#THAT WAS THE FIRST CORRECT THING BOROMIR HAS EVER SAID

[orcstricken]

THE WAY I BURSTED OUT LAUGHING

#the silence was so fucking telling #one does not simply walk into mordor #THAT WAS THE FIRST CORRECT THING BOROMIR HAS EVER SAID #everybody was like ????? lmao wat #shitpost. #tbd.

[lesbiansforboromir]

once again you made me deeply emotional over boromir. i don't have the fellowship (much less the english edition) at hand, so i can't even re-read my fav parts with him. any particular boromir-related stuff you may share?

FUCK ok I’ve got a migraine and a passion and I do not know how to use either of them but I’m gonna use this ask to talk about something I’ve been thinking about for months, not kidding on that one. 

Galadriel... was the direct cause of Boromir trying to take the ring- HEAR ME OUT. 

There are some very important things to remember about Boromir when you’re considering his actions and motives.

- He explicitly came on the quest assuming it would lead them all to Minas Tirith, because that’s where he needed to get back too. It’s very clear, he and Aragorn are literally going because Minas Tirith is on the way to Mordor. And every detour and every delay of the Company amps up his frustration and worry. 

- He left Gondor with the certainty that his city would be besieged VERY soon and that they would not be able to break it. His trip to Rivendell is desperation based in it’s entirety, he’s looking for anything that might help. 

- He knows absolutely none of these people from adam and whilst he very much wants to trust them, they have yet to win his loyalty or faith in ANY capacity. I’m sorry! I know everyone wants the Fellowship to be that good good found family foundation but it simply isn’t that for Boromir and never has been.

Okay so when they finally leave Moria and Gandalf’s dead, everyone’s grieving and miserable. They are also worried, Gandalf was their guide and as much as Aragorn’s a tracker he doesn’t have Gandalf’s expertise. Then again, Moria had been entirely Gandalf’s decision in the first place, claiming there wouldn’t be many orcs in there at all in an argument he has with Boromir about how dangerous the mines would be in comparison to the Gap of Rohan. Indeed, if Bilbo hadn’t given Frodo the mithril shirt then Frodo would be straight up dead and it would have been Gandalf’s decisions that caused it. 

So at this point Boromir’s faith in Aragorn’s ability is pretty low. And no one else in the Fellowship has any interest in leading. Boromir deferred to Aragorn’s judgement because Aragorn’s more knowledgeable of Eriador and also just... a dude who needs to be in control, it’s easy to tell. But now Boromir’s not so sure Aragorn’s up to it, since he seemed to rely on Gandalf so much. 

And then Aragorn tells them all they’re going to go through the Golden Wood. Now Boromir knows from the Rohirrim and Gondorian legend that the Golden Wood is Strange And Scary And Dangerous And Men Who Walk in Never Walk Out Again. And he says this, politely. Aragorn tells him he’s foolish for fearing it and essentially that if people got hurt in the Golden Wood then they deserved it. Again, despite the general discourtesy of these comments, Boromir chooses to believe Aragorn’s judgement. 

The next thing that happens is they are accosted by Haldir, treated like possible enemies or spies (despite Haldir admitting that Elrond had already told them they were coming) and a day and a lot of dwarfphobia later Haldir is threatening Gimli with death. No I’m not joking, Haldir says there’s a law dwarves can’t come into Lothlorien without a blindfold. And when Gimli gets justifiably angry about this and wants to go back if he’s being treated this way, Haldir says he WILL be killed if he tries to leave. Weapons are drawn! The only reason this de-escalates is because Aragorn suggests they all go blindfold because ‘it is hard on the dwarf to be so singled out’. I cannot express to you how soon this happens after Aragorn assures everyone that Lothlorien is safe. I also cannot emphasise enough how Gimli does absolutely nothing to deserve this, he’s polite and kind as ever until Haldir instigates it. 

So again!! Another mark against Aragorn’s reliability! And then we come to the CRUX of the matter, the meeting with Galadriel and Celeborn. 

A lot happens here, some of it very funny in terms of Galadriel’s treatment of Celeborn, but the important part is at the end where Galadriel mind-interrogates all the fellowship but Aragorn and Legolas. Again, this isn’t subtext, in-text it says interrogate. And the fellowship discusses it afterwards. Gimli, Sam, Merry and Frodo all agree that ‘Galadriel offered them a choice, to go back home where they would be safe, or to continue on with the quest though there may be far greater perils ahead’. 

But that couldn’t have been the choice she gave Boromir. Because he can’t go home to be safe and sound away from the evil!! He lives there!! This has been Boromir’s fight his whole life, it has never BEEN a choice for him. And from this moment on Boromir’s manner changes dramatically. He questions Frodo about what Galadriel asked him, he expresses concern about Galadriel’s motives, he says he believes she was TEMPTING HIM (remember that for later), concerns which are, once again, sharply and cruelly dismissed by Aragorn. 

There is then a MONTH of a time skip, we get descriptions of the how the other fellowship spend their time in Lothlorien. Gimli and Legolas become friends. Everyone else grieves Gandalf and has a lovely time in Lothlorien... apparently. 

But Boromir has never had any real positive feelings toward Gandalf and did not show any real grief at his loss initially. And whereas the rest of the fellowship seems respectful and awed by Galadriel and Celeborn, Boromir replies to their questions at the end of the fellowship’s stay in Lothlorien with what I would call veiled anger. `As for me,' said Boromir, `my way home lies onward and not back.' Which is a callback to the interrogation, the stark difference between the motivations and priorities of the rest of the Fellowship in comparison to Boromir. Which became VERY obvious to him in that moment. So I would posit that! Boromir did not have a good time at all! Boromir was stuck somewhere he felt unsafe and unwelcome and every extra second they spent in Lothlorien was yet another moment he was away from his currently-at-war home!!! 

Anyway just before they leave the fellowship is privately discussing what road they should take when Boromir makes a slip of the tongue, where he’d always been articulate and clear before. 

‘But if you wish to destroy the armed might of the Dark Lord, then it is folly to go without force into his domain; and folly to throw away-’ He paused suddenly, as if he had become aware that he was speaking his thoughts aloud. `It would be folly to throw lives away, I mean.'

It is very obvious to Frodo what he actually meant here, and this is where essentially Frodo’s inner monologue lays it all out!

Frodo caught something new and strange in Boromir's glance, and he looked hard at him. Plainly Boromir's thought was different from his final words. It would be folly to throw away: what? The Ring of Power? He had said something like this at the Council, but then he had accepted the correction of Elrond.

The important points in this section are that 1: Boromir has started thinking about the Ring of Power as something usable. 2: He did not think this before now, he had accepted Elrond’s words. This is ‘new and strange’. Something changed here. 

And of course it did! Boromir doesn’t trust any of these clowns anymore. 

Boromir’s advice, priorities and concerns have been almost entirely ignored and derided throughout the fellowship, even from the very moment he arrived in Rivendell! And after nearly freezing on a mountain, being chased by wargs, dragged through a mine of Orcs, a Balrog, threatened by supposed allies and then mind invaded by some elf he’s told to be in awe of, whatever will he had to trust and stay faithful to Aragorn’s decisions is barely hanging on. 

And Galadriel didn’t just invade Boromir’s mind, she was tempting him! He says so himself! And considering the circumstances and how he speaks about it, the only logical conclusion is that she is tempting him with the ring, because Boromir’s shown no sign of conflict or interest in the ring before now. So Galadriel was the one who put that concept into his mind in the first place. It’s Galadriel who initiates Boromir thinking again on whether this was in Gondor’s best interests. And Boromir recognises she’s trying to manipulate him!! Which is fucking heartbreaking!! 

'To me it seemed exceedingly strange,' said Boromir. `Maybe it was only a test, and she thought to read our thoughts for her own good purpose; but almost I should have said that she was tempting us, and offering what she pretended to have the power to give.’ (--)  `Well, have a care! ' said Boromir. `I do not feel too sure of this Elvish Lady and her purposes.'  `Speak no evil of the Lady Galadriel! ' said Aragorn sternly. 'You know not what you say. There is in her and in this land no evil, unless a man bring it hither himself. Then let him beware!’

Do you see?? Do you all see?? Am I making any sense at all?? Well I make sense to ME so lets continue- Here, you see how Aragorn puts all the blame on Boromir again? The twisted knot Boromir is in at this point is unfathomable and EVEN STILL! Boromir resists! For a very long time! This is what I mean when I say any characterisations of Boromir being overemotional or somehow out of control get at me so much, NEVER has a man had so much self discipline in his wholeass life. Boromir’s entire civilisation could be being bulldozed by Minas Morgul at this very moment and yet he takes everything that’s thrown at him without malice and internally continues to desperately hold onto his integrity. 

But that’s what’s at stake! His integrity! Because now he’s grappling with what seems like a choice to either keep faith with the fellowship, stay with them and go where they go despite how much his country needs him, or potentially do something drastic in order to bring a the powerful weapon Gondor seems to have ALWAYS been looking for home to finally actually save his people. Because that’s what Galadriel offered him! And whilst he doesn’t trust her, it’s also in his head now as a logical thing to want! He doesn’t trust Elrond either at this point, so why should he believe what he said about the ring! It’s obvious everyone has boundless ulterior motives!!

Oh! Here’s a good place to try and explain my theory of how the ring’s temptation actually works. The Ring can control people one of two ways. The first we see with Frodo and with Boromir, it takes FULL control of their actions for a split second when they are vulnerable. For Frodo it made him put it on on Weathertop. For Boromir it made him attack Frodo. However this effect is exceedingly temporary and the person effected immediately comes back into themselves and recognises that what they did was outside of their control. 

The other way is often thought of as this like pervasive constant pull to the ring that effects you even just by being around it, wearing you down etc. But I don’t think that’s what happens. I think, in order for the ring to start exerting real dangerous persistant power over you, you have to know it’s power and logically want it. You have to come to that conception yourself, you have to think about it. 

And I have a lot of reasons for this but where it pertains here-!! Boromir is a fine, reliable and solid member of the fellowship RIGHT up until Galadriel’s mind meld. It’s not gradual, he goes from making jokes, carrying Hobbits and fighting Balrogs to BARELY being able to control his speech and biting his nails and staring at Frodo creepily. There is barely any easing into it and it starts with Galadriel!!

And you know what! There’s an even more sinister layer to this because like... WHY was Galadriel doing this mind stuff in the first place? An immediate obvious answer would be to test the fellowship, to make sure everyone was solid enough to carry on, to ensure the folk who continued were focused. But... If that’s the case... and Boromir’s test was the Ring... like... he obviously failed that test right? She was reading his mind! And she does it again before they leave! If we’re to assume that Galadriel’s mind powers are greater than Boromir’s ability to deflect them then... surely she would have known! That this turmoil was in him! And if she KNEW then why didn’t she say anything to anyone? To Aragorn?? But I don’t think yall are ready for that discussion yet tbh and I have to stop typing or I’ll go blind.

TL;DR Boromir didn’t want the Ring until Galadriel tempted him with it and made the idea of it saving Gondor a possibility to him. 

#galadriel critical #boromir #erran vs tolkien #UGH that was good to get out even though I am CERTAIN it's incomprehensible #tolkien #lotr #gondor #I've got so much boromir meta built up in me cus I've been too out of it to do any real writing #and so many asks I wanna answer right!! #chats #HHHH #Anonymous

[rainydaymiddleearthimagines]

Destiny Calling: Chapter Seven

You all seemed lost, feeling this sense of overwhelming hopelessness. You were now leading the group, walking through the woods of Lothlorien. You after all, were the only one that actually knew the way. "Stay close young hobbits! They say there’s a great sorceress lives in these woods, an elf-witch of terrible power. All who look upon her, fall under her spell..." Gimli said, unaware that you actually shared blood to said "Elf-witch". "... and are never seen again." Gimli finished. Aragorn looked over, noticing blood seep through your clothes. "Y/n, did you suffer another wound outside of the scratch on your head?" He asked. "If you're referring to my shoulder Aragorn, I am fine." You said softly.

You stopped, the trees speaking of another presence outside of your group. "Well, here is one dwarf she won't ensnare so easily. I have the eyes of a hawk and the ears of a fox!" Gimli announced before meeting a guard face to face. Lorien guards aimed before a familiar face stopped them. "Princess Y/n." He noticed, all guards reattracting their weapons at the sight of you. "You found us." you said, seeming very calm. "The dwarf breathes so loud we could've shot him in the dark." Haldir said making you chuckle. "Haldir o Lórien. Henion aníron, boe ammen i dulu lîn. Boe ammen veriad lîn. (Haldir of Lorien, we come here for help. We need your protection.)" Aragorn said. "Aragorn, these woods are perilous! We should go back." Gimli huffed. "You have entered the realm of the Lady of the Wood. You cannot go back. Come, she is waiting." Haldir said. You all followed Haldir. "you seem very confident about your choice in leading us to this woman." Gimli muttered. You said nothing, walking ahead of him.

You climbed the stairs before standing before Galadriel and Celeborn. You bowed, Galadriel lifting your face. "You have matured since we last spoke." She said, smiling softly. "It is nice to see you again." You admitted. She nodded before looking at the group. Aragorn gave his proper greeting, making it clear to everyone that he too, had met her before. "Nine that are here yet ten there were set out from Rivendell. Tell me where is Gandalf? For I much desire to speak with him." She said. She looked in his eyes and paused. "He has fallen into shadow." She realized. "The quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little and it will fail to the ruin of all." She said. She looked over at Boromir who couldn't meet her gaze. "Yet hope remains while the company is true." She said. She looked at Sam and smiled. "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Go now and rest for you are weary with sorrow and much toil. Tonight you will sleep in peace." She said. You nearly walked off but Aragorn halted you. "Might we receive medical assistance? Y/n was struck in battle." Aragorn asked. "I have herbs in my-" "Come." Galadriel said. You sighed and walked off with her.

