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buckyalpine · 2 days

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I'm here for some angst and fluff rn. Bucky being sad no one trusts him after his metal arm is taken off during a fight.

Bucky stared at the dark grey metal that fell to the floor with a clank, his vibranium arm no longer attached to his body with just a few pushes to his joint. The fight ended, leaving the soldier lost as he picked his arm off the floor, fingers trembling around the cold material. It felt dead in his hand, the emotional weight of it far heavier than anything else he'd ever carried.

"Did you know they could do that?" Sam asked, eyeing Bucky carefully while he locked his arm in place, readjusting it with a swing. The gold plates shifted to recalibrate, his fingers flexing while trying to silence his thoughts that begin to run a million miles a minute.

"No"

Bucky trudged down the hall, his heart sinking when he could hear the soft humming from inside his apartment, his sweet girl already waiting for him to come home. He usually felt the weight of the world life off his shoulders when you were around.

Not today.

Not when he knew what he really was.

What he had been all along.

He let out a strained breath before rummaging for his keys and opening the door, the smell of tea, sugar and vanilla wafting through the kitchen and living room. He thought about escaping as soon as he toed his boots off, locking himself in the shower and calling it an early night, of course you'd understand but his body won over what his mind was screaming.

Your face lit up as soon as you heard the door creak open, setting down the book you were reading, excited to see Bucky after he'd been gone for days for a mission. Your happiness was short lived as he padded into the living room, the strained smile on his face doing nothing to mask the pain he was feeling. You could see the turmoil in his eyes, waves of emotion crashing over him before he could surface.

"What's wrong, bub" You coo softly, opening your arms for him. Bucky kept his jacket on, avoiding melting into your hold even though he craved it more than ever.

"Do people still think I'm dangerous?" He asks quietly, shifting away from you when he feels you pressed against his arm. Something so soft and sweet as you definitely didn't have any business being near something so terrible, disgusting, murderous-

"What? No baby, why would you say that?" Your heart breaks at the tears that begin to well in his eyes, his nose and cheeks reddening as he suppresses all the emotions that desperately want to bubble over.

"I-I had no idea others would be able to remove it" He whispers, chewing his lip till he nearly draws blood, avoiding your gaze to stare at the floor instead. The fluffy rug turns blurry as tears begin to escape, his throat growing unbearably tight. "M'still a monster" His voice cracks before the first cry slips out.

Your pull him into your chest as sobs begin to wrack his body, letting him lay on you while you wrap him safely in your arms. The feeling of your affection is too much for Bucky, he doesn't deserve it but he needs it; he feels selfish as he allows you to hold him, hiding his face into the crook of your neck.

"What happened, sweet boy" You coo against his hair, running your fingers through his soft locks. He continued to sniffle between whimpers, trying to calm down, fresh waves of emotion holding him down, his metal arm gripping onto the sofa cushions.

His arm was dangerous.

He was dangerous.

"During a fight" Bucky let out a shuddered breath before continuing, shame seeping through his veins. What would you think of him if you knew the people who had healed him still didn't trust him, "We were trying to calm things down. I didn't mean to do anything-I didn't-I was holding back, we wanted to talk things over, she-"

He bit his lip again as it trembled, still feelings the spots that were pushed, sending his arm to the floor, "I didn't even know what was happening. She hit my shoulder in a few spots and my arm fell right off"

You stopped your ministrations, your heart breaking into two hearing the pain in his voice. Bucky sounded so small, like an admonished child scared to tell the truth. He curled himself up further, still flexing his fingers, almost fearful his arm would fall off again without warning. You moved your arms to hug him tighter, wishing you could take away at least half the pain his was feeling.

"I didn't know they could do that" He said with defeat, still softly sniffling while you kissed the top of his head.

"You're not a monster baby" You knew how much work Bucky had put in, how much he struggled to get a hold of his mind again, how long it took for him to learn to trust others, to trust himself.

"Then why" You knew he was desperate hearing the plead in his voice. Why. Why did others still have control over his own body. Why were others still able to do things to him without his knowledge.

Why?

"I wish they'd told you why, baby boy" You brought your hand to gently tip his chin up, making him look at you, "Perhaps they have their reasons. Regardless, your heart is pure, Bucky" Your hands moved under his jacket and tshirt, stroking his bare skin, the feel of your pure hands already soothing his aching heart.

"They don't trust me" He sighed, sitting up again as his mind swirled. You didn't let him spiral for long, straddling his lap while his arms moved on their own to wrap around your waist.

"They do, bub" you shook your head, cupping his cheeks so he'd look at you. "They took you in and healed you because you were worth healing. You deserved it. I need you to remember my sweet Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes is a good man. The opposite of dangerous, a soft, sweet boy"

"Do-do you trust me" His voice was small again, looking at you through his lashes, nervously fidgeting with the hem of the Henley you'd stolen.

"I trust you with my life, Bucky" You took his metal hand, brushing your lips against the gold ridges before kissing each of his cool finger tips. "Every single part of you. Your mind. Your body. All of it"

The mental exhaustion of the day began to take it's toll as his eyes grew heavy, cuddling into you while you rocked him in a comfortable silence. You smiled at the soft snores you heard moments later as Bucky fell asleep in your arms.

"Let's get you to bed, baby" you whispered, gently waking him and taking a quick warm shower before jumping into bed. He was right back in your arms as soon as you pulled the sheets back, the grating voices not so loud any more.

Regardless of what the world though, had you.

A pure sweet angel.

She trusted him.

That had to mean something.

It would be a long road of healing but at least his had his angel to guide him.

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jennelikejennay · 2 days

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We talk a lot about Bones's kinda xenophobic comments, but the vast majority of his teasing comments to Spock fall into one of two categories:

1. You are so emotionless!

2. I caught you having an emotion!

See, he knows Spock refusing to show emotion is a choice. It's not just because he's Vulcan—Spock is half human, but he chooses not to act human. He disagrees with that choice, but he also knows Spock is confident in it and won't change.

Type 1 is just a casual "hey, this difference exists between us!" and Spock eats it up. He LOVES being affirmed in that difference.

"I think you're the most cold-blooded man I've ever met."

"Why thank you, Doctor."

Type 2 is more actual razzing. He knows Spock doesn't want to be caught in an emotion, but he thinks it's good for him. Spock just brushes this off. He doesn't love it, but he also feels he's good at emotional repression and won't be caught out.

"You can't tell me that when you first saw Jim alive that you weren't on the verge of giving us an emotional scene that would have brought the house down."

"Merely my quite logical relief that Starfleet had not lost a highly proficient captain."

When Bones gets really mad, he says this stuff more sincerely. He's angry that Spock won't show emotion and says so. He just can't understand why Spock chooses to be like this!

Do you know why you're not afraid to die, Spock? You're more afraid of living. Each day you stay alive is just one more day you might slip and let your human half peek out. That's it, isn't it? Insecurity. Why, you wouldn't know what to do with a genuine, warm, decent feeling.

This is him genuinely upset. He's lashing out. But Spock doesn't take it hard, and Bones backs down because he realizes he's taking it too far.

"Really, Doctor?"

"I know. I'm worried about Jim, too."

None of this is "you're Vulcan and I hate Vulcans." It's, "you, personally, are frustrating me for being unfeeling when I know you could feel and are just hiding it."

Not that he never says anything xenophobic, but most of it is a more personal teasing about their differences as a wildly and openly emotional man vs a man who chooses not to feel.

Importantly, most of the time he says these things, he's smiling. In fic he's so often a grouch, but he actually smiles a lot. He's Pathos, the character who symbolizes all emotion, including the good ones.

I'm just seeing more in his character the more I watch, and the more attentively I watch.

#star trek #leonard mccoy #star trek tos

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beersangel · 3 days

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priorities ₊˚⊹♡

‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚🎧⊹♡

summary: matt gets busy with work and forgets his priorities, leaving his gf, y/n, feeling lonely and sad.

warnings: angsttttt :(

Matt Sturniolo had always been a man with ambition, his mind constantly buzzing with ideas and projects for not only his and his brothers’ channel but also his personal project. But lately, his work had consumed him entirely, leaving little room for anything else, especially his girlfriend, Y/N.

Y/N had been patient, understanding the demands of Matt's career. But as hours turned into days, and days into weeks of him barely talking to her, she found herself feeling neglected and lonely. The late nights filming, the canceled plans, the missed calls—it all added up, chipping away at the foundation of their relationship.

One evening, as Y/N sat alone in her apartment, staring at her phone, frustration boiled over into tears. She clicked on her boyfriend’s contact, the pircture of him sleeping in her arms popping up on her phone, making her sigh with tears streaming down her face, she wiped them and took a deep breath, clicking on the “call” button, a few rings later he finally picked up the phone.

"Hey," he said, his tone lacking its usual warmth.

"Matt, we need to talk," Y/N said, trying to keep her voice steady despite the whirlwind of emotions inside her.

There was a pause on the other end of the line before Matt sighed heavily. "Can it wait? I'm in the middle of something important."

Y/N felt a pang of hurt at his dismissive tone. "No, Matt, it can't wait. This is important too."

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" Matt's voice softened slightly, the term of endearment making her miss him even more but she could still sense the impatience in his tone.

"I miss you," Y/N sniffles, her voice trembling with emotion. "I miss us. It feels like you're always too busy for me, like I'm not even a priority anymore."

Another pause, longer this time. Y/N could almost hear the gears turning in Matt's mind as he searched for the right words to say.

"I'm sorry, Y/N," he said finally, his voice tinged with frustration. "I've just been swamped with filming and working on my project lately. You know how important this is to me."

Y/N felt her frustration bubbling to the surface. "I understand that, Matt, I really do. But that doesn't mean you can just ignore me whenever it's convenient for you. I need you too."

Matt let out a sigh, his tone defensive. "I'm not ignoring you, Y/N. I'm just trying to juggle everything at once. It's not easy, you know."

Y/N felt a surge of anger. "I'm not asking for much, Matt. I just want to feel like I matter to you, like you actually want to spend time with me."

The conversation escalated into a heated argument, accusations flying back and forth as they both struggled to make themselves heard over the phone. Y/N's frustration increased with each passing second, her voice rising in pitch as she tried to convey the depth of her hurt and disappointment until she just couldn't take it anymore.

“if it’s going to keep being like this matt, then I’m not sure we could keep doing this anymore” y/n finalized, her heart thudding in her chest, she couldn’t believe what she had just said, but she couldn’t hold it in anymore, she had to say it.

silence greeted her from the other line.

With a choked sob, she hung up the phone, feeling utterly defeated, her chest felt constricted, as if something was sucking all the air out of her, she felt like she already lost him.

Alone in her apartment, Y/N crumbled. The weight of her emotions pressed down on her chest, suffocating her with a sense of loss and longing. She buried her face in her hands, tears flowing freely as she allowed herself to feel the depth of her pain.

10 minutes later, there was a knock on the door, startling her out of her thoughts. She hesitated, wondering who could be there at this hour. When she peered through the peephole, her heart skipped a beat.

It was him.

Y/N's eyes widened in surprise as she opened the door, her cheeks stained with tears. Matt's expression was one of guilt and desperation as he took in her tear-streaked face.

“don’t break up with me” he almost whispered. “I’ve been such a fucking idiot please don’t leave me” he said shakily, his chest rising and falling in heavy breaths.

her eyes welled with tears as she looked up at him, not knowing what to say.

