#I’m rapidly losing the joy I felt for this job and this guy isn’t helping

[asmolbirb]

.

#delete later #tag rant #vent #raging screaming frothing at the mouth about work and I need to yell about it so ! time for a tag rant!! #this fucking account guy is getting on my last goddamn nerve #he’s always the first person to roll over and say yes to any bullshit client request without thinking about the creative work required #and then he turns around and refuses to do the same amount of work as the creatives because it’s too much for him #he’s LAZY he’s fucking LAZY and he’s still offering us up on a fucking serving platter to our clients!!! #I take a lot of pride in my work and try hard to make everyone else’s jobs easier #if I am making a decision that someone else will question then I leave rationale alongside the decision #and this mf just DOESNT READ #he doesn’t read and then he leaves brain dead comments saying ‘this didn’t address the client feedback’ #first of all it did address the feedback! it’s just phrased different! maybe learn to read! #second of all I LEFT RATIONALE for why I addressed the feedback differently. why don’t you read the rationale asshole!! #oh is it because there were too many comments last round? there was too much for you to review? #GUESS WHO HAD TO MAKE ALL THOSE COMMENTS #it’s such a fucking slap in the face. he can’t do what we do and yet he gets to throw us to the wolves? he gets the leeway? #I’m rapidly losing the joy I felt for this job and this guy isn’t helping #fucking hell

[vesuvianmess]

Popsicles?

Art by @jilljoycearts Drexxel is @vesuvianmess Vell is @deathbyarcana

A short fic recounting how these two met, pulled (with some edits) directly from a currently running roleplay.

Quick Warning: Contains mentions of stalking and harassment

"You are very welcome, have a good rest of your day!" He waved the group off with a smile. "Hiya, what can I get you?" He asked another.

Flitting back and forth from group to group, he greeted every single person with a genuine smile. There was nothing more satisfying than seeing others light up with joy. He’d taken up working at the bakery part time to help with some expenses of running his own shop. And he had to admit, the smell of fresh baked bread may have influenced that choice. The job was never boring as the market was always flooded with people, locals and travelers alike, all looking for something. Still, he only worked with Selasi during the mornings and early afternoons. When he’d had his fill, he would return home to open the doors to his own little business.

But today, he had something a little different in mind. Instead of selling little animal pelts, herbs, bits, and bobbles, he was in and out again in a flash. Having changed into something much more comfortable for the heat, he pulled a wheeled cart behind him to the town square. Near the fountain, he’d found the perfect spot and pulled the cover off the cart. It would take him a little time to set everything up, but once it was done, he noticed people already beginning to gather around. Some faces he'd seen many, many times before. Others, much more new. Taking a seat on an overturned wooden bucket, he twirled a pair of drumsticks between his fingers. 

“Hello Vesuvia, I’m bringing you a special late afternoon show! Now then," he sat up a little, the line of his back straightening. "For those of you new to my show, we have fun here! Here's how this goes!" making a grand sweeping gesture to the gathered crowd, he continued on. "You may request a song but there is no guarantee I will play it. I will not tolerate pushing, shoving, or otherwise harmful activity during my shows. And, as always, tips are appreciated but not required, come stay for awhile and feel the beat of the sound! I'm Drexxel Volkov, and may luck be forever in your favor!" 

It started with a small metallic chime, a shortstop of little taps on the rims of the set. But before long the square was alight with the beating of drums. His whole body moved in time with each beat almost as if he were dancing along to his own song. Small children bounced and tugged at their parents' sleeves, urging them to get closer. New comers stood with delighted expressions, some even getting a little antsy standing in one place, others giving way to bouncing their bodies to the rhythm. 

There was nothing better than this, looking out into the crowd as he thrummed away the minutes, flipping the sticks and singing along even though nobody could hear him over the heartbeat he'd created. 

The crowd was thick as usual but new faces stuck out easy to him. Even with the prick of sweat beginning to roll down his forehead, he was able to focus enough to make everyone feel included in his performance. One face in particular he stopped at for more than a split second. A taller man with vivid blue hair, dark skin, and a sort of shaken demeanor. He looked….out of place perhaps amid the crowd, like he could bolt at any moment. Drexel found himself stealing glances at the man throughout his show, a dizzying knot of butterflies in his gut as he saw the man start to meld into the hum around him. The thrill of the performance carried him through like a tidal wave crashing against the shore, his fiery passion shining through clear as day. Every movement felt natural, every breath felt like a whole new beginning. Drexxel never came from a background that favored this sort of thing, rather it was something he'd picked up on his own time. He had the extra energy to spare and needed an outlet to help with it. Besides, he always did like seeing people smile and what better way to do that then get them moving? 

Into the second song now and he felt a wave of static run through him. Someone in the crowd was a magician. He could feel it. Even through the loud beating of drums and the crashing of cymbals the low electrical humming filled his body. He was sure of it. But was this magician able to sense him as well? That he did not know. He wasn’t sure precisely where the feeling was coming from, but he was determined to draw it out. With it toying at his mind, he decided it was time to show off just a little more. After all, using magic was a good way to lure out another magician. 

Drexxel simply waited as he beat along in time to find the perfect moment to really show off his moves. Normally he would have saved this bit for later in the evening, but he just had to do it now. After feeling that little pang of magic, he knew he had to show whoever was producing it, that they weren't the only one with fancy magic at their fingertips. Just a moment longer....

When the final chorus of the song hit, he let it loose. His drumsticks sparked and crackled to life, enveloped in searing hot flames. With his sticks now burning with intense heat, he slammed away at his drums with more grandeur and energy than before. With each hit fire roared from the contact point, creating a dazzling display of towers of fire in varying sizes. If anything were to draw this other magician out, it would be this. 

By the end of the show, much to his dismay, this fellow kin had not revealed themselves. It was a bit of a shame really, he would have loved to have someone join in his performance. What a dazzling display that would have been. He could only imagine what kind of magic would have complimented his own.

"Thank you all for joining me this afternoon!" He gave a bow, his hair falling a bit loose from his bun. "It's a hot one out today so make sure to stay hydrated and get some good food in your belly!" 

 He stood and lifted his arms over his head in a long stretch before using the rad cloth tied to his side to wipe away the sweat that cling to his skin. The show was over, but people still lingered in the area, some tossing coins into an open bowl near the drum set, others approaching Drexxel with questions. He was small for his age of twenty-five, standing at mere chest (or just below) level with most other adult’s that spoke with him. He had a thin, but decently sturdy frame with most of his strength apparent in his legs. Most people would know him for a scar that ran along his right cheek. Whenever asked about it he would simply tell them he didn’t remember where it came from but knew he’d had it most of his life. 

The town square was still bustling with people as he began to pack up his things. Above it all though, he could hear footsteps approaching him. He paused a moment then spun on his heel to come face to face with a regular to his shows. The man was leagues taller than himself and had a strange look to his eyes. He was holding a piece of paper, crumpled and damp with sweat in his hands. Drexxel heard the man speak but didn’t quite catch the words. 

“I’m sorry?” He responded back, urging the man to repeat himself. When he did, a chill ran down his spine. “...Go out with me. Dinner.” He pushed the paper into Drexxel’s hands. “You’re so pretty.” 

The smaller pulled the note apart just enough to read it. In shaken scrawl it read:

‘Don’t make a scene. I’ve been planning this. You and I belong together.’

He’d seen this sort of thing before in books and screenplays. Some secret admirer gets too confident and goes after someone who isn’t interested and it becomes a problem. Problem being a kind way to put it. Harassment was a better word for it. Bold of him to make the attempt in broad daylight, let alone a busy square. In the kindest way possible, Drexel looked up at the man and spoke.

“I’d love to, but I have plans this evening. Another show I mean.” 

He felt the prickle of magic in the air again, but it wasn’t coming from the man in front of him. The magician was still in the area. 

"Excuse me, I'm talking to you." the man's voice broke him from his thoughts. "I'll be picking you up this evening."

Drexxel's brow furrowed, the energy around him shifting like hissing smoke trying to catch on damp wood. 

"I'm really sorry, I mean it." He offered a sincerely looking apologetic smile. "But I really must be getting home." He made a move to leave but was stopped when the man caught his wrist. 

"You're not going anywhere short-stack." 

This....could be bad. As much as the crowd had dissipated, there were still people lingering about. Too much of a risk to cause a scene. But every fiber of Drexxel's being was telling him to flee. He needed an out. In the most...nonchalant way possible, he attempted to wriggle his wrist free. 

"Your performance really spoke to me Drexxy. It's like you were composing a symphony just for me." As he was caught in his own little moment, Drexxel pulled his wrist free. But it only lasted a second.

He felt a pull against his skin before he heard a small snap. The man had missed when reaching for Drexxel's wrist and instead caught the beaded double bracelet on his wrist. Beads had gone flying haphazardly in every direction, landing on the stones below like pellets. In that moment he felt the pull of magic much closer than before. This other magician was close. Very close. 

Drexxel was unfortunately used to people approaching him with much more....fervor than he anticipated. However, this particular instance was something else. He'd never had someone so adamant on taking him home. If this were to go on for a moment longer, he was sure to lose his composer. He may be a pretty upbeat guy but he also had a notoriously short fuse. 

That hissing aura was rapidly kindling itself from a crackling campfire to a firestorm. When his bracelet snapped, he felt something in him switch. Rage bubbled up under his skin like pot boiling over on a stove set too high. His fist clenched and a growl escaped him. 

But then, out of nowhere, everything around him stopped. He was about to throw a fiery punch but stopped short when he saw another man between him and his new 'friend'. It was the man he saw in the crowd! He said he was there to help just now. But what was he doing here and how did he…

"How--?" Then it hit him like a hard slap to the face. "So you're the magician I was picking up on!" His anger flickered back to amusement and joy. "I knew I wasn't imagining it! Oh! The helping thing, yes." 

Drexxel offered the newest stranger a warm, bright smile. Without hesitation, he grabbed his hand and shook it furiously. 

"Nice to meet you, I'm Drexxel! What do you say we blow this popsicle stand and get somewhere far away from this creep?"

The other man seemed to freeze up, like he expected a much worse response. His whole arm wobbled when Drexxel shook it. His eyes were wide and his lips parted in shock. It took him a minute to process what the smaller man had said to him. 

“Oh, I…that is….popcicles?” The man felt his face go hot, blood rushing to his cheeks. He was sure the smaller man would mistake him for a tomato. 

Drexxel watched him curiously. It was like watching the gears of a clock turning, the way this man seemed to be having an inner monologue with himself about whether or not he’d made the right call to get involved. He could feel how shaken up the man was, his hand trembling. Not very good at keeping his cool was he? Finally he spoke again. 

“It’s localized. My….my magic…it…I mean I…no, it. It will wear off when we get a distance away. He could follow? I- who, well…popsicles?”

Drexxel had always been good at making new friends and getting people to laugh and smile. He was small, yes, but he made up for his size with seemingly boundless energy. It was nearly impossible to not like the guy. But, he could tell, he kind of took this one by surprise. But it wasn't the first time someone had responded this way. Not often he got to see someone turn that red before though!

Whoever this new guy was, Drexxel had never seen his face in Vesuvia before. And he’dbeen in the city for quite some time now. It'd been since he was about nineteen. He knew almost every face in Vesuvia, even if a good handful of them were only in passing. But this one, this one he wanted to know more about. Consider his interest piqued. 

When time came back and this new magician struggled to make a clear sentence, it was all Drexxel could do to hold in a laugh. Localized magic though, not sure he'd heard of that one before. He completely skipped over the popsicle schtick.

"Localized huh? Hey, think you could use your magic with mine? I'm thinking....a wall of fire!" He still hadn't let go of the stranger's hand. "I could put a wall of fire around him, just tall enough to trip him up of course. You could stop time around it until we get far enough away that your....localization wears off!" Mossy green eyes brimmed with excitement. He gave the hand in his a squeeze. 

"I bet we'll make a great team!"

He could see the man trying to process the words coming out of Drexxel’s mouth. He’ll admit, he was a bit of a fast talker when he was excited. 

“Wall of fire…” He repeated Drexxel’s words, more to himself than the other, considering the idea. Not terribly flawed, he thought. A quick fix but not long lasting. “Worth…worth a shot.” an unsteady voice. “Wait - a team?” Vell had barely gotten the words out before the air thrummed with magical energy and, just as promised, fire sprung to life around the note wielding creep. If the situation weren’t as it was, he might have taken time to admire the flames.

"That's what I said isn't it? A team!" He mused, giving this new friend a wink. 

When time did in fact stop around his flames, the passion in his eyes burned that much brighter. He beamed at this new stranger. 

"Talk about a cool party trick. Come on, let's get out of here." Still gripping that hand, he took off. Hopefully this new friend could keep up with him. 

They took off out of the square, rushing past pedestrians and shopping stalls in a race to escape the area. Drexxel had taken the lead, ducking and diving under obstacles like it was as easy as breathing. He felt his new found companion trip up a few times but he managed to keep up the pace. He was new to Vesuvia and hadn’t the slightest idea where the two of them were headed. Drexxel looked back to check on his new friend at just the wrong moment. The edge of his sandal caught on uneven stone, sending him tumbling into an unattended fruit cart, scattering oranges along the alley. He’d never let go of this new companion’s hand, and in turn, the two of them fell together. The other man now had him pinned, a leg on either side of him. 

“I-- We-- uh…” The stranger fought to find the right words, feeling like a tea kettle ready to whistle. “We fell.” 

Drexxel could feel his own face burning a bright shade. He would have been able to laugh it off if it weren’t for his immediate attraction to this man. Impulse guiding him, he offered the man a toying smirk. “You know, I think this might be fate.” He winked. “And I don’t even know your name.” 

“M-my name?” The other man stuttered.

He tried to stand, pulling on Drexxel’s hands to pull him up as well, only to lose his footing. He fell back onto the stone, the smaller of the two now sitting perched on his abdomen. The look in his eyes was….entrancing. Intoxicating even. He couldn’t look away. “I’m Vell.” 

“Vell…” Drexxel liked the way the name felt when he said it. He let his hands drift to the other man’s chest, watching him with bright eager eyes.

Now, what was that saying about playing with fire?

#the arcana #fan apprentice #apprentice vell #apprentice drexxel #jilljoycearts #straight from roleplay #fanfic #ficlet #my writing #vexxel

[shittyfandomimagines]

When You’re Ready

y’all I found this old gem, headcannon.

This shit is dumb, sorry.

Gif creds to owner

“I’m not coming back Shawn, I need a break” the words fell off my tongue before I even had a chance to process them. I knew in my heart it was exactly what I needed too, not even because of our argument.

“Baby,” his voice came off strangled, I saw the tears instantly and it absolutely killed me. It didn’t matter how many times we’ve fought or wanted to scream, the tears of someone you love is the hardest tears to see.

“I didn’t mean what I said, at all. I’m so sorry, please don’t leave me like this. I can’t fucking lose you.” He sobbed and I had to choke back my own. I needed to be strong to make it through this.

“I’m not breaking up with you Shawn,” I mumbled and he looked up so quickly that I was convinced that he’d obtain whiplash.

“What?” He asks with the hope of a small child.

“I’m taking a break, I need time to become myself again. Become someone who will be herself even when you’re not around. I give myself to you and your lifestyle so much that I never realized I don’t take care of myself the way I should. You were right when you said that I depend too much on you and that I’m too needy.”

“God, I should’ve never said that. Fuck. If anything, I’m needier than you are. I want you to be the happiest version of yourself and I’m so sorry I’m causing this much of a riff.”

“Shawn, this was a problem within me before we even had this fight tonight. If I’m being honest, I’m more upset with myself than the fucking fight, I’m honestly over that. I just don’t need to be with you anymore.”

