#That’s such an old cringe meme sorry

[ch3shire-rabbit]

I know you said official media is preferable but this edited picture of Panchito from fur affinity always finds me when I google search him *skull emoji* and it cracks me UP

AHEHUEHUEHU WHY IS HIS ASS SO BIG 😭😭

#Thank you this made my morning <333 #CRYING WHAT’D THEY DO TO HIM #crisp talks #the three caballeros #asks #panchito pistoles #*panchito voice* hmmrg donald i’m trying to sneak around but i’m dummy thicc and the clap of my ass cheeks keeps alerting the guards /ref #That’s such an old cringe meme sorry #That was like. The first thing that came to mind #PAQUITO QUE PASO

[im-ro-yo]

i love shitposty oc x canon stuff

here's Spy and Rook

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #spy #tf2 spy #spy tf2 #blue spy #oc #self insert #art #digital art #original character #tf2 self insert #tf2 oc #gay men #I'm in love with fictional old men #low effort sorry guys #i am cringe but i am free #disabled artist #queer artist #relationship dynamic meme #oc x canon #self ship #self shipper #oc x self insert

[bambooshuohuop]

zhongli would be the type of grandpa that while he doesn't have a secret stash of money to give his grandchildren (he's still broke /hj 😔), he will instead make them sit around him— said grandpa perched on a creaky, old rocking chair as he gives valuable life lessons for the next generation to learn from. his experience makes him somewhat able to weave his words enough to make it interesting for the youngsters. so almost everyday in a lovely afternoon, zhongli's grandchildren can be seen huddled all around him; obviously charmed by his stories and calming voice.

~~

zhongli's own kids wondered where in the world had their children had gone to. when the finding took a while and they began to panic, all of them rushed to their father's home— knowing well that zhongli still has connections to help find their missing children.

as they reached zhongli's humble abode, all their panic turned into mush as they see the chaos unraveling before them.

❛grandpa, what's 19-6?❜

zhongli blinked, glancing at the child studying in Grade 3. he pondered for a moment, wondering if the school curriculum has changed or— ❛hm.. has your school teacher neglect teaching you, young man?❜

said kid blushed as he hears the quiet snickers of his cousins. though as he glanced back up to zhongli, he could genuinely see the worry in his eyes as they held their homework paper.

❛no!❜ he replies quickly as he thinks of a plausible excuse [he just wanted to listen to his grandpa and no one else :,( ]

❛I just don't get it, gramps.. school is so hard! help me, please?❜ he then whined.

zhongli couldn't help but cave in. his grandkids are just too cute. he was charmed with their puppy eyes that it makes him remember the good old days with his own children. which by the way, glued themselves by the front door.

❛what are you lot doing here?❜ zhongli questions, though he held no malice as he shuffles the children's homework paper around.

❛nothing, just thought we could hangout too- haha..❜ they replied, wiping off the sweat from the previous panic phase.

❛alright then, make yourselves at home.❜ zhongli ushered them down the cushions. though he couldn't move much apart from the small distance created for him as the children huddled all around the living room.

❛grandpa!❜

❛yes yes.. I'll help you, little one.❜

zhongli sighed, giving a side-eye to his own kids wondering why they couldn't teach their own children instead. though now that he thinks about it, he didn't mind the company the grandchildren brings on his home.

❛alright,❜ zhongli breathes in, eyes focused and brows furrowed on the math question in hand, ❛Johnny has 19 bottles of dish soap, and gives Gina 6—❜

overall, zhongli felt his heart beaming in pride when his grandchildren's grades are full of A's.

#zhongli #genshin impact #idk how to tag this #old meme but i still love it #grandpa zhongli #grandfather #fluff #children #childhood #grandchildren #this is cringe #im sorry you had to see this #zhongli genshin impact #fiction #genshin fanfic #i love commas #sorry not sorry #school #homework

[groundbreakingdot872]

#i have literally no excuses for these #just felt like recreating old 2000’s style memes for no good reason #sorry if you see these 🤧 #bbc merlin #I can’t defend myself lmao #bbc merlin memes #<- cringe edition

[tamiisnthere]

Altaïr could give an "I Like Ya Cut, G" slap on Robert de Sablé's head in their final fight to finish him.