"Oh, baby.." he murmured, stepping forward and reaching out to cup her face in his hands. "I'm so so sorry." he apologized, his thumbs swiping at the tears falling from her beautiful eyes.

Y/N felt a rush of conflicting emotions, she wanted to push his hands away, to scream at him and tell him to get out but every violent thought seemed to disappear when Matt pulled her into his arms, his embrace warm and comforting. Her arms stayed at her sides, she wanted to stay angry, to make him understand the hurt he had caused, but she also craved the familiarity of his touch, the reassurance of his presence.

As Matt kissed her forehead repeatedly, whispering apologies in a shaky voice, Y/N felt her resolve crumbling. She buried her face in his chest, clinging to him as if afraid he might disappear again.

Finally, Matt led her to the couch, settling her onto his lap as he continued to shower her tear stained cheeks with gentle kisses.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N," Matt said, his voice thick with emotion. "I've been so caught up in work that I forgot what truly matters. you don’t deserve this, you don’t deserve to be treated this way, god I am so fucking stupid for hurting you like this but I promise you, from now on, you will always come first. I'll never let this happen again, please forgive me.”

Y/N felt a surge of hope as she listened to Matt's words, feeling the weight of resentment lifting from her chest. She leaned her forehead against his, her eyes closing as she softly nodded.

“can I kiss you?” he whispered gently, his fingers slowly tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear as he gazes into her eyes.

“yes” she softly spoke, her eyes flitting between his as she breathed out shakily.

Matt leaned in, barely grazing her lips with his own, feeling her gentle response as she leaned in closer, her hand finding its place on his chest as he softly pressed his lips to hers, tilting his head to deepen the kiss.

it was a kiss of reassurance and consolation, they both needed it, craved it from one another.

they softly pulled away, resting their foreheads against each other.

“I love you so fucking much and I am so fucking sorry” he apologizes again, his voice heavy with guilt.

y/n moves to rest her chin on his shoulder as her arms go around his waist, squeezing him to her.

“I love you too” she says, kissing his shoulder before burying her face into the familiar spot between his neck and collarbone, inhaling softly as he drew small patterns on her back.

In that moment, as they held each other close, she felt a sense of peace wash over her, knowing that no matter what, they would always find their way back to each other.

° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

author’s note: I looooove writing angst I love it !!!!

#matt sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo fanfic #matt sturniolo fluff #matt sturniolo imagine #matt sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x you #matt x reader #sturniolo fanfic #matthew sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo smut #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo fandom

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drvscarlett · 11 hours

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DOWN BAD

Charles Leclerc x Kpop idol!reader

Summary: When kpop meets formula 1 and its a relationship PR stunt. What happens then?

The Tortured Drivers' Department series

A/N: after a long long long while, we are so back! Congrats for charles winning his home race. Let me know what you think or if you wanna be added to the taglist.

Taglist. @tea-bobba @boiohboii @c-losur3 @haikyuen @stelena-klayley @stinkyjax @0710khj @jinimon-tr

Cause what if I was in love What if I can't have us.

Liked by Charles_Leclerc, todayis_wendy, and 790,456 others

xoxo_y/n 💍💖

user8 MOTHERRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

user4 she remembered her account again!!!

user10 can we get a smile miss maam???

user11 she is ice princess for a reason duhh user10 it wouldn't hurt for her to smile sometimes

user55 someone tell me why charles is in the likes??

user7 charles??? like king charles?? user67 dumb dumb, its charles leclerc

user90 another day, another slay from Y/N

Y/N have never been a fan of fake dating.

However, it was not an uncommon practice in the industry. If someone wants to hide their relationship, create a fake relationship to throw off the media. If someone wants to boost their popularity, fake a relationship and get the attention.

It amazes her how good people play that part of being in love when they are really not. The thought of it also disgust her because she can't even control her emotions to the people she doesn't like let alone pretend to love someone.

So this entire meeting seems ridiculous.

"Isn't there any other way to solve this situation by not doing this?"Y/N asked.

"The company doesn't want to give you a comeback until your popularity rises and this fake relationship will guarantee a boost" the manager convinces "You are the only girl in your group that has not been involved in any dating scandals"

"Isn't that supposed to be a good thing I'm not into scandals"Y/N rebutted

"Normally it is but your image is not doing well because everyone thinks you are too cold and unreachable"

Y/N slumps back at her chair, there is really no way out of this.

"C'mon Y/N, do it for the team please"the manager begged "Think about Wendy, Joy, Seulgi, and Yeri. This whole thing will do them good"

As the leader of the group, this was her main weakness. She will do anything for the betterment of the group. Its what a good leader does.

"Just make him someone nice" Y/N surrenders.

The immediate change in expression almost made Y/N retract everything she said. This was happening whether she likes it or not for there was already a plan in mind. With her verbal agreement, its set to motion.

"Don't worry, he is a very nice guy" the manager assures "It's that f1 driver, Charles Leclerc"

Y/NFansite Y/N was just spotted boarding a flight to Japan.

user4 what is she doing in japan??

user2 what is she doing alone in japan? user3 japan huhhhh

user7 safe flight y/n

user8 it might seem crazy what im about to sayyyyyy

user9 i love love her airport fashion so chic and comfy

She knew that she should have listened to the members advice to look up her "boyfriend" but of course Y/N was too stubborn. Now, she is here sticking like a sore thumb and looking like a headless chicken in the Ferrari garage.

This was the week that they are supposed to be soft-launching their relationship. She haven't even meet the guy yet, she resist the urge of rolling her eyes as cameras might be lurking.

"Love the color of your nails" the voice comes from behind.

Y/N snaps her head giving her famous resting face as she meets the grinning Charles Leclerc.

"Ferrari Red or Red Velvet?" Charles wondered.

"It can be either"she shrugs.

He sits next to her. He was a little bit taller than her even when they are sitting down. She noticed the friendship bracelets that that he wears on his wrist with red and yellow as its dominant colors.

It was the first time that she has been able to take a long look at the man, she has seen posters of him at the train station. She will admit that she kind of sees why the girls were shrieking when they looked up the photo of Charles. He certainly looks good and she bets he knows it too with that charming smile plastered on his face.

"My name is Charles, sorry that it took me so long to meet you"Charles held out his hand

"Y/N, nice to meet you"

She didn't reach out to touch his hands in return, she just wants enough distance as much as she could. After all this whole thing is just a pretend thing.

Charles didn't seem to be dismayed by the action and he smoothly covers it up by running his open hand to his hair. He continues to smile at her brightly.

"Ice princess right?"he mentions the nickname.

"How do you know that?"Y/N asked

"I googled you last night" Charles replied "Of course I have to know something about my new girlfriend."

Y/N felt her cheeks burn at the way he spoke girlfriend. It was uttered in such a teasing manner that she is beginning to understand how some people are good at making fake dating situation work.

"I didn't look you up"Y/N admits.

She was expecting to see a falter or a tinge of disappointment but the smile on Charles face only went wider. It's as if he was a kid given a his wish on Christmas day.

"Well then that's perfect" Charles clapped his hands "We have some time before free practice, I could show you around and I could talk to you about Formula 1"

Charles_LeclercUpdate Charles is spotted walking with kpop leader Y/N before FP1. They were also spotted hanging out after free practice.

User4 what????

User7 BIG DAY FOR THE KPOP X F1 GIRLIES (its me)

User8 so that's why she went to japan!!!

User9 omgggg they will be a power couple

User14 y/n pick anyone, pick anyoneeeeeeeeeeeeeee. leave my husband alone

"Sooooooo when are we meeting our new brother-in-law?"Wendy asked.

The minute that Y/N steps back to Korea, she was immediately bombarded by her members regarding her Japan trip. They were all over their groupchat and they kept sending the photos that were tweeted by fans during the weekend.

"I think he will be busy a lot"Y/N answered "You might not meet him any time soon"

The Japanese GP was quite disappointing for Charles with him landing on a P4 and missing out on a podium. Although if Y/N could argue, she overheard people talking about how Charles did extremely well especially with the one-stop strategy. Y/N mentioned it in their conversations but Charles still insist that he has to do better so he will be training a lot.

"Tell me you took pictures"Joy asked

Y/N nodded her head as she opened up her phone. Her gallery was filled with a lot of pictures during the weekend. There were also some fans of Charles that she took photos with.

They stumble upon a selfie by Charles and Y/N, they could not stop giggling.

"Unnie, you two looks so good"Yeri, the youngest cheers "Everyone keep saying how you two are the original visual"

"What if this can be your first real relationship" Seulgi encourages.

"This is just work Seulgi"Y/N reiterated "We'll fake date for a year and a half then its done"

Before the members could voice out their protest, the door rings.

"Did you guys order food or something?"Y/N asked.

The four other members shook their head communicating that there is a stranger outside the door. Y/N cautiously opens the door because she didn't want her private apartment leaked to fans.

Y/N felt a sigh of relief upon seeing the lady at the frontdesk of her building. What was highly unusual was the bouquet of red flowers of various shades and sizes that she was holding.

"Y/N, I wanted to give this to you because I think your boyfriend forgot your room number"she greeted.

Stunned silence, she wasn't aware that there was something to do for today. She normally doesn't gush but receiving flowers is something really nice. Y/N mutters a small thanks before getting the flower and getting inside.

"Ohmygod, that must be from Charles"Yeri was jumping up and down "Isn't he romantic?"

"What did he sent it for?"Joy quizzes.

Y/N picked up the card and saw a scrawl signed by Charles' name.

"I never got to thank you for being with me during the weekend. Thank you for being a wonderful addition to the garage. Its nice to see you. I'm hoping to see you maybe in Shanghai?"Y/N reads.

"You have to go!!!"Wendy pushed.

"Unnie c'mon bring us with you"

"Let me see the letter"

While the girls were busy talking, Y/N took the opportunity that they were occupied to quiz the man who sent the flowers.

Y/N: Why did you send the flowers? Charles: You don't like it :<< Y/N: Well, I love it and I appreciate that. Y/N: Should I post this on social media or something to tag you? Charles: I just want you to enjoy the flowers. I really appreciate meeting you. Charles: Have a great day cheri Y/N: Thanks Charles, you too!

Charles_Leclerc what a weekend, shanghai you have been great.

User4 what a weekend for feudrari

User5 Charles you look so good!!!!!

User10 a smiling Y/N???? WHAT IS HAPPENING

User45 am i the only one thinking how random this whole relationship is?

User7 i know like who introduced them??? User8 ngl i dont give a crap, i just think they are perfect with each other

She was easily getting a hang of this new life. She feels like as an idol, she was well-prepared with the flashing cameras and the people bombarding her wherever she goes. It was no big deal for her to stop by and meet people since everyone seems to want a picture or a sign of Charles.

"Y/N can you give this to Charles?"

"This bracelet is for you and Charles"

"Would you sign this?"

"Y/N I hope you can have a comeback soon!"

There were so many voices and people. She kept a smile on her face as she tries to navigate her way out of the crowd. There is probably an increase in the amount of people crowding her since she is now known as Charles' girlfriend besides being an idol singer.

The crowd was moving in a snail pace and she politely thanked people giving her gifts for her or even the ones that are supposed to be for Charles. She was so preoccupied that Y/N didn't notice that Charles was worriedly squeezing his way to the crowd to retrieve her.

"Excuse me, can you give her some space please"Charles tried to get a hold of her.

"I'm okay"she squeaked.

