#Selina would wear his clothes

[shihoerusu]

I had to draw this.

.based on a incorrect quote by @oceanview15

#you know when a straight couple have a iron grip on you? y’all it’s been a year and im still here chocking #I might be a lesbian but their chemistry allows me to ignore the fact that he is a man #Selina would wear his clothes #Bruce Wayne is better when he is a malewife towards Selina #like how a grumpy broody and scary he is usually is but got Selina he is *soft* #selina kyle #batcat #bruce wayne x selina kyle #batman x catwoman #catwoman #Bruce Wayne #the batman 2022 #batman catwoman #zoelina #battison #battinson #selina wayne #batman #dc couples #brucelina #when you have to post and delete three times because you keep forgetting details in your art 😭 #incorrect quotes

[clockwayswrites]

City Pigeons Bleed Green Part 3

WC: 1861 Masterpost CW: mentions of blood, past experimentation, and torture

Duke tugged the sleeves of the hoodie he had thrown on as he rolled out of bed down over his hands. The Cave was freezing. Usually the temperature was nice. Dressing up in layers of body armor and fighting crime made a person hot and the cool air of the Cave was a relief. When pulled out of bed by an all-hands meeting it was another story and so Duke tucked himself further in the hoodie.

He was pretty sure it wasn’t even his hoodie. This family (and those let into the inner circle) were almost all clothing thieves. Duke had even caught Wally West with his missing Gotham Academy hoodie once. The weird lack of boundaries had taken some getting used to. Seeing various family members naked for decontamination showers or medical procedures helped hurry that along. It was hard to care about who’s hoddie it was was after washing off cuddle pollen together.

The roar of a bike filled the Cave and Duke didn’t even look up. He knew the sound of Red Hood’s bike.

Man, he really had been in this family too long now, he thought and buried his face in his arms. Would they notice if he just went back to sleep?

“Perhaps some tea, Master Duke?”

Guess so.

“Thanks, Alfred,” Duke said and dragged himself properly upright to accept the mug of tea. At least it was warm.

Duke sipped at the tea, his favorite blend of course, as Jason sped into the Cave like the badass bastard he was. He spun his bike to a stop in one of the open spots.

“Hood,” Bruce addressed the other, the Batman™ gravel seeped into his voice even though he was dressed down in sweats, a hoodie Duke was pretty sure was actually Jason’s, and a brace on his wrist.

They all knew what Bruce meant though: report why an all-hands was called, why Tim wasn’t there, did those of them not suited up need to, was anyone they cared about hurt?

“No, old man, you report,” Jason said as he stalked up the steps towards them. “Who the fuck were you fucking fifteen years ago?”

Duke pinched himself to make sure he was actually awake and not still in bed having the most awkward dream. Alright, well, that hurt. So much for being saved from this conversation by the T-rex suddenly coming to life and breathing fire and them having to take it down with squirt guns and pool noodles.

He’d had some weird dreams since coming to live in the manor, alright?

“Um, ask what now, little wing?” Dick asked, looking between Jason and Bruce.

“I asked what I asked,” Jason said. He’d made it to the computer and they all turned obediently to look at the screen. Jason tugged off his helmet and set it down as he leaned against the console. “Who the fuck were you sleeping with at that time, Bruce?”

Bruce stared at Jason for a long moment. “Selina, mostly. Some socialites and such maybe still. What’s going on, Jason?”

“Oracle,” Jason said, not taking his eyes Bruce. “Red should have sent you some media. You’ll get why. Throw something fitting up on the screen.”

Despite what the superhero community and Gotham thought, everyone in the Cave knew that Batman was far from unflappable. They had all pulled one over on him before. But Duke had never seen Bruce looking like that before. As that image went up on the screen, it looked like someone had just shattered his brittle heart into pieces.

Duke couldn’t blame him. The sickly looking guy on the screen made Duke want to go find someone to punch and it wasn’t his face the other was wearing.

“Holy shit,” Steph whispered.

“Father, what is the meaning of this?” Damian ordered.

“Jay?” Dick prompted when Bruce seemed unable to find the words.

Jason scowled down at the ground. “Red and I were on patrol. He noticed… blood.”

Babs brought another image up on the left monitor without prompting. It was a Gotham alley like any other except it was splattered with a green spray.

“That is Lazarus water, that is not blood,” Damian said. His words were as haughty as ever, but there was a wobble under them.

“It’s blood for him,” Jason said. “Trust me. I held the kid as Red stitched him up. Knife wound. It was the only… new wound. Oracle, did Red send you…”

A new image popped up on the left screen and Jason closed his eyes. Duke had to swallow heavily and look away himself. He got now why Jason came in demanding who Bruce had slept with. Bruce’s heart was going to break all over again.

“Who?” Cass signed. Her motion was sharp and aggressive as she pulled her thumb from her chin after the sign.

“We don’t know,” Jason said. “He was jumpy.”

The picture of the horrible injuries was replaced by a video, clearly from Red’s suit. The guy was pressed against the wall, one hand gripped tight over the wet, green stain on his hoodie. He looked dwarfed in it.

“Hey, looks like you could use some help with that wound before you bleed out,” Tim said in the video. Duke could hear how he was keeping his tone carefully light.

“…just who are you supposed to be?” The guy’s voice could barely be heard.

“You must not be from Gotham. I’m Red Robin, one of the heroes here.”

The guy snorted, curling further into himself rather than relaxing at that. “So you’re just going to hand me over to the government then?”

Everyone in the cave stiffened at that, including Jason, which was interesting.

“Why would I do that? I’m a vigilante. Do you know how illegal what I do is? I just don’t want to see you bleed out. Maybe I can even take you to a safe house where you can rest.”

“So that you can interrogate me? No thanks.”

“I mean, I’d like to know who tried to kill a kid, but that’s to make them pay, not you.”

As the guy gave a horrible laugh, Duke reached out and touched Cass’ elbow, reminding her they were all there. These sort of things always hit her hard. She sent him a grateful smile before focusing back on the screen. “Maybe I deserve it.”

The guy tensed suddenly, weight shifting like he was about to bolt as the video slumped slightly sideways.

Jason’s voice rumbled from close to the camera. “You’re what, sixteen?”

“…fifteen?”

“Uncertain,” Cass spoke. Duke had to agree, the guy didn’t know how old he was, not for sure.

“Yeah, no fifteen year old deserves to bleed out. You know who I am?”

Duke tracked the motion of the hood as it slipped. The white hair was curious, considering Bruce, but if the guy was a meta or had been in the Lazarus Pits long enough… or worse, both…

“I’m Red Hood. I protect part of this city called Crime Alley. I’m not afraid to kill a shithead, especially ones that hurt kids, but I never harm a kid,” the Jason of the video said, something they all knew was true. It was an argument still often enough on bad days. “I’ve got places to put you if you needed somewhere safe; places not in the system. Or we can get you somewhere. Do you have a place to go to?”

The guy laughed again. “That’s the thing. I do. I might, I guess. Just no one is going to believe me.”

It was Tim who asked, “Why won’t they believe you? Where do you need to get?”

After the photo earlier, they all knew what the guy would look like when he lifted his head, but it still made Duke glance over at Bruce.

“I need to get to Bruce Wayne.”

-

Jason motioned and the video stopped there and went away.

Bruce closed his eyes.

I need to get to Bruce Wayne.

Another son he didn’t know about. Another son he failed to save from a horrible childhood because he didn’t know they existed.

“He didn’t want to see you right away, but we think that Tim and I convinced him that we could arrange a meeting between you and him,” Jason said.

“Of course,” Bruce answered instantly.

Jason just gave a little nod and explained, “He doesn’t trust the offer, or us, completely. It was enough to get him to the safe house. Passed out on the way.”

“And still asleep,” Tim piped up from the computer. “I’ve been running analysis on the… collar he’s wearing. It’s definitely a one off, but very professionally made. There’s, well, there was a tracker in it that’s been crushed. It’s meant to deliver a shock if someone messes with it, but I can disable that long enough to remove it.”

“You should wait until one of is is there,” Duke spoke up. “Just… in case there’s a reaction when it’s removed.”

Duke ducked his head when all eyes turned to him, still bashful as the newest member of the family. Bruce had been trying to reassure the other, but he knew that was far from his own strength. Clearly he needed to try a different approach.

“Just, you know, he’s clearly a meta? Of some type? It’s probably a containment collar and it could release a, you know, backlog? Of power?”

“Good thinking,” Bruce assured Duke.

“Someone better get here quick then. I hate seeing this thing on him,” Tim grumbled. At least he agreed.

Bruce looked back at the photo still on the center screen to the pale, drawn face. Even in sleep his son’s face was etched with pain.

“Bruce?” Dick prompted.

Bruce took a breath and made himself focus, to be Batman, not a grieving father. How often had he had to make that choice? “Dick, you and Jason both should go. Tim, as soon as the collar is off I want you and Oracle working on it but stay mindful of traps.”

“Will do,” Tim replied.

“And what of the rest of us?” Damian asked.

His youngest had come so far, but Bruce knew this would be a big disruption for him. They would have to watch him. He caught Cass’ eyes and she gave the slightest nod.

“I want Robin, Batgirl, and Spoiler out on the streets. Don’t ask questions yet, we don’t want to lead anyone to him, but get a sense of the mood around the big players. If this is already on anyone’s radar, I want to know.”

“And you need to make a list,” Jason said. “Kid talked in his sleep, begged his mom to stop. Could just be nightmares…”

“I’ll make one,” Bruce said. His bedroom proclivities were hardly what the papers reported, but with how this new son wasn’t certain of his age, it could be pre-Dick, or even at the start of Dick joining the family. It certainly meant there would be more names then any of the years later on. Whoever it was though, Bruce would find them.

He had to try and do that much for his son.

--- AN: Not entirely sure about Bruce's part here, but he's always harder for me to write! I think goal is to get at least one POV with all of the kids, so I guess Dick's is next likely! I'm super fuzzy today (fatigue, day fuck it, seven? Eight? Of this headache), so I hope this is at least decent~

Stay delightful, darlings!

I no longer tag, but you can subscribe to the masterpost to be notified!

