#I just find it so much easier to stay out of music discourse

[vibraniumwing]

only girl in the world.

a sam wilson x fem!reader wherein the reader cleans the apartment due to jealousy.

WARNING: NSFW (18+, minors DNI. ), praise kink, oral stimulation (f receiving), fingering, vaginal penetration (wrap it before you tap it lovelies), light choking, swearing, the setting is set somewhere in between AoU and CACW so like around the time in Ant-Man ?? also slight au ( i think )

A/N: so this is for @anchoeritic's 3k writing challenge! seeing that she’s a fellow sam wilson simp, i chose him for this fic (and we are seriously lacking in sam wilson content i hate this) and because it’s sam’s birthday we’re gonna celebrate >:)))) icb he’s an aries though. uGh

prompt/scenario: character A catching character B singing

word count: 3.7k

---

Dating a superhero meant there was a lot of restrictions; cuddles and movie dates with them are fleeting moments since you never know when they would get a call about a grape-headed alien terrorizing the planet and you couldn’t flaunt them as much as you wanted to because your safety would be greatly affected if their arch nemesis finds out about your existence.

But regardless of it all, you were thankful because Sam never made you feel less of what you really are to him. A lot of your friends who know about your relationship with The Falcon were envious about how mature the both of you are, managing to balance both of your work lives and your personal ones at home; none of them really knowing how immature the both of you are behind closed doors.

Making this another reason why you loved the privacy being hidden from the public eye; you felt like you were in your own coming-of-age, rom-com movie with Sam with all the hidden rendezvous at The Washington Mall at midnight and drive around the empty streets of the city just until the crack of dawn or just stay at home and cook countless of meals, teaching each other recipes from both sides of your families

It was the relationship anyone could have ever dreamed of.

---

“You’re not making this any easier for me, baby girl.” Sam said, sighing inwardly as he stuffed his duffel. He was going over to New York for a few days, probably on another mission with the Avengers (or training with them) and you weren’t having any of it; wanting nothing more than to have him home and with you for a few more days一 possibly forever if that was even possible.

You groaned softly at his response, sitting on the bed with your knees hugged to your chest as you watch him ready his things for yet another mission. “Then don’t go” You simply told him, face holding the same sad expression as your lower lip was jutted out in a small pout as you looked away, not waiting to tear up once again; him leaving for missions was always the hardest.

A chuckle left his lips, setting the suitcase down on the carpeted floor of your shared room before claiming his spot next to you; the dip of the bed from his weight caused you to look at him. “You know I wouldn’t dare to leave if I had the chance to, right?” He asked, his scooting closer to you and pressed a kiss to your shoulder. “But I always come back, right? Because you’re my home.”

You relaxed under his touch, stretching your legs unto the bed and wrapped your arms around his muscular frame, hugging him close to you in fear that he might disappear all of a sudden. “I know, but do you really have to go?” You murmur, hiding your face against his neck, the way your breath falls on his skin causes goosebumps to rise on his own.

“I have to, they need me, sweets.” He explains, wrapping his arms around your own frame and squeezes gently, enough to convey that he’ll be fine; that he’ll be safe and unharmed after all of the fighting he has due.

“I’ll be back in no time.” His reassurance made you sigh inwardly, knowing that you can’t convince him otherwise. Sam was always just like that, once something is set on his mind on something, he won’t stop until he gets it done. He rarely second guesses what he wants and he does, you’re the person he talks to.

You didn’t speak anymore, opting to let the warmth from his body consume you and lull you into sleep, his hand tracing small shapes into your back as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Go to sleep, baby. I love you.”

---

The sunlight that peeked in through the sheer fabric of the curtains was enough to wake you up, reaching over to Sam’s side, expecting to feel him there but instead you were greeted with the sound of paper crumpling from the side of your hand. Stirring awake, you sat up and grabbed the note that was folded neatly.

“I’ll be back soon, baby girl. Don’t miss me too much, I love you.” You read outloud, adoring how neat his handwriting was, hugging the paper to your chest before whispering, “I love you too” before placing the note by your bedside table, rolling out of bed to get on with your day when your phone dinged. Looking at the lit up screen, you smiled at the message from Sam.

[ from: birdman lover ]

- It hasn’t even been a day and I already miss you.

- This’ll be a long week.

- Have a great day though.

- I love you.

---

- Steve’s still clueless on how phones work but he’s getting there. He “greets you a hello”.

The rest of the week was your normal routine, aside from the occasional texts and calls you would get from Sam whenever he had the chance to check his phone; telling you how much he missed you and sharing stories of what’s going on inside the compound. It was like he never left, the only difference being he wasn’t physically there to give you the affection.

Saturday morning soon rolled around and you were bouncing off the walls excited that you had to wait just one more day before Sam could come back home; come back to you. You practically bounced off the walls as you did all your errands一 mainly you getting your car cleaned and your weekly Target run一 and your day was all rainbows and sunshines.

Until it wasn’t. You were scrolling through your Instagram when you saw a picture that made your blood boil immensely. It was a photo of an actress (who was extremely good looking) in the arms of The Falcon. You had to take a few moments in to fully register the fact that the woman had managed to snag a photo with him, “He’s even hotter in person.” You read the caption out loud, eyes rolling in irritation, even replying to some comments from her fanbase, making it seem like they were dating.

You rarely get jealous about anything with Sam, being so secure with your relationship with him but seeing someone who has a platform freely post him made you writhe in your seat about how you should be the one flexing him like that, not her or anyone else.

You opted to call your lover to tell him how you feel but there was this side of you that didn’t want to go through a whole discourse with him through the phone so you went with the better option, cleaning the fuck out of your apartment until your agression washes away.

Plugging your phone to the sound system, you started off with Rihanna’s Only Girl in the World before grabbing the broom from the small closet in your apartment's kitchen, starting to sweep the floor. “You’re a bad bitch, Y/N. Now go clean,” You hyped yourself up in the mirror before strutting back to the living room to sweep your emotions away.

Unbeknownst to you however was the fact that Sam was well on his way home. He got to go back home earlier than expected and he didn’t tell you, wanting to give you a surprise. Jogging up the stairs of your apartment complex, he was practically rushing to make it your door so he can finally kiss you.

Finally finding the keys to your shared apartment, he opened the door and slowly creeped in, expecting to see you seated on the couch but what he saw was something else. He was stunned beyond words to see you clad nothing but his shirt and a messy bun while holding a broom, singing your heart out.

“Want you to make me feel like I’m the only girl in the world” you sang out loud, holding onto the broom as if it was a mic while you danced, awkwardly body rolling to the beat. “Like I’m the only one that you’ll ever love, like I’m the only one who knows your heart” You continued, starting to “sweep” the floor again while grooving to the beat of the song, not noticing Sam who was silently watching you.

“Like I’m the only one who’s in command” Your voice blending into the music as you rocked around the room, singing your heart out to the chorus. “Cause I’m the only one who understands how to make you feel like a ma一 Sam!”

You dropped the broom, jumping up in the air as you turned around to see your boyfriend leaning by the wall, watching you with an amused expression while holding his arms out to you. “Are you just gonna stand there or come here and give me a hug?” He questioned, raising up an eyebrow at you.

Wasting no time, you paused the song before making your way over to him and jumped into his arms, wrapping your legs around his waist as you hugged him. “How long have you been here? Why are you here already? Shouldn’t you be coming home tomorrow?” Your bombardment with questions made him chuckle, his arms going under your thighs to support your weight, walking towards the couch and settling the both of you on there.

“I wanted to surprise you, baby. We finished a little bit earlier than expected so the moment we got back to the compound I was well on my way home.” He answered, one of his hands retreating from your backside to sneak up and cup your jaw, thumb tracing it gently. His eyes were locked with yours, filled with adoration and love as he continued, “turns out you have a surprise of your own for me. What’s got you cleaning so aggressively?”

You laughed, the anger you had just moments ago melting away as you lean into his touch, “It’s nothing, Sammy. Just me being a little jealous, is all.” You explained, finding it easy to admit your feelings. Your relationship with him was just like that; centered on honesty, understanding, and love. The reason why you’re so assured with him.

“Jealous? What’s got my baby jealous?” His brows were furrowed at the answer, mind trying to remember his actions prior to this conversation to see if he had done anything wrong but came up with nothing. “Did I do something?” He questioned, sitting up a bit as the conversation got more serious.

“I just saw this picture of this you and this actress posted on her instagram and一” you paused, finding it silly now that you’ve even been this jealous about this in the first place. “一I just got jealous that she could post you on their social media so freely. Kind of made me realize that I’m still not existent in the eyes of others; I should be the one posting you like that. Kind of made me realize that I’m not the only girl in the world that wants you.” you finished, not wanting to look into his eyes anymore at the sudden sadness from being hidden.

Normally, you wouldn’t even bat an eye on it but seeing how broken you were, Sam was shattered that you had to go through that thought. “There’s no need to feel ashamed that you got jealous, Y/N.” He said, the hand that was on your jaw now going under your chin to make you look at him again. “I know I insisted that I hide you from the public eye so you can be safe from harm and I’m sorry that because of it makes you feel like this.”

He sighed softly, leaning in to press a chaste kiss against your lips. “But if you’re ready to be introduced to everyone, even to the team, then I’ll be more than glad to show you to the world.” Sam said, his lips just millimeters away from yours, “The only girl I’ll ever love.” He finished, locking his lips with yours.

You swore on the fact that Sam’s lips were made for your own, the pace slow and sensual, enough to relay that he was sticking to his words and that you didn’t need to worry about anything. His plush tiers felt soft against yours, his teeth sinking into your bottom one, nibbling against it softly before swiping his tongue against it.

“Does my angel want me to show her how much she really means to me?” He whispers, pressing one more kiss to your lips before pulling back, locking his gaze with yours, pupils blown with love and adoration clouded with a hint of lust over the thought of seeing you squirm under him.

Given the fact that you were sitting on his lap, you could feel how hard he was under you. “You feel that, darling? You do that to me.” He groans as you shift, the friction causing his dick to twitch inside his tight jeans. “Be a good girl and use your words, baby.”

“Want you, Sam.” You say, mind too aroused and clouded with perverse thoughts due to the lack of touch you had from him this week to make a concise sentence. “Want you to make me feel good, please.” You beg, brows furrowing lightly in need as you watch him study your expression, a small smile forming on his lips as he easily hoists you up, arms gripping your thighs.

“How can I resist such a good girl begging for me to make her feel good?” He questions, gracing your lips with another chaste kiss as he carries you into your shared bedroom, placing you on the bed as he hovers above you. “I’ll make you feel so good tonight, sweets.”

His lips are then on yours again, his lower half grinding on yours a few times to rile you up, making you elicit a few moans that caused him to go overdrive. He grunts, taking in the scandalous sounds you make before sitting back up, taking the shirt off from your body, throwing his head back at the sight of you clad in only your underwear. “You do know how to make me go wild, baby doll.”

You smiled at him, happy that you were able to make him go haywire at just the sight of you not even fully naked. “My clothes never seem to stay on with you around anyways.” You answer, making him chuckle lightly as he started to attack your neck with kisses, nipping at the skin quite harshly making you hiss in pleasurable pain.

“You look better naked” was all he said before taking in one of your breasts, tongue swirling around the hard nub as his hand teased the other, fingers pinching on it lightly making you take a sharp gasp. He did this for a few moments before kissing his way from the valley of your breasts all the way down to the top of your panties.

Sam looked up at you with a devilish grin upon the realization of what lingerie you were wearing, “My angel looks so good.” he praises, taking a moment to admire your already fucked out appearance with lips swollen and hickey littered skin. He was quick to take off your underwear, eyes filled with hunger at the sight of your soaking cunt.

This feeded his ego to no ends, seeing you so needy for him. “I haven’t even touched you yet you’re already so wet for me, baby girl.” he commented, hands caressing your inner thighs teasingly as he took a moment to drink in the sight of you.

The way his rough and slightly calloused hands were in juxtaposition to the smoothness of your skin granted goosebumps to run along your skin, the cold air of the room adding on to your arousal. “Sam, please. Need you.” You begged once more, attempting to close your legs for some needed friction but his sudden grip on it making you think otherwise.

“Almost there, baby. Patience.” He said, bringing two digits to very lightly graze upon your slit before bringing it up to your lips, his thumb tapping your bottom lip, “Open up, sweets. Wanna see you taste yourself first.” He ordered, wanting to see you suck on his fingers.

Wanting nothing more than his touch, you easily obliged and took his fingers in without him prying them open. Your eyes were locked with his as you sucked on it, setting a blaze inside his eyes that you haven’t seen before, that lone making your stomach twist in knots.

As soon as Sam was satisfied at how wet you made his fingers, he finally gave your throbbing pussy the attention it yearned for. Inserting the two digits inside of you with ease as he slowly started to pump it in and out of your heat while his thumb rubbed circles on your sensitive bundle of nerves.

You were a moaning mess under his touch, back arching at the slightest touch he would do to your clit. You were overwhelmed with the pleasure he was providing you. “F-fuck!” You breathlessly moan, hips bucking up as you wanted more of his touch.

Sam then leaned, tongue lapping up your sweet juices as he sucked on your aching clit, the gentle suckling was sinful to your ears. He moaned at the taste of you, its vibrations against you making you whine at the contact. He curled his fingers inside you, easily finding your sweet spot upon seeing how you writhed under his touch.

With Sam’s tongue abusing your clit to no end and his digits mercilessly pumping in and out of you, the tension was all too much to handle that the knot that was in your stomach finally broke. “Go on, baby. Come for me, why don’t you.” He said, feeling how your walls were clamping up around him. The euphoria that followed made your legs tremble as you reached your high, shamelessly moaning Sam’s name mixed with profanities as he continued to finger you through your orgasm.

“Such a good girl for me” Was his words, rising up from his position. You watched as he licked up every last drop of your cum off his fingers, rolling off the bed to rid himself off from his own clothes, your mouth practically watering at the sight of his rock hard length that sprung out from the tight confinements of his boxers.

You were gonna reach out to feel him when he stopped you, “No, baby. Tonight, it’s all about you, remember?” he said, stroking his length a few times, thumb circling around his tip that was glistening with pre-cum as he got back on the bed, positioning himself on top of you. “You ready?”

“Y-yes, Sam.” and upon hearing your answer, he eased into you. Both moaning at the longing of feeling each other intimately. No matter how many times the two of you would fuck, you still couldn’t get used to his size. He filled you up quite easily, his hips meeting yours as he filled you in deep.

Ever the gentleman, he waited for you to give the signal that you were ready and upon your nod, he started to move slowly, wanting to ease you into the pace.. Sam’s groans were music to your ear, “So fucking tight, angel.” He said, one of his hands reaching up to wrap around your neck, pressing against its sides lightly.

“F-faster, Sam. Please” You said and he complied, like your words were pressed a switch in him, he started to relentlessly slam into you, fucking you into the bed and into oblivion. His other hand was on the headboard, palm spread out to gain some support, the bed shaking violently as he continued.

“Let me hear those moans, angel. Let everyone know who you belong to.” Sam said, the hold around your neck tightening slightly, wanting to see you slowly gasp out for air as you let out those heavenly yet sinful sounds, “Who do you belong to, baby?”

“Y-You, Sam!” You answer, feeling your body writhe as another orgasm was already brewing at the pit of your stomach. “F-fuck, I-i’m yours!” You continued, eyes practically rolling to the back at the immense amount of pleasure you got from him drilling you into the mattress.

With those words that left your lips, he started to pound to you even rougher, not caring if the neighbouring apartments heard your cries of pleasure or the squeaking of the bed. You were his and it was his very intention to let everyone know that. “That’s right, doll. You belong to me.” he said, his eyes on your fucked out face. “Mine to fuck and mine to love.”

Feeling the knot in your stomach about to burst, your hands were gripping the bed sheets as you cried out in pleasure, “I’m gonna cum!” body unable to handle the amount of pleasure being handed to you as Sam continued to fuck you out, riding out your high until his own climax hit with one final slam, moaning as he filled you up with his own cum.

Pulling out slowly, Sam took the time to admire his own cum mixed with your drip down from your cunt, a feeling of satisfaction spread through his chest at the sight of you. He leaned in to kiss you once again, this time it was soft and just filled with love, hand running along your sides gently, “Such a good girl for me.” he whispered, pressing one last kiss before he stood up and walked over to the bathroom.

You attempted to follow him, but ultimately failed as your legs were shaking too much from your recent orgasm. You could hear Sam chuckle as he re-emerged from the other room, a wet washcloth in his hand as he approached you. “Let me take care of it, alright princess?” He said softly.

He then started to clean you up, making sure to whisper soft praises about how you took him so well and of how you were so good for him. The moment he was done, he mindlessly threw the cloth into the hamper, collapsing on the bed and took you in his arms, eager to cuddle you. Sam pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, “I love you, Y/N. You’re the only girl I’ll ever love.”

You hummed softly, making yourself comfortable in his arms, reaching up to steal a kiss from him, “I love you too, Sammy. I’ll always love you.”

---

TAGLIST: @harrysweasleys @selenasprompts @weasleytwins-41 @anchoeritic @darthwheezely (hello fellow the falcon simp)

if your name is in bold, it means that i can't tag you for some weird reason. join my taglist! find the link in my main masterlist!

#kelly's 3k wc ! #sam wilson #sam wilson x reader #sam wilson x y/n #sam wilson x you #sam wilson fic #sam wilson fics #sam wilson imagine #sam wilson imagines #sam wilson fluff #sam wilson smut #the falcon #the falcon x reader #anthony mackie x reader #mcu #marvel #mcu x reader #mcu smut

[berlinini]

Sense you seem pretty new what exactly it is about Harry that put you off to begin with how did you reach your conclusions about him. I am just curious

Anon, this has been sitting for so long in my ask box that you've probably forgotten about it... sorry!!! I struggled with how to reply, thinking I would pull out all the receipts, then thinking I wouldn't even answer, but here we go... I tried to keep it somewhat short (I might have failed).

[TW: anti-Harry Styles discourse below the cut! (LOL)]

I have much to say about this but I'm gonna go with one thing that I felt. There are of course many facts that helped me reach this conclusion but as I've said, I had an intuition, an uneasy feeling when I was in ~Harryland~.

