#2 POVs bc i was feeling SILLY

[concreteburialplot]

VIRALITY // 10

10 - Maybe Both, Maybe Neither

pairing: nicholas ruffilo x fem!oc [vallie]

masterlist/intro: here | crossposted: ao3 | word count: 5.8k

summary: after waking up next to each other vallie & nicholas go their separate ways. vallie goes to visit an old friend who may be more than friendly. nicholas goes to sober up noah but doesn’t expect him to pull the curtain back on his resentment.

warnings: mentions about alcoholism/AA meetings/cheating, arguing, noah being annoying but what's new, tea is spilled !!, vallie is vulnerable for once in her life, lots of dialogue, alternating POVs sorry 🥲

A/N: Sorry it's been like 2 months since I’ve updated, it literally did not feel like it 🥲 school & life are kicking my ass lol + this chapter ended up being so complicated / difficult

Also! This chapter introduces a very mild crossover with Christian 'Kras' Anthony from the band Chase Atlantic - he's being used as a fun little temporary reoccurring side character. Don't worry, knowing who he is isn't necessary to understand his character lol i just think he's cute🥰

don't like it don't read it. don’t be mean for no reason & let others enjoy things thnx :)

-NICHOLAS-

A jarring buzzing jolts me awake. I sit up a bit with scrunched eyes trying to follow the noise with a wandering patting hand. The noise leads to Vallie’s phone rattling on my bedside table next to her. I grab it and sleepily ignore the call out of habit.

In my still half-sleep state, I don’t want to be anywhere else besides where my body was curled up against her. I return to my spot with my arm around the brunette, tugging her closer. Her scent fills my nostrils when I nuzzle into her neck. The smell of her hair is peppermint-y and the scent on her skin reminds me of marshmallows and… matcha?

Whatever it is, it’s warm, cozy, and smells so yummy it makes me want to eat her again.

Before I have the pleasure of manifesting that thought into reality, her phone goes off vibrating again, this time making me significantly more aggravated.

I snatch the phone looking at her caller ID – the name plastered across the screen:

Christian

with some emojis I’m far too sleepy to decipher.

Christian?

I decide not to ignore her phone call from an evidently urgent caller.

“Hey, Hey.” I gently nudge her shoulder. “Your phone has been going off.”

She lets out a sleepy groan that is probably the cutest noise I’ve ever heard.

She takes one look at the ID and immediately ignores it and shoves it under the pillow.  

Odd.

She yawns and rubs her eye, “What time is it?”

“I’m not sure.” I try to look at the edges of my window covered with blackout curtains trying to gauge even the time of day. “You have your phone, check it?”

Her fingers tap against the mattress. “It’s not that important.”

“Who’s Christian?” I blurt out without thinking.

From the angle I’m at, I can see her eyes widen a bit at the question.

She clears her throat. “What?”

“The person who kept calling you. It was someone named Christian?”

“Oh um,” She bites down on my lip, seemingly contemplating her answer. “He’s a friend.”

I’m filled with a feeling I’m not sure I enjoy nor one I should be feeling.

“A friend?” I ask, unconvinced.

It’s none of my business. It doesn’t matter who he is.

“Yeah, a friend.” She scrunches her brows at the wall. “Why do you care who’s calling me?”

“I-I don’t.” I reply but I know I’m a shit liar and I probably don’t sound very convinced. “I was just wondering.”

“Right.” She yawns then gets up in a panic like she just realized where she is. “Oh my god we fell asleep.”

“Yeah…I figured you gathered that by now.” I said falling down flat beside her.

“Fuck Nick, how am I gonna get out of here?” She scrambles for her phone beneath the pillow to finally check the time. “Fuck, fuck, I have to leave.”

“Okay, okay, calm down. Let me just check out the house, I can take you to get your car.” I pull myself out of bed and let myself stretch out my arms above my head.

“Fuck.” She mutters, readjusting her entire torso in her tight top. “Remind me to never sleep in a corset ever again. I need to get out of this, can I borrow something?”

Her attention lands on me and at first, her forest greens are inquisitive and calm but when she actually looks at me, they widen. Her eyes slowly trail down my body and land where my shirt hangs above the exposed skin of my hips.

Watching her tongue slide between her lips makes my heart thump in my ear drums so loud I can barely hear what she’s saying.

 “Also, can you um,” She clears her throat and looks back up at me, “Help me get this off?”

“Sure.” I nod and drop my arms back down.

She shifts in the bed so the zipper in the back of the faux-corset faces me. My fingers delicately gather her dark chocolate locks and drape them over her shoulder to get them out of my way. Her tan skin curves so beautifully from her neck to her shoulder that I feel as though if I don’t kiss her there it would somehow be insulting.

The need to kiss her there feels as necessary as air, so lean down and press a hesitant kiss to the crook of her neck as I begin unzipping her top.

She doesn’t stop me, which I was sure she would stop me now in the daylight.

Another kiss up, I linger more there.

Then another in the same spot, then another, and another, and another – until I am fully peppering her skin with open mouth kisses and my hands roam her curves.

She lets out little noises the closer I get to her ear that remind me of the ones she gave me when my tongue was inside her.

It’s not until I’m nipping and sucking at her skin that she speaks.

“Nick…” She whines in a tone that says ‘you know better’.

I tug down the rest of her zipper.

My lips still lazily drag up her neck.

I hum against her and let my hands wander down her sides to her hips. “Let me make you feel good.”

She lets out a shuddered whine but not a red or green light.

My hands round her hips giving them a gentle back and forth rub, “I need to taste you again.” I press another kiss against the sensitive skin below her ear and I can feel goosebumps erupt all over her skin.

My fingers burn everywhere they meet her skin and beg to be everywhere  they shouldn’t be.

She closes her eyes and lets herself breathe for a second.

“Nicholas.” She repeats, more sternly this time. “I have to leave before anyone sees me.”

“I know.” I say simply and pull away, strategically resting both hands over my semi.

I know I shouldn’t press more. I know shouldn’t try to convince more. But god do I want to. All I’m thinking about is fucking her senseless.

She keeps a hand on the front of the corset to keep it flush on her skin. “Could I please borrow something?” She reminds me of her original request.

“Oh yeah sure, sorry.” I quickly scan the room for the closest item.

I spot a barely worn Deftones shirt and hand it to her.

“Thanks.”

 She just sort of stares at me then makes a ‘turn-around’ motion with her hand.

“Oh, sorry.” I shift away from her. “It’s not like it’s anything I haven’t seen before.”

“Shut up.”

I hear her let out a sigh of relief, probably from finally being freed from the constricting top.

“Okay you can turn around now.”

I turn back to her and find what I expected: her in my shirt.

What I didn’t expect was to somehow find her even more attractive in my shirt than even a lace corset.

As much as I’d like for her to stay, I fear that if I don’t get her out now, I’ll devour her whole.

“I’ll just… go scope out the area.” I thumb over my shoulder towards the door.

“Good idea.” She nods.

I very quietly sneak out of my room into the empty hallway, gently closing the bedroom door behind me.

After tiptoeing around the house, I find everyone asleep as it seems still quite early, at least for them.  

The drive back to the bar is quiet and somewhat awkward. I’m not sure if it’s because of what we did or if I crossed some sort of invisible line and made her upset.

Or maybe both,

Maybe neither.

Maybe I’m over thinking it.

We haven’t talked about anything, no rules, no boundaries. I don’t know how I would bring that up to begin with. What the hell are we doing? And how do I feel about it. How do I want to feel about it? 

We say goodbye and it’s stiff and odd. I’m not sure if I should kiss her? Or treat her like my colleague?

Maybe both,

Maybe neither.

That one feels more like a maybe neither.

The way she acted this morning makes me think that whatever… this is, is over.

I know it should be done, but there is a part of me that doesn’t want to stop. At least not yet. Maybe if I got one more fix.

Regardless how I feel about it, it was a mistake. I knew that the first time, I knew it last night and I know it now.

Why did I let this happen. How did I let this happen?

I tap my fingers anxiously against the steering wheel once I’ve parked at home.

I know Folio wouldn’t really care but if Noah or Jolly found out about this?

Oh my god.

I don’t even want to think about what would happen.

All I know is two things.

One, I can’t keep fucking thinking about this – I can’t keep thinking about her.

Two, I unfortunately know what I need to do when I walk back through our front door.

-VALLIE-

As soon as my car door shuts behind me, I let out a long sigh that I wasn’t aware I was holding.

I fold my arms around my steering wheel and rest my forehead against it.

“Fuck.”

The entire ride home there was this nausea festering in the pit of my stomach.

I like being with Nicholas.

I like being with Nicholas too much.

And this stupid fucking Deftones shirt is too comfortable and smells too much like him – and I like it more than I should. And I need to get home as soon as possible to get it off me.

This is absolutely the last thing I needed – catching feelings or whatever the fuck is filling my chest with butterflies from someone I’m representing.

This is the band that I shouldn’t have even taken on in the first place, and now I’m here on the verge of vomiting because I miss the way his bed feels. This was not the plan.

I shake my head from the the thoughts as I walk through my front door. It’s just the dickmatization talking. That’s it. I like his dick and that’s all.

His huge fucking…

No.

No.

And god his fucking tongue...

No.

No.

This absolutely cannot be happening.

I won’t let this happen.

I need to nip this in the bud before it goes any further.

I chuck my phone and keys on my dresser and use my palms to lean against the edge.

An abrupt buzzing of my iPhone against the hard wood shocks me from my dissociation.

Christian

Christian

Christian

…could be exactly what I need.

I slide the answer bar across the screen and bring the phone to my ear.

“Hey Kras.” I smile, using his nickname.

“Val!” He chimes cheerfully on the other line. “I’ve been trying to get ya all day!”

“I’m busy Kras, you know that.” I roll my eyes playfully. “What’s up, what do you want so badly?”

“Tour ended last week and I’m staying in LA for a bit for some band stuff before I head back home to Sydney.” He pauses. “I wanna see you. I need to talk to you about something.”

I press my lips together and take a deep breath, suddenly stressed about what exactly that meant.

“Okay. When and where do you wanna meet up?”

“Today? My place?”

“Okay, see you then.”

After a much-needed shower I’m finally at the door of his temporary apartment. I smooth out my outfit, which wasn’t much really, just some sweats with a cropped tank. With as long as I’ve known Kras, it didn’t really matter what I looked like, but I still wanted to look cute. I use my hand to flatten my tied up hair to make sure there’s no ridges before I knock on his door. It doesn’t take long for him to answer it.

“Val.” He greets with his signature big goofy smile.

The tall, long-haired blonde envelopes me into giant hug and I embrace it. His scent fills my nose with memories; it’s soft, comforting, and most of all, fun.

Christian and I have always been close, he’s the closest thing I have to a best friend. Our friendship has always been…interesting to say the least. I think most people would consider our dynamic complicated, but to us it’s quite simple.

I give him a good, hard squeeze around his midsection. “Augh, Kras I’ve missed you.”

He reciprocates the squeeze and places a kiss atop my head. “I missed you too.”

I pull away with a smile and smack his arm, “You don’t text me enough! I didn’t even know your tour ended.”

“Me? The phone works both ways Miss ‘You know I’m busy’” He mocks me jokingly.

“God, I forget how strong your Aussie accent is in person.” I chuckle, diverting the conversation.

I shiver at the ice-cold chill I get from his AC and rub my arms for warmth.

“Fuck it’s cold as shit in here.” It’s so frigid even my teeth chatter.

“Yeah, sorry I like it freezing. You want a jacket or something?” He offers then crosses the room when I nod.

He picks through some clothes in an open suitcase and hands me a multicolored flannel. I pull the flannel over my arms letting the material engulf my body.

After a brief catching up about tour and life, I lean against the wall and cross my arms.

“So, what is it you wanted to talk about.” I cut straight to it.

He bites down on his lip, and I can’t tell if he’s excited or nervous.

Maybe both, maybe neither.

“We need a manager.” He blurts out.

“Oh? I thought you were working with-”

“We want you Val.”

I laugh, because surely, he can’t be serious. I don’t belong to an agency and work my two clients freelance, all on my own. There’s no way I could take on another band, especially one as successful as Chase on top of the other two.

“What? No, no, I absolutely couldn’t manage you guys…”

He steps towards me and trails his fingers down my arms and hooks onto my hands. “Sure you can. You used to, remember?”

I shake my head, “Oh, you know that doesn’t count Christian. We were nobodies – you were nobodies. Of course I could manage your measly little 10,000 Instagram followers.”

He squeezes my hands and tugs on my arms. “C’mon Val. It’ll be like the good old days. It’ll be fun!”

“I don’t know about you, but living in a tiny LA apartment with three men struggling to afford food wasn’t really that good or fun.”

He rolls his eyes and tugs on my arms again. “For old times’ sake?”

I shake my head, “No, no, I already have enough on my plate. I just took on another band not that long ago.”

“Please Val, for us?” His brows curve up, and he gives me the biggest hazel puppy dog eyes that he knows I can’t say no to. “For me?”

I groan and rest my head back against the wall. “I’ll think about it, okay?”

His hands leave mine and find their way to my hips, slipping under the flannel so his hands are holding onto bare skin between my tank and my sweats. His forehead presses against mine.

“Is there anything I can do to help change that answer?” He asks between the small space separating us while his finger traces my jaw line tilting my chin up a bit.

I tug at my lip – this is partially why I came here right? To nip my Nick problem in the bud, to break the dickmatization spell.

“I don’t know, maybe.” I tease up at him with round eyes.

“Hm.” He hums and leans in, pressing a kiss to my lips and I freeze.

Even though we’ve done this a million times before, it just feels wrong now. Nicholas and I aren’t even… anything, we’re just fucking, right? But it still feels odd.

I know this feeling.

And I know what it means.

Fuck.

I pull away and give a little head shake.

“Plum?” He asks using our code word for when we’re interested in or dating someone else.

I groan loudly, shuffle past him to his bed in the studio apartment and dramatically fall flat, face down onto it. Then let out an even louder, longer groan.

He walks over and gently sits criss-cross on the bed next to me.

“Must be a pretty good Plum to have you like this.”

Our friendship was simple. We’re the rare example that a friends-with-benefits can be truly, purely platonic and casual. Kras is a generally affectionate guy, even with his bandmates. And he is one of the only people I feel comfortable being affectionate with, so I let myself be affectionate with him.

We are platonically affectionate best friends who fuck when we’re single. It sounds impossible but it’s who we are and who we have been for almost 10 years. 

It’s nice, cozy, and convenient. Easy.

He’s safe, familiar, and reliable.

Which is more than I can say for any friendship or relationship I’ve ever had.

I turn my head towards him still flat against the bed.

“It’s bad Kras.”

“How bad?”

I chew on my bottom lip. “I work with him.”

His eyes widen. “Oh no.”

“Oh yes.”

“…In the band you were talking about?”

I turn back to hide my face in his duvet. “Oh yeah.”

“Val noooo.”

I chuckle at how his ‘no’s sound like ‘naaauur’s.

“I knooow.” I whine into the sheets.

“Singer?”

I shake my head against the duvet.

“Guitarist?”

“Bassist.” I reply muffled in bedding.

“Oof.”

A laugh escapes me at his reaction. I pop my head up at him, “Stop, I know.”

I pull myself up and cross the bed to sit next to him and lay my head on his shoulder.

“Maybe I just really like his dick.” I state confidently staring out the large window across the room. I blankly watch the daytime city lights flicker across the highrise-littered skyline.

“You think so?” He asks looking down at me a little. “I’ve never seen you get like this over just good dick. You’re pretty cut and dry about like…emotions. You’re good at separating sex from feelings.” He laughs and nudges me. “That’s why we work so well.”

I groan and hide my face in his shoulder because I know he’s right. He’s always right when it comes to shit like this.

“He sang to me Kras.”

“Oh god…was he any good?”

I feel my cheeks heat up and I nod against his arm, “It was so pretty.”

He laughs and tickles my side, “Look at you! You’re smitten! I never thought I’d see the day.”

I grab the nearest pillow and smack him with it, “Shut up!” then fall back flat and cover my face with it.

There’s a silence between us for a bit, a million things running through my mind, but Kras speaks for me.

“You know you can’t love him, right?” He says gently.

My brows furrow immediately, I slam the pillow down and shoot straight up.

“WHOA, whoa whoa.” I cut through the air with my hand. “Nobody ever said anything about…the L word. I do not…love him.” I can barely get the word out as if it’s something forbidden. “I barely fucking know him. I just like his dick.”

“Okay, okay.” He raises his hands in defense. “You can’t like him. You know that right?”

“I don’t even know if I like him. We’re just fucking. That’s all.”

He glares at me with a face that screams, ‘yeah right’. “Well, fine, you know you can’t keep fucking him.”

I let out a long sigh.

“Yeah, I know. I thought coming here to fuck you would help.”

He laughs then tapers off in thought.

“Maybe we don’t actually have to fuck in order to help.” He suggests.

I raise a brow at him, “What do you mean?”

“Well, I mean… guys normally don’t just sing to girls they’re casually hooking up with.”

