#I first woke up at 4 am and idk how much sleep I got between then and when I woke up again at like 6:20 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

captain-aralias · 11 months

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giving birth

idk, i'm pretty sure some people wouldn't write a post about going into labour on tumblr, but it's a thing i wanted to write about, so - it's here if you want it! if you'd rather avoid, don't click the read more.

things normal people might want to know outside the cut:

baby is now 11 days old <3 things are generally going well. i sleep between about 11pm and 3am, and then again 8am to 10am

it's been hard to get enough brain together to write a post like this, reply to comments, read fic, etc, as many of my most cogent hours have been visitor hours or hanging out with my partner. the night shift is not a good time to do things that aren't watching TV. i've managed to Read Half a Book (daisy jones and the six - easy going, i like it)

i was going to cosplay him as baby simon snow left at the orphanage, but he looks nothing like simon (much more like baz - currently: grey eyes, reddish-gold skin, dark hair), and also i don't want to write on my baby :o

surprise fourth entry: we think the terrace house next door has been turned into a brothel ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ok - birth stuff after this. not too much gory detail, probs, but some.

the beginning part you already know!

waters broke on thursday 11th, just after i woke up. this was two days after the stitch was removed, and therefore almost certainly related, so hooray for stitch! kept the baby in until 37 weeks.

i'd been worried that i might not realise my waters had broken, as apparently this is totally possible. i am here to tell you - that YES, it is possible. i clocked what it probably was immediately, but also it wasn't a 4 cups of liquid is everywhere sort of deal, it was more like - about half a cup every hour or so. and so i thought - this is probably what is happening, but maybe it's not and i should have done more pelvic floor exercises.

went to hospital. got hooked up to the machine that monitors baby heartbeat and movement. nothing much happening, although heartbeat all ok. the midwife on duty was called 'merlyn' - true story.

she asked me to walk around for a bit and come back, so my partner and i walked to the costa coffee inside the hospital. i ordered one of the new 'bubble' drinks, because i thought - why not? it's sugary and cold, these are things that make babies move. the drink was...... not good. blueberry slushy with cream on top and bubbles that were a) too big to fit through the absolutely normal straw and b) apparently were a cross between blueberries and popping boba. i say apparently as i'd given up by then and my partner ate them.

anyway - this detail included just to show you how surreal and nothingy early labour was. we walked back, hooked back up to the machine. baby now kicking a bit, and merlyn asked me whether i just had a really high pain tolerance and therefore wasn't upset about the contractions. i said, 'i dont know - guess we're about to find out' 🤔

agreed i probably wasn't in labour yet, so i was sent home, but asked to come back at 4.30 for my pre-scheduled scan with the nice doctor who first realised my cervix was open, and who we've seen regularly since (because my partner rang to complain when we had no follow up, and because this doctor was the one who rang us back and then made sure we were seen afterwards. not brilliant work from NHS administrators).

was also told if i didn't go into labour before hand, to come back at 8.30am (24 hours after waters broken) to be induced. given leaflet about induction methods. key take away - could take up to 3 days. sounds terrible.

home for 2 hours, back to hospital for scan.

we were waiting around for about half an hour. shown in - doctor says, 'we've had some difficult patients today, sorry! but you should be easy'. my partner tells her my waters have broken - she's surprised! (but pleased) no one has managed to tell her or put it in any notes, which she just reviewed. again - great job. i do love you NHS, but what is going on? a student midwife is trying to scan me - and has had to deal with all these previous difficult cases. with little amniotic fluid left, her job is basically impossible. sorry :'(

but - waters breaking confirmed! honestly, until that point i was still not sure. doctor says, induction could be offered immediately, but we mostly don't do that as in almost all cases you go into labour before 24 hours. i said thank you again for spotting my cervix being open. weird to think we won't see her again!!

went home. watched the end of 'little dorrit' (overall - it's good. so many famous people. the ending is a bit all over the place, though). about 9pm started feeling period-pain type pain. figured: probably a contraction! definitely did not feel like i expected in that there was no real release. it was just - now you're having a painful period. i called maternity triage again to say there was blood in the water now, and they reminded me that was totally normal (mucus plug, i guess) and to come back when things were serious.

so - i went to sleep.

woke up at about 2am. contractions now serious business, but also still... not as serious as i'd expected. again: basically it felt like period pain, this time crossed with constipation. and then it would go away, and i'd feel totally normal again, which i was not expecting.

we'd been told to come in when the contractions were every 5 minutes for an hour. my contractions were coming about ever 2-3 minutes. after about 20 minutes, i told my partner that i wanted to go to the hospital now, even if we should really wait. this was the RIGHT decision.

i'm the only one who can drive our car. it was obviously not a good idea to drive the car. i called an uber. unfortunately the labour ward is on the other side of the hospital to the main entrance, and doesn't have an address you can give uber..... retrospectively i'd have done better just putting in the street, like i usually did, but i tried to use the labour ward post code. we ended up at the main entrance, which was shut.

erin (my partner) keeps telling people that the uber drive was annoyed i slammed the door of his car, but i honestly do not remember this. the drive was about 10 minutes, during which i alternated between feeling bad and feeling totally fine.

we didn't bother trying to direct the driver to the right part of the hospital, just got out. erin wanted to go and get a wheelchair, but i didn't want to just sit on the ground outside the hospital in the middle of the night while she did that, and i felt completely fine ... except when i didn't.

so we walked to the labour ward. it's about 5 minutes from the entrance. i sat on the floor when the contractions came. then walked again. cool times.

arrived at maternity triage. again, it felt like going there every other time we'd ever been there - my key take away is that most of being in labour was extremely underwhelming. pain was not great, to the extent that i was thinking 'i can see why people don't like labour, maybe this was a terrible idea', but i could still think things like that. they hooked me up to the same machine as they had in the morning, and this time it said - yes, definitely in labour (which i knew, but ho hum - it was doing its best!).

asked to confirm i was a low risk pregnancy. we were like - nope, don't think so. ivf, stitch, isnt that in the notes??

a midwife came over and was like - "WOW, you're 8cm dilated." (of the necessary 10cm) at which point they started to take everything a bit more seriously. but they also described a bunch of pain relief options - and i was like, whatever, give me whatever i can have. and then was told - oh no, you actually can't have pethadine, water birth, or epidural of these as you're too far along. (which i also knew, but then why offer?)

i'd sort of suspected this might be the case, given how my cervix tried to open at 21 weeks. so my birth plan was basically 'whatever'. v glad i hadn't had my heart set on anything in particular.

they wheeled me down the corridor to one of the birthing rooms. they wouldn't let me go to the toilet in case i had the baby in the toilet..... that's how quickly things were happening.

i managed to change into the hospital gown, then got onto the bed. 'this is such a comfortable bed' i told my partner, although later (post birth) i realised that it wasn't... but i appreciated it a lot at the time.

i WAS allowed gas and air, hurrah. i'm extremely keen on doing things that make my life easier, so i accepted, obvs. basically, you breathe in during the contractions, and breathe out of the mask normally when you're not contracting.

THIS made the whole experience very different from just 'intense period pain', in part probably because the pain was ramping up, but also because whenever i wasn't contracting i felt completely off my face from the gas. overall, i thought this was a decent pain relief option. i also liked how breathing in the gas gave me something to focus on while pain was happening and it was a clear signal to everyone else that it was happening.

i probably had about... 5 more before my body was like 'maybe time to push'. (it really did feel different/like an actual urge). midwife told me i couldn't have the gas and air anymore - boo - just focus on pushing when the urge came.

pushed...... but obviously it hurt, so even though they were like 'keep pushing!' i thought, i will just relax because that's less painful. (great job, brain.) but i only faked out twice.

they invited a doctor in, because i was bleeding, and baby's heartrate was dropping. i agreed to the episiotomy because even though i reeeally didn't want that, i obviously would do whatever to get the baby safe.

retrospectively, my partner and i think that probably i was bleeding because i'd just had the stitch out two days before and those wounds had opened. but neither of us thought of it at the time, and no one assisting with the birth had had time to read the notes. (this is a theme of the post, not to be too whingey - but it was a shame). but anyway, the cutting (boo) came with a side of local anaesthetic (HOORAY) so actually it felt like a very good decision at the time, even above baby's safety.

one more contraction, one more push - baby was born in one go.

he's premature-levels of small at 5lb 10oz (5th percentile), even though he's technically full term. this is why erin and i think the bleeding was from the stitch rather than the baby, although one of the midwives suggested perhaps he was holding his arm up next to his face and that made him seem bigger. the scan we got the day before estimated his weight as being more normal, but scans are super unreliable particularly late in pregnancy.

really a very easy birth, as far as i can tell. i had slept through a lot of the early stage. the fear of being at home at not with medical professionals was the worst bit (and we fixed that by just going in even when we weren't sure) and as soon as it was over, i felt immediately fine. the whole thing had taken 2 hours tops. baby born at 4.30am.

i thought i'd cry when they gave me the baby, but actually i was too surprised that he was actually there and alive. (my partner cried.) the umblical cord looks creepy and alien. we'd agreed a medical professional should cut the cord, rather than erin (who wants to do this? they just want dads to feel involved). i got to hold him baby while they gave me the shot to deliver the placenta. barely felt it.

then had to give baby to erin for 30 minutes while a fuck tonne of stitches were put in... the amount of sewing involved was definitely worrying. i'd assumed maybe like... two stitches, but... it was a lot. can't recommend (though could not feel it at the time.)

after that, we just got to hang out in the room. i showered, changed, they brought me (but not erin) some breakfast and lunch. they did tests on the baby, most of which he passed. didn't pass the hearing test but apparently this is normal, as lots of babies have fluid in their ears. we think he can hear as he has startled at loud noises since. all the clothes i'd brought were hilariously too big.

sent home about 12 hours after the birth. could have stayed if we'd wanted to, but definitely did not.

i felt totally fine the entire day of the birth, full of LOTS of adrenalin. second day was also ok. third day was my crash. i got a cold, which was NOT good for my pelvic floor (and which i still have, RIP). my stitches hurt, the sleep debt had kicked in and i was hobbling everywhere, and breastfeeding wasn't going well. before the birth i'd been very much of the opinion that i'd breastfeed if it was easy, but i found it kind of weird and knew the health benefits were exaggerated. (but not completely, obviously). deep in my hormones, i was not able to hold onto this previously rational view. instead, i was thinking - i have no connection to my baby anymore.

i also cried at the song 'making a man' from the musical operation mincemeat (which is NOT an emotional song - but is about someone with the same name as my baby, who i'd just made), the beginning of the movie 'in the heights' (it was just so good!), the ending of the movie 'pride', and i cried again while describing what had happened at the end of 'pride' and how i'd cried.....

bought several breast pumps, fed the baby formula, took a day off from trying to breastfeed, things pretty much fixed for me (except for the crying at movies) by day 5. going to continue with combination feeding (i.e. breastmilk+formula) though, because it just seems insane to have to wake up every time the baby is hungry. what am i, a sadist? and when people are over - how good not to have to get your breasts out... thank you makers of formula.