So, in my brief (but intense) stay there, I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that Harry was so different through the years/eras... like how is cute fetus harry the same person as frat boy harry, who is the same person as hot and intimidating long hair harry, who is the person as proper and suited up dunkirk/hs1 harry, who is the same as grandpa fine line harry? I really had the impression these were separate Harry...(and I'm not just talking about the looks/fashion).

And then I realized it's because they are, it's the public persona du jour... it's become very clear to me that Harry is projecting so many different "personalities" so he caters to everyone... you have closeted by management, victimized, larry Harry Styles, you have rainbow-flags-waiving LGBTQ Icon Harry Styles, you have only publicly dating handsome white women Harry Styles, dating my director who broke her 10 years relationship for me Harry Styles, HS1 "rockstar" Harry Styles, pop star FL Harry Styles, singing WS in a leather suit Harry Styles...

It's everything and nothing at the same time. There's something for everyone (and this becomes more apparent as we see him catering to the GP) and so, in the end, there's nothing. It's Harry Styles™️.

It could be that the man is a chameleon! And he absolutely has the right to change over the years. However when I looked beyond those apparent changes, I couldn't find anything about who Harry really was, not even as an artist.

It's a lot of vague stuff, like "I haven't found a cause to support", "sexuality is just fun", "i don't see gender in clothing", "just making the kind of music that i like"... His inability to take a stance on anything has proven to me that either he has no opinion or, most likely, he does not want to be firm on anything, as a PR technique, so his image stays malleable and he can permanently reinvent himself to stay relevant. He's playing all sides of the coin; of being a "woke king" without putting any real work, of participating and benefiting from Holivia, but without ever confirming it so it's easier to deny it when it's over; of saying "everyone's a little bit gay" and singing about making out with boys in concert but keeping it safe when answering sexuality questions in interviews so he's seen as both woke and non-threatening for the GP, and he can always change the narrative in a few years when it's safer to do so.

It's a lot of props, industry relations and empty words/performative activism...

It's having TPWK as a slogan but shading his ex-bandmates all the time, all while saying he's proud of coming from a boyband. It's making a big deal out of Zayn and Louis smoking weed and almost "destroying" 1D and then bragging about taking mushrooms to create Fine Line. It's sending flowers and gifts to the cast and crew of DWD, as if it would be enough to make up for creating a messed up work environment because he's an actor sleeping with the director. It's literally telling Zach Lowe that the way Zayn left the band was "unprofessional" and then, one year later, having a public affair with his director ON SET...

The only thing I could figure about who he was, is that he is someone who has decided to become very famous, and I gotta give it to him for working hard and having people around him working ever harder to achieve that. The end justifies the mean, I guess.

So when I realized all that, I honestly felt like I had been duped all along. Then I found out there are literally blogs for "ex-Harries" so I gathered I must not have been the only one to realize that it's a lot of glitter and gold but nothing of substance...

Of course, to a certain extent, we don't really know any celebrity. It's all a façade so there's no surprise here. But I was really put off by what I found out about Harry and sadly I don't find his music good enough for me to brush it off and continue supporting him or enjoy his work. I did enjoy his songs for a while, but now all I can think about is Watermelon Sugar, and the fact that it's gonna be his legacy...it tells you everything you need to know.

#answered ask #anon #harry styles #if you've read this till the end you deserve a prize! #btw everytime i read/hear the word watermelon i want to throw up #i was thinking about suing HS for emotional and physical damages #should i do it? #i'm joking #...or am i? #tumblr user berlinini

[arcticwaters]

i’ve said a couple times that i have a beau meta ready and was just waiting to hear marisha’s thought on a certain topic, and now we have! i now feel more confident talking about something that i took issue with: the idea that beau only backed off from jester and gave her blessing to fjord begrudgingly as a sign of her lack of self worth and is only going for yasha because she’s better than nothing.

alright, so under the cut is that post, my thoughts overall on the idea of beau “lying” and “self sabotaging,” how her relationship with jester and yasha has changed, and how yasha just really deserves so much. keep in mind everything here is like A MONTH OLD, i wrote all this around the time ep 110 aired. frankly i don’t even know how relevant most of this even is anymore cuz i don’t pay attention to discourse BUT people are claiming once again that beau is only “settling” for yasha so, here we go. (i added in more recent thoughts regarding marisha’s answer on talks at the very end.)

the idea that beau was just downplaying her feelings for jester to fjord like “haha no prob bro! totally over that pffft you’re in the clear” makes me super uncomfortable?? i get it would be in character for beau. i get that she thinks she’s second best and jester is looking at fjord, not her, so she would push her best friends together because she loves them and she’s not Worthy. that would be a very beau move. but doing so would also be saying that she herself only sees yasha as second best to jester. that she is now only pursuing yasha because “welp, my first choice is off the table :/”

and i find that to be SO disrespectful to yasha, who cares about beau so deeply and has had feelings for her long before beau had feelings for jester. who has been through SO MUCH and deserves to have someone love her solely for her, and not just because she was there, a back up because oh-so precious jester wasn’t available. yasha, who did the thing beau wants more than anything: picked her first. like do ya’ll honestly think beau “constantly upset that she’s never anyone’s first choice” regard would turn around and treat yasha, who she knows has been through hell, exactly like that? (never mind that yasha was beau’s first choice, but okay.) because ultimately that is what that take is saying, there’s really no other way around it. no matter how much she might be spiraling, beau wouldn’t do that to her friend who’s already been through so much heartbreak. yasha deserves better than that and she is better than that.

and to be clear i’m talking specifically about the idea that beau was just choking back her still-strong feelings for jester because she realized she wasn’t good enough and she Hoped Too Much But Wasn’t Enough. so she just pushed them deep down, lied that they were gone, and secretly-tearfully stepped aside for fjord and that basically that whole ep108 talk was another example of beau self sabotaging herself ala the hag. (even claiming that because of this she is headed towards another downward spiral??) the idea that she must’ve been lying.

is it really so hard to think that maybe beau just got over jester? that she told fjord about it, not to deflect, but because she just wanted to be honest? that she can still care for jester and her wellbeing, but just no longer in a wholly romantic way? (you can know your best friend inside and out just as easily as someone you’re interested in after all.) that maybe she realized her jester crush was just not that deep? it was, in her own words after all, just a crush. she wasn’t in love.

let’s not forget that beau’s second playlist, which specifically had a song for yasha that confirmed it was a crush all along and not just a physical thing, and nothing really romantic at all for jester, was released before they did ep108. if beau really did still feel strongly for jester, strong enough that she only said she was over her because of self sabotage,,, wouldn’t there have been a song? marisha’s not dumb; that would’ve been THE time to bring up if beau’s feelings had turned from just a little crush to something stronger, just like travis and ashley did. but she didn’t. there wasn’t even a song about not being good enough for jester and needing to step side, no song about how much it hurts to secretly be in love with your friend. jester just got a platonic song. yasha got something romantic. i bring up that it came out before 108 because it shows that this is something that’s been building up. that she didn’t hear fjord’s confession and made an on the spot decision to be like “uh, my crush is gone dude go for it!”

is it possible she was just downplaying? sure. i’m not marisha, i don’t fucking know. maybe she watched jester kiss fjord’s cheek while he was revived and realized she couldn’t compete (tho even that doesn’t really line up because beau says to him in 108 that she doesn’t know if jester still likes him, she’s only guessing.) sure, we know beau lies, but at the same time, that doesn’t mean every single thing that comes out her mouth is a lie. beau spends most of the rumplecusp arc being the most open she’s been in a long time. she spent that whole evening having moments of realness with everyone, why suddenly lie now? like what, she had a deep talk with caleb, veth, and yasha and thought “you know what? time to lie to fjord about my feelings for jester that he doesn’t even know about.” fjord just bared his soul and feelings to her; it’s just as likely that she decided now is the time to be honest with him as well, to be honest with herself, because we know this is something she’s been thinking hard about for quite a while. the cast had three whole months between 99 and 100 to stew in the minds of their characters and figure out their wants and needs, but a lot of this also started before this.

stay with me here, this is gonna be a bit long. as i’ve mentioned before, i’ve been rewatching from 92 onward, focusing mostly on beau as i go and the obvious turmoil that meeting her father again left her in. and one thing i did notice is that in 96 - the episode where she’s at her most rough - she really is all over jester, that can’t be denied. she’s like, trying really hard to get her attention. but then in 97, which is only a day later, that’s gone. then the amount of attention beau gives to jester lessens over the following arc as she gives more of it to yasha. here’s the thing about 96: it’s the peak of her spiral. she hadn’t been ok since meeting her family again, and i think all of it came to a head when she met caduceus’s and saw a loving and supportive family, a sweet gentle father. i think it (along with nearly dying earlier) just set her off and she reached the peak of her regression and decided to act out and be shitty for the sake of it, and she latched on to jester because jester lives for that kind of thing. jester is the one who will say “make confused people’s lives even more confusing for the sake of a laugh? no judgement here let’s go!” it was likely easier to be like “haha yeah we’re having so much fun together heehe you’re so attractive when you validate my bad behavior ;3″ than it was to confront the shitty horrible mindset that she was in at the time and ask for help.

and then,, she’s kind of over it? when you reach a peak, the next step is coming down from it. she got out of that temple, she watched cad say goodbye to his family, she got some sleep. she calmed a bit, turned her issues inward, instead of taking it out through unnecessary mischief. and in a moment of just having some silly fun, flirted with yasha, and yasha threw that same energy back at her. yasha, not even missing a beat and cracking dumb jokes with her, calling her beautiful? that must’ve made her feel really good. then later, while she was having some alone time, she watched yasha be alone too. this woman who, just like her, carries a lot on her shoulders and feels broken and lost; who just like her, once dealt with her inner demons through self destruction, choosing to deal with her hurt through quiet music. by being gentle and soft instead of hard and loud. not that expressing your hurt through being loud is always wrong, but that it’s likely such a different thing for beau. something she’s not used to. something she might have decided she wanted to give a try.

i think this marked a turning point for her relationship with yasha. old feelings she forced herself to not think about resurfacing, a subtle reconnection to a kindred spirit, and i think it was the kick in the ass she needed to start feeling better after kamordah. (oh also?? fjord fucking dying. there’re a lot of reasons she started moving on, but i’m focusing on the shippy.) she started reaching out to yasha more from then on and into the rumblecusp arc. there’s gentle talks on the boat, there’s more beautiful harp, there’s healing hands, there’s carrying, there’s flying with owls, there’s checking in with each other after fights, there’s looks. she seemed to be realizing that she didn’t need to cling to jester, because she didn’t need to act out and fuck with people to deal with her issues. because there was yasha, growing angel wings just to catch her. she felt, in her own jumbled words, “better than she has in a long time.” she’s doing so much better than she did a month ago, and yasha made her feel that way. i don’t think we’ll ever really know what marisha meant by “so many things, but not now” but in the context of everything, it sounds like someone who is now doing a lot of thinking.

beau had a moment, within just two days of each other, where she took a solo flight with both jester and yasha that resulted in the flying poofing out midair and they plummeted and had to scramble to land without injury. only one of them left her visibly and audibly stunned, amazed, breathless, and flustered beyond belief.

i bring all of this up, i lay this all out, because if you really think about and look at how beau’s relationship with both jester and yasha evolved over the course the late 90′s and early 100′s, what’s more likely? that beau really was spending all that time still desperately pining over jester, reluctantly stepping down for the sake of fjord’s feelings? or that she simply realized just how strong her feelings for yasha had become, and always were, and they eclipsed her feelings for jester? realized that just maybe, her feelings for jester only happened because it was less scary than falling for a widow, but that she wasn’t scared anymore? (for the record, i don’t think marisha literally meant “physical body lust” when she said that. colloquially lust doesn’t always mean “just wanted sex.” i think she meant like... something that burns hot and eager but is otherwise not the same as a commitment. jester, in this particular situation, is that puppy in the window that you fall for because it’s just so cute and happy and bright and there and you want it, but you have to stop and think “do i actually want this dog or am i just charmed by the big puppy dog eyes because i just lost my other dog?” that’s how i think she meant it.) because i genuinely don’t know how people could see beau stare at yasha with a look of absolute awe while telling her “you’re incredible” and think, two episodes later, “poor thing only stepped away from jester because she felt inferior :/”

a lot of these takes i saw were written just after 108 and thus before 109 - 110, but there’s been no indication that she’s secretly jealous of fjord, or still looking at jester like that. her eyes have been firmly on yasha and she looks very happy for fjord and jester when anything happens between them, when previously, marisha wasn’t shy about pouting a little whenever jester looked at someone else, just like liam does.

beau is not falling headlong into a horrible crash that will fuck up her relationship with jester and yasha. she’s doing better than she has in a long ass time, she’s healing. she’s finding her way to the arms of someone who she not only picked first, but who picked her first too.

present day october arctic jumping in to say now: we now know that yes in some ways, beau was thinking about fjord’s feelings, but it came from a place of love. that she stepped back not because she was thinking “oh woe is me, i’ll never be good enough for jester i shouldn’t even try :(” but rather “hey you know what? i love both of these people dearly and if they would be happy together, i’d be happy for them.” (and that trying to be with jester wasn’t even as important to her as just being there for jester.) and that her picking yasha is not a sign that she is slipping more into a dark place, but the opposite: she’s come very far in her own sense of self worth and she’s allowing herself to want something, and that’s yasha, the person she’s had feelings for since like, day one.

marisha didn’t go in too deep with the question she got or give the ins and outs of beau’s feelings for jester and yasha like i’d hoped (man they love to be coy huh?) but we know this: beau did have real, legit feelings for both of them at the same time. and, yes, beau did step away from jester because she realized that jester and fjord had something going on. but she did it because, at the end of the day, she just wants jester to be happy. i didn’t get the impression from marisha that she meant this in a somber “beau thinks jester would be happier without her :c” way, but that her platonic feelings for jester were just as strong as her romantic ones, if not more so, and stepping back was something easy for her. (this wasn’t specifically said, but because marisha brought up how jester was beau’s first real female friend, i think you could argue that there may have even been some underlying “how much of this is romantic and how much is platonic? i’ve never done this before.” just a little bit.)

there was no lie. there was no moment of “oh no i’m not good enough.” she simply let go, and she did so willingly and gracefully. her feelings were real, but they really were just a crush, one that she had no problem at all just getting over, no all encumbering [romantic] love that people seemed to think. and i honestly find this to be extremely mature of her, to realize that a silly little crush was not more important than simply being there for her best friend. to say “her happiness doesn’t have to involve a romance with me and that’s ok.” this fictional character handled a crush on a friend better than i have in the past. there was no need for some grand conflict shaking them up; she just made the choice to get over feelings that, again, she had no plans to even act on.

and maybe there’s a tiny tiny flavor of “well, i wanna be with someone and yasha’s right there, so, i guess i’ll pick her” in marisha’s answer, but i really don’t think that’s the case, or at least not the only reason beau is now going after her. especially since, much of what she said was kind of just a summary of beau’s playlist, which came out all the way back around ep103-ish. the idea that beau is slowly coming out the haze of self loathing and realizing she wants a real lover isn’t new information. i think this was just the first time that marisha had a chance to vocalize that, and it just accidentally came out like “well, yasha’s there so” because she was juggling a couple topics at once, while at the same time seemingly wanting to limit how much she said. (i feel like both she and ashley are playing it a little bit coy because they want it all to be in character, not out.) from the hints laid out throughout the campaign and beau’s own words, it’s always been yasha, the feelings were always there, beau just wasn’t at a place where she was ready to admit that she wanted a real relationship. and both of them just had things they needed to work on.

i definitely find it telling that marisha made a point to talk about how beau wants to really be with someone after talking about how she let jester go. to me this is kind of confirmation that beau, for as much as she cared about jester, really sees yasha as someone she could truly be with. after all, if jester really was The One, wouldn’t she have fought a little more for her? wouldn’t jester be the one making beau feel things that she’s “been avoiding?” (and i think it goes without saying that this “avoiding” is the idea of being in real love.) compared to yasha, who beau tried hard to get over, but was always drawn back to, who she has always felt a kinship with. beau already took yasha off the table once, but months later still found her way back to. trying to let go of yasha was not nearly as easy for beau as letting go of jester.

beau was lonely, didn’t think she deserved love, and it’s yasha who’s making her realize how much she doesn’t like being alone. yasha is the one helping beau come out that fog of self loathing, who’s making her think maybe this is something she can really let herself have. there is no self sabotaging to be found here, just mutual healing.

wow this is so long ALL OF THIS IS JUST A LONG WINDED WAY TO SAY no beau picking yasha is not her “settling” or a sign that she is secretly trying to let go of her soulfully desperately pining for jester, because beau will never think she’s good enough. she just likes yasha and is in fact doing so much better than she has in a really long time because of yasha. because yasha is incredible.