#dp x dc #batpham #city pigeons #trauma tuesday

[incorrectbatfam]

How does the BatFam get revenge on Damian after those roasts

(previous post)

Stephanie: Whoops, almost mistook you for a tardigrade there. Get it? 'Cause they're microscopic.

Damian: Tardigrades are functionally immortal and can survive ecological extremes, so you just admitted to my evolutionary superiority.

[Attempt #1 - FAILED]

———————

Barbara: Robin, you missed the Riddler by a minute. Next time, don't spend so long looking through the GameStop window.

Damian: Batwoman's tracker says she was closer. Next time, do your job instead of wasting time on a comeback.

[Attempt #2 - FAILED]

———————

Tim: Quit leaving your pet stuff everywhere or you're gonna turn this place into a pigsty.

Damian: How dare you insult pigs?!

Damian: *grabs a knife*

[Attempt #3 - FAILED]

———————

Bruce: Damian, your tie is tangled like a hairball.

Damian: Says the man with his fly down.

[Attempt #4 - FAILED]

———————

Dick: You're too young to be watching this movie. It says it's rated PG.

Damian: Okay, Boomer.

[Attempt #5 - FAILED]

———————

Duke: We already got Red Hood and Red Robin. At least try to come up with something more original than Redbird.

Damian: It's better than being named after a glorified spotlight.

[Attempt #6 - FAILED]

———————

Jason: Damian, I found you in a movie.

Jason: *plays Gremlins*

Damian: *points to the ugliest character*

Damian: You really should have an IMDb page.

[Attempt #7 - FAILED]

—————���—

Cassandra: Your clothes are like a baby's.

Damian: At least I don't wear feet beans.

[Attempt #8 - FAILED]

———————

Selina: Weird, normally my cats like people. Oh well, there's a first for everything.

Damian: Have you noticed they only go to you when you have food?

[Attempt #9 - FAILED]

———————

Alfred: Remember, Master Damian, just because you can say it doesn't mean you should. Otherwise I would have many a word with you.

[Attempt #10 - SUCCESS]

#damian wayne #robin #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #stephanie brown #barbara gordon #cassandra cain #alfred pennyworth #selina kyle #bruce wayne #batman #batfamily #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfam #batbros #batboys #batgirls #batkids #batsiblings #batman family #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #dc comics #headcanon #ask #tw insults

[bibibusinessman]

What members of the batfam would wear to Bruce’s charity galas.

Dick: nice suit blue tie

Jason: wouldn’t show up

Tim: designer custom suit

Steph: lilac pantsuit

Cass: she didn’t know it was a gala night and came downstairs in her dance clothes

Damian: Bruce picked out his outfit and forced him to wear it

Duke: nice suit yellow tie but accidentally wore his old Jordan’s instead of dress shoes

Barbara: was to busy. Wouldn’t tell the family where she was. She may have been on a date or killing someone we will never know.

Kate: attempted to go but was stopped by Alfred because she has blood in her hair

Alfred: normal butler clothes

Bruce: designer custom suit

Selina: tight black dress

#batfamily #dick grayson #jason todd #batdad #batman #cassandra cain #duke thomas #kate kane #stephanie brown #tim drake #damian wayne #barbara gordon #selina kyle #bruce wayne #bruce x selina #catwoman

[6rookie-writer0110]

Love and The Moon

Clark Kent x Male Reader

Request - Clark Kent (Henry) x male magic reader, them just both being hopeless romantics.

You have been away for two weeks and you are finally home. You used magic to get home faster and Clark is in the living room.

“Y/n, you are back!” Clark smiled.

“I missed you” You smiled back.

Clark wrapped his arms around you and he starts to kiss you. You start to smile and he hugged you tight. For a minute or two Clark still had his arms around you.

“Just glad you are back,” Clark said.

“Me too. I'm hungry” You said.

“Get comfortable and I will cook dinner. I found this new reprice, I think you would enjoy” Clark said.

“Oh, my boyfriend the chef” You smiled.

You head to the bedroom to change clothes, while Clark starts to cook dinner. A few minutes later, you come out of the bedroom wearing pajamas. You watch him cook and he starts to talk about what he is cooking.

After dinner, you and Clark cuddle in bed. You have your head on his chest, and you two don't pay attention to the movie. You and Clark just started to talk about everything.

---

Clark was busy fighting aliens and criminals. His suit got ruined and he takes off the top piece because it got ruined.

“What happened to your suit?” You asked.

You noticed the cape has holes and so does the sleeves.

“I was fighting an alien who spits out acid. Y/n, are you staring at my chest?” Clark said.

“No, I'm listening to what you said,” You said.

Clark laughed and you were staring at his chest.

“Y/n,” Clark said.

“What? Okay, fine I was staring at your chest” You smiled.

“I knew it” Clark smiled.

“I think you should maybe, upgrade your suit?” You said.

“Maybe. You think you can help with the suit?” Clark said.

“Sure,” You said.

You used your magic to fix his suit and the cape. Now the suit looks brand new and he starts to smile. Clark wrapped his arms around you and starts to kiss you.

---

You and Clark are having breakfast and he is drinking his coffee.

“I forgot to put sugar in my coffee,” Clark said.

“You don't have to get up,” You said.

You used your magic to get the sugar and the sugar pour into his coffee. The sugar lands on the table gently and Clark used the spoon to stir his coffee.

“I like having a boyfriend who has magic” Clark smiled.

You winked at him and he starts to smile. Later, you and Clark go out and he would hold your hand. You and Clark do take selfies together, in one of the pictures he kissed your cheek and you smiled.

✬ ✬ ✬ ✬

Bruce is having a Christmas party at his mansion. Everyone agreed to do the Secret Santa gift exchange, and Clark got Barry Allen and you got Arthur Curry.

“You think, Arthur will like it?” You asked.

“I think he would like it,” Clark said.

You give Arthur his gift and he starts to open it, then he smiled.

“Y/n, I love it!” Arthur smiled.

He puts on the leather vest and he can't stop smiling. He gives you a strong hug and you can't move your arms.

“Thank you for the gift, Y/n!” Arthur smiled.

“Glad you like it. You can stop hugging me now, I can't feel my arms” You said.

Clark starts to laugh and Arthur did let go of you.

“Y/n, I didn't know what to get for you so I got this for you,” Selina said.

“Thanks, Selina,” You said.

She gave you a Christmas card and inside it's a gift card for a bookstore.

“I don't what you are into, besides Clark. But I figured you might like to read since you use magic... So, I thought you might like books” Selina said.

“I like the gift, again thank you and it was nice of you to do it,” You said.

She kissed your cheek and walked away. It started to snow and everyone goes outside, some people start to play in the snow. Someone started a snowball fight now everyone is throwing snow at each other. You got targeted by Jason Todd, Barry Allen, and Damian Wayne they start to throw snowballs at you.

“Too slow, Y/n” Barry laughed.

“Oh, this means war,” You said.

Damian threw a snowball at your chest. Your eyes start to change colors and your hands start to glow. You used your magic, to form snowballs now snowmen starting to get formed, and they start to throw snowballs at guys. Damian, Barry, and Jason start to fight back.

----

You came home and Clark kissed you on the lips.

“I made dinner” Clark smiled.

“It does smell good,” You said.

He still has his arms around you and you start to smile at him. Then he starts to set the table and you used your magic to get the food out of the oven. Then you and Clark sit down and start to eat, he starts to ask about your day.

Later, you and Clark go to the movie theater. While waiting for the movie to start, Clark plays the claw machine and he is trying to win a prize for you. It took a while but Clark didn't get the prize, but you kissed him on the lips.

“Thanks for trying,” You said.

“I was close” Clark smiled.

#clark kent imagine #clark kent x reader #clark kent x male reader #x male reader #male!reader #male reader #superman imagine #superman x reader #superman x male reader #clark kent fluff #clark kent fanfiction

[venuscnjunctpluto]

Observations Pt 7.

Credits: @venuscnjunctpluto

* Jesse’s Lilith is in Billie’s 12th house. This is such scary synastry to me because you don’t see how the Lilith person can be manipulating you or even trying to seduce you.

*scorpio risings have something noticeable about their ‘glabella’ (space in btw the eyes specifically the smooth area above the nose I had to Google it lol) I notice Scorpio risings have glabella’s that protrude which makes their eyes even more noticeable and intense. And it makes them look like a skunk lol (ex: Taylor swift, dita von teese, Natalie Portman, Chaka Khan, and Sydney Sweeney)

*moon square Venus people are the epitome of Candy Heron in mean girls. They end up in friendships and relationships that worse their emotional well-being. It’s usually summed up to them not being able to be themselves around their “friends” or partners.

*libra risings have pudgy noses with smaller nostrils while Aries risings have defined noses with larger nostrils. You can usually guess these two by their noses

*Capricorn rising women 🤝 elaborate ponytails, long braids, bangs idk their hair gives off power puff girl vibes

*the way Pisces placements get talked to is ridiculous to me. People will talk to them like literal children which is very demeaning.

*simone biles just got married congrats to her! Her husband has so many prominent cancer placements and 0 degree libra mars. Civilized cardinal placements have such big husband/wife energy it’s insane. Very romantic and taking the time you learn you as a person. They also have Venus trine Venus, mars conjunct mars, moon conjunct moon synastry 💕

*kelis is the perfect example of a Leo dominant. She wears so many vibrant colors, dyed her hair often, and always carried confident aura.

*I notice Scorpio Venus women defend plastic surgery and those who get it. I know three of them who defend the kardashians like crazy (even though ppls problem is the lying about surgery but anywho). I think it’s bc they would get plastic surgery as well if they could.

*venus-uranus/aqua Venus placements make friends so easily it’s insane. They’ll get reposted on social media a lot as well.

*Ik this guy with cupido conjunct mars and he’s a huge flirt and player. I have cupido conjunct mars and I think it attracts players towards me it’s been so many situations a guy has tried to hide his player tendencies but I always found out eventually. I think this is a red flag placement🚩🚩🚩🚩

*i have cupido in the 8th so does Barack Obama, Ryan gosling, Rihanna, Monica Bellucci, Elizabeth Taylor, Cardi B. This might be a very seductive placement these ppl probably go all in when they’re attracted to someone. Or they might use their sexuality to get their crushes.

