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#I’m actually curious in the responses and will probably be reading all the tags lol
hamletthedane · 1 month
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Reblog and put in the tags what your current career/degree is* vs the career/degree that, in retrospect, you should have gone into, knowing what you now know about yourself.
(This is NOT your dream job (who dreams of labor lol), but rather the career that your 18yo self didn’t know to explore/wasn’t encouraged to choose)
* please be as vague as needed so as not to doxx yourself 🙏 internet safety first always
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fansplaining · 2 years
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You can make bookmark collections on AO3, but they're less visible since they don't show up on a work, only on a bookmark.
Hello anon! Thanks so much for this message. This is Elizabeth, and for other folks’ context, this is in response to our last AMA, where a listener wrote in to complain about the current (mis)use of the "Collections" feature on the AO3.
So! I'm actually poking around and can't actually see the functionality you're describing. When I go into one of my bookmarks, I see these fields:
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As far as I can tell—and posting here so folks can please correct me if I misunderstand it, I did read through a fair bit of the FAQ—this is just a shortcut to put any of your bookmarked fics into regularly created collections, which still leads to what OP was complaining about. From what I can see, you can’t make a collection within bookmarks? You could make a “collection” of sorts via bookmarking tags (it’s clear tons of people are doing this, based on the tags like “Faves” or whatever). Again, I could absolutely be missing something...
The question about user intent/desire versus the site’s UX/UI remains; I’m thinking again of the comparison we made in the ep to playlists, and how you want other people to see your playlists (probably? lol I assume) but the artists on Spotify or whatever don’t have all these randos’ playlists in a big prominent list along with the other metadata about their work. So many folks appear to be using both bookmarks and collections to save and catalogue for personal use—I’m curious how many people are actually trying to broadcast those lists. 🤔
ANYWAY please let me know if I (and Flourish, who also did some poking around with me) fundamentally don’t get what’s being described here. I’d actually like to make a collection of bookmarks! I just don’t want to put them in a capital-C Collection........
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9 people you’d like to know better
I was tagged bu @bavariansugarcookie (thanks you!)
To be perfectly honest I was nervous about this because…. I think most of the time it’s for the purpose of bonding over common interests… but if I answer the questions honestly I often come up with random niche things, or even things that are well known in my country but not to people outside of it, and it’s often expected that your response will be something, well, that USA-Americans will have at least heard of (or can find with a quick search if they’re interested in it). So often I will end up talking about a book that wasn’t even translated in English and hear crickets. Or a lot of the music I listen to ends up being small local stuff or random youtube instrumental playlist I put on as background music while writing / drawing instead of a cool song people will know… Like, genuinely, what do you do about these memes if you response is something weird no-one will know? Do you just go for the closest answer where people will get the reference? Especially if you’re not USA-American or if you have other roots? (genuinely curious! you’re welcome to answer in the comments, just don’t reblog pls).
So. Sorry I’ll probably over-explain and speak of things no one really cares about…
1. 3 ships: sheith, Ineffable Husbands, Imodna
2. first ever ship: Lol, I’m not even sure what that means. I think the first (non canon) ship I was invested in was the main characters from a Belgian comic series called “Les tuniques bleues” ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Les_Tuniques_Bleues). They kept acting as if they didn’t like each other while CLEARLY caring a whole lot and saving each other’s lives and I had a lot of feels about it that I could not really explain! Like I started reading this when I was like, 10, until high-school lol. I had no words to put on those feelings, and no idea of the concept of shipping but now I can quite confidently say that I did ship them lol.
But idk. I also liked Leïla and Han in Star Wars as a kid for example. It’s hard to pin, really.
If you want something you’re more likely to know, and from a time I was in fandom, Kyo and Tohru in Fruitsbaket? (but I was not in the English side of fandom so ships were not such a big deal, even here for a shojo that had a love triangle lol). If you want more like, non-canon ships you’d have both Nana in, well, Nana (by Ai Yazawa).
If you want the first ship where I actually looked for fan content, then probably L x Light in Death Note ?
And then the first ship I actually got involved with (English speaking) fandom was sheith.
But tbh while I realized—late—that I always had ships, I don’t always care about ships in the stories I like.  I’m just as much likely to get invested in platonic relationships, friends, found families, or actual families.
3. last song: see, after going to the movies (see next question), we went to grab a beer and there was live music band. They did some classic songs (the first one was “Don’t Worry Be Happy”, and I remember Toxic and Hotel California), but mostly it was original songs they have composed. They do have an online presence and I thought about sharing a clip of one of the songs they played, then I remembered it’s a small local group and people on the internet are weird and creepy  (and I mean ants just as much or even more than your regular creep) so… 🤷 Ask me in dms if you’re a moot and interested I guess.
4. last movie: went to see Everything Everywhere All at Once for the 2nd time tonight. It was great.
5. currently reading: For the reference most people will get, I just finished Exit Strategy from the Murderbot Diaries by Martha Wells, which I loved (super fond of this series).
I’m also reading “Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine”  by Gail Honeyman, we have a book-club for it in one of my discords. I wouldn’t have picked it up myself and I’m glad I am actually reading it because I’m enjoying the way the main character is such an unreliable narrator and am curious of seeing things unfold.
I’m also reading “Le château des poisons” by Serge Brussolo (Castle of Poisons), because a friend lend it to me super long ago and I want to give it back when I see her next week. I’m meh about it: the setting (a mystery set in medieval France) is interesting and I want to know how the plot with be solved (if it will be), but this sort of gritty representation of medieval times is not my cup and the characters are a bit cliché.
For fanfic, I finished “Heart Nailed Open” by Perfchan this morning and I loved it so so much!!! I also have a bunch of books about art from the library…
6. currently watching: Trigun stampede (I’ve been procrastinating the end because I need to be emotionally ready lol). And Critical Role campaign 3 (also need to catch up with Vox Machina s2).
7. currently consuming: ...easter chocolates
8. currently craving: tea (always lol)
9 people to tag: I… didn’t follow who got tagged already so… if you see this and want to do it, consider yourself tagged!)
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sugawaraxo · 2 years
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naughty, not nice
warnings: mmf threesome, quirk usage, smut n fluff :)
characters: katsuki bakugo and denki kaminari x f! reader
synopsis: the aftermath of bakugo asking denki to join him and his girlfriend in a threesome
a/n: smut on christmas? i’m a menace, i know lol. also sorry if there are errors, i hate revising my own smut bahaha.
~
…would you be down to have a threesome with me and y/n?
if not that’s cool, i’m just curious.
denki’s eyes faltered between every letter of every word in each sentence over and over and over. he hadn’t even noticed but his hands were trembling as they loosely gripped his phone, hovering over the keyboard. why am i so nervous, all i have to do is say yes he questioned. though he knew exactly why it felt like every nerve in his body was vibrating indefinitely, because he was about to admit things to katsuki that he had barely begun to unpack himself. it wasn’t like he was about to confess his love to the guy, but coming out to someone who just asked him to have a threesome in a more-than-likely “straight bro” way wasn’t much easier.
denki - look dude i’d love to, trust me i would, but i should probably let you know that i’m not down if we’re just gonna be tag-teaming your girl.
katsuki took not even a millisecond to read the message, almost as if he was waiting in the chat for a response the entire time that denki spent overthinking what to send. denki’s heart dropped then sped as the little grey typing bubble appeared in the corner of his screen.
bakugo - meaning?? i don’t think i get what you’re saying sparky.
denki rolled his eyes. he was hoping his vague explanation was just vague enough to get his point across without having to put it in black and white. he should have known it wouldn’t be that simple.
denki - meaning that if i do, i wanna like, do stuff with you too. not just us doing y/n.
the grey bubble sat in the left corner of denki’s screen for much longer than he would’ve preferred before katsuki finally sent a message.
bakugo - no shit, why do you think i asked you?
now it was denki’s turn to be confused.
denki - what do you mean?
bakugo - i asked you because i wanna do stuff with you too idiot. clearly there’s some kind of weird tension between us and i wanna figure it out, or like, fuck it out i guess.
‘i wanna do stuff with you too.’ denki nearly lost his mind as he read over the message.
denki - fair. and you’re sure y/n’s ok with it?
bakugo - she’s the one who suggested it. said some dumb shit about thinking me and you argue so much because we’re “sexually frustrated”
denki - so she’s willing to let you solve that frustration?
bakugo - as long as she’s involved, that was the deal.
denki - makes sense. well i’m down then, i’m not gonna bottom though.
bakugo - yeah fucking right you aren’t
denki - i’m not
bakugo - you are
denki - i’m not prepped
bakugo - ok? and neither am i nor will i be 
denki - fine. give me like thirty minutes, then i’ll be over
bakugo - good. see you then.
denki threw his phone across his bed and stared blankly at his wall. he couldn’t believe he was actually going through with this. he rolled off the bed and walked into the bathroom to mentally and physically prepare himself for the events about to unfold. despite denki’s newfound realization that his sexuality spans farther than heterosexual attraction, this would not be his first time prepping. long story short, denki is a curious and hormonal guy who has his needs.
once he was finished, he put his sweats back on and threw on a fresh shirt to at least appear as though he was trying to be presentable. he gave himself a once over in his bathroom mirror before taking a deep breath and walking to bakugo’s dorm. the walk felt longer than usual and denki could hear his heart thudding with each step on the way there. he felt like he was about to lose his virginity again, which in a sense he was, and the fact that bakugo would be the one taking it didn’t and would probably never fully sink in. denki stopped at the door and knocked almost too softly to be audible, however, seconds later he was greeted by you opening the door wearing an all too revealing yet very appealing santa-suit themed dress.
“hey kami, excuse the outfit. we just got back from a christmas party.” you explained.
“don’t apologize, it looks…” denki trailed off as he met katsuki’s gaze from across the room. he was dressed nicely save for the tacky santa hat crowning his head, yet somehow he made it work.
“looks what? sexy?” he egged kaminari with a faint smirk lifting the corners of his lips.
“cute. i was gonna say cute.” denki chokes, the reality of the situation had begun to settle in.
“hm, well thank you.” you smiled, “now stop standing awkwardly by the door and come in.” you grabbed denki’s hand and dragged him into the room, closing and locking the door behind you.
“didn’t come here just to get shy on us sparky, did you?” bakugo teased.
“shy? yeah clearly you don’t know me as well as you think you do.” denki scoffed.
“i’m sure he’d like to get to know you better though. a lot better.” you hinted suggestively as you walked over to your boyfriend who was seated on his bed. you sat in his lap before adding, “wouldn’t you katsuki?”
his eyes averted from you to kaminari. deep red irises met soft yellow ones.
“well maybe he should come over here so i can decide how much more i wanna know.” katsuki shrugged.
denki got the hint and walked over to the bed, sitting beside you two.
“lay back” you instructed him and he obeyed. as soon as his back hit the mattress, you were climbing over him so that you could straddle his waist.
“you’re very pretty kami, did you know that?” you said sincerely, eyes having traced over every detail of his blushing face.
“oh, thank you.” he said shakily.
“mhmm. can i kiss you?” you asked, intentionally letting your eyes linger on his lips. you don’t miss how his breath hitches slightly and his eyes focus on your lips too.
“yeah. please.” he said a little too breathlessly. he mentally cursed himself for it but didn’t have much time to process his embarrassment before your mouth was pressed against his. you were warm and sweet, and good. such a good kisser. so good that he had momentarily forgotten that you are his best friend’s girlfriend. his best friend who he couldn’t see at the moment due to current preoccupations, yet he was hyper aware of his presence. what was he doing? just watching? waiting? denki’s heart was racing for so many reasons and he didn’t know if he would make it through the night if a simple kiss was driving him this insane. and to make matters more stressful, you pulled away, a string of saliva dripped down your swollen lips and denki had to fight like hell to stop himself from groaning.
“your turn.” you turned to face katsuki, gesturing for him to kiss denki next. the boys’ eyes met in a moment that appeared to be hesitation, but bakugo leaned down and attached his lips to denki’s. it was timid, the nerves swarming both boys’ bodies evidently overtook the kiss. you noticed and decided you should find a way to ease the situation. still straddling denki’s waist, you rocked your hips back and forth against him. the noise you and bakugo were rewarded with was priceless, providing bakugo with all he needed to deepen the previously apprehensive kiss.
“pretty boy makes pretty noises too, go figure.” you hum, maintaining your slow rhythm. the compliment made kaminari arch up against you, meeting the roll of your hips. his hands instinctively grabbed your thighs, squeezing almost as a way to wordlessly tell you “keep going.”
denki’s whole body was on fire. he felt like at any moment, every bolt of electricity in his body would escape against his will. he was trying so hard to control himself but the haze clouding his mind by the uncharacteristically gentle entanglement of his lips with katsuki’s and the pool of heat caused by you rutting against his most sensitive area was completely overwhelming. a sharp jolt shot through his tongue, startling both him and bakugo.
“ah fuck sparky, what the hell?” bakugo grunted, but he didn’t sound fully angry.
“shit, sorry. are you ok?” denki asked, sitting up straight so he could get a better look at bakugo.
“i’m fine, but what was that? can you control it however you want?”
“um, i don’t know actually. i didn’t even know i could control electricity with my tongue until five seconds ago.” denki looked dumbfounded by his own abilities.
“try it again.” katsuki instructed, eyes darkened by something denki couldn’t pinpoint.
“why?” he questioned.
“katsuki likes pain. he was probably turned on by it.” you shrugged in amusement.
“oh really? that’s fitting.” denki smirked.
“shut up. can you do it again or not?” bakugo huffed.
“i can try.”
denki put all his mental strength into directing his electricity to his tongue. to his surprise, and katsuki’s excitement, he was able to do it with ease.
“that’s so fucking hot.” bakugo mumbled before grabbing kaminari’s chin and kissing him again. this kiss was more feverish than the last. more passionate. you watched intently before deciding you were bored of straddling denki and wanted to provide use elsewhere. you slid off of him, careful not to disrupt the makeout session happening above you. once your knees hit the cool wood flooring, you started loosening the strings of denki’s sweatpants. you heard a muffled sound of approval and a zap come from denki followed by a groan from bakugo.
“you’re so responsive to everything, this is gonna be fun.” you directed at kaminari before grazing your hand over his member. he was already semi-hard which you found cute considering you guys hadn’t done much but kiss him. you then leaned down to place your mouth on his length through his boxers. you heard a faint fuck and suddenly there was a hand fisted in your hair.
“you want her to suck it?” you heard bakugo’s coarse voice force out. you looked up and met denki’s weary gaze while bakugo was looking down at you in anticipation. all denki could do was nod, he lacked the confidence to verbally admit that he wanted so badly to be inside your mouth.
“i don’t think she heard you sparky. try again.” bakugo said.
“y-yeah. i want her to.” denki stuttered.
“want her to what?”
denki rolled his eyes, he wasn’t going to let bakugo hold dominance over him that easily.
“you and her both know. i don’t need to say it.”
“hm, but i don’t know kami. i think maybe you should just tell me.” you chimed in, running your hand over his hard-on once more, making sure to squeeze at the base. denki bit his lip to help hold back the embarrassing moan that threatened to leave his lips. he didn’t plan on submitting to bakugo, but for you, he would listen.
“i want you to suck me off.” he said, holding eye contact as he did so.
“there you go, good boy.” you smiled.
good boy. denki liked that. a lot.
you pulled his length out of his boxers eagerly, taking a moment to bask at the size of it.
“might be bigger than you babe.” you teased, giving it a slow stroke.
“tsk- not even.” bakugo grunted, though he silently wondered if it really was.
“let me see yours then.” denki breathed shortly, already losing his composure as you began licking and sucking on his tip.
“you’d love that wouldn’t you?” bakugo laughed.
“oh come on katsuki. it’s only fair, let him see.” you shrugged before taking a few more inches of denki into your mouth. denki mewled at that, eyes clenching tightly at the sudden pressure.
“fine. but just so i can use it to shut him up, you’re loud you know.” bakugo said as he peered down at denki.
“you clearly like it though.” you took a break from sucking denki to glance at the bakugo’s obvious arousal.
“yeah whatever.” bakugo muttered as he fidgeted with his belt buckle. denki took note of how bakugo didn’t deny your accusations and that made something flutter in his stomach. that along with you taking every inch of his length into your mouth with ease.
“ah fuck y/n, shit.” denki moaned and the grip he had on your hair tightened almost painfully.
“she’s good at that huh? let’s see how well you can do.” bakugo suggested before he angled his erection in front of denki’s mouth. denki’s eyes widened and he swore his mouth started to water.
“fuck” denki groaned before grabbing the base of bakugo’s length. he then pressed his lips to the tip and slid down until his mouth met his hand. his eyes were closed until he heard “look at me” in a faint whisper. to his demise, denki followed through with bakugo’s request and looked up at him through lust-heavy eyes.
“move your hand.” bakugo continued to direct and almost as if it were against his will, denki obeyed.
“take all of it.” bakugo finished. denki swallowed nervously around what he had already managed to fit in his mouth and bakugo felt it, causing him to smile in amusement.
“don’t be nervous. you can do it.”
denki was almost certain that was supposed to sound condescending yet it came out a bit too sincerely. the encouragement turned denki on more than he’d like to admit, but he showed it through his next course of action. he inhaled deeply through his nose before pushing the rest of bakugo’s length down his throat and in a matter of seconds his nose was touching bakugo’s lower abdomen.
“that’s so fucking hot denki, you take it so well.” you chirped up. you had completely abandoned your task of sucking kaminari off due to the distraction taking place mere inches away from you. you heard what sounded like the equivalent of a static shock preceding a deep moan tearing from bakugo.
“jesus fucking christ denki, fuck.” bakugo cursed, pulling himself out of the other’s mouth.
“did you cum?” you asked in awe.
“almost. insanely fucking close.” bakugo heaved.
denki flushed at the fact the he almost made bakugo cum without really having to try. he had found a new weakness for him, being shocked.
“would’ve never guessed my quirk could be used to get someone off” he laughed lightly.
“someone with a pain kink that is.” you added.
“you say that like you don’t have one.” bakugo rolled his eyes.
“oh do you? maybe i should try it on you too” denki shrugged.
“maybe you should.” you shrugged back.
“lay down then, on your back.”
you hesitated slightly, not used to following orders from anyone other than bakugo. but you were fully intrigued by denki and his quirk so you did as told. you got up from the floor to lay on the bed and denki eagerly positioned himself between your legs, spreading them apart so he had access to what he wanted most. he lifted the fluffy red and white fabric of your dress up your thighs a bit more. then he hooked his fingers under the waistband of your underwear and slid them down your body, discarding them on the floor. denki glanced at bakugo, eyes clearly asking for permission. bakugo nodded and denki dipped his head between your thighs. he had no issue finding your clit almost immediately. he worked his tongue around it in languid circles, letting out small sparks of electricity as he did so.
“nngh, don’t stop. please don’t stop.” you moaned. the tables were then turned as you buried your hands into his hair, using your hold as a way to ground yourself. denki continued licking your swollen clit as he placed two fingers at your entrance. he teased you, pushing them in slightly then stopping. pushing. stopping. pushing. until his fingers were deep inside you. the pleasure of him grazing your gspot whilst simultaneously sucking your clit was conflicting and quite frankly, overwhelming. his consistency faltered though and a moan of bakugo’s name caught your attention. you looked to find your boyfriend fingering denki as well, lube-slicked fingers curved and out of the boy slowly.
“god that’s so hot.” you said through a broken moan.
“you’re telling me.” bakugo replied quietly, almost as if he didn’t intend to say it aloud.
“can’t wait to watch you fuck him.” you said.
“can’t wait to fuck him.” bakugo muttered, again as if it were unintentional.
“then fuck me.” denki said as he turned to face bakugo.
“you’re ready for it?” bakugo asked with more concern than he planned.
“mhmm.” denki nodded.
“are you sure?” bakugo hesitated.
“yes i’m sure. i want it katsuki, i want you.” denki admitted and he would have been embarrassed by how needy he sounded if it weren’t for the small yet endearing smile that took over bakugo’s face.
“good, because i want you too.” bakugo countered as he pressed himself into denki’s rim. denki’s throat burned at the moan he let out. he had to use his forearm to muffle his noises otherwise the whole floor would know what was going on behind their closed door.
