#and he really does enjoy being male on occasion but not to the extent where he would enjoy at all living full time as a male

[a-gay-bloodmage]

—Sera Was Having None of This—

Pairing: Platonic Sera x Male-Genderqueer Trevelyan, Minor/Background Blackwall x Male-Genderqueer Trevelyan

Pairing Type: M/F, Minor M/M

Words: 2,425 

Warnings: Body Dysmorphia/Gender Dysphoria, Medieval European Society Has No Word for Being Genderqueer and It's Frustrating, Mallory Still Wouldn't Use They/Them Pronouns Though, He's Still Pretty Binary in all honesty, You Pry This MlM and WlW Friendship From My Cold Dead Hands

Mallory had fallen into another depression. Well, not exactly another, but today it was worse than it'd been in a few weeks.

Ink smudged on his hand from writing in such an exhausted state, not used to having to notify people whenever he'd be out of commission for a while. All the energy seemed to be drained out of him, making the simple task of penning a few letters like crossing a mountain.

He waited for the ink to dry, eyes stuck on an open wine bottle on his nightstand.

No, he told himself. Not today. Please, Maker, Mallory, not today. He rested his face on the desk, cheek pressed against the wood. As much as he ached to drink and forget, he knew that it'd make things worse like this. He didn't have anybody to hold him back from poisoning himself with every drop of alcohol in his room—and there was certainly no shortage.

After a few more minutes of lying half on the desk, he brought himself to finally pin the note to his door, careful to make sure nobody saw him do so. He looked awful today.

"Please, do not disturb me. I am not feeling well and wish to get some rest! Thank you." It was signed with a little heart.

He all but crawled his way back up the stairs, shedding the thin blanket he'd wrapped himself in as he slid into the thick covers of his bed, tucking a large pillow between his legs and against his chest as he curled up into himself. The room was dark—curtains drawn to block out the light—but it wasn't dark enough. He could still see his hands. Any view of his flesh made him sick.

He drew the covers over his head and tried to cry out his illness.

• • ♡ • •

Sera was having none of this.

She read the note and decided that if the door was locked, she was going through Mallie's window.

She jumped onto the Inquisitor's porch, trying to ignore the fact that she'd nearly fallen a few steps back. Skyhold should really do something about its loose bricks. She knocked a couple times, waiting for Mallie to open up. Surely she wouldn't ignore knocking if it came from someone willing to scale a wall to talk.

It made Sera uneasy when Mallie didn't answer. The shut doors, the curtains covering the windows, and that note on the door all spelled trouble.

"Inky! Let me in!" No response. "I'm gonna pick your lock!" No response. "Mallie! Mallie-Mallie-Mallie!" No response.

Fuck it, she thought, pulling out a pin. I'm going in. She set to picking the locked door.

Mallie didn't respond as Sera flung open her door. The light weakly spilled into the dark room, and Sera could see the lump curled up on the bed. Despite being under a layer or three of blankets, she could tell Mallie was all curled up and pathetic.

"Mallie?" Sera went to the side of her bed, leaning forward and pressing her hands into the mattress. "Come on, what's wrong?" No response. "You drunk again?" If Mallie wasn't fighting the Breach or camping in the wilderness, she was drunk. Sera tried not to think of the implications of her habit.

"No. Go away, Sera. I don't feel good." Her tone was dangerously... wet. Like she'd been crying. A lot.

"Should I go get a healer?" She bent down slightly to be on eye-level with the blankets.

"No."

"Nonsense, dummy!" She reached forward and yanked back the covers. "Come on, fresh air!" Mallie was curled around a pillow, naked except for her loose boy-breeches. It was still weird seeing her without her makeup and tits. "Ugh, you look like shit." Mallie's eyes were red-rimmed from crying, and she was covered in a nervous sweat.

"That's why I don't want anybody fucking seeing me," she hissed, yanking the covers back over her head. "Fuck off, I'm sick."

"You depressed again?" Sera asked, pulling up the covers to look at the Inquisitor again. Mallie yanked the blankets back down over her head.

"I'm always depressed."

"No you're not," Sera smiled, jumping up onto the bed. She kicked off her shoes. "You're usually all peppy and shit."

"Still depressed, idiot," Mallie groaned. "Please, just- just leave me alone to die."

"Nope, you're not dying on my watch," she said, flopping down so that she was lying on the bed, staring at where Mallie's face was beneath the blankets. "Tell me what's wrong, dummy." She pulled the blankets up just enough to peer into the darkness, her elven eyes allowing her to see Mallie's pretty blue ones.

"Nothing, now leave." She didn't yank the blankets this time.

"Nope. Staying." Sera wiggled a little closer. "Come on, tell me what's wrong, maybe cry a little, and then we can go do fun stuff. Make you less sad." Mallie's eyes were trained on the pillow she was hugging. "We can go drinking," she offered. She huffed at Mallie's lack of response. "Really? You always wanna drink, boozer."

"Sera, stop," she choked out. "I don't wanna do anything. I don't wanna go out where people'll see me. I-" She cut herself off as she began to choke on held-back tears, lasting only a few seconds before burying her face in her wet pillow and beginning to sob. "I just want to be alone..."

"Mallie, come on..." Sera hated having such a weird friend, sometimes. Not the whole sorta-lady man thing, but the fact that yesterday, Mallie was so happy. She was drinking, and laughing, and just being happy. Mallie was so much better when she was happy. But then there were days like this, where she was sobby and depressed, locking herself away and just wallowing in misery. Of course she and Beardy are in love. They're both dumb sad-sacks.

"Sera, please, I feel awful..."

"But why?" Sera frowned at her. "You're not sick, and nothing bad happened yesterday. We were, like, sealing breaches and killing demon stuff."

"Doesn't matter," she muttered, face still buried in her gross, soaked pillow. "I feel like shit because I am shit, Sera."

"No you're not," Sera laughed. It was ridiculous to think Mallie wasn't amazing.

"Yes I am!" Her muscled arms gripped her pillow even tighter, her biceps shaking with the strain. "I'm so- so stupid and I'm wrong and I'm just- just-" A scream was hardly muffled by her pillow. Sera flinched, inhaling sharply though her teeth.

"Mallie!" She instinctively reached out and grabbed Mallie's quivering shoulder. "What is wrong with you?"

"I'm what's wrong with me!" Her pretty pink nails looked like they were about to break into the pillow. "I'm so fucking wrong!" Sera didn't know what to say. "Maker, I'm so fucking wrong..."

"No, you're not," Sera repeated, soft and nervous against the heavy sadness that seemed to emanate from the Inquisitor. "Maker, Mallie, what's wrong?"

"I can't even explain it," she muttered, still not showing her face. "I just can't."

"Try then," Sera said, instinctively shrugging. "Won't know how to help 'til you tell me, stupid." Sera internally cringed at calling the crying mess an idiot again. Whoops.

"I hate this body," she said, her tears slightly quieter, but still seeming to strangle her. "It's wrong. It hurts."

Sera puffed out a cheek, squeezing one of Mallie's well-built biceps. "You're all strong and pretty and shit."

"I don't wanna be a girl," she sobbed, the sudden, odd statement throwing Sera off.

And yet you spend your whole life putting on makeup and dresses, Sera thought. Sure, Mallie had mentioned before that she wasn't all-the-way-girly, but she still liked being called a she and dressing the part. And now you tell me that's wrong?

"I don't want a cunt and I don't want real tits, but-" She groaned into her pillow. "But I want the rest and I- I don't know..."

"So you want to be a girl with man bits," Sera said, smiling at Mallie, even if the Inquisitor couldn't see her. "Why's that making you cry, Inky?"

"I just, I... I just feel wrong," she said, finally lifting her eyes from the pillow, wiping at them with shaking hands. "I probably sound absolutely mad."

"Yeah, but I always knew you were mad," Sera laughed, rolling her eyes. She could only hope that Mallie didn't think that she was being insensitive. She just wasn't someone who knew how to be mushy-gushy sweet and sentimental.

"Sera, I get that you're trying" Mallie sighed, "but you don't get it. I can't-" She looked away from Sera, messy, silky blonde hair falling every which way across her freckled face. "I don't want to be a man. I don't want to be a woman. But I want to have... stuff from both." She bit down on her lip, whining.

"Should I go get, like, Krem or something? He's all mixed up, too," Sera suggested. She really didn't really know what else to say.

Mallie shook her head. "No he's not. He knows that he's a man. I'm... lost, I guess." 

Lost was a hard word to hear coming from Mallie. Before Sera knew about what was under her skirt, the Inquisitor was one of the most fun people she'd known, even if she had her off days. She always wore a full face of makeup, pretty outfits, and her hair was always in perfect styles. She was girly and dumb and giggly, but she could drink as much as Bull. She was never lost.

Even if it wasn't a total lie, knowing that Mallie was putting on a show of happiness for everyone made Sera hurt. It hurt her to see Mallie hurt. Mallie didn't deserve to hurt.

"You're not going to get better just by lying here," Sera whispered. Her small, rough hand squeezed Mallie's shoulder. "At least get up or something. You smell like sweat and... sad." She pursed her lips. "What happened to roses and hard liquor?" She grinned when Mallie smiled, even if it was pretty damn slight.

"You're going to be the fucking death of me," she groaned, shifting around in her bed to move the pillow away from her front.

"Based on what I just witnessed, I think you're going to be the death of you."

"Eh, probably," Mallie responded, rolling her eyes. She reached over, wrapping a big, wonderfully muscled arm around Sera's thin elven body. Sera struggled against the hold half-heartedly, still not accustomed to the bare, masculine embrace, but not wanting to leave Mallie's side. The Inquisitor mumbled something out, quiet and basically inaudible.

"Huh?"

"I said thanks," she said. "I didn't think anyone would bother with this... stuff." Mallie's body was toastier than a piping hot kettle, the comforters of her bed obviously stifling in their heat. Mallie didn't seem to mind. She had often bitched about the fact that Ferelden was far colder than the Northern Marcher city she was from. "It surprises me how okay you are with all this."

"Why wouldn't I be?" She laughed. "The sky is shitting demons and I live in a tavern in a castle now! You can cry over being a not-man-not-girl-in-between-something-or-another! It's not the weirdest thing that's happened this week!" She turned over to smile at Mallie's soft, freckled face. "Did you know the friggin' tavern bard wrote a song about me? That's weird!"

"That's why you should never sleep with an artist!" Mallie was smiling. "And I heard that song, too! What was it? Her tongue tells tales of rebellion?" She was laughing, wiping away at a tear that ran down her freckles. "Fucking brilliant!" She shook her head, grinning. "Maker's tits, Sera, how do you always manage to cheer my sorry ass up?"

"I'm just that good," she said, smirking. "Your depressed butt can't handle my goodness."

"Right about that," Mallie said, poking Sera's cheek. "Thanks again, though."

"Stop with the thanks!" Sera groaned. "Friends cheer friends up. It's a friend thing! I'm just being... friendly."

"Friendly is an oddly casual word for pulling me from the dredges of self-hatred and disgust," Mallie laughed. "Most people don't bother trying to understand."

Sera shrugged. "I'm kinda nice when I wanna be," she said. "You deserve to be treated nice, you dumb, blonde bastard."

"Oh, shut it, you dumb, blonde bastard." The two of them quickly dissolved into snort-laced giggles.

They ended up just lying there, at ease with one another's presence. Sera always liked having friends who weren't touchy-feely, who gave her space but weren't obsessed with being uptight or proper. Mallie was different. She was so painfully obsessed with touching and feeling and hugging and kissing it was a miracle not everyone in the Inquisition had smudges of her makeup on them. Sera had at first been scared of it, not used to a girl wanting to cuddle her while just being friends. It was weird having a close friend pick her up in a hug and kiss her on the cheek, leaving behind bruised lungs and pink prints on her face. Closeness was weird. But Mallie was so weird that the weirdness was just another part of Mallie that Sera considered her friend.

When she looked over, she noticed that Mallie had fallen asleep, long lashes resting quietly on wet, freckled cheeks. Breathing softly and just existing as a person. Maybe she was dreaming about something. Probably her beardy boyfriend. Sera wasn't sure why someone would want to sleep with a man who smelled like a barn and had hair that probably scratched during kisses, but Mallie seemed to like him. He made her happy, so that meant he was really good. He was pretty funny, too, when he wanted to be.

"I hope you feel better," Sera whispered, smiling over at Mallie. "When you wake up, we'll bake some us cookies, alright?" She knew Mallie couldn't hear her. She didn't really care. A promise was more a promise when it was said out loud. And she really wanted to go bake cookies with Mallie—even if neither of them were good at baking. It was just fun. And they could sit on Sera's roof and throw the burnt cookies at guards and birds, too. That was always fun.

Maybe Mallie would feel better someday. Maybe she wouldn't. But, no matter what, Sera would be there. Because friends were friends no matter how weird.

#hmm yes i liked this one #purely self-indulgent fic for friendship and character building #i really never see genderqueer ocs like mallie in this fandom so.... i wanted to just explore his dysphoria in this tbh #original content #dragon age #dragon age inquisition #fanfiction #da inquisitor #mallory trevelyan #da sera #friendship #hurt/comfort #fanficiton #i myself am not genderqueer but i did do a lot of research into this and thought about a lot of my trans friends and their experiences #and the problem i have with mallie is that despite the fact that he actually does enjoy being male and the body he has it's so tangled up #with all his femininity and the gender roles of the society he lives in (''you have to masculine to be male'' bullshit) #and his love for femininity is as much a part of his existence as his appreciation for his male anatomy #and he really does enjoy being male on occasion but not to the extent where he would enjoy at all living full time as a male #he's not a trans woman but he's not cis.... he lives in an annoying grey area he can't figure out #and without his group of trans/gq/gnc friends from ansburg he's in bad shape since he has nobody who just understands what's wrong #thankfully sera's a good girl who takes a lot of shit in stride

[lokescurse]

Hello I hope you're feeling better soon and please a - z for naoya and the nsfw alphabet hehe I'm greedy for Naoya content. Sending love and hugs

Thank you~❤️I'm doing okay, still recovering but I was well enough to finish this. I hope the wait was worth it! Some of these letters were already answered for other people, so I'll be linking back to the posts where I put them. Otherwise, here you are, a full alphabet for our favourite little menace of the Zenin clan:

These are gn!Reader friendly!

As one could expect, MDNI, thank you!~ Specific warnings under the cut.

C/D1/K/W1 & B/D2/J/N/W2

Warnings: Mentions of cum, katoptronophilia, limited aftercare, oral sex (both receiving), rough sex, mocking, degradation, humiliation, praise, choking, implied unprotected sex, creampies/cumming inside, detailed descriptions of uncircumcised dick, semi-public sex, quickies, exhibitionism, descriptions of pubic hair, use of toys, sexting, dick pics, overstimulation, dumbification, multiple orgasms, and orgasm denial. Also if there are grammar and spelling mistakes, I’m sorry but I didn’t have the energy to proof read this a million times lol.

A = Aftercare: Aftercare with Naoya is...minimalistic, really. If he’s awake enough after sex, he’ll probably want to wash off with you so that you don’t have to worry about yourself or your bed sheets in the morning, though. This can be a shower or a bath and he doesn’t really have a preference, so if you just want a quick rinse that’s fine & if you’d like to put some scented bath salts in the tub and just soak for a bit, that also works. He’s not really picky during this time (in fact, Post-orgasm Naoya is probably the most agreeable version of him lmao). Anything more than this is a bit of a toss-up, however. He’s probably just gonna want to go straight to bed or he’ll have to even skip the wash, adjust himself, and head off to whatever he has next on his daily agenda. But, if he does get to stay in bed for the night, expect him to also use whatever power he has to sleep in with you the next day.

D = Dirty secret: This is one that even a very beloved partner would have significant difficulty wrangling out of him.....but Naoya really doesn’t mind the idea of wearing lingerie, even if it’s a bit more on the feminine side. He has a great figure and he knows it. What’s more is that he loves all kinds of accessories that accentuate his naturally pretty features. So it should come as no surprise to learn that Naoya has definitely tried on a few things in front of his mirror, and somewhere deep in his computer are the selfies he took while wearing the pieces he liked most. He’s especially partial to black garments with lace trim and lots of straps & garters. Perhaps even more than the lingerie itself, he loves thinking of all the praise and compliments he’ll receive for wearing it. So his partner had better be prepared to absolutely drown him in heartfelt flattery if this is a thing they’d like to see more of in the future.

E = Experience: Naoya isn't very experienced, in my opinion. I do think that he'd be willing to have a few one-night-stands here and there just to get out some of the frustration that he can't relieve himself, but that doesn't mean he was all that well-educated on what to do. He's not innocent by any means, but being with him means being willing to understand that he'll need some actual practice to be exceptional at anything in the bedroom. His one strength is that he does have some natural talent with his tongue and fingers, though, if you get my drift. It's a learning curve, but he'll get there. F = Favorite position: I’m of the mind that Naoya enjoys the butterfly, cowgirl, classic missionary, and spooning positions best. Ultimately, these are all positions that either 1) let him see his partner’s face & body, 2) let him press his skin directly against theirs, or 3) both. A position that allows Naoya to choose between getting up close and sensual or leaning back and enjoying the view is going to land on his favourites every time. All four of these also allow him to have good control over the pace to some extent or another (which we’ll establish later as being fairly important to him). Even cowgirl gives him the option to steady his partner’s hips and push into them at his desired speed from below. An honourable mention here is doggy style, but he tends to only like it while him and his partner are facing a mirror. Like I said, he likes to be able to see everything.

G = Goofy: Naoya doesn't tend to be goofy during the act, per se, but he does enjoy bringing his normal scoundrel attitude into the bedroom with him. He's the mocking, sarcastic, and teasing sort. At times, it can also just be him playing coy in an attempt to get his partner to admit to/beg for something they want done to them. He's the kind to hear his partner say "please..." and ask "please, what?" even though he knows full well what it is they're looking for. Playful, to say the least. We’ll get more into this when we get to U.

H = Hair: While the idea of Naoya also bleaching his pubes is...interesting to me, I do think that he keeps them the natural black colour they are. As far as the cut goes, I’d say he’s very well groomed. He keeps it well-shaped and tame down there, sometimes he might even shave it completely if he’s going to be too busy to see to it properly for a while. He does also take into account what his partner likes, though, as he wants to make sure he’s as attractive to them as he can be in every possible way. Tell him what you like and, if it suits him, he’ll do his best.

I = Intimacy: Let’s face it, Naoya’s not the romantic type. While he can be tender, it’s rare that there’s a time with Naoya that isn’t punctuated by roughness or mockery to some extent or another. But that doesn’t mean that there isn’t something deeper to it at all. More accurately, Naoya’s roughness is largely due to his enthusiasm to be wrapped up with his partner in the first place. Obviously, his nigh insatiable appetite is also to blame, but it’s not the only contributor to his eagerness. When Naoya desires someone, he desires them wholly, and he seeks no one else. So while his partner probably shouldn’t expect a soft/romantic lovemaking session unless it’s their birthday or some such occasion, they should know that everything Naoya does is specifically, and only for them. It has its own inherent romance to it, even if it’s not always clear.

L = Location: There a few different locations that Naoya loves to get tangled up in. His own bed, the estate sauna, the training mats in the dojo - they're all great and he'll almost never say no to them. But there's one place that Naoya absolutely loves to defile with his partner more than any other:

His father's bed.

It's risky and he knows well that it's not always an option, but if there's ever a moment in which his partner is game and Naobito is busy elsewhere, Naoya will practically sprint there. The whole way he's biting his lip at the thought and loosening his clothes to prevent lost time. He can't help but to love the high that comes over him when he and his partner have their way in the Very Important Private Room Only for the Head of the Zenin Clan. It serves as both a reminder of his own personal motivations, as well as just a giant "Fuck You" to his father in general. The best of both worlds. M = Motivation: Naoya isn’t a difficult man to turn on, as he’s practically always at the ready. You can pretty much just vaguely allude to the concept of sex and his brows (and something else) will begin to perk up. However, I do think there are a few little things that will get him particularly entranced with his s/o. One of them is low-cut or revealing clothing. Parade yourself with confidence or tease him with a suggestive outfit and he’s already ravishing you with his eyes at every possible moment. Naoya loves beauty and ostentation, so if his partner takes the time to pick out clothes that really highlight all their best curves & features, you can bet that Naoya isn’t going to be able to keep his hands to himself. For male/masc partner’s especially, I think he also loves shows of strength. Naoya can’t help but stare when he sees taught muscle flexing, or be impressed by how easily his partner can lift heavy objects that he can’t (as I’m writing this, I’m thinking maybe maybe maybe Naoya might just have a bit of a size kink, too eheh). Finally, something that works for all kinds of s/os is that Naoya absolutely loves having his neck touched - it’s probably his most sensitive, non-erogenous body part. If the person he’s involved with at the time comes up behind him while he’s sitting on a couch or at his desk, gently grazes their fingers along the side of his neck, and whispers something suggestive in his ear, Naoya’s all but putty in their hands.

