#actually atertiary

[entropy-sea-system]

OK OK impromptu rant but I need to get this out there as I still feel somewhat connected to the aro community-

I have been watching the tags, I've been talking the people in my local a-spec community and I think it amazes me just how incredible the relationships put forth by aro and aces are, while the communities just don't reflect any of it.

I've stopped identifying with the aroallo label because there was no sense of community associated with it. The a-spec spaces are made for aces only and the ace stuff in them is abhorrent. I am tired of people passing it off as repulsion, while still seeing people saying "hookers" are disgusting in a-spec tags. I'm tired of people saying PDA is bad. I'm tired of people acting like aros and aces can only be clueless cinnamon rolls. I'm tired of people being so so so stuck in their own perspective of the world they act like people in romantic relationships can't be happy. So on and so forth.

The concepts we have are passionating. They're the coolest ones I've been exposed to in queer communities. However, nobody thinks about them. Nobody speak about them. All we have is endless messages about how the world is so so confusing or hatred directed at sex and romance. I get that but I wish we went even a tiny bit past that really. It's a community filled with adults that feels so immature and I honestly think there is some sort of self infantilization going on. I don't like that I don't have symbols that aren't associated with uwu smol bean dragon lover stuff. It makes me sick and is why I don't identify with it anymore but it's genuinely sad to see because technically that's still the people who will relate to me the most.

It feels like people are always desperate to understand how the norm works and how they can best align with it instead of fully experiencing their identity. And that's an understandable thing to do but the community is just that with sex and romance negativity sprinkled on top of it.

I wish they were angrier. I wish they were more introspective. I wish they thought about breaking the norms more instead of headcannoning every female character without a love interest as aroace and talking about how gross sex is. I wish I felt like I can connect with the people who are supposed to be at least partly like me.

Anyway you're cool and I hope you're doing well! Sorry to drop all of this onto you but yeah I trust you with my ranty feels about the community.

We didn't really expect this ask but thank you for sending it!!

There are a lot of issues with the aspec community, especially online, (we have no experience with irl ones yet). And what you described here explains the issues with it quite well.

I feel like most of the aspec community ends up catering to mainly aces, and to a lesser extent aros, and slightly to apls, while other atertiary is hardly discussed (and agender ppl often just lump w gender stuff instead even though its aspec). I think the community is also rather divided, personally.

We're in some discord servers w mostly other apls and aros/run by other apl aros (often also romo aro) and they tend to overall be normal about aspec identities without being negative about attractions or actions or gatekeeping aspec labels. Currently we logged off discord a bit but we have in the past been in aro spaces that had many of the issues you mention , and still come across people being that way on tumblr.

I think there is a problem where some aros think that calling romance inherently toxic is somehow "activism" and deny that romance negativity exists, then claim that they "don't have to consider every culture ever" when people state that some cultures are romance negative and do harm people for engaging in romance.

They seem to think its "punching up" and some alloaros in particular try to justify it by acting like the united states is the only country that matters and citing sex negativity as a reason for romance negativity "not existing". When aces do this about sex its harmful, but thats not supposed to be a reason to deny that being romance negative is toxic and harmful to others even if their country doesn't persecute people for engaging in romance.

I also personally see a some aros hesitant to id with ace or acespec terms that technically fit them because of how bad the ace community has been about sex and anyone who isn't ace, as well as aces and aros generally forgetting about atertiary ppl. Some of them prefer terms like lightspec or such or allospec partly because of that.

It's understandable that some people feel a disconnect from labels like aro and ace as a result of how the communities tend to be tbh. I've had moments when I didn't want to id as aro because of this, and I consider myself both aro and alloro due to my arospec orientation.

Also being tertiary repulsed and being repulsed by sex repulsion (it just happens to repulse me a lot to read about even if not stated in a sex negative way), makes it a bit hard to be around other aspecs. I feel really disgusted and triggered when other aros talk about squishes and qprs and friendships, even if I think they should be able to talk about that. Which makes it hard to be around some other aros.

I also get what you mean about people trying to align with the existing norm. I'm seeing a rise in people maligning labels they don't understand and this attitude of "the only kind of weird thats fine is the kind of weird I am", which the aspec community has certainly not been immune to either.

I feel like for some reason most aspecs I see online, especially aros, are minors? Maybe because the aromantic label only really caught on after 2005 iirc so older people less likely to have heard of it? Im not a huge fan of how aspec tends to be infantilised either. I find issues with how some of the aro symbols are very derivative of ace symbols because we are not some extension of ace we're our own community. I can also see how ppl may find it too infantilising to have symbols like frogs and griffons etc.

Also yeah what is with people doing that about characters who are women or girls and express that they don't want to get married??? Or even just don't have a love interest. I understand if aroaces want more headcanoned rep or non-aspecs I guess idk want to fill some headcanon diversity quota without actually supporting aspecs but.