#sorry I'm not creating artworks bcs my old laptop monitor frezzes when I'm doing something like playing video games or even without reason #plus artblock again... #I also have my last working week when my contract ends; so I will be unemployed again ;-; #at least I will have enough money to buy a new laptop <3 #Assassin's Creed #Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad #Altaïr #Altair #Altair Ibn-La'Ahad #Robert de Sablé #tamiisnthere's thought #shitpost #assassin #templar #cringe #meme

[concerto-roblox]

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Goncharov. The symbolism is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of Russian and Italian literature most of the intricacies will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Goncharov's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily fromNarodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these references, to realize that they're not just actions- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Goncharov truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the depth in Goncharov's existencial line "It’s Gonchin’ time," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Matteo JWHJ 0715's genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a Goncharov tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.

#ik this is an old meme but with the goncharov renaissance going on i just had to sorry #although it is quite impressive seeing how much knowlege jwhj has on russian and italian literature #i guess that's what inspired him to write goncharov in the first place!! #goncharov #lo straniero #goncharov 1973 #copypasta #unreality #how to be cringe 101 #goncharovposting

[quarterprioritymidnight]

#sorry for using this cringe old meme format #but poet my beloved ❤️ #dans dad is so much stronger than me if i heard my son singing that in his bedroom id have him committed #that song is insane #anway sorry bastille besties i am not going to spend £100 on ur ugly merch i dont have a record player #(spends 400 quid going to another country to see them 🤗) #personal #also respect for dan bastille for getting me to sign up for text updates and then not texting me love that

[sage-hendricks]

Finished watching Nimona. Now comes the part where, like all pieces of media that strike a direct hit on my gender bullshit, I get stuck in an emotional divide by zero error for three days and then nothing comes of it.

#i think i live my entire life framing all of my experiences through narrative because in narrative things have resolutions #and there's room for things like irony and poetic justice #and i dont get to have those things #because they probably dont really exist i guess #so it's basically a choice between death or fiction and then death later! #im a 31 year old woman posting this to an audience of strangers who will all rightfully find this cringe #what's that narrative arc look like eh? #I'm not and never will be a worthwhile creator of escape and as far as I'm concerned i might as well be nothing in that case #sorry I'll take my existential spiral elsewhere like always. see you later for some memes to pretend i never wrote this!

[kyidyl]

I saw something on Twitter that made me remember this early 2000s meme and because I had to re-experience it I'm inflicting it on you.

#meme #cringe #funny #old memes #sorry not sorry #Youtube

[in-hindsight]

Damn, so sad I gotta use 2022 lingo such as ‘sus’ and ‘ligma’ in IH. If Robbie could just bust out the ‘erm, what the skibidi’ in the middle of a scene I think my life would be fulfilled

#not seriously tho cuz COVID having happened at that specific time in their lives as it did for me is important #so I gotta make the cringe meme brainrot accurate #canon that 2024 Robbie says it tho #ugh now I gotta think abt how all my characters would grow throughout secondary school #what do they call that. cumming of age #keep that to yourself old man #sorry what #in hindsight

[sister-lucifer]

what’s wrong with you based on your favorite creepypasta

(don’t take these too seriously it’s all /lh)

Ticci Toby: You have the diet of a five year old and need to stop eating whatever food is put in front of you without thinking about it, you don’t know where it’s been. No, it is not okay to dig food out of the trash, even if it’s on top. I’m sorry your family is so shitty. You’re also trans masc and autistic and/or adhd (+ if you like toby you should participate in my strip game w him:))

Jeff The Killer: You need to stop getting violently angry at every minor inconvenience. Like seriously, it’s okay, take a deep breath. And stop yelling at people. I know that to you it’s a normal tone of voice but you’re much louder than you think. You’re also trans masc and still processing your internalized biases

Laughing Jack: Sorry about the abandonment issues, but you also shouldn’t latch on to anyone who shows you even the smallest bit of kindness, you’ll get yourself hurt. Remember, it takes time to build meaningful relationships, and that’s ok. Also your relationship with gender is weird, and you either don’t have a gender or have one that is so hyper specific and personalized that you’re the only one who will really ever understand it. And your fashion sense is weird

Eyeless Jack: Someone really hurt you once and you’ve never really been the same since. You don’t speak very much and sort of keep to yourself and prefer to observe social interactions rather than partake in them. You have more books than you’ve had friends ever and rant to yourself about them. And you never turn the lights on if you can help it