“keep eating her out.” bakugo ordered to the disheveled boy beneath him. denki found the strength to regain focus on your pleasure. he wrapped his lips around your clit once more, this time jolts of electricity shot from his tongue uncontrollably. the feeling was indescribably arousing and you knew that both he and you would be unraveling messes within the next few minutes. bakugo was fucking into him deeply, slow yet precise strokes filling denki perfectly. it hurt slightly, but bakugo was so gentle and determined to hit the spots that made denki’s legs tremble that the pain was merely an afterthought. even though denki couldn’t properly think because of his overwhelming arousal, he did know that he wanted to make you cum before he did. he pushed his fingers into your dripping hole again, thrusting and curling them almost perfectly across your gspot. the combination of his fingers and his tongue was a nightmare in the best way possible.
“i’m gonna cum, fuck you’re so good at that. i’m gonna…” your back arched off of the mattress, hands tangling into the comforter as you came over denki’s fingers. though he didn’t stop immediately, he continued curving his fingers into you, making you writhe beneath him. he only stopped when bakugo thrusted into him a bit more harshly than he had been before, tearing a weak and broken moan from the fucked out boy
“i-i’m close. i’m so c-close.” denki stuttered.
“yeah? let me help.” you said in an almost whisper, still not completely recovered from your own orgasm.
you scooted down a little lower so that you were essentially eye level with denki. you grabbed his leaking erection and guided it toward your hole. you teased it a bit, admiring the way denki’s eyes clenched tightly and his breath got heavier. you pushed his tip into you and he took care of the rest. his hips lazily pushed the rest of his length into your wet heat and the boy nearly passed out. as if you and bakugo had telepathically communicated when you were going to make denki absolutely lose his mind, you clenched around him tightly and bakugo hit his spot perfectly.
“fuck fuck fuck, shit. i-” denki’s sentence was cut short by him pulling out of you and cumming on your dress. he collapsed beside you, not an ounce of strength available to sturdy him.
“mm, gonna cum.” is all that bakugo could manage to get out as he uses his hand to finish himself off. his cum dripped down his fingers and onto the bedsheets in a mesmerizing pool of white. denki had a strange urge to lick it all up yet lacked the energy to do so.
“i don’t think i’ve ever cum that hard in my life, and that’s saying something.” denki broke the temporarily still silence.
“agreed. how do you have a vibrator literally built into your tongue? shit was insane.” you exclaimed.
“sparky’s just perfect clearly.” bakugo input as he sat against the headboard of the bed.
“i’m not perfect.” denki laughed lightly.
“yeah you are.” bakugo said softly.
“then you are too. you and y/n.”
“perfect enough for us to do this again sometime?” you questioned.
“i was hoping so.” denki smiled.
“good.” you replied before placing an innocent peck on denki’s lips. he then looked to bakugo who was already looking at him fondly. something about the content smile on his face made denki feel safe. he could get used to yours and bakugo’s company.
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thebibliosphere · 3 years
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So I'm currently unemployed because I got fired for taking too much sick leave (it was legally sketchy blah blah blah but in the end I just can't work and take care of myself and investigate my mystery health problems at the same time). So I've been spending more time writing!
I really admire your writing and loved Hunger Pangs. I'm looking forward to the poly elements developing and I'm wondering if you have any advice for writing about poly. I've made one of my projects a snarky take on "write what you know" ... Apparently what I know is southern gothic meets Pacific northwest gothic, chronic illness pandemic surrealism, and falling back-asswards into threesomes.
I know this is a very open-ended question and I don't expect an answer, I'm just curious about it if you have the energy. As a writer, trying to write honestly / realistically about polyamory/enm, I'm curious if you have any thoughts on what's different about portraying monogamy or nonmonogamy in books, romance or erotica or otherwise.
I'm trying to read examples but it's hard to find examples that fit the niche I'm looking at. Excuse me if this question is nonsense, it's the cluster headaches.
I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with all that and solidarity on the cluster headaches. But I'm glad you're finding an outlet through writing! And I hope you're happy with an open-ended ramble in response because oh boy, there's a lot I could talk about and I could probably do a better job of answering this sort of thing with more specific questions, but let's see where we end up.
There's definitely a big difference between writing polyamory/ENM (ethical non-monogamy) and what people often expect from monogamous love stories.
Just even from a purely sales and marketing standpoint, the moment you write anything polyamorous (or even just straight up LGBTQIA+ without the ENM) you're going to get considered closer to being erotica/obscene than hetero romances. It's an unfair bias, but it's one that exists in our society. But also the Amazon algorithm and their shitty, shitty human censors. Especially the ones that work the weekends. (Talking to you, Carlos 🖕.)
So not only do you start out hyper-aware that you're writing something that is highly stigmatized or fetishized (at least I'm hyper-aware) but that you are also writing for a niche market that is starving for positive content because the content that exists is either limited, not what they want, or is problematic in some fashion i.e. highly stigmatized or fetishy. And even then, the wants, desires, and expectations of the community you're writing for are complex and wildly varied and hard to fit into an easy formula.
When writing monogamous love stories, there is a set expectation that’s really hard to fuck up once you know it. X person meets Y. Attraction happens, followed by some sort of minor conflict/resolution. Other plot may happen. A greater catalyst involving personal growth for both parties (hopefully) happens. Follow the equation to its ultimate resolution and achieve Happily Ever After. 
But writing ENM is... a lot more difficult, if only because of the pure scope of possibilities. You could try to follow the same equation and shove three (or more) people into it, but it rarely works well. Usually because if you’re doing it right, you won’t have enough room in a single character arc to allow for enough growth, and if ENM requires anything in abundance, it’s room to grow.
And this post is huge so I’m going to put the rest under a cut :)
There's also a common refrain in certain online polyam/ENM circles that triads and throuples are overrepresented in media and they may be right to some extent. Personally, I believe the issue isn't that triads and throuples are overrepresented, but that there is such minuscule positive rep of ethical non-monogamy in general, that the few tiny instances we have of triads in media make it seem like it's "everywhere" when in actuality, it's still quite rare and the media we do have often veers into Unicorn Hunter fetish porn. Which is its own problematic thing. And just to be clear, I’m not including this part to dissuade you from writing "falling back-asswards into threesomes." If anything, I need more of it and would hook it directly into my brain if I could. I'm just throwing it out there into the void in the hope that someone will take the thought and run with it, lol.
I’d love to see more polyfidelitous rep in fiction, just as much as I’d like to see more relationship anarchy too. More diversity in fiction is always good.
Another thing that differs in writing ENM romance vs conventional monogamy is the feeling like you need to justify yourself. There's a lot of pressure to be as healthy and non-problematic as possible because you are being held to a higher standard of criticism. Both from people from without the ENM communities, and from the people within. Granted, some people don't give a shit and just want to read some fantastic porn (valid) but there are those who will cheerfully read Fifty Shades of Bullshit and call it "spicy" and "romantic," then turn around and call the most tooth-rottingly-sweet-fluff about a queer platonic polycule heresy. That's just the way the world works.
(Pro-tip for author life in general: never read your own reviews; that way madness lies. I glimpsed one the other day that tagged Hunger Pangs as “ethical cheating” and just about had an aneurism.)
And while that feeling of needing to justify yourself comes from a valid place of being excluded from the table of socially accepted norms, it can also be to the detriment of both the story and the subject matter at hand. I've seen some authors bend so far over backward to avoid being problematic in their portrayal of ENM, they end up being problematic for entirely different reasons. Usually because they give such a skewed, rose-tinted perspective of how things work, it ends up coming off as well... a bit culty and obnoxious tbh.
“Look how enlightened we are, freed from the trappings of monogamy and jealousy! We’re all so honest and perfect and happy!”
Yeah, uhu, sure Jan. Except here’s the thing, not all jealousy is bad. How you act on it can be, but jealousy itself is an important tool in the junk drawer that is the range of human emotion. It can clue us in to when we’re feeling sad or neglected, which in turn means we should figure out why we’re feeling those things. Sometimes it’s because brains are just like that and anxiety is a thing. Other times it’s because our needs are actually being neglected and we are in an unhealthy situation we need to remedy. You gotta put the work in to figure it out. Which is the same as any style of relationship, whether it’s mono, polyam or whatever flavor of ENM you subscribe to* And sometimes you just gotta be messy, because that’s how humans are. Being afraid to show that mess makes it a dishonest portrayal, and it also robs you of some great cannon fodder for character development.
Which brings me in a roundabout way to my current pet peeve in how certain writers take monogamous ideals and apply them to ENM, sometimes without even realizing it. The “Find the Right Person and Settle Down” trope.
Often, in this case, ENM or polyamory is treated as a phase. Something you mature out of with age or until you meet “The One(tm).” This is, of course, an attempt to follow the mono style formula expected in most romances. And while it might appeal to many readers, it’s uh, actually quite insulting. 
To give an example, I am currently seeing this a lot in the Witcher fandom. 
Fanon Netflix!Jaskier is everyone's favorite ethical slut until he meets Geralt then woops, wouldn’t you know, he just needed to find The One(tm). Suddenly, all his other sexual and romantic exploits or attractions mean nothing to him. Let's watch as he throws away a core aspect of his personality in favor of a man. 
Yeah... that sure showed those societal norms... 
If I were being generous, I’d say it’s a poor attempt at showing New Relationship Euphoria and how wrapped up people can become in new relationships. But honestly, it’s monogamous bias eking its way in to validate how special and unique the relationship is. Because sometimes people really can’t think of any other way to show how important and valid a relationship is without defining it in terms of exclusivity. Which is a fundamental misunderstanding of how ENM works for a lot of people and invalidates a lot of loving, serious and long-term relationships.
This is not to say that some polyam/poly-leaning people can't be happy in monogamous relationships! I am! (I consider myself ambiamorous. I'm happy with either monogamy or polyamory, it really just depends on the relationship(s) I’m in.) But I also don't regard my relationship with a mono partner as "settling down" or "growing up." It's just a choice I made to be with a person I love, and it's a valid one. Just like choosing to never close yourself off to multiple relationships is valid. And I wish more people realized that, or rather, I wish the people writing these things knew that :P
Anyway, I think I’ve rambled enough. I hope this collection of incoherent thoughts actually makes some sense and might be useful. 
----
*A good resource book that doesn't pull any punches in this regard is Polysecure by Jessica Fern. It's a wonderfully insightful read that explores the messier side of consensual non-monogamy, especially with how it can be affected by trauma or inter-relationship conflicts. But it also shows how to take better steps toward healthy, ethical non-monogamy (a far better job than More Than Two**) and conflict resolution, making it a valuable resource both for someone who is a part of this relationship style***, but also for writers on the outside looking in who might have a very simple or misguided idea of what conflict within polyam/ENM relationships might look like, vs traditional monogamous ones.
** The author of More Than Two has been accused of multiple accounts of abuse within the polyamorous community, with many of his coauthors having spoken out about the gaslighting and emotional and psychological damage they experienced while in a relationship with him. A lot of their stories are documented here: https://www.itrippedonthepolystair.com/ (warning: it is not light material and deals with issues of abuse, gaslighting, and a whole other plethora of Yikes.) While some people still find More Than Two helpful reading, there are now, thankfully, much, much better resources out there.
*** Some people consider polyam/ENM to be part of their identity or orientation, while others view it as a relationship style.It largely depends on the individual. 
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writing-in-april · 3 years
Text
Erotica Explained
Spencer Reid x Female Reader (Spencer’s POV)
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Summary: Spencer discovers his girlfriend’s writing.
A/N: Hey Heyyy- this is my twenty-sixth fic for my 30 fics in 30 days for April! It’s based on this request- and I did end up using a small snippet from one of my other fics! Sorry this ones out late too lol had a very difficult day. Feel free to leave me an ask here (I promise I don’t bite) Thanks for reading and hope y’all enjoy!
Warnings: 18+, Smut, Sub!Spencer, Unprotected sex, A little bit of grinding, A little bit of overstimulation, Creampie
Main Masterlist Word Count:1.7k
I don’t use technology often, if I can help it I don’t use it at all. But, I had to use it right now, there was something I needed to look up on the computer. It wasn’t for a case or anything, I was just too curious and too impatient to wait to go to the library.
Because I don’t use technology often at all, I didn’t own a personal laptop. The only one I regularly used was the one I was given at work, and that was done begrudgingly. Though I couldn’t use that one right now as I was at my apartment I shared with my girlfriend. My girlfriend however, happened to have a laptop that she wouldn’t mind me using.
When I opened up her laptop, it was already unlocked with a tab already opened. My eyes unintentionally quickly glazed over the page, my eyes widening as I flitted across the page. It was some sort of story, one that contained things that made me blush. At the end of what was visible without scrolling down it read,
His fingers twitched at his side when you blew cool air onto his length, you sneered again, “If you touch me I’ll stop.”
My own trousers started to grow a little tight after reading that, then confusion made its way into my face, wondering what in the world I was reading. I clicked around, not really knowing what I was doing and I fell into a wormhole of reading. It wasn’t until I glanced up to see who owned the documents it all clicked together. They were my girlfriend’s stories.
They were her stories about a slew of characters that already existed in other media, the first one I had read even happened to be about a Star Wars character- Poe to be specific. Once it all clicked together I slammed the computer shut, feeling like I had invaded her privacy. Then I swiftly got into a cold shower, ready to freeze my arousal and wash off my shame.
—-
My foot was tapping even crazier than normal as I sat next to my girlfriend. We had decided on a night in, choosing to order take out and watch a few movies on a rare night off for me. It was her turn to choose, and unsurprisingly she chose Star Wars.
“What’s wrong?” She asked me when I started to basically vibrate when Poe came onto the screen. I couldn’t keep it in any longer, the guilt was eating me alive sitting here while I watched a constant reminder of what I read.
“I’m sorry-“ She was about to open her mouth to probably ask me why I was apologizing, but I steamrolled over it by ranting, “I looked at your writing- the erotica you write. I- I think it’s about already existing characters? Which I hadn’t heard about before-“
She finally did get a chance to cut me off by calling out my name, getting me to stop my nervous rant, “Are you mad- that I umm am writing about someone who’s not you?”
“No! It’s natural to be attracted to different people even while you’re with someone…” I was already falling down into another rant, this time however I caught myself and found the point I had been looking for, “I actually think it’s kind of hot.”
“Oh yeah?” Her eyebrows had shot up almost high enough that they were up into her hairline. I flushed a little at that, feeling vulnerable under her gaze even though I knew she always kept me safe.
“I- um actually was wondering if you could do to me-“ The words died on my tongue when my eyes met hers again, and just by her eyes I could see that she knew what I wanted. She just wanted me to say it out loud.
“What do you want me to do to you?”
“Wh-hat I read- can you umm-?”
She didn’t let me stumble any longer, cutting off my stuttering, “You want me to do the things you read about to you?”
I nodded vigorously, but that wasn’t enough for her. She leaned forward, grabbing my cheeks between two of her fingers, then prompting me, “Use your words.”
I whimpered at that, remembering seeing it in one of her writings. I learned from the character, who had mouthed off in the fanfic, instead breathily answering, “Yes, I want you to use me like you wrote.”
Soon enough my clothes had been taken off by me as I had to follow her command to ‘strip’. She did so as well, then straddling me, starting immediately to grind on my cock. I moved my hands to her hips to try to get her to do something more, but they were quickly pushed off. She then pinned them above my head, leaning forward to whisper into my lips, “No you don’t get to touch unless I tell you too.”
“Yes, Miss!” I gasped out instantly, wanting to be perfect for her.
“Mmmm good boy.”
That made me keen even more, loving the praise she gave me a dash of, I craved her showering it onto me. She kept her course of action, grinding onto my cock until her own arousal completely soaked it. All it would take was for the head of my cock to notch at my entrance, she was so wet I could slip in easily. But, all I could do was wait until she let me have her. I’m sure if I begged she’d only smirk at me, so I kept my mouth shut and took what I was given.
She finally sunk down onto my cock, though it was excruciatingly slow. I tried to fight my instincts, keeping my hips flush with the couch so I wouldn’t get scolded for moving without permission.
When the backs of her thighs finally hit the tips of mine, I groaned unintentionally. She seemed to love it, starting to buck her hips enthusiastically at my response. My hands balled up into fists, knuckles turning white from how hard I was gripping them. It was taking so much to not cum already, her hands pinning me and how beautiful she looked above me making it overwhelming.
“Awww are you already so close? You love getting used like this don’t you?” She goaded once she realized how much I was fighting my release with my squinted eyes.
It took me a minute to find the words, as all my mind could focus on at the moment was how she felt around me. My IQ was completely slashed to 60, but I did eventually get out, “Yes miss”
She sped up her pace at my words, alternating from grinding down into me hard and bouncing vigorously on top of me. When she lent forward to give me a bruising kiss, she swallowed all the noises I was making, until she dipped her head down to mark up my collarbone. It was all too much; I didn’t know how much longer I could hold on.
“You’re such a good boy for me Spencer.” She gasped above me, writhing on my cock while she continued to bounce. It was getting so hard to bear, especially with more praise, but I wanted to wait until she came. She looked like a goddess, especially just as she was about to cum, which she soon signaled by saying, “Oh god baby, you’re gonna make me cum!”
All I could do was watch as she removed one hand from where they were wrapped around my own to rub circles into her clit. She tipped her head back, mouth dropped open in a moan, and thighs shaking as her orgasm washed over her. She shook above me for a minute, hips stuttering as she tried to continue the pace she built while her orgasm was ripping through her. Once she had come down from her release she then focused on mine, building the pace back up to be even faster than her original one.
“Go ahead and cum baby boy.” With one more swivel of her hips, I fell off the edge at her command, filling her all the way up with my release. She held my hands up above my head still and still moved her hips while I rode out my high. When she stopped her movements once I whimpered loudly out of overstimulation, she finally let go of my hands.
I let myself relax as she slumped over onto me, resting her head onto my still somewhat heaving chest. With my hands once again free I wrapped my arms around her middle, entrapping her this time.
Looking up I then noticed the movie was still going, completely unobstructed by our actions. It was towards the end of the movie already, telling me how long we had been going at it. Though I didn’t care that I missed it, I got to act out a partial storyline from it, even if it was a made up one. The movie could only hold my attention for so long, there was someone far more interesting with me.
“So are you gonna write some with me?” She giggled out while tracing her fingers up and down my chest, lingering over my sternum. Her proposition was an intriguing one for sure, especially now that she explained some of it to me. Though, I think my writing style is more suited for more of an academic setting.
I snorted a little, giggling a little myself, then brushing my hair out of my eyes so I could see them more clearly. When I tipped her chin up with my fingers and their eyes met mine, they were full of mischief. She was definitely trying to get me riled up again, but I had a quip back of my own, “I don’t think I’d be good at it- but maybe you’ll let me read from now on? I wouldn’t mind editing some as well, it sounds fun.”
Ask Me Anything
——
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All Works: @shotarosleftpinky @90spumkin @kyra-morningstar @spenxerslut @boxofsparklingmuses @multixfandomwriter @takeyourleap-of-faith
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Sub Spencer: @thatsonezesty13 @pastathighs @virtualpeanutartisanjudge @calm-and-doctor @princesssmooshie @peterpanouat
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emkay512 · 3 years
Text
Just For Tonight
What if it had been Liam’s idea to have house Beaumont sponsor Riley in his social season? And what was Liam’s night like after he dropped off Riley in the very first chapter?
A/N: I watch a lot of rom-coms and chick flicks and couldn’t stop thinking about Liam and came up with this 🙃 This exists in my OUAT universe, so I’m using those tags, I hope that’s ok and you enjoy!
Thank you at @sfb123 and @queenrileyrose for pre-reading and giving me that extra confident boost! I think I was marinating on this too long! Lol 😅
Warnings: Some language, but that’s about it.
Tags: @burnsoslow @bbrandy2002 @ao719 @kat-tia801 @sincerelyella @charlotteg234 @neotericthemis @queenrileyrose @kingliam2019 @iaminlovewithtrr @amandablink @iluaaa @jared2612 @sfb123 @twinkleallnight @tessa-liam @secretaryunpaid @ladyangel70 @gkittylove99 @texaskitten30 @shanzay44 @ofpixelsandscribbles
Word count: 1,676
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Liam’s head was swimming. He and Riley just piled into a cab to escort her back to her apartment after their midnight rendezvous with the Statue of Liberty. That kiss she gave him on the ferry had him dizzy, he was losing his inner fight to remember his duty bound responsibilities and wanted to embrace her again, but he also didn’t want to lead Riley on.
