#also i find him far easier to draw tbh..!

[frogintheair]

i beat the dlc of a completely unrelated game and my hands feel SO rusty. drew this as a warm up

#fire emblem #fire emblem engage #alear #louis #idk the ship name. sure its wonderful though! #ermmm to those who dont know ^_^ louis wouldve been my first pick for pact ring if it were not for EL PAN!!!!!! #ALSO i really debated over which alear to draw for this but i went w/ m since hes my precious sopping wet cat #also i find him far easier to draw tbh..! #anyways. i love louis' pact ring support its so sweet.. #my art

[freckliedan]

Hi!!! I just wanted to talk about how Dan and Phil as a brand is so relatable to neurodivergents in the way that they've been treated recently. So DnP built their careers off of being "weird" and "quirky" and socially awkward. That was Their Thing. Dan spoke for years about being violently bullied (quotes such as "being punched in the head by dickheads" stand out as a pre-BIG example of just how violent it got at times), Phil had the Why I Was a Weird Kid series, they both were frequently talked about as being "weird" and "awkward" by other YouTubers - they WERE the "weird" ones of the vlog group. The ones that awkward teens could relate to. Unfortunately, this got the attention of the #imsoquirky crowd who talks like they're experiencing all of these things while also being the same people who would mock me for my autism.

And that's the crowd now saying Dan is too old to be posting catboy photos or saying that the two of them "give the ick now, idk why." And I just can't help but notice how much I relate to that as an autistic and ADHD person. So many times over the years, I've made "friends" who were slightly into my interests, but then got weirded out by how hard I went into them. I think what we're seeing is the same thing happening to Dan and Phil. Drawing cat whiskers on your face to answer questions? Well that's "so cute and quirky"!! (/s). But actually playing as Catboys in JRPGs, dressing up in cat ears, making animal noises (which the two of them always did but ig this group overlooked), etc? Well that's "too far" and "so weird."

I think Dan especially got hit with this because he has more subscribers. When he talks about being bullied, most people can relate to that. But then when he goes and honks a horn in a game repeatedly (which tbh I've done before myself, very ADHD coded of him) or talks about hiding behind vending machines to avoid talking to people, that is suddenly "too annoying/weird" for some of the audience that got into him for his "relatably weird" content.

Sorry this is such a long ramble, but basically Dan and Phil have accidentally become the perfect examples of how kids with autism/ADHD/social pragmatic disorder/nvld/dyspraxia *insert other neurodivergencies that can cause atypical socialization* are treated. People might find your initial "quirkiness" relatable because everyone feels awkward or socially anxious at times, but it's when they see that you are Actually Just Like That and it's not to be #relatable that they turn on you and start saying that you're "too much" and "too weird."

Dan and Phil were the "weird" ones of the British vlog scene, and those of us who tuned into the younows or watched their older videos knew this, but someone who only subbed after watching a meme review or the two of them playing undertale might have assumed that they were the "right" kind of quirky/weird.

This is probably incoherent, but I hope you get what I mean.

this isn't incoherent! just such a well thought out ask i don't have anything to add. there's really specific ways i'm comfortable talking abour dnp + neurodivergence & neurodivergence in general so it's not something i've ever done super in depth posts abt!

i've actually gotten a few really lengthy asks like this over the last few weeks, so this is to you and to my other askers: i really appreciate that folks want to share their ideas with me but sometimes i genuinely don't have enough to contribute in response to add on to what's being said! and that makes it pretty impossible to answer asks like this.

so this is to everyone: feel free to @ me in the replies on your posts! (doing that leaves things cleaner than @ ing in the body of a post, which in my experience means folks are more likely to engage, if that's what you're looking for). especially loop me in about dnp + neurodivergene or dnp + gender!

this isn't a promise i'll rb or even see things, this website's functionality is shit, but like. it's actually way easier for me to see and support than if yall are sending me essay length anons, and this way i + others can find more people who share the same opinions as us! make ur own posts & ppl will follow u i prommy

#jam replies #anon #very unrelated response to ur ask but like. yours is a complete thought i agree with in meaning if not 100% in your phrasing but i know whe #not to be a pedantic asshole so like! @ me in yall's posts. it will work out better for you than sending me asks like this that i can't #answer

[ironladders]

so i had a thought about ashrah and syzoth and i really dont know how to feel about it so i want your input. and keep in mind i am still new to MK lore and dont understand the ins and outs of it like most other people do. but i read that in past timelines at least, demons of the netherrealm were dead bodies reanimated by quan chi. so i was wondering, how do you feel about the idea of ashrah having been syzoths wife in her past life, probably unbeknownst to her. does it make sense, the implications of it, etc.

hi sorry i was in figure drawing when i got this ask & that class lasts 6 hours 🫠 art school was a mistake

anyways: this is so good and yet evil oh my god??????? it probably wouldn't work in canon unless stuff got retconned, but the implications here are so interesting to me regardless and you could do so much stuff character-wise (especially for ashrah) with this concept.....

first off, don't worry about not knowing extensive details about mk lore. it's bound to be confusing for someone new to the franchise, and even then plenty of us who've been here for a while don't entirely know what's going on either. i had to look up half the shit i mention in this post just to make sure i'm not off by a bunch

syzoth would have the biggest mental breakdown ever if this were a thing. poor guy can't catch a break

this would be a lot for ashrah, if she were to find out or otherwise put the pieces together. i mean, her whole thing is wanting to be fully human, and yet in this idea, she's not aware that she once already was human. that would be absolutely wild and 100% turn her entire world upside-down if she were to ever find out that truth.

the angst in this idea would go crazy. I LOVE IT. i think that syzoth would be reluctant to get close in any way with ashrah (at least initially) because, even if he doesn't know about how some demons are dead people brought back to life, ashrah physically resembling + sounding like his dead wife would mess with his head SO much.

poor ashrah, too; she's trying to learn what it means to be human and make friends with all these new people, and everyone in the good-guys group seems to be willing to be open with her--except for syzoth. and she has zero clue why. of course, because of their similar pasts and common struggles, they'd probably be drawn to each other anyways, but it'd be 10x more depressing than in canon

i imagine in this concept, shang killed her and then gave her corpse to quan chi. i don't think shang tsung would've given syzoth's family the dignity of dying in the living forest, tbh, i personally believe he dragged them off somewhere far away to die (which is also how i imagine syzoth went so long without knowing they were dead in the first place. easier to keep him in the dark about his family's fate if he's not aware of where they are). alternatively, ashrah could be put in a similar boat to old-timeline hanzo, who was a vengeful spirit of the netherrealm after being killed by bi-han, and then continuously manipulated by quan chi. i guess she would have to be somehow turned from a spectre to a demon, but i'm sure they can figure it out with magic lmfao

you're sort of right about the reanimated/reincarnation thing, it just doesn't apply to every type of demon. (more lore explanation under the cut bc i rambled a lot and it got a bit long oops) (if you read up on all this already and this information is useless to you i sincerely apologize in advance)

the lots of different demon types in mortal kombat: imps, oni, the enenera, cambions, and other miscellaneous ones. iirc there was also gonna be another class called "elder demons" (like elder gods but not really???? i guess???) in an older game but that was scrapped.

there’s technically a difference between the oni and other demons, because quan chi in the old timeline was an oni before he turned into a demon after mastering sorcery. so i guess oni are like… lower than demons??? or something?????? i’m not actually sure what the difference is between the two tbh 😓

we know that the enenra are created from the souls of slain mortals, so they'd be an example of an undead person coming back as a demon, as mentioned in this very sad scenario. the only enenra that we've actually met in canon is smoke, who was explained to be one after dying as a child via his mk9 ending

it's really fucked up lol, some cult kidnapped & sacrificed him when he just a kid

so that would be one example of how in this au/scenario/thing, ashrah could've had a human life once and not be aware of it. this tracks pretty well with mk9 smoke not remembering his previous life or death, until his early memories came back to him after so long.

the only issue is that smoke was reborn as an enenra right after he was killed, and after he took out his revenge on the cultists, he woke back up in his human body with no memories of his previous life. so i assume this would apply to any other enenra: they die, come back and do their thing, then go back to their original bodies right where they died with no memories of their old lives. they don't minecraft respawn in the netherrealm, which is where ashrah is from. but if pre-death ashrah in this au was dragged to the netherrealm and then killed, then brought back as a demon that's further manipulated by quan chi's dark magic, i guess it could work?????

(speaking of the enenra: in one of his mk1 intros with ashrah, smoke mentions dreaming of the enenra. so either tomas already died in this new timeline & just isn't aware of it, OR he's gonna kick the bucket soon and come back as an enenra. either way, we should probably prepare his funeral in advance lmfao).

there have also been demons that aren’t enenra, but are still dead people reincarnated by quan chi, as you mentioned. they're really obscure characters -- i had to look them up to make sure i wasn't making this up in my head lmfao -- but in the show mortal kombat: conquest there's siann, mika, and sora. they're undead corpses of the netherrealm that were brought back to life as demons via quan chi's magic

they lived they served cunt they died

from my understanding (i haven't watched mk:c, i just read their wiki page) they were basically being forced to work for quan chi otherwise he threatened take away their living forms, which sucks. also mika might have a crush on quan chi….. for some reason???

the difference between these three and the enenra, though, is that they seem to actually be aware that they're undead lol. but maybe that's just because quan chi keeps threatening them with being corpses again if they don't follow his orders (again, haven't watched mk:c). who knows! their wiki page isn’t that long and doesn’t give me much info so i don’t have much to go off of 🤷🏻‍♂️

ashrah in mk1 does have a canonical demon type; she mentions that her and her sisters are cambions in an intro with kitana, hence how sareena can seamlessly change between her human-ish and demon form. i don’t thiiiink cambions are “reborn”/undead the same way the enenra would be? in irl folklore “cambion” is used to refer to either a changeling — which makes sense given sareena — or a demon-human hybrid. i really doubt ashrah’s the latter, though, so i suppose she just... spawned into existence as a cambion one day. or maybe she has demon parents running around somewhere. idk bro

i guess what i’m trying to tie together here is that in the “ashrah is a reborn dead person but doesnt know it and unfortunately said dead person is syzoth’s dead wife” nightmare scenario you’ve presented to my inbox, it could go a few ways:

she’s an enenra

same situation as the mk:c girls

hanzo-esque situation (although he's not a demon so. idk)

the second one is probably more in line with what you're thinking of, except that unlike the mk:c girls, ashrah would be kept in the dark that she's a reanimated corpse of a human woman.

and, i said this earlier, but i'll say it again: this would be a wild twist for ashrah character-wise. imagine: she’s fighting for her absolution, fighting to be a human and rid herself of her demonic nature, and then it turns out all along that at one point, there was a time ashrah was human. she had a human life and appearance once, and it was all ripped from her one day and she had no idea. even if her previous life wasn’t related to syzoth or anyone else on the roster, that would still suck. but on the other hand, i think it would give her even more incentive to purify her soul & finally kill quan chi. she'd be hurt, angry, want vengeance for the human woman she once was. the woman that was wrongfully murdered for a sorcerer's selfish gains. the possibilities are endless!!!

i dunno what else to put here or how to end this off, but i've got so many thoughts now... oughh

#not art #ask #ashzoth #angelscales #ashrah #syzoth #iiii am too tired to tag the rest of the ppl mentioned here LOL

[tamedstray]

𝑴𝒖𝒏 𝒅𝒂𝒔𝒉 𝒈𝒂𝒎𝒆

NAME? Nori

PRONOUNS? She/ her but not picky tbh

MOST ACTIVE MUSE(S)? This is my only blog, so just Vigor with occasional Cain-Brain <3

RP PET PEEVES? I always say accessibility for rules and bios, but it is always relevant and the only thing I feel kind of strongly about.

EXPERIENCE / HOW MANY YEARS? I started at about ten years old, but my time roleplaying has been sporadic to say the least. I haven't been on the rpc long term since 2018. That being said, I've been writing Vigor since January 2016 x

FLUFF, ANGST, OR SMUT? Angst, shortly followed by fluff. Gotta make it hurt to really make the cute shit count. As for smut, I write it when the mood strikes, and because I find those intimate moments very revealing about a muse and their partner's dynamic. However, I only find the foreplay particularly fun and need to just fade-to-black more. Writing smut is a fun challenge, but not my favourite by far.

PLOTS OR MEMES Memes as icebreakers to discover chemistry and dynamic, or inspired by plotting. Having a plot makes writing so much easier. While I try to balance out my focus between plotted and non-plotted, I will often write the plotted stuff first to get through drafts faster, helping me focus even when muse runs low !!

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES? I like to write at least a paragraph. I like the idea of banter, but need to add actions and reactions, otherwise it feels off. Overall, reply length just depends on the thread!

TIME TO WRITE? I'm a shift worker who works Tuesday-Saturday. I'm most active on Mondays or during the week when I have a night shift. My activity fluctuates depending on my muse, but also because I have two very needy cats, and a partner who I love dearly ♡ Also, I am not writing at work, unlike some of you lucky bastards 😭

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S) Cain? Absolutely not, apart from a little detail in his backstory. Vigor and I are both big believers in hope and there being a lot of goodness in the world, even if Vigor doesn't believe that goodness resides in him. We have very different upbringings, but I like to draw on what experience I have to add little details (hypervigilance, anxiety, etc.) Also, we're both lefties <3

Tagged by @notyetfixed & @musezieren (thank you guys ♡♡) Tagging @lunespariah @powerfought @tadbitfooled @forbiddenacademia & @stormsmerchant and anyone else who feels like it !!

#ooc. #q.

[golbrocklovely]

i screen shot your ask just bc it was super long and i wanted it to be a bit easier for ppl to read your ask and then my response, so i hope you don't mind !

as for your opinion about the last video being somewhat scripted…. i don't really agree. but let me explain. first and foremost, there is too much riding on snc constantly telling the truth. if they were ever caught lying or faking evidence, they would lose their career. obviously there would be fans that stick by their side no matter what, but a lot of the fanbase would dip out if they thought snc were truly faking shit. and it would call into question every single investigation. so unless you believe that they also scripted/faked other videos, i don't think they would start now. and especially not at some random location most ppl have never heard of/isn't as popular as some of the other places they go to.

tbh, i think this was just a severe lack in research. snc aren't exactly known for doing the most thorough research on these places. prime example being the winchester house. it took until their third visit to finally find out that sarah winchester wasn't a crazy lady building room after room like a sims game. they believed what the caretakers said but also what the legend or folklore was, bc that's a lot more interesting than the real story. so, personally, i believe that snc just took the caretaker's word for this place and did no research after it. last time snc talked about having a team, they said they had one person that would help them with research, and with the amount of places snc go to, it might be easy for that one person to get a little lazy at times (or possibly they might not even have a person anymore since they haven't mentioned a researcher in a long time).

now, is it possible that celina knew and then embellished on the story? yeah, i guess so. i don't think that's impossible. but correct me if i'm wrong, bc i don't feel like going back and rewatching the video, but i thought she was saying that ed shot himself thru the top of his head, not the side (like the actual reports say). that way it would look like someone killed him, not that he killed himself. that way the murder could be placed on the doctor - according to celina's theory. i thought that was what she was pointing out in the drawing too. that it was a guy pointing a gun down at his head from the top and blood was running down his face. i might be misremembering so if i am, my apologies.

also if i'm completely honest, and sorry to snc if they ever see this, i don't think they are smart enough to script something like this. and i mean that with respect, even if it doesn't sound like it lol writing out a story that makes cohesive sense is very difficult - take it from the fanfiction writer who also majored in film and theatre in college. and that's a lot more difficult if it's based off a place that has actual evidence that point to the contrary. if snc were the first to go there, and there was little to no reports on what actually happened, they could kinda make shit up and no one would really know. but clearly it's a quick enough google search to know what the reports really said. i think they just took the caretaker's word for it and didn't give it much more thought. i also kinda think they just don't have the time to do it. bc again, this would assumingly not be their first scripted video (bc why start now, especially when you have so much proof that you don't need to script things to be entertaining?) so then that means how far back did they start? and if so, when they were pumping out multiple videos in a month, they were scripting those too? and since they collab with so many ppl, nobody - not a single person - has let it slipped, even on accident, that they script things?? it all relies too heavily on too many ppl keeping their mouths shut and snc don't have enough money to be paying off that many ppl sksksksk

if you really feel like snc did script this video, that's fine. you're allowed to think that. i don't personally believe they did. i think they just didn't research this place enough bc it wouldn't be the first time they got information wrong.

also i did the quickest and laziest of research aka i just googled the mansion, and the wikipedia page even says allegedly committed suicide so….. it might be possible that snc were trying to figure out did he actually do it or was he killed and then they just worded everything incorrectly. this also doesn't explain how celina knew if assumingly she didn't google anything beforehand. idk, either way i still don't think they scripted it. but if you disagree, i get why. i just don't think it would make sense for them to do it.

#ask #personal

[cold-neon-ocean]

Unpopular opinion: deep down I always felt like bataar was actually ok with being a non bender and proud of what he could accomplish with no bending abilities/support. But I always love your take on TLOK series!!

BITES MY FIST I COULDN'T AGREE MORE!!!!!!!

I've always looked at him as actually not wanting bending and being fine that he doesn't have it because he takes a lot of pride in being able to do what he does without it. Would Engineering probably be easier with bending? Yeah. But can he still do it anyways without it? Sure can! And that definitely is a point of pride for him for sure, like he does with his bare hands what others need bending to do.

I interpret his anger coming from the fact that despite all that, he's still regarded as lesser than by society as a whole just for not having it regardless. Having bending is regarded as the fullest experience of living, and he hates that he's just automatically looked down on because he's a non-bender, because he KNOWS he can get by fine without it, but despite that he still gets over looked in favor of bending. That's why I found his relationship with Kuvira very meaningful because she's regarded as one of the most skilled benders in the whole franchise and yet she acknowledges and values his capabilities.

Like I imagine Baatar having this complex about bending where he vehemently insists he doesn't need it for things, even something like being healed by a water bender he would straight up reject because he doesn't wanna feel like he owes bending something in his life that he could do on his own without it. In his mind people like himself have been finding their own ways to do things since the beginning so there's no reason why he shouldn't be able to. Like building the kind of infrastructure and machinery he's been capable of without bending is no small feat for sure, but he just came from a family where bending was their whole identity and he no longer wants to be looked at like he's lesser than.