#critical role #beauyasha #critical role meta #beauyasha: heaven is where you are

[clearsky]

My Top Comfort Characters/Kins and My Main HCs For Them

(Note, not all my kins/comfort characters are on here, just the ones I have more than 5 hcs for)

CW: Korekiyo Shinguji (DRV3), Himiko Yumeno (DRV3), Shinsou Hitoshi (BNHA), Kyoko Kirigiri (THH), Tsuyu Asui (BNHA), Entrapta (Spop), Ibuki Mioda (SDR2), Celestia Ludenberg (THH), Funtime Foxy (FNAF), Peril (WOF)

Korekiyo Shinguji (DRV3)

Nonbinary

He/They pronouns

Autistic

Chains and loose accessories are for stimming

Likes the feeling of silk and cotton

Can't stand the feeling of anything rough or bumpy

He likes collecting small trinkets and the bones of small mammals

Can't stand anything salty. He'll eat it but he certainly won't enjoy it

Dating Rantaro

Can flirt, but only if he doesn't try

Petnames are a hell yea

Gets sunburnt really easily

Group dates with Celesnaegiri and Ikuzono

Can't cook for s h i t

Had a scene kid phase in middle school

Went to the same middle school as Celeste and Maki

Knew them when Celeste went through her "I'm not like other girls" phase and Maki was a Band Kid™

Himiko Yumeno (DRV3)

Female

She/Her pronouns

Lesbian

Can force herself to fall asleep within seconds regardless of where she is

100% forces herself to fall asleep when she doesn't wanna listen/talk to someone

Himiko/Angie/Tenko relationship. I'm calling them the Traffic Light Trio

She likes taking naps in the forest

She prefers enclosed/tight spaces more than open ones

Has several hundred stress balls and squishies laying around

She overheats easy

Shinsou Hitoshi (BNHA)

Questioning his gender, but goes by any pronouns

Knows he's Asexual, at least

Has no clue what his romantic orientation is though

The kind of person to carry treats in his pocket just in case he runs into a cat

Will stop to pet literally every cat he comes across

Great at reading people

Doesn't talk unless it's 100% needed

Hangs with Tokoyami, Jirou, and Denki most often

Aizawa has 100% unofficially adopted him

Fosters kittens

Not a big fan of physical touch

He is 100% in the bakusquad. Anyone who says he's in the Dekusquad is a c o w a r d

He and Tsuyu vibe

Knows a bunch of random facts

Dark humour? Dark humour

*skates backwards into his therapist's room slowly sipping from an absurdly huge cup of coffee* Candice you're not gonna BELIEVE the shit I just went through

In case I forgot to mention it, he skates

Kyoko Kirigiri (THH)

Mtf

She/Her

Bi with female preference

Burns go up to her shoulders/collarbone/chest

Prefers to just listen as opposed to saying anything

Knows a ton of random trivia about everyone else in her class

She keeps a notebook she fills with all the trivia

Doesn't celebrate her birthday. She just doesn't see the point of it

Doesn't hate sugar/sweets, but if given the choice she would choose literally everything else

Cuts her own hair

A cat person

Permanent dark circles

T-Tall 😳

Like,,, 6'1 at LEAST

Only person taller than her is Yasuhiro (6'3)

Canon no longer exist

Ahahaha healthy life habits? What are those?

Can't handle horror games

She's the kind of person you'd go to if you needed to rant but didn't want any advice

Polyamourous yo

Celeste/Kyoko/Makoto

She's a dom yall are just scared to admit it

Tsuyu Asui (BNHA)

They go by They/Them

Lesbian

They and Ochaco are dating

They like to hang with Shinsou

Which mainly just means the two sitting in one of their dorms in near total silence doing whatever

Can speak English and French as well as Japanese

Learned English from cartoons

Picked up French bc they thought it'd be fun

Prefers to stay neutral in the whole Bakusquad / Dekusquad thing

They're invited to all outings/events by/for both squads

They like puns

They're a dumbass but willingly, and for fun

Like "someone says they like dark humour and they'll turn off the lights before telling a joke" kind dumbass for fun

Great at poker

Likes Disney Movies

Very touchy once you get close enough

Not in a sexual way, just likes physical contact

Especially fond of piggyback rides and cuddles

Extreme fear of needles

Entrapta (She-Ra)

She/Her or It/Its

Doesn't bother trying to figure out whether she's cis, trans, nonbinary, or what

Was AMAB though

Short as fuck (4'7)

Strong as fuck though

Cuddle game strong

Physical touch is a fuck yes

Cuddles

Piggyback rides

Hugs

Anything where she's touching someone is wonderful in her book

As long as she's the one that initiates it

Anyone else touching her without her permission makes her freak

Prefers being high up

Makes it harder for anyone to sneak up on her

An ace at video games

When it comes to sexuality she just says she's Questioning

Ibuki Mioda (SDR2)

Any pronouns + Pup/Pupself + It/Its

No idea what their gender is otherwise

Biromantic Asexual

Just likes sexual jokes

Gets distracted easily

Has severe hearing problems

She's plays her instruments as loud as possible, with the amp right next to her, without ANY ear protection

It's caused some damage

She talks so loud bc she has no idea how loud is considered acceptable

Wears hearings aids most of the time

Several piercings and tattoos

Likes hearing things jingle

She has a bracelet with a few bells hanging from it

She'll shake it whenever she's bored

LOVES hair accessories

Ribbons are a particular favourite

Occasionally she'll hang little charms from her hair "horns"

The kind of person who never takes any pills/medicine bc she keeps forgetting she has to

Frequently uses emojis

Skates everywhere but she isn't very good at it

She keeps crashing into everything

Has broken every bone in her body at least 3 times

Most of which was bc she keeps trying to kick in doors and skating down the stairs

Celestia Ludenberg (THH)

Nonbinary

Any pronouns, mainly goes by She/They

Bi, 70:30

Collects mini hand sanitizers and can tabs

Has single handedly gotten Mario Kart, Mario Party, Monopoly, Uno, and Clue banned a grand total of 17 times (and counting)

The kind of person to purposefully target someone regardless of what game was being played

Favourite victim is Byakuya (bc he gets so upset about it and she finds that hilarious)

Mains Waluigi

Celeste/Kyoko/Makoto

Has several banned Twitter accounts bc whenever she's bored she'll start discourse on purpose

Hangs with Korekiyo, Ibuki, Byakuya, Yasuhiro, and Leon most often

It's a weird friend group but everyone's sorta gotten used to it

She and Byakuya gamble together occasionally

She tries to avoid it bc he'll willingly blow his entire fortune in an attempt to beat her

Autustic

Can't stand the feeling of water

Mainly bc she can't swim for shit

Horror movies? Hates them

Gets flustered super easily

Taka is her twin brother

Kotoko, Kokichi, and Gundham are their half siblings (Same father)

Peko and Toko are their cousins

She sucks ass at go fish

Fuck canon she's 4'11 now

C h u b b y

Freckles

Once she gets comfortable enough with herself she dyes her hair in the peekaboo style

Either black and red or black and blonde

Haven't decided yet

I'll be doing Celesnaegiri hcs as a seperate post but I just feel it's important for you to know that she expresses her affection verbally and is a very touchy person

Went to middle school with Maki and Korekiyo

Has horrible eyesight

She wears contacts most of the time but she always puts off buying more

After the 5th or so time she ended up blindly stumbling around a week after her contacts ran out Kyoko convinced her to buy glasses as well

Religious accessories yo

Like chokers and dangly earrings with crosses and pentagrams and shit

Likes wearing wacky earrings

Can run and do all sorts of tricks in heels

She and Mukuro are exes yo

Keeps her hair short so it's easier to manage

Hair never gets longer than her shoulders if she can help it

She seems like the kind of person who'd keep her bangs grown past her eyes regardless of how frustrating or inconvenient it is

She's a sub yall just don't wanna admit it

Funtime Foxy (FNAF)

I'm going on the record to say this

Funtime Foxy is genderfluid and that is that

Goes by Funtime

Any pronouns, They/Them most commonly

Plays music (keyboard and guitar mainly)

They and Funtime Freddy (Freds) mainly play with the kids

Freds mainly tells stories with Bonbon while Funtime more so plays one-on-one

Has nicknames for everyone

Circus Baby - Ringleader

Ballora - Bells

Funtime Freddy - Partner

Bon Bon - Bun

Peril (WOF)

I like both Nonbinary She/They Peril and Mtf She/Her Peril

They're both such good concepts

She's a lesbian, Harold

She only had a crush on Clay bc he was pretty much everything she was supposed to like in a guy

Gimme a moment while I force all my mental disorders onto this poor child

Autistic, Anxiety (Social anxiety, mainly, but she has most types), Adhd, PTSD

I'd like to reiterate yet again that She's a lesbian

Sunny and Glory were her gay awakening

Peril in Book 1: Damn, Sunny and Glory sure are pretty. Anyone would be lucky to date them. Clay would probably go for them over me. He would be stupid if he didn't. I myself would willingly date them over someone like me. They're just so pretty :(

Peril waking up in a cold sweat in the middle of arc 2: WAIT-

Rarepair alert but Peril/Sora

Peril meeting Sora: "Hmmm She's attractive. I would love to date her. Too bad I'm straight and in love with her brother lmao :P"

Peril, a mere month later, waiting for Ruby to leave Jade Mountain, pacing in her cave, running face first into a wall: WAIT-

I remember reading this one amazing story where Sora taught Peril to read/write and Peril found out she set off the bomb and comforted her/convinced her her run so that's canon now

Btw if anyone can remember what that story was called/what platform it was on and could tell me I'd appreciate it very much

I'd even be willing to draw a character of your's or make you an icon or something

I usually don't accept requests bc I get burnt out easy but this is a special case

She runs into Sora again sometime between the beginning of TOP and the end

I like to imagine she just goes wandering around

Anyway she confesses like a mere few minutes after running into her again bc Peril is just subtle like that

The actual confession takes 15 minutes and the entire time Sora is just sitting here like "👁👄👁 sure"

Bam Peril/Sora

Peril plans to keep it a secret for a little while longer but she spends 3 seconds around Clay and pretty much blurts it out

Clay, who wasn't even aware that Peril was a lesbian, is just "👁👄👁"

I wanna say Clay doesn't know what a lesbian is but in my canon Sunny is a lesbian so Starflight has already told him

Anyway he's super supportive

From that point Peril is sorta open about her sexuality?

Like, she gives Clay permission to tell the rest of the D.O.D bc she isn't about to risk being in front of them when they hear the news

(When Sunny starts actively seeking her out as a hang out buddy and Tsunami, Glory, and Starflight appear to tolerate her presence just a bit more afterwards she pretends she isn't confused by the change)

She's pink, white, and blue bc I said so

If you look at a certain angle in the right lighting her eyes, mouth, fire, and under her scales all look purple

But her fire is normally white and blue bc I said so

Also she pale as fuck bc in my canon their fire just sorta burns their colour away

You know how you leave something outside for too long and it gets sunbleached? Where it gets all washed out?

Like that but more extreme

By the age of 10-12 firescale dragons are just white with pale eyes

That's right not even the eyes are safe

Ram horns :P

I'm also fond of Peril/Sunny

Or maybe Peril/Sora/Sunny

But Peril/Sora is the main thing

On the topic of that bringing in my hc that if one sib in a sib group is fire resistant all of them are

She,,, She can change her scale colour

But only slightly and only if her emotions are strong enough

Bc I don't give a fuck about Darkstalker's scroll we were robbed of hybrid Peril

Unfortunately all of Peril's emotions are strong

Rainwing ruff along her head and neck

It's like a hood

It's mainly smoothed to her sides but when she's startled it flares out

RAINWING PUPILS

Y'all will know what those look like as soon as I get off my ass :P

She,,, She can mimic bird cries

Hates the summer

She has more than enough body heat already and the outside is just hot enough to add on and make her feel sick

She can somewhat control her heat but most of the time it's based on her emotions

It can go from standing-in-the-middle-of-a-burning-building-cant-see-your-nose-smoke-is-so-thick heat (Strong emotion) to Hey-thats-a-nice-cozy-campfire heat (Calm/"weak" emotion/Sleeping)

I'm just gonna make a different post with all my Peril hcs cuz there isnt enough room for all of them here

#Danganronpa #danganronpa trigger happy havoc #trigger happy havoc #danganronpa goodbye despair #goodbye despair #danganronpa v3 #five nights at freddy's #fnaf #fnaf sister location #wings of fire #she ra #bnha #my hero academia #headcanon #korekiyo shinguji #amaguji #himiko yumeno #shinsou hitoshi #kyoko kirigiri #Celesnaegiri #Celesgiri #mha tsuyu #ochatsuyu #ibuki mioda #entrapta spop #celeste ludenberg #peril wof #Sora wof #Sora/Peril wof

[liskantope]

Some briefer(?) reactions to major Disney films 1989-1998

I consider the Disney Renaissance (around the period I refer to in the above title) to have been the last official leg of my chronological journey through major Disney features through Disney+ (for this one I need to mention that I’m excluding CGI animated ones on this journey, except when I feel like watching them on the side). I logged some thoughts on the films I watched in the two earlier legs of the journey here and here, where honestly I intended my notes to be short and not turn into full-blown mini-essays for each movie. Those posts turned out to be major timesucks and I can’t afford that now, but I thought I’d jot down a hodgepodge of reactions and just be briefer and sloppier about it. I feel like I have overall less to say about this set of films anyway, since they’re pretty much all very high-quality and are talked about extensively in the cultural discourse much more than films from Disney’s earlier eras.

As I was still trying to stick to taking one day for each year in the Disney Studios timeline and major film production by Disney picked up pace a lot at the start of this era, I wound up doing a rather intense marathon of one full Disney movie each evening: over ten evenings (corresponding to the years 1989 through 1998), I watched the ten movies The Little Mermaid, The Rescuers Down Under, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, The Nightmare Before Christmas, The Lion King, Pocahontas, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Hercules, and Mulan. I would have watched Tarzan the following evening, but I had very recently sort of re-seen it when it came on Netflix -- I didn’t see it for the first time until an outdoor event near the end of grad school not that many years ago; I didn’t bother paying full attention on seeing it the second time a couple of months ago and couldn’t much get into it on the second viewing.

The thing about the ten major animated Disney movies on this list is that, while I can’t say I love all of them, the uptick in quality is dramatic right from the start and never wavers. Every single one of these films just seems objectively better than Pete’s Dragon, The Fox and the Hound, or Oliver and Company. This will help me be a little shorter-written when talking about them, as it’s easier to expand on specific criticisms than to wax on about how great something is.

[EDIT: Okay, these still turned out pretty long and more on the polished side. Guess I’m just not that capable of being brief and sloppy.]

The Little Mermaid, 1989

Although we didn’t have the video at my house growing up, I somehow knew The Little Mermaid quite well; I guess I watched it quite a few times. I went a gap of many years before seeing it again in college (I’m fairly certain that my college girlfriend and I watched it together, in fact). My reaction at the time was that although it was well enough done with good music, the story was terrible. This was right around the time I watched a performance of Once on This Island, a musical based on Hans Christian Anderson’s “The Little Mermaid” on which, of course, the Disney movie was based. I thought the tragic tale told in Once on This Island was beautiful and scorned The Little Mermaid for cheapening it. In fact, my opinion was quite scathing in the way that my opinions more often were when I was younger. So I was a little wary on watching it again.

I’ve mellowed out since my college days and don’t hate the story quite as much now -- in particular, I can’t really blame Disney for Disnifying a mature tragedy into a more lighthearted tale with a happy ending -- but I still think it’s kind of bad. We’re back to Disney princesses (I think for the first time since my first round of Disney films?), this time with a Disney princess who had goals that didn’t involve meeting her prince, until she actually meets him and every other interest, including staying in the world she grew up with where to which all the people who ever loved her or knew her are confined, giving up her voice, and drastically changing her physical form. And this is all for a prince character of flatly generic personality who is superficial and dim-witted enough that he only knows his true love by her voice. (I don’t understand why this isn’t the Disney Renaissance-era film that routinely gets criticized for being anti-feminist rather than... a certain other one also on this list.) Also, while King Triton isn’t by any means a flat character, his sudden turnaround at the end and almost lightheartedness at saying goodbye to his daughter presumably forever doesn’t quite feel right.

I was very surprised at how much I’d completely forgotten among plot events and certain scenes in the movie. For instance, as the action neared the climax, I really had no memory of how Ursula would be defeated and watching it didn’t jog my memory.

This is the first of several films on this list where I noticed a sample of what I’m starting to think of a set of 90′s sitcom/romcom tropes, in this case the situation of the romantic leads courting very publicly with all the other characters watching and cheering it on and working behind the scenes to help it happen. This shows up again in Beauty and the Beast and (to a slight degree) Aladdin below.

Great music of course, even slightly better than what I remembered. Fun fact: you know that “Part of Your World” song, almost certainly the most widely popular in the film, the one that musical theater kids at my (and maybe your) middle school always used for auditions? Apparently it was almost cut from the film, mainly because it was shown to a test audience of little kids who all fidgeted and got visibly distracted.

The Rescuers Down Under, 1990

I don’t have too much to say about this one, the first Disney sequel ever. I had only ever seen the first Rescuers before and, as my previous set of reviews indicates, didn’t particularly like it, but came in to this one a little more optimistic since some consider it better than its predecessor. They aren’t wrong -- this movie was similar to The Rescuers but better, I think. Although the villain was just as forgettable, the setting was far more enticing (at least to someone like me who has never been to Australia and thinks of it as exotic), and the dynamic between the main mouse characters was more engaging. Here we have another subplot that somehow reminds me of a 90′s-ish sitcom/romcom, with the aborted marriage proposals and a love triangle -- not that love triangles hadn’t featured in movies for decades, but something about how this one was done felt distinctly more modern.

Beauty and the Beast, 1991

Ah, this is not only one of the Disney movies I saw the most as a kid but one which has only grown on me as I’ve gotten older -- I consider it one of the most groundbreakingly beautiful of the animated classics ever made, one of my very favorite Disney productions of all time. We got the video when I was only five or so; I remember distinctly that it came out on home video (right after coming out in theaters) right around the same time that 101 Dalmatians came out on home video and that my mom explained to me that she was choosing to buy Beauty and the Beast instead because of its superior music. She was right about this -- not that 101 Dalmatians has bad music, but it’s hard to measure up to Alan Mencken’s masterful compositions for Beauty and the Beast. For me it solidly ranks in the top three Disney movie soundtracks ever, one of the others being that of Mary Poppins and the third being from an easily-predictable film later on this list.

I’m pretty sure I remember watching portions of this movie every morning for weeks before leaving for kindergarten (this is what makes me think we got it when I was five), and I continued to enjoy it throughout childhood. I next watched it when I was much older, but I can’t remember exactly when. During college I got hold of the soundtrack of the musical, which since has been one of my favorite musical soundtracks to listen to. I never actually got to see the musical until last December when it was showing in my hometown, and I thought it was excellent. Interestingly, there were a number of scenes that I assumed had been added for the musical but I had actually forgotten were in the movie -- unlike with certain Disney musical films *ahemMaryPoppinsahem*, they didn’t take many liberties with the musical except to add a number of new (very good) songs.

