#also why does my brain crave these type of things??

[luvadosar]

Random & weirdly specific SFW/NSFW Vox head-cannons because I lije him

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

SFW:

- Though he does drink coffee, he isn’t a coffee addict surprisingly, I feel like he wouldn’t drink coffee unless he absolutely thinks he has to. Also, he likes to flex his awesome coffee cup. His average cup of joe consists of probably 6-8 oz of coffee, like 10 sugar packs , & 2 oz of creamer.

- You probably realized my not so subtle hints towards Vox loving sugar, because of his eccentric demeanor and his loud self, he would obviously love sugary sweets, not as much as drinks though. Vox is like those type of people who survive off of 10 energy drinks per day rather than water, claiming it was “cool”. I wouldn’t be surprised if he started the monster can craze in 2020.

- HIS BEDROOM GUYS, his bedroom. The vast majority of his bedroom is, surprise, blue. It’s messy but in a “good” way? I don’t know how to explain it but his room is not food or clothes messy. It’s cable cord messy, like back of the tv hooked up to the gaming system messy LMAO. He doesn’t visit his room a lot; he doesn’t even call it “his room” but I am. Blue led lights everywhere, tv screens all over the walls just like his office. The man doesn’t even have a bed! I also think his room is filled with unsuccessful prototypes of his old VoxTek shit. If you’re super close to him he’d let you play with them <3

- If you want to “win his heart” I think you’re gonna wanna know a thing or two about technology. If not prepare for hours of him ranting about shit you don’t know. Because wdf

- Despite him being a bratty piss baby, he’s intelligent, he’s a fucking technology engineer, businessman, & founder of a huge company in Pentagram City for god’s sake . Just not emotionally and actually fun fact, smarter people have trouble connecting with emotions of other people, hence why he’s so manipulative and whatnot. (Smart people do stupid shit) I compare him to Elon Musk or something

- So his phone…whats on his phone?! Seriously what the fuck is on his phone. There is actually a ss of hell’s apps on one of the imps phone, I will post it here! But firstly the only apps that’ll be on his phone is VoxFlix, Sinstagram (even though he’s probably more of a stalker than a poster) Envee (TikTok), and all the other apps that come with the Vphone. He probably does not have the hell equivalent to facebook because “who the fuck uses hellbook” guys he watches porn btw.

- For a tiny small fraction of angst, though he has a relationship with reader…i dont think he’ll stop watching porn (not that he has a crippling porn addiction lmao…he watches it every now and then) unless you really get in your feelings about it. But then he’ll just think you’re totally overreacting.

NSFW

- Speaking of porn, his deep desires is to record a video of him absolutely fucking your brains out…or if youre a top…you absolutely fucking HIS brains out.

- (For my switches) First time he realized you top too, he was reluctant at first because, what would that do to his sweet repuation? If someone finds out? If someone finds him bent over the table, caught him pants down, getting penetrated by a dick (silicone or real), the risks of someone taking a pic and posting it for everyone to see especially Alas— sorry guys.

- (For my tops) BIG PISS BABY. Complains all the fucking time. About how much it hurts and wanting you to slow down for a second so he can catch his breath. Seeing him glitch at your nasty remarks. And if you’re a mean top, he fucking hates it so good but it feels so bad. Seeing him cry about the negative attention you’re sending his way, he craves nothing more than to be perceived in a positive light. Thats why he hates alastor cause he thinks he hates him so therefore he hates him back 🤷🏽‍♀️. But if you’re a nice top, get ready for needy Vox.

- Like I said he’s a power bottom if you’re a top, he just doesn’t know it yet <3

- Big sucker for praise. Wants to be called a good boy. I will admit he was shy at first about you commanding him to call himself a good boy for that sweet long awaited praise. Poor baby ;(

- “I-I’m a good…good boy..?” ^^^

- His cum is not blue guys 😔… his cum is milky, stiky like caramel, sweet like pineapple, and white like a sheet of paper.

- IT WOULD BE SO COOL IF I INCLUDE SCARY DETAILS ABOUT HIS DICK GUYS!! 👻👻 /hj

- Girth: 2.5in Length: 6-7in Tip color: #03cafc Number and placement of veins: 3 noticeable veins, two crossing diagonally from eachother and more closer to the balls, the other one is more closer to the tip Base color: #304891 Miscellaneous: slightly curved to the right (it’s barely there but if you look closely). Grower > Shower

yall i had to re upload because i came to my senses that i dont see vox topping at all like he’s too…HIM for that. 😭 im so embarrassed dont be alarmed if i say i will literally eat the nearest brick wall like a cake !

#hazbin hotel x reader #hellaverse #hazbin hotel #vox x reader #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel vox #vox headcanons #hazbin hotel headcanon #headcanon

[bbnibini]

Random Cocytus Hall Headcanons

Mornings start late. Breakfast is lunch, lunch is dinner and dinner are some random snacks in the middle of the night–small and bite-sized, especially made for one particular sorcerer who has a tendency to forget his meals once he’s deep in his research.

Solomon gained a habit of eating anything that’s put in front of him, your pen? Gone. MC? Why is the steak crunchy? Man’s literally pavloved to do this because he wouldn’t eat otherwise. (Thanks, OG!Timeline, Simeon.)

Your weekends are spent scouring for magical items that will be considered rare in the original timeline/future. An "investment" if you will.

“Would you still love me if I was a worm?” “Am I also a worm, MC?” “No????” “Can I be one too? 🥺👉👈” (He doesn’t want you to be alone)

“Pretending” to be a couple to get couple’s discounts in everything. Purposely making a scene in public for clout. (Fake proposals, wholesome pranks and polite catcalling). You both like the chaos. Responsibly (because Barbatos is watching). Sometimes, Asmo joins in too!

Every day is a marathon to outrun Solomon to the kitchen. It’s rather unfortunate that most of the time when it’s his turn to do the cooking, something goes wrong and you have to eat out. Not like he minds (a date is a date<3).

This is you everytime you try to wake Solomon in the morning. (He’s a notorious night owl and also a light sleeper, so he made some precautions to get a good rest by casting several layers of sound blocking spells that activate once his brain waves fall into a specific frequency range. And yes. You have to disarm them One.By.One. Every.Morning.) As much as you want him to sleep longer, unfortunately, RAD doesn’t have night class. :’( (What is even “night” in Devildom if it’s always dark? Don’t mind me having an existential crisis over a fictional realm lmao)

Solomon isn’t the type of person who voices out his grievances. He’s the type who endures and always tries to act “maturely”, especially in situations he considers unfair. (Please protect this man. He doesn’t know a thing about receiving compassion nor affection. It’s a very touchy subject to him; he would rather give and get nothing in return. Because that's what always happens. Kindness makes him vulnerable and being vulnerable scares him. )Why would he make his dearest apprentice worry? You are a person meant to be loved(unlike him), and he is painfully aware how he would have to share your attention with everyone else. What you might not know is how much he beats himself up over feeling “petty emotions”. Jealousy? Loneliness? A few swigs of liquid courage would make him forget, even just for the night. He is Solomon the Wise, not Solomon the Fool.

Is the type who answers you in person every time you try to text him in Decommunication:

You Hey, do we still have some bread? seen 1 hour ago

Then when you got tired waiting for him to text back he just: *Teleports behind you* “I bought some now! Did we forget anything else?”“SOLOMON I AM LITERALLY IN THE BATHROOM RIGHT NOW! HOW DID YOU GET HERE? WHY CAN’T YOU ANSWER MY TEXTS LIKE A NORMAL PERSON?!”“But…what about the bread? :( I got it for you.” "GET. OUT." "Do you need toilet pap-" "GET OUT!!!"

Contrary to Solomon’s defeatist beliefs, you crave his presence as much as he does. The little traces of him in Cocytus hall that lingers there even in his absence brings you so much comfort and reassurance. He is the first person you turn to in difficult times. “If Solomon is here, everything will be okay.” is a mantra you like muttering to yourself when you are especially troubled. Perhaps if a certain, depressed and inebriated soul would come to hear it, his own heart’s worries would finally be silenced.