Also I've had a headcanon for a long time that Baatar has a general anxiety when surrounded by benders because he knows that just by default he has no means of defending himself that would come close to matching what benders are capable of. Like he doesn't really go places out in public if he doesn't have to, and even when escorted he's always got this thought in the back of his mind like "if any one of these people wanted to use bending to overpower me they could and I wouldn't be able to do anything about it" and that thought also just kinda adds to his spite because he doesn't want to be afraid like that either lol he's just fighting on all sides tbh that kinda lends itself to why I draw him the way I do, aka jacked, because 1. working out became his anger management, and 2. it's a sort of "at least I can bring myself as far as this" kind of mindset, because despite not having bending I do love the idea that he overcompensates a little by just being able to crush someone's ribcage alksdjf LOLOL someone needs to save this man from his own mind.

But anyway yes yes yes 100% I couldn't agree with you more!!!

#Ask Matsu #Baatar Jr. #LoK Thoughts #[ HIM SO ANGRY #just not for the reasons everyone thinks LOLOL #meanwhile Kuvira things his so cool like genuinely #Bolin probably does too #And Baatar is just 'finally someone agrees with me' KSJDFAS #but no for real he has a lot of complexes about a lot of things sobs #but he does have a lot of pride in what he is able to do #he just wants everyone else to acknowledge that just because he isn't a bender that doesn't disregard what he can and has accomplished #and wishes the world didn't automatically see him as the lesser human ]

[skyjynxart]

Pure Evil. In a tiny, cute, and entirely non-threatening container.

#expression meme #palette meme #artists on tumblr #digital art #digital drawing #//the character is really far removed from his canon appearance so I'm not even gonna bother tagging him whoops XD #the only thing that's 'evil' about this fucking palette is trying to work with it #tho tbh I think I'd have an easier time using it for someone with darker skin??? #guess we'll find out when I do Salzar >3> #anyway I'm really loving him in all this goddamn pink tho #also hi i'm stupidly proud of how pleasing the bg is despite being super simple so

[merakiui]

Do you think the octotrio has a preference for which form they take when fucking reader?Maybe it’s just me but I feel like despite the difference in their preferences whether it’s taking you in human or mer form, they especially like it in human form because they can clearly hear the squelching and slapping of skin with their every thrust, plus they like that your moans sound clearer on land than underwater. Though they still do like doing it in their mer forms too mostly because of the control they have over you and your squirming and helplessness under water also spurs them more.

There are definitely pros and cons for both forms and they each have their own preferences. I’ll put it under a cut for nsfw/breeding/choking warning but also because I rambled. orz

Azul (human form) - he’s more confident in this form, it’s easier to try many different positions on land than in water, he believes it’s a more desirable form, and he feels more connected to you in this way because you’re human and he’s also temporarily human. but he has less appendages at his disposal, so he can’t lavish every part of you with love and touch. additionally, having sex above water is safer for you and he’s prone to being more gentle in human form despite the fact that you’re okay with him being rough. 

Azul (octo-mer form) - he can taste all of you with his suckers, he can use his tentacles to hold you, squeeze you, fuck you in different places at the same time, and it helps keep you upright and stable in the water. but he’s very self-conscious about this form and the first time you do it he might make you wear a blindfold because he’s very worried about what you’ll think if you see him. he’ll need lots of reassurance so that he can be comfortable fucking you in this form. but once he gets used to it, it’s far more pleasurable than in human form and he finds immense enjoyment in restraining you with his tentacles. 

Jade (human form) - like Azul, he can also try so many positions on land and he’s fascinated by the different names for each (doggy style? so interesting. 69? he’s listening. teach him more 👀). it’s also easier to fuck on a bed or any other surface on land than in water where he doesn’t need to fret over keeping your head above the water. he can also clearly see every expression you make depending on what position you’re in and he loves every sound that spills from your kissable lips. it’s also safer to mark you up on land than in the water because even the tiniest bit of blood is enough to draw other predators in, and Jade is very territorial when it comes to his beloved. 

Jade (eel form) - he’s bigger and stronger in this form, so it’s easier to manhandle you. if he really wanted to he could just use you like a fleshlight. his dick can reach places inside of you that a human cock can’t. also breeding. it’s so much easier to breed you in his eel form. he likes a little fear play every now and then, so if you fuck in the water be prepared to hold onto him so that you don’t slip under the water. he’ll always make sure to keep you upright, but sometimes it’s amusing to watch you squirm and struggle underwater. 

Floyd (human form) - he’s really just a magic 8-ball in any form tbh so you never know what to expect with him, but he finds that it’s easier to choke you in human form. pinning you to the mattress or one of the tables in the Mostro Lounge and just wrapping his hands around your throat while he rearranges your insides is very *chef’s kiss* for him. human form is also good for quickies and Floyd is known to seek you out for quickies whenever he’s horny (which is more often than you’d think). he likes it when your cute human legs wrap around him and hold him in place when he’s buried deep inside you. but since he doesn’t have his tail he can’t wrap around you. 

Floyd (eel form) - he’s rough in human form, but in his eel form he’s wrapping around you as tight as possible, burying his dick as deep as possible, and littering your pliable body with scratches and bite marks. you’re basically wrestling in the water; he does not let up and you’ll really have to make sure you’re holding onto a stable surface because he won’t bother holding you above water. he’s probably fucked you in the aquarium after hours in the lounge before, with your body pushed against the glass. you probably made eye contact with Azul or Jade during it and they seemed unfazed as they went about reviewing documents and contracts. :)

#meraki thirsts #twisted chit chat #n/sfw #tw: breeding

[jungkxook]

—hot boy bummer. (m)

⟶ pairing: jungkook x reader 

⟶ genre: fuckboy!jungkook / friends with benefits / friends to lovers + smut  

⟶ words: 14,633

⟶ rating: 18+ 

⟶ summary: when jungkook offers you a proposition of just sex, no strings attached, how can you possibly say no? after all, what are best friends for?

⟶ warnings: kind of a crack fic, sprinkle of angst, way too casual conversations mid-sex, jealous jungkook, slight himbo jungkook tbh (he’s kind of a sweet loveable idiot), he also has a big dick oops, man bun and blonde jungkook to feed my fantasies!, multiple smut scenes!!!, missionary, dry humping, oral sex (m receiving), face fucking, unprotected sex, slight degradation (mostly jungkook hating himself), brief name calling, light choking, sort of praise kink

⟶ note: this was inspired by a number of things but mainly do me by kim petras being on jungkook’s spotify playlist, this tiktok sound, and this tumblr post lol also big thank you to @bratkook​ and @onherwings​ for letting me ramble on about this fic and reigniting my inspo for it 💛

( p.s. i tried to proofread this but if y’all see any typos no u didn’t, thank u <3 )

Being friends with Jungkook meant a myriad of things but mainly that there were hardly ever any boundaries that stood between you and him.

Having known him for most of your life, it was just a quintessential part of yours and his relationship with one another. From high school parties where you drunkenly spewed on his shoes and in his dad’s car after he tried lugging you home (and taking the fall all himself for your sake) to letting him lose his virginity in your bed to some girl you didn’t know because your parents were out of town and his would crucify him on the spot if they had found out; or him discovering your stash of vibrators in your dorm one day, or seeing each other naked more often than was probably necessary, there was nothing that either of you could do that would phase the other at this point even when it maybe, probably, definitely should.

College, and Jungkook’s sudden six pack of hard rock abs, only seemed to amplify the chaos of your friendship. If you’re being honest, the abs are sort of a plus ━ but they brought an air of fuckboy to him that is undeniably there even if he tries to deny it sometimes. You suppose it isn’t all his fault. Jungkook has always been bold and brash, attractively charming. Considering he’s seemingly made it his mission to sleep with every girl on campus before he graduates (undisclosed, if you’re being honest, because he’s never outwardly admitted it but you have a hunch), his confidence somehow hasn’t failed him yet.

But then there’s one night in which you think to yourself briefly: this surely must draw some sort of line.

“What if we, like, had sex?”

Jungkook says this a little too casually from beside you. He’s sat on the couch in his dorm, scrolling aimlessly on his phone, and you’re sprawled out on the remaining space, feet kicked up in his lap. You’re positive he’s drunk but, then again, so are you. The remnant shot glasses of soju you had both started the night with (though you think Jungkook’s had half the bottle himself), and your second glass of wine, are all evidence of that. You’re so absorbed by some anime Jungkook had been watching upon your arrival and refused to change that you almost don’t hear what he says. Almost. You do, however, nearly choke on the gummy bear you’ve just tossed into your mouth.

After a sudden hysterical fit of coughs, you manage to sputter, “Excuse me?”

“Like, hypothetically speaking.” He hardly budges when you turn to gawk at him, as if he’s asking you something as casual as what to eat for dinner or if you could pass him the T.V. remote. “Except, not really hypothetically.”

“You’re joking, right?” You scoff.

Jungkook blinks. “No. Why would I be joking?”

You blink. The longer you stare at him, the quicker you’re able to discern that there’s some sort of earnesty in his words and it slightly concerns you. Suddenly, you’re warm in the face. To distract from that painfully obvious fact, an incredulous laugh bubbles at your lips and you kick one of your feet at his thighs. “Very funny, Koo. Can we change the show now if you’re not even watching it?”

“I’m not joking, Y/N.” The severity in his tone makes you sit up at once. When you turn to look at him, he flashes you a taunting smirk, though the devious sparkle in his eyes lets you know this seems to be anything but a joke to him. “I’m sure you’ve thought of me naked before.”

“You’re such a fucking idiot━” Okay, so maybe you have thought of him naked before but how is it your fault when you literally have seen him naked before, and he’s so unabashed around you? “Should I bring you to a hospital to get your head checked, or━?”

“Just hear me out━” Now, he pushes himself to the edge of the sofa. “Why are you here right now?”

“In life? Because I honestly have no clue━”

“No, I meant here. Getting drunk in my apartment on a Friday night instead of getting railed.”

“Okay, I didn’t ask to get called out like that,” You grumble stiffly. “And because you’re my best friend, and I like spending time with you.” It’s not entirely a lie, because you would much rather spend time with Jungkook than anyone else. But when you feel his eyes boring into you in a look of scrutiny, your lips form into a pout which you try to hide by puckering them. “Also because boys are stupid and Hoseok’s blind date stood me up. Again.”

The events from hours earlier resurface in your memory, in which you had spent all evening making yourself look pretty for a boy you had only talked to through text that your roommate had introduced you to, only to arrive to the restaurant you were supposed to be meeting at and waiting there for half an hour by yourself before the boy had sent you a message saying something along the lines of “something came up, hope we can reschedule,” filing it under one of the lamest excuses you’ve ever heard because it hardly even borders on a valid excuse. It’s what had ultimately made you storm into Jungkook’s apartment an hour ago, exclaiming aloud as a greeting with a simple yet scarily cheerful I hate men! because Jungkook knows all about your plights with finding a significant other (or even just someone decent enough to open your legs to), usually lamenting men’s inability to have any emotions. Even the ones who you think are respectable enough, who say they’re fine not having sex on the first date, usually tend to flee right after you finally let them in because sex, as you come to find, seems to be all that men care about.

Admittedly, Jungkook is not any different.

“But it’s not like you’re any better.”

This seems to personally offend Jungkook. He looks at you cynically. “Me?”

“Tell me why you’re here with me on a Friday night when you’re literally one of the hottest guys on campus,” You point out. “You can get any girl, and yet you somehow manage to ruin it every single time. Like with Eunha.”

Jungkook winces. The poor Eunha in question is a pretty girl from your chem class, whomst Jungkook had somehow managed to charm. From what you know, they had hooked up a handful of times before that fateful night in which Jungkook had abruptly broken things off with her. If you’re being honest, he’s not a total monster. The only thing that seems to scare him away is when a girl asks to cuddle him in the morning or talks about the prospective future together. He doesn’t want to hurt them, he told you once before, and finds it much easier to nip any potential relationship in the bud before it can get too far, too out of control.

“We literally only slept together three times anyway and we never went out,” Jungkook points out. “What’s the big deal?”

A roll of your eyes doesn’t go unnoticed by Jungkook. “Yeah, it’s not her fault you’re scared of commitment.”

“Nu’uh,” The boy sulks. “I’m only scared of realistic things, like microwaves.”

A snort bubbles at your lips, and it’s frustrating how adorable he finds the simple action. Rather than entertain the thought of his irrational fear of kitchen appliances (because you’ve heard it all before, and you still can’t find where he was incited with the terror of an exploding microwave), you sit up.

“Jungkook, I don’t even like you like that.”

“I don’t like you like that either. That’s why it’s so perfect!” Jungkook says brightly. “Look, we know each other better than anyone else ever could. We’re already comfortable with each other. We don’t have to go through all that boring small talk. All I’m saying is we could give it a try. No relationship, no emotions, just sex.”

You consider the thought for a moment, weigh the pros and cons in your head.

The cons? He’s your best friend.

The pros? He’s your best friend, and he’s hot.

Truthfully, your slightly buzzed mind can find very little to dissuade you away from the inviting proposition and maybe that’s why you begin to entertain the idea. And, sure, you had just complained profusely about how men sometimes only used you for sex, but it’s not like you don’t have needs too. You just don’t have the gusto in you anymore to spend days on a boy who will only just leave you the moment you let him have sex with you. At least with Jungkook, he’s already offering you a blatant deal of sex only and you know you won’t have to worry about him breaking your heart; and he doesn’t have to worry about the dreaded dreamy post-sex cuddle talk of a future family and babies and a white picket-fence home. It’s a win-win for the both of you, really. Or maybe you’re just telling yourself that.

“How would we even start?” You ask finally. “I mean… Do you even find me attractive enough in that way?”

“Yeah.” Jungkook hardly bats a lash. He meets your stare, licks slowly at his lower lip. When he sees the cross look of disbelief scrunching at your face, he hastens to respond. “I’m not blind. You’re fucking drop dead gorgeous, Y/N.”

“But physically attractive? I’m no hot girl Eunha.”

“If I wanted Eunha, I’d be between her legs right now. Y/N, of course I think you’re attractive.” A gentle sliver of a smile dances upon his lips. He leans his head on the back of the couch, eyes fluttering over your appearance shortly. “I’ve always liked your lips, and your eyes. Think they’re beautiful.”

Suddenly, you’re flustered again. The room feels as if it’s getting increasingly warmer, yet you seem to want to bask in the feeling and attention a little longer. “That’s too sentimental.”

“It’s true though.”

“Well, you’re lucky I’ve always had a thing for idiots,” You jest playfully. “Jerks, too. Playboys who are too hot for their own good.”

“Ah, and I love it when you talk dirty to me.” A cheeky grin tugs at his lips as he clutches at his heart over his chest. “It’s a good thing I like it a little too much, knowing you’ll always keep me in check.”

But then the mirth seems to fade from your mind long enough for you to hum aloud pensively, “And I’ve always liked your eyes. I’ve never seen such big eyes before. Sometimes, if I look long enough, it’s like I can see the stars in them.”

As you’re speaking about them, his irises glisten magnificently. He bites at his lip now, as if to hide the way his soft smile turns sheepish. “I like your bum.”

“Really? I always worry it’s too flat.”

“Are you kidding? Your ass is a fucking god-send. It’s hard not to stare when you wear leggings sometimes,” Jungkook admits, earning a small giggle from you. “And I like your boobs. I’ve always wondered…” He trails off abruptly, shaking his head. He shoots you an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. I’ll stop. I’m being an idiot, aren’t I?”

“Well, maybe I don’t want you to stop.”

Silence saturates the room now, settling comfortably between the two of you. He wonders what you’re thinking, and you wonder if he can hear your heart hammering against your chest. Perhaps on any other day when you were of sound mind, you could find a plethora of reasons as to why sleeping with your best friend was a terrible idea. But being that you were slightly tipsy, and Jungkook isn’t far off, you can find not one fault, except for maybe how tragically hot Jungkook looks sitting across from you and how he’s never been yours, at least in that way. Would it be so wrong to try just once?

You shift then, pushing yourself to your knees if only so you can worm your way towards him before swinging one leg over his. You settle back on his lap, hands gripping his shoulders. He can feel your core press against the inside of his thigh, just where his dick is nestled and he has to bite back a moan. His eyes are wider than usual, as if believing the moment to be surreal, though something sultry threatens to darken them.

“Y/N…”

The excitement crackles through your veins like electricity. You’ve never been in such a compromising position with Jungkook before, and you wonder if it should be concerning just how much you’re enjoying it. It almost feels as if time slows down, every second dragging on, yet he can’t look away. His hands come to tug at your hoodie (that he’s almost positive was his once upon a time before you nicked it from his closet) and you meet him part way, replacing his efforts as you pull it up and off your body. Then, you’re sitting back on his lap in your full nude glory, chest bare and right in his face. He eyes the swell of your breasts, the perk of your nipples. Of course you’re not wearing anything beneath your hoodie ━ and, god, he loves it.

“Touch me?”

Your voice comes to him in an almost dream. You reach for his hand then, your palm soft around his knuckles and the tattoos that ink his skin. It’s the same hand of which he wears the other half to your pair of friendship bracelets in one of his favourite colours of red, decorated with little pink hearts. It came in a matching set of two (yours in your own favourite colour, currently on the wrist of the hand you’re using to guide Jungkook’s), cute little macrame braid ones with hearts woven into the design that you had pointed out one day while you were both at the mall and he had bought without any hesitation mostly as a joke but resulted in both of you wearing them on a daily basis.

Now, all he can do is continue watching you with bated breath as you guide his hand right where you both want him. He comes to cup the underside of one of your breasts, your hand over his pressing his fingers tighter together until you can feel some sort of pleasant pressure. And, just like that, something feral and needy seems to snap within him. His hand slithers from your grasp if only so he can flick his thumb across your nipple, mesmerized by the softness of it. He’s only ever seen you naked once before and it was fleeting. You were both drunk, skinny dipping in a lake with a handful of other friends, but it had been too dark to notice much else. But now? Now, he can see all of you and the sight strikes a chord right down to his dick.

“You’re fucking beautiful,” Jungkook groans.

“Koo.” The cute little nickname you had given him sounds dirty now as it slips from your lips in a moan. “Too sentimental.”

But Jungkook isn’t listening because you really, really, really are so beautiful. He bows his head to your chest, catching one of your nipples in his mouth. He murmurs something against your chest that sounds akin to, “We can take things slow.”

