#Like the other characters I mentioned who have dedicated their whole identities to something

[laniemae]

Not gonna get into danganronpa another spoilers because this whole scene is something else that I’m still processing but I absolutely love this line. Like to bring up milgram I think this is an idea which can reflect on lots of the characters as well. The idea of basing your entire existence off of a certain thing/person/ideology and then for something to happen that completely destroys that. Your entire person has been stripped away and just what’s left? You can’t comprehend your own existence or meaning without that specific attachment and you start to question all of your actions based off that…

I can only really think of John, Kotoko, and Es here (and possibly Amane and Mikoto to an extent). And John bases his life off of Mikoto, Kotoko upholding justice, and Es being the warden.

John’s idea of his whole existence and reason for being is Mikoto. It’s the only reason he believes he exists and if he were to fulfill his role he’d “disappear” as he would be completely worthless without him. John tries to repress and ignore his humanity and reduce himself as a tool to protect Mikoto and that’s all he can see himself as. But now Mikoto’s starting to not deny his existence and feels pure hatred for everything about him. And what will happen to John, when the person he’s dedicated his entire life to and desperately wants praise from, denies his existence? What will he be but some worthless existence that is only a burden, to him.

Kotoko. An ideology of upholding justice and punishing evil that has completely overtaken her. She has pushed herself into a role of a “fang” for justice, protecting the weak and persecuting evil. But even so matter how much she tries, she knows her goals are unreachable. She denies relationships and attachments to other people based on this ideology. Kotoko admits that she does feel attachment to the prisoners, but has to deny them in order to fulfill the role as a tool. And believes that pain and violence is necessary to achieving a greater good. Trying to deny any regret because wouldn’t it be easier to believe you’re entirely in the right? She latched onto Es, believing them to be similar as the warden who carries out judgement on wether the prisoners are forgivable or not. But now, Es has denied her whole ideology, her whole existence due to the pain she’s caused. Kotoko wants to believe that what she did was right and that Es, another enforcer of justice would accept her, because that’s how it is.

And Es… they’re the warden of the prison. There’s nothing more to them than that they believe. Es has no memories of their identity or past before Milgram and immediately latched onto the identity given to them, of being the guard. Es took this role as their entire identity, an extension of the milgram system in order to interrogate and judge prisoners. I think Muu put this best.

“Warden-san, we call you "warden" because that's what you are, right? And I was assigned the role of prisoner, but that doesn't mean I'm now nothing but a prisoner at heart, too. After all, I'm still me.”

Es has an unstable sense of identity, to the point they latched on to the first thing they were given in order to give themselves a purpose and a meaning for existence. And Kotoko calling them “imperfect caused them to question their identity. But as the story progresses Es will probably begin to learn about the audiences control and the truth behind what they assumed to be their verdicts. That their will never was 100% their own. Who knows what Es’ past was, but eventually they’ll likely have to tackle it and their whole identity, the warden, the arms of milgram, is gone.

gonna think about Mikoto and Amane here as well. Mikoto, although may not seem to be as first, focuses his entire identity around other people. He’s the friendly sociable guy who’s easy to chat with. But that’s all he believes he should be, I guess. As perhaps this mindset is upheld by an inherent fear of other people rejecting him, so he focuses all his attention and identity on being a social person. He’s never truly friends with people, as perhaps that would be “too close” and open up the possibility for danger. He doesn’t completely deny his identity like the others, but he molds and shapes it in a way that is acceptable to others. He likes what everyone else likes and does what everyone else does so the fear of being rejected for being different won’t hurt him. But now he’s stopped denying John’s existence and his DID, believing himself to be crazy, and to be completely rejected from other people, his entire sense of identity to an extent. And especially with John scaring other people off with the mindset that will help Mikoto, he has now been completely distanced from everyone else and now has to come to terms with himself, but not the ideal persona he put on to be acceptable to other people.

Amane is a more different case as she in a way has rejected that idea, but not completely. Growing up in a cult it’s very likely that she was always conditioned that she was just a servant for god. That all the good things she did were actually god blessing her and all the bad things a fault of her humanity, herself as a person. She is in a unstable relationship with the whole submitting her personhood to her religion, as she sacrificed her ideologies in order to help a cat. But at the core, that wasn’t about herself and her identity, rather a focus on the cat’s life. Amane’s murder was her will. Rejecting everything and fighting for her life in direct opposition to what she has been taught her entire life and how her identity should be, a rejection of that and a glance into “herself”. But once again, this murder wasn’t entirely self motivated. She’s still broken enough that she can’t fully grasp herself as a person besides god and religion. And a large cause of her murder was out of the death of the cat, rather than simply protecting herself. Amane still slips back into the belief that her personhood is entirely dedicated to god. As she tried to convince herself and Es that the only reason she killed is because they deserved religious punishment and she is in the right for carrying out god’s will, once again denying her personal reason for doing so. Reducing herself to “we” on behalf of her religion, that this isn’t herself anymore. Amane is in a limbo between rejecting her personhood for god, but at the same time rejecting the suffering she’s been through in order to save “herself”. Amane’s case is so interesting, as there’s no clear answer of what she believes in here, and it is truly fascinating.

#milgram #Milgram theory #milgram analysis #amane momose #mikoto kayano #john kayano #john milgram #kotoko yuzuriha #es milgram #uhhhh this was meant to be a quick analysis how did this turn into an exploration of the identities of 5 characters #And comparing it to a scene from dra which focused a lot around the loss of someone’s beliefs completely destroying their identity? #May analyse that scene directly because the whole philosophical and psychological concepts coming into play there is just soooo cool #and man I was kinda figuring out stuff as I was writing this but like I said it’s so interesting how Amane isn’t completely dedicated to go #Like the other characters I mentioned who have dedicated their whole identities to something #And Amane’s at the struggling between her true self and her perfect religious self #But perhaps she doesn’t entirely realise this conflict going on within #Which is interesting as a realisation of their identities would probably cause the other characters to lose it #But Amane it’s coming to her in a different way #She’s so strong uahhhahhajajshshshs #Tw cults #Ok now thinking about this more I’m starting to see this whole ideology apply to other dra characters as well #Man this is just so interesting #Like Kinji although having nowhere near as bad of a situation of amane was in a way forced to repress his emotions his entire life #Due to religious reasons and to devote his life to god and reject personhood #Surprisingly he’s actually not a bad person but still is very stoic and avoids other people due to being taught those values #And kinji’s a whole parallel to Tsurugi so this would be really interesting #I would talk about Tsurugi here but this is primarily a milgram post so for everything he’s like kotoko with a dedication to justice #But handles it in a very different way #His story is just way to long to analyse now #But hey this is an invitation to play (or watch bc downloading the game is hard technically) danganronpa another

[restlessmaknae]

dating (hypothetically)

One helpful act on a stranger’s part leads to a headline article the next day, and in 24 hours, your whole life takes a turn when the stranger is revealed to be the heartthrob rocker, Cho Seungyoun.

➳ Characters: solo rock singer!Seungyoun x female reader/you

➳ Genre: comedy, fluff, showbiz au

➳ Words: 7.3k

➳ Warning: mentions of paparazzi, crazy fans and therapy

➳ A/N: Dedicated to @lily-blue

➳ WOODZ taglist: @dat-town

➳ Check out: my WOODZ masterlist

Straight out of a kdrama: WOODZ is pulling his alleged girlfriend out of harm in new pictures

One of today’s hottest items, Cho Seungyoun (also known by his stage name WOODZ) was seen in a rather intimate position with his alleged girlfriend on 20th May at around 9pm in Sogong-dong. In the pictures, we can clearly see the heartthrob rocker and a mysterious young lady talking in front of a 7-Eleven store, the girl reaching something out to him, then the multitalented singer-songwriter pulling her towards him - out of harm as a motorbike is seen passing by. The close scene is making fans swoon worldwide as it looks like a scene straight out of a kdrama.

However, some fans expressed their disappointment that their favourite singer is seen around a young lady as he has not announced that he was taken. On top of that, just a month before the incident, WOODZ was quick to reassure fans at his latest fansign that he was single, and went on to explain that his songs were mostly about searching for one’s self-identity, telling his haters off and raging about today’s society because he did not have a lot of experience in love.

Meanwhile, WOODZ debuted as a solo rock singer in 2021, and is one of the emerging artists of today’s music scene in South Korea, shaking up the hearts of young girls with his aesthetic and high-energy MVs, head bobbing songs and even his not so secret tattoos (which you can see in this previous article).

Check out the pictures of WOODZ and his alleged girlfriend below!

What do you think about the news? Are you happy for WOODZ and his alleged girlfriend?

Most of the time, you would not read such articles. You didn’t care about celebrities’ rumours, you watched their movies, shows and listened to their music, but you couldn’t care less about whom they dated and whom they didn’t. You knew that it was usually fake either way, or if it was actually true, then it was disgusting that paparazzis could put pictures up on the Internet, and the celebrities in question would be the ones receiving all the hate, not the ones who took the pictures without the others’ consent.

However, now, you were the one involved, you were the one seen in the pictures, and given the location, given the unmistakably hanging 7 on the sign behind you, anyone who frequented this particular area knew that it was this specific 7-Eleven, not somewhere else. Your boss had been meaning to fix the hanging 7 that was pretty much a safety hazard now, but to your luck, it was caught on camera just like your work outfit and your dyed blue-black hair even if your face was blurred out. Anyone who could put two and two together would know that you were working here, not just being here on a casual date with this so-called heartthrob at 9pm.

“This is just unbelievable, who do they think they are?” You exclaimed angrily as you tossed the phone showing the article back to your co-worker, Yohan. He was the one who had brought up if you had seen the article published early in the morning after you had asked him why there were more people here than usual, and why they were giving you odd glances. So while Minhee was taking over the counter, you and Yohan were in the staff room, away from the curious eyes. Who knew when paparazzi would show up here at this rate?

“I thought the same. You and a rock singer dating? Please,” the younger boy huffed as if he had any right to talk about your non-existent love life like that when he himself wasn’t any better. When a pretty girl showed up at the counter, he basically malfunctioned. He could only be bratty to girls who treated him like a younger brother - yourself included.

“We are not dating. I was just giving his wallet back because he had left it on the table inside the store, then he thanked me for it, and then, the motorbike guy came, and yes, he did pull me towards him, but it was anything but romantic. I felt so awkward, I wanted the ground to swallow me up.”

“But why? You are the one who always complains that chivalry is dead!” Yohan pointed out with a raise of his eyebrows, and you had to give it to him that he was right.

“I don’t know, it was just… weird. He’s practically a stranger!” You reasoned as you leaned onto the shelf with the uniforms, your head throbbing ever since you had laid your eyes on the article. This could not be happening… This had to be a dream… You were the most ordinary person on Earth, why did you have to get caught up in a dating rumour with a rock singer?

“So you didn’t even exchange numbers that would mean you could contact him now?” Yohan broke the momentary silence, his face pondering. You, on the other hand, gave him a deadly glare as if he had asked if you had killed a person.

“No, of course not. I’ve told you there’s nothing between us.”

“It’s not too good then. How are you going to discuss what to do about the whole situation?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know if celebrities discuss these things when they are rumoured to be with common people,” you reasoned, letting out a huff of air at the end of your answer. You ran a hand through your hair, not caring about the mess you would leave behind because it was a mess either way. Not just your hair but the whole situation.

As if it could get any worse, the door of the staff room flung open, and your manager walked in with his hands on his hips.

“Would anyone mind telling me why people are asking ME if the girlfriend of a certain singer is working here? And by anyone, I mean you,” he said as he pointed at you. Oh, come on, could this get any worse?

“Look, there’s nothing going on between me and that certain singer, I swear. I just went after him last night because he left his wallet behind. That’s all.”

You tried with your most confident tone and your most convincing puppy eyes, but you should have known that didn’t work on your manager. He wasn’t a bad manager, if anything, he was a reasonable boss. However, what he hated the most was drama, and if anyone caused trouble, he would go absolutely feral. Good thing that he hadn’t yet done so.

“This is still not good. People are flooding the store, and they don’t even buy anything. How did they even know it’s our store?”

“It’s because of the hanging 7 above the door,” Yohan chirped in, and even though he wanted to be helpful, it didn’t work because your boss just became even angrier.

“Fine, then I’ll fix the sign now, and you should take the day off while we figure out how to keep the peace of our store.”

“But-” You tried to protest, but your boss didn’t let you, and told you firmly to take the day off. He even mentioned that you should try to dye back your hair in case that would help with people not recognising you around here, and whilst it was reasonable on his part, you felt like a child being reprimanded for something you hadn’t even committed.

May it be your fury or the fact that you had the whole day to yourself afterwards, but you had a plan: if you didn’t know how to contact that so-called singer, you should find out where his agency was, and maybe, they would help you settle the case if you were cooperative.

Or so you hoped.

When you let Yohan know about your plan before leaving the store, he insisted on accompanying you. He came up with sillier and sillier answers as to why (what if crazy fans would flock you? What if someone would throw eggs at you? What if they wanted to throw you out of the agency when they got to know why you were there?), so you told him you would wait until the end of his shift, and then you can go together. In the meantime, you looked up this so-called WOODZ’s agency - it was his own agency according to the articles which made everything more and less intimidating at the same time -, and spiralled down into the hellhole of the internet, seeing too many versions of the story of last night, but none of them were true. Some even went as far as to say that you had been kissing after this singer had pulled you closer to him, and one commenter even said that she saw you leaving the store with the celebrity. Absolute nonsense, absolute bonkers. If you hated gossip before, now you absolutely detested it.

Getting inside the agency was no big deal as it seemed that there was an exhibition part of the building about the artist’s life that fans could visit, but getting through the receptionist to talk to Cho Seungyoun himself was more difficult.

“We can’t just let anyone inside that says that they are the girl in the articles.”

“Do you think I would come here for fun if I wasn’t that girl?” You counter-attacked the receptionist dude who couldn’t let you in for safety reasons which you could understand, but still, his explanations were getting on your nerves.

“Crazy fans do exist,” Yohan blurted out absent-mindedly beside you, totally not helping the situation. You gave him a deadly side-eye before turning back to the receptionist.

“Do they even dye their hair to the colour of my hair?” You threw the question at the dude behind the desk, then threw your hands up in the air out of frustration. “Then, what can I do to meet him? Can’t you just tell him that I’m here, and he can see for himself whether it’s me or not, then problem solved,” you suggested as your last piece of hope, and that seemed to spark something in him.

He gave you one long stare before picking up the phone and calling someone (hopefully the so-called heartthrob), then randomly took a photo of you, and when you asked what it was for, he explained that it was for identification to send to Mr Cho as he called the artist. Yohan mumbled something along the lines of ‘how cool’, and before you knew it, you were given a visitor’s pass, and told to go to the fifth floor.

“And what about me?” Yohan puckered his lips at the receptionist who seemed to be on the edge already.

“And who would you be?”

“Her colleague. Her emotional support colleague who wants to make sure that she’s treated right,” he answered all too seriously, and if you didn’t know him, you would say that he was overreacting, but you knew that he could be very adamant when it was about people who were close to him.

You two had been on good terms ever since he had started working at the convenience store and given that you were older and had worked there already, you had been the one to show him the ropes, and you had developed this sibling kind of relationship quickly. He and Minhee could talk about all the boyish topics they wanted while you gave him life advice when he needed it and got him out of trouble when he messed up an invoice or clumsily broke something.

“Fine. But no pictures or videos, either of you,” the dude warned you both before giving out a visitor pass to the younger boy as well who giddily followed you through the gates, and eventually to the fifth floor.

As soon as you stepped out, there was a 30-something guy waiting for you two who introduced himself as Han Seungwoo, WOODZ’s manager. Then, he led you to a meeting room after a few empty corners, and when you stepped inside, the rock singer was already there, looking up from a bunch of documents when you stepped inside.

Last night, the singer had been wearing a casual grey hoodie, similarly plain sweatpants and no make-up. He had looked like your typical boy-next-door, although he was far from a young boy now, and you had no handsome neighbours like him. Even though you would have wanted to deny, you couldn’t deny that he was attractive, not in a pushy way, not in an overwhelming way, but there was a certain degree of boyishness mixed in with his muscular features, and he just looked nice, even as a casual visitor last night.

Now though in a chic white shirt pulled up until his elbows, sliced back hair, slight dark make-up, he did look extra fine. Damn it, it would have been easier to shout his head off (to find a solution to the problem at hand, of course) if he hadn’t looked like that.

He stood up, bowed at you two before signalling to the chairs on the other side of the table.

“Good afternoon! Please, take a seat,” he greeted you two politely, and you exchanged a glance with Yohan beside you. Was he always extra nice, or was it because he didn’t want you to get more frustrated because he believed that you weren’t in the best mood? Either way, he was like a real gentleman, and even his voice was gentle (was a rock singer allowed to have such a gentle voice?) as he introduced himself officially while all of you were taking a seat at the table.

The artist’s manager sat beside Seungyoun himself (he mentioned that he preferred his real name, not his stage name) while you and Yohan were on the other side, introducing yourself quite clumsily, to be honest. However, Seungyoun didn’t give you an odd glance when Yohan introduced himself as your little brother-like colleague who was definitely not your boyfriend before he wanted to know.

“Well, thank you for the information,” Seungyoun chuckled hearing the younger boy’s words, and his eyes turned into little crescents as he was laughing. That was really cute or something, but you weren’t here for that. You were here to get out of this mess.

