#That information is both hilarious and humbling

[bergilandbante]

Found this interesting little titbit on the Devil May Cry TV Tropes page. Effectively; Vergil was designed to be simped over.

#That information is both hilarious and humbling #because like...it worked. my most popular post on this blog is ABOUT COATLESS VERGIL #I've seen the results and yeah...they succeeded #devil may cry #dmc #vergil dmc #vergil sparda #dmc3 #devil may cry 3

[casualtydept]

one of my favourite things to come from the leaked mgsv script docs is this chart of what personal pronouns and forms of address the thought the characters should use for each other in japanese, so i thought i'd make an english/romaji version of it and provide some notes!

initial notes

to make it clearer to understand, the left column indicates the speaker, and the row along the top indicates the character being addressed. the top line in each cell is the second person pronoun they use for that person (first person in the case of the character talking about themselves), while the second row and below are how the character would call the other by name/title.

so first of all, this obviously doesn't fully reflect the final game, and there's still a lot of uncertainty over certain pronouns and names evident by all the ?s indicating the staff member(s) working on this weren't 100% confident in their assumption, or didn't make a guess at all. empty cells also indicate they thought a form of address simply wouldn't be used - code talker having no reason to ever talk to ishmael, or volgin never speaking to address anyone at all, for example.

something else to be aware of is the presence of a few unused names in here, namely geronimo for code talker, which was an early name for him presumably based on the real life apache leader. at this point in development they also seemed to be sticking with liquid for eli's form of address

there's also "neocon" as skull face's nickname for huey, which interestingly doesn't seem to come up anywhere else in any of the scripts! we can assume this is a play on his son's future nickname "otacon", while also referring to him as a neoconservative which is frankly so hilariously awful i can't help but feel we were robbed of this.

a crash course in japanese personal pronouns pt. 1

next i want to briefly explain what all of these pronouns mean, for those unfamiliar. this comes with a big disclaimer that i'm not japanese or even close to fluent in it, so do your own research if you're interested in this just in case i'm misrepresenting any of the incredibly specific cultural connotations everything in this language seems to have

俺 ore

most characters in the game use this when referring to themselves, it's an informal masculine pronoun that can emphasise masculinity or status around those with lesser status, although around close friends it has a different connotation of casual familiarity.

ore is used by snake, ishmael, miller, ocelot and liquid

僕 boku

this pronoun is used mostly by young boys, but can also be used by adults. it has connotations of humbleness, its use by older men suggesting they feel young. non-threatening and casual.

boku is used by both mantis and huey in each of the two contexts described above.

わたし watashi

your standard gender neutral formal first person pronoun. casually it's only really used by women, a man using it in a casual context suggests aloofness or a businesslike attitude.

quiet and skull face are the only characters that use watashi, you can interpret this as suggesting either formality or casualness for quiet, and the usual formality for skull face.

in the notes this is written in hiragana, rather than using the kanji 私, i'm unsure if this indicates anything in particular or perhaps was to avoid confusion with watakushi, the more formal variant of this pronoun which uses the same kanji.

わし washi

this is a mostly male pronoun, used frequently in fiction to represent your stereotypical old man character.

as such this is the pronoun code talker uses.

a crash course in japanese personal pronouns pt. 2

now for the second person pronouns.

real spoken japanese doesn't really use these pronouns as freely as we would with "you" in english, since in a conversation the "you" part of the sentence is usually implied from the context and using a pronoun puts specific emphasis on the other person in a way that can be seen as cold or rude.

i'll leave it up to you to see which characters use each of these towards others rather than listing them since many of them use different ones for different people depending on their relationship with each of them.

お前 omae

a very informal pronoun mostly used by men. as you can see this pairs with the first person ore, and has all the same connotations of status towards subordinates and casualness among peers. wikipedia says men use this towards lovers so... there's that i guess.

あなた anata and あんた anta

anata is the standard second polite form of "you", often used on forms or in ads when referring to someone in a general sense or used for someone you don't know anything about.

anata is almost exclusively used here by mantis, which fits his distanced nature.

anta is a shortened form of anata that is more informal, suggesting anything from contempt to familiarity, and stands out as rude in a strictly formal context. it can also be used to suggest a sense of defiance and disrespect of authority - as if the character respects the other to some degree, but not enough to use anata towards them.

anta is liquid's pronoun of choice for all characters but mantis, drawing on the latter connotation. it is also used variably by some of the main characters to refer to each other, suggesting their familiarity, rather than rudeness.

君 kimi

kimi is a reasonably informal pronoun used mostly by men to subordinates, or their equals. it can be rude when used to superiors or elders.

this pronoun tends to pair with the first person boku, and as such it get used both by huey and Mantis - although mantis only uses it for eli, demonstrating their closeness.

i find huey's use of it to be kind of a humorous way to draw attention to how convinced he is that they're all one big family and absolutely nobody here wants him dead or anything.

(zero isn't included in this sheet but he exclusively uses this pronoun in the tapes, referring to paz, skull face, kaz, ocelot and big boss with it. up to you if this is a blanket You Guys Are All My Subordinates thing or if it can suggest closeness with some of them)

貴様 kisama

less of a pronoun and more of a insult. often translated as "you bastard/son of a bitch/etc."

as you can imagine the only person they figured would use this was kaz to paz. so in this case i suppose "you spying bitch" would be the best translation.

i can't believe you read all of this

since this was made during development and reflects a lot of uncertainties and some unused ideas, i do want to go through the script and make an updated version of this with the pronouns used in the final version of the game just to have a complete resource. but for now i hope this proves interesting!

#mgs #metal gear solid #mgsv #not art #words #canon talk

[themotherofblood]

Might Seduce Your Dad Type

Tywin Lannister x Reader

Tears of Gold - 26

The sun had barely torn through the horizon when sat wide awake in your chambers and looking upon your sons that slept peacefully. Sat in the same position as you rubbed your belly, clearly your child had no intentions of letting you sleep from the constant movement within you.

You’d been dressed for hours just mindlessly staring at the horizon through the window. Hoping that Sansa found safety. You were very aware of who had aided her and planned on digging a deep grave for that piece of information.

“You visited Tyrion?” Tywin’s voice boomed from behind you, he stood tall and dined a disapproving look in the green of his eyes. Accusatory words that were very much true.

“I did.” Your answer remained short, not wanting to argue with your husband at this early hour.

“You cannot be seen having sympathy for him, he is accused of regicide!” Tywin lectured as he peaked a look at his sleeping sons.

“I went to inquire about the ledgers and economic books. Since I have been stationed Master of Coin and all.” You shrugged looking up at him. “Shouldn’t it be mistress? I do not have a cock for that title.” You fought to keep the glare on your face but the corners of your mouth lifted as your jape was ever so hilarious to you.

“Yes, go on japing while the rest of the court falls apart.” Tywin scoffed, before extending his forearm for you to take. You wrapped your fingers around his elbow, pulling yourself up before straightening out your dress.

You had this dress made before but couldn’t find the right occasion to wear it, too would embolden a statement as not many women have ever sat in the small council.

There were beneficial perks of being the wife of the Hand of the King. Tywin held his council in the tower hence you did not have to descend the tower and walk to the original small council chambers.

You walked with your husband to his study where all members of the council awaited, Pycelle looked nearly rotting as always, and Mace Tyrell looked like a child on his name day. Varys held his authority and your uncle Oberyn looked disinterested and Cersei…she pretended everybody was beneath her as per usual.

The second the lot of them heard your footsteps approaching the enterance and Cersei saw the red of your gown. Her ingenious smile turned to a scowl, your uncle shot up to help you onto you chair along with you husband in the other end before they both resumed their seats.

“Lord Tywin, I would humbly like to than-“

“What is she doing here?” Cersei snarled at her father.

“Lady Y/N has been appointed the new Master of Coin.” Tywin answered back with complete disregard to his daughter’s tone.

“Mistress.” You coughed under you breath.

Lord Tyrell, Varys and your uncle seemed pleased with the news of your station. Perhaps all for different reason and yet here you are.

“And what does she know of coin, of the way court works.” Cersei interrupted as she bore daggers into you with her eyes.

“Quite a bit, the wars have left King’s Landing nearly beggared. Your husband- King Robert Baratheon expenditures has left the crown in nearly eight million in debt and that is just to Castley Rock.” You quirked your brow at your good daughter “And since I am the Lady of Castley Rock, I see it fit the the crown doesn’t drown itself any further, my queen.” You smiled at her. Oberyn tried his hardest to hide his smirk and yet seeing you

“I think it is auspicious and a fine idea, my lord hand.” Pycelle chimes in to tenor support of your husband.

“We have much to discuss so without a further argument, let us get to it.” He looked to his daughter who suck back into her chair.

“The coronation of Prince Tommen would be of most importance.” Pycelle spoke up.

“My lord, Prince Tommen is merely a boy. Wouldn’t it be more apt to groom him into his role before placing a crown upon his head?” Varys posed a vital question. You almost drowned out the the sound of the back and forth bickering between all the lords as the deviated from one subject to another. A few chimes of suggestions came from Oberyn, then the topic of Tommen’s coronation arose once more.

“Should it not be Myrcella?” You thought out loud, all the chatter around the table stopped as they looked to you.

“Pardon me, hard of hearing my lady.” Pycelle coughed.

“Should it not be Myrcella? She is older than Tommen…” You looked to you husband whose face remained unreadable to you. “If she is being raised the way I was in Dorne. Her education of politics and economics would be far advanced than Tommen’s.” You looked to Oberyn next whose head seemed to have been running a hundred miles an hour, he seemed to have come to a consensus and then smiled.

“Lord Tywin, has already assured m-“ Lord Mace interrupted you but you merely raised your voice to speak over him.

This time you looked to Cersei, who appeared shocked to and yet didn’t disapprove the thought of Myrcella as Queen.

“She will also presume the role of the Princess of Dorne, hasn’t the crown always wanted an alliance with them?” You laid your case into the table.

“There has never been a Queen? This is preposterous.” Pycelle debated in his sickly voice.

Oberyn looked at you with a weird glint in his eyes before turning to Pycelle. You frowned because you were unable to comprehend what that look meant.

“Your history is sparse Maester. There was a Queen, history only seems to have forgotten.” Oberyn shrugged. “If the lord hand agrees, I could write my brother.”

You truly didn’t hope for the suggestion to fall through, Tywin had an agreement with Lord Mace- Lady Olenna truly, however his face finally became readable almost as though he silently agreed. He merely narrowed his eyes at you and then looked to his daughter.

“Dismissed.” Tywin ordered.

