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its-avalon-08 · 3 days

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hearts intertwined (hamilton x sister! driver!rosberg) p14

chapter 14: double agent

series masterlist

avaspeaks - im so so so so so sorry i havent updated this series in so long. requests are taking up so much time! here you go anyway, pt14!

Y/N and Nico sat in the quiet comfort of her Miami apartment, the city lights twinkling outside the window. The post-race buzz had faded, leaving a comfortable silence in its wake. They'd been reminiscing about their childhood, sharing stories of pranks pulled on unsuspecting neighbors and the countless races they'd staged down their suburban street.

Nico had a smile on his face, a shadow flickering across his features. They sat in comfortable silence for a while, the sound of the gentle waves lapping against the shore providing a soothing backdrop.

Finally, Y/N broke the silence. "Nico," she began, her voice hesitant, "there's something I need to ask."

Nico met her gaze, a flicker of apprehension crossing his features. "What is it, Y/N?"

"Lewis," she started, then took a deep breath. "Do you… do you ever think about fixing things with him?"

Nico's smile vanished. The question hung heavy in the air, a silent echo of years of unspoken tension. A muscle twitched in his jaw, and Y/N sensed the turmoil simmering beneath his calm exterior.

"Lewis," he finally choked out, his voice thick with emotion. "Every time I see him, Y/N… every time I hear his name, it's like a punch to the gut. We were… we were more than teammates. We were friends. Brothers, almost."

He paused, his gaze averted, lost in the memories that flooded back. "The rivalry… it consumed us, Y/N. It poisoned everything. We pushed each other to our limits, yes, but at what cost? We lost each other in the process."

Tears welled up in his eyes, his voice cracking with raw emotion. Y/N's heart ached for him. The rivalry everyone else saw as thrilling competition, she witnessed firsthand as a slow, agonizing erosion of a once strong bond.

Without a word, she reached out and squeezed his hand, her touch a silent display of understanding and support. "I know, Nico. I know."

He leaned into her touch, his voice a mere whisper. "We were so focused on winning, on proving ourselves, that we forgot what truly mattered. The joy of racing, the camaraderie… and most importantly, our friendship."

Y/N listened patiently, her presence a balm to his emotional wounds. As Nico spoke, the pain of the past seemed to seep out of him, a heavy weight finally lifted.

"Maybe… maybe one day," Nico said, wiping away a stray tear, "we can try to rebuild what was lost. But for now… for now, it still hurts too much."

Y/N offered him a comforting smile. "I understand, Nico. But at least now you've spoken it out loud. That's the first step, right?"

Nico nodded, a flicker of hope returning to his eyes. He squeezed her hand, a silent thank you for her unwavering support.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting long shadows across the beach, a newfound understanding bloomed between them. The path to reconciliation might be long and arduous, but the first seed had been sown. Perhaps, one day, the bitter rivalry that had driven a wedge between Lewis and Nico could be replaced by something stronger, something akin to the friendship they once shared.

switching sides (y/n is such a menace)

Stepping out of her room for a breath of fresh air, Y/N's eyes landed on a solitary figure silhouetted against the moonlit Miami skyline. It was Lewis, perched on the hotel balcony, a bottle of beer dangling precariously in his hand.

Curiosity piqued, Y/N walked over, the oversized Red Bull racing shirt hanging loosely on her frame, barely concealing the shorts underneath.

"Lewis?" she called out softly.

He looked up, startled, then a flicker of a smile crossed his face. "Y/N. Shouldn't you be getting some rest?"

"I could say the same to you," she countered, leaning against the railing. "Care if I join you?"

Lewis gestured to the empty space beside him. "Of course. Want a beer?"

Y/N shook her head. "Not tonight. Just wanted some company."

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, the rhythmic hum of the city below providing a backdrop for their unspoken thoughts.

Finally, Lewis spoke, his voice tinged with a hint of melancholy. "The race was… intense."

Y/N chuckled. "Understatement of the century, wouldn't you say?"

A smile played on his lips. "You pushed me hard, Y/N. More than anyone else on the grid."