O = Oral: Oh, Naoya, Naoya, Naoya. When isn’t this man wagging his tongue? Honestly, even he knows that he really ought to put it to better use sometimes. And so he does, but you almost hate to admit that he’s so damn good at it. As one could imagine, it’s filled with a ton of teasing, though. There’s plenty of him blowing lightly on the excited skin, lots of kitten licks and soft kisses, and of course it wouldn’t be sex with Naoya without a heavy dose of “use your words” and other taunts. Ultimately, there’s not much Naoya Zenin loves more than really taking his time between his partner’s thighs and watching as they completely come unraveled beneath his diligent tongue. It’s so good to him, that he’s often caught moaning around his partner’s sex, sending pleasant vibrations all along the flesh there & enhancing the experience further. Sometimes, even, he can’t bring himself to stop after his s/o’s release finishes coating his lips, and he’ll continue to press his tongue against them until they’re jolting from overstimulation. Even then he might not stop without a safeword. Asking Naoya for oral really is a gamble in that way. There’s no telling whether he’ll leave his partner at a comfortable satisfied, or catapult them thoroughly into mindless and exhausted.

Naoya prefers to give and, honestly, if he had to choose the method to his climax, he’d just choose sex over oral if he had the time. That being said, Naoya was made for multiple orgasms. So if there’s only enough time for oral, expect for him to try and make use of every possible second. Therefore, his partner should probably make sure they rest their jaw afterwards.

P = Pace: Generally speaking, Naoya prefers the act to have a more rapid pace. As one can expect from someone with a speed-based technique, Naoya has a great capacity to keep things moving quickly. The bedroom is no exception. Even in moments where the scene is more sensual, he can’t help but raise the pace as time goes on. There’s something about the extra friction and the desperation it fills him with that makes the sex all the more passionate in his eyes. Just him and his partner, recklessly chasing their highs together. Mmm.~ ♡

Q = Quickie: Naoya loves quickies, for the most part. He kind of has to, seeing as he has to always be somewhere for some reason or another. His partner can probably expect at least one each week in-between blocks of missions, meetings, and other monotony. Sometimes it's the only kind of sex there is, which is mostly fine for him....but he does sometimes long for the more calm, slow moments when he can really take his time. A balance between the two, is really what he craves. R = Risk: Naoya is very willing to experiment and take risks, as I'm sure you've probably guessed by this point. He's down to try almost anything once, and some of his favourite acts are ones done in places where it would be easy to be caught. The things he likes are also pretty varied, and he doesn't mind going from soft to harsh or anywhere in between. Ultimately a pretty exciting partner once he starts getting the hang of things. S = Stamina: I’ve talked about this before in separate posts, but I think it’s fair to say that Naoya likely has pretty good stamina. I don’t necessarily like when other people just say that every character they write for can go multiple rounds all night because that’s not always realistic. But, since Naoya so very specifically has a speed-based ability and we know how important strength, performance, and training were to the Zenin...I don’t think it’s unfair to say in this case that, yes, Naoya can probably go for quite some time. I’m also of the mind that he cums quickly, but is not easily overstimulated, leading him to be able to hit multiple orgasms without getting too overwhelmed or tired. Ergo, this man can and will keep you up way past your bedtime if you ask nicely. ♡

T = Toys: I like to think that Naoya is pretty open to the possibility of using toys. After all, they can very easily result in a heightened experience for both him and his partner. He’d especially love using things like vibrators, clamps, and plugs because of how readily they can bring his s/o over the edge and deep into overstimulation. And since he’s someone who also likes to cum multiple times in any given session, I can definitely see them as being useful to him, too. Ultimately, I think this is a “you name it and I’ll try it,” sort of subject for Naoya. He’ll give anything a go at least once.

U = Unfair: Oh, are you kidding? I think we’ve established by now that teasing may as well be Naoya’s own, distinct love language. It’s impossible for him to refrain from denying, teasing, and openly mocking his s/o during any stage of sex. For him, it’s an integral part of the fun. He loves to make his partner beg, to mock their whimpering, to intentionally “miss” any of their sweet spots, and to give only the slightest of touches against the skin for far too long. Bringing his partner to the brink and sinking them down over and over again - having them completely at his mercy...oh yeah, he positively adores it all.

V = Volume: I think this is where I differ the most from a lot of other people who write for him, because I absolutely think that Naoya is shameless enough to fully moan whenever the mood strikes him. No hushed grunting or strangled noises with this man. He will just let it all out exactly as he feels it. After all, Naoya’s not a person to conceal his emotions as is. Why would he bother to hide what a good time he’s having? Plus, if you’ve been around my posts long enough, you know full well that I think he would also really enjoy trying to embarrass his partner by repeating their own sounds back to them when they get particularly amusing. So, really, there’s no way I would have ever told you that this man is quiet, of all things. Lmao.

W = Wild card: Naoya loves to lock his partner in place, especially when he’s close to cumming. This can sometimes be in the form of choking, but other times it’s just him pressing closer against them or wrapping an arm across the chest/sternum to anchor them to him. It’s quite the display, really. A hand or arm will come up to curl around his s/o’s body, his pace will quicken, and his breathing grows ragged. He has almost no mind left for dirty talk and simply moans readily into his partner’s ear as he reaches his peak inside them. The whole time, he’s holding them firmly in place and making sure they take every drop of his seed.

X = X-ray: He’s beauty, he’s grace. Naoya’s overall body is lean, fit, and sculpted. His musculature is more on the subtle end, but each gentle slope and rounded hill is wrapped so perfectly in smooth, even skin. His ass is especially noteworthy, as it is that somewhat square shape with divots in the sides that one can expect from a very fit build, but also with enough mass there to give the actual cheeks that lovely & grab-able bubble-like quality. Truly, it’s an enticing thing that any good partner would be loathe not to appreciate. Rotating the man a bit, let’s talk about what he’s workin’ with, you know what I’m sayin’? 👀 Naoya’s a proud member of the Pretty Cock Squad, in my opinion. It’s not particularly large or small, sitting at about a comfortable 6-6.5 inches. He is uncircumcised and almost religiously clean. His foreskin is about the same colour as the rest of him, but with a red, blushing quality to it. It’s also very smooth & soft to the touch. There are no veins visible, save for a single prominent, raised one along the underside that looks almost like a seam turned out. The head underneath is cutely rounded, very pink, and super sensitive - which is largely why he cums so fast. Overall, it’s a member to be proud of, and he’ll certainly take any opportunity he can to show it off to his partner. Hopefully they like dick pics during sexting!

Y = Yearning: Oh, boy. This man is horny 24/7, babe. It’s honestly a wonder that Naoya isn’t trying to chase his high every moment of every day. If he isn’t engaging in a sexual act himself, he’s probably thinking of the kinds he’d like to be involved in later, or ones he’ll think about with more clarity when he has a moment alone. So any time a partner even jokes about getting intimate, Naoya will be there actively hoping that they mean what they say deep down because he’s already thinking about just how he’d like to do it tonight.

Z = Zzz: Conked out immediately. Naoya can last quite a while, but no matter how high your stamina is, there comes a point where you need to stop for a bit. It's actually because Naoya is able to exert so much energy during the act that he needs sleep so badly after. Don't be surprised if you roll over to snuggle up to him sometimes only to hear him softly snoring away. Just make sure you wake him up at some point so he can brush his teeth!

Okay! With that all being said and done, I’m gonna tag you ( @depechemoth ) as well just to make sure you get it since sometimes tumblr doesn’t tell people when their asks get answered anymore + I spent a lot of time on this so I don’t want you to miss it!

#WHEW! Sorry this took so long but it was a lot to think about lmao! #Kinktober #Naoya Zenin #Naoya headcanons #Naoya smut #Naoya x Reader #Naoya x gn!Reader #smut alphabet #not sfw #not sfw text #mdni #asks #depechemoth #long post

[thewillowbends]

So I'm rewatching the first season and reading the book, and I've got Thoughts (TM)

And I've got a LOT of thoughts about what exactly Leigh Bardugo was doing here in terms of the moral and ethical statements of the narrative, so I'm putting it under the cut.

Something that's really glaring on the rewatch is just...the complete lack of compassion every character outside Aleksander has for the plight of the Grisha. The army treats treats them with reciprocal dislike, despite the fact that they couldn't even cross the Fold with the Inferni or Squallers. The tsar and tsarita treat them with condescension and disdain, clearly valuing them mainly as a utility that, historically, they've happily turned on when they felt they were growing too powerful. Baghra has just given up on trying to protect other Grisha who aren't immortal like her or Aleksander. Even Alina is guilty of othering them and has to be told off by multiple characters (Ivan, Aleksander, Baghra) to stop treating her power like a yoke instead of a responsibility and opportunity to help others.

We get this big, bad, armor-piercing line from her to Aleksander about how he doesn't care who suffers as long as he wins. Which is true to some extent, but...where is her compassion? Didn't we just spend a hefty portion of the narrative wanting to give her power away to somebody else so she can, what, be with her bestie? Meanwhile, there's, you know, an actual war going on. This isn't small stakes shit she sees going on around her. People are dying. We literally have an entire plot where we see a Grisha kidnapped, enslaved, and then sent to be put to death...who was given to the enemy by her own people!

And then we get that line from her in 1x07, only to have it followed up by her running away at the end of 1x08 for....why? Most people on the ship are dead or those that survived weren't his supporters. The people on the docks were killed, and most of them actually were traitors trying to kill Alina. Aleksander didn't lie about that. So she's running away to take the blame for some nebulous reason that's not really well explained, which is...well, what the fuck happens to the rest of the Grisha? Do we not care about how Aleksander's actions are going to reflect back on them and cause a potential backlash or something? Not to mention, nobody is on the other side to warn them that Aleksander is a threat to begin with. Even if you assumed he was dead, you'd definitely want to assume he likely had supporters back at the palace, too!

From a character writing perspective, I find it stupid that Aleksander doesn't tell her certain things because if he's such a big, bad, clever manipulator, he would absolutely be weaponizing his own pain and experiences to make her stumble in empathy. That's bad character writing to me when you're telling me somebody's an abusive villain but actually isn't using very real and effective abuser tactics. But then you also have Alina who refuses to even point out...Aleksander, I get it! I've talked to other Grisha! I see what you're going through! But this can't be the answer. You have to see this won't end well for you! Like, her own arguments make no sense to me. They're so myopic and self-involved.

One of the big things that bothers me that gets folded into Aleksander's other manipulations is this idea that he primarily associates and values her for her power, in contrast to Mal who primarily sees her for being herself. While I get the intent of that on a narrative level, in the scope of the wider story...it just literally makes no sense for Aleksander to parse those two as separate. Not when the whole reason Grisha are hunted down and killed is because they don't get the privilege of being people outside of their power. Aleksander doesn't get to be General Kirigan without also being the Darkling. Therefore, Alina doesn't get to be Sankta Alina without also being the Sun Summoner. Not a single other character gets to be relevant without being powerful.

Even on a narrative level, it makes no sense. One, it's frankly kind of sexist (when are male protagonists ever expected to be segregated from their power) and two...that's the whole reason we're telling her story! That's why she's the protagonist! She is special. She can't be separated from this unique power destiny has handed her. We don't tell stories about common, boring people; we tell stories about people who incite conflict or change. So even the mere concept to me of basing a character's identity or value around not wanting value is frankly kind of ridiculous.

There's just this strangely insidious underpinning to the story that power is inherently dangerous, even as it acknowledges that people who are NOT in power can very much suffer at the hands of those who do. So where's the moral and ethical reflection about what this means for the rest of us? What does that mean for minorities?

Think of the scene on the boat where Aleksander has Ivan kill off the nobility. The narrative wants you to see this moment as blackly humorous and awful, but stop for a moment and think about what happened there from his perspective. This is a man who spent centuries watching his people get killed and enslaved, and that isn't a false representation or manipulation from him, either. His statement is backed up both by what we see in the flashbacks and by other Grisha. Nobody created a safe haven for him and his people - he did that! He had to claw his way to the top, flatter, kill, and fuck his way through god knows how many noble houses, just to get to this moment where he could build a Little Palace. And it took him four hundred years just to get that! All while Grisha are dying!

And nobody did anything about it. Not the king, not the landholders, not even the peasantry. They were happy taking advantage of the Grisha's powers, of course, when Aleksander helped raise them up into a position of prominence, making them soldiers and enchanters. And even then, they're mocked! The army can't wait to get rid of them!

And then some noblewoman, who has enjoyed the benefits of her wealth and power, some of which were built on the backs of your people, sits there and tells you, the moment you take hold of the power everybody else has been grabbing for centuries, has the audacity to sit there and tell you that the world will hate Grisha and view him as a heretic?? When less than twenty years ago, your people were being killed right and left? When the enemy is still kidnapping and enslaving your people? When your own countrymen view you with fear and intrigue already? The audacity to sit there and frame it as a hypothetical when it's very much an actual reality still going on. Just look at the barely hidden seething rage and contempt on Barnes face when he delivers that quip about "needing to do that speech again." Motherfucker has been waiting YEARS for this moment, this revenge. And really, who can blame him...if you aren't wrapped up in the narrative wanting you to focus on just what he's doing to poor Alina.

The way the Grisha's situation is framed along with how the Darkling's descent into villainy is handled is so just incongruent to me. The pieces don't fit. You're asking me to see this man as completely irredeemable after you just showed me six episodes of Grisha being killed both for being what they are in the hopes of protecting Alina, after you showed me that Aleksander had already TRIED appealing to the protection of the crown by lending it his power, after making us see that lies and manipulation are the only way he and his mother have been able to survive as long as they have in a world that eradicated them. Where is the compassion in the narrative for that?

And okay, fine, you can do an irredeemable villain. You can do a Kilmonger-esque story with the Darkling, but that requires forcing your protagonists to empathize with the villain and change from it. But then I read ahead and...that doesn't happen?? She winds up walking away from it all at the end?? In fact, she even loses her power. And that's supposed to be a HAPPY ending? After we just saw how badly this minority was treated for how many centuries??

You know what it feels like? It feels like Leigh Bardugo read The Hunger Games, tried to replicate a Katniss, and then completely failed to understand the profound situational differences between her protagonist and that one. Katniss is a girl made extraordinary by her circumstances. She's not special herself other than the fact that she did the right thing at the right place at the right time and helped create the tipping point for a revolution that was already in the works before her. Katniss walking away from the world after makes sense because she's burned out after the war, but it also got its use from her. She helped make the revolution work; she showed up for the event while it was happening and did what she could. The situation was out of her control and power for the most part, and she still managed to rise the occasion.

Alina is NOT Katniss. She is inherently special. She is inherently powerful. She has the ability to create change and bring a new perspective that Aleksander has long given up on and which her country desperately needs. We know the world of the Hunger Games will be better because the creators of real change were always working behind the scenes behind Katniss. She was just their propaganda, their symbol. Alina is a symbol, but she is also a very real power. It's not an act of moral celebration for her to walk away from power at the end, namely because there's a whole minority class of people we still have to worry about. Putting a Grisha on the throne is no promise the country won't turn against them eventually, nor does that protect the hundreds of Grisha at the mercy of a superstitious peasantry and countries that will likely continue to invade them.

It's just...I dunno guys. It's frustrating because all the compelling elements are there in the characters and storyline, but it's like the author had a set of characters telling one story and then she had an entirely different plot in mind, and they just clash all over the place for me and become thematically inconsistent. But what really gets me is that she had seven years to think this shit over...and we're looking to get the same story all over again. Usually, it's a great thing to have an author involved in the show. This is a rare situation where I wonder if it hurts the chances of it improving.

#shadow and bone #shadow and bone spoilers #meta #long post #spoilers for the grisha trilogy too #critical analysis

[zuzuslastbraincell]

mai & the rest of the gaang:

mai & aang: a bit awkward, at first? not on aang's end of course, he's totally unflustered and in fact quite keen to get to know zuko's girlfriend and I actually think mai doesn't know what to do with this attitude, given she spent six months or so trying to hunt him down, and that's very present in her mind. hanging out with aang is a very pleasant culture shock in how he casually diaregards half the norms she was raised to strictly follow, speaking with warm enthusiasm and genuine curiosity to all, be they dish washers or tea servers or the Fire Lord's girlfriend, disregarding barriers of social class that are so carefully upheld in the Fire Nation. It's refreshing as it is bewildering. I think mai does develop a fondness for aang - although she can find him and his antics a bit much at times - and deeply respects and cares for him if only for how valued his friendship with zuko is. she claims to tolerate his goofy antics but she enjoys them far more than she lets on (his flying marble trick does elicit a rare smile, although it only appears for 0.02 seconds before returning to the most deadpan expression). I think mai respects him most politically actually - aang grows up to be an excellent diplomat, an excellent mediator who does not lose sight of the importance of various different perspectives, especially those who are forgotten or maligned, even when in circles of power.

mai & sokka: as discussed, they have a rocky start. sokka, my darling beloved sokka, has a tendency to be a bit abrasive, if we're honest, in that his humour and his puns are a little in-your-face, he has a bit of an ego aboht being the funniest/smartest person in the room, and he can take it personally when people don't like it. mai doesn't have much time for that. mai doesn't care much for sokka's jokes if only because they're attached to this ego, but also and finds the puns a bit flat (whereas she finds aang's mischief making genuinely funny, though she tries to hide it), and sokka takes this deeply personally and tries really hard to elicit a laugh from her. this just ends up with him aggravating her more. I think mai has little time for sensitive male ego games and that's partially why her and sokka clash- she won't blunt herself for him, even if he is one of zuko's closest friends. I think sokka, to his credit, doesn't dismiss her as a 'bitch' and keeps trying - in fact, the reason he comes on so strong is because he actually really wants her to like her - and i think that's because of boiling rock, and because of that alone sokka deeply respects mai on many levels (and was extremely surprised by how all that played out, and knows from that alone that mai is a layered and complex person who contains multitudes). I think what might cause mai to warm to him is politics - sokka's a pragmatist, who is skeptical of idealism without material backing and is refreshingly realistic for one of aang's friends. he keeps the fire nation on its toes at the negotiating table but he's also the first to point out when a potential proposition - when anyone's potential proposition - has more logical holes than a piece of honeycomb. i think mai appreciates that perspective. and i think they could slowly and gradually go from personality clashing to building this begrudging friendship where mai will never openly admit that she likes him, where sokka will still grate but in a way that becomes almost familiar and comfortable because of that, and where - especially in a situation where they have to work on a project together - they're a formidable team. a difficult friendship but eventually could be a dear one.

mai & katara: another personality clash that becomes a really fascinating friendship. katara wasn't there for boiling rock and is perhaps a bit cool towards mai even understanding what she did there, and the grounds where they most often meet is politics, and they largely are at odds there too. they're interesting parallels, in terms of role - both partners of powerful world leaders, but while mai positions herself as a vital support and power behind zuko's regime, furthering that goal, katara loathes to be associated with aang simply because of their romantic relationship, and does not envision their relationship to be a political one: aang and katara stand independent, but with shared values and goals (and perhaps katara simply does not understand why mai takes the position she does regarding politics and relationships). their actual political approach wildly differs, with katara being an impassioned idealist who is the most radical out of the gaang, whereas mai is a pragmatist - much more concerned about the feasibility of the radical ideas proposed and sees herself occupying the role of a much needed skeptic who asks 'okay, but how are we going to do this?' in a group of radicals. this does lead to some fierce clashes actually - some of katara's proposals appear outlandish to mai, and katara interprets this as fire nation indoctrination and ideological conditioning limiting her perspective (and honestly neither are completely wrong - mai can be on occasion perhaps too conservative and cynical and that is often because her upbringing has limited her scope, and katara sometimes isn't fully aware of how feasible her ideas are and leaves practical concerns to others). I think despite this they have such a deep respect for each other - and that's in part why their arguments are so impassioned, because they both fundamentally know the other comes from a good place. mai saved katara's brother's life at boiling rock, and katara saved mai's partner during the final agni kai - they have both proven to each other the extent of their commitment and cared for another they care about deeply. they're the biggest idealism vs. cynicism clash but honestly over time i think the respect only grows over time despite periods of hot and cold. I'd like to think if katara ever has relationship difficulties with aang, after her gran's, it's mai whose advice she might respect the most - after all, it's mai who understands what it's like to date someone who is a world leader, and mai absolutely believes in having firm, healthy boundaries and little tolerance for sufferring for men in relationships. I think given their positions they're often in dialogue and in conversation and end up building the most unexpected but also rock solid friendship. they *would* take a bullet for each other, i am sure of it.

mai & toph: i love these two. an incredible friendship. mai takes to toph the quickest out of aang's friends. it makes sense - toph comes from a similar class and upbringing as mai, albeit has taken a different life path and expresses herself completely differently, and i think while surprised and thrown at first by toph's bluntness, mai sees that and not only respects but honestly just loves how toph is a little crass, and doesn't hold decorum as the be all and end all. I think the age difference here actually makes a difference - mai very much sees toph as a younger peer (and eventually, much like zuko, a younger sibling), and while it can be sad to see someone from a younger generation express themselves freely in a way that mai feel she can't, i think her joy at seeing that takes precedence here over any mixed feelings. mai pretends not to be amused at toph's antics (but quietly delights at them) and absolutely is the person who will get the authorities that be in the fire nation to look away from whatever misdemeanours she's committing at any given time (indeed, mai as often been a partner in crime - actually, speaking of, she's been surprised before to see katara also partake with toph, and it was an ice-breaking moment for them, probably one engineered by toph). that said, mai absolutely does not patronise toph, gives it to her straight, will also tell toph when she's going too far or pushing the limit, something toph deeply respects and values. mai can see toph's wisdom and her strong intuitive understanding of how others feel, and admires that, as well as the kindness toph shows (i would not be surprised if mai looks at toph and wants to be a little more like her). I also think mai's sardonic and biting sense of humour is best appreciated by toph out of aang's friends (sokka also finds it very funny, but sokka is also trying hard to get mai to like him, as aforementioned). mai and toph vibe together *so hard* and *so well* (something i think zuko is quietly deeply grateful for, since mai hasn't clicked as well with the rest of the gaang, but also because he views toph like a little sister too).

mai & suki: right! so this one is complicated. mai does not see suki as often as the rest of the gaang - she sees katara and aang often for political reasons, at summits and keets and so on, sokka keeps in touch often and is constantly sending letters, and toph will just turn up unannounced and will stay for several weeks to "relandscape" the fire nation gardens (so she claims) every year or so. I am sticking to show canon here but reject the comics canon - there is no way in hell suki ends up as a bodyguard for zuko, the kyoshi warriors have better things to be doing. so! while mai absolutely saved the teal at boiling rock and suki knows this, the fact that they see each other relatively little mean things are a bit... cool between them? Not quite cold, but there's a degree of awkwardness that mai works past with the others that takes longer with suki. I honestly don't know if suki knows how she should feel about mai? like ty lee not only helped at boiling rock but then went on to work with the warriors and suki very much sees someone who wants to prove herself and right those wrongs in ty lee (as well as someone who is running away but. that's another post). mai completed step 1 and 2 with boiling rock, but hasn't... done anything after that. and on paper they're cool and she knows it but... idk if she knows how to feel? it's a bit weird. a bit awkward and weird. it's possible suki holds more of a grudge than she's willing to admit (she's been most directly wronged by mai and ty lee after all) and the fact that mai has returned to the fire nation, and been, according to katara, disappointingly conservative at times, makes her question what boiling rock meant. suki is cordial and professional around mai but doesn't really know her that well and doesn't trust her as much as the others. mai doesn't particularly care either way and will take or leave friendship with suki (though mai, to be clear, does respect suki immensely as a warrior). the key factor here is ty lee, honestly. i think the two of them could have an excellent relationship if so inclined but it would apmost definitely be due to ty lee trying to prod them into getting along and hanging out and getting to know each other - because i think they're both practical minded, no-nonsense girls who are exceptionally skilled in martial arts and if nothing else they could bond theough sparring sessions, but i think they'd also just get along splendidly if they had the chance. suki just doesn't quite trust mai and mai making those personal amends isn't a priority when she's trying to stop zuko running the fire nation into the ground.