“Okay…?” I motion for him to keep going.

“So, if it comes up or anything, you could just lie.” He shrugs.

“Lie about what?”                             

“About like, fucking someone else. If he likes you enough to sing to you, he probably won’t be happy if you tell him you’re fucking someone else. So, he’ll stop trying to fuck you.”

I chew on my thumbnail in thought, he’s right. Like always.

“Maybe. I don’t really know if he’d even care. We never really talking about anything… I thought we just had a silent agreement about just fucking, he never said anything about-”

“He sang to you Val.”

I anxiously twirl the ends of my ponytail and chew on my bottom lip. “I don’t want to hurt him.”

He gives me the most ‘are you for real’ glare.

“Okay, okay.” I deflate. “IF it comes up, I’ll mention something.”

“Just don’t say who I am. I don’t know him, he could beat my ass." He laughs. "Plus, it would be pretty awkward for him to find out that you’re fucking a hot guitarist from your other band.” He smirks cheekily.

“Shut up.” I elbow his side playfully, “I never said yes.”

“But you will.”

I chew on my lip thinking it over.

On one hand, I’m already insanely busy and overworked with the two artists I’m already managing.

On the other hand, as odd as they are, they are old and close friends of mine. It wouldn’t be like managing strangers or learning a whole new fanbase, I helped build the foundation of the one they have now back in 2014.

And it would be a good distraction.

If this plan works out with Nick, maybe I could move on from Plum status and I can actually focus on my job.

“Fine. I’ll do it. BUT,” I hold a finger pointed towards him menacingly, “ONLY temporarily.”

“Ah yes! I knew you would!” He exclaims, wrapping his arms around me and tackling me to the bed, pressing various ‘thank you’ kisses to my cheek.

“Okay, okay enough.” I chuckle trying to escape his grasp.

-NICHOLAS-

I let a long sigh at the bottom of the stairs, shifting my weight between both feet. I tap my fingers on the wooden railing anxiously. I probably shouldn’t be this rattled over something I’ve done a million times before. But it doesn’t get any easier.

I push myself up the stairs in one driving force knowing that it has to be me. It’s always me.

Never Folio. Never Jolly.

It’s always been my job.

There’s no response when I knock on Noah’s bedroom door.

I knock again, no answer.

I knock again, no answer.

So, I let myself in.

As expected, Noah’s passed out with a fresh bottle of whiskey half drank on his nightstand. His room still in as much filth as it’s been for a while. For as long as I’ve known him, I’ve only ever seen his room even remotely messy a handful of times, and this is the worst I’ve ever seen it. In the past I’ve known the reasons behind the mess or the drinking – usually over a breakup or some depression spell – but this time he kept me in the dark. I have no fucking clue what's going on with him.

If I wasn’t so aggravated with him already, the mess of the room would worry me even more than I already am.

I cross the threshold of garbage between the door and his bed and pat his cheek awake.

“Noah.”

Sleepy snores tumble from his mouth and while one might find them endearing, right now, they’re pissing me the fuck off.

“Noah.” I say more sternly, nudging him more. No luck.

I try various other ways, and nothing works. He’s out cold.

So, I try a tried-and-true classic.

I climb on top of him and straddle his waist over the duvet, one knee at each side of his hips. His boney exposed shoulders offer a great anchor so I grab them, shaking him awake.

He comes-to slowly, droopy heavy lids struggling to open. His fist goes to rub his tired eye but winces when he’s reminded of the swollen black and blue that surrounds it.  

“The fuck are you doing?” He groans, stealing a pillow from beside him to cover his face. “Get off of me.”

I snatch the pillow from his grasp and toss it across the room. “No. You’re going to get up. You’re going to shower. And I’m taking you to a meeting.”

He shields his eyes with his arm. “I’m-I’m fine Nick, don’t need a meeting.” His words slurring together.

“You’re a fucking idiot.” I correct.

“I don’t need a meeting.” He hiccups and I can smell the alcohol radiating off him, seeping through his skin. “I’m not going. I'm just gonna sleep.”

I grab his wrists, pin them to the bed and get low to his face. “Oh you’re going. We’re gonna sober you up, starting with a shower.” I pull off him and stand beside the bed.

“Let’s go. C’mon.”

“No.”

“We can do this the easy way or the hard way. Either way has the same result. Let’s go.”

“No.”

I sigh, even though I knew it would end up like this. “Fine. Hard way it is.”

I yank the sheets off him and use two arms to scoop up his body by his midsection and throw him over my shoulder. He’s thin enough to where even I can lift and carry him easily – or maybe I’ve just gotten used to the weight of him in my arms.

“Nick let me fucking go.” He whines but doesn’t try to wiggle out of my grasp, probably too hungover to move that much.

With every bit of my strength, I carry his thin body to his guest bathroom.

I all but toss him into the shower, start the water, and fling the curtain closed.

“Hey! What the fuck!” He yells and shuts off the water immediately.

He slings the curtain open and snatches a towel off the nearest rack, wrapping it around his shirtless torso.

“What the fuck is your problem, Nicholas!” His hands frantically wipe the water from his face. 

I let out a frustrated groan and turn to leave. "Stop being a baby." 

He steps out of the tub and calls after me, “Hey, I’m not fucking done talking to you!”

The shower shock did exactly what I needed it to do, sober him up, but now I regret even waking him up.

“My problem is that you’re a fucking drunk Noah.” I snap turning back to him.

“I’m not a fucking drunk, I have it under control. You’re just fucking paranoid!” He steps into the hallway dripping water all over the carpet.

“I’m not fucking paranoid, Noah. I’m not letting you drink yourself to oblivion.”

His brows lift in offense, “Let me? What the fuck are you, my fucking keeper?”

“Sometimes it sure fucking feels like I am!” The words escape me before I can stop them.

He chuckles in disbelief, “Well, nobody fucking asked you to be.”

“It doesn’t matter if anyone asked me to, I have to because who the fuck else is gonna pick your sorry, bruised ass off a bar floor in the middle of the fucking day?” My hand helps exaggerate each word.

“Jolly or Folio would’ve.” He sasses, crossing his arms.

“Oh yeah? And how long you think they’d put up with that?” I step closer to him. “Not for as long as I have, that’s for fucking sure.”

His eyes scrunch together like he’s hurt or offended.

Maybe both,

Maybe neither.

“I won’t let you push out everyone in our lives Noah.”

His eyes land on me and he cocks his head to the right a bit like a dog processing a foreign noise.

“‘Push out everyone in our lives’ is that what this is actually about? Alice?”

My gaze locks on him and my hands curl into tight fists at my sides. There are many words I want to say but none seem able to leave my tongue.

“Oh my god. You can’t be serious.” He steps back and points defensively at me. "I didn't push her out, you did!" 

My blood boils and burns as it courses through my veins. My eyes narrow at him.

“I know you fucked her Noah.” I shove my finger so hard into his chest that it nearly knocks him back.

“I didn’t even like her Nick! Why the fuck would I fuck her?” He immediately denies.

“Because you always have to have everything you want, including the things that aren’t yours.”

“‘Things’” He scoffs. “Funny how you’re so upset about someone you only see as a thing.”

My teeth grind so hard it makes my jaw clench, “You know she was never a thing to me until you fucked her.”

“Oh, give it a break Nicholas! Stop blaming me for her leaving.” His hands exaggerate his words then points straight at me. “You are the reason your relationship failed. You are the reason she left.”

My eyes narrow as I step closer to his soaked body. “I would really watch what you fucking say if I were you.”

“Or what?” He asks but I have no answer. “When are you going to stop punishing me for something I never fucking did?”

I watch his eyes: dark brown, heavy, bloodshot, and one lined with a dark bruise from the bar fight. His words sound genuine, but I know his eyes, I know them like the back of my hand.

I know when he’s lying, and he’s lying to me right now. I can’t prove it, I haven’t been able to, but I know he’s been lying to me for the past year.

“For the love of god Noah, can you just stop fucking lying?” I snap. "You don't even have enough respect for me to tell me the truth?"

“Wow.” He presses his lips together for a moment. “You must think so low of me to really believe that I would do something like that.”

“I don’t have to think low of you to believe the truth.” I hiss, stepping towards him. “But you’re going to keep denying it so it’s irrelevant what I believe did or didn’t happen. What I do know, is that you have a fucking problem, and you need help.”

He steps towards me with low brows and narrow beady eyes, “I didn’t fuck Alice and I don’t need a fucking alcohol anonymous meeting just because I still like to get drunk sometimes. I am a fucking adult, and I don’t need you to ‘save me’.” He scoffs and runs his tongue across his teeth. “You know? Maybe that’s what actually drove Alice away, you and your fucking high-and-mighty, savior complex bullshit.”

Every inch of skin on my body feels like its burning and my heart races so loud I can barely even think clearly. I tighten my fists so tight that my nails dig into my palms painfully. I know that if I do anything, it will make me look like the villain.

“I can’t fucking hit you because if I do, I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop.” I growl lowly. “Get sober or don’t, I don’t fucking care anymore – but we have a chance, a real chance at making it now and if you ruin this for us Noah, I will never fucking forgive you. Do you understand me? I will fucking destroy you if you fuck this up for us.”

His brows curve up and he looks at me like I’m insane for insinuating that he would. “I won’t.” He replies through gritted teeth.

I glance over the railing when I hear the house beginning to stir with Jolly and Folio starting to wake up, which is exactly what I was trying to avoid. I don’t need them getting involved.

“Just,” I lower my voice between us. “Make it to rehearsals, meetings, shows – the rest I don’t give a fuck. Just make it to work. Sober.”

“Fine.” He says quickly, "If that will keep you out of my fucking business and leave me the fuck alone."

"Fine."

"Fine." He repeats, because of course he has to have the last word, before storming off to his room and slamming the door behind him.

I mirror him, making it to my room and slamming the door.

Once alone, the feeling that courses through my body is nauseating, painful and overwhelming. It is a visceral ache, I feel it twisting in my chest first, in my ribs, then flows and pools in the pit of my stomach.

I thought I moved on from the Alice situation. I tried to force myself to believe him, I tried to forget and push it so far down that it wouldn’t hurt. Tried to rationalize, maybe he didn’t sleep with her. Maybe he didn’t betray me. Maybe it really is just me projecting the weaknesses of our relationship onto him. But no matter how hard I push it down, it always bubbles back up.

And in my gut, I know he did it. Everything adds up, the timelines, the behavior, all of it.

I was just never prepared for a girlfriend to cheat on me with my best friend. I was never prepared to have him sleep with my girlfriend. Not after everything we’ve been through.

I was never prepared to have my heart broken by the two people I trusted and loved more than anything in my life.

In retrospect, I guess, I should’ve expected it. For as long as I can remember Noah always had girls fawning all over him. He always had that lead singer charm even though he never planned on being a frontman. Girls were never an issue for him, he seemed to get anyone he ever wanted.

Is it really that far-fetched that the one I had wanted him too?

Is that all that this is going to be from now on? Any girl the rest of us want, would just want Noah first?

I never pictured that this would be our future.

I never pictured my best friend of over a decade fucking my girlfriend then lying about it to my face.

I never pictured having to drag said lying, alcoholic best friend out of bed trying to get him to an AA meeting just so he could be sober enough for rehearsals.

I never imagined that out of the four of us, it would be me having to hold it all together. I never signed up for that. I signed up to play an instrument, to sign CDs, sleep in busses and sit in interviews. I never signed up to play manager, I never signed up to secretly scrape Noah off bar floors, be his personal caretaker and tentative AA sponsor. Doing all of that just to have it thrown in my face, to stand next to him – every day in rehearsals, in photoshoots, on stage, across the fucking dining table – knowing what he did and pretending that I’m okay with it.

I never thought I’d feel stuck in this band, this thing Noah and I have worked on and dreamed about since we were 15. I’ve poured so much of my life into this fucking band.

I can’t just up and leave. I’d have nothing left. I’d be nothing without them and I can��t be the bomb to blow us up. Especially not now when everything is just starting to take off. All this work would’ve been for nothing.

It’s not just my livelihood and dream, but theirs as well. I can’t do that to them.

And as much as I want to, as much as I’ve tried, I can’t leave Noah. We both know I’m right whether he wants to admit it or not. Nobody else would do what I do, nobody knows what I do, and nobody knows how to take care of him the way I do. He’s stubborn and stupid and won’t let anyone else in the way he’s let me in.

I don’t know why I’m the only one who has gotten the curse of his trust, but I have it and I can’t hand it off or set it down – no matter how heavy or suffocating it is.

Next Chapter -> 11 - Peak Fashion

tag list; @ladyveronikawrites @kingdomof-omens @persuasivus @strawberryruffilo @thebadchic @the-hell-i-overcame @sinkingteethinwhitenoise @cncohshit @dominuslunae [comment if you'd like to be tagged?]

A/N: The love for this story has honestly been so overwhelming (in a good way obv) and I couldn't be more grateful. I really thought this would flop lol so, thank you so much for every like, reblog, ask, or comment. It means the world to me truly. Thank you.

i love hearing your thoughts so feel free to share! (i'm really bad at responding to comments/asks but i still love them 🥺)

#2 POVs bc i was feeling SILLY #& by silly i mean the characters were not cooperating with the assignment #sorry if this chapter is all over the place i was having so much trouble with this one #this is the first time i’ve ever had multiple POVs in one chapter & i can’t tell if i like it or not #vallie wears princess by kilian perfume #i love how vallie's character is developing #i think vallie & kras' friendship came out so cute 😭 #nicholas ruffilo fanfic #noah sebastian fanfic #bad omens fanfiction #bad omens fanfic #noah sebastian fanfiction #nicholas ruffilo fanfiction #nick ruffilo fanfic #nick ruffilo fanfiction #nicholas ruffilo x oc #nick ruffilo x oc #nicholas ruffilo x fem!oc #bad omens x oc #noah sebastian x oc #noah sebastian x fem!oc #virality series #virality #christian anthony #christian kras anthony #christian anthony fanfic #kras anthony fanfic #chase atlantic #chase atlantic fanfic #concreteburialplot works

[bazoonga-bazinga]

Who made the Great Plan?

I maybe just a wee bit crazy, but after rewatching that first scene from s2e1 where Crowley is told about the Great Plan and the scene where Aziraphale debunks the Great Plan and the Ineffable Plan being the same from s1e7, I got to thinking. Even though it was a spur of the moment realization, Aziraphale was right that the Ineffable Plan and the Great Plan are two differnt things. Working off of this conclusion, I dont think it was God who made the Great Plan. While its possible that God changed the plan for the fate of the universe, its highly unlikely that this misinformation would have persisted this long without someone deliberately messing with the understanding of what the Ineffable Plan was. Also we as the audience know that the Ineffable Plan was not the Great Plan becuase after the Great Plan fails, we still get narration from God in that final scene in season 1 of the nightingale which implies that God knew the Great Plan would fail and there would be a future after the supposed 6000 year time limit.

So this begs the question who made sure the Great Plan was the main narrative being spread among the angels? It wasn't a demon since technically there were no demons at the time of that first scene in s2e1 (if i have my mental timeline right). It would have to be a someone with authority among the angles who could ensure that they had constant control of the conversation.

Metatron spread the Great Plan prophecy rumor from s1. My proof:

He is the "voice of God", so everyone would believe anything he says

He would use his authority as the spokesperson for God to spread the Great Plan among the angels who would have no reason to doubt that this wasn't the word of God

In season 1, he was very adamant about not letting Aziraphale talk to God to stop the events of Armageddon

From his conversation with Aziraphale at the end of the infamous s2e6, we can see that he well adapt in manipulation as he knows exactly what to say to Aziraphale to consider and accept the job offer.

I might just be blinded by my current hatred of metatron rn and could be overestimating his abilities, but it made some sense in my mind. The only thing i cannot really pin down is his motivation for doing this. The main two culprits for any other angel would be power or ensuring Heaven's victory. However, I think that from the position that Metatron currently sits at, these two reasons don't really make any sense since he already has a shitton power which he could use to ensure victory. The only real reason i can think of is that he wants to play God, but even then I feel there has to be something else I am missing here to fully complete the picture. I feel like this all has something to do with why God was only there in a flashback and one present day scene, but no narration this season...

but tldr I think it was Metatron manipulative ass.

#good omens spoilers #good omens 2 spoilers #good omens 2 #idk its just a thing i have been thinking about #prob wrong bc there isnt much proof but hey might as well put it out there #teehee :) #good omens #also another thing that bothers me is why he would tell aziraphale big event is being orchestrated by heaven #maybe it was to show aziraphale how much he trusts him but i feel its more like we are doing this (threat) #also also really sorry coffee theorists i love the optimism but the crowley's reaction to poison is different than aziraphale's behavior #i just think that if it was poisoned that we would have seen a more immediate and physical reaction like crowley had? if that makes sense #who knows i could be wrong but i am taking that convo as a show of metatron's manipulation abilities from the pov of the target of it #local good omens fan poses another theory that will inevitability look so silly when s3 drops #also yes i have read the doc and personally i dont think its that deep but i do believe metatron is doing something shady

[penvisions]

by the grit of sandpaper {chapter 2}

Pairing: Jackson! Joel Miller x Patrol Partner! Reader

Chapter Summary: It goes without saying that your first overnight patrol in years happens to be with Joel Miller. But the conversation doesn't flow easily like it normally does, with your haywire emotions and his unintentional eavesdropping...