Not wanting marriage or not having a love interest is not inherently equal to not wanting romance and/or sex. I feel especially that people like to assume not wanting to have children means not wanting sex (which I find pretty reductive in that its acting like thats the only reason ppl have sex, especially as a sex favorable person who doesn't want kids). And all aspecs deserve more canon rep to begin with. I think I have a gripe with ppls aspec headcanons almost always being alloace or aroace. It's like they forget other aspecs like apls, alloaros, neu aros, non sam aros, atertiary, etc. even exist!

Additionally I think its partly because romance is emphasized more for female characters that even fans decide to make their interpretations about romance/a lack there of as if its the character's only personality trait. In my opinion its just as obsessive about romance if someone thinks all there is to a character is not engaging in it. I also see people act like they're solely worried a woman/girl character is going to fall for a man/boy character they hc as aro but not often the opposite like. Just say you see romance as gendered/feminine in some way and go I guess lol.

I also feel like mainly allistic non-aspecs do this but when ppl hc an autistic character as ace or aroace it feels infantilising if theres literally no other rationale behind their headcanon. I feel desexualised at times as an autistic and thats mostly bc ppl pick up on some kind of nd thing and they assumed I'm too "innocent" to like romance or sex, or because they view us as "unable to consent"(which can be true of some people if their neurodivergence affects their ability to consent to things even as an adult, but isn't universally true.) . I think some of this perception is also rooted in eugenics (due to people equating sex with having kids and viewing disability and/or neurodivergence as a tragedy and thinking its 'bad' for disabled and/or nd ppl to have kids).

So I don't really appreciate implications that someone is ace just by virtue of being autistic. I think its also unfair to autistic aros and aces because our neurodivergence can influence our orientation, but being autistic does not mean that makes someone inherently ace and/or aro.

My physical disability is relatively mild and less talked about (chronic pain and fatigue), and I don't reveal it to most ppl(ppl who dont live with me won't know I get exhausted from non-taxing to abled ppl activities, and chronic pain is not visible at all and we can't get mobility aids due to not being independent yet) so Im not fully aware how people view my apl and aro identities in that regard.

And there is definitely an issue with aspecs trying to enforce NEW norms. They cry about how people are forced into performing romance and sex to fit in but then turn around and tell people they need to love or have friends or family or pets in order to be a good person. It's also very harmful to aspecs bc some of us are loveless or atertiary etc. in ways that aros and aces apparently hate lol. A lot of aros in particular are very platonormative.

The aro community is also rather hostile to romo aros. There are still people who exclude romo aros from the aro label or act like we have to bend over backwards and acknowledge that we are "amatonormative oppressors" for liking romance or feeling some connection to it.

I think also the meme about putting a box away on a tall shelf away from a child is relevant here. The word amatonormative is constantly misused by a lot of aros. I've seen aros call alloromantic apls "amatonormative" and act like "amatonormative" means 'person who engages in romance'.

Its not a term abt engaging in romance or liking it. It's also not an excuse to pressure people to have or like friends either. I think aros should have actual discussions about amatonormativity that aren't just US-centric and about romance(wow do aros love to ignore that monogamy, non-queer, cis, etc. are social categories deemed more valuable under amatonormative societal norms), instead of using it to describe anyone they deem as interested in romance .

On that note, a lot of them use some examples of toxic relationships as reasons to call romance toxic and almost advocate for romance to never exist(which is especially disgusting to see for me, as in my country a lot romance negative conservative rhetoric is literally worded the same way). These people almost never acknowledge that other relationships like friendship can be toxic too.

I think some of these people believe in 'morality of repugnance' in that they think if its something they personally find repulsive in some way, that means its inherently immoral, which is not conducive to having unbiased views of the world, or critical thinking. I think a lot of ppl my age and younger are especially trying to do this because Ive lost count of how many I've seen be like "ewww thats gross/weird and so its wrong/immoral", and literally spouting conservative rhetoric while thinking they're politically liberal/leftists, perhaps with different wording but yeah. (I think that one tumblr post abt ppl in that age range being 'conservative on accident', especially in the united states- though that is concerning given the way ppl from other countries tend to absorb american opinions and such too much, describes this phenomenon)

I think some aros are also still so caught up in how much of a tragedy they think their aromanticism is, and I feel bad for them but thats not all there is to being aro and its a bit weird when ppl act like it is.

I think one of the best things about being aspec for me is feeling more like I can engage in and not engage in relationships (Im only favorable to sexual partnerships w no label other than 'sexual partner', and romance only w two partners as of now, and completely averse to all tertiary/nonrose. before I fully realised my aspec identities i pressured myself to have friends and felt like I'd be obligated to be favorable to nonsexual romance if someone wanted that with me, to 'be an ally to aces', even though it repulsed me. I also felt obligated to want qprs especially after realising Im aro. Realising Im atertiary helped me stop forcing myself to want nonrose relationships.)

