#I feel like I’ll always be begging you or someone else for attention and affection and whatever else for the rest of my life | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pedropascallme · 4 months

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The Weather Ain't Been Bad

Pairing: Damien Haas x f!Reader

Summary: “You had barely made it off the last step, rounding the corner to the kitchen, when you heard a voice call your name. You flinched, hand flying to your chest in a brief moment of panic, not suspecting anybody else to be awake, let alone downstairs, while you were roaming the halls like some kind of restless spirit.”

Warnings: SMUT (18+ MINORS DNI) p in v sex, dom/sub dynamics, fingering, oral (f receiving), spitting, Damien is a biter but we knew that, lots of begging and even more praise, Damien likes getting his hair pulled but we knew that. If I missed anything please let me know!

“You look dumb.”

“I’ll literally—look at me, look at me. Shut up.”

You listened to Shayne and Angela argue in the back seat, their back and forth had started as a game of I-spy and quickly devolved into improvised insults on hour one of the drive after a patch of traffic resulted in a lack of things to spy.

“Literally nothing you say could ever affect me I don’t care about anything you have to say to me.” Shayne deadpanned and you heard Angela let out a shrill sound as she tried to climb out of her seatbelt to punch him in the arm.

“Hey, you know what would actually be really fun?” Damien, driving, looked back at them through the rearview mirror, “If you guys would, uh, shut the hell up?”

You laughed quietly; head propped up on the window as you watched the California landscape go from dusty highway to snowcapped trees. Hours long car ride aside, you were happy to be making the trip. It had never occurred to you that upon Anthony’s return to the company there would be a renaissance of Smosh content that didn’t have to do with the main channel, but when they announced the return of the Winter Games you felt a swell of joy—it was nice to be part of something that went back so many years and still continued to entertain the masses, especially when that something made you feel a cathartic sort of nostalgia.

And now, sitting in the front seat and listening to your friends threaten each other in increasingly ridiculous ways, watching Damien’s hand on the steering wheel, it went beyond simple nostalgia: It was pure ecstasy. The low hum of music on the radio paired nicely with the long road ahead, and you leaned back, closing your eyes for a moment.

You felt a hand on your knee, giving you a short squeeze. You opened your eyes, grabbing Damien’s hand and squeezing him back.

“What?” You playfully pushed his hand back towards his body, and he gripped the steering wheel.

“You’re my GPS, you can’t fall asleep.”

“I could navigate!” Angela leaned forward, elbows on the center console.

“You—you would get us lost in your own house, you psycho.” Amanda piped up for the first time in several minutes, placing a hand gingerly on Angela’s shoulder and laughing.

“Hey!” Angela turned her attention away from the front seat, pushing against Shayne, who had started laughing at her expense once more.

Damien glanced at you from his peripheral, as if to silently lament about your friends in the back seat, and you glanced back, smiling.

You appreciated the moments you got to spend with Damien. It wasn’t like they were rare; since you’d joined the cast, he was always someone you’d found a sort of reliability in, and a shared sense of humor went a long way. He was always a beacon of tranquility amongst the chaos of the office. He could be just as rowdy as everybody else—and often was—but he was always able to weed out when somebody needed a moment to recalibrate, and it felt like he knew what you needed before even you did sometimes. But he seemed to have that effect on most everybody, and you didn’t want to push too hard for something that might not be there, despite how happy you were to feel his hand on your back when he guided you through crowded spaces, or to hear him say your name in that faux-crestfallen way when you cheated in cards.