“So uhm… I don’t know how people do this usually, but can’t you release an article saying that there’s nothing between us, and explain what happened exactly? It’s giving me a hard time at work, people are flooding the store and asking questions. My manager is also quite agitated,” you explained in one-go, hoping that all this newfound information will make him empathise with you enough to agree to your plan.

There was a few seconds of silence when Seungyoun and his manager exchanged a glance, and you felt your heartbeat picking up its pace. What if they thought you were crazy? What if they didn’t want to stir up even bigger of a mess? Such thoughts crossed your mind, but the casual way they gave in eased your worries.

“There’s no guarantee that the public would believe you two, but we can try with an official release on the agency’s side,” the manager articulated solemnly, and you nodded immediately, knowing all too well that the public could think whatever they wanted despite the truth being far from the situation.

So you got started on putting together a statement, and since you were already there, Seungyoun wanted you to have a say in this. Not because he didn’t remember what had happened the night before (you couldn’t have wiped the memory from your mind even if you had wanted to), but because he wanted your consent as to what they would put out. Yohan nudged you in the side hearing that, and you mouthed a why, but he just gave you a smug, boyish grin in return. What was he up to, jeez?

The statement took longer than you would have thought so, and Yohan got so bored in the meantime that he started scrolling on his phone. Thank god he did though because another mess was on its way, it seemed.

“Oh… Ooohh… This is not good,” he vocalised while you were doing the finishing touches on the text, and all eyes were on him now. He pushed his phone to the middle of the table, an anonymous post with the title ‘WOODZ’s alleged girlfriend is seen at the artist’s agency' open on it. You immediately snatched the phone and scrolled down to read what they had to say.

“I saw WOODZ’s alleged girlfriend entering the boy’s agency earlier today, about an hour ago. She was seen with another guy who seemed like her brother or something… Either way, here are the photos I’ve taken… You can clearly see that it’s her, and now we can be even more sure that he’s dating her,” you quoted from the post, your mouth hanging agape at the end as you looked at the photos taken of you and Yohan entering the building. Even though you both had masks on, your dyed hair was still the same, and it seemed that it was enough for the eagle-eyed fan to spot you and make it into an announcement.

You felt like the ground opened up beneath you. Just how… Why… How did this even happen? How could showbiz be like this? When the rumours and drama were far away from you in magazines and on online boards, it did seem bad, but not this bad when you were directly the target of these rumours. It was one thing that you had gotten swirled up in one rumour, but to be caught up in another one? Sure, you could have been more careful when you had entered the building, but should you be paranoid from now on?

“I think at this point it would be easier if you two just… dated,” Yohan blurted out casually, and you felt your eyes widen as you gave him a glare.

“He has a point,” Seungyoun’s manager, Seungwoo, voiced out his opinion as well, and given the singer’s solemn face and lack of response, you had a feeling that he felt the same way.

“That does not solve the problem of me not being able to work because of what’s happening at the store.”

“You can work here. We have some vacancies,” the rock singer suggested seriously, his eyes boring into yours. You could tell that he was being genuine, and since he was the CEO of his own company, he could make it work, but still…

“Wouldn’t that make everything worse?”

“Well, that depends on how you see it. If you work here, we can give you a piece of mind as no one will bother you here. You can also come in from the back or from the garage which are for staff only, not through the main entrance which is for the general public. We can also appoint you a security guard if you would like to. It’s my company, so we could also make adjustments as you see fit. You wouldn’t need to feel like you inconvenience anyone because this is what we do here, that’s our job,” he announced confidently as if he had practised it already. Maybe it wasn’t a surprise that he could lead his own company, he seemed to take everything into consideration while speaking eloquently about a matter.

“We can’t do that elsewhere, but I also understand that you have your own job, your own goals, your friends and colleagues there, so it might not be your first choice,” he added a bit belatedly when you still didn’t speak up. He kept the eye-contact with you, but that just made everything worse because you wanted to believe him. You felt like you could believe him when he looked at you like that, but it was still so sudden, so new and so… scary.

“I… I think I need a bit more time to think about this,” you concluded when you found your voice, and the artist and his manager both nodded.

Seungyoun asked his manager to give you a pass if you needed to come by in the future, you also exchanged contacts, and you also decided to drop posting the official announcement for now. The singer told you to contact him anytime you felt like you needed it because of the situation, and before you would have left, he even apologised for the trouble.

“It’s not your fault. You can’t change the fact that you are a celebrity,” you responded out of empathy, and you saw hurt flash across his orbs, but you didn’t want to ask about it. You were sure that he had his fair share of hardships while being in the spotlight even without articles being written about him.

Maybe he was going through one right now as well.

Working at Seungyoun’s agency seemed like the most reasonable choice given the circumstances, but it took you a whole bunch of supposedly helpful things - such as writing a pros and cons list - and totally unhelpful things - such as tossing and turning in bed at night for two days in a row to make that decision. In the meantime, you went to dye your hair to black and cut it jaw-length short - shorter than it had ever been - so as to at least confuse the paparazzi or fans if they passed you by or came by the store. You still got odd glances, but at least you could have some peace of mind before leaving the store - and your lovely coworkers - behind. Your manager let you quit immediately given the circumstances, and Seungyoun let you join a few days later when you felt ready and had enough of being scooped up at home. You were more nervous about going outside when you were alone at home than when you were actually outside.

It didn’t mean that it wasn’t scary, but they were really nice at the company, and apart from Seungwoo, the artist’s manager, and Wooseok, the receptionist (you got to know his name later on), no one knew who you actually were, which was a relief. You had your own pass, your own duties as an assistant in the production office, and since you were a newbie (and that’s how you had been introduced to everyone on the first day), no one looked at you weird or deemed you incapable. They showed you the ropes, and soon enough, you were sucked into the world of album production, concept making, marketing plans and merchandise distribution. In the meantime, the rumours died down a bit though it didn’t mean that you were 100% rid of your fears and slight paranoia whenever you stepped outside.

Seungyoun, on the other hand, was kind and polite like the first time you met him - to be precise, the second time, but the first one at his company -, and when you bumped into each other in the corridor, he frequently halted to ask how you were doing and what you were up to. He did that with other employees as well, so you weren’t an exception, but it felt nice that he cared nevertheless. Especially because you knew that he was super busy recording for a new album, and he had his own company to run, so he had a lot to do.

You did look him up in the meantime, listening to some of his songs, and actually found yourself growing fond of his own style, especially when you felt like you could conquer the world while listening to a few of his angriest songs (they were great for singing in the shower when the stress got to you).

However, you didn’t really look up his stages and such, so when you were in a meeting to decide on his outfits for his next comeback and they were showing old press and stage photos and even videos of past performances, you were taken aback to see more revealing clothes on him such as sleeveless shirts, blazers without anything underneath and tank tops. You hoped that no one noticed that you were visibly shocked because you sure were. Seeing him in his usual cardigan and cotton pants combo or elegant, usually loose shirts were common, but seeing him like that on stage… well, that made you feel a bit uneasy because he seemed to know the power he had on his fans.

Days went by, the comeback was closer, and days got longer as everyone prepared extra hard. So after a long day when you wanted to have some time to yourself before leaving for home and joining the hustle-bustle of the commuting city centre, you went up to the rooftop of the company building. You looked at the buzzing city beneath you with all its sparkling city lights while taking a few sips from your carbonated drink and trying to ease the headache that was creeping onto you.

However, when the door to the rooftop flung open, and Seungyoun himself walked out, you felt uncharacteristically bashful as if you had been caught red-handed being here. It was common for colleagues to come up here during breaks, you just happened to be here on your own now. Well, he didn’t seem to mind your presence either, just asked if he could join you.

“Sure. It’s your company after all,” you told him semi-jokingly, and he reciprocated your smile as he stepped beside you, leaning onto the rail just like you did. He had a really charming smile, you had to admit, and it was lovely when his eyes turned into little crescents because he was someone who had that typical cute eye smile that could make girls swoon.

“Sometimes I still find it hard to believe that it’s mine,” he admitted as he looked at the city. You had read that he had been writing and producing songs, even being a back-up vocalist for a lot of acclaimed artists before creating his own company and debuting as a solo artist. You didn't know before that people could be paid a lot from royalties, but he sure had his name on a lot of different artists’ songs, and he had also been working part-time before becoming a full-time musician. So he had absolutely worked hard for it, that was one for certain.

“Is it better or worse to have your own company?”

“In a lot of aspects, I think it’s better because I have a lot more freedom, I have a lot more say in my artistic direction, but on the other hand, if I get into a scandal or my sales go down, the whole company could suffer the consequences including the trainees and solo artists that are here now,” he concluded as eloquently as always, and you couldn’t help but think of the dating rumour that you two had been a part of.

“I’m sorry that-”

“You don’t need to be sorry for that. I didn’t mention the scandals because of that,” Seungyoun cut you off before you could immediately go full-on regretful mode. Then, he gave you a soft, gentle smile, and continued slowly yet confidently. “Part of being in this industry is about dealing with the rumours and groundless accusations. They are pretty much inevitable, so one needs to work on themselves to withstand it. I also did that through counselling, and I still see a psychologist from time to time. They’ve helped me a lot at the beginning of my career, and it’s good to have those sessions to clear my mind and give space to more important thoughts and ideas.”

You heard of the free psychological consultation artists, trainees and employees under the company could sign up for, and you applauded Seungyoun for the initiative and also for speaking up about the matter. It must not be easy for him with the stigma around mental health in the industry, but that was just one more reason you looked up to him.

Since he shared something more vulnerable about himself, you decided to do the same. So after a long breath, you shared with him that you had also seen a psychologist when you hadn’t gotten into university upon graduation, and you had believed that all of your dreams had been crashed and taken away from you. It had been such a dark time for you, something that you didn’t like talking about, but it led you to start working at the 7-Eleven and make friends with your colleagues - something that you had never taken for granted afterwards.

“What would you have wanted to become? If you don’t mind sharing,” he inquired after sharing your sentiment that reaching out to a professional in times of need isn’t unnecessary, but rather brave.

“You’re going to laugh-” You started tentatively as the young man turned towards you to give you a semi-offended glare.

“I won’t, I promise.”

He looked at you like a puppy that was waiting for a treat, eyes all shiny and bright under the dim lights around, and after a long sigh, you gave him your answer.

“I wanted to be a journalist. Not the gossip magazine type, but maybe writing about hidden gems in Seoul, travel content and interviewing people about their life stories.”

When you finished, there was a moment of silence before the boy erupted into laughter. You almost threw hands at him because he had promised not to laugh, but before you could do so, he justified his action, still giggling.

“I thought you would say something like… I don’t know… astrophilosophy, and that’s why you said I would laugh.”

“What? Would you have laughed if I had told you so?” You raised a challenging eyebrow, but in the next moment, you also found yourself laughing along with him.

Gosh, it seemed so easy to be around him like this, it almost seemed easy to imagine that it could always be like this with him despite you two having quite a bit of a history yourselves. You didn’t even want to think about the what ifs regarding your future, you just enjoyed this moment and the conversation you were having.

You didn’t know just how crazy a comeback season could be until you found yourself in one, but it was super busy, everyone was doing a lot of work, and although you were only an assistant, not the ones actually making decisions and tracking sales and engagement, you were always on the go as well. It kept your mind occupied, so you didn’t have to worry about your paranoid thoughts that actually easened a bit once Seungyoun made his comeback and mentioned that the truth wasn’t what was written in those articles once asked about it at a fansign.

He didn’t outright deny anything, he shared only this much, and asked fans to understand that if he didn’t come out with a story on his own, it was to protect the privacy of the person involved (aka you), and he wanted to be as considerate as possible in such an intrusive situation as it was. It seemed to calm the nerves of the fans, and since the boy didn’t post anything suspicious on social media or said anything that could indicate more, the rumours died down. Seungyoun even won at music shows and his album sales were solid, so the rumour didn’t seem to affect his comeback (thank god).

Yohan was having the time of his life in the meantime though, watching variety shows of Seungyoun during his breaks at work because he was loving the idea that you were now working for the singer (he said it was like a fanfic coming true). Instead of you, now he had Minhee and Hyeongjun - the new employee to replace you - to chat to, and as quiet as Minhee was, Hyeongjun was a chatterbox, so these three really gave you a headache with all their questions in the groupchat Yohan made for you all. Somehow it seemed that you adopted these boys as little brothers, and they were living their best life being your adopted siblings.

Thankfully, your parents were also reassured that even though you changed jobs so quickly, you managed the new tasks and responsibilities well, and despite them not having heard of your rumour before, you came clear to them, and explained everything. As expected, they believed you over the rumours and were extremely happy to see that the singer protected your privacy, yet stood up for you (and himself as well).

However, even with a pretty successful comeback season ending, work didn’t stop, and it was true for you and Seungyoun as well. You needed to ask him about some materials, but when you asked his manager, he told you to check his office first. The singer wasn’t there, so Seungwoo suggested his studio.

As you got closer to his recording studio, you could already hear an unfamiliar melody in the hallway. Not that you had listened to all of his songs (okay, maybe you had done so a few times), but you knew most of his songs, so you guessed that he wasn’t practising but rather working on new songs. You decided to ask about it once you knocked on the door and he let you in.

“Are you working on a new song?”

“Yeah, work never stops, and it’s good when inspiration hits,” he explained as he looked up from his keyboard, a weary albeit gentle smile playing on his lips. Even though you were here to ask a work-related question, you couldn’t help but pry a bit. You knew that he was always so enthusiastic to talk about his music to anyone, so you hoped he wouldn’t mind.

“It sounded a bit different from what you usually put out. Are you venturing into something new?” You quirked an eyebrow, curious and genuine as usual. He dropped a shy smile, scratching the back of his neck as if he was unsure what to call this new song.

“I want to, but I’m just experimenting for now,” he reasoned almost timidly, and this was the side of him that you usually didn’t see in a work setting. You saw clips of him being shy when fans complimented him or when other musicians called him their role model, but he was usually this confident, ever-so-ready-to-take-on-the-world kind of artist and CEO at the company, so it was rare to see him in such a state. 

“Do you want to have a listen?” Seungyoun inquired as he kept the eye-contact. There was no challenge in his eyes, no fear, no pressure… He was just there, suggesting something that you didn’t know whether he suggested to a lot of people, but you didn’t have any reason to say no.

So you took a seat beside him while he was clicking something on his computer, then the first few accords of the song started slowly, calmly. It was like walking on the beach, by the ocean, reminiscing about the past while getting lost in the crystal clear water peacefully reaching for the sand under your feet. Then, the song gradually picked up its pace, and the waves started crashing down on the shore, unpredictable and hard, like a sudden rainpour that brings heavy winds, dark clouds and unforgiven rain.

The song went back to a more tranquil pace after the first chorus, but the waves hit again at the second chorus, and the water kept coming and coming through the bridge, and with one last burst of rage, it came to an end.

You felt like the air was sucked out of your lungs when it ended, the song felt so personal and raw. Just like how in those movies, you see all these flashbacks while the character is rushing to turn their life around, this is how you felt when you were listening to this song, and when it ended, it seemed like there was an intersection where you could choose where to go, what to take away with you.

“Wow… that was… amazing,” you jumbled the first words that came to your mind because truly, you were very positively taken aback.

“Did you really like it? You can be honest-”

“I really liked it. It was really heartbreaking though…” You admitted as you turned your head to look at the singer. When he was all scooped up like this, many empty water bottles on his desk, bright, wide eyes waiting for your answer, he seemed more like a school kid hoping that you liked the idea he had or the small thing he had put together than the CEO of this very company.

However, there must have been a reason he let you listen to this song, and even though you could have easily dodged the question, you decided to ask about it.

“Was it inspired by real life? You don’t have to tell me if you aren’t comfortable…”

“Yeah, it was,” he told you directly, cutting you off. There were a lot of instances when you could feel the emotion in a singer’s voice, and Seungyoun’s song had to be the prime example of that. It was like he was bleeding through the syllables, that’s why you had such a gut feeling. 

You didn’t even want to push for more because he seemed to be zoning out after his answer, but a few seconds later, he started sharing the story behind the song.

“I had a relationship before I became a solo singer, and part of why she left me was because of me potentially becoming famous. We kept getting into arguments, and I knew I couldn’t ask her to stay because I understood a part of her reasoning, but after a while, she always found something to nitpick, and nothing I did seemed to please her. It just got messy, and I didn’t really write love songs because it was difficult not to be reminded of the whole experience. But now the inspiration just hit and this song was born in three days,” he shared without batting an eye.

The more he talked, the more your heart churned, and you wondered if it were to ever be released, how would this particular girl react to it. Seungyoun wrote in the song that he was madly in love, but he was tired of the arguments, and how she always left him first, leaving him behind, bleeding and badly hurt. It might have been even messier than you could have imagined.

“I’m so sorry,” you mumbled tentatively, though you wished you could have said more, said something better. You knew that relationships could be messy, but hearing about someone’s experience who was this gentle and who had such a big heart, you had this feeling that you wanted him to have the best possible relationship he could have. You wanted to see him happy, you wanted to hear his love songs that were more joyful. Was that weird?

Seungyoun’s raspy voice was the one that brought you back to reality.

“I just don’t know if I can ever ask anyone to give up a part of their privacy to be with me,” he shared like a sorrowful plea, and this time, you didn’t need to search for the words. You were ready to give him your point of view.

