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#copypasta
one-time-i-dreamt · 2 days
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I kept seeing some copypasta going around that went like, “(celebrity) was working their 3:30pm shift at the Yogurt Shack.” The punchline was basically that the Yogurt Shack blew up with their fav inside it but I’m not sure how I got that info because they never put it in the copypasta.
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nevesmose · 1 day
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You know the Great Revolutionary and her Daughter say that all Replikas are created equal, but you look at me and you look at Adler and you can see that statement is not true. See, normally if you go one on one with another Replika, you have a 50/50 chance of winning. But I'm a Landvermessungs-/Schiff-Techniker Replika and I'm remembering my promise! So you have a 25%, at best, chance to beat me. Then you add Falke to the mix and your chances of winning DRASTISCH REDUZIERT. In the time loop, at Sierpinski, you have a 33.33% chance of winning, but I, I have a 66.66% chance of winning, because Falke knows she can't beat me even though her mind has been contaminated, defiled, by another person's memory.
So Adler, you take your 33.33% chance, minus my 25% chance and you have an 8.33% chance of winning at Sierpinski. But then you take my 75% chance of winning, if we were to go one on one, and then add 66.66%, I have a 141.66% chance of winning at Sierpinski. See Adler, the numbers don't lie, and they spell compartmentalized trauma for you at Sierpinski.
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(L-R: Elster, Ariane, Falke, Elster)
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sasha-psychedelia · 9 months
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The Provably Worst Gun for Home Defense
What is provably the WORST gun for home defense? A .22 single shot rifle is at least small and quick to point. A Barrett M82 is at least going to instantly stop whatever it hits. Even a good old fashioned musket is going to do good damage and won't hurt your ears. No, I wanted to know what the undisputable worst home defense gun in the world is; and I have found it.
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This is the .950 JDJ Fat Mac. It is a 100 pound, 5 foot long rifle that shoots a one pound solid brass bullet at 2200 FPS. It is a non-NFA item only because the ATF gave it a sporting exemption as a joke as if anybody is going to hunt with this. This round would be overkill for hunting blue whales.
I would like to paint a picture for you. It's 2AM and you hear a window break in your living room. This is the worst day this could happen, as every single one of your guns was lost in a tragic boating accident this morning. All were lost except for one. You look across your room in dread at your anti-kaiju rifle. You know what you have to do, but you don't know if you have the strength to do it, both literally and figuratively.
Heaving the rifle into your arms, you load a .950 cartridge and begin to waddle towards the door. Your feet make a loud "thud" as you take each 6" step. You know the intruders hear you. You hope they do, for perhaps they will run and spare the world the suffering that is about to befall it.
You try to set the rifle down, but end up clipping your bedroom door and it is immediately knocked off its hinges by this battering ram in your hands. You attempt to round the corner, bonking the muzzle against the doorframe and adjacent wall across the hall at least 4 times.
To your horror, two invaders stand there at the end of the hall.
With a heavy heart, you raise the rifle to your shoulder while making inhuman grunting noises from the strain of attempting some semblance of a shooting position. The burglars simply stare in disbelief, unable to process the situation they are witnessing, as if in a dream.
You cannot aim the rifle, as the last time you fired the gun, it turned your $3000 Leopuld into a kaleidoscope. You simply hold it at an angle that appears correct and fire.
You are immediately knocked to the floor as if hit by a semi truck going 20 MPH. The shot connected with one of the criminals and it erased him from existence. Even the memories of him have been destroyed and you're wondering why you just shot into an empty hallway. The shot continues to travel through at least 4 houses, a car, and a 10 ton boulder before lodging itself 20 feet into a nearby hill, never to be seen again.
It is at this point, you realize you cannot hear.
The surviving burglar can't hear either but he's also on fire from the muzzle blast and is currently vacating your home. You don't care. Your shoulder is dislocated and there is a hole in your brand new AR500 refrigerator.
You're crying now.
The police arrive and, upon seeing the scene, start laughing. You start crying harder.
