#and i dragged my friends away from the group for this express purpose

[queenendless]

🩵Satoru Main Frame (Adult!Gojo x Fem!Reader)🩵

A/N: Yall. MANGA LEAKS. New episode tomorrow about ... ya know what. And I'm not okay. So more self-indulgent comforting cute stuff okay!?

Fluff, wholesome turned steamy confessions, make out time, and all with the best man there IS!

All credit to JJK and the image goes to Gege sensei ... even after the crap they just pulled .... sorry.

PLEASE DON'T STEAL OR COPY MY FAN WORK, LIKE AND REBLOGS/SHARES WILL DO!

I hope you all enjoy my attempt at consoling venting content during this time. Okay enjoy!

You may not be the strongest nor a sorcerer for that matter, but your use as a Window meant you were a member of Jujutsu Tech for as long as you were usable to them.

Meaning you not only got to see the first and second years who you've gotten closer to; all precious in their own crazy ways, but you also got to see their sensei. Whenever he was around, you mean.

Watching you mingling with his students from afar kept you on a fidgety edge. Toying with your hands and checking yourself over to make sure nothing looked off.

"Whatcha talkin' about~?" Gojo weaseled cheekily into your group talk with the two female students turned kouhai friends of yours.

"None of your noisy business." Maki tersely replied.

"Personal private space, creepy sensei!" Nobara snapped out.

You mouthed I'm sorry over the shoulder as the girls dragged you off the opposite way. Him gaping at you a bit at your concern before grinning coyly as he waved it off like it was no big deal made you a bashful smiling mess.

Exorcizing curses high enough in the air for you to see made you bashfully look away from his cheery expression above, to your internal elated heart but to your other two companions' ire.

"Going overboard as always," Megumi groaned.

"At least the area got evacuated." Yuji's trying optimism did not lessen Megumi's annoyance.

Even having lunch in the courtyard, seeing Gojo annoying Nanami-san passing by the outdoor roofed pathway nearby made your dopey smile have your two eating buddies look to you then to their sensei, piecing it all together.

"Ooohhh you have got it bad~!" Panda teased only to deflate. "But does it have to be Gojo-sensei?"

"Bonito Flakes." Inumaki shook his head, eyes pitying your choice.

You were internally panicking as swarms of butterflies frazzled your nerves, externally staying mute and red as you looked nowhere else but your lunch box set.

And yet, you couldn't help it.

Despite everyone's obvious distaste for the strongest sorcerer on their side for his crazy rule breaking irresponsible antics, that didn't deter you in the slightest.

Even as you finished your meal and excused yourself, hurriedly leaving, you seeked out that chaotic man purposely.

His voice.

His strength.

His spikey propped up snowy hair paired with that velvety black blindfold resting over those illuminating eyes you've only heard about and never seen with your eyes —!

"L/n~!" That familiar cheery voice breathed in your ear from behind. You yelped, jumping in fear, before swiftly turning around at that toothy smile. "Hi~!"

"Uh – I – I was just … just –!" Your stuttered rambles were cut off swiftly as he pointed a finger right in your face.

"Question! Answer truthfully, pretty please~!" His wide toothy grin had you sold.

"Um …. okay?"

"You were looking for dear old me, weren't you?" The smug confidence from his expression to his irresistible voice had you flushing and swelling up inside in anxious worry. You felt either lying or not would just amuse him.

Looking at your feet in burning bashfulness, you quietly spoke. " … Yes."

He hummed loudly, his smile widening, rubbing his chin in thought. "What about exactly?"

"Just … just to …" You felt darkness overtake you, looking up slowly, startled out of your own skin at how close his face leaned into your personal space.

"Yeeeeees~?" Gojo was enjoying this too much.

Shakily gasping, you breathed in and out deeply through your nose.

"When you're not too busy … I was wondering if you'd … want to … hang out?"

He held his chin, pondering, humming loud enough. "Hang out, huh? Well, while I'm flattered you think so highly of me and my presence … I can't help feeling suss … what brought this on all of a sudden? Especially since this is the first time you've spoken to me. When it's just us two … all alone … when I can be the most unpredictable one here and you are unprepared for what I could do~?"

His wiggling fingers and the low tone he spoke in had your brain screaming at you to tuck tail and bolt.

Yet you didn't want to move. You were stuck in place. Entranced by his everything.

"Like THIS~!"

A whoosh of the winds and the setting made you dizzy when the secured warm embodiment of the strongest kept you caged against his front. Blinking while getting your bearings to what happened, you saw the cloudy blue sky way up close. Your eyes peaked down.

Yep, you were way way high up. And Gojo alone kept you two floating still and not plummeting to oblivion. Exhilarating being on top of the world with the strongest there is and petrified of the extreme height. You trembled, clutching your hands at his jacketed lower back, when his enriching voice lulled down your nerves.

"You're not gonna fall."

"Gojo-san, what are you – ?!"

"Figured I'd get the point across on top of the world. Literally." His towering self-gazed down at you; blindfolded and all. "All those gazes you give me, seeing you smiling down below when I'm up this high, I could tell right away that you're not like everyone else. I mean, your admiration and affection has not gone unnoticed …" His chuckles set you in a blushing burning state as butterflies raked your nerves, leaving him chuckling deeper and longer.

That's why his deep frown unsettled you so much. "But I'm not the best choice to have feelings for."

Your heart began cracking.

"You know the spoken truths about me from the others. The idiotic, irresponsible playboy teacher that causes chaos wherever he goes. But you still view me as more than that, don't you?"

Your nod of agreement brought him to brush his nose against your forehead tenderly. "All I want is to not have anyone feel lonely anymore in this doomed system of ours … yet in this imbalanced world … it still finds ways to give me hope." His arms gave your waist a squeeze. "You have to be somewhat crazy to survive this sorcerer's life. Perhaps I'm just that crazy for thinking this all up on the spot."

You can feel the crazy emanating off of him.

"To think, a wild card such as myself holding your precious self in my arms right now … I revel in it~ I mean sure, you're not the strongest one here. That'd be me." You deflated at his light jab and smug pride. "But still, the sound of your voice soothes me deeply. I cherish how your smile lights up wherever you are. You still see the good in me despite all my flaws. Heh, you're something else, you know that?"

You yelped as he lifted you up with one arm, having your bum rest on his forearm, immediately hugging his neck in your wrapped arms. You gulped at how close your faces were now.

"I know earlier I said being with me isn't the best choice to make … but I … I don't want you to stay away either. I don't want us keeping such a distance apart. After all, you didn't intend on us just hanging out like coworkers or comrades even today … right?"

Your squeezing lips betrayed your true intentions loud and clear. "No …" The ends of his lips curled upwards as you took a deep breath, braving to see this through. "I like you Gojo-san … a lot. You … you truly do care about our comrades … your students … you want them to stand with you … help in your fight to bring about a better world … makes me want to support and help you in any possible way I can … I'm not the strongest … so supporting the strongest is the next best thing. Then there's your own enriching laughter, your enrapturing voice, your odd sense of humor …"

Listing it all off had him beaming proudly. "Most of all … deep down you do care … in your own Satoru way …" You giggled at that last one when his rattled groan startled you just as much as his embrace did, having your legs hugging his waistline, burying your face in his neck so as not to panic at how high up you were.

"Why you gotta be so cute~?!" He whined playfully. "So naive … so adorable … ugh why must you make me sway so~!?" He dramatically cried out to the heavens. You snorted at his performance when the cradling gesture of his hand running slowly through your hair comforted you much more than you thought. "Now I'm really tempted not to let you go." The deep possessive tone he took shivered you to the core.

Breathing in his scent that soothed your anxious quaking soul, you dove fully in. Past the point of no return. "Then don't."

He pushed your hair aside enough to kiss the bare skin there, your shuddering gasp leaving his lips curled into your flesh at his greedy claims. "I hope you're prepared for what you just signed up for." The howling winds hit you hard as you clutched onto him for dear life when his warp to solid earth only took a moment, back on school grounds with the main building in plain view in the distance. "Because I like you too … and I plan on keeping you sweetie all to myself."

You pulled back, looking down at him gave you a surge of control at having this giant looking up at you with such a charming face. "Gojo-san –"

"Just Gojo or Satoru is fine coming from you, Y/n~" He assured you with his blessing.

You shyly smiled. " … T … Toru too?"

Literal sparkles appeared, adorning his face as he laughed out loud, unrestrained and rambunctious, as he hugged you tighter. "Oh, you are quite the catch, indeed!" Your own laughter was soft compared to his but it only heightened his affections for you. "Yes, yes, Toru too … has quite the ring to it~ So, can we make it official then … Y/n? Will you let me take you out?"

Your hands held his face, gently brushing his cheeks, bringing a light blush to his own cheeks had you endearingly gleam. "Yes."

He kept one arm around your waist, so his other arm wrapped around your shoulders, brushing aside your hair, massaging your scalp, smiling broadly. "Can I kiss you?"

Your eager nod followed by your own face leaning in was all the prompting he needed as the hesitant smooch felt so freeing.

You felt yourself at peace. Your skin tingled at how sweet he tasted, how safe and warm you felt in his hug. Tepid pecks soon turned to lingering drawn out sucks as your sighs pleased him, even more so when his tongue lapped at your bottom lip before treading new ground in your cavern, leaving a mewling mess inside you against his hungry groans as your tongues danced.

Weaving your hands upwards just to run them through his stand upish do, you accidentally making his blindfold slide down, letting his hair fall free, revealing his Six Eyes. He didn't mind, if only to look upon you with his gaze out in the open. The vibrant blue pulsated with such vigor and drive it had aroused you beyond all reason.

Running your own hands through his hair, you pulled him deeper to keep him as close as possible, both of you sighing elatedly as the squelched sounds of kissing passion wafted through the air. The gleaming sun highlighting you two in your own little world made it all the more sacred.

"Thank you, Y/n~" He gasped, pulling free from your wet tasty mouth as his fingers brushed your clothed sides and neck, his hold on you lingering as his strength was unbound, mushing his lips to the corner of yours. You felt lightheaded at how smooth and rich your name sounded coming off his tongue. "For giving me the chance to ask you out."

You hummed contently, smiling. "You're welcome."

He chuckled. "Movie date. My place. Sound good?"

"Wow, so forward. And we just started dating and everything." Your sarcastic tone had him smugly smirking as he spun you two around, cherishing your laughter at his action.

"I can't help it. Just you and me … nestled together … binging and snacking to our hearts content …. now that's my kind of heaven. And I don't plan on letting you go anytime soon." The covetous manner he voiced in your ear before tugging in your lobe had your mind racing on what it could insure for you, to both your excitement and nervousness.

Your surprised squeal and his dark chuckles were the last sounds heard in the vicinity before Gojo warped you two away yet again.

You, the admirer, just became the admired.

By the most selfish, gluttonous, overwhelming man there ever is.

But he's also yours now.

And honestly?

You wouldn't have it any other way.

#gojo satoru #jjk #jjk gojo #jujutsu kaisen #jjk fanfiction #jjk fanfic #gojo sensei #yuji itadori #megumi fushiguro #nobara kugisaki #toge inumaki #maki zenin #panda #kento nanami #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x y/n #gojo satoru x female reader #jujutsu gojo #satoru gojō x reader #jujutsu kaisen satoru #jjk satoru #jjk first years #jjk second years #jujutsu kaisen au #jujutsu kaisen gojo #jjk au #jjk anime #sfw

[sunoooism]

I was down ; you picked me up

› summary: in which Taehyun finds you in a pit of despair and helps you climb out.

› angst, comfort / wc: 1,628

 › warnings: mental health issues, self doubting thoughts, suicidal thoughts/intentions, eating disorder & depression, crying, mentions of throwing up, angst, comfort ending, some sort of higher education au (they live in dormitories), if you're ever feeling like this please reach out to someone (my dms r open), I'm not at all romanticising this kind of behaviour but it's comfort writing and very much self indulgent, don't read if you don't like, gn!reader.

everything around you felt dull and dark, felt like it was suffocating you, dragging you down into its grey mass. it had this horrible feeling of loneliness splashed into the mix, filling up your lungs until you were drowning in it. and what was worse, nobody cared enough to pull you out. you supposed it was nobody's fault but your own though. summer was the chance you had been waiting for, the chance to erase yourself. unanswered texts, missed calls and unreturned letters piled up for too long and eventually your friends stopped trying all together. it hurt, but you had achieved your motive in the end, so you didn't understand why you felt so unpleasantly about it. unfortunately rumours were now circling about the school, the hot new subject being that you thought you were too good for your old friends and that's why you ghosted them. ironic, your mind that loved to torture you so with your low self esteem was laughing at you. yet, today you didn't seem to care enough to express it outwardly.

hair askew, uniform crinkled, eyebags that felt ever so heavy, you dragged yourself to the library. earning a few glares and nudges on your way, you had guessed they were fueled by the rumours. and despite looking worse than death itself, no one seemed to notice the longing for it behind your lifeless eyes. as you passed through the many hallways, you spotted your friends, now ex friends, all laughing together through a window. the usual numbness you felt was replaced by a wave of hurt that almost swallowed you whole when you saw how unaffected they were by your absence, even though you knew you didn't have the right to, not after you purposely cut them off. although there were many students blocking your view of them, Soobin still managed to clock you gazing at them with wistful longing and regret.

in an act of panic you jumped at his sudden attention and sped away from them, but not before you heard Kai call your name. fortunately for you a study period was last on your schedule, so you made your way to your dorm, trying to look as inconspicuous as one could when speed walking away from a group of people. the footsteps managed to follow you through buzzing crowds until you reached the hall of which your dorm was located, you breathed a sigh of relief when you could no longer hear their thundering stomps.

warm tears were already making their way down your cheeks by the time you'd collapsed on your bed and hidden yourself amongst the many blankets and cushions sitting upon it. you let your sadness consume you once again, choking on your gasps and sniffles.

your room was your only outlet of peace, every student at the school knew that, which is why you didn't understand why someone was now banging on your door when they were meant to be in class anyway. you didn't have the energy nor the care to open the door. not leaving your dorm in three and a half days had made you feel like jelly whenever you moved, that and all those days depriving yourself of food, water and daylight didn't help either. you had hoped it was punishment enough for pushing your friends away, but apparently something in your body wanted for you to suffer more, curled up in your bed staring at a blank wall until you fell asleep. the showers and the cookie basket your mother sent were calling to you, almost as inviting as a siren song. but with most things these days you couldn't find it in yourself to want to or care enough.

the incessant knocking on your door continued, as well as the now overuse of your name being called. in all honesty the thought of someone seeing you like this made you want to throw up, probably what they would do at the sight of you. ah, your mind was torturing you again, enough to make you teeter and sway at the edge, but never enough to push you over and watch you tumble down until you hit rock bottom.

you heard your doorknob turn and someone walk in. you thought you had locked your door? not knowing who it was you were ready for some judgemental looks being thrown your way when they saw your state. you were hoping it was an axe murderer coming to end your pathetic and dreary life but apparently not as kang taehyun was all who flooded your vision.

"y/n, what the fuck? everyone thought you were dead" the sentence had come out more venomous than he'd of liked, but right now it was hard to sound soft as he stared at his friend looking like they'd been drained of all life.

"might as well be" your throaty response came out quiet, but he heard, and it broke his heart more than when you'd dumped him right before summer. though it was the first time he'd heard you speak in 9 weeks, he could hear all the self loathing and resentment your tone held. taehyun laid a hand on your arm, rubbing soothing circles that spread the first warmth you'd felt in weeks through your body, then he asked the question everyone who felt like you dreaded and hoped for at the same time.

"are you okay?"

somehow, you still had enough fluids in you to push down your stoic barrier and let everything pour out. tears began to stream down your cheeks, which only worried the boy that knelt beside you further. "y/n?" the call of your name passed right through you, too busy gasping between sobs to acknowledge he was talking to you.

"y/n? can you sit up for me?" his tone was mellow, just as soft as his touch that had now trailed down to your hands. you supposed he didn't want to upset you more than you already were by sounding angry. despite the gnawing thought of wanting to curl up in a ball and die because someone had seen you like this, you manoeuvred your body languidly so you could lean against the wall, because you knew that this was best for you right now.

after a moment of putting the deep breathing exercises Yeonjun had taught you to good use, a tissue was held in front of you. your shaky hand reached out and grasped it, barely strong enough to hold it up to your face.

"i'm sorry" the words escaped you before you could even choose to say them, a frown etching its way onto taehyun's brows when he heard. "why are you apologising?"

"I-" the words died in your throat once you realised you weren't quite sure why, was it because you dumped him? because of the fact you ignored him all summer only for him to be the person comforting you at your lowest? both?.

"you don't have to apologise for feeling things'' you didn't quite know how to respond to that. your lack of reply gave him another opening to speak. "do you want to talk more about it after some food and a shower?" nodding hesitantly, you followed his slow movements to walk towards the door, planning to grab clean clothes and a towel on the way. that plan was quickly brushed to the back of your mind when your vision clouded over with black spots, weakening you until you collapsed back onto your bed with a shaky breath that alerted taehyun to your troubles.

"woah, you alright? want me to grab a nurse?" all that followed was a brisk shake of your head and tears making their home under your lash line once again.

stupid. you couldn't even walk right.

"i'm sorry" you squeaked out, voice quivery with the sniffles. "hey, it's okay. there's no need for apologies over this, yeah?" your body sought out refuge as it leant into his palm he had placed gently on your cheek, his affection burning your skin with the familiar warmth that had always come to you when the two of you were dating. you wondered how he felt about all this, watching his ex fall apart multiple times in ten minutes for a reason that was unknown to him. god, you must have looked stupid.

"i'm sorry, taehyun" you finally spoke after an awkward silence, both waiting for the other to say something. "hey, what did I just-"

"no. it's, it's not for that," he watched you carefully, as if he looked too hard you might crack under his gaze. you hated that, but nevertheless you were grateful he cared. "i'm sorry for ignoring you this summer, it wasn't fair to you, or to anyone else I ditched. I just, I want you to know it wasn't because of you. i just thought it might hurt less for you and me when i…."

the rest was caught in your throat as you couldn't bring yourself to say it in front of him, the boy who'd said he would give you the whole world if he could. the boy who treated you like royalty every minute you spent together, the boy who used to love you more than anything else. the boy who still does love you more than anything else. he didn't deserve to hear what you were about to say.

"when you..?" one glance up into his curious brown eyes was all it took for him to understand. you could see him trying to mask the pain for your sake, hiding it so you didn't feel guilty. but you already did.

"i'm sor-" you were promptly interrupted when taehyun spoke over you, eyes gazing fondly into yours. "hey,"

"no more sorries, 'k?"

#sunoooism #txt #txt x reader #txt x you #txt x gender neutral reader #txt kang taehyun #txt taehyun #kang taehyun x reader #kang taehyun #kang taehyun x gender neutral reader #taehyun #taehyun x reader #tomorrow x together #txt drabbles #txt scenarios #txt headcanons #comfort #angst #txt angst #txt comfort #kang taehyun comfort #taehyun comfort #kang taehyun angst #taehyun angst

[atomicfroot]

(Fan continuity) Starverse Prowl design!!!

Just a REALLY messy sketch of him. Plus I wanted to have a go at designing a Canon character on my Fan continuity :3 I loveeeee Prowl a whole lot

My prowl is a mix of a bunch of continuities but me mixing my own stuff in there for him. (I dunno I really struggled at first for his story to be close to "canon" but then i remembered this is my story and I can make anything Canon in my continuity LOL)

Uhh random facts about Starverse Prowl!

-Ex-Autobot + second in command(defected from the autobots near the end of the war after but has joined the now neutral Star Saber's brigade for the sole purpose of just researching and helping organic life forms. A whole lot..happier and emotional...??? Due to not needing to hold back his emotions and let his super computer processor from taking over. And plus his new friends made him feel like he's a person and not just a tool for war)

-he has his battle mask on alot due to him still feeling awkward showing other people what he really feels when he expresses it (to him it feels embarrassing)

-Becomes a city speaker in the future storyline (where the star runners and star saber's group had mer up with each other) But the incident did end up shattering his eye (maybe soon I'll write or draw something out)

-Secretly a cyberninja until after he joins star saber's group, he's more open to showing it :DD he is often trying to practice meditation tactics or sparring with the others

-Workaholic but what else is new? Though he still doesn't really take that much good care of himself despite reminding the others to take care of themselves (he often gets scolded or dragged away from his work if he looks to be on the brink of passing out)

I hope you guys like him :DDDD don't hesitate to ask me more about him or anything!!! I don't mind at all though j might ramble away......

#maccadam #transformers #prowl #tf #Transformers Starverse #art #fanart #mecha #uhhhhh idk this prowl is a bit weird but i love him so much

[cloudofbutterflies92]

"I had a very nice dream that started like this." For Eden and Ghost, if you want to ofc <3

Oh hi honey, absolutely yes💕💕. And I hope it can give you satisfaction.

Pairing: Ghost x f!oc

It's a bit smutty so MDNI

Divider by @cafekitsune

Chloe belongs to @chloekistune

Valerie"Gorgon"Watson belongs to @onehornedbeast

Alyssa Price belongs to @alypink

The typical trashy prime-time realty show was playing on the TV, Eden was sitting on the couch. She was intent on the phone with Chloe to help her choose a dress; Johnny had invited her to a well-known Japanese restaurant in town and she didn't know what to wear.

"That dress we bought in Camden" the woman with the long raven hair recalled, they had bought it recently although Chloe was initially hesitant.

She did not usually wear such short dresses, she preferred longer dresses, it was Eden and Aly who had told her to buy it and Val had suggested the leather jacket. It had been a carefree day among girls, away from their boyfriends and the problems that had been boring the group lately.

"Don't you think that's going too far? I wouldn't want people to then" Chloe on video call took the dress with a questioning expression. She needed a confidence boost.

"People go to hell Clo Clo, and just in case I can get there and detach heads"

"Maybe better not" the purple-haired girl giggled fearfully "I'll wear it, so Johnny will be happy too"

"That's the spirit Clo Clo" Eden's gaze was drawn to something, or rather someone in her vision.Had he put on the gray sweatpants on purpose?

"Twin I'll call you in a bit, I have a service to do" greeted her best friend (who did not understand such a change of plans) Eden stood up with her arms folded.Simon was still intent on adjusting the shelf, tank top and gray pants. A fatal combination.

"Are you doing this on purpose Riley?" She huffed with folded arms, an adorable pout contoured her lips before he reached out and gave her a pat on the head.

"What makes you say that?"

"Last night I heard you murmuring. Plus are you wearing the sweatpants you wanted to throw away because they were too tight?" in a bored tone the female commented on the man's question, who swallowed the toad.

"I had a very nice dream that started like this" the Mancunian was interrupted by Eden, the brunette smirked. And to make him despair she had a brilliant idea.

"Why don't you tell me a little?' " she dragged him to the couch, then positioning herself on top of his thigh.

"I dreamed of a beach" he cleared his throat, sighing at the contact of Eden's covered core with the tiny fabric that he could feel the warmth and wetness it gave off. Eden knew how to drive him crazy.

"Beach? I imagine the two of us on the sand and the waves of the ocean enveloping us. Maybe naked?" The brunette winked, sinuously moving her hips. Simon's huge hand rested on her hip, his cheeks warming.

"It's uhm... it's a good idea," his other hand rested under Eden's top, which was already singing victory.

"Just a good idea babe?"

"You're a threat, I don't think I'll hold out any longer. Bloody Jesus hell" Simon had lost complete lucidity, hypnotized by the movements of his woman, who like an enchanting siren approached his ear. One strap of the top she was wearing was already down.

"How about now you show me what we did on that beach?My good big boy "she grabbed him by both cheeks. That gesture was enough to find him pinning her under the surface of the couch, kissing her as if he hadn't eaten in days.

"Get ready Edie" he responded to her persuasive gaze with equal warmth "you wanted the fucking demonstration. Well I'll give you what you want."

Tag:@chloekistune @graveyard-party666 @alypink @corvosattano @onehornedbeast @themotherofhorses @cassietrn @thewanderer-000 @thedeadthree @pvnkesttt @sinclxirx @kikiharinezumi @theelderhazelnut @dickytwister

#sorry for the cringe #oc:eden“spectra”park #x: fire and gasoline #pairing: ghost & eden #call of duty oc:eden “spectra” park #call of duty oc #cod oc #simon ghost riley #cod mw2 #call of duty original character #original character #cod smut #ghost smut #ghost mw 2 #ghost x female oc #call of duty fanfic #ghost x eden

[weeo]

What's Bred in the Bone Comes Out in the Flesh

Where the Waters Do Agree - Chapter 4

Pairing:  Tommy Shelby / Alfie Solomons

Summary: Alfie offered Tommy to help him kill his mark—looks like they have a mission to complete, and a destabilising tension to deal with.

Warnings/Tags:  Violence, Blood, Assassination

Notes: This is the 4th chapter of a group fic! If you want to read the story from the beginning, you can have access to every chapter here.

Thank you so much to the lovely @deadendtracks for the beta!

Read on AO3

It may appear suspicious to find your very dear mate, on a serene morning after a churning storm, sharing eggs and bacon with none other than your own fucking mark. Alfie could concede to him that.

As a matter of fact, he’d been the first surprised by this incongruous situation. He considered he’d never get the chance to reencounter this shithead on the face of the earth, let alone come across him sipping tea in the first-class saloon the following day. Surreal, innit? When they parted their way to their personal cabins the previous night, Alfie had no doubts Tommy would squirm for 30 seconds in his bed before wandering through the halls to finish his task. What honestly could have been better than pretending to be Tommy's knight in shining armour without lifting a fucking finger, eh? 

Well, Alfie was open to recognising the situation was tricky. Nonetheless, stomping on Alfie’s foot with his boot heel, while Alfie generously served himself second helpings of scrambled eggs at the breakfast buffet, was an outright overreaction on Tommy’s part. 

Alfie’s cane, hung at his elbow, slammed to the ground in an excruciating commotion. All heads pivoted towards him. How silly of Tommy to draw attention to them in such a reckless manner!

“What the fuck, man?”

Alfie’s knees screamed when he picked his cane up. Blood trickled down the severed inside of his cheek and its bitter taste snaked around his teeth. Thankfully, the counter helped him to regain his feet without looking like a bedridden old grouch.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Alfie?” Tommy stared blankly at the wall facing him at the other end of the room and exhaled a trail of smoke. Slowly. Way too slow, so that the purpose was to be infuriating. Tommy acted like a Hollywood sweetheart, batting his eyelashes on a cardboard film set. Who the fuck does this disdainful prick think he is when Alfie’s been anything but considerate with his friend? 

“Well, actually, I’m doing your job, mate.”

Tommy snickered humorlessly before taking another drag of his cigarette. “I doubt that.”

Alfie smiled. “Hm, silly boy, you’ve not read your documents closely, ain’t you?”

“Should I understand you’ve been spying on me?” 

Alfie’s hand reached to his heart. “Accusing your dear mate of such lowness, what a world to raise children in!”