#mai #aang #sokka #katara #toph #suki #this is SO long but please appreciate it

[callmemythicalminx]

Birds and the Bees 4- DBH Connor x Reader

Can be read as a stand alone!

Fandom: Detroit:Become Human

Warning: Talking ‘bout sex, Awkwardness

Summary: Now that you and Connor have been doing ‘The Devil’s Tango’ for a few months now, you’ve noticed something recently that seems too insane to be true. It’s time for you to see if it’s actually possible. 

A/N: I had to write another part of BATB for my first fanfic back after being away for so long. You guys really love this series and it’s one of my favourites too. Every since finishing part 3.5, I always wanted to add more as there’s definitely more ideas to be told with Connor and his innocense. I feel like this might be the last one, but who knows, I might write more in the future...

-----------------

What. The. Fuck! 

This is actually happening. The stick in your hands confirms it- you’re pregnant. For the past two months, you’d noticed that you’d missed a few periods, nearly every morning waking up with a trip to the bathroom to throw up and your tiredness had been getting worse everyday too. You’d had initial ideas that it might just be stress or your irregular cycle making you feel ill, but eventually you had to come to the absolutely insane idea that you may actually be pregnant with Connor’s baby. 

You’d tried to put off taking a test because your mind refused to believe this could be happening. Not that you don’t want a kid, you’d love to have little versions of Connor and yourself running around. But you want kids much further in the future. And also, there’s the teeny tiny odd question of how the hell this has happened! You’re human. Connor is an android. For this exact reason, the two of you haven’t been bothering with protection with all the sex you’ve been having, as you’re both clean and your boyfriend is infertile- or so you thought. 

You don’t even know how he’s going to react to this. Will he be happy or sad? And how is everyone else going to react? Yourself and Connor have only been dating for over a year, so it’s much too soon to be having children. You take in a deep breath, sighing as you move your hands down to your stomach.

“I don’t know how you got in there little Floobie, but here you are. God, I hope your Daddy is gonna be okay with this”.

You walk into the living room to see Connor seated on the couch trying to complete one of his puzzles, the stick containing the proof of your future feeling like a burning weight in your sweaty palm as you approach him. 

“Connor? I- I uh- I have something I need to show you” You announce, breaking him from his deep concentration as he stares at the pieces in his hand.

“Y/N? Is everything alright? You look really pale and I can detect your temperature rising rapidly”.

You let out a short laugh, walking forward to rest your free hand on his arm as you take a seat beside him. “I’m fine Connor, I’m just a little nervous. I’ve just found out some big news”. He opens his mouth to question you, but your worried look has him stopping short. Instead of telling him, you decide to instead place the test in his hand so he can see it for himself.

As you move to do so, a million thoughts race through Connor’s mind. Are you sick? Are you leaving him? Are you finally gonna get a dog and you’re putting a collar in his hand? With trepidation, he opens his palm as your closed hand begins to open, his eyes flickering quickly as he tries to figure out what you’re about to give him. When the light weight of the stick falls into his hand, his eyebrows scrunch together in confusion and he tilts his head slightly to the side. You hold your breath as he brings the test closer to his face, his face tilting (nearly touching his shoulder now) as he inspects it. 

You wait for a reaction, a smile or a frown, anything. But he just continues to look at it. You begin to fear the worse when he finally looks up at you and-

“It’s not working”.

You copy his earlier movement as your own head now turns in confusion, looking at Connor's oddly very calm face. 

“What-what do you mean? I just used it. I just used three of them actually to make sure it was right”.

“So you are ill then? Y/N, darling, you should have just come to me, you didn’t need to waste your money buying these things. I am quite advanced with this sort of health observation, thanks to Cyberlife, but you already know that. Which is why I don’t understand why you’d-”.

“Wait, hold on Connor, what do you think this actually is” You ask, incredulously.

 “Um… A thermometer. As I said darling, it’s quite easy for me to simply look at you and take an accurate reading of your temperature, in fact I’ve noticed recently-”.

“Connor I’m pregnant”. 

He stops for just a moment. Then…

“Oh yes, I already know. Like I was saying, I’ve noticed recently that your bodily readings have been different than usual these past few months and on more than one occasion, I have detected that you’ve been sick in the mornings and hid it from me. I was getting so worried that I just decided to do a full body scan while you were sleeping one night and that’s when I realised there was new life growing inside you”.

“Connor… I-I… You... You knew I was pregnant?! W- why didn’t you tell me?”.

“I thought you already knew? Because of your periods? When a woman discontinues having a monthly release of blood, is it clear to see that she’s pregnant with new life. That and you haven’t been buying any new sanitary products or telling me to go out on calorie hauls everytime you go through that specific time”.

You breathe a deep sigh, of both relief and shock. In fairness, you probably should have realised Connor would have been able to sense you were pregnant- he is the most advanced detective android there is. You guess that your disbelieving of the possibility of this happening also overlooked the fact that your boyfriend is a robot genius.

“If you already thought I was pregnant, did you not question why I hadn’t told you?”

He looks away sheepishly, lifting his hand to scratch the back of his neck. “I thought this was something that women just deal with on their own, the male doesn’t really do much in most cases of animals. The female is the one who cares for the baby with her body, the male is just there to protect and keep them both safe. So I thought it was just a way for you to keep ‘the bun in the oven’ to make sure you’re looking after it okay”. 

You blink. You blink again. Then you let out a small laugh and bury your face in your hands shaking your head. That has to be the weirdest thing to come out of your boyfriend's mouth, even after everything he’s said these past few months. When you look back up at Connor again, you see him looking at you, head titled again and you let out another laugh, leaning up to give him a quick kiss. 

“Oh Connor… We’re not animals, even though we do act like them sometimes, especially rabbits,” You let out another small laugh, while Connor smiles nodding in agreement “, Couples bring their babies into the world together, supporting each other. Granted the woman does do pretty much all of the work, but the man doesn’t just ‘protect’ and keep them safe, though it is appreciated. They help keep the mother healthy, comfortable, relaxed, loved- like you will right? You do want this baby don’t you Connor?”

“Of course, this is what I’ve wanted since we first made love”.

“Wait… what?”.

“Well, ever since you told me that sex is primarliy to create new life, I have been questioning Cyberlife about installing a new function within me to make me fertile. Though I have been quite enjoying our love making, I still haven’t been able to get the thought out of my head that we haven’t been doing it properly. So thankfully, Cyberlife agreed, on the grounds that it will be a good step in the right direction of progressing human-android relations”.

“So when did you become fertile?”.

“About half a year ago, maybe more”.

“Jesus, Connor, we’ve been having so much sex, it’ll be a wonder if I’m not pregant with twins”.

“I know, I’m surprised it took that long for you to become pregnant. And, statistically speaking, twins are only 3-4 out of every 1000 births, and there are many contributing factors. Sex can contribute to some extent, but it in our case it seems to have helped massively. Just last night, I did a scan again and saw that there are in fact two life forms inside you- how did you know darling?”

“Only 3-4 out of every 1000 births, eh? Well, that’s- WAIT WHAT?!?”

---------------------

“What the fuck?! Twins” Hank utters as he places his half eaten burger down on his arm rest. 

To be honest, it probably wasn’t the best idea for you and Connor to tell him that you're having two children at this specific moment in time, eating the food that you had brought him for dinner to help ease this situation. The smarter thing to do would have been to tell him before, then give him the burger and drink from his favourite takeaway to calm him down. But as you sit there next to Connor with guilty smiles on your faces as you look at a horrified Hank who looks like he’s gonna be sick, you definitely know you should have told him sooner. 

“Wait, wait, wait, how is this even possible?! You’re an android and Y/N’s human, how does that work?”

You begrudgingly reply “It’s a long story”.

Connor however has no shame and immediately launches into re-telling the story of how you two began having sex. You have no power to stop him as you know this story is getting told no matter what because he is Connor afterall, so you simply sit back and stare down at your wine glass in embarrassment, feeling like you’ve been caught with your hand in the cookie jar. 

Every once in a while, you’ll look up and see Hank growing progressively more green as your boyfriend retells how he first asked about sex and then anal, and then your many different sexual escapades including the one where he was in a meeting with Amanada, and then finally how you got pregant. Connor, still as innocent as ever, goes into great, unneeded detail not realising that this isn’t something he should really be telling his dad. Even Sumo looks sick, paws nearly over his ears as he lays at your feet. 

Finally after some time to reflect on what has just been said to him, Hank, looking equivalent to a cucumber in colour and looking faint, mumbles “So you two rabbits have been doing it everywhere huh?”.

As Connor happily nods in response, you sit in shame, taking a much needed gulp of wine, then another as Hank takes a big sip of his own drink.

 “We even did it on your desk.

Wine. Soda. Everywhere. Again.

*Sigh*

-----------------

A/N: I realise a year later that I wrote the reader to be drinking alcohol during this... while she's pregnant. Don't drink if you're pregnant fellas, my dumbass forgot that 😌

#dbh connor imagine #dbh connor x reader #DBH #detroit connor #detroit become human #detroit become human connor #detroit become human connor imagine #detroit become human connor x reader #writtenbyme #connor x reader #dbh hank #dbh imagine #dbh x reader #detroit become human hank #dbh connor

[yeochikin]

[ 13:16 ]

"well, if it isn't ms. amaryllis."

y/n's shoulders flinched ever so slightly at the sudden voice suddenly appearing behind her during the brief moment of admiring flowers, sitting prettily in their pots, before looking behind her. there, stood her best friend, florist!mingi with his usual bright grin plastered over his lips.

y/n took the short opportunity to glance over at the said male. he was dressed in his usual getup, a plain yellow sweater paired with washed denim jeans, an apron over the two garments, and the circle rimmed glasses hanging on the bridge of his nose. she noticed a few dirt stains on the said apron, and some were even on his cheek. judging by the soil, he must've been tending the flowers while y/n was busy looking through the various types of plants. maybe even before she came.

"and if it isn't mr. sunflower!" she happily greeted, bouncing up on the balls of her feet once she stood in front of him.the nickname never failed to make the tall man's cheeks grow a faint shade of pink despite the growing grin painting over his features, no matter how many times she had called him that.

being a florist and having the little business handed down from his grandparents, mingi had studied the meaning of flowers which he had found the joy in to the extent of excitedly associating each flower to his friends, y/n included. but y/n, on the other hand, was still quite new to this world of flowers along with their certain meanings. all her life, she merely thought all flowers were beautiful in their own way and thought it would be good gifts for any occasion, not even realising what it could mean.

it was when she met mingi that she finally understood what each flower represented. from then on, y/n and mingi would always spend their weekends at each other's house to learn new meanings, the male mostly doing the teaching while y/n just listened intently next to him with eyes full of curiosity and interest. from all the learning, comes a tight bond between the two of them. they're practically attached to the hip wherever they go!

"what brings you here today?" he asked, using a napkin to wipe away the dirt off of his cheek.

"i'd like to buy a small bouquet of roses. do you have any?"

her question caught mingi off guard, making him emit a low chortle before leading her in further into the shop, where the little station meant for bouquets was at.

"ah, got someone you've been eyeing on? is that why you wanna give them this bouquet?"

roses. everyone knew what roses meant in the language of flowers. heck, even the ones who never learned the meaning would know about this particular flower. it would be a lie to say that mingi wasn't jealous even in the slightest. he had somehow developed a little crush towards the girl, not knowing it would somehow grow whenever she looked up at him with her big and jovial eyes, her cute little laugh whenever she made a mistake with the flowers' meanings, the way she bit her lip when concentrating on her notes, and even the way she scrunched her nose whenever she was flustered.

though he did what he did best whenever y/n had come up to him to talk about her crushes.

bury his feelings deep down in his chest.

"you could say that. i think... the feelings for him have grown rather apparent after the years of knowing him." she mumbled, sitting on the stool as her doe eyes watched the way his nimble fingers worked on the bouquet she had requested.

with that, mingi's eyebrows furrowed. a few years? he's her best friend, and of course, the first one she turns to whenever she had boy problems. could it be that he had missed something of some sort? has she been talking about another boy with her other friends?

brushing the thought off, mingi tried to remain as neutral as possible in the current situation, taping the wrapper around the flowers with gentle fingers and intent eyes. inspecting the bouquet for a few times, he carefully handed them to her, smiling gently upon seeing y/n's face brightening up.

"do i know the guy?" he inquired, leaning his elbows on the table with his eyebrows raised.

"you know him very well." y/n responded, somehow squirming in her seat as if she was nervous about something, judging by the way her nose was scrunching up.

someone he knew very well? could it be yunho? well, mingi wouldn't even deny. yunho's really good looking, and the puppyish look on his face whenever he was excited never failed to make everyone swoon and coo over him. but then again, yunho is already dating someone. and obviously y/n isn't the type to steal someone away.

"okay, you got me confused there. we have almost the same circle of friends. who is i-"

before his sentence was finished, a bouquet of roses was pointed towards him, the end of the bouquet being held by a rather flustered y/n, cheeks almost as red as the said flowers.

"it's you. i have feelings for you." the young woman bashfully muttered, teeth sinking down on the plush muscle of her lower tier.

silence.

silence hung over the two. mingi staring down at her with wide eyes and jaw dropped, was he dreaming? no, the smell of soil and roses were enough to tell him that this in fact was not a dream.

seeing how the male was silent, y/n was about to think it was some sort of rejection, getting up from the stool and emitting small apologies to the taller male in front of her, already turning around to leave the place. and probably never coming back to the shop.

it was then a large hand grabbed onto her wrist, turned her petite frame around, and pulled her into a tight embrace. mingi's cheek nuzzled against the top of her head with a large beam plastered over his brims. the actions were enough to make y/n feel the heavy weight lift off of her shoulders, immediately returning the embrace with her own, hearing mingi softly whisper into her ear.

"i have feelings for you too."

a/n: wow this was kinda long. and yes, i am having mingi feels. how can i not when he looks like an excited baby despite being tall and will most probably accidentally step on me as if i was an ant? 😔✌️fjdjdjd also, please forgive me if i have the wrong meanings bcs i am also a big dumb baby when it comes to flowers 👉👈 anyways, hope you enjoyed reading this! and again, so sorry for any mistakes!

#ateez writing #ateez drabbles #ateez fanfic #ateez blurbs #ateez reactions #ateez oneshot #ateez x reader #ateez scenarios #ateez au #ateez #ateez imagines #ateez mingi #mingi scenarios #song mingi #ateez song mingi #ateez fluff #kpop #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #ateez timestamp #kpop drabbles #colly's writings

[megacovenimagines]

👀Part 1 of 3: I love your blog 🙀💕 I was lurking all over it last night. Would I be able to get a male match up please? I'm female, with long green hair side shaved. My hair is very curly naturally but I usually straighten it otherwise it kind of gives off Krusty the clown vibes.. I'm a virgo. I have a few piercings and tattoos. I'm very confident. I love to joke around and make my friends laugh. I like to be around people who can make me laugh too.

♡ Thank you very much I greatly appreciate that ♡

(★ Parts 2 & 3 of info is posted at the bottom of this post.)

❣ Your Match is Gabriel

Gabriel is very easy going, protective, caring and fun loving, he tends to make light out of most situations and can become bored easily. He doesn’t push a relationship on you but things can develop fairly quickly with him simply because he tends to get straight to the point, he won’t really like beating around the bush or not knowing where he stands with you. But he won’t push or pressure you into anything you aren’t comfortable or ready for, if you seem uncomfortable with anything at any point, he eases up a lot or slow things down in the relationship without you even needing to say anything.

He can be kind of hard to figure out or pin down initially because he can seem uninterested in an actual relationship, but that’s not really the case it’s just that he can be fairly emotionally guarded and may even seem to try and keep you at arm’s length or deflect questions with humor. 

This is because he worries if he gets close to you or falls in love with you, he could put you in danger, you could get hurt or maybe you could betray him, he’s been hurt before which makes him cautious now. But it doesn’t actually take very long for him to begin falling for you and he’ll slowly start making his feelings for you pretty clear, but he won’t straight up confess his feelings for you openly unless he absolutely has to. Like if you question him about his feelings or if you threaten to leave, then he’ll feel like he has no choice but to be completely honest with you.

He is very protective over you and will go to great lengths to keep you safe, he can become very serious and spiteful towards anyone who does you wrong or even criticizes you. Even to the extent of being rather cruel to people even for rather minor things, but that’s just how protective he can be over you and will feel the need to really send a message to anyone who messes with you. Even if you can handle yourself and stand up for yourself, he’ll let you, but is very likely to still get revenge on them behind your back and you may never even find out about it. However; you can kind of be the same way by going out of your way to be mean to people your friends don’t like if you know it could make them feel better. Gabriel can just take things a little further than you might and be a bit more aggressive or hostile.

He adores your looks and style from your hair style and color to your piercings and tattoos, but at the same time he doesn’t make a big deal about it either. He’s not going to rave about how cool or beautiful you are because of your hair and tattoos; he’ll just tell you how beautiful and cool you are as a whole. Which he will compliment you pretty frequently and at random times, you won’t even have to change how you look or anything to receive a compliment because he always adores you and isn’t afraid to tell you. He will show curiosity about your appearance preferences though, maybe asking you when you got your tattoos and piercings, why you wanted them, where the ideas for your tattoos came from etc, and this is just because he’ll want to know more about you.

You are both very confident and enjoy having a good time, making others laugh and being around people who can make you laugh. This is just one of the reasons the two of you will get along really well, because if you’re feeling down, he will try to cheer you up and make you laugh and you’ll do the same for him. He doesn’t like being serious for too long or being upset which is why he generally is very upbeat and easy going, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be calm and serious. When it comes to serious matters, he can set aside his immature and joking nature, he is a really good listener when he wants to be especially when it comes to you. He can also be very supportive and comforting towards you he won’t like seeing you sad or upset, and if there’s something you need to vent about or talk to him about, he can be very patient and hear you out. He may not always be the best at giving advice especially depending on what your problems are, but he will always be there for you to talk to and vent your frustrations.

He’ll press you to open up to him and tell him what’s on your mind because he is very good at picking up on body language and reading you like a book; he can tell within a few seconds if something is off. He can go from very happy and cheerful to serious when he picks up on something being not right with you, even if you think you are doing a great job at hiding it, he’ll still see through you and won’t drop it until you tell him what’s going on. Even if you try to make fun of your situation or joke about things to lighten the situation, he won’t let you get away with it, and he can tell when something serious happened and your mentally/emotionally hurt versus you’re just having a bad day. 

This means days when you are feeling down or depressed, he’ll have your back and do what he can to help you through your depression, whether it’s trying to cheer you up, listening to you or just lying around quietly with you all day, he’ll do what he can to help you through it. This also makes him very attentive to you and even quite clingy at times, even more so if he’s bored or if you’re busy and wants your attention. He pays a lot of attention to you in every way, showing an interest in you, your hobbies, your interests, your appearance, etc. He can even be a little overbearing at times but he likes spending time with you and showering you with attention, especially if he learns you actually enjoy the attention.

