#I feel like a lot of a people have approached this lil 'revelation' a bit too... idk mechanistically? for my personal taste | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cinnaminsvga · 3 years

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Undercover (M)

→ summary: the company banquets that your family loves to host are often drearier than you would like them to be. lucky for you, your bodyguards have the perfect solution: why don’t you play a little game with them?

the only rule? you must keep quiet at all costs.

→ pairing: vamp!jungkook x reader x siren!seokjin → genre: bodyguard!au, supernatural, smut → warnings: dom!jin, switch!kook, sub!reader, remote vibrator, rough public sex, fingering, orgasm denial, multiple orgasms, blood-drinking, hypnotization, jin is kinda sadistic, basically pwp ;_; → words: 5.4K → a/n: this is for the holiday fic exchange that was held on @btsghostiewritersnet!! my fic is dedicated to ms @jincherie (aka the loml and also the recipient of 1/3 of the fics i’ve written this year??) who requested this prompt. i’m not really good with poly or smut fics, but i tried my best??? it ended up being a lil more jk centric than i anticipated but HHHH IDK I JUST HOPE YOU LIKE THIS EVEN A TEENY BIT ;o; anyway... happy holidays everyone!!

You can feel their eyes on you.

Except that isn’t much of a revelation—they are always watchful of you, after all. Your father pays a hefty enough salary that they would risk their lives to keep you safe, so it isn’t much of a surprise to know that they are lurking at the sides, keeping distant and close all at once.

This time, however, is different. You know for a fact that it is different. There is a subtle shift in the air, something tangible enough that you can almost touch it, taste it. You know that if you glance back at them, you will find two pairs of eyes, watching and waiting for… something.

That fact alone is enough to keep the goosebumps on your arms from subsiding. You feel like a canister just waiting to burst, a small disturbance enough to get you to erupt into flames and burn every last inch of propriety left in your being. Tonight, they are here to ruin you.

“Why are you acting so damn fidgety? Stand still,” your brother huffs after a while, pinching you lightly in the side. It breaks you from your reverie, causing you to jolt away with wide eyes.

“W-what?” you ask breathlessly. You wipe your clammy hands across your expensive dress, leaving wrinkles in their wake. “Sorry. I just… had a lot of coffee before coming here, is all. I needed the wake-me-up.”

He watches you for a moment, raising an eyebrow at your odd behavior. You can tell that he’s suspicious, but he inevitably shrugs it off, too unbothered to care. Like you, it takes a whole deal to get Yoongi excited about anything, and having a jumpy sister is far from reaching his quota. “Whatever. Just don’t cause a scene, alright? These events might be boring as hell, but dad has a bunch of important people here tonight, so you better get your shit together.”

You snort. “Right. Like when does he not invite important people to these parties?”

Yoongi rolls his eyes. “You know what I mean. Just behave, alright? I’m not covering for you if you piss someone off.”

“Wouldn’t have dreamed of asking,” you mutter. Little does he know, you are already planning on behaving tonight, anyway. That is the name of the game, after all.

On a makeshift stage at the head of the ballroom, your father has just finished giving his opening remarks, thanking all his esteemed guests for making it to tonight’s banquet. Polite applause follows soon after, the clamor loud enough to mask the way you inhale sharply in surprise. Your back straightens imperceptibly, your body going rigid as if you had been struck by lightning. To your left, your brother is none the wiser to your panic, his attention glued to his phone.

When the clapping breaks, you nearly speak your prayers aloud when the ambush on your senses suddenly stops as well. You take one, two calming breaths, your core throbbing needily as you await the second wave to hit. Disappointed when nothing comes, you smooth your dress down, fighting the urge to look around to see if anyone was watching.

Legs slightly weaker and breath a little shakier, you walk among the throngs of people as they make their way to their seats, getting ready for dinner to be served. Instead of heading to where your family’s table would be located, you change direction halfway and walk towards the back. Yoongi does not comment, just nodding back at you and going the other way as well. This is normal etiquette for both of you, anyway—your father has always expected the two of you to wander during these parties, greeting guests and socializing with them as proper hosts should.

Except that isn’t on your agenda for tonight. Right now, you have a game to play, and you don’t intend on losing your focus to anything else.

It does not take you long to find who you are looking for. Just like he promised, Jungkook is standing close to the east entrance, standing stock still against the wall in his designer black suit. When he notices you approach, his stern demeanor softens, a small smile gracing his Adonis-like features. It is nothing more than a quirk of his lips, but it is enough for a flash of something sharp to catch your eye. It disappears before you can even blink, but you know that what you had seen is far from a figment of your imagination.

To an outsider, Jungkook looks as intimidating as any regular bodyguard should be: tall and muscular, coupled with a dangerous gaze that could pierce diamond. He certainly works like one too, as your father would have never hired him if he wasn’t 100% sure that Jungkook was up to his lofty standards.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that there is something else that sets Jungkook apart if you just looked close enough. Even from a few feet apart, you can see the redness lining his irises, the deathly pallor of his skin, the sallowness of his cheeks. As you get closer, you notice other things too, like how his hands tremble against his sides and how his breathing has gotten shallow.

Everything about him screams vampire—a starving one, at that.

“How long has it been now?” you murmur, gently nudging your shoulder against his. You keep close to him, feeling yourself relax at the mere scent of him. Jungkook always somehow manages to smell good; you suppose that’s a given since you don’t think he’s even capable of sweating.

“Since the party started?” he asks.

“No, silly. How long has it been since you last fed?”

“Three days, seventeen hours, and twenty-one minutes, ma’am. But who’s counting?” he wheezes, offering you a strained smile. “Is it that obvious?”

“Not really, but I know you,” you reply. A little too well, in fact. “Seokjin hasn’t even allowed you a snack? Even once?”

Jungkook coughs out a laugh, amused. “You and I both know that hyung wouldn’t be that merciful. He did say that if I behave today, then maybe…” he trails off. You don’t miss the way he stares longingly at you, thinly veiled desire rolling off him in waves.

You feel the blood rushing up to your face, turning away from him in embarrassment. You have to remind yourself not to rub your neck, lest the make-up covering your fading scar give away your dirty little secret. “I’m sorry, by the way. I kind of did this to both of us, huh?”

Jungkook chuckles, snaking an arm around your waist. You shoot him a warning glare, but you both know he only dares to get comfortable with you when he’s sure no one is watching. Besides, it’s always been hard for you to get mad at the boy, not when he has always been so sweet with you.

“No, it’s fine. We all agreed to this when you proposed it. Besides, neither hyung nor I are going to risk our health when your safety is on the line. It’s not that bad, I promise.”

“If you’re sure,” you say, glancing at him doubtfully. You have never seen Jungkook quite so… unhinged before, as if he’s just a step away from teetering off the edge. It scares you just as much as it arouses you, but you make sure to keep that to yourself. “I honestly didn’t think Seokjin would be this ruthless.”

Jungkook snorts. “I’ve known him for a long time, Y/N. Trust me when I say that he is definitely going easy on us, especially you.”

“If this is easy, I’m afraid to know how he’s like when he goes all out then,” you say, but the thought of Seokjin becoming even more merciless than usual sends an excited shiver down your spine.

“How about you?” Jungkook asks. “Are you doing okay with the, um, you know?” He flushes, still shy to even say it aloud even after all the things the two of you have done together.

You giggle, unable to resist the urge to tease him. “You tell me, Koo. You can smell me, can’t you?” You lean closer, looking at him through your lashes. “You could probably smell from across the ballroom, especially with how hungry you are… My poor baby,” you coo. You have your chest pressed against his, your low neckline leaving nothing to the imagination. And yet, his gaze is fixed elsewhere, red eyes following the way your tongue darts out to lick your lips.

It’s a rhetorical question; you know he can smell you. The remote vibrator in your underwear has been on the lowest setting ever since the night started. The vibrations are persistent enough to keep you constantly aroused, but it’s never enough to give you what you really want.

And just when you think you’ve gotten used to the sensation, Seokjin will spike it up occasionally, causing your composure to crack ever so slightly. You’re pretty sure he hasn’t turned it on to the highest setting yet, but judging from how the dampness of your underwear has seeped past your thighs, you aren’t sure if you’d be able to keep your cool if he did.

“Do I smell good, Koo? I know you said my blood tastes sweetest when I’m like this, right?” you whisper, trailing a finger down his chest. He does not reply, his nostrils flaring as he struggles to control his breathing. He has a dangerous edge in his expression, a simmering darkness just begging to be released. It’s the kind of lust that sweet and lovely Jungkook hardly ever has the capability of showcasing, except during moments like these, when he is at his hungriest and most desperate.

“I’m not going to lose the game this early on,” he says, voice quiet. There is danger in still waters, you recall your mother telling you when you were younger, and you find that there is truth behind her words after all. Jungkook may sound calm, but the edge in his tone is laced with meaning.

“No fun,” you laugh.

As if on cue, your own dose of karma hits you when Seokjin decides to turn the vibrator up to its maximum setting. “Shit,” you gasp, barely holding back your moans. You nearly double over, mostly from shock, not expecting the intensity of the vibrations. You feel your legs turn to jelly, your body heating up and breaking out into a sweat. You have to lean against Jungkook for support, your grip on his biceps so tight that you’re afraid that you might have torn through the fabric. If he had been human, you might have worried that you were hurting him.

Jungkook stumbles slightly against your weight, surprising the both of you as he’s normally as sturdy as a brick wall. Your worry for Jungkook supersedes the lust addling your brain long enough to wonder if his blood fast is starting to affect him.

“S-sorry, Koo. Are you okay? Are you getting dizzy from hunger?” you ask, your words stilted and breathy as you try to ignore the pleasure coursing through your veins. “We can go somewhere and—fuckfuckfuck—”

You are unable to finish your sentence, having to muffle your moans by biting into his shoulder. You’re shaking and panting, the relentless assault on your clit causing a fresh wave of arousal to drip down your cunt and ruin your panties even further. The coil inside of you is close to snapping, your long-awaited climax just inches away. You have half a mind to reach under your dress and chase after your high, but the sensible part of you reminds you that you are still at a public event—your father’s public event, to be exact. So instead, you wrap your arms around Jungkook to restrain yourself, looking to all the world as if you were just two lovers in an embrace.

Just as you’re about to finish, the vibrator shuts off completely, snatching away any hopes of you coming. You want to scream in frustration, a few tears threatening to fall as you squeeze your eyes tightly. Eventually, you release your death grip on Jungkook, keeping your head bowed to hide the way you’re still short for breath. When you feel less hazy, you take a shaky step away from him while muttering apologies to Jungkook.

“S-sorry about that. So much for Seokjin going easy on me, huh? I really didn’t expect him to pull a fast one on me like that—”

When Jungkook doesn’t respond, you turn back to face him. “O-oh,” you whisper lamely, your blood heating up when your gaze meets his. “Jungkook?” you call out, though you don’t think he’ll be up for much conversation right now.

You have never quite seen him like this before. His eyes have started glowing red, so much so that there’s barely a sliver of white remaining. His fangs have extended far past what should have been humanly possible, its sharp tips puncturing his bottom lip. He doesn’t even appear to be moving, not even showing any signs that he might have been breathing at all.

“Jungkook,” you repeat. You tug on his sleeve hesitantly, but he stands as still as a statue. “Jungkook, get a hold of yourself!” It takes you a few moments of coaxing and shaking before some semblance of lucidity returns to him.

He blinks a few times, but his incisors have yet to retract. “Sorry,” he grunts, bringing a hand up to his face. He rubs at his eyes, and when he reopens them, they’ve stopped glowing. His irises are still a deep shade of red. “Sorry, I didn’t think I’d lose myself there. That’s never happened before.”

“You were kinda scary there for a second,” you laugh nervously. “Almost like you were going to eat me alive.”

“I honestly might have,” Jungkook admits. “If Seokjin hadn’t stopped you from coming right then, I might have just fed from you right in the open.”

You shiver. You kind of hate yourself for liking the sound of that, even if it was hypothetical. Your bodyguards wouldn’t risk your reputation like that. For a moment, it almost could have been real though, your mind unhelpfully supplies.

“You would’ve lost the game then,” you say instead.

Jungkook chuckles weakly, shaking his head. “You, Seokjin, and I already knew from the start that if anyone was going to lose, it was always going to be me.”

“Conceding defeat, then?” you ask. You press your thighs together in anticipation, catching the way he watches your movements like a predator awaiting its prey. “Is anyone watching us?”

With your back facing the party, you would never have known if anyone was close enough to hear your strangled moans back then. Ever the attentive bodyguard despite hunger and lust clouding his mind, Jungkook had still made sure that the two of you were far away enough from prying eyes. Well, with the exception of one.

“He was watching us,” Jungkook mumbles. You don’t turn to look when he points somewhere behind you. “He’s by the northwest entrance. He was watching us the whole time, but now he’s talking to your brother’s bodyguard.”

“How much do you wanna bet he won’t notice us sneaking out?” you ask, giggling when Jungkook gives you an incredulous look. “What? Didn’t you once say you could sneak me out of anywhere without my father knowing?”

“Your father and Kim Seokjin are two different people in two different leagues,” he points out. He glances at Seokjin once more, rubbing his neck nervously. “Oh, he’s definitely going to figure out what we’re doing the moment we get out of here.”

You shrug, already tugging him by the hand towards the restroom outside the ballroom. You wink at him, your giggles full of mischief. “Then it’s settled. We lose this game, and then we start another one.”

“Another one?” Jungkook echoes, following you like a dutiful pet. When you exit the ballroom, you find the reception area empty save for a few other security guards loitering by the elevators, surreptitiously on their phones. You easily make it past them and head to where the restrooms are, setting your sights on the polished wooden doors.

You push Jungkook inside the women’s restroom, locking the door once you both are settled inside. Turning to face him with an eager grin, you almost let out a laugh at the overenthusiastic gleam in his eyes. “New game plan. I call this one the ‘let’s see if we can get off before Seokjin catches us’ game.”

“Sounds thrilling,” Jungkook chuckles, but he’s already opening his arms when you walk over to him. You accept his embrace, pressing him against the marble sinks and slotting your lips together.

The kiss is fiery, all teeth and no finesse. He has one hand grabbing fistfuls of your ass and the other cupping your jaw as he holds you in place. Your own hands almost seem like they don’t know what to do, scrambling up and down his sides before finally locking around his neck as your mind goes blank.

Jungkook’s incisors cut your lips accidentally, causing droplets of blood to trickle down. They don’t even make it past your chin before Jungkook’s voracious tongue is already lapping it up, his groans echoing in the vastly large room.

You barely register the pain before Jungkook is offering another distraction in the form of his lips trailing down to your jaw until he reaches your neck, his breath leaving goosebumps across your skin. “Y/N,” he rasps, his fangs dizzyingly close.

Before he can choose to do anything, you trail a finger to his chin, forcing him to look at you. His eyes appear glazed over, almost as if he isn’t even fully cognizant of his surroundings. But when he catches sight of the way a fresh droplet of blood is already beginning to take form on your lips, his gaze hardens immediately.

You smirk, giggling when he groans at you licking up your bloodied lip. “No marks on my neck, baby. You’re gonna have to drink from down there.”

In any other scenario, you might have been concerned at how quickly he drops to his knees. He doesn’t look too bothered, however, as he bunches up your dress to your chest and tears your pathetic excuse for underwear into shreds. The small purple vibrator falls to the ground along with it, neither of you worried about where it is rolling away.

“You’re so fucking wet,” he groans, burying his nose into your cunt. You yelp loudly, sensitive after hours of edging. You unconsciously try to trap him with your thighs, but he holds them apart with an iron grip. From your vantage point, you can only see his eyelashes grazing your stomach as he licks two long stripes across your slit, nearly causing you to fall over had he not been holding you.

“Shit.” He leans back to look at you properly, his mouth shiny with your slick. “Can I? Can I please?”

You don’t even know what exactly it is that he’s asking, but you’re already nodding anyway, eager for him to do something, anything. “Yes, yes, yes. C’mon, Koo. Give it to me,” you whine. Your voice sounds hoarse to your ears, desperate and delirious.

Not one to disobey, Jungkook does exactly that. One moment he is on the floor and the next he is lifting you with ease, placing you on the marble counter and standing between your legs to keep them spread. He returns to kneeling and hooks your legs onto his shoulders. He caresses your thighs with a gentleness that seems out of place, craning his neck sideways so he can plant a chaste kiss on your inner thigh.

You whimper impatiently, nudging him with your knee. “Jungkook, this is sweet and all, but my pussy has been aching to be stuffed for hours now so I’d really appreciate it if we can just get on with the pro-o-g-gram—” you stammer, your verbal skills forgotten the moment his thumb brushes your clit. Your body jerks on instinct, his delicate touch like lightning on your skin. “Ah, fuck! Jungkook, please!”

You have your head thrown back, unable to keep still when he proceeds to push a finger into you without warning. He pumps into you slowly, the drag of his fingertips torturously slow as you incoherently beg for more.

“More? You fucking asked for it,” he grunts, adding a second finger and being rewarded with another chorus of moans from you. He fucks his fingers into you like a drill, the obscene squelch of your sopping cunt coupled with the sound of palm hitting against your clit is like music to his ears. He can sense the way your blood is rushing through you right now, pleasure thrumming through your limbs and making you intoxicatingly sweet.

“I can’t wait to taste you, darling,” he says, licking his lips in anticipation. “You must love this, don’t you? Love it when I finger you like this, even though you know hyung is going to catch us and punish us for this?”

You nod fervently, incoherent babbles dribbling from your open mouth. “W-want both of you! Want S-Seokjin to catch us and make us cry.” You gasp, your stomach clenching when he curls his fingers in just the right way to make your toes curl in pleasure. “Koo, I’m a-almost there!”

Your pussy, despite hours of being constantly aroused, still feels like a vice grip, selfishly sucking him back. He relishes your moans, drawing more sounds out of you that you had not known you were capable of producing. There is no time or space for shame as your whines grow higher in pitch, calling out his name when you sense your orgasm approach.

Jungkook feels feverish when he finally takes a bite from your skin, your blood made sweeter when you climaxed from his fingers alone. The meat of your thigh gushes crimson like a fountain upon his desert-like tongue. He is drunk on you; not even nectar can be sweeter than you.

He drinks for what feels like hours, lapping at your wound until he cannot stomach another drop. A blatant lie, of course, but he also does not wish to drink you dry. So with a heavy heart, he pulls away, leaving one last lick up your thigh to stop the bleeding. He slumps back on his knees, his head lolling drowsily as he looks at you with a satisfied smile.

You are in no better condition, your chest heaving as you struggle to regain your sanity after both the mind-blowing orgasm and blood loss. Still, you smirk sleepily back at him, your eyebrow raised as if in question.

“What?” Jungkook drawls.

Instead of a verbal response, you point at his crotch with your feet. When he looks down, his dick is completely hard, his erection straining against his slacks. He was so deeply engrossed in the flavor of you that he had not even stopped to consider his own arousal, but now that it has been so kindly pointed out by you, the need to be inside of you consumes him like a fire burning him on a stake.

A guttural sound escapes his throat, a renewed fervor pushing him to climb to his feet in an instant. Impatient, he struggles for a moment to loosen his belt, has half a mind to just tear his pants in two when—

“Jeon Jungkook, can you hear me?”

Jungkook stiffens. Unable to hear the voice coming from his earpiece, you give Jungkook a quizzical look, wondering why he’d suddenly stopped in his tracks. “Koo? What’s the matter?” you ask, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Jeon Jungkook, answer me,” Seokjin’s voice is slightly garbled by static, but the authority in his tone is unmistakable.

Jungkook swallows thickly. He lifts the small microphone attached to his lapel, bringing it closer to his lips. “H-hyung?” he stutters. Your eyes widen, realization and panic seizing you.

You both share a frantic look. Fuck!

Seokjin chuckles darkly. “Took you long enough. Did you and our little mistress have fun?”

“W-well, we—” Jungkook stammers, looking to you for help. You shrug your shoulders, equally as tongue-tied. He returns to his mic, “We were just, umm…”

“Open the door,” is all Seokjin utters before Jungkook’s earpiece goes dead. Jungkook rips the small piece of plastic from his ear, both of you turning to the door when a loud knock reverberates across the restroom.

“It’s…” Jungkook cuts off, but he doesn’t need to say anything for you to know exactly who is waiting outside the door.

“Open the door,” Seokjin repeats, but there’s a certain quality to his voice that makes both you and Jungkook immediately want to follow his command. Without another word, Jungkook stands up stiffly, his feet dragging as he unlocks the door to allow him inside.

“No fair,” you complain. You pout, crossing your arms. “You used your siren voice on us!”

“I wouldn’t have needed to use it if you two weren’t acting like a pair of brats,” Seokjin says, sickly sweet. He’s smiling, but there is darkness lingering in his expression. It doesn’t help that your lower body is still exposed, free for his gaze to roam. “Do you have any idea how much trouble the two of you are in?”

“I’m sure my father is hardly concerned,” you scoff, filled with false bravado. You smirk when his eyebrows furrow, keen to tempt his anger. After all, Seokjin is the most fun to play with when he lets go. “Besides, I pay you to look out for me, don’t I? I’d expect you to come up with an excuse on our behalf.”

“I suppose so,” Seokjin hums. He glances at Jungkook, whose prior arousal has yet to subside. In a flash, Seokjin has Jungkook backed up to a toilet cabinet, roughly grabbing his bulge. Jungkook wheezes, his eyes flashing open in surprise.

“And you?” Seokjin asks, using his free hand to force Jungkook to face him. “You understand that you left your post, don’t you?”

“Yes,” Jungkook gasps out. Seokjin’s grip tightens, and Jungkook releases a soft moan.

“Yes, what?”

“Yes hyung,” Jungkook emphasizes, his hips unconsciously rutting upwards. Seokjin situates his thigh in between Jungkook’s legs, letting the younger boy rock against it for a few moments before pulling back just as quickly. Jungkook whines pathetically, jaw agape.

“You both lost the game. What makes you think you deserve anything?” Seokjin asks. He directs his question to you, glancing over his shoulder. “Well? Did I interrupt something I wasn’t supposed to see?”