“What?” His voice crumbled once again, I mentally punched myself for not analyzing my words further.

“No no, I want to be with you and I still fucking love you. I’m just apparently really bad with grammar. I mean I need to take some time away from you. I need to breathe and become me again. Please.” I explain myself and I see him relax some.

“I’ll wait for you. Even if it’s 10 years from now and you’re taking your sweet time, I’d be waiting with open arms.” He whispers as he kisses my forehead gently.

“I’m going to stay with a friend. I’m going to go pack and I’ll let you know who I’m staying with, I promise I don’t mean to hurt you.”

“You shouldn’t apologize for it, honey, it would hurt me worse to know you were suffocating in your own skin while I paraded around without knowledge of it.” He kisses my forehead once again and I engulf him in a hug.

“Shawn, I fucking love you. Okay?” I ask and he nods before repeating it.

———

“Today we have Shawn Mendes in the station with us, how are ya, buddy?” I almost flipped that channel but I heard them say his name, my heart rupturing some.

“I am doing good, you guys doing okay?” He replies and my heart ached at the sound of his sweet voice coming through the speakers of my car.

I hadn’t heard his voice in almost 4 months, it was so hard not to call him every day and tell him about my day. Or to drive to his apartment to make those disgusting ass oatmeal cookies that he loved dearly, he was the worst assistant when making them, but it always made us laugh. Or to call him to tell him I heard his album that he dropped last month, that I was so proud of his lyrical talent.

“We heard from a little birdie that you were releasing a new single today from the album?” They ask and I heard his fucking giggle, I always loved that giggle. It was the one of pure joy when his music was about to be released and he’d get to make the fans happy. I figured it would be WWYITM, it’s a very radio song (which isn’t a bad thing).

“I heard from a little birdie that you guys were gonna play it today.” He stated boldly and it made me laugh, he’s silly as hell.

“Well, you heard the boss. Here is When You’re Ready by Shawn Mendes.” The guy said and I had to stop myself from slamming on my brakes in the middle of the fucking interstate. When I heard this song when it was released, I knew it was for sure meant for me to hear... hell, he used what we said before I left. Not to help that it was the last song on the album, it sealed the deal.

The song played and I had tears running down my face rapidly, I fucking missed this guy. I had solely been off social media sites, besides when my friend told me that his album came out, I had started to eat healthier and workout, heck I even gave up coffee!

I got a new job that actually makes me beyond happy and I fit in so much better, my coworkers had so much more in common with me. I felt happy and airy, constantly.

So when his song played, I was trying to figure out why the hell I hadn’t run back into those loving arms yet. Why I hadn’t told him all the good I had been feeling? If I love him so dearly, why the fuck am I not with him?

“Wow! What a good song, dude. I have to ask, are you and your long term lover Y/n broken up? That's some deep stuff.” The guy who finally said his name, Lewis, asked and I feared the answer. I was so glad I had pulled into my friend's driveway before I had a heart attack.

“You’re right, it is some deep stuff. I am still very much in love with her and very much in a relationship. As any couple has felt this way, we’re going through things. We’re 21-year-olds who are trying to live in this society, we have things we need to work on and there’s not a day that I want to waste on not waiting for her... even when I have her, I’ll wait on her forever. Something that good shouldn’t slip through your fingertips. I’d wait forever, as long as she waits for me. She’s the one for me.”

“That’s so touching, I’m so glad that there are couples like you in this world. I’m also so glad you could stop by when we got to show this region that beautiful song.” Lewis complimented before Shawn said his goodbyes too.

I cried my eyes out at his little mantra, I didn’t even process that I was backing out of the parking spot. My mind leads me to where my heart needed to be... with him.

I was parked outside of his house, our house? I sat on the small bench we bought at some thrift store, I refused to buy some fancy ass one. I heard the car door slam and feet running towards me, looking up to see Shawn’s hopeful eyes.

“Y/n.” He spoke like he was out of breath, but he wasn’t.

“Hey, can we talk?” I ask and he nods quickly.

“It’s pretty hot out here baby, you still have your key. You could’ve gone in.” He scolds and I laugh a little.

“I’m so sorry,” I was already a crying mess the minute I walked into his house. I saw all of our photos were in the same place, the house was tidy and it was like I never left. So many memories flooded through.

“I know baby, there’s nothing to be sorry about. God, I love you so much and I will wait until you are ready.” He has some tears too.

“I heard your interview earlier, I was driving home from work and it just hit me so hard. I heard your album last month, which was amazing by the way, but like it hit different today because I knew it was time. I’ve been doing so well recently and I just know you’re the missing piece. I need you.” I was talking so fast but he listened so intently.

He didn’t say anything but he kissed me so hard, wrapping his arms around me. I didn’t know how much I missed his hugs and loving. He pulled back to start to wipe my tears off, he had so much love in his eyes.

“The words in the song are beyond true. I went to my dad after you left, he told me that you were the one, he could just tell. He told me to keep my head held high because a love like ours would last a lifetime. Because I know he’s right, I didn’t even fight it because we make it through tours and time zones, it’s always been us. I know love the most when I’m with you and you’re in my arms.”

“You’re the best thing in my life. I could never find someone like you again in this lifetime. So if you’d have me, I would love to come home.”

“It hasn’t been home since you left, so baby... welcome back.”

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes masterlist #shawnmendesmasterlist #shawn mendes blurbs #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes fluff #shawnmendesangst #shawnmendesfluff #shawnmendesblurbs #shawnmendeswriting #shawn mendes writing #shawn mendes preference #shawn mendes imagines #shawnmendesimagines #shawn mendes shit

[foreverwayward]

“You, Him, and Me” Part 3

Reader, Sam, and Dean

Warnings: Angst, SO MUCH ANGST, fluff, and mild violence.

Word Count: 1908

Summary: Y/N turned out to be the missing piece that Winchesters had always hoped would find them. Bonds have been made and friendships grew into more than they were prepared for. The family quickly became a love triangle consumed by longing and broken hearts. Y/N is Dean’s world. Y/N is Sam’s world. But who is hers?

Part 1   Part 2

Or is THIS how it really happened...?

It had been nearly two months since Y/N had left the bunker; leaving Sam and Dean constantly hanging on her last words to them. Though the brothers never spoke of it, the tension between them was clearly there. They seemed to talk less with them both trying to cope with losing her.

The bunker was quieter without her; empty even. Her laughs or the sound of her singing carelessly in the shower used to fill the halls. Without them, the silence was almost deafening. Even as a hunter who had known more pain than anyone should ever know, Y/N held onto hope and helped the Winchesters find the joy they were missing in their lives.

As Sam sat at his usual spot in the library, Dean walked in with his laptop. He cleared his throat and sat down. Things seemed to almost be awkward between them.

“I uh--think I found us a case,” Dean said as he turned the monitor to face his brother.

Sam pulled it toward himself and read it quietly. “Vamps?”

“Looks like. Six deaths in the last three months; all sucked dry, and all within a twenty-mile radius.”

“So, we’re looking at a nest most likely.”

Dean nodded. “That’s what I’m thinking. Did some recon, and I think I pinpointed their location. It’s only a couple hours drive, wanna head out?” He stood to leave only waiting for Sam’s reply.

Needing the distraction, Sam closed his books and sighed. “Yeah, sure.”

“Wheels up in ten,” Dean told him over his shoulder as he walked away.

------

Sam and Dean had left the Impala nearly half a mile away from the abandoned building Dean had found. They armed themselves with blades and a machete dipped in dead man’s blood, but not forgetting the Colt. Moving quietly and diligently, they climbed the stairs; their boots making little to no sound.

A loud crash came from several flights up and the brothers shared a look before rushing up the stairs in its direction. The obvious grunts and sound of snarls and breaking objects grew as the Winchester’s realized they were walking into a brawl.

The ruckus died down as they reached the top floor and neared the large, rusted double doors. With each of them on opposite sides of the entrance, they nodded to each other before kicking it in, ready for the fight.

Both of the brothers stood frozen in shock and lowered their weapons seeing Y/N spin around effortlessly as her machete sliced off the head of the remaining vampire. She panted heavily; the bodies of several vampires littering the room.

“Y/N…?” Sam asked softly.

She turned in their direction, her breathing still staggered, her clothes and face covered in blood. “Sam? ...Dean?”

Dean’s eyes blinked rapidly as if he was shocked and trying to absorb what was happening. “Holy hell, Y/N/N. You did this?”

“Well, you never let me off my leash much, did you?” Y/N squatted down and wiped the blade clean using the coat of one of the dead creatures.

“...clearly,” he scoffed with a smile.

Sam and Dean couldn’t help the grins that grew on their faces. Y/N always impressed them in everything she did. She was well trained and knew the job better than most hunters; even better than the Winchesters at times. And more than that, even splattered in blood, she was the most beautiful woman either of them had ever seen. Their hearts always seemed to stop whenever Y/N was around.

“I should go,” Y/N said softly as she went to grab her gear she had tossed to the side in the fray.

Unable to keep his mouth shut, Sam stopped her as she went for the door. “Y/N, can’t we--” he paused and took a breath trying to think through what he should say. “Can’t we talk?”

“Guys, there’s nothing to say. Please...let’s not do this.”

Dean wasn’t going to let her go that easily; not like he did last time. “Fine, no talking, okay? Where are you staying?”

“Just been sleeping in the car.”

“Alright, how about you just come back to the bunker, get cleaned up and get some rest? We won’t push anything else.” The three went silent as Y/N threw flung duffle bag over her shoulder. “Promise.”

She sighed. “Okay. One night.”

Trying not to seem too eager, Sam and Dean left it at that as she walked ahead of them and started down the stairs. They both turned to each other and shared a knowing look. Both of them wanted Y/N home, but they knew...nothing had changed.

------

Late that night, Sam heard a noise coming from the library. In his sweats, t-shirt, and socks, he left his room and made his way toward the noise. Though massive in every way, it was incredible how little noise Sam made coming down the hall.

As he turned the corner and looked into the library, he saw Y/N; her hair up in a bun and still damp from her shower. She was in a fitted tank-top and favorite pair of pajama pants as she sat reading. How much she loved books was one of the many things that Sam adored about her. 

Sam forgot how much he missed the little things she brought to their home. Even just the sight of her cross-legged and curled up with a book brought a smile to the hunter’s face. Y/N was even more stunning than he remembered.

Clearing his throat, hoping to get her attention, Sam stood in the entryway. When she turned to the sound, he half-smiled. “Back in your natural habitat already, huh?”

“Seems as though,” she said sharing the same forced grin.

As he walked in, he nodded toward a chair nearby. “You mind if I…?”

“Go for it,” Y/N replied with a hand gesturing for him to join her.

Sam settled into his seat nervously; his eyes never drifting from her. He noted everything about her and studied her features worried he would have only those memories to go on if she left again.

A small strand of hair that always fell on her face, curled near her eye. Y/N’s smaller, but trained hands held her book like you would a treasured item. He even noticed the chipped nail polish on her fingers from after the hunt. Sam waited, knowing exactly what she would do once she was lost in the pages in front of her. She bit her lip as she focused and it made his heart race. Every part of her seemed to have been tailored to make Sam fall in love with her.

Clearing his throat again anxiously, he worked up the courage to talk to her. “It’s good to see you.”

Y/N closed the book as she marked the page and sat it in her lap. “You too, Sam.”

He chuckled nervously. “I don’t know how to act around you anymore. I mean, it just feels...different now, ya know?”

“Yeah…” she nodded softly. “I know what you mean.” When it went quiet, Y/N stood from her chair and began to walk across the wooden floors. “Well, goodnight.”

Sam mustered up all of his courage and his chair squeaked on the floor as he stood quickly. “Y/N…” She turned to face him and he tried to steady his racing heart as he slowly made his way toward her. “It hasn’t been the same without you.”

“It hasn’t been the same without you,” she replied gently.

“I mean it,” Sam said still easing his way in her direction. Their eyes were locked on each other and the tension between them grew. “This place...it just isn’t home without you.”

As he towered over her, Y/N felt her pulse rise and she gulped with Sam as close as he was. His large hand went up to her face and adjusted the fallen strand of hair back to its rightful place. But he lingered there as his thumb grazed her jawline.

When she didn’t pull away and stared into his eyes, Sam felt a pull between them. And without thought, he bent down to softly kiss her. Everything inside him was terrified of the possible rejection, but the ache his lips felt for hers was too strong for him to fight.

It only took a second before Sam felt Y/N melt into it as she tenderly kissed him in return. His right hand hooked behind her neck and his left took her waist; pulling her as close as he could.

The passion between them grew and as the kiss intensified, the two hunters practically moaned into each other’s mouths. Sam scooped her up to hold her thighs as her legs wrapped around his waist. He spun around and sat her on the table next to them as the two got lost in the most fervent kiss either had ever experienced.

They broke apart with heavy breaths as Sam looked Y/N in the eye. “I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you too.”

And with those words finally spoken, the hunters’ lips crashed back together as they tugged each other closer and closer.

Dean stood in the hallway, frozen. His heart sank as he watched the only woman he had ever loved in a passionate embrace with his brother. He quietly stepped back into the shadows not wanting to be noticed as a tear fell from his eyes.

Closing his bedroom door behind him, Dean went to the sink and leaned onto the cold porcelain. His glance peered up as he looked at his reflection. The Winchester’s jaw ticked and his emotions took hold as his heartache turned to rage. Sam had gone back on his word that neither of them would go after her. Without thought, his fist slammed into the mirror and shattered the glass. His reflection looked broken and distorted as he looked back at himself. Dean’s eyes were red as he struggled not to cry; he didn’t even notice the blood that dripped from his knuckles.

With somber steps, Dean went to the side of his bed and sat down. His head fell until the frame on the side table caught his eye. It was his favorite picture; the one of him standing in front of the Impala smiling from ear to ear with Y/N in front of him, his arms wrapped around her.

He picked up the picture and ran his thumb over her face; the ache in his heart continuing to grow. Dean knew how deeply he loved Y/N and how she was the only woman he had ever wanted. After seeing her and Sam together, he realized that he would never have her, and it tore him apart from the inside out.

Dean held the frame in both hands, clinging to the closest thing he had to holding her in his arms again. Tears streamed down his face and dropped onto the glass as he silently wept alone in his room. He loved her more than he had ever loved anyone. But she would be the one he watched slip through his fingers and into the arms of his brother.

Feeling forgotten and broken, Dean lovingly looked at her face one more time before putting the picture back in its rightful spot on the nightstand. He drug his palm down his face as he wiped away the tears; the sound of her soft laugh echoing down the hallway.

------

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[inkblotsonmyhands]

A Second Chance

This idea came to me in a dream and I thought, why not post it to tumblr. Really more so I don’t lose the story, having all my work nearly organised in a blog seems like a good idea. If anyone actually reads this-I apologize for all the clichés  .

Wordcount: 2.6k 

Here we go.

A Second Chance

 When you step outside close to midnight for an angsty stroll, you don’t expect the primary source of said angst to appear right in front of you.  

Yet there she is. Carrie Miller is walking down the road, accompanied by Sam Bennett. Towards me. I can already predict this isn’t going to go well. Every time I even attempt to talk to her, I end up stumbling over all my words and sounding like a complete loser. Sam’s presence is only going to make things worse.

“Ash!”

Sam knows my name? Wow. Who knew. I guess it’s too late to hide now. I make my way towards them.

Sam slaps my arm in greeting. I will never truly understand this element of bro-culture. “Didn’t expect to see you again today. How’s it hangin’, man?”

Again? I guess we saw each other at school, but is it really called ‘seeing’ someone if you pass them in the hallway while they keep their head down and avoid eye contact?

Oh, crap, I’m supposed to be replying to him. “I’m alri—“

A thud sounds somewhere. We all turn to stare at the hedge next to us. It seemed to have come from there.