Still, Charles waded through the crowd and once within reach he interlocked his hands with her. Y/N also noticed how his other hand has been gently placed at her back in a protective manner as if he is guiding her.

There were cameras flashing and Y/N felt a cap being placed on her head. She can see the number 16 etched on the flap of the cap and Charles suddenly missing his iconic hat.

"Please don't crowd my girlfriend please" Charles begged the crowd "I don't want her harmed or you guys to be harmed so lets just calm down"

It felt like Charles has a certain pied-piper charm to his voice because people listened. The two of them made their way to the garage and Y/N didn't miss how he still kept the protective arm gesture.

"You should have used the more private gate, next time I'll teach you that so you won't be bomarded by people" Charles explained "You could have been lost in the crowd if Fred didn't tell me"

The worried look on Charles face was evident. He was looking at her if she had any bruises or scratches, he knows that there was a tendency for avid fans to accidentally leave some scratches.

"Charles, I'm okay" Y/N rested a hand on his shoulders to soothe him "This is not my first time to deal with crowds"

"I know but I don't want to create a bad experience for your grand prix, you might not want to go next time"Charles pouts.

"I can assure you that it will take more than a crowd to scare me into not going to Grand Prixs"

Y/N's remark seems to place a smile on Charles' face and she couldn't help but to smile as well. It was simply infectious for Charles to do that.

"Good because I want to keep inviting you to more Grand Prix"Charles stated.

xoxo_Y/N 🎹🎵 #solo

User1 were finally getting an Y/N solo ???? FINALLY

User2 Y/N SOLO???

User3 I spy with my little eye, thats charles!!!!

User16 CHARLES WILL BE PLAYING FOR YOUR SOLO??? User24 no wayyy!!!!

User15 were going to be blessed!!!

Todayis_wendy why are we not informed???

xoxo_Y/N he is only here for a couple of days Charles_Leclerc I promise, I'll hang out next time! Todayis_wendy get me some gp tickets in canada and were good! Charles_Leclerc that can be arranged user55 wendy here is getting the bag LOL

After a couple of grand prix, it was now time for Charles to enter her world.

Its the summer break, they made use of the time by bringing Charles to Korea. Y/N had a lot of things planned because she wanted to treat Charles with the whole korean experience but her company had other plans.

"I'm really sorry, this will be just a quick thing" Y/N apologized as they walked the halls of the recording studio.

"No worries, I don't have anything planned" Charles smiled.

"This will be just 30 minutes or so then we can go exploring again" Y/N explained.

"Hey, its okay. "Charles assures "This is your world and you know I'm really happy to see you do your thing"

Y/N felt something weird again with how Charles placed his hands on top of hers. It wasn't her nerves because she recorded multiple times so this is something else. In the back of her mind, she knows what exactly this is but she wants to deny it for a little bit longer.

"There you are Y/N, I'm sorry but your recording last week glitched" The producer noticed she wasn't alone "We might rerecord"

"Can we do a quick run?" Y/N pouted.

"It might take some time"

She helplessly looked at Charles expecting him to be disappointed. Charles has a big supportive smile on his face as if reassuring her that she could take all the time she needs.

"I'm alright being here, your studio is awesome" Charles piped in

He was immediately making his way to the piano and looking over to the other equipment in the studio. Y/N noticed that Charles has a certain crinkle in his eyes when he is in awe with things, she used to see it with the cars.

"You wanna play?" Y/N asked

Charles looked at her as if she was kidding. He looked to the producer, seeking confirmation, and the producer just gives a go signal.

"I mean, maybe I can contribute to your recording"Charles suggested.

"Gee, are you coming after my job?"Y/N joked

"Maybe I'm just trying to do this so we can spend more time together" Charles winks.

And so the re-recording started. Charles was busy playing and making suggestions, which the producer takes into account. He even made a rough draft of a new song that Y/N noticed when he stepped out to take a call.

"Your boyfriend has an ear for music"The producer admits.

"It seems so"

Y/N glanced at the musical notes and lyrics that he has written. It was something that she might have to discuss with Charles soon because these have big potential to be a part of an album.

"You two are a match-made in heaven"

The comment caught her off-guard. It was her internal crisis that she was getting used being with Charles and it reached to the point that they are still acting like they are together even without cameras on them.

Is everything still pretend?

Charles_Leclerc Red Velvet should be played at the garage tbh

Arthur_Leclerc a blast to see her perform!!!

xoxo_y/n thanks arthur! Arthur_Leclerc my bias is Yeri btw! any chance you can get me one of those yeri card? xoxo_y/n talk to her yerimiese yerimiese hi???

xoxo_y/n consider me surprised, thanks for seeing us perform

Charles_Leclerc wouldn't miss it for the world mon chou! user81 the nickname is mon chou???? user50 i want what they have

user9 the fact that charles literally took the time to surprise his gf by staying lowkey and buying tickets like a fan would, Y/N wins the jackpot!!!!

User4 what a supportive boyfriend, i wish my boyfriend is like this

User7 why is that every time Y/N smiles, charles is always there at the receiving end??

User8 i wanna go to a red velvet concert too!!!

Charles knew that this was beyond the contract but he was pretty curious after knowing that this was Red Velvet's first european tour. Y/N was always doing her best to be present in GPs and he wanted to return the favor. He had a bit of free time and he did a little snooping.

"Let me ask you why did you call me here again?"Arthur asked.

"I need you to go on your laptop and get tickets"Charles repeated.

"Tickets for what?"

"Red Velvet tour in Paris"Joris answered.

He really brought the whole battalion to secure the concert tickets. From what he researched, it was quite chaotic once the ticket starts so he enlisted everyone within the vicinity. This is why Joris and Arthur are camped in his living room with their laptops on.

"You know I honestly think we shouldn't go with this big of a trouble when we can just call her and ask for tickets"Joris added

"But she will be surprised and this is too sweet of a gesture" Arthur cooed "I'm definitely down to do this"

"We have to focus on getting the tickets"Charles reminded.

They watched as the clock ticked closer to the selling time and then it was quite chaotic at the household. Charles would like to think that his fast reflexes would be a great advantage to this but it was all futile.

"What do you mean that were in line?"

"My site just crashed"

"This button is not working, what is this wifi?"

"WHY IS THIS SO STRESSFUL?"

Charles_Leclerc recharging the batteries with her.

xoxo_y/n i dont wanna leave monaco

Charles_Leclerc stay with me even longerrrrr hi_sseulgi stop stealing her!!! Charles_Leclerc sorry lolz user9 lolz, charles ur so unserious

user4 posting two photos of Y/N and one of him, he is head over heels

user7 i mean if Y/N is my girlfriend then i will do the same!

user16 i just wanna take a long walk and lie down the highway

xoxo_y/n always so proud of you Charlie!

Charles_Leclerc thank you! i couldn't ask for anyone better to support me

xoxo_y/n saranghaeeeee Charles_Leclerc love you more mon chou

user12 im not a huge fan of Y/N but she is always there to support Charles therefore i like her a lot

User5 why are they so wholesome???

User6 i just saw them walking to the paddock and how Y/N looked so proud of Charles is everything

Charles finds that Abu Dhabi is that one track he hates every season.

It serves as a bitter reminder that another season is ending and he doesn't have a championship in his belt. It was a heavy burden on his shoulder especially when everyone has dubbed him as someone who will bring back the glory days of Ferrari.

"You look exhausted"Y/N pointed out.

He was so into his thoughts that he didn't notice her arrival.

"When did you get here? I'm sorry if I wasn't able to pick you up at the front"Charles apologized.

"It's okay Charles"Y/N assured "But are you okay?You seem a bit out of it"

"Just a lot of things"Charles sighed.

Charles fiddles with his ring, a habit that Y/N observed that Charles do when he is stressed. After being together for nearly 10 months, even if its fake, Y/N was observant to pick up these characteristics.

"You could tell me anything"

Something that Charles learned that despite the whole cold atmosphere and aura Y/N has, she was a very good listener and comforting shoulder to cry on.

"It's just the championship, I wish I could have a better car and a better chance to win this thing"Charles admitted.

"You always have next year" she suggested

"Maybe but everyone is getting restless"Charles' voice felt like cracking "Next year, its a new team mate and a new car and new struggles"

"Well no one said that the road to championship would be easy"Y/N said "Things are never easy but that's what makes victory so sweet"

Y/N's hand reached to touch Charles to stop him from fidgeting his ring. There was that feeling of warmness again but this has been occurring for so long that this was not a foreign feeling anymore.

"You'll get it next year Charles"

"Thanks for believing in me Y/N"

Charles_Leclerc love spending time with you as always!

user8 the rings??? dont tell me you two are engaged???

user76 im so happy to see them be like this huhuhu

user2 i love it how open Y/N and Charles is about their relationship

user6 why is she in monaco again? doesn't she have a job or sumthing?

user7 jealous much?? user8 why does she need to work when charles can provide

It was so easy to do the whole relationship with Charles that they haven't noticed that a good year and a half has been done. Y/N knew that sooner or later the phone call will inform her that its time to call it off but she would like to pretend that its never happening.

"Charlie!"she greeted as soon as she enters the apartment "I remember we were running low on fruits so I bought some apples and oranges while I was going home"

Y/N frowns because usually Charles would come running already to ask what did she get but today there was a certain stillness. She immediately went to Charles' office and she spotted him in front of his laptop.

In her heart, she knows what's happening judging the grim look on his face.

"We need to talk" Charles broke the ice "I just got the email"

Y/N understood english but why are the words like floating in the air and not making any sense to her. She felt like she could just vomit at the moment with the amount of stress.

Everything was coming to an end.

"Hey, hey look at me Y/N" Charles held her hand "This whole thing may be over and we just need to give it a few months but we are still friends"

Friends? That was even more painful than ever. How can Y/N go from acting all domestic and being a couple to simply being reduced to a friendship. She clutches the necklace hanging around her neck as if it was the thing suffocating her.

"Do you need water?" Charles asked

"I need to go"

"Go? Where are you going?" Charles was confused.

But Y/N was already picking up her bag and things. She felt so claustrophobic being in Charles' place and having so many thoughts running in her mind. She just wants to get away.

"I just need to go for now Charles"Y/N repeated.

"Mon chou, you don't seem like in a good state to drive by yourself, let me drive you mon chou-"

"Don't call me that"Y/N snapped.

There were so many emotions in Y/N's eyes. It was filled with regrets, begging, and most of all pain. It was swimming with emotions that he was lost at what to do.

"This whole thing is about to be over so I think its best to start dropping nicknames so its easier for us to part"Y/N's response was on autopilot and Charles could only nod in agreement.

soompi Red Velvet leader Y/N and Scuderia Ferrari driver Charles Leclerc confirms break up.

user4 what???did i miss something???

user88 you have got to be kidding me!!

user7 i knew it, they were bound to end.

user9 good news, my wife is freee!!!!!

User8 we are checking, we are checking

"Charles?" Y/N's voice felt like fresh air for Charles.

He can't see her but he can feel how there was so much that has changed about her. There was this certain tone and intonation that he remembers whenever she speaks to him. Now, its just empty and void of emotions.

Its been 2 weeks since they received the termination email and they haven't been together in the same place ever since. Frankly, Charles misses her.

"Charles, are you there?"Y/N asked "I'm gonna hang up this phone if you're not going to speak because I have some stuffs to do so-"

"Don't hang up.. please"Charles interrupted "I just didn't know what to say to you"

There was a silence on both ends of the phone call but their heavy sighs acknowledges that they are still both on the line. They are both waiting for each other to say something.