Leaving aside the top-notch music and exquisite animation, the story in my opinion is one of the most beautiful and distinctively memorable stories Disney has ever told, not to mention entertaining without every being silly or over-the-top. It speaks of compassion, drawing out core goodness from an ugly exterior, and the fact that, to quote the enchantress from the start of the tale, “beauty comes from within”. Belle is also, to my mind, the most feminist Disney protagonist ever to be seen up to that time, which is why I get super super annoyed that so many people point to this movie loftily shouting “Stockholm Syndrome!” I feel it’s kind of inevitable that I quickly address that here, even though I’ve brought it up on this blog several times before. (Also, for an excellent takedown of the “Beauty and the Beast is a sexist story because Belle has Stockholm’s Syndrome” take, see this video essay of Lindsay Ellis.)

When watching the musical last winter I kept an eye out for justification for the Stockholm’s Syndrome take that I might not have remembered and couldn’t find any, but it pains me to admit that I did find a smidgen of justification, for someone determined to be a bit uncharitable, in a particular bit of dialog from the movie. I don’t recall it appearing with quite that wording in the musical, although it’s entirely possible that the musical has those exact same lines and I just wasn’t being observant. Here it is:

BELLE: What did you say?

BEAST: I release you. You’re no longer my prisoner.

BELLE: You mean... I’m free?

BEAST: Yes.

BELLE: Oh, thank you. Hold on, Papa. I’m on my way. [tries to hand mirror to BEAST]

BEAST: Take it with you. So you’ll always have a way to look back... and remember me.

BELLE: [in sweet, deeply moved tone] Thank you for understanding how much he needs me.

So okay, maybe Belle comes off as showing just a bit too much unqualified gratitude here, an oversight that the writers circa 1990 clearly should have avoided in case diagnosing female characters with Stockholm’s should ever become trendy twenty-something years later. But this could be remedied by a quick rewrite of the dialog in that one scene; it’s not as though the whole plot has to be changed away from its inherently misogynistic nature.

And that’s all I want to say on that one aspect of this absolute gem of a Disney production. Despite a few minor issues I noticed, such as Maurice being a little too innocent and helpless, and it lacking my very favorite line from the musical (“Belle don’t you recognize the beast within the man who’s now before you?” at the end), Beauty and the Beast comes about as close to perfection as it gets.

Aladdin, 1992

Although I didn’t see this major blockbuster hit when it first came out -- it was probably considered a bit too intense for me at kindergarten age -- this is the first time that I was aware on some level that a particular Disney movie was a new release. (One of my few sharp memories of kindergarten recess was a boy standing on a stump or low piece of playground equipment making proclamations to passersby for minutes at a time that alternated between, “You are a street rat!”, “You were born a street rat!”, and “You will die a street rat!”, and how this made me consciously contemplate the concept of present/past/future tenses for the first time.) When I saw it, I loved it -- it was clearly the most exciting animated movie out there. At some point in childhood I thought it was bested by its sequel, but a few years later as a teenager I decided that the tightly resonant plot of the original Aladdin made it the best Disney movie ever. I’ve definitely mellowed out my opinion on this, as Aladdin certainly has flaws and some other features are more deeply meaningful to me as an adult, but I still hold up Aladdin as one of the greats. I saw at least parts of it as an adult on TV and saw it very recently prior to getting Disney+ when it appeared briefly on Netflix, but I was perfectly happy to rewatch it yet again on Disney+ the evening after watching its predecessor as Aladdin is fun and entertaining every time.

In this animated production we have finally topped The Great Mouse Detective in terms of animated action. We have topped most movies that ever came out prior in terms of a manically funny yet also soulful character in Robin Williams’ role as the genie. The story is excellent, apart from having only one female character, and my being bothered just a little by the slough of magic tricks dominating the action towards the end -- I tend to prefer universes where magic requires scholarly study and careful training (e.g. The Black Cauldron) rather than “genie points his finger at you and now you have the ability to point your own finger and make anything happen that pops into your head”. The sultan continues the trend of old man characters who are portrayed as helpless and infantile -- in this case, even more intensely, since the sultan has none of Maurice’s brilliant smarts. But I’m mostly nitpicking here -- Aladdin is well deserving of its high status in the history of Disney.

The Nightmare Before Christmas, 1993

I was very glad to finally get a chance to see this movie, because I clearly remember knowing about it from the time it was being advertised back in 1993, and I heard about it during my entire childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood. Although it seemed that most of my friends had seen it growing up, it didn’t look much like my conception at the time of a “normal movie” or even normal content, and so I don’t recall ever asking to watch it. But my recent-day self recognized that it’s quite a classic and was curious to see it.

I don’t regard The Nightmare Before Christmas as one of the really great Disney productions, but I strongly admire how original it was (particularly for its time) in every single aspect, including use of claymation, overall aesthetic, intriguing characters, and story. It was also fun to see what seems to be the only Disney musical that is done in the style of opera, that is, where the entire story is told in songs without any extended non-musical dialogs. And the songs are quite good in their own way, too. I don’t particularly want to see the film again, but I might not mind getting a soundtrack of it.

The Lion King, 1994

This is the first Disney movie -- and I believe the first movie of any kind, in fact -- that I went to see in the theater. I remember it as a powerful and sometimes overwhelming experience, but as a movie I overall liked even as young as I was. This is remarkable especially considering that much of the story feels more adult in nature than almost any other Disney animated feature.

What can I even say about this one? I think the general reaction to watching it is almost unanimously shared. My impression is that what its creators were going for, more than anything else, was epicness, and they succeeded in a way that had never been done through animation before. Apparently the entire (incredibly epic) opening number was shown as the trailer -- a questionable move, but understandably it got people very excited about The Lion King’s release.

One of many particular things that makes The Lion King stand out is the profound darkness of its main villain, perhaps the most chilling that has ever appeared in Disney. An argument can be made that not only murdering a major protagonist halfway through the movie but convincing the child that he’s to blame is the most evil act we’ve ever seen from a Disney villain. I’ve seen it pointed out that it’s vaguely ableist to give the villain an ugly scar and even make it his name. Some have suggested that they should have made the villain the handsome and strong one and given the scar to one of the heroes -- Simba or Mufasa -- instead. I’m definitely sympathetic to this point of view, and I totally agree that Scar shouldn’t actually have been someone’s name. However, without getting bogged down into something that could be a lengthy post all on its own, I strongly feel that in a way it adds to the depth of our villain’s depravity through the backstory that it implies. And by the way, his ending is probably my favorite out of the fates of all Disney villains.

The music also follows the film’s ethos of being as epic as possible (well, with the exception of a couple of the songs, but they were still fine songs). “The Circle of Life” and the instrumental music propel The Lion King’s soundtrack to possibly the very best in all of Disney.

To be sure, this movie does have more flaws than I remembered. As I said, Scar is a terrible name to give any of the characters, especially in a story where everyone else’s name comes from Swahili. Pumbaa is basically just one big fart joke. (Although, I give the writers major credit for managing to switch the tone to accommodate fart jokes within like five minutes of Scar confronting Simba over Mufasa’s death.) The video essayist Big Joel has pointed out interesting things about the story and made some rather troubling points about it, although to me that almost just makes the film deeper and more thought-provoking rather than actually worse (I see the Chronicles of Narnia this way). But overall, The Lion King has well earned its high rank on the list of highest grossing films of all time.

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At this point in Disney’s history and my childhood, apparently I decided that I didn’t care to see new Disney films coming out because I was content with watching my old favorites over and over, and anyway I was getting older and discovering that non-Disney movies could be quite entertaining as well. Therefore, I didn’t see any of these last four until adulthood, even though they all came out when I was still a kid.

Pocahontas, 1995

I was glad for the chance to finally see Pocahontas for the first time, unfortunately not before hearing countless references to it as being Problematic while I would have preferred to go into it completely uninfluenced by popular opinion. I had actually seen songs from it and Disney books of it as a child and it didn’t interest me at all. On finally watching the film, I found that I got what I expected on both counts: it wasn’t  terribly interesting or gripping, and it doesn’t really pass the muster of today’s higher standards of responsible storytelling about colonialism.

All that really sticks out at me looking back (after some delay in writing this post, so that it was over a month ago that I watched this) is that the plot felt a bit atypical in two ways. One, a character, who is neither a protagonist really nor a villain, is killed off around halfway through -- a daring move that The Fox and the Hound chickened out of doing, but I shouldn’t have been all that surprised given that Pocahontas’ very predecessor did this with a protagonist in a much bigger way. And two, the story ends sort of anticlimactically: I can’t help feeling a bit disappointed when a big Disney animated feature doesn’t end with a lot of action, despite realizing that this more peaceful kind of ending being a reasonable alternative is basically the entire point the story wants to make.

The songs are sort of meh, at least by the high standards of Disney movies of this period. Nothing more really to say on this one.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame, 1996

Here is another movie that I had never gotten around to seeing before, despite having been somewhat more interested in it than I ever was in Pocahontas. And this turned out to be the main breakout attraction on this list, as I found it nothing short of spectacular (save, perhaps, the music, which was “only” quite solid, maybe not spectacular).

I would nominate this for the award of most mature movie among all the animated features included in this journey. I would almost say its ideal audience is adults, not children. It showcases an abusive relationship with enough intricate care to be worthy of analysis through abuse discourse on Tumblr. It displays lust and sexuality in a way that I don’t think I’ve never seen anywhere else in Disney animation. Its violence and political undertones are quite dark. It examines religion deeply (which is as far as I know unique in Disney), and the capacity of religion to bring out both the best and the worst impulses in humanity is exposed. Its main villain is one of the more multi-layered ones. It treats physical handicaps and deformities in quite an honest way and subverts expectations with its love plot.

Perhaps the only thing one might reasonably criticize this movie for is the characters of the gargoyles, which are clearly present to lighten the tone a bit so that the film isn’t entirely heavy and austere. But I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised -- I think the gargoyle stuff could have been executed in such a way that may have made the whole film sag, but instead they were done just right: the gargoyles are depicted as being animated only in the mind of Quasimodo. This means in fact that in a way, they actually implicitly add some gravity to his situation. (Consider that in a more typical Disney film there would have been some sort of cheesy sentient animal friend instead whose existence would not have been confined to the protagonist’s imagination.) Here I’m going to choose to ignore the fact that the gargoyles do seem to interfere in the final battle with some explosives, a possible inconsistency which is minor enough to be glossed over.

Anyway, I think before I unsubscribe from Disney+, I might just give this one a second watching.

Hercules, 1997

Although I never saw this one growing up, I did get talked into watching it by my college girlfriend who had been fond of it growing up. I distinctly remember not caring much for it when I saw it with her. My reaction at this later stage of my life is basically the same. There’s something about the animation style that I find subtly grating and distracting. And there’s something about the story itself that feels like way too light and cartoony a take on ancient Greek mythology (although it’s not like the ancient Greeks had a particularly heavy or dark mythology, and what else could I expect from Disney, really?). I guess that stories that are so explicitly centered around a young man’s quest for hero-hood and being godlike just don’t speak to me that well, and I didn’t find any of the characters that appeared to be especially memorable or engaging.

I did like the muses and enjoyed their singing but can’t say I love any of the musical numbers. So, I respect the effort and earnestness and general respect for ancient Greek culture that went into Hercules, but my overall reaction is still meh.

Mulan, 1998

I had only seen this movie once before, during a trip with some grad school friends back some years ago. One of my best friends at the time, who was with us on the trip, highly recommended it as pretty much her favorite Disney movie as she especially liked father-daughter stories. At the time, the film didn’t make a particularly strong impression on me, although I could recognize its quality. Watching it again on Disney+ has given me a deeper respect for it as having quite a good story and characterization, fine animation, and pretty decent music. I like both Mulan and Mushu as characters, and I enjoyed their dynamic.

I guess it’s telling, though, that I don’t really have all that much more to say about it. Maybe I don’t relate closely enough, maybe the movie didn’t imprint itself on me at an early enough time in my life, maybe I don’t engage that well with any plot that involves organized warfare, I don’t know. But I think I can only really like this film on a more dispassionate, intellectual level, rather than feeling touched in any kind of resonant way by it.

I think it’s interesting to note that Mulan is actually pretty rare among Disney protagonists in having two parents who survive through the entire story. And that moreover, despite it being billed as a father-daughter story to me (and I’m not denying that it is somewhere at its core), Mulan never directly interacts with her father except at the beginning and the very end.

Anyway... since watching all of these, I’ve been watching the more recent major films sort of sporadically: The Return of Jafar (a favorite of mine at some point in childhood, but with maturity I can now see why it was direct-to-video), The Emperor’s New Groove (quite good, better than expected), the first half of Home on the Range (about as bad as I expected, hence my quitting halfway through), WALL-E (as good as I remembered from when it came out when I was in college), Enchanted (one of my favorites, not on Disney+ so I got it through... other means), The Princess and the Frog (a real treat, slathered with Louisiana flavor), Tangled (sweet but nothing outstanding), Frozen (one of my favorites from seeing it in the theater; however I had never seen the first ten minutes which makes a major difference!), and Frozen II (which I had been sorry to miss in theaters last winter, a bit of a weird story but not bad and absolutely the most stunning animation I’ve ever seen). And, of course, Belle’s Magical World, the infamous mid-quel to Beauty and the Beast; this was not a major film but I just had to see if it was as legendarily bad as people say and, yes, it was.

I’m very glad to have been able to get a break from Netflix by taking a tour through the main history of Disney -- including many childhood memories, would-be childhood experiences, and more modern things from my adulthood -- thanks to Disney+.

#Disney films #the little mermaid #feminism #sitcoms and romcoms #the rescuers #beauty and the beast #stockholm's syndrome #aladdin #robin williams #the nightmare before christmas #the lion king #ableism #bathroom humor #chronicles of narnia #pocahontas (disney) #hunchback of notre dame (disney) #abuse #hercules (disney) #greek mythology #mulan

[skzmp3]

i feel you so much on the streaming thing. i was following the same account and was checking to buy a package as well but all the rules... like also not to sound like an old but i've been here since 2nd gen and it was so much easier to get an account before. i get it as well about the rules etc but i've seen a lot of stays complain that they weren't allowed to join the line/kakao/discord groups even tho they applied and they don't know why and that made me sorta wary about stay_dep

eyyy 2nd gen kpop fan!! i feel like it’s slightly rare to find any among stays since well there are two whole generations between them. And regarding your second ask - i don’t mind having this discourse on my blog. please do let me know if you’d rather i not post your ask and i’ll delete!

if anything, i’d like this to be a reminder to any younger fans (from someone who’s been around for quite a while) that the fandom culture nowadays is a double edged sword.

streaming and voting is important, i can’t say it isn’t. kpop has become very saturated and figure-based, so i do understand and do want to contribute to making sure stray kids can - to put it in slightly bluntly, survive in the industry. i have 100% faith in their music of course, but if helping streaming and voting can help make it easier for them, then i am more than happy to do so.

but if it’s becoming increasingly more business like to do so, then it becomes a conflict of interests. when does worrying over stray kids' ranks or numbers or their placement on charts become more burdensome than not?

i mean i am super happy we have a fanbase like stay_department because they do help a lot with streaming and voting, and honestly am glad they’re trying their best for stray kids. i just think in the process of gatekeeping and making sure their efforts are for stray kids ONLY, it’s circled around to keeping fans out of the process. as someone who has worked on voting teams before, it’s hard enough to get people to vote or stream. with all the additional stipulations it just becomes harder, and for some fans who may have been interested in joining, it could easily be the tipping point between deciding to join or not.

if i have the time, i might try and put together a more friendly streaming guide on tumblr along with any sources i may have on buying passes without going through any fanbase pass buying.

#i keep forgetting i have followers who see the things i post #this will be my last post about this! i try and keep this blog strictly gifs only #if you'd like to ask me more about this or anything really feel free to private message me! #this is a sideblog and i don't really want to reveal my main so i'd prefer direct messages straight to skzmp3 thanks!! #[email protected]

[xb-squaredx]

B-Squared’s Top 10 Games of 2020

I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that having something to distract me from the genuine horrors unleashed during 2020 was vital to staying alive, and for me that means a lot of video games! I played…a lot of games last year, but I spent a lot of time playing older games, so I didn’t get a chance to check out a lot of high-profile games that launched this year. Still, I do want to shine a light on the games that managed to resonate with me even a little bit, that somehow managed to launch this year. So let’s get to it!

#10 – No Straight Roads

Rarely have I been struck by a single trailer for a game like I was for No Straight Roads. Produced by industry veterans under a new studio, this is a rare game that’s not quite an indie game from a studio full of newbies, but it’s also not produced with the same kind of budget and resources of a Triple-A project. What do we call this? A Double-A game? Single-A? Regardless, I have to give the team at Metronomik some props for delivering a super stylish game in the midst of a very challenging year. No Straight Roads is a rhythm-based action game where two up-and-coming musicians fight to bring back Rock and Roll to the people of Vinyl City. I absolutely adore this game’s presentation, with each major boss being visually unique and having their own feel that compliments the music they bring to battle. There’s some real energy in these animations with character designs that ooze personality, and being a game about music the soundtrack is great! All that being said though, I have to admit I wasn’t a huge fan of the gameplay when all was said and done. It leans way more on the rhythm side of the equation than I was hoping for, and the action felt very shallow. The fixed camera made some phases of some fights a real problem, and the Switch verison, which I played, is plagued with a lot of issues that really brought the game down for me. If the game interests you at all, give it a shot on PC or PS4; I hear those versions are a lot better. Still, I liked the potential I saw in this game and in this studio, so I can only hope they did well enough to continue on. This definitely feels like the kind of passion project that deserves more recognition.

#9 – Streets of Rage 4

OK, so full disclosure: I didn’t grow up with 2D beat-em-ups. I missed out on all of the greats of the genre back in the day. No Final Fight, no River City Ransom, no Double Dragon, and definitely no Streets of Rage. In more recent years I have tried to dip my toe in the genre, as I did in 2019 with River City Girls. However, I came away from that game a bit disappointed by the overall gameplay and wondered if 2D beat-em-ups were for me. Seeing so much praise heaped onto Streets of Rage 4 had me curious, so I knew I had to try it, if only to broaden my experience in the genre. In many ways, this game is the perfect sequel to a franchise that hasn’t seen any signs of new life in years. It retains what made the series beloved with satisfying combat and challenge, but with a modern touch. The overall art style of the game and music work out pretty well, and I found the act of comboing enemies to be really satisfying. It really doesn’t overstay its welcome either, which is very appreciated in an age of endless timesinks. I also struggled a fair bit with the game, even on Normal, and well after some patches that seemed designed for more casual fans like me. Had this game not had online co-op as an option, I don’t know if I could have beaten the final levels. So my time with this game was pretty rough but despite that I can still see this was a game made with care, and if this game DOES do something for you, there’s plenty of reasons to keep playing on higher difficulties, unlocking more characters and even playing online with friends. Let me put it this way; I’m not all that sure I like the genre and I still liked this game, so I think that counts for something!