Sam looks at both of us. “I’m not the only one who heard that, am I?”

We shake our heads. He shivers, rather exaggeratedly. “I’m just real spooked tonight. Everything feels creepy. Anyway,” he turns to Carrie, “Do you know Ash here?”

“You sit next to me in Geography, don’t you?”

The amount of joy I get at my crush knowing I exist is testament to how terrible I am at interacting with her on a daily basis.

“Uh, yeah, I do.”

There we go, that wasn’t completely horrible.

She smiles. Maybe she can tell how nervous I am. I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing.

Sam looks between me and Carrie before suddenly lighting up with a huge grin. Oh no. I’m not that obvious, he can’t possibly know, oh god, what’s he gonna do?

“Well, my curfew’s at midnight and my dad would kill me if I was even a second late, sooo… I gotta get going.” He smirks at me. “See ya later, kids.” He gives a friendly wave before heading off. I weakly wave back. I didn’t expect the school jock to be that… nice. Huh.

Carrie has started walking again, back the way I came. I hasten to join her. A loud rustling noise comes from that hedge near us, and we exchange a vaguely concerned glance.

“So, how do you know Sam Bennett?” Make casual conversation, Ash. You can do this.

“I don’t really know him at all, to be honest.” She fiddles with the bracelets on her wrists. “I just ran into him a while ago, and we were going in the same direction so we started walking together. How do you know him? You don’t seem like the type to know Sam.”

I frown. Not the type to know Sam? So she knows I’m a massive loser. Well. Isn’t that nice to hear.

“I actually-“

She cuts me off, talking rapidly. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, that didn’t come out right. It’s not that you’re boring or anything, just,” she lets out an exasperated sigh, shaking her head and chuckling derisively. “You know, Sam is popular and all and, oh god, I’m making this worse for myself. I’m sorry. I’ll just stop talking.”

I can’t help but smile a little.

“I get it, I’m not the most popular guy,” biggest understatement of the year, “You wouldn’t expect me to know the ‘cool kids’.” I do finger quotes around the words.

“No!” She exclaims. ���I didn’t mean it like that, I just-“

“Oh, come off it.” I grin, with a burst of confidence. “You totally meant it like that.”

She shoves my arm. “Shut up!”

This must be the best conversation I’ve ever had with her. I might have even actually managed to flirt a little. And, was I dreaming, or did she flirt back?

There’s something magical about this night. Crickets are chirping, the full moon is shining in the sky. The atmosphere is rather romantic. I glance at her. We’ve descended into a companionable silence as we walk. Maybe now is when I can finally tell her how I feel. It feels easier here, at night, with no one around to see me and judge me for all my failures.

“Carrie,” I gently touch her arm. I can do this. “I wanted to tell you something.”

She looks up at me, expectant.

Distantly, a clock starts chiming somewhere. It’s midnight.

“Oh!” Her head snaps away suddenly. “I didn’t realize how late it was!” She looks apologetic. “Tell me tomorrow, in geography, yeah?” And then she’s crossing the street and walking away, before I can really register what happened. She rounds a corner and that’s it. She’s gone.

And I’m alone in the middle of the street.

So much for romantic.

I kick a rock on the ground and watch it roll away. “Good job there, Ash.” I mutter. I turn around and start walking away from my house again. So much for releasing any of that angst, now I’m feeling almost worse than when I started. Why didn’t I stop her there? If only, when she turned, I had said no, stop, wait. I need to say this, now.

“But I didn’t, did I?” I whisper under my breath. “Ash Cornell, failure extraordinaire. Always needs more time. Always needs a second chance.” I look up at the moon and stars. They’re very bright tonight. “I just need a second chance.”

  A wave of nausea hits me. I stumble, halting in my tracks. I feel dizzy. Everything seems to be spinning. My ears are ringing. What’s happening? The world is spinning so fast that the only thing I can really see is the moon above me. The ringing is getting louder. What the hell? I’m losing it. That must be it. I’m completely losing it.

  And then, as suddenly as that burst of dizziness hit, it’s gone, and I’m standing on the same empty street. It seems almost... noisier than it was before though. Maybe the ringing in my ears hasn’t completely faded away. I feel disoriented.

A car comes zooming down the road, and I hastily jump out of the way, stumbling onto the sidewalk.

“Watch it, kid!” the driver yells.

I shake my head, snapping back to reality. Boy, was that a wakeup call. Okay. I had stepped out for a walk, and I intend to finish that walk. I stride briskly down the road, doing my best to just forget what happened so far tonight. It’s alright. Just take a turn around the Center and then head back home. You didn’t meet Carrie at all. That was just a bad dream.

Up ahead is what we call ‘The Center’, basically a mall and a cinema. I actually live quite close to it, which would be useful if I had any social life at all.

I keep my head down as I walk. I don’t want to run into anyone else tonight. One awkward conversation is enough, thank you very much.

Of course the instant I think that, I slam into someone and nearly fall over.

An arm grabs me and pulls me up before I butt-plant into the concrete.

“Whoa, you okay there, dude? Sorry ‘bout that.” Sam Bennett is looking down at me.

“Uh, it’s okay, no worries.” I manage to stammer out.

“Hey, you go to Pioneer High, don’t you?” he asks. “Austin, is it?”

Didn’t he know my name like twenty minutes ago? This is weird.

“Ashton, actually. Or just Ash.”

“Ah, got ya. You going to see the new Dr. Sleep movie, bro?” he pushes his blonde curls off his forehead. “Man, it was terrifying. I was real pissed at my dad for not letting me go to the midnight show with my basketball team, but man,” he chuckles. “It’s probably better they weren’t there with me, I screamed like a girl at some parts.”

I laugh along with him, because it seems like the polite thing to do, but something in his story throws me off.

“Didn’t let you see the midnight show? Isn’t it like, past midnight?”

“Woah, I would hope not!” He pulls out his phone, glances at the screen, and shows it to me. 11:17 pm. “My dad woulda whooped me if it were past midnight, that’s my curfew.”

His phone says it’s 11:17, and there’s no reason for that to be wrong. But… I’m pretty certain I left home around 11:30, and the clock chimed 12 not too long ago, and didn’t Sam say he had to run because it was nearly midnight when I last met him?

My confusion must be showing on my face. Sam lightly slaps my arm to get my attention.

“You seem to have messed up the time there, pal. How could you think it’s past midnight? You’re like an hour off.”

I shrug, still rather puzzled. He laughs again.

“I’d better get going, then. You said you’re headed to see the movie?”

Oh, I just realized I never really answered his question.

“No, just taking a walk.”

“Ah, enjoy your walk, then. That movie fucked me up, I’m almost afraid to walk home in the dark now.” He chuckles, and I join him, again, because it feels polite. He raises an arm in farewell before walking away.

My mind is reeling though. I was thinking it was a little past midnight, but it’s actually a little past 11 pm. And what had Sam said? ‘You’re like an hour off.’

An hour off.

Did I- no, that isn’t possible.

But then… what was that strange nausea I felt earlier? Something isn’t right. It seems preposterous, but it feels like…like I…

Went back in time?

No. No way.

But… maybe?

I turn around. I can still see Sam’s retreating figure.

Well. Only one way to find out.

I follow him.

   Following someone isn’t as exciting or stealthy as I expected it to be. Really, I’m just… trailing after him while maintaining a decent distance so he won’t hear my footsteps. He puts in some earphones, which only makes my job easier. I’ve gotten quite relaxed when Carrie emerges out of an alley between me and Sam.

Naturally my instinctual reaction to seeing her is diving behind a trash can, making it rattle loudly. Sam jumps and turns abruptly. I desperately hope I’m well hidden else this is going to be very embarrassing.

I can hear their voices. They’re talking to each other. I seize the opportunity to risk peeking out from my hiding place. They’re not facing me anymore. I need to be closer to hear them.

I begin to inch forward, pushing the bin in front of me. I briefly pause to reflect on the fact that I am literally crouched behind a trash can, attempting to sneakily spy on a conversation. Well Ash, there’s the exciting stealth you were hoping for.

“…walking with me, if you’re going this way?” I can make out Sam’s voice. “I feel like this night is noisier than usual and I am fucking terrified.”

Carrie laughs. She has a nice laugh. “Sure, no problem. My parents would probably feel better about me being out so late if they know someone walked me home.”

I can hear their footsteps now, getting fainter as they walk away. I wait until I think they’re far enough, before slowly getting up and beginning to follow them again.

Alright, Ash. This is where all those hours of Assassin’s Creed pay off.

I follow them carefully, pressing up against walls as far as possible. I move a little closer so I can vaguely hear them. They seem to be chatting about school.

It’s been a weird enough night. I’m not entirely sure whether or not I actually went back in time though, or if this was just some crazy flight of imagination. I wouldn’t put it past myself. I do do weird things in an attempt to make my life more interesting. Exhibit A, sneaking behind two of my classmates when I could probably just go over and talk to them.

That’s when I see what’s undoubtedly the strangest thing I’ve seen tonight. Scratch that, this is the strangest thing I’ve seen ever.  

It’s me.

Walking towards Carrie and Sam.

I dive behind the elaborate hedge along the front of somebody’s house. Hopefully the homeowners aren’t awake to see the teenaged guy jumping behind their hedge to hide from two other teenagers... and himself.

This move, however, places me almost right next to Carrie, Sam, and… me. We’re just separated by a hedge. God, this is weird. I can hear us quite clearly.

“…not the only one that heard that, am I?” That’s Sam’s voice. Oh, right, the mysterious thud we heard. What the hell, that thud was me, diving behind a hedge? Looks like I definitely time travelled then, somehow. I give up trying to figure out what is actually happening here.

Sam’s speaking again. “I’m just real spooked tonight. Everything feels creepy. Anyway, do you know Ash here?”

Right, he asked that to Carrie.

“You sit next to me in Geography, don’t you?”

“Uh, yeah, I do.”

And there’s me. Wow, I couldn’t possibly sound any more insecure.

I mostly tune out the rest of their conversation and try my best to remain quiet. At one point I lean too heavily on and nearly fall through the hedge. I know how this goes. Sam leaves after saying he has to get home before curfew. Carrie and I make awkward small talk. I attempt to confess how I feel, and fail completely. She walks away. I wish for a second chance.

A second chance.

My eyes widen. That’s what all this is, isn’t it? A second chance.

I can’t hear us very clearly anymore. Carrie and I have walked some distance away. We’re still talking. I peek above the bushes to watch. I can see myself lightly touch Carrie’s arm. This is it. I’m going to attempt to do it.

The clock strikes midnight. Carrie apologizes before turning to leave and crossing the road. I watch carefully as the other me slowly fades away, until there’s no one there.

Now is my moment. You can do this, Ashton Cornell.

I spring up from behind the bushes and rush onto the street.

“Carrie!”

She turns around, looking at me with a puzzled expression. I walk up to her and take her hands in mine. I look at my feet and take a deep breath.

“This can’t really wait till geography class,” I glance at her. She has an encouraging smile on her face. I breathe in again.

“Carrie, I-I like you. I have for a while now.”

I risk a glance at her again. She’s smiling even wider.

“I know.”

“You know?!”

She laughs. “You aren’t the most subtle, Ash.”

Wow. I guess it’s time to go die of embarrassment, then.

She prods my foot with her toe, making me look at her again.

“Don’t you want to ask me something, then?”

Ask her something? What would I want to ask her? I already told her how I feel; the only thing left to ask is-oh. Oh.

I look at her with wide eyes. She nods gently.

“Uhm, Carrie,” I stand up straighter, squeezing her hands. “Would you like to go out with me sometime?”

She reaches up and kisses my cheek. I just stare at her in shock.

“I’d love to.”

I smile widely, and I can’t help but laugh, and then she’s laughing too, and then we’re just a boy and a girl, holding hands and laughing under a full moon.

I look up at the sky, still grinning. The stars seem to wink down at me. I wink back. I don’t really know what happened, but I’ll keep their secret.

#romance #midnight #writing #story #fiction #time travel #oneshot #oc #moon #cute #longpost #dream #cliché

[barefoot-joker]

Yandere!Jeremiah Valeska X Reader One Shot Pt 4

Hello, guys! And welcome back tot he next installment of Yandere!Jeremiah! Once again this one is a tad bit longer so I do apologize if the story drags a bit. As always feedback is appreciated and I will see you in Part 5!

https://barefoot-joker.tumblr.com/post/182328341418/yanderejeremiah-valeska-x-reader-one-shot

https://barefoot-joker.tumblr.com/post/182409053588/yanderejeremiah-valeska-x-reader-oneshot-pt-2

https://barefoot-joker.tumblr.com/post/182862984808/yanderejeremiah-valeska-x-reader-one-shot-pt-3

https://barefoot-joker.tumblr.com/post/183462856853/yanderejeremiah-valeska-x-reader-one-shot-pt-5

https://barefoot-joker.tumblr.com/post/183601483818/yanderejeremiah-valeska-x-reader-oneshot-pt-6

https://barefoot-joker.tumblr.com/post/184215467078/yanderejeremiah-valeska-x-reader-oneshot-pt-7

https://barefoot-joker.tumblr.com/post/184513626468/yanderejeremiah-valeska-x-reader-oneshot-pt-7

https://barefoot-joker.tumblr.com/post/184712916978/yanderejeremiah-valeska-x-reader-oneshot-pt-7

https://barefoot-joker.tumblr.com/post/185001873563/yanderejeremiah-valeska-x-reader-one-shot-pt-7

https://barefoot-joker.tumblr.com/post/186623351048/yanderejeremiah-valeska-x-reader-one-shot

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Beep.

  Beep.

     Beep.

         Gulp.

I swallowed down my spit and fear as Jeremiah's hand came out of his jacket pocket, my eyes staring down a gun barrel. Bruce put his arm in front of me and I swore I saw the dark greenette's finger twitch on the trigger. "Jeremiah, you don't have to do this."

"Bruce, you don't understand. I need her! I want her! I love her! My life is like a joke without a punchline if she's not there! Y/n is mine!"

"I am not something to be owned, Jeremiah. Look, I care for you, I honestly do but what you're doing isn't right. You need to let me go and get help. I'll even go with you-"

I was interrupted by the gun safety being taken off, my new heart quickening its pace. "Y/n, I don't need help. My eyes are finally open. It's you who needs the assistance."

I gulped as Jeremiah's eyes stared me down, an emotion I couldn't decipher written in them. Out of nervous habit I held onto Bruce, frightened by my old friend's behavior. I heard the villain growl and turn his gun onto my protector, his teeth gritting behind his dark lips. "Think, Jeremiah. Don't do anything rash, please."

The clown before us just chuckled, it bringing a shiver down my spine. "I won't have to if you just hand her over."

"Never!"

"Then you leave me no choice."

Aiming his gun right for Bruce's heart I cried out, blocking us with my heart monitor. I cringed as the sound of glass shattering and hard plastic separating hit my ears, footsteps rushing towards us. "This wouldn't be so difficult if you'd just come with me, Y/n!"

I bit my lip as I could hear the desperation in his voice, it sounding so real. "GCPD! Put your weapon down and hands up, Mr. Valeska!"

"Jim!" I smiled as I realized the police were here, my chance of freedom still there.

"NO!"

I watched in horror as Jeremiah rushed towards me, pushing Bruce out of the way and grabbing me roughly. I struggled against him, Jim appearing before us with his gun raised. "Jeremiah, let go of Y/n!"

"Just leave us alone. Y/n, Ecco and I have so many preparations to finish and I need them to be perfect!"

I cringed as I felt his gun at my side, it cold through the fabric of my shirt. "Jeremiah, listen to them. Please!"

"Shh, dearest~"

"Now, Jeremiah!" Jim yelled.

