#MAYBE I JUST WANT TO ACTUALLY KNOW ABOUT MYSELF | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

withleeknow · 2 days

Note

for the requests — i'll send two songs that i've liked for quite a while and you can choose the member that you see who fits the vibe?

sand by dove cameron

and

make you mine by madison beer

conversations with strangers.

pairing: seungmin x gn!reader genre/warnings: exes to ??, non-idol au (i wrote this with seungmin in mind as a celebrity/singer or musician of some sort so it's pretty vague and it's not explicitly mentioned what he actually does, so if you wanna imagine him as an idol it still fits the narrative. i can't tell you what to do lol), Angst™️! (i think. i liked this at first but then i was looking at it so much that i became desensitized to it and idk if it's that sad anymore lol); the ending is a little ambiguous maybe?, mentions of drinking, mentions of sex, could've been more edited word count: 2.9k note: this might be one of my favorite things that i've written lately but i am also in my fish freshly dropped on land era so i am fully prepared for this to flop like ass lol bye

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

navigation / request masterlist / ko-fi

I saw the end when we began You couldn't love the way I can I tried to bargain with the stars For more than half of your heart But you have more pieces of me than the desert has sand And I have less pieces of you than I can hold in my hand

Sand - Dove Cameron

"Why did you call me?"

"Why did you come?"

There isn't a good answer to his question, so you choose to ignore it in favor of keeping your eyes on the road, your fingers holding tightly onto the steering wheel. You don't know what to tell him. You yourself aren't even sure why you came to that bar, why Seungmin is sitting in your passenger seat right now just because he was drunk and he wouldn't let anyone take him home but you.

"I asked you first," you say. It takes an effort to keep your voice even, an effort not to look over at him.

"Don't know," he sounds like he couldn't care less, but that's always been Seungmin for you. "Old habits die hard, I guess. You were the only one I used to call."

You round a corner without even having to look at the GPS. The route to his place is still ingrained in your brain even after all this time. On some nights when you feel too stuffy indoors, you would go on a walk by yourself. Directionless for an hour or two, you just want to feel the wind wrap around your body and solid ground beneath your feet.

On these same nights, you would find yourself at Seungmin's door.

It's always unintentional, the way your feet would carry you to his home without your permission.

"Used to," you reiterate. "Past tense. You don't get to call me anymore. I'm not your chauffeur."

You feel his eyes on the side of your face. Then his voice, ever so calm and collected, "You came anyway, didn't you?"

His words irritate you for some reason, even though he means nothing bad. No malice in his voice; he's just simply stating a fact. You did come when he called, and perhaps the person that you're really annoyed with is only yourself, because why did you come?

He should be a stranger to you by now, and yet, you're here.

Maybe you know the answer. Maybe it's not a hard question at all.

You let the both of you wallow in silence for the rest of the drive. When you pull up to Seungmin's building about ten minutes later, you finally turn to cast your gaze upon him with your eyebrow slightly raised, a polite Get out if there ever was one.

Instead of taking the hint like a normal person and going on his merry way, he just stares at you with his big eyes and his hair still styled to perfection even after a night of celebrating and drinking. Seungmin loves to be difficult, this you can't ever forget.

"Well?" you press. "You're home."

He blinks, then swallows thickly. He looks around your car for a few seconds, unsure of himself. If he wasn't intoxicated, you would think he's trying to stall.

"I... I can't go up by myself," he says.

"Are you serious?"

He just nods, something expectant in his gaze.

"You're a grown man."

"Help me up." He doesn't sound all too drunk, but maybe he's just got a way of masking it because Seungmin would never outright ask for help. He's stubborn, and he thinks it makes him look weak. Incapable.

In the end, you give in to his request. You let him lean on you in the elevator on the way up to his floor, the scent of his cologne still overpowering the bourbon he had all night and it makes you just a little nostalgic.

At his door, you hold onto his waist and look away when he punches in the passcode. The door unlocks and this should be it for the two of you, your unexpected reunion should be ending the moment Seungmin crosses over to the other side of the threshold, but he just turns around and looks at you, his body against the frame of the door this time.

"There, you're home safely," you say. "I've done my part. Goodnight."

"Come in."

"Why?"

"I'm tired. Come in." And with that, Seungmin retreats into the apartment, leaving the door open for you to follow without any further explanation at all. For a moment, you stand there by yourself, not really sure of what to do. You hear him shuffling inside, before the sound of his body plopping onto the couch carries over to your ears.

What business do you have here? What business did you have with Seungmin in the first place today?

And yet, you find yourself trailing inside, closing the door behind you until the lock clicks into place. Maybe you're curious to see what the place looks like since the last time that you were here. The two of you never lived together - you weren't foolish enough to agree even though he did ask - but you were over often enough to consider this your second home.

Not much has changed. It's still the same minimalist four walls that you were used to. Same light gray paint, same black couch. Same framed signature of his favorite baseball player and same tiny crack in the decorative bowl on the coffee table. There's a photo on the credenza lying face down seemingly on purpose, but you don't say anything about it.

"What am I doing here?" you ask.

"Why did you come?" he shoots you the question for the second time tonight.

You blink at him. He only stares back.

"Why did you call me?" you repeat. "Why did you really call me?"

Questions thrown out but no answers received, like you're both running in circles, with neither of you knowing why you're even running in the first place.

Seungmin purses his lips before he stands up, the suddenness of the movement leaves him unsteady on his feet, makes him hold onto the couch's armrest for support. "Do you want some water?"

You bite the inside of your cheek. "Okay."

"Give me a second. Have a seat."

You watch as he pads into the kitchen a little wobbly, then returns a few minutes later with two glasses of water. He sits back down on the couch next to you, some distance dividing the two of you. He takes a sip, you do the same.

"Called you because I missed you," he says, casually admitting it like he was merely discussing the weather. The place hasn't changed, but maybe he has.

The last time you spoke to Seungmin was about six months ago, when he dropped off your things two weeks after you broke up. You haven't had any contact since, and that's exactly the way it should be for you and him now. You went your separate ways and that was it. A mutual agreement that hurts, but it was mutual nonetheless. For the past half a year, all he's been to you is a stranger. You know why it had to happen. You agreed to it.

But, just because you haven't talked, doesn't mean that you haven't thought of him. You wish he only crossed your mind in passing, wish your brain only conjured up the image of him whenever you saw something that he would like, or whenever you caught a glimpse of him on the TV or radio. In reality, it's been much more pathetic. You think of him almost every day, despite your best efforts to cleanse yourself of everything that's remotely related to the name Kim Seungmin. His absence carries itself with you all the time, a hollowness that seeps into every crevice of your life.

You know he means it. Seungmin doesn't lie, least of all to you. His honesty twists inside of you like a knife. Salt, meet wound.

You have no words to offer him, no response you can think of that would make sense to say out loud so you don't say anything. The only sound that falls from your lips is his name, like a warning, a plea, a consolation all at once.

But he doesn't seem to mind. Not his sudden vulnerability, not your reluctance to entertain that split second of honesty.

"I answered your question. Now you have to answer mine," he says. "Why did you come?"

"What do you want me to tell you?"

He doesn't respond right away. Instead, he takes a moment like he's mulling it over in his head. "Thought maybe you missed me too," he says eventually, ending the sentence with a bitter chuckle. "Just a little bit."

You tongue your cheek, stall with another sip of water before you place the glass on the table. On a coaster of course, Seungmin hates cup rings on his fancy table.

You lean back to rest on the couch, staring up at his boring ceiling. There are memories of you on this very couch, ones of you lying with your head on his lap as he plays with your hair, the two of you winding down after a long day. Or ones that are far too inappropriate to bring up ever again, of nights where you were both too desperate and impatient to take it to the bedroom. Those gentle reminders are still here somewhere, tucked between the cushions perhaps.

"Sure." You hum, nodding along. "Let's go with that."

Another chuckle, humorless. Though, you think he's pleased enough with that non-answer but you're not sure. He mirrors your position, falling into the couch with a sigh. From your peripheral vision, you think he's scooched closer to you, just by a few centimeters, in the process of settling into the sofa.

"My turn," you say. "Why do you want me here?"

"What is this, 21 questions?"

You shrug simply. "You asked me to come in. I'm just curious."

When Seungmin stays silent for a beat too long, you turn your head to watch him, thinking maybe he's knocked out because of the alcohol in his system. But you find him wide awake, his eyes staring ahead, looking like he's already sober.

His face is unreadable when he says, "Wanted to see something."

"See what?"

"See if something is still there."

It's your turn to remain quiet as you process his words, and it's Seungmin who has to turn to gauge your reaction.

"And? Is anything still there?" you ask.

"I don't know, you tell me. You're the one that stayed."

"Does it matter? If I say there is?"

"Of course it does."

"What would you do about it?"

He goes still once more. You know he doesn't have an answer to your question. What would he do? What could he even do? Patch things up only for them to fall apart again in a couple months? Once upon a time, you were naive enough to think that you could find a way to make it work. You had enough blind faith to think that it would all work out in the end; that if you wanted it enough, maybe the universe would let you have this one thing.

You return your gaze to the ceiling. He's shown you his cards, maybe it's only fair that you show him some of yours too.

An uncertain inhale, then the realization that this is the only time you would be able to have an honest conversation with him about this.

"Wanna hear something funny?" you ask.

"I have a feeling you're gonna tell me anyway."

It's anything but funny, and Seungmin is certain that you're not building up to a punchline. Sure, it's a little tragic that nothing matters, but there's some freedom, some comfort in that too. You can tell him everything that's plagued your mind for the past couple hundred days or so without having to worry about the repercussions. Even though not all is said, everything is already done.

"You know, you were mine before you were anyone else's," you say. You feel his eyes on the side of your face. The silence persists, and you aren't sure if you can take it as a sign to continue, but you do so anyway because at least he's not pumping the brakes on it, right? "I used to be jealous of your life. Toward the end, I mean."

"Jealous of what?"

"I don't know. Just your life, your dream. All of it."

Seungmin blinks. "You were jealous that I got to live my dream?"

"I said I was jealous of your life, not you," you correct him. "Because you always seemed to want everything else more than you wanted me."

"You make it sound like I was the bad guy." He turns a little defensive all of a sudden, an edge in his voice when he says, "That's not true."

You still remember him well enough to know that it is.

And it's not such a terrible thing; it's simply the truth. You can't fault him for having a dream and for having enough courage to see it through, even if it means unintentionally leaving you behind in the process. You could foresee the end even from the beginning. If you wanted to blame someone, you would have to blame yourself too.