#8 – The Wonderful 101: Remastered

…this one is kind of cheating, I’ll admit! I had a lot of trouble thinking up ten games that really stood out to me this year, honestly. That said, I’ll definitely use loopholes to plug one of my favorite games from years ago. Seven years ago, PlatinumGames launched The Wonderful 101 on the ill-fated Wii U, where it bombed harder than just about anything on the system. For those that gave the game a shot, however, they were quick to discover a deep, complex, and charming action game that plays like nothing else out there. Controlling a team of 100 heroes at once, players form weapons out of the various Wonderful One’s bodies, smacking around giant robots and aliens far larger than them with the power of teamwork! How could you not love that, right?! Now, years later, PlatinumGames is aiming to become more independent and their first act was launching a Kickstarter as a way to get this game on newer platforms. While we may never know why Nintendo gave Platinum their blessing to release this game on non-Nintendo platforms (being as this is still, as far as I know, a Nintendo-owned IP), I’m just glad more people can have access to one of the most unique action games I’ve ever touched.

To sell it another way, this game combines the overall aesthetic of Viewtiful Joe with the shape-drawing action of Okami but with a bit of Bayonetta flair on the side. Basically, this is the culmination of everything director Hideki Kamiya has ever worked on. The Remastered version fixes some issues present from the game’s original release, and while I do think they could have gone a bit further with some changes, it is likely the best way to play the game for many. All those sections that made heavy use of the Wii U GamePad are a tad awkward though, but that held true even back on the Wii U anyway…d-don’t worry so much about that, though! I’d still recommend this game to anyone looking for the type of over-the-top action that only Platinum (and occasionally Capcom) can provide! So please consider joining the Wonderful Ones and Unite Up!

#7 – Paper Mario: The Origami King

Discourse around the Paper Mario series is…more than a little rough, honestly! Many fans have been quite vocal about not liking the direction the series has been heading with the last few games, but I went into The Origami King with an open mind and ended up really enjoying the game for the most part! What the game lacked in a developed storyline, it made up for with some really strong character moments and memorable setpieces. Bobby and Olivia are among my favorite partners in ANY of the Mario RPGs, easily, and the entirety of the Great Sea section of the game was a really fun adventure. I love the highly-detailed paper-crafted enemies and locales, and the soundtrack really didn’t have to go as hard as it did. While the battles against common enemies didn’t quite click with me, the boss battles throughout the game constantly surprised me with interesting twists on the ring-based combat and are a real highlight for me. I know this game is pretty divisive amongst Paper Mario fans, but I think the franchise has a pretty bright future ahead of it!

#6 – DOOM Eternal

Fair warning here, but I haven’t quite managed to beat DOOM Eternal at the time of writing this, but what I’ve played so far tells me it definitely belongs here. I think Eternal is hands-down the most intense game I’ve played in a long time. It gets my blood pumping as I dash about, shooting and slicing through demons that are extremely eager to rip and tear me to pieces. I don’t play many shooters in general, so I knew I was going to be in for a rough time, but DOOM Eternal brings it to another level right away. In some respects, I don’t quite agree with various aspects of the core game design that makes the game harder than I think it needs to be at times. The scarcity of ammo, and thus the constant need to use the Chainsaw weapon in order to gain more ammo gets tiring, though that somewhat levels off as more weapons are acquired and players learn of more efficient ways to take out the hordes of Hell. The game’s fantastic soundtrack by Mick Gordon definitely elevates the experience, so it is a huge bummer knowing that he and ID Software had a falling out and he won’t be coming back. I really dig the game’s expansive levels and more focus being put on exploring every nook and cranny for secrets, and certain old-school touches like finding extra lives or cheat codes definitely makes the game feel like it was ripped out of a bygone era and given a modern paintjob at times. Doom is eternal, and with it, so is pulse-pounding shooting action!

#5 – Xenoblade Chronicles: Definitive Edition

Compared to the other re-release of an old game on this list, I think this particular title had a lot more time and care put into it…and it also happens to enhance one of my favorite games on Wii as a bonus! Xenoblade Chronicles on Wii was a game that almost passed me by but even years later, I still adored the characters and world it introduced, and I’ve been happy to see what started as game that was almost stuck in Japan eventually grow into a full franchise. I consider the first game to the best in the series, though it was held back by a few issues later games would iron out. Chief among the problems was the visuals, particularly the character models and…wow does ten years make a world of difference. The Definitive Edition does more than just clean up everyone’s faces, it also cleaned up the game’s cluttered UI, made it easier to track quests and materials for said quests, and added some fun optional challenge missions for veterans to tackle. The bow that adorns the top of this package, however, is the epilogue story Future Connected that serves to tie up some loose ends and gives a particular character some great closure. If you love massive worlds to explore, a compelling, at times over-the-top story, and a deep, rewarding combat system, I can’t recommend THIS version of THIS game enough. If you’re going to give the Xenoblade series a try, there’s no better place to start.

#4 – Ghost of Tsushima

When Ghost of Tsushima was first unveiled years ago, I didn’t exactly have a high opinion of it. It seemed like a game that put more emphasis on visuals over gameplay, and I was almost certain it would launch as a PS5 exclusive so why bother getting excited when I probably wasn’t going to be an early adopter of the system? To my great surprise, not only was this game confirmed for PS4, it wound up being one of the prettiest games on the platform and well-optimized to boot, even on my old slim PS4. Playing as lone samurai Jin Sakai, players try to repel the Mongel invasion of Japan, but are forced to adopt less-than-honorable tactics to take on this ruthless enemy. Usually when I play stealth games, I find myself frustrated. I feel weak, or limited, and often the games feel overly harsh. If you get caught once, game over and there’s little salvaging being seen. In Ghost of Tsushima however, there’s a great deal more care put into stealth, and at times I’d argue it’s almost too fun to pass up over the sword play. Very few missions in the game force you to go completely unseen, so stealth just because yet another tool rather than a limitation imposed on you.

Swordplay felt a bit less engaging against common enemies (typically just being Simon Says, switching to the appropriate stance for a given enemy), but the one-on-one duels throughout the game were fantastic and I almost wish the game was all about them instead. I can’t overstate how gorgeous this game is either, with a world that feels like it is breathing, as the wind whips through the tall grass, the moon penetrates fog overtaking a creepy forest, or seeing the smoke from an enemy camp wafting over the distance. Hands-down one of the best-looking games on the PS4, and I’m particularly happy that developer Sucker Punch managed to land a hit with a new IP, as those generally feel more risky as times go on. While I’d argue that Ghost of Tsushima doesn’t really redefine how open-world games should be designed, it is an extremely polished experience and manages to do it well, with plenty of opportunities to grow in a potential sequel.

#3 – Animal Crossing: New Horizons

If there’s any one game that people absolutely needed in 2020, it was Animal Crossing: New Horizons. While there are other games of this type, like Stardew Valley or the Harvest Moon (and later, Story of Seasons games), Animal Crossing is one of the few games that gets mainstream attention while simultaneously running counter to most mainstream gaming trends. No conflict, no combat, no overarching story really…just a game that lets you live your live, day by day on your own terms. I tried getting into the series before with New Leaf but just didn’t stick with it, but New Horizons launched at the perfect time in an imperfect world. Being able to escape the uncertainty and dread that enveloped the world as the pandemic spread for even a little while was a necessity, and thankfully New Horizons had plenty to do to keep idle hands busy. Changes like item crafting and eventually limited terraforming of your island paradise give players so much more agency in decorating their homes and building up something they can be proud of.

We all start as nothing but a small tent on a mostly-empty island, but seeing what people were able to do even in the first few weeks or so was nothing short of amazing. We need more unflinchingly wholesome games in the world, and I’m thankful for Animal Crossing for being there when we needed it, and considering how well it sold and how much post-launch content is expected to be added with time, it remains a sanctuary to return to even now. Just…please let us craft in bulk? Pretty please, Nintendo?

#2 – Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity

Last year, Nintendo released Astral Chain, a game that no one knew about before release, which was revealed and released with very little gaps between them. It was a game I didn’t know I wanted until it was presented to me, and that trend continues this year with Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity. The first Hyrule Warriors was a fun, surprising spin-off of the main Legend of Zelda series, and Breath of the Wild was a fantastic game that shook up the core of the Zelda franchise, so in hindsight it really does seem like a no-brainer to combine the two into one package. Age of Calamity, for my tastes at least, cuts down on the repetition and overall stressful atmosphere of the first Hyrule Warriors and instead focused on fleshing out it’s core combat and crafting more creative main storyline missions. It helps that the game reimagines iconic locales from Breath of the Wild from before their destruction, and really makes you feel like you’re fighting through actual places rather than just a collection of random keeps that most Warriors games use.

Bringing in aspects like the Sheikiah Slate and Elemental Rods allows players to control the flow of combat more directly on top of letting them be more creative. Freeze enemies standing over water with the Cryonis rune or burn some grass with the Fire Rod to distract certain enemies, among many other things. Each playable character is also very distinct, even in cases where I could have forgiven the developers for reusing some attacks or traits. For one, Link has different movesets for his Sword and Shield, Spear, and Two-Handed weapons, but none of his attack overlap with the other Champions who use similar weapons. Some people might be put off with certain aspects of this game’s story and ultimately not everyone likes the overall structure of the Warriors spinoffs anyway, but for my part, Age of Calamity was one of the best surprises of the year, unveiled right at the end of the year in the nick of time. Of course, there was one game this year that surprised me more than any other.

#1 – Hades

I’ve known of Supergiant Games for quite a while and very recently began looking through their catalogue of games. They’re known for well-crafted narratives and satisfying combat, and yet when I first saw Hades when it was released in Early Access I was tepid on it. It didn’t look bad or anything, but it didn’t exactly blow me away and even now, I think a random screenshot or quick clip of the game might not do the game justice in explaining the appeal. I already wrote about the game at-length (as my only real non-retrospective blog post of the year, oops!), which you can read here if you want more in-depth praise, but to summarize…Hades is the total package for me.

Playing as Prince Zagreus your end-goal is to escape the puts of Hell, and more specifically get away from your overbearing father, Hades. It’s a rogue-lite, meaning you’re expected to finish the game in one shot and if you die you lose any upgrades you picked up along the way and have to start from scratch…to a point. Hades does allow you to keep a fair amount of items you pick up which can towards small, permanent upgrades or even gifts for various NPCs that can deepen your bond with them. Unlike most other games of this type too, the story constantly moves forward, even after death. The game is about dying over and over and then dusting yourself off to try again, all the while other characters remark on your progress or lack thereof. I grew to really enjoy this cast of characters, a fun spin on the Greek pantheon, paired with excellent voice acting for the entire cast. From the imposing, if somewhat sultry Megaera, to the nervous wreck that is the maid, Dusa, to the pompous ass Theseus, I looked forward to each new run just to learn more about this world and those within it. For once, death wasn’t really a punishment, but a reward, and just part of the process.

Of course, incredibly satisfying combat is ALSO part of the process and it just gets…addicting; muttering “one more run” over and over as you try out different weapons and boons, discovering what works well together and what doesn’t. While at first beating the game felt like it would never happen, I grew from my failures, adapted and eventually overcame. Multiple times. If you want the “full” Hades experience, this game can really demand a lot of time out of you but at the same time it stays fresh, so I can’t really complain. With new gameplay mechanics unlocking as time goes on, to the Pacts of Punishment players can trigger if they want a bit more challenge (or a lot more), Hades is that rare game that just keeps giving and giving. Before I knew it, I had dumped well over 50 hours into it, and I STILL need to get back to the game if I want that epilogue.

Compared to every other game that came out this year, Hades is the one game that grabbed me from moment one and would not let go until I hit credits. When I wasn’t playing this game, I was counting down the minutes until I could play it again, and let me tell you that is rare for me these days. At this point, Hades is clearly the breakthrough hit for Supergiant and I couldn’t be happier. The fact that this game got to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with industry titans at The Game Awards is kind of surreal, but I can’t think of many who deserve that recognition more. It helps that Supergiant is a studio that actually takes care of its employees, which is way rarer than it should be. I don’t mean to hype this game up like it’s the cure for COVID or anything, but I mean it with all my heart that this was the best game I played this year, and I’d recommend it in a heartbeat. I couldn’t stop talking about it for months after playing it, just ask my friends! So yeah, it’s pretty OK I guess.

CONCLUSION

I’m sure my Top 10 List looks a lot different from most out there, but that’s what’s great about games! So much variety and so much quality no matter where you look! Every year, without fail, there’s always at least a small handful of games that come out that I don’t get to, and try as I might I’ll never trim that backlog down. I want to keep playing games for as long as I can, trying out so many different experiences and seeing what this wonderful pastime can offer. For a good chunk of 2020 I was more than a little down, not just because of…you know, but a lot of games that were coming out weren’t appealing to me. That said, seeing as this was the year of shadow drops and announcing things at the last minute, I ended up loving a bunch of games I hadn’t already spend months hyping myself up for, which definitely helped to lift me up this year. Already, 2021 has a lot of titles I’m anticipating though, so it’s sure to be an exciting year.

Happy Gaming.

-B

#top ten list #gaming #animal crossing #paper mario #xenoblade chronicles #ghost of tsushima #doom eternal #no straight roads #hades #streets of rage 4 #thewonderful101 #age of calamity

[imaginesforallkindoflove]

Art trade with @kittyandco !!! I hope you will like it :3

To come back here, and having his honour tarnished by the fiasco that was Arendelle wasn't enough: of course his brothers had to make him attend a ball for God's sake. After all he was still a prince, even if he had to work with filthy commoners and prisoners for some months, excluded from everyone. His mother made a long discourse in front of their people, stating she will forgive her son, because it was only a little mistake. "Everybody wants to rule the world" as she explained, sometimes glancing at her younger son, he could feel her shame and hate through her gaze. Apparently, everything was forgiven and even forgotten and it was just a thorn in Hans's life. The only reason he was staying in this damn ball was for her. 

He sighed, almost nervously and tried to collect his memories from the last time he saw her. He was telling her he was leaving for the kingdom of Arendelle, and that she shouldn't be worried about him. She seemed sad and distressed at first, she seemed to worry even more when he told her not to. But she was so sweet and kind; he didn't want to be a thorn on her side. He gulped, realising she must have heard of his bad deeds. 

It made him sweat even more. What was she thinking of him now? He was no longer a young, smart, kind and handsome prince, he had nearly committed two regicides and was sent home with a broken nose thanks to Princess Anna. She will never forgive him for this. She must be boiling with anger, knowing that he was flirting and spending some romantic moments with the young princess. He even sang with her! He was ashamed by his behaviour and hoped that she will forgive him.

He was outside on the balcony, she didn't make an appearance yet. Maybe she won't come? Maybe she must be so enraged and hateful, she had every right after all. 

While he was away, she arrived. Strutting in her beautiful outfit, trying to find the love of her life. She was looking everywhere for him, asking some guests about the youngest prince. Some of them didn't even bother to reply because of course he is the failed one. Why would a young and amazing young woman like her wanted to see that failure? 

Finally, she worked the courage to ask his brothers, who informed her with a sly smile that their brother was outside, probably crying like the weakling he was. She desperately wanted to snap at them for mocking him that way but her desire to see Hans was biggest than to humiliate those little snotty princes.

So, she turned around and saw a silhouette behind the double glassed doors. No one was outside because of the chilly weather but she didn't care. She looked behind her shoulder and saw her family talking to other guests, not questioning her or even looking at her. She sighed and decided to cut through the chase as she approached the door to the balcony.

He was lost in his thoughts once again, thinking about how he could have saved himself from this failure. His eldest brother Frederick humiliated him well when he arrived: throwing him to do some incorrect chores amongst the horses but at least he loved horses. Then, Hans heard the double doors being opened and closed. He closed his eyes, sighing a little. The prince didn't even turn around. 

"What do you want, brother? Humiliating me again?" 

"It's not your brother Hans." 

Her voice. Her sweet lovable voice. He whirled around and his breath was stuck in his lungs. She looked wonderful and beautiful that night; she was wearing a large pink and white gown, with tulle on her sleeves and on her collar until her chest and golden lace and embroidery on the skirt. Her hair was done neatly, with a golden flower crown. She didn't look angry, and he was relieved by that. 

"My dear one…" He whispered as he approached her, taking her gloved hand and kissing her knuckles softly while kneeling down. "How I missed you…" 

She observed him with sweet brown eyes, a small smile on the corner of her lips. He almost wanted to kiss the tip of her skirt's dress for forgiveness. His eyes were locked on hers, he was waiting for her to lash at him. 

"I was frightened that you would leave me for that princess…" She murmured. 

"I would have made you my queen." 

"I was also scared when I couldn't find you in the palace. Your mother… She was so harsh about you." 

He stood up again, slightly taller than her. His eyes stared deep into hers again and he felt himself lost in it. She was his paradise, his light. He took her by the arm softly, guiding her toward the stairs to go walk around the beautiful garden. She was swift to lean on him and he realised how much he missed her touch and presence. Oddly, the matter of the affair in Arendelle and her not reacting about it made him a little bit anxious and he wondered if she was just going to stab him in the back. After all, it was the favourite technique of his siblings and his parents. 

"What did Mother say?" He asked curiously.

"She said you were a disappointment and that she was certain you will never access the throne." 

He sighed, it wasn't nothing new. He thought with going to Arendelle to take the throne would suffice for his mother to respect him. But since it had turn to water… 

"Kitty…" He murmured as he sat down on a bench near the fountain. 

"Yes Hans?" She breathed out.

"I hope you believe me when I say this: I never loved Anna. My heart has only one place and it is for you. You're the queen of my heart." 