I screamed when my captor fired a warning shot, his arm wrapping tighter around my waist. "Step any closer and I won't hesitate to shoot you in the head."

By now Bruce was by Jim's side, his face contorted with worry as we gazed at each other. "Drop the gun, Jeremiah. You don't need to to do this."

"Like I said before Bruce, she's mine. She saved me, gave me the chance to redeem myself. And now I'm thanking her for all that she's done."

I cringed as I felt his lips against my temple, the warmth surprising me. "No one will take her from me." He whispered in my ear.

As I tried not to make a bold decision I suddenly felt the two of us flying forwards due to Harvey, Jeremiah's gun sliding across the concrete and to Detective Gordon. Quickly Bruce grabbed me and moved us towards Jim, meanwhile Harvey handcuffed my "lover". The fedora wearing cop hauled the villain up, his lips slightly bleeding as he gazed at me. "Take him to the car, Harv."

Bullock nodded and lead the greenette away, his last words terrifying. "This isn't the last of me. I'll get you back, Y/n! And next time I'll make sure you never leave my side again!"

In fear and happiness I clutched Bruce's heavy black jacket, tears of sadness and joy running down my cheeks. "Shh, Y/n. I've got you. He won't come after you, I promise."

"Bruce, we should get her to the hospital to have a doctor look her over."

I didn't know my best friend's response but I felt his face in my hair as we swayed back and forth, the movement much calmer than any affections the beast gave me. I sobbed as I held Bruce tightly, afraid that this was all a dream. "I missed you so much, B! I was scared you'd never find me, that I'd be trapped with Jeremiah forever!"

"I would never let that happen, (Nickname). Now let's get you out of here and somewhere safe."

Gently he lifted me up bridal style, my heart monitor and fear left behind. Outside, I shivered as the nightly breeze gave me goosebumps while Bruce took me to the ambulance, setting me down carefully. "Please don't leave me, B."

"I won't. I promise."

I gave him a small smile as he sat next to my gurney, our hands holding tightly as if one of us was scared the other would fade away into nothingness. With that the doors slammed shut and my eyes closed from exhaustion of today's events, my mind wandering to dreamland.

Chains.

   Screaming.

        Laughter.

I shrieked as I struggled against the chains that bound me to the wall. The coldness of the metal around my wrists, ankles and neck sent goosebumps across my exposed flesh, tears spilling from my eyes. In front of me Jeremiah was laughing hysterically as he kissed me, his lips leaving acid like burns on my skin. "You're mine, sweetheart! Ha, ha, ha! No one can save you because their all dead!"

I awoke with a start, my chest heaving in air as I looked around. I was in a hospital, my clothes changed to a medical gown and my ears once more picking up beeping. Hands touched my shoulder and I flinched upon instinct, quickly turning to see a concerned Bruce. "Y/n, are you alright?"

I shook my head and curled into a ball. My dark haired friend sat on the edge of the bed, his thumb running lightly across my knuckles in an act of comfort. "Do you want to talk about it? Sometimes it's nice to get things off your chest."

I sighed but nodded.

{Flashback}

I hummed as I walked down the street from the hospital. After my encounter with Jeremiah in my room I hadn't really seen or heard from him which I considered a blessing. Bruce didn't know what had happened because he was already worried about me and I didn't need him stressing over Miah.

Walking along the sidewalk I thought about today's appointment. It wasn't too bad as it was just a bunch of tests to see how my heart was doing with my new medication. Although I was stuck in the hospital all day I didn't receive any results so I was sent home to get some rest. I was nervous about my results as lately I had been feeling weaker and losing weight faster, something everybody seemed to notice. Besides Bruce I usually confided in Jim and Selina but I haven't been able to contact her, which was an odd occurrence.

I just hope she's okay.

Heading inside my apartment building I headed to my abode around the corner, digging into my jacket pocket for my keys. Just as I had fished them out a hand wrapped around my mouth, preventing me from screaming anything above a muffle. Terrified I struggled against the person behind me, my heart racing in my chest.

Prick!

I froze as I felt a syringe leave my neck, my body becoming very sleepy. Slowly my world began to grow black and I fell limp into the person's arms. I tried to get a glimpse of who did this to me but their silhouette was covered by the light hanging from the ceiling and then my eyes closed.

When I woke up my vision was blurry and my head hurt. I grunted as I tried to sit up but found that my wrists and ankles were strapped down. Fearful I thrashed around and screamed, my chest rising up and down rapidly. As I struggled a door opened before me and a silhouette basked in the light. I froze when the person giggled and skipped towards me, my breath catching in my throat when I saw who it was. "E-Ecco?"

"Hiya, puddin!"

"Ecco, where am I? What's going on? Why am I tied up?"

"So many questions. But not to worry dear, you're in good hands!"

I watched as she went to a table next to where I lay, her gloved hands grabbing a washcloth and dipping it in a bucket. In the silence I examined my surroundings, seeing I was strapped to a gurney of sorts and my clothes were changed to a medical gown. Being lost in my thoughts I didn't notice Ecco return to my side but flinched when I felt the cool fabric on my forehead. "The doctor should be in shortly to begin your operation."

"O-operation?!"

"There's nothing to fear, sweetheart. Jeremiah was sure to find the best surgeon for this job!"

She gave me a chilling smile as she continued to wet my head. "Is she awake, Ecco?"

Both of us looked up to see Jeremiah standing there with another gentleman by his side, him being dressed in doctor's scrubs. "Clear as day, boss!"

I thrashed as he drew near, his gloved hand running up my exposed leg. "There's no need to struggle, dearest. I'm going to fix you."

"F-fix me?"

He nodded with a smile on his lips. "You've saved me so many times and now it's my turn to repay you. Ecco, bring in the donor."

She saluted and ran off but returned shortly after with a gurney, a body in black laying on top. My eyes widened when I realized who it was, those brown curls belonging to only one person.

"S-Selina? What's she doing here?"

Jeremiah chuckled and brushed some hair out of my face. "Don't you understand, Y/n? Your dear friend is going to be your heart donor."

Everything seemed to freeze as it all clicked.

I screamed as I kicked around, begging Selina to wake up and save us. I teared up as she didn't move, I realizing she was dead. "It's time."

The trio moved around me, I yelling at them to get away. Jeremiah and Ecco cooed sweet nothings at me as the random doctor placed a mask on my face, sweet gas entering it. I tried my best to not succumb but my lungs demanded air so I was forced to breathe in.

{End Flashback}

"Y/n..."

"Bruce, I-I was so scared. Seeing Selina laying there, her eyes glazed over, it's all my fault!"

My dark haired friend hugged me close. "None of this is your fault, Y/n. Don't blame yourself."

"Then why do I feel so guilty?"

"You're just afraid is all. But don't worry I'll keep you safe, (Nickname)."

I wrapped my arms around Bruce and held him tight, a small smile on my face as I knew his promise would be kept. "The doctor said you'd be able to leave today so I had Alfred go and grab some of your clothes. I thought that you'd want to get out of here as soon as possible."

"That would be nice."

Right on cue Alfred walked through the door with a plastic bag in his hand. "I am glad to see you awake, Miss Y/n. Master Bruce and I were worried."

"It's nice to see you, Alfred. How have you been?"

"Worried about you. We've been looking all over the place for you."

"I appreciate the effort, boys. Now if you wouldn't mind I'd like to change into something of my own."

They both chuckled and left to go into the hallway, allowing me to change in peace. Untying the handles on the bag I smiled when I saw what Alfred had selected.

{Flashback}

I smiled as I sat on the couch with Selina and Bruce at his house, all of my friends surrounding us. It was my 16th birthday and Bruce had decided to host me a surprise party. It was one of the greatest gifts he could ever give me besides his friendship but of course he sat a neatly wrapped package on my lap. "Bruce, you didn't have to! You've already done so much!"

"I know Y/n, but as soon as I saw this I instantly thought of you."

Curious I quickly unwrapped it, gasping at what it was. "Bruce..."

I looked up at him to see he had a smile. "Go on. Take it out."

Taking his suggestion, I gently pulled out the bright yellow dress with a white floral print spread over it. “It’s so beautiful. Thank you, Bruce!”

I embraced him close as the others clapped and cheered.

{End Flashback}

Oh, Alfred. You and your symbolic gestures.

Quickly undressing I was pleased to be in something other than a medical gown or the clothes Jeremiah had me wear, this dress being lightweight and soft to the touch. Gathering the clothes I neatly left them on the bed and went out into the hall to find Bruce and Alfred waiting. “Ready to go?”

I nodded. Bruce took my hand as we walked out of the hospital and towards his car, us kids in the back seat and Alfred driving. The ride back to Wayne Manor was a bit longer than I remembered but I smiled in content once we arrived, happy to be somewhere I recognized. Bruce led me inside as Alfred parked the car, I forgetting how homey the manor felt. “Do you want me to get you anything, Y/n?”

“No I’m fine, Bruce. You’ve done so much for me already.”

“That’s what friends are for!”

I chuckled at his eagerness. He really was a sweet boy. “I can show you to your room if you’d like.”

“I’d like that.”

He gestured for me to follow him as we walked up the stairs and down the hall, stopping about midway. “Here we are! If you need anything I’m right across the hall.”

“Thank you, Bruce. For all that you’ve done. How can I ever repay you?”

“It’s no problem, Y/n. Just seeing you safe and with a natural smile is all the payment I need.”

With that he walked out to leave me to my own devices.

That night after an excellent dinner with Alfred and Bruce I experienced another nightmare. I woke up screaming and clawing in bed, Bruce rushing in worried. “Y/n! Y/n, you’re okay! You’re safe, dear!”

I heaved in a breath as I realized who was holding me, my arms wrapping around his torso in a fearful grip. “It was horrible, Bruce! So horrible! J-Jeremiah came back for m-me and-Oh, Bruce!”

I broke down sobbing. It seemed no matter how hard I tried to get rid of my old friend he always came back in a worst form in my dreams. “(Nickname), I promise you he’s not going to get you. You’re safe here.”

I sniffled and Bruce rocked us back and forth, his movement calming my beating heart and allowing me to breathe through my tube. I was glad that I got to leave every other instrument of torture behind at the hospital but both the doctors and Bruce insisted I keep my breathing tube. “Shh. It’s alright, Y/n. I’m here.”

I know, Bruce. I know.

For the weeks that I spent with Bruce and Alfred I had my ups and downs. Every day my friend took me to do something to make up for lost time and every night he held me close when my demons came to get me. I began to notice that the more time I spent with him my heart would speed up and my stomach would churn, I smiling when I realized that I had fallen for my best friend. Cliche, I know. But it was bound to happen sometime.

One night while I sat in the study Bruce suggested we go out to dinner. I agreed and was told to dress up. I instantly went for the yellow dress he got me, it being one of my favorites to wear ever since I got out of the hospital. Coming down the stairs Bruce smiled at my outfit of choice, holding out his arm for me to take. “Shall we go, milady?”

I giggled. “Indeed, sweet prince.”

We walked outside and hopped in the car, Alfred driving us into town. “Right here is good, Alfred.”

The car slowed to a stop. “Shall I wait outside, Master Bruce?”

“No you can head back to the manor. Y/n and I will be able to get home ourselves.”

“Of course, Master Bruce.”

“Thank you, Alfred.”

“It’s my job, Miss Y/n.”

I gave him a peck to the cheek and got out, both of us waving as the butler drove off. “He is such a caring man.”

“I don’t know what I would do without him.”

“So...where are we headed?”

“It’s a surprise~”

“You and your surprises!”

He chuckled and we linked arms, walking down the sidewalk silently. I enjoyed this between us: our hearts seemingly beating as one, us just in the moment of bliss. I blushed. “Here we are! Jim took me to this place a while ago and I thought you’d enjoy it.”

I looked through the window to see the restaurant was a small one, a few couples scattered here and there inside. Bruce held open the door for me and then followed in, us taking a table by the front window. We ordered and talked, us laughing and smiling the whole 2 hours we stayed there.

After our delicious dinner Bruce and I walked around the city, him stopping us at a nearby park. “Y/n, I have had the most wonderful time tonight, something I haven’t had in years. When I’m with you the world just fades away and the sky seems to open up.”

“Bruce-”

“Y/n, ever since you’ve come to stay with me I’ve felt content, happy that you’re there. You make my world go round....I love you.”

Silence filled the void between us until I wrapped my arms around his neck and smiled. “I-I love you too, Bruce.”

We both slowly leaned in, our breath mingling before our lips met. My world seemed to melt and I began to see in color, my heart beating like a drum as fireworks went off in my head. Silently we pulled apart and looked each other in the eye, happiness surrounding us. Bruce gave a small laugh before nuzzling his head into my hair, my face in his jacket. His scent of peppermint was great as we rocked back and forth in a style of dance with no music, the moment perfect.

“Ah, don’t you just love romantic outings and young love?”

I froze and felt Bruce’s grip tighten around me as we both recognized that voice. “Why are you here? You’re supposed to be in Arkham!”

“So sorry to disappoint. However I need to break up this little “cute” moment.”

Stepping towards us, Jeremiah gave a big grin directed at me when Bruce turned and whispered in my ear to run. I nodded and was about to go but was stopped when I bumped into a chest behind me, the person wrapping their arms around me and holding a gun to my temple. I trembled as Jeremiah closed in on Bruce, smacking him in the face with his fist. I could only watch in horror as the greenette kept attacking my lover, his blue eyes glinting with malicious merriment. About halfway through the beating Bruce collapsed onto the pavement by Jeremiah pushing him, his eyes rolled into the back of his head as he lay there. “BRUCE!”

I tried to run to him but the person restraining me, most likely Ecco, held me in place. Satisfied, the villain turned to me as I glared him down. “Leave me alone, Valeska! I never want to see you again!”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that as it would conflict with my plan, darling.”

He reached his gloved hand up to caress my cheek but I turned away, him grabbing my chin roughly and facing it towards him. He grinned down at me with that god awful smile of his before leaning into whisper in my ear, “Today’s the big day~”

With that Ecco’s gun collided with the side of my head and I fell unconscious.

I groaned as I woke up, my head pounding hard. Looking around the room I was in it seemed deserted and dusty, stained glass windows allowing moonlight to drip in. Slowly standing I went to the door I had spotted but found it locked after I shook the doorknob a few times. Sighing, I put my back to the door and looked across the room to see a full length mirror reflecting what I was wearing, something completely different from what I was wearing before. Curious I stepped towards and froze when my eyes made a full scan of my body.

My yellow dress was gone and instead replaced with a baby blue full length dress, white lace flowers cascading down the skirt and bodice. The sleeves that reached my mid arm were transparent with white flowers near the bottom as well. I realized this was the fabric that Ecco was pleased with and this was the dress she had made. Trembling I touched the long see through white veil and my stomach dropped as I recalled Jeremiah’s words.

                                              Today was a big day.

                                       I was wearing a wedding dress.

#jeremiah valeska #jeremiah x reader #yandere jeremiah valeska #jeremiah valeska x reader #xreader #yanderexreader #yandere #yandere x reader #Gotham #gotham x reader #gotham tv show #gotham on FOX #gotham fanfiction #bruce wayne x reader #bruce wayne #ecco gotham #one shot #part 4

[canadian-buckbeaver]

What Is Mine

"Goodbye, Eddie" is whispered one night to Eddie, the only sign that his symbiote is moving on to the next host in line.

For whatever reason, Venom has left Eddie, leaving him broken and alone. Where once was company, there is nothing. Where there was once joy, there is only pain. Anne and Dan decide to take it upon themselves to not allow him to fall into the darkness alone again.

Even as he heals, Eddie discovers that the past is never truly far from him.

“GOODBYE, EDDIE.” The darkness whispered to him as it slowly closed in around him, the sudden silence deafening him, filling him with sudden fear.