"You know its snowing today" Charles started.

"The first snow?"

"Yeah and I remember that you told me that in Korea that whole tradition about when the first snow falls then you have to call someone really special"Charles remembered.

"Charles don't do this"she begs.

"Don't do what?"

"This, whatever this is. It has to stop because were about to announce to the world that were breaking up and we have to adjust back to what we used to be"Y/N said.

She was begging Charles to give her some time and space. It was for her own good because she knows that she was already in too deep with this whole fake relationship and its going to break her the minute that this whole thing finally ends.

"I like you Y/N" Charles was first to cave in "I have been thinking about this for months that I really like spending time with you and I really like you way beyond than this whole fake dating thing"

There was desperation in Charles' voice and it was not comforting for Y/N to hear it. She often hears that love is not supposed to be something that scares you, it should be your peace or tranquility.

"This is all wrong, you're only saying that because we spend too much time together"Y/N denies.

"Then we can start this again. Properly and real this time around" Charles insisted "We can hide away this relationship from the media, we can do secret studio session, we can just have private vacations here in Monaco"

Everything was too good for Y/N to be real. She was scared that she might wake up and this is all a dream for her.

"I like you Charles but I think I needed time to process this whole thing"Y/N answered "We have to think this through because I think were transitioning from everything way too fast. We're acting and now we're turning this to something real."

And there was silence, she knows that she messed up by being too open and too direct about what she's feeling.

"You're scared?" Charles asked

"Yeah"

"Okay then I'll wait for you until you're no longer scared"

Y/N felt like she could cry with how Charles replies. It was somehow very comforting to hear that he wouldn't run away and that he would be here.

"And when you feel like you are no longer scared and afraid then I'll be here" Charles assures.

CharlesY/NUpdates is Y/N and Charles back together?? We spotted a new girl in his vlogs and it looks like Y/N. The photo from the left is a screenshot from Charles' new vlog while the one on the right is a photo of Y/N in her IG a few weeks ago.

User4 ohmygod!!! I KNEW IT!!!

User7 anyone thinks that the timeline isn't adding up because Y/N hasn't left korea

User8 we don't know if she's been riding private jet planes

User91 no, that's not Y/N. Look at her nose

User20 and the skintone User4 but they look eerily similar

Its been 8 months since they "broke up" and true to their words they haven't been contacting each other. They really took the words taking time to navigate what they are feeling so that they can work things out properly this time.

Y/N is currently doing some songwriting when the members barged in her room. They were giggling and excited that it made Y/N confused if she missed any new memes.

"Okay what is going on"Y/N asked, putting down her pen.

"Oh c'mon unnie, why are you still hiding from us?"Yeri giggled

"Yeah, did we really have to know things from the internet" Wendy agreed.

This only confuses her even more and the members seem to realize that Y/N truly didn't know anything.

"Unnie be real with us? Is this you" Joy asked.

Scrolling past the different set of photo of Charles and mystery girl, Y/N felt her heart drop.

"I haven't talked to Charles ever since.."Y/N admitted.

There were so many questions in her head if this is one of those fake ones or is this a true relationship. Truthfully, she didn't want to know the answer because it will only pain her more.

"What are you going to do about this Y/N? I thought you two are working things out to be real"

"I don't know.."

There was something broken about Y/N that she can't feel anything.

WagF1 look at the new gf of Charles Leclerc and his past gf, does charles get deja vu?

user6 charles i cannot defend you with this

User7 its called, he has a type!!!

User88 i miss Y/N and charles

User9 can you all get over the old ones, they have new lives already

CharlesY/NUpdates Charles and Y/N at the same event tonight! After a year of their break up!

User6 anyone wanna bet with me that there will be chaos

User8 nah Alex and Y/N are too sweet to be involved in a fight User10 oh to be a fly in that room

User1 did they know about this or are they as surprised as each other?

User2 i mean if my ex shows up looking like that, i would have started packing my bags

User3 but alex is also too beautiful!!! User72 alex looks like Y/N

User84 i just miss Y/N at the paddock :((

If Y/N has been informed that Charles would be in attendance then she would have called in sick or skipped her flight. It was a punch in the gut to see him but she felt like someone twisted the knife when she saw the company he was with.

Alex, a beautiful name for a beautiful girl.

They were a few tables away from Y/N's table but to her luck she has the perfect view of the couple. She have to thank the years of media training that she underwent during her debut days that prevents her from showing any emotions she is feeling at the moment.

"Y/N do you want to switch seats?" Seulgi asked

"I'm okay, I don't wanna make anymore trouble"

She watches how Alex whispers to Charles and how he nods in attentiveness. It was the same way that Charles used to talk to Y/N when she was fake dating him.

How is this not confusing for Charles? This was the question that bothers Y/N.

"I need to go and powder my nose a quick second" Y/N bids the table.

The members look at their leader with a worried expression but they let her off. Y/N went outside of the hall and out of the view of the cameras. She was suffocating in that room.

The door creaks open again and she fears that oh so familiar footsteps.

"YN"

"Charles"she greeted without stopping with her stride.

"I need a second with you"Charles was catching up.

"I don't have a second for you"

"C'mon Y/N hear me ou-"

Charles grabbed Y/N's wrist and she made a mistake of facing him. Everything just comes flooding in her memory and she hates herself so much that none of these feelings have any semblance of hatred towards the man.

"Give me a chance to explain myself. I know this is all so confusing for you and I know that I hurt you but I didn't mean to do that to you"Charles explained.

Another mistake that Y/N did was she looked him straight to the eye. It was a recipe for disaster as months of trying to heal suddenly went down the drain.

"I love you. I really do. And I waited for you and then Alex entered and then I liked her a lot and I know this is not an explanation that you need but you deserve to hear this and-"

The whole thing was passing on deaf ears because Y/N already confirmed what she was feeling ever since the first sentence. She was ready to settle this out even if it hurts her.

"Loved Charles. You loved me"Y/N points out "Past tense"

"What? What do you mean?"

"You love Alex now right so you only loved me" Y/N restates.

Charles was at a lost for words.

"You shouldn't feel guilty, I can see it in your eyes that you truly love Alex." Y/N explains "I'm happy that its something real and sure"

Real and sure, its something that she cannot give but she is happy someone else can give that to Charles.

"But what about you?"Charles asked

"My feelings, I'll get over it."Y/N knows that she has to.

They stand there with a more comfortable silence.

"Does that mean were okay? No more hard feelings?"Charles wondered

"of course charlie"she musters a smile.

"Great" Charles awkwardly runs a hand down his hair

"You should get back to the hall, I'm sure Alex would be wondering where you went"Y/N suggested.

"What about you?"

"I'll follow soon, I just need to go to the bathroom"

"Okay Y/N, I'll see you inside later" Charles replied.

The fading footsteps of Charles allowed Y/N to let out a heavy sigh. She briskly walked to the bathroom and in the far end of the stall, she locks herself. It was the only moment that she allowed herself to be true to whatever it is she feeling.

She did everything good but why does she feel like crying now.

#charles leclerc x reader #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #the tortured drivers department #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc fluff #charles leclerc angst

137 notes · View notes

luvvixu · 10 hours

Text

mind over matter

synopsis: witness how your marriage was bound to fall apart with you on the front seat and your husband gojo had missed the show—now, he gotta figure out the story on his own.

tags: arrange marriage au, husband!gojo, mean!gojo, mention of blood, miscarriage, strong languages, some unsettling scenarios, emotional trauma, read at your own risk

a/n: y'all, im back after ghosting this page for way too lonh cuz im on my process of taking psychology. yep! this random bitch is up for being a psychologist despite her mental health place amidst the fluctuating status. and you know what's crazy? my sanity is slowly decomposing! all thanks to that one mf and one chapter in which im not going to name about (gege and jjk chapter 261)

it all started when he started caring for you.

after being inside an arranged marriage for like five years, satoru was confident with himself that he doesn't need a wife to console his woes as he is perfectly capable all by himself.

to say the least, the start of your marriage was a definition of an absolute disaster. clearly, you and satoru were like a magnet in the same pole, it can never collide despite how many efforts you push on both magnets.

from fights, misunderstanding, up to almost divorce after you caught him kissing another girl when you decided to give him a visit during his mission.

you were hurt, yes. but you would always tell yourself that neither of you want this marriage, so being hurt when there's no even love is called invalid. yet, you can't still help it but to feel somewhat jealous because he was supposed to be your husband—but oh well.

your family begged you to stay as it was for the peace of mind and safety of your clan. you snorted sarcastically as you wondered if they ever cared for your personal peace of mind and safety also.

nevertheless, you still stay inside this loveless marriage and maintain the gojo surname. you forgive him even though he's not explaining himself nor asking for your forgiveness.

as for satoru, he's aware that he's being a dick to you. his reason is that this marriage was his least priority as it was a hindrance for him. so basically and truth may hurt, he thinks you're only a hindrance and a distraction from the higher ups.

there were times where he would bury himself with work so he doesn't have to go to his original home and breathe the same air as you.

there were also times where he spent almost two months without seeing you or even communicating with you. it was like you didn't exist in his life nor he doesn't have a wife!

although, he is not that cruel to the point that he would slam the fact in your face. no, he's just leaving his presence until you feel it yourself that he doesn't want you.

his shenanigans would continue for almost a year until that night occurred.

that night when it was your wedding anniversary and he came home very late after fighting some annoying curse. he took a swearing underneath his breath when the stinky smell of curse blood hit his nose.

scrunching up as he was about to proceed to his own room (despite being married, you two sleep in a separate room) to clean up when he saw you up by the garden. you are currently watching how your little seedlings grow into beautiful flowers swaying along the air with a calm look on your face.

your husband broke the silence by asking you what are you doing this late. in which you replied that you couldn't sleep as you slowly looked at him.

satoru watched your face, it did not even flinch with any kind of emotion—nothing, just nothing. you're basically acting like a robot to him, and he hates it.

"i'll prepare a warm bath for you." you mumbled, standing on your feet and was about to leave when he grabbed your arm.

"i heard what happened earlier." satoru said slowly, as if he's being careful on his words which was very out of character for him.

"really? great." detaching from his hold, you left him no chance and instantly left.

"y/n." the man followed you until both of you reached the bathroom. you paid him no attention and just did the usual things you do, prepare him a bath.

"talk to me, please." his tone becomes soft, pleading. turning the water on, you refused to turn around, you refused to make physical contact with him, you refused to let him see the tears brimming in your eyes.

"go on. say what you want to say. i'm listening." you mentally curse yourself for almost stuttering. satoru looked at you, eyes finally unveiling an emotion. he aches to hold you for some reason but to think that he doesn't want to upset you even further, he stops. all he can do is watch you serve him.

"do you want to keep it?" he asked quietly, his ocean blue eyes dropping on your stomach. getting uncomfortable, you tried to hide it.

splash, splash, splash, you did not answer him.

"i said, do you want to keep it?" satoru asked once again. this time, his voice was a bit louder than before.

"i don't know. do you want to?" you asked him back the question, quietly.

your husband went quiet. having a child is not part of your plan but you have to because that's your purpose of marrying him, to bear an heir. now, satoru was asking you nicely if you want to keep it when in the first place, it should happen this way.

"how many months?"

"two."

"and you didn't tell me?"