“Look, you made it happen in my case as well. I think you’ll be able to work it out if both parties want to.”

“Would you really let it?” Seungyoun inquired, and you didn’t have to ask him to specify what he meant. You knew that he was asking about you agreeing to a public relationship, and given that you had that experience or semi-experience, you knew that it was both easier and more complicated than one would think. Yet, it wasn’t the idea that surprised you, it was the way he asked about it. As if he was asking about it in your case as well. As if he was asking about it because…

“Like hypothetically, of course…” He added belatedly when he saw you gaping at him like a fish, unable to blurt out any coherent words.

“Of course…”

“If we actually dated, would you really be willing to give up a part of your privacy for me?” Seungyoun asked head-on, and though you were dancing along the lines of the hypothetical-not so hypothetical question, your heart was bouncing like crazy.

“Yes. You’re a great person and you deserve it. I mean, if hypothetically I was in love with you, I would feel that even more intensively. It might not work out, but at least I would want to give it a try,” you confessed straightforwardly, each and every one of your words genuine. From what you had seen and what you had experienced beside Seungyoun, you had a feeling that he would be the most caring, most considerate boyfriend who would want to do nothing but protect and cherish his significant other, and even just the thought of it sent a pleasant shiver down your spine.

His lips blossomed into a coy, yet joyous smile, and you had to look away for a few seconds to be able to think straight. Afterwards, you tried to divert the topic to the actual question you had come here to ask regarding work, but even after you dealt with that and left his studio, you had this fuzzy feeling in your stomach.

Oh boy, were you in love?

You didn’t mean to, but somehow you blurted out what you had talked about with Seungyoun regarding you two hypothetically dating, and Hyeongjun went crazy in the groupchat. He said that it was a sure sign the singer was in love with you, but you shrugged off his words.

Nevertheless, the more you tried to pay attention to Seungyoun’s actions towards you, the more you realised that despite him being a very polite person in general, he wasn’t like that to other employees; he didn’t get them their favourite brand of fruit juice at the end of long days, he didn’t have hour-long conversations with them on the rooftop of the agency, he didn’t share more and more songs with them in his studio after working hours, he didn’t offer them to give them a ride home, and he most definitely didn’t fall asleep on their shoulder once he pulled an all-nighter in his studio and was tired the next day.

On the other hand, with him, it wasn’t like crashing and burning, it was a gradual landing, not an instant fall. You both needed time to open up, to be more sure about the other’s intentions and feelings, and slowly yet surely, you walked towards the same direction. There was no grande scene either when you confessed, it was just like any other day, it was just like any other recording studio session when he showed you one of his songs, and somewhere along the lines, he admitted that his question wasn’t about hypothetically dating, and you admitted that you knew.

Afterwards, you were both smiles and giggles, and nothing really changed, except that there was an even more peaceful air around you two. Apart from that, everything was the same, you still kept things professional during working hours, but one thing was for sure: at least you could tell Hyeongjun that he was right: Seungyoun’s question wasn’t actually about hypothetically dating.

You didn’t even mind though.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this story of mine! Let me know what you think!

If you want to read more stories of mine, let it be for WOODZ or for other artists, consider signing up for my taglist here.

Hope you have a lovely day/night! Take care! ❤���

#woodz #woodz x reader #woodz x you #woodz scenarios #woodz imagines #woodz fluff #seungyoun #seungyoun x reader #seungyoun x you #seungyoun imagines #seungyoun scenarios #seungyoun fluff #x1 imagines #x1 scenarios #uniq imagines #uniq scenarios

[frownyalfred]

Apologies for the extremely long ask.

Omegaverse as a concept is so complicated and interesting as to me as a trans person.

On the one hand, the writer in me is intrigued by the world building implications and the opportunity to explore gender roles/dynamics. The concept of having a secondary dynamic alongside your actual gender is also fascinating to me and it's something I typically would have expected to be in something like sci-fi before I actually got into fanfiction.

I especially love deep diving into pack dynamics. Admittedly, that's where most of my interest and attention is focused on when reading and writing Omegaverse. I just find the concept so fascinating and any opportunity to write characters with heightened instincts, alien or otherwise, is just so much fun.

But on the other hand, I'm also very aware of how Omegaverse came about because some Supernatural fans wanted to play around with the idea of pack roles/relationships based on a messy study of wolf hierarchies. I'm also aware that intentional or not, a lot of early Omegaverse fics and tropes leaned really heavy into more homophobic and transphobic stereotypes, especially between M/M pairings.

I do feel like this has changed a bit over the years, though. From what I recall, a lot of early Omegaverse fics just really over relied on the stereotypical "which guy is really the girl?" trope that you saw a lot in the early to mid 2000s when discussions of queer (but mostly gay) relationships were brought up. I feel like the discussion has become a lot more nuanced since then and I know there are other trans fic writers like me who enjoy writing Omegaverse simply because it provides an opportunity to explore concepts of gender, sexuality and identity in a relatively fun way.

Not all Omegaverse fics/tropes are created equal, though. And every trans person has a different reaction/feeling towards this AU. I definitely feel like the odd one out, though, sometimes since I mostly come to Omegaverse for pack dynamics, less so for the smut (although I have written some in the past for fun or for friends). But I also believe there's validity in writing smut just for the purpose of enjoying smut.

Overall, I think this AU has a lot of potential, but I also see why it could make people very comfortable. I do wanna say that your fics haven't made uncomfortable and I do enjoy your takes on this trope. And I especially appreciate your willingness to listen to other trans people and their thoughts on Omegaverse. It goes a long way.

Side tangent: I will always be amused by how this whole trope came about btw, but also because the original author of that study followed it up by saying his first paper was absolute bullshit actually and shouldn't be viewed as a factual study of wolf pack hierarchy. Man messed up his original study, but he's a dedicated scientist and I love him for debunking his own work. But also the fact that he had an unintended impact on fandom is such fucking gold to me. I love this man so much.

Thank you for putting my thoughts to words, anon! There's definitely a long history there, and I agree with you that the genre itself has changed a lot in recent years, I think for the better.

I don't begrudge anyone for not liking or wanting to read a/b/o fics at all. I think it's intriguing but has the potential to be deeply uncomfortable or even like you said, transphobic for some people. I try to tag everything very well here that mentions it, etc.

I think what I like most about recent changes is that the genre has shifted to be less about "how can we get these two characters to breed?" and more to discussing pack dynamics, the implications of designations and gender roles, and building interesting biological rules and intricacies in an author-unique universe.

#asks #anon #thank you for sharing anon! #a/b/o mention #a/b/o tw #myfic #theresurrectionist #a sky of honey

[cienie-isengardu]

[MK1] Bi-Han & Kuai Liang. Good brother? Evil brother? Nah, just different reactions to trauma, part 4

part 1, part 2, part 3

Sources provided a clear difference how brothers felt about their father. For Kuai Liang, the man was a cherished parent AND authority figure he built his life around. For Bi-Han, father (and mimicking him grieving Scorpion) was a source of frustration and limitation he did not agree with. Bi-Han and Tomas definitely had a more complex relationship with their father than Kuai Liang did.

So far, we got only little bits in regard to mother and her influences on brothers and Lin Kuei politics but enough to see how Sub-Zero and Scorpion’s relationship with her differ from how they felt about father.

Before I will dwell on those relationships I would like to point out a small detail noticed during my research: so far there is no direct mention that the mother was in fact a wife of Grandmaster. She is either referred to as a mother or parent - which makes sense, because her importance is related to the brothers, not to their father, so it would be weird if Bi-Han, Tomas or Kuai Liang talked about her as the “wife of Grandmaster”. At the same time, the lack of implication of marriage bond between mother and father[1] and how she is refered feels similar to the obscure reference from original timeline:

Born in America, Sub-Zero was the oldest of three children, which included a brother and sister. Their mother wanted a normal life for her sons, who had already been chosen by the Lin Kuei to become warriors for the clan. She tried in vein to hide them from their father whose own life in America was only a cover for his true identity and purpose. Eventually they were found and their father returned with them to his homeland. Their mother and sister were never seen or heard from again. (x)

Due to this, I decided to not describe her as the wife or supposed wife of Grandmaster and stick just to provided by sources terms of mother, parent and Lin Kuei fighter - so in advance sorry for repetition of those words. At the same time, this specific way of including the mother in Bi-Han, Tomas and Kuai Liang’s story creates a possibility of a more complicated family relationship, both between brothers and their parents or between the mother and father alone. And as a result the whole Lin Kuei inner politics, as we already have a hint of its complexity due to Cyrax and Sektor's loyalty to Sub-Zero threatening Kuai Liang’s birthright to the title of Grandmaster.  Keeping it in mind, here are some of my thoughts and conclusions about the mother and her sons. 

Let’s start with Kuai Liang. There is no doubt he respected and deeply cared for father’s teaching. As I hopefully proved in the previous part, there is a solid reason to think that the loss of a cherished parent affected Scorpion to the point that grief influenced his behavior (mimicking father) and in result, relationship with brothers (barely talking with them if it didn’t involve father or tradition up to Sub-Zero’s betrayal). He expressed a burning anger at Bi-Han for letting their father die.

Kuai Liang doesn’t seem to have the same emotional bond with mother. 

Sindel: Both your parents were excellent fighters. Scorpion: I can only hope to live up to their example.

Like yes, he will acknowledge Sindel’s opinion and hope to be good as his parents but that is like the only one time we hear him saying anything about mother - and even then, she is mentioned alongside the cherished father. 

Mind you, this is solely my impression, but this intro reminds me of film scenes in which a character is told by others about a parent they had never had the chance to meet or know too well. It may be a wrong impression, but there is something about Kuai Liang’s response that makes me wonder how old he was when mother died and if he lost a parent at a young age, did it fuel his deep dedication to father as there was no other authority figure to influence him as a person?

Granted, both Kuai Liang and Bi-Han never bring mother first in their intro dialogues - what A) says a lot about their upbringing and B) differs from some mentions of father. But in Scorpion’s intro there is hardly anything truly personal about his bond with mother, or her personal feelings on Lin Kuei duty, especially when compared to those focused on the previous Grandmaster.

In contrast, we have interaction between Tomas and Bi-Han:

Smoke: If Mother were alive -- Sub-Zero: She would applaud my actions.

Tomas and Bi-Han may have a different idea of how mother would react to their brotherly conflict, but both talk about her in a more personal way. Tomas invokes her the same way he brings father into discussion:

story mode: "Were he here, Father would advise us to wait without protest."

or

Sub-Zero: You were never truly one of us. Smoke: Were Father here, he would disagree.

So we can assume mother had an impact on Tomas as he respected her as an authority figure similar to father. Alternatively, he thinks Bi-Han is more likely to listen about mother than anything he will say about their father. 

The letter part would be an interesting parallel between Tomas and Bi-Han, because Smoke himself is implied to grow up without a father or not being close to his biological parent - when talking about his original family Smoke directly mentioned so far only mother and his twin sister.

Also, the same as happened with father in intro dialogues, Kuai Liang and Tomas do not talk about their Lin Kuei mother. Scorpion claimed that Tomas never mention his biological mother and sister:

Scorpion: You never speak of your mother and sister. Smoke: Their ghosts no longer haunt me, Kuai Liang.

but as the other intro dialogues proved, Tomas does talk about them directly and indirectly with some characters, 

like Kitana,

Smoke: My sister was my twin. Kitana: How it must have hurt to lose her.

Tanya (priestess warrior) 

Smoke: After losing my family, I lost my faith. Tanya: It's the only thing that can sustain you, Tomas.

and Liu Kang (Fire Lord who may be responsible for their death)

Liu Kang: I cannot bring back your family, Tomas. Smoke: You can't or you won't?

Like I said before, it is impossible to tell for sure about which mother, biological or adoptive, Smoke was speaking, but as he claimed Li Mei resemble him mother

Li Mei: I remind you of your mother? Smoke: No-nonsense and tough as nails, just like her.

I personally assume he meant the adoptive one, as according to Smoke’s ending he lived with the Lin Kuei family for around 15 years. Logically thinking he would have more clear memories of her than about the biological parent he lost in childhood. We of course have no idea when - and how - his Lin Kuei mother died, but if I’m right in my assumption, then Tomas is providing vital insight into what kind of person she was. As Tomas said, a tough and no-nonsense woman and that fits perfectly the image of an excellent Lin Kuei fighter, because frankly, Bi-Han and Kuai Liang easily fit that description too. As presumably, the majority of Lin Kuei warriors. 

Another thing to note, the adoptive mother is not identified by Tomas with kindness, comfort or warmth or anything most people usually associate mothers with. This of course does not mean his adoptive mother didn’t love him or was a bad parent but may give us an idea what it felt to grow up in a clan primarily focused on training warriors. A purpose that definitely affected how people interacted with each other and what was expected from children. 

However the most interesting thing about Tomas considering Li Mei to be similar to adoptive mother is the fact that from all possible female fighters, he identifies mother with a woman forced into and shaped by Umgadi system of servitude but who found her true purpose outside said system. 

Kitana: Resuming your old role is a waste of material. Li Mei: Being First Constable is my first, best destiny.

or

Liu Kang: I hear the Umgadi want you back. Li Mei: I prefer to remain First Constable.

And this finally led me to the eldest brother and Sub-Zero’s statement that mother “would applaud me”.

Bi-Han outright claims mother would be proud of him and logically thinking, supportive of his choices. Which is a drastic contrast to how he perceives father as he did call the man a fool that doomed Lin Kuei.

And here comes an important thing: though sources barely provide us an idea who Bi-Han’s mother was in original timeline - a Lin Kuei herself who knew what lay ahead of her sons already chosen by the clan or just a woman that was unlucky to meet and have three children with an assassin working undercover in America - she was literally the only person that tried to give Bi-Han and Kuai Liang a normal, safe life. This woman, whoever she was, challenged a powerful assassin clan to save her two sons and daughter and was presumably killed alongside the daughter by Bi-Han’s father. This definitely affected Bi-Han’s worldview and interestingly, the sources have never implied Sub-Zero had any strong emotional ties with his father. 

Mythologies Sub-Zero’s backstory mentions only Bi-Han and Kuai Liang being kidnapped against mother’s will, that cryomancy was passed down to Bi-Han from father, that he took his place and mantle when the man died and that is basically all we know about their relationship. 

Between brothers, it is always Kuai Liang to mention other male members of their family with respect, as can be seen with new timeline Scorpion and alternative timeline Kuai Liang:

Sub-Zero: I disown you in every way. Noob Saibot: Then disown my name, 'Sub-Zero'. Sub-Zero: The name was Grandfather's first.

and

Sub-Zero: Grandfather? Sub-Zero: Defeat me to earn my mantle. Sub-Zero: You honor me with your kombat.

despite the possibility that said Grandfather may be the one that kidnapped brothers to enroll them into the Lin Kuei clan, while Bi-Han as a Noob Saibot was the one bringing their mother, even if just to be sarcastic/ironic:

Noob Saibot: You disappoint me. Sub-Zero: The feeling is mutual, brother. Noob Saibot: Mother would be so proud.

and on two separate occasions talked to Jacqui about her mom that passed shortly before MK11’s events:

Noob Saibot: Vera's soul calls you. Jacqui: Keep mama's name out your mouth, Revenant! Noob Saibot: Revenant? I am Wraith!

and

Noob Saibot: Return to your mother's arms. Jacqui: She's dead, asshole. Noob Saibot: And her soul is mine.

and isn’t it a surprisingly similar thing to current timeline Bi-Han talking to Kitana and Mileena about their dead mother?

And yes, Liu Kang’s timeline is a fresh start and a lot of things have changed but some elements seem to repeat themselves, whether the Keeper of Time agrees with it or not. Which is why I think mother - and her fate - again deeply influenced Bi-Han, the same as he was influenced in the original timeline by her desperate attempt to save him and Kuai Liang from Lin Kuei bondage. 

Bi-Han claimed mother would applaud his action, so she may herself feel resentment for Grandmaster’s idea of tradition and duty to Earthrealm and that resentment was passed down to her eldest son. Alternatively, it was her death that made Sub-Zero question both the nature of the relationship between Lin Kuei and Fire Lord and his father’s wisdom.

This leads me to another detail that may not be intentional on NRS’s part but it is repeated through the sources. The same as mother is never said to be the wife of Grandmaster - what admittedly is the most logical assumption for a traditional (patriarchal) clan as a way to secure the line of legal heir from proper marriage  - the decision of adopting Tomas was made solely by Grandmaster. And so we have:

Smoke’s bio: As a boy, Smoke lived to hunt with his family. Their final hunt, however, ended in tragedy. Having accidentally trespassed onto Lin Kuei lands, they were attacked. Smoke was orphaned. Ashamed by his warriors' actions, the Lin Kuei's Grandmaster adopted Smoke. He raised him alongside his sons, Sub-Zero and Scorpion.

and

Kitana: You are Kuai Liang's adopted brother? Smoke: His father's honor demanded that he take me in.

and

Reptile: Lucky for you, Kuai Liang's father took you in. Smoke: It didn't feel that way at the time.

or

Bi-Han, story mode: Mind your place, Tomas. Father may have taken you in, made you one of us… but your blood will never be Lin Kuei.