Word Count: 7.5k

Warnings: canon typical violence, canon typical language, illusions to past death, illusions to past trauma, blood, hurtful language, town gossip, rumors, negative feelings, pining, unrequited feelings, joel a little daft in this, reader is a little daft in this, heart of gold joel, carpenter joel, woodworking joel, artisan joel, patrol partnership, mild injuries, reader snaps at joel, lots of feelings, slight angst, hurt and comfort, joel miller's hands need their own warning, jealousy, three (3) instances of joel miller gently touching reader, intentional flirting, unintentional flirting, casual intimacy, urges to kiss joel miller get their own warning, protective joel, minor injuries, fluff, this is so unbelievably soft, reader is described as smaller than joel (bc c'mon), reader has a commonly used nickname but no assigned name, joel and reader pov

A/N: i just really got caught up in these two after work yesterday. i hope this chapter reads as well as the first one, i'm super nervous bc i want to keep it soft, but i did say there was slight angst in this! love y'all ♡

ao3 link || series masterlist || main masterlist || ko-fi

You were minding your own business walking back from the mess hall when you caught wind of the conversation.

It was a hushed thing, between two people right outside of the turn for the main street. Two women standing close to each other. You had been passing them by when your ears caught your nickname. And then your real one.

“Olive? What kind of grown woman willingly goes by such a silly nickname.” One quiet voice uttered.

“Tommy Miller gave it to her, on account of the trees in her backyard. Surprised she even knows what to do with them.” Another one, both of them faintly familiar. While Jackson was small, only a few hundred people, it was easy to recognize them. They were the ones you often heard while helping out with the gardens, offering trade with the owners as you all shared the spoils of your own personal ones tended to in backyards.

You knew you were intent on pulling your own weight to support and protect the town. Having been grateful for stumbling across the safe haven it provided all those years ago now. Partaking in the patrol rotation and helping out with anything around the town. You had made a life here, one that you had always wanted to try and salvage from the wreckage of the world.

But that didn’t stop people from being people. Rumors and gossip spreading as quickly as the virus that forced the world into small communities like this one. You just happened to be the star in the most recent bout, it seems.

“Yeah, but she does bring them to the markets and trade, so she’s not all that daft.”

“She’s going on the overnight patrol. With Joel Miller.” A whispered reveal, as if it was a death sentence, something that couldn’t be spoken at a regular volume lest it manifest into something.

“Hopefully she doesn’t get-“

“He’s so much more capable, they already saddle him with her for two of his mornings shifts.”

“And now they’re putting her with him for one of the most important ones, what are they thinking.”

“She’s a dear, truly, but she’s going to lose it. Just like she did all those years ago.”

“If she’s the only one that comes back…”

“Marsha, hush, you can’t speak that way. He’s capable enough for the both of them.”

Oh, they weren’t just talking about mundane stuff. They were talking about that. Your chest tightened as you realized they didn’t have any faith in your skills, in the risks you took every time you went beyond the gates to ensure their safety.

Turning back the way you came, not able to face walking past the two women huddled close together and talking so casually about the things that kept you up at night and made sleep hard to come by. You walked straight into a broad chest smelling far too familiar. Smelling like Joel. A grunt that sounded way too baritone and way too close sprung into the evening air at the contact much like your wheezing gasp.

“Woah there, sweetheart, where’s the fire?” Large hands skimmed over your back, arms encasing you, and making you feel a little light-headed, righting your balance as you began to waver from the sudden contact. Oh no, not that honeyed drawl, not that voice, not that tender nickname, not him, not now.

Your composure was already slipping, and you didn’t think you could hold on to what little you had left if he were to ask you if you were alright. The need, the want to answer his questions always winning out.

But you couldn’t, not this time.

“I-I’m fine, just forgot- something.”

“Hey.” And you stopped trying to step back. His hands came up from around your arms where he had grabbed you, cradling your face and tilting you to look at him. His features were softened, the wrinkles beside his eyes and in his forehead creased as he looked you over, making sure you were okay. But you weren’t and you didn’t want him to know. Spurred on by the sound of two voices that had caused all this rounding onto the street, you ignored the fluttering of your heart, the way your breath had caught in your throat, the way he had been touching you and fled.

“See you to-tomorrow!” You managed to squeak out as you stepped away from him, avoiding looking at him directly, his arms falling back to his sides. You weren’t sure if he was trying to catch your eyes, not raising them past his chest as you walked around him. His gaze was heavy on you, following you as you took off down the street in a roundabout way to get back to the streets lined with houses.

“Tommy, please.” Your voice was small, an imitation of what it normally sounded like, and Joel stopped in his tracks. He had a bag of things for Maria, for his brother that he had wanted to drop off before retiring for the night. He tried to quiet his breathing, standing as still as a statue in the back part of the hallway of their house, your voice carrying in from the open sliding door that led out to the sunroom.

He had just run into you down by the shops, or more accurately you had run into him. Literally. His mind had blanked at the feel of your body against his own, the soft press of you up against his chest, the feel of your warm breath fanning over the skin of his neck. And not for the first time, he thought of how well you would fit into him. How well his body could wrap around yours.

He had noticed that while around town you were hesitant to let anyone so much as clap a hand over your shoulder. Aside from the children, whose hands you gladly held with kind smiles and whose arms you welcomed around your shoulders with laughter. Tommy and Maria being the only ones he had witnessed you embracing in quick hugs.

He was always so careful with you, not allowing for direct contact to linger. It always made his heart thunder in his ears, and he wasn’t sure if you were okay with it, the casual touching. You never shied away from him, from the skimming of his fingers against your own or the more recent indulgences he had given into with the touch of his hand or the touch of his lips to minor injuries. He wasn’t ashamed to admit it delighted him to see the way your lashes fluttered and the feel of your breath hitching. He was a man after all, and he was one who was a fool for the jittery feelings you stirred in him. Even if he worried for them at the same time.

“Olive, you can’t let their words get to you.” His brother’s voice was calm, assuring you of the worries you shared with the man.

“But they’re right, Tommy!” Your voice rose to the highest volume Joel had ever heard and then wavered to nothing. More hiccups and sniffling sounding through the door. A particularly harsh hiccup sounded, startling him as he realized you were crying. Chest tight, Joel couldn’t even picture it. The thought of tears running down your upset face steeled his heart. He clenched his hands tight over the handle of the bag in his grip as he heard the shuffle of movement. He couldn’t see through the glass for the curtain fluttering in the evening breeze.

Joel was turning on his heel as your sniffles grew into sobs, moving as quietly as he could back through the house. He set the bag atop the kitchen counter and closed the front door behind him as gently as he could to not garner your or his brother’s attention. He had already heard more than he had meant to, the sound of your distressed voice beckoning him to you as he felt the need to console you. To make whatever it was better.

He knew you had been acting off earlier, just moments ago. From your wild eyes to the way you had been so distracted, the stutter to your voice.

But you were a private person, indulging him in his silly, earnest questions while out on patrol. But this?

This was something you definitely would not someone overhearing, and he respected that. He knew all too well the things people kept to themselves, things that were never exposed to the light of day, spoke of in front of others. And he didn’t want to betray the trust you seemed to have in him by hiding behind a curtain while you fell apart in front of someone who already knew of your struggles and ghosts.

He only hoped that one day…you would feel safe enough and comfortable enough with him to help you shoulder their weight. Because he knew not every patrol went smoothly, how could they, when the whole point of them was to keep up with any possible threats.

Once back in his own home, he found Ellie fast asleep on the couch with a movie playing on the modest television and a sketchbook dangling from her fingers. He removed his boots and then his coat, catching a whiff of the scent of you on his clothing. Light, slightly floral, sweet. You must’ve been tending to the garden he knew you kept in your yard earlier that day. Or baking something like you were apt to do.

With a sigh, he turned off the movie and closed the sketchbook to set it atop the table in front of the couch before moving into the kitchen. The slice of pie you had given him the other day was somehow still in the container you had fumbled for. Ellie must’ve known it was from you because she hadn’t said anything or tried to steal it. Knowing Joel liked to enjoy the treats you shared with him in the evenings with a cup of coffee.

So, he did, as he sat in his work room and began to sketch out some simple designs. He would fill your whole kitchen with whatever you wanted if it meant he would never have to encounter your tears again.

“They- they said I’m going to get him killed, that I shouldn’t even be on the no-normal patrol rotation.”

“It’s okay, everything’s going to be okay.” Tommy tried to console you, taking in the situation and your words a best he could. But you had rushed through them, explaining in bits and pieces. You were emotionally charged, worked up, and nearly trembling. You thought you had worked through this, at least enough to be okay on the day-to-day front. But those two women, Marsha and her friend, had taken you back to the wave of everything as if it had just happened.

You were scared. Because they were right, you were dangerous. There was the very real possibility that you could cause harm to Joel, and you didn’t even want to begin to entertain thoughts like that. He…he was good and you didn’t want to be the cause of the man’s downfall. A promise to his brother to fill a spot on patrol spiraling into the current situation and it hadn’t even happened yet. It was supposed to, first thing in the morning.

“No, it’s not, Tommy. Everyone in town thinks I’m going to get him killed. That I got Aiden killed.” The name was foreign falling from your lips after not speaking it for so long. It was something you hadn’t been able to do since that patrol so many years ago now. “I ca-can’t stomach the thought of him getting injured because of me, because I’m not good enough to protect him. He does so much more for this town, he’s important. He deserves someone alongside him that will be a help not a hindrance.”

“You listen to me, and you hear me,” Tommy’s voice was firm, wide eyes focused and mouth a thin line as he spoke to you. Soft undercurrents of assurance in his tone. And you knew what he was about to say. It was always the same thing, the same sentiment, reassurance that it hadn’t been your fault. It had just been the circumstances, the world operating as it tended to do now. Unfairly. “Honey, it wasn’t your fault that those people found you. You cover your tracks well, hey, you do, okay?”

“I had been so focused on him, I didn’t, Tommy I didn’t hear them come up on us. Not their horses, not their footsteps, I didn’t even hear the gunshot until he was falling over.” Footsteps on the wooden floor thudding as you pacing back and forth, arms crossed over your chest and shaking your head in the way that you did when the thoughts got too overwhelming.

“But it wasn’t your fault. It was a messy situation, they happen. Hey, honey, they happen even to the best of us.” Tommy reached for you, standing from the chair he had taken beside you when you arrived in a flurry. Ushering you to the sun room at the back of the first floor, furthest away from the main bedroom upstairs. Maria had been in bed all day, not feeling well and had finally found the peace of sleep after an early dinner. His arms were wrapping around you and you allowed him to pull you into his chest, face pressing into his sweater.

“I should’ve been looking! I should have been more aware…”

“Shh, it’s okay, the patrol is going to go okay.” He rested his chin on the crown of your head and felt your hands tangle in the front of his clothing. “Everything is going to be okay.”

“You, ah, you…been okay?” Joel tried to break the uncharacteristically tense silence in an easy move, with a relatively harmless question. He had been up all night, wondering and worrying about this being the first longer route with you. Not that he didn’t trust in your skills and ability, but that he didn’t trust in the secrecy around why you didn’t do the longer routes. Of the things he overheard in his brother’s house just last night. Tommy had claimed that if he was to know, it had to come from you. That it wasn’t the younger man’s story to tell and Joel was trying to respect that.

And if that hadn’t sent alarm bells to rumble low in his mind, then your behavior this morning would’ve.

You hadn’t been at your house when he went to pick you up, the windows dark and the door locked. He had knocked, thinking maybe you had overslept. He had found you at the stables, cursing at the clasps of the saddle that weren’t cooperating with your ministrations to secure them. The way that you jumped when he cleared his throat and greeted you, wide eyes settling on him and body tense as if having expected someone else. Someone you had to protect yourself against, if the hand flying to your holstered gun was any indication.

Definitely concerning.

The sound of twin sets of hooves the only sound for the last fifteen miles or so. You had been content, or as well as could be considering the circumstances, beside him. Wide-brimmed hat drawn low to shadow over most of your face, body on a constant swivel as you took in the new to you surroundings. The landscape covered in autumnal tones. It was beautiful, the warm reds, oranges, and yellows of the changing trees. But it was also deadly, threats hidden within the lush tree line, just over the rolling hills, waiting for the opportune moment to strike.

“Been okay.” Was your short answer, not feeling like you knew how to hold a causal conversation anymore. Not since seeing the man’s craft had cropped up in his brother’s home and the way in which he had denied your part in the idea. That paired with the anxiety of being so far out from the settlement wasn’t sitting well. “You been okay?”

“Yeah, of course. Just busy, you know?”

“You hardly ever take a moment, see you and hear talk of you bouncing around so much. Everyone must really appreciate you willing to help. The skills you have, they mean so much. They allow us a better chance to not just survive, but to live.” You wished he could see it, the way children would stare transfixed as him and Tommy led a team of people through creating things the way that they did. From foundations to frames, tiling roofs and securing windows into place. It meant growth, the ability to rebuild, it meant anticipation of the future beyond just a few days. And he helped to provide that for the settlement with the use of his hands and the skills comprised in his head.

He only hummed in response, as if he was disbelieving of the sentiment behind your words.

And then, of course:

“Is…is there a reason why you don’t do the overnight routes?” It was a cautious one, though you could hear the undertones of concerns that coated his polite curiosity. And undercurrent of worry in his beautiful eyes that had turned amber in the sunlight you caught sight of with a quick glance when he had continued to speak.

But his question was ill timed, everything too raw in you to indulge in it at the moment.

“Joel, that’s none of your business.” You felt the easy smile fade from your face as you turned away from the man. You ignored the inclination to face him, feeling the weight of his eyes watch the way you squared your shoulders. Searching for signs of something you weren’t quite sure of. You were always willing to chat with him, about everyday stuff and the heavier stuff should one of you need to vent or rant. Never talking about it back inside the walls and surrounded by the people you went out to protect. But this?

You couldn’t. It was too much, and you know your voice had turned hard, sharp.

“Shit, I’m sorry- we just, normally you’re okay with my questions. I didn’t mean to overstep a line.”

“Well, you did. Just drop it, okay?”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, I didn’t-“

“I get it, just, stop please.” Snapping the reigns, you clicked your tongue to get Lowry to pick up the pace of her hooves. Moving ahead, following the path that was slowly coming back to you as the event you tried to block cropped up in your mind piece by piece.

“Okay.”

It was easy, comfortable to be beside him even in uncharted territory and land new to you after so many years. Because despite the rough start to the day, having reached the proverbial fork in the road that would take you farther from Jackson you had been in so long, it was easy to feel like things might just be okay with him mounted on his own horse ahead of you.

Even despite his rather invasive question.

You felt bad for snapping at him, for being too caught up in your own mind to enjoy the time beside him.

He was always so busy around town, but out here on patrol; he was yours.

His attention not being pulled in endless directions of so many who looked to him for help and advice, for his opinion on something or other. He was so willing to take the time and fix, mend, build, repair, anything that people called on him for. He had just been trying to do the same here, now. Ensuring you were okay. Because you knew your behavior wasn’t normal. You had jumped when seeing him this morning in the stables. You hadn’t taken the offered thermos, not wanting the caffeine to make you even more jittery paired with your anxiety and nervousness. And it was silly because you knew he meant well.

He couldn’t have known the question was a landmine.

He couldn’t have known it was the one, seemingly simple question that you were unable to answer him.

He had fallen quiet since you asked him to drop it. And you felt bad. There was tension about him, in his broad shoulders and the grip of his hands on the reigns in front of him. His legs shifting more than normal as the muscles tensed and relaxed in a pattern you couldn’t quite make out. You had bothered him, with your sharp words. And you worried that you had broken some part of what this was.

“Hey, Joel?”

A huff.

“Did you finish all the coffee?”

“No, got your thermos right here.” He patted the bag attached to the saddle. You couldn’t have known he meant that it was truly your thermos. Always nestled between his own and Ellie’s, in the cabinet, in the drying rack next to the sink. Yours, and not just while on patrols.

“May I please have it?” Nerves alight, you chanced a glance. He had to have been lost in his own head, his eyes coming back to the present slowly as he cast them toward you.

“Only because you asked so nicely, sweetheart.” He leaned down to retrieve it, holding it out to you. You were careful not to brush your fingers against his own. Thinking that maybe he hadn’t been too comfortable with the casual touching that seemed to have grown in occurrence, even if he had called on you and pressed his lips to your wounded head. Undeserving of the attention he had deigned to give you, you didn’t want him to think you were doing it on purpose. Trying to impinge on his personal space in such an intimate way.

“You-your from Texas, right?” Of course you were stuttering, nervous to interact with him, to try and bridge the divide you had caused. But you still tried, not wanting to lose the dynamic you two shared, even if you had been in your head. Even if you had no intention of physical contact, you still yearned for the easy conversations you two shared.

