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#NO dialogue let me figure my shit out lol!!!!!!!!!!
cerealmonster15 · 8 months
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drawing a scene from the fic ive been writing today
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tarjapearce · 9 months
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Lips anon! Projecting a little bit of childhood tramua, but imagine a teacher complaining that Benji's hair is "messy." Aka too curly for her liking cuz some teachers be assholes like that. Miguel is offended, and Mama goes full rabid on her, calling her to a teacher's conference over some dumb shit like this lol
Mama tells Benji that his hair isn't messy and his teacher is a puta. He's just a handsome curly boy 💕
Not. With. My. Benji. >:(
(To y'all curly babes out there, including me, Our hair is gorgeous ok? we gorgeous ❤️❤️)
Benjamin fiddled with his fingers, chewed the inside of his cheek and stole little glances here and there to you and Miguel. He didn't know if he was in trouble.
He had to tell you that one of his teachers wanted to speak directly with you and Miguel as soon as possible. He was a first grader, maybe she wanted to talk about about something to improve Benjamin's weakness in certain areas.
Miguel had taken a day to attend the meeting, teacher came in and Benjamin recoiled even further next to you, almost hiding behind you. You frowned.
"Mr. and Mrs. O'Hara, thank you for coming today." She started with a polite smile, you followed.
"Benjamin told us that there was something you needed to discuss with us. Is Benjamin doing ok?" Miguel spoke, placing a hand on his shoulder.
"Oh yes. You see, Benjamin is a good student. He has a bit of trouble speaking loudly when it's required to. He's still a bit shy, but overall, he's good."
"Right, so," You stared at her as she looked with squinted eyes at Benjamin.
"Is there any real issues that needs to be addressed? It's fine if he's a bit shy, it's a new grade for him. New classmates, new experiences, it's normal to feel a bit overwhelmed."
"Correct. Look, we have this... image code that applies to everyone and I believe that Benjamin isn't following it."
She spoke and you and Miguel blinked at her words. Confused at first but a bad feeling sunk into your gut.
"What's wrong with Benjamin dress code?" Miguel expression hardened when Benji's hand held onto his sleeve, like saying 'stop'.
"It's not about the dress code but more his, image."
"There is nothing wrong with my son, Mrs. Charles." Miguel's brow rose, his arms crossing on his chest as you spoke. He'd usually would try and calm you to then get a less heated approach, dialogue. But this time he just watched, not liking one bit where this was going.
"Maybe if you could cut or comb his hair a bit-"
Miguel rose and placed his hands on his waist. The hulking figure had startled the teacher. Good.
"You made me skip a day of work just for you to say my son has messy hair and you don't like it?" He almost hissed the last words.
You finally understood why Benjamin had been spending some time looking himself in the mirror the last past days.
"Do you understand Spanish, Mrs. Charles?"
"I do, ma'am. This is... just-"
"A mi hijo lo respeta, señora. Muy maestra puede ser usted, y aún así le queda grande el puesto, pero con mi hijo no se meta." ( My son is to be respected, ma'am. You can be a teacher all you want and still you're unworthy to be one, but you won't mess with my son.)
Miguel picked up a very distressed Benjamin and left. Your spanish had improved considerably thanks to Miguel.
"Mi hijo pasa un buen rato viéndose al espejo por culpa suya. Y no le voy a permitir que esté proyectando sus inseguridades en él. Si vuelvo a saber que usted o que alguno de sus compañeros lo molestan, voy a tomar cartas en el asunto. ¿Entendió?" (My son spends a good amount of time looking himself in the mirror because of you. I won't allow you to project your insecurities on him. If I know of this again from you or that his classmates are pestering him because of it, I'm taking hands in the matter. Got it?)
You left the classroom with a slam on the door, didn't even let the teacher speak.
"Vieja puta." (Fucking Bitch)
Miguel held Benjamin tighter, covering his ears at your cursing.
"Who the fuck she think she is?! Making us waste our time." Benjamin rubbed his eyes, his nose was getting red, his reaction only made your anger to boil.
"Benjamin, baby?"
He looked at you as Miguel put him down.
"I need you to listen to me, okay mi amor?"
He nodded as you wiped his tears.
"There is nothing wrong with your hair, okay? Your hair is beautiful. And many other kids would give anything to have it."
He hiccuped.
Miguel kneeled and slicked his hair softly.
"Don't listen to her, champ. Probably the lady is just jealous you have more hair than her"
Benjamin couldn't help but giggle.
"What do we say at home, baby?"
"I am kind"
"Aha, what else?"
"My voice matters"
"Of course it does, Mi amor" You hugged him and peppered his face in kisses earning more giggles from him.
"And you are beautiful, okay. From these lovely bouncy curls, from these speedy feet, okay?
He nodded.
"Wanna go for an ice cream?"
Miguel put him on his back, his little legs dangling on his neck as you all left.
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tojis-gf · 9 months
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dis was not proofread LOLOLOL so if sum doesn't sound right, my fault
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dilf!toji who loves to take his cute lil bimbo gf to the bar on friday nights to meet up with his buddies. and oh do you look so out of place, a cute lil innocent-looking dollface in a bar full of a bunch of older sleazy men. but under that facade, you're nothing but a naughty little minx. and that's what toji loves about you.
you'd be sitting on toji's lap at a table with him and his buddies, not having a single care about the fact that you guys are in public, grinding against his bulge while masking it as you just readjusting yourself but of course you knew just how riled up that got him as you smirk while continuing to mindlessly scroll through whatever app on your phone.
you'd continue to commit similar acts throughout the night, pressing your ass deeper into his growing bulge as he lets off a low grunt, his friends not noticing as they were too engrossed in the football game playing on the tv to notice what was happening right in front of them. his grip around your waist gets tighter as his cock begins to strain against his black jeans.
he pulls your back against his chest as he whispers into your ear "ya really wanna play that game, doll?" and all you can do is act like you have no clue what he's talking about "what are you talking about babe? 'm jus on my phone, look, see!" you pout waving the phone in his face "look at this cute lil dress i found, 's soo cute!" you say acting all innocent as you bat your eyelashes at him.
you can tell toji's beginning to grow more and more frustrated and within minutes he's lifting you up off his lap, getting up, and taking you by the wrist, telling his friends some ridiculous excuse he made up about you two needing to head to the grocery store soon.
the car ride home is nothing but silence and some random rock radio station playing at a low volume until toji speaks up "y' thought pullin' that shit tonight was funny huh?" and you giggle "i was jus bored, n you know you liked it" you smirk.
"of course i did, but now i got this fuckin' problem in my pants n had to leave the bar early since my girlfriend wants to be a brat" he hissed, one hand on the wheel while his other rested on your inner thigh. "aww you gonna punish me?" you say pouting mockingly at him.
you don't get an immediate response, until you're about to pull into your driveway "i want you on the couch, face down ass up, do i make myself clear?" he demands and you nod and do just that :)
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authors note: bruh i would've continued to write more but i jus wanted 2 do something short for rn (i have long fic (like over 1k which is alot for me bruh LOL) coming out probably next week ? it's an idea i've had for a min, just trying to figure out the right way to execute it !) + dialogue has always been something rlly difficult for me 2 write so i'm rlly sorry if it's ass but w practice i hope to improve in da future ! hehe
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blackbirdie1234 · 4 months
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The Strange Encounter
Paring: Embry Call x Reader!
Here is the link to part 2.
This is my first time writing a fan fic. If you guys like it let me know! I'm going to post part 2 very soon! Hope you enjoy :)
No warnings
Summary: You recently moved back to Forks after not being in the town since you were eight. When your old friend Jacob Black asks you to come to a party down at La Push you accept. What's the worst that could happen?
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It was a calm and cool fall day in Forks. You are helping your mom at the bookstore she owns. As you stock the shelves you look out the window and see a group of guys around your age walking. You recognize one of the faces "Oh my god, Mom is that Jacob Black?" you ask in shock. Your Mom comes over to you with a confused look on her face "Oh wow, yes it is honey" Your mom pauses for a moment and smiles "Well hasn't he grown" You look at her, she has a smug smile on her face "I almost didn't recognize him, he chopped all his hair off" you point out. "why don't you go out and say hello" your mom says with a grin. "I haven't seen him since I was 8 mom, he probably doesn't even recognize me, and take that smile off your face he definitely is not my type," you say as you both laugh, your mom walks away as you continue to stare out the window for a moment noticing a cute boy standing next to Jacob. You used to live in Forks when you were young and just recently moved back but you didn't have many friends besides Jacob, so you still consider yourself the new girl in town.
As you finish cleaning up the store you look down at your watch 6:00pm. "Oh shit, I gotta get going," you say to yourself. You grab your bag and your keys and lock up the store. From the distance you can hear a group of people laughing and talking loudly, you look up and see Jacob and his friends walking down the street coming towards you. You turn and start walking to your car not wanting to run into them, you aren't sure if Jacob remembers you and you can't decide if that's a good or a bad thing yet. As you are walking you hear your name being called 'Y/N?" you hear from behind you "shit" you think to yourself. You slowly turn around and see Jacob running up to you he has a big smile on his face and his thoughts are confirmed when you turn around "I knew it! I saw your mom coming out of the bookstore earlier and recognized her immediately, when did you get back in town?" he says with the smile still on his face you can see his friends in the distance talking amongst themselves, "Jacob, wow so good to see you" you say with an awkward smile "We moved back about a week ago, I figured your dad would have told you I'm pretty sure my dad and yours caught up a few days ago" you say with a bit of confusion "Yeah my dad and I haven't been talking much recently" Jacob says making the mood shift " Anyways your mom opened up a bookstore, that's so cool" He says obviously trying to change the topic "Yeah its always been a dream of hers so it's pretty nice we finally get to do it" you say smiling "Thats great, I'm really glad your back in town, hey my friends and I are planning on going down to La Push to have a bonfire, do you want to come? Maybe we can catch up?" he says looking at you eagerly. you hesitate for a moment thinking it over "Uh, yeah sure that sounds like fun" you say with a small smile "Great, come at any time we're heading out there in an hour" He says excitedly "Okay, I'll see you there" you say turning around and getting in your car not noticing the eyes on you as you drove away.
You're in your room getting ready, it's a chilly night so you throw on some jeans and a long-sleeved shirt with a zip-up jacket. After you finish getting ready you grab your keys and hop in your car. When you arrive at La Push you see the big fire in the sand and tons of people surrounding it. "Woah, I didn't think it would be that many people" you mumble to yourself, regretting saying yes. You get out of your car and see Jacob approaching "Hey! Glad you could make it, follow me" he says and you start walking together. He introduces you to a few people and you start talking with a guy named Quil, as you guys are talking another guy comes up to you. You realize it is the guy you saw earlier, as you make eye contact his face goes from smiling to completely awestruck. You stand there confused as he just stares at you for a moment before excusing himself and basically speed-walking to the house away from everyone. You turn and look at Quil confused "What's his problem" you ask genuinely Quil looks at you and tells you he will be right back before turning and walking to the house. You look around and lock eyes with Jacob, he walks over "What happened?" he asks me confused "I don't know, Quil and I were talking and then one of your friends walked up not even saying anything, and then ran to the house" a look of understanding crosses Jacobs face " I will be right back I promise" it seems like hours but it's more like a few minutes of sitting on one of the rocks watching the fire burn as everyone else is drinking and having a good time. You were about to stand and leave when Jacob came up to you "Hey, I'm sorry about that. He's just a little drunk don't worry about it. Everything is all good" Jacob says but you can tell something is off. Jacob still has the same lying face as he did when you were eight so you aren't easily convinced but decide to let it go. You and Jacob sit in awkward silence for a while until Quil comes back. "Hey, what are you guys talking about" Quil says in a much too cheery mood considering what just happened, "Nothing much, we're just enjoying the scenery" Jacob responds obviously trying to make it seem as though this isn't the weirdest interaction in the world. Out of the corner of your eye, you see someone walking up to you and turn your head, it is the same guy. "Hey guys" the man speaks to Jacob and Quil seeming perfectly fine now, with not even a hint of awkwardness, again acting like nothing happened. Suddenly, he turned to face you "I'm sorry about earlier, I don't know what got into me," he said a bit shy " I'm Embry, what's your name?" there was a spark in his eye as he spoke to you, like he already knew the answer, like he knew everything about you, like it was his life mission just to speak to you. "Don't worry about it, it happens," you say politely "My name is Y/N" his eyes perk up a bit at that. You don't know who he is and why he's acting so strangely but damn is he hot. Without your knowledge, Quil and Jacob left as you and Embry were talking. Now you were stuck, not that you minded having to talk to Embry, but something about him seemed off. "So I heard you just moved back here from (insert city/state name)?" Embry questioned "Yeah, My mom got her own bookstore and my dad got a new job that allows him to work from home so we decided to come back," you say as both of you start walking to a more secluded area of the beach "Are you happy to be back?" he says with a bit of hesitation, he's not trying to push any boundaries, it seems like he genuinely wants to get to know you "Yeah I'm pretty happy about it, I've always loved cold and rainy weather," you say making Embry laugh a bit "What?" you say looking at him with suspicion but a hint of amusement on your face "Nothing, nothing it's just not every day you hear someone actually enjoying that type of weather, it's my favorite too" he says blushing a bit as we come to a stop near the ocean. We've walked pretty far and we can only see the smoke from the fire rising above the rocks. "Y/N I need to tell you something," Embry says nervously.
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vaguely-concerned · 1 month
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I wanted to write out a more condensed version of the Garashir thoughts I accumulated through my read of a stitch in time, because it really is driving me slightly nuts. so here we go!
I think my basic takeaway is something like: if you look at what's actually on the page as dialogue and not just the story garak tells himself internally of what has happened between them (which is basically 'I've fucked up somehow and I don't know how or why but something's broken here and I messed it up; I have nothing left of interest to offer him', pretty clearly going over it in his head like he would trying to figure out what he did wrong when tain locked him in a closet as a child), you kind of get the feeling that julian doesn't know what to do with the way garak flinches away from him whenever he tries to get closer or offer help. (which like. not for nothing but that's actually the dynamic between garak and mila too, but with garak's role switched to the mostly-resigned seeker of contact rather than the flincher-away. we all know garak’s daddy issues but I think the mommy issues at work are doing some gulf stream shit under the surface as well lol.) so julian starts hesitating in seeking out contact in the first place, nevermind asking him for anything more when garak's also clearly falling apart mentally and seems unreachable in the first place. and Julian also doesn't want to mess this up and make something already fraught and painful even worse; he still wants to help! he always wants to help, that’s just who he is, he keeps trying through the whole book. and when garak mostly-gently but reflexively and firmly rebuffs him each time he tries… after a while it seems like he doesn't think he's welcome, or that he's imposing and garak doesn't really want him there — that he's just humoring him or something when he does let him in, just like garak was so afraid palandine was doing with him in the beginning. it’s only in the final scene between them that garak invites him in and asks for help on his own initiative. 