“Slow…” Your head is spinning, but it’s a delightful sensation. Something hard pokes against your ass now, and the adrenaline only seems to build within you. It’s odd how everything feels so foreign ━ exploring his body and these newfound feelings like the uncharted territory it is ━ yet secure and safe at the same time. As if you know what to do next, where to touch next, how to move, your bodies almost fitting together like pieces to a puzzle. “Y-Yeah, I like that. Can I move?”

“Fuck, yes, please,” he growls. He’s much too busy nipping and sucking at the sensitive skin on your chest, teeth tugging at your nipple.

You hurry to obey, giving a small experimental swivel of your hips that almost immediately has the both of your inhaling a sharp breath of air. His dick strains against his sweatpants, the material doing very little in protecting him against you. Your core throbs as you rub yourself on him.

“Like this?” You rasp.

“Yeah, just like that.” Jungkook’s head rolls back onto the couch, his eyes squeezing shut and his blonde hair spilling into his eyes. He clenches his jaw, the nerves fluttering in the corner, as pure euphoria riddles his features. You don’t think you’ve ever seen anything so sexy. “Fuck, we probably shouldn’t be doing this.”

“Yeah,” You agree, breathless. “Do you wanna stop?”

“No. Do you?”

“No.”

“Thank god.” The sigh of relief that emits from Jungkook startles even him but, in the heat of the moment, he doesn’t register how any of this could be a mistake. “Ah, shit━ Faster━”

“Mmm, Koo━” You whimper as you quicken your pace, the vulgar harbored thought of his dick in you thrilling you to no end.

“Fuuck, I’ve never heard you sound like this before. So needy, so desperate,” Jungkook grunts, his fingers digging into your hips. And it’s all because of him, the way you’re feeling. He’s never wanted to hurry to please you faster, itching to tear you apart if he’ll get to hear those noises from you again and again. “I━”

He’s gonna cum, and he’s not even in your pussy. What’s gotten into him?  

He presses you a little harsher against his dick, sitting up straighter so that his chest is pressed flush against yours. He leans forward, lips chasing after yours, before you pull back just enough sluggishly to press your finger to his mouth.

“Uh uh. No kissing,” You rasp.

The words process in Jungkook’s head, but the weight of them don’t seem to linger in his daze. He’s far too overwhelmed by you and the way you’re making him feel to even begin to try to decipher why you avoid his mouth and so, for now, he doesn’t care. Instead, he buries his face in the crook of your neck, nose nuzzling against your throat. You clutch at his hair, tugging at the roots tight enough for him to moan.

“Nnngh, Jungkook━” You whine. “I’m gonna━ Oh, fuck, Koo━”

And then you’re unravelling, right in his very arms. He holds you close as you tremble and shake, rutting your hips sloppily against his to ride out your high, and Jungkook thinks he can definitely get used to this. The familiar burn forms in his stomach and, without even thinking of it, he comes in the confinements of his pants.

But in the heat of the moment, he doesn’t notice quite a lot of things. Neither do you.

So, maybe you could both find a hundred and one reasons why having sex with your best friend would surely cross some lines, but the thing with you and Jungkook (and what would eventually blossom into a hubristic relationship of sorts) is that it wasn’t just sex. You would always be comfortable around him, as he would be with you. And nothing could ever possibly get weird between the two of you ━ not when you had both made a promise to each other that it wouldn’t get in the way of your friendship.

Because ━ while, yeah, he’s hot and suffers from fuckboy tendencies from time-to-time and, aside from random late night hookups ━ he was still the same boy that would drag you out at three in the morning to drive to the next city over for a bowl of ramen, who would marathon shows as long as One Piece or Game of Thrones with you, watching as much as you can in one all-nighter; who would come to your dorm, no matter the time of day, the moment you said you were sick or suffering from cramps, piled high with your favourite snacks; who shared a repertoire of silly inside jokes with you that never made any sense to anyone but the both of you; who insisted you both wear friendship bracelets even in college. He would always be an angel to you, treat you well, because you meant that much to him.

A small thought in the back of Jungkook’s head wonders, above all else, if you were anyone different, would he have even bothered suggesting such a ludicrous idea, drunk or not?

Because he’s positive no one else could make him cum in his pants like a horny prepubescent teen ━ no one except for you.

“If we’re really gonna do this, we need to set some ground rules.”

Admittedly, neither you nor Jungkook knew what would happen after Jungkook’s proposition to you. Maybe you were expecting the two of you to pretend as if nothing had ever happened, or laugh it off as something so inconsequential that neither of you should bother worrying about it. Instead, the very next day, you find that you’re back in Jungkook’s dorm. Only this time, you’re in his bed, and he spent the past half hour sufficiently eating you out.

Now, you’ve had an epiphany in the form of Jungkook’s dick, and that is that it’s big.

You’ve seen it before on occasion ━ like when he streaked nude across campus as a dare or when he needed to use your shower because his apartment was under maintenance and he walked out on you in the living room ━ but this is clearly a very different circumstance. All red, swollen, angry tip wet and glistening with precum. You had to brace yourself as he pushed himself into you, cautiously and slowly, enjoying the way you stretch to fit around him. If you had a drunken excuse the night before for loving the thought of getting off with Jungkook, then you surely don’t have one now. It’s a shameless guilty pleasure, you think, that he’s at least indulging in.

“Rules,” Jungkook scoffs now. “You’re such a nerd. Fuck, you feel so fucking good━ You doing okay?”

More than. Your head lolls back against his pillow, eyes nearly rolling to the back of your head. “Mhm.”

“Want a minute?”

“Maybe.”

Jungkook pauses without any hesitation, gnawing on his lower lip as your walls clench around him so tightly he feels he might fall apart then and there. His hands are on your hips, thumbs rubbing comforting circles against your burning skin. A few deep breaths later and you’re probing Jungkook to move again. His hips rut into yours at a leisure pace, and he marvels for a moment at the way his dick disappears into your pussy, slick and wet with your own arousal. The thought of being in you ━ of finally feeling your walls wrapped around him, all wet and snug ━ is enough to make him bust then and there, but he refrains miraculously.

“Holy fuck,” You groan. “Why are you so big━”

Your voice cuts off into a delightful whimper, walls aching around him. Jungkook snorts, burrowing his face in the crook of your neck. “Nothing sexier than hearing you stroke my ego.”

“Don’t let it get to your already big head,” You retort sluggishly.

“Big head!” he grumbles against your throat, lips brushing faintly against your skin and sending shivers down your spine. “Insult me some more. You know how it gets me going.”

“Oh my god, shut up. Where were we?”

“Rules.”

“Right,” You breathe in a sharp inhale of air as he grinds against your hips. “And rule number one is no kissing. That’s way too intimate.”

Jungkook quirks a brow. “How is kissing more intimate than having my dick in you?”

“It just is.” You refuse to tell him the truth. You poke your fingers at his sides, causing him to jerk against you. “Don’t question it.”

“Fine. Then no sentimental shit in general, like cuddling or pet names,” Jungkook retorts. “And no public displays of affection.”

“Okay,” You nod. “Fuck, Jungkook━”

“God, I love hearing you moan my name,” Jungkook grunts. He watches with fascination the way your face reacts at his every movement. “Too much?”

“No. Kinda hot,” You admit. An abrupt thought pops into your head that has you murmuring hazily, “Oh, and you can’t have sex with me to your sex playlist.”

Jungkook looks appalled. The sex playlist in question is one you’ve heard briefly before, if only because you’ve walked in on Jungkook and his flavour of the month a handful of times one too many times.

“So you’re telling me you don’t want to have the best orgasm of your life to The Weeknd or the Neighbourhood? WAP?” Jungkook asks, wriggling his brows suggestively. “Alanis Morissette?” You have less than half a second to register the 90s pop singer as out of place before Jungkook breaks out into song with a brief rendition of Head over Feet. “You’re my best friend, best friend with benefits━!”

Part of you knows he’s joking, but there’s still a small sliver of you that makes you gawk at him dubiously before dissolving into a fit of unabashed laughter. It rumbles against his chest, vibrates his dick in you. “You’re not serious, are you? That’s not actually in your sex playlist, is it?”

He flashes you a shit-eating grin. “Guess you’ll never know now.”

Another roll of your eyes makes him snicker. He’s gotten used to your snide remarks, but he’ll gladly keep suffering under them if he gets to wipe that taunting smirk off your face each time with the way his dick makes you feel. You cling a little tighter to his shoulders and muse aloud, “So that’s it then?”

“Yeah━” Jungkook knows you’re referring to the rules and your plan, although it’s getting harder to focus on talking as he continues to grind against you. “And nothing has to change between us, even if we stop. We’re still just two best friends.”

“Yup.”

“Who have sex from time to time.”

“Yeah.”

He can’t help himself. He tries again. “Who might kiss.”

“Nope.” You’re smiling even despite the way you shoot him an aggravated stare first.

“We might?”

“No, we definitely won’t.”

Worth a shot, he thinks to himself. At least you really do always keep him in check.

After all, what are best friends for?

So, maybe a part of you thought the shift in your relationship with Jungkook wouldn’t last very long. A week at most, and maybe Hoseok would find you another pointless let down of a blind date to go on and Jungkook would get horny for some other girl ━ but it’s certainly been more than a week now, and you’ve had sex with him more than two times.

A third, and a fourth, if you’re being blatantly honest, and maybe a few more times after that but you don’t really remember what count you’re both on now which should probably be concerning. Days elapse into days, which turn to weeks, then months. Morning, afternoon, and night.

It’s not as if you hadn’t already spent almost every waking moment with Jungkook but now you had a reason to be at his apartment at any and all hours of the day and not solely for movie watching marathons. You’re positive he’s still having his occasional random flings, though you’re fortunate his commitment issues at least force him to go to their homes rather than his for the most part, so you never really have to witness half-naked girls stumbling out of his apartment just as you’re wandering in. He says it has something to do with how his bedroom is his sacred space, though you think it’s more like he wouldn’t want his hook ups discovering his Overwatch figurines or something (because, before Jungkook’s proposition, you’ve walked in on him once and a girl when they were entangled on the couch in his living room).

But you’ve noticed lately you’re getting too comfortable with your arrangement with Jungkook; too comfortable knowing he’ll be there at the end of a long day to greet you, to please you until you’re crying out his name. Sometimes he tells you about the girls he’s texting, or shows you a picture from a hot girl’s Instagram whose D.M.s he’s just slid into. And sometimes you’re left wondering how often he comes straight to you after hooking up with a random girl.

It shouldn’t matter to you, and you swear that it doesn’t.

Maybe you’re just overthinking things. Hoseok certainly seems to think so, but his judgement wasn’t much to go by.

Because, lately, Hoseok has been encouraging you more and more to give Yukhei (the blind date Hoseok had initially set you up with when you found yourself at Jungkook’s) another chance for two reasons: 1) “Yukhei’s a nice boy,” he had cheerfully reminded you, “he’ll treat you well,” and 2) “Stop fucking your best friend. It’s morally wrong.”

There were many things wrong with his statement, from the fact that you didn’t exactly consider standing up a date as “nice” and that you were also still begrudgingly lamenting the way Hoseok had discovered your recent fling with Jungkook (although, you weren’t being very inconspicuous, having shower sex with Jungkook early one morning when you were certain Hoseok would be spending the day at his fiance’s home instead of yours).

But then you meet Yukhei and you realize that, oh crap, he’s cute. And he’s nice.

As it turns out, after bumping into him one day when you’re with Hoseok lounging on the quad of your campus and he comes bounding over to return a textbook Hoseok had lent him for a specific class, Yukhei is so easily charming. He also gives a pretty valid excuse for flaking on your date, proving that he had to present his dissertation, making you clearly aware that he’s cute, nice, and smart. Jungkook, on the other hand, doesn’t see the appeal, yet his curiosity and intrigue seems to get the best of him.

“So that was your blind date?” Jungkook asks after grabbing your attention on the quad and stealing you away from Hoseok and Yukhei. “Yukhei?”

“You know him?”

“Seen him around,” Jungkook shrugs nonchalantly. “I’ve never really talked to him. But him? You’re not telling me you’re actually interested in him, are you?”

“I don’t know. Maybe,” You’re truly just as clueless about your feelings towards Yukhei as Jungkook seems to be. “What’s so wrong about him?”

“He’s━” Jungkook stops. He shakes his head. “Heard he’s got a small dick anyway.”

You shoot the boy a wary look, only to find him grinning deviously at himself. “Maybe he just wants to be friends.”

At this, Jungkook lets out a scoffing sound that borders on disbelieving laughter. “No, I definitely think he wants to have sex with you in his Toyota Camry, Y/N, but what do I know?”

“You’re not jealous, are you?”

“No, why would I be jealous?”

You can’t quite tell if he’s angry or not but, then again, why would he be? As far as either of you are concerned, there’s nothing to be jealous of.

So then why does it feel like he’s simply just telling himself that?

“Are you seriously on your phone right now?”

Jungkook asks this from somewhere behind you a handful of days later, a little peeved but most likely because your jarring 8:00 a.m. alarm had roused the both of you violently awake. In his defense, Jungkook is not a morning person.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” You’re currently sprawled out on your hands and knees on his bed, phone still in your grasp after having plucked it off the nightstand in haste. Your clothes are scattered across the floor of his room, remnant clues of the night before when he had beckoned you over after hours, and your body is covered in nothing but hickeys and an unbuttoned blue flannel belonging to Jungkook that you had chucked on last night that does nothing in covering up the swell of your breasts which Jungkook is now currently eyeing. “Am I not giving you enough attention? Were you expecting cuddles or something? Thought that wasn’t in the rules.”

“No,” Jungkook huffs. He runs a hand through his long messy hair in an attempt to fix it; he ultimately gives up taming his locks, instead using the hair tie around his wrist to tie his hair back into a cute yet sexy little ponytail. As he does so, you notice the red friendship bracelet around his wrist and smile smally. “But my dick could use some cuddles. Preferably with your mouth, but it will also gladly accept your hand.”

Jungkook may not be a morning person but, as you’ve come to realize, his dick certainly is.

It’s painfully obvious too, his hardened length straining against the gray sweatpants he had thrown on at some point. And, god, did he have to wear those? It left little to the imagination, the outline of his length teasing you just enough.

“I should get going,” You say. “I have a test coming up. There’s supposed to be a review session today in class, and I don’t want to miss it.”

“Well, you don’t seem like you’re in a rush since you’re still on your phone,” Jungkook points out. “Who are you texting anyway? Yukhei?”

“Anger is an emotion,” You rebuke casually. “So is jealousy.”

Jungkook feigns a look of mock hurt. “I’m not angry or jealous! I’m needy.”

Still, Jungkook reaches out to swiftly pluck your phone from your hands.

“Jungkook━!”

He’s pressed up against your back in an instant, his dick hard against your ass, and he doesn’t move very far even when you twist in your spot in an attempt to grab your phone back. You don’t, and instead you end up on your back with him on his side, propped up on his elbow. You miss when he casts a swift gaze down at your phone, only to see that Yukhei’s chat messages are indeed open, and something seems to gnaw terribly at his gut before he tosses your phone to the side. He’s looking at you now with those big beautiful eyes of his, and you hate it.

“Please?” he beckons. He ruts his hips impatiently but slowly against your leg. He drops his head to bury his face in the crook of your neck, lips dangerously close to brushing against your flesh but he refrains somehow. “M’so hard right now, could probably bust the moment you touch me.”

The thought is tempting, having a helpless Jungkook cumming in your hands. The sight alone has quickly become your favourite thing, helping the frustrated boy get off. Besides, you’re certain you could ask Hoseok for the review notes.

Fuck it, you cave.

You fidget until you’ve pressed him back against the bed and have clambered on top of him, wiggling your way down to fit between his legs. Jungkook is watching you now with a half-asleep expression, though his teeth sink into his lower lip as you pull at his sweatpants until they’re down at his thighs, letting his swollen dick spring free.

“You know━” You hum. You reach out to grab at the base of his cock. “Yukhei wants to hang out, and Hoseok keeps telling me to give it a shot.”

That much is true. Part of you wants to say yes, if only because Yukhei seems promising enough, but the thought alone is enough for you to feel as if you’ve done something horribly wrong to Jungkook.

“Oh.” The word eclipses Jungkook’s mouth in a shallow breath of air. Then, your mouth wraps around the puffy head of his dick, shining with leaking precum that you swallow back, and Jungkook’s reaction is immediate. Head thrown back, face scrunching together, muscles in his toned abdomen flexing as he seizes and grunts aloud. “Oh, fuck━ Well… Are you gonna?”

Jungkook asks the last question with much difficulty, and a part of him thinks it doesn’t all have to do with how you’re making him feel.

“Dunno.” You snort around his dick, and he marvels at how adorable such a lewd action can seem.

You decide to focus on sucking him off because it truly is a sexy sight to see, letting the topic of Yukhei drop. Jungkook certainly doesn’t mind. As you swirl your tongue around his tip and reach up with your free hand to fondle at his balls, his long hair falls into his lashes but he still tries to find you past his wild locks, hooded eyes gazing down at you.  

“Ah, shit━” Jungkook hisses delightfully, hips jerking forward instinctively into your mouth. The faintest hints of a drowsy smirk tug at his lips. “Fuck, yes, just like that.”

Yeah, you think to yourself then, you’re definitely going to ride him later. Screw going to class.

From: Jungkook Sent: 1:05 a.m.

bro i noticed u werent wearing our friendship bracelet while u were giving me head earlier. is everything ok??

You wake in the morning to a single text from Jungkook ━ and one you had not been expecting.

That’s not to say that getting the occasional text message from Jungkook at any and all hours of the day was abnormal, but the extent of his messages sent anywhere past midnight usually always range from something more coherent in the form of “what would u do if i was there rn?” to something exuding typical lazy Jungkook manner with a simple “dtf?” or “send noods lol” to something even more provocatively cryptic such as the eggplant and splashing water (or, as far as Jungkook is concerned, something else entirely) emojis and nothing else, left open for your own interpretation that typically, usually, without a doubt, results in you in his bed and his dick in you. But this seems to be something else entirely.

Unfortunately, Jungkook’s text isn’t the only concern of yours.

Hoseok has spent the better part of the morning giving you a lecture on why having sex with your best friend is bad. He seems so passionate about the topic that you’re certain he would have pulled out a powerpoint at any moment, each slide ending in a picture of Yukhei and why you should maybe try fucking him instead, if you entertained the idea a little longer. Hoseok claims it’s just a harmless date. Yukhei might be a nice boy, but you don’t know how you feel about him. You don’t want to lead him on, and a scary thought points out the fact that maybe, while Yukhei is a nice boy, he isn’t Jungkook.