When you don’t reply, Seokjin frowns. “Answer me, Y/N.”

His voice is musical, and it pulls the answer out of you, unable to resist. “Yes,” you say, through gritted teeth.

“What were you going to do?”

“He was going to fuck me,” you say. You smirk when his shoulders tense. “We were going to fuck without you.”

At your admission, Seokjin considers you with an unreadable expression. The tension in the air is tangible. Jungkook has his eyes averted, but judging from the way his cock twitches in his trousers, you know he’s also aware of what’s going to happen. All you need to do is wait a little, and then Seokjin will—

He steps away from Jungkook and walks towards the chaise lounge situated near the wall of the entrance. He sits on it primly, his back straightened as though he were about to call you in for tea. “Go on then,” he says, flapping his hands flippantly. When neither of you moves, he quirks an eyebrow in amusement. “What? Don’t let me ruin your fun. Continue where you left off.”

“Um…” you say, thoroughly at a loss. This is usually the point where Seokjin decides to punish either of you, or perhaps drag the two of you back home for more adequate disciplinary action. Instead, he seems content to allow the two of you to do as you please. He has a mask of indifference on, and it’s always been a little hard for you to figure out what he was really thinking.

“But…” Jungkook gulps. “W-we wanted you to, um…”

“What? To join you? Oh please,” Seokjin laughs, a little cruelly. “No, I’d rather not stop your fun. Carry on.”

“But—”

“Carry. On.” Seokjin commands, his power trickling onto his words. At once, Jungkook straightens up, his feet carrying him towards you and spreading your legs apart. You gasp, the sudden movement surprising you.

“Seokjin, what are you..?”

“Fuck her, Jungkook,” Seokjin interrupts, ignoring your baffled stutters. “Fuck her until she can’t even stand.”

Jungkook shoves down his pants and underwear in one swift motion, kicking them off his ankles somewhere behind him. He situates his cock against you, rubbing the tip against your slit for a second before thrusting forward and splitting you open.

You both scream and moan at the sensation, your warm walls clamped around him deliciously. He begins his brutal pace immediately, both due to his desperation to meet his orgasm and also the magic imbued in the simple command given by Seokjin.

The intoxicating roll of his hips has your eyes seeing stars as he pulls out nearly all the way before pushing back in. He angles himself until he hits your sweet spot with every thrust, ripping ragged whimpers from your throat. Your second orgasm is quickly building before you know it, your body tightening up as he continues to rut into you.

With a trembling moan, you gush around him, coating his cock with your arousal. Your legs are still shaking even after you finish, your entire body going limp from the exertion. Jungkook slows down, still painfully hard inside of you.

“Did I tell you to stop? Keep going,” Seokjin utters quietly. He is the picture of calmness, his hands folded delicately onto his lap.

“What?” you exclaim. “I can’t, no, it’s too much—”

But when it comes to Seokjin, his word is the law. Between the two of you, Jungkook has always been more susceptible to his voice, completely powerless under Seokjin’s influence. And so, Jungkook resumes fucking into you, mindlessly obedient.

“I’m too—Jungkook, stop, I’m sensitive,” you cry out, but your pleas go unheard as he reaches between the two of you, his thumb grazing your clit and causing your entire body to jolt forward. Your walls squeeze around his cock in response and Jungkook trembles in pleasure. His ministrations on your clit, in tandem with the swiveling of his hips, are almost vicious, the sting both pleasurable and painful.

You can feel the beginnings of tears forming, the assault on your senses almost too unbearable to handle. “S-Seokjin, please! Make him stop!”

Jungkook is nearing his climax, his rhythm growing erratic and showing no signs of slowing down. He is unable to hear you past his desire, completely entranced and hypnotized.

“You want him to stop? Fine,” Seokjin says, amused. “Jungkook, stop.”

“No, please!” Jungkook lets out a tortured wail. His body freezes in place, his cock still twitching inside of you. The poor boy lets out a few stray tears, his eyes squeezed shut as his body refuses to do his bidding. He sobs, his voice cracking as he pleads, “Hyung, I was so close!”

“Not my problem,” Seokjin giggles. He gets up from his perch on the sofa, leisurely walking towards the both of you as he surveys the frozen boy with a satisfied grin. “That ought to teach you a lesson,” he says, patting Jungkook on the back.

“And you,” he says, facing you, “aren’t getting away so easily.”

You gulp, a shudder running down your spine. “B-but, the party..?”

Snorting incredulously, Seokjin taps his microphone on. “Namjoon-ssi? Yes, I’m sorry for leaving so suddenly. I found Miss Y/N. It seems that she is having stomach problems, so I’ll be escorting her home. Please inform Master Min about her early departure,” he says in one breath, shutting his earpiece off before the other man can reply.

“It seems like everything is already taken care of,” Seokjin says angelically, even though he is anything but. He bends down to pick up Jungkook’s discarded pants, handing them to the younger. He also finds your forgotten vibrator under one of the sinks, picking it up and placing it neatly into his pocket.

He smiles. “Get dressed, both of you. The night is still young, after all.”

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cuinnamonbun · 3 years

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I’m so sorry this took so long! I’ve been so swamped with my work and figuring out how each individual brother would react in the situation :( A bit of warning though, I’m still not quite familiar with Belphie’s character, I had to work with what little I knew of him by reading through every Belphie stan rant about him, the text messages/phone calls that we get from him and the Obey Me wikia page so I’m really sorry if I destroyed his character here >.< !!! But all of that aside, I hope that this is still enjoyable and readable to all of you :)

And of course, a massive thank you to @dawndustleo for the request!!

Big brothers’ reactions here!

Part 2 of How the Brothers React to Accidentally Falling in Love with a Devout Muslim MC (Little Brothers)

Satan

Ah, yes. Our resident academic

Satan did not like our cute lil MC when he first met them (and they him) and these two were wary of each other

Honestly, the only reason these two would even become friends in the first place is because of MC tbh

I doubt Satan would approach them willingly in the hopes of making friends. At most, he would only converse with them to add to his impressive list of connections or for his own personal gain (cough making Lucifer miserable cough)

The more he spends time with them though, Satan slowly unravels the layers that make MC the person that they are and he’d be shocked at the depth of character they present since he usually just thinks all religious people are numbskulls and mindless sheep anyway

But MC managed to surprise him by demonstrating a wisdom to them that he has yet to associate with any human. Sure, it may not be as profound as Kant’s or Nietzsche, but any questions regarding theology or morality that Satan would throw at them for fun (with the sadistic intent of watching them blunder in their answer) MC managed to answer it as honest as they could

To him, most people are predictable

Where most people would reply with a simple “i dunno”, MC did not and it was during these interrogations chatting sessions that Satan could truly admire the rawness of MC’s soul. Be it in the way they viewed the world or their thought process. Satan would be in complete awe of the world that they view through their lenses

Devout Muslims spend most of their life trying to live up to the example of their beloved Prophet Muhammad (may peace be unto him) and MC is no exception to this, their time in the Devildom would make it harder but they’d definitely hold on strong, especially with the angels there as well c:

So even if most of their answers would have something to do with God, the inherent longing and yearning in their voice would be enough to move even him

It’s this part of them that really started his infatuation with MC. They were so pure and virtuous that they were kind to even him, the sworn enemy of every believing Muslim in the world. They looked past his Wrath and understood him and his complexities that often, they would help Satan realise his own mysteries

Unlike the other brothers though, Satan was hyperconscious of MC’s choice in religion

So the second he realised he was in love with them, his sin consumes him and he would destroy anything within sight and cursing God’s name to, well, Hell

When he finally calms down, that’s when the heartache sets in for him ;(

Because even if MC reciprocates his feelings, their devotion to God would far, far outweigh their love for him and they would always choose Him over Satan

Asmodeus

Asmodeus’ idea of love had always been skewed since the minute he fell from Heaven

Maybe he did experience true love back when he was an angel, but that had been so long ago that he’d almost forgotten how it feels like

As the Avatar of Lust, Asmo’s love language is extremely physical. It doesn’t have to be inherently suggestive but even the more innocent touches like a simple hug or even hand holding could escalate into something risqué

It’s not like he intentionally sets it off too. It’s his sin!! He can’t help it if a friendly hug pitches a tent in his pants!!

Like Lucifer, Asmo would first pursue MC for less-than-pure gains

He revels in attention from anyone and anything, if that person shows the least bit of attention to him (especially sexually) he WILL feel genuinely offended, like he’s not good enough

And with MC’s piety and immunity from Asmo’s charm, he would absolutely see MC as nothing more than a goal, a forbidden fruit, or the highest win one can get in a lottery

He would amp up his seduction and sin to the max level that even his brothers had to leave the room because it was so overpowering it began to mess with their heads and I can see MC not being okay with that and this would upset them a lot

Lucifer will have to force Asmo to apologise to MC every time this happens (a lot) and though his apologies are sarcastic and obviously ingenuine, MC was always so forgiving and so kind, treating him more than just lust embodied. With their high resistance against his charms, Asmo knows that MC is genuine in their want to be his friend

And this would definitely cause his heart to palpitate and soar in happiness. Because for the first time, someone is interested in him, his person rather than his body, his looks or his status as one of the seven Demon Lords of the Devildom

The constant impure thoughts of what he wanted to do with MC once they finally fall under his charm slowly turned into wholesome ones, with him thinking of the best ways he can make them smile like that one time when he said something that was truly amusing to them

He still won’t realise this though because the change had been a slow and steady one. The only way he would realise that he is utterly besotted and head over heels for MC is when MC had accidentally tripped and fell into his arms...and he felt nothing. Well, other than genuine concern and worry of course

He would be so shocked by that fact and he would run to Satan to confirm what he already knew

When he finally comes to terms with it, he was ecstatic and a little nervous. It’s his first time loving someone other than himself and he was so, so excited to share this happy news to MC

Unfortunately, MC would be forced to turn him down as gently as they could, explaining the reasons why. I would imagine it would hurt for MC to do this because they would never ever want to cause him pain 🥺

Asmo would be so shocked. Because why in hell would you ever turn him down? Because he was so sure that MC reciprocated his feelings. They were always so kind to him, so warm and gentle. Had he misread the signs?

Asmo would give them a fake smile and assure them that it’s fine, that they were much better off as friends anyway even though MC didn’t look like they believed him

Asmo would act joyful as he usually did, but his brothers and MC knew that it was all an act, and while his brothers didn’t understand what’d happened (with the exception of Satan) it would absolutely crush them to see the most joyous of the brothers so dejected, even if he’d try his best to hide it

When MC left the Devildom, Lucifer will have to deal with the influxes of bills his little brother has accumulated from the copious amounts of alcohol he consumed trying to forget about them

Beelzebub

Unlike his older brothers, Beel fell in love with MC real quick

This demon is a big sweetheart and he treasures his family a lot, so I can definitely see him falling in love with a kind MC

Devout Muslim MC would always be on the lookout to help other people wherever they go and when they found Beel sad and hungry, they gave up their lunch for him

When they found out that Beel’s stomach is just practically a black hole, MC would take it upon themselves to learn how to cook all kinds of cuisines (if they couldn’t already) just so they could keep Beel fed and to make sure he doesn’t go around eating inedible stuff

“Beel! Don’t eat that, that is a plate. Come on honey, let me go prepare you a cheeseburger or a dozen, okay?”

Beel fell in love with them right then and there

With how his brothers have had to keep up with his everlasting hunger, they would definitely give up trying to feed him because one, it’s impossible to keep up with the Avatar of Gluttony’s appetite and two, they’re demons, they don’t do Good Samaritan deeds

In order to maintain their grades AND keep up with Beel’s black hole of a stomach, MC developed a little schedule that they taped above their desk and their bed, as well as digitalized a copy in their DDD to allocate their time wisely

When Beel found out about this, he paused. He paused, then gawked, then engulfed MC in a huge hug because no one has ever done anything like that for him and just knowing the extra lengths they went for him made his heart stutter

Mammon: What the hell, MC you made all of this for Beel?????

MC: You know what they say *putting a buffet of food in front of an awed Beel* The quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach *pats Beel’s tummy with a smile*

Beel: *dying from blushing*

From that point on, he started following them like a lost puppy. Of course, it didn’t hurt that they constantly have little snacks on them for him but it was more so because he wanted their company

MC is patient with him and constantly smiles at him which drives his heart crazy and whenever he returns to his shared bedroom with Belphie, he always had this big dopey smile on him as he talked to Belphie about his day with MC and what they did and what MC wore and how cute they were looking at the different plush toys on display at the mall-

Belphie loves his twin but for the love of hell, please just let him sleep

But when Beel told him that he planned to confess to them, all traces of drowsiness would disappear from Belphie and he would have to explain to Beel on why that would be a bad idea

Of course Belphie would do so gently, but there was a heavy hint of urgency and worry in Belphie’s tone that Beel couldn’t ignore

That was the night Belphie would hold Beel while he cried himself to sleep :(

Despite knowing that they weren’t meant to be, Beel would still hang around them even if their mere presence would cause his heart to seize. It wasn’t their fault and Beel would never hold something like this against them. It just isn’t in his nature

Even if MC reciprocated his feelings, he would never pursue anything more with them despite his heart jumping for joy because he knew it would deeply hurt his MC in the long run

It was precisely because of his love for MC that he would let them go, even if it pained him to do so

When MC left the Devildom, Beel tried his best to continue living his life as it were before but sometimes, he felt as though he might just let his hunger and heartbreak take over him 💔

Belphegor

Being the Avatar of Sloth, Belphie is well aware of the recurring nightmares MC has had since he first killed them. But even without his status as the lord of sleep, one could notice. It was that obvious

MC suffered trauma because of him and Belphie will carry that guilt with him to the end of his days

The first few weeks, MC is notably wary of him; preferring to stick with Mammon or Lucifer during group activities, leaving the room whenever he was there and coming up with excuses to leave on the spot whenever he would sit next to them during meals

It brought him and his brothers terrible sadness to see their human change from a bright little thing to a meek little animal, trembling down to their knees. It reminded them of when MC first came to the Devildom; lost and fearful

But eventually MC would finally start interacting with Belphie; you know, a simple hello and no immediate fleeing whenever he wanders into a room. Baby steps, y’know? They would still cling to Lucifer or Mammon though

He would be so confused about it

Like, hello? I am your murderer?? Why are you trying to befriend me???

Like, this man really thought that they were going to spend the entirety of the exchange program just ignoring him. Not that he would blame them

But MC was so determined on moving past that and the least he could do was humour them

He would make sure that they were comfortable every time they interacted; which meant no sudden moves, no being an asshole to them, speaking politely to them and just giving them space in general

It won’t take long for MC to fully be comfortable around him again and trust him enough to form a pact with him

Now that MC is able to relax around him, MC and Belphie would be frequently hanging out with each other due in large part to Beelzebub who is just really, REALLY glad that his two favourite people finally like each other now 🥺🥺

In time, they would be able to trust each other enough to reveal the deepest parts of themselves to each other and the first time it happened, Belphie cried and MC...to his surprise, was not a stifling presence

They were silent as they listened to him speak, their attention rapt on him as he bared his soul to them and their presence was warm and comforting as he cried, with no judgment of any sort to be found

That was when he would truly start to fall in love with them and though he realised that MC would probably reject his advances if he were to pursue anything more with them, it didn’t stop him from trying at all

He found a good human not just for himself, but also for Beel and the rest of his brothers, he wasn’t going to let them go that easily

He finally understood why his little sister sacrificed all that she was to be with her human lover and he really thought that their circumstances were similar (spoiler alert it’s not)

His love for MC was absolutely genuine, which would make this all the more terrifying because he would truly believe that what he was doing was the best thing for them

Belphie is cunning and highly manipulative, he would most definitely attempt to skew MC’s devotion to God and attempt to convince her that the Devildom has much better things to offer than the Celestial Realm

He would try his absolute hardest to get them to stay with him in their realm

“Oh, speaking of God, back when I was an angel, did you know this one time He tried to...” “Do you have to pray now? You could always do it later, you know. I mean, He is Ar-Rahim, the Most Merciful right? He’ll understand”

Devout or not, he will break through their strong will and convince MC to leave their religious path all the while pretending to support them and their religious freedom

If MC reciprocated his feelings, he would be overjoyed because this makes it a HUNDRED times easier for him to persuade them to stay with him and be with him forever

And it’s true, with his silver tongue and patience, he could absolutely crumble MC’s devotion to God if MC’s not careful

If Belphie was unsuccessful with his attempts to keep them with him forever, he would be absolutely enraged by it

“They’re MINE! You stay away from them! I am so irrevocably in love them and I REFUSE to let Him have them!”

He would probably most definitely start a war with the Celestial Realm over this

#obey me! shall we date?#obey me!#satan obey me #asmo obey me #beel obey me #belphie obey me #satan x mc obey me #asmo x mc obey me #beel x mc obey me #belphie x mc obey me #obey me x muslim!mc #muslim!mc #swd satan #swd asmodeus #swd beelzebub #swd belphegor

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clockworkgraystairs · 4 years

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I just went a read all your pregnant Jurdan hcs and my gosh, they were so amazing!! If you want and can, could you write one where Jude and Cardan tells the court of shadow crew personally about her being pregnant. I feel like they are her second family tbh.

Hi there!! Sorry it took me a long to write this, but it’s finally finished!!

You’re totally right, they are like a second family to her and deserve all the love and respect! 🧡

Also, thank you so so much for your lovely comment!

Scheming great schemes masterlist

Read on AO3 here!

Tags: @thesirenwashere

If I was supposed to tag somebody else PLEASE forgive me and let me know! (it’s like 2 am and I’m not thinking straight rn)

SCHEMING GREAT SCHEMES:

The Court of Shadows finds out Jude’s pregnant

(aka Cardan is being overprotective again)

Three weeks had passed since Jude learned she was pregnant. Still, they chose not to make the official announcement until the Full Moon festivities, which lasted almost a week.

Cardan’s wish was to shout it from their balcony the same day his wife had told him, and then throw a revel for two full weeks. But Jude had convinced him to wait, not wanting to make more fuss than the strictly necessary, which being honest, was going to be a lot.

At the moment, only three people besides her and Cardan knew about it: Vivi, Taryn and Heather. Even if Jude was dying to see Asha’s incredulous face she’d decided to make her wait until the official announcement. Telling her before would make her feel important. Jude was decided to show her the exact opposite.

Still, she could feel Asha’s eyes following her everywhere, always calculating. Almost suspicious. Could she know something already? And if she did, why staying silent?

Jude inhaled deeply and lifted her hand to her belly, she needed to stop being so paranoid.

Her mind kept thinking about it while she entered the Court of Shadows hideout. Jude usually went there when she wanted to train or work without being bothered. It was calm and quiet and-

She stopped in her tracks as she realized the place was not empty. In fact, one could say it was quite crowded.

The Ghost, Roach and the Bomb stood in the middle of the room, and to Jude’s surprise, Cardan was in front of them. They were serious enough that she could almost believe there was a war approaching. She rushed to them with furrowed eyebrows.

“This is top priorit-” Cardan paused, noticing her. “Jude.”

The others turned and nodded, welcoming her. Still, something alarmed in their eyes that made Jude’s shoulders tensed immediately.

“What’s wrong?” She asked.

She reached Cardan, her fingers itched to take his, but this was a serious meeting. Maybe later. His expression was unreadable, one that he usually had when his mind was solely focused on a single issue.

“I meant to talk to you later but, I guess now is a good moment as any. From now on, Jude, the Court of Shadows will be your personal guard.” Her what?! She stared at her husband wide eyed. “They shall accompany you on every step and make sure nothing will-”

“Personal guard?” What on earth was going on? She gazed back to the others, looking for a reasonable explanation. “Did I miss something?”

The Bomb stepped forward and gave a slight bow. “You have my word Your Highness, that no harm will come to the High Queen, no matter the threat.”

She looked at Jude solemnly, frowning a bit.

Ok she’d definitely missed something.

“Can someone please explain why am I to be protected?” Jude crossed her arms, narrowing her eyes at Cardan.

He cleared his throat, looking back to their friends. “Your safety has always been important to me, wife.”

She didn’t buy it, he wasn’t even making eye-contact with her. Suddenly, something clicked inside her brain.

That idiot.

“Cardan.”

“Roach and Ghost, you will be with her at all hours. On council meetings, one of you will be inside with her and the other one outside guarding the door. When she retires to sleep, one will be outside the room and the other may go to rest. You-”

“Cardan” She repeated louder this time. He didn’t answer.

“...will report to me of every suspicious movement around her, no matter where it comes from.” He turned to Bomb. “Lilliver, you will be in charge of the perimeter, you are the best at it. Also when Jude needs to bathe or something, l trust you to be with her and assist if she-”

“Oh my god, stop!” Her fists were now tightened at her sides. She wasn’t sure of who to punch first.

“Jude” The Bomb started, her voice soothing. “It is ok, whatever threat is coming we will not let it reach you.”

“Is there an actual threat upon me, my King?” The way she was glaring at him could make dozens run for their lives, but he just returned her look with strange adoration. She wanted to slap him so hard.

“Come on Queeny, you can let us protect you for once.” Roach teased, standing next to the Bomb. “It will not make you look less terrifying than usual, no offense.”

“No one will dare to question that.” Cardan concealed, with that irritating and charming smile of his.

“I am not saying…” She sighed. “I do not need any protection. Whatever nonsense Cardan told you please just forget it.”

“They shall not.”

Cardan’s voice was back to that autoritary tone. When she get to be alone with him…

At some point the Bomb had approached her and took her hand. “If something is frightening you Jude, we can start investigating it immediately.”

“I am not scared!” Jude jerked back her hand. Pinching the bridge of her nose, she groaned deeply. “I’m… gods… I’m pregnant ok?”

Raising her gaze again she found the three of the Court frozen in their places. Roach and the Bomb mouth-opened. The Ghost with an eyebrow raised. All of them wide eyed. All of them turning to Cardan in a single motion. Jude found herself biting down a laugh from their incredulous faces.

Cardan shrugged as if it didn’t change anything. Still, the intensity of his eyes sent a shiver down her spine.

After a couple of seconds in complete silence, something finally exploded. The Bomb let out a sharp squeal that startled even Roach before throwing herself at Jude in a tight hug, which she answered a little clumsy at the beginning, unused to such displays of affection from her.