“I’m pleased you stopped by”/”No, you’re not,” he said quietly. ‘I really won’t take up any more of your time’. “You see, this is so difficult, Garak. I know what a private person you are, and how you detest people meddling in your affairs….”. “Your holosuite program. The one that allows me to visit the traumas of my childhood.”/“I hesitate to suggest this, remembering how you reacted the last time … but, yes, I feel it could make a difference,” the Doctor gamely admitted. (Julian I love you so much. Eternal optimist hours. Keep it up it’s going to get you spectacularly laid if you just get on that shuttle to Cardassia.) All these moments do not read to me as someone who has no interest in continuing or deepening this relationship (maybe the opposite, in fact), it gives me more the sense of someone who feels he keeps putting his foot in his mouth and making the damage worse no matter what he tries, and not knowing what else to do but to back off to save them both more pain. (he also needs help and support, but he’s not going to go ask it of someone who’s clearly in no position to give it (on account of visibly falling apart even more than usual). And also because the good doctor is such a hypocrite lol ‘of course you’re worth asking for and receiving help!! I’m just fine tho don’t worry about me *light is slowly dying in his eyes behind the smile as the seasons go on*’. Stiff upper lip to the point of psychological breakdown-off (cross-cultural, competitive))  
and the most painful thing to me is that after their disastrous tea party in garak’s shop, at the very least, garak clearly realizes he's hurting julian by keeping him out (But as to the question of which group suffers the most…), and he desperately wants to stop hurting him but he just doesn't know how!!! he's never learned how to close the distance! he's been locked completely into himself by the way tain shaped him and doesn't know how to get out of the closet so to speak yet! ('...am I not. *supposed* to pretend to be functional and have no needs. is that not like. my entire job interpersonally. I am confused.') it’s something Tolan already observes in him and grieves over when he comes home from Bamarren, and the years since have uh not helped with that particular problem lol. for all he longs for it, intimacy is like a hot stove to him; he can’t help but reach out, and he can’t help but flinch away when he actually comes into contact with it. almost the worst part is that I think Julian can tell some of that too and sort of understands it/doesn't hold it against him, and it just makes it even sadder, somehow. they both move so carefully around each other through this, because even in the middle of all that they really do try to be kind to each other the best they know how and it fucks me up so bad. which makes it even crazier and more touching that all of asit is basically garak processing his shit until he can get to the last line honestly — 'You're always welcome, Doctor'. he pulled a full lizardly mr darcy in the post-apocalypse here, he got around to starting to fix himself at least partly to be in a place where he could be able to meet Julian in the ways he needs if he wants that from him. And that drives me utterly insane thanks for asking!!! WILD BOOK COMPLETELY UNHINGED 300+ PAGE DECLARATION OF LOVE AND INTIMACY WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL
(this post started life as a tag ramble under @spocks-kaathyra‘s wonderful post about Julian’s side of it over here, but — as I’m sure you'll be astonished to learn at this point — I found I somehow had even more things to say, my neurons boileth over perpetually and it seems I just have to live with that)
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suffarustuffaru · 5 months
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why the emilia camp thinks otto is their most threatening member 👍
i see some people being confused on why the emilia camp collectively seems to agree that otto is the biggest threat there for some reason and like. yeah. i get it.
but let me explain real quick why i think it makes sense for the emilia camp to think that :O !!
otto though is disarming because. well okay look at him he doesnt look threatening at all. he has the looks and personality of a wet cat. hes whiny. hes cringe fail. he gets stressed out with paperwork. he looks like you could just smack him around like a bug. he HAS been smacked around like a bug. but that makes him unpredictable because apart from roswaal, he is the Most Amoral one there. you can expect roswaal to be trying some shit, but youd never know when to expect otto is planning something. his moral compass is just “does this benefit me or my loved ones in some way? if not, then its gonna be gone 🥺”.
sure, he does nice things sometimes out of the goodness of his heart. he genuinely means well a lot of the time.
but also then you read the shit hes thinking in his internal dialogue and its like.
“should i go save some girl i dont even know from bandits??? hmm lemme think for a couple minutes. im the only one that can help rn… some guy claiming to be her dad is begging me to help his daughter, but also hes kind of annoying… but i dont even live in this city so why should i help… or Care. actually. but i feel kinda bad about this girl… but also this is gonna put me and my profits in danger… but if i reject helping then im forever gonna be known as the guy who abandoned them and then i wont be able to make any sales in this city anymore :<<<< ……anyway im gonna help them then lol im so smart.” and then he gets captured by the exact same bandits anyway so hes like “well okay now me and this girl might be sold into slavery so i might as well save both of us or ill feel bad ☝️☝️”
(yes. yes this is genuinely ottos thought process if you read through the Otto's Bittersweet Peddling Log side story.)
except all the back and forth Calculation he does in his head Stays In His Head and doesnt match up with his outward appearance most of the time. which means that sometimes his words dont match up with his actions. “dont be surprised if i leave at the first sign of danger,” he says, right after risking his life and writing a suicide note over a dude hes known for like four days. “ahah thanks for giving me a vacation to see my family…” he says, damn well knowing he cant go back home yet otherwise he’ll get sniped by assassins. “im gonna give you some of my own money bounty money to help you BUT BUT BUT DONT THINK THAT IM NICE OR ANYTHING I NEED MOST OF THE MONEY FOR REPAIRS OK YOU CAN ONLY HAVE A BIT :<<<“
this also means that whenever otto says or does something Particularly Questionable, all his friends are still kinda blindsided by it because otherwise otto seems Mostly Fine in comparison to whatever the hell everyone else has going on. hes just a wet pathetic cat of a guy ahah. theres nothing more going on with h—
“if everyone in vollachia dies but rem and natsuki-san live, then we’ve won. if everyone in vollachia lives but rem and natsuki-san die, then we’ve lost.”
um otto can you repeat that. what the fuck did you just say.
otto looks Mostly Normal, Just Stressed Out or Somewhat Chilling the vast majority of the time, and then he whacks you over the head with a steel chair. like can you imagine being garfiel and learning that this pathetic rag of a man is actually pretty brave when it counts. youre like “oh cool lol we kinda beat each others asses and i was Annoyed but now that thats all over i got some newfound respect for you!!” and then you read through his diary and hes got a suicide note in there, which is like. okay fine whatever hes kind of a clown just like my New Captain lol but hes dedicated to his friends, ill give him that. and then a year later you find your now brother figure (whos also lowkey highkey an alcoholic) with a broken hand after punching a wall because he couldnt do his Lets Abandon 50 Million People Plan and youre just sitting there going
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and okay dont get me wrong—subaru is Batshit Crazy. in Multiple Incomprehensible Ways. if the emilia camp (or Anyone. At All.) knew about all the shit hes done and been through with rbd, subaru would INSTANTLY be skyrocketing up the Most Threatening People list. but at the same time subarus less threatening than otto in the sense that subarus Always going to want to do good. hes Always going to want to save everyone. hes Extremely forgiving, on top of that. he goes along picking up friends everywhere he goes in his own Incomprehensible Unhinged Way and hes fond of All of them.
otto? yeah his opinion of you could shift on a dime and you could end up in his personal shit list unless youre one of the *checks list* *clears throat* maybe like ten people he cares about. and even if youre on the I Care About You! :) list, he could still get pissed enough at you to, i dont know, punch a wall over you? and spiral into obsession? and even if hes not upset at you hes still gonna mansplain manipulate malewife his way to his goals <33
and yeah of course subaru is also Mansplain Manipulate and Gaslight Gatekeep but at least he has way more good intentions AND his attitude about it is gonna be like "sorry :<<< i just gotta do this for your sake :<<<<<< :((( haha dont worry about it". subaru would never ever want to do anything big to hurt his loved ones (except for rbd). while otto doesnt even bat an eye. everyone can be manipulated if he has to. he goes down his list of Things I Need To Do and goes "yeah that had to be done. oh well. anyway i got more shit to do (like maybe kill a toddler lol)"
also lets talk about roswaal's perspective really quick. post-arc 4 hes like "well subaru-kun is always gonna want to save everyone and hes doing a pretty good job of things in general so whatever lol. i can still keep him in check by killing everyone if even one of his friends dies :)". so its like. YEAH subarus an Unhinged Wildcard. roswaal knows that. but right now subaru is more predictable and also again, roswaal knows he can keep subaru in check by making subaru have to reset if roswaal really needs to.
but otto? yeah ottos second in line for being an Unhinged Wildcard. but whats even worse is that otto is Basically Subaru but More Calculating and with a moral backbone thats Near Nonexistent. roswaal was genuinely concerned for otto in arc 8 for once and there was still Literally No Stopping Otto from being a stubborn little shit whos hell bent on all the maladjusted insane mentalities hes got floating around in his head, half of which he doesnt even say out loud, and all of which he thinks is Completely Right and that theres Nothing Wrong with what hes doing.
and also otto being underestimated and Not In The Tome was a big help as to how subaru got the win over roswaal in arc 4 👍and then otto Continues to try keeping an eye on roswaal after arc 4, to the point of getting roswaal's tome and actively trying to investigate roswaal's actions, so roswaal is Very Aware that otto is. a bit of a threat. roswaal of course is smarter and more powerful than otto though, but that still doesnt change the fact that otto is still capable of being a threat if roswaal doesnt Also kind of keep an eye on otto back. because roswaal kind of lost to otto already in arc 4!!
but okay, on top of all of this, no one knows the full extent of whats going on with otto, not even roswaal (though he has his Suspicions), and most definitely not subaru yet (whos Still a bit of an otto apologist anyway), and otto is already a bit menacing even without knowing All of that. and the rest of the emilia camp are already a bit more lenient with roswaal (as hes seemingly chilled out after arc 4 + they all need him still). that, and you can easily Expect roswaal post-arc 4 to be suspicious and Probably up to something. you wont know what it is, but you wont Exactly be surprised when it happens.
and also roswaal isnt publicly batshit crazy like otto is. otto of course isnt as Openly Weird as subaru, but otto is still Openly Unhinged and Pathetic. just look at him declaring julius and anastasia, HIS CAMP'S ALLIES, as enemies right to their faces alsdfjlsdjfl.
and with subaru, there is Zero doubt in the emilia camp's minds that subaru wants the best for them and everyone around them.
otto though? yeah he also wants whats best for the camp. he Cares about them, he really does. but hes so obviously Questionable by the time you get to arc 8 to the point where the entire rest of the camp starts eyeing him like this:
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theres also the fact that ottos dp allows him to have eyes and ears Everywhere so long as he doesnt overuse it. that paired with his Intelligence, Stubbornness, and Lack of Morals or self-awareness/sometimes guilt/regret over his actions is dangerous. theres a reason why gluttony if subaru decided to flood The Entire Surrounding Area Around Otto. the flood took away the potential army otto couldve made out of the animals and allies otto had in the city, and once you do that, whats otto going to do against someone like shaula? all of ottos power regarding his People Skills and Animal DP was stripped away.
but if that Isnt stripped away... well honestly otto can do whatever the hell he wants the moment he figures out a solid plan to try and get what he wants. his biggest ability at the core of what makes him dangerous is his ability to quite Literally be in the background. so long as hes underestimated, so long as he still has secrets, no ones gonna know the full extent of his bullshit!! you cant stop him if you dont even realize what hes going to do, and hes Good at doing that!!
and if gluttonybaru hadnt taken out otto, subaru would be skyrocketing right to the top of ottos shit list after subaru literally just killed All of ottos (and previously subarus.) loved ones. otto wouldnt stop until he figured out how to destroy subaru. its to the point where im pretty sure if otto had to choose between destroying half the world vs kill gluttonybaru once and for all, otto would certainly choose one of those options in a Heartbeat.
anyway. if youre an emilia camp member, and you see the dude whos in charge of the Vast Majority of the factions political affairs, the guy who you Know is very intelligent and competent and determined when it counts, say shit like "if everyone dies in this entire country i wouldnt even give a single flying fuck as long as our friends get back safe and sound :) it would be such a loss if the entire country lived but our friends didnt :<<<" OF COURSE I WOULD BE LIKE YEAH THAT GUY IS THE MOST DANGEROUS ONE HERE. HE HAS THE SKILLS AND THE MOTIVATION TO BACK UP THAT STATEMENT AND I WONT EVEN KNOW WHEN ITD HAPPEN. he also has the Mental Instability to back that up too, given the amount of times he spends drinking and Raging and Being Terribly Anxious over Every Little Thing.
youll be sweating buckets being wary of otto while ottos casually standing there with his wet cat looks and a knife in your back.
and otto has, for the most part, some of the most normal trauma compared to a bunch of people in this cast (not to discount ottos trauma and pain or anything but its true lajdsfls sorry otto. but also im not sorry because arc 5 was partially on you T^T). he doesnt have rbd, he doesnt have some weird family drama bullshit going on like the astreas or emilias family or the segmunts, he hasnt been erased by gluttony, etc etc. but hes still like this. if you put him in subarus position and gave him rbd, he would get even worse than he already is.
yeah so anyway thats my quick rambley psa about why i think it makes sense that the emilia camp's voted otto as the most threatening one there 👍
but the fact that we (the audience) (or at least some of us!!) keep questioning why the hell the emilia camp thinks otto is the biggest threat there is means that otto's funny silly guy image is. Kind of Working??? just a little bit.
because. granted. of course i think subaru is easily the most threatening person there with both His Flavor of Insanity and rbd. subaru is an eldritch horror in every single way. but at the same time - hes an eldritch horror who thinks friendship is the best magic of all T^TT !!! he FORGIVES PEOPLE WHO'VE KILLED AND TORTURED HIM. hes not threatening in this sense - the fact that hes kind of just way too nice in this sense!!! granted yes, he IS abusing rbd and Terrifying and Threatening in a multitude of ways, but i'd rather take my chances with mainbaru over main otto right now HAH T^TT at least subaru will apologize and start bawling his eyes out if he stabs some random innocent civilian and stranger in the gut for Some Necessary Reason!! otto would feel a bit bad and then completely Eradicate that feeling of guilt with "i had to do it. it was them or me so no regrets <3".
because otto..................... yeah otto is the Worlds Most Pathetic Yandere to his whole camp.