Mace’s shocked face turned to a pinched scowl directed at you however he graciously bowed before leaving, no doubt to relay this matter to his mother. Pycelle limped his way out and Varys looked oddly proud as he gave you a tight lipped smile and that same absurd look to Oberyn, that your uncle had given you a moment ago. Oberyn tapped your shoulder before existing.

“Not you two.” Tywin commanded for you and Cersei to remain.

“You are aware you might have jeopardized our standing with the Tyrells?” Tywin questioned as he sat back in his chair.

“Yet you do not appear to be cross…?” You replied as you put out your palms.

“We are both thinking the same thing and you know it.” You smiled at him, his eyes were evident that you indeed were laying a plot of similar means.

“What?” Cersei looked between the two of you, annoyed at cryptical nature of this conversation.

“Our family required a legacy, one that would continue after my passing.” Tywin began explaining.

“Should our family rally upon the first reigning Queen on the Iron Throne. It immortalizes the Lannister name forever.” You finished Tywin’s thought for him. The second you realized that it was indeed what he was thinking you fell back onto you chair with a smug grin on your face.

“You’ve always said Myrcella is good, gentle and learned. As far as my cousin, he would make a wonderful and agreeable King Consort.” You tried to reason with Cersei.

“And what of the Tyrells?” She questioned her father.

“They double their offerings to install Margarey and Tommen for the throne.”

“Alright then, I shall oversee that the ravens arrive in Dorne shortly.” The should of chairs legs being dragged echoed through the chambers as you and Cersei got up to leave.

Just as you were walking away in the other direction, Cersei caught onto your hand.

“What game are you playing? Why would you rally support for Myrcella.” She looked conflicted, unable to decipher you political move or anything other than a malicious game

“I’ve told you before, my intention for our family is pure. You may believe I’ve seduced your father to insanity, at the end of the day. My opinion matters to him, something you had failed to do as Queen.” You yanked your hand wrist back.

“Robert held no affections for me, let alone love.” She defended her position.

“And neither did your father for me! He shall never love me the way he did your mother. I moved forward! As should have you. Now if you may.” You dismissed yourself, walking towards the kitchens.

“I’m surprised father has let you visit me again.” Tyrion said in a sing song voice.

“I do not require your father’s permission.” You looked down at Tyrion laying on the cot and placed a small flask of wine next to him.

“What is it going to be, for regicide?” He quipped.

“Uh- beheading.” Your voice was laced in sympathy, still clawing at a resolve for Tyrion.

“You could take the black..?”

“And give my father the status faction of trundling me to the ends of the world? I think not. It will be a trial by combat, Jamie will help me for sure; if not Bron.” He elaborated before guzzling down the rest of the wine.

“Tyrion… we haven’t heard from Jamie in weeks with no assurances of when he might return from the Riverlands, and Bron has been chased out the city with a pending investigation.” You pulled out another little flash of wine from your pockets and handed it to Tyrion.

“So my options are death or celibacy.” He scoffed.

“I wish I had, truly lady Y/N” He sounded irked as he laid back on his cot

“I wish I had poisioned Joffrey.”

#Spotify #tywin lannister x reader #house lannister #tywin lannister smut #tywin lannister

[all-pacas]

@sunrisetune or whoever, I'm at work and bored:

Just for fun: Character surnames and how/when you can learn them, in order.

Lae'zel: Doesn't seem to have a surname. The closest she seems to have is identifying the creche is is from -- K'liir. Which is in space. By the way. Like I think we're all sleeping on the fact that she's from (an asteroid right next to) the moon. Incredible.

Wyll Ravenguard: Act one. Bring him to Waukeen's Rest, and he'll admit right away Duke Ravenguard is his dad, and call himself "Wyll Ravenguard" while distancing himself from the implication that he's a noble. Karlach and Astarion both have lines reacting to how important his father is. If your Tav is Baldurian, you can as well.

For everyone else, we gotta wait until act three.

Gale Dekarios: In an origin run, your very first long rest. Tara pops up to scold Gale, and she only ever calls him by the very proper Mr. Dekarios. Otherwise, early in act three, when you encounter her in Rivington.

Karlach Cliffgate: At any point when you reach the Lower City, you can take her to the graveyard. Her parents are buried there, right in the middle section near the willow tree. She has a very sweet cutscene where she talks about them and her childhood.

Shadowheart (Jenevelle Hallowleaf): In act three, once you defeat Viconia and company, and reunite her with her parents. They call her Jen for short. If you choose to rescue them, Shadowheart decides to keep her name as is, and they're happy and quick to adjust to calling her 'Shadowheart.' Not sure if this is also revealed if she goes Dark Justiciar.

Astarion Ancunin: In act three, and only if you refuse to ascend him and are romancing him, he takes you to his grave. His full name and wildly inaccurate dates of birth and death are written on it. Kind of hilariously, while I think this is the most common tumblr knowledge, this information is probably the hardest to come across of the companions. You NEED to be romancing him, and the grave isn't written in English. Thirsty fans uncovered this bullshit. He's also the only character that never responds to, uses, or says his full name. Honestly, he probably doesn't really "feel" anything about it anymore.

Jaheira: Has never had a revealed last name. In her case, she was more or less smuggled out of her home as a baby due to political unrest, so... sure? Her house in the city is called Elerrathin Home, but it's not actually made clear if that's her surname or what.

Minsc: Has never had a revealed last name. Probably not altogether clear on what that is. A sir name? No, he is but a humble warrior!

#bg3 meta

[aegor-bamfsteel]

What do you think about about Alys Rivers? Do you think Aemond Targ and Alys Rivers are similar to Stannis and Mel?

I think she’s great. I’ll take her and Aemond over Dæmon Targ and any of his lovers any day, because the narrative isn’t trying to make us sympathize with them or feel any pathos when they get killed. Aemond is a heinous kinslayer and mass murderer with a cheesy accessory, but so is Dæmon, and at least we don’t have to read about how Aemond had a secret good side, nor do we have to read about how multiple exceptional women are props in his story to the point he’s their entire motivation or character turning point. Aemond is a one-woman man, and unlike Dæmon who sexually preyed on young women (wanting the youngest girls in the brothel, marrying his niece and her cousin who were over a decade younger than him, his last relationship allegedly being with a girl over 30 years younger), this woman Alys Rivers is older and wiser (though that’s not hard, as this is Aemond). He demonstrated that he cared for her by rescuing her from Harrenhall, he listens enough to her to spare the lives of others, they kiss before he flies off to battle Dæmon. Alys claims they married before he died, and tbh considering his affection for her, I believe it. She also can allegedly curse people with death by magic, choking an innocent messenger because somebody laughed at her ultimatum. Which is hilarious. No sympathy needed, just two cartoon villains in love.

I can see why you’d connect Alys/Aemond to Mel/Stannis. He’s a great lord/prince looking to win a war, and she’s a deceptively youthful sorceress of humble origin who can see visions in the flames and possibly send out her shadow to kill people. It’s said that both Stannis and Aemond were under their magic spell. However, Aemond was demonstrably a terrible person even before he met Alys (which he did when he was ordering the deaths of her Strong family after taking Harrenhal), and at the very least Stannis wasn’t burning people alive pre-Mel. Aemond is also an incompetent general who relied on brute force and died at 20, whereas Stannis is an experienced, competent general who relied on superior discipline and is in his mid 30s. Aemond seems genuinely fond of Alys, calling her “my Alys” and “my lady”, whereas Stannis gets impatient with Melisandre and is just using her for her power. Melisandre also has a clear goal (thinking Stannis is Azor Ahai reborn to save the world) whereas what Alys wanted (other than to survive, then to raise her son as king of Harrenhal) isn’t clear.

GRRM purposely made Aemond Dæmon the Rogue Prince’s foil, what with the brutality, kinslaying, riding an old powerful dragon, mockery of their enemies, that they killed each other in battle. So I think the parallels between Alys Rivers and Dæmon Targaryen’s lover-turned-spymaster Mysaria (main impact in the plot is as information gatherers, both shown to be cruel people) as well as his alleged lover Nettles (alleged illegitimate children of murky origins, both men say goodbye to them as they ride off to their deaths) are intentional as well.

#ask #alys rivers #aemond targaryen #parallels #anti daemon targaryen #dance of the dragons

[mirimangarecs]

“for better or for worse” - eunren & noh hueda

a noblewoman from a humble country house realizes that her entire life is a pre-written book, and that an imminent arranged marriage between a ducal heir and her little sister will lead to her tragic death. she sabotages the engagement in order to save her sister’s life, but ends up married to him instead. they’re both snarky, stubborn, and refuse to fall in love…… unless…………

the couple: these two are my favourite historical romance couple, hands down. they are such incredible shitheads to each other but the bickering always feels like a real, equal give-and-take based on strong personalities. they are quick-witted, hilarious, outgoing, and extremely active participants in their own lives. watching their relationship grow and change slowly is my joy. they’re made for each other

the plot: i adore how realistic and grounded the story and setting are. there’s no magic, no empire-shaking conflicts; just a relatively unassuming marriage between aristocrats and navigating the social and interpersonal challenges that come with it. the story as a whole is well-written and has a fantastic commitment to the victorian style without ever being stuffy. i would kill to be able to read the novel

the art: phenomenal. 12/10. i wish the artist had more work available. it’s crisp, bright, unique, easy on the eyes, and completely refreshing. the panels are neatly organized and fly by like watching a movie. the physical action pops off the screen and the judiciously applied detail panels are gorgeous. i want to eat this art.

also, the character designs: the big fluffy bangs, strong eyebrows, small cute lips, fangs, and boisterous chibi expressions make the characters so incredibly charming and expressive. i’m getting a lot of classic shoujo inspiration and i love it

concerns and criticisms: honestly almost none, it’s virtually flawless, but the ones i do have relate entirely to the ending. like, the final ~5 chapters. which is a matter of taste!! only big big spoilers from here:

the sin of overexplaining:

- we didn’t NEED to have the entire soul-swapping situation explicitly narrated to us, especially after the previous ~3 chapters all but said so. i think it would’ve been more poignant left unsaid with all the clues given to interpret. dillon learned the information in-universe and the audience was tastefully excluded, only for that extremely delicate narrative device to be tossed out the window

it was adeline’s soul all along!:

- this really cheeses me because we just spent so much time with dillon As Dillon. cedric fell in love with her because of who she was, and if who she was was just adeline’s soul in a trenchcoat, then what happens to the moral of the story being positive change, personal agency, and choosing to love someone?