Gabriel will show a genuine curiosity in your hobbies especially the more unique hobbies or skills you have such as fire eating, he’ll like to see you do it as well as have real questions about why you started it, when you got into it and such. He genuinely does take an interest in you and will like learning about you as a whole, what made you turn out the way you are, why you like the things you like, which can make him ask a lot of deep and personal questions sometimes at completely random times. But it can also make him see kind of nosy at times because he likes to see what your doing, what you’re drawing etc. He enjoys spending time with you and doesn’t really like to be away from you, because he really does love being with you but also likes to keep you near incase anything were to happen and you needed to be protected. 

He is very outgoing and will try just about anything and he can really push you out of your comfort zone as well because he’ll like experiencing and trying new things with you. Going out, going to concerts, ice skating, amusement parks, festivals, restaurants etc, he’ll be up for anything and likes to make stuff happen, so if you mention an idea of wanting to do something, trying something or going somewhere he’ll make it happen and pretty quickly after you mentioned it too. He does like action and adventure but can also go through lazy spurts where he’ll be perfectly comfortable staying home with you binge watching trash tv, horror movies or just about anything else because he can be a big tv show and movie junkie.

Is very romantic and affectionate with you right from day one, though can be more cheesy in the beginning with some funny, some lame pick up lines. Which is mostly because he’s trying to make you smile or laugh so he really doesn’t care what kind of cheesy lines he has to use if he can make you smile. But he really can be genuinely romantic when he wants to be its just that he tends to sway between cheesy or romantic depending on what gets a better reaction from you. If making you laugh with pick up lines gets a better reaction from you then trying to sweep you off your feet with poetry and flowers that’s what he’ll go to. He is loving and affectionate with you hugging you often, holding your hand, cuddling up with you and he can be clingy when it comes to cuddles and won’t want to let you go from cuddling or hugs for that matter.

Overall, he is very loyal, protective and loving he’ll do just about anything to make you smile no matter the cost and will really go out of his way to give you anything you want or take you anywhere you want to go. He can be over protective or overbearing sometimes because he doesn’t like being away from you, he can also get jealous extremely easily and can become hostile towards anyone that might flirt with you or just get to close to you in general excluding friends or family of yours. He’ll have your back in any situation and will keep you safe even if he has to sacrifice himself to do so, your happiness and safety will be the most important thing to him.

❣ Headcanons of the Relationship

● Will spoil you quite a bit with attention, affection and physical gifts. He tries to surprise you with gifts randomly but will go all out for holidays or special occasions, he usually aims his gifts towards stuff he knows you like or things you collect. But can also go for the generic romantic gifts like jewelry, flowers, chocolate, etc.

● Arguments between the two of you are rare but when they do happen, they can be rather childish and petty, almost like two toddlers fighting. But neither of you hold a grudge and get over things really quickly, practically forgetting what the fight was even about to begin with.

● Will adore your pet parrot, particularly because it’s a more unique pet than just a cat or dog, and that doesn’t mean he hates other animals but he’ll like that you chose something more unusual than a dog. Though if you let your parrot sit on you like on your shoulder you will receive a lot of pirate related jokes and pick-up lines.

● He tends to hold your hand a lot when walking with you and will play with your hair, touch your arms or you knees when sitting next to you or even trace the outlines of your tattoos (if they’re on your arms and legs). He can become more touchy when he’s trying to get your attention, like if you are reading a book he may play with your hair or run his finger tips up your arm to try and win over your attention.

❣ Other Matches

● Lucifer is affectionate, overly protective and likes to have fun, however; his ideas of fun can be more on the sadistic side, though not so much directed at you but bystanders. Though he can be pretty tame when he wants to be especially when he’s trying to get your attention or win you over, but once he starts falling for you, he can be very over protective to the extent of killing someone in the blink of an eye just for looking at you the wrong way. Which he won’t see any problems with and will feel like his behavior is always completely justified, especially when he feels like he’s doing something for you. He is laid back, fun loving and sarcastic he’ll like making you laugh but his humor can be pretty far on the dark side, to the extent that he may be over all too dark, sadistic and aggressive for your liking.

● Chuck is very laid back, loving and on the lazy side, he can be completely comfortable staying home with you watching movies, binge watching tv shows or listening to music all day. Though he can be fairly judgmental with shows, movies and music and can be quite clear about it when he doesn’t like something like a bad story plot in a movie, to the point where he won’t even want to finish watching a movie if he thinks its bad. He likes your confidence and sense of humor which can make him smile, and he’ll like seeing you happy. He can become extremely jealous and won’t like you spending a lot of time with others even to the extent that he can come across as very controlling at times but that’s really only because he cares about you so much. He also has a hard time admitting when he’s wrong which means arguments can be pretty extreme because he’s unwilling to admit to his flaws.

-- ✚ Parts 2 and 3 of information from asks are posted below ✚ --

👀Part 2 of 3: I do fire eating as a hobby and I play the drums. I kind of low key like attention even when I act like I dont. And I really love cheesy pick up lines especially if they're funny. I also like to draw, go ice skating, go to concerts, watch horror movies, binge watch trash TV or just lay around listening to music. I have a pet parrot whom I love very much. As far as negative traits go I have some depression issues but I try my best to make light of it and joke about my problems. 👀Part 3 of 3: I can go out of my way to be an asshole to people my friends don't like if I think it will make my friend happy or laugh. I also get moody easily and can be a petty little gremlin when I'm mad but I get over things pretty quickly because most of all I just want to have fun. Oops 😵 sorry that was so long.

#spn #spn headcanons #spn match up #spn match ups #match up #match ups #headcanons #supernatural #supernatural headcanons #supernatural match up #Gabriel #supernatural gabriel #Lucifer #spn lucifer #chuck shurley

[insfiringyou]

BTS preferences - Their biggest ‘turn-offs’ in a partner

Our opinion only. Thanks to the reader for the suggestion. 

You may also be interested in our post ‘Their ideal type/girlfriend’ which explains the types of girls they would go for.

Likes, comments and new subscribers are always greatly appreciated. 

Our full masterlist can be found here

Some rated content below the cut

RM

Physical

* Someone who doesn’t take care or pride in their appearance when in public. We see Namjoon as someone who likes his girlfriend to dress up for dates and public appearances as he does himself, so he would hate if they did not care about this too. While in private, he would not mind if they were more casual in what they wore or if she did not wear makeup as he would find this really sexy and intimate. He would love the different sides to his girlfriend, and that only he really gets to see these more natural and carefree aspects. 

* Someone who does not have a ‘ladylike’ fashion sense. We see him as loving a sexy, feminine look on his girlfriend. He would love her in sleek cocktail dresses when out or in formal, office attire when they are working.

* Someone who has a bad lifestyle. We see him as really loving women who are physically healthy and fit. This does not mean spending hours at the gym, but someone who does exercise regularly, drinks plenty of water, eats healthily (most of the time) and most importantly, does not smoke. We see smoking as one of his biggest turn-offs as he would find it really unattractive. 

Personality 

* Someone who deliberately acts dumb, or ‘dumbs themselves down’. While he would not expect his girlfriend to be Einstein, he would need to be able to have intellectual and deep conversations and would hate women who deliberately acted stupid to get more attention. 

* Someone who seeks attention. Namjoon is incredibly private about his personal life as he does not just have himself to look out for, but also the other members. He would hate the thought of his girlfriend gossiping too much or being too loose-lipped about their relationship, as he would worry about it being leaked to the press. 

* Someone who has a lot of male friends. We see Namjoon as getting very jealous and obsessive easily if he suspects another man likes his girlfriend. He would be quick to assume she is cheating on him.

Sexually

* Someone who is too quiet in the bedroom. We see Namjoon as enjoying cues in the bedroom as to what they like or want him to do. He loves dirty talk (see our list here of MLT enjoy dirty talk here), so would hate being with someone too shy to let him know what feels good or not. 

* Someone not willing to try new things. We see him as someone who is very open to trying toys and positions so would need someone who also enjoys experimenting. 

* Someone who never initiates sex. While he would love taking the lead, he also would want his girlfriend to feel comfortable letting him know she was horny and teasing him verbally or visually before sex. 

Jin

Physically

* Someone who exercises to an extreme extent. While we see his body type preference as someone slightly ‘softer’, we think he would be against his girlfriend exercising too much or obsessing over her weight more because he would be concerned for her emotional wellbeing. He would want his girlfriend to love herself and her body, and it would worry him if she showed signs of hating herself. 

* Someone who dresses ‘slobbish’. While he wouldn’t expect them to dress up all the time, he personally would always look at his best when around them, even if he was just having a date at their/his house, so would like to know she also appreciated this. 

* Someone who does not take care of their hygiene. We see him as loving his girlfriend to smell ‘clean’ and ‘pretty’ and also taste nice too, so he would be turned off if she did not take care of herself such as not brushing teeth regularly etc. 

Personality

* Someone too loud in social situations. We see Jin as someone who has traditional values, so would be turned off if they were too loud and obnoxious when around other people, such as drinking to an extreme extent or gossiping. 

* Someone who does not have family values. We think he wants a family and so would want his girlfriend to also wish for this too. His own family and his girlfriend’s family would also be important to him. 

* Someone who does not get on with his friends. He loves his bandmates and would find it too difficult to be with someone who did not get along with them too. 

Sexually 

* Someone who is too dominating in the bedroom. While Jin would definitely be open to new things, being traditional, he generally prefers to lead things in the bedroom. 

* Someone too kinky / experimental. Jin is someone who would try his best to please, but we don’t think he would be turned on by kinky sex or using more ‘extreme’ sex toys. 

Suga

Physically 

* Someone who obsesses over their looks. Like Jin, he would be turned off if his girlfriend was overly insecure about their appearance to the extent they were wanting to extremely change their looks. He definitely is someone who has insecurities of his own, perpetuated by the unrealistic beauty standards in Korea, but he would hate to see these feelings reflected or mirrored in his girlfriend. Someone wanting to have cosmetic surgery or going to the gym too much (for any other reasons but wanting to stay healthy) would be something he wouldn’t feel comfortable with.

* Someone who does not dress for their body type. While Yoongi would be attracted to most body types and is not overly concerned about his girlfriend being super fashionable, he would find it sexy if she dressed to compliment her figure. He would hate it, for example, if someone more curvy tried to hide it by wearing frumpy or overly baggy clothes. He finds curves super sexy so would want to see them. He likewise finds athletic body types sexy and would want that to likewise be shown off. 

* Someone too ‘artificial’ looking. He would be turned off by girls who wore too much fake tan, coloured contacts and hair extensions. While he would not mind makeup if it complimented their style, he wouldn’t like it to be caked-on. 

Personality

* Someone too timid or ‘personality-less’. Like Namjoon, he would enjoy having ‘real’ conversations with his girlfriend about current affairs, politics, music, history etc. and so would need someone who had interests of their own and wasn’t too shy to speak their mind. 

* Someone with too much ‘entitlement’ or ‘privilege’. While Yoongi knows and respects that you can’t change your background, he would be turned off by a girl who acted better than other people due to money or social status. We feel he would naturally be more attracted to someone who, like himself, had to work hard for what they have. If he did date someone who was born rich, however, he would want them to have a good work ethic. 

* Someone too ‘high maintenance’ or ‘dramatic’. Yoongi would hate it if his girlfriend was an attention seeker or someone who needed attention all of the time. We see him as a private person who values his own space from time to time, so would look for that in a partner too. Someone who played on his emotions for attention or expected gifts all the time would be one of his ultimate ‘turn-offs’.

Sexually

* Someone too ‘submissive’ in bed. While he is very open sexually, he would not like it if his girlfriend expected him to completely take control or be dominant. He prefers an equal sexual relationship where both feel comfortable saying what they do and don’t like and where she would feel comfortable to take control every now and again. He is happy to lead in the bedroom if that is what the situation requires, but would like a balance. 

* Someone too ‘quiet’ in bed. Likewise he likes to hear her moans, comments, giggles, sighs etc. If they were very quiet or silent, he would feel he was doing something wrong. (Despite this, we do see Yoongi as fairly quiet in bed...see our list of loudest to quietest member here)

* Someone who did not like skin to skin contact during sex. As previously mentioned, Yoongi would completely understand and relate to a girl being insecure about her body but, if this was the case, would want to work through this with them so she felt comfortable being naked when having sex. This is because we see Yoongi as loving pressing his body close to his partner’s as it would be incredibly intimate for him. If they insisted on wearing clothes all the time or covering themselves, he would not get that satisfaction he craves.

 J-Hope

Physically

*Someone who does not dress ‘feminine’ but modest. We see Hoseok as loving girls who dress prettily and so would not be as attracted to a tomboy or super glamorous style on a girl. He would love summer dresses, long skirts paired with sweaters and, surprisingly, slightly ‘frumpy’ and old-fashioned clothes as you might expect on an older lady. 

* Someone who wears too much makeup. Hoseok loves natural beauty and would not mind subtle makeup or, on occasion, more dramatic if they were going out for a special occasion. He would not like for her to wear thick makeup which disguised her natural features, however.

Personality

*Someone mean-spirited or rude. He would be turned off by someone who had a ‘mean streak’ or was rude to people. He would hate it if they were the type to complain all the time about the service/food when going out to a restaurant or someone who was rude to sales assistants. 

* Someone who does not like children and animals. We feel Hoseok, like himself, needs someone all-loving, who shows kindness towards children, animals, the elderly and those in need. If they were uncharitable, for example, or complained about the homeless, he would be shocked and turned off. 

Sexually

We actually cannot think of anything Hoseok would be explicitly turned off by sexual-wise as he is a very open person and would love trying new things. Likewise, he would not mind being dominated or dominating from time to time, as long as the other person was happy. Furthermore, we see him as the only member who could have a sexless relationship. He would happily date someone who was asexual and did not have that desire. 

Jimin

Physically

* Someone who does not take care of their appearance. We see Jimin as someone who likes his girlfriend to dress prettily and cute for him, so would be turned off if it seemed she did not care or seem bothered about seeing him. He likewise would prefer his girlfriend to eat healthily and take care of her body. 

* A tomboy. Jimin would prefer either very girly girls or quite glamorous girls. This is to not say he would never date a tomboy, but he would be more attracted to girls who had a ‘preppy’ style of dress. 

Personality

*Someone too intellectual or educated. Of all the members, Jimin would feel the most overwhelmed dating someone much smarter than him as he would struggle to keep up with the conversation. This would also make him feel insecure about his own knowledge and, instead of inspiring him to learn more, would have the opposite effect and make him feel stupid and upset. 

*Someone with completely different hobbies to him. While he would try to act interested and learn more about his girlfriend’s hobbies, if they were too different from his, he would find it hard to find that middle ground and find things for them both to do together on dates/days out, etc. 

* Someone who the other members do not like. He really values the opinions of his bandmates so would be likely to break up with someone if the other guys expressed dislike towards her for whatever reason. 

Sexually

* Someone too outspoken or intimidating in bed. Sex for Jimin allows him to feel quite masculine and also boosts his self-esteem, so he would feel intimidated by someone who pointed out his flaws in technique. (We feel for this reason among others, within our headcanon universe, his relationship with Angel did not work out). 

* Someone who has had too many previous boyfriends or sexual partners. One of Jimin’s biggest ‘turn-ons’ would be to take someone’s virginity or do something new with someone for the first time. As we see him as quite insecure, if he knew his partner had been with a lot of guys before him, it would affect his self-esteem.

V

Physically

* Someone who dresses ‘boring’. Taehyung would like his girlfriend to stand out from the crowd due to her quirky dress sense. He would be turned off if someone did not seem to care about what they wore or only followed the crowd with current fashions and trends. He would, however, be attracted to tomboys as they would stand out for that reason. Likewise, really girly girls who wear long, interesting dresses would also appeal to him. A unique sense of style would be what initially catches his attention.

* Someone who dresses too ‘provocatively’ in public or in front of the other members. We see Taehyung as getting jealous easily (see our list of who gets the most jealous here) as well as having somewhat traditional values, so would not like knowing other men’s eyes were roaming over his girlfriend. He does, however, get a weird kick out of being jealous so, on the occasions, this would happen, the sex afterwards would actually be mindblowing.

Personality

* Someone rude to others. Like Hoseok, Taehyung would want his girlfriend to love his family, children (in general) and animals. He would be turned off by someone who showed disrespect in public or embarrassed him by being rude. 

* Someone who is too high maintenance. While Taehyung would love surprising his girl with expensive and extravagant gifts, he wouldn’t like to be with someone who expected these things or who spent too much money on things. He would prefer his girlfriend to be ‘pennywise’ and buy things from antique shops or ebay, preferring to be the one to give her expensive things.

Sexually

* Someone too dominant in the bedroom. We see Taehyung as the most dominant of all members and, while he may act submissive on rare occasions, he prefers to lead during foreplay and sex. 

Jungkook

Physically

* Someone who is not sporty or athletic. We feel he would like his girlfriend to share his love of sports or fitness. This could mean she goes to the gym, fitness classes, goes running or is part of a sports team. He would also love exercising together as a couple (see our headcanon fic ‘Can we work out together more often?’).

* Someone who does not care about their physical appearance. He would like his girlfriend to be physically fit as well as ‘neat’ as in having nice, healthy-looking hair, healthy skin and being shaved. 

* Someone who smokes. 

Personality

* Someone who does not get on with the other members. Like Jin, Jungkook would really seek approval with the other members of his girlfriend. If they did not like his girlfriend, he would find himself doubting his relationship and her personality. 

* Someone too ‘clingy’ or ‘obsessive’. Jungkook is no stranger to crazy fans, so would feel intimated by women who wanted to be with him 24/7, stalked his social media/phone or got overly jealous of him when he was around other girls. (His first girlfriend within our headcanon fics, Jia, is the perfect example of this, as well as the ‘burgundy haired girl’ he has several encounters with.) Of all members, Jungkook is most likely to attract this kind of crazy person.

* Someone who uses him for their own fame/personal gain. Jungkook would be naturally more naive than the other members in recognising if someone is using him. Once he found out, however, he would be heartbroken. 

* Someone too ‘immature’. As he has grown up among older people, Jungkook would hate if his girlfriend acted ‘young for her age’ and was a gossip or did not take certain things seriously. For this reason, we see him as being better suited to older women. 

Sexually

* Someone who is too timid in the bedroom. While he would initially find this comforting when he himself was more sexually inexperienced, we think Jungkook loves pleasing his girlfriend and looks for cues on what to do. He would therefore get more excitement over someone who knows their own body and what they like.

* Someone who criticises his technique or makes him feel insecure in the bedroom. While he would always be looking for ways to improve, he would prefer if the girl hinted in a kinder way. We see Jungkook as someone who loves feeling ‘masculine’ and ‘protective’, even with an older woman, so would get quite upset if this was challenged.

* Someone who expects sex on demand. While he has a healthy sex drive, Jungkook would be quite likely to be unable to get an erection if he felt he needed to perform ‘on demand’ (as he does in our scenario ‘You ask them to make love to you’ which takes place with his first girlfriend, Jia.)

***

Thanks for reading. 

To read each member & their girlfriend’s headcanon universe fics in order, follow the links here: RM   /   Jin /   Suga /   J-Hope   /   Jimin   /   V   /   Jungkook

Thanks for reading. Our full masterlist can be found here.

You can support us by buying admins a coffee here (if you wish). :)

#bts #bts scenarios #bts most likely to #bts imagines #bts preferences #bts rm #bts jin #bts suga #bts jungkook #bts j-hope #bts jhope #bts jimin #bts v #rm #suga #jin #v #jungkook #jimin #j-hope #k-pop #bangtan sonyeondan #bts reactions #bts fan fictions #bts fanfics #bts smut #bts mlt #btspreferences #btssmut #btsimagines

[vanikolya]

hello! can i request a matchup (male characters) for bungou stray dogs & assassination classroom if that's okay? thank you 💕

― i’m a female and a grey asexual!

― appearance-wise, i’m 165cm (5’4"), asian, with shoulder length black hair and dark brown eyes! i don’t like wearing dresses, often times i’m wearing long sleeves paired with shorts or jeans.

― personality-wise, i can be cold and really blunt at first and i don’t let people in easily bc trust issues™ at the rare times people actually succeed in making me their friend, i’m a bit chaotic. i’m a rational person (which sometimes offend others??), but i can be very childish at times. i have pretty dry and dark humor, and i love making sarcastic comebacks. it’s literally second nature at this point. i’m a vv moody & have a short temper. people say i’m iNtElLiGeNt, and so naturally, i’m the person my classmates go to for academic help, despite being super harsh when they get something wrong. (i can’t help it bc what i teach them usually seems easy to me ;-;"). and sometimes i’m just so done with everyone’s shit that i don’t care about anything HHHHH it’s like i have two separate personalities??

― i like horror, psychological thrillers, action & action comedies. i’m very interested in psychology & pathology, and i want to be a psychologist or a forensic psychologist one day. i love spicy food and have a sweet tooth! (ill eat literally ANYTHING sweet) i also prefer working alone than in groups, bc i do better alone. i love foxes & cats too! (i have a cat named ginger eEEE) i also really love collecting stationery!!