Her cheeks flushed. "Just doing my job," she said, though a playful glint danced in her eyes.

The air crackled with a sudden awareness. Gone was the tension from earlier; in its place, a comfortable familiarity bloomed between them.

They reminisced about past races, shared stories, and laughed at each other's jokes. As the conversation flowed, a new vulnerability seemed to emerge in Lewis's voice.

Lewis smiled, but a shadow lingered in his eyes. "Speaking of friendships," Y/N continued, her voice dropping to a quieter tone, "do you… do you ever think about fixing things with Nico?"

The question hung heavy in the air, the weight of years of rivalry pressing down on them. Lewis's posture stiffened, his jaw clenching tight.

"Nico," he finally said, his voice raspy. "It's… complicated. The competition, the pressure… it drove a wedge between us. I don't even know where to begin."

Y/N listened intently as Lewis stared out at the moonlit cityscape, his voice low and strained. "It started subtly, Y/N. Back in the early days, when we were both hungry rookies, pushing each other made us better. We thrived on the competition."

He took a swig from his beer, the clink echoing in the quiet night. "But as the wins started piling up, the rivalry became… obsessive. Every race was a battle, not just between us and the other drivers, but between us two. We'd analyze each other's moves, scrutinize each other's tactics, it was relentless."

A bitter smile played on his lips. "We both started questioning every interaction, wondering if it was genuine or just another mind game. The trust, the camaraderie, it slowly eroded, replaced by suspicion and a constant need to prove ourselves as the better driver."

Y/N's heart ached for them. "Did you ever try… talking about it?"

Lewis shook his head, his gaze filled with regret. "Ego got in the way. We were both so focused on winning, so determined to dominate the sport, that admitting our insecurities felt… like a weakness."

He let out a humorless chuckle. "The irony, of course, is that the intense rivalry ended up weakening us both. We lost sight of the joy of racing, the thrill of the competition. All that remained was a bitter animosity."

Y/N leaned against the railing, her voice a soft murmur. "It sounds like you both let the competition consume you. Forgot what truly mattered."

Lewis nodded, a heavy sigh escaping his lips. "We did. And the worst part? The media loved it. They fueled the fire, turning our rivalry into a spectacle for the fans. It was a constant reminder of the friendship we were destroying, brick by agonizing brick."

He turned to Y/N, a flicker of vulnerability in his eyes. "Maybe… maybe if we had just stopped, talked about what was happening… things could have been different. We might have saved our friendship."

Y/N saw the pain flicker across his face, a flicker she recognized all too well from her own conversations with Nico.

"Maybe," she said, stepping closer to him, "maybe just a conversation. A chance to acknowledge what went wrong. It won't erase the past, but it could be a start."

Before Lewis could respond, Y/N surprised him by engulfing him in a tight hug. The unexpected gesture took his breath away, but then he wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her hair.

A single tear escaped his eye, tracing a warm path down her cheek. In that moment, a million unspoken words hung between them - apologies, regrets, and a yearning for something that had been lost.

Y/N held him closer, her heart aching for the pain that had fractured their bond. "It's okay, Lewis," she whispered. "It's never too late to try."

They stood there for a long time, two souls seeking solace in the quiet embrace of the night. The moon cast a soft glow on them, a silent witness to the tentative steps towards a reconciliation that stretched far beyond the confines of a racetrack rivalry.

The future remained uncertain, but for the first time, a flicker of hope had ignited, a spark of redemption for the fractured relationships that had haunted them for far too long.

exclusive feature! here's a talk with y/n---

author - y/n why are you meddling with brocedes?

y/n - cause it gives you a banger chapter 15

author - fair enough, continue <3

y/n - you have no idea what is about to hit you! ly

credits for gif - @lewishamiltongifs

taglist: @laura-naruto-fan1998 , @xoscar03 , @torossosebs , @jajouska , @lindsayjoy444 , @barcelonaloverf1life , @charli123456789, @heyheyheyggg

🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️

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the-alarm-system · 2 days

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Anti Endos and Projection of Decisions and Hurt

I'd like to start this off with my story and how it relates to the experiences of many hurt anti-endos.