*zoe kravitz playing Selina Kyle and having Venus conjunct pluto makes sense. She can pull off darker looks and I notice women w this look like cats. Ryan destiny is also a good example of this.

* a lot of my celeb crushes I have their Venus in my 1st. Matthew Gary gubler, Rob Lowe, Prince, Johnny depp, Cillian Murphy etc…the house person can admire the Venus persons’s style.

*uranus-asc have something unique about their appearance and usually it’s a cleft chin (ex: Ben Affleck, Troian Bellisario, Adele) I have this aspect as well and I have one

*virgo venuses 🤝 wearing black clothes and glasses

*sag venuses 🤝wearing goofy graphic t-shirts

*hilaria baldwin has a sag venus and obviously that’s a indicator of being into other cultures. I notice ppl who tend to be fixated on or appropriate other cultures have sag or aqua venuses *insert timothee chalamet’s rap video lol*

*in defense of Austin butlers sexy voice…a lot of Taurus risings have voice changes or issues. Miley Cyrus’s voice has gotten incredibly deeper as well because she developed a condition. Unpopular opinion I think his voice just changed😭

* Saturn-asc and people thinking you’re older bc you are reserved. They’re the kid who sat down quietly and read books or knitted while everybody else was running around. Even when we have other carefree placements our Saturn-asc makes them barely noticeable at all during first impressions. We also love vintage clothing (ex: Keith powers) I saw a similar post but I agree that this can make someone’s rising traits develop more as they get older. As an Aries rising I didn’t start working out or asserting myself more until I got older.

Stars with Venus-asc tend to be really charismatic and funny during interviews. (Ex: Rihanna, keke Palmer, Megan the stallion, and lizzo)

*saturn-sun people have very strict fathers or male figures who tried to control them a lot growing up. This can make them very hard on themselves as they get older and I notice a lot of lawyers have major Saturn aspects.

* two prominent stem malfunctions (challenger explosion and the Columbia explosion) happened during Aquarius season

#astro observations #astro community #Lilith #moon square Venus #Pisces #Leo

[suzukiblu]

I haven't been posting because this week has absolutely sucked, so here, for all our sakes, have the expanded version WIP of Bruce Wayne and the alternate Kon who showed up on his doorstep and isn't answering to "Superboy".

Read-more for length.

Bruce opens the front door of the manor and Kon-El is standing on the steps in unassuming civilian clothes that don't look like they belong either on a farm or at a punk concert, a cheap duffel bag slung over his shoulder and his hands jammed tight into his pockets, body language unsettled and uncomfortable. 

"I'll call Tim down," Bruce says, already resigned to putting up with the kid at dinner tonight and breakfast in the morning. Every time he shows up looking like this, Tim refuses to let him leave before a full twenty-four hours are up. 

"Please don't," Kon says tightly, and Bruce . . . pauses. Looks at him more closely. 

Processes. 

There's a faint little unfamiliar scar on Kon's face. A thin white line splitting his left eyebrow, as if someone actually hit him hard enough to bleed. He's not wearing any earrings, and the scattered piercings that should be in his ears . . . aren't. There's one, but only one. His build is off. A little less brute strength in it; a little more flexibility. He's standing like he doesn't know how to fight. 

And, again: the scar. 

When and how did anyone actually cut him like that? 

"'Don't'?" Bruce repeats, his eyes just barely narrowing. 

"There were eighty-four pearls," Kon says, and Bruce's gut goes cold. 

Tim didn't teach him that. Tim would never. None of them would ever. Even Jason was never angry or bitter or broken enough to compromise that code. 

So someone else taught it to him. 

"The doctor is out," Bruce replies by rote, perfectly neutral, and Kon's shoulders sag with . . . relief. He's relieved. He didn't know if Bruce would know what he was saying. 

He wanted Bruce to know what he was saying. 

"I'm sorry," Kon says, swallowing roughly. "I fucked up real bad this time, B." 

That's not something Kon's ever called him. The look on his face isn't an expression Kon's ever directed at him. 

This isn't Kon. 

"Name," Bruce orders, just as perfectly neutral. 

"Jackson Kyle," Kon mutters, his eyes slanting away guiltily. Bruce is in no way inattentive or oblivious enough to miss either Tim's middle name or Selina's last one in that answer, much less the guilt. "Technically." 

"Technically?" Bruce asks, not even bothering with a pointed tone, and "Jackson's" mouth twists. He doesn't bring his eyes back to Bruce's face. 

"That's not what you call me," he says. 

"Inside," Bruce says, stepping back from the doorway. Jackson swallows again, visibly steeling himself, then steps across the threshold. Bruce doesn't ask why what "he" calls him is more his name than the technical answer is, and doesn't ask what "he" calls him either. 

That's the whole damn point of that code phrase, after all. 

"Report," Bruce orders as soon as he closes the door, and Jackson shifts his center of balance and stops standing like he doesn't know how to fight. 

And meets Bruce's eyes again, too. 

"Alternate reality," Jackson says, and sounds just like any one of them when the worst has happened. "Things went–bad. Level Omega, final phase. You ordered me to take the out. I said no, and you shoved me through anyway." 

Of course he did, Bruce thinks. 

Jackson would've died with that version of him, otherwise. 

"Solo flight?" he checks without any actual hope for a merciful answer. Not if Jackson had to be forced to take the out. 

"Yes, sir," Jackson says, his hands curling into fists at his sides and his mouth going tight. "Nightwing was already–it was solo." 

Bruce doesn't imagine a version of himself that had to bury Dick. 

That didn't have time to bury Dick, more than likely. 

"Downstairs for decontamination, containment procedures, and questioning," he says. Jackson nods, short and efficient. He doesn't protest the precautions. 

Maybe Kon would've, but Bruce doesn't actually know him well enough to know. 

This version of the kid knows all about him, though, doesn't he. 

He takes Jackson to his study. They don't run into Tim or Alfred on the way, and no one else is in the manor right now. 

That's for the best. 

Bruce looks at Jackson. Waits. Jackson glances at him, then to the grandfather clock. 

Its hands move. Tactile telekinesis, obviously. 

And 10:48. 

Obviously. 

The door to the cave opens. 

So yes, Jackson knows all about him, and the manor, and the cave, and who knows what else. 

Bruce walks through the door. Jackson follows him, bag and all, and Bruce can't hear either his clothes rustling or his footsteps on the stairs behind him. He doesn't bother pretending the kid is flying. He knows he's not. 

He walks down the stairs to the cave floor. Walks to the computer. Turns to look back at Jackson, who, yes, is not flying. 

He waits. 

Jackson stops in the middle of the floor. He drops his bag and strips off his clothes without any sign of modesty or hesitation, then takes both bag and clothes to the autoclave, shoves them into it, locks the outer seal, and activates the sterilization process. Then he heads for the decontamination showers. Bruce follows him. He's not ready to let the kid out of his sight. 

Jackson very obviously knows where everything in the cave is. Knows how everything in the cave works. 

Knows it by reflex; by heart.

Watching him move through the place like a ghost haunting its own graveyard is not an experience that Bruce is enjoying.

Jackson walks into the decontamination showers, flicks the first one on, and goes through the exact scrub-down process that Bruce has taught every single one of them. He's efficient and effective, and doesn't either rush through or take his time with it. 

Bruce waits in the doorway and doesn't wonder what's in the duffel bag, or why Jackson didn't unpack it before throwing it into the autoclave. 

He knows what's in the duffel bag. 

Of course he does. 

Jackson finishes the scrub-down process and turns off the shower. The water all sluices off his body all at once and spatters down against the tile floor, leaving his hair and skin completely dry. Tactile telekinesis, again. No noticeable gesture to direct it, though; not even a glance this time. And not a potential application of it that Bruce was aware of either, though perhaps one he should've extrapolated. 

Bruce steps back from the doorway and Jackson leaves the showers. He still doesn't seem concerned to be naked. 

"Where's Jason?" he asks carefully. The nonsequitur makes absolutely no sense to Bruce, until Jackson's eyes flick to where the memorial–isn't, anymore. 

"Stakeout," Bruce replies neutrally, refraining from providing a location, and Jackson . . . blinks.

"Oh," he says, just barely frowning. "But . . . Tim's here." 

"It's complicated," Bruce says. Jackson's frown deepens, but he doesn't ask any more questions. He heads for the locker room and Bruce follows after. Bruce suspects he only diverted from SOP enough to ask about Jason because he already knew about Tim's presence in the manor. Kon is . . . irrational, about Tim. It's not difficult to believe that Jackson might share that particular character flaw. 

Especially given his name. 

Jackson walks past Tim's locker without stopping. Bruce doesn't think for a moment that he doesn't know who it belongs to. Jackson goes to the back and opens one of the lockers with spare clothes inside, and that . . . he pauses after that, for some reason. 

He doesn't say anything, though, and then he just checks through the clothing labels neatly and efficiently until he finds options that'll fit and takes them out. He doesn't seem concerned with anything but the sizes, which seems . . . odd, for Kon. 

But this isn't Kon, Bruce reminds himself.

Jackson pulls on a pair of light gray sweatpants and a long-sleeved black shirt. They don't belong to Jason, but Bruce put them into that locker with Jason in mind. They don't fit Jackson quite as tightly as they'd likely fit Kon. 

They're soft, Bruce knows. And warm, too. 

It's a useless thing to think, but he thinks it anyway because this is a boy from a final-phase Level Omega reality whose Batman forced to take the out; a boy who knows exactly how many pearls there were and exactly what time his parents died and exactly where Jason's memorial used to stand in the cave. 

A boy who doesn't want to see Tim, but is carrying a part of his name. 

But that name isn't what his Batman called him. 

"Containment," Bruce instructs as Jackson closes the locker. He doesn't think it's a necessary instruction, given how perfectly Jackson's been following procedure so far, but he's thinking about the way the kid showed up looking and the way he had to brace himself before he could cross the threshold of the manor and just how perfectly he's been following procedure. 

"Yes, sir," Jackson says, turning back towards him and pushing up the sleeves of the soft black shirt that doesn't belong to Jason. "But, uh . . . the standard protocols might not work." 