ANYWAY. we're now on day 11. feels like baby is pretty easy going for a baby, he only cries when he needs something - which i appreciate, as it helps me keep him alive \o/ he will sleep in his basket, but only if he's already asleep. he prefers to be held. he can sleep for 3 hours at a time, but only during the day - at night you're lucky to get 1 hour, and he has been awake for about 2 hours at a time, unlike about 15 minutes average in the day. he smells nice, he wasn't cute-cute when he first came out, but he is getting extremely cute now and i think he looks more like my partner than an unknown donor (although still all to play for, i think). because he's still super small and almost pre-term, his legs and arms are still all curled up like he's in the womb, even though he's been out 11 days. but he's gradually uncurling them and stretching out.

i like holding him. he makes funny faces. he has a LOT of hair - which means the heartburn was right about that one. (n.b. heartburn is linked to hair, this is an old wives tale that is now scientifically proven) think it's going well, overall <3

n.b. i had to pause at this point because baby woke up. what they say about baby boys peeing on you while you change their nappies is 100% accu-rat, but it's quite funny really. we haven't worked out how to stop it because putting a cloth over him makes him hold it in..... and then you remove the cloth....... fine comedy in action.

my bump was very small, so i was able to put my pre-pregnancy jeans back on after only a few days. hooray, i love jeans.

uterine contractions started about day 6 (this is a thing i feel i did not know about before being pregnant myself. 7 days worth of contractions post baby to bring your uterus back in line). wow, it's like MORE PERIOD PAIN. great. there's less blood than i expected, though. i also can't control my temperature well at night - so i'm super hot while asleep, then get out of bed and start shivvering. apparently this is what the menopause will be like. looking forward to that 😅

not much else to add except the brothel stuff. basically 2 nights ago, someone knocked on my front door at 4.30 (same time baby was born!) in the morning as i was sitting up with baby. rang the doorbell, walked round to peer through the window, and then knocked again. i would not have answered - just wanted him to go away, but erin came down and opened the door, which was (it turns out) the right thing to do, but i was not happy about it - as we live in a semi-dodgy neighbourhood, although i've always felt relatively safe as we're off the highstreet and there are often people outside the pub until 1-2am, which is annoying but also feels like they'd see and stop anything bad.

i was running through scenarios like 'and then he breaks in' or 'and then he stabs whoever opened the door' in my mind. instead he just said something like - 'do you know where the whorehouse is?' and erin said 'wtf, it's 3am' and closed the door.

this could have just been a random incident, and indeed i didn't hear him say 'whorehouse' so i thought it was just a drunk guy asking for directions. but once she told me what he'd said, we then realised that the house next door to us... probably is a brothel. it's been renovated by our ex-neighbours and rented out, all the windows are blacked out, including the skylight we can see out of our windows. there's a complex doorbell system, they refuse to take our packages in, they don't have any bins out the front (which is presumably because no one is using the house as a house), and we've definitely heard people having sex through the walls. though erin thinks they've put up sound insulation just in time to not have to hear the baby crying in retaliation.

she's american and leftie and very against cops, so i'm trying not to be a karen about it. i have not reported it to the police, but i have said to erin already that if anything else happens that makes me feel unsafe...... i probably will. the man knocking on the door makes me not want to be awake with the baby in the night, even though nothing happened. (he broke the first rule of secret brothel - you DONT talk about secret brothel). we don't have our ex-neighbours details, so reporting is all we could do. apart from i guess ask them to move.... (won't be doing that, obvs. confrontation? no thanks.)

hopefully it's fine, and they will just move on at some point. VERY weird, though. and not what i need while hopped up on hormones.

glad to have written this post! feels like a good turning point in baby land, being able to write some words even if it's just this stream of consciousness. i also logged back into work Teams to send some pictures. since he was born, have been out with baby to the midwife (in the car), marks and spencers (in the car with pram), boots (in the pram), and today to a hipster coffee shop (in car, baby slept in pram bassinet). might reply to some comments tomorrow. working back up to actually writing some fic or finishing my lego.

also - it's (almost) hitting me that i have 9 months off work. apart from the sleep, i feel like i could go back to work now.... but i WANT the time off. but usually i only take 2 weeks off, and i've done that now... so it's time to go back to work...

i did read a bunch of other messages on Teams/Slack when i was posting the pictures. v hard not to care. even with something much more important to do.

ok - going to eat some food, now. thank you to anyone who read this far! hope it was interesting as well as long.

not tagging this pregnancy as i was doing it so people could block the tag, but people who don't know me literally found my posts and read them. and ... that's not what this is for.

#aralias's baby #personal #my content

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dopaminergicaddictions · 3 months

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I woke up at like 2:20 with maybe 6 hours and 45 minutes of sleep. I can't really go back to bed cause if I did I'd likely sleep until 430 or worse.

I think I'm slowly dialing it back. I mean I'm going to take the pill at 4:20 a.m. That's a good thing. I'm glad I can take it at 15 hours and be sleeping somewhere between 16 hours and 16 1/2 hours. I wish I could take it at 14 hours or 14 1/2 but I'm getting closer and closer. I just hope I don't have a set back.

I woke up a little earlier and got really happy 😊 I love you with all my heart. You have no idea how happy I am to meet you and your girls one day. I just wish I could fast forward the time.

I know you won't be able to be there for everything bc you're a mom, I'm not expecting you to be there all the time. I just want to see you at least once every 2 weeks. I'm hoping that will work, once a month would be good too.

I'm excited to meet your friends. I'm more excited to be apart of your family. I can't wait to just sit next to you and talk to you. I miss your voice so much, I forgot what it sounds like :( although if you were behind me in a grocery store and you said anything, my heart would skip a beat and I might faint. Time would stop.

I have a cute idea, I want to meet you in person but-maybe we could start with a FaceTime just once. It would be nice to talk to you over Webcam again one last time before we meet. My username is Nathanx7991..... I might have used your birth year in a lot of my usernames at this point...... I know you're my soulmate. And even if it was just friendship, then you're my soul friend. I know it's more than that.

I can't wait until you text/fb message me. Don't FaceTime me at first cause I don't have an iPhone. You always made time for me before. I know that even though you may not be able to get drunk at birthday party. You'll still be able to be with me more than enough.

I want you to know I'm ready to settle down. I'm ready to be a dad. I'm ready for all of it. I think about it all the time. I just worry I won't be enough, but I'm going to try and I know you believe in me. I know I'm enough for you. Low key I wish I could hang out with your girls now, I want a minecraft buddy. I was thinking about Etta (I think she's the younger one, I'm not sure) yesterday when I almost played and how nice it would be to start a world with her. Idk If the older one likes minecraft but it would be nice to get together in person and on xbox live and play together. Idk If you can play minecraft on couch co-op. We could always hook up to couple tvs and join the same world together though. I got a little 32 incher.

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lambsearandlavender · 1 year

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I am doing a mix of emdr and brainspotting with sessions in between all that to talk, problem solve, unpack, etc. 2 weeks ago I picked a brainspotting target I thought was pretty safe and like, a middle sized problem with middle sized emotions. (My therapist and i use brainspotting that way for small to medium sized things in between working on big ones with emdr.) I didn't realize until it was too late that I was going to relive something extremely traumatic while discussing the safe medium stuff, because the traumatic big one was a thing I never had time to cope with - i survived it and jumped right into the next survival situation and essentially forgot it happened. I mean I just didn't think about it much and when it did surface I like, knew enough to know i needed to push it back down for a safe time to revisit.

This time and manner was not really the safe time or manner to revisit, which isn't anyone's fault because I had really thought through my brainspotting target and deemed it safe and my therapist can't work with things she literally doesn't know about yet. So, it happens, and that's why you do hard trauma work with a professional, folks! But anyway, you know we talked it through in the session and also agreed it was going to need to be an emdr, bigger deal target. We talked about self care for that night and how my brain would continue processing beyond that day and to be careful.

And then, as trauma sometimes does, I took care of myself that night and woke up the next day feeling just fine. I went to work, came home, and... couldn't sleep. Spent a long, long night in bed with my eyes closed and just wired wide awake. I got 2 hours in eventually, went to work, so eager to sleep when I got home. So exhausted. Feeling totally fine emotionally. And again, no sleep. Called in sick.

I got about 2 hours of sleep a night for over a week. I missed a ton of work. I was a wreck of panic attacks and just anxiety, sleepless nights followed by sleepless days, crying. I had no idea why or what was happening to me. It took my husband, about 4 days in, to remind me that the insomnia perfectly followed that rough therapy session and it all clicked.

For one, I wanted to share that for people looking for info on emdr. I had trouble when I started it finding people talking about the experience. So there's one of mine, as a follow up to my first big emdr target which was a big heavy scary trauma and also a total cakewalk for me. The brain is funny that way. My first target was to change my deepest, darkest core belief that I am worthless and don't deserve so much as the air I breathe; the belief came from childhood abuse; the therapy was easy. In a month or two, idk, I found my self worth. I separated it from the trauma. I believe I have inherent worth as a person, and that nothing can take it away, and that progress has already survived some really bad days and meltdowns. So like....I think this is all super duper worth it. But... it's hard too.

But idk, I didn't think any amount of therapy could really make me believe I have worth or remove me from that childhood trauma. I really think about some of the worst moments of my life now and think, that baby deserved better but I'm giving her that care now. And that's it. I'm ok. That's absolutely wild.

Anyway, I want to journal a lot more about my January, but... I'll leave this here for people who want to know about emdr. And if you want to ask someone about it, feel free to message me.

#emdr #brainspotting #ptsd #cptsd #pnes

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vicea · 3 years

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dream merch discord recap (june 12, 2021) - disclaimer: i may have missed some things or mistakenly heard other things, apologies in advanced for that!

he has not played the new minecraft update

dream “knows” the date george is coming to florida but he’s not saying it :p

dream doesn’t have anyone muted on twitter

dream guesses his favorite disney princess is belle

sapnap has seen dream’s feet before

he’s not actually connor’s dad in the dsmp lore

dreamnap do not have nicknames for each other D:

dream likes olives but especially black olives

his mother makes homemade pickles

he doesn’t have a phone case

he has dropped his phone from his ear onto concrete in the parking lot before and the screen didn’t crack

dream has six fingers /j

he pours cereal first not milk when making cereal

dream calls sapnap nick most of the time :D

what’s your dream car? “idk the one that gets me to point A to point B consistently”

he finally fixed his sleep schedule, woke up at 8 am today

mrbeast owes dream a tesla because he never sent dream the audio file

dream is a very analytical person - he thinks with numbers/data

creativity is one his strengths that he is the most proud of

3 to 4 years ago, dream used to say george looks like shawn mendes a lot, now he doesn’t resemble him as much

patches is currently sleeping <3

swimming is very relaxing to dream, he swam the other day!

many houses in florida have pools than other places, even the cheapest houses in orlando have pools

dream has merchendise defects (misprints on merch) + milestone merch and he wants to give them away to those who live in orlando (probably to anyone but the event will be held in orlando) though he doesn’t want it to be a covid super-spreader thing so once you pick up your item you gotta dip. just all an idea though

he has been donating them to charity too though :)

dream has likely read Heroes of Olympus before a long time ago

he says that he’ll do a give away of his childhood books with his signature on it

he was obsessed with the series (Percy Jackson)

he really liked the Alex Rider series

has all of Maximum Ride books, 39 clues books

has read the legend series, the twilight series, and the maze runner

has all/read of the harry potter books, divergent, eragon

he would read all the time, to the point he would read more than one book a day (a book worm he says)

dream had a goal to read 200 books in a year and he wind up reading about 150

he doesn’t want to call it a library but- growing up he had something like that that had 600 or 700 or more books in it (privileged he admits it)

he has not read a book since he started youtube (about 2 years)

dream has a folder called Book that has his own writing in it

word count: 76000 words for one of his stories

another one he wrote 5 chapters of

he sounds very excited/embarrassed talking about the stories he wrote he’s so endearing

the very first paragraph of one of his stories (he was young when he wrote this) “What exactly is darkness? is it the lack of light? is it a pit of nothingness? ... your mind is full of darkness...” then he couldn’t continue.

the story is about a kid who wakes up in a cell and has no idea where he is with other people who are in the same situation

dream has a world building document

he has a sequel to the first book he has ever written

he found a query letter that he wrote because he wanted to get his book published- he finds it very funny

he’s calling himself a nerd but idk it’s kind of endearing

“as you can tell i’ve always been incredibly cool and not a nerd at all! ever.”

he cringes at his own old videos

dream took a lot of inspiration from witches and wizards by james patterson for writing

the story is written in a way where the main character is actually writing the story so you’re getting input from the main character during it. there’s a lot of sarcasm in it and it’s making dream laugh

very first person narrator

he feels like it’d be very cool if he were to publish his works he wrote when he was 16 on amazon or something but he probably never would because he’d have to read through all of it and it’s just embarrassing for him

dream used to video call sapnap fairly frequently- even before youtube

he strictly remembers, a very long time (at least 7 to 9 years) ago he was at his old childhood house he video called sapnap. he was wearing a (technically) suit and he remembers specifically that he was giving sap a tour...