Tommy turned his head towards Alfie and raised an eyebrow: “It’s not because you can’t bend your knees anymore that such lowness is unreachable for you, Alfie.”

“Well, yeah, you know…”

“What were you bloody doing?”

“Well, I was extending a hand to a very dear friend of mine in need of assistance, because, see, helping you resolves my own fucking problem, mate.”

“Fucking spit it out, Alfie. What were you bloody doing with that fucker?”

“Oh, you know, just paying double for three crates of Tommy guns. You’re supposed to stop this guy from selling and shipping them to the IRA, if you’d read the papers closely.”

“How did you get them?” Tommy maintained an unimpressed—or nonetheless, contained—expression.

“In your coat pocket.”

“Do you think you’re being funny?” Tommy knitted his brows.

“Yeah, mate, indeed. You wouldn’t have fucking noticed if a horse burst into your fucking cabin, no less a simple man snatching a paper from your very own coat pocket.” Alfie nearly swiped his plate away with large, careless gestures. He got carried away—an excess of confidence. 

After a fleeting silence, Tommy admitted: “I just got straight to the main parts.”

“Better not to know, uh?” Alfie fixed Tommy, looking for his eyes. “Yeah, well, I help my mate, and by a phenomenal alignment of events, I also resolve the business I’m on this little trip for. It truly is the best of both worlds, innit?”

“Have you ever done something which wasn’t in your best interest, Alfie?”

“Have you?” Alfie smiled recklessly, showing his terrible crooked tooth on full display. “See, we’re just the same. Hell’s Kitchen also lives up to its fucking name, mate. It’s been put to fire and the sword since some bloody wop insulted the fiancé of my mourned cousin Adam.” Alfie’s hand reached to his heart. “Nonetheless, these bands of fucking savages have been killing each other with meat cleavers, saws and fucking rolling pins. Can’t you believe it? Hm, yeah, nothing’s worse than being ashamed of his own fucking kin, right? Soon, they’ll make their enemy choke on bloody bread dough if no one fucking intervenes. This regrettable shitshow has to be definitely put to an end, and the Thompson submachine guns would let off a good fucking firework finale, don’t you think?”

“Keep it down.” Tommy intervened and glanced to the side without moving his neck an inch.  “You will frighten our friend.” He whispered: “The guns can be part of the deal, but we need to figure out where they fucking are.”

“Meet me in room 47 at 9 PM. I’ll lure your guy in to conclude our business. He arms the enemy as long as the cash is worth it. He shouldn’t be difficult to bait with an increased transaction. We make him spill the beans and send him on an eternal honeymoon with good ol’ Eddie. Easy.”

“Easy enough if I trusted you, Alfie.”

“Look, mate, is there a remarkably better idea offered to you? Well, suppose an impeccable resolution fell on you from the sky this very morning, you know, sent by the Almighty; you could have just said like a freakin normal human blessed with the gift of speech: “No, mate, thank you dearly, but I’ll handle it myself.”, ain’t you?”

Tommy blinked slowly and crushed his cigarette on the tiled floor. He dropped his empty, pristine plate off on a trolley full of soiled dishes and left the saloon without a word. 

Suppose it’s his way to acknowledge he’s on board, eh?

*

He sure won’t complain to the staff about finding Tommy seated on the bed when he got to cabin number 47, but there’s been a real lack of safety and protection of private life on this fucking heap of metal. He was the one who had the fucking keys, for fuck’s sake.

“It’s not yours,” Tommy said as soon as Alfie opened the door.

“Didn’t want blood all over me fucking carpet, ain’t I?” Alfie leaned on his cane. “You already knew though, didn’t you?”

“Of course. I wouldn’t be here otherwise.” Tommy got off the bed like he would offer his seat to an old man on the train.

Alfie stayed planted on his feet where he was, eyes widened and fixed towards Tommy: “Killed by a man mysteriously lost at sea. You offered us the perfect fucking carpet to ruin on a silver platter, mate.”

“When the fucker’s coming?” Tommy interrupted, acting like he’d already thought all this though.

“Thirsty for blood, ain’t you?” Alfie snickered.

“Thirsty to get it over with.”

Alfie’s lower back was cursing him. He waited until a decent amount of time had passed. He refused to appear as if he’d rushed towards the seat Tommy had left vacant. He must be careful about pushing his body like that in the next few days. “I gave you an early appointment, mate.” Alfie paused to restrain his breath of relief when he was seated. “It happens that, you know, we have business to discuss.”

“How much do you want?”

“Five crates of ten.”

“Two.”

“Nonsense. Tell me, treacle, why should I fucking settle for less than the fucking rich prick offered, eh?” 

“Three then. It’s even without spending a bloody pound.”

"Well, love, that would make sense in our dirty ol’ England, but we've been sailing on the waters of the mighty United States of America for a while now. The tip for the service isn't included in the initial price."

“Four. No higher.”

“Deal.”

*

Assured knocks were heard inside room 47.

Alfie bit back a groan when he stood up from the bed. His back had been struck by a lighting bolt. He opened the door and gestured an invitation to enter: “Henry, Henry, come in, mate.”

Henry Aston wiped his feet on the doormat and looked around the room while Alfie closed the door behind him: “I would have imagined you’d be less tidy, Mr Solomons.”

“I should hate to be predictable, shouldn’t I?” Alfie smiled and raised a metal flask out of his pocket: “Rum?”

Henry nodded. “We have to hide like rats to drink a glass of liquor, and they call that progress.”  

The cork of the flask popped off, and Alfie poured two glasses on the side table.

“It has come to my attention that we may share an acquaintance, Mr Solomons.” A shiver raced down Alfie’s spine. He drew his hand closer to his coat pocket. The cold metal of his gun kissed his wrist through the fabric.

“Who would that be?” 

“Edward O’Connell. I had the opportunity to witness how you nearly came to blows on the pontoon before the departure. I’m amazed they allowed you to board after causing such a delaying inconvenience.”

Alfie grabbed one glass in each hand and turned around, harbouring a forced smile: “Good ol’ Eddie. How do you know that tosser?”

Henry accepted the glass. “He’s a very dear client of mine. He happens to serve as the go-between for the shipping companies of armament and the IRA.” Henry smelled its content with his eyes closed. “I suspect he may also work as a counterintelligence agent for the Republic of Ireland.”

“Hm. Two sides to a coin, they say. Tails, you may be lucky. Heads, dirtied by the face of the King. Even truer for Irish, eh?”

“Cheers to that!” Henry raised his glass and gulped its amber-coloured liquid.

“Me own recipe. What do you think of that, eh?”

“Too bitter. That thing is for the workers.”

Alfie lifted an eyebrow. “Hm, yeah, right?” 

“We had important matters to discuss. One especially concerned me to the highest degree. That assassin from the crown you mentioned earlier, have you strictly identified him as we speak?” Henry asked.

Alfie bit his cheek. He hadn’t predicted that the tosser would bring that up so soon. “No, mate. He’s a tough fish to catch.” It’s not like their little games haven’t always been scattered with Alfie’s switches of side. Bet on all the horses, and you’ll never taste the bitter savour of defeat. An unquestionable victory is always tainted, though, whether in a distasteful range of vivid colours or a washed-out beige. Bravery has never made him richer than betting blindly on all the horses.

“Dear Edward had an eye on someone. He was supposed to have more information to provide after breakfast this morning, but he stood me up. Guess he slipped away after being an ineffective, dirty thief.”

“Well, yeah, sounds just like him.”

“You’re as bitter as your rum every time his name is cited in a conversation, and I might very well know why.”

“Do you?”

“He may have tried to intimidate me for the same felony. Men like us, Mr Solomons, are prone to be blackmailed by men like Eddie, if our penchant is ever uncovered by them despite our carefulness. Nonetheless, I conducted him hastily to understand it’d be in his best interests to conserve my friendship instead of provoking my wrath.”

“Well, there’s a variety of means to reach an equal goal, innit?”

“Like punching him in the face.”

“Hm, yeah, sort of.”

“And which means would lead you to blow me?”

Alfie snickered, and Henry’s stare underlined his seriousness.

“Nah, fuck off, mate. I have for a rule, right, that, you know, I don’t blow rich fucking assholes who served in the cavalry.” 

As much as Tommy liked to pretend they didn’t have a deep understanding of each other, Alfie knew damn well Tommy’s blood was boiling right fucking now. He was galvanising him for the hardships to come. It was as much a smack across the face as a delicate, thoughtful gift. 

“Let’s settle our gun business, right? You tell me at which pier we’re supposed to meet tomorrow. I give you your money. And then, I’ll kindly invite you to fuck off.”

“You’re a fool if you believed I ever had any interest in your money. I smelled it on you from afar you were a bloody cock-sucker. You reek of it even more when walking that pikey rent boy around. Your business must have been fruitful to afford such an overpriced, ostentatious slut on a whole boat journey. We could invite him if you need that tight ass to get it up.”

One minute, Alfie snickered humorlessly, and the next, a shadow came into sight behind Henry to trap its arm around his throat. They were both thrown off balance and moved backwards until Tommy’s back banged the wardrobe he’d been hidden in. Henry struggled to free himself from Tommy, who tightened his hold around Henry’s neck. 

“You were jealous, weren’t you?” Henry smirked. He elbowed Tommy’s side and managed to get out of Tommy’s grip.

“You, fucker.” Alfie moved closer and punched Henry’s face. Henry grabbed Alfie’s shirt to steady himself. The rush of adrenaline maintained the illusion Alfie had regained his grounded, rooted in the floor strength of his youth, until something in his back snapped and made him follow Henry in his fall.

They reached for each other’s shirts. “You spent way too much time on a horse, mate.” Alfie took advantage of that hold to give Henry a headbutt. A second. And a third. 

Henry’s nose was gushing blood, and Alfie might have also broken his own. A red fountain was running down his face, dripping on Henry’s chest. Henry gave a shove with his legs and made them roll through the cabin until they hit the foot of the bed. He topped over Alfie and lifted his fist to punch him: “You—“ 

Tommy seized Henry under his armpits to drag him backwards to the centre of the room. Alfie dove on Henry’s legs to help Tommy immobilise him. With a knife, Tommy slit Henry’s throat. Drips splashed on Alfie’s face. A river of blood snaked down the scumbag’s chest and Tommy’s arms. Henry was still trying to stop blood spilling from his throat with his hands, as life was abandoning his eyes. Tommy shoved Alfie further to straddle Henry and planted his knife in Henry’s chest, the side of his neck, and even his face multiple times. Every stab given was hurried and swifter than the previous one. 

The adrenaline unleashed the frightened, contained beast, which never ceased to growl inside Tommy’s guts since France. Alfie could be afraid of it if his stomach weren’t vibrating with the howling of his own, poorly imprisoned with rusty shackles. The beasts living inside them were acquainted. Their barks had the familiarity of relatives’ steps on a staircase. Their instinct danced around the excitement of their shared rage, their shared fear. They were rolled in a comforting scent—the thrill of recognition, their yearning and reunion for a fellow creature intertwined until suffocation.

The tension in Henry’s legs had melted long ago when Alfie called Tommy’s name and stroked Tommy’s arm to stop his repetitive motions. There was so much blood suddenly, as if they burst into an open-heart surgery. Tommy crawled on his knees and stumbled on the carpet coated with a reflective bed of blood. Tommy’s loud breathing started to slow down. Alfie’s back, which had been surprisingly silent, now screamed. He threw Henry’s corpse further away in a last painful effort to lie down next to Tommy.

Half of Tommy’s face was drenched in fresh blood. There were two sides of a coin. Unlike Eddie, the dirt suited him. His eyelashes, covered by blood and tears, were glinting in the awful orange light of the bedside lamp. This scene carried the ambivalence Alfie had always felt towards butterfly wings. He craved to crush the beauty of Tommy’s face under his boot, as much as keeping it pinned behind glass for admiration and never allowing it to yield to decay.

A different kind of beast had been woken up in his lower belly. One that was no less dangerous.

“You betrayed me once again, Alfie.” Tommy interrupted Alfie’s train of thought. He was fixing the wood ceiling over them without even looking at it.

“Hm, yeah, sweetie, you know, don’t put all your eggs in the same basket, they say.” Tommy frowned, and Alfie raised his voice: “What was I supposed to do, right? Waiting for what God had intended for me!? Nah, nah, nah. Fucking ridiculous, mate.” Alfie gave a sour laugh. He turned his face and pointed his raised forefinger towards Tommy, who wouldn’t look at him: “Only fools don’t back themselves, eh? And I fucking well know what you’re going to fucking say: Alfie, he was giving away too much strategic information to plan on keeping you alive.” Alfie imitated Tommy’s rough voice. “I know, alright?” 

Tommy raised an eyebrow, and Alfie mumbled as if he was confessing a secret: “To reassure you, mate, I had put most of my eggs in your freakin’ basket.”

Tommy’s blank stare turned towards Alfie: "It seems your collaboration has a price, doesn’t it?” 

Alfie was torn to say yes because he’d never been a good man, and Tommy would do anything to secure the success of this mission. He was curious. It was nibbling him. He wanted to know to what extent Tommy would go to ensure he had Alfie on a hook. To what lengths could Alfie push him before he snapped and showed any sign of opposition? He would revel in it, even if Tommy’s willingness to comply was encouraged by an axe hanging over his beloved’s head. 

“Everyone has a price, Alfie. Even your fragile loyalty.”

Alfie cupped Tommy’s bloody face and stroked it with his thumb. His selfishness lent credence to Henry's despicable words towards Tommy. But, good God, he’d go straight to Hell if it would stop him. He averted his gaze: “There’s indeed one thing…”

Quietly, Tommy led his hand towards his cheek and interlaced it with Alfie’s fingers. He winced when he turned on his side to face Alfie. Henry’s blows must have bruised his ribs. 

They were both breathing loudly to the rhythm of Alfie’s increasing heartbeat. Tommy grimaced again from pain when he wrapped the back of Alfie’s head with his right arm. He stared into Alfie’s eyes a second too long and kissed him open-mouthed. His arm clasped tighter around Alfie to draw him closer. Alfie was transfixed. He needed to see. He needed to gather proof this moment was real. His eyes were wide open when Tommy’s were tight shut. Tommy squeezed his hold on Alfie’s head and drew closer. He ached to feel it, even if it hurt, and yearned for Alfie to suffer the effects of his wrath. He took his time. It was so soft and passionate; it felt earnest—a truth offered on a silver plate.

Tommy pulled them apart and opened his eyes back. Alfie could only hope what he perceived—what Tommy allowed him to see—was sincere, even if it’d be more than he had the right to expect.

Pierced by a stab of hunger, Alfie moved nearer to Tommy to kiss him once more. Tommy backed off slightly and murmured: “Enough.”

Caught in his frenzy of Tommy allowing everything he desired, Alfie tried to draw closer again. Tommy stretched his arm holding Alfie’s hand, and kept him at a distance. Both of them strained on their arm. Tommy clenched his jaw to resist Alfie’s strength. 

 “Enough.” Tommy raised his voice.

As if a lightning bolt had struck him, Alfie’s arm loosened and folded on itself. Tommy’s liquefied over it to ensure Alfie couldn’t overpower him if he changed his mind. 

His gaze was one of a desperate wolf, ready to jump to its prey’s neck. This beast, which had learned the hard way to survive men like Alfie, scared him more than any other Tommy carried inside him. 

His stare was a challenge. A mortal one, to ask: who’s the prey now? He had the look of the Fallen Angel brewing a storm with a tear gathering at the corner of his eye.

Alfie pulled back to lie on his back, and Tommy did the same a few instants later. An awkward silence floated in the room. After calming his breath, Tommy suddenly rose to his feet.

*

Water poured forth from the tap of the bathroom. Tommy was scrubbing the dried blood off his face, hands, and under his nails with soap. When he stepped outside the bathroom, he carried two white washcloths and threw a wet one over Alfie’s face. 

“Fucking hell, mate, what was that for?” Alfie dragged the cold towel off his face.

"If we play by the rules of the market, consider this to be the first deposit of the transaction." Tommy wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Even if this natural gesture was uncalculated, it still hurt. “For your assistance to this successfully conducted first-degree murder.”

A remarkably high wave of shame engulfed Alfie and churned his guts. He hadn’t been seasick for days, but he wanted to throw up.

“The Irish dockworkers won’t give up their guns easily, though. We still have work to do.” Tommy was drying his face and hands with the washcloth as if nothing he said was abnormal. 

Alfie gave a little impulse to sit up and shake his musings with the damp cloth, but his bloody back snapped again. It would have barely looked like he had a spasm if it didn’t twist his face in agony. He’d live better with it if Tommy’s attentive gaze hadn’t caught it, but the faint smile at the corner of Tommy’s lips suggested it’d been enough. 

Alfie exhaled in defeat. “You heard. I couldn’t get the location out of him.”

"Pier 47. Thursday, 5 AM." 

“How the fuck do you know the pier, mate?” Alfie frowned.

“I reached my informants.” Tommy crossed the room to the wardrobe and picked up his immaculate coat from the hanging rack.

“Well, couldn’t have said that before, eh?”

“I said I didn’t trust you, Alfie.” Tommy slipped into his coat to uncover the carnage that was his shirt. “And wasn’t I right?”

The shame of his betrayal had now no equal to the guilt for his behaviour earlier. Regardless of whether it was unclear which event Tommy was referring to, he couldn’t help thinking Tommy wasn’t only alluding to his foreseeable betrayal. He’d always been the type to sow his seeds between the lines, and Alfie inherited the curse of the skilled harvester. 

“Who are your informants? Convenient you had some on this boat.”

Tommy puffed a mocking laugh through his nose and stepped forward. He hovered over Alfie with his severe, intent gaze. His feet framed Alfie’s face. He squatted to draw close to Alfie’s face: “I also place my eggs in several baskets, Alfie. I made calls before getting on this boat.” Tommy rose back to his feet and left the room.

Alfie had always prided himself on being a man of words. He was cracking smiles on the coldest faces, maintaining a convincing speech or sermon to the most inconvincible and snarking back as a sword cut through the air—vain but excitingly effective—a coquetry crafted for his very own pleasure. 

Yet, he was at a loss for words. The ground crumbled beneath him, and he got sucked up by the ocean. 

He’d been fucked big time.

Tommy had been curious as well. Curious to what extent Alfie was under his spell.

#peaky blinders #tommy shelby #tommy x alfie #alfie solomons #peaky blinders fic #writing #peaky blinders fanfic

[skarsgardwise]

Why do you love me? - "The Beginning" - Rafe Cameron Series

The first chapter is finally out! Please be understanding if I am not a quick updater and the chapters are not long. I am in college. Thank you.

Warnings?: Not really, but a good amount of swearing.

Anyways, happy reading and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

my love,

skarsgardwise

You might think that love is horseshit at first sight. That may not be the case. Your friends persuaded you to accompany them to the kook party. You really didn't want to go to the party, but you went to avoid hearing your friends complain. 

"I can't believe y/n is finally coming with us to the party!" exclaimed one of your friends. You scoffingly rolled your eyes at their remark. You are sorry for your decision. Deeply. What the fuck was I thinking… 

"For the record, I decided to leave so I wouldn't have to listen to your nonsense." You responded calmly to them. The oohs and aahs spread.

They laughed as you approached the house where the party is being held. As you entered the house, you could feel your anxiety rising. There were a lot of people dancing around with drinks in their hands. Your hands became clammy, and you wanted to get out of there. Lacy, your friend, could tell you were stressed. So she grabbed your hand and squeezed it tightly. 

"It smells like someone pissed in front of me." You gagged and began to wave the smell away from your face. Gosh, I hate this party already. You look around and notice teenagers high off the ledges. Not exactly your front. Particularly drugs. Lacy dragged you into the kitchen and poured you something. Nothing out of the ordinary. You looked disgusted as she handed you the drink she had made. 

"What the fuck is this Lacy?" you inquired, looking up to see her reaction. She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Oh my god, try it!" she exclaimed. You slowly brought the red cup to your lips and sipped it. The alcohol burns your throat and causes your eyes to tear. This shit is bad as fuck!! 

“No. Screw that. I'm going to get some water!" You yelled and threw away the cup. Lacy laughs at your remark and goes to get you a water bottle. "Here, you drama queen!" she exclaims, laughing at your solemn expression. 

"Why do you have to torture me? I do not deserve this treatment!" You quickly chug the entire water bottle. You crushed the bottle and threw it away as you finished. This party is whack anyways, I am going to leave. 

 You turned around to face Lacy once more. "I'm going to leave, Lacy. This party isn't working for me-" Because the person in front of you was not Lacy, you quickly closed your mouth. It was this handsome man who widened their eyes at your remark because no one ever said that their party wasn't doing enough for them. 

"I'm guessing you're not into parties?" he inquired, smirking at your surprised expression. 

“What? You got everything wrong! Haha…” You squeak out the response, trying to avoid his gaze. He grins at your remark and takes another drink.

"Certainly, sweetheart." He laughs and shakes his head as he walks away. Your heart leaps at the nickname, your eyes widen, and heat spreads throughout your entire body. Your gaze followed his form as he returned to his friend group and laughed at their jokes.

What the fuck happened? 

________________________________________________

So, this brief interaction between you and Rafe has resulted in a crush. You must be wondering if this bitch is for real right now. But, since that day, you've noticed him everywhere, as if he's doing it on purpose! 

You're at the gas station right now because it's scorching hot outside. Oh, how you long for a car instead of riding your bike everywhere. Total nonsense. As you walked to the back of the station, you noticed that the slurpy machines were unavailable.

"Aye, boss!" "Why aren't the slurpy machines working?" You yelled and turned around to see the manager roll his eyes at your remark.

"No, it's not working today!" It's not a big deal!" He responds angrily to your remark.

"It is not a big deal? "Are you high today?" You bite your lower lip as you approach the manager's counter. "It is not a big deal? You've got some balls to say that because you're working inside when it's as hot as a motherfucker. So, fix the machines!" As you stare at the old man, your chest quickly rises and falls because you are out of breath. 

When you respond, the manager's eyes widen and he tries to avoid eye contact. He frowns and mumbles something under his breath. "What was that?" you inquire, raising your eyebrows. "I said- I'll fix the machines after I finish this customer stuff," he said hoarsely.

"See, it wasn't that difficult. Was it?" You mock him and then apologize to the customer who had to witness this situation. Your eyes widen as you notice who the customer was, and a flush spreads across your cheeks. 

You got to be kidding me! 

Clearing your throat and noticing visible sweat forming on your brow. "Hello once more... I apologize for interfering with your order interaction." You stutter slowly and then lean forward, "This old man has been a pain in the ass lately," you say quickly. 

“Hey! I heard that!” 

"Are you sure?" you ask, looking behind you. "I noticed your hearing has been wacky lately." You deadpan and return your gaze to the handsome man. 

The man in front of you was laughing loudly and clutching his stomach at this point. He was trying to catch his breath. “Wow! "You're great!" he says, grinning at you and running his hands through his hair. 

"Hello, my name is Rafe. "Rafe Cameron," he says, raising his hand to shake your hand.

"Y/n. Y/n L/n," you say back and shake his hand. 

"It's a pleasure to meet you, L/n," he says with a smirk.

See you next chapter! (coming soon)

#rafe cameron #rafe x y/n #rafe x reader #rafe outer banks #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron fic #rafe obx #rafe cameron x you #obx series

[littleacebee]

Hello The Amelia Project fandom! I had a dream some time ago that TAP announced there will be new episode on 17th of march. Sadly for my prophetic career no episode today, but to make it somehow come to life I present you a very secret super special episode written by me. It started with comedic purpose only but got a little out of hand, I am sorry. Anyway enjoy!

Happy Ending (Possible future)

“…and that’s how it happened.” Kozlowski finished another story.

Jackie gasped in awe after sitting with open mouths for the last five minutes.

“I can’t believe you actually did this! And in eighteenth century?”

“Yeah, there’s no way it actually worked.” Mia stated with suspicion in her voice.

Kozlowski laughed seeing their disbelief. And to think he haven’t even get to the most unbelievable parts.

“Oh, but it did! And…” he stopped in the middle of the sentence hearing a familiar sound. He slowly looked up at the night sky.

“And? And what?” Jackie demanded the rest of the story. “What are you looking at?”

The two agents looked up too and they saw an airplane getting closer and preparing to land.

“Who the hell is flying out here?”

“A friend” Kozlowski answered and the smile showed up on his lips. This night just keeps getting better and better.

The three of them looked at silence at the landing plane while Haines and Cole hiding in the long grass argued quietly.

“And what now?” Cole asked trying to see a little bit more without revealing himself.

“Nothing. We wait and watch.” Haines answered dragging his partner down while he stretched his own head up to look at the plane.

“Let go of me. There’s a fucking plane with “a friend”. In what way do you think we will be able to follow them if they go into it?”

“There’s no way CIA will let him enter any plane. They might be lying and scheming bastards but they are not stupid. So we wait and watch.”

Cole wanted to say something more but the plane stopped not far away from the group, probably thanks to excellent pilot flying it, and a person walked out from the inside.

“Kozlowski, I swear, from all your crazy and unbelievable ideas, this one I hate the most!” The person shouted while getting closer.

“Oh, I thought you like outdoor storytelling.” Kozlowski said with wide smile on his face. “You always said you like stories told like this the most, Amelia.”

The both agents looked from the person to Kozlowski and back again in a pure shock.

“Wait, Amelia? The Amelia?” Mia said not fully comprehending what was happening while Jackie stood with her mouths wide open.

Their disbelief hold them back and Kozlowski did a few steps towards Amelia. They stood facing each other.

“It’s so good to see you. We started to get worried” Amelia rushed and hugged Kozlowski. Man reciprocated the gesture immediately. They stood like this for a moment embracing each other. And even if the time since they last saw each other haven’t been that long it still felt like eternity.

“I missed you, too.”

Amelia pulled back and looked carefully at the man trying to see if everything was alright. He was looking at her curiously as always with a little smile on his lips. His tattoos were creating unrecognizable patterns in the deem light, but they felt comfortably familiar. Seeing that at least at the first glance he looked fine, she said quickly:

“Let’s go. We have to join everyone.”

She already turned around and holding his arm firmly she took the first step towards the airplane. Kozlowski hesitated for a moment and looked back at the still shocked agents standing next to the fire. He did came here with a purpose after all.

“I haven’t finished telling them a story”

“Well, too bad. We are going to Paris. He needs you.” Amelia looked at him with serious expression on her face. She was always good at hiding her emotions if she wanted to but this time he saw a worry in her eyes. Way too much worry.

“How long it was?” He asked but he felt he already knew the answer.

“Too long” She answered. “We need to go. Now.”

Kozlowski didn’t argue further.

“I am terribly sorry but I am afraid this is a place we have to stop for now.” He said towards the agents and waved his hand goodbye. “I do really hope we will have a chance to finish it. It is a really good story.”

His words were everything two women needed to finally shake of their shock.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Mia exclaimed and both of them rushed towards pair already moving away. “You are not going anywhere. Neither of you are!”

Amelia and Kozlowski haven’t stopped or looked behind themselves.

“I am really sorry!” Kozlowski shouted once more. He really was. It really was a very good story and he was so excited to tell it.