“WAIT!” Eddie cried out, hand outstretched towards the voice.  “WAIT!  COME BACK! WHERE… HEY!”  He couldn’t move, couldn’t chase after them.  Something was wrapped tight around him, keeping him pinned and helpless as he felt the loneliness build.  His chest tightened, his throat closing shut.  Not now! He needed to move!  He struggled, trying to free himself from whatever was keeping him pinned.  He needed to give chase! Needed to…

The cheerful sounds of his alarm shattered the dream, pulling him back into reality.  He groaned, his eyes slowly blinking awake. His curtains were threadbare and full of holes, bathing the entire one-room apartment in harsh sunlight. Already the room was hot and stuffy, foretelling another hot and miserable day.  Slowly blinking awake, Eddie tried to reorient himself.  Sitting up, he looked around the room, trying to shake the last remains of the dream.  He wasn’t trapped, tied up and helpless, nor was he encased in darkness. But, despite the bright sunlight, this reality was just as cold and terrible as his dream.

He couldn’t stay here though.  He had made plans earlier in the week and he couldn’t back out of them now.

Eddie paused, hand on the doorknob for the little coffee shop where he had agreed to meet them.  He really didn’t want to be there.  It wasn’t their fault he knew.  Far from it.  His ex-fiancée and her new fiancé were fantastic people, far better friends than he deserved.  They had helped him when no one else would.  Anne sending little homemade meals to him, making sure that he had more than enough to eat, and Dan taking him on as a patient to avoid telling more people than he needed to about Venom and how this was a parasite that he didn’t want to get rid of.

But, as grateful as he was to them and all they did for him, these days all he just really wanted to be left alone.  To curl up on his broken and sagging couch or his thin bed and stare at the wall or roof, counting the number of ominous stains that littered his room.  These days there was no energy to even leave the apartment, let alone help him cross the room.  And that was fine by him usually.  He deserved the pain, he had much to atone for.  And if atoning meant that he stayed in his apartment, making sure that he didn’t make anything worse in the world by leaving it, than he knew what he needed to do.

How was it that they seemed to be able to sense that and invite him out on those days? Forcing him from his sanctuary… it was cruel, just as they were kind.

He couldn’t avoid them forever though.  If he didn’t meet them here, they would meet him at his little apartment.  And he couldn’t let them see that mess.

Taking a deep breath, steadying himself, he pulled open the door.  “Let’s just get this over with,” he whispered before mentally kicking himself.

Old habits die hard he supposed.

“Wow, Eddie,” Anne said as she rose to signal him over to the table where she and Dan were already seated.  “You look… really tired… and skinny.”  She was biting her lip in that familiar way that he knew.  She was worried about him.  “Are you eating properly?”

“You’re looking pale and sweaty too,” Dan told him, his eyes sweeping over him in a quick assessment, his arm wrapped around the back of Anne’s chair.  “I haven’t seen you this bad since Venom first took over your body.  You might need to go in for more tests.  Your hormones may be out of balance, trying to counteract… whatever you’re eating these days.” They all knew about Venom’s preferred diet.

He sighed softly. “You can say it.  Mrs. Chen already told me that I look like shit.”

“Shit is such a harsh word,” Dan told him, looking back to Anne.  “He looks…. What’s the word?”

Anne looked towards him.  “Unwell?” She offered.

“Yes.  That is perfect.  You look unwell Eddie.”

Anne was mixing up his coffee in the way he liked, and Dan was placing a small muffin on his plate. They were talking rapidly to one another, talking about various tests that they could do, and ones that won’t be too high of a frequency, or put him under too much pressure.

Numbly he wrapped his hands around the cup of coffee, savouring its warmth.  They were so kind to him.  Even after all the shit that he had put them through.  Anne losing her job at the firm when he had hacked her email, and Dan almost losing his license to practice when the board discovered Eddie’s personal connection to him. They had never given up on him.

“Guys…” he started out, “I’m fine.  Really I just need some time to myself is all.”

“And that’s bullshit,” Anne said, turning away from Dan.  Her eyes flashed with concern again.  “Is Venom feeding off of you too much again?  I can add more protein or potato to the dishes I suppose.”

Dan shook his head. “If you add any more red meat his veins will be clogged with cholesterol before he reaches his fortieth birthday.”  They continued to talk and offer suggestions back and forth.  Looking out for him and his health as always.

“Guys.” Eddie said finally, “guys.  It isn’t like that.  I’m not sick. Venom is gone.”

There was sudden silence at their table.  Anne and Dan, both stunned to silence, turned to look at him, their eyes widening in sudden understanding.

Anne was first to move.  Reaching across the table, she seized his hand and gently squeezed it. “Eddie.  I’m so sorry… I didn’t know.”  Dan reached across the table and squeezed his shoulder.  Silent but comforting.

“Thank you, you guys… it’s just hard to know that he’s gone for real this time.  No hibernation, no coming back.” He shook his head, pinching his nose as he closed his eyes.  “It reminds me of a breakup,” he finally admitted though he tried in vain to find a better word to describe what he felt.

“Did he say anything before he left?” Anne asked, her eyes still concerned and worried about him.  Dan was signalling for more coffee, still watching him.  Ready to jump in at a moment’s notice.

Slowly Eddie shook his head. He could still see the dark ooze of the alien leaving him, slowly crawling across his bed.  He could still feel the painful loneliness that had taken the place of the alien.  “He didn’t say a word.  Nothing leading up to him leaving either.  I thought… I thought that he was fine… maybe he was upset that I tried to control the number of people that we ate and killed?  I know he needs that chemical but I thought chocolate would be good enough.  He liked the taste and I liked the taste and it was better than humans…”  He was babbling again, talking too much.

The rich smell of fresh coffee interrupted his thoughts as the waitress refilled their cups. He stared down in the depths of the liquid.  Black coffee reminded him of the dark chocolate that was Venom’s favourite.

“No matter what happens or happened, we’re here for you Eddie.” A dainty pair of hands entered his vision, adding sugar and cream to his coffee, disrupting the memories. Anne smiled at him.  “We’re friends, Eddie.  You can lean on us.  No matter how long it takes.”

Numbly he looked at her and Dan before looking back into the mug of coffee, wrapping his hands around it.  They were so nice to him.

* * * * *

It took about a year before Eddie could say that he had made progress with his healing. But eventually the pain faded from sharp to numb, from numb to quiet.  There were still moments that he felt the pain, but he doubted that these moments would ever fully go away.  Venom had been such a huge part of his life, he would always have a part of him.

Eddie sat on his favourite park bench looking out at the duck pond.  It was a brisk and bright spring day, a small, cold, breeze blowing away the clouds in the sky.  The newscaster had said that the weather would stay at least until the end of the month and after that…

Well, even Eddie doubted that they could look that far into the future and see.  Especially with all the shit that was going on with climate change.  Perhaps he should write about that in his next project. A call to action.  A call to change.  

A revolution of the small people as Venom liked to say.  Shaking his head clear of Venom, Eddie returned to looking at the pond, watching as the ducks swam across the cool surface, gobbling at the weeds and crumbs that settled on the surface.  So engrossed in his watching, he missed seeing the pale, shaking figure slowly walk up to him.

“The… the ducks are swimming well today… aren’t they Eddie?” a familiar voice asked him.

Craning his head, Eddie saw one of the homeless men that lived around the park coming up to him. His clothes were dirty and torn, his face pale and shining with sweat.  He must be coming off a bender if he looked like that.  But Eddie Brock did not judge the poor and their hardships.  “They sure are.  Makes you hope that it is a sign that this weather is to stay.” He replied, looking out at the pond again.

The man, taking this as an invitation to sit down, settled on the opposite side of the bench as Eddie.  Not close enough to touch, but close enough to allow Eddie to see the finer details of the man.  The man had thin, pock-mark scarred skin, with deep wrinkles, almost like the man had aged rapidly within a short period of time.  A single mole almost completely covered one of his cheeks with brittle grey hair sprouting from it.  His eyes were clouded with white, clouding his vision along with his eyes’ original colour.  As they sat together, Eddie couldn’t help but smell him.  He smelled of sweat and dirt, old grease and piss.  It was a disgusting mixture and one that he hoped that he would never smell again.  Why did he have to be seated downwind of him?

“I never see you with anyone,” the man said suddenly, turning towards him.  “Don’t you have a special lady friend to show the ducks to? Or anyone?”

Eddie shook his head, thinking of Anne.  “The last ‘special lady friend’ is soon to be married to another.  A great guy actually, I can’t say anything bad about him and believe me, I’ve tried.” He chuckled at the thought.

The homeless man gave a bark of laughter, his white eyes never moving far from the ducks. Probably only partially blind or some sort of medical condition. “Isn’t that how things go?  They always seem to go for another.”

Shrugging his shoulders, Eddie turned his head back to the ducks, watching as they flapped and squawked to one another.  “I was pretty bad news at the time when we were together,” he admitted, “I’m glad that she found one that was able to give her what I couldn’t.  She deserves nothing but the best…”

“And you don’t?” was the curt and interrupting response.

“I never said that.” Eddie countered.  “I am man enough to admit that I am a work in progress.  I’ll look for my special someone once I’m in my final drafts.”

There was a snort. “Such a funny way of saying things… you’re right this is the Eddie Brock that we are talking to…” the man whispered to himself that Eddie chose to ignore.  He probably looked the same about a year ago, muttering and arguing with himself and Venom. “You’re the one and only Eddie Brock, how can you be less than perfect?” the man suddenly asked him.  “I know many people who would argue differently.  Of all the changes that you made, the men and corporations that you took down.”

Eddie gave a short laugh.  “Those are the people who know me only from television or through my articles, not me personally,” he said, folding his arms behind his head, relaxing.  

The man nodded. “Humble…” he whispered.  Just then a child ran, screaming up to the pond. The ruckus caused the ducks to startle and take flight.  “Like women… They always leave in the end…”

The man must have quite the history if he was comparing women to frightened fowl.  “Much like roommates,” Eddie muttered quietly to himself watching as the ducks flew off.

His comment was not unheard.  The homeless man slowly turned to look at him, filmed eyes peering at him. “Roommate?” he asked.

“Oh yeah.  We shared a little apartment for the longest time. Anyways, about a year ago my roommate left me in the middle of the night without any warning.” He said.  “No explanation or warnings… at least none that I could pick up on.  Though perhaps I was just too thick and I missed his signals.”

The man cocked his head, the blind eyes staring straight at him.  “Perhaps… perhaps there was something that he didn’t know how to say but needed to?” he offered.

Eddie shrugged his shoulders, momentarily unconcerned with how chatty the man was today.  He knew how the drugs worked on the people. They were always chatty when they were coming down off some sort of high.  And besides, he had forced himself to stop thinking about that night.  It was healthier for him.  “Probably…. But the past is in the past. Got to keep moving on with your own life and you do what you need to survive.  Even if does mean leaving them in the past, as painful or heartbreaking as that is.”

“Sounds like you were close to him…. your roommate.”

“Well, I call him my roommate.  He was my best friend, but we were closer than friends.” Eddie sighed the memories of Venom dancing around the edges of his memory.  “He truly was my everything in a way.  We were the best team.” He said softly.

The man froze at that, his eyes going wide and his body beginning to quiver.  He was trembling like a leaf in the wind as he muttered to himself, shaking his head.  “Team.. we… team… he said we… us…”

He looked away as the man fidgeted and spoke with himself, wrenching hard on his fingers.  If Eddie didn’t know any better, he would have guessed that he had given the wrong answer, triggered him somehow.

Perhaps it was time to get out of the way before the man truly lost it.  Heavens knew that he didn’t need another hospital bill to pay off.

Eddie quickly got up from the bench.  “Anyways, it was nice to see you again.  Maybe I’ll see you around.” He turned and began to walk briskly away.  He was more than a few paces away when he heard the guttural shout.

“NO!”

Black tendrils snapped into his vision, wrapping around his wrists and waist, ooze circling around his legs.  Slowly pulling back to the man.  He gaped in shock at the darkness, at Venom, and dumbly tried to pull away from them. “Wha… Venom! Let me go!”

The man’s eyes widened as he began to lose control of his body to the symbiote hiding deep within his flesh.  His body began to twitch as he attempted to regain his control.  “I’m sorry!” he cried out, “I’m so sorry!”  Slowly dark ooze bubbled and covered half of the man’s head, teeth sharpening and lengthening, and a single milk-white, cat-eye staring hard at his prize.

“EDDIE.”

Eddie dug his heels into the dirt, scrambling backwards as his hands racked for purchase on something, anything.  Bushes, tree roots, the garbage can.  Eventually, he grabbed one of the armrests of the bench, struggling to pull himself together.  This stopped him, at least for the moment.  “Venom!  Knock it off!”

Venom and the tendrils didn’t seem to care at the disruptance that they were causing.  They had been steadily pulling back Eddie towards him, ignoring the rest of the park.  That white eye staring at Eddie with a hunger that he hadn’t seen before…

And then he had grabbed the bench, stopping himself.  

With a growl, Venom summoned more tendrils to spring from the man’s body, wrapping around Eddie’s body. Individual fingers were slowly pried loose, ankles seized, hips snatched and squeezed, and his thighs stabilized.  With a hard yank, he pulled Eddie up and then towards him again.  

Venom was not playing around this round.

He was not risking Eddie’s escape.

“EDDIE.”

With a yelp, Eddie felt his body leave the stability of the ground, feeling trapped in Venom’s tendrils.  As that moment slowed, Eddie felt his heart skip a beat, excitement building in his nerves. This was Venom, his one and only true partner, what was he doing resisting?  Didn’t he spend the last year morning his loss?

Then Venom jerked his body towards him, causing Eddie to gasp in fear.  Venom had taken over more of the man, yet appeared to content to leave most of the human body exposed rather than the symbiote’s real form. The inky black tendrils held him suspended in front of the alien.  Right in front of those great teeth.  What was he planning?

Both the cat eye and human stared at him, slowly looking him over.  Taking him in. He felt like a morsel of food that was about to be devoured.  He gave a hard swallow, fear beginning to take over.  He had seen Venom eat more than one human, he had even helped him eat them before.  If he had misread Venom’s signs and the symbiote was pissed at him for whatever reason, he could disappear from the world without a trace.

His eyes squeezed shut and, involuntarily, he thought of Anne and Dan, wondering if they would miss him, or if they would consider it a burden lifted.

“MY EDDIE…”

The tendrils slowly lowered him almost to the ground. Just until his toes just brushed against the earth but leaving him hanging in front of the alien and the human’s body that he occupied.  Eddie’s instinct was to grip the arms in front of him, stabilizing himself as much as he could.  He feebly struggled, knowing that he was well and truly trapped, right where Venom wanted him.

“LOOK UP, EDDIE.” Came Venom’s demand.  Eddie shook his head dumbly, refusing to give the alien any satisfaction of seeing the fear in his eyes.  Refusing to give him the quick and easy alligator kill that he had taken part in so many times before.  He didn’t want his last moments to be filled with those teeth and how they felt as they punctured his skin.

Hands suddenly gripped his hips, pulling him tight against the man.  Chest to chest, hips to hips, it was hard to believe that Venom towered over Eddie in this form.

“THE CLOSER THE BETTER.”  One hand still wrapped around his hips, the other hand grabbed his chin, forcing his head up and towards the monster.  

The kiss was hard and demanding.  Lips clashed together, teeth clinking against one another.  Hungrily the man dived into the kiss, small noises escaping him as the kiss deepened.  The man’s tongue was in his mouth, seeming to taste Eddie, savouring the moment.  As Eddie gasped into the kiss, the hand released his chin and wrapped around his back, pulling him even closer.  Yet, as rough as it was, there was just something about the kiss…

Like coming home after a long day.