As if Riley was reading his mind, she broke the silence and asked, “hey, Liam?” Liam focused his gaze on her in reply, “what if just for tonight, we indulge in ourselves a little?” Liam lifted his brow in confusion.
“How do you mean?”
Riley was feeling quiet vulnerable with her idea, but in keeping with her own suggestion, she explained, “I have a feeling about you. That you’re used to putting your priorities and desires dead last in life. I’m even a little afraid that you may come to regret this night with me because you will convince yourself you had over indulged by allowing a little personal pleasure in your life. I’m saying, don’t do that. And I won’t either. I’m not sorry for opening up to a prince I know I’ll never see again. So… so how about you do the same?” Riley felt her cheeks blush and she looked up at him to see his eyes soften, knowing he was moved and would agree.
“Ok.” Liam smiled genuinely, she was completely right, and now thanks to her, he wouldn’t allow himself to feel any shame for enjoying this night. “Ok, Ms. Riley Brooks, I’ll do the same. Just for tonight, I will feel no shame for enjoying myself, for letting my heart call the shots for once.”
“Good.” Riley almost felt her eyes well up with tears from both the most sincere happiness she was feeling mixed with sadness of the night ending. Just then, the cab slowed to a stop right in front of her stoop. “Well, this is me. Good night, Liam. Thank you for the unforgettable evening.”
“Riley,” was all he could whisper before they both leaned in, closed their eyes, and surrendered into their goodnight kiss. Liam had relaxed completely, and it was Riley that deepened the kiss. She had parted her lips for him and he allowed himself to touch his tongue to hers, reveling in her sweet taste. He took one hand to cup her cheek and his other hand around her waist, both hands pressing her body as close to his as possible.
At the sound of the cabbie clearing his throat, they parted, both a little out of breathe. With smiles on both their faces, they said at the same time, “well, good night.”
They awkwardly laughed, and Riley touched her hand to his 5 o’clock shadow and said, “I think you are amazing, and thank you again for tonight.” She offered him the sweetest smile and then moved to exit the cab.
Liam replied as she was making her move out, “goodnight, Ms. Riley, and just so you know, I will never regret this night.” It was the right thing to say, as he saw nothing but elation on her face as she gently shut the car door and turned to walk into her apartment.
After giving the cabbie the name of his hotel, Liam leaned back in the backseat of the cab with nothing but stars in his eyes. He couldn’t believe the night he just had, and he was too far gone in his euphoria that he wouldn’t allow himself to think back to the reality that awaits him. Just for tonight. Just like they had said. He would allow himself to close out this night on his love sick high.
Upon his arrival back to the suite he was sharing with his friends, Maxwell was the only one still up. Liam could swear that his good, cheery, friend, Maxwell Beaumont, operated on constant energizer bunny batteries and actually didn’t sleep.
“Well, well, well… couldn’t quiet pull off the next-morning-walk-of-shame, my prince?” Maxwell knew Liam hated the formalities among his friends so he knew right away that Maxwell was in a full ball-busting mood. But Liam didn’t care. And to his dismay, Maxwell noticed. “Whoa. What the hell is that dopey look on your face!? You did get laid??” Maxwell was sincerely perplexed because he knew that a one night quickie was unlike Liam, but he could think of no other explanation.
Liam chuckled and shrugged, knowing he was unable to shake the grin off his face. No, he didn’t get laid. But he did get kissed. Twice. By a woman he knew he wouldn’t shake from his thoughts, for probably the rest of his life. Just for tonight. He continued the mantra in his mind. He’d let his mind wander to the idea of seeing her again. “Calm down, Max. She just showed me a very lovely evening. She pulled off a trip to the Statue of Liberty. Just for me.” Maxwell was not missing the stars in Liam’s eyes and couldn’t resist in fucking with him a little more.
“Huh, so your tryst involved another lady? Ya know, Lady Liberty? Kinky.” Liam rolled his eyes, that’s not even creative or funny, he thought to himself. “Wait, so how in the hell did you pull that off? I know you get shit done, but a last minute late night boat ride in a foreign country to impress a girl? How did you do it?”
“I didn’t. It was all the other way around. She called in a favor to impress me, and as you can see, I was quiet taken.”
“Well damn, sister’s got some moves! I mean, look at you, I’ve never seen you so smitten!” Maxwell was still muttering some mockeries at Liam, something about Liam being a smitten kitten. But it was something else he said that stuck out to Liam. Sister. Maxwell had call her a sister. After a second, a wild idea popped into Liam’s mind.
“That’s it! That’s it, Maxwell you genius!” Maxwell blinked up at Liam, very unsure what part of his rambles got Liam so excited. “House Beaumont still needs a sponsor for the social season, right?”
“Uh, yeah. That’s right.” Maxwell was clearly not putting two and two together.
“Catch up, Beaumont! Her! Riley! What do you think? We could catch up with her in the morning and ask her to join the season under your house. Well?”
Maxwell was grinning from ear to ear. He thought it was such a good idea that he was disappointed he didn’t think of it. “You’re on. You and I can find her in the morning before your early flight back and if she says yes, I’ll bring her back here to get the guys caught up and she’ll fly back with us.”
“Genius! Ah, I could kiss you right now Maxwell! I’m gonna try to catch some sleep before the morning.” Liam said while pumping his fist in excitement and he half jogged into a separate room to fall asleep.
The next morning, Liam and Maxwell caught sight of Riley walking up to her bar. Maxwell still had a curious amount of energy in him and next thing Liam knew, he was jogging ahead to Riley with his hand in the air to get her attention. “Hey! Hey, Riley!” Liam kept his pace as Maxwell rushed ahead.
Riley whipped around to see Maxwell charging at her. “Oh, hey. It’s you. One of Liam’s friends, Maxwell, right?”
“Yep! Good memory! Anyway I’m glad I caught you. I’m here because I want to formally invite you to Cordonia to participate in all the festivities for Liam. Normally you wouldn’t be allowed to join, but I want to sponsor you!” Maxwell could see the shock and confusion on her face as he continued to explain. “I’m from a noble house, but I don’t have any sisters so we don’t have anyone in contention to marry the prince. Instead we get to pick any girl to sponsor, and I pick you!”
“Wh-why me?”
“I’m not doing it just for you.” Just then Liam caught up and strode into the scene.
“Good morning, Ms. Riley Brooks.” Liam used his most husky and calm voice possible. He knew he was about to be asking a lot out of her.
Riley instantly picked up Liam’s voice as he walked up and greeted her, “Liam? What are you doing here?”
Liam approached and grabbed her hand, bringing it up to his lips for a quick kiss. He met her eyes as he explained, “I’m here to do the same thing my good friend, Maxwell, is here doing. I want to convince you to come to Cordonia. Everything he said is true. You can participate as his sponsor.” Riley moved her eyes from Liam and looked just over his shoulder at Maxwell, she was trying to decide if he was someone she could trust and someone whose house she wanted to join. She saw a very promising and honest smile on his face, and she felt comfortable. She then looked back to Liam, who was still holding her hand.
“I… I don’t know.. that’s a big commitment..”
“Look,” Liam said quickly not wanting to lose his momentum. “I’ll level with you, Cordonia won’t be like New York, but there’s something about you. About us, that I trust. There’s something here Riley, why not give it a shot. Come on, I know you feel it too.”
She most certainly felt it too and she thought about last night and the opportunity that could be ahead of her, versus her current shitty bartending life in New York, and she came to her decision. “Ok,” she smiled and looked him in the eye, “I’m in.”
“Yes!” Maxwell shouted from behind them, “go pack your bags, this is going to be the adventure of a lifetime!”
Riley looked at Liam and said, “I guess we’re shooting for more than just for tonight, huh?”
Liam replied, “heh, yeah I guess you’re right.”
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triptuckers · 3 years
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Two Homes (part 3/7) - Nikolai Lantsov
Request: nope Pairing:  Nikolai Lantsov x reader Summary:  you’ve successfully escaped the ball room, but you run into someone you had been trying to avoid when you’re in the gardens Warnings: lil angst, mentions of gunshots and blood Word count:  2K A/N: hehe he is here !! finally lol enjoy reading! PREVIOUS PART | NEXT PART TAG LIST (two homes and/or all grishaverse fics): @godsofwriting @im-constantly-fangirling  @ayushmitadutta @mrs-brekker15 @dancingwith-sunflowers @thegirlwiththeimpala @parker-natasha @story-scribbler @romanoffstarkovs @daliareads @meiitanoia @itsnotquimey (if your name is in bold it means I couldn’t tag you) add yourself to my tag lists here 
You can faintly hear the music in the ball room. But the closer you get to the gardens, the more you have to concentrate to be able to hear the music. You can’t help but to smile to yourself. You made it out of the ball room. 
All you had to do was wait until the ball was over and you would be on your way back to Ketterdam. Your father would probably be furious at you. But it was about time he learned he couldn’t continue to control your life.
As you’re walking through the gardens, the many different flowers take your breath away. You didn’t have a ball room like the one you just left in Ketterdam. You also certainly didn’t have a garden like this. 
You walk the paths, amazed by the plants around you. You had never seen something like this before. If King Nikolai would have invited you to this garden instead of a ball, you might have seriously considered accepting his invitation.
Time passes as you admire the extraordinary flowers surrounding you. The palace has long since vanished from your eyesight, and the sun is almost gone. You can see some stars in the sky already. 
Even though you didn’t want to come here, even though you spent the entire journey getting here wishing for Ketterdam, you couldn’t deny you’d be upset if you had missed out on the beautiful gardens. 
You wonder if the ball has already ended, and want to make your way back to the palace, when you see a silhouette in the distance. Did someone else escape the ball to go to the gardens? Or worse; did someone follow you when you leapt from the balcony?
Though you’re in the gardens near a palace and not in the streets of Ketterdam, you’re still on edge by a stranger’s presence. You stop walking and listen closely to their movements, ready to strike should they attack you. 
You watch from a distance as they walk closer. Hands behind their back, slowly walking through the garden. You notice the way their shoulders slump a little. Tired of the dancing maybe? Or trying to deceive you?
When they walk closer, and the last bit of sunshine falls on their face, you see blonde hair and a pair of hazel eyes.
A look of surprise finds its way onto his face when he spots you. 
‘Well, hello.’ he says, sounding genuinely surprised to see another person in the gardens. ‘I believe we haven’t met?’ 
You shake your head. ‘No, we haven’t.’ you say.
He looks up and down your dress, sending goosebumps along your bare arms. You couldn’t deny he was indeed as handsome as described in the stories. 
‘I’d say you fled the ball.’ he says. ‘I’m Nikolai, I don’t think you were introduced before the ball started.’
You notice how he introduces himself as Nikolai, and not as the king. 
‘I didn’t flee.’ you say. ‘And no, I wasn’t introduced.’ 
‘Oh, that wasn’t a question.’ says Nikolai. ‘Merely a statement. I’d remember a dress and a face like that.’ 
Your lips slightly part in surprise. ‘Do you flirt with every woman you meet tonight?’ you ask.
‘Do you flee from every ball you attend?’ he says without missing a beat, making you chuckle.
‘This is the first ball I’ve ever been to.’ you admit. 
‘Apparently it’s not a very good one, given that you left before it even started.’ he says.
‘It’s not about wether or not it’s a good ball.’ you say. ‘I just didn’t want to be in Ravka.’
‘But you are here.’ he points out.
‘Because my father basically dragged me here.’ you say, crossing your arms. 
‘Your father, is he a Kerch merchant? There was one who didn’t introduce his daughter because she wasn’t there. So, that would mean you’re Y/F/N /Y/L/N, right?’ says Nikolai.
‘You’re good.’ you say.
‘I’m good at a number of things.’ he says with a wink. 
‘Clearly.’ you say. 
Nikolai smiles and holds out his arm to you. ‘Do you want to go for a walk?’ he says.
You look at him extending his arm to you, smile on his lips and a twinkling in his eyes. You were dying to know why he had left the ball as well, and you actually didn’t mind the company. It made you curious and eager to find out if the stories you had heard about him are true.
So you nod with a smile, and lay a hand on his arm.
‘I’ll take you to my favorite spot in the gardens.’ he says, steering the two of you onto one of the paths.
‘Can I ask you a question?’ you say.
‘Of course.’ says Nikolai.
‘Why did you leave the ball?’ you say.
Nikolai looks at you and smiles. ‘Because even though I’m an excellent dancer, I also need breaks.’ he says. ‘I needed some fresh air.’
‘Are you really good at dancing or are you trying to impress me?’ you say.
‘Take your pick.’ he says.
For someone who didn’t want to be here and who had no intention of meeting the king, you found yourself starting to like him. He’s easy to talk to, and seems genuinely interested in you. And he’s not offended to find you in the gardens instead of the ball room.
‘Was it your idea to throw this ball to pick a bride?’ you say as you walk past a plant with particularly large orange flowers.
Nikolai sighs softly. ‘No.’ he says. ‘It was a decision made by Zoya and Genya, two of my triumvirate.’ 
‘Because they wanted you to marry?’ you say.
‘Because they wanted me to form an alliance and because I couldn’t establish one through politics, they thought I should try getting one through marriage.’ he says. 
You look at him, trying to read his face. ‘But you don’t want that.’ you say.
Nikolai looks at you and raises an eyebrow. ‘I personally don’t want to marry someone I don’t know for the sake of an alliance. But it’s what’s best for Ravka. And I like to put Ravka’s needs first.’ he says.
‘Spoken like a true king.’ you say. 
‘Well, I try to be a good one.’ he says as the two of you sit down on a bench.
‘From the stories I heard, you are.’ you say.
‘Really?’ says Nikolai. ‘Fancy telling me one of them?’
You laugh and shake your head. ‘I’m sure you’ve already heard them.’ you say.
‘What would it take for you to tell me one of those stories?’ says Nikolai.
You shrug. ‘A ticket to Ketterdam?’ you say.
He frowns. ‘You really want to go back that badly?’ he says.
‘No offence, but yes. I’ve been wanting to go back ever since the ship sailed away. Don’t take it personal, but I never had any intention of going to Os Alta in the first place.’ you say.
‘I understand.’ he says.
You look at him, confused. ‘You do?’
‘What, you think people haven’t made decisions for me my entire life?’ he says. ‘I know what it’s like not being able to make your own choices. I do appreciate you actually coming, though. You’re the first person I've talked to tonight who doesn’t throw themselves at me before I can even say hello.’ 
You laugh at his words. ‘Sorry for not throwing myself at you. Though I’m sure you’re used to it by now.’ you say.
Nikolai laughs as well. ‘Don’t apologise, it’s refreshing.’ he says.  
The two of you are silent as you look at the plants that surround you. It’s rather peaceful, being away from the buzzing ball room and just sitting on a bench to have a conversation.
‘Why is this your favourite part or the gardens?’ you ask him after a while.
In response, Nikolai points to a bush of bright yellow flowers. ‘Those are my favourites.’ he says. ‘Native to Novyi Zem, but Grisha can make sure they can grow here as well. They bloom for very short periods of time, mostly it’s just one week during summer. That’s why the Zemeni call them Summer’s Week. They’ve always been my favourite flowers. I always visit this spot during each summer, to see them bloom.’ he explains.
‘They’re beautiful.’ you say. ‘Such a shame we don’t have gardens like this in Ketterdam. I would have loved to spend more time here.’
‘I’d invite you to stay, but that would mean I'd have to propose and you made it very clear you want to go back to Ketterdam.’ says Nikolai. 
He gets up and walks over to the bush with the yellow flowers. You watch as he carefully picks one and walks back to you. He smiles as he hands it to you.
‘You can have one.’ he says. ‘If it still looks good when you get to Ketterdam, you can dry it, keep it between the pages of a book or something.’ he says.
You smile as you take the flower from him. ‘Thank you.’ you say. 
Nikolai looks back in the direction of the palace, though you can’t see it from here. 
‘I should go back.’ he says. ‘They’re probably wondering where I am, and I’d rather not have Zoya organise a search party.’
‘She’d do that?’ you say.
‘You have no idea what she’s capable of.’ says Nikolai, offering you his arm once more. You accept it and rise to your feet. 
As you start to walk back to the palace, Nikolai looks at you and smiles when he catches your eye.
‘This has been nice.’ he says.
‘The gardens?’ you say.
‘I can visit the gardens any time I like. No, talking with you. You allow me to be Nikolai. Everyone in that ball room only thinks of me as a king. They only think of themselves as future queens.’ he says.
‘But they are potential queens.’ you say. Nikolai looks at you and you remember his words. ‘Right.’ you say. ‘For Ravka.’
You see the palace appear in the distance, and by the looks of it the ball is still in full swing. You sigh softly, not looking forward to reuniting with your father and having him yell at you.
‘Well, here we are.’ says Nikolai, stopping in front of the palace. He motions to your left. ‘The doors are that way.’ he says. ‘And even though there are no gardens over there, we do have a lake which is also very nice.’ he says while motioning to your right.
You let go of his arm and frown. ‘You don’t want me to return to the ball?’ you say.
Nikolai merely shrugs. ‘Why would I? You don’t want to go there, and I’m not your king so technically, you don’t have to do anything I say.’ he says.
‘You really are an extraordinary king.’ you say, making him smile. ‘I see why your people love you so much.’ 
‘Hearing anyone say that means a lot to me.’ says Nikolai. He moves to stand in front of you. ‘Are you sure I can’t convince you to come and have one dance with me?’ he says.
You smile. ‘I think I’ll check out the lake.’ you say.
‘Alright then.’ says Nikolai, walking away toward the doors. ‘But watch out for the sea monster, though.’ he adds.
Your eyes widen. ‘You have a sea monster in your lake?’ you say.
But you never found out the answer. Before Nikolai can say anything, you hear a sound you know all tho well. How could you not recognise it after living in Ketterdam for years? 
Gunshots. Two of them. 
You watch as Nikolai falls to the floor, blood soaking his shoulder and stomach.
A/N: If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rules Here’s the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please don’t repost my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading! Much love, Marit
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stillwithkoo · 4 years
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Royal Spies and Everything Nice
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Summary: It's hard being a princess who's also an undercover spy, but with the help of your rival and sort of boyfrienemy Prince Jeon, maybe you'll make it through alive.
Tags & warnings: fluff, angst, some violence, just beware- jk. Rivals2luvers, some shrek characters make an appearance cos i smoke cracK das wut i smoke. Smut in the end, a lil cussing etc.
Pairing: Jungkook x Reader
Commissioned for @nochusyn 💋 tysm for being so patient ilyyy and im so happy i didn't d13 so i could finish this! Shsh xx (if y'all wanna commission me just message me here on tumblr!)
Wc: 10k+++
A/N: I almost di3d writing this so pls read it n check it out char- begging? Lol jk. But fr, I was so sick with 39.5 fevers and I didn't even know when i would finish it but I'm so happy I finally did today! This is also like a late jk bday present. Ily all and JK always! 💜
Once upon a time in the futuristic land of Royalea, a secret spy academy was made for royals to train and become professional spies. After years of suffering from invaders and having their kin kidnapped and slain by the same invader rebels, the royals wanted to put a stop to it all, they wanted to protect their children, their future heirs.
They had learned from their past mistakes and devised a plan to become stronger. They strictly trained their children at a young age to help in preparing them to face all kinds of enemies. So that when the time comes, they will be able to protect themselves. They won't be the ones cowering in fear, feeling helpless and begging for mercy at the hands of their enemies.
They will be the ones invading other lands and eradicating anyone who threatens to come in their way. That is how they innovated their land. With their newfound courage and mindset. Within just a few years of establishing the academy, they had the latest gadgets and technology the neighboring countries would envy. Their princes and princesses trained brilliant in combat. To them, it didn't make their heirs any less poised and graceful just because they knew how to fight. Those times are done, and they knew what was most important having witnessed the chaotic events that happened before.