"do you want to know?"

"of course i want to know. that's literally my child in there." he pointed to your belly with a slight frustration on his face.

you did not say anything back, just continuing your duties as his wife—wife on papers. satoru was growing upset, tired, even angry at you. where was the talkative and fierce look that you have? where's the harshness in your voice? why do you look so vulnerable now?

"you can take a bath now. i'll be downstairs to prepare you dinner."

"y/n, wait—"

*slam*

before satoru could even stop you, you already left, leaving him in all silence. the husband heaves a deep sigh within him as he recollects the events prior to this day. he remembers how he acted when he discovered to ijichi that you went to the hospital and went back home with a pregnancy result in your pocket.

satoru remembers almost getting killed by the special curse when the news caught him totally off guard. you two only have intercourse when both are drunk after coming home from shoko's birthday and that's it. you also told him that you were on pills so he's relieved. but how?

what if—

no, no, no. you wouldn't. you wouldn't do that to him. you are his little loyal wife and even though both of you aren't on good terms, he trusted your loyalty…or was he? were you?

everything was so messed up that he couldn't think of anything even after taking a shower and now he's on his way downstairs to eat dinner. once he was in the kitchen, he saw you almost absentmindedly cutting the vegetables.

satoru took a seat, quietly. he was watching you as your back was facing him. his six eyes weren't dumb to notice how much weight you are slowly losing. unconsciously, satoru was clutching his fists tightly.

"i bought you your favorite milk tea. it's in the fridge, you can drink it later." your voice seemingly dropped him from his daze. satoru looked at you once more, only to find out that you're still not facing him back.

"o…okay, thanks."

minutes later, you place a plate of curry in front of him. satoru noticed that there's only one plate on the table, which was his.

"where's your meal?"

"i already ate." oh right, it was literally midnight now. you should be asleep by now, yet here you are, serving your husband. also, why does it seem like satoru was hoping to eat dinner with you? it is unusual, to be honest.

for your five years of marriage, you two would only eat together for formal matters. but with a simple domestic setting like this, there's no way a peace would occur if the two of you shared a table and a meal.

while he is eating, satoru watches you grab the said milk tea from the fridge and place it in front of him. "just leave the dishes on the sink. i'll wash them later." and with that, you left the dining room.

the food was great, it was very delicious. satoru can't deny that you're great at cooking, and you really have a specialty when it comes to curry like this. but why does this meal taste bitter? perhaps, was it because of the taste of his conscience? he doesn't know.

the six eyes ate in silence. he was planning to talk to you later about everything. but anyway, satoru has been eyeing the milk tea you bought for him. now this wasn't unusual. everytime you would go out, you would always buy him some of his favorites, mostly food.

like there's a time where you bought him his favorite mochi, crepe cakes, churros, ice creams—basically every dessert or food stalls you happened to pass by. it warms his heart, though. there's also a time where he anticipated what kind of sweet delicacy you would give him next.

anyway, satoru finished eating his meal. he was drinking the milk tea you gave to him while searching for you. he saw you sitting on the same spot when he first saw you this evening, by the patio of your garden. silently, satoru took a seat beside you with a mindful distance between you two.

"can we talk?" he started. in which you reply with a soft hum. satoru finds himself gulping, he sets aside his drink first before mimicking your posture—wrapping his arms on his folded legs.

"so um, since there's a baby now…i'd like to discuss this matter with you, properly. i was thinking about…moving you in one of the jujustu high's dorms." satoru nibbles the straw of the sugary drink, absentmindedly.

"it's for safety measures, since i'm not always at home and the risk will be doubled by now. but if you're inside the campus, a lot of sorcerers would be able to protect you." he added.

"okay." you did not even question him or even argue with him, you just simply agree without a second thought.

the man could feel himself gulping, the bitterness increasing despite the sweet liquid he was drinking. he's starting to get uncomfortable the way you are currently acting.

also, come to think of it, you agreed to temporarily live in jujustu high—does that mean you are keeping the baby? satoru couldn't help but to finally ask you.

"d…does that mean—"

"the baby has nothing to do with us. i'm not that cruel to take its life." before satoru could beat you, you already beat him.

"when will i be moving out?"

satoru gulped the growing rare anxiousness down to his throat. "probably next week. give me some time to deliver this news to the higher ups." you just mumbled an okay as your response.

"y/n, are you really sure about this?" the man couldn't really pinpoint your decision. although you made it explicit, he still couldn't comprehend you.

"i'm okay with anything. it's just you who didn't. also, if you are planning to ask me about keeping the child once again, go ask yourself instead. your decision is my decision." you replied.

satoru made a mental note that your voice sounds more tired than before. it kinda ignited something that he was not used to feeling before as literally a man-god himself who's full of pride.

"i'll be resting now. have a good night." he did not stop you, in fact, he thinks it's for the better. satoru could only follow you by his gaze as you enter your own room.

yes, your own room. the two of you did not share the same room. you two couldn't even bear to eat together, what more on sleeping together. this is not what satoru meant when he asked you to talk. but oh well, guess he should also call this a night. with that, satoru retreated to his own room and slept.

fast forward, you moved to jujutsu high and started teaching as a history teacher in a world full of related curses(suggested by satoru) since you're an alumni at this school like your husband. you like that idea too since it's a great way to distract yourself from everything.

currently, you are watching your third year students train themselves along with the second years and the first years. it was quite a good sight since all of them have a nice and strong potential as a sorcerer.

suddenly, one of your husband's students came to you with a big smile on his face. that must be yuuji, the vessel for the infamous king of curses. you always adored him, he's a good kid. but you couldn't help but to be saddened by the fact that he was literally carrying a big burden over his life.

"y/n sensei, good afternoon!" he waved at you before taking a seat nearby you. behind him, you saw his two other friends—your husband's students too.

"oi, you're being too loud." megumi scolded his friend. he was worried that yuuji's loudness was too much for your situation, your pregnancy.

"it's fine, megumi." you just chuckled. "i have some extra chocolate bars here, you three can have it." the trio thanked you happily, while you just smiled in return.

"by the way, we have a question for you, y/n sensei." yuuji said, munching on the chocolate. you asked him to shoot the question but he suddenly hesitated, looking at his two friends for support.

when he received the support he needed, he took a deep breath. "y/n sensei, we were wondering about your husband a-and…" yuuji trailed off. you already know what he meant, so you didn't wait for him any further.

"oh, i suppose you are curious because you haven't seen my husband even though i technically lived here?" the smile still lingers on your face as you watch them nod their heads.

there's something that you forgot to mention to them, they don't know that their teacher is your husband and the father of your child. you were prepared for a situation like this, though.

megumi on the other hand, could've known this beforehand since satoru took care of him during his childhood. then your marriage came through and your husband was already taking care of megumi, but it was kept a secret to everyone—including him.

stroking your six months belly, a recent hobby of yours when you want to seek some comfort. "he was a busy man. most of his job requires being out of town. but he never fails to shower me with love by making sure that we still communicate despite his busy schedule."

"lately, we've barely talked. yet, he promised me that he will finish all of his jobs and tasks before going home to me. probably that's when our child is about to be born." you sigh just to justify this facade.

the students seem to believe your story. although you're quite worried that they might tell this to gojo and your cover will be blown. you planned to talk about this to him, anyway.

"that must've been hard, y/n sensei." nobara mumbles out of sympathy. she was worried for you and your child due to the absence of your husband.

if only they knew that your experience was much harder.

"you could always come to us, y/n sensei. we will not hesitate to help you and your child." beaming brightly as the other two agreed, you really adore yuuji. the amount of softness he gave to you is something that your future child would like to possess.

"thank you, you three. now, you all better go back to training. i will be heading to shoko since i promised to visit her." watching as the three wave their good-byes to you, you couldn't help but to feel an urge to protect them at all cost. probably due to your maternal instinct but whatever, you just hoped they would stay safe.

another fast forward, you are on your way towards shoko's office to spend your free time. knocking softly on her wooden door, shoko opens the door with a smile on her face.

"how's my little mama doing?" she engulfed you with a hug, which you returned warmly.

"good. the morning sickness did not attack me today, thank goodness." you said as you took a seat on her sofa.

shoko also commented that she was happy too. as mentioned before, stroking your six month old baby bump is a must on a daily basis. you are now used with a thought and feeling of a growing child inside you.

"and how're you and dickhead gojo?" shoko changes the topic.

"we were just fine like i have said before."

your friend heave the deepest sigh you've ever known. "just fine? y/n, do you want me to say the like i have said before too?"

"sho, ever since we knew that we're having a baby, we really tried our best to be compatible with each other. but we just couldn't." it's true, on the exact tomorrow of that eventful night wherein gojo discovers your pregnancy, he tried to make it up to you by lessening the sparkling arguments, making sure you are well feeded, and even showering you with things your eyes would have landed on.

you are delighted, of course. even though he absolutely fails his duty as your husband, at least he's trying his best to be a good father for your child. you appreciate him for that and also start to open your heart and pour a little more trust to him.

however, you are not dumb to notice the faint smell of a female's perfume and lipstick stain on his neck whenever he's with you. your heart slowly closes once again and your little more trust shatters.

once you saw yourself crying silently—feeling betrayed and angry for yourself on trusting him shortly after that. guess old habits never die, you are crying about something you've already expected. self-blaming is an understatement for letting your guard absolutely down.

gojo's still a jerk even though you had his baby. i should've expected this. having a baby doesn't mean he's going to change for me.

"we both tried, sho—we both tried. but we just couldn't." your voice dropped its tone once more. you still felt bitter even if it happened way back like two months ago.

"or he just couldn't." she snorted sarcastically.

you both knew she's right, gojo just couldn't. for years of being married, you unfortunately learned how to love a man like him who doesn't even give a one shit about you. tragic. very fucking tragic. if only you could see yourself directly, you would laugh at her nonstop.

"maybe this marriage is meant to be loveless—"

*slam!*

"yo shoko, i need—oh…" the door suddenly bursts open as it reveals your hot issue for today and probably for the rest, your husband gojo. you could tell that he was also surprised (but he shouldn't be) to see you here in shoko's infirmary.

"learn to fucking knock, gojo." shoko hissed at the white haired male.

"oh sorry. am i interrupting something?" he asked, looking at everything but you. he refused to spare you even a small glance, which you kinda do the same.

"you're not. now what do you need?" shoko was the one who answered him.

before gojo could even open his mouth , you already excused yourself. "i'll be taking my leave now. thanks for the check up, shoko." and then you left, leaving shoko and gojo with an awkward silence.

"aren't you going to talk about your business or maybe you want me to kick you out?" shoko sarcastically made a comment.

"right…" satoru cleared up his throat. for some reason, he doesn't know why he's suddenly getting iffy.

"ho…how's the child doing?"

"you have to be fucking kidding me." shoko groaned loudly. somehow, she expected this, but she couldn't believe that she would actually encounter this.

"y/n was just right there moments ago and you didn't even bother to ask her that yourself?!" the doctor could feel herself getting really annoyed. the truth may hurt but she's getting annoyed by the two of you.

fight here, ignore there—ignore there, fight here.

"bet she told you that we're not on good terms even though we really tried to work it out. yet, you're seemingly acting clueless." satoru snorted sarcastically. he's not dumb that you're telling stories to your friend, shoko.

the doctor rolled her eyes. she was this close from smashing his old friend's face to the wall to wake him up and stop being an idiot. "every fucking time, gojo. but that should not be an excuse to not talk to her. you two are still married for god's sake, and now, there's even a child along the way. i can see how much effort y/n has put in your marriage, you must do the same."