“snazzy in a suit”

he had no reason to put on the suit (wow time is a flat circle huh)

drista is pretty close to sapnap’s height, she’s like 5′7″ but sap is still taller than her

dream filmed the whole thing when he and sapnap met but... it’s... gone because when he was clipping that one clip for twitter... it edited the whole video

he’s sure when they meet up with george they will film that too :D

DREAM IS PRETTY SURE THAT HE AND GEORGE WILL MEET THIS YEAR-- HE SAYS A 95% CERTAINTITY the five percent is like either restrictions or visa issues

dream does not play any instruments but he had a guitar hanging on his wall when he was younger...

dream is convinced they’re the same height but also sapnap is probably taller??

they had george compare his height to a door frame and dreamnap were googling for any doorframes to find any possible chance that george is taller than 5′8″ ... nothing came up

there’s a chance they’re both lying about being 5′8″

sap and george will literally just show up in stilts to prove they’re taller than each other /j

dream without shoes is between 6′2″ and 6′3″ with shoes he’s 6′3.5″

dream is talking about awesamdude’s fake height arc again LOL

dreamnap are very private people so they don’t bother each other but george doesn’t care and would just barge into their rooms and start bothering them- they were all joking about that over a voice call

he will visit europe

he thinks that greece would be a cool place to visit because sapnap’s family is from there :) so it’ll be like a nice “treat” to go back with sap :D

dream isn’t entirely sure that the dream team meet up will happen this year but he’s working out the details because he wants to make sure it’s safe

he’s talking to youtube about his face reveal

it’s up to george if he wants to eat healthy when they finally move in

dream just has a lot of meat and vegetables in his house

spinach with chicken is good

not much fruit (only apples and tomatoes)

“DRISTA IS 5″ is trending on twitter LOL (her height got cut off)

dream doesn’t want people flying to different places because he doesn’t want to encourage travel so he wants to do all of the meet ups with a two day heads up at most

he thinks that it’s awesome that ranboo and tubbo are meeting soon !! :D

it’s very cool to dream to see how far everyone’s has come since the beginning of the dsmp. everyone has done so much

dream finalized his youtube plan a couple weeks before he uploaded his video and he was talking to drista about how he was gonna be a big youtuber in a parking lot :”)

she was the first person he really ever talked to about it

dream would love to teach george how to drive it’d be really funny :D (a very good video or a livestream idea)

dream knows how to ride a bike, he used to have to bike to school

he can’t explain dnf.gay he has no clue he is not responsible. sapnap was the one who found it LOL. he is adamantly exclaiming that it was not him

dream doesn’t worry about views/likes/dislikes a lot- mainly views but that’s for the new uploads

he hasn’t uploaded in like a month and a half (*cries*)

he wants to stream at some point but he doesn’t know when

he wants to play geoguessr but not now... he doesn’t want to alt stream rn- maybe tomorrow!

he is insisting that the splash text on his minecraft home screen is by callahan

he asked callahan to send him bunch of text files that are dream team related so that the splash can rotate through it but callahan thought it was funny (it is) to put only dreamnotfound <3 so it doesn’t ever change at all and dream doesn’t even know how to change and he has asked callahan to change it but he said no (even though dream pays him LMAO)

the video referenced in the padilla’s video is still in the works, it might be handed over to sapnap though !

he has no idea if he will be in MCC pride yet

padilla got dream’s input for the video, dream found him to be a very nice guy ! :) it’s the first interview that dream did that wasn’t by a person with a negative opinion of dream

dream felt relaxed doing the interview with padilla

?????? he’s blaming callahan for his “dnfisreal” nickname in bedwars

he’s blaming callahan for a lot of dnf-related stuff

callahan runs the dream fanart account thus the liking of dnf content

he’s so insistent that it was callahan

dream admits that he was lying about the twitter and other stuff but for sure callahan did code the splash text in LOL

dream liking that tweet “the chances of george doing a hot tub stream is the same of dnf dating” was “funny” he wasnt trying to do any commentary...

the inside joke of “oh it’s all just a joke to you” originates from george and sapnap actually always fighting (like them yelling and shouting at each other) and george said something really mean and sapnap was hurt then geroge said “it was just a joke” and sapnap replied with that line and ever since then it’s been a meme LOL

he says that everyone does the hand-on-the-passenger-seat-while-reversing thing

dream is offline raiding with his chat with 6k people

dream appreciates us and will talk to us soon!

#dreamwastaken #dreamblr #long post #really long post xd #summary #not really a summary... literally just everything he said #merch discord

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mr-lancers-english-class · 3 years

Text

Second and last part of Phic Phight 2021!

Full text below the cut. Warnings for swearing and some drinking mentions.

Mary Baker had a list. She kept it in the back of her calculus notebook. It had started as a joke, something to amuse herself with any time differential equations or taylor series got to be a bit too much. In her three years at uni, it had evolved into a full-on conspiracy theory.

Somehow, despite the multiple thousands of people who went to her school, Mary had had a class with one Daniel Fenton every semester of her college experience. They weren’t even in the same major, but there was quite a lot of overlap between astrophysics and biochemical engineering, weirdly enough, and so every September and every January, Mary found herself walking into at least one class to find Fenton already there.

The list at the back of her calculus notebook was, in theory, very simple. In practice, it was the bane of her existence, and she was sure if she could figure out what it all meant, she’d be the youngest Nobel Prize winner in history.

THAT FENTON KID: WTF IS HIS DEAL???

Doesn’t sleep??? Ever???

Frosh roomie Jake says he always went to bed first and by the time he woke up, Fenton would already be awake

Jake is an avid partyer, joined the frat with the highest DUI rate

Jake goes to bed at 2am on a good day

Got an on-campus single soph + junior year

RA 1 Beth, says he never caused any issues

RA 2 Mac, Fenton brought them fudge a lot but only late at night

Espresso dealer knows Fenton by name and order

I have never once seen Fenton in that coffee shop when the sun is shining

LIBRARY!!!

Al says Fenton is in the library studying until like 4am when they close

Al also doesn’t sleep, testimony should be taken with caution

Climber/Boulderer/Parkour

Once twice thrice Came to class through 3rd+ story window

Calc 1: 12

History of Ghanian Art: 6

Intro bagpiping: 1 (carrying bagpipes in one arm and bag on back)

Chem 1: 4

Calc 3: 10

Phys 1: 8

Espresso dealer says Fenton chills on the roof of Smith Hall

No roof access to Smith Hall per janitors + admin

Smith Hall is in the middle of a field w/ no trees

Captain of Parkour Club

Also, founded Parkour Club

There’s like two other members and they’re both from the same tiny town in the middle-of-bumfuck-nowhere Illinois

Where tf is Fenton from???

Only does work in Spooky von Haunted Library

Racist pos can go die in a hole, I will only ever refer to that hellscape by the actual fun shit that happens there

But yeah Fenton never works anywhere else

Per Al, who works the night shift there three days a week

Checked with Greg @ SP Lib and Wren @ 28th St Lib, they’ve never seen him at their libraries

Talks to ghosts?

Per Al, has convos w/ legit nothing

Finally broke down? Wish it were me

Seems to get inspired by said convos w/ nothing

No sense of danger? There’s a better way to word that but idk man

Took 20 cr first semester, 3.8 gpa

SEE?!?!? DOESN’T SLEEP!!!

Took calc 3 with Smith

Which is the dumbest move possible, Smith grades way too hard

Also, somehow pulled an A

Parkour club

Dude ends up on top of tallest buildings on campus every week

And then fucking leans over the side to figure out how to get down wtf???

HazMat

I wrote this down like a year ago and then forgot fuck

I REMEMBERED!!!

Hazmat spill in chem lab, Fenton legit didn’t realize

Finished the lab, turned it in, walked out none the wiser

Might have drank hydrochloric acid once????

Nani says so

Normally I’d trust her, but there’s no fucking way

Def downed a whole bottle of ammonia

What, cocaine not enough for you???

But yeah chem 1

So yeah actually I believe Nani he totally drank hydrochloric acid

Bear

Oh lol yeah a bear got on quad

Fucking Fenton chased it away allll bu self

Also some jakcass had paintted it fucking brught green

lol frat boys amiright?

i’m too fucking drunk for thsi rn later mary can deal wtih the bear

Walked through a wall

Okay what the unmitigated fucking hell????

Fenton just fucking walked through a wall in the middle of the math building I swear to god

I am dead sober right now, it’s fucking noon on a fucking tuesday and he just walked through a fucking wall

Dude flies

I don’t think i was suppsed to see tihs one boys

Its kinda late lol like 4am but not toooooooo late

And i mean yeah mayeb i’m a teeny weeny bit itnoxcaded

But i stg fenton jst fckng flew

Jumped oof the top of Smtih Haal

And then jst knda hovred for a hot mnt or 2

then f*cking uh flew away

look i derw a baby star

No curses in ym bok, nope!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

im gona go to slep now

he fcuking flies i cant deal rn

#i posted this to ao3 on time i swear #i just kinda forgot i have a tumblr #danny phantom #phic phight #phic phight 21 #phic phight 2021

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prrreeetycal0ri3s · 3 years

Text

extreme tw. rape, vent, shitty writing about a shitty situation

last night i went to the beach. i wanted to see the beach at night. i drove a couple of hours. it was 10PM when i finally got there. It was pouring rain. i stayed in the car.

there was a couple in the car next to me. they had their interior lights on and i could see their smiles. i think they were watching tik toks. it was pouring rain.

i made a tinder. amazing, right? as if it was my first time. it was so easy. i had a match within minutes. he was not even a mile from me. it was pouring rain.

turns out , he practically lives right next to me back in our town. small world. he also just wanted a drive. in the pouring rain.

we met. we talked. we talked some more. he realized i wasn’t eating. he made me eat. i’m not kidding. he made me open my mouth and fed me like a baby. i found out that i hate honey mustard. it was still pouring rain.

i found out that he’s been stabbed. he found out that i have too. he kissed my forehead. he said he was proud of me. a total fucking stranger. he didn’t stop kissing me. soon he was between my thighs. another first. i told him to stop but he shushed me and told me to relax. i listened to the pouring rain against the windows.

what was once gentle turned angry. the sweetness in his smile souring until his eyes were no longer warm pools of melted chocolate. i no longer knew this man. i no longer knew what he was doing. i couldn’t hear the rain.

two bodies became one. far too easily. it seemed for a moment that things would be ok. everyone has darkness, maybe i just saw a flash of his. i calmed down. he praised me. he pulled me against his chest. my back pressed against his front. i thought he wanted me close. i found out that he just wanted to wrap a thick forearm around my neck until my lights went out. i still couldn’t reach for the sound of rain.

when i woke up. the scene had changed. no more lights. no more clothes. no more glasses. a camera in my face, flash on. he had facetimed someone. a girl. i heard them laughing as my ears rang in the reality instead of the rain.

we had agreed about flowers in the front room, and a small vase in the kitchen. only all that was felt was white hot pain and the dread of knowing the flowers in the back room (that shouldn’t be there) will wilt and die. no sun. no love. no care. no rain.

i fought. i fought harder than i ever have. i pushed. i cried. i begged. i scratched. it was not enough. when my sobbing became too much, he slammed my head down into the plush hotel pillow and i passed out again. i couldn’t hear the pouring rain.

when i came back from an unexpected detour, he was going harder. there wasn’t any lube. not even spit. how stupid am i? i asked him again. i begged him to slow down. i told him i’d be good. he gave me a black eye and told me to shut the fuck up. so i did. there was no more rain. i’d been abandoned.

it lasted into the morning. when he wore himself out… which took time, he held me against him with so much force i thought for sure there is no way he could be asleep. i moved. he wasn’t asleep yet. he called me annoying and told me to shut the fuck up and go to sleep until he needed more from me.

from me.

as if i’m offering him a service.

as if he’s asking.

as if there’s anything i could do about it.

he fell asleep and i fled. forgot one of my socks. my body had remnants of him everywhere. bruises. my face hurt. my neck hurt. everything hurt. i had to sit for 4 hours and drive home. the only rain being the tears on my cheeks and the blood in my leggings, that was mixed with something not entirely me. not me at all.

an intrusion.

invasion.

a foreign body.

Friday, October 8th, 3:46PM: we are having a foursome this weekend with this bitch i know in town. idk what day but be ready.

the rain is here again. only i’m the only one that experiences it. i can’t tell anyone. i tried to tell my mom and she blamed me for going on tinder.

rain. thunder. and then nothing.

there is nothing left.