Bruce doesn't realize what he means for a moment, and then he remembers the obvious issue–alternate reality. Different Earth. The standard protocols for a Kryptonian unknown involve blue kryptonite, and their reality's kryptonite likely won't affect Jackson. 

That's . . . a concern. One he should've thought of immediately. 

Eighty-four pearls, though. 

Magic, Bruce reminds himself. Magic would still work. Or red sunlight. Hell, he could just call Clark over right now. Kon-El isn't a Superman-level threat, at least not yet. It's unlikely Jackson Kyle is either. 

He was with a Batman, though. 

Bruce isn't sure what kind of results to expect from that. 

He does consider actually calling Clark, but Jackson clearly isn't a Super. Jackson is . . . 

Jackson is his responsibility. No one else's. 

And Jackson came to him, not Clark. 

"The promethium restraints," Bruce says evenly. 

"Yes, sir," Jackson says, and still doesn't protest the precautions. Then he stills, his eyes flicking towards the stairs. "Someone just opened the clock. I don't–know their heartbeat." 

"Tim and Alfred are the only ones in the manor right now," Bruce tells him. 

Jackson . . . swallows. Flicks his eyes back to him. 

And, Bruce notes, away from the stairs. 

"Then it's Tim," Jackson says. Which means he doesn't know Tim's heartbeat. Which means he's likely never heard it before, even though he knows who Tim is. 

How old had Tim been before Kon had developed super-hearing? 

Not old enough, Bruce already knows. 

"Maintain standard distance," he says. Jackson has to be more than fast enough to hurt or kill Tim from anywhere in the cave before Bruce could even hope to stop him, but that's not why he says it. He's . . . establishing something. 

Or testing it. 

"Yes, sir," Jackson says, still without protest. Bruce is feeling increasingly wary over that level of compliance, given that one of Kon's most reliably present coping mechanisms has always been stubborn defiance.

Then again, the last time Jackson defied a Batman's orders was the last time he ever saw the man. And Bruce doesn't know the full extent of whatever relationship the two of them had, but they clearly had one. 

Jackson's last name is Kyle, for fuck's sake. 

And he knew exactly how many pearls there were. 

Bruce looks towards the stairs. He knows Tim's pace; knows just when to expect him to come into view. Jackson keeps his own eyes on him, nowhere near the stairs, and stays perfectly silent. He doesn't so much as shift his weight. 

"Uh . . . is something wrong?" Tim asks warily as soon as he's visible, because him being visible means he can see Jackson himself, of course, and also of course he's not seeing Jackson yet.

And Bruce has never brought Kon down to the cave like this. Kon's only actually been in here about as many times as he's been on-deck for a Gotham-centered all-hands, in fact, which has not been many. 

"Yes," Bruce says. Jackson's jaw tightens. Tim frowns. 

"What's going on?" he asks. 

"Unidentified alternate reality went Level Omega and hit final phase," Bruce says, then links his hands behind his back and tips his head towards Jackson with a neutral expression. He's not interested in drawing out the explanation, for more than a few reasons. "Refugee reporting in. Solo flight." 

". . . what?" Tim says blankly. "But that's . . ." 

"Tim Drake, Jackson Kyle," Bruce introduces bluntly. "Jackson Kyle, Tim Drake. Red Robin." 

Jackson's scarred eyebrow twitches once, but he doesn't otherwise visibly react. 

Or look at Tim. 

"'Jackson'?" Tim repeats, looking bewildered. He seems to have forgotten to finish coming down the stairs. "And–solo flight? How did you even . . . ?"

"He was ordered to take the out," Bruce says. "Didn't comply, so his Batman forced the issue. Been through decontamination; moving onto containment and questioning." 

"That's not the protocol for a Super," Tim says, his eyes narrowing in suspicion. "Not any version of a Super." 

"When we have a Super on our hands, we'll enact the relevant protocols for one," Bruce replies evenly. 

"Shit," Tim says.

#bruce wayne #kon el #batman #superboy #batfamily #tim drake #dc robin #rinfic #wip: jackson kyle

[c-nstantine]

I Know

Description: Bruce is having an affair with his assistant, Y/N.

Warnings: Roughly inspired by the song by Big Sean and Fitz and Olivia's relationship on Scandal, a dash of slutshaming

Word Count: 0.9k

Y/N would not describe herself as a hoe but if the Louboutin he bought fits, then wear them. Sleeping with arguably the most powerful man in the world would always be exciting. However, the excitement increases tenfold when this man is your boss and in a long-term relationship. Being Bruce Wayne's personal assistant is an experience that Y/N never saw herself having, yet here she was.

"Mr. Wayne, Ms. Kyle is here to see you," Y/N said letting Selina into Bruce's office. She smiled at Selina as if they were passing each other in the hallway and not as if she was sleeping with Selina's long-term partner. In all honesty, Y/N had no idea if Selina knew about Bruce's affair but who was she to be the bearer of bad news?

Bruce's eyes lingered on the doorway before shifting his focus to Selina. He was sure that he loved Selina Kyle, somewhere deep down but part of him wish that he had waited to meet Y/N. They could've had them on life but now he felt stuck and torn between two women.

Y/N returned to her desk and checked her makeup in the compact. Her slick-back puff complimented her business attire and her makeup was rather simple today. A button-up blouse tucked into a pencil skirt with red bottom pumps, the choice being compliments of the boss himself.

"Have a good day, Ms. Kyle," Y/N said as she watched Selina walk out of Bruce's office and into the elevator. Selina simply returned a smile. It's a shame that she didn't know how petty Y/N was being.

"Y/N, come in here please," Bruce called for her over the phone. She stood up and took the time to smooth out her clothing before walking back into his office.

"What can I do for you, Mr. Wayne?" She always got goosebumps when it was just the two of them. He motioned for her to come closer and that's when Y/N locked the door behind her. Sitting on top of his desk with her legs crossed, Y/N was a breath of fresh air to him.

"Selina is going to fashion week in Paris," Bruce spoke looking up from his office chair. there was a kind of hunger in his eyes. The kind of hunger that Selina couldn't feed, only Y/N could feed his need for love and affection.

"Is that so?" Y/N's eyes pierced into Bruce's steele blue ones. Oh, he was in deep with her. She would drown him and he'd willingly go into the tide.

"Mhm. We could go out for dinner, and then you could stay in the manor for the week," Bruce said as his hand ever so gently caressed her thigh. The stark coldness of his hand sent waves through her warm brown thigh.

"As enticing as that sounds, you have kids and you don't go out in public with your mistress," She placed her hand on top of his and something felt so right. The world around them seemed to disappear and with it his responsibilities to his company, his kids, his partner, and his duty to the city of Gotham. Only her lingered in his mind.

"The kids are out of the house for the next two weeks, all with their own various excuses. You know, I hate it when you call yourself that," He wished he met her sooner. He wished he wasn't as traumatized as he was so he could give her some semblance of a normal life but he couldn't, not yet, at least.

"Then what would you call me? Your sneaky link?" Y/N teased with a small smile that wasn't real. She believed her time with him would be limited. She didn't doubt the fact that Bruce would one day marry Selina, either leaving her in the dust or they'd continue the affair.

"That is somehow worse. You know I love you," Bruce's hand left her thigh and Y/N missed his touch. He fumbled in his desk drawer, shuffling several papers around.

"Is that what you said to her?" She was defensive because he tore down her walls but wasn't fully committed to her. He practically worshipped the ground she walked on but she wasn't his only idle.

"No, but it is why I'm giving you a ring before her," Bruce pulled a Tiffany box from his drawer and opened it in front of her. Y/N's eyes widened and her mouth fell slightly open.

"What?" Y/N said in shock

"This is a promise ring," Bruce spoke as he placed it on her finger.

"Bruce, I-" Her eyes were teary and her voice was shot.

"I promise that in one year, I will be completely yours and we won't have to do any of this. No more sneaking around and no more lying. We'd get married and then maybe a baby, "The last part about the baby may have been a lie but if Y/N asked him to destroy the moon, he'd do it so a baby seemed like a small sacrifice.

"Are you only saying what I want to hear so I'll stay?" He was telling her what she wanted to hear so she stay with him but it was true. He had devised a plan to leave Selina and finally have Y/N fully in his arms.

"I'd never lie to you," Which in itself was a lie, but it put a smile on her face.

#bruce wayne #bruce wayne x reader #bruce wayne x black!reader #bruce x black reader #black!reader #bruce wayne x black reader #batman #batman x black reader #black reader #batman x black!reader #c-nstantine

[moider-time]

Model Bruce AU

As a kid, Bruce always enjoyed dressing up in Thomas and Martha's clothes. They taught him that clothing isn't specific to a gender so if he wants to wear suits or skirts, tights or trousers, it's all ok. Martha would love taking him shopping and trying on clothes.

One of his fondest memories is of the three of them dressed up as the Three Good Fairies from Sleeping Beauty for a Halloween charity gala. After they died, he framed all of their outfits and hung them up in his study.

He meets Selina in college. He wants to be a doctor and she wants to be a vet. She also has a hobby of sewing and making clothes and he got suckered into being her mannequin. Harley helped with the suckering. To this day, Harley says she got him his first gig cause she introduced the two of them. Bruce never denies it.

The first time he models is for a university fashion show. The winner gets 5 thousand dollars donated to a charity of their choosing and as Selina says "the kitties need their money". It takes a lot of convincing though. Trying on her clothes is one thing but walking a runway? Yeah that's totally different and Bruce definitely panics a little about that. Harley, Bruce and Selina have a whole Model Bootcamp which is basically trying on heels and watching America's Next Top Model.

The theme is 'Red Carpet After-party' and so Selina dresses him in a two piece, floor length dress with a navy lace top and a navy skirt with gold sequins and strappy gold heels. Also gold hair tips and a shimmery navy eye shadow, and his nails match his skirt. (Idk if y'all can tell but I suck at describing clothes)

To cut a long story short, they demolish at that fashion show. Bruce, after a pep talk from Harley and Selina while Harvey was standing there drooling, makes that runway his bitch. He walks like a hooker trying to make her quota. If he wasn't the campus hottie before, he is now. He and Selina eventually go their separate ways but they always look back on that day fondly.