Roach laughed, throwing his head back. “Oh I see now. I knew there was something odd about all of this but…” He swore, still cackling. “Congratulations you both!”

On the other hand, the Ghost looked as if he’d just solved a big mystery. “Ah, I noticed Taryn was keeping some sort of secret from me, got me worried for a while.” He sighed and smiled at the couple, congratulating them as well.

In all of that time, the Bomb hadn’t let go of Jude, murmuring surprise words and happy nonsense about teaching their baby how to hide and be a spy. Jude didn’t know if being delighted or terrified, but couldn’t contain her smile at her friend’s joy.

At some point, the Ghost, who Jude never noticed leaving, came back to the room with food, wine and juice. That last one probably for her. They sat on the cushions and carpets and talked, teased and laughed, Jude telling them the story of how she’d found out she was pregnant.

Cardan, who had already came down from his ‘King mode’, joined their happiness and jokes, thanking them for their words. He reach for Jude, caressing her cheek with the back of his fingers. Watching her with something between love and wariness. “I hope you all have a better understanding now of why her security is priority from now on.”

Jude rolled her eyes, and took his hand. “I get your motives, but you’re really exaggerating, I do not need… well, all of that!”

“Oh no no, stop right there Jude.” Roach said. “Not even a cold breeze is going to touch that belly of yours, I am telling you.”

The other two nodded in agreement. The Bomb suggesting something about not letting anyone even approach Jude without proper previous inspection.

She stared at them wide eyed. Those traitors. Cardan flashed her a triumphant grin.

Roach noticed Jude’s betrayed glare and shrugged. “Sorry lass, but even if we were not given royal commands to protect you, we would anyway. It may seem like you do not need it now but… it is not of public knowledge yet.”

“Once it is,” The Bomb continued. “It will be impossible to guess the reactions among the folk. Better to be prepared for anything.”

“Thank you both, my wife is a little stubborn. But I will not take any risks.” Cardan’s grip on her hand tighten a bit. His voice so soft and full of gratitude it made Jude’s chest shrink.

She sighed, knowing any further excuse would lead nowhere. She really understood, still, being guarded the whole time felt strange. Could she deal with it?

Unless...

“Don’t you think that making Lil stay with me while I bathe is a little too much?” She asked, taking a casual sip from her cup.

Cardan pulled her closer and laid his chin on her head. “When it comes to you, my love, there is no such thing as ‘too much.’”

Jude nodded. Raising her hand she started caressing his jaw, trailing her movements down to his neck, slower every inch. She muttered “I just thought you would be a better companion for me on that moment, that’s all. You could keep me close and... well observed the whole time.”

She practically heard his heart skip a beat. He swallowed, and made a low growling sound intended only for her.

Someone cleared his throat, making them look back at their companions.

The Roach was trying so hard not to laugh while watching the Bomb. She’d stopped chewing her food and stared at nothing, dramatically uncomfortable. The Ghost kept eating as if he didn’t hear anything, a mocking little smirk on his lips.

Heat climbed up Jude’s cheeks, she hadn’t realized they were being that obvious. Then again, it wasn’t like Cardan didn’t enjoy the attention.

He chuckled, probably knowing what she was thinking, and raised his cup. “To you, my friends. For everything you have done for us, and what you are still willing to do. I will never find a way to show you how thankful I am.”

Jude mimicked him, her cup filled with grape juice. “You are family to us too, please never forget that.”

Glasses were raised, a couple of tears spilled and more hugs were given. This was one of those moments when Jude didn’t feel like the world was folding over her. She could breathe easily, and laugh in that little bubble of trust and love. Worries like ruling a kingdom, the former Court of Teeth, Lady Asha, nothing mattered now. Just this, just them.

Soft lips pressed to the base of her neck, startling her. She turned to Cardan as his arms surrounded her. “You look happy.” He mumbled. It was not a question.

Jude cupped his cheek and grazed his mouth. Behind her, the Bomb said something like: “They just keep doing that in front of me, gods why?”

They ignored her. Cardan chuckled, his chest shaking against hers.

“I am.” She answered, finally pressing their lips together.

#jurdan #jude duarte #cardan greenbriar #the court of shadows #tfota #scheming great schemes #the bomb #roach #the ghost #tess writes #sorry i just love the concept of the Bomb being all indigned when it comes to Jude and Cardan being affective to each other #like REALLY RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD?#kasjsjjajhshs

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theonceoverthinker · 4 years

Text

When Will My Life Begin? (Fair Game, 15/?)

Summary: Tangled AU. Clover Callows has been confined to a tower for all of his life, and given the threat that his Uncle Tyrian says his semblance poses to his safety, he accepts that fate. It’s the only life he’s ever known, after all. But when he’s offered the opportunity to fulfill his greatest dream after a chance encounter with a thief -- or bandit, as Qrow Branwen insists there’s a difference between the two -- both Clover and Qrow will discover joys that they never knew life could offer them before.

AO3

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Clover took pride in the fact that in the three hours since he left his tower, he’d proven himself to be rather brave. He actually left the tower itself by freefalling from the top by Kingfisher’s line, let himself trust another person to guide him to the lanterns, and even confronted that same person over their roguish past.

It couldn’t be said that Clover didn’t have good reason to be impressed with himself.

However, as he stood in Lil’ Miss Malachite’s, watching his guide get trapped in place by the rowdiest people Clover had ever seen in his life, he imagined he could be forgiven for forgetting all that bravery he’d built up.

Everything was so dark, and everyone was so loud, their voices only slightly blurred by the sound of Clover’s heart all but pounding ceaselessly right in his ears with the force of a falling dictionary.

Damn it, Qrow!

What was he thinking, taking them to this place?

Clover imagined Qrow probably thought he could get him to back out of their deal and give him his satchel back by showing him the exact types of people he confessed to fearing most. Well, the joke was on him, because as soon as Clover picked up on that notion, he made it clear to Qrow that he had another thing coming!

But then Qrow brought up a frustratingly good point -- there were sure to be a lot of other people in the capital that acted like these miscreants did. If he couldn’t handle them here in a small little tavern, what would he do then when he was in the larger town?

It was an admittedly good question, one Clover couldn’t really think about before Qrow was captured and Clover was left to fend for himself.

Either way though, one thing was for certain -- Qrow was a jerk.

However, he was also a jerk who knew his way to the lanterns. Clover knew he meant what he told Qrow: He wasn’t going home without seeing them, no matter what.

Besides, though Qrow was a jerk and a thief -- or rather, a bandit, as he claimed -- the sight before him didn’t feel right.

Clover had overpowered Qrow plenty of times today, both physically through his capture and mentally through his hidden satchel and deduction skills. However, for as many times as he defeated Qrow in just that short window of time, Qrow had never made an expression that was anything like what he currently sported.

As Qrow tried to wrestle out of the tight hold imposed on him, there was a helplessness in his eyes, a lack of hope that complemented the sparks of fear that overran his face. It was nothing like the Qrow he’d spent the past few hours with -- instead, one filled with panic that felt cruelly unnatural.

Even outside of his desire to see the lanterns, Clover couldn’t let whatever was causing an expression like that go on.

No, he had to do something.

Raven seemed to have an idea, signaling her view on what they should do by giving Clover’s collar a loose tug towards the door that led out of the tavern.

To that, Clover shot her a deadpan look.

Honestly…

“We’re not leaving him here, Raven,” Clover stated, his tone frank and definite.

Birds couldn’t roll their eyes, but Raven all the same communicated the sensation without even doing it just before letting go of Clover’s collar.

Clover looked at the sight before him.

People were surrounding the kerfuffle being created by Qrow and his captors. Among the many others in attendance, the group that approached Clover when he first entered the tavern were there.

However, while they were absolutely interested in seeing what was going down, they didn’t seem that excited, or even happy about it.

It made them seem so tired, so resigned, so different than what they were like when he first met them.

In fact, looking around the room, Clover could see that no one really appeared in favor of what was happening, not even the woman -- Robyn, he believed her name was -- who led the group who captured Qrow, nor anyone in that group itself.

Weren’t they at least going to get a reward for this, judging by what their boss said? Shouldn’t that have made them just a little more sold on the task at hand?

Clover had to admit, the attitudes towards such an order even in the face of payment seemed a far cry than what Uncle Tyrian had taught him to expect from situations like these.

Then again, Qrow didn’t have a lucky semblance. He supposed there was more empathy his fellow humans were willing to give those who didn’t have so tantalizing a prize within them.

However, as resigned as he was to think about how he was just an exception to this new revelation, Clover had a thought that he chose to focus on instead: Maybe, he could use the reluctance of those around him to get himself and Qrow out of this mess.

It wasn’t going to be easy, and he had no idea how he was going to pull it off, but he also knew he was going to try anyways.

Looking ahead, Clover surveyed his options for those to recruit for help. He couldn’t tell anything about most of the tavern’s other patrons, but some stood out, namely the group he and Qrow ran into when they first came into the place.

Well, they did want to talk to him…

They looked calmer than they did initially now, but all the same, Clover had only talked to Qrow and Raven since he’d left the tower. Raven was his friend and in addition to the advantages and leverage he held over the latter, Qrow proved quickly to not be dangerous -- a jerk, yes, but not a dangerous one. These guys were going to be different. Not only did he not know them -- and what he did know of them was...a lot to handle, but he was in their territory, and there were four of them against himself and Raven.

Clover gave a glance Qrow’s way -- reminding himself of both his moral and selfish obligation to end this -- and made his way over to the group.

With their attention towards Qrow and his captors, the group paid Clover no mind as he approached. That worked out well enough for Clover, who was still trying to figure out just how to initiate this conversation.

Everything that came to mind sounded so stupid. Why would they help him of all people? On top of barely talking to him, he was just some random guy who ran away from them -- he wasn’t sure he’d be so inclined to help himself either after that. And it’s not like he had anything to offer them for their help apart from maybe a good recipe for bread rolls.

He couldn’t do this. Qrow was going to go to jail, and he was going to lose out on his dream forever.

Could he even navigate himself home from here? It wasn’t like anyone could help him, and sure, he put a few landmarks to memory, but that was only going to get him so far.

Uncle Tyrian was right. He never had a chance of surviving outside of the tower on his own.

So much for his bravery…

Suddenly, someone moving from across the bar accidentally pushed Clover to the side, inadvertently knocking him right into one of the group member’s backs. Clover backed away quickly, but the damage had already been done.

Upon being hit, the group member jumped in place, letting out a shapeless exclamation before slowly turning around.

It was the girl from earlier...the especially loud one…

Clover was pretty sure her name was Nora.

“Ooh!” she said upon recognizing him. “Look, guys! It’s that weird stranger from earlier!”

Immediately, the rest of her friends’ turned around to face him.

Clover knew having the group’s eyes on him was something he should have expected if he wanted to enlist their help, but it didn’t make the actuality of it happening any less scary than it was.

Gods, what he would give for some water right now.

Looks like whether he wanted it or not, that very bravery Clover was about to abandon was going to be thrust upon him.

Lucky him...

“Hi,” Clover squeaked.

He waited for a second, hoping one of them was going to say something.

None of them said anything.

Where were the chatterboxes he’d encountered when he first came in here?

Damn it.

“Look, I need your help,” he said, suddenly finding himself able to speak quite a lot, probably as compensation for how quiet they were. “My name is Clover and that guy they have bound up is my guide and I know he’s a thief or a bandit or whatever and it’s going to be really, really hard to save him with all those people in the way trying to get that reward, but I need him to take me to see the lanterns tomorrow because I’ve been dreaming about them my whole life and this is going to be the one chance I’ll ever have to see them up close and in person. I don’t know if you’ve ever had a dream like that, but this one means everything to me, so will you please help me?” Upon finishing, Clover took a deep breath. He was pretty sure he’d picked up the speed speaking, but he got the sense that he got a lot faster than even he thought he did.

Well, at least he didn’t mumble…

Uncle Tyrian could at least be proud of him for that...once he got over every other rule Clover broke today.

For a moment, none of the four of them said anything.

Clover bit his lip. Had he said too much? Did they, in fact, ever have dreams like that? Were dreams even valued by those outside the tower, or was Clover an anomaly in that regard, only admiring them because they were some of the very few things he had to get himself through the lull of repetitive days and years?

The group’s other girl -- Pyrrha, if Clover recalled correctly -- let out a somewhat despondent sigh.

“We know about dreams,” she said. “We’ve been fighting for ours for years now.”

“But to no luck,” one of the boys -- Ren, Clover was pretty sure -- added.

“W-what’s your dream?” The question left Clover’s mouth before he could even think about it, but he dared not take it back, somewhat because he still didn’t know what to make of this group, but mostly because that question allowed him to pursue an opportunity to experience something that didn’t come by his way that often -- someone else talking about their dreams.

Uncle Tyrian had talked about his dreams a bit -- for Clover to remain safe and happy in the tower for all of his days while he took care of him or for a world that didn’t care about semblances -- but it was always so vague and in the former case, it was a dream that they were actually living.

But to hear someone else, and not just one other but four others talk about their unfulfilled dreams was something Clover never knew he wanted until it was something he had the chance to hear for himself.

“We want to defend Remnant from evil!” Nora called out, raising a large hammer in her hand. Quickly, Clover backed away, intimidated by its size.

Uncle Tyrain wasn’t wrong when he spoke of the weapons of those outside the tower. The hammer that Nora held in her hands could probably separate a man’s head from his shoulders, and Clover needed both of those things intact.

However, while Nora raised her hammer, she didn’t attempt to hurt Clover, nor anyone else with it. She was just kind of showing it off before settling its head back on the ground a few moments later and balancing her hands on the base of the handle. Clover had to admit that once his shock had worn off, she looked like a hero from a book yielding such a behemoth. The other’s weapons, still in their sheaths, looked great as well.

Fighting evil, huh?

“That sounds amazing,” Clover said, unable and unwilling to prevent the smile on his face from growing.

“But the only problem is that the royal guard doesn’t consider us ‘couth’ or ‘soldierly’ enough to fight alongside them,” the final member of the group, Jaune, sadly interjected.

“Even though we’ve got the fighting chops,” Nora countered.

“And the desire to help,” Pyrrha added.

In all fairness to their group, the royal guard -- whoever they were -- weren’t entirely wrong. This team that he’d seen in just those short moments they’d interacted with was unabashedly loud, eccentric, and definitely didn’t look all that interested in following rules. No, they just looked like they wanted to do good for the world as they saw fit.

Clover admired that, and right now, that kind of attitude he needed in abundance to fulfill his dreams.

Perhaps it was the attitude that best suited them towards their own dreams, as well.

“Well,” Clover said, “can’t you just fight without them?”

“Fight without the royal guard?” Jaune repeated.

“No one’s fought outside the purview of the general before,” Ren said.

Clover shrugged. “Is there any reason why you can’t be the first? You already have a team, you said yourselves that you’re willing to face evil, and if you’re as good as you say you are -- and with weapons like that, I’d bet you are -- then there’s no reason you shouldn’t be allowed to be heroes of Remnant in your own right! And if the royal guard doesn’t want you, well, then that’s their loss, right?”

Jaune released a hum, followed by Pyrrha, followed by Nora, followed by Ren.

In front of Clover, the group exchanged looks with each other, their frowns slowly rising until they became smiles.

“He’s right, you know,” Pyrrha said, waving an agreeing hand .

“There’s nothing illegal about it, after all,” Ren supplemented.

“General Ironwood’s not going to be happy about it,” Jaune said, all the while sporting a smirk that all but shouted how little he cared about that.

“Well,” Nora replied, shooting her friend a knowing smirk, “then he needs to write some better laws in the future because the Juniper Jaggers aren’t about to let anyone tell them ‘no’ so easily anymore!”

Jaune, Pyrrha, and Ren gave a holler, and even though he didn’t join in, Clover could feel his cheeks pinch from how big he was grinning.

Everyone then turned to Clover, and this time, he didn’t feel intimidated by the action.

“So,” Nora continued. “How about in return for reviving our dream, we make our first mission helping you save yours?”

Clover smirked. “To that, I’d say, ‘what do you have in mind?’”

Nora signaled for Clover and her teammates to look at Lil’ Miss Malachite, who was presently looking at Qrow with a greedy, sinister gaze.

“Robyn and her team aren’t bad, they’re just following their boss’ orders, but without her, they’ll change their tune quickly enough,” Nora said. “If we can get her away from them and Qrow, then we can unleash our secret weapon and get him free.”

“Secret weapon?” Clover asked.

In truth, he was eager to hear about how the Juniper Jaggers would fight them off.

Did they have a team attack? Did they have an ancient trinket or a powerful weapon to exchange for Qrow’s freedom?

“Yup. You.”

Clover blinked.

There is no way he heard that correctly.

“I’m sorry. What?” Clover questioned, begging to the Gods and his semblance alike that he misheard what she’d said.

“You were able to convince us to help you,” Jaune said. “No reason why you can’t do it with everyone else.”

That begging apparently went unheard.

Stupid semblance.

Stammering, Clover tried to come up with an objection.

“I-I can’t-”

“Sure you can!” Pyrrha said, waving a dismissive hand. “Just talk to them! They’re more receptive and kinder than they look.”

“But you guys know them be-”

“They’re not going to listen to us,” Ren said, interrupting him, though blushing immediately afterwards while whispering an apology.

“For some reason, they think we’re annoying, so they just drown out whatever we say,” Jaune explained.

“But you’re new and interesting!” Nora countered.

“And you haven’t worn people out yet,” Ren added.

“Not to mention, you’re kind of good looking with those muscles of yours,” Jaune admitted.

“And you’ve got a good heart,” Pyrrha finished off.

“Guys,” Clover protested. “I could barely talk to you. I almost wasn’t going to until I got pushed into Nora.”

“But even though you were scared, you did,” Ren pointed out.

“You’re braver than you think you are,” Pyrrha promised.

“And you’ve got what it takes to fulfill your dream,” Jaune said.

“So what do you say?” Nora asked.

Well, it was either do this or lose his dream.

There wasn’t much of a choice to be made, and just like the Juniper Jaggers, Clover wasn’t about to let the world tell him ‘no’ so easily anymore.

His resolve didn’t make the deep breath he took any less shaky, but he nodded all the same.

“Let’s do this,” Clover said, however uneasily.

The team nodded at him before bringing him in close and telling him how they’d distract Lil’ Miss Malachite, as well as how much time they theorized Clover had to work with before the guards arrived.

It was going to be hard -- Clover would dare say impossible.

But he had already done a few things today he never thought would be possible for him. What was one more?

In any event, for whatever bravery Clover either had prior to or garnered today, he knew now that it was about to be put to the ultimate test.

#fair game #clover ebi #rwby #qrow branwen #tangled au #jaune arc #pyrrha nikos #lie ren #nora valkyrie #raven branwen

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artificialqueens · 4 years

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Under The Christmas Tree (Branjie) - houseofhytes, hy-jinkx

A/N: We both had a ton of fun working on this, and wanted to write something super fluffy for the holiday season, so why not a domestic lil kid fic?

You can also read on AO3!

When the end credits finally started rolling, Brooke couldn’t hold back her smile at the sight of her little family sprawled out on the couch. It was, in more ways than one, the perfect picture of domestic bliss, and she still couldn’t believe that she of all people had been blessed with something so very precious.

Luca was cuddled up to his mama, his eyes just as teary as Vanessa’s after watching the festive display on television, the Christmas lights and cheerful songs more than enough to make those two emotional babies soft. It wasn’t the first time for them to cry over something small, the both of them always so sensitive, but it always warmed Brooke’s heart. Luca had clearly inherited Vanessa’s love for everything cuddly and sweet, while his personality itself had Brooke Lynn written all over it, impossibly calm and gentle, yet determined and headstrong when it came down to it.

Leo had ended up right in between Brooke and Vanessa at some point. When the movie had started, his overly energetic self had been way too excited to keep back any of the comments rolling off his tongue, the animated energy just radiating off him as he talked all of their heads off. In the end however, his eyes had quickly started to close as he rested his head on Brooke’s side, the music and the sound of the television in the background quickly making him nod off to sleep before the movie ended.

Little Rosalie wasn’t in a much better state, resting on Brooke’s lap with a fluffy blanket draped over the two of them, absentmindedly sucking on her thumb as she tried to keep her head from falling. Her long eyelashes fluttered as the small girl struggled to keep her eyes open, desperately trying to fight the need for sleep so that she could stay awake on Christmas Eve. Normally Brooke or Vanessa would have pulled the thumb out of her mouth, in fear of it becoming a habit and ruining her teeth in the long run. Today, however, the look of the four year old fighting back sleep was just simply too adorable to say something about it, instead letting her indulge for the night as she nuzzled her head against Brooke’s chest.

“Okay babies, time to brush our teeth and go to bed.” Brooke gently attempted to shake Leo awake, laughing as the boy groaned and tried to bury his face deeper into her side, clearly not in the mood to leave his comfy spot between his mommies. Brooke and Vanessa both almost felt bad that they couldn’t carry him to bed anymore, the boys having grown so much over the past few months that it had gotten a lot harder for either of the women to move them into the bedroom without waking them up in the process.

“Don’t wanna go to bed,” he mumbled sleepily as Vanessa teasingly ruffled his hair, leaning over him as she kissed his forehead.

“Oh? So you don’t want Santa to come no more, is that it? Should I just let your mommy call and tell him that the three of you don’t want no presents this year? How rude!” Vanessa joked, tickling his sides as the boy threw his head back laughing, trying to squirm away from his mother’s iron grip as he protested.

“Can we sleep in your bed tonight, mommy?” Luca muttered, his big brown eyes staring at Brooke, reminding her so much of Vanessa’s that it made her heart swell, making it impossible to not give into his request. She had never been good at saying no to any of her wife’s requests, and the same went for their children, especially when they looked so very adorable in their spiderman pyjamas.

“Just this once Peanut, but we do need to head to bed now, ‘kay? Because Santa won’t come if he knows you’re still awake.” Both boys dutifully nodded, taking their blankets with them as they headed over to brush their teeth, leaving their mothers and little sister on the couch.