“Right.”

“Did you see a big change between the seasons?”

He seemed to deflate, the tension in his body ebbing just as the quick beat of your heart did as he turned to look at you for the first time in hours. Calming, reacting to each other, softening in the wake of what had happened.

The village was just as you remembered, as the horses came up on a hill looking over it. It was small, a collection of long abandoned houses and businesses on the cusp of the national park that once boasted large crowds and endless visitors who came to enjoy the views. The mountains surrounding it were breathtaking, covered in the changes of the season. Looking for all the world a quaint little getaway.

Another hour and you found yourself working silently beside Joel to clear the buildings, searching for anything that could be of use for the town, for its inhabitants.

Another hour and you found yourself stood in the kitchen of a small house, rustling through the cabinets in search of whatever may be hidden within them. With a delighted hum, your fingers wrapped around the soft casing of canvas and you pulled it out from within the depths of the one you had crouched down to inspect. Joel’s jacket hushed as he turned to you at the sound, his eyes watching, ever vigilant and ready to strike sound something be wrong.

But nothing was wrong, you leaned back on your heels as you pulled the object out into the light of your flashlight. It was a canvas pouch, rolled up and secured with leather straps that had seemed to stand the test of time and decay.

“Oh my gosh, Joel!” You looked up at him with a pleased grin, teeth flashing at him as you did so. Giddy with the discovery. You set it down over your thighs and unfastened the straps, rolling out the canvas to reveal beautifully crafted handles nestled into small, slim pockets. His steps were quiet as he moved closer, shining his own flashlight onto the find. With nimble fingers you shut your own off and tucked it into the internal pocket of your dark green jacket, pulling one of the handles carefully from where it rested to reveal a sheathed chef’s knife.

The sheath was a little worse for wear, the plastic cover faded and brittle, but when you removed it, the blade proved to be in pristine condition if a little dull.

“Joel, these knives are so beautiful.” Your words were practically a purr as you checked the others to find them nearly perfect. The whole set. Each blade crafted beautifully with a wavy design of darker metal inlaid into a lighter one, the blunt side fading from dark to light. “These are classic Japanese crafted, perfectly balanced. A bit dull, but with some care and a good sharpening block they would be as good as new.”

“Oh, so you didn’t just dabble in the kitchen then.”

“Hmm?”

“You were a chef, weren’t you?”

“Oh, um, yes. But that doesn’t mean much these days, so I tend to downplay it.” You stood, the pouch rolled back up and secured.

“You let me go on about jarred tomato sauce and cereal.”

“I meant it when I said those were balanced meals, I swear!”

“Uh-huh, sure you did. Entertainin’ me, is what you were doin’.” He was delighting in the friendly banter, no true hurt or dismay in his words if the upturn of his lips on one side was an indication. The smirk allowed for that endearing dimple to appear in the pocket of his right cheek, much like his brother’s.

“Joel, no offense, but hush. Food is food.” You tried to make it seem like you hadn’t meant any harm, because you hadn’t. Food was food, back then and even more so now. It was a way to survive, important and so scarce a necessity these days. The abundance of it within the settlement still something that amazed you. The ingenuity of people to create and cultivate agriculture as a base function of humanity and community.

“I’d bet my left arm you didn’t used to think like that. Back when we had the choice between organic and fresh to mass produced and cheap.”

“Hey! Junk food was important too! You know how many times I had a family sized bag of chips for dinner?”

“No, sweetheart, how many?”

“At least twice a week.” Flicking your hand with two fingers raised up, you couldn’t help the bubble of laughter that sprung up from your chest. Fighting the wide smile threatening to break out on your face at the faux shock he displayed with a hand to his chest and a roll of his eyes.

“Which ones?” His brown eyes glittered in the shine of his flashlight, following your movement toward your bag left atop the couch.

“I was rather fond of sour cream and cheddar.” You could practically taste the tang of the sour cream on your tongue as you made room in your pack for the pouch of knives.

“I was a salt and vinegar man, myself.”

You just pinned him with a teasing look, one eyebrow raised up in question.

“That’s just gross, Joel.”

“And there she is, the food critic I knew you were.”

“Go to sleep, mister judgement. I’ll take the first watch.” You stuck your tongue out at him, waving him away with your hands as you settled on the couch and leaned back into the dusty cushions. His chuckle was the only response as he retreated to the only room in the house, the bed springs creaking as he settled into an equally dusty mattress.

You were already back in the saddle on Lowry and moving when it happened. Joel was adjusting the saddle on his own horse and hadn’t heard the shuffle of the leaves. The tree line was just a few yards away. And a trio of infected had just breached the end of it.

“Joel! On your six!” You shouted, reaching for your shotgun slung over your back. Joel was reaching for his own laid out atop the saddle when the horse whinnied, kicking her front legs out at the infected. He reached for the reigns, quickly trying to console the amped up horse when he was knocked to the ground. Your shot missed, his horse freaking out too much and you worried for Joel on the ground.

Your own horse began to fidget, but you calmed her with soft whispers and a quick pat to her neck.

Rolling away to avoid being trampled on, one of the Infected left caught sight of him at the movement.

You were too busy leaning heavily to the left to get a good aim at the other two as they began to tear into the throat of his horse, cutting off the distressed cries of the creature. Heavy body thudding to the ground, you fired two headshots before searching for Joel. But he was blocked from your view by the downed creature.

Careening your body over the side of your own horse until you were practically hanging from the side of it with your feet secure in the stirrups, you used gravity to aid you in getting a clear view. Your middle burned with the effort as you tried to get vision of the man fighting against the Infected that had him pinned to the ground. When you did, your mouth went dry. The claws of the Infected had managed to rake down one of his cheeks, blood bright. Breathing in, you aimed and fired.

The shrieking of the figure fell silent, and its body went limp.

Grunting, Joel shoved it off of him and scrambled back away from it with a heaving chest. He looked over his shoulder toward you, his eyes nearly black from the adrenaline, his plush lips parted as he tried to get enough air in his lungs. Eyes frantically looking him over, you could see the split in his lip from the distance.

Slinging the shotgun back over your shoulder, you dismounted and rushed to his side. Your hands reached everywhere they could as you tried to sus out any more injuries. The intention to keep them to yourself short lived and fruitless. Joel was just staring at you, no words coming from him, only the sound of his panting breath as he pushed himself up on his arms.

“Are you okay? You didn’t hurt your back when you fell? Kiana didn’t step on you or kick you, did she?”

The questions flowed from you in quick succession, not giving the man a chance to answer any of them as you twisted to take a kerchief from your back pocket and began to dab at his cheek as lightly as you could. He let out a low hiss as the skin throbbed, but he let you do it anyway.

“I’m okay,” He finally croaked, sitting up completely when a few tears spilled from your lash line. One of his hands cradled your face, thumb brushing them away. “It’s okay, sweetheart, you did good.”

Through your tears, you worked at getting the blood cleared from his cheek, moving to focus on his split lip and the drops of blood that had trailed down his chin. He let you, his hand falling from your own face to your shoulder, anchoring him close. When you managed to wipe away what you could you sighed, blinking the tears from your eyes as best you could.

His eyes were so soft when you looked into them, watching. Your breath stalled for the barest of moments as you wondered if he would wear the same open expression right before a kiss. Heat flooded your face as you realized you had dug your other hand into the soft curls at the back of his head to help keep him steady and his eyes dilated at the sound. Your sore body protested as you leaned in impossibly closer, chest brushing against his.

The long travel had magnified the scent of him, cedar and sweat dizzying this close to him and it made you want to bury yourself in his arms. To burrow into him and just stay there, enjoying in the warmth and safety you felt when around him.

His eyes fluttered closed at the gentle press of your lips to the scratch on his cheek, tension leaking out of his own sore muscles at the feel. Nose brushing against his own, you were suddenly overcome with the urge to press your other hand to his chest and press him back to the ground, to straddle his thighs and show him how much he was beginning to mean to you. But that would be far too forward.

Heartbeat tittering, your eyes roved over his face, gauging his reaction to the uncharacteristic display. His face was so handsome, the trimmed scruff dusting his cheeks a mix of silver and gray complimenting the tan of his weathered skin decorated with sparse freckles, a patch vaguely resembling a heart low near his chin. And you fleetingly pressed your lips to it, unable to resist. The muscle in his jaw twitched at the pressure, but he didn’t move otherwise, eyes still closed shut.

Despite the journey from the day before and an overnight stay in an abandoned building, you still smelled faintly of the woody, floral scent. It was stronger due to the tense situation of a few moments ago, lingering in the sweat you had felt bead up along the back of your neck and the small of your back.

He seemed to breathe it in, his inhale catching in his throat when you couldn’t help the temptation of pressing your lips to where his bottom one was split in a chaste kiss, caught up in mingling of your scents and the effect he was having on you being so close.

“There,” You breathed against him, fingers clenching around the curls in your grip, surprised he hadn’t jerked away from the rather inappropriate move. His eyes remained shut, as you leaned back to look over the entirety of his face. You felt a nervous flutter of warmth low in your middle, mirroring the words he had whispered to you in your kitchen just a few days ago. “All better.”

Your body was alight with the feel of his body behind you. His chest bumping into your back on every jaunt of Lowry moving over the terrain. You hadn’t been able to look directly at him, keeping your eyes downcast in embarrassment as you had helped him up from where he had fallen. Your hands small in his as you had done so, but immediately dropping the contact once he had been back up on his feet.

It had been silent for a long pause, no words coming from either of you as he gathered what he could from the saddle of the downed horse and you adjusted your own belongings to make room. Lowry had been rather worked up, deservedly so at seeing her friend and own patrol partner taken out in such a gruesome way. The beginning of the journey back to Jackson started off on foot, you on one side of her and Joel on the other, guiding her back at her own pace.

But somewhere after the first couple of hours, you had begun to drag your feet. The adrenaline of the morning waning and leaving you utterly exhausted. That’s how you found yourself seated in the front of the saddle on your horse, Joel’s firm body behind you. His height, even while seated, allowed for every other breath to rustle the hair atop your head. The wide brimmed hat you donned while on patrol hanging from the front of the saddle so as to not bump him or obstruct his vision.

But he kept his hands to himself, save for when he gripped your hips when the horse tipped your combine gravity on the errant downslope of the route.

“Get some rest,” Joel’s words were a haze as you twisted to wave a parting at him. Safely back within the walls of the settlement and having completed the patrol write up. The loss of a horse something you were sure wouldn’t be overlooked, even in light of how it happened. You could’ve saved her, but had been too slow to find aim. But the only thing on your mind right now was a warm bath to wash away the day and then the comfort of your bed.

“You too, Joel.” You turned back to face forward, feet carrying you slowly even if the desire to be unconscious was a strong pull to pick up the pace toward your home.

“Hey, Olive?” Hesitant, the sound of your nickname was in his voice.

“Yes?” You pivoted once more, taking in the way he was looking at you. Concern in his dark eyes and softening his features. The feel of his lips sparking through you as you lingered on them. But you pushed it down, knowing it was one-sided and would always be so. He didn’t see you like that, couldn’t see you like that with all the attention he got from around town. So many other people to entertain and you were just another.

“You can always talk to me, you know, about anything. I’ll always listen to what you have to say.”

“Yeah,” The denial of you suggesting the cutting board washed over you, deflating you even more so in the late afternoon. “But I wouldn’t want everyone to think we do talk. Seemed pretty keen on hiding it from your brother the other day.”

“That- that wasn’t why I said it was my idea.” His jaw jumped, the muscle clenching and unclenching, his hands mimicking the motion at his sides. A heavy sigh deflated his own chest. “I was…embarrassed because it was the first one I made. It-it wasn’t very good.”

“Joel, everything you make is well done.” You assured even as you turned from him and walked away.

“I’m so glad you came back okay from that long patrol, Joel. We would’ve missed your amazing hands.”

Joel tried his best to tune the woman out, Marsha liked to ramble to him when he called on her to fix things in her house. She was about his age, an appropriate age. Headed the gardens and yearly plantings, helped out in the mess hall, and tried to help Tommy keep up with the holidays in order to make the town feel a little more comforted. But today, her words felt weird. Like a backhanded comment to something he intended to figure out. Because it felt like it was about you rather than just a well-meaning sentiment.

“Excuse me, ma’am?” Joel tried to keep his voice even, tempered. But he could feel tingles of anxiety come to life in his chest.

“Oh, I’m just saying, everyone was rather shocked that you got stuck with Olive for Teton. She hasn’t been on anything other than her two morning routines in, gosh, such a long time n-“ He surged up from where he had been underneath the sink. The steady beading of water from the cracked pipe measuring the tense passage of time as he stood to his full height. The wrench in his hand pressed into his stomach as he placed his hands on his hip and looked directly at the woman who had been hovering over him as he worked. She had been idly peaking potatoes on the counter beside the sink, making sure to stick close to him like she tended to do when he was in her home.

But she had fallen quiet at the direct attention, a flush visible on the tips of her ears and the swell of her cheeks.

“Did you say ‘stuck with Olive’? Because I can assure you, she’s capable enough to not be talked about that way.” His brow furrowed as his lips tugged downward in a frown, unsure where this woman got the gall to sling around talk of you like this. To him, of all people. He wasn’t completely daft, he knew the women around town fawned over him. Both the younger ones like yourself and those closer to his own age and beyond. But he ignored it, because he wasn’t here for that, his heart didn’t soften for just anyone. And the woman in front of him was bad mouthing the one it had without him even realizing.

“I just meant that- since she’s so much younger and doesn’t have as much experience as you-“

“Hold on, lemme stop you right there.” Joel held out a hand, the wrench acting as a barrier between their bodies. “Olive is more than capable of being my partner on patrol. It don’t matter what her experience is compared to my own. And I don’t like the insinuation of her not being anything other than a hardworking person who willingly puts her life on the line for this town.”

“She just- there was an incident a while ago-“

“I don’t care what happened a while ago, she’s good to me now.” Anger flared, tinging his eyes into the deep, dark tone of fresh brewed coffee. His grip around the wrench was pulling the muscles in his hand, causing an ache that was becoming far too familiar a sensation. But he kept his focus on the woman in front of him, the one who had felt like it was okay to talk about you in such a way in his company, to him.

He was always polite, always lending an ear to what the people of the town wanted to say, allowing for easy conversation most of the time, but this was something he wouldn’t allow and the tone of his voice had shifted. It was assertive and left no room for interpretation that he didn’t share the sentiment of the woman in front of him. And then he thought back to the other night before the route in question.

Tommy had been consoling you, telling you to ignore the things people were saying about you, the rumors that had cropped up once your name had been added next to his on the assignment sheet. This woman had apparently been the cause of your tears, the fuel to your already present insecurities flaring and making you close in on yourself. This woman had taken the teasing jokes, sweet laughter, soft smiles, and easy-going conversation typical of time spent with you and stolen it from him. Tainted the air so badly that you had been decidedly not yourself on the last patrol and so wound up that you had snapped at him.

“She’s done nothing to deserve the way you’re speaking about her, and I would like you to apologize.”

“Joel, I- I’m sorry. I didn’t think it would upset you.” Her eyes shifted frantically over his face, realizing that she had offended him with her casual words. “I was saying that-“

“Not to me, to her.” He cut off her words with rough ones of his own. Past the point of caring about being polite and heeding everything the town needed his help with at the moment. All he cared about right now was you, and how you had been singled out as the most recent subject of town gossip. He tried to tamp it and he had gotten fairly good at keeping his frustrations to himself. Ellie being the recipient when she was particularly stubborn and bull headed, but she got that from him too. From traveling with him for as long as it had taken them, their entire journey now allowing for them to explore the softer and kinder parts of themselves within the safety of the settlement.

But right now? Joel felt like he was back outside of them, the need to protect and eradicate any perceived threat strong. Thrumming in him as he felt like what was his was being singled out and targeted.

“But-“

“We clear?”

Marsha squeaked out an affirmative, her hands wringing around each other over her middle. Without a glance toward the open cupboards beneath the sink, Joel gathered his toolbox laid open beside them and his flashlight.

“Need a new pipe, nothing else I can do at the moment. Tommy will be by before nightfall with a replacement.”

He didn’t bid her goodbye as he walked through the front of her house and out the front door. Leaving the shell-shocked woman standing in her kitchen with her heart beating rapidly in her chest at his rather uncharacteristic display of anger.

previous chapter || next chapter

dividers by the lovely @saradika-graphics and @cafekitsune

taglist: @merz-8 @morning-star-joy @joelsgreys @orcasoul @sawymredfox @sabmat @dreamingofleon @keylimebeag @pascalpvnk @picassopedro @tuquoquebrute @alejaa-a @jessthebaker @littlemisspascal @joeloverture @joelscruff @swiftispunk @tightjeansjavi @undercoverpena @idontknowyou-12345 @corazondebeskar @honeyedmiller @novas-dreamworld @slugz-writes-shit @fluff-lover @hiroikegawa @dugiioh @persephone-girl @furiousmushroom @communism-bitches @formulafun @copperhalfcent @lizlil @hiddenbabynyc

#dev writes #fic: by the grit of sandpaper #tlou #tlou fanfic #tlou fanfiction #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #joel miller #jackson! joel miller #joel miller series #joel miller smut #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller fanfic #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #carpenter joel miller #artisan joel miller #woodworking joel miller #angst #pining #mutual pining #hurt and comfort #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fandom #ao3 #archive of our own

[sturniololoco]

i LOVEDDD the pregnancy one!! can you do more like that like maybe when she has the baby and how they help her?