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pap03 · 9 months
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Okay so I originally wrote this on Discord so apologies for any jank
But I need to get out my mega LOVE theory for Deltarune somehow, and Discord is the only place I've wrote it down lol
Anyways what got me going was this here difference in stats
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Both being a post-Snowgrave Kris, just one from the Light World and the other from the Dark World
And this discrepancy would be strange right? If both LV's stood for the same thing
Which I'd why I claim that they do not
Rather that the LV in the Light World still refers to the LOVE of UT
While the LV in the Dark Worlds stands more properly for a "Level" a way of gauging the amount of Experience the Fun Gang have
Doubly true as the Dark World stats measure nowhere "EXP" aka "Execution Points"
From what I can tell Level only goes up upon reaching certain HP values, as Noelle goes from Level 1 to Level 2 in the Dark World
Since Noelle "Levels up" upon finishing just one act of violence in the Dark World
So I think it'll be possible later on to Level up early if you're violent enough
Sorta opposite of how it worked in UT, where you needed to LOVE up to get HP
In Dark Worlds you need to get your HP up to Level up
But that’s a bit of a tangent; continuing on
With the ground rules laid out that LV and LV can exist synchronously the next thought in my ramblings was that I need some proof that Noelle will continue to be our main Puppet, to explain why this LV theory should be relevant
And on that front, I got several bits
Easiest for me to lay out here is that the Survey taker at the beginning of ch 1 has special dialogue if you name yourself after a majority of the party members
This includes: Kris, Susie, and Noelle
All 4 share the same reaction
Secondarily Noelle lays out herself in the hospital that she's gonna figure out what's going on with Kris, which means to me that she'll keep coming around Kris, even despite the coercion into murder
And lastly, Noelle’s crush on Susie has so much unmissable screentime that Chekov would shit his grave if there were no resolution to it
This established leaves the first 2 core tenents of my theory
1. LOVE exists
2. Noelle will be the sole Snowgraver as the game progresses
For the sake of it, let's tackle the ramifications of both of these in order, as 1 heavily leans into 2
1. LOVE as we know it in Undertale exists in some way form or fashion in Deltarune
Natural questions that raises
- Do Darkners count for EXP? Yes, I'd say so, given the inverse effect on how Levels contribute to HP compared to how Undertale's LOVE and HP work, and the fact Noelle gains HP faster than the rest of the Party when they commit violence I'd argue there's a secondary element increasing her vitality, that being her LOVE increasing
- If LOVE exists why isn't Noelle a complete psycho killer in the Light World? Because that's not how LOVE works, by sans's admission LV contributes to making it easier to hurt others, and easier to distance yourself, but never expresses that it creates a want to kill, although that does seem to be a side effect which I'll get into next section
Mechanics of LOVE across Undertale and Deltarune:
For most people who've played a neutral run of Undertale, you'll be remiss to note anything going on as you gain LV. As much as I love Frisk as the blank slate of a protagonist that they are, their lack of emotions makes it hard to tell what exact the differences are between an LV 3 individual and an LV 7 one, differences sans can tell, but we can't really
So then we have to look elsewhere, mainly the Genocide run and comparing characters who may have killed in UT to their murderless counterparts in Deltarune
- Early LV's 1-6
At this point a person has killed a bit, but is also where the effects of each individual LV is the most noticeable, as sans has unique dialog for every LV here
What this tells me is that your first kills change you the most compared to later kills
Also during this LV range we see Frisk start their way through Snowdin in a Geno run, where they skip puzzles without our input, and are generally quieter than even before
I call this part of the LV grind "Getting Colder" for many reasons, partially for the pun, but also how we see Frisk act much more distant, aka cold, towards their surroundings and walk through situations, giving of an energy of "I don't care, let me through"
Considering this is also the LV's you'd end the game at for killing just Toriel or Undyne (two impassable bosses without killing or their special sparing method) that general sentiment persists
For the sake of it, I also reference Gerson and Asgore, Gerson was in the War of Humans and Monsters and has intimate knowledge about human combat and abilities, and while it's canon that no human casualties were suffered through the whole War, I would not be surprised if Gerson had to put down a fellow monster or two during the chaos after the Barrier was first erected. Yet despite that idea, Gerson is still just a bubbly, slightly traumatized, old man in Waterfall telling me that you can work past Early LVs. Yet there's also Asgore, as of the time of me writing this the only character who has canonically (and confirmed to) taken the life of anything, and as of our time encountering him, he's distantly removed from the act he's doing, which is another murder. However I must mention that there's a lot of shit there for Asgore compared to Deltarune's Asgore that could lead to the state he's in beyond LOVE so take that with a grain of salt
- Middle LV's 7-14
This is where an interesting switch occurs, specifically at LV 9 but the larger grouping together sorta encompasses it all. This is where Frisk (yes Frisk I'll elaborate if I have to) begins to enjoy the act of killing, smiling before every encounter, and even reveling in the fear of others, such as when Frisk intimidates Monster Kid just before the Undying fight
Now above I talk about how wanting to kill isn't a symptom of LV, and I still believe that
While this seems to be contradicting evidence to that claim I don't think so, as I think it's around this point that one becomes so distant that the act of killing someone else doesn't invoke any feeling of remorse anymore
Where Frisk's enjoyment is derived from is their "Determination" as at the point they're smiling they've killed every monster they could find up to this point, so they're happy to "finish what they started" and also why the Smile goes away if you abort Geno at this point forward as that goal of eradication is gone
- High LV's 15-19
This is the grouping we know the least about, as the majority of these are Geno exclusive, CORE/Hotland exclusives no less which at this point the whole Underground is on lockdown so any unique traits from here are lost in translation, from best we can tell, anything shy of all kills isn't labeled as "True Evil" by MTT and LV 17 is labeled as "Bad at being evil" by sans
So perhaps there's some room for redemption at this point? Idk, sans doesn't think so at LV 19, but it's an interesting thought
- LV 20
This one gets a special mention just because of how everything goes down
The Mercy Button is gone
Frisk is able to make inputs without Player input
And at this LV it's possible to summon the Demon, a manifestation of the evils you caused and power you gained by pushing this world to its limits that quite literally has the power to attack the game box Undertale is played in
This demon is the single most powerful being we've encountered inside of UT/DR outside of maybe Asriel
Now, with everything LOVE-related established we can also use it as a symptom list to diagnose Noelle at where she's at and take a rough estimate as to how much LOVE a single Snowgrave run would allow for
And well, I won't run yall through the numbers so to speak but she's solidly in the Early LV's
She still has remorse for the deaths she did cause
But she's also able to distance herself from her actions there, could be grief but her interactions with her father on Snowgrave compared to a Main Route shows to me that she's a little more reserved, which also falls in line with Early LV symptoms
So what does that leave?
Well, as someone pointed out to me before, Noelle has some violent tendencies
They're reserved, but come out when say, Berdly also has a crush on Susie, or if it's encouraged (see what this whole post is about lol)
See also the theory that the damage at the beginning of the Cyber World was caused by Noelle, not Queen, and there's reason to see where things may go as Noelle breaches into the Middle LV's
I see her, like Frisk, enjoying the slaughter as things continue on
So to conclude my little LOVE Theory I see the rest of Deltarune going as such
1 more route of us manipulating Noelle into killing, she'll be far more resistive, but I know we'll break through, with the boss of that area that she kills (secret boss or another Lightner) the last we'll see of Noelle she'll have cracked a smile
Then from there on she'll easy, fights will break out just from her instigation, or from others more heroic trying to get in her way
By the end I think we'll have to fight her, and she'll kick our asses
Or we'll have to fight Kris
It's hard to know that far ahead
But using LOVE alone, that's how I see things going
Thanks for reading if you did! Feel free to comment and discuss or ask me questions through my ask box. Hope you enjoyed my transcribed madness lol
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pagemasters · 1 month
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Fantasies He…
BABY’S FIRST FIC!!!
Author’s notes: So after reading so many for years I thought maybe it’s my turn to take a crack at it. There’s I think 3 parts to this, with the first one having basically no smut and mostly platonic fluff between Az and Feyre, but part 3? Can’t say the same thing for the middle Archeron sister lmao
I swear this started out to be one part but the story told me otherwise, part 2 is fully drafted I’m just revising and editing
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I’m a very visual person, so enjoy the floor plan of the nursery and a rough sketch of what I think her mural would be and the star! I am a painter if it wasn’t obvious so the whole portion on starfall stars is actually based on how Bob Ross paints his northern lights, just with modifications BUT I haven’t tried it myself for this specific purpose. Also the colour of Feyre and Rhys’s stars are the colours of the first ones that hit them during Starfall btw! I love the platonic relationships between the inner circle and we don’t get enough of it
If you enjoyed it I would love u forever if you let me know!! :)
Ps. Omg dialogue is so difficult to make realistic but also in character, none of that “hey big brother” etc. shit you see in tv shows where you’re like who tf says that to their sibling ?? Ps.ps. I haven’t taken an English writing class for 5 years so if punctuation was wrong let’s pretend it wasn’t LMAO
I CANT FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO AO3 LINK BUT IT’S ON THERE WITH THE SAME USERNAME LOL SORRY
Summary:
Azriel spends the day with Feyre, only to get caught in the rain on the way home. Good thing the townhouse is empty. Or is it…
CHAPTER ONE: DAYDREAMING
The rain finally decided to make its appearance as Azriel stepped out of the River house. Taking a deep breath, he let the soothing scent wash over him as he relaxed his wings. 
The meeting with Rhys was short, just a weekly update on the goings around the other courts and allies, nothing that required the full inner circle to make an appearance. Something he knew after centuries of this work should be a good thing, but it doesn’t stop the pang in his chest at the missed opportunity of seeing her. 
Not that he didn’t try to catch a glimpse of her. He did take a walk through the beautiful home his brother had built for his mate after seeing him, the smell of cedar and masonry long since faded from the construction days; replaced with flowers and candles and the dinner his shadows whispered Nuala and Cerridwen were working on. The scent of paint lingered though, and he discovered the reason why as he got to the residential wing. His High Lady wasn’t in her studio, but he found her nonetheless with a brush in her tattooed hand. 
“I think you missed a spot.” Az said from the doorway, trying to repress his smile at her startled reaction. Even though Feyre and Rhys opted for doorways fashioned with wings in mind, he kept his drawn in tight, not wanting to risk smearing her paint as he stepped inside. 
“Rhys won’t let me use the step ladder without him holding it. And me. And the bump.” Feyre twisted to look up from her spot on the floor and smiled in greeting before lowering the brush to pat her stomach in emphasis. She gave her mate’s antics an affectionate eye roll and shake of her head before releasing a heavy sigh, glancing back at her work. 
“If I remember correctly,” Az teased, “you are prone to falling quite spectacularly.”
She let out an indignat squawk so loud he had to bite his lips to prevent laughing, her body spinning so fast to face him fully that paint ended up splattering from her brush to the white drop cloth. 
Their flying lessons had ceased for the most part since the war, so watching her fly into a tree or eat rocks wasn’t as common an occurrence— but that’s not to say that still doesn’t happen. Knowledge he happens to be privy to not just as her flight teacher, but as the spymaster, something she’s very aware of if the narrowing of her eyes and mouth hanging open are any indication. 
It’s hard not to notice the similarities between the sisters, when even with your eyes closed the cadence of their speech was also similar. But it was never so apparent between youngest and oldest Archeron as when Feyre’s eyes pinned him in place, the expression of mock outrage was so much like Nesta’s it was almost comical. 
“Ruuuude,” she said, drawing the word out in a whine with pouted lips, no doubt remembering the amount of face plants he’d witnessed when she first began to fly. “I see how you treat your High Lady, Shadowsinger. Just wait, it’s not too late for me to paint a little something in your bedroom.”
“And here I thought pouting and grumbling was beneath royalty, at least you can say you’re a tree hugger.”
She gave him a gesture that was certainly beneath royalty, and he didn’t hold back his chuckle this time. 
“What gave you that idea, have you even met Rhys?” 
“Oh trust me, you should’ve seen him when we were kids.” He said, grabbing her hands to help her stand. “He discovered in a book that while bat wings look identical to ours, the anatomy of their wing is labeled similar to that of the hand. So for them, their talons are their thumbs. After that, he took it upon himself to hang upside down in silent protest whenever he was mad, but didn’t want his mother to wash his mouth out with soap for swearing.”
“He did not.”
“Mhmm, until his faced turned purple.”
“And where were you and Cass for all this?” Feyre said through her giggling, a wide grin of unrestrained joy plastered on her face. 
“He couldn’t have done it alone, a thumbs down by yourself would look stupid.”
“Ah yes, because the three of you hanging upside down like overgrown bats isn’t ridiculous.” She cackled, “How long until he gave it up?”
“A few weeks. After Cassian passed out in the middle of camp and we all got broken capillaries on our faces. Still, a better alternative than the awful tasting soap in Illyria.” 
“What, as opposed to other tasting soap?” He just shrugged, smiling. 
Rhys’s mom’s reaction to warriors dragging them across the rocky ground home was as lively in his memory as she was when she berated them when her son fessed up. She was less thrilled to hear the real reason than Devlon was having passed out children strewn about the place, but she never did call them out on the lie they fed to Devlon about it being a dare when he came banging on their door. That night though when they were more lucid, she brought them on foot to one of the mountains surrounding their outpost and stood them at the opening of a cave. He still remembers the eyes he felt on them, the warning bells ringing from his shadows as she gestures her hands out and said, “If you want to act like bats, you can join them; or you can toughen up, learn how and when to pick battles and what hills are worth to dying on. Because there will be more people who will piss you off, but this is not an option when you’re leading armies. So,” her hazel eyes meeting each of theirs, “What will it be? Do you want to stay here or take the soap and fly right on home.” Needless to say they bolted home with the taste of pine tar suds coating their mouths like a film no amount of water could rid them of the taste. He could still feel the eyes of whatever was in that cave the entire way home, but thank the cauldron he could fly at that point. His heart ached at the memory of the female, the one he knew picked a low cave for him to make her point, just in case. The one his shadows caught a few times after that upside down on the couch after a rough day when she thought she was alone. 
As Feyre’s amusement continued with eyes glazed over—no doubt having a silent conversation with Rhys—Az cleared his throat, his shadows pulling back as he gestured to their surroundings and asked, “So how’s the nursery coming along?” 
“It’s going great,” she replied after a moment, her laughter subsiding as she surveyed the mural.  “I know it’s not geographically correct, and that Starfall and the time when our courts insignia’s stars show don’t overlap, but I couldn’t not include them. I want  him and any possible future child to see the night court as I did when I first fell in love with it and their dad.” 
Indeed, while he knew Rhys was already in love with her, he got to watch Feyre love him back as much as he deserved in real time the longer she was here. And the way she captured the land they all loved so much here was… breathtaking. 
On the wall that held the doorway he just stepped through lay the mountain with the moonstone palace atop it. The first place she saw here. They both knew where the doors to Hewn city rest below, but it was covered by the landscape. As if there were no room for nightmares in this room, even if it was a court this babe may one day rule. 
“I have no idea how you made that mountain so realistic,” he said to her in awe, pointing to the painting adjacent to the wall they just looked at. 
“The crib is going to go right below it when the rooms done. I want it to watch over him.” She replied almost reverently as she looked up. 