BEN Drowned: Stop hiding your intense emotions behind humor. Memes are not a replacement for therapy. Neither is weed, but you should probably keep doing that because it’s the only thing keeping you from an anxiety attack. Also you’re short. Gross

Nina The Killer: How’s the hypersexuality going? Seriously, you can’t pretend you’re not struggling with loneliness and a lack of meaningful connections by being horny. Get off twitter and ao3 for like five minutes PLEASE. And you’re still thoroughly invested in trends from 2010. You are cringe, but by god you are free. Also sorry about the unrequited crush but you should really move on

#creepypasta #ticci toby #toby rogers #jeff the killer #jeffrey woods #nina the killer #eyeless jack #laughing jack #ben drowned

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 31

welcome to the thirty-first fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

1. Skirt, Dirt, Worth by @ardett

Lance wants to see Pidge wear skirts and makeup. (But really he doesn’t.)

i know the description doesn’t give much, so you’re going to have to trust me. and i really truly do recommend this one. this one...it’s one of the first vld fics i read, actually, as it was early 2017, and i’ve only had the strength to read it once. it’s not that it’s traumatizing or gory or particularly hard to read except that it’s...heavy, is the word? it made my heart pound and my breathing go fast. i couldn’t...i was feeling absolutely everything lance was feeling and it was scary in the way being vulnerable is scary. it has influenced everything i have ever written. if you’re looking for really early team dynamics and a quietly emotional exploration of gender that will change your perception of it for eternity then i cannot recommend this enough. and i hope i will find the strength to read it again soon

2. putting it into words by @jilliancares [EXPLICIT]

Lance decides to bottom for the first time. (This one's so full of fluff that you MIGHT have the visit the dentist afterward.)

very soft and sweet and emotional! exactly what the description says, you go into this fic expecting something specific and you are satisfied by the end of it. jillian has always been and will always be very talented at exploring young, barely adult klance learning how to be with each other and be themselves.

3. Say Yes To The Mess by @astrolatte

"Keith?"

"Yes, Lance?"

"Is that a dead Altean boar on our front porch?"

"Yes, it is."

"Did you bring the dead Altean boar and leave it on our porch?"

"...do you like it?"

Keith wants to sweep Lance off his feet with his proposal, that is if he doesn't get himself killed first.

one of my fave post-war fics ever tbh. like this made me LAUGH. i love how awkwardly earnest and affectionate keith is, i love how many mean lesbians are included, i love keith & lance’s family, i love long suffering and endeared lance. the whole thing is a sweet and funny masterpiece

4. competitions by @jilliancares [EXPLICIT]

After a certain competition goes wrong, Allura tells Keith and Lance that they're not allowed to compete anymore. Naturally, they bring the competitions to the bedroom.

i love this one bc its so real. like of COURSE these losers would do this. and of course it would work for them. they are rivals first and foremost. rivals to lovers? no. they are rivals AND lovers. they are somehow something more homoerotic than rivals

5. teamwork makes the meme work by muuni 

Allura creates a groupchat for the newfound members of the Gender-Sexuality Alliance club at Voltron University. Everything goes downhill from there.

Keith Why was I never considered

Shiro You know why.

Keith For fuck’s sake You shank a guy once and suddenly you’re “violent” and have “anger issues”

Pidge keith you;re gonna make me piss my pantsnhdjkljdhjh

people like to shit on chatfics all day long ‘oh they’re cringe’ ‘they’re not funny’ ‘they’re overdone’ false. you need to learn how to have fun. chatfics are SO MUCH FUN. dorky dialogue?? memes?? vines bc this fic is old enough for that?? occasional regular scenes to flesh out the story? a sequel? team as family? klance?? MATT/HUNK, WHICH I HAD NEVER SEEN BEFORE AND HAVE NEVER SEEN SINCE?? this fic is amazing and i will hear no slamming of the genre

that’s it for today (and sorry i was late)!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!  

#i am finally out of fics from my rereadables collection #we are now onto fics from my general bookmarks #so things that were done largely before i had that collection lol #klance #team as family #vld #voltron #fic rec #fic rec friday #broganes #genderqueer lance #lance #lance mcclain #keith #keith kogane #established klance

[the-girl-with-the-glass-heart]

I've noticed some people have gotten mad at the line in the new song frankie sings where they say "it's they or them not he or she, cuz labels ain't a thing for me.".

I keep hearing people say "omg why'd they have to go and make frankies whole personality being trans, why did she have to sing about it, they've made being non binary into a big joke, this is so cringey".