"don't you dare to compare her efforts to mine, you know nothing." he growls.

"but i sure know how shitty you are."

something inside satoru snaps. "why are you being angry at me?! you've been like this since we got married. always defending y/n, but what about me?! i have been your friend since highschool and you just met that girl! wouldn't it be unfair to side with someone whom you just met?!"

"you're asking me that when you have six eyes and yet, you can't see how much she suffers from you?!”

“but what about me? am i not suffering too?!”

how did we get here? things are getting pretty out of hand. two friends getting fired up because of a marriage that was about to fall apart. one being inside the marriage while the other one has the eye inside the marriage.

both shoko and gojo have their own sides but it all leads back to one thing, you are involved.

“you don't know how much pressure i take just because of that fucking marriage. everyday that i woke, another constant nagging from these bastards of higher ups. i'm getting so, so tired and i just want to…”

“just want, what? end your marriage by divorcing her?”

the moment the last syllables escaped her lips, she already knew the answer.

“fucking gojo.” shoko mumbles under her breath. “if you want to fix your life, you better not act dumb.”

satoru was still caught silent. his wide eyes trailed on the floor and unable to move. shoko saw how she hit the point. sighing over herself, she motioned the door. “get out, gojo. if you're gonna rethink your life choices, do it in your home with your wife.”

and with that, without a word, satoru left her clinic feeling heavy and defeated.

along the hallway, he saw you. satoru saw you looking at him with horror in your eyes—for the first time in one month, you finally looked him in the eyes, but it's filled with fear and tears.

“y/n, i—” just like what he had done before he left shoko's clinic, you left without saying a word.

satoru felt everything become hazy, his knees were trembling, his six eyes were stinging, his lips were turning white on how hard he bites them. the man shuddered in disappointment, you must have heard everything.

his feet act on their own and chases you, holding you by the wrist. but it was torn away immediately after you forcefully snatched it back. while doing so, satoru didn't fail to notice the hot tears streaming on your pale face, in which you immediately wiped it out.

“y/n, i-it’s not what you think. i…” as much as satoru would like you to hear himself, he hasn't gotten the words. he was left stuck by his own thoughts and self-doubt that he puts himself into shame.

meanwhile, you thought you could've just walked away from the scene. but from the moment you hear shoko and satoru exchange heated words, it gets you glued to the floor and unable to move. despite her clinic being semi-soundproof, you hear everything. even if you're not there in the room physically, you seemingly know everything.

“you don't know how much pressure i take just because of that fucking marriage.”

“everyday that i woke, another constant nagging from these bastards of higher ups. i'm getting so, so tired and i just want to…”

“y/n,” satoru called your name. his tone was very far from you used to. you grow accustomed to him saying your name venomously, but now it seems like he's saying your name delicately and vulnerable…and satoru hates being vulnerable.

“i know what you're thinking. i accidentally eavesdropped but i didn't t hear everything.” you internally praise yourself for being a great actress. you thank yourself for not stuttering and not sounding so dejected.

but you lied. you're a terrible liar. you heard everything. you heard every single thing that escaped his lips during his argument inside your friend's office. and you feel like dying, his words hurt you so much more than any deadly curses.

“have you eaten already? do you want me to prepare you for a bath?” satoru couldn't understand why the heck you still care for your wife duties when your husband, him, just broke your heart not so long ago?

you're acting absolutely strange in his eyes and he hates it. he hates how you would just bury or bottle your emotions. you're creating a facade and a labyrinth where you keep it by yourself.

“y/n, it's not time for anything. let's just talk please.” you hate it how he sounds like he's begging, but satoru never begs.

“let’s go to my room. let's talk this out—”

“gojo sensei! yaga sensei was looking for y—oh…” yuuji trailed his tracks when he saw you and satoru together.

“dummy! why do you just yell like that?!” megumi bonked his friend's head for interrupting your talk.

wearing your mask again, you smiled at the duo then brushed yourself away from the scene. satoru couldn't stop you any further, you're already away from him.

either way, satoru does the same, he wore his mask just like you. smiling at his students, he let them navigate the way towards yaga and deal with all of his shits so he would have time and talk to you properly this time.

meanwhile, yuuji and megumi were dismissed after they had done their task. nudging his black haired friend, yuuji pointed out things earlier.

“hey, fushiguro. is it just me or did i just see y/n sensei…crying?” he questioned. megumi remained silent because even saw that you were crying—they’re also not dumb to notice the burst energy somewhere inside your body.

“whether she is or not, it's none of our business.” megumi replied.

“i know. but i couldn't help but to feel really worried about her. you know crying can be bad, especially when you're pregnant, that could stress her out.” yuuji surprisingly knows how pregnancy somehow works. but they both know he's right again. they're worried about you and your baby, so they both take a mental note to visit you later.

as you slam the door behind you, a silent sob escapes your lips as you slide your back behind the wooden frame. along with the sound of your cries, was also the sound of your heart breaking.

for some reason, the facade you just put up there early makes you suffocate. it burns your eyes and it makes you shudder in pain. the hyperventilating noise escapes from your lips while you clutch the handful of fabrics of your blouse.

“you don't know how much pressure i take just because of that fucking marriage.”

“everyday that i woke, another constant nagging from these bastards of higher ups. i'm getting so, so tired and i just want to…”

god, that feeling burns! his words keep on burning in your head, engraving the letters piece by piece. those words are not too cruel, it's a little far from what you had heard before. but it came out directly from your husband's mouth, the father of your baby.

maybe, you think you acted this way because of your hormones. but nonetheless, he's like blaming you for all of his misfortunes and that made you recall your past arguments with him before.

it was like a collection of puzzles coming up together, picturing a clear image; you were just a distraction, he wanted nothing to do with you, you were just a burden, he wanted to dissolve this marriage, you would never be his, he wanted to be free from you.

you put your hand on your baby bump, stroking it ever so gently. you swore to yourself that you would never let anyone harm your baby, you would never let this marriage harm your baby, you would never let satoru harm your baby, you never let yourself harm your baby. that's for sure.

because as the clock ticks, time passes. and as the time passes, more tears flow to your cheeks along with blood on your legs.

#gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x y/n #jjk satoru #satoru gojo #gojo satoru #jjk gojo #fanfic #anime #luvvixu #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk angst #angst #gojo satoru angst #satoru angst #satoru x reader

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nerdlingmerchling · 3 days

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Jesper and Dima : a Wesper Essay

I feel like we, as a Fandom, don't speak enough about that scene. Perhaps, it's because we know that Wesper is end-game and we can't see Jesper with anyone else than Wylan. Also, we might think that the purpose of that scene is only to establish Jesper as a queer character, and as a "player" who lives in the moment and has a string of anonymous hookups. HOWEVER, I'll argue that this scene has, in fact, everything to do with Wesper and reveals a lot more about Jesper as a character, about his aspirations, than we might give it credit for.

First of all, for what's supposed to be the aftermath of a "meaningless" quickie between strangers, this scene is incredibly tender. Jesper is being so earnest and gentle; in the way he speaks ; the way he kisses Dima goodbye, the way he touches his face, like he wants to imprint it in his memory. There's real emotion there ; real care, however fleeting.

But the true impact of that scene is in the way Jesper looks at Dima (props to Kit's acting there. We love you, Kit). There is so much longing in Jesper's eyes: it's plain to see, and almost painful to watch. He's probably not longing for Dima himself ; they haven't known each other long enough, but he's longing for a meaningful connection, something of lasting substance ; for companionship...for love. Jesper knows and understands that this wasn't meant to be (he says so himself). And yet, there's grief in the way he watches Dima leave. Why? BECAUSE IT'S NOT THE FIRST TIME THIS HAPPENS TO HIM.

It's not the first time Jesper has a lover walk out on him. For him, watching Dima go is exactly like waking up alone after his first night with Wylan : it's the rejection and the sudden severing of a bond that barely had time to form. I'm going to quote my friend Ras :"Jesper is having war flashbacks" and yes, that's exactly what this is. Maybe he's not specifically thinking about Wylan in that instant, but that kind of hurt and disappointment is still a familiar feeling to him.

Yes, of course, Jesper is a flirt. Yes, of course he loves sex. And there's something enjoyable, exciting, and thrilling for him when he engages in impromptu sexual encounters with strangers, but Jesper is also someone who's deeply insecure and in constant need of validation. When his lovers walk out on him, he can't help but feel unlovable: good enough for a shag, but not good enough to keep around. What he truly wants is for someone to care about him: truly, deeply, meaningfully. But it's easier for his self-esteem to jump from one hook up to the next, because at the end of the day, he can tell himself he chose this lifestyle. When Wylan reminds him of his "reputation", saying "I thought someone like you wouldn't want anything more ", Jesper doesn't contradict him, but he's still stung by those words. Jesper is a player who doesn't really want to be one. At his core, this is not him. It's just a self-defense mechanism.

I feel like his brief time with Dima was sort of a tipping point for Jesper. He had no choice but to acknowledge the longing and the need for something more.

And then there's Wylan. To be able to reconnect with a past lover was an unexpected second chance for Jesper ; a wink from Lady Luck. He wasn't going to give up so easily this time.

In other words, Jesper/Dima walked so Jesper/Wylan could run. So I'm grateful for that scene in season one, which might seem inconsequential and gratuitous at first glance, but truly isn't.

Thanks for your attention.

#marie overanalyzes stuff #wesper #jesper fahey #dima the stablehand #wylan van eck #wylan x jesper #six of crows #shadow and bone

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theaceace · 2 days

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I know that canonically (show-wise, at least) St Hilarion's worked to cover up Charles' death, and nothing was ever really done about the disappearance of Edwin and the other boys, but even so, do you think the school has a reputation for being haunted??