You swerve around his metaphorical walls, his make-believe suit of armor. If you'd been nervous around Seungmin tonight, then that anxiety is now chipping away brick by brick the more you internalize the fact that nothing matters anymore.

"Remember your last show before we broke up? You were so happy, I was so proud of you. You belong on stage and I never wanted to take that away from you. But then I noticed the crowd, the thousands of people out there cheering your name and I realized that I would never compare to them. Their praise meant more to you than mine, and it was only a matter of time before you outgrew me to look for bigger and better spotlights.

"I'm not saying you were wrong for any of it. I don't blame you. You were always going to outgrow me. It's sad, but it's okay. I always knew that you'd have to leave me behind at some point. It's on me too; I just fell too hard too fast for someone who could never stay. It's your dream, you can't help it. But that night... that was the nail in the coffin for me, knowing that one day, to you, I would be just one of the faces in a crowd that you can't even tell apart."

It doesn't hurt as much as you thought it would. In fact, it's even a little cathartic to pour out the words that have been sitting heavy on your chest. Although it's not until a single tear spills over that you realize your eyes have welled up somewhere along the way. You quickly wipe it away with your thumb, then you feel his hand reach for yours after a few beats.

Seungmin calls your name, and you can hear the regret in his voice. When you look at him, his eyes have softened, no longer on the defense now that you've beat him to the offense. "I'm not drunk enough to forget about this in the morning, you know," he says.

"Does it matter? What are you going to do about it in the morning?" you ask. "We're already broken up. It's not like we can go anywhere from here. But at least now you know what it was like for me."

It seems to be a common theme tonight - stretches of silence in between admissions of truth so that one of you can gauge the other's reaction, trying to assess what path would be worth it to take at this crossroad you find yourselves unable to move on from.

Then he's tugging on your hand, pulling you to him until you're in each other's orbit again. Close enough for him to wrap his arm around you. Close enough that you're weak, not that you were ever that strong to begin with. It doesn't really come as a surprise that you let him.

"I..." Seungmin starts, full of uncertainty as he tries to string together a sentence. "We could go back."

This isn't a surprise either, that you're considering his words.

"What happens when it ends again?"

You can practically taste the residual bourbon on his breath when he leans into you, his lips brushing your cheek just slightly. "Then it ends again," he says, a little pained, all too selfish. "But it'll be worth it. It's worth it to me."

"What if it's not what I want? What if it's not worth it to me?"

He pulls back, putting some distance between your faces so he could see you better, the deep brown of his eyes searching for something that you're both aware of.

"You came tonight," he murmurs, as if that in and of itself is a sufficient enough explanation. "You stayed."

Not all is said, but everything is already done.

You had chance after chance after chance to leave, to shut this down - whatever this is - but you didn't, not even once. You're still a willing participant even though you've lived through this ending before. You know he loved you, know he loves you even if the way he goes about it is selfish.

Because you do know the answer to his questions. It's clear as day; anyone can see it from a mile away.

When your world eventually comes crashing down again some time from now, you won't blame Seungmin. You won't blame yourself either, despite having option to walk away from all of this right now.

Because maybe some pains are worth enduring twice, aren't they?

Why did you come? Why did you stay?

Is anything still there?

#stray kids fic #stray kids imagines #stray kids x reader #stray kids angst #skz fic #skz imagines #skz x reader #skz x you #seungmin angst #seungmin fic #seungmin scenarios #seungmin x reader #seungmin imagines #seungmin x you #stray kids #kim seungmin #seungmin #skz

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paperclipninja · 7 hours

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I think I'm in a minority and lordt knows I've been very wrong about stuff like this before, but I have zero concern that Good Omens will end with Aziraphale and Crowley being human. None. Not even one iota of worry about it happening.

Why?

Because Neil Gaiman is a really good storyteller. And he, as a really good storyteller, knows that would be an unsatisfying ending.

Obviously this is pure speculation on my part, but a really good storyteller doesn't go to the effort of constructing such an intricate story, in which the challenges and desires of having eternal life but not being able to share it with the one being you want to, are so carefully laid out only to have them end up mortal. Because then what? Crowley ends up back in hell anyway and maybe Aziraphale does too? Or they end up back where they started? Nah.

My guess is that it is not going to play out as a rom-com might (I mean, it's not a rom-com), or with anything particularly overt being shown between Aziraphale and Crowley, and any "it may not be the ending you want" is, in my mind, getting way out in front to manage expectations.

By the time season 3 airs we will have been consuming years of fanfic, fanart and fanon and of all people, Neil knows the way that begins to shift the expectations and hopes of a fandom. It's really easy to drift away from canon or forget the kind of show it actually is (and that's totally fine, gimme all the fics and art that take me to where I want my faves to be), but it also means that fandoms can end up "disappointed" that some of the fan thinking and creating didn't come to pass.

So mah point is, any comments from actors or creators about a season not being what we want- that doesn't mean it's going to be rubbish storytelling. It means that some of the things people are hoping for won't happen.

And until we see what actually plays out on our screen, I, for one, am going to keep immersing myself in the brilliant creativity of this fandom and just

#good omens #good omens speculation #good omens season 3 #aziracrow #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands

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loveyouanyway · 2 days

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🌊 fuck it friday!

tagged by @tizniz @firefighterevandiaz @bidisasterevankinard @loserdiaz

@inell @dangerpronebuddie @evanbi-ckley 💙

"I was at the pier when the tsunami hit. And there was this kid by himself so I tried to protect him. God, he's awesome. He was actually the one reassuring me and trying to make me laugh. We talked about dinosaurs and played eye spy... But then I lost him and I'll never forgive myself for that."

Fuck. It is him—Buck. It warms his heart that he didn't mention Christopher's cerebral palsy at all and focused on his personality. He's overheard how people call his son "the kid with CP" and it kind of makes him want to commit arson which is reasonable reaction if he says so himself.

"Wait are you Buck?"

"Yeah. What— how do you know?"

Eddie exhales. "That was my kid. Christopher."

"Fuck. I'm so sorry. God, I'm sorry."

"You saved him. That's how he remembers it."

"Eddie," Buck says in a broken voice and Eddie just wants to take all his pain way.

"And from what I heard, you didn't just save him. You saved others. You did good, Buck. You're so good. Thank you."

He hears Buck make a choked up noise.

A minute later Buck speaks up. "Could I— Never mind."

"Hey, no. What is it?" he asks softly.

"You can say no but I was wondering if you would be okay with me seeing him. You can say no," he repeats.

Eddie smiles. "Yes, yes. He would love that. I would love that. He's actually been asking me about you. My neighbour is actually a firefighter. Maybe you know him? Chimney– or well, Howie Han? Christopher wanted to ask him to figure out what station you're at so we could visit."

npt 💞 @moonsharky @steadfastsaturnsrings @hippolotamus @wikiangela

@monsterrae1 @bigfootsmom @underwaterninja13 @spotsandsocks @queerdiaz

@exhuastedpigeon @theotherbuckley @elvensorceress @watchyourbuck

@kitteneddiediaz @bi-buckrights @rainbow-nerdss @neverevan and anyone else who wants to share!!

#nolan writes #mental health helpline fic #buddie #buddie fic #buddie wip

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deep-sea-anemone · 2 days

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You know, when I was younger I used to fantasize/look forward to marriage and the wedding we'd have and the house we'd buy together and the dogs we'd adopt and now I'm older and have had time to reflect a bit, I realize that uh, there was never another person in those fantasies. I literally just wanted to wear a pretty dress, get a pet, and find some beautiful house to call my own. And really, upon realizing that, my ace ass doesn't miss the "marriage" part at all.

What I do miss is the fact that I'll never be able to put on that special dress and I won't have a second income to afford that nice house. And that I also won't really have the time/income to support adopting a child and all of my friends will be busy with THEIR families so I'll just be alone. And I'm still working on coming to terms with that.

#i know i uave pan in my bio and im not taking it out #cause like. you never know #sexuality is fluid. maybe im actually grey #i find every gender hot at least #anyways #my job field has a lower than average salary #so not only would i have to normally work twice as long as a couple #i have to work even LONGER #plus i live next to a major city and the spillover from people moving ip here cause its “pretty and trendy” is jacking up prices everywhere #like you cant even rent a 1bdr apartment for less than $1200 #and houses (1 bedroom) START at $350000 #and ideally I'd want a 3bdr/ 2bdr and an office #1 to sleep in #1 for my craft room #and 1 as a guest room #i want a garage. i want a yard for the dogs. i want a nice catio #i want a shed/shop where i can work on cosplays and projects and not have to worry about the fumes #and i dont think ill ever have that #and itd be fine if we just couldnt afford it #but knowing that im boxing myself in “by choice” kinda stings a little you know?#sigh #aro #aroace #aromantic #asexual #oh and I want a garden too #i like growing herbs for tea and cooking #plus I like to grow those giant sunflowers too #i dont really care about other flowers though

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miyamizuna · 11 hours

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Is it that sweet? I guess so~

Haikyuu boys as lyrics from "Expresso" by Sabrina Carpenter part 1 | part 2 ft. miya atsumu, kuroo tetsuro, semi eita

I can’t relate, to desperation (miya atsumu)

Being the MSBY social media manager means work- especially when it comes to Miya Atsumu. It seems like every other week he gets himself. caught up in controversy. Whether it be him being too touchy with an already-married older actress, or even being spotted on dates with multiple female idols. It’s your job to defend his already poor internet reputation.

“Y/n~ c’mon now, one date is all I'm askin’! Throw me a bone here!” He pleads for the 5th time today. He was sure to be persistent after the many rejections before.

“Miya, how many times do I have to tell you no?” You sigh as you reject him once more to add onto the tally of 56 rejections over the course of a year.

Sure he was attractive, what normal person would say no to a 6’1” professional volleyball player? Sadly you know firsthand about his player activities. You understand it though, a young early twenties male is bound to act like this. though the severity of actions vary on a case-to-case basis; he happens to be on the far end of the spectrum.

“Besides, it’s unprofessional to have a relationship between the two of us. I’m your manager.” You explain to him hoping finally you’d be able to get the message through his thick skull.

“Professional or not, who cares! give me a chance to prove myself! C’mon I've been good recently, no contreveries!” He explains trying to persuade your thoughts.

“If you call being spotted with a married woman in a fancy restaurant ‘good behaviour’, I don’t know what to tell you.” You frown as you avert your eyes from him, back to your laptop, typing out a public apology for Atsumu’s recent events.