And he gets a lot of offers from big time modelling agencies. They say all the things like he has "potential" and they wanna turn him into "a star" but, while he found it fun, he kinda just wants to do something small. He chooses a small cologne brand that Alfred likes. Alfred tears up at this which makes Bruce tear up and well they're both messes.

They dress him in a smart suit with deep purple eyeshadow to match the bottle of the cologne. His nails get a silver coat like the cover of the bottle. That cologne ad gets so much attention that the business nearly runs out of bottles.

He gets asked if this modelling thing is just a phase, he gets shamed for his clothing and makeup and he generally just gets badgered. He replies the same to all of them "I like doing it so I'm gonna do it"

He kind of a jack of all trades. He models clothes, colognes and perfume, jewellery, shoes, nail polish,(lingerie 😏), he's even appeared in ads for games and toys. He once got all dolled up only to play with Lego but it was so much fun.

Not that Bruce never walks the runway again. He does it for charity, whenever Harley blackmails him into doing it and whenever he feels like. He took Harley with him to every fashion week cause he goes nowhere without his makeup artist.

Nobody could ever connect Batman and Bruce Wayne because while Bruce is a bit shy, he's very graceful while there are too many YouTube compilations of Batman tripping over himself or walking into things.

( @bruciemilf )

#dc #batman #bruce wayne #model bruce au #battinson #selina kyle #catwoman #harley quinn #harleen quinzel #martha wayne #thomas wayne #alfred pennyworth #harvey dent #two face #oh and you know who else is a model? #KORI #bruce and kori met multiple times while modelling and swapped tips #meeting him was extraordinary for her #they both do a collab with idk gucci or louis vuitton and the world sets ablaze

[fractualized]

Today in TMWSL #10, we get half our answer and also Joker in a skirt again! Look how happy he is.

Spoilers and violence, yadda yadda…

We open with Black Mask interrogating a police officer about what the Commissioner did with his men, but it quickly becomes clear something is wrong!

Joker (our favorite Sewer Rat one) comes over the speaker in Roman's office (?) in the fashion of a flight crew, as Roman manages to get a gas mask.

And our boy makes his entrance as grandly as always.

With the henchmen dispatched, Joker starts to tell Roman about his complaints.

And here's where I bring up Gotham War, and how I guess this is happening at the beginning of Bruce's 2-month unconsciousness after Knight Terrors, right as Selina is starting to steal all the henchmen and train them to be Good Nonviolent Thieves. Because here it's alleged that all the Gotham bosses are still doing fine getting their underlings and it's just Joker who isn't. I have to assume that because otherwise the inconsistency would be another reason to dunk on Gotham War and who would do that!

Anyway, we cut to Wesker who is collecting clues from the men Joker did manage to round up about where the other Joker came from.

C'mon, Scarface! They're probably doing their best! Besides, you've got other things to worry about. 

Jason, noooooooooo! He's just a lil murderous conniving puppet! He can reform! He can do a YouTube series about mob history!

As for Joker, we know where he is. I mean, one of them.

It looks like, for some reason, Joker is giving this cop Lazarus resin, assuming @clownprince's theory about where Joker #2 came from is where all this is going. Though it doesn't explain why Joker is reviving this cop. Not yet….

Also lookit them heels!

Anyway, Joker is looking for clues about his doppelganger with Roman personally, which implies he has a strong feeling Roman of all people has key info?

Oh right, Joker doesn't know the other guy is back in town. But unfortunately Joker #2 knows his twin has wrangled up some friends and is having his own friends, er, de-wrangle them.

In a way, they're just making room for Mr. Waffles' defection!

At least Joker gets to feel himself in this outfit before he figures out his scrappy crew is already being dispatched.

Look, I don't know what Wesker is alleged to be up to but I don't think Joker has a leg to stand on calling him a pervert.

Anyway, Jason brings down Joker's mood. 🙁

Ooh, I love when Di Giandomenico gets him all dark like that.

Joker does manage to get in touch with Shocky back at the warehouse and tells him to get everyone back there.

SHOCKY ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW. … Also who are you and how did you of all people manage to find out??

Sadly AND PREDICTABLY, we cut to the warehouse and Shocky has also been attacked by persons unknown. Jason, Steph, and Ravager are already on the scene. And then Manhunter shows up and nobody has any chill so they all get into a fight. Steph manages to calm everything down.

They compare notes and realize they're tracking the activities of two different Jokers. More importantly, they realize Shocky is alive! And we see Joker watching from the rafters.

At first I wondered if Joker didn't like what Shocky told him and tried to kill him, but nah, it looks like the warehouse got hit by Joker #2's crew. And I think they took Fake Jackanapes because he's nowhere to be seen, but per #12's cover he does appear to be back with Joker. Hmmm...

All four heroes are conspicuously absent when Shocky gets taken to the hospital, but Joker hitches a ride on the roof of the ambulance. From flight attendant mode to gremlin mode!

In a completely impractical way of figuring out what Shocky knows, Joker decides to interrupt his surgery in a new costume. I'm not sure if he had time to change into the cops' clothes outside or if he was wearing the first cop's uniform under his Sewer Rat outfit. I am sure that Mimi does not care!

Joker shoots the doctor because he has not learned any lessons about why he has no friends, and gets to the big question.

GODDAMMIT, SHOCKY– but actually I think the trope here is clear. Shocky did answer Joker's question in one word. DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN but that's confirmed shortly, after this hilarious page:

It's Albert, the Knight Terrors son! Reading a Wonder Woman comic. It doesn't look like he took Joker's suggestion to ask for better toys to heart. 

Inexplicably, Joker stops in the middle of everything to steal the kid's drugs.

The implication may be that Shocky's words have jogged something in Joker's memory, and he's trying to ease the rest of it out. And that certainly seems to be happening, because we abruptly jump into the surreal "backer," which has a stronger tie to the main story than the others.

Joker is poisoning civilians when it turns out something's wrong with a henchman's mask.

Joker takes this opportunity to create his twin himself (dun dun DUNNNN) with the assistance of Professor Pyg.

Pyg successfully transforms the henchman into a Joker look-alike, and the fun begins, with Joker using his double to seem like he can be in two places at once, and to explain sudden changes of heart or ability. And all that goes fine until:

Original Joker does not appreciate anyone killing his men but him! (For once.) He confronts his creation when he's sitting on a park bench feeding critters. (A Joker enjoying himself at night on a bench? If only a bat doppelganger was there to join him.)

And we end on panels very reminiscent of what happened back in TMWSL #1.

Is this dunking on Three Jokers? I'm choosing to take it that way (even though TMWSL itself could still go the same direction).

Unlike other issues, we return to the main story for a page.

I had to include both these panels because 1) I enjoy the clown balloon exploding perfectly positioned in the cop's face and 2) like the last time Joker was in the hospital, he's reading a comic and replacing the story that's in there with something in his head.

But here it is! Half the mystery solved: Joker himself made his doppelganger! Which raises questions like "why?" and "how?" and "when?" but look there's only another couple issues to go.

And we can keep speculating in the meantime. Again I point to clownprince's theory linked above that some clone or plastic-surgeried reanimated corpse was mindwiped into thinking he's Joker. If that holds true, which it seems like it will because the Lazarus resin came up again, now we have Joker saying that he is the person who did it. Of course, if we go by how it went in the backer, then it's Sewer Rat Joker who is the fake, but since the backers are surreal and strange, the story Joker "read" in the comic may just be inspired by the actual goings-on and he really is the original as he says. It's also possible that we'll find both Joker's are so mixed up that they simply can't agree on who the original is, and we never get confirmation.

Regardless, we can further extrapolate that after seeing the clones at the end of Joker 2021, even though Joker was pissed about that, he may have been inspired too. It wouldn't be the first time that he thought a joke was only funny if he was the one who told it. So after he left Texas, he came across the mindwipe tech Bloom used in Task Force Z, and decided to give it a try? Except the person he brainwashed would be as vain as him and want to be the one-and-only Clown Prince of Crime, and it would never occur to him that he's the copy.

I'm hoping that's what it is, and not that the double was created earlier and it really is like Three Jokers where there's been more than one Joker tHe WhOle TiMe. I mean, Joker's last line could be taken to mean, "I was the one behind our best shenanigans and am responsible for our fearsome reputation." At least it's definitely not some multiverse shit as implied by that Batman #135 page.

We've got a couple issues left to get more answers. My understanding is that TMWSL stops at #12, which is a bummer. I've had a great time reading it, which only makes me grumble more about what's going on in Batman and Gotham War. "I Am A Gun" was delightful, but ever since Batman's storyline hit the alternate universe, the writing has gone… not great, IMO. So I'm not sure what Zdarsky is gonna do with Joker for the reunion. :|

#the man who stopped laughing #joker #spoilers #my jibber-jabber

[mangoshorthand]

Arrow of Time: Chapter 6 [Five Hargreeves/ F Reader]

(Hard Feelings Part 5)

SUMMARY: When the mother of all teenage tantrums causes time itself to fracture, Five has to travel back to 1831 to repair the damage. But will he be able to cope with what he finds there?

Chapter 7 (TBA) >> << Back to Chapter 5

At Reginald's party, Five sees and hears things he doesn't wish to.

Chapter 6: Selina

There was a moment of silence after Five disappeared where Lila, Diego, Luther and Aoife simultaneously seemed to feel that they’d seen him for the last time. 

Lila stood braced, ready to mimic whatever Five sent through the tear, still pulsating and wavering where he’d been less than a minute before. Diego held out his hand to Aoife and she took it gladly. They stood side by side, watching Lila’s look of deep concentration. Tension laid thick upon the air, settling heavily on Aoife’s chest. She could feel the eyes of Reginald’s portrait on her like a searchlight. Just like his Number Five, she had failed in her experimentations with time travel and should have been kept from messing with things she didn’t understand. One Uncle’s hand squeezing hers and the others’ reassuring looks were the only thing stopping her descending into total freakout like her Dad had last week.  

And then, Lila’s hands crackled with Five’s mimicked power. She grinned, showing all her teeth.