Anyways that was a lot of rambling but probably most of my opinions on the aro and some extent aspec community.

#aspec #aro #also lol if any aspecs see this and disagree w me just block me I dont need the drama #aromantic #actually aromantic #platonormativity #aplatonic #actually aplatonic #alloaro #aroallo #asexual #ace #arospec #queer #aspec community #aro community #atertiary #actually atertiary #nonfriending apl #asks #entropy answers #sonia-wah-wah #apl

[alastorsbroadcast]

I know someone that calls people their best friend upon a day of meeting them. Do people not get tired of faking? Pretending you love and care for someone? Are you really so desperate for friendships and connections that you will believe such an obvious lie, enjoy it, or even tell such lies of “you’re my best friend” to someone you met 1-2 days ago?

#ʚ☆ɞ stay tuned #aplatonic #atertiary #aspec #szpd #actually schizoid #I cannot believe people like this really exist.

[plato-repulsed-culture-is]

Intro Post

This blog is for plato repulsed people of any platonic orientation to talk about our plato repulsion !!

main @entropy-sea-system

Bodily 21

We support all system types (including endo, tulpa, etc.) if you don't, this blog is probably not one you would like anyway, because we don't agree with sysmed/anti endo views.

The flags in the icon and header are plato repulsed flags made by Rift from our system

This is not an advice blog, don't ask us for advice.

Any platonic orientation / unlabeled /etc. ppl who are plato repulsed may send in asks (apl, allopl, aplspec, unlabeled platonic orientation, etc.) (You're also included if you experience plato repulsion only sometimes or to varying levels !) . Also remember that not all plato repulsed and/or apl ppl are aspec in other ways or repulsed by other relationship types.

Plato repulsion is repulsion to friendship and/or other platonicism /platonic coded actions and encompasses a range of experiences. This blog does not tolerate any negativity towards any attraction or relationship type (i.e. please don't act like any relationship or attraction, including platonic is inherently harmful/bad).

Edit: Im too tertiary repulsed to answer asks that mention tertiary attraction and/or desire for tertiary relationships in detail, so I probably won't answer asks that have this and would prefer to not recieve asks of this kind. Note that this also applies to mentioning being in those relationships sorry if it was unclear before.

#aplatonic #apl #aplspec #nonfriending apl #plato repulsed #plato repulsion #friendship repulsion #friendship repulsed #aspec #actually plato repulsed #actually aplatonic #queer #Oh and apl exclus Im blocking you on sight lol #atertiary #aterspec #anonrose #atertiary spectrum #endogenic safe #sysmeds dni

[mo-rt4ry-gai]

BRIAR-ASPEC

briar-aspec is an aspec identity in which someone is both repulsed and cupio with the same or similar attractions, some may also call themselves apothi along with cupio. briar-aspecs can be of any partnering status

briar-physical

briar-physical is an identity for anyone who is both cupio towards a physical attraction and repulsed by a physical attraction they can be the same kind but do not have to be

briar-tertiary is an identity for anyone who is both cupio towards a tertiary attraction and repulsed by a tertiary attraction they can be the same kind but do not have to be

briar-emotional is an identity for anyone who is both cupio towards an emotional attraction and repulsed by a emotional attraction they can be the same kind but do not have to be

briar-mental is an identity for anyone who is both cupio towards a mental attraction and repulsed by a mental attraction they can be the same kind but do not have to be

(all coined by me)

[RADQUEERS DNI]

#aspec coining #briar-aspec #briar-mental #briar-tertiary #briar-emotional #briar-physical #mogai coining #actually mogai #a spectrum #aemotional #aphysical #amental #atertiary

[atertiary-culture-is]

Sorry to bother you, but could I ask what it's like to be afam? I'm realizing some of my behaviours seem kind of afam (openly not loving most* of my family, confusion and almost repulsion to my friend's "online mother", being uncomfortable with being compared to/jokingly called my pet's and my friend's family) but I don't actually know much about afam people and I'm not sure if this is caused by just having a weird (derogatory) family

*I like my aunt and my younger family and I guess my dad but even that feels different to how others seem to feel, aside from younger family. I'm not sure anymore, I guess it's better to ask and be wrong than to not and be right

.

Thanks for sending in this ask !

It is possible that you may find the afamilial label useful in describing your experiences, but you may also not find it a useful label.

Some of what you describe sounds like familial repulsion (which I also experience, but allofamilials may also experience and not all afamilials experience), and not feeling familial love. Afamilial includes disconnect from familial attraction / no familial attraction etc.

