alukardtheabysswalker

[alukardtheabysswalker]

Photoplay, October 1954

[alukardtheabysswalker]

remember when buffy the vampire slayer made it canon that if you're too unpopular in high school you turn invisible. and that the fbi is recruiting these invisible children to train as assassins. and then it just never comes up again

[alukardtheabysswalker]

me when i log onto www.youtube.con

[alukardtheabysswalker]

Clint you've got to be fucking kidding me

[alukardtheabysswalker]

An absolute badass

[alukardtheabysswalker]

i cannot possibly be the first person who has had this idea

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[alukardtheabysswalker]

Fireflies photograph in trees with long time exposure.

[alukardtheabysswalker]

You have to careful about masturbating to your imagination cause god doesn’t know about imagination so he will assume you are jacking off to whatever is around you like dust, a dead bug, birds nest. And if you jerk off to a poisonous bug (or if god assumes you have) then you do go to hell

[alukardtheabysswalker]

“I’ll just rest my eyes” is the biggest lie you’re going straight to snorkmimimi land

[alukardtheabysswalker]

thinking more about authorial insecurity in fiction... it truly is frustrating to me when an author is clearly ashamed of their own premises, or is preemptively responding to imagined criticism. this is where you get a lot of unfunny humor about how stupid genre conventions are and how Unrealistic fantastical/speculative elements are. like ultimately the reason that authors undercut and overexplain their own works is because they're insecure about audience reaction and want to get ahead of the haters by proclaiming that they're Not Cringe. this will not work because I, the ultimate hater, will eventually find them and make one million posts about how much I despise irony poisoning

[alukardtheabysswalker]

Out of curiosity and also guilt over my own coffee intake. I wanna ask:

Now I'm not talking about when you're studying and so you drink 3x the usual amount or something like that. This isn't me asking what your record is. I'm talking about the most basic, average day, how many coffees you drink?

#tea is what i drink #and i only dont do mate every day like a normal argentinian because it feels like too much work #that being said the real problem is that i can't afford actual good coffee #if i could i might be doing it more often

[alukardtheabysswalker]

there is always tomorrow

[alukardtheabysswalker]

-Recording begins-

Spider-Man: Hi folks! I’d like to give a PSA to my usual villains, and anyone else with ideas for the next two months.

Spider-Man: *holds up a brick sized lump of metal* See this? It’s titanium!

Spider-Man: *starts flattening it out and shaping it*

Spider-Man: See, we all know that I’m crazy strong, but I never wanna really hurt anybody right? Right. While that hasn’t changed, something very important does right around this time of year.

Spider-Man: *pulls off a glove and pulls a chunk into a long stem with his nails carving lines for added texture*

Spider-Man: See, this is what we like to call exam season. Anybody who knows anything about college can tell you that it drives people up the wall, and I already climb mine when I’m antsy.

Spider-Man: *starts winding the thin sheet around the stem, delicately crimping petals in place*

Spider-Man: I do wanna be clear that this isn’t a threat, okay? I’m still not interested in crossing the line, which brings me to my point.

Spider-Man: *throws the titanium rose at the brick wall behind him, stem first, and embeds it all the way through*

Spider-Man: /That/ was restrained because I could focus enough to have full control. If I’m extremely tired or otherwise distracted, there’s just as much risk of me slipping up as someone operating heavy machinery. I’m probably not going to remember what sleep is for two whole months, so remember!

Spider-Man: *pulls out a brick and snaps it like a cookie*

Peter fucking Parker: Don’t.

[alukardtheabysswalker]

obsessed with the april fools day joke from the another crab's treasure devs

[alukardtheabysswalker]

MY PARENTS ARE TAKING ME TO DASHCON AS MY CHRISTMAS PRESENT! AHHH

*loudly sings it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas*

[alukardtheabysswalker]

#lion