I don't remember a big chunk of my original trauma, most of it feels like a dream that has chunks guarded by Red our protector. I do have bits and pieces, and I know for a fact that I went through RAMCOA.

Growing up I got hurt by a lot of women, and one of those woman's personas got introjected into my system and would retraumatize me consistently for a few years. This was before I realized I was plural.

What Im trying to say is I have survived a lot of horrible shit, and I know it's why I'm plural, and I have had horribly abusive headmates before.

Anti Endos bring these forms of exo and internal abuse up whenever attacking the slogan "The future is plural". I saw an anti endo say

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And I got angry enough to make this. Maybe it was rage bait, but I'm convinced most of them genuinely believe this.

Using your own trauma and hurt to invalidate the existence of others is one of the most vile horrible things you can do. Not every traumagenic system is formed from programming, not every system existing is formed from programming. Trust me I know the pain of being hurt that way, but are you serious? Don't use your trauma to hurt others. No endo wants to fucking program a child and abuse them, this is just a false analogy used to bring fear to others and towards the movement. We are not the enemy.

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I have experienced strong negatives, I've felt strong dissociation, memory loss, and Scald has gotten lost before and we do struggle a lot in disordered experiences. But this is expecting that every system puts the negatives above the positives. This is expecting that your experience and perspective of your own system lines up with everyone elses. I don't care that I have so much to deal with, being a system makes me extremely happy and I would love to share that with others. Obvious negatives? Yes, but "few" positives? In my experience with DID, psychosis, and even BPD I do my best to see the lighter side of them because I wouldn't be me without them. I have so many more pros than cons that comes with being a system because I actively changed my perspective in order to accept ourselves. I had to see the joy of it because I was abusing Scald by not accepting him and giving him individuality. I understand a system seeing their DID as more negative than positive, but this is projection to others which is simply narrow minded.

Before going deeper, I want to affirm that I have no hatred towards those who go towards final fusion or uses parts language. This is an argument about those who project their end goals and hurt and suffering onto other systems in order to invalidate them.

While I may not experience this towards my own system, I can understand why others may despise being many and/or desire to end as a singlet. However in the argument against endos; being broken, wanting fusion, using parts language, and hating yourself as a system is bought up multiple times. Here are some examples:

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Their views on their systemhood, while valid, is narrowed to the expectation that every other system should see it that way and if they don't they are put into the pile of fakes and subject to harassment. Anti endos have called me disgusting simply for expressing how happy being a system makes me. It reminds me of when I was a transmedicalist(essay for later) to be honest.

If you don't want to fuse, if you don't see your systems existence as an abomination, and you desire better acceptance from the world

You are a fucked up groomer who is anti recovery, never wants to heal, and wants to abuse children.

I'm sorry I love my system

I'm sorry I found so much joy in my system that I would love for there to be more of us and better acceptance of us

I'm sorry that I'm not all pessimistic on my system

To be honest, I can't change the past I went through, I can't delete my system,

But maybe to me it's ok to see the good that came out of it even if its hard then and hard now

Projecting your perspective of your systemhood onto others though, projecting false analogies based on your own trauma, and expecting every experience to be the same as yours is vile and just self victimizing in order to hurt vulnerable systems looking for community.

Giving your sob story, ranting about how you hate your pieces/headmates, and then tying it up with "and thats why endos want to hurt children" is a different level of fucked up

small personal note: if I had to endure everything again just to be with Scald, I would Over and over and over Piss yourself mad about it antis, I love my system and we aren't faking because of it

#actually plural #plural community #plural system #plurality #traumagenic system #pluralgang #system things #did osdd #osdd system #pro endo #syscourse #syscource #tw syscourse

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bakedbananners · 2 years

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crazy how you have to constantly explain to people that you should Click the Share Button on the Share Images and Text Website