Both afamilial and allofamilial people may have familial trauma, or other bad experiences with family. Some may have perfectly normal or even good experiences with family. And some people may be afamilial due to trauma (labels like caedfamilial if one lost familial attraction due to trauma and have ptsd/cptsd, or erasfamilial for the same if they dont have ptsd/cptsd, are for that).

People describe familial attraction as wanting to be family with people, I don't know how it works myself though as Ive never felt it and I personally actively don't want to have any interaction w the bodys biological family or find found family, even if Im around them for financial dependence reasons rn.

Different afamilial people have different experiences, but I will talk about some things I experience related to my afamilial orientation:

-I don't wish to form familial bonds. I don't even want to consider my partners (Im allosexual and demiromantic, and atertiary) family even if I marry any of them at some point. I also don't want found family, and dislike that I live with the bodys biological family right now.

-I have never thought 'I want this person to be my family' or seen anyone 'as a parent/sibling/etc. figure', in fact even people who were that to me biologically I never actually wanted them to be that to me

-My orientation may be influenced by familial abuse - Im sick of how people get away with abusing me just bc theyre legally considered family

-It makes me very upset that, if I don't get married to another body, the bodys family will be given things like visitation rights or the right to make medical decisions for me if I am unable to, by law

-I never felt love towards the bodys family. When I was younger I felt really guilty for it, especially bc I didn't realise the bodys parenrs were abusive and I was constantly blaming myself for them abusing me

-For a while I thought that I only disliked the bodys family due to the abuse, but I realised I didn't want found family either

-The only way the 'found family' trope popular in queer media appealed to me was the idea of knowing other queer people, not being abused (though I am aware found family can be abusive too), and potentially having partners (back when I didn't have partners) - basically the family part itself did not appeal to me in the slightest

-I'm uncomfortable with being referred to as a sibling/sister/brother/parent/child etc. even jokingly - I also don't want to be a parent

-I genuinely don't understand how a spouse is automatically seen as family legally and socially. I view marriage as sexual and romantic, not familial, and if I were to marry someone I certainly don't want to 'start a family' with them

-I don't want to have pets either - both due to the way people assume pets become family, and due to being unable to take care of one (I know I can't handle that much responsibility for another life - like how I don't want to raise kids)

-I don't like being compared to people in the body's biological family - or made to feel like I cannot be anything more than who they are

My experiences are mainly of the no familial attraction, familial repulsed afamilial type so would not be reflective of all afamilial people

#afamilial #atertiary #aterspec #afam #afamspec #afamilial experiences #-Rift #anon ask #anon asks #afamilial questioning #questioning #aterspec questioning #aspec #abuse mention #familial abuse mention #parental abuse mention #family mention

[mourningmogaicrew]

Aphysical, aemotional, and atertiary recoins

(Original post is here)

Aphysical and aphys-spec

A term for someone who does not experience physical attraction. This person may also be asexual, nonaesthetic, and/or asensual, or they could experience those types of attraction without a physical component.

The aphysical spectrum (aphys-spec) is a broader label that also encompasses those who experience atypical (fluctuating, very little, fluid, demi-/auto-/fray-/etc) physical attraction.

Flag meanings are the same as the original aphysical flag. The aphys-flag meanings are pink-brown for atypical physical attraction, pink-orange for aphys-spec people who still have/want physical relationships, gray for aphysical identity, pink for ace/asen/etc-spec people, and purple for asexual/asensual/etc people.

Aemotional and aemo-spec

A term for someone who does not experience emotional attraction. This person may also be aromantic, nonalterous, and/or a(queer)platonic, or they could experience those types of attraction without an emotional component.

The aemotional spectrum (aemo-spec) is a broader label that also encompasses those who experience atypical (fluctuating, very little, fluid, demi-/auto-/fray-/aego-/lith-/cupio-/etc) emotional attraction.

If you don't like vowels next to each other at the beginning of words you can call this ‘anemotional’ and ‘anem-spec’.

Also, someone (AndleRandle on Fandom) actually already made an aemo-spec flag but I wanted an official/matching one instead. So sorry Andle! Your flag is fine I just wanted to make my own.

Flag meanings are the same as the original aemotional flag. The aemo-flag meanings are dark pink for atypical emotional attraction, pink for aemo-spec people who still have/want emotional relationships, dark gray for aemotional identity, blue for aro/apl/etc-spec people, and dark blue for aromantic/aplatonic/etc people.

Atertiary and ate(r)-spec

A term for someone who does not experience tertiary attraction. This person would also be nonamical, asocial, amental, axenial, adomestic, and a[any other type of tertiary attraction].