As I talked before about Bi-Han and Tomas forced brotherhood on different occasion it struck me how the adoption resolved mainly around father’s selfish reasons like saving his honor and erasing the feeling of guilt rather the boy’s safety and emotional health. There is something truly disturbing about forcing a child to be part of clan that murdered his family over a trivial matter. But there is also something disturbing about how the mother had no say in the adoption of Tomas, as there isn’t any hint the man consulted that with her. Now, it is understandable that in a very traditional (patriarchy) clan the father, as the Grandmaster and head of his family, could make decisions without consultation with others, including his own wife or children. But usually people who love or at least mutually respect each other discuss the vital matters before making decisions whose consequences will have such a great impact on their and their children’s life. Adopting a child, so greatly traumatized and from totally foreign culture, is something that should be a joint decision of father and mother if both were supposed to raise said kid alongside their own. In that regard the father comes off badly, not only by how sources made his reasoning selfish (“his honor demanded”, “Ashamed by his warriors' actions”, “father wanted us to be brothers”) but also how uncaring he was toward the mother of his children, especially compared to Sindel and Jerrord. 

We have no idea if Bi-Han’s father and mother were in love or were forced into a relationship by demands of tradition, maybe even through arranged marriage. But we have Sindel that though married Jerrord as a means to ensure peace, 

Sindel's Bio: When Sindel ascended to Outworld's throne, she worried that she was ill-prepared. Adding to her stress: her impending arranged marriage to Jerrod, an Outworld noble. Forced into it to placate a rebellious region, Sindel could only pray that he was worthy. To Sindel’s delight, Jerrod proved an ideal partner. 

she was loved, respected and supported by her husband and the feeling was mutual.

So far there is little suggesting Bi-Han’s mother had any real influence over Lin Kuei’s politics or that Grandmaster sought out her advice. She is not called the wife of Grandmaster, a title suggesting some high social position and so far only Sindel's remark gives us any idea what her role in clan could be. Liu Kang and Scorpion do not bring her dedication to Earthrealm and duty as a counterargument to Bi-Han’s resentment the way they talk about previous Grandmaster’s teaching and wisdom. She is pretty much removed from the picture and only Sindel and Tomas bothered to mention her at all. Sindel by praising Kuai Liang’s both parents as excellent fighters and Tomas by recalling her authority - the only one that Bi-Han seems to agree with, as according to him reclaiming Lin Kuei independence is what would please his mother.

If Tomas and Bi-Han have such a different idea of mother, the first question coming to mind is which brother speaks truth and which one is delusional. However I think that is not right question, because mother could not to speak about her desire to gain independence for Lin Kuei with Tomas - not because she didn’t love or accept the boy as her own, but because the orphan, as not born into clan, could not understand fully the Lin Kuei situation. Especially not when little Tomas was mourning the killed family and not when it became clear he and adoptive father became close. 

Another thing worth to examine is the possibility that Bi-Han, consciously or not, also associates Li Mei with his mother, as 

he clearly respect her, a former Umgadi turned into First Constable, more than Tanya, the current leader of priestess warriors:

Sub-Zero: No one in your order can defeat a Lin Kuei. Tanya: A nescient boast which is easily disproven.

or

Sub-Zero: Mileena sends a bodyguard, not a warrior? Tanya: Underestimate me at your peril, Sub-Zero.

vs

Sub-Zero: I hear your skills are formidable. Li Mei: As are those of all who have been Umgadi.

he encourages Li Mei to stop serve Royal Family and govern themselves

Sub-Zero: Your constables could also govern. Li Mei: We are sworn only to protect and serve.

something he usually does not do, as Sub-Zero has no interest in people outside Lin Kuei.

I’m painfully aware there is not enough source material to have clear conclusions and many of my thoughts are based on guesswork and comparative analysis. That said, I do think that as death of father deeply influenced Kuai Liang, the same happened with Bi-Han when their mother presumably was killed on duty. We have no idea what is the age gap between brothers, however I do think that Kuai Liang, as the younger brother, could not have a chance to know their mother well so all his devotion was focused on the living parent that raised him. If the mother personally wished for or actively supported Lin Kuei independence, she could do so as a way to ensure her children will have a better life than endless servitude, the same way the original timeline incarnation tried to save her sons from servitude to the assassin clan. In that case, Bi-Han was raised with an additional influence that shaped his mindset about his duty to clan above duty to Liu Kang and Earthrealm. If mother’s death was somehow the fault of Grandmaster and/or Fire Lord, as in, they sent her on ill-fated mission, it could be the origin of Bi-Han’s resentment against both men. 

There is much more to say about the conflict between tradition vs independence and I for sure will talk about that soon, but the next part will be focused on POWER.

SIDENOTES:

[1] Alternative timeline seems the closest to presenting Bi-Han and Kuai Liang’s parents as the “normal family” as both look devastated when their children were kidnapped by Lin Kuei.

At the same time, MK11’s intro dialogues of Sub-Zero and Noob suggests their grandfather was once a Sub-Zero himself, with raises a question how much their parents were aware of danger from the assassin clan and if any of them were a Lin Kuei themselves.

#mortal kombat #bi han #sub zero #smoke #kuai liang #scorpion #tomas vrbada #li mei #bi han and kuai liang's mother #deserves so much better #the weirdest conclusion so far is how tomas provides more insight into kuai liang and bi han's mom than kuai liang alone #and how intros use smoke to compare female characters sidetracked by narrative (lin kuei mother and harumi) to women from game #also i don't wanna see bi han tomas and kuai liang's father as an abusive and/or despotic parent #but the sources doesn't paint him much in good light when there is jarrod to compare #i did not talk about the possibility that mom could be cryomancer herself and have this special bond with bi han due to shared ice powers #because there is barely anything how ice powers works in this timeline ;/

[melonteee]

First I really would like to thank you for your amazing work, it’s thanks to your videos that I finally kicked myself into catching up on OP. I don’t regret it the slightest, thank you for dragging me back into my life-long mad obsession, it really feels like coming home lmao.

Your Law video in particular really punched me in the guts, your analysis really shed a new light on him for me and now I’m obsessed with him. I was thinking about the potential place of guilt in Law’s quest of avenging Cora, especially survivor’s guilt and it's something that is worth mentioning I think. I noticed that Law blames himself a lot in his flashback, saying at several occasions that Cora’s been hurt because of him, and also in the light novel, where he loses himself in “what if”, where guilt eats him alive to the point of having nightmares and even telling himself than if he hadn’t met Cora then Cora would still be alive. That’s such a sad thing to think.

For survivors who suffer from this kind of ptsd, the mere fact of being alive is a constant source of guilt and anxiety. Law probably doesn’t feel worthy of living over the sacrifice of Cora, feels responsible for his death and overly blames his whole existence for it. His already existing feelings of worthlessness (induced by Doffy’s teaching methods, the internalized rejection due to amber lead and the emotional neglect he suffered from) and this overwhelming guilt definitely feed into each other in a vicious circle. This leads him to this need of constantly trying to make sense of his survival and his existence, like trying to pay penance and justify being alive. This is why he came to overburdening himself with the responsibility of avenging Cora’s death, and why he was so self-destructive while doing so. Because there’s also a strong process of identification to the deceased, as a coping mechanism. The survivors have this need to mirror the suffering the deceased went through, it’s a way for them to feel closer to the dead, like if they want to join them in death. It’s the survivor’s attempt to regain his own identity and to reduce the guilt and the psychological distress. I can definitely see that in Law, in how he made Corazon his whole identity, and how he was very willing to die to achieve his quest. There’s definitely a martyr complex going on there. He launched his whole-ass plan at 26 years old, same age Cora died, and I refuse to believe this is a coincidence. It's like he was forbidding himself to live longer than Cora did. And to think that he had all this simmering in him for basically half of his life...that's insane.

Anyway to me this guilt plays a lot in Law’s dedication to Cora and his obsession in avenging him. I also think about how he felt responsible for dragging Luffy into his mess and how he was willing to die as a penance. For me it is also one of the things that definitively separate Law from Doffy on a fundamental level. Because Doffy never has shown the slightest amount of guilt for everything he did, and while he might feel regrets for having killed his brother, regrets are different than remorses.

I’m sorry that was a long one. Told you I was obsessed. I hope the read was interesting anyway!

This is an amazing read anon! I don't have much else to say other than I totally agree! Law's character totally explores survivor's guilt, even if not said outright. It hits double hard considering not ONLY has he gotten this guilt from Corazon dying, but from being the ONLY survivor of Flevance town as well.

Robin was similar in this case, thinking her life was somewhat expendable and 'allowing' herself to die. The only thing is, Robin very much DIDN'T want to, she just saw no way to be ABLE to live. Her mother told her she must live, and Robin only found the will to KEEP living and being ALLOWED to live due to the Strawhats.

Law, on the other hand, was seemingly ready to die from the get go. At 10, he accepted his death from white lead poisoning - expecting to die at 13. Then, after Corazon saved him, Law fully expected to die at 26 with his fight against Doflamingo.

Law has never been able to grasp his own life in his hands, it feels as if he's had this idea he SHOULDN'T be alive and - since he IS alive - he must be alive for SOMETHING. Which is why when Sengoku tells him that ALL Corazon would want is for Law to LIVE, the way LAW wants, it was a big thing for Law!

Law's never had the thought that maybe he can just...exist. Maybe he doesn't need to be alive for a reason. There's truly an aspect of survivor's guilt in such an idea.

BUT now, thanks to Luffy and the people around him, Law's managed to break away from this line of thought. Law is truly starting to live for himself now, and it's wonderful to see!

#ask #melonask

[muthaz-rapapa]

Hirogaru Sky Impressions (4/5)

Keeping this short since I’m still tired from my trip and have stuff to do before going back to work tomorrow.

Thankfully, the past 10 eps only consisted of Majesty’s debut and some (really great) fillers.

Starting with Majesty then. I’m honestly surprised I was correct about them keeping her a toddler despite aging her up when transforming. And as I guessed as much, this means she doesn’t really have a full-fledged character arc of her own.

Not that it’s a bad thing since Ellee-chan still gets a good amount of development cuz she’s a growing child, after all. Which is mainly shown through things like her speech improving significantly each day, learning how to better express herself and her wants. And of course, the heartwarming interactions with her friends who also have their moments in finding the best ways they can to support her (like how Ageha readily believed Ellee-chan who was frustrated when she had trouble transforming into Majesty).

These are all within range of what is expected for a child her age so a whole arc isn’t really needed and therefore, more time and focus can be dedicated to the older Cures, too. So I’m quite pleased with that.

But I also can’t lie that it’s a shame we won’t see what a preteen Ellee-chan is like outside her alter ego.

That and considering her VA is Aoi Koga (of Kaguya-sama fame), we won’t get to hear a further extent of her acting in this role either.

Don’t get me wrong, Aoi Koga absolutely nailed the part of a baby, able to bring out Ellee-chan’s cuteness without making her sound annoying but…the potential is already a loss at this point.

Additionally, for a midseason Cure, Majesty has the least going for her in other departments compared to those before her.

Up till now, they’ve barely scraped at the lore associated with her identity. So when she’s not fighting, she’s limited to being slightly better than the average mascot.

The only attack in her arsenal is simultaneously a group attack so she has to share it with the others. Not to mention half the stock footage doesn’t have her at the center but Sky instead. Despite the attack bearing her name.

With only 8 eps left in the season, it seems the writers brought Majesty out as part of Precure’s yearly formula schedule more than anything. Her purpose is mainly to renew viewers’ excitment in the show (and generate desire to buy the newest toy) since her debut brings a little something new to the table…but she is not allowed to outshine this season’s real star, the lead Cure.

Personally, I think the pros outweigh the cons so it doesn’t bother me too much but it’s also too noticeably flawed and biased for me to really accept it as okay.

Moving on, the fillers.

They were all amazing, definitely better than the previous 10 eps.

Mashiro continuing to pursue the path towards becoming a picture book author and coming to terms with the fact that not everyone will receive her work with good reviews yet still choosing to draw because she’s doing it for herself and those who do enjoy her books was something that resonated with me deeply.

Then more time was devoted to her childhood friendship with Ageha which was super wonderful. We really needed that ep of how they became friends and the writers delivered so excellent job 👍

Ageha finally encountering struggles in her job and learning that it was okay to show sadness in front of her students was something I’ve been waiting a long time to see as well. It was especially good because it corresponded splendidly with the first ep of Otona Precure within the same week (which is also great so far) as the intro of that dealt with Nozomi trying to help her own student.

Portraying adults as realistic adults instead of perfect caricatures who can do anything. Showing hardships by not sweeping them under the rug but acknowleding them with the screentime they deserve so the characters can actually process their own feelings and work out a solution. Displaying a healthy level of idealism, not based on generic platitudes but actual belief. I really appreciate that.

Yoyo cleverly getting Tsubasa a promotion to a sage in Skyland’s royal court was also 10,000 meters of screaming joy for me cuz yea, that boy is way too smart and talented to just settle for flying around. He clearly treasures his homeland and wants to make it a better place for all its inhabitants, including the Dragon Tribe that had been cut off from the rest of the country for decades. He obviously has what it takes to become a diplomat.

He acquired a new dream to devote himself and his skills to and that’s what anyone who’s as wholesome as Tsubasa should get. So it was fulfilling to see that come true for him.

Lastly, Sora. She only had one ep to herself this time but it was a good ep with a good topic (probably one of the best of the Sora eps). Honestly, I think I liked it more because it was only one ep, lol

So yea, with this, I think I’m all set for the rest of the show as far as Tsubasa and Ageha’s arcs are concerned. There will still be more fillers until ep 45 at least, plenty of time to close out the Mashiro and Sora’s as well as the lore surrounding Ellee-chan so it’s just a matter of concluding the story in a satisfying manner.

Other than that, I’m also wondering if we’ll get any super forms for HiroSky since it’s already this late in the season…

…but you never know as it can happen in the finale. Not sure if HiroSky will get its standalone movie in Mar either but if so, we might see something there, too.

Ok, that is all. The season will pass by in a flash so enjoy the rest of HiroSky with a full heart and let’s begin to look forward to next Precure in the new year. Bye for now!

#hirogaru sky precure

[heliianth]

i care! indulge in the urge

okay, i'm going to try being as brief as possible

the... disappointing "fast friends forever" bio got me thinking about shadows messy but effective character arc leading up to 06 and how the nature of it is like a recipe to get people bothered about the whole "shadow's motivations have to do with maria's wish and nothing else" thing. and i do have commentary on that and how it plays into how no one agrees on fucking anything except segas characterization being bad. but i guess i want to commentate more on Why everyone agrees on his arc being important to the point of being mad that it gets ignored, despite like a majority of it happening in shth05 which is extremely unpopular among shadow fans for supposedly being like the first omen of impending character degradation, i guess

i see a lot of sentiments by people, especially in context with how shadow is written nowadays, asserting that there's more nuance to shadow's arrogant attitude than it seems, usually with the conclusion that it's born out of some insecurity and that he's trying to compensate for something, which i suppose is a natural conclusion when it comes to why someone would act the way he does

i've personally gone on record saying that this character trait is the fundamental flaw making communicating and connecting with others on any meaningful level extremely difficult for him, because he others himself as wholly unique and unable to be understood: if he's above, then he's alone (i'm using present tense here because it's the appropriate way to talk about this sort of thing, but ill get to that later). i do think this is a character trait he has or had at some point but no one ever seems to identify what this insecurity is with any sort of confidence beyond headcanons, and thats what i want to talk about real quick

yeah yeah, i said i was gonna be brief but theres a readmore. whatever.

shadow is a character who is intimately concerned with his place in the world and how he affects it. it's appropriate for a character who was artificially created in a test tube to worry about his purpose of creation, and that artificiality lent to a sense of non-autonomy. in sa2, shadow is constantly relying on others to tell him what his identity, and thus purpose, is. it's a huge nuance that i don't see brought up enough that he remains totally dedicated to blowing up earth despite it being implied that he begins developing doubts both through the lyrics of rhythm & balance (white jungle):

(it's a popular interpretation that the person talking to shadow here is supposed to be maria, considering he hallucinates her voice multiple times during sa2. i personally think it also ties into his newfound and unwanted care for rouge—that he is dismissing maria who is reminding him of her wish for revenge because it's making him feel too conflicted with the mission of white jungle. which is to save rouge from the bomb)

and because he reflects on an encounter with maria during which he questions his purpose and creation directly afterwards, telling her that he wonders if going down to earth will yield answers. which lets the audience know pretty directly that he's starting to ask these questions again. but it doesnt do anything because shadow doesn't have an identity outside of what others want from him yet.