You looked over at Galadriel. "How are you taking it? Gandalf's demise?" She asked. "I think I'm in denial. It is almost as if my body just isn't reacting." You muttered. She nodded as you entered a small hut. "How did it happen?" She asked, wringing water out of a small cloth. "There was a monster, one of flames. We had to pass through Moria-" "We both know how dangerous that was Y/n." She scolded. "We didn't have a choice. Saruman betrayed us, if we had made for the Gap of Rohan, we'd be killed or worse." You muttered. She nodded. "Gandalf fought off the monster so we could escape. He... He fell so we would succeed." you muttered. Galadriel nodded solemnly. She touched the wound on your shoulder, you wincing. "You made it here. That is what counts." she said softly. You nodded, looking down. "Your mother would be very proud of you, you know." She added. You looked over. She began crushing herbs. "She would be terrified but still very proud." she said. You smiled slightly. "are you proud?" you asked. She turned, that soft smile reminding you of home. "we all are darling." She said. "I.." you cleared your throat. "I want you to know... I am proud to be your grandchild..." you told her. She put the herbs on the wound, wrapping it before she kissed your head. "I am proud to call you my grandchild." she said.

As everyone else sat around, elves could be heard around them, singing. "A lament for Gandalf." Legolas noticed, him pouring water into a small reflection pool. "What do they say about him?" Merry asked. "I have not the heart to tell you. For me the grief is still too near." Legolas answered. Aragorn noticed Boromir sitting alone on a tree root. He walked over. "Take some rest. These borders are well protected." Aragorn encouraged. "I will find no rest here. I heard her voice inside my head. She spoke of my father and the fall of Gondor. She said to me even now there is hope left. But I cannot see it. It is long since we had any hope." He admitted. He knew for a fact that if his father remained on the throne, there was less of a bright future to one day see. This fact had been haunting him since he picked up the hilt to Isildur's broken sword. "My father is a noble man, but his rule is failing. And now our…our people lose faith. He looks to me to make things right and I would do it. I would see the glory of Gondor restored. Have you ever seen it Aragorn? White tower of Ecthelion, glimmering like a spike of pearl and silver. It's banners caught high in the morning breeze. Have you ever been called home by the clear ringing of silver trumpets?" He asked. "I have seen the White City, long ago." Aragorn admitted. "One day, our paths will lead us there. And the tower guards shall take up the call: The Lords of Gondor have returned!" He said, clearly missing home. Aragorn opened his mouth to speak but saw you walking over. He walked over, hugging you. You didn't care about the slight discomfort from your shoulder. You hadn't had a real moment to breathe since you left. You hugged him back, him pulling away slightly to kiss your forehead. "Your wounds? How are they?" He asked. "They are minor, she believes them to be healed in days." you said.

He sighed. "You need to be more-" "What's the rule?" you halted. He sighed. "No telling Y/n what to do." He said. "Let us try and rest. We still have a long journey." you said. The group looked over as you sat down. "Are you alright?" Pippin asked. "Fear not Pippin, I am well." You assured. "Where are you sleeping?" Frodo asked. Aragorn cleared his throat to answer the question and you nodded your head in his direction. "Thank you Y/n.. For protecting me back in Moria." Frodo said. "I am only doing what I promised. I don't deserve the praise." You stated. "How did you meet the witch- woman?" Sam corrected. You chuckled. "Galadriel is my grandmother." you answered. "You're related to the witch?" Gimli asked, shocked. "She is my mother's mother. Very kind woman despite what many believe." You answered.

Pippin seemed confused. "Y/n... If your grandmother is here then why weren't you sent here instead of Mirkwood?" Pippin asked. "Father was most likely afraid of the path here... It was the same path my mother took when she was attacked." You said. Merry looked at you as you sighed, looking over at Aragorn who was still awake.

"Sleep." you told him. "I cannot." He admitted. "...You're joking. You seriously cannot sleep without me being there?" You asked. "Not fully, no." He admitted, making Sam crack a smile. "With the way you two speak to each other, you'd think you'd be lovers." Gimli sighed. You all froze, looking at him. "What?" He asked. "Nothing." Pippin said, resisting a strong urge to laugh. "We should rest." Sam said, also trying not to break. You moved to Aragorn, lying down next to him. He wrapped his arms around you, his breaths getting deeper as time passed.

The morning soon came, you and Aragorn being the first ones awake. You leaned up and stretched, tapping Boromir as you slid on your boots. He woke up the hobbits who (eventually) woke up Gimli. You all set off once more, Galadriel parting you with Earendil, their most beloved star. You all went off in canoes, riding down the river. You all were silent, Legolas and you both listening to the nature around you before reaching a pass. "Frodo, the Argonath! Long have I desired to look upon the kings of old. My kin." Aragorn said to Frodo, nodding to the large statues of the kings. You all finally reached the foot of Amon Hen, making camp while you rested.

"We cross the lake at nightfall. Hide the boats and continue on foot. We approach Mordor from the north." Aragorn said. "Oh, yes?! It's just a simple matter of finding our way through Emyn Muil? An impassable labyrinth of razor sharp rocks! And after that, it gets even better! Festering, stinking marshlands far as the eye can see!" Gimli huffed. "That is our road. I suggest you take some rest and recover your strength master dwarf." Aragorn said, making you smiled. Gimli seemed almost offended by the mere idea of him needing to rest. You looked up, alarmed by something. "What's wrong?" Boromir asked. "Something's coming." you answered. You looked around. "Where's Frodo?" you asked.

Frodo walked through the woods, Boromir noticing the hobbit as he was collecting firewood. "None of us should wander alone, you least of all. So much depends on you. Frodo?" Boromir commented. Frodo looked over, slightly alarmed by his presence. "I know why you seek solitude. You suffer; I see it day by day. You sure you do not suffer needlessly? There are other ways, Frodo, other paths that we might take." Boromir said. "I know what you would say. And it would seem like wisdom but for the warning in my heart." Frodo said. "Warning? Against what? We're all afraid, Frodo. But to let that fear drive us to destroy what hope we have. Don't you see that is madness?" Boromir questioned. "There is no other way!" Frodo said. "I ask only for the strength to defend my people! If you would but lend me the Ring..." Boromir tossed the wood aside, staring at the ring. "No." Frodo said, stepping back. "Why do you recoil? I am no thief." Boromir asked. "You are not yourself." Frodo answered. "What chance do you think you have? They will find you! They will take the Ring and you will beg for death before the end!" Boromir yelled. Frodo ran from Boromir, alarmed of the greed and darkness taking over the young man. "It is not yours save by unhappy chance. It could have been mine!" Boromir yelled before tackling Frodo. "It should be mine! Give it to me!" Boromir yelled. They struggled against one another for the ring.

"Give it to me!" Boromir yelled. "No!" Frodo struggled. "Give me… Give me the Ring!" Boromir yelled. Frodo slipped on the ring, kicking Boromir before running away. "I see your mind. You will take the Ring to Sauron! You will betray us! You go to your death and the death of us all! Curse you! Curse you! And all the halflings!" He said before falling. It was like a simple fall was all he needed to see reason. Regret instantly hit him. "Frodo?...Frodo?...what have I done?...please...Frodo!" He called.

Frodo ran off, reaching an area away from him. "Frodo?" You asked, standing there with Aragorn. "Huh?!" He gasped, meeting your eyes. "It has taken Boromir." Frodo said, clearly panicked. "Where is the Ring?" Aragorn asked. "Stay away!" Frodo yelled before backing away. "Frodo!" Aragorn halted. Frodo stopped. "We swore to protect you!" Aragorn said. "Can you protect me from yourself?!" Frodo asked, clearly frightened. He showed the ring in his palm. "Would you destroy it?" Frodo asked. You looked away, feeling this intense dread. Aragorn slowly approached Frodo though, ignoring the whispers of the ring, closing Frodo's palm and pushing it to his chest. "I would have gone with you to the end, into the very fires of Mordor." He said. "You will not yield me from your journey Frodo." You said. He frowned. "Y/n, I cannot ask this of you." He said. "Frodo, my father was the one that went with Isildur. He did nothing to stop him... I know I can do something so please. Let me." you said. He nodded slowly before you slid off your necklace, giving it to Aragorn. Aragorn shook his head. "Y/n-" "keep this as a reminder that someone is fighting for you. Always." you said softly. He clutched the necklace, before pulling a chain out from his pack. He took off his ring, sliding it onto the chain. "I will not take the throne without you. If I lose you, the throne will remain as it is." He said. "This is your only proof of your identity Aragorn-" "I know. Because without you, I cannot make my claim." He said, putting the chain around your neck. He gave you one last kiss, your heart filling with sorrow before you pulled away. "Look after the others, especially Sam. He will not understand." Frodo said before his sword started to glow. "Go on you two!" He said. You hesitated, seeing the finality in this choice. Would you leave your lover or stay and leave Frodo?

You shook your head, taking Frodo's hand and running. Sam searched the woods frantically. "Mr. Frodo!" He called before hearing swords clashing. Legolas and Gimli ran forward, Legolas shooting three of the orcs quickly. Gimli slammed his axe into one of them. "Aragorn! Go!" Legolas yelled. You sprinted with Frodo, trying to reach the boats as the orcs were ready to kill. You ran hiding behind a set of trees, Merry and Pippin looking at you with urgency. They noticed the orcs ready to follow you. "Run you two! Go!" Merry whispered before cupping his hands. You two ran off as Merry yelled. "Hey! Hey you! Over here!" He shouted, diverting attention away from the two of you. "Hey!" Pippin chimed in. "Over here!" Merry called. Pippin waved his arms. "This way!" Pippin yelled, running away from Frodo.

As you ran you heard three loud blasts from a horn, your heart dropping. This was it... Boromir's final stand. "The Horn of Gondor... Boromir.." you whispered as you ran. Merry and Pippin locked eyes with Boromir as he fought. "RUN!" He told them, fighting for his life. "Boromir!" Aragorn called, rushing toward the sound. Fear coursed through Boromir as he fought before an arrow hit his shoulder. Merry and Pippin stopped, looking at him in shock. Boromir fell to his knees, breathing hard as the pain seemed to overwhelm him. No. Not like this.

The orcs came closer, Boromir letting out a battle cry as a final stand. He stood up, stabbing an orc as he did. Another arrow fired, this time to Boromir's stomach. He fell again, still his will to live too strong for this as he got back up. He killed another orc, another arrow hitting you, this one being the final blow. Boromir fell to his knees, staying down this time. Merry and Pippin both looked at him. They knew this was it. That he would not rise again to fight. This was their friend that kept them safe. If he was dying, they were going to defend him till his last breath. Merry and Pippin fought, screaming "SHIRE!" before stabbing an orc or two.

You reached the boats, heart pounding as you were unaware of the dangers ahead of you. Then you felt it. A loss. A hit. You put a hand over your mouth. "Y/n, what's wrong?" Frodo asked. "Boromir has fallen." You whispered, hearing the trees tell you of the brave sacrifice he made.

Aragorn kneeled to Boromir. "They took the little ones." Boromir said weakly. "Be still." Aragorn instructed. "Frodo, where is Frodo? And Y/n?" Boromir asked. "I let them go." Aragorn said. "Then you did what I could not. I tried to take the Ring from him." Boromir admitted, his breathing getting weaker. "The Ring is beyond our reach now." Aragorn assured. "Forgive me, I did not see it. I have failed you all." Boromir whispered. "No, Boromir, you fought bravely! You have kept your honor." Aragorn assured. He reached for the arrows that were ailing his friend but Boromir stopped him. "Leave it! It is over. The world of men will fall, and all will come to darkness… and my city to ruin." Boromir whispered. "I do not know what strength is in my blood, but I swear to you I will not let the white city fall, nor our people fail!" Aragorn said, his heart in pain. "Our people?" Boromir asked. Not once had Aragorn even referenced his homeland or people... Boromir smiled at his friend. "Our people." He breathed, barely holding onto life. Aragorn put Boromir's sword in his hand, Boromir bringing it to his chest. "I would have followed you my brother, my captain, my king!" Boromir said before his face grew still. Your vision was indeed true. Boromir was dead. "Be at peace, son of Gondor." Aragorn whispered before pressing a kiss to his forehead.

You heard rapid footsteps, turning to land which you hadn't left yet. "Frodo!" Sam called. Frodo seemed spaced out, recalling a conversation that he had with Gandalf before Sam sprinted out from the woods. "Frodo no! Frodo! Mr. Frodo!" Sam frantically called. "No Sam." Frodo said, continuing to paddle. You opened your mouth but closed it as Sam sprinted into the river. "Go back Sam! I’m going to Mordor." Frodo yelled. "Of course you are, and I’m coming with you!" Sam replied. He trudged deeper into the water. "You can’t swim! Sam!" Frodo gasped. You watched Sam go under, forsaking your cloak as you dove into the waters and pulled up Sam.

You put him in the boat, you climbing in afterwards. "You are insane!" You breathed. "I made a promise, Mr. Frodo. A promise! 'Don’t you leave him Samwise Gamgee.' And I don’t mean to! I don’t mean to." Sam said. Frodo's expression softened. "Oh Sam!" Frodo wailed before hugging Sam. You smiled at the two friends before Frodo yanked you into the hug. You slowly hugged the two hobbits back, them clinging to you.

Gimli, Aragorn and Legolas gave Boromir a proper send off, laying him one of the boats with his sword and shield, his cloven horn by his side. The boat went off the side of the Falls of Rauros, falling to the mists below.

"Hurry! Frodo, Y/n and Sam have reached the eastern shore." Legolas called. Aragorn did not move. "You mean not to follow them?" Legolas asked. "Y/n and Frodo’s fate is no longer in our hands." Aragorn said, clutching your necklace that he was now wearing. "Then it has all been in vain! The Fellowship has failed." Gimli said. "Not if we hold true to each other. We will not abandon Merry and Pippin to torment and death. Not while we have strength left. Leave all that can be spared behind. We travel light. Let’s hunt some orc!" Aragorn said. Legolas and Gimli smiled. "Yes! Haha!" Gimli exclaimed. Aragorn ran into the woods, Legolas and Gimli following.