― i hate crowds & socializing. i’d prefer staying in and binge watching anime or movies! despite being the person people come to for academic help, i absolutely hate studying and rarely ever do study.

― my hobbies are writing, drawing, playing the piano, violin & guitar and singing! at a young age i’ve been taught how to play those instruments, but i’m only really good at piano. the life of an asian lol

this is rly long omg- anyways, thank you!!

{i hope this is alright! it’s my first time doing a matchup ^^; i hope you enjoy! i wrote them in a headcanon format since that’s what i’m most comfortable with, hope you don’t mind that! - s}

i ship you with...

{.⋅ ✯ ⋅.}  RANPO EDOGAWA  {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.}

at first, ranpo finds your bluntness interesting; he isn’t going to push you just for the sake of figuring you out, but he can tell there’s something more to you than your cold attitude

completely understands you getting annoyed when your classmates ask you for help and get it wrong, he feels similarly whenever he has to explain the reasoning behind his deductions, and when his clients don’t understand him

he loves that you’re both chaotic/childish and also rational, as he understands that sometimes life really does call for being serious, but downtime is still precious to him and he’s glad he can have someone to relax with outside of his work/the agency

supportive of your dream to become a psychologist, he definitely knows you’re smart enough for it. if anyone tries to convince you to do something else even if you don’t want to, he’ll honestly just like, complain about them to you but he’ll do it in front of them to put them off the subject. he also thinks the idea of being with a forensic psychologist would be interesting, but not in a kind of way where he’d be dissatisfied if you chose to do anything else

stubbornly possessive of his own sweets and sweet stash, but honestly doesn’t mind sharing with you or letting you take some, just as long as you replace anything you’ve taken for yourself

ngl i hc that he loves cats too, if the two of you were to move in together at all but ginger stayed at your family home he would be constantly, cheekily asking to see them, but if ginger moves in too he is chuffed

thinks it’s super endearing that you like to collect stationary, though he doesn’t particularly understand why you love it so much. doesn’t mean he’s not going to buy or ask yosano to buy things for you if he ever spots little stationary things like stickers or memos that he thinks you might like

prefers to stay inside with you anyway, most if not all dates planned by him consist of things like movie nights or playing games inside. if you do want to go outside somewhere though, on occasion, it isn’t a problem with him but it doesn’t change his preference considering he struggles to do certain things without using his ability

isn’t going to pressure you into singing/playing for him when he figures out you can but i feel like he’d enjoy it if you did, even if you’re not specifically playing for him, just practicing, he still likes to listen to you

he’d ask you in a cheeky/childish way, like “not to be cheekyyy, but can you play/sing for meee”

{.⋅ ✯ ⋅.}  KARMA AKABANE  {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.}

teases you for your height, but in a kind of “aww, you’re so small, so cute” way, even though you’re only about a head shorter than him. he’ll stop if you ask him seriously enough but until you do he’s just going to assume that you don’t mind it

treats you the same way as he would with anyone else in the class, until he gets to know you and sees that you aren’t entirely as cold and blunt as you were letting on

he likes getting on your nerves to a certain extent, only ever really driving you to a “i love you but if you don’t shut up-” kind of mood, not too much to really set off your temper and make you mad at him. he finds it fun to bounce off your sarcasm with his own, either to tease you or someone else

willing to help you out with your classmates if they ever come to you for help, after all he has some of the highest grades in class if not the highest, so he’s capable of helping. however, he’s similar to you, he’s harsh and gets a little agitated if someone fails to understand something that’s so easy for him

similar film tastes, his favorite genres are action & action comedies. he gets surprisingly into discussing films with you. if there’s a new film coming out that you both want to watch and he ends up seeing it before you, he might joke about telling you spoilers but he wouldn’t actually ruin the film for you, because it would annoy is sm if someone did that to him

honestly not too fussed about what your dream job is and what you’re aiming for, that’s your business, just as long as your happy. if you need help with it though, he’ll take an interest and try to help as he knows it’s something that’s going to make you happy

he’s fine with either going outside or staying in with you, he prefers to go out but isn’t going to pressure you to. sometimes he sees spending time inside with you as special even if you’re just watching anime, it’s more private

if you do go out though he’ll try avoiding crowded areas with you, whilst also trying not to make it obvious that he’s doing it ig

he’s never particularly been interested in creative things like writing, drawing, and music; his strong points in class being more maths and science; so anything you make or play is honestly amazing to him especially since he has nothing like his own experience to compare it to (if that makes sense-- sorry for the personal comment aha but like ig it’s similar to if you’re drawing and you don’t like it but someone who doesn’t draw will think it’s great)

#matchup #bsd #ranpo edogawa #assassination classroom #karma akabane

[give-me-the-frender-baby]

On the Subject of Leela...

I’ve wanted to make this post for a while, but I’ve been a little nervous. I really don’t want to step on any toes or upset anyone here. And I’m not the most well spoken person in the world, at least not when it comes to social issues, so I’ve held out on writing this. But recent events have lead me to believe that this post is somewhat warranted.

So I headcanon Leela as a lesbian. I have for about 3 years at this point. And I haven’t been able to articulate exactly WHY that is until recently, but I’m going to attempt to explain my thoughts here so that I have a post handy for the rare occasion that someone takes issue with this interpretation of canon. I want to emphasize, I take absolutely NO issue with people who believe Leela is bisexual or pansexual or any other orientation. Everyone is allowed their own thoughts and feelings about a character they relate to, and at the end of the day, it’s just a TV show we all enjoy.

I will provide a bit of background for my thoughts here; Leela behaves in a way that is indicative of the fact that she might be experiencing compulsory heterosexuality. There are a million posts that detail what that is far better than I ever could, but in short: compulsory heterosexuality, or comp het for short, is a pattern of behavior in which a woman/feminine aligned person expresses performative interest in men. Lesbians are especially affected by this, as it is a coping mechanism to prevent confronting the fact that are exclusively attracted to women/feminine aligned nonbinary people, but other sapphics can also be affected to a lesser extent. The core of the issue is that their attention is focused on men because society tells them they should be, but it’s an issue that women/feminine aligned nonbinary people uniquely face, as women/feminine aligned nonbinary people are conditioned in Western society to cater to men and taught that feeling unfulfilled is simply a part of being in a relationship.

A lot of Leela’s behavior is similar to my own behavior when I was denying the fact that I’m gay as hell. Her relationships never seem to work out; the “right guy” just never seems to come along. She holds Fry to an impossible standard in a way very similar to how I treated a past potential male suitor. We’ll call him “K”.

K behaved in a way very similar to Fry, and thus I related him to Fry for a long time. He was pushy and almost a little whiny in his pursuits of me. And I couldn’t figure out why I didn’t like him. We had been friends for years, he was attractive, he genuinely cared about me, and yet I was always unsatisfied. He should have been the perfect possible boyfriend, but he couldn’t be, for obvious reasons. I nearly accepted his (multiple) offers to date, but something always held me back. I was extremely indecisive, and I found myself liking the IDEA of K, of who he COULD be, more than actually liking him as a person. (It was very reminiscent of “Parasites Lost”, if that gives you any idea of the climate of the situation.) He should have been the perfect boyfriend. But he couldn’t be, because I’m gay.

When I rejected him one too many times, things started to get bad. I won’t go into the gory details, but through a series of uncomfortable events, I eventually figured out that K’s behavior constituted as abuse. So when my opinion of him soured, so did my opinion of the pairing that held an uncanny resemblance to the dynamic I shared with him.

The other side of it is that Leela does not exhibit ANY canonical attraction to women outside of blatant fanservice, like in “The Butterjunk Effect” or “Bender’s Game”. If I am wrong on this, I invite anyone who feels keen on enlightening me to provide significant evidence of her being canonically sapphic, to name ONE episode where she spoke about her love of women, where she dated a woman, where she even commented on a woman being attractive in a way that isn’t colored by explicitly platonic intentions or jealousy. There has also been, to my knowledge, no declaration by Groening, Cohen, or anyone else on the crew Leela is anything other than the “default” in media (i.e. straight). Thus, I do not see the harm in headcanoning a character with no LGBT+ attachments in canon as gay. It is no more harmful than headcanoning her any other way. If Leela was ACTUALLY canonically bisexual, or any other orientation, I would understand the people who speak out against other interpretations of canon. But since there is none, I do not see the value in “fighting over table scraps”, so to speak.

My last point is this: women/feminine aligned nonbinary people can discover that they’re lesbians at any age. Whether you’re 5 or 85, there’s always the opportunity to discover and contextualize new facets of yourself. Me personally? It took coming out as bi, realizing I’m gay and coming out as such, closeting myself as bi and dating men exclusively because of the backlash, to finally come to accept that I am, in fact, gay.

And that’s really all there is to it. I’m a lesbian who relates deeply to Leela and sees aspects of myself in her, such as comp het. I’m squicked by her canonical dynamic with Fry because of past abuse. There is no canon sexuality for her other than the “default”, and her past attraction to men, no matter how genuine it may seem, does not necessarily define her sexuality, as, again, women/woman aligned nonbinary people in their 80s who were married to men all their life can still realize they’re gay.

TDLR: A combination of past abuse souring how I view a part of the show and the incredibly complicated dynamics of lesbian identity have lead me to view Leela as a lesbian. I have no issue with people headcanoning her differently, but I am starting to get sick of being called biphobic or getting “corrected” when I assert my own interpretations if the show.

-Vee

#futurama #leela #turanga leela #abuse cw #somewhat personal

[shadowthorne]

all of them oh god please reveal your cat

Ask me about my catSend me a number and I’ll answer for my cat

I HAVE THREE OF THEM?? God this is going to get long… 

1. Name? 

Sinn, Vertigo and Marble.

2. Fur color?

Sinn; Black, with a tiny patch of white on his chestVertigo; Fluffy orange and white boyMarble; Grey and white

3. Any family you know (other than you)?

They know my partner, of course, and my parents and brother. Though that doesn’t mean they like any of them…. Yikes. Sinn loves everyone, strangers too. Vertigo loves me and no one else. Marble loves my partner and I come in second, and wants to brutally murder anyone else who looks at him.

4. Age?

All of them are about ten years old.

5. Favorite toy?

Sinn’s favorite toy is anything with feathers and his little wand toy thing. Vertigo’s favorite toy is anything with strings to chase, and one of those ridiculous tracks with the ball in it that you buy for kittens a fraction of his size and weight. And Marble’s favorite toy is whatever either of the other two are having fun with, and catnip.

6. Nicknames?

Sinn; Squeeny Bean, just Squeen or Squibbles.Vertigo; Vertibles or Chunky Monkey.Marble; Mabble Babble or Meeble Beeble or just Mabs.

And they each know and will answer to their various nicknames, too lol

7. Cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

Sinn; Cinnamon roll, through and throughVertigo; Somewhere between, leaning towards problematic faveMarble; Problematic fave

8. Length of fluff?

Sinn; no fluff, just fuzzVertigo; No less than three inches, with his tail getting into the five inch rangeMarble; A medium length, like two inches or so, maybe three in his tail

9. Any funny habits?

Sinn; He noodles... And flops onto his side when he wants attention, and just wiggles around and purrs until someone gives him attention.Vertigo; Rolls onto his back and sleeps with his legs straight outMarble; “sings” when you say “Sing sing sing Mables” at him

10. How old were they when you met?

Sinn; about six monthsVertigo; Also about six months (I got him and Sinn together at the same time)Marble; about a year

11. What does their food bowl look like?

Just basic, stainless steel bowls. Vertigo is allergic to everything else and breaks out if he eats out of plastic or ceramic for more than a few days :(

12. Indoor or outdoor cat?

INDOOR. Sinn likes to walk on a leash, though.

13. Recent picture?

14. Old picture?

Look how big Vertigo’s feet were as a little kitten, we should have known he’d be a monster...

15. Cuddly?

Sinn; Y E SVertigo; Covertly, when no one is looking and only with me, and his idea of ‘cuddling’ is just to lay next to me.Marble; Yes, but only when he feels like it

16. Ever changed their name?

All of their names :)

Sinn’s used to be Odin, before I adopted him.Vertigo’s used to be Stanley before I adopted him.And we never knew Marble’s name. He was a stray who’s previous owner abandoned.

18. Eye color?

Sinn; goldVertigo; kind of... hazel? Grey? They’re sort of bluish at times.Marble; Greenish

19. How do they express love for you?

Sinn; C U D D L E S 24/7, whether you want them or not. Will also try to bring you things he catches, which amounts to toys and the occasional dead flyVertigo; Purring so loudly you can’t hear yourself think and rolling onto his back to show you his belly. If he REALLY likes you, he likes belly rubs too.Marble; Giving you an ounce of attention that isn’t him trying to hiss, swat and bite you, and kneading your tender human flesh with his razor claws. Lots of slow blinks.

20. How do you express love for them?

All of the regular human-on-cat smothering, plus too many toys for them to ever use, no less than half a dozen empty cardboard boxes set up randomly throughout the apartment at any given time, access to every surface other than the kitchen counters, and cuddles/pets/playtime whenever they want. 

21. Any theories on what breed?

Sinn; Could get away with saying bombay mix probably?Vertigo; Probably a Norwegian forest mix, he hits all the breed standards but he’s not as pretty and regal looking as registered ones.Marble; LKSJDflkjsdf vague shrugging he’s really long and lean and has a mildly oddly shaped head, so maybe some oriental in there????

22. Do they ever wake you up?

Sinn does constantly, Vertigo will on occasion, and Marble is a Good Boy who never does.

23. How much do they meow?

Sinn; When he wants attention, which is pretty much always.Vertigo; Will literally hold a whole conversation with you, he’s very vocal.Marble; Rarely. And he doesn’t really meow, he kind of. Gargles and gives tiny, high pitched ‘Hhheeeee’s (we call them song mows)

24. Any hiding spots?

Sinn; would never hide ever, how would people pay attention to him??Vertigo; In a random box, where he can watch you suspiciously and like he’s better than you.Marble; In whatever seat you want, so that way he can get pissy at you and have an excuse to make your life flash before your eyes

They all hide under the bed when they actually get scared.

25. Do they enjoy guests?

Sinn; Fuck. Yes.Vertigo; He enjoys staring at them judgingly and yelling when they want to pet himMarble; Nope. He doesn’t even enjoy our roommate of almost two years

26. Lofty objects to sit on?

Cat tree, back of couch, dresser, bathroom sink, table, a particular tall shelving unit 

27. Wear a collar? (and describe collar?)

Sinn; A black, leather, studded collar because he’s a little stud. Vertigo; A fancy blue collar with a reflective strip on itMarble; A bright green collar with a bell

28. How much shedding?

Sinn; a regular amount but his fur is short and black and you never see itVertigo; Not actually that much?? But he has a double coat and LONG ASS ORANGE HAIR so you see it when he doesMarble; A FUCK TON

29. Do they enjoy brushing?

Sinn; God yes. Almost as good at being petVertigo; No and he’ll scream about it, posture like he’s going to fuck you up, and run awayMarble; No, will actually fuck you up (but we’re working on conditioning and he’s getting better about it!)

30. Ever drink from the toilet?

Sinn; NoVertigo; No, but he fell in onceMarble; Will drink literally any source of water he can find (yes)

31. How do they get your attention?

Sinn; forced snugglesVertigo; yelling until you give him what he wantsMarble; puts a dainty little paw on your thigh and then flexes his razor claws until they sink into your flesh while looking up at you very cutely and slow blinking

32. Embarrassing thing they’ve done?

Sinn; Regularly noodles off his perch and acts like nothing happened when he hits the floorVertigo; He’s embarrassed by his whole existence. Marble; He’s ran face first into the window going after birds multiple times

33. Weirdest thing they try to eat

Sinn; nothing, he only eats cat food and meat productsVertigo; granola bars and crackersMarble; the other two cAT’S HAIR?? Please stop that.

34. Are they like your siblings, children, or friends?

Children, but I don’t I don’t really like kids, so better.

35. What time do they eat breakfast?

5:30 sharp, or Vertigo throws a goddamn fit about being late

36. Do you cut their nails?

Yep. Sinn sits patiently and probably just thinks it’s weird cuddling. Vertigo is mostly declawed. He has his back claws and one front claw. I cut the front claw whenever I see that it’s getting too long AND MARBLE tries to kill me, but yes. It takes me three days because we can only get a few toes in at a time, and lots of courage.

37. Do you think they understand you?

Yeah, at least to some extent. They definitely know certain words, including their names, and they’re good at cluing into moods and body language.

38. Ever make fun of them?

Constantly.

39. Do you take their picture often?

Fairly regularly.

40. Ever hiss at you?

Sinn; No, he’s an angle babyVertigo; Not at me, but at my partner, the other two cats, and everyone elseMarble; He’ll his at his own shadow

41. Ever try to scratch or bite you?

Sinn; absolutely not, he’d probably sooner hurt himselfVertigo; No, he puts on a big show, but he always runs the other wayMarble; Oh yeah. He’s the opposite of Vertigo in this respect. No talk; all bite.

42. If you try to grab their paw, what do they do?

Sinn; rubs his face on you and purrsVertigo; pulls them away half a dozen times until he gets annoyed and walks away nonchalantly.Marble; will murder you, your mother, and all your neighbors.

43. Do they ever eat bugs?

Sinn; he likes to bring them to us instead...Vertigo; No interest.Marble; Yes.

44. Canned or dry food?

They eat dry usually, but love canned, so they get it once a week or so

45. Weight?

Sinn; 9lbsVertigo; about twenty poundsMarble; like fifteenish

46. Ever got lost?

Sinn; Nope. He got out once. We didn’t even know, and he got scared and cried at us from under the porch as we were about to leave the apartment. We heard him were just “??? Is THAT SINN?? WHERE?????” and he came running out to us like it was the most terrifying ten minutes of his life.Vertigo; No, he only goes outside if I go outside, and he wont leave a five foot radius of me.Marble; Once. Friends of ours didn’t shut the door all the way and he was missing for several ours. Turns out he made it thirty feet down the parking lot and into a dumpster and was too scared to come out until he heard us calling for him. It was a terrifying experience for all involved.

47. Do you buy them presents?

For every Christmas! And occasionally randomly throughout the year

48. Do they respond when you call?

Yep, they all know their names :)

49. Do they ever see other cats?

Very rarely. Vertigo and Marble hate other cats. Sinn wants to be friends with everything.

50. Declawed?

Vertigo is half declawed. As mentioned above, most of his front claws were removed for medical reasons. He’s a big, male cat with polydactyly, meaning he has extra digits. A lot of polydactyl cats end up with extremely thick, ingrown claws. Vertigo is no exception. His back claws are ungodly thick and grow really long, but luckily don’t curve much. His front claws, however, constantly curved until the points were embedding into his paw pads and would get infected and be painful. After struggling with it for years, we decided it would be less stressful on him to get them removed and we could deal with pain management for arthritis he’ll likely have as a result when he’s older. So far so good, though, and he has no problems with his feets.

51. Funniest expression?

Sinn; full, open mouthed squealing. He’s so dark, but his teeth are so white that it looks ridiculousVertigo; sometimes gets his cheek fluff or chest fluff stuck in his mouth after grooming and it’s so goofyMarble; goes cross-eyed when he yawns

52. Favorite place to be pet?

Sinn; e v e r y w h e r e   everywhereVertigo; his head, or if he’s into it that day, his bellyMarble; under his chin

53. Worst thing they’ve destroyed?

They don’t destroy things, they’re very good boys

54. Give them a head kiss.

Gladly, but I already do more often then they probably want... Except Sinn. He wants all the kisses.

55. What time of the year is most exciting for them?

Sinn; Summer, he loves the sun!Vertigo; Winter, he loves the snow!Marble; I’m not sure he has a preference 

56. Are they good at hunting real prey?

No..... Sinn makes friends with everything. The other two suck. We had a mouse in our apartment once, and had to buy a mouse trap. Three cats, and we had to buy a mouse trap slksjdf They would die if they ever got lose and couldn’t be found

57. Do they ever attack nothing?

Yes! They’ll randomly pounce on nothing, and it usually turns into playing amongst themselves or with a nearby toy.

58. What are they doing right now?

Sinn; snuggling meVertigo; somewhere in a different room, probably sitting in a boxMarble; laying at the foot of the bed, squinting at me

59. How long have you had them?

Sinn; 10 yearsVertigo; 10 yearsMarble; 9 years

60. If you could have them stay as a kitten forever, would you?

Nah. I loved them as kittens, I loved their annoying awkward teenage years, I’m loving their middle years, and I’ll love their old men years. 

61. Ever baby-talk to them?

I mean. You read their nicknames, right...? (yes)

62. Favorite napping position?

Sinn; curled up in the crook of my armVertigo; on his back in the middle of the floor where he can easily be stepped on and yell at you for itMarble; classic cat side saddle lay at the foot of the bed, head either up or on crossed paws

63. Have you ever stepped on their paw?

Yes...... T^T

64. Ever tripped you on stairs?

Yes :\

65. Any ear hair?

Sinn; white ear hair, oddly enough, so his little ears look mostly baldVertigo; all the fluffMarble; some long tufts

66. Favorite view from a window?

They all like the patio door and the humming bird feeder out there, and the front window, where the watch people walk around like it’s a sport

67. Describe why they are precious.

Sinn; perfect, sweet, adorable little angle Vertigo; so grumpy, but when he’s happy, he’s so deeply happy and purrs so loudly and freely and he’s probably the most loyal cat I’ve ever seenMarble; winning his affection is so rewarding and he’s such a sweet boy when it finally happens. He’s also derpy as hell when he’s comfortable around you and will let you lion king him and throw him over your shoulder

68. Fit the cat stereotype?

Sinn; lol noVertigo; yesMarble; Yes, but fierce 

69. Chaotic neutral?

I would say for all three?

