#THESE FICS DO INCLUDE A TW FOR DETAILED SUICIDE!!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

glitch-karma · 1 year

Note

Hi there! If requests are still opened, i'd love to make one :o (although it's a bit lengthy, so if you don't want to do it I understand!!)

TW for s**cide mentions from here forward btw! (common with any dazai fic, lolz)

I'd love to request a dazai x reader (fem or gn will work!) where he asks reader to commit double suicide with him, and to literally everyone's shock, they agree! So the agency (mainly kunikida and atsushi) have to repeatedly sabatoge their attempts, and during that time, the two start to get to know eachother better and grow closer whilst they aren't plotting their own demises. Eventually dazai starts to fall for them, but one day reader tries to attempt on their own life solo due to being unable to handle the pains and pressures of life anymore. Ofc they were rescued just in time, but it made him realize that he wants to see reader safe and happy, and that he had finally found his reason to live through his love for them. Extra points if he confesses his love at some point and reader accepts!!

Sorry if this was rant-y, i'm a huge sucker for angst to comfort :P either way tho, i hope you have a lovely rest of your day/night!

THIS RIGHT HERE IS A BEAUTIFUL STORY OH MY!!!!

-F!Y/n

-Y/n is a new worker at the Cafe under the ADA

-MAJOR SUICIDE WARNING!! (Including but not limited to: Blood, pills, self-harm, etc..) I am a sucker for graphic detail so you have been warned

-Also warning for puke

-Reader is kinda based off of Mafuyu from Project Sekai cause I said so (Btw pjsk simps gonna open up reqs for them when they become open again‼️)

-also reader has dull eyes cause anime logic

I did probably a concerning amount of research on suicide, (Plus looked for so long for Dazai's stupid lil book) for this so I hope you enjoy!

_____

Break time at the Armed detective agency usually means having some coffee at their favorite cafe. As the group sat down Dazai was glancing around when his eyes caught the sight of the new waitress waiting next to a barista Dazai frequently flirted with. The girl had semi-messy h/c colored hair, her eyes a dull e/c. Her features framed her face so beautifully. Dazai's mouth curled into a smirk as he stared at her. Kunikida caught wind and immediately irked. "Dazai.."

As the waitress approached the table, Dazai read the name stage reading "Y/n". He smiled as she stopped at their table. Before she could get a word out Dazai grabbed her hand in his. "Such soft hands.. And beautiful eyes as well. Would you, Belladona, do me the honors of accompanying me to a double suicide?"

WHACK

Dazai was now lying on the floor, as Kunikida brushed himself off. "I'm so sorry Ma'am, he's always like this-" Atsushi apologized as Y/n leaned down to the man on the floor. "I'd gladly join a double suicide." She smiled down at him.

. . .

"WHAT!?!"

"Really!?!" Dazai yelled as he stood up, grabbing Y/n's hand again. Y/n chuckled as she nodded at him. "I get off at 6. You work in this building correct? I'll meet you on the roof." "Yes yes, that sounds wonderful~!"

Everyone at the table stared shell-shocked as Y/n takes their order normally like nothing just happened. As dazai kicked his legs in his own little world, Kunikida Atsushi and Junichiro all stared at each other in concern. Kunikida pulled them behind a menu quickly.

"As much as I'd love to let that dimwitt meet his end, we need him and that girl to stay alive. It isn't right letting a young lady with so much life in her die with that blasted Dazai." Kunikida sighed. Atsushi and Junichiro nodded in sync.

"Once Dazai leaves to meet her we should follow them," Atsushi whispered. Junichiro hummed in agreement. "It's decided then." Junichiro finished. The three quickly separated from the menu as Y/n walked over and set down their drinks. As she walked away dazai starstruck-ingly called out; "See you tonight Madameeee~". Y/n peeked over her shoulder, smiling at him. Dazai felt his heart flutter a bit at those beautifully dull eyes.. They seemed to draw him in for more.

...

As Dazai whipped open the doors to the building roof, he caught sight of the lady ready to accompany him with his final dance. Her hair was gently blowing in the warm Yokohama breeze as she stared off into the sky. What was she looking at? Dazai didn't know. But her eyes looked so sickeningly dull in that moment. But still, so beautiful..

"I'm pleasantly surprised to see you here! I was concerned you agreed simply to make me leave you alone." The dark-eyed man said, leaning next to her. "I'd never joke about suicide. Such a beautiful ending to a sick existence." Y/n spoke lowly. In the cafe, she had a sort of customer voice, but there was no trace of it here. Dazai smirked a bit at this.

"I should let you know now, I'm not interested in pain. I don't know exactly what you're into though.." Dazai teased her. "Pain is not something I'm looking for either. Just a quick ending."

Dazai chuckled, quickly whipping out his little red book. "Suffocation, Hanging, Poisoning, Shooting, Jumping," He read off as Y/n stared at him. Only blinking in response. "All the ideas you could storm up are right here in this very book."

"Ah! What a glorious book,, if I wasn't planning on dying I'd buy a copy.." Y/n smiled lightly. "But.." she continued, grabbing the book and shutting it quickly. "I'd like to try jumping first."

With a quick grab of Dazai's shirt, the two were suddenly falling off the roof of the building. Y/n shut her eyes, waiting for the end of it all.

Poof.

The two landed on a bunch of garbage bags stacked up on each other. Y/n quickly sat up in disappointment as Dazai lay on the ground is fear and confusion. "Dang."

Dazai suddenly bursted into laughter. Y/n hummed, turning to him. "What's so funny?" Dazai wiped a tear from his eye as he sat up too. "You're the most forward suicidal girl I've ever met, my dear Y/n." He chuckled. Y/n blushed lightly before standing up.

"No matter.. We'll try again. Tomorrow. You can choose the method." She smiled at him. Dazai chuckled as he stood, lending her a hand up as he did so. "It's a date." He joked.

. .

"GAHHHH I THOUGHT WE WEREN'T GONNA MAKE IT." "Oh be quiet Atsushi, my Ideals were almost perfect."

There were the secret team, two sweaty messes, and one writing vigorously in his notebook. The three had watched Dazai enter the roof before running down to prepare in case they jumped, finishing just before they did.

"This might be a long couple of days.." Junichiro said quietly.

...

Day 2

"Oiiiii! Y/n dear!" Dazai yelled as he entered the roof. "Ah, hello Dazai." the girl lightly smiled. "What will we be doing today?"

Time after time,

Day 3

"Oh, Y/n you're here late! Well? Shall we begin?"

Attempt after attempt,

Week 3

"Dazai! Hurry we'll miss the train!" "Yes yes, my dear!"

The two met almost every day.

Month 2

The two had been testing the faith of this world as they attempted suicide again and again. Slowly, Dazai started to see something he hadn't before. Something fluttered in his chest..

The way she gets so distracted, the way she turned to yell at him when he took a joke too far, the way her nose scrunched up in such a way, those eyes.. Those beautifully dull eyes.

What was this feeling in Dazai's chest?

As Dazai thought intensely at his desk the others in the office grew worried. "What's up with Dazai today?" Atsushi mumbled. "I'm not sure.. I've never seen him think this much before."

"It's so clear what his problem is." Ranpo mumbled as he sucked on a loli. Dazai's head shot up immediately. "You know what this feeling is in my chest!? Please, explain Ranpo! Have I been poisoned? Is it fatal? Will I finally die? I can't die without Y/n."

Ranpo sighed as he bit off the lollipop. "No nothing of the sort, you're simply in love with that cafe waitress."

...

"Did he really just say that in front of us all!?"

Everyone at the agency thought in shock. Dazai's eyes were wide as he stared at Ranpo. His cheeks were flushed as he pondered the idea. The great Dazai? In love?

"This feeling in my chest.." He thought in shock. "That's a heart by the way," Ranpo smirked at the flustered Dazai. Dazai looked down for a moment, before springing up. He slammed his fist down loudly."This is..."

"Truly wonderful!!"

Dazai yelled as he pranced around the office. The majority of the group stared in dismay as he did so. "Ah, how perfect! I'm in love with the person I plan to meet my end with! We can plan a lovelier more passionate suicide now! How beautiful!"

"I should go confess right away! We can begin planning for our end together!" Dazai screamed with giddy as he threw his jacket on quickly. Ranpo's eyes scrunched together lightly as he thought. "You should go quickly, Dazai." He said as Dazai flung open the door.

"Will do!" Dazai yelled, running down the stairs to the cafe. As he opened the doors, he inhaled the lovely aroma of coffee before calling out. "Y/n my dear! I need to tell you something import-"

To Dazai's dismay, Y/n was nowhere to be seen in the cafe. He blinked a few times before walking towards one of the other workers. "Is Y/n here?" He asked with a hand covering his face.

"Ah, I'm sorry Dazai she didn't come in for her shift this morning.." The barista explained. Dazai's head popped up in surprise. "Uh, really?"

"Mhm, She didn't call in either. It's unlike her. She usually at least gives a call if she's gonna be late." The girl explained. Dazai's eyes furrowed as he thought.

"You should go quickly, Dazai."

Dazai's eyes shot open as he stared at the ground for a moment. "No.."

"Uh, Dazai?" The barista asked him. Dazai turned quickly, running out of the cafe in a hurry. His breath grew ragged as he ran quickly. He stopped in front of a familiar apartment complex to breathe. He then quickly ran in, ignoring the calls from a front desk worker. He sprinted and sprinted as he burst into Y/n's bedroom. "Y/n!" He screamed.

His eyes quickly scanned the room, finding it neatly tidied instead of the mess it was when he first visited her here. He then noticed the bathroom door shut tightly, while steam lightly flowed out of it. He ran to the door, trying the handle only to find it locked.

"Y/n!" He yelled, banging on the door. No answer. Dazai backed up quickly, before slamming his shoulder into the door, causing it to fly off its hinges. He looked up from the floor, seeing the sight he wanted to stop.

(Last major TW before we continue.)

Y/n laid in the bathtub fully clothed. The water from the faucet flowed continually, causing the room to fill with steam. A bottle of some unmarked pills laid on the bathroom floor, followed by a knife of which she'd used to make her wrist bleed. The fresh red liquid had been used to fill a small vile next to her.

Dazai quickly stood up, stopping the water before reaching his hands into the hot water. He wrapped his arms around Y/n's figure, lifting her up into his arms before placing her on the floor gently. He quickly ran to the medicine cabinet, grabbing a cotton swab and a roll of bandages.

He ran back to her fast, checking her pulse before sticking the cotton swab deep into her throat repeatedly until a steady stream of fresh puke left her lips. He pulled her into his arms as she came to, putting pressure on her wrist. Y/n's head felt fuzzy as she looked up at him. "Dazai.."

"Ah, you're conscious. Please stay awake, and don't move too much." Dazai whispered lowly. Y/n's head fog cleared as she came to. Realizing she'd been saved.

"No.." She mumbled as hot tears began to form. She suddenly became enraged. "Why you of all people.." "Y/n?"

"I thought you understood.. I just want to disappear from this world. Don't you get it?"

"I want to save you. I want to live with you, even if it's only for a bit before we depart together. There's still so much I don't know about you. Y/n, I-"

"Stop it!!" Y/n screamed, kicking Dazai away. "Don't you dare say it! What can you do? You may save me for a bit, you may make me feel happy for a short while, but then what!? One day it won't work anymore! And I'll want to die again!"

She was shouting.

"That's why this is all too much! Just let me have a clean death alone! You're so selfish for even coming here and spouting that bull shit!"

Without even realizing it, Y/n was shouting.

"I'm tired..! I'm so tired of thinking there's hope! Tired of waiting, finding something close, then watching it disappear! I'll never find what I'm looking for! I'll... I'll never truly be saved! Don't you see Dazai!?"

Dazai's eyes stayed still as he watched the girl scream.

"I'm so tired.. So tired.! Don't let me despair anymore.. Just let me rot."

The silence in the room was sickening. No one dared move.

Until Dazai broke the silence by cackling. Y/n sniffled confused as she stared at him. "I just keep seeing new sides of you Y/n.. You really are sickeningly complicated." He smirked at her as he inched closer.

Dazai's lips suddenly slammed into Y/n's. The girl's eyes opened wide as she stared at him. After a few seconds, dazai pulled away, a small string of saliva trailing behind. He licked his lips lightly before speaking:

"You called me selfish for saving you.." Dazai spoke before leaning close to Y/n's ear. "But I'm an incredibly greedy man my dear.."

Y/n's face flushed more as Dazai grabbed her wrist, wrapping her wound up tightly. "Even if it takes me saving you a thousand times, I'll do it all over again. So we can have the perfect suicide together."

Y/n breathes in shakily as Dazai kisses her hand gently.

"So, let's try this again. Y/n, my dear. I'm in love with you. Will you join me, in living and dying in this life?"

Dazai's words brought more tears into Y/n's eyes as she nodded lightly.

"Yes."

-Fin-

#bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd fanfic #bungo stray dogs x reader #dazai x reader #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #dazai osamu x reader #glitchs✧works

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yellowroseswrites · 11 months

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Hi, I was wondering if you could write a fic about Spencer Reid x sh/ed reader. The reader is very insecure because she feels like she used to be smart but isn't anymore and maybe after failing a case she starts harming herself again.

I was also wondering if you could include

that she wears a watch all the time

that she tends to cut small cuts on her fingers because she can blame them on other things and often digs her nails into them when anxious

has a good relationship with family so she feels her actions are unjustified

Spencer and reader are friends but shes always thought of him as more

I totally understand if this isn't possible and thank you.

"I want to help you carry it."

Spencer Reid x Sh!BAU!Reader

Author's notes- [ “has a good relationship with her family so she feels her actions are unjustified’ called me out personally and i need emotional compensation /j. Sorry these pieces have taken so long, a lot of my requests have been sh related and i wasn’t in the right headspace until recently, i hope you understand and i hope you enjoy this piece <3 also this is taken quite far from the prompt, so i’m sorry about that. I’ll definitely try to write more with reid and sh reader, so i’ll try to follow the request a bit more closely next time]

TW- {Self harm mentions, not super graphic, but it is a bit detailed, mentions of kidnapping and su!c!de (briefly), Eating habits mentioned, but not detailed at all, disassociation scenes, 2 of them i think, use of y/n}

1.2k words, enjoy

You looked down at your watch, watching the second hand tick all the way around the circle, desperately trying not to look up. If you looked up, all you would see is the dissapointed face of your best friend, Spencer.

You were sat on a stool near his kitchen counter. Usually if you were sitting here, there would be laughter and smiles, maybe pizza or some freshly baked cupcakes, but this was different. You only ever saw Reid like this once, when he sat you down to talk to you about your eating habits. You swore you would never do anything that would make him that upset again. You never wanted him to worry about you. He had enough on his plate, you would only be a burden. And yet, here you are.

You thought you were hiding it well, to be honest you really were. You never let anything slip, not a wince, not a complain, nothing. No one knew a thing, until today.

You were finishing a case, a rough one if you’re being honest. There was a young girl, one with scars everywhere, self inflicted. Everyone thought she had killed herself, except you and Reid. You both fought hard to find the girl. The team did end up finding her, she was trapped in some freaks attic. The case was closed, she was found, it was fine. You told yourself it was fine, you did your best to convince yourself that it didn’t bother you. It wasn’t until you were filling out your case reports that you finally let yourself dwell on it. You could hear Derek’s voice so clearly in your head, “Is it possible that she took her own life? It’s clear she has suicidal tendencies.” Even after JJ and Hotch explained the complexities of non-suicidal self injury, his words still rang in your head. You dont even know why it bothered you. I wasn’t judgmental, it wasn’t disrespectful, it wasn’t even a bad theory, but it rattled you. It’s like you could perfectly imagine them talking about you like that, like you were nothing but your habits. You knew that wasn’t how Morgan meant it, he was doing his job, you would do the same for any other case, but this one just stung.

As you thought about it, you faded into your mind. It’s like you weren’t even there at your desk, you were inside your head. Your nails found there way to your other hands knuckles. You were good at hiding the marks, and it was easy to lie about them. They were your hands, anyone would believe that you just knicked them, or got them stuck in your car door, or that your neighbors cat was a playful fella, or the countless other excuses you had saved in your resevoir. You never hurt youself in public, or when people could catch you, except today apperently. Your finger was red and bleeding by the time you snapped out of your haze. Or rather, was rudely dragged out of our haze by Spencer. You blinked a few times as you focused on him and what he was saying.

“Y/n stop that.” His hands were on yours. You were frozen for a second, your mind almost buffering, before the reality of that moment actually dawned on you. Without speaking a word you pulled your hands back and stoop up from your desk.

You grabbed your bag, sliding your unfinished report into your desk drawer, before beginning to walk off, “Good work Spence, I’ll see you tommorow.” You made your way to the elevator, ttrying to avoid the obvious footsteps following you. He put his hand on your shoulder as you made your way out of the building, gently guiding you to his car. You didn’t fight it, you knew you couldn’t, and you would really rather not make a scene in your work parking lot. You listened to the hum of his car air conditioner as he drove the all familiar route to his appartment.

That’s how you ended up here. A few warm tears falling down your cheeks while Spencer silently stares at your shrunken figure. He was trying to find the words that he wanted to say, which was never a good thing. He was the Spencer Reid, he always knew what to say.

He finally cleared his throat, after what felt like ages, “Non-suicidal self injury is a habitual addiction, but it’s possible to recover from it. You just have to tell someone about it, that’s step one. That’s always been step one. We’ve talked about this.”

“I know Spence. I’m sorry.” Your voice was small. You felt small compared to your all knowing best friend. You knew everything there was to know about self harm, sometimes it was the only thing you wanted to read about or learn about, sometimes you felt like it was the only thing you knew about, but you knew this was how Reid helped, so you tried to stay calm as you let him tell you everything that you already had memorized.

“We’re friends y/n, you can talk to me.”

You huffed at that, mumbling a small, “Yea friends.”

“You’re deflecting.” He sounded softer, you hurt him. You were deflecting, and now you feel worse than you did before. You hated this, you wanted to go home and relive this day. Your nails started to sink into the skin on your thigh.

“Why do you keep doing that?” Great, Spencer saw. Spencer knows. Spencers going to think your insane, he’s going to talk about you like your a victim. He’s going to talk to you like a baby and look at you like your bleeding out in front of him. He’s never going to think about you the way you think of him, your just some charity case for him. He doesn’t -

His hand grabs yours, taking it away from your leg. Before your brain can catch up with you, your arms are wrapped around him, pressing your face into his torso. Your tears are falling more freely now. You feel his hands run through your hair and rub against your back. You never feel more safe than you do when your in his arms, your thoughts can’t catch you here.

You aren’t sure how long you stay like that before you gently pull away from him. You sit patiently as he examines your hands. You can see the hurt in his eyes, you do your best to ignore it.

“I love you, y/n. I don’t want you to do this to youself. You can get help for this. You can talk to me about it if you need to.” He was soft, but not condescending. You could feel yourself melt, as though you needed another reason to love him.

“I can’t do that, I’ll just be a burden. This isn’t your baggage to carry.” You started to pull away again.

“It’s still your baggage, I just want to help you carry it. Let me help you, please.” His voice pulled you right back in.

You wiped the remaining tears from your face, “Okay Spence.” He sighed in relief, taking your hands and leading you to the couch. You both sat, you resting your head against his chest. You didn’t have to talk about it now. You knew you would eventually, but that's another thing about Spencer, you felt comfortable. You didn’t feel anxious about the impending conversations to be had, you weren’t stressing about him watching you or knowing your secrets, you simply felt safe. That was enough for now.

#yellowroseswrites #comfort fics #x reader #x reader fic #self h@rm #self harm fic #sh!reader #self h@rm reader #spencer reid fic #spencer reid x reider #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #tw #spencer reid comfort

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purplephloxpress · 1 year

Text

总有一天 a place to hide (can't find one near) - yiqie

That’s just the thing, isn’t it? Wei Ying feels nothing. He doesn’t feel anything, and this emptiness should scare him. He knows he should be scared. He wants to be scared. He isn’t. Fear itself is never scary; fear is just a response. It means that your body wants you alive. It’s the absence of terror that scares him.

I had SO MUCH FUN with this bind! This one had a lot of firsts for me, and is one that I really poured my heart into due to its particular emotional impact on me (tl;dr - I was a piano major in college, burned out, this fic helped me fall in love with music again). It's an Untamed WangXian Pianists AU (TW for anyone interested that it deals with attempted suicide and life following that) and I tried to tie that into the design details literally everywhere I could think of. Black and white cover paper, music note scene breaks, and my absolute favorite part to create: sheet music title pages. The particular song used for that is a recurring motif in the fic and one that means a lot to me personally, and I knew I wanted to include it somehow. Unfortunately I couldn't find an existing image of the sheet music that was high enough quality to use how I wanted, so I used a sheet music program to input it myself!

This book was my first time doing any sort of edge decoration, and I had fun figuring out how to splatter paint with a toothbrush (Spouse: is that supposed to be blood? Me: no but also... kind of?) and it was also my first time doing endbands! (Shout out to the friends who walked me through it over voice chat one evening, and then rolled their eyes when I announced that I'd torn them out and done them over again. Twice.) I went with red and black for both of those parts to match the main characters canonical color scheme, and also because I liked the dramatic pop of color against the black and white cover.

Spine titling was done once again with a foil quill, and I decided to paint the Chinese title of the fic on the cover. I couldn't find a paintbrush that let me get as fine tipped and detailed as I wanted so I may or may not have used a toothpick to paint it on.