You stood on the hills of Emyn Muil, looking at the Dead Marshes and Mordor." Mordor. I hope the others find a safer route." Frodo muttered. "Strider will look after them." Sam said. "I do not think they will accompany us from here." You said, clutching Aragorn's ring. "I don’t suppose we’ll ever see them again." Frodo said. Sadness filled your gaze. "We may yet, Mr. Frodo. We may." Sam reminded. You smiled at Sam. Frodo turned to the both of you "I’m glad you’re with me." Frodo said to the both of you. You smiled softly, roughing up his hair before walking. "We have a long journey ahead of us." you said. "Think we'll see something new?" Sam asked. "Let us hope not." You said earning smiles from both of the hobbits.

You had no idea of the dangers ahead. Or how many events were to play out in front of your eyes.

#aragorn #aragorn imagine #aragorn x reader

[cosmicbug379]

Today, Life is Good

It is 12:26 am, but here I am posting this fic anyway because I’m impatient. Here we go, another Boromir fic but this one is happy! YAY! I did not proofread this, because that is who I am as a person and I should probably get a beta reader or someone to edit these, but here we are. I like this fic. It’s a bit longer, and I have a lot of feelings, but I liked writing this! I hope you guys enjoy it and I hope it’s not too long or too weird or something.

Fandom: Lord of the Rings 

Pairing: Boromir x reader

Words: 2560

Rating: T 

Warnings: mentions of injuries, pretty large portion takes place in the Houses of Healing, but nothing is too crazy graphic, suggestive language, mentions of sex (but no actual smut)

There was a long night ahead of you after the battle that had raged on Pelennor Fields and through the city of Minas Tirith. As a healer, you hadn’t fought in the battle, but now the wounded were coming into the Houses of Healing in droves and you weren’t sure how you would keep up. 

You helped everyone you could, but there were so many wounded, you knew that it would be impossible to save everyone. You worked your way through the soldiers, beginning with the worst of the injuries. There were many you recognized, men of Gondor who had fought for their home. But there were many you didn’t recognize as well. The people of Rohan had arrived to help it seemed, and you were sure you would have lost the battle without them.

You were helping one man with a head injury who told you that an army of the dead had arrived from the river, cutting down all the orcs in their path and even swarming and killing the Mûmakil with ease. You told him that perhaps he hit his head harder than originally thought, but then one of the Riders of Rohan who was close by confirmed the man’s story. He said that a man named Aragorn had left them at Dunharrow and taken the paths of the dead, later arriving at the battle with the Oathbreakers behind him. Part of you had never believed the legends of the army that Isildur had cursed, but if they had won the battle for Minas Tirith, you were glad the legends were true.

You kept working through the night, barely stopping in an effort to help as many people as possible. You heard someone shouting for you and you hurried over to find a man cradling an injured woman. She was hurt badly, she was barely breathing. You learned she was the princess of Rohan and the man cradling her was her older brother. You managed to pry Éomer away from his sister far enough to examine her. You weren’t sure that Éowyn would survive.

“This is beyond my skill to heal,” you said sadly, looking at Éomer. “We need athelas to even begin the healing. This looks like the Black Breath.”

Éomer wailed in anguish and you felt terrible, you had seen similar wounds on men who had come too close to the Nazgûl in the battle at Osgiliath a few days ago when the orcs had taken the city on the river. Those men hadn’t survived.

“I can heal her,” you heard a voice say behind you. 

Turning, you looked up at the man. He didn’t look like much, but you heard Éomer speak to him and say his name. This was Aragorn, the ranger from the north, raised among elves for a time and apparently Isildur’s heir. 

You stood aside and let him take over, rushing off to find some athelas to aid him in healing the woman. When you returned to Aragorn with the needed herb, there was another man standing nearby. You dropped the athelas and stared at him. It couldn’t be.

Boromir was there, standing right in front of you, very much alive despite what you had been told. When you didn’t hand the athelas to Aragorn, all three men looked your way. Aragorn just grabbed the needed plant and kept working, Éomer didn’t seem interested in anything other than his sister, but Boromir looked at you and your world stopped. He was here, standing in front of you. This was all too much. A combination of little sleep or food and the shock of seeing your apparently not dead husband standing in front of you caused you to faint right there in the middle of the Houses of Healing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn’t long before you woke up, and you hadn’t been moved far. Boromir had caught you before you could hit the floor and injure yourself. You sat up, looking around before spotting Boromir speaking to Aragorn next to you.

“This can’t be real,” you whispered.

Boromir looked at you and smiled, “It is real, my love. I promise you that.”

“You’re dead… They found your horn washed up on the banks of the river. Faramir was sure of it, so was your father. We thought we would never see you again.” 

“I am sorry you thought I didn’t survive, but I am very much alive and I would very much like to steal a kiss from my beautiful wife,” his smile grew, and you couldn’t help smiling yourself.

You kissed him then, trying to show him how much you loved him through that kiss. He responded in kind and held you close to him. You felt at home in his arms, you thought you would never feel this way again, thought you would never see him, but he was here and he was holding you.

“I should get back to work,” you whispered. 

“You need to rest. I spoke to Ioreth, she said you haven’t taken a break in far too long. You’re no use if you can’t even stand on your feet,” he said. 

You hesitated, but eventually agreed with him. You were exhausted, there were so many wounded and you had been working nonstop for hours. A small break would be alright. 

You held Boromir's hand tightly, like you were afraid he would disappear if you let go. He led you to a corner of the Houses of Healing that had been set aside for the healers to rest, guiding you to lay on one of the cots. 

"Don't leave," you said, maintaining your death grip on his hand. 

"I'm not going anywhere," he said with a gentle smile. "But I'm afraid if you hold my hand any tighter you may crush it, my love." 

You eased your grip on his hand and laughed quietly.

"I'm sorry, Boromir. I'm just afraid that if I let go of you all those nightmares will be true and you'll be gone. Pippin didn't even tell me that you were alive, I'll have to have some very stern words with him. Though, we barely had a moment to speak, and he's been following Faramir around every moment he got. I did hear him tell your brother that he admired you very much, so it seems both sons of Denethor are good at making friends with Hobbits," you said with a smile. 

"I am very fond of the little ones," he agreed. "I'm surprised Pippin didn't talk to you more, I spoke of you often." 

"I've been here most of the time. I was here when he and Gandalf arrived, but we didn't get a chance to speak. Ever since Faramir came back with the horn… I've been here, avoiding anything that reminded me of you," you squeezed his hand gently. 

"I'm sorry I worried you. The battle at Amon Hen was only 17 days ago, everything happened so quickly I didn't have time to write to you. And I didn't realize my horn would wash up on the shore for Faramir to find." 

“Only 17 days ago? So much has happened since then,” you trailed off then sat up quickly. “Faramir! He was hurt when your father sent him to Osgiliath, I couldn’t help him. It was the Black Breath, just like Éowyn! You must tell your friend to help him!”

Boromir hushed you and pushed you gently until you were laying down again.

“I will tell Aragorn, I promise. Our new king will not let my brother die if he can save him. Now you need to rest, my love.”

You had many questions, but your eyes were so heavy. You drifted off to sleep with Boromir beside you, promising he would explain everything soon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three days after the Battle of Pelennor Fields you had to watch your husband leave again for Mordor, and you were afraid none of the Host led by Aragorn would return, but they did return, twenty days later and they brought two more Hobbits back with them.

You spent most of your time in the Houses of Healing once again, but this time you watched over Éowyn and Faramir more than anyone else. Aragorn had taught you how to help them, using the athelas and changing their bandages often. They were both almost back to normal, and you found them together more often than not. You were happy for them, they deserved to be happy; they deserved to be in love.

When you heard the horn announcing the arrival of those who had gone to the Black Gates you ran out of the Houses of Healing, sprinting through the city to get to the Citadel before they did. They beat you there, and you stood, searching for Boromir among the many weary faces before you. When you finally did see his face, you called for him before running into his arms.

Boromir caught you with ease, taking a step back to steady himself. He smiled at you and kissed you the moment you were still long enough. You were out of breath from running to find him, but you kissed him back with as much passion as you could muster.

“You’re here,” you sighed. “You came back to me again.”

“I will always come back to you my love,” he whispered into your hair.

You stood together for a long time, holding each other tightly until finally you followed Aragorn and the rest of the Fellowship into the Citadel. There were two new Hobbits with the company, you learned they were Frodo and Sam. Both of them were injured and on the brink of death, you worked alongside Aragorn to nurse them back to health.

Sam was the first to wake, his injuries were not quite so severe and he had not been carrying the Ring for months as Frodo had. Frodo returned to consciousness only a few days after Sam, and you found you very much enjoyed the company of all the Hobbits.

Boromir finally got the chance to apologize to Frodo for trying to take the Ring, and everyone was given the chance to recover from the long journeys they had been a part of. 

You learned many things from Aragorn, and became a better healer. Aragorn was very skilled, and the prophecies of the Heir of Isildur having the hands of a healer were correct. 

When you weren’t in the Houses of Healing you were with Boromir and your new friends. You liked the entirety of the Fellowship, but the Halflings were your favorites. They were wonderful company and Merry and Pippin were always energetic and happy to entertain you. Frodo and Sam were more reserved, but you found their company calming, and you enjoyed having tea with them every day. 

Gimli and Legolas were the strangest pair; an elf and a dwarf who were good friends was unheard of, but you loved them just as dearly as the others. The elf was calm and calculating, but he was also warm and kind and fiercely loyal. The dwarf was much like the few other dwarves you had met; loud and daring, and protective of his friends. 

Gandalf you already knew, and you were glad to see him again and spend time with him. When he would come to Minas Tirith while you were still a child, he spent most of his time with Faramir, who was always eager to learn from him. He was a wise and powerful wizard, even more so now than before.

Most of your time, though, was spent with Boromir. You had missed your husband dearly, and you barely let him out of your sight. He seemed happy enough to spend time with you, never denying you the opportunity and smiling at you every time you asked. Sleeping next to Boromir was a relief; you hadn’t slept so well in months. You felt safe and secure in his arms and that first night he was home you slept the whole night through for the first time since he had left nearly a year ago. 

You opened your eyes slowly, it was early and you were still tired; Boromir hadn’t let you get much sleep the night before. You felt his arm resting across your stomach and you turned to smile and watch him sleep a little longer. He had a slight smile on his lips, and you wondered what he was dreaming about. 

“I can feel you staring, my love,” he mumbled, his smile growing.

“I can’t help it,” you replied. “You’re very handsome, you know.”

“So you tell me,” he said, opening his blue eyes. 

“I’m right. I wouldn’t lie about that.”

“I believe you.”

You smiled at him and kissed him deeply, pressing yourself closer to him. 

“Must we get out of bed today?” you asked sadly.

“I’m afraid that today it is very important we get out of bed, and soon. Aragorn’s coronation is today and it would reflect poorly on us if we were not in attendance,” he said, kissing your forehead.

You sighed heavily; you knew he was right, but you would much rather stay in bed with him all day. 

“Tomorrow we can stay in bed all day, I promise,” he said, as if he had been reading your mind.

“I suppose I can wait until tomorrow then,” you sighed. 

The coronation was a lovely affair; Aragorn was reunited with his love, Arwen, and all your new friends were there. Faramir announced his intention to marry Éowyn and they looked like they couldn’t be happier, in fact, Faramir looked happier than you had ever seen him. 

“Did we look so sickeningly happy when we announced our engagement?” Boromir whispered in your ear so his brother did not hear him.

“I’m sure we did,” you told him with a smile.

“Well I’m happy for them. I’m surprised it took so long if they were as close as you say in the Houses of Healing. We returned from the Black Gates over a month ago.”

“Well it probably took that long to convince her brother to allow it,” you said with a laugh. “Éomer still doesn’t look like he wants this to happen.”

“I suppose you’re right. It took nearly a year for me to convince your father to allow me to marry you,” he recalled.

“I remember,” you teased. “You asked him every day and when I finally found out you were asking I begged him to say yes. Finally he got so sick of both of us asking every day he agreed to allow it. I’m so happy he did; I’m so happy I’m married to you”

“I’m happy too, my love,” he smiled, pulling you closer. “And I’m even happier to be home with you. The world is finally going to know some peace, and we can be happy.” You nodded and pulled him into a corner to kiss him deeply. Boromir complied happily and pressed himself closer to you. 

“Perhaps, we could retire to our chambers early,” he whispered. “We could start trying to have children like we talked about before I left?”

“I don’t think Aragorn and Arwen will mind,” you smiled, taking his hand. 

The two of you laughed together, racing towards your rooms like two newlyweds; so in love with each other that no one else seemed to matter. 

Tags: @rzrcrst​ @opheliaelysia​ @rae-gar-targaryen​ @hdlynn​ if anyone else wants to be tagged in any future LotR fics message me or send me an ask or something, I will happily add you! Or if you don’t want to be tagged let me know that too! 

#lotr #boromir #lotr fanfic #boromir fanfic #boromir x reader #lord of the rings #lord of the rings fanfic #lord of the rings fanfiction #lotr fanfiction #boromir fanfiction #I REALLY LOVE BOROMIR OKAY

[shadow13dickpistons]

Uhhh do SHADOW for the ask meme

Oooh, what a fun idea!

Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

I had two asks with Ss in them, but no prompts! So, okay, there’s the obvious ones, (Aldarion spending so much time in Middle-Earth because he’s giving the D to Gil-galad, Sting as originally being a dagger for Idril), now I’m really scratching my head....OH! Here’s a controversial take and something I was thinking about today: Fingon and Maedhros not being married, because of the cousin taboo. 

Alright, alright, alright, so: Fingon’s rescued Maedhros, the rift is healed, yay everything. Fingolfin pulls Fingon aside and is like, “Son, you know I need you to marry. Preferably a woman.” Argon is dead; Turgon will have no other children beyond Idril; Fingolfin has the preternatural knowing that he will not survive against Morgoth - their people are going to look to Fingon. And what will he then do, marry his own cousin?? How can he do this, the Noldor need him. 

Yeahhhh, it’s angsty. All about how Fingon does what dad wants, marries a Sindar of Cirdan’s people, has Gil; but still goes to Maedhros at the drop of a hat (oh, they fuckin’). But yeah, the metas on why Russingon doesn’t violate the cousin taboo are valid, but imo, it’s impossible for Fingon and Maedhros to have any kind of happy ending, and I am firmly in the Gil-galad-as-Fingon’s-son camp. (This got longer than anyone expected.)