Although most of them thought that- not everyone did. A few royals still wanted to live the traditional way, they preferred to raise their royal children by the book and with grace, as they say. They reasoned that their heirs' responsibilities were to lead a land, not play as guards. They were curious about the superb technology their land had now, but they limited their use of it. Your parents were one of those traditional royals.
The queen was about to enjoy the morning's prepared feast, when she caught you in the corner of her eye wearing a cloak heading for the door. You were probably planning to sneak out before breakfast again. "Y/N, come back here dear. You were trying to sneak out again right? Where have you been running off to these days? I hope it's not where I think it is, because I've told you not to go there-" The queen had ranted but you cut her off. "It's not where you think it is okay? But even if it was, why won't you let me go anyway? How will I be safe If I don't know how to defend myself?"
"You know why we forbid you to go to that place. You're safer here. You don't need to become a brute to be safe. That's why there are guards to protect you, you have your own knight Hoseok to protect you-" The queen rambled and explained only to be interrupted by you again. "Well I don't want to just rely on the guards and my knight, your majesty. I wanna be able to protect myself whenever and wherever. You say I'm safer here, but you can't always assure that. I don't know why you won't just let me be a-" It was the queen's turn to interrupt you, "And I don't know why you keep on insisting to disrespect and disobey me. Don't finish that sentence or you'll regret it princess. Actually, If you won't listen to me then maybe you'd be better off inside your room the whole day. Guards, please escort Princess Y/N to her room and make sure she doesn't leave the palace."
"This is so unfair! Why are you doing this to me?" You exclaimed. "You know why, my child. It's because I only want to keep you safe. I'm doing this for you so don't dare to disobey me again, or you might have to stay in your tower for a year again." The queen warned. You didn't bother to retort anymore, it was futile.
You were bored, your breakfast was sent to your room but you didn't have the appetite to eat. You were supposed to be assigned to a new mission today, it just sucks that your mother had seen you on the way out. All of it sucked. This castle you're in, your mother, (though you loved her deeply, she can sometimes be so difficult and strict.) everyone on this planet, Prince Jeon, wait… Jeon Jungkook. That's it! Maybe if his panties aren't in a twist today- maybe he can help you get out. It won't hurt to try though, so that's what you decided to do. You took your phone and messaged him.
To Agent 🐰: 9:18 am
Hey bunny I need your help.
To Agent 🦊 princess: 9:19 am
And why should I help you? 🤔
To Agent 🐰: 9:20 am
Because I'm stuck here and I can't fight you if I can't get out. So come here and get me 😜
To Agent 🦊 princess: 9:21 am
Touché. But what's the magic word princess? 😉 you need to say it.
To Agent 🐰: 9:22 am
Ughh. Fr? Fine. Pls help me my furry prince and hurryyyy.
To Agent 🦊 princess: 9:23 am
I'm otw my princess. And for the Nth time I told you I'm not a furry!
Jungkook arrived to the palace after a while, the queen was always delighted to see his presence. "Prince Jungkook, It's a pleasure to see you. If you don't mind me asking, what brings you here today?" the queen inquired. "It's a pleasure to see you too your majesty. I actually came here to see Princess Y/N, is she busy?" Jungkook said albeit knowing you were stuck in your room.
"Oh not really. Let me ask the maids to get her for you."
"Um, if you don't mind your majesty, I can just go into her room myself. If that's okay?" Jungkook asked. "Of course that's okay dear. You know where her room is right?" Jungkook nodded.
Jungkook was taking a little too long, you thought. If only you had another choice, you wouldn't conspire with that annoying prince. After a few seconds, you heard someone knocking on your door. Could it be him? "Jungkook is that you?" you inquired. "No, I'm not Jungkook miss. I'm just your friendly neighborhood spiderman." you opened the door and there stood the handsome ebony haired prince. "Spiderman your ass, what took you so long? I've been waiting here for ages!" You whined. "Sorry princess, I did try to hurry a little for you. Anyway, what's the plan?" The prince said as he sat and made himself comfortable in your bed.
"Hmm. I was thinking maybe you could convince my mother to let me go out with you today," You looked at him directly, trying to convey what your plan is with your eyes. "Even though I'm supposed to be grounded. Maybe you could tell her that we're gonna practice archery, or we're gonna conquer other lands, whatever just do your thing. As gross as it is and I don't know why but, she's quite fond of you so- help me get out of here." Jungkook stares at you and notices how your long brown wavy hair falls over your face. He always thought your hairstyle matched perfectly to your face. You were actually kind of perfect to him. But he'll never tell you that of course, even if you or someone threatened to kill him.
"And what do I get by helping you princess?" He smirked. He loved teasing you and making you irritated, he thought it was kind of cute how your face would turn red from anger after he irritated the shit out of you and when you get flustered. Everytime he teased you he couldn't help but think you were sort of cute. "You can get the satisfaction of me letting you get more points on the top spies leaderboard." You replied smartly.
"As if you'd let me do that without chewing my ear off. Please give me something that's actually factual."
"Fine. Hmm, how about me promising not to insult you for a week even if you annoy the hell out of me?" You suggested smiling a little manipulatively at him. "Eh, that's lame. How about you do me a dare and maybe I'll agree to your planposal." He retorted and smirked arrogantly. You hated when he smiled like that, he's always so cocky and just because he looked handsome as hell- not that you'll admit it out loud ever, doesn't mean you'll fall for his insufferable cute ass. Wait did you just say handsome and cute? Ew. You meant evil. Yes that's what you meant… Anyway.
"Please don't say planposal ever again," You rolled your eyes at him. "Regardless, it depends on what the dare is. If you want me to run around naked and flash the whole kingdom then that's not gonna happen baby." You told him strictly.
"Don't worry princess, as satisfying that concept is for me, I don't wanna be the cause of blindness and curse the whole land." What the heck did he mean? Did he just insult me? "Whatever, Jeon. Just tell me what you want." You demanded.
"I want you." What? Did his last tiny brain cell die and now he's talking nonsense?
"What?" you replied flustered by his weird statement.
"I want you to do this mission for me. That's my dare. Why are you flustered though? Did you think about something else?" He taunted and smirked again, It's like he never stops being cocky when he's around you.
"Of course not. I'm not delusional like you. And what mission is it that you can't seem to do it yourself? Is Prince Jeon a little scared?"
"I'm not scared. It's just no fun to do it myself when I can have my princess to do it for me. That's my condition though if you want me to help you get out of here. I'll help you escape, and you'll help me when you're out. Is it a deal?"
"Hmm, tell me what mission is it and maybe I'll agree." You proposed. "You'll know when you do it, so I'm not telling you right now. Also, I want you to do another little thing for me." He grinned evilly. You have a feeling you're gonna hate him even more for what he's about to make you do. Nevertheless you agreed, if that meant he'd help you get away from your mother today. [INSERT PIC]
You were finally able to get out of the palace thanks to Jeon Jungkook's annoying face. You don't know how he charmed your mother, but at least she bought the act that the two of you were practicing your archery skills. You got what you wanted, but at the cost of your ego. You couldn't believe you actually praised Jeon Jungkook in public and embarrassed yourself on social media. Anyhow, the two of you were now on the way to the academy riding your respective monocycles. (the ones the guys in Men in Black used to ride, if you've seen the movie.)
It didn't take long for you to arrive, and before the other royal spies could see that you two came together, you already told Jungkook to maintain some distance beforehand, and act as if you didn't just hangout awhile ago.
You parked your monocycle and just as you were about to go inside the academy, you noticed how Jeon Jungkook gathered the attention of some girls and even boys too. Maybe it was the way his hair still looked perfect and fluffy in the wind, or the way he walked so gracefully just how a prince should. Either way, you couldn't deny how popular he was. He was every prince/princess' dream guy. No one could resist him, and maybe you couldn't too, maybe that's why you loathe him a lot.
In Prince Jungkook's defense, it wasn't his fault he was born so damn beautiful. He didn't pretend that he didn't notice the stares and the attention people gave him. But he also wasn't so cocky about it. He was still quite humble if he might say, and he was a shy guy too. He didn't actually care about everyone's attention, well maybe except one. It was still confusing to him how you always thought he was cocky because he was popular, as if you weren't cocky and popular too? He wondered if you noticed the other princes gawking at you when you walk by, or the insecure princesses rolling their eyes because they can't be you. You weren't even just a princess, you were one of the best spies in the academy too.
You were practicing your knife throwing skills when you noticed a presence beside you.
"Go on continue, don't mind my gorgeous presence here." He said.
"What are you doing here Jeon? And what do you want? I'm busy," you retorted. "I just wanted to remind you about our deal princess. The mission I want you to do, it's at 1800. Just wanted you to be ready."
"I'm always ready Jeon."
"I know but you might need a good luck from me personally for this one, that's why I came to see you before you go. Good luck my princess, be safe." He said and left you wondering if the mission was truly as dangerous as he hinted.
It turned out that the mission was quite harder than you expected. You had to overthrow a mad king, but not just any mad king- he was a retired superspy too. It didn't help that his army were giant killer robots, and although you've trained at a young age, it was still a little difficult to defeat them alone. You understand now why Jungkook made you do this mission, it was a trap.
That insufferable prince- he'll see when you get out of this hell hole, if you get out of here alive he'll really get his ass kicked. "Ballsacks!" you cursed as you barely dodged the laser beam the giant robot just shot at you. You were debating now if you should call reinforcements but you didn't wanna lower your pride for him even more. You didn’t wanna give him the satisfaction of knowing you're failing this mission.
Just as you thought you were gonna get crushed by one of the ginormous robots- to your surprise, the nasty thing got blown into bits.
"I knew these bubblegum bombs would come in handy someday," the voice spoke. "It's really unprofessional of you to leave your gadgets behind princess. You should be thankful I decided to bring them here to you." Of course it was the insufferable agent rabbit.
"What are you doing here Jeon?" you inquired rudely.
"What does it look like I'm doing Y/N? I'm saving your ass from getting killed." he retorted, and you were taken aback when he called you by your first name. It was a rule that agents should call each other by their codenames, you wondered if he forgot about that. "How dare you call me by my name! You know that isn't allowed. Call me by my codename you idiot, and I don't need you to save me, I can save myself thank you very much." You retorted.
"You called me by my name first! Whatever, and sure you can, you were obviously not about to get crushed just five minutes ago. I didn't even get a sincere thanks from you 'cause in case you forgot, just like how you forgot your gadgets, I saved you princess." he said snarkily. "Well, I didn't ask you to, but fine thanks a lot! I'm so grateful you saved me. Happy now?" So what if he saved your ass this time, it's not like he saved the world? And you were only in this predicament because of him anyway. This was his mission and he made you do it, maybe it was your fault for underestimating the mission hence, you only brought a few gadgets- but that's not even such a big deal. So why is he blaming you and making such a fuss about this? You really despised his ass.
"That still sounds so insincere princess, but sure I'll accept that, we have bigger robots to fry right now anyway-"
"Don't stop attacking them annihilate them fast!" The mad king exclaimed as he instructed his gigantic robots to attack the two of you even harder. You heard his minions reply and called him Agust, maybe that was his name. Jungkook and you were hiding at this point, their attacks were getting stronger and you really needed to finish this mission fast but that's still a problem for now. Luckily Jungkook thought of a plan, and he decided you should use the remaining bubblegum bombs to destroy all the massive robots, but you had to chew the gums first before blowing it on them.
You blew the last one on the king and successfully eradicated his existence for good. It was satisfying to defeat him albeit it wasn't that easy.
"Ugh, finally we can go home now." Jungkook whined. "Yeah, mayhaps I can't believe we could work as a team." You added. "A team? I did all the work though? Without me you'd probably be-" you cut him off, "Yeah sure, whatever but I still helped blow the gum bombs! Anyway, we better leave now my mother's probably worried."
"I would be too, if I had a daughter like you." he remarked. "What's that supposed to mean Jeon?" You glared at him. "Oh nothing, nothing my princess." there he goes again smirking like a cocky idiot. Gross. He didn't even stop grinning when you rode your monocycles all the way home.
~♡~
"Prince Jeon, Princess Y/N, It's late. What took you so long?" The King inquired. You were surprised to say the least that it wasn't your mother, the queen who was waiting for you when you arrived. "Sorry if I took her out so long your majesty, we decided to visit my kingdom after practicing archery and got distracted. We didn't realize the sun had already set when we were done, my apologies." Jungkook smoothly reasoned.
"It's fine, next time just don't stay out too late. Though Y/N dear, what happened to your dress? It's as dirty as a peasant! Is that how a princess should behave and carry herself? You're lucky your mother isn't here and on an emergency meeting right now, or you'll be grounded for life!" Your father added. "Dad I-" you were about to defend yourself and explain when Jungkook cut you off.
"It's actually my fault, your majesty. Please don't blame Princess Y/N. We were playing at the castle, and mayhaps we had too much fun. I apologize again, your majesty." Jungkook looked at you in a conspiring way, as if to tell you to ride along with his story. "Very well. You should stop apologizing son, accidents can happen." Wow. Your father didn't get mad at the obnoxious rabbit prince, but he got mad at you, how fracking fair. It's totally fine. You truly felt great. "Although you both should always be mindful of how you look and your actions, you are royalty after all." The king added.
"Of course dad, even though I didn't ask to be born like this…" You quipped, voice lowering a little as you finished saying it. "What did you say Y/N?" "Nothing dad, can I go eat dinner now? I'm hungry as heck. Bye Jeon, have a safe trip on the way home." You told Jungkook and were already heading to the dining area when your father decided to say something that stopped you from going there completely, "Mind your language dear, also it's truly quite late, aren't you starving Prince Jungkook?" The king inquired, staring at Jungkook to check his reaction. "Um, It's late your majesty I should be heading home, and I don't know if Princess Y/N wants me to eat with her…" You glared at him and mouthed 'What the fck Jeon? You frackin pig!' well obnoxiously he looked like a rabbit with his big bunny teeth, but the way he was acting now- he was like a starving pig. The king ignored what Jungkook said and told him, "Nonsense boy! I'm sure Princess Y/N will be delighted to have you join us for dinner. I already ate actually, but I'd love to join you both for dinner again I could get some snack- you can't always have enough snacks!" The king exclaimed enthusiastically.
"But dad-" you try to dissuade him to no avail, "No buts my lovely daughter, Prince Jungkook will be joining us for dinner. You should probably change your clothes before you eat dinner, Jungkook and I will head to the dining room first. Come along now Jungkook," The king beckoned as Jungkook followed him to the dining room. You were planning to have a peaceful dinner tonight, but of course Jeon Jungkook would ruin that as fracking always. When will he ever stop annoying you?
You went to your room begrudgingly, and changed into some casual clothes that were still appropriate for dinner but also for having an annoying guest eating with you. After a short while, you finally joined them to eat. You sat beside Jungkook and your father was at the center of the table. It wouldn't have been awkward if your father didn't start to ask obnoxious questions.
"So Prince Jeon, what have you been up to these days? Searching for potential wife candidates?" The king inquired. You glared at your father. Jungkook almost choked on a piece of steak he was eating, but he managed to answer after drinking some water. "Uh, I've been busy with my duties your majesty. Ensuring the safety of my people and thinking of ways to stop the remaining rebels. I haven't really had the time to look for potential wife candidates."
"Oh. It's good to hear that you prioritize the safety of your people Prince Jeon. But you're not getting any younger. Soon enough, you'll need a good wife to be your future queen and help you lead the kingdom. Do you have anyone in mind right now?" The king probed. "Dad- stop being so nosy." You said, annoyed and a little embarrassed. "I'm not, I'm just asking the boy if he has an idea or a person in mind to be his future queen. So do you, Prince Jeon?"
"Um- as I've said your majesty, I'm too busy to think about marriage right now. I'm still young though, so I'm not that in a hurry to get married." Jungkook replied a little uncomfortable but still respectful. "That's comprehensible. I think Y/N here," Your father said while looking at you, "is the same too."
"Although, I have someone in mind for her already." The king announced, making Jungkook feel something weird inside him. Jungkook wondered what the king meant- or who he meant? For some crazy reason, he can't imagine you marrying someone. Or someone else… Of course not that he wants to marry you! But- maybe it wouldn't be so bad at all too. "Okay, this conversation is over dad," You told the king. "We're done eating and Jungkook has to go home, so goodbye everyone I'm going to my room now." You stood up and went to your room in a hurry.
"But Y/N I'm not done talking you brat! I still haven't finished this delicious croissant-" The king quipped disappointedly. "She's quite a disrespectful brat sometimes, I wonder who she got it from- forgive my daughter Jeon."
"It's okay your majesty, I was about to leave too. I'll be going now if you don't mind-"
"Wait-" Jungkook stood up and sat again because of what the king said. "I hope you're not mad at her, she really is a little hard to handle." The king looked at him pitifully, "Oh, I'm not your majesty. Though I won't disagree with you on that statement- about her being hard to handle I mean…" he joked.
"Yes, she is quite stubborn. But I'm sure you can handle her quite well." Jungkook was confused again, what did your father mean? "I'm sorry your majesty, I don't really get what you're trying to say?" The king looked him in the eye gleefully and said, "I'm saying, I like you- for her. I think the both of you would make a perfect match." Jungkook blushed, oh. So that's what he meant.
"Don't you agree Prince Jeon?" The king teased him further. "I-... Yes I suppose so, your majesty." He shyly replied. It would be rude to disagree, or say awful stuff. "That is- if you're not secretly a couple yet, are you not?"
"No!" Jungkook replied a little too loud. "I meant- no we aren't yet your majesty. We're not secretly seeing each other…" he backtracked, calmer now. "Oh, you aren't yet. That's alright, the two of you are still young- there's still a lot of time. We're just excited for your wedding and to see our grandchildren! But all in God's perfect timing- anyway sorry for keeping you here, have a safe trip home Prince Jeon! Hopefully you'll be calling me dad soon." The king whispered the last bit as Jungkook was finally on his way out of the palace, but he still heard it to his dismay, and it didn't help in making the forming blush on his cheeks go away. The thought of getting married with you isn't so appalling to him- but having kids right away… it was weird to think about. The whole conversation was weird to think about and yet it was the most constant thing on his mind the whole night.
~💜~
You were lucky the queen was still on an important meeting as you made your way out of the palace, or so you thought- when your father, the king shouted your name in your lawn. Of course he made you go back to your room, and unless you had important things to do outside you won't be able to go out. And because of that, you resorted to call the bunny prince for help again. So now, you're waiting for him to be your knight in shining armor and take you away from the palace again. After an hour of agony, he finally arrived and managed to convince your father with a shitty excuse to let you go with him. If you weren't seeing things, you might've thought they were whispering some secret information to each other. Your parents always looked like they were so elated to see that prince in the palace. Your dad was being weird now too. Men are such eerie creatures, you thought.
"Hey Jeon. What were you whispering about to my dad a while ago?" You called to him as you rode your speedy monocycles. "What?" Mayhaps he didn't hear you, as the wind gushed too loud. "I said- nevermind." You didn't bother to ask him what they talked about anymore, maybe it didn't matter anyway. You were nearing the academy, and you parked your monocycle right away when you arrived. Not bothering to look at him and see his fangirls flocking over him again.
You were practicing with throwing your dart knives when you overheard a girl and a familiar someone talking. "Baby! You're always so hot and perfect! you're on the top spies leaderboard again, marry me please!" Her rat-like voice annoyed you, so you decided to stare at her in hopes that she'll feel a little embarrassed at least. But to no avail, she only continued her mouth breathing sentiments."I don't mean to be rude Princess Fiona, but I'm not ready to get married right now." or ever with you, Jungkook wanted to add- but he only did in his mind.
And of course, the cause of this headache inducing fiasco is no other than Prince Jungkook, why are you even surprised? Why can't they be annoying somewhere else? Probably a million miles away from you? "Oh, I don't mean right away silly. Maybe in a few weeks or months? I just know we're meant to be my prince." Gawd, you're actually praying for her future husband. Hopefully he can stand her annoying rat-ogre voice. "I'm sorry Fiona, I really think I'm not the right guy for you. Although I heard Lord Farquaad seemed to have feelings for you." Jungkook suggested. "What? Lord Farquaad? Ew, he's a midget gross. Is that why you won't marry me? Are you jealous baby? You don't have to be!" she squealed and giggled, you had to stop yourself for aiming at her face, it wasn't the knife's fault and you were against animal cruelty anyway.