He turned his gaze back to the road, and you found yourself leaning against the window again, passively looking at his reflection in the trees that darted by, and thinking things that you decided should remain unsaid.

~~~

The house was gigantic, and even that was putting it lightly.

In theory, you recognized that you worked for a multi-million-dollar company, but it was more than a little weird to be standing in the doorway of a house big enough to hold at least 20 copies of your own apartment inside of it.

But you understood the want to splurge; it had been years since the last Winter Games, and even longer still since there had been a Games with Anthony. It was exciting, and even before you had gotten to the cabin-style mansion, there had been a buzz in the air; cast and crew alike vibrating in anticipation of a vacation-like period where things would be more akin to camp than to work.

Filming started immediately, and you barely had time to think about what exactly was happening before you were back in front of a camera.

Shoulder to shoulder with the rest of the cast, Ian and Anthony made picks for their respective teams; it was easy to forget that you were in a new space—it was like you’d never left the office, still in good company and laughing until your cheeks hurt. You donned the bright blue shirt that had been handed to you, and wondered how many raunchy, snow-related jokes you’d have to hear over the next week.

“Be honest with me,” you put the shirt on over the one you were already wearing, joining the side of the room with the rest of your teammates, “Are we gonna lose?”

Damien laughed, “With that attitude? Probably.”

Maybe the best part of the trip was the fact that this year marked the first time that everybody got their own room. You’d heard the stories—not that they were all that bad, but it was nice to know that even when surrounded by your friends for two weeks, you’d still be able to duck out for some private time in your own space.

Except that your room was freezing.

You hadn’t noticed it upon your arrival, coat still zipped up and adrenaline on high, but once you had showered and readied yourself for bed, you recognized the deep, unwelcome chill in your bones. The source evaded you; the windows were closed, the ceiling fan was completely still—it was a frustrating end to a long day.

You gave up, putting on a heavier sweatshirt and deciding that locating the source of the frigid air was a problem for tomorrow. There had to be extra blankets somewhere, and you tried to recall whether there had been any on the couches downstairs. Even if there weren’t, getting out of your room and regaining a little feeling in your fingers sounded appealing.

You quietly exited your bedroom.

Tiptoeing down the stairs, you shifted your weight awkwardly from side to side to avoid any sudden creaks from the old wood. The house was silent—save for the wind outside that howled against the windows every few moments—and you didn’t want to disturb the peace.

You had barely made it off the last step, rounding the corner to the kitchen, when you heard a voice call your name. You flinched, hand flying to your chest in a brief moment of panic, not suspecting anybody else to be awake, let alone downstairs, while you were roaming the halls like some kind of restless spirit.

“I’m sorry—did I scare you?” The familiar sound of timely apologies, whispered from across the room. You felt your heart settle. “I’m sorry.”

“Jesus, Damien,” you took measured breaths, “scared me.”

“Sorry,” his voice was low. He stood behind the kitchen island, hair messy, and it was clear he was struggling to sleep as much as you were.

“It’s ok,” you walked towards where he was standing, leaning over the island to grab at his arm reassuringly before letting go; his skin was warm against your palm, and even in the dark of the room you were unable to tear your eyes from him. “I didn’t think anybody else was up.”

“Yeah, well, it’s not by choice,” he sighed, “my room is a sauna.”

“You’ve got your own room, you couldn’t just strip down?” You raised your eyebrows, teasing him, trying not to think about how he might look spread out on his bed with nothing on.

“There are only so many layers I can take off until it’s, like, my skin,” he smiled, and you broke out into a quiet laugh.

“Well, my room is freezing, so,” you collected yourself a little, “I came down looking for more blankets, but if you wanted to switch…”

“Is the window open?” He furrowed his brow, seemingly concerned by your discomfort.

“Not even a crack,” you clarified, “Your room sounds like a dream to me right now.”

You didn’t realize how it sounded until he let out a snort, “Yeah, I get that a lot.”

“You know what I meant.” You rolled your eyes, and he reached over the counter to brush his hand against yours in a gesture of peace.

You stood quietly together, enjoying each other’s company and the calm of the house. You let your hand remain under his on the granite, and he didn’t make any moves to separate from you.

“Thanks for being a good sport about navigating,” Damien ran his other hand over his face, tired after the seemingly endless day. “I know it probably wasn’t your first choice.”

“Yeah, well. You better thank God we’re on the same team, otherwise I’d use 'competitive determination' as an excuse to get back at you for keeping me up." You shot back jovially, “But, you know…it was nice to help you out.” You paused. “I liked it, actually.”

He shot you a small smile, which you returned, and the two of you let silence fall again.

“How about I see if I can find the source of whatever it is that’s making you so cold?” He tilted his head, sincerely offering to help you, and you could never say no to an offer like that.

You could never say no to Damien.

“That would be nice.” You curled your pinky into the palm of his hand before turning to lead him to your room.

You were friends, always had been upon your entrance into the company; he was an undeniably important presence in your life for that very reason—he was there. He was always there when you needed him. He was supportive and kind and stupidly funny, and, yeah, incredibly attractive. But that didn’t mean it had to be something more. Just because you looked forward to the days he came into work with dark stubble that contrasted with the silver of his hair, just because you forgot the rules to certain games sometimes because you were too focused on the way his sleeves fit around his arms, just because you loved the way his eyes trailed over your face when you told him a story and he got just as animated as you did—it didn’t have to be anything more than friendship.

But realistically, despite your insistence to your friends and to yourself that you considered Damien a great, strictly-platonic friend and nothing more, you knew what you really wanted.

You knew you wanted more.

And despite the innocent context under which you were bringing him up to your room, there was a surge of adrenaline that coursed through your chest while he trailed behind you.

“Jesus,” he pushed his shoulders back upon opening the door to your room, goosebumps pricking his skin. “Some weather we’re having.”

“I told you,” you pushed past him, kicking a stray pair of socks into the corner. “You still think you can fix it?”

“They actually call me Damien “Fix-It” Haas,” he cracked his knuckles, “Don’t look into it.”

You smiled, shaking your head, spreading your arms out to signal that he could poke around freely.

It took him approximately ten seconds to locate the thermostat behind a curtain.

“Are you serious?” You kicked yourself for missing what should’ve been so obvious.

“I’m Damien,” he went straight-faced, “And this says sixty-five degrees—how are you not frozen solid?”

“Pure will.” Your head fell back in exasperation, “How did I miss that?”

“You’re tired,” he softened, “It’s been a long day, y’know, and I bet a lot of people are too dumb to look behind curtains—”

You cut him off with a curt but soft shove to his chest, and he grabbed your hands after they made impact, both of you semi-delirious from lack of sleep and falling into a fit of giggles. He removed one of his hands from you, leaning back to change the thermostat.

“It’ll heat up eventually,” he started, “What number do you want it at?”

“Warm.”

“So, that is not a number,” he smiled at you, “I’ll put it in the seventies.”

“Thank you,” you wriggled free of the grasp he still had on your wrist, “My hero.”

You stood facing each other for a moment, neither of you ready to part for some reason.

“I should go to sleep,” you finally spoke.

“Yeah.” He agreed, voice sounding raspier than it had before. He started to walk towards the door while you leaned back onto the pillows on the bed.

“Damien,” you didn’t know what you were doing, or if you should be doing it, but it felt only logical in the moment, “Stay.”

You watched him freeze in place, turning back to look at you.

“I mean…if your room is uncomfortable to sleep in—what, are you gonna sleep on the couch?” You continued, rambling to find reasoning behind your sudden offer, “You can just stay here tonight.”

“Seriously?” He scanned your features, trying to figure out if you were serious or if this was just a joke that he hadn’t caught onto yet.

“Yeah.”

“Are you sure—?”

“I’m just saying, it’s not fair that you have to spend the night in discomfort. Especially after you fixed the temperature in here.” You felt a red heat rising in your ears, but you soldiered on, still waiting for a yes or no. You watched as he turned to walk towards the door again, and your heart sank a little, before he closed the door in front of him and walked back to you.

“One hell of a sleepover—one bed, no snacks, and you don’t even have a Wii,” He feigned disappointment.

“But I hear when mom goes to sleep, they bring out Kevin’s mom.” You smiled, digging your heels into the comforter, and he laughed at the callback.

He sat on the mattress, leaning back on the pillows with you, and you used it as an excuse to angle yourself towards him, resting your head lightly on his shoulder.

“I can sleep on the floor. If you want…” He whispered, and you felt his fingers trail up your own hand.

“No,” you turned to look at him, still on your back but suddenly very aware of the proximity to which you were lying next to each other, letting him continue to run his hand along your arm. “It’s still cold in here.”

“I can turn the heat up—”

You watched as he traced the curve of your elbow with his finger before letting it fall back to your hand, “Damien, stop being a gentleman. Just share the bed with me.”

“Ok.” He stopped moving, gaze falling on you and swallowing shallowly. You laced your fingers with his. You were certain he could see your heart beating through your ribcage, or at the very least he could see the way your pulse bounced in your wrist. “Yeah, ok.”

You didn’t undress, didn’t even get under the covers, but something felt so intimate; a shift in the air. Maybe it was the new warmth that permeated throughout the room, but it was different, in the best way.

It felt like more.

He didn’t touch you, didn’t even graze your back when you turned over to get comfortable. But you felt his breath on the back of your head, rustling your hair and drifting over the back of your neck.

Your eyes stayed open, unable to let sleep take hold despite the tranquility; the moon bounced off the snow and caused a dim light to trickle through the window, and you were wide awake.

You shifted again, turning back over to face Damien. His eyes were closed, and you watched the subtle movements of his body, chest rising and falling softly with each breath.

“It’s creepy to watch people sleep.” He whispered, and you bit your tongue, unsure of what to say. Busted. He opened one eye and broke into a small smile. “Are you gonna murder me?”

“Haven’t decided yet.” You whispered back, nearly letting the sound of the wind outside drown you out.

“I could take you,” he propped himself up on his arm.

“Is that a challenge or a blanket statement?” You raised an eyebrow, “Because I wasn’t going to murder you, but those are fighting words.”

“What do you think?” He was goading you now, waiting to see if you’d back down from whatever this was, if there was a line you were going to draw.

“I think I could kick your ass.” You sat up on your knees.

“Yeah?” He looked at you, skeptical. You couldn’t think of what to say, couldn’t tell what this was, or what would happen if you crossed the physical boundary into his space.

You threw caution to the wind for the second time within the hour.

You launched yourself towards him, and he let his arm fall to the side, lying on his back as you clambered to straddle him. Grabbing his wrists, you pulled his hands above his head, letting out a small huff of victory.

You couldn’t recall a time where you’d ever been this close to Damien before. There was a pool of heat in your stomach that you tried to write off as a burst of energy—adrenaline hitting in the middle of the night—while you rationalized being in this position with him. With your friend. It was just wrestling; a playful act among companions. You’d seen people do it all the time in the office. Courtney put Spencer in a headlock the other day—you’d seen her do it to Ian the day before that. It was fine. It wasn’t anything other than roughhousing.

It didn’t have to be anything more.

“I told you.” You gloated.

“I was in a vulnerable position. This is hardly what I would call a fair fight.”

“Don’t be a sore loser.”

“I’m being a sore loser?” He smiled, all teeth, and you were about to respond, tell him that you had won, fair and square, and that if he wanted to lose again, you’d grant him the rematch he clearly wanted so desperately.

Instead, he flipped you onto your back, knee between your legs and one hand pinning your wrists above your head just as you had done to him.

“Never let your guard down,” He laughed, and you bit back a smile.

“That’s not fair.”

“That’s what a sore loser would say.” He taunted, and you thought you felt his grip tighten around your wrists.

You looked up at him, unsure where to go from here.

Surely, you’d separate, turn over and away from each other, fall asleep, and then act like nothing was different tomorrow—because nothing was different. Nothing had changed. This was nothing.

But you liked the way he looked like this; his knee caught between the V of your own legs, the muscles in his arm tense from the grip he had on you, his other hand planted on the bed at your side, just close enough for you to feel the heat radiating off of it. You watched him swallow.

“Tell me to let go,” he whispered, his voice gravelly. “Tell me to let go and I will.”

You didn’t move. You didn’t make a sound. All you could do was stare up at him, before you reminded yourself to speak, to say anything, to finally reveal what it was you wanted.

“Kiss me.” You were worried he wouldn’t hear it over the wind, words coming out small and breathy, but you saw the way the muscle in his jaw clicked.

He was on you instantly, colliding with you in a frenzied kiss. He let go of your wrists, and your hands came down to trail over his back, pulling him closer to you by the back of his neck. He bit at your bottom lip, and the sharp sting was counteracted quickly by the way his tongue darted over it, exploring you while you whined underneath him. He licked into your mouth, and you sucked at his tongue before letting his exploration continue, your hands reaching under the back of his shirt in an attempt to get closer, to let him suffocate you with his attention.

He pulled back, lips pink and cheeks blushed, his hand coming to hold your jaw and encourage you to open wider. He spit into your open mouth, before pushing on your jaw, encouraging you to close it. You did, swallowing his offering before opening your mouth again, sticking out your tongue as proof of your deed.

“Fuck,” he growled, hand still on your face when he reconnected his mouth to yours. It was needier now; sloppy and wet, and you could taste him perfectly like this, your spit mingling with his, licking into his mouth to get as much of him as you could.

He trailed down your body, leaving kisses on any skin available to him. The collar of your shirt exposed your clavicle, and he bit into the skin around it, sinking his teeth into you just enough for red marks to appear, before sucking a bruise onto the skin of the bone.

“Camera,” you reminded him haphazardly, “Nothing the camera can see—” You combed your fingers through his hair, pulling hard to ensure he listened to your warning, and he groaned at the pressure, removing his mouth from you.

“Right,” He was breathing hard, thumb rubbing circles on the bruise he had just made, low enough on your chest that your shirt would cover it—a secret between the two of you. He leaned back down, lips wrapping around the pulse point below your ear and peppering gentle kisses on it. You ground your hips onto him, his knee still planted between your thighs, stabilizing his position, and you felt the fabric of your pajamas catch perfectly on your clit, letting out a soft moan.

Damien watched, lips parted, as you bucked your hips against his thigh; some area of his brain wanted to let you continue, let you bring yourself to the edge by using him like this, but that was outweighed by the part of him that wanted so desperately to be the one making you cum; he wanted to make you fall apart, wanted to see how pretty you looked when he was making you feel good.

He moved his leg, effectively straddling you, and you let out a whimper of discontent, disappointed by the sudden loss of friction when you had been so close to what you needed.

“I know, baby,” his voice was cloying, clearly finding your whines enticing in a twisted sort of way; call it sadistic, but he didn’t want you putting in any work—he wanted to be in charge of all your pleasure. “I’ll let you finish, I promise,” he licked a stripe up your neck. “Tell me what you need.”

“Want your mouth,” you were quick to answer.

“Ask nicely.”

“Please, I want your mouth on me Damien—please.”

“You want my mouth?” He nipped at your jawline, “Want me to fuck you with my tongue?”

You nodded, entranced by how devious he looked, pupils blown out, swallowing the moon’s reflection, silver hair messy from being pulled on and falling over his eyes, skin flushed pink; you were absolutely overcome with need watching him at his most primal.

He moved further down your body, situating himself between your legs and tucking his fingers beneath the waistband of your pajamas; you lifted your hips when he began to pull the fabric off of you, slowly, and you tried in vain to push your pants off faster.

“Uh-uh,” he moved his hands to cover yours, “be patient.”

You removed your hands from the flannel waistband, placing them over your chest and trying to crane your neck to watch him. It felt like an eternity before he finally let the fabric pool around your ankles, sliding them off with help from you kicking gently against the air. If ever there was a time to be thankful that you didn’t sleep in underwear, it would be now.

Moving back towards your core, he pulled your legs over his shoulders, still concentrated on making you comfortable even while most of his focus was on your naked cunt.

“Do you always get wet this quickly?” He let you hook your knee behind his head, looking up at you from between your legs.

“Shut up,” you felt suddenly embarrassed, as if it was only now, with his breath fanning your spread legs, that he had become suspicious of your attraction to him.

“That’s a no, then?” He smirked and your embarrassment dissipated when you saw the prideful smile.

Damien’s eyes shifted then from your face to your inner thigh, turning his head to suck marks on it just as he had on your neckline. He bit into the supple flesh, just hard enough to leave an outline of his teeth, before kissing bruises onto the same spots. You let out a contented sigh, and he squeezed your other thigh before turning his head again to repeat the process on that side. Licking stripes up your legs and into the joint of your thigh, he stopped short of where you wanted him, letting out a hum every time you exhaled in frustration at the lack of attention your cunt was getting.

He liked riling you up, seeing your brow furrow and your cheeks redden in frustration at not getting what you had asked for.