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., tv shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)

I’m not sure I entirely understand this question, what kind of fandoms do I gravitate to? Cause “source text” to me is, like......what sources do you site in your fan participation. If the former, idk, anything that strikes my fancy. The latter, specifically for Tolkien (because that’s all I care about anymore), I’m one of those tiresome people who prefers the books to the films, so first and foremost the actual text. For easy retrieval, I tend to use Tolkien Gateway, but about the only thing I strongly disagree on with that is their take on Gil-galad, so there you have it. The One Wiki to Rule Them All is good, not quite AS good for book stuff, but great for film and game stuff. (But then again they have the “correct” take on Gil-galad, so.)

A - Your current OTP(s)/OT3(s)/OTX(s)

-rubs hands in glee-

Okay, okay, okay. So.......this is just Tolkien. Cause that’s all I care about now. But, in no particular order (caps are “I will lose my mind over this ship,” non-caps are just “I like/write for it.”):

Aredhel/Eol

Beren/Luthien

TUOR/IDRIL

I....oof, look, it’s not that I LIKE Turin/Nienor it’s that.....I’m so compelled....like a fuckin’ train wreck, yo.....too fascinating....

ELROND/CELEBRIAN

ARAGORN/ARWEN

Gimli/Legolas

BILBO/THORIN

Frodo/Sam/Rose (also acceptable: Frodo/Sam, Sam/Rose. My only OT3 ever, really.)

Faramir/Eowyn

Eomer/Lothiriel

Boromir/Theodred (also acceptable: aro/ace Boromir)

Dwalin/Ori

Celebrimbor/Fem!Narvi (this could quickly veer into I will lose my mind territory)

Is it weird I’m kinda into Elrond and Gilraen comforting each other and being a lowkey couple?

I can’t believe I almost forgot Sauron/Melkor, the OG power couple

I think that’s.....more than plenty.

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t (again: be nice)

God I want to like Caranthir/Haleth. Well, I DO like Caranthir/Haleth. I just......I just really believe Haleth likes the ladies.....Fully here for Caranthir realizing he’s pining from afar, though. Like God, this should really be my type, but I just.....

I’m not as into Russingon as so much of the fandom is, but I don’t dislike it. But I’m really not part of the Feanorian hype train, don’t fully get it. 

O - Choose a song at random, which ship or character does it remind you of

God, I don’t have all my music on my laptop and I don’t really use Spotify, I’m not sure I CAN do something random.....Let me see.....RANDOM PANDORA??? 

Niiiiice, “Rebel, Rebel.” Damn, you know, I feel like I just had a thought about this the other day.....Let me think here.....Yeah, sorry, I got nothing. If you want me to redo this one, by all means.

W - 5 favorite ships and 5 kinks you like best for said ships

Oh man, oh man, oh man. Uhhhhhhhh. God, it would really help if I were kinkier.

Bilbo/Thorin and I don’t know how to explain this one, but like.......power bottom Bilbo??? Like, sure, it looks like Thorin’s in charge, but whose hand is he eating out of, does that make sense?

NO, SAME ONE AGAIN, SEX ON THE THRONE DURING THORIN’S GOLD SICKNESS, THAT HAS TO COUNT AS A PUBLIC SEX KINK. Not, like, IN public, like at night, but they could get caught.

.........................same one again, banging on the gold, Bilbo only wearing the mithril. I’m not sorry.

If I say Gimli/Legolas can I just say “all” for kinks? I mean.....................leather, for a start. 

You know what, I’m going to throw a curve and say “Ar-Pharazon and Sauron, bondage. But the whole time, Sauron is plotting in the downfall of Numenor and dreaming of sex with Melkor.”

“What about Aragorn/Arwen?” He’s a virgin until the wedding night, give him a SECOND.

Omg, that was so fun, I hope it wasn’t boring. Keep ‘em coming, guys!

#ask meme #fandom asks #shadow13 #shadow131 #russingon #bagginshield #thilbo #gigolas #Anonymous

[abrazimir]

meta + Galadriel? what she said to him in Lothlórien and how that affected him? any continued effects or feelings in verses where he survives?

Requests for Headcanons! - ALWAYS ACCEPTING

SO there is some pretty clear book canon on at the topic, manner and effect of Galadriel’s interrogation of Boromir, confirmed by Frodo, Faramir and Boromir himself. 

‘To me it seemed exceedingly strange,’ said Boromir. `Maybe it was only a test, and she thought to read our thoughts for her own good purpose; but almost I should have said that she was tempting us, and offering what she pretended to have the power to give.’ - Boromir Frodo caught something new and strange in Boromir’s glance, and he looked hard at him. Plainly Boromir’s thought was different from his final words. It would be folly to throw away: what? The Ring of Power? He had said something like this at the Council, but then he had accepted the correction of Elrond.  - Frodo 'Boromir, O Boromir! What did she say to you, the Lady that dies not? What did she see? What woke in your heart then? Why went you ever to Laurelindorenan, and came not by your own road, upon the horses of Rohan riding home in the morning?' - Faramir

Galadriel was tempting him with the ring and that caused his attempt to take it. 

It’s important to put this into context of her other conversations with the fellowship too, everyone else spoke of being tempted by home and the promise of returning to what was safe and familiar to them and not having to worry for the fellowship anymore. But, of course, that could not be what she promised Boromir. He lives this quest, his home IS the quest. And Boromir knows what the others were tempted by, because they discuss it together, which I think was a deeply alienating moment for him. It put into the starkest perspective that his priorities were simply not the same as the fellowship’s. Which is an important addition to his mindset going forward. 

Another important part of this mix is that Boromir, at this point, does not trust in the fellowship. They have been lead through horror and darkness, ignoring or belittling his suggestions to NOT go through horror and darkness the entire way, and by the time Gimli has been threatened with death by Haldir (whom he’s told to trust) and Galadriel has invaded his mind- Boromir doesn’t trust the judgement of anyone within the fellowship anymore. Not that he considers them bad people, he just doesn’t believe they have the ability to complete this quest. 

So Boromir has lost faith with the fellowship’s perspective of the quest and their ability to do it. And then Galadriel tempts Boromir with the ring, and that is the moment that Boromir begins to view the ring as something that can be used. He has ‘accepted the correction of Elrond’ up until this point. But now his advice seems hollow, careless and ill advised. 

Heartbreakingly, Boromir does recognise that Galadriel is manipulating him somehow, but that just isn’t enough for him to discount it, not with the weight of all his loss of faith and mounting grim doom. And this is important too, Boromir’s reach for the ring is entirely logical. No one could blame him for thinking this was the most sensible decision, but once he has that reasonable hook then the ring can control him in short bursts, like making him attack Frodo. 

So! Yes, in a version where Boromir lives, this significantly and enduringly impacts his view on Galadriel and elves as a whole. I always find it funny that people have this perception of Boromir going from mistrusting elves to coming around to them as he meets and befriends more, when it’s entirely the opposite. Boromir came ready to trust Elrond and from then on every subsequent elf he met made him trust them less. He doesn’t blame Galadriel for his taking the ring, that was his failure, but he views her as fell and dangerous and with motives he cannot and will not ever decipher. He also views elves as folk who are very self serving and hypocritical, with a desire to be lauded as good and merciful but no urge to do anything overly taxing to earn those titles. 

And this impression reflects directly on Arwen! And colours his view of her. It is hard to see her decisions as sacrifices when so many of his own people have died horrifically just to keep Mordor at bay. When she has already lived thousands of years and will live a hundred more in peace and love as Queen of a country who’s traumas she has never seen and will never comprehend. And he does not trust that she has the empathy for humanity necessary to feel any of that, he does not trust that elves view humans as anything more than things to be manipulated (as he believes her grandmother does). She married Aragorn yes, but he’s very conscious that Aragorn was raised culturally elven, and is a king. 

I could not tell you why Galadriel did this! She was testing the fellowship, but in that case Boromir must have failed that test. So why didn’t she do anything with that information? Why do this to him if she was never going to use it in the first place, and why treat him so differently from the others? Who knows what John was ever thinking or intending, a mystery! But it’s a moment with a dramatic effect on Boromir’s actions and thoughts going forward and he never really shakes it. 

#;;asks #;;boromircanon #about:galadriel #about:arwen #:33 needed to get this one down too

[theartofbeinganeldar]

The Art of Being an Eldar: Legolas x Reader Chapter 3

Summary: You, a fantasy-loving LARPing human from Earth, got dropped into Middle-Earth with no recollection of the place except for bits and pieces. Lord Fabulous Elvenking has given you three days to find the portal from which you came, with the aide of his son Legolas, who you've taken to calling "Blue-Eyes." If you don't find the portal, you're to be taken back to the palace for a swift execution...

Chapter No.: Chapter 2

Key:

[Y/N]=Your Name [F/N]= Friend's Name [B/N]= Bro's Name [S/N]= Sis's Name [M/N]= Mom's Name [e/c]= eye color [h/c]= hair color [s/c]= skin color

Notes: I actually researched the languages using a website called elfdict,but I don’t know if the orcish is correct...

Warnings: Fluff, angst, graphic depictions of gore and violence (Cuz of orc battles y'know?), more angst, slow burn, some light depression in the first few chapters, some amnesia about Middle-Earth because the Valar say you're not supposed to have foresight, hard-core language, feels, lots and lots of feels, mentions of NSFW content, maybe some eventual NSFW content, LGTBQ+ characters, Thranduil being a jackass at first because he's fabulous, Legolas being a hot edgy prince that nobody can handle, Kili being an innocent bean, Hobbits being smol innocent beans, except for Bilbo 'cause he's been through some tough shit, Bard being dad of the year, Thorin being one dumbass boi, awesome dragons, awesome Nazgul, awesome scenery, awesome stuff in general, Elrond isn't listened to by anybody, confused Aragorn is confused,  Denethor's a bitch as always, brace yourself for creepy as fuck Cream of Wormtongue Grima Wormtongue, Boromir lives, Gandalf. (yes these are all legit warnings don't judge me.)

Pairings/Ships: Legolas x Reader, Legolas x you, Aragorn x Arwen, Faramir x Eowyn, Thranduil x Elvenqueen, Galadriel x Celery Celeborn, Boromir x OC, Thorin x OC, Fili x OC, etc. general LoTR standard shippings plus some of my own cuz I can't stand my boys being lonely

Word Count: I try to keep my chapters short, under 2000 words.

Rating: Teen (14+) for now

Starting at dawn every day, you, Legolas, and the troop of Elves searched repeatedly for the portal. You threw yourself off of the tree countless times. You laid in the spot for hours. At one point, the Elves had even used some kind of sheet made of leaves and their supernatural strength to fling you up like a trampoline to see if the portal was aboveground.

Nothing happened.

As the days wore on, you grew more and more bitter. Every move felt exhausting, and like there was no use: you couldn't get back to your family.

You couldn't live here. There seemed to be no point of your existence anymore.

Somewhere around sunset of the second day, Blue-Eyes noticed your sudden lack of enthusiasm. "May I ask what troubles you?"

You scoffed. "Why do you care? I'll be dead in about forty-eight hours anyway. What I feel doesn't matter."

"I beg to differ," Legolas took a seat beside you; you scooted a couple of inches away. "You are in our world now, so you will go to our gods for judgement when you die."

You frowned. You'd always been kinda an atheist. "The Valar?"

Legolas nodded. "Yes. The Valar. Your feelings before death will determine whether or not you'll be given a good place among them."

You rolled your eyes. "You're kidding, right? They'll judge me for being pissed off and upset 'cause I can't get back to my own world to see my family, then killed just for breathing on Lord Fabulous's precious trees? They can go fuck themselves."

His face was priceless. If you hadn't been so pissed, you might've laughed. "...Lord... Fabulous? And, while I have my doubts about your recent hand gesturing, I do know that what you just said is most likely vulgar. Have respect for the Valar."

You snorted. "First of all, fabulous means somebody who loves dressing in the best and most well-liked outfits of the time, while also being very uppity and acting like they're God's gift to humanity. Second of all, yeah, that is vulgar, and no I will not take it back. Third, how fucking dare you, sir, to tell me to respect some candy-ass bitches up in the sky who'll judge me for having feelings."

Legolas shook his head. "Alright, ass is a word we do have here, as is candy. I can get the gist of that meaning. I cannot force you to have respect for them, especially when they brought you here."

You glared at him. "Yeah, whatever. Just leave me alone."

Blue-Eyes sighed. "As you wish."

You turned away, scrunching up into yourself against the night chill.

On the edge of night...

All shall fade...

With a huff, you curled up where you were and tried to fall asleep.

**

A beautiful copper dragon sat before you on a mound of gold. "Do you think flattery will keep you alive?"

"N-no..." Said the silhouette of a very small person.

"No indeed," Confirmed the dragon. He began to prowl around. "You seem familiar with my name, but I don't remember smelling your kind before. Who are you, and where do you come from, if I may ask?"

The dream flipped.

You stood between two Elves in silver robes, one of which was Blue-Eyes, looking sullen. "Tell me," Said the other Elf, "Where is Gandalf? For I much desire to speak with him."

Legolas's crystal blue eyes glistened with tears, but he held them back. He'd never seemed like one to cry. "He was taken by both shadow and flame. A balrog of Morgoth."

The dream--no, vision-- changed again.

Before you was an old man in blue-gray robes with a long gray beard and pointed hat, smiling kindly up at what looked like a child. You couldn't turn your head to see. "A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins, nor is he ever early. He arrives precisely when he means to."

The visions flashed in your mind quickly now, too fast for you to discern much from them.

"Sauron's forces are massing in the east."

"This is no mere ranger! He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn, heir to the throne of Gondor. You owe him your allegiance."

"Gondor has no king. Gondor needs no king."

"I ain't droppin' no eaves, Mister Frodo!"

"I choose a mortal life."

"The beacons are lit! Gondor calls for aid!"

"He is Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror, the true King under the Mountain."

"You have the gift of foresight. What did you see?"

"Arwen..."