"No," Jungkook sighed, she wasn't getting it. "I'm not jealous. I just think you're better off with Lord Farquaad, and I'm better with…"
"Better with who? Oh please tell me Prince Jeon who's better with you rather than I?" She seemed to look around at other girls, hoping to find the answer to her question when Jungkook still couldn't reply. She only stopped when she noticed you looking at her too, so you looked away from her and turned your attention on a laser gun that was displayed instead. You were planning to tune them out fully, when she spoke something that triggered something in you. Something you didn't quite like.
"When you said you were better off with someone else, did you mean to say you were better off with someone like Princess Y/N? Are you serious Prince Jeon? She's not even that pretty, or that great of a spy." Hearing her utter those ill-founded words made your blood boil, how dare she point out your flaws and insecurity? You were already one of the best spies, yet you still trained to be a better spy everyday, even if you being a spy was against your parents' wishes- maybe that's why you couldn't control your next actions- you threw one of the dart knives at her direction.
Lucky for her, it missed her face by a centimeter. Actually, if you wanted to hit her you could've, but you just wanted to shut her up. And shut her up you did. She was too shocked to speak at first, too in awe at what happened. Until she regained her senses and confronted the perpetrator. "You! Y/N how dare you try to impale my face with that dirty knife! My father will hear about this!" she pointed at you looking mad and ogre-like at the same time.
"Oh stop being too dramatic Fiona, maybe it was an accident, I'm sure Y/N didn't mean to throw it at you." Jungkook said glancing your way, though it looked more like he was trying to save your ass rather than comfort the ogre like princess. "But I did though Jungkook. I meant to aim it at her to shut her up," You replied looking Fiona directly in the eyes. "See Jungkook? She didn't even deny it!" she exclaimed.
"Which I only did because of what you spoke about me. You had the audacity to insult and slander me, yet you got scared of almost getting what you deserved. Please Princess Fiona save it for someone who cares, it's not me or Jungkook but mayhaps another ogre does." You kept your knives and walked away from them. "Come back here you bitch! You still have to pay for almost murdering me!" she screamed wanting to follow you, but Jungkook held her back from doing so.
"Fiona stop harassing Y/N. You won't follow her nor will you continue to insult her, if you as much touch her hair or be near her- you'll be hearing from me. And I also won't hesitate to tell your father about what you're doing." Jungkook reprimanded her and left the fuming princess to follow after you.
Jungkook found you at another training station trying some new gadget that was actually quite useful to distract and even escape rebels, if you were in a hurry. You didn’t seem to notice him yet or you pretended not to, so he made his presence known by speaking first.
"That seems really handy, you could totally make use of that a lot when needing an escape for extremely hard missions." You were still ignoring him so he spoke again. "Not saying you always escape hard missions-" You interrupted him. "Then what are you saying Jeon? Just because I needed a little help from you on that difficult mission, doesn't mean I'll always need someone or something to save me. For the record, I don't always rely on gadgets to defeat enemies, I've successfully completed a lot of missions without them."
"I know that Y/N, I'm just trying to give you some advice." he retorted. "More like you're trying to prove to me that you're always right."
"But aren't I babe? I'm indeed always right,"
"Don't call me that, hearing you call me it just gave me a disease." You chided. "Oh really? I bet you secretly like it though, just like you like me." He boasted. "Wait what? Where did that come from? Are you on crack or did your last brain cell finally decided to leave you?" How dare he assume and say such horrendous things? He's probably hallucinating or something.
"Excuse me I don't do crack, but you don't have to deny it. I get it you're shy, and you were jealous of Fiona that's why you acted up a while ago-" he's truly insufferable. "Me Jealous? Please don't delude yourself, wake up from that dream it isn't healthy." You wanted to leave his delusional ass once more, but he prevented you from doing that when he cornered you to a wall and got too close for comfort. "I can prove it you know, that you're jealous," He was breathing hotly on your face, staring deeply into your eyes and slowly, he seemed to inch his face closer to yours- as if planning to steal a taste of your lips, you were so flustered that you decided to close your eyes. Waiting and kind of hoping to feel his soft lips on yours, but it never came.
Because just before Jungkook could kiss you, you heard someone cough, and the both of you decided to break apart from each other. "Ehem. Agent Y/N and Agent JK, I'm going to assign mission partners, you should both probably be at the assembly hall so you don't miss it." Your instructor said looking at the two of you weirdly. You both awkwardly looked at him back and nodded.
💜
"Agent Fiona and Agent Farquaad, you'll be partners for this mission and probably the succeeding ones too." Your instructor announced, Fiona grimaced seemingly disappointed with who her partner was but not bothering to say anything. Meanwhile, Farquaad had a smile on his face as he was partnered with the gal he liked. When your turn came, you couldn't believe the luck you just had to be partnered with the guy you wanted to avoid the most.
"Agent Y/N and Agent JK, you’ll be partners for this mission and the succeeding ones, as you both are the best spies in this academy." Your instructor said with gleam in his eyes. Did he plan this? Did he think you and Jungkook got along well because of what he almost saw a while ago? What the hell? What is he doing? You were having an internal monologue, as you were still having a hard time processing the fact that you'll have to spend more time with annoying Prince Jungkook again. You couldn't believe it, you wouldn't. Your mental breakdown was interrupted by someone's disgustingly familiar voice speaking to you,
"So, partners huh? I'd say I'm glad to be partnered by a top spy in our academy, but I'm not really sure I am. Maybe 'cause I loathe it as much as you do?" You glared at him. "As if I'll be partners with you," you retorted and stormed off to find your instructor to plead with him.
"Um. Excuse me sir, can I please switch partners?" you pleaded to your instructor when you found him. "Agent Y/N… I'm sorry, but I chose your partners for a reason. Also, Agent JK is one of the best spy princes. I don't understand why you don't wanna be partners with him?" He replied.
"I know sir, but- we just don't get along that well, and actually, I think I can handle a mission on my own just fine." you explained. "I'm one of the best spies as you've said, and we all know that's true so… Please?"
"I'm really sorry Agent Y/N, but my decision is final. Your partner is Agent JK, and if you have problems with each other right now, then hopefully this mission will help you guys resolve it, and make you feel closer." Your instructor paused for a bit, you didn't know why but he was seemingly and suddenly in deep thought. "If you don't mind me asking and I don't mean to be nosy, but are you guys having a lovers quarrel or something?" he inquired.
"W-what? Of course not sir! Me and him lovers? Not in this lifetime. Why did you even think of that if I may ask?" you were flustered but curious. Did your instructor think of that because of what he saw a while ago? You didn't even know what truly transpired between you and Jungkook in that moment, you just knew that it felt right and wrong at the same time. "I think you realize that I saw you both a while ago, you two were pretty close to each other. I just thought you might be dating. It's a little disappointing that you aren't but that's okay." you fought another blush that threatened to show in your cheeks because of what your instructor said.
"But sir- why would it be disappointing?" you asked dumbly. "It's a little disappointing because you two look great together. You're both compatible in my opinion," he said looking at you seriously. "You're both top spies, both popular within the academy and even outside of it, you're both competitive, but you complement each other. Should I tell you more?" you didn't know if he was asking rhetorically or if he really wanted you to answer that question, so you just looked at the walls of the academy instead. But you also thought about what he said, did you and Jungkook really complement each other?
"If you don't have anymore questions Agent YN, I'll be going now. I still have some tasks to do, but remember that I'm rooting for both of you." he smiled at you knowingly, and your instructor went back to his room. Whether he meant that in regards to you both being spies, or the concept of you and Jungkook dating, mayhaps it was both- you didn’t know. But you were more scared than curious to ponder about it and find out.
You still went home together with Jungkook despite of the awkward air around the two of you, even if you didn't wanna be partners with him mayhaps you didn't have any choice, so why bother complaining about it anymore. You both chose to stay silent during the ride on the way home, not really talking until you arrived at the palace.
👑
"You got home late again. What have you both been doing that's taking up your whole time and day?" The king inquired immediately when you both arrived. "Dad- we were just…" You replied until Jungkook cut you off again, he seemed to be doing that frequently these days.
"We were just hanging out as usual your majesty. Actually- we're hanging out too much because…" Jungkook hesitantly took a peek in your direction, "Because- we're dating." what in the name of crippled hairy ballsacks is he on now? Mayhaps he's really lost it and now cursing you.
"What the hell are you talking about Jeon?" you yelled and glared at him. He looked like he was trying to talk to you telepathically with his eyes, because he obviously can't do it with his mind. "Y/N- can you just play along-" he whispered to you. Your father wasn't all too happy with the way you screamed and cursed though, so he reprimanded you again. "Princess Y/N! Your language!" he also yelled brows furrowed in disappointment. "Have you forgotten your manners? A princess doesn't act like a tasteless fool!" he chided, you ignored him and pretended that you didn’t hear him. You just wanted to go to your room and disappear forever.
"And you Prince Jeon, is what you're saying the truth?" The king said as he looked at Jungkook pointedly. "Are you and Y/N truly dating? Why haven't you told us this? When did you both even start seeing each other?"
"Your majesty I can explain. Please don't be furious at us- or at least at Y/N that much-" Jungkook reasoned. "We wanted to keep it a secret for a while, as we were afraid of your reaction."
"Well aren't you afraid now? You just confessed your relationship in front of me." The king said. "We still are. Though I thought maybe you needed to know now, because secrets aren't meant to be kept forever." Jungkook explained.
"And is that truly the reason why you keep visiting Princess Y/N here and having all your rendezvous?" The king inquired again. "Well obviously dad, didn't you hear what he said?" You retorted smartly. You decided you were going to go with whatever this ballsack show Jungkook wants to play, if that meant your real secret won't be found out. (that is if they don't know of it already and are just letting you go for now.) Anyway, If this fake relationship is your escape pass then so be it. You were still planning to confront Jungkook about this shit show later though.
"Stop being sassy you brat, I wasn't talking to you, I was clearly asking our prince here." your dad scolded you. "Did you even court her properly Prince Jeon? I hope you did everything you can to truly deserve her heart."
"I- I did…Your majesty. I can tell you all about how I wooed her during dinner. That is if you'll allow me to stay for dinner?" Jungkook somewhat smoothly replied. You gave him a grim warning look- because he was really pushing it. Though mayhaps, you supposed him staying for dinner wouldn't be so insufferable- since you could talk to him after, and discuss what's going on in his heinous mind.
"Alright, Prince Jeon. You can stay for dinner, and maybe you can convince me if you're truly fitting for my dear Princess Y/N." The king replied.
👸🤴👑
Your father and Jungkook chatted amicably, though the king interrogated Jungkook a lot about your relationship. The king asked about how you both realized you were in love with each other, which was awkward because you weren't really in love. You let Jungkook do all the talking since he's a better liar in your opinion. Your father even had the audacity to ask when was your first kiss together? To which Jungkook almost choked on his water, while his cheeks burned red. It didn't seem like he'd stop interrogating Jungkook soon, so before he could ask Jungkook more personal questions like, if you'd slept together already- (It was common for the new generation of royals in your land to sleep around even before being wed.) You decided to interrupt and end their conversation.
You excused yourself from the table, telling your father you were full, and took Jungkook with you. The king surprisingly allowed you to go without a lot of fuss, but he did shoot you both suggestive looks. When you got to your room, Jungkook seemed to be relieved that you stopped the king from torturing him even further. Maybe using the word 'torturing' was a bit harsh- but that was kinda what Jungkook felt when your father asked him all those personal questions. Not that he was truly in pain, but more like he felt weird thinking about all the little white lies he told the king. He wondered if in the future it might come true? Would he still feel awkward or would he enjoy it? He was interrupted from his pondering when he heard your adorable voice, he realized you were talking to him.
"Hello?? Earth to rabbit prince? I was asking you a question but you seemed to be on planet mars or something," You commented while sitting on your bed. "Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about some stuff and things…" He was thinking about the possibilities of you and him- was what he wanted to say, but he'll probably never say it even if he was blackmailed by an enemy. "Stuff and things huh? Are you the main lead of Walking Dead now? Anyway- I was just asking you why you suddenly decided that we should fake date?"
"I-" Jungkook sighed while sitting on the chair near your bed, "I thought you had the idea why already," he simply replied. "Well, maybe I do have an idea." you told him. "But is my idea correct? Did you do it so I could go on missions without having a hard time sneaking out on my parents?"
"I guess. Mayhaps, I wanted to help you in a way." he shyly admitted, avoiding looking at your direction. "For real though? Why? What's in it for you?" you inquired, curious as to why he did such things to help you. "I don't know, maybe just because," was his curt reply. "Just because? What kind of answer is that? It doesn't make sense. I still want to know Jungkook," you probed.
"Maybe it's just because I can okay?" you looked at him still unconvinced. "Fine- maybe because I feel a little bad for you. You have boomer parents who still think you should stick to being a prim and proper princess, when we both know how much you want to be an amazing superspy too. And you already are," He told you, looking at you proudly. "But, I know how much you want to protect yourself and the people you love. I know that you love being a spy and going on missions. So maybe, that's why I made the whole fake dating show." He proclaimed.
"Okay...that seems comprehensible. You didn't have to do it, but you still did anyway. So I wanna thank you for that." you told Jungkook honestly. "Actually I was mad at first, I was confused about what your plan was. I didn't realize you were doing it for me. But when I did, I guessed it didn't seem so bad after all." you confessed looking at him shyly. "It's okay, I didn't tell you about it beforehand too. So I can understand why you were mad." he replied.
"Uh… yeah. Though, I'm still sorry for being rude. I guess we'll have to get along because we're partners now anyway." you suggested. "Okay, I guess we should try to be friends since we're partners now." Jungkook replied. Maybe being friends with Jungkook wouldn't be so bad.
👑
Your first official mission with Jungkook was at a nearby kingdom. It was reigned by the Kim family, and now ruled by their obnoxious tyrant son, Kim Seokjin. His beloved parents have been deceased for a few years now, that is why he's became king, and is doing whatever he wants with the land. Your mission is to teach him a lesson; and that is to learn how to share his wealth to his people. He doesn't care about anyone but himself. He's using up all the land's wealth for his selfish needs, and leaving his people to die of hunger and starvation.
Meeting King Seokjin was quite amusing. He didn't even spare you a glance as he sat on his throne, and looked at his face in his handheld mirror. He seemed to focus on his face only, quite a narcissistic trait. He also didn't seem to take you both seriously when you told him that he should change his ways- before it's too late. That is why you had no choice but to make him listen to you even if you had to exert a little force.
You had shot the wall near where he was sitting with your laser gun, (you also finally decided to bring a few gadgets just in case.) therefore catching his attention, finally. "What the hell? Are you deranged? Why did you do that you imbecile! You could've hit my beautiful face! I could have you killed for trying to scratch my gorgeous face you know!" King Seokjin exclaimed. "Well we had to get your attention you narcissistic king. You won't listen to us." Jungkook answered him for you.
"Stop acting like a spoiled child, and help your people. They need you." You retorted. "Who are you peasants to even tell me what to do?!! Actually, how did you both even get inside here? Guards!" the tyrant king screamed. "We're just people who were sent to teach you a lesson. Your guards are asleep if you must know. We kind of knocked them out, sorry about that your majesty." Jungkook quipped.
"Who are you heathens? I don't have time for your tomfoolery, so if it's money you want then just tell me how much and maybe I'll give you some." King Seokjin proclaimed. "We don't want any of your dirty money. What we want is that you learn how to share them with your people." You chided. "Share my money with commoners? What kind of ridiculous thing are you talking about? I'll never share my wealth with useless peasants! Never!"
"The useless peasants you called are the ones feeding you, and are the source of the food you eat. You don't even pay them for their rice and crops, you only know how to take but never give back." "I don't care what you say! I'm not sharing my money with slaves or anyone else even til I die!" he screamed. It seemed like he truly wasn't gonna cooperate or change his ways, so you had to resort to doing things by force yet again.
"Fine, you're really not gonna change? Then we'll just have to make you then." You announced to him. "Oh. please make me!" King Seokjin mocked. "Oh we really are, until you learn your lesson you selfish king." Jungkook retorted. And before he could reply or notice, you were both tying him up on his chair that he loves sitting on. And when he realized what you had done, it was too late and he couldn't move anymore. "What are you doing? Let me go! You'll pay for this you crazies!"
"I think we won't be paying for anything unlike you, your majesty. Now if you don't want us to carry you and leave you outside for the townspeople to beat up- you'll give us the money to pay your people." Jungkook demanded. "How dare you threaten me?! I'm not scared of you buffoons! And I'm not giving you any of my money! If you don't untie me this instant, you'll truly regret it! I promise you both!" He exclaimed. "I see you still won't cooperate with us, Okay. Let's go agent Fox."
Jungkook motioned for you to untie King Seokjin on the chair, only to tie him up again as Jungkook carried him down his throne. You were about to go out and leave him on the streets for the townspeople to beat up, when he suddenly screamed and begged you both not to. "Wait! Are you really gonna leave me out there to get beaten up?! Please don't! They'll ruin my beautiful face! Ok- Okay! I'll tell you where my money is and share them to my people! Just put me down please!"
"Are you seriously gonna help your people now? Do you promise?" Jungkook inquired. "Yes! Yes I promise! Now please put me down." King Seokjin replied. Jungkook put him back on his throne and you both waited for him to do what he promised. After getting some money from his secret vault, he then fulfilled his promise of paying the people he's been indebted with for so long. You both went with him to visit the townspeople he neglected and left to starve. Surprisingly, he paid them without so much fuss and no complaints from him. Even the townspeople were shocked at his sudden actions.
After giving the people the money they deserved, You were both surprised to be invited by the King for dinner. He explained that he wanted to thank you for making him realize his selfish ways, and he wanted to show you how grateful he was by letting you enjoy a good meal. Not wanting to be rude and mayhaps you were both kinda hungry too, you accepted his offer of dinner.
The dinner with the king went well. Mayhaps too well that is. You were just finishing your dessert when you felt a little light headed. You didn’t wanna think about it too much and ignored it, but then you felt dizzy. You decided to ask Jungkook if he felt the same weird feeling you felt but when you looked at him sitting beside you he was already knocked out on the table. Something seems amiss. "Excuse me King Seokjin, there's something wrong with your food. Did you put something in it?" you asked struggling to stay conscious. You knew you were right, when you looked at the treacherous king. He was grinning. "Oh. Did I? It's such a shame you caught on too late my dear. Have a nice slumber!" You were really gonna kick his ass when you regain your strength. But for now you had no choice but to succumb to the darkness inviting you so enticingly. Your last memory being King Seokjin's taunting and laughing face.
You woke up confused and unsure of where you were, til you remembered the events of yesterday. The narcissistic king. The dinner. Jungkook. You guys blacked out. It was morning you guessed, but you couldn't really see anything since you had been blindfolded. Your other senses were more alert since you couldn't see, but you just wanted to feel if Jungkook was there with you. If he was near you. "Agent Bunny…? Are you here? Are you near me?" you called, you were glad the crazy king didn't tape your mouth to shut you up so you could call out for your partner. You were starting to get nervous because you didn't hear Jungkook respond right away. What if King Seokjin did something to him? Where did he take him?
You wanted to escape at that moment and find Jungkook, but you realized your hands were tied up. You couldn't do so much but try to thrash around and be free. Your gadgets were probably confiscated too, so you couldn't use them. You were still trying to escape when you heard a muffled sound that made you stop. Was it Jungkook? "Agent Bunny! Was that you? Are you okay? I'll get us out of here, don't worry!" Jungkook tried to reply, but of course all you heard was his muffled voice. You thrashed again as if it'll help you, when the traitor king made his presence obvious. "Oh you should worry. If you don't stop moving around, the rope that's holding you might snap. And you wouldn't want to know where you'll be falling into." he chided.
The rope that's holding you? What did he mean? Weren't you sitting down on a chair? Wait- is that why it feels weird and unstable? Are you… hanging in the air? Ballsacks. "Fine, since I'm feeling a little merciful today, I'll let your partner or is he your boyfriend? give you a little warning." the king said as he removed the cover on Jungkook's mouth, "Y/N- I meant- agent Fox! stop moving! The rope that's holding your chair is weak, If it snaps you'll fall into a piranha tank!" In Jungkook's haste to warn you, he forgot and called you by your real name again.