(i suppose i should mention that this aspect of his character is also conveyed through his japanese dialogue specifically using boku 僕 but i feel like that's been covered to death and i don't know enough about japanese)

obviously, when he finds out that his memories were fucked with and maria's wish was different, he immediately switches sides without a second thought. his "last words" are even a reference to what she wanted from him, and the trailer to the final story mentions wishes as well ("are wishes eternal?" iirc), so it's clearly a huge part of shadow and the themes of sa2 as a whole.

i think this can be extrapolated a little bit into the idea that shadow is someone who is deeply terrified of annihilation. appropriate for an immortal who was artificially created to serve a greater purpose. this is, at least imo, central to his character and the reason why he's so adverse to autonomy—it leaves room to be annihilated. if he's a tool for another person, then he will always exist as an extension of someone else.

this character trait persists in later games after they resurrect him from the dead, often coming up in the form of him trying to recover his memories. it's kind of a no-brainer for an amnesiac character to seek answers about their past but it continually reoccurs with shadow to the point of making him come across as obsessive. though this could be read as both heroes and shth05 retreading the same ground (and that is probably the case LOL) i think it's understandable considering a) he got genuinely no closure in heroes b) apparently he eventually remembers maria's death and it effects him enough to dwell on it, indicating that its still a source of trauma, c) it's pretty expected for a dude who doesn't know how to form his own identity

the reason i mentioned shth05 and its reputation among shadow fans is because its the game where this trait is actually addressed in a way i feel is meaningful and it's where lots of people get the idea that shadow has grown away from relying on maria's wish to make decisions. the game features multiple different factions essentially ordering shadow what to do, all resulting in him making some definitive conclusion about his purpose, creation, and identity. he doesn't really make a single decision for himself beyond trying to recover the past (which is just as much a search for external direction as doing whatever someone says) in this game and it's completely in character because he's never really... done that. before. even his inclusion in team dark was rouge's decision. he talks big shit in this game about nobody telling him what to do but, like, actions speak louder than words do, man. someone should tell him that.

obviously we know the conclusion and its notable that the canonical ending of the game is vague in what route shadow took and any single choice always conflicts with dialogue, indicating that he didn't follow any route and that his decision to move on from his past was made after actually spending time not being a vessel for someone else's desires

i want to note that its really cool that the shadow android and the black arms hivemind stuff can be read as kind of a representation of annihilation—that shadow isn't unique, hes just another face in an identical crowd, not notable in any significant way. it's also worth pointing out that both of these situations land him under direct control of another person (eggman and black doom respectively) and that despite his lack of autonomy he takes issue with the androids and the black arms probably because he feels like he wouldn't be able to differentiate himself among a whole army. i have a suspicion that if he was approached individually and treated like he was special for being chosen to do a task, he would be much more compliant. which actually is kind of what happens in the dark routes when black doom retraumatizes him with images of the ark.

so uh. conclusion? shadow has learned how to be a person and sometimes acts like an arrogant cunt because he still hasn't unlearned his fear of annihilation, which requires making himself unique and unignorable. and we all know how much shadow bulldozes right over shit when he thinks its necessary.

i admit i dont know how to end this succinctly. its just interesting that shth05 is regarded as one of shadow's worst outings when its, like, the only game that really addresses what i would consider The Root Fundamental Flaw™ that is the source of all his other flaws in any meaningful way. it wouldve benefitted pretty heavily from a more cohesive story, yeah, and to say the execution left something to be desired would be an understatement. but it's centrality to shadow and who he is by the end of his arc (06) and how he should be written now is kind of unignorable and thats manifested in all of the (rightful) outrage over sega not allowing him to separate motivation from maria anymore. Despite the flack shth05 gets for mischaracterization

didnt quite intend for this to come across as defending shth05 as vehemently as it does, but. well. its just something i noticed! and i had lots to say!

#heliianswers #anyway. thank u for caring. its almost 1 am im going to sleep #sth #heliichats #this is also why im always upset about the ultimate lifeform thing. bc its such a succinct indicator of where shadows at #with the whole annihilation and autonomy thing #like his belief in it at all still kind of tells me he still has growth to do. and its telling that the game he feels most mature in is 06 #where iirc its not mentioned like at all???? #so it is so frustrating. when sega just dont acknowledge his struggles with it at all ITS HIS FATAL FLAW. HIS WHOLE THING. bites kills maim

[multifairyus]

Genuine question about the Legendborn series do you know how many books are set to be in the series ? Or is that it just those two that have come out ? Also if someone wanted to get into the series how would you persuade them to read it?

The Appeal of the Legendborn Cycle Series

According to Deon’s website, it was planned as a trilogy…the wording makes me hold out hope for more books, especially since it was announced in February that we’re getting a TV series

Onto how I’d persuade them to read it: whew boy do I have THOUGHTS

Tl; dr:

1. Magic system is enhanced by being grounded in reality; the book itself stays grounded by being easy to read while maintaining mystique and intrigue

2. Complex character interactions that arise naturally from strong characterizations and a dynamic plot allow for compelling love interests/a believable love triangle.

3. Themes of grief, identity, heritage, and agency are elevated by the unique perspective of a teenage black girl in the American south.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

• It’s a YA book, young adult. IDK how old you are or the people you wanna persuade. Most people stop reading before finishing high school and aren’t likely to pick up books that a) require a lot of background/genre knowledge to understand b) dense syntax and complicated plots. The Legendborn Cycle (TLC) being YA counters both of these issues. It’s audiobook is an excellent way to consume it, since ~500 pages is a big ask for people who aren’t readers all. Emotive with distinctive character voices.

• TLC subverts and/or reimagines major writing tropes in a way that is satisfying and compelling, not just as a “gotcha” to shock the audience. Getting into HOW exactly is major spoiler territory, but in general you could mention secret magical societies, lines of succession, love triangles, magic systems…you can’t build a story without tropes, but using them in interesting ways is how you circumvent it being cookie cutter.

• Very solid worldbuilding. It’s Urban Fantasy without forgetting the “Urban” part. While the plot doesn’t focus much on Onceborns, the fact that TLC touches on how a magical institution would last for centuries as a secret keeps things grounded without getting bogged down with worldbuilding details that don’t come into play later. Getting into Bloodmarked is spoiler territory…but you could mention how TLC has draws analogies between the consolidation, conservation, and enforcement of power within the Legendborn world and within real life society. That’s the focus in the first book. The second book sets up main characters to have even more dynamic character arcs as their worldview expands alongside the reader.

• Thus far, nothing feels like fluff or filler. All the worldbuilding, character dynamics/interactions, and plot threads are followed through, or set up for something later on. Callbacks and echos galore. Lots of rereading value.

• Bree, Nick, and Sel’s relationships are interesting BECAUSE of the plot, not the other way around. Their feelings for each other are informed by revelations in what they do *outside* of pining for each other. The “insta first love golden retriever” Nick and “secretly dedicated argumentative black cat” Sel have more depth than those tropes would imply. The same traits that manifest as romance to Bree, but look different to side characters—and especially to each other—while still being consistent overall. The fact that the two HAVE so much history with each other is entirely because of plot reasons, which means it will always carry weight in how they interact with each other and with Bree. You can argue that one romance is more compelling than the other (I am an unabashed Brelwyn/BreeSel endgame shipper) but you can’t argue that there is an actual dilemma for the main character, Bree—which is all that matters for a compelling love story, triangular or otherwise. AND it doesn’t subsume the whole plot—it’s adventure first and a romance second with plenty of room to fill in details yourself.

Okay I think that’s a good enough answer to your question without straight up ranting about how much I love this damn book series lol. Hope that was helpful!

#legendborn #the legendborn cycle #bloodmarked #askme #omg can you tell this is my first one #shiii got me blushin and everything you want MY opinion? #be careful what you ask for cuz I won’t shut up about this #book review

[moving-to-dreamwinged]

cw// vent below the cut!

no outright triggering content mentioned but references to trauma/ptsd (this is vaguely selfship related i promise snjkfhfndsj).

LONG, sorry . beware! but i've been trying to examine myself a little more closely lately and i just got carried away ig

i sort of always feel like i'm alone in this, i guess i was wondering if anyone else feels the same way in any capacity?

so i've always been a really naturally creative person; when i was younger i was the kid that was always doodling all over their assignments; i would win art and writing contests, stuff like that. it's a lot of artists and imaginative ppl on here specially in the selfship community, so i'm sure y'all will understand this, but being "creative" was kind of literally my entire identity growing up. i preferred fiction to reality and never understood how to get along with the other kids, so it became my escape , whether i was creating or consuming media. it was , in entirety, who i was.

except when i got a little older, i went through a traumatic event. i won't get into specifics, but i was diagnosed with ptsd among other things. and i pretty much blocked it all out! only recently, years later, have i started to realize the effects the trauma actually had on me.

i noticed that my creativity is basically GONE. i'm unable to come up with plotlines in my head; only when i'm very strictly guided by a pre-determined objective or assignment requirement. when i was younger i could write elaborate fantasy storylines with dragons n shit, fully fleshed out character archetypes and interactions, but now it's like my mind is a total fucking blank. NOTHING comes up. especially dialogue; i'm just not capable of imagining it. art is the same way.

it's honestly insane. i don't even remember what it was like to have natural imagination. i miss it more than anything and i feel like i've lost something intensely important. not to mention how ingrained it was in my identity. it's all i was, yet it all stopped after i experienced trauma.

i feel so alone, and it really ties into my relationship with self-shipping. as much comfort as self-shipping brings me, i feel so very invalidated by the fact that i'm not able to create or write content for my ship. i try, but i just can't do it in the end. i see others that make these beautiful drawings or these deep meaningful fanfics and i feel so guilty. like i'm less dedicated, and it makes my relationship/my account less valid, not only to myself but to everyone else. my f/o deserves more than that, but i can't give it to them. in real life, they'd probably be with someone else who could instead. yk that sort of thing :'( it's a whole rabbit hole of thinking that i'll just cut off now but yeah u get the point. super guilty.

i could go on with this for hours but it's already super long. but yeah. the original intention of this blog was for me to try writing again but in a way that was comfortable and safe for me, by combining it w my biggest coping mechanism LOL. i've made some baby steps in my drafts but we'll see how it goes ig. just wanted to get this off my chest and see if maybe anyone else has had a similar experience, idk it just makes me feel so guilty and like i'm a fraud of myself in general :'3

#.vent #f/o #self ship

[pink-octopede64]

gonna ramble more about my oc egg under the cut because oh boy it is long (i mean it seriously i go completely off)

i guess to talk more about eggy boy: i love him a lot and whenever i post him in mainly discord servers that i feel comfortable enough showing him, others seem to love him too and of course makes me very happy. but i have a bunch of insecurities surrounding him and it’s all related to judgement.

now, it is very embarrassing for me to admit and i am literally using all of my courage just trying to type it out but i am sorta into tickling but only strictly the sfw side. i love thinking about my favorite characters laughing and the playful bonds either romantic or platonic/familial but if i see things like bondage, torture, or anything nsfw/weird, i immediately become very uncomfortable. and i do want to draw sfw tickle art (i have before albeit won’t post for reasons later) but not only i suck at anatomy but i know trying to look up references will give me weird shit.

when i made egg back in may of 2019, he was literally just a one off character. the only reason he existed because on sony sketch, you could do collabs and one of the main one was dares or erase the covered boxes to reveal something. and one was tickle themed and as a weird joke, i done it and got 2 dares: draw my crush tickling me and make a tickle monster. i bailed at the first one especially since i didn’t have a crush anyway but i did the 2nd dare and that is how egg came to be!

fast forward to 2020 and egg was barely used outside from 2 occasional ref sheets. i made a fanart tag on sketchers united (sony sketch got shut down later in 2019) and strangely, egg did got some fanart despite the lack of use. someone even asked me if egg and benet the teddy bear were friends and even tho it was the crossover i initially thought i didn’t need, i said yes and they made the fanart. i did quickly grew fond of the idea so that is pretty much how eggy, benet, and eventually seren became the main trio they are now.

TL:DR for this section: egg was originally a one off joke character that eventually became my main oc because people loved him

back on track, outside from some friends who know me in 2 friend servers and followers on sketchers united, i never told anyone else on instagram and some discord servers that egg is a tickle monster as i would always refer him as simply a monster oc and never brought up anything tickling related in the slightest (although i think the feathers should be an open sign but idk what they think). not only i would already be embarrassed by the mere topic of tickling alone regardless of situations but i am so afraid of what they would think if they found out about him being a tickle monster. they would probably automatically assume that i’m one of those weird people and judge me harshly forever.

the same can apply to tickling in general. there is a god damn reason why that (unless i suddenly gain a heavy amount of courage,) i don’t post the art i’ve mentioned earlier and that is embarrassment and fear of judgement from friends and mutuals. i even considered making a dedicated sfw tickling blog with a whole new identity but my art style is recognizable enough that at least one person might immediately know who i am and things would be awkward FAST!

yeahhhhh i deeply love egg and others i know love him too but it will take a VERY LONG TIME to get over all of my insecurities and paranoia surrounding him 

[melancholyandfrogs]

To All the Sins You Couldn't Commit

!! fw: depression, mentions of abuse, mature themes, foster care system, cps, strong metaphors and adult language !!

the story begins with something simple; grief.

❝His inherent trust issues rage under his skin, and him wearing his heart on his sleeve doesn’t help. Time and time again, he has been torn apart by others and put back together in ways that suit them, that benefit them. Never him.

A quiet, shy kid in this house, in the next, they wanted him to laugh loudly at all their jokes -in the next, a punching bag. In the one after, a quiet, submissive presence that’s just as easy to call on as he is to dismiss.

Will is someone with a weak voice and a strong pair of lungs. He could scream a house down, if only he could find the right words first. He never does.

He is seventeen and confused about why everything still hurts when it shouldn’t.❞

There are five parts of the book, and each part is dedicated to one of the stages of grief that Will is going through—denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally, acceptance.

Each chapter has an emotion that sets the tone of the piece, such as 'Anticipation' paired with a matching sin, such as Envy, that sets the characters actions into place.

The seven deadly sins play a big part of this story.

(Envy, Lust, Pride, Sloth, Wrath, Greed, Gluttony)

This book takes a large spin on all of the ways that a sin can be shown in someone's character and the ways it can completely mold someone just based on what they strive for most.

And of course, being sinful is fun every now and again.

The book takes place in a little town—like so many other stories—named Black River, next to a very popular town the cast will visit called Burndaux, where our main cast of characters live (it is a very sporty town, where athletes are treated like gods but people who are 'different' aren't as accepted as they should be—but it isn't a generally degrading town overall).

Over the course of the book, we go through different phases like there are different seasons:

Summer, where Will is just getting used to living in Black River and joins the soccer team, fall, where school starts and everything kicks into high gear, winter, for Yule/Christmas/Hanukkah and family gathering and learning about life, and the new year for resolutions and confessions.

This story begins with Will in the backseat of a moving car, eyes casted out to the trees moving past with his case manager/social worker talking to him about what just happened.

Let's move onto our cast, and how they're described at the beginning of the group as the main character (Will) is meeting them:

❝It wasn’t long before they arrived at the park, a common group hang-out from the sounds of it, and parked right on the grass. Clement seemed casual enough doing so that Will didn’t ponder for too long if it was actually allowed (willingly breaking the rules is something that he never grew comfortable with).

“Okay, so here’s the breakdown-” Saying this, the unruly teenage boy beside him opens the door, slams it and walks around while still talking, so Will misses whatever he says next until he arrives on his side of the Jeep to motion for him to follow.

He scrambles for the door handle.

“-we have me, ‘n I’m awesome, so don’t stress t’much about me. Second we have Minnie, Minerva Mackey, she’s awesome too but less awesome than me, she can be pretty strict at times but she’s still fun. You don’t really have to be cautious with her.” Clement glances back only briefly to make sure he’s actually being followed, talking the whole time as he briskly walks to wherever his friends are.

All Will could think is he couldn’t explain this in the car?

“Next you have Jude and Demi, they’re identical twins and the only difference ‘tween them is that Jude is a little bit taller -and they’re both tall. Like tall-tall. I’m tall, yeah, mhm, but they’re taller.” Given as Clement is half a head taller than Will himself, the redhead isn’t all together pleased by hearing this. “Actually, I think Mine’ might be taller than you too. ‘M not sure though. With Demi, say and do whatever you want, but maybe, I don’t know, be a little more aware around Jude. He can be harsh.”

Will’s nose wrinkles. “Are they all nice?”

Another glance down is followed by an amused snort. “Oh absolutely not, they’re not, nah. Demi’s the nicest but then again he grew up being humbled by Jude, so it’s no surprise. I’d say you’d probably get along best with Demi, he’s got anxiety too.”

That’s… great. 

Will loves being summed up by his mental illness.

“Oh bu’ they’re not mean either!” Rushing this out, it’s clear that Clement saw the worry festering in Will, because he fully turns and stops them from walking; one of his clear indicators that he not only thinks what he’s saying is important but also requires whoever he’s talking to to pay the most attention. “We’re teenagers, we’re jackasses, but they’re all kind. Sarcastic weird bags’a flesh, but kind. Mom told me that there’s a difference between being nice and being kind. They’re that difference.”❞

Introducing,

William "Will" Orion Nile

He is a 5'8", green eyed ginger who has more freckles than he knows what to do with. Because he firmly believes that presentation is important—he dresses well in jeans, button ups, nice looking long sleeves, and while his sneakers are old, he takes care of them.

He is just anxious all of the time.

Moving onto mental, he has a raging case of not so much being suicidal but having the mindset of 'I don't think I want to be alive anymore' and a inferiority complex while simultaneously being a people pleaser.

He grew up displaced in the foster system, he doesn't know why he was put up for adoption (yet) because the file is sealed until he is eighteen (he's seventeen at the beginning of the book, but he will be turning eighteen by the end).

One of the only things he had consistently growing up is soccer; there is a national association that would be able to meet in the state he lives in, and so he was able to attend games and important practices.

Because of this, he got really, really good. He plays as a Sweeper (defense #5) on his high school's team—go bears!—and quickly becomes a vital part of game play.

Over the course of the book, it goes over his healing cycle and the way he discovers more about himself. The shy-at-first heterosexual 'not allowed to think' foster boy turns into a sure of himself, healing and growing, raging gay man.

We actually see him have multiple boyfriends, learning what he likes and from who, over the course of the book before settling on his one and only, Jude.