#reblog things For The Love Of God #do you know how annoying it is to get hundreds of likes with maybe ten reblogs #on art that I work very hard on and want to share with people #IM TRYING TO SHARE IT. SHARE IT. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?#LIKING DOES NOT DO ANYTHING FOR ME #I. APPRECIATE IT. BUT THATS NOT THE POINT.#trying to not be a bitch about this but I Will be a bitch about this bc I keep having to deal with it #whatever I’m allowed to be irritated about this #ok gonna go chew on gravel and glass and drywall now #me talking

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thelilylav · 2 months

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We only see each other at funerals

(On Jason, Thalia, Nico, Bianca, and their parallels/connections)

The Titan's Curse (Rick Riordan), @/anxiousmaya_, Right Now (Gracie Abrams), The Battle of the Labyrinth (Rick Riordan), Joan of Arc (Mary Gordon), The Lost Hero (Rick Riordan), Episodes Toward and Elegy for Halley's Comet (Lindsey Drager), Jason Grace (Riordan Wiki), The Gods Show Up (Michael Kinnucan), The House of Hades (Rick Riordan), What the Living Do (Marie Howe), The House of Hades (Rick Riordan), Planet of Love (Richard Siken), The Blood of Olympus (Rick Riordan), Tangerine (Nolune), The Blood of Olympus (Rick Riordan), The Blood of Olympus (Rick Riordan), I Bet On Losing Dogs (Mitski), The Burning Maze (Rick Riordan), @/abhorarchive (Twitter), The Burning Maze (Rick Riordan), Seventeen (MARINA), The Burning Maze (Rick Riordan), @/rollercoasterwords, The Tyrant's Tomb (Rick Riordan), @/the-overanalyst, Where Things Come Back (John Corey Whaley), Grit (Silas Denver Martin), Softcore (The Neighbourhood), The Tower of Nero (Rick Riordan), Frost (Mitski), @/moonbends, I'm Your Man (Mitski), Sun Bleached Flies (Ethel Cain), The Tower of Nero (Rick Riordan), Three (Sleeping At Last), My Art

#nono you don't understand it's about the siblings #it's about how thalia lost jason once only to get him back and lose him again #it's how jason and bianca both walked into their deaths with their eyes wide open #it's about zeus trying to kill nico and bianca and him doing nothing to stop jason from dying #it's about thalia being in the hunters and nico hating her but he knows how to grieve with that kind of loss #so he'll help her. for jason. for bianca. because no one deserves to mourn a sibling alone #like these four barely interact but they're soooo connected i could go on forever #i'm so sad thalia and nico never actually got a scene together after the burning maze #and ALSO #it's about the fact that reyna is one of the most (if not the most) important people left in their lives #LIKE #do you think thalia found out how close nico and reyna were and started watching her more closely #because every person the two of them have shared has ended up six feet under #so reyna gets annoyed with how protective thalia is but she doesn't stop her bc part of her can tell thalia needs it #and nico constantly checks to make sure reyna's life force is still strong #bc he never wants to be caught off guard by a death again #ok im done now i promise #the trials of apollo #trials of apollo #nico di angelo #reyna ramirez arellano #reyna avila ramirez arellano #web weaving #fanart #my art tag #thalia grace #jason grace #percy jackson #percy jackson fanart #bianca di angelo

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soullessjack · 9 days

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throwing out just One more hot dean and jack take while it’s on my brain but I honestly think dean gives jack a little more autonomy than sam and cas do . Maybe.

#heavy on cas bc I feel he’s a bit more … coddling? ? than Sam is ?#sam just kind of leaves jack to himself and vaguely offers support or advice #but Dean is the only one we’ve seen on screen that has a MUTUAL connection w jack #like their entire start and end conversations in Optimism abt needing to stay busy & blaming themselves #they GET each other #cas is just. idk #the argument he had with jack in 14x0…2 I believe ..#like jack is just CONSTANTLY trying to get ppl to understand that he makes his own choices and can handle himself #I cannot stress enough that he hates being treated like a helpless child.#there’s so much situational irony with that lmaooo #anyways #this is like half thought out I fear #I miss my guys #cal.txt #spn #supernatural #jack kline #dean winchester #dean and jack #tfw2.0 #sam winchester #sam and jack #cas #cas and jack #like I do love Sam and cas as dads they’re all his dads . dean is just my favorite im sorry #if I said people don’t like dean as a dad that much bc he doesn’t infantilize jack …… would you brain me with a rock ….. be honest #liek … Idk #I am noticing patterns and I do not like them or the common theme they share #goodnight gang