I prevailed over: somehow deleted half of my page numbers and had to reprint the WHOLE THING! Forgot to measure the boards as part of my spine width and had to do surgery with 2mm strips of paper! (Thankfully had allowed plenty of hinge because I didn't realize until I'd finished ALL of the titling and I would have cried if I couldn't salvage it) Truly this is my child and I adore how it turned out. Is it perfect? No. Are there things I would change? Sure. But I learned and I did and I'm so goddamn proud of it!

(See below the cut if you want specific details on the binding)

What pieces went into making it:

Fandom: The Untamed

Pairing: Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji

Bookcloth: black Brillianta

Cover paper: black and silver marbled lokta

Endpapers: red cardstock

Titling: foil quill, acrylic paint, acrylic paint pen

Endbands: leather cording for the core, DMC embroidery thread for the bands

Body font: Adobe Garamond Pro

Title fonts: Long Cang and Canva Holiday

Text message font: Nirmala UI

Scene breaks created in Canva

Title page sheet music created using MuseScore

#purplephloxpress #ficbinding #wangxian #the untamed #pianists au #yiqie #fanbinding #renegade bindery #adventures in bookbinding

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writethrough · 1 year

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Hi ;) I don't know if you're currently accepting requests, but if you do, may I request a Malcolm Bright x Reader fic please ? TW : Self-h*rm, anxiety, depression, ED, mental illness.

Reader and Malcolm are very close friends so they both lovingly care about each other. Reader hasn't been answering any of his calls and messages for a few days, which is unlike her 'cause she always picks up the phone when he calls her. He starts to grow more and more worried, especially because he knows about her mental health struggles. So naturally he decides to go check on her. When he arrives he finds her in a very bad state : depression, anxiety, ED and Self h*rm have been hitting her harder that usual. He stays in at her house for a few days to take care of her, which includes reassuring her when she gets panic attacks, telling her that he strongly cares about her and that nothing will make him leave her, laying beside her to help her sleep, hugging her etc. Eventually she starts to feel a bit better.

I know it's very emotionally charged, both with dark stuff and comfort/care stuff, so if you feel like you can't do it, it's totally okay, I understand. Do whatever makes you feel the most comfortable.

Please take care 🤍 Sending you hugs.

To Make It Through

(Malcolm Bright x Gender-Neutral Reader)

Warnings: Insinuations of self-harm, ED, depression, anxiety, and mental illness.

Word Count: 1203

A/N: I wasn’t sure how to begin writing this. The most important goal for me was writing this with respect to those who suffer from self-harm, depression, mental illness, ED, and anxiety. I have never experienced the first four, but I’ve dealt with mild to moderate anxiety, I believe since I was young (I’d like to add, I’ve never been diagnosed by a doctor for anxiety). I have no idea what someone who lives with these struggles goes through. I wanted this to be a comforting story, one that hopefully brings a little light to everyone who reads it.

I didn't want to include too many details that could be triggering or potentially disrespectful to those who deal with the topics above.

And to anyone who is suffering and in need of help, below are different hotlines and resources.

National Eating Disorders Association

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

The Trevor Project

National Institute of Mental Health

Malcolm unlocked your front door with the extra key you gave him.

It’d been three days since he last heard from you—no responses to his texts. No calls or video chats, not even a dumbass meme. And he was worried.

You were religious in your response time to him. Honestly, he had no idea how you could send a text off so quickly.

First, he noticed the dishes on your counter. A few days' worth. Then, the blanket was on the floor instead of folded neatly over the couch. Your curtains were drawn tight, and the couple of plants you had were a little less lively than when he was here last week.

He slowly pushed your bedroom door open so as not to startle you.

It was difficult to see through the darkness, but from what he could tell, clothes were thrown around the room. And he could make out a thin layer of dust on your bookshelf.

He took in your curled state under your comforter. Only the top of your head peeked out.

He didn’t need to ask you what was wrong. You’d known each other long enough for him to recognize the signs.

After slipping his shoes and coat off, he gently lowered himself beside you. He didn’t move the covers or speak, only placed a hand close enough to your back so you could feel him while not being touched.

He didn’t know if you were awake, but that didn’t matter. He’d wait however long it took until you were ready to acknowledge him.

He wondered when you last ate—those dishes were probably older than he thought. He tried to recall if there were any warning signs he should’ve picked up on when he was here last time. But you seemed fine.

You were also very good at hiding it.

About an hour later, you shifted to face him, still beneath the blankets.

It wasn’t much, but it was enough.

He whispered your name. You didn’t move.

He tried again. “Can I do anything for you?”

You sniffled, and his heart nearly broke.

“Can I move the blanket, honey?” he asked.

The top of your head moved slowly in a nod.

He hooked a finger and pulled down carefully, revealing water-lined eyes with bags under them.

He thought as much. When things worsened, you never slept well.

“What do you need?” he whispered as gently as he could.

You didn’t look at him as your hand emerged to clutch your pillowcase.

“I don’t know,” you mumbled.

He nodded. He couldn’t let you stay like this.

“Then, could you do something for me? I know you won’t want to, but you can come right back. I promise.”

You glanced at him, then looked away. As much of an acknowledgment as he would get.

“Go take a shower. Take as long as you need,” he said.

You didn’t fight him, didn’t argue, and he took that as more of a bad sign than anything.

Once your bathroom door closed, he stripped the bed and threw everything in the washer. After replacing the sheets, he put the discarded clothes in your hamper and tossed any trash he spotted. He kept the blinds closed. Baby steps.

He was finishing putting the dishes away when you walked out in a towel and back into your room to change.

You didn’t ask what he was doing or tell him he didn’t have to do it. You almost ignored him.

You had already returned to bed when he entered. This time, you were against the headboard, staring off into space.

He sat beside you.

Your hands rested above the covers, wrists on display, and his shoulders relaxed.

It hadn’t gotten that bad.

He let you have your silence. Sometimes it was what you needed.

“Why are you friends with me?”

Sometimes it wasn’t.

“Because I need you,” he said.

It was all he thought to say. Superficial compliments wouldn’t stop your mind from spiraling. Hopefully, you’d believe him.

You shook your head. “You deserve better.”

He wanted to shield you from your own words.

“(Y/N), I need you to look at me,” he said. And when you didn’t, he repeated himself. “Please?”

You glanced at him, rubbing the hem of your shirt between your fingers.

“Have I ever lied to you?” he asked gently.

You shook your head slowly, hunching your shoulders.

“I will always always tell you the truth,” he said. “You’re my best friend. That’s never going to change, okay?” He carefully pulled your hand between his. “I care about you so much, (Y/N). You’re never going to get rid of me.”

You sniffled, glancing at him through your lashes.

Tears lined his own eyes, threatening to spill forth.

You were his best friend. He’d be lost without you, and he needed you to know that he’d never go anywhere, that he belonged by your side. You made him feel seen. You made him feel sane.

Whatever you needed from him, he would give.

“Can you…Can you hold me?” you whispered, trying to keep your voice from breaking.

He answered by laying on his back, waiting for you to settle on his chest, hands still connected.

“Get some rest,” he whispered. “I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

—

Malcolm stayed with you for the next few days. He even called Gil and said he had to take a personal day, much to Gil’s surprise and pleasure. Thankfully, Gil didn’t ask any questions. Malcolm never would’ve broken your trust like that.

Today was the first day you had gotten dressed. Malcolm considered that a massive sign you were starting to feel more like yourself.

“How’re you feeling?” He took in every feature of your face, searching for the most minute twitch.

“I’m…I’m better.” You nodded slowly. “I’m not okay. I know that, but I’m better than I was. Not everything’s as…dark.”

The corner of his mouth tilted up in a sympathetic smile. His fingers found yours, holding them lightly.

“All healing takes time. And I’ll be right here whenever you need me.” His eyes stayed locked with yours, nothing but sincerity in them.

You swallowed. “Thank you.”

He shook his head slightly. “You never need to thank me for doing something I want to do.”

It brought tears to your eyes—how kind he was. Malcolm was the only person you could trust with everything. He knew what it was like to be trapped in your own mind, to hate so many parts of yourself that you want to rip out.

And each time you were on the verge of relapsing, he’d pull you away from the edge. As you’d done for him.

“Why don’t we take a walk? See how many squirrels we can feed,” he said, offering you his arm.

Your face lifted, not a smile, but not so melancholy as it had been.

“Okay.”

Grasping the crook of his elbow, you interlocked your fingers there and let him lead you outside.

The sun's warmth sunk into your skin as Malcolm launched into what his mother was trying to rope him into. And when the first chuckle in a week passed your lips, the darkness didn’t feel so encompassing anymore.

Taglist: @phenomenal-bird

If anyone would like to be added to my taglist, please comment or message me and tell me which character you'd like to receive updates on.

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wrongcaitlyn · 11 days

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okay so ‼️TW‼️ for this ask and off you do not have to answer or read it if you don’t want to please stay safe!

so. i think once in tyt there was a short reference to nico being suicidal and having self harming/self destructive behaviors. i believe maybe it was after he had to jump off the balcony? and will was like “nico did you do that on purpose” and he’s like “no” and it’s “he kept thinking of the time will caught him” or something like that i’m sorry i can’t look at it rn!

BUT

I was wondering if we’re ever going to get an expansion on that or just any mention of it in general.

me personally i would love too see some scar representation but ofc it is your fic and please don’t feel pressured into anything! i totally get if you don’t want to include anything about this.

and i’m very sorry if this made you uncomfortable or that this was triggering for you.

have a good day! and plz don’t feel rushed to respond! ❤️

yes! you are remembering correctly, and do not worry, this isn't uncomfortable/triggering at all to me! in fact, that's actually one of the reasons it wasn't expanded on - i have no experience with self harm/ thoughts of self harm/ being suicidal, and so even though i made those vague references, i felt very unsure about diving any deeper.

also, i started writing this fic when i was still pretty new to writing in general (or at least, i used to write a lot, and then i took a pretty long break, and then i came back with some one-shots, and this was my first really long project in quite a long time), and so i was just really,,, idk not insecure but i was overly cautious about making sure that i wasn't writing anything wrong, especially because i was writing about things that i had no experience with. like, my family's pretty alright, nowhere near abusive, no alcoholics, and despite the depression my mental health's pretty alright, at least at the time i was writing this - and, obvi, the main thing was that i'm not trans, and yet i was writing a trans mc coming from a very abusive household.

so with all of that, i dropped in these references to his freshman year, and very purposefully didn't start in freshman year because i knew that i wouldn't be able to write that accurately (or, at least, i didn't want to risk writing it inaccurately and portraying these very serious topics in a way that might trigger/offend people who do struggle from these things) and started off the fic in a time where nico was mostly in a much better mental state than the year before, but still struggling with those problems - just not as severely(?) as before.

i'm honestly considering/have been considering going back and editing talk your talk (the og fic) just because i think i've grown a lot as a writer while writing that, and there are a lot of, firstly, tiny grammatical errors, and some scenes that i would like to restructure/fix. i might be able to start that this summer, we'll see!

but ANYWAY to answer your question!! i honestly hadn't thought of going more into that, even though i am adding some more detail to nico's current mental health issues/his ptsd. i'm not completely sure about going into *detail* of it, because of the aforementioned reasons; i just think that these kinds of topics are very sensitive and it's not like the kind of stuff you can just, like, google and understand. if i were to add more about sh/past suicidal thoughts, i would definitely want to do more research/look up accounts of people's experience of it, because i'd want to make sure that i'm writing it correctly and not in a way that would just brush aside any of the details, yk?

i also think that, in a way, nico has completely blocked out that time of his life. it was very dark, and he's experienced even more trauma after that, and so it's just something that he tries really hard to avoid/not think about - even though i do think that he talked to mr. d about it at some point.

so the answer, to be honest, is that i don't know, but it's leaning toward a no. now that i think about it, though, i'm not entirely sure if it's realistic for me to just drop that toward the beginning and then never have nico think about it again- so i would have to do more thinking on the topic! thank you so much for bringing this up to me because even though i do remember mentioning it, i never really think about those early chapters anymore, which dealt with some pretty heavy material, even though i tried to stay very vague about it all.

i think that i'll try to include it at some point, and i do have a scene kind of forming in my head that i think i could put it into, but i don't think it will be very detailed, probably staying in the same lane as everything else that i included in the early chapters of talk your talk! thank you for the ask!!

#wrongcaitlyn #talk ur talk asks #tw self harm #tw suicidality

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psychologeek · 9 months

Text

Psy's masterpost

Like my writing? Came here for a prompt and wants more? (update: 06.05.24/

I HAVE AO3! PsycholoGeek feel free to look. (I love comments. Just saying 😜)

Writing Tags:

"my additions" (adding to others)

"my writing" (og/long adds)

"my poems" (poems)

Not all my writing is there, of course.

Fic Recs (personal favourites)

Who am I (to disappear) - DC, Cass-centric, 22k words. Who am I (to disappear) - David Cain tried to create a weapon. Weapon forge themself into something new. (Many names, they\them Cass). Ft. Kid!Jason, Mayan mythology, and the many forms of communication.

Witwat and the Jin - Batman, 2,245 words. Damian had a brother, once. (H/C. Happy ending.)

Grave Promises - Batman, 2,111 words. Healing and recovery and disability isn't a tragedy.

Sing Me To Sleep - DP*DC 19k words. Tws in tags. Tim and healing (it gets worse before it gets better. But it gets better.)

A list of my fics (complete and WIPs) undercut:

Completed one-shot:

Grave Promises (Batman, 2,111 words) - very important to me. Life, recovery, and disability is not a tragedy. Barbara kill the Joker, but it isn't the focus.(Barbara Gordon focused.)

Who am I (to disappear) - David Cain tried to create a weapon. Weapon forge themself into something new. (Many names, they\them Cass). Ft. Kid!Jason Todd, Mayan mythology, and sign language. (Stand alone, technically prequel to "Sweet Dreams", but no need to read.)

Do You Understand? ( Encanto, 330 words).c

Witwat and the Jin (Batman, 2,245 words) - Dami-being-Dami and slowly understandings.

Just short of a fairy tale (I told myself that I wouldn't be scared) (Batman, 770 words) - urban fantasy. Jason Todd centric.

Sing Me To Sleep - DP*DC (19k words). After fired from Robin, Tim had enough. He's done with life. Clockwork said "not today, bitch" and got some good old ectoshot. Ft. Jazz Fenton as an older sister TM and the 3Ds as their usual chaotic selves. (I wrote the second half, chapters 2-6. A bit heavy, but I hope I did well with the subject.)

Hold Them Close -DP*DC (12k words). I wrote the first chapter+Fanart. Danny escaped Vlad and his experiments with bb!Ellie, and flew straight up-up-and above. In the watchtower, our heroes sees a monster and (what they think is) a child in distress. Misunderstandings and whump, with the last quarter of the fic as comfort and fluff :)

Main serieses:

Sweet Dreams - (DC, 3 works, 1 complete. ~17k words). Reverse Robins + Badman verse (inspired by @byrambles fic). Batboy's younger brothers were taken by the Batman who defeated his father. Trying to protect them, he promise his loyalty to the newcomer. But even though he assure him he is perfectly trained, and can properly punish the kids to surrender, the man isn't impressed. In which there's Misunderstandings and sadness (first fic). The series deals with trauma and the ongoing issues it causes, and shows how it changes you. TW: Include suicidality+mention of kid's suicidality, flashbacks, mentioned past child sexual abuse, dissociations, Whump and angst with eventual comfort. I don't go in details about their past, but it's important to notice that the first 2 fics contains HEAVY (but non graphic) themes.

Liminal Skills for the Living Dead - also known as "therapy verse". DP x DC xover. AKA Anger Management! Fake dating for fun and profit. Enter family, friends, and Wikipedia explanations of some necessary skills as titles. Jazz is her autistic with anxiety self. Jason is a crime lord with anger management issues.

Or: in which THERE'S THERAPY!! (6 works - 4 are complete. ~30k words)

Lost and Found (if this wings could fly) - also known as "FF AU". DP x DC xover. Jazz and Jason as childhood mutuals. (4 complete works, ~10k in total. more to come)

(also some other things. Feel free to look, ask and comment!)

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likesomekindofcheese · 2 years

Note

Can I request Brian May(70s AU Modern) x American fem!reader where the reader slips into a deep depression after a phone call with her mother which can not be the first time. Also the reader could come from a family of domestic emotional abuse.

When she begins to shut everyone out even Brian it sends up the red flags to point where the reader stops doing things she enjoys(like bead work or video games or things her mother perceives as childish/not mature) and won't let Brian touch her. This forces him to confront her since at first he could have given her space, but that didn't help.

Serious angst, depression, mention of past attempted suicide and domestic emotional abuse that ends with fluff.

Wow sorry if that got dark and too personal I'm kinda in a dark place right now 😔😢😦☹😟

Thank you for taking the time to read this and hope you are doing well! 💖

Hun, I have wrote a fic and will soon plan to write another fic about coping with my own familial abuse. Trust me- you are in a safe space to do so!! This is a comforting, fantasy blog!!!

Anyways, I hope you like it!

Tw: mentions of depression and abuse and mentions of a suicide attempt.

“Well I guess you don’t really love me!” your mother said through the speaker.

Your hands shook on the phone. You were unable to hear the words. All of the Instagram posts on all the flowery, pastel mental health accounts would detail with bullet points what symptoms of emotional abuse included

And your mother was clicking off every one of them.

Words passed through. The dream like unreality turning into a nightmare. So many people could run to their mothers for a warm embrace and for comfort, but instead of an embrace yours was a choke to desperately escape from.

When the phone put down, you looked over at the beads. They were colorful and bright- blues with soft pinks and in piles. Strings waiting for them. You realized that nearby there were some scraps of paper Brian left behind when he was showing you lyrics for his new song. This was a place of creativity in all it’s escape...but you found no heart to do so.

The beads were left untouched. When Brian walked over, shaking snowflakes from his fluffy hair and bringing you some leftover cake baked by a roadie for a party, he saw that your project was in mid-air.

It was untouched the next day.

Brian would wander around to stare at the stars. He always was a night owl by heart. He would watch tv and eat snacks and maybe text Rog or Freddie. But when he returned to your shared room, you were still wide awake, scrolling mindlessly through your phone. Anything, anything to distract you. Numb you. Numb you from the pain. Or even to obsess over it- looking up everything on how to deal with mothers like yours. But in vain.

So as you shifted between sides, it kept Brian awake from feeling your body moving like a tunneling mole- and still awake.

So he moved one long hand to touch your shoulder...

“Y/N, sweetheart...what...”

You slapped it away.

“I’m not in the mood, Brian! If you pull anything beyond PG you’re sleeping on the couch tonight!” you warned, shooting right up.

He took the cue that you needed space.

So he gave it to you. You were both like boats passing in the night. He would go and read books or strum his guitars when he was home. He ate his meals at separate times. Anything, anything to make you feel better.

It didn’t help much. Now you were an island to yourself. And Brian knew it.

Finally, he confronted you about it.

“Y/N, what is going on? What happened? This all started Saturday and it’s Friday...did something happen...”

“I...it’s silly...I...”

“Y/N, please!” he begged.

“It’s all starting with the beads- you would work on them for hours...and you haven’t touched them in almost a week, what is it?”

“My...my mother says they are childish...”

“Childish? You sell them for God’s sake!”

“She said plenty of other things too..”

“What did she say...” Brian asked cautiously.

He went over to put the kettle on. You let out a little huff of a laugh. That was always the English in him. You could take the boy out of London, you know.

He began taking your hands in his and his eyes teary- so large and soft that you felt yourself captivated. Safe. You could tell him anything.

So you told him everything. Every last word your mother said on the phone. The years. Her manipulation. Her cruelty. The harsh names. The gaslighting.

The kettle whistled and two cups were poured out. The warmth and comfort of the cup and the feeling of hot liquid in your empty stomach made you bold.

How once you tried to escape it all...and it was unsuccessful. But you were still here and with him because of the failure of that action.

Brian cried quietly as he listened. You leaned into his chest and sobbed and he held you. Though he was always very skinny, he was warm, sweet smelling, and his shirt was soft.

“Y/N...I’ll keep you safe. We will stand up to your mother. I’ll make sure she won’t get to you. Its won’t be easy but....but you’ll have me. Always.”

“But she’s my family!”

“And families protect and care for each other...I think the band itself protects and cares for you far more than she does! Y/N...you’ll be safe with me and the boys-hell, even my own family! We have your back, and we’re here for you, my dear...”

You gave him a kiss on the cheek and another embrace as the sun rose through the kitchen window. And with it, darkness went away to a slowly strengthening light.