Will: The Sin of Envy.

Onto his foster brother—

Clement "Clem" August Renshaw

He is a 6'1" blue eyed brunet who's curls are crazier than they are anything tame. One of the biggest things about him is that he talks very, very fast and doesn't care what people think of him. He will dress and look and say whatever he wants—it's up to others to interpret what kind of person he actually is.

He is just... happy most of the time.

Mentally, he tries his best to remain in a positive space and has a lot of good coping mechanisms in place, one of which is his ability to put on a mask and make others smile. He's gone through a lot of trauma in his life, and because of this, he thinks the best way to handle that is to simply smile.

He grew up with his mother and father, who was abusive, and one day is just got to much. His mother, Grace, divorced his father and took sole custody of him. Because of this, his father kidnapped Clement and went on the run with his for a week with his friend who was a very, very bad man.

After he was found and safe, he watched Grace fall in love with his soon to be second mother, Lyra Renshaw. Lyra adopted Clement at the ripe age of thirteen, and he and Grace changed their last name to match hers.

His role on the soccer team really isn't as big as an on-field player, but he does play quite an important role—keeping the team spirit up. He's the game announcer (similar to Lee Jordan from HP) and loves to crack a joke, even at the expense of his own team.

Over the course of the book, we see him be a big support for all of the cast as well as the comedic relief, but the more you see him, the more his past will come into play and you learn about the different ways that people learn to just be.

He has a very long standing crush on one of his (out of three) best friends, the one he's known since kindergarten vs. since he was 14, and we also see their relationship progress slowly, shyly, but with no less passion than he deserves.

Clem:

The sin of Lust.

Now for Clement's longest standing best friend (and love interest)—

Minerva "Minnie" "Mine" Elara Mackey—

They are a 5'9" hazel eyed black haired genderfluid—they/she—person who has more cocky grins than she does smirks. She is so damn certain that she looks good—that they can pull everything off (but most days you'll find her with a flannel wrapped around their waist and a tank top pulled up high).

She is absolutely cocky all of the time.

When it comes to her mental, they definitely have what many refer to as a 'god complex' and what she refers to as "Don't call me out on it, just appreciate that I'm awesome."

She grew up with her parents happily in love, when they were nine, her mother died and by the time she was eleven, her father (who is Black River's sheriff) was married again to her step mother, and they had a baby brother—named Elijah—on the way.

Because of this, they grew up under very strict guild-lines from her parents, particularly from her father. This made them very good at lying, at being confident in doing everything—bad things included. She's not afraid to sneak out.

They're confident and have good reflexed. She plays as the Goalie (defense #1) on the team, and is also referred to as 'Coach Mackey' from other players.

Through the course of the book, we see Minnie on a different level than they're originally introduced as, seeing her fears and the things that make them rage.

She, coincidentally, is also in love with Clem. Once their love is outed, however, they're a lot less shy about it.

Minnie:

The sin of Pride.

Now for Minerva's biggest rival (and best friend)—

Jupiter Donovan "Jude" Storme—

He is a 6'6", brown eyed blond whose nose wiggles adorably—he hates this but don't let his glare fool you, it is cute. While he's normally pretty put together, there are days he very clearly gives zero (0) fucks.

He is furious and fruity all of the time.

Mentally, he is one of those overprotective douchebags that think that nobody can lay a single finger on you except him, he's okay, as long as you're not bleeding or crying after, all is alright with the world. Word of the wise: he bites.

He grew up with very lousy, wealthy parents, ones that could care less about if he's happy, and more about if his tie is on straight. He truly is an perfectionist because of this.

One of the thing about Jude is that he's an artist. He is really good at painting (Clement has countless of his paintings in his room) and sketching in particular, but likes to fuck around with charcoal every now and again. He does it to relieve stress, and on off weeks, he's often seen with paint fingertip-to-elbow.

Jude is normally a very aggressive and forward person, this makes him the perfect Right Winger (offense #7) on the high school team—he's a very vital part of the team, scoring most of the goals that his twin sets up for him.

Over the course of the book, we get to know more about him. Jude is always overcompensating for something and acts rude, when internally he is loving and maybe not kind, but kinder.

He's gay and supportive and an older brother. He's the perfect person to go to when you need real, unfiltered advice. Or a hug. This makes him the perfect love interest for Will.

Jude:

The sin of Wrath.

Now for Jupiter's twin—

Demetrius Jordan Storme—

He is a 6'4", brown eyed boy who is normally seen with tired eyes and a hat over his blond hair. This has more to do with him wanting to be told apart from Jude than it is him thinking he looks good in them—but good luck getting him to tell you that.

He is just tired all of the time.

Moving onto mental, he has a mind raging with anxiety and fear and anger. He is rageful and passionate internally, but externally, it is hard to tell anything.

He grew up with very lousy, wealthy parents, ones that could care less about if he's happy, and more about if his tie is on straight. He tends to tune out his emotions because of this.

We talk a lot about 'aloof' and 'blunt' character that yell a lot but they're hot and mysterious as the ones who repress their emotions, but not a lot about the smiling, base-line characters who actually repress their emotions. He is the boy who you will tell everything to and trust, and find safety in his arms, and then after a few months of getting advice and hanging out with him, telling him your deepest secrets you realize you don't know anything about him.

Because of this, it is really, genuinely, surprising when people see how aggressive he is—even more aggressive than his own twin. During games he plays as a Left Winger (offense #11) and he will bust past the offensive line and take down any player he needs to, just to get the ball to Jude.

Throughout the book, we actually see him mad on multiple occasions and while Demi himself never explicitly opens up to Will, we do see him relax a bit. He is known for being a fuck-boy who doesn't really get an attachment to anyone, just a quiet side-kick who smiles and has anxiety.

Yet by the end of the book, he's fully integrated and introduced his girlfriend Nymphadora to the entire friend group, having Jude's support already.

Demi:

The sin of Gluttony.

Now, these are the main characters, all of them play a crucial role in this story, even if they would just seem like side characters at the start. I don't think this story would be progressing nearly as easily if a single one of their characters and what they bring to the table weren't here.

But of course, we're still missing the other two sins, aren't we?

Introducing, our side cast:

Lyra Renshaw, the sin of Sloth

She is Clement's mother and Will's foster mother, she is always able to give Will the advice that he needs, as well as watching out for him; taking care of him during and after panic attack, making sure he doesn't feel pushed or rushed or forced into making decisions, getting him a therapist, informing him about queer culture and how he can fit into it, educating him in general.

The reason that she represents Sloth is because while she is on top of everything for Clement and Will, everything in her own life is slow-coming, and she does everything in her power to make that Will's is properly fast-paced.

She doesn't let him second guess if he is safe, she makes him know it and act on anything she wants.

Doctor Rex, the sin of Greed

She allows Will to get to where he needs to be all on his own, just giving a push or asking the right question every now and again, allowing him to process and grieve. Yet she wants more info, more progress and asking that he gives more than he thinks he's capable because she knows he is capable of it.

And she helps Will transition his mindset into something more destructive, and learn about himself as well as finish grieving for who he could have been.

As his therapist, she plays a really crucial role to the book (and she has a lovely cat, Culpa—which literally means Guilt, in Latin—that also plays a part: overcoming his own inner guilt, clutching onto him at all times, Culpa rubbing against his leg when he's being particularly angsty. Yes I found a way to work a cute cat into plot. Bite me).

Our main side character,

Alexander Sirius Walker—Will's best friend

He is someone who, very slowly, pushes the plot along. He does not rush anything, he is slow with progress, slow to respond, and slow to show how he's helping. In reality, he's both forcing Will to do things the right way for himself and forcing Jude to overcome his overprotective rudeness over Will and actually admit I'm jealous.

He's a slow-paced plot device to push the two of them together, and give Will someone to come clean to about his trauma over the entire course of the book.

Every chapter title is framed like this:

EMOTION (sin)

Will really, really, really was starting to question if any of his friends are sane. He, on this particular day, doubted it.

The emotion will frame the state of mind that the main character, or whoever's POV the chapter is in—since there's mini-chapters in the breaks between the five different parts of the books, that are in Clem, Jude, Demi and Minnie's POV—

The reason the book is called 'To All the Sins You Couldn't Commit' is because we all have sins, we all have thoughts and desires we're scared to act on. This book takes the bad parts about humans, the ones that make us bite at our nails and have panic attacks and cry ugly with snot-filled tissues clenched in hand, and be toxic, and yell, and fight, and be angry and furious on our road to self discovery, it takes those bits and tells you it's okay to be human.

We are all human. We are all traumatized. We all bite at our nails from time to time.

Simply put, this story is a bout a group of teenagers learning how to heal from themselves and how to grow up while still reeling from childhoods they didn't get to have.

Read it.

#my writing #writers on tumblr #oc story #my books #wattpad #fiction #ocs #original character #coming of age book #romance #lgbt pride #lgbt books #lgbtq positivity #gay awakening #gay character #gay #bisexual #genderfluid #pansexual #rambling from above #to all the sins you couldn't commit #to all the sins #the seven deadly sins

[theepisceswriter]

AOT characters with a black S/O (Zeke, Jean, Connie, Eren, Reiner)

Synopsis: I think the title is pretty self explanatory 🙈

TW: none really besides mentions of food, African-American culture only for right now sorry my foreign babes 😕, not proofread

ZEKE

Someone throw this man a black girlfriend with a dark or regular academia aesthetic P L S because he would love you to the point where he’s obsessed and treat you so good.

Loves finding neutral shades of beige, white, or brown that compliment your skin color nicely while the two of you are out shopping. Will literally come running from across the other side of the store with a brown jacket in his hand like “Look babe, this would compliment the brown of your skin so nicely 🥺 we gotta get Instagram pictures of you in this.”

He also enjoys finding academia type hairstyles and trying to make them work with your natural hair or braids. At least once a week he sends you a hairstyle he found on Tumblr and helps you later that night to try and achieve a black version of it.

The two of you most definitely have viral pictures floating around on Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram.

He’s so soft and patient when it comes yo your hair because he has a beard, so he knows what it feels like having to keep up with something that requires a lot of work. He’ll often come into the bathroom to do his beard and offer you an extra pair of hands when it’s your wash day. His favorite part is to help you twist your hair because he likes seeing the finished product when you take them out.

He also uses your hair conditioners and oils in his beard because they make him smell otherworldly and he likes smelling like you. And yes, he has requested for you to braid his beard once but never again because you both thought he looked too weird like that.

Grisha is the awkward white dad who tries too hard to accept you and says stuff like “Hey, like the new hairdo 😃👍🏾.” Whenever you come around. Bless his poor heart, at least he’s trying and you know he means well.

JEAN

Worships you and the ground you walk on like 24/7. He’s so in love with you and makes sure to let you know that on the daily multiple times. And he’s such an amazing lover and avoids doing cringey shit like calling you chocolate or Nubian queen goddess.

Hangs with your uncles and all the other black men in your family because he thinks he’s cool like that, but they don’t mind at all cause they love him.

His mom is the sweetest mother in law ever. She gets along so well with all the women in your family and they’re always swapping recipes with one another. One day time you and Jean pulled up for Christmas and she had a dish filled with collard greens on the table and they were good too.

He has two chains around his neck dedicated to you: one is your name and the other one is the date you two became official. You also wear his name around your neck and you have a ring with his initials on it.

Getting jewelry is something the two of you do together very often. Matter of fact, swap meets are his favorite place to go to in general and his mind was blown when you first took him to one.

Asks you to put his hair in French braids at least once a month because the process is so therapeutic for him. He loves laying his head on his lap and watching as you make his braids so neat and cute. But be careful though because he does like to “Can you braid my hair? 🥺” his way into some coochie.

Don’t brother teaching him how to braid because even if he does get the hang of it after a couple of sessions with you he’ll always request that you do his hair.

You two have random rap battles with each other alllll the time. It’s pretty split between who wins, but often you’ll call him out for trying to use lyrics from other artists.

CONNIE

Did y’all know me and Connie are blood cousins? Both his momma and daddy black and his full name on his birth certificate is Cornelius Demetrius Jones Springer, so take that as you will…

BUT REALLY, Connie fits right in with you and your culture that it’s nearly identical to dating someone the same race as you.

He has a fitted cap with your name sowed into it on the side with a cute heart right by it. It’s his go to hat and he points is out to everyone who doesn’t know about it.

Has most definitely dragged you along with him to go take one of those 2000’s-esque photoshoots with the airbrushed backgrounds. He even made the two of you dress alike and color coordinate because he’s extra like that and the photos are hanging all over your guy’s house. He carries around a mini version of his favorite picture in his wallet at all times.

You better not ever come around this man with messed up edges, visibly old braids, a too visible lace, etc because he will get on you bad and crack jokes about it the whole day because he’s a menace to society like that. No one besides him is allowed to do it though or he’ll get mad at them.

Do not ask this man to help you take down your braids unless you’re cutting them first because he will cut them crazy as hell and might even accidentally cut some of your real hair off too. He’s a master at dipping braids though, it’s something he takes pride in.

EREN

Literally a POWER COUPLE !

Eren will never have you out here looking wrong. The part on your lace is a little off? He’s telling your hairdresser to fix it! Thinks the hair you got looks too synthetic and shiny? He’s dropping big bucks to make sure you have some silky soft hair extensions.

Made you do him some baby hairs one day when he was wearing his signature ponytail as a joke, but now you’re obligated to slick up his edges for him at least once a week. He even has a silk scarf that he uses to tie them down with at night.

Is a master at finding filters on Instagram and Snapchat that don’t make your skin look Orange or pale so the two of you can have the cutest Instagram pictures together.

Walks around the house 24/7 singing 2000’s R&B songs at the top of his lungs because he’s a menace to society like that.

Supports all your financial needs when it comes to hair clothing or anything in general really. Need a new lace front? He’s wiring $700 to your account. Want a Teflar bag? He’s getting you one in every color. Some new shoes came out and you think they’re cute? He’s getting them for you !

REINER

Your aunties would L O V E a hardworking and burly man like Reiner.

He’s get so spoiled by them all the time whenever he comes around. Sometimes they pay attention to him more than they do you and best believe they slide him all the extra plates and desserts at barbecues. I just know he smacks down on a plate of soul food in like 5 minutes.

Speaking of soul food, you really lit up something in his Caucasian taste buds when you gave him a plate of soul food for the first time because now he’s OBSESSED. Every night he’s begging you to cook for him or asking you for the recipe so he can make it himself. His favorites are macaroni and cheese, fried chicken, and yams ☺️

Will bust a move on the dance floor if your family pressures him to get on it at events. He did a two-step with your aunt once at somebody’s wedding and nobody in your family has shut up about it since because they were surprised at how good he can dance. You were equally as surprised as them.

The best person to ask to help you with your hair because he’s so patient and will make sure that your parts are straight and perfect or use his hands to slick your ponytails up to the gods. He’ll do it exactly how you want it to look too and he makes sure it’s to your standard by checking in with you every now and then.

Encourages you to buy clips or little jewels whenever you take him to the beauty supply with you because he thinks you look so adorable when you wear them in your hair.

#I feel TERRIBLE rn because I’m sick BUT #I had thoughts and I had to write them down it was mandatory #zeke jaeger headcanons #zeke jaeger x reader #Zeke Jaeger x black reader #jean kirstein x reader #jean kirstein headcanons #jean kirstein x black reader #attack on titan x black reader #attack on titan x reader #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #connie springer x black reader #connie springer x reader #connie springer headcanons #eren jaeger x reader #eren jaeger x black reader #eren jaeger headcanons #reiner braun headcanons #reiner braun x reader #reiner braun x black reader #anime x black reader

[dathen]

It feels a little weird to start off Ace Awareness Week in the most ace-positive fandom I’ve been in by addressing something negative, but I wanted to address some common mistakes that people--especially allo authors--can make when portraying ace characters, even when they don’t intend to be acephobic.  

Most of the discussion of whether allo people can write ace characters all comes down to the same debate over and over: are you allowed to write ace people having sex or not?  With responses ranging from “No, never!” to “Yes, always!” with rarely any nuance.  But the fact is that there are just as many ways to insensitively write an asexual character in the most G-rated fics, and I never see any discussion on that.  So I’m starting one myself!

(warning for mention of acephobia and negative stereotypes about asexuality)

“Prude” and “Puritanical” 

These are extremely, extremely loaded terms, especially when applied to an asexual person.  I feel like a lot of asexual people know this by default, but when allo writers delve in they don’t have the history of weathering all the discourse framing asexuality as an inherently sex-negative identity, and how hard we had to fight for people to realize that being disinterested in sexual things for ourselves doesn’t equal judging other peoples’ sex lives.  Those words also imply some level of “this is a bad thing about this person they need to grow out of,” which takes on very ugly corrective connotations when applied to ace people.

On that note, “fluster the uptight prude, it’s fun!” is a very popular trope that I’m seeing used against ace characters more and more.  And in so many of these cases, you just have a scene of flat-out sexual harassment.  Or a scene of someone pushing past their friend’s boundaries.  Or people forcing someone to be uncomfortable because of their sexuality.  I can’t say it’s objectively worse when done to an ace character than to an allo one, but I can promise you that I’ve dealt with these exact situations dozens of times IRL and it’s miserable and each time I find it in an untagged fic played as cute and fun and hilarious it makes me feel ill.  If you’re aiming to write a fun friendship scene, maybe reach for something other than “a group of friends sexually harass the ace character because they enjoy seeing them get uncomfortable.”  And if you want to include a scene like that for other reasons, add a warning tag!