I'm imagining Niko following various ghost-hunter groups online, especially when the agency doesn't have many cases going on, and occasionally the boys will mirror hop over to an interesting-sounding location, and they'll even get a real case as a result

So when she tells them that one of the teams is planning to investigate St Hilarion's (either it's been closed for a while or they have special permission to go during the summer holidays), Edwin and Charles steel themselves and decide to go, in case there are other ghosts there that need help ('can't imagine a worse place to be trapped for the rest of my afterlife' says Charles, who has been to literal hell. Edwin, who spent 70 years in literal hell, agrees)

So they go, with Niko and Crystal as moral/emotional support, except when they get there they realise they've fucked up and are there on the same day/night as the ghost hunters. They could come back some other time, but what if there really are ghosts here that are suffering? No one wants to take that chance, so Crystal uses her powers to convince them that she and Niko are there for work experience, or are friends of a friend, or are here to replace one of the tech guys who called in sick

Both Charles and Edwin are tense and uncomfortable returning to the place they died - Edwin had gone there after he escaped Hell because he didn't know where else to go, but they've built themselves a home now with the agency. This isn't like before, when it was the closest place to familiar he could find. Charles, meanwhile, feels colder and colder the longer they're there - his hair is wet, there are bruises flaring and spreading, and a faint rattle in his chest that would have become pneumonia if he'd lived long enough

But they need to be sure there aren't any other lost ghosts stuck here that need their help crossing over, so they keep going

(maybe, as a consequence of a door to hell being opened in the school, there are unusual happenings, maybe there's still a place where the line between earth and hell is very thin, maybe there's some fragment of a demon left behind, and they can do something about it)

Anyway, the most important thing is that Charles, either accidentally or in a fit of pique at the whole situation, knocks something over just as one of the paranormal investigators is asking for spirits to make their presence known. In fact, this happens repeatedly - the boys move things, change things around, their presence is detected somehow with the equipment. Crystal and Niko are doing their best to distract the team and ruin as much of the footage as possible, and at least once the boys do something on purpose, maybe because someone is being a creep to the girls (and yes, they both know that Crystal and Niko are more than capable of taking care of themselves, but this way scares the asshole more and is also funnier), and then also to fuck with their readings

Anyway, it's coming to the end of the night, the problem has been identified, and whaddaya knows, of course it's in the attic where they both died. This is fine, why wouldn't it be fine. They get started, draw some (invisible, ghostly) runes and start working their magic when, of course, the paranormal investigators turn up, because this is thought to be the most 'active' area of the school, and the body of a schoolboy was found here in the 80s

Yeah, they try to contact 'any of the boys who disappeared in 1916' and Charles. It would be fine if they weren't so irritatingly loud, Edwin's trying to concentrate, and Charles is now shivering and dripping wet, but they managed to ignore the team right up until they start speculating that Charles was killed by one of the angry spirits from 1916

At which point, Charles - half visible, clearly enraged, looking very much like the half-drowned and frozen kid he was, like a proper ghost - tells them to fuck off already before they get hurt, they don't understand anything, and how dare they give a shit now when it's too late

Which is, of course, the exact moment Edwin finishes the spell, and causes some sort of a magical rebound that fritzes the cameras for a second, throws furniture around, and knocks them all flying. When the cameras start up again, they catch Edwin kneeling by Charles, holding his hand, and softly telling him that it's ok, it's over, they can go now. Charles sniffs and smiles and knocks their foreheads together and says yeah, let's get out of here, and together they fade from view

The investigators think this means gay love can pierce the veil of death and save the day that now that the truth of their story is known the ghosts have moved on, and it's all thanks to them! How beautiful, how wonderful, how affirming! Perhaps one of the boys from 1916 tried to help Charles, and when that didn't work, they both stayed to try and protect other people from these violent spirits, and now their unfinished business is finished! It's so tragic and touching story

Charles and Edwin, who are putting their tools back in the backpack, roll their eyes and smile at each other

On the way out, Charles swipes the memory cards from the cameras, Edwin inscribes a couple of sneaky runes on various pieces of equipment to fuck with it, and Crystal uses her powers to make sure they all remember a couple of details differently, so later they won't be able to agree on a bunch of stuff

The episode they were trying to make can't be released, their social media posts about the experience are full of details that don't match up, and fans are bitterly disappointed

Crystal and Niko watch the footage Charles stole with Jenny and the Night Nurse back at the agency. Jenny turns it into a drinking game. Charles does a dramatic reading of the posts with added commentary while Edwin pretends he's not laughing. They buy t-shirts of the paranormal investigators and wear them ironically. They leave anonymous comments

Just. The dead boy detectives having to work around ghost hunters, in a world where ghosts definitely, tangibly exist

#dead boy detectives #charles rowland #edwin payne #crystal palace #niko sasaki #Not exactly a writing tag

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handsoffmysquirrel · 3 days

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"Real love"

(TW: Mentions of SA and cheating)

That's what he says....

Yet it really doesn't feel like he loves her the way he says he does. Even after watching these two get married, it doesn't feel as authentic as it should.

Which is why I'm giving examples of his "love" for Persephone

Starting off with the earlier examples, all Hades feels for Persephone is lust, just straight lust.

Yet two weeks after knowing her, he claims to be in love with her.

Then there's the boundary overstepping

Even in the earlier seasons, he oversteps her boundaries. She literally told him she didn't care about the photographer, she didn't care how people perceived her by this tabloid. Yet here he goes and pulls out the guy's eye in the name of "justice". Now tell me, would you go and hurt someone who hurt someone else you're infatuated by under the name of "justice"? Probably not (I would hope not anyways 😭). What really gets me is how he did this for Persephone, but you would have never seen him do this for Minthe despite the fact that THEY WERE DATING!!

Not only does he overstep a boundary there, but during the trial he asks Persephone about Apollo, and how he assaulted her. Persephone dodges the question as she is already completely overwhelmed by the trial, but screw that Hades just has to know!!! After a guilty feeling Persephone gives him an answer, he (almost) makes the same stupid mistake again, hurting someone who hurt her under the name of "justice". You would think after talking this issue out with her the first time he would've learned his lesson but no 💀 the mummified blueberry has to have his way. (I am in no way defending Apollo in this situation but Jesus, Hades needs to fucking chill 😭).

As mentioned earlier, Hades would never do these things for Minthe. He would have never gone and killed someone for Minthe. For someone who's his supposed girlfriend, he really does not give two shits about her. Speaking of which...

He has cheated on Minthe multiple times with Persephone with all the flirting behind her back when they were still together. All for someone he JUST MET a little after he was supposed to propose to Minthe. He was going to make Minthe his wife and drops it all for someone he just met. I'm aware he was settling when dating Minthe, but dude, dropping a huge commitment in the name of "love at first sight" is so messy. It makes you think if he really even loves the women he's dated the way he says he does 🤦🏽‍♀️.

Hades is a selfish, sloppy, perverted man when it comes to Persephone. His "love" for her is all just lust and infatuation. He fell for her so fast, and he never stopped to think if he really loves her the way he says he does. It truly shows how messy their relationship is, and how messy he is of a lover to her.

Also PSA, falling in love fast is not a bad thing, just really think about it first, get in touch with your emotions before pulling a Hades. ✌🏽

#anti lore olympus #lo critical #lo criticism #anti lo #lore olympus critical

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blushstarot · 1 day

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PICK A CARD: how does your favorite character feel about you?

Anon request ^^ // what if you met your favorite character (or the first one you think of)? what will be their impression of you?

Pick whichever picture you feel more attracted to and skip to that pile.

Pile 1

ace of swords, the tower, six of pentacles.

They think that you're someone who is connected to them on an intellectual level, or at least that you have a similar mindset. They think really highly of you! They see you as this person who has faced difficulties but still manages to still be kind enough to help others when they need it. They may even see you as someone with great knowledge and wisdom, someone that is determined, assertive, has a sense of justice, and is always thinking of new things (ideas, projects, plans). And in some way that last thing also gives them the impression that you can let yourself fall in unrealistic goals and dreams.

**As in all the PACs, just take what resonates and leave what doesn't, this is for entertainment only, so have fun with it!

Pile 2

ace of cups (reversed), nine of swords, temperance (reversed).

I see you meeting in some kind of social event, it could be a party, or a fancy dinner, either way, it's a gathering where there's alcohol involved. And I get some negative emotions on their part, not towards you, but to the gathering itself, maybe they're not a very social person, or didn't like an aspect of the event so they didn't want to be there when they met you, and that made them, see you in a negative light for a while. When you tried to make small talk you noticed that something was bothering them, and after making some small talk you realized that it was better to leave them alone and not bother them. The next day, in retrospect, they probably thought about your interaction and started worrying that they came across like an asshole, or that they were too mean with you; so most likely they started to feel anxiety on what kind of impression they left on you, which probably caused them to overthink too much, to the point of having trouble sleeping or having nightmares. Because how would they not feel bad, this really nice person came to talk to them, probably looking to be friends, and we're really polite and understanding of them, even thought they were being really dry in the conversation and answering with an angry/annoying tone. They most likely would try to talk to you if they see you again, and hope to not come off as rude again, I get the feeling that they would like to be friends and apologize for your first conversation.

**As in all the PACs, just take what resonates and leave what doesn't, this is for entertainment only, so have fun with it!

Pile 3

Six of wands (reversed), queen of wands, ace of wands.

They approached you with I'll intentions at first, I'm not sure with what in mind exactly, but nothing too serious probably, maybe they wanted to make you a joke or just wanted to take advantage of you in a please-do-this-favor-for-me kind of way. But then when they got to know you more, they saw you as this very positive/optimistic person, really outgoing, wanting to help everyone, cheerful, and mature/wise. That made them reconsider their first impression of you (someone not so smart/easy to trick), and started treating you more genuinely and caring than before. I don't really see them coming clean on their own with what were their first intentions to approach you, but if you for some reason decide to ask them about it, they would tell you the truth and pray you forgive them so they can continue being your friend.

**As in all the PACs, just take what resonates and leave what doesn't, this is for entertainment only, so have fun with it!

This took so long because I decided to procrastinate instead of finishing this reading, it's been in the draft since the same day that I uploaded the last one, so I the first pile feels a little off compared to the other two, that's probably why.

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think.

Bye byeee ✨

You can find more of my PACs on my master list, and if you have any suggestions on future PACs you want to see me do, you can send me an ask.

#pick a card #tarot reading #tarot #free tarot #pac #pick a picture #pick a pile #tarotblr #tarot community #tarot cards #tarot reader #blush'starot #favorite character

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watchingblsnowandforever · 2 days

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Hello!!!

Welcome back to my crack posts! =D

We Are ep 9 is as hilarious as it's frustrating, and I will continue to the whys below with a healthy dose of crack. <3

Warning: long post 😊😅

Ohoho, our little boy is jealous and... its not even 5 minutes in (2 minutes since the actual start). Is that a new record?

Kluen: can I just sleep beside you- 😊

Phum: No. 🙂

Poor Toey getting roped into this too 😭

(something something, Chain helping Toey get Q jealous while Phum uses Toey as a buffer for the cause of his jealousy)

Our favourite old married couple hehe (who aren't actually dating yet-)

My poor Phum 😭

Okay, as much as I don't like Kluen, I have to give it to him for being so straightforward, going as far as telling Phum that he likes Peem when he realizes that Phum might does like him too.

Also the t-shirt: We Are Volunteer.

Yes! Call him out!

We really need more call out-ers in BL.

I laughed so hard my cat looked at me weird 😭😂

Children really are the best eyy

Phum looks so betrayed oh gods 😭

The 'I know what you're doing but I'll still play along cause I like you too, ai'kwai' look. Ah, a classic from thai bl.

This reminds me of when Tinn says "How can I be your friend? I like you!" when Gun finds him after he ran away from the MV shoot.

(And Gun replies, "You think I can?")

On one hand we have Phum who bribes children with chocolates (that he just happens to have in his pocket) to lure away his crush from his rival.

On the other we have Q who simply up and runs away when his friend faux-swipes his crush's sweat simply to make him jealous.

*looks between them and shakes head* these boys are absolutely hopeless

Our favourite married couple part 2 (who are actually dating)

continued:

Pun and Mick just here playing around 😭👍🏼

Peem was right, if they were the only ones in charge of cooking, no one would get any food T~T

But... how exactly did "cut into round shapes" get converted to "cut into round glasses" to "rectangles"? 😶

Fang is so done with these idiots 😭👍🏼

In this moment, I kid you not, my brain played the "what did he sayyy" meme 😶

Phum: *bombastic side eye of death*

Yes, please. We've been waiting for this for 8 and a half episodes.

Yes, and you are the nosiest peep, now continue.

Ah, so Fang is actually the violent sibling, and him and Phum (and Tan, apparently) got into frequent fights, it seems like.

Got caught red handed 😭

Tan is so dead

Wait... so Tan and Fang had a beginning much like Phum and Peem? 👀

Rivals to lovers for both brothers it is, then.