#carrie write #carrie writes #Brian May #Brian May x Reader #Brian May x y/n #Brian May x You #hurt/comfort #tw: mentions of abuse #cw: mentions of abuse #tw: depression #cw: depression #tw: mentions of atttempted suicide #cw: mentions of attempted suicide

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ofdreamsanddoodles · 3 years

Text

hey, i know i don’t interact much with mechs tumblr, but for those that do: please don’t interact with tumblr user alderations. they dated a friend of mine despite a predatory age gap, knowingly involved them discussions that would trigger them and defended writing rape and underage smut of characters. details under the cut

first off, i’m writing this because it’s an incredibly triggering topic for my friend, but because alderations is such a popular blogger in the fandom, they wanted someone to warn any potential future victim. as such, i’m keeping their name out of this post. if you want more information, i can ask, but do NOT ask me who this is about. if you think you know who this is about, please don’t contact them about this, even if it’s just to check in/let them know you’re blocking alderations. we appreciate the sentiment, but this isn’t a topic they want to think about any more than they have to.

also, i have alderations blocked. we haven’t interacted, and i have no interest in speaking to someone who’s hurt my friend, especially anything they have to say in response to this post.

a slightly more detailed tw, before I begin pulling out the receipts i’ve been given: one of triggering topics is a discussion of whether or not something is considered an incestous relationship. that will be the last screenshot i send.

proof of the age gap:

This is a screenshot of a private message between my friend and alderations. as you can see, their discord handle is the same as their tumblr url. They knew each other for a total of three weeks when this conversation took place. Despite him acknowledging the unhealthiness of any romantic interaction between the two, adlerations continued to flirt with an 18 y/o they barely knew.

defense of another mechanism writer’s rape fics:

my friend brings up an important issue. Alderations immediately shoots it down, claiming that the writer in question is totally a good person, and leverages his friendship with the writer to make my friend back down. the proper reaction to hearing someone say “hey, this person is doing someone harmful” is not to talk about how guilty this makes you feel. my friend attempts to voice their own discomfort at the friends this writer keeps, and alderations immediate reaction is to say how bad that makes them feel, and how everyone the writer knows is too nice to cut contact with. any attempt at discussing this topic becomes impossible because of this guilt-tripping, guiltripping that places my friend as the bad person for having a reasonable reaction to someone writing rape.

alderations insists that they don’t support this kind of material, yet does everything in his power to stop my friend from condemning it. if you’re against rapefics, you should be against rapefics. you do not make an exception because your friend is the one posting it. and you do not get to claim you understand that the people you’ve been hanging out with are questionable, while making jokes about people who have been triggered by their work

EDIT (2/19/2021): someone who read this post recognized the fic writer my friend and alderations was talking about here and wanted me to add their experience of being in a discord chat with both alderations and their friend, who is aunt-zelda and sent me this message:

couldnt help but notice I think I was mentioned in it wrt that part abt an author making a note in their kinktober fic saying “stay tf away if u interact w this user”

Is that user perchance @aunt-zelda, bc if you need anyone to vouch further to the predatory bullshit of alderations being friends w her, I’m more than happy to add my voice

I was in the mechs nsfw discord for a while before I got kicked for “suicide baiting” predators (translation: telling rape/incest/etc writers to get hit by a bus) meanwhile a vast majority of fic writers in there were just tossing around all manner of disturbing assault plots for their fics, including aunt-Zelda, so u can imagine the priorities

essentially: there is no way alderations was not aware what this writer was doing. nothing my friend told him should have come as a surprise

also, this (tw incest):

it’s worth noting that, as my friend says, they have sibling trauma. topics about siblings in relationships is incredibly triggering for them, and alderations not only asked without warning, but phrased it as though it would be a fun question about polamory. i don’t know what to say to this. clearly, he was aware that it was a potentially triggering topic, because his reaction to the thought of someone he was dating (aka, my friend) also dating a sibling was to immediately cut off all contact. so like... what was the point of bringing this up, other than to purposely trying to upset your partner? do you care about winning this argument that much?

that’s really all i have to say. if anyone has any anything they’d like to add, feel free to pass them along, but my main purpose of this post isn’t a callout, or to shame alderations for their actions. it’s just my friend noticing a pattern of their behavior that’s been harmful. i won’t say that alderations is incapable of changing their behavior. i don’t want their growth to be at the expense of anyone else’s safety. If you’re a minor, please just block them.

EDIT: my friend made their own addition to this post, but because this post is still going around, and because they’re uncomfortable seeing a reminder of this in their notifications, i’m posting their thoughts below.

in regards to the screenshot above, regarding polyamory:

ive seen people in re: the original post calling it a perfectly acceptable question which it absolutely is not. if you think it is perfectly acceptable to ask an incest survivor questions about incest with no warnings and no opportunity to say “please ask someone else because this is a topic triggering to me” rethink that.

aside from a handful of jokes about religious trauma causing religion kinks, i had never said anything about sexualizing my own trauma, especially not this trigger that came about through the abuse i experienced from my brother. they knew it was incredibly triggering to me — to the point that even photographs of ink on skin can trigger flashbacks — and asked me this despite that.

i’d also like to note that not only did alderations ask this despite knowing my friends trauma, but upon being reminded about said trauma, they kept making jokes. a few people have approached me asking to know if the situation was “that bad” but that’s a conversation you need to be having with yourself. i’ve talked to friends about this situation, and all of them agreed that i had given all the information needed to form a decision. i don’t think i was wrong to assume that anyone demanding to see the entire backlog of these conversations, conversations so triggering my friend could barely even pull out these few screenshots, was approaching me in bad faith. if at any point it seemed as though i was not cooperating, it’s because having people approaching me to defend someone who i know solely as my friends abuser can be incredibly triggering. for those of you who did genuinely want more context, though, i hope this addition helps.

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abbysfrenchbraid · 3 years

Text

Little Harbor - Beach Day Part 2

Thank you all for the lovely feedback on my writing so far, it means so much to me. I’ve decided that the Beach Day Imagine needed a Part 2 and spent last night manically writing 6.6k words of fluff, angst and semi smut.

In this part, Abby and the reader finally make their trip to Little Harbor and spend the night at the cabin there. The reader finds out they don’t know everything about Abby and there are some things in her past that still weigh heavily on her mind.

TW for death/loss (Seattle plot for the Salt Lake Squad), light nudity, language and mention of suicide and mention of blood

This ist the playlist I curated for this fic. Make sure you disable shuffle and listen to the songs in order for them to fit! (It’s called Little Harbor on Spotify and has a picture of Abby in the thumbnail)

Little Harbor

The last few days had been a blur of happiness and secrecy. Stolen kisses in empty hallways, sitting next to each other in the cafeteria with your knees touching, sunsets in the watchtower staircase, and sweaty hugs whenever you picked up Abby after her morning training. It was clear to you by now that there was no going back and no stopping this. You were absolutely, hopelessly falling for the tall blonde soldier and she actually seemed to feel the same, which was still unbelievable to you.

Abby had taken up work with some of the combat and strategy trainers, educating them on the different groups she had encountered on her journey and on their territory, tactics, and relationships with each other. Lev had come in to explain more about the Seraphites, their whistle language, and their infrastructure. Even though it was unlikely that the Seraphites or WLF would come knocking at the Fireflies’ door, they still wanted to know as much as possible about the current state of the world.

The Rattlers were a different story altogether. Lev refused to speak about them and even though Abby had told the Firefly leaders about them as soon as she was conscious after her emergency surgeries, there was still much to talk about. She tried as hard as she could to remember every little detail and she got incredibly frustrated with herself when she found gaps in her memory even though that wasn’t her fault. The torture and mistreatment at the hands of these bastards had been so immensely traumatizing that her mind refused to let her remember the worst parts.

While the past few days with her had been all fun and exciting, the evenings had been more difficult and it had taken a lot of strength from both of you to get through this together. Abby was just learning to confide in you and talk about her feelings while you struggled with being there for her the right way, having never experienced anything close to the terror she must have felt. After the first day in the strategy room, Abby had knocked on your door just as you were about to go to bed and practically fallen apart in your arms. The Fireflies had decided to send a few teams back to Santa Barbara to see if there were any survivors and capture or help the people they found, depending on their previous alliance. They had offered Abby to go back with them, which she declined, and made it clear that she had to try to identify every single person they brought back.

You just hoped that the only people left there were the other prisoners who had freed themselves. It would be horrifying to know that some of the torturers could soon be sitting somewhere in this very building, practically at arm’s reach from Abby and Lev.

Although the others had advised her not to, Abby had told Lev about all the plans and tasks to come and he had agreed to help identifying people but remained silent about his thoughts on all this.

Trying your best to make Abby’s first week as an official Firefly less hard on her, you had organized a mission for you both to go to Little Harbor. You were supposed to check up on the little cabin there, throw out anything that wasn’t necessary and stock it with a few supplies in case someone in the area needed them in the future. The best thing about Little Harbor was the beautiful beach that stretched in a perfect arc and had the most beautiful sunsets you had ever seen.

You had just talked to your friend in admin and gotten the confirmation for the mission. For a second, you debated telling Abby at lunch in an hour but you simply couldn’t wait. Rolling up the note with the assignment on it and shoving it in your back pocket, you rushed toward the east wing of the base, practically jumping with every step.

As you came closer to the strategy room, you heard muffled voices. There seemed to be a heated discussion. You really didn’t want to eavesdrop, but you were already at the door and didn’t feel like you should knock and interrupt them in the middle of their conversation.

“Oh come on, Abby, what are you not telling us? You have to know more about her than that!”

“I’m telling you, I don’t know where they lived and I don’t know where she is now! I met them the first time at the WLF outpost in the middle of nowhere around Seattle and the last time I saw her she was in Santa Barbara. She’s probably dead, anyway, she was injured and all alone.”

She? Who were they talking about? Abby had never told you about a woman in Santa Barbara. Maybe another prisoner?

Someone slammed a hand on the table.

“Jesus Christ, I can’t believe we lost her again after all this time. At least we know Joel paid for what he did at Salt Lake.”

This sparked your attention. You knew Abby had grown up at the Salt Lake outpost before the massacre. Was Joel the guy who killed all the Fireflies there, including the doctors?

“What do you want with her anyway?” That was Abby again. She sounded bitter. “It’s not like we have the means to make a vaccine, Joel made sure of that. You’ll see what she did with the rattlers when you get there. Maybe you’ll find her body, too, and I can finally have some fucking peace.”

There was silence for a brief moment. Then a woman said: “Alright, let’s take a break. The teams are driving out to Santa Barbara tomorrow, then we’ll see what we find. Abby, thank you for everything you’ve told us. Take some time for yourself, I’ll call for you when the reports are in and hopefully a few survivors, too. I’ll see the rest of you after lunch.”

You could hear feet shuffling and chairs being pushed around. Quickly, you tiptoed away from the door and halfway through the corridor, then you turned around just as the door opened. Abby came out first, frowning and with her hands balled into firsts. When she saw you, her face lit up and she relaxed, taking a few big steps towards you and awkwardly coming to a halt in front of you, just a little bit too close.

“Perfect timing, huh?” She smiled at you before nodding to a few others that passed you.

You forced yourself to focus and smiled back.

“Yeah, I came to tell you that our mission is approved. We can leave as soon as possible.”

“Oh, that’s great! Martha just said I could have the day off and probably need to report back in tomorrow night earliest. Should we just pack now and get going after lunch?”

“Good idea. Say we meet in the cafeteria in 15?” you suggested.

Abby nodded. “See you there.”

As you packed your backpack, you tried to process what you had just heard. Abby knew the man who had run amok at the Firefly Hospital and apparently he was dead now. There had been another woman in Santa Barbara, and she had something to do with a possible vaccine? You knew the Fireflies had been extremely invested in the search for a vaccine after the outbreak, but they had given up on it a long time ago. Now they just tried to build safe zones without any infected in order to build communities of Fireflies, other survivors, and anyone else who wanted to join you.

Why were the others so keen on finding the other woman? What did Abby have to do with Joel and the massacre at the hospital? And why was this whole thing still affecting her so badly after all those years?

You wanted to try to talk to Abby later and find out what had gone down in Santa Barbara and at Salt Lake, but you also knew she had been waiting for this day to finally come so she could get out of here and distract herself for a while. Who were you to ruin this by forcing her to relive her trauma all over again?

Closing the zipper on your backpack and throwing it over your shoulder, you decided to just take it a step at a time. First, you had to get some food into your stomach.

Abby was excited about the trip and spent almost the whole meal asking you questions about the bay and the cabin. She told you she had spent some time in cabins up in Washington with her old WLF crew, but it had been snowing back then and the summer here was just an entirely different experience.

Lev was a bit sad he couldn’t go with you, but you promised him a beach bonfire in the next two weeks. He was way too happy about his new friends and tasks to sulk about your little duo mission. The boy was a fantastic archer and was now tasked with teaching his craft to younger trainees and older soldiers. He was delighted at being taken so seriously by adults for the first time in his life. His lessons at school were going well apparently, he enjoyed history and biology a lot.

Abby was attentively listening to him talking about crop diversification and the produce grown here during the different seasons as a group of fully-equipped soldiers came into the cafeteria. They seemed excited about their mission and were making a ton of noise, jeering and shoving each other around as they picked up their rations for the next two days from the serving counter. Abby and Lev both went quiet, poking around in their food and seeming to be holding their breaths until the squad had left.

Lev suddenly looked up at Abby with tears in his eyes.

“Do you think any of the Rattlers survived?” His voice was high pitched and he sounded like he was about to choke.

“Oh, Lev.” The blonde put her arm around his shoulder, her hands looking huge on his small frame. “I have no idea, I’m so sorry. I’m pretty sure the other prisoners were freed and got their revenge. She also freed some of the walkers in the area. It must have been bad. We’ll just have to wait and see, but I promise they’ll never lay a hand on you ever again.”

There she was again, the mysterious woman. Now you’d at least have a valid reason to bring it up. The boy sighed, then he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and straightened up. He waved over to a few other kids waiting at the exit.

“I need to go. Math class.” He grimaced and you and Abby both had to laugh. No one enjoyed math, but a certain basic knowledge was necessary for everyone here.

“See you tomorrow, Lev. I’ll bring her back safely,” you promised him and Abby rolled her eyes at you, but he gave you a genuinely thankful nod before tapping her shoulder as a goodbye and running over to his friends.

Abby smiled at you, her eyes lighting up as she remembered your plans for the day.

“You ready to go?” she asked, standing up and grabbing her backpack.

“Let’s get out of here.” You put on your backpack as well, took your plates and placed them in a plastic tub next to the counter.

In the empty corridor leading to the garage, Abby snuck her fingers between yours, sending sparks over your skin and making butterflies dance in your stomach. She pulled you toward her and after a quick glance left and right, she gave you a soft peck on the lips. You reacted instantly, burying your fingers in her hair and pulling her in for a second kiss, this time less innocent. Abby chuckled and grabbed your shoulder to push you away just a few inches and look you in the eyes.

You felt yourself blush and rubbed a hand over your eyes.

“Ugh, sorry, I just missed you all morning. Let’s just go.”

Grabbing her hand and pulling her with you, you entered the garage and quickly said hello to your coworkers before checking out the keys and leading Abby to your truck. Your colleagues didn’t lose a single word about the hand-holding and you were thankful for their discretion. They were your closest friends at the base and they knew you’d tell them more as soon as you were ready.

The drive out to the cabin took about an hour, one which you spent in blissful silence. You had rolled the windows down again and just like the last time, the summer air was whirling through the cabin and playing with your hair. Abby let an arm hang out of her window and took in the view of the different hills and forest patches, the beaches, and the beautiful meadows. She looked serene, completely at peace with herself and the world.

When you arrived at the cabin, it was better than you had remembered. The little wooden cottage was still in good shape, firewood was stacked up at the back and there was a small front porch with a perfect view of the bay in front of you. Two wooden chairs and a table stood on the porch, completely grown over with moss.

You fumbled with the keys for a second, then you were inside. All the curtains were drawn, bathing the dusty room in heavy yellow light before you opened them and looked around. Abby was still standing at the doorstep, uncertain of what to do.

The room was perfectly equipped with a little kitchen unit, a table with four chairs, a worn-out striped couch, and a decently sized bed, luckily covered with a big sheet to stop it from getting unbearably dusty. A narrow door in the corner seemed to lead to a bathroom. You put your hands on your hips and turned to Abby.

“Well, what do you think? Too dusty for your liking?”

The blonde snapped out of her astonishment.

“Are you kidding me? Y/N, it’s great! It looks so cozy, I think I’m gonna sleep better than I have for months.” She took a few steps toward you and wrapped her hands around your waist. “Especially when I’m sleeping next to you.”

“Oh, I thought you were gonna take the couch,” you said dryly. Abby’s eyes widened and you could tell she seriously thought she had overstepped until you wrapped your arms around her neck and snorted, immediately receiving a playful push backward that you put up with by holding on to her for dear life.

“You’re an asshole,” she laughed, “I got scared there for a second!” She planted a kiss on your lips and picked you up by your waist, making you squeal.

“I’m sorry, Abby, ahh! Please let me down!” you begged but you had to admit this was fun. The taller woman gently put you back on your feet, then she said: “Come on, let’s get settled here.”

She opened the windows while you tried the tap unsuccessfully before pulling the cover off the bed and revealing buttercup yellow sheets. Sweet. Abby used a towel to wipe the dust off the table before setting her bag on it and offering to take yours as well. She put all the supplies in the kitchen cabinet before announcing that she was going to find you some water.

“When you go outside, there should be a pump on the left side of the house. Make sure to pump for a while until you touch the water, it’s got to be disgusting,” you said as you started sweeping the floor with a broom.

“Yeah, I know how a cistern works, thanks.” She rolled her eyes at you. A minute later, you could hear the squeaking of the old metal pump and the gurgle of water seeing daylight for the first time in years. You put the broom in the corner and wiped your hands on your jeans. The bed looked inviting, but the beach called to you even louder. You could feel that this night would have a lasting impact on your life and your relationship with Abby.

After checking on the roof and the cistern, you made your way down to the beach and spent the afternoon swimming, reading, and chasing each other around. One time Abby actually tackled you too hard and you got sand everywhere - your mouth, your nose, your eyes, even under your bathing suit. Abby couldn’t stop apologizing and telling you how sorry she was and how she underestimated her own strength but you swore vengeance for later and laughed it off. In order to get rid of all the sand underneath your suit, you went into the water and took it off before whirling it around over your head and getting Abby all flustered.

You secretly wanted her to join you, but she seemed to be too timid to go that fast so you put your bathing suit back on and let yourself flop down next to her, purposely splashing water on her and making her squeal as the cold drops hit her hot skin. Following an impulse, you rolled over and on top of her, pressing your cold, wet body on her soft, warm back. This time, she forced herself to stay still and not throw you around again, instead resorting to cursing you and calling you an atrocious little eel, only making you laugh harder.

After a while, she gave up on fighting you and you rested your cheek on her warm shoulder, humming in satisfaction. This was nice. It would be even better when you’d lie next to her in bed.

The afternoon seemed to go on forever, time standing still as you two forgot all your worries and enjoyed living in this little bubble of sun, sea and happiness. Then, finally, the sun hung low over the sea, drenching the world in golden light and painting the water orange and the clouds pink. It was an explosion of light and color, the pure beauty you could only find in nature. Or in the person you loved most.

Looking over at Abby, you saw she was also watching the waves and the clouds, the soft light illuminating the tiny hairs on her face and arms and making the dried salt crystals that stuck to her skin glint like little diamonds. Her dark blonde hair was swaying in the slight breeze and her cheeks had a faint red tinge from the sun. She was mesmerizing.

You moved closer to her and drew your nose along her jawline, breathing on her neck and placing tiny kisses behind her ear and on her temple until she was humming and leaning into your touch. She slowly turned her head and grazed your open mouth with hers before running the tip of her tongue over your upper lip. She opened her eyes.

“This really is the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen. Nothing has ever made me feel like this,” she mumbled without drawing back.

“I’m glad you like it. I’ve been wanting to show it to you for a while.”

“I wish you would have shown me sooner. But I’m really happy you’re doing it now.” She turned her torso towards you and brushed her fingers over your thigh, leaving goosebumps in their wake. You could see the specks of gold in her iris, reflecting the last rays of sunlight and making her look ethereal and otherworldly. Oh god, how in the world had you found her? How had she found you? This was too good to be true, but you wanted to believe that it was, to believe that this moment could last forever.

In a desperate attempt to tell her all this, the beautiful chaos in your heart and your head that started spinning when you were with her, you leaned forward and kissed her. Hard, like you were scared this wasn’t real or it could be your last, then softer when you felt Abby tense up in surprise. She opened her mouth for you and you dragged your tongue against hers, tasting hints of salt and the fruit you had had earlier. You became more confident and placed your hand on her inner thigh which she took in with a gasp before grabbing the back of your neck and pulling you closer, her tongue now more forceful and demanding.

You couldn’t take the space between you any longer and crawled on top of her, straddling her hips as you looked down at her face, her green eyes half-closed and her mouth hanging open. The sun had said its farewells and vanished behind the horizon and the atmosphere created by the dusk suddenly hit you full force. Abby’s face was still softly lit by the pink clouds behind you while the sky behind her was a dark, heavy blue fading to black in the distance. She looked like a fucking painting.

“I’m so glad I found you,“ you whispered, running your fingers through her hair.

Abby answered by wrapping her arms around you and pulling you in. She kissed you with a burning passion, gentle but daring, sweet but hot, encasing you with her body and her mouth and pressing you so close that there wasn’t an inch left between you.

As she moved her hands down your body, pulling your hips closer and caressing your legs, she noticed the goosebumps all over your body and halted for a second.

“Are you cold, baby?”

You wanted to say no, but you had to admit you were starting to shiver under your still slightly damp swimming suit and wet hair, the evening breeze dancing around you and mocking you for getting so lost in the moment that you forgot everything around you.

“I really am,” you sighed, “maybe we could get some blankets and food and start a fire?”

Abby nodded and you struggled to your feet, feeling very naked and small all of a sudden. The blonde noticed your change of behavior and immediately got up next to you. She grabbed your books and towels and wrapped her dry one around your shoulders, rubbing up and down your arms a few times to warm you up before pulling you in for a tight hug.

“Come on, let’s get you inside and warmed up.”