WE GET IT! YOU’RE MARRIED!!  <; —----- everyone when you talk about each other

----

Happy NB Remix Release! Take this late tribute (AO3 mirror)

#oops forgot to put this as a scheduled post #obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me solomon #obey me headcanons #obey me solomon x mc #obey me solomon x reader #shall we date obey me

[astroyongie]

Why Am I This Way - Psychology Answers

Note: hey guys! This will be a little series post mainly based on psychology. In order for me to congratulate myself for finally achieving my masters in clinical psychology I have decided to create these mini posts that will contain different questions that we often ask ourselves. In these questions I will provide psychological answers in which they will hopefully bring you a sense of understanding on yourself! Enjoy!

Note 2: This first Why Am I This Way will be based on the “How Am I” Section. Other sessions will include “Why do I behave this way?”, “How Others see me”, “What's Happening” and “How can I get better?”

This section will have the following parts: “I know I shouldn't but.. can I have another piece of cake?”; “I love to be alone.. am I weird?”; “Why do I procrastinate so much’”; “ Am I really a good person?”; “ I was just joking!”, “Why does it always happen to me?”, “Why do I hate working so much?” and “Should I be more egocentric?” 

With that said, let's dive into it! 

“How Am I” Section

“I know I shouldn't but.. can I have another piece of cake?”

What happens in the unconscious brain: 

Based on Freud’s work, these type of questions that overwhelm us are usually thoughts linked with pent up guilt that is unconsciously working its way out

One thing is clear. Often, we don't realize the things that we think and we don't always understand our actions and our behaviors. When we stop to reflect on it, we are usually stuck in a sense of guilt for doing things that are against our values and morals and yet we cannot understand why we have done things that way. 

Based on the most known theories of Freud, the ID and the superego (based on ID, EGO and SUPEREGO Theory) are actually the ones that are behind these guilty feelings of  “should i do this or not, even if i know that i will regret it later”. 

ID is the mind that is first formed when we are born. It is something rigid on our unconscious, something that is based on the principle of pleasure. The ID is constantly seeking gratification and pleasure in order to smooth our anguish within one self.

The superEgo is different, it is the last thing that is formatted in the unconscious (after the Ego) and it works on the principle of the world’s rules. Basically it is a part of us that comprehends the world around us and it tries to follow the rules and the interdictions that were instructed when we were younger. 

Now this is why many of us struggles with this. Having craving desires about something, and that guilty feeling coming from the Superego because we have internalized that what we want is wrong. 

Someone that has had a harsh childhood, who has been neglected or has seen their rules being too strict will often struggle with this, because they need to have their ID smoothed but they cannot bear the guilt. 

This is what happens: ID wants to be fed with something comforting. Chocolate! so it stays in your head “let's have chocolate!” and the superego will whiplash right after “are you crazy? Having chocolate? you cant even fit in your pants and you want chocolate! you should be ashamed of yourself!”

This is basically how overthinking your worth will work, how one often develops Eating disorders for example or bad relationships with food, but this also happens with social relationships, addictions and any reward system. 

The fear of the outside world usually unleashed that overwhelming anxiety that will after turn into guilt if you give in to your ID or it turns into restrictive punishment if you follow the Superego. 

Many of us will put so much effort into controlling impulsive destructive thoughts  and behaviors in order to muffle the critics of Superego but that often results in depression, anxiety and an affinity with other psychological problems. 

So what can we do?

understand where those desires come from. If your ID is making you crave something, either food, social contact, a new dress, a new drink or anything that it is, ask yourself where this feeling comes from? Are you bored? are you sad? are you upset? Are you overly excited? understanding that process and allowing yourself not to be psychorigid is already a big improvement. find balance between rewarding yourself and being true to your rules. Also stop punishing yourself, You have done nothing wrong. You deserve to be happy and smoothed the same way you deserve to go beyond your addictions

Understand in which you fall. If you are the type to crave in in your desires it means these possibilities: Early trauma ou neglect, environmental stressors, maladaptive coping mechanism,, substance abuse, personality disorders, lack of emotional regulation skills and cultural and social influences 

If you fall in the fragil superego, if you are too strict with yourself, it means these possibilities: weak parental influence, traumatic experience, overly harsh and permissive parenting, lack of role model, cultural influence, early childhood experiences like rejection and personality disorders. 

For those who have balance between giving in desires and restraining, then congrats! You are a rather healthy being

Now that you know this, you have a start on where to work to become a better version of yourself 

#psychology #psychology facts #psychology notes #psychanalyse #self help

[appleinyoureye]

JJBA p.1 │ The Tongue of My Love Takes Many Forms

Summary: love language headcanons! what they have to offer and how to make their knees weak!

Fandom: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure

Characters: Leone Abbacchio, Bruno Bucciarati, Pannacotta Fugo

Word Count: 629

Type: headcanons

part two

Abbacchio

Giving: acts of service, gift giving

He’s a man who isn’t very affectionate on the inside, but wants to do everything and more for the one he loves. Will make you breakfast before he has to go out on a mission and leave it on your nightstand without a note. It’s too embarrassing for him (even though he has written it, but it lays on the bottom of his pocket) to show that much affection. He will also give you random gifts he’s collected on a business trip.

Receiving: words of affirmation, physical touch

Because he’s so insecure about his soft side you have to bring it out in him! Compliment Abba on every single occasion you notice, and more! Create them! Make him flustered! Trail his scars while staring in his eyes and murmuring how beautiful they are! (but be careful with PDA, cause there’s a really thin line between ahh, they’re too adorable, why are they complimenting me so much and they’re ruining my image in front of the colleagues!) 

Bruno

Giving: words of affirmation, physical touch

Bruno will make sure that you know how much you mean to him and how much he loves you. Compliments, reassuring sentences you haven’t even known you need, and soft smooches on every part of your body you’re insecure about (and if you don’t feel okay with a part of your personality/anything going on inside your brain, he’ll kiss your forehead!) 

Receiving: quality time, acts of service

Even though he has a really tight schedule, he loves it when you find time to waste with him. Because he’s so busy, Bruno adores moments when the two of you can be alone with each other; glances and words, glasses of wine (or any other drink you like!) and quiet music in the background. And if so it happens that you have prepared food for him – cooked Bucci’s favorite meal ‘cause you’ve remembered when he told you that no one can make it taste that delicious – he may think about a proposal.

Fugo

Giving: acts of service

Similar to Abba, Fugo isn’t very effusive with his feelings, but he knows how to treat you right. If you’re in a university and you have problems with a subject, he doesn’t even try to tutor you. Fugo knows how strong his anger can be when someone does something stupid, and (even though he works on it) he doesn’t want to accidentally shout at you. Instead of it Fugo creates notes for you. If you like everything color coded – he does that. If you prefer it all to be clean – the only colors you see are black and white. And if you’re learning the best from mind maps – you’ve guessed it. And if you’ve stopped your education, he does the same with the things you’ve decided to learn. Crocheting? He buys you a book, tries to learn it himself first and then writes you notes on how to do it better. Cooking? Same thing. New language? Dictionary and notes. You name it, he does it.