“You too, little Miss Rosie Posie” Vanessa cooed, stroking the soft cheek of the small girl who was still sitting on her mother’s lap, comfortably warm with the blanket covering her as she her worn-out teddy bear close to her face. Her eyes nearly closed as she buried herself deeper into Brooke’s arms.

“…I’m tired…”

The sight of those big blue eyes fighting to stay open was way too endearing.

“You want one of us to carry you, darling?” Brooke asked, nearly having to hold back a yawn herself as she spoke the words, the domestic scene making her feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside as she felt herself fully relax.

“Want mama to carry me…” she mumbled, reaching her little arms out to Vanessa who lifted her out of Brooke’s arms with ease. Every inch of their little girl reminded her of Brooke, making her heart burst whenever she looked at her.

“You so sweet baby, so damn sweet-” She whispered into the crown of her head, even though she could tell their daughter was already fast asleep by the deep breaths she took against the crook of her neck.

When the two women walked into their bedroom, their hearts swelled at the sight of their two boys cuddled up under the sheets. The large bed made them look impossibly small as they buried their noses into the small blankets Brooke’s mom had bought for them when they were infants. They were clearly close to drifting off, fighting to stay awake just so that they could say goodnight.

Brooke curled up next to them, allowing the boys to snuggle up to her as Vanessa carefully put Rosalie down on the other side of the bed, trying not to wake her in the process. It proved to be difficult, since their little monkey had fully clung onto her, her small hand tangled in Vanessa’s hair as her little feet locked her in at the waist. But in the end, she was able to safely place their youngest into the bed, her soft breathing indicating that she hadn’t noticed any of her mama’s struggle.

“Mama, how will Santa come into our house, does he have a key?” Leo muttered sleepily, his mind still fixed on the mystery man who would hopefully bring him everything he had written down on his list a few weeks ago. The boys hadn’t been able to stop talking about Santa that day, evidently excited by the magic of it all. They were at the perfect age where they still believed so wholeheartedly, and Brooke and Vanessa couldn’t help but find it adorable.

“Through the chimney, lil’man” Vanessa softly smiled at her son, revelling in the innocence of their children. She herself had always loved the magic of the holiday season when she was a kid, believing in Santa until she was in her early teens, just because she loved the tradition so much.

She never wanted them to lose that feeling.

Luca’s little brows furrowed, looking at Vanessa in confusion. “But mama, we don’t have a chimney?”

Brooke had to hold back laughter at the sudden look of panic on the twin’s small faces at the idea of not getting any presents. Vanessa’s face matching their look of shock as she realised what she had just said.

Oh lord.

“Your mama is just being silly peanuts, Santa’s belly is way too big to come down through a chimney anyway, he just knocks on the door until we open it”

Both boys breathed a sigh of relief, clearly reassured by Brooke’s simple explanation, or just way too tired to further interrogate them. Vanessa nervously laughed, mouthing a silent thank you towards Brooke who had to hold in her laughter at the ridiculous scene.

Vanessa leaned over to place a kiss on the childrens’ foreheads, stroking the locks of hair out of their eyes before whispering a muted goodnight. Brooke did the same thing, before moving over to their daughter and pressing a kiss into her soft hair, tucking them all in before turning off the lights. They then tried to leave without making any noise, even though it wasn’t necessary.

Their three angels were already dreaming of a snowy christmas and a pile of presents before they even managed to close the door behind them.

“They’re getting so big now,” Brooke whispered after closing the door, settling down on the carpet in front of their brightly lit Christmas tree. It took a second for Vanessa to join her on the floor, her arms filled with a bunch of wrapping paper and craft supplies that she promptly dropped on the floor. The items sprawled out on the rug as the both of them started their last minute preparations.

As a small family tradition, they always left a few presents that still needed to be wrapped until Christmas eve, so that they could spend some much needed alone time together to make the final adjustments. A moment that was usually filled with tons of excitement over what the next day would bring.

“Tell me ‘bout it, Rosalie will probably be taller than me by the time she’s six!” She muttered, almost sounding resentful even though Brooke knew she was most definitely teasing. She had to admit that Vanessa was probably at least partially right though. If Rosalie was anything like Brooke at that age, that would definitely be the case.

“Do you still remember when we found out we were having the twins? I think I still haven’t recovered from that shock…” Brooke couldn’t help but reminiscent a little bit, always feeling a bit nostalgic whenever the holiday season started approaching.

Vanessa just laughed as she started wrapping some of the smaller gifts that were meant to go in the bright red and green christmas stockings that were hanging next to the christmas tree.

“Baby, you don’t need to remind me. It was all worth it in the end, but best believe that pregnancy was somethin’ out of a horror movie!”

Back in the day, it had never occurred to them that getting pregnant might become an issue. They hadn’t even considered that struggling to conceive was something that could possibly happen to them. The both of them so hopelessly optimistic, yet still slightly naive at the same time. Their longing for a child had seemed all-consuming at the time, a missing piece in their lives that the couple desperately wanted to fill.

Vanessa could see it in Brooke whenever she interacted with one of their many nieces and nephews, the sudden extra layer of softness and care so apparent in all of her actions as she played with them. Brooke, on the other hand, first noticed the growing need in Vanessa whenever they passed by the local playground in the park close to their apartment, the brunette’s eyes filling with tenderness at the sight of happy toddlers playing and going down the slide. It was clear from day one that they wanted to be parents.

So when Vanessa finally started fertility treatment, they had been over the moon, thoroughly convinced that it would be a walk in the park for them. It just had to be. It was written in the stars.

When the first pregnancy test had come back negative, they hadn’t been phased by it in the slightest, it was just a slight setback in their otherwise foolproof plan. But it wasn’t just that first test that came back negative. The words not pregnant popped up on the second test as well. And the third, the fourth and the fifth tests too. None of them told the couple what they so badly wanted to hear, resulting in a lot of tears shed. Vanessa’s sobs were filled with guilt and despair, angry tears that threatened to consume her, her soul filled with an unbelievable amount of sadness. Brooke’s tears were full of hopelessness and frustration, because she hated the feeling of not being in control, hated not being able to help her wife.

But just when they were about to give up, they got their first positive on the sixth test.

“You did amazing though, I wouldn’t have been able to do it.” Brooke smiled tenderly at Vanessa, who had started wrapping the huge purple dollhouse they had bought for Rosalie a few weeks ago, the gift so big that it barely fit into the light blue wrapping paper.

“I really wouldn’t have changed it for anything.” Brooke knew Vanessa was speaking the truth, but she still couldn’t help but admire her.

The pregnancy had been rough to say the least. The first few months were filled with various aches and pains, almost daily morning sickness that never seemed to end, and the wildest, most disgusting cravings a human being could ever imagine. Brooke had been right there by Vanessa’s side through it all. Holding her hair whenever she was hunched over the toilet, taking over the cooking and cleaning duties just so that she could rest a little bit longer, giving her elaborate back rubs whenever she complained about the growing pressure in her back.

And then, just when they thought they finally had it all under control, the doctor gleefully informed them that they better prepare, because they weren’t just expecting one baby. No, they were expecting two.

And Vanessa had never seen the blood drain from Brooke’s face as fast as it had that day.

Now they could both laugh about it, but back then, they felt like scared fools because they had no idea what they were doing.

The rest of the pregnancy had been filled with some of the best and some of the worst moments of their lives. Decorating the baby room, picking out coordinating onesies, discussioning baby names for hours on end.

Those were the moments that made it count, made it all worth it in the long run.

Yet all of the sleepless nights, worry-inducing doctors visits, and emotional meltdowns weighed heavily on them. It was one of the most stressful experiences they had ever gone through.

But no matter how hard it had been, they couldn’t help but look back on that time with fondness.

Because it made them stronger, and gave them two of the greatest gifts they had ever received.

“I do envy you though, I only had to look at your fine ass and just a quick second later you were knocked up.“

“Excuse me?” Brooke snorted, desperately wanting to look offended even though she couldn’t help but crack up at the sight of the cocky look on Vanessa’s face.

“Don’t try tellin’ me it ain’t true, Mary. I was there”

Okay sure, maybe Vanessa was kinda right. After the hellish pregnancy with the twins, Vanessa really hadn’t been open to carrying another child. Even though her heart desperately wanted another baby, she wasn’t sure whether her body was capable of going through it all again.

Luckily, the obvious solution had been right in front of their noses the whole time.

So even though Brooke was beyond freightened, she still threw all of her fears out of the window, because she knew that as long as she had Vanessa by her side, everything would be fine.

And to their surprise, almost exactly nine months after making that critical decision, little Rosalie was born.

“Okay, maybe you’re kinda right,” Brooke laughed.

Compared to Vanessa’s pregnancy, Brooke’s had been a breeze. No cravings, no morning sickness…nothing. She didn’t even start showing until she was around four months. Vanessa had wanted to hover over her like a mother hen, trying to get her to sit down and take a break every couple of seconds. She could still vividly recall her wife scolding her, telling her that she was insane for working until two weeks before her due date. But Brooke had just shrugged her off, telling her that she and their baby girl were totally fine.

And she had been completely right, like usual.

Vanessa just shrugged, a smug smile on her face as she concentrated on the gifts in front of her, the next statement coming out way more casual than it should have.

“Well, on the plus side, at least now we know who’s gonna carry the next one”

Brooke nearly spat out her hot chocolate after hearing that comment.

“Next one? You want another one?!” She couldn’t tell whether her wife was messing with her, or being deadly serious. With Vanessa, one could never be fully sure, and that tended to scare the living daylights out of Brooke more often than not.

“Have you looked at our kids? They’re stinkin’ adorable! I want at least a full basketball team of ‘em ” Vanessa stated matter-of-factly, like she just knew it was going to happen no matter what.

“You’re crazy…” Brooke muttered out of disbelief, laughing at the determined look in Vanessa’s eyes as she shook her head, trying to hide the fact that in some ways, the idea did seem terribly tempting.

“You can say I’m crazy now, but lemme tell you, I just know. Don’t doubt my sixth-sense Miss Hytes-Mateo. Just you wait!” Vanessa winked at her, evidently teasing, even though there was definitely truth to those words.

And honestly, Brooke was whipped either way, so she didn’t doubt that Vanessa’s crazy dream could become a reality one day.

Brooke and Vanessa continued reminiscing as they wrapped presents for their children, time flying past once they hit a groove. They laughed about the crazy things their kids had done throughout the years and teared up over how quickly they were growing up. The entire time, they did their best to keep their voices down, not wanting to accidentally wake one of the kids up.

By the time they had finished wrapping presents and stacking them neatly beneath the tree, it was just after one in the morning. While Vanessa cleaned up the scraps of wrapping paper in the living room, Brooke took their mugs into the kitchen.

As she washed the two hot chocolate mugs, Brooke found herself humming excitedly. She couldn’t wait to see the way their kids’ eyes would light up the next morning, enamored by the magic of the holiday. It was a sight Brooke would never tire of, especially when Vanessa often looked just as excited as the kids.

Brooke wasn’t quite sure how she ended up quite so lucky. Finding the love of her life, getting to have a family with her - it was all she had ever wanted and so much more. Vanessa was kind, charismatic, and loved her more than anyone else ever had. It made her emotional just to think about.

She did her best to fight back a couple stray tears of joy while she dried the mugs off. As she was setting them on the rack beside the sink to dry, Brooke felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist, accompanied by a soft kiss on the back of her shoulder. Brooke turned around in Vanessa’s arms, only to watch her wife’s face change from one of joy to one of concern.

“Baby, why do your eyes look all puffy?” She asked softly, one hand cupping Brooke’s cheek. “Have you been crying?”

“I’m fine,” Brooke promised, though by the look her wife gave her, she could tell Vanessa didn’t exactly believe her. “Just got emotional thinking about how lucky I am to have you and the kids.”

“Aw, baby,” Vanessa cooed, then kissed Brooke on the cheek. “We both got lucky, m'kay?”

Brooke nodded her head gently, a soft smile spreading across her face as Vanessa’s arms tightened around her, pulling her in for a hug.

No matter what happened, no matter what they went through, she had always felt at home in Vanessa’s arms. Vanessa made her feel loved in a way no one else ever had, something she was incredibly grateful for as the pair stood there hugging each other tightly.

Vanessa began to rock side to side subtly as she hugged Brooke, humming softly to soothe her wife. But soon enough, Vanessa’s rocking turned into swaying, and Brooke found herself swaying with her wife. She let her chin gently rest on top of Vanessa’s head as her eyes fluttered shut.

Moments like these were the reason why she had fallen in love with Vanessa in the first place.

Brooke drew back just a little, enough to grab one of Vanessa’s hands and spin her around. Her heart felt like it was soaring when she heard Vanessa let out a soft laugh as she spun around once, then twice. Vanessa’s hands came to rest on Brooke’s shoulders once she stopped spinning, standing on her tiptoes to press a brief, soft kiss against Brooke’s lips.

“I love you,” Vanessa murmured softly, flashing a smile up at her wife.

“I love you too,” Brooke whispered back, then placed a gentle kiss on Vanessa’s forehead. “C'mon, let’s go to bed now.”

Hand in hand, the couple made their way back to their bedroom, taking special care to avoid stepping on creaky floorboards or making any other noises that could wake up their children. The moment they stepped into their bedroom, they could see the little ones curled up together on one side of the bed. Rosalie was lying half on top of Luca, who was snoring lightly. Leo, on the other hand, seemed to only be half asleep, stirring as Brooke and Vanessa carefully climbed into bed.

“Mommy?” Leo mumbled sleepily, heavy eyes barely opening enough to squint at his moms.

“Shhh, go back to sleep sweetheart,” Brooke whispered, putting a single finger to her lips in an attempt to keep him quiet. Leo nodded his head in response, but rather than closing his eyes and dozing off once more, the little boy crawled over to cuddle up with Brooke, laying his head on her arm.

Brooke smiled softly, draping her free arm their little boy as she pulled the blanket over them. Vanessa mirrored Brooke’s movements, arms wrapping around her wife’s waist as she tucked her head into Brooke’s shoulder.

Leo was fast asleep within a matter of minutes, but it took the two women a bit longer to drift off. Just before falling asleep, Vanessa lifted her head up slightly, her eyes searching Brooke’s face to make sure she was still awake.

“B?” She whispered as quietly as possible, not wanting any of the kids to wake up again.

“Mmm?” Brooke hummed in response, too tired to even open her eyes.

“Merry Christmas, Brookie.”

“Merry Christmas, Nessa.”

As they finally drifted off to sleep that night, they both knew what the next morning would entail. Excited squeals from the kids, their cats darting out of the room as the little ones and the family dog ran straight to the living room. They would all sit on the floor in a circle by the tree, passing presents around and eagerly watching each other open them as Brooke and Vanessa took dozens of pictures. It was something they experienced every year, but never grew tired of, didn’t think they would ever grow tired of, no matter how old the kids got. Because that was what made Christmas feel like Christmas to them.

It wasn’t about the lights or the tree, nor was it about matching pajamas and baking cookies. It was about spending time together as a family, and the light their children brought into their lives. After all, being able to start a family had changed their lives for the better.

#rpdr fanfiction #branjie #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #lesbian au #holiday fic #christmas #kid fic #fluff #hy jinkx #houseofhytes #concrit welcome #submission #parenting au

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dippedanddripped · 4 years

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A Q&A With Keary Kase On Pioneering Hip Hop In Portland

Trenton, NJ born rapper Keary Kase is now pioneering hip hop from Portland, Oregon. After having been involved in a Nike ad campaign that featured him on Billboards across the US, Keary’s singles began to top the radio charts. He began to work with artists like The Wutang Clan and producers Bosko and Non-Stop Da Hitman. Most recently, he partnered with Adidas designers in Portland to develop ‘Reder’ – an athletic apparel brand with focus on CBD delivery systems for athletes who are recovering from injuries.

We had the chance to sit down with Keary Kase to talk about Portland’s thriving hip hop scene, his Nike campaign, and what fans and followers can expect in 2020.

Tell us a little bit about the hip hop scene in Portland. We’d love to know more!

Portland hip hop has so many facets, I’m not sure where to begin. We do have a solid foundation of originals, like Mic Crenshaw, Cool Nutz, Mellenium (Kenny Mack), Maniac Lok, Bosko, Vursatyl, X-Kid, DJ Wicked, Pete Miser and myself, who are still active.

Having strong artists, who have made careers in Hip Hop, as role models and idols allows the kids to aspire to become musical artists. Without these examples, the endless call to normalcy and job security (which we all now know is B/S) by pretty much EVERYBODY, would lead these young Ore-guns to self doubt and failure.

Mike Capes, Swiggle Mandela, Drae Steve’s, JR Patton and Keith Canvas are a few Portland artists to check out.

Right now, a lot of artists are showing support to the BLM movement using their voices to speak, rather than rap to those participating in protests, rallies and such.

How do you feel being originally from the east coast has affected your musical style?

In my embryonic years, I saw myself as an east coast rapper. I felt like, with the exception of rappers like Ice T, Too Short, NWA and The DOC, west coast rappers were mostly basic compared to east coast rappers. They had KRS, Big Daddy Kane, Slick Rick (my favorite golden era rapper), Special ED, Kool G Rap & Polo, RAKIM!!! Plus WBLS used to play all the hot new shit off the block.

I was enamored by east coast swagger and tone. The slang and accent was natural for me because my entire family spoke with it. My ability to slip in and out of the style made me different in Portland.

In the early 90’s I started spending time in LA. I was slanging FIMO beads to tourists at Venice Beach in the daylight and going to clubs and shows at night. I met this dude named Self Jupiter at this summer festival called The African Marketplace, where I was selling jewelry and celebrating my black youth. Jupiter was a member of a rap group called Freestyle Fellowship. He gave me a tape. After I listened to it, my entire opinion of west coast hip hop was turned upside down. I witnessed west coast rappers like Volume 10, WC, Divine Styler, Cypress Hill and E40 change the game. I became influenced by them and my style was set free. I became open to all influences, no matter if they came from the east, west, northwest, midwest or south.

Tell us more about the Nike ad campaign you were featured in. How did that come about?

One day I was leaving my boy Tommy Hestmark’s studio in downtown Portland. I was walking down the street with my back straight and my chest and chin up, as all men and women should. This guy approached me and said “excuse me, can I talk to you?” I looked at him sideways and he says “no, no. It’s just…. Your face is CRAZY!” I squinted as if to say “do you hear yourself fool?” He pulls out a card and explains that he owned a modeling agency and he thought my look was money. He asked me to call to schedule a test shoot. I called and scheduled the shoot. When I went there, he asked me if I was wearing boxers. I confirmed, then he asked me if I would take some test shots in my boxers. I’m thinking this dude is either going to proposition me for sex or he wants to see if I can be the next face of Calvin Klein. I gambled on Calvin Klein and agreed to take the pics. We walked into a hall and he said “you can get undressed here,” then walked away. So there I stood baring all that my boxers would not cover, with my clothes in a small pile on the floor. I heard footsteps, then an attractive woman appears holding a camera. It was his wife. She told me where to stand , took a couple quick pics and said “Keary, you’re a machine,” then allowed me to get dressed and walked me out.

A few weeks later they called me back and said a photographer knew of me and wanted to do a martial arts shoot. There was no pay, but the photographer was well known and really good. I had no portfolio, and no published work so this was an opportunity to do TFP to add to my comp card.

The photographer, Marcus Swanson, wanted me to do a flying sidekick, which is a classic taekwondo photo kick. When I got there, there was nowhere to get a running start so I improvised and pulled it off. While I was there, a Nike scout was lurking. As I was leaving, Marcus’ assistant, Amber Geiger, mentioned a potential shoot for Nike and asked if they could do a quick polaroid. Snap snap and I was out. A few months passed by before I got a call back from my agent about the shoot. In those few months, I became a black belt, won a gold medal at the the regional national qualification tournament in the black belt dividion, then a silver medal at the US National Championship, and was leaving in a few days to go whoop everybody’s ass at the invitational US Team Trials. It didn’t play out that way but I believe being so active in the few months between the martial arts test shoot and the paid shoot is what influenced their decision to go with me for the ad campaign. We agreed on a date and time, after my return, for the shoot.

When I got back, we did the shoot. I thought it was going to be light work but it was brutal. Modeling is hardcore. I remember seeing myself on a billboard for the first time. It felt like a distant relative to masturbation. I also remember it taking forever to get my money. Agencies can be gangster. I had to make some very firm promises before I got the check. After that, our relationship became square.

You have worked with several platinum artists and producers. Do you have any memorable stories about your experiences that you’d like to share?

Hmm. I don’t like to deride or D-RIDE anyone, but there was an interesting encounter with a Wu-Tang Clan member named Cappadonna. Cappadonna, Killa Priest and a small crew they were touring with were staying at my house when they stopped through Portland. My roommate, MyG, was helping them do some business in Portland while they killed time before their next tour date. At the time, we had a lil 5 bedroom spread with 2 recording studios in it, so we let their whole crew crash at the spot. The house was already like a revolving door for whoever was on tour in the NW. Artists could come through while in town and collab, get local pub through us and be blessed with some Oregon grown greeneries for the road.

So this was the first time we met (Cappadonna & I). I was taking acting classes at the time so I was gone when they pulled up. When I got home after class, Cappadonna was in the booth. I walked in the room and he started talking wild like “aye yo break that nigga watch!…stab that nigga!” I’m standing in a room full of dudes, with New York energy, that I don’t know, so I assumed he was talking about me. I dip out to my room and get a screwdriver just so I have something in my hand incase things go left. A few minutes pass, then MyG tells Cappadonna to move on to the next part. At this moment I realize he’s in character and not talking about me at all. Killah Priest enters the room. We introduce ourselves and dap up. He asks me what I do and I tell him that I’m in acting school. When Cap comes out, KP says “this is Kase, he’s an actor.” They gave each other a look that, to me , expressed what he spoke as “this is Kase, he’s a fake nigga.”

Granted, I’ve been a skater since day 1, so I understand that some black people (especially at the time) associate being a black skater with being less black or more white. With that in mind, I let what he said breeze by.