“I don’t get why you don’t just give Yukhei a chance━” Hoseok is saying now, sat on the couch in your shared apartment with him. “It’s not like you have to marry him. I don’t think one date will hurt━ Aaand, you’re not even listening to me anymore, are you?”

The sheepish look on your face is enough of an answer for him. You’ve been anxiously eyeing your phone and the text Jungkook had sent you last that you’ve yet to respond to, even despite being awake for more than a few hours now.

“Yes, I am listening,” You say dismissively. “Something about how one date won’t hurt, but that’s what you said when Yoongi asked you out, and you’re literally engaged now.”

The glistening metallic ring on Hoseok’s finger is evidence enough. The boy looks down at it as if seeing it for the first time, purses his lips, and then nods in agreement. “Okay, yeah, maybe you’re right. But you’re holding out for Jungkook and for what? He’s hot, yeah, and he’s your best friend, sure, but at the end of the day he’s still just a horny male who wants to stick his dick in anything that moves.”

“Hoseok.” Your grumbling sigh is interrupted by the motion of your phone vibrating against your thigh once more. You peek at the screen fleetingly to see a new text.

From: Jungkook Sent: 2:35 p.m.

send n00ds?

miss ur tits :(

Typical Jungkook.

The text from the night before is all but seemingly forgotten from his mind, and you can’t quite tell if you’re devastated or relieved. You don’t have very long to discern which emotion you’re feeling when Hoseok snatches your phone to look at what’s gotten your attention before exclaiming suddenly, “Aha! See! What did I say?”

“It’s not like that,” You wave Hoseok off. “Jungkook treats me well. He respects me, and I’m comfortable with him.”

“And how long until whatever this is━” He gestures vaguely to your phone as if to point out your relationship with Jungkook, “has to end? Do you really think a pinky promise is going to make sure your friendship with him isn’t totally ruined? I mean, how can you continue being casual friends with someone, see them dating someone else, when they’ve had their dick in you?”

You know it makes sense. Realistically, you either stop sleeping with each other or it potentially develops into something more. But in both circumstances, what were the chances that either of you didn’t get your heart broken? Maybe a part of you was apprehensive of Jungkook finding the “right” person for him one day that has him ending things with you, and while you swear you’d be happy for him, relationships sometimes have a way of distracting people from those already around them. Were you prepared to have someone take him away from you, platonically and whatever it is else that you have with him? Did you really think you could just keep being friends with him, as if nothing ever occurred between you two?

You don’t think Jungkook is bothered worrying about the state of your friendship with him, much less overthinking it like you seem to be. It shouldn’t be a big deal ━ yet why was there still that terrible nagging voice in the back of your mind? Whether or not Hoseok is right, you don’t want to find out. You don’t have feelings for Jungkook anyway.

But your ability to bend at his every will is certainly interesting.

You grab your phone before Hoseok can do any serious damage like unlocking it and responding to Jungkook, clutching it to your chest as you start to cross the living room. The other boy looks at you in bewilderment. “Where are you going now?”

“Where does it look?” You call over your shoulder just before you disappear into the bathroom, and Hoseok deduces all at once that you’re truly a lost cause. “I need to send him a picture of my boobs.”

“He’s totally into you, Y/N.”

Admittedly, there were many mundane but essentially weird things you’ve talked to Jungkook about while having sex. You’ve had many heated debates about everything under the sun from whether or not pineapple on pizza should be illegal to top five betrayals in either movies or animes, to passionate grand philosophical discussions about what exists outside of the universe.

It’s not as if you had been planning on talking about Yukhei to Jungkook when he had invited you over to his apartment late at night after sending your risqué boob picture to him but, like many things in your friendship with Jungkook, it sort of just happened. He had asked you how your day was and you had decided to broach the topic experimentally, though you think deep down you’re doing it on purpose to see if he’d react in any way. What started with you mentioning Hoseok’s adamance and you sort of genuinely asking Jungkook for advice on Yukhei somehow evolved into Jungkook interrogating you on whether or not you’ve hung out with him yet.

“Jungkook. You’re getting off topic,” You admonish him now, as if your own choice of topic is any better when his dick is currently in you.

Jungkook is wedged between your thighs smushed up against your chest, large palms holding you on your ribcage in place beneath him. He’s a comfortable heavy draped over top of you, cock stretching you wide. You can feel his heart hammering against yours and he’s slick with sweat, golden hair clinging to his forehead and in his pretty eyes. You resist the urge to reach out and brush the messy locks away but, again, how would that be any less intimate of an action than what you’re already doing? Another line uncrossed, you suppose.

“How am I off topic?” Jungkook retorts. “You literally just said you can’t tell if he’s into you but he dropped by when you were done class and bought you lunch. You don’t just do that for a girl you don’t care that much about.”

“You buy me lunch, like, every day,” You point out.

“Because you’re my best friend. Of course I care about you,” Jungkook says.

“Ah, Jungkook━” You curse suddenly, grabbing his attention when you shift your weight beneath him. “You’re crushing me. Why’d you stop moving?”

He doesn’t have an answer, if only because he hadn’t even realized he’d stop moving in the first place. Without hesitation, he continues leisurely rutting his hips against yours, grabbing at one of your legs to hook it around his waist. This new angle lets you feel even more of him as he sinks further into you, if that was even still possible, reaching so far into you that you swear it’s like you can feel him in your stomach. Your head lolls back against the pillows, pure euphoria contorting your face so much so to the point that it distracts you entirely from the distant look glazing over Jungkook’s eyes.

“Yukhei definitely wants to bang,” he huffs under his breath.

At once, an exasperated groan fills his ears.

“I can’t believe we’re seriously having this conversation right now,” You roll your eyes, fingers prodding at his sides. “I don’t wanna talk about Yukhei potentially wanting to have sex with me.”

Jungkook’s glad you said it, at least. Though now he’s watching you with hooded eyes as he thrusts into you a little harder, maybe a little intentionally. His indulgent gaze droops to your breasts, admiring the way they bounce beneath him each time his hips make contact with yours. He thinks back earlier in the day to the picture you had sent him which, really, had sparked the mood for the rest of the night.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he whines abruptly. His eyes screw shut and brows furrow together as your walls clench around him. He drops his head to bury his face in your chest, lips momentarily wrapping around one of your nipples as he sucks harshly at the soft flesh. When he speaks next, forehead still resting against your collarbones, his voice is a breathless croak, “Well, do you like him?”

“No,” You moan. ��Maybe━ Fuck, Koo━ I don’t know.”

“He’s gonna be at that party Tae’s throwing, isn’t he?” Jungkook tries to focus, but it’s becoming increasingly harder to do so when he’s inching closer and closer to his high. “Shit, ah, Y/N━ Why don’t you try talking to him or something? See how the night goes?”

“He’s nice but I don’t think he’s the one for me,” You admit sheepishly. “I think I’m just gonna end things while I still can, with as little harm as possible.”

“Well, glad that’s settled,” Jungkook mumbles. “Can we please stop talking about Yukhei now?”

You seem to miss the way he clings to you a little tighter, hands flying down to grip at your hips, nails digging crescent moon shapes into your skin. He snaps his hips into yours a little faster this time, your pussy throbbing around him.

“Nngh, Jungkook━”

Your hands fumble to grip at his hair, tugging tightly at the roots and earning a delightful hiss from the boy. Your own mouth drops open in a silent moan and it’s a wonder he doesn’t combust at just how sexy the sight is. He hates how his eyes stay trained on the shape of your lips, the soft plumpness of them. He’s felt them wrapped around his dick plenty of times before but he concedes that it’s probably hardly anywhere near to how it would feel to kiss you. Like actually kiss you, tongue and all.

God, what’d he give just to smother your lips with his.

And, god, he hopes you never find out. He’s positive that thought is far more scandalous alone than anything you’ve ever done together.

You’re writhing beneath him now, hips jutting forward desperately to meet his. “I’m gonna cum, Jungkook━”

“Fuck, yes,” Jungkook growls. “Wanna feel you cream around my cock so bad. Come on, baby━”

In the heat of the moment, you seem to miss the pet name that slurs off his tongue and the sentiment in it. A few more jolting slams of his hips and you’re tumbling over the edge. He has to sputter for air when he feels your pussy wrapping so tightly around him, stuttering in his pace above you if only to watch as you unravel beneath him. Hooded dark eyes glazed over in that perfect fucked out expression he loves so much, teeth biting at your lower lip so hard he wonders if it’ll bruise in the morning.

A sudden thought pops into his head when you’ve settled enough, amongst the blinding pure white of bliss that clouds his thoughts. “Did you get my text by the way? The one I sent last night?”

You gasp for air. The bracelet on your wrist itches at the mention of it, and you’re fortunate you decided to wear it that afternoon before coming to Jungkook’s. “Y-Yeah━”

“Well…?”

“Everything’s fine,” You say this as dismissively as you can. Your core is still vibrating after the harsh impact of your orgasm paired with Jungkook’s swollen length still in you. “I just… I was taking a shower and didn’t want to get it wet. I forgot to put it back on in the morning.”

That’s a lie. You had mostly taken it off as part of an experiment, though it hasn’t answered much. At least Jungkook doesn’t seem to realize that.

“Oh,” Jungkook breathes. A beat of silence passes, before he deadpans cockily, “Wait, you were taking a shower and I wasn’t invited?”

“Oh my god, shut up━” Maybe if he hadn’t just currently driven you to nirvana and back, you’d notice the way the sloppy grin on his face is a simple taunt. But you’re much too distracted to care. Instead, you use your leg that’s still hooked around his waist to gently push and roll him onto his back so that you can straddle his hips. His eyes sparkle mischievously as he watches you waste no time in hurrying to grind against him at an agonizingly steady pace that makes his head spin. “You’re ruining the moment. I’m trying to make you cum.”

A devious cackle rumbles from his chest, albeit a little contented at the same time. Yeah, he definitely likes the sound of that. “Well then, by all means, don’t let me stop you.”

It’s only then that his question comes back into your mind. If he felt the need to ask you again about the bracelet, maybe that meant something after all. At the very least, it means he hadn’t forgotten about it altogether. On the other hand, you wonder how often he had spent thinking, or over-thinking, the issue in the past twenty-four hours, if at all.

Was it wrong to feel some semblance of joy over that potential fact? Probably.

That doesn’t seem to bother you much this time. Not when he’s gazing up at you as if you’re some divine sexy goddess, all his to enjoy. You can’t help yourself; you reach down to brush the sweaty hair from his eyes, perhaps all too gentle of an action for best friends.

And he smiles, maybe a little too softly and maybe a little too ardently if you look close enough.

He smiles.

The thing about your supposed “rules” with your relationship with Jungkook is that there might be a few loose ends that neither you nor Jungkook pay much attention to sometimes.

But that’s neither here nor there.

Mostly, the “no public displays of affection” clause is easily disregardable. It’s typically when you’re too drunk to remember it and a bit needy, craving one another’s touch, but those around you never truly seem to care or even notice because, if you’re lucky, they’re equally as smashed. Sometimes the “no cuddles” clause blurs into a gray area where it’s simply just you and Jungkook post-sex, sprawled out in his bed, not necessarily wrapped up in one another’s arms and cooing sweet nothings to one another but giggling at nothing in particular except one another as you bask in each other’s company and nothing more. You suppose some rules are meant to be broken.

For the most part, Jungkook never seems to question the no kissing rule you were so adamant in insisting. Not until one night in which you’re left wondering where things go so drastically wrong. It starts off as normally as any other day with you and Jungkook can, spent in his apartment binge watching movies. You hadn’t expected that night to switch as suddenly as it does when Jungkook shoots you a text earlier in the day asking if you want to come to his for a night of casual drinking as simply “best friends.” But, as always, one thing seems to lead to another, and you can’t get enough of Jungkook. Maybe it’s in the way he holds you a little tighter, the way he tugs you onto his lap on the sofa in his living room, the way he grips your thighs with a certain type of insatiable desire.

“You know…” he hums. “You drive me insane. In, like, the best way possible.”

Part of you realizes his actions even without him seeming to, and the drunken smile on your face remaining frozen in place, a little dumbfounded. “Jungkook…”

“When I’m with you…” He lifts his stare to look at you, but you have nothing to say. Neither does he. Instead, you’re left grinning at one another and suddenly your face is warm. He leans towards you, his nose nuzzling against the side of your throat. Your hands stay threaded in his hair now, and he swears he feels you secure your grip as if to pull him closer.

You can feel his lips brush faintly against your skin, grazing along your neck to the underside of your jaw. Up, up, up, until━

It’s just as his mouth meets with the corner of yours that you register what he’s doing, even in your clouded state. You turn your head just in time, and he comes to an immediate halt, his lips barely making contact with your cheek instead before he pulls away. He doesn’t move very far but you also don’t push him away just yet. Instead, you shift your head to look at him, still inches apart from him.

“What are you doing?” You ask. He can’t quite tell if you’re appalled or not, an empty expression staring back at him.

“I━ You━” He fumbles over his words, squeezes his eyes shut. He blames it on the alcohol even though his head is swimming with thoughts that seem to only concern you. But then a fierceness seems to stir within him, one that makes his jaw clench as he meets your stunned stare. The question rolls off his tongue without meaning to. “Is this about Yukhei?”

“What?”

“Is that why you weren’t wearing our bracelet the other day?”

The question is so ridiculous, you have to laugh. “What are you going on about?”

But Jungkook doesn’t see what’s so funny and so he tries again, his persistence taking hold. “Is that why you won’t ever let me kiss you?”

You blink. Then, you’re shaking your head at him. Exasperation hangs heavy in your words, shaping in the form of a tired scoff. “You’re not serious.”

You’ve slithered off of his lap before he can even think to stop you ━ but if he had, would you have even stayed? You’re mad, but he doesn’t know why. “No, I wanna know. Because if what we have is already so meaningless, what makes a kiss any different?”

“Jungkook…”

“So I wanna know,” he says, brows unconsciously knitting together. His gaze is searching yours desperately, as if begging for an answer he’ll want to hear. But he knows he’s being an idiot, a small sober part in him makes him realize that. “Humour me. Have you had sex with him yet?”

“Oh my god. I can’t believe that’s what you’re on about.” Suddenly, you’re frowning. Your hardened stare meets the boy’s and the irritation that scrunches at your face makes him wince, but it’s too late for him to take back the damage that he’s done. “Yeah, Jungkook, we fucked in his stupid Toyota that you hate so much and he choked me and I liked it. He did all sorts of dirty things to me. Is that what you want to hear?” The sardonic tone hisses at his ears, but he bites back his words, the sober part in him doing some decent good by shushing him. “No, Jungkook, we didn’t fuck. We haven’t even gone on a date, and I don’t even know if I want to, and you think I’m throwing myself at him.”

“But you wanna.”

“You’re being an idiot,” You admonish. “I’m going home. Talk to me when you’re sober.”

He has just enough time to watch you turn on your heel, march towards his door, when he scrambles to his feet. The weight of his words and actions finally seem to dawn on him, hitting him harshly in the face and in the heart.

“Fuck, wait! Wait━” he gasps.

He chases after you, hand reaching out to press his palm against the door before you can shimmy it open. He’s fortunate when you turn to look at him, though your arms are folded impatiently over your chest.

“You’re right. I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you mad,” he promises earnestly. Then, he lets out a frustrated groan. “I just… What if we… Shit, what if we stop for right now? Y’know… Hooking up. Whatever this is.”

He gestures vaguely between the two of you with his hands, a wearied look plastering his face.

You hate to admit how his words seem to affect you. They bite at the air, leave you breathless as you gawk at him, but the harsh realization of it all is that you were never his to have and he was never yours. Hoseok had been right when he said these things were bound to come to an end ━ so why did it seem to hurt you so much?

A beat of prolonged silence passes between the two of you. Jungkook runs a hand through his chaotic blonde hair, digging the heel of his palm into his temple as if to rid himself of a headache he’s no doubt sporting. Maybe you’re waiting for a better explanation, but he gives none, and you don’t feel as if you have the right to ask why. He’s not your boyfriend, for god’s sake. It’s not like he’s breaking your heart.

Instead, you take a deep breath and say, “Okay.”

“Okay.” It’s all that he says in return.

So then why does it feel like he is?

When Jungkook had promised that if your fling with him ended you would go back to being untainted best friends, he was apparently lying.

A part of you can’t believe the sheer nerve of him to ghost you in his traditional fuckboy ways, and yet he does. You suppose not entirely, at the very least. Part of it ends up with you being even more vexed by his sudden shift in emotion, and the tangible tension that rises between the two of you should have been dealt with properly, yet neither of you do anything about it, leaving your friendship stagnant and stale for a week. After all, how are you really supposed to go back to “just friends” when you’ve seen his dick one too many times?

You refrain from telling Hoseok, if only so you don’t have to hear him tell you he told you so ━ but you also decide to give Yukhei that one chance, and so you think Hoseok wouldn’t mind so much anyway.

Admittedly, when Yukhei asks to hang with you at Taehyung’s eventual party, you aren’t entirely too keen, but you accept it if only because you heard Jungkook will be there too. For the majority of the night, you don’t see the boy, and you spend the hours cozying up with Yukhei in a conversation that dulls you. As it would appear, it seems to bore Yukhei too, but you only notice that when he starts touching you on your waist and the small of your back. There’s a moment where he leans his head close enough to yours that you realize he’s trying to kiss you, resulting in an awkward encounter in which you push him away, palms on his chest.

“What’s wrong?” he asks. The answer is obvious enough to you, but you don’t think you should tell him for his own dignity. That, instead, all you can imagine is Jungkook in his place. “Should we get out of here?”

“Y/N. Can I talk to you?”

You’re both fortunate yet horrified when you hear Jungkook’s voice. He’s standing just behind you, his own stare devoid of any emotion, though his brows furrow and his jaw clenches in a signature Jungkook manner that you know means he’s pissed. He hardly acknowledges Yukhei, nodding in his general direction. You don’t remember if you leave Yukhei there or if he leaves, or if Jungkook even gives a poor attempt of an excuse to the boy, but you’ve not so much as uttered a single word or let out an exhalation of air, when Jungkook ultimately pulls you off to the side where it’s just you and him once more.

“I’m not sucking your dick in Tae’s grimy bathroom, if that’s what you want,” You scowl once Yukhei is out of earshot. “You’ve lost the privilege that is my mouth.”