He relented when you started whispering pleas of his name, hand buried in his hair and pulling gently at the roots for him to use his mouth on you like he had said he would. You gasped at the contact of his tongue on your clit, the way he flattened the muscle to slide over you before moving it in slow circles over your bud. His fingers dug bruises into your thighs, holding them over his shoulders and pulling you closer to him when he finally started licking circles around your hole.

“Fuck—fuck!” you couldn’t get another word out, too focused on the way he dove into you and lapped up your slick. He was messy but masterful, letting your juices and his spit trail down over the curve of your ass while making your back arch off the mattress, hand still in his hair and unsure of whether you wanted to push him down further or pull him off due to the overwhelming sensation.

The sounds were pornographic, wet and filthy, and when you pulled harder on his hair he let out a low growl that displayed his pleasure while heightening your own.

“You taste so fucking sweet,” he groaned into you, spitting onto your dripping cunt before indulging once more in your taste. You became aware of the way his hips ground into the mattress with every flick of his tongue and every mewl you let out. “Cum for me like this, baby, can you do that? Let me taste it?”

You threw your head back at his words, pressure building in your stomach at the way he clearly got so much enjoyment from making you feel good, paired with the way his teeth grazed your clit, sucking on you until you saw stars and then pulling away to do it again. One of his hands fell from your leg, and he brought it to your cunt, spitting once before pushing two fingers in. You squirmed, moaning, as he curled them towards him and fluttered them over the spongy spot inside of you. He dragged his tongue over your clit one more time, and you were catapulted over the edge, dizzy with lust, pleasure coursing through you like an electric current.

Damien moved back up the bed, hugging you to him while you trembled with the aftershocks of your orgasm, muttering words of praise.

“Did so fucking good,” he kissed the top of your head, “Such a good girl—was that ok? Are you alright?” His thumb ran over your cheek, and he dipped his head down to leave kisses in its wake.

You let out a shaky breath, adjusting your position to throw your leg over his side before wrapping your arms around him to pull him down for a kiss.

“So good.” You muttered, tasting yourself on his lips. You rolled your hips against his lazily, reaching down to trail your hand over his evident bulge. “More.”

“Yeah?” He groaned, taking in the way your hand felt on his clothed cock.

“Please.” You looked up at him through your lashes.

He reconnected his lips to yours, moving slowly and swallowing your sounds.

“You want me like this?” He whispered, hands sweeping over your body, “Gonna let me fuck you into the mattress?”

Your hips bucked on their own accord, and you nodded feverishly. He sat up, pulling you up after him, and reached under the hem of your shirt to help you remove it. He got distracted by the sight of your chest, the swell of your breasts and the way you looked at him expectantly.

“You’re so pretty,” he almost laughed, absolutely delighted by you, as he leaned down to suck a bruise on the valley between your breasts. He nipped at the pillowy skin, teeth skimming your nipple when he took it into his mouth, barely putting pressure on it until your hand flew to his hair in a gesture to make him continue, to give you more. You whimpered, sitting on your knees with his face pressed against your chest.

He stood up, removing his shirt quickly before untying the cord of his pants.

“There’s really nothing sexier than a man in pajama bottoms,” he made a face as he fumbled with the knot of the string, finally undoing it with a sharp tug.

“I’d have to agree.” You shot him a smug look and he shook his head, smiling. He situated himself back on the mattress, pushing you onto your back and kissing your neck. You let out a quiet yelp when you landed on the pillows, laughing softly. You still felt dizzy, the entire situation leaving you completely shocked but admittedly thrilled, and when you saw him looking down at you, you felt words leave your mouth before you could filter them.

“I’ve wanted this for a really long time.”

Damien smiled again, kissing your forehead before dipping down to trail kisses over your jaw. “Me too.”

“So, uh,” You let your hand wander down his body, stopping at the base of his cock and teasing your fingers around it, “You gonna fuck me into the mattress now?”

He grabbed your hand, and in a parallel to the situation that got you here, pinned it above your head.

“Is that what you want?” His pupils swallowed his irises, giving him the appearance of someone completely lost in desire. It made you greedy for more.

“Yeah.” You breathed.

“Tell me.”

“I want you to fuck me.”

“No. The whole thing. Say it.”

“I want…” You felt dirty saying it out loud, and that was half the appeal, “I want you to fuck me into the mattress.”

“That’s right. You gonna beg for it?”

You liked him like this, so cocky and domineering. It made you feel breathless, head swimming with what was to come. Dominance looked good on him.

“Please, Damien,” you swallowed, squirming slightly in anticipation.

“C’mon, you can do better than that.” He practically scoffed, “Beg.”

“Fuck me, please,” you felt yourself growing frustrated, and you could feel your heart beating in your cunt. “I was so good—I’ve been so good, please, I’ll take what you give me I promise just—please, please fuck me.”

The hand that wasn’t wrapped around your wrist fisted his cock, and you tilted your head to watch him stroke himself while he lined up with your entrance. You whined, hoping that maybe it would make him move faster.

“What did I say about being patient?” He chided, and your head fell back onto the pillows.

“Please, Damien.” You couldn’t have hidden your eagerness if you tried.

“One more time.” You felt the tip of his cock between your folds, collecting your slick and nudging your entrance.

“Please—yes!” You gasped when he pushed his hips forward, eyes rolling back slightly at the way he filled you completely in one stroke.

“Good girl.” He grabbed your other hand, now pinning both your wrists down over your head, giving him a full view of your body underneath him. “You feel good? Worth the wait?”

You nodded your head, mouth open and eyes wide, mesmerized by the stretch and the feeling of him seated deep inside of you.

“Tell me—use your words,” His own patience was wearing thin, and you could tell he was waiting for the opportunity to fuck you the way he wanted to.

“Feels so good, Damien,” you nodded again, “Move—fuck me, please.”

He exhaled, content with your answer and subsequent request. He drew his hips back far enough to nearly pull out of you, before slamming back against you and bottoming out completely. You let out a moan, and his free hand covered your mouth.

“Gotta be quiet, baby” he whispered.

You nodded underneath his hand, remembering all the other people in the house, and he pulled it away from your mouth before pushing two fingers through your lips.

“That’ll keep you busy, right?” He smiled and you moaned softly around his fingers, tongue circling them behind your lips.

Damien copied his initial sharp thrust, pushing into you with enough force to move you up the bed repeatedly, watching the way your breasts bounced with the movement. Letting go of your hands briefly, he brought one of your legs up to his shoulders, deepening the position, and you whimpered around the fingers in your mouth.

“God, you’re fucking perfect. Sound so pretty, baby” he groaned, grinding his hips against you to get a feel for how deep he was inside of you, “So pretty letting me fuck you like this.”

He took his fingers from your mouth, toying with your nipples and using the residual spit to lubricate his movements. His other hand left your wrists, focused now on holding himself above you while he drove in and out of you.

You squirmed under him, overstimulated and needy, and your newly freed hands grabbed at whatever they could hold onto; one gripping his arm, nails leaving crescents in his skin, while the other fisted the sheets, and Damien took note of the way your face contorted when his thrusts became rougher.

“You like that?” His voice was as kind as it usually was, but with an edge to it now, driving into you hard. “That feel good, baby?”

Your moans were increasingly high-pitched, and all you could offer was a jumble of reassuring whines. You pulled him down by the back of his neck, lips meeting for a feverish, passionate kiss. He bit your bottom lip, keeping it between his teeth and tugging at it, before letting his tongue push forward into your mouth.

You moaned into him, his cock pushing against your most sensitive spot. You arched your back, silently begging for more, and he followed your unspoken instructions, fingers finding your clit between your bodies and kneading tight circles over it.

You let out a ragged cry of his name, cunt squeezing around him as you came; he pulled you into him, arm wrapping under your body, to kiss you fervidly, groaning at how you felt clenching so tightly around him.

“That’s right, baby, cum for me,” he fucked you through your high; long, deep strokes at a much slower pace bringing you back down to earth, “Good fucking girl.”

“Oh my god,” you mumbled, drowsy and overstimulated, happy to be enveloped by him.

“Where do you want me, baby?” His thrusts picking back up slightly, eager for his own release.

“Anywhere you want,” you kissed up the side of his neck, whining at the feel of his cock as he dragged his hips back before sinking back into you, “Wanna make you cum, please.” You rubbed your cheek against his, the friction from his short stubble soothing you.

“You want me to cum for you?” Even now, he kept teasing, “My good girl wants me to cum for her? So fucking greedy.”

You whined, wordlessly, trying to move your hips to match his thrusts, intent on pleasing him the way he had you.

“Spit,” he offered you his hand, and you licked his palm before spitting into it.

He squeezed you tight, using the arm still underneath you to lift you up slightly and get a few last thrusts in as deep as he could manage. Upon pulling out, he fucked his fist with the hand you had prepared for him, spilling over your cunt. You whimpered at the feeling, and the thought of his cum mingling with your own between your legs.

Breathing heavy and uneven, Damien took a moment to collect himself. He leaned over the side of the bed, finding his discarded shirt and grabbing it; he wiped between your legs, careful to go slow and gentle over your more sensitive spots. He threw the shirt back over the side of the bed when he deemed you properly cleaned up.

“Thank you,” you spoke up, nuzzling into his side.

He hummed, kissing your head and moving stray hairs from your face. “Was that…it wasn’t too much, was it?”

“Damien,” you looked up at him incredulously, “It was perfect.”

“Not too rough?”

“The perfect amount of rough.”

He wrapped an arm around your shoulders, rubbing his thumb over your skin. “Did you mean what you said?”

“That I wanted to make you cum?”

“Well—mm. Kinda gathered that that was the truth. No, I mean, when you said you’ve wanted this…for a while.”

“Of course I meant it.” You fidgeted with the fingers he had draped around your shoulder. “Did you mean it when you—”

“Yeah.” He cut you off.

“You didn’t know what I was going to ask.”

“What were you going to ask?” He quipped.

“Now I’m not telling you.” You rolled your eyes, playfully turning away from him. Damien used the hand he had on your shoulder as leverage to pull you back against him, and you landed against his chest.

“Did I mean it when I said I wanted this, too?” He finished your question for you, “Yeah. I meant it. One hundred percent, I did.” He pressed his cheek against the crown of your head, “Was worried that wanting more was a, I dunno, like a…thought it would make you uncomfortable. So, I just—not that I don’t like being your friend—but I tried to behave myself. Y’know? Even though...” His gaze flicked over your face, "I always wanted more."

“Is this where you tell me that you orchestrated this whole thing by turning down the heat in here?” You joked, tired and satisfied and so utterly content that he, too, wanted more than the friendship you had cultivated with one another—thrilled that you had been on the same page all along; the initial paranoia over the implications of being attracted to the other, and now basking in the relief that your affection was mutual.

“I’m flattered that you think I have that kind of forethought. But no,” he laughed. “Just got lucky.”

“In so many respects.” You giggled, listening to his heartbeat against your cheek.

“Thanks for letting me stay.” He held you tighter, as if a loose grip would cause you to slip away from him.

“Thanks for staying.”

#damien haas #damien haas fanfiction #damien haas smut #damien haas x reader #damien haas x you #smosh #smosh fanfiction #smosh fic #smosh smut #smosh games #smosh pit #smoshblr

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kizzywh · 1 year

Text

The World Stops (Matty Healy X AFAB Reader)

Warnings: none (just fluff!)

This is my first fanfiction- but requests are open for Matty Healy, and criminal minds.

Will there be a part 2?

Bio: you would never forget your first kiss… and neither will someone else.

1.5k words

Your POV

Seeing The 1975 live had always been a dream of mine. And somehow, I found myself at the front of the barrier, a stroke of luck perhaps? Seeing him in person was a whole new experience. None of the videos I had seen had ever done him justice. He came across as pretentious, overconfident almost, but part of me knew that wasn’t really him.

The set was amazing. The lights, the sound, him. But then it got to Robbers. Matty singing soulfully into the microphone, adoring fans begging silently to receive his kiss. I admit, I was one of them. But I hung back. It was not going to be me, fighting against a sea of people, vying for a second of his time.

“But if you just take off your mask, you’d find out everything's gone wrong...”

But suddenly he is off the stage, almost diving at the barriers, hands reaching for him, screaming, begging for them to be his robbers kiss. then he’s there. In front of me. I don’t reach for him; I know it’s not possible he’s here for me. He’s here for the loud girls, the ones that give him the most attention. but then two soft hands are on my face, I’m being pulled forward, and his lips crash against mine.

The world stops.

Matty’s POV

Robbers is the one the fans go crazy for. Its that one song that they could be the main character, people so desperate for an inch of my attention. I’m happy to give it, I know I look good doing it, and I know many videos will surface tomorrow of those screaming fans. I’ll repeat the same set night after night, and every time, they’re looking for the robbers moment.

“But if you just take off your mask, you’d find out everything's gone wrong...”

I jump off stage, heading for the barrier. Girls screaming, lights flashing, but there’s someone holding back. Almost pulling away from the front. Her (y/hc) is almost glowing in the lights. So, I do something I’ve never done before. I reach for her. I see her face, it’s a face of pure shock. I smile, milking the moment for what its worth, before pulling her forward, and pressing my lips against hers.

The world stops.

Something in my brain flips. Like a jump start. It fizzes in the back of my mind, but I get back on stage and finish the set. Applause, a thank you, and the show is done.

Two months later

I can’t stop thinking about her. I’ve done shows since, and no one like her has ever been at a show again. I’d never felt that feeling before. I don’t know if I’ll feel it again. Ross taps my shoulder, repeating something that he’s already said, “you alright mate?” he says again, looking visibly concerned. Nodding, I go back to scrolling through Instagram, trying to find more footage from that night. Something about her…

Your POV

Since that night, my heart beats faster at the sight of him on TikTok. I can barely focus. He was my first kiss. Matty Healy. The boy I’d loved irrevocably since I was thirteen. Staring back at myself in the mirror, I reach to touch my own reflection, barely recognising it. How had something so little, something he won’t even remember, have affected me so badly?

I tread quietly, heading to the kitchen, the dull tick of the clock, and a slow buzz as the kettle heats up, are the only sounds. I log in to Instagram, and there he is. Kissing me. I look visibly shaken in the photo, the comments are full of people desperate to know who I am, how I feel, and I almost laugh. I barely know myself.

But then I do something brave, something I’d never have done in the past. I type: “that was me.,” and close my phone, hot tears threatening to spill from my eyes, all for a boy who doesn’t know I exist.

Matty’s POV

“That was me” - @stolenpetals

Something jolts within me. could it be? Was it someone pretending to be her? Twisting a curl of hair, I click on the profile. I don’t know why. It can’t be.

But it is.

Her glowing hair, a smile that seems barely there. Another post now, a lyric from Somebody Else this time, with a cup of coffee in a porcelain mug, in a coffee shop in... wait. Manchester? I know this one. I scroll further, noticing every Friday the same coffee, different mug, appears on her profile. It seems ritualistic, a simple pleasure she enjoys. A sudden pang of longing fills me. why? What is it about her?

I have to find her.

Your POV

Another Friday, the same coffee shop. My favourite. The staff know me by name, the deep burgundy walls being cast into a glow by lamps, my cosy chair in the corner, with another opposite, that always remained empty. Ordering my usual (oat milk latte, two sugars), I sit down. Another rainy day in Manchester, the rain seems to pound the windows. Looking out, I see people scurrying under umbrellas, carrying briefcases, no doubt going to work, or to see their family. I barely notice a person sit in the chair opposite me.

Matty’s POV

Its her. She’s staring out of the window; and doesn’t notice me walking in. good, I think to myself. I need to collect my thoughts; I don’t even know if I should be here. Wrapping my grey trench coat around myself, I push the curls out of my eyes, and order a black coffee, waiting at the counter, tapping my foot. Why am I nervous?

Looking around, I am surprised I haven’t been here before. It’s something of a time capsule, the glowing lights on the walls making the room look cosy and inviting, a bleak opposite to the rain pouring outside. Taking the cup of coffee, I slowly walk toward her, sitting in the armchair opposite. She doesn’t seem to notice, too wrapped up in her own thoughts. I take a deep breath, and say “hello.,” it comes out weak, shy, an unusual feeling for me to experience, but it’s her.

Your POV

a voice grabbing me from my reverie. Someone is sat in the armchair opposite, wearing a grey trench coat, and he sounds nervous. Looking up, I see a tall, skinny man, with unmistakeable brown curls sticking to his forehead. He’s brushing through them now, before he speaks again. “Hello?” stronger this time, he has something to say.

“…m-Matty...?” I almost whisper, shocked, terrified to be in the presence of this man again. My first kiss.

“y/n.” he mumbles, barely coherent. How does he know my name?

He crosses a long leg over another, biting his lip nervously, before reaching a slender hand towards mine. He takes my hand almost wordlessly, and his touch, although tentative, is electric. Part of me can’t let go of his hand. Looking up into his deep brown eyes, trying to collect my thoughts, his thumb brushes my knuckle, and I can’t think anymore. Looking away, focusing on everything, ANYTHING, before a hand slowly cups my chin, gently making me look at him.

The coffee shop melts away. In this moment, it is just me, and Matty. He looks deep into my eyes, searching, for permission maybe? Before softly, he brushes his lips against mine.

I feel it.

Matty’s POV

I don’t know why I want to kiss her again. Is it wrong? She’s staring off into the distance, and I’m emboldened. Gently, tilting her chin, bringing her back to me, I look her in the eyes. I don’t know what I’m searching for, but I think I find it. I must’ve found it, because suddenly, my lips are on hers again.

I feel it.