With a frown, he steps forward and closes your laptop whilst leaning over your desk. His figure obviously towering over your sitting self.

“Enough of that, It wouldn’t be the same as those famous women who only want me to have an affair. It’s different with you.” He explains with sincerity as if this time he actually means what he says.

You look up at him with a smirk and now with crossing arms, leaning back on your office chair. “Oh really? Maybe when you give me an easier time with your little affairs, I’ll consider it.”

That's when his face lights up and puts on a stupid grin and leans in closer to your ear. i’m

“Oh you bet.” He whispers seductively in your ear before pulling away and walking to the door of the office.

“Well, see ya around Y/n, ya better hold up yer end of this.” He tells you before walking out of your office.

God this man. He's so… desperate for attention!

and I got this one boy, he won’t stop calling (kuroo tetsuro)

42 missed calls. Are you fucking kidding me? You had met this hot guy today at the cafe you work at, he was a tall man in a business suit, kind of built as you could see some of his triceps through the dress shirt, a really classy guy overall, though odd his hair didn’t match the aesthetic. You left your number on his cup just for the slight off chance he wasn’t in a relationship. Clearly, he’s not in one.

You decided to call him back, afterall you were busy with the cafe with the 8 hour shift you had just worked. Now lying on your stomach first, your leg hanging off the bed, you hit the call button.

“Hello?” a male voice says after only one ring.

“Uhm, Hi. You left 42 calls on my phone.” You informed him as if he wasn’t already aware of what he did.

“Oh yeah, I did do that~” He teases through the phone. “So what’s your name, coffee girl?”

“It’s L/N Y/N, and you?” You ask with a semi-interested tone returning the energy of his voice.

“I’m Kuroo Tetsuro. Y/n is a pretty name ya know” He flirts through the phone.

You can just imagine his silly smirk, the same exact one as when he saw the cafe when he read your number, and then the “call me <3” written under it.

“So I take it you’re not taken as you’re calling me” You suggest as you twirl your hair and kick your legs, god you feel like a teenage girl.

“Nah, I’m not taken. Haven’t really had a girlfriend before, closest was talking stages.” he explains you hear the ruffling of papers in the background.

So that explains the 42 calls. Takes a man's guts to admit that.

“You don’t exactly know what you’re doing, don’t you~” You tease as you hear a sigh from the end of the phone.

“Well no- I do know what I’m doing! Just I wanted to get to know you- soon!” He fumbles words trying to explain himself which brings a laugh out of you.

“Suuuure…”

There’s now a long awkward pause in the conversation. In which both of you don’t exactly know what to ask each other next.

“Soo- Are you a full-time worker at that cafe?” He suddenly asks, speaking up to fill the silence.

“Well no, I’m still in college. I’m going there for an English degree. How about you? You seem like you got a pretty good job.” You explain, then follow up with a question about himself.

“Well darling, I’m a sports promoter, specifically for volleyball. I work for the Japanese Volleyball Association.” He informs you with a proud tone.

This does pique your interest, not every day do you meet a guy who works for a sporting association who happens to walk inside a hole-in-the-wall café.

“Well shit, that's cool! Did you play in high school or something?” You ask now, flipping over onto your back to a more comfortable position.

“I did- made it to nationals during my last year.” He answers with a cocky tone. There is more shuffling of papers in the background, maybe he’s still at work-

“Kuroo! We need the papers finalised by tonight!” A voice from the background of his end says with a very demanding tone. Causing him to groan into the phone.

“Well you certainly heard my boss…” He sighs. “Call you back cutie. We still need to finalise our date.” He tells you before hanging up the phone not even leaving time for you to respond to his statement.

“huh…? DATE?” You shout to the void that is your room.

Man, this guy is confident. Both him personally, and you being too willing to give this man a chance. You know one thing though. You’re definitely going to come back to 42 calls again.

I'm working late bc I’m a singer (semi eita)

Oh, Semi Eita, the lead singer and guitarist of his little band. The foundation of what his band is about all stems from him. His rock style is unique, flashy if you call it. He always felt the need to stand out from others. You know that best as his significant other. Since high school, he’s always been a show-off or tried to be. Because of his show-off nature, he was benched on the volleyball team in his 3rd year.

Now here he is, slumped over on his office desk at one in the damn morning, struggling to come up with meaning to his new song.

“You know, Eita, This song must really got you stumped. You haven’t stayed up writing this late in forever.” You smirk leaning on the doorframe to his office. You both know that you’re right.

Eita usually has a set schedule; sleeps at 11 pm, unlike his teen days when he’ll pull all-nighters for fun. He sighs and turns his office chair around.

“Well, I guess you can say that.” He replies as he tiredly smiles at you.

You walk over to his desk, the wood planks creek in the silence of night, and lean over his shoulder to look at the song.

“So what’s this song about?” You ask him while reading the lyrics.

“A boy who fell in love with a girl and sees her with rose-tinted glasses.” He explains as he taps the pen on the paper every few seconds, clearly in thought.

“Well is she a good person, or a bad person.” You ask, sitting yourself at the corner of his desk.

He sits at his desk long in thought. “That’s the thing. I don’t really know.” He admits and he runs a hand through his hair, the other hand twirling the pen around.

“Well when you think of this girl, who do you think of?” You ask him whilst playing with the drawer of his desk that sits above you.

as he sits there in thought, an idea suddenly pops into his head. There is one girl in particular that comes into his head.

“I think of you.” He lets out with a grin as he ruffles your hair, causing you to let put a laugh

“Me, huh? You really love me that much huh..?” You grin in response to his actions, with a proud tone of voice.

“I guess I do huh?” He smiles at your proud self. “I’ll write about you being the girl who I view in rose-tinted glasses,” He says as she writes down his ideas on the paper, making light scribble noises.

That's just when you get up and try dragging him away from the desk.

“You know its bed time right?” You tease and you put him in a headlock and ruffle his hair.

“I’ll be there soon! Just, let me finish noting these ideas down!” He protests and he doesn’t look away from the page despite what you’re doing to him.

You sigh in response and let go of him. Walking to the door in the process.

“Don’t stay up too late. We both know how grumpy you get without your beauty sleep.” You tell him in response to his protests. Finding a good opportunity to tease him in the process.

As you walk out of the room, all you can hear is a grumble in response. All for the fact he knows you’re right.

©miyamizuna 2024 do not repost

espresso is my spotify number 1 rn

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holylulusworld · 23 hours

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I’m your daddy now (3) - Lloyd Hansen

Summary: You reached the end of the rope.

Pairing: Lloyd Hansen x Singlemom!Reader (plussized)

Characters: Ari Levinson

Warnings: plus-sized reader, needy Lloyd, Lloyd being Lloyd, groping, daddy Lloyd (not the kinky kind of daddy), some fluff

A/N: This is part of my Traders of love (lust) masterlist series. It’s the prequel to TOL - Like a virgin (Bucky Barnes) and tells the story about Lloyd and his assistant sunshine. It will lead toward Ari’s story. We will see their relationship throughout all other stories.

Catch up here: TOL - I’m your daddy now (2)

Ari exhales sharply. He’s not amused by Lloyd’s behavior.

The mustache-wearing bastard is shamelessly groping your ass while purring dirty nothings in your ear. “Plump. Sweet. Begging for cream.”

“Lloyd!” You swat his hand away and straighten your skirt blouse. “We have company. You can’t do such a thing while people are around.” You pucker your lips before striding toward the door. “Remember, we have a business to do.”

Lloyd licks his lips. He watches you walk out of the room, groaning loudly. “A hell of a woman I got myself.”

“Congrats,” Ari rolls his eyes. He knows about Lloyd’s endless stream of women roaming his bedroom. “For how long?”

“I’m gonna marry that chubby bug,” Lloyd grins before he tugs at his pants. He’s got a raging hard-on thanks to the woman ruling his mind and office. – You. It’s even worse since he got a taste of you and your perfect cunt. “She’s perfection.” Lloyd grins as he sniffs at his fingers. “She’s got a cute little shit too. Gotta be a daddy for the poor boy. His old man is a deadbeat.”

“Perfection,” Ari doubts that Lloyd will keep his word and marry you, but he says nothing. He came here for a reason, not to fight with Lloyd. “You should be careful if children are involved.

“I told you,” Lloyd grits his teeth, “I’m going to be a daddy for the little shit. I consider renaming him. Lloyd Jr. would be so cute, don’t you think?” He nods to himself. “I only need to convince my sunshine.”

“Lloyd, I came here for a second time because you want to discuss the details of my request later. I assume you had your hands full with your assistant,” Ari crosses his arms over his wide chest. He quirks a brow and waits for Lloyd to grovel.

“What can I do for you, my sexy friend?” Lloyd chuckles. He just loves to toy with people. Even more, since he found you. “I thought everything got discussed last time. My sunshine and I will join one of the dance classes and check your girl out. Maybe she needs a little money for her studio.”

“Lloyd, this is different from the other girls I paid. I want her to be mine,” Ari hesitates to talk about his feelings to a man offering women to wealthy men. He doesn’t believe Lloyd understands the concept of love.

“Love sweet love,” Lloyd smiles dopily. “I’m telling you, spring let me lose my mind. If only she wasn’t wearing those tight pants when I met her. I wouldn’t be so into that slutty little cupcake I call my own.”

“You are disgusting,” Ari sneers at Lloyd’s behavior. “I’m talking about love, not your libido. You’re lucky if your assistant doesn’t cut your balls off in your sleep.”

“That’s actually a great idea,” you say while walking back inside the office. “I got coffee for you, Mr. Levinson, and a disgustingly sweet coffee monstrosity for you, boss.”

Lloyd dips his head to glance at Ari. “I love it when she calls me boss. Gets me rock-hard every time. You wouldn’t believe how much I’m struggling to not have my way with her right now.”

You place the coffee on the small coffee table. “Lloyd!” You tut and glare at him when he tries to grope your ass. “Christ, you’re unbelievable. We have a client here. He wants our help.”

“All work and no fun,” Lloyd glumly replies. He pouts while staring at your tits. You decided on a light summer dress with a high neckline to avoid catching Lloyd’s attention. No such luck. “I wonder if I can make you forget about business.”

“Boss, do your job,” you point your index finger at him. “I already got a child to take care of. I don’t need a second one.”

“I like that one,” Ari throws in. He slowly sips his coffee while watching you and Lloyd interact. “Can we get back to my problem now?”