You didn't really mind his mistake that much right now, until the obnoxious king taunted you. "Wait- did I hear that right? Did your boyfriend just call you Y/N? Is that your name princess? It is isn't it? A dreadful name for a dreadful girl!" You weren't actually tasked to kill him but you just might. How dare he slander your name? Just he wait til you get out of here alive, you'll absolutely kick his ass! "Shut up you're the dreadful one Kim Seokjin! How dare you call her that, and insult her name!" Jungkook defended you.
"Yada yada. You're the one who should shut up. Do you want to be muffled again?" the king threatened your partner. "Let us go you foolish king! What do you gain from doing all of this anyway?" You inquired. "And what if I don't huh? What are you gonna do about it? Nothing! You can't do anything you tied up fools! You asked me what do I gain from this? A satisfying revenge! And now your boyfriend is gonna see you get eaten by piranhas, but he won't be able to do anything but watch." He retorted.
Of course it makes sense how Jungkook was able to see where you were right now, the king didn't blindfold Jungkook like he did with you. But he covered his mouth instead. "You're wrong, King Seokjin. I'm gonna save her and you can't stop me!" Jungkook screamed furious at the king. "And how are you planning to do that? You can't even get up from your seat. I'd tell you I'd like to see you try, but I've already wasted too much of my precious time for this nonsense." King Seokjin yawned seemingly to show his boredom and annoyance. "Guards! Pull the rope and bring her down." He ordered to them, but before they could pull the rope and feed you to the piranhas- a commotion happened.
And there stood, two people you didn't expect to see. "Our instructor was wondering where you two were ya know? Tsk. For supposedly being the best spies you two are getting rusty." Fiona the ogre looking princess said. "Anyway, sir told us to find you guys and save your asses, that's why we're here. I don't like you but sir asked us to save you both- so it's whatever." Fiona said as she got rid of the guards who were still trying to pull you down. Of course Agent Farquaad came with her too, and he was the one who helped untie Jungkook. Seokjin was still shookt at how his plans crumbled ever so quickly, that he just stood there mouth agape.
For the first time in your life, you were kinda relieved to see her. You finally got out of your restraints and you wanted to face King Seokjin right away, but Fiona's next words stopped you. "Now that we've saved you both, our job here is done. Though next time, try to do your job better idiots so we don't have to do it for you." she told you as they were about to go, you didn't have the time to get mad at her so you just ignored her, but before they actually did she told you one last thing. "Oh I almost forgot, there are rumors about rebels planning to attack this dumb king who hostaged you. They might be on the way here now. We'd love to help ya guys, but we have other rebels from another city to take care of. So ttyl!" and then she scurried off with her partner.
Well it's not like you can't fight the rebels yourselves, but an earlier warning would've been nice. You moved closer to Jungkook who was keeping an eye on the now submissive king. "So bunny, what's the plan now?" you inquired. "I guess we wait for them to arrive and defeat them all." was his reply. You nodded in agreement, of course that's what you're going to do.
The rebels arrived not long after, and it was quite a taxing battle, but nothing you weren't used to. They carried high tech weapons too, but you managed to steal some from them and use it on them. Just as one rebel almost shot King Seokjin, you managed to pull him to the side just in time and save his plumpous ass. To say he was shocked that you saved him, was an understatement. He was literally in awe that you still saved his life, even if he had tied you up and almost fed you to the piranhas.
The act was actually enough that he started to mayhaps have a change of heart. After a hundred butts kicked and a few exhausting hours later, you finally defeated the rebels. Police reinforcements came to collect most of them (because a few rebels always manage to escape) and took them to jail, meanwhile you've never wanted more but to get back home already and just lie on your bed for a month. Your partner looked exhausted too, but still undeniably handsome. Not that you'll ever admit that to him. You were actually missing home, even though it's only been a day. Your parents would probably- oh glob, your parents! They're probably worried sick now. You hope you'll still be allowed to go out after this.
You were so busy worrying if you'll get grounded, that you didn’t notice the narcissistic King coming up to you. "Hey." He called out, breaking you out of your thoughts and surprising you. What did he want now? "I just wanted to say, thanks for saving me. You shouldn't have, but you still did anyway. And I'm sorry for everything. Promise, I'm being sincere this time." He seemed sincere with his apology, even though he couldn't really look you in the eye that well. You could say he was embarrassed? Or guilty? Maybe both. Still, you wanted to tease him and so you probed. "Are you really being honest now? Or is it another act of yours to deceive me again?"
"I'm being sincere this time I swear, I really felt awful about what I did to you. What I did to you both." he corrected. "I realized how selfish and crazy I've been, and I'm honestly sorry for that." "Well it's great that you realized your mistakes. I forgive you I guess, I don't wanna hold grudges for too long anyway." you replied. "Really? Thank you so much! I swear I'll prove to you that I'll change for real this time." he exclaimed getting your partner's attention, making him check up on you both in case something's wrong.
"Is everything alright with you two?" Jungkook asked. "Yeah bunny. He was just apologizing that's all." you replied. "Oh ok. Wait- he apologized? For real? How unbelievable." he then sent an accusing look at King Seokjin. "Yes he did. He seemed genuine so let's just let bygones be bygones." "Yeah. You sure he won't drug us to sleep again?" "Jungkook-"
"I won't. I should've never, it was truly wrong of me. I'm sorry for taunting you and for every wrong thing I've done. Believe me, I really do feel shitty for hurting you guys who saved me." King Seokjin heard your conversation and decided to apologize to Jungkook too. "If there's anything I could do to make it up to you guys, just please tell me. I'll do it in a heartbeat." "Hmm. Maybe there is something you could do." Jungkook suddenly had an idea.
👑
"Princess Y/N! Where have you been? we've been worried sick about you! Your mother couldn't sleep waiting for you!" Your father said when you finally arrived home. "Dad it was just a day, we were invited by our friend King Seokjin to stay for the night because it was getting late." you reasoned.
"King Seokjin? Is he the gorgeous man standing next to Jungkook right now?" your father inquired. "Yes dad," "Who is he? Why didn't you both tell us about him?" "He's our new friend, we helped him and he felt grateful so he made us stay for the night."
"It's amazing how you can plan quite a perfect lie my dear, you may have fooled your father- but we both know you can't fool me." the queen finally appeared. "So tell me Y/N, where were you really?" "Mom… I can explain-" "Were you at that spy academy of yours? Or going on those nonsense missions weren't you? I'm very disappointed in you Y/N. I thought you had quit being a useless spy. But of course, you had lied to me." she scolded you. You didn’t know what hurt more, the fact that she was disappointed in you, or the fact that she thought and probably still thinks- you're a useless spy.
"She isn't a useless spy, she saved me for crying out loud!" you were surprised to see King Seokjin was actually defending you. Maybe he truly had changed. "It's true your majesty. She isn't a useless spy, in fact she's one of the best spies in our academy. She's one of the best spies I know." Jungkook added. "Spectacular, but I don't recall asking you both for your opinion. So I suggest you both stay out of this. King Seokjin it's nice to meet you but you can go home now. As for you Prince Jungkook, you should probably leave too. I had a feeling you influenced her, and I was right." the queen reprimanded.
"Jungkook didn't influence me! I wanted to be a spy on my own. I just don't understand why you won't let me. Do you not love me mom?" you exclaimed. "Enough Y/N! Not another word from you, or you'll be spending your whole life in your tower. You're grounded for a year, and that's final. Guards, escort Princess Y/N to her tower and make sure she stays there for a year." you can't believe your mother right now, she had done this before when she first discovered what you were doing in the academy, and now she's doing it again. "Darling, don't you think you're being a little too harsh on our daughter? Locked for a year in her tower? Isn't that quite too much-" the king interrupted but the queen silenced him. "No I'm not being too harsh on her, you're too lenient on her that's why she keeps being a brat. She needs to learn how to listen to me, I'm her mother and the queen after all.
You lashed out on some of the guards on the way to your tower, you were just so upset you couldn't believe it had come to this. You could've escaped them easily, but you didn't want to be disowned by your family. So you decided to take your punishment.
You scrolled through your phone for the nth time today, and you were bored. Luckily, she at least let you had your phone. You wanted to see if you had new missions to do, but you felt conflicted too, because you can't disobey your mother this time. You were just planning to take a nap again when a strawberry hit you on the face. You looked at your window to find out where the strawberry came from, and you were in awe to see it was your bunny prince on a drone airplane. "Jungkook? How did you- why are you here?"
"To get you out, of course. Who else would help you other than me?" he cockily said. "You didn't even tell me you were coming. Anyway, thanks for wanting to take me out of here, but I can't. Even if I really want to escape, I can't anymore Jungkook." you refused. "You can't or you shouldn't? I know you're afraid of disappointing your mother again baby, but I think she'll understand. Besides, I think she was just angry at that moment. She probably wants to let you go back to your room now."
Your heart warmed at his pet name for you, but you still can't agree to go with him. "Exactly, Kook. Maybe she'll want to end my punishment sooner, but what if she finds out I disobeyed her again? She'll be furious, and I don't want my punishment to be extended." "Well what if she doesn't find out? I'm sure she can't see me when I'm this high on the ground. And I promise I'll bring you back home before they check on you. Come on princess, do you really wanna stay here alone in your tower, for a year?" he persuaded. "I don't… but ugh, I hate you Jeon Jungkook. Fine, just let me get my stuff." you caved in. How were you supposed to say no when a guy as annoyingly handsome as prince Jeon asked you?
You hopped on the airplane drone and went away with your handsome prince. You and Jungkook just flew around the land, it was awe inspiring to look at the villages and people from above. When he finally brought you home you felt a little glum that the day had to end. You were relieved that you weren't caught by the queen though. You were relieved to have Prince Jeon with you. You texted your instructor about your current situation and why you can't go on missions for a while. He told you he understood, he truly is the best instructor.
Jungkook came to see you again the next day. He didn't take you away this time, he just stayed with you and you two talked all day. Jungkook visited your tower everyday, and you couldn't help but fall for him each passing day too. One night, the two of you finally shared your first kiss and it felt amazing. He didn't come back the next day though, which made you feel worried that he didn't feel the same way. Unbeknownst to you, he was actually planning how to get you out of your current situation- while he couldn't stop thinking about your kiss too.
"Y/N, it's been 3 months since you've been locked here in your tower. I don't mind visiting you but, don't you miss going on missions with me? Don't lie, I know you do. We need to get you out of here." Jungkook declared. "Jungkook is that why you didn't come yesterday? 'Cause you were planning my escape from here?" you inquired still a little upset, he didn't come to see you yesterday. "Yes actually. Why? Did you think about something else?"
"No… I just thought- nevermind it doesn't matter." "Of course it matters princess, tell me what's on your mind." he asked you moving closer to touch your cheek fondly. "I thought you didn't like our kiss… And that you thought it was a mistake. Am i right?" you asked honestly.
"No you aren't baby. I loved our kiss, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I'm sorry I made you think that way, I really was just busy pondering how to get you out of here. But I have a plan now, and that's why I'm here to ask you if you'll agree with it."
"You do? You have a plan? Why do I have a feeling it's gonna be chaotic… But fine- I wanna hear it anyway,"
"Run away with me."
Ballsacks, he's kidding right? Your Jungkook is kidding right?
💜
You made a decision that day that changed your life. You ran away with Jungkook and lived at his palace. You were finally free to go on missions without worrying about what your mother would say. Jungkook kept your existence at the palace a secret at first, putting you in a secret room no one else knows but him. But of course as all secrets do, all secrets will be revealed. His parents found out that you were now living with them, and they were shookt but thankfully they let you stay.
They advised you to tell your parents though, so your parents would stop worrying about you. You did tell your parents about your whereabouts, you missed them after all. But you also told them you couldn't live with them, if they can't accept you for being a spy. You only talked to your father, the king. As your mother didn't seem interested to talk to you. You hoped she'll accept you for who you are someday.
3 years passed and you've decided to return to the palace, your home. You're full of nerves as you're worried about how they'll react to you coming back, but also because you have an important thing to talk about to them. You had returned to inform and personally invite them to your wedding. Your relationship with Jungkook grew stronger over the years, and one lovely night he proposed to you, which you accepted of course. That's why you're now getting married and elated to be one with him.
You're with Jungkook as you faced your parents. They looked quite surprised to see your presence again after a few years. Your father smiled at you and he seemed happy to finally see you again. Your mother on the other hand, still looked indifferent as before. "My dearest princess, I'm so glad you came back." your father told you. "I'm happy to see you too, dad." you smiled at him. "Actually, I'm here- I mean we're here, because we wanted to tell you something very important. Jungkook and I are getting married."
They didn't seem surprised to hear that actually. You guessed they figured out why you came today. "We want to personally invite you to our wedding. It'd be great if you both were there." you added. "Of course we'll be there. It's a good thing we didn't have to push through with the arranged marriage we planned for you guys before. It's spectacular that you fell for each other naturally." the queen surprised you all when she replied. She didn't seem to mean it with malice but with all honesty.
"Wait- you were planning to make us have an arranged marriage?" you inquired, you weren't mad anymore just shocked that your parents had planned to wed you with Jungkook after all. "Yes. Well it was because Jungkook's parents are our friends, and your marriage would be great to strengthen our kingdom. We're sorry if the knowledge infuriates you now."
"It doesn't. I'm just surprised that's all. Anyway, mayhaps we're truly meant to be as I'm still marrying him now." you said quite fondly. "The preparations have started as the wedding is in 3 days, the stylists will come soon so please tell them if you need something. I already picked yours and dad's clothes, I hope you don't mind. Can I stay in my room for tonight? Jungkook can take the guest room." you asked. "Wait Y/N. I wanted to apologize for being a cruel mother to you." the queen's words stopped you. "I'm sorry for locking you in the tower which made you runaway from us."
"I'm sorry for not believing in you, I always knew you were a great spy- I just didn't wanna acknowledge it because I was scared of losing you. And I did anyway. I guess I'm just sorry for being a bad mom and for everything my dear. I hope someday you'll be able to forgive me." you could feel the queen's remorse through her words and facial expressions, and you realized there wasn't really anger anymore. You were just sad for the lost time. "Thanks mom, that's all I've ever wanted to hear. I just wanted you to be proud of me. And you aren't a bad mother, I understand now why you did those things. Though they're quite questionable, but I forgive you. I already did a long time ago." You hugged each other and were finally glad to be on good terms again.
👰
Your wedding day came, and everything went perfect. You wore the loveliest wedding dress, and Jungkook wore the fittest suit. You only invited your close friends and family, you actually just wanted a simple wedding. The selfish but now kind King Seokjin, came too. Along with your fellow agents, Fiona and Farquaad. They all watched as you two sealed your newly formed union with a short but sweet passionate kiss.
After the glorious event, you were now inside Jungkook's room fidgeting and anticipating- what to do for the remainder of the night. You had just finished taking a relaxing bath, and were now dressed in your nightgown. Were you finally gonna do it with him after abstaining for years? Thoughts ran through your mind while waiting for Jungkook. He had to go somewhere for a bit because of some emergency prince duties. He was even busier now, that they want him to take over as the new king. But surely he'll make time for you on your wedding night right?
You were getting sleepy waiting for him when after a while, the knob to his door slowly turned. And then came your prince- and husband, the person you've been waiting for. "I'm sorry I took so long baby, the council and the advisors were just so-" "It's okay Kook, just come here and lie with me," you called. You didn’t even realize the implications of your words until you said them, and you couldn't take them back. You blushed furiously at seeming so desperate.
"I will my love, I'm just gonna take a shower first, then I'll come join you in bed" he chirped. After Jungkook's long agonizing shower- (or it just seemed long to you, when he really didn't take that long) he finally joined you in bed. Though, you couldn't face him because you were so embarrassed of your daring words awhile ago, that you may or may not have meant. You pretended to be asleep, but of course Jungkook knows you too much to know you were just pretending. "I know you're awake baby, don't pretend to fall asleep on me now. Not when we haven't made love yet."
Jungkook's words made you a little wet, okay maybe a lot. How can he be so irresistible? You tried to take a peek at his face but failed miserably, as your attention went to his beautifully sculptured body. He was lying so close to you without any clothes on! You almost saw his dick if not for the sheets covering it. "Like what you see my love? I didn't put any clothes on yet, 'cause It would be stupid if I'm just gonna take them off in a bit. I've really been waiting for this night Y/N," he said, touching your back through your nightgown tracing your curves.
"I'm finally gonna claim you and make you mine, can I make love to you now my love?" Jungkook sincerely inquired, and you gave him your permission because you wanted him to. You wanted him to make you his and you wanted to make love with him too. And you showed how much you loved each other all through the night. You loved it when he treated you so delicately, and he wasn't in a rush. You loved it when he sucked your perky nipples until they were so sensitive and swollen. You loved it when he thrusted inside you while kissing you at the same time and holding your hand. You loved your partner in crime Jeon Jungkook, the most loyal agent and bunny in the world. Your prince and your husband. And you're pretty sure he loved you too.
And they loved happily ever after. Fin. 🧚🏻‍♀️
A/N: tysm for reading! If you enjoyed please reblog and leave a nice comment! 🥺💜
Btw! This is the pic dat's should've been on the insert pic but tumblr luvs to f- me raw in the ass, so it re-arranged it. I'm only on mobile so i can't do sht so im very sorry!
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naralanis · 3 years
Text
Fic Writer Review!
Thanks @mssirey for the tag! I totally didn't have a crisis with the very last question, not at all bwhahaha
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
41, soon to be 42. ASJKLDBLAHSDSD how. And also why. But mostly, how.
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
565,934 EXCUSE ME WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. I was going to check my unpublished works but ya know what. Maybe I've written enough akdjsa
3. How many fandoms have you written for?
Technically speaking, I've written and published fics for five fandoms. However, I only have one story for OUAT (and I have @shadowdianne to thank for that... or do I?) and one for Captain Marvel. Mirandy was my first love, Cissamione the second, and Supercorp has burrowed in my brain and just won't let go.
I've also technically written for Xena, Legend of Korra, and Criminal Minds, but since I never published those, we're going to pretend they don't exist!
4. Top 5 fics by kudos?
Only two are WIPs! YEAH! They're the top two, but WHO CARES, here they are:
1) Perhaps, aka my baby, my child, my darling, the apple of my eye. If I ever had to choose to finish only ONE of my WIPs, this would be the one. This story has grown with me, and I think you can tell when you read. Or maybe not!
2) For the Better. If the former is my baby, this one is like... my moody teenager. I love it dearly, but... it takes a lot out of me. An ode to one of the first fandoms I actively wrote for, it sits unfinished, but nearly, oh so nearly done. I will finish it, damn ittt.
3) The Date. Honestly, this one really surprised me -- it's one of my oldest one-shots, and something I definitely dashed off between lectures back in Scotland, maybe alternating with FtB chapters. It's one of my first attempts at humour, I think.
4) Bits and Pieces. AYY, I wasn't sure Supercorp would make the cut, WOOOT! This one was the second Supercorp fic I ever wrote, and I did it because Lena Is Baby and the idea just wouldn't leave my brain.
And lastly, the fabulous number 5... Perfect. AKA Nara's First (published) Explicit Fic, featuring Praise Kink and an Enchanted Dildo (for... reasons). I'm not gonna lie, I am so HAPPY this one made it, because it has a special place in my heart. It's where Soft Butch Hermione comes to life, and if you don't love Soft Butch Hermione, I'm sorry, we can't be friends. I love her.
5. Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?
Eeermmm... some? I do want to respond, but I'm terrible with keeping up with comments, I really am. For whatever reason, even when I do my best, I don't really love responding directly on AO3. I also turned off all email notifications for AO3 because turns out my brain WILL be distracted by even a single one.
I'm much more responsive on Tumblr, I promise!
6. A fic you've written with the angstiest ending:
Any of my Narlily works, I guess? Like... All Flowers Wither or Carry On.
Unshackled would be another one, though it's Cissamione... but I caved and made a happy(ish) second part for that one.