After we blessed up, we got to the business. Bosko had let me hold a beat that I wrote a sticky verse to; Cappa liked it so I let him put a hook on it. Me and KP did a DOPE song on a track that this dude named Smoke produced. It sounded like some official Wu-affiliate shit. MyG lost the session so none of that material was ever released.

The next day the energy still felt suspect. Like they thought I was a suburban negro, lol. I took them to the block, which is now gentrified, but was still hood at the time. Cappa called my whip a 666. It was the same Denali XL with the same 26” Trump Spinners that was in the video for the song he was promoting at the time, but mine was cleaner. It seemed like he felt a way about it. We went to my mom’s restaurant, where Cappa requested a Psalms verse from my mother. She said “how about a Revelation,” and laced all of us.

I dropped them at the barber shop to get faded and bladed. When they came out, the energy was different. Cappadonna got in and said “you know your hood and your hood knows you. He said you put your moms in that restaurant, didn’t you?” I just looked at him and put my hand out. We dapped up and the respect, which was first being given by me and received by him, suddenly felt mutual.

Cappadonna is a wise dude and a beast MC. I asked him questions related to his lyrics. He explained to me what “God Degree” and “7:30” meant and told me the story of the origin of his name. You might be able to detect that I’m most definitely still a Wu-Tang fan, although I liked his earlier work. KP knows what I mean by that.

Tell us about your involvement with the CBD industry and your views on how it can be a therapeutic tool for people?

CBD is my go-to treatment for a number of conditions. If I am anxious, I use a non-psychoactive tincture. This gives me a general sense of well-being, without making me feel altered or high. I feel like myself on a good day. If I need to restful sleep, I employ a cannabinoid rich CBD blend that allows me to drift off into REM without jumping up 100 times to make sure the garage door is closed (or whatever). Using CBD is like taking premium vitamins.

In 2019, I started a company called Nina Botanica with a material designer who works for Adidas in Portland. I began researching how to use compression technology as a CBD delivery system for athletic injury rehabilitation. There are some products on the market that offer a similar product, but none that fully address the issues of muscle strains, tears and associated pain that can knock an athlete off of their game. What sets us apart is, our CBD compression system has a lifetime guarantee. You can use it until you’re tired of using it.

We also designed a pod based delivery system, called the NINA , with Shenzen based technology company Smoore. The smart hexagonal pod + cartridge system uses inductive charging in place of the industry standard USB to power up.

Due to COVID-19 and our current bout with systemic racism, the techy products will be in preliminary production until mid-late 2021.

Tell us about your latest project “Craze”. Who is involved and what inspired it?

I was a week back on after being off music for years. Just getting my lungs back, not planning on dropping anything yet; just warming up. An artist named Uneek, who had been my mentee for several years, reached out. He was talking about how he blew all of his savings on medical expenses for his seed and how William, Lil Willi and Big Bill were all coming for him at once. He had just got robbed in Atlanta, so he was shy about who he could trust in Portland.

Uneek asked me to help him to rebrand himself and act as a manager, as I did in the beginning of his career. Since he had just found the strength to come out about his sexual identity, he wanted to look to the LBGTQ community for support. Since that was outside of my sphere of influence, I decided to help him generate some traffic in his home studio, offering tracking and mixing as an engineer. I told him we could put out a mixtape to re-introduce him to his followers and the rest of the world. I got 15 tracks from producers, Sixteen and J Doe. I wanted to see how serious he was about his career so I told him to put hooks on all 15. He would send me a rough lyric or melody, then I would write or rewrite the lyrics then massage the melody and coach him on how to execute it. After he did it, I would chop it and arrange it in a Logic, while I was on the road.

Once the mixtape concepts were in the bag, I told him we needed a real record to kick it off. There was a lot of material in his catalog, but nothing that sounded like a hit single to me.

He got a track from this lil dude named 64 and put a hook on it that had us laughing. He was like “yeah this track sound like something Da Baby would get on.” It wasn’t my style, really, but I kept getting drawn into the drums. I let the first line go off the top then it seemed like the rest of the lyrics were just there. We called it “She A Thot.” It dropped on all platforms back in April of this year.

Craze, the follow up single, manifested itself off of the vibe we were on after “She A Thot” dropped. 64 had sent us a 3 pack of beats so it had some of the same feel as the others, however, the “Craze” beat was much more elegant than the other two.It was like the bigger, sexier, more mature and pondering sister of the “She A Thot” beat.

When I started writing, I felt the beat asking me to confess. It was saying “tell your truth, Kase.” The melody in my head was so balanced that I just let it drive through the first verse. I remembered, as a young man, being so caught up in hustling that I lost my compassion for people. I reflected on how I had spent the last decade, since my first daughter was born, re-approaching life with more compassion.

Whatever you have done in your past does not define you. But sometimes it’s good to talk about it. Black people have traditionally been afraid of counseling or therapy. Mostly because of our trust issues with the people providing those services. I strongly suggest talking to someone about the things that trouble you. My uncle Jeff calls it “dumping.”

Music is my therapy. Dumping is my new craze.

What artists are you listening to right now and why?

I like listening to new music. I’m listening to Lil Durk, Pop Smoke, Amine, Jack Harlow, etc. But that’s like research for me. I like to see and hear what the big dogs are investing in. But right now, I’m developing a K-Pop artist, so I’m listening Big Hit Entertainment’s people. I’m about to go over there and liberate some musical slaves. (*artists)

But I still listen to Sade.

What’s next for you in 2020? What can fans look forward to?

I’m dropping a mixtape later this month. I may be doing a record + video with Compton artist, AD in the next few weeks. We’re still working out the details, but he’s doing real good right now.

Other than that, I’m developing a young K-Pop idol named Kiari. That genre is making big waves. I’m also looking at television as a next play. I have a pocket ace in the Chinese market that I’m keeping tucked. Oh I’m doing business with China. Sorry Chump…I mean, Sorry Trump. No, wait, I had it right the first time.

#keary kase #pdx hiphop artist #pdx artist #portland oregon #music blog

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gg-astrology · 5 years

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i love your blog! can you do a cap sun aqua moon for the sun moon placements?

Thank u so much!! 💕💕💕 I’m glad I got this request cause its the last of the Cap combos skdjnfkjsnk im so proud and excited! 💕

[Below Cut: Capricorn Sun - Aquarius Moon 🥊]

Capricorn/Aquarius combo can be rather playful, might have lots of friends and enjoys mental stimulation from others (parrying)

It’s not all serious honestly-- on the outside, you have these combos who rather enjoys humour and being comfortable with laying it down thickly on others too (it’s good when you ‘sense’ them out and they can ‘take’ something a lil more unconventional-- your particular ‘niche’ brand of humour. You like surprising people, but you like chemistry/the way they parry back even more. A rhythm to your game is what you’re after, someone who can meet you toe to toe)

You like people who are odd, a little different from you and can talk about their independency/experience when you get together. You like learning, about others because it expands your mind (Aquarius) and that’s good for you because you genuinely enjoy the company of those around you and appreciate them ( ‘good for you buddy, im happy/proud of you!’)

While on the outside you may also be a practical, very very deeply considerate and thoughtful/caring person (the kind of person who-- if was in a horror movie-- would get their head together and be the one that Makes the Most Sense). On the inside you revel in your Chaos (Chaotic Nature)

There’s a reason Capricorn is associated to the devil, and no it’s because they are the devil--- it’s because you have this rebellious nature about you that’s lurking on the inside. Seeking to know, to find out, to question the norm/tradition. Everything can be changed ‘for the better’-- and with you, you have an understanding/appreciation of traditional modes already (Capricorn) thus why you’re breaking the system from the inside out. Or rather, you use your ingeniously to help smoothen the glide for others to see things from your perspective, that not eveything they’ve learnt/taken/been told is true and that there’s leaks in every ‘formula’ that people follow blindly.

Even when above the surface, you are cool and collected as a cucumber (cutecumber-- you like to ‘keep appearance’ so you can be devilish/do your plotting inside) Underneath all that is a competitive spirit, especially when it comes to debates.

If the venue allows you to exert yourself (physically/mentally) within a context that is structured/stabilized (established) and you can have a certain amount of freedom/expression of passion ---wow you really go in for it

Capricorn/Aquarius are intelligent, charismatic and isn’t afraid to be bold. Most of the time they aren’t even aware they’re being bold, they’re just following their own paths-- just like how everyone should follow their own, y know?

It’s stress relieving for you, to exert yourself into something. Throw yourself in and just ‘get it right’ -- when you’re demonstrative, you have power. And with that power comes confidence (other people see it as you being level-headed/critical)

You might not realize it, but when you do something you get tunnel visioned into it a lot. And other people can see that and be attracted to your passionate nature ( a very classic, uniformed/looks good in official kind of nature)

You’re often unaware of your own attractiveness or why people think you’re good, mostly you’re just doing it for you. And that’s all that you’re doing, sometimes you’re--- cynical, of people coming towards you wanting a light-hearted something. You need an explanation, a 10 pages essay outlining exactly what it is about you that people like. Although you know full well you attract people to you (might like the attention it brings, the importance/significance it gives to your ego-- which is healthy and valid, and not narcissistic or bad don’t worry, it’s important to feel appreciated and desired for everyone. )

Whilst we talk about all that, it jus means that you work hard and you don’t like to think yourself of ever stopping. Stopping means you become a ‘fixed’ motion-- and with that, you don’t know how to ‘start’ again.

Capricorn cardinal nature combine with Aquarius gives you two things--- you either workaholic it out or you stop and then take soo looong to start on something again. Because you’re careful, thorough, and want to know everything it entails before you start on it.

You want your passion to last, you don’t want to stop half way. You absolutely won’t stand for half-assery. And being incompetent in anyway is jus-- not up to par/unacceptable for you.

This is your ethic, both just outside and also your worth ethic. You’re a hard-worker, always focused on more/different/things you can grind and focus yourself in (there’s a bit of anxious/nervous energy in you if you don’t put yourself to work)

Your biggest ‘ugh’ moment is when you don’t have everything ‘prepared/ready’ -- especially if it ‘runs out halfway through’ -- you hate discarding things halfway.

Wastefulness of time/energy/resource or expecting you to ‘come back and finish’ something with the same enthusiasm is now up to your mood/whether you have something new to add or not now.

There’s an element to you that can be quite?? Moody?? even though you’re emotionally consistent. It’s like feeling wise, you’re mostly just objective and detached sometimes (even though you’re fun-loving and caring towards others). You can get through things quickly, work efficiently. But if someone expects you to know how to be emotionally sensitive/flexible then you’re completely lost on that cue.

You can sometimes be completely oblivious to other people’s wants/needs from you, especially if it’s like-- emotionality. When someone needs/wants something you expect them to say it out-loud/directly, so when it’s hidden from you. And is expected to come from delicacy/tactfulness you’re like ‘um...what was I supposed to do?’

You like to be taught if you don’t know things, and you don’t understand how everyone else knows it intuitively. In a way, your intuition is crap when it comes to navigating the social realm (personal -- take note from Cancer/Leo). You mostly have your suspicion and critical/cynical nature that adds to your analytical skills.

Learn how to ride a flow, a wave. Instead of sitting on the beach/stable ground all the time. You’ll have to get more in touch with your intuition, stops some part of your brain from over-working itself and making you stand at an ‘impass’ until you’re ‘ready’ to embark on a journey again.

Your overly thorough nature with how you approach/prepare for things makes you someone who skirts around a subject to ‘study’ it until you’re ready to ‘work on it/demonstrate/get into it’

Your motions (as mentioned before) are either ‘working’ (without thinking) or thinking too much (without working) -- no inbetweens.

Kinda short but sweet? 💕 I hope you enjoy it!! 💕💕

#capricorn sun #aquarius moon #capricorn #aquarius #capricorn-aquarius #anon #asks

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y-not-loki · 5 years

Text

I’ll Be Good | Bucky B.

Anon asked: I'll be good from Jaymes Young with Bucky x reader please? Thanks for sharing your writing, you are amazing!

(sure thing lil anon, and thank you so much! I do try my best when it comes to writing) (I’m so sorry about this, there’s a little bit of saltiness towards Steve and I swear I don’t hate him)

Warnings: N/A (character death?)

I thought I saw the devil This morning Looking in the mirror, drop of rum on my tongue With the warning To help me see myself clearer I never meant to start a fire I never meant to make you bleed I'll be a better man today

Bucky was panting, on the other side of the boxing ring that Tony had set up for them to fight in. That was the only place where they allowed no mercy against each other.

A flash of something dangerous appeared behind his eyes and he spat out the blood and spit in his mouth, before lunging at (Y/N).

He moved like a polar bear, large and dangerous, smart but heavy.

She moved like a snake, quick and sharp, small but powerful.

The fight was over quickly, Bucky having pinned (Y/N) down on the floor in a position that was hardly comfortable.

Silence was a comfortable thing between one who was healing, and one who was always thinking.

Silence was also a weight pressing against their relationship. Bucky never told her when he had a nightmare. Bucky never told her when he was about to turn into Winter. Bucky never told her how truly broken he was.

Now, he stood in front of a mirror. A reflection that wasn’t his stared back. Long, limp hair. Cold, merciless eyes. Lips parted slightly.

The edges of his vision blurred, and he couldn’t help the tears that formed in the corners of his eyes.

Who was he? Who did he used to be? He didn’t mean to turn into a monster, he didn’t want to kill all those people. He didn’t mean to hurt you.

I'll be good, I'll be good And I'll love the world, like I should Yeah, I'll be good, I'll be good For all of the time That I never could

The first time (Y/N) and Bucky met they’d been in the midst of a battle. He had shot her. And she’d been angry.

He’d put her in hospital, half dead, and the only people who brought her back were Shuri and Helen Cho, Bruce and Tony had been the ones to bring these two people together to bring back someone so pure.

She woke Bucky up. She reminded him so much of Steve, small and feisty, but uncontrollable and a wild card because she never gave up. In this new world, even Steve was different. Sure he was still buff, and still strong, but he was... he was expectant. As if he was looking for someone that Bucky wasn’t. He was looking for the old Bucky. But that Bucky died.

At least he knew that Steve couldn’t help it, Steve was only looking for someone who shared his memories, someone who he had been the closest to.

“I’ll be good.” Bucky whispered, rolling the words around his mouth, as if trying on a new outfit for his mentality. “I’ll be good for all the times that I was bad.” He whisper. (Y/N) had taught him that phrase. She’d taught him to forgive himself. She’d taught him that it wasn’t his fault, when the man wearing Steve’s skin couldn’t. Steve still cared, but he cared for someone else.

And it hurt that he couldn’t accept that Bucky wasn’t that man anymore.

My past has tasted bitter For years now So I wield an iron fist Grace is just weakness Or so I've been told I've been cold, I've been merciless But the blood on my hands scares me to death Maybe I'm waking up today

A million memories flashed across his mind as he stumbled into the community living room. He needed her. Her soothing hands, and healing voice, he needed her to hold him and reassure him.

“Bucky?” Her soft, lilting voice approached him slowly as his vision blurred. “Come with me.” Her voice hardened, and she guided him towards her room. Laying him down on her bed, she made sure he was comfortable and then leaned down to kiss his forehead, which was coated with a sheen of sweat. “Talk to me, Buck.” She whispered.

“I couldn’t help it.” He whimpered, eyes closing without his eyelids moving. “They died. They died because of me. Because of... because of this.” He gestured towards his metal arm, and started to pull on it, but (Y/N)’s soft hand on his flesh arm stopped him.

“And you were not in control. Hydra had you under its control. You may not be better now, but you are Bucky, you are not Winter.”

“I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore.” Bucky whispered, and (Y/N)’s lips turned upwards.

“Then you won’t hurt anyone. You are in control of what you can and cannot do.” She brushed his hair out of his face. “And I will support whatever decision you make.”

“Thank you.” Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for helping me. Thank you for keeping me afloat. Thank you.

I'll be good, I'll be good And I'll love the world, like I should I'll be good, I'll be good I'll be good, I'll be good

“First thing’s first, I’ll teach you to love life again.” She told him, they sat in the indoor garden that Bruce kept as a hobby. “Tell me what you see.”

“Beauty.” He told her, a smirk tugging at his lips as he stared at her and nothing more. She let out a light peal of laughter, and shook her head.

“No Buck, and whilst I am alive, I want you to show me what you think is beautiful in this garden, what you think is worth living for.”

“You....” He whispered, and she sighed, resting her head on his shoulder, his metal one.

“Love the surroundings, not the company. Love the world. Love the life on this planet. Show compassion for things that are permanent, not temporary. All humans will wilt out.” She looked at him with sorrowful eyes as he bundled her up in his arms. “I love you too, Buck, but you’ve for the Super Soldier serum, or some variety of it. You won’t age like I will. You won’t grow old and die like I will. Your regenerative cells will keep you going until the end.”

“I know.” He whispered. “But the pain is worth it.” He ran his metal fingers through her hair and reveled in the way that she didn’t flinch away from a weapon of destruction.

For all of the light that I shut out For all of the innocent things that I doubt For all of the bruises I've caused and the tears For all of the things that I've done all these years And all Yeah, for all of the sparks that I stomped out For all of the perfect things that I doubt

“So how have you been going with lesson one?” (Y/N) asked, the conversation from two days ago still on her mind.

“I’ll learn to love the world and life for you.” Bucky responded quietly, not looking up from where he was... sketching something? Steve must have taught Bucky how to draw and funnel his emotions through there. “I’ll learn to love life to repent for my sins, for the light that I have shut out, for the innocents I’ve killed, for the bruises I’ve given, and tears I’ve caused. I’ll learn to life to avenge those who died at my hands because of Hydra, I’ll relight the fires that I stomped out. I’ll live for you perfection and kind heart.”

“Wow Buck, when’d you come up with that one?” (Y/N) was mildly shocked, but from what Steve had told her, Bucky used to be charming and kind, and maybe it was starting to show through.

“I don’t know. I’ve just been thinking. Would the people who I killed want me to live? What about their living family? I mean, Tony went all destructo-bot on me when he found out I killed his-” Bucky cut himself off, choking on his own words that cut through him like a hot knife. He finished the sentence softly, “When he found out I killed his parents.”

(Y/N) placed her hands on both his shoulders, and bent down to look him in the eyes. “You.” She started firmly. “Did.” SHe squeezed his shoulders gently. “Not.” Bucky’s eyes flickered up to hers, where she was staring at his unnervingly. “Kill.” His eyes flickered up again, and then stayed there, taking in the burning fire in them. “Them.” She practically growled. He didn’t know if she was angry at him, or Hydra, or just angry in general.

Taking a deep breath, (Y/N) took her hands off him and stepped back. “Hydra killed them, not you.”

I'll be good, I'll be good And I'll love the world, like I should Yeah, I'll be good, I'll be good For all of the times I never could, oh, oh-oh Oh, oh Oh, oh-oh For all of the times I never could All of the times I never could

Bucky had a lot of pent up hatred directed towards Hydra, but he didn’t know how it could just destroy him from the inside like this.

They had killed her.

They had killed his life.

They had killed his love.

He couldn’t feel anything, nothing but hatred and pain. And sometimes he believed he never would feel again.

He would never feel until he destroyed Hydra, painfully and intimately, in a way that they would never forget, and if there were any survivors, they’d fear for the day that the Winter Soldier turned on them again.

But he’d live. He promised his (Y/N), and he wouldn’t wrong her in such a way, not when she was gone now.

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some-cookie-crumbz · 5 years

Text

A Lil’ Pep in it

A Lil’ Pep in it Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender Pairing: Shance Summary: Request fill for @shiranai-atsune featuring Lance realizing he’s got a crush on Shiro! This fic is set to take place somewhere between S1 and S2, simply because I thought that’d be a good point in the story for the scene I had in mind. Sorry this took me so long to get done with, but I hope you still enjoy it! :3 Standard Disclaimer: If you read and enjoy this, please give it a like/ reblog so I know if I should write more.

Sometimes Lance just couldn’t believe his luck. After all, how many people got to work directly with THE Takashi Shirogane?

Shiro, as they had all been informed to address him since falling under his command, had a well-deserved reputation as the best pilot to ever be turned out by the Garrison. The guy was naturally gifted, sure, but there was more to it than that! He had taken the time to hone that natural skill, to give it the care and attention needed to improve to the point he was breaking record after record. There was something undeniably admirable about that kind of dedication and tenacity. Lance himself had always felt like a part him belonged to the sky and stars, almost as much as he felt at ease in the gentle lull of waves on the beach back home.

And watching Shiro’s progress from the outside had only inspired him to work that much harder himself. He’d always dreamed that maybe, someday, he’d get to meet the Garrison’s golden boy.

After leading the mission to break Shiro out of the Garrison base and going space-bound in the Blue Lion, however, he was given more than just the chance to meet Shiro. No, instead, he was working directly under the man that had a huge hand in guiding Lance’s path in life. He wasn’t sure what he’d expected when he first got the chance to be the other man, and had even less of an idea as events played out following Lance’s brilliant rescue mission.

Shiro had been sure to thank them all for their help back at Keith’s shack, which certainly showed that he had some manners and humility, but then they found the Blue Lion. Suddenly, the five of them were shooting through space with no real idea of what they were facing off against. It was Shiro’s judgment that led them to go through the wormhole, a decision that was equal parts impulsive and necessary. It led them to planet Arus, where they met Allura and Coran, found the rest of the Lions, and BAM! Then they’re in the middle of a giant intergalactic war!

Not the most ideal situation, but somehow it was easy to forget. Shiro simply had this air to him that made you feel like, as long as you listened to him, everything would turn out just fine. Even in the dire situation they found themselves in, there were still moments where they were able to laugh and enjoy each other’s company. And, even in battle, it never felt like they had need to fear. Sure, sometimes they had no idea what to do, but did that ever shake Shiro? The guy was always calm, composed, and concise in what they needed to do. Never once had his orders led them astray.

Which was what had left Lance cowering in the Blue Lion, feeling like a total knucklehead, because he had absolutely not done that.

The mission had been a rescue mission, and been going relatively smooth. The head of the rebellion for the planet they were on had been taken by the Galra and, in exchange for Voltron liberating her, her follows had vowed to join the coalition. Their planet had been used as a farming world, due to how several of the plant indigenous to their home world could be used to make potent chemical weapons, such as truth serums or hallucinogenic drugs. They were going more covert with this operation, so the Lions were supposed to be out of the question.