#ventcore #tw r*pe #tw vent

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hoekaashi · 4 years

Text

3 am Talks - hq pt 3

a/n: almost done, two more left!! i’m not sure why, but these ones were really fun for me to do and i had to cut myself off before i wrote whole fics for each one. also thank you to my wifey for helping me with akaashi, idk why his was so hard for me to do ): pairings: bokuto x reader, akaashi x reader, ushijima x reader, tendou x reader, semi x reader warnings: some spoilers for post timeskip, minor cussing, a bit suggestive (ushi) taglist: @babydabi, @suckersuki, @bakugoustanaccount, @animoozies part 2 | part 4

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

⇾ definitely someone who talks about the first things that just pop into his mind ⇾ would literally change topics in the middle of his sentence ⇾ “did you see my last spread, I was centerfold Tsum-Tsum was not happy but when I offered to trade places with him, it made him even more mad - I just got an email saying my new knee pads have been shipped YES - babe are you hungry? Let’s go to the convenience store and get some snacks” ⇾ all over the place ⇾ but the second sleep starts to hit him, he become even softer than he already is ⇾ this baby would def be asking for validation without outright asking for it - we all know he lives to be praised but as he gets older, he stops asking for it directly ⇾ i feel like he just becomes more self-conscious after he realizes that being on a national team means that now the entire WORLD is scrutinizing him ⇾ i could keep going on about him imma stop

“I couldn’t help it, I started laughing.” Even hours later, Bokuto was trying to hold in laughter from the memory of the event. “I think that’s why he’s mad at you Kou.” Bokuto pouted. “I offered to help him up.” “Yeah, but you were also red from laughing so hard and wiping the tears from your eyes. I don’t think he appreciated that.” Bokuto got quiet and you knew what that meant. “But at the end of the day, the pictures came out amazing. You look amazing.” His smile, although soft compared to his usual grin, came back. “You think so?” You hummed. “If volleyball doesn’t work out, you could be a model. I already know one of my friends has a shrine dedicated to you. Which honestly feels weird, but hey, if it’s harmless why should I care?” you said, going off on a tangent. Bokuto brushed off the compliment that normally would’ve stroked his ego. “Nah, I don’t think I could handle the pressure.” You cocked an eyebrow. “People constantly judging you and criticizing you. You know me, I thrive with praise and…” “Become emo with criticism?” He let out a dry chuckle. “Yeah. I’m trying to change.” You reached over and caressed his cheek. “There’s a difference between growing up and mellowing out and changing who you are. You’ve done the growing up part and you’re slowly mellowing out as much as you can. But please don’t change.” “But people keep saying -” “Forget what they say. I love you the way you are now.” Bokuto’s full grin returned to his face. “I love you more.”

.・゜-: ✧ :-　-: ✧ :-゜・．

⇾ more of a listener he learned his ways from babysitting bo ⇾ he would just enjoy listening to whatever you had on your mind ⇾ one to add his own commentary and thoughts to whatever you were saying ⇾ if he were to talk though, he would reminisce ⇾ talks of bokuto and his old team, things he misses ⇾ but speaking of bokuto, he would go off on how proud he is seeing his former ace doing so well for himself now - even if he still isn’t a normal player ⇾ depending on how open he’s feeling, he might even wander into his insecurities and childhood, things he doesn’t really open up about unless he feels really close to you

“And then I booked it out of there,” you finished your story. Akaashi hummed. “What about the other girl who was still working?” “Look, she never sticks around to help me when I have extra work, I wasn’t going to stick around to help her.” He cracked a smile at your pettiness. “Wait, didn’t you have lunch with Bokuto today?” “Yes. It was nice.” You waited a moment thinking that Akaashi would add more. “That’s it? It was nice?” “Well, you know how he is. But it was nice to see him trying to change himself. Well, improve himself.” You rolled over from your back onto his chest and reached up to play with his hair. “We talked a lot about playing during high school and what the others are doing these days. Everyone is so busy now, it’s hard to keep up. I’m proud of them.” You didn’t let the smile on Akaashi’s face go unnoticed, commenting on how it always seemed to be there whenever he talked about his former ace. “Leave me alone, I’m happy with how far he’s come on his own. I can’t but smile when I think about the people I love.” “Do you smile when you think about me?” “Of course I do, you idiot,” he replied before kissing your forehead.

.・゜-: ✧ :-　-: ✧ :-゜・．

⇾ i very strongly believe he would talk about parallel universes ⇾ he would go into the existence of them but also like ‘what if there was a way for people in a parallel universe who could watch me as if my life was a movie’ ⇾ if he was in a more serious mood, like if he had a big match coming up or sum, he would talk more about his goals ⇾ the things he hopes to accomplish in the future, the outcomes he wants in life ⇾ if he was tired, it would be more like akaashi - more listening, less talking ⇾ i feel like he would always want to know what’s happening in your mind so he would ask you the most random questions or just want to listen to you talk as he drifts off to sleep

“Do you think they saw me when I tripped over Leo and dropped the dishes?” You remembered when he tripped over the cat the two of you were raising and ended up breaking a few plates. As annoyed as you were that the plates you like broke, it gave you a reason to go domestic shopping with your boyfriend. You sighed. “No Toshi. If they were watching you, it would be when you’re playing volleyball or taking a shower.” “But you’re in the shower with me sometimes. You think they saw what we were doing?” “If they did,” you started with your eyebrows raised, “I hope they enjoy it as much I do.” He chuckled. “Why when I’m playing volleyball?” “Because that’s your job now. What else would they watch you do? Play with Leo?” He didn’t reply as he looked down to the cat in his lap. Petting it, the two of you sat in silence for a while. You finally thought he dropped the topic as you started to drift to sleep. “I wonder if the people watching like me. Or what if they think I’m the villain?” You sat up in bed. “Why would you think you would be a villain in a show about volleyball?” “I don’t know. I could be a side character that no one likes.” His voice got quieter the more he talked. “Aw, Toshi. I’m sure you have many, many fans in this parallel universe who all wish to be dating you. You never intentionally hurt anyone. You tried, in your own way, to work with Oikawa, but it’s not like you sabotaged him or anything.” He nodded. “He should’ve come to Shiratorizawa. We could’ve been that impressive first year duo instead of Hinata and Kageyama.” You rubbed his shoulder. “I know, baby. You remind me of that at least once a month.”

.・゜-: ✧ :-　-: ✧ :-゜・．

⇾ he would get deep ⇾ talks about his childhood where he was bullied to where he is now ⇾ while he has his insecurities, he would still be very proud of himself and how far he’s come and everything he accomplished ⇾ on the topic of being proud, he would never pass up the opportunity to talk up his bff ushi and he would hype him up even though it’s just the two of you ⇾ he wouldn’t forget about the other third years aka his other ‘best friends’ (i use quotes bc he only has eyes for ushi lezbehonest) ⇾ the talk would shift over to you and how lucky he feels to have found you ⇾ half of the things he would say would just to get you all embarrassed and shy so he could tease you about it

You woke up an hour ago because when you went to snuggle with your boyfriend, his body was missing from bed. For the last hour, he talked to you about how much he’s grown over the years, not once stopping to let you say anything. You finally had enough of this monologue. “Satori, how much more can you possibly say? It’s been a whole ass hour. Get your ass to bed so I can snuggle with you and lemme sleep.” Sighing, he walked away from the window where he was using the light from the moon to set the mood of his speech. Getting into bed, he waited until you were satisfied and closed your eyes. “But also, Wakatoshi has gotten so far on his own. I couldn’t be more proud of my best friend.” “Satori, please. For the love of God.” “Babe, you gotta let me air this out. Good communication and all that.” “We don’t have a single problem that needs to be ‘aired out’ right now. I got work in the morning and you like the sound of your own voice.” That still didn’t stop him. “And Semi, I gotta hand it to him, the man finally learned how to dress properly. And his music isn’t that bad either so I gotta find something new to annoy him with now. Reon is still keeping his fighting spirit alive and playing volleyball too. My friends, all doing so well.” Tendou glanced down at you who had fallen asleep to his heart beats. “But you. I’m the most proud of you. I’m so lucky to have found you. Not that I needed someone in my life at the time, but all the happiness you’ve given me on top of the great things in my life. You’re an amazing person, and I appreciate the impact you’ve made in my life.”

.・゜-: ✧ :-　-: ✧ :-゜・．

⇾ before we start with semisemi, he plays bass and sings in his band but he also plays the piano and guitar (these are MY OWN hcs, none of this is canon) ⇾ that being said, he would stay up late at night playing his guitar, working on songs and quietly singing lyrics to himself ⇾ his talks would be about purpose - like why he’s on this earth similar to hinata ⇾ aha ha ha so if yall read kuroo’s, you know how i feel about scorpios ⇾ semi babe is not safe from that either ⇾ while he is bad at opening up, he also has a short temper so expect apologies for his random outbursts from him ⇾ imma touch on this more in my semi relationship hcs so i shall stop here

You had been on your computer, finishing up some work of yours that you had been procrastinating on with Semi sitting on the couch, strumming his guitar as he worked on a new song. You hadn’t been paying attention the entire time, not until you closed your laptop and sat back in your chair. “Eita, what’s that song?” Your sudden question caused him to jump a little. “Oh, uh, I didn’t realize you were listening.” “I just heard you singing. What is that?” He rubbed the nape of his neck. “I was hoping to hold out until it was finished.” You walked over to him, draping your arms around his shoulders and leaning your weight on him. You read the lyrics he had so far, your eyes growing bigger with each line. “What… is this?” “An apology.” You pulled away from him. “I know I’m not the easiest boyfriend and that when I have a problem, I should say something rather than exploding on you over the littlest thing. I didn’t really know how else to express this without messing it all up.” “I’ve known you for a long time, I wouldn’t be with you if I didn’t figure that much out.” “But still, it doesn’t mean that I should just stay this way. I should be growing with you as a person, not stuck how I am. I really do need to learn to express myself better.” You let out a small chuckle. “Like I haven’t heard that one before.” You had. Four times already. “And this will be the last. Thank you for putting up with me.” Your arms wrapped around him once again. “Next time, I expect an entire album with love songs dedicated to me. Got it?” “Well fuck, I better not mess up. I don’t have enough material for an entire love album.” You shoved him. “Hey! Maybe I will leave your sorry ass.” “I’m just kidding! Babe! Where are you going?!”

#bokuto kotaro #bokuto x reader #akaashi keiji #akaashi x reader #ushijima wakatoshi #ushijima x reader #tendou satori #tendou x reader #semi eita #semi x reader #hq #haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff

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danihow · 4 years

Text

4 a.m

Bucky x Fem!reader

Marvel Cinematic Universe

Summary: Bucky calls you at 4 am because he missed you, and you pick up.

Warnings: Language? Idk.

Word count: 1.6k

A/N: Kinda based on the song “4get” by Voilá. And this is the first English one-shot I’ve ever wrote, so feedback is well accepted in here. Enjoy!

The phone was ringing wildly from the table at the side of the bed; you’d just agreed to yourself to let it ring, it was pretty damn late at night and you got to wake up really early in the morning. At the time the phone ringed, again, you extended your hand, passing it around searching for the goddamn phone, you just wondered who the fuck was calling at that hours; they should know that anything done passed 12 pm was between god and them, not you.

When your hand finally found it you sat, pushing your messy hair out of your face. Your eyes closing when they met with the bright screen of the phone. It took you a couple of seconds and slightly opening your eyes to read the name on the screen, yet it wasn’t a number you had registered.

“Hello?” You answered with confusion and your eyes closed, still sleepy. When your voice got to Bucky’s ears a sad smile posed on her face, his mind imagining you with your messy hair, closed eyes and probably rubbing them with the palm of your hand, trying to wake up a little more, just how you were when he came home from work to the apartment you both shared. “If this is a prank call I’m blocking you” You said when you got no answer, just about to hang up.

“No, no, ‘m sorry.” He said before you tried to hung up. When you heard him you finally woke completely up, your eyes widened and your brows went up with surprise, you hadn’t talked in more than a year.

“Y’know, I would love to hate you, I- I really would Y/N.”

His whisper to the phone was sad, melancholic, making you to furrow your brows even more confused. You were about to reply defensive but he interrupted you.

“Hate your smile, your eyes, the little wrinkles in your eyes when you laugh and sound like a pig.”

“Barnes are you drunk?”