Inside the cabin, Abby managed to light an oil lamp and fill the room with a wonderfully soft, yellow light. She slowly walked toward you and came to a halt right in front of you. Gently, she placed her hands on your shoulders and took the towel, placing it on a chair beside you. Then she hooked a finger under the strap of your swimsuit and slowly pulled it over your shoulder and down your arm, never breaking eye contact. Both of you were breathing heavily, the air between you felt like sirup and the world seemed to stop turning.

You laid a hand on top of Abby’s and moved with her, dragging the strap down your arm to expose a slight tan line and a hard nipple standing out into the cold air. Abby still hadn’t moved her eyes from yours, helping you pull your arm out of the strap and slowly pulling down the other one until your entire chest was bare. You could feel another rush of goosebumps chasing over your entire body while hot blood shot into your face and painted your cheeks in a deep red.

You both took a deep breath simultaneously, then you nodded at the tall woman in front of you. She lowered her eyes to your breasts and let out a shaky breath, then she raised a hand and drew her fingertips over your collarbone, down your ribs, and up between your breasts before brushing over your sensitive nipples and finally using both hands to cup your breasts. She stepped closer and bent her head to kiss you. You melted into her, her hands now all over your body, her hot skin on your cold flesh, and her mouth on yours before attacking your throat, making you throw your head back and let out an ecstatic moan.

Suddenly, Abby’s hands were on your ass and she picked you up effortlessly. You wrapped your legs around her waist and held on to her shoulders as she carried you towards the bed, sitting down on it with you in her lap. You buried your fingers in her hair and pulled on it as you ground your hips forward and kissed along her jaw.

In this moment, you felt something shift inside her. She tensed up, but not in a way that felt right in this situation. You let go of her immediately and leaned back to look at her, scared you had done something wrong or she didn’t want this after all.

“Abby, is everything okay?” you asked, your voice sounding strangely loud and panicky in the silent room.

She kept one hand on the small of your back while rubbing the back of her head with the other.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. It’s just - fuck…” You could see tears welling up in her eyes as she furrowed her brows and tried to keep it together. “You just reminded me of someone. It’s not your fault, you didn’t know. It’s just… you don’t know everything about me yet. Maybe it’s time you did so you can decide if you still want me.”

She averted her eyes and let her hands fall to your thighs. For the second time in minutes, you felt strangely exposed and out of place. You nodded, then you stood up and turned away. It felt like your heart was slowly tearing at the seams and pouring blood into your stomach. Why couldn’t this be easy? What was the secret Abby had kept from you? You couldn’t imagine not wanting her anymore. She was everything you had ever dreamed of, the only person that had ever made you truly happy and it was impossible for you to see a future without her. The thought alone felt like a knife to your stomach.

You quickly pulled a big hooded sweatshirt from your backpack and put it on before taking off the swimsuit and slipping into fresh underwear and linen pants. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Abby getting dressed as well.

“I’m gonna get some wood from the back and start a fire on the beach,” you declared into the silence and rushed out the door without daring to look at Abby.

You piled up the wood on the sand, added some dried grass and small sticks in the middle and lit them with a match. The breeze had died down and the fire started at the first try. Abby came down from the cabin with two plaid blankets, a water bottle, and a small loaf of bread from your provisions. She spread one of the blankets on the ground and motioned for you to sit down, putting the second one around your shoulders when you had settled.

She sat down next to you and took a few gulps of water before handing the bottle to you. You were thankful for the cool liquid soothing your dry throat after the day in the sun and saltwater.

Abby took a deep breath, then she began.

She told you about her life at Salt Lake, growing up among the Fireflies, about her father, the surgeon, and the search for a vaccine. They had heard there was a girl who was immune and on her way to them, but only a few people believed it, her dad among them. When the day finally came, she had been out training with her boyfriend Owen and upon her arrival at the base, everyone was talking about the girl and the surgery her father was about to perform on her in order to try to develop a vaccine. There was an actual chance of salvation; everyone was enthusiastic.

Then the shooting had happened. Joel, the man who had brought the girl had suddenly changed his mind and abducted the girl straight from the operating table. He had shot everyone in his way. When Abby ran to find her father, it had been too late. Joel had killed him and with him the last chance of making a vaccine. Abby’s world had been destroyed in a matter of minutes.

That day, she had sworn vengeance. She had started training even harder than before and followed every tip she got to find Joel. The Fireflies had crumbled and she and a small group of friends had joined the WLF. Abby had broken up with Owen and everyone but her had given up on vengeance, but one day she had found Joel and his brother Tommy. She had brought them to the cabin where she was staying with her crew and she had killed Joel. An eye for an eye.

What she hadn’t expected was the young woman turning up at the last second to inevitably watch Joel die. They had left her and Tommy there and seen the matter as dealt with.

Then, suddenly, Abby’s friends had been killed one by one. This was at the same time she had met Lev and helped him flee from the Seraphites. In Seattle, she had come face to face with Ellie, the immune girl from way back and the woman who had watched Joel, her father figure, die at the hands of Abby. She had been the one to kill Abby’s crew trying to find her. Abby however had defeated her and Tommy once more and warned them not to come after her again.

Months after, just as they had made first contact with the Catalina Fireflies, Abby and Lev had been captured by the Rattlers and were tortured for weeks. One day, Ellie had turned up there and helped them escape before challenging Abby to one last fight to the death, threatening to kill Lev if Abby wouldn’t do it. They had fought a gruesome battle, both sustaining terrible wounds before Ellie had given up and let Abby and Lev go.

Abby didn’t know where she was now and if she had survived, and she didn’t care. She knew why Ellie had pursued her and she knew Ellie understood her reasons, too. Still, the loss they had suffered at the hands of the other was unbearable. Abby had lost everyone she had ever trusted or shared good memories with to horrific deaths and there would never be justice. She would never get them back and she would never understand why all this had to happen.

By the end of her story, Abby was sobbing. You had wrapped your blanket around the both of you and your hand lay on her thigh, but you didn’t dare to make closer contact. You didn’t know what to think of all this. What a waste. What a terrible, devastating tragedy. How horrible to suffer this much and have no one to blame, nothing to do with all the pain and grief.

Abby wiped her eyes with the corner of the blanket.

“I think, if I hadn’t found Lev, I wouldn’t have made it. I would have let her kill me. What was there to live for after everything that had happened?”

The thought of Abby dying was the final pull that ripped your heart to shreds. You pressed both of your hands to your chest to assure yourself you were okay, panting heavily as you tried to find something to say. There was nothing you could offer that would make this hell better for her. The realization was crushing.

You both sat in silence for a few minutes while Abby tried to calm her breathing and you tried to calm your thoughts. Finally, you broke the silence.

“I’ve loved Lev from the minute I met him and I’m so thankful he’s here.”

What you wanted to say, wanted to scream into the flames, was that you had loved Abby since the second you saw her, that she had your heart, that this was fucking confusing but didn’t change your feelings for her and that you would never give up on trying to be with her.

“That little boy has the biggest heart I’ve ever seen. He’s been through so much and he had to grow up in the span of a few months, but when I see him smile or hear him laugh or talk about fucking sustainable agriculture” - she had to laugh through a veil of tears - “I know it was all worth it. Every fight, every day in that godforsaken cell, every bullet. He’s my reason.”

Fuck it. It was better to tell her right now than to suffer the uncertainty any longer.

“Abby, I honestly don’t know what to say. I can’t even begin to perceive the horrors you’ve been through and I’m not going to act like I even remotely understand how you feel. What I do know is this: there is no one to blame in this whole terrible web of tragedy. What matters is that it’s over and that you now have the chance to live a life without constant danger and death and disaster. And I’m going to be at your side every day, no matter how long it takes for you to accept safety and peace and maybe even happiness into your life, even if it takes you forever. I have never felt the way I feel with you, I didn’t even know it was possible to love someone this deeply. I understand that you’re far away sometimes and I know there is still a lot of distance between us and you don’t have to reciprocate any of this, but I just want you to know . Know you are loved, know you have a place here, and know I will do everything in my power to help you through this.”

Abby’s eyes had gone wide at your monologue and she seemed completely blindsided by your confession. How had she not seen this coming? Did she seriously think she was just some fling to you? A little summer fun? What was she thinking?

The blonde stared into the fire, contemplating and kneading her fingers.

“Today was the first time I didn’t think of them for several hours. Ever since we arrived, I just tucked it all away in a corner of my mind and decided I could be sad tomorrow because today, with you, I would be happy.”

You held your breath and waited for her to continue, not daring to move or say a word.

“And I really was. Happy, you know? And you’re different, too. Owen was there for me so I was there for him. It just turned out I didn’t care for him as much as he did for me. And that really, really fucking sucks to know now that he’s gone. But I can’t change it. All I know is that I’ve never cared for anyone as much as I care for you. You’re constantly on my mind and I get irritated and impatient when I haven’t seen you for too long, usually meaning only a couple hours, which is a little pathetic if I gotta be honest.”

She looked at you and it felt like she was staring right into your soul. You were frozen, in disbelief at what she was telling you. She held out her hand and you took it, your fingers naturally slipping between hers and closing around her palm. How could two bodies fit each other that perfectly? Abby took a deep breath and turned her gaze to the fire again.

“I still have a long way to go with all this and the next few days are going to absolutely fucking horrible. I have no idea how I’m going to survive that. But with you by my side, I want to try. For you, for Lev, and for all the people I’ve lost. I owe it to them to make the best of the life I still have.”

She lifted your hands to her face and kissed the back of your hand.

“You, Y/N, have stirred something inside me I haven’t felt in years. It feels warm and hopeful and eager to see what the next day brings. And because I know tomorrow will bring a lot of pain, at the moment I just want to see what the next hour brings.”

You let your head fall on her shoulder and she put an arm around you. It had gone completely dark and the fire was slowly dying down, but you were warm and comfortable. The night was singing a bittersweet song for those gone too soon, the trees humming their wonderful tenor as the waves joined in with a whisper, the bats over your heads drumming their fleeting rhythm, and an owl completing the symphony with her wailing cries.

Abby started talking again and telling you stories about her time with the Fireflies while ripping off little pieces of bread for you both. One day, her and Owen had helped her dad free a zebra that had gotten caught in some wire. Her first kiss had been Nora, her closest friend and a brilliant doctor. Leah and Jordan had been the power couple at the WLF, brilliant together but also extremely annoying whenever they started wildly making out at parties or fucking in the bathroom thinking the others wouldn’t hear. Then there was Mel, part of the group but in a difficult triangle with Abby and Owen. She had been pregnant with Owen’s child when Ellie killed her. And Yara, what a wonderful young woman. Lev’s sister had stood by him and defended him when he had gotten in trouble with the Seraphites and she had done everything she could to protect him until the day she died. From that day on, Abby had taken that responsibility.

She also told you about her fear of heights and the trip through the sky with Lev, now laughing as she admitted how bizarre it all seemed looking back. It was nice to hear her laugh again and to finally really get to know her.

When the fire was nothing more than a few smoldering coals, Abby suggested going back to the cabin. You packed up your things and carried them back inside. Abby lit the lamp again while you folded the sandy blankets and put them to the side. Then you locked the door.

As you turned around, you could see Abby standing next to the bed, looking at you. Her features were only lit from the side, golden light flickering over her cheekbones and jaw. Her head was slightly cocked and her hands were restless again, searching for something to hold on to and finding only each other.

“Come here,” she said in a low voice. You felt yourself drawn to her by an invisible string, moving faster with every step until you clashed into her, hands and arms entangling, hot mouths pressed together. She let herself fall back onto the bed and pulled you down with her.

You couldn’t tell if the rushing in your ears was the sea or your own blood, but it didn’t matter. Abby’s calloused hands were exploring your back under the sweatshirt, her thigh was pressed between yours and her heavy breathing joined the harmony in your head.

You paused for a minute, staring down at the beautiful face beneath you, her eyes promising that she was all yours.

“You're so fucking beautiful,” you whispered, then you kissed her again and dragged her down with you into an ocean of pleasure.

Author’s note: After receiving amazing feedback from you guys and a demand for more, I’m currently in the process of writing a Part 3 for this! Thank you for your patience 💌 if you’d like, you can support me by buying me a coffee 💛

#abby anderson #abby anderson x reader #abby x reader #abby tlou2 #the last of us 2 #abby anderson fic #fanfiction #smut #fluff #angst

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dreadfutures · 3 years

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Bloodied and Broken series

Bloodied and Broken is my Dragon Age series following Inquisitor Ixchel and her battle to find hope for herself, and hope for Thedas. She became Herald at 16 in her first life. The main entry is Dead Pasts, Dread Futures, which begins with Ixchel’s suicide in her twenties. She gets better. There will be a happy ending.

But because Dead Pasts, Dread Futures deals with a lot of heavy topics, and is also densely packed with politics, logistics, and slow character development, I want to outline other parts of the series that might appeal to other readers!

See below the cut for more details about the individual fics. There are also some tumblr-only drabbles also linked below the cut. :)

(How is Ixchel pronounced?)

The Complete Reading Order:

Lead Her Through the Darkness - Gift Oneshot! BECandCall wrote this fic about how Ixchel named herself.

Ruined Empires and Dust - 4 Oneshots (tw for chapter 2, very depressed).

The Vallaslin - Oneshot.

The Hope of Fen’Harel - Oneshot (just sad).

Dead Pasts, Dread Futures - Main entry. Actively updates. 150+ chapters. Starts with Ixchel’s suicide and deals a lot with depression and politics.

Our Careless Heads with Roses Bound - Fluffy-ish Oneshots

The Solavellan Reading List:

Ruined Empires and Dust - 3 Chapters. Pretty angsty but still, Solavellan.

The Vallaslin - Ixchel prepares to take the vallaslin.

The Hope of Fen’Harel - Oneshot. Ixchel’s Trespasser Ending.

Our Careless Heads with Roses Bound - Fluffy oneshots, mostly Solavellan

Dread Wolf and the Champion * - Excerpts from Dead Pasts Dread Futures. JUST Solas/Ixchel interactions. Includes the smut. Also includes some of the angst

Pure Angst, Low Wordcount:

Ruined Empires and Dust

The Vallaslin

The Hope of Fen’Harel

Bloodied and Broken Bits:

Solas POV of DPDF

Drabbles and Prompts:

Ixchel’s fake DA Wiki Companion Page

From Green To Gold

Solas’s POV of Trespasser

Ixchel’s Favorite Beverage

Will Ixchel have children?

How did Ixchel meet Charter?

A mysterious hair washing

Ixchel describes her lover.

Ixchel and Solas face the Sha-Brytol

The Hero of Ferelden is worried about Ixchel

Solas learns how Ixchel died (Young!Timeline)

Main Entry: Dead Pasts, Dread Futures. Updates regularly, 130+ chapters, won’t be over anytime soon. Ixchel is in her mid-twenties when she ends her life, tired of being the Hope of Thedas and the Hope of Fen’Harel. As the world ends, she gets resurrected and sent back in time. She is very angry, and very depressed about it. Ixchel struggles. She finds hope. Slowly, she will get better. Also very heavy on Thedas politics, morality, empathy, and...logistics. Very, very long longfic.

(Solas POV drabbles of moments from Dead Pasts, Dread Futures)

Lead Her Through the Darkness. Oneshot. BECandCall aka DuchessofSwoll wrote this gift during the Dragon Age Fanfiction discord server’s OC swap month. This is the story of how Ixchel found her name.

Dread Wolf and the Champion: Literally just excerpts of any time Solas and Ixchel interact in Dead Pasts, Dread Futures. If you’re not looking for the Thedas politics, or 80% of the angst, or the plot, maybe this is for you! I made this for my own reference to be quite honest but it does include the smut!

Two-Handed: 10 Chapters. Postponed! Ixchel, a 16-year-old orphan who was recently adopted into the Dalish Lavellan Clan, volunteers to go to the Conclave due to her ability to somewhat pass as a human, and her lack of vallaslin, and her proclivity for sneaking. She becomes the very much out-of-her-depth Herald of Andraste...Inquisitor...and the Hope of Fen’Harel. Currently this fic is basically abandoned as I’m focused on the story of Ixchel’s second life, but I have tons of ideas for it, as you can see by the many oneshots.

Ruined Empires and Dust: 3 Chapters. Ch 1: Ixchel confronts Solas in the Fade after she realizes, after the Temple of Mythal, that Solas is in fact an ancient elf...and specifically that he is Fen’Harel. Ch 2: Ixchel confronts Solas in the Fade after Trespassser, desperate to understand why he left her, why he refuses her help, and why he insists on making her fight him. Ch 3: Ixchel realizes why she never sees Solas on the battlefield. Ch 4: Ixchel is resurrected, and Solas meddles.

The Vallaslin: Oneshot. Ixchel is finally offered the vallaslin of Dirthamen after proving to Keeper Hawen how dedicated she is to preserving Elven history. Solas cannot in good conscience let her take them. Not without a warning. (Follow-up post here.)

The Hope of Fen’Harel: Oneshot. Ixchel’s Trespasser eluvian scene with Solas.

Our Careless Heads with Roses Bound: I was trying to do Fluffuary. This is where I put the prompt fills.

#dead pasts dread futures #bloodied and broken #ao3 #ixchel lavellan

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xxwritemeastoryxx · 3 years

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Angst Week Is Coming!

You read that right. Angst week is quickly approaching! Where the fics that are posted for you guys will range in variation of how badly it hurts.

So brace yourselves lovelies. The first one will go easy on you and the others will only get more intense. If at any point in time you can't handle the fics being put out, please by all means exit out of them. I am posting this with some trigger warnings that will be with in the fics as a pre warning. Each fic will be labled and tagged correctly to ensure that you guys know what is in them.

Most fics include: Canon typical violence, blood and gore.

Some fics include: Character death, detailed torture (added on top of the canon typical blood and gore).

Trigger warnings in some fics: Mentions of rape/sexual assult, thoughts of death (not specifically suicide but dark on it's own), and domestic violence.

Sunday: Bottled Emotions - No trigger warnings that are needed. Teenage heartbreak and that's about it in this one.

Monday: Not Her- No trigger warnings that are needed. However Character death and the canon typical violence/Blood and gore are present.

Tuesday: Sacrifices -Mild trigger warning of thoughts of death. Will be tagged as follows: #tw:thoughts of death #tw:dark thoughts . If you are easily triggered by thoughts of death, please filter out the tags or even ignore the post altogether.

Wednesday: Escape Plan- Detailed torture (If you have not read something that I've written with detailed torture, please read Eye for An Eye, Untold Future and even Death Wish has a mild verison of it. Trigger warnings!: Mentions of rape, sexual assult, thoughts of suicide. The following tags will be applied #tw:sexual assult #tw:mentions of rape, #tw:rape, #tw:suicidal thoughts, and for added measure #tw:detailed torture. PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. ONLY YOU CAN WORK THROUGH YOUR TRIGGERS AND I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY DISTRESS OR ACTIONS THAT MAY FOLLOW YOU READING THIS FIC. I am putting these warning and tags out now so you can prepare yourself. This is the darkest fic I've got coming this week and I need ya'll to be prepared. DO NOT COME AT ME LATER SAYING I GAVE NO WARNINGS. This is your warning, your preperation and I will be reposting this quite a few times. If you don't take preventative action that is on you!

Thursday: In Too Deep- Mentions of Domestic Violence, canon typical blood and gore. Because of domestic violence I will be tagging this fic with a trigger warning just in case. #tw:Domestic violence

Friday: Lethal Bite: Canon typical blood and gore, chracter death. No trigger warnings needed for this one.

Saturday: Hollowed trap - Character death, canon typical blood and gore. Mild trigger warnings for thoughts of suicide and death. This fic will be tagged with #tw:suicidal thoughts and #tw: thoughts of death.

These fics are meant to and will emotionally break you. Read at your own risk. I am no responsible for you reading them and not taking the warning seriously. Do not come at me after reading them saying I'm a horrible person for not warning or even for writing what I have. You do not have to read them. NO ONE IS FORCING YOU TO READ ANYTHING!

This post will be reblogged daily up until the end of angst week.

#Angst week is coming #angst week is gonna hurt like a bitch #angst week #trigger warnings list #what to expect #prepare yourself #get yourselves ready #shit is gonna hurt #Warnings are there for a reason #read at your own risk

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lollybliz · 4 years

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bout to make a Monster of a fic rec post here we go

heyo @jinx108! We’ll start with the complete ones because sometimes you’re just not in the mood to wait for the last chapter, you know? I don't remember details of all of these so i’m just going to copy the author’s summary rather than write my own. I am literally just going through my bookmarks, I got 400 of these to sort through. if ive talked to or am familiar with the author im gonna mention them, but if I mention you and you don't want me to have Please tell me and i’ll remove it.

If you’re not into spoilers Please Tread Carefully, I don't watch out for that stuff so I wont know to label it

1>Crushing Truth by Bunzuku: Tododeku. “Romance is hard enough for a teenager to understand when they have a good relationship role model. For Shoto, it takes two excited meddlers for him to even realize what his feelings really are.“

2>Disowned by b00mgh: tododeku + others. Unrated, some traumatic elements. “Shouto freaks out under a bridge and I use the word "grass" a lot more than I really should. Izuku does his stupid martyr thing and everyone makes continuous references to his propensity to break his bones. Aizawa goes "oh FUCK my kids are dying again" and his students use him as emotional (and physical) support. A friend requests angst, I say what kind, she say idk make someone get disowned and i say oh this I can absolutely provide my good buddy.”