"What did you see?"

"I saw death. Your death."

"But there is also life. You saw my son."

"You have my sword."

"And my bow."

"And my axe!"

"If this is what the council decides, then Gondor will see it is done."

"Things that were... Things that are... And things that have not yet come to pass."

"Did he offer you a bargain?"

"Yes. I refused."

"A bargain was our only hope..."

"Have you forgotten what happened to Dale?"

"I am fire... I am...Death."

~ominous as fuck time skip~

You woke with a start, the dragon's words still echoing in your head. You knew over half of those names, deep in your mind... Sauron, Morgoth, balrog, Thorin, Frodo, Aragorn, Gandalf... You knew the voices, too. But you couldn't place any of them.

The Elves were already awake (With the sun as usual.), readying their breakfast of weeds.

You frowned. Why should you be concerned with why this place sounds familiar if you weren't going to be here much longer? You got up, and prepared to search for the portal-- you didn't want any breakfast, especially when it was nothing but dandelion fluff and sparkles.

"You are not breaking your fast?" Blue-Eyes asked you, and at first you thought he was using Elvish slang.

"You mean I'm not eating breakfast?"

"If that is how you say it in your world, yes."

You shrugged. "I'll be dead later anyway. What's the point?"

Legolas sighed. "To keep up your strength to find your way back. What if you arrive back on your world in the middle of the wilderness, like you did here? You will have no supplies, and I doubt you know much about foraging."

You huffed. "You know what? Screw off. I don't want anything to eat, and you can fucking deal with that."

He looked up in exasperation, probably praying to his Valar for you to stop being such a nuisance. "You use that word an awful lot."

"What word?"

"Fuck."

Then you almost busted out laughing, because a fancy pretty sparkly Elf, even if he was deadly, saying a modern cuss word was too funny.

He blinked. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

You snorted, crossing your arms. "Do you even know what the definition of that word is?"

"No." You gestured for him to come closer, then whispered the meaning into his ear. He sprang back wildly with wide eyes and a profoundly disgusted expression. "Dear Valar, I will never repeat a word you say again unless I am sure of what it means!" His eyes widened even further. "Wait... You just told the gods to perform impossible sexual acts on themselves! And the day before you told me to..." He stopped short, appalled.

"Yuh-huh. Just now gettin' that, goldie? For shame upon me." A thought struck you. "Wait, do Elves even have sex like humans? Do you even know what I'm talking about?"

He blushed a little. "Find the portal. Quickly." He awkwardly left, sparing you a quick glance like "wtf."

You grinned maliciously, then went back to your search.

By sundown, nothing was found. You stared down at the patch where you'd originally landed, wishing for all the world that you'd been born normal, with maybe a slight love for fantasy. Why? Why had you wished, for all of your life, that you'd been transported elsewhere? Now you were, but... You didn't have your family. Without them, you couldn't function right. You just couldn't imagine never seeing them again.

The Elves were already leaving, except for Blue-Eyes. He stood by your side for a minute, as if you were both staring at a grave. You might as well have been. "Bury me here, will you? Maybe my family will find my body. And kill me as non-messily as possible, please? Like, an arrow to the heart'll do."

Blue-Eyes stiffly patted your back. You went ramrod straight-- you'd always hated touch contact. "I will pray for you." He followed his comrades, who were already a good ways back to the river, spread out through the forest. You half considered running in the opposite direction, but you'd be dead before you even so much as got to the ridge where the first of the big dogs had attacked you.

You sighed, and forced yourself to move forward; you gasped as your ankle slipped into a rut, and you yanked it out, arms spread wide for balance. You gave the ground the dirtiest look you could muster, which quickly faded to stunned silence. You leaned down, and scraped more of the dried leaves away...

Your breath caught in your throat. "Blue-Eyes!"

Legolas was at your side in a moment. "Did you find it?"

"I don't know!" You stood and gestured to what you'd found. An inscription, in a language you couldn't read. "It was buried under the leaves."

"Can you read it?"

"Obviously not, dumbass. Is it Elvish?"

Blue-Eyes knelt, tilting his head slightly to read it. His hand grazed the writing. "It is a form of old Elvish, used in the time of Gondolin. This has been here for a very, very long time." He gave you a look. "Forgive me, I'd thought you'd written it at first." You thought about smacking him upside the head, but with everybody suddenly around you again and ready to attack, you thought better of it. Legolas turned back to the writing.

After an almost unspeakably long amount of time, you got impatient. "What's it say, dammit?!"

Legolas shook his head slowly. "I am sorry. Truly, I am. If we had seen this earlier..."

"What does it say, Legolas?!"

He stood, and looked you in the eyes, sympathetic. "'The way is shut. There is no going back. The way is shut, until next fiery moonlight.'"

Your face lit up. "R-really?! Then that means all we have to do is wait for a full moon, right?! That's usually what it is! Full moon at midnight for stuff like this, in all the books! Do you think Lord Fabulous could extend my sentence--"

"[Y/N]," It was the first time he'd used your name, and it made you freeze. "The night you arrived, the moon was full. But it was also a Firemoon. It means you cannot return to your world until the next Firemoon."

Your hopes slowly fell, but you were determined not to succumb to the panic that was quickly rising. "H-how much longer till the next one?"

Legolas put a hand on your shoulder, trying to get you to understand.

"Firemoons only happen once every thousand years, [Y/N]." The words were like being hit by a semi going full speed on the highway-- sudden, fatal, and unbelievable. "You cannot go home."

Everything suddenly seemed far away, like you were seeing this from someone else's perspective. Everything went quiet, at least to you. The world seemed to spin. You dropped to your knees, and you were vaguely aware of Blue-Eyes saying, "I am sorry..."

You didn't know what to do. I can't go home... I can't go home...

I can't go home.

Your breaths came in panicked, short bursts. Even if it killed you, you took off running. Maybe if you ran for long enough, you'd wake up from this nightmare. Then you could pretend you were in some fantasy world with your family this time. You expected to be shot in the back, but you heard Blue-Eyes shout an order in Elvish, and instead, about three or four individual Elves followed you. You don't know how long you ran; tears streamed from your cheeks. Your lungs burned. Your legs felt like Jello. You collapsed at one point, and screamed, though you couldn't hear it. You screamed until your throat was raw. You were vaguely aware of a few Elves nearby, but you ignored them.

All shall...

In all the chaos, it wasn't long before you blacked out.

...Fade...

~emo time skip~

When you woke up, it was midmorning. Birds chirped endlessly on, the happiest goddamned creatures in the world. A couple of Elves talked quietly amongst themselves in hushed voices and in Elvish. You were laying on your back, and somebody had covered you up in a blanket. The smell of something good-- not that anything was, at this point--filled the air. It smelled like cinnamon and walnuts, like Christmas.

With a sigh, you cracked your swollen eyes open. Legolas sat cross-legged beside you, checking his bowstring and polishing the wood. He smiled half-heartedly at you. "You are awake."

Obviously. You didn't say anything. You didn't want to talk. Or think. Legolas sighed, placing his bow across his lap. "We must head for the palace. My father will wonder what is keeping us."

Yeah, gotta kill me as quick as possible... Death is better than this, anyway.

Legolas gave the order, and the Elves started to pack up. You laid monotone and still for the length of it, until Blue-Eyes gave you the signal to get up. Then you walked slowly behind them, every step a chore. You'd barely reached the river, and you were exhausted. And still, that damned song was going through your head...

Home is behind...

The world ahead...

All shall fade...

You knew that your dream last night had been connected to this place, whatever it was. Did that mean this song was, too? You were half tempted to ask Blue-Eyes, but you decided you weren't worthy of talking to any of these fantastical fantasy beings, even if they were going to kill you in t-minus some hours.

The company suddenly halted. Blue-Eyes had a hand raised, and all the Elves's weapons had materialized in their hands. Blue-Eyes was quiet, listening...

An eerie howl cut through the trees, chilling you to your bones. Was that one of those big dogs that carried orcs? A horn followed the howl, and all the Elves strung their bows and readied their weapons. "Gundabad yrch!" Legolas proclaimed-- you were going to assume that yrch meant orcs. He went on to give a bunch of other orders, and the Elves took off running; if it were up to you, you'd've stopped running and let the dogs have you for dinner.

But apparently Legolas seen that, and grabbed your upper arm to drag you along beside him. Damn him... The rest of the Elves were suddenly ignoring Blue-Eyes's orders. Half of them went off into the trees in the direction of the horn and howl, and the other half formed a protective circle around him-- and you, coincidentally.

Blue-Eyes barked an order at them which they ignored, but all of you stopped short when you seen what awaited you on the far bank; the way back to the palace.

Six massive wargs, more wolflike than the ones from before, with orcs a hell of a lot uglier than the ones from before sitting atop their backs, with black bows and jagged, haphazard swords. In the direction the other Elves had gone, there was more howling. Shit. If you cared about your survival right now, you'd've been terrified. But you almost enjoyed the thought of death, if it hadn't been so gruesome.

Blue-Eyes scanned the bank. There were more orcs nearby, on foot, and several more wargs. One of the Elves moved faster than you could see, snatching a sleek gold horn on his hip and blowing hard before Legolas could stop him.

The Elf-- it was the one that'd found your hair dye repulsive the other day-- hardly got a note out before an arrow lodged itself in his throat. The note trailed off into a gurgle as blood sprayed from the wound. Droplets splattered onto you, and you recoiled; you'd never seen death. You'd been to a funeral once or twice, but never this. He fell backward, and the river swiftly carried his body away.

Legolas shouted an order, and the Elves readied themselves for battle. But there wouldn't be one just yet, despite the death of that Elf. The lead orc-- a nasty, pale gray orc with swollen eyes and a protruding mouth, tall and thick, his forehead covered in scars-- stepped off of his warg, which was bigger than the rest.

He came about halfway before stopping. "A truce?" One of the Elves asked-- Common was probably hard to speak for orcs, so they resorted to it to keep from being understood. It made sense.

Legolas didn't take his eyes off of the orc, but shook his head. "That is Bolg, spawn of Azog the Defiler. He would not make any truce with us, nor would any other orc. They are beyond reason, and think only of blood and death." Bolg... Azog... Now you really knew these names... But why?

"Albai," The orc snarled; his voice was deep. "Dorzog ajog lum trov!"

"Emme uva!" Legolas cried. "Sin nor yara ana Aran Thranduil!"

Thranduil... You knew that name. But the fact that they were conversing in orcish and Elvish was astounding. One must've came from the other, and you were just going to assume that it was the orcish that came from Elvish.

Bolg's already disgusting face scrunched up into a frown. "Vol lat diig!" The orc raised an arm; you recognized the movement as a signal to fire. The Elves scrambled around wildly yet gracefully to avoid the arrows, but you barely moved; an arrow got you right in the bare part of your upper arm, and another grazed your ear. Still, you didn't move, praying for one to hit you in the head or heart or something. You hardly felt the pain.

As the battle took place around you, you zoned out. You caught glimpses of a bloodied Elven corpse, or a dismembered orc, and of course, blood was everywhere. The river ran red. You just wished it would end...

A grunt nearby brought you out of your trance.

It was Blue-Eyes, being pinned down by a warg's paw on his chest, another on his left arm. He flipped the dagger in his good hand and stabbed it violently into the warg's shoulder. The beast howled in agony, but only pushed down harder; Legolas's eyes widened as he realized the knife was stuck. The warg snarled, and opened its jaws, savoring the taste of fear before it would bite down...

None of this is his fault. He shouldn't have to die.

The warg had dismissed you as unthreatening. One of the Elves lay dead on the rocks nearby, a longblade in her hand as she stared with unseeing eyes to the sky, mouth agape. You snatched the weapon from her already-stiffening grasp. It was heavy. But it was sharp as hell.

In two leaps, you'd reached the warg, which looked to you in confusion, then recognition, with a growl. You brought the sword down, slicing deep into the creature's face. It wailed in an echo of a voice, and released Legolas, pawing at the wound; Legolas whipped his bow out like an OP follower and shot that dog point blank.

You let go of the hilt, stunned. Blue-Eyes inclined his head. "You have my deepest thanks, [Y/N.]. You saved my life."

You just nodded in shock.

Legolas raced back into the battle, leaving you to your own. Another horn blew, this one like the one the Elf that'd been shot first had blown. A barrage of arrows flew from the trees, felling every orc and warg in seconds. Some grazed you, but none touched any of the surviving Elves.

A she-Elf in a dark green tunic, carrying a longbow, loped out of the woods with her comrades. She was beautiful, with red hair so long it went past her waist. "Legolas!" She cried, and he responded in Elvish; again, you couldn't understand what they were saying, and it was really starting to piss you off.

"[Y/N]," Blue-Eyes called to you, and you belatedly looked up. He and the ginger were approaching you sollemnly. "This is Tauriel, Captain of the Guard. She will take you back to the palace and explain what happened here." Ah... Death at last.

"Tauriel," Legolas turned to her; something shone in his eyes. You recognized his spark, but not hers, but the thought quickly left your head when you registered what he was saying. "Tell my father that they saved my life."

"What?" Tauriel looked impressed, and bowed her head to you. "You have my thanks, mellon."

"Perhaps he will spare them from execution in repayment," Legolas pointed out, and Tauriel made an 'o' face.

She bowed respectfully. "I will make sure of it, my prince."

Wut.

Oh, right. Blue-Eye's dad was Lord Fabulous, king of these Elves. Of course that'd make him a prince. Prince Legolas Gr... Of the Wood... Rea... The thought was like an echo. You couldn't catch it.

Legolas nodded to you, and Tauriel lead you away from the carnage of the river battlefield.

~time skip~

"Saving my son does not grant you my utmost favor," Lord Fabulous glared down at you like you were a nasty piece of gum he'd stepped on in flip-flops. "But it does warrant some form of reward. I am sure you wish for your execution to be cancelled?"

On autopilot, you nodded. You didn't want to die, but you didn't want to live. You just wished you'd never have existed in the first place, that way none of this would've happened.

Lord Fabulous Elvenking snorted, like he was hoping you'd just ask for cake before you were beheaded. "Of course. Take them to their cell."