I'm sorry, have ya'll ever met a trans 15 year old? Do ya'll know what a baby gay is??? Baby gays will dress head to toe in rainbows and talk 24/7 about being trans or gay because they are excited about being lgbtq+.

Baby gays are so unapologetically cringe and i love them dearly for that, not every gay kid is like that but trust me, as a former baby gay who has baby gay friends, MOST OF EM ARE LIKE THAT.

If frankies whole personality is being trans, good, that would actually be more accurate to real life teens than if they just shut up and existed.

Also it's their introduction song, ofc they're gonna sing about their pronouns, even from a company stand point this is a pretty big deal so ofc they're gonna have frankie mention it.

It's literally a song all about their fuckin life, why wouldn't they mention that, if i had a song all about my life i'd probably have a whole verse about me being gay.

Honestly this whole argument just reminds me of the whole "gay people i respect" meme.

#monster high #frankie stein #mh #mh gen 3 #monster high frankie stein #frankie stein monster high #monster high gen 3 #gen 3 monster high #monster high reboot #mh reboot

[midnights-dragon]

Pinned post 📌

Feel free to skip over if you're just stalking my blog! (Here's a song for you to listen to.) ->

Important, first of all:

This user supports AO3

This user is anti-censorship

This user believes in "don't like, don't read"

This user believes in "ship and let ship"

This user believes that fiction tastes and preferences do not dictate moral character

ALSO very important:

So feel free to block me if you disagree. (ESPECIALLY do block me if you are an antisemite, or along that area of hatred towards people, if you're at all racist, homo/transphobic, etc). 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🎗️

Additionally, I do not usually post political things; this is first and foremost a fandom and personal blog. However, if I ever do, and you disagree, DO NOT attack me over it. Like, seriously. Just unfollow and move on! Block if you have to. I frankly could not care less. Though, if you are transphobic, I ask that you don't follow me at all, as I do happen to be trans myself. And don't even try to send hate; anon asks are off, and I will freely blast & report you. I don’t have any “DNI” criteria except for obviously if you have any hatred or bigotry towards ANY group of people. Trans people, POC, Jews, ANYONE. Or if you think one group’s suffering negates another’s. Period. Get off my blog if you hate someone for who they are.

Now that all of that is out of the way; onto the good stuff! ->

Things that I love/am hyperfixated on:

Good Omens

Hozier & Queen (average Good Omens fan)

Warrior Cats (cringe is DEAD)

Snakes, sharks, and birds (and dinosaurs)

The concept of love & how it relates to romantic vs platonic

Nature

My cat and bearded dragon (you will see pictures of them you have no choice)

Cliche old movies (The Parent Trap 1998, my beloved)

Animated adult movies

Bojack Horseman (run far away)

Sometimes just random fucking shit that Tumblr puts on my For You, and that I will then reblog like 20 posts of in rapid succession, very unescapable, not sorry about that

ASKS ARE ALWAYS WELCOME, AS ARE DMS!!! Nothing weird obviously, keep in mind that I am a minor (though I do enjoy smutfics, as any teenager does), but I LOVE random people saying random things, it makes me feel like a friend. Which you are to me! I love making mutuals as well, and if you want to be on a tag list for games like picrew chains, just let me know, I do those a lot. They're fun!

Now, writing requests & my Ao3! ->

I do accept writing requests, feel free to ask for anything for fandoms I'm in (if it's something topic-heavy, CWs are appreciated in advance), but obviously I'm not going to write anything like underage content or proship; I AM ANTI-CENSORSHIP, as said, I just am not a writer of pro-ship content, myself.

My favorite tropes:

Angst, specifically Hurt/Comfort

Nightmares

Human AUs

Trauma Recovery

Anything involving domestic & non-sexual nudity

Religious Trauma Messages

Panic Attacks/PTSD (and being helped through that)

Generally, just. Angst. Hurt/Comfort. Happy Ending, though. I sometimes write fluff one-shots I sweat it just does not happen Often

Mostly anything goes; obviously I'm at full liberty to delete any messages I get or not do them, but I LOVE requests and I usually more often than not do end up doing them! Just send it my way (ask box or DMs is fine) and I'll let you know. I write currently for almost exclusively Good Omens content, which can be found under the AO3 link below. Specifically, here is my Good Omens Masterlist!