3>cotton candy hands by @chonideno: Kiribaku. I will take Any excuse to rec this fic, its the most fluffy pile of feels Good Lord. also the first fic I ever bound into a physical book. “Studying to become a hero requires knowing how to take care of yourself. Sometimes you might need help on the way so if your crush offers to do your hair for you or to give you a well-deserved back rub, it'd be stupid to say no. A series of soft vignettes in which a love-struck Kirishima and a touch-starved Bakugou care for each other and it's definitely not making their hearts jump through hoops, they’re never this close to kissing, no, they're totally best friends bro“

4>Catching Sight of the Storm by neo7v: Kiribaku, tododeku. A considerable amount of Whump and related angst, and kinda sad tbh. “Blind. Quirkless. Useless.The first two things were stated clearly by the doctor that sat about five feet in front of Izuku. The third was a word that Kacchan called him everytime he failed to make the jump on whatever forest excursion they were on or when he ran into a tree because he hadn’t seen it. “I’m so, so sorry, Izuku.” Was his mom giving up on him already? But he could still be a hero if he tried hard enough, right? Quirkless or not. Blind or not. Just because Izuku was useless now didn’t mean he would stay that way forever, right? *** A Blind!Izuku AU”

5>Yell Heah by fakecharliebrown: Chatfic. M a n y pairings. technically complete, but part of an ongoing series. “Iida creates a group-chat for Class 1-A. It doesn't go as planned.“

6>Sunshine by Rosey_Note: BIG SAD. tw- failed suicide attempt. KiriKamiBaku. “They didn't deserve to put up with his crappy mood. Because Denki Kaminari did not feel like Sunshine right now. And they deserved sunshine. In fact, Denki didn't feel much of anything right now.“

7>Electric Connection by Onlymostydead: ShinKami. “Kaminari's quirk has always had... Weird side affects. Like his ADHD. And his constant energy. And his insomnia, which wouldn't leave him be right now, when he really needed to just get some sleep. But, thankfully, he has good friends.“

8>The Best (The Worst) by Onlymostydead: no romantic pairing. tw- rampant transphobia, both outside and internalized. “Bakugou Katsuki has known who he was since he was four years old. He was a boy, it was as simple as that. Around his friends, at school... But things couldn't just be that simple, could they?“

9>Lichtenberg Figures by Q_loves_you: no definite romantic pairing. “Kaminari Denki has a very powerful force of nature running through his body. Kaminari Denki doesn't want to hurt anybody. He doesn't always get what he wants, and "anybody" does generally include himself.“

10>Eventuality by KikaTouka: ill be honest I don't remember this one at all, I maaaay not have read it yet :/. anyway. ShinKami. “Shinsou learns more than just hero lessons after being transferred to 1-A.“

11>Pickup Lines for the Soul by MustardSoup: ShinKami. “Denki is twelve when he is flicking through the TV channels and lands on an old RomCom movie about soulmate marks – specifically the same type that he has. “I can’t believe I’ve had to walk around with a cheap pickup line written on my ankle my entire life because of you!” The leading lady yells at the leading man as he stares at her in awe. Denki laughs. “Oh no.” His mother says, watching him. “Oh no, indeed.” His sister repeats quietly.“

12>caught in my own web by @anxioussailorsoldier: ShinKami. “Shinsou needs some help after getting caught up in his capture weapon. Kaminari enters from stage left.“

13>not so summer love by nataliya: ShinKami. “Class 2-B’s common room, although typically quiet, was currently filled with five students—three slowly giving up on homework, one bitching about noise and another that rushes through the front door. “We’ve been waiting for you—” Mina starts, but Kaminari’s vaulting over the back of the couch, eyes wide as he practically buzzes out of his skin, emitting light like crazy as currents dazzle across strands of hair. “I have a big ugly crush,” He steps off the couch and onto the coffee table, much to Bakugou’s chagrin, “On big ugly Shinsou.””

14>Blamed by coldandhotsoba: ShinKami. Tw- they fuckin kill a guy and its a lil nasty. “This was not how the day was supposed to end. They were supposed to end the day like they do most nights. Kaminari clutching onto him like a koala as he slept, wrapped in the millions of tacky blankets Kaminari had bought. Warm and safe in their bed. It was not supposed to end with both of them tied up in some cold metal room.“

15>Lightning Scars by Present-Mics-Scream (write_your_way_out): Shinkami. “It's hard to be confident in your abilities when you're surrounded by people with incredible quirks. Shinsou Hitoshi would know better than anyone. Sure, he was admitted to the hero course in his second year, but being admitted to the hero course, and keeping up with the rest of the class are two different things. Lucky for him, Kaminari is there to prove that the flashiest quirks come with the largest drawbacks.“

16>See No Evil, Hear No Evil by randomfan188: no romantic pairing. “Kaminari Denki is legally blind. When he forgets to wear his contacts and breaks down during math class, comfort appears in the strangest of ways.“

17>how not to enjoy the weather, an article by kaminari denki by dreamtowns: no defined romantic pairing. “If there was one thing Kaminari hated the most in a world wth villains, it would have to be thunderstorms.“

18>”Studying” by emmyrox22: ShinKami, EraserMic. “Shinsou and Kaminari have been “studying” together for a while (but not for school). Shinsou gets stopped by his dads on the way to another “study” session and mistakes are made“

19>Weaknesses by sunflowerstorm: ShinKami. “Kaminari's quirk and storms compliment each other in the worst way, but he's convinced he can deal with it on his own... until he really can't any longer. When Shinsou accidentally overhears Aizawa confronting Kaminari about recent changes in behaviour and hears about the hell his quirks been putting him through, he can't just pretend he never heard. He wants to help.“

20>it’s hurt denki hours by memeingfultrash: ShinKami + others. ““Certain members of our class are...under the impression that...you’re the traitor.” Denki’s body went cold and felt like he was going to short circuit. ~some of class 1a believes that denki is the traitor and avoid him”

21>Petition to replace Mineta with Shinsou- (signed by Kaminari Denki) by CharaTheQuartz: ShinKami + others. This is one of my favorites, I go back to reread it from time to time. It SAYS 41/42, but that's just a glitch cus chapter 36 doesn't exist for some reason, I talked to the author about it and its fine. “Mineta brings shame to the color purple. You know who does not bring shame to the rich color, but pride and sexual tension to one infatuated Kaminari Denki instead? Shinsou Hitoshi, aka sexy zombie man, aka the most perfect hunk of a man to walk planet earth, aka future husband. Shinsou has finally gotten his chance to prove himself to the hero course, and he did more than prove himself. The only question left unanswered is whether he will start in A or B, and how Kaminari can manipulate the end result.“

22>How to Get a Boyfriend (in Four Easy Steps!) by e1ana: ShinKami, EraserMic, + others. “Step 1: Get kicked out of the house by your homophobic parents. Step 2: Run headfirst into your brooding, mysterious crush. Step 3: Sleep in his dad’s (see: your homeroom teacher) house Step 4: Watch everything you thought you knew go to shit. This isn’t exactly the sweet, romantic plan that Kaminari Denki longed for. Will everything be ok, or will step 5 be to crash and burn?“

23>Bakugou and Todoroki’s Foolproof 5-Step Plan to Fuck with Mineta Minoru by Anubis_2701: Kiribaku, TodoDeku, + others. This is another one of my favorites, and the one I am currently folding and sewing into a physical book. you learn how to do funny things when bored and quarantined ig. “It was a simple enough idea; screw around with the resident bastard of Class 1-A to let him know that his medieval ways and perverted behaviour weren't going to be tolerated by even the most career-focused of UA's students. To say that things had snowballed was an understatement. Todoroki had no idea how he had ended up sitting on Bakugou's floor at 1 am, holding a dossier of incriminating material that would make the FBI slobber, but he wasn't sure he wanted to know. The long and short of it was, fuck Mineta.”

24>Colour Theory by chancellorxofxtrash: TodoBakuDeku. this one’s a series. “Midoriya/Bakugo/Todoroki slow burn soulmate AU. All three of them are nerds with their own emotional issues, trying to navigate their way through becoming heroes, and their own relationship with each other.“

25>Summer Sunshine by Mara97: TodoDeku. Ever want a Barbie in a mermaid tale/Bnha crossover? No? well here you go anyway! “Instead of worrying about college, Izuku spends his summer vacation finding out his father is, supposedly, a dead merman king and going on a quest to dethrone the current king, Endeavor. Along the way, Izuku becomes close to the three journeying with him, makes friends with strangers, starts crushing on an unattainable prince, and, in the end, learns to love himself. Oh, and he saves a kingdom, too.“

26>The snowflakes on our skin and the flames in our soul are one (and the same), my love by missunderstuffyou: TodoDeku, Kiribaku. this is one of the ones I keep a running reread comment going on. its at,,, 6, atm. “Before your quirk begins to present itself, the soulmate link comes through, and suddenly whatever you write upon your own skin appears on the body of your soulmate. As your soulmate writes to you, the emotions they feel follow through the ink.Izuku Midoriya is four years and a few months old when he first feels the slight ebbing in his arms. It doesn’t hurt… he can just feel something, and it’s enough to make him sprint into his mother’s arms screaming that his quirk is coming. She had been washing in the kitchen, and the sudden screech as her son rockets into her side is enough to make her jump with panic, immediately grabbing at him and looking for cuts and bumps before she understands his words and the stupidly bright, alight smile on his face with large, watery, hopeful eyes. Shoto Todoroki doesn’t feel his soulmate connection open up. It is drowned in the aches of a small body worked far too hard.“

27>It was dark inside the closet by Chad_Champion69420: Pre-ShinDeku? maybe? its tagged shindeku but like. it’ll make sense if you read it. “Midoriya is invited to a party. He and Shinsou decide to play a little trick on the rest of the party during Seven Minutes in Heaven.”

28>how to woo your local trash gremlin: a comprehensive guide by Todoroki shouto by wonhaebunny: TodoBaku. this is the fic that dragged me into todobaku, fun fact. “five times shouto tries to confess to bakugou, and one time he doesn't bother tryingaka: wikihow is a scam and bakugou is a terrible, terrible boy“

29>top ten photos taken right before disaster by Shookspeare: ShinDeku. “Izuku participates in a harmless prank, only to end up ruining it and running for dear life.“

30>Secrets to Share by pechebaie: no definite romantic pairing. “Kirishima comes out first, and nothing changes. Kirishima and Kaminari still hang out to complain about class and talk about boys - and sometimes girls, too, in Kaminari’s case; he still plans stupid pranks with Sero that get them sent to the principal’s or nurse’s office every time; Ashido still kicks his ass at Mario Kart without hesitation; and Bakugou doesn’t get angry at him any more than he usually does.“

31>What One Hides by Pinalinet: TodoDeku. “All Might gives class 1-A an unusual assignment that results in Midoriya Izuku and Todoroki Shouto attending a weekly acting class. But with a mysterious villain targeting individuals without Quirks, and a developing issue of Todoroki's own, an after-school assignment is the least of their worries.“

32>whether or not we’re fated, we’re meant to be by juurensha: KINDA SPOILERY. TodoDeku + others. “Todoroki didn’t have a soulmark for most of his life.His siblings all did, but up until the day of the U.A. entrance exam, he had shoved the idea aside. It’s not like they could help him anyway. And then a 9 appears on his chest, and a green-haired boy barrels into his life with a fire and ice soulmark on his arms, and suddenly Todoroki cares very much about all this could mean.”

33>The Midnight Shift by meiishu @meiishu @totallytodoroki (idk which you’d rather I attach so I went with both): ShinKami. ““Hey Toshi,” Denki says, and he laughs, clearly embarrassed. He’s got on a jean jacket that did him absolutely no help and a white tee shirt that is currently stuck to his torso. It’s got a pikachu design in the center. “By any chance, do you sell umbrellas?” “You really went out in this weather.” Hitoshi deadpans, instead of dignifying that with an answer. or hitoshi works the midnight shift at the gas station, which also doubles as a pokestop for pokemon go. of course, denki is a regular.”

34>Rock the House by AkabaneKayo: ShinKami. “It wasn’t just his bed. It was his entire fucking room shaking. Only one thought crossed his mind at that moment: “Holy shit. My room is haunted.”“

35>Technically, they’re morning kisses by CharaTheQuartz: ShinKami. “Most nights, Shinsou cannot fall sleep. Neither can Kaminari. It seems counterproductive to have a sleepover then, but they try to make it work. And they fail, but that is okay.“

36>someone to call mine by nearly_theyre: ShinKami, EraserMic “From: Me wish you were here, denks From: kitten 💛💘💛 what if i was tho? OR Four times Denki snuck into Hitoshi's room and one time he walked through the front door.“

37>Pretty by Onlymostydead (noticing some repeat authors? me too): no definite romantic pairing. “(Or, Kaminari still can't figure out bra clasps.) Kaminari has never really felt good about himself. Herself? Whichever way, not knowing doesn't make anything easier. Especially when he (she?) and Mina have their bodies swapped during training, and everything seems too right.“

38>If I offer you my hand, will you take it? by bleukitsune: Kiribaku. SPOILERY. ““Why?” Kirishima leaned back on his hands, trying to create some space between them. Too close. The ash-blond looked really nervous, his usually arrogant and cunning demeanor gone. “What do you see when you look at me? Kirishima is worried. Bakugou is hurting. After his confrontation with Midoriya, he finally reaches out to him. “

Theres way more but I haven't tagged them properly yet so that m a y come later if I can ever finish going through and adding my sorting tags.

and then a last few that Are Not Complete but im really very fond of them. not as many as id like to add, but my hands are getting tired tbh.

39>State of Mind by GuardianOfTheLoaf: no relationship YET but its looking like it’ll be either tododeku or shindeku, probably the former. EraserMic. tw- childhood neglect and severe depression. Izuku’s not a happy kid. “Izuku was a late bloomer, his quirk lying dormant until his tenth birthday when in a fit of emotion he grabs his mother and she disappears. With All Might slowly restoring his confidence Izuku begins the difficult journey into becoming a hero.“ 18/? chapters.

40>Izuku Eats His Problems by CosmicAce: ShinDeku. Izuku’s a flerkin, what more could you want? “His whole life, Izuku Midoriya was taught to keep his powers, his Quirk, hidden from the world. His kind were feared, hunted to near extinction because of it. He just wants to show people he’s different. That he can be a HERO. And nothing is going to stop him. Even if his Quirk IS like an eldritch abomination.“ 43/? chapters

and then probably my current favorite bnha fic- although it fights with Apertum Mortem for that spot but that ones d a r k and not here-

41>family of the year by periiwren: EraserMic. “Hitoshi is done. Done with moving around every few months to a couple that will scrutinize him and eventually dump him right back where he started. Good thing he’s well past his strike limit now- at least he can stay in one place, be content to age out of the system and finish out his training with Aizawa. Maybe transfer into the hero course, maybe be a hero- but none of that was guaranteed. The only thing for sure was that he was going to stay in that center for the rest of his childhood. Or so he thought- because Aizawa Shouta and Yamada Hizashi have other plans.“ 24/? chapters. we’ve been informed that this one’s gonne be l o n g and im Very Grateful.

42>Here There Be Dragons by here_and_there: pre-ShinDeku. “Izuku looked at the small circle Aizawa had motioned to in front of them. "I won't fit," he whispered, thinking. He raised his hand, tentatively. Sighing, Aizawa grumbled, "What?" "I-I have a question. Actually, two." His teacher just stared at him, unimpressed. Izuku continued. "Can we activate our quirks before we step into the ring?" Aizawa looked up into the sky, muttering something Izuku didn't hear. "If you must." "O-Okay. Uh, second question. You said we have to stay inside the circle, right?" "Yes." The man looked disappointed, not only in Izuku but in himself for letting the kid speak. "Great. Uh... does that include tails?"“ 6/? chapters.

43>Another Option by sandersonsister: TodoBakuDeku, Touya/Hawks, Dabi/Hawks. Potentially Spoilery, depends on whether horikoshi has the guts to confirm Touya. this one is waiting around the corner with a baseball bat, its really cute, and then r e a l l y painful. it might be getting better though. maybe. it might be getting worse. “When Touya stops his mother from hurting Shouto, he decides enough is enough. He needs to get out of this house and he's taking his baby brother with him.“ 33/? chapters.

That's it i’m done for now, oof. maybe ill edit more onto this post later, maybe i’ll just make another one. hope some of these work!

#fic rec #bnha #mha #tododeku #todobakudeku #kiribaku #shinkami #shindeku #erasermic #To Be Continued

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mrsmaybank · 4 years

Text

Gas Station Girl - Spencer Reid x Reader - CH 3

Spencer Reid’s first impression of the Reader is mixed. She’s “audacious, promiscuous, clever, and troubled.” and there is so many things Spencer would like to do about it.

CHAPTER ONE HERE

CHAPTER TWO HERE

A/N:I’m writing a Spencer Reid x Reader multific! The series will be intense and 18+. Age gaps, Explicit sexual content (dom/sub dynamics/kinks), angst, family issues, dark themes including: violence, suicide, murder, death, blood, and drug use and addiction. (Chapters will of course have trigger warnings depending on the content) HIGHLY recommend you listen to the playlist as you read!

A/N2: This chapter is the most wholesome one in the whole series! Other then the kinky smut LMAO. No for real though, this is as fluffy as it gets. Next chapter gets um... well you’ll see!

TW: Language, Age gap, use of ‘Little Girl’ as pet name, explicit sexual content (light degradation & unprotected sex), mentions of death, smoking weed, mentions of violence

Fic Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4WYosdR6Tz4y9lsmUghoMU?si=ZvyS_2oqSDW95PxULRs2fQ

The seconds of ignorant bliss after opening your eyes for the first time since a night of horrible decisions didn’t last as long for Y/N anymore. Pains and aches serving a reminder of all the apologies that were owed from her. Instant dread and distaste for confrontation swirled in her stomach. Ah but she deserved it all. The night was blurry, but from recollection, it was only Teddy. He’d dropped her off home, she remembered that. From where? Who knows, but it probably didn’t matter. Teddy’s services didn’t really warrant (nor did Teddy want) a heartfelt, apologetic phone call she decided. Instead a simple, “thx” text sufficed.

She stepped out of her room, pleased with the sight of her roommate rolling a joint on the kitchen table. “Good fucking morning.” she meant it. The weed would ease the sting of the bruises and busted lip.

“Morning.” Kena said, licking the joint to seal its precious contents. “What the fuck happened to you last night?” making a face of amusement.

The friends bursted out in laughter in unison.

“Got my ass beat.” Y/N started telling the story as Kena lit the j. “Remember ‘Record Shop’ Dude’?”

“Do I remember? You guys fucked for like a week straight. Thought you guys were gonna get married.”

“Well,” she couldn’t contain her laughter anymore, “Apparently he has a girlfriend. They’ve been together for three years.”

Kena passed her the joint laughing, “Apparently.” she watched as her friend inhaled the smoke, “I’ll never understand why you don't fight back every time. I’ve seen your left hook, it’s deathly. It’s like you like getting your ass kicked.”

Y/N finished the joint, putting it out. “Yeah, I get off. Masochist, remember?” she said in a serious tone. Kena understood the satire of her response.

“What’re your plans tod-” she was cut off by her phone ringing. She saw the unknown number and smiled putting it on speaker for Kena to hear. “I’m fucking broke!” she shouted as Kena laughed. “You can’t scam me! I don’t have any fucking money to steal!”

The line went silent and they awaited the confused stutter of some telemarketing con artist. And a confused stutter came.

“Y/N? It’s Spencer.” he paused, “Spencer Reid?” he paused again. Perhaps she’d forgotten him. “Dr. Spencer Reid?”

“I know who you are.”

Kena looked at her friend in confusion, but she was busy replaying the events of the previous night. Spencer had called Teddy, from the parking lot of a shady...her memory stalled, liquor store.

“Holy fuck I’m such a piece of garbage.” was the only thing her subconscious could render.

“I am so fucking sorry. Holy shit. Thank you for last night, dear fuck. I’m sorry about that. And for screaming at you! I didn’t have your number saved.”

Spencer lightly sighed. She remembered. “It’s okay. How are you feeling?”

“Uh, great.” she stammered, “I’ve woken up a lot worse.”

Spencer could hear the slight embarrassment in her voice. “Good, good.” he took a deep breath, “Well I was wondering if maybe I could take you out to lunch? We’ve only ever spoken in parking lots.”

Kena opened her eyes in delight, mouthing “Yes!”

Y/N couldn’t contain her smile, “I’d like that Dr. Reid. Pick me up at three?”

“Sure little girl. See you soon.” Spencer hung up and Y/N melted.

Kena screamed, “You’ve been fucking a doctor?!”

“No.” she smiled a devilish grin, “But I’m about to.” she sang, practically skipping with joy back to her room.

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Spencer hadn’t gotten a good look at the complex in the dark, but now he could see it in its full glory. Beer bottles and cigarette buds littered everywhere, sulky characters loitering at practically every corner, and a reek of marijuana. Not his personal idea of home sweet home.

He watched as the girl he was waiting for exited from apartment 209, looking just as wild as ever. He wondered if the disheveled look was intentional or if she always looked so crazily hot. His eyes continued to follow as she walked down the steps and into his passenger seat.

“Hi.” she said, eyes wide and if he didn’t know any better, he’d say she was blushing. Y/N didn’t seem like the kind of girl to blush.

“Hey. You look nice.” he started to pull out of the parking space.

“You don’t have to say that you know. I don’t look nice. I never look nice.” she sighed, “Truthfully I hate the idea of looking nice.”

Spencer was amused with her little ramble, “Why?”

“‘Cause nice is what you look like when you’re going to church. Or brunch. And I don’t do either of those.” she said plainly.

“What’s wrong with brunch?” he questioned smiling.