Pregnant pt 2

Sturniolo Little Sister (SLS) x The Sturniolo Triplets

Warnings: baby spit up, tiredness, cuteness overload, etc.?

Note: This is so perfect bc I'm ab to get another little sibling tomorrow! (Don't mind the age gap lol)

Chris's POV

Why does giving birth to a child take so damn long?

SLS/N was finally giving birth to her little girl today, so Matt, Nick, and I were sitting in the waiting room, bouncing our legs and biting our nails, waiting.

Soon, a nurse came out into the room, asking for the Sturniolo family. The three of us immediately stood and followed her to a room.

"Which one of you is the husband?" the nurse asked, making small talk as we walked down the hallways.

all of our faces burned bright red at her question.

"O-Oh, no! She's our sister!" I said, giving a light laugh along with my brothers.

She stopped in front of a room and opened the door. Putting a finger to her lips, she motioned us inside, then left us there, closing the door again behind her.

We nervously walked around the corner to see SLS/N sitting up against the pillows of her hospital bed, holding a freshly bathed baby girl.

We smiled at her, quietly coming next to her and giving her a side hug.

"Hey, kiddo. How ya feelin'?" I asked my little sister, kissing her on top of her head. I knew it hurt her, but she was tough. She was gonna love this kid with her whole heart.

"I'm doing pretty good actually." She said. She had the biggest of smiles on her face, and it never stopped shining.

"You guys wanna meet Charleigh?" She asked motioning to the baby in her arms. We all smiled, leaning down to say hello.

"Hello, little Charleigh! It's your favorite, Uncle Chris!" I said, rubbing my finger over her soft smooth hand. I internally cringed at my baby voice, but at this point, I didn't even care.

SLS/N giggled, lifting her up to get me a better look at her face.

"Here, why don't you hold her." She asked, getting up out of bed gently so as not to wake her sleeping baby.

"I-Uh...Ok," I said.

I was kind of scared to hold her.

What if I drop her? What if she wakes up? What if she cries? What if-

My thoughts were cut off by SLS/N placing her in my arms, and showing me how to hold her. She sat me down on the couch and put a pillow under my arm.

Charleigh only moved a little, but then went right back to sleep. I let out a nervous breath I had been holding in, relieved as I realized that this was not as scary as I thought.

"She's so perfect," I say, looking down at her and smiling.

"Now that's a good picture!" Nick says, holding up his phone to snap a shot.

-

Matt's POV

The next day, SLS/N and the baby were discharged from the hospital and ready to get home.

SLS/N was carrying the baby in her car seat, the one that took Chris and me 2 and a half hours to get the base in the car.

She put Charleigh into the car and then climbed in next to her, Nick in the way back, Chris in the front next to me.

Then It hit me.

I'm driving a newborn baby. What if we crash? What if I run off a bridge? what if-

"Matt? You okay?" I hear SLS/N ask me.

"I-Uh...No. what if something goes wrong? It'll be all my fault! And then-" I start rambling, my anxiety flooding through my veins.

"Hey, hey. Listen to me. I trust you more than anyone in the world to drive my baby and me home. If I didn't, then I wouldn't put her in the car. But you're the only person I would want to drive in this situation, okay?"

Her words instantly calmed me. I began to feel braver, happy that she felt like she could put so much trust in me. I back out of the parking lot and make our way home.

-

Nick's POV

We pull into the driveway and my sister gets the baby out of the car. she then walks to the back to get her stuff.

But I beat her to it.

"Don't be silly SLS/N! You just had a fucking baby, go sit down and I'll get the stuff." I order her.

I really want to help my sister as much as I can, she's already been through so much. I want to support her through all her decisions, showing her that I love and support her.

"Aw, thanks, Nick!" She says, walking into the house after Matt, who had just unlocked the door.

I grab her and the baby's bags, then walk into the house after her.

-

"Hey Sis, I made you a surprise!" I say to my sister, walking into the living room with a plate behind my back.

She had just gotten Charleigh asleep in Matt's room since it was the closest to the living room. She was now lounging on the couch with Matt and Chris.

She sits up and claps her hands, closing her eyes. I place the plate in front of her.

"Oh fuck yeah!" she says, digging into the quesidllia I made her. I laugh as she sighs in delight. I have no ide why she even likes these that much, I can't cook worth a shit.

as she sets her plate down on the table, she scoots closer to the three of us, wrapping her arms around our necks in a big group hug.

"I love you guys," She says, squeezing us tight.

Just as I was about to respond, I heard a cry on the baby monitor.

"I'll get her!" Chris shouts, jumping up to retrieve our new favorite niece.

@idkwhosnyla @babypat08 @eyelessdemon00 @christopherowensturniolo @sturnsxx @freshloveforthefit @matty443355 @sleepysturnss @emeraldgreenbeautiesstu @sunsetsturniolos @hoesturniolo @x4nd3rsukz @chr1sgirl4life @sstvrnioloo @sturns-posts @chrisstopherfilmed @kylasrealityx @zoeysturnioloooooo @comet235 @islaasblog @sturnioloblogs @defnotayonna @mattsleftnipple03 @thematthewlover @mattsaq

#nick sturniolo #sturniolo imagine #sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #nicolas sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #pregnancy #pregnant #pregnant reader

[alienssstufff]

I wouldn't consider myself a analysist, because I'm not big brained nor have good enough memory for that; but like (and this may be my bias speaking) double life changed life!Pearl so much in the way it just amplified her already existing traits. She's very sheep in a wolf's clothing to me especially after dl made her even more disenchanted with the inherent isolation of later life sessions (what w/ being forced into that by day one of dl, immediately distrusted at a level only just barely below reds themselves). Like I could be getting the characterazation completely wrong, as I don't remember the seasons very well, but Pearl's playstyle very much feels like she's just capitalizing on her "hidden" chaos, being the kindest ally but also down to be unhinged when the moment calls for it, losing that kindness so fast in double life from being rejected and never getting it back nearly as strong as before. I feel like life!Pearl has gotten so use to the games and Watcher schennagins at this point that she just leans hard into the premise and her innate chaos <2 (can you tell she's my favourite character lol /silly)

Post-DL!Pearl I love her especially! Do I think she’s even more chaotic than she was in DL? No but for sure DL changed her like Whwhwh permanently she’s my fave winner bc of how prevalent that development is, to make those choices on her terms - not bc the game tells her to. Her POVs are very refreshing bc -in compare to everyone else- she’s so relaxed (bc she’s won before), and she makes it clear she’s not here to win (she already has)- she wants to have fun and uplift her friends :]

Her around ppl that aren’t her teammates is… a wildcard- but the trust in her allies is unshakeable. she reminds me of a mentor figure to them she wants what’s best for the team…. I don’t like the way ppl have been undermining the Mounders this season bc they aren’t attached at the hip 24/7, to Pearl they mean a lot to her SHE chose them and vice versa. so much that they’ll mutually go do things behind the other’s back that would help them survive in the long run and she trusts them with her LIFE. This especially between Pearl and Bdubs and their allyship makes me so delirious evrrytime she brings him up I’m getting Nosy Neighbours deja vu :[

“They’re Mounders (Joel and Bdubs), they would never betray me like that.” -Pearl ep6

“You can’t just TAKE him (Bdubs), he’s a Mounder.” -Pearl ep5 in the building competition

[the whole thing with Joel and Bdubs wasting their yellow-life guesses for Pearl ep6]

“I’m not here to win. I here for Bdubs to win.” -Pearl ep6

“I can’t. I can’t… she’s (Pearl) my biggest cheerleader. I can’t do that do her.” -Bdubs ep6

That part in SL Session 6 when Pearl, her dogs, and Bdubs hid in the skeleton farm away from the Wither/Warden fight, and when a red name (Martyn) found them- I wonder if she was ever scared the game would take Bdubs too like it did to BigB last season… I mean it already took Mumbo.

#ask stufff #stufff rambles #pearlescentmoon #bdubs #secret life spoilers #sorry. word vomit from last session and the whole slew of secret live tweeting #id say also that postDL Pearl and Grian are similar in regards to how they play (for fun) #the big difference is that clearly one is more competitive than the other #thus is represented much differently as much as I wish that fun-side of grian should be brought up more

[cjrights]

movie and a sweet treat ~ ellie williams

summary: you’re so pretty when you cry, ellie just can’t get enough. pairing: dom!ellie williams x sub!afab reader warnings: 18+!!(mdni) oneshot!! no y/n bc I hate that, fluff (I guess) at first and then it turns to smut 😛 ellie’s a little weird… dacryphilia 😟😟 fingering (r receiving) cunnilingus (r receiving) an: definitely not proofread ;) im aware i switched povs and that shit like twelve times but it’s whatever 💔💔 GUYS PLS IM A FEEN but also give me tips i have no idea how to do this thang word count: 1.1k

*sniff*

tears were starting to prick your eyes as you reached into the popcorn bucket, held by your girlfriend, ellie. it’s not like you didn’t cry in front of her, but the situation was a little embarrassing.

you were both sitting in your room, watching all the bright places. ellie knew how much this movie made you cry, and maybe that’s why she picked it to watch. again. for some reason when you cried, it always made ellie press her thighs together. she didn’t know if it was something wrong with her, but it made her want to climb on top of you and forget all about the movie. you stifled sobs as you watched the movie. it really did get you every time. i mean, how could it not? you couldn’t imagine loosing ellie the way violet lost finch. whenever you would imagine…it was practically a phone call to ellie of you sobbing telling her how much you loved her, and how much you appreciated she was in your life.

ellie looked over at you as the first tear ran down your cheek. *sniff* fuck. she thought as she dug her nails into her hand, which was holding the popcorn bucket. you placed your head onto her shoulder and sighed loudly, a tear falling onto ellie’s white wife beater. she could see the indent of the tear on her shirt and so she shut her eyes tightly. “ellie?” you practically whimpered, making her internally moan. ellie mustered up the courage to say “hm? what’s wrong baby?” you turn your head so that your forehead is completely resting on her shoulder. “why do you choose this movie every time it’s your pick? it makes me sob every time.” you were whining, but you didn’t care. ellie used two fingers to place hair that was falling out of place behind your ear. “you’re so pretty when you cry. ‘can’t help it.” you groan and punch her arm slightly, which makes her chuckle. she placed a soft kiss on your head, and turns back to the tv, trying to ignore the wetness pooling in her boxers.

after about 30 minutes and 2 of her bathroom breaks, ellie couldn’t take it anymore. she placed a hand on your thigh, running it along your skin. you look up at ellie, with the most innocent look in your eyes, and ellie couldn’t deny the way she though about ruining that look. she wanted you to have those fucked out, glazed over eyes. she inched her fingers closer to the hem of your flowy shorts, which you always *happened* to wear when you and ellie hung out. you didn’t seem to have noticed this action, too focused on the movie. ellie ran her fingers along the hem until they dipped in and ran along the edge of your lace panties, which you had worn that day, just for ellie.

you gasped shallowly, and looked at ellie. “ellie… what are you doing?” ellie wasn’t even looking at you, but still looking at the movie. “hm? what do you mean? im watching this movie with you, silly.” you looked at her with pleading eyes, (which she couldn’t see) “baby… my parents are downstairs. we can’t.” your cheeks were still stained by tears when ellie finally looked at you. she bit her bottom lip and brought her fingers to trace over your clothed cunt. you whimper and cover your mouth. ellie chuckles when she feels the wet spot that matches hers, if not bigger. “what’s got you all worked up baby?” she continues tracing over your cunt and bites her lip again. you shake you head and shut your eyes. she was so close to where you needed her. so so close. she removed her hand and you moaned at the loss of contact. “nonono please!” you reached for her hand to place back on you, but she locked her arms on her lap. “tell me. i want hear you say what���s got you so wet.” you bit your lip and flushed bright red. “um.” you looked down. “you.” you practically whispered. “sorry, what was that?” ellie cocked her eyebrow. you groaned, frustrated. “you, okay?! please touch me again. i need it.”

this seemed to satisfy ellie for the time being, so she reached for the top of your shorts and looked at you, asking for permission to remove them. you nodded your head and helped her take them off. the gust of cold air that hit your wet folds made you throw your head back. you stayed on the couch and ellie situated herself on the ground in between your thighs. ellie sucked in a breath as she stared at what was in front of her. “such a pretty pussy…” she muttered. you weren’t even sure if she was talking to you, or to your cunt. maybe both? ellie placed soft kisses on your plush thighs, and you whimpered audibly. ellie placed a hand over your mouth, startling you. “we don’t want your parents to hear… do we?” ellie smirked and placed her lips onto your clit, swirling her tongue on the bundle of nerves. you yelped and covered your mouth, immediately overtaken by the pleasure. she detached her lips, a string of spit connecting her lips and your clit. she licked up your folds and you swore you saw jesus himself. “please ellie. stop teasing me.” she chuckled. “so needy aren’t we?” she starts to eat you out like she’s on death row and it’s her last meal. you are covering your mouth with your forearm now, and biting it to stay quiet. ellie sees the way your hole is clenching around nothing and decides to fix that. she places her middle finger inside you and it practically slides in because of how wet you are. your eyes roll to the back of your head as she adds another finger. “oh my god.” you whisper when she adds her tongue back along with her fingers. a familiar knot starts to tie in your stomach. you’re practically drawing blood with how hard you’re biting your arm, but you would rather that than your parents come up and hear the rather sinful noises you and ellie are creating, or god forbid see it.

“e-ellie. im gonna-.” “i know let it go. cum all over my fingers baby. make a big mess all over this couch” you throw your head back and she finger fucks you through your orgasm. she pulls her fingers out and licks them clean. you suddenly find yourself embarrassed. “ellie i cant believe we did that while my parents are literally below us.” you both laugh. “so…” ellie starts. “should we finish our movie?”

a/n: first time writing smut, lowkey sucks but lmk what y’all think!! <33

#ellie tlou #ellie williams #girlfriend ellie #smut #fluff #ellie tlou 2 #ellie x reader #ellie x you #no y/n

[kerubimcrepin]

Liveblog - Dofus, livre 1 : Julith [PART 4]

"BOUBOL"

Besides the fact that I think Joris is threatened by Lilotte's presence, I think Lilotte is a bit jealous of Joris's position in life. He's just like her... but luckier. He has a father he has a very close relationship with, yet he's judging her from his own, somewhat privileged position.

I know this scene is probably just about showing that Joris has speed and strength atypical for normal children. I just like reading into things.

Just looking at this makes me feel suicidal. You know what? Fuck this. I am stealing this translation. I remember someone else doing one.

I can't translate the second page because it's too much. Just too much.

Babygirl your haunted stares have bewitched me.

This still says "BOUBOL", but it now also seems to say "SUPG SORDES". Unless I'm stupid. It's kinda hard to understand because some letters are atypical.

Joris 320 years later when he finds one of his hand written self-insert fanfics of being Khan's coolest most beloved right-hand arm man woman silly rabbit and getting a single kiss on the forehead (with roses straight from Shoujo Manga drawn on that page of the manuscript): I am going to kill mys——

I think that Joris is at the age where Kerubim could fucking tell him a single thing. Like literally any single thing to give him context.

"Something dangerous is going on, the world needs saving! And to save it, I have to leave, and you have to guard the store." or "Someone DIED. (a lie, but the situation is just as grave, so whatever)"

But no, he just leaves, without giving Joris a single idea of how serious the situation is, despite it literally concerning him and his safety. The Kerubim Crepin AAA+ parenting.

From Joris's POV, it's not like something urgent came up, something dangerous, — it's that Kerubim "forgor :3" again. As he always does. He even calls it an errand. Who the fuck calls a dangerous situation an errand? Kerubim "dangerously addicted to lying to my son about how bad things are" Crepin, that's who.

The way he starts out angry and just ends in a ":(" is just... heartbreaking, man.

He tries to appeal to his maturity and desire to please, but from Joris's POV, he's been doing a lot of favours for Kerubim his whole life. And in response, this guy can't even go and have fun with him at the stadium. Two times now, actually. It's almost like he just promises him things so he'll shut up, and never goes through on purpose.

We know it's not like that for Kerubim, but I understand why Joris reacts the way he does.

Very cute ad.

