#abusive behavior

[serethespider]

hot take but somebody being abusive does not make them an inherently bad person, and insisting it does makes it difficult for people to recognize signs of abusive behavior in people they consider good people and in themselves. it also gets in the way of understanding the underlying issues causing the behavior and working on them if your analysis of the situation stops at They're Evil. the problem is not the abstract underlying moral fiber of a person, the problem is the actions being taken and how they hurt others, and the solution should be to figure out how to stop those actions in the future, not to Punish the Evildoer

#abuse #abusive behavior #discourse and discussion

[deathsoundslovely]

Sounds exactly like my ex! I hope my future relationship(s) will be healthy and they will understand mental illness and not get annoyed with you because you’re falling apart. I felt so alone because of you

#breakup #ex boyfriend #apologize #prioritize #toxic love #toxic relationship #mental illness #surviving #I’m 1st place #not 2nd best #prioritize me #unhealthy relationships #future relationship #relationships #relationship #abusive behavior #gaslighters #fuck abusers

[marune2]

Ida Faust josele

Summary

The wive from Ida to josele’s curse and after the time

Warning mention of abusive behavior

Josele is @loosesodamarble oc

—————————————————

Ida did it zero take it well what josele did do to her self she didn’t remember even Ida not really just hug her but it whas out something what Ida didn’t understand really Ida did know from beginning this josele whas cursed because of her second Magic

Ida whas so mad at josele she did try to get something out of the past josele

Ida did begin to hurt josele attacking her and mentally

Ida bite’s her hiding her and other stuff to be fear at least josele did protect herself if Ida did do it’s did. end sometimes bloody for one of them because Ida didn’t stop and sukehiro needed to stepped in even

Ida did scream at josele she hate’s her to go to hell this she is useless now to fuc€ her self and this nobody love’s her and other stuff

Ida canon take it how josele became lifeless but then became josele josele

Ida did bite her as first reaction as she became a reaction she whas happy so she did do other hurtful stuff to get know how fare she is back

Nacht Needed to steps in whit yami and josele and Ida did NEED to have a seriously talk and they need to show how love is normally is shown after all the time

Then came the point ida did. know what she do is Bad at the point wo josele did. in a seriously talk whit her and Ida say really bad stuff to her this josele did even begin to cry after this did. Ida see how she became like her parents…..Ida did say sorry again and again and whas so close to take her self out in panic Nacht needed to pinning her down whit josele

After this did Ida completely stop talking for a moth and hide from josele but whit help from sukehiro and Vanessa did. Ida talk whit josele and did begin to heal at least whit josele even Ida don’t understand to show love really so she did do what Morgan did do to conform her but at least it’s did. going on

#black clover #black clover au #ida Faust #josele canty #nacht faust #yami sukehiro #morgen faust #vanessa enoteca #black clover oc #Dark #mental breakdown #abusive behavior #ida is mentally destroyed #josele Ida love you I’m sorry to hurt you!!!!!

[blackquillchillin]

Heard recently about some Manfred von Karma discourse, apparently some people are claiming he isn't abusive? Not sure where they got that impression, but thought it would be intresting to talk about. Let me know what you think.

I think Manfred Von Karma is absolutely abusive. Especially to Miles, but towards Franziska too. I also think Franziska loved him, she refers to the man as her papa after all. I think she does get to the point where she recognizes his actions for what they were, but struggles with still loving him anyway.

I don't think he was 100 percent abusive 100 percent of the time, either, because that's not typically how abuse happens. I think there were periods of honeymoon phase, and I think he did love Franziska in a way. (Mostly just because he seems more interesting as a character that way then anything he's done) but holds her to such a stupid high standard partially because of that, and partially because of his obsession with perfection. He does care somewhat about his daughter, but cares about his record more.

Abuse doesn't happen in a vacuum, and the fact that Franziska refers to him as papa means that there likely were periods where he was nice, or kind, but as we see from his dismissal of her in investigations (havnt played myself yet, but have seen some screenshots and the like) this doesn't make him less of an abuser, nor does it make him a better person. It just makes it harder for Miles and Franziska both to recognize, as children, what is happening to them.