Receiving: quality time, acts of service

Fugo wants you to initiate spending time with him. It’s not like he can’t do it himself, it’s just… way nicer when you ask him to go out, you know?… Fugo particularly likes going on walks around the town. There’s just so much you can do! You’re hungry? There are plenty of good restaurants nearby! Thirsty? He insists on buying you coffee (or a tea). Craving ice-creams? He doesn’t like when you buy yourself the weirdest of flavors and then steal from him the most common ones, but what can he do? He’s in love. And he understands it even more when after tiring days you prepare a bath for him, and wait under covers, ready to warm him to sleep!

a/n: a few days ago i've received my first request. it's exciting! the fact that i'm sure that you like what i write and want more! i may write second part to these headcanons with the rest of bucci squad and post it tomorrow/in a few hours, cause screw sleep

#apple!writes #jjba #jojo’s bizarre adventure #jjba x reader #jjba headcanons #leone abbachio #leone abbachio x reader #abbachio x reader #bruno bucciarati x reader #bruno buccellati x reader #bruno bucciarati #pannacotta fugo #fugo x reader #jjba fugo #jojo's bizarre adventure

[snootlestheangel]

Just A Dude!Ghost Monster AU

Side note before this post gets rolling, I love that my post with the highest notes starts with "I don't know who else" and I think that's very reflective of what Tumblr is like XD

Anyways

We're doing it! We are writing a Monster AU featuring Ghost as the only human despite what everyone else thinks! As far as I am concerned, mostly gonna post it here on Tumblr, since I don't really have much right now for it, mostly just little blurbs but if needed for readability, I'll put it on AO3 (under my profile FeelzMaster)

I'm gonna go ahead and give y'all the rundown of what species are featured, kinda what this world's like, the stuffs, ya know? TW: talks of death (just how they can die, relax)

Soap

To be 100% honest, I really wanted to do the whole werewolf!Soap thing cause it's just so perfect for him, but I thought back to a post I made about him being lightning and thought HUH WHAT IF?

So, partially inspired by @tactax-art and their depiction of Soap dealing with fire 'n shit, I have made Soap a unique type of "nymph". Technically, nymph isn't the right word, but neither is elemental, and the true name of these things is so old it's real translation has kinda lost meaning so they stick to describing themselves as "nymphs" or "elementals".

He is a Lightning Nymph, which is rare but that's apparently what happens when you cross an "atmospheric" air nymph (his mum) and a less traditional water nymph (his dad). He's often seeing consuming/messing with things that have electrical charge in order to keep up his own energy (Gaz once had to watch him literally lick an exposed outlet and maintain a straight face). Every time it storms, he's outside somewhere as high as he can get so he can soak up the natural static energy that comes with storms. He can and will shock people for the fun of it.

As for abilities, he's obviously highly conductive, can manipulate electrical energy but it's pretty exhausting so it's more of a life or death thing, he can glow in the dark if he wants to, and he's hyper aware of changes (due to ~energy~). His diet is batteries... Jk, but seriously he does not eat like a human would, he straight up eats things that will help with energy. Like I said earlier, he's licked an exposed outlet like it was an espresso shot. Downside is he can't see for shit in the dark so he's reliant on sensing energies, nightvision, or having one of his buddies that can see in the dark guide him. Can be killed if his brain stem is destroyed, but is also very weakened by the typical stuff (gunshots, stab wounds, severe bodily trauama, etc). but can be severely weakened by being trapped in insulated rooms/wrapped in insulators. If exposed to these things and not able to find a sustainable source of electrical energy, he will die. (rubber, steel, copper are some good insulators)

Gaz

I don't know why but I'm gonna make him a Siren. For some reason Siren!Gaz just melts my heart and I wanna hold him. I don't care if he can lure me to my death with his voice, I wanna hear him sing :'(

He's typically pretty human appearing, it's a natural instinct for Sirens, but when he's tired or distracted (like working out/doing paperwork), you can start to see some very fish-like qualities. Mostly very gorgeous iridescent scales around his ears, eyes, neck, shoulders, knees, top of his feet, and back of his hands.

Can breathe underwater, has the best vision in the dark, eats like a typical person but with more sea food cravings or cravings for fatty foods (like human), when in full Siren form he doesn't have a "mermaid's" tail, it's much more shark-like so he can accelerate really fast. Generally just more shark-like, except his scales are fish-like. His nose, like sharks, is super sensitive to certain changes, so booping his nose always throws him off if it's surprise, but he will also bump his nose into people/things without realizing it to get a better sense of it. Can be killed by things humans can, susceptible to parasites.

Price

Honestly, his has been the hardest but I'm gonna do changeling. I honestly don't know a lot about them, and quite frankly I've already got one homebrewed monster here, so why not another?

He's definitely the one everyone mistakes for being human cause he's so good at keeping up appearances. But there are always times where Price manipulates his appearance/body just enough that it's a little startling for those that believed him to be human to suddenly realize he's very much not.

He's got better eyesight in the dark than a human, but nowhere near close to what Gaz has. He's good at picking up on scents though, as his nose is a bit more attune to sniffing out humans than anything. He's not a bloodsucker, but changelings typically feed on weakened/ill/very old/very young humans, so he's able to tell when something is wrong with someone. Stifles the more violent urges of his species by eating a primarily meat heavy diet with a lot of raw veggies for the crunch. Most susceptible to things with iron or salt (obvi) but can still be fatally wounded by stab wounds/gunshots. Most other stuff won't kill him but it'll certainly hurt and he'll complain the entire time.

Alejandro and Rudy

These two are werewolves and Los Vaqueros is their pack :'). Most Vaqueros are also werewolves, but they do have a variety of other creatures commonly found in North America.

And finally, the whole point of this: we got our boy Ghost as a literal human being. Nothing more, just a dude. A dude with so much fucked up shit happening to him constantly it's just assumed he must be inhuman. NOPE! He's just a dude, a very very unlucky, and probably cursed, dude.

So yeah, that's what I have so far! Working title is "Cheers to the Unknown"

Taglist (if you want added let me know in the replies/reblogs): @tacticaltaxonomist @cthulhusstepmom

#simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #john price #john soap mactavish x simon ghost riley #soapghost #ghostsoap #cod mw2 #call of duty #soap call of duty #ghost call of duty #gaz call of duty #price call of duty #alejandro vargas #rodolfo parra #alejandro cod #rodolfo cod #monster au #monster/cryptid cod mw2 au #soap is lightning #soap is an agent of chaos #siren!gaz #changeling!price #just a dude ghost #cheers to the unknown #cod fanfic

[mythicamagic]

May I ask why you like Sukuna so much? Don't get me wrong, I love him too, he reminds me of Yang from Piofiore, but I thought you would be more attracted to Gojo or Geto? 🤭

Thank you for the excuse to yap, anon! Talking about my biases is one of my favourite things to do.

I guess my answer can be summed up with three points:

Sukuna is hot - I like his tattoos and his true form satisfies my monster romance cravings

Sukuna is charismatic

Intelligent villains make brain go brrr.

To elaborate, when JJK first came out I did simp a bit for Gojo because of his eyes and white hair. It wasn't really anything other than shallow - hey, he's pretty.

(I've never been a Geto girlie, I respect those who are, but I haven't felt anything toward him other than sympathy for his breakdown or apathy toward him becoming a cult leader type. He's aight.)

When Sukuna was first revealed I found him entertaining but wrote him off as purely insane. Fun to watch but nothing interesting. This changed in episode 4.

That episode showed his charisma tbh. An insane villain is only fun to watch passively, that or they become annoying. A truly personable villain is one that lives comfortably by enjoying what they want to do but also demonstrating intelligence and cunning. Guys like Sukuna and Yang are my favourite type of villain because they're so incredibly selfish they seek to assuage their boredom via entertainment. They thrive in violence that isn't targeted or hateful, just pure enjoyment. Putting aside the murder part- as someone who is incredibly meek and anxious irl, those characters appeal to me because they thrive unapologetically. Their ugliness is embraced and celebrated.

From a purely simping standpoint- Someone like Nanami is the greenest flag you've ever seen. That man would take care of you and love you. 10/10 you should marry, he's perfect. However, for someone like me, that perfection would make my imperfections feel worse.

Characters like Sukuna basically remove that because they're reveling in their own fun. I think to really enjoy them is to remove your own ego from the equation in a way- because these men will not cater to you emotionally. Yang is there for pleasure, Sukuna is there for entertainment, ect.