The atertiary spectrum (ate[r]-spec) is a broader label that also encompasses those who experience atypical (fluctuating, very little, fluid, demi-/auto-/fray-/aego-/lith-/cupio-/etc) tertiary attraction. The ater-spec can also include people who experience some, but not all, types of tertiary attraction.

However some people don't like the term tertiary attraction because it can imply that types of attraction other than physical/s3xual (3=e) and emotional/romantic are less important. The term eriattraction was created as an alternative and some Fandom users (idk who) suggested that atertiary could therefore also be called noneriattracted (and I suggest that ater-spec could be noneri-spec). Another suggestion to replace tertiary is non-rose. So atertiary could also be called anrose and anro-spec.

Flag meanings are the same as the original atertiary flag. The ater-flag meanings are purple for atypical tertiary attraction, blue for ater-spec people who still have/want tertiary relationships, light gray for atertiary identity, yellow for axen/asoc/etc-spec people, and orange-brown for axenial/asocial/etc people.

Notes:

-Someone who is completely aphysical, aemotional, and atertiary may be considered anattractional (not experiencing any form of attraction at all).

-What counts as physical vs emotional vs tertiary attraction is completely up to the individual! Attraction feels different to everyone and if someone wants to use one if these terms due to being on an a-spectrum that I didn't explicitly list on the definition that's fine. (Ex: an apresential person considering themself aphysical or aemotional instead of atertiary).

#mourn's orientations #aphysical #aphys spec #aemotional #aemo spec #anemotional #anemo spec #atertiary #ater spec #noneriattracted #noneri spec #anrose #anro spec #a spec #anattractional #ace spec #aro spec #tertiary attraction #attraction term #emotional attraction #physical attraction #term coining #mogai #lgbt #queer

[entropy-sea-system]

In light of how some people (including aros!) have been throwing certain identities under the bus in criticising the aro manifesto, I am making this post. Im demiromantic allosexual and nonfriending aplatonic, and lovelustic aro.

To start off, I hate the aro manifesto too and find issue with its queerphobia and romance negativity. However, this does not mean you get to throw romance repulsion under the bus (although Im not romance repulsed and am aro, I support romance repulsed aros and other romance repulsed people!) As it is not inherently romance negativity or queerphobia to be repulsed by romance! Romance repulsed people are great.

Now since that's out of the way, I want to talk about something that is a way even aros shit on certain identities. First of all I would like to say that the aro manifesto literally NEVER denigrates platonic love or nonromantic love, EVER(in fact it actually encourages it while tearing into romantic love). So you are not even making a point about the manifesto itself if you do this.

There are people who don't feel platonic love and/or nonromantic love. And we will always exist. Let's not be hostile to these experiences. It is not wrong at all to not feel any kind of love. Loveless people, whether loveless aro, loveless apl, loveless due to neurodivergence, and so on, are amazing and we should support these experiences!

Let me make that very clear. In fact it is also very okay to only feel romantic love, regardless of your orientation(reminder that some aros do feel romantic love, and in fact it may also be the only type of love some aros feel.).

It is also okay to be aplatonic or atertiary in other ways (Im aplatonic and atertiary myself, also adding that you do not have to be aro and/or ace to be these identities!) and/or feel a disconnect from nonromantic and nonsexual relationships. These identities do not exist just so some aros can feel better about themself by putting these identities down.

Do not reinforce platonormativity by treating friendship as mandatory. Friendship is optional just like romance is, even if you need friendship to be happy (which yes can be possible even though you like to shit on people who derive a lot of happiness from romance or feel way bettee when they have a partner, it is possible to feel a need for ANY type of relationship and that is okay!!), not everyone does! In fact some of us need to not have friendship in our life in order to be happy just like you may need to not have romance in your life for the same reason!

It's not the fault of loveless aros that aromanticism is seen as devoid of all kinds of love by arophobes/aromisics! Some aros fit the 'stereotype' of aromantics and that's okay. Its the fact that people assume all aros are loveless that is the problem.

There is nothing wrong with being loveless and please remember that loveless people still are not even accepted within the aro community. As much as being loveless is a stereotype used to malign aros, the identity itself is hardly respected within OR outside the aro community and you need to understand this. If you only give voice to and respect aros who experience a lot of nonromantic love, you are completely missing the point and are silencing loveless people in the community.

It is also ableist to use ableist slurs (especially slurs used against people with aspd) towards loveless people, especially since some people who are neurodivergent cannot feel love or feel a disconnect from love due to their neurodivergence (and no, we do not need to feel love or be completely devoid of neurodivergence or mental illness to be given respect!).

You will not become acceptable to society by doing this. To arophobes/aromisics, you are not superior to loveless aros, aplatonics, atertiary people, or other people with a disconnect from love or nonromantic and nonsexual relationships . They target all of us. Instead of looking down on people for not feeling love, or for not feeling nonromantic love, support all of these experiences and extend compassion to other people even if they aren't exactly like you in every way.