Dofus livre 2 when Simone comes into the room to beat everyone who wronged her little nephew to death:

(Joris felt awkward about going to her and Julie with the whole "everyone is dead" issue for the entirety of livre 1 bc of their Out-of-Town Octopus Barbecue plans)

#ro liveblogs dofus #dofus #wakfu #krosmoz #dofusmovie #joris jurgen #Youtube

[abbysgoodgirl]

school regression

for this the name is gonna be evelyn bc that’s my name and this is a scenario that happened to me last year w my gf/cg :) this is also my first billie chapter!!!!!!

warnings: swearing n thats abt it tbh 😭

evelyns pov: 

“here” i mumble when the teacher reads out my name for attendance it was 3rd period and i was struggling, i needed to regress i haven’t in a while but i couldn’t do it in school. 

30 minutes had passed and i was slipping fuck. “c-can i go to the toilet pweas?” i stuttered hoping no one noticed my speech slip up, “yes okay evelyn 5 minutes” miss hoff my teacher (she was my actual teacher at this time lmao) said.

i grabbed my bag sprinting down the corridor to the bathroom going into a stall locking it and sitting down curling into a ball tears streaming down my face, i reach into my bag and grab out my phone and dial billies number.

i know she will reply because she has basketball practice, “m-mama?” i cry into the phone. “evelyn? oh baby mamas here shh” billies voice comes through the phone “mama want you” i cry out into the phone 

“i know sweetie i know i’m coming to get you now okay? tell mama where you are” i hear shuffling from the other line indicating billie getting her stuff ready “bathroom” i whine just wanting you. “okay bug mamas coming” billie hangs up the phone before i could respond i sobbed harder and louder not being able to hear your voice anymore.

billies pov: 

after i hung up the phone i immediately went to my coach and explained i needed to go which luckily he let me i grabbed my gym and school bag before running out of there checking all the bathrooms.

“evelyn baby?” i searched the bathrooms annoyingly she never specified which one but it’s okay.

“mama!” i hear evelyn cry out i quickly run to that stall and go to open it but the door is locked. shit. 

“hey bug mamas here i need you to open the door okay?” i was panicking slightly trying not to show it i hear the lock click open and push open the door locking it behind me.

“oh baby” i sigh out at her state, curled into a ball, tears and snot running down her face, shaking. 

“mama” evelyn whines making grabby hands to me audibly sobbing into my chest as i pick her up sitting down on the bathroom floor with her in my lap.

“mama needs you to calm down bug” i coo needing you to slow your breathing before this turns into a bigger panic attack and i need to get you out of here.

evelyns pov: 

i take a deep breath as mama told me to but i ended up coughing and spluttering “oh sweetie” billie laughed softly holding me close rocking me back and forth shushing me gently.

“we gotta get you home bug hm?” she cooed i nodded sniffling, “can you tell mama how old you are my love?” billie says, i hold up 2 fingers “okay babe” she pays my bum before getting up with me still in her arms, i squeal holding onto your basketball jersey giggling.

“you silly girl” billie laughs grabbing our bags and unlocking the stall door, i whined “yeah bug?” billie looks down at me “peoples gonna see” i whine tears filling my eyes again.

“oh baby okay i’ll put you down then you can hold my hand yeah?” she puts me down putting my backpack on my back taking my hand and guiding me to the office.

“she’s not feeling well i need to take her home” i vaguely hear billie talking to the front office i’m too busy playing with her basketball key ring on her bag, i whine quietly to billie just wanting to go home and cuddle “patience bug” i see her look down and give me a warning look.

i feel billie take my hand and lead me out the school and to her car, dragon. 

she buckles me in before getting in the drivers side handing me my water bottle and paci as she always carries a spare i immediately take the paci shoving it in my mouth hearing billie chuckle starting the car.

i must of falling asleep because the next thing i know i was being lifted into billies arms finneas getting our bags out the car “hi baby” billie smiles down at me seeing i’m awake, i whine and point to finneas i don’t see him often so when i do it’s the best i make grabby hands his way hearing them both laugh as finneas takes me into his arms “hey eve’s you okay?” finneas exclaims also using his nickname for me bouncing me slightly in his arms.

“ ‘m okay!” i throw my arms up excitedly giggling, “bug calm down” i hear billie say chuckling getting my bag out the car hers already inside “hey she’s okay mamas mean huh?” finneas teases tickling me slightly “yeah!” i giggle uncontrollably “come on you two” billie rolls her eyes walking inside i pout thinking i upset her my 2 year old mindset not understanding i whine trying to get out of finneas’s hold “okay hey i’m putting you down your okay” finneas puts me down confused on the sudden mood change.

i run inside past billie and her parents and into her room shutting the door jumping on billies bed.

billies pov: 

“finneas what did you do?” i look at him after you ran past not even greeting my mom you 2nd favourite person after me of course.

“nothing!” finneas defends, i sigh rolling my eyes again before making my way upstairs to my room “baby?” i knock not getting a reply “it’s mama” i add still no reply, i open the door walking in seeing you face down on my bed.

i chuckle sitting down next to you, “oh bug what’s wrong?” i stoke the back of your head “yous m-mad at me” evelyn says in the most heartbreaking voice.

“oh baby no you didn’t upset me hey come here” i pull her onto my lap holding her close. “your okay bug mamas got you shh” i rock her back and forth as her breathing evens out and she falls asleep “i love you.”

this is my first age regression chapter which is based off what happened to me n my cg/gf i don’t rlly like this bc i don’t feel like i got it right?? idk if that makes sense but leave requests!!! 🫶🏻🎀

#꒱ೃ ✦ ꒰ evelyn writes! ꒱ೃ ✦ #billie eilish x reader #age regression #age regressor #billie eilish #billie eilish x y/n

[altschmerzes]

THE 13 BOOKS I READ IN 2023 IN ORDER FROM BEST TO WORST + THE PROTAGONIST'S SUPERLATIVE. PART 1.

NOTE: this ranking is entirely based on how much i enjoyed the thing and not necessarily on anything quantifiable or concrete. except for 1 and 12 those are just i think empirically true. also, this got very very hard between 2-8 and i enjoyed everything above 10 like, immensely. that said:

1. The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle. fucking gorgeous book. the writing was incredible, it made me feel like i needed to write right now right now right now or i was going to die and also why would i ever write again when i didn't write this. made me REEL several times and need to put it down and process it. i need to read it again and again. so much in there about the structure of story and fairytales and roles within a story and just. augh. man. i have at least a thousand words worth of highlights of quotes that make me completely insane. i want to write a dissertation on the interactions of amalthea and lír.

Protagonist: Amalthea/The Unicorn. Best Gender Moments And Unmatched Aro Vibes.

2. Blackcurrant Fool by Victoria Goddard. someone designed these books in a lab just to kill specifically me. i'm so thrilled i'm like, mad about it. this is book four in the series and included some MASSIVELY fun payoffs for some background references and foreshadowing that had been building for a while. some of my favourite tropes on this here earth are contained in this book and they make me insane in their execution. beloved. i kept having to put my face in my hands and shriek. like. literally. i liveblogged the last like ~30% of the book to several people. in detail.

Protagonist: Jemis Greenwing. Most Likely To Respond To A Given Situation With Both The Most Sincerely Heartfelt And Most Dramatic Option Possible And Then Insist That This Was The Obvious And Logical Thing To Do.

3. Bee Sting Cake by Victoria Goddard. some really excellent introductions to characters and concepts in here. did a good job as the second book in the series to continue keeping things interesting while maintaining and expanding on what was good about the first one, introducing new elements and making them play well with the established dynamics and situation. some really fun exploration of 'what if your two favourite people met each other and how would that go'. some delightful stuff about bees also which gets me in my feelings and the pov character has a good cry a couple times which he damn well deserves at this point.

Protagonist: (since there are two, i'm alternating for this series' superlatives) Peregrine Dart. Best At Being Totally And Completely Fine (Lying).

4. Stargazy Pie by Victoria Goddard. YES. I LIKED THESE BOOKS A LOT OKAY. THREE OF THEM IN A ROW. WHAT OF IT. very fun introduction to a series, it was a great first book. it delivered its worldbuilding in my favourite way for a fantasy series to do so, which is to just sort of drop me right in and explain as we go in a naturalistic kind of way. it meant i had to accept i just didn't know what was going on several times but that was fine. excellent combo of silly and serious and the characters are just. so charming and i'm so so fond of them. also i love a really stuffy strict distant society. bc then i'm like OHO TIME TO BREAK THESE RULES!!!

Protagonist: Jemis Greenwing. Most Likely To Have Everything Happen To Him So Much And All At Once.

5. By Force Alone by Lavie Tidhar. this book would probably have been ranked higher if it weren't for all the Someone's Got Their Dick Out. which is fine, go for it, but it felt like all the like. someone is getting their guts stabbed out and someone else is fuckin every other page is mostly a thematic thing that is supposed to drive home how gritty and grimy the narrative is. which y'know. not my bag. i like a gritty and grimy narrative but dude we know. that said it was extremely fun except for that, and i liked the way the characters were described a lot. they were not good people and it was deliberate and compelling. it was a lot to process all at once and i wish i'd slowed down with it - the last fourth of the book particularly hit me like a train. special shoutout to everything this book did with pelinore and the questing beast.

Protagonist: Arthur Pendragon. Most Doomed By The Narrative.

#long post #book club with gav #gav gab

[chisutofu]

**link click spoilers ahead**

it's just funny how after season 2 wrapped up, both opening soundtracks finally make perfect fucking sense in both LG & CXS's pov

dive back in time

LG's pov: "time no longer flew like it was when the flash froze everything before. without you, i don't know if I could take this road" (we all know that LG painstakingly went back in time over and over again in hopes to create a timeline where CXS does'nt d*e. we don't know how many times he has done this but for him it doesn't even matter anymore bc he can't see a world without CXS in it)

CXS's pov: "every minute that I dialed back in time, every single existence rewinds, something secretive hidden inside your mind" (CXS to his seemingly rational partner. yes, he trusts him fully but maybe deep down there's a nagging feeling that there's something about LG he just couldn't figure out---and now we know why)

vortex (has both CXS & LG's pov but mainly LG's)

CXS: "where do we end up when we save the world, truth in the shadows so brightened in gold. place our fate into the ones aren't in control" (CXS' moral dilemma every single time he goes back to the past but really can't change anything no matter how bad it is bc this is the number one rule they've established w/ LG)

LG: "i guess that there was never such a thing like everything's meant to be. but i'mma win this silly game, until then I will never leave" (LG's evident determination to keep trying and gambling until he can win CXS's life back in the game of fate)

LG: "wasn't it hard to follow? i'd do it again tomorrow. it drag me down and drag me down. maybe we'll never leave" (LG knows he is a hypocrite and the guilt was probably eating away at him for the longest time, but at this point he is way past wrestling with his morality that it is no longer a question of how he saves cxs but "when"...in which timeline...and he will keep trying until then)

CXS: "i've held promises unbroken, even when the night has fallen" (referring to all the times he kept LG's reminder to try not to change the past no matter what happens and no matter how fcked up it gets. there may be times when he gets impulsive and tries to save everyone but in the end he know he has to accept whatever may come)

LG: "shattered mirrors our reflection, should you keep the light on reason" (referring to himself. he basically lost his mind when he loses CXS the first time that it doesn't even matter if he keeps on gambling away the fate of everyone else. what only matters to him is that he can get to an ending where he saves CXS)

idk if i am reaching but this is just me and my mental gymnastics after s2. i rest my case

#ok this turned out longer than expected #sorry i just had to let this out lol #s2 was a fucking rollercoaster ride #link click spoilers #shiguang daili ren #sgdlr spoilers #shiguang dailiren spoilers #dive back in time #vortex #shiguang

[allamericanb-tch]

crimson rivers thoughts (9)

@tastetherainbow290 long (ish) one today

chapter 17

author says they’re excited for this chapter… should i be scared

yeah. i’m scared.

SYBILL!!!!!! AND LILY!!!!!!!! AHHHH

dumbledore mention

omg i love sybill and lily

im obsessed with lily actually

are they like district 13 or like what is this. is dumbledore president coin

poppy!!!! ok i am liking this chapter a lot

remus sacrificed himself for lily ❤️‍🩹

oh. lily thinks remus is dead. and remus thinks lily is dead?! remu and lily reunion when

i gasped

sirius pov ok

frank mention!!

evan 💔

james and reg ☹️ ugh i just feel so bad for everyone

dorcas!!!!

molly!!! 

rip fab and gid 💔

oh no molly doesn’t know

dorcas what are you doing you have to tell her

ok she’s telling her but did molly have to strangle her 😭

order mention!!

sirius pov

pandora my love <3

james talking to sirius omg i’m going to cry

regulus jump scare

“I’m just saying, maybe you'd appreciate it if I put them down yours instead” JAMES

wolfstar eeeeee

me trying to contain my happiness bc i’m in a silent classroom

oh no now it’s getting sad

oh yeah. i forgot remus has to stay here.

AHHHH FINALLY they’re kissing

WHY IS THE FIRE ALARM GOING OFF RIGHT NOW READ THE ROOM NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR A FIRE DRILL

“if you like you could do it again” smooth, sirius.

and they’re doing it again

“is it too soon to be sure i love you” i have goosebumps rn

ok this was a good chapter

chapter 18

remus pov!!

mary mention!!!! i hope we see her in this i love mary so much

SIRIUS LICKED JAMES 😭😭 yeah he would.

eeeee they’re kissing again

remus being sirius’ first lover 😯

and they’re kissing again

PANDORA NO 😭

ugh i love her so much

james pov again!!! this means the game which means sadness but JEGULUS

“Oh, look at that convenient cave over there,” yeah james that’ll work

unrelated but my neck hurts really bad rn

james only surviving for regulus ugh. i love them. 

james being a hopeless romantic

“if you tell me what the mitochondria is, I'm not sure I'll be able to restrain myself” BAHA JAMES

regulus writing about james in his journals he is so me

he burned them?! he really is just like me. 

james being regulus’ first crush ahhhhh

“you made me feel” AHHHHHHH

not regulus almost killing peter and then just LEAVING

reg pov!!

regulus being…. silly

hmmm maybe these thoughts you’re having about james mean something? did you ever consider that?

not regulus thinking james ABANDONED him sweetie no james would NEVER

chapter 19

JAMES!!!

did i just predict that

regulus you do trust james don’t lie

ugh

"I'll kill them if they try it. I'll kill them all before they ever got a chance to lay a hand on you." REGGIEEEEE AHHHHH

vanity!!!

yeah. how are the rest of them gonna die. like. aghhhh i cant think about this now

“at least no one is calling him lover boy” nooo don’t think about evan

ant juice 😭 poor vanity

oh no the fires. this is just like what happened to rue.

oh no. they’re all going to die. ahhhhhh

peter is doing it 💔

LITTLE LOVE BLANKET IM CRYING

vanity is so cute im not ready to lose her

confession time (5) ive had to pee so bad for the last like 2 hours but i’ve just been reading this and i don’t want to get up 

vanity and hodge unexpected duo

vanity is so me rn

her asking james about kissing 😭

james “love isn’t even that great” potter, everyone.

i love that the harry potter lingo is used in this. like hallow, auror, horcrux. it just is so silly

vanity PLEASE do not die. i am literally begging you do not die right now.

vanity naming the hornet 😭

IRENE AND PETER 😭 jump scare but honestly good for her

oh poor james

him blatantly lying about him and reg i just know sirius knows

i live for jealous regulus

irene is an ICON i am not ready to lose her

i feel like vanity is going to try to smuggle vespa and then someone is going to die because of it

regulus calling james the sun. even as a joke im giggling rn 

ahhh kiss kiss kiss

nooo they’re leaving

should i read another chapter??