However in this way - you can kind of find vindication through them too. Liliana grew into herself more by becoming Yangs woman. She lost her freedom but gained it in other ways by experiencing sexual liberation and the darker aspects of the world- living in it and adapting. I figure life with Sukuna would be like that too in some AU where he wouldn’t automatically kill you.

I find Sukuna the most interesting character in JJK because he's centered and intelligent even as he revels in chaotic destruction. He's well read and has a history that gives him a tangible presence. He's strong but playful, cruel but absent of hatred for his opponents in a way that feels almost respectful even as they're fighting to the death (with the exception of Itadori).

A lot of what he is ticks my boxes. I expect Scar from Wuthering Waves will also scratch my itch for this type of villain too once we know more about him.

Er so yeah...take your pick anon haha. Simple answer: Sukuna is a cool villain, and I like to watch him have fun (not excusing anything he does but I trust your media literacy enough to understand that)

Complicated answer for simping: something, something, female empowerment fantasy through being allowed to be the worst version of yourself with a villain, thus achieving liberation from societal constraints.

#sukuna #jjk #ryomen sukuna #asks #anon #yang piofiore

[cacti-are-like-flamingos]

Dating Bokuto...

So like...i was halfway done when i accidently did something and it all just got erased. best believe my heart dropped all the way to my stomach. Que rico

Hopefully my memories good enough to recall all of my points

I did say that I never got to finish Haikyuu!! so I don't know the ending. I also don't remember many of the characters well so I'll have to re-visit the show again if people start requesting

Dating Bokuto is very much like eating flan--- it's so soft, almost silky. A sweetness overload that doesn't quite overfill the stomach but neither does it leave you empty. Although it does, on numerous occasions, leave you craving for more. maybe seconds... maybe thirds... maybe even fourths! you get the idea

He's quite literally the definition of a sweet himbo (unless it involves volleyball, that and being with you is when his two brain cells finally start to work. But even the latter has it's own special circumstances)

Surprisingly, he's somehow managed to figure out the perfect between volleyball and you. Afterall, he would never want to neglect you. (But he will always neglect his school work)

He'll invite you to his practices so you can watch, he'll invite to his practice so that you can play together, or he'll happily go with you to do whatever you want. As long as he gets to spend time with you, he could care less. However, the second option he views as the ultimate option. He gets to do his favorite thing with his favorite person, how could he not love that option?

That is not to say he doesn't like going on dates with you --- he practically beams at the idea of going out with you. It's like he gets to show you off.

His favorite type of date is the sort that involves any kind of festival. He gets to eat to his hearts content all while constantly holding your hand, giving you random nuzzles and kisses in front of all to see. He most especially likes winning you a variety of plushies and items. And I'm not talking about the small ones (unless those are the ones you wnat), I'm talking big business plushies. the sort that when you hold them, you can't see shit neither to the sides or over the head.

That's why he bought you a wagon that he drags around for you. Carrying so many things can easily tire out the arms, so with this you can happily continue the date without tiring so quickly.

He also really likes eating those pretentious desserts that you see on TikTok or Instagram, the ones with a thousands cute decorations on them that make them look even more edible (Ugh, i want to try those so bad)

When I think of someone dating Bokuto, I imagine that them having a tremendous amount of patience to deal with his various mood swings. Someone studious, so that he can pass his classes,. Yet, sociable enough to make friends with all the other teams, including his own. I imagine someone who doesn't really do sports on the regular but can prove active when the situation requires it. It's either that or he'll just force you to be more active.

Ah, he's the sort to love couple-matching outfits so be prepared for that. He's constantly raiding your closet to see what kind of outfits you have so that he can match with you (especially, sweaters)

He obviously invites you to his tournaments and games, so everyone already knows who you are. Whenever he makes a score, he instantly looks to where you are to see if you saw him do that --- he'll jump around and beam when you I've him a thumbs up with a smile.

When the owl is down, the team now depends on you to get his head back in the game --- Akaashi can get him out of depresses mode but just a single praise from you gets him out instantly

Speaking about Akaashi, you're very good friends with him. So great that the two of you often times texts memes about the various member of the team. You're also study-buddies.

Bokuto's not at all jealous because he's happy that his best friend is close to his partner, although if you do start paying more attention to the phone (not akaashi related) or to anything else, he will whine like a baby. Throwing himself into your arms and putting all of his weight on you so that you can't get him off

I have a scene where the Coach lets you come with on the team's bus whenever there's an away game, and that Bokuto takes a small nap on your shoulder while you quietly listen to some chill music or talk to Akaashi in whispers as to not wake up the sleeping owl boy.

Oh! Have you guys ever seen that trend on Tiktok of the girls that like get these pool-toys to entertain their boyfriends? Like the girl throw the toy into the water and the boyfriends jump into the pool in order to retrieve them? Yeah, you do that too with him. He'll spend literal hours entertained like that until he's out of energy. By then, he'll once again throw himself onto you and just sleep away. (hopefully, you'll have thunder-thighs or you'll be numbed rather quickly)

Ah, he likes for you to be the one to style his hair. Not to say he wont do it, it's just he likes you doing it for him while he watches through the mirror. I think he likes to receive acts of service while he provides words of affirmation and a shit ton of physical affection.

You like to give him a mohawk to tease him and he'll just cutey pout before breaking out into giggles.

Very fluffy he's kind of love. You just wished he did his actual work for once.

...

(A/N): That's all I got for now.

Hope you enjoyed!

#bokuto x reader #bokuto koutaro x reader #bokuto koutarou #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #reader #reader insert #fanfic #fanfiction #romance #bokuto headcanon #haikyuu headcanon #bokuto kotaro headcanon #bokuto #bokuto kotaru

[driaswrld]

Higuruma is the type of guy to be dead set on one thing, something really gap moe about his character would be the fact that if his dingy old apartment has you in it, he would never leave it for the world. That shoddy apartment is where you've left little markings of your presence and it's where he first got to know you and promised you his life. He's antiromantic but he's also romantic in a way which is subtle and gentle he'd come home tired getting the same old ice cream you're fond of and he'd apologise to you who was sitting on the sofa waiting for him with a small peck and a little smile and a small ruffle to your hair before he would coax you back into bed with a gentle smile even when he's dead tired. Don't get him wrong, he also acts strict with you when you're being a little messy or chaotic around him but his heart still melts when he looks at you. (I might be delusional)(he's so older man coded I love older men)(that man would hug you so comfortingly and let you curl up into and against him at a specially vulnerable time)(AUGH I'm fucking choking up)(I'll see myself out)

YOURE GODSENT BCUS WAIT

gap moe is higuruma at face value you are so right i love how you're always in my brain we were probs separated at birth.

veryyy antiromantic romantic but i don't think he perceives himself as being romantic? maybe? he just does these things because wow, he loves you and loving you comes as easy as breathing to him (he doesn't understand why fleeting gazes and lingering touches are inherently romantic he just knows that it feels right when it's you) GOODBYE IM WALKING INTO TRAFFIC—

he's very analytical and particular in the way he lives his life i'm sure because he's the type to not want commitment but crave connection, and then he finds himself being a sucker for the idea of forever. all of the parts of you become parts of him and it's really funny when you come to realize he's heading to a trial smelling like your perfume and snacking on bunny shaped chocolates on his break because you eat it all the time and suddenly his bland ass organized kitchen is divided into a mess of your color coded cookware and he can't find his favorite spoon but oh wait that one you use all the time is there he can use that

i have so many thoughts about higuruma and his shoddy apartment and i WILL share them bcus u guys deserve to hear them

#☁️ — stvrtlk #🧾 — mail ! #i just think about him so much #living with him would be an experience honestly #at first it takes some breaking in sure #because he doesn't let anyone into his space #(for his own sanity) #and then it's his whole life stretching to accommodate you #but it's hardly exhausting to him and more refreshing #you prob teach him a lot about bright colored curtains i fear #jjk higuruma

[nhasablogg]

My goals for this blog in 2024

'Tis the season of overanalyzing everything about your life! So naturally I've been thinking a lot about the different spaces I occupy, such as this one, and decided I need to be a bit more intentional with how I spend my time online and offline. I'm trying not to overdo it though. Sometimes you also just have to exist.