“There he is, just like he said he’d be! Ah, I’m starting to like that fucker!��

She absorbed and projected Five’s output in the same action: she could feel the connection across time; the link forged between them. She could feel the balance in whatever he was doing: the perfection, the peace-giving quality of it; the beauty in the numbers. It was …amazing.

“You ok, Lila?”  Luther asked, concerned by her expression,

“Yeah…it’s just…” she grunted with the intensity of the feeling, “your brother’s really giving it to me here!”

Diego would have usually have been affronted at this genre of humor from Lila concerning any of his brothers but, for Aoife’s sake, he didn’t draw attention to the double entendre. 

“If it’s not impertinent to say, this is an unusual suit. The breeches are extremely low on the waist and cut rather farther away from the leg than I’ve seen. And this coat is shorter than I’m used to: no tails whatsoever.”

Five stood on the tailor’s plinth, being measured for the new clothes by an apprentice while the tailor himself fingered his discarded jacket with a look of curiosity.

The room was lit by candlelight with the shutters drawn. Five had arrived in the tailors with only twenty minutes to spare before the business closed and had used a few choice words to one of the young men who told him that making an entire suit before the 9th would be an impossibility. When he’d offered them one hundred dollars if they could, (including supplying him with a quickly-fitted off the peg suit for daywear), they had become immediately more accommodating. 

“The stitching is extremely fine. Where did you purchase this?”

“Paris,” Five said, smiling thinly, as he lifted his arm for the tape measure, “all the men there are wearing them- strolling up and down the Seine in their low cut breeches. It’s the new fashion.”

“I should think so. There was nothing of this nature on the latest fashion plates.”

While one apprentice measured his in-seam and scribbled the result down in a notebook, another handed him a coffee.

“Thanks,” said Five, gratefully. 

“Have you given a thought to style, sir? I understand you’re attending a soiree at Le Roy Place but what will the evening include? Will there be dancing?”

“There is dancing, but I doubt I’ll be taking part. I just want to blend in: be dressed like everyone else.”

The tailor looked at him in obvious disapproval, “That seems to me like false modesty, sir, especially for one with his ear so close to the ground when it comes to Parisian fashion. Why shrink away from standing out? You’re still a young man with a handsome face and a fine person.”

“You flirt.” Five murmured into his coffee cup, unable to help himself. 

“I’m sorry, sir?”

“Nothing. As long as I don’t stand out too much, I don’t care.”

The tailor strode over to the open cabinet where bolts of cloth were neatly stacked. 

“Then I’d suggest a silk coat, perhaps in the sage green? I’d consider adding black velvet to the collar-”

Five nodded slightly impatiently.

“Then, for the waistcoat, a sprigged-”

“I honestly don’t care,” Five spoke over him, “dress my ‘fine person’ however you want. As long as I look normal.”

Over the days separating his arrival from the night of the party, Five fell into a slightly frenzied routine: his days were spent pounding the pavements between where he arrived and Le Roy Place, asking after a woman of your description at every establishment he passed and scouring the streets for any sign you might have left him. With the new casual suit to wear by day, he blended in much better with the upper crust of Manhattan. Despite this, he was wary of spending too long loitering around Le Roy Place: if he knew his father, he’d spot somebody repeatedly casing the area extremely quickly.

Once, he’d taken a hired carriage out towards where the Academy would be built in several decades time. It had been a wasted afternoon; all he could do was stare at buildings that would be demolished to make way for the city block that his father would come to own most of. He’d hoped you might leave a message here but there was nothing. None of the inhabitants of the surrounding apartments could tell him anything. As little as he wanted to, he was starting to pin all his hopes of finding you on this party.

The evenings were spent filling sheets and sheets of paper with expansions on his theory, trying to decide on the best practical approach to rebalancing time. He’d been back to the alley multiple times, trying to get a feel for how the land lay. He’s verified his theory as much as possible with minor, experimental projections, but something doesn’t feel right. 

His brain niggles him about it on March 8th, when he sits with papers spread across a tavern table that could seat six. He’s considered everything from the disproval of Golbach’s conjecture on even numbers past the point of  4 × 10 18 to something as simple as performing simultaneous equations…but none of his ideas feel one hundred percent right.

On top of everything, he’s become irritable, even paranoid since arriving here. He finds himself conscious of having to exert more self control than usual not to snap at innocent people. No doubt, if you were here, you’d attribute it to the sudden lack of antidepressants in his system but he knows better: it’s entirely rational to be tense in this situation. You were always anxious about his mental health; always over-analyzing things. Apparently it’s rubbed off on him. The thought makes him roll his eyes. It’s an absurd idea: if he’s going through withdrawal then where are the physical symptoms?

When a woman saunters over to him, he’s focused on his calculations, ignoring a headache and trying to refrain from talking to himself.

“Buy me a drink, sir?”

He looks up, surprised.

“What, can’t buy your own drink?”

“I would have hoped for more gallantry from a man like you,” she remarked. He grunted and looked back down at his paper. Despite this clear rebuff, she sits down directly across from him and shifts his papers slightly.

“Perhaps I could buy myself a drink. It’s only that John behind the bar says you’ve got money to burn and you can’t blame a girl for trying her luck.”

Despite his short temper, he lets a short gust of laughter out through his nose. Her sheer cheek is charming. She’s a fairly young woman- perhaps early thirties. She’s blonde and blue eyed with hair in messy ringlets around her ears. The tavern’s inhabitants are certainly not part of the city’s upper crust and this woman is no exception: the dress she wears strikes him as rare in this era, as much in its almost candy-pink color as the way it exposes her shoulders as well as the shelf of her bosom. She has a bright green wrap, currently tied around her trim waist and her face is alight with impertinent mischief. He reaches into his pocket for coins and extracts a fifty cent piece, he hands it to her. 

“Keep the change.” 

With an approving little ‘hm!’, she trips off to the bar and he becomes again absorbed in mathematics. To him, it feels like seconds pass before she’s back sitting across from him again.

“You can call me Selina.”

“Mm-hm.” he says, disinterestedly, not looking up. 

“And what am I to call you?”

“I don’t want you to call me anything,” he says, stiffly, shifting some of his papers away from her and stacking them on top of the others.

“I needn’t know your name, I suppose. ‘Sir’ does quite well enough.”

She falls silent for a few seconds while he continues to scribble, pausing only to add ink to the steel-nibbed pen. 

“Will you be wanting company tonight sir?”

His pen pauses and he looks up, again taking in her appearance. Ah…he should have guessed. 

“Um. No, no thank you.”

“If you’re sure, sir? This is the third night you’ve been here, they say, and all alone. That should make any man eager for company.”

“I’m married,” he murmurs, mouth slightly dry. 

She lets out a trill of laughter like a tropical bird, “it’s not often a gentleman considers that a barrier!”

“Well I do,” he says, shortly, gathering his papers and standing up abruptly. “So thanks, but no thanks.”

“You a preacher?” she laughs.

“Far from it.” he says, with the ghost of an amused smile.

Well, you know where to find me if you happen to change your mind!” she calls, raising her voice ever so slightly to follow him up the stairs to his room.

At last, the evening of Reginald’s gathering arrived. He’d felt stupid almost as soon as he’d put on the party-appropriate outfit produced for him by the tailors. To be fair to that establishment, he always felt stupid in most clothes beyond his safe options. His day to day wardrobe included much more than plain suits now but it was still a long time before any new type of garment worked its way into his regular rotation. As a result, he was distinctly uncomfortable dressed up like some shitty community theater actor playing Mr Darcy.

The pants (or breeches, apparently) in a tan color sit so high on his waist that they feel only a few inches south of his nipples; the high collared shirt, cinched into place by a neckcloth, almost restricts his breathing. At least the tailcoat balances it all out and makes him look slightly less like a pigeon with severe constipation.

He arrives at almost nine, giving the party time to get into full swing before so that he can disappear more effectively into the crowd. He approaches Le Roy Place first from the front on Bleeker Street, confirming for sure which house was his father’s by candlelit windows and a flurry of carriages on the street in front. A bored-looking servant stands beside the door, clearly to check the invitations of any latecomers. His best option is to risk a blink inside and then to camouflage himself with the rest of the guests. Staying out of sight, he loops around to approach it from the back. 

From the roof of the houses behind, he can see through the lit windows into the palatial residence. His eyes come to rest on what appears to be a games room on the first floor with billiards and card tables. He watches as the room’s only two occupants, (two laughing men,) leave together, one clapping the other on the back. Not willing to miss this chance, he blinks quickly into the deserted room.

He can already hear music and excited chatter from behind the room’s door. The newspaper article had said this was a gathering for a ‘select’ group of people, but judging by the noise and the number of carriages outside, the number of people must be into the early three figures. As he adjusts the lapel of his new jacket, a group of three men enter. He reciprocates their respectful bows and busies himself about the billiard table, giving himself a moment or two to regroup: to formulate a plan.

He’s here because it feels like he should be. He’s looking for any evidence of what his Dad might be doing here in the hope it might somehow lead him to you. Now he’s here, it seems such a vague hope: a stupid idea. He’d pinned all his hopes onto something and nothing. 

“I see you come in good company tonight, eh?” says one of the men, suggestively, giving one of his companions a friendly elbow in the ribs, “while the cat’s away, the mice will play, eh?”

The large man he’s addressing chortles lasciviously. The sound catches Five’s full attention and he eyes him sidelong: he clearly doesn't fear sticking out like Five had. He’s an odd sight, looking almost exactly like an English bulldog, (his jowls sagging in an uncannily similar way), but dressed like an Indian bridegroom, draped head to toe in silks.

 “I don’t know what you mean, Smyth,” he says, ironically.

“I admire your brazenness, I must say: thinking you can pass off your cook as your cousin! It’s quite an excellent show.”

The three men laugh, not even troubling to keep their voices down.

“And I’m sure I’ve seen that dress before. Didn’t your wife wear something like it to your birthday party last year?” more chortles fill the room, “did you think we wouldn’t notice, you old cad? It’s too much!”

“Oh, don’t worry yourself on that account,” the large man rumbles, clearly setting up a punchline, “I shall be taking that dress off her before this evening is over- why do you think I intend to leave so early?”