Coming to his senses, Eddie suddenly pushed the man away, wiping at his mouth with his free hand, trying to ignore the taste of old hamburger that now settled in his mouth.

His free hand…

The man stumbled backwards once Eddie had pushed him away, his mouth still open with shock at the sudden freedom.  It wouldn’t last long.  He stood, swaying on his feet for barely a second before he fell sideways, his eyes losing their sparkle, his skin already turning grey and cold.

He was dead before he hit the ground.

“Shit!” Eddie cried out, rushing to his side.  “Wake up! Hey! Someone! This man-”

The rest of his words were choked off as Venom applied gentle pressure to his vocal cords, silencing him. ‘THAT’S ENOUGH, EDDIE,’ Venom told him through their psychological bond. ‘THERE IS NOTHING MORE THAT WE CAN DO. ALL OF HIS MAJOR SYSTEMS HAD ALREADY SHUT DOWN BY THE TIME I FOUND HIM.’

“There has to be something that we can do!” Eddie managed to say before Venom silenced him again.

‘BESIDES, HE HAS SERVED HIS PURPOSE.’

The dark alien covered and encased Eddie within his body, tendrils wrapping tight around him, fusing him with the alien.  Fully formed, Venom ran from the park, ran from the body. Faster and faster he ran until their surroundings were nothing more than a blur.

It was when he had finished climbing one of the tallest towers, looking out over at the city that he loved, that he stopped running.  Crouching behind the handrails, mindful of Eddie’s fear of heights, he wrapped his arms around himself, wrapping them around where he knew that Eddie was held inside of his body.  He gave them a gentle squeeze, imagining instead that he was hugging the human in the flesh instead of through his own skin.

“MINE.” He growled, squeezing tighter.  “MINE.”

#veddie #symbrock #venom x eddie #eddie brock #venom #anne/dan #post breakup #no smut #eventural happy ending #marvel #getting back together #boys kissing #symbiote #transfer #rough kissing #very minor character death #death

[seokkgenie]

I Hate You [M]

Based on an anon request. 

Pairing: Sehun x Reader

Genre: enemies to lovers, smut

Words: 5.6k

You were one hundred percent convinced that the worst thing to ever happen to you was the existence of Oh Sehun.  

If looks could kill, the daggers you were shooting at him from across the room would have annihilated him. Not only was he flirting up a storm in your living room, he had the audacity to hit on your very own best friend slash roommate. You could practically see the hearts in her eyes as he smiled his perfect little smile that turned his stupid pretty eyes into crescents. You could hear his dumb deep voice laughing and his unnecessarily charming words sweeping her off her feet.

God, you hated Oh Sehun.

You hated how he was the biggest fucking moron that everyone fell in love with. You hated how he took it for granted, soaking in all the attention. You were pretty sure that there hadn’t been a single woman left at work that he hadn’t slept with, with the exception of you, of course. It was common knowledge that you hated his guts and that the feeling was mutual. It was inevitable really, given that the two of you were always at each other’s throats, trying to score the better project and to outperform each other. He was smart and he constantly asserted his intelligence which irked you more than his fuckboy ways ever could. You always felt like you were losing control when you were around him. The cool, collected, mature Y/n would take a backseat as soon he showed up and spoke, or ran his slender fingers through his fluffy black hair while he smirked and all you would want to do is run your own fingers through his thick locks and kiss that smirk off of his disgustingly handsome face.

You hated Oh Sehun. You hated how you couldn’t distinguish between hate and love anymore.

His eyes glazed through yours briefly, while your roommate was momentarily distracted by a text. He smirked at you, one side of his lips raised up, and he winked at you. You frowned more severely, while your heart rate increased rapidly. He turned his attention back to her and you couldn’t handle it anymore. You weren’t going to stand there as he made moves on your precious, innocent friend.

You walked towards them, beer bottle in your hand.  You called out to your friend, “Hey, Irene!” You decided to not acknowledge his presence and continued, without sparing him a glance, “I’m sorry about inviting so many people over. We just signed a deal with a big client, and we wanted to celebrate.”

“I love impromptu parties!” she replied, the joy evident in her tone. “You seem to be working with so many….interesting people.” She looked at Sehun while saying it.

He smiled and you scoffed, finally looking at him, “I don’t remember inviting you.” You said, narrowing your eyes at him.

“Y/n!” Irene said, clearly surprised at your lack of etiquette.

“It’s alright, babe.” Sehun said, smiling at her again. “I’m quite used to it. It’s kind of our thing, isn’t it, Y/n?”

You thought your heart would beat out of your chest. You had to mentally shake yourself to regain your senses. “If our thing is you being a dick and me putting you in your place.” You replied, the resolve surprisingly strong in your voice. You looked at Irene and pulled her along with you and when you were sure you were both out of his earshot, you explained the situation to her.

“Irene, that’s him. That’s the asshole from work that I’ve told you about.”

She looked surprised for a second, before replying, “That’s him? Wow. That’s the legendary, arrogant coworker that makes an appearance in almost every conversation that we ever have about your job?”

You nodded, “Which is why you need to stay away from him.”

“What if I don’t want to?” she asked, a small glint in her eyes.

“Are you crazy? All he wants is sex. I swear I’ve never seen him go out with anyone for more than a month.” You said, panicking.

“I like sex too, you know?” she said, and your eyes widened, unable to process what she was insinuating.

She burst out into her usual sonorous laughter and then placing her warm hand on your shoulder, she replied, “I’m kidding! Don’t look so offended. I would never sleep with him.”

You smiled, taking another sip of your beer, “Yeah, you wouldn’t want to catch any of those nasty diseases that he’s probably carrying.”

She replied, patting you on your cheek, “No, Y/n. It’s because you’re totally into him.”

You almost choked on your drink. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. The blasphemy of it shocked you to your core. Or, at least that’s what you made it seem like.

“Ew.” You replied, in between coughs. “Not in a million years.” You looked behind you and noticed that Sehun was talking to Jooyeon. She was an employee at your office and it was no secret that they had gone out several times before.

Irene sighed, “Look at you all jealous and in denial.” She smiled, tilting her head, “It’s cute. My baby is all grown up!” She hugged you and you try your best to pull away from her as she placed a kiss on your cheek.

“Stop it!” you whined, feigning annoyance at her excessive display of physical affection.

There was loud scream from the center of the room and everyone’s attention turned to the sofa on which Chanyeol, one of the more fun-loving employees, was stood, a drink in one hand and the remote to the music system in another. He yelled, clearly too drunk to care that it wasn’t his house or his speakers, “It’s time for some dancing!”

The apartment was then filled with loud music, so loud that you couldn’t think straight. Someone decided to dim the lights and the room started to seem lesser and lesser like your apartment and more and more like any dingy club that you hated to go to. From the corner of your eye, you could see that Sehun was no longer engrossed in a conversation. You had to strain your eyes due to the lack of illumination, but you could see him strutting towards you, and soon enough his tall stature was covering your own average build.

He stood next to you, but didn’t say anything. You looked towards the crowd that was forming in your living room, most of it drunk and dancing senselessly. It felt quite peculiar to see all these professionals that were usually so composed let loose and dance, some of them grinding on each other with absolutely no regard for rules or manners.

You shook your head, regret about agreeing to host the party filling you rapidly. It didn’t help that Sehun was standing next to you and you could feel him breathing and existing and owing to the alcohol in your bloodstream, you wanted to both- punch him and kiss him.

You could feel his eyes on you and you groaned, “What do you want?”

“I didn’t say anything.” He replied, shrugging.

“You’re staring at me creepily,” you replied, “Why?”

He was close enough for you to notice that he was grinning. “I know you would love nothing more than getting my attention. But, sorry, love, I’m afraid you’re just being delusional.” His emphasis on the word ‘love’ irked you. He wasn’t someone capable of that emotion. Not that it mattered to you, though. It really shouldn’t.

You rolled your eyes, “Just go away, okay? I really don’t want to argue with you right now.”

“We could do something else, you know?” he said and your head turned to meet his eyes so quickly that you almost got a whiplash. His comment wasn’t unusual but his tone made it obvious that he meant something else.

You hated it when Oh Sehun was being suggestive, his innuendos only confused you some more about what you wanted to do with this annoying, gorgeous specimen of a man.

He gestured towards the people dancing and raised his thick eyebrows at you, questioningly.

You rejected him quickly, “Why would I dance with you?”

“Why won’t you?” he asked.

“Because,” you start, raising your finger and pointing at him, “I know what your game is. I’m not going to fall for your silly fuckboy tricks.”

He opened his mouth in fake offense. “I’m hurt.”

“Fuck off.” You replied, unfazed, glaring at him.

Here’s another thing about Oh Sehun. He hardly ever showed any emotion and in the rare occasions that he did, you were left confused and lost about what you thought of him. Sure, you hated him. Of course, you loathed Oh Sehun but he made it very hard sometimes to not wonder whether it was him you actually disliked or the feelings that he stirred inside of you.

You still remember that day which still stands as the worst day of your adult life. Everything had come crashing down that day-including some walls that you had built around yourself. The greasy old Director had finally lost his mind and had gone further than just sexual remarks, you had almost lost your job for calling out his misbehavior, and your biggest presentation of the year that would have gotten you a promotion was conveniently handed over to none other than Oh Sehun.

You still remember how he had put his arms around you whispering to you that things would be okay, that you weren’t at fault. He had held you close and you had let him. His body had been warm, his voice soothing and he had seemed like a completely different person to you.

He had given a presentation that day, but contrary to everyone’s expectations, the slides had been about sexual harassment in the workplace. Safe to say, the clients weren’t happy, the bosses weren’t happy and the greasy director certainly wasn’t happy. A thorough investigation had then been underway, and you had been reinstated to your original positions while the director was fired.

It was still a legendary tale in the company. Oh Sehun was the man who single handedly helped rework the company policy about sexual harassment. To you, he was the guy who fought for you, alongside you, when everyone else was too afraid to and even though you hated him, you knew that day that maybe you had fallen in love with him.

Your attention was brought back to the party when he laughed. “You know where to find me, love.” He said and walked away. You really wished he wouldn’t tease you by calling you like that. It made you imagine things that you knew couldn’t happen between the two of you.

It was beyond your understanding why he thought he could walk up to you just to get a reaction out of you. He clearly didn’t seem to think much of it, you noticed. He began moving rhythmically to the music and you wished you could stop staring.

You spotted Jooyeon inching closer to him as she danced and before you could gauge the situation, she was dancing with him, their bodies so close to each other that you had to look away in disgust.

Ugh, you hated him.

Someone tapped on your shoulder, startling you and you turned around to meet the eyes of your friend Minseok. He smiled at your expression and said, “Hey, cool party, y/n.”

You groaned. “I’m constantly regretting my life choices.” He laughed at your predicament and you couldn’t help but smile back at him. Although he was a few years older than you and had more experience at work, you got along really well with him. He had been transferred to another department a few months back, but he was still a close friend who listened to you whine about work and understood you. He always made you feel better. The only thing about Minseok you didn’t understand was how this sweet and kind man could be friends with the likes of an asshole like Oh Sehun.

Minseok asked, “Do you want to dance?”

You replied instantly, “No.” You looked at Sehun and Jooyeon again.

Minseok caught your line of sight and smiled knowingly, “We don’t have to grind on each other, don’t worry.”

You shake your head at his attempt to make you feel at ease. “Why can’t they get a room? Nobody wants to see that!”

“Would you rather they have sex in your room?” he asked and you gasped at the horror of it. That’s right, this was your home. Who did Sehun think he was dancing provocatively with someone else.

No, wait. It doesn’t matter. You shut your eyes tightly, I hate him, I hate him. You repeated it like your own personal mantra.

“Y/n.” Minseok called, pulling you out of your trance.

“Hmm?” you simply responded.

“Come on! Let loose and have some fun!” He grabbed onto your wrist and pulled you towards the dancing crowd. You were too weak to resist him and had no choice but to follow along. He began dancing, smiling at you and mouthing, “Dance!”

You sighed, standing still in amidst the moving bodies. You shrugged and began to sway right to left along with the music. You really couldn’t dance, but that didn’t mean that you wouldn’t try and have fun. Besides, the one thing that alcohol helped you with was eliminating your over whelming self-consciousness. You could feel the alcohol that you had consumed kicking in, your body feeling less heavy and the room spinning. You had a slow metabolism, and like usual you had over- estimated how much alcohol you could actually take in and now you knew there would be another regret added to your already long list.

Minseok’s smile grew wider as you danced. You looked behind him to see your mortal enemy still dancing, but this time your eyes met and you saw his stoic, expressionless face looking at you like you had committed a crime. You turned around swiftly, making it obvious that you were ignoring him. You grabbed another bottle of beer that was placed on the table near you and gulped down a few times before Minseok was at your side, prying away the bottle.

“Woah, woah.” He said, keeping the bottle away from your reach. “I think you’ve had enough alcohol for tonight.”

You pouted, “My house, my rules.” You stated.

Minseok was stern. “You know what? I’ll let you have some more if you can walk all the way to the kitchen without falling down.”

You nodded briskly, accepting his challenge. “Easy.” You said, smirking.

You began your journey to the kitchen, the music still playing and the room still spinning. Minseok was following behind you closely, ready to help. As usual, Minseok was right and you stumbled, unable to walk straight. You bumped into an unaware coworker, who also seemed to be drunk enough to not move away. The contents of their drink was now all over your upper body. You could feel yourself falling down and you closed your eyes, waiting for the impact, but instead you felt warm hands hold you up. You opened your eyes to find yourself being propped up by Minseok.

He smiled, “Idiot, I told you so.”

You pouted some more. You hated it when someone proved you wrong. You suddenly felt the stickiness and the coolness of the wasted drink. Your shirt was clinging to your body and in your inebriated state, you tried to shake it off, eliciting laughter from Minseok.

“Do you want to clean up?” he asked.

You nodded and he continued, “Show me to your room. I’ll help you get there.”

His hand was still around your waist and you held onto his free hand for more support as you led him to your room which was right next to the kitchen. He closed the door behind him once you both were inside. The music was softer now and you plopped down on the bed. You hated being messy and even though you weren’t sober, you felt uncomfortable sitting down in soiled clothes.

“Help me.” You said, defeated. That’s another thing you didn’t like to say.

Minseok shook his head, “You never know when to stop every time you drink.” He moved towards your bathroom and walked in. You could hear the water running in the shower. He walked out again and helped you up. “Come on, let’s get you nice and sober now.”

You followed him into the bathroom but hesitated to get into the shower. “Go on,” he prompted.

You shook your head. “But…..”

“No buts.” He interrupted, pushing you in and placing you under the shower. Once you were settled, you heard Minseok walking away and closing the door behind him.

Before you could protest, water was hitting your face with such force that you had to close your eyes and gasp for air. Your hands instinctively covered your face and you rubbed your eyes. You felt like the alcohol was draining away from your system and you let the water do its job.

You groaned. You always lost control when you saw Sehun flirting around and he did it almost every day as if to purposely irk you. Once you felt like you were sober enough, you turned the shower off and stepped out. The clothes you had on were dripping and you covered yourself with a towel. You walked out to your room, leaving a trail of water in your path.

Minseok was sitting on the bed and once you were out, he asked, “Better?”

You nodded, pulling out sweatpants and a comfortable tee from your wardrobe. “I need to change.”

“Do you mind if I use your bathroom?” Minseok asked and you nodded again.

“Just be careful. It’s all wet and slippery in there,” you warned him.

Once he was inside, you changed your clothes and lied down on the bed, sighing. You knew you had to get your priorities straight. You shouldn’t let Oh Sehun affect you anymore. You knew you should feel nothing but hatred for him and you really shouldn’t care whom he danced with or slept around with. You should concentrate on beating him at work, instead of getting drunk, showing up with a hangover and ruining your chances at climbing the corporate ladder.