7. Do you write crossovers?
Nope! Crossovers just don't do it for me, generally speaking (reading or writing).
8. Ever received hate on a fic?
EvEr rEcEIvEd hAtE-- yes. Oh, yes. I've been told my writing is terrible, I've been told my stories were a 'waste of time,' or 'overhyped,' I've had people tell me there was only One Way to write a certain pairing and my way was definitely Not The Way.
The list goes on.
It used to really, really bother me--still does, but in a much smaller way. Delete/Block buttons are my friends.
9. Do you write smut?
I write an absurd amount of smut. I just don't publish any of it because. Fear.
My pretty, pretty pens have created some filthy, filthy things.
10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
A couple of times -- only once or twice like, straight up attributed to someone else who acted like they were the one writing it. The other times were reposts or translations (without my permission, so still. stolen).
11. Ever had a fic translated?
I've authorized a couple of translations of a few of my DWP works. I'm usually cool with people translating my stuff IF THEY ASK ME FIRST and GIVE ME PROPER CREDIT.
9/10 it's some Brazilian who translates it to Portuguese without my permission and then gets upset when I, another Brazilian, do not endorse it and politely ask them to take the thing down. Thankfully it's been a while. ASK ME, DAMN IT.
12. Have you ever co-written a fic?
Nothing published bwhaha!
13. All-time favourite ship?
Right now SuperCorp is definitely barking a little louder, so to speak, but I don't really have one favourite overall. It depends on the fandom, sometimes! Cissamione is very dear to my heart, because it's just so fucking out there and literally every one in this ship has some of the most fascinating headcanons for this pairing and it's just. So wonderful.
14. WIP you want to finish, but don't think you ever will?
Eeeeuuughhh.... Right now? Probably The Appraisal. I forget what I wanted to do with it, I'm not sure if I'm still feeling the premise... IDK.
I think the same could be said of For the Better, but I PROMISED to finish it, and GOD DAMN IT, I am so close I can't throw in the towel just yet.
15. Writing strengths?
You want ME to say good things about MYSELF? I'm still learning how to do that asldkjbasdn it's a work in progress. But I think I'd say... maybe world-building, at least on my longer works?
I would also like to think I do pretty OK in... IDK, some of the punchy stuff? The 'oh wait a minute' moment? IDK if that makes sense!
16. Writing weaknesses?
Organizing. Plot (HAHA IKR). Consistency. Editing (which is rich from someone who literally edits shit for a living... but go figure). Pacing. Weirdly long sentences? Commas for DAYS.
I could go on.
17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?
I am a-OK attempting it in French/Spanish/Portuguese. It may not sound natural, but it will be correct. If I'm trying another language, I'll definitely get help! But I've got no problem with it.
18. First fandom you ever wrote for?
Harry Potter, Dramione specifically, and you'll never find a shred of it. I was like 12, and almost a decade later I figured out Hermione was much better off with Draco's mother.
19. What's your fav fic you've written so far?
DON'T MAKE ME CHOOOSE asdkljasdl I CAAANNN'TTTT
I mean, obviously Perhaps is one of them -- it is my baby, that has been established. I think Little Bumps in the Road is also up there, because it was just a random writing exercise that got out of hand, and honestly? I'm here for it. Andddd.... I GUESS I'll put A Valentine's Evening up there as well, because it was the first time I didn't second guess every word I wrote when posting smut. I just... felt it, went for it, wrote it, and it felt really, really good to release some of that into the world lol
WHEW, this was a long one! I'll be tagging @intheinkpot, @shadowdianne, @delirious-comfort, and @16-pennies because I am a curious bastard. But, as always, feel free to treat this as an open tag. Go nuts!
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quillquiver · 3 years
Note
Feel free not to answer I just wanted to say I think the whole approach to "season 16" is very much so an age thing. I PROMISE that's not me calling you old lol I just mean a lot of people who are super into it are in their late teens/early 20s and a lot of the people who are super not into it are late twenties/thirties/whatever. I say this as someone in their early twenties having a blast. I think it might have something to do with how fandom/the ways fans interact with the works is evolving, like me and a bunch of us were on spn tumblr as 13/14/15-year-olds and grew up with that old tumblr energy that invited this sort of mania, whereas people who were older at the time or had been in other fandom spaces before didn't really participate in that. I think a lot of us are very self aware and "tinhat" because it's legitimately fun for us. I'm not criticizing you at all because I totally get what you're feeling, your posts on it just made me think a lot about this.
No, this is great! I am definitely from a different generation of fans - and I’ve noticed a divide in age as well. I guess I’m just curious how people have the energy? Or is it that things aren’t taken so personally?
For context: when I started in fandom, it was something that had an element of seriousness and responsibility because it had to be - it wasn’t something talked about, and you didn’t flaunt yourself because you didn’t want to drawn attention to yourself or the community for legitimate fear of getting your shit taken down and being slapped with a lawsuit. I started at the very, very end of that, and because it was hard to find, and because there was community responsibility involved, there was a code of conduct that had to be learned and adhered to. So like, being a fan is serious to me, and it’s an important part of my identity.
I have been in SPN fandom for the better part of a decade, and on tumblr for longer than that. So I know that energy! It’s great! I just feel that it’s shifted from motivating fanworks to encouraging this weird grief spiral, where everyone constantly seems to be angry and upset, and then couch those emotions in social justice in order to legitimize them - when, to my mind, feeling them should be legitimizing enough! Fucking revel in your emotions, this is a space built to process them, specifically. We made a space for ourselves to do that.
I guess I feel like a lot of engagement in fandom just feels very high stakes now, when it used to be this really nice, low-stakes environment way more conducive to relaxation. Sure, there would be serious drama that would kick up every now and then, but it was never sustained like this. I saw posts of people who seemed to be legitimately upset there was no new drama from the KoC podcast - and I’m confused, because before 15x18, drama was something we all generally agreed to try and avoid. Or at least, we knew exactly who was wont to create it and steered clear if that wasn’t our thing.
But this is everywhere. I’m not kidding; I have probably unfollowed more people than I ever have because I’m trying to get my dash somewhere back to normal and nothing is working. Almost every other post across my dash involves some kind of academic theory or willingly buys into network conspiracy--Jensen’s silence is sexy, but given the atmosphere in the fandom right now, is anyone actually surprised he or Misha haven’t spoken up? No one knows what their NDAs look like, and if it were me, I’d keep my trap shut out of sheer self-preservation. 
And like, I love tinhatting. I have been cockles a cockles tinhatter for a long-ass time and I enjoy the hell out of it. But - and I’m definitely gonna sound old here - I feel like there’s an element of respect, not only for the cast, but honestly, mostly for the community at large, that seems to have been obliterated in the SPN renaissance. I think that because lots of young folks grew up at a time where fandom was generally widely accepted, and now are being catered to, and they have forgotten that this is an actual community, and that what one person does reflects on all of us. Tagging the cast in shippy posts? A big no-no. Because I can tell you right now that the person you’re tagging might see your username and think of you as an individual, but you are part of a community that has been Perceived for a long-time, and your behaviour reflects on alllllll of us. 
And last thing, I swear, but like. The posts. The posts that just say the same thing in different words: from different blogs, from the same blogs, all with this air of manic self-importance that ratchets my anxiety up to 11.... what is with that??? These things rack up hundreds of notes and I am mystified because not only have we covered this years ago, we covered this last week and the post is dated 30mins ago. There’s this obsession with being right and finding the truth and being smart and just rehashing that over and over and it’s exhausting to me. 
And I know I am currently coming off as an old fart who’s complaining about young people and screaming get off my lawn but I am genuinely curious: Is it that I just take things very personally? Is it that everything rolls off you loyal s16 followers? How the hell do you have the energy for this? Don’t you want to process your grief? Are you grieving? How do you interact with works? Like, how, from your perspective, is that changing? 
These are legitimate questions, and this was very long, so if you’re reading this I’m sorry. 
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hopeswriting · 3 years
Note
Hullo hullo Hopes, it's for the ask game ! 4, 23 and 43 ? :O
Hi there, thank you for the ask!
4. Link your three favorite fics right now.
I simply could not only choose three of them, so you get six instead, in no particular order.
come get me by MakeItVoid on ffnet (Katekyo Hitman Reborn).
Reborn waits a little impatiently for someone to come get him. He doesn't know what to do now. The fire is creeping closer. (Reborn doesn't want to die like this.) 
It’s a one-shot, with the exact dynamic I reach for in all my Arco fics, and it hits just all the spots for me. Simply cannot recommend it enough.
Just Another Tuesday by ariathal2410 on ffnet (Katekyo Hitman Reborn).
Tsuna doesn't know why all this supernatural shit started happening in his life, but he'd really like it to stop now please. Mild Arco27
OR in which Tsuna attracts too much attention because he's surprisingly good at recognizing supernatural beings (and he's just too cute to resist).
A 10k one-shot where Tsuna is in college, and keeps stumbling upon these supernatural creatures that then just never leave his life. Very domestic fluff like, and never fails to brighten my mood when I need it. Very funny too.
Survivor by atruwriter on ffnet (Harry Potter).
Waiting. He was always waiting. He'd already buried one best friend and now the other will follow. There was nothing he could do or say. There was no Harry without Hermione. Ron witnessed the beginning and now he must accept the end. HHr. 4parts Complete! 
It’s been a long time since I reread this one tbh, but as long as you’re a Hhr shipper or just don’t mind the ship? I recommend it a thousand times.
It’s written from Ron’s pov, and is written so well, and I remember having called it a masterpiece after I read it, and I still stand by it. Just a very beautiful fic in all its tragedy.
Sincerely, Scattered Shards by You_Light_The_Sky on ao3 (Katekyo Hitman Reborn).
Tsuna’s the foolish type to give a bit of his heart to anyone he meets. No one ever wanted his ugly heart shards until he met his Guardians. No one ever treasured his heart shards until them either. Hints of All27 and R27. 
It’s an ongoing fic, and I don’t remember it in details anymore lol, but just read it. You want to read it. You won’t regret reading it if it seems the type of fic you might like.
It’s beautiful, and sad, and a bit tragic at times, but then Tsuna starts finding his Guardians and it becomes a little better. And worth it.
Those Last Few Memories by Ourliazo on ao3 (Katekyo Hitman Reborn).
In one future, the Arcobaleno band together and try to fight off the Anti Tri-ni-set radiation. 
As the author says, “ this story follows their slow descent into death”, and it’s low key fucking heartbreaking, and high key gets you in the feels and makes you want to bawl your eyes out, so really, I can only recommend it asdfgh.
Target Acquired: Wicked Jester by poorasdirt on ao3 (Katekyo Hitman Reborn).
Colonnello has always been a military man. He understood what led to him being cursed. He understood why the others had been cursed. Or, well, why most of the others had been cursed. Skull's motivations had always been a mystery to him. Now that the curse had been lifted, Colonnello could finally sit back and try to puzzle it out. If only it were that easy.
Or Colonnello's instincts were telling him something wasn't right and curiosity only kills cats.
NELLO/SKULL SUPREMACY. Also told in Nello’s pov so Nell-centric. But also entirely about Skull, so Skull-centric. What more do you want??
Azesdfgh ahem, jokes aside. This one is seriously good. Not just because it’s focused first on Nello & Skull relationship (it’s actually a gen fic lol, my bad), or because it has just the right amount of Poly!Arco hinted for us shippers even if it’s platonic/found family.
The fic gives Skull a very in depth and intricate backstory, and for having read my fair share of Skull-centric fics, it’s a very original one. A very mysterious one too, and the fic has a spy/thriller aspect to it that’s very fun to read, as you discover more and more about Skull along with the Arco.
Some of Skull’s backstory also tie with canon worldbuilding the author then expands with their own take on it, and even if it’s a characters driven story, and the plot is only really there first to enhance that fact, it still gets you curious to see it unfold.
And of course the Arco interactions with each other. The fic has a very low key found family vibes fitting to it, but that are very present nonetheless, and feel genuine and heartwarming.
Though there’s some Sky Arco, and specifically Uni and Aria antagonism, but as a Giglio Nero stan myself, it’s not present enough you can’t overlook it if you try.
So if you like Skull and/or Colonnello and/or found family Arco and you didn’t read the fic yet? Don’t wait any longer!
23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write? 
Already answered this one so I’ll just copy past it!
I’ve been thinking about it, and it’s gotta be Hurt/Comfort, both as a writer and a reader. And this is probably just me projecting lol, but there’s just something in seeing characters be hurt/hurting, knowing they’ll have/will be given care after that speaks to me.
Also I guess it’s pretty obvious to say it, but mostly as a reader, the hurt must come with comfort. Or at least I need to be 100% certain the comfort will come at some point, and will matter.
And I actually think that’s why I can only handle so much amount of angst, because unless it’s tagged for it (and even then, I find Angst with a Happy Ending and such, and Hurt/Comfort just don’t hit the same way), you never know if it’ll be  worth it in the end. And I’m a big softie so I can’t handle it zsdfgdsc.
A very close second favorite trope, also both as a writer and a reader, is when any characters with Responsibilities/Duties/Expectations (namely The Chosen One trope and such) just say fuck it all and does fuck it all.
Either by finding a solution that won’t leave them incredibly traumatized when all’s said and done, or by actually fucking off and making it everyone else’s problem.
I find it’s mostly present in Dark![Character Name] fics, which I also love to write and read, so it all works out for me lol.
43. Talk about a positive experience with fanfiction or the fanfiction community that you will always remember.
Mmmh, not sure if I have one yet? I only really started trying to get involved in the fanfiction community last year, so I feel maybe I’m not quite there to have these type of experiences.
That said, I can only talk about that one time I did a fanfic event for the first time, and @chierry was there every step of the way, leaving me a comment on each of my fics, and that was incredibly motivating. Felt really amazing too, and made the event that much more fun, so shoutout to her<3.
Also shoutout to that one time where we got Arco brainrot at the same time on the same frequency, and kind of just went nuts about it for a while zsdxfgh. That was very fun too!<3
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Could I be curious for a hot second? I swear I saw in a post you did the other day that you haven’t read ACD canon? This is absolutely not a judgement ask or anything but I’m always curious to find out how/why people resist reading the original works of modern adaptations. Is it just not your cup of tea or did you watch Sherlock for the actors? etc. I’m one of those who when they love something, it quickly becomes an obsession and have to read every book, article, Twitter post there is about the thing before I’m satisfied..
Also could I add in, what do you think of Tiny Little Houses - I Hate That You’re Happy for Johnlock Playlist?..
Thank you for all you do, I think I basically save every one of your posts to read later..it’s a lot!
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HI LOVELY!!
OOOF I dunno how or when I got this and totally missed it, but I totally apologize because this is a quick-response ask. Tumblr’s been... hiding new stuff from me lately, and it’s kinda frustrating :|
ANYWAY: Firstly, I’m gonna mention that I’m putting the JLPL suggestion on a separate ask that is now behind a SLEW of Playlist submissions (I dunno why it’s suddenly popular again, LOL) so keep an eye out for that in the coming weeks LOL.
Secondly, no offense taken at all to the boldness of your ask; I’ve actually been asked this quite often and honestly I DON’T have a good reason.
So yeah, honestly? These are good questions, and fun ones to reply to. Ah, I actually have my besties to thank for me getting into Sherlock. Believe it or not, I didn’t really know much about Ben until I saw Sherlock; my first recollection of seeing his face was as Khan in Into Darkness, and I loved that movie (I know I’m among a small few who do love ST:ID; I KNOW the problems with it, I just REALLY like everyone’s acting in it), and I knew of Martin, actually, which is why I agreed to watch the show. So yeah, I went to visit my friends one weekend, and on the Sunday night before I left (it was a holiday weekend, so I always leave on the Monday), we pulled up Netflix and put it on. I WAS FASCINATED. I LOVED IT. We only got through the first season, so when I got home, I torrented that bitch and watch all of S1 and S2 in one sitting the following weekend. And I already had a Tumblr at that time, so I just... lurked blogs, and then I started getting really into it. 
Long-short, this blog was created just before S3, so I could start interacting with other fandom people, and try my hand at meta (which I partook in extensively on the regular until everyone left). The name “inevitably-johnlocked” actually came about because I was a platonic bromance shipper when I first saw the show, until I got REALLY into it, and started educating myself and interacting with very lovely queer people, who in turn gave me the gift of self discovery. I was, rightfully so, inevitably destined to be a Johnlocker :) I laugh to myself about that all the time. It’s not even funny, but I have a few little easter eggs all over the place on my blog / posts that if you know small things about me, they’re rather amusing to weird people like me.
BUT ANYWAY, that wasn’t your question, LOL. With regards to ACD canon, truth is exactly this: I just never got around to it. I’ve no reason to NOT read them, I’m just a literal garbage human who eats fanfiction like Skittles. I haven’t read anything OTHER than fanfiction in literal YEARS. I think the last book I bought was the Inkheart Trilogy (WHICH BY THE WAY THERE NEEDS TO BE A JOHNLOCK AU FOR, where John is either the writer or the Silver Tongue [or both], his kid is Meggie, Mary has died / left him, and Sherlock is either his creation or we’ll go really meta and he IS the ACD character, and that’s how he meets John Watson, but I digress. I think about this a lot), which I love dearly. But I just haven’t really taken a break from reading fanfics since like... twenty... fourteen? Yeah, that’s when S3 came out. And then, yeah, I just read downloaded books now on my phone, and I just... never got around to downloading the ACD canon books. I know exactly where to get them, but I guess I’m just SO immersed in the BBC canon that I do like you do, except with EVERYTHING BBC canon, LOL. Except S4, LOL, that can go burn in the dumpster.