A little intro to me as a writer can be found here from a recent ask game I participated in, if that is of interest to you. Also here from my 2023 Ao3 wrapped. My current writing 'order of things' (i.e., what I'm working on right now), can be found here.

I'm on a lot of other socials under a similar url! You can find my Twitter here, and my Instagram here, and then my Ao3. I mainly post similar content on all my socials, just reposting memes, art, and fandom stuff and sometimes posting stuff of my own! I'm a young artist, but proud of whatever work I muster up the courage to post. Which is not a lot, but nonetheless

If you’d like to support me and my work in any way, feel free to support me on my GoFundMe for my future top surgery/transition/therapy in relating to gender dysphoria if you are able and wanting! I am trans FTM, and use he/him pronouns, as it says in my bio. However, this is in no way an attempt to pressure anyone to do anything. Please think of yourself before a random stranger on the internet.

Link is also here for the post.

And here is also a link to a post you can reblog for my friend’s uni tuition, please reblog or share if you can with that as well!

Anyways, thank you for all of the love I've ever gotten across any platform, I love how kind people can be. And if you're mean, then, well, I prefer if you didn't interact, because this is what I try to make a safe space. Unless I was mean to you first (with disregard to transhomophobes and the like), then it's free game, and also, my bad. <3 Enjoy my blog!

(PS. I am a certified loser, but also, I am Kenough.)

#intro post #pinned post #personal #Spotify

[prettyseaveins]

Lover Boy, Lover Girl - R.R.

Ryan Ross x female!reader one shot

SFW / No warnings 

word count: 748

Summary: a small snippet into a random morning with Ryan Ross

“Ryan, did you hear what the fuck is going on with the government?” you asked, your body leaning against an arm of their shared couch as you held a cup of coffee. A look of disbelief was on your face as your boyfriend sat down beside you, letting his eyes fall on the screen you stared at. “This literally means that the government is gonna start controlling our brains or some shit because they want to block the media we consume—which is complete and utter bullshit! What the fuck? Does this mean I am no longer going to be able to sing about socialism and shit?”

“I think you’ll be able to sing about your idealistic world of anti-capitalism and love for me no matter what the government says,” he smiled comfortingly at you and let a hand rub your thigh soothingly. “This probably won’t even pass. Do you even hear how dumb they sound? She asked him if some dumb meme caused kids to become communists. I think we’ll be fine.”

“I guess you’re right, but also, who said I sang about loving you? For all you know, I could be singing about my love for Pedro Pascal or another celebrity crush that is ranking high on the list. Who knows, it could even be one of your friends from a different band. What was that bassist that took over Jon’s spot? Austin, was it? Or maybe his name was Antonio?” You put a finger up to your chin, tapping it as you faked your pondering. “Oh, I remember! Dallon is his name! Isn’t he a part of some big and famous band now? Supposedly even better than that band you used to be in?” Before you could utter another word, Ryan grabbed the coffee out of your hands and pushed his free hand into your side, starting to tickle you.

“You better plead for mercy,” he said, continuing to tickle you as you giggled and thrashed around. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! You were right! All my songs are about you and not some stupidly gorgeous hunk!” Another fit of giggles and laughter left your lips as he continued to harass your side with wiggling fingers. “I said you were right! Please, have mercy on my soul!” After a couple more seconds of tickling, Ryan stopped and let you be free of the punishment.

“Thank you for admitting I was right,” he took a quick sip out of your mug, grimacing at the taste. “You put way too much creamer in here.”

“Yeah, well it wasn’t for you, it was for me,” you sat up and grabbed the mug from him before taking a sip of your own coffee. “I could make you a cup if you want. One that has less sugar for your poor old soul.”

“You can’t be mean to me anymore. I have fingers of steel that could tickle you for eons to come,” he wiggled his fingers to try and prove just how serious he was, but it only resulted in a cringe from you.

“Okay, lover boy. I’m gonna make you a cup of coffee so I can hopefully get that image out of my head,” you stood up and started walking to the kitchen, setting down your own mug to start making Ryan’s. “And can you please change the channel? I would love to stop thinking about how the world is coming to an end for one second.”

“As you wish,” he picked up the remote and flicked it to a different channel, letting a random episode of Friends play as you made him coffee. “Make sure to use the mushroom house mug.”

“You mean the only mug you ever use? Technically, it isn’t even your mug, I’m the one that bought it,” you countered, finishing making his coffee before walking back to the living room and passing the mug to him. “I made sure to keep it extra disgusting.”