But then Blue had started to yowl into Lance’s head that Galran reinforcements had been on their way.

He’d left his post, barely managing to get out a quick, “Guys, incoming!” Shiro had called back at him to stay in the spot he’d been sniping from, as they’d been coming in hot with the rebel leader and the leader of the Galran base a few feet behind them. Lance had known, however, that they’d have more luck with at least one Lion to help. He’d gotten to Blue and then set to tearing about the roof of the prison, scooping up Hunk and the unconscious form of the rebel leader as he went. With the two of them safely in his Lion, he explained there was a fleet coming and rushed Hunk to get in Yellow.

As per usual, they formed Voltron, knocked the Galra around like a ball on a paddle, and then reveled in their victory.

It was as they headed back to the hanger, though, that Lance became aware of the situation.

“You’re gonna be in so much trouble, dude,” Pidge had sang, clearly amused, into the comms.

“Excuse me?” Lance snorted.

“You disregarded what Shiro said! You broke rank and went against your orders!” She answered. Shiro wasn’t in the Lions comms at that second, as he was coordinating their meet up with the rebel forces once they docked.

“Pidge does have a point. We nearly got caught because you weren’t in your sniping post,” Keith chimed in, just the slightest edge of irritation to his tone as he recalled them getting fired at by the Galran commander and his droids.

“Oh, please! It wasn’t that bad!” Lance said, waving one hand in the air dismissively.

“I nearly got shot in the leg,” Hunk added in flatly.

He winced and let out a small hiss. “Oh, geez. Sorry, bud,”

“So, yeah. Pretty big mess up there, pal-o,” Pidge said, her tone all amusement, Cheshire-esque grin tilted up on her lips. A part of Lance shrieked at him to ignore her, that she was just trying to tease him, but another part of him became panicked over the possibility that she was right. “I’m sure Shiro will have a whole lecture prepared for you the minute we settle down in the hanger.”

“He typically does,” Keith scoffed lightly.

“Speaking from experience there, Mullet?” He sneered, trying to keep up the bravado of apathy. It was hard when they were talking about his hero telling him off for disobeying orders. Hopefully a few light jabs would be enough to throw them off the trail.

“Absolutely,” Keith stated bluntly, enunciating each syllable to add a bit more push to his words. “Believe you me; when Shiro needs to have words with you, he has words with you.”

“Okay, now I’m curious. Exactly how many times did Shiro have to read you the riot act back before Kerberos?” Hunk asked.

Keith shrugged and made a small noise of disinterest. “I guess it really depends which subject we’re talking about,”

“How about you just give us a cumulative estimate,” Pidge said, her tone still steeped in amusement, though now her focus had shifted.

Even with the heat off of him, though Lance couldn’t shake the anxiety starting to bubble up inside at their prodding. He worried a lot about how Shiro saw him. He knew he had a tendency to be a bit of a light-hearted goof, using snark and commentary to try and help keep morale up. He knew the situation they were in was grave – after all, he wasn’t a complete moron and had been on the harsher receiving end of that lesson more times than he was keen to admit – and, sometimes, him making some ludacrious, dumb statement could help with that. But, he had also been giving scolding looks and warning tones from Shiro when he’d started up before. A part of him feared that the other man saw him as dead weight, as a liability, and only tolerated him for the sake of forming Voltron. He feared that his insubordination would only cause Shiro to berate him and hammer the point home, like Iverson and so many other Garrison officers had done before.

And that was why, upon landing in the hanger, he’d refused to leave Blue’s cockpit.

The rest of the team – sans Shiro, who was assisting Coran with the alien leader – tried to coerce him into coming out, but when they hadn’t backed down he’d shut his comms off. And Blue – beautiful, compassionate Blue – had thrown her particle barrier up upon sensing her Paladin’s distress. Hunk had vowed to return at some point in the near future with some food for Lance, but otherwise followed the others out of the hanger to meet with the rest of the rebellion for a full report on the mission. Lance appreciated that he was finally getting to have a bit of privacy to figure out how he intended to handle the situation.

A good fifteen minutes or so went by in which he decided he’d just wait it out. He’d hold off on showing up until things had settled down, and then he’d be guaranteed that Shiro should have calmed down. Then, if a conversation needed to be had, it would turn into a Lance Bashing Fest.

He slumped down lower into his chair, the soft, confused rumblings of Blue’s presence in the back of his mind.

“It’s nothing, girl. I’m just trying to wait until things slide on by, wait until things are a little bit more settled,” He mused, stroking the control panels in a way that he hoped communicated reassurance. It was always hard to say what sensations the Lion’s picked up on, or how they chose to interpret the gestures of their Paladins.

Blue pressed further, her urging this time a bit more reassuring, almost challenging.

He snorted and rolled his eyes affectionately at her. “I’m not going to have to fight Shiro for my honor; I just didn’t listen and I’m worried he’ll be mad about it. So, I’m just going to stay here with you until this whole mess blows over,” He explained.

Blue released yet another rumble of discontentment, this time seeming to be put-off by his approach.

“It’s not cowardice, okay? It’s just being tactical!” He insisted.

Blue didn’t believe him. Psh. Even giant robot cats were critics, these days.

He stewed for another ten minutes before Blue shifted suddenly, her head tipping this way and that. He tumbled gracelessly out and rolled along the floor, sputtering frantically. “B-Blue! What’s wrong, girl?” He called out before clipping his head on the bottom edge of his chair and yowling.

The world spun around him for a full two or three minutes, the clinking and creaking noise of the Lion moving echoing around him, before suddenly he was rolling away along the metal flooring of the hanger. He groaned, ending up face first one the ground, one arm turned awkwardly under him, the other sprawled just above his head, his rear sticking up in the air.

Well, at least the humiliation was one he suffered alone.

“Uh, Lance?”

His heart leapt to his throat at the familiar voice of the Black Paladin, far too close for comfort. He slowly lifted the arm above his head, tilting his head until he was able to take in the view of the other’s white boots, less than two feet ahead of him.

He flailed upright into a sitting position with an indignant squawk. “Shiro!” He blurted out.

The other blinked, cocking his head curiously. He was still adorned in his Paladin armor, but the helmet had been left somewhere else. A few strands of the snowy tuft above his forehead shifted when he’d cocked his head, calling to mind a dog with perked up ears, for some reason. “Lance,” He answered, though his tone was inquisitive and concerned rather than frantic and flustered.

“Uh-Hey! Sorry about that! I was just- You know,” He trailed nervously, turning to pin Blue Lion with a glare over his shoulder, “spending some quality time with my Lion.”

In the back of his mind, Blue purred in satisfaction and then dropped her particle barrier again. Filthy traitor cat.

Shiro looked from him to Blue, still seeming a bit confused, but merely shrugged and opted to drop it. “I see. Well, I’m glad you’re taking your duties as a Paladin seriously, but come on out,” He said, offering him a hand.

“Is something going on?” He asked, taking the other’s hand and being hoisted back up on to his feet with one smooth tug. He’d always known the other man was physically fit, but he’d never really noticed just how much so. He’d have to ask him about what his routine was, or if he could sit in sometime, so he could start catching up.

“Just a little celebration. The rebels wanted to show their gratitude for us saving Ganar for them, so they’re preparing a huge hot-pot of some sort,” He explained, releasing Lance’s hand once he was sure he was properly balanced.

“Are we even sure we’ll be able to eat it? Or is this going to be like that feast back on Hiluq?” He asked skeptically.

“Well, Hunk is helping them pick ingredients, so it should hopefully be something we can all enjoy,” He answered with a shrug, but there was an air of uncertainty to his tone.

Lance couldn’t blame him, though; even a culinary genius like Hunk could only do so much in cases like this.

“Well, that’s nice of them. It feels nice to occasionally get shown that we’re appreciated, you know?” He mused, shifting awkwardly on his feet. He knew he couldn’t hide with Blue’s help, but perhaps he could still find a way to get out of this. “Think you can save me a bowl? I think I’m gonna go get a shower and a nap. That mission was cuh-ray-zee.” He said, waving one hand in the air and using a sing-song tone on the last word.

The other frowned slightly. “You should really come participate. Hiluq and her troops really want to thank us for all we’ve done,” He said, indicating the exit with a slight nod of his head. Lance felt his shoulders slump, unable to keep his disappointment from showing. “Oh, come on. I’m sure the food won’t be that bad. It certainly can’t be worse than that strange goop Coran tried giving us earlier on in our training.”

“Nothing will ever be as awful as that,” He snorted, falling in line and letting Shiro lead him along. He had already disobeyed orders once for the day; the last thing he needed to do was give further reasons to be chastised. Shiro chuckled as well, nodding in agreement, and a silence slowly settled in between them. As they walked, Lance felt his stomach churning. What angle was the other playing at? They were alone and he could tear into him. Why wasn’t he? Did he want to wait until after the celebration, when he was riding high, and drag him back down to reality?

He took a deep breath, deciding to bite the bullet, and take the plunge. “I’m sorry about earlier!” He blurted out in a rush of breath.

The other looked over at him in surprise and cocked his head. “Oh, no need to apologize. Staying with Blue for a little longer to help with your bond is completely fine. The bond between the Lions and us on the team is significant in our efforts to-!”

“No, I mean during the mission! When I left my perch!”

“Oh,” He said, seeming completely baffled.

“Oh? Is that all you have to say?” Lance asked, skidding to a stop and throwing his hands up.

Shiro stopped a few paces ahead of him, turning to look at him. “Well, I’m not sure what else I should say,”

“I broke away from the group! I was supposed to stay at my post to snipe any incoming enemies while you retrieved Hiluq, but I didn’t! Hunk almost got shot!” He stared at Shiro, a bit incredulous. The other’s expression had shifted from confused to something Lance couldn’t quite read. Disappointment, maybe? He sighed and shook his head, letting his gaze flitter to the floor. “You should be yelling at me for almost compromising the mission.”

A small hum escaped the other before a hand settled on his shoulder, squeeze a bit and applying just a small amount of pressure to the space between the plates of his Paladin armor. He looked up cautiously to find a small smile on the other’s face, his eyes gleaming bright. “Lance, what you did was the right decision. If you hadn’t gone back to get Blue, we never would have made it out of the base,”

“But… But you said-!”

“I know what I said, but sometimes you need to rely on your own judgment,” He said, his tone a bit more firm. Lance blinked before cautiously nodded. “We’re a team, which means we all need to work together and do what’s best for all of us. If you think that a command I’ve given is detrimental, then I want you to say so or take initiative to fix it. If it’s something that needs to be, we can discuss it later, but this isn’t an instance like that. You going back to get Blue kept us all from being trapped in the base when the backup fleet arrived. We wouldn’t have been able to get back to our Lions and form Voltron if not for what you did.”

Blue eyes widened before skirting from Shiro’s gaze to the floor, scuffing the metal with the toe of his boots. “You’re… I’m not,” He started, trying to come up with any excuse to dissuade the implied praise, but let out a small sigh, unable to articulate it properly.

Shiro squeezed her shoulder again before reaching over and tilting his head up, forcing the younger man to look at him. “Hey,” He said, his voice soft and reassuring, “we’re a team of equals, Lance. Your judgments are just as valid as mine, or Keith’s, or Hunk’s or Pidge’s. It doesn’t matter who pilots which Lion. If we don’t work together as a team, nothing works. If we didn’t have you on the team - if you didn’t have the courage to make the decision you did today - we wouldn’t be able to succeed. Having you here only makes us stronger, Lance.”

He searched the other’s gleaming onyx eyes for any hint that he was being deceptive, but found only transparency there. It felt surreal, really, to think that this living legend was praising him. His heart rate picked up and he looked off to the side, a shy smile turning up on his lips. “You think so?”

“I know so,” Shiro asserted, a warm and inviting smile turning up on his lips. His hand slid away from Lance’s shoulder and, oddly enough, he could feel the loss of heat from the contact underneath the shoulder pads of his Paladin armor. “Now, let’s get going. We don’t want to miss out on the festivities.”

“Yeah, sounds good,” He laughed as he jogged along beside the other man. A small part of him realized that the other’s smile, when he was completely relaxed as opposed to the one he plastered on for Garrison recruitment events, was a breathtaking sight. In fact, everything about the other male was stunning. How confident he was in his own abilities, as well as those he worked with. How he managed to stay calm. How he knew exactly what to say to encourage the other, but it was never a lie. The man offered out compliments based solely on his own genuine, authentic opinions. There was something truly admiring and charming about that.

And then, a trill of panic coursed up his spine at the realization that this wasn’t simple admiration he was feeling; it was undoubtedly a crush.

#crumbles grumbles #Voltron legendary defender #Shance #Takashi Shirogane #Lance McClain #my fics #Man this was a lot of fun!#I really like getting to explore their dynamic more!

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yourbrotherzulu · 5 years

Text

Beginningless

Time is such an odd thing. Everyone is in such a rush. Trying to get this, trying to become that. Missing what they have and what they already are.

Life could be beautiful. Full of appreciation and gratitude for the beauty all around. But instead: more of this pleasurable thing, less of that unpleasant thing. And what’s inside is decaying instead of thriving.

A few years ago, I said fuck this and fuck that, left my home and my job, put my last bucks together, gave my balls a last scratch and started to travel without a plan. Just a ticket to India, and that was it.

And then another ticket. And another one. And God knows where the money came frome (and I mean that literally). And now I am hanging out inna hamock in the peruvian jungle with my best friend, a black fluffy monkey and try to put something in words, that is actually beyond words. But since I deal in words, I should be able to throw a bunch of them together, spice them a little bit and hopefully they give a good flavour and make a little sense.

What is there to describe?

Something that is magical and yet the realest reality there is.

Something that is everywhere and yet no one finds it.

Something that is so close and yet no one sees it.

Something that is there in abundance and yet no one takes it.

Something that is everything and yet in its core is pure nothingness.

The one selfless Self.

Somethin’ like that.

God, someone said to me once, is just a word. And in a way I agree, I would even go so far to say its a cursed word. It’s not a word like Om, where everyone feels spiritual like a smoking stick of incense after three times chanting it. It’s a word that wakes up so much associations in peoples mind, so dependent on their upbringing. It’s a word that I almost don’t dare to speak out loud but yet it’s the only word that really matters. And most of it is beyond matter anyway.

Consciousness. Everybody has it. But just a few investigate it. And even fewer investigate it within themselves. I mean who the fuck has time for this anyway, right? Although the real question is: who the fuck takes time for it? You see, if you are fortunate enough to one day stumble upon the idea that you and everyone around you is as eternal as eternity can be, here since beginningless time and here for a long, long while longer, then you might think it’s a good idea to take a moment to find out who you really are. And then you take the luxury of another moment, and then another one and after a few more you’ll find that the moment has become eternal. A vibrant flow of stillness, running through the center of your own being: Life.

The Self. There is a Self, there is no Self, there is a Self, there is no Self. We gonna discuss this in more detail later, since this divine paradox is actually the very foundation of creation. There are a few more of these divine paradox (es? a? oxeses? who gives a shitses?) and the integation of those always brings revelation...

What is this, that you call yourself? The images that you hold dear? Aren’t they changing like the seasons? The thoughts that are running through your head? Aren’t they as transient as clouds in the sky? Your body, that is so close to you? Isn’t it changing, growing and decaying over time, constantly creating and devouring it’s own cells? So where is the Self, that you call “I”? Is it the one who asks these questions? Or is it the one that can observe the one who asks the questions?

Maybe the monkey knows. He looks like he knows. His face looks calm and wise and his hands are tiny and soft and its finger approaching the holes of my nose.

and prngejekjessing on the kefeyboard.

Thanks monkey. you just ruined the page! That’s it! No more bananas for you lil’ fucker!

God, Consciousness and the Self. That sounds like a humble thread.

Reality is a funny thing, isn’t it? Every night you create whole worlds, with it’s own physics and a plethora of characters in your imagination. What if I told you, that this whole thing you experience in a waking state is not much different? A little bit though, since were all dreaming it up together, co-creating our world. You see, the word “Buddha” means literally “someone who has woken up”.

And it’s not as if there are not already volumes over volumes about this stuff. Waking up. Liberating oneself. Reaching enlightenment. Scratching balls. Songs over song and scriptures over scriptures. Philosophers, Poets, Saints, Mystics, Scientists, they all wrote about it.

But I am not a saint, nor a philospher, neither a scientist, and a poet only when I take a dump on the first, bright morning of spring.

I was a criminal. And a total failure, a depressed, angry piece of shit, spreading misery. I was alone. I had nothing. Well I had a lot of misery...

And now... Happy, every day, free and fresh. And my relations are awesome. To my family, my friends, even to those who have once been my enemies. To myself, who sometimes has been an even bigger enemy to me then everyone else. And to my God, who probably has been my biggest enemy of them all, back then, when I was still full of fear. My God, who is now not only my best friend (bestest), but also my father, my mother, my master, my lover, my home, my goal, my road, who I learn to see in every situation and in every being I encounter.

Life has turned into the most magical thing.

And I have become a child. And I guess that’s why they finally opened the gates.

Know thyself, they say, and you’ll know all the wonders of the universe.

Unless you become like children, they say, the gates of heavens will remained closed.

It’s because you are it. The universe. The wonders. The Self. The only one being that is actually there. And you are the child of it. The father and the son, or daughter... you are it.

And I believe, since everyone is so fucked up these days and tryin‘ to find themselves, maybe I could help a little. Or entertain someone. Or at least kill some time and write somethin‘ that no one will ever read.

But I feel I have a few stories to share.

But I dont know yet in what way.

I want it to be honest and fantastical at the same time.

It should be both smooth and classy and raw and uncensored.

I wanted it to be fuckin' noble

like a Buddha statue

behind a line of cocain

I want it to be serious and dark and funny and light

every text should be a poem, an essay a report, an adventure, an inspiration, and yet remaining empty and somehow vague for each reader to make it their own.

I want it to be always about God and never mention that cursed word even once. (well I guess, that goal is already missed.)

I wanna say thank you. To everyone I ever met. To every hardship and every joyride. To God who has always been there, especially in the Dark Nights.

I want to write about them, those Dark Nights of the Soul and guide you until you see the morning light again.

I want it to be full with hard and red cocks and wet, dripping pussies, obscene and perverted and then again just write pages over pages about how I try not to masturbate (many pages about not masturbating).

I want it to be spiritual, ancient and yet fresh and fly, timeless and yet contemporary, profound and yet funny. Like consciousness itself. Like waking up on a spring day. Next to a beautiful, naked woman who is still sleeping and drooling, while you’re making fresh orange juice and getting some croissants for her. Yeah, like that.

I want it to be about Jesus and Buddha and Bob Marley, but in a cool way. Like really cool. Because these dudes were cool, thats for sure.

And they certainly didn’t want to be forcefed to people by them hippocrates. They just wanted to share the treasure they found. Because they knew this treasure waits in every human heart to be discovered. They never intended to be forced upon anyone. Quite the opposite.

I don’t want to have an introduction... wait a minute...

It should be a trip. Just a trip.

I always hated writing about myself but whenever I wrote about anything else, people asked to please keep on writing about myself and share my thoughts and feelings. So I guess, that’s what I am gonna write about.

Me. Because at the end. You are just another me. And I am just another you. But the God inside is always the same.

Maybe I just want to share something.

How to be happy, I guess.

And a little bit of poetry.

Maybe I do know what I want to write about.

Maybe tomorrow I start again from the beginning. Who knows?

But just when I stopped scratching my monkeys head and finally found some words

...

The Universe changed the damn script.

And time started and killed my sweet timelessness.

...

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maraudersandlily20 · 6 years

Text

The Only Gay I Know

Lily would not shut up. And not in her usual, quirky Lily way where she would get on a subject she found interesting and wouldn’t shut up about it until she knew everything. No, this was the obnoxious way, when she got concerned for one of her friends and would keep talking about them even when everyone else had moved on.

Sirius loved Lily. She was one of the kindest, happiest people Sirius knew. She was protective over him and fought for him and was everything a friend ought to be. Since she had decided that the marauders might be worth friendship, they had all been stuck together like glue. There were very few times in their friendship that Sirius wanted Lily to sod off. This was one of them.

“I’m just so worried for her. She hasn’t gotten out of bed all day, hasn’t eaten anything. She just sits there, looking homeless, and she won’t talk about it. I don’t know what to do. She didn’t even care for him that much, according to her.”

“Lils,” James pleaded. “We know that Marlene is having a hard time. But there’s nothing we can do about it now. Will you please focus on something else for the rest of the day until we get back to the common room?”

Lily pouted and Sirius snickered, messing up her hair. She growled and smacked his hand away. While the group continued on to configurations, Sirius let himself consider Marlene for a second.

It had been rather random occurrence yesterday when Lily had approached her friends and announced that Marlene and her boyfriend of two months, Darrin Carmichael, had split up. She was shaken by the termination of her friend’s relationship, having been so convinced that they had been meant for each other. Sirius didn’t care much for Darrin, who was one of the most pompous Ravenclaws in their year, but he had kept his opinions to himself, knowing that Marlene really liked him. At least, she said she did.

She had been acting strange the past few days. Her normal, open manner suddenly closed in on itself and she could barely look anyone in the eyes. Marlene was known for her brash, feminine attitude, and being open with her thoughts and honest in her opinions. Remus loved her. Sirius often felt jealous of the relationship his boyfriend had with the girl, considering that Remus was bisexual and had told Sirius that he would be rather tempted to be date her, if he wasn’t with Sirius. Sirius appreciated the honesty, but sometimes it made him self conscious. However, despite his feelings of jealousy toward the stunning blonde, he also couldn’t help but love her. With their dark past of snogging far behind them, he finally felt comfortable with her. They had grown rather close since the summer trip to the Potters and he cared for her greatly.

He wanted her to be happy. So he resolved to make sure she was okay that afternoon, after classes.

It was easy to find a moment without everyone hovering. Remus, Lily and James were busy with prefect and head boy and girl duties and Peter was in the library with his friend/ potential girlfriend Annie and intended to stay there til the sun went down. Dorcas was by the lake, uncharacteristically quiet that day, though she smiled whenever people asked how she was doing.