Be transparent when I want attention. This makes it sound as if we're in a relationship LMAO, but honestly, a lot of the time I will pop in here with a random post, or a request for prompts, and it will be more a cry for attention than the actual need for prompts (although not always). Prompt + filling of prompt = validation and love and attention. But usually that won't be enough because I'm not always in the mood to write, or I'll write something short and not very good, and then I won't get the attention I was craving and I will get sad. Also not every fic will be a hit anyway. It's a fickle thing to base my emotions around. SO. Solution for this is to just tell you when I want attention, because that way I won't feel annoying and bad about myself afterward. Obviously this might not result in attention whatsoever, and also why is it your job to give it to me anyway, but that way I won't feel as desperate as much as I will at the very least feel authentic about my neediness. I am human. Sometimes I need things and have no idea who to turn to. I often turn to social media. It happens. I just want to be more honest about it next year. Maybe as a sort of therapy.

Kind of related. I want to be a bit more intentional with the fics I post. I've gotten better at leaving fics be if they're not working, rather than trying to finish every single project, but I want to let them take their time and not post fics just to post them if I'm not happy with them. That doesn't mean I can't post shorter, sillier fics I had fun working on even if they're not masterpieces. My enjoyment is just as important as the final product.

I'd also like to write more long, intricate fics, kind of like my Criminal Minds case fics. It's fun to challenge myself, as longer fanfic writing isn't my forte.

Figure out if I want prompts to mostly be open or not. I keep opening and closing them, mostly because I sometimes get in the opposite mood of wanting attention and get overwhelmed and don't want people to "demand" things from me (I know they're not demands, but you know how your brain sometimes gets). But I feel like the best prompts are the ones people will send really randomly because they suddenly got an idea. But maybe, if I stop making those "send me prompts!!!" type of posts I won't get overwhelmed by the amount of them. Does anyone have any input on this?

Stop thinking I need to do certain things to be a part of the community. I keep thinking that I should maybe interact with other people's fics more, or try to be a part of the community in ways I used to when I was younger, but the truth is that I'm not a fanfiction reader at this stage of my life, and rather than lamenting that I need to just accept it. Maybe that makes me a hypocrit, but I don't believe in forcing things like that. Maybe once I stop pressuring myself it will come naturally instead, but if not I need to just be okay with the fact that I'm mostly here for my own fics. Maybe that's selfish, but it's the truth. I have enough problems in my real life to create new ones for myself here.

Stop trying to restore the old blog. It's gone. I was the one to delete it, and with that a lot of followers who never returned, and everything I did on there. It's fun getting to give advice, but people don't turn to me for them like they did back in the day and that's okay. I'm not who I was back then. I don't have the same amount of time. Instead of trying to bring back traces of the old blog I just want to focus on what I want to do with this one, in the moment and in the future. This community has changed anyway. It's time I accept that. (this does not include my Throwback Project, which I will be doing as a way to honor the past rather than try to bring it back)

Do you have any goals? Did any of this make sense? Am I overanalyzing things TOO much? Let me know your thoughts if you have any!

#text #2024 goals

[dungeons-and-dragon-age]

OC Tag Game

got tagged again by @shivunin! <3 You're right that this is a curse to do fsdkljfls, i am indecisive af so prepare for rambling

Favorite OC: Wow starting with a mean one :( It rotates and switches between all of them, but Liam and June probably occupy the spot the most often

Newest OC: Uhh i guess Robin? They are In My Brain but i have yet to do a playthrough with them lol

Oldest OC: In general? Des xD (she was a warrior cats oc i made when i was 11 but she's still very dear to me <3). For DA, it's Neira! I played he games in order & she was my first Warden :)

Meanest OC: June for sure lol. Both in that she is very blunt and does not belive in lying for the sake of being nice, and in that she is the most likely to be actively mean on purpose. 2nd Place goes to Noya because she can also be really nasty when she wants to be.

Softest OC: Oof hard pick :') I have come to terms with the fact that i am unable to make OCs who are not softies in some way or another, and they definitely all are. But.. i wanna say Kala? Because she has a big nature vs nurture contrast, and once she has the chance to she is actually very soft, and very deliberately. In that she craves a lot of closeness with loved ones, but also in that she sees the beauty in the small things, and in being determined to spite cruelty through small kindnesses.

Most Aloof/Standoffish OC: Also Kala xD She is. Not sociable at all fsdfjk and is also not overly involved; yes she cares, but she also knows how to distance herself.

Dumbest (affectionate) OC: I wouldn't call any of them *dumb*, but at the same time, all of them are at least A Little Bit dumb <3 Liam is the most likely to have brainlag or head empty moments, June is the one who will do dumb things despite knowing better and/or not think things through, Lilian will have internal "yeah i got this :)" (she has not got this) moments the most, and so on.

Smartest OC: Tie between Ari and June! At least for the traditional definition of smart lol. Ari is very booksmart, is very good at remembering things, processing concrete information, thinking ahead and making elaborate plans. His thoughts are always 5 steps ahead and sometimes it feels like he is thinking for three people at once. As long as he has precise information to work with, he's gonna make it work.

June is the opposite, she is really bad at encyclopedia type knowledge or planning but is super good at conceptualising abstract ideas, at making connections and bending thoughts this way and that, at combining ideas and theorising. She has a good intuition for how conceptual ideas might work in practice, and a creative approach to problem solving.

Bonus shoutout to Var'renan for being the most people-smart. They're very perceptive and very good at reading people and social cues.

OC I'd Probably Be Friends With: Well, i would say i'd probably vibe with Renan or Kala or Ari, but irl i seem attract all the extroverts, so chances are i'd end up being friends with Noya or June or Adriel lmao. Ig Adriel would be the best bet though. Cos she's energetic but not overly so, she'd still be totally down to just hang out and chill; we're both chatty but awkward talkera sometimes and would probably hype each other up really well when we get exited

edit: bruh why did tumblr delete part of the post (part of the last bullet point & the tags got cut off)???? I Do Not have the energy to put in all the tags again, so if you read this, you can consider yourself tagged! If you do it please do tag me, i'd love to read more about all your OCs :3

2nd edit because. It cut off the last category again smh (not the text after this time tho??) and idk why but i am also Not gonna rewrite that again e-e

#figured this would make the most sense to do for my DA blorbos xD #didn't think kala would end up on so many of these tho haha #this was fun! even if i ended up putting more than one character in most of these oops #oc tag game #my ocs #will i tag the individual ocs? maybe later who knows

[fanfictiondreamscape]

L.O.V.E. (?)

Name:  L.O.V.E. (?)

Genre: angst, angst, angst - more so the remiscent type of angst, and some super slight romance, and super slight vent fic

Pairing: Misc. X GN!Reader

Notes: This is what happens when I feel an oncoming panic attack and need to release whatever messed up stuff my brain is gonna form whether or not I like it. 

Fair warning for this little thing here, though: this is not very story based, much rather like a random train of thought. It may also be a little unhinged, but what can one expect when dealing with something that they don’t know how to navigate well in the slightest? 

This is also semi-based around the song “LOVE” by PEGGY, emphasis on semi-based. I was hopping between songs that I thought would be able to satiate my sense of despair and partial loathing, but that song was the kicker for this piece. 

Below the cut.

(03/01)

This started out okay.  This was easy at first. I was blind to the absolute disaster this would be to my wellbeing, but... I still want it.  I still crave it.  ....Maybe. 

Click.