“I don’t know actually, I don’t think I can get drunk anymore.” He said sincerely to you while looking ath the glass of whiskey. “But hey, shut up a sec and listen to me. Y/N”. He shushed you while extending his index flesh finger to air, just as if you were standing in front of him. “I- I’m sorry.” He muttered while letting out a heavy sigh. “I know I messed up badly, I was stupid in every possible way.” He said, putting beside his empty liquor glass. “Goddammit, I miss you. I really miss you.”

“Buck, you should’ve thought of that before breaking up with me, a year ago.” You said, sitting in your bed with your legs crossed.

“I know; I- I know. Steve is always telling me the same shit and I’m sick of knowing he’s right.” The frustration on Bucky’s voice was noticeable, especially by you. He was trying to get drunk with some whiskey but failing. “Every morning I wake up and get reminded of my mistake.”

You stand up from your bed in silence, walking to the little balcony your apartment had, looking at the city that never slept.

Both Bucky and you knew he was going to regret this call later, but he felt like he should, no, he had to get that weight off of his shoulders.

“You remember that time I got sick and you tried to make some soup and ended up burning it? I still not know how the heck you did that.” He said after a little silence. “You came to the bedroom and your face was a poem, you didn’t knew how to tell me you burned the boiling water and we needed some knew pots.”

“Shut up Barnes, go home and sleep.” You said, not wanting to listen to him and that bullshit. You looked up trying to figure out the hour; it must be really late.

“Were we worth it?” He asked, looking by the bar’s windows to the cars passing through the street.

“Bucky…”

“No, answer me Y/N.” He told. “Were we worth it?”

A heavy sigh escaped through you lips, you leaned your head down with tiredness. “We were, yeah, at the beginning, when it was all pink.” You said. “But we were not worth it later, when all we did was argue, arguing day and night, face to face or by phone; at that point it wasn’t worth it anymore.”

“I- I want to know something…” He started, just as if he didn’t ask enough.

“Go ahead.” You said, sitting on a little bench you had, still looking at the tall buildings in front of you.

“Why you didn’t come back? Why you didn’t stopped me from ending us?”

Your heart felt heavy, you knew the answer perfectly but weren’t sure if he wanted to hear it, if you wanted to accept it. “We… We weren’t working anymore Buck, you gave up on us and I didn’t wanted to keep trying, it wasn’t worth fighting for a lost relationship where we were unhappy about 80 percent of the time. I didn’t wanted that in my life, or yours.” You said, all the bitter unhappy moments hitting back on you like a truck.

“Oh, alright.” He said and the line went on silence, Hotline Bling sounding on the background at the bar. “So… um, I think I should let you sleep, sorry.”

“Don’t worry, is not like I got to work in the morning.”

“Oh really?”

“Of course I do Bucky, is Tuesday. Not all of us go around saving the world on weird schedules.” You said rolling your eyes. “And is fucking four, you should be sleeping too.”

“Yeah, whatever, I can deal with Sam’s annoying ass in the noon.” He said, causing a smile on your face while remembering how those two got along, you missed those stupid men too.

“And how are Sam and Steve doing? Does Steve still have that keeping-up-with-pop-culture list?” You asked when the call turned a little bit more comfortable, it was probably just the really late vibe hitting in.

“Sam is annoying as always, and Steve, well… is Steve.” He said, both of you let out a light laugh at the simplicity of the answer; yet you knew exactly what he meant.

Silence installed himself again when both of your laughs vanished slowly, it was a weird-not-uncomfortable silence where you both drowned in your feelings and thoughts. You felt like it was your turn to ask questions.

“What did you felt when we were together?” You asked concerned.

Bucky’s mind stopped working for a second before answering, that was a good damn question. “It all felt like it was meant to be there, like you were the one putting my life together, you made me feel normal again. I loved you.” He thought his words enough so he wasn’t too much a weirdo. “And you?”

You kept silence, waiting for the right words to come. “When we were together I felt like all my worries were kicked out of my life, like everything was in order with me and my life and I would never let you go.” That last words were like stone in both hearts, realizing how messed up everything got later.

The weird silence came in again; it was like he didn’t leave at all.

“Oh fuck it.” You heard Bucky cursing under his breath. “Look, I’m in a bar at four in the morning, paying fourteen dollars for a drink that I don’t know what it is, they have been playing songs of this man all night long and somehow you are the only thing running through my mind all damn night. I know we messed up, like really messed up. But what if we tried again?” He concluded, spilling all what he really wanted to say to you when he first called but didn’t had the guts to say.

“You think that if it didn’t work out once it will work out later?”

“Yes, I do. Maybe it was just not the right moment for us to happen. But I need you back in my life, Y/N please, give me, us a chance again.” He pleaded to the phone.

“Buck…” And that’s it, that is all you could say at the moment, it was really late to be thinking coherently and you needed to give him an answer.

After some more seconds of silence, he understood, nodding to himself and trying to swallow the pill. “Sure, ‘m sorry, didn’t meant to disturb.” He said finally regretting the whole call. “Goodnight Y/N” He said defeated, lowering his glaze and his mouth curving downwards knowing it was time to hung up.

“No, Buck, wait.” You said when you heard him sighing. “Let’s start slowly, as friends.” “Friends don’t feel this way.” He thought while listening to you.

“What about Dunkin’ Donuts at 2 o’ clock on Friday?” You suggested, making him smile to the phone.

“Dunkin’ Donuts at two, I’ll see you there.” He sentenced, nodding his head as if you could see him.

“By the way, how you got my number?” You asked finally thinking about it.

He made weird shh noises with his mouth. “Oh no, I’m losing reception, what a shame, see you on Friday. bye!” He said childishly making you laugh and forming a dumb smile in his face.

“Night.”

“Night doll.” He said just before you finally hung up.

Both of you were left with a bright smile on your face, you just looked silently at the lights and buildings of New York as he paid for the check and got out of the bar. What a hell of a night.

#bucky x reader #bucky fanfic #marvel #marvel imagine #bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagine #james barnes #imagine #bucky barnes x reader #4am #bucky imagine #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes fic

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fuckingdeadbutroyal · 4 years

Text

Jasonette July- Soulmate AU- Part 2

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 -

“How long has this been going on?”, Damians voice was flat. An outsider would maybe even perceive it as bored, but his brothers heard him. Damian Wayne was horrified. “Five and a half days now, to be precise. We have heard of the earthquake but we didn’t know about the metas. That’s why we’re here, save the citizens and catch the-” “How did we not know of any metas in Paris? Why are we only coming to help them now? Look at this place!”, Nightwing interrupted his father, in Jasons opinion rightfully so. Paris was not what he remembered from the posters and booklets he had seen. The city could have lost WW2 and even then it would probably look better than it currently did. “That’s international matters, we’re not even meant to be here but it got out of control so I asked Red Robin to investigate. Now stop complaining and start working.”, Bruce scolded his adoptives and, leaving no room for further interruption, began giving out orders. Dick, Jason, Stephanie and Damian were on citizen-saving duty, while Tim stayed at the manor and guided them per earpiece. Bruce, Cass, Duke and Barbara were on metawatch™, meant to collect more information on the cause of destruction, aswell as the heroes Tim had mentioned in his report. One final tech-check later the formerly crowded rooftop was deserted and Paris had a new crew of support in form of bat-themed vigilantes.

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Jason felt...sad. Deeply, desperatly heartbroken. He remembers feeling that way when he first discovered his fathers lack of avenging the death of his second son. But now? Of course, the sight he was currently enduring was horrific. He was sorry it had to come to this, frustrated his hands just weren’t enough to help every Parisian in pain. But that desperation? His inhumane tiredness? The way his whole body just felt numb, as if he were in so much pain his senses just wouldn’t- no couldn’t keep up? He knew it was out of place, his brothers were okay after all. Even Dick, the most emotional one out of his siblings, was much more focused than Jason. He knew it had to do with his soulmate, at least he guessed as much. The thought of them being somewhere in this city, hiding in one of those hyper-secure shelters he had seen while rummaging through the collapsed buildings and pulling out everyone he could find...it was unnerving. Though somehow he knew that that wasn’t the case.

Upon first taking in the sight of Paris’ ruins Red Hood just knew where he was and what streets he was aiming for. He knew where the shelters were, could guide the civilians towards them and even recognized some of the buidings, even though there was nothing left but dust and dirt. Jason had a gut feeling telling him that all those things weren’t actually his knowledge. It had to be his soulmates. They knew everything he needed to know about the city, they recognized it from above. But one piece of information, which now that Timmy has properly updated them about Paris’ situation should have been absolutely unavoidable, was missing. What do those shelters look like from the inside?

Why doesn’t his soulmate know?

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Marinette was on autopilot. It has been four days since her parents death. She hasn’t slept, hasn’t eaten and hasn’t stopped moving. Chat has already collapsed twice, which ended up with her carrying him to one of their recharging-shelters in the water and spending ungodly amounts of time trying to find food and water for him aswell as holding him in place while he slept, hoping to avoid his otherwise certain death by drowning. “What a sad end it would be”, the girl thought to herself, “all that effort, all that pain, and we could just loose it all to a petty accident. Not that there is much left to save...”

She wasn’t going to admit it out loud, but Ladybug, the hero and saviour of Paris, did no longer care about winning. She didn’t think of saving those people who were praying in her name, praying to her. She didn’t believe in god and oh Kwami did she not believe in herself. What she did believe in, though, was revenge. She wanted to kill that dusty bitch, even if it was the last thing she would do. Ladybug didn’t care about the victim. She knew for herself that if she were the one who did this to her beloved City of Love, she could no longer live with herself. She wanted to kill the akuma and even though a voice deep inside her was telling her otherwise, trying to stop her and arguing that this was not what her parents would have wanted, Marinette did not care. She was going to free the petite akuma and then tear it apart with her very own teeth. And guess who’s next? “That’s right, I’m coming for your ass, Shitmoth.”

Her voice woke the boy next to her. She hasn’t even realised how her train of thought has surfaced into the real world until Plagg, who was sleeping on the blondes stomach, started grumbling in despleasure about how his pillow shouldn’t be moving. Adrien sat up, not meeting Ladybugs eyes as he took the cheese she was handing him and giving it to the suddenly awake and alert Kwami who, as always, swallowed it whole. It was kind of nice, reassuring, watching him do something Adrien has formerly perceived as highly annoying. Back then, before “The End of the World”, as he now called it, has fallen from the sky. Or rather dug it’s way out from six feet under, since the main cause of destruction were the earthquakes. Destruction. Thinking of it made Adriens gag-reflexes act up. He hated this akuma. Not only for the obvious reasons. No, Adrien hated how useless he himself felt because of it. Why should he cataclysm something while he’s trying to stop Dirtface from doing so? It was highly contraproductive and Chat could not stand it. It was like watching the person you hate most, fan-girl about something you love. Kind of ruins the experience. Adrien didn’t know if he could use his power the way he did before, ever again. The only upside to it was, that he didn’t have to recharge as often and was therefore capable of protecting his partner whenever she had to hide.

As long as he didn’t fucking collapse from exhaustion, of course.

“I fainted again, didn’t I?”, he asked, shame crawling into his every pore. He was hoping to avoid that. The first time already came at the price of his identity, though luckily Ladybug has been quick enough to hide him before anyone else could catch a glimpse. Adrien wasn’t aware of it, but once Mari managed to securely position him on one of the upside-down-boats benches, she fell into a hysterical fit of laughter. She cried, she felt as if she were about to choke, as if she were about to finally explode into all those shattered pieces her heart now consisted of. Her laughter, though, showed none of these emotions. An outsider would be afraid to come near her, her parents would not be able to recognize her, she herself would have been disturbed by that sight. If the Joker were there to see it, he would have had to give his crown to her, for her laugh was scarier than any Jokers could ever be.

----------------------

Marinette just nodded and waited for Chat to suit back up. She didn’t think of his collapses as embarassing. Instead, Ladybug was highly impressed by his skill and endurance. She knew he didn’t have the luxury of someone taking the hit for her, sleeping and eating instead of her. For so long Mari has been trying to convice herself that she realy was, just like Adrien, just like Chat, alone. She wanted to believe that her soulmate was dead, wanted to live and not give a damn about that extra source of pain, which is the only thing she has ever thought of, when it came to feeling any kind of relationship towards her bonded. How could she love what brings her torture? How could she want to love the pain? Now though, with death being all around her, no-one she could turn to and time playing against her...Marinette was relying on them. She would not be able to surive this without her soulmate sleeping instead of her, would have probably fallen to the hands of malnutrition, if it weren’t for them feeding her through that inexplicable bond between their souls.