Tauriel wasn't as rough as Legolas, or even any of the guards had been, but she still held you firmly. "Would you like a change of clothes? I could also arrange for a washbasin to be brought to you."

You just nodded. Couldn't you just dissipate? But, if it'd taken nineteen years for this wish to come true, then it'd take another nineteen years for you to disappear. You were an Elf now, so that should pass in one painful blink of an eye...

"I am sorry that you could not find the portal," Tauriel told you as she locked the door to your cell. "I will have the guards bring you something to eat at once."

You laid down on your cot, curled up, and closed your eyes. You heard the guard come and deliver the food, then leave quietly, but you still didn't move. You didn't move when Tauriel brought you clothes and a bucket of water and rags, you didn't move when Blue-Eyes came to thank you again, you didn't move when a rat came and took your cheese. You just laid there, staring and feeling dead on the inside.

You refused to eat or drink for the next few days. You slept, mostly. When you were awake, you were crying silently. You dreamed of your family. You grieved. Your muscles cramped from sleeping in one position for days. Your stomach felt like it was going to eat you alive. Your mouth was as dry as sandpaper. A hollow ache had settled in the core of your torso, between your heart and lungs; a pulsing orb of sadness, regret, and the wish to disappear. A couple of times, you passed out from hunger while laying down. But you were an Elf, so it'd be hard for you to starve.

You kept count of the days by the cycle of guards exchanging meals. Every tray held different things for different mealtimes: fruits and bread for breakfast, cheese and bread for lunch, and a thick vegetable soup for dinner. About nine days went by before anyone came to check on you, and by that point, you were hysterical on the inside. On the outside, you were catatonic.

And you reeked, because you hadn't had a shower in like, awhile.

After two battles.

So you weren't at your best.

"My guards tell me you refuse to sustain yourself." It was Blue-Eyes. "Do you realize how much of an offense that is to his majesty? He allows you to live, and yet you seek death out deliberately."

You said nothing. Hell, your eyes didn't even move. With a sigh, Blue-Eyes moved to your bedside. "Ah, I see you have also refused to bathe..." You didn't crack a smile. Even on the inside, you hardly felt a twinge of amusement. You felt... Empty.

Legolas surprised you by placing a hand on your cheek. "You miss them, don't you?"

Tears welled in your eyes. Dammit stop making me have feels. Ah, but feels you had, my friend, and you started bawling into your pillow. Legolas shushed you, and petted your head and told you it would be alright. You don't know how long you cried, but at one point, Legolas and Tauriel switched places, even though she clearly didn't want to and sucked at emotional talking.

When it was Legolas's turn again, you'd finally gotten to the nearly-finished state of hyperactive wheezing. "How long were you holding that in, I wonder?" You still didn't answer. He gave you a sympathetic smile. "You saved my life. Let me help you save yours. Get up. You will eat, even if I must force it down your throat, and once you're full, you'll bathe. After, I will take you for a tour of Mirkwood. You'll be living here, now... I suppose it's only right you learn how to navigate your homeland."

Finally, it clicked.

"Wh...What did you say...?" Your voice was hoarse from underuse and crying, but it still worked.

Legolas gave you a concerned look, like that much crying might've damaged your hearing. "I said I will take you for a tour of Mirkwood--"

You sat up; too fast, but you sat up. Your sugar dropped. But you had to know. "Mirkwood... Where is that?"

Legolas frowned. "East of the Misty Mountains, west of Erebor, home to the dwarves and the King Under the Mountain. North of Ithilien, Gondor, and northeast to Lothlorien, Ithilien, and Rohan."

Oh fuck.

"Wh-what is this place called? In general? Collectively? Like, the whole continent?"

Legolas seemed to finally realize that you were crazy. "Middle-Earth."

Oh hell.

"Holy shit..."

"What is it?"

You couldn't remember it clearly. Hell, you could hardly remember it at all. But what you did remember finally made sense. Tolkien's fantasy masterpiece that no one can surpass... The Hobbit... Lord of The Rings... The Fellowship... Smaug, Thorin, Bilbo... Aragorn, Arwen... Thranduil, Legolas, Tauriel... Oh gods, Legolas! "I-I... The books... Oh, gods..."

"Mellon...?"

You promptly fell face-first off the bed before any half-assed explanation could be given to poor Golden Boy.

"[Y/N]?!"

...

Home is behind...

The world ahead...

And there are many paths to tread...

Through shadow, to the edge of night...

Until the stars are all alight...

Mist and shadow...

Cloud and shade...

All shall fade...

All shall...

...Fade...

Tag List: @tesserphantom​ @thedragonghostofmordor​

#legolas x reader #legolas x you #au #LARP #LoTR #the hobbit #legolas greenleaf #orlando bloom #orcs #wargs #elves #eldar #chapter 2 #theartofbeinganeldar #fanfiction #romance #angst #fluff #gender-nuetral #wild #misfit #reader-insert #middle-earth #realization #poor blondie #pippin's full song #but you dont remember it #dont worry you hear it again years later cuz of pip #aw shit spoiler #ronanstolkienfam

[tanadrin]

@bpd-anon:

I think I agree on some points and disagree on others but mostly I would love an expansion of this part: "I don’t think he actually understands fantasy as a set of generic conventions as well as he thinks he does." Can you explain the parts that he is misunderstanding and what true understanding looks like?  

For some context, I have never seen GOT. I read the first book and it's tied for my favorite book ever but then college and its stress hit and I mostly stopped reading (same reason Blindsight is another favorite book ever but I haven't read Echopraxia). I mostly read science fiction books and I haven't even read the all-important LOTR (mainly because I hear there isn't any moral greyness, sounds boring). 

Martin has said things like this:

“I admire Tolkien greatly. His books had enormous influence on me. And the trope that he sort of established—the idea of the Dark Lord and his Evil Minions—in the hands of lesser writers over the years and decades has not served the genre well. It has been beaten to death. The battle of good and evil is a great subject for any book and certainly for a fantasy book, but I think ultimately the battle between good and evil is weighed within the individual human heart and not necessarily between an army of people dressed in white and an army of people dressed in black. When I look at the world, I see that most real living breathing human beings are grey.”     

“Ruling is hard. This was maybe my answer to Tolkien, whom, as much as I admire him, I do quibble with. Lord of the Rings had a very medieval philosophy: that if the king was a good man, the land would prosper. We look at real history and it’s not that simple. Tolkien can say that Aragorn became king and reigned for a hundred years, and he was wise and good. But Tolkien doesn’t ask the question: What was Aragorn’s tax policy? Did he maintain a standing army? What did he do in times of flood and famine? And what about all these orcs? By the end of the war, Sauron is gone but all of the orcs aren’t gone – they’re in the mountains. Did Aragorn pursue a policy of systematic genocide and kill them? Even the little baby orcs, in their little orc cradles?” 

“By the time I got to Mines of Moria I decided this was the greatest book I’d ever read… And then Gandalf dies! I can’t explain the impact that had on me at 13. You can’t kill Gandalf… Tolkien just broke that rule, and I’ll love him forever for it. The minute you kill Gandalf, the suspense of everything that follows is 1,000 times greater. Because now anybody could die. Of course, it’s had a profound effect on my own willingness to kill characters at the drop of a hat.” 

Taken together, Martin is one of the people I’m thinking most of when I say things like “nobody reads Tolkien, only their caricatures of Tolkien.” About the only thing I can say for him is that he’s right on Tolkien being about an external battle of Good versus Evil a lot of the time; though for my part, Martin’s world doesn’t come off so much as Gray versus Gray as Evil versus Evil, and a lot of what he seems to take for “moral ambiguity” to me is perfectly unambiguous: they’re all (or mostly) villains, doing villainy things to each other. Sometimes for quite human reasons; but the best villains have comprehensible motivations beyond pure evil. Doesn’t make them not villains.

First of all, he’s simply nakedly incorrect that Tolkien never considered the difficulties of rule, or never looked at the practical aspects of his worldbuilding. They don’t come in much for emphasis, but they’re absolutely there (most notably in the scenes set in Minas Tirith, in the run-up to the Battle of the Pelennor Fields), and indeed the moral nature of the Orcs, and therefore the correct stance to take toward them, was of deep concern to him, and subject to a lot of later revision as he struggled with the idea of what we would now refer to as an Always Chaotic Evil fantasy race.

Tolkien certainly critically interrogates the morality and moral authority of rulership. In the Silmarillion, he has plenty of figures who cut heroic profiles but make bad (or at least ambiguous) kings, with much resulting conflict; and indeed, that ambivalence is something he’s in part borrowing from his medieval sources! To say that the medievals had a totally black-and-white view of kingship is to betray a lack of familiarity with actual medieval writers, who even (especially?) in the Early Middle Ages are adept at portraying leaders with powerful qualities that turn against them in the wrong situation. Beorhtnoth, the heroes of Njal’s Saga, and Beowulf would have all been extremely familiar to Tolkien, and are good examples I think. Tolkien absolutely understood that people come in shades of gray, and there are various admixtures of light and dark in almost all his characters. Even Frodo for Chrissakes puts on the Ring at the end--and Gollum redeems him. Like, come on! That’s one of the most memorable parts of the main trilogy! But from Galadriel right down to the Sackville-Bagginses, Tolkien is intensely conscious of the moral complexity of everybody in his stories, he just doesn’t need them to say “fuck” in order to express that.

What Martin seems to have confused for Tolkien is, like, the semi-mythic style of Arthurian romance (which... is still not always super black and white?), which is only a small part of the generic conventions Tolkien is drawing on. Tolkien is much more steeped in the conventions of the realist novel, with its penchant for psychological complexity, even as he’s borrowing the setpieces of older literature. I think that’s important because it’s what marks Tolkien out as a fundamentally modern writer, despite his sources; yet people skate over this and like to pretend he was some kind of reverse Connecticut Yankee who stumbled out of the 13th century with medieval sensibilities intact. Which is... weird.

The quote about Gandalf is especially telling. Gandalf’s death happens for extremely clear structural reasons: it provides a climax to Book II (if you’ve never read LOTR: each volume is divided into two “books”; the three-volume split was a post-writing publication decision, LOTR was originally written as a single continuous unit, and the “books” are like mega-chapters), much like, but stronger than, the Flight to the Ford at the end of Book I; it sets up the sojurn in Lorien (recovering from the trauma of the loss of their nominal leader); it helps the narrative transition from the low-stakes, bucolic setting of everything west of the Misty Mountains to the high-stakes dangers of the rest of the story; and it serves the conclusion of the story because without Gandalf’s sacrifice (plus many other events), the Ring never would have made it to Mount Doom. Also, not to put too fine a point on it, but Gandalf comes back, in a way that feels sensible within the world Tolkien has built, and which sets up further development of both the main plot and the the themes Tolkien is concerned with.

If Martin had written Lord of the Rings, Gandalf would have died to a random Orc arrow, would never have come back, and the Ring wouldn’t have made it to Mount Doom at all. And you’d be left feeling like Gandalf dies for basically no reason--and you’d be right. The suspense in Lord of the Rings doesn’t come from wondering who will die (the only major named characters who die permanently are Boromir and Gollum; both similarly serve important thematic and plot functions when they do, but by Martin’s standard, Tolkien isn’t even trying), or wondering how things will turn out--does anyone ever doubt that the good guys will win?--it comes from seeing how they get there, from wanting to experience the emotional and narrative beats of the story, wanting to see the narrative logic being brought to its conclusion. It’s why it’s a good story even if you know the ending! And all of Tolkien’s work is like that: a well-constructed narrative that is perennially satisfying is far better than a one-off surprise that can never be repeated. That’s a mistake a lot of modern media is making right now, which the rise of undue emphasis on spoilers isn’t doing anything to reduce.

More generally: there’s nothing wrong with high fantasy externalizing the conflict between good and evil. That is in fact one of its functions, as a kind of moral metaphor or moral proving ground in the same way that, say, science fiction often serves as moral and philosophical proving ground for ideas around technology or exploration or the alien. It’s not obligatory, but to cite that as an insufficiency of any work in the genre is to fail to understand the genre. Tolkien specifically provides some arch moral figures (Morgoth, Sauron, Manwe, Aragorn), but he also provides some much more mixed ones: Denethor, Saruman, Grima Wormtongue, Boromir, Gollum, etc. (also Thorin, Feanor and his sons, and in fact just like a huge chunk of the cast of the Silmarillion in general), and gives his characters plenty of opportunity to reflect that, even in a conflict with a literal evil spirit, there is room for ambiguity (cf. Sam’s meditation on the Haradrim in Ithilien). And the sum total of the effect in Tolkien’s work is that it actually feels like something is at stake. I don’t feel like that in Martin’s world. I feel like if the Night King were just to destroy all of Westeros that would make as much sense and be about as satisfying as any other outcome, because there’s nothing that feels especially worth preserving there.

In discarding everything about both the moral and narrative structure of high fantasy, Martin’s world leaves nothing for one to hang one’s hat on, nothing to use as a fixed point of reference when it comes to orienting yourself in it; he is writing a critique against many things, perhaps, but not an argument for anything. The result leaves me quite cold.

[littleladybaker]

Carol and Mallorie watch LOTR Return of the King.

Finally getting around to typing up part three of this little series. This one is gonna be the longest yet because we watched the Extended Edition. Spoilers galore. Enjoy!

Explaining Smeagol and Deagol to Carol and Mal as the original Merry and Pippin.

Mallorie making dick jokes about Deagol’s fishing pole...while I was eating a redvine...

Carol asked me to to pause the movie so she could answer the phone (they still have a house phone) and I paused just a second Gollum was biting into the catfish. We all started screaming and Carol’s brother, my ex, came out and told us to stop being so loud. We told him to put his headphones on if we bothered him so much. I explained to the girls that he slept threw ALL THREE MOVIES each time I tried to show the movie to him.

“Please tell me Frodo is ok after all this.”(Mallorie)

“As ok as you can be with PTSD.” (Carol)

Carol making Frodo/Sam sex jokes.

“Sam and Rosie had eight kids. The first was born in less than a year.”(Me)

“They had a lot of fun.” (Carol)

Me infodumping about Christopher Lee.