(03/03) 

Crying doesn’t help. I’m not externally shaking. There aren’t tears streaming down my face. But it doesn’t feel right to not let it be outward.  I can feel my heart pounding in my ears.  I can also feel their hands over my ears and eyes when that one sound got me to flinch and freak out. I can feel their fingertips pushing my hair behind my ear, and their palm on one of my cheeks with their lips oh so gingerly pressing the slightest on the other.  I can feel their breath on my neck, and their hand on my leg, brushing sweet, simple little circles right by my kneecap. I can feel their hugs, tight and warm and comfortable and nice.  I can feel their gaze linger, and the tears that were about shed all because of a cheesy little moment in a TV show. I can feel the vibrations of their voice from behind, and their grip wrapped around my upper arm and my waist.  But as much as I can feel, that fails to negate the fact that this is both the beginning and the end.  Things are never gonna be exactly the same, not unless years pass by first.  This is a whole new door, and the options are limited as to what happens next.  Plan as many dates as one can desire, but I’m not them. I don’t have control over their decisions, and I know that I have no right to be particular about what they do with their time.  So this shouldn’t sting so much.  ... It does.  Why does it sting so much?  Lack of affection from previous partners? Lack of safety? Understanding?  Is it me? Is romance that foreign of a concept?  My cynicism can only go on for so long.  I can only maintain the thought that love is something that isn’t important for so long. 

Click.

(03/07)

At least, in my book, my brain and heart shouldn’t mix. They shouldn’t combine, because if they do, something will happen that I know I’ll come to regret in the future.  I know I want this.  I know I want the fleetingly teasing touches, the gentle affection, the mutual respect, the comfort, the safe space in the form of people.  I know I want it.  I know that I find that fact hard.  I know that my heart is actively trying to shun that knowledge, and that my brain is trying to enforce it.  I never thought that I’d end up here, honestly. I thought that I’d be able to go through life with little worry in this regard. I thought that love would come, and that it would come when necessary, when some unknown force knew that it was time to push it unto me.  Is this the universe doing just that, or am I rushing it do that?

Click.

(03/12) 

I shouldn’t have done this. That door should never have opened, and I should have never even fathomed letting it materialize. Nothing good comes from pessimism, panic attacks, and persistence.  This should be good.  I know that, logically, this is good. I know that this has the potential to work.  I know that this was the stipulation. The catch-22. The deal with the metaphorical devil.  I knew that when I let this happen.  When they leave, what do I do? If they’re alone together, I can only accept that fact. That’s all there is to do.  I wish I could find the capacity to cry about this. 

Click.

(03/14) 

I’ve never been in love before this. Never really had a chance to, if I’m being honest. I‘ve always found it cheesy, and my focus was never directed towards something that “shallow”.  I’ve been questioning if it really is that shallow, now.  This whole deal has been good. Really, it has.  It’s nice, feeling like I’m appreciated as opposed to hearing it from the mouth of my mother, father, or family member. Even teachers, bosses, and coworkers can say it and it doesn’t hold as much meaning as the small actions and expressions they direct at me.  It only just now dawned on me that this is selfish.  I want to love, I want to be loved, and I want to share love.  Physical, emotional, mental - I want love to be a part of my life.  But they come first, that’s the end of this story. That’s all there is to it.  However, love is selfish by nature.  Someone wants someone else to themself, or to themselves.  They want that person or people to be there with them at all hours of the day.  They want to hold their hands, and press fluttering pecks to their pulse points.  And now, it’s in my grasp. It’s been in theirs, though, and now I feel awful for thinking about how wrong my thought process has been.  ...  I have a feeling that I need to calm down before this progresses any futher. That, or I need to up my anti-depressant prescription.  Whichever comes first, I guess.

Click. 

Slam.

Rustle. 

“I need to get some sleep.” 

- 

“Still, I’ve never been in love.

Is that something that I want?

Convince me I’m fine, 

I’m not losing my mind.

Maybe it’s just not for me. 

No! 

I don’t need L-O-V-E.

Maybe I’ll just wait and see.

I might need L-O-V-E....”

#xreader #x reader #bnhaxreader #bnha x reader #ohshcxreader #ohshc x reader #harrypotterxreader #harry potter x reader #mhaxreader #mha x reader #ouranhighschoolhostclubxreader #our high school host club x reader #sk8theinfinityxreader #sk8 the infinity x reader #sk8xreader #sk8 x reader #haikyuu!!xreader #haikyuu!! x reader #hqxreader #hq x reader #blackbutlerxreader #black butler x reader #yurionicexreader #yuri on ice x reader #yoixreader #yoi x reader #durararaxreader #durarara x reader #drrrxreader #drrr x reader

[bluiex]

i actually did give an ending to that idea some thought... and YEA def would wanna end it with mumbo marking grian too and they're all happy

but not without some angst first! (also i've been looping therefor you and i if anyone wants the vibes for this idea lol)

mostly because like, their whole thing is none of them wanted marking to be a part of their relationship, but suddenly grian's just? craving it? and scar delivered? there's a huge gap in communication going on here.

and there's some hurt on scar's front too, because when mumbo does come back, when that name pops up in the chat, grian's initial reaction is utter joy. sure, it's quickly overshadowed by anxiety when they realize the conversation they'll be forced to have, but scar knows he's always sort of been the second place alpha here.

he doesn't mind, really! when he has his wits about himself, at least. but scar smells how excited grian is at first, and he can't help the low grumble he lets out in response.

it's not like him at all, and scar doesn't love the new side of alpha instincts the marking has brought out in him. even less when mumbo arrives to grian's nest, and scar keeps a tight hold on "his" mate, growling at mumbo to keep him away.

again, it's new behavior, and he really hates it.

grian meanwhile feels like his brain is melting. the avian half is happy the rest of his flock is back, and wants him in the nest. but every time mumbo tries to get close, the omega part of him is horrified at this alpha imposing, and it's physically draining to manage.

the trio are confronted with all kinds of mixed problems: mumbo's own insecurity about his place in their group is loud and clear when, despite being grian's first choice for literal years, he gives up right away when scar is cross with him about getting close.

they thought he would at least try to fight for his place, and both grian and scar are disappointed at first.

as it turns out, mumbo had always been sort of waiting for one of them to push him out, that he wasn't good enough to be with them. to him, he was objectively the lesser alpha, and the way grian and scar were glued to one another made that fact obvious in his eyes. neither scar nor mumbo were particularly heavy in their alpha instincts, but at least scar smelled the part most of the time.

mumbo's own scent felt weak, and he wasn't really the bold and brash type. he was soft hearted, easy to stumble after whatever he chased, always stopping short of the finish line whenever he felt even an inch too much of an advantage. (it's why grian liked him so much in the first place. mumbo never tried to take what wasn't his.)

once their individual gripes are settled, and they take some time to heal (scar makes a point not to remark grian until mumbo is entirely in favor of it, and once his mind settles, grian pushes scar and mumbo to spend more time in the nest together,) eventually by grian's next heat they're in agreement that he'll have two mating bites.

it's new, to have two claims on one person. not entirely unheard of, but often seen as a greater pain than pleasure. it means always having one of your mates scenting you to keep their claim level with the other, it meant constant remarking for the same reason, it meant never being alone for the rest of your life.

grian couldn't think of a better fate. (i'm sorry this got long again MY BAD I'M DONE NOW LOL)

AAAAAH I LOVE IT

Gods poor Mumbo would be sososo heartbroken and Jsut dejected knowing this would come.. But it's mostly on part of instincts that they all hate

But it gets so much better once they both mate mark him qoq I love it

Please it isn't too long it's perfect I love it

#bluie gets an ask poggers #tw a/b/o #long post

[askbohemiancompany]

Somebody Home

(Previous)

Gingerly, Grohl began to open his eyes. While there was still the red mark, Lonnie said to the others it will fade away after sometime. The tangrowth almost wanted to keep them closed. Any light felt to intense now.

“Grohl!” Gwen sounded relieved. She did not care if this zoroark would give her shit for showing affection.