- sure, the “we as souls are so entangled we’ll find each other no matter who we are on the outside” is poetic and certainly has appeal and WAS hinted at, but it just fell so flat for me after dillon spent the entire manhwa agonizing over not being adeline, believing she didn’t deserve cedric because she wasn’t adeline, that she would have to leave him when he meets adeline, and going on such a tumultuous, laborious journey of self-acceptance where she comes to terms with her past life and finally being loved as herself……. only to find out she was adeline all along. she worked so hard to gain her confidence and then it’s just oops! all adeline. idk man

- the way that it leads you to think it’s a traditional “normal modern isekai into a novel” trope and then pulls the rug out from under you is pretty clever

IT’S STILL A 13/10 MUST READ TOP 5 MANHWA 🎉🎉🪅🌟✨ okay bye

#shoujo #manhwa #novel adaptation #for better or for worse #manga post #isekai #romance #historical romance #manhwa recommendation

[spooniechef]

Peanut Butter Cookies (1 spoon)

We’re back on treats again, because gods know those of us who are low on spoons most of the time need a few of those. This one comes courtesy B Dylan Hollis’ hilarious and informative TikTok. You’ll probably be able to find it in Baking Yesteryear, which you can preorder basically everywhere that sells books. But since it’s not coming out until 25 July, and rewatching a TikTok five or six times is a little samey even if it’s one as good as Dylan’s, here’s the basic recipe, plus a few notes on how to make an easy recipe even easier, or at least tastier.

Here’s what you’ll need:

1 cup peanut butter

1/2 cup sugar

1 egg

That’s ... really it. The reason it works is because the humble peanut is a starchy little legume and binds a lot like flour does. Plus you’ve also got your oil, your salt, and half your sugar as well as the starch. Peanut butter does a lot of the heavy lifting here. Great for those of us with gluten issues, problematic for those with peanut allergies. (More on that later.)

Here’s what you do:

Mix ingredients

Roll into balls and place on baking sheet

Cross with fork

Bake at 350F for 10 minutes (or 175C for 12-15 minutes)

Again, that’s really it. Only thing that might cause issues is if the peanut butter’s too sticky to stir well at first. So, notes:

This is one of those recipes like the fudge where you honestly want the cheaper brand of peanut butter. You might have noticed that the fancier nut butters tend to separate a bit, and that alters the texture of the cookie somewhat. Of course, the reason that happens is that the fancier and more expensive nut butters tend to try to avoid palm oil for environmental and sustainability reasons, so your mileage may vary on this one. Cashew butter will probably come out more floury because it’s higher on carbs and lower on protein than peanut butter, and almond butter might have some binding issues because it’s lower in fat, which is part of the oil that we’d generally add for a cookie dough. If you’ve got a peanut allergy, maybe experiment a bit. For instance, try adding a tablespoon of softened butter to bring the oil balance up to what it needs to be.

If the peanut butter you’re using is a bit stiff (for instance, if you’re storing it in the fridge, or if you’re like me and have some issues with the heating), try microwaving it for like ten seconds or so before mixing in the egg and sugar. Not enough to really melt the peanut butter; just enough to soften it a bit so it’s easier to stir.

For the sugar, white sugar’s fine but brown is better. Both give the dough the approximate consistency of chocolate chip cookie dough, so if you want to mix in some chocolate chips before baking, feel free to do that too.

There you have it - it really is that easy to make peanut butter cookies. Easy, tasty, and a good source of protein and fiber. ...And you should go watch B Dylan Hollis make these anyway; his incredulity at how they turned out is adorable.

#The Spoonie Chef #Recipes #sweets #snacks

[ciaossu-imagines]

For day 16 of the event, I used number 12 from prompt 15 for Tokitatsu from Karneval! Though it’s not much, I hope any fans of the series enjoy the headcanons and that all you gorgeous readers are having the most amazing of days!

How long have they been around? Do you know their birthday? Is their birthday the day you made them or another day? What do they think of celebrating birthdays?

Tokitatsu was born January 5 and he’s 36 years old. This is canon information, not anything I came up with myself.

This makes him a Capricorn in Eastern astrology and a Pig in the Chinese zodiac. I do headcanon Tokitatsu as someone who really is big into astrology and reads his horoscopes every day. He goes in between intensely believing in them and finding them hilarious bait for the gullible, vacillating wildly between the two depending on his mental and emotional state and what’s going on in his life at the time.

Tokitatsu believe that both zodiac signs do really fit him though. In terms of the Pig zodiac, he feels that it fits him as a indulgent, generous, sociable person with a large sense of humour. However, out of the two, he feels the Western zodiac of Capricorn fits him the slightest bit better out of the two, especially in referring to people under this sign as dynamic individuals who are both confident and humble at the same time.

 He’s definitely someone who does celebrate not only his own birthday, but the birthdays of anyone else around him. Tokitatsu is not someone who’s going to pass on the chance to party and have fun, especially the chance to do that with people he truly loves and cares about. Add onto that his firm belief that everyone in the world should know that people are truly glad they came to exist in the world on their birthdays, and it’s very important to him that he gets to celebrate them, if the person will allow him.

When it comes to his own birthday, he wants it celebrated and he wants to spend his birthday with those closest to him. He doesn’t care if the celebration is planned out weeks, even days in advance or kept a secret. He doesn’t care if the party is big or small. He just wants his birthday acknowledged and he wants to be able to have so much fun with those in his life.

He definitely got absolutely wasted on his 21st birthday, just saying. He tries to make sure his younger brother does the exact same thing when Hiroto turns 21, however, Hiroto gives Tokitatsu the slip.

#unrequested prompts #karneval #tokitatsu karneval #headcanons

[forelevenses]

before you go

rating: T fandom: the lord of the rings characters: frodo baggins, sam gamgee, bilbo baggins, elanor gardener pairings: frodo baggins/sam gamgee summary: before Bilbo is set to depart the Havens, Frodo and Sam have someone they want him to meet

with lovely art done by @verchielmarch! 💕 read here or on ao3! When Master Elrond informed Bilbo of Frodo’s decision to decline the offer to the Blessed Land, he was rather at a loss for words (to the surprise of the entire House).

The letter arrived towards the tail-end of April, and all the while, he spent his afternoons on his favorite thinking bench under one of the many blooming bowers in Rivendell and thought of many different things: his past adventures, his verses, his upcoming journey, but most importantly of all, he thought of Frodo.

At first, he found the situation quite hilarious and wished he could hug his dear nephew. After all, it was quite in Baggins-fashion to be accorded with a special honor by the elves to only say ‘No, I am quite all right, thank you’ as if one was rejecting an extra helping of tea cakes during elevenses. He taught the boy very well, in his humble opinion.

However, as the months turned warmer, Bilbo’s humor began to turn into concern. Although he was not at the Cracks of Doom when it happened, Bilbo felt a sort of clarity when It was destroyed, even all the way in his small, cozy room. It was as if he was finally unburdened from the last of a 60-year-old weight, and he could really feel again. So, he could only imagine how Frodo, who walked into the very heart of the Enemy’s realm with the accursed thing, felt about the whole ordeal.

He may have shut his eyes more times than he would have liked then, but Bilbo remembered when Frodo returned to Rivendell after it was all said and done. His nephew was there, yes, and yet, he wasn’t. He wasn’t the same rosy-cheeked lad he met all those years ago in Brandy Hall, or the one who would hang on to every word of Bilbo’s tales with wonder in his clear eyes. Of course, Frodo talked and smiled well enough before he headed off on the last leg home, but none of it ever reached his shadowed eyes. It was as if Frodo was hollowed from the inside out, a weary and fragile shell of who he once was years ago.

The Blessed Land would have given them both long-overdue relief from their times with their shared burden, so why Frodo turned down the offer was too great a riddle, even for Bilbo. Had he turned for the worse upon arriving home? He may have held the ring for a shorter amount of time between the two, but It weighed on him far worse than Bilbo experienced. Not to mention his wounds- knife, sting, and tooth all crushing down on him with an immense pressure that Bilbo wished he could help alleviate. Did he think himself unworthy?

His boy more than earned his rest, so just why did he turn it down?

The first clue to his answer arrived just a week before he was set to depart for the Grey Havens: a Shire postmarked letter, written in the firm but slightly unsteady hand Bilbo recognized anywhere. Bilbo thanked the heavens Frodo could, at the very least, be well enough to have written a letter and practically tore into the envelope. It was short, the usual and respectful ‘How do you do? I’m doing well, thank you’ found in any hobbit correspondence, however, the letter’s closing caught Bilbo’s curiosity:

‘The three of us eagerly await the day we shall meet you at the Woody End.’

While he was more than happy to hear Frodo would be seeing him off, why only three? It was a shame to think the four lads had a falling out of sorts upon returning, however it seemed unlikely. There was talk among the newly-arrived elves of a gardener breathing life back into the halfling’s lands feared to be too unsalvageable, and Bilbo did not need to spare a guess on who the mystery gardener was. He hoped he would’ve seen young Samwise one last time, but he was a very important hobbit these days if the rumors were to be believed, and perhaps had bigger things to attend to than to see old Mad Baggins sail off into the blue.

At the very least, he would get to see his young cousins one last time and for Bilbo, it was a comforting thought.

***

The final clue arrived on the morning of September 22nd.

Their passage into the Shire was uneventful and unnoticed by the Shire-folk, even by the most keen-eyed Bounder. Their small company took the paths least traveled, through the rolling green hills and even through a forgotten sunflower field. The elves seemed to have enjoyed the field particularly, even Lord Elrond seemed a bit misty-eyed (sunflowers were not his personal favorite, although Bilbo can appreciate how their beauty can bring anyone to tears).

As they passed into the Woody End, one of the elves in their company ordered the scouts to be on the lookout for the Ringbearer’s carriage. Seemed a tad excessive for a small trip, even for Bilbo, but Frodo is a Baggins after all. He thought nothing more of it and quietly slipped into a peaceful nap.

Until he was rudely awoken by one of the escorts.

Perhaps some time passed, judging by the light but the elf laughed, “You have company little Master.” They had stopped at the edge of a small clearing (the same one Frodo and he would use to camp out under the stars during their famous days-long tramps), and elves around him busied themselves with the horses. Two lone horses were in the clearing before a small carriage and he recognized them as Lord Elrond’s and Lady Galadriel’s. Bilbo couldn’t help his quiet huff. He may be old, but certainly not too old to not be the first to greet his nephew!

Before he could show those two stuffy elves a piece of his mind, the horses were making their way back to the company. They were in good spirits to Bilbo’s mind, whispering to each other in the ancient tongue and smiling more than he had ever witnessed them to. Their horses slowed to a stop before his pony, regarding him fondly with their keen eyes. At last, Lord Elrond raised a hand before he could squeeze a word in.

“No need to rush, we shall set camp here for the evening,” he said, and motioned his horse forward. Lady Galadriel was silent, but her bright eyes twinkled in mirth before her own horse followed after Elrond’s.