“Stop! Both of you stop right now!”

“Stop right know or I will shoot you!” Mia remembering that she was after all CIA agent pointed her gun steadily at them.

Amelia and Kozlowski standing now two steps from the plane’s door stopped. Amelia turned around slowly with deep irritation on her face. She looked at both agents and smiled slowly. The smile looked quite unnerving in the weak light.

“Oh, you really thought that I came here unarmed and alone?”

Mia held her arms with a gun firmly pointed at the woman and her eyes for the first time did a quick scan of her and a airplane’s entry behind her. Jackie looked at her partner and also took a glance at the machine before them. Amelia’s smile grew.

“Behind you.”

Two agents didn’t even have time to turn around when needles pierced their necks and contents of mysterious syringes entered their bodies.

“What…? What’s…”

They stumbled, their bodies felt suddenly very heavy, their eyes couldn’t stay open. They would fall if not two people responsible for drugging them. Two men held them and gently laid them down.

“Everything according to the plan, boss.” Salvatore said looking up with a big smile.

“I still think that an explosion would be better.”

“I know, Joey, but we have to work quickly.” Amelia sighed feeling a fatigue of the last days. She took a deep breath and prepared for the last part. “Let’s go, there’s no time to waste.”

She and the boys moved towards the doors leaving drugged agents on the ground.

“And what about them?” Kozlowski asked kneeling next to women and checking their pulse.

Amelia didn’t looked at him knowing what’s about to happen. It always happened the same. She of course thought to prepare for this but she had hope it wouldn’t came to this.

“We have to hurry.”

“We can’t just leave two unconscious people here.” Kozlowski looked up at her. Amelia heard familiar note in his voice - the one that went along the most irresistible puppy eyes she has ever seen, even The Interviewer falls on the second place next to him. She stubbornly didn’t turn around but her resistance was melting.

“Kozlowski.”

“Amelia.”

Joey and Salvatore were looking at her expectantly. They also knew exactly what’s going to happen. Seeing her sigh deeply they went back to Kozlowski to pick up the agents.

“You are lucky there’s enough place in the plane.” She said finally looking at Kozlowski. “But you will have to keep them unconscious until we get to Paris and leave them next to embassy.”

Kozlowski smiled at her.

“Of course. Thank you.”

Amelia rolled her eyes trying to look annoyed by the whole thing but part of her missed Kozlowski’s gentleness.

“Just hurry up everyone.” She said entering the plane to get the machine started.

Kozlowski went after her followed by Joey and Salvatore carrying unconscious agents. In the grass a little further away two MI5 agents were getting up in a hurry and running towards them.

“Oh, they won’t enter the plane. They are not stupid.” Cole shouted sarcastically.

“How the hell was I supposed to see that coming?!” Haines answered bitterly trying to not fall. “And would you really preferred to be stabbed with syringe?”

Cole’s answer was drown out by the sound of engine. Any further arguing stopped and both of them run even faster. They barely managed to get to the plane in time. The doors were still open as Joey and Salvatore were putting women inside. Cole and Haines climbed inside breathing heavily.

“Oh god, we made it.” Haines said between one deep breath and the other.

“I can’t believe it.” Cole leaned against the wall on shaking legs.

They looked at themselves smiling widely. Finally the fortune was in their farvour. For once they ended up on the top. Oh, how they couldn’t wait to see Mia and Jackie’s faces when they will find out they saved them.

Their moment of victory was cut short by the sudden hit to their heads. Both of them fell unconscious to the ground.

“That will leave the mark.” Joey said standing next to their bodies with a wrench in his hand.

“Oh, definitely. They will wake up with same nice big bruises.” Salvatore stepped over Haines and closed the door. “Let’s put them with ladies agents”.

Far less gently they dragged man towards the seats already taken by unconscious Mia and Jackie. They strapped them down next to them and went to join Amelia and Kozlowski in the cockpit.

“Everything ready.” Joey informed. “And two men came so we punch them with wrenches and put them next to the women.”

“More people?” Amelia looked at Kozlowski with accusation. “Do we wait for anyone else or can we go on?”

Kozlowski send her an apologetic smile.

“For my defense I don’t know who they are. But I did have a feeling someone was following us.”

Amelia sighed. Their plan always had to go at least a little bit sideways, she shouldn’t be surprised at this point.

With four more people than originally planned the plane finally took off from Scottish hill and was flying to Paris. Joey and Salvatore after checking once on their additional passengers quickly fell asleep in their seats. Amelia, despite nerves and tiredness, flew perfectly as always. After a while he looked at Kozlowski to check if he was sleeping too. Man’s eyes were wide open and focused on some point in time and space Amelia knew she will never see. As if he felt woman’s gaze on him, Kozlowski returned from whenever or wherever he was and looked at her.

“So Paris?” He asked looking through the window. “Oh, it was a while since I was there.”

“For now at least. We have to lay low for a moment and we can as well do it there. And he has Les Deux Magots close so you won’t believe how much we will save on cocoa delivery.”

Kozlowski laughed and for a moment Amelia thought that everything was alright, that they were just on normal disappearance, just another job. But then she remembered that cocoa didn’t matter anymore as he couldn’t even taste it.

“Well, and how have you been?” She asked hoping to get her mind of whatever was now happening in Paris.

“I had a very nice nap and woke up at MI5. I had chance to talk with some interesting people. I had a lovely trip to Kent and then to Scotland. And finally I started telling the most interesting story I have to tell and got bravely rescued by an old friend.” Kozlowski talked with his typical small smile. “I really can’t complain about this last days. They surely were very interesting. But what I find the most interesting now is how did you find me?”

He looked back at Amelia who was focused on piloting the plane. He saw a proud smile forming on her lips.

“Joey and Salvatore kept an eye on you for a while. They lost you when you left London but thankfully they found our new number soon. They called and told me what happened and I instantly knew where you were going. So we planned a little rescue and he we are.”

“Sadly without any explosions.” Kozlowski said thinking about Joey’s earlier comment and Amelia chuckled. “It’s not exactly as flashy rescue as I would expect from him.”

He knew he shouldn’t say last sentence when he saw as Amelia tensed immediately.

“He doesn’t know.” She said in a quiet voice. “I didn’t… I didn’t want to give him false hope in case we wouldn’t find you.”

Kozlowski didn’t said anything in response and the silence fell in the cockpit for a long moment. Kozlowski thought about his friend and Amelia tried to think about literally anything else.

“I don’t have Patience with me, Amelia.” He said after a while and his voice sounded suddenly very tired.

“I thought this might happen.” She responded and gave him a quick look. “That’s way I stopped on my way here in London. All of your equipment is in the back.”

“Ah, our Amelia, resourceful and prepared as always.” Kozlowski got up from his seat with new found energy. “Excuse me, but I have work to do.”

He left the cockpit and Amelia looked forward with new hope. Everything was going according to plan. Now he only have to wait until they arrive.

Two hours later two people were waiting for a sunrise in Montmartre cemetery. Alvina put her head on The Interviewer’s shoulder. He just finished telling her another story taking them back to tenth century and now they were sitting together in comfortable silence looking at morning sky.

Alvina tried so hard not to think about how his voice became a little weaker in the past hour or about the fact that Amelia still didn’t give any sign since she told her on the side that she’s working on a solution and Alvina just have to take care of him for a few hours.

Their peaceful moment was interrupted by a ringtone.

“I am sorry.” Alvina rushed to take her phone from under the blanket. “Oh, it’s Amelia. I should take it.”

She got up and answered the phone. After a moment she gave a quick sign to The Interviewer and walked few steps behind the bench.

“Hurry up or you will miss it.” He said after her. He didn’t add that he didn’t want to see his possible last sunrise alone.

After the moment he heard steps getting closer again.

“Come on, the most beautiful part will be in a moment.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t want to miss it.” The voice that answered him did not belong to Alvina.

He smiled and took the blanket up so Kozlowski could sit next to him. He then put blanket down again on their laps.

“It’s good to see you again.” He said quietly looking at the sky in front of him. “I think it might be a very nice day, don’t you think?”

“I am quite positive about it. The sunrise promises to be beautiful, we are all here together, Amelia even let Joey and Salvatore make a small explosion in the evening.” The Interviewer laughed shortly hearing the last part. “And to make all of it even better, I brought you cocoa.”

He looked at his friend for the first time. Kozlowski was already watching him carefully. He saw worry in his eyes, the same one he was seeing for the last few days in Amelia and Alvina. But this time it hit him a little bit harder, because for the first time in a very long time he saw in those gentle eyes fear. He thought about the people who surrendered him, how much he missed them for the last few days, how heartbreaking it was to see their worry.

Kozlowski held out hand with a thermos towards him. His could see a silent plea in his eyes. He slowly took the bottle from him and opened it up. The sweet smell of cocoa surrounded him and he couldn’t held back a delighted sigh. He looked up once more at Kozlowski who smiled lightly.

“There are so many more stories to listen, don’t you think?” Kozlowski said without breaking eye contact.

Stories, yes, there were so many still waiting for them. And there were also people waiting and worrying for him. There were so much out there for him, always so much. Everything was still in front of him, still waiting and he was tired. He was so tired of all these years spent reaching out. But that was a purpose, wasn’t it? That’s what he decided he wanted to do, all these millennia ago, that’s what he wished for - for a chance to reach and take and search and try. And like Kozlowski said there was still so much before him.

He took a sip of hot cocoa and felt the delicious chocolate taste on his tongue. Oh, how much he missed it. He felt the warm fuzzy feeling spreading through his body. He sighed with content and took another sip.

“I am glad you like it. I was worry I got out of practice of making cocoa on the plane.” Kozlowski commented with a smile in his voice and finally leaned against back of the bench, relaxed.

“Oh, it’s perfect. I would be truly devastated if after all this years you wouldn’t be able to make a perfect cocoa anywhere.” He said between sips. “And thank you.”

“Always, Arthur.”

He smiled softly.

They both looked at the morning sky full of blues, oranges, pinks. They saw how it got brighter and brighter. Oh, yes, it definitely will be a very nice day.

Few hours later four unconscious people started to move and wake up. Cole and Haines released very late groans of pain and touched big purple bruises on their heads.

“Oh god, I fell like someone hit me with a hammer.” Cole whined.

“Or a wrench.” Haines added with similar weak voice.

In front of them Mia and Jackie were trying to get used to sudden light.

“That’s the worst hungover I had ever have.” Jackie didn’t know if holding her hand in front of her eyes was making things better or worse.

“Yeah, I feel like I am about to puke.” Mia leaned forward and put her forehead on the table in front of her.

After a few minutes spent on various whining, groaning and sharing all feelings of pain they could think of they finally looked around. They were seated at the table outside the café. They looked at the people at the tables next to them and other buildings on the street.

“We are in France, aren’t we?” Jackie said when she couldn’t think about any other reason for french words everywhere and French language she heard.

Resigned silence of her companions was her only answer.

“Oh god, I don’t even want to think how we will explain it to Northcott.” Haines felt a completely new headache that didn’t have anything to do with a hit.

“Don’t even remind me about that. I am definitely not looking forward telling Kennedy we got drugged in the middle of Scottish field and ended up in Paris after losing Kozlowski.” Mia felt the nausea coming back.

MI5 agent thought briefly about saying something about the fact that maybe if they didn’t lied to them all of them would be in completely different situations right now but neither of them had a strength to argue.

“So what’s now?“ Cole sighed. „Time for the trip to embassy?”

All of them groaned in response - both at the prospect of calling anyone and telling what happened as well as just getting up and walking anywhere.

“Bonjour” waiter came to their table. “Can we bring your order or do you need a little bit more time?”

The four looked at each other with confusion.

“Sure, why not?” Jackie answered feeling her stomach growl.

After a brief moment waiter came back with a four steaming cups of cocoa and a small piece of paper with a phoenix on it. Mia took it in her hands and read the words on the back.

„I hope you will have a nice day.”

They all looked at each other and then at the steaming cups in front of them.

„I mean…” Cole started hesitantly after seeing Les Deux Magots written on the cup. „Why not?”

As no one else have any better idea or even didn’t want to have any better idea, they reached for the cups. Moment later the previous groans of pain were replaced by sighs of pleasure.

#spoilers for all episodes i guess #it is a real episode guys not self indulgent fanfic #it’s totally going to happen #the amelia project fic #the amelia project #haines and cole go to les deux magots propaganda #littleacebee writes

[bulletproofscales]

Hi there! Can you do a Namjoon + Jin fic where Namjoon thinks he's straight until he meets Jin and falls in love?

hiii!! so given that this is mroe of a vague request i took some liberties in the writting and tried something new with the plot!! i hope you enjoy!

tags: hurt/comfort ,  internalized homophobia , anxiety , self discovery , namjoon token straight , gay club , making out , dry humping (sfw) , public space (sfw) , late talks , chubby seokjin bc i can , side jihopekook 

5.6k words

link to ao3!!

Namjoon isn’t uncomfortable, really! He isn’t…. But he can acknowledge he isn’t really in his element right now. 

Well…he is the straigth man at a gay bar; he knows he isn’t the target audience. And Namjoon is okay with that!

He is just here to be of moral support to Jimin and Hoseok, who usually come here by themselves. But tonight came with the specific purpose of “getting dicked down”, their words. And they were crazy to think Namjoon wasn’t going to come and make sure they had a safe night. 

So yeah… it was his idea to come, sexuality isn’t going to stop him from making sure neither of his friends gets dragged away by some creep. And he is trying hard to use that as a way to not regret this moral choice. In the end, no matter how hard he tries to fool himself, sitting at a stool at the bar of an LGBTQ club, isn’t really his image of an ideal saturday night. 

The drinks are good at least, and it's been about two hours without anyone approaching him fortunately. Jimin and Hoseok would’ve whined to him about that in the past, now they know better than to push. 

Namjoon is not closed minded, being probably one of the only cishet person in his friend group. Of course he’s… pondered. Considered… he even tried. 

Yeah… The big elephant in the room. Being here definitely isn’t keeping memories of it at bay. Right now, he feels pretty similar to how he felt those 2 months he lasted with his boyfriend. 

Tense, apprehensive, and like he’s somewhere he isn’t supposed to. 

It won’t be long until Jimin or Hoseok come to where he decidedly sat at the beginning of the night, and tell him they’re good to go. And he’ll be able to leave, and stop thinking about how undeserving he is of being here. 

When a hand settled between his shoulder blades, it felt too big to be Jimin’s, too knobbly to be Hoseok’s. He is already frowning as he turns over his shoulder to look, Namjoon’s expression softens when he gets a sight of the man. 

Maybe it was the gentle angling of his face, or the long straight slope of his nose, or the careful curve of his eyes seemingly traced by an artist, darkest paint used for his irises. His lips too, beautifully plump, their pink tint visible even under the club’s lighting, the tender line of his upper lips making him seem like he’s already smiling. 

Maybe, it's the daiquiri.

“Hey…” The man says easily, like he doesn’t even have to strain his voice to make himself be heard above the loud music and chatter. Namjoon can notice the way the stranger’s eyes widen a little in interest at the sight of him; smile growing confidently on his face. 

“Did you come by yourself?” It's only when he steps closer to the bar, and therefore, to Namjoon, that he gets to appreciate the sweet tone of his voice. His hand moving from the center of Namjoon’s back to wrap gently around the base of his nape. 

He can’t help but delay his answer, eyes still taking their time looking over the stranger’s face. His touches unprovoked but… then again, this is a gay bar that he is in. The angelic stranger isn’t wrong for assuming…

“I uh—I came with my friends…” Namjoon musters up a smile, nervous, tense, but a smile. He didn’t notice how trapped he had been in his own head the entire time here; clinging to this interaction in any way to distract himself. “They’re lost somewhere on the dance floor.” He even chuckles weakly as he says it. 

The stranger’s eyes glint. Properly leaning against the bar, elbow set on it, properly facing him. That easy smile still on his face, lurring Namjoon in. 

“What's your name?” For better or for worse… He doesn’t seem to be phased by Namjoon’s awkward silent batches. Tilting his head as if amused by the sight of a slightly tipsy awkward man trying to make his way through a conversation. 

“Namjoon…” He sighs it out, as if his voice wasn’t straining anymore either. As if the ease of the stranger became contagious. “Yours?”

“I’m Seokjin. My friend is also somewhere on the dance floor.” The stranger, Seokjin, chuckles as he says it. In the back of his head, there’s a voice telling Namjoon that he knows what Seokjin is here for, that he knows it's something he can’t offer. 

Selfishly, he tries to enjoy the curve of Seokjin’s smile for a little longer. 

“And I’m not much of a dancer.” Seokjin adds, his fingers beginning to rub the very edge of Namjoon’s buzzcut. He can feel his own breath stutter. 

“I somehow befriended two dance majors.” It's not just his voice that isn’t straining, it feels as if the whole club is quieting down around them. Namjoon chuckles softly; it feels like even Seokjin might be able to hear. “There's no way I'm going there.” 

It isn’t the full truth of why he is recluding himself. But the small fit of laughter he manages to coax from Seokjin’s chest and the gentle rubbing of his nape, is enough to keep Namjoon buzzing closer. Seemingly entransed. 

“We’ll have to find a way to keep busy while they’re there…”  He feels it, the gentle tugging of Seokjin's hand, subtly pulling him closer. It's faint enough that… if he wanted, Namjoon could hold himself in place. His grip of his nape so light he could probably take Seokjin’s wrist and move his hand away. 

But he doesn’t, he leans closer the way Seokjin wants him too. It's so easy to crowd his space against the bar; the slight widening of his smile enough of a reward for Namjoon. His features are so much more hypnotizing from up close. Only mustering to nod at Seokjin’s propositions at a loss of words. 

“You’d like that?” He adds, probably because of the lack of confirmation for Namjoon. Checking in… If he wanted to reject Seokjin, it should be now. 

It has to be now. 

“Yeah…Yeah I-I would.” It's only now he realizes, Namjoon never stopped leaning in, and Seokjin never pushed him away. Their noses close to brushing, breaths beginning to mix. 

Close to the point he can smell a bit of the drink Seokjin probably had earlier too; even if he handles being tipsy a lot better than Namjoon seems to be handling it. Letting himself get lost in the rhythmic caressing of his neck, in the way Seokjin licks his lips, smile widening at his response. 

And he doesn’t give Namjoon time to question himself. No time to fear or doubt. Because Seokjin closes the gap between them, slotting their lips gently. Even softer than he could have ever imagined just from looking; no matter how close. 

It can’t compare to the feeling of Seokjin’s other hand caressing up Namjoon’s arm, following the bulging of his muscles up to his shoulder; just to meet the fingers still rubbing at the short hairs of his nape. Or to the way he angles his head to deepen the kiss, Namjoon’s rhythm sloppy as he follows; it's been so long. Tongues meeting seamlessly, slow and unhurried.

He can feel Seokjin begin to separate. But after that first taste, Namjoon’s body acts on its own, reaching for the softness of Seokjin’s waist tugging him back in; this time with more intent. Feeling pride bloom in his chest when his actions coax a surprised noise out of Seokjin's lips, one that he gets to muffle and swallow down; not even audible within the loud club, but felt through the vibrations of his lips moving against Namjoon’s. Big hands squeezing where he holds Seokjin against the bar in response. 

His body buzzing with something he can’t put the name on, of having such a gorgeous man bend to his touch; as he stands up to crowd Seokjin’s space even more. Feeling the way his arms properly link over Namjoon’s shoulders in invitation as he stands up, their height is not that far off. But it lets his actions run looser, feeling perfectly out of control. 

Namjoon realizes afterwards that he is humming back into Seokjin’s mouth, low and vibrating in his chest. His body acting on its own, seamless as it reacts to the feeling of Seokjin’s soft torso against his; legs slotting in between one another as the space between their bodies ever smaller. He can feel his hands becoming restless, caressing up and down Seokjin’s plump sides; limbs becoming clumsy with desperation. As if, unable to figure out his body in the dark club, Namjoon was trying to memorize the feel of it with his hands. Groping into the pliant fat when he found Seokjin’s hips or fingers sinking in between the small rolls that stacked up his waist.

Only noticing his hums turning into downright moans from the little noise that slips out when Seokjin finally separates their lips. 

“L–let's go…” His voice sounds breathless, his lips redder and a bit more swollen. As he tries to gently guide Namjoon away from the bar, shoving him back carefully It feels like Seokjin is the one towering over him this time, as he obediently follows the man’s guidance; it's so quick he doesn’t get to ponder where they're going before Seokjin is shoving them into a bathroom stall; world blurring around him only able to stare back at the man with widened awe. 

And if Namjoon had felt desperate back at the bar, nothing could’ve prepared him for the way Seokjin pounces to kiss him. Hand cupping at either side of his strong neck; strong enough to send Namjoon to sit onto the (thankfully) closed toilet lid. Seokjin follows right to settle on top, on his lap; ample thighs spreading when they settle on top of Namjoon. At the shocking moment his hands instinctively go to Seokjin’s hips, holding him in place as their lips meet fervent and ravenous. The noise of the club muffled to the point they can actually hear each other's noises now. 

His melodic mewls into the kiss are making Namjoon’s brain swim in pleasure, letting his hands knead at his full hips. Before they continue to wander, slipping to wrap across Seokjin’s back, slipping lower to meet the curve of his ass. Maybe it's the smell of alcohol, cheap cleaning products, smoke, and sweat; but that floaty sensation in his mind is turning into a feeling of lightheadedness.

A feeling he welcomes, Namjoon doesn’t remember a time he ever felt this loosened, this relaxed. Actions seemingly flowing without consequence of his psyche. He gropes into the fat of Seokjin’s ass, moaning at the feeling of his fingers sinking in. Though he coaxes another pleasured groan out of Namjoon, when he grinds his hips at the motion. Sliding his ass across his lap; feeling the friction of their crotches in the smooth grinding of Seokjin’s pelvis. 

It's like everything stills for Namjoon then. 

At the throbbing of his dick against Seokjin, at the clutching of his own stomach in something he can only recognize as distaste. At the realization of what he is doing, and who he is doing it with. 

Something he isn’t supposed to, with someone he isn’t supposed to. 

The clutching turns to twisting, the twisting turns to the numbness and tingling spreading across his hands, making them shaky and painful. Trembling as he lets go of where his grip was keeping Seokjin close, or now, guiding the movement of Seokjin’s hips. 

He really didn’t mean to be a brute when Namjoon holds his shoulders and pulls him back, forcing them to separate. Gasping for air, heart thrumming in his chest threatening to push out. Namjoon didn’t realize when exactly was it that he stopped focusing on breathing. Right now, it's insane to believe there was a moment of the night where he wasn’t focused on it at all.

“Namjoon?” His eyes had been unfocused, staring at a random spot in Seokjin’s chest. Though the sweet tone of his voice makes his head snap out. He must truly look insane, if the way Seokjin widens is anything to judge by. “Are you okay?” 

He doesn’t know, it felt so maddeningly liberating but getting threateningly close to vertigo. Terrifying and unhinged and uncontrolled in a way that isn’t what Namjoon is. 

How did he manage to fuck up twice? 

“I–I should–I should go.” His voice sounds cracked as he tries to leave from the stall, to push Seokjin's weight off his lap. And he does, he is compliant, letting Namjoon push him away as much as he needs. He even lets Namjoon storm out of the stall, ungracefully. Not nearly as drunk but dizzy nonetheless. The stench of the bathroom feels as though it was sinking to his skin, making him reek. Making him grotesque. He stands there only for a second before realizing his lungs won't struggle any less if he stays here, suffocating in the stuffed bathroom. 

Namjoon doesn’t turn back to see Seokjin’s reaction, the guilt and terror overwhelming him too much to even bare think about it. His body is on autopilot as it stumbles through the mass of people, not caring to find Hoseok or Jimin; he’ll text them later. Once he is out, once he can breathe past the smog of sweat and smoke again. 

The bouncers are looking at him a bit suspiciously for the way he stumbles and pushes his way out of the bustling club. But it's worth it for the mouthful of fresh air he gets to inhale afterwards. It fills his lungs and makes him cold from the inside out. His clothes pressed snug and wet against his body from the sweat, Jimin and Hoseok did tell him he was using too many layers. His hands are cold with chilling sweat as he runs his fingers through his buzz cut; letting his nails dig in a little bit and drag him back to reality. 

Relief lasts only for a second, his mind gaining lucidity as it realizes what he’s done, again. 

He makes himself sick with his own sense of entitlement, the one that leads him to situations like these, of leading innocent men on. Disgusted with his ability to toy with them so easily. Somehow always realizing a little too late, when he can’t turn back without hurting, that this isn’t who he is. 

It feels as though Namjoon can’t help himself. Like he is always waiting to take as much as he can, even when he knows he will eventually have to let go, to stop pretending. Procrastinating from the inevitable parting that will have to happen; but postponing it as much as possible. 

A hand that's too big to be Jimin’s and too knobbly to be Hoseok’s taps his shoulder unsurely. He turns and still manages to be surprised to find Seokjin standing right in front of him. Phone and ID in hand. 

“It must’ve fallen out of your pocket when you rushed off.” His tone isn’t accusatory, but Namjoon still shrinks under the guilt taking them from him. 

“Thank you… You could’ve just given it to the staff.” A nervous but thankful smile grows on his face, though he can’t dare to look Seokjin in the eye.Instead focusing on the jacket he either didn’t notice he had on the entire time they met, or Seokjin just didn’t have on until now.

“I know, but I needed an excuse to come check on you…” It's the equally timid and slightly guilty tone of Seokjin’s voice that makes Namjoon’s gaze snap up to meet his eyes. “Are you…alright? Was it too much?” Thick eyebrows don’t look nearly as cunning as he remembers them with how they scrunch up in worry. The contrast leaves Namjoon a little speechless, along with the words coming out of Seokjin’s mouth right after. 

“I shouldn’t have pushed too much without asking, I’m really so sorry Namjoon-ah.”

It's the ridiculousness of that statement, how far off Seokjin is from the actual truth that pushes Namjoon to stop being a coward and explain himself. The first person to hear of him and his sexuality being a complete stranger. 

“No!” He reassures at first, a little too loudly, hands even reaching for Seokjin before quickly retreating back to curl at his sides. “No you… You did nothing wrong I promise.” That first part is easy, it's what comes next that's dreadful. 

Much like spending the night at a random bar by himself for the sake of his friends, opening up about things he’s worked his ass off to repress also isn’t Namjoon’s ideal image of a saturday night. Yet Seokjin looks at him not like he is waiting for an explanation, but worried for Namjoon’s trembly state.

“I’m straight.” He explains, the way he has actually practiced to say before coming to the club; preparing in case anyone approached him. Sighing out with an apologetic tone clinging to his voice, guilt trickling evident in his face. And that would be enough, if he actually managed to say it before anything happened. 

Now… after the way he treated Seokjin, it's not nearly enough. 