(Note: the term nonsexual is used here because some people who don't want some/most types of nonromantic relationships may still want sexual relationships that are nonromantic in nature, and I wanted to reflect that in the wording! And also because the aro community does not actually pressure people to want nonromantic relationships that are solely sexual!)

#aromantic #aromantic manifesto #aro #arospec #aromanticism #lovelessmisia #loveless aro #aplatonic #aplatonic aro #atertiary #aplphobia #aplmisia #platonormativity #ableism #actually aromantic #actually aplatonic #actually atertiary #actually neurodivergent #arophobia #aromisia #aspec #apl

[entropy-sea-system]

I can't value friendship because Im aplatonic, plato-repulsed, and nonfriending, and so I don't even want it to begin with. I'm atertiary, and nonrose relationships can never be a priority or even on equal footing with my relationships w my sexual and romantic-sexual partners (I'm alloaro and demiro) for me, because I don't even want those nonrose relationships to begin with.

Please include people like me in your idea of relationship anarchy because sometimes people really don't want a type of relationship and that applies to friendship as well, and other nonrose relationships like family, qprs, etc. You can't claim to support alternative ways of going about relationships and having boundaries and mutual respect in relationships, then turn around and act like everyone should have or want friends and be extremely affectionate with them or whatever.

#aplatonic #relationship anarchy #if you acknowledge romance and sex as optional but treat friendship as mandatory fuck you #apl #atertiary #platonormativity #this applies to amatopunk also btw #do you actually support ppl who dont have any type of love or do you just support aros and aces #aspec #plato repulsed #nonfriending aplatonic #apothiplatonic

[plato-repulsed-culture-is]

Plato-repulsed culture is being unable to easily find media that doesn't repulse you because almost everything has friendship in it.

#aplatonic #apl #aplspec #actually aplatonic #plato repulsion #actually plato repulsed #plato repulsed #apothiplatonic #plato repulsed apl #nonfriending apl #friendship mention #friendship repulsion #friendship repulsed #aspec #queer #atertiary #aplatonic spectrum #atertiary spectrum #aterspec #platonormativity

[plato-repulsed-culture-is]

This blog means a lot to me since I didn't even know I could call it platonic repulsion or an actual boundary to not like fluffy friendy stuff. Up until now I thought the right term for me was "flaming asshole"

I'm glad you found a term that fits !! And tbh thats kind of how I felt until I realised that plato repulsed and aplatonic are terms that ppl can id with and realised they fit me!! I feel like ppl think you must be misanthropic, or hate people, or are in some way immoral or broken if you don't like or relate to something people see as so innocent and essential to peoples lives, like they view friendship.

I feel like in media centered around 'the power of friendship' the villains who aren't 'redeemable' almost always just are characterised as evil assholes for being disgusted by and/or disliking friendship. (Some notable examples are Queen Chrysalis from MLP:FIM, and Eggman/Ivo Robotnik from Sonic The Hedgehog). And this isn't far from how people irl tend to view ppl who don't like and/or feel repulsed by friendship.

Plato repulsion is not really about directing hatred towards people who have or want friends, or even all people as a whole, and people need to understand that. It just means we feel repulsion towards friendship and/or platonicism, which is a morally neutral emotion.

Part of the reason I made this sideblog was to talk about being plato repulsed more and also allow other people to talk about their experiences with plato repulsion, because its not often discussed or even understood, especially outside of aplatonic spaces.

I think some ppl also assume that plato repulsion is just 'jealousy' of people who have lots of friends (I genuinely thought my plato repulsion was this before because ppl act like everyone has friends and if they don't they assume they want friends, or are friendless because people don't like them and not because they want to not have friends and/or have difficulty making friends, etc.). Or they assume we have to just find "the right people" to like friendship, when its not necessarily the case.

Sure, a plato repulsed person could realise theyre not plato repulsed later on, just like could happen w sex repulsed or romance repulsed, etc. But that doesn't mean this is the case for everyone, and that doesn't invalidate the experiences of those of us who remain plato repulsed. Plato repulsion is not something that needs to be 'fixed'.

Anyways, congratulations on finding a term that fits your experiences, and I'm sorry that society is not very respectful of boundaries surrounding friendship and/or people feeling negative emotions or repulsion towards it.