Bilbo looked out toward the clearing, and though his eyes have seen better days, he recognized the pacing figure of his nephew anywhere.

“Let’s see what’s gotten into the lad’s head,” Bilbo said and he urged his pony forward. As he got closer, he began to make out the voices from the carriage: Frodo’s, and to his surprise, Sam’s. What joy to see young Samwise one more time, after all the great deeds he accomplished since their last meeting! Bilbo’s thoughts returned to the letter and he chuckled. Maybe Frodo was trying to give him the slip, and all four of them have arrived to see him off. Blast it all, he should’ve known all along!

“...he’ll understand, me dear.”

“...cuff my ears, just like old times!”

Just why would he need to cuff his ears? Honestly, the things the lad says sometimes! But, he’d know soon enough. Before Bilbo could get to it, the soft snort of his pony announced his arrival and a hush fell before Frodo turned around from his spot behind the carriage.

Bilbo had some sort of greeting ready at the tip of his tongue, but he felt it slip from his mind. He blinked, stunned as he took in his nephew. It had been nearly a year since he last saw him, a ghost of what his nephew once was. There were days when Bilbo, even Master Elrond, wondered if the Blessed Realm would be enough to heal Frodo.

The Frodo standing before him now was not fully healed, but Bilbo would not have known any better.

Frodo shifted in place, his hands fiddling with the cuffs of his sleeves like he did so long ago whenever Bilbo would scold him as a tween. “Hullo Uncle,” Frodo said, color staining his properly filled-out cheeks (which Bilbo believed he would never see again).

Bilbo found the words he meant to say, but as he gathered his wits enough to answer, a soft gurgle got the first say.

He realized he had forgotten all about Sam in his astonishment.

Bilbo looked behind Frodo, and Sam sat at the edge of the carriage. He looked weary, but was ever the fine hobbit he always was. Sam smiled and mouthed a ‘Hullo’ before turning his attention back to the squirming bundle of blankets in his arms.

He looked at the bundle, then to Sam, then to Frodo, and then back to the bundle.

“Oh, my dear boy,” Bilbo said softly, the pieces falling together perfectly in his mind.

“I suppose we ought to explain ourselves,” Frodo said, still looking rather expectantly as if he was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“I dare say you do,” Bilbo said, dismounting his pony with ease. “But, I would much rather be introduced to this little one first.”

As quietly as he could as to not disturb the bundle, Bilbo approached Sam and settled by the spot next to him. The bundle was well-covered, although he couldn’t help but notice the little golden curl sprouting out from the blankets. Sam must have thought him silly trying to get a look and laughed softly. “Would you like to hold her, Mr. Bilbo?”

Bilbo smiled. “Her?”

“Aye,” Sam replied, “Here, mind her head.” Bilbo held open his arms and with Sam’s gentle guidance, he held the bundle. When was the last time he held a babe? Bilbo could not recall, but were they always this small? And quite hefty this little lass was! She began to squirm a bit, no doubt from not recognizing this stranger’s arms and Bilbo began to softly rock his arms.

“There, there,” he hushed. “Now, let’s get a look at you.”

He uncovered the blanket near her face, and he stilled. The little lass was fast asleep, her face flushed from the warmth of her blankets but rather at peace with the new set of arms she found herself in. Bilbo was silent, studying every single movement and trying to commit it to his memory. If his mind wandered a bit more, he would have thought he was back in Brandy Hall so many years ago, when a proud Primula plopped a sleeping Frodo into his arms for the first time.

“Uncle, we’d like to introduce you to Elanor Baggins-Gamgee,” Frodo said, taking the empty spot next to Bilbo.

Bilbo sniffed, using his hand to wipe his eye. “The sun-star?”

“Half of all the maid-children in the Shire are named for flowers, but we wanted something different for her,” Frodo said, leaning in closer to Bilbo. “She’s beautiful and she’ll grow to be even more beautiful still.”

“Well, of course she will!” Bilbo laughed. “She’s a Baggins! Why, look at that hair! You know, your Aunt Dora’s hair was so thick that not even a comb could get through!”

“Goodness!” Sam said.

“I remember a time when your father tried to plait ribbons in her hair, Frodo! You should have seen the look on his face when the handle on the brush snapped like a twig! Oh, she was so cross with him, it was her favorite!” Bilbo laughed. “But the color! That is, of course, Samwise’s doing.”

“Nay, my own isn’t so bright, nor any of my relations if I can recall,” Sam said. “A lot of the babes born this past year are golden-haired, even if no one in the family is so!”

“Is that so?” Bilbo asked, brushing a stray curl back Elanor’s ear. “Well, if you will not take credit for the hair, then don’t bother denying the nose! My eyes may not be as sharp as they were when I was a spry tweener, but that’s a Gamgee nose if I ever saw one!”

Sam laughed, his freckled cheeks turning a bright red, “You’ve done and settled the score, Mr. Bilbo! All this time we haven’t been able to tell where she got it from but you say it as if it were plain as day!”

“You don’t think it reminds you of cousin Peony’s a bit, Bilbo?” Frodo asked, tucking the blanket back under Elanor’s uncovered feet.

“Your cousin Peony’s nose was a bit sharper, too sharp if I’m being truthful,” Bilbo said, bringing his finger up to Elanor’s nose to lightly tap the tip, “And with the freckles on top, little Elanor’s definitely a Gamgee, through and through!”

“If me old Gaffer were here, he’d say she turned out way too fine to be a Gamgee, but I know he’s being silly,” Sam chuckled.

“Bah, nonsense! I’ve always said Belle and he made such a beautiful family, but you know him better than I: too humble to accept any compliment! It’s like pulling teeth with him sometimes!”

That set them laughing, full and whole-heartedly until a soft coo mingled in. They stilled, Bilbo freezing in place as if he heard the rumbling snort of an awakening dragon all over again. Frodo and Sam shared a gentle smile between them.

“I believe someone has something to say about all our ruckus,” Frodo said. Bilbo looked down and was caught in the gaze of two, clear blue eyes. Elanor stared at him, her round face calm as if she was still deciding whether Bilbo was a new friend or not. Her small eyebrows were set in the same fashion of Frodo whenever he was in deep debate over which book he would spend the afternoon with, or whenever Sam would concentrate on his rose pruning out in the gardens. Bilbo could not stop the overwhelming joy bubbling within him.

“Hullo there,” Bilbo whispered, offering his finger to Elanor. She considered it for a long while when at long last, her clear eyes shone bright and she took his finger between her strong grip. She laughed happily, showing off the slight gap between her growing front teeth. Bilbo laughed, the tears welling in his eyes flowing freely down his wrinkled cheeks.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you too, Elanorellë,” Bilbo said.

***

By nightfall, the company settled quite comfortably under the stars. The meal was modest, but quite enjoyable after days of travel and before long, the elves were resting peacefully under the soft starlight.

However, the night was still young at least according to hobbit standards.

A ways away from the elves, the hobbits huddled around a cheery fire, their bellies full from the bit of stew Sam threw together and the ale Frodo managed to bring along for the trip. Although the elves in Rivendell tried their best to replicate hobbit fare and Bilbo appreciated the efforts, nothing could quite compare to a proper hobbit meal in the Shire itself.

They talked of many things – Lotho and Sharkey, the rebuilding efforts, this past season’s remarkable harvest, and all the doings of any hobbit in and around Hobbiton Frodo and Sam could think of. No wonder Frodo’s letters were so to-the-point – he would have been sending a book each time otherwise! And even with all their catching up and reminiscing, Elanor stayed right in Bilbo’s arms, making quite the fuss if her new cousin made any effort to settle her down in her basket.

When each of their corners were properly filled and every story that could be told was recounted, the fire was banked and the hobbits clamored into the carriage and settled into their bedrolls, ready for what the next leg of the journey held in store for them.

All except for Bilbo.

Maybe it was a pesky pebble under his bedroll, or the slight chill in the air that kept him turning about, but Bilbo was at his wit’s end. How long he strayed between waking and sleeping, he could not tell but it was no use making so much fuss when everyone else was fast asleep. As quiet as he could, Bilbo reached for his cloak and slipped out from under his roll.

Sam was turned to his side, his soft snores lulling Elanor into a deep sleep. It was a comforting sight to Bilbo at first, until he caught a glimpse of the empty roll next to Sam. Frodo was nowhere in sight, and the flap to the carriage cover was left undone. Worry started to grip him tight and ever so gently as not to wake the other two, Bilbo slipped out of the carriage and onto the clearing.

The stars glimmered against the dark sky but they paled compared to the evening-star, shining steady but brilliantly compared to all others. Bilbo felt his breath catch, mesmerized at its gentle beauty and after a long while of contemplating its light, he let his eyes fall back down to the earth. Right below the star, Frodo sat alone by the empty fire pit.

“It hasn't fully healed, if that’s what you’re getting at,” Frodo sighed. “There are days where I feel somewhat at peace, but there are others where it feels as if the sickness has me completely in its hold. Sam helps the best he can in those times, Rosie as well, but I'm afraid they can only do so much.”

Biblo tried to picture it: Frodo, in the throes his sickness while Sam and the Cotton lass helplessly tried to do anything to ease him. No, he shouldn’t use ‘helpless’. He was confident they both did everything within their hobbit-sense to help Frodo, that much was clear. But even so, a nagging whisper in the corner of his mind would not relent.

“Do you believe this to be the best choice, Frodo?” Bilbo asked, unsure of the question himself. Frodo was silent, his brow creased as he considered his words.

“It was always a chance to be healed,” Frodo said, returning Bilbo's firm grip, “Never a guarantee. But even so, there was a time when I was prepared to take the offer. I couldn’t bear the thought of burdening Sam, even after everything we have endured, but then one day, I found him crying in the potting shed all by himself. I brought him back inside and after a long talk, I found that it was not the first time Sam had hid away in such a manner. The thought of him suffering alone pained me and when I asked why, wouldn’t you believe it- he didn’t want to be a burden to me! All that time, we had suffered in silence without the other knowing, when we could have suffered together! And I was about to leave these lands so we could continue suffering alone?” Frodo scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Bilbo, I understand the risk in my decision, and how it worries you so. However, this is a risk I am prepared to make. For myself, for Sam and for Elanor.”

“I have never doubted your decisions, my lad, nor do I plan to start,” Bilbo said, bringing up one of his wrinkled hands to Frodo’s pale cheek, “I know you’re doing what you think is best, like how you’ve always done. My only wish is that you find your rest at last. You, out of anyone in this world, have earned as such.” Frodo smiled and wrapped his slender arms around Bilbo.