Carol and Mallorie making dick jokes about Saruman.

Me:Christopher Lee is problebly yelling at us from Heaven. You know that right?

C and M: ...

Mallorie: Hi, Chris!

Carol: You know we’re riiiiiiiiightttttttt!

Ganalf is Pippin’s grandpa now.

Treebeard apparently lost his wife in the mall. 😹

DrunkGimli was apparently Mallorie after one margarita on her 21st.

Carol implying that Gollum did dirty things with the ring.

Smeagol is like Jeremy's sister in Phinius and Ferb.

I am the Pippin of our “Family”.

“Aragorn! Come get your grandson!” (Mallorie)

“Merry loves his little cousin.”(Mallorie)

“Well someone's gotta look after him. ‘Cause his parents clearly ain't!”(Me)

The girls gushing over Eldarion and Arwen and Aragorn!

“How do you know so much?”(Mallorie)

“It’s my job. I make dolls and I know things.”(Me)

Dickhead Denethor.

Aragorn “Hope” jokes.

“Hope will come.”(Gandalf)

“And then he has a son!” (Mallorie)

Two words: Fro-Bro, Fro Fro Brodo.

Mallorie infodumping Game of Thrones in me.

Us arguing over who gets custody of Faramir when we take him from Denethor.

Me gushing over Lawrence Makoare and his dedication to makeup acting. Seriously this guy is amazing.

Gushing over how cute Merry is.

More talk about the horses. Ian McKellen’s horse was a DIVA.

Us calling David Wenham (I think I misspelled that😕) Daisy.

More gushing over Lawrence.

Boromir is Faramir’s Ada and Denethor has lost custody.

Boromir is ashamed of his father.

Me making Mallorie cry over my HC that Boromir leads Pippin to the afterlife when he dies.

EDGE OF NIGHT!!!!!!! The girls were impressed.

We all may or may not all have crushes of Billy Boyd.

Me explaining Dernhelm.

Eomir’s speech to Eowen sounds an awful lot like Sharpe’s “Can you stand” Speach.

Andril is amazing.

Explaining elf marriage and how the elf follows their spouse into the afterlife.

Telling them about Elboron.

The return of Puppy Horse!

Eowen is Merry’s mom friend.

Mallorie still loves Gimli.

Mallorie is more scared of Bilbo than of the Army of the Dead

Gothmog looks like the CEO of Abacrombi and Finch.

Talk of how Young Ian McKellen would have ruined our lives.

(Carol brought up a picture of Young Ian with young Tim Curry and...I have no idea how to comprehend what I've seen.)

Mallorie’' she reason for why Frodo can't  turn back at Shelob’s: Sam’s down there and it would just be awkward because he just broke up with his boyfriend.

TEN MINUTES of Carol and Mallorie taking about Turtle Sex because they began to wonder where baby Orc come from...I'm scared for life.

Carol is SUPER ARACNIPHOBIC. I'm glad I asked before Shelob showed her face. She had to cling to my Haldir doll...I'm making her a spider repellent Sam doll...

Me:(to the tune of If You're Happy and You Know It) If you wanna adopt a hobbit and ya know it raise your hand!

Them:

Everyone hates Denethor

Any time Witch King, Gothmog, or Lurtz does something Mallorie shouts, Dang it Lawerence, and I'm so proud of myself for corrupting her into a Lawerence fan.

Merry is Eowen’s emotional  support Hobbit! 😹

I'm making all my friends matching Hobbit dolls, because there are five of us, Mallorie gets Bilbo.

Oliffond poop problebly kills people.💩

I have stopped correcting Mallorie when she's calls the Oliffonds Eliphants.

YOU CAN SEE THE TEAR TRACKS ON PIPPIN’S DIRTY FACE!!!!

Rohirm are REALLY uncreative whith naming their children...

Peter Jackson and his anatomically correct CGI animals.

Our new band, Panic in my Heart. With our new hit single, Don't kill my fave.

The girls thinking Merry is dead. (I didn't tell the man otherwise. Mwahahaha 😁)

Aragorn put Eowen in the Daughter Zone, not the friend zone.

🎤If you wanna be my lover,🎤

Sorry, i already adopted you. Also, I'm married to someon else.

The girls trying to figure where the ring is hidden, thinking it is on Frodo somewhere. ( Carol asked if it was up Fodo’s ass 😹)

Ring dick jokes. Curtesy of Carol

“Gondor has a king, Gondor needs its king!”

FARAMIR AND EOWIN!!!

I quoted Aragorn’s Men of the West Speach and I have no shame!

I continue to quote Unusual Suspect threw the whole movie.

“There's no eagles, Lil! You said the Eagles would be there!”(Carol)

Eagles arrive.

“Oh”( Carol)

Us all singing Let it Go when Frodo is about to drop the ring.

More dirty ring jokes.

At this point, Mallorie and Carol just wanted the movie to end.

When are all I need agreement that Pippin needs a bath, a cuddle, and a nap.

ARAGORN’S CORINATION SONG!!!!!!!!! VIGGO CAN STILL SING, IT TOO!!!!!!!!

Elrond is SO not read yet for his baby girl to get married.

We all just wanted the movie to be fucking over!

Galadriel scared Mallorie, apparently.

Carol crying when she realizes Frodo doesn't live Happily ever after with Sam and Rosie in Bag End.

“OH MY GOSH!!! THIS IS THE NEVER ENDING STORY!!!!!!”(All of us!!!!)

“This was fun but we are never doing it again.”(Me)

“YUP!!!!!”(C+M)

And it's finnaly over! Carol an drew Mallorie have finnaly seen all three LOTR movies! Up next, either showing the movie to Caitlin, extended edition marathon, or Hobbit movies. We'll see. TTFN, ta ta for now.

#LOTR #Carol and Mallorie's first vewing of LOTR #long post

[garden-ghoul]

fellowship of the bloggening, part 7

“I actually checked this time and it’s totally part 7″

THE BRIDGE OF KHAZAD-DUM

Gandalf finds a bloodstained book by Balin’s tomb, and Tolkien makes it his mission to recreate as accurately as possible the experience of reading a partial text that needs Deciphering. Because he’s a nerd. The book is basically a family diary that recounts how things went for Balin & co since they came to Moria 30 years ago.

'I fear their end was cruel. Listen! We cannot get out. We cannot get out. They have taken the Bridge and second hall. Frár and Lóni and Náli fell there. Then there are four lines smeared so that I can only read went 5 days ago. The last lines run The pool is up to the wall at Westgate. The Watcher in the Water took Óin. We cannot get out. The end comes, and then drums, drums in the deep. The last thing written is in a trailing scrawl of elf-letters: they are coming. There is nothing more.'

I’m endeared, because this is exactly the kind of thing I wrote in my journals when I was 12 because I thought it sounded impressive--that semi-poetic repetition of we cannot get out and the “trailing scrawl” at the end where you can see someone was trying to run away while writing. I really want dwarven record-keeping to be a specific poetic form, I want every kind of writing to have a specific poetic form, up to and including sales receipts.

As the company is leaving the records chamber they hear the doom, doom of enormous drums (have always loved that as an onomatopoeia). Legolas and Gimli, the nerds, immediately quote from the ominous text they just read, to express their fear, and at the same time the hypothesis that whatever killed Balin’s guys is coming for them. Very elegant use of echolalia! But it does make them sound, like nerds.

They are attacked by orcs, bla bla, the hobbits are surprisingly courageous and good at fighting! Well, Frodo and Sam are. We hear nothing of valiant deeds performed by Merry and Pippin. They flee out the other door of the records chamber; Gandalf stays behind to do something--I thought he was sealing the door with magic, but he says he was nearly defeated by something up there? It did a magic battle with Gandalf over the lock of the door, which is terribly exciting but left our wizard exhausted. When the door exploded, something “dark as a cloud” was obscuring the room. One point for my firesmoke balrogs. Anyway, we reach another hall, one level below the west gate (I love how Gandalf is carefully narrating exactly where they are). This hall has familiar pillars carved into the shapes of enormous trees. I assume it’s one of Tolkien’s imagery obsessions, but still I’m adding it to the Menegroth-Angband-Mandos trifecta of places to face one’s doom. Doom, doom, say the drums in the deep. The company moves on to the narrow bridge over a Hella Pit, designed to be difficult and unsafe for enemies to cross.

Also there’s this really neat balrog description:

What it was could not be seen: it was like a great shadow, in the middle of which was a dark form, of man-shape maybe, yet greater. It came to the edge of the fire and the light faded as if a cloud had bent over it. Then with a rush it leaped across the fissure. The flames roared up to greet it, and wreathed about it; and a black smoke swirled in the air. Its streaming mane kindled, and blazed behind it.

So basically balrogs look like a cloud of black smoke concealing an enormous humanoid form, but their dash attack is rocket powered. Also later it says that it has wings that span the entire hall. Very cool, but not as cool as walking tripod jellyfish things that whip out tendrils of fire to sting people.

Gandalf faces the balrog on the bridge, cuts its flaming sword to pieces (hell yeah). And he makes a stopping-spell so powerful that his staff shatters as the spell takes effect, cutting the bridge in two. But as we know he gets dragged into the pit. The company flees into daylight, scattering terrified orcs before them, and then once they’re out of bowshot of the walls they all stand there weeping.

Will our heroes make it to

LOTHLORIEN?

Tune in right now to find out! Or, in a little while. Aragorn says, enough crying we have lots to do. Gimli takes a brief detour to see Dimrill Dale’s biggest tourist spot, the location where Durin first looked into the Mirrormere and saw a prophetic vision of himself becoming an eternal king. You can actually see the jewels in his crown down there “till he wakes.” Um. What? What are those? Ah also Gimli really really wants Frodo, specifically, to see this with him. He knows Frodo is a history nerd. I love him.

Anyway they hike until they get to Lorien; it being winter, the leaves on the trees are gold. Thanks Galadriel for acknowledging that seasons exist, kinda. Legolas notes that a “secret power” protects the wood, although apparently nobody knows what it is (Nenya). Boromir is less happy to be here, because in Gondor the rumor is that nobody who walks into the Golden Wood ever walks out. Probably because y’all aren’t exactly elf-friends.

'Perilous indeed,' said Aragorn, 'fair and perilous; but only evil need fear it, or those who bring some evil with them.’

Stares at Aragorn. Stares at the Ring, the most evil artifact left in the world. Stares at Aragorn again. Anyway they walk until they find the river Nimrodel, which Legolas says brings healing to the weary. So he paddles in it for a bit. When they make camp he sings about Nimrodel and her beau, but breaks off, saying that he forgot the rest. When did elves become able to forget things? This new?

Then there’s a long passage that I forgot to blog because it was really engagingly written, but basically our heroes meet some Lorien elves and hang out in treehouses for a while, Legolas and Gimli argue about why the Lorien elves distrust dwarves so much, and the party takes a stroll. Everyone gets un-blindfolded and Frodo and Sam talk a bunch about how dreamlike and unchanging Lorien is. Sounds like a terrifying place. There’s also an element of “echoes of the past” here; Frodo hears the sea and calls of extinct seabirds from on top of Amroth’s Hill. The implication is that Lorien has been unchanged for thousands of years, and Frodo feels it will remain that way forever.

THE MIRROR OF GALADRIEL

We enter the one and only city in Lothlorien, Caras Galadhon. This city is unique not only in that all the buildings are trees, but also in the fact that our heroes can’t see anyone there. They hear people moving around, talking, and singing, but they don’t see anyone. This implies some kind of very interesting culture, I’m sure. Well, when they get to the throne room or whatever, Celeborn greets each of the travellers by name, as if to impress upon them that he already knows everrrrythingggg. Galadriel is silent and scary until it’s time to correct her husband on the reason Gandalf isn’t here. The tale of Gandalf’s fall is told; Celeborn is so ready to blame dwarves for this, because he is as racist as ever, but Galadriel chides him for it like she always does. She speaks of Khazad-dum and environs in dwarvish, possibly for the purpose of flirting with Gimli, and they smile at each other.

He rose clumsily and bowed in dwarf-fashion, saying: 'Yet more fair is the living land of Lórien, and the Lady Galadriel is above all the jewels that lie beneath the earth!’ 

Did you have to put in ‘clumsily.’ We get it, he’s not an elf. Whatever. Gimli and Galadriel are cute, she’s trying very hard to show everyone that she’s less racist than her husband. I also want to appreciate how people keep using “before the fall of Gondolin and Nargothrond” as a very specific time measure. I’m guessing that that’s what people say when they mean “in the First Age” but don’t want to, uh, ruin immersion by being specific.

Our heroes get some much-needed rest. They sleep a lot and go for constitutionals among the trees. Legolas goes out to a lot of elf-ragers or something, and gradually starts bringing Gimli with him. Oh, you finally noticed he’s a real stand-up guy, huh? Well, it’s nice that they’re both making friends.

Later Galadriel fetches Frodo and Sam to look into her magic mirror. They see various things. Frodo last sees the Eye of Sauron, and Galadriel does a little speech about how she uses Nenya to defend Lothlorian from his eye and his mind.

‘Do you not see now wherefore your coming is to us as the footstep of Doom? For if you fail, then we are laid bare to the Enemy. Yet if you succeed, then our power is diminished, and Lothlórien will fade, and the tides of Time will sweep it away.’

Oho! So the Three do draw a good portion of their power from the One, even though Celebrimbor tried his best to make them independent. That must have taken some doing, forging a magic that would subjugate all free rings. I like to think that he had to put a constraint of rings only on it, in order for it to be strong enough to stand against Celebrimbor’s work. Also:

‘We must depart into the West, or dwindle to a rustic folk of dell and cave, slowly to forget and to be forgotten.'

Mmm perfect memory as maybe a First Age thing specifically; perfect memory that depends on the state of the world and maybe even the blessing of the Valar and their presence on the same planet. I friggin dig it. Frodo also offers Galadriel the Ring--one passing that I have to assume the Ring is actually encouraging, rather than its normal unwillingness to leave any one owner. Galadriel does her speech about what will happen if she gets the Ring. I read it as kind of a warning/intimidation tactic honestly. In the movie they portrayed it as a power trip and her being tempted, but I think she already finished tempting herself long ago and decided not to take it. The test she speaks of here isn’t a test of wisdom, it’s a test of willpower in sticking to the decision she already made.