#plato repulsed #actually plato repulsed #apl #aplatonic #aplspec #aspec #friendship repulsed #friendship repulsion #plato repulsion #queer #plato repulsed culture is #asks #anon ask #anon asks #platonormativity #aplphobia #plato repulsed antagonism #plato repulsed apl #platonic repulsion #atertiary spectrum #a spectrum #-Rift

[entropy-sea-system]

ppl who actually include atertiary, aplatonic, afamilial, etc. when you say 'aspec' please reblog this if you are ok with reblogging

#rb bait #reblog bait #aspec #atertiary #sincerely an apothitertiary person who unfortunately has to witness ppl use aspec to only mean ace and aro spectrums all the damn time #aplatonic #aromantic #asexual #aro #ace #a #a spectrum #anonrose #afamilial #analterous

[entropy-sea-system]

As an atertiary alloaro, I just have to say that despite allosexuality being the default, people are extremely hostile towards it when its not accompanied by other attractions like romantic, platonic, etc. Especially the conformist queer crowd that thinks its so progressive to throw us under a bus as the 'degenerates' and 'perverts' the queer community is characterised as by bigots.

There's actually nothing wrong with being a sexual person. If you think that, thats on you. Ask yourself why you're so concerned about labelling ppl as 'perverts' or 'degenerates' just for liking sex or not having attractions that don't involve sexual attraction. Dragging down other queer people isn't going to make you any more 'palatable' to bigots.

#alloaro #alloarophobia #sex negativity #allosexual #atertiary alloaro #allox #aspec #before you kill me for being an allosexual and posting in the aspec tag or whatever pls remember that aro and atertiary are aspec. not all #aspecs are even ace lol #aroallo #aromantic allosexual #aplatonic alloaro #aromantic #arospec #atertiary #aplatonic

[entropy-sea-system]

I'm the kind of 'doesn't give a shit about nonrose relationships' person (bc I'm atertiary and repulsed by these relationships and have opted out of them!!) that allotertiary aspecs hate tbh... And I know they probably don't intend to be aphobic with this but it is literally aphobic towards atertiary people if you think not liking nonrose relationships is inherently evil.

You're allowed to be upset if people aren't valuing you in the nonrose ways you want them to, and you should ask them for what you want in your interactions(drops my 'communicate or break up' advice as an atertiary I guess) . But please don't malign people like me just bc we can't care about people in tertiary/nonrose ways, while you complain about this.

Just a reminder that, by the way, an allorose atertiary person or apl, afamilial, etc. person is just as aspec as you and belongs in the aspec community if they wish to. I'm just adding this because I see some of you acting like things like family or friendship are not seen as necessary and are not enforced as something everyone should have, even if in some places these may not be the most 'superior' relationship to society(reminder that some of us do live in places where friendship or family are seen as more required than romance though).

Even if larger society does not always conceptualise these as attraction, you cannot deny that people are expected to have meaningful interpersonal connections that are not romantic or sexual (see for example how people are expected to raise a family, have friends, etc.) . And besides, its not like people conceptualised of the concept of romantic attraction before the aspec community started talking about it. However, it is understood that romance was still expected of people back then. And its similar with nonrose / tertiary relationships and attractions.

Some exclusionists literally go out of their way to say that they think aros and aces are valid but think atertiary spectrum labels are bullshit. Don't think it benefits you to agree with them or to exclude atertiary people from the aspec community. Aspec includes atertiary and agender spectrums as well, not just aro and ace spectrums, so please actually meaningfully include us in aspec things.

#aspec #aromantic #asexual #crosstagging aro and ace bc you ppl have got to be normal about us #Im aro myself too but . wow other aros are not always normal abt atertiary ppl like me !! #atertiary #vent #aphobia #platonormativity #apothitertiary #nonfriending #nonfriending aplatonic #apl #aplatonic #nonfriending apl #aplphobia #relan #relationship anarchy #I started at relan and I guess Im here complaining about how aros and aces are not always supportive of aterspec ppl like me

[entropy-sea-system]

If i may ask, how does being plato-repulsed work exactly?

I can put together that it means you don’t like platonic relationships of any kind, but does that mean you have no friends and such?/gen i am actually curious

Yeah it does, I don't like having friends and am nonfriending (barely tolerated friendship in the past/in some cases assumed that just liking to talk abt my interests around others meant I wanted friends even though I don't, before realising I'm plato repulsed), and this other part isnt applicable to all plato repulsed ppl afaik, but Im also repulsed by other people talking about their friendships and by fictional depictions of friendship, Id rather not see/hear abt that personally. Platonic relationship means a relationship defined around friendship, to me.