You nod and turn to leave Lloyd and Ari to their business. You’re still not used to the kind of business you’re involved in since you accepted the job offer. Lloyd takes the opportunity to grab a handful of your ass.

“Lloyd!” You huff and stomp away. It’s not worth it to get mad at him. He’ll only get horny the more you yell at him. Lloyd is a kinky bastard after all. “I should cut his balls off one day. But not his cock. It’s the best part of him.”

“You forgot my mustache,” Lloyd calls after you. “You know you love it, sunshine.” He turns toward Ari. “She loves it.”

“So…” You watch Lloyd rummage around his office. He curses under his breath as he goes on his hands and knees to look for something under the couch. “What are you doing?”

“I dropped something important,” he stretches his arm to reach something under the couch. You step closer to get a better look at his ass. It’s not or never. Payback for all the groping.

Smirking you grab his ass with both hands, groping him roughly through his slacks. You have to admit, he’s got a nice ass.

“Sunshine,” he purrs. “We don’t have time to get down and dirty. I need you to help me with something.”

“I swear,” you slap his ass, “if you get your dick out again and call it a surprise, I’ll follow Ari’s suggestion and cut it off.”

Lloyd huffs as he slowly gets back up. He hastily stuffs something in his pocket before looking you up and down. “He said balls, not my dick,” Lloyd smirks when you take a step back. “I see you can’t keep your hands off my perfect ass, huh? Do you want to feel me up some more?”

“We wanted to talk about your client. You remember your client, Ari Levinson, right? You mentioned a dance class and today he talked about it again. What is your plan now?”

“We’ll attend his chosen girl’s dance class and will find out more about her. That woman tries to make my job harder. She’s not on social media and pays cash,” Lloyd pouts. “I thought this would be an easy job, but no, Ari doesn’t want me to threaten her business. It would’ve been so much easier if he just played the knight in shiny armor after manipulating her business.”

“You’re so romantic.”

“Romance is for losers, Y/N. I believe in horniness and my pussy-detector,” Lloyd points at his crotch. “If little Lloyd likes you, it’s true love.” He grins, proud of himself. “Come on, let’s get home. The little shit is waiting for his daddy to read him one of the new books I bought.”

“When did you have the time to buy a book?”

“It’s called online shopping,” he huffs. “I don’t have the time to waste my time in a dusty bookstore.”

You quirk a brow. After you let him do unspeakable things to you for the first time, Lloyd is unstoppable. He wanted you and your son to move in with him. Lloyd even hired an interior designer to turn two of his guestrooms into a bedroom and a playroom for your son.

If only you could believe him that he wants to be more than the guy stuffing your pussy.

“Fine,” you sigh, too tired to argue. “The babysitter wants to go home too. Let’s go. We still need to talk about Mr. Levinson and your plan.”

He wraps one arm around your waist and kisses your cheek. “Does going home include a little action for the tiger in my pants?”

“I thought it was a python?”

“Who cares?” He groans. “There’s a whole jungle in my pants and it all belongs to you, sunshine…”

“…and then the little ant kicked the evil toad’s ass,” Lloyd closes the book, a big smirk on his face. “Son, how did you like the book?”

“Cool,” your son gasps. He’s still mesmerized by all the voices Lloyd imitated while reading the book he found online to your son. “I like the ant the most.”

“Tomorrow, we will read about his next adventure. I bet he’ll kick more ass.” Lloyd runs his hand over your son’s head, gently patting the little boy. “…can’t believe that deadbeat left a cute little shit like you.”

“Lloyd!” You tut. “You promised to stop calling my son little shit!”

“Our son,” he corrects. “How about you wait in our bedroom for me and the python fighting my pants? I got something to discuss with Lloyd Jr.”

You kiss your son’s forehead and wish him a good night. He refuses to sleep in your bedroom since he has his own room at Lloyd’s house. “We won’t rename my son. This is my last word.”

“If only…” Llyod grins. “Now…go to bed mommy. We men need to talk about something…”

You reluctantly leave the room, looking over your shoulder before you reach the door. “No swear words, Lloyd.”

“I wouldn’t dream of swearing next to our baby boy.”

“You’re a bad liar.”

“I love you too, sugar cake,” he grins. “I’ll be right with you.”

The moment you are out of the room Lloyd gets something out of his pocket. He shows it to your son, smirking. “What do you say, little shit? Will she like the ring?”

Tags in reblog.

#I’m your daddy now (3)#lloyd hansen #lloyd hansen x reader #lloyd hansen x you #lloyd hansen x y/n #plussized reader #chubby reader #Lloyd Hansen x Singlemom!Reader

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bonefall · 2 days

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the people making haha funny inbred jokes and then insisting it's because they care about incest victims make me want to rip my hair out. i'm hesitant to say i'm an incest victim but i was sexually abused by a family member (yea i know the logic there's weird i'm goin through it) and like, half the reason i don't tell people about it is because they either see it as a joke or as something SO disgusting and taboo that it taints how they see me. victims of incest, people who were SA'd by family, ect are just people. some of us are probably your friends. making incest into an unmentionable taboo doesn't make it go away it just makes its victims more isolated and ashamed of something they had no say in.

thank you for talking about this shit. i know at the end of the day we're all discussing a series about talking kitty cats written for children but like... seeing incest be talked about as a problem, but a problem that can be discussed openly is meaningful to me. seeing victims treated like victims and not just extensions of a joke or a taboo is way too rare.

The TRUE sign of being a victim of incest is sitting there going, "I'm not a victim of incest. I was simply sexually abused by a family member. Yes I know this sounds like bad logic when I say it out loud. But a REAL victim of incest would not feel this way. Here are the top 10 reasons why what happened to me was totally not incest and I'm actually being fucked up and evil for even considering myself as maybe that label"

TL;DR I'm right in the weird going-through-it stage with you nonnie lmao. Being an "imperfect" victim sucks.

We'll get through it together. I've gotten several comments in the past day thanking me for saying something about the Moonpaw situation, some mentioning that they were too afraid to speak up about this, and that's just... sad to me. I know exactly why everyone stays quiet, some of the messages I've gotten have been downright insufferable.

No one should have to take open mockery or ableism. The circumstances of your birth, or the abuse you've gone through, does not taint you.

I hope this space feels safe. I hope my words and my actions are a comfort. If you need help or resources at any point because the discussion is triggering, please follow Badgerstep's advice and reach out to RAINN.

#incest mention #RAINN #sex abuse mention #mooncourse

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thirstyvampyr · 3 days

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did mickey knew ian was gay before they hooked up? *cracks knuckles* alright sit down let's unpack this shit because yesterday for dinner ive had 4 snickers and im still not down from that sugar high. shutup

in 1x6 he's waiting outside kash and grab to beat up ian. why is he nervous? he beat up lip a few days ago, he beats up dudes on the regular. s1 ian isnt exactly intimidating (sorry ian). is he wary of linda because she has more balls than her husband? sure but he wouldn't be smoking and biting his nails. as a former smoker and nail biter, you don't usually do both unless you’re S T R E S S E D. he’s there alone this time. why did he call off his cousins? maybe stalking the store so much made him notice what was going on with kash *spits on the ground*. maybe he overheard when ian told mandy he was gay right outside their house in 1x3. i don't think mandy told him but she could have.

so back to 1x6. mickey cleans up (a little) and goes to the store to provoke ian. "i forgot the dip" no you didnt, you just needed an excuse to go back in because ian showed up. ian says to kash *burns sage to cleanse myself* "what, so you're just going to let him keep coming in here, and take what he wants?" uh oh actually, yes he will! oops getting sidetracked. mickey tells him "you know where i live if you have a problem". *gestures vaguely* if not gay then why everything? to me, this is textbook boy at school pulling on pigtails and running because he has a big crush. and i mean how many opportunities are there for a closeted gay kid in this neighborhood? ian is cute as a button, he's probably checked him out. "where's firecrotch?!" sir have you put much thoughts into that part of his anatomy? we know he likes redheads...

fast forward to 1x7, that scene (changed my life tbh). mickey's probably loving how fearless ian is. there's only so much grunting and physical contact he can take before he folds (ask ancient romans). he's about 16 in season 1, he's probably climbing up the walls horny and ian gave him the look™ (ian u big hoe) and yet i firmly believe he would have never made a move if he didn't know. hell no, no way! and risk having ian yell something with terry in the next room? with how terrified he is about his father?

what do you think? did he know or did he just went for it?

#shameless #mickey milkovich #ian gallagher #gallavich #thx for coming to my ted talk #hope i make sense #apologies for the english i learned with memes and gamers ok

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silken-moonlight · 8 hours

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Older Alpha x Human waitress/ The Elegence Series Part 8

A/N: Since I will be working for the next couple days, I have a shorter new chapter for you guys today. I like this one a lot.

[Your POV]

The booth the three of you sat in was comfortable, with three armchairs and some very old and torn carpet beneath your shoes. Nick's Cave had several booths like this where you could sit and talk. The dance floor was on the other side of the room, so there was enough space between the two areas.

Desmond looked a little out of place in his dress shirt and pants, as if he had been dragged along. The old armchairs and relatively cheap drinks seemed out of place for him. You realized once again how handsome and attractive he was. Your eyes roamed his face as he listened to his brother. The slightest smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, and the gaze in his eyes when he watched his brother was filled with affection. His blue eyes showed genuine interest in his brother. His beard looked well-kept and soft...for a moment, you imagined what it would be like to kiss him. You tried to think of something else, blushing and quickly looking away from him. Sipping from your cocktail instead.

"Dad never changed. He is still an asshole, I keep him out of all decisions. While I value and respect his experience, his ways are neither modern nor as effective as they could be." Desmond told Will, who listened. "You know, I never thought I would say this, but I agree with you. What you're doing with the pack actually sounds good." Desmond smiled again; he did it more often these days.

"Thank you, Will. I appreciate your words. I strive to make it a good pack." His gaze went to you, and you gave him a coy smile, still thinking about your little daydream of kissing him.

"She has a great relationship with her parents,” Will told Desmond. “She still has daddy issues, so you have a chance, Des.” “Will!” you exclaimed, throwing your napkin at him and blushing extremely. Unable to meet Desmond’s eyes, you could hear him chuckle. It was a deep, rich sound. By the moon, was this all embarrassing for you right now? “Oh, come on, my brother’s a catch,” Will teased both of you.