(as an aside, my consumption and adoration and obsession of fanfics works in everyone’s favour, really: I get content, you guys get more and more stuff to read that has my good-for-nothing-seal-of-approval, and because of the kind of neuroticism I do have, everything is meticulous and evolves with the fandom)
So yeah, TL;DR: I’m lazy. That simple. And I know it would probably be better for me to read them so that I can answer stuff with certainty, but I’ll be blatantly honest: I LOVE being a middle person to the interactions between y’all, and when you guys impart your knowledge onto me about stuff. It helps keep my blog interactive, and honestly, that’s fun :) 
Cheers for your lovely compliments on my blog, hahah. Yeah, I’ve a lot of posts, so if there’s anything specific you’re looking for, let me know, or I probably have a tag for it <3 Take care!! <3
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mrs-nate-humphrey · 3 years
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It's so nice to see someone from the GG fandom who likes Vanessa! It's a shame she didn't have a storyline that was only hers (she was always only a prop on someone else's). I really wanted her and Blair to become friends because I think they are a weirdly good match. They could've bonded trough their love of art and even have been roommates on s3. I would love if you could throw some headcanons about that relationship, but feel free to use this ask just to say nice things about Vanessa.
oh agreed with you re: vanessa never having her own storyline! i remember seeing someone on here mention that after a while - specifically in s4 - they stopped viewing vanessa as a character and saw her as a plot device, which is why she was always conveniently in the right place at the right time eavesdropping on people. it’s incredibly depressing.
i loved the fact that vanessa was such a radical marxist (she’s never used these words for herself that i remember, but those are her vibes.) it was so refreshing in like... this gloomy complicated WASPy environment where everyone was so obsessed with class and reputation
this meta does a better job at explaining it than i ever can
vanessa was just: badass, confident, outspoken, unashamed & unapologetic of being who she was, intelligent, cynical but also a ray of light. this remains one of my favourite caps of her. look at her smile!
i wish vanessa had gotten to make films and stuff - we saw a lot of dan’s creative success, i wish we’d gotten that much focus on vanessa. 
one of my.. headcanons... i think i was gonna write fic about this, even, is that vanessa makes a documentary starring nate. they’re both joking around and just doing it for the lols, but it actually blows up, and ... nate & vanessa being nate & vanessa, the documentary isn’t superficial at all. 
obviously, vanessa doesn’t need nate to be successful though, i just really loved nate x vanessa and am incredibly self-indulgent
vanessa & dan should’ve started a podcast together in college!!! 
also yeah, i do think vanessa had character flaws, but everyone on this show is morally skewed one way or the other, and i wish her storyline had been better + i wish her flaws had been handled more gently, if that makes sense to say.
i also wish we’d gotten to see vanessa’s sister ruby + her lesbian punk band + her apartment, where vanessa also lived. i’m so curious about like.... how vanessa would decorate her room in her house, etc etc.
more under the cut (because this got SO long!)
re: her relationship with blair:
i feel the same as you abt that! i was talking to solange about this and apparently all of that ...happened? in the books??? blair & vanessa did become best friends and roommates. i love them being best friends -i’m not going to say too much about my platonic headcanons for these 2, because it’s kind of central to my s3 dair AU, which i’m writing right now! there’s going to be so much vanessa, istg.
i found this response by accident about the show being shitty to her, and i think “mix of racism and laziness” on part of the writers hits the nail on the head. 
i wish blair & vanessa had become friends in s2 over rescuing nate from that duchess. i find it really annoying that dan & blair could become friends due to their mutual love for serena, but blair & vanessa couldn’t become friends from their mutual love for nate?? that’s the tv storyline we were robbed of, seriously. 
i got distracted & started talking about my vanessa ships, so take that, too:
i actually highkey ship blair/vanessa either as much as i ship dair, or more. this post ​does a pretty good job at explaining it. my tags on this post basically say “the dair dynamic minus all the melancholy” --> i love dan, but he tends to stew in sad feelings a lot of the time, and neither blair nor vanessa does that, so i think blairnessa as a relationship would be MUCH less angsty than dair was at initial stages. 
serenessa is such a good ship too. i was telling nads, “serenessa photojournalists who travel around the world AU lives in my head rent free.” i think serena & vanessa both have like.. a very free spirit thing going for them, and i feel that neither of them would be happy doing the standard ‘get married, raise kids, white picket fence’ future kind of thing (which, well, dan and nate probably would. which is why i think they should get married to each other.)
i liked early season natessa, before things got weird. nate & vanessa genuinely supported each other + believed in each other + learnt things from each other and grew as people from it. nate encouraged her to write her SATs and give college a shot, and during most of nate’s s2 arc w/ his grandfather, vanessa was the only person who TRULY believed in him and believed that nate could break out from the influence of his family.
i wrote nate & vanessa on their first date from vanessa’s POV if that’s something you’re interested in reading.
i’m also... pretty sure this wasn’t deliberate, but the way that matthew settle & jessica szhor played rufus and vanessa gave me weirdly intense romantic vibes? vanessa always has the brightest & biggest smiles for rufus, and rufus is considerate and caring and respectful to vanessa much more than dan, her actual best friend, is. 
i wrote this fic abt vanessa dealing w/ guilt over having a crush on rufus, and talking to nate about it, which was an interesting thing to write, lmao. 
even keeping that aside, i think it’s interesting that vanessa was better friends with rufus than she was with dan!! i regard it mostly the same way i regard lily being a better mother to chuck than to serena & eric - “lmao, what is this show. how tragic and awful but also how hilarious.” 
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torivikachu · 3 years
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I was just listening to Hamilton AGAIN - yeah I just put it on while working all the time - and it just hit me how really relatable Hamilton (or I mean, Lin-Manuel's interpretation of him) is. well, at least for me.
if you're wondering if this is worth your time it is NOT
anybody except me likes lists? I like lists. so let's make a list!
also let's see how many quotes can I fit into this post
whoa, I am excited about it.
1. the moment he meets Aaron Burr, he just sorta searches for something to bond over. like, hey dude I heard you went to Princeton? I wanna go there too, let's bond over it! by the way, I punched someone there lol I swear I am not stupid aand Burr, like um, no, thanks really, I better go, you seem violent, my parents wanted me to go there, okay, and Ham like WHOA YOU AN ORPHAN? WOW I AM TOO IT'S LIKE FATE OR SOMETHING LETS BOND and Aaron like wtf dude just shut up
and honestly that's just me, if I meet a person I like I will latch onto anything and I get sorta...fixated? so yeah, this dialogue is relatable as fuck
2. and Alex doesn't shut up, but then he goes all or am I talking too much?
bro, your anxiety shows.
3. and he keeps ranting all through the show, but his rants seem to charm everybody while I think mine just annoy and scare away? whatever, moving on, with Washington asking him why are you upset and he's replying IM NOT like a fucking teenager and it's probably a small thing but it's relatable as hell
4. and then once he is given permission he dives and buries himself into work, never does things halfway and is eager to take on more responsibilities and do something new and is just generally non-stop and while I can only wish for same energy as he, I like to have a lot of work aswell (well I sure as hell whine about it a lot but Hamilton does too! what's with I havent slept in a week I was weak I was awake you've never seen a bastard orphan more in need of a break)
5. he's flirty and has no qualms with innuendos. and very forward with his feelings? like you strike me like a woman who has never been satisfied sounds like a pickup line that either gonna win him a lot more than a number or fail miserably. he's like going all out, wearing his heart on his sleeve, and if it takes fighting a war for us too meet it will have been worth it and like seriously? yeah, flirt with every person in the room without skipping a beat, why not? he literally said on one intake of breath mr lafayette hard rock like lancelott i think your pants look hot laurens i like you a lot. he compliments people, he just throws it out instantly, most times he meets someone for the first time he compliments them and it's kind of my strategy too? it's not even a strategy, I just blurt out everything I like about a person once I meet them. it's like embarassing, because I liked a piece of jewelery on my co-worker once, and she was talking about something important while I could barely keep up because I kept thinking wow it looks great I gotta let her know. this strange need of mine to voice all thoughts annoys even me sometimes,
6. and then again, when he is angry or doesn't like something, it's painfully obvious. I don't tend to sprout profanities to people I don't like or saying stuff like madison you mad as hatter son take your medicine or you must be out of your GODDAMN mind or you absolutely right John should have shot him in mouth that would've shut him up but I can't school my face so it is always transparent what I am thinking about so my dislike is noted and not appreciated. it got me into enough embarassing situations. actually when studied in lyceum (like a sort of highschool) we had a principal and she addressed us as children and told us to call her mom and every time I was like WHAT THE HELL. I remember her eyes landing on me one time she said that and she almost did a doubletake at my facial expression. so the I'M NOT YOUR SON sentiment is not lost on me.
7. he speaks his mind when he thinks advice is in order? um if you love this woman go get her or for once in your life take a stand with pride. I tend to do it too, because I get winded up pretty fast, and I don't think it's always wise, because it's easy to judge from outside. I am pretty much sure that is the reason one of my friends back from school stopped talking to me. she had a bit of situation with her boyfriend and I still think her boyfriend is a piece of shit and she shouldn't have accepted him back, but whatever. wasn't my place to give advice, apparently
8. he gets overexcited? gentlemen of the jury I am curious bear with me are you aware that we are making history? like really I can't imagine ever getting like that at court. well I can imagine, because I get overexcited too, but saying that out loud? i'd be mortified
9. he's never satisfied? I know I already sorta covered it already, but it's more about him eager to learn and do more and feeling that what he's done and learnt is not enough, never enough. I so feel him on this, it's like yeah sure I know 4 languages, but that can't be enough can it? yeah I've got one degree but that's just ONE DEGREE that's like minimum I gotta get more
10. I know I talk too much I'm abrasive and I am not quoting Hamilton I am talking about myself thank you very much
11. he's a whiny bitch: but they don't have a plan they just hate mine -oh yes- or whatever it is Jefferson started it -huh yes sure-
12. forgetting your sons birthday? I forget my own age, sis. these little details just escape my attention. I like forgot it was my boyfriend's birthday this year - we literally live in the same flat. it took me a couple hours and a reminder from facebook. literally. and then I'll try to get away - hahaha it's like me saying to my parents - oh sure I'll some visit in a couple of months (they live in another part of the country) and then in a half a year being like oh wow when was the last time I went home
13. oh, here comes some more heavy stuff - say no to this. I was in a couple situations where I lost this battle. I think I have some polyamorous tendencies? but I am also very posessive and jealous, yeah, not a great mix, I know. so, I might have sorta dated two girls at one time once. well, not really dated, we were just bi-curious with one? we were friends, just... um, trying things. and then at some point I met another girl and it escalated pretty quickly and we sorta got together (oh my god the whole situation was a mess I was so confused about my sexuality back then and so ashamed you have no idea) and I didn't break it off with the first girl, but it was okay since we weren't... a thing? they knew each other but had no idea I slept with both of them. well we haven't really gotten that far with the first one but. and then the other asked at some point if she's the only one I do this with and I lied and a month into this endeavor I realized it was too much and sorta stopped seeing the first girl. we also stopped being close friends pretty soon afterwards. all my "lovestories" are embarassing actually, but this one is also the one I am most ashamed of. and then there were many situations in life when I was attracted to multiple people at the same time and ugh, I don't know, I kind of hate it, honestly. cheating is not okay. it is okay if everybody is okay with the polyamorous relationship though, but I never got to do it. so, yeah Ham's a dick but so am I
and on that depressing note I wanna wrap it up because I sorta killed the mood with that story. i think that's called oversharing?
if you actually read it to this point - wtf, you have nothing better to do or what?
I am not even gonna tag it so people don't have to scroll over that shit while searching for good content really I just like writing
the whole time I've been writing this my cat just kept staring at me. unblinkingly. I can feel her JUDGING ME
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yonaih · 4 years
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en route II - [ doc x lion ]
posted on ao3 as aIIegro (capital i’s in username)
word count: 2.2k
a/n: it’s shorter than the last chapter, but i really wanted to put this one out lol. ALSO IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED IN FUTURE TAGS, SEND ME AN ASK OR MESSAGE !!!!
Much like the eye of a hurricane, serenity came from deep inside Olivier as he stepped into the pristine, dimly lit office. It was much less luxurious than Gustave’s office area at the infirmary. Mounds of finished paperwork crowded the right side of his desk, but the enormous pile of unfinished work loomed above the rest of the cluttered space. It was almost cartoonish. The fluorescent lights overhead gave the cramped room a dingy look and made Gustave appear gaunt and even more tired than usual. Apart from the white lab coat hanging from a hook behind him, the walls were rather sparse. A small wooden cabinet tucked in the far corner had a cluster of small, well cleaned picture frames, filled with people Olivier couldn’t quite see or recognize. Not looking up from his rapid typing, the doctor flipped a page in a file and asked in his heavily accented voice, “Who’s there?”
“It’s Olivier,” Lion said hoarsely, still strangely calm. The storm of rapid fire thoughts had greatly subsided, leaving him stranded with no coherent train of thought. He ignored Doc’s darkened gaze that pierced a part of his soul and radiated suspicion. 
“What do you want—”
“I brought you coffee.” Weakly offering the sad, still steaming cup, Lion fought valiantly to soften his neutral expression. Almost a smile. 
“I see” was Gustave’s response. His tone was emotionless and steady, but he couldn’t hide the curious glint in his typically stoic eyes. Lion’s behaviour was absurd, to say the least. In fact, it was quite the opposite of his normal self; he was actually rather amiable. Gustave couldn’t just swear him out like usual when Olivier wasn’t even doing anything to provoke him. “Merci beaucoup.” Standing up, he reached over his desk as Olivier handed him the cup. 
“You like espresso still, right?” Shifting his weight onto one leg, Lion leaned against the doorframe and tried to gauge the medic’s reaction. 
“I...yes, I do,” Doc responded, his voice slightly strained. Immense confusion raged inside his mind, leaving the doctor with a surplus of unanswered questions. “You remembered?” Sipping carefully, he kept his eyes on Olivier, still unsure of how to respond to the sudden act of kindness. 
“Oui.” Olivier’s murmured reply was almost too soft for Gustave to hear. Doc remained silent as he sat, both looking and not looking at the other operator. Lion was internally celebrating his first little win, waiting for the other man to dismiss him. His shoelaces have never seemed more interesting, and he was suddenly aware of the lint on his pants. 
“Are you going to sit down or not?” Motioning with his free hand, Gustave nodded at a single, tiny plastic chair across from him, giving Olivier an owlish look. 
Shocked, he sat down quickly and without objection. He couldn’t have been more surprised by the vicissitude of Doc’s attitude towards him. What do I do? Lion was in a panic, and Gustave could tell, even if he himself was just as clueless. Both were equally lost. Neither could figure out the motivations of the other, and the proximity without toxicity laid the first, pitifully small, stepping stone in a bridge that could remedy the divide between each other. Olivier was still driven by the mysterious yearning for something less like forgiveness and more like a compromise, a treaty. Or at least, he thought he was. Neither spoke until Gustave had finished his coffee and did some finishing touches on one of the folders of work he had completed. 
“Was it alright?” Olivier, anxious once more, squirmed a little in his seat and tried to read Gustave's expression. The doctor pushed the finished folder aside and looked at him, his expression void of emotion. 
“It was.” In truth, it was too sweet for him, but Olivier had always been one to put in too much sugar. He puts sugar on his buttered toast, Doc suddenly remembered, a pang of nostalgia running through him. He brushed it off. 
Taking advantage of the peaceful waters between them, Gustave asked, “What do you want?”
“I…” Olivier started. “I wanted to talk.”
“About?”
“Us. Or at least, what happened in Africa—“
“Get out.” It was abrupt, to say the least. Suddenly guarded, Gustave looked...odd. There was something different about his normally neutral expression. His eyes? Lion didn’t fail to notice how Doc glanced at the picture frames beside him. Was he still bitter over his colleague? Who was it?
“What?” He was surprised. Didn’t Gustave want to get along with him? Was Gilles lying? “Kateb—“
“Leave.”
“I—“
“Now.” Gustave was glaring holes into his own hands, clasped tightly on top of his desk, not meeting Olivier’s eyes. 
In the blink of an eye, Olivier found himself outside the tiny office, the door slamming behind him. Even through the haze of confusion and slight anger, Olivier could tell that Gustave didn’t act out of hatred; he was nursing a wound deep inside him. Lion couldn’t understand why, though. Still in shock, he texted Montagne, hoping for an answer. After a few minutes, he got a reply asking to meet him in their dorm. Gilles later confirmed that Gustave was, indeed, caught off guard and kicked him out in defense. The two met in the communal living room, since the other three GIGN operators were off in a training simulation.
“That didn’t go too well, did it?” Gilles gave him a sympathetic smile, sitting on a couch across from Lion. The fireplace crackled softly behind him, casting a warm glow on Olivier’s face as he distractedly eyed the wall behind him.
“Non.” Shifting in his seat, Olivier kicked his legs up onto his chair and sprawled out on the cushions. “It did not.”
“It’ll be okay, mon ami. Africa is still a touchy subject for him.” “You talked to him about it?”
Pausing for a moment, Gilles thought hard about his answer. “I have before. He’s very unwilling to acknowledge it, from what I’ve seen and understand.”
Olivier scoffed, still instinctively bitter about the mention of Gustave.
“Look, he’s not the best at feelings and neither are you. I know you’re just as upset about Africa as he is.” “No shit,” he snarled, starting to get up from his chair. “But he acts like I’m just fucking fine. I’m not peachy keen on having these fucking nightmares about...about Africa, alright? The people that died? I see them, alright? He acts like it’s nothing, always playing the damn victim card! He doesn’t give a shit about how I feel about it.” He punctuated his words with a jab of his hand. 
“Hey,” Gilles responds evenly, raising a hand in surrender. Olivier sat back down, still giving him a vaguely hostile stare. “No one said you were perfectly okay or that he’s the one that is right, but I’m just trying to remind you that both of you aren’t always complete opposites of each other. You have similar goals.”
“Hm.” Olivier looked away, thinking.
“You both value lives, just in different ways.”
“Okay. I know.”
“Do you want me to talk to him about it again?”
“Yeah.” A brief lull in the conversation gave both operators a period of reflection.
“Consider it done.” “Merci,” Lion replied grudgingly. He was secretly grateful.
“I’ll leave you be now. See you at dinner?” “Yeah. Bye.”
“Gustave will come around,” Montagne reassured, smiling at him. “And Em is making filet mignon. Don’t be late.” Olivier hummed absentmindedly, vaguely watching him leave. Once the man was gone, Olivier turned to watch the cloudy sky outside their little bubble of a base. It was unusual for him to be this still, but he couldn’t help but concern himself with a seemingly endless amount of possible scenarios in which he could talk to Gustave.
Gilles marked it as a win in his book. Olivier was still mildly upset by Gustave’s outburst in his office, but he was determined to finish what he had started. Picking at some lint on his grey pants, he considered bringing the medic another cup of coffee. After all, they couldn’t beat around the bush that was their past. At least, not for long.
Almost instantly, Lion found himself reliving the Ebola incident all over again. Too late to pull himself out of the hole he had unknowingly dug himself into, Olivier hoped his godforsaken memories brought back something good at least. 
He was wrong.
It started long before anything in Africa. His friendship with Gustave, that is. Almost two peas in a pod, they were partners in the GIGN. Olivier still remembered some of the little details about the other man. He remembered the times where they would hang out in a secluded area of the barracks so they could work on the original stim pistol, staying up late to perfect the firing mechanism. He recalled the exact number of iterations and prototypes they had gone through. Seventy-two. As far as he could tell, the current stim pistol design hadn’t changed since then. They spent a little over a year together in the same unit. He knew Gilles was there too, but he had no memorable moments with Montagne. He could easily recount every time Gustave burned his hand soldering. Eighteen. The pictures and scenes in his head were grainy and dim, but he could remember it all.
Most importantly, he remembered his feelings for Gustave. In Olivier’s eyes they probably weren’t reciprocated to begin with, but, to him, it was a trivial qualm compared to the insurmountable wall that came as a result of their last mission as a unit. 
They were sent to Africa to keep a quarantine. 
Lion shuddered just thinking about it.
Any good that came out of that operation was dashed by the shitshow that was the protocol that Lion had regrettably committed to. What else could he have done? He didn’t remember what he did or what protocol he even followed, but he saw what happened during and after. Olivier didn’t even know if he couldn’t recall the protocol because he had never needed to follow it again or because he was simply repressing it. 
Somehow, he couldn’t repress the smell of rotten flesh and charred bodies, nor could he forget the cries of anguish resonating through the haze of something detonating. 
None of these flashbacks were new. He had lived through these again and again before, but this time was different. He could remember something else, something faint. This emerging memory wasn’t tangible, but he tried his best to reach as far deep as he could, just to brush the tips of his fingers on the wisp of a fading scene. 
The memory came back, as vivid as anyone could imagine. It was more of a picture than an event. A snapshot of time. He couldn’t move, couldn’t hear. He could only see and pray. Nothing seemed to be moving; everything was frozen. Grimly, Olivier focused on observing what was in front of him, desperately struggling to get a grip on what he saw. 
It was Gustave. It had been quite some time since the memory took place, but he looked so young here, his head void of any white hairs, surrounded by debris and splatters of blood. A single, deep red drop was caught midair, falling from an unseen cut on the back of his hand. Breathless, Olivier continued to soak up any of the details he could hold on to, despite all of the pain it caused him. There was dirt mixed in with Gustave’s own blood all over his face, dust hanging lazily in the air. His hair was a mess, and his uniform looked faded because of all the sand that clung to its navy blue fabric. He looked defeated.
In his arms was a young child, limbs mangled and hair matted with blood.
There was a lot more blood than Olivier had anticipated.
Almost like taking a step back, he saw the bigger picture. The scene was almost serene, painted like a Renaissance painting. Doc was standing in the middle, cradling the body, his entire self backlit by the gaping hole in the roof of the tent that once served as the medbay. He really did look like an angel, but there was still all of the blood. 
And Gustave’s eyes.
A twisted feeling of anger, betrayal, and sadness clouded his expression. His balaclava was almost entirely torn and shredded in places, revealing numerous cuts and scrapes. Still frozen in time, he regarded Olivier with an overwhelming sense of resentment and internalized grief. Eyebrows knitted together, mouth twisted in contempt. The child was still dead in his arms.
It felt like hell again.
Why now? Why would he remember it now?
Gustave’s words screamed at him, but they were too fuzzy, too muffled. It made Lion feel worse. He couldn’t remember what Doc had said.
“I’m sorry,” Olivier mouthed, the view before him dissipating. He found himself in the same position in the chair he was sitting in, the fireplace still crackling merrily in front of him. No one was there to see or hear him as he choked back sobs.
“Olivier?”
He recognized that voice.
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