#ace attorney #manfred von karma #franziska von karma #miles edgeworth #aai #not sure if its the first or second aai #verbal abuse #abuse #discussion of abuse #tw abuse #abusive behavior #bad dad

[unwelcome-ozian]

#abusive behavior

[thegayhimbo]

I have to admit that I get angry whenever I see people make excuses for abusers, whether they be fictional characters or real people.

#tgh opinions #tw abuse #abusive behavior #abusive relationships

[alukardtheabysswalker]

If I'm to ever leave you with something while scrolling through my blog or finding my posts randomly I hope is this:

Morals, good morals, even leftist morals, are NOT indicative of emotional maturity and responsibility.

What do I mean by this? Let me give you some examples from my life:

My parents have always been leftists. My mom's been to every strike and walk in there's been fighting for the rights of many, organized and even made Molotov cocktails for her comrades. My dad has always used his position to fight for social justice, especially for the legalization of free abortion in my country, to the point that in the 80s he left his political party because his colleagues considered him "too radical". My mom gives free education to needy kids and my dad uses his platform as a journalist to make topics that are politically important be heard. They are both deeply involved with social justice. They also have the emotional intelligence of a four year old and should have never had children. They ruined my brother's and I mental health and will not acknowledge anything of what they did.

My first friend group from my teenage years was the most toxic, abusive, misogynistic, homophobic and probably all kinds of bigotry there was. We treated each other badly and attacked each other harshly. You know what was one of our favorite shows to watch together? Steven Universe.

We ate that shit, we loved the characters, we would sing the songs about compassion and love and go right back to making each other miserable. It got so bad that one of them was a fan of "What's the use of feeling blue?" You know, that song that's about how you can't keep your emotions bottled up because they will eventually rise and hurt you even more, so it's sung from a character's POV that's trying to argue that emotions are useless but by the end of it she can't hold back anymore.

He LOVED it, but not the actual message no. He loved that there was a song about how cool it is to not feel anything and how sensitivity is stupid.

Another friend who in my early twenties basically got me into feminism. He very calmly helped understand the issues with the patriarchy, he introduced me to Judith Butler and we had a workshop about gender, sexuality and gender roles. He also loved SU deeply, got all the art books and comics and made posts thanking Rebecca Sugar for her thoughtful representation of LGBT people.

He shut up a mutual friend who was trying to come out as bi telling her she was "probably confused". Later he gaslighted me when I was worried that our friend group might not like me, telling me it was all in my head and that I had to stop being so paranoid, to then talk shit about me behind my back and convince them to kick me out of the group like we were some kindergarten kid's band.

I could go on but hopefully I made my point clear.

And btw this is not an invitation to right wingers to comment "ohhhhh see? The left is just as bad/See? Y'all are hypocrits". No, shut the fuck up, this is not about you, at best you are someone who desperately needs therapy and it's making it everyone else's problem and at worst you're a Nazi so I don't give a fuck about your opinion.

The point I'm trying to make is that emotional maturity requieres work, and many people are not willing to make it. But if you are, you need to be aware that even if those around you or the new people you meet have morals that align with yours doesn't mean they can't be shitty people who might hurt you. For your own good you need to be clear in communication, setting boundaries and leaving when someone is just not good for you.

#emotional maturity #emotional responsibility #emotional intelligence #abusive behavior #I am not quite sure how I should tag this post so I'm going with these ones for now #hope everyone else out there is safe #i love you so much 💜

[sweetfirebird]

TW: Abuse mention. Addiction mention. Brad Pitt.

Uh, I'm gonna add it to xkit to block it, but as a warning, I block Depp apologists and Heard-mockers here, and I will also be blocking Brad Pitt defenders. Like his movies, don't like them, whatever, but you excuse or defend his actual real life abusive behavior, or blame AJ or the children(!) for it, then you are blocked forever. News outlets are, of course, trying to downplay the statements about him, but I read AJ's statement about the jet incident, and as the child of an abusive addict, that shit was textbook and traumatizing.