The mountain was the tallest of the three she painted, and it looked just as it had on his trek up there with his brothers during the rite. Physically it was practically stone for stone, those three stars lines up overhead perfectly, but the energy differed. Instead of the cold and foreboding thing he remembered on the way up, it seemed almost… euphoric? As if the wild joy and love Rhysand, Cassian and he felt as they made their way to the top and won seeped its way onto the painting. Like the unyielding strength from that mountain and what it brought out of them would guide and protect him, just like it did for the three winged dots surrounding the monolith at the tip. How that was even possible was beyond him. 
He could barely tear his gaze away, but snickered as he saw the tiny but recognizable building at the base of it to the right. “The cabin, huh?”
“Of course, gotta prep him for one day kicking all of your asses during your snowball fight.” She added, blushing. “I put few snowballs flying just for good luck.”
Though he knew the other reason the cabin was significant to Feyre and Rhys, the thought of his future nephew joining their game warmed him. But It did make trying not to focus on other non-winged and winged babies that could one day join in the snowball fight impossible. Children have always been an abstract idea, a figment he knew existed but besides Rhys’s sister, he wasn’t around. And after what happened to her… He thought for a long time he would never have one of his own, but that sentiment start to change in recent years. He could avoid it most days though, but being surrounded by the baby stuff made the hypothetical harder to ignore. The thoughts on if he’d have his own little ones propped on his hip and curled into his chest with their chubby cheeks and inquisitive eyes. If they would have his hazel or her golden brown ones, or something different if they adopted. Would their little hands or clothes or hair get caught in the scales of his armour just like hers did when he took her on her first flight to the town house from the House of Wind, when he held her for the first time. Would Elain… Az paused, stopping that train of thought before it just twisted the knife even further, seeing more things he can’t have. 
His shadows began to circle him, and if Feyre noticed she politely didn’t comment on it before pointing out what she was working on when he interrupted her. 
To the right of the cabin and right were she was sat Velaris, and it really did look like a city of starlight with how she painted the glowing nightscape. He could make out the four markets that were the heart of the city, with extra emphasis on where the town house sat along with the new residence they were currently in. Bisecting through it all, the Sidra River looked so realistic he could probably skip a rock across its surface. It flowed like a living thing, reflecting the lights from the buildings on its edge and even the stars above. Two of which weren’t normal stars. 
Above the city proper and even the flat topped mountain that held the House of Wind was the beginnings of starfall. 
“How-“Azriel could barely get out, “how is this even possible?”
“Perks of now being immortal; plenty of time to practice. And having a husband with wings who takes you to get aerial views.” She simply said gesturing to their city, as if she didn’t create magic with swipes of colours. 
“The green one is mine, and the light blue one is Rhys’s. I’m planning to get everyone to add their own star to the wall.” Now looking him, she smirked. “Which means you came at a perfect time, Shadowsinger. Your turn.”
He gave her an unbelieving expression, shadows instantly vanishing. “You can’t be serious.”
Her eyes twinkled with mischief, “if I trust Cassian with a paintbrush, you’ll be fine. He’s coming by in a few days when he gets a free moment, Nesta and her two friends are keeping him busy with training.” Nesta is keeping him busy with more than just that, it’s a wonder he even has energy to train them. 
But looking at Rhysand’s mate, Azriel saw her glow in a way different from her powers. Feyre radiated joy as her hand cradled her stomach despite barely showing, not caring about paint getting on her already splattered clothes. For his brother, for the friend beside him and his nephew in her womb, he removed his jacket and let out a resounding sigh in defeat. “What do you need me to do?” 
So Feyre excitedly brought him over to her pile of paint tubes on the drop cloth. She grabbed the white and as he selected the colour phthalo blue she went off to prep the clean, dry brushes and a fresh palette for him. 
“So pick the area of the sky you want your star to be, I’d like to keep the inner circle’s additions mostly above Velaris, but I’ll add tiny ones fading out once everyone is done. Amren and Mor are away, Cass is busy and who knows if or when Nesta would want to contribute. That means besides Rhys and I, you have the pick of the litter.”
“What about Elain?” He asked, trying to keep his voice and face as neutral as possible when she handed him a 3 inch brush already dipped in his blue. 
“I’ll drag her in here after dinner when she gets in from the garden. The colour of the sky is already dry which is the important part, so there’s no time constraint on when everyone adds theirs besides my due date.” She gave him a knowing smile which he dutifully ignored, along with the disappointment in his chest as she confirmed Elain wasn’t in. “Now I want you to cover a large area of where you generally want the shape of the star to go, it doesn’t have to be perfect but cover much more than you think you’d need to.”
He hesitates, “won’t this cover up your sky? It’s a dark colour.”
“Just trust me.”
He followed her instructions, cringing as his brush made contact with her beautiful wall and went over the faint background stars she had already done, but relaxed when he saw they were still partially visible. 
Az looked back at her, seeing his shadows lazily inspecting them, as if they wanted a part in the activity their master is occupied with. Feyre playfully eyed the curious one that grazed her hand as she took his current brush from his scarred hand to switch it. “Now with this fan brush, I want you to coat it in the white paint. And as you do so, get a feel for how the bristles bend and move.”
Doing as High Lady said, he got her guidance once he brought the loaded brush to the wall, being sure to dab, not swipe the white in a near full coverage circle followed by a line over the shade of blue he had no idea how to pronounce. 
“So this is where the magic begins,” she stated when he finished and passed a third brush over, a flat paddle one identical to the first and this time a cloth. “You see that perfectly clean teardrop you made? You’re gonna ruin it.”
At the alarmed look he gave her, she just cackled. “I knew you’d make that face, Rhys did the exact same. I want you to very lightly swipe the brush starting at the largest end of the teardrop and out towards the tail of the star. That’s the only motion you’ll be doing. And after each swipe you can gently wipe off the brush before starting again. You can also practice the strokes around the mountain until you feel ready like Rhys did, the sky there is also dry.”
With a deep breath, he took a step away and tried it until he felt like he got the technique she wanted down. This was for his family, he reminded himself, he will not let his nephew down. And despite getting her nod of approval, he still felt like he was going in blind as he did what she said and his jaw dropped. 
Well shit. Now he understood why she wanted him to put down the colour he chose first. 
“The blue is actually transparent; so while it looks dark in the tube, it blends out much lighter. Especially with white under or overtop. You’re doing wet-on-wet blending.” What was once just a bright blob over blue so dark you couldn’t see it on her perfect walls, he could now see how the white faded. How the light and the dark mixed until they became one. So Az wiped the excess off his brush, and continued on and on until it looked similar enough to what she and Rhys created. They fell into a rhythm, Feyre handing him back the fan brush to brighten or a new one with bristles so impossibly soft as they worked as a team. She barely had to tell him what to do now, so with next to no pressure he feathered it out vertical rather than the almost horizontal strokes from before, until only a streak of blue light remained. They could’ve been at this for minutes or hours, he had no idea. He didn’t even question her instruction to use a densely bristled tool he could’ve sworn was a toothbrush to flick on watered down white paint for the star trail. 
“This is incredible, Feyre.” He stated, stepping back at last.
“That wasn’t me, that was all you my friend.” She grinned at him. “Once everyone’s is dry, I’m adding a sheer shimmery paint to make them pop, but even without it you did a beautiful job.”
He felt heat rise to his face, and inclined his head in thanks without removing his eyes from the wall. 
“You certainly have an eye for this, Az. Care to quit and become a painter? I could use an assistant.”
A chill went through him, and he started to turn in her direction before the window caught his attention. Dusk must have fallen along with the rain who knows how long ago. About to rub his temples, Feyre squeaked out a warning before he remembered the task at hand and looked down at himself. The plain black long sleeve shirt covered in splatters didn’t matter, he goes through them like water for work but the paint coating his skin made his stomach drop the same way her jest did. Much different than the red he was used to seeing there, all the blood he still couldn’t wash away.
He can paint a picture with his knife, but nothing like Feyre’s ability of creation. Each slash he makes as delicate and precise a dance as any Nesta favours, but instead it’s to a symphony of screams. And unlike Elain… the only soil he sees is grave dirt. If the bodies make it that far. 
His work is never meant to been seen by others, it’s means to and end, a way to protect his family and his court. Unlike their work, where it would be a crime to hide it from the world.
“Tempting offer, Cursebreaker,” Az murmured, swapping the dirty cloth for a damp one his shadows brought him. Paying close attention to his siphons and not his scars, he still didn’t feel clean enough no matter how hard he wiped the paint from his skin. “Sadly, I don’t think your mate would be too thrilled to have to hire someone else to feed the creatures in Hewn City.”
She snorted, making a lighthearted comment about at least no one had to feed Byraxis, for now… The forced tease in her voice didn’t fool him as she realized she must’ve hit a nerve, but he appreciated her effort anyway.
“I do have to head out, but I’ll pop by soon to see the progress when I drop off paperwork.” He told her, his lips pressed to the top of her head and shockingly made contact with her hair in a brief farewell. Rhys must’ve lessened the shield knowing Az was with her, but not by much considering both her and the babe’s scent was still concealed. 
Feyre did invited him to stay for dinner which he politely declined. It wouldn’t be served for an hour, but he needed space and to fly to clear his head—still feeling like if he looked down he’d be dripping blood that didn’t belong to him as he made his was out. He did try not to rush out as he walk through the maze of supplies strewn about the covered floor, keeping his wings high even as his shadows tugged at him, but he had a feeling she knew his reason for leaving. Well, at least the other reason. 
Lightning cracks through the sky, snapping Azriel out of his memories. Damn, He must be more tired than he thought. If breaking one of the cardinal rules of flying—also known as “PAY ATTENTION JACKASS!” by his brothers when they taught him—wasn’t enough, he’s not even going to the right place. Despite not living there for years, he’d been heading towards the town house and not the House of Wind. 
The storm just seems to be picking up, but at least with the downpour he no longer felt the warm spray of blood coating him rather than the paint, he just felt nothing at all. Well, nothing besides wanting to get the fuck home. Az really didn’t have the energy to fly up a mountain or winnowing through this even if it wouldn’t be his first time. But considering how often lightning hits the rocks rather than the surrounding city, crashing at the town house is easiest. It’s for the best, with it sitting empty now. At least he’d be alone. 
Az pauses mid-flight though, when he notices the lights already on inside. And the smoke rising from the chimney only to dissipate in the rain.
What the hell? Who would be dumb enough to break into their high lord and inner circle’s home? It’s not like it’s broadcasted who owns the house but it’s pretty common knowledge after this long. 
At least storms can be a great tool for his field of work, it’s almost a blessing in disguise he plans to use to its full advantage. Landing atop the roof as gently as possible, he ensures his wing beat blends in with the rain like it has hundreds of times before. Using his siphons to unlock the door and slipping inside, the creak of the hinge merely just a gust of wind as he shuts it behind him. 
That’s when the smell of jasmine and honey hits him so strongly he has to bite back his moan. But it seems like he was the only one who did. 
Because mixed within that scent ingrained in his brain, is Elain’s arousal. 
And she’s…
Oh fuck. 
Fuck fuck fuck fuck
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til-f · 4 months
Text
PJO Show Thoughts. Episode 7: We find out the truth (not)
Alright. I just don't even know. I thought the pacing was marginally better here. Scenes flowed nicer. And I thought the dialogue wasn't so useless.
Yay!!!! Crusty scene!!!!!!
Literally right off the fucking BAT, the first words in the episode are percy explaining exactly what's going to happen, who crusty is, no shenanigans, no mystery, no fun villain scene, nothing. oh my FUCKING GOD, it's every good scene THEY RUIN IT its CRAZY. ACTUALLY CRAZY.
It's the same shit every episode. Oh, fun monster scene where the monster tries to trick them and the fight builds while we figure out who the monster is???? NOPE!!! it's actually complete bullshit. it's ridiculous. where's rick????
Okay I see the red ball. yay!
I'll live with the plot changes even though it sucks. I'll live with it. it's just bad show writing that i'm annoyed with now.
OH MY GOD WHY IS SALLY SUCH A BITCH !!! lolollollL
I did miss the scene were percy bribes charon to let them pass. why change that. why take out a fun bit like that. instead they're like, take everything charon!!! we're so stupid, just let us into the underworld so I can save my mom !!!!!
The cerberus scene was way more complicated than it needed to be lol. but I think the underworld was cool
Back to 3 pearls.... I think rick is just trying to annoy us now.
I do like the flashbacks. My dumbass is just hoping that it all transitions very beautifully into percy's fallen hero arc but these are just my dumb dreams !!!!!!
So annabeth is gone? okay
The root/regret/ thing was completely unnecessary psychology that was stupid
The tartarus, shoe bit was good
"is this our stop, or?" LOL
Hades is weird and awkward and way to cheerful. this god is supposed to be a scorned, jaded ass, lazy, arrogant, bastard, dripping with grease and jealousy and grudges.
DID YALL SEE WHERE HADES WAS LIKE, FOLDING LAUNDRY??? LMAO WHAT
Hades sucks
I just wanted the line, "I'll find your helm, Uncle. I'll return it." nope!!