“That’s not━” Jungkook shakes his head, exasperated. “That’s not what I want. I just━ I’ll take you home. Please?”

You know the offer is much more than him simply walking you the route to your dorm, which you already know like the back of your hand. Yet, you don’t argue. Truthfully, it’s a relief when Jungkook lugs you out of the party. The entire venture back to your apartment is treacherous, in the way that you’re left sobering up enough to the point that your dizzying thoughts become more coherent. Hoseok is gone for the weekend at least, spending the days with his fiance, so you don’t have to worry about humiliating yourself in front of your roommate when it comes to Jungkook.

You’ve barely made it through your front door when you’re grumbling aloud, “What do you want, Jungkook?”

“I wanna talk,” he says firmly. “About us. About Yukhei.”

“Maybe I don’t want to.” But that’s a lie. Talking to Jungkook, even despite masquerading your annoyance for him, is a blessing in disguise. You’ve missed the idiot, and hearing his voice. “Besides, you told me to give him a chance.”

“And you said you didn’t want to.”

“Maybe I changed my mind.”

“Yeah, you sure seemed like you loved it when he was trying to shove his tongue down your throat,” Jungkook retorts bitterly. “C’mon, Y/N. We both know that’s a lie.”

“You know, you’ve been a real dick lately.”

A sliver of a smirk tugs at Jungkook’s face. “I thought you love dick.”

Clearly, his poor attempt at a joke doesn’t land well with you. “Why do you even care so much if Yukhei and I get together? Stop acting so high and mighty and moral, Jungkook. It’s not like you’re some virgin saint. How many times have I heard you talk about all those girls you’ve fucked? And what was I? Just another notch in your belt this whole time?”

“What?” Jungkook gasps now, as if disbelieving you would ever think such a thing. “No! You’re not just another notch. I would never even think about you that way. And I haven’t had sex with anyone else but you this whole time and I easily could have.”

“Wow! Such a martyr,” You remark dryly. When you speak next, you meet his stare with your own crestfallen gaze. “I just want my best friend back.” Your words hurt him more than you think, but he can’t say he doesn’t deserve it. “You’re the one who tried to kiss me, then suggested we stop whatever it is we’re doing━”

Jungkook flinches. “I know.”

“Then you ignore me for days even though you promised nothing would change━”

“I know,” he says desperately. He closes the distance between the two of you, yearning to reach out and touch you. Instead, he clamps his eyes shut, trying with all his might to focus when the room feels like it’s spinning.

“And then you get mad when Yukhei tries to make a move. It’s like you’re jealous or something!”

“I am.” He can’t take it anymore. The words tumble from his lips in a rush that he hardly bothers to bite back.

“Why?”

“Because━ Because━” He struggles to form his thoughts into words, stumbling over his sentence. Fuck, he’s never like this. Even you can tell. He grits his teeth next. “I lean in to kiss you and you look at me as if I’m out of my mind. I just don’t get it. You don’t want me to kiss you but you let me put my dick in your ass.”

The taut line of your lip quivers as you break. “That was one time and you didn’t even get all the way in!”

“Y/N.” Jungkook hums now. He’s gazing at you a little softly, reaching out to place his hands on your waist. “Look, I know I’ve been an idiot. But lately, when I touch you, I fucking feel so alive and the thought of Yukhei doing anything with you when it isn’t me, who should be with you, makes me want to vomit. And when I wake up in the morning alone, I only want you next to me. And I can’t be the only one feeling that way. If I am, tell me. Right now. Please. I just wanna know why you won’t ever let me kiss you, but you let me do all sorts of things with you. Am I really that repulsive?”

Another moment of silence stifles the room. Jungkook is so close to you now, you can’t help yourself. You reach up to tug at the collar of his shirt, fingers twisting in the material as you lean your forehead out of frustration against his shoulder and he instinctively lets his arms slither around your waist, holding you to him. Then━

“No.”

“What?”

“I only made the rule because I don’t want you to kiss me unless you mean it,” You murmur into his chest. “Like really, really mean it. Like I’m more than just a notch in your belt. Because I want to kiss you so badly, and I’m already in love with you but then I’ll really be in love with you and I don’t want to get my heart broken.”

The anticipation kills you, awaiting his response. You refuse to lift your head, until you hear him grumble, “You’re so fucking stupid.”

“Me?”

The retort is filled with your typical jestering hostility as you finally look at him. But just as you do so, Jungkook’s reaching out to grasp at your face, rough hands all soft and gentle as they cradle your cheeks, guiding you towards him and smoothing his lips over yours until you melt like putty in his hands.

Kissing Jungkook, you deduce at once, is not at all how you imagined it.

It’s everything and more. You’ve felt his mouth on you before but in much different circumstances. Between your legs, on your throat, down past the valley of your breasts ━ and each kiss then had been feral, sloppy, rough. Now, it’s sweet and tender, the feeling of his lips as soft as how he makes your heart feel. And the butterflies━ god, the butterflies.

Impatient hands tug and pull at one another until you’ve both stumbled into your room and onto your bed. He’s clambered over top of you, lips struggling to not part throughout the whole ordeal, until he’s wedged himself between your thighs.

Only then does Jungkook part from you just enough in the next moment, lips brushing against yours, as he whispers ardently, “I mean it.”

Then he’s kissing the corner of your lips down to the underside of your jaw, his mouth grazing along your skin in a feathery touch. His hands help you shed your shirt, and the bra underneath. “I mean it when I kiss you here.”

Then he drops his head to your neck, kissing at the base of your throat, before nipping at it lightly. “And here.”

Your hands come to thread in his hair, tugging at the roots. He burrows his face lastly in your chest, snatching the nipple of one of your breasts between his teeth. “Here…”

You’re so soft and supple beneath his hands, all his to love and explore.

“I want you, all of you,” he mumbles. “Only you.”

“Oh, Koo…”

A pretty moan tumbles from your mouth, and he could nearly cry. He had surely thought you were far past the point of enraged, far past the point of pensive words shaped in a heartfelt apology to bring you back to him. But then hearing you rasp his name ━ the little cute nickname that only you call him ━ makes him so goddamn remorseful.

He smothers your lips with his once more, groaning into your mouth. “I’m such a fucking dick. I don’t deserve you.”

“Don’t say that,” You whine.

“I’m sorry,” he laments. He bites at your lower lip, suckling against it. “Please let me make it up to you.”

“You already have.”

“But I’ve been such a shitty friend,” he groans. It’s hard to focus when he’s pressing his hips against yours, the forming bulge in his pants straining against the inside of your thigh. “I should’ve known when to stop. I shouldn’t have even suggested the whole thing in the first place, because then I wouldn’t have messed us all up.”

“Jungkook,” Your grip tightens in his hair. “Jungkook━ I want you so bad. Just wanna be yours.”

“Yeah?” His breath is warm as it fans against your neck. You rub your core eagerly against him, throbbing pussy so close to making contact with his dick.

“Yeah,” You mewl.

“What do you want from me?”

“You. Wanna feel your dick in me, please,” Your fingers tug at the top of his jeans, prodding at the muscles on his abdomen. “In my mouth. Can make you feel better, Koo, I promise. Just wanna be your good girl.”

“Mmm, I like the sound of that.”

He lets you push him until he’s on his back and you’re straddling his hips. Your limbs entangle with his as you shed the rest of your clothes, your own hands wandering up and down the front of his body after he’s tossed his shirt onto the floor. Then he watches as you shimmy your way down his body. You’re so zealous in pleasing him, wrapping your hand around the base of his dick, head angry and red, dribbling pearly beads of precum down the shaft and over the bulging vein that lines it. You run your thumb over the tip and down, spreading the sticky fluid over him. He grunts in response, nearly jolting at your touch, as his head drops back against his shoulders.

“Oh, fuck,” he growls.

You pump him slowly, taking you time as your closed fist glides up and down his length. He shudders each time your hand reaches the base, and becomes so carried away with your leisure teasing that his eyes are screwed shut and misses the way you dip down to kiss at the tip of his cock. His eyes immediately flutter open, a flustered expression painting his face. You lap again at the head, saltiness coating your tongue, and you let out a simpering moan that has him quivering. And when you wrap your mouth entirely around his cock, sinking down along his length, he swears he’s about to fall apart. Your eyes flicker upward to meet him and the moment they lock, so sexy and dark, he has to look away for fear of busting right then and there. He reclines back against the bed once more, his hand flying out to grab at your hair.

“You’re so good to me, baby,” he rasps.

He can feel the curve of your lips against his cock as you suck him off. You do so well, too. Puffing your cheeks out, taking as much of him as you can until it feels as if he’s hitting the back of your throat. Then, you’ll suck at the tip of his cock, tongue swirling rapidly around, as your fist rubs his shaft. It’s a beautiful mix, one that inches him closer and closer to his high, and each time you switch he has to hold it together to not let go so soon. He wants to enjoy it, needs to bask in it. Your pretty mouth doing such sinful things, making him feel as if he were in heaven.

“Shit━” His hips jut forward to meet with your mouth, accidentally hitting the back of your throat without warning. You gag a little, but don’t pull away, and when he apologizes to you hastily, you only moan in response. A thought pops into his head that has him beckon aloud, “Will you be a good girl and let me fuck your mouth? Huh, baby?”

You hum in approval, eyes shimmering with glee.

So, he plants both hands in your hair, grabs at the sides of your head, and as you hollow out your cheeks, he bucks into your mouth. He does it again and again, listening to your crescendoing mewls of delight, forming a sticky mess of drool and cum that spills onto your chin.

“God, you’re so good,” Jungkook grunts. He’s a complete wreck, eyes screwing shut, blonde tresses spilling into his lashes. The muscles in his abdomen twitch with each sharp inhale of air he takes, so mesmerized by the shape of your pretty mouth around his dick, like you were made for him. “Such a good girl, huh?”

He fucks himself into your mouth roughly, frantically. Tears start to prick at your eyes from holding your breath, yet you keep yourself together just a little longer for him, lashes fluttering shut tightly.

“All mine too,” Jungkook hisses. “Wouldn’t let Yukhei do this to you, would you? Fuck, I’m━”

With your head left immobile stuck in his grasp, you hum in disapproval instead. You know he’s close when you start to hear him panting breathily. When he cums, it’s with a fractured whine and in short hot bursts onto your tongue and down your throat. You swallow as much as you can and, when he parts from you with a resonating lewd pop, you wipe away with your knuckles at the rest of his cum leaking out of the corner of your mouth and onto your chin. Dark hooded eyes meet with yours, a mischievous glint captivating them. You crawl over to him, straddling his hips once more, chasing his mouth with yours. Your own lips are so wet, coated in saliva and cum, bruised plump, but yet you’re smiling so innocently past the way he can taste himself on his tongue.

A dazed thought pops into your head that has you murmuring wistfully against him, “Say it again. I like hearing you call me baby.”

“Hmm? What about when I call you my good girl?” Jungkook nips at your lips. He grasps at your waist, flipping you over until you’re on your back beneath him. “You treat me so well, baby; you’re my only girl, you know that.”

A contented sigh sounds from you as you rut your hips in thinning desperation to meet his, so close to rubbing against his dick nestled against his thigh. He licks at his fingers hastily, reaching between the two of you to press against your clit, rubbing leisurely at the soft bundle of nerves. He’s learned how to navigate your body after months of supposed emotionless fucking, but now? Now, he felt as if his heart may just burst through his chest. Every reaction you make to his every touch ━ the needy plea to have him make you his, call you baby ━ makes him want to see more, and more.

“Am I?” You ask hoarsely. He grasps at his dick, guiding his tip to your core, so slick and wet, glistening with your own arousal. As he pushes himself in with a hiss, he watches as you contort beneath him. “Nnngh, Jungkook━”

“Fuuck,” he groans. He sinks into you, spreading your thighs further and further apart, until his hips make contact with yours. His mouth attacks yours with a feverish passion, the rumble of his moans and your whimpers muffling against one another. Then, he remembers to answer your awaiting question, barely audible between the way his tongue lavs at yours. “You are. I’m so fucking in love with you. But I don’t deserve you.”

Your hands tug impatiently at his hair. “Stop saying that.”

“But it’s true,” he hums. He’s quick to start rutting at your hips in a steady yet agonizing pace, dick burrowing into your pussy as your walls throb and shake. He can’t help but watch, mesmerized as always by the way his length slips past your folds and disappears into you. Again, and again, and again, so lewdly destroying your pretty cunt. “Just want Yukhei to touch you all over instead, don’t you?”

“No,” You croak.

You spread your thighs instinctively wider apart, allowing him to sink even further into you until it feels as if he’s hitting you so far in your stomach. Each roll of his hips is punctuated by the crude noise of skin against skin, sending you spiralling.

“Want him to do all sorts of dirty things to you, huh?”

“N-No. Fuck, Jungkook━ Harder, please━”

“That’s what you said,” Jungkook retorts. Still, he listens to your pleas, snapping his hips into yours roughly enough to send you jolting back on the bed. His hands start to roam your body, pinching at your hips, then grasping ferociously at one of your breasts. “Want him to fuck you in his car, right?” His palm feels like fire as it slides up past your collarbones to your throat. “Want him to choke you.”

His hand comes to wrap around the underside of your jaw on your throat, thumb and index finger pressing against the pressure points there. He squeezes, though with barely any force, just enough to feel your rapid pulse beneath his digits in a way that makes you so suddenly hyper aware of everything he’s doing to you. Cock stretching you wide, palm heavy around your throat, mouth folding over yours. So caught up in the overwhelming sensations you’re feeling, you can’t tell if he’s genuinely upset with himself, though you suspect part of him is. You can sense it in the way he clings to you a little tighter, can see it laced within his dazzling pupils.

Jungkook huffs, hair flopping into his eyes as he grits his teeth and ruts his hips faster into you if only to see more of your pretty little reactions. Your jaw unhinges at the feeling, head falling back onto the pillows. “He could probably treat you nicer too.”

You shake your head wildly, fingers digging into the skin on his shoulders. “Just want you, Koo.”

“Still?” he asks. His grip on your neck fastens a little more, pure euphoria riddling all your senses and making you writhe beneath him. “God, you’re such a dumb little slut, aren’t you?”

You nod in your groggy exhaustion, the familiar burn coiling in your stomach, making your toes curl.

Jungkook feels your own high approach. Your walls are clenched so tightly around him, he has to sputter for air. “Could he make you feel like this?”

“No, Koo,” You whine. “Only you.”

“Yeah?” Jungkook growls. “Good girl. Gonna cum around my dick like the good little slut you are?”

Your hips ricochet upwards to meet his, relentless pounding into your core. “Please, please━”

Jungkook quickens his pace until you’ve deteriorated into absolute shambles, whimpering his name after each thrust. You tumble towards your high, cuming around his length as he burrows it into you again and again, and all he can think is mine, mine, mine. As you unravel beneath him, he slides his hand off of your throat and slithers it underneath you and around your waist, hoisting you slightly enough off the bed so that he can reach his own orgasm. He’s a little more frantic now, sloppy and restless as he pummels into you.

“Shit, baby━” he cries out. “Oh, fuck, you’re so good━”

As you come down from your high enough, you somehow manage to murmur drowsily, “Cum in me, Koo. Wanna feel it.”

You grab at his face, pulling him down to catch his lips on yours, and the thought is so tempting he can’t refuse. He gets so lost in your lips, cuming with one final slam of his hips into yours and a chorus of curses mingling with your name in whimpers. He rides out both of your highs with a few half-hearted thrusts, more concerned with kissing you in useless open-mouthed kisses as your own mouth parts with one last weary moan while he fills you up.

When he’s spent, he collapses against your chest, and you collapse onto the bed. It’s quiet long enough for the both of you to calm the shrill beat of your hearts when you feel Jungkook stir, moving to part from you, pulling his dick from your swollen pussy and planting a lingering peck on your cheek. He disappears momentarily but returns a few seconds later, towel in hand which he uses to wipe at your core now leaking with his cum and your heart croons at all his tender touches.

It makes you realize all at once that, god, yes, you’re so in love with your idiot best friend and he’s so in love with you.

“Jungkook.”

He turns to look at you, an adoring smile dancing upon his lips when he sees your own radiant beaming face. You beckon him over and he relents, letting you pull him into your arms. He nuzzles his face in the crook of your neck as he wraps his own arms around you to tug you closer to his side. As your fingers come to rake through his sweaty hair, he cranes his neck to follow your hand and hear him coo against your neck, “That feels so good.”

A sudden thought crosses your mind that has you smirking smally to yourself. “Are we… Are we cuddling? Jungkook, I thought you didn’t like cuddling. Said it was, and I quote, sentimental bullshit.”

“I never liked it because it wasn’t with you. Didn’t wanna waste my time on someone that wasn’t you,” Jungkook hums, matter-of-fact. You can tell he’s a little embarrassed at the way you so casually taunt him about such an obvious fact, though he’s fortunate you can’t see him smiling like a complete fool. “And I wanna do all that sentimental bullshit with only you. Now, shush━” He scolds you playfully. “M’so tired and I just wanna hold you tight.”

“Can’t argue with that.” Your heart leaps in your chest. “Just promise me one thing?”

It’s only then that he lifts his sleepy gaze to find yours, apprehensive of any potentially looming severity in your words. “Anything.”

Instead, all he can find is the way you trace your finger along the details of his face, from his nose, to his cheekbones, down to the freckle under his lip with the hand that sports your friendship bracelet. “In the morning, when we wake up, you’ll still be here to hold me tight. And every other morning after that.”

His smile widens even more, if that was even possible. “Wouldn’t want it any other way. But━”

“But?”

“On one condition.”

“What’s that?”

His eyes sparkle cheekily. “Kiss me.”

So, you do, again and again and again; and Jungkook thinks, yeah, he certainly can get used to this.

It takes you a month to cave in to Jungkook’s incessant pleas to fuck you to his sex playlist. You do it mostly to humour him, though part of you is a little bit intrigued at the thought.

Stowed away in his room, he eats you out to the choruses of sultry The Weeknd and raunchy Ariana Grande songs, fucks you to the likes of the Neighbourhood and Kim Petras while you’re on all fours, and you’re only half-paying attention to the music until you hear it. Admittedly, you almost completely miss it but you blame Jungkook and the way he’s making you currently feel, sprawled out beneath him, chests pressed flush against one another in a sweaty, sticky mess, breathy and glorious moans of your name filling your ears when━

“I had no choice but to hear you. You stated your case time and again━”

The dulcet chime of Alanis Morissette thrums about the room, a complete and utter shift in contrast in the atmosphere that has you immediately pausing.