Or at least before she stopped herself. Grohl was still recovering, she had to be mindful of that.

After an awkward pause, both Grohl and Gwen looked at each other. Gwen had the smile that Grohl had only seen a few times, but he knew the likely reason why she was smiling.

“How long was I out for?” The tangrowth asked, almost ready to hear a few months.

“You have been out for two weeks. Lenox pulled some strings and had a friend’s darkrai come to help jump start your brain.” There was apprehension to advise on the potential concern for how much the dark type saw of his memory. It could have been any number of things the two did not disclose to others.

“Could you give me and Grohl some privacy please?”

With that, the zoroark nodded and left the hospital room, leaving the two alone.

“Grohl. Can I ask you a question? Please be honest with me on this,” there was a lull. Both were nervous over what the other was going to say. Gwen had to bite the bullet. “Did I...ever make you feel uncomfortable about saying something?”

Well shit. The tangrowth realized everyone likely knew about his medical condition. He had to clear the air about why he did not tell anyone.

“Not at all. I just did not want to have anyone worry about my medical condition. There was actually another reason I did not want to disclose it though.”

The psychic was relieved, but she did not have time for inner joy. What Grohl had to say could be important. She looked intently at the grass type, indicating she was listening.

“You know how I specialize in killing ground, rock and water types? Well, when I kill and take their life force, it actually makes my issues improve. It does more than that, it gives me a high. I just did not want to have Freddy not hire people or take jobs due to this,” a look of shame went over the tangrowth’s eyes. “I do not want any new hires to be uncomfortable with me if they were one of those types. I also was worried if I ever had a energy craving and lose control.”

The psychic slowly moved her hand towards Grohl’s should, wanting to allow Grohl to give silent permission.

The grass type allowed it, nodding his head.

Her hand rested on his shoulder. “Grohl. Don’t take this the wrong way, but you are catastrophizing. You have been around plenty of rock, water and ground types. You have never acted out once. As for scaring new recruits. Trust me, Freddy or I would probably do that before you ever would.”

Both laughed at the joke. There was truth in what Gwen said. Everyone in the company would likely make people feel uncomfortable in their own unique way. Eccentricities, powers, attitude, those were more than one way to make someone nervous.

“I guess that is silly, yeah. Still, I need to be careful with certain of my creations. I have to make sure no one touches them. For everyone’s safety.”

No. Grohl was already thinking on his security system. Gwen shot him a concerned look, she wanted to stop him.

“Listen Grohl. I understand you are important to the system you made, but maybe we should not bother with that right now. It is what has been burning you out for the last few days. You need to just let that go for now.”

The tangrowth began to lean upward. “I have to maintain it, if it drops, we will be open for attack and the bombs can go off and hurt someone.”

Gently nudging the grass type back onto the bed. Gwen exhaled, not breaking eye contact at all. “Grohl. Please.”

Begrudgingly, he sighed. “I’ll leave it be for now. I’ll focus on recovering first.”

“That’s better,” The old Gwen was back, her confident, aloof and strong swagger was back in swing. “So do you want me to let everyone know you aare awake. I’ll take a moment to readjust and-”

Not that Grohl would get the chance, Lenox peered into the room and saw Grohl was awake. She was elated! The hawlucha then ran to go get Lonnie from wherever they were.

“Guess I don’t get to relax on my own.”

The friends chuckled, then gave each other a look of care for one another.

“Thank you Gwen.” Grohl raised hand up as if to fist bump.

“Ey, glad to have you back. Buddy.” Fists made contact, then they made it explode.

#plot #Grohl the Tangrowth #Gwen the gothitelle #lenox the hawlucha

[dulcewrites]

oh my god fmo!aemond would be the type of person to have a madonna whore complex wouldn't he 😭 now im even more excited for the next part and to find out if the way in which he considered alys had changed (before daemyra entered the picture) when he fell in love with her or when she became pregnant. like i think he would still see reader and alys being stationed on two different levels except they Would have something in common now.... alys' side of things is sooo interesting to think about too (especially since we haven't officially met her yet and if it really turns out she had been planted by daemyra). unlike reader, she's allowed to cross that line of using her charms to get what she wants in a more direct way and probably does find some pleasure in it (or rather has come to) but surely not without it causing her some serious damage due to being a bastard servant and it maybe being her only her means to survive in the world. also it adds another layer to what you've said before about both her and reader fixating on each other and craving what the other has and all of it has me wanting to Scream because theyre all so fucked up and i love themmmm. PLEASE don't stop sharing fmo web weavings/meta posts, they absolutely bright up my day💌

It definitely would have been interesting to see if he changed with her apparently being pregnant. Would it have been “easier” because alys would not be around the reader is. Or bc he thinks the child was made out of love. Would his brain get fucked up again bc alys is now a mother, and he can’t wrap his head around a mother engaging in things they do. Like you said, would they be on the same level now as caregivers of his children… fulfilling a duty now.

I think it’s why hearing that news literally sends reader into labor. If she isn’t making her husband happy, if he isn’t having sex with her… and now he is having children with other women. In her mind, she’s thinking what even is my purpose here.

The differences similarities between reader and alys live rent free in my head too. I kind of see them as Alicent and Rhaenyra in the sense that it is possible for them to be victims and perpetrators in a patriarchal society… bc most women (myself included) are both at times.

Alys clearly is a victim in how she’s been treated as a bastard and then of course a woman. Sort of similar to Rhaenyra, I see her maybe making not great decisions as a mean to survival. It is not her (or Rhaenyra’s) job to uplift other women (though ryra obviously has more power to do that) especially when she is just trying to survive…. but in they also may feel the need to step on some toes to achieve semblances of power/freedom. She thinks of reader and sees someone who has live a very privileged life, especially compared to her, and she’s not wrong. But with that privilege comes a certain level of rigidness that alys probably wouldn’t like.

Just like reader can be a victim in her marriage, and basically being degraded by her mother growing up. Told that her wants and needs are secondary. She ~knows~ her role and place. But she can be a perpetrator with internalizing that and project that onto other women. She probably thought some very… not nice things when she found out the woman Aemond cheating with was an older bastard woman. Fmo is a story about cheating, and the targs being messy. But also reader reevaluating ideas of patriarchy (even if she doesn’t have that word in her head as a medieval woman).

Alys and reader are sort of everything each other want to be but also nothing they want to be… it’s interesting and fucked up

#I’m glad you guys are fine with my rambling lmao bc I love talking about it 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽 #especially asks like this #fool me once asks #but it’s also ironic bc like… good looking nobility seemingly with a stick up their ass… yeah reader is so alys’ type

[90363462]

Why Trauma Bonds Makes For Soul-Snatching Sex But Not Long-Term Relationships

Kiarra SylvesterApr. 18, 2022 05:08PM EST

We as a generation have become determined to unpack our trauma in order to create better lives for ourselves and our future families (however we choose to fulfill that role). No matter how obnoxious it may get, for better or worse, we’ve started to familiarize ourselves with terms such as gaslighting or trauma bond. The more we unpack, the more “come to Jesus” moments we may have about the state of our current relationships. 

Eventually, this requires loving ourselves more than we love others – it means showing up for ourselves in the face of what appears to be love but is often a trauma bond. Though easier to spot in romantic relationships, they do also occur in friendships as well. My focus today will be the romantic kind because the intimate concoction of trauma conflated with sex and sometimes love is a bit more complicated to navigate. 

I chatted with Shawnessa Devonish MA, LCPC, NCC Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor so that we could fully understand what a trauma bond might look like.

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​The first thing obviously is for us to clearly define a trauma bond. Devonish matter of factly explains that “trauma bonds are developed when feelings of compatibility are sparked based off of suffering from both individuals. The connection is so enhanced that it intensifies intimacy.” She later adds, “Any traumatic [or] distressing experience can trigger the development of a trauma bond with others. In addition, a person’s susceptibility to becoming trapped in a trauma bond can be determined by childhood interactions and experiences.”