Adrien did not have that. He was born without a soulmate, which wasn’t anything unusual. After all, more than half of the worlds population were either born without a soulmate or simply existed during a different century than their significant others.

Just like Nino, just like Chloe, just like Nathaniel, Kagami and Luka: Adrien isn’t going to stay by Ladybugs side forever. She knew that now. That was okay, though. Because now she was certain of one thing. Her soulmate was alive and, according to her intensifying tiredness as well as that energizing tingling keeping her body up and working, they were on their way to save her.

That carries a tiny problem though.

She had to avoid getting help. She wouldn’t let it happen again.

--------------------------------------------------

HI! First of: Thank you so much for the amazing feedback, I am so fucking grateful you have no idea (or you do? idk. THANK YOU ILY)

This story has gotten much longer than I had planned but tbh I love it. There’s a part 3 and probably a part 4 coming, Though I’ll post it tomorrow ‘cause I gotta write it and like, live life a bit.

Critique and any kind of feedback is very welcome!

I will most probably continue Jasonette July, this is so much more fun than I expected. So see you tomorrow \o/

Thanks for reading^^

P.S.: There's finally some proper Jasonette on the horizon☄

#jasonette #jasonette july #jasonette soulmate au #soulmate au #batfam #maribat #maribat fanfic #jason todd #jason todd x marinette dupain-cheng #marinette dupain-cheng #soulmate bruises au #ladynoir #red hood #ladybug #ml ladybug #angst

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pink-imagines · 4 years

Text

work of art

chapter 1: the creation of human life

request: could you imagine a pygmalion situation with todoroki??

a/n: idk how many parts of this i’ll make but here’s the first chapter!

warnings: nudity but not nsfw

masterlist

requesting rules

Art is an escape to many people. That included Shoto Todoroki. He liked how his mind stopped wandering whenever he’d sculpt or paint. Luckily he had the funds for all his supplies, since he was born out of a rich family full of lawyers and doctors and CEOs. At a young age he got it pressed into his head that he was going to be one of these things. As it turns out, that’s what he became too. He really didn’t do much, since his father already had so many connections. It started out as a well-paying job at a succesful company, which he was fine with... but then he somehow worked his way up to one of the best paying jobs at the company, until the last CEO retired and that’s when he became CEO of the company. With such a big responsibility he never had time for his art anymore, which was what he actually wanted to do... so he promised himself on last art-piece, and then he was done. He had to be done.

Of course it had to be a sculpture, those took the longest for him and he really wanted to enjoy the last art-piece of his life for as long as he could. Gathering the supplies was the easiest part. With the click of a button he could order everything he needed online, and money wasn’t really even a problem. When he got the supplies he just stared at them for a while... he was supposed to be doing paperwork but convinced himself that being productive on the sculpture would be just as valid as being productive with his work... but he wasn’t even being productive with the art-piece. He had no idea what to do! What could he do? Should he make something big? Where would he keep it then? His apartment as of now was very minimalistic with few colors, which wasn’t really how he liked it but it was the most professional. Maybe he could do a realistic piece and if it didn’t fit his apartment then he could just hide it somewhere.

Shoto ended up sculpting what his mind wanted to make at the moment, letting his mind wander and not caring about the task in front of him. That was the way he liked to do it, just letting his hands do the work without thinking. It was easier for him to enjoy it then. With everything else he did he had to put so much thought into it, even talking. He couldn’t say a word to his father without thinking over it at least ten times.

It started getting late once he had finished most of the body, now it just needed some more details to make it look realistic. And of course he needed a head and limbs for the woman too... but he was proud of it, and content that this would be his last piece of art. Shoto went to bed for the night, after cleaning up and washing himself off.

His time after work was spent trying to finish up the body of the scuplture so that he could later start sculpting the face. Again, he didn’t really think of what he was doing... he just did it. When he had finished sculpting the head and the arms he put the pieces together and admired his work, it had taken him days to get it here. His stomach gave off a sound that could only mean that he hadn’t eaten in the last seven hours, making him drag himself to the kitchen to make himself dinner.

When he got back to his sculpture something looked different... the sculpture looked as if small details had changed, making it more realistic... making it more familiar in some sort of way. Had he seen this woman before? Either way, he was almost done, he just had to finish painting her. Shoto worked himself to the bone trying to finish his piece, he didn’t even realize how time flew by so quickly. Suddenly it was 4 am and he realized that he was actually very tired. He put his paintbrush to his lips, forgetting that there was still a bit of red paint on it. Once he noticed he looked up at the life like sculpture, closed the space between them and kissed the sculptures cold hard lips. As soon as he realized what he was doing he pulled away from it quickly. “... what am I doing..?”, he sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose. It was late and he had been pulling a lot of all nighters these few weeks, it was probably why he was acting so weird. “I just need some rest...”, he told himself.

To be fair, Shoto had never had time for real relationships just a few hook-ups here and there. Especially before his time at the company, when he wasn’t as busy. At both his high school and university he was known around campus as a player. He never accepted the title, they were simply projects... often times he’d paint the women he was with if he could remember their face. Sometimes he’d paint right in front of them, and they’d find it so special that he was painting them... of course they didn’t know about the many other women he had painted. Of course Shoto knew that what he was doing wasn’t right, but he really didn’t want to be with any of them... none of them fueled his creative thinking enough to make more than one painting.

When he went to sleep that night he couldn’t stop thinking about the sculpture. His last art pice, finished just like that... but what about it was so familiar. Since it was his day off tomorrow he had enough time to think about it then. He set his alarm to 10 am, so that he could at least almost get enough sleep.

As soon as he started dreaming he realized that it was a dream. This happened a lot since he learned how to lucid dream as a child to escape the reality of his world for a while. Shoto easily noticed that it was a dream because of the many colors surrounding him, which was very much the opposite of his real life. But that didn’t mean that his mind couldn’t be colorful. He walked around in his dreamland with purple lakes and pink trees. The colors were more dulled down this time, like pastels, which was probably so that he could see her easily. Her. His sculpture. “Shoto!”, she said with a smile. A name fell from his lips that he couldn’t recognize at all, but it felt so natural to say. “Y/N.”, he said to his life-filled sculpture. She was wearing a sundress and a big summer hat to shield her eyes from the sun, which was now blue. “I’m glad you made it, I’ve missed you.”, she took his hand in hers, “Are you ready to go?” “Go where? What are you talking about?” “Oh... you’re not ready. I see...”, she let out a sigh, “Don’t worry, though! I’m sure you’ll be ready soon enough, Shoto.” “What do you mean?”, he asked as she started to leave, “Wait! No! Don’t go!” “You’ll be ready soon!”

He woke up in a sweat to his alarm ringing. With a sigh Shoto pressed the snooze button before laying back down in his bed. He layed there for a while until he smelled something... was that... coffee? Was someone in his apartment? What was he supposed to do? He probably wasn’t supposed to go and investigate it, but that’s what he ended up doing.

Shoto’s steps were long but slow as he approached the coffee smell. An aroma that he was very much aquainted to, he had at least five cups a day and sometimes more! The fact that his sister gave him a coffee machine for his birthday didn’t help his addiction. When he got into the kitchen he could believe his eyes... it was his sculpture... she was moving... and she was naked! For some reason it was harder to face than he would’ve thought. Yes, she was beautiful but he had never felt this creepy by watching a woman’s form before. “Ahem...”, he cleared his throat. Which might’ve been a bad idea... because instead of covering up, she simply turned around to face him. Her face looked puzzled for a second before she recognized him. “Shoto!”, she smiled. There was something familiar about that smile... like he had just seen it. The dream! Was this the woman in his dream? Wait, but he sculpted her... he was so confused... but he didn’t have much time to think since the sculpture bounced towards him and engulfed him in a hug. Her skin wasn’t hard, it was human flesh. What the fuck was happening?

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zuluoscarecho · 4 years

Text

Same Same But Different

idk what this is. I wanted to write some smut. Instead I got feelings. I started watching Scorpion a week ago and I love one Dr Tobias M. Curtis more than anything else. Set after 2X06 Tech, Drugs, and Rock ‘n Roll.

Also on AO3

Happy stopped beside his desk and it took him a second to move his head to look at her. He didn’t hurt yet but he could feel a dull ache building. Right now he just felt like he was made of lead and moving, even to look at Happy, was a Herculean effort.

She was looking down at him, head cocked to the side studying him. “In your medical opinion, is it safe for you to go home alone?”

He paused, mind going a mile a minute, observing, calculating. He clocked the tense set of her shoulders - she was nervous, the way she made her own observations of him with her eyes tracking over him - she was…worried?

“Doc. You all right?” Her voice was as gruff as usual but she peered down at him rather than walking away.

“Yeah. Yeah I…” he trailed off as his brain got stuck on the wrinkle between her brows as she frowned at him. She was worried.

Happy took a step forward and touched his arm. The frown grew deeper and her other hand twitched like she wanted to reach for some tool to fix it, fix him.

He looked down at her hand on his arm and back up at her in what felt like slow motion.

“You don’t look so good. I’m not so sure you should be alone. Where are your keys? I’ll drive.” She was as abrupt and brusque as Happy ever was but there was a slight tremble in her usually surgeon-steady hands and despite not taking her eyes off him, she wouldn’t meet his gaze.

Happy was worried about him, she was concerned about his health, she cared. This wasn’t the first time he’d been hurt during a job, definitely not the first time any of them had been hurt but this was the first time Happy had sought him out to check on him and definitely the first time she’d offered to drive him home.

Happy turned and picked his keys from amongst the mess on his desk. She tugged on his ash covered sleeve with the other hand and he followed her without thought.

He’d follow her anywhere.

Happy was silent on the drive, which was no surprise, she wasn’t particularly loquacious at the best of times, especially not after a long and stressful day. What was a surprise is that Toby was also quiet.

He felt like his world had been turned upside down with Happy being nice to him, not that she was ever mean, she just wasn’t actively nice. He felt a little fizzle of warmth slide through him at the thought. He’d known that she liked him, or else she wouldn’t have been so upset when he messed up. But in the last few weeks, they’d settled back into their old friendship, albeit slightly stilted whenever their banter threatened to slip in to flirting. He’d thought it was too late, especially with Chet on the scene, but maybe not all hope was lost.

His brain was so stuck on Happy being concerned about him, playing their interaction in the garage on loop, that he didn’t notice where they were, or more accurately where they weren’t, until they were out of the car.

“This isn’t my apartment,” Toby said, glancing around owlishly as he followed Happy down a hallway to stop in front of number 7.

Happy looked back at him and shrugged one shoulder. “Nah, I don’t know where you live. This is my place.” She paused after she opened the door and turned a scowl on him. “Don’t touch anything, okay?”

He held up his hands in surrender as she opened the door. “I would never.”

She led him into the studio apartment. It was pretty spartan except for the multitude of appliances and engine parts strewn over anything that even resembled bench space. Both stools at the breakfast bar contained tool boxes and the coffee table was strewn with motor magazines. “Bathroom’s through there if you wanna shower.” She ducked down to rifle through the drawers of what looked like an old mechanics tool box and pulled out some clothes for him.

“Wait, who do these belong to?” he asked, holding up a pair of sweatpants and an old faded jumper. “Are these Chet’s?” He was exhausted and starting to feel that ache that always came after a physically hard job, not to mention the probably bruised ribs he had from Happy’s CPR, but he had a visceral reaction to the idea of wearing Happy’s boyfriend’s clothes. So much for independence.

Happy rolled her eyes. “No. Old boyfriend from college.”

Toby nodded, satisfied that at least the guy who’d owned these clothes was long gone, and turned towards the bathroom.

“Towels are under the sink!” she called after him.

Toby nodded as he shut the door behind him. The rush of the shower water helped calm his mind and for 4 blissful minutes he didn’t think about anything more than washing the soot and sweat from his skin.

Happy was fiddling with what looked the insides of an alarm clock on her kitchen bench when he came out of the bathroom, towel over his head as he scrubbed at his wet hair.

“Now I just want to sleep for a week,” he said with a weary sigh, voice muffled from under the towel.