“Jungkook.” But he knows what you set out to say even before you do, judging by the tone in your voice and the stifling smirk on his face. You gawk at him, biting at your lip to hide your laughter but you fail miserably. “You weren’t joking?”

He shrugs innocently, leaving you just as dumbfounded as you were two seconds ago. Instead, he says, “Gotta do what I promised then, don’t I?”

You quirk a brow. “What was that exactly?”

“Gotta give you the best orgasm of your life.”

“If you can do that to cheesy 90s pop, I’ll have your actual babies, Jungkook.” The effort is endearing and impressive, to say the least.

A roll of your eyes is met with a taunting roll of his hips into yours that wipes the jest off your face immediately. He grins like a madman, uttering a little stupidly, and a little ardently, “Say no more.”

Because, all things considered and joking aside, he wants it with you ━ the dazed daydreamy talk of a future together and kids, friendship bracelets, and cuddles in the morning. Because you mean the world to him and more. Because you’re his best friend, and he’s so madly in love with you.

Because he wants it all with you.

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[zarla-s]

yo dawg any thoughts on DR chapter 2 thus far

I SURE DO because BOY there was a lot to unpack in that chapter. I'm still trying to sort out my thoughts about it, I like literally just finished the alt route a few hours ago which just gave me a whole bunch of new info to try and sort through, haha. I’m going to need to sit down and really think about it for a while before I can start spinning things together effectively.

BUT ANYWAY, FOR QUICK SPOILER-FREE THOUGHTS CHAPTER 2 WAS REALLY GOOD AND I LIKED IT MORE THAN CHAPTER 1 TBH I loved the expanded mechanics and the new sense of depth to everything, it gave a much clearer picture of what Deltarune is going to be than Chapter 1 I think. I think I was also more open to it this time since I was prepared for it going in - I got totally blindsided by Chapter 1 and had no idea what was going on or what it meant or if it was a sequel or what, but this time I knew what the deal was so I could just take Chapter 2 on its own merits. Loved the characters and the enemies and the bullet patterns were all really cute, loved it. It all felt really cohesive.

SPOILER THOUGHTS UNDER THE CUT for both the main route and the alt route (I like the name Snowgrave for it but in my head I just keep calling it the alt route, haha)

I’ll just do this as a list because I don’t have the energy to really get in-depth with a lot of it at the moment.

I’m really suspicious of Ralsei. I was suspicious of him before but I’m really suspicious of him now. It’s weird he can walk around in other dark worlds without turning to stone, that there’s a room for Asriel in the Queen’s mansion and not one for him, and VERY weird that he knew exactly what Kris had to do in the real world to bring the other darkners back into the dark world. How did he know that. Also he looked cuter with his hat.

Spamton is great and creepy, I was able to do his battle first try! Which was way better luck than I had with Jevil lol. Although, today I went to try and do it again just to check, and I spared Jevil my first try. :O So maybe Jevil got rebalanced? I dunno, it just seemed a lot easier all of a sudden. ANYWAY, SPAMTON IS GREAT

Spamton has to be ghost related but i’m not sure how yet, I assume Mettaton due to the form and the wings and the name and the recurring Neo motif in his theme, but there was also general ghost motifs in his theme as well and some things don’t add up. It did look like you find the disk in Mettaton Neo’s discarded body, and Seam says it might have belonged to an old Lightner. A lot of ghost connections. What if Spamton is Dess’s ghost

Love Queen and the Tasques, goes without saying I’m sure, all the enemies were so cute. Loved checking on Lancer in my items.

Hugely pleased with the ramped up gay and also Noelle is precious

Kris opening the fountains is an interesting twist. I wonder if they opened the first castle town fountain or not (also, no one else seems to see the castle town door?). It’s weird because there was a door connecting castle town to the card world, and there was no door to the cyberworld. But somehow Ralsei knew how to get there anyway? How did he get there? How could he tell. Ralsei’s up to something. I do not trust him.

Susie’s the best

The Snowgrave route is really creepy in a different way than the murder run in Undertale which I’m very intrigued by, I want to see where that’s going. There are interesting parallels you could draw between Kris controlling Noelle and the player controlling Kris, but again it’s something I’ll have to think more about before it becomes something more coherent. Something something “strength” being achieved by giving up control to someone else, blocking out what they do, just doing whatever they tell you, something something

lol berdly died lol kris just shoving his body in a closet

The Flowey TV at the end is also intriguing, I wonder if Flowey is the one forcing Kris to remove their SOUL and do stuff. I wonder. Kris moves so jerkily without your control and also it seems like it takes a lot of time for Kris to get enough strength or control to move to pull the soul out in the first place. There’s the puppet/string connection that Spamton highlights, but also when he says that even when all the strings were cut, he wasn’t free. It could be that taking out YOUR soul just leaves Kris open to Flowey’s control instead. I dunno. Lot of questions.

Also strange that Kris deliberately opened the front door and turned on the TV before opening the fountain. And that they take their SOUL out pretty regularly, apparently? Toriel doesn’t seem that bothered by Kris spending a ton of time in the bathroom with the water on, anyway.

So Kris opened the fountain in the library at the end of chapter 1, then also went and ate all the pie. Then Kris went out and slashed Toriel’s tires (presumably) and possibly ate all the sugar in her car before opening the fountains. I wonder if there’s a connection between sugar and Kris pulling your soul out to do whatever.

 Ralsei says darkners turn to stone when they’re in a world that’s not their own, Onion says they hear a song from the ocean they can’t remember but they’re sure they’ve heard it before (Mother 1 nod, I see you!):

Just gonna throw this out there.

I spent a bunch of time getting the egg and putting it in Asgore’s fridge and NOTHING, DANG IT

Noelle seems able to hear your voice as the player, or at least a strange terrifying voice that doesn’t seem to be Kris’s. My guess is the player, but if the TV really is Flowey, then maybe it’s him? Questions.

lol throughout the snowgrave route i called noelle my murder girlfriend

By the way you can do the Snowgrave route even if you’ve spared everyone up to that point. You can also start sparing people again right after Noelle leaves. Thus names like Murder run or Genocide run don’t really fit to me. Neither does weird run, weird implies something a lot less... dark? I think Snowgrave is the way to go here. Or alt I guess but that’s pretty vague, although people will probably know what you’re talking about.

I CAN’T BELIEVE I GOT ROBBED OF PAPYRUS AGAIN well no I can believe that, part of me thought that might happen BUT I WAS HOPING

The difficulty level was nice throughout, not too hard and not too easy. Close shaves, but nothing frustrating. I think I actually only died to Berdly and Spamton on the Snowgrave route, come to think of it. NO WAIT I died a lot to the teacups leading up to Spamton’s battle lol but that doesn’t count.

There’s a lot you can make out of Spamton’s dialogue and I don’t have the energy to stitch it all together right now though, haha. What he says in the store about, what was it... a call for you, asking if anyone was there? And then in the Snowgrave route where he says you can call for friends all you want and they won’t answer? An Earthbound nod of course, but still. It makes me wonder where things are going.

(There’s a second thing I want to tie to that but I’ll probably make that a separate post)

Given that Toby said there’d only be one ending and there are routes where Berdly is alive or DEAD, I get the feeling we’re heading for a “rocks fall, everyone dies” ending more than ever. Or an ending where the world of Deltarune is destroyed and becomes Undertale, or something. idk. I’m just speculating.

There’s an explanation for Kris’s saves now! Theories I had about it before are off-base now with new information, haha. So Kris has been saving in every dark world they create, which includes Castle Town. Well, if not them though, they saved over SOMEone’s file when they showed up there. I do wonder why the spade king and Queen didn’t recognize Kris though if they were the one convincing them to create chaos in their kingdoms. Although the video of the fountain being created DID say that there was so much smoke, you couldn’t see who was doing it. Maybe Kris was in disguise.

Spamton says something very weird when he talks about the knight at his store, which makes sense if Kris was actually the knight. I can’t remember it exactly though right now.

Spamton is really insistent on talking to Kris alone.

It could be that Kris is exploring the nature of freedom/control with Noelle during the Snowgrave route since they’re struggling with that themselves. Although the closer glimpses of the player during that route (when she seems to hear you, the player’s voice) make that a bit fuzzy.

It’s interesting that Noelle’s description says she freezes the enemy right off the bat before you do anything. Also she’s really hesitant and resistant about going to Spamton’s shop specifically it seems, and when she’s there she says something that implies “why did you bring me HERE” along with the odd line “there’s no one here, no one at all” and that it’s creepy and weird, but also nostalgic for her. I almost wonder if Noelle had something to do with Dess’s death (I assume Dess is dead from how everyone talks about her). Or if she believes she did, anyway. She could just be nostalgic for the scared feeling like she says to Kris later on a normal route, but I dunno. It’s weirdly specific.

When you fight enemies down with Noelle, it always says “Noelle got stronger” even if Noelle doesn’t kill the enemy with her magic, even though I’m pretty sure her stats don’t change unless you get the ice kill.

I remember when I played the first chapter I wanted to do a murder run immediately afterwards (that’s me! I’m still doing that!) and then as I went through I noticed I wasn’t killing anyone, no matter how hard I tried. They’d always heal themselves or run away until the game went the way it wanted me to, with only minor differences. To be honest, I found it kind of frustrating. It really did feel like control was being taken away from me, particularly because it presented the option and then did nothing with it. Why let me fight if it doesn’t do anything? Why harp so much on making good choices if I can’t make any other ones? What’s the point?

Then in chapter 2, it turns out oh hey, fighting will make you lose recruits, and it’s like alright, that makes more sense. But still I felt railroaded into this sort of fluffy, feel-good kind of path. Even when I fought everyone off on a normal route, it mostly went the same except with a few different bits of dialogue. Again, it was weirdly frustrating. It felt like something was missing.

And then, you get Noelle. And then it turns out you DO have a way to kill people, after all this time. NOW you have a chance to take control and stop doing what the game clearly wants you to do, and what everyone is telling you to do. You’ve found a loophole! YOU can’t kill anyone, but NOELLE can. There was a definite kind of contrary rebelliousness during that run for me, a kind of “you can’t stop me from doing this or ruining what you wanted me to do” kind of feeling, which I assume is meant to mirror how Kris feels all the time when your soul is in them. I didn’t see it as a need or instinct to level Noelle (no one in the game can even get levels through exp! There’s no point! No one’s important stats ever change except through equipment!), just a realization that you found a loophole in what you’re supposed to do - or who you’re supposed to be. Noelle’s just a tool for that, which Spamton even calls you out about in his final battle by asking if you want to “use” her again when you call for her.

AND SHE COMES WHEN YOU CALL HER TOO HOW DOES SHE DO THAT

Also interesting: when you call for your friends in that route to help you, they don’t come/can’t hear you, and Spamton says it’s your fault. If you call for your weapon though (Noelle) she comes almost immediately. You don’t even have to call her, you whisper her name once and she’s there.

There’s a lot going on in the route is the jist, haha.

I HOPE ASGORE IS DOING OKAY ;_; HE HAS TO BEG SANS FOR FREE PICKLES

I also noticed that when Sans is like “oh you keep your flowers under glass huh, like that movie” Asgore is like “yes it’s... very similar to that movie” with a shifty look. The flower in Beauty and the Beast symbolized the prince’s life. Asgore what are you up to. Did you get up to murdering antics again. He DOES say he talks to the flowers a lot.

I think the dark worlds are getting stronger, since in Chapter 1 everyone went home mostly fine, but in Chapter 2 injuries seem to carry over. Berdly freaking dies lol in the Snowgrave route, but also if you fight the Queen during that battle where Berdly has a wire in his face, he’ll eventually pull off the wire himself and in the process burn up his arm all crispy. Then in the real world, his arm is paralyzed! So things are definitely carrying over from one to the other.

Queen has to be related to Susie’s mom issues. Ralsei says darkners are meant to serve Lightners and follow them and bring them happiness - darkners might be a kind of Silent Hill thing where they reflect what Lightners want or fear (Noelle wants her mom to love and prioritize her happiness over everything, perhaps, or is just afraid of how smothering and controlling she can be). Also sad that the Ambulance enemies show up right after you get Noelle. :( And Queen mentions Noelle making a lot of sad and strange searches - I assume searches about whatever illness her dad has or how to deal with grief or guilt.

I thought maybe Spade King was Susie related thusly because he talks a lot about being a Bad Guy, but on second thought, his main motivation is resentment about being discarded and forgotten by Lightners and the people who used to give him purpose. Maybe he’s a reflection of Kris’s issues about Asriel leaving. Just speculating.

For some reason I pictured Asriel as a like football bro due to all his trophies but it sounds like he’s just a wussy as Ralsei is lol. Which makes sense. Ralsei was always kind of worryingly accepting of the abuse you dish out to him, he’ll forgive Kris of practically anything (I gave him an S. Poison and he was like OW! I mean, uh, thanks Kris! Haha!), he’s so desperate for Kris’s validation and affection. Asriel seems to have a sort of similar tendency in constantly going to confession for KRIS’S sins and sobbing about them FOR you. I wonder if Ralsei is just Asriel’s dark world form in disguise, thus why he hid his face for so long from you and changed his name.

(If Ralsei is Asriel in disguise then that makes his behavior towards his sibling PRETTY WEIRD tbh)

Kris is such a weird edgy kid. I worry about them, haha. I don’t think it’s as simple as Kris being an antagonist to the player or the player being an antagonist to Kris. It’s definitely interesting that Kris is making the fountains and the player is the one sealing them (it specifically says its your soul doing it). At first glance, making more fountains does seem like it’ll plunge the world into darkness and chaos, but then again... Ralsei’s the one telling you that, and who knows. Maybe he has his own agenda. There was a lot in this chapter about how the dark world is better than the light one.

If the dark world versions are meant to reflect the lightner’s souls or innermost desires or idealized visions of themselves, then Kris’s soul/desire/vision of themselves is... a corpse-blue dead knight. Bit worrying.

Awful lot of scarves in chapter 2 that pushed for Ralsei to attack people. A lot of attack uppers for him. Even Spamton’s item is a weapon for him that mentions abandoning healing. I know Jevil dropped a weapon for Susie too, but I dunno.

The fact you can fuse the Thorn Ring with a Pure Crystal (wherever that is) to make a creepy sword makes me think Noelle is going to come back again. Unless you’re supposed to get the thorn ring and then take it off her and abort the run at Berdly, which you could do I suppose. Still, it makes me think you and Noelle are going to keep going down that path together.

(What if the Pure Crystal is frozen Berdly? D: Or even an item you get off of Noelle if you kill her?)

Also very interesting that the ending credit theme is a glitchy version of the first chapter end theme. Don’t Forget was reprising constantly through the first chapter, but only showed up rarely in the second one. I only remember hearing a snip of it once, come to think of it, and I can’t remember where.

Boy there was a lot of shipteasing in pretty much every direction, wasn’t there?

ANYWAY THAT’S ALL I GOT RIGHT NOW I’m going to keep thinking about it though.

#deltarune #spoilers #asks and answers #meta #walls of text

[sneverussape]

on catholicism and severus & tobias snape

if you're going to expect a very well-thought out essay about this, please let me stop you right there. it likely won't be :)) but this was prompted by comments of people on my hc of catholic!snape and a (long) conversation with @dementedlollipop on discord that just spurred so many Thoughts.

going under a cut coz i don't know how long this will be.

so. i have made several allusions via drawings and stuff that one of my (main) hcs is that snape and tobias are catholic. i don't think i explained properly before why it makes so much sense; i tend to just spazz, but i'll really try to be articulate this time.

first, the background:

i grew up catholic, but the culture i was raised in was also catholic, so it permeated the value system i and everyone else around me knew. people put a high value on respect, filial piety, obedience, family, etc. all the stuff you watched on Derry Girls. that's exactly how it is to grow up in catholic culture, at least where i'm from. american catholic culture is slightly different because it's placed in a very secular context so it has a lot of caveats. it's very different if you grow up culturally catholic, and in a country that still largely runs on religious practices.

how this relates to the snapes:

i always find it interesting to figure out why characters act the way they do, especially if there's very little said in canon about them. tobias was one of the characters i was so interested in, because i found his situation so unique.

he's a muggle, as we know, and it was alluded to that he had neglected and/or abused his son and/or wife. yet, as far as we can tell, he also didn't leave them. it was likely that by the time severus met lily he already knew both eileen and severus were magical. why did he stay with them, if he disliked magic? surely it would have been easier if he had just left and started over elsewhere?

it's not just tobias, but also severus; how he acted, his thought processes, why he did what he did. it all felt very familiar to me, and it all routed back to traditional catholic values, and the way that i know how you just can't shake them off, no matter how hard you push against the faith itself.

the things that feed the hc (and which also leads to more hcs):

- severus was born in 1960, which means tobias was born in the first half of the 20th century, sometime between the 20s and 40s. (i like to peg it as the late 20s, because i also like to hc him being a ww2 vet, not only because it fits the context but also like father, like son -- severus is also a soldier);

- tobias living through the first half of the 20th century means he would have lived in an england that was still 'religious' in a sense, wherein religion was still a big part of their culture (i mean it technically still is, but i would imagine more people back then were still practicing it actively). he didn't strike me as anglican or protestant tbh because he seemed too traditional, and by that i mean he had a strong sense of duty to his family, strong enough to not break his marriage vows and to stay despite the presence of magic;

- now, magic has always had a weird placement in catholicism. i've never really had issues with religion vs harry potter. we were never banned from it, however i do know that back then, the very concept of magic was something that scared the bejeezus out of the common folk because it was "the devil's work" (and yes, i know this belief is wrong and is rooted in oppression by the church, but this is not what we're discussing rn). the repulsion tobias feels about magic i feel is therefore something that's rooted in religion;

- it was dementedlollipop that pointed this out but severus wearing his mam's blouse can also be read as tobias not even minding this was happening. how could this happen in a hypermasculine society like a lower-class town in 60s england? if tobias had really cared about it (because shame, because what will the neighbors think of you running around looking like that), severus would have worn his da's shirt rather than his mam's, if only to save himself from possible punishment. but he didn't. we know, however, that he was neglected/punished as a child. in this case, the possible reason he would have been was precisely because of magic. now you tell me why an ordinary muggle man in this setting would even care that his child was magical? as poor as they were, he could have exploited their magic and tried to make money from it, but this type of behavior was never mentioned. it just strengthens the hc that tobias was more bothered by something else more fundamental about the magic: that his son was not just different, but different, in all the ways he knew was wrong;