The young woman smiled and placed a kiss on his cheek. He closed his eyes, savouring her touch. He truly missed her. He hadn't been able to send letters when he was in the other kingdom. He was glad she was not angry at him. 

He stood up, taking her with him. They could hear the music from the inside, booming in the garden softly. There was no one because it was a little chilly. He took her hand and waist in a soft manner and they both started to swing around, dancing a little waltz. She laughed heartily, and smiled at him all the time. 

When the music stopped, they stopped too and with a little giggle, they both ran into the small wood surrounding the royal castle. She was quicker than him, sometimes turning around. It reminded both of them of the time where they were both children, here for playdates. 

Two against the world since they were younger. 

They went deep inside the wood, recognizing the small path which led to a wooden carousel. He remembered how they used to climb on the beautiful painted horses, pretending to ride free or when they played war games! Of course now, the paint was gone from the horses and everything was rotten but he bet it was not dangerous. 

She sat at the bottom of the small staircase, observing the sea and the ships in front of her. He did the same and sat besides her. A comfortable and warm silence established between the two and Kitty leant her head into his shoulder, and Hans put his hand on hers, careful to not impale himself with her small crown. 

"I miss the time where we were kids." The dark haired woman revealed. "Everything was so easier." 

"I agree." Hans replied simply, taking her hand in his.

"No one to get in our way, just running around, pretending to be knights or soldiers or… free people." 

"We still can do that! Let's get some horses tomorrow and let's ride!" 

"Oh Hans…" She sighed, clearly bothered by something. "When I heard about yours and Anna whereabouts… I was so scared you would leave me for her. I know it was all part of your plan to get the throne but… I was so afraid you would catch feelings for that princess and that you would forget me." 

"I would never!" He exclaimed almost shocked she would believe that. "Never would I forget you!" 

"I know but…" She watched as he moved to kneel in front of her. "It is what I believed, I know it wasn't rational. But usually when someone leaves that place, they marry another person and they don't come back here." 

He kissed her hand and he brought it to his cheek, appreciating the warmth and the soft fabric of her glove. 

"I love you Kitty." 

"I love you too Hans." 

#n speaks

[sim-songs]

“hi, I’m not from the US” ask set

So I wanted to answer all of these, because why not you know? @dreamsongsims now you can learn more about Belgium ;)

It’s under the read more so I don’t clog up your dashboards.

1. favourite place in your country? Honestly my home. I am living in Antwerp right now with the bf and I honestly love it, even though we aren’t really going outside much right now bc of the virus. I do miss the green and the “not city” smell haha

2. do you prefer spending your holidays in your country or travel abroad? I am okay with both. My family always goes on vacations during holidays, the last few years we’ve gone to Thailand for example but I’m more interested in staying closer to home. I LOVE Norway and want to go on holiday there again but it’s expensive.

3. does your country have access to sea? Yes. 67 kilometers of ugly “badsteden” lol (literally means bathing towns). To be honest I like the coast in the Netherlands better because it isn’t as gray and superficial.

4. favourite dish specific for your country? A nice “frietje van de frituur” (french fries), specifically a “frietje speciaal”, that’s french fries with ketchup, mayo and thinly sliced onion.

5. favourite song in your native language? I hate Belgian music, absolutely despise every Dutch song on the radio. But if I have to pick one its Goud from Bazart, it’s an older song by now but it’s one of the few I did not mind listening to.

6. most hated song in your native language? As soon as I read this I immediately thought of Banaan from Jebroer. Just shudders ugh. But really all Dutch songs in this style.

7. three words from your native language that you like the most? I’m gonna paste my earlier answer here: Hmm that's a hard one for me... Gezellig is a word I've always liked bc it doesn't have a real translation, just like cozy or smt. Another one I like is grassprietjes, meaning blades of grass bc it sounds funny and kinda rolls of the tongue and non dutch people will never be able to properly say that! and a third is eenzaam, meaning lonely. I don't really know why I like that one tbh

8. do you get confused with other nationalities? if so, which ones and by whom? I don’t really remember ever being confused for another nationality. I have read that Dutch sounds like German on crack, and that Belgian Dutch is easier than Netherlands Dutch for foreigners.

9. which of your neighbouring countries would you like to visit most/know best? Visit most: France and Germany, I have been to them both already but never for long and a long time ago. Know best: Probably the Netherlands. We share a language after all so we share some cultural things! (Does Temptation Island count as a cultural thing lol?)

10. most enjoyable swear word in your native language? Mmm tough one to answer, because me and my bf are big English speakers so most of our swearing is of the “fuck” variety. I like “godverdomme” (god dammit) and what my dad sometimes says “godverdomme miljaarde nondeju” (there is literally nothing I can do to translate this)

11. favourite native writer/poet? I can’t think of any poets, but I like the writer Valerie Eykmans, specifically the book “Verloren Maandag”

12. what do you think about English translations of your favourite native prose/poem? So I really like “Het Weer” by Hugo Claus, I even have a poster in our living room with the poem in his handwriting.

Weather

How was the weather in the country without you? At first mist fell over the concrete mountains.

Then the sun hung like mist over the mother-of-pearl sand.

Then the sky moved and became clammy as your armpits.

A lightning closed my teeth.

And everywhere the smell rose of the big animals that don't exist

unless in the ringing of your ear, in the rustle of your hair.

That's how it was back there without you. You are the air pressure and the dew and the snow in my skull.

It does not rhyme much in Dutch, it’s more about the rhythm of the words, so as far as the translation goes it’s pretty accurate in it’s contents but the rhythm is definitely off in the translated version

13. does your country (or family) have any specific superstitions or traditions that might seem strange to outsiders? What immediately comes to mind is the whole “Sinterklaas” problem where every year the discourse starts again whether or not the “Zwarte Pieten” are racist. Honestly not gonna comment on that because it’s not my place to feel offended or otherwise about this issue. Another thing that’s a bit more lighthearted is the “jaarmarkt” in our hometown, it’s like a big market that always finds place on the first sunday of the year. There’s a “stoet” (procession) with the walking orchestra, horses, horses and carriages, dogs and a whole load of tractors all going to get blessed at the church where the pastor throws holy water on everyone passing by. I have a love hate relationship with this tradition because it’s always freezing, and the tractors take forever to end. Oh and the main street of our town is completely closed of and there’s a big market with stalls in the street and everyone gets drunk of of the “jenevers” from the Scouts stalls lol.

14. do you enjoy your country’s cinema and/or TV? Not really, the only thing I used to watch was “Helden van Hier: Brandweer” (Heroes from here: fire brigade), it was just following the fire brigade around to fires and what not.

15. a saying, joke, or hermetic meme that only people from your country will get? ah je moe kakken moe je kakken he 😉

16. which stereotype about your country you hate the most and which one you somewhat agree with? Hate: Belgians are small-minded people not interested in anything going on outside of their home. Just not true at all. Sure there are people like that but every country has those. Agree: Belgians are hard to get to know. I hear this one a lot and I can see why people say that.

17. are you interested in your country’s history? Copied from an earlier answer: I am interested in history in general, it was one of my favourite classes in high school. I do like learning about Belgian history, mainly because Belgian history is, in one term, a messy bitch

18. do you speak with a dialect of your native language? Yes, I speak with a “Kempisch” accent, but in general I’m still pretty understandable.

19. do you like your country’s flag and/or emblem? what about the national anthem? I really don’t care about our flag, the Flemish Lion is being overly politicized to exclude the Walons lately and our national anthem is meh, no one can sing it and it’s more of a joke to people my age I think.

20. which sport is The Sport in your country? Soccer (or football idk) and veldrijden (literally field riding, but cyclo-cross as the translation) GO Wout van Aert! (idc abt sports but he’s local to me so)

21. if you could send two things from your country into space, what would they be? I’m not sure if this means you want to get rid of it or if you want to memorialize it? Getting rid of “Manneken Pis” because he’s stupid and memorializing an entire classic “frietkot”

22. what makes you proud about your country? what makes you ashamed? Proud: Our cultural diversity and lately our banding together during the crisis Ashamed: All the racists (looking at you Vlaams Belang)

23. which alcoholic beverage is the favoured one in your country? BEER, ALL THE BEER

24. what other nation is joked about most often in your country? Honestly our own nation is most joked about for good reasons. Flemish joke about the Walons and vice versa, and everyone jokes about the joke that is our government.

25. would you like to come from another place, be born in another country? I’m happy where I’m at now, so no.

26. does your nationality get portrayed in Hollywood/American media? what do you think about the portrayal? I have never seen any prominent representation of Belgian in a Hollywood movie.

27. favourite national celebrity? Probably Tom Waes

28. does your country have a lot of lakes, mountains, rivers? do you have favourites? We dont have much haha, we have rivers, most notably “De Shelde” which runs though Antwerp not too far from my apparment.

29. does your region/city have a beef with another place in your country? Flemish and Walons have always had beef, so yeah.

30. do you have people of different nationalities in your family? I had a phase where I was into genealogy and it’s safe to say I’m one of the most Belgian Belgians out there lol, especially on mothers side her family literally has been living in the same place since the 1600′s and my grandparents had never seen the ocean until my parents took them.

#ask game #non sims #dont mind me i just wanted to answer all of them #anyway if u dont care just scroll past

[enz-fan]

Article by Margo Huxley - early days in Australia, 1975. 

“On stage are what appear to be seven refugees from an op shop run by a lunatic asylum. They wear suits that are too big, too small or both at once. The singer’s hair is a frizz of tangles that falls over his heavily be-rouged face. He moves like a sped up movie of Charlie Chaplin doing an imitation of Harpo Marx - or is it vice versa? He comes on with a patter that sounds like ‘Waiting for Godot’ done by a music hall M.C.

Somewhere in the shadows lurks Groucho, complete with eyebrows and moustache, playing a Gibson electric guitar. Next to him, but only briefly, stands a fellow in a baggy brown suit from the set of the Godfather - he plays bass.

Round-faced and cherubic sits the drummer, almost hidden behind his kit, but visible enough to show that his suit too is certainly somebody’s cast-off.

A resurrected James Dean, white faced and hollow-eyed in a teddy boy suit of brilliant red, the pants of which are far too long and bag around the lower part of his legs, plays acoustic, electric suitar and mandolin.

The maestro of the keyboards - synthesizer, mellotron, string synthesizer and a piano that looks like someone has taken an axe to it, (and though electric, it sounds just like the real thing) - he is resplendent in tails, almost normal except that one sleeve ends at the left elbow and the other is about a foot beyond his right hand.

Then there’s this fellow just standing there, seemingly redundant in an ill-fitting pale blue suit, his head hanging like a broken marionette. Redundant that is, until he breaks forth with a pair of spoons in his hand, playing them against his head, his feet, his knees, anywhere. The rest of the time he plays slightly pixillated triangle, xylophone, bell-tree and tambourine to mention a few. Occasionally he strides up to a microphone, any microphone, to throw in a world or two of vocals.

Suddenly the demented action stops and the whole band stands in cameo stillness for a burst of electronic sound that fills the hall.

“Who are they?” a bloke in the audience asks his mate. “Dunno” the mate replies. “I think they’re Captain Matchbox.”

WRONG! This is Split Enz and as their name implies, they hail from New Zealand. Don’t be fooled. Just because they “dress funny” doesn’t mean they are like Captain Matchbox, skyhooks or - “Anyone who compares us with Roxy Music hasn’t heard Roxy Music” says Timothy Finn, lead singer.

Neither are they like Yes, King Crimson, The Sensational Alex Harvey Band, Beefheart, Zappa, Schonbert, Cage, Al Jolson, Scott Joplin, The Goons, Marcel Marceau, Monty Python or anyone else you like to mention. But comparisons are inevitable.

Comparisons are the direction with which we chart the waters of a new experience. In Split Enz music you fill find everything: classical and neo-classical; music hall honkeytonk and sleazy vaudeville; acoustic and electronic, with a blues and a boogie thrown in here and there; good ol’ rock’n’ roll; and just when you think they’ve done it all they hit you with a piano full of cool jazz, some Gregorian chants or calypso shouts for good measure.

These analogies are only signposts; the more you hear their music, the less you need them, and the more you come to realise that Split Enz create music that is individually theirs. Their lyrics conjure up nightmare visions, obsessions with madness and the macabre, woven out of cliches that spring at you with renewed vigour; phrases such as “time to kill”, “dead to the world” suggest sinister overtomes. Lines like “just hold me down if I have a fit... I think I’ll be all right... I’ll be normal someday”, “the rats are crawling up my back, it can only mean you’re coming back” are delivered with frenetic, demented mime that is more demonic than lunatic.

Some songs perhaps threaten to fall apart at the seams as style, rhythm and reference change and pile upon one another, but for the most part each song, as each performance, is carefully arranged.

“It’s a bloody orchestra.” one innocent bystander is heard to remark. And indeed ‘orchestrated’ is a better word for the music, and ‘choreographed’ a better word for the performance.

The taped Andrews Sisters-type music at the beginning with canned applause and the announcement “... SPLIT ENZ!”, the discourse on “how to get from A to B”, walking on an invisible conveyer belt going nowhere - the whole performance is a carefully planned sequence.

But not stilted, not unspontaneous. There are always new surprises even when, at daytime gigs they dispense with make up and stage clothes and appear as their normal selves. Despite the parodies and satires implied in their music - “Spoofs” is the word Timothy Finn uses - there clings to them an aura of innocence and naivety, like a Henri Rousseau painting.

This impression persists with them off stage. They are quietly spoken and polite. although their normal dress is somewhat - uh - eccentric in these days blue jeans and T-shirts, they are not the formidably intimidating maniacs they become on stage.

Timothy Finn, whose hair is no more manageable off stage than on, does most of the talking. Eddie Rayner of the keyboards is more relaxed, with a fresh-faced charm like the captain of the school cricket.

He joined Split Enz from Space Waltz, a group in which he earned much deserved renown for his wizardry on the ivories and electronic switches.

Jonathon Michael Chunn of the bass guitar has Byronic good looks that even his stage make up cannot hide, and Wally Wilkinson, moustache free from blackening and eyebrows normal is full of witty irrelevancies.

Emlyn Crowther, the man behind the drums, looks as Welsh as his name and smiles a lot. Noel Crombie is the owner of the chattering spoons. He is also the designer and maker of costumes, silent and forlorn looking, like a lost pup. And Philip Judd is reserved, almost disdainful, and stripped of grease paint, looks more like Rudolf Valentino than James Dean – that might be something to do with the scarf knotted at his throat.

Split Enz was formed about 3 years ago, but the present line up has only been together for about 10 months and work remarkably well. Timothy Finn and Philip Judd are responsible for the genesis of the words and music which the whole group then fashion into a final stage presentation.

They don’t like to talk about ‘influences’ – “The Beatles” says Timothy Finn without so much as a bat of an eyelid. And when you think about it anyone who plays music today can’t have escaped the ubiquitous presence of the Beatles. Anyway, Split Enz have admitted to liking the Kinds and the Sensational Alex Harvey Band. You can make what you like of that. It’s not a definitive list.

Their conversation is free of swearing and they don’t smoke, but have been seen to drink a beer or two on the odd occasion. They are naturally “un-hip”. They avoid words like ‘hassle’, ‘dig’, ‘gig’ and anyone in the group who makes such a blunder is gently offered alternatives like ‘bother’, ‘appreciate’, ‘job’.

Confusion occurs about their names – again because of their desire to reject the clichés of the pop world. They decided to take their second Christian names as first names which is why if you ever come across anything written about them in New Zealand, the names won’t tally. Sometimes they themselves forget and call each other by their old names, but the error is always quickly corrected.

However, some of them nationalistically flaunt the great New Zealand ‘eh’ on the end of their sentences. “That’s a great new piano we’ve just bought, eh” – not a question, a statement. But they are dropping the tag “New Zealand’s Top Band” and such like, which, while it is undoubtedly true, is just another cliché to be avoided like the plague (whoops, sorry).

Already their stay of three weeks in Australia has been extended to six in order to record with Festival in Sydney. The album will be produced by their manager Dave Russell and the cover design by ex art student Philip Judd. Out on Mushroom, the album will be a token of Michael Gudinski’s enthusiasm for this band.

They have been deluged with work, after an initially slow start in Sydney. They are the support act for the Leo Sayer Melbourne concert and have done an ABC GTK which was an immediate success. More than 60 phone calls came in after it was shown to ask who the band were – that’s some sort of record.

Up until this Australian tour, the group has always had plenty of time to recuperate from the last job and plan and prepare the next. But they are finding the rigours of touring with jobs every day or so, and sometimes more than one a day, very wearing. Any spare energy left over from the last performance must be channelled into preparing for the one following close on its heels.

Another result of the GTK spot was an approach from an ABC producer to do the sound track for a documentary called “Ten Australians”. In particular they are to back a sequence featuring the artist Sydney Ball at work.

Their plans for the future include a return to New Zealand for a couple of months, followed by a longer sojourn in Australia (amen to that), and depending on reactions to their album they hope to go to England…

Of course such an esoteric band does not have universal appeal, and being unknown in Australia, sight unseen, it’s even harder to win hearts and minds. They have great hopes that the album, plus their shows here and a bit of media exposure will make their return to Australia somewhat easier.

They do not appeal to the younger age groups – “they are no the audience we are really aiming at”. They got a poor reception at the Melbourne Festival Hall Skyhooks concert, where they were first on. The audience didn’t know and didn’t want to. (But I seem to remember once a long time ago, Skyhooks was an “underground” band). But at the Reefer Cabaret, at Unis and the Station Hotel standing ovations are the order of the day.

“There are many ways of saying goodbye:” Timothy Finn lurches into his pitch for the final number – limbs jerking, face twitching at the mercy of some drunken puppeteer; “Goodbye, Byebye, Adieu, See you later, Au revoir…” etc. “…SO LONG FOR NOW”.

Never fear, we have not seen the last of Split Enz. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is A Good Thing.”