Happy blinked at him. She’d never seen him look so soft and vulnerable. He looked dead on his feet and his usually considering gaze was almost blank from exhaustion.

All the times he’d spouted off about his feelings for her, playing at being sincere, and she did believe his feelings were real, but there was always some sort of agenda in the way he spoke to her, to anyone, some facade or wall between him and whatever could hurt him.

She could relate, but it made seeing him like this, his cheeks flushed from the shower and his hair sticking up in all directions rather than flattened by his hat, feel like she was seeing another side of him she’d never even gotten a peek at before.

“Uh, you sleep on the left, I like to sleep on the right.” Happy ducked down to dig out pyjamas for herself so she didn’t see the raised eyebrow or following shrug as he crawled into the left side of the bed without question.

“Anything I need to worry about with you tonight?” she asked turning back to him. “You know, medically?”

Toby’s eyes were closed when he replied and he looked almost asleep already with one arm tucked up behind his head. “No. As long as my heart doesn’t stop I’ll live.”

“Okay. I guess I’ll listen out for it.” With that she turned and headed into the bathroom herself and Toby was asleep before he even heard the shower turn on.

When Happy came back from the bathroom, Toby hadn’t moved. She stood beside the bed as she towel dried her hair, too tired and too concerned about waking Toby to use the hair dryer. She considered how on earth she was supposed to check if his heart stopped beating in his sleep.

She hung the towel up in the bathroom and carefully slid into bed beside him. She slowly moved closer to him and carefully lay her head on his chest, damp hair splaying out behind her. She could hear the steady thump-thump of his heart beat beneath her cheek and she felt herself release the tension she hadn’t even realised she’d been holding on to.

Ever since Walter had flicked that switch and she’d watched the oxygen levels drop, and Toby with them, she’d felt on edge, a tightness crawling across her skin. Even literally breathing life back into him hadn’t made the feeling go away but she could feel it ease now with every beat of his heart beneath her head.

When Toby woke up it was still dark. He could see brightness from the streetlights outside leaking in around the drawn curtains. His whole body hurt, but especially his head which is why it took him a minute to realise the pressure on his chest wasn’t the probably fractured ribs from Happy’s CPR but Happy herself curled up against him.

He blinked down at her head, dark hair spilling out behind her before he decided to ignore whatever this was and go back to sleep.

The next time Toby woke up he was alone but he could hear quiet movement and he dragged himself out of bed and into the bathroom before finding Happy in the kitchen.

She was supervising an old Happy-style refurbished mixmaster that was slowly stirring a bowl with a wooden spoon.

Toby ran a hand through his hair, feeling it stick up and reminding him why he always wore a hat. “Hey, uh, thanks for driving me back here and letting me stay last night. I probably just would’ve crashed at the garage and we all know that couch is older than dirt. Anyway, I’ll go home and get out of your hair.”

“You don’t have to go. I’m making pancakes. You should probably eat something anyway.”

“Happy…” Toby trailed off, eyebrows showing his confusion. “Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate it, but what’s going on? You bring me back here, let me sleep in your bed, I wake up in the middle of the night with you asleep on my chest - which admittedly could have just been a really good dream - and now you’re making pancakes? This is…not like you.”

“Iwaslisteningtoyourheartbeat,” she mumbled to the pancake mixture.

“What?”

Happy huffed and turned to glare at him without saying a word.

“Why are you glaring at me?” he asked in bewilderment.

“I was lying on your chest because I was listening to your heart beat!”

Toby still looked confused. “Okay?”

“You know, so you wouldn’t die,” she said turning back to her pancakes. She turned off the mixer, getting out a frying pan to heat. “You almost died yesterday, or you did die, I don’t even know.”

Toby shrugged nonchalantly, like it was something that happened all the time. Near death experiences hadn’t actually been super common for any of them up until a few years ago. Unless you counted the number of daring escapes Toby had made from people he’d owed substantial amounts of money to. “Technically dead, but not brain dead seeing as you resuscitated me in time.”

“Whatever. I just wanted to know you’re okay.”

“I am okay,” Toby said slowly. “And we all almost died yesterday. You were stuck in the pump room that was on fire, Sly was stuck with the kids, also on fire, and Walter was…Walter.” Toby shrugged as if that explained Walter and to be perfectly honest it kind of did.

“It’s not the same,” she said. She turned to face him and looked at him the way she always did when she couldn’t find the right words but knew he’d find them for her. “You know it’s not the same.”

Toby shook his head and moved to stand in front of her. “No, I don’t know that it’s not the same. You froze me out, you said we were just friends, colleagues. It is the same, Happy.”

Happy bit her lip and looked up at him. “It’s not the same.”

Toby let out a breath and nodded at her, or himself. “Okay then. I’ll stay for breakfast.”

#quintis #quintis fic #toby curtis x happy quinn #toby x happy #toby curtis #happy quinn #scorpion #scorpion fic #my fic

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princess-havok · 3 years

Text

Love Fast Los Angeles Read-Through: Preface

This book has 42 chapters + a preface, so I've decided to make each post 6 chapters and then do the preface separately. I want to start with just the preface because it is eight pages long but so much happens, it's like getting whiplash every five seconds. Let's do it.

First of all, it's a prologue, Davey, not a preface, a preface is more of an introduction while this is like, things that happen before the real story starts, or really just an explanation for why Star isn't around and why Alvin goes to LA.

Anyway, we open with Alvin doing a photoshoot on the beach and if I could summarize the first page of this book in a single image it would be this:

We've got narration like "Whatevs. It's cool. I've already got a memory stick full of sick shit" and nobody talks like that!

I'm not 100% clear at this point how much time has passed between Pop Kids and this book (iirc it might be more specific later but I don't remember right now) but Alvin and Star, the grown-ass woman who straight up groomed him when he was 15 and nobody cared, are still together and living in San Francisco in an old Victorian, aka my dream life. But then, in the second paragraph of this entire book, he comes home to find her cheating on him, he hits the guy with his motorcycle helmet knocking out a tooth (which he takes???) and she kicks him out.

There's some nice references in this bit, like that Star is a masseuse and the room in the house where she works is known as the Zen Room (ayyyyy!), and as he's packing his clothes to leave he sprays them with her Rose 31 perfume. This book, having come out in 2017, makes sense to have been written during the writing of the Dreamcar record and I appreciate that little nod.

So Al leaves, and we're still only 4 pages into this book and we've changed location again, going to the "Tranny Shack" where he also works shooting the drag shows. And I am truly, wildly uncomfortable with this paragraph:

"A Nubian goddess enters her spotlight. Draped in the pelts of plush animals, Lucky Day caresses her luminous microphone. The audience hushes. She begins to sing "Circle of Life" and I lose it. Spotting me weeping behind my lens, the queen of the jungle steps from the stage through the crowd and in her soothing Song of The South voice, says, "This is your favorite number. Why ya cryin' sugar?" (11)

Look I'm willing to give Davey the benefit of the doubt and suggest that Lucky Day may be based on an actual drag queen he knows and this is all harmless, but is it weird! The use of "Nubian," while a valid name of an indigenous group in Africa, is also used by weird fetishists who think black women are ~exotic. Having your black drag queen character sing a song from the Lion King dressed in fake fur? And probably worst of all, the deeply stereotypical speech pattern and comparing her voice to Song of the South. Couldn't just say she had a southern accent, you had to go with probably the most obscure Disney movie, which is obscure because it's so racist even Disney won't re-release it. Song of the South has a weird cult following of racists who praise it and claim to love it as pushback against what they feel is Disney being too woke by like... having a single black princess or acknowledging that maybe a gay person might have existed in the periphery of one of their main characters. That's not Davey's fault of course, but the association is there and also it is really super weird to use that movie as a comparison! Hardly anyone has seen it! I'm uncomfy.

So anyway, Al ends up staying with Lucky Day for literal weeks. We're five pages in and there's a time jump. In the space of a paragraph on page 12 (the preface started on page 8) Al moves in, becomes depressed enough that he sleeps all day, doesn't shower and loses his job, and starts chain-smoking until Lucky can't take it anymore, Febrezes him while he's asleep, makes him shower and eat breakfast.

She makes him grits for breakfast and I don't think Davey knows what grits are, except that people from the South like them because he describes them being cooked in an iron pan which I'm like 90% sure is not how you make grits? Idk I'm not southern and also I find grits disgusting. But you don't make them in a frying pan!

In the space of another paragraph starting on page 13, Al gets a tattoo, starts working out, feels better about himself and gets a new job, so... a second time jump in two pages and we're not even 10 pages into the book. The pacing here is insane.

Lucky flies down to SoCal to hook up with an online fling and then comes back, having been assaulted. It turns out her online fling is a famous pop star, Jamie Shannon (let's take bets who he's based on!), and Al vows to wreck him. So he's off to LA, and this absolutely batshit insane preface comes to an end.

As I was writing this recap my cat came and closed the book on me and then stood on it so I think that's a good place to stop this first entry. I expect the pace to chill the fuck out when we get into the actual story so maybe I won't be writing so much about eight pages. EIGHT.

Aren't we glad we're all on this journey together.

#love fast los angeles #LFLA #davey havok #jenn reads lfla

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iateyourdoggo-part2 · 3 years

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Chapter 2 of my little story :D

(a/n: so i made another chapter and idk what to call this story and pls help me ;-; and pls enjoy the story!)

tw: caps (some)

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"How were the dates my dear?" Saika's mother asked.

"I am most kindly mother, but not one is worth my time." Saika replied, "Yet I would love to interact with Aori Hatsuki more."

"Very well. I allow this, BUT, if your refuse to to marry any man from the next 4 families, there will be a punishment."

Saika gulped at her threat and went to her room. She heard a small sound come from her phone. It was Aori. She actually was relieved because she needed him most at the time.

hiya saika!

Hello Aori! :D

watcha doin?

Nothing much.

bet ya thinking about that kinako girl TwT

Haha you got me! She is taking up my mind too much. <3

awww but how will ur stupid mother find out

Will you keep this a secret between us?

ofc!

She said that if I refuse to marry any wealthy man from the next 4 families, I will receive a punishment. :(

great >:( y not give her 'greatest mother of the year' award while we're at it

Saika giggled at Aori's comment and turned off her phone. She fell asleep later and all she saw in her dreams was Kinako and her together.

When Saika woke, she was upset her dream wasn't real and was happy about the dream at the same time. She walked, back straight and not slouched, to the kitchen to see a note.

My dearest Saika,

I apologize but, I will be gone for 3 weeks and all the staff are on break while I am gone. You must take care of the house as a graceful girl.

Kind regards,

Your Mother.

Saika just rolled her eyes and was excited to have the house to herself. First thing, she called Aori. They spent a bunch of time together talking about their love lives. After a while, they went to the park where they became friends and once again, Kinako and Saika encountered each other again.

"Oh! Saika-chan!" Kinako called out.

"S-Saika-chan?" Saika whispered.

"It's just my little nickname for you!"

Saika got flustered a bit too much and Kinako blushed a bit by Saika's reaction.

"Oh um..." Aori said, "I am TOOOOOTALLY gonna be late for the thing I had to do!"

He nudged Saika a bit and Saika gave him a look that said 'DON'T. YOU. DARE.' He snickered and ran back down the path they came from and Saika and Kinako were left alone. Saika sat down next to Kinako on the bench Kinako was on.

"What do you want to do now, Saika-chan?" Kinako asked beaming.

'Her smile is so adorable! Her lips looks very soft too... Wait! What am I thinking! She might not like me back either...' Saika thought.

"Would you like some ice-cream?" Saika asked, "I can pay."

Kinako's eyes sparkled when ice cream was suggested. She grabbed Saika's hand and ran to an ice-cream store. Saika was now very flustered. When the two reached the store, Saika ordered a chocolate ice-cream cone and Kinako bought... 3 different ice-creams. TUBS of ice-cream.

Kinako ate one whole tub before Saika even finished her ice-cream. Saika was shocked by her. She also found it cute, too!

"How are your teeth not sensitive?" Saika asked.

"I don't know." Kinako replied feeling a bit shy, "It probably runs in my family because we all don't have sensitive teeth."

Kinako picked up her spoon again and got a small bit of mango flavoured ice-cream and put it in Saika's face.

"Try some!"