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clevercorvidae · 1 year
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so bECAUSE OF DREAMS FACE REVEAL I WENT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING AT 12AM SO NATURALLY SOMEONE THOUGHT I WAS BEING MURDERED AND CALLED THE POLICE AND WHEN THEY GOT HERE I HAD TO GIVE THEM MY EXPLANATION FOR SCREAMING AT 12AM SO I JUST SAID DREAM AND ONE OF THE COPS EYES SUDDENLY GOT REALLY BIG AND THEN HE SAID “HE FACE REVEALED??!?” AND THEN HE WATCHED THE VIDEO ON HIS PHONE I HAVE A GROWN POLICE MAN SITTING IN MY DRIVEWAY CRYING AND CURSING AT DREAMUPDATES UNDER HIS BREATH HIS PARTER GAVE HIM A SHOCK BLANKET OH MY GOD
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hellsitegenetics · 1 month
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*HISS HISS HISS* *RUFF RUFF RUFF * *BARK BARK* EXCUSE ME Teacher, could we PLEASE turn off the lights? The LED artificial lightbulbs are HARMFUL to my NATURAL WOLF EYES Which change color depending on my mood... What do you mean you don’t believe me? They turn YELLOW when I’m happy, RED when I’m REALLY, REALLY angry And GREEN when I’m on the HUNT. SPEAKING of meal time, YOU look like you could suffice for my AFTERNOON Wolf Snack BUT, I will refrain because my mother said if I get sent to the principal’s office ONE MORE TIME for BITING somebody , then SHE will take away my Wii! HOWEVER, I cannot say I’ll do the same for Marissa, The CAT GIRL, who’s been flirting with my crush Jake all week Look at them over there.. laughing *A HÉÊ HËÆ HÂÊ* FLIRTING, like I DON’T EXIST! No happiness that a Wii game can bring me, Will compare to THAT which I WILL FEEL, when JAKE is MINE! *MY EYES TURN GREEN*
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Closest match: Lasioglossum lativentre genome assembly, chromosome: 7 Common name: Furry claspered furrow bee
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mcytblrconfessions · 3 months
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WHY has GRIAN, who in my opinion is not great at pvp, killed me at least 8 times in PvP games, yet i have NEVER finished ahead of him in buildmart.
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ryro-everyday · 10 months
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I found my Eva Title Card Generator tab again
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good-advice-ganondorf · 4 months
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almost-correct-quotes · 6 months
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everyone watching seinfeld please remember the main characters are supposed to be aspirational characters to admire and emulate. the point is that they're protagonists you can relate to and idolise, which is what makes it so good.
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jeromepowell · 4 months
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🏦🍗Happy BANKS-giving🍗🏦 to all my 💵 finance 🅱️itches & 🅱️ros 🔥today 📅 might be a bank holiday 🎉but it’s also a 👐SPANK 🙌 HOLIDAY 🤤🫣 it’s time ⏰ to get your crush’s ⬆️ INTEREST ⬆️ rates UP 🔝 to handle INFLATION 👀🍆 so you can 🦃GOBBLE🍽️ that 🍑 and get STUFFED 🥴 by your favorite 💦LARGE DEPOSITOR💦 remember to PUT ➡️ that TURKEY 🦃 in your OVEN 🔥 and CALL ☎️ your hottest 🥵 SLUTS 💋 to lock 🔒 in that sexy 👅 bid-ASS SPREAD 🤸‍♂️ finish that CUMkin🎃 PIE 🥧 and be THANKFUL 👆🙏 nonperforming📉loans aren’t the 🅾️nly thing getting SUBBED 😈⛓️tonite 💯
📬 send 📩 this to your 🔟 highest 📈investors📊 to THANK 🫶 BANK 💰 and YANK ✊💦them
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mayor-of-losertown · 26 days
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I must not mid-afternoon nap. Mid-afternoon naps are the good-night's-sleep-killer. Mid-afternoon naps are the little death that brings total obliteration etcetera etcetera I'm too lazy to finish this copypasta
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koifishanonymous · 5 months
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you’re in their dms, i’m also in their dms. we should probably make a groupchat.
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sasha-psychedelia · 10 months
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SCP-████ is a ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ foundation staff ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ D-3819 ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ among us ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ genitals obliterated ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████
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geneslovee · 10 months
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at least trent is gay. its like i always say. at least trent is gay. at the end of the day. trent is gay. dont cry ok? trent is gay. at the end of the day. trent is gay. whn all else fails. trent is gay. we'll always have. trent is gay
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chemevan · 9 months
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No but seriously imagine it…
you’re seeing fall out boy on a concert. Everyone is having a great time. Fall out boy seem a little excited. “We have a surprise for you guys.” Partick says. All of a sudden they play a fall out boy song When patrick gets to the chorus, he keeps singing “insert any fob song” Lights flash everywhere, and you see FOB singing a fob song. Everyone in the crowd is going wild and crying. Then if things couldn’t get any better, patrick and pete talk to each other like normal
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