You lifted your gaze from the ground to Desmond. He looked at you with a smile. "No need to be shy, sweetheart. He just wants to tease us." You laughed nervously and nodded, sipping again from your drink. At this rate, you would be tipsy in the next ten minutes. Maybe you... could shut up Will by then.

You dealt with the alcohol in your system. You felt a little bold and a little curious. "What position do you have in your pack?" you asked Desmond. His eyes were filled with smugness when he answered, "I am the alpha of my pack." You knew that; you just wanted to open the conversation somehow. "And how is that? It must be stressful, doesn't it?"

"At times, yes. These days, it's a lot of paperwork and a lot of responsibility. A lot of politics, too. You have to balance your private life and your position as a leader. My life lacks a partner, my mate, so I spend most of the time more as an Alpha than an individual." There was a strange tug in your chest; you wanted to comfort him. "I rarely take the time for myself to relax unless I'm at my lake house," he added while you listened. "That sounds...lonely." This earned you a sad smile. "I'm used to it, darling. Sometimes we have to sacrifice everything so others can live better." You smiled with a touch of sadness. "I absolutely understand what you mean. We give what we can give and take the little we deserve."

"Still...there are also good sides. Many, no, plenty. I believe you would like my pack and where most of our pack lives," Desmond said while sipping his whiskey. You were all interested now. "Tell me about it." Desmond's smile grew wider. "We live up in the Starfall mountains. We've got a little village where we do everything from. That's where most of the pack lives. We also have many pack members outside of the village. Many study, live somewhere else, or have other reasons." He explained further and leaned towards you. He smelled so good, you wanted Nothing more than to bury your nose in his neck and stay there.

You stopped yourself at that thought. Gods, you were such a creep, you told yourself. Still, you leaned in as well, your shoulders touching as he pulled out his phone to show you some pictures of the pack and the region.

"It looks so peaceful there." You heard yourself say. "Are humans allowed there? I know some werewolf communities do not like humans to be around." You asked and looked up at him. You could get lost in those eyes. Maybe you imagined it, but you could see the sky of the Starfall mountains. Maybe even the surface of lakes on rainy days. Thunderstorm eyes, with yearning in their gaze, your breath was caught. What had he seen? What had he felt? What made him, him?

You realized that there was silence between the two of you, his gaze still on you. "I am so sorry...When I'm tipsy I get lost in details and I admired your eyes." Desmond chuckled and answered, "No worries, Darling, but be careful with looking so intensely into the eyes of a wolf. They can interpret it very differently...." His voice was almost a purr, and you felt yourself blushing again.

"Oh my gods, get a room, you animals!" Will said and laughed so hard that he began to hiccup, and tears were slipping out of his eyes. You looked away, embarrassed not only by yourself but also by the comment of your best friend.

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xoxochb · 1 day

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Heyooo!!!!! 🫶🏻 could I request a leo x reader where the reader’s on the lifeguard stand and he’s just flirting with her. He just keeps finding excuses to come up to you and starts acting like an idiot in the ocean so you pay attention to him 😭 He’s totally the kinda guy to pretend to drown so he can get a ‘kiss’ lol

The others are like dude she’s just gonna ignore you, but the reader actually starts to flirt back. (Maybe they’re already friends or maybe not idk) And it’s just the two of them going back and forth with bad pick-up lines and stuff

Just a cute story about how the two got together ☀️🏖️

oh, he looks so cute wrapped around my finger

warnings: kissing, but it’s nothing graphic

pairing: leo valdez x fem lifeguard reader

summary: kind of what the request said, but I added some of my own ideas with it

A/N: I’m not sure if I like this tbh 😭

“you wanna hear a pickup line?”

you sigh when you hear the voice, “sure”

“you must be the reason for global warming because you’re hot”

“I’m flattered” you roll your eyes

“wait I have another one”

“of course you do”

“are you the eiffel tower? because I fell (eiffel) for you”

“leo, that’s so overused” you run your fingers down your face

“I’ve got another-”

you cut him off “no you don’t”

he sighs “wanna swim with me?”

“I’m on duty” you cross your arms

“you could always take a break” he suggested

“and lose my job? I don’t think so” you remarked

“okay… well I’ll just swim by myself I guess” he kicks the sand

“okay” you state

he walks away, and you know is plan. He’s done it many times, he’s going to pretend to drown so you can save him

you watch as he tries to pretend that he can’t swim, occasionally falling into the water, and with a sigh you get up from your seat and walk to the shore

when you get there you see him come up from the water, coughing, and when he sees you he starts fake coughing more

“y/n” he says between coughs “I can’t breathe, I think I need mouth to mouth”

“oh yes, I think that’s a good idea, let me come to you” you walk over to him in the water

once your close enough to him you put your hands on his shoulders, and you know your plan is working when he leans in, thinking his plan will work

you place a hand over his mouth, “you earn it”

he takes your hand away and frowns “I’ll do anything”

“anything?” you smirk

he averts his gaze from your eyes to your lips, “yes”

“go underwater for one minute without coming up for air” you say quietly

he thinks for a second, “I’ll do it”

“great!” you clap your hands

he takes a deep breath and then he goes underwater. After thirty seconds he comes up for air

“was that a minute?” he asks smiling

“thirty seconds” you reply

“then I earn half a prize?” he requests

“that’s not how it works, try again”

and he does

six more times, and when he reaches the seventh time he finally reaches sixty seconds

“I did it! do I earn a kiss now?” he smiles

“It’s not that simple” you laugh

he fakes a pout

“I don’t feel bad for you”

he pretends to fake cry

“don’t be stupid leo” you smack his head

“this is unfair, I almost drowned and this is how I’m treated?” he says

“cry me a river”

“just one kiss, that’s it” he says

you sigh and think for a second. who are you to say no to him? after a year of him doing everything in his power to win you over, which includes him risking his life, he deserves this.

you kiss him, and you swear you’ve never seen anyone so eager to kiss back in your life

after a few seconds you try to pull away but he quickly tangles his hand in your hair to keep you close, and you let him, you’ve secretly wanted this since you met him

you wrap your arms around his neck and he moves his arms to your waist. you knew you only agreed to one kiss but you’ve yearned for this, and he earned it after all those months

you begin to wonder why you waited this long, but at this point nothing else matters but the boy who’s lips are pressed to your own

#percy jackon and the olympians #pjo series #percy jackson #pjo fandom #pjo #percy series #pjo hoo toa #xoxochb #heroes of olympus #leo valdez x y/n #leo valdez x you #leo valdez x reader

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fraddit · 2 days

Text

Buddie Fic Fragment No. 1

1k words | teen | complete

Tags: love confession, unrequited love, bucktommy break up, angst, ambiguous/open ending, Eddie Diaz being mean to himself

The person knocking is exactly who Buck had hoped it wouldn’t be. Eddie has his determined face on when Buck opens the door, so this is exactly what he’d been hoping to avoid. Well… It’d been nice while it lasted.

Except, it hadn’t actually been nice. Buck has been acting weird for the last two weeks, despite his best efforts, and Eddie’s obviously noticed.

“What’s going on, Buck?” Eddie asks without so much as a hello, as Buck steps aside to let him in. He looks as tired and worn down as he always does these days. Since Chris left.

“Funny, I was about to ask you that, since you’re the one that showed up my door unexpectedly,” Buck answers, like maybe he can still play this whole thing off. It earns him one of Eddie’s champion side-eyes.

“You’ve been acting weird for the last two weeks and trying to hide it. You think I haven’t noticed?”

“Have I?” He heads to the fridge. It’s partly out of habit, but mostly out of an excuse to put some distance between him and Eddie — who shakes his head no when Buck asks via body language, if he wants a beer.

Buck doesn’t want one either, so he shuts the fridge, empty handed, and retreats further behind the safety of the kitchen island. He tucks himself into the corner and leans against the cabinets next to the sink.

“You know you have. I know you have. The rest of the team knows you have,” Eddie says stepping closer, but staying on his side of the room. “And I’ve been waiting for you to come to me with whatever it is, but you haven’t. I thought you knew that you can tell me anything. Do you not— Do you not trust me? Did I do something to—“

“I’m in love with you,” Buck shoves out because he can’t live with Eddie worrying that Buck could somehow ever not trust him.

“— piss you off or make you think that… What?” Eddie freezes. Stares at him with complete and total shock on his beautiful face.

This is exactly what Buck was afraid of, but… the band-aid’s off, now. In a way it’s a relief.

“I’m in love with you. That’s why I’ve been acting like a freak. I know you don’t feel the same way, so I was hoping I could just keep it to myself but I…”

“You suck at keeping things from me,” he finishes, breaking eye contact and looking down at the island where he carefully spreads his hands across the laminate surface, like he needs something to hold him up.

“I suck at keeping things from you.”

Eddie doesn’t move. Stays totally still. Buck can practically see the gears turning in his head as he absorbs Buck’s confession. “This doesn’t change anything between us okay?” he says, still staring at the countertop. But then he looks up. Looks Buck square in the eye. “I love you. Not— Not the way you love me. But, I love you.”

It’s so so close to what he’d told Buck several months ago, when Buck came out to him. It had made him feel better then.

It doesn’t now.

“I know you do, Eddie,” and they can both hear how heartbroken and resigned he sounds. He already knew all this. So why does it hurt so much to hear it?

The silence of the moment draws out uncomfortably between them.

Then something clearly occurs to Eddie. “Tell me this isn’t why you broke up with Tommy.”

And well… Buck can’t tell him that, so he doesn’t say anything. Instead he looks down at the floor in front of his feet. There’s a dark purple spot of dried smoothie splatter on of the tiles.

“Buck! Really?!”

“What do you expect me to say, Eddie?” he asks with enough exasperation to finally look at him again. “It’s not like once I realized how I feel about you, we could just keep on dating. That wouldn’t have been fair to him!”

“Except that Tommy’s—“ Eddie slams his mouth shut and drags his hands down his face.

“Tommy’s what?”

“Nothing,” Eddie says, hands falling limp at his side. “Forget it.”

Buck steps out from around the island but keeps a few stools between them. “No, Eddie. Tommy’s what?”

“Tommy’s actually a good guy!” Eddie barks out before looking immediately shocked he said it at all.

“Tommy’s a great guy.” And at first, Buck doesn’t understand what that has to do with anything. Then he realizes what Eddie actually meant. “But Eddie… So are you.”

“Track record says you’re wrong.”

“What track record?”

“My track record! Shannon. My team in the army. Ana. Marisol. Kim. My kid who is currently 700 miles away because he can’t even look at me. My— my whole life, Buck! All I do is let people down.”