“It will not be an easy road, but Uncle, I truly believe I will find my rest here in the Shire. There’s so much to be and to do, and being able to try and experience it all with Sam and Elanor by my side is worth more to me than any Elvish healing can bring,” Frodo said.

Bilbo was silent, the dust in the wind clouding his vision of course, and without any further word, he returned Frodo’s embrace. All was quiet among the wood, but perhaps the sharpest of elf ears in Elrond’s company caught the faintest of sniffling in the breeze.

***

“We shall be arriving within the hour, Little Master.”

Bilbo yawned and faced the kindly Elf at the doorway. After the ship casted off from the Grey Havens, he found it rather difficult to keep track of their days out on the Sea. What felt like weeks to him were just mere days to the Elves and decided it was best to leave it be.

“I shall rather believe it when I set foot on the docks,” Bilbo chuckled. The Elf laughed brightly and dismissed himself, leaving Bilbo alone in his small room. He stretched and stood from his seat by the desk, still marveled at the ease his old bones moved. Master Elrond credited their proximity to the Blessed Land, and wondered what other changes awaited him once they docked.

It was quite the change, he supposed. Becoming the first mortal, much less hobbit, to even breathe the sweet air of the Blessed Land was quite the ordeal. While the promise of a new adventure awaited him, Bilbo could not help but wonder how long would it be until he could truly call the Land his home?

His eyes (ah, no more need to squint) fell to his bags by the foot of his bed, and lingered on Frodo’s gift. It was large, wrapped in a soft cloth and was rather light. Bilbo recalled the cries of the gulls as they stood on the docks, sharing one last hug with his dear nephew. When they pulled apart, Sam handed Frodo the gift, wiping his tears with newly free hand. Elanor cooed curiously as she looked on, not quite understanding what was before her (though he knew with time, her fathers would explain).

“When you reach the other side of the Sea,” Frodo sniffed, handing the gift to Bilbo, “We hope this small piece will help you remember The Shire.”

He supposed he could wait until they reached Elrond’s estate on the Isle, but the anticipation was too much for an old hobbit. A small peak wouldn’t hurt. With the utmost care, Bilbo picked up the gift and placed it onto his bed. The thread keeping the cloth together was simple and gave him no trouble undoing it. Slowly, he uncovered the folds and felt the breath leave him.

A painting laid before him, and if Elf magic were real, it might as well have been a passage back to The Shire. Bag End was captured in all the quaint beauty he remembered it but, his eyes were focused on the stoop. Frodo and Sam stood side-by-side, smiling softly with Elanor held between the both of them.

They will age- both lads growing more lines and gray hairs as the years went by while Elanor would only grow more in beauty. Perhaps more bairns would be added to their growing brood (imagine, Frodo with a brood of his own!), but for now, they remained frozen the way he left them at the Grey Havens.

Bilbo smiled, feeling tears pool in his eyes, “I doubt I’ll forget The Shire anytime soon, my dear boy.”

#samfrodo #frodo x sam #lotr #lotr fic #fotfics #frodo baggins #sam gamgee #samwise gamgee #miki.fic

[kcscribbler]

3, 5 and 29 for the writer asks, please!

Ooh, fun! Thank you, anon!

Full Ask List Here

3. What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

However Improbable, my Star Trek TOS/ACD Sherlock Holmes crossover written for NaNoWriMo a loooooong time ago.

It was my very first TOS fic (why I chose to do a novel-length crossover as my initiation is anyone's guess), and to this day is still probably the most fun I've had writing anything. I'd like to think I balanced the characterization of both universes fairly well, but the reader is the judge.

Crossovers can be tricky, and they're not for everyone, but I had far too much fun with this one. I will always remember it fondly.

5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?

At one point, I had a Star Trek TOS Alternate Universe series plotted out based on the OG Mission Impossible television show (from the same general time period as TOS, and as fabulous in its own way). The show actually featured Leonard Nimoy for two of the seasons, and it's generally delightful. Much more so than the big-budget films of the same franchise, in my humble opinion. 8/10, would recommend.

(Plot under the cut)

If I remember correctly, the AU started on the premise of Operation-Annihilate going badly wrong (an idea which later morphed into An Equitable Trade, FWIW), whereupon Jim Kirk was quietly discharged from Starfleet service in the ensuing scandal, and Spock basically said live long and fuck off with that and followed him. In this AU, the rest of the crew weren't originally aboard the Enterprise, and were picked up along the way through the ensuing ridiculous adventures across the galaxy, per typical MI format.

I actually had one 'episode' partially written a long time ago, before I got smart enough to back things up online, and lost it in a laptop crash. RIP my most ridiculous idea.

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

This was cut last month from one of my Whumptober fics, as I decided to go a couple different directions with the TOS movie era instead.

“What on earth are you doing.”

Seated on the couch with at least a dozen takeout containers of various shapes and sizes stacked in perfectly neat, consistently spaced rows on the coffee table, Spock raises an eyebrow at him. “It was indeed, on Earth. During our recent sojourn in the Terran past, you informed Dr. Taylor that I found Italian food to be pleasing.”

“…Yes? Is that why you ordered what looks like the entire vegetarian menu from Angelo’s?”

“I must have a full data set in order to confirm a valid hypothesis.”

“Of course.” He doesn’t even bother to hide a smile. “But your face tells me it hasn’t been confirmed.”

“Correct.” Spock looks mildly uneasy about this discrepancy, though he indicates the barely-touched cartons with what looks like resignation. “I admit to feeling a slight sense of disillusionment, in the matter. It would seem that either you were in error, or that my taste for such things has changed during the process of my refusion.”

Jim’s too tired to do this standing up, right now, so he clambers over a hilariously untidy stack of of cartons on the rug (clearly overflow from the table) in order to collapse on the couch as well, exhaling in a long breath of relief at being able to get off his feet for a few minutes.

“I mean, it’s certainly possible your tastes have changed, Spock. But I think it’s more likely that you just haven’t got the right dishes.”

“How precisely is one to know which are ‘right’.”

Jim turns his head, still resting on the back of the couch, and gestures at the pile of cartons. “You like Italian, typically pasta; but you dislike strong garlic flavor. Since garlic is pretty ubiquitous in Italian food, when we order in or go out, we typically ask them to make yours without much of it.”

“Ah.”

“Angelo’s has a pumpkin ravioli this time of year that you refuse to admit is your favorite, because favorites are illogical.”

“I did not see this option on the menu.”

“That’s because since it’s seasonal, it’s not on the carryout menu,” he replies. “You’ve complained more than once about having to call and actually talk to someone to order it, instead of using the automated system.”

“I did not recall that detail with any clarity,” Spock admits, looking more downcast than before.

He reaches over to put a steadying hand on Spock’s arm. “You’ve recalled nearly every detail that is important; we can deal with the rest. That’s what I’m here for,” he says quietly.

“I have taken enough advantage of your patience in the matter.”

“Incorrect. You’ve never taken advantage of me or anyone else, that I can recall. I’m not sure it’s even in your nature.”

“That appears to be a highly subjective assessment fueled by an emotional viewpoint.”

“Well, I am an emotional human. So that viewpoint is logical for me.” Seeing Spock’s clearly baffled expression, he hastens to add, “But from the Vulcan viewpoint: I do have all my memories, so I think my opinion should be trusted more than yours in the matter.”

Spock considers this for a moment, and then nods. “That is eminently logical.”

#star trek the original series #star trek tos #sherlock holmes #acd holmes #fanfic writing #ask box

[ourimpavidheroine]

You've said you don't do modern AUs but if you did, who would have social media? And what kind?

That's true, I usually don't. But you know what? Why the fuck not!

Of the original generation, I think Su Beifong is the ultimate Facebook Grandma. Where she is the queen of humble bragging, FOR SURE. I don't think Baatar Sr would be into social media much at all - just not really his thing. I think Pema might also have FB, where she would post sweet updates and occasional Boomer memes and DM her family. Lin would not be caught dead on social media and refuses to look at anybody else's posts. LoLo would probably belong to the same private FB group as Bumi II and Iroh II. It's probably called something rude like SEAMEN 4 U or something. Where they reminisce over past exploits and compare fire whiskey or something. Post stupid Navy memes. I think both Izumi and Kya would be on FB, but they'd be private accounts and only for the sake of seeing family pictures and sending DMs to the rest of their generation.

Tenzin would probably have official Air Nation social media with lots of useful information. Which would actually be overseen by Jinora, of course. I think poor Tenzin would be confused by social media. And avoid it as much as possible. Jinora would probably do most of the posting and all of the accounts would be very well done.

Asami doesn't have time for social media; she has a PR firm that does Future Industries social media for her. Korra probably has both Twitter (I refuse to call it you know what) and TikTok, where she is the ultimate Gen X poster, and quite popular with all age ranges. There's air guitar. There's showy displays of bending. There's hilarious interviews with spirits. Every once in awhile she gets serious, as well. She's very popular because she's the Avatar. She's pretty busy, so she's not a daily poster by any means, but is still well liked. She has matured enough that she just blocks trolls instead of debating them.

Wu has FB, Instagram, Twitter - all of which are connected and basically post the same thing. Nothing live because the man would not be caught dead without anything wholly and completely curated and photoshopped. While he does write most of his posts and takes some photos, his posts are curated by his PR firm before being published and are meant to represent the Hou-Ting family as a whole. The Pool of Golden Blooms does have social media, but it's done by his publisher. Wu does have a private FB account so he can keep up with friends and family, however.

Mako would have Whatsapp so he could get in touch with folks but that would be about it. He'll gamely watch whatever memes anyone else shows him, though. He's often included in Wu's posts and he's okay with it. As long as he isn't required to actually keep up with it.

Qi would have Insta only; no candid shots, but something incredibly stylish and cool. Fashionista account, for sure. Followed by thousands and thousands. Never responds to anyone. Please. As if they would. Scorpio.

Bolin is the KING of social media. One of those celebrity actor accounts that everyone loves. He'd be like the Mark Hamill of Avatar Social Media. Or the Neil Gaiman. He'd respond as much as he could.

Opal would be the Georgia Tennant of Twitter and Instagram. Enough said.

Nuo would have FB and Instagram. She would not post all that much, but she'd keep up with what everyone else was doing. However, she and Wu would Facetime daily. There is official Zaofu social media but that's done by the PR team.

Wing would mostly post stuff about his garden. Wei would mostly post stuff about his pro-bending. Neither of them is very regular. They are both pretty busy with their lives and are more outdoorsy dudes anyhow.

Ikki mostly does live blogging, and she's fairly popular. Sometimes Baatar Jr is in it by accident and he is HIGHLY CRANKY about it, which Ikki thinks is hilarious. Most people think he's doing it as part of a long-running joke but no. He's legit crabby. He thinks social media is the downfall of civilization and refuses to use it. (When it is pointed out to him that his Aunt thinks the same he gets real fucking pissy.)

Huan does Twitter and Insta, but only about his art. He doesn't interact.

Meelo does regular live blogging like his sister, mostly about the Southern Air Temple as well as the school for the Deaf they have there. I would imagine he would do some sort of YouTube channel to learn Sign Language. (I have a lot of headcanons about Meelo eventually coming into his own and being an amazing teacher.)

Rohan? Too busy for social media, probably, although if Jinora asked him to do something specific for Air Nation social media he would gladly help out.

Hou-Ting kids? Naoki would do occasional Instagram posts, probably. It would focus a lot on her bending/her students' bending. She wouldn't do anything with regards to the Fire Nation court - that would be done by the official Fire Nation Royal accounts. Hemadri, on the other hand, would have a very popular Twitter account. People think it's Naoki doing it, but it's actually Lady Uma, which is something only Juziya, Naoki, and Sozui know. Juziya and Sozui would be covered by the official Fire Nation Royal accounts as well.

Zhi along with San would do popular desert, bug and geology videos/blogs across social media. They'd be like the Avatar version of Shane and Ryan with some Bear Grylls thrown in. Great rapport and really fun videos that actually teach people things. Ping and Amak sometimes show up. There are many calls in the comments for Ping to take his shirt off. Ping is mortified.

Meili would not do social media often but when she did it would be about her clinic and/or charity work, never anything personal. Meili is a very private person. Tupilek would keep up social media for Bridge Clinic, and would have a private FB account to keep in touch with his family down south.

Sayuri wouldn't do social media, except for her wholly anonymous and totally secret Tumblr account, which would be full of weird fandom stuff. She'd have the shoelaces, okay?

Zu also has a private Tumblr account, also full of weird fandom stuff. Neither of them know the other one has one. When they eventually find out, they will think it is H I L A R I O U S. They still won't follow each other, however, because they both understand the importance of having their own thing to themselves.

Orchid would be a social media QUEEN. Mommy blogger. Business woman blogger. Come see gorgeous Zaofu blogger. Beauty tips blogger. Sponsored blogger. Absolutely. Iris? No time, could not care less. Rose? Oh god no. She'd have a sophisticated website for her jewelry business but it would be done professionally, she'd have nothing to do with it. Poppy? Twitter. Where she would be known for being just savage to people who pissed her off. As would Jai, who would offend people on the regular. God help you if you attempted to troll one of them, because the other would come gunning for you.

Bu would probably blog every once in awhile, but not consistently. Pearl? No. She's as much offline as she can be.

Goba has a popular YouTube channel where he teaches Airbending meditation techniques and body strengthening exercises that anybody can use.

Katara II would have a YouTube channel about archival techniques, as well as Airbending history - which are mostly voiceovers, since she's not comfortable in front of the camera. She'd be well-known and appreciated, but more among the academic crowd. Tseten would enjoy social media, but wouldn't be consistent. A month of daily blogging and then six months of nothing while he'd be neck deep into his art.

Bhuti has one of the most popular travel blogs in the world. She'd be one of those people who would have an entire TikTok channel of her dancing with various people all over, that kind of thing. She's fun, she's engaging, she goes everywhere. Ever wanted to hear an air bison fart? Bhuti's got you covered. People love her, and she does lots of fun and spontaneous interviews as she travels as well.

#my fanfic #long post

[skipperdencker95]

funny 3

Finest Funny Animal Movies Of The 2021 Humorous Wild And Cattle Videos These April Fools' memes will make this day of practical jokes a bit extra bearable. A job that requires no experience, pays nothing, and has no days off? That's motherhood, however these mom jokes will... Funny describes one thing that causes enjoyable, particularly laughter. Funny can describe someone who is making an attempt to amuse others. It can also describe someone or one thing that's suspicious or odd. Funny has a number of other senses as an adjective and a noun. Amusing, comic, comical, droll, humorous, laughable, risible, zany.

But “whatever” made it humorous instead of staying because the butt of the joke herself. At its most basic stage, the Rule of 3 establishes a sample, then ends with something sudden. It’s type of humorous, and your mind perks up as a end result of it was an sudden flip to the Rule of three. Uncle Google says that “be surprising” is the way to be funny. One approach to be surprising is to play with numbers. "The article really goes over a lot of detail. Good job." % of people informed us that this article helped them. Be very careful with being humorous about sacred cows, from faith to politics. Everything may be funny however generally if you go "too far" in someone else's eyes, they'll call you on it. Funny additionally describes someone who's trying to get others to snicker or is trying to amuse them.

Humorous Quotes

Be an active listener and be taught every little thing you probably can about comedy. Listen fastidiously to others, actually hear them, and understand what they're about. There's nothing extra humble than admitting that you could always be taught to be funnier from other people. When you're busy focused on folks other than yourself, you'll get a greater sense of tips on how to help others through humor.

Bring vs. Take Both words imply motion, however the distinction might b...

What’s most essential is someone’s heart, but the lack of training can, in some instances, put an end to any lovey-dovey emotions.

It’s funny how Pat all the time disappears whenever there’s work to be done.

We never actually grow up, we solely learn how to act in public.

This is much easier than trying to provide you with jokes on the spot.

If the timing is all mistaken, don't mess with the joke. The worst you are capable of do as a funny person is attempt to deliver a joke after your window of alternative has passed. Don't worry, you may have plenty of alternatives to crack by way of the silence along with your whip of a wit. Misleading animal is what we referred to earlier as shock.

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Even if all you do is cobble collectively your individual humorous plan based on one admired trait from each person, you'll be bettering your remark abilities tremendously. Immersing your self like this will assist you to develop a toolbox of techniques you should use to be humorous.Comedy has taken the podcast world by storm lately. Comedy podcasts by individuals like Marc Maron and Joe Rogan can be found at no cost online and have hilarious interviews, jokes, and tales you can upload to cellular devices. The means that Joel and crew simply kind of... Leave her to her fate was sort of darkly funny, whether it was meant to be or not. What’s most important is someone’s heart, however the lack of education can, in some cases, put an finish to any lovey-dovey emotions. We've compiled a list of a few of the best jokes about mom nature for you to take pleasure in. Cats have a novel and amusing personality that makes them considered one of web's favourite creatures. My dad and mom continually have remarks and behaviors that are sudden.

You would possibly assume that the story of you tripping and falling at the grocery retailer doesn’t qualify as a joke. Actually, jokes are harder to inform in real life than stories. A joke is a fake story that units up for a punchline. If the punchline falls flat, you discover yourself looking like a fool.

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On April 1st, everyone can get in on the enjoyable. These easy April Fools’ pranks for kids are sure to... Can't find the right words for Dad this Father's Day? These humorous Father's Day quotes are sure to get him... Use one of these pickup traces to create a spooky connection. I am so intelligent that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

#weird #amazing #animal #creativity #wonder #inspiration #art #people #funny #photography

[pre1ude]

@s4ints , sent 👫 for four headcanons about our muses' relationship

1.

Listen, I don't know when Death turns human and I suspect it happens centuries before Danny is even born, but let me be indulgent for a second. It becomes clear that Daniel can hear them rather early in life. He's seen death (not literally) on a consistent level since he was 5, from the men whose life he didn't mean to end to small critters whose ends he happens to witness. Apparently, one upside to enhanced hearing is he can sense things beyond his understanding or even his physical plane, because there's the ever-present sound of a soft tread and the nagging feeling that he is never alone during those moments. He first tries to talk to the unseen entity at 9 when Ms Spot dies of old age in his arms and he asks them to keep her good company, she's a special dog after all. The last time he does is at 27, standing over the body of his mother. He doesn't mourn her, there is no need, but he ventures to make a small, humble request, that if they can hear him, could they tell her he's sorry?

2.

They probably just meet at random otherwise. Through Eshaq maybe, who has a very Dionysian/Aphroditian interest in Danny's music and an egotistical predilection for playing muse to some simple, if supernaturally-gifted human man? Turns out they've got a buddy who needs to couch-crash or alternatively a fun new friend for Danny and would he like to see a fallen god?? Hilariously enough Dan takes to Death like a puppy. He's got a deeply ingrained respect slash fear of authority, no matter if it's still functioning as authority or not. Death? THE Death? Well goodness.. He has a billion questions for them, of course, and far too much decorum to ask them all at once, so he just patiently listens to them talk and tries to glean the primordial secrets of human creation and destruction from two ex-deities shooting the shit within his earshot. He still asks after Spot and his actual, biological mama, and if they're doing alright in the afterlife or whatever place awaits the mortally uncoiled (he asks about heaven and hell too, catholic upbringing), before likely being promptly informed Todd hasn't been Death for a long while now, so they wouldn't know.

3.

On their general interactions. Listen.. Danny's ridiculously glad to meet someone even more badly adjusted to human and social life than him. It puts him in a first-time position of competence by comparison and so he takes the liberty of teaching them a few things. At the very least they're well taken care of, well-informed about human circadian rhythms and health diets, and strictly instructed to do as Danny says, not as he does. The socials come less naturally to either of them and can only be described as bad attempts at human mimicry on both their parts. It involves a lot of huddled strategizing and hatching increasingly ridiculous backstories for how Todd came about. Most times, he introduces them as his distant german cousin that's staying with him for the time being. Occasionally they're his sibling when he can't remember the previous surname he gave them. Introducing, Todd Perkins!

(consider also: Dan and Todd's DMV Adventures. Featuring: the hassle of getting a primordial deity their very first ID, explaining why at 25 (26?) they still have so little legal documentation and knowledge of the world at large that it more suggests alien ship crash landing rather than birth, a very tired and suspicious employee who nevertheless turns a blind eye and Dan teaching Todd how to read. Guest appearance from: Danny's new yorker 'uncle' Hal who procured fake birth certificates for him and Patricia some 13 years ago and who blissfully doesn't ask too many questions this time either.)

4.

On a more serious note: For all their differences in birth, duty, experience and power, I think Daniel and Todd can fundamentally agree on and bond over one glaring similarity: they are both outsiders. It goes beyond social outcasting, mentally they do not associate themselves with the human race whatsoever and never have. They've only passively watched life happen and people trudge along from afar, Danny from his deep isolation and Todd from the impassive throne as king-sentinel, until both are thrust into a position where assimilation is inevitable, even if neither has been provided the tools to make that change smoothly. They don't experience the world as most people do, they don't hit the regular benchmarks, they have to mind their step so as not to tread on delicate sensibilities and beliefs and the fragile lives around them, Dan with his destructive abilities and Todd, still in possession of ancient eldritch knowledge of the world that could break a human mind. And yet they have to follow the rules, they have to live as expected or elsewise suffer some loneliness for it. And I think they can soothe that in each other. Or at least go the road together. Of course Daniel would initially be of the mindset that anything less than perfect assimilation is a failure, he hates feeling wrong, Other or fundamentally different and does his best not to estrange or disappoint people, and I think Todd, who's anthitetically disenchanted and yet fond of humanity, can be immense help in that. It is rather silly to aim for boringly normal, after all. What a low bar to set oneself.

+ 1

Todd's birthday is a two-day affair as far as he's concerned - oct 31st and nov 1st, and he always insists they pregame during halloween. Partly for the irony alone, mostly because it's just the best holiday. Dan's a decent gift-giver, by all means, but not very creative. What can you give to a millenia old entity who's seen it all, really? He's keen on taking them places and gifting them experiences (seen everything doesn't mean done everything, that much becomes clear when he sees them eat Food for the first time), but if they don't visit for a celebration, he defaults to buying a present anyway and keeping it handy for the next meeting. It's mostly dumb little trinkets that remind him of Todd, hopefully enough for a laugh. There's a period of four years they don't see each other, during which, yes, he amasses a hoard of little skull-shaped things and giddily waits for their next meeting to present them. Trolling gods is actually very funny. and it's mostly fine if he does it with love.

#➻ 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐈 𝐀𝐒𝐊 𝐎𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔 —《answered.》 #s4ints . death #at this point it's just 5 headcanons #anyway i knoW THIS IS SO OLD BUT HAVE IT #i love them v much #danny and his funky auntcle cousin sibling #who sounds like they're millenia old #he can't take them anywhere smh 😔

[fairy-writes]

Hello! hopefully the matchup slots are still available & is so can i ask for bsd and moriarty?

my pronouns are she / her and my hogwarts house is ravenclaw. I’d prefer a male matchup and i don’t mind it being romantic. Personality wise i am very quiet ,ironic and nonchalant . I tend to go at my own pace but others around me say im pretty hardworking & intelligent. Lastly i would describe myself as someone humble and highly accepting. -My hobbies include learning about forensics , zoology and medical sciences. Though i do play basketball / volleyball in my past time. Other activities are painting ,digital art , piano and my favorite of all taking four hour long naps !!

-Likes / dislikes: •likes : osteology dogs sweet-tea rnb

lemon flavory mythology thunderstorms

•dislikes : flying bugs sticky heats ants nagging squash

For what im looking for in a partner is just someone who always works hard to achieve something and i can talk with about are common interest. And of course someone honest and direct. ~Hopefully this is enough information and i thank you in advance!

HI LOVELY! I’M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG

Bungou Stray Dogs Matchup: I pair you with… Kunikida Doppo! 

A fellow Ravenclaw! You are both studious and work well together! He is a bit louder (mainly when dealing with Dazai), but the two of you do have a lot of quiet moments where you simply bask in each other’s presence. He admires your humble nature and aspires to be like that as he continues to better himself. 

He isn’t very good at sports unless you count martial arts, then he spars a lot, and if you want to learn, he will be glad to teach you! He just wants you to be safe, and learning to defend yourself is an essential step in that! The two of you bond over studying! Him with whatever he’s interested in at the time, and you with forensics, medicinal sciences, and zoology!

You are the only one who can actually get him to slow down! Kunikida works hard in what he does and sometimes forgets to take a break. However, all it takes is a hand on his shoulder and the quiet call of his name before he is willingly shutting his laptop and following you to the break room for a nice cup of tea. 

Moriarty the Patriot Matchup: I pair you with… Albert James Moriarty!

I SAID THIS BEFORE BUT LET’S GO, MY FAVORITE MAN,

Albert is definitely a Slytherin, so the two of you are a bit scary when you’re having intense discussions! Now arguments, but talks about forensic science or whatever the topic is that day. Moran knows firsthand not to get in between you two when you are debating things which is hilarious to see, haha! Despite your quiet nature, you can get heated with Albert when talking about something you disagree on. But they’re friendly debates! Nothing to be worried about!

The two of you are both incredibly hardworking and intelligent. William knows that if he needs something done, he can ask you two, and depending on what it is, it’ll be on his desk or completed by the end of the night. 

You two are frequently found in the Moriarty estate library. You frequent the osteology and forensic science section, while he goes more for politics and other academic journals. This means you guys can have all the reading dates you want! It isn’t uncommon for you two to be found curled up on the couch next to a blazing fireplace and just snuggling as you read. There are no words, just a comfortable silence :)

#fairytailwzard matchup #fairytailwzard matchups #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #kunikida doppo #doppo kunikida #bsd kunikida #bungou stray dogs kunikida #bungo stray dogs kunikida #ynm #moriarty the patriot #yuukoku no moriarty #moriarty albert #albert james moriarty #albert moriarty

[pockykierra]

Oneirokritis, The One Who Interprets Dreams - Chapter One

Cross-posted on A03

Let it be known, Crowley wasn’t usually one to hang around with God’s “chosen ones” - they were either far too arrogant or far too gracious for him to stand hanging around for long. Granted, the ones She spoke to didn’t usually take kindly to a demon being around anyhow. So it was - as Crowley would call it - a mutual hesitation from both sides. Occasionally, Hell sent him directly to interfere in their lives - like with Job, though he didn’t technically do that job exactly as Hell might have wanted - but most times, he chose to stay away. 

The exception was Joseph - Child of Jacob and Rachel, Son of Israel, Overseer of the Pharaoh’s Granaries, and Probably Another Long, Pompous Title of Some Kind.  

Crowley was drawn to him from the moment he saw a seventeen-year-old Joseph crowing to his brothers about the dreams he had of ruling them all. The gall and ego of the young man had endeared Crowley to him instantly - because despite the dreams obviously being sent from God, he didn’t strive to be humble about them in the slightest. He acted how any young boy would when given such information, and Crowley loved it. Joseph felt far more genuine than someone like Job, who praised at the feet of his God even when said God had willingly forsaken him. 

Joseph was just so- different than all the others. He was funny and witty and snarky, and whenever he saw Crowley, he greeted him with a cheer and a slap on the back. And he was always going on and on about his newest dream, which Crowley listened to with rapt attention. He didn’t need to - because he certainly had no intentions of interfering with the boy and his God-given dreams - but he did anyway. It was nothing, if not hilarious, to listen to Joseph try to parse out the meanings of each and every dream he had, even when Crowley was sure most were just regular old dreams and nothing more.

It was just unfortunate that the young man couldn’t resist being boastful to his brothers, who already had a rather obvious grudge against him for being favored by their father. 

Granted, being a little prideful and daddy’s favorite probably didn’t warrant being beaten, thrown into a pit, and then sold into slavery - but his brothers deemed it so. 

Crowley hadn’t seen said beating and selling happen; he had only witnessed the aftermath. He had been speaking with Rachel - a rather kind and remarkable woman - when the brothers had returned with sorrowful faces and a ripped and bloodied multi-colored coat to show their father. They asked with grief if it was Joseph’s - as if they hadn’t known. As if they hadn’t been the ones to rip it up and dip it in goat’s blood. Crowley wasn’t the best of demons at times, but he could smell their lie wafting through the air. 

Regardless, the lie worked. Jacob and Rachel were greatly upset about the “death” of their cherished son, crying and mourning him for days on end. And since Crowley wasn’t equipped to handle those kinds of emotions, he left to find out what really happened to Joseph.

(In hindsight, the whole ‘beating up and selling their brother’ seemed like something Aziraphale would pin on Crowley. And then Crowley would have to refute him with the ‘the humans did it all by themselves, no demon intervention needed’ thing, which seemed to be happening more and more. Granted, he didn’t see the angel much during Joseph’s lifetime - at the time, he hadn’t even known if Aziraphale had met Joseph.)

Eventually, Crowley was able to find the young oneirocritic, still tied up and on his way to a new land. And even though it was a terrible idea - a truly horrible one - Crowley stuck with him through every step of his journey through Egypt, starting from the moment he arrived and became a slave to the Pharaoh's head officer, Potiphar. 

Unfortunate situation, that. Crowley offered many times to take Joseph to his freedom (entirely indirectly, of course, because that would be helping someone, and Crowley wasn’t sure he could spin that to seem evil to Hell), but the young man refused each time. Even if - at first - the work was grueling and difficult, he told Crowley that there was something fulfilling in not being coddled. And Potiphar had become something of a mentor to him, even if he only took Joseph in because he was so obviously blessed by God. Crowley never asked if Joseph was aware of that - he was fairly sure he was, but he never said anything ill about his master. He looked up to him.

The same could not be said about Potiphar’s wife; Crowley could see how uncomfortable she made Joseph. Despite his many refusals, she did everything she could to charm Joseph without her husband knowing. Yet Joseph never said a word about it to his master. He told Crowley that he was sure eventually she would take the hint - and Crowley hadn’t refrained even a moment before telling him that he didn’t think “not taking the hint” was her issue. She understood his discomfort and simply didn’t care.

But Joseph still didn’t say anything. Because deep down, behind the sarcasm and wit and arrogance, he was a kind young man. Some would say ‘Touched by God, ' though Crowley wasn’t some. Joseph was much, much better than God. 

Crowley hadn’t been there when everything with Potiphar’s wife came to a head, when Joseph was near assaulted and then thrown into jail. He knew the wife was up to no good - but to have her betray him at his most vulnerable? Lie to cover herself and allow Potiphar to throw Joseph in jail? 

Well.

Crowley felt for him.

The first time he visited him in prison, Crowley hadn’t outright stated he was willing to get Joseph out - but he had alluded to it as much as he was able. One snap of the fingers and Joseph could walk free, his cell mysteriously left open. And yet, Joseph denied him, just as he had when he first arrived in Egypt.

“If I leave now, it will be an admission of guilt. Better to stay and think about what I’ve done to land myself here.” He said, looking entirely miserable as he did. But then he smiled. A bright, sun-ray of a smile that reminded Crowley just a bit too much of a certain angel with how brilliant it was. “I will be okay. I will always have my dreams - and you when you stop by.”

During his fourth visit, Crowley realized that Joseph definitely knew he wasn’t human. More than that, he had probably known for a while - the fourth visit was just when he became aware that the man might know something. They had been talking about- something. Something that had happened long before Joseph’s time - and certainly long before Crowley’s time if he was human - and Joseph had shot him a look that spoke volumes. A look that said, “I know what you are, but it doesn’t change anything.” 

Crowley would never, ever say it, but Joseph’s friendship in the wake of what Crowley was meant a lot. He had become so used to being turned away by those associated with God - human or not - that having one accept him as he was-

It was nice.

About nine years into Joseph’s sentence, Aziraphale told Crowley about the plans for Egypt (and the surrounding areas) over a drink or three. The drinking had surprised Crowley because the last time he had seen the angel, he had still been very hesitant about indulging in “human drunkenness.” At that point, he was all in on food, but other Earthly pleasures still had been decidedly off-limits. And yet they had drunk enough that Aziraphale’s words were slurring together, and Crowley had loosened up enough to take off his glasses.

“Suppose’tbe seven years of famine.” Aziraphale said, cradling his cup to his chest like someone was going to try and take it from him. “Not going- not going to be any good food around for a while.” 

He sounded so downtrodden that it hurt Crowley’s heart a bit. Poor angel - he had just begun his adventures with food (if one could call a few hundred years or so “just beginning”), and he was already being denied. Unless Heaven decided to move him elsewhere, he would be stuck without any new foods to try for a good few years.

“After seven years of prosperity, f’course. God plans to- to, um-” Aziraphale stared into his wine, eyebrows furrowed as he tried to remember what he was going to say.

“Give them ssssssome time?” Crowley supplied, the wine loosening his tongue to create that snake-like hiss he tried so hard to keep at bay. He took another drink as Aziraphale lit up.

“Yes! Yes, exactly. Give them time to store and plan.” He exclaimed, though soon after, his expression was dropping again. “Though, I- dunno’f they’re going t’be telling anyone about the famine. They might be? I think- oh, there was something about a dream to the Pharoh, but I can’t- I can’t remember exactly. It might not happen. So I s’ppose the seven years f’good fortune won’t matter in the end. Still no good food.” The angel finished, staring down into the red of his wine with a rather large pout.

After that, everything had clicked into place in Crowley’s mind. If the Pharaoh truly was going to have a dream about the coming years, he likely wouldn’t be able to interpret it, leaving them vulnerable to famine. But if there was someone who could interpret the dream-

The cards were laid out before Crowley - all he had to do was play the long game. 

And as someone with infinite time, he was great at doing just that.

Joseph still wouldn’t let Crowley help him leave his life behind bars - though he seemed to be doing rather well by himself, having long since charmed the warden of the prison and gained a bit of power even from within his cell - but that didn’t mean Crowley couldn’t- indirectly help. He was a demon, after all. What kind of demon would he be if he did what others told him to do? It was right evil, going against Joseph’s wishes.

His dastardly plan began with infiltrating the Pharaoh’s palace in search of the right targets. They were easy enough to procure - a butler and a baker already on thin ice with the Pharaoh for one reason or another. It was easy enough to tempt them into pushing just that little further, the baker a little more than the butler, though that was mostly on accident.

The rest was simple. Make sure the baker and butler were placed under Joseph’s care within the prison, find out what the Pharaoh's plans were for each of the men, and give them both dreams accordingly. Dreams weren’t at all Crowley’s specialty - and he surely made dreams Joseph could interpret- well, in his sleep - but they would do. Have Joseph interpret their dreams, and when the butler was inevitably released and placed back in his position and the Pharaoh had his dream - vavoom. Sorted. Joseph would have his out, the Pharaoh would know about the famine, and-

Aziraphale wouldn’t have to live without his food.

But, of course, it was mostly for Joseph.

Surprisingly, the plan went exactly how Crowley had hoped, despite having winged most of it, to be perfectly honest. The butler and baker told Joseph their dreams, which he correctly interpreted as the butler being freed and the baker being executed. Then, inevitably, when the Pharaoh started having odd dreams, Joseph was the first and only to be brought up by the butler. Gave him a rather rave review, as it were. 

And just like that, Joseph was freed and taken to the Pharaoh.

Everything after that happened so fast. Joseph interpreted the Pharaoh’s dreams about the coming years of prosperity and famine and was quickly promoted to handling the rationing for them. Joseph took to it all like- something. That is to say, he was very good at it. 

He was a busy, busy second-in-command - and yet, he still always had time for Crowley. And despite his new power and authority, he never lost that boyish charm or his overconfidence, or his love for a good joke or two.

It wasn’t even Crowley who came up with the idea to trick his brothers when they came groveling to Egypt two years after the famine began. The demon had been waiting for Joseph to return so they could finish their game of Senet when the man came to him in tears, reduced to a small, sniffling boy. It had been so long since he had seen his brothers, and despite all they did, he had missed them. More upsetting still was that the youngest, Benjamin - the only brother with whom Joseph shared a mother - was noticeably absent. 

“They did me wrong, but it took everything in my power not to hug them all, then and there.” He lamented to Crowley as he paced his room, hands wringing together. He had finally stopped crying, but he seemed right on the verge, ready to start again at any moment. “What am I meant to do? They stand before me asking for food, and I have half a mind to give them nothing and half a mind to give them everything. They seemed to be changed - humbled, even, but...”

This was an area Crowley could not advise on (though if anyone from Hell were to ask, he didn’t give advice at all. Ever). But in particular, with things involving family or friends-

Well, he just about told Joseph to let them rot in jail, just as Joseph had for their actions. Why should he forgive them? They wronged him. Cast him out. Forgot about him. Never once reached out, or gave a reason, or said sorry, or- 

Instead, he said, “Eh, why not test them? See where their loyalties lie and all that.” And then he took a drink, swallowing down the bitter taste in his mouth.

He hadn’t had to say anything else. Joseph’s eyes lit up with an idea, and moments after, he was bidding his brothers to fetch Benjamin and return. And when they did - and after the brothers had all dined together, and Joseph had one more cry with Crowley over seeing his young brother once more - Crowley watched with glee as Joseph commanded the steward of his house to place his expensive cup in Benjamin’s sack. 

It was a con for the ages, really, and not something Crowley would have expected from someone who received the word of God. He was so terribly proud of such a devious trick, snickering with Joseph about it once the steward returned. He only wished Aziraphale had been there to see it because the fit he would have thrown would have been absolutely hilarious. Crowley could imagine it word-for-word, along with all the delightful frowns and indignant moans from the angel.

In the end, everything turned out fine. Good, even. Joseph’s brothers proved themselves to be changed men; Joseph revealed himself to them, hugs and kisses were shared, and then he moved them all to Egypt, reuniting once more with his father and mother. For the first time in years, they were a big, happy family, laughing, eating, and living together. 

And Crowley wasn’t jealous about that at all, even a little. He was happy for Joseph. Really. And the ten-year nap he took afterward had nothing to do with it.

#aziracrow #good omens fanfiction #good omens #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #PKFanfics #fanfiction #crowly x aziraphale

[whimsicaldragonette]

ARC Review: Kids' Nonfiction Books for March 2023: Darwin's Super-Pooping Worm Spectacular and Destiny Finds Her Way

*Summaries, Ratings, and Reviews for both books below the cut.

Darwin's Super-Pooping Worm Spectacular by Polly Owen

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Publication Date: January 3, 2023

Synopsis:

Learn the funny and fascinating story of Charles Darwin and the groundbreaking discoveries his love of the humble worms led to in this hilarious illustrated book. Charles Darwin is widely known for his "Origin of Species" book, yet Darwin had another great love, and that was for worms. Told for the first time for children, this is the silly and fascinating true story of how Charles Darwin came to discover that the humble earthworm is the most important species on our planet. Darwin suspected worms were special but his scientist friends laughed at him. In a quest to find out the worms' special talent, Darwin played the bassoon to the worms to see if they could hear, laid out a picnic treasure hunt for them to see how well they could smell, among many other bizarre but entirely true experiments. But so far Darwin didn't find anything extra special about worms. Until, one day he realized that worms do have a superpower. They POO! Without their life sustaining, nutrient rich poo, there would be no plants and no animals on earth.  Darwin's 40 years studying worms is still essential to our understanding of worms today, and ever since, scientists have taken him VERY seriously, and never again laughed at his love of worms.  Told in a humorous and engaging way with non-fiction informationon each page to help educate alongside the story, curious minds will love this fact-filled, laugh-out-loud title. The story of Darwin and the worms not only centers around the perennially brilliant subject of poo, it teaches children about a key historic figure, the food cycle and deductive scientific thinking. It is also a heartwarming story of the triumph of a zany underdog who won't let bullies get in the way of his love for worms.

My Rating: ★★★★★

My Review:

This was super cute and my 3rd grader loved it and found it hilarious. (It has that universal kid appeal of talking about poop.) I can't believe I hadn't heard of Darwin's obsession with worms before.

The story was engaging and told with maximum humor. The illustrations were cute and humorous and matched the text perfectly. They also added quite a bit to the story.

I would definitely recommend this to kids in the 6-12 range who are interested in science.

*Thanks to NetGalley and Quarto Publishing Group - Wide Eyed Editions for providing an early copy for review.

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Destiny Finds Her Way: How a Rescued Baby Sloth Learned to Be Wild by Margarita Engle

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Publication Date: February 7, 2023

Synopsis:

Explore the Costa Rican rainforest with Destiny, a rescued orphan baby sloth who must learn to return to the wild, in this heartwarming true story from Newbery Honor winner Margarita Engle. Destiny must learn to be strong and confident after she loses the use of one of her eyes. Without her mother to protect her or teach her, Destiny is found and taken to a rescue center in Costa Rica. The little sloth soon befriends other orphaned sloths. Her poor eyesight, however, makes it hard for her to keep her balance. Eventually Destiny begins to use all of her senses to explore the world around her. But can she learn to climb? Can she master the other skills she needs to survive on her own? And will Destiny be brave enough to return to her wild, forest home? Join award-winning author Margarita Engle and photographer Sam Trull as they introduce you to the world of sloths in this inspiring story about overcoming obstacles and believing in yourself. For more true animal stories of rescue, friendship, and facing challenges, check out these National Geographic Kids picture books: Little Larry Goes to School A Leap for Legadema Natumi Takes the Lead A Friend for Lakota Jimmy the Joey

My Rating: ★★★★★

My Review:

This short book is packed full of information about sloths and what happens to those who have been rescued and are being rehabilitated. The photos on each page are gorgeous and show the sloths' personalities and activities.

I look forward to reading this with my 3rd grader. He is really into animals right now and I think he will enjoy learning about this.

The text is at an appropriate reading level for my 3rd grader and he should be able to read it himself. The layout of each page is attractive, with photos and text arranged in an aesthetically pleasing and easy to read manner that draws the eye around the page.

I would recommend this to any kid who loves animals or is interested in animal rescue. It would be great in an elementary school library or classroom library.

My kiddo did in fact really enjoy reading this one. He even chose to read most of it aloud (after bargaining for reading every other page while I read the rest) and was really into the story. He found all the sloth pictures very cute.

*Thanks to NetGalley and National Geographic Kids for providing an e-arc for review.

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