Sex-Averse =/= Sex-Negative

It’s an age-old acephobic viewpoint to treat sex-disinterested aces as if our not wanting to have sex is automatically judgment on everyone who does.  Back in the pre-discourse days, there was an amazing article about the pressure a lot of ace people feel to push themselves past their comfort levels to play up their interest in sexual things or willingness to expose themselves to it: even something like feeling obligated to listen to a friend going into detail over a hookup, out of fear of being seen as prudish or judgmental.  But having boundaries for ourselves is not an attack on anyone else, and people who have sex can just as easily be sex-negative.

“Oh but this character is a prude/sex-negative, but they just happen to also be asexual”  Why?  Why???? 

“Virgin” as an insult

Avoid using “virgin” as an insult, or as a synonym with being immature, naive, undesirable, an “incel,” etc.  I really shouldn’t need to elaborate.  This is such an accepted meme-ish fandom thing that people don’t realize how much it reinforces the idea that if you’re desirable at all of course you’ve had sex, or that asexual people have to have sex at least once to prove they don’t like it.  “Virgin” is an outdated concept in the first place!  Get rid of it!!

Additionally, “they just need to get laid” takes on nightmarishly corrective tones when applied to asexual people and, yes, is something we have to deal with constantly IRL.  

Tagging acephobic content

If you’re having characters within a fic hold these attitudes or talk like this...tag it.  I think there’s value in fiction that addresses stigma that ace people face, and acknowledging that people do treat us like this.  But it’s not something we should have to stumble into unprepared, so please give us the tools we can use to protect ourselves.  

“Sexually repressed”

This is another loaded term when applied to ace people.   Again, if you haven’t struggled through years of self-doubt because everyone around you is telling you your disinterest in sex is just repression, you just need to force yourself past it, you may not realize how terrible it can be to see an ace person painted as just being sexually repressed.  To this day, I still see posts of “there’s no such thing as asexuality, it’s just sexual repression.:  (Emotional repression is a whole different thing, we can absolutely be emotionally repressed)

You’re not a bad person or an Enemy (tm) if you’ve fumbled one of these, it’s just so deeply ingrained into society that it takes a lot of effort and dedication to unlearn--and I hope that this helps to equip people to start that process!

#asexuality #ace awareness week #asexuality in fiction #acephobia #tma #the magnus archives #<--just adding these to put in the tag but I'm going to make a TMA-specific reblog! stay tuned! #wanted to keep this first one fandom-neutral as just a writing resource in general

[gralunaisland]

Given the backstories Mashima gave his characters, he could have done something great with their development, even with juvia who is plain toxic in canon. She was apparently rejected her whole life, why not show the effects it had on her without trying to paint it as comedy ? It's a real shame because most of the characters could have been developed so well but were sacrificed to become love interests or plot devices.

FT Characters (especially juvia) Reduced to Being Love Interests or Plot Devices

You make a fantastic point, Anon!! I agree wholeheartedly.

I’m pretty sure I mentioned something related to that in one of my posts before actually, buried underneath my babble somewhere.

Anyway, juvia would be so much better as a character and way more relatable if Mashima had built her around her hardships and had her character growth come from finally opening up to people and being accepted for who she was with her rain and whatever and them bettering her. she seriously would’ve been actually likable if she hadn’t flipped her crazy switch at the first act of kindness given to her and instead took a while coming out of her shell.

Way more people would’ve been able to relate to her, because I’m sure many of us, if not most, have felt lonely or overlooked or even shunned at times. she could’ve been the bullied outcast people got to sympathize with, and she could’ve gotten the redemption and the hard-earned happy ending lots of us desire for ourselves.

But nope, the juvia we get is the most un-relatable, off-putting, toxic thing ever, which drives people away from supporting her. (Except for her fans who overlook all her bad qualities in order to like her, I guess. At that point, though, honestly, without trying to be mean, Pros— do you even like her at that point? Aren’t you in love with your ‘delusion’ or fantasy of the character and not the character herself? We may never know.)

While lots of people do feel lonely, conversely, I bet most people don’t stalk and harass and have clinically insane delusions about their crush, and yet juvia, who does all this and more, is the one we’re somehow expected to root for.

I really can’t empathize with a crazy, r*pey chick, nor do I want to.

And you’re right that there were lots of other characters that were sacrificed in the name of pleasing the shipper fandom; Gajeel and Levy are most prevalent in my mind after gr///via (and the travesty that is the death of Gray's character in 100yq).

Levy wasn’t a super interesting character to begin with; she just had two guys who were the biggest fans of her for no apparent reason, which she didn’t care about, and she didn’t seem to care about them too much, ignoring them completely when they wanted to be her partner at Tenrou for the mysterious "misunderstood" dude. Overlooking that, she was pretty nice and smart, but that was it. She could’ve definitely gotten a part of an arc dedicated to her breaking past certain barriers and expectations of her petite, waif-ish, and unassuming self, but something that only remotely resembles that only came with her mashed forced pairing with the bad boy, Gajeel.

For Gajeel, I think his redemption was rushed way too fast, and his 180 didn’t make much sense to me, but instead of really exploring his struggle with overcoming his darker nature (I mean if you watch Phantom Lord, he was a real b*stard honestly, beating up helpless Lucy for fun until she was near dead), he just turns over a new leaf with no problem at all, and everyone forgives him despite him not really apologizing to most of them. And then he somehow fell for the uninteresting bookworm whom he’d beaten up and strung to a tree before… idk, Mashima relied too much on the good, book girl and bad boy cliche in hopes of creating a popular pair.

People should be more than merely a cliche or a plot device or romantic interest, because when your identity is solely rooted in loving another person, as I've said before, you cease to exist. You have no personality trait or motivator without your dependency on an outside factor, and that's undoubtedly unhealthy for all parties involved.

Anyway, thank you very much for your ask! Sorry it took a lil while to respond. I loved your observations and points!

#juvia could've been a good character really #she had all the makings of it #mashima just dropped the ball #more like hurled the ball into the sun but you catch my drift #askgraluna #ask #anti gruvia #anti juvia #anti juvia lockser #anti juvia loxar #fairy tail #anon #defend gray fullbuster #gray fullbuster #anti gajevy #anti mashima #anti gray x juvia #anti gray fullbuster x juvia lockser #fairytail #gralunaessay

[altruistic-meme]

AFTG fic recs

Hi all! I just wanted to share some of my all-time favorite fanfics for aftg, for no real reason other than I want more people to read them and send their love to the authors :) 

Under a readmore because it got. A little long. But please enjoy!

WIPs

Dangerous Habits by LovelyLittleGrim ( @lovelylittlegrim )

Andrew has run into problems while on undercover jobs before. None of those problems were anything like the troublesome runaway that is one Nathaniel Wesninski

Aka: the fic where Andrew is undercover as a hitman for hire and Neil is the guy who hires him. Things get complicated from there.

Undercover Andrew? BAMF Neil? Hitman AU?? Absolutely. I’m in love. The story is just *chef kisses*

Chapters: 8/9

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, past rape/non-con, Drake Spear (who is his own warning), Butcher Neil, 

--

Negotiations by elesary ( @elesary )

This is what Andrew Minyard knows: his brother is dead, killed by a petty Raven prince who has never learned to keep his hands off of Andrew's things. His brother's daughters are his responsibility, a job that is made infinitely harder when their shitty grandparents want custody. Nathaniel Wesninski is a liar, but he might be the only way to avenge Aaron and protect his nieces. All Andrew has to do is watch Nathaniels - Neil's- back as he carves out his own life and identity from everyone who thinks they own him.

Andrew has always been good at upholding his end of the bargain, has he finally found someone willing to uphold theirs?

This fic has got me fucked up, honestly. I’m emotional over it. It’s fantastic.

Chapters: 11/?

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, attempted sexual assault, Butcher Neil,

--

the upper hand by plantelty ( @plantelty  )

Shortly after losing his mother, Neil arrives in the small town of Palmetto, South Carolina, alone in the world and with an impossible plan to carry through.

At the age of eighteen, Andrew ends up helping a boy stage his own death.

-

Just two fucked up boys learning to trust each other during the course of a summer, but also: multiple references to songs, twinyard angst (Nicky tries his best), The Plotting of Neil Josten's Gruesome Demise, and shit hitting the fan in a variety of ugly ways!

The cliffhanger has got me on the edge of my seat, but it is 100% worth the read and the wait for the last chapter!! 

Chapters: 10/11

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Canon typical violence, 

--

The Butcher’s House by Fire_Bear ( @fire-bear )

Andrew thought something was odd with the house the Foxes had to move into after their Athletes' House had been burnt down. He just wasn't prepared for what was actually wrong with it.

For this was a house full of monsters.

Ghost story! Ghost story! Ghost story! I literally think about this fic every other day, it’s fantastic. 

Chapters: 6/?

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Warnings: character death (major or minor is unclear), injuries, 

--

Promise of an Unbroken Boy by elesary ( @elesary​ )

Neil is caught by the police with Mary's burning body and is sent to juvie in Oakland where he is assigned to share a cell with one Andrew Doe, who promises him Exy, if only Neil will tell him all of his secrets. With no access to tinted contacts and hair dye, he agrees, it's only a matter of time until he's killed after all. What does he have to lose?

But Andrew's found someone who knows what a promise means, and he'll be damned if he lets that go without a fight.

Ngl this is definitely in my very top favorites -- I LOVE the idea of Neil and Andrew meeting pre-series, and this fic just BLEW my expectations for that plotline out of the waters

Chapters: 14/?