Minseok walked out and sat down at the edge of your bed facing you. “Will you be fine? You seem so out of it lately.” His tone seeped with worry and you felt bad for bothering him and ruining his night.

“I’m good.” You said and to lighten the mood, you added, “I’m very tired right now, so I’m going to have to kill you tomorrow for pulling that stunt In the shower.”

“You’re welcome.” He replied, cheekily.

“I could have fallen down and died. Not to mention, my clothes are completely ruined now and—“

“Oh, grow up! I do this all the time.” He said, scrunching his face in annoyance. “You don’t know the number of times I’ve had to physically drag Sehun all the way into the shower.”

You sighed at the mention of his name. You paused for a minute before saying, “I still don’t understand how you can be friends with him.”

“You know he isn’t a bad person. I don’t know why you guys fight all the time.”

“Because he has made it his life’s mission to piss me off.” You replied, frowning.

“Funny,” Minseok said, “He says the same thing.”

You scoffed in response.

“So much sexual tension.” Minseok commented. “You’re so in love with each other, it’s gross.”

You jump up, sitting on your knees.

“What did you just say?” you asked, offended and ready to beat him up.

Minseok raised in arms in defense, laughing and you sink back down, rubbing your temples. “My head hurts.”

“Get some sleep, y/n.” he said and you hum a yes in response. You closed your eyes, breathing softly and it wasn’t long until you were deep in sleep.

 You walked into the break room and poured yourself a piping hot cup of coffee. You sat down and sighed. It was a very bad decision to have a party on a Wednesday night and an even worse decision to get drunk knowing that you would have no motivation to get any work done the following day. It didn’t help that the company had decided to hand over the reins of the big project to you and Sehun. You had learnt, first thing in the morning that you’d have to work with him for the next few weeks.

You sipped on you coffee, staring out the window, thinking about how you would get through the coming month.

The door opening got your attention and you saw none other than Sehun enter the room, getting himself his usual pineapple drink from the vending machine. Neither of you spoke, but the air was thick with tension. You decided to be the bigger person and asked, “Did you get the memo from the CEO?”

He seemed startled that you had addressed him, but recovered quickly and replied, “Unfortunately.”

“How do we go about this?” you wondered out loud.

He walked towards you and sat down next to you. You gaped at him, leaning away from him. You could smell his stupidly addicting aftershave and it bothered you to no end.

“What? Tolerating each other for a month?” he asked, rhetorically. “You could always just let me do the job and stay out of it.”

“So you can phase me out of my chance at the promotion? No fucking way.” You deadpanned.

“You seem to be busy with other things anyway, love.” There was more venom in his voice than usual.

You looked at him quizzically. “What are you talking about?”

He didn’t offer an explanation. “I can’t work with you.” He stated.

You were overcome with anger, “Then, don’t do it. I can do this on my own.”

“Yeah, right.” He scoffed.

You narrowed your eyes at him, “Are you calling me incompetent?”

“I don’t know, am I?” he replied, frustrating you some more.

“What is your problem? I don’t want to work with you either, okay? But, I’m being a grown up about this situation. Can you stop being a baby about this?” you said, you voice raising in volume without you wanting it to.

“You know I hate you, right?” Sehun asked, his jaws clenched and his eyes dark.

You knew it all too well. But, he had never said that out loud before. It made it seem real somehow and you didn’t know it would bother you so much. You weren’t expecting his words to hurt you this much.

He continued, “I’ve hated you since the day I met you. You walked in wearing your clichéd black skirt and white top, with that goddamn determination on your face. Who do you think you are, walking around being smart and dedicated and making me feel threatened about my own fucking job?”

You were thoroughly confused with what he was saying, but he didn’t give you any time to interrupt him.

“And,” he took a deep breath, “why are you nice to everybody but me? You go about giving everyone that stupid smile that lights up your stupid face and all you do is frown at me. You’re so oblivious to how you make me feel when you stand up there confidently giving a presentation and you seem to not care that all I want to do when you have that cute little dumb pout on your mouth when you’re arguing with me is kiss you senseless and shut you up.”

“Sehun….” You trailed off.

“I can’t believe you slept with my best friend.” He said, his face now red and he seemed to be breathless.

“I-I-What?” you stuttered.

“Don’t even lie to me about it. I saw you go into your room with Minseok hyung.” He stated, as though he was accusing you.

You frowned at him, unable to formulate an answer. His rant had rendered you speechless and you were having a hard time processing everything. It was too overwhelming to concentrate on what he had confessed, so you decided to reply to his accusation.

“You know what?” you started and he looked at you. “I didn’t sleep with Minseok. But, even if I did, it’s none of your fucking business. What are you, my boyfriend? It’s totally okay for you to go round fucking a different girl every week, but I’m not allowed to?”

His expression softened and he looked at you with wide eyes. It was an expression that you had never seen before. He looked embarrassed, he looked like a deer caught in headlights. The weight of what he had said seemed to have come down upon him.

“For the record,” you continued, “I hate you, Oh Sehun. You’ve done nothing but make my life miserable. I used to be so rational. I don’t know what it is about you that makes me feel like a high school girl. Why do you have to be around me being so perfect and charming and annoying? Oh my god, you’re so annoying. What’s with your stupid smile, anyway? Why does it give me all these butterflies in my stomach even though I know that it’s directed at some other woman?”

You couldn’t continue your speech as you felt his lips crash into your own. He wasn’t gentle in any way, his tongue was pushing itself into your mouth almost immediately and you let it. You let your tongue mesh with his and you moaned into his mouth. He pulled away and looked at you, his eyes searching yours as he was panting. He pulled you up from your chair, after standing up himself.

“Shut up,” he said, placing his hands around your waist and kissing you roughly again.

Your hands wrapped themselves around his arms, digging into his skin. You moved closer to him, leaving no space between your bodies. His tongue was fighting for dominance and you gave it to him. He tasted like pineapple and mint.

You felt him getting aroused, his semi-hard dick was pressing into your stomach. As if by instinct, you put your palm over his crotch and rubbed through his pants. He groaned before pulling away. You smirked at the effect that you seemed to have on him.

All these years you had suppressed how much you wanted him and now that it was finally happening, you were finding it a little hard to believe.

You pushed him back into his chair and placed yourself on his lap, straddling him.

“Y/n.” he called, “What the fuck are you doing?”

“You need to shut up,” you replied, “Or do you want me to get off?”

“God, you’re always so dominating.” He complained, kissing the skin below your earlobe. Your skirt had ridden up your knees and his hand was rubbing your bare thighs. You knew that this simple action was getting you very wet.

You couldn’t wait anymore. You pulled at his zipper and he complied as you pulled his erection out. You could see that he wasn’t hard enough yet, although the head was glistening with his precum. You moved away from him and dropped down to your knees in front of him.

You wrapped your arms around his penis, stroking it slowly, eliciting a moan from Sehun. The sound egged you on and you brought your head down, sticking out your tongue and licking a strip across his member. He stiffened at the sudden contact and took him in. You used your tongue to graze the vein on his erection and as you bobbed your head, sucking him rhythmically, his dick hardened completely. You looked up at him. He watched you as you moved, straddling him again.

He whispered into your ear, “You don’t know how long I’ve been imagining this. Your mouth around my dick. God, y/n, I hate how you make me feel.”

He trailed kisses down your neck, to your chest, giving it a tight squeeze through your clothes. You wanted to tell him how you felt, you wanted to come clean about how he wasn’t the only one who had imagined it. But, you decided to show it to him, instead.

You pulled yourself up a little, grabbing onto his wide shoulders for support and his arms held onto your waist to support you. You pulled down your underwear as quickly as you could and tossed it onto the floor. You looked at him again and asked, “Do you have a condom?”

He looked at you, an amused expression on his face. He nodded and pulled out his wallet, handing it to you. You pulled out the condom and removed the latex from its cover. “I don’t want to catch whatever diseases that you’re carrying.” You muttered.

He laughed and said, “I can’t believe we’re having sex in the break room.”

“I’m sure you’ve done this before.” You replied, referring to his womanizing ways.

“Actually, no, I haven’t. It’s too risky, love. Anyone could walk in right now.”

Your eyes widened in realization. “Shit.” You replied.

“Yeah.” He said, laughing. “Who knew the boring, miss perfect y/n could be such a daredevil.”

“I don’t care.” You said, with hooded eyes. You held his erect member in your hands and rolled the condom around him. You positioned it to your entrance, rubbing it across your slit once. The contact with your clit made you moan and Sehun grabbed you closer as he slid into you. The stretch made you close your eyes in pleasure.

You started slow, moving up and down painfully slowly. He bucked his hips up and looking at his face, glistening with sweat and pleasure that was because of you, you couldn’t help but quicken your pace. His nails dug into your waist, and his mouth was leaving purple bruises across your exposed neck.

You moaned as you felt pressure building inside your abdomen. “I-I’m close.” You stated and he hummed against your neck.

“You’re so sexy, you know that?” he said softly, “You don’t know how good you look riding on my dick like this.”

His words seemed to help being you to the edge. Your saw white spots as your walls clenched around him. You head fell forward and rested on his shoulder and he helped you move against his dick, riding out your high. He groaned as he came into the confines of the condom, tilting his head back.

Both of you sat there, panting and unable to move from the aftereffect of the orgasms. Once you had caught your breath, you got up from his lap, his now flaccid member sliding out of you. You picked up your underwear and put it back on.

You watched as he pushed his member back in and pulled up his zipper. You just stood motionlessly, looking at the ground, biting your lip with uncertainty.

You had just had sex with Oh Sehun.

What were you supposed to do next?

You turned to walk away, wanting to think about what to do before confronting him. But, he caught hold of your hand and made you stay.

“Don’t run away.” He said. There was a tenderness in his voice that was hard to miss. You looked up at him. His hands intertwined with your own. “I hate it when you run away instead of discussing something.”

“What’s there to discuss?” you asked, defensively. You pulled your hands away from his “You got what you wanted.”

“What’s that?” he asked.

“You finally did it. You got me to sleep with you. You won. Now, you can gloat about it. There’s nothing else to discuss.” You stated, hoping that you were wrong, but you knew the chances of that being true were slim.

“What I wanted, y/n,” he started, grabbing your hands again and squeezing them, “is to tell you even though I hate you so fucking much, somewhere along the way, I began to like you.”

The most annoying thing about Oh Sehun was how he always seemed to catch you unguarded. He made you speechless. You could never predict what he was thinking or what he would do next. You didn’t like not being in control. You didn’t like not being able to decide how he made you feel.

“Y-you what?” you managed to ask.

“Do you want to go out with me tonight?” he asked. “I mean, if you feel the same way about me….”

You looked at him without replying. He looked nervous for some reason. You had never seen him nervous before.

“I’m not sure we can sit at a dinner table and have a meal without fighting with each other.” You stated and his expression changed. He was frowning now, his eyes became dull, as though he were sad.

You smiled, “But, we can try.”

He smiled hearing those words, his eyes turning into half-moons. You loved his stupid smile so much. You stood on your toes to place a chaste kiss on his lips.

“Don’t smile at me. It pisses me off how much I like it.” You stated and he laughed, grabbing you closer and hugging you.

“Get used to it.” He said and you scoffed. You smiled as you melted into his embrace, unsure of where your hatred for him stood but excited about what the future seemed to hold.

Masterlist

#exo imagine #sehun imagine #sehun smut #sehun angst #sehun fluff #oh sehun #exo sehun #exo smut #exo angst #exo fluff #sehun #sehun one shot #exo scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop angst #kpop smut #kpop fluff #kpop fanfiction #exo #xiumin fluff #minseok fluff #exo xiumin #exo minseok #kim minseok

[blacknovelist]

A Place to Be - BNHA Fic (Ch. 2)

Yeah, so, I’m still here. But before anyone asks why I took so long, the reason is I decided I wanted to finish writing all the chapters before I updated. Which also means that yes, this fic is technically finished! Except for the epilogue, but let’s call that technicalities and move on. I’ll be posting once a day until it’s finished (I’d like to go over the two last chapters since I only just did ‘em), so it shouldn’t take longer than half a week at this rate. This chapter was hard tho since it’s like, the bridge between the first chapter and the stuff I actually wanted to write? Honestly, I’m still not sure how I feel about the way I wrote Hisashi, haha. In the end, the plot i went with was different from the original plot I mapped out (as fond as I was of it), so I had to make quite a few changes.

This is for all you guys going into the reviews and yelling at me to come back and finish this already. ;D 

Thank you @curiousbluepencil for helping me out with the first draft, and thanks @guardianlioness for being the wonderful enabler you always are with fics and Dad Might (and for reading over this chapter and the next one too, ahaha)

I did make some changes to the first chapter, mostly towards the end, so you should maybe read it first!! If you haven't already, that is.

[AO3] [ffnet]

[Ch. 1] [Ch. 2] [Ch. 3] [Ch. 4] [Epilogue]

Chapter 2: Event Horizon

A point of no return.

It all started with a knock on the door.

Memories of a surprise cleaning inspection from Aizawa sprang to mind, and everyone flew into panic as Toshinori went to answer it. Iida gathered all the dishes and passed them to Uraraka, who lightly hurled them into the sink where Shouji got to work; Sero yanked a stray rubber chicken off one of the light fixtures while Kaminari and Mineta swept up abandoned papers; Tokoyami and Dark Shadow quickly shoved stray chairs back into order at the table; the rest got out of the way and tried to act as natural as possible.

As a result, when the door swung open to reveal a rather unassuming and unfamiliar man rather than their homeroom teacher, the only thing approaching out of place in the dorm was the duo sitting upside-down on the couches playing video games.

“Why, good afternoon!” The stranger beamed. He bowed, almost too deep for his casual greeting. “I, ah, it’s nice to meet you. My name is Midoriya Hisashi. My son is a student here, and since I’m back in Japan for a bit I thought I should drop by, maybe take a look at the school while I’m at it. I was told he is living here right now?”

Toshinori did an admirable job of repressing his own shock and covering the way Class 1-A collectively froze by returning the bow and replying, in entirely too loud and exuberant a voice, “Hello, Midoriya-san!” Stepping towards his students to allow the man in, he eyed the jacket slung over Hisashi’s arm and the papers sticking out of the pocket. “My name is To- ahem, Yagi Toshinori. You likely knew me as All Might previously but please, call me Yagi. It’s nice to meet you as well.”

“Thank you, Yagi-san.” The smile on Hisashi’s face didn’t change as he came in, shed his shoes, and bowed again. “I apologize for my sudden appearance today, but I was hoping to be a surprise and to perhaps learn a little bit more about what my son’s life at UA is like. I hope that isn’t a problem.”

“Not at all!”

The class shared a look. Towards the back of the room, Kirishima and Iida barely managed to catch Izuku before his legs gave out completely.

Izuku wasn’t really sure how he was supposed to feel about all this.

Lgoically, he knew he should feel something. Anger, maybe, or sadness. Possibly even joy? But as the man claiming to be his father bustled towards him, all he could really muster was unease, confusion, and a deep instinctive wariness honed through a single year of hero training. The “why?"s and "what for?"s piled up, the cumulation of years spent wondering and wondering and wondering. He struggled to breathe normally past the thud of his heart in his throat, and his head felt like it was going to burst.

But there were no tears as Hisashi came to him, no heartfelt reunion hugs, no heavy explanations and promises to try better - there’s just two hands on his shoulders, a brief hug, a glance at his face and a strategic turn to his classmates.

"I’m only here for the afternoon, I’m afraid. It’s not much, but it should ample time to get to know about the school life,” he’d said earlier, a knowing smile on his face. “I’ll give you some time. Don’t worry, my son. Go.”