#crimson rivers

[lumityfication]

ranking my favorite percabeth scenes (in pjo only not hoo) because i need to get this off my chest

(disclaimers that this is def pretty percy centric but that’s bc pjo is from his pov, i haven’t reread hoo recently enough!! and ik the first scene im mentioning is also very popular but i feel like we can always be talking about it more. this is my ramble i can do what i want)

1. for me my favorite scene in any rick riordan book will be when annabeth takes the knife for percy in TLO and then when they’re on the rooftop afterwards. she’s literally his achilles heel. he didn’t tell her where his weak spot is but she took the knife anyway. Get back no one touches her. him letting her feel the spot on his back. You’re cute when you’re worried your eyebrows get all scrunched up. sorry i’m crazy

2. when they got paired up for war games in BOTL and percy said “nice” and annabeth just said “your armor’s crooked” and fixed his straps. I think about it so often

3. annabeth sitting with percy at the poseidon table in BOTL. She was sitting next to me. i mean Right next to me. him saying he liked the fact that she broke the rules to sit w him. the other campers looking….. they’re besties your honor

4. when they’re doing the cabin inspections in TLO and annabeth is cleaning up her stuff in the athena cabin and she’s like This whole thing with beckendorf and silena makes you think about what’s important. about losing people that are important and percy short circuiting and thinking abt how he could only focus on the earrings she was wearing. i hold them in my hands

5. percy’s panic when he thought annabeth was going to go with the hunters of artemis. he literally just got her back he was so scared that he’d lose her for real this time … the way he stutters makes me spin in a circle really fast like i just love the ttc angst pushing them into realizing what they truly mean to each other

6. underrated SOM moment is after scylla and charybdis when it’s just percy and annabeth in a little lifeboat before arriving at circe’s island, and when percy snaps at annabeth and she apologizes hes like i can’t resent her we’ve been through so much together there’s no point in holding a grudge…. my babies!!! (SOM percabeth is just too underrated like to me it’s when they really start to understand each other, what makes them tick, what the other has gone through, it puts them on the same page which sets up their dynamic in the rest of the series)

7. when annabeth is passed out in SOM and they have the fleece on her and percy whispers “you’re a genius” to her because he promised to tell her that if they made it out alive 😭😭

8. percabeth in the attic in TLO getting the great prophecy and reminiscing and then locking eyes and percy remembering another time they were alone together when annabeth kissed him in mt st helens. crazy scene it’s CRAZY

9. annabeth’s reaction when percy shows up back at camp after being at calypsos island. he was the bravest person i’d ever known… he’s…. HES RIGHT THERE!! is just SO ICONIC and her hugging him so fiercely :(((( he literally crashes his own funeral and annabeth being mad at him but also clearly incredibly relieved makes my heart ache even if it’s silly. such a tragedy that we don’t get annabeths pov in pjo because i would have loved to know how she was feeling in the like two weeks where she thought percy was gone

and then there’s obvious ones like the underwater kiss, “a kiss for good luck it’s kind of a tradition right”, mt st helens, aphrodite looking like annabeth, giving up immortality, and pretty much everything percabeth in TLT i feel like is discussed so much too bc of the show lmao

anyways girls when they reread pjo and notice even more little percabeth moments every time they read it 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫🤯🤯🤯😭😭😭😭😭😭

#sorry if i clog up the tags w these rambles but if anyone else feels as insane as i do abt these moments i want to be discussing it #percy jackson #percabeth #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo #annabeth chase

[dual-fantasy]

duncan is simultaneously the funniest fucking guy and super tragic to me. i think hes The Worst Ever because its a way of acting out against his dad. funniest shit ever and devastating. Everything about duncney as a whole leaves me in hysterics and also clutching my chest crying punching holes into the walls. he is killer phoebe bridgers to me. can the killer in him tame the fire in (various romantic partners he swore were the one then broke up with 2 days later). or is there nothing left to do for them. hes sick of the chase but hes hungry for blood. and theres nothing he can do. hes a dog motif in a really specific street dog way you just have to understand. in a wolf way, even. but in a rabid stranded starving way. he is the only heartbreaker as well btw. he'll be the loser in this game he'll be the bad guy in the play. eric is a duncney song but in a way you would not expect. it is the duncney duncan pov song ever actually. she can come closer he'll let her hurt him how she chooses. this view of her of the top of her head makes him forgive her. her skin cries a soft weep like his. his price how about just a part of her cause he wants. shouldve been me is THE duncney/gwuncan song ever. courtney pov. when she saw the girl looked just like her and it broke her heart the lengths he went to have her to get to have her. cause she hasnt given him what he needs. he wanted her but couldnt reach her. so he went into his memory and relived all the ways he still wants her. shes sorry it shouldve been her. thought ive had in my head for over a year. its literally Them. a loving feeling is the aleduncan 90th breakup song. theyre compatible but only behind closed doors. they mean a lot to me actually jsut like . In General duncan and duncan ships by extension are mitskipilled. mitskimaxxing, even. GRAVE DOG!!!!

frrrr you're so real but if im going to comment on Duncan I need to confess something. Ive never finished watching action. ive gotten to like ep 20 I still have literally never finished it. I know that he has a lot of moments in there but I haven't finished it for some reason. I understand you but also I'm not as insane. feel free to keep screaming about him because I completely trust your opinion . I'll probably finish action soon because you are dragging me into the duncan hellhole. I love characters who are so silly and stupid and also absolutely devastating if you think about it too hard. literally peak characters.

dog motif but in the way that he was abandoned by everyone because they weren't aware he was actually a wolf. he keeps finding new homes but he gets kicked out after a day. he's rabid and scary and he's desperate for a secure home, but he can't admit that because it goes against his nature. everything hes ever known.

I love duncney too btw. Courtney is such an interesting character to me but I cannot put it into words. I love her though. absolutely love her. she's so complicated and nuanced. Courtney is for the intellectuals (joking). same with gwuncan.

also I'm insane about aleduncan. not to be kind of basic but they're everything to me. they can only be with eachother if they're alone. insane about them

I don't have any song recommendations bc school has been fucking my ass recently. moving to an online school while being tech illiterate is actually horrible </3 but your music taste is soooo good. actually top tier. real and genuinely incredible. he's mitskimaxxing, lushpilled, puberty2mogging. grave dog you're so real always

#im exhausted btw so this is. probably incomprehensible. just know you're so true #total drama #tdi #total drama action #total drama island #tda #td duncan #td duncney #td #🪦🐕

[floufli]

Admit It

Chapter 2 : Consequences (5k)

Summary:

Before the whole "multiverse collapsing" thing, everything was going pretty smoothly for you. As Spider-woman, you saved people, beat up villains and lived an calm and uneventful civilian life. But everything seemed to have changed the moment one boy was bitten by some radioactive spider. Now, the villains you faced have become more active, and always seemed to disappear before you could deliver them to the police. One day, you manage to finally catch the trail of the ones that kept stealing your catches, only to be left to discover another facet of your life waiting for you.

Will this end well for you? You could only hope so. But you are perfectly okay with risking it all, after all, that "Miguel" got one hell of an ass to make up for it.

Tags:

Miguel o'hara x fem!reader, violence, 18+ MINOR NON FRIENDLY SO HOP HOP GET OUT OF HERE, future tags

Chap: (1)

MasterList

Don't copy to another site or I'm gonna be big mad >:C and don't feed to AI obviously

Author notes:

Doing this instead of doing exam stuff related. Tried do to 3k didn't work now take this 5k and the smutty bit . I wanted to put Miguel's POV but it would have been 7 or 8k so it'll be for next chap.

I'll probably edit it later bc there're parts I find weirdly written but anyways-

Why did I do that already? Ah! Yeah! I remember, to " not miss all the fun". Silly me... HOW IS THAT FUNNY???

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT !!" You screamed at the top of your lungs as you almost immediately regretted going through that damned portal. One second you were walking onto a nice- beautiful even, concrete floor, and the next you got yourself propelled into a way too colorful void that made your eyes hurt.

Why does everything they have must be so bright? Does it not make their head hurt, like, please??

But right as of now, you thought the colorfulness of this new environment to be one of your less important problems. At least for now.

You were more concerned as to where you were actually heading, a slight panic running through your body as you realized you had no control whatsoever over your direction or speed. You didn't mind not knowing where you were going to land, no problem, but you would prefer not to crash into a building- or even better the ground, at 100km/h.

Quickly asserting the situation, you tried to take as much information as you could. Looking around yourself, you could observe ass you traveled into what could be a sort of invisible tunnel, if an invisible tube could be called a tunnel, it kind of defeats the whole purpose of the tunnel but anyway. Although you could see some kind of geometrical forms that set the global shape of the way, like guides that allowed the tunnel to go the right way.

The feeling almost made you sick. Sure swinging around was something you now excelled in, but being moved around so much that you lost sense of up and down was now something you dread to experience again.

That's something I'll never get used to. You thought as your eyes tried to find something to anchor yourself before you could throw up your last meal.

Thanks to whoever designed this thing, the experience was quite short, even if quite extreme. In only mere seconds after your entry into the portal, you were back in the real world. And not this weird in-between dimension that threw your senses off.

As much as you were thrilled for the experience to be over, your eyes stung at the bright lighting at the end of the way. But you got no time to rest and recover properly your vision. The moment your body went through the blinding light, gravity suddenly seemed to reappear, pushing you down toward the ground. Acting by instinct at this point, you let your body react by itself as it reoriented itself so you would land carefully on your two feet, and not head first.

" Ah.." You sighed, appreciating the comforting weight of gravity. You raise to your full height, arms by your side, you let your eyes take as many details around you as they could, while your ears tried to assert if there were any threats nearby.

That's a pretty big elevator.

Your eyes were amazed by the sight you were met with. By just looking from side to side, you could see the breathtaking, future-like sight behind the thick protection glass. Incredible buildings stretched so far up into the deep blue sky that you almost could believe your own eyes. How was it even possible? That must be some kind of dimension that's set well into the future for it to be so technologically advanced.

The scenery was pure beauty, roads were spreading around each building like a gigantic snake, embracing each gap and swirling in the place. And unlike your world, those were set up in the sky, allowing an astonishing field of green to surround the whole city.

OH.MY. ARE THOSE FLYING CARS?!

It was still hard to tell from this distance, and knowing that the elevator was actually moving upwards, but you could swear those cars looked weird as fuck.

…Wait, they definitely were flying...there wasn't any road for them to be on ??!

Too caught up in your own excitement, you didn't notice the three people waiting with you while the elevator moved. Running towards one of the glass windows you almost pressed your face against it to better examine this completely new view. But you quickly dismissed the idea once you saw that the elevator was in fact just a platform and putting your face against the window would result in your face being squished down along the elevator's movement.

Wait that's weird... why is everything upside down?

It took you a good minute to realize that your entire vision was in fact upside-down and that your body was in fact dangling into the void, only kept from falling by your talons. Despite the fact that the spikes on your feet were considerably huge, it seems like you didn't notice them piercing into the platform's ground.

Thanks, weird spider instincts. You thought amused, it would have been quite embarrassing if you had landed just for you to fall down because you couldn't spot that the gravity was inverted.

Parting from the glass, you looked behind you. Three different pairs of eyes met your own. You almost let a laugh escape your lips when you saw the scene, stopping yourself last second, but unable to help the smile on your lips.

While the two other Spiderwomen- you guessed you could call them like that for now, were standing perfectly straight on their feet despite the gravity trying to pull them down, Vulture was dangling weirdly, only hold back by the firm grip of the youngest Spider. Seeing something falling upwards wasn't really common in your job, as you almost never let yourself be put in a taught enough situation that would force you to be left head down.

Vulture wasn't as pleased as you were on another note. His face was one of pure worry as he frequently stared at the girl holding his restrained body and then the abysmal void separating him from the bottom of the building. You could almost catch beads of sweat sliding profusely from his now pale face.

"Enjoying the view?" The woman asked with a smile of her own, all the while she was playing with something on her watch-like device. From her relaxed brows, everything was going as usual for her. This told you a lot about the situation as a whole; if they were really who they pretended to be, fellow Spider-Men from; different universes, then they could be many more than just these two and the “Miguel” from before.

“Yeah, flying cars are not really a thing at home. This view is really something to behold.” You stated breathily, even if you didn’t know them- not even their names you realized, you could let your guard down, you could feel it.

It had been so long since you felt this safe.

Not having to worry about enemies coming to stab you in the back, always looking out for people's betrayals, it really was refreshing to say the very least. A much-needed break indeed.

“Miguel’s dimension is surely more advanced than most of ours, that’s for sure!” The woman laughed as if amused by your almost pure reaction to the scenery. Just as she finished doing whatever she was doing with her watch, the elevator started to slow down, and you walked up to where they were currently standing- waiting to arrive at your destination.

But just as you were about to stand before them a sudden vague of pain came through you. The feeling, despite short-lived, left you breathless, contorting in pain, you lost your balance and almost fell to your knees. But weirdly you didn’t.

It was as if you were shredded into pieces, and while you tried to scream, you could hear the bugged sounds that came out of your mouth. You really felt like a scratched disc that kept coming back to one scene over and over.

Thankfully, it went away as quickly as it came. You were now crouched down just next to the older woman, who had lowered herself in the meantime you were out. Now extending her arms, presenting you with a sort of elastic bracelet.

“Shit! I’m so sorry girl, that completely slipped out of my mind. There put this one on, it will stop you from doing that again, I know it’s not the best feeling.” She said to you, expression full of remorse while you quickly put on the thing.

“ That’s for sure..” You breathed, “Shit, that fucking hurt ugh-” You straightened yourself while she stayed near in case you needed help, but in mere seconds you were back to full form.

“Yeah, I know. Sorry again, a lot of things to do at the same time and you weren’t on today’s agenda.” Just as she finished her sentence, the elevator came to a stop, it’s lack of a door allowing you to fully take in the view in front of you.

“But don’t worry, Lyla will give you a real Goober since Miguel asked her to, you should have it soon enough.”

You didn’t pay as much attention as you probably should have to her words, too focused on observing the impossible scene.

There were so many Spider-Men and Spider-Women everywhere.

But you didn’t get the chance to admire them more, the two women and their package were already well ahead of you, still in the elevator.

Oops, wait for meeee!!

You quickly took off towards them, but still, let ourself look around the bright alleys. They were covering almost every centimeter available, from the floor up to the ceiling, thanks to the Spider capacities they surely possessed too.

You jogged behind the two women, avoiding the Spiders that came in your way while saluting the ones that acknowledged you.

“Jessica, do you bring us a new one? Does Miguel knows about that one?” A voice came from your right, a Spider-Man, his suit a deep red and light blue. He seemed to have been talking with others, but your presence must have caught his attention.

How does he even know I’m new here? WE ALL LOOK THE SAME. HOW?

“YES AND YES PETER.” The woman, Jessica, answered without missing a beat, walking unfalteringly toward a gate a bit farther into the ‘main’ way.

The other spider let go almost immediately after her answer, going back to his previous discussion.

“Don’t worry, they are all pretty chill when you get to know them.” The young girl spoke while you continued to look around, catching your attention.

“Yeah, since we’re all Spiders from different dimensions I figured we must be the nice guys I guess. I shouldn’t be too worried about them trying something.” You nodded, and the youngster laughed softly at your response.

“I could even present you some, I’m sure you could get along just fine with Hobby.” She continued as you all entered a darker zone of the building, the atmosphere changing immediately. It even smelled different from the main hall.

The scent is different here but it feels off. Like there’s something behind it? You took a long inspiration. It’s not strong but I can definitely smell something.

It smells pretty good too. Like a subtle mix of pine and oak, just strong enough to pick on but not too overwhelming either.

Hell, it smells divine.

As if in a trance, you followed while they approached different cells-like containers, each filled with what you could recognize as a villain from your own dimension, except slightly different.

Jessica stopped before what looked like an inactivated cell, pushing some sort of code into a nearby panel while the girl approached and put down the Vulture right in the middle of the device that served as the cell’s base.

The moment he left her arms the cel activated, a bright purple hue commit to completely encapsulated him, leaving him unable to leave.

“ They wait here before we send them back to their own dimensions,” The girl said as she pulled down her mask, before pointing toward another room, behind some control panels. “ We got a supper-and-absolutely-not-scary giant spider robot that scans their DNA before sending them back. Super effective.”

“Totally humane and professional.” You completed as you began to see white appendages leaving a hole you didn’t notice in the ceiling, red yes soon following as the gigantic thing came out to work on the prisoner that was just scanned.

Yep! Not scary! Not scary at all!

Quickly, you turned around before you could witness anything more this spider thing was about to do, and chose to follow the two women, staying closer to the girl that seemed more eager to talk.

“I’m Gwen between, I’ve not been here for much longer than you don’t worry, only a month or so. So I know what it feels like at first.” She tried to reassure you, that was easy to tell. But you weren’t stressed, or at least not as much as you think you should have been.

It’s weird. Since I smelt the scent I feel almost at ease.

But there’s more to it, I can feel my entire body heating up.

…Don’t tell me they got some strange laboratory things going on in there and I’m the only one affected… That would be so embarrassing.

You could feel your face heating as you walked. You chatted calmly with the Girl after introducing yourself, and she seemed eager to talk to someone, but inside, you were screaming. It was beginning to be difficult to breathe with your mask, the scent becoming stronger and stronger as you approached a somber room with a sort of platform attached to a metallic arm that stretched into the darkness.

It’s dark enough here, I should be able to pull it off without dying from a headache.

Mimicking the actions of the girl, Gwen, from moments prior, you raised your hand to pull your mask off swiftly, a sigh of pure satisfaction leaving you as the cold air of the room hit your burning face.

I hope I'm not too red or I'll need to make something up.

Thankfully no one seemed to notice your very much cherry-colored face, possibly due to the low lighting of the room to begin with.

Get your hormones in check for fuck's sake.

"Everything's alright here?" Jessica asked as she could tell something was visibly bugging you from the frown on your face.

"Yeah, Yeah everything's good. Just trying to take in all the new info you know?" You answered quickly, but not without missing the curious face Gwen threw your way.

Your eyes went back to Jessica, she was next to the control panel now, and just as she had been doing all the way here, she taped some code on the display. But this time, a holographic figure appeared just next to her.

"Hey, Lyla!" The girl next to you greeted cheerfully the hologram. Wait, THEY HAVE ADVANCED AI TOO?

"Hi Gwen, what's up? Still, sticking with poor old Jess? Miggy still hasn't let you go alone on a mission?" The yellowish woman asked, her form teleporting just next to the girl in question.

"You already know the answer to that Lyla-" Gwen answered, defeated, "I'm ready, at this point I'm just waiting for SOMEONE to tell him that I'm ready too."