“Eddie, is that what you think of yourself?”

“Pretty hard to think anything else, at this point,” he says before leaning back against the counter and crossing his arms protectively.

And now Buck’s heart is breaking for an entirely different reason. “Eddie…” He’d get closer, try to offer some sort of physical comfort, but Eddie turns his head away, looks toward the door like he’s about to bolt. So, Buck stays where he is.

“Eddie, you’re my favorite person.”

“Well, I shouldn’t be.”

“You don’t get to decide that. You don’t get to decide how I feel about you. And to be honest, I don’t know how I could ever feel any other way about you. Not when you’re brave and kind and compassionate and caring and thoughtful. And you’re a really great dad.” Eddie gives the barest shake of his head at that. “You are. I know you don’t feel like it right now, but you are. You are, Eddie. And you’re a really good friend, too. And you have never let me down.”

Eddie scoffs and wipes away a tear that was about to fall. “Just a matter of time, Buck.”

#buddie #buddie fic #buddie fanfiction #eddie diaz #evan buckley #911 #911 abc #made by fraddit #911 by fraddit #shut up fraddit

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faithisyours · 17 hours

Text

Something to Tell

Azriel x Ace Fem!reader

Summary: You and Azriel are recently mated. You decide to take things slow, but you have something personal to tell Az.

Warnings: coming out, fluff

Word Count: 965

A/N: Sup y’all. Sorry I’ve been absent, a lot of shit happened. Anyways, I really just wrote this one for me. I think the topic of asexuality is really left out of this book series and fandom, understandably so, but I think it would be an interesting subject to discuss, so I’m here to fulfill my own wishes. Given the lore and rules around mates, I don't even know if this could be considered a thing, but I’m gonna try my hardest to make it a thing for my ace baddies out there. IDK if I’m gonna make this a series or not (probably won’t), but maybe see how people like it before making decisions. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to tell me. As always, minors gtfo. Adults, you enjoy!

You’re just finishing up bottling an allergy tonic for your neighbor’s son when the door to your apothecary opens, the bell above ringing out. You know exactly who it is, and you are simultaneously filled with dread and relief. Azriel, your freshly bonded mate, walks into the back room where you are working, his big Illarian boots creaking the floorboards wherever he steps. When you look up to greet him he gives you a soft smile, a smile you return.

You’ve known Azriel for a little over a year now, ever since Mor begged him to come pick up her sleeping tonic from you because she had been busy. But the bond haden’t snapped for either of you until roughly a month ago, when you were out drinking at Rita’s with the inner circle, per Nesta’s invite. Over the years you had grown close with the inner circle, specifically Mor and Nesta. What had started out as small talk when they came to pick up a tonic had blossomed into a beautiful friendship.

But the last thing in the world you had wanted to happen was to form a bond with someone, especially someone as good and sweet and caring as Azriel. Sure, he is beautiful, you of all people can see that, but the physical attraction stops there, like it always does. Emotionally you two are very compatible, sharing similar interests in books, music, and dancing. After the bond had snapped you both decided to take things slowly, moreso for your sake than his. Every day you grow more and more in love with him; you’re just terrified to see the disappointment and confusion in his eyes after you tell him you’re ace.

“Almost ready to go, Love?” Azriel asks, his eyes following the skilled movements of your hands.

“Almost done,” you respond, screwing the cap and writing the label onto the bottle quickly. You buss your wok table, putting away ingredients and empty bottles. You look over everything twice more, checking for anything out of place, but also as a means to stall. You are dreading this conversation.

“Looks good, Love. Want me to grab your coat?” You turn to him, a small smile on your lips, and grab his hand, gently cradling it in yours.

“Actually… Can I talk to you for a minute before we leave? I need to tell you something.”

“Ya, of course,” he squeezes your hand gently, reassuringly. “What’s up?” You take a deep breath and guide him to sit in one of the chairs at your work table, then pull one towards yourself so you're sitting in front of him. You take both his hands in yours. You don’t make eye contact but instead stare at your hands intertwined.

“There’s something I need to tell you about myself and I need you to listen and let me explain before you say anything,” you look up to see him nodding, a look of concern and confusion on his face. The knot in your stomach is twisting. Your anxiety is through the roof, but you take a deep, albeit shaky, breath to steady yourself.

“Okay. I don’t really know how to go about saying this so I’m just gonna say it. I’m asexual, which means I form little to no sexual attraction, in my case none at all, to anyone. Which means the likelihood of me wanting to have sex with you is basically zero. I know it’s kind of a thing for mates to do it all the time, and so I thought since I am the way I am that I would never form a bond with anyone, but I guess I was wrong. And I know you're probably thinking, “well, didn’t the bond snapping make you feel anything like that?” and the answer would be no. Umm…I guess I just want to add and say that I’m not broken, and that life will be a little different with me, and that I know my boundaries, but I’m also willing to try things with you because I love you and trust you… And this doesn’t mean I don't find you attractive, because I do, I think you're really pretty, but it's more in a ‘I want to paint you’ sort of way instead of an ‘I want to fuck you’ sort of way. And I’m rambling so I’m going to stop now.”

Your leg is bouncing up and down, gaze still glued to your entwined hand. A beat of silence passes, and then he squeezes your hands, which in turn makes you look up at him. His eyes are full of understanding and love, emotions you were not expecting to see. You exhale the breath you didn’t realize you were holding, feeling some of your anxiety fade away.

“You think I’m pretty?” he asks, a cheeky grin plastered on his face. You roll your eyes at him, the last of your anxiety washing away. He stands and pulls you up to do the same. He releases one of your hands, using his to brush a rouge strand of hair behind your ear, then pulls you into a tight embrace. You’re taken off guard, but you melt into him, breathing in his crisp, piny scent.

“Thank you for telling me,” he squeezes you tighter. “And I know you said life will be different with you and I want to let you know I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love you, and I know we can work through any problems we may face. You are perfect. Cauldron boil me if I ever so much as think to change a single thing about you.”

And with that, he releases you from his embrace, you wipe the few tears that had welled at his words, and you go home.

#acotar #azriel fanfiction #azriel fluff #azriel x reader #ace pride #fluff #acotar fic #azriel shadowsinger #fanfiction

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lilacxquartz · 10 hours

Text

under the bed, where midnight slept

oc male!demon x human female!reader

plot: haunted by a strange presence every night before you go to sleep, you decide to get to the bottom of it.

w.c: 2.4k

tags/themes: one shot, oc, maybe light yandere, kissing mentioned, incubus, demons, reader insert, first person pov, light horror, unrequited feelings

side notes: developed a incubus demon oc a couple of days ago :) his name is midnight & i’m basically gonna try writing for him on and off to flesh out his character (but i can’t draw more of him just yet due to the arm situation).

***

I always went to sleep alone.

Or at least, that’s what I kept telling myself—that’s what I wanted to believe. I lived by myself, after all, so it would have been silly to assume otherwise.

Yet, every single night, I felt it. A presence that lurked within the shadows, watching my every move.

At first, I chalked it up to simple exhaustion, convinced that my job was finally getting to me in the worst possible way. I worked long and heavy hours throughout the week, sometimes even during weekends. My unfortunate reality meant that I was often very tired, leading me to usually be on the brink of dozing off by the end of my shift.

But then my mind began to wander, especially as the recurring experiences became more and more commonplace. My secondary suspicion was that I must have been dreaming or I must have been hallucinating, however, why were the happenings then so linear? I had been under stress before and I have had many nightmares in my life—yet those always manifested in a chaotic manner instead.

And that’s exactly what started to bother me, because dreams, while recurring, couldn’t have been so perfectly refined.

It was always the same experience, in fact.

I would lie down in bed and just as I was on the verge of sleep, I’d hear it—a whisper of some sort, faint and scratchy, like an out of tune radio. Then the floorboards would softly creak and I would feel the second thing; the unmistakable presence of something, maybe even someone else entering my personal space.

For just a split second, right at the cusp of entering the unconscious world; I would feel a strange warmth fill out my otherwise vacant hand. Something unseen that would latch onto my palm, weaving what felt like fingers through mine and squeezing tight.

Yet if I awoke during the night for whatever reason at all, it would immediately vanish from my grasp.

I even checked under the bed with a flashlight once, never finding a single shred of evidence.

And in the mornings, the presence wasn’t felt at all.

Although sometimes, a trace of it did remain; a hint of something that was left behind. It was during the nights when I would get up to drink some water from the kitchen or to go use the bathroom, that I didn’t feel entirely alone. It was an unsettling feeling but it was there—lurking in my peripheral vision, just barely staying hidden.

It was the presence of something uninvited.

Whenever I’d flick the lights on however, there would be absolutely nothing. Not a single trace of evidence remained. Lost overnight, like a distant dream.

It would either happen just as I was about to fall asleep or not at all.

Despite this, it never truly felt like it was a problem.

For one, it wasn’t as if it was actually disrupting my sleep. In fact, I would always wake up feeling well rested with each fresh day no matter how overworked I would be. Yet, I couldn’t quite shake the feeling that there must have been more to all of this. Something that lurked in the back of my mind that refused to let it go as an unsolved mystery.

It made sense given my stubborn personality, I supposed. I knew that there had to be a reason for it all, no matter how insane it all seemed.

So when my unrelenting curiosity finally caved in, I could no longer ignore the unanswered question, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to let it go until I finally found an answer.

Whether it was all in my head or not—I had the right to know.

So, on one particular night, I chose to catch whatever it actually was that lurked away in the shadows. My plan was simple enough; choosing to fool it into showing itself by pretending to sleep. I slipped two wireless earbuds into my ears, tuning them into a podcast to hold my attention before laying off to my side, just like usual.

To ensure that I would actually stay awake however, I would on occasion stretch out my legs or clench my fists to ward off any hints of exhaustion along with deep, slowly measured breaths that casted the illusion of feigned slumber.

I continued with that sort of ritual in mind, just barely hanging onto my remaining consciousness, just about to fall asleep from what I believed to be a failed effort, but that’s also right about when I finally heard it; a subtle creaking, perfectly timed with each drawn out breath to mask its approach.

A shiver of unease crept into my body as I felt a lurking presence loom behind me, confirming to every sense I had that I was no longer alone.

In an attempt of bravery, I continued to feign sleep for as long as I possibly could, staying tucked away into my assigned position, having my hand right where it always was, hoping to successfully delude whatever it was waiting for me that I was actually on the verge of dreaming.