She is staring at me now, as I pull away. She grips my hand tight in hers, before whispering, “why me...? out of any of the fans. why me?”

It’s a good question. And one I’ve been asking myself for weeks. But I know the answer. “Because you held back. No one does that for robbers, they all want their robbers moment. But you didn’t. or, at least, you thought you didn’t, but please, tell me you felt it…” I’m almost whispering now, keeping her gaze, “like the world stopped… I’ve kissed so many fans, but before you, and after you, I’ve never felt that feeling. And I don’t think I’ll feel that again. There’s something about you, y/n. and I don’t think I can walk away from this table right now and just pretend I never met you, because somehow, I think, I’m in love with you.”

Your POV

Listening to him talk is like listening to a poet, he’s rambling, barely audible, but I hear him. And softly, squeezing his hand a little, I smile, for the first time in a long time, before saying quietly. “Shall we get out of here...?”

The world starts again.

#matty healy x reader #matty healy #the 1975 #bfiafl #ross macdonald

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essentialsugar · 2 years

Text

" Your Smile is My Life's Work "

Summary: Your goal is to make Idia smile! And seeing that smile makes you feel at ease . . . Well, somewhat.

+ . - . + . - . + . - . + . - . +

warnings : gn!reader [they/them], reader is mostly using [you/you’re/your], grammar errors, OOC

Note : Yall, I’m so sorry for not posting so much 😭 Anyways, my backs been hurtin’ and like 🥰..yah. Plus I was originally gonna do Idia, EPEL, and Ruggie but I gave up on that..I’ll write them later for sure.

character(s) : Idia Shroud

Idia Shroud :

Both you and Idia had become very close to each other after bonding through watching anime and having debates about them. After all this time, you’ve never seen Idia have a genuine smile before (he probably did but you just never saw it ☠️). So, because of this, your goal has been making Idia smile! Of course with the help of Othro.

After asking Othro to help you get Idia to smile and hang out with him (outside of his room), he agreed and both of you started planning and brainstorming ideas for it! One plan suddenly came to mind and Operation 1 : make Idia go out with you and MAKE HIM SMILE began.

+ . - . + . - . + . - . + . - . + . - . +

As both you and Idia we’re bickering over an anime, Othro decided to step into the conversation speaking logical sense as always (although being biased a bit just to make his brother happy). Idia gave you his signature smile while you sulk over your defeat saying how “this isn’t fair..” or “these brothers are something else..”, etc.,. “Fuhehe, I told you that Mrs. Helena is more stronger than Mr. Hampeter!” You glared at Idia, “Oh shut it. Mr. Hampeter would’ve won if he didn’t make that person flying across the damn arena!”

You sighed as you watched Idia do his little cheering. Othro floated towards you while giggling a bit; tapping your shoulder to gain your attention and whisper to you, “Are you sure this is going to work Y/N?” “Have trust in me Othro! This plan will work if everything goes accordingly.” You whisper-shouted to Othro as Idia was still engross by his little victory and the anime.

Even though you thought it would go accordingly. . .it didn’t. “Idia come on! It won’t be that bad I promise!” You begged as you tugged on the sleeves of a certain fiery-haired person. “No way, IRL is too scary for me! Just imagining myself going outside my comfort zone just to talk to normies is enough for me to pass out!” Idia screeched while (surprisingly) holding onto the base of his bed. You gave out a little cry of defeat and let go of his sleeve. In relief Idia hurried up and scurried over to his gaming chair just to hide from you. “E-even if you tried, I won’t go out.” Idia said as he peered at you behind his gaming chair.

This was a lost cause; you shook your head. But an idea came to mind. “Okay then..fine. I was hoping to give you a surprise at the end of the day if you were to go outside with me. Guess like that was a waste of madols.” Idia perked at this and slowly peeked out of his chair interested with wide-eyes. “Looks like I could just give this to someone else if they even want it.” Idia leaped at this and gave out a terrified cry. “W-WHAT? NNONONONONO-“ his hands were waving in the air, “I’ll go! I’ll go! Sheesh..”

Moments passed by as you two walked along the halls of Night Raven College. With Idia clinging to you like he’s on death row, you both got weird stares and Idia seemed to be affected by it. “I should’ve declined your request..this mission is impossible” Idia mumbled while holding tightly onto your arm, "Also, why do you have a bag? D-DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE GOING TO CHOP ME UP SOMEWHERE!" he cried. You smiled and stifled a laugh "Idia, I would never chop you up. No need to worry!" Idia gave out a small whimper while following you closely from behind.

Passing through the countless classrooms, you hurriedly dragged Idia outside. The sudden movement surprised Idia but he kept up with your pace, slightly panicking of course. "U-uhm..Y/N? Where are we going..? This walk is tiring me out and you know I'm not good with these type of stuff." He became jittery. Even though Idia couldn't see it, you had a mischievous smile on your face. "Once again, I said not to worry about it Idia!" He sighed and continued to follow you, just a bit on edge though.

"We're here!" You exclaimed happily. Idia shifted slightly just to see what it was that made you drag him for at least an hour or so, (it was actually just 15 mins, but ya'll know how Idia is sometimes) though, it did make his eye twitch and...disappointed? "...What is this suppose to be?" You gave out a little laugh and gestured him to come o where you're standing. Idia was confused and hesitant, but he complied anyways. "You remember how I said I had a surprise for you? I didn't lie about that by the way hehe." Idia turned his head to look at you, well, probably a little too quick. His eyes looked like it was going to bulge out at any second. But, you noticed that his lips has seemingly curled up-wards a bit after you said that. You shook your head and reflected a smile back at him. "Anyways, I remembered that you've been wanting this figurine for a while now, so here."

Idia looked at you expectantly as you shuffled around your little bag carrier and pulled out a neatly wrapped gift. He gasped and snatched it out of your grasp. "H-hey! I didn't even-" "THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!!" You were surprised about his outburst, it even looked like he was crying. He carefully unwrapped the gift with one of the biggest grin you've ever seen him with. A sweat came rolling down as you scratched your cheek and nervously smiled at him while he was rambling about the figurine.

I mean...anything to make him smile right? Even if it costed you your whole life savings. Broke people unite!

+ . - . + . - . + . - . + . - . + . - . +

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #idia shroud x reader #idia x reader #idia shroud #idia #twisted wonderland idia #idia my beloved

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porvajsjd · 1 year

Text

Love in Spring

If I’m reading this to you over call on 14th I love you.

If I’m sending you this through an email or a text I still love you the same as I did when I first laid my eyes on you.

But If you’re sitting in front of me while I read this to you, kiss me as if this is the last time we’re seeing each other.

It’s been 1 year, 12 months, 39 days and a couple of minutes since I’ve been in love with you vaadish singh.

And you’ve turned my life upside down. Quite literally. There is absolutely no doubt within my heart, that I am meant to be with you and you to be with me. At least in this lifetime.

Since we are parting ways, perhaps I don’t know for how long, I feel I must unburden my heart. You are the fond object of my affection and my desire. You are what I crave for. You are what I want to settle for, and if it’s not you I don’t want it.

I think you understand what it takes me to think about you and not think about the visible distance between us.

I trust you, I love you.

I do not believe I'll find another like you, another like us.

This is my love letter to you.

You can be with someone for years and never know what real love is and fall in love truly and completely after weeks spent with someone who literally redefines what it means to be happy. Love doesn't always fit into a timeframe. Talk about time. Something we are running short of. You know, when two souls fall in love, there is nothing else but the yearning to be close to the other. The presence that is felt through a hand held, a voice heard, or a smile seen. And I want to see you, every second, every hour, every day, every month. Souls do not have calendars or clocks, nor do they understand the notion of time or distance. They only know it feels right to be with one another. This is the reason why you miss someone so much when they are not there.

Being with you has made me realised that love is never perfect. Love is messy, love makes you see things in the other person that no one else does, love makes you look out for your significant other. I’ve always wanted that perfect boyfriend, perfect relationship, perfect love, but you’ve made me understand one can't control everything.

Thank you for teaching me this.

You have me on my knees begging for just a little more time with you, please just stay a bit longer. Stay so I can hold you a little longer because even forever isn’t enough for me to soak in the love you give me. But you also have me having a big smile on my face and keeping all my tears bottled up while wishing you the best for your future and ours too.

Why is it that when you’re away from me I’ve got so much to say to you on my mind, yet when you’re there in front of me I forget what I had to say and just stare at you in awe. Why is it that every time you say goodbye my heart breaks a little not knowing when I’ll see you next? Guess you’ve broken my heart quite a lot of times then.

Why am I in love with you?

This question seems so simple, yet it is one of the most complex questions I have ever gotten. So where do I begin?

I’m in love with the way your eyes sparkle when you talk about something you like, and it’s so rare. I’m in love with the way you’d scrunch your nose as you laugh at your friends’ hysterical yet cringy comment. I’m in love with the way you’d crack stupid jokes at me and I would find you absolutely hilarious and adorable. I’m in love with the way your eyes focus intensely at your phone when you’re booking a cab. I love how you seem like the most popular guy at school but deep down inside you’re a dork. I love the sound of your charming voice when it calls out for my name. I love the way your lips curve themselves into a stupid smile when you see me. I love the way you’d immediately pay extra attention to the conversation when my name is mentioned. I love how you’d never let your friend talk shit about me. I love the way you fidget when I’m near you because I make you nervous. I love the way you’d constantly lock your eyes with mine. I love how your eyes search for mine even when there are hundreds of other eyes around you. I love how oblivious you can be at times, especially when we’re merely a few meters apart and I catch you staring at me from the corner of my eyes. I’m in love with the way you smile at me from the audience when you know I’m singing for you. I love it when you look at me, I love the way you say my name, I love it when you snap ur fingers on my head, call me names. I love the way you hold my waist and kiss me as if you’re about to devour me. I love it when you kiss my forehead, neck, hands every part of my body. There are endless reasons why I am in love with you but that would take me forever to tell you. So for now, I’ll just keep it short and simple and say, the reason why I am in love with you is that you, are you. And that’s why I am in love with you.

Put your trust in the universe, and me too. Some things are just meant to happen, and some are not. Let go of whatever is stealing your happiness, it's hard but it is worth it. I don’t want you to ever feel lonely, because I’ll always be there to hold your hand and kiss it when you want.

You deserve to be chosen undoubtedly over and over again, not merely considered. And I want to have the honour to choose you forever.

Thank you for always being there for me when I need you. Thank you so much for helping me heal, learn how to love again. Thank you for being the reason I started writing again.

Forgive me for every song, every poem, every prose is for you my only, love. For I can’t stop loving you, ever.

I’ve made you my poetry, I’ve made you my muse and I’ve made you mine.

I love love love love love love love you.

#love #love letter #writing #writers on tumblr #love letter.txt #love letter: My true feelings #literature #poets on tumblr #fyp

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antiradqueer · 11 months

Note

Idek like if this fits in this blog I don’t even use tumblr for the community; I use it for images and customization and whatnot but I’m accidentally 2 am doomscrolling and…

The transid stuff is truly baffling to me like it’s so beyond me. I dunno if it’s just a new breed of severe mental illness or if it’s just heaps of attention seeking. Either way from what I’ve seen it’s just plain. Just insane. I’m also confused as to what they even are? Are they trans identities as in genders? Or are they just throwing around the word trans because they’re privileged and just. Can?

Firstly, I am black and trans which comes with day to day struggles. I didn’t wake up and stretch and yawn and go yep I’m gonna be trans. If I had a choice, I wouldn’t be trans. I wouldn’t want to put myself through constant oppression just because of who I am and how I feel about my own body and how I want to present MYself. It’s painful and I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone. So WHY are these people deciding they want to make their lives harder? Fully, consciously deciding that they want to change themselves purposely. Now I’ve always known I was trans but I didn’t always identify as trans because it didn’t feel right or I was scared to be judged. You cannot choose who you are but you can choose how you label yourself (which I’ve seen some crazy harmful stuff but that’s a different story.) So the fact that these people are CHOOSING to identify in ways that harm others and erase the trans community just does not make any sense to me.

Now. On to “transrace.” This has got to be some of the most privileged shit I’ve ever heard of in my life. I could probably guarantee you that a fat majority of these radqueers are white. Let’s say there’s a person who is white, but is deciding they want to say they’re black. Firstly, why??? I understand cultural appreciation but why do you want to change who you are to pretend to be someone else because there’s a “desire”? A desire to what? Be discriminated against no matter what? Not be able to graduate/get a job because of your natural hair? So on and so forth? I just don’t understand. These people are begging to be oppressed. And for what. What do they gain.

I don’t think I’ll ever understand, but I also think I’m fine with that. I don’t partake in discourse and I’m all for ‘to each his own.’ While I am not for people ignoring genuine harm being done (like the paraphiles or whatever they’re called aka groomers??? pedos??? traffickers????) I don’t believe that in the long run, it will affect either side. However. Transid people really do need to stop; especially ones acting on it in their actual.. away from the screen lives. I saw a post about a transid that revolves around intrusive thoughts. I suffer from intense intrusive and impulsive thoughts that often cause me to fall into intense episodes of mood swings, anger, confusion, depression, and more. I would NEVER romanticize these thoughts and make an identity for them. If it’s a coping mechanism, sure do whatever helps. But don’t bring that shit to others. Don’t glorify violent thoughts and mock real identities. It’s sickening.

I digress. Im stepping fully away from social media after tonight, but it was nice to be able to write this out and process how backwards we are evolving. Honestly, I will be fine with completely wiping the idea of transids away from my brain and continuing to lead a normal life.

TLDR:: I’m black and trans and I find radqueers/transids sickening, privileged, and harmful. Just my little tangents and tidbits on this subject that is quite new to me.

Bonus! I saw a genuine radqueer transid identity that was called “transartstyle.” Where one desires to have a different art style.

…

Stay safe out there

absolutely great points, i can never really get into breaking down tranrace like you did so first of all thank you,

i do think that alot of the transid/abled etc. stuff is some kind of new either mental illness or some kinda coping mechanism (or hell maybe it just is privilege and attention seeking), something like biid in a way or maybe something even similar to munchausen syndrome but not exactly it either, still doesnt take the harm those lables do away theres other, less harmful lables out there.

thank you so much for your piece here, and hey, dont let radqueers ruin your time online, especially since you dont do online discourse n all, anyway thank you and stay safe

#anti radqueer #anti transid #anti transabled #anti transrace #anti trace #anti transautistic #anti transill

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house-of-slayterr · 2 years

Text

Texan Meet Cute:

Tag: @vincent-sinclair-deserved-better @myers-meadow-selfship @oceansrose2002

Macy’s POV:

Hoytt was getting on my last fucking nerve today, I swore to myself that one more comment and I’d send his head flying through the wall. Why were the men on my family all such perverted bastards? Monty wasn’t much better, crazy old man. But at least I had Thomas, the one thing that kept me someone sane in this place.

He was a great brother, probably better than I deserved. When our Mother didn’t give me attention, he would make the time for me. And that meant more to me than he’d every probably understand. I stomped down to the basement where he as hard at work. His chainsaw was revving, so I chose to wait by the door as to not startle him. It was almost funny sometimes, how someone like him could be so skittish.

“Need some help with that?” I asked with a smirk on my face.

Thomas turned to look at me, mask still on. He kept it on with victims, even though I told him it didn’t really matter. They were gonna die anyways, who cares if they see his face. “The face only a mother could love” people would say, but I think that’s utter bullshit. So my brother has a few deformities, that doesn’t mean he’s unworthy of love.

He set down his chainsaw and I walked over to admit his work. The poor bloke on the table was missing all 4 limbs but still very much breathing. I could hear his muffled scream through the rag shoved in his mouth. I shot a glare at the victim.

“Please, keep screaming… see how much you like it when I rip out your tongue.”

I was in no mood for this bullshit today. Why did they always have to be so loud? With all the begging and pleading, as if I’d suddenly grow a second heart .

“Upset?” Thomas signed.

I sighed heavily.

“Hoytt.”

I didn’t need to say much else, Thomas understood. I mean Hoytt wasn’t even nice to him either. Luda was the only one who could shut that man up. And I thanked my lucky stars that she put him in his place often.

“Walk? Feel better.”

“I’m not sure if I’m up for a walk today Tommy. Besides you’ve got a lot of work cut out for you by the looks of it. Don’t want that meat rotting and going bad.”

He gave me a sad nod.

“You need to have fun, I’ll finish your chores.”

“No, Thomas you don’t have to do that. It’s fine.”

But he wouldn’t budge. Both literally and metaphorically. He wouldn’t let me leave his basement until I promised to go do something fun.

“Maybe I’ll go for a drive, see where it lands me before I run out of gas.”

He gave me a look as if to ask ‘is that a good idea?’ But I couldn’t think of anything better to do.

“I’ll be fine Thomas, maybe a few days out of town will do me good. I mean what’s Lud- mom, going to do? Hold down the house while I’m gone? Hoytt May thinks he runs shit around here, but you’re the man of the house Tommy.”