70. Do they enjoy following/ keeping you company?

Oh yeah. All three migrate to whatever room I’m in at any given time. My partner says that on my weekends, when I sleep in, they’re lazy and quiet until I get up, then they’re active and playful and want attention. And Vertigo knows my work schedule. He waits by the door for me to get home.

71. Are you their favorite human?

Sinn; probably? It’s hard to tell.Vertigo; Absolutely.Marble; Second favorite, but it’s a close call, I think.

72. Do they like tv?

Neither of them have any interest in the TV

73. Favorite noise to make?

Sinn; happy happy purrsVertigo; He has a really rumbly, adorable, purr-meow thingMarble; Song mows

74. If they were a Neko Atsume cat, what would their momento be?

I don’t know what that is tbh...

#my little monsters #ask #anonymous #OTL #that was #a lot lmao

[preserving-ferretbrain]

Sarah Monette, the Victim Dilemma, the Aesthetic of Suffering and the Uncanny Valley of Arse Rape

by Wardog

Monday, 27 April 2009

Wardog fails to finish Sarah Monette's Corambis.~

Massive massive massive massive spoilers for about 1/3 of the book. Also, as the title suggests, this article is about nasty things so don’t read if you’re likely to be upset

Preramble (like a preamble but … d’you see?)

This is a bleak day indeed. I just got my hands on a copy of Corambis, the much-anticipated (by me at least) concluding part to Sarah Monette’s Doctrine of Labyrinths quartet and the truth of it is, I don’t think I can finish it.

Oh, Sarah, what happened? I do still love you, I just don’t think it’s working out.

I think it’s partially problems associated with reading through a series over a lengthy period of time. When I read Melusine, The Virtu was already out in hardback and I tore through at them enthusiastically, so drawn into the world and the characters that I barely noticed they were so heavily saturated in angst and woe that one could drown in it by simply opening the book a little recklessly. There was a bit of a wait for The Mirador – which I seem to recall I felt slightly less positively about but still adored – and I fell upon Mehitabel Parr’s I’m sure welcoming bosom to save me from the tidal waves of A&W. As much as I love Felix and Mildmay, it was Mehitabel’s narrative voice that made The Mirador bearable for me. It was such a necessary contrast to the boys: someone with some redeeming sense of self-irony, hurrah!

Of course, Mehitabel isn’t in Corambis. And, God, I miss her. There is a new viewpoint character, Kay Brightmore, blinded and imprisoned and weighed down by the terrible military failure that kicks off the book. He’s basically lost everything that ever mattered to him, can no longer fight on account of being blind and, needless to say, he has angst out the wazoo about it. I was broken and crying by Chapter three.

And, quite frankly, I just can’t take it. I know there is redemption in the future of these characters (characters I really care about, having spent three books with them), I know there is self-actualisation and the potential for happiness, I know because I cheated and looked, but I’ve really really struggled with Corambis. The worst of it is, I’m sure it will be a triumphant and satisfying conclusion to the quartet. Sarah Monette is an excellent writer, I love her world, I love the way she uses language, I love her characters, I love everything about her but I think I’m going to have to accept the fact I simply can’t read her.

Oh, Sarah, what happened? I do still love you, it’s not you, it’s me.

Maybe in a couple of years we’ll be able to work something out.

I think circumstances might be playing into this unhappy state of affairs as well. When I read the early books, there wasn’t a cloud in my sky. But having emerged from a rather bleak year, there’s something a little too close in all that guilt and grief and self-loathing and despair, and I can’t distance myself enough from it to enjoy it. There is a systematic aestheticisation of suffering to be found in all of Monette’s books. I’m not going to try and argue that as either a positive or negative quality in her work. I think it’s probably neutral: it’s

something

art

does

sometimes

. I acknowledge the difference between literary suffering and real suffering, in that there can be a romance in the former which is impossible in the latter. Also literary suffering exists in a wider, symbolic and allegorical sphere than that of an individual having shitty things done to them by life or others, mainly, I suspect, because it’s not real. Take madness – there is something deeply attractive and romantic about the artistic representation of madness (like Felix’s madness in Melusine) and it’s perfectly possible to appreciate that, and to find in it a kind of beauty, without ignoring the genuine distress suffered by the mentally ill. In short, Ophelia is not my friend who killed herself last year.

But the boundaries between the fictional and the real are not comprehensively signposted. There isn’t a traceable spectrum between Lavinia, daughter of Titus Andronicus, and Elizabeth Short. And ultimately I think there comes an impossible point when the literary and the real collide, corrupt each other and prove they are utterly irreconcilable and yet simultaneously inseparable. Yes, they must be understood as different things operating in a different way – a painting of St Sebastian is not the same as footage of the prisoners at Guantanamo bay – but there comes a point when it is necessary to remember what it is that’s being aestheticised and ask yourself why.

Page 152

Okay, so, there’s a gang-rape scene in Corambis.

Felix – former prostitute, broken gay wizard with ex-cruel master and traumatic past - ends up subjecting himself a thaumaturgic orgy in order to earn money to pay for his ailing brother’s medicine.

It’s awful.

It’s not that it’s explicit, just awful.

And I’m no wuss, okay. I’ve read Last Exit to Brooklyn. I’ve read The Wasp Factory. I’ve read American Psycho.

But something about this scene in this book bought me a first class ticket on the ARGH! Train and whizzed me straight out of my comfort zone.

It’s strange to say that something is “outside your comfort zone” in that it feels like a confession of personal failure (also something that’s outside my comfort zone). And then I thought about it more, and I thought: hey, so what, gang-rape is outside my comfort zone. Surely that’s normal. Gang-rape is absolutely something that should be outside all our comfort zones. But here’s where it gets complicated: in fact, fictional gang-rape is not outside my comfort zone. I play H-games, for God’s sake, where they’re ten a penny. You can’t take two steps in an H-game without stubbing your toe on a gang rape. So it’s something more specific than that. It was something about this particular portrayal of it.

It’s not shock value. Felix gets himself sexually abused on a pretty regular basis, so much so, in fact, that it’s kind of part of the fun, and it’s very much tied into Monette’s aesthetic of suffering.

I could not see, and I could barely hear, save for my own harsh breathing. But I could feel. I could Malkar’s hands like silk, running up and down my back, tracing the scars, the old palimpsest of pain. I could feel his body arching against me, his bulk, his heat. I felt his hands slide under my hips, stroking, exciting, felt the stiffness of him against my thigh. Pain, then, but not too much. Pain … and arousal all woven together like a tapestry. I was moaning, gasping; the only word I could form were “Please, Malkar, please, lease,” and I didn’ tknow if I was begging him to stop or continue. Not that it would made the slightest difference either way.

Let’s pin our colours to the mast here. That’s beautiful. Terrible, but beautiful and absolutely literary in its unrealness. It’s also about as accurate a portrayal of sexual abuse than St Sebastian up there is of martyrdom. Perhaps I’m just an irredeemable sicko but I’m pretty sure it’s there, to an extent, to be enjoyed, partially as spectacle (straight women do not generally write about beautiful gay boys sexing each other manipulatively because it’s a Serious Social Issue) and, also, partially as vindication for all the crappy things that have been done to innumerable female characters in a seventy years of fantasy fiction. I’m not, of course, advocating backlash (more manrape!) but there is something compelling and, even perhaps comforting, in characters like Felix, Alec and friends, these beautiful men, who are as sexually vulnerable as women, suffer and fear the sort of things women suffer and fear, and are very much created to be subjects of an extra-textual female gaze and the intra-textual male gaze. I’m not saying that men don’t get raped and looked at, but the sheer saturation is demonstrably less. I am not trying to say that what happens to Felix at the start of Melusine isn’t dreadful. It is. But it’s a literary violation, and it reduces him to a literary madness that is as terrible and as beautiful as the horror that creates it.

But let’s talk about gang rape. Now there’s something you don’t say everyday.

The scene itself written in a very similar style – opulent, not too explicit although more explicit than above, and contains the same awkward issues of dubious consent. In Melusine, Felix chooses to go to Malkar in a fit of self loathing. In Corambis he agrees theoretically to an orgy in order to raise money for Mildmay’s medical treatment. In both cases what ends up happening to him is far more devastating than what he originally signed up for but, equally, there’s an element of complicity to it. If you return to your abusive master, expect to get abused. If you agree to be the centerpiece of an orgy, expect to get fucked. This abject stupidity is granted a psychological plausibility because Felix is a messed up little bunny, with a supposedly tragic conviction of his own profound worthlessness.

Obviously I don’t want to get into real issues here, but I think the reason the dubious consent became one of the bothering aspects of the scene in Corambis is that the sex abuse came plot-approved. I mean, if Felix was walking down the street and happened to get jumped and gang raped by a bunch of guys I think many a reader might rightly cry “Sarah Monette, what the fuck?” as there are very few occasions in which it is either appropriate or necessary to get one of your characters gang raped. But this way he has a “real” reason to put himself voluntarily into a position where he might be. It’s even, perhaps, meant to be on some level noble – in a hopelessly fucked up way, of course. So what you end up with is a deeply uncomfortable situation in which everything conspires, including (conveniently) Felix himself, to create a scenario in which a horrible but beautifully written gang rape is, to an extent, okay. And this is where the aesthetic of suffering starts to come apart at the seams.

Essentially this scene falls right into the uncanny valley. If it was purely designed for titillation I wouldn’t have a problem with it, but as it is there are elements are titillation and elements of horror. We are meant to be shocked and appalled – and it is shocking and appalling – but it’s framed in such a way that we are simultaneously liberated to relish the aesthetic. And quite frankly that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I think there’s something profoundly hypocritical and, indeed, deeply disturbing in the idea of enjoying both moral outrage and illicit sexual excitement (see Joss Whedon’s Dollhouse). The scene bears all the hallmarks of erotic non-con (there are elements of psychological exposure as well as physical, the victim is physically aroused throughout, the abusers are appreciative of his beauty and his apparent eagerness, and so on and so forth) but worked through a guilt-appeasing filter of “oh gosh, isn’t this terrible.”

My ankles were still chained and somebody had me scruffed like a kitten; I was keening in protest, but I was dragged upright, forced to straddle someone’s thighs, while he continued fucking me with the same relentless steadiness. I was displayed for all of them, my arousal jutting out shamelessly, the tear tracks on my face attesting to my weakness.

Now, I know that, unlike erotic non-con, Felix is not secretly into what’s being done to him and that he’s breaking and being broken here but you still have a scene that’s running in two directions simultaneously and trying to have its cake and eat it. It goes out of its way to tick the non-con wink-wink boxes but then slaps you face in the face with its insistence that this a terrible and traumatic event. Essentially you can’t have a gorgeously written gang rape that positions itself within a carefully constructed aesthetic framework and a psychologically accurate and traumatic portrait of a terrible ordeal.

And, ultimately, I guess you have to ask yourself if it’s okay to have an aesthetic gang rape scene full stop. The idea bothers me less as pornography but here, I would argue, that it gains an added erotic piquancy from the fact it really is annihilating Felix, which, again is troublesome. Essentially it’s why raping Clarissa is so much more interesting than raping Justine, and why it’s all right to get off on the latter and not the former.

The more I’ve thought about this and tried to articulate my issues with it, the more complex and convoluted it has become. There is, of course, an element of the purely personal about – I didn’t like it and it upset me – as well as these more abstract, intellectualizations of it. I dug around on Monette’s Livejournal – on which is usually charming and sensible – to see what I could find and, lo and behold, she has written quite comprehensively on the subject, which I shall now quote pretty much in its entirety:

I knew from very early on that Felix was going to turn back to prostitution to get the money for a doctor for someone he loved (I knew this was going to happen before I knew Mildmay existed), and I knew that he was going to end up in a situation that was completely out of his control and that hurt him badly. Because Felix is reckless and self-destructive and because under all his vanity, he doesn't think he's worth protecting. And because it is a kind of answering horror to his being raped by Malkar at the beginning of Mélusine. And because he needed something that would force him to confront these issues--force him to see that he doesn't deserve to be abused--and it had to be something superlatively unbearable if it was going to get through to him, because Felix has way too much experience at ignoring his own pain.

Say what? So it’s redemptive gang rape, the sort makes you a stronger and better person? What … the … fuck? It’s like those Hollywood amnesia plotlines (one blow to the head gives you amnesia, another blow cures it) except with sexual abuse. I know, again, we’re operating in a fictional sphere but this is so made of wrong that I’ll just content myself with linking to Dan’s article on

the victim dilemma

and throw my hands up in despair.

I quite enjoy Monette’s aestheticisation of suffering, I could probably navigate the uncanny valley if I really had to but I am sick to death of male fantasy writers using sexual abuse as a textual shortcut for character development and I’m damned if I’m going to deal with women doing the same thing. Sarah Monette, you are better than this.

Sexual abuse is not good for you. It happens and people react. Constantly depicting characters who react to it in courageous and life-enhancing ways is not empowering, it’s fucking demeaning to people who struggle along every day as best they can.

I’m sure in a different time in a different mood I’ll pick up Corambis again and I’ll get to page 152 and I’ll shrug and go “gang rape, meh” and read right on.

But not today.Themes:

Damage Report

,

Books

,

Sarah Monette

,

Sci-fi / Fantasy

~

bookmark this with - facebook - delicious - digg - stumbleupon - reddit

~Comments (

go to latest

)

Arthur B

at 14:44 on 2009-04-27It's depressing when series go south like this. It's especially annoying when they burn down the virtues of the earlier volumes. I was looking at your first Monette review and you were saying how you were impressed by the fact that Felix was gay, but it kind of wasn't a big deal; I'm getting the impression that as the series goes on that becomes less true, since that LJ extract makes it sounds like Monette intended all along to reduce Felix to a weepy gay man being abused by angry gay men. (If I'm interpreting that right - if Felix pimping himself out predates the existence of Mildmay, that means that Monette was planning to make this happen since before the first book, right?)

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Wardog

at 15:11 on 2009-04-27Mmm, that's part of the problem though. I don't actually think it's "gone south" - despite the Xtreme angst I was quite absorbed until page 152. It was merely that scene that tripped me out. I'm sure if I could put it behind me and just get on with the book, I'd probably really like it.

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Rude Cyrus

at 20:32 on 2009-04-27Great, now I need a shower.

While I suppose rape can be presented as being aesthetically pleasing, like in erotic non-con, I still don't like it. I've always found consenting sex between happy, willing partners infinitely more pleasurable -- don't ask me why. This sort of stuff just makes my skin crawl.

What's funny is that I can make it through The 120 Days of Sodom without blinking, but I think that's because De Sade insisted on using the driest, most tortured language possible.

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Wardog

at 21:15 on 2009-04-27Sorry Cyrus. I'm not sure but I think it's probably easier to be into erotic non-con / rape fantasy if you're a woman than a man, either because you're more likely to imagine yourself as the rapee rather than the rapist which is slightly easier to deal with morally speaking or because the world seems generally reluctant to admit that women can rape people too. Whereas if you're a man who fantasies about forcing women to have sex with him ... well ... hostility many ensue from quarters unwilling to concede the very real difference between fantasy, reality and simulated non-con.

Hmm, I think the thing about 120 Days of Sodom is that, as you say, it's incredibly dull. And de Sade is a terrible writer. There's only one thing worse than a rape scene and that's a badly written rape scene!

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Arthur B

at 21:18 on 2009-04-27I do wonder sometimes whether deSade was an early pen-and-paper troll. Most of his books seem to be the literary equivalent of telling someone a particular link goes to an interesting and thought-provoking philosophy website when actually it points to goatse or 2girls1cup.

I mean, he went to jail for it, but you have to make sacrifices for "the lulz", as I believe the young people call it these days.

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http://roisindubh211.livejournal.com/

at 02:43 on 2009-04-28"Constantly depicting characters who react to it in courageous and life-enhancing ways is not empowering, it’s fucking demeaning to people who struggle along every day as best they can."

I have to disagree here- not with the point you make, but with the accusation being levelled at Monette. Felix has spent three books getting abused and every reaction to it has been, basically, "I was right all along, I am worthless. Hmmm, should I hurt myself again or just re-alienate everyone who cares about me tonight?" The enormity of the gang-rape is something he's not prepared to consider his just desserts, and it isn't the only influence on his growth as a person. A lot has to do with having Mildmay -who has been developing his own self-confidence, on his own, without the help of shitty things happening to him- be there for him and push and push to get him (Felix) not to hurt himself any more.

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Wardog

at 09:13 on 2009-04-28

The enormity of the gang-rape is something he's not prepared to consider his just desserts, and it isn't the only influence on his growth as a person.

I do see your point and I wasn't really dissing Monette, who I actually adore. There was just something about this scene, or the way it was presented, or *something* that was a bridge too far for me. And at first I was inclined to just ignore it and tell myself to stop being a wuss and then I got interested in *why* this scene was so problematic and, secondarily, I realised that, on a wider level, it should probably be okay to stand up and say "for me, this gang rape is not okay."

I will at some point finish Corambis, because I have *hugely* enjoyed the Doctrine of Labyrinths quartet (I have some reviews knocking around here in which I give much sweet sweet love), I think I just need some time to get away from the gang rape.

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Wardog

at 09:29 on 2009-04-28

I do wonder sometimes whether deSade was an early pen-and-paper troll

Dan and I like the idea of historical trolls, and also explains the Marquis far more than most of pop-psych nonsense I've read does =P

Lucifer, of course, would be the first troll - complaining about the mods.

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http://miss-morland.livejournal.com/

at 11:54 on 2009-04-28*giggles at the thought of de Sade and Lucifer as trolls*

I haven't read Monette's books, but I still found this post very interesting - it articulates my issues with non-con and dub-con in fiction very well. (I do wonder, though, if ambiguous portrayals of rape scenes are sometimes meant to make the readers think and question their own attitudes, instead of jumping to the safe reaction of 'OMG so horrible'?)

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Dan H

at 14:25 on 2009-04-28

I do wonder, though, if ambiguous portrayals of rape scenes are sometimes meant to make the readers think and question their own attitudes, instead of jumping to the safe reaction of 'OMG so horrible'?)

You might well be right, but even if that is the intent, it's a deeply flawed one.

Perhaps I'm just an arrogant shit, but I really hate it when people try to make me think about stuff unless it's in a medium *specifically designed* for that.

If you want to challenge my preconceptions about rape, write a book that is *about* challenging my preconcieved notions about rape. Don't try to do it in the middle of a fantasy series that is mostly about hot gay wizards gettin' it on.

If I want to have my ideas about absuse challenged, I'll read Lolita, or possibly I'll track down some abuse-survivors' weblogs. I won't read an otherwise ordinary fantasy novel or, for that matter, watch

Dollhouse

.

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Dan H

at 16:05 on 2009-04-28

The enormity of the gang-rape is something he's not prepared to consider his just desserts

I can't speak for Kyra, but the problem I have with this is that it suggests, falsely, that the more traumatic an experience is the less likely you are to blame yourself for it. I'm by no means an expert on the subject of abuse survival but from my limited experience people's tendency to self-blame for things is wholly unrelated to the severity of the abuse suffered. For that matter, the whole idea of rating abuse experiences in order of severity is a bit of a dodgy precedent.

Essentially I think there's an important, and worrying, difference between "Felix has experienced things like this before but, because he has grown as a person, and because of the influence of Mildmay, he does not blame himself for this experience" and "Felix has experienced things like this before but, because this experience is so much worse than the others, he cannot blame himself for it".

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http://sistermagpie.livejournal.com/

at 21:38 on 2009-05-01I haven't read this last book yet, but I'm glad for the heads-up. Having read the other 3 I can definitely see how this kind of thing would play, and I'm not surprised that she'd planned something like this from the beginning. It does make you think thought, about the idea that this character is constantly going through situations like this, and it's finally when he acheives the kind of abuse he might have always thought would be what he deserved, that he realizes he didn't deserve it. Even if Mildmay and other experiences are also part of his turnaround, I don't know whether that kind of catalyst will click for me the way another one might.

Like, rather than having him be in a situatio that's the same as before, but with one clear difference that makes him see it clearly, it's almost like Helen Keller at the well. Repeated fingerspelling over and over and finally he gets it.

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Wardog

at 15:28 on 2009-05-11I lost this temporarily in the deluge of comments about other things.

It is possible I've over-reacted to the gang rape; I suppose responses to these sort of motifs are always going to be extremely personal. I feel almost hypocritical because, as you say, there's plenty of indication previously that we were on the Sex Abuse Superhighway and something like this was probably bound to happen. But the way it's framed and written, combinated with its narrative function as a catalyst for change really really squicked me out. I know it's not necessarily meant to be psychologically plausible but there's something deeply worrying in the idea that there is a scale of sexual abuse, the extreme end of which teaches you self respect.