“I–I really just came here for my friends… I didn’t plan on-one meeting anyone.” Seokjin’s expression is stoic and suddenly unreadable. Scarce of the charm that made his intentions with Namjoon so obvious when they first met, and making him unreadable. So he continues. “I dont–I dont know why I didn’t tell you or why I didn’t stop y-you but I–I can’t I’m sorry… I’m really really sorry…” His hands move frantically in front of him as if to make a better excuse for himself. 

“Okay…” He sounds like he is processing the amount of words just dumped on him. “Well… Here’s your phone and your ID…” Namjoon had been so focused in keeping his own eyes on him, that only now he notices Seokjin’s eyes avoiding him. Rather staring down at their hands as Namjoon’s belongings are given back. “Maybe buy a jacket with pockets that have a zipper.” Seokjin tries to chuckle, but it's toned down. 

Namjoon takes the harrowing guilt with open arms, feeling his heart sink at the other’s mannerisms. He nods instead, quickly as if he was being scolded. “Yeah... Yeah thank you, again.” He puts them back in his jackets. Using that moment as an excuse to look away, to give Seokjin those few seconds to back away and go back in the club; if his night hasn’t been completely ruined by Namjoon yet. 

But when he looks back, Seokjin is still there. 

“I might just keep you company until you settle a little bit… You’re still shaking.” He can tell he is trying to make it sound lighthearted when he breaks the silence. Though Namjoon can only stare at himself  a bit in awe at the fact that yes, his hands still tremble even as they stay a bit in front of Seokjin. 

Huh.

He nods before he can get his lips to formulate the short and awkward: “You don’t have to…” Seokjin begins to guide them away from the club entrance. And when he sits on the curb, he looks up at Namjoon expectantly. Making his complaints die in his mouth, as he wordlessly follows sitting down next to Seokjin. 

“I don't feel like going back in anyways.”  His eyes are immediately directed away from Namjoon once he takes seat. Maybe the dim streetlight and blue neon sign of the club are fooling him, but he could swear Seokjin’s cheeks had a slightly reddened tint. 

“Ouch.” The nervous chuckle is telling of how uneasy he still is with Seokjin’s company. 

“You deserved that.” At least this time he side-eyes Namjoon to tell him, the joke still holding too much truth to be properly funny. He still takes it as a win. “You weren’t the only one going out of their ‘comfort zone’.” His sentence finishes with a humorless snort. 

It stuns Namjoon because… As deserving as he is of it, this is the first time getting this type of backlash. Hoseok and Jimin all too kind of the confused mess he was after the breakup. And his ex all too devastated, and Namjoon too much of a coward to give him the time to voice out his hurt before leaving. It feels… chilling. 

Seokjin sounds as frustrated as Namjoon feels. 

“That's the thing, it's not out of my comfort zone.” His voice trembles as he says it, even if it comes out as strong with exasperation. “It doesn’t feel out of my comfort zone when it's happening.” Namjoon can hear his heart pounding out of his chest, frantic and spastic; drowning out the revealing confessions coming out of his mouth. But Seokjin didn’t stop him; and much like it happened before: Namjoon couldn’t stop. 

“As soon as I start thinking it stops feeling right. Because I know that what I’m doing is wrong!” His voice gets stronger, the anger and resentment he has hoarded for himself making his voice strain with irritation. 

“Being with men is wrong?” Seokjin interjects, his raised eyebrow only making Namjoon widen and snap out of his rage fit. 

“No! Just… Toying with them like this and leading them on, when I know I’m straight!” It comes out as a whine. Turning to Seokjin with pleading eyes, advice, a slap to the face, anything. 

But Seokjin gives him nothing of that, just a puzzled look. “If the guy is enjoying it, and it doesn’t feel wrong to you… Why is it wrong?” He sounds so genuinely puzzled over a question that sounds so simple. So simple it's something Namjoon’s anxiety ridden brain had gone completely over.

The confusion in Seokjin’s eyes is contagious. As Namjoon feels his own rage sizzle out, frowning to himself as if to think what he could possibly tell Seokjin to explain himself.

Instead, this is what comes out.

“B–because I’m straight…” The conviction tries to be so strong in his voice; but it fails miserably. 

And the unconvinced silence that comes after only makes Namjoon’s wavering uncomfortably evident. 

“Did you ever give yourself more than 2 minutes to prove otherwise?” There's a mocking chuckle coming out of Seokjin's (infuriatingly) plump lips; clear to reference what happened inside the club a few minutes ago. But right now, mockery isn’t what Namjoon needs. He can feel the way his own expression dies out into something defensive, and angered. 

“I gave it 2 months. Is that enough?” Namjoon doesn't yell, but his shielding sarcasm is blatant. His tone venomous, as he stares at Seokjin probably ragefully, and Seokjin simply stares wordlessly with wide eyes. 

His lips begin to move to respond. But two palms, that Namjoon does recognize as the smallness of Jimin’s and the daintiness of Hoseok’s, slam against his back. 

“We’ve been looking all over for you!” Jimin’s tone is worried and he is still yelling as if he was inside the club. 

“Pick up your damn phone for once, Joon-ah!” The whine comes from Hoseok, at his other side, cheeks flushed red. “We are going back to ours.” 

“With him.” Jimin giggles pointing back, and all four of them turn to see a random chubby guy that, if Namjoon's deductions are correct, refused to follow Jimin and Hoseok to talk to a group of random people. 

“That's Jungkook.” Surprisingly it's Seokjin that speaks. “He came with me, he is innocent.” He deadpans, and it seems enough for both of Namjoon’s (probably tipsy) friends, as they nod and rush back to ‘Jungkook’. 

“We’ll return him in the morning.” Hoseok smiles one last time before walking off tugging Jungkook to a cab. Leaving Seokjin and Namjoon to follow them with their eyes, and… inevitably leaving them alone…. after Namjoon’s little outburst. 

“So… wanna get ice cream?” The casual tone of his voice is unbothered enough to actually startle Namjoon. Completely unaffected by the obvious awkwardness between them. 

And despite everything… “You’ll have to pay for the uber there.” 

“I was designated driver for the night.” He is smiling smugly as he says it. But all Namjoon can think of is the confirmation that Seokjin must’ve been sober the entire time of his advances; warmth blooming in his stomach at the thought. “You can tell me all about those 2 months.” The domesticity of his tone stops sounding tonedeaf to the awkwardness, and it turns into… actual friendly interest. 

“Al-Alright.” He nods, lifting himself up from the curb and offering his hand up to Seokjin, who takes it. Huffing a little as he stands up as well. 

The walk to Seokjin’s car is bizarre, it feels like it should be uncomfortable, yet Seokjin’s demeanor looks completely unaffected: his walk relaxed as he pulls his car keys. Old looking, with a cartoon character Namjoon doesn’t recognize hanging from the rearview mirror. 

The need to fill out the silence isn’t suffocating as Namjoon would have anticipated, but he asks anyway. “What ice cream shops are open at 3 am in the morning?” 

“Oh, there aren’t any, we are just going to McDonalds.” He snorts and begins to drive with ease through the empty streets, soulless techno music playing through the speakers. Music that gives Namjoon all the time in the world to think about the situation he is in right now… in a random stranger he failed to hook up with, going out for dessert… and probably confess all his deepest feelings to. 

He should definitely feel more out of place than he does right now. The trip to McDonald’s isn’t long enough to let him force himself into feeling anxious. Because seemingly suddenly, Seokjin is going around to the drive through. 

“Good evening, I’m going to have an m&m McFlurry with chocolate sauce and…” He turns to Namjoon then, wordlessly. 

“Mixed vanilla and chocolate cone.”

“And a mixed vanilla and chocolate cone. Thank you!” His tone definitely sounds cheerful for any 3 am customers, handing the two ice creams to Namjoon as he parks in one of the many empty spots. Immediately taking the McFlurry from his hands and digging in. “I definitely needed something sweet to finish the night off…” Seokjin’s voice sounds muffled from the eating. But he is met with silence, Namjoon just staring at him; like it was just now dawning on him that he is talking with a random stranger. 

As if he was reading his mind, Seokjin adds. “You know you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, right?” There's a worried smile on his face, plump cheeks making the curve of his smile slightly overlap at the end. A detail Namjoon only would have been able to tell under the neon yellow of the McDonald’s sign. 

And of course he knows…

“I do want to, it's just… not one of my most noble and great moments.” Namjoon tries to smile and lighten the heaviness in his chest from the guilt. The memory alone is still vivid and jarring in his conscience. 

“You were making out with the hottest guy you’ll ever get and you ran away… I’d say I’ve seen you do worse.” His tone has no malice, joking innocently before his expression softens. “Tell me.” Gentleness evident in his voice, lurring Namjoon in such a different way than he did back at the bar. 

“I already hurt someone before, just like this.” The first words are the hardest to slip out, but he sees the way Seokjin is giving Namjoon (undeservedly) his entire attention. “He was in our friend group and we were especially close and you know… All my friends are gay so I was always open to you know… the possibility.” His voice dies down once he feels himself getting too carried away. 

“You were open to a guy coming in and sweeping you away.” Seokjin adds once he notices the growing timidness.  

“Yeah...” “Did he do that?” His voice is much more careful when he comments this time.

And Namjoon is more careful with his answer as well. 

“Kayee… was really good to me.” He can’t help the way his own tone becomes tender at the mention of his name. “And I felt like I could be myself around him, we got each other, you know?”  Namjoon’s eyes had settled for his own lap, but when he looks up Seokjin was nodding. 

“He wasn’t straight?”

“Openly pan, and I didn’t think twice about it until I started doubting my own feelings for him.” He feels his mouth run dry, and takes a break licking into his cone. “I mean… we were so close, what else could it have been?” His eyes are looking at Seokjin like he is genuinely looking for an answer. And before he tries to fumble out an answer, Namjoon soothes him by continuing himself. 

“Looking back at it, it feels like it could’ve been so good. But as soon as it started I couldn't enjoy any moment of it.” It's hard to hide himself and how frustrated he feels. “It was my first relationship with a man so I figured I just… had to get used to it.” 

“Did you feel bad from the get go?” When Namjoon nods, licking his ice cream, he asks. “Did you tell him?” And when a sigh is the automatic response that the question evokes out of Namjoon, he knows he has a lot to unpack. 

“He was the first one to confess, which I thought of like…a sign that this thing could work…. That we could work.” His eyes can’t look at Seokjin’s now. “So I didn’t want to make him feel like I was unsure, or like I was having doubts from the start.” 

“So you just waited it out?” The gentle tone of his voice is shocking enough it makes him look up at Seokjin.

A sad smile spreads on his face. “Tried to.” 

“Two months is already too long of a time to be stuck in a cycle like that… And what happened?”

That's the worst part, the one he is ashamed about the most. 

“I didn’t even have it in me to break up with him, even when I knew I wasn't happy. Or even acting happy enough to convince him…” There's a small victory in the fact he can at least keep eye contact as he says it. 

“I was too much of a coward to even break up with him, Seokjin. He had to do it, and I got to play dumb and detached the entire time. Just hurting him as he tried to salvage us!”

Namjoon realizes a little too late how worked up he was. Yelling over something he has no right to feel angered over. He cuts himself off, seemingly shrinking into the old passenger seat. 

“You look like you’re about to apologize, don’t.” He didn’t even get to open his lips again before being shut up. “I asked, didn't I?”

“You did…” 

“So you won’t.” “I won’t apologize.” 

It feels like he's done the first right thing of the night when Seokjin beams at his response, eyes lightening up and beautiful lips curling to a smile. 

“Don’t look so proud, I didn’t achieve anything.” There's a joking tone to Namjoon’s voice, but his smile is genuine, a little taken aback by the warmth from the other’s face. 

“Well… I can’t tell you if you're straight or not, Namjoon-ah.” He chuckles, discarding the last of his ice cream; having had all the time to finish while the other vented. “If that's what you're implying.” Seokjin gives him a side eye before continuing.

“But… If you’re honest to someone upfront, I think they wouldn't have any problems just testing things out…” Suddenly he isn’t looking at him as he finishes that sentence, shrugging it off. 

His jaw drops for a second, before he can properly let out a wheezing laugh. Making him fold over himself against the deck fo the car, hand slamming against it, while the other has to focus on not crashing the melting abandoned ice cream cone. 

“After everything, I’ve told you! You want to date me, you just said that!” He is still wheezing, probably too loud for anyone sober to endure at the prime hour of 4:03 am. But he can’t hold back, scratchy but squeaky laugh echoing in the car. 

“Stop painting me like I have bad taste, and stop putting words in my mouth!” Seokjin is showing at his shoulder in a  failed attempt to make him budge; yelling just as loud and inappropriately, jokingly outraged. “I’m just saying you're allowed to experiment if you want!” His voice gets a few pitches higher when he is arguing like this. Making it all that much more funny to Namjoon's ears.  

“Do you want me to experiment?” It sounded funnier when he thought it in his head as they laughed hysterically inside the car. But once it came out and their laughter had begun to die down, it just sounded plain flirty. 

And he’d be mortified by it if he didn’t see Seokjin’s expression completely widen into genuine shock. Jaw slacking open as he palms his lips. “You did not just twist my good genuine advice into that.” 

“Just answer the question, Seokjin.” Even with a joking tone, these flirty types of conversations is something he could've never done before. Yet they feel so easy now, with the weight of his chest, with the pressure gone. Leaving him breathing room for his heart to skip a beat at the sound of Seokjin’s giggles. 

“No but seriously answer me, can we go to your place? I’m pretty sure my friends are fucking your friend back at mine.” 

#namjin #chubby seokjin #internalized homophobia #anxiety #hurt comfort #making out

[bloodcandied]

Death Addiction 亡瘾 Chapter 4

When Xu Tuo was not at home, in fact, I would secretly investigate his identity.

"Xu Tuo" was a fake identity, from beginning to end. In a waterproof bag under his bed, there were several spare sets of fake identities.

If he wanted to hide it though, he could have done so in a more difficult place. Perhaps we'd been together so long that all those initial cautions we'd had about each other had begun to dull, as if two gentle, harmless creatures living together could never feed in the same cage.

I originally thought he'd be back in a few days, but it turned out that after two weeks, it was as if the man had evaporated, and I hadn't even heard from him. I even took the risk of checking the morgue to see if there was an additional unclaimed and mysterious body out in the field.

Usually, I'd use the excuse of "rushing back to cook for my roommate" to put off the fellowship organized by the unit. These days I didn't make it back to cook, so I was immediately seized by my colleagues. Two team leaders dragged me to the car while counting me down: "Xiao Dai you are too withdrawn, too withdrawn. You're the type that young girls like nowadays, so be confident."

I don't know if they'd be surprised if I told them that not only did young girls like me, but serial killers did too.

The restaurant I was whisked away to was a Japanese barbecue place in the center of town, where people sat next to each other, and the leader of the group, who was a friend of Uncle Zhou's, tried desperately to get me to go mingle with girls.

--That was the day I met Qi Mengzhu.

Like me, he was obviously dragged here by his own coworkers, and looked out of place among a bunch of hot people. But his expression was much softer than mine. In his words, when he saw me sitting on the opposite side of the table with a sour face that day, he thought I was the one responsible for paying the bill.

In fact, it was quite surprising to meet someone like Mr. Qi at the party. He was thirty-five years old, with handsome features, well-mannered, and well-suited. And our fellowship was a joint venture, and he was the company's senior manager.

I could feel the difference in how women treated the two of us - this man appeared to be here for the purpose of dating, like a red blooded beast ready to destroy a village.

Listening to the chat across the table, his father was one of the directors of the company. Qi Mengzhu graduated from business studies in the UK, spent a few years in the overseas sector, and was transferred back to China last year, with a flawless resume, and could be said to be a veritable rich second generation.

I was a little shaken.

After staying with Xu Tuo for such a long time, suddenly meeting Qi Mengzhu, an animal destined to live in the sun from birth, made me momentarily lack a sense of reality.

In the restaurant, the smell of barbecue and the sound of chatting intertwined into a cloud of hot smoke. I sat there playing with my cell phone, and suddenly, my foot was kicked.

A few seconds later, I reacted, and realized that Mr. Xiao Qi was the one kicking me. He smiled at me, "Does your department usually have to touch corpses?"

"Probably have to." I answered simply. Like a bug in the gutter afraid of meeting dry sunlight, I instinctively moved away from him, afraid of being exposed to the sunlight.

He kicked me gently again.

"-I thought male employees in your kind of organization weren't allowed to have long hair."

I'd read the regulations carefully before I started, and all it said was that no shorts were allowed to be worn to work.

The grill in front of us was a little charred, and no one paid much attention to the grill. Qi Mengzhu wiped his hands on a hot towel and took a clip to flick the cooked vegetables to the sides, one piece of meat to the left and one to the right, holding them level from side to side.

--Towel rests, chopstick holders, seasoning plates, cell phones ...... everything on his side was neatly placed point to point, corner to corner.

"Dai Xueming," he called to me, "are you hungry?"

Qi Mengzhu used a clip to hold the meat and came over to my plate; I was still lost in thought, and my cell phone screen was displaying the interface to send a message to someone - what was Xu Tuo doing right now?

"Dai, the other Qi is talking to you." The team leader reminded me.

I looked back. The meat Qi Mengzhu was holding was dripping a string of grease, and perhaps it was an illusion, but a short flash of disgust crossed his eyes.

"I'm not hungry." I gave him a very insensitive reply, "I'm going to the restroom."

The barbecue place was booming on the weekends, but the hallway to the restroom at the back of the store wasn't devoid of people. I stood in the hallway with my cell phone, looking at the screen. The message to Xu Tuo was tinkered with many times, but in the end it didn't go out.

Someone ruffled my hair from behind, and I shuddered, jumped and turned around, looking at the person warily - it was Qi Mengzhu.

"You don't like the atmosphere either, do you?" He smiled as if he'd done nothing and withdrew his hand, "Me too. Do you want to go out for some air?"

"No need."

"You're not here to use the restroom either."

"I'll go later, I came back here to message my friend."

"What message?"

I didn't like this person.

Although Xu Tuo and I had known each other for a long time, the two of us never rushed to squeeze into each other's safe private zones. Xu Tuo was sometimes bitchy and got a little excited talking about the killing process, but I would have rather been surrounded by ten Xu Tuos right now than face this person.

--Qi Mengzhu made the warning lights go off in my mind.

I had lived with a serial killer for so long that I was able to keenly recognize when people and things were dangerous, and had an unimaginably high level of tolerance for dangerous people. Yet this man in front of me, what did he look at me like? Not like a human looking at another human, but like a snake staring at a frog.

"Are those ...... strangulation marks on your neck?" He asked.

"The neckline of the dress shirt my mother picked out for me was too tight and it left marks." That was my safe answer for the ages.

He smiled sideways, "It's strangulation from the rope."

I mentally cursed.

"Strangled by a little kid who didn't know any better while playing with the neighbor kids."

"How many answers did you have prepared?" He smiled more intensely, his eyes even brightening, "-Are you trying to kill yourself?"

There could be no more contact with him.

Someone came from the other end of the corridor, and I took the opportunity to bump him off and run back to the restaurant. Before the leader of the group could urge me to sit down, I was already carrying my bag, "Grandma doesn't seem to be feeling well, my mom told me to go home and check."

It was ten o'clock at night, and there were only a few people around the residential area. I drove into the neighborhood's underground garage, ready to park and go home.

The sound of another person's footsteps echoed in the garage in addition to mine. Because of the echoes, I had no way to tell which direction this person was going, but I just locked the car door and hurried toward the elevator.

The moment I pushed open the glass door of the elevator room, a suited figure flashed out from behind me and grabbed my shoulder.

--It was Qi Mengzhu!

The blood in my body froze, and the hand that went to push the door with force slipped on the doorknob.

"...... these are signs of hanging ......" he came up beside my neck, his voice lowered, "not strangulation---hanging from the top down ......"

"Get out!" I wanted to kick him away. Xu Tuo was sometimes guilty of giving up with by kicking him away; but I'd clearly overestimated the broad spectrum of that method - he dodged my counterattacks, which had neither speed nor strength, and wrenched both of my shoulders.

"Dai Xueming, did you try to kill yourself, but weren't able to bring yourself to do it?" A gleam of extreme excitement shone in his eyes, and it looked incredibly bizarre on this well-mannered face, "--I'll help you! Let me help you! I knew I wouldn't be wrong, you believe ......"

Before the words fell, the entire parking lot echoed with a muffled "thud".

--Qi Mengzhu collapsed. Behind him, Xu Tuo threw away the iron bucket used to wash the car in his hand, which rolled on the ground, leaving bloodstains across the floor. He'd smashed the back of Qi Mengzhu's head hard with it.

"I saw your car enter the neighborhood and wanted to go down to the parking lot to join you." With some confusion in his eyes, he kicked the ground with his toe, "Who's this? Your new boyfriend?"

I dragged him back to the house, my hand shaking with my keys as I opened the door.

"Don't worry, he'll wake up in a little while, I didn't hit him hard enough to worry that it was really your new boyfriend."

"...... He'll call the police ......"

"Won't happen. He's probably more vain than we are. I can tell at a glance if a person will call the police."

Xu Tuo dropped his travel backpack on the couch; he had just returned from a long trip and collapsed on the cushions with a long sigh of relief. I was still worried about Qi Mengzhu and stood hovering at the window.

"It's okay," He smiled bitterly, "I'm here."

"It's the fact that you're there is the trouble. Did you leave any dangerous items? Just in case, take them all and dispose of them first."

I found the waterproof bag where he hid the fake documents and took it to the kitchen gas stove to burn them all. Xu Tuo's voice came from the living room: "Your cell phone draft box has thirty-seven messages to me ...... so miss me ah? Why not send them, and only keep them in the draft box?"

"Don't play with my phone!" I rushed over and snatched it back, emptying the drafts box all together, "If the police haven't come to my door the day after tomorrow, it'll be fine ...... You'd better pray that Qi Mengzhu really won't call the police."

"You're worried about me?" He grinned as he rolled over and sat up on the couch, "Xueming, but I can leave anytime I want."

I froze, "What?"

"--I've stayed in this city for too long."

Xu Tuo once said that he rarely stayed in one place for very long. Usually only staying for a few days to a few months.

But he'd been staying here for a few years now.

I'd never bothered to find out why he stayed here. I got used to him being here.

"But I might actually have to go." He said, "Maybe next week, maybe tomorrow. I came back this time to tell you about it."

I looked at him blankly, not knowing what to say for a moment.

"You don't want me to go?" He asked.

"......"

"Can you find a reason for me not to go?" He reached out his hand and held the cell phone in my hand, "Xueming, you yourself don't realize that you're actually no different from a child, and that the person you've exchanged secrets with can put you at ease - and only a child would take the matter of exchanging secrets so seriously, so seriously that it's like exchanging wedding rings. "

He didn't open that travel bag. I knew what that meant. Not organizing the travel bag meant a new trip was coming soon.

I gripped my cell phone tightly and didn't let him pull it out of my hand.

"I know what you're trying to do." He said.

"You know?"

"In elementary school, I used to hear my classmates say, 'If you don't play with me, I'll ignore you again.'" He had a calm smile in his eyes, reflecting my somewhat distorted complexion, "...... If I don't play with you, will you call the police?"

"......You want to try and find out?" I took half a step back, hiding my cell phone behind me.

His eyes narrowed slightly, "Stop it."

After a few seconds of silence, I sighed.

"-I'm kidding." I said, "Just leave if you want to, and remember to pay this month's rent."

He shrugged his shoulders and leaned back on the couch, "I was worried......"

--The instant those words fell, he leapt off the couch at me.

It was so fast that although I was on guard, my body couldn't keep up with the reaction and I was knocked down by the neck.

The cell phone fell out and the screen lit up, displaying the interface to send a message to Uncle Zhou.

Xu Tuo stepped on my chest and picked up the phone from the floor, he lifted the coffee table upwards a little bit and shoved my phone under the table's foot. Then the coffee table landed heavily, the table legs crushing it to pieces.

"The house play is over, Xueming" He looked down at me, and I couldn't read his expression because of the backlighting, "There's no way I can leave you alone. I'm going to have to kill you and your mom downstairs before I can leave in peace."

He dragged me into the bedroom and took the rope out of the drawer and wrapped it around my neck, then opened the window and secured the other end to the shelf of the air conditioner's outer box, just like he had done to himself that one time. Xu Tuo dragged me to the window sill, tidied my forehead hair wet with cold sweat, and slowly tightened the rope.

"Have ...... you ever thought about doing this before?" I asked softly.

He nodded. The man's expression softened again in the moonlight.

"Fifty fifty chance you'll survive" He said.

Xu Tuo gave me one last hug, patting my back gently like putting a child to sleep. Half of my body was already outside the window, and at any moment he could let go and be the moment the roller coaster went down.

"If ......" I didn't reach out to pull him back. I knew that as soon as I made the move to try and tug him back, he would instantly slam me out the window, "What if I had something to keep you here?"

Xu Tuo didn't answer, continuing to soothe me, patting me on the back.

"Someone is constantly preying on young women, disguised as suicide by hanging. This month, there were three cases in this district, and over the past six months, there have probably been more than twenty in the city."

At my words, his movements stopped. My breathing stopped with them, wondering if the next moment would usher in a downward spiral.

Then I heard his voice.

"--How did you know?"

"...... I saw the photos in our database ...... Cases that end in suicide are rarely sent to us. I saw a case that said the rope the victim used to hang herself was very special, so my colleague made a trace entry in passing ...... I've since gone to the city's archives to look for it, and this particular rope trace appeared in other suicide cases."

"How special?"

I looked into his eyes, which twitched a little and turned downward.

I said, "It's just like the rope mark on my neck, a mark caused by a high yardage German climbing rope."

Xu Tuo smiled at me. I rarely smiled, but at the moment, for some reason, I smiled back at him.

Immediately after, I was pushed off the ledge and fell out the window.

To be continued

#death addiction mtl #death addiction

[minarcana]

im having so many urianger thoughts after 3.5 but my usual victims for rambling arent online so i have to talk to the void (make a text post) or the thoughts will not leave me

im at like. close to the end. thinking about urianger at the meeting of the scions purposely having his hood and glasses back and standing at a marked distance from the group until thancred verbally pulls him in. (thinking about how he stands off as an expression of guilt because he is firmly convinced they shouldnt have him here, and probably thinks thancred specifically would be the one most opposed to his presence, because urianger ‘offered payment with coin that was not his to use’ i.e. took away the chance for minfilia’s return as minfilia) (tfw you do something that manages to be commitment to your ideals and action to protect what you care about but at the same time you’re now pretty sure you’ve lost both everyone you know and like and your best surviving friend.)

on one hand hes talked himself into a corner in his own head, ‘this is the only path but my steps upon it are unforgivable’. he gets to commit to action and his beliefs, but still firmly believes he will not be allowed to have friends any more. despite the fact that most reactions he saw after are... not entirely leading toward that belief [urianger voice] i have to overthink literally everything and never say anything about it. clearly i am a criminal. obviously.

matters to me its thancred who drags him back into the group, their friendship matters to me. two guys. this is in its own way a verbalized gripe and verbalized forgiveness (if that’s even the word). clown 2 clown communication. has to be clown to clown communication bc both of them would rather die than say a normal straightforward sentence but i get them im perceiving.

its just!!!! hes doing so much out of care for both his friends and these lets-be-real strangers, but he is also so convinced that what he’s doing, the actions of protecting as many people as possible, will make him alone again!! and he cares so much about people! augh!!! urianger vc well its fine to sacrifice myself (metaphoircally :) ) such is all i can do. i would pay with my own coin if i could. which i cannot stress enough, none of these problems in his brain would exist if he just talked to a person about his plans, but he absolutely the fuck will not learn from this experience. I Grab A Man. I Give Him Complexes.

also i know he goes back to his default outfit but look at me. look at me, look into my eyes. his bullshit hypocrisy in warring triad matters to me and i think about it a lot but i also think about him telling unukalhai it’s fine to show one’s face more among friends and urianger having his full face showing when he talks with hydaelyn. he’s back in the cowl for obvious reasons when he thinks hes not supposed to be among the scions any more but look into my eyes urianger going around with his hood down and goggles as a headband instead of covering his face when he’s at the sands now. look at me this matters to me. it is about seeing/being seen. he’s allowed to have this development as a physicalization. im allowed to say he simply does this. it is a matter of comfort/discomfort around others. and ‘it’s fine to show one’s face among friends’ now.