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heph · 3 months

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Hey, I remember you mentioning on your IG something about two types of popular artists and one being good at social media and the other being good at art or something like that (I can't really remember lol). But it got me thinking, any tips for how to be good at social media? Cuz I'm certainly not even after posting art for six years lol

Heya!

What I meant by that is that there are traits that allow you to grow on social media, and traits that determine what a highly skilled artist is, and those traits do not always necessarily overlap.

I've seen so many amazing artists that post artwork that blow my head off, and yet they don't have many likes. On the other hand, some artists at the same skill level who draw more popular things will get way more attention.

That is not to say that either is the correct way to create art, but there is definitely a formula to social media that is in play.

There are a lot of posts about how to grow a social media account, particularly on TikTok, YouTube and Instagram art spheres, and imo you really need to examine what you want from your art before jumping into social media mode

The stuff you create to pander to social media might not be art that you want to create at all - I'm lucky, because I am less artist more storyteller, and what I enjoy is telling jokes and silly stories to liven up people's moods :] this, of course, conveniently does well on social media. On a personal note, I have a history of being a recluse and not connecting well with people, and art is my way of trying to communicate my feelings, one way or another.

So of course, if you draw for any reason other than my own, my approach to art and it's relation to social media might be inappropriate for you.

All that being said, if u take a look at those "get big on social media" videos they always cite the same few points... And you can look into that, for sure, but this video sums up how I feel about all that.

I spent like 20 minutes drafting words after the above paragraph, but I really ended up regurgitating sentiments from the video... So really don't listen to me, listen to that video

EDIT:

I just realised I didnt actually answer the question with my anecdotal experience, so here's a list of things I did

1. Posted like 3 doodles a day on social media

I did this for 6 months on a side account on Twitter recently and got the account to 11k followers... And I did this for 3 months on Instagram a few years ago and I think got 3.5k followers. Of course, do not spam maliciously and make sure your art is still of good quality, but for those artworks I posted quickly, I did not colour, and mostly did clean sketches. This also trains you in the matter of line confidence haha. Again, this worked for me because of my set of circumstances (love for the media, want to tell stories, simple art style)

2. Focus on my favourite aspects of media

This helps with respect to burnout - kinda hard to burnout when you love what you're making! For me, it's character interactions and comics. I want to see my blorbos kiss and if I'm not the one drawing it who will?!

3. Interact with people

People eat up work that they can interact with. A choose your own story situation, one of those like/rt to strip a character 😭 those do numbers for a reason.

Additionally, if you post stuff people love, people will respond to it with comments, maybe their own headcanons, adding on to the work... I've gone into long looong Twitter thread conversations with people who added onto my ideas that I threw up onto the screen and I think it's also a nice thing to do to respond to positive comments haha... I'm not very good at this (read: bad at communication)

I think that's the key points... Hope this helps!

#people who are good at social media are good at marketing basically #theyre their own hype man who has something cool to show #and would like to show everyone that cool thing!#its not purely about art its also about charisma and trying to get people to be convinced that youre cool as well #thats why there are social media influencers #people who vlog and get popular because of the way they present themselves #me i am very much my own hype man #not really because im particularly good at art (im not) but because i have so many thoughts in my head that i want to share #and i need people to also be poisoned by these thoughts so i enthusiastically promote it #side eyes the blood soup comic i dedicated like 20 pages to #on my end it comes from the love of media and my desire to build upon the established canon #but i understand that not everyone is so intensely passionate about their own work... but yknow #you need to love your own art in order for it to succeed #just like you need to love yourself before you can grow as a person #its easy for me to say because i do have social media attention though #i remember so desperately chasing social media validation when i was 16 #so really i cant really say much regarding that haha #but do watch the video and hopefully it helps!#i wrote so many words...#heph answered

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skunkes · 30 days

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I mean this vent completely neutrally and as an observation rather than Woe is Me negativity but going ham in my sketchbook has been Fun but along with not really Learning anything (tho historically no art knowledge ever sticks to my brain) I'm no closer to understanding how I WANT to draw! if that makes sense.