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, Underage, attempted rape/non-con, canon-typical violence, 

~~~~~~~~~

Complete

The Nameless Monster by kanekicure ( @kanekicure )

Nathaniel Wesninski wants nothing more than to see his father dead and buried. But when his father promises him the title of The Butcher, Nathaniel quickly realizes that his destiny of following in his father's footsteps is closer than ever before.

So of course, when he gets forced to go undercover for the Baltimore police, he starts seeing what living could truly be.

-

Andrew Minyard is a newly recruited police officer for the worst precinct in Baltimore, who is dedicated on hunting down the notorious Butcher and his unnamed underling. But when Neil Josten is thrown into his midst as his civilian consultant; he starts to realize some things don't quite appear as they seem.

I love the story telling -- the secret identities, the plotting, everything.

Chapters: 14/14

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, Butcher Neil, implied/referenced rape/non-con, implied/referenced child abuse, implied/referenced slef-harm (I believe there is a scene that is somewhat detailed on this subject), some characters also get drugged at one point, 

-- 

that’s just something people say by nanatsuyu ( @theoctopusnods )

Neil makes the mistake of stealing the wrong car. Andrew makes the mistake of offering a ride to a liar. They both make the mistake of turning the whole affair into a road trip ‘home.’

Gonna be honest; the summary does not give a big idea as to what is in store and i am SO GLAD I gave this one a try so i’m telling you that you will be too

Chapters: 24/24

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse, panic attacks (somewhat grahic descriptions of)

--

The Story After You by kanekicure ( @kanekicure )

Andrew Minyard does not understand how Riko Moriyama landed Neil Wesninski.

How the snot-nosed, small dick, rich brat, second son of the Moriyama family who also just so happened to own the largest EXY gear and merchandiser company in the world “RAVEN” - had landed smart mouthed, quick witted, stupidly blue eyed Wesninski, was beyond him. Well, unless Wesninski was a gold digger, but Andrew doubted it.

-

Or; how Andrew Minyard says he doesn't get into messy situations, until he meets Neil and suddenly he is in the most messiest possible situation ever imagined in his life - oh and also, he might be becoming a homewrecker.

Ok I am behind bc I haven’t read the final chapter of this but!! I love the story, it’s very emotional and moving, and I love the characterization in it.

Chapters: 10/10

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Abusive Riko/Neil, abusive relationship, implied/referenced rape/non-con, implied/reference child abuse, implied/referenced self-harm, graphic depictions of violence, some descriptions of injuries/scarring, 

-- 

This Complicated Life by 5a5b5p5 ( @andrewsbutterflyknife )

“This is exactly why I don’t want you and Andrew to meet,” Aaron says grumpily. “You two would get along far too well.”

Neil grins. “I just like pissing you off,” he says, “It’s not my fault your brother does such a good job at it.”

—

Neil doesn’t expect much from his Sophomore year of college, but when he becomes a waiter at the Palmetto Bistro, his life gets a whole lot more interesting. As it turns out, maintaining friendships new and old as well as navigating an interesting relationship with the head chef of the restaurant—who just so happens to be his best friend’s twin brother—is a lot more complicated than he’d thought it would be.

A much more light-hearted fic than most of the others! Includes a secret relationship, and also chef Andrew >>

Chapters: 10/10

Rating: Mature

Warnings: 

--

When I Fade, Keep Me in Your Memory by demesh 

Neil Josten has a secret: he can flicker out of existence.

He can vanish with the turn of a thought; click his fingers, and suddenly he’s not there anymore. Invisible and untouchable, he becomes a living ghost.

Having promised his mother never to let his ability go, Neil teeters the line between faded and real, a person and an echo. He can’t risk getting hurt.

But then, one day, someone sees him when they shouldn’t be able to.

 A (flower-shop) AU about how a faded and lonely Neil finds it in him to become someone real.

Another fic that I need to catch up on ;; but anyway it’s amazing and I love Neil’s ability in it, it’s so well explained and well-written about

Chapters: 12/12

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Warnings: mentions of past abuse, panic attacks

--

12 Ways to Woo a Minyard by NikNak22 ( @knickknacksandallthat )

Neil is a math nerd who, by a stroke of dumb luck, falls into a group of friends that are the closest thing to family he’s ever had. So, when he tells them about his new mysterious crush, he shouldn’t be surprised how immediately they come up with a plan to help win them over. One they insist that if Neil follows it, he’ll have them falling for him in no time. But things don’t always go to plan – or do they?

Nicky wants to set him up with someone else. Matt and Jeremy are confused but supportive. Allison and Seth offer lewd suggestions, while Dan does her best to keep everyone in line. Jean and Renee know something, Aaron doesn’t really care, and Kevin just wants Neil to join the lacrosse team.

But one thing’s for certain – whether Neil’s successful or not, everyone’s got money riding on this.

The romance-trope-filled fanfic of my dreams. Sometimes you just need a fic of pure joy -- this is that fic. 

Chapters: 14/14

Rating: Mature

Warnings: 

--

finders keepers by moonix ( @annawrites ​ )

Andrew meets Nathaniel through a scavenger hunt app. As their team takes part in a hunt that sends each of them to creepy, abandoned places alone to solve clues and gain points, Andrew and Nathaniel begin a little treasure hunt of their own. The anonymity of getting to know each other in small increments, never meeting face-to-face, allows them a level of intimacy neither are used to. Meanwhile Renee’s friend Neil is acting weird whenever Andrew shows up…

This was one of the first fics I read for aftg!! And BOY what a great start!! All of the little pieces and parts that work together, and just the scavenger hunt itself is fantastic! (I also REALLY wanna know if there is an app like this out there because I would be down to do that)

Chapters: 8/8

Rating: Mature

Warnings: (these all come from the author:) “mentions of historical abuse in a mental asylum, mentions of suicide, mentions of murder and kidnapping, morbid facts, creepy abandoned places including a haunted house at a theme park with disturbing rooms, special appearance of a creepy clown doll, fatphobia and some introspection on body image/complicated relationship with food, mention of self harm scars”

-----

Scared to Live (But I’m Scared to Die) by Major_816 ( @major816 )

Neil Josten goes to the Nest for Andrew, but he stays for a lot more.

~

"I'm sorry Coach," he muttered.

"For what kid?" Wymack shifted. "You've got to give me something to work with here."

Wymack watched the thin traces of sorrow as paper exchanged hands and he was looking down at a contract with the Edgar Allan Raven's.

"I signed them Coach, I'm sorry."

~

The one where Neil doesn't come back from Winter Break.

It is VERY dark, and is one of very few fics that I have actually been almost unable to read one of the scenes, so DEFINITELY pay attention to the warnings -- both these, and the ones provided for each individual chapter. I did go through the fic to collect as many warnings as I could find in the chapter warnings, but be sure to take care of yourself.

Chapters: 36/36

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: rape/non-con elements, implied/referenced rape/non-con, discussions of rape/non-con, canon-typical violence, graphic descritions, physical abuse, panic attacks, descriptions of injuries (often graphic), psychological warfare, dissociating, psychological torture, physical torture, use of knives, alcoholism/alcohol abuse, pain-induced delirium, rape/non-con, emotional self-separation, suicidal ideation/thoughts of suicide, emotional distress (which sums up the whole fic and also me while reading it), handcuffs/chains used as restraints, referenced/implied abuse towards animals, vomitting, begging, excessive use of painkillers, drowning, waterboarding, physical restraint, mutilation of an animal, mild hallucinations, non-con drugging, sleep deprivation, starvation, humiliation, the Butcher, 

Also one of the first fics I read and 100% my absolute favorite fic!!! Which is adfjhsd a little worrying, considering, but it is what it is. Anyway. This fic absolutely wrecked me, and while it is technically complete, there is a sequel in the works! So! But I am so so excited for the sequel, and I am working on rereading this. It’s amazing. 1000/10.

#also!! btw i would love if anyone has more fic recs >> just an fyi >> #idk if demesh doesn't have a tumblr but i couldn't find one :( #also major816 for some reason i can never tag and idk why #aftg #all for the game #andreil #the foxhole court #tfc #andrew minyard #neil josten #fic rec #rec list

[mah-gah-lee]

What a weird family reunion Reggie x  Reader (xLuke)

gif originally posted by @jatpsource​

Word Count: 3515 words

 Summary: You’re Reggie’s little sister. You were 3 when he died. You’re now a ghost for a decade. One night, you recognize your brother and jumped into him to an unexpected family reunion. How is it going to happen? Will Reggie believe you? In a mysterious way, that’s Luke who help you to convinced Reggie.

 Warnings: cuss (language), mention of death, mention of divorce, mention of drugs

 A/N: This is my first fic about jatp characters. Hope you’ll enjoy! keep in mind that french is my first language, so i’m so sorry if there’s some mistakes in my fic

 disclaimer: It takes place during episodes 6 and 7. I do not take into account the possibility of a Juke. The chemistry while they sing is there but no romantic feelings.

 Tagged: @asdfghjkl-fanfics​ @standingtalllove​ 

 _______

Losing a child is the worst thing a parent could live, losing two is unimaginable. It’s seems being 17 years old was a new malediction in Peters family.

 You were 3 when your older brother, Reginald, died in a weird hot dog accident. At that point, your parents were literally a fight away from a divorce but never did it because of you. You were too young to be in a divided family, according to them. But Reggie's death separated them for good. Yet they really tried to support each other, to overcome that and give you all the attention you needed. But your mother overprotected you and made you live in the shadow of your late brother. Your dad couldn't stand it. And when they finally divorce, moving out from reggie’s childhood house, you went to live with your dad.

 Even though you were too young to form a strong bond with your brother, in a way you missed him. Your mother’s house was full of pictures of him, some of his clothes were still in a room, dedicated to him. When you visited your mother, you didn’t understand why you always found yourself in this room. You were drawn like a magnet to the comforting room. Reggie’s presence in this new house brought you such a sense of security that your mother had repeatedly found you asleep on a pile of your brother’s T-shirts.

 And then you died in 2009. Kanye West had interrupted Taylor Swift's speech at the VMAs, Miley Cyrus hadn't gone crazy yet and One Direction didn't exist yet. What an era! You didn't know why the great light didn't come looking for you but you were there, as a ghost in 2009. And the time has passed ... You've had your best concerts, the best parties. A forever teenager who couldn't eat, drink or sleep.

 And then 2020 came.

 …

 You were tired of always doing the same thing for over a decade, but you couldn't help but go to every open scene that came up in your beautiful city. It was as if an inexplicable force was pushing you to go there.

 This evening was no exception to the rule and you were in a very hip little bar in the city center. You wore one of those sleeveless, gray crop tops with high waisted pants, your leather jacket draped over your shoulders. Your eyes were directly drawn to a group of girls in colorful costumes. You couldn't help but roll your eyes. It's been 10 years since you died and it seemed to you that these girls looked like the same plagues that ruined the lives of so many teenagers in your time. You put on an expression of disgust when they all took the stage, but when the music started you couldn't help but admit it was pretty catchy. However, you didn't expect a ghost to appear in the middle of the stage, improvising a choreography. Was that part of the show?

 But looking at the audience's non-reaction, you knew it wasn't. The ghost disappeared for the first time, and your gaze sought directly the distinctive light source of another apparition in the room. Your gaze lingered on a small group of three boys - the blond boy included - and two girls. You have wrinkled your eyes to better distinguish the teenagers, and your face expressed confusion.

 “Reggie? “

 You wanted to go see him so badly. You were pretty sure it was your brother but it all came too fast. The moment you decided to walk towards them, the organizer announced a new band.

 “Okay, looks like we're close the night out with one more group…Julie and the fat ones.”

 What was that for a name? Your attention had been diverted and when you looked back at the group, the boys had disappeared as one of the young girls took the stage. Your heart was beating so fast. You couldn't go wrong; you had seen so many pictures at your mother's house that it was impossible that this boy was not your brother. But you missed your chance…

 Julie started to sing and your eyes were captivated, as much as your ears were. This kid was so talented! When she sang a rather high note, the tension in the room charged into electricity. The next second, the young singer was joined by the group of boys you had seen in her company. Appearing distinctly as the ghosts did. On drums there was the blond boy you had seen dancing a few moments earlier, on the electric guitar, a boy with tousled brown hair who seemed slightly familiar to you ... and on bass, with a flannel shirt, there was your brother ... Reggie was there, identical to the photos you had admired so much.

 The bar was on fire as Julie and The Phantoms performed. What a sick name for a group made up of two-thirds of ghosts! The song was so catchy that your heart beat to the sound of the music. But your eyes did not leave your brother, you were unable to move, frozen in place. What should you do ? Will you introduce yourself after the performance? And, what would you say? "Hey hi Reggie, I'm your sister, I died ten years ago and you twenty-five years ago. Unbelievable, right?! Nice to see you again" And once again, before you knew it, the song was over and the boys were gone again, leaving Julie alone on stage in the bewilderment of the many people in the facility.

 “for God's sake, where are they?”

 You didn't want to miss it anymore. Even though the whole situation was strange, you wanted to see your brother again.

 Your eyes flew over the room before seeing the scene play out before your eyes. Julie seemed petrified in front of a man. The boys watched in amazement and as Julie left with what appeared to be her father, you rushed over to the group of three musicians before they disappeared again.

 “omg please don't poof out again.” You said almost out of breath

 The boys looked at you like you were crazy before the guitarist jumped off the bar counter, bursting with energy.

 "Wait, you can see us?"

 “as much as when mister "all eyes on me" made his performance”, you were pointing your head at the blond boy.

 The group looked at each other in puzzlement and Reggie finally spoke, his blue eyes full of mischief.

 “So…hi there cutie, how can we help you?”

 Your face expressed disgust and you stuck your tongue out mimicking vomiting.

Luke gave Alex an amused smile, seeing Reggie flirting and your spontaneous reaction. The bassist couldn't help but charm the pretty ladies.

 “Wow Reggie, that's gross ... you're my brother.”

  Reggie burst out laughing at your response, not noticing that you called him by his first name when he hadn't even introduced himself to you yet.

 “Yeah right, for sure. You just could tell me you weren’t interested. But I’m charming...”

 It was the first time he had been given such an excuse but you looked so serious that he stopped dead in his tracks as Luke and Alex watched you. They always knew Reggie had a sister. But the scene unfolding before their eyes seemed impossible. (Y / N) was so young when they died and now must have been around 28, something like that. But the girl in front of them was a teenager, their age. How was this possible?

 You didn't want to drop the information like that. It was worse than anything you could have imagined. But it had escaped you. Now he didn't take you seriously. Your eyes were wet with tears. It was scary to find you in front of your brother for the first time as a ghost teenager. Luke looked panicked when he noticed your eyes, squeezing Reggie's shoulder as you seemed to beg.

 “Can I ... can I meet you in a quieter time please, Reginald?”

 Your brother's eyes widened as Luke's hug on his shoulder tightened a bit. The eagerness and desperation in your voice had made both boys react, Alex was just looking at all of you like all of this wasn't real. The use of Reggie's name made him tense, surprised. Few called him Reginald. In fact, only his family, and the boys when they wanted to annoy him, called him that way. And although his nickname is obvious enough to deduce his

full first name, he deeply felt that you weren't just anyone.

  He seemed a little panicked and looked around for his friends to support him. As if the solution would fall by itself just by the presence of Luke and Alex.

 “Okay, but I want Luke and Alex’s there! What about tomorrow? I’ll give you the address!”

 Wow, that was quick.

 “hm, yeah, yeah sure, as you want”

 You nodded and Reggie silently slipped a note to the drummer. Alex took a pen, write something on a paper towel and gave it to you. You weren’t surprise, you also can make some tricks. And you just had the time to thanks them before they poofted again.

 …

 The next day, you landed in front of Julie's garage. Lucky she's at school because you shouldn't be explaining your presence, so she managed to see you the way she saw boys.

 Before entering, you peeked out the window and frowned. There seemed to be only Luke so far. He was leaning over the piano, his head in a notebook. Your body went through part of the garage door and you cleared your throat.

 “hmm, hi ... i came to see Reggie ..”

 Luke instantly raised his head and you caught his attention.

 “oh uh, hi! He should be here soon, come in.….”

 Silence felt as Luke motioned for you to sit on the couch. It was a rather pleasant studio; the plants gave a warm atmosphere to the room and the music set sent you good vibes.

 "Does your girlfriend mind that I'm here? I mean, that seems to be your HQ"

 "girlfriend?"

 "The girl you sing with" I simply said.

 "Julie? Um, yeah, she's not my girlfriend. She-sh-she’s great and we have this powerful connection but…not, not in a romantic way. Music tied us. Music and friendship "

 Luke chuckled lightly as he scratched his head. You were surprised they weren't dating. Yesterday the tension was intense. He seemed authentic when he had continued his momentum. You let out a smile amused by so much overflow.

 “It's okay, I don't need to know your full relationship statute or your social security number.”

 The guitarist gave you a frank smile, his eyes twinkling with amusement. For a ghost, his gaze was really alive.

 “ I’m Luke, by the way”

 "Y / N… Re .."

 "Reggie's little sister… I-I remember you a little."

 "You look familiar to me. Maybe I saw you in a few pictures with Reggie."

 Silence fell and you started to feel anxious. Maybe it was a bad idea? You had grown up since Reggie died ... were you still his little sister after all? Luke seemed to notice your dismay and put a comforting hand on your knee.

 “hey, is something bothering you?”

 “What if he doesn't believe me ... if he definitely thinks I'm not his sister.”

 “Let's be honest, it's a little hard to believe. The last time I saw you, you were three years old.”

 It was as if the memories flooded into your mind and let you carried away in your words.

 “Yeah, you gave me this teddy bear with a guitar and told Reggie you wanted to be my favorite.”

 Luke chuckled slightly before staring at you, speechless. He seemed dazed. This anecdote dates back to twenty-five years anyway. He himself had a hard time remembering it until you said it a few seconds earlier.

 “what was the smell of the stuffed animal?” he asked, confused about that funny fact

 “sorry, what?”

 “the plush, what did it smell like?”

 “hot waffle, why?”

 “okay ... maybe you are his sister ... tell me more about what you remember”

 You looked at him with a puzzled expression. Everything had been so natural before he stopped in all the movements. And now, it was hard to think about for the memories you had of Reggie on demand. The teddy bear given by Luke story had slipped out of your mind without you realizing it. As your brain seemed to boil, the fog of your thoughts cleared.

 “can I use your guitar?”

 “hell no ... why?” Luke exclaimed with far too much anticipation

 “I have this lullaby stuck inside of my head ... I think Reggie sang it to me when I was a child”

 Your pleading and desperate gaze fell on Luke who categorically refused to let you take his guitar. He ends up grabbing his six acoustic strings, terminated. There was something about you that made him weak.

 “Maybe you can teach me but ... my guitar is my guitar, nobody touches it.”

 You nodded and the lead singer moved closer to you. You were stunned by its smell, like a distant memory. Luke had definitely been a part of your life before he died, you were sure of that. You leaned over her shoulder, humming the lullaby that was left in your head. It didn't take long for him to find the right chords. Luke continued several times before you stopped singing, looking at him intently.

 “that's exactly it ... this lullaby”

 You both looked at each other, an indecipherable expression in your eyes. You both jumped at the sound of the garage door. Reggie appeared with Alex.

 "Ready to compose hellish songs! oh did I interrupt something?”

 "No, no I was there to see you. I guess you have a lot of questions."

 "hell yeah, can we start from the beginning?"

  You smiled to approve his request. The boys settled down on the sofa, while you sat down on one of the single armchairs. And the flow of questions began

  “When are you born?”

 “(your birthday date) 1992” you simply answered.

 “What’s your name?”

 (y/n) (y/m/n) Peters

 It’s seemed to convinced a little Reggie but doubt was all over his face.  It was information you could easily get on the internet nowadays.

 “What’s my favorite food?”

 “Pizza, mom said your favorite was the extra cheese with pepperoni”

 “And what was my favorite toy?”

 “I freaking don’t know, how can I suppose to known that?”

 “ah ah!” he pointed the finger at you, as if that answer was proof that you were lying. It broke your heart but you didn't show it.

Instead, you rolled your eyes and Reggie kept going to ask you some question. Of course, you would have liked to have answered his questions correctly. Your mother told you some anecdotes about him but not to the point of knowing all the details.

 “What’s the most terrible thing I said to my mom?”

 “Omg I don’t fucking know! I was 3 when you’re died, asshole!”

 Luke smiled when you exploded. Reggie was Reggie, as weird as possible. Now you were angry and desperate. Your brother didn’t believe you and he kept dragging you into this miserable feeling that you were never going to get your brother back. You had spent your short life living with a faint memory of him. Your blankie was one of his t-shirts, his voice reasoned in your head when you couldn’t sleep.

But then, in front of him, you were a stranger to him. Your heart was bruised from not being able to hug him and to finally meet this brother who had left far too soon.

 “Okay, okay… So, how can you proof me you’re really my sister?! “

 In the room’s corner, Luke looked at you, you looked desperate, about to cry again. He grabbed his guitar and cleared his throat. Reggie turned to him as the guitarist still had his eyes on you, a heartwarming smile hanging across his face. You had managed to convince him in a few minutes. He felt connected to you and the things you told him were disturbing. You could only be Reggie's sister; it was impossible otherwise.

 "Hey…What about the song you told me earlier." he said with a soft and comfort voice

 Your eyes caught his gaze, grateful for the initiative. You nodded and Luke started playing the few notes you had taught him a few minutes earlier. It was so different from all the songs the brunette could play before. It was a lullaby, such easy children's music with just a few notes.   Of course, the band wasn’t supposed to play when Julie wasn’t in the room but, Luke had thought it was the best thing to do to encourage you to keep going. He didn’t know why, but he wanted Reggie to believe you. Luke believed you, hard as nails. There only had to look at your eyes to understand this reality, and Luke had noticed that. You had the same blue eyes as your brother. How could Reggie still doubt that? You started to sing

 You're so sleepy

Very much sleepy

You want to go to the fairyland

You close your eyes

And jump into your dream.

When you'll wake up

I’ll still be on your team.

 The instant Reggie heard the first notes, he knew. But hearing you sing the lullaby he had invented for you when you didn't want to sleep as a child, was a magical moment. You were his baby sister. He gave you that sad little puppy face, so overwhelmed. Reggie opened his arms and you jumped into a hug, so glad he finally accepted the fact that you were his sister.

You felt oddly safe again, like taking a nap in Reggie's pile of old t-shirts. You were so happy to find your brother and to be able to live your non-life by his side. Nothing would be as boring as it used to be. Reggie pushed you away with a concerned look

 "but wait ... how did you die?"

 "Yeah ... I don't really know ... I was at a really, really good rock concert and I bought this drink ... and I think I got drugged up there and ... I guess I'm dead? tadaa " you tried to tell him in a light tone.

He had just learned that he had a little sister. He didn't have to know that she was sneaking out at rock concerts and drinking alcohol before she was old enough. Right? Alex looked at Luke and Reggie with his half amused half confused smile. As for Luke, he fidgeted from foot to foot at the discovery. Y / N was as much rock and roll as they all were. Rebellion had to be his middle name

You loosened Reggie's embrace and lowered your head, pursing your lips so as not to show your embarrassment. He asked if you wanted snacks and you nodded. There was a slight silence. You didn't notice the urgent look Luke gave Alex but the next moment the blond jumped up to accompany the bassist, leaving you alone in the garage with the lead singer.

 The silences were a little longer until Luke cautiously approached you. You could feel the awkwardness from miles away.

 “ Sooo, you made this.”

 “ yeah ...” you answered in a shy voice

 It was the moment you had to thank him but your words seemed frozen. You mustered all the courage to plant your gaze in Luke's eyes.

 “Thank you ... for helping me earlier.”

 “oh it was nothing”.

 “I ... yes, yes it was. You can't imagine how important seeing Reggie again is to me. Thanks for ... for helping me open his eyes.”

 A slight smile caught his lips and he reached for your cheek before stopping his gesture. Instead of stroking your skin, he simply put a section of your hair back behind your ear.

 “I would do anything for my best friends.”

 And Reggie was definitely one of Luke’s best friend. You hardly swallowed, your stomach contorting under the effect that the guitarist made you. Time had seemed to fly at an incredible speed as the moment was interrupted by Reggie and Alex coming back to you.

 “OMG LUKE DON’T FLIRT WITH MY SISTER, SHE’S 3!”

 You cleared your throat and stepped aside to pull yourself away from Luke as far as possible. Your gaze fell on your brother and you raised an eyebrow at the last remark. 3 years old, really? You were 3 years old twenty-five years ago ... now you were eternally a teenager

 “I’m seventeen.”

 “Listen, i'm your big brother, you’re three, end of discussion.”

 Your face wanted to laugh and you pursed your lips to keep from succumbing. But your eyes… Your eyes met Luke's in a complicity that slowly settled. Could you fall in love with your big brother's best friend? Definitely yes...

#jatp #jatp cast #jatp cast x reader #jatp imagines #jatp fic #julie molina #luke patterson #alex mercer #reggie peters #reggie x reader #reggie peters x reader #luke patterson x reader #charlie gillespie #jeremy shada #writing #owen patrick joyner #madison reyes