I gave my brother a kiss on the cheek of his mask. I wasn’t usually one for affection, but I couldn’t help it when it came to Thomas. He was just so kind and sweet, something you wouldn’t expect from this family. A bunch of redneck hillbillies with murderous, cannibalistic tendencies. Yet here we had this gentle giant. A man the world is lucky isn’t filled with rage like I was. Thomas killed to follow orders, to protect his family and keep us well fed.

But I killed for a much different reason. The thrill, the adrenaline rush. A dangerous game of cat and mouse that could go on as long as I say so. Running a victim out of steam for days until they’re basically begged me to kill them. Making them submit to my every will. It was an intoxicating feeling that got you high.

“See you around Tommy, yeah?”

He gave me a sad look.

“It’s only a few days, you’ll be fine.” I assured him.

If I came home to find Hoytt or Monty upset him again, those men would have hell to pay. My loyalties stood with my brother and my brother alone. I wouldn’t bat an eye if someone splattered the others brains onto the pavement. Of course, Thomas would be upset, which is the only reason I haven’t done it myself yet. I was sick and tried of them trying to order me around. I helped plenary around here, yet it was never enough.

I packed a small backpack with some cash I’d saved, and a few spare clothes. I hoped onto the back of my Harley, one’s I’d rescued from the junk yard and repaired, and headed off in a random direction. Just driving and clearing my head until I found a town that piqued my interest. Ruggsville Texas. It was only on my radar because people had been reporting a higher amount of disappearances recently. And I was sure this town was harbouring secrets.

I stopped at a little motel on the side of the road, not wasting my time with pleasantries and instead choosing to pick a lock and break into one of the many vacant rooms. If I kept the shades drawn, the likely wouldn’t even notice me here. The door was wide enough for me to walk my motorcycle inside, as to leave no trace to my existence. Even if someone did discover me, I could always kill then and flee back home. I wasn’t completely opposed to that idea.

I locked the door and threw myself down on the king sized bed. It was still a bit small, but you got used to it. I felt bad for people who were even taller than I am. I didn’t even bother to change into night clothes, instead choosing to just kick off my pants and go to bed.

The sun was overly obnoxious in the morning, shining through the slight gap in the curtain. I groaned, hurling myself up from the end and going to the shower. I nearly laughed to myself when I say how short the shower head was. Thomas and I had built the shower in our home so that we could actually properly use it. We also put a pool noodle on the frame going downstairs to the basement, Thomas kept hitting his head on it.

I left my hair down, letting it dry in its natural state. There was a slight wave to it, not quite curly but not totally flat. At least I got Luda’s hair gene instead of my fathers. Thomas was blessed with good hair too. I decided I would drive into the main part of town today. As I drove around, I spotted a little blocked off street. Some sort of vending festival. It could be cool, I could get something nice for Tommy on my trip. A silent apology for leaving him alone at home. I parked my bike, hiding it in the alleyway and started walking around.

There were a few food stalls, some art exhibits and random assortments of knickknacks. This town seems kinda homey which was a nice change of pace. It was still brutally hot in the Texas summers. I wore black mom jeans and a tight black tank top. I had a hair tie on my wrist in case I got fed up, or it got too warm. One stall in particular caught my eye. They had a bundle of balloons tied to a little chair.

But that wasn’t what really caught my eye, no, it was the person on that chair. Even from this far away, I could tell it wasn’t just perspective making them look small. What the hell was someone like that doing out here alone? Their hair was huge and fluffy, it wasn’t often you saw black people down south wearing their natural hair. I didn’t know a lot about black culture, but all the ladies are Luda’s church either straightens their hair, or wore wigs. Their Afro was sort of adorable, like an unapologetic way to say ‘fuck you’ to societal beauty standards.

I hadn’t realised I was staring, until their eyes met mine from across the lot. And I swore my heart almost stopped. Now that I could see their face, they were genuinely adorable. They had some sort of face paint on, reminiscent of a clown. They gave me a quick smile, before going back to mining their table. I didn’t want to be too obvious, so I pretended to look at other things as I drew closer. Curiosity getting the best of me.

I could see their outfit more clearly now. It was similar to those old fashioned Circus costumes. With a Black and White almost Harlequin pattern. They had on combat boots with mismatched shoelaces on them. Their skin glowed under the hot Texas sun, a thin sheen of sweat on their brow. A man in a similar costume and makeup up walked up to the both, whispering something to them before leaving. I watched as he walked away, driving off in a truck. Odd.

But their interaction started to make sense when I saw them start packing up the tiny booth. They seemed to be selling food, I could smell it even from here. And honestly it was mouth watering. So I finally got up the nerve to approach them. They looked up from packing when they noticed me. I watched as their Addams apple bobbed slightly. They were nervous, but I was used to getting that sort of reaction.

“I know you’re packing, but I was wondering what you were selling.” I asked.

They just stared at me for a money, their eyes wide and glossy, like they forgot how to talk. I was about to just walk away, worried I scared them too much, when they finally spoke.

“Umm, yeah. My Gruncle and I were selling some of his famous fried chicken. Needed a bit of extra cash since people don’t stop by our store often. But rich white people love coming to these sort of things.” They rambles.

It was cute, watching them stutter and stumble over their words as they tried not to look at me.

“What’s a Gruncle?” I laughed.

I didn’t mean to laugh at them, but it was such an odd word.

“Grandpa-Uncle. Cause we call grandpa, Grandpa, but he’s my Great Grandpa and I don’t want to get them confused.”

I couldn’t help but smile at that. God, I haven’t smiled in so long. I was worried my face was fixed in a permanent scowl. Only time I smiled like that was when Tommy and I got a day off and could hang out in the old abandoned apple orchard.

“I guess that makes sense, got any left?”

They pushed the aluminium tray forward.

“Take it, it’s on the house. Can’t stand being near the stuff anyway.”

Odd, why would they sell it if they hated it. The packed the rest of the stuff into a little milk crate. But it looked huge in their tiny hands.

“Are you sure? I have cash.” I said.

The shook there head.

“It was just gonna go in the trash anyway.”

“Macy.” I offered, reaching out my hand.

They just stared at it for a while, before meeting my gaze again.

“Blinky.”

I dropped my hand when they didn’t attempt to shake it. Blinky, what an odd name. Perhaps it was a nickname of sorts. They seemed to think for a second, pausing with their back turned to me, before turning back around.

“Hey, I don’t know if you’re from around here or not. But steer clear of Captain Spaulding’s Museum of Monsters and Madmen.” They warned.

That was their first mistake, because now I was curious. I stood by the booth awkwardly as they walked over to a bicycle and strapped the milk crate to the front of it. We’re they about to ride around in this heat, wearing that? My stomach growled as the smell of chicken was becoming overwhelming. It made me wish I was at home to eat Tommy’s cooking. But I couldn’t eta right now, not in-front of them. I was a completely different person when I was hungry.

I looked back up as I heard them walking towards me again, and lunged forward when I saw them stumble over their own feet. I caught them easily with one hand.

“Woah there!” I said, stabilising them.

Sure, she was already on her feet, but I didn’t want to let go of them just yet. And it seemed she didn’t mind either.

“Th-thanks.” They blushed furiously.

“Are you ok? You just tripped over nothing.” I laughed.

It wasn’t meant to come out so harsh, my intent was more teasing. They pushed themself out of my arms, crossing their arms over their chest and huffing. It was entirely adorable. God what was she doing to me?

“I’m fine, I got it stranger!” The snapped at me.

I was pleasantly surprised they had that much bite in them.

“I didn’t mean to-“

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. That wasn’t nice of me, I’m just tired of everyone treating me like I’m a a child.”

“Are you not?” I laughed.

Surely they must be.

“I’m 18!” They said exasperated.

My brain began to short circuit. My intentions were much more pure when I first decided to approach them. Curious what a child was doing out here. I was shocked to find they were only three years younger than me. God she was adorable, I doubt if I left now I’d even be able to forget this little encounter.

“I’m sorry.”

I doesn’t know why I said it. I had nothing to apologise for, and even if I did, I wouldn’t do it. Apologising meant admiring guilt, and that was an emotion I was incapable of feeling.

“Let me help you with that!” I quickly added.

I was used to being useful. Thomas and I basically splitting the house hold chores 50/50. Monty couldn’t do much, and Hoytt was out on petroleum or down at the station most days. I easily picked up the table, folding the legs in and hoisting it over my head. They stared up at me in awe, a reaction I was hoping for. Hoytt would make fun of me if he saw me now, helping a gentle stranger and trying to impress them.

“Where to?” I asked.

“Ummm-“

They seemed to be panicking now. Maybe I had over stepped.

“Gas station, a little ways down the road. It’s kinda a long walk.”

The grabbed their bike, walking it along side me as we made our way down the road. Most of the walk was in a comfortable silence. I wasn’t really sure what to say. But I enjoyed their company more than I thought I would. I noticed her stealing little glances at me, and smirked. They brought me around back the building.

“Here, you can just drop it here. My Gruncle will take care of it later. Umm, I don’t have any extra cash to pay you.” She said.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Are you sure? I could go run inside and grab you a soda or something.”

I was quite thirsty. But I had a better idea.

“I’m not much of a soda drinker. Maybe we could get a coffee.” I asked.

I’d grown quite good at flirting. It was an easy way to lure in vapid teenage boys for the kill. But I had to use a different strategy here, my flirting was sincere in this moment. They intrigued me to say the least. I was surprised when they quickly agreed, but they just seemed anxious to get as far way from the gas station as possible.

I followed after them, surprised by how fast they were with their legs being that short. My brain thought of what it would be like to chase them, but I quickly shoved that thought to the back of my head. She did nothing to be deserving of that side of me.

“There’s no coffee in town, did you drive her?” They asked.

I nodded.

“Yeah, we could take my motorcycle.”

Perhaps it was a little naive of them to go to a second location with me. But I found it endearing, when normally I’d find it annoying. I’ve barely even had a full conversion with this girl and they were already changing my whole mood. I’d long forgotten about the nasty comments Hoytt has spewed at me. I was pissed at him for murdering my last girlfriend, and feeding her to me without my knowledge. Something about “repenting in the eyes of god.” Maybe I hadn’t loved her, but she was a good lay. She always knew how to calm me down.

“You drive a motorbike? That’s so cool!” They beamed.

There was no sarcasm laced in their tone, they seemed genuinely impressed by this fact. I mean if that’s all it took to get them excited, then this would be easy.

“So, what’s with the clown thing?” I cringed at myself, quickly correcting my mistake, “it’s fun.” I added.

“You think so? I’ve always sort of admired clowns. They say laughter is the best medicine and I couldn’t agree more. I love laughing.”

Every sentence had me fighting with myself internally to not just throw them over my shoulder right now. My heart was beating faster and my skin was itching. But that wasn’t right or me, I couldn’t rush this. No I wanted to saver my time away in this quaint little town. And it seems Blinky was the only one worth while in this shit hole. If I ruined that now, I’d kick myself.

“You got any jokes?”

They shook their head no.

“I’m not very good at telling them RJ says. Do you have any?”

I’m went sure who this RJ was, but I already didn’t like them. I thought for a moment, trying to see if I remembered any jokes. We’re we’re nearly halfway back to wear I parked my bike now. Was I seriously considering trying to make a joke just to get an inkling of their laugh? This is not how I expected this trip to go at all. My plan was to stroll into town, kill a few locals no one would miss and then go back home.

But did that place ever really feel like home? Sure I lived there, but I hated it. I hated that house, hated my family. Thomas and I could go anywhere and I’d be home. He was just to chicken to leave, get rid of that old bat who for some ungodly reason he shared affections for. They would be nowhere without the two of us doing everything for them. And all they showed me in return was trying to send to to conversion camp when I was a teen. Fuckers. Suddenly I felt a hand on my arm, it was dainty and delicate.

“Hey you ok? You don’t have to tell me a joke if you don’t want to. Being funny isn’t easy.” They attempted to console me.

“Yeah, no I’m good. Just got lost in thought I guess. Ok, so how about this: I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.” I tried.

Sure my delivery wasn’t perfect, but I couldn’t help it. They somehow simultaneously made more more confident, yet nervous at the same time. The slowly dropped their hand from my arm and I had to stop myself from whining at the lack of touch. Why was I so god damn horny right now? It had been months since I’d been this psychically close to someone .

She placed a hand over her mouth and let out a small stifled giggle. It was possibly the cutest fucking sound I’d ever heard in my entire life, and I was desperate to hear it again.

“Same, except my dad used the ladder to leave.” They laughed.

It took me a second to understand their joke. I could see how someone could think they aren’t funny, their jokes seem to just require a little bit of thought.

“Oh my god.” I laughed, but I quickly sobered up as we continued walking, “was that just for the joke or…” I was bit concerned with how flatly they said it.

They shook their head no again. It made their curls bounce wildly.

“I was the one who found him. But don’t worry, it’s funny, you can laugh. I don’t blame him, I’d do the same if I had to be married to my mother.”

“Still, that’s a coward move. I can’t imagine someone finding any justification to leave you.” I said smoothly.

They bit at their bottom lip, almost hard enough to draw blood.

“Ok, umm my turn. So this woman goes to the hospital right? And she says ‘sorry I’m just nervous, this is my first surgery’ and the doctor looks her dead in the eyes and says ‘mine too.’”

They way they smiled up at me like they were so proud made my stomach flip.

“That’s awful” I laughed.

“I have one more,” I started, we were almost to the alley now, A child determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, “That’s arson.”

“Arson?” They scrunched their brow in confusion, “oh, our son, arson! I get it now! You’re so funny!” They complemented.

“I wouldn’t go that far, you’re just easy to impress.”

Another sentence I hadn’t meant to turn into an insult. I wasn’t very good at this whole “being nice” thing.

“Well, this is me.” I said pointing to my bike.

I had put the small container of chicken in my backpack earlier. I strapped my bag down to the side of my bike.

“Wow!” They said, their voice somehow raising during a single syllable.

“You like? Built her myself.”

“You built this?”

“Mhhmm” I hummed proudly.

“You’re amazing!” They said softly under their breath.

“Hop on, I got a spare helmet.”

They hesitated, maybe they finally realised this wasn’t a good idea. I mean I was going to hurt her, but she didn’t know that. They started fidgeting with their hands and I frowned.

“Getting cold feet?” I asked.

I couldn’t help but be smug, I’m an asshole by nature. It just helped to mask my concern.

“Ummm, no, I really want to go get coffee it just” they pointed to their hair.

“I don’t think this will fit in a helmet.”

I couldn’t help the cackle that escaped me. That’s what they were worried about? Their hair? Not that fact that I could snap their neck with one hand without even trying. Or I could be taking her somewhere to kill her.

“How about this, you ride front and I’ll be sure to hold you right and keep you safely on the bike.”

“Ok!”

I watched as they struggled to try and get on, my bike had larger wheels so it was higher off the ground. It make it easier for me to ride. I stifled a chuckle in the back of my throat,

“Let me.” I said, picking them up and placing her on my bike.

I had to admit, this sight wasn’t exactly helping with my cloudy thoughts. I did my best to keep them pure, but I wasn’t fooling anyone. I was a Hewitt by blood, we don’t exactly pair well with purity. I straddled my leg over the side, scooting closer to them. I warped my arms around them reaching for the handles, and used my leg to pop up the kickstand.

“Just hold on right to the Center piece ok? What direction are we going?”

“It’s about fifteen miles north, first left on after the exit. You can’t miss it.”

I revved the engine and I could feel them tense a little.

“Relax little rabbit, this will be fun.” I cooed.

When I felt them lean back into me, I sped off down the road. I could hear the sounds of their joyous laughter over the sound of the wind and my engine. When we finally came to a stop outside of a little dinner, they were still giggling happily.

“I’ve never gone that fast before.” They laughed.

“We can go even faster on the way back. Not like there’s any pigs out here to stop us.”

“Pigs?” They asked curiously, trying their best to turn to look at me.

Even sitting down I was so much taller than her.

“Cops, it’s a little inside joke with me and my family. Ain’t much law in my town either, but when they do come around they’re always in our business.”

“We’ll that doesn’t seem fair.” They frowned.

I hoped off the bike, putting the kickstand down. Then reached out my hand to help them off.

“Greta behind the counter is super sweet, she lets me drink coffee for free since I fixed her back door. Her ex tried to break into her house and nobody from town would help her.” They explained to me.

I never pegged her as someone who was good with tools. I was sort of impressed.

“That was nice of you.”

“My sister always says we girls have to protect our own.”

“You have a sister?” I asked as we stepped through the door.

“Two now, Manon is still… adjusting.”

I could tell it was a sensitive subject so I didn’t push further. But what did they mean by “now” and “adjusting”, perhaps her parents fostered kids? But if it was that simple, why wouldn’t they just say that. The man from earlier looked nothing like her, so it wouldn’t be an unfair assumption to make that they were adopted.

“Blinky! How’s my favourite little trouble maker?” The woman who was supposedly Greta greeted.

She was a short and pudgy black lady, her hair graying. But she seemed nice, Blinky seemed to like them. But I wasn’t sure if that meant much, I mean Blinky seemed to trust me, when they had no reason too. Which concerned me, was she this trusting with every stranger? I mean we were about a half an hour drive away from wherever she must live, and she didn’t seem anxious in the slightest.

“Who’s this?” Greta’s voice brought me out of my head.