#brad pitt #johnny depp #abuse #addiction #abusive behavior

[noisypizzadream-ventaccount]

#personal vent #addiction awareness #addiction recovery #domestic violent relationships #abusive behavior

[chemicalarospec]

If the people who follow me here don't know, Twitch streamer Shelby/Shubble recently opened up about a past abusive relationship of hers. (I have a general thing to say, so I'm posting here on main but that's the context.) The main abusive behavior she talked about is that her boyfriend would bite her until she cried out in pain, leaving bruises, every day. What stood out to me is that she said he (and their friends) brushed it off as his quirky way of showing affection.

Because I've seem memes here on tumblr about "the neurodivergent urge to bite your friends" and stuff and well... That cutesy quirk-ification of violent behavior is exactly what normalized biting in Shubble's relationship.

It makes me feel like this is one of those behaviors associated with autism (bc I do think it's mainly associated with the autistic niche of neurodivergency) that isn't irrationally stigmatized, but genuinely is harmful and disordered. Like,,, I don't want to take an extreme stance here and offend people, just maybe if you're neurodivergent and bite your friends and/or partner as an "affectionate" behavior, really really make sure that they WANT to be bitten and you're not hurting them at all. (Outside of 100% consentual mutually desired kink stuff,) Causing pain shouldn't be an acceptable alternate form of showing casual affection.

#abuse #biting #autistic #neurodivergent #relationships #abusive behavior #i said this #physical abuse cw

[catharsiswritings]

Sunflowers

How do you deal with a sister who has, as far as you know, never demonstrated sincere regret for any of her actions at any point in her life? This is someone who feels no remorse, no guilt, and if you try to respond to her bad behavior- her response is/was an indignant rage.

When she was younger she was downright sadistic. She's destroy things just to torment me, steal money from me without any remorse and when confronted she's sort of smile with flippant indifference and tell me to "fuck off" or worse, return my anger with her own hateful rage. She'd scream every epithet at me she could think of.

Despite today outwardly being very progressive, she is the only person in my family to ever called me a f**g**. She did it on many occasions, usually when mad at me. She would call things I like "gay" in a pejorative way. She would mock me, and she did this usually because she was just annoyed with me one way or the other. Maybe I was playing piano too loudly or too much, maybe I being an annoying 10 year old kid. Either way, those hateful words stuck with me. I've never forgotten them, or the mocking way she would say it. I can hear the words now, even in my (late?!) thirties.

That was, mind you, 25 years ago. The late 90s and early 2000s were different. Being gay was still incredibly taboo. People didn't talk about it openly in suburban America. Of course I was, and am gay, but I didn't really know it then. So when my sister spewed that vitriolic "Gaaaay!" or "F**G**!" at me, I was really burned into my mind. I don't think Liz was particularly homophobic as a teenager, she probably didn't care, but what Liz did want to do was hurt me. She delighted in trying to hurt me.

I'd play piano a lot as a kid. I'm sure it was annoying to her. Hell it'd be annoying to anyone in the house. My favorite composer was, and still is Debussy. I remember how she loved to mock me by saying "Debussy was gaaaaay", "Piano is gay". Again, I don't think she cared, she was just trying to get a rise out of me. But that was really mild. That was nothing. When she really showed her true colors was when she'd try to slam the piano keyboard cover down on my fingers. She tried to do that a couple of times until she actually hit my fingers one time (I didn't dodge it fast enough like I had the first few times). It hurt like hell and when I screamed at her she backed down and left. I think the only reason she left was because she was worried she'd get in trouble for actually hurting me. I was fine, the wooden keyboard cover had just bonked my fingers pretty badly, but it was blunt and not so heavy, so by itself it didn't cause any damage. Had she done what she had before, when was slam it closed with her arm, she could have probably broken my fingers.