#'dez are you okay' NO I WROTE 5 PAAGRAPHS ABOUT *NOTHING* #I JUST HAVE THOUGHTS IM CHEWING ON URI #headcanon : urianger

[bisexualamy]

who wants to go on a date 2 the air and space museum w me and take pictures w me in front of the lil starship enterprise model they have

#i did this once but i was pre t so the photo legally doesn't exist #it wasn't on a date though it was a field trip #and i dragged my friends away from the group for this express purpose #none of them were trekkies but i appreciate that they indulged me #ren speaks

[anashins]

The Right Kind of Wrong

Title: The Right Kind of Wrong

Pairing: Jaehyun x You

Genre: hate to love, cheating, college!au, friendship, romance, smut

Warnings: smut, cheating, cursing, toxicity

Word Count: 8.454

Summary: There are many reasons for you to hate Jung Jaehyun. Aside from being cocky and selfish, the fact that he is dating your best friend is another one of them. But his mesmerizing smile - to hell with it - just isn't.

____

There were at least a hundred things you hated about Jung Jaehyun.

The fact that he was dating your best friend was just one of them.

Not a single day had passed by in the last year in which she hadn’t complained about her boyfriend having flirted with another woman, having ditched her again, going to a party and ignoring her all night, or simply dragging her mood down by one of his unpredictable and hurtful actions.

Aside from being cocky, selfish, arrogant and reckless, Jung Jaehyun was absolutely incapable of being a decent human being for more than ten seconds, and you were wondering why he was so damn popular despite all his faults.

When you went out with your friend group, he mocked the boys trying to hit on you, telling you they were so desperate for that move. When you were attending the same class, he purposely sat down next to you to distract you from the lesson. When he was at your dorm, he kept moving your things onto high shelves, knowing you couldn’t reach them.

And his smirk everytime he did so… his smirk every time he mocked you was so annoying. But also so hot.

Fuck, you thought whenever his mischievious eyes met yours again, and you had to turn away, at a loss for words and afraid he’d caught you flushing. You were so ashamed, because you actually wanted to hate him.

There were many reasons for you to hate Jung Jaehyun, but his mesmerizing smile wasn't one of them.

You hadn’t hated him from the first moment that you two had officially met as you had gotten introduced to each other through your best friend who was also your dorm mate, though. She had found him on a dating app, and you had found him sitting in your class two days later, talking back to the professor.

Back then, you had started admiring his intelligence and courage. But those were the only two positive things you had spotted so far as you only tried to stay as far away from him as possible, emphasizing his negative character traits over and over again.

But the truth was that staying away from him was a very hard thing to do, and you fought every day for your sanity, trying to be a good friend and suppressing your controversial feelings for a man who was absolutely forbidden to you.

“He went drinking last night and I saw an instagram story of him grinding against another girl on the dancefloor!” your best friend complained in your arms, tears on the verge of flowing. “Who’s doing that even?!”

A few pairs of eyes turned into your direction, but when you threw fierce glances at the people staring at you, they passed by very quickly.

When you had been invited to your friend Johnny’s house party, you hadn’t expected to be spending the evening comforting your best friend, even though that had been your daily routine for the past three weeks.

It had grown toxicly usual for Jaehyun and her to fight in a two to three day rhythm over the smallest things, and although their wonky relationship or whatever it was hadn’t been very steady before with them breaking up nearly monthly, lately it had grown almost obnoxious.

“Why don’t you just break up with him?” you suggested again and immediately felt your heart sink.

It wasn’t like you wanted them to break up because you wanted Jaehyun for yourself. You’d never do that to her.

Your best friend was just constantly hurting, and it hurt you just as much when you saw her suffering so greatly. Jung Jaehyun wasn’t a good guy, and you both knew. Yet, she couldn’t let go of him. You knew exactly how that felt.

Even if they were to break up, he wouldn’t belong to you. Because a friend’s ex was a taboo. So having Jaehyun gone entirely from your lives would kill two birds with one stone.

“Not that again!” your friend whined and retreated from you, sinking into the couch with her arms crossed and no signs of tears anymore. “I can’t! I mean… look at him! He’s so hot, and don’t get me even started about his skills in bed. That’s where we usually make up, you know, so-”

“I’m going to get you something to drink!” you interrupted her and jumped up. “You totally need a cocktail now! To come to your senses!”

You loved your best friend dearly, but you didn’t want to hear about Jaehyun’s skills by all means. At some times, your friend didn’t have a filter, and then, it only spiraled downhill from there. You heard them often enough in the dorm, that was already pushing you to your limits.

When you entered the kitchen, you reached up to get a glass from the shelf, but like most of the times, you were too short for the remaining ones at the very top.

“Here, let me help you.”

A soft voice echoed from behind you, but before you could turn around to follow the tone, the guy had already heaved up his arm and reached over you to the very top of the shelf to get you a glass.

Shifting around, you faced the mischievous expression of the young man you had wanted to avoid and who your best friend was currently crying over.

Without a “thank you”, you reached out your hand to grab the glass from Jaehyun, but he immediately shot his arm up to bring the glass high over his head and far out of your reach.

“You think a simple ‘thank you’ is too much for you?”

“Fuck off, Jaehyun.” You crunched with your teeth and narrowed your eyes. “I’d rather die of thirst!”

“What did I do again?” He rolled his eyes in an annoyed manner as though his high spirits got ruined. “What did she tell you?”

“She told me everything she saw from last night!” you defended your friend. “That’s enough for me to get the picture!”

“Okay, and did the picture somehow include me pushing the girl away after she had grinded on me?”

You gulped.

“Just as I thought.”

He placed the glass on the counter, but somehow, this hadn’t got your both’s attention anymore.

“There are two sides of the same coin, yet all you've ever done was looking only at one.”

He approached you, and the rising hotness in your cheeks made you withdraw until your hips bumped into the kitchen counter.

Jaehyun leaned in and propped his arm against the same spot right next to your hip as he asked, “I know you’re her best friend, but being a friend doesn’t mean supporting your friends delusional, one sided thoughts into oblivion. Being a friend sure means to support, I’m not denying that. But being a true friend means to tell someone when they’re wrong. And I am not the one at fault here, y/n.”

“You were doing many stupid things to hurt her in the past!” you started blabbering just to bridge over the silence you’d get when you would stare at his mesmerizing eyes for a little longer. “How am I supposed to believe you?”

“You aren’t supposed to believe me.” He retreated, with the glass in his hand. “All I’m asking for is a chance to explain myself.”

Again, you were flabbergasted by the way he expressed his thoughts that stood in contrast to his questionable behavior. One of the main things that fascinated you. But you quickly turned this feeling into hate by recalling his wrongdoings from the night before.

Looking at the glass, Jaehyun continued, “Yes, there were many things I did wrong in the past. And I’m not going to pinpoint my finger at my girlfriend to tell that she was doing just as many questionable things as me. But people have reasons for doing the things they do. That’s probably why we’re such a good match.”

You didn’t understand a word. In your eyes, and you only knew about their relationship by what your friend told you and what you observed when you were hanging out, the two weren’t a good match at all.

He was the one constantly hurting her feelings, and she was the one to always get hurt.

Or... wasn’t it?

Jaehyun then thrusted the glass into your hand. “You’re lucky, y/n, you know that? It must be so great, living that freely, without any burdens… So oblivious to everything.”

With these words, he disappeared from the kitchen, leaving you behind all alone with the glass in your hand.

You looked at the item, your face getting reflected in the crystals to unrecognizability while Jaehyun’s words still kept you occupied. They had such an impact on you that you suddenly started to question whether your hate against him was actually valid.

When you stepped out of the kitchen yourself with a full glass of your best friend’s favorite cocktail in your hand, you found her in Jaehyun’s arms again, wildly kissing, his kind words suddenly vanished from your mind upon spotting them.

Instead, there was a little monster called jealousy sitting right inside your chest.

___

“8am in the morning! Who even places classes that early?!”

With a groan, Jaehyun flopped down in the seat next to you.

“Shut up, class is about to start.”

“Man, you must be really fun at parties,” he replied. “The professor is not even here yet.”

“You’re annoying, Jung Jaehyun, and if you weren’t dating my friend, I wouldn’t actually talk to you at all.”

“What are the odds we’re still connected to each other, huh! Tell me, y/n, what did I ever do to you? How did I ever hurt you? We’ve never even really spoken with each other ever since we’ve gotten introduced.”

“And I am grateful for this every single day.”

“What is it that you hate about me so much?” he questioned further, his eyes challenging.

But with your eyes straight ahead and no words on your lips, you ignored him as the professor entered the room only a short moment after, announcing the class’ start.

Your pen flew over the sheet, noting down the professor’s words when suddenly, goose bumps spread all over your arm.

When your eyes followed the trail to its source, your right elbow touched Jaehyun’s left one as a result of your hectic writing motions as you had moved too far to the side. The spot on your skin was so warm and so…

You withdrew your arm right away, placing it back to where it usually belonged, but Jaehyun’s own limb had moved so far to the left that you had no place to rest it next to your notes anymore without having his skin barely one inch apart from you. You weren’t touching anymore, but he was so close that you still felt him somehow.

Of course you could drop your arm and place it on your lap as the professor had stopped presenting the most important points of this lesson. Of course you could just move further away with your entire belongings, but the fact was that you didn’t. That you couldn’t.

Instead, you were fixating your eyes on the board right in front of you, listening to your professor’s words but not actually understanding a single syllable that he uttered as your heart beat fast against your chest.

You hoped that Jaehyun didn’t notice how desperate you were for him not to shift away right now. That you actually enjoyed it, but felt so much hatred at the same time. Not against him, but against you - for feeling this way.

“Can you answer my question, Miss y/n?”

Your eyes widened in shock as you got addressed by the professor by your surname. You were actually a good student who was always paying attention in class. Under normal circumstances, this wouldn’t have happened. But now you got caught red handed not listening to him, and he was a very strict lecturer.

“I… um…” you stuttered.

“The answer to my question, Miss.”

“Yes… the answer…” You gulped as you didn’t even know the question. “The answer is…”

From the corner of your eyes, you perceived how a sheet was slowly moving into your direction from Jaehyun’s place. His finger was pointed at a paragraph that you had also noted down only shortly before.

Suddenly, you knew what the question was about and answered formally to the professor’s task.

With your heart having calmed down after the shock, you let yourself sink down on your seat again. You had gotten distracted only once by something that shouldn’t bother you at all.

This wouldn’t happen again, you swore to yourself.

____

“No ‘thank you’ again from you?”

You turned around to Jaehyun who had rosen a brow at you. “Is this becoming your thing now? Asking for ‘thank yous’?”

“Is this becoming your thing now?” he returned. “Not saying ‘thank you’? I saved your ass in class.”

“Well, I haven’t asked for that, so go beg somewhere else for attention.”

You made your way through the crowded club, feelling the bass under your feet and the techno music in your ears. Jaehyun was following suit.

“Do you want some kind of reward from me? Because you’re not going to get it.”

“I don’t want a reward. Hey.”

He reached out and grabbed you by your arm, right there on the dancefloor. The feeling from this morning returned, but in a higher intensity as it spread all over your body.

“All I’m asking for is respect.”

You snorted. “Respect? Do you respect my friend when you destroy her weekend plans to go drinking with your friends instead? Do you respect my friend when you dance ass on ass with another girl? Do you respect my friend when you hurt her feelings with your rude words? I don’t like you, Jung Jaehyun, because you’re a bad person, and respect is the last thing you’ll ever get from me!”

You yanked yourself out from his grip and disappeared in the mass. What was up with him? Why was he bothering so much lately and evoking all these controversial feelings inside you by acting like this? He should just stay away.

With your eyes closed, you started to move with the music, all by yourself there on the dancefloor. You wanted to collect your thoughts, but as the music flooded through your body, you realized that thinking about nothing was probably the best way to cope with your inner struggles right now.

You opened your eyes widely when you suddenly felt a hand on your bum.

Turning around with much anger reflected in your mien, you stared at a boy around your age who grinned at you seductively. Your fierce gaze was probably mistaken for an invitation when he approached you further, grabbed you by your hips from the front and pressed you against him.

With his lips on your ear, he whispered, “I like what I see.”

And you wanted to scream. You probably did, but it got drowned out by the loud music, and his grip was way too hard for you to free yourself that easily as you shuffled in his arms.

“Let me go!”

Yet, his hands roamed around your private areas like they owned it.

“HEY!”

Before you could scream once more, the guy got dragged away from you by the last person you had expected it from.

“She said let go of her, you asshole!”

Jaehyun grabbed him by his collar, and his height and angry expression alone were probably enough for the other guy to nearly piss his pants as he hastily mouthed,

“I’m so sorry!”

When Jaehyun let go of him, he slipped off silently and wasn’t seen again.

You stood there awkwardly with your arms hugging your chest, still digesting the happenings.

“Did he hurt you?” Jaehyun asked when he leaned in for you to understand better.

You shook your head.

“Do you want to go outside?”

You nodded.

Jaehyun took you by your hand to lead you through the dancing crowd, and you didn’t protest.

This gesture was the total opposite to the disgusting one from the guy who had harassed you shortly before. This touch was raw and chaste. Nothing to be ashamed of and fight against, but something you wanted to accept wholeheartedly.

When you stood outside of the club, Jaehyun let go of your hand, and you finally whispered the words that he had been longing to hear for quite a time,

“Thank you.”

Against your expectations, he didn’t mock you or return witty words. With his eyes locked with yours, he sincerely told you,

“You’re welcome.”

That was the moment it dawned on you that Jung Jaehyun had more positive sides to him that you had always wanted to blend out. But perhaps, you had reached a point in which this wasn’t possible anymore.

You couldn’t continue keeping your eyes closed to all the kind sides of him. Because the more he showed you, the more you’d open your heart for him.

To you, Jung Jaehyun had to remain a bad person, otherwise you’d fall for him, and falling for your best friend’s boyfriend was a taboo.

“Hey, what are you two doing outside?!” Speaking of the devil, your best friend jumped out of the club’s door and into your direction. “Isn’t the music fun?”

Jaehyun looked at you, waiting for your reaction. You knew that if you wanted to go home, he’d follow. If you wanted to stay, he’d stay too, not letting you out of his sight. Because - and you couldn’t repeat this often enough - Jaehyun was actually a good person.

“I want to go home,” you decided. “You can stay, though! Please just let me be the party pooper all alone, I don’t want to spoil your night.”

“Oh, what a pity!” your friend said with a pout. “You always leave when the party is about to start!”

You shrugged with a weak smile, tired of fighting. “Yeah, I guess so. But I still have a lot of pages to revise.”

“Shall we take you back to the dorm?” Jaehyun offered in a caring voice that you apparently encountered for the first time, and your friend immediately shot a reproachful glare at him.

“Are you being serious right now?” she complained. “She’s a grown ass woman who can go home alone!”

His eyes hadn’t left yours. “I’m talking to her, not you.”

Had it always been like this? Her caring about herself more than about you? If it were the other way around, you wouldn’t let her go home alone in the middle of the night, no matter if you knew something had happened before or not.

Suddenly, you saw your best friend from a whole other perspective. Suddenly, she was the one having Jaehyun on a leash, and he was the one fighting back for his rights, not against her.

Two sides of the same coin… If you were to flip it, would your entire world view change?

For a moment, you hesitated. But not wanting to disturb your friend’s evening, you gave in with a, “It’s okay, I can go alone. Have a nice night!”

But Jaehyun held you back when he insisted on calling you an uber for which he even paid while your best friend continued pouting on the side.

____

“FUCK YOU, JAEHYUN!” you heard your best friend scream later that night from her room, every syllable of hers clearly to hear in your own room while you laid in bed later that night.

The hours before had passed by in a trance as you had only fallen onto your mattress face forward after having quickly changed into your pj’s, that was how much of a toll the day had taken on you.

You just wanted to forget what had happened in the club, but also the thoughts that had constantly been in your mind all the way home that only revolved around Jaehyun. So sleep was the best solution, and you would have gladly continued doing so if there weren’t your best friend and Jaehyun arguing loudly next to you for an hour already.

Then, Jaehyun seemed to return something to which she screamed again, “I DON’T FUCKING CARE!”

Stomping followed the brief silence, a door getting opened, then shut again, and footsteps moved into the direction of the entry door before it fell close behind Jaehyun.

This was a nearly weekly experience for you lately, and usually, you’d just miss hearing their arguments, but this time you couldn’t help but to wonder what they had been yelling about. You just hoped it wasn’t because of you and what had happened to you earlier, because in your eyes, Jaehyun had done nothing wrong.

He had been so incredibly nice and thoughtful that you started to doubt their relationship.

You turned in your bed, wanting to fight those thoughts so badly. Jaehyun was your best friend’s boyfriend, and hence, forbidden fruit for you. But you just couldn’t stop your imagination from running now.

What it would be like in your best friend’s place and get treated like this every day, and the worst part was that you didn’t even feel bad about betraying her in your mind.

Fuck, you only thought and sat straight up in bed, now surely not being able to grasp a light thought to accompaby you back to lseep anymore.

Feeling safe to leave your room ten minutes later as your roommate must have fallen asleep by now, you didn’t think about sleep anymore but wanted to get a glass of water from the kitchen to calm yourself down.

Perhaps, tomorrow, you’d have another look at the entire situation, you tried to convince yourself. After a few more hours of sleep, all these confusing thoughts and feelings might have already been forgotten.

“Cannot sleep yet?”

You turned around and found a half naked Jaehyun only dressed in boxers right in front of you. The empty glass of water in your hands got placed back on the counter with shaky fingers.

“What are you doing here?” you contered.

“Well… she suddenly left.” He shrugged. “We’ve been arguing. You sure haven’t missed that one.”

“I didn’t.”

Still, you were wondering what that was all about, but didn’t want to ask. He lifted the weight off your shoulders himself though.

“It was about you.”

“Oh…?” You gulped.

“When you were gone, I went back to that guy and didn’t let him go that easily. They threw me out of the club and your friend thought I'd ruined the night for her.”

“You shouldn’t have done that.”

You wanted to make your way around him, but he blocked your way as he didn’t move to make space for you to pass by the door.

“What’s making me a bad person, y/n?” Jaehyun suddenly asked. “ The way I saved you in class? In the club? Tell me.”

“You cannot be serious right now. It’s 5am, draw a number for another day.”

You wanted to slip under his stretched out arm, but he moved his body to block you again. “Number one. Now tell me.”

“Because those have been the only times you were nice to me, Jung Jaehyun!” You clenched your fists, breathing in deeply. “When we go out with our friend group, you mock the boys trying to hit on me, telling them they’re so desperate for that move!”

“Because I heard them speaking about you before,” he declared. “They were not looking for something serious but only fun, one had even placed a bet. I tried to spare you from this embarrassment and eventual lovesickness. Go on.”

“When we’re in the same class, you purposely sit down next to me to distract me from the lesson!”

This one let him smirk. “Because I always saw you sitting there alone. You have no friends in that class, and I thought you might need some company. Besides… I knew you couldn’t afford that book we needed, and I purposely always shoved it into your direction when the professor read from it. Have you never noticed?”

Now you have. And you were flabbergasted.

“Wh… when,” you stuttered, “you’re over here, you always move my stuff onto high shelves, knowing I cannot reach them!”

“Because I love to see the defeated look on your face and your cute pout when you have to ask me to get the things for you.”

You didn’t know what to say further as you stood there, frozen on the spot. You hadn’t seen this answer coming.

“Anything else?”

Yes, there were many things you hated him for, and you wanted to throw them all into his face, but as he was standing there in front of you, not even one more came into your mind.

“I just hate you to the core!” you hissed.

But with calmness in his voice, he only turned, “No, you don’t.”

And then, it was all only a blur.

You wanted to push him away, but instead, you found yourself nudging against his body. You wanted to free yourself from his grip, but instead, you wrapped your arms around him. You wanted to escape from his kiss, but instead, you kissed him back in the same passionate manner he kissed you.

Jaehyun’s hands roamed all over your lightly covered body while his lips moved against yours, touching every spot he had missed out on during the entire time he knew you, because you had always pushed him away.

But now that you had opened up to him, you were scared the time window was about to close very soon, so you had to work fast.

You jumped on him, hooking your thighs around his waist while his hands instantly clung around your buttocks to give you the support he needed to carry you to your bedroom. Your hands remained interlaced on the back of his neck when he placed you onto your bed and laid himself between your legs.

Thrown overboard were all your morals, priorities, and the friendship to the person that meant the world to you. You didn’t want to think about all that, but were longing for him so desperately that you wondered for how long you had been suppressing that desire already.

Jung Jaehyun was hot. But he was a bad person.

Or… wasn’t he?

You desperately ground upwards against him, feeling him growing between your legs, and you brought your hands down to massage his length. Jaehyun interrupted your kiss as he hadn’t expected this move to come, and groaned into your ear.

You smirked triumphantly, your hands kneading muscles until he was pressed hard against your palms. Tucking your fingers into the waistband of his boxers, you slid the garment from his hips, revealing his bum. Your hands glided along his curvy, soft mounds, grabbing into them like you were testing ripe peaches.

Jaehyun was pecking your lips as you slid your hands under his body again and closed around his entire girth. He stopped for a moment, but the second he continued on, you started moving your hands, top on top, along his length.

Not being able to concentrate on the feeling down there and kissing you simultaneously anymore, you perceived how Jaehyun got weak with supporting his body on his own arms that he had rested to the left and right of your head. So you decided to take the lead from here on.

Sitting up yourself, you put your palms on Jaehyun’s chest and pushed him backwards onto the mattress. He watched you with surprised eyes, but didn’t protest as you sat on his thighs, eyeing his member with much anticipation.

You slid further down his legs, nearly close to his ankles, and bowed down. With your fingers wrapped around the base of his dick, you led him to your mouth. First letting the tip pass by your lips, then his entire length up until the very middle.

You only heard him swearing, “fucking shit,” before Jaehyun covered his face with his arm placed over his eyes and his other clasping the sheet by his side. Your hair grazed over the area around his navel while you moved your head up and down, cautiously slow at first to give yourself time to adapt to his length.

Then, you started bobbing your head, increasing the speed with every time you came up and nearly let him slip out, your fingers that had closed around him sliding in the same rhythm, adding to the pleasure. The slurping noises that came along with this act filled the room until they got drowned out by Jaehyun’s moans.

He directed his hand towards your head and grabbed it by the back, ruffling your hair between his fingers while he started to thrust upwards, meeting you halfway in the fast motions. Like this, he was able to reach deep within you, but still not far enough so that he could hurt you.

When you witnessed him twitching his legs, you stopped, held him still by the base and decided to tease him further a bit before you allowed him to release himself. With the tip of your tongue, you touched his glans, trailed along the slip and then circled around the entire top part.

Jaehyun’s swearing words came in a never ending trail like a waterfall that you couldn’t really understand all syllables from, but you were sure you did a good job and rewarded him for being patient with the motions from before again, but this time with added pressure and passion.

Suddenly, he grabbed you by your arm, urging you to stop.

“Or else I’m gonna cum,” he said and sat himself up, flipping you around so that you laid under him again.

Hastily, you got rid of your top while Jaehyun worked on your sleeping shorts until shortly after, you were both lying naked on top of each other. You wanted him desperately inside you, because you just didn’t know when you’ve had had sex the last time, but instead of wanting to get through this fast, Jaehyun took his time.

That was when you realized that this entire joining was probably more to him than just sex to get it off. You had thought that because he hadn’t been able to get it tonight from your best friend, he’d take it from you. But the way he touched you insisted otherwise.

If it wasn’t more than just sex, he wouldn’t trail his fingers over your ribcage in feathery-light motions, admiring every inch of your body. If it wasn’t more than a body-focused act, he wouldn’t place soft kisses not only on your mouth, but also onto your forehead, your cheek, your neck… If it wasn’t more, Jaehyun wouldn’t be so damn thoughtful and tender.

He remained his tenderness and his gaze didn’t leave your eyes as well when he finally nudged between your thighs, pushing forward until he filled you up to the brim.

Restraining himself from starting to move right away, Jaehyun took his time to ask you whether you were okay at first when you let out a quiet “oh” that alarmed him. But you were eager to calm him down when you explained that it was only because you hadn’t been with a man in so long, and somehow, after speaking it out, it made you feel embarrassed.

As the boyfriend of your best friend, he’d surely know when you had been in contact with a man the last time, and you hated yourself for being so pressured by society to feel ashamed of who you were and how you lived your life.

But instead of judging you, Jaehyun only nodded and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, and suddenly, you were flooded with such a warm feeling towards him that you nearly cried. Rarely had you encountered a man so considerate and caring.

“Tell me when I can go on.”

You bit your lip and felt the uncomfortable pressure in your nether regions getting replaced by a feeling that you hadn’t encountered in so long. A feeling that made you want more, want him.

Holding onto his shoulders with both of your hands, you nodded back at him with a smile which he then returned. When Jaehyun started thrusting in and out of you, your eye contact didn’t break, and you were sure that right now, you were looking at the real Jaehyun at this very moment.

Not the guy you hated. Not the guy your best friend was dating. But instead the person who wanted to protect you from guys that only wanted to use you. A person who offered you company in class and shared his equipment with you. And a person whose cheekiness and affection he showed through childish acts because he didn’t know how to express his feelings otherwise.

This was not the person you were sure of knowing all along. Probably because you hadn’t even gotten to know him in the first place.

One arm now clung around his neck while with the other, you grabbed the pillow beside you. You threw your head back in excitement, his pushes coming in short intervals one after another, and he was hitting all the right spots with them.

Jaehyun propped his arms up to the left and right of him, lifting his upper body to gather all his strength in his groin area and stopped for a brief moment before he thrusted inside you with such force that it nearly knocked all air out of your lungs, and you couldn’t respond with anything else than moaning.

It felt so good, so… right. But how could something so wrong still feel so right?