- "he doesn't like anything, much" sounds like a description of a man resigned to his fate, that is, being in a marriage he couldn't get out of (divorce isn't allowed in the catholic church, and annulment is expensive and has many conditions before it can be granted, if it will be granted). the abuse we know that happened could be him retaliating to the situation by lashing out in a horrific manner whenever the final thread snapped;

- catholicism is very big on ethics, and places value in things like fortitude, temperance, piety. this isn't just taught to you via a book; people already behave like it and it's ingrained in your belief systems, so you also learn it by example. suffering is also a big thing in catholic culture. there's virtue in suffering, in subjecting yourself to copious amounts of guilt and making up for it via penance like giving yourself up for a higher cause. i mean, that already is peak severus imo, but it also works for tobias, because where else could severus have learned it? children don't just pick up this stuff on the fly; it's learned from one's parents and backed up by a very solid values system;

- we then have tobias, a born-and-raised catholic, with a wife and child whom he suddenly finds out can do things that have always been taught to him as "satanic", and yet he can't leave them due to his marriage vows, due to his sense of duty that's been drilled into him since time immemorial, and perhaps because he also does love them. it's his family, after all. severus is his only child. a child he had initially thought was blessed, a gift, but is now damned, and it's his fault, as a father. he must have done something in his life to deserve it, but what? why would god even curse him this way? but then god gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers, and so he will see it through. this is his burden to bear;

- now we have severus, who's raised on the same values as his father, but tempered by his mother's secret stories of the wizarding world. he would have adored his father, i think, prior to his magic being discovered, because tobias would have doted on him. they would have been avid churchgoers at some point, at least severus and tobias, and he would have been baptized in the local parish. he'd have gone to mass, would have heard it in latin, and would have learned latin enough to know it like a mother tongue. he would have recited prayers and hymns with his father in latin too. this would have given him a leg up in the wizarding world, as far as that language was concerned. it's no wonder he could create spells;

- imagine the heartache that would have occurred the moment tobias realized he was not at all normal. the rejection that would have happened, how tobias would have silently and swiftly cut off all affection, and young severus would have been left to wonder why, until eileen explained to him that his father's world and their world just could not mix, and it's always been the way with muggles (hence the somewhat anti-muggle sentiment he alludes to in canon when with lily). but severus would have also probably secretly thought it was all his fault;

- now this: even if he had rejected his father and the muggle faith he had been raised on just before going to hogwarts in order to make something new of himself, it wouldn't have worked. ironically, the wizarding world has living embodiments of the concepts he had learned at his father's knee and in the church, the same things he would have been trying to avoid and forget: the concept of souls was proven with ghosts, and eventually, horcruxes; voldemort dying and resurrecting proved power over death. the afterlife was also proven by harry's testimony from the graveyard when voldy got resurrected. voldemort himself, with his giant snake, would have also been like the living proof of satan and sin;

- i think severus would have been terrified at the realization that oh shit this stuff could actually true, and it would have pushed him towards religion, not away from it, if only to study it more. i mean i can only imagine him having a ton of theology books in his study just to read up on the subject matter. it would have also made the concept of him losing his soul upon killing dumbledore very very real and all the more terrifying, because then the sayings of him being doomed for all eternity may actually come true;

- (thou shall not kill. thou shall not kill. thou shall not kill)

- like his father before him though, he would have accepted his fate like a good soldier, and would have accepted the suffering that came with it. he also probably felt deep, deep guilt all throughout, because tobias had been right. he was exactly what his father had always been frightened of: damned in this life, and now the next. and it was all his fault.

#catholic!snape #i needed to finally write this because i keep drawing and creating stuff for it but not really explaining the background #it's something that just makes sense for me but also because i've lived with this same belief system my whole life #unclench though it's not canon #it's just an #hc #and maybe #a bit of #meta #cw christianity #tobias snape apologist #tobias snape #the snapes #snape #hp

[forestlingincorporated]

I wanna talk about Janet Drake

I’m not against exaggeratedly evil versions of Tim’s parents, tbh. It’s fanfiction, if we can depict an Exaggeratedly Good version of Bruce (which we can, and I do, and I love) then we can depict the Drakes as Exaggeratedly Bad. As someone who personally identifies with Tim, and his brand of complicated parental abuse in particular, I find it cathartic to uncomplicate that abuse and rescue him from the Obviously Evil Bad People. 

That said, since much of comics lore is passed down word of mouth, the oral tradition surrounding Tim has developed this idea of Janet as The Worse Parent between her and Jack that was never really present in the comics. We see much LESS of Janet, and we have 20 years worth of comics depicting Jack as a neglectful hotheaded idiot who ultimate does love his son. More importantly, Jack isn’t very much LIKE Tim, so there is a habit to attribute Tim’s traits to his mother... and, as someone who really really identifies with Tim, Tim has... some negative traits. Tim can be a bitch sometimes. He’s fiercely intelligent and sweet and kind, with a strong sense of justice, but he can be cold and judgmental and unthinking - he fights those traits, but he does have them. 

And it is perfectly fine to depict Janet that way. I’ve enjoyed depictions of Cold Calculating Janet Drake, but it’s not the ONLY option, and I want to challenge fans to consider different avenues. Tim could pick up these traits from anywhere: a nanny, Mrs. Mc Ilvaine (”Mrs. Mac”), a teacher, tv, Sherlock Holmes novels, Bruce Wayne himself. Tim is capable of not being like EITHER parent. 

So, what do we KNOW about Janet? (I’ll also touch on Jack, but only in scenes he appears with Janet.) 

When Janet was first introduced she was depicted as a gentle but “modern” woman. This was written in 1989, told by a 13 year old Tim, so this theoretically was meant to take place in 1979. I’m not here to give a lecture on the history of sex discrimination in the united states, but much of the legislation protecting women in the workforce or surrounding women’s bodily autonomy would have been very very new in this initial depiction. 

Here, Janet is shown to be encouraging, emotional, maternal, and projects her own feelings onto Tim. Jack is shown to be slightly sexist, possibly discouraging, but not overbearing. And the artist is shown not to know how to draw children. 

To insert some speculation, I think it’s important to note all the Drakes witnessed a terrible murder/accident that day. I point this out, because this is the last time Jack and Janet are depicted this way. It’s possible they changed as a result of this event specifically. 

However, this is also a story being told by Tim. It’s also possible these events aren’t really “real” at all, and Tim is misremembering what his parents were like as a three-year-old, possibly projecting a more palatable version of his parents into the narrative. This is entirely up to personal interpretation. 

In fact, the Drakes are shown in Legend of the Dark Knight attending Haly’s Circus, and the artist knows what a toddler looks like and they’re depicted as already having a slightly strained relationship. Jack is clearly on the defensive, and Janet seems to be passive-aggressive, though she could just be attempting to explain the situation to her toddler honestly. The intended tone isn’t especially clear. 

I do want to point out, in this depiction, Tim isn’t being carried like he was in the previous one. He’s walking ahead of his parents, which isn’t a terrible horrible crime, but could be dangerous in a crowded place like the circus. Might be a subtle hint to his parents overall neglect. 

Back to A Lonely Place of Dying, in Tim’s memories of the night he discovered Robin and Dick Grayson were the same person at nine-years-old, his parents are home, and watching TV together while Tim played... trucks, idk, in the living room with them. (This is semi-interesting, because you could say “oh, Tim liked vehicle toys as a kid” or you could extrapolate that this is another subtle indication of Jack’s sexism, providing Tim with appropriately “boy toys.” Either interpretation is valid. If Tim was assigned female at birth, would they have been given “girl toys,” or allowed to play with whatever they wanted?) 

This is, to my knowledge, the only panel of the Drakes when Tim is between ages 3 and 13. They’re all together, which might indicate that the Drakes were home more often when Tim was 9, only later going on business trips when Tim was “old enough” but... 

This is Tim’s boarding school when he’s 13. While most boarding schools in the US are for grades 9-12, Tim is clearly not a freshman at age 13; look how much younger the other kids in this panel are. In the US, the youngest you can attend most boarding schools is 7. 

That means Tim could have begun going to boarding school anytime between 7 and 13. He most likely spent all of middle school in boarding school, at least. There are an almost infinite number of possible ways the Drakes handled having a business that required lots of international travel, an archeology hobby, AND a very young child. Janet staying home until Tim was 7, 11, 13, is equally possible as the Drakes having a nanny until 7, 11, 13. Tim just doesn’t talk about that period of his life very much.

(”What about Mrs. Mac?” - it is unclear when Mrs. Mac begins working for the Drakes. We only see her when Jack comes out of his coma. She could either be a long standing staff member, or a recent hire.) 

Note: I’ve seen it said that it’s canon that “According to Tim, when his parents were home, they made a point to try and include him in their activities, bringing him along to events that were normally adults only.” I have never seen this panel, or I don’t remember it, so I cannot confirm, but I also cannot debunk this because... comics. 

By the time Tim is 13, Jack and Janet are away on business trips a lot, with limited communication, and no firm return date. If I’m feeling generous, I’d say it was harder to communicate internationally in 1990 than it is today. If I’m not feeling generous, I’d say the Drakes are extremely wealthy, and international communication was easier than ever before in the 80s and 90s. They’re not even going home to see Tim in a week or two, they’re going home and calling Tim at boarding school in a week or two. 

Even Bruce thinks its weird, though he doesn’t say so to Tim’s face. It’s written almost as if Tim’s parents’ neglect was meant to be a plot point that just got forgotten about. 

Tim’s parents are fighting at this point (their poor assistant), but Janet still goes with Jack on these business trips. And she’s clearly involved in the business, somehow, but the comics never SAY what Janet’s JOB is. We’re told Jack is the exec, but Janet is ONLY ever referred to as Jack’s wife, though they’re later described as the “heads” of the company, plural. 

Just to be clear, this is Jack’s business. There’s a perception that Jack is a bad business man because he and Janet fight over company decisions, and Jack looses the business after Janet dies, but Jack looses the company YEARS after Janet dies, and maintains it for about a year after No Man’s Land at that. We’re not told how Jack looses the business, but he’s got to be doing something right. Janet isn’t necessarily the “real brains” of Drake Industries. 

And I’m not... gonna... touch the... exploitation and racism because... I’m not qualified to do that. But, here’s the panel. The Drakes sure seem exploitative and racist in their business decisions. Someone else can... analyze that with more nuance. 

Regardless how how long they’ve been fighting, when their lives are in danger, the Drakes fall back into a loving husband and wife. Their marriage may be falling apart, but they do care about each other. 

I want to show these panels because it shows that Tim and Jack do have things in common. They’re both level headed in a crisis and can be somewhat cold in their practicality. Janet meanwhile and silent. Jack is later willing rant and rave at their captors, but Janet remains silent. 

That is, until they’re alone, and she finally lets herself fall apart. 

God, Jack can be obnoxious. Janet just looks miserable and resigned. I actually think Tim takes after his parents in this respect in equal measure. Tim can have a temper, but he can also be fairly melancholy and defeatist. 

Jack keeps reminding Janet to be strong and in control, which could be period typical sexism? But Jack seems so practiced and ready with the words of encouragement, and with Tim’s history with depression, I wonder if Janet has an inclination towards it as well. 

As the end approaches, when Jack brings up Tim, Janet seems to have a lot of regret. She talks about “wasting” the good things, and I don’t think it’s too big of a stretch to assume she’s talking about time spent with her only child. 

From this point on, Janet is at times spoken of, but not seen. Like here, when Jack says Janet wouldn’t approve of him and Tim being so “far apart.” He says this after he tells him he takes back his threat to send him back to boarding school, which might imply Janet was against the idea of boarding school? Though she obviously lost that argument when she was alive. 

Jack will of course renege on this later, but that’s Jack Drake for you. 

Or here in Tim’s illness induced dream, where he gets everything he wants. Though, since this is a fantasy of Tim’s, where his father and girlfriend are both more accepting and understanding than they are in real life, I would take this depiction of Janet with a grain of salt. 

After loosing Drake Industries, Jack thinks about Janet (though, they call her Catherine/Cathy for some fucking reason) during his depressive episode. And... uh... 

Hallucinates a Valkyrie???? Is this symbolic of suicidal thoughts, or is she... real? Or is he seriously hallucinating? 

Anyway, we’re not here to discuss Jack’s mental state, the fact that he forgot Tim’s birthday, or that concerning “I was going to knock some sense into you but you’re still bigger than me” statement from Tim, we’re here to talk about Janet. And even though this entire arc is about Jack mourning his first wife, they don’t SAY anything about Janet herself at all. I mean, they don’t even get her name right, so I guess what was I expecting. 

Then there’s Origins and Omens, which also doesn’t say anything about Janet, except that Tim’s memory of her is faulty - Janet was poisoned, her assistant Jeremy’s throat was slit on television, but Tim seems to have conflated the death he did see with the death he didn’t. 

The only piece of canon to suggest that Janet might be cold, is Tim compares her to Thalia. And even then, he’s really just saying Janet was protective of him. It’s kind of a scary look to make at your kid, but Bruce does the same thing, so. 

I do want to say... it’s not 100% clear if Tim is even talking about Janet. He could be talking about Dana. Dana was observably protective of Tim, though I don’t think he’s ever called her mom. He PROBABLY means Janet. 

And finally we have Tim visiting his mother’s grave (in a duel Christian/Jewish cemetery, make of that what you will), where Tim says she was “a little religious.”

And that’s it! That is all we know about Janet Drake in New Earth. Hardly the Mom From Hell, but she isn’t perfect. I’d be interested in seeing some alternate depictions of her within the fandom. 

I’m still gonna eat up Terrible Parents From Hell like a starving puppy dog, though. Just some food for creative thought. 

#Tim Drake #janet drake #jack drake #robin #Red Robin #character analysis

[mqnasluvr]

skinship headcanons | genshin impact

pairings; jean x gn!reader, amber x gn!reader, albedo x gn!reader

mentioned; kaeya, lisa, huffman, sucrose

warnings; suggestive themes ( jean ), all lowercase, not proofread

word count; 1.7k but half of it is albedo

jean

jean is not the touchiest person out there, but she does enjoy holding you. not too big on pda either; the most you’ll get out of her in public is maybe a quick smooch on the cheek and hand holding🛐 other than that, shes quite reserved.

her hugs are very comforting, but the first couple of times it was awkward on her part. she was used to giving barbara and klee hugs, but this was different. she wasn’t sure where to put her arms, and if anything she got more frustrated the more she hesitated.

once she grows accustomed to it, she’ll be fine. she enjoys the warmth and innocence of hugs, especially if you’re taller than her.

like i said, in public she isnt very touchy. while running errands she does keep you close though, and enjoys holding your hand more and anything.

behind closed doors shes a little bit bolder, but still shy overall. she’s not sure if she’s moving too fast for you so she waits until you initiate any type of physical contact, then takes it from there herself. it took her a long time before she managed to get the courage to kiss you tbh

one time when you two were in her office, amber walked in on you “distracting” jean from her work.

“y/n, i have to get back to work, please,” jean adverted her eyes from your gaze, embarrassed. she kept looking at the door, mentally asking herself if the door was locked or not and getting more nervous as the seconds passed.

you sat straddled on the young womans lap, her hands loosely placed on your hips. holding her face in your hands, you guided her face back to yours. “you work for way too long,” you frowned. “and i’m bored. there’s nothing to do in here.”

“the library is just across the hall—“

“if i read another book my brain will implode.” jean sighed and shook her head.

“please indulge in me just this once? please jean?” she stared at you blankly, her resolve quickly deteriorating. a couple of kisses couldn’t hurt, could it? she looked up at the clock in the corner of the room, then back at you.

sighing for the umpteenth time that day, she nodded. “just for a little while-“

before she could finish speaking, you pressed your lips to hers hurriedly, not wanting to waste any time. jean barely ever separated herself from her work, and refused to accept help from anyone else. you almost never had time alone with the acting grand master— you weren’t going to miss your chance now.

the kiss was not heated whatsoever, just very.. clumsy. and needy. on your part, at least. jean tried her best to slow you down, gripping your hips as her face heated up.

“jean, lisa needs you for somethi- oh,” amber nearly dropped the papers in her hands, immediately covering her eyes with it instead. you whipped your head around and stared at the girl wide-eyed before she spoke up again. “d-did i come at a bad time? i am so sorry, i’ll um. i’ll go now.”

jean couldnt look her in the eyes for WEEKS

it was painful

but overall, she likes physical affection, shes just nervous :,)

amber

amber LOVES touching you!! she’s 100% okay with pda. she isnt as forward as maybe kaeya or lisa, but she’s still rather bold. sometimes she forgets youre in public too, which ends up drawing a lot of attention to the both of you.

when you two go out on dates she is always touching you. hand in hand, arm around waist, whatever. theres always some type of physical contact, no matter what.

it’s so PAINFULLY obvious that you two are dating but for some reason she didn’t think that anyone knew ?? one time huffman saw yall kissing in an alleyway u really aren’t slick🤨

she loves cheek and forehead kisses, but likes receiving them more than giving really. shes a hyper one, and these kisses fluster her enough to make her quiet down. ( it’s so cute )

she often picks you up to hug you, spinning you both around in circles in an almost bone crushing hug. other than those times her hugs are really soft, but the energy is still there. ^^

have i mentioned that she is affectionate?? because she really is. she does respect your boundaries though, but if you feel uncomfortable you’re going to have to speak up on it because she won’t notice.

in private her clinginess is amplified by 10.

“i’m trying to cook, amber,” you mumbled, struggling to stir the paste sauce in the pot. all you were trying to do was make dinner for the two of you, but around 5 minutes ago she came up behind you and wrapped her arms around your arms and torso. you could feel her bury her face further into your back.

“mhm, and it smells really good too,” she hummed. you groaned, and she just giggled.

“i’ll be done in like, 20 minutes, amber. you can hug barron bunny in the meantime,” you tried to pry her arms off of you but she started whining.

“that’s too long.”

“no, it isnt,” you turned around with a spoonful of pasta sauce, motioning for her to open her mouth. she slurped the sauce and gave you a thumbs up.

“see? its good, right? well it wont get much better if you keep clinging to me so much,” she stayed quiet, but at least loosened her arms around you so that it was easier to move. you lightly patted her hand. “thank you.”