The little gay boy I was, I loved gardening, and most of all I loved sunflowers. I loved how big almost tropical they seemed, and how massive their flowers were. I wanted nothing more than to grow rows and rows of giant sunflowers as a kid. I tried growing them a lot as a kid. The cool and rainy Seattle climate didn't really do them any favors and usually the slugs would get to them before they could establish. Every now and then though, they'd actually grow. I grew a row of them on the back fence. Some of them actually took off and bloomed. And then, right when they were starting to bloom, someone took scissors to them and cut their heads right off. I was devastated. This sensitive little gay boy cried. My sister blamed the neighbor girl Barbara. I was mad about it but part of me wondered if Barbara actually did it. I hardly knew her, why would she do that on someone else's property?

The next year it happened again. Cut down before I could ever see them bloom. That confirmed it, I knew it wasn't Barbara. It was Liz. Liz just wanted to see me cry again. Again, she just wanted to hurt me. I was angry, but I knew if I let her know it was her, she's react not with guilt, not with remorse, but with rage. I couldn't let her know I was angry, so I buried it, because if I let her know I was angry, she's make my life hell.

I didn't try growing sunflowers again until she moved out, and I never planted them with the same exuberance . After she moved out and before I went to college I was able to enjoy a couple of years of flowering sunflowers.

I understand that as developing children we all have varying levels of empathy and understanding for others. Usually kids are pretty self-centered and lack empathy when really young, and as I understand it, as their brains develop, so does their ability to understand other points of view and empathize for others. Some people never develop this. There's a fair number of people remain devoid of empathy their whole lives. Liz was in her teens when the above mentioned things happened.

I wonder often how much I'm like her. We share most of the same genes I figure. A few years ago she mentioned that her DNA test said she had the "warrior gene". Might I have the same borderline sociopathic tendencies that she does? I have to remind myself that there are lots of things I regret in life, people I have hurt and regret hurting, and mistakes that I wish I could undo. I also have empathy for the pain of other folks. But all the same, I try to keep this in my mind- don't be like her. Don't act like she does.

I own a house with my partner now. I'm trying to figure out a good place to plant some sunflowers next year.

#sunflowers #abusive behavior #homophobia

[rvllybllply2014]

Idk

Manchild is back with me and he’s already drunk. He was mad that I didn’t pick him up last night from his moms, he was over there until 9:00pm, I have night blindness and can barely fucking see at night. He called me and demanded I come get him after he had already said that he was staying over there earlier in the day. Today he said he doesn’t respect my mouth, haven’t said anything to him other then to point out I can’t drive safely at night and someone else at his moms could drop him off at my place. His excuse was his sister had his niece and nobody would watch his niece and his sister was already out dropping off their younger cousins back at their house. He acts like the safe neighborhood his mom and sister lives in is dangerous with kidnapping and gun violence it’s not. He then said that he should piss in me because every other dude does, no he’s the only person I have sex with or not have sex with. He also said that his dickhole is huge and causes a mess because he hasn’t had sex in a while, I don’t have sex with people who disrespect me. Now he’s also acting superior because he made me quit my job and says I haven’t paid for shit in 2 years the first half of the relationship I was working a full time job and two part time jobs for two years and the little bit of money I had left went towards a final vet bill for my dog who sadly passed away. It was so peaceful without him, I honestly want to get rid of him but buy “his” dog off of him. I’ve been taking care of the dog more then he has. But he claims the dog is $500 when he would’ve gave it to his uncle’s girlfriend for $200 in payments. He constantly threatens to get rid of the dog, which I am sure is another form of psychological abuse on his part he know how much I love the dog.

#personal #dealing with a manchild #text post #abusive behavior

[idolomantises]

Nifty and Angel Dust Redesigns

[Patreon]

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel redesign #angel dust #nifty hazbin hotel #my art #between the creator’s toxic online behavior and multiple workplace abuse allegations #I don’t really feel comfortable with making more of these redesigns #even if they are a lot of fun #so these are my last ones!