“Nothing is wrong with brunch.” she paused for a minute, deciding whether or not to tell him all the atrocious memories she had in connection to brunch. He only asked you about fucking brunch. Don’t reveal all your baggage already. Don’t be a dramatic bitch. Just say your vegan or some bullshi-

“What are you contemplating on telling me?”

Her mouth gaped playfully. “Fucking cut the profiling! Three minutes in and you’re already doing your weird government shit.” she remarked, teasingly defensively.

Spencer laughed, “Weird government shit? Really?”

“Yeah.” she pursed her lips, “I said what I said.”

“It’s psychology, not weird government shit. It’s analyzing body language, and speech patterns and-”

“I get it. You’re fucking smart.” They pulled out to a red light.

“You’re smart too.”

“Thanks Doctor.” she smiled, it did make her happy to hear that. “So where are you taking me?”

“You’ll see.”, and see she did. As they got out of the car, Y/N couldn’t stop smiling. At first it was the way Spencer’s hand found hers, but then it was the sight. The restaurant was placed under the biggest trees she’d ever seen, with ivy hanging just a couple feet over her head. It was illuminated with lanterns and tiny hanging lights and she felt like she was in a fairy tale. It was beautiful.

“Hey Spencer?”

“Yes?” he said approaching the hostess, “Table for two, Spencer.” His attention shifted back down at her. “This is the prettiest place a boy has ever taken me.”

He smiled, “Yeah? You like it?” The hostess led them to their table and they sat. “A lot.” she giggled and Spencer swore his heart would explode. The sound was just too adorable.

“So Y/N, where are you from?”

She was a little surprised at the question, almost like nobody had ever asked. Had she ever been on a date? Like a proper sit down date?

“New York City, originally. But I uh, moved around a lot as a kid.”

“Tell me about that.”

“You really wanna know?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” he questioned.

“Okay, fine. I used to live in this beautiful townhouse in Manhattan. I had a pink room with a huge bed and canopy. A gorgeous chandelier, this vanity with all my tiaras, and my dolls! Oh my god, those dolls were so fucking pretty.” he listened intently, relishing in the way her eyes lit up in a way he’d never seen.

“And then my dad died.” the glint of joy in her eyes was gone. “When I was seven. And we moved to West Virginia, living with my grandmother, until she died!” she let out a small laugh in attempts to keep the mood up. “Then we were living in this mobile park, which wasn’t so bad. Creeps and meth-heads came and went, but overall not a horrible place to grow up. It’s where I met Teddy, you know him.”

He nodded his head, still listening to every detail of the story.

“After my mom got remarried, him and I decided we wanted to go to California. This was supposed to just be a pitstop, get our shit together, you know? But we had a falling out, and he went without me. Came back when his brother got cancer. Then after Casey died he came back to D.C, got me to enroll in school with him And uh, now I’m here. I go to Washington Uni, by the way. Major in Journalism.” she ended shyly.

“I’m sorry about your dad. And your grandma. That’s a story.”

She nodded her head. “Its okay. Better place, you know?” How about you?”

“Well, uh, I’m from Las Vegas. It’s been just me and my mom for a while. My childhood was a little weird, graduated high school when I was twelve, then I-”

“Hold the fuck up, twelve?” he nodded. “Holy shit. You’re one of those freakishly smart prodigy motherfuckers aren’t you?”

He laughed, “IQ of 187, not to brag.”

“Oh fuck you, you’re totally bragging.”

“You got into Washington, you did well in school too.”

“Yeah uh, despite the shitty childhood school wasn’t really ever an issue. My dad was a Senator, George Y/L/N, in New York. He had a lot of random contacts. When we moved to West Virginia I got to go to some snobby private school ‘cause his friend was a board member. Saint Matilda Preparatory School. Top of my class.” she smiled, “Not to brag.”

“You’re definitely bragging.” he teased.

Scoffing, she said, “I didn’t drop my IQ number, so you’re still the gloating one here.”

“I didn’t think you were a high school drop-out.” “Aw Spencer really?” she said sarcastically.

There waiter came and took their order, but neither of them really cared about the food. They stayed there talking for longer then the restaurant would’ve liked, telling each other their craziest dreams, wildest experiences, bad decisions, and nothing and everything. Before they knew it, the restaurant was kicking them out. They walked back to Spencer’s car, hysterically laughing at the disdained waiter who had to so awkwardly ask them to order something else or leave, Y/N clinging to his arm.

“Nobody’s ever done something like this for me before.” Y/N said as Spencer got into the drivers seat.

“What do you mean?” Spencer turned to face her.

“Picked me up, taken me to a pretty restaurant, paid, opened doors for me.” her eyes locked in his, “Listened to me talk for so long.”

“I could listen to you talk forever.” he grabbed her face and kissed her. The kiss was nothing like he’d expected. It wasn’t an aggressive make-out fired by lust, it was a kiss of passion and dear affection.

They began to drive in silence. Not uncomfortable Awkward silence, more like enjoying each other's company silence. That is until Y/N did something Spencer should’ve seen coming as this was the same girl he’d met at the gas station. Her hands were inching their way up his leg to his crotch, teasingly slow. She scanned his eyes for some note to stop, but it never came. She palmed him gently through his pants, watching him struggle to keep his eyes on the road, as he twitched under her touch. “Fuck.” he sighed out quietly, “Stop.”

“Take your shoes off, get in the backseat.” he turned off the main road, driving down a more secluded street until he found a tiny spot almost completely hidden by trees.

“Take your clothes off.” he still hadn’t made eye contact with her since telling her she was smart. She did as she was told, taking off her top and shorts as fast as she could. Spencer got out of the driver's seat and got into the back passenger seat, only the middle seat separating them. “Come here.” obeying, she did. In only a bra and underwear, she crawled into Spencer's fully clothed lap, as he grabbed her face and kissed her. Her barely let her move, wanting to be able to explore her mouth freely, She gasped for air, whispering a small “Oh fuck.”

He tightly gripped her jaw, toying with her bottom lip as he spoke, “You have such a dirty mouth.”

She smiled more poisonously then he’d ever seen, it was mischievous and seductive, and it made him crazy. “What’re you gonna do about it sir?”

Now it was him smiling as the small girl looked up at him with big eyes, “So many things.” He started to kiss her again, this time his hands going down to tease her clothed clit. She moaned into the kiss and rocked her hips down harder into his hand. “Please?” she moaned again.

He moved her panties to the side, sliding a finger through her wetness, “You need something don’t you?” She nodded her head.

“Well, use your words.”

“Touch me.” she got closer in his ear, “Please.”

“What’s with the niceties little girl? You don’t want to be touched, no, Good girls like to be touched. You, you are a desperate little slut, hm?” His fingers dipped into her with no warning, curling immediately, “You want to be destroyed.”

Her hips bucked almost instantly as she cried out, “Yes. I do.”

“Beg for it.”

“Sir,” she opened her eyes to lock with his, “Please.” Spencer continued to curl his fingers while still rubbing her clit, and her moans and breathes got sloppier and louder.

“Please!” she whined. “Please sir.” He couldn’t contain a small laugh, “No.”

“This is a bit pathetic even for you, no? You’re here naked in my lap begging for me to let you come.” She nodded her head. “Oh but I’m sure you’ve done worse haven’t you love?” She shook her head. As badly as he wanted to lecture her about lying, he could feel her tighten on his fingers. “Can..” she stuttered in between moans, “Can I? Please let me come?”

“Awe, good girl asking for permission.” he pulled his fingers out, “No.”

He slipped his fingers in her mouth and watched as she sucked them off. “Figures you’d be good at that.” he unbuckled his belt, pushing his pants and lied back so the door supported his back. “Come sit on it.”

Her eyes opened in delight as she crawled over and did as she was told. He watched in awe as she sunk herself down onto him, clenching as their thighs met. He let her think she had some control, eyes never leaving her as she bounced and moaned. “You’re such a good girl baby.” He could see her teetering right above the edge, and seeing as he was so close as well, he gave in. “Come for me.” and with that, she did. Practically screaming as he fucked up into her through her orgasm, pulling out and finishing himself.

He hugged her into his chest, whispering small praises and delivering soft kisses to her sweaty forehead. She made small circles with her nails on his arms, “I fucked a doctor!” She giggled.

Spencer broke out into laughter, “I fucked YOU.”

“We fucked each other.” They laid there for a moment, Y/N practically melting to the feeling of being in his arms. It was too comforting.

Eventually, Spencer began driving back to her apartment, loving every moment of her outlandish singing and dancing in his passenger seat until he parked to drop her off.

“You’re a very special girl.” Spencer said as she smiled.

She took a deep breath, “Spencer, I fucking like you. A lot. I can’t remember the last time I had a good time like this that I wasn’t fucking high or drunk or both.” she continued to ramble, “And I guess what I’m just trying to convey is-”

She was cut off by Spencer crashing his lips to hers. “I know what you mean.”

She smiled and gave him one last peck on the lips, “I hope I’ll see you soon Dr.”

“You will.”

As she walked back up the stairs to her apartment, Y/N only had one thought. How am I gonna manage to fuck this up?

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#spencerreid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fanfiction #spencerreidsmut #spencerreid x reader smut #spencer x reader #reid x reader #spencereidxy/n #criminalminds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fandom #criminal minds reid #reid criminal minds #reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #reid x you

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donquixotehomura · 3 years

Text

Endeavor x Reader All Is Fair In Love And War

This fic includes a hell of a bad writing shit show so sorry for the bad writing that you have to go through, I can't stand my own writing lmao, Endeavor is kinda OOC I think.. Idk, I get stupidly poetic at some points and I have weird wordings for some things, Hella long and boring, This is a fucking K-Drama

Bruh like I had about a month to write this but I procrastinated till the last day having only a starter with 2.5K words and wrote the rest in one day, a total of 11K... Bruuuuh if anybody reads this I'm sorry for your time and the cancer.

TW: yandere themes, blood, gore, descriptive violence, toxic relationships, heartbreak, death, offensive language, cursing, just a lot of bad triggering stuff, mentions of suicide, name calling.

This is during the Endeavor redemption Arc about two weeks before Endeavor VS HighEnd/Hood after that Manga spoilers start.. If you get to that point tho, you're close to the end congrats you made it.

Reader is an independent person with a strong personality, she's strong willed and arrogant, you can say she's a more mature Bakugou with common sense lmao

This Will Contain Manga Spoilers

You yawned in boredom trying to stay awake, your eyes briefly glancing at the person who's currently speaking to all the pro heroes sitting in the room, hero commission meetings weren't only boring, they were also a waste of time you could've been patrolling and stopping villains saving civilians, but no you had to go to a different city for the meeting 'didn't these old hags and geezers hear of online meetings? We could've saved a lot of time if we didn't have to come here, what is this the 21st century?' you thought as your eyes drifted towards him, the guy who easily made your cold heart beat erratically.

Endeavor sat there not showing any emotion other than his normal intimidating expression his presence was impossible to ignore with his aura and signature flames, you could tell he didn't want to be here either but he did his hero work dutifully, your eyes trailed over his strong arms that were crossed over his chest, what made it even harder to look away was the fact that he was wearing a suit which is a rare occasion but the meeting was formal, the fabric strained to stay intact, you felt that of he flexed or took too deep of a breath the fabric would just tear apart and the buttons would go flying off, you kinda wished this would happen as you let your thoughts wonder.

How it'd feel to have those hands caress your body, to hold you tightly as he lifts you up supporting your weight, how his musculare arms would be wrapped around you as you ran your hands all over his musculare chest, you let your thoughts wonder as your eyes drank him in basically undressing him, you craved him, everything about him, not just his body, his mind, his soul, his heart, his love, you internally sighed, it's not like you both had any chance of that anyway, you snapped out of your trance feeling someone's eyes on you, looking up you realized it was Endeavor himself who was staring at you, you knew you were caught red handed and there was no getting out of it so you went with it and just smirked at him, sending a small wave.

You weren't a shy or meek person at all, you don't easily back down and your arrogance often put you in bad situations, like this one right now were your having a staring competition with Endeavor, a few silent words being sent between you both including him telling you to stop eyeing him up and focus on the meeting and you refusing and questioning why he's staring at you, your silent conversation would have went on if Aizawa didn't nudge you telling you to focus hey gave him a glare "don't tell me what to do" you growled and he just ignored you, looking back at Endeavor he was focused on the meeting again.

You sighed and put your attention back on the speaker but your attention wasn't at him, you started thinking about Endeavor and yourself, your memories together, even tho that was a distant memory.

Flashback

You panted running as fast as you could, the sun was blazing down on you with no mercy, you were sweaty and tired after an hour of this 'dammit dammit this is bad this is such a pain in the ass' "(y/n)! It's over you know!" you heard him call out behind you and started willing your body to run faster, you were almost there, just gotta- your eyes widened as he ran past you at an inhuman speed at this point "dammit! Oi get back here!" you yelled after him as he ran past the line and stopped, he stood there arms crossed staring at you triumphantly as you passed the line and put your hands on your knees panting, you looked up at him and stood up straight, he was panting and sweating as well, him having more stamina than you definitely proved to be useful in this situation "I win" he said smugly and you weakly glared at him half heartedly "damn you, how the hell do you have so much energy after all this training? It's so fucking hot!" he chuckled "I'm used to the heat little vixen" he smirked and you huffed "right right, so what should we do now?the rest of the class is still way in the back" you said straightening up as he smirked helping you and lead you to the benches "let's wait for them here it'll take them along time before they catch up to us" "true, we are the strongest in the class after all"

(character introduction by Mic)

Todoroki Enji Quirk:Hell Flame, he can create fire out of nothing and manipulate it to his will, it's useful in long ranged to short ranged attacks, while it's a very versatile quirk it has some dangerous drawbacks such as hyperthermia and burning the user. (we know the details ya'll.. Hehe... We're all Endeavor bitches here.... At least I know I am)

(L/N) (Y/N) Quirk:Demon Queen, she can transform into demon like creatures fully or partially (think Mirajane from FT... Even she has nothing to do with me coming up with this quirk) the demon form boosts her durability, strength and speed, she can also create shadow like substance that comes from her skin (this one is heavily influenced by venom yet I had the idea for a longer time and it worked in a different way), while the demon form is close ranged and strong in combat the shadow is long ranged and more versatile and can be used for sneak attacks, it is however weak against fire types which makes for a very interesting combat against Todoroki Enji.... Oi Shut it!.... Oh yeah she is also very hostile!... OI!, she also has phschokinesis and Telepathy

(I tried leaving the quirk blank as I hate it when authors apecify the quirk but I had to when I needed certain abilities for some parts... Sorry guys)

Enji chuckled "indeed" he sighed and looked at you as you threw aside your gym jacket remaining in your sports bra and gulped down some cold refreshing water "damn, sensei is really making us go through hell and back recently" you said stretching "well we're in UA after all, they're teaching us everything important" Enji said as he followed your every move, glancing at him you smirked "like what you see Enji?" he blushed slightly and got closer to you "so? What if I do? Can't I admire my beautiful girlfriend?" he said pulling you into his chest, while you both were sweaty it didn't matter to you, you smiled at him and pecked his lips (you're kinda tall ok, I assume he was shorter than this in high school) "oh I don't mind at all, as long as I get to admire my handsome boyfriend in return" exchanging a few kisses both of you were even more breathless now, just as it was getting more heated the idiots (your classmates) started arriving at the finish line, annoyed, both of you parted and glared at your classmates, while they were non the wiser as to why they were being glared at by the two most terrifying and powerful students in all three years of UA classes, they were deeply terrified and avoided you both in favor of keeping their lives.

"aright class that's it for today, as always Todoroki and (L/N) are ahead while-" you didn't really listen to the teacher talk and looked at Enji "so where should we go tonight? I wanna have some us time before the exams, we'll both be busy, especially that our agency has weird ass timings for summoning us" you said sighing "well there's a festival and it'll start tonight, maybe we can go I know you like those things, even tho they're filled with people" he said, you hummed thoughtfully then smirked at him "you mean I'll get to see you in a Yukata? I'm definitely in" he grumbled and sighed "yeah yeah, very funny, I don't get what you like about me in Yukatas anyway I look ridiculous" you chuckled "actually I love seeing you in a yukata you look very hot in them" he glared at you unamused "very funny (Y/N) very funny, you do know you'll have to wear a kimono as well right" he smirled as your expression turned into a mortified one "hell no" "its tradition my dear you'll have to wear it" you sighed hanging your head down, as the teacher dismissed the class "fine" you grumbled annoyed making him laugh in amusment " so cute I'll see you at the gates" he said and walked towards the boys showers "OI who are you calling cute pyro? I'll kill you!" you yelled after him and he only chuckled in amusment at your outburst "I swear to God that jerk has a death wish" you grumbled heading into the girl's showers, meanwhile the entire class stood there watching the same thing that happens everyday that they should be used to it by now but every time they all gawk at your interactions like people would at a very unnatural show at the circus "guys... What kinda relationship do these two have? Are they supposed to be lovers?" one guy asked bewildered "I mean... I think? They're both demons all the time so I think this is demon love?" said one of the girls "this is so odd... They interact like they want to rip each other's throat out" said another girl "I'm too tired for this man, let's just go change and leave, I'd like to go to my very easily understandable life at home for toady" said one guy and everyone else agreed as the crowd left.

They have the right to think that your relationship is wrong and very odd, after all neither of you would show their true self in front of them, your affection and love is saved for behind closed doors, both of you are too proud and care about your tough image to show affection infornt of others.

These were the good times, neither of you knew what was coming your way, and how it'd shatter your relationship

That night both of you showered and showered and got dressed as you were doing your makeup you felt arms wrap around you "hey there" you said looking at your boyfriend in the reflection of the mirror "hey my love" he said making you blush and he chuckled at you "you done yet?" "nope, still have to do my hair" you said while putting on your eyeshadow, he humed and grabbed your brush and started styling your hair "hey... What are you-" you went to object by he stopped you "helping, I'll do your hair while you do your makeup, we'll be done faster" he said and you sighed "fine, just don't make me mess up" he hummed not answering and continued styling your hair, somehow you both worked in harmony and easily.

A little after you put the last touches on your makeup he was done putting up your hair and put a golden hair pin in it, one that you haven't seen before, you looked at your hair and at the pin fascinated by it "wow, this is... Really beautiful" you stood from your chair and turned around looking at him with a smile as he blushed lightly "I saw it and thought of you so I got it" he avoided looking at you in the eye you went up to him and kissed him gently "thanks love, I love it" he smiled pulling you in a hug, as you helped him with his Obi (the belt) he looked at you with such admiring look "what?" you asked feeling nervous from the staring "nothing, nothing at all just watching my hell queen" he smirked at you and you hid your face embarrassed 'damn him, knowing how to fluster me' "sh.. Shut up" he laughed pulling you to his chest as you both stared at each other's eyes exchanged a few kisses (your lipstick has sealing agent OK? OK).

A couple minutes later you parted, putting the last few touches you grabbed your stuff, phones, keys, wallets and went to the festival, throwing comments at each other like always, arriving at the festival you looked around watching all the stalls and couples and friends going around, it was too crowded which was a pain in the ass for the both of you, but you decided to ignore them and went around, gokmg around, trying foods, sweets and playing games, you getting extremely pissed at some people here and there, a lady in particular who was sticking her nose in your business "you know for a lady, you sure do have a filthy mouth" Enji said smirking "shut it ashes! She pissed me off" you said still angry "I don't mind, you're cute when you're angry my vixen" he said smirking making you blush and narrow your eyes at him "Todoroki Enji if you fear for your life you better stop fucking calling me cute" you said glaring at him, he put his hand on your head patting it slightly "there there, don't be like that I was just joking" you pushed his hand away and huffed, "you're on thin ice Endeavor" you said "is that so (H/N)? Well I better be careful then" he said pulling you to him, he was really warm "yeah you better" you said calming down and getting lost in his eyes as he leaned down kissing you.

Both of you slipped away to an abandoned side of the festival to.. Uhh... Stargaze yeah that... Nah ya'll did the horizontal tango.. Except it was vertical, as he held you up, your back on a tree for support. (I suck at writing smut.. Go to the festival smut Enji fic, I don't remember what the exact name was but the content is, you and Endeavor are dating, go to the festival, then hookup on a tree cause you ain't wearing panties, you aren't wearing them here either)

The festival went well You both had fun and teased each other competing over who's best at winning games and ended up going home with a lot of prizes.

Good memories are the best you can always look back at them and smile, but if you've lost the person you made the memories with, then they just become a painful slow poison that flows through you, slowly killing you.

It was during your work studies as third years when it started, you both went to the same agency, while the pro you went to was the top, he wasn't exactly a good person, extremely misogynistic bastard, who's ego is too fragile to admit a woman can be strong, which is why he despised you, like a snake he kept poisoning your boyfriend, filling his head with what he knew would get to him, tricking him into thinking you're using him, that he's getting weak cause he depends on you to have his back while fighting, like a devil on his shoulder he keeps telling him more and more lies, he made sure his plans are effective by firing you from his agency so now, student you had to find herself another agency, every agency in the same area accepted you by looking at your records, yet once they saw the name you were denied, you didn't understand why and remained without an agency for weeks which was bad for a third year, you found out that it was because of him he either bribed or scared all the so called pros from taking you, till one who didn't give a shit about him accepted you, the problem was, that you were four cities apart from Enji, which put the long distance strain on your already strained relationship.

It was a sunny day, unlike the cliché it was dark and stormy and raining, you both met after a long time apart, and while your convo started calmly, it quickly escalated to a full blown fight.

