sally: i left instructions for everyone while i'm gone
percy: mine just says "percy no"
annabeth: you should apply that to every possible situation
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Percy: *out of breathe* omg hAZEL-
Hazel: ...yeah?
Percy: you have the EXACT SAME name as the girl in fault in our stars.
Frank: uh, Percy?
Percy: yes Frank it's the SAME. Hazel Grace! Oh gods how did I not REALISE it before?!
Hazel: ...um, Percy... I'm not Hazel Grace...
Percy: *confused* huh? What? No, of course you are. You're Hazel Gr- *saltwater.exe started working* oh. Oh. You're Levesque.
Hazel and Frank: ...
Percy: wait wHO IS GRACE THEN?!
Annabeth: THALIA!
Piper: JASON!
Leo: NICO!
Annabeth: Nico is GRACE since WHEN?!
Will: excuse you. Nico is the mortal embodiment of grace I mean have you SEEN him?!
Nico: *falls face first on cue launching a happy meal in the air*
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Luke: You can't force the gods to do anything
Percy "pay your freaking child support" Jackson: Bet
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Annabeth Chase: I dare you-
Sally Jackson: Percy is not allowed to accept dares anymore.
Annabeth Chase: Why not?
Percy Jackson: "I have no regard for my own or others personal safety", as some would say.
Grover Underwood: (vivid Yancy flashbacks) Fair enough.
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Percy: I’ve picked out a very special song for our date tonight!
Percy: *starts playing ‘What is Love’*
Annabeth: What’s so special about this song?
Percy: One might say we heard it on our very first date.
Annabeth: First date? What date are you thinkin—OH MY FUCKING GODS PERSEUS JACKSON TELL ME YOU ARE NOT CONSIDERING THE TUNNEL OF LOVE TO BE OUR FIRST DATE
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Monster: Identify yourself!
Percy, panicked: Percy Jackson, Greek, 16, leo sun and bisexual sir!
Monster: You're bi? That's so valid.
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annabeth in 1st grade: look under there
some kid: under where
annabeth: you fool. you absolute moron. you are such a monumental idiot that you don't even realize what you just said. i am a verbal magician-
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i love the percy jackson show with my entire heart and soul
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Y/N: It’s so frustrating
Luke: What is ??
Y/N: Watching Annabeth openly flirt with Percy for weeks and Percy is still not realising it
Luke, wearing a ‘date me Y/N’ shirt: Haha, yeah-
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Percy: Crushes are the worst whenever I’m near mine I start acting stupid
Annabeth: You always act stupid, Percy
Annabeth: …
Percy: Don’t think about it too hard
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chiron: i hope you all make it to adulthood!
percy: that’s a great prayer
annabeth: a needed one
grover: a needed one indeed
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Annabeth: What happened to your face?
Percy: Fencing injury.
Annabeth: We don’t do fencing at ca-
Percy: I was jumping a fence.
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Nico, over Iris message: So how is school? Do you hate it yet? Are you coming back soon?
Jason, laughing: I actually really like it, it’s so different from New Rome and Camp Half-Blood.
Nico, vaguely disappointed: That’s good.
Jason: More importantly, how’re you? What have you been up to lately?
Nico, shrugging: Will showed me how to do more things on the computer in the big house.
Jason, encouragingly: That sounds fun.
Nico: I visited you on Google Maps.
Jason, fighting his smile: That’s actually very sweet. Thank you.
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Luke: *gets revealed as the lightning thief*
Percy: Pookie, this isn't you!
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Percy, over iris message: I’m injured. I may be dying. This is the end for me.
Leo: Where are you??
Piper: Are you okay? Do you need backup?
Nico: Dammit Percy answer us!
Annabeth, joining Percy’s iris message: He’s fine. He just stepped on a lego.
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