Saika's eyes widened and saw that Kinako was really desperate for her to try it. Saika opened her mouth and ate the ice-cream. 'This is amazing!' Saika thought to herself. Based on her expression, Kinako knew she loved it. After a while of hanging out with each other, they both swapped numbers and left. And out of nowhere just before Saika was leaving, she heard a small rustle. She turned around and something came out of a bush swiftly.

"EEEEEAHHHHH!" Saika screamed.

"Lady! It's just me!" Aori quickly cried.

Saika started to playfully hit Aori and had a chuckled response.

"Ehehe.. I have some photos to add to my collection board of Sainako!" Aori continued.

"Sainako? What's Sainako? And can I see the photos?" Saika questioned.

When Aori showed her the photoes he took, Saika's eyes turned into white circles.

"Eh..... EHHHHHH?!?!?!?!?!"

Pictures of Saika and Kinako were in front of her. Picture after picture was them together.

"WHAT IS THIS? WERE YOU SPYING ON US? HUUUHHHH??? ANSWER ME! DELETE ITTT!!!" Saika started yelling, "Wait if these are for your Sainako wall then... Sainako means..."

"Saika x Kinako~!" Aori started singing.

Saika yelled at him more and was mad until they got home. Aori hung out with her the rest of the night at Saika's house and stayed over in the guest room. Saika fell asleep with the memories in her head. 'Sainako a cute ship name. If only Aori told me tho...' Saika thought once more before drifting off to sleep.

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Thank you for reading once again! And I hope u enjoyed this story!

Previous << Chapter 2 >> Next

#tw slight caps #Saika #Kinako #Aori #Sainako #Saika x Kinako

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gaychoices-stories-you-pay · 4 years

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Theory: Annalisa's Not Awake And Neither Are We

I'm probably way off the mark here but there are some things that just really bothered me in this chapter and they can't just be a coincidence (or maybe they are and I need to sleep, but whatever) and I need to organize my thoughts, so...here they are.

1. How many times did Vasco tell us we HAD to stay awake? Like, at least 2, right? And the text was a different color? So then why did he insist on us getting some rest and let us go to sleep (for hours??) if, as he said, sleeping accelerates the effects of the Cantarella? At first, I shrugged it off because (if you don't do the Oracle tea party diamond scene) Vasco says it's ok to sleep once the antidote is in our system but...is it really? I mean, that acid-trip-adjacent thing with our fox/wolf/bear cub and the oracles happened after ingesting that dose of antidote, so clearly the symptoms are still very much present, so wouldn't sleeping still accelerate them? Or am I just overanalyzing? It just seems odd that they would so heavily emphasize not being able to sleep if they were gonna make it safe to sleep a couple scenes later.

2. Idk about Hunter because I haven't don't a playthrough with them yet, but at least for Kayden (I'm just gonna assume it's the same for both), when they come to our balcony, they never actually tell us what brought them there, do they? They just kinda show up and the MC kinda steers the beginning of the conversation. And like, if you choose the last dialogue option for the first choice on the balcony (something like "I dreamed you'd come"), Kayden (again, idk about Hunter) says something like "And how do you know you aren’t still dreaming?" and then that's that. They never say anything like "hey I just wanted to check on you" or "I came to profess my undying love" they kinda just roll with it after MC says I love you/kiss me/strip. And yes, I know MC thought it was a hallucination and then decided it wasn't, but what if her symptoms just got so much worse after sleeping that she can't tell the difference between hallucination and reality anymore because the hallucinations have gotten so much stronger? Or she never woke up at all, and she's having a hyper-realistic dream?

3. Which leads to number three. After we "go back to sleep" yet again, Vasco barges in and says he has the cure, but there's not a single dialogue or narration box that says that we actually used the cure. Vasco says he's got the cure, we smile, and then suddenly we're waking up again, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed with a narration box saying the cure has worked? How would we actually know if it worked? When did we go back to sleep? Why are we waking up alone? Especially since, if you don't do Kayden's diamond seen, they say they'll come to see MC when the sun rises?

4. Annalisa was (most likely) poisoned by a different type of poison than us. Now, because Annalisa said in chapter 1 that she had to meet with someone potentially important before meeting with Queen Kendra and we never found out who it was, there is a chance that person was Renza and that Renza slowly poisoned her with the Cantarella like she did to us and it was activated In the throne room, but for right now, I'm going to assume that's not the case and that Annalisa was poisoned with a FAST-ACTING poison in the throne room, unlike Cantarella, which we know to be slow-acting. Now, if this is in fact the case, then what are the chances that Vasco would have been able to create an antidote for us and for whatever poison Annalisa was suffering from using only our antidote?

5. Not only did we "wake up" alone, but Annalisa came in the room alone. Idk, it just seems too...casual for the situation. How much time has passed exactly since the masquerade ball? Because it really rubs me the wrong way that Vasco would somehow wake up Annalisa and then she'd be like "sweet, thanks bro" and just stroll into our room without anyone else (Vasco, Kayden, Hunter, even our pet?) coming with her either to make sure she's alright walking by herself (again idk how long it's been but muscle atrophy in coma patients is a legit thing) OR to check on us?

Idk, the end of that chapter just seemed to casual and too convenient for there not to be something going on.

Long story short my theory is this: because MC slept while still under the effects of the Cantarella, she's slipped into a coma-like state, similar to Annalisa, and now we're on the same...plane, I guess? as Annalisa, and the beginning of the next chapter is gonna be her being like, "so they got you, too, huh?"

Also The Oracle of the Present implied there will be another betrayal, so my money's on either Vasco or (if she actually is awake and this whole post was BS) Annalisa.

Idk, I’m probably majorly overanalyzing since this is pb, but...

#playchoices #the royal masquerade #kayden vescovi #choices stories you play #hunter fierro #trm #long post #okay listen this is way longer than I meant it to be #but i CAN'T STOP thinking about it #either we're not awake yet #or we're being betrayed again already #or both #or I'm just majorly overthinking this #considering this is pb we're talking about that's very possible #let me know what y'all think #hoooo boy #delete later probably #I haven't slept in 2 days because of work can y'all tell?

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spikemuth-post · 4 years

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12 Baby Toxels ~Piers x Reader~

“Piers-” “Well, what was I supposed to do? Leave them!?” He defended, gesturing to the living room of your apartment. Many baby Toxels crawled around, cooing, ripping magazines and exploring their new home. The adorable tornado had already made a mess of things and it all started because Piers went to buy milk. Piers walked by a woman who found a dozen eggs in her yard and simply couldn’t keep the babies. He offered to find them homes but found himself attached to every single one of them. Naturally, he brought them home. It was have to keep a stoic face with so many drooling Toxels crawling and climbing on your furniture. “Babe, They need a home.” “We can’t take care of this many.” “I mean... we could try.” As you argued a little purple creature wandered over, starting to climb Piers’s leg. He picked it up, rocking the baby in his arms. You tried to remain focused on Piers so that your heart wouldn’t melt. “They’re just adorable, ain’t they?” “Where are they going to sleep? I don’t want them in Pokeballs this young.” “Well... I think our bed is big enough for us all- and Before you say no, look at him!” He held out the Toxel in his arms. It drooled, wiggling against his grip and itching to continue exploring your apartment. You took it, just staring at the little creature. You finally sighed before putting it on the ground and letting it play with the others. “Fine, Piers.”

---

“1, 2, 3, 4... I think we warmed all the bottles, Piers.” “Nah, that’s 11. We need one more.” “On it.” You grabbed an empty bottle from the shopping bag and headed to the fridge. As you did, Piers handed a bottle to every single Toxel. On the last one, he picked him up, cradling him and rejoining you in the kitchen. Once he got there you handed him a bottle, which he handed to the baby in his arms. “That’s all of them. Once they’re full they should go down for a nap.” “I don’t know if I can handle another few weeks of this.” “It will get easier. Once they’re all bigger you’ll miss being a mommy.” Piers joked, poking your cheek. You smiled but your amusement was short lived as crying burst from the living room. You and Piers were in there in seconds. 2 of them were crying and a Toxel off on his own was drinking both of their bottles at once. “...Guess we know which ones are Amplified.” Piers shrugged, “I’ll make you two new bottles-” “You’re just going to let him get away with that?” “It’s in his nature to be a little bully. As we learn their nature we should just separate them.” He said, not even looking back as he went to make new bottles. You looked at the lot, concerned for the more timid ones. “We should start naming them, so we can tell them apart. You care for the Low Key’s, I’ll take Amplified.” “Can you... handle that?” You remarked nervously, tapping your fingers together and switching your gaze between your boyfriend and the Toxels. “That’s a lot of aggressive personalities to handle...” “I raised an Amplified Toxel,” He boasted, “What kind of trainer would I be if I couldn’t raise a few more?”

---

This was a terrible idea. Once sorted, Piers ended up with 4 of the 12 Toxels. He assumed he could handle it but was obviously wrong. They were breaking everything in sight and Piers was at his wit's end. He didn’t even hear the knock at the door but you did, opening it and letting in Melony. The ice leader greeted you and looked over at Piers and decided he was busy enough. “Thank you so much for this, Melony.” “Oh, It’s no trouble!” Melony squealed. She handed you a folded mesh square. “Now, this playpen fit all of my human kids so it can definitely hold 12 baby pokemon!” “Oh, it will only hold 8 of them. Piers is in charge of the other 4!” “...He doesn’t look like he’s doing very well... “She made sure to whisper that to you, not wanting to insult Piers. He didn’t notice anyway. He was frantically searching for a missing Toxel, not knowing that it was behind him, hanging from his hair. Melony pat your shoulder in a show of sympathy. “...You two are using protection right?” “Melony!” “I’m just saying. Piers is a great guy... he just might not be ready to be a dad.”

----

You lightly strummed a cute ukelele, the babies in front of you swaying lightly to the music. You sang to them in a boppy tone, making them happy. In the middle of your song a dangerous noise exploded from the next room. “ARE YOU READY TO BLOW OUT THE SPEAKERS?!” The room practically shook as the guitar solo started and your Toxels grew scared and huddled together. You quickly kissed all their heads and excused yourself as you stormed to your bedroom where Piers was. That sick rift was clearly coming from your boyfriend's guitar. The first thing you saw when you entered was his Toxels headbanging and Piers shredding that guitar like you’ve never seen before... okay you have, You live with him after all. You put your hands on your hips, waiting for him to stop feeling the music and notice you. He was into it, his eyes closed and playing his heart out. “...Piers?” Nothing. He even started banging his head and the Toxel’s started raving. “Piers!” “Huh?” He stopped on a dime, the Toxel’s whining in the process. “Oh Babe, What’s up?” “I’m trying to put the babies to sleep!” “So am I,” He gestured to the pokemon, “I’ve got the rowdy ones, remember?” “Try and keep it down a bit-” “What fun is that?” His Toxels began to hiss at you and you flicked the closest one in the nose. It was discouraged and backed down immediately. “How the hell did you do that? Mica has been hissing all day!” “It’s a dominance thing. I don’t let anything control me.” Your boyfriend raised a brow at you, making you falter for a second. “Except you-” “I was about to say-” “Shut up, Piers.”

---

You swaddled all of your Toxels and placed them in the playpen to sleep. Once Piers got his to sleep, he wrapped them up and put them in the bed between where you both sleep. Since it was only 4, you allowed it. You both went to sleep without any difficulty... until they started kicking. A little Toxel started tossing and turning, kicking in his sleep. His little foot jabbed his brother’s face. He woke up, kicking the toxel he thought was responsible but he was wrong and woke his sister. That Toxel didn’t bother to open her eyes and simply kicked first, kicking Piers right in the groin. He sat upright, holding his crotch and cursing loud enough to wake probably the whole neighborhood “Fuckin Hell-” “Piers, Are you okay?” You responded quick, but very groggy. “I-Is everything okay? Are the babies okay?” “Give me a minute, I’m recoverin’.” The Toxel that kicked him was now awake, cooing in her loose blanket and looking up at you. You picked her up, cradling her and telling her that Piers probably forgives her.

---- To Be continued, 12 Baby Toxels Part 2... eventually. If people like it, idk

#pokemon sword and shield #pokémon #piers gymleader #piers #piers x reader #swsh #headcanon #headcannons #headcannon #scenario #scenarios #imagines #imagine

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