Right now, you didn’t hate Jaehyun or your best friend the most, but yourself and the fact that you continued on and on. That you brought your hips up to meet his thrusts with hazy thoughts and his lips all over yours when he slowed down with his movements to dedicate himself to caressing your breasts.

You felt Jaehyun’s hot tongue swirling over your buds, and you shook under him. Not because it felt cold, but because his tender caresses just felt so good. You didn’t have the feeling that he could do anything wrong with whatever he carried out, that was your impression about how well your bodies meshed together.

No, you didn’t hate Jaehyun. You had always only hated how he had presented himself to you. But there was so much more to him.

Sweat droplets showed on his forehead when he continued with the hard thrusts again, the sound of you both breathing heavily mixing together with the sloppy noises of your bodies moving against each other filling the room, but no matter how messy sex was, it was the most romantic thing you had experienced in a long time.

Your eye contact also didn’t break when Jaehyun arose above you, his sweaty chest glistening in the dim light that shone through your windows, and increased his pace even more. When he dropped his head and bit his lip in the process, you wrapped your arms around him and added pressure to your nether regions as you felt him approaching his heights.

It felt very good to you too, but you were by any means not as far as him yet, so you didn’t blame him when he came only a short moment after with a groan that sounded sexy as hell to you.

You held him tightly when he fell limply onto your chest, still breathing heavily from the orgasm that slowly faded. Staring at the ceiling, you smiled with him in your arms, just enjoying the moment when Jaehyun moved away from you.

“We’re not done here yet,” you saw him grin as he laid himself next to you, rolled onto the side and placed his head in his palms as he propped his elbow against the mattress.

You wondered what was to come when you felt his finger tips dragging from your thighs to your navel, then lower again and stopped right at your most sensitive spot.

“Oh!” you let out as he placed two fingers on your folds and started moving them up and down with your remaining juices as lube that made the intense feeling kick in almost immediately.

You screamed when he added pressure and now directed circling motions around the sensitive bundle of nerves. From your half-closed eyes, you witnessed him looking at you with such admiration but also cheekiness as you writhed and wreathed under him, yet spread your legs even wider as release was so close.

Jaehyun leaned in to you, his fingers not letting go of the continuity as he half covered your body with his and just kissed you passionately. Like this, he encountered first hand how the orgasm took over you, and you moaned into his mouth, riding it out against his hand.

It felt like the most natural thing in the world when he wrapped his arms around you right after and pulled you onto his chest, and you drifted off into a slumber shortly after.

Even though the first tendencies of your bad consciousness set in before you closed your eyes, you decided that this would be the problem of tomorrow.

No, you didn’t hate Jung Jaehyun.

If anything, you should probably hate yourself.

___

“YES… YES… YESYESYES, OHMYGOD!”

You heard your friend from the other side of the wall, having rudely awakened you in the early morning hours. At least you thought so. But a glimpse at your phone through sleepy eyes told you that it was past 11am already.

Within a second, you were wide awake.

You were still naked, but the clothes on your floor only belonged to you, and the spot next to you in the bed was empty.

“OH!MY!GOD!.... YES! OH… OH.... AAAAH… OHOHOH… YES!!”

Jaehyun was gone. At least from your room.

Your best friend’s headboard constantly bumped against the wall, and you grabbed your pillow to cover your ears with it. You didn’t want to hear the sounds. Not because they stole your sleep, but because somehow, for the first time, you didn’t feel disturbed by the noise, but actually hurt.

In your mind, you imagined Jaehyun’s mesmerizing smile, the witty expression he was constantly wearing and his deep voice that had showed you for the first time last night that there was a certain softness within it.

You felt hurt, because you knew all the things from last night had been real between you two, yet he was still fucking your best friend mere hours later. What you had shared and felt had been special, yet he was still with her.

And suddenly, you felt hate again. But towards yourself. For betraying your best friend with him. But first and foremost, for betraying yourself.

You had never hated Jung Jaehyun.

You had always felt some certain kind of attraction towards him, but kept telling yourself you hated him to push him as far away from you as possible. If this wouldn’t be so wrong under these circumstances, this attraction would feel right and could blossom. But like this, you could never come to enjoy this feeling entirely.

Your relationship had been doomed from the very start, because given the wicked circumstances, you would never be able to form a healthy relationship. It was like a stain that would never vanish on a white sheet.

So you just decided to continue as usual. To keep this a secret between the both of you and just to carry on with your life.

And to hate Jung Jaehyun just a little more.

You just didn’t know how to feel and act towards your best friend without feeling so much… regret.

“Good morning.”

But the young man stepping out of your best friend’s room wasn’t Jaehyun. But Johnny.

You sat there in the kitchen with a cup of coffee, your mouth agape. And then it started to rattle in your head.

Lately, there were times when your best friend had screamed the name “Jaehyun!” loudly during the act. Those were the times you had actually seen him the next morning. But the nights she hadn’t screamed a certain name, no one had ever come out. And those times, you had counted more than the ones with Jaehyun in the past weeks, just when their loud arguments started on a nearly daily basis.

“Where’s Jaehyun?” you asked without greeting her good morning as you walked into her room.

“Oh, we had a fight last night,” she explained to you while getting herself dressed casually. “And then we broke up. I went away to be with Johnny after throwing him out, and we’ve only gotten back this morning. I hope he left last night already and didn’t stay here.”

“What?” you wondered.

“Yeah.” She shrugged. “I’ll get over it.”

“You actually already got over it as I’ve seen!”

“Oh, Johnny?”

“You’ve been fucking him for weeks already?” you provoked.

She shrugged again. “Perhaps a month… So what?”

You stood there, totally lost for words. “You’ve been crying about Jaehyun to me ever since you got together! That he flirted with other women, ditched you, went to parties and ignored you! And now you’re telling me you’ve been cheating on him for quite a while?! And this instagram story drama from last week?”

She sighed and flopped down onto the bed. “Okay, admittedly, I’m not an angel in this story, but he is by far neither! He was not. There were many things he has done wrong in the past. But then he actually started… doing nothing wrong. Being the picture perfect boyfriend without all these flaws and drama. And perhaps, this is not something that I want, so I started to look around elsewhere.”

“So…” You paused, still processing the shock. “Was it all an act? All the times you’ve cried to me over him lately while cheating behind his back?”

“Not an act, precisely,” she said reluctantly. “Yes, he explained every situation to me. And I was being dramatic over it for nothing, perhaps. I don’t know… I still enjoyed being with him though, but it just didn’t feel right anymore. I want to have men just… telling me I’m right, always coming back to me… what’s a relationship without fire? But Jaehyun didn’t want to do this anymore.”

In your head, you recalled everything that Jaehyun had told you. About there being two sides of the same coin, about you being so oblivious. All this time, he knew that she had cheated on him. He knew what you thought of him, yet he had never made a move to ever explain it to you.

But why?

“As he should,” you then stated. “How you treated him was awful!”

“Only because I cheated on him a few times?” she chuckled. “Come on!”

“I’m your best friend, and yet you lied to me! You twisted and turned stories so that you’d always be the one at right! But the truth is, you’re the bad person here. Not him.”

“Now what? He’s gone from our lives. Don’t care about him.”

But the truth was, you did. Now more than about her.

That was why, an hour later, you found yourself in front of his dorm. When he opened shortly after you had knocked, you stared at him, still gasping for air as you had run the entire way here, with all the memories from last night coming back with each step.

“She’s been cheating on you,” were the only words you brought out.

“I know.”

“For how long?” you asked.

“I assume for just as long.”

You breathed in heavily, not understanding a word. “But why did you stay with her?”

Jaehyun smiled meekly. “Because I don’t think I deserve a good person like you are.”

It ran hot and cold down your back. “I… I don’t understand.”

He leaned against the door frame with crossed arms, and even though he seemed uncomfortable talking about his feelings, he still did.

“I haven’t been the best boyfriend for her most times in this relationship, I admit this openly. We weren’t really good for each other and it destroyed me to the point that I wanted to change. But when I started being the boyfriend she had wished for, it wasn’t right either and she started cheating. So I just settled with it. Because I thought I screwed up to that point where I won’t be able to make anyone happy anymore and also don’t deserve the same in return. Even though I only wanted you...”

“You douche!” You stomped with your feet on the ground.

“What?” he returned perplexed with furrowed brows.

“Everyone deserves love and to love! And you’re not different from anyone else!”

His confusion got replaced with a mild smile. “You’re so kind, y/n. That’s one of the things I like the most about you. But you’re also oblivious.”

Jaehyun pulled out his phone, scrolled through his messenger and started playing a voice message from a very familiar person.

“Why do you even care about this bitch, Jaehyun?!” In the background, you heard music and other people talking. “She’s a stupid nerd, and I’ve only befriended her because she helps me studying and listens to my complains since we’re dorm mates, so don’t even waste a single thought about this party pooper!”

You stood there as though you had been rendered motionless. Your heart had dropped to your feet.

“This is from last night when I quickly went outside again to check whether you rode away safely with your uber and she couldn’t find me directly. That’s why we argued and broke up. No, it’s not the first time she’s talked about you like this.” He put his phone away. “I thought letting you hate me would make it easier for a kind person like you to keep their distance from someone like me. Because, in the end, I will only hurt you too. But the more I started to genuinely like you, the more I felt protective towards you. I couldn’t see her speaking about you like this anymore.”

Your breathing came in hitches as your whole world suddenly crashed over you. Your best friend wasn’t your best friend. She had probably never been.

You stumbled backwards, and Jaehyun stepped forward to grab you by your arm, but you pulled it away.

“I…. I just…” you stuttered. “I have to… talk to her.”

“Sure.”

The whole way home, you only cried.

Not over Jaehyun, but over the betrayal of someone you had considered your best friend, yet had hurt you in the most painful way like no man ever could. And the fact that you had been an asshole to her to the same extent after having slept with her boyfriend the same night they had broken up was probably the final straw.

You were no saint here. You had added to your both’s downfall just as much. And it hurt much more than any heartbreak you had experienced so far.

You had to sort your life out and right now, and amongst this chaos there was no place for Jaehyun in your life.

____

You put the last vase with dried flowers on your shelf, stepped backwards to your room’s door and inspected the final set up.

“Finished!” you praised yourself.

It had taken you three months to move to a new dorm, but this was your last step to a new chapter in your life.

You hadn’t had contact with your former best friend ever since your final conversation in which you had handed the keys over to her. The many conversations before had only consisted of screams, accusations and tears.

She had admitted to saying all those things about you, but also to genuinely have come like you. You weren’t so sure whether that was real or one of her lies again. You had admitted to sleeping with Jaehyun, and she would have forgiven you for that as she hadn’t been really in love with him anymore at this point, but you were sure you didn’t want either in your life anymore.

Your best friend because she had hurt you deeply, and Jaehyun because of your burdensome history. All of you had done so many wrong things, and you were only a bundle of toxic people together, so chaotic that you were better off apart from each other.

But you didn’t want to be this toxic kind of person anymore. So you moved out and left your old life behind.

You didn’t go to that class with Jaehyun anymore, and although you missed him, the touches of your joint night still present on your skin sometimes, you wanted to move on from even the mere imaginations of him as well. You were sure that you’d find a guy just like him, but you missed him wherever you went and couldn’t help but ask yourself “what if?”

The fact that he hadn’t reached out to you either made it easier, and as summer break came and passed, and the new semester started, you had kissed two news guys already, made a new friend group and were just overall happy.

But you still missed Jaehyun dearly and all the possibilities of what could have happened if only your timing had been right in life. Even if he wasn’t the right one for you.

“Is this seat taken?”

And then, one day, there he was again. Taking the seat next to you as though no time had ever passed between the two of you, smiling that mesmerizing smile you didn’t hate.

You only stared at him, and his kind expression didn’t break. When you moved your head to the front again where the professor introduced himself, you couldn’t help but to smile too. Because this wasn’t the expression of a bad person.

People changed, and just like good traits could turn into bad traits, a bad person could turn into a good one also. And they all deserved a second chance.

You had only known the Jaehyun from your best friend’s perspective, and then also his body. But even though you had gotten a glimpse of the real Jaehyun here and there, you didn’t quite know him entirely yet.

But you wanted to. The good, the bad, the real. Jaehyun wasn’t the right one for you, but such a thing didn’t exist. What mattered were only your feelings.

Because in fact, you didn’t hate Jung Jaehyun. At all.

#jaehyun #jung jaehyun #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun smut #jaehyun x you #jaehyun x reader #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct smut #nct x reader #nct x you #kpop scnearios #kpop x you #kpop imagines #my writing #one shot

[erwinsvow]

𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟

for the 𝐝𝐞𝐛𝐚𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝 collab <3

summary: you've always been fond of your step-brother, jean, despite how much he tries to avoid spending time with you. he finally reaches his breaking point when he sees you talking to eren, though.

warnings: step-cest, slight manipulation (reader), possessive behavior, teasing + edging, fingering, oral sex (m receiving), degradation, rough sex, creampie, jean is a good boy and reader is a fiend

author's note: i hope everyone likes this!!! i'm thinking about creating a step-cest series, let me know who should be next! tagging the lovely @yeagerslut & sending a big thank you for creating this collab! <3

Jean can never really peel his eyes away from you, no matter how hard he tries. At first it was subtle glances, like staring at the exposed skin of your supple thighs from his place beside his mom, when she was first introducing you and your father to him.

His first thought, besides the fact that it’ll be nice to have a sibling in the house with him every once in a while, is that your dress is incredibly short. So short that he wonders how you’re allowed to leave the house in something like that. If it was up to him, he wouldn’t let you, that’s for sure.

He quickly remembers that it’s not up to him, and that it’s not his place to be worrying about the length of your hem. Jean tries to suppress the strange, sudden burning feeling in his chest when he thinks about you wearing something as short as that when he has his friends over. No, that won’t be allowed.

He’ll have to tell someone about it, at some point, because he can’t stand the unusual jealousy he feels stirring at the idea of one of his friends looking at you while you’re wearing that.

His thoughts are cut short when his mother tells you two to get acquainted, while your dad and her head to the kitchen to prepare dinner. Jean almost doesn’t want them to leave, doesn’t want to be left alone with you and those legs and that dress, but he doesn’t have any say in the matter.

Your first words to your new step-brother are carefully calculated. In fact, you've been deciding everything carefully. The way you did your hair, the dress you’ve chosen that’s much too short for a family dinner but it’s not like someone can stop you, even the pink lip gloss you reapplied in the car before entering the house. Everything has its purpose, its place, with one goal in mind: see how long it takes for Jean to crack.

“I’m so excited to finally have a big brother, Jean!” you let out in a cheerful, chirpy voice that doesn’t match your insidious thoughts at all. You close the bridge separating you two with a few steps, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him down into a hug.

It’s so sudden, so unforeseen that he stumbles a little, letting his tall figure be pulled by your efforts and arms wrapping around your waist for support. And before he knows it, the sweet smell of your perfume is invading all his senses and leaving him with nothing to think about except you.

He takes it all in, the lingering scent of shampoo in your hair, something fruity, he thinks off-hand, the feel of your soft skin on the back of his neck, your cheek against his, but especially the way your breasts feel against his chest.

He pulls away before you want him to, and you begrudgingly allow him to, recognizing what a challenge it’ll be. But you’re always up for a challenge.

The first few months pass by in the blink of an eye for you, and dragging on and on for him. Jean tries to avoid interactions with you since that first meeting, but it’s hard to when you’re living in the same house as him. Even harder when your bedroom is right next to his, his mother offering up his assistance to help you move boxes and get settled while she and her new husband go out to dinner.

It’s ridiculous, the way he flushes bright red when he opens boxes and suitcases filled with clothing he doesn’t want to look at, all short skirts and sun-dresses and delicate panties that he tries and fails not to stare at.

You keep your gaze away, knowing exactly which suitcase you had given him to unpack, while you organize books on the shelves of the room and sort knick-knacks.

“Won’t it be nice sharing a wall?” you comment, adjusting a frame on your nightstand and not meeting Jean’s eyes. “I think it’ll be fun to have you so close.”

Jean chokes on the water he was drinking, gasping for air and trying to process your words all at once, when you finally turn around and smile. A smile that he thinks should be illegal, given the way it’s innocence personified when you’re actually a little devil.

He leaves a little bit after that, calling out that he’s not hungry when you knock on his door for dinner, but you don’t miss the way he sounds breathless, or the panties missing from your drawers.

Every challenge gets easier, right?

It doesn’t take long for your behavior to get a little out of hand, especially when the two of you have so much alone time together. Your parents are gone all the time, frequenting dinner parties and double dates, and not coming back until late at night.

Jean tries his best to keep away. While he had once been the friend whose house was always available for sleepovers, movie nights, and the like, he was now keeping everyone away. Every time your parents’ car left the driveway, Jean followed suit, either hopping into Connie’s Jeep or walking the short distance to Sasha’s place and leaving you alone.

He was hoping no one would notice, but of course someone did, and of course that someone was Eren.

“We can’t do my place again,” Sasha says, absentmindedly reaching for the bag of chips which Connie yanks out of her reach. “My dad’s having people over.” A swat to the back of Connie’s head gets her back the snack quickly.

“How come we can’t do Jean’s place like usual?” Eren asks, reclining back in his seat and enjoying the panicked expression on Jean’s face. “There something wrong with that new sister of yours?” Jean chokes back a cough.

“No.”

“Does she always have friends over, or something?”

“No.”

“Then it’s settled,” Eren says, bringing his hands together. “Jean’s place it is.” Shit, Jean. Better come up with something quick.

“We- we can’t do my place!” he sputters out much too loudly, meeting the gaze of every person in the room.

“Any reason why, Jean-bo?” Eren asks.

“I- we- what if she’s not okay with having a bunch of loud-mouthed idiots sleeping over?” Shitty, but it’s the best he can think of when he’s so concerned with keeping everyone away from you.

If you behave like that with parents in the house, how are you gonna behave with his friends around? He doesn’t wanna take the chance to find out.

“How about you call and ask, dumb-ass?” Connie suggests, shoving his phone at him and waiting with a confused look. Jean lets out a defeated sigh, knowing how this phone call will go.

Your loud, chirpy “I’m perfectly fine with that, silly! I’ve been waiting to meet your friends..” can be heard through the phone and answers Eren’s question.

Jean searches for a reason, any reason really, to keep this sleepover from happening, but realizes that he’s failed miserably when all his friends appear, clad with pillows and overnight bags, on his front door. “So,” Eren begins, with a wolfish grin on his face that Jean wants to punch right off, “Where’s the sister? It’s only polite to say hi, right?”

As if you’d been waiting for the cue, you poke your head out from the living room, that very same innocent and sweet smile gracing your face.

“Hi,” you, stepping out to greet his friends in the foyer. “It’s so nice to meet you all.”

Jean immediately regrets the fact that he never had that conversation with you about the length of your dresses. It always sat in the back of his head somewhere, though it was incredibly easy to dismiss when you would come sit next to him on the couch, dress riding up frequently and exposing more skin that he somehow always found himself entranced by.

Today the dress of choice is yellow, and though it does, in fact, cover everything it needs to, it doesn’t leave much to the imagination either. Jean almost feels like a schoolboy again, blushing at exposed shoulders and thighs, but he can’t help it when you’re clinging right to his side as you greet his friends.

“I’m Eren-”

“Hi, I’m Connie-”

“Ignore these two, I’m Sasha-” All meet each other at once. You let out a laugh at your step-brother’s funny friends, glancing up to see his expression, but all you see are signs of anger. Your smile dims a little, but picks right back at up when you notice the way Eren looks at you, and the way Jean looks at Eren.

A plan is working itself into creation in your head before you can help it, deviousness taking a hold on you as you smile brightly in favor of Eren over Jean. Your step-brother’s been keeping his distance all this time, but you’re about ready to force his hand.

You don’t miss the way Jean’s jaw tightens, his hand clenching into a fist at his side as he guides the group to the living room. Your original plan changes quickly, following them into the space and taking your usual place on the couch as you scan the various video games laid out.

“Eren, will you sit with me?” you ask in a gentle tone, one that Jean is all too familiar with. “I don’t know this game, can I watch you play first?”

“Don’t you have work to do, or something?” Jean blurts out without thinking, his only thought centered around getting you out of the room and as far away as he can.

“What work? It’s summer,” you reply, watching your step-brother’s cheeks turn red.

You’re not helping matters for Jean, as he watches Eren sit where he usually does, teeth clenched so hard his jaw hurts. He doesn’t think he could get more angry, until he notices Eren’s hand move to your knee, squeezing quickly but lingering entirely too long. There must be steam coming out of Jean’s ears at this point, watching this interaction between you two.

“Yeah, Jean, she can stick around to watch. Anything for your little sister, right?” “I’m not that much younger than you guys, you know,” you reply with a laugh, adjusting your position on the sofa and purposefully lifting the skirt of your dress for a second before letting it settle. If someone were looking, which both Jean and Eren were, they’d catch a glimpse of black panties, and they both did.

Jean is seeing red now, standing up without realizing why, ready to yank Yeager away from you, when the doorbell rings again. It stops Jean in his tracks. “That must be Marco,” Sasha reminds, looking up from the games to glance at Jean with confusion. “Aren’t you gonna go get that?”

“Y-yeah. I’ll be right back.” Jean locks eyes with you as he leaves the room, and you dejectedly sigh, leaning away from Eren. It’s no fun to mess around with another guy if Jean’s not there to see.

He guides Marco into the living room, and you greet him with a quick smile before giving your full attention back to Eren.

The next few hours are fun for you, and unbearable for Jean. Every time he spared a glance to you, you were pouring over Eren, asking questions about the game and insisting on clarification, leaning in much too close and supporting yourself on his shoulder as he explained another trivial rule to you.

Jean didn’t like any of it, not the way you laughed sweetly and played with your hair while talking to Eren, not the way your legs were on display and Eren’s sleazy hands kept finding its way back to them, none of it. What he couldn’t stand, though, was how you didn’t shy away from his touch and found any and every way to keep it going.

He’s at his limit when you go to your bedroom after dinner to change into pajamas, knowing what to expect from your nightwear. If he’s lucky, you’ll pick a big t-shirt and shorts, but he’s seen first-hand the silky slips and cotton sets you prefer to sleep in.

Jean doesn’t think he can handle the look on Eren’s face if you come down the stairs wearing one of those, so he lets his anger do the thinking for a minute when the others are fighting over snacks and who gets the couch versus the floor.

Eren’s waiting near the bottom of the stairs, looking at something on his phone when Jean approaches and glances quickly to make sure you’re still in your room.

“You better knock it off, Yeager, I’m serious,” he says, trying to contain his anger and keep his voice down. His words come out in a low grumble that he barely recognizes, body stiff and trying his best to intimidate Eren. It doesn’t seem to be working. “Knock off what?” Eren questions nonchalantly, amused that his suspicions were proving to be correct. Looks like Jean had a little thing for his step-sister after all.

Jean’s eyes unwittingly flit to the top of the stairs again, before he forces his gaze back to Eren, but the quick gesture isn’t missed by his so-called friend.

“Oh, I see. You want me to stop being so buddy-buddy with your step-sister, huh? You better tell that to her first, you know. She’s been all over me since the minute I met her.”

The sly smirk playing on his lips only makes Jean want to cave his face in all the more.

“You better watch it, you son of a-” Eren clicks his tongue to interrupt Jean.

“Come on now, Jean, you can’t really expect me to stop. I mean, it’s not like she’s my sister, right?” Eren says, with a strange look in his eyes as though he was tempting Jean to blow his cover.

Eren walks away to rejoin everyone in the living room, leaving Jean seething by the stairs and you in your bedroom, pressed against the door and clinging onto every word.

All night you had known Jean was getting agitated by your constant flirting and touchiness with Eren, but he hadn’t been close to cracking, or so it seemed. The fact that he even confronted Eren had your heart pounding in your chest, wondering if tonight might finally be the chance you had been waiting for. You hear Jean’s heavy foot steps walk away, and you decide that it’s all or nothing, now.

You leave your room and close the door gently, dressed in a pink camisole and shorts that were sure to get Eren’s attention for long enough for Jean to finally crack.

Just as you began the descent down the stairs, you heard footsteps coming back and were greeted with Jean at the foot of the stairs.

The look in his eyes was something you hadn’t seen before, something entirely different from the reserved, hesitant Jean you had gotten so used to.

No, this Jean was someone else, a mix of want and desire and shame pooling in his pretty eyes, looking at you as though you were the prey he had finally cornered.

Before you know it, Jean is in your bedroom and your back is pressed against the door roughly as his lips stay on yours and refuse to pull away. His tongue is hot in your mouth, and his hands feel as though they’re burning your skin with the heat they are radiating, groping your ass and the soft skin of your back as he explores your body. All the things he’d wanted to do for these last few months, that he’d forced himself to repress, finally coming out.

You moan into Jean’s mouth at the sudden feel of his hands on your tits, grabbing blindly and pinching your nipple roughly and suddenly, causing the moan to turn into a loud squeal. Jean clasps his free hand over your mouth.

“Shh, now,” he begins, staring into your eyes and making your core heat up uncomfortably as you realize your little challenge was finally over. You feel the wetness between your legs growing, pussy throbbing just at seeing Jean be so dominant for once. “We don't want anyone to hear, do we?”

You shake your head quickly to answer his question, having completely forgotten about the multiple guests just a floor away. You expect Jean to pull away, to tell you that he’ll take care of you after they’re all gone, some other time, but he doesn’t.

He pulls his hand away and leads two fingers to your mouth, guiding them into your willing mouth, latching your lips around them and sucking while swirling your tongue, getting them wet as he wanted.

“You know how long I’ve wanted this? Huh? Since the day I met you, that’s how long. And you’re such a fucking tease all the time, you know how unbearable it's been?” Jean says in a deep voice, his eyes observing your mouth continuing its work. You moan around his fingers, wanting to speak but no words come out.

He pulls his fingers away and leads them straight to your throbbing pussy, running one up and down your slit teasingly as you hold back a loud moan.

“P-please, Jean, please do something, I- oh!” Jean shoves the two digits into your tight hole without any warning at all, causing your whole body to shake at the sudden fullness.

“This is what you wanted, isn’t it, you dirty slut? You wanted your big brother to get fed up and fuck you senseless, didn’t you? Say it,” he orders, fingers pumping in and out and his hand grazing your clit with every motion, causing you to moan as your body tenses. You can hardly process his words because of the pleasure you’re feeling, but his other hand finding your throat brings you back quickly.

“Say it. I won’t ask again.”

“Y-yes, Jean, I-I wanted big brother to fuck me, oh, yes-” You lose your thoughts again as his pace increases, making you squeal again before you clamp your mouth shut to make sure no one hears you. Your stomach is tensing and you know you’re so, so close, one more touch from Jean would have your orgasm washing over you like lightening spreading through your body, when he suddenly stops.

You gasp loudly at the sudden emptiness, feeling your orgasm dissipate as you buck up and clamp down against nothing at all. Jean’s fingers are in his mouth, tasting your wetness as you try to catch your breath and protest against the way he’s teasing you, but your pleas are met by deaf ears.