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valse de la lune

at 14:04 on 2011-07-12I tracked down

this interview

and I'm now extremely, thoroughly grossed out with Sarah Monette:

I think this does happen to gay male protagonists (the most obvious example is Mercedes Lackey's Last Herald-Mage books). And I think Felix does fall into this trap to a certain extent, although in my defense I will say that the reason he gets raped is because I was interested in the tension inherent in a character who could be both rapist and victim. Which could have been a woman, or a heterosexual man, but it was most obvious and easiest to mobilize with a gay man. I also chose a gay male protagonist because my abiding interest is in the power dynamics of human relationships, especially sexual relationships, and it is VERY VERY HARD to write about that with a heterosexual female protagonist without pigeon-holing her and yourself into either a re-inscription of patriarchal gender roles (male dominant, female submissive) or a simple gender reversal (female dominant, male submissive) (which I did work with some in my novella, "A Gift of Wings," in The Queen in Winter). A lesbian relationship is also a possibility, but it's far more interesting and attention-grabbing to take power away from a man than it is to give power to a woman. [...] Also, because we live in a patriarchal society and have for several thousand years, there's nothing new or shocking about the idea that women are victims. (I'm not saying this is a good thing, mind you.) You can get more narrative charge out of victimizing a man and you aren't reinscribing the same old gender role patterns into that ever deeper groove of men act and women suffer.

What the fuck, Monette? My word, lesbian relationships aren't just ~hawt~ enough unlike slender

yaoi stereotypes

wizards sexing it up and... female empowerment is just too boring? Female victimization is just too

banal

to write about so gay men being degraded (and in this case, often raped by women) has more "narrative charge"? There's also something toward the end that basically goes "well, if you are writing about male rape it's super

titillating

shocking so people will recognize RAPE IS HORRIBLE whereas women being raped is just so

every day

so... hey, manpain! That'll get people

thinking

, right? Right!"

I don't know, all of this reads like the slash fangirl's justification why she's not interested in writing girls but wants to write hot boys instead, all disguised under a pretend layer of ~*soshul justeese*~.

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Wardog

at 23:33 on 2011-07-12Oh dear. I'm actually really annoyed with myself that it took me to Book IV to unpack what was going on with the, err, sexay mainpain and all the arse rape. I did quite like Monette initially - I think partially because when I first read Melusine I was still under the impression that gay characters were pretty rare in fantasy. To give Monette credit, when she actually bothers to be interested in them, she does write interesting female characters - I mean I *loved* Mehitabel from this series.

I think what freaks me out the most is that, as you observe, it's blatant titillation under the label of trangression. I have no problems with people getting their kicks from whatever they get their kicks from, as long as it's a carefully demarcated fantasy space, but pretending it's anything else is deeply toxic.

Also that interview was just awful :(

Maybe it's just because it doesn't apply to me but I don't understand why so many women find two dudes so unbelievably hawt but two women apparently tedious. Ho hum.

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valse de la lune

at 05:06 on 2011-07-13I think gay characters are still pretty rare in fantasy, but the gay dudes all seem to come from the same wellspring of fanfic tropes. I've read all the arguments as to why dudeslash is a female-positive space that enables women to explore their sexuality and I do get some of it, but I can't shake the feeling that so much of that is hot air; no matter how hard a slash fan argues I can't really see how spamming rape at gay dudes is particularly, y'know, feminist. Maybe it plays with power dynamics and whatnot but, on the other hand,

rape culture

.

I don't get the thing with YAY HAWT BOYS EWW GIRLS ARE BORING either, though it's been explained to me that most female characters aren't decently written so people'd sooner generate fanfic about boys instead. But that doesn't fly because fandom churns out great volumes of fanfic dedicated to minor male characters, even though some of them barely have a presence in the book/show/movie--see Figwit of the LOTR movies fame--whereas women, primary or tertiary, still get written out or villified. There are even

bingo cards

. Somewhere in that

is

a valid clause regarding how we're trained to look at media through male gateways thanks to patriarchy and we internalize that. Still don't get it on a personal level because I've always preferred female characters over male, but there it goes.

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Melissa G.

at 06:30 on 2011-07-13

Maybe it's just because it doesn't apply to me but I don't understand why so many women find two dudes so unbelievably hawt but two women apparently tedious. Ho hum.

Speaking as a straight woman who gets paid to translate yaoi, I can understand that pretty well. :-) It's not that I find girls boring as characters, but as someone who isn't sexually attracted to women, I find myself gravitating toward situations where I can look at/write about two sexy boys instead if I'm looking for smexy times. (Though I'm very, very picky these days about yaoi because of tropes I'm sure I've mentioned before.)

I feel some sympathy for Monette because I do have a hard time verbalizing my tastes without resorting to those same basic arguments about power play or feeling the need to judge the female character and how she is portrayed specifically because she's female (which I wish I didn't, but I do so...). What I find odd is the fact that everyone insists on asking me *why* I find male-on-male romance so appealing, and then I'm stuck in this hem-hawing, putting-on-airs defense because I'm too embarrassed to just go, "Two guys doing stuff to each other is hot?"

(Uh-oh, now I'm having Dorian Gray flashbacks. Oh, Ben Barnes, you scamp, you!!)

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Steve Stirling at 07:07 on 2011-07-13

I don't get the thing with YAY HAWT BOYS EWW GIRLS ARE BORING either

-- you get exactly the same in reverse from male writers a lot, so I don't see that there's any mystery about it.

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valse de la lune

at 07:20 on 2011-07-13I don't think Kyra's asking "why male-on-male?" but more "why do people find women inexplicably boring?"

but as someone who isn't sexually attracted to women, I find myself gravitating toward situations where I can look at/write about two sexy boys instead if I'm looking for smexy times.

That doesn't make sense to me because, even outside of sexual context, a lot of slashers just don't want to write women period and I'm sure we don't always only write about what's sexually/romantically attractive to us (or no straight man would ever write male characters).

It also doesn't really answer why women are so villified and hated by fandom at large: why people like Monette believe "it's more interesting to take power away from a man than to give power to a woman," or why slash is passed off as some wonderful female-positive space when it involves a lot of female-negative things, including but not limited to slut-shaming and othering women. Ogle hot boys, whatever (but even so, why so much fucking rape all the fucking time? Why the infantilizing tropes?). But I think you can do that without contributing to misogyny and rape culture.

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Steve Stirling at 07:24 on 2011-07-13

I don't think Kyra's asking "why male-on-male?" but more "why do people find women inexplicably boring?"

-- I don't. I actually had to start flipping coins at one point to make sure my characters weren't predominantly female.

Maybe it's because I was in single-sex schools for a lot of my adolescence, but I just find women more interesting than men. More complex and variable, on average.

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Steve Stirling at 07:38 on 2011-07-13

Ogle hot boys, whatever (but even so, why so much fucking rape all the fucking time? Why the infantilizing tropes?). But I think you can do that without contributing to misogyny and rape culture.

-- I don't read much (any, really) slash, but the actually-published equivalents like the book described here don't seem particularly misogynist to me. Just obsessed with Hot Boys in Chains.

As for the rape and stuff, a lot of people get off on that. Trying to tell people that the sexual fantasies which ring their chimes aren't permissible is roughly equivalent to trying to scold water until it voluntarily runs uphill. Much effort, little result.

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valse de la lune

at 07:45 on 2011-07-13

I don't. I actually had to start flipping coins at one point to make sure my characters weren't predominantly female.

Thank you, Minority Warrior, but if you are a bloke that's not exactly addressed to you.

I don't read much (any, really) slash, but the actually-published equivalents like the book described here don't seem particularly misogynist to me. Just obsessed with Hot Boys in Chains.

I've only read the first book and the gang-rape scene in the fourth, but a lot of the women in this series like to rape gay men for some strange reason.

Melusine

opens with an anecdote about the pure, true love between men. Two women get between it; one proceeds to rape one of the men repeatedly until he wants to kill himself. So, yes, both fandom slash and published slash perpetuate a lot of the same crap. Then there's Monette's interview and strange leaps of illogic which read sexist as hell to me.

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Melissa G.

at 08:48 on 2011-07-13

That doesn't make sense to me because, even outside of sexual context, a lot of slashers just don't want to write women period and I'm sure we don't always only write about what's sexually/romantically attractive to us (or no straight man would ever write male characters).

I can't speak to that. I don't know why so many writers are so anti-female characters, and it would take me pages of musing to try and come to a conclusion. I was referring specifically to sexual situations (by which I mean stories centering on sex) because the comment I was particularly responding to was "why do so many women find two dudes so unbelievably hot but two women apparently tedious". Which I read as "why do so many women love writing about two guys (sexually) but find writing about two women so boring (sexually)". Perhaps I misinterpreted what Kyra was saying. I stated clearly that I don't find women boring as characters to read and write about, but that I understand why many women gravitate toward male homosexual relationships and why they might find it arousing when they are writing merely to titillate themselves/others.

I haven't read the series in question so I take everyone's word for it that the rape isn't handled well and misogyny abounds. And trust me, I'm the first person to get fed up with the kind of tropes male-on-male stuff tends to come with - especially when written by someone who's probably never even spoken to a gay man before. I got fed up with one author in particular because her protagonists kept falling for their rapists, yuck. But just because a lot of it sucks and perpetuates some seriously shitty stuff doesn't mean that it's not okay to find guy-on-guy stuff hot. And I really don't appreciate being made to feel like because I like it, I am somehow in danger of losing my feminist card.

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valse de la lune

at 09:57 on 2011-07-13I don't think I have been suggesting that if you like slash, you're in danger of losing your feminist cred; being a feminist doesn't exactly mean everything you consume must be feminist, after all, and we all enjoy things that are problematic to some degree. I just don't like how it's put forward as a YAY WOMEN field when it's not really. Likewise, I've been shouted down in fandom spaces for calling out misogyny in slash, something along the line of

you will find it is you who is misogyny

.

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valse de la lune

at 10:06 on 2011-07-13(Sorry that I'm coming down harshly such that you feel you're being discredited as a feminist, though.)

One more thing--I've been told over and over that there is a strong presence of queer women in slash circles, so for some it's not so much a matter of "I'm straight so more cocks yay!!!" In fact, with so many queer women around--so many lesbians even--you'd think there would be more F/F fanfic. But there isn't, so...

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Melissa G.

at 10:23 on 2011-07-13

I don't think I have been suggesting that if you like slash, you're in danger of losing your feminist cred

I think I was responding defensively to this comment:

Ogle hot boys, whatever (but even so, why so much fucking rape all the fucking time? Why the infantilizing tropes?). But I think you can do that without contributing to misogyny and rape culture.

It basically felt to me like my entire sexual preference/fetish/whatever was being boiled down to "ogling hot boys". It’s those kinds of dismissive, judgmental comments that make me feel like I need to somehow justify what I find arousing. That’s why you have people arguing that it’s pro-women or empowering or whatever to write and read man-on-man love stories. When an attraction is called into question, I think often women in particular feel the need to base that attraction in something intellectual and philosophical. Because it would be wrong for a woman to just find something titillating or arousing. Because women aren’t supposed to like sex just for sex.

I think there are ways that it can be empowering (I wouldn't go so far as to say 'feminist'), but most of it fails in this regard. For me, when I read a story with a male bottom that I can relate to as far as sexual behavior, it makes me feel less weird. There's something freeing about the behavior being related to the position and not the gender, for me anyway. I think that also relates to why an author might find it more interesting (and by interesting I mean because they find it hot) to take power away from men. For some women who are attracted to men, there is something very fascinating and seductive about a man submitting (either sexually or emotionally), probably because it's something so commonly associated with female behavior. So again, it becomes less of a gender thing and more of a relationship role thing. If that makes any sense....

I just don't like how it's put forward as a YAY WOMEN field when it's not really.

I totally understand that. I actually avoid fan written slash like the plague because most of it is just not good. Most of it is (I think) influenced by yaoi, which oh dear god, has such problems. There is so much rape and questionable consent and a lot of "I'm only gay for that guy" and such overly traditional female behavior (even though one of them is male, go figure). And the kind of people you've probably argued with are likely the kind of people who make me afraid to admit I'm part of the yaoi subculture.

But there is good stuff out there. I promise. :-)

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Melissa G.

at 10:26 on 2011-07-13

One more thing--I've been told over and over that there is a strong presence of queer women in slash circles, so for some it's not so much a matter of "I'm straight so more cocks yay!!!" In fact, with so many queer women around--so many lesbians even--you'd think there would be more F/F fanfic. But there isn't, so...

Sorry, I made my long post before I saw this! That is odd. Why don't they focus on yuri? Yuri is slowly becoming a more female dominated genre. It's kind of cool actually that the female authors are slowly co-opting a genre that was once basically male-written lesbian porn for men. To each their own, I guess?

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valse de la lune

at 10:59 on 2011-07-13

It basically felt to me like my entire sexual preference/fetish/whatever was being boiled down to "ogling hot boys".

But... I said that because I think it's pretty dandy if you're just in it for the ogling of hot boys, or balls being cupped gently, or even self-lubing anuses. I don't think you, or anyone else, need to justify it any further than that. Think it's hot? Go for it! That's excellent. Objectifying

men

in and of itself, separate from the concern over straight people fetishizing homosexuality, doesn't really bother me. I'm not questioning the appeal of slash: I'm questioning some of the tropes, the homophobia, the misogyny. Which certainly aren't universal, but there sure is a lot of them to go around. Hell, gay male characters written by straight men also get raped an awful lot (hi Richard Morgan, thank you for that graphic schoolboy gang rape).

Disclosure: I think lesbians are awesome. I'd like to read more stuff with lesbian representation. Being homoromantic does have something to do with it, though.

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Melissa G.

at 11:11 on 2011-07-13

But... I said that because I think it's pretty dandy if you're just in it for the ogling of hot boys, or balls being cupped gently, or even self-lubing anuses. I don't think you, or anyone else, need to justify it any further than that.

:-) I think it just came off as hostile because of the swearing, lol. To be honest, I was probably overly defensive because it's kind of a touchy thing for me.

I'm not questioning the appeal of slash: I'm questioning some of the tropes, the homophobia, the misogyny.

Yes, I'm with you here. I have a lot of trouble with a lot of boy/boy stuff that's out there.

Re: Lesbians

If you're looking to try out some yuri, I can lead you to some scanlation sites. I haven't read much yuri so I can't totally vouch for the content, but these are sites that I know of:

Lililicious

Payapaya

Just be sure to check for ratings and such. There was one on Lilicious I read years ago that I was enjoying.

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valse de la lune

at 11:14 on 2011-07-13OMG yay :D :D :D Thanks for the links. My friend's been sending me some too. I'm also quite pleased to see that a lot of yuri writers are female. Awesome.

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Cammalot

at 15:23 on 2011-07-13I JUST WANNA WATCH DUDES EMOTE. ;-)

I actually got into yaoi (not slash for whatever reason) because I was attracted to what I thought was the innate equality in such a a relationship. There are a variety of reasons I don't really seek out much fanfic anymore (one of which is the decade-plus that has gone by) but one of them is that I don't really see that equality getting embraced. (I'm necessarily truncating this, I have to imitate being a productive employee at the moment.)

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Melissa G.

at 19:40 on 2011-07-13

I JUST WANNA WATCH DUDES EMOTE. ;-)

Ooh, yes, good observation. I like that too.

I actually got into yaoi (not slash for whatever reason) because I was attracted to what I thought was the innate equality in such a a relationship.

Ditto. That's what I really like about it too, which is why I hate when they skew the power dynamic too far in one direction without somehow compensating for it in another way. I've never been into fanfic, but I do love doujinshi.

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Cammalot

at 19:48 on 2011-07-13I wrote up this whole long comment yesterday, but today with you guys' further conversation I realized I was addressing something that Pyro was not talking about, so I'm tweaking, but I don't think I'll have a chance to get to it today.

The extremely short version is that there's a very definite blockage that some women seem to have about writing women, and I had it myself for some time (and that some more extreme versions of it outright baffle me), and have spent a lot of time trying to process, discuss, and debate what the fuck that is about. With theories. I have theories.

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Melissa G.

at 19:53 on 2011-07-13

The extremely short version is that there's a very definite blockage that some women seem to have about writing women,

Definitely noticed this myself at times. I gravitate toward writing male characters, or at least I used to. I'm very interested to hear your theories whenever you find the time to write them up. :-)

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Sister Magpie

at 20:07 on 2011-07-13

Sorry, I made my long post before I saw this! That is odd. Why don't they focus on yuri? Yuri is slowly becoming a more female dominated genre. It's kind of cool actually that the female authors are slowly co-opting a genre that was once basically male-written lesbian porn for men. To each their own, I guess?

I would guess that that's probably not all that related to the whole "that's my kink" thing, only not all kinks are sexual. That is, expecting them to explain it would probably be similar to having anybody explain why they find one thing more hot than another.

For instance, I like het and I like slash, but there are certain kinds of stories that could definitely be considered non-sexual kinks that I am more likely to read about in a m/m pairing than a f/m pairing or f/f pairing. I suppose I could try to relate it to power issues with gender IRL, but it's probably more just a kink if it's something I've pretty much always been drawn to.

I don't find that rape or "I'm only gay for that guy" seems to dominate most of the slash I come across, but I think that might often come down to different pairings leaning towards different dynamics. Or else also some authors being better than most.

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Steve Stirling at 22:44 on 2011-07-13Pyrofennec:

-of the women in this series like to rape gay men for some strange reason.Melusine opens with an anecdote about the pure, true love between men. Two women get between it; one proceeds to rape one of the men repeatedly until he wants to kill himself.

-- that is odd. I'd say it was evidence of misogyny if a guy wrote it, but I have trouble -imagining- a guy writing it, even a gay man. You'd need a very strange set of quirks to do so.

#Ferretbrain #Corambis #Sarah Monette #Wardog

[dimples-of-discontent]

Reporting in from Paleyfest

I have returned from Paleyfest (and some drinks with friends afterwards so sorry for the delay)! It was a great experience - the crowd was psyched and it was all super fun. I’m glad you all got the livestream so you can enjoy the whole panel too. I’m actually pretty surprised that there wasn’t some kind of announcement made, either about possible Season 14 (although Singer alluded to it with “maybe we’ll go there next season” it’s not a confirmation and he could just be assuming) or about Wayward. It seemed like with this much PR going on there would be something substantial to promote BUT the crossover ep itself is a big deal and a long time in the making so I guess it was the occasion.

Speaking of the crossover episode, I’m going to break the rules (or the very polite request that they gave us) to not spoil it for anyone else. @tinkdw asked me to and I’m guessing there are other people out there who’d like to know some the details in advance. (I’m also not a member of the press or anything or else I’d have more qualms about making public stuff they asked to keep on the DL since it would be job-related.)

SO - I am putting my thoughts on the episode below a cut. If you read on, know that I will spoil the whole plot and also give you my initial analysis of it from the perspective I usually have (Destiel-positive, endgame-positive). And if you’d rather not spoil, just scroll on.

@elizabethrobertajones @naruhearts @sactownbrowns3 @amwritingmeta @postmodernmulticoloredcloak @mittensmorgul @amyoatmeal and any other meta writers (who I forgot b/c it’s 4:30am to my body clock) I’m alerting you to the existence of this post in case you want the episode details ahead of time BUT in your position I probably wouldn’t so don’t feel in any way bad if you don’t want to read now. (I’ll reblog once it airs.)

***SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT LIKE WOAH***

I loved this episode!! It was a ton of fun. It was slapstick and silly but did some heavy lifting too. Honestly, it worked the way a lot of our favorite crack episodes did and alluded to at least one of them explicitly (”Changing Channels,” obvs, and I think there may have been more subtle references to others). 

I’m too tired to do a full meta analysis but here’s a kind of bullet recap, first of the most plot-based elements:

The plot turns on the fact that the Scooby Doo world, suddenly, ends up functioning like the world Sam and Dean inhabit. The boys enter the cartoon assuming all usual cartoon rules would apply (and Dean’s ready to have a rollicking good time with them) only to discover that the first murder in the haunted house is real. Ghosts are real. Death is real. Sam wants to tell the Scooby gang about it from the get-go but Dean wants to protect them and preserve their innocence. 

It’s already obviously about childhood, and losing it, but Dean makes it explicit by talking about how much he loved Scooby Doo because no matter where their dad had dragged them it would always be on. They were his friends and constant companions. He is really being thrown into the best part of his childhood....and you can see why it would be the best because it’s probably his fantasy and deepest wish that the ghosts, demons, etc. of the world he inhabits would turn out just to be bad guys in masks, death wouldn’t be real, etc. It’s Dean safe place in childhood because it takes his actual life (ghost hunting) and makes it safe and even fun. Dean wants to keep his safe place safe and is shocked and horrified when the rules of his universe invade.

It’s Sam who wants to tell them the truth about monsters from the word “go” even before it’s been revealed that death can come to Scooby Doo. (Dean laments, heartbreakingly, that it doesn’t matter if he dies...what’s important is that they make sure Scooby doesn’t die because clearly he’s such an innocent creature.) Sam, who did not have his childhood cut as abruptly short as Dean and who did not have to seek solace in a cartoon world because Dean helped him make a safe space in the real world, doesn’t see the point of lying about ghosts being real. Dean, who worked to keep Sam safe from this knowledge for YEARS of his own stunted childhood by acting as a parent, does want to keep the gang in the dark because he wants them to retain their innocence. It’s a huge lampshade to the different experiences Sam and Dean had as children and as sons.