I guess hades is offering to protect them? because there's going to be a war with kronos and he wants the master bolt for protection ?????? SLOW YOUR ROLL WRITERS. WE'RE NOT FUCKING THERE YET. EVEN WHEN THE WAR WAS A C T I V E L Y occuring hades didn't give a FUCK. whatever. now i'm anger. plus, nothing about how hades sent the furies.... it didn't seem like hades thought percy stole his helm, which was like,,,,, teh whole ass point. jesus christ
Poseidon is meh
Sally is meh
I guess their convo was fine, i didn't mind it. I liked when poseidon was saying that he'll be there for percy, when he knows who he is. Which is cool, even though who percy should "be" is very different to sally. I can't wrap my brain around what the writers want me to be thinking, you know?
no mention again of how they're past the solstice deadline??? you'd think that would have been a bigger deal but OKAY
ares is the best god by far at this point
overall, I really shouldn't be spending so much of my limited free time writing these long posts about the episodes, when I have been getting well, not a whole lot of pleasure watching them. but these characters are still my babies, and I will continue to support the making of the show even though it's blowing chunks. Rick
See yall next week for episode 8: Where's the Damn Fishing Chair Throne
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kiwibongos · 18 days
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warning for ab/se & toxic relationships. and sdr2 spoilers duh
im thinking abt the remnants of despair. cause i hate how it just seemed to be like, "theyre suddenly brainwashed and then they turn evilll and they kill because they dont feel anything" like, i hate that. it feels so underdeveloped. it cant just be despair, it has to be deeper than that, i think it'd take personal angles and link with a lot of their own trauma, leaving them really vulnerable and deranged. so heres my own interpretation and headcanons for some of them
contains mikan, nagito, fuyuhiko, peko, akane, kazuichi, and brief analysis of the rest. keep in mind i havent seen the animes yet lol so this is a basic layer of it, but i just rly wanted to let this out cus i dont see it talked about. storing my brainrot here for later moments.
first of all i feel like the brainwashing would be a very slow process bc junko would definitely just manipulate everyone in her way to get what she wants. and by the time the world was plagued basically, all the remnants clearly had really unhealthy feelings related to junko specifically. they all love her, hate her, or praise her, but its all in very different ways that would be bc of their own personal backstories
we all know how mikan and nagito feel. mikan was constantly hurt by other people before junko herself, itd make sense for her to develop a very unhealthy attachment to her. mikan was extremely vulnerable and controllable, she would do anything for anyone and especially junko, just so no one is mad at her, hence why it got so twisted to the point where she wanted to keep a part of her inside forever. she wanted to be loved so badly, she would take whatever form of it she could. thats why it was so easy for junko to get her under her boot. now nagito has an odd love-hate relationship with junko imo (his mind is so messed up man) even if he praises hope in such a grossly obsessed way, the mf still TOOK her arm. i know he did it because he hated her so much and i guess to take power back, but i feel like because nagito had never really been loved, he wanted to try and feel what it could've been like out of some kind of confused desperation and fondness for her in a way, because his mind has no idea what those feelings truly are or what they mean, as hatred and love often get mixed up in his head and form this horrible amalgamation with whoever he meets, which is clear towards the survivors in the nwp anyway
fuyuhiko put junko's own eye into his own socket, and i feel like his relationship with her while in despair would be familial and extremely unhealthy. he is definitely one of the most fucked up to me. id say by my own headcanons though its heavily implied in his fte dialogues, is his parents are very ab/usive right from the start. fuyuhiko is messed up to all hell, he was constantly struck and under pressure but he had to be strong and perfect because he was the head of his clan, hence like his insane tolerance for pain. he had to make his clan, or more importantly his parents proud, or else he was a failure forever. so he clung onto that and did his best trying to be good enough for basically anyone. and even before despair he was in a really bad stubborn, mean, depressive state, leaving him far more vulnerable and more open to violent, impulsive actions as long as junko was smart enough to get him under her finger. fuyuhiko never knew what true love felt like (platonic or not), and when junko took advantage of all of that and he slowly fell into despair, shit hit the fan. he lost morality and he had come so attached to her to the point where junko was like a mother figure to him. he wanted her to notice him and be proud basically, it was moreso the idea of someone-- anyone-- being proud of him, but junko was his main focus of that by now, given his state. to him she was like the mother he never had, who seemed to be on the same terms with everything he had believed, someone who approved of him, so he wanted to make her proud, even if it was hurting him. fuyuhiko would keep digging himself a hole of desperation and self destruction, seeking more and more pain to test his endurance because it's what she wanted, and that became what he wanted, too, because pain is all he's used to. and because of that, makotos guess was right; he wanted to see her despair. it'd make sense he'd want to take a part of her, to see horrors she had witnessed so he could understand it, so she could be proud of him and part of him forever. he felt like if he did that, he would finally succeed, he'd achieve perfection, and he did. he'd done everything junko wanted him to do, while quenching his own thirst for violence itself, all via his own delusions. that was love to him and it felt real
as for peko she was definitely also treated the same in the kuzuryu family but more dehumanized obviously, so i think she'd feel a similar way; always needing to be good enough, but more specifically protecting the ones she cares about at all costs even if it results in bloodshed. i think she'd be a lot colder, forcing to suppress her feelings since she just has to follow fuyuhiko wherever he goes, and she was pretty much as insane as him as well so anything slid. i know peko doesnt want to be a tool, but she'd definitely succumb to the fact that she has to be one when they're under despair at the same time, and if she was going to be his tool, she has to be like a robot and just do what follows, because she didn't see herself as a person, her chance of being her own human was ripped away
as for akane, she grew up very poor, and didn't live a good life at all either (w/ definitely bad parents) but she always tried her very best taking care of her siblings in the past, despite everything. i think there was a lot of twisted familial love with junko whom she started to see as a sister despite being unrelated, just because of being a caretaker all her life, its just kind of instinct to protect anyone, but that just got mixed up as she fell into despair, and she would only protect junko, while chaotically killing anyone else in her way. she'd fight for her endlessly, she was one of the strongest, at least for a while, im thinkin she found her body and wanted to preserve it as much as possible by the end of everything, she still wanted to take care of her and do everything for her even if she had been too late. and with that, and barely any food in an apocalyptic world, the inevitable happens. akane would fall into a very hurtful spiral of self hate, that her starving was a sacrifice to junko so she could prioritize her first instead of herself, while also it being like a punishment to herself for her own failures and how she was failing to preserve junko
kazuichi always hated himself. he was bullied often, didn’t have a lot of friends going into high school, and he was very desperate for attention, especially from women. he’d be very notably attached to junko which would eventually evolve into romantic feelings, similar to mikan. he craved attention and validation so much, it left him very vulnerable, and kazuichi often grows attached to people who show him a sliver of kindness anyway, so junko would likely personally manipulate him and praise him, and they’d grow close, and he’d develop a very strong attachment towards her that derails into love and lust. and once he was influenced by her under despair, he would do anything for her. so, he’d get his hands on a lot of weapons, and go on mindless killing sprees, causing havoc 24/7 just to please her and keep her memory alive through despair. and deep in his mind, he probably truly thought that junko was his soulmate, that they were destined to be together, and he was fulfilling missions just for her, and in the end, they could be together
extra stuff i guess? as anyone would expect, sonia just became a corrupted leader and took advantage of her power under despair. her kingdom would try to keep her above it, but she’d fall into it somehow anyway, and probably had already been plagued by corrupt/unjust views by junko before, so she’d lead her people to worship junko the same way she does, and anyone who stood against it would be punished severely. mahiru falls into morbid curiosity because of junko and gets worse, given what she does with her camera, also both mikan and gundham would try to stitch junko up a little, and try to keep her from falling apart as long as possible. mikan is more likely to do that for her own twisted romantic purposes, but if gundham gets a hold of her before or after mikan, he would take her blood for himself, and most likely start a cult to worship her, all for like weird satanic purposes involving rituals and stuff. he’d also encourage his members or the other remnants to indulge in certain activities for the sake of praising her. gundham would probably even believe she was some demon from the underworld who granted him powers and chose him to carry on her legacy
also teruteru was just a little hungry. boys gotta eat
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galaxycunt · 2 months
Text
My Dinner With Buggy pt 2
I love playing with dialog so I figured why not keep going. As with part one it’s all dialogue so enjoy the ride everyone lol
Tagging @gingernut1314 @gayafsatan as yall requested a part 2 a million years ago
Sea spray hits your face as you left the restaurant, “so, what’s the move?”
Hands appear in front of you holding two bottles of wine, “one for each of us.”
“Really? In front of a lieutenant like that?”
“You gonna handcuff me, officer?”
You giggle, “miss Impel Down that much, huh?”
“God! Let’s not talk about that fucked up place. Take the wine, honey.”
“I let you order steak and this is how you repay me?”
He wags his tongue, “I’m covering dessert.”
“Gross.”
“You love it, shut up. So where’s this room you got?”
“Couple blocks down. You don’t wanna go to a bar?”
“I haven’t seen you in at least 6 years. I wanna make up for lost time.”
“Tch. Shooting for the stars tonight?”
Buggy frowns, “I thought this was a date.”
You falter, “hey. I thought we were teasing. Come here, Bug.”
Your lips taste sweet, “I missed you a lot. I’m not the only salty dog missing their lost love, but hey, you’re more important, so there.”
You kiss him again, “let’s go out for a little bit?”
“Sure, I’ll take you anywhere you wanna go. Oh shit! I forgot, I left something for you on the ship.”
“We got road wine, let’s go get it”
“This is nice, by the way.”
“It is. Too bad you ain’t a civ, easier. Even easier if you were a marine.”
“I’m gonna ask again. You’d like it.”
“I dunno, man. Lot of baggage with that. Especially on the Grand Line.”
“Not with me.”
“You already got captured once, baby.”
“I know, I know. But you hate this shit. Been in the game too long, why?”
“I dunno, maybe I felt we were doing something good. Too old for that shit, I guess”, the Big Top is as nice as you remember it, “there’s the old girl.”
He smiles, “my two girls, together at last.”
“I wonder if that note I left is still there.”
“Note? What-“
“-captain! Oh shit, look who it is!”
“-Cabaji! Glad someone’s keeping Bug outta trouble!”
He smiles at the two of you, “we should catch up. Later.”
“Thanks, man. See ya.”
“So what note?”
“Oh! It’s uh, not important. Just something I wrote last time I was here.”
“Where’d you hide it?”
“In the galley, deep, deep in the pantry.”
He kisses you, “let’s go find it then.”
“Buggy, no. Come on, you’re supposed to take me out.”
“Real quick. I promise.”
You tug him away, to no avail, “Buggy. It’s really stupid, you’ll enjoy it after a few drinks.”
“I got a few bottles in my room. We can read it there.”
“What about my gift?”
“Just a buncha jewelry, who cares? I’m finding that letter.”
Turns out he can find anything with ease if he wanted to, “aw. Your handwriting is so cute sometimes.”
“Oh, shut up.”
He kisses your temple, he’s getting very touchy, you realize, “lemme guess, treasure map?”
“Look, it’s something I wrote when we were like 18.”
“….really?”
“Uh huh.”
He jerks his chin toward his cabin, “let’s take this somewhere quiet.”
You hear your heart beat in your ears, cheeks on fire, “it’s really cringey. I was 18.”
“Do you really not want me to read it?”
“You’ll make fun of me.”
“I won’t. I really won’t.”
“Okay.”
“I already know you love me.”
You laugh, “shit. Guess you’re right.”
He clears his throat, “Buggy, our paths are unwinding, the red string of fate tugging us apart.”
“Oh Jesus, it’s worse than I thought.”
Heightening his voice he continues, “if only I knew the devil’s pact I made, and the one you sold your soul to. My love I can’t bear it. You don’t even know I love you.”
“See, that’s why I didn’t wanna read it.”
“So why even give it to me?”
“Because I didn’t think you loved me.”
He grows serious, “I did. Why did you think I did that stupid shit? To impress you, dummy.”
“You’re such a clown.”
“Exactly! You liked clowns.”
You smile, “yeah, I remember that asshole at the pier.”
“Join my crew, I’ll marry ya.”
“Only if I join?”
“We been apart too long, I’m not waiting until I hit some shitty village every six months to see you.”
“Ah, that makes sense now.”
“Sometimes I’d lower the Jolly Roger, just see if our boats can pass by, if I can see you on the deck.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“Yeah.”
You stare at his lips, you wouldn’t be the only Marine turning, “marry me tonight then.”
“Don’t think captains can officiate their own wedding.”
“Let’s find someone.”
He looks at the clock, “and if we can’t?”
“Ask me again tomorrow. Do it for real.”
Buggy picks you up instead, “can we just skip to the wedding night?”
“I’m not gonna marry you then.”
He smirks, “according to that letter, we’ve been married for 18 years already.”
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concreteburialplot · 7 months
Text
VIRALITY // 10
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10 - Maybe Both, Maybe Neither
pairing: nicholas ruffilo x fem!oc [vallie]
masterlist/intro: here | crossposted: ao3 | word count: 5.8k
summary: after waking up next to each other vallie & nicholas go their separate ways. vallie goes to visit an old friend who may be more than friendly. nicholas goes to sober up noah but doesn’t expect him to pull the curtain back on his resentment.
warnings: mentions about alcoholism/AA meetings/cheating, arguing, noah being annoying but what's new, tea is spilled !!, vallie is vulnerable for once in her life, lots of dialogue, alternating POVs sorry 🥲
A/N: Sorry it's been like 2 months since I’ve updated, it literally did not feel like it 🥲 school & life are kicking my ass lol + this chapter ended up being so complicated / difficult
Also! This chapter introduces a very mild crossover with Christian 'Kras' Anthony from the band Chase Atlantic - he's being used as a fun little temporary reoccurring side character. Don't worry, knowing who he is isn't necessary to understand his character lol i just think he's cute🥰
don't like it don't read it. don’t be mean for no reason & let others enjoy things thnx :)
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-NICHOLAS-
A jarring buzzing jolts me awake. I sit up a bit with scrunched eyes trying to follow the noise with a wandering patting hand. The noise leads to Vallie’s phone rattling on my bedside table next to her. I grab it and sleepily ignore the call out of habit.
In my still half-sleep state, I don’t want to be anywhere else besides where my body was curled up against her. I return to my spot with my arm around the brunette, tugging her closer. Her scent fills my nostrils when I nuzzle into her neck. The smell of her hair is peppermint-y and the scent on her skin reminds me of marshmallows and… matcha?
Whatever it is, it’s warm, cozy, and smells so yummy it makes me want to eat her again.
Before I have the pleasure of manifesting that thought into reality, her phone goes off vibrating again, this time making me significantly more aggravated.
I snatch the phone looking at her caller ID – the name plastered across the screen:
Christian
with some emojis I’m far too sleepy to decipher.
Christian?
I decide not to ignore her phone call from an evidently urgent caller.
“Hey, Hey.” I gently nudge her shoulder. “Your phone has been going off.”
She lets out a sleepy groan that is probably the cutest noise I’ve ever heard.
She takes one look at the ID and immediately ignores it and shoves it under the pillow.  
Odd.
She yawns and rubs her eye, “What time is it?”
“I’m not sure.” I try to look at the edges of my window covered with blackout curtains trying to gauge even the time of day. “You have your phone, check it?”
Her fingers tap against the mattress. “It’s not that important.”
“Who’s Christian?” I blurt out without thinking.
From the angle I’m at, I can see her eyes widen a bit at the question.
She clears her throat. “What?”
“The person who kept calling you. It was someone named Christian?”
“Oh um,” She bites down on my lip, seemingly contemplating her answer. “He’s a friend.”
I’m filled with a feeling I’m not sure I enjoy nor one I should be feeling.
“A friend?” I ask, unconvinced.
It’s none of my business. It doesn’t matter who he is.
“Yeah, a friend.” She scrunches her brows at the wall. “Why do you care who’s calling me?”
“I-I don’t.” I reply but I know I’m a shit liar and I probably don’t sound very convinced. “I was just wondering.”
“Right.” She yawns then gets up in a panic like she just realized where she is. “Oh my god we fell asleep.”
“Yeah…I figured you gathered that by now.” I said falling down flat beside her.
“Fuck Nick, how am I gonna get out of here?” She scrambles for her phone beneath the pillow to finally check the time. “Fuck, fuck, I have to leave.”
“Okay, okay, calm down. Let me just check out the house, I can take you to get your car.” I pull myself out of bed and let myself stretch out my arms above my head.
“Fuck.” She mutters, readjusting her entire torso in her tight top. “Remind me to never sleep in a corset ever again. I need to get out of this, can I borrow something?”
Her attention lands on me and at first, her forest greens are inquisitive and calm but when she actually looks at me, they widen. Her eyes slowly trail down my body and land where my shirt hangs above the exposed skin of my hips.