“Jean,” you moan desperately, clinging to his shoulders, “please, please, let me cum, please-”

“No. Filthy sluts that mess around with their big brother’s friends don’t get to cum,” he says gruffly, as you whine again and try to release yourself from his tight grip. It’s useless since he has you caged in, firm hands on your waist dragging you to the bed and throwing you on top of the soft covers.

“Please, I promise I’ll be a good girl,” you plead, using your sweetest voice and big. teary eyes to win Jean over, but it’s still useless.

“I said no,” he repeats, hovering over you and his hands finding their way to the bottom of your camisole. He pulls the skimpy top off of you quickly, revealing your tits. Your nipples harden at the sudden cool air, and Jean’s fingers find them once again, pinching and teasing as you moan into your pillow, desperately bucking your hips up for contact between your legs, to no avail. His hot mouth finds your nipple, flicking with his tongue as his hand plays with the other, before he pulls away quickly.

You whine again at the loss of stimulation, before you see Jean pulling down the band of his grey sweatpants and leaning back against the headboard.

“Prove to me that you deserve big brother’s cock,” he says, revealing his hard dick as it snaps against his stomach. “With your mouth. Now.”

You don’t need to be told twice. You reposition yourself, ass in the air and head at Jean’s crotch as you stare at his pretty, pink cock with wide eyes. You’d expected him to be big, but not like this, though you don’t have time to dwell on it as he grips it firmly and taps the angry, pink tip against your lips.

You hang your tongue out, spit collecting and falling all over his length before you finally take as much as you can into your mouth, sucking and swirling as your hands move up and down the rest that you can’t take.

“Just like that-” Jean begins before breaking into a loud moan. You pop him out of your mouth and keep stroking with your hands as you whisper for him to shush.

“What happened to being quiet, and everyone downstairs will hear, and-” You’re interrupted as Jean grips his cock and shoves it back into your mouth, gagging suddenly at the unexpected movement.

Jean stares at your obedient mouth, following his instructions without any sign of the brat he was so used to. As you cup his balls in your hand, he feels them tighten and knows he’s not gonna last much longer like this. He guides your head away from his cock, admiring the drool and spit on your face and the glassy eyes he’s longed to see.

“Jean, I wanna-”

“I don’t care what you want, sweetheart,” he says, a false sweetness in his voice that’s making you feel dizzy. “You’re gonna ride me now, you got that?”

Jean’s hands are firmly set on your hips, positioning you just as he wants as you hover above his leaking cock. You grind down quickly, desperate for friction on your throbbing clit, before Jean stops your motions with the tight grip he has on you. “Are you gonna make me repeat myself?” he questions, in a tone that makes you positive that you don't want to make him angry. You shake your head immediately, taking his dick in your hand and lining it up with your wet hole, before slowly sinking down.

“Oh, god-!” you let out, before clasping a hand over your mouth. You had never felt quite so full before, the stretching burn making heat course through your whole body, as you bottom out and clench hard. “Come on, baby, you know how long you’ve been begging for this? Don’t get shy on me now,” Jean says, and you regain your senses slowly. You start moving, up and down, just like he wants and speeding up as you feel your cunt gush against Jean.

You’re sure to be making a mess, but you can hardly care when your brain feels so cloudy and distracted at how good Jean feels inside you, and you start the grinding movement again. Jean entertains you for a minute, before grabbing your hips even tighter, nearly at a bruising grip now, and snapping his own hips to thrust into you.

You’re blabbering now, utterly senseless as Jean fucks you mercilessly. You know you’re being loud, but you just don’t care, not when Jean is hitting that one spot inside you that has you seeing stars before you know it, your hands on his shoulders and holding on for life.

“Are you close, baby? Are you gonna cum all over your brother’s big cock?” Jean teases, feeling you clench down harder and knowing he won’t be able to hold on much longer either. “Yes, yes, yes! Jean! Oh, Jean-” you finally feel the tight coil in your stomach snap, unaware of your own movements and surroundings as you focus on the pleasure Jean’s giving you. You yell out, cumming so intensely and shaking on top of Jean, twitching once more when you hear Jean groan and feel hot ropes of cum inside you.

Your throat feels dry and scratchy, heart pounding as you come down from your high. You feel Jean’s grip, much softer now, lead you off of his cock and lay you next to him on the bed. It’s a mess, and you don’t know how you’ll clean up with everyone downstairs and surely they’ve noticed you’re both still gone-but you still don’t care.

All you care about is the sound of Jean’s heart beat from your position on his chest, and the way his hands feel on your skin as he holds you close to his warm body.

“So,” he starts off quietly, “was it how you’ve been imagining it all this time?” You’re not looking at him, but you know he’s smiling.

“Mmh,” you hum contentedly, “even better.” You feel his body rumble with a laugh, and his hand reaches to cup your face and lean into you for a kiss. Just as your lips meet, you hear a sharp knock at the door.

“Might wanna hurry up, you two,” Eren calls out from the other side of the door. “The others are getting suspicious.”

#anyways.. step bro jean <3 #jean kirstein #jean x reader #jean kirstein x reader #jean kirstein smut #jean kirstein imagine #attack on titan #jean kirschtein #jean kirschtein smut #jean kirschtein imagine #tw stepcest #aot imagine #aot x reader #aot smut

[muffindaddystyles]

DENTIST THE BAD BOI

Word count: 7k

A/N: Heavily inspired from 90's rom-coms, so if your heart swoons out of loneliness it's not on me sistas -- doctor Harry my fav.

Summary: Harry's a med-student and Y/N's an art student, being neighbours with Y/N was already a living hell for Harry but when she fusses over his cat getting her cat pregnant -- he mighty looses it.

Pairing: Dentist Harry × Artist reader, Frenemies to bestfriends to lovers, platonic affection and loads of bestie fluff.

MASTERLIST, REQUEST FOR BLURBS FROM THIS FIC ARE OPEN || PART 2

“Harryyyyy!!!!” Y/N screamed at the top of her lungs staring at the small picture of ultrasound, blinking at it several times to vision herself back into reality because the more she does the more she becomes grumpy and fussy – cursing the beast of a neighbour who got her little innocent cat pregnant.

She pulled the strings of her pyjama shorts to tighten it around her and hastily towed her feet into fuzzy slippers, giving a stink of an eye to her cat “don't act so surprised you little ragamuffin!” She mouthed at her with venom (as if trippers her cat cares), stomping her way out and writes a whole book of judgements in her rattling brain upon hearing the loud music weeping through walls.

She knocks. Huffs when it goes unnoticed and this time pounds at the door, crossing her forearms infront of her chest. Not unaware and very accustomed; of happy chatter whirling around whenever she’s trying to focus how a certain recipe goes by, his mates chanting his name from outside when he’s too occupied in whatever he's sorting out inside for their arrival, clanking of beer bottles knowing they and her have a long time to go, the music dimming in the wee of night as the door closes after every fifteen minutes and it dawns at that time –-- she always get left with one option and that’s to curse him till she sleeps.

It’s every Friday and Saturday’s story.

“Max stop that before Ni asks fo’ a dummy —-,” His neck's craned to where his friends are sitting on one of the cosy spots. His jaw popping, dimples chasmic from the smirk he’s holding and Y/N gulps then arches her brow when his attention drops down at her, “Oh .... hi, could help ya?” His cocky grin irks her – bubbling a fire in her pit and an urge to twinge his ear and drag him to her apartment, to show him what he did.

“Could you help me!?” She laughs ironically, chases her frowning gaze from the ripped patches of his jeans towards where his curls are brushing his earlobes and it kind of makes her gasp which she traps in fortunately because – he’s always wearing a hoodie, beanie or his hair up in a little fountain like bun rushing through the lobby with his thick books and laptop clutched in his arms, “Yes please .. y’could help me by transferring expenses of your cat's babies every month to me —-...um could simply have them in your apartment too if the first deal’s too bad.” She shrugs. Taking a glimpse from his shoulder of his friends bunched over eachother and he toys with his bottom wet lip, brows stringing into confusion and his bicep flexes making her flutter her eyes away as he grips the knob of the door and closes it behind him.

“What d'ya mean?”

“You’re doing it on purpose right? ‘cos there’s no way —--” He cuts her groans with a snap and runs a palm down his face, “I seriously don’t know what you’re talkin' ‘bout, Y/N.” His lips tinned into a flat line, his posture now resembling her's and she slaps her forehead with the heel of her palm.

“Then you should keep tabs of your beasty minx of a cat who got my cat pregnant!” She exclaims disbelievingly to which his eyes turns saucer and he throws his sinewy arms in between them, mimics her expressions comically, “Is that my fault? Did I get your cat prego?” She blinks up at him rapidly --- he’s such a nerve puller.

“Yes it is! You didn’t get your cat desexed —-,” She stuffs her pointer against his chest and twist it with a grit, “Now he’ll have babies left and right – like a catwhore he is!!” She aerials her hands in different directions rapidly and he takes a step closer kissing his teeth together to seethe his words.

“He’s not a catwhore!”

“Kay then take the responsibility of what he did.” She mutters tapping her foot onto the carpeted floor and guppies at him like a fish when he bursts into taunting cackles, leaning to catch the door-frame before he mushes her under his weight. ”

“Ye -‐..- you’re —- you aren’t serious are ya?” His rosy eyelids snib tightly forming crinkles to where his temples meet his cheeks and she almost pouts, how much she doesn’t want to she could never cascade her expressions.

“Oh my — .... Bambi eyed wouldn’t I’ave had free him of his ball’s heaviness –-- if I’d ‘ave enough money down me pocket?” He scrunches his nose to take a breather from laughing hard.

“Don’t call me that!” She bites at him.

“You’re cute when you’re angry.” He smirks gingerly – drums his fingers against his folded bicep and presses his back to the wall tipping his chin high.

Her blush eager to creep up her neck embarrasses her further more and she hides the softness in her voice, muttering gruffly, “Shut up.” Then turns to walk back into her apartment and to slam the door at his face -- but -- his whistle for her halts her in tracks.

“Hey – Bambi, we could sign the custody of kitties if that what ye'want.”

..

Three weeks after. There was another knock on Harry’s door, Niall's head perks up and bangs against the bookshelf –- he was trying to keep the furry cat in his lap, for a good warmer but its more enamoured with the ‘clucks' of his daddy’s boots than the soft flesh of Niall’s thigh as Harry chucks his wallet in the back-pocket of his jeans (he was about to go outside and bring some food) and opens the door slightly to see through the trapping chain, “who’s it?”

“Harry ‘s me ....” The voice mousey and worried. Niall recognizes it in a hot-second, frowns and tries to gain snowy’s attention, “What did y'do again? Did ya get the pretty neighbour's cat prego twice, you fat farts.” He chuckles when snowy meows at him innocently and Harry's brows skews together into a scowl.

“Call him fat farts another time —- I dare you —--,” He howls. Throwing angry upset glares towards Niall – their bickering gets interrupted when Y/N slips her hand from the crack of door, pinches Harry’s knuckles and he squeaks, “Ow —- what the fuck!”

“Harry.” Her tone threatening.

Harry puffs out a huge sigh and reveals himself infront of her, he's not in mood to fight with her over their cats, or the parcel Harry forgot to give her which got delivered to him on accident like one of the thousand times (he never found anything freakish until now .. not that he goes through what’s inside, but the labels tell they’re mostly her art supplies), or why he’s been showering for an hour because she now isn’t left with any warm water —- because he just came back from UNI and is dust bones from having two exams in a row.

“Y/N —-,” His face reeks with exhaustion. His curls drowsy, escaping from his knit beanie and his eyes glazed with sea-foam. She kinda feels bad for disturbing him -- but – it’s an emergency and she doesn’t know where to go, except him.

His weary vision falls upon trippers tucked beneath Y/N’s arm, “Is she alright?” He scratches behind her ear and trippers gives out a pained yowl.

“No –-.. that’s why ‘m here. She’s spotting blood everywhere and –-- and I don’t have enough money ...,” She’s embarrassed to say least. Not meeting Harry’s eyes and he gazes her sincerely –- belly doing weirdly funny somersaults. He clears his throat, grogs out gathering all the information in his head from the anatomy of humans and animals he studied till now.

“It’s okay for spotting in pregnancies – but ‐-.. she looks very much in pain s' we shouldn’t risk it. I’ve a friend. She’s practicing vet -- we could take her there.” He offers. Rubbing the back of his neck and Y/N bobs her head vigorously, anything to save her trippers baby.

“Fine –-- yeah, Iemme just wear my shoes ... then we're good to go.” She mumbles. Harry hasn’t seen her demeanour flatter like this ever before, whenever she’s banging and barging through his flat it’s always taut and cold banter.

He has never seen her this defenceless.

He drops his gaze down at her feet and finds that she’s wearing cute pizza slices socksies.

..

“Is this a clinic, or weed doing zone for animals?” She didn’t try to be mean. It just happened as she takes in the wearbouts of garage, stuffed with drums and musical instruments, spray paint on walls. Harry seems unfazed though, he could be shabbier than her if he wants to –- much fouler that could make her cry.

“Told you. She’s practicing not a vet yet.” She doesn’t question him further. Grateful enough for his help. She might not admit but he isn’t that bad of guy as she once imagined him in her head.

Y/N stifles a snort when a girl with mullet shag, having a stud in her brow and the corner of her lip, attired in all black greets Harry with a hip-check, “Vas’up booger.” She grins and Harry grumbles ruffling her hair with his knuckles.

It leaves Y/N in awe. This’s what group of friends look like -- so fun and annoying, she wanted to have this since when she’s small. Sadly, it’s just her and trippers in her friend group.

“Hi there!” She waves to Y/N trying to battle Harry’s tickles away. Takes trippers from Y/N's arms and coos up at her, “hiyaa baby .. oh, she’s having lil buns inside her.” She laughs and Y/N already likes her so much. As if, she’s the main character of any vintage styled movie.

“Rori here.” She introduces herself as Harry strolls inside her kitchen to rummage through her fridge, “Y/N.” Y/N smiles –-- eyeing Harry who’s whistling and tearing the crate of orange juice open.

When Trippers purrs from a cramp, Rori snuggles her closer to herself – “Her spotting is nothing to worry about –-- maybe she’s ready to give birth. If not I’ll take her to my hospital.”

“So Harry said...” Y/N nods.

“Oohh.” Rori exclaims, wiggling her brows curiously at Harry who’s gulping down juice hungrily, “Booger got normal friends too? Thought, those were all white lies.” He almost chokes at it – downing it cautiously and blinks vividly.

“No. Just neighbours.” Yeah, there’s nothing friendly between them –-- but how it’d be like to befriend Harry. The thought makes Y/N feel snoozy and warm.

“I see.”

“Okay then! ‘m gonna keep Trippers with me for two days –-- figure out what I could do to help her and if she heals I’ll drop her by, how that sounds?”

“Sounds good!” Both, Harry and Y/N chimes together heating their cheeks up. Harry wavers his gaze away, sulking a pouty mouth and turns all stoic again.

He doesn’t want to like, Y/N. Nope. Not at all. In any case.

She’s his bedevilling, bothersome and galling neighbour who just screams at him too much for his likening.

..

“Would you like something to eat?” She asks him while walking back home and he shakes his head, so she nudges him in ribs, “oh c'mon let it be a thank you, grumpy pants.”

“’M not –-,” He was about to snap at her. Instead, he groped her wrist tightly and tugged her to his side –-- she squeals into his chest as a car passes by them swiftly, honking at them in anger.

Her hair wisps from the friction of Harry’s hoodie as she pushes herself away from him, surprisingly he smells incredibly sweet – that of vanilla and citrus musk, something very cosy and like a morning breeze.

A jolt buzzes through her spine at the fact she was about to get crushed under a vehicle but she grins up at him awkwardly, “Tofu then?” His peepers widen in shock and he slaps his forehead.

“You’re mad, know that.”

..

Harry and Y/N. Sky and earth . She sprouts buds of irises and peonies when she speaks, her touch that shines away even an intimidating person as if they're mimosa plants, those eyes --- those eyes are itself sepia of grounds on which the tiny creatures celebrates by and Harry's well ... he’s the floss of clouds hidden behind sunshine, his rains would turn her into loam and his uppish thunder would make her loathe him.

Then some gods decided to break the needles and fix it in some other clock that rotates anti-clock wise.

Now, when she’s unable to nourish her flowers he's always there to rain and stroke a tender breeze against her that makes her lush grass snuggle the roots of who she’s.

They were enemies once. Opposite to eachother in many ways but couldn’t live without eachother despite of their distances. Just like sky's a hollow sheet of nothingness without it’s dear earth.

..

What blossomed their friendship was Y/N's date with this cute boy that is in her ceramic class, (not a date if you’d ask so –-- more like a meetup at this coffee house near her UNI).

Turns out he isn’t that cute. His blunt hands wandered up Y/N’s thigh without her consent and before she could know that, he was groping at it –-- making her gasp and hit her knee against the table. She struggles to writhe out of the chair but he stitches his nails in her skin, “I’m not liking it – you better stop.” She hisses, palms sweaty and slipping trying to remove his grip from around her.

“Don’t act all stupid .. you were hitting at me for hours, you want it but wouldn’t admit.” He groans, rolling his eyes and she feels like crying –-- teeth clanking letting out a shuddering breath.

“I’ll scream.” She warns him.

“You’re not that innocent, you act like.” He smirks, sliding his hand down her insides and before he could reach further Y/N sneaked a fork from the table and stabbed it in his knuckles.

“Fuck.” He shrieks, “Bitch.” He almost screams but stops when everyone stares at him as Y/N’s chair fell against the floor and she stumbles inside the bathroom.

Locking it behind her. Her chest burns with tears. Her vision spins and her fingers shakes as she dials one number she could reach for anytime, it rings then goes to voicemail so her bitten lip wobbles and eyes turn glossy.

She again dials it. There’re noises behind, that of someone instructing and Harry was in his lecture hall when she called .. his heart drops because all he could hear is quivering breath ... it shudders to tight painful gasps and he’s collecting his stuff leaving his seat immediately the doctor who's teaching them Apiceoctomy stares Harry while speaking.

Once he’s out in hallway, “Hey? Y/n are y’there? You okay? What happened?” She bolt her eyes close pressing her head to cold tiled wall and yawps outta fear when someone pounds at the door. Harry runs towards the exist, “Y/N where are you!? ‘m coming .. whatever it’s just --.. just ...” He gripes at his curls pushing them back – his heart beating loud, “ – just stay where you’re ‘n don’t panic .. yeah? It’s okay.” He mutters. Voice soft and assuring.

Her breathing patterns back to calmness – something about him so consoling, so warm and she nods. After some minutes she’s telling him the address and gladly it’s not that far away from Harry.

When he reaches. There are several people waiting at the bathrooms door and he’s knocking on it lightly, pressing his ear to it and grabs the knob (in case he’d have to break it).

When there’s no-response from inside he gets it something’s peculiar, “Bambi. ‘s me Harry.” It clicks and unlocks and he’s tumbling inside while the others groans and disperses knowing it’s invain waiting.

He’s dishevelled. His curls in moppy condition and his eyes full of concern and worry –-- she feels awful for doing this to him.

“Were you crying? Did somethin' happen?” He frowns. Ducking a bit to meet her gaze level and she clears the clump in her throat, “Can we just leave .. please?” He couldn’t believe it’s her voice – the bubbliness and chirpiness of it died to frightened meekness.

Harry takes her hand and walks them outside, Y/N sucks in squeak when the same guy rushes to confront them and when Harry sees his injured hand -- everything pieces together and fury spikes through his veins.

His brows pinches together into a frown, his lips lifting into a scowl and his eyes darkens pitch coal like.

He grips her dainty fingers and moves her behind him protectively and his chest buffs out as he takes a step forward towering the guy – “What d'ya want?” He kisses his teeth together to grit vehemence and that guy lift his trembling hand infront of Harry.

“Look what this bitch —-,” Ah –-- he really pushed Harry’s bad button didn’t he?

Harry grabs him from collar and Y/N squeals rubbing his wrist to pull him back, no-use.

“Badmouth her or anyone —-" Harry sneers and if he'd be a cartoon character – fume would have been coming out of his ears and nose.

“Else what!?” Harry’s more of a practical person -- so he did what he's been learning for years now and breaks his nose with such force it almost knocks him out.

Y/N's still in shock. Walking behind him on jelly toes and a shiver spirals in her bone marrow when her sweat dries from the wind that’s blowing and hitting them in faces.

They wait at bus shelter, sitting side by side –-- thighs brushing now and then flustering Y/N, Moreso when he apologizes everytime.

There’s silence. Harry’s irritated groan breaks it –- he clenches and unclenches his knuckles .. the thin skin a bit bruised.

“Are you okay? I’m so sorry –-- .. ‘s my fault.” She rambles. Taking his hand to inspect it, “I shouldn’t have called you at ---..” He frowns confused and pokes her in knee conveying her to stop worrying. Because if anyone needs to be taken care of is her and wish he could just hug her and tell her that it’s not her fault – not even a tad.

“Y/n...” He gains her attention and his gaze flickers from her snotty nose towards her soaky cheeks, “Shut up.” She chuckles at that putting his palm gently back on his thigh.

“Would you like to have, noodles? I know this incredible chinese place ...” He shakes his head. His smile small and kooky, nose scrunched up as he sniffs the air – predicting a rain coming soon.

“D'we have to eat after every tragedy that happens t’you?”

“Yup, tragedies makes me hungry.” It’s her coping mechanism if she'll be honest and that’s what she’s been doing for ages.

“Who are you, Y/N?

She jumps up. Wiggling her fingers for him to take and beams sweetly, “Bambi next door?”

..

“From when did ya become s' rich?” He giggles. He finds her fucking adorable as she drags him along herself excitedly – she halts infront of the expensive restaurant –- where people dressed in all kind of luxuries and bright pearls are dinning in and she arches her brow sceptically, “Did you really think –- I’ll be able to take us here?” He shoves his hands in his jeans pocket, elevates his shoulders and smiles bashfully.

“Maybe one day, who knows?” They walk towards the chinese take out and Y/N trots backwards –-- facing him all while and rolls her eyes, “’M an artist whose half of paintings goes to trash.” Harry’s eyeballs springs out of his sockets hearing her statement and he really wants to knock some senses into this silly girl.

“Oh my --.. jeez .. those paintings are ‘s good y'divvy. They're hanging onto my walls, been enjoying them fo' free —- what the actual fuck .. really your hands are magical.” He feels annoyed and sad that she felt a need to dump them, because those were some beautiful art pieces.

(“Hmm. It has some hidden meaning beneath it, H. I’m tellin' ya.” Ni would always say. Standing infront of it for hours and hours staring at it.

“Looks like a pussy to me.” Max would quip sipping his bevy and Harry would smack him in head, “Guys how ‘bout we just see it like a fuckin' painting.” He'd grumble focusing back on his books.)

“Really?” She asks shyly and he bobs his head, “Guess you could just keep them then ...” She grins up at him taking the boxes from the cashier.

“Where are we going?”

“You’d see yourself.” She sing-songs galloping over the muddy potholes and Harry looks funny doing it with his spider long legs. Their footsteps echoes in the empty warehouse and Harry didn’t expect her to be the person – that loves finding weird places and spend time there.

“Careful there.” He murmurs. Pressing a hand to her waist when she wobbles on her feet climbing the metal stairs and Harry thinks if she was this clumsy all along or it’s from what happened at the coffee house.

“Holy shit!” He cups a hand around his mouth as the traffic bustles down on the street, “You afraid of heights?” She glances back at him from where she’s standing on the cemented edge.

“Matters. If we're about to act silly and jump, then yes.”

Warmth worms up at his chest and his adam apple bobs, he barks out a laugh when she giggles demanding him to come closer to her, “Come here then you dentist the bad boi.” He tugs the fabric of his jeans from his crotch and hikes his one knee up sitting beside her, other leg swinging in air.

He listens to her hums and happy sounds as she slurps the long noodle inside her mouth, “What you’re afraid of then Harry?” Her question catches him off-guard. Nobody has ever asked what his fears are and he might be famous for an intimidating personality just because he speaks less and owns a roaring bullet –-- he’s still very nice to talk to, but he'd rather spend his time with snowy than waste his time on orgy parties.

“Snowy’s funky farts -- they're ‘orrible!! have to leave the flat fo’ a minute.” He grins when Y/N’s head lulls back and she laughs gleefully, rolling into his side to support herself, “Oh no!” She whines when her chopsticks falls and drops onto the road poorly.

“We can share mine.” He hands her his chopsticks and she thanks him timidly, “What d'you fear?” They pass it back and forth –- his lips wrapping around them as he takes a chunky bite.

Harry tries to down the food that got stuck in his throat when she said nonchalantly, “Dying alone I guess?” He chews the veggies, grimaces and shakes his head -- puts his hand over her knee squeezing it kind-heartedly.

“You’ll not.” She feels like every tulip of light around her’s sparkling – the buzz of having his company tingling her in good way, “Promise?” She asks and Harry lifts his pinky in between them encouraging her to bring her's.

She wasn’t serious about the promise thing it was more onto sarcastic side than to sincerity.

“Promise.” His dimples caters deep and his eyes crinkles when different golden lights dances against her skin making her look prettier than she’s.

He’s gonna fulfill his promise.

..

Y/N could be sentimental given on occasions and how bad the situation’s – but she bottles it up for good amount until later, it all crushes her completely and she’s unable to stand back.

Now, when there’s eerie quietness in the bus and the world infront of her fades behind in weird shapes and forms in her head because of the speed of vehicle – her mind thought it’d be best time to remorse over what happened to her and her eyes well up at that.

Harry plucks his headphones down upon hearing her soft sniffles and turns her towards him with her shoulder, “Y/N hey ....” His voice tender and dewy as he slides his palm under her jaw and cups her cheek to wipe out her tears with the mild stroke of his thumb.

His gentleness rakes out an agonising sob from inside her and she feels like her organs are clashing together.

“Shh. Bambi you’re okay now, ‘s alright you’re here with me -- shh, ‘m so sorry love —- but it’s over now, yeah? We're going home and I’ll make you chamomile tea, could ‘ve both snowy and trippers cuddle with you while I’ll get you all warm and nice inside this new fluffy blanket I just bought! – how does that sound?” He pets her hair. Brings her closer to his chest and she keeps her nose tucked against his clavicles to stop from crying and make a show.

When she nods, suckling a wet breath he swipes a loose errand of her hair behind, “Sounds good yeah?” She just hums snuggling into him.

Her arms slowly loops around his love-handles and he stows her head under his chin -- rubs her back in circles to soothe the stiff muscles, covers her ears with the headphones he was wearing before – plays acoustic version of Landslide by Fleetwood Mac and simpers when she hiccups his name, but doesn’t respond when he answers – his ears turns pink from fond and his belly overglows with butterflies as she babbles his name till she drops into peaceful sleep.

Y/N found herself in his bed with snowy and trippers ontop of her and Harry snoring on the couch – his gangly limbs not fitting at all.

She really wanted to call him and sleep on his bed, but she drowses back to slumber.

..