Izuku was all too ready to take the escape offered and stay out of the way for as long as he could. His friends and Toshinori ‘distracted’ Hisashi until he was ready to come out, and he made a note to treat them later as thanks.

Still, this was something he’d been waiting years for, and Izuku was nothing if not opportunistic when he wanted to be. So, the time not spent thinking was used watching as the man hovered over shoulders like it was his sworn duty, and slowly but surely Izuku’s mental notebook filled with details about his father that he hadn’t gotten from his mother before.

A handful of things Izuku matched up with his own, like the way Hisashi mumbled observations and ideas, fiddled with his hands, had the faintest collection of freckles over his nose, and liked holding his bottom lip whenever deep in thought. A few traits were entirely Hisashi’s own, like the fact that he seemed to have no filter but enough tact to either stop talking or apologize, liked jogging or biking in his free time, and was blindingly good at talking to people.

While interesting, it didn’t really help Izuku get to know his father as a person. Hisashi was a silver tongue - though he seemed to get along with most of the class, questions about his job or hobbies were answered vaguely (what was so special about “fiddle names”? They’d probably never know), and he refused to elaborate on his vanishing act past “business trips”. The deeper questions piled up in Izuku’s head were given the promise of “in private” and “I’ll explain later”, when Izuku finally got the chance to talk to him about it. If he didn’t know any better, he would’ve thought the man had only been gone a few months or a couple years.

“Maybe he isn’t sure how to deal with the fact that he’s here now, so he’s acting like nothing’s changed,” Kaminari suggested after overhearing Izuku’s thoughts. He’d made his escape from Hisashi’s endless curiosity when the man had been distracted by Sato. “I’m pretty sure it’s a psychology thing. He’ll talk to you properly and figure it out eventually.”

“I hope he figures it out soon, because the fact that he keeps talking to us instead of you is getting kind of awkward,” Jirou said, frowning. “ Kouda disappeared the moment your dad turned his way. Bakugou and Todoroki have this look on their faces. Everyone knows why Bakugou’s like that, but nobody wants to find out why Todoroki of all people looks like that too. I don’t know how much more we can take of this.”

The end result was that, by the time Toshinori ushered them towards the gym to meet with Aizawa again, all they knew about Midoriya Hisashi was that he liked ramen, jumped from subject to subject like a gold medalist, and a half dozen other arbitrary details no one knew what to do with. Izuku couldn’t help glancing back at him as they walked, mind still swirling with everything he hadn’t been able to ask earlier.

He wondered if he really wanted to know the answers anymore.

Three hours, six explanations and two-and-a-half battlefield shouting matches later, class 1-A finally dragged themselves back out into the world. Though Aizawa had left them under Toshinori’s supervision an hour ago to finish “important” paperwork, the constant questions and requests for demonstrations lobbed at them had kept them until the sun streaked the clouds and sky a myriad of dusty dark blues and rapidly fading orange-pinks.

“That was incredibly enlightening,” Hisashi said, appearing just as chipper as when he walked through the heights alliance doors earlier. His lips curled into a grin like he’d solved some incredible puzzle that had been plaguing him the whole week.

He lingered towards the back with Izuku as Toshinori pushed forwards to check on the others, waited as the teacher passed his son with a silent question and a bobbed head, and stepped closer.

“Izuku.” Hisashi watched as Izuku leapt a foot into the air, delirious training mumbles interrupted, and couldn’t hide his chuckles. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. But I was wondering if I could talk to you before we head back.”

Izuku hesitated, tried and failed to ignore the sweat seeping into his shirt, the dull burn of a long workout in his bones, the hesitation. “Not right now. It shouldn’t take long to go back and change,” he said in lieu of the no on his tongue. “Let me run back with everyone to drop my stuff off.”

“I won’t keep you forever. It’s already late, I need to get going soon.”

“Can you just tell me on the way instead? I’d rather not stay in these clothes any longer than I have to.”

“It’s important, yes, but it’s also private,” Hisashi said, a frown making itself known. When he took a step, Izuku matched it with two more. “Come on, my son. I promise it won’t take long at all.”

Neither noticed that they’d stopped walking, that the rest of them were waiting and watching.

“Well, I-”

“Midoriya-san,” Iida spoke up. “I personally assure you it won’t take long at all for us to return to the dorms and make ourselves more presentable, and none of us would dare think of invading your privacy by listening in on your conversation if you chose to speak to him on our way. If you have any concerns you need to share with your son, please don’t let us be in your way!”

Jirou coughed, and nodded.

Uraraka gave a light laugh. “Besides, I bet Deku’s feeling as dead on his feet as we are!”

Hisashi’s frown deepened. “It’s partially my fault for losing track of time, I suppose.” He nodded. “But I’m already pushing my schedule by still being here. I know what a workout feels like, thank you. I’m sure you want to rest and I’m sorry, but this is urgent.”

“Why not come back another day, even just for a bit?” Izuku’s brow furrowed. “If… if it’s that important you tell me this, I mean. I know you’re busy and that’s why you could only spare an afternoon, but I don’t even know if I can stay on my feet for much longer. Better to pay more attention if I need to hear it, right? Or you could call, while you’re still in Japan-”

“It really won’t take so long, and it’s too important for a phone call,” Hisashi bit out. They were all too tired for this back and forth arguing, really. “It can’t wait, so-”

“Hey, you and shitty Deku aren’t the only ones who need to be going somewhere, you know!” Bakugou snarled.

“Curfew will begin soon, and if we need to be out after that with reason, we’re required to stick together,” Todoroki said. A bold-faced lie. “At that point, we wouldn’t really have a choice about privacy. Either tell him on the way, or tell him at the dorms.”

“I don’t have time, and we’re already wasting more of it talking about this.” He stormed forward, and the class surged.

“You’re the one insisting on running off when we could have finished back home already-”

“If you could just reconsider-”

“Midoriya obviously doesn’t want to talk to you right now-”

“You might be his father, but he doesn’t have to go anywhere-”

“Take a hint, you-”

Sparks built up between his teeth, tickling his gums. “He’s my son,” Hisashi snapped. “And I can ask him to talk to me if I want him to, so back off!”

All but one froze at the flames that sprouted from his lips. It chased the dark and chill of night away for only a moment, leaving nothing but moonlight to illuminate the surprised faces of Hisashi Midoriya and Class 1-A.

#boku no hero academia #bnha #my hero academia #mha #bnha fic #blacknovelist writes #dorm life series #team 1a #toshinori #hisashi midoriya #anywayy im gonna spend the next half a day distracting myself from noticing all my glaring mistakes and resisting the urge to post everythi #its a good thing i've got homework i need to do anyway ahaha #tho if there are any actual mistakes/problems w this please let me know #ksjfd;ljsaf i hit post on ao3 before i was emotionally ready so here i go

[fitocracy]

Increasing metabolism?

Coach Chuck  posting with us today to drop some knowledge on the topic of metabolism.

The question “how to increase one’s metabolism” came up in the context of a discussion with someone who felt that their calorie goal was far too low to consistently lose weight.  That’s something that that many people (me included) often face. It’s more of an issue for women and shorter men, and unfortunately, shorter women have the worst of it. And it sucks. If you work a desk job and don’t get in much activity during the day, you may need to hit a calorie goal as low as bodyweight x 8. Having faced this myself, I know how badly that sucks. It’s terrible and it feels like suffering, and because of that, it’s not sustainable. Heck, I’ve seen cases where someone needs to go even lower, toward 6-7 x bodyweight. Please never do that on your own without guidance from a professional. So….what do we do about that?

Measuring your metabolism

If you were curious about your metabolism and wanted to get an idea of your calorie needs per day, there are lots of ways to do this. You can use a calculator that’s based on statistics and formulas (for example, https://tdeecalculator.net/ ), but like most statistic derived formulas, they are only estimations and of specious accuracy. If you wanted to get a more accurate measure there are some medical tests that you can have done. These aren’t without cost unless your healthcare covers them. Things like DEXA, a Bod Pod or an RMR breath test. I had both a Bod Pod and RMR test in August 2016. Below are my results. What this showed me was that if I just sat at my desk job all day, and didn’t move around often, that even with ~3 days of lifting weights per week, my maintenance calories were around 2100. As you may know, I don’t swear on the blog often, but holy shit that’s low for someone that’s 6ft 2in and usually around 220lbs. So if I want to lose weight, that means I have to choose between increasing my metabolism or eating at a super low-calorie amount.

Increasing Your Metabolism

Things you can’t control

When it comes to your metabolism, there are some factors that are simply beyond your control and the only thing that you can change in regard to them is your perception.

These uncontrollable factors are your genetics, your biological sex, your age, and your height. All of these matter for your metabolism.

Metabolism differences can be simplified as spendthrift vs thrifty. When we see someone that can eat whatever they like, are at what appears to us as a healthy body composition, and not gain weight, this seems unfair to us. But it’s possible that this person is genetically different in that when they take in extra calories, their body burns them off and/or changes their appetite in response. So if they go and grab a burger and fries for lunch, they are going to be fidgeting, bouncing around, and feeling warmer. They are burning those calories off rapidly. And they may only have a smaller meal later in the day…and thus maintaining calorie balance.

For me (and I’m guessing you, if you are reading this), if I went to 5 Guys (or whatever local burger place you have) for a burger and fries, I’d feel sluggish all afternoon, not want to move, and then still eat my normal sized dinner….and then be out of calorie balance.

Yeah, that’s not fair, is it? But comparison is the thief of joy. It wasn’t until I accepted this fact…that it IS unfair, that I was able to refocus my energy on the things that I *COULD* change.

Things you can control

OK, so you’ve accepted that there are things that you can’t control and that your time and energy are better spent on the things that you can control. Good for you!

Those things that contribute to your metabolism, that are within your control, are things like the amount of muscle that you have, the amount of body fat that you have, your diet and food choices, your stress and how you deal with it, your exercise activity levels, and lastly, your non-exercise activity levels.

Muscle/Fat Amounts

As far as amounts of muscle and body fat, both muscle and fat tissues require energy. You’ll see crazy claims from quacks on talk shows stating that muscle burns 50 times more calories than fat! Or crap like fat doesn’t burn calories! Wrong wrong wrong.

Muscle’s metabolic rate per day is about 6 calories per pound per day, fat is about 2 calories per pound per day. Brain tissue burns 109 calories per pound per day. So work on reducing your body fat, increasing your muscle mass, and getting a bigger brain.

( Reference: http://www.bodyrecomposition.com/research-review/dissecting-the-energy-needs-of-the-body-research-review.html/ )

Diet and Food Choices

One aspect that is most likely overlooked when weight loss is simplified to “eat less, move more” is the importance of your diet’s structure and your food choices.

Food choices matter because foods are processed differently by the body, specifically what the “cost” of digestion is. For example, with calories being equal in both cases, if you eat a higher protein diet, your calories burned side of the equation would be higher compared to eating the standard American diet.

Prioritizing whole foods with lots of lean protein sources, vegetables and fruits will help this aspect tremendously.

Secondly, when your calories get *too* low, your body may lower your non-exercise activity (more on that below).

It may be necessary to take scheduled diet breaks, and there are a few ways to do this. You could spend X number of weeks in a calorie deficit, and then take a 1-2 week break at “maintenance calories” to allow your hormones to normalize (as being in a calorie deficit for too long can throw things out of whack). I put X in there, as it really depends on the amount of fat you carry. The higher your body fat%, the longer you can go without a break.

You can also have higher calorie days around your strenuous workouts, and lower calorie days around your rest days. I’ve tried this before but it’s honestly a hassle to me, and I prefer to make things as easy as possible.

Stress Management

We often have this notion of what stress means, but it’s basically everything, both internal and external forces that act on us. Eating at a calorie deficit is a stress. Exercise is a stress (stress can be positive too). Watching the news is a stress. Too much caffeine is a stress, too much sugar is a stress. Even things we might not think of, like noise pollution, artificial light.

So what can we do to manage our stress?

Check out the free trial of the app Headspace. It’s an easy way to get into meditation as a stress relief tool.

Try to reduce some of the stressors when you can, so getting out of artificial light, cutting back on caffeine and sugar where possible.

Spend some time outside, in nature. Or at least get some sunshine.

Try some breathing techniques. Here’s a simple one. Push your tongue to the roof of your mouth really hard and hold it there. Close your eyes. Focus on that, and take big deep breaths. Do that for 10 seconds.

If possible, break your work down into 25-minute chunks, followed by a short break. Use a timer or timer app. This is called the Pomodoro Technique.

Bookend your day with rituals. By starting and ending your day the same way, every single day, no exceptions, you bring a sense of order to your life.

Lastly, and most importantly (in my opinion): physical contact with another person or a pet. Hugs, not drugs, mmkay?

Exercise and Nonexercise Activity

Before I get into the details here, I want to caution you to not view exercise as a way to burn calories. Instead, I’d ask that you try to view exercise with the lens of how it positively adds to your life: it makes you feel better, helps you relieve stress, makes you stronger, makes you look better nekkid, etc.

So with that said, exercise here means anything that you schedule like weight lifting, running, sports, etc. Anything that estimates your calories burned likely way overestimates calories burned, so much so that I don’t recommend you adjust your weight loss calorie goals based on exercise.

For weight loss, 2 weights/resistance workouts and taking a brisk walk of 20-30 mins after a meal is a great place to get started. But don’t view it as burning calories, look for what it positively adds to your life.

The other side of the coin is NEAT or nonexercise active thermogenesis. This is a fancy-pants way of saying moving your body around that isn’t the aforementioned scheduled exercise. That’s it. That means walking around from place to place, tapping your feet, fidgeting, etc.

I like using a FitBit for this, not because 10,000 steps is some laudable goal, but because when I don’t actively make myself get up and move around, it shows me that I barely move 2000 steps due to being at a computer for my livelihood so many hours per day.

To increase your NEAT, some things you can try are:

If possible, switch to a desk that does standing and sitting, not just standing OR sitting.

Take an active break every 30 minutes, meaning just walk around, get something to drink, use the bathroom, etc.

Take a walk after meals. If you can’t do that after every meal, make it a point to take a 15-minute walk after at least *one* meal.

Any time you make a phone call, walk around, don’t stay seated. Worst case scenario, at least stand up. Take the stairs instead of the elevator.

Park farther away in the parking lot.

One last thing to mention in regard to NEAT, watch out for cases where you have a particularly grueling schedule exercise session, and that you feel so beat up afterward that you just want to lay around. This can negatively impact your ability and desire to be as active as you would normally be.

Chuck’s Example and Bite-Sized Tips

OK so to wrap this up, I’d like to provide my own example of how I am dealing with my low resting metabolic rate. Like I mentioned earlier, if I don’t pay attention to how much I’m moving around, I will barely crack 2k steps. That’s horrible. So using the suggestions I gave above, I aim for 8-10k steps. I do some form of scheduled exercise 7 days a week, but a few of those days are active rest like dynamic stretching and yoga so it barely accounts for 15 minutes of my time.

Because my FitBit reminds, I get up and move at least 250 steps every hour or more. I take phone calls standing/pacing, I never sit unless it’s required.

Those were all changes that were not easy but were much easier than the difficulty in lower calories below what I was comfortable doing. If I were to go back to being an active couch potato (meaning I had 3 hours of weightlifting a week…and nothing else), then losing weight for me would mean a really low-calorie goal. No thank you.

As a result of these changes, I’d estimate my maintenance calories much closer to ~2800, which is lots more manageable.

For your own changes, look for the things that would be the easiest to change first, and let those small changes add up over time!

( If you’d like to train with Chuck or if you have more questions, his latest coaching group, Extreme Fat Loss , is starting up soon.)