The glare she threw at Jessica couldn't be missed, even if you tried, her eyes full of expectations but only met with blank ones.

"Hey it's not my job to babysit, I will have plenty of work when this one will be there," She said while pressing her hand on her belly," If you're sooo ready just go and tell him you are. That shouldn't be difficult for someone as good as you." She finished, a wicked smile playing on her features, obviously teasing the girl.

The two continued their own playful arguing, you could only stand by and watch, at least until the AI- Lyla apparently finally noticed you.

"OH! YOU'RE THE NEWBY MIGGUEL SAID TO MAKE THE GIZMO FOR!" The hologram appeared right in your face, causing you to jump in surprise. She looked like a twenty-something years old woman, a short brunette, and she smiled at you friendly.

"Yeah, I guess that's me..." Everything was starting to become a bit too much for you, having enhanced senses had its pros and cons, and being easily overwhelmed was one of them, and the strange but pleasant scent that invaded your mind didn't help your body to calm down.

"Good, I'm sure you got your own Spidey things to do so we're gonna be brief." She said happily, moving around with way too much energy for such a little thing. "Take that first, it's way better than the daily pass you have right there."

A bracelet similar to the one you saw on the two women materialized in front of you, and you quickly reached out to catch it, not wanting it to break.

Pulling off the elastic bracelet from your right arm, you rapidly replaced it with its metallic counterpart. Up close, you could see the amount of detail and work that went into the item's conception, from the small display to the multiple buttons there and there.

"We'll teach you how to you it don't worry, it's not that hard when you know what to do." Lyla declared confidently, from her proud expression, she must have been the one designing the item.

"But first-" Jessica turned from Lyla to face you.

"-First we'll explain to you everything that has happened." Lyla cut off, earning an angry look from Jessica.

Finally. You thought. it's not like I came here for that in the first place but kinda.

Suddenly the whole room became pitch black, and a beam of white light rose from the middle of it, urging you to come closer. The beam began to take the form of a tree, and from there you could only listen as both Jessica and Lyla explained to you the story of this organization.

"These webs linked us all together," Jessica started, "And one year ago, a gap was left in it, allowing people from one dimension to enter another, those we call anomalies."

"And if we don't do anything, all the worlds could be destroyed."

Waving goodbye to your new colleagues, you stepped into the portal after making sure it was set to your dimension. The trip wasn't as bad as the first, since you were now expecting the whole floating part, but still, it will definitely need to be improved.

When you landed, you were surprised to see yourself in your flat, in the middle of your living room. Almost falling to your knees in relief for the day to FINALLY be over, you caught yourself last second, instead falling face-first into your sofa.

Your body was aching everywhere and you could already feel the headache in your temple, the distinct throbbing enough to let a painful whimper escape your lips.

Need to shower and put this off.

After inhaling heavily, to prepare yourself mentally for the pain to come, you finally rose to your two feet and headed to the bathroom. You took your sweet time undressing, delaying as much as you could the moment the cold air of the room would touch your sensitive skin.

Your flat was modest, and so was your bathroom, you didn't have a very big salary at your local job, and doing Spider-Woman exploit didn't pay shit. Free work all along and still some people got the nerve to hold it to you when you made the slightest mistake.

'Go on take the work' You had wanted to yell more than once. But deep down you knew no one would take your place if it meant going through what you did to have this kind of powers.

As you managed to get most of your suit off, you couldn't but notice the smell that came from off of it. The same as the one in that place in the HQ building. Miguel's 'office' would you had learned it to be. The memory of the man's face still vivid in your mind.

Poor guy, he really lost everything he had. And I can't imagine the amount of guilt he has accumulated over time from that.

And still despite your kind words you couldn't help your body's reaction the moment your eyes met the sculpted body of your new boss. At this moment you thanked every god and goddess you knew the name of to have made this room so dark. If you think you were feeling kind of hot before, then now you were burning from the inside out, everything felt ten times as what you were used to. Sounds, images, odors, everything was multiplied and allowed you to sense almost everything that was going on inside and outside the room.

But it was useless, as your eyes only seemed to see interest in this Miguel's divine complexion.

And damn if your suit didn't make your body heat up once more. Chills ran through your entire body, your talons and fangs starting to stretch despite the fact you didn't want them to. You desperately tried to control yourself, tried to let go of the fabric in your hands, but it seems your body wasn't cooperating. Instead, your hand rose the piece of fabric to your face, allowing you to smell the full fragrance still enclosed in its fibers.

"Shit-" You hissed, as one of your hands grabbed the edge of the sink, your legs were starting to give up on you. You didn't feel this aroused in- hell you've never been this turned on in your entire life and that's saying something about yourself right now. Why was it happening now? It wasn't nearly as bad when you were there, it should have calmed down and not worsened!

You could only let yourself fall on your knees in an attempt to calm yourself, maybe the coldness of the tiles would help? Well, it didn't. Now you could hear a cracking sound coming from above and below you, your talons and claws surely pushing the ceramic of the sink and the tiles to its limit.

As embarrassing as the whole thing was would feel yourself growing soaked, your entire core on fire, waiting for something you weren't sure only your fingers could provide. But your resolution to control yourself started to falter.

So while your nose was still buried deep into the fabric, mouth agape while you inhaled the divine sent, your other slowly caressed your body, starting by your neck, luckily your claws still retracted the moment they touched your skin. You tried to imagine how his body would feel below yours, how his fingers would feel against your skin, would they be rough or smooth? Oh- What you could do to this man at this instant.

Your hand was now on your breasts, your hand easily englobing the mound of flesh, playing with it just the way you liked, causing small moans to escape your drooling mouth. Your hips began to move with a mind of their own, swinging back and forth against nothing, the feeling at your core begging to be too much.

Leaving your other breast without giving it the same attention, you let your hand make its descent towards you screaming for attention vulva. You breathed heavily into your suit, both yours and his scent mixed making your mind go crazy.

"Fuck-Ah!" You jumped as your fingers first made contact with your aching clit, the simple touch almost enough to immediately send you over the edge. Your whole body was tensing now, waiting for something to release the unbearable tension.

Tentatively, your finger started to play around with your sensitive clit, sending powerful waves of pure pleasure through you that left your mind practically blank- except for the image of this beauty of a man panting below you.

Hips grinding on your hand, chasing for more, you allowed one finger to begin spreading your wet folds, sighting in relief when a new sort of pleasure overwhelmed your senses.

But still, it wasn't enough, you were fully moaning into your suit while three fingers worked hard on spreading you and your hips still grinded hard on your palm, trying to get as much stimulation as you could.

You had the picture perfectly painted in your head, mimicking your current depraved act, you would be riding that man until he'd beg you to stop, or until you were fully satisfied. He would look so good with tears in his eyes, you thought, the constant brows on his face as its appeal but god- what would give out to be the one making sure he was milked until there was nothing much he could give you. 

You licked your dried lips at the thought, your tongue brushing slowly upon your bared fangs. You panted heavily, sensing your orgasm approach way faster than usual, the familiar tightness in your core becoming more and more unbearable, but promising a delightful end for all the torture it had been.

You curled on yourself when you grinded particularly hard on your clit, provoking a shockwave that made on fall on the floor of the bathroom. You must have been quite the sight, ass up in the air, hand pushing your suit in your face, all the while you now grinded with a desperate thrust into your hand.

Shit-shit-shit!!

Your entire frame tenses when your orgasm finally hit you full force, the hotness of your core spreading across every centimeter of skin, up until your face. Instinct taking over, you let yourself sink your teeth deep into the fabric still pushed in your face, and the moment your fangs sank in completely, you could feel your own venom ooze out of them.

"Ah AH-" You tried to muffle your sound but to no avail. Fingers still moving against and inside you, you tried to make the few waves of pleasure last as much as you could, even if it meant overstimulating you a tiny bit. After the last bit of pleasure eventually faded, you stayed immobile for a few more minutes, struggling to comprehend what exactly had just happened.

What. The. Fuck. Was. THAT?

Still slightly out of breath from your previous activity, you slowly rose back up, wincing at the feeling of your fingers leaving your leaking cunt. Sitting on your knees, you tried to assert the situation.

You looked intensely at your wet hand, your mind still not processing everything that just happened, as if it had been totally disconnected, leaving your body to be ruled solely by primary and animalistic instincts.

You stood up, not without faltering for an instant, where you incredible sense of equilibria when you needed it?

"Okay. Okay. That is just horny me, no need to think about it. It's just the Sider DND going berserk because of a pretty guy." Your reasoning was strong, at least you thought it to be, just enough to convince you would surely do the work. Looking up into the mirror about your sink, you stared at yourself, hand grabbing its edge with way too much force, causing your fingers to go white and a small crack to appear.

You looked absolutely disheveled, your already not very tidy hair now tangled in a messy patch of color. Your eyes were bloodshot red, your pupils still dilated, taking over most of your eyes, leaving no place for its original color to sip through. Along with you still, open mouth and bared fangs, your shoulder moving up and down in rapid breaths.

You looked monstrous, quite literally. If someone were to see you like this, it would be more than understandable if they suddenly took off running, fearing for their life. You seemed ready to attack anything that come your way, but you could help to find a certain charm to your current state. Sure you looked savage, but the good kind of savage.

Hell, you even though you looked pretty hot like that.

Turning on the sink you quickly rinsed off your hand, a sudden wave of fatigue shutting you down. You then took a quick shower to rinse off any residue of dirk of concrete from today's work, along with the last proofs of your own excitement.

In less than fifteen minutes you were out of the shower, patting yourself dry, and getting ready for bed after throwing your suit in the washing machine before the smell would get you to do this again-and it almost made you sad to know that the only piece of this sent would be gone. Leaving the bathroom after opening a window to evacuate the fog, you stepped into your leaving room for a quick dinner, nothing too fancy.

You took from the fridge some leftovers from this afternoon, some rice along with a small piece of marinated fish, which will be more than enough. You ate at your own pace, not bothered by the clock ticking, reminding you of today's day of work. When you finished, you took out your phone, making sure you didn't forget to activate your alarms.

You entered your bedroom languidly, the darkness of the room comforting you, and with eyes as sensitive as yours, seeing in the dark was included in the package. Putting your phone to charge and the watch thingy- a Gizmo you had learned, o the night table, you throw yourself into the smooth and soft sheets of your bed.

As you found a comfortable position to fall asleep, your mind went back to what today had taught you, memories of all the Spider-men and women invading your mind, and fatally- the image of this Miguel you didn't even know as you watched him lose everything he had.

What a shitty person I am for having this kind of thought toward that poor guy.

Your eyelids were now starting to feel heavy, and before you could react your eyes closed on their own accord, your conscience beginning to drift away.

Thought shutting down as you began to fall asleep you could help but come back to what you saw at the HQ, but this time without the guilty feeling, thanks to being half-asleep.

But he got that cake... Bigger than me.. that's for sure... 

Tag list : (tell me if you want to be added/deleted)

@stany0url0calwh0res111 @mira-dystopiancore @smotheredinlighterfluid @vvitcxen @st4rrlighttt @mstozierr @maxi-ride @miguelsmainb @autismsupermusicalassassin @bluevenus19 @jenniferdixon05207 @candlewitch-cryptic @ahoeformyself @rxionv

#fanfic #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x you #spider man 2099 #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel x reader #miguel x you #into the spider verse #across the spiderverse #x you #x reader #reader #fem!reader #you #miguel o'hara x y/n #miguel o'hara fic #atsv #miguel o'hara x fem!reader #miguel x fem!reader #x fem!reader #female reader #spiderwoman reader #jessica drew #gwen stacy #spiderman #spiderverse spoilers

[anachronistic-falsehood]

giving u a free ticket 2 talk about qsmp more bc its fun 🎟🎟 tell me about jaiden. i only vaguely see people talking about jaiden and i just think shes a cool person in general (<< used 2 watch her animation videos ALL the time) so i wanna know what shes up to :]

OH DUDE. INSANE ABOUT QJAIDEN FR. i don't watch her pov often so a lot of this might be off but like. i will not stop thinking about her ever. okay. so jaiden and roier. platonic partners forever and ever <3 they had a son named bobby and he was just the SILLIEST little guy ever on the planet!!! such a little shit!!! and he was so so caring and loving!!! he DIED. ok. he DIED and it was SAD. and roier coped by hiding his grief with jokes, but jaiden just kind of. wallowed in her grief. she let it consume her. and CUCURUCHO CAME ALONG and started hanging out with her and being nice to her. and like. ok. whatever u weird ass bear.

but like. the way she treated cucurucho kind of got similar to the way she treated bobby. and ALL OF US could see that that fucking THING was trying to manipulate her by being a fucking STAND-IN FOR HER SON. and jaiden is not stupid or naive, she definitely realized that she was trying to fill this bobby shaped hole in her heart with cucurucho, but she kind of just. let it happen. it was better to use this love on something than let it sit there with nowhere else to go and turn into more grief. yk.

it's kind of canon that jaiden was involved with the federation somehow before arriving on the island. none of us know HOW. also she has wings!!! she's a parrot hybrid which is really cool!!! but we also know that the feds did horrible experiments on other bird people like baghera and quackity and they're messing with phil. THEY HATE BIRDS I GUESS. also she can't fly. she either doesn't remember how to or never learned how in the first place, and that second option has some WILD implications if u think about her mostly unknown past with the feds

OK now it gets kind of complicated bc GUESS WHAT there are multiple cucuruchos. there's one that types All proper and normal, with correct grammar and punctuation, like this. and another one that types KARKAT STYLE IN ALL CAPS AND IS VERY SILLY!!! and the all caps one (i think??) is called osito bimbo by some of the islanders. at some point jaiden was... not rly kidnapped???? but i guess like. recruited by the federation to spend two weeks training osito bimbo because he wasn't a very proper cucurucho. and these two weeks FUCKED HER UP. she got MORE emotionally attached to the cucuruchos. they are some of the only living(?) things she can count on. she is DEEP in the shit now. even after learning about horrible things that one or more of the cucuruchos have done (the cellbit chainsaw torture, the felps kidnapping, etc etc) she kind of brushed that off as like "oh they were just being silly!!!!" like Girl These People Are Traumatized. So Are You. GET HELP. like she's fully aware that the federation is bad, but she separated cucurucho from the federation in her mind so she doesn't have to feel bad about caring for cucurucho. she's really close with people who have been wronged by the feds and/or cucurucho but she just. can't let go of this lifeline. cucurucho is so important to her, just like bobby. she can't give that up.

my beloved grieving mother/flightless bird/federation favourite <3 she is so interesting i'm going to start ripping up floorboards

#qsmp #friend tag :3 #SHE'S SO INTERESTING TO MEEEEEEEE #i need to watch her pov more i love her so so much #also btw they stole like. spawnable mini clones from the federation. so now they have itty bitty versions of themselves #and jaiden named her minime BALLS???????????? with about that many question marks #and so if u have seen recent clips of jaiden and/or others screaming BALLS?????????? at a tiny jaiden that would be why <3 #i love BALLS??????????? all my homies love BALLS???????????

[ahoyimlosingmymind]

got any lava cake angst head canons?

This is more hurt/comfort than pure angst but:

(I'll probably write a fic that follows this exact plot I'm about to layout later on. Once Lava cake becomes more established in my fic universe)

~ Tensions rise in the Vacker household when Alden and Della start to notice Marella and Fitz growing closer. This is just another matchmaking debacle waiting to happen. Their reputation can't take it.

~ "Fitz, do you truly believe your mother's heart can handle any more of this scorn? You are doing absolutely nothing to negate it." It sounds like fatherly and husbandly concern to anyone listening from the outside. But Fitz knows what it really means. And he doesn't want to face it. He takes a leaf out of Keefe's book and

~ He steals one of the leaping crystals to the forbidden cities and asks Marella to come with him. Just to get away for the day. She agrees.

~This is Marella's first time in the human world, and she's baffled by the way human beings treat each other. The honking and road rage, the homeless on the streets, the anger and violence humans seem to carry with them everywhere. She points this out to Fitz.

~ Fitz then confesses that he is genuinely concerned for himself and ashamed of his 'high' tolerance for violence. Like there's some fundamentally wrong with him. He explains that he thinks it's because of all the stuff he was exposed to as a kid in the human world.

~ Marella assures him there's nothing wrong, and that she understands what it's like to be 'different' than others. Her ability is seen as inherently violent and destructive, and she's scared of it most days.

~ But it's also silly and cute the whole time, and they swim in a lake and get ice cream and they both find human music and fall in love with it

~ meanwhile their friends and family are freaking tf out in the lost cities looking for them. (someone uses a spyball to find out where they are bc I want drama)

--------------------

Marella is having a rough day with her mom and she's confiding in Fitz about how she feels like she hardly knows who her mom really is and she finds it really hard to connect with her because she's had brain damage since Marella was 2.

So Fitz helps her by showing her, her mom's mind. Under all of the existing damage, there are broken memories of Marella when she was little, and when her parents were dating and she gets to kinds see her mom's life from her mother's POV

#lava cake #Fitz vacker #marella redek #kotlc