“Grumpy jerk and an actual ray of sunshine. Sorry, couldn’t process it – too much.” Rori teased Harry the last time they gathered and Y/N was there too! though the true statement was claimed after her departure.

Harry’s friends couldn’t believe that he stepped out of his comfort zone and made a new cute friend, now after one year of their friendship it doesn’t feel like they’re neighbours anymore –-- it's just one big home with an alleyway in between.

“What're y'doin', moppet?” Harry chuckles picking up the half eaten packet of crisps, chewy sour candies, wrappers of oreos and the romcom CDs they were playing before.

Y/N's sprawled on her tummy. Feetsie in air and her chin secured in her palm as she looks like she’s seriously about to take an admission in med school –-- she’s concentrating real hard on the thick book under her, eyes fixated on the diagrams of teeth – it makes Harry laugh like a maniac.

“Aish. Your books, gives me an ache.” She massages her forehead, shakes her head as if she tasted something icky and pushes his book away. Harry laughs harder at her antics wrappers flying away from his grasp and he flops onto couch –-- thighs spreading wide and back sinking into the cushions.

“Where?” His lips rumbles as he tries to hold back another fits of laughter when she gets his dirty joke and pouts, lips fluttering into a smile until she bursts into giggles joining him.

“Nope. My cookie doesn’t throb like it used to sneaking on reproduction chapters in biology.” Harry roars out a cackle at that and Y/N grins fiddling with the frizz of her socks, “Heyyyy it’s not funny –- very much sad.”

He suckles a breath in, their grins achy and big, “Stuff your cookie with some jam ‘n you'll be alright.”

“You’re gross!” She fake gags. Hunches over to exaggerate the severity and scares the shit out of Harry when she gasps loudly slapping his knee, “Harry! Harry! Oh my gosh.....ahhhh!” She gallops like a bunny towards the window and gazes up at the sky with glinting eyes, “Harry look! It’s snowing.” He trots behind her with a roll of eyes knowing what’s about to come next.

When she turns around with sparkly grin, hands clasped atop her chest and tippy-toes to beg him, Harry shuts his lids, “No Muffy.” Y/N loves eating chocolate muffins –-- eating them whenever she could possibly ... and that’s how the pet name Harry decided to call her was muffy.

“Please, it would be so fun .. we could have hot chocolate afterwards.” She mumbles tugging at the hem of his chunky yarn sweater.

“Nothing’s fun about snow angles, Muffyyyy!!” He whines. Squinting down at her with one eye and finds her all slumpy, head falling downwards.

“Okie then. ‘m going to sleep.” She mutters in a meek voice pushing past him –-- but he wraps his hand around her wrist and pulls her back to himself, chuckling with wide eyes, “You’re very dramatic and annoyin’ y’know that?”

Instead, she grins bobbing her head shamelessly, pats his chest and dashes to wear his warm jacket, “Biscuits on you -- hot chocolate on me.” She tells him slipping into her shoes with the support of doorframe.

He comes closer to her and her heart thuds into her tiny ribs as he zips his jacket she’s wearing up till her neck and warns her while pulling out her hair, “If I get sick – ‘m gettin'y sick too.”

..

Harry’s waiting outside the candy shop Y/N just barged in moments ago. He refused to step inside – knowing she’ll use him as a taste tester and at the end of the day his tongue would have a mountain sugar atop his taste buds.

The spring breeze flowery and warm. He shakes his head, smiles softly watching her switch aisles and guffaws loudly catching attention of an old couple siting on the bench behind -- at her eagerness when she started chomping onto the long chewy candy right after getting it from the cashier.

“That’s g'na rot your teeth even before your forties.” He tells her taking the small bag from her and walks beside her, “Your kids are gonna hate you ...” She tells him –- stretching out the candy with her teeth.

“You sure, y'were allowed colas and candies in childhood?” He teases her prodding her side so she throws it at his chest making him laugh and he bends down to pick it up and dump it in bin.

“You’ve got a cute bum.” She whistles and Harry’s cheeks bashes with blush – turns around and wiggles herself, “How's mine?” She hums glancing back at him with cheeky grin.

“Ten by two, I guess?” He bites down a smirk when she spins to face him a bit gobsmacked, “Not even five?” She grumps chin doubling as she tries to see her bum herself.

“Six then?” He giggles enjoying how she’s getting riled up out of nowhere and she stomps away from him so he jogs to catch her, “Bambi. Was kiddin'.”

“You owe me two muffins with the amount of insults you’ve caused my poor bum.” He knuckles at her hair and she slaps him away like a feisty kitten, “I take it back –-- you’re really ten by two.”

“Oi!!!” Now, she’s running behind him. His curls blowing away and his coat ruffling with the zephyr, his head falling back with the belly-ache laughter that bounces against the bricked walls of shops.

..

It’s Friday night. Y/N is doing her laundry. Plucking out Harry’s socks from Trippers furry ear, her kitties sleeping in bassinet. Harry and Y/N have named them Tum, Tug and Truggers –-- she sits back on her heels upon hearing her door closing and hikes the small basket on her hip trudging outside —-- she didn’t had any clothes that could make her feel warm during these days – even her socks were all soggy -- so was Harry’s, now all she’s gonna do is make a blanket fort and hide in it for hours.

She knuckles at her eyes, blinking the tiredness away to see properly who’s standing in the middle of room, “Harry?” He's wearing a graduation gown and tips his hat with a sheepish smile then waves his degree infront of her, “Guess who's a proper dentist now!?” She’s frozen to her spot –- jaw slacked and eyes blown away in surprise.

“Your bad boi!” The basket falls from her hip onto the floor scaring Trippers and she whispers an, “Oh my goodness.” Before, stumbling towards him and crashes in his arms giving him a tight loving hug. He slinks his forearms around her and squishes his face into the crook of her neck, lips tickling her skin and if it was possible for him to freeze the time and cherish it for some more he'd.

“I’m so proud of you.” She mumbles into him with a grin. He feels so worthy and every hardship he faced now feels like nothing, this's how life supposed be throughout –- but best things always bores fruit for the right time.

“How about we celebrate? Just you and me.” Just you and me. It feels nice to just her and him. Makes her heart swoon. Makes her feel like skies outside are wet and pink, “Umm .. can we celebrate here? It’s okay .... “ She shifts on her feet and he furrows his brows in confusion, lips ticked up as if he’s scrutinizing her.

“You and not goin' nutters for an outing .. seems odd —-,” Then his eyes falls over the surrounding, a heating pad beside his feet – aloe fused socks hanging to get dry, a tray of chocolate muffins, kettle on the coffee table so he puts one and one together himself.

“Oh muffy —-... pizza and cuddles then?” If he wouldn’t be aware of how first few days of her period are hell for her then who would? He’s always making her pot meals and curry rice – feeds her and gets all strict when she refuses to eat anything. She looses her appetite and transforms into something ‘if zombie had a baby with vampire -- it sure looked like you’ he'd always scold her.

Even bribe her with candies. Once they were awfully painful and Y/N really didn’t want to be all dramatic not when their friends were having a good time, she doesn’t like to be a party pooper.

But, when a stinging cramp cut through her pelvis and thighs she was hunching forward with a jolt -- all teary eyes and wobbly lips. Harry left everything and rushed towards her, sitting on his knees on the floor and cupped her throat to make her look at him when she refused to, “Y/N ‘m serious -- you rather tell me what’s happening with ye’ or ‘m throwin' you at my shoulder and takin’ you hospital —... cause fuck look at you been like this since morning ....” He was rambling and Y/N felt like drilling a hole into floor and hide herself there forever.

She was mortified and embarrassed, a terrible combination.

She wasn’t able to tell him infront of all of their friends even though it’s something very normal, so everyone stared and nodded when they left they for Harry’s room.

“Bambi are you okay? I’m not even kidding something’s not —-..” She wipes her nose and tugs at his wrist trying to shush him, when he doesn’t pushes a fingers against his lips.

“Don’t worry. ‘m good --- just —-... umm I’m on my periods.” She rubs her one feet on another and his mouth fall into an ‘o' when realization hit him and his brows clinches together sternly.

He sighs running his fingers through his hair, something he does when frustrated and whumpy.

“Should’ve told me. We could have done this later ... do you want anything? I’ve got pain —--,” His words swells on his tongue when her head bumps against his chest and her hands locks around his neck, hugging him with all her gentle will because nobody has ever cared for her –-- him being so tentative to her makes her want to sob into his chest.

He warms her in all the right places.

..

“How’re you feeling on scale of one to ten?” He speaks while chewing onto the stuffed crust of pizza. They’re cosied up on the sofa while Mama Mia plays on the telly and she’s cuddled up into him, he's holding her heat pad with the grip of his forearm and she lifts her head mousey-ly from his bicep and whispers – “Eightish...? Now, you’re Dr.Styles.” He giggles at her and pushes her head back against him with his finger.

“What does my being dentist has a connection to your periods?” He dips the pads of his fingers into her pudgy love handles and squeezes them -- she giggles thinking about the joke she’s about to crack.

“You pull teeth, it’s blood and I pull out tampon so it’s —...” Harry chuckles gruntly at her and tickles her more, “Oh no. I know where it’s goin'....”

“You asked for it!” She pouts at him and he squishes her lips together as if she’s a duck toy.

Then they flump back into their cuddling position and Harry rubs her tummy in tender soothing circles, it helps her relax and his breath syncs with her and she really tries not to pay attention to her bratty screaming hormones heating her skin up – her thighs experiencing a quiver and she squeaks down a huffy whimper.

“You okay?” Harry asks. When she squirms against him and she gulps -- they don’t hide stuff from eachother so she tells him honestly, “You’re really turning me on.” Harry’s heart hiccups at that and his palms still over her thighs.

“Is that so?”

He pets her hair and tries to make her stand, “Just go to washroom and jizz one out.”

“I can’t.”

“You can’t? Why?”

“Promise me you wouldn’t make fun....” He frowns and nods bringing his pinky to make the deal.

She clutches her sweater down to her knees, cheeks rosy and mutters out in one breath – “I’ve specific days for that....” Harry really tires to. He locks up his laughs in his lungs and it aches his chest, his cheeks balloons up but at last he rolls onto floor and guffaws into his elbow.

“You said you wouldn’t make fun!!!” She whines kicking his side lightly and he grabs her ankle, “This means all those times you’d be all locked up –- oh my god, you were playing with yourself.” She folds her arms. Her nostrils flares with irritation and she doesn’t even spare him a glance.

“Pet, waiting so long .. it’s a torture to yourself.” He tells her genuinely sitting up with crossed legs and she mumbles knuckling at her eyes, “just some reasons ... horny is bad.” Now, Harry feels kind of terrible pushy person and he really wants to help her out but he’s walking on egg shells here. So, he stops asking anything.

“Rori's girlfriend is a sex therapist —-“ She becomes all fidgety at that and Harry takes in her nervousness, “It’s totally fine if you don’t want to.” He exclaims waving his hands and she gulps giving him a small nod.

“Night time fo' some grumpy muffy!” He coos, brings the blanket to her chin and his pupils dilate adorningly when she asks him, “Could I snuggle you?”

“Ofcourse.” He pecks her temple and tells her to budge over before sandwiching her between him and the sofa.

That whole night all his mind could think was why horny is bad for her?

..

Y/N was feeling overly warm and heated, a tad achy between her thighs. She vigorously tries to focus on something else but her chest is heaving at this point, even opens the windows and let the cool air hit her but no use –- so she does what have to be done in order to get rid of the throb.

She cosies herself on the bed, switches onto hentai and throws her legs in air to shimmy her sheer white panty down.

“Oh ...” Whimpers teeny-ly when her fingers brushing up her soaking pussyfolds provides her a bit relief – her soft hands wanders beneath her flimsy shirt and touches her skin in the most arousing way possible –-- tweaks her nipples and jerks up, oozing more wetness.

“Ah! Fuck.” She moans easing in two fingers at once and cramps down at them watching the hentai porn –- but it’s not enough, she’s been pushing her fingers in and out for ten minutes now—she’s unable to get to climax.

So she groans sits up and switches to domineering audios, listens to it while fingering herself hard and she has no idea from where her mind gathered these images from -- but -- soon she’s thinking about Harry’s husky rasp, his sea-foam beautiful eyes and those rosy knuckles ring clad hands —-- imagining him holding her down into mattress and pounding into her at a brutal pace, making her sit on his cock and not letting her move –-- his fingers down her petty throat —-- him spanking her ass if she let’s out any voice out and he'd roar at her beg as she'd be lurking at her tenth orgasm –---- every plausible dirty stuff with him.

She was so engulfed into making herself feel good, lost in her own headspace and imaginations that she didn’t hear footsteps approaching and it’s like she manifested him as he stands at the door-frame with blown away pupils –-- guppy mouth and she’s squealing feeling dizzy upon sitting up this quick.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck —-... sorry sorry ... “ He covers his eyes and turns to walk away but bumps his head with a thud into doorframe.

She gasps, knees up and almost shouts, “No!” making him halt mid-track and she’s on the verge of tears, red face and shaky fingers.

“Please ....”

“Stay.”

Harry’s eyes turns soft at that and he walks towards bed, licks his lips wet and brushes the loose tress of her hair away.

“You want me to stay, muffy?” He asks to make sure – she isn’t in haze and all fog minded.

“Yes. I want you to stay.” She doesn’t hesitate this time. Her words honest and full of plead, she needs him, she wants him, she wants to have him.

#been excited for this for so long 🥺 #give it as much love as possible #yahoooooooo yipeee #yipee #Harry Styles #harry styles blurb #harry styles smut #dirty harry styles imagines #harry styles one shots #harry smut #harry styles fanfiction #fluff #cute harry #harry styles #harry angst #hsh #dom harry #dentist harry × reader #dentistrry #doctor harry x artist reader #harry styles fanfic #harry styles smutty imagines #harry styles dirty one shots #naughty harry

[bitches-who-write]

How would they react if they take the blame for a mistake the character made ? (HC or anything else)

(I love your work, thank you for that )

Ask and you shall receive! Hope you enjoy!

A Helping Hand:

To say the least.. you fucked up royally.  You were in some deep shit until some unlikely guys decided to cover for you- but for a price of course.

Before we jump into it, let me give you a little background leading up to that dreaded day.

To sum you up, you’re a loner who doesn’t exactly have friends at Derry High. No one there was exactly the kind of crowd you wanted to be around, so you preferred to spend time alone but that gets really boring and lonely after a while.  That’s when you met Greta, along with her little clique of friends, Marcia and Sally.  There girls were considered the cool, popular girls.  They were also kind of feared based off their bullying reputation.

Greta basically “adopted” you into her friend group because she liked how innocent you seem.  You’re quiet, don’t talk back or expression your own opinions much so it was perfect for Greta to keep her “leader” role in the clique.

One day after class you and the girls were walking around when Greta spotted Principal’s Harold Mannion’s new Tesla sitting in the parking lot.  “The dick gave me 2 weeks of detention starting next week. I say he deserves some payback.”

Before you could even say anything, the girls pick up rocks and begin to destroy the windows.  Greta sticks her gum all into the pristine leather seats and steering wheel. “Come on you pussy!  Gonna help or not?”

Giving into the peer pressure, you join in even though deep down, you knew how wrong it was.  That's when suddenly you heard police sirens in the distance.  They girls were about to talk off but Sally tripped you on purpose so you would be caught and not them.  Marcia threw a rock at you while you were already down on the ground, surrounded by the shattered glass.  Before running off, Greta threatens you with an evil look in her eye.  “I swear to fucking God if you rat on us, I’ll make your life such a living hell.. Even if you move, I’ll come for you.”

The girls run off now, completely out of sight.  The sirens get closer and closer as you try to get up but your palms are all bloody from shards of glass stuck in them.  Suddenly, you feel a strong hand wrap around your upper arm and quickly yank you up.  You were dragged around the corner and quickly thrown into the  backseat of a car.  It all happened so quickly but once you get your bearings straight, you realize you’re with the Bower’s Gang.  You were thrown across someone's lap face down while the car takes off a million miles an hour. You nervously look up, tears in your eyes as you see Patrick smirking at you. You try to quickly get off his lap by pushing your hands into his lap to sit upright but you whimper in pain.  Your hands begin stringing with sharp pain as the blood trickles down your palms and fingers.  Henry was the first to speak up, turning in the passenger seat to look back at you.

“We saw the whole damn thing.. Didn’t think you had that in you princess.”  He scoffs with an amused look on his face.  Belch speaks up next. “Ha, but didn’t exactly plan on the escape route part, did ya?”  he laughs.  You finally speak up, your voice quiet and shaky from nerves. “I didn't want to...I just wanted to impress Greta I guess.  I thought she was my friend.”  You say, looking down at your hands, avoiding eye contact.

Patrick quickly grabs your wrist, looking at your hand in awe like he enjoys seeing the blood and deep cuts.  Not even giving you a warning, he begins to pull the glass shards out of your hand.  You cry and attempt to pull away but he holds on tightly. “Quit fuckin’ moving.”  Patrick says chuckling. “Why do you want to help me..?”  You ask, looking at Patrick who doesn’t respond as he’s concentrating on your hand.  Henry speaks now, but this time he doesn’t turn to look at you. He simply shrugs but slowly begins to smirk. “We help you… you help us in return.”

“Me? Help you guys?  What could I possibly have to help you?”

Patrick, being a creep, looks down your shirt without any shame.  Vic puts his hand on your upper thigh, gently squeezing.  “Ooh I think you know what you have.”  The guys all laugh at your dumbfounded expression and blushing cheeks as you try to tense your legs from Vic’s touch.

“Let’s just say.. We already have a record, yours is clean. One more won’t hurt ours but we’re not nice….we’re never nice.  You know that, don’t ya, Y/N?”

“So what are you implying?”  You inquire while your voice clearly shows how intimidated you are right now. Henry laughs and glances at you through the rearview mirror. “Ooh come on, Y/N. And here I thought you were a smart girl… Well incase you’ve forgotten, my dad is the head sheriff of this shit hole town. I’ll make sure you get into deeper shit than you already are… unless~” his voice trails off but you know exactly what he is alluding to.

You begin to tear up but couldn’t risk getting in trouble with the law. Even though the Bower’s Gang’s sexual ultimatum was disgusting and degrading, you decided that could be your dirty little secret rather than tarnish your entire reputation.

“We’re waiting~”  Patrick says in a mocking sing-song type voice with a big smirk.  You sigh and close your eyes.  “Fine.”

“Now give me your other hand.”  Patrick says nudging you, grabbing your other injured hand now. “You’ll need the glass taken out since  you'll be on all fours later tonight.”

#henry bowers #henry bowers x reader #patrick hocksetter x reader #patrick hockstetter #victor criss #victor criss x reader #belch huggins #belch huggins x reader #imagines #the bowers gang #the losers club #bowers gang headcanons #bowers gang x reader #it movie #it stephen king #it 2017 #pennywise #pennywise the dancing clown #horror #fandom #fanfic #requested #asks open #request are open #bowers gang

[unhealthyfanobsession]

If you’re still taking prompts:

“Keeping a secret from your best friend is difficult... but when that secret is that you're madly in love with her, it's downright impossible. At least that's what Cassian thought, until he was a little tipsy and sharing a sleeping bag with said best friend. (College, modern AU)”

With smut please?🧎🏾‍♀️🙏🏽👀🥺

Oh hey bestie! So I think maybe you had like after a college party in mind for this but I went a… different way. Also it’s only smut-adjacent because I think good smut requires a Drabble of its own I think I’m sorry. Hope you enjoy!!!

Camping.

Nesta had two weeks between the end of her internship and the beginning of her last year of college, and somehow, she let herself get dragged along on her sister’s annual camping trip.

Their whole friend group was weird and twisted around like Ivy vines with who was closest to who, who was related to who, who was dating who, who had slept with who’s father (looking at you MOR!), and Nesta tended to avoid the big group things.

But this was only Feyre, Rhys, Azriel, and the real reason she was there… Cassian. Fucking Cassian dragging her off into the woods.

Nesta loved her sisters. She did. She wouldn’t spend time with them and pretend she didn’t hate their boyfriends if she didn’t love them. (Pretending not to hate Rhys and Lucien, for Nesta, pretty much required the energy of a full time job.)

She loved her sisters. But she was there for Cassian. Because she liked Cassian. Genuinely and entirely liked him. Nesta Archeron liked another human being. They’d been best friends since eighth grade when he tried to ask her out on the swing set and she elbowed him in the jaw.

Saying yes to that middle school date would’ve been the worst mistake of her life. Because then she’d have had this short drama filled relationship with Cassian and she wouldn’t have gotten to keep him. And she really loved that she got to keep him. Even if sometimes she wished he’d been her first kiss instead of Tomas.

Anyway, when he said he was going on this camping trip Nesta realized she had to go too. Because there was no way she was spending her free time somewhere that he wasn’t. He was her person. The person she wanted to spend her free time with.

“Pathetic,” Cassian grinned, plucking the pack right off of her back as if it weighed no more than a purse. As if she hadn’t been struggling under its weight for the past 4 kilometres.

“I agreed to camping. I didn’t realize a 7 hour hike was involved to get to the damn place.”

“Two hours at most, sweetheart.” Nesta scowled, pretending, as she always did, to hate his little endearments. “And all of the best spots require a hike. Otherwise they’re overcrowded.”

“Maybe overcrowded is a good thing. Maybe overcrowded means loud and safe instead of offering ourselves up to be a bear buffet.”

“I’ll protect you from any bears, I promise, Nes.”

Nesta glared. “You’re going to fight off a bear if it tries to eat me?”

“Of course I am,” Cassian nodded. “These muscles aren’t just for show.”

Nesta laughed. “How sad I’m going to lose my best friend on this trip. Don’t worry I’ll come up with something nice for the tombstone. “Here lies Cassian. Tried to fight a bear so his muscles would have a purpose.”

“I take it back, you can get eaten by the bear.”

“I’m going to shove you in front of the bear.”

Their water break had landed then both a few hundred feet behind Feyre, Rhys, and Azriel, so Cassian kept hold of her backpack as they moved, teasing her that he was still faster with two packs than she was with none.

When they arrived at the little clearing Nesta had to admit it was beautiful. Serene. A big patch of grass surrounded by trees with a stunning view over the mountains from a clearing just a few feet away.

“Worth the hike?” Cassian asked as he set up their tent. That was the deal. If Nesta was going to camp then he had to do all of the work. Because she didn’t know how to do it. Also he had to share his tent with her because seriously? Why would she own a tent? She wasn’t a damn mountain man.

“It is really pretty.”

“I told you you’d like camping, Nesta!” Feyre called out from over fifty feet away where Azriel, Cassian, and Nesta all banded together to force her and Rhys to put their tent. Far away from the other two. Nesta was so not sleeping on the ground AND listening to her little sister have sex all night.

“Cassian?” Consciousness pulled lightly through Cassian’s sleepy mind. “Cass? CASS!” He shot bolt upright, body instinctively turning to Nesta, looking her over, checking her for injuries or any other thing that might have her yelling his name into the pitch black tent.

“Oh good, you’re awake.”

Cassian laughed. It was probably 3am and she’d just woken him up, and still he was laughing. Man he had it bad.

“What’s up, buttercup?” He made a show of flipping around to face her even though he couldn’t really see her.

“I’m freezing.”

As his eyes adjusted, Cassian looked her over with a frown. She was bundled up in her sleeping bag, wearing his sweater… which he hadn’t given her, but he had discarded in between them before he went to sleep so that was fair game he guessed. It was far from the first time in over a decade of friendship that she’d stolen his sweater, but man… it still did something to him.

“Your sleeping bag isn’t made for below freezing temperatures, is it?”

Nesta stared at him. Blinked. “No. Why would it have to be? It’s August!”

“It’s colder up in the mountains,” Cassian explained. “Especially over night.”

“Great. I’ve been brought into the mountains to freeze to death and now Eris is going to win the gold medal for our year.”

Cassian laughed, “Well I can’t allow that. The horror.” This was probably a bad idea. No it was definitely a bad idea, but the words couldn’t be stopped from leaving his mouth once they popped into his mind. “Come share mine.”

Cassian half unzipped his sleeping bag and made a show of shuffling himself over.

“You’re too big.” She said.

“Thanks I work out,” Nesta glared at his cocky smirk. “Come on Nes, it’s this or letting Eris win the gold medal.”

Nesta huffed, but unzipped her sleeping bag and crawled over to his, her legs were cool as they tangled with his in the tight sleeping bag. Cassian pulled her in, one arm wrapping instinctively around her shoulders to pull her against his chest, before he zipped the sleeping bag up again after her.

This had been such a bad idea. But what could he do? Let her freeze?

Cassian told Nesta everything, so it was already difficult enough to be keeping a secret from his best friend... but when that secret was that he had been madly in love with her since middle school, the situation became impossible. And pulling her perfect body tight up against his and wrapping her in his arms, hands moving up and down her shoulders quickly to try and warm her up, was not helping the situation.

“Thanks,” Nesta murmured sleepily. “I’m already a lot more comfortable.”

Me too, Cassian thought but would never say.

“Hey Cass?” Nesta’s voice was teasing. “What do we do if you wake up with morning wood?”

Cassian chuckled into her hair, a little bit drunk on the familiar scent of rosehips and iron will.

“Then I guess we’ll finally have sex.” He deadpanned.

Nesta’s jaw dropped. Ok. Bad joke. “I’m not having sex with you for the first time in a tent Cassian!”

Now Cassian’s jaw dropped. That was her issue with his suggestion? “I… Nesta I was joking. But… the tent is the problem? The only problem?”

“Grow a pair!” Nesta batted at him with her hand, an impressive feat considering she was all but pinned between him and the sleeping bag. “I thought this was you finally making a move.”

Cassian stared down at her. It was pitch black, but even with just the shadowy outlines of her features, he could see her exact expression in his mind.

“I wouldn’t use you freezing as a ploy to make a move, Nesta.”

“And why not?” She humphed, “it’s the perfect opportunity.”

“It’s… coercive.”

“Do I look coerced to you, Cassian?” Nesta ran her foot up his bare calf and Cassian shuddered.

“I can’t have sex with you if you’re looking for a friends with benefits, Nes.” Nesta paused her movements. “I… fuck, our friendship means so much to me and I’m so afraid to fuck it up. And if we start having sex I won’t be able to handle it being just sex and you’ll start to resent me so we just… shouldn’t go there.”

Nesta’s arms wrapped around him now, struggling to span the full width of his chest. “And if it wasn’t just sex?”

“Please don’t fuck with me about this,” he whispered. Low and Ernest in a way he almost never was.

“What?”

“Dont joke about this if you’re playing around or I don’t… you have to know, Nes. You have to know how completely in love with you I am.”

“Yeah,” Nesta tucked her head under his chin. “I know. I’ve just been waiting for you to make a move.”

It was dark. Cassian could barely see her. But there, with his arms around his best friend in the world, sharing a sleeping bag to keep her warm, Cassian nudged her out of his chest and found her lips in the pitch black.

Why had he kept this secret for so long? Everything in the world was better when he was kissing his best friend.

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