However, the moment that something slipped into my waiting hand, my composure began to crumble away. It was definitely a hand that I felt. I could feel it with every fibre of my being, in fact; so warm and soft, yet with an unsettling firmness, like marbled flesh. It clasped my palm tightly, interlocking its digits between my fingers in what felt like a suffocating grip.

My breath then caught in the back of my throat as the momentum faltered despite my efforts to keep my act running as smooth as possible. Towards the surface of my back, I felt something dangerous settle right behind me. Raw skin, hot against my own, pressed up right against my exposed flesh. A wave of panic coursed through my body, anchoring in the pit of my stomach as I then soon felt something attempt to embrace me.

I gasped in retaliation, unintentionally giving away that I was in fact awake.

Without even waiting for its reaction, my body involuntarily tensed, prompting for it to withdraw slightly and with a surge of adrenaline, I then tore away from the unknown presence—lurching to the other side of the bed and pressing my back right up against the wall.

I knew for a fact that it disliked bright lights, so my next course of action was to seize the opportunity of the moonlight that shone right outside to reveal its identity to me instead. With a swift pinch, I flung the blinds open, bathing my bedroom in a cold glow that revealed a monstrous figure to me, basking it in the soft blue light.

At first when I saw it, I didn’t really have a reaction.

I was left feeling stunned… speechless, even.

It was so beyond anything I could comprehend from this world, that I was left rendered unable to form a single coherent thought.

I mean, who could do anything different in my shoes?

Just over the bed sat a kneeling figure; its form shrouded entirely in wisping shadows—its body flickering like black fire with tendrils of darkness whipping from its void-like core. The creature’s eyes glowed a pale grey with lacking pupils, yet I knew that its gaze was pointed right at me.

My eyes continued to widen as I studied it—a rushed slurry of internal scolding flooding my mind, telling me off for daring to be so curious.

Back then, I didn’t know what to expect.

But it certainly wasn’t a monster.

Still, in spite of my fear, I couldn’t pass on the opportunity to learn more about the entity I shared a living space with.

With trembling courage and an insecure tone, I managed to utter, “What… are you?”

The creature’s initial reaction in response to me was to remain stationary, as if showing hesitation within its otherwise threatening demeanour. It then tilted its head to the side, emitting a low static-like hum that only continued to feed further into my unease.

Finally, however, it spoke.

“Don’t be afraid,” were its first words ever to me; it had a deep and almost melodic voice, almost human-like but tainted with something deceptive below the surface. I felt like a deluded sailor talking to a siren lost at sea, yet I was right at home.

I choked back any possible response I had brewing in the back of my mind though, paralysed by my own panic that locked my words somewhere far away. My heart thundered deep within my chest, drowning out all remaining rational thought and sent waves of fear coursing through my entire body.

I was trapped.

A tense moment passed us both by as nothing was said for a while, but then it started to back away from the bed and slowly arose to reveal its true height. Its features became clearer in the moonlight, revealing protruding horns from its head with long wavy locks of black hair.

I gulped hard as I watched it straighten its back and tower over me, its height just barely contained by the confines of my own bedroom—its horns almost scraping against the ceiling. I could just hardly, if at all, comprehend just how tall this creature truly was.

“I only wish to comfort you,” it insisted, taking a calculated step back. Whether it was to lull me into a false sense of security or not, I couldn’t be too certain and despite its words, I couldn’t shake the feeling of impending dread of it being an actual monster, at least at first.

Such a bizarre and surreal display left me wondering if I was in fact dreaming; my mind desperately grasping at anything that could have explained the impossible sight before me, but upon pinching my own skin, only the sharp sting of reality remained.

“Y-you’re real?” I could only ask, a hint of dismay colouring my voice.

“Yes,” it nodded, confirming my fears.

Another strained silence brewed between us for another minute. I stared at the monster and it looked directly back at me. I did my best in the meantime to express my visual discomfort, hoping that it would continue to leave me alone, however, it instead misinterpreted my stunned silence as an invitation to move forward and close the distance between us.

As it leaned in, I pressed myself harder against the wall in a last attempt to convey my reluctance, hoping—praying, that it would take it as a hint to finally back off, but it persisted, ignoring my silent protest and leaving me frozen from fear instead.

With continued building terror, I watched as the creature reached out, extending its hand towards me with what appeared to be sharp fingernails—brushing against my face before cupping my cheeks. I felt its fingers curl around the base of my skull, pulling me closer than what I was comfortable with, daring to press its face against my own, planting a kiss upon my lips.

I shuddered in relief as it slowly withdrew, leaving me once again separated away from it by a short distance. I still couldn’t make out a single feature on its form despite such closeness and yet the memory of its lips on mine lingered with the taste of its ashen breath.

I couldn’t help but feel violated after, yet some familiarity brewed, prompting a disturbing revelation to consider; has this thing done something similar to me before—perhaps when I was fast asleep?

My mind stirred at the thought either way, leaving behind a chill of unrelenting unease that rolled down my spine.

The monster continued to back away until it stood a comfortable distance away from me, leaving me feeling somehow confused. It was a strange situation no matter how I looked at it; it didn’t seem to want to harm nor consume me, rather only offering its touch and comfort.

It was almost as if it sought companionship from me instead.

I watched warily as it drifted just a little closer once more, as if struggling with its own inability to stay away.

“Please,” it pleaded, its tone bordering on desperate, “I only wish for you to sleep well.”

Perhaps it was the lingering aftermath of the kiss that was clouding my judgement, or maybe it was the lack of sleep after a long day, but something within me urged for me to finally surrender to its will, to let my guard down at long last.

Even if it didn’t feel like it was my own decision, at the time.

Swayed by a force unseen, relaxing my senses like some type of sedative.

So against my better judgement, I reluctantly gave in with a reassuring nod, allowing for it to move closer again all the while I did the same.

It wasn’t that I was suddenly unafraid of the monster that was on my bed, rather that I wanted for the peaceful nights to continue.

They were all I had left going for me in this otherwise unforgiving world, my only remaining comfort at the end of a long day.

I proceeded to lay back down on the bed, turning my body off to the side as usual, feeling its presence press against me once more. Its form seemed to envelop me; the shadows that spilled from its core encasing me in a suffocating shroud that pulled me into the darkness along with it. I felt as my own body gradually stiffened, slowly losing the ability to move a single inch at all, yet oddly enough, I didn’t feel a single hint of dread at all anymore.

All I felt was its comfort and warmth instead.

My eyelids drooped heavily as I finally surrendered to my own exhaustion, feeling them weld shut.

I then felt as the monster tightened its grip around me, pulling me even deeper into its personal space. Its breath felt fiery against my flesh as it dug its face into the crook of my neck, displaying an almost protective and maybe even wanting embrace.

As I drifted off into sleep and as its hold continued to tighten, it whispered something into my ear just as I was about to truly go under.

With a body that could have been sculpted from fire alone, its words felt somehow chilling and devoid of any remaining warmth. Its voice was no longer laced with a friendly tone, instead spiked with something much more sinister in its place.

“I’m never letting you go.”

And in that moment, everything changed.

My life was never the same again.

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danieyells · 3 days

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hai again :3 idk if youve already done him but can you do tohmas voicelines? he is sooo interesting i, once again, want to study him

Tohma is one of the I think two characters I haven't been asked to do yet!! I think he wouldn't appreciate you studying him either, anon, but I think he'd be willing to let you studying him becuase he didn't think you could actually succeed. . .but if you did, he'd have other uses for you lol

ANYWAY VOICELINES his are. Pretty expected in their nature lol he's like ritsu in that you will never see this man sweat.

Default:

"Well, hello there—I've been expecting you. May I ask for your assistance with something?"

"What do you mean? I lend a sympathetic ear to those in need—that's all."

"Honestly. This academy has far more than its fair share of loose cannons, wouldn't you agree?"

"I'm no more than a servant. Frostheim is ruled by a king, you see."

"I hope you'll join us for a party some time."

"No need to be nervous. I've nothing but the noblest of intentions."

normal people don't need to say things like this. you see why i feel like it's too obvious that he's shady! he comes out the gate with this shit!

You've Got Mail:

"Seems you have some mail. There could be some helpful information in there."

Affinity 1:

"An orderly life and a well-managed schedule are the key to keeping one's self fit and healthy."

Affinity 2:

"How delightful... It seems our king's peaceful slumber has yet to be disturbed."

of note: he looks irritated saying this. He'd love to slam Jin's door open and yell WAKE THE FUCK UP BITCH

Affinity 3:

"Is that everything? I'm afraid there are several matters I must attend to."

Affinity 4:

"Please excuse me. There's a small matter I must attend to. No, it's nothing serious. Of course I'm being honest—whatever do you mean?"

yeah your affinity is too low for me to think you're honest. LET US IN.

Affinity 5:

"Look at you, you're trembling. You must have had quite a frightening encounter. You poor thing."

this can happen between 8pm and 5am, so maybe some anomaly was lurking in the darkness and scared you?

Affinity 6:

"Providing this level of assistance goes without saying. Only once you can do so without instruction can you call yourself qualified."

Affinity 7:

"So this is where you've been idling your time away. Our captain is waiting for you."

stop trying to hide you are a servant and your king demands your services.

Affinity 8:

"Honestly. If he'd just take action, everything would be resolved instantaneously."

(In case there's any doubt, "he" is specifically referring to Jin--in Japanese he says "Dorm Leader". I wonder if this relates to the spy situation or the Institute. . .or something else entirely--)

Affinity 9:

"This conversation never happened. Understand?"

Either he needs someone to believe he wasn't here or he told you something ~Secret~

Affinity 10:

"An appropriate amount of sleep is essential to maintaining your physical and mental health, you know."

Affinity 11:

"Honestly. The second years have been making quite the racket this morning."

KAITO AND LUCA ARE HAVING FUN LET THEM HAVE FUN

Affinity 12:

"I tend to eat lightly at lunch time. Would you like some? Don't worry—I assure you, it's not poisoned."

WHO SAYS THAT IF IT ISN'T POISONED. IT'S YOUR FOOD WE KNOW YOU WEREN'T POISONING YOURSELF. . .PROBABLY. . .COULD BE MICRODOSING POISON TO YOURSELF FOR IMMUNITY REASONS.

Affinity 13:

"Seems you've become involved in a difficult situation. How do I know? I just happened to overhear, that's all."

WHICH DIFFICULT SITUATION. THERE ARE SEVERAL. IT FEELS LIKE THERE ARE MORE EVERY DAY.