“whateverrr,” she drawled, and you couldnt help but laugh.

the pasta was in fact very good

in the end, shes the exact opposite of jean, and youll need to slow her down a lot :,)

albedo

as far as physical contact goes, it’s literally the last thing you will ever find on his mind. he’s too caught up with other things to think about physical affection

he does love you yes, but he doesnt show it through physical means. he does more gift giving, like when he sees a pretty flower that reminds him of you while going out to find starsilver shards.

if you want a hug or anything out of him you’re going to have to initiate it first— it’s foreign territory, and it’s not something he’s particularly interested in, so he doesnt feel the need to indulge in it

however the first time you two cuddle you can tell that he’s hooked. and he does a terrible job at hiding it.

now, he insists that you sit in his lap while he is taking notes because it “helps him focus better” and because “he’s so lonely”

we all know that aint true lmfao

he also really likes it when you play with his hair. please play with his hair, especially when you want him to get away from his studies. physical contact is completely foreign to him so something as simple as a scalp massage will make him melt 🛐

whenever he refuses to get away from his work, sucrose always asks you to step in because he wont listen to her

“y/n,” sucrose quietly approached you as you conversed with kaeya. you turned to her and nodded, albiet a bit concerned. sucrose never really needed you for anything, what did she need now that she couldn’t do herself?

kaeya took this as his sign to leave, but not before giving you a quick pat on the head. “yes, sucrose?” you said. “did something happen?”

she nodded meekly, watching kaeya walk off. a little bubble of guilt formed in her stomach from interrupting. “ah, i need your help with something. you see, mr albedo has been doing research non-stop on a new thing that has caught his eye since yesterday afternoon. i’ve tried to get him to put his research on pause, but,” she adjusted her glasses. “he doesn’t listen to me. i was hoping if you could maybe convince him to take care of himself?”

you pinched the bridge of your nose and sighed. he was doing it again. but you couldnt really blame him, he was terrible at keeping his hyperfixations under control. “i’ll take care of him, sucrose. don’t worry.”

she visibly relaxed at your words. sucrose flashed you a smile of gratitude, then waved and walked off to finish her errands in mondstadt.

—

it didn’t take him very long to notice your presence behind him. you were practically glaring at him, but there was no true anger behind it. wordlessly, albedo turned around in his chair and looked up at you.

you crossed your arms. “albedo,” you started, and it took everything in him not to sigh at the inevitable lecture.

“sucrose sent you, did she not?” he propped his arm up on the armrest of his chair, leaning his face into his hand as he gazed at you nonchalantly.

“of course she did. why aren’t you taking breaks?” he turned his chair back around, but you sat on the desk he was working at. you placed your hand on top of his papers and he shot a glare at you. it didnt phase you in the slightest.

“i have work to do. it’s much easier to do it all at once than stop inbetween.”

“have you at least been taking care of your basic needs? when was the last time you ate, or drank water?”

your eyes softened when he looked away.

hopping off of the desk, you grabbed his hand and pulled him away from his work ( gently, of course ). he barely protested.

you started muttering about how he needs to take better care of himself while pouring him a cup of water and making him a simple sandwich. he was a bit disappointed in himself for making you worry, and ate the food you gave him guiltily.

you pinched his cheek as he ate, giving it a light tug. he slapped your hand away playfully and a bit of the guilt he felt lifted when he heard your laugh. “i’m sorry you have to go through this for me.”

you shook your head. “you just need to learn how to stop yourself. you’re smart albedo, i’m sure you’ll figure it out in no time.”

he finished eating his food and, uncharacteristically, pulled you in for a hug. albedo rested his forehead against your shoulder, relaxing even further when you weaved your fingers through his hair.

“...i’m sorry, y/n.”

“stop apologizing.”

“okay. sorry. oh-”

you laughed.

#genshin impact #jean x reader #jean x reader genshin impact #jean x reader genshin #amber x reader #amber x reader genshin impact #genshin impact fanfic #albedo x reader #albedo x reader genshin #albedo x reader genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #is it obvious that i have a soft spot for albedo

[gremlinboykevin]

Eeeeyyy here are all the designs I have for Kiki so far ;v ;

I felt like drawing how he looked thru his story? Which isn't actually set in stone fully yet, but this is what I have so far.

The first one is around the ages of 16 to 18. This is when Kiki was part of Bon Clay's crew! Kiki met BonClay while he was working at a theater. They were so good with makeup and clothes, and when they met Bon Clay (and just adored him!) BonClay offered them kind of like... a job? To help him teach everyone in his crew how to expertly do the makeup and outfits needed for their disguises n' stuff! Kiki was part of the crew, but not like... I guess properly? Officially? Since they were there for a hired job. Kiki fit in w/ the crew tho, having felt what it was like to have a family for the first time in his life, and feeling like they owe so much to BonClay for this. However, they were slowly finding out more about Baroque Works and Mr.0 and... didn't like it. So eventually Kiki left, leaving only a long thank you letter to BonClay and running away. BonClay was sad about it, but they helped cover for Kiki so they could escape. Crocodile still sent out Robin to make sure Kiki didn't spill any important info or that him leaving could be of any threat... but really, what would Kiki even do? He didn't have any info that could harm them what so ever, so they just... left that alone.

Second one is how Kiki looked when he joined the Buggy Pirates!! Around this time, Kiki was in his early 20s (between 22 and 24) and basically... after meeting Buggy and KINDA falling head over heels at first sight of the clown, he ended up kinda worming his way into Buggy's good graces w/ a ton of flattery and adoration lmao;; Kiki had a huge crush on this clown who just danced and destroyed his way into Orange Town and KIKI COULDN'T HELP IT... And Buggy took him in! And they quite quickly became buddies! ; v; Also around this time is when Kiki was preeeetty sure they were trans, but only Buggy, Cabaji, and eventually Alvida knew about this.

Third one is when Kiki was finally fully out! ; v; Everyone in the crew knew he was trans and everyone was supportive and referred to him as he/him and respected that. Around this time is when Buggy finds out about Ivankov and his island but... while they knew this would help Kiki transition easier (they had found other lil things here and there but they weren't helping much) they were all um.... a little too scared to travel all the way out there lmao. This is also when Cabaji taught Kiki to use knives to defend himself and... awoke something wild in Kiki LMAO; This is when Kiki discovered his obsession and fascination for knives and blood. He wasn't really like some kind of yandere stereotype, he just... liked it. The color, the taste... and he was a complete gremlin about it lmao. It was more humorous than scary in the end.

And the last one is Impel Down Kiki! This one didn't last long at all? Kiki was "spirited away" in Impel Down. Buggy believed Kiki was gone, and while he looked for Kiki for a while, he couldn't find even the smallest clue Kiki was even alive... But Kiki had been taken by Ivankov and he helped him fully transition! Kiki got top surgery too, but tbh... he wasn't happy. Kiki had always been proud of how small and cute he was lmao;; He felt good looking so small, but having become this manly just felt... wrong. So, he talks to Ivankov and together they find a balance that makes Kiki happy! He becomes smaller again, but is still very much able to grow facial hair, his voice stays pretty masculine, and with the only side effect being his chest growing back the tiiiniest bit... But Kiki didn't care lmao. It was almost unnoticeable and he wasn't having suRGERY AGAIN... So this last design didn't really last long, but I still wanted to draw it ;v ; This is the last change in design before his current self! Also this is between ages 26 and 27!

#Kiki #Kiki the Clown #trans ocs #ftm OC #tho actually Kiki was afab but is actually intersex ; v; fun tiny fact! #I love hiM SO MUCH SOB #OCs #One Piece OC #One Piece OCs #OP OC #art #picture post

[writing-hazard]

The Place Beyond The Sky (Chapter 9)

Masterlist

Words: 782

Warnings: clumsy flirting, one (1) Sindarin word (probably?? Might be Quenya on accident tbh) that I can only pray I’m not using wrong

Pairing: Haldir x OC

When a strange human speaking a foreign tongue appears outside Imladris one day, it changes the fate of Arda forever. More than that, it changes the fate of Haldir, who finds his path hopelessly intertwined with hers.

(Alright! Tragedy over, back to the fluff <3)

IT’S A LOT TO TAKE IN. An empire among the stars, war, and horrors Hadir didn’t think were possible. But mostly, he’s still stuck on how it must be to live without feeling. Every time he settles on something, it occurs to him that even despair and emptiness would be lost in such a world.

It’s unfathomably cruel— and, well, just plain unfathomable.

“It would be soothing to know if you think less of me, now that you know the truth of me,” Aria— Sixty-Three?— Aria inputs, looking worried. He stares at her for a long moment, truly attaching her face to the monument of information he just received.

“Less?” He echoes. “Less? How could I ever think less of you? I— I—,” he slips into Sindarin suddenly, talking so quickly that she cannot even hope to comprehend.

“I despise to interrupt you,” she interjects, doing precisely that, “but I cannot understand a word of what you’re saying.” He takes a deep breath, then releases it, looking at her with considerably softer eyes.

“Aew, I think no less of you now than I did when I awoke this morning. I cherish you more than a dragon does its hoard, and the only force in this world or any other that could turn me away is if you were to wish it. For as long as I draw breath, as long as you allow, that will not change,” he pledges. For a moment, there’s silence.

“…is this marriage?” she wonders, her face twisting with confusion. He blinks at her, unable to even formulate a reply. “Pardon me if the question is unseemly, it’s just that I’ve read of marriage, and the concept of vows is very similar to the things you just said. I was just wondering if I had somehow missed some indicator; as far as I have heard, few marry without knowing first.”

A startled laugh escapes Haldir.

“No, Aria,” he assures her, not even trying to fight the grin forming on his face, “this is not marriage. If we marry, you will know; of that much, I can assure you.”

“Good, good,” she nods. “I hear there is a lot of preparation to be done before marriage, and I have learned far too little about the custom to be participating in it.” He shakes his head, enjoying the way she is.

“I would be more than happy to teach you if the need arises, but for now I am still trying to process that you do not have a name,” he replies, his tone turning more somber at the end of the sentence. She tilts her head.

“Of course I do,” she replies, “it’s Aria. And I should know; I chose it myself.” He stares at her for a moment, a soft smile forming on his face.

“Of course,” he agrees, “how silly of me. You’re right. Forgive me, Aria.” She shakes her head.

“There’s truly nothing to forgive,” she denies, smiling lightly. “If you’ll let me stare at you a moment longer, I’ll call us even.” A startled laugh bubbles from him.

“Was that flirting?” he wonders, amazed. She nods.

“Yes, it was,” she confirms. “A friend of mine explained the concept to me. One of the easier ones to grasp, I think. All it requires of me is to tell you how much I enjoy looking at you at the most opportune time.”

“You are very good at that,” he praises, “although I’m not certain if you knew, but you can also flirt about something other than looks.” Aria nods, lighting up.

“I did know, actually,” she reports, excited, “and I have many more in the works. However, this is the easiest to conjure up, since it’s so similar to things I have said before. Besides, you are truly my favorite thing to look at on the whole of Arda.” He catches himself before he can show it, but the repetition is starting to fluster him.

“The whole of Arda?” he echoes. “That is a very large scope.”

“Well, in honesty I have seen very little of it,” she admits, tilting her head to the side. “But I’m certain my words will hold true once I’ve seen it all.”

“Come with me,” tumbles out of his mouth, before he can stop the words. He’s not even sure he’d want to. He holds fast, nevertheless. “Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn are going to sail soon. Caras Galadhon will empty out. Let me show you the most beautiful places in Middle-Earth.” She barely blinks.

“I would love that more than I know words to express,” she accepts, practically glowing. He nods, a smile starting to form on his face.

“Good.”

Taglist: @roxiloveskpop @thegemoflasgalen @crispynerdbarbarian @thevanillahorizon @lathalea @bookworm925

#fantasy #galadriel #haldir #haldir x oc #haldir x ofc #haldir x reader #lord of the rings #lothlorien #lotr #lotr the place beyond the stars fic #sci fi & fantasy #sci fi #caras galadhon #haldir of lorien #tolkien #writing-hazard

[obeymehasinfluncedmythoughts]

Brothers as New Parents

Featuring Poly!Mc.

Guess who decided to finally finish this oneeeeee. I used my parents for inspiration for some of these. Sadly my getting knocked out by a carpet story didn't qualify 😔

Lucifer

Despite the name and the whole demon thing, Lucifer is actually a pretty decent father.

In the beginning though, he's really lost.

Like, the only baby he's ever raised is Satan and technically that doesn't count, so he's kinda confused here. Which really freaks him out.

Things get easier once the kid can finally walk, but don't expect Lucifer to really understand babies too much, or to like them either. They're way too noisy and dirty for him to actually enjoy. 

But that doesn’t mean he isn’t a good dad.

Sure, he's not amazing, no parent naturally is, but he isn't reckless with your child and genuinely makes attempts to keep them alive. 

He just, kinda waits till the kid isn’t spitting up daily or wearing diapers to actually like their company

Before that it just feels like another job. Or like he’s watching his brothers. 

He loves his child but, uh, he’s going to be the type of dad to forget which baby is his if we’re being honest. 

Mammon

He's really good a keeping babies entertained. Like, really good.

(Who would have known babies also like shiny things that jingle?)

Also loves to spend money on them. Like, legit any baby left under his supervision will be dressed in absurdly priced outfits. It's a little frustrating to wash these clothes, especially considering how dirty kids can get.

But besides all the spoiling and the playing, Mammon is clueless.

Like what do babies do?? What do they need? Are they supposed to sleep for that long??

He regrets not reading the baby books Satan recommended.

He's extremely clumsy as a dad, but in like that way where only he gets hurt but your child never does.

(Despite being so young, you're pretty sure the kid laughs every time he face plants.)

Likes to watch TV with the baby. The kid's probably seen every action movie known to man (and demon) by this point.

Leviathan

Levi isn't good with pregnancy, but he is pretty decent with kids.

Something about his personality really draws them to him

(Which is a great examination as to why most children must have to be taught how to share. Leviathan is a bad influence)

He kinda only ever takes over the "fun" parts of being a dad. Not because he doesn't try though. He does, really, but he often finds himself at a loss when it comes to dealing with spit-up or diapers or the little quirks babies develop.

Levi's the third oldest. He didn't have to deal with that stuff. None of them really had to, as raising angels is kinda a community effort. Seeing as Lucifer wasn't exactly the maternal type, he'd spent his years with his brother watching over kids. Never being beside them.

I think he's especially freaked out if he has a daughter. Like, he doesn't know what to so for the most part with any child, but girls are even more foreign to him, seeing as he's only ever had brothers. Well, besides Lilith, but she's a different story.

It's not really bad, he's just new to everything, but you'll probably give Lucifer an earful for not at least giving more responsibilities with Satan.

Most definitely gives his kid toy weapons and costumes to play with. They can't even walk yet but he's got a chest with princess dresses and lightsabers ready to go.

Satan

Satan is pretty much the most normal dad you could ever ask for.

Yeah, a normal demon, spell-casting dad, but norm nevertheless.

He's always the one to offer to take over your shifts in the night (He will not sub for his brothers though. They can fuck right off).

Buys you your first mother's/father's/whatever you choose to call your parental title's day gift because everyone else most likely forgets amongst the stress of baby.

Most DEFINITELY tries to do that whole "all natural" baby thing, but probably realizes a few days in that breastmilk is not only hard to obtain in the Devildom, but most demons don't really give a samn about cruelty free items (Mass produced cotton included).

^Asmo and him did this together btw. But Asmodeus did it for clout whilst Satan did it for the baby's health.

He'll dress his kid up like him. The clothes are still ugly as sin.

Asmodeus

Your kid will be internet famous before they turn five months old.

Asmo does not understand the word "privacy" or the concept of "not plastering his child's life for everyone to see"

But, you must admit, he does dress your baby up in the most adorable ways.

She might just be the only person he puts above the two of you, both as individuals, and as a couple.

(^I don't think all the brother's would think this way. Some probably still internalize their angel backgrounds or have even formed their own opinions onto where a kid places in a relationship. I might get into it more if asked but I'm leaving this here for now)

He does everything with the kid, when he has them, and if the child is biologically his (which will be extremely apparent), that kid will be with him all the damn time.

He wants his baby to be beautiful like his parents, but most of all, he wants his baby to be happy.

Will most likely turn into the exact definition of "the cool mom" from mean girls but that's far off from now.

Until then, he'll just stroll around the mall, showing his baby all the sparkly things they'll eventually love.

Beelzebub

Beel would have been a pretty normal dad if not for his more older-brother mentality.

Like, the guy has never really been around kids. He's been around Belphegor. Which isn't a huge age gap but there's still that looming protective older-sibling trait there.

He kinda sees the kid, no matter who or where it comes from, as just another sibling.

After what happened with Lilith though, he's more prone to be more protective over girls. He doesn't even recognize he's doing it tbh.

(There's actually a lot of open wounds regarding Lilith that show up in his parenting skills, but they develop a lot later)

He always has to know where your kid is at, but he doesn't necessarily need to be with them.

Like, he's afraid of something horrible happening, but he trusts his brothers, and you, to be able to handle it. He just needs the constant reassurance.

Very insistent on keeping a feeding schedule through, and is known to freak out when they refuse to eat, or get an upset stomach, or something along the lines of the digestive process goes wrong.

Beel is probably the best at bath time. Man can make some awesome rubber duck voices, and the plotlines he thinks up are very interesting.

Belphegor

The one the most scared to have a baby is the one who loves to spend the most time with the baby.

Why? Because babies sleep most of the fucking day. This is a great bonding experience.

And for some reason, you suspect it's due to his powers, the kid will sleep through anything when the two of them are together.

The minute they sleep in their room, or in a cot next to your bed, they'll be waking up hourly for some reason or another.

And it's like, you can't have the baby sleep with Belphegor all the time because if the kid genuinely needs some attention, he needs to wake up and make it known.

But damn are you tired.

Like you some how think raising a child with seven partners is harder than one, because no one should feel this exhausted when they are allowed to take at least three naps a day.

Outside that conundrum, he's a very quiet dad. He'll just sit by the baby and play with them, usually via rattle, enjoying the cute little noises they make and the faces that grace their features.

He'll miss this when the baby starts crawling.

#obey me #obey me! #obey me asmodeus #obey me x reader #obey me luficer #obey me leviathan #obey me mammon #obey me satan #obey me belphegor #obey me beelzebub #obey me x mc