It doesnt mean 'nonsexual/nonromantic' in the way its used in the apl community and the aspec community in general, in case you misunderstood that. (And I do only like sexual or romantic sexual relationships personally but thats more bc the only attraction I feel is sexual and, rarely, romantic since Im an alloaro demiromantic atertiary apl, and not solely because Im aplatonic) (and some other headmates are non sam aro apl, alloaro and not romance favorable apl, or non sam apl, so this identity isnt applicable to all headmates either, just some of the system)

(-Rift)

#aplatonic #plato repulsed #apothiplatonic #not all plato repulsed ppl are aplatonic but I am #apl #aspec #plato repulsion #plato aversion #nonfriending aplatonic #entropy answers #asks #anon #anon asks #anons #-Rift

[entropy-sea-system]

I think the reason I see a little less potential for any mh gen 3 ships w the guy characters is bc they're just.. not given much screen time?? like. Clankie (neither of them are guys and both characters get enough screen time on their own) is probably the ship that makes most sense in canon even if other ships also do?? Like. that tends to be why the ships I think have more build up happen to be nblw or wlw???

I think Like. Gil had literally hardly any screentime without Lagoona even if they both seem into each other and communicate with each other. And I haven't even shipped any mlm ships yet bc .. the guy characters hardly interact w each other as much as they do w the nonbinary and girl characters.

Clawd had more screentime than him, but I think he and Draculaura haven't had much interaction outside of like two episodes, and I feel the show focuses mostly on him being from Beheme and being Clawdeen's brother most of the time. I've heard other ppl say in concepts he was supposed to be an inventor and I feel that his canon characterisation isn't as fully fledged as it could have been.

I do still ship Dracugoona but. tbh I don't think they had as many moments after witch hitch to be honest. But I do ship it.

Clankie feels like the ship with the most moments. They seem consistently interested in each other and even if recent episodes don't have many moments the finale is literally mainly about Clankie so. It feels like I don't have to detail this one because everyone knows how canon has hinted at it basically.

I like Lagoona x Gil, and their interactions are cute but I think maybe we could use more screen time for Gil to actually like, know something about him other than a couple of hobbies he has. I don't think a ship has to be slow burn to make sense because romance just works differently for different ppl even irl!! Its not unrealistic for ppl irl to date without knowing each other for like months or years lol... so Idk why thats unrealistic in a fictional show anyway. I think similarly about Clawdulaura but the episode with the dancing and the one where the talismans go missing did make me ship them.

For most of the characters I don't really like easily ship them if theres no hints in canon but yeah. Like Im not in a rush to ship every character with someone, and Im arospec allosexual, and hc some of them as arospec and/or maybe just not wanting to date at the moment. I should also probably add that Im friendship repulsed and familial repulsed (atertiary also) so I'm not very invested in the friendships and family in the show. I think I mainly prefer to analyse the events and characters on their own and sometimes ships.

In the movies, after the second movie, I kind of ship Toralei and Clawdeen and feel they had a bit more chemistry at the end than whatever was going on with Clawdeuce.

I don't really care for claiming characters "are better as friends" or shipping them platonically or queerplatonically bc that repulses me and Im already just p much ignoring the stuff in the show that repulses me lol. (Also I know I could just.. not watch the show then, but its extremely hard to find media without friendship as a plato-repulsed aplatonic, and I like cartoons.) I'm more in the fandom for the world building and the events of the show, and characters, and a bit for shipping but the shipping wasn't really there until I saw the potential of Clankie tbh.

#aplatonic #shipping #mh gen 3 #clankie #dracugoona #lagoona x gil #monster high gen 3 #clawdulaura #plato repulsion #monster high #mh gen 3 ships

[entropy-sea-system]

People don't seem to realise that sexual and other social things are also social constructs, its not just romance thats a social construct. So much of existence IS a social construct by design because literally a lot of things are really the ideas we've built around things, that doesn't make it less real but if you call romance a construct, for fucks sake, don't assume that things like sexual stuff and friendship and family, etc. are somehow not also social constructs or are somehow "biologically" present !! Just because you feel like your involvement in sex and other nonromantic things is "biological" doesn't make that the truth, and its bioessentialist to pretend otherwise.

Just because you feel people can't "convincingly" define romance in a way that's sufficiently distinct from other things to your liking, doesn't make it the ONLY interpersonal emotion and action that is socially constructed !! Im allosexual, arospec, and atertiary, and trust me, literally all forms of social emotions and relationships etc. are socially constructed. Its not just romance (which, yes, can count as social because surprise! it involves interaction or perception of other people !!) , and not everyone actually has a social drive or a sex drive, for example, so its not like those things are "universal" or a "biological reality of being human" to begin with.

Also, there are biological components to literally ALL emotions and relationship types because how the brain and body works IS biology. I just mean to say that these are categorised and named and expounded upon as social constructs but obviously, will have biological components merely because how the brain and body processes emotions and interactions IS technically part of biology - and varies for different people. If you think only sex actually involves bodies think again, because there is sometimes still touch involved in other relationship types (and sexual actions don't always involve touch to begin with) and beyond that, literally every emotion causes effects in the body because thats just how brains work.

#romance #arospec #I hope I got my point across #bioessentialism #aromantic #social construct #romance is a social construct #aro #aspec #atertiary