Five had all but stopped listening. Getting into his father’s study would be the priority, but first he needs to get the lay of the house.

As he crosses to the door, and a few other men enter, one of the men seated at the card table leaned in to his companions, finally lowering his voice.

“I’d bet she gives you quite the ride, you old dog.”

“That she does, though I can assure you there’s life in this old dog yet. She might say it is I who gives her the ride.”

Closing the door behind him, Five takes a drink from a servant passing with a tray and loses himself in the crowd. The first floor seems to sit on an upper-gallery, rather like the academy.  When Five steps out of the games room, he finds himself looking down on the dancefloor below, where thirty two couples dance in eight sets of a dance he’d guess is a quadrille.

He strolls around the gallery, headed for the stairs and sipping his newly acquired wine. He hopes to be able to watch Reginald from a distance for a while, to be able to gauge a little bit about him. What age does this version appear to be? Before he risks getting caught snooping in the study, he wants to find out as much as possible by innocent means. 

As the music changes and a new dance begins, he takes a glance down at the dancefloor and sees his father leading a woman by the hand onto the floor. Bingo. 

His dad looks young, younger than Five had ever known him- their respective bodies (both contrasting wildly with what was within), have to be around the same physical age. He’s got a full head of hair and his face is unlined. 

Reginald takes the woman into a ballroom hold and they begin to dance a waltz slightly unsteady on her part. When the dancers revolve, he doubletakes, hands gripping the balustrade.

There: you’re there, dancing and talking with his father. Relief rushes through his body, you’re here: safe and sound and looking just as beautiful as ever. His gratitude that he followed his instinct in coming here is intense: he wants to blink, to tear you out of his father’s arms and kiss every inch of you he can reach.

But he can’t: he can’t risk his father seeing his powers, (or really seeing him at all) and, until the dance is over and you’re out of Reginald’s eyeline, he can’t risk you seeing him either unless you accidentally draw attention to him. Instead, he just watches, heart fluttering like a lovesick teen. You’ve clearly fallen on your feet; here among all these rich people. He needn’t have worried, it seems. What the hell are you doing, throwing yourself in his father’s way? Looking for your husband, probably. Five smiles: you’re playing with fire and he finds it hard to disapprove. 

You’re wearing a cream silk gown with elbow length puff-sleeves. His eyes are drawn instantly to your breasts, accentuated and pushed up by the empire waistline. They look as if they want to burst out of there. He finds himself trying and failing to not think about all the times he’s had the flesh of those breasts between his lips and teeth, all the times he’s pressed them together and… 

He mentally shakes himself, trying to will the blood to stop rushing between his legs. Sure, it’s been a little while since you had sex but he’s not an animal. It must have been even longer for you. The thought gives him a little flutter of pity and anticipation: you must be missing him even more intensely than he has you. At least he’s had your company for his months of celibacy. Squinting at your face, he tries to discern your expression: he’s too far away to see for sure, but if he had to judge, he’d say you seem uncomfortable. Now, all he has to do is watch and wait. 

He stands at the top of the stairs now sipping his wine contentedly. He doesn’t notice when the three men from the billiards room stroll past him, make their way down and rejoin the onlookers lining the walls. He watches until the dance is over: until his father bows and you curtsey in response. You both make your way off the dancefloor and rejoin the crowd: his father going one way, you going the other.

Trying not to draw attention to himself with his eagerness, he hurries down the stairs and in the direction you headed, uneasy that you’re no longer in his eyeline. He joins the throng and parts people easily with his determined steps. He cranes his neck over the top of many heads, trying to spot you again. It’s like you stepped off the dancefloor and just vanished. Fuck: he should have blinked. He should have screamed your name, he should have done anything to have his arms wrapped around you again, held tight against his chest where you belong.

He sees you and relief floods him again. 

The front door stands open with you clearly about to leave. A large man with an umbrella escorts you outside. By the time he’s made his way to the front door, the man is helping you into a covered carriage, placing a hand briefly on your ass under the guise of helping you inside. When Five gets to the sidewalk, the guy turns around to take a final, satisfied look back at the house.

And Five freezes. It’s the bulldog from the billiards room: the white guy dressed in traditional Indian clothing, the guy who talked about coming to the party with his cook in his wife’s dress. The cook he boasted about fucking.

His legs have stopped working. He just stands there, rain soaking his hair and new suit. As the man climbs into the carriage and it pulls away, he can’t bring himself to blink inside and beat the guy to a bloody pulp. He’s soaked after only a few seconds, wet hair sending drips rolling down his cheeks.

A feeling he hasn’t felt in a long time spreads from his anchored legs upwards, like thorny pinpricks along the long bones. It’s rage.

So when he finally re-enters the tavern, soaking wet, his eyes immediately fall upon Selina sitting at the corner table.

Tag list: (please comment to be added or removed.) @dilfjohhny , @sunsunhe, @w4stedtr4sh, @nevbrooke-555, @theredvelvetbitch, @td-miley01, @five-hxrgreeves, @rorygi1more, @jamiebower88, @nevillescomslut

On to Chapter 7 (TBA) >> Masterpost

#the umbrella academy smut #the umbrella academy five #the umbrella academy imagine #the umbrella academy #umbrella academy x reader #umbrella academy #umbrella academy smut #umbrella academy number five #umbrella academy five x oc #number five imagine #five hargreeves smut #five hargreeves imagine #number five smut #number 5 imagine #number 5 #fanfic #ao3 writer #tua fanfic #umbrella academy fanfic #five hargreaves x oc #number 5 x oc #hard feelings #Arrow of time

[deathsmallcaps]

What kind of tans would the Batfam get during the summer?

Alfred: When he was young and in the service, Alfred got a nice tan on his legs, forearms and face. But that has mostly faded with age and inside work now. Extremely conscientious of the dangerous effect the sun has on skin, he now wears protective gear when gardening (which happens less and less as he grows older) and a healthy amount of sunscreen. However, he still vacations on beaches when he has the time, so he has a swimsuit tan.

Bruce: Sunscreens the fuck up. Can he tan? Slightly. Will he? No. He’s a little afraid of sunburn pains, and while his years of training have toughened up his skin, it’s not like he exactly WANTS to have rough skin. He got one (1) cancerous mole when with Ra’s Al Ghul and doesn’t want to tempt fate.

Selina: she was always a little sad she was never as tan as her mother, and so went through a phase where she went to tanning beds. She didn’t like the result, expense, or bluster from the doctor, however, and when one of her friends had a serious skin cancer scare, she quit. Still, Selina loves lounging by the pool in a bikini, and never puts on as much sunscreen that her loved ones would want her to apply. But as she’s largely nocturnal; and often wears a full body once piece, her tan is largely consistent but not a huge change from her look during the winter.

Dick: he always gets a nice golden brown, isn’t afraid of going swimming or sunning in *not much*, but is still conscientious of health and uses sunscreen and goes to the dermatologist regularly. He does have a bit of a sock tan though - he rolls them all the way up when wearing sneakers because he’s a dork.

Barbara: Lobster red burn, peel, back to pale with maybe some new freckles - repeat. She’s given up. She puts sunscreen on her scalp. She’s kind of jealous of Dick. Swears she once got a burn from the moon.

Jason: T shirt tan. All the way. Would have a red neck except he’s always wearing helmets. He sometimes wears a tank top outside enough that there is a 2nd level of tanning, but not too often. Also, he likes boots, so he doesn’t wear shorts and short socks often.

Cass: burnt herself a LOT during her early years as a free person. She loved the warmth and comfort of napping in the sun. She’s learned to be more careful, but you can still find her napping on roofs. As such, she develops a nice, healthy looking tan, but she sort of has the same tan outline as Jason - she doesn’t have a set outfit she usually wears, but it usually approximates a tshirt and varying lengths of pants. Her feet are brown though - she goes barefoot as much as possible.

Tim: Hasn’t ever tried for a tan really. He knew he was Supposed To wear sunscreen, and it’s one of the self care habits he didn’t really neglect. But he’s in the habit of wearing longer clothing anyway, so all that really regularly sees the sun is his hands and face.

Steph: a nice, athletic tan. She spends as much time outside as she can, often running. This originally stemmed from trying to be away from her house as much as possible, and grew to a true enjoyment. She sometimes jogs in a sports bra, so her midriff is a bit tan.

Damian: Damian doesn’t really see the point of tanning, as for most of his early childhood, he wore protective gear and/or worked in the literal shadows/inside like other sensible people who live in deserts. But he also values being outside, sometimes running with Stephanie, and finds Gotham to be too dreary to waste any sun he gets. So he tans quite nicely, though his lines seem to be a mix of Stephanie’s and Cassandra’s

Duke: Duke has a swim shorts tan. Ever since he was a kid, but especially since finding out about his light powers, Duke enjoys the light as much as possible. He also needs to keep up with the tans of people who DON’T spend many daylight hours in a supersuit. So while he does apply sunscreen, he especially applies it to the lower half of the face, as he’s afraid the difference in tone could be noticeable. Either it works or people really don’t care, as no one ever mentions it or uses it against him. Sometimes he’ll join Cassandra on a roof for a sunbeam nap.

Terry: Aesthetically not into tanning. He doesn’t avoid it exactly, but he definitely doesn’t go out of his way to get one. Occasionally gets sunburns when his forearms have been meaning by the car window for too long. Terry does not see the point of working on things like cars and machinery outside of perfectly good garages, thank you very much.

Matt: used to run from concerned adults with their sunscreen - not because he especially hated it, but because it took too long. He still hasn’t gotten into the habit, and so does the ol’ burn-then-tan thing very often. As such, he basically had a T-shirt tan.

#bat family #i used to trawl that tag when I was like 17 on ao3 #i would at least look at the story description for each one #i was obsessed with the family #dick Grayson #jason Todd #Cassandra Cain #batman #tim drake #stephanie brown #damian al ghul #damian Wayne #Duke Thomas #the cass one came was inspired by a fic where cass #sometimes got dehydrated after storms because the moist air made her forget to drink #idk why I did this

[raphael-angele]

Damian Wayne being the Family's Baby Headcanons because he IS baby

Koala. He’s a literal baby koala. I saw this headcanon that he saw on Animal Planet or Discovery Channel how koalas cling onto tree branches and did it to Bruce’s leg. He says it’s so that he can get to where he wants and Bruce just lets him.