I dont really identify with or want to continue any of the patterns I try (nor do they get any more muscle memory-y, in the fundamentals area).

Its fine as long as its Fun but I really feel the aimlessness. Like I'll keep going but I've also. Been doing that. All I do is Keep Going, when does it all tetris together!

#continuation of this is like. idk how to trust my eyes if im being honest! and im understanding rules but not how to break em #like how i understand that in realistic proportions theres as much space above the eyes than below them on a face #but obviously people draw characters with shorter foreheads/skulls all the time #ive done it too. but it looks Wrong when i do it on purpose. i feel everything i try to do looks unintentionally wrong #idk how to get to the intentional part or what i even want that to look like!#the permanent issue of not knowing what i want it to look like i just know i dont want it to look like this #which is bad bc you shouldnt qualify things by the negatives like that....wagh #im no good at making things from scratch i wish someone wld just draw in my ideal art style already so i cld study it #(jork)#technically i cld do this with urasawa bc like i said thats a dream style right there ill just infuse it with mine #but it Feels wrong #and i know u dont need to have 1 art style forever but i draw one way and forget all the previous ways ive ever drawn #i rly dont understand! i wish we cld share brains with each other so i cld gain understanding of what to do next ykwim #bc ill always keep going i just worry im never going to Get it #that there will always be that bizarre and extreme disconnect between eye and mind and hand #talkys

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cupuasu · 4 months

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idk man i dont feel the need to always message my friends and always go out with friends like if it happens it happens i like the spontaneity of it all. i don't think i'm a bad friend for not being up someone's ass all the time. i can spend months not talking to someone but if i see them on the street i'll go up to hug and talk to them bc for me it's never that deep to spend a long period not contacting someone. plus now all friends i made irl are at completely different point in their lives and i'm still at the same place i was in like 2019 so i do feel like i'm not "supposed" to be bothering them (wrong of me to assume im bothering i know but all i do is wait for most of them to do the first move). and nowadays all everyone posts about is you're not a real friend if you dont answer my msgs 1 second later you're not a real friend if you don't go to parties 8 days a week with someone you met in the public bathroom a thousand years ago you're not a real friend if you don't go to therapy and stop bothering your friends about your illness like omg. i'll talk to people i like i'll hang out whenever it works and i'll message you back and i won't mention my depression and i'll act normal in public but i honestly can't wait to go back home and be alone. i love you so much and me not talking to you doesn't mean i like you less or that i don't want to be your friend it just means i want some time out to be on my own lol

#like im quiet with ppl i dont know but i used to talk about anything with my friends irl and now i cant bc #apparently all of them hate people who share their thoughts too much and like ok i can be quiet with you too i dont mind spending time in #silence i actually like that better.#n now theres this 'get away from ppl who are too negative or too oversharing or too trauma dumpy or too weird bc their bad energy is pushing #you back' thing like.....???????????????????????#sure im defensive bc i Am that guy but i understand that can be annoying #however its just crazy that like for me at least being around my friends feels like im performing the same way it feels when im with a #stranger #bc they just want to surround themselves with this idea that Everything has to be perfect all the time and you cant feel anything #or you'll ruin the vibe #like HELPPPPPPPPPPP. fellow depressed oomf-chan let's do euthanausia together #its not like i want to be depressed all the time its i cant help it being that way and i will try my best to not ruin my friend's day ofc #& also i would never not hang out with my friends that are going thru a bad time bc of 'bad vibes' or 'bc i dnt need that in my life rn'#222

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