“Oh, this is my new friend Macy! She’s visting from out out town. We were wondering if we could get some coffee” Blinky leaned over the counter in a hushed tone and said “and the good stuff.”

Before looking back at me and smiling, I raised a brow amused.

“I do believe I can do that for you little miss. Your booth is empty.”

“Yay, you’re the best G!”

She grabbed my hand and dragged me to a booth in the farthest corner of the little dinner. There was less lighting over there.

“What’s the good stuff?” I asked

“Pastries they have to throw out at the end of the day. Greta sometimes sneaks me some. Oh, you should probably eat your chicken, it might be a little cold by now, but I don’t know if the place you’re staying has a fridge or not.”

How thoughtful.

“Are we allowed outside food?” I asked.

They giggled once again.

“You don’t really seem the type to care about rules.” They said bluntly.

And I couldn’t argue with that. I slid the container out of my backpack and pushed it onto the table. They seemed really fidgety but I couldn’t tell if it was a nervous thing, or if they were just like that. I don’t know why, but I felt compelled to ask them. I always hated when Thomas would get anxious. He’d start picking at the skin around his finger nails until there was nothing left.

“Are you good?” I asked.

Cursing myself once again for coming off so harsh and abrasive.

“Yeah, why? Is something wrong?” They asked.

“You just seem, antsy is all.”

“Oh, sorry. It’s just, there’s a few more people in here tonight than there usually are. This place is pretty dead most of the time.”

So they were nervous in crowds, interesting.

“I guess that makes sense, you seem to like it here.”

“Well I’m not allowed in town by myself very often.”

That made sense, they were tiny, anyone could just pick her up and steal her away if they wanted to.

Greta set down two mugs, and a plate that looked like raspberry danishes.

“Enjoy you two.” She smiled.

“That’s Greta, I owe you one.”

The older woman brushed her off with a kind smile. Blinky happily sipped their black coffee, and I was surprised. I expected them to at least put sugar in it.

“Did you need some cream or something?” They asked.

“What? No, no this is fine.” I said.

God, I really had to stop zoning out staring at them. But I couldn’t help it, they were just so damn adorable. I kept thinking that Thomas would love them. But they’re probably be scared of him, as most people were. I took a sip of coffee, letting it warm my insides, before my eyes wandered to the box of chicken. I was starving. I quickly ripped it open and began eating, not really noticing how I was practically scarfing it down. It was surpassingly really good. I only noticed I finished have the box when I looked up to find her staring. I feel a little embarrassed.

She silently help out a napkin for me.

“Thanks.” I said.

“So what do you think? Of the chicken” they clarified.

“It’s good, you said your uncle made it?”

“Gruncle.” They corrected.

“Right, Gruncle.” I laughed.

“Yeah, he’s surprisingly a good cook. He had a laughing fit when I told him I was vegetarian.”

“Oh?”

“He thought I was joking. I was not.”

They seemed to not pick up very well on subtle teasing, so I decided to slow down on that front. Not sure if they’d ever take offence to one of my jokes.

“So do you just not like meat, or are you one of those hardcore veggie people?”

“I just don’t like the taste much. Plus I couldn’t imagine killing a sweet little cow. I mean have you seen the one with little curly hair? I cry every time. My rule is if I wouldn’t kill it, I don’t eat it.”

‘Wouldn’t eat anything they wouldn’t kill’ that was an interesting choice. I couldn’t stop my brain from corrupting that thought, wondering what would happen if I pushed them to try my families diet.

“I know that look” they said.

“Huh?”

“You’re thinking something bad… what is it?” They asked.

Their words seemed idly curious, but their tone told me otherwise. That wasn’t a question, it was a demand. Something I didn’t expect. It was interesting how they could so easily go from puppy dog eyes and smiles, to a commanding sort of ominous tone.

“Nothing you need to concern yourself with. It’s stupid.” I said.

“Really, cause that smile on your face said otherwise. You enjoyed that thought.” They pushed.

“Perhaps I don’t want to throw out all my aces on a first date.” I turned the conversation back on her.

Two could play this game. And oh what a dangerous one it was. They had no idea what they were getting into with me.

“So this is a date then?”

“One were neither of us are paying, so I’d say it’s the best one I’ve ever had.” I joked.

They laughed, dropping their icy stare. Letting their guard fall again.

“Date. I think I like the sound of that.” They concluded happily, tearing a piece off the pastry and shoving it into their mouth. “Not as much as you like that chicken though.”

“Leave me alone, I’m hungry.” I grumbled.

They pushed the rest of the pasty toward me. A silent offering. I gladly took it with a smile.

“Wait here!” She said suddenly.

I watched as they leapt up from the table and snuck their way past a waitress and into the kitchen. What the hell was she doing. A few minuets later they snuck back out of the kitchen with a plate piled with food.

“Hope you don’t mind your food touching. I had to be quick so no one saw me.”

This girl really just stole food for me. I think I’m in love. I felt like a silly little teenager again. If Hoyt could see me right now, he’d never let me live this down. And Tommy would be swooning with me. He had liked my previous girlfriend, before the incident.

“I don’t mind a bit” I grinned.

It seemed she didn’t care that I wasn’t proper with my food. I wasn’t a slob, by any means, but was it a sin to enjoy good food? People like my brother and I had to eat a lot. I always felt sluggish and crappy when I had to wait a while for food. They must have noticed my hesitation because they spoke again.

“It’s ok, I like watching you eat.”

It was almost comical how wide their eyes got after that, and I couldn’t bite back my laugh.

“Not in a weird way or anything, you just seem to be enjoying yourself. It’s nice.” They quickly added.

“I am.”

“Good. Now eat up before it gets cold. I have to sneak the empty plate to the dishwasher. I don’t want Greta to get in trouble for the missing food.”

The rest of the meal was mostly in silence. I swore they must have had about seven cups off coffee. How were they not crawling out of their skin right now. I distracted the cook by flirting so they could slip back in through the door undetected, then they met me out back by the dumpster.

“You’re really good at that.” I commented.

“Perks of being fun sized I guess.”

Could they possibly be more cute? I mean the clown costume was adorable, but I wondered what they looked like normally.

“Hey Blinky?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you always dress like this?”

“Oh, this? Ummm kinda. I mean I wanted to be extra fancy today to make a good impression at the farmers market. But sometimes I’m more causal I guess.”

Normally when people thought of ‘fancy’ it was cocktail dress and pearls or suits.

“Why, does it look bad? I guess I could have been a little neater on the seems, but my sewing machine is ancient and doesn’t like to cooperate very much.”

“You made this?”

“Uh huh! I based it off of one of Mama’s vintage soap operas. The main character was more of a mime, but I don’t know how to make a Barrett yet so I just simplified it to be like a vintage clown.”

“You’re adorable you know that?”

I could practically see the blood rush to their cheeks. As they furiously tried to rub it away, only serving to make them cuter in my eyes. They were embarrassed.

“Would you like me to drive you home?”

“No, you can’t go to the house.” They exclaimed quickly.

I suppose that made sense, we’re still didn’t know ecagitehr very well. It’s not smart to give people your address.

“Not that that wouldn’t be nice, thank you for offering. But my families very… private. Umm but you could drop me off down the road and I’ll walk the rest of the way.”

“Alright.”

I could tell they were hiding something, and my mind raced with a million reasons why. I settled on perhaps their family was homophobic. I mean we’re we’re in Texas, that wasn’t uncommon. Even my own family was pretty bad about it, all expect Tommy. He was the glue that held us together, and the only thing keeping me from leaving. I drove to the spot they asked me to drop them off. Driving faster on the way back as I had promised.

“I wish I could go that fast on my regular bike.” They said.

I chuckled. They turned to look at me, but their eyes looked sad.

“I gotta go before my Dad comes out looking for me. I didn’t tell anyone I was gonna be out so they’re probably really mad.”

I frowned.

“I didn’t mean to-“

“No, no it’s not your fault. I wanted to go. This- this was fun. Perhaps if you’re staying in town a few days…”

“I would love to hang out with you again.” I calmed their nerves.

“I usually finish my chores before 5pm. Meet me back here tomorrow?”

“Sure.”

They started to walk away but I stoped them.

“Hey Blinky?”

“Yeah?”

I held out one of my switch blades for them.

“Maybe if we’re going to continue meeting in dark alleys, you should have something to protect yourself with.”

The took the knife slowly, examining it.

“I can’t take this, it’s yours. And it looks expensive.” They frowned.

“I insist. Wouldn’t want to find my date bleeding out in an alley somewhere.” I joked.

“Yeah, I guess that would kinda ruin things wouldn’t it? I’ll see you around Macy. Thank you, for today I mean. It was perfect.”

I did a fake bow before watching them disappear into the dark. I wouldn’t be getting much sleep tonight, far too excited about this new development to sleep. But I was itching for a taste of something more. I’m sure I could find some sorry sap out here to kill tonight. Stop me from running after Blinky and scaring them off.

Blinky’s POV:

I waited until I was out of sight and I heard her bike drive off into the distance, before I let out a little happy dance. Sure, I’d had crushes before, little in content ones. But they always seemed to disappear. I wasn’t stupid, I knew what happened to them. That’s why I would have to keep Macy a secret. Keep her far, far away from my family.

I mean she looked like she could handle a fight. But I didn’t want my family getting hurt either. I sighed in frustration. She was different from anyone who ever came to this town. She was tall, beautifully handsome, funny, smart. And she gave me her knife. But little did she know how perfect a gift it was. I got sad when I thought about long term. It inevitably wouldn’t work out and one or both of us would end up with our hearts broken.

But tonight was so freeing. And I didn’t want that to end. Maybe it was selfish of me, but these next few days I would remember and cherish forever. Even if she went back home where it was safe, and never talked to me again. I slowly pulled open the front door.

“And where the fuck have you been?” Otis’ booming voice called.

“A walk.” I said nervously.

“A walk, really, in the dark?”

“Mmmhmm, bought a new knife.” I said, showing off the gift as a makeshift alibi.

He squinted his eyes at me, but seemed to be satisfied with my response.

“Just tell someone where you’re going next time Yeah? Spaulding got back from the gas station and you were nowhere to be found.”

“Awww, we’re you worried?” I teased.

He scoffed, turning his back and walking away.

“Goodnight Blinky, and I mean that. Go the fuck to bed, we’ve got a busy day ahead of us.”

“Yes dad.”

An: A reminder that Blinky uses both She and They which is why it switches so much. I tried to make it seem as natural as possible.

#Macy love-Hewitt #Macy Hewitt #thomas hewitt #leather face #texas chainsaw massacre #Texas chainsaw au #house of 1000 corpses au #blinky firefly #Blinky #cannibalism #cannibal oc #new oc

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lucifersgoodboyinheaven · 2 months

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you ever get jealous?

But like- as if your in a relationship, but your not and you never will be bc your aromantic. But like- your friends will give attention to someone or idk have their thing they do with your other friends specifically, just like you and them have those same kinda things and it’s special and sweet.

But sometimes you see that special thing they have with someone else and it feels like a stab in the heart…

Like…why don’t we do that? How do they know so much more and seem so much closer to you, even though i’ve known you longer?

It hits even harder when they do those things with their friends that aren’t mutual friends between you two…

it’s hard to explain and it feels stupid to feel it, but I feel it so fucking hard…it hurts, I don’t like it, I don’t know why I get so jealous and hurt when I shouldn’t because we’re not dating and we don’t talk much one on one…

I just…I think it may be more envy of the other persons closeness with my friend(s) more than it is jealousy, but either way it hurts and I hate the feeling…

It’s worse when the one you’re envying…is also a friend…and you start to feel a sort of…resentment towards them, and you hate that just as much, because you love that friend more than anything and in all reality you’ve known that friend longer than you’ve known the others…but…it’s hard when it feels like, that friend somehow always one ups you (even though it’s not a competition) and somehow is always doing better things than you and you love that for them, because their your friend and it’s not a competition and you love them so so so fucking much…

But…they told you, they wouldn’t be doing what they’re doing if it wasn’t for you, that you gave them the inspiration…it makes you feel special and happy and loved…and then…you take a small little comparison…and somehow, someway…your on the bottom eating scraps to survive and they’re in their castle eating lavishly like a king, servants around them and a fucking horde of maidens and men waiting on their every need like dogs hungry for their next scraps and they give them those scraps and more…

And yet, i’m at the bottom of a lake…it seems no one has come to look for me, or really even noticed i’m not at the table with the other servant boys…the king hasn’t come looking, he calls for me once in a while, when he needs a good fuck or maybe even just to vent about all his kingly problems…and like the court jester I am…I sit like a fool and listen, take what I can get and then disappear back to the bottom of the lake when he’s done with me…

…I had thought the maiden and men would have came looking for me…maybe just to see how easy it is for me to somehow live underwater and yet…not drown..

but i am drowning…just…just very very very fucking slowly, but it seems it’s starting to affect me, just the tiniest bit I am starting to realize there isn’t air for me to breathe down here…and it’s scary and i’m freaking out now…and foolishly wasting my precious breath…

I’m drowning much faster, than I initially anticipated… I didn’t think it would hurt this bad…

It’s weird when someone can say one thing…not even to you, and suddenly it’s like they’ve stuck a knife in your chest and keep twisting and twisting and twisting

and you have to sit in a room full of other people begging yourself not to cry because you shouldn’t be hurt over something so small and simple…something you thought you used to have, but it’s clear now you didn’t have anything at all…it was all a big solution and your the court jester playing along to the kings wishes and making a fool out of yourself for the benefit of your friends happiness

tell no one, say nothing, it’ll go away soon

keep laughing, keep smiling, the king and his maiden and men need some entertainment

Leave…they won’t realize it anyway, you were never that important you poor poor unfortunate fool

Your cute, Your sweet, Your adorable, I love you, I’ll always be here if you need me, You’re my favorite person, I like you a lot…. all things said to the court jester, because everyone knows he’s a fool and he’ll believe ever single word you spew

….How does the king become a king?…

OH! I know!

The court jester puts him on a pedestal and makes him a crown and all the towns people look on in awe….and suddenly the court jester is pushed to the side as the towns people build a castle and a throne and place the king on his throne…

and the court jester, what becomes of him?

Him? ah! he’ll be just fine *the king laughs*

He’ll be fine…the towns peoples favorite joke is stabbing him! he wouldn’t cry though, he’s a big, tough, strong man…he’ll just drown in the beautiful lake the towns people made for the king…

oh how wonderful! that’s your best joke yet, jester!

ah, ah, ah! I’m not done, quite yet!

The best part is, every time the jester visits the castle he’ll stop and stare at all the signs that the kings maiden and men have made him….and then he’ll return to his own home after playing the role of the court jester all day, and see only one sign…the one he made for himself…oh! there is one other sign, the jester cherishes that sign…. yet he wishes for more, yet he stays quiet because he doesn’t want his friends to do it simply because they feel bad, or feel they need to…he wants it done out of a want to, not because they read his journal and felt bad, about favoring the king over him…

wow! that made it so much better! you really are some fool, jester!

…that’s it for today, you may return to your home, your services are of no need anymore…

#goodboy.txt

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lostmyjets · 4 months

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I often find myself reflecting on the past. I have always struggled with holding on to things— people, places, memories. Whether it be too much or not enough, I fail to find a good balance.

I always tell people I wouldn’t take back my experiences because they have made me stronger, but I admit it’s a front. I admit that I’m damaged. Not beyond repair but it’s difficult for me to find the strength within to surpass it all.

I admit that I’m insecure. I never feel like I’m enough no matter what anyone says. I’m a people pleaser. I want you to think I don’t care what anyone thinks, but I care more than most; more than I should. I try to satisfy people because maybe if I’m exactly what they want me to be I’ll somehow be enough for myself.

I admit that I’m not a good friend. I have so much love in my heart but I struggle with reaching out. I resent myself for not being able to show up more for the people I care about. I often fear being left behind. On the other hand, I know there are so many people I’ve had love for that I simply never spoke to again. We never actually catch up when we say we will.

I admit that I’ve hurt people. I never wanted to but my actions can sometimes be selfish. I think I spent so much of my life not giving a fuck about being alive that I programmed myself to shut down, to shut out, even when I don’t really want to.

Every once in a blue moon I read the news articles from my abuser’s arrest over 10 years ago. I came upon a news article I didn’t recall seeing before and began obsessively digging for a specific press release and court documents to no avail. I hid it from my boyfriend while he laid next to me because I didn’t know how I would explain why I had to find it so badly— I don’t know why.

I still can’t bring myself to reconnect with anyone on that side of my family. My grandma misses me and I miss her but it’s so fucking complicated. Everyone else stopped trying to reach out a long time ago.

My biological mom makes me feel like the most evil person on the planet— rejecting a sick mother begging for my love. But she rejected a sick child literally screaming out for help, begging to be heard. I can’t find it within myself to forgive her excuses for being a bad mother. She’s dying and it haunts me that we may never reconnect again.

I remember being jealous of kids with visual illness. I was rotting from the inside and nobody could see me— I craved the love and attention and affection I watched those kids receive. I actually thought “maybe if I have cancer people will give a fuck about me.” I think I still have some of that mindset engrained in me.