Acts like a baby when sleepy. Damian is incredibly honest when he’s sick or half-asleep. There was one time when they were about to patrol and he was on the verge on falling on the ground and sleeping. Bruce told him to go to bed and wanted to bench him. He expected him to refuse and complain, instead, he got Damian making grabby arms and saying in a cute voice, “Papa. Sleepy”. Bruce didn’t go to patrol that night.

Same goes for when he’s sick. Damian doesn’t get sick easily, and when he does, it’s almost nondetectable. He can usually sleep it off or is gone in a few hours. So it came to a shock to the family when one of his brothers came down for breakfast, holding the Baby Bat in his arms, saying he might have a fever. Bruce checked his temperature and knew it wasn’t going to be gone in a few hours. They knew it was serious when Damian started crying, saying he felt uncomfy and wanted someone to hold him.

Has an oral fixation. Damian WILL suck and chew on anything suckable and chewable. Candy? Gum? Sure. But those are the normal things. Dick once caught him sucking/chewing on his gloves while on a stakeout. This also led to Dick believing he also bites his nails and the skin around it. He’d be right. Jason once got him a pacifier as a joke but found him sucking and chewing on the rubber in the library. Because of that, he actually got him a rubber straw set for him to use. When Tim found out about this, he got him those chewable necklaces in hero symbols. He never uses Red Robin symbol, saying it’s because he doesn't like it but in truth, he doesn't want it to wear out.

Plushies. Plushies and Squishmallows everywhere. He has an entire collection of them in his room, which he hides during the day. Bruce has a playpen in the cave made especially for him, that has plushies, books and other toys he might find enjoyable. He cannot sleep or has difficulty sleeping when if there isn't anything to hug. He cried when he couldn't find his Batman squishmallow, which is his first plushie and the one Dick got for him. Which leads me to my next point:

Every single one of the batfam gave him a plushie and/or a squishmallow. Dick got him the Batman one, Jason got him a Red Hood and a panda, Tim got him a bee, Steph got him a crab, and a Red Robin one, Duke got him a cat, Cass got him a sloth. And you guys know those bondage bunnies? Selina got him a black one. And yes, he knows what it is.

Likes velvet or microfiber cloth and blankets. He ABSOLUTELY hates silk. Bruce figured it out when he saw his son in bed with his silk blanket on the floor. When he put it on him, he threw it away. So he got him another blanket. His favorite napping place is the library windowsill or the living room sofa.

Onesies. Batfamily onesies. He has one of each of the batfamily uniforms. The one he uses most is Red Hood because it has an actual hood, besides his own. He has animal onesies, too. But he likes wearing the batfam versions better.

He doesn't like loud noises. Everytime they're on patrol, Bruce would pack an extra set of earplugs for Damian. In missions that involve flying, they'd have Damian wear headphones for most of the flight to cancel the noise from the engine or anything loud. This also includes when there's construction nearby.

He has a personal playpen in the batcave. And by playpen, I mean an actual playpen with stuffed toys, blankets, kinetic sand box, fidget toys, playmat, electronics like his switch. He even has a video player for cartoons and movies. They put him there before patrol to make sure he's in a good mood and after patrol to make him calm down from rush

He likes to braid Steph's and Babs' hair. When he's benched from patrol and Steph or Babs is looking after him, he'd get bored and they'd let them play with their hair. And he likes it cuz Talia used to let him do it to her.

Sometimes, when they go out at daytime, he'd need to put on sunglasses cuz the sun hurts his eyes. His domino mask also has an auto control for brightness based on the surroundings. He's not allowed in clubs either due to flashing lights and loud music. Fireworks are a no no too.

Whenever they go to the mall, they have to tie his wrist to theirs. Either this, or they leave him in the petting zoo.

He will sneak into their bed at night. Doesn't matter if he had a nightmare or not, he will do it

He likes the smell of newly watered dirt/ground, pine, sandalwood, and earthy smells.

He likes being carried. Despite what he says, he likes being carried everywhere.

#dc comics #damian wayne #dc #robin #batfam #batfamily #dick grayson #nightwing #tim drake #red robin #jason todd #red hood #bruce wayne #batman

[incorrectbatfam]

If the members of the batfam wrote memoirs or essays about themselves, what would their opening hooks be?

Dick: *record scratch and freeze frame* So you're probably wondering how I ended up here.

Jason: This is the story of how I died. Don't worry, I got better.

Tim: It all began on the day of my actual birth. Both of my parents failed to show up.

Damian: A caution to those who have an inferiority complex: stop reading right this second. The Homeric epic of my life will only make you feel more useless.

Duke: According to all known laws of city planning, there is no way a city like Gotham should be able to exist. It's infrastructure is too weak to build its fat little buildings off the ground. Gotham, of course, runs anyway, because the city doesn't care what humans think is impossible.

Cullen: The first rule of Tumblr is you don't talk about Tumblr.

Stephanie: ...I can explain.

Cassandra: Hi my name is Cassandra Wu-San Black Bat Orphan Cain and I have short bat-colored black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-shoulder and cold black eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like an Asian Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to the Biblical Cain but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a bat but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a vigilante, and I live in a comic book city called Gotham in New Jersey where I’m the second Batgirl (I’m twenty-four). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black bodysuit with matching holsters around it and a black leather jacket, yellow fingerless gloves and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside in Gotham. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of Rogues stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

Barbara: Do you ever look at someone and wonder what is going on inside their head?

Harper: A long long time ago in a city far away...

Carrie: Bruce told me I can't insert audio so let's just say you got Rickrolled.

Kate: The definition of gay? Me. The definition of disaster? Also me. My picture's in the dictionary twice, suck it.

Alfred: In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and more bat-children. And at this point I'm not so sure about death.

Selina: "Mom I want Bruce Wayne" "We have Bruce Wayne at home" The Bruce Wayne at home:

Bruce: Look behind you.

#dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #duke thomas #cullen row #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #barbara gordon #harper row #carrie kelley #kate kane #alfred pennyworth #selina kyle #bruce wayne #batman #batfamily #batfam #batboys #batbros #batgirls #batkids #batsiblings #batman family #dc comics #headcanon #crack #tw swearing #tw death mention #long post

[bibibusinessman]

What members of the batfam would wear and do on their off days

Dick: skinny jeans (he looks great in them) and a batman t shirt, he’s coaching gymnastics

Jason: his robe (red of course) and his red hood slippers , he’s reading Jane Austen

Tim: old band tshirt and ratty boxers. He’s working on a case and drinking black coffee with melatonin powder in it.

Stephanie: jeans and a purple shirt, she’s out running with ace and Titus

Cass: Dance clothes, at dance practice (she has a recital tomorrow)

Damian: whatever Alfred laid out for him, he’s training with Jon, they may also make out a little bit…

Barbara: comfy pants and a Black Sabbath tshirt, she’s working on her blackmail folder for each family member, she just found Jason’s tinder profile

Duke: black acid washed jeans, tie dye hoodie, he’s on a study date at a coffee shop with his girlfriend

Kate: yoga pants and a racer back tank top, she’s at a goat yoga date with her girlfriend ( it was her girlfriends idea)

Bruce: suit, he’s at a business meeting, but afterwards he’s meeting Selina for coffee

Alfred: normal clothing, he’s reading in the library (Sherlock Holmes) later he will help the batkids make homemade pizza and cookies

All: matching Batman pjs, watching a horror movie and eating way to much popcorn and cookies

#batfamily #batman #jason todd #dick grayson #batdad #damian wayne #tim drake #duke thomas #cassandra cain #kate kane #stephanie brown #barbara gordon #alfred pennyworth #damian al ghul #nightwing #red robin #red hood #oracle #spoiler #orphan #the signal #robin #dc robin #the batman #catwoman #bruce x selina #selina kyle #bruce wayne

[cdpdoodler]

hit the episode Tyger Tyger just now (I'm watching BTAS for the first time) and oh??? my god???? why the hell am I gonna have emotions like this over the anthro furry transformation Batman episode??

Dorian had a line about twenty years of work going down the drain. he also says that Tygrus is not his first attempt at a human/animal hybrids?? so even if we assume he meant slightly more than twenty years Tygrus is still probably barely 20 at most. he's like Dick's age. wtf. (I know he probably matured faster than a normal human would cause cat genetics but my god.) he refers to Dorian as his father, Batman assumes he was made in a test tube (and he's probably right) but even so like ???? did he raise him. how fast did he age. does he know how to read. he knows how to talk, what other skills did he learn from his father.

and then there's fucking Garth. who I think we're meant to assume was born human and forcibly altered, like Selina? he wears clothes. why does he get clothes but Tygrus doesn't 😭😭. it's also equally plausible that he was created as a monkey/human hybrid, no cat DNA whatsoever, since it is mentioned Dorian experimented on other primates before his retirement. but he's a lot more human-passing, a lot less feral than how Tygrus and even Selina in her half-cat form behave. who is he. where did he come from. I don't think he ever calls Dorian "father" and his design makes me think that he's closer to middle aged ?? was he just a guy?? why doesn't he grapple with his humanity. how long has he been working for Dorian. was it willingly?? is he just a furry hired goon that was down for whatever as long as he got to be monkey? Where did Batman take him. did he put him in prison. what is the ethical way to punish a half ape man criminal.

And then at the end??? Tygrus hands his father over to Batman bc he figures that Batman will help him?? and also opts to stay on the secluded island with the burning remains of his father's lab??? does he just live out the rest of his life as a wild animal? He's clearly capable of sentient thought. does he resent his humanity? does he resent his creator? Batman says Dorian has to be punished for his genetic crimes- do you think Tygrus sees himself as an affront to nature. does he have internalized furryphobia

jfc. I have so many questions. as far as I can tell from Google he was made for this show and only appeared in one episode and a spin off comic. what the hell. I hate it here.

#tygrus #emile dorian #batman the animated series #btas #tyger tyger #batman