“Just because I like my coffee actually tasting like coffee doesn’t mean it’s disgusting. Also, I will forever be denying the fact that this was ever your mug. They are forever mine,” you rolled your eyes at his statement and grabbed your own mug, it coincidentally originally owned by your boyfriend, before taking your own sip.

“Whatever you say, nerd,” you giggled and let yourself sink next to Ryan, resting your head on his shoulder.

“I love you too, lover girl,” he said softly, peacefully watching the television with you.

~

A/N: I just wanted to create more ryan ross content so i wrote this lol. i’m gonna write more so drop suggestions if u want to ! thank you :)

#ryan ross #panic at the ryan #panic! at the disco #ryan patd #ryan ross x reader #ryan ross x reader fluff #ryan ross x reader oneshot #x reader #female reader #ryan ross imagine #ryan ross fanfic #ryan ross x you #x reader fanfiction

[autumnaaltonen]

How do you think alucard would react to a gen z humor? For example: would he enjoy tiktok and vine? Would he be confused by our memes? How would he react to our self-deprecating humor?

This will be a running theme in my fanficiton, so I'm all for this. Also, I am barely Gen Z, and continuously learn new slang from my students, so excuse the cringe 😅

In my personal opinion, Alucard very much gives supportive grandpa vibes.

He's happy to view whatever "KidToks", "YouViews", or "Bumblr" memes you shove in his face. He's not going to understand it, but he's happy to watch if it makes you smile.

He really loves BookTok for reading material when he's chillin in the dungeon, especially murder mysteries and modern fantasy.

When he first got a taste of your Vine-Vocab, he legit just thought that was the way you spoke.

Seras delivering you a birthday gift: "so you just gonna bring me a birthday gift on my birthday to my birthday party on my birthday with a birthday gift?"

Giving the Hellsing taskforce driving directions for their next mission: "Road work ahead? Uh, yeah, I sure hope it does."

Joining him in the shooting range for target practice: "Don't fuck with me! I have the power of God and anime on my side!"

When you eventually informed him it was from a dead meme-site that defined your generation, he was very impressed that you young-folk have such an extensive reference log to communicate with each other.

Like I said, grandpa vibes.

His favorite moments are when your Gen Z slang is directed at him. He has no idea what you're talking about, but he loves it cus it's you. You love it too, because you can use it to your advantage and flirt with him incognito.

"Alucard, I admire the 40s coat and sunhat drip, but it's a little camp these days. We really need to give you a glow up."

"I saw the footage from your last mission, and I have to say, you were an absolute snack. Totally bussin'."

"You high-key live in my head, rent-free, Alucard."

He enjoys your silly words. Such admirable youth.

But when it came to your self-deprecating humour, it was kind of 50/50 for him. He understands it with no issues, and as long as it wasn't too hurtful towards yourself, he thought it was hilarious.

"Sorry, demons! There’s no room inside me because I’m self-possessed." Hella relatable for him.

"I question my sanity a lot of times. Every now and then, it replies." He's like, "same."

You'd think he would enjoy it all, given his dark-humour streak. However, when you talk too poorly about yourself, it really puts a damper on his mood.

Even though he's a grandpa, we have to remember that Alucard is incredibly intelligent. So whenever you're shitting on yourself, he plays your game to his advantage.

You: "I'm the human equivalent of a typo."

Alucard: "But you'll always be my type."

Wait. What?

You: "If I remember correctly, the last time that I was someone’s type was when I was donating blood in the blood drive."

Alucard: "I had it for my dinner last week, it was one of the best bags I've ever drank."

Motherfucker. There more you try to put yourself down, the more creative he gets. It's like a ping-pong game of put-downs and affectionate counter-attacks.

You: "My life’s purpose is to be a cautionary tale for others."

Alucard: "I'll just have to be your happily-ever-after."

You: "I wouldn’t even settle for me, so why would you?"

Alucard: "Because we could be settling together in my coffin when we sleep."

You: "When I’m ready to sleep, I don’t bother checking if my foot is hanging off the end of my bed anymore. Come get me, demons."

Alucard: "Is that a proposition?"

You finally admit defeat, as your red cheeks and blood pressure could only handle so much.

Damn that sexy old man.

#hellsing #hellsing ultimate #alucard #alucard x reader #I had way too much fun writing this