Watching her tongue slide between her lips makes my heart thump in my ear drums so loud I can barely hear what she’s saying.
 “Also, can you um,” She clears her throat and looks back up at me, “Help me get this off?”
“Sure.” I nod and drop my arms back down.
She shifts in the bed so the zipper in the back of the faux-corset faces me. My fingers delicately gather her dark chocolate locks and drape them over her shoulder to get them out of my way. Her tan skin curves so beautifully from her neck to her shoulder that I feel as though if I don’t kiss her there it would somehow be insulting.
The need to kiss her there feels as necessary as air, so lean down and press a hesitant kiss to the crook of her neck as I begin unzipping her top.
She doesn’t stop me, which I was sure she would stop me now in the daylight.
Another kiss up, I linger more there.
Then another in the same spot, then another, and another, and another – until I am fully peppering her skin with open mouth kisses and my hands roam her curves.
She lets out little noises the closer I get to her ear that remind me of the ones she gave me when my tongue was inside her.
It’s not until I’m nipping and sucking at her skin that she speaks.
“Nick…” She whines in a tone that says ‘you know better’.
I tug down the rest of her zipper.
My lips still lazily drag up her neck.
I hum against her and let my hands wander down her sides to her hips. “Let me make you feel good.”
She lets out a shuddered whine but not a red or green light.
My hands round her hips giving them a gentle back and forth rub, “I need to taste you again.” I press another kiss against the sensitive skin below her ear and I can feel goosebumps erupt all over her skin.
My fingers burn everywhere they meet her skin and beg to be everywhere  they shouldn’t be.
She closes her eyes and lets herself breathe for a second.
“Nicholas.” She repeats, more sternly this time. “I have to leave before anyone sees me.”
“I know.” I say simply and pull away, strategically resting both hands over my semi.
I know I shouldn’t press more. I know shouldn’t try to convince more. But god do I want to. All I’m thinking about is fucking her senseless.
She keeps a hand on the front of the corset to keep it flush on her skin. “Could I please borrow something?” She reminds me of her original request.
“Oh yeah sure, sorry.” I quickly scan the room for the closest item.
I spot a barely worn Deftones shirt and hand it to her.
“Thanks.”
 She just sort of stares at me then makes a ‘turn-around’ motion with her hand.
“Oh, sorry.” I shift away from her. “It’s not like it’s anything I haven’t seen before.”
“Shut up.”
I hear her let out a sigh of relief, probably from finally being freed from the constricting top.
“Okay you can turn around now.”
I turn back to her and find what I expected: her in my shirt.
What I didn’t expect was to somehow find her even more attractive in my shirt than even a lace corset.
As much as I’d like for her to stay, I fear that if I don’t get her out now, I’ll devour her whole.
“I’ll just… go scope out the area.” I thumb over my shoulder towards the door.
“Good idea.” She nods.
I very quietly sneak out of my room into the empty hallway, gently closing the bedroom door behind me.
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After tiptoeing around the house, I find everyone asleep as it seems still quite early, at least for them.  
The drive back to the bar is quiet and somewhat awkward. I’m not sure if it’s because of what we did or if I crossed some sort of invisible line and made her upset.
Or maybe both,
Maybe neither.
Maybe I’m over thinking it.
We haven’t talked about anything, no rules, no boundaries. I don’t know how I would bring that up to begin with. What the hell are we doing? And how do I feel about it. How do I want to feel about it? 
We say goodbye and it’s stiff and odd. I’m not sure if I should kiss her? Or treat her like my colleague?
Maybe both,
Maybe neither.
That one feels more like a maybe neither.
The way she acted this morning makes me think that whatever… this is, is over.
I know it should be done, but there is a part of me that doesn’t want to stop. At least not yet. Maybe if I got one more fix.
Regardless how I feel about it, it was a mistake. I knew that the first time, I knew it last night and I know it now.
Why did I let this happen. How did I let this happen?
I tap my fingers anxiously against the steering wheel once I’ve parked at home.
I know Folio wouldn’t really care but if Noah or Jolly found out about this?
Oh my god.
I don’t even want to think about what would happen.
All I know is two things.
One, I can’t keep fucking thinking about this – I can’t keep thinking about her.
Two, I unfortunately know what I need to do when I walk back through our front door.
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-VALLIE-
As soon as my car door shuts behind me, I let out a long sigh that I wasn’t aware I was holding.
I fold my arms around my steering wheel and rest my forehead against it.
“Fuck.”
The entire ride home there was this nausea festering in the pit of my stomach.
I like being with Nicholas.
I like being with Nicholas too much.
And this stupid fucking Deftones shirt is too comfortable and smells too much like him – and I like it more than I should. And I need to get home as soon as possible to get it off me.
This is absolutely the last thing I needed – catching feelings or whatever the fuck is filling my chest with butterflies from someone I’m representing.
This is the band that I shouldn’t have even taken on in the first place, and now I’m here on the verge of vomiting because I miss the way his bed feels. This was not the plan.
I shake my head from the the thoughts as I walk through my front door. It’s just the dickmatization talking. That’s it. I like his dick and that’s all.
His huge fucking…
No.
No.
And god his fucking tongue...
No.
No.
This absolutely cannot be happening.
I won’t let this happen.
I need to nip this in the bud before it goes any further.
I chuck my phone and keys on my dresser and use my palms to lean against the edge.
An abrupt buzzing of my iPhone against the hard wood shocks me from my dissociation.
Christian
Christian
Christian
…could be exactly what I need.
I slide the answer bar across the screen and bring the phone to my ear.
“Hey Kras.” I smile, using his nickname.
“Val!” He chimes cheerfully on the other line. “I’ve been trying to get ya all day!”
“I’m busy Kras, you know that.” I roll my eyes playfully. “What’s up, what do you want so badly?”
“Tour ended last week and I’m staying in LA for a bit for some band stuff before I head back home to Sydney.” He pauses. “I wanna see you. I need to talk to you about something.”
I press my lips together and take a deep breath, suddenly stressed about what exactly that meant.
“Okay. When and where do you wanna meet up?”
“Today? My place?”
“Okay, see you then.”
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After a much-needed shower I’m finally at the door of his temporary apartment. I smooth out my outfit, which wasn’t much really, just some sweats with a cropped tank. With as long as I’ve known Kras, it didn’t really matter what I looked like, but I still wanted to look cute. I use my hand to flatten my tied up hair to make sure there’s no ridges before I knock on his door. It doesn’t take long for him to answer it.
“Val.” He greets with his signature big goofy smile.
The tall, long-haired blonde envelopes me into giant hug and I embrace it. His scent fills my nose with memories; it’s soft, comforting, and most of all, fun.
Christian and I have always been close, he’s the closest thing I have to a best friend. Our friendship has always been…interesting to say the least. I think most people would consider our dynamic complicated, but to us it’s quite simple.
I give him a good, hard squeeze around his midsection. “Augh, Kras I’ve missed you.”
He reciprocates the squeeze and places a kiss atop my head. “I missed you too.”
I pull away with a smile and smack his arm, “You don’t text me enough! I didn’t even know your tour ended.”
“Me? The phone works both ways Miss ‘You know I’m busy’” He mocks me jokingly.
“God, I forget how strong your Aussie accent is in person.” I chuckle, diverting the conversation.
I shiver at the ice-cold chill I get from his AC and rub my arms for warmth.
“Fuck it’s cold as shit in here.” It’s so frigid even my teeth chatter.
“Yeah, sorry I like it freezing. You want a jacket or something?” He offers then crosses the room when I nod.
He picks through some clothes in an open suitcase and hands me a multicolored flannel. I pull the flannel over my arms letting the material engulf my body.
After a brief catching up about tour and life, I lean against the wall and cross my arms.
“So, what is it you wanted to talk about.” I cut straight to it.
He bites down on his lip, and I can’t tell if he’s excited or nervous.
Maybe both, maybe neither.
“We need a manager.” He blurts out.
“Oh? I thought you were working with-”
“We want you Val.”
I laugh, because surely, he can’t be serious. I don’t belong to an agency and work my two clients freelance, all on my own. There’s no way I could take on another band, especially one as successful as Chase on top of the other two.
“What? No, no, I absolutely couldn’t manage you guys…”
He steps towards me and trails his fingers down my arms and hooks onto my hands. “Sure you can. You used to, remember?”
I shake my head, “Oh, you know that doesn’t count Christian. We were nobodies – you were nobodies. Of course I could manage your measly little 10,000 Instagram followers.”
He squeezes my hands and tugs on my arms. “C’mon Val. It’ll be like the good old days. It’ll be fun!”
“I don’t know about you, but living in a tiny LA apartment with three men struggling to afford food wasn’t really that good or fun.”
He rolls his eyes and tugs on my arms again. “For old times’ sake?”
I shake my head, “No, no, I already have enough on my plate. I just took on another band not that long ago.”
“Please Val, for us?” His brows curve up, and he gives me the biggest hazel puppy dog eyes that he knows I can’t say no to. “For me?”
I groan and rest my head back against the wall. “I’ll think about it, okay?”
His hands leave mine and find their way to my hips, slipping under the flannel so his hands are holding onto bare skin between my tank and my sweats. His forehead presses against mine.
“Is there anything I can do to help change that answer?” He asks between the small space separating us while his finger traces my jaw line tilting my chin up a bit.
I tug at my lip – this is partially why I came here right? To nip my Nick problem in the bud, to break the dickmatization spell.
“I don’t know, maybe.” I tease up at him with round eyes.
“Hm.” He hums and leans in, pressing a kiss to my lips and I freeze.
Even though we’ve done this a million times before, it just feels wrong now. Nicholas and I aren’t even… anything, we’re just fucking, right? But it still feels odd.
I know this feeling.
And I know what it means.
Fuck.
I pull away and give a little head shake.
“Plum?” He asks using our code word for when we’re interested in or dating someone else.
I groan loudly, shuffle past him to his bed in the studio apartment and dramatically fall flat, face down onto it. Then let out an even louder, longer groan.
He walks over and gently sits criss-cross on the bed next to me.
“Must be a pretty good Plum to have you like this.”
Our friendship was simple. We’re the rare example that a friends-with-benefits can be truly, purely platonic and casual. Kras is a generally affectionate guy, even with his bandmates. And he is one of the only people I feel comfortable being affectionate with, so I let myself be affectionate with him.
We are platonically affectionate best friends who fuck when we’re single. It sounds impossible but it’s who we are and who we have been for almost 10 years. 
It’s nice, cozy, and convenient. Easy.
He’s safe, familiar, and reliable.
Which is more than I can say for any friendship or relationship I’ve ever had.
I turn my head towards him still flat against the bed.
“It’s bad Kras.”
“How bad?”
I chew on my bottom lip. “I work with him.”
His eyes widen. “Oh no.”
“Oh yes.”
“…In the band you were talking about?”
I turn back to hide my face in his duvet. “Oh yeah.”
“Val noooo.”
I chuckle at how his ‘no’s sound like ‘naaauur’s.
“I knooow.” I whine into the sheets.
“Singer?”
I shake my head against the duvet.
“Guitarist?”
“Bassist.” I reply muffled in bedding.
“Oof.”
A laugh escapes me at his reaction. I pop my head up at him, “Stop, I know.”
I pull myself up and cross the bed to sit next to him and lay my head on his shoulder.
“Maybe I just really like his dick.” I state confidently staring out the large window across the room. I blankly watch the daytime city lights flicker across the highrise-littered skyline.
“You think so?” He asks looking down at me a little. “I’ve never seen you get like this over just good dick. You’re pretty cut and dry about like…emotions. You’re good at separating sex from feelings.” He laughs and nudges me. “That’s why we work so well.”
I groan and hide my face in his shoulder because I know he’s right. He’s always right when it comes to shit like this.
“He sang to me Kras.”
“Oh god…was he any good?”
I feel my cheeks heat up and I nod against his arm, “It was so pretty.”
He laughs and tickles my side, “Look at you! You’re smitten! I never thought I’d see the day.”
I grab the nearest pillow and smack him with it, “Shut up!” then fall back flat and cover my face with it.
There’s a silence between us for a bit, a million things running through my mind, but Kras speaks for me.
“You know you can’t love him, right?” He says gently.
My brows furrow immediately, I slam the pillow down and shoot straight up.
“WHOA, whoa whoa.” I cut through the air with my hand. “Nobody ever said anything about…the L word. I do not…love him.” I can barely get the word out as if it’s something forbidden. “I barely fucking know him. I just like his dick.”
“Okay, okay.” He raises his hands in defense. “You can’t like him. You know that right?”
“I don’t even know if I like him. We’re just fucking. That’s all.”
He glares at me with a face that screams, ‘yeah right’. “Well, fine, you know you can’t keep fucking him.”
I let out a long sigh.
“Yeah, I know. I thought coming here to fuck you would help.”
He laughs then tapers off in thought.
“Maybe we don’t actually have to fuck in order to help.” He suggests.
I raise a brow at him, “What do you mean?”
“Well, I mean… guys normally don’t just sing to girls they’re casually hooking up with.”
“Okay…?” I motion for him to keep going.
“So, if it comes up or anything, you could just lie.” He shrugs.
“Lie about what?”                             
“About like, fucking someone else. If he likes you enough to sing to you, he probably won’t be happy if you tell him you’re fucking someone else. So, he’ll stop trying to fuck you.”
I chew on my thumbnail in thought, he’s right. Like always.
“Maybe. I don’t really know if he’d even care. We never really talking about anything… I thought we just had a silent agreement about just fucking, he never said anything about-”
“He sang to you Val.”
I anxiously twirl the ends of my ponytail and chew on my bottom lip. “I don’t want to hurt him.”
He gives me the most ‘are you for real’ glare.
“Okay, okay.” I deflate. “IF it comes up, I’ll mention something.”
“Just don’t say who I am. I don’t know him, he could beat my ass." He laughs. "Plus, it would be pretty awkward for him to find out that you’re fucking a hot guitarist from your other band.” He smirks cheekily.
“Shut up.” I elbow his side playfully, “I never said yes.”
“But you will.”
I chew on my lip thinking it over.
On one hand, I’m already insanely busy and overworked with the two artists I’m already managing.
On the other hand, as odd as they are, they are old and close friends of mine. It wouldn’t be like managing strangers or learning a whole new fanbase, I helped build the foundation of the one they have now back in 2014.
And it would be a good distraction.
If this plan works out with Nick, maybe I could move on from Plum status and I can actually focus on my job.
“Fine. I’ll do it. BUT,” I hold a finger pointed towards him menacingly, “ONLY temporarily.”
“Ah yes! I knew you would!” He exclaims, wrapping his arms around me and tackling me to the bed, pressing various ‘thank you’ kisses to my cheek.
“Okay, okay enough.” I chuckle trying to escape his grasp.