#blog of the rings

[wingsporkhalo]

A Collaborative Spork of “Why?”: a Lord of the Rings Fanfic-- Chapter 4

Time to “enjoy” chapter 4 of this mess with @icykalismsts!

Special thanks to Liz Lemon and Castiel for helping me as snarky as possible.

Chapter 4: Not Quite Home Sweet Home

Hey, it's Nyanko-chan again. I'm writing this next half chapter for my friends.

(Damn the influence you have on me!) However, I'm considering pulling down

this fic.

W: You can’t pull it down any further than it has already sunk.

I put this fic for others to enjoy, and if they don't, well obviously I could

just give the rest of the fic to Crystal-chan now instead of putting her in suspense.

::sigh:: There goes all the fun.

W: That’s my line, buster.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A little girl from the group walked up to Crystal.

~ Onee-chan (sister), what are we going to do with him? ~

W: For once, author is right about the translation, but it actually means more specifically “Big sister/older sister.”

Sarcastically, she said, "Well jeez, why don't you tell me? YOU'RE the

one caught him!" The girl blushed.

~ Hai, hai. (can mean anything between yes, agreeing, or agreeing in an

offhand way) ~ What do yall think? ~

K: That these “translations” are incredibly intrusive.

W: That “y’all” doesn’t seem like very sophisticated language. And oops, if the author’s translations are intrusive, mine are probably even more so. Sorry, guys.

Several murmurs were heard, saying things

like, "Why not do to him what he did to Crystal-sama?" and such. Comments like

these made Legolas a bit nervous.

Crystal hushed them up with a careless wave of her hand.

W: It was careless because she had knocked over a nearby flower vase.

"No matter what

we do with him, no one, even an ordinary elf deserves this kind of treatment. We'll

take him to the camp, and THEN decide what to do with him."

K: Is it bad that I immediately thought of a prison camp? W: Well, I thought of a concentration camp, so really yours was better than mine.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Aragorn hurried and woke the others as soon as he got up. As they packed,

they all thought about what could have been bothering Legolas so much about this

stranger that he took off after her without telling anyone.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When they arrived at the elves camp

W: --which is where young elves undergo training to one day assist Santa in his workshop--

around 10:00 a.m., they closed the

gates and untied him.

K: It is an Elf prison camp! W: Oh god, no!

Crystal gave a mock bow. "Welcome, Prince , to our humble lodgings." As

Legolas looked around, he thought, "I'll be damned if this was humble! This place

puts shame to the city of Mirkwood!" (Was that correct?)

K: No, that’s rude. He should be grateful that he’s in a prison camp, duh.

W: Man, Mirkwood’s really changed, I guess.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

As they were walking down a corridor to Legolas' room, a little thing ran

down the hallway, screaming, ~ Oneeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-chan! You're back! ~

K: Oh. Good thing I didn’t need those eardrums.

Crystal turned around a millisecond too late as the thing, which happened to be an

Elf,

W:

tackled Crystal in a bear hug. They both landed with a big thump on the floor.

~ Iiiiiiiiita!!!

W: She means “itai,” which pretty much is the Japanese equivalent to “Ouch!”

Suppi-chan, what did I tell you about doing that to me while

I'm walking in the MARBLE FILLED rooms?! ~ she mock-scolded.

K: That’s where people’s marbles go when they lose them.

~ The girl

blushed. ~ Gomenasi.

K: Is this what you say when you’re apologizing to a Nazi?

W: Oof. That joke makes me feel guilty after my mentioning the concentration camps. I have to go lay down and think about happy things for a bit. (Also, she means gomen nasai.)

I wasn't thinking when I did. Demo (but), I was so happy

you're safe from your travels! ~

Legolas stared at the girl. * She must be no older then 25 to be that small! *

W: ??? Do girls have a growth spurt after age 25 or something? If so, I better prepare myself, since I’m 25 now, and in fact will be 26 in a few months.

(Okay, I was thinking, "I want Crystal to have a little sister, but I want her to be

more skilled than the average person."

W: “Okay, I want my Sue to have a five-year-old companion, but she has to be better than all the other five-year-olds.”

So I decided that in this fic, and elf may

choose how old he/she likes,

W:

as long as they have already lived that age in human

years.)

W: I have read so many stupid things. But this is still one of the stupidest.

Crystal began get annoyed when he didn't answer her. ' Hello?! Are you coming? '

Than she added slyly. ' Or does the almighty Prince know his way around everywhere,

even when he's never been here before? '

Legolas snapped out of it. When he realized the two were staring at him

oddly, he blushed, and apologized.

Crystal took him to a room, and showed him around it. There was a queen bed,

a view that over looked a beautiful lake, and a nice bathroom with towels, soap, etc.

W: Thanks for that totally not-lazy description.

"You're probably tired, so I'll leave. Feel free to go anywhere, except our

rooms, outside the gate, and wherever the others tell you not to." With that, she left

him to sort out the emotions that he hadn't felt in years.

W: “Well, I’ll put this one in the Sadness pile, and this one in the...hm...Embarrassment or Happiness?...”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

She went into the meeting room where the others were waiting. Actually, it

was a patio in the garden they had.

W: Actually, no one gave a shit.

'What DO we do, Crystal? We can't just let him stay here all happy when it

was HIM that did that to you.'

Crystal thought. ' First thing's first. We need to gain his trust. I want him to

feel the pain that I felt al those years ago.

W: You felt up someone named Al?? How could you??

K: Poor Al. You can call me, Al. And you can call me Betty.

Until then, we need to capture his friends

as well. They're on their way. I left a quite noticeable trail once we entered the

woods.' She smiled.

K: Hansel and Gretel taught her well!

'We should send a welcoming party. It's not nice to leave

your guests in the dangerous forest all by themselves.' The others laughed.

W: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EverybodyLaughsEnding

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The other rode through the forest. All were wary about the place, even the

Hobbits. Why would the trail that was Hell to follow at first, all a sudden

K[sarcastically]: Hey, you can either have one sudden or all of them. Make up your mind.

be as clear

as day?

W: Worst poem ever, I’m telling you.

As they made their way, they never felt the tiny wires begin their trek around

their bodies.

W: Well that’s disturbing. Are they alive??

Nor did they feel each one slowly and lightly knot around them...

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

As the wires wrapped around them, the Fellowship was oblivious. Boromir,

Aragorn, Gilimi,

K: I get it now! The author didn’t mention a Dwarf in chapter one because he’s canonically a mini-Balrog in this fic.

and Frodo DID sense something wrong though. * What in these

peaceful forests could possibly make me tense? There's nothing seemingly wrong.

So why am I wary? * thought Aragorn. * Probably because whatever was in here

was able to get Legolas * he thought wryly.

Suddenly, the hobbits began saying odd things. Things such as, "Can

someone give me a hand? I'm stuck," or, "Hey! I can't move!"

W: I mean, I’ve heard much odder things before, but whatever.

The others turned

W: ...to stone, and then a sudden lightning strike utterly obliterated them. The end.

to the hobbits, thinking they were joking. Boromir strode up to Frodo. "Come on,

lets not mess around anymore." As he neared Frodo, he lost the ability to move

his legs. "What the Devil?!"

K[Boromir]: Yeah, what is the Devil? I’ve never heard of such a thing, so why did I shout about it?

Soon, the others stopped moving as well. Their mounts sensed something

was amiss, and high-tailed it out of there.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

~ Crystal-sama won't be pleased. ~

~ Doshta? (why?) ~

W: “Doushita.”

The elf smiled. ~ Because these two men are giving me a hard time, keeping

them still. ~

The other laughed. ~ Someone hasn't been training lately, huh? ~

~ I guess you could say that. ~

After the 4 elves were positive that the Fellowship couldn't get loose, they

hopped down from their hiding place.

' My, my. Aren't we lucky, Yura? We set our traps for animals, and here

we caught ourselves some celebrities. '

W: Why would you name a character a Japanese name that means “farmer”? Or I guess it could be the onomatopoeia for swaying gently but whatevs

Strider thought it would be best to act calm. ' We apologize for setting off

Your

K: ...bear...

traps. Could you help us out? '

W: “This leg is pretty much done for, so you can just cut it off or something.”

The girls thought about it. Then they conversed among themselves.

K: They threw converse shoes all over.

W: It’s a hipster parade!

~ How about this. We'll let them go, but keep the wires on them. We'll

take them near the city, and when we're about 100 yds. away, we tie them back

up? ~ The others nodded.

"Why not?" Yura took a comb out of her clothes, and touched a certain

tooth on it.

W: Holy fucking shit. She did not. [sighs] Okay, guys, the author has once again stolen from InuYasha. There’s an early villain called Yura of the Hair who can control unbreakable, razor-sharp hair that is invisible to most mortals. Her true form is a cursed comb, so her “human” body is p much indestructible. This has been Wing’s Frustrated Crash Course in InuYasha, lesson 2.

The wires "magically" came off.

"Thank you..."

Diamond cut off whatever Strider was about to say. "We know what you

came for. Would you like us to show you the way?"

Gimili cut in before Aragorn could say anythiing.

K: Gimili’s special power is to cause misspellings wherever he treads.

W: Yeah, I don’t know why Aragorn would say “anythiing” otherwise.

"Wait a minute. You

wouldn't trust these four, would you? For one, they're elves. For another, they're

FEMALES.

W: “Calm the fuck down. No need to shout.”

Thirdly, they're wearing masks on their faces that give me the creeps."

K: Come on. It’s no Eyes Wide Shut situation.

(For an example of the masks a few of the masks, e-mail my friend, Crystal, at [REDACTED]@hotmail.com)

W: I bet she’s talking about Noh masks, another thing that is focused on briefly in InuYasha.

Aragorn thought. "It's the best lead we have. Might as well follow it." The

girls simply smiled. ~ Jeez, this was easier than I thought. ~

K: Okay. I can almost understand an author saying “God” or “Hell” in a LotR fanfic by accident. But “jeez?” Really?!

W: Speak for yourself, author. I’ve got a headache this big.

~ No kidding! ~

W: BUT THAT’S THE ONLY WAY I’LL SURVIVE THIS FIC!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A while later, curiosity got the best of Aragorn. " Why do you wear those

masks?"

The girls shot him a glare.

W: Aragorn crumpled to the ground with a groan of “I’VE BEEN HIT!”

~ If you must know, it is

K[girls]: ...because we miss Mardi Gras.

to hide our emotions. ~

"Pardon?"

Yura rolled her eyes. "If you don't understand what we said, that is your

own fault." Then she added slyly, "Maybe you could get..."

Diamond clapped her hand over Yura's mouth. ~ Unasi baka! (shut up stupid!)

W: “Urusai, baka.” Once again, the correct spelling AND my current sentiments towards the author.

K[Yura]: What?! You’re calling me a dummy and claiming I’m a Nazi?! What’s wrong with you?!

If you provoke them like that, he'll actually ask about it later. And we know he'll

tell him the Royal language!

W: How the fuck do you tell someone an entire language???

Crystal will choke you! ~ Yura shut up the rest of the

trip. The tense aura returned after that.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Legolas was walking around, when he stopped.

W: Bahahaha, oh my god, that’s the best sentence so far.

His jaw would be on the

floor if that were possible.

K: It’s possible… but the circumstances would have to be pretty horrific.

In front of him was the most beautiful garden in the

whole world. It wasn't kept trimmed, but it was a wild garden, so to speak.

W: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

As

he walked around, he noticed the figure near the lake. He walked toward it,

trying to get some sort of companionship.

W: “Oh, lake. You’re my only friend in the world.”

~ May I sit here with you? ~

The figure jerked with surprise.

W: “Holy shit, put yourself away!” the elf cried, hiding his scandalized eyes of undetermined color.

It was none other than Crystal herself.

~ I hope you're enjoying yourself, Legolas. ~

W: “Not as much as you just were! Holy shit!!”

~ It's been a while, hasn't it? ~

K: Well, at least it’s not a mean while.

Crystal laughed. ~ I guess you could say that. Of course, to an elf that

was nothing. A mere, what? 1,000 years or so? ~

~ That's true... ~ Legolas was relieved. It seemed that the pains had

been forgotten.

Crystal, on the other hand, was in a whole new ballgame.

W: New indeed, since I don’t think there are any ballgames in this universe.

Her

emotions reeled. It was torn between sadness, hate, betrayal, pure bliss, and

Uncertainty.

W: That’s too many fucking things, yo.

Legolas' question caught her off guard.

' Why do you wear a mask and cloak Crystal? It is as if you are hiding

from something. '

W: Uh, yeah, that’s what a mask and cloak are for. Hiding yourself.

* Or someone, * she thought wryly. Still though, she said nothing.

Legolas was confused. One moment, she was more or less talking to

him,

W: Can it be less?

and then she suddenly cold-shoulders him.

K: Well, she is Frosty.

W: YES!!

Then he asked a question

that had been plaguing him ever since the last time they met.

W: “Did you know there’s a piece of broccoli stuck between your teeth?”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Cliffhanger! In order to find out what he says, you must review! ::laughs

evilly:: Before I set up the next chapter, I want at least a total review count of 25

reviews.

W: What are you, a fucking English teacher? “I want two pages, double-spaced, 12-point font!!”

Five per chapter or half chapter that I put up.

K: She’s holding people ransom?! I hate it when fanfic authors do this. The sad thing is, it sometimes works...

Two more things. I'm working on the story on how they met from Crystal's point

of view. The other thing is that I've finished the story. Yay! I've typed all the

chapters. All I have to do is post them. That means I'll post a new chapter up every

time I see I have 5 new reviews.

W:

Please remember that I don't get on everyday

anymore,

K: With an attitude like that, I’m surprised you get on with anyone.

so if my request if fulfilled, I'll probably have about 2-5 chapters a week.

Look for Chapter 5 sometime before next Monday!

#lotr #lord of the rings #badfic #bad fanfiction #spork #mst #why fic