They do eventually have to tell the Scooby gang and, wonderfully, it induces an existential crisis in them. Watching Daphne question the existence of God based on what she has inferred about the afterlife is amazing. It is not what I expected. Dean brings them back from the brink by reminding them of all the good work they had done before.

I’m going to tell the ending now and then double back to some other observations: the phantom they are chasing is the ghost of a small boy who is being manipulated, through a cursed object (a pocket knife given to him by his beloved father before he died), by an unscrupulous man (the real estate agent who we met in the beginning) who unleashes the boy’s anger on whoever he chooses for his own purpose...to scare people off of property he wants to buy. This way, the villain of a typical Scooby episode actually becomes the villain of this SPN episode...the evil real estate developer. 

Before heading back to their world, where they burn the pocket knife and free the ghost, Dean convinces Sam and Cas to lie to the Scooby gang and tell them that they were right initially--ghosts aren’t real. He goes so far as to stage the unmasking of the cartoon villain (the one from the original Scooby episode) and helps them to explanations involving wires, cornstarch blood, etc. Sam is grumpy about it but does it anyway. It’s crucial to Dean that they leave the Scooby gang as they found them and not saddle them with the world the Winchesters live in.

Let me just reiterate...the ghost that has been terrorizing them is frightened little boy. Who kept a pocket knife (much like the one we see being used to carve the Winchester’s initials into the Impala) as a token of his dead father. His father is symbolized and memorialized by a weapon. The weapon is the object the little boy is tied to and that another man--a bad man--can use to manipulate him into hurting others because “I just get so angry sometimes.” To be free, the knife (weapon, father’s legacy) has to be burned. There are closeups on a very sad Dean while this happens (some sad Sam and Cas too).

It is blindingly obvious that the little boy, who is wreaking havoc on the cartoon safe space of his childhood, represents Dean. To stop the destruction Dean has to let something go (he starts the episode referencing Elsa and EXPLICITLY SAYING THIS LINE I CAN’T EVEN). Something that is keeping him angry. Something that is tied to his father. Something that can be used to manipulate him, employed as a weapon to hurt other innocent people (Mark of Cain/Demon Dean plot lines). Dean is full of anger and of self-loathing and it’s coming from the same source. That source is toxic masculinity. Let it go, Dean. Let it go.

Is it also tied to issues of sexuality? I think so. I’ll reflect a little bit below, but I wanted to do the whole plot-based analysis first. 

And now the less plot-based stuff:

Ok, so can the ghost represent repressed sexuality/a different form of masculinity? SO MUCH YES. Point one: Cas is the only one who stops to take a look at the ghost and is thisclose to seeing through it’s big ol’scary disguise and finding a vulnerable child. He stops and squints at it, Cas-style, and says “I’ve never seen a ghost wear such a ridiculous costume. Unless...” and then he reaches out to it, starting to push aside the veil only to be pulled away. Now if that isn’t metaphorically precisely what Cas did, and does, for Dean and his performing facade I will buy a hat so that I can eat it. 

Point two, there is a scene where the ghost is chasing everyone through a series of doors on either side of a hallway (you know the scene...they run across the hallway, doors open and shut on either side, feet flying everywhere). They successfully shut the ghost in a closet with iron chains, though it’s close to breaking out. Daphne presses her body up against the door to hold it. Dean checks her out very obviously in a way that is both superfluous to and inconsistent with the plot. This means that the silhouette of a conventionally sexy woman is QUITE LITERALLY holding the closet door closed on the ghost. Metaphorically, it shows how Dean is able to use his attraction to conventionally sexy women to hold back what’s haunting him...attraction to men, ideas about a certain type of masculinity. Does it work? BIG FAT NO. The ghost breaks out anyway. (<Puts on professor cap> Have you guys read “The Beast in the Closet”? It’s by Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick and is about "intense male homosocial desire as at once the most compulsory and the most prohibited of social bonds.” It’s about Henry James’s work but I think you would all dig it. <Takes off professor cap.>)

I wanted to start with that because I can tell that people are going to be very upset about Dean’s excessive flirtation with/pursuit of Daphne. And, yeah, I almost injured my eyes by rolling them so hard at some of the things he says. BUT THAT’S THE POINT. What he’s saying is a child’s idea of how a grown man would act with a woman he likes. And it bears a great deal of similarity to how Dean does act sometimes. We call it performing!Dean and wonder to what extent Dean is conscious of his performing. Given this episode I’d say..maybe .not that conscious? I feel like the overstated heterosexual dudebroness was done specifically to give us an over-exaggerated literal cartoon version of heterosexual Dean to compare to regular Dean so that anyone who doesn’t know Dean performs in his own life will have a lens through which to see it.

Also, Daphne is his childhood crush. OF COURSE he’s going to act like a moron around her. If I encountered [insert childhood TV crush here...for me it was Kevin from “The Wonder Years” for whatever reason] I’d act dumb as fuck! But you have to remember that she represents innocence for him...it’s established that all the Scoobies do (heh - puns!). Even if he’s kissing her hand or putting an arm around her or whatever there is no danger there, just like there’s no danger in the ghosts. Sexuality to Dean isn’t scary in Scooby Doo because it’s simple: it’s just a girl he likes. Except, just like how the ghosts are also dangerous, the love plot isn’t going to be that simple or that straightforward (heh - straight). You see where I’m going. Dean would rather be in a universe ghosts weren’t real because it’s safer and easier and kind of a fantasy land but they ARE real and he will have to deal with them; Dean would also rather be in a world where he was a suave, irresistible ladies’ man because it’s safer and easier and a kind of fantasy....but he’s not. Jensen even said so in his interview. Granted, Jensen’s comment may have just meant that Dean’s not suave like he thinks. But the actual episode draws a parallel that’s pretty damn clear.

Another reason to not worry: Daphne is zero interest in Dean at all. She has negative interest in Dean. Her lack of interest in Dean has created a void that is sucking all the air out of the room. She may not even know that Dean is hitting on her. She is so focused on Fred that no one else exists for her as a romantic interest. They are so obviously a pair, even though they are never shown to be together as a couple explicitly. <Stares directly into the camera like I’m on The Office.> Can Dean not see that? Is he blind? Well, he does see it, but he thinks Daphne is “settling” for Fred who represents a kind of masculinity that makes him uncomfortable (more in a sec). In point of fact, no one is romantically interested in Dean in this episode...unlike Sam who gets a lot of appreciation (and an eventual kiss) from Velma.

 As for Fred, Dean begins by really hating him (so much that Sam remarks on it) and when pressed about why he attributes it to Fred’s self-confidence despite things like his “stupid ascot.” Dean comes to like and admire Fred and, ultimately, have the confidence to wear an ascot himself BECAUSE HE LIKES IT. It didn’t make Fred less of a man. It doesn’t make Dean less of a man to wear it with his plaid shirt. Fred helps Dean along the way to some self-acceptance. It’s nice. Fred is there to serve as a contrast to Dean’s overblown notions of what is “masculine” and offer another form of masculinity that is, manifestly, still appealing to the ladies.

Now, remember the Scooby Doo universe doesn’t have sex in it. It’s a cartoon. And they bend those rules only the tiniest bit here. All of Dean’s advances and even his jokes are PG. That innocence on the part of the Scoobies is played for laughs, Daphne remarking that Dean is silly for not knowing that “boys and girls don’t sleep in the same room” for example, but it’s also integral to the plot. (There are some other jokes too and, for a glorious second, I thought that they were legitimately going to reveal that Daphne and Velma were a thing but sadly not.) No one would want to ruin the Scooby universe by telling them about sex...not even Dean. Again, it contains a child’s conception of relationships.

I’m imagining some people will also be upset about how the episode treats Cas. I was especially stung that, right at the outset, Dean says flat-out that “Cas is basically a talking dog.” I made a noise of indignation that made people look at me. BUT let’s also remember how much Dean loves that talking dog. He’d die for him. He wants to protect him at any cost. He doesn’t want to spoil his innocence. So, yeah, that’s not a nice thing to say but it’s also not the whole story. Cas is grouped with Scooby and Shaggy the whole time and he bonds with them, SMILING (ALERT ALERT CARTOON CASTIEL KNOWS HOW TO SMILE) AND LAUGHING when he has to leave. He thanks them for showing him the importance of humor even in dangerous times. I think it’s a good lesson for Cas and his real affection for them reminds me of what a soft character he is inside, wanting to get a cat or save monkeys or keep bees. That’s been missing from Cas lately (even though I do LOVE bamf!Cas) so maybe this will help him recall it.

I want to say again that Cas is the one who can see through the ghost and its “ridiculous costume.”

Interestingly, both his entrances (his first appearance after Fred and Dean take off to drag race; when he reunites with the boys in the haunted house) frame him as a scary villain. The first is from behind and you just see the coat billowing out (though this did remind me of the girl running the drag race in “Grease” which...lol); the second he’s silhouetted in a window, approaching it in the rain, and is then covered with a sheet before he’s “unmasked” by Dean and discovered to be a friend. This is...pretty much Castiel’s character progression always. Looks like a threat but is discovered not to be.

Once they get back to their regular world Dean makes a remark about how that was the most fun he’s ever had “including that time with the Cartwright twins.” Cas studies him and asks “What did you do with the Cartwright twins?”. There’s a long beat in which Dean looks shifty and grins and shakes his head and turns away. Sam says “I don’t think I want to know.” Cas says nothing. Cas does want to know. This is new and part of a general progression that @amwritingmeta wrote a great analysis of where Cas is becoming able to think something like Forget that sacred oath...I must know what Dean did with those twins.

There was probably more, you guys, but it’s super late for my poor body clock. Please feel free to pass this on to anyone you think would like it but bear in mind that a) there are MASSIVE SPOILERS, b) this is just my interpretation of the episode, and c) I only saw it live once so my details may be wrong. 

I thought this as a fantastic episode the more I think about it and I’m SO EXCITED for all of you to get to see it too so I can hear your thoughts!! <3

#13x16 #13x16 meta #SPOILERS #dean is bi #doubles and mirrors #villains as exposition #things that look like other things #toxic masculinity ruins the party again #brother feels #parental unit dean #maybe more tags to add later not sure #paleyfest 2018 #my meta #long post for ts #spoilers for ts

[mothermaidenclone-blog]

Incredibles 2 or Yeah I Suppose it Was Alright or Whatever

I was pretty late to the Incredibles 2 party and so had inadvertently heard lots of opinion about it beforehand. Most people’s reviews seemed to land firmly in one of two camps: it was a real let down or that it blew people away and was the best movie they had ever seen. So, I went into the film with confused expectations. However, I have to say that I came down firmly in the middle - I thought Incredibles 2 was a solidly good movie. I was pleasantly impressed and I enjoyed myself, but I’m not fanatically hyping it up like so many people did to me. The women of Incredibles 2, on the other hand, were truly deserving of that moniker.

*Incredibles 2 spoilers follow*

Helen Parr, or Elastigirl, (Holly Hunter) took much more of a leading role in Incredibles 2 and a large chunk of this movie was about her coming to terms with her independent worth as superhero, separate from her husband Bob, or Mr. Incredible, (Craig T. Nelson). Elastigirl really took centre stage, as it was pointed out that, whilst both her and Mr. Incredible were good in a fight, she has much more control, tact and finesse. Because of this, wealthy brother and sister duo Winston (Bob Odenkirk) and Evelyn Deavor (Catherine Keener) select Helen over Bob for a public relations media stunt to restore the reputation of superheroes. Bob’s bitterness is immediately evident to a cringeworthy degree, and the rest of the film deals with them both coming to terms with their new roles.

Despite both Helen and Bob being crime fighting vigilantes on an equal footing by night, it does seem as though Helen is a stay at home mum and Bob is the one with a day job and career. Therefore, Helen leaving the family to work solo is a shock to both systems. Bob is immediately overwhelmed with what taking care of a family actually means, and his struggle goes a long way to validating the hard work Helen puts in to running things at home on a daily basis. In addition. Bob realises that he needs to do this so that Helen can have her moment in the spotlight and her chance to receive the acclamation that she deserves; he says, “I’ve got to succeed so she can succeed.” By the end of the movie, with a lot of help from a variety of others, Bob learns what it means to be an actively participating father, and it’s good to see a man being allowed to develop emotionally as a person in a traditionally feminine space; that of the domestic home.

Helen, on the other hand, seems to take to her new role with relative ease. She juggles performing amazing elastic based physics stunts on a motorcycle in a high speed chase with helping her son Dash (Huck Milner) find his shoes down the phone. Furthermore, once she has saved the entire monorail from utter destruction, Helen makes sure to ask how Bob is and check in on every member of the family before allowing herself to unload her excitement and pride in her accomplishments. As if this list needs any more added to it, not only can Helen competently pilot a helicopter, but she also checks that all the civilians inside can swim before booting them out of the door to relative watery safety. Helen is not only a caring, giving and loving wife and mother but also a brave and powerful superhero.

As part of Helen’s independent mission, she forms new relationships outside of her nuclear familial bonds. The most notable of these is with Evelyn, her aforementioned benefactor. The pair have a wonderfully genuine conversation about trying to succeed as a woman in a man’s world and attempting to be a female influencer. Evelyn has many impressive traits of her own - she is clearly the brains of the operation where her brother is more of a frontman and people person, once again highlighting the prominence of men taking credit for female achievements. Evelyn is a skilled designer and inventor, as well as apparently being in charge of company analytics. It’s such a shame, therefore, that Evelyn became the villain of this movie, although her motives are logical and well thought out. Evelyn is portrayed as much more mature than her brother, and accuses him of conflating the idea of superheroes existing with a time when his parents were alive, showing her to be more emotionally sophisticated and giving some credence to her role as the antagonist.

Incredibles 2 is somewhat characterised by relationships between powerful women, however brief they may be, and the mutual respect between Helen and the unnamed Ambassador (Isabella Rossellini) is one such example. After Helen saves her, the pair share the short exchange, “Bring lasting peace!”, “I will! When you defeat evil!” This tiny slice of dialogue might seem insignificant, but it’s so rare for women to interact on screen in such a mutually supportive way that has nothing to do with men that it’s worth noting. Especially when both women are acknowledging the power and responsibility they both hold. It is somewhat annoying that the ambassador is not granted a name, but in the same way that this is dehumanising to some extent, it also solidifies her position as a figure of authority who commands respect. Furthermore, as always, it’s good to see an older woman in a position of power.

One relationship that was somewhat absent was that of Helen and her daughter Violet (Sarah Vowell). This is, of course, because Violet is spending more time with her dad, which is also very important, and their relationship strengthens as they both develop a better understanding of each other. If I hadn’t seen the first Incredibles, I’d say that Violet’s character undergoes a journey of significant growth. However, she deals with much the same issues as she does in the first film - wrestling with not wanting her superpowers, accepting them and the responsibility that goes with them and therefore becoming more confident as a person, specifically with regard to her interactions with the opposite sex. All of this would be great if it wasn’t basically exactly what Violet went through in the previous movie. This is especially weird seeing as Incredibles 2 starts exactly where it’s predecessor finished, with Violet talking to her high school crush, Tony (Michael Bird), and then this film ends with them on a date. So, I can’t help but feel as though poor Violet is stuck in a bit of a developmental time loop.

One new - although again very brief - female relationship is that Violet has with a new superhero, Voyd (Sophia Bush). There’s a short but touching scene of the pair complimenting each other towards the end. Boyd is a very honest character, who serves to exemplify the metaphor of superheroes as any marginalised group by speaking about how she felt ostracised because of her abilities, and therefore how glad she is now to be a part of this new superhero family. Speaking of which, this new team assembled by the Deavor siblings - if we do not include Elastigirl - has a ratio of 5:1 male to female members, so this is either another comment about making it in a man’s world, or just some shitty statistics.

One final named female character remains, everybody’s favourite, Edna Mode (Brad Bird). Edna continues to be an endless fountain of witty, acerbic one-liners, but even she has some more in depth development in Incredibles 2. Bob leaves her with his baby, Jack Jack (Eli Fucile), so that she can design a super suit for him once he starts showing his powers, and Edna protests, “I am not a baby person, Robert. […] I am an artist!” This could have resolved itself in a very saccharine way, with Edna’s long dormant maternal instincts finally surfacing. However, the opposite happens, and Edna instead influences Jack Jack, bringing out the artist in him - he even begins to mimic Edna’s mannerisms and movements. They part ways as creative collaborators, not surrogate mother and baby.

Overall, Incredibles 2 is mainly the story of Helen as Elastigirl, and by extension, the story of women everywhere battling against the odds of sexism and the patriarchy, trying to succeed as both mothers and independent heroes. It’s also just a fun family movie where people make pew-pew noises with their mouths when using a baby as a laser gun, so maybe I’m reading into it a little too much.

And now for some asides:

I plan to save the clip of Edna justifying not having children because she’s an artist to my phone for family occasions to play when people ask where their grandchildren are.

Something about Evelyn reminded me of a proper old school Gerry Anderson puppet, except for her posture, which was the most relaxed and full of personality I think I’ve ever seen a woman be animated.

Ooh! I wonder if their red plates were the infamous radioactive Brilliant Red Fiesta Dinnerware! Maybe that’s where their superpowers come from!

#incredbles 2 #disney #pixar #film review #movie review #sci-fi #scifi #science fiction #feminism #superhero #elastigirl #holly hunter #craig t. nelson #bob odenkirk #catherine keener #feminist #edna mode #brad bird #sophia bush #sarah vowell

[icyandthefrostbites]

So, I have this relatively new coworker. He’s friendly and talkative, which isn’t really a problem unless you spend more than five minutes with him. After that, you learn he’s a misogynist, a racist, an anti-Semite, and he proudly voted for Trump. Shocking, I know. 

The first time we worked together, he didn’t really say anything that triggered any alarms or anything. He was just some dude who missed his old job -- that he’d lost due to the pandemic. My other coworkers, though? Red flags abound. 

He made several comments about woman, black women in particular, to one of my male coworkers -- he’s the only black male coworker we have. I don’t know the full extent of what was said between them, but the coworker felt VERY uncomfortable and told the guy something along the lines of “Look, my guy, I’m happily married and we have a kid. I find comments like that pretty offensive.” 

He also made some comments about women in general to our previous AGM before she left to her wonderful new job. She was ANGRY, which is an emotion that is nearly IMPOSSIBLE for this woman to experience. Legit, she’s one of the sweetest, kindest, nicest human beings you ever have the honor of meeting. Frustration, yeah I’ve seen that a couple of times. Irritation, sure on s few occasions. Anger, not so much. She reported him to our GM on her last day. 

And, speaking to one of my other coworkers, who is a black woman, this morning after I got in, she said that they had a small conversation last night before he left, and it made her cry. It’s along the lines of her apologizing for being a few minutes late bc she had to drop her daughter off at her sister’s place in Indiana. He asked why her husband didn’t just take care of her daughter. To be fair, perfectly normal response, as he doesn’t really know her or her situation, but the way he said it made my coworker feel attacked. She let him know that, unfortunately, her fiancé died in a terrible accident while their daughter was little. This man had the AUDACITY to laugh and say, “Ah, so it’s like that.” She didn’t say anything to him after that, just clocked in and tried not to cry until he left. I’m pretty sure she cursed him out as she was doing the dishes that he left behind. And this lady NEVER cries.

I told my manager to speak with her about the incident, as she had to leave to make sure her daughter made it to school this morning before he got in.

I didn’t really see any of it until the second time we worked together -- last night -- red flags ABOUND. Now, I can fit in with the Trump crowd pretty easily. I look like the “All American Woman” at work. And I know how to talk to people like that from YEARS of living with my family. It fucking sucks, more than anything, but I know when to bite my cheek and how to cutoff a conversation that makes me uncomfortable.

He claims to love his partner -- who actually sounds pretty cool, in my books -- but he makes it seem like she NEEDS him to help take care of her. That she NEEDS him to make sure that she takes her medication on time and eats right. He tries to control the way she dresses. He doesn’t like she wants to wear teenie bopper clothes. He doesn’t like that she spends time on tiktok. He doesn’t like the way her kids are raised. He acts like he is her one saving grace and the one good thing she has.

Which, okay, if you’re helping her eat better and make sure she’s taking her medications on time, that’s good! Don’t brag about it like he does. 

And who tf cares if she dressed like she’s 14 or 15? The dude told me she’s got out of an abusive relationship where she obviously couldn’t enjoy being herself, this includes dressing how she wants. Honestly, go girl! Where whatever you want! Don’t listen to this guy.

And tiktok? My dude, it’s the biggest app right now. And who knows? People on there might be helping her get out of whatever messed up situation she’s in with you. And if she’s just having fun doing dumb dances? Let her! She’s an adult, jfc.

He made a comment about how everyone now a days just makes up genders and sexualities. I’m not out to a lot of people about being enby -- really, only a handful of cousins and the one coworker who left for a new job -- but I deadass looked straight into this mfs eyes and said, “I’m nonbinary and my pronouns are they and them.” That shut him right up.

My biggest red flag with this guy came in the sentence of “If the world keeps going on like it is, I don’t want to live in it anymore.” Yeah.

Anyway, my GM has been informed of all of this. Not only by us, but guests have come up to him as well.

I’m not sure how long this guy will last with us, but I just kinda needed to ramble about this.

#personal #click read more for the long explaination #if not: we dont like this guy and we want him GONE #hes an ass #suicide #transphobia #homophobia #racism #misogyny