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-NICHOLAS-
I let a long sigh at the bottom of the stairs, shifting my weight between both feet. I tap my fingers on the wooden railing anxiously. I probably shouldn’t be this rattled over something I’ve done a million times before. But it doesn’t get any easier.
I push myself up the stairs in one driving force knowing that it has to be me. It’s always me.
Never Folio. Never Jolly.
It’s always been my job.
There’s no response when I knock on Noah’s bedroom door.
I knock again, no answer.
I knock again, no answer.
So, I let myself in.
As expected, Noah’s passed out with a fresh bottle of whiskey half drank on his nightstand. His room still in as much filth as it’s been for a while. For as long as I’ve known him, I’ve only ever seen his room even remotely messy a handful of times, and this is the worst I’ve ever seen it. In the past I’ve known the reasons behind the mess or the drinking – usually over a breakup or some depression spell – but this time he kept me in the dark. I have no fucking clue what's going on with him.
If I wasn’t so aggravated with him already, the mess of the room would worry me even more than I already am.
I cross the threshold of garbage between the door and his bed and pat his cheek awake.
“Noah.”
Sleepy snores tumble from his mouth and while one might find them endearing, right now, they’re pissing me the fuck off.
“Noah.” I say more sternly, nudging him more. No luck.
I try various other ways, and nothing works. He’s out cold.
So, I try a tried-and-true classic.
I climb on top of him and straddle his waist over the duvet, one knee at each side of his hips. His boney exposed shoulders offer a great anchor so I grab them, shaking him awake.
He comes-to slowly, droopy heavy lids struggling to open. His fist goes to rub his tired eye but winces when he’s reminded of the swollen black and blue that surrounds it.  
“The fuck are you doing?” He groans, stealing a pillow from beside him to cover his face. “Get off of me.”
I snatch the pillow from his grasp and toss it across the room. “No. You’re going to get up. You’re going to shower. And I’m taking you to a meeting.”
He shields his eyes with his arm. “I’m-I’m fine Nick, don’t need a meeting.” His words slurring together.
“You’re a fucking idiot.” I correct.
“I don’t need a meeting.” He hiccups and I can smell the alcohol radiating off him, seeping through his skin. “I’m not going. I'm just gonna sleep.”
I grab his wrists, pin them to the bed and get low to his face. “Oh you’re going. We’re gonna sober you up, starting with a shower.” I pull off him and stand beside the bed.
“Let’s go. C’mon.”
“No.”
“We can do this the easy way or the hard way. Either way has the same result. Let’s go.”
“No.”
I sigh, even though I knew it would end up like this. “Fine. Hard way it is.”
I yank the sheets off him and use two arms to scoop up his body by his midsection and throw him over my shoulder. He’s thin enough to where even I can lift and carry him easily – or maybe I’ve just gotten used to the weight of him in my arms.
“Nick let me fucking go.” He whines but doesn’t try to wiggle out of my grasp, probably too hungover to move that much.
With every bit of my strength, I carry his thin body to his guest bathroom.
I all but toss him into the shower, start the water, and fling the curtain closed.
“Hey! What the fuck!” He yells and shuts off the water immediately.
He slings the curtain open and snatches a towel off the nearest rack, wrapping it around his shirtless torso.
“What the fuck is your problem, Nicholas!” His hands frantically wipe the water from his face. 
I let out a frustrated groan and turn to leave. "Stop being a baby." 
He steps out of the tub and calls after me, “Hey, I’m not fucking done talking to you!”
The shower shock did exactly what I needed it to do, sober him up, but now I regret even waking him up.
“My problem is that you’re a fucking drunk Noah.” I snap turning back to him.
“I’m not a fucking drunk, I have it under control. You’re just fucking paranoid!” He steps into the hallway dripping water all over the carpet.
“I’m not fucking paranoid, Noah. I’m not letting you drink yourself to oblivion.”
His brows lift in offense, “Let me? What the fuck are you, my fucking keeper?”
“Sometimes it sure fucking feels like I am!” The words escape me before I can stop them.
He chuckles in disbelief, “Well, nobody fucking asked you to be.”
“It doesn’t matter if anyone asked me to, I have to because who the fuck else is gonna pick your sorry, bruised ass off a bar floor in the middle of the fucking day?” My hand helps exaggerate each word.
“Jolly or Folio would’ve.” He sasses, crossing his arms.
“Oh yeah? And how long you think they’d put up with that?” I step closer to him. “Not for as long as I have, that’s for fucking sure.”
His eyes scrunch together like he’s hurt or offended.
Maybe both,
Maybe neither.
“I won’t let you push out everyone in our lives Noah.”
His eyes land on me and he cocks his head to the right a bit like a dog processing a foreign noise.
“‘Push out everyone in our lives’ is that what this is actually about? Alice?”
My gaze locks on him and my hands curl into tight fists at my sides. There are many words I want to say but none seem able to leave my tongue.
“Oh my god. You can’t be serious.” He steps back and points defensively at me. "I didn't push her out, you did!" 
My blood boils and burns as it courses through my veins. My eyes narrow at him.
“I know you fucked her Noah.” I shove my finger so hard into his chest that it nearly knocks him back.
“I didn’t even like her Nick! Why the fuck would I fuck her?” He immediately denies.
“Because you always have to have everything you want, including the things that aren’t yours.”
“‘Things’” He scoffs. “Funny how you’re so upset about someone you only see as a thing.”
My teeth grind so hard it makes my jaw clench, “You know she was never a thing to me until you fucked her.”
“Oh, give it a break Nicholas! Stop blaming me for her leaving.” His hands exaggerate his words then points straight at me. “You are the reason your relationship failed. You are the reason she left.”
My eyes narrow as I step closer to his soaked body. “I would really watch what you fucking say if I were you.”
“Or what?” He asks but I have no answer. “When are you going to stop punishing me for something I never fucking did?”
I watch his eyes: dark brown, heavy, bloodshot, and one lined with a dark bruise from the bar fight. His words sound genuine, but I know his eyes, I know them like the back of my hand.
I know when he’s lying, and he’s lying to me right now. I can’t prove it, I haven’t been able to, but I know he’s been lying to me for the past year.
“For the love of god Noah, can you just stop fucking lying?” I snap. "You don't even have enough respect for me to tell me the truth?"
“Wow.” He presses his lips together for a moment. “You must think so low of me to really believe that I would do something like that.”
“I don’t have to think low of you to believe the truth.” I hiss, stepping towards him. “But you’re going to keep denying it so it’s irrelevant what I believe did or didn’t happen. What I do know, is that you have a fucking problem, and you need help.”
He steps towards me with low brows and narrow beady eyes, “I didn’t fuck Alice and I don’t need a fucking alcohol anonymous meeting just because I still like to get drunk sometimes. I am a fucking adult, and I don’t need you to ‘save me’.” He scoffs and runs his tongue across his teeth. “You know? Maybe that’s what actually drove Alice away, you and your fucking high-and-mighty, savior complex bullshit.”
Every inch of skin on my body feels like its burning and my heart races so loud I can barely even think clearly. I tighten my fists so tight that my nails dig into my palms painfully. I know that if I do anything, it will make me look like the villain.
“I can’t fucking hit you because if I do, I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop.” I growl lowly. “Get sober or don’t, I don’t fucking care anymore – but we have a chance, a real chance at making it now and if you ruin this for us Noah, I will never fucking forgive you. Do you understand me? I will fucking destroy you if you fuck this up for us.”
His brows curve up and he looks at me like I’m insane for insinuating that he would. “I won’t.” He replies through gritted teeth.
I glance over the railing when I hear the house beginning to stir with Jolly and Folio starting to wake up, which is exactly what I was trying to avoid. I don’t need them getting involved.
“Just,” I lower my voice between us. “Make it to rehearsals, meetings, shows – the rest I don’t give a fuck. Just make it to work. Sober.”
“Fine.” He says quickly, "If that will keep you out of my fucking business and leave me the fuck alone."
"Fine."
"Fine." He repeats, because of course he has to have the last word, before storming off to his room and slamming the door behind him.
I mirror him, making it to my room and slamming the door.
Once alone, the feeling that courses through my body is nauseating, painful and overwhelming. It is a visceral ache, I feel it twisting in my chest first, in my ribs, then flows and pools in the pit of my stomach.
I thought I moved on from the Alice situation. I tried to force myself to believe him, I tried to forget and push it so far down that it wouldn’t hurt. Tried to rationalize, maybe he didn’t sleep with her. Maybe he didn’t betray me. Maybe it really is just me projecting the weaknesses of our relationship onto him. But no matter how hard I push it down, it always bubbles back up.
And in my gut, I know he did it. Everything adds up, the timelines, the behavior, all of it.
I was just never prepared for a girlfriend to cheat on me with my best friend. I was never prepared to have him sleep with my girlfriend. Not after everything we’ve been through.
I was never prepared to have my heart broken by the two people I trusted and loved more than anything in my life.
In retrospect, I guess, I should’ve expected it. For as long as I can remember Noah always had girls fawning all over him. He always had that lead singer charm even though he never planned on being a frontman. Girls were never an issue for him, he seemed to get anyone he ever wanted.
Is it really that far-fetched that the one I had wanted him too?
Is that all that this is going to be from now on? Any girl the rest of us want, would just want Noah first?
I never pictured that this would be our future.
I never pictured my best friend of over a decade fucking my girlfriend then lying about it to my face.
I never pictured having to drag said lying, alcoholic best friend out of bed trying to get him to an AA meeting just so he could be sober enough for rehearsals.
I never imagined that out of the four of us, it would be me having to hold it all together. I never signed up for that. I signed up to play an instrument, to sign CDs, sleep in busses and sit in interviews. I never signed up to play manager, I never signed up to secretly scrape Noah off bar floors, be his personal caretaker and tentative AA sponsor. Doing all of that just to have it thrown in my face, to stand next to him – every day in rehearsals, in photoshoots, on stage, across the fucking dining table – knowing what he did and pretending that I’m okay with it.
I never thought I’d feel stuck in this band, this thing Noah and I have worked on and dreamed about since we were 15. I’ve poured so much of my life into this fucking band.
I can’t just up and leave. I’d have nothing left. I’d be nothing without them and I can’t be the bomb to blow us up. Especially not now when everything is just starting to take off. All this work would’ve been for nothing.
It’s not just my livelihood and dream, but theirs as well. I can’t do that to them.
And as much as I want to, as much as I’ve tried, I can’t leave Noah. We both know I’m right whether he wants to admit it or not. Nobody else would do what I do, nobody knows what I do, and nobody knows how to take care of him the way I do. He’s stubborn and stupid and won’t let anyone else in the way he’s let me in.
I don’t know why I’m the only one who has gotten the curse of his trust, but I have it and I can’t hand it off or set it down – no matter how heavy or suffocating it is.
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Next Chapter -> 11 - Peak Fashion
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tag list; @ladyveronikawrites @kingdomof-omens @persuasivus @strawberryruffilo @thebadchic @the-hell-i-overcame @sinkingteethinwhitenoise @cncohshit @dominuslunae [comment if you'd like to be tagged?]
A/N: The love for this story has honestly been so overwhelming (in a good way obv) and I couldn't be more grateful. I really thought this would flop lol so, thank you so much for every like, reblog, ask, or comment. It means the world to me truly. Thank you.
i love hearing your thoughts so feel free to share! (i'm really bad at responding to comments/asks but i still love them 🥺)
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blackbirdie1234 · 4 months
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The Strange Encounter Pt. 2
Part two of The Strange Encounter, I hope you enjoy. Sorry that this isn't the best writing lol. I am struggling to figure out dialogue but I will continue to work on it :) Thank you <3
Summary: You recently moved back to Forks after not being in the town since you were eight. When your old friend Jacob Black asks you to come to a party down at La Push you accept. What's the worst that could happen?
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"Y/N, I have to tell you something," Emrby said looking at you nervously. You look up at him seeing the determined but shaky look in his eyes, you sit down on the rock motioning him to join you. He sits down and stares at the ocean for a minute and you follow suit, after a long gaze he begins to speak "I don't think you were around long enough to hear the stories of our tribe" he says glancing at you and you give him a nod to signify that he's correct. He continues " We grew up with stories of our tribe, the warriors, the heroes, the loves, and for most of our life we believed them to be just that....stories" he sighs deeply before speaking again " But there is one story that we heard the most growing up, the story of the pale skins and the Quileute wolves" he keeps looking at your face nervously while talking, analyzing, seeing if he's said too much "The story goes that the Quileutes were descendent from wolves, yes real wolves, and that there was another "tribe" that was like an enemy clan" you look up at him understanding that he was telling you this for a reason but feeling very confused as to why "why are you telling me all this Embry?" you stare at him showing him that you are interested "Because it's all true Y/N, I am a werewolf and so is Jacob," he says finally. Your face goes from concern to shock in a matter of seconds "W..what?" he takes your hand and puts it to his chest "Do you feel how hot I am? I don't have a fever, I will always have this temperature. It never goes down" he lets go of your hand but it lingers for another second "You're being serious?" you say a little exasperated "I still down understand why you're telling me" you emphasize. He looks at you and then at the stars "There is another part of the story, werewolves have a mate called an imprint, that person is what ties them to the earth, they give the wolf meaning, they can be a lover, a friend, or just a protector. No matter the relationship the connection will always stay.." he looks back down at you with pure affection and attention "You are my imprint Y/N" You sit there completely frozen, and your mind starts racing, Embry and Jacob are werewolves, does that mean they all are? is that why he ran away? did he not want it to be me? what am I even supposed to say or do? holy shit this is confusing, he takes your hand again "The decision is completely up to you and what you decide, I understand this is a lot and we barely know each other but if you give me a chance I'd love to get to know you" Embry says gently. You stand up causing Embry to drop your hand he looks at you concerned like you are about to run away "I think I need time, this is all just too much" you say with a worried expression scared of how he will take it "I understand take as much time as you need" he says with a small smile but you can tell he's hurt. He stays seated and you start to walk away before you turn your head back to look at him one more time.
It's been two weeks since that night. You've spent these two weeks going through everything in your head over and over again. You have accepted that you are an imprint and that this is all real. Jacob has called you nonstop this past week, trying to get you to talk to him. You don't understand why he wants you to talk to him considering he's not the one who imprinted on you. His texts seem urgent but you've ignored every single one, needing to clear your mind and get away from everything for a while. You haven't even gone to work with your mom. Your parents are starting to get concerned, you haven't been eating much and rarely come out of your room. You're lucky school hasn't started for you yet. Embry hasn't called or texted once, you didn't give him your number but you figured Jacob would have. You have this ache in your chest and you don't know what it is, it's like a part of you is missing. You've never felt this way, all you want to do is lay in bed. You've wanted to text Jacob to ask for Embry's number too many times to count. You even thought about going to find Embry, you feel like you're going crazy missing him and you only had one conversation with him. Maybe this is a part of the connection you think to yourself.
As you sit on your bed reading you get a text message.