And I feel so bad for Phum, poor guy has been a third wheel since his high school days 😭

...somehow, I think Chain and Pun will put even TanFang to shame when they actually start dating 😶

'Course you have. You just played with water with your besties the other day

And with friends like yours, Peem? It's unlikely you'll go one day without playing around with something or the other

Beer doing God's work here 😭🙏🏼

I love how Beer is both perceptive and observant of his friends, and knows just what to say to get them moving.

He wants the best for Phum and even tells him how he's happy that Peem came into his life, and Phum is a lot more lively these days. (MSP flashbacks again anyone? No? Just me?)

He might not be as playful or enthusiastic as Peem's friends, but he knows what his friends need and he'll try his hardest to make sure they have it. He's just such a good friend.

Phum telling him about the Deal™ also shows us just how much he trusts Beer.

Love him <3

Sweetie, I understand you need some space, but you don't talk to your future boyfriend possible crush like that 😭

Nothing to see here, just a goodnight kiss.

Jokes aside, I like that Peem tries to figure out what's wrong, but he doesn't push too hard. And even tries to provide some comfort to Phum.

And in these moments with just them, Phum has bursts of courage to show his affection, and show Peem how much he means to him, instead of just telling him.

I don't think this is him being emotionally constipated (he is, no doubt about it, but strangely not as much when it comes to Peem), but more of him being unsure of where he stands with Peem (as I mentioned in last week's post).

Are they just friends because their friend groups merged? Acquaintances forced to be close due to circumstances? Just creditor and debtor? Is the deal all that's holding them together?

Well, Phum needs to find the answers. (Preferably and possibly within the next episode)

*sigh* they're gonna kill me with fluff (and I'm gonna die happy)

This is my favourite scene of this ep. Just crushes cuddling each other with sleep, the rest of the evil world (Kluen) forgotten for the moment.

Ah. I love cuddles even more than kisses, not gonna lie

Also, ep 10 seems promising!

Anyways, that's all for now, see you next week! And if you made it this far, thank you so much for reading! 😊

Here, have a bubble tea and a cookie 🧋🍪

#we are the series #we are #we are series #watching bls: we are #let's talk bl #phumpeem #qtoey #tanfang #chainpun #thai bl

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prettyboypistol · 2 days

Note

Can we see some head-canons of how the mercs would react to the reader asking to join them in the shower.

Asking The Mercs to Join You in The Shower || TF2 Mercs x M!Reader 18+ MDNI

Scout

"ahahaha without me bbg?" energy every time you say you're showering. As soon as you offer to let him join you, he blushes a deep red and insists that you're weird and that he's not gay. He thinks about it though, and after about 5 minutes he goes to his room, then sneaks to the showers to ask if you were serious about your offer.

What happens: probably nothing toooooo spicy, but maybe a sloppy make out session and some heavy petting. As soon as you touch his dick he jolts back and says that's too far. You nod and apologize.

Soldier

Doesn't really understand the connotations immediately, but as soon as you offer him a blowie he's like "I AM NOT A BRIBABLE OFFICER, PRIVATE!" You assure him it's not to gain favor, it could just be a one-time thing. You just think he's very handsome and would be honored to get hot n' heavy with a superior officer.

What happens: a blowjob and you worshipping Soldier's body- maybe he gets a little rough with you, but nothing too bad since it's under the guise of a one-off hookup.

Pyro

Pyro innocently accepts and offers to wash your back in public, but as soon as you two are alone, they know your game. They push you against the wall and breathe against your neck, the mask causing a noise that envelopes your senses.

What happens: You get to see what's under the suit- well, barely- the steam obscures your vision when they unzip the pelvis zipper of their suit. Whatever is was, it felt good.

Demoman

Teases you about needing some company to shower, asking if you need help washing your back or if you just want an excuse to see him naked. When he arrives he's very pleasantly surprised to actually see you there with an intention to do more than wash his back.

What happens: probably at most a mutual handjob or a dominant Demoman giving you a reach around while you're pressed against the tile walls.

Engineer

Blushes a bright red and hides his face in his hands, waving you away and calling you crazy. He grumbles and goes to his workshop to tinker on his machines, as he usually did when he had emotions to process.

What happens: he doesn't join you initially, but comes to your room late into the night and offers to shower with you then. By the way, he built a toaster while he was busy.

Heavy

Doesn't know what to think at first when you ask, desperately wants you to mean an innuendo, but is highkey a little insecure about himself- who'd like a man in his late 40's who's got a bad case of MPB? Well, when you come onto him his bran explodes.

What Happens: Probably some kissing, maybe a little hesitant touches. Nothing too spicy but intimate enough for both of you to blush when you see each other the next day.

Medic

Very flirty, very down for the proposition. Offers to escort you to the showers himself levels of down for whatever. As soon as the waters are warm our hands are all over each other, his glasses were knocked on the floor, you are overwhelmed with pleasure and his mouth on yours.

What Happens: Probably the farthest you go with any of the mercs, straight up a great possibility that you have sex. Medic's a passionate and rather noisy lover, so everyone avoids the shower until it's obvious both of you have left- and Engie sends in his cleaning robots. Just in case.

Spy

Applauds your boldness and bravery, but there is a 50/50 chance that he declines your offer unless you're blindfolded. As much as he has a sweet affection for you, he loves his mask ever so slightly more.

What Happens: An intimate bathing routine where you're blindfolded and sat on a stool in his personal shower, you're scrubbed, massaged, and pampered with the most aromatic sensations known to man. Afterwards, you might get lucky on his bed.

Sniper

Blushes a deep red, hides his face under his hat, and mumbles about how unprofessional you're being. You two are coworkers for christ's sake! Of course he declines your offer!

What Happens: He can't get the thought of you showering out of his head. It starts messing up his shots due to distracting him so much. After the third respawn, he groans and asks you to shower with him. Nothing happens, but you both get an eyeful of each other.

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ancientgoddessofegypt · 1 day

Text

All About The Trines. Pt. 2 The Moon's Delight

So heres pt.2 , all about the moon and the placements it forms a trine with. Enjoy !

Moon trine Saturn

Expressive authority traits. Can be open and transparent if they like you. But not so good with closed off people. The thing is, a moon/saturn placement can usually be the closed off person, but the trine makes them open up easily. This is because they're able to open up with themselves more often than others. The trine makes this individual easy going on the eyes, but they can be a bit more distant close by. It's a protective thing. There really good at letting you know how they're feeling without saying too much. Their witty if you pay close attention.

Another thing about this moon placement is that, there really good with people and taking on leadership roles. There especially good with children, and helping the emotional maturity thrive. They are excellent teachers and watchers of the environment. And there good at telling you about yourself especially if you're up to know good. The mother archetype is associated with moon/saturn peeps.

Moon trine Mars

Raw personas. They have a sexual nature to them that doesn't go unnoticed. Its like eros (asteroid) trine mars so to speak. They don't mean it all the time, it's just the way their vibe is. There vibe is very powerful as far as how they move. They can start an uproar just by their presence alone. It is there emotional upbringing that makes them form a confident aura. Most people with this placement had to prove their worth a lot, so as time went on they became confident in who they are and could boast about it a little. Not to much tho. Very organic when it comes to who they are and what they want. If they desire it, they'll find a way to get it.

Could be closed off to people they first meet, they'll open up if they can sense you're one of them. If not, they'll keep you close by but at a far enough distance so you don't know who they really are. Very interesting placement.

Moon trine Jupiter

Strong appetite with getting along with the unfamiliar. Loves knowledge and can potential seek out new information when the time is right. They have alot of information stored in them and they love to share it willingly and unwillingly. This trine is a natural force when it comes to the expression of their emotions. They use it to belt out what needs to be and this potential energy can push itself forward onto others giving people the healing that they need to get through the day. A very special aura connected to this placement holder.

Moon trine Mercury

Smooth talkers. An ability to belt out information and absorb others think pieces and milking it in a way that can become their own true thoughts. They're silly, sweet, and full of loving energy. Very child like when it comes to their inner nature, and very fun to have around too.Special personas with a knack for comedic thinking. There very food at easing the mind with their words, and can make you think of something you didn't have in mind at all. Could be very good at writing stories especially children's novels.

What they should do with this power is to make a difference with their words and be more comfortable with their speech. They should be more open with the people they meet because their sweet words can be a blessing. <3

Moon trine Venus

Wow. This placement is amazing to have and I call it a lucky placement. It has its ways with others that typically a sun/venus person couldn't do simply because the moon has a mystery in its aura that added with venus makes it move without missing a beat. The moon trine venus person has a gift in charisma that is connected to a part of their soul that can't be mimicked. Why do people like them so much? It's simply within them. Theres nothing they have to do to get people to like them, they just have to will their magic and boom, people are drown to them. Theres a magnetism with this placement that's unmatched with other venusians.

Moon trine Pluto

So this placement has a lot of potential at changing the way people feel. For better or worse, their gifted in the crafting of alchemy that their minds can shift into whatever it is they partake in. There emotional state is transfixed in whatever environment they are in, and how they move through those worlds they take something, or someone right along with them. Transformative auras, as they move through life, something changes them. And with each experiences, they can thrive to be better than the next. Opening doors for the next big thing, so they can heal themselves.. and others as well.

Moon trine Neptune

Beautiful spirits, they have a natural gift at letting go. The empathic qualities shows up here like no other. They are gifted in the arts so authentically that people think they just got it over night. Sweet babies that are filled with joy, the right people makes their souls spark. Giving them a chance to be more, to be higher than ever before. They are sensitive to noise, their ears are capable of receiving codes and information from the stars, guidance from the spiritual realm etc. It's a gift and a 'curse' if you will. But they got it going with the spiritual gifts, they know just what to do with them even if they don't.

Moon trine Uranus

Captivating in a way that shocks people and makes them feel deeper. They intrigue people with the way their emotions brings others to their knees. Most don't see a moon/uranus person coming and until they do, its like watching an alien. While everyone is stuck in the 2000s, their in 3008. They picked up on the cosmos long before they got here. They're just ready to make it back on home. Anywho, the person who has this trine placement is usually unique, has a gift in electrifying the world around them, and just knows things out of 'thin air' per-say. Just knowing one, you can feel the vibration they carry is totally newer than the average human. I'm joking. Their truly unique and something about you just stands out in a way that people can't figure out, but its truly internal and comes from the inner world.

Moon trine Rahu (North node)

Power meets dungeon. Dungeon meets power. The dragon wants its way out, but will you let it? With rahu, the emotions have a tempting fire, ready to burst through the cages and run as free is it can. You have a knack in vibrating high on a cloud and bringing us to the sanctuary we see for our own divinity. Mystical in nature, you're talents are embedded in the soul and must be tamed to prime perfection.

Moon trine Ketu (South node)

Gifted ability in the community and working with others. Has a knack for playfulness and a childlike aura already adapted in them. They naturally are equipped at making people wonder. Moon trine the south node shows a need for spirituality and can probably be a detached person already. They don't need much to feel good, they're already here.

(If you're looking for sun trine moon, thats on part 1, decided not to add this one on here).

Enjoy!

#ketu trine moon #rahu trine moon #moon trine saturn #astrology theories #astrology thoughts #astrology #astrology observations #tropical astrology #sidereal astrology #astro observations #moon trine jupiter #moon trine mars #moon trine venus #moon trine mercury #all about the trine

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