#splitenz #1975

[kingdomsolicitude]

sometimes I’m reminded of why I don’t get into fandoms for television lmao

#me #text #tag rant incoming: #listen all fandoms are on thin ice #but tv show fandoms just have so much discourse and negativity it’s exhausting #I just find it so much easier to stay out of music discourse #sometimes I just want to enjoy a thing mindlessly you know?? #anyway this is a weird way of saying I need to figure out what to do with my mm blog because I’m not having any fun with it lately #but I don’t want to involve more tv shows bc some things have to stay sacred (untouched by other peoples’ opinions) in my life #so time will tell but man I’ve never seen so many people love/hate a show so universally #it would be impressive if it weren’t so depressing to me #sure it’s a bad show but so is half of X-Files and I still love that so 🤷🏻‍♀️ #I have low standards for CanCon anyway so I’m unaffected by questionable writing #if it’s a show set in Canada and I like it then it’s good lmao #unfortunately I’m very bad for letting negative opinions ruin things for me #but it took me 6 years to get back into fan spaces after avoiding them like the plague so I’m making an effort to ignore the bad stuff #it’s just hard sometimes when it feels like you’re putting all this work into making content for a thing nobody even seems to like lmao #anyway

[polyadvice]

What are some of Zinnia's opinions?

Hello! I see tons of asks about advise and now I'm actually wondering what are some of your opinions about the whole community? I'd like to know more about the lovely creator of this amazing blog❤️ :)

This reads to me like “please, sir, could I have some discourse?” but I, like most humans, adore being asked for my opinion, especially if it comes with some flattery, so here ya go, some Zinnia Opinions, RIP my inbox:

I think more, if not all, of us should be in therapy! I think working on our own issues and patterns is critical for healthy relationships, whether you’re polyamorous or monogamous. I think we as a culture should be fighting for more accessible mental healthcare, and one of the best things we can do for our people is help them find therapy that is helpful and affordable for them.

I miss the word '‘poly.” I fully understand why we are making a shift to polyam, and I would never put my linguistic comfort over someone else’s very real cultural hurts and needs, but I find “polyam” clunky and it makes me sad that we are facing this namespace collision right now.

I think “ground rules” and “boundaries” are incredibly misunderstood and mis-used in polyamory. I’ve almost never seen “ground rules” work out well - they’re often arbitrary, lead to unnecessary ‘betrayals,’ and let people hide behind them to avoid actually interrogating their true feelings and needs. And people need to realize that “setting a boundary” does not obligate everyone to do what you say or else they’re toxic abusers.

I think we need to do a better job with our language. I’ve written about this before, and I stand by it. I especially think we need to be very careful about words like “abuse” and “trauma,” because they really do mean things beyond ‘made me feel bad.’ I strongly recommend Sarah Schulman’s book Conflict is not Abuse as an in-depth discussion of this and think it belongs on any standard polyam reading list.

I don’t think polyamory is a better, more enlightened or truer way to be in relationship. I disagree with Dan Savage and the Sex At Dawn crowd that all humans are ‘naturally’ non-monogamous and therefore polyamory or monogamy are just personal choices anyone can make freely. Some people are better served by monogamous relationships, and polyam people need to stop evangelizing polyamory as a one-size-fits-all solution to existing problems.

That said, I think monogamy culture is pretty destructive. When practiced with intentionality and as meets the needs of the individuals in the relationship, monogamy can be plenty healthy! But I have seen so much abuse in the name of monogamy, of possessiveness, of jealousy; damage done out of fear of cheating; repression and rejection and violence - we need to better understand and interrogate the social, political, economic, religious, and sexual power structures that drive our assumptions around monogamy.

I wish we had better pride colors and/or full ownership of the infinity heart. I love symbols! I would love to be able to wear my polyam pride on my sleeve, but tons of mono people use the infinity heart to just mean “endless love,” which makes it a pretty diluted symbol, and the pride colors are not great.

I think more polyam families should become foster parents. I think more people should, honestly; but being polyam gives you an advantage in that you have more adults to help out, and most of us have already done a lot of self-work around healthy emotional management and communication styles, which is critical for foster parents. It’s not always easy to get certified as an “unconventional” family, but it is doable, and we should be doing it!

My polyamory is queer. Not all polyamory is queer, but I truly believe that polyamory can be queer, when it is a ‘queering’ of the dominant monogamous culture, a re-understanding of relationships, an individual reclamation and rejection of culturally imposed assumptions, and love as “praxis” that challenges economic, political, and sexual systems of dominance.

Polyam people need to make a lot more space for relationship anarchy in the conversation. Related to my opinion that not all polyamory is queer, but polyamory can be a queering of relationships. It’s sad to me that so many people think polyamory is only about sexual-romantic relationships, and often looks in practice a lot like monogamy culture just with more people, where the sexual-romantic relationships are prioritized in terms of values, commitment, finances, etc. Polyamory can be an invitation to re-understand relationships in a whole new way. Who say that the people we have great sex with have to be the people we live with have to be the people we co-parent with? Let’s make our own way, friends.

I think “best case scenario” daydreaming is an under-utilized tool in polyamorous relationships. Thinking through what you really want, having words for the feelings you want to have, understanding what you want your day to day life to look like - this is so helpful! We should all have a clear picture of where we’re headed, what our goals are, and what our deal-makers and deal-breakers are. I don’t know why so few people are able to really articulate what they want out of their relationships - grab a journal, or a questionnaire, or a boring work meeting, and dig in!

I think people should make my life easier when writing in to this blog. People should check my FAQ, not send me thousand-word letters that don’t include a clear question, and not do these other things. I also think it would be super swell if people contributed to my Patreon!

There we go; some of my most strongly held opinions about polyamory. I have many other opinions, like:

People should stop assigning moral value to food and eating habits and drop the food-negative fear-of-calories nonsense; diet culture is absolute bullshit, and the concern-trolling about fat bodies is cruel, disingenuous, and needs to die.

Caffeine is an addictive drug and we are way too relaxed about young children becoming dependent on it to the detriment of their sleep health.

Being critical or ironic about something does not make you smarter, more mature, or better than someone who earnestly enjoys it.

Genetic connections do not a ‘family’ make, and no one is obligated to stay connected to someone who isn’t healthy for them just because they are ‘related.' And if you are deeply connected to someone whose connection to you isn’t recognized by monogamy-culture - like a kid who isn’t genetically related, or a life partner you aren’t romantic-sexual with, that’s great! Ignore the haters.

Movie theatre popcorn is always better than anything you can make at home, and is always worth the $7 it costs at the theatre. Drinks and candy, you should smuggle in.

If someone isn’t drinking, people should leave that alone and not harass, pester, or tease them about it.

Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off” music video is not cultural appropriation, because she brings in people who are skilled in those dances to perform them well, and the point of the video is that she can’t do what they do and is just being herself alongside performers she is sharing her stage with. Cultural appropriate is a real issue in pop music (and everywhere else) but I think that video is absolutely not an example of it and don’t understand why it’s constantly used as one.

Alcohol is a lot more dangerous and addictive than marijuana and the reasons it’s legal and socially acceptable are racist and classist and are not based in reality.

Tumblr and Instagram should do more (that is, literally anything) to fight pro-eating-disorder content on their platforms.

No one should feed me food with tomatoes in it, ever, ever, ever! (And I don’t want to hear about how I haven’t had a “real, good” tomato - those ones taste worse because they taste more like tomatoes!)

#about the blogger #polyamory #poly #polyam #polyamory advice

[elleberquist6]

Play Upon Me Like This Piano -chapter thirty-one

Summary: In many ways, Phil’s life is perfect: he loves his life in London, he has a wonderful brother and parents, and he has a great job as a radio DJ for BBC Radio One. There’s only one thing missing in his life… A rumor reaches an executive at the BBC about a talented local piano player named Daniel. The executive decides that Daniel would be the perfect guest on Phil’s radio show, so she sends Phil to speak with the evasive and mysterious piano player.

When they finally meet, Phil starts to think that he has found the person who will make his life complete. Unfortunately, Dan has a secret that will make getting close to him difficult.

Rating: Mature

Word Count:3043

Warnings: Smut

—

HAMLET: I do not well understand that. Will you play upon this pipe?

GUILDENSTERN: My lord, I cannot…I know no touch of it, my lord.

HAMLET: It is as easy as lying. Govern these ventages with your fingers and thumb, give it breath with your mouth, and it will discourse most eloquent music. Look you, these are the stops.

GUILDENSTERN: But these cannot I command to any utterance of harmony.  I have not the skill.

HAMLET: Why, look you now, how unworthy a thing you make of me! You would play upon me. You would seem to know my stops. You would pluck out the heart of my mystery. You would sound me from my lowest note to the top of my compass. And there is much music, excellent voice, in this little organ, yet cannot you make it speak? 'Sblood, do you think I am easier to be played on than a pipe? Call me what instrument you will, though you can fret me, yet you cannot play upon me. [Wm. Shakespeare, Hamlet ACT 3 SCENE 2]

As Phil crossed the room and sat on Martyn’s bed, which was a few feet away from where Dan was, he was watching him carefully. Dan smiled but he looked nervous as he clutched the blanket tighter across his chest. Finally, Phil realized something and he gasped, “Oh! That blanket is damp and you’re only wearing pants. You’re probably freezing.”

“A bit,” Dan admitted, and his smile looked more genuine. He tossed the blue blanket to the floor. There was a brief flash of skin that Phil would have enjoyed more if he didn’t see so many goosebumps, and then Dan had gathered the bed’s duvet around himself. He looked much more comfortable, as he assured Phil, “That’s better.”

“Good.” Phil bit his bottom lip and the silence that followed felt heavy. Then Phil decided that this awkwardness was stupid – talking to Dan had always been as easy as breathing – so he just asked, “You said you’re something like a merman… What are you exactly?”

Dan let his breath hiss out from between his teeth. He looked like he was bracing himself, as he said, “I’m a siren.”

The word didn’t mean much to Phil. It conjured up the same image in his mind as the word ‘mermaid’, so he didn’t know how this was any different – he was still having trouble putting this label on the lovely man sitting across from him. Dan was just Dan to him, and who he was as a person was far more important that any label that could be slapped on him. Still, the word might be important to Dan, so Phil was going to do his best to understand and take this seriously. Phil smiled and said, “That sounds interesting.”

Dan blinked. Though Phil had said that to encourage Dan to tell him more, Dan just looked stunned for a moment. “Um, so this is something you think you can be okay with? You don’t feel like I’ve deceived you? And it’s not too weird for you?”

Phil hadn’t considered either of those things. His mind was so full of the other confession that Dan had made recently, so all he could do was smile wider. “Dan, you said you love me?”

Dan’s cheeks got pink, but he nodded. He pressed his lips together like he was holding in the words, and he stared at Phil in silence.

Perhaps he should have been annoyed – yesterday morning, Dan had sat on that same bed and declared that he needed time to find a label for how he felt. Now, after everything they had just been through together, Dan was still holding the words in. They might as well have stayed in this bed since yesterday, for all the progress that had been made… still, Phil couldn’t be annoyed. Dan had said the word once, and it had been the truth. And now that Phil knew in his heart how Dan really felt about him, that was all that mattered and he couldn’t stop smiling.

As if Dan had said it again and not just nodded, Phil said, “Me too. I really do. I’ve loved you since we first met. You know, you’re my first love. I didn’t know that I could feel this way about anyone, and then I met you. You’re so… I don’t know. I just knew. I’ve known since that first morning we shared in your kitchen that you were the one for me.” Finally confessing all of this felt like baring his soul to Dan, so he glanced down at the plush carpet while he spoke. At the end of his speech when he finally looked up, he was stunned by what he saw. “Dan, are you crying?”

Dan swiped at his cheeks to dry them and he took a deep breath to steady himself, but his cheeks were blotchy and his eyes were red. It didn’t look like he had been crying happy tears and he looked like he might fall apart again at any moment. Dan forced out the words, “Phil… you don’t understand.”

“Then tell me.”

“It’s just… you don’t know what I am really, and hearing that you’ve loved me since we met is the worst possible thing you could have said. It breaks my heart to hear that.”

Phil stood up suddenly, hating the space between them, and he stood before Dan. Gently, he put his hand under Dan’s chin and tilted his head up so that their eyes me. “Dan, I’m sorry but I don’t see how this can hurt you. I love you. And you love me, right?”

Dan whispered, “I do.”

“Then, that’s all I need to understand.” Phil sat on the bed beside Dan and put a hand on his knee because he couldn’t resist touching him for a moment longer. He had just meant to place his hand there and feel the warmth of Dan’s skin, but then he couldn’t help running his fingers back and forth across the smooth skin, rubbing patterns into it. Phil knew that he was acting weird right now, but he couldn’t stop it.

Dan didn’t seem to mind though, and he just sighed and relaxed a bit. He sighed, “Hmmm, please keep touching me like that…”

“Oh?” Phil blinked in surprise but kept tracing his fingers across Dan’s knee.

Dan nodded. He swallowed heavily before saying, “Yesterday, there was a moment when I thought I’d lost you. I thought I would never feel your hands on me again. So now, don’t stop please.”

Suddenly, his fingers stilled on Dan’s knee. Phil hadn’t been touching him out of arousal, but at Dan’s words he felt the need stir in him and his jeans felt tighter already – there was something irresistible about the thought of having Dan now, right after they had both confessed how they truly felt. Phil had never wanted Dan so badly as he did right now, and he had to hold in a whine. Finally, he just asked, “Dan, do you want to…? Because I know you’re probably exhausted right now.”

Dan twitched in surprise at the question, and his hand went to his hair hastily to arrange it – there was no help for his curls that had dried in a tangled mess, but the self-conscious movement just made him look even more adorable in Phil’s eyes. Dan said, “I’m not too tired, but are you sure you want me right now? I should probably take a shower to wash off the saltwater…”

“No, that’s alright. I want you now,” Phil insisted, and he was honestly intrigued by the idea of tasting the sea on Dan’s skin when he kissed him all over. He put a hand on Dan’s chest, pushing him back in the bed. As he did, the blanket fell off Dan’s shoulders, leaving him bare except for the boxers. Phil reached out a hand to tease at the waistband of Dan’s boxers and said, “Do you want these off?”

“Mmmh, yes please,” Dan answered, and he lifted his hips to help as Phil peeled the boxers off of him and tossed them onto the floor. Now completely nude, Dan relaxed against the pillows at the head of the bed. His eyes were heavy lidded, and he looked more ready for a nap than sex.

Phil had been about to take off his own clothes, but he thought better of it. Instead, he sat on the edge of the bed and reached out a hand, lightly running his fingertips across Dan’s side, making him shiver. Phil asked, “Are you tired? Do you want to go to sleep?”

Dan’s eyes widened. “No! I want you. Um, do you mind doing the heavy lifting?”

“Of course not,” Phil said with a chuckle, and he hardened more in his jeans at the thought. As he remembered the last time they had slept together, he realized that he wanted something else though. “Dan… will you do me a favor?”

“Anything,” he said with a smile.

Phil picked up Dan’s hand from the bed – Dan’s fingers were long and elegant, and Phil took a moment to appreciate the feel of them before he moved Dan’s hand. Lifting his own shirt, Phil pressed Dan’s talented fingers against his bared skin. Phil requested, “Touch me please. Like you did last time.”

A fire sparked in Dan’s eyes at the words, and he sat up, helping Phil strip off his clothes. They were both anxious to keep going after that, but there was a frustrating moment when Phil had to leave the bed to retrieve the bottle of lube and a condom from his suitcase. Then he was rolling back into place between Dan’s knees. “Quickly,” Dan requested as Phil slicked up his fingers. “I want you in me.”

Phil gently pressed a finger into him, and then another when he seemed ready, but he was working faster than he usually would have. At the moment, it seemed like neither of them had the stamina or patience for teasing. It was an odd feeling because Phil was usually one for foreplay, and he thought that if he had ever rushed through it that it would be in a moment when he was consumed by lust. That wasn’t what he felt now – he was consumed by need for the person lying beneath him. Phil didn’t feel completely whole right now as space separated him from the person he loved, and he felt like this awful feeling wouldn’t leave him until he pressed himself into Dan’s body. So, he pushed a third finger into Dan, making sure he was ready.

Dan sighed and moved his hips with the rhythm of Phil’s fingers as they moved in and out of him. He also moved his hands across Phil, roving idly across him. Dan’s fingers explored Phil’s chest first. Fingertips grazed across nipples, making Phil shiver, and then the hands moved to his back and pulled him closer. Phil sighed in contentment, “I love your hands so much.”

“I love you,” Dan whispered. His cheeks were flushed a soft pink. It was the first time he had said the words since they were on the boat, and that had been followed by a brief moment of rejection. So, he looked understandably nervous.

Phil placed a quick kiss on the tip of Dan’s nose and said, “I love you, too.” Then he drew his fingers gently out of Dan’s body and grabbed the condom and lube. As Phil readied himself, Dan continued to run his hands over Phil’s body, exploring places that Phil hadn’t realized were so sensitive – the skin across his ribs, the soft undersides of his arms, his collarbone, and the freckles that dotted his shoulders. By the time he had rolled on the condom and slicked himself with lube, he was tingling all over from Dan’s touches. He shivered as he lined himself up, ready to press in when Dan said it was okay. He asked, “Dan…?”

“Yeah, now,” Dan said without needing the sentence finished. His brows furrowed in concentration and his hands stilled on Phil’s back. After Phil had pressed halfway into him, a crease appeared between his brows as he frowned. He asked, “Can I have a minute”

“Of course, Love,” Phil said with a chuckle as he paused in his movements, giving Dan time to adjust. He already felt so good, halfway home in the warmth of the body below him, but he requested, “Could you keep touching me please? Your hands are so amazing.”

Dan laughed, but obliged, and the hands that had gone still on Phil’s back started moving again. They explored Phil’s shoulder blades and then the bumps along his spine. He asked, “Since when have you been so into my hands?”

This time, Phil felt his own cheeks get pink. “Oh, um… since the last time we did this, I couldn’t get a thought out of my head. It’s the way you play the piano and the way your hands felt on me in bed. I had this thought about you being a musician and playing me like your instrument. You’d put your hands on me in different places to see what sounds I would make.”

Dan stared at him in stunned silence for a moment, his face cleared of all emotion except surprise. Then he moved his hands lower, cupping Phil’s ass in his palms. He gave a squeeze before pushing, encouraging Phil to move deeper, making him moan. Dan smiled at the sound. “Hmm, that’s a deep note. I was expecting one a bit higher. Where do I have to touch you to get a higher one?”