"YOU LEFT ME! YOU DECIDED TO GET AS FAR AWAY FROM ME AS YOU CAN! FOUR CITIES? WHAT THE NEARBY CITIES RAN OUT OF HEROES?" an infuriated Enji yelled at you, with the distance and how grueling the work was, you two didn't have anytime to meet at all, "Enji calm down for fucks sake! Allow me to explain I didn't have the time-" he interrupted you furiously "didn't have the time? What you're done using me? After everything! After everything that happened, how I trusted you, how I confided in you, how I always fucking ran to you when I needed someone! You don't even call anymore either! Not even a phone call, What you're bored of me now? You found someone else? Of course you did! You can't keep your legs closed you slut" you slapped him hard your hand hurt but it didn't matter, your heart hurt worse.

If only he listened, he'd have known it wasn't your choice to go so far.

"how dare you! How dare you accuse me of cheating you asshole! I'm always loyal to you because for some fucking reason I'm in love with you! You think I didn't try to be around you more? You think I didn't deprive myself of sleep for days just to take extra shifts and have the time to come back here for you? How can you claim to love me if you won't trust me? Did you forget what we went through together? How I always stood by your side nomatter what? You're a selfish greedy bastard who's only capable of loving himself!" you yelled angrily at him.

If only you knew, if only you knew, that this isn't his thoughts that this isn't his opinion.

Both of you not backing down both of you boiling with rage that's going to burn down your relationship like his beautiful quirk, that you loved so much and thought fit him so much, with his attitude and how he's always going forward like an out of control fire, he always seemed like a God of the sun to you, now his quirk was making him into Hades himself, king of hell and death, the one who shall drag you to hell to torment you for your sin of loving him.

"you're so fucking bold pretending to be a Saint! You're a manipulative bitch, You think you can just walk all over me woman? You're beneath me! There's no reason for me to stay with someone like you, who's going to set me back I don't love you this was all a mistake! An illusion I've lived in for so long" your anger disintegrated morphing into heartbreak and sadness, you two fought a lot, and while calling you a cheater and a slut hurt, you still had your love, you would forgive him like you always did, and likewise he'd forgive you like he always did nomatter how bad you both went against each other yes it was toxic, but both of you were broken, and this is how you functioned... But saying he doesn't love you is what actually broke you, what cemented this argument as the worst of your relationship, the end of it.

He seemed to realize what he said albeit too late, still arrogant you refused to cry in front of him "I hate you! We're over Todoroki! I wish I never knew you! I despise the day we met! I curse the day we became friends, you can go to hell!" and still arrogant Todoroki didn't try to take back what he said, and refused to show his hurt over you saying how you hated him and his existence, how this brought back some unwanted memories." great! Then We're over! Thank God" he yelled and marched past you.

Both of you broken, both of you saying things you shouldn't have said 'please comeback! I love you! I forgive you' you internally cried clutching your heart.

'just turn around, fucking turn around, go back to her she's your safety, go back to your angel.. You stubborn arrogant bastard!' Enji scolded himself, looking back he saw you walking away, head hung low, he knew he hurt you, as he willed his body to follow you, reaching out a hand he almost called out for you 'she makes you weak' he heard the pros voice in his head 'she's going to drag you down' 'she's using you' and although he knew non of this was true, he didn't call out for her, he turned around and continued walking, having the same internal fight with himself.

'comeback to me please! My sun!' turning around you looked at his retreating figure willing to calm out for him, yet to stubborn and too hurt to let word out, seeing him still walking away with such anger and intensity in his posture and such determination, determination to what? 'to get away from me? He's that eager?' your tears fell as the pain inside you grew, turning around you ran away, away from him, away from his pain, from his burning love that always felt welcoming now feeling scorching hot like it'll burn you to ashes.

Five seconds

Five seconds, was the difference between them, if he looked at her retreating form for five more seconds he'd have seen her turn around with a broken and longing, loving look.

Five seconds, if she's looked at him five seconds earlier she'd have seen him with his hand outstretched for her

Five Seconds

After hours of walking around aimlessly they decided to go home, well Enji did (Y/N) went to her friend's apartment which she had the key to, Enji sighed seeing the empty apartment they both shared, their home together, after going about their day like zombies doing their homeworks, training, studying like they're on some sort of auto pilot, they went to bed, alone for the first time in years, it really downed on them then, it's over, their home was gone, they both broke down, home was with their significant other, home was were they felt the love between the two of them, as they both cried alone, showing their hurt and weakness.

After hours of crying and begging for the other to come back, they both stared at the ceiling sending a curse to the heavens that broke them, that decided they didn't suffer enough in the past but had to suffer more, as Todoroki Enji looked at the small velvet box he was clutching onto, he opened it looking at the beautiful (gem) ring that he planned to give to her.. Well if she said yes of course "which you would have, wouldn't you my vixen", meanwhile said woman was curled in her bed unable to shed anymore tears, clutching her stomach she let out a dry chuckle that turned into a sob "it's OK my little angel, I love you, I'll always be here for you, sorry daddy won't be around, he's not a bad father I swear, I'm the bad mother, he... He doesn't even know you exist.. I'm sorry I know... He would have loved you"

Untold secrets, surprises that'd have brought laughs and tears of joy, brought pain onto two poor unfortunate souls that night.

END FLASHBACK

You sighed remembering these memories brought a heaviness on your chest, your refused to think about it anymore, otherwise you'd cry, now that would be hard to explain, why would the demon queen hero cry at a.... 'wait what are they talking about?' you thought focusing on them "while there's a massive increase in crime after the events of Kamino ward a couple of months ago in a lot of these areas there's a considerable drop in crime in these areas, we think it's due to the hero agencys there, as the zones are where the Endeavor, (H/N), Hawks, Edgeshot Miruko and lot more agencies and work areas are" 'ah right, crime stats, we're at that stage means next stage is... A word by the mentioned heroes... Great I wanna go back to kicking villain ass already, I have such high status cause I was doing my work not sitting in meetings.. This shit is useless, and seriously? You think? Of course it's because All Might retired AND was revealed to be a skeleton.. Haha... OK it's not funny... Nah it is... Speaking of which... I'm assuming Endeavor is pissed from becoming the top by default... Damn I hate becoming Two by default... Well damn... Would you look at that... Were where we promised No.1 Hero Endeavor, No.2 Hero (H/N)... Things didn't go as planned.. But we got there haha... FUCK! '.

You directed your eyes back at Endeavor, it hurt, really hurt, hearing on the news that he have been married, you really thought you could reconsile, yet he was avoiding you like the plague, like he hated your very existence, at first you decided to let him calm down and get his thoughts together, then you got busy with your child, after about a year his avoidance to you sky rocketed, he went from not looking your way for more than a couple seconds to totally ditch the room you are in the second you walked in, you pushed the thoughts to the back of your head and focused back on the speaker, and it was time for the heroes to speak, so Endeavor went first, speaking about efficiency and tactics and sidekicks, yadda yadda 'damn I forgot... He could be so boring sometimes... He's lucky I love listening to his voice anyway' you smiled slightly, not exactly listening to what he's saying more like listening to him, next was Hawks a new kid basically which wasn't here either 'heh kid can't even get to a meeting-oh dear I didn't just-... Fuck.... Damn kid is good tho he rose to the top real quick, good for him, if he keeps that up he'll pass All might himself... Now wouldn't that be cruel to Endeavor... And to me... That's gotta suck.. A kid surpassimg me? Heh yeah right' focusing now on other things to distract yourself from your memories you made a mental note to try harder somehow, maybe take on new districts, you were next, after making a comment about how you don't really like making speeches you went on and gave a small (kinda) speech, (can't think of anything) arrogantly expressing how good you are and how it'll just get better, you threw a few comments about being efficient and throwing shade on the other speakers while smirking at Endeavor who glared at you.

Later

"damn I am glad this is all over, I was starting to get a headache" he sighed walking out "it wasn't like you were focused (H/N)" you heard from behind you, turning around you came eye to eye with Endeavor, well chest even tho you were wearing heels and already tall, he towered over you (bruh like I'm 6'1... He ain't that much taller than me lol.. He intimidating tho) "well hello to you too Endeavor, what makes you so sure I wasn't focused?" you said crossing your arms, his eyes did a quick scan of you, you wore (idk choose what you want just make it formal, I hate when authors tell me what to wear lmao...) while you did the same to him" well you were too busy checking me out " he said crossing his arms as well, both of you not backing down 'as always' both of you thought.

"I wasn't checking you out, I was just looking" "for what exactly?" he narrowed his eyes "I don't know, to see if you're still in one piece, especially after all the madness that is Hosu and Kamino, that was kinda a bad situation while I was there in Kamino I wasn't in Hosu, All For One is a nightmare but Stain.... Its said he froze everyone with his blood lust" you smirked "well I handled it" he said growling "yeah I fucking saw that" you said "so.... How's it going? Other than the Hosu thing what did you do recently? And Kamino of course" you asked, he looked at you for a second as if thinking you're not serious about asking him but he sighed seeing you're serious "well, Shoto came to my agency for the internship, the school allowed first years to do them because of recent events" "right the USJ attack" you said.

"I heard through a trusted source that him and the green haired kid and the Iida kid are the ones who beat stain actually, right?" you said looking at him "how did you-" he was shocked then sighed "yeah, they did but because they didn't have their hero license they would have been expelled so it had to be covered up someone had to take the credit, and it happened to be me, I hate taking fake credit" he said annoyed "yeah, I know you always wanted to be the best by your own standards" you said and he looked at you with a soft expression, 'you always know me so well huh, can't believe some bastards actually think I took the credit because I wanted the fake glory' he thought while admiring you 'even after all these years' he sighed, you felt his gaze on you, as you fell into silence, trying to avoid the awkwardness you changed the subject "by the way Shoto doesn't seem like the type of kid to break the rules like that, and wasnt he supposed to be with you?" you asked and he hummed "the other two went there first then the Midoriya kid texted Shoto his location, he just left me on the street and ran there" he said shaking his head, you laughed slightly and nodded "yeah he seems close with that kid, especially with the sports festival fight" you said then suppressed a laugh "what?" he narrowed his eyes at you "nothing you're just kinda.... Funny.... SHOOTOOO" you said trying to copy him but breaking into laughter before that "OI... That's not suppossed to be funny" he grumbled "whatever you say" you said taking your breath.

You looked at him expecting him to be at least annoyed by your antics, yet he had a soft relaxed expression, you smiled at him "what?" you asked softly "nothing, it's just... It's been a while since I had a good conversation with someone" you smiled "really?, well good to know I'm up to your standards" you said, you two chatted for a while after that as you walked around the streets.

Endeavor couldn't help but crave you, your heart, your Love, your body, he wanted it all back, "and then that vigilante kid jumped into my fire to get the woman that was controlling the bees, I can't believe these vigilantes" he continued with the story you nodding "well it is reckless and out of the law to be a vigilante so I'll have to agree with you" you said as you both walked around, both of you having your hero suits with you, well... He just activated his quirk burning the suit to reveal his hero one underneath, now that shocked you for a second, while you (idk however you guys wanna do it, my OC has a pretty small suit... Kinda revealing lol.. So it doesn't take much space.. Can be carried anywhere... She also had it under her clothes.... Its kinda like League of Legends Jinx.. Kinda not totally).

You both attracted a lot of attention, and as always he just ignored them, you'd just wave at a random person, not out of accepting their over excited idiocy, but because you enjoyed watching them fall to the ground from how they're over reacting 'hehe.. Vixen' you thought, as he was telling you another story a bank alarm went off, both of you rushing there to stop the burglary but as you got there the thieves were all on the ground passed out, you both blinked in confusion, with your reaction time you should have gotten here fast "And next time think twice before breaking the law, because you'll find me in your way everytime, and it'll be over before you know it" yelled the hero that stopped them, flames engulfed her in a similar fashion to Enji's, her hair being on fire as well, her hero suit seeming to be the same as him except hers has the top half like a top showing her entire middle and arms, it worked in favor of showing her toned abs and biceps, while it'd have been inconvenient in the cold for anybody else, her flames eliminated that possibility " Fourth Rank Hell Queen Hero Inferno" Endeavor said looking at her "oh?.. ENDEAVOR SAN what brings you to my district? Oh and (H/N) too what a surprise.... wait what're you two doing together?" she asked jumping and landing infront of you two, standing at a height identical to Endeavor himself "pleasure to finally meet you, flame hero I gotta say you're my role model, we have the same quirks you see? You inspired me to become a hero" while you stared at both of them.

Endeavor heard what he always heard from his fans yet that girl wasn't being a fan girl, she spoke with bride and arrogance, she really meant her words yet she was professional and wasn't being an ass kiss like others, he took her outstretched hand shaking it "glad to hear it, more importantly glad to have a fan who can actually speak and use her brain" he said and she chuckled and smirked "damn must be my lucky day, getting such an acknowledgement, anyway what're you doing around here? You're kinda far from your agency, are you on a mission of some sort? Need a guide?" she asked "did neither of you really turn off your falmes on your hands?" you mumbled, both of them seeming to hear you they looked at you "flame heroes" said Inferno "(H/N) you're aware I'm fire proof right?" "right" you said wondering how she made him agree with her so fast.

"anyway... Why the hell didn't you attend the meeting?" you turned to her and asked her, she sighed "I was busy, every crook in the city lost their damn minds today" you said "it's mandatory to attend Inferno you could have left them to your sidekicks" she sighed "jeez Okaasan chill, I couldn't leave, my sidekicks are taking care of some things, there's just that much chaos around" she crossed her arms "right right still-" "besides if I went I would have just had to sit there while you ogled at Endeavor anyway" "OI! ZIP IT KID!" you yelled then glanced at Endeavor who gave you an amused look "wasn't staring huh?" he smirked "don't listen to her" "oh so you did~" she teased "NO!" "yes she did" "oooohhh damn" "shut up, and you need to catch up on what was said in the meeting" "you can brief me later woman" she sighed "ne Endeavor San you were there as well right?" Endeavor looked at her " I was" "great maybe you can brief me too, ne tell me, not that I'm complaining but you don't talk to people that much, yet you're holding such along conversation with me, why's that?" Endeavor seemed surprised himself "me and your mother knew each other a while back we were just talking and then ran into you" he answered and she nodded Satisfied "wait... Mother... You knew Endeavor and didn't tell me? You could have let me meet him years ago!" she said " well we didn't talk for a while.. A few years that is" and as the conversation went on you guys stepped away from the scene, a totally different thought going through Endeavor's head and a similar yet different thought going through yours 'Okaasan? She's her daughter huh...so... Back then... '

FLASHBACK

A couple weeks after the fight they graduated high school and both of them focused on thier careers, she never came back to their apartment, they both had worked part time jobs and full time in summer since middle school and saved up, getting a good head start to their rent and the bills they'd have to pay, they'd have to work during UA and it'll be hard but they'll manage, as long as they get away from those hell holes, the ones they were raised in, wouldn't even call it home... It was hell, and they both escaped it into this haven they shared, well.. Not anymore.

As time went on, and as he realized how stupid his mentor is, it is true he depends on her on the battle field alot, but she depends on him too, they're both the power couple of the hero world Endeavor and (H/N) with how similar/opposing/complimentary their quirks are, they can deal with any situation with speed and efficiency no one else is capable of, he realized how he was a Fool for listening to his mentor, with a determined mind he left the agency after the day was over, walking in the cold weather, wasn't any trouble to him with his quirk, yet it brought a smile to his face thinking about her and how she loved (or hated if that's your preference) the winter, and the snow flakes, how even if she isn't cold (or cold) she'd still hold on to him wrapping her arm around his waist as he wrapped his around her shoulders, he smiled at the memories of them together, 'damn... We have a memory associated with everything' he sighed.

Buying her favorite flowers, a gift that he knew she'd like, at least he hoped she would with how mad she'd be at him, and a speech of apology that he prepared and embarrassimgly practiced, and the ring 'just in case' he thought 'just in case it all goes well, and I spontaneously propose I have the ring' he smiled, he really didn't mind if he'd have to beg for forgiveness, he acknowledged that he instigated the fight and escalated it while she was on the defensive, while he didn't let her even talk, he loved his Persephone and he'd throw away his ego for her.

Arriving at her house he sighed, it's been over a year, it shouldn't have taken me so long he thought, as he sighed going up the small steps and raising his hand to knock, he saw something that made him freeze on the spot, like his blazing quirk was replaced with ice, through the window by the door, he saw his beloved, as beautiful as ever with a child in her arms, an infant, a very small one at that, she smiled at the baby in her arms as she cooed softly for it, he couldn't see them clearly but there was someone sitting on the other side of the couch, 'no... That's not it, she's just babysitting or holding the baby for one of her stupid friends' he thought trying to convince himself that it's not true, as his thoughts raced he was interrupted by the cries of the child, he watched them again as she pulled the child closer to her chest giving it her nipple as it started feeding and stopped crying, it hurt hurt like having every bone in his body broken, hurt like he overheated himself 10 times over, hurt like acid running through his veins, with all the pain and heartbreak all common sense escaped him, that the child may be his, it looks like it's a couple months old, he failed to notice that the shadow of the unknown third party is her annoying cheerful friend who for some reason have always been at their home, she didn't even chatter with them she would just stay there with them. (best friends be like... Your home is my home too ha).

Turning around he walked down the steps, his fury so intense that his quirk burned uncontrollably disintegrating the gifts he brought for her, except a single red rose that he had added to the flowers collection ironically due to a comment about his hair from her, the red rose had Slight burns on it and it laid on top of snow covered in ashes.

Five Seconds

Five seconds, If you looked at the window by the door five seconds earlier you'd have seen him.

Noticing a sudden brightness that disappeared outside your friend looked at you questioningly, the light seemed to grab your little girl's attention as she stopped crying becoming fuzzy as she twisted around in your arms reaching her hands up curling her hands in a graby motion, you shushed her as your friend went to check.

Walking outside (F/N) saw the rose and the ashes she realized what might happened, and as she contemplated it she realized that if (Y/N) finds this she'll be broken again, she'll go after him and he won't even let her explain, they'll fight again and he'll abandon her again, seeing her broken for the first time was painful enough, she sighed picking up the rose and tucking it away in her jacket creating a wind draft that blew the ash covered snow away "what is it?" came your voice from being her "is something out there?" you asked looking at her "no... Its nothing" she said closing the door.

Shrugging you went back to calming down your baby "you look so much like your daddy, my sweet little burning flame, my Kouen" you sang to her softly putting her to sleep, she had her dad's hair and eyes, she was stubborn even as a baby, she was born prematurely and heavily underweight, which is why she looks so small for a 6 months old, the doctors told you she might not make it but as you spoke to her daily in the incubator, telling her to fight and live, she kept fighting and you managed to return home with your baby, your reminder of your lover, such an amazing thing you two created, oh how you wished she met her dad, how you wished to see him carry her "you are looking for him aren't you? You're wondering where daddy is, God you'd have been such a daddy's girl" you cried as you talked to her.

If only... If only he rang the bell that day, if only your friend told you what she found then maybe, maybe it'd have gone differently.

END FLASHBACK

By now you had walked to Inferno's agency and went to her office (look ya'll gonna be having some conversations that don't belong in the streets OK? OK)

"So Okaasan?" he asked "hm? Oh right, (H/N) is my mother, what didn't tell him you got a kid... Damn that's cold" "hush "Endeavor San did she tell you about me?" "she didn't" he said looking at you "it didn't come up" you said, "oh OK then... if that's the case allow me to reintroduce myself, the Hell Queen Hero Inferno, daughter of the Demon Hero (H/N), no clue who my dad is tho, never met the guy" she said shrugging, "Inferno, that's enough" Endeavor seemed intrigued "you never met your father?" "nah never, mom says it's complicated" she shrugged, both of them looking at you "what?.. What do you want? I'm not opening this subject again Kou" "Kou?" Endeavor looked at her "ugh dammit woman! The Name's Kouen or Kou-Kun, Kou sounds too soft and childish" she crossed her arms "Kouen, enough" "Kouen? Like flames or prominence" Endeavor asked "hm? Oh yeah like that she wouldn't tell why she named me that either, gotta have to do with my flame quirk" she said emphasizing on it by manipulating her flames, turning it off as well.

"see? I do have hair I just choose to keep it on fire" Endeavor stared at her, now without her flames he can see her more clearly, the red short hair on her head, not a shade different from his own, her sapphire eyes that had the same shine to them, her facial features while feminine yet harsh, resembled his own way too much, the confident posture, the way she talks, somehow.. Somehow his same attitude, "interesting... so if you don't mind me asking how old are you?" he said "oh I'm 28 mom had me at 18.. Kinda irresponsible don't you think?" "irresponsible indeed" he said and she nodded turning her flames back on " yeah, she said she knew my quirk since I was born, good thing she went after my fire quirk not Demon Quirk, as you might know I have a hybrid quirk, her Demon and Flame, would have been weird" she said (Her quirk is a perfect mix, she has the perfect hybrid quirk) "agreed, so (Y/N) care to join the conversation?" Endeavor said looking at you who was standing there silently, you sighed "yeah, going the fire way was the right call" "you guys are on first name? Damn what'd I miss?" she asked "Kouen dear... Care to go over there for a sec? I need to talk to Endeavor about something" you said using your authoritive voice, even tho it was rarely effective "why? What do you wanna talk to him about all of a sudden that's a secret?" "Kouen please.. Now" you asked again "Inferno, care to give us a moment, I have something to ask her too" Endeavor said and she looked at him and sighed "sure thing, I'll be over there, just yell for me when you're done" with that she walked away.