I’ve spent the past year trying to heal from a relationship that put me back in a place I hadn’t been in a long time. I spent the better part of a year trying to prove to myself that this specific man could love me. I tried to find my worth in him. Instead he broke me and before too long I was completely emotionally unstable. I cried more often than not. I was miserable and I believe he wanted me to be. He felt that I deserved it. I know he still believes that I cheated on him and lied about being raped and that pisses me off.

I tried to take my own life and when that didn’t work I numbed myself with drugs so much that I put a dime-sized hole in my septum. That hole in my nose is a daily reminder of everything I went through and I fucking hate it.

I haven’t been the best at relationships since being with him. I dated someone who was almost too good to me because it was such a polar opposite from what I had just been through. He was a great guy but I began seeing my childhood abuser in his face. I told myself to look past it and shoved it all down and stayed with him. One night he was waiting for me to come home from the bar and I went home with someone else. I cheated on him and that was really fucked up of me. I own up to that.

I’m with someone I love so much now but I’m petrified of the ball that always seems to drop.

Life is fucking hard man. I get stuck a lot. I dwell. I can’t let some things go and let other things fall away too easily.

I just needed to dump my thoughts somewhere. Here’s a peek into my brain if you care.

#spilled thoughts #thought dump #trauma

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matchablossomwrites · 3 years

Note

Hi, I really like your writing!! Can I request Mikey and Izana (u can add more if u want to) react to them hitting their s/o during an argument and how would they apologize ? Angst with comfort, also gn!reader pls (im craving for angst and fluff rn :DD) U don’t need to if u don’t want to write it ofc :)) I respect ure decision ^^ thanks for ure time ❤️

Hey hey hey! Thank you so much for this request! I had a ton of fun writing it ^^ I hope it's up to par with your expectations. I'm so sorry it took this long. I've had an incredibly busy week with my new job and college, but I did my best! I hope you have a wonderful day/night.

Sano 'Mikey' Manjiro

"y/n I don't want to see you right now. Just leave before you regret staying here any longer" he warned "Leave" The air grew more and more icy with each word that came out of his mouth.

You just wanted to check up on him. He'd been so distant lately and this is how he thanks you? You were so worried. Anger boiled up inside of you as you stared at the man in front of you.

His expression was blank. He was going to snap soon. patience was wearing thin for both parties. He didn't exactly have a good day. Things went terribly wrong today and Baji Keisuke had died a few months prior and he was cycling through the stages of grief. The last thing he needed was for you to show up out of the blue like this and confront him now

But it's not like you knew this. You knew Baji had died and you were still easing through grief yourself. God you missed him, but you were coming to terms with the fact that there was no way to turn back time and save him. Mikey was still coping with this. They were best friends. of course this was something that would affect him way more than it would affect you.

"Huh? Are you really telling me this? Mikey I've been so worried about you and this is the thanks I get? I came here to check up on you and even took the day off to spend it with you. I could've been spending my time in so many other ways but I came to check up on you because I care about you!" you yelled you were angry to the point of yelling. Things were getting more and more tense.

Anger boiled inside of him. it was becoming unbearable. "And guess what? I don't care. I don't care that you took all this time off for me. Absolutely no one asked you to be a tragic hero and try to fix me. I don't need fixing. So, I'll say this one more time because apparently you don't know how to take a hint. Go. away." he hissed as his smile turned into a frown.

"Baji wouldn't have wanted you to push us away, you know. He would have-" you began.

However you weren't able to finish your sentence as you felt a stinging sensation on your cheek.

"Shut up! You don't know what he would've wanted! I don't know! You don't fucking know either! Ok?" he hissed as he narrowed his eyes at you. "You don't understand now and you'll never understand! So don't tell me that he wouldn't want me to act like this or whatever! Got it! Because you will never FUCKING know." he growled as he went to point at you.

Suddenly, he was brought back to reality by the sound of you whimpering as you covered your head, attempting to protect yourself. You were too afraid to say anything else to further upset him. You tried so hard not to cry, but with the stinging paired with fear tears cascaded down your face as you attempted to protect yourself from him. "Please don't hurt me.. I'm sorry" you apologized

"Oh god..." he trembled. "oh god, oh god, oh god. what have I done? y/n I'm so sorry." Mikey's eyes widened as he looked at your shaking form in front of him. He attempted to reach out and hold you, however his sudden movement scared you, causing you to flinch.

It was then that he realized the damage he'd done. Guilt hit him like a semi truck. "baby please don't cry. I'm so sorry I let this happen. I never meant to hurt you." he choked out, voice wavering. At that moment all of his emotions that he had been bottling up came pouring out like a waterfall. all the anger, despair, loneliness, and guilt finally made themselves known.

Seeing him break down in front of you made you realize how much he was truly hurting. "P-Please don't go. I'm so sorry." he whimpered. "I never meant for you to see me like that. I'm a monster god I'm so sorry." he apologized. The more you saw him break down the more you realized how bad he truly felt about this.

So, you resigned even though alarm bells were still softly blaring in your head and allowed yourself to be embraced by him. "Don't leave me... please" he whimpered. At this point you both were crying, though neither of you cared that your jackets were getting wet. you weren't sure what to say.

So, you decided not to say anything and let him calm down as you attempted to calm down yourself. Once you both calmed down, Mikey pulled away to look you in the eyes. "Please don't go... I can't lose you too" he begged as he held your face in his hands. He was trembling, absolutely terrified of what he'd done to you. You were his lifeline. He needed you. "I've got you. I promise I'm not going anywhere. I care about you, Mikey, and it hurts to see you like this." you sighed as you gazed at him with a soft expression.

It was then Mikey broke down again. though not for the same reason. It was because he was so grateful he had someone like you by his side. Someone so forgiving and compassionate. "I love you" he whimpered. "Thank you"

"I love you too"

Izana Kurokawa

Things weren't always like this. You were sure of it. But lately your nights were filled with screaming and harsh words. Despite this it was never anything too bad. Either he'd apologize with a bouquet of red tulips, white orchids, and purple hyacinths or a teddy bear and chocolates

But this... this was too far.

You don't really remember how it happened if you were honest. One moment you were having a peaceful conversation. However the moment you brought up Mikey since you'd recently met him at your school.

That's when the mood got sour. He'd said a few things and you retorted with your own set of phrases. Soon the fight grew personal. things were going too far. Both of you were saying things you really didn't mean, but since you both were in the heat of the moment there was no longer a filter stopping you from saying those harsh words and phrases.

Things peaked when he harshly shoved you against the wall in a fit of rage. You were terrified of him, but you didn't dare let him know that. you tried to shove him away but he slapped you. That's when you have had enough. You packed your things, not saying a word to him. Then, when he was asleep you quietly made your escape.

When he woke up however he was shocked and scared. He looked around the shared apartment. there were no signs of you anywhere. His chest rose and fell rapidly as he tried to figure out his next steps, but his thoughts were preventing him from doing so.

Has he finally done it? Had he finally driven you away to the point of never wanting to see him again? He understood if you did. He knows that what he did wasn't right, but he still wanted to make one final attempt at reconciliation and if it failed, all he could do was accept that.

But where have you gone? He had no absolute clue, however he knew you were good friends with Kakucho, so he dialed up his best friend, praying to whatever cruel god was out there that you were at least still alive and safe.

After a few rings Kakucho picked up. In a panicked state he began explaining what he had done, though Kakucho stopped him. "they don't want to see you right now. Leave them alone." he replied, clearly feeling bad for the other party. "Are they with you?" he asked. "No" he replied. "Are you lying to me?" Izana asked. "no." he sighed. "Where do you think they would go if they had no where else to go, Izana?" Kakucho asked.

Their parents. The answer was glaringly obvious but he was so panicked it didn't even cross his mind. "But, Izana now is not the time. Please. Give it a few days. Imagine how they feel." Kakucho replied. "fine..." he sighed.

The next few days Izana spent thinking of what to say and how to apologize. The more he thought over that night, the more he realized he fucked up. As he sat at a table at a cafe that had been your first date with him, he saw you crossing the road, talking with Kokonoi and Inui who also happened to be your friends.

However the more he looked the more he realized that even though you were smiling it wasn't reaching your eyes. It then dawned how much he had truly hurt you. He then raced towards you, not caring if others were watching.

He didn't give a fuck about how crazy he looked in that moment as he sprinted towards you because he knew that if he prolonged this any longer it would only hurt you even more. "y/N!" he yelled, causing you to jolt, effectively capturing your attention as well as Inui and Kokonoi's as well.

"The hell do you want?" Kokonoi hissed as he protectively put his arm in front of you. "Can't you see they don't want to see you! You slapped them and hurt them and you have the AUDACITY to come out here and follow us!?" "Koko... it's ok. Thank you for caring about my safety" you smiled softly at the taller man while Inui glared at Izana. "Fuck this up and I promise you, you won't be allowed to be even within a continent of them" Inui growled before they walked away, allowing the two fo you your privacy.

The two of you then decided to talk it over at the cafe he'd been sitting at. As the two of you sat down, it was then you finally got a good look at him. There were bags under his eyes, his hair was disheveled, and he was distraught.

"y/n I'm so sorry. You deserve so much better... It wasn't your fault to begin with. This whole mess was my fault and... and it wasn't your fault. It was never your fault. I was out of line. God you must hate me... you can't even look at me in the eyes." he mumbled as he let out a sad chuckle.

He felt his chances growing smaller and smaller with each passing minute. He was sure this was the end. The more he thought about it, the more he should've seen this coming. He was so harsh to you, spewing insult after insult at you, yet you always came back to him every time.

The silence was suffocating him. 'Just end it already' he thought to himself as he gazed up at you. 'I can't take it anymore. It hurts.' "Izana '' You spoke up finally, causing him to jolt as he slowly looked up at you. "I think I finally understand you… you’re scared.” you looked down at your lap. Just where were you going with this? He didn’t know. “You’re scared of being happy because the last time you were happy everything came crashing down like a castle of sand… That’s gotta be the reason you keep hurting me right? That’s what I keep telling myself anyway. But every single time this happens the harder it is for me to trust you. To trust that you even care about me anymore. You always tell me you love me, Izana, but I don’t know if I believe it anymore” you sighed as you began tearing up.

The more you spoke the more he realized how badly he fucked up. “I thought this was real, was this real? Or were you just using me just like everyone else? Were you using me to get happy? It’s getting difficult and I’m not sure how long I can keep doing this… especially after you won’t even allow me to meet new people” you muttered. “y/n… I’m so sorry” he sighed, running his hand through his hair. “I never realized you felt this way… god you should’ve told me” “You never cared enough to ask” you muttered.

Izana then got up from his seat across from you before he took you in his arms. He knew the damage he’d done was irreparable, but at least he could try to make it up to you in other ways. “I’m so sorry I made you think I never loved you. God I never meant for that to happen. You’re my home, y/n. I should’ve been more open… I shouldn’t have let my fears take over, I’m sorry. And I know ‘sorry’ isn’t what you want to hear from me right now, but I promise I still love you and I promise I’ll never let this happen again” he choked as he shook his head, truly feeling bad for what he’d done to you. “Izana… please can’t we just go back to how things were when we first fell in love?” you whispered. “I’m sorry… I don’t think that’s possible, but I promise I’ll give you the best possible future.. Just don’t leave. Please” he begged, his voice growing softer towards the end of his sentence.

“Ok… Just know that I’m going to make sure you keep your promise” you smiled, the same smile he’d fallen for when he was child. “I will. Thank you” he smiled.

“You idiot… you broke our promise” you sobbed as you knelt at his grave, holding a bouquet of red tulips and stargazer lilies close to your chest.

A/n: Thank you for your support

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omg-imatotalmess · 3 years

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Speed Demon

Hey guys! So, our new anon, Peach anon, sent me an absolutely god-tier idea, and I got a little out of control thinking about it. Thank them for this messy little thing. Hope y'all enjoy!

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Reader

Requested: No but based on an ask

The ask: hi i found ur blog recently and i LOVE your work and wanted to shower u with love and affection <3 <3 <3 and maybe also... a headcanon?? anyways roadtrip with boys are so fun to imagine like i have this hc that draco is such a nervous wreck in cars and it translates into passenger driver ("careful, careful!! that semi is switching lanes!" "draco i am sIX CARS BEhiND IT") nfdjhgjs anyways imagine getting so fed up you just reach over (1/2 peach anon claiming peach right now its MINE :D )

(2/2) and start palming at his cock switching btwn just resting ur hand on him and making him try to fuck up into you fist he'd be grabbing the little handle above the door and finally shut up literally the second after you let him come though it's like four seconds of happy peaceful silence and then its "love, steady, you're speeding a bit" anyways ty for doing all that you do ilysm :)

Warnings: Smut, hand jobs, don't jerk someone off while you drive, mild cum eating, sub!draco, dom!reader, swearing(?)

---

The muted drone of the weatherman on the radio filled the near silence of the car. Draco didn't ever talk much when you drove. For a man that enjoyed taking road trips as much as he claimed to, he certainly didn't like being in the car. You didn't mind much, though. You were just happy to spend the time alone with him. Even if the only time he broke the silence was to yell about your driving, which, to be fair, was often enough.

"Slow down! Why are you so insistent upon getting us killed?" Draco snapped, digging his fingernails into the seat.

"Draco, my love, my sweet, I'm already going under the speed limit. Try to relax a little," you said. The huff from your passenger seat reminded you why everyone had insisted that you and Draco take your own car. No one else could put up with him. Especially not with the kind of amusement you could.

"I'll relax when you stop trying to kill us," he said. But, then again, even you had your limits.

"Do you want some help, love?" you asked.

"Help? What do you mean help?" Without looking at him, you lifted your hand from the wheel, resting it lightly on his thigh. You gave it a firm squeeze. Though he didn't say anything, you found yourself enjoying watching him squirm in your peripheral vision.

"You know, help," you said cheerfully.

"You're driving," he hissed.

"You don't seem to mind much," you teased, laying your hand over his slowly hardening cock.

"Watch the road!" he snapped as a truck switched lanes several cars ahead of you. Despite his command, he bucked his hips up, grinding into your palm with no shame. You smiled. Draco could be so stubborn when he wanted to be. No matter how badly he wanted this, he'd probably just keep complaining about your driving until he couldn't anymore.

"I am," you said.

"What if you-ah-get distracted?" he asked.

"I'm just letting you use my hand. Keep it down and you won't bother me," you laughed.

"But what if--oh," he cut himself off with a groan as you popped the button of his pants and snaked your hand underneath.

"Shhh, just enjoy yourself, baby boy," you soothed, grinding the heel of your hand gently against the head of his cock. The whiny moan that reverberated throughout the car made you strain to keep your eyes on the road. You would have loved to see the face he was making just then, but you told him you wouldn't get distracted. Instead, you settled for rubbing him teasingly just to make him squirm.

"(Y/N)," he groaned.

"Hmm?" you hummed.

"Please."

"Please, what? Tell me what you want," you said, glancing over your shoulder as you switched lanes.

"I want more," he muttered.

"I thought you wanted me to concentrate on the road," you teased. With a groan of frustration, he rolled his hips into your barely moving hand.

"(Y/N), take pity on me. I'm already in this screaming death trap," he whined. You laughed, giving him a rough squeeze through his underwear. A choked groan told you all you needed to know. All he wanted was attention. That was likely why he'd been complaining so much in the first place.

"Alright, alright. Take your cock out for me then, baby," you said.

After a second of shuffling, you felt him push himself into your waiting hand. It never took much to work him up, and you were grateful for it. You loved seeing him hot and leaking for you pretty much as soon as you started playing with him. Swiping your thumb over the slit, you smiled as the wetness there smeared with your touch. He bucked impatiently at the soft attention. It wasn't what he wanted. Pulling your hand away for a second, you spat into it before beginning to jack him at a torturous pace. It wasn't a substitute for lube, but Draco didn't seem to mind any.

A quick glance at your passenger told you that he was just enjoying the sensation. He could have been anywhere for all he seemed to care. It was almost like he'd forgotten about the car entirely. One pale hand gripped the seat under him while the other grabbed the handle over his head to steady him as he thrust into your hand. Like a man unhinged, he drove up into the tight circle of your fist practically unassisted. You doubt he really minded the lack of real lube.

"That's a good boy," you praised, switching back into the other lane. "I bet you feel so much better now that you have something to keep you busy."

"Yes! So much better!" he moaned.

"I know being my good boy always helps you relax," you said. The car in front of you swerved and cut off the guy in the other lane, who blared his horn. You slowed slightly, glaring at them.

"Always! Love being your good boy." Draco's voice was so earnest and sweet, all pitched up like that.

"And you are such a good boy, Draco," you said.