[nicxxx5]

i don't know what to do. i don't know what to fucking do.

my parents are in a terrible relationship. i blame most of it on my mother. she is abusive. all i remember from my childhood is her taking her anger out on us because we wouldn't listen to her. she called us horrible names and said horrible things about us. she claims that we disrespected her and abused her. we fought with her as we got older. we grew up with her calling us bitches, cunts, pieces of shit, trash and she made homophobic comments. she's even told us she hated us. we called her a fucking bitch, and cunt and told her we hated her as we fought as we got older too. where do you think we learned that from? she goes back and forth so much. somedays everything is fine and she's getting us gifts, then next day we could be locking ourselves in our rooms trying to hide from her.

her and my father never agreed on how to parent us. she wanted to use force and smack us to get us to listen and my dad didn't want to. he took away things and put us in time out, but my mom would undo the punishments and let us go or give us our stuff back before time was up.

my dad is not the hero of this story either. he never hit us of called us names like my mom but he didn't listen either. if we fought with each other or my mom he didn't side with who was objectively right. for example, i call my brother/mom and bitch and they hit me in response. instead of them being overall wrong for hitting me, he asks me what did i say that caused them to hit me. i'm the guilty one for instigating even if the argument wasn't started by me in the first place. he did this to all of us including my mom.

my parents fight with each other all the time and neither one can take responsibility for what they've done. my mom spins this narrative and tells people my father has turned us against her and that we all abuse her. they both complain to me about the other but neither one will listen to what i have to say. they've given up before even trying to fix their problems. they say they cant do couples therapy because the other one will disagree with the therapist and not go back.

i don't know what to do. i'm tired of my parents pin ponging their problems back and forth through their children. i'm tired of them acting like children. i'm tired of my mother's abusive behavior. i'm tired of my dad not doing what he needs to do. he tries, but he wont take the simple advice that's right in front of him. instead he wants to do things his way even though that doesn't work. i don't want them to get divorced. i want them to fix their problems. but i'm so fucking tired and i don't know what to do.

#tw abuse #tw childhood abuse #tw domestic abuse #tw parental abuse #abusive behavior #parents #abusive parents #tw name calling #tw vent #vent post #tw trauma #trauma #child abuse #fighting #parents suck #parenting #tw hitting #i dont know what to do #im so overwhelmed #i wanna cry #but i actually dont have time to cry #thats not a joke either because im so fucking busy #but my parents keep dumping their shit on me #then refusing to acknowledge any help or fix it #vent

[unwelcome-ozian]

do you have any advice on how to avoid repeating abusive behaviour? i worry often about subconsiously mimicking my abusers behaviour to my loved ones. i dont want to be like them, but sometimes i find myself doing the same things, for example like asking them to explain why something ive done is hurtful since i struggle to understand sometimes. im not trying to be bad but it scares me when i think about it (ps its nice to see josha around again. i hope everything has been well with them)

I think you’re well on your way to change behaviours that are or may be abusive. Acknowledging that this is something you would like to work on and having insight into it’s something that you may do or repeat.

Sometimes when our actions or words hurt someone and they say something about this it would be nice to have understanding. Sometimes it's hard to understand and I encourage you to work towards seeing things from their perspective.

Other times taking responsibility, apologise, and working towards and not repeating the behaviour without understanding is alright.

Asking someone you’ve hurt or offended can come across as accusing, minimising, not wanting to take responsibility, and a further attack. People tend to dislike having to explain the reason something hurt their feelings unless they feel very comfortable being vulnerable in the relationship.

One thing you could try is asking someone else their thoughts on the reason what was said or done was hurtful and not ask the person involved. Getting feedback from someone outside the situation who is neutral can provide more insight.

Oz

#answers to questions #abusive behaviour #abusive behavior

[lostmf]

#sadnees #tw depressing thoughts #i'm sad #depressing shit #childhood trauma #childhood #depressing life #quotes #tw depressing stuff #poetic #complex ptsd #childhood ptsd #childhood truama #toxic relationship #emotional abuse #narcissistic abuse #tw self destruction #self h@rm #tw self destructive behavior #tw: sucidal thoughts #wound tw #tw ptsd #generational truama #daddy issues #tw abuse #heartbreak #this is a cry for help #help plz #ptsd vent #tw truama