Sirius got up, folding the piece of parchment he had just written on into a small square. The note simply said, “Please come talk to me -SB”. He then charmed it to fly up and under the 7th year girls dorm door. He went and took a seat on the couch in front of the fireplace and waited. After a minute, a red eyed Marlene descended down the stairs, her hair ratty and clad in a blanket and her pajamas. She looked like hell. She gave Sirius a close lipped smile and sank into his waiting arms.

She burrowed her head into his neck and sniffled, reveling in the feeling of his comfort.

“Are you okay, little one?” Sirius whispered, the affectionate nickname rolling of his tongue. A shrug of her shoulders was the only movement. So, the two just sat in silence.

“Sirius.” Marlene finally said, gathering her courage. He hummed. “How… how did you know that wanted to be with boys?”

He reared back. This was not the direction he was expecting this conversation to go. “What?” He shook his head. “Are you sure that’s what you want to talk about? Not how much of a prick Carmichael is?”

Marlene shook her head, giving a chuckle. “No. I really want to know.”

Sirius took a deep breath and attempted to piece together what to say. No one had really asked him this question before and so was unsure of how to answer. “Well…” He began tentatively. “A lot of it had to do with Remus. It made it a lot easier to understand my feelings when they were tacked onto one person. And Remus always made sense to me. Even when we were younger and I wasn’t aware of what my feelings were, I knew I needed Remus. James always joked that he and I were so attached that sometimes he couldn’t tell us apart. In fifth year, though, when I started thinking that I had to have feelings for girls, every time I went out with a girl, something felt off. Like I was just a bit too tall or too big to be in the situation. I towered over every girl I took out, I couldn’t understand what I was expected to do or how to react or flirt or whatever. It was awkward.”

“When I realized I wanted Remus, it was like everything clicked.”

“What made you realize?”

Sirius laughed. “Well, we were in the library. It was a quiet afternoon. Prongs was at quidditch and Peter was asleep on the table. Remus was sitting against a windowsill, reading a novel on the mystical properties of stones. It had been rather gloomy that day, but there was a moment when the sun came out. I looked up to enjoy it and was met with the sight of Remus soaked in sunlight. His hair became illuminated and it backlit him just right.” Sirius’ eyes clouded over with the memory and Marlene watched him as he thought about that moment. He smiled. “It took my breath away. And I realized that I wanted him. More than I had ever wanted any girl I’d taken out. And it was more than attraction. I mean, Merlin, I definitely wanted to push him against a wall and snog him until the sun went down, but it was more than that.” he looked over at her and shrugged. “I wanted the little things too. I wanted to hold his hand in the hallway and argue about his favorite types of music, which are just of awful. I wanted to hear him snore, because he does, even though he denies it. I wanted to spend holidays with him and hold him when he cried. I wanted all of it.”

Marlene was enraptured in the obvious love Sirius had for Remus. It was shining through his face, emanating from his entire body. It made her happy, to know they were so content with each other. “I don’t know if I would have found that with someone else. I probably would have. And, honestly, it probably would have been a bloke. I know that now. But it was Remus, which made it easier. And now I honestly can’t imagine having that with anyone else.”

“So you knew with a surety that you wanted Remus?” Marlene asked.

Sirius nodded. “Yeah, when I finally figured it out. Of course, Remus had felt that way about me for much longer. But once we were finally together, life seemed better.” He looked down at the girl in his arms, so clearly struggling with heartache. “Is that how you felt with Carmichael?”

Marlene’s head snapped up. “What? No. No, of course not. He was fit and nice sometimes and he liked me. But what I felt with Darrin was nothing like what you just described.”

“I’m assuming that’s why he dumped you.”

She scoffed. “Please. I dumped him. He begged me to stay so we could figure it out. But once I realized that he wasn’t what I wanted OR needed, I knew I couldn’t be with him.” She stared into the fire, growing quiet.

It took Sirius a moment to piece together what she was saying. When he realized the bizarre way the conversation had turned actually had a meaning, his eyes grew wide. “Marls… Why did you want to know how I knew I wanted to be with a bloke?”

“You’re the only gay I know. At least, well enough to talk about this with. And, I just am kind of confused. About everything. I needed to talk to someone who might understand.”

“You want to be with girls?” He said, his voice soft. Marlene bit her lip and nodded. Suddenly, a lot of things made sense. “The girl you want to be with wouldn’t happen to be Miss Dorcas Meadowes, would it?”

Inexplicably, Marlene’s eyes filled with tears. She sunk into the couch even more, if that were possible, and tried to keep her breathing even. “I don’t know what to do, Sirius. She’ll hate me.” She whispered. “I can barely look at her now, knowing how badly I want her. But I don’t think she’ll want me. And I’ve been rejected quite a bit in my life, but hearing it from her just might kill me.”

“Marlene. What is Merlin’s name are you talking about?” Sirius snapped. “You are thinking of the absolute worst scenario.” He pulled away from her, making them both sit up straight. “Yes, you’re right, there is a chance that Dorcas won’t want you that way. And that might suck, for a while. But you’re strong, and you’ll get through it. But you’re completely ignoring the fact that she might feel the same way. And then, all of this worry will mean nothing, and you’ll regret every minute of it.”

She opened her mouth to argue, but he cut her off. “No, Marlene, listen. I waited an entire year before telling Remus how I felt. And even then, I didn’t actually tell him. And before that, we got in terrible fights about almost everything. It tore me up. I was angry and upset, but I couldn’t tell him how I felt because what if it ruined our friendship? So I didn’t. I let a pinch of worry stop what would have been a 15 second conversation and instead focused only on what could happen. Not what might happen. When Remus and I finally did get together, it was like all of that was wasted time. It was, of course, and we both regretted it. We’re happy now, but we could have been happier much sooner.” He stared her down, gazing into the light blue eyes, hoping she would see his sincerity. “I don’t want that to happen to you, Marls. Don’t be like us. We were cowards. It took us far too long to figure it out. Be brave. Be the Marlene Mckinnon we know and love. Take a shower, put on some real clothes, and tell that beautiful woman how you feel. If she rejects you, and she would be mental to do so, then you’ll know right where to find me.”

Marlene was crying, but smiling. She leaned forward and placed a fierce kiss on his cheek before running up the stairs to follow his orders. He grinned, hoping against hope that things would work out in her favor.

A few hours later, Lily was once again voicing her concern for Marlene. After a minute, trying to ignore her, Sirius looked up and saw Marlene enter the great hall, hand intertwined with Dorcas, who had a blush against her black skin. They were grinning widely, and Marlene made eye contact with Sirius, looking proud. He gave her a nod of approval.

“Don’t worry, Lils. I think everything is going to be okay with Marlene.” he gestured to the new couple with his head and everyone around him turned to look.

When his classmates and friends seemed to understand what was going on, their mouths dropped open. Gasps and catcalls started to circle around the Gryffindor table. Lily stood, aghast. “MERLIN’S BEARD!” She shouted. “YOU’RE LESBIANS?” Everyone laughed and raised their goblets toward the girls in a sign of congratulations.

And all Sirius could do was smile.

#hi kiddos #marlene mckinnon #dorcas meadowes #sirius black #remus lupin #lily evans #james potter #wolfstar #marauders #first time sharing my writing #happy reading

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starryvioletnight · 6 years

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Lets Make a Deal

Summary: @the-asexual-reaper suggested a fic about demon Bim making deals with the other egos and it was too long of an idea just to answer in an ask. Not too gruesome or really demon-y till the end. Starts off with small deals, then Wilford makes a deal that Bim enjoys a little too much. Enjoy~

The more they whined the harder it was to contain himself. Bim had lived among the egos for years, able to hide his true form. But with every complaint, he wanted to so badly offer a deal. One day, he couldn’t handle it anymore. He’d casually slipped the idea that maybe they should summon a demon.

They did, later that night. They egos went to the nearest crossroads, and buried the small, summoning spell.

“I didn’t think you would do it.”

The egos turned to the face, seeing a creature with fangs for teeth, claws and black eyes, dressed in a simple looking suit. “Bim?” Dr. Iplier asked.

“In the flesh.” He grinned. “C'mon boys… lets play. What do you want? I can make it happen. For a price, of course.”

“Our souls?” Host the asked, confused.

“Eh,” Bim shrugged. “For big stuff, probably. For little stuff, maybe just a few favors. The egos were silent, stunned. All except for Dark, who was glaring at Bim.

"C'mooon guys.” He groaned. “You complain every morning about everything under the sun. Make a deal with little Bim.” Bim’s claws retracted, and his fangs returned to normal teeth. His became that warm brown, and he laughed his usual, care free laugh. “Lil Bimmy Trimmer.” He put his hands in his pockets and he smiled his boyish smile. “You can trust me.”

“Bim…” Wilford said quietly. “Is this… is this a joke?”

“No, Wilford.” Bim told him. “Not a joke. I’m tired of hiding. Tired of listening to you lot whine and whine and whine.” He hissed between his teeth. “Not when I can help. Not when I can do a few favors and get a little something in return.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “Come on guys. Let’s make a deal.”

Still, silence. Bim sighed and rolled his eyes. “You’re skeptical, fine. I get it. We can start tomorrow. Go on, back to the house with you.”

The egos listened, perplexed, murmuring amongst themselves about this revelation. Dark and Bim were the only two that remained. Bim grinned. “Not the only demon on the block anymore. How’s that feel?”

“I sensed power from you. Not a lot, but I never expected this.” Dark told him.

Bim bounced on his heels. “What, more powerful than you imagined?”

“More… pathetic.” Dark cracked his neck, rippling the air around them.

Bim’s excited grin fell, and he stopped bouncing. “… what?”

“You lesser demons.” Dark shook his head. “How you disgust me.” The older demon turned around and walked back to the house. Bim frowned and kicked some of the dirt on the ground. He’d show him.

The Host was the first to approach Bim. Bim had been fixing his hair, as the Host approached.

“The Host understands that Bim Trimmer, as a demon, can do things otherwise known as impossible. The Host wonders if there will be unfortunate consequences to his request.”

Bim looked at him. “Nah. I’m not that cruel.” He grinned. “Just gotta hold up your end of the bargain, that’s it.”

The Host hesitated, and Bim watched blood drip from the Host’s bandages. The Host wiped it away. “Can you stop the bleeding, Bim?” He murmured.

“Easy peasy.” Bim nodded. “And in return I’ll take… Oh, that tea you brew? I’ll take a nice cup of that. Seems fair.” He shrugged. “What do you think?”

“The Host is surprised that the deal is that simple. He doesn’t trust Bim. If something else happens, the Host also has power. He’d like to remind Bim that he can make Bim’s life hell just as easily as Bim can the Host’s.”

Bim rolled his eyes. He snapped his fingers, and the Host tensed a bit. The blood that had started to pool beneath his eyes disappeared. He paused before taking off the bandages. While the wounds were nothing to really look at, they weren’t bleeding anymore. The Host touched the area with his fingers, taking in the feel of finally scarred tissue.

Bim grinned. “So? Whatcha think?”

“… Thank you Bim.” The Host said quietly. “By any chance, do you have a pair of sunglasses or a blind fold I could use? It’s still not something the others should see.”

Bim made a long, red, blindfold appear. “This is definitely your color.” He said as he tied it around the Host’s head, effectively covering his eyes. The fabric was soft, and made the Host smile, glad he no longer had to wear those itchy bandages. “Take your time with that tea. I’ll free all day. I do advise you to uphold your end of the deal though, or there will be consequences.”

“How does tea at three sound?” The Host offered.

“Perfect.” Bim agreed, smiling. “Alright, go on then. Enjoy a bloodless day.”

The Host smiled and nodded, leaving Bim alone. Bim turned back to the mirror. His eyes flashed black, and he rolled his shoulders, popping his neck quietly in the process. Maybe the others would believe him now, with the Host as proof.

Dr. Iplier approached Bim as the demon was laying in a hammock, taking in the warm sun. He had been quietly dozing when the good doctor approached, the breeze swaying him lightly from side to side. Dr. Iplier stood directly in front of Bim, blocking the sun. Bim frowned, opened his eyes and lowered his sunglasses. “Can I help you?”

“I want to make a deal.” Dr. Iplier told him quietly. “It’s pretty big so…”

Bim sat up, interested, feet now hanging off the side of the hammock. “Oh yeah? What is it, get the person of your dreams to fall in love with you?” He grinned. “Need someone killed? Need multiple people killed? Need a building blown up? Spill it doctor.”

Dr. Iplier took a step back. “No! No, nothing like that!” He paused before sighing. “My patients. They keep dying. I’d like them to stop. Is there some kind of deal we can cut?”

Bim looked disappointed. That wasn’t that tall of an order actually. Dr. Iplier was just a bad doctor. It was a quick fix. “The most I can ask for that is, I don’t know…” He had to think about it. “My bookshelf in my room? It’s a mess. Can you organize that for me? Get that done and your patients’ll stop dying.”

Dr. Iplier looked hopeful, He nodded and walked away. When he was out of sight, Bim snapped, fulfilling his end of the deal. Then he went back to snoozing in the hammock.

Bim had been aching in his human skin when Wilford came to him. He felt trapped, contained, and it was hard to control. This happened from time to time, and it was painful. The only way to get the feeling to go away was to break out, let his true side show for at least five or so minutes. Stretch, maybe find something, or, someone to sink his teeth into.

He was on his way out when Wilford stopped him. “Bim?”

Bim froze. God he was in so much pain. He needed to rip free. Still, he gave courtesy where courtesy was due, and he stopped. He turned around to face Wilford with a strained smile. “Yes, Wil?”

“I want to make a deal.” Wilford sighed. “An-and it’s a big one.”

“Nothing is too big or small for the great Bim Trimmer.” Bim told him. “Let’s talk.” He teleported the two to the conference room, taking a seat across from Wilford, wincing at the pain his body was in. Wilford, surprised but not uncomfortable, took his seat. “So, what is it you need?”

Wilford hesitated. “I… I want Damien and Celine back…” He said the words quietly, as if they pained him.

“Oh.” Bim looked absolutely delighted. “Wilford, this is a tall order, you know. Also, you do know what will happen if I retrieve Damien and Celine for you, right?” He licked his lips in anticipation. “You know what’ll happen to Dark, don’t you?”

“Will it hurt him?” Wilford asked suddenly.

I’ll make sure of it. “No, not at all!” Bim promised falsely, grinning through sharp teeth that now refused to stay hidden. “Wil, dear friend, I’ll need your soul for this one.”

Wilford sighed and nodded. “I figured as much. Oh well, I knew I was gonna go to hell anyway.” He said.

“Deals like this gotta be sealed with a kiss, friend. You okay with that?” Bim asked. This was going to be so fun.

Wilford shrugged and leaned forward, kissing Bim, surprising the demon actually. Usually people weren’t so quick to do that. Oh well. It was sealed now.

Now the fun began.

Dark was out in a field. He’d been enjoying the night air when Bim appeared behind him. With an eyeroll, Dark turned around. But he stopped short when he saw something different about the dealer demon. “Bim…” He said.

“Notice something new Dark?” Bim shed his human skin, revealing himself to be a creature twice the size of Dark, with long, sharp claws and pointed fangs. He looks so much more powerful.

“Someone made a deal with you. Who sold their soul?” Dark asked.

“Wilford.” Bim replied, in a voice that’d make human ears bleed. Not Dark. Not when they both were demons. “Guess who he wanted back, Dark?”

“No… Do you have any idea what you’re doing? You’re going to upset the balance.” Dark was taking a few steps back now. He was afraid, which made Bim happier than he could be. Good.

“We’ve already signed the deal, Dark. You know just as well as I do, can’t back out of our deals. And I considered doing this painlessly, you know. But then I thought, where’s the fun in that?”

Bim pinned Dark to the ground and growled. The elder demon struggled beneath what he’d once called ‘crossroads scum’, trying to get out, trying to get free. Bim took one claw, and slowly, as slowly as he could, plunged it deep into Dark’s chest, making the demon yell in pain.

It was slow, as Bim tore Dark apart, trying to get to the trapped souls that lived inside of him, all the while the demon suffered and screamed and writhed as chunks of his gray flesh flew from all sides. And of course he stayed conscious through it all, being a demon he couldn’t die.

Not until Bim found the entity’s soul; looking a lot like a patchwork of different souls. Dark’s eyes watched helplessly, in fear, as Bim ripped it apart. The scream Dark uttered rivaled nothing that could ever be made by humans, and made Bim wince. Windows on the house, which was miles away, cracked and shattered from the sound.

When Dark was effectively dead, Bim turned back into his human form, covered with the inky black substance Dark had for blood. He smiled at the red and blue orbs in his hands. “Damien, Celine.” He hummed. “Hope you’re ready to be human again. Just gotta give me a second, I need to grab a bite to eat before I can begin that spell.” He hummed happily, nearly skipping back to the house.

#demon bim trimmer #claws #fangs #black eyes #markiplier egos #nancy's writings #demon blood #screams #violence

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luciana-la-maga · 3 years

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Adira’s Wolf Moon Review - Eng.

Adira's Wolf Moon is a postmodern fantasy saga written by Melina Lema (mel-mellow.tumblr) between 2012 and 2015 (Well, as far as I know). It took concepts and references from a work team of which I was part at a time called La Tríada, founded in 2011 under the name Escritoras Jr. and with an unknown dissolution. In other words, I quitted from my position in La Tríada after having reached Chapter 4 of my personal work called Libro 19, a remastering of the Silver Warriors saga. But that is the subject for another article.

I had the unique opportunity to have a closer look (and my own experience) of the EXHAUSTIVE work to which a person is exposed when saying "I want to write a book". It is a chaotic universe full of corrections, details, worldviews and argumentative debates.

This work begins fully by embarking us on the Germany of 2010 with a grumpy lycanthrope named Adira, the protagonist of our story and first-person narrator of the events. Just a couple of lines below we are presented with her literal and immediate Antithesis: Gloomerly. From the very first moment this story makes an excellent and clever nod to general culture, creating a bizarre friendship between the most estranged characters in the history of fantasy literature. A werewolf and a vampire looking for adventure? It's an arc that cannot fail!

The diversity of characters began in sort of a shaky way, pointing towards the least expected regarding to the typical argumentative plot in a juvenile genre. Alexander and Marcus, with their appearance and prominence in the first chapters give freshness and credibility to the first book. Personally I liked that resource of breaking with the typical group of stereotyped teenagers. The tall, the short, the cute, the ugly, the funny, the dark. By the time this work was written (2011), juvenile novels were having a hard time being involved in so many empty stereotypes to attract teenagers and make them spend money on books. In fact, The Simpsons knew how to explain very well the anti-creative and marketing process of a standardized book in Chapter 492 of its Season 23, The Book Job. Highly recommended.

The personality profiles have so many tones, such depth of parallel stories that really play a lot with the plausibility of the characters. Did Lily exist in real life? Has Christian been inspired by someone the author actually knew?

And this is when the plot begins to tremble a lil' bit about its root concept: The chapters pass and we continue to be introduced to more and more characters, one more beautiful than the other. The Fifth Problem with their rock band Heir, Los Leyendas, all the cast from La Universidad. From here, there, from one country, another ... And Adira is somehow overshadowed by being surrounded with such strong personalities. Her character as a main is not exactly "nice" for the reader, but the author makes up for it very well with a solid origin story that positions us entering Phase # 3 on the path of a hero: The Rectification. (If you want to know the phases of the Path of a Hero according to the composition of La Tríada, comment and I will make a separate article). Adira is popularly known by her enemies as The Girl of a Thousand Lives, I give the plot extra points for the epic name of legend that I love. That popular nickname is due to her ability to preserve her memories and acquired knowledge despite dying over and over again in tragic wars or conflicts.

The rectification in Adira's back story is precisely this odd turn in her way of behaving and the construction of her person outside the war machine that she has forced herself to be one life after another. Meeting Gloomerly, then starting a herd -or family?- along with the rest of the Toledo's, having real friends at the University and the return of David (her only relevant romantic interest), etc.; All these are isolated events that force this rude protagonist to expose herself, to become human, to leave her comfort zone and socialize, to get closer in some way to her condition as a human being and that is precisely what brings us chapter after chapter to see what else there will be. How immersive this universe is and how far Adira is willing to go around this modern world in which she doesn't fit at all. Along with her humanity comes the climax of unraveling the mysterious and important cause for which she and many other werewolf herds fight.

Regarding the great revelation of Azrethar: The matter of the magical portals to explain the passage from one world to the other seemed to me a somewhat hasty decision that left loose a plot arc in the story that is key: Where do all these fantastic beings come from?

This also leads me to a conceptual crack that as an author (and ex former counselor?) I noticed: That is Magic in the Adira universe. Compared to the rest of the great concepts that the novel itself had been working on, this matter of "magic for magic's sake" could have been worked from a slightly more Rowlingnian perspective: Give magic a method and it will come to life by itself, all along. Humans love the feeling of being able to achieve everything if they somehow "automate" it, "methodize" it. It gives it truthfulness. Adira's universe presents us with plenty of tools to exploit this matter of magic in an inexhaustible way and unfortunately it always leaves us wanting a little more. Marcus's powers, Lesthia Academy, Samuel's relationship with dragons, Alexander's mere existence ... And even once inside Azrethar, we walk through the portal and expect to see magic around every corner when ACTUALLY the plot is exploited through racial species. This is a colorful and very useful resource especially because all The University Cast came from there. And yet there they leave us wanting more.

Once in Azrethar, the languages, the continents, the peoples, the kingdoms are presented to us in an overwhelming and -in my opinion- not very organic way. When we turn to Adira's Crescent Moon or Adira: Luna Menguante we hope that those questions so magnetically attractive that one asks as a reader will be answered. Who are the Vulcas? If there's a kingdom of fireproof and sexually active millionaire vampires there should be water vampires somewhere on the continent, or earth-type vampires. And if there is a vampire kingdom, will the kingdom of Tumma be the werewolf kingdom?