Affinity 14:

"It appears we're in for another full day."

Affinity 15:

"Good morning. Would you like to start the day with a cup of tea?"

Affinity 16:

"How about a game of chess to aid with digestion? I'm a patient teacher. I can show you how to win—against opponents other than myself, of course."

how would that help with. . .don't you usually have to exercise for. . .well I'm glad he's a patient teacher even if he won't teach you to beat him lol good strategy, make you a powerful ally.

Affinity 17:

"Good health is the greatest treasure. You shouldn't push yourself too hard. Good night—I'll finish up here."

He wants you to take care of yourself. . .so he'll do the hard work when it's time for you to rest. He wouldn't want something bad to happen to you because you were unwell.

Affinity 18:

"I always achieve my goals—using any means necessary. That goes without saying, don't you think?"

why restrict your means if you truly wish to fulfill your goal? Others use you for their means, so why not do the same yourself? If your ends are truly good perhaps the means aught not to matter so much.

Affinity 19:

"Please don't overexert yourself. There are many people here who need you."

that may sound like a reason to overexert yourself, but if you overdo it you won't be able to help anybody. You have to help yourself if you want to help anybody else. There's no shame in that.

Affinity 20:

"Take care not to overdo it today. You may insist you're fine—perhaps you even believe it—but I can tell at a glance that you're fatigued."

he's worried about you. Maybe it doesn't sound that way, but he wants to make sure you're well. He can tell you're wearing down before you can. He has an eye for others, that's all. Also maybe it's just me but he mentions health and wellness so much I can't help but wonder if he's had some sort of health problem in the past, or maybe Jin or someone else he knows and cares for. Also, hilarious that speaks to highly of caring for one's health when he smokes.

Affinity 21:

"Inexperience is not a crime. The important thing is choosing not to remain ignorant when you don't know something."

knowledge is in fact power

Affinity 22:

"Errant and Fuji lack polish, but they've got potential. They're sincere, and that's what counts."

he really looks at them and says "those're my boys. my loud annoying sons."

Affinity 23:

"Welcome to high society. That outfit suits you well. With that poise, you'll have no trouble fitting in here."

he dressed you up and brought you to a party because he likes and trusts you and wants to be seen with you. . .get used to the high life, he'd like to keep you in it as long as possible.

Affinity 24:

"Forgetting about everything I've got to do and be, just for a night every once in a while... It's not a bad feeling."

no titles, no images, no fronts, and no lies. no manipulation. no doing somebody else's job--no doing any job. Just. . .time for himself. And, presumably, someone he loves very much. I think he's earned that kind of break. Does this sound like you're about to fuck to anybody else--

Affinity 25(max):

"In times of difficulty, I hope you'll turn to those around you for help. I will be there to keep you safe."

Don't be like him and take so much upon yourself. . .rely on others. Ask for help! Find your people. Support each other. Don't try and go at it alone. It's okay to be united with your community. He is one of your people too, of course. Rely on him and he will keep you from harm. He's quite sweet, isn't he?

Spring:

"That was quite the yawn. No need to apologize. Who wouldn't want to take a nap in this pleasant spring weather?"

"I once heard a poem that went, "In spring, one sleeps a sleep that knows no dawn." I'm sorry to inform you dawn must come eventually, Captain."

translation: 'WAKE THE FUCK UP JIN. IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY BITCH.'

"With every advent of spring comes a wealth of gleaming new foliage and a pleasant breeze. I still find it moving each year."

reminds me of that if you ask Tohma what his hobbies are in his character story chat he says he likes being out in nature and taking walks. . .which also reminds me that Alan likes camping. I bet they used to go camping together all the time.

"The blossoms of spring fall so quickly. Though beautiful, there is something almost brutal in their brevity."

Summer:

"Ha ha. My apologies. Your face is so flushed I couldn't help myself."

'lol you're so sweaty you look like a wet rat'

"Sweltering days like this make me sincerely grateful to be in Frostheim."

i wonder how hot it was in the vagastrom garage in the summer. probably sucked ass in there. and smelt like big sweaty dudes.

"Would you care to enjoy the evening cool here with me?"

"If the heat becomes to much for you, please feel free to come visit us in Frostheim any time."

inviting them to frostheim late at night? how scandalous. . . .

Autumn:

"Pleasant days like this make me want to go on a trip somewhere far away."

i mean if anyone could get away with it it's definitely you. darkwick trusts you enough.

"Tea enjoyed while appreciating the colors of the fall leaves has a unique charm."

"The early dusks in the fall can take one by surprise. Be sure to stay alert when walking in the dark."

"There is nothing better than a book to while away the long fall nights. My eyes are rather tired though... Perhaps some exercise will be a good change of pace."

Winter:

"I thought Frostheim had gotten me used to cold weather, but I suppose this is what they mean when they say "chilled to the bone.""

my god he's admitting weakness. someone call the papers.

"Even the cold weather doesn't seem to deter the second years from gallivanting about... Rather charming, isn't it? In the way barnyard animals are."

my noisy sons who play in the snow like puppies

"I'll take my leave earlier this evening. The nights are getting colder, after all. And there's a small matter I'd like to look into."

"Haven't you had your fill of winter scenery after frequenting Frostheim? Ha ha. You truly are a strange one."

His birthday:

"Thank you for putting together such a wonderful celebration for me. Oh? You've even gotten me a gift..."

Your birthday:

"Happy birthday. Perhaps it was a little presumptuous of me, but I've prepared a gift for you... Come now. There's no need to be so formal."

New Years:

"Happy New Year, {PC}. I expect you will help bring Frostheim to even greater heights this year."

why? are they being promoted to fuckin captain of frostheim or something now? tf?

Valentine's Day:

"Oh my, is this for me? How kind of you. I very much look forward to finding out what's inside."

White Day:

"I ordered you these sweets from a famous confectionery in Asakusa. Hopefully they suit your tastes."

April Fool's Day:

"What I wouldn't give to knock that bastard Jin's head off... Oh come now, what's that face? I'm joking, of course."

Halloween:

"Trick or treat. Oh? So you prefer tricks... Interesting."

what do you think he's dressed as? Oh no you didn't have any treats for him. . .be worried about what's coming i guess

Christmas:

"Merry Christmas. We'll be holding a party in Frostheim later. Would you care to join us?"

Idle:

"Ignoring me, are you? You've certainly got guts."

"If something is concerning you, perhaps I could lend an ear. There may be something I can do to help."

Absent:

"I've no interest in hearing your excuses. I suppose I'll need to be stricter with you going forward—I hope you've come prepared."

much like Jin. . .he believes you'll need to be retrained. Bad servant. Time to be reminded of your place.

IT FEELS LIKE HIS ARE VERY LOW KEY. He's secretive about his interests and so very busy as Jin's servant, it feels like they don't share much about him. . .hopefully we'll get more study opportunities, anon. I wonder if this makes his intentions seem more or less clear/honest for some? It could really go either way lol. WHAT REALLY GETS ME IS THE "just one night to not have to think about who i am and what i have to do is nice" ONE TBH. . .like he really works so hard trying to play every side for the outcome he wants. he works so hard keeping frostheim in order. no real hints to what his goals are, just that he acknowledges that he will do whatever it takes to reach them. Makes you wonder, but we probably won't learn anything for a long while haha

#tohma ishibashi #tokyo debunker spoilers #tokyo debunker #danie yells at tokyo debunker #danie yells with anons #danie yells answers #ONLY ONE MORE CHARACTER TO GO #until they put in ed and lyc anyway

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five-thousand-loaves-of-bread · 3 days

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Hi. I read your post about being an "unreliable narrator" of your own life and I am having Feelings about it.

You said at the end to not respond with "relatable" if not friend/mutual etc. and so I am not doing that.

I am here to say Thank You, because you have given me a new way to describe an experience that I sometimes have.

Of course, my experience is very, very small compared to yours. I can pass as "normal" if I want to.

But still, you shared "Unreliable Narrator of Own Life", and so I would like to share "Executive Function Burnout" with you in return.

Thank you so much for sharing. Really. We are not the same, because no two people are really the same, but I see myself in you, and because I love myself and want myself to be happy, I also want the same things for you.

You are welcome to use "Executive Function Burnout" as a way to explain a thing.

I know words are hard sometimes (not always, but sometimes), so:

Executive = Decision Maker

Function = Capacity

Burnout = Used Up

I like finding connections between words, and translating complicated words into simple words.

I hope you have good rest, whatever that looks like for you. And I'm sorry I put so many words here.

Thank you for sharing. 💜

hey so. you nice about it so do appreciate, n think this problem caused by me not realize need elaborate what count as “say relate,” so that on me, n you tried respect that based on your interpretation, so am also gonna try be calm n nice about it

(tone tag is not mad. i think. well, if am mad it not your responsibility worry abt it)

by “don’t say relate” not just mean don’t say word “relate.” mean include saying anything that can be see as relating—say we similar, borrowing words, say see self in me, etc.

because often am describing level of severity that, unless you also go through, people don’t realize can affect that basic of thing. so people misunderstand to mean something milder. n that frustrate me because am try best to explain self as clear n work with communication disabilities. n history of be speak over by people…. for lack better term less severe in community.

now, don’t know how you (both actual you + general you for non mutuals) actually experience, don’t know how you actually understand. maybe you actually understand perfectly severity + actual experience. am have no way knowing unless know you more. and exact because have no way know unless that, n majority of people have met who do this don’t actually understand n experience, just ask people am not familiar with in general, not to tell me if they feel similar, if they relate.

to illustrate.

“burnout” very very. so very different from what am experiencing what am describe. have been very adamant in “do not call me burnout” because been repeat instances. if you not follow me for while, may not know that. n that okay not know! is why say “don’t say relate,” to prevent me see that.

& “executive function/dysfunction”, in way neurodivergent community typically think n talk about term, not describe what am experiencing.

n reason why say “don’t say relate” is, am can’t control how you feel. you (general you) can’t even control how you feel. can only ask you not do action. so ask you not do action. “relate all you want just don’t tell me.” kind of thing

again, do appreciate you be nice. n do appreciate you mean well, n want give me something in return. misunderstanding from miscommunication n that okay. hope you good day.

may borrow some of what wrote here into new post explain what meant by “not say relate if mutual / friend who experience this”, & why. please know it not target at you, you not only one, it something been thinking about do for while because it kinda unusual.

#answered #long post #🍞.txt

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