Little punched-out noises rippled through the car, overpowering the drone of the radio station you'd been listening to earlier. Honestly, you preferred them. Any sweet, pathetic little sound Draco made was infinitely more interesting than any news guy on the radio. Hips pounding into your hand, Draco tipped his head back against the headrest with the most desperate wine you'd heard in a while. You shivered, cutting your eyes away from the road to steal a glance at him in all his strung-out, desperate beauty.

And you weren't disappointed. His usually pale skin was flushed a bright pink, eyes lidded and more focused on you than anything else, and his bottom lip caught between his teeth in an unsuccessful attempt to quiet himself. A real thing of beauty. Your sweet, pretty boy Draco. Twisting your hand over the head of his cock, you relished in that fact for a moment.

"If you keep looking at me like that, I'd be half tempted to pull over and fuck you properly in the back seat," you said.

"Please," Draco begged breathily, slamming his hips up erratically.

"Don't tempt me, baby boy. We're on a schedule," you said. Though, it really was a charming idea.

"(Y/N), please. I don't care about being late. Want you to fuck me," he whined.

"You say that now," you laughed.

"Please, I'll be so good," he whined.

"If you can cum from my hand now, Draco, I'll keep you so well fucked on a this trip you won't remember anything but me," you said, an alluring promise coloring your voice.

"Yes, yes! Want that! Wanna cum for you so much," he babbled. Arching his back against the seat, he drove his cock into your hand with renewed desperation.

"Are you close? You wanna a good boy and cum for me?" you purred. The car in front of you stopped short, but Draco didn't even seem to notice that you'd jerked to a stop. He just gripped the handle above him and whined for you.

"Wanna be a good boy. Please, I wanna cum," he cried. Looking over, you noticed the tears gathering at the corners of his eyes. You smiled gently at him.

"Oh, Dray, you've been so good," you said. His mouth dropped open into a soft cry as his hips completely lost rhythm. "Go ahead, baby boy. Cum for me."

Draco's hips stuttered, once, twice, and by the third time, he was cumming all over your hand. His eyes screwed shut, and a pitchy cry of your name left his lips as he shook in your grasp. And you just worked him through it. Pumping him gently while he whimpered through the aftershocks. You didn't stop until his thighs shook so hard you could feel the car move. Then, finally, you pulled your hand away and lifted it to his mouth.

"Clean up your mess, baby boy," you said.

"Yes, (Y/N)," he said tiredly, sticking his tongue out. Pressing your fingers against it, you let him lick your hand clean of his own cum until you were satisfied. You two had started moving again by the time he finally came around enough to really talk to you.

"How do you feel, Dray?" you asked. He gave you a sleepy smile.

"Like you need to slow down. You're speeding," he said.

"I'm not speeding," you said. You were, in fact, speeding a little.

"Don't think that just because I just had the best orgasm of my life that I don't remember you drive like a demon," he said. Shaking your head, you laughed in disbelief.

"Only you could complain after having the best orgasm of your life," you sighed.

"I thought you loved that about me," he said. "You're still speeding."

"Maybe I should have pulled over," you said, rolling your eyes. Well, it had been nice while it lasted. And Draco was right. Kinda. You did love him, even if you wouldn't exactly say you loved his complaining.

#draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy x reader smut #draco malfoy #sub!draco #dom!reader #draco malfoy x reader imagine #draco malfoy x reader oneshot #draco malfoy smut #draco smut #draco x reader #draco x reader smut #harry potter #harry potter imagine #harry potter smut #hp

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randynova · 3 years

Note

Poor Petal, she must have had a panic attack when she found out she was pregnant for the first time.

She was downright terrified.

She broke down crying, screaming into her pillow, refusing to let Doma hold or console her. Surprisingly, he left her alone, letting her deal with her emotions on her own.

The only words he left her was, "Oh, [Name], I'm so happy. Soon, we're going to be parents, my sweet pretty petal!"

[Name] just couldn't understand how this happened. She was careful, so diligent in taking the tea every night. She began racking her mind, trying to make sense of it all, and search for a possibility why this small mistake occurred.

Until she recalled two months prior, where Doma's insatiable hunger for his wife consumed him. Like an animal in heat, he forced himself on her, ignoring her pleas to stop, releasing his fertile seed deep into her womb. Over and over again, he made sure every night she was filled with his cum, having the sole mission to make her bear his children.

✦✦✦ ✦✦✦

Doma had to travel southward for demon duties and he felt this was the perfect opportunity for you both to get closer. A whole week together, all alone while he was free from his duties, a chance to finally have some quality bonding time without his cult. It was a dream come true.

However, this place was in the middle of nowhere, hardly any villages, let alone stores, around. All the sources you used to protect yourself from Doma were gone, the foods and teas you consumed to prevent a pregnancy out of reach.

The only people around were fellow upper moons, who stayed far away from your husband, especially you.

Thus, you were forced to endure his doting behavior, forced to play his dangerous games, and forced to let him breed you.

✦✦✦ ✦✦✦

"Pretty petal. So pretty, so beautiful. You're taking me so well, hah," Doma laughs, snapping his hips harshly, thick balls slapping against your skin. You bounced with every thrust, mewling and whimpering, begging him to slow down. It only stirred him on to go faster. "No, no, no, this is the best way to ensure maximum success with fertilizing you. I have to make sure my seed is as deep as possible inside you, my petal!"

The aching between your legs grew, arching your back as an orgasm washes over you once again. Your juices release over his thick cock, eyes rolling to the back of your head as your velvet walls constrict around him. "Ah! Ah, D-Doma!"

"Mm, hngh! P-petal! Petal! Petal! " Doma whines out, biting his bottom lip, grinning like a madman as the sweet relief of climax fast approaches him. His thrusts turn sloppy and his hips stutter. Quickly, he pulls out and leaves you feeling empty for a few seconds. He grabs your legs, hooking his arms around your knees, and pushes your thighs to your chest, claws digging into your plush skin as he starts to hammer into you. "So-so good! Such a good girl! You'll be such a good mother, sweet petal! Just you wait! I'll make you a mommy, ok? Just- fuck!"

He releases long, thick ropes of cum, painting your womb white with his fertile seed once more. He thrusts weakly, head falling back as he gasps. "Mm, ah-ah, [N-Name]...!" You squeeze your eyes shut, looking to the side, swallowing bitterly as he fills you to the brim, cum leaking out as he slides in and out. It drips onto the bed, staining the pristine, red cotton sheets.

"Oh, petal, please don't look away. I want to see you," Doma croons, pulling out with a shaky breath and looking down at the mess between your legs with a grin. White painted the sheets below like a puddle. He pulls out with a groan. Seeing the way your pussy gushes out his cum, flexing around nothing, it makes him want to take you all over again. He slides two fingers up across your folds, gathering his seed, and pushing it back into your sopping hole with his fingertips. He hums whilsts you whine, rocking your hips at the weird sensation. "Such a pretty sight, you took me so well, petal. I'm so proud of you!"

He's met with silence. Though, it doesn't bother him as he already fulfilled his task for the night. After five long rounds, he believes its enough for the day and he'll repeat the process tomorrow. For now, both of you need rest, we'll, mainly you if you're going to stay awake during the whole ordeal.

You were in a daze as Doma cleaned both you and himself up, changing the sheets into soft clean ones, and covering your body with the blankets, tucking it in.

"Good night, my pretty wife," Doma whispers, taking his spot beside you, his arms slithering around your frame and pulling you close. His chest pressed against your nude back, his legs tangling in yours, and he buried his face in your hair, taking a deep breath of your sweet aroma. "I love you..."

✦✦✦ ✦✦✦

Immediately after coming back from your journey, Doma became busy, his schedule packed to the brim with orders from his master. It irritated him, saddened him even, that he would be apart from you for a while.

As much as he loved ravishing your body every night, he had to focus on completing every task with precise accuracy. He doesn't want to disappoint his master after all.

But before he left you alone the first night back, he replaced your assigned follower with a different one. One that reported back to him and carried out his orders, their loyalty to the demon overriding their morals to protect you.

He wasn't stupid. It didn't take long for him to figure out the tea you drank prevented you from becoming pregnant, a huge change to the tea he got to make you fertile. The news did upset him, but he hid the discovery and played along with your little antics. It made him try to come up with a solution, where he disguised the tea you drank to better fit his wishes.

Like an unsuspecting mouse, you walked right into the cat's claws.

Anyone who tried helping you was either eaten by Doma or killed by him in another manner. If the actions of a stupid, disloyal follower was keeping him away from his dream of having a family, the demon won't hesitate to get rid of them. They should know better.

Doma's dreams are his followers' orders.

If he says he dreamt of eating a hundred virgins, his followers should offer him the bountiful feast of meat from a hundred virgins.

If he says he dreamt of growing his cult, his followers should go out and recruit people to join them.

Now, if he says he dreams of a child with his wife, his followers should offer their help and make sure he gets his child.

By god, did they live up to his expectations for once. Everyone - from the ones who prepared your meals to the new members who brought you gifts - made sure every small action built up to the final wish of their leader's plan.

Every food and drink you consumed had been carefully chosen to help make you plump and help the baby grow. Every bath had been filled with excotic herbs to soothe your changing body. Every offering had slowly been gearing towards a human smaller than you. Yet, you never really paid attention to the small differences.

Doma noticed how tired you seem lately, how you complained to the follower assigned to you about the tenderness of your breast and the pain of your abdominal and pelvis area, and even how different you looked, almost glowing.

At first, he didn't put the pieces together. Surely all women were like this, right? Yet, that wasn't the case.

He found himself always wondering why your emotions were easily more unhinged, why you ate the foods he hand-fed you more easily, or why you were napping in the afternoon. Yes, he liked these changes and welcomed them eagerly, believing you were finally warming up to him. But why?

After nearly six weeks, you were worried why your period didn't come. You speculated the stress could have been a prominent factor in causing your late cycle, sometimes occurring in your youth. You seem bloated lately as well, you note, or it could've been weight gain due to the food you have been eating lately. Thus you brushed it off.

It'll come soon, you just know it. Afterall, you're still a human and change is a part of life.

In another area of the temple, a different situation was unfolding. When the trusted follower reported to Doma about your very late menstrual cycle, he clapped with joy like a child being entertained. Of course! How slow can he be?! You finally are carrying his child! The hormonal changes affected how you behaved with him and the sudden weight gain explained it all.

Oh, he just couldn't wait for the day to come!

However...

He had to make sure you did nothing irresponsible to push back his dream.

Doma became more strict and possessive with you. He didn't let you go anywhere alone. Even if you were in the privacy of your room, someone had to be there.

The days where you spent waiting for him in your bedroom were now spent at his side. He forced you to sit on his lap like before, feeding you more than you're used to. Any question concerning his increase of doting behavior was met with a laugh and a kiss to your cheek. "I just love you so much, I want you to be healthy!"

Doma isn't stupid. He knew the moment he mentioned, or even insinuated, you were pregnant, you would break down and possibly affect the baby negatively. He didn't know if you were capable of taking drastic measures of getting rid of it this far along, but he didn't want to find out.

With careful, watchful eyes, Doma made sure everyday you were fed well, that you were always protected, and made sure nothing upset you. He went the extra mile to find medicine and herbs incase you ever fell ill. The demon made sure your attention was always occupied to keep from noticing your changing body.

To say it worked was an understatement.

By the fifth month, you realized despite your growing stomach, you weren't gaining weight anywhere else. Most of your clothes fit like a glove except around your abdomen.

Your heart began to race as you wracked your mind of the events for the past few months.

When was the last time you had gotten your period?

You don't recall changing your sheets every month because you stained it, nor do you recall dealing with the hassle of keeping yourself clean. Come to think of it, you felt at ease these past few months, the usual cramps and cravings you felt no longer bothering you like before.

Ridding yourself of your clothes, slipping your kimono off until you're left in your undergarments of hadajyuban and susuyoke. You undid your sash and revealed your stomach. You're met with the sight of your bulging tummy and tender breasts. Pressing a finger pad to the skin of your stomach, it seemed firm instead of soft and plush. With a shaky breath, you pressed your palms against your stomach and...

Kick. Kick.

You removed your hands immediately, face falling. No...

No. No! No! No!

How didn't you notice it before!?

Your chest fell and rose quickly with every breath you took, hyperventilating as the situation dawned on you. You were pregnant. Actually pregnant with that damn demon's child. A bellowing scream ripped from your throat, the high-pitch intensity resonating like shattering glass throughout the temple.

Doma raced to your bedroom, fearing the worse as he heard his wife scream. He ran into the bedroom, only to be met with your form bawling on the floor, hunched over as sobs wracked your body. Followers tried to console you, yet you ignored them.

Doma approached you carefully and crouched down, but the moment he put a hand on your back, you whipped your head and cracked your hand across his face like a whip. He fell back, catching himself, shock etched into his features. You... You hit him? He paid no mind to the followers who raced to his side, asking him if he was okay. He was more surprised you dared slap him.

The stinging of his cheek didn't hurt , but it caught him off guard. He looked up and leered at you with wide eyes. Yet he clashed with the burning, sorrowful gaze you held.

"Fuck you! Goddamnit, leave me alone, you monster! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!!" You screech, standing up and burying your face in your hands. Tears slipped through your fingers and dripped to the floor.

Doma smiled, finally understanding why you were reacting the way you were. He began chuckling, then giggling, and then he broke into a fit of laughter. He stood up and held a hand to his face, looking at you with a crazed, delighted expression on his face. Gleefully, he spoke, "Oh, petal! You finally caught on!"

You shake your head and begin crying louder, turning your back to the demon. "No, no, no...," you whimper.

"We're going to be parents...," Doma croons, taking small, quiet steps towards you. Like before, he tries pulling you close but you brush him off.

"Please... Please, just leave me alone...!"

"Oh, [Name], you'll see. Once our baby is here, you'll love being a mommy. Just like I'll love being a papa...!"

"No... I didn't want this...."

"But I did! I told you for so long...," Doma whispers, uncomfortably close to you. He lets out a breathy laugh. "And now that you're finally with child, I'm going to make sure I see my baby no matter what."

You could only stand in horror, listening to his voice. The panic crawled up your throat, fear taking hold of you as you froze up. With bated breath, you wait for him to leave. But his next words made your heart drop and blood run cold.

"I'm willing to do anything for our child, [Name]. Even if it means I may have to hurt you to guarantee their safe arrival."

✦✦✦ ✦✦✦

Doma is not submissive and breedable. He is dominant and fertile.

He finally has his wish of having a family with the woman he loves.

And he'll do anything to make it come true.

Even if it means he has to become the monster and hurt you to get it.

✦✦✦ ✦✦✦

403 notes · View notes

tu-sugar-mami · 3 years

Text

What if Alcina comforts you when you go through a break up:

"It's all right, dear. Let it all out..." She held you close to her chest while you sobbbed incontrolably. Your heart clenched at the memory of what happened earlier that day. Her strong arms were surrounding you, protecting you, shielding you against your demons. Her chin rested on the top of your head while her retracted claws scratched your scalp soothingly.

You regretted avoiding her all day. It wasn't your intention at first, but you just couldn't face her. Of course you couldn't run for long, and so you inevitably stumbled upon her in the hallway on your way to the library.

Alcina is a very observant person, you know that, she always notice even the smallest details, and your downcast gaze along with arrhythmic heartbeat were obviously not the exception. You tried to sweep everything under the rug, to hide your struggle and the way your heart clenched, but those piercing gorgeous golden eyes bore into your soul making it impossible to keep your walls up, and when you couldn't hold it in any longer and finally broke, when your tears and your pain finally saw light she didn't think it twice, she didn't hesitate. She held you, leaning down to your insignificant height to recieve you with open arms and an open heart.

"I did my best, Alci." You said, your hoarse voice reverberating into her throat and your tears wetting her neck. "I did my best and i wasn't enough..." Your arms circled her waist when she kneeled and brought you closer, sitting you on her lap like a crying child. She didn't even care to ruin her dress on the dirty floor.

"What happened? Who hurt you like this?" Her voice was gentle, and you didn't notice the hidden rage she held towards whoever hurt you like that.

"He dumped me. He said that—"You sniffled and your hands clutched her dress as if your life depended on it. "He said that i'm useless, just a nuisance he had to put up with all that time we were together..."

It was then when Alcina reliazed you were talking about your shitty boyfriend. The same man she felt jealous of, because he got to hold you whenever he wanted, he could cuddle with you at night every night, and above all he could kiss you as many times as he wanted while she could only fantasize about it in her dreams. God, Alcina hated that man, but seeing you happy made it impossible for her to get rid of him. And now she regretted not doing it. 'How dare that man make you cry like this?'

"Darling, here, look at me." She carefully but firmly guided your chin up, angling your head so you could look at her. The stern look on her face made her beauty even brighter. " That man does not deserve your tears." Her hand cupped your cheek, or well, half of your face, and her thumb stroked your cheek softly, soothingly, helping your sobbing subside. "That idiot will pay for telling you such things. He is a fool for letting you go, and you my lo– dear