Finally, Adira's universe and sex. Maybe it's because we were very young when we wrote about such adult characters and in plots that involved contexts that we never lived in until by that time, but the lack of sex takes away the depth of the characters a little bit. One of the main problems (I include myself very hard) when writing during puberty -or teenage writing- is the lack of approach towards sex. Victim of the time, in the novel the hues lack diversity. I mean, it was 2011 and that demi-feminist sexual revolution had not yet arrived and we only have Ryan and Darren as the only representatives of the LGBTQ community. Simply put, Azrethar is way too big to be that heterosexual. The lack of sexuality in a fantasy world that is governed by cultural diversity is an almost Tolkian mistake but completely admissible and real.

In conclusion, the triggers are exceptional and they are all very well worked. The key to giving the story a proper cliff hanger by a "next generation" we are introduced to is the creation of Thamer. Thamer is perhaps the only one in the entire Adira universe who will be able to tell the story as it's being handed down to us and, as the eldest of a herd of little children whose parents will be legends. I mean, Melissa's twins, then Styx, the exaggerated but valid litter of twelve heirs to the Vulcan kingdom of Atsil ... They all give us hope that the story will continue along with its growth and expansion. And honestly, I look forward to it.

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overwatchochelp · 7 years

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Overwatch OC Review: Phuong Nguyen, “Phuong”

Sent in by @kokizuki! @chiefpharah! Review under read more.

Appearance: Phuong is 5'3" tall with black hair and near black eyes. her default skin is her stage magicians outfit! she wears a dark violet jacket with tailcoats over a white button up, accompanied with dark violet slacks. her accessories include: a violet + red velvet top hat, a velvet bow tied under her collar, a yellow rose, pearl earrings, and a belt full of canisters.

Effective design! It certainly matches Overwatch’s charm for being thematic and detailed.

she got her gauntlets and leg prosthetics from her former circus to complete her stage outfit. her gauntlets are hard light compatible, and she uses them for her magic acts, including the production of her throwing knives (her standard weapon).

Full name: Phuong Nguyen (both common Vietnamese names)

Callsign: it’s just Phuong! she’s a performing magician, so unless you strongly recommend a stage name, i want her to be addressed by her first name

Judging by how she styles herself, I think she’d be suited for a bold stage name. Performing magicians always present themselves with an air of superiority and awesomeness- it’s how they win the audience.

At least, that’s my understanding of performing magicians. “Phuong” is still fine too.

Age: 29 years old

Sex: female

Sexuality, romance: a lesbian very comfortable in her sexuality! :> i ship her with Tracer and Emily romantically, but it’s not canon in her lore because i simply can’t find a way to connect them story-wise?

Both at once? So it’s a polyamorous lesbian triangle. It will be difficult to pull it off since it’s not confirmed (according to my information) if they are open to polyamory, so if you want it canon you’ll have to push your headcanons on canon characters. The shipping is harmless though.

Nationality: Vietnamese

Ethnicity: Vietnamese, as well!

Language/s: Vietnamese, English, Russian (from her former work)

Base of operations: Saigon, Vietnam (but she travels frequently due to her work)

Occupation: Phuong’s a solo-performing magician! she built up her reputation from her former circus by making acts primarily with hard light, a new practice in the entertainment world. as a very well-known celebrity from both her talent and charm, she often tours to spread as much happiness and hope as she physically can.

Affiliations: Dove’s Eye Circus (formerly)

GAME WISE

Health: 200

Armor: 0

Shields: 0

Role: offense! i picture her as a ★★-difficulty fast-moving player who does well at close combat, due to her higher melee damage, and someone who can easily jump into the fight when a bulk of her team is already there. she’s extremely mobile at a level similar to Genji, especially with her passive. an effective Phuong playing style is using height advantage to use Clapperclaw and getting as close to use melee. (as a lil heads up though, most of my worry about her is her move set being too defense-y, so additional attention would be greatly approached!)

Weapons: her main weapon is knives she rapidly produces with her hard light gauntlets! her primary fire is Light Toss (left mouse), which is long range. its default is throwing 2 knives at a time, but it’s chargeable (like Zenyatta’s secondary fire) to have a set of 2/4/6 knives. the charge time for each stage is .2 seconds, output is 8/14/28 damage, and reload time is 1.7 seconds.

Secondary fire: none

Melee: she slashes with two knives, with an output of 60 damage (that might be too high though?)

Maybe so. I’m not sure about the usual melee damage range of Overwatch heroes, but I believe cutting it down to 45 damage should do it.

Abilities:

Review posted in your updated ability post!

- passive: High Jump (due to her prosthetics, Phuong is able to jump higher distances, accessing heights others may not be able to reach; can also grip walls for .5 seconds)

- shift: Clapperclaw (at a high distance in midair, Phuong directs her fall at her target, damaging them with her claws; 50 damage, 3 second cooldown)

- e key: Bullet Catch (can catch bullets/projectiles with her gauntlets, but does not direct them back, kind of like a half Genji deflect; duration 3 seconds, 8 second cooldown)

- right mouse: Dove’s Ditty (short range, healing for one ally (attaches to closest teammate, prefers teammate with lowest hp), heals 50 health per 3 seconds, 15sec cooldown)

note: i’ve listed three abilities, but i was thinking that the additional ability makes up for her lack of secondary fire (like Doomfist).

Ultimate: Phuong’s ult is Chainsaw Trick, which traps enemies in a radius within hologram boxes she creates with hard light. In the next sequence of her animation, she pulls a chainsaw out of her hat to attack her trapped enemies. The chainsaw has enhanced damage with 95 damage per swing. The enemies that aren’t currently being sliced by her chainsaw are stunned for a 5 second duration.

Signature quote: hostile, self ult line is “Ready for my showstopper?” and friendly ult line is “Tune in for the show!”

Skins: her rare skins are based off suits of cards! she also has two epic skins: Rock Dove (which is based on her dove/magic theme) and Lotus (the national flower of Vietnam).

her legendary skins include: Ao Dai (a traditional Vietnamese dress meant for the Lunar New Year Event), Skvader/Wolpertinger (not yet designed; based off the similar mythological winged rabbits), and Prophetess/Soothsayer (not yet designed; meant to be fantasy sorcerer kind of clothes).

I love the inclusion of Vietnamese cultural elements. Overwatch is a highly culturally diverse organization and it makes me glad to see people make use of that fact.

LORE WISE

Bio(short): i’m not very confident in my full bio, so i held off from making a short one!

Bio(full): she grew up in the first Omnic Crisis in Saigon, Vietnam. her parents were poor farmers, and she spent her childhood helping them + going back and forth from the city running errands for extra cash. as a young adult in her 20s, she found work in Dove’s Eye Circus after her enthusiasm for their work was reviewed by the ringleader. when she was taken in, she did some maintenance work helping the circus travel (Dove’s Eye performed in a route from Vietnam to Russia).

How did the first Omnic Crisis affect her in Saigon? You can also reason why it didn’t, but you better be good. The global omnic uprising isn’t exactly something anyone can sleep over.

the circus carried and left cargo at certain pit stops which confused Phuong, but she paid no mind to it (the circus was kind enough to gift her a job so why question it?). after receiving a shipment of hard light tech, the circus taught Phuong to create magic acts with it. since hard light was still incredibly new to the public (i estimate this is around the time Vishkar introduced hard light), Phuong became a sensation w the circus’s already existing popularity.

How did a travelling circus acquire such cutting edge technology? If it is around the time hard light technology was unveiled the world, then I don’t believe Vishkar’d let any little bit just slip away from them.

she enjoyed her work immensely, making people smile as she did when she first saw the circus, and developed a very attached loyalty to the circus. in a stop to Russia, while dropping off shipments, her circus was violently attacked by a Talon branch to steal their cargo. in the fight, Phuong got blasted by a grenade and lost her legs from the knee down.

You can probably align this with my earlier point. Instead of a Talon team, it could be criminal mercenaries under the employ of Vishkar.

she had to stay in recovery for weeks under the medical care of the circus staff, and once she was given prosthetics, she fell even deeper in her loyalty to Dove’s Eye.

How so? What drew her closer to Dove’s Eye, seeing replacements of her loss? Or is it the realization of how important Dove’s Eye really is to her? Is it from reeling from the heat of battle did she understand her love for the circus?

when she recovered though, she couldn’t let go of the Talon attack and the shifty business the staff had when transferring goods to and from stops. after some snooping through logbooks and laptops, she learned that the circus was illegally distributing + selling, and even stealing, tech and weapons for money. page after page, screen after screen, she found herself horrified that she was associated with such a corrupt organization. however, her extreme loyalty to the circus made her reluctant to think of resisting. despite her newly-gained knowledge, she not only went along w their illegal activity, but also cooperated with them, as the staff knew of Phuong’s revelations. she helped them transfer their goods through strictly negotiations, though she sometimes got into physical fights in the name of self defense and defense of her coworkers.

Admittedly, it does take a lot for someone’s loyalty and trust in a group that feels like home to them to waver in the face of a terrible truth. However, it doesn’t feel like you adequately established her loyalty. How did she grow to love the circus? Her job? Did her fellow performers feel like family? Did she enjoy the constant moving? What made her so loyal?

What led her to cooperate with something she found so hideous? Did she figure she would get punished? Did the punishment weigh more to her than the morally upright path?

Phuong continued w her magic acts, which gave her comfort in the suddenly unfamiliar environment she placed so much trust in. when the Second Omnic Crisis broke out, Phuong had extreme guilt about how much her circus was contributing to the new war in Russia through their distributions of tech and weapons to both sides. with information she fought for and stole from the ringleader, she exposed the hell out of her circus and was an integral part to their shutdown. from then on, Phuong performed solo and rose to be an international celebrity from her experience and charm

Personality: Phuong is a very coolheaded person who is dedicated to her craft and life mission. her life mission? to spread hope and happiness to those around her, no matter the cause. and she takes it extremely seriously, making her a very altruistic and charitable person. she takes it to the point where her obsession causes her to neglect her own needs and wants (but i’ll save that for later! :>)

like i’ve mentioned before, Phuong’s a successful magician and entertainer, so she’s naturally a charismatic and people pleasing person. what kinda makes her stand out to her fans though is the extent of compassion and exhaustion she’ll push herself for her fans. she’s on tour often and is constantly trying to think of new tricks to satisfy her audience and is always trying to make her fans smile and laugh a lil. she tends to be hands on w her fans, frequently having meet and greets and runs past her own security to high five a fan. maybe two. she’s as involved as she is because she solely believes that her life purpose is to give people hope and happiness. (take note: she feels she’s FATED for this, it’s not just an interest) (also, the repetition of hope comes from her dove theme!)

Beautiful character ;-;

with company, she’s a good conversationalist with the right amount of snark and is pretty chill. she likes to flirt and tease and finds nothing in it, so she doesn’t get flustered by it when other people do the same. she will, however, be very grateful and almost shy if you tell her how much you respect her work and spirit.

Not too shy I hope! A magician’s best quality is their confidence!

Relationships: i don’t mention Overwatch in my bio? i think she could be recruit material due to her knowledge of hard light, so these are possibilities if i decided to add Overwatch to her bio! these would affect in-game interactions too, i suppose

- Tracer and Emily: Phuong very much admires Lena as the embodiment of compassion and determination she is! Phuong also loves Emily for her cheeriness, and the three are just a bunch of big ol lesbians

- Symmetra: Phuong’s paid attention to Satya’s hard light work through media (since Phuong also uses hard light for magician work), and although she admires Satya for her skill, she feels sorry for her. Phuong herself has been tied to a criminal circus she dedicated her life to, so she feels some sympathy to Satya’s misguided loyalty to Vishkar.

Looks like it’s a distant relationship. Which brings to mind: how would Phuong try to approach Satya? Knowing her own troubled past, what would she come up with?

- Zarya: she finds Zarya very admirable due to her strength and how she gave up fame for her country, and Zarya finds Phuong interesting due to her beginnings in a Russo-Viet circus. they could sometimes be found talking about the beauty of Russia or working out together.

- Lúcio and D.va: Phuong is also a celebrity, so she’s sometimes chatting it up with them!

i can list a ton of other interactions, but basically she gets along with most people. in her canon lore, she admires Overwatch for their core motivation to uphold peace (and has a little bit of a crush on Tracer since she’s the poster girl). she also has an opinion on Talon, but in that she absolutely despises the destruction and harm they cause wherever they go and also that y'know. they kind of demolished her legs

Strengths: as previously stated, she’s not only hardworking but also a huge people pleaser to those she respects. because of this, she’s willing to perform to her extent to complete any task given to her, and maybe a lil more if she’s eager. Phuong is also a charismatic person and finds it easy to get along with other people, allowing her to work in a team and to draw people to her. physically, she’s an alert person and is quick on her feet, ready to slice and dice anytime.

Weaknesses: she’s willing to work to her extent, but that commonly means beyond her physical extent. she drives herself to exhaustion if left unattended and can sometimes become paranoid, making her waste more energy and ammo spent on her fear. Phuong is also an easily manipulated person, in that she realizes she’s being manipulated but allows it to go on due to her obsession with pleasing people. though it’s easy for her to focus on tasks, she also finds it hard to commit herself to people themselves, due to her complications with misplaced loyalty in Dove’s Eye. she finds herself distrustful of strangers and coworkers alike at times, tensed for them to reveal some horrible truth harming others. to somewhat cope with this, she tends to tease to feel “unattainable” and play hard to get with people who want to know her past friendly coworkers.

Glad to see the terrible, two-faced aspect of totally giving to others made manifest in this character.

Likes: she absolutely loves birds, especially pigeons and doves! she finds them extremely charming and finds delight in the coincidence that their symbolism corresponds with her life mission. she also takes an interest reading up in modern technology, especially in the realm of hard light (though she isn’t picky). romcoms are also her thing, since she loves the idea of, well, love and how it can make people happy. she also appreciates the comedy and often stores it in her mind to spice up her magic shows.

Dislikes: she is not a fan of overly authoritative, bossy people. she gets that there needs to be order, but if the person in command doesn’t deserve the respect in her mind, she’s very passive aggressive. on a more material side, she finds dolls uncomfortable in that they’re always in one expression and look kinda fake. and wooden floors. she loves how they look but can’t stand the idea of walking on them and scratching them up with her prosthetics.

Hobbies: as predictable as it is, bird watching! she loves writing down the birds she sees in a lil logbook and feeding them if she can. even when she’s not on a bird watching quest, you can bet she’ll whip out her phone to take a pic of a parakeet in a bird store she just finds adorable. Phuong also likes to dance and collect little things. she just got off her button high and is now collecting rocks

Extra: her general theme is magic and doves, especially their symbolism, so i hope that was apparent in my submission! but other than that, i think that’s it! thank you so so much for reading this in advance!! <3

Verdict:

I find Phuong to be a beautifully fleshed out character! She is exceptionally well designed, especially with the gauntlets and prosthetics. I would recommend you add some gold accents on her suit and hat, because the abrupt change from the golden tech to her dark purple clothing can be a little jarring. Perhaps some gold stripes on her shoulders, pant legs, and hat brim ought to do it.

“Recommend” is probably more in a personal taste here. The design stands on its feet well enough without further changes! (I just realized that might be a backhanded remark at Phuong’s... Uh.)

Her backstory stands well enough too, but some lack of detail makes it falter. See if you can try rewriting the climax of it, where Phuong finds out the Truth. You’ll find you’ll be able to sufficiently establish details this time around, I’m sure.

Her character is absolutely well done! The consistent inclusion of her general theme is a fine touch. Her quality of appearing perfectly amicable and peaceful on the outside while being perfectly not on the inside is quite well established too. It’s good if you put this detail into the conclusion (as it is) of her backstory. Perhaps it should go on to enumerate how her experience with Dove’s Eye changed her being.

Overall, Phuong is an excellent character. I recommend going over this sheet again and try rewriting some of the backstory. It has been the one I considered more thoroughly than the others. Good luck, and thank you very, very much for waiting. I know I’ve taken so much from your patience, and am very thankful you still hit me up after a long, long while.

Cheers.

-Mod Jager

#overwatch oc #oc review #phuong nguyen #chiefpharah #OC development #mod Jäger #submission

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stormysymphony · 7 years

Text

Excerpt from a book I’ll never write

“Akin...” The name had left my lips before I had time to think about how dangerous it was. The man who had appeared in front of us in the alley had taken a relaxed stance, the wind was playing with his cloak, revealing a sharp dagger hanging on his belt.

“Akin hm? You must be the thief, I thought you would be shorter but well, I guess that’s not important as long as you’re good in what you do.” The hooded man turned around to face the younger one standing beside me. Suspicion came into my mind. Was it possible? “Therefore, I guess you must be Mortimer. The assassin. Hm… My daughter spoke a lot about both of you.”

Right then, all my suspicions revealed to be true. I waited for him to bring his hood down and it revealed grey hair and curious black eyes. In this exact moment, a lightning strike the dark sky, showing the scar which was travelling from above his right eye to the corner of his lips. He wore his signature half mouthed smirk, which only tend to make him look more menacing. The scar was known by everyone in the city.

Before us stood the only man, who was more searched than me. The leader of the rebels. The Lord of the Revolution. His deep laughter erupted seeing our expressions, the same laugh he had when I told him about my new-found friends and that I wanted to leave to join them.

Mo gripped my arm and pulled me behind him in a protective way while I struggled to get away again.

“What do you want?” Akin’s voice was low. He was worried about my security. After all, I was the one the city guards were searching through the lands.

“Mo, let me go!” The urge in my voice must have startled Mortimer, he let go of me. I jumped into the man’s arms, shocking my friends. They weren’t used to me being so demonstrative of affection. And even more towards the leader of the rebels. Even if I told them I was close to the rebellion, they didn’t believe me. Otherwise, who would believe a patented liar? When we quit the embrace, I turned toward them and smiled brightly.

“Guys. Let me introduce you to Luke McGravy. The only man who I trust as much as I trust you.”

“And how…”

“I think you’ve spent enough time with my daughter to know she’s kind of secretive and a good storyteller. Unless it comes to the both of you. Then she is really talkative.” He laughed when I hit his chest, blushing furiously. Yet it was true. I had never tried to hide the important information’s from both of them. They just didn’t figure out those were real.

“I told you I was close to the revolutionaries.” My father’s arm was draped around my shoulders giving me a reassuring squeeze.

“You didn’t believe her, didn’t you? Don’t worry. No one believed her about you either. Or at lease none of the others. Oy I’m so proud of you girl.” I smiled up at him, before turning back towards my friends. Both still seemed shocked.

“Thank you, father.” I whispered while watching the reaction playing in the guy’s eyes.

His loud laugh echoed in the alley right when the thunder growled above us, making me burry myself in his side.

“Well kids, we have to leave. I think it would be better if no one sees you out here. Now that my daughter is close to steal my spot in the guard’s register.” Turning around he pulled me with him, without looking if my friends followed. But familiar steps echoed rapidly behind ours, showing they were trailing behind. Still silenced by the revelation. The Lord of the Revolution. Their friend’s father. “A thief and an assassin. This is hilarious. I’m proud of you, kiddo. You chose the right company.”

“Don’t forget the liar.” I said smiling lightly.

“Yeah. What a great bunch you make.” He laughed again making me feel home and safe. “Your mother would think otherwise I guess. She will yell at me for corrupting you like that.” He smiled fondly at that thought.

“Is she… Are you saying she is there too?” My voice was low. I never had met her. I only had heard of her, many times.

My father had sometimes spoken of her, when I was really young. But it were only memories. Like “She would cook this or that.” Never actual things. But that was how she was staying in my life. People had told me she was a high diplomate who fell in love with the bad boy. But the bad boy turned into a rebel against the government. And she had left. Because he had turned against her status. That’s what people told me about her. That she had left because of the things he did. Because she hated all the little criminals that were living in the gutter where my father had grown up. Because the main goal of our government was to get rid of them. Because she was part of this world, and not of his. But, never had anyone be able to answer how I came into the picture. After all, I was born by her.

The only time dad had really talked about her, he told me this: “She was a woman way out of my league. And yet she fell for a little rat like me. She was very young at that time, and her social position put her under a lot of pressure. Maybe I was just her way to escape for a while. Maybe I was the reason why she didn’t go insane. Maybe I was the reason why she left… She looked a lot like you, and had the same stormy eyes you have. We had the same kind of views towards our society. Just different approaches. But she was the golden shine where I was the silver light. There were reasons why she left, reasons I don’t know. But she did, and she must have had a bloody fine reason to. Because just as for me, you were the apple of her eye. The only difference between us was, that I would die to protect you, while she would have killed what endangered you. If you thought men were dangerous, never forget that women are terrifying when they decide to destroy you…” He had smiled fondly again, as if remembering some good memories. “She loved you to bits, do never doubt that. And Shorty, never forget that your mother was a storm, beautiful and strong. And that you, my child, daughter of a storm and an earthquake, are equally beautiful and strong, with a little pinch of devastation and power to it.” That night, a terrible thunderstorm had clouded the sky and terrified me. Because my mother was a storm, and I was terrified of meeting her.

“Yes, Shorty. Funnily she appeared right before I heard about your lil’ adventure, two days ago. But, she is back, and she can’t wait to meet you.” A chill run down my spine. I was going to meet my mother, the woman people told me was a high known person who couldn’t stay with the man she loved. The woman because of whom I started to lie. And I was going to meet her, the child she had left in the gutter, the child that grew up surrounded by angst and violence. The child that called a thief and a killer her best friends and who was a little in love with both of them. While the thunder growled louder above us, my heartbeat raised, thumping against my ribs as if it was trying to escape it. Thunderstorms were terrifying. And so was my mother to me.

I looked to my right into my father’s face. He hummed that one song he kept singing when I was younger and his arm never left my shoulder. I could see the shimmering dagger hanging by his belt, making me feel safe. The boys behind us started to bicker around, reminding me they were there. Both had been there for me so many times. In the gutter. In the prison. In the Grand Hall in front of the judges. In the graveyard. They wouldn’t leave now.

I straightened a little, trying to swallow my fear back down. I was going to meet my mother who was the reason I couldn’t sleep without nightmares, and who was terrifying me by her single thought…

@iamcmims

#short story #writing #writers #tumblr writers #tumblr writing community #excerpt from a story i'll never write #excerpt from a book i'll never write #story #love story #stories #books #booklr #book #rebel #adventure #A

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