Dunno about you, but this is sorta what I envisioned the whole time I was tossing the word around. What I wasn’t aware of was the fact that a trauma bond can take an alternative form and the bond can also be built when the relationship is initiated with abusive red flags. When it does, it almost ends up looking like Stockholm syndrome. The abuse breaks the victim down and the abuser initially gives large doses of affection, but the longer the abuse goes on, the less the affection follows. The victim can grow dependent on this affection, and the sex can feel like a reward. 

I, however, would like to focus on the former because I think this is often the type of trauma bond we’re often speaking of. The trauma bonds that have us in a chokehold because the sex and overall experience are so intense that it feels like the purest form of love in the midst of darkness. 

Why Is Trauma Bond Sex So Damn Good?

You might have guessed it but the one and only “feel-good hormone” is responsible for the intense, mind-blowing sex. Our expert goes into more detail stating, “Trauma bounds intensify the sexual experience because it increases dopamine (‘the feel-good hormone’) levels in our minds–they enhance the sexual act and motivate more sexual encounters.”

Despite the glaring fact that all you two may have in common is trauma and good sex, this connection is strong enough to omit indications of a pleasurable experience to your brain because “we as humans have an innate need for connection/companionship and that alone can become addictive to some. Specifically when a person becomes hyper-focused on maintaining those [feelings of ] pleasure, even if it is temporary and toxic. The craving for connection becomes so intense that it can prevent some people from thinking logically.”

She later adds, “This leaves the door open for potentially toxic relationship dynamics because people neglect to search for compatibility in other areas [careers, hobbies, etc]. Hence, people are at risk of being blinded by the manipulative, disrespectful, critical, and/or callous partner.” This in turn means the relationship dynamic is easily transformed into an abusive one. With that, I had to question whether this dynamic can ever actually be mutual, authentic love and the answer is yes, it can. 

However, Devonish warns that because the relational dynamic isn’t the best, to begin with, it's likely a dysfunctional type of love. She provides the analogy of having a love for junk food. Furthermore, she says, “It is important that individuals refrain from allowing the ‘love’ to blind them to the point where they are making illogical and impulsive decisions pertaining to the unhealthy relationship.”

Trauma Bonds: Red Flags to Look Out for, According to Our Expert

1. Dissatisfaction Outside of Sexual Encounters

Is the partner providing you with satisfaction outside of sexual encounters? When you take a moment to review things, you may notice that your partner is inconsistent, disrespectful, controlling, or even critical. It is important to assess how you overall feel in the relationship and not solely base that assessment on sex.

2. All You Have in Common Is…Trauma

Do you and that person talk about anything else? Connecting with a person solely because of a common trauma experience can be risky since it can trigger flashbacks, nightmares, or even re-traumatize you. If you discover that you have nothing else to talk about, you may be in a trauma bonding situation.

3. Make Note of Narcissistic Traits

When it comes to trauma bonding in intimate relationships, it is important to assess manipulative and controlling behaviors from your partner. Some may be overlooking them due to their need to maintain that connection or even because of the sympathy they have for that person.

Can Trauma Bonds be Broken? 

Short answer: yes. But that doesn’t necessarily result in your being with this partner anymore. Nonetheless, here are a few expert-approved ways to do so:

Talk to professionals to gain an objective/realistic view of the dynamic. Trauma bonds are so intense that they prevent people from thinking logically. Reaching out to professionals (ex: therapists, healers) can be helpful because we educate and assist clients with seeing things from new lenses. 

Look into EMDR Therapy. EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It is a trauma treatment approach to therapy that assists clients with reprocessing trauma so that the experience is no longer physically or emotionally distressing to the client. During the EMDR process, clients can also develop insight that may encourage them to release themselves from the shackles of any trauma bonds. 

Assess your options. In trauma bonding relationships, it may feel like your only option is to be with that partner. However, you are capable of leaving. Work on developing a plan of action. You can also reach out to a professional or even the National Domestic Violence Hotlines to obtain some strategies and resources (if you are in an abusive relationship).

Ultimately, it’s up to you and your partner to determine if the bond you two have is deeper than the trauma you share and if it is in turn salvageable. Because so much of the criteria for what constitutes the bond being "salvageable" leaves little to no room for commonalities, you may find when you all go to do the work that there’s not much of a solid foundation to stand on, much less grow from. 

In fact, I urge you and your partner to simultaneously seek out individual help while communicating your observations as you work to shift the nature of your relationship. One-on-one expert help will create a safe place for you to process hard truths on your own time, in your own space. 

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Featured image by Shutterstock

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

TW: CSA; asian fetishization, particularly sexualization of asian women; incest, incestuous sexual abuse; abusive relationships; grooming; 'weeaboo' behavior; self harm

looking for advice? support? idk i'm just so upset

i have DID and ptsd and i think a lot of it is connected to my white dad who was very fetishistic about asian women (my mom is asian) and would sexualize me as a child and also touch me inappropriately. i remember when i was a child (10 years) him talking about how apparently all men know that the specific mix of ethnicities i am is the most attractive. he also sexually mistreated me and i know wanted a female child (i was afab) so i can't help but think i was brought into the world becasue of the sex fantasy of my father who was trying to make the optimal sex race in his eyes. i'm trying to understand the concept of consent and other things now (i did not know i had a right to reject sexual advances or much of any other rights at all) and i'm having trouble adjusting to the world, although it is much better than the world at home.

one thing that keeps bothering me is 'weeaboos,' white people who are seemingly quite proud to proclaim their love of 'japanese culture' as a thin veil for fetishization. it's so common and widespread and in my living situation in college i encounter so many images of sexualized, often childlike or explicitly child characters, anime drawings. it really upsets me and my brain fog is so bad it's hard to explain why these things are wrong and perpetuate the same type of sexual violence that ruined my life. things were so much worse before, why does this bother me so much? i just feel unsafe i guess and things upset me more now that i know i'm supposed to have rights. the worst thing is sometimes it's inarticulatable. for example what caused me to have bad dissociation and flashbacks today were posters for some sort of 'cat maid' performance, with a 'anime' girl in a maid outfit. i don't know how to explain how i KNOW that this comes from fetishization of asian women! i just KNOW! and it upsets me because i can't explain. i hate that white people expect me to be polite and bring it up to them instead of tearing it down myself, they want me to politely debate them when im the one who hurts so bad trying to talk about it, it affects me not them. (this happened before)

i just feel so unsafe and when i have gone to multiple of my friends for support, they stop responding to me after i talk about being sexually abused as a child. it's like i disgust them. i hate myself so much and no one will help me. i feel so alone. and i hate therapists more than anyone, i have gone to over 7 therapists and i hated all of them.. they don't understand my experiences or respect me. it's so hard to reach out to friends and talk about what i've gone through and i don't know what to do that they ignore me. and the friends who do respond to me only respond to my messages after i mention something else- usually a favor i can do for them. it's so hard to trust anyone and i've had my trust betrayed several times. the only thing i can think of to do is self harm. i've been through too much in my life and i can't handle it anymore. i have so little support in my life to the point where i desparately miss the 30+ year old white man who groomed me when i was 16 and want to talk to him. i feel like there is no one i can trust but i crave going back to people who hurt me

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry to hear about what happened to you, as well as what you've been going through more recently.

It makes sense why those portrayals are bothersome and perhaps even triggering for you. It reminds you of the way you believe your dad wanted you to be. I can see how being calm and collected feels impossible when it's so brazenly reminiscent of your trauma.

It sounds like many people in your life you tried talking to about your trauma, friends and therapists, weren't equipped with the proper emotional response and multicultural approach that you were looking for. They simply weren't understanding enough and you felt invisible. You don't deserve to feel that way.

I hope that you find people to surround yourself with that do make you feel seen and heard as a survivor, and can respect your thoughts on asian fetishization.

I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks #abuse #child abuse #SA #tw r #tw sh