“Shut it,” Phil sighed, feeling a bit flustered by the teasing tone in Dan’s voice. He was fully seated in his body now and the pleasure crashing over him was making it too difficult to concentrate on anything. He gathered his wits to ask, “Can I start moving? Are you ready?”

“Yes. Move please,” Dan answered, and he gave Phil’s ass another squeeze which made him groan.

Once Phil started moving, he didn’t hold back, knowing that he wouldn’t have the stamina to draw this out for long. He was exhausted and hungry, and the only thing keeping him going right now was the desperate urge to claim this body below him with climax. He reached between them, grasping Dan’s cock to give him more pleasure.

Dan gasped and twitched beneath him, and his body squeezed around Phil. He whined, “Ah, Phil! If you keep doing that I’m going to come!”

“Good,” he said in a gasp. “Want to see it.” He redoubled his efforts, making sure he was hitting Dan’s prostate with each thrust as he continued to stroke his cock. Then Dan fell apart beneath him and the sight of him trembling in pleasure pushed Phil over the edge after him.

As Dan’s body squeezed him through his orgasm, his hands continued to caress him. The touch felt different though, no longer intent on giving pleasure – it felt like he was touching him purely out of love now, just enjoying holding him close. Dan sighed, “I really love you.”

From his current position, he didn’t have a good view of Dan’s face, so he propped himself up with a smile. “I really love you, too.” When Dan frowned a little in response, Phil thought that maybe he was uncomfortable, so he slipped his softening erection out of him. The skin of their stomachs came unstuck as Phil sat up, and now Phil was frowning too at the mess. He announced, “I’m going to get a towel from the bathroom to clean us up.”

“Okay.” Dan relaxed against the pillows and rubbed his eyes as he waited.

In the bathroom, Phil ran the water long enough for it to be hot, wanting the washcloth to be warm and pleasant against Dan’s skin. Then he squeezed the excess out of the cloth before turning off the water and returning to the bedroom. Dan was still on the bed, but he had retrieved the charging cord from his suitcase and plugged in his phone, which he was now staring at. He had a funny look on his face and Phil couldn’t tell what he was feeling.

He asked, “You alright there, Dan?”

Dan jumped in surprise. Then he forced a small smile onto his face. “Oh. I guess… I got a message from the police. Um, they caught the guy. The one who tried to kidnap me.”

“Oh, that’s…” Phil rushed over and sat on the bed beside him, ready to offer comfort if it was needed. He put the washcloth down on the bed beside them, momentarily forgotten. “This is a good thing. Like, really good. You’re safe now.”

The smile widened but didn’t reach Dan’s eyes. “Yeah, that’s true. I’m glad they caught him. I do feel safe now. The thing is I don’t feel anything else, no satisfaction… It feels like that night in the alley was a lifetime ago, and that he hurt someone else, not me. What happened over the last few days feels so much realer to me. It kind of makes me nervous to go back to London, since I feel like a different person than I was when I left.”

Phil nodded, since he felt similar and had almost forgotten about the man who hurt Dan, though now that he remembered him he had to wonder if what happened was connected to the siren thing – hadn’t he called Dan a ‘little bird?’ Phil pushed the thought away for now because comforting Dan seemed more important. He told him, “It feels realer to me, too. If things have changed for us and we’re going to be different people when we return to our lives in London, then it will be alright because we are going back together.”

Dan bit his lip. Then he said, “Could I ask you something?” When Phil nodded, he continued, “When I go back to London and my job, could you come with me? Just for a night. One performance. I want to show you something.”

#phandom #phanfiction #phanfic #dan and phil #dan x phil #siren #mermaid #merman

[faerie-daydream]

Using relevant data, investigate and evaluate how punk music lyrics have changed over time to convey political ideologies and identities.

An essay I wrote for my English language coursework two years ago where some of the songs have now become kind of relevant

The punk scene exploded in the mid 70’s, with influences from 1960’s ‘garage rock’ along with a need to rebel against the expectations of society. Bands such as The Clash and Sex Pistols drew attention to themselves by unapologetically expressing their controversial political views, they provoked thought in people, encouraging people to explore their individuality and question authority. I chose to investigate this topic because although the word ‘punk’ means something different to everyone, there are common connotations that are universal across the scene. I am personally quite involved in the Punk scene so I get to witness modern day punk first hand; therefore, I can see any changes in the language or general culture over the last fifty years; the diversifications and the ways in which it has stayed the same.

I am going to be investigating how much the language used in the punk scene has been affected by the politics of the time. Has it changed that much over the years, and if so why? What drew the members of this scene to using such language? I expect that during this research I will find lots of politically themed lexis during times of more republican and conservative government. I think I will also find some taboo lexis, as coming from a working class majority, the punk scene has often been heavily influenced by drugs, and taboo lexis was traditionally language more typically used by working class citizens. It will also be interesting to look at grammatical structures such as imperatives, pronoun usage and modals to see if the lyrics aim to involve the audience.

To gather the data for my investigation, I picked out songs I already knew, and took some suggestions from other people I know who listen to this genre of music. To help with the political and social contexts, I asked family members who were around at the time of the release of the song.

Musicians in the early days of the punk scene used their songs as a way to educate people about contemporary politics. Because information wasn’t as readily available as it is today, they used their music as a platform to make it available. ‘Know your rights’ by The Clash, starts off with “this is a public service announcement” this phrase denotes important information due to its earliest use being in World War 2 as a way of informing the general public of important events. This pragmatically suggests that the band are like another government, or in a position of power, as usually it is these people making Public Service Announcements. This is followed up by a juxtaposed prepositional phrase “with guitar”. The addition of that phrase is putting emphasis on how popular music can be beneficial to the public, and how bands have a level of influence. Also by using the 2nd person possessive determiner ‘your’, they are addressing the listener personally. Both of these techniques create a sense of synthetic personalisation, where the band puts the audience in the position of active participants in political discourse, which is opposed to mainstream politics.

At the time of release in 1982, the U.K. Had a higher unemployment than there had been since the 1930’s, reaching 14% unemployment by September. The IRA were in a strong position because of hunger strikes the year before, leading to the deaths of 10 people. In this song, The Clash mostly use monosyllabic lexis, because the purpose was to educate the lower class citizens, and they were generally less educated, and wouldn’t trust the typical Latinate lexis associated with the formal register of mainstream political discourse. However, there is no use of taboo lexis in this song, because sometimes the lack of taboo is more powerful. They are trying to out across an informed opinion at the same time as informing people, so they want to sound educated, and taboo lexis was seen as the language of lesser educated people. By not including taboo lexis, the band ensure that their song will be played on the radio, reaching a wider audience – with less chance of being censored, they are making it easier for the young people who make up their target audience to discover. The imperative phrase “know your rights” is used frequently, and always followed up by “all three of them” and this juxtaposition gives the sentence more negative and critical meaning. The bald on record style of this phrase is an openly positive face threatening act towards the government and people in power. In the next verse, the band name the first right. This first right is a human right ‘right to life’, and again they have used very simple Germanic lexis, and are accommodating for their audience of working class citizens as well as differentiating themselves from political registers. The syntax choice in this sentence makes it a passive phrase, highlighting that the addressee is in the position of a helpless victim. The next ‘right’ mentioned is “the right to food money”. This listing of abstract nouns suggests that these two things are equivalent. This song was released not long after child benefits were introduced in the UK in 1970, because families would get money from the government to help feed themselves. The implications of this are altered in the next line; “investigation, humiliation” are what you have to experience in order to access this right. At the end, they use some ambiguous imagery “cross your fingers”. This phrase can have connotations of lying and also of hope. As this verse is a comment on benefits, and there is a stereotype attached to working class citizens who get benefits lying in order to ‘live off the government’. On the other hand, there are people who really do need the support, and so in this context would “cross their fingers” in hope that they get some financial aid to feed their family.

The third ‘right’ is “the right to free speech [unless you’re] dumb enough to try it”. This phrasing has some irony, as by writing these lyrics, and using them to criticize the government so openly, the band is practising their own freedom of speech. There is some underlying pragmatic irony used in the word ‘dumb’ as the originally, this referred to a person who was silent and unable to speak. In the last verse, they say “it has been suggested in some quarters that this is not enough”. By using the indeterminate pronoun ‘it’, the sentence is passive, and the person actually making the suggestion has been left out, creating a sense of mystery. The use of the adjective ‘some’ implies the people with this opinion are a minority.

Contemporaries of The Clash, Stiff Little Fingers brought out their song ‘Suspect device’ in 1979. The song title itself had strong political connotations as the band are from Northern Ireland and at the time of release, the Irish Republican Army (IRA) were still a prominent part of the politics. ‘Suspect Device’ was a euphemism used by police officers in reference to the bombs exploding more and more often in both Ireland and England as a result of ‘the Troubles’. The band then uses the phrase ‘suspect device’ in the second line, and say it has “left two thousand dead”. Over time, 1800 civilians have been killed by the IRA, so the band have used a dysphemism in putting a figure on the number of people dead to shock the audience into seeing the extent of the damage done during the conflict, and by not using a noun, specifying two thousand ‘people’ dead, there is emphasis put on the number.

Later in the song, the band use 3rd person pronouns to refer to the opposing side, however, don’t make it clear whose side (if any) they’re on. In the chorus, there is some use of colloquialism: “suss” was slang for ‘street smarts’ and could also have connotations of a law that was in place in the late 70’s until the early 80’s that gave police officers the right to arrest someone if they thought they looked suspicious. What with the dress sense and refusal to conform, there is a likelihood people who identified with the punk community would have been singled out with this law. In the first line, the lexical verb ‘planted’, is used and is a typical collocation with ‘bomb’. However, the meaning here is ambiguous as it has more than one possible meaning. They say inflammable material is “planted in my head”; this underlying metaphor suggests that ideas and thoughts can be just as dangerous as a bomb.

Throughout the song, pronouns and possessive determiners are used to create an ‘us vs them’ discourse. “They put up a wall…make sure we get fuck all”, this puts the government in a position of almost ownership, insinuating they can do as they please and make sure ‘we’, the citizens, get nothing from them, the government. By using a semantic field of a card game, the band are metaphorically implying the government is cheating them and “dealing them to the bottom”. In the second verse “they make us feel indebted for saving us from hell” is implying that life in Northern Ireland at the time was ‘hell’, and the British government are trying to put it right. However, from some points of view, the British government are the ones responsible for this ‘hell’. In the next line, a mild dysphemism is used, as during this time, more taboo lexis would most likely have them banned from the radio. As with The Clash, this song is meant to inform the listeners of the issues, and highlight another, less mainstream point of view, so radio play would have been essential.

In the next verse, they address the audience directly, with an imperative sentence “question everything you’re told” this is mild, and possibly unintended irony, as by questioning everything they’re told, the audience should be questioning the song and lyrics themselves. This could also be a reference to the typical punk nihilistic idea, and the rejection of fitting in that the punk scene promotes, encouraging the audience to think for themselves. Interestingly, during the last verse, they change the pronoun from 3rd person to 1st person, by saying ‘don’t believe us’, further encouraging independent thought. Using the phrase “we’re a suspect device if we do what we’re told” is further building this independent thought, as they are saying that if we try too hard to conform and fit it, we’ll eventually end up exploding. It is then implied that this is a purposeful act on the government’s part – they are building up these ideologies, trying to push people into becoming angry enough to fight. There is then a football related metaphor ‘score an own goal’, and this fits with the violence implied, as football fans have a reputation for violence, especially in the 70’s and 80’s. The closing line in the song is “we’re gonna blow up in their face”. The image used here fits with the semantic field of bombing that runs through the whole song, but could also be a metaphor suggesting that strategies put in place by the government are likely to backfire.

In 2001, the American people elected another Republican president, and this caused a re-sparking of angry political punk music. In ‘American Idiot’ by Green Day, they open the song with a negative face threatening act aimed at the government, and president himself: “don’t wanna be an American idiot”. The term ‘American idiot’ is allusion to George Bush Jr, who was the president at the time. In the first verse, there is a semantic field of media related panic. They are implying that the media stirs up anxiety (‘hysteria’) in a way that goes unnoticed by most of the American population – it is ‘subliminal’ to the ‘idiots’. “Mind-fuck” is an example of compound neologism to express an idea of emotional and mental manipulation. The verse as a whole is also commenting on how the population of America will believe anything they’re told on TV, and the use taboo lexis is to add to the feeling of severity and frustration at the population of their country.

In the next verse, they use the nouns “faggot” and “redneck”; these are an example of juxtaposing imagery. The liberal ‘faggot’ and conservative ‘redneck’ are opposite ends of the political spectrum, however both nouns are dysphemism, offensive terms used by the opposing side as an insult. There are underlying implications here that at the time, the US debates were very polarized, and the protagonist here can’t identify with either side, because the extremism on both sides are as bad as the other. However, the use of the slur against gay people hints that the protagonist is leaning more towards the ‘left-wing’ liberal view, labelling himself the ‘faggot’. It is also a reference to the band themselves, as all three members are openly bisexual. In the next two lines, the nouns ‘propaganda’ and ‘paranoia’, are used together, implying that propaganda causes paranoia. In the chorus they use a pun “alien nation” as it sounds like ‘alienation’, and that is what the protagonist is experiencing. The world ‘alien’ refers to a person or thing that doesn’t belong, or doesn’t originate in the country or place it is currently. In this instance, it is implying that the citizens of America are ‘aliens’ because the country has become a stranger to its own people. They use the word ‘dreams’ later in the chorus, though the implied meaning is ambiguous. It isn’t clear if ‘dreams’ is meant to be a verb or a noun, this adds to the sense of being alienated and distanced: does the protagonist know how it is meant? The term “television dreams” used with the previous line “everything isn’t meant to be okay” almost juxtapose each other, as in TV drama and advertising, life is often portrayed in an unrealistically positive manner. However, if a person switches the channel and looks at the news, they are faced with the harsh reality that the happy ending goal people strive for is rarely, if ever achievable. Also, the mention of the ambiguous noun phrase or clause “television dreams” alludes to the ‘American dream’, a very powerful inspirational ideology, which is being presented as reduced to an illusionary failure.

Moving forwards 12 years to 2013, a small band from Northern California – Emily’s Army – released a song called ‘Bad Cop’. The title of the song hints at the political problems the band are commenting on. The monosyllabic lexis used are one half of a common collocation ‘good cop, bad cop’, and by leaving off the ‘good cop’ part, it is implied that there is no longer a ‘good cop’ to counter the ‘bad cop’. In total in 2010-2011, 470 people were killed by law enforcement officers in the United States, giving the song its context. They use an oxymoron ‘police brutality and battery’ in the pre-chorus to outline this at face value. The brutality and battery parts are taboo topics, as this is a subject people usually tend to avoid. In the first verse, they talk about how the police man pulls out his gun instead of his stun gun, and they hint that it is an accident, but then follow up by pointing out the “stun gun is yellow, and his pistol is black.” The subtext here is saying that the officer knew exactly what he was doing. The use of the conjunction ‘but’ throws doubt over the first two lines – presumably the policeman’s explanation as to why he shot a person instead of stunning them. The parallel grammatical structure of a copular verb and colour adjective highlights this obvious contrast, implying it wasn’t an accident.

By using the abstract noun “police” as a modifier for the phrase “brutality and battery” creates powerful imagery, as stereotypically the word “police” has connotations of safety and protection, so the contrast of the phrase and the word is implying that the word is starting to undergo a semantic change, as people are associating the word “police” with violence and the things they’re meant to protect against. At the end of this verse, they use a common idiomatic expression that usually means to ‘finish something in a notable way’. However, in the context used here, it is also referencing the phrase to ‘top someone off’ – a common euphemism for killing someone, reinforcing the horror of a police officer doing these things. The shift to first person pronouns in the next verse is trying to give a voice to the thoughts of this sort of police officer. The word ‘mindset’ – used in the next verse has positive connotations, as a mindset implies having a beneficial approach to doing things. However the word ‘mentality’ has negative connotations, suggesting a detrimental approach to a situation, despite the two words being synonymous and carrying the same denotation. The juxtaposition used in the next line of ‘one hand on his gun’ and ‘one hand in his pants’ – here used as a euphemism implying masturbation – alludes to the common metaphor of a weapon symbolising a penis, and the penis as a weapon, and suggests the officer is getting an emotional response from the violence that is similar to sexual excitement.

While the language used in the punk music scene has changed since the 70’s due to the different political contexts, and its spreading to the USA, and although the purpose has changed somewhat, the overall intention hasn’t. The purpose of these kinds of songs has changed somewhat since the early stages. The Clash used their music as a way to inform people of political issues in a world where the information was not as readily available, whereas the more modern political punk music is trying to put things in a simple, factual form, because their listeners have almost too much access to information and it can get overwhelming. There is a semantic field of fighting against injustice and war across all four songs I have investigated, and there are common themes of the cultural encouragement to ‘think for yourself’.

The songs I have looked at and the culture associated with punk music overall is encouraging people to go against the grain of society and embrace their individuality. The common boldness when it comes to criticizing those in power is a part of what draws people to the punk culture, and throughout the years, bands have expressed their anger and distaste with the government and current political affairs in an open manner, all with the intention of shocking the listener enough to help make a change.

However, despite the similarities, the language used has changed over time. In the earlier days of the punk music scene, less taboo lexis were used in songs, as these would result in radio ban and the band wouldn’t be able to spread the information. In later years, swear words have become less of a taboo and wouldn’t shock people as much, so they can be used in songs and the message of the song wouldn’t become overshadowed by the use of taboo lexis. Although the critical nature of the lyrics used in punk songs hasn’t change too much, the ability to openly criticize people in power has increased the number of songs that directly criticize political figures. The generally more accepting state of the society we live in today has meant the punk culture has become less of an underground scene, it has opened the songwriters up to a wider audience, getting more mainstream media attention. Overall, despite the language changes in the songs over time, the semantics and overall messages have stayed relatively similar.

However, the sample, if typical for classic punk and more up-to-date American punk, is fairly small. So, it would be interesting to collect a lager sample from a wider range of performers to see whether these tentative conclusions would still apply; perhaps using some female fronted, or all female punk bands to see how the message they are trying to display differs.

#blm writing #political #politics #essay #writing