Jacob: Y/N it's about embry. Please answer the phone.
Y/N: What about Embry?
Jacob: I think it's best you see it in person. We're at Emily's.
When you get to Emily's you see Jacob waiting outside. You walk up to the porch and Jacob ushers you inside without a word. "What's going on Jake? is Embry okay?" you ask with a worried tone. Jacob still doesn't say anything and continues to walk through the house, you pass the pack, they're all staring at you with slightly concerned looks on their faces. You get to Embry's room and Jacob opens the door, when you see Embry your stomach drops at his appearance, he looks pale; unusual for his dark features, and he has dark circles around his eyes as if he hadn't slept for days. His head shoots up when he realizes you are at the door he says your name but it comes out raspy and weak "What happened Embry, are you sick?" you walk closer to him and take his hand resting next to him on the bed. "I forgot to mention a key part of the imprint bond," he says voice still sounding weak "We can't be apart from our imprints for too long, or else we get very sick and weak" You look at him and grip his hand tighter "Why didn't you tell me, you should've asked Jacob for my number," you say in a slightly scolding tone you hear a laugh from behind you "Oh please, you wouldn't answer your phone for two weeks," Jacob said in an annoyed tone. He wasn't wrong but you still turned around and rolled your eyes at him "If you would've started with, Hey Y/N come quick Embry is sick and it's your fault, I would have been here sooner" you said snarkly. You looked at Embry seeing he was already starting to get back to his normal self. "Yeah, yeah whatever," Jacob said sarcastically as he left the room. "I'm so sorry I didn't know this would happen, I promise you'll never have to go through this again," you say genuinely. Embry just looked at you smiling, it didn't matter to him how sick and weak he was feeling, all that mattered to him was that you were here now. "I've thought about this a lot, I want to get to know you Embry, I'm really glad to be your imprint," you said smiling. Embry looked between your eyes with a huge grin on his face "Y/N" he said taking your face between his hands and bringing his face closer to yours "Can I kiss you?" you nodded your head, and his lips touched yours, at first softly and then both of you sunk into it. The kiss felt like fireworks, like the two of you were starving and the other was a michellen meal. You kissed until you couldn't breathe and when you finally separated you both just looked at each other and you knew everything had fallen perfectly into place.
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ardenrabbit · 3 months
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your work is all so amazing!! do you have any advice for writers who maybe want to start writing longer fanfictions?
Ahh!! Fhhfkf thank you!!! ;^; I don't know how useful or coherent my advice might be, but here's what's helped me in the past:
1. Know what kind of writer you are. If you work better by starting with a structured outline, do that, but make sure to actually start WRITING the scenes after that lol. If you get more momentum by diving in and just seeing where the story goes, do that, but make sure you have a DIRECTION to go in. A healthy balance of planning and discover-as-you-go is the most fun in my experience. (I usually start by improvising and having fun with a concept and then gradually cornering myself into planning lol. By then, planning isn't a chore; it's just satisfying to see everything fall together.)
2. Don't force an idea to be a long fic if it doesn't need to be. If you feel like your concept would be better served by a short fic, do it justice by not stretching it into a shape it doesn't need.
3. If your concept is bigger and does need a long fic format, make sure you know what threads you're weaving together. Write an actual list of themes, subplots, and character arcs and keep track of them, and figure out how you want to pace them in relation to one another.
4. Have resources prepped! Name banks for minor characters; notes/links to articles on the time period/environment/culture you're writing about; pictures that inspire you; songs that hype you up for your story or the characters... Mostly, if you don't like doing research, START LIKING IT. Find joy in researching the symptoms of hypovolemic shock and the native flora of Northern China. Look up multiple sources for each little topic. (I just keep a messy list of links and notes in the bottom of my docs lol)
5. If you get stuck or bored, revisit the source material. Watching/reading the original story can remind you why you got so excited to write fic about it and refresh your ideas.
6. If you're bored while writing a scene, it's probably boring to read. Don't turn writing into a chore. Think about what needs to happen in a scene and why it matters, find what you care about in it, and follow that. If it starts feeling like you don't need a scene and that you were just using it to fill in time, cut it.
7. My favorite thing: don't be afraid to write out of order. Write little blurbs or pieces of dialogue for chapters way ahead, if you have something in mind! Give yourself a goal to catch up to. It'll help you get the big picture of your whole fic and then fill in the scenes you need to get there.
8. Don't let people tell you what to write!! This goes both ways: if people say "it should've gone like [thing you don't wanna do]," tell them to shush and write their own shit. If they say "it would be so cool if [thing you were already planning] happened," do it anyway! You don't have to change just for the element of surprise. Don't twist the story out of place just because someone guessed your awesome idea. Everyone will be happier for it.
9. Don't settle for your first draft if it doesn't feel right. If you're working on a scene and it doesn't fulfill what you need, restart it from as many angles as necessary until you're happy. Seriously, building off a scene you don't like will make you feel dissatisfied and poison everything to follow.
10. Talk about your fic with people who hype you up about it. If you're not used to writing long stories, do what you need to keep you motivated and EXCITED about it. If asking someone to beta read helps you, do it! (I almost never ask for beta readers bc I'm a control freak, but honestly they can be so helpful.)
11. The forbidden tip: if you lose interest halfway through, it's okay to drop it. Do what makes you happy. You don't owe anyone anything and you're doing this for free. Try to finish it though lol, it's so satisfying to see a work complete. Do it for the dopamine at the end.
Disclaimer: I write long fics 1) because I like to soak in them and savor them and 2) because I don't know how to shut up and write short ones lol. I deeply admire people with the skill to just say what they need to say and wrap up a story neatly.
Also, I don't follow my own advice. Plenty of my scenes have fluff that I could have cut but didn't because Mark Twain is dead and can't tell me what to do lmao
I hope this had something helpful in it 😅 Good luck! 💖💖💖
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shadowpeachyuri · 7 months
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untitled fic draft
(Summary: After the battle against Azure Lion, MK and Mei have a bit of a chat about power, destruction, and what it means to leave the world better than they found it.)
MK is sitting at the edge of the cliff overlooking Flower Fruit Mountain- well, what's left of it, anyways. Mei sits down beside him.
"What'chya thinkin' about, monkey man?"
MK flinches at the nickname, and then just sighs. Shit. That wasn't what Mei was going for. She tries again.
"Wow, you really did a number on this place, huh? S'fine, though, since I heard you totally kicked Azure's-"
"Is this better than we found it?" MK cuts her off. Mei just responds with a little noise of confusion. She's not really sure what he's talking about, but at least he's talking, instead of just sighing and staring. He continues.
"Well, as long as we leave the world better than we found it, it's all good, right? That's what Monkey King said."
Mei nods. She thinks she's starting to get it.
He continues on, gesturing out towards the shattered remains of Flower Fruit Mountain. "Is this better than we found it? Is anything? I just-"
MK cuts himself off with a noise of frustration, slumps down a little, and starts looking at his hands. Mei leans in, hugging him from the side, but it's like he doesn't even notice she's there.
{Note: at this point in the draft I switched to script form since it's easier for me to write dialogue in that format. im not switching it back for the same reason lol}
MK: When I- When Monkey Me was fighting Azure, it was-
MEI: [Interrupting] Awesome?
MK: Scary. It was scary. I was fighting Azure, destroying the whole island, swingin' my big tail around- and it was easy! All this? All this chaos, all this destruction? [MK wildly gestures towards the wreckage as he says this.] I was barely even trying.
[Mei nods. She knows this fear. Out of everyone else in the group, she understands best how it feels to hold destruction in her hands.]
MK: It just- It doesn't feel like I've made things better, you know? Like, Azure's defeated, hooray! Except- he was defeated already! Now we're right back where we were before this whole mess started, except now the Jade Emperor's gone, and I destroyed Flower Fruit Mountain, and-
[Mei interrupts.]
MEI: You made things better for me.
MK: [surprised] What?
MEI: Well, think about it! If we'd never met, I wouldn't have gotten my awesome sword! [She takes out said sword and waves it around a bit for effect, and then continues.] Plus, if you hadn't been there to calm me down when I first got the Samadhi Fire, I probably would've burned up the whole universe!
[She pauses for a second to let her words sink in, and then continues on.]
MEI: [Pretending to be trying to remember.] What was it you said to me then? Something like, "I know what it's like to have a power you don't know how to control?"
MK: [unintelligible]
MEI: Well, when I was doing fire training with Red Boy, y'know what I kept thinking? [She pauses for a second, for dramatic effect.] "If he can do it, so can I." Whadd'ya think about that, MK? If you could control Monkey King's powers, use them to save people, then I could do the same with the Samadhi Fire.
[MK is still not saying anything. Honestly, he seems to be so wrapped up in his moping that Mei's not sure whether he's listening to a word she's saying. Still, she bravely presses on.]
MEI: [playfully] C'mon, monkey man, you got this! [More seriously now.] If I can do it, so can you. Don't worry, MK- we can figure out this whole scary-fighty-monkey-guy-form thing together!
[MK takes a deep breath, like he's about to finally say something. Mei stands up, and holds out her hand to MK, as if to help him up. He's looking at her now, and at her outstretched hand. If there was music playing right now, it'd be triumphant, and dramatic, and peaceful, and hopeful. He reaches out to take her hand- and stops, as someone calls his name.]
PIGSY: [from offscreen] MK! We need your help with somethin' over here!
[And just like that, MK's smile returns, the mask is back up, and the moment is gone. He springs up from his seat, disregarding Mei's still-there hand.]
MK: [a little too cheerily] Coming! [He turns back to Mei, half-apologetic.] Sorry, Mei, gotta go!
[He exits the scene, leaving Mei alone. After he's gone, she turns back towards the cliff's edge, sits herself back down, and begins contemplating the scenery, much in the same way MK was doing not so long ago.]
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wine4thewin · 3 months
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you’re so incredibly talented and i am in love with every inch of your work. with such phenomenal writing i’m extremely curious to know what your writing process is like and how you even come up with some of your plots/au’s in the first place. and have you made any hard or challenging writing/story choices as of late?? it’s such a treat to read your work and you’re so so so amazing.
☺️☺️☺️ I’m so utterly flattered, thank you x1000🥰 I’m glad my writing has been a source of entertainment!
My writing process has changed so much over the years and it’s always developing. I used to fly by the seat of my pants, but I realized that wasn’t what worked for me 😅 I couldn’t finish anything without a real plan!
~
Let’s start with ideas. That’s where things begin, right? I’ll be struck by a plot bunny or a character (usually spawned by a setting, like Zombie Apocalypse, Creepy Fairytale Vibes, Medieval Magic, Space Opera Horror, or Modern Very Dark Problematic Romance) and then I’ll try writing out a “book summary” to see if that idea might sound compelling. I think in terms of: what is the core drama, who is the main character, and who is their villain? (lol but make it enemies to lovers)
I want to know:
Where does this idea start? Why does a reader care?
Where is it taking us? What are turning points in the plot along the way?
How does it end?
✍️
I always think in terms of beginning middle end. 3 simple parts of an idea that make the idea a possible story. Sometimes, it takes me time to see the ending, so I start writing scenes to look deeper into the plot, waiting for an ‘aha’ moment.
I have written & completed massive fics just thinking in terms of 3 chapters. The starting drama, the middle crisis, and the final drama. Magically it grows from there as scenes appear 🤣 I think the 3 chapters is wishful thinking on my part.
~
It took me a few years to figure out I’ve always been a scene writer. This means I mentally work through a story in moments of time. I write out scenes that are important to me, even if they are completely out of order. It helps me shape the story as more scenes appear and I begin to place them in the beginning middle or end.
I sometimes outline in Excel, chapter by chapter. I notate time passing, what happens in each chapter, and what The Goal of each chapter is. I also try to incorporate character arcs. I do this mostly with my Original Fiction, because those are works upwards of 120,000 words.
If I outline in Word, I will bluntly write out a dry summary of what happens in the chapter and also any dialogue that I know off the bat is going to be critical. I mean, literally just write out what happens in each chapter in one doc. It feels strange, because you will want to elaborate, but this gets you writing without worrying about being perfect! Get the idea out there. The scene. The key moments. This helps find pace and purpose to each chapter. Every chapter must have a point!
Feelings: I want my reader to feel when they read. I will note in outlines what the goal is for the chapter, but also how people should feel. Are they disgusted by a choice the character has made? Or are they falling in love right alongside the character? Are they full of hate for the antagonist and whatever act they’ve just committed?
I consider the relationships and how they will change. Where they begin and how they end in the outline. I’m aggressive about seeing change in characters and their relationships…and it must make sense. I despise instant love and I hate when a morally grey character suddenly becomes a teddy bear after a few chapters and is “actually really nice” 🙄 That’s fake and unsatisfying. I will find ways to drag characters through emotional trials so that when they come together, the reader is like, “they feel like real people”.
I edit like crazy. Sometimes it takes hours. I will look at a chapter and determine if the emotional impact has been met or not. Does the change present look organic? Etc. very stressful shit and my eyes get so tired.
I will reiterate…there must be A Goal for each chapter. Do not ever write filler shit. No one likes it and you either lose readers or they skip it.
*
For inspiration and fun, I love finding pretty journals to use for anything that I want to work deeper on. This is for my original fiction. I’ll dedicate sections to a story and just work on what the story is about, who the characters are, dedicate entire pages to characters and their past, decorate everything with cool washi tapes and art stickers. I might draw out the rising drama diagram to visualize plot. I’ll even draw maps. It makes for a beautiful body of work to look back on and be like, ‘wow, I should go write that story!’
~
I like Masterclass for learning tips and tricks from different authors. For instance, I learned some interesting things from Neil Gaiman’s class a few years back that made such an impact. While I do not share the same writing process as NG at all, I took to heart a few key things:
*Dialogue & Voice: speak your lines of dialogue out loud. If it sounds unnatural, it’s probably something no person would say, therefore making your dialogue flat.
*Brainstorming: In your journal, write down everything you know about the story. Words. Places. Themes. Relationships. Symbols. Worldbuilding. Points of contention.
*“What happens next? And then what?”: Keep the reader turning the page. Do not write a chapter that does not keep your reader thinking. If it’s boring even to you, then you probably lost readers.
I always suggest at least doing a trial of Masterclass! There are so many great writers and you can find new ways of thinking just by listening to them. Some things are useful, some things aren’t. While I like Neil Gaiman’s class, I actually resonate with James Patterson far more, especially in process.
~
As for recent challenges, that usually revolves around my original fiction. I have projects I need to finish and I get distracted by writing fanfiction, which is fine because fanfiction is relaxing and less high stakes 🤣
As for fanfic, I have one project I’ve been stewing about doing and it’s something literally no one has asked for but me, so we’ll see if I ever post it lol. I had an ‘aha’ moment thinking about it last night. It was for the key turning point to reach an ending and it was diabolical. That character does not want me to bring them into the story, but oh well.
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