Endeavor looked at you questioningly crossing his arms "so you have a daughter, a flame quirk daughter who's 28?"

You looked at him quietly, guilt and anxiety filling you " yes.... I do" you sighed "and she doesn't have a father, never met him and you never told her who he is" "I didn't want her to go chase him, in case he didn't want her, I didn't know... What he wanted" you sighed looking down, taking a deep breath you looked up at him, instead of anger or anything of the sort you saw patience, and hope "is she..." he asked, not dating to complete the question in fear of disappointment in case if the universe is just that cruel to him "she's your daughter" you said "I was pregnant, that day.... I was going to tell you... But then we had that fight and I just... " you took a deep breath "I didn't know what to do, whether to tell you or not, not like you'd listen to me anyway, you started avoiding me after that" he sighed "I did, God... I can't believe that I... Missed Twenty Eight years of my daughter's life.. Yet again... It was my fault" he said looking to the ground "Enji no... It was both of our fault, we should have listened to each other, we've always been so.... Aggressive and hot headed, we dug our own graves basically I should have told you maybe... " "I knew" he interrupted you.

"what?" you looked at him, he hung his head down, taking a deep breath he looked at you, regret and pain in his eyes "I went to your house, over year after it all ended, I nearly knocked but then...then I saw you, sitting there with someone next to you, sitting there with an infant in your arms you looked so happy and content, with some other guy, with his child, Cobra's (your work studies Pro) words ringing in my ears, that you're not loyal to me, that you used me and didn't love me."he said looking at you" even... I even went to you that day cursing him and his teachings, his false ideals, cursing what he did to us, you know I found out he fired you? He told me that you quite" he said "God you're such an idiot you know that?" you sighed then looked at him "I know" he said looking at you "wow he even admits it" you smirked.

"That day... When you saw another guy with me... You didn't really see them right?" you asked he looked at you confused shaking his head "thought so, well that was (F/N) she was staying over to help me take care of your very fuzzy stubborn ass daughter, damn she's stubborn as hell as you can see" "I should have checked, I should have known, I KNEW that you're loyal to me, just I should have asked you" he said, his flames all going out "man you really deserve a slap for all this, or a punch" you sighed shaking your head "you're right, I do, you can go ahead I was a terrible boyfriend, an even worse father to her, and to my other children he said taking a deep breath closing his eyes and opening them again.

"later, not in front of your daughter.. Now why don't you go introduce yourself?" he looked at you shocked "what? You're not mad at me? At all?" "No, I'm not..we've already spent so long mad at each other, look where it got us, let's just throw away all the anger and just... Live, and you're not off the hook yet... your next mission is to go to your daughter and tell her you're her dad, to be fair I do have a lot of the blame, when she was a child she connected the dots, how we were in the same year and how she's basically a copy of you, and the quirk.. God... She didn't even ask she straight up Said 'Endeavor is my dad' and I spent the entire day proving her wrong... So it's not only on you and damn is that kid smart" you said crossing your arms sighing.

he looked at you in shock "so she knows?" "pretty sure she does, she's just pretending to have bought my lie" "right" looking behind him he looked at her, she was standing at the other end of her office looking at you both intently, waiting for this 'talk' to be over, Endeavor signaled her to come over and she walked to you guys "sooo... That looked deep... This isn't a business talk at all... Looked personal" Kouen said she stood in front of you "no it isn't" you said "Enji?" "more first name basis? Wow" she said looking at him "Inferno... So I don't even know how to say this, and I'm terrible in these things but... Look Me and your mother used to date in high school, we broke up, due to my mistake and.... I'm your father I know I haven't been there for you at all, I don't have the right to ask you to forgive me but I'll try.. I'll try to be the father you imagined me to be a hero that you're proud of- huh" not letting him even finish she hugged him "I've always been proud of you, that's the first thing I told you when we met dammit" she said holding on to him tightly, "you didn't know, when I met you today I knew it's my chance to reveal who I am to you, that's why I told you all that ya know? I ain't that chatty with people" Endeavor stood there not knowing what to do for a second he was shocked, but slowly he wrapped his arms around her, pulling you close as well the three of you stood there just holding each other.

The heavens are done punishing him, the heavens are done punishing you, apparently now... Now you can be together, even if it's a bit complicated.

TIMESKIP

Kouen met Shoto and apparently they both bonded, in some weird way, Natsou and Fuyumi as well "well we lived in the same house as him yet we didn't see him so there isn't a difference between us at all" Natsou scoffed "Natsou that's not appropriate! Come on" Fuyumi said "it's OK, Fuyu don't worry about it" Kouen said "he's stating his opinion" they all talked for a while before Kouen had to excuse herself "sorry guys I have to go, I have a meeting with Hawks and Dad in Kyushu, you guys are going to your mom right? Want me to drop you off?" she asked "no it's OK we got it" Natsou said "You don't wanna be late for meeting up with Hawks right Ne-chan?" Fuyumi teased making the older girl go red "O...Oi shut it... I'm going to meet dad not that fried chicken" he flames turning on Fuyumi giggled as Natsou wiggled his eyebrows "ah huh right right, more like a hot fried chicken" Natsou said "JUST GO ALREADY YOU TWO" she yelled making them laugh at her while she marched away from them using her flames she propelled herself forward flying to Kyushu (ya know like FIRESTORM in Flash and Legends).

LATER

The attack goes the same with addition to Inferno helping in slowing down high-end when Endeavor was temporarily down, put getting tossed onto buildings as well, and her helping with the flying up cause she's fire proof unlike Hawk's feathers, she separates right before he turns hood into a mini sun, in her fall she notices Dabi in the distance, yet when She lands she ig ores it to make sure dad is fine first, cries tears of joy when he's standing, goes to him and is ready to smack a hoe whne Dabi shows, he isn't fazed until Miruko shows up like what happened in the Manga.

TIMESKIP

A couple weeks after, Endeavor leaves the hospital, While Kouen didn't have the same injuries as him she got a pretty bad hit which endangered her life, the heavens decided to be merciful again and let her live and walk out there with HIM "you know, mom is going to kill us right?" Kouen said, Endeavor shook his head "that's what I'm dreading" he sighed making her laugh at him as they both went home, Endeavor still lived at his house but he'd come to their house from time to time, now he went their cause (Y/N) said she'll take care of her two heroes "after she kicks their asses she means" Endeavor muttered as they reached the house, as they got in (Y/N) told them to rest, not five seconds later they both had to dodge the chancla (lmao) "dammit woman!" they both said simultaneously "nuh uh, you two don't get to sync on me! And you two don't get to get THAT injured on me" smacking both their heads hard she returned to making the food as they complained about her hitting injured people.

You sighed making them their dinner, normal homemade ramen for Enji, a death penalty of spicy ramen to Kouen, you smiled softly hearing them talking about how she's too rough on two injured heroes in the line of duty, sighing your thoughts drifted to his other kids and his wife, yes you knew their story, yes you knew what happened but you couldn't help but feel you're stealing him from his wife somehow, like you're the bad person, but yet again what happened to you two wasn't fair, the cruelty of the universe stole him from you so you shall steal him back, you're fighting a war, a war with destiny, and you shall win, it's fair right? Yeah it is, you grinned its all fair when it comes to love "it's all fair in love and war my love~".

After dinner was served you guys just rested all day, with them both asking you for stuff "I swear to God you two sound like whining 5 year Olds" you said getting them another thing, five minutes later they were about to ask you something "next one who asks for something ridiculous I'll break another bone of yours!" you threatened shutting them both.

"love you" both of them said and smirked at you

"fine what do you want?" dammit.

TIMESKIP

The window opened as the mysterious figure climbed in through with ease, looking at the peacefully sleeping woman, with hatred, she looked so beautiful, so perfect, so disgusting!

The figure grabbed the woman with ease covering her mouth, as she struggled she couldn't break free, she couldn't move, they were so strong, everybody peacefully asleep, unaware of the horror that's happening, looking at her attacker her eyes widened, she was in shock, her attacker smirked, the white haired woman tried to scream but she couldn't, the gloved hand that covered her mouth wouldn't let up "hello Rei-San" said the (h/c) woman with a sickeningly sweet smile, "you might be wondering why am I here... Well... Let's just say this... After so many years... I've been reunited with the love of my life and I won't let anybody get in my way... You are an obstacle, unfortunately for you... I'll have to get rid of you" you sang as you knocked over the base that held the beautiful withering flower "what a shame.... You were also doing so great... But you had a sudden psyche break.... And you decided to... End it all... End the pain" you sang sweetly, using your quirk to control her, her struggling stopped as she got up quietly, tearing down object after object, throwing around such precious letters that she had, pulling her hair, scratching her self, she looked down grabbing the broken shards of glass, she looked at you with hopeful puppy eyes, too sweet innocent, with such fear behind them, begging you to let her go, you nodded go ahead and she smiled "yes Master" she said in a sweet obedient voice, looking back down her hands, she brought the glass to her wrists and started cutting, cut after cut after cut till her arm was covered in cuts, then her other arm as tears slipped passed her fearful yet giddy eyes, her white clothes were covered in beautiful crimson color, her legs were next, looking at you again "come on baby.. Don't be afraid, it'll feel good I promise~" she smiled again, grabbing the pen from the floor she held it tightly in her hand making a string fist, pushing it full force she stabbed her eye, pulling it out she looked at you "master" "it's OK baby go ahead~" you smiled in approval, with a grin she aimed the pen again "thank you Master" she said in her cute obedient voice sending the pen through her other eye, pulling it out she dropped it to the floor "Master?" "I'm here. My sweet pet.... Now sit there like a God dog" "Hai" "dogs don't talk.. Hmm... Oh I know... We can just.." Raising her hand with the glass she stuck her tongue out, pushing the piece of glass through she cut through it till it was off, vocal cords next, somehow knowing where to cut exactly, reaching the glass she started cutting through them, choking on her blood and beading out, she sat there obediently, as blood and tears fell from her eyes, "good girl... Now.. Die" she sat there for a couple more seconds then dropped dead, drowned in her blood and having bled out, as the crimson surrounded her, you almost felt jealous " don't worry my little puppy, you can keep (F/N) company in hell hehehe~"

Going out the window like you came in, leaving no trace at all of your existence you smiled as you looked at the moon "my beloved is mine now... And mine alone"

TIMESKIP

You were sitting in the living room watching the news, this being your day off, you looked up at Enji and smiled "hey my love, come join me" he smiled at you, drying his hair having just came out of the shower, he only had pants on, as you admired his strong muscles he sat next to you, giving you a sweet kiss unlike the passionate ones you usually shared "you looked at him and smiled "what? You seem to be in a very good mood today did something happen?" "it's nothing" Enji answered looking away "I just... I'm happy... I got you back my Persephone" he said making you giggle "my beloved Hades, I'll always come back for you" cuddling closer together you decided to find a movie or something to watch.

Later

You both just sat there, watching movies, and messing around... Doing some adult Tango, you were both just relaxing when Enji's phone rang, you both ignored it for a while but then he looked at it due to the persistence of the caller, looking at it he saw Shoto's number he answered "SHOOTOOOO" you put your hand on your mouth to cover your laugh "what is it?" "come to mom's hospital quick" came Shoto's panicked voice "what?.. Why what's going on?" "I don't know, I came to visit her but they won't let me in, there are police cars around, they're saying I shouldn't go in there" "OK... Calm down... I'm on my way" hanging up he got up to get dressed, you looked at Enji "what is it?" "I don't know, Shoto called from the hospital there's something wrong" he said sighing "SHOTO'S AT THE HOSPITAL? Is he hurt? Is one of kids? Was it another villain attack?" you panicked, he smiled, God he loved how you worried about these little kids it made his heart flutter, then shook his head "no they're OK, they're at Rei's hospital, he said they won't let him in and there's police cars around" you looked at him shocked "shit... Is Rei OK?" you asked "I don't know that's what I'll have to figure out" he then looked at you weird "wait... Did you just ask if Rei is OK? And with such concern?" you huffed "we're actually friends just so you know" you crossed your arms "is that so"he said watching you get dressed" yes, we talk a lot.. I go there when I have time... I'm coming with, I wanna make sure Rei is alright" "alright then hurry up" you glared at him as you quickly got dressed "well excuse me my suit isn't as easy as yours" soon you both left for the hospital, one unaware of what awaits at their destination, the other playing her act very well.

Later

Arriving at the hospital the three kids were standing there anxiously as the fourth was trying to calm them down "guys, come on it may just be because of the recent villain attacks and all that" Kouen tried calming them down, the second you two walked in they all ran up to you "Oyaji make them tell us what's going on in here?" Shoto started immediately " I got this, calm down, where is the person in charge here?" walking up to Rei's doctor after spotting him "what's going on here?" he asked him "what's with the police and preventing the kids from going in?" the Doctor looked at them with a sad and devastated look, "sir, there was.... Something happened yesterday, during the night, we're not sure what may have triggered her but-" the Doctor was evading, getting impatient Natsou stormed past the guards taking them by surprise unable to stop him, like a domino effect, he was immediately followed by his siblings, and Enji and you, reaching the room first taking a look inside " Okasa- huh?" he froze, a look of terror in his eyes, "Natsou what's wrong?" Shoto reaching him second he looked inside and like his brother he froze, Kouen was next seeing the scene before her she was shocked, snapping out of her trance just in time to pull Fuyumi's fave into her chest to stop her from seeing, but she got a glimpse, and it was enough to throw her into tears "w... Wait.. What.. What was that? O... Okasan?..what" as Kouen hid her sister's face both you and Enji stared in shock at the scene before you, the scene seemed to be out of a horror movie, a nightmare the the silence was deafening, till a scream of pain erupted from Natsou, followed by Shoto, and Fuyumi, your tears just falling silently "Rei... What the hell" you looked at the doctor grabbing him by the collar "what the hell happened here!" you glared at him, it wasn't a question, it was a a demand for and answer "she... She did that" he fearfully admitted "what?" "the hell are you talking about?" as he now got attacked by the questions of everybody each yelling and screaming and demanding answers "I don't know... We found her like that in the morning, she seemed to have some sort of psyche attack, it's undetectable, it happens to a lot of people from different ages, and lives and jobs, she destroyed everything around her then did this" he fearfully let out "destroyed everything? That must have made a lot of noise, why did nobody check on her?" Endeavor asked glaring at him "I don't know, I wasn't here at night" "then who was" Inferno asked glaring at him "I don't know.. I don't know" "there isn't a single drop of blood in some of the scattered things, the ones further away from her, the destruction was done before she bled, meaning if you Checked the commotion you'd have caught her before she did anything" Inferno stated, while that increased the chaos, it wouldn't change anything, she's gone.

At the funeral, a lot of tears were shed, a lot of pain and anguish, a lot of perfect acting, a lot of comfort for the hurting friend, that lost her new friend, a lot of comfort from her beloved.

If only, if only on that day (F/N) told you what she found, then Rei would have lived, then these kids would have been yours, if only she spoke, then she wouldn't have been in hell with Rei.

FLASHBACK

"(Y/N)... Come on stop..." your friend struggled, "then tell me, what're you hiding" you said, holding her tightly "I'm not hiding anything" she said struggling to get away, your quirk was way more superior to her air manipulation, she could only manipulate small portions, while your demon quirk did a lot, "yes you are" you said, using your quirk you put her in a trance, "confess" "It was my fault the dog got out, I left the door open" "dumb bitch, Kouen will kill you" "yeah, but I'm more scared of you, you'll kill me of you find out" you narrowed your eyes at her "if I find out what?" "that I didn't tell you... About Todoroki" you looked at her now curious and angry "what about him? (F/N)" fear filled her eyes "that he he came here" "WHAT?" you see in shock "the hell did you do? Why did you never tell me?" "because he left, he saw you with Kouen, he saw you with the baby, I think he thought it isn't his and that you moved on so he left, when I went out to check that flare of light, I found ashes, all over the snow, I found a single half burned red rose, so I hid it it, I hid it all, I knew you'll run after him, I knew you'll fight and that he'll break your heart again I couldn't" she said crying, you looked at her with anger and hate "so he came here! Before he moved on, before he married and you didn't tell me, that's why he started avoiding me so much, he thinks I moved on from him, now he's married, and has two kids, my chance is gone.. Because of YOU" you yelled in anger releasing your control "please I was just trying to help-" "silence!.... 7 years! 7 years I could have had him! 7 years we would have lived together! And for more years to come! You're a fucking whore! What were you jealous of me? For having a lover? While nobody even looked at you?" you yelled "that isn't it! I was just" "just what? Worried about me? I've always fought with him, that's how we always have been, you tried using your brain, that's the problem (F/N) you're a stupid bitch who ruined everything!" your friend cried "I just tried to help" she got up to leave but froze, your control on her again "now where do you think you're going?" you looked at her smiling maniacally "we're not done here"... 5 months.... 5 months you tortured her, 5 months for the 7 years she took away from you, you would have went longer, but she was too weak, and died.

If only

If only, you didn't try to play the hero, General studies trash 'if only you trusted my strength and told me what happened... Then we wouldn't have gone through that'

END FLASHBACK

Everybody went home that day, depressed, questioning what happened to her all of a sudden, the havens are really cruel huh... They had to take such a delicate loving woman in such a cruel way, as each one of them ran to their lovers for comfort, one woman was in no need of comfort, for she was a demon in human disques.

TIMESKIP

This is after the Endeavor hero agency arc, after the Ending attack.

Man you felt tired, it's like you were frozen but it was quit the opposite, you layed on the ground coughing as blue flames surrounded you "how sad... Hero" you heard the teasing voice of Dabi "you really are weak.... Don't deserve your rank at all" he said pinning you down sitting on top of you to prevent your movements, "look at you.. So pathetic" "if you're gonna kill me then do it already, a hundred other heroes will take my place, and bring you down" you grunted and coughed out blood, Dabi looked at you shocked for a second then laughed maniacally "man that is good... That is good (H/N) they usually, beg for their lives by now.. But no actually, I'm not doing this to stop the heroes.. I'm doing this to hurt him" he grinned you looked at him shocked "what?" "well killing you will hurt Endeavor badly, I'd have gone after the one that looks like him but it's harder to fight fire with fire I have other plans for her anyway I need her alive for them.... oh? Don't tell me you don't know? Well I'll explain to you, before you die you have the right to know anyway.... " ya'll insert his reveal and the message that was broadcasted by the hacker guy it's too long to type and this is too long already.

" so... As you can see here... Dear beloved woman of my father killing you will hurt him, and her, her flames of revenge will burn bright, as she tries to kill her mother's killer, would she have the heart to kill her dear brother? Would dear dad let her? Would he stop her? Or would he join her? Would his perfect creation Shoto take his brother's side? Or would he take the side of a half sister he just knew and a father that he despises, what about Natsou... And Fuyumi too... Oh and Okasan you know it's wormg to try and steal a married man? Well I'm not one to judge...hahaha.. A lot of possibilities here, too sad you won't live to see them" as he spoke he started burning, stronger and stronger, by the time he was done it was excruciating, "you're... wrong" you coughed "huh?" "you're wrong Touya" you smiled at him, a maniacal smile rivaling his own, paralyzing him... "What the hell is wrong with that woman? She's insane" "you made a big mistake Touya~" you sang his name, he froze 'the hell?' "what the hell are you talking about? Why aren't you screaming in pain? Why aren't you dying!" "hahaha hahaha the thing is... You just threatened my darling, and I just..... Can't let you live to do any of that haha haha" you laughed pushed him off, fear crawled up his back, paralyzing him, as you walked closer to him, the flames burning your flesh you just grinned at him "wh... What are you!" "me?... I'm the demon dero my dear... What exactly did you think demon hero meant?" he leaned down towards him "those who fought me, and were worthy, got to see it, my other form" you laughed looking at the scared Dabi "don't worry it's not that baad~ my beloved Enji saw it before, he said it's not scary" you grinned as your form shifted, into a much taller creature, it was covered in shadows, eyes glowing red, sharp massive teeth glowing "demons are made of fire Touya~ we don't burn in fire, we strive in it, we crave it!"

Dabi stared at the demon in fear as the demon reached its claws for him, just before he was grabbed, a portal opened suclimg him in, the demon screamed in anger, losing its Prey, its OK.. However... It'll get its chance again someday.

After All

All Is Fair In Love And War

Right?

"...... After All Touya is such a beautiful name~" Dabi or Touya sang as he danced on top of Machia "come dance with your son in hell Endeavor"

"... I really enjoyed what I did to Hawks actually... It was very satisfying"

Meanwhile the broadcast explained everything, including the illegitimate child of Endeavor, and the scandal with Endeavor and (H/N)

As Enji just froze, and Shoto fought, Kouen was torn between her revenge and her brother, her family... They wouldn't want her to kill Touya.

As the battle progressed she made up her mind, she'll get revenge, for Her lover, he hurt Hawks, he destroyed his quirk, he tarnished his image, he nearly killed him, he put him in pain and suffering.

It wasn't fair, what happened to him, but she'll fix it. She'll kill Dabi for him.

After All

All Is Fair In Love And War.

END ?

DAMN FINALLY!

(I don't specify a gem as you can choose your fave as I prefer rubies due to their intense red color... With a black band instead of silver.. Introducimg my dream ring lmao... Also in Japan proposals aren't the same as in US and other similar countries but this was a more obvious way of showing the events)

#bnha #mha #bnha imagines #bnha todoroki #bnha x reader #bnha oneshots #endeavor x reader #endeavor #endeavor imagine #the colosseum server event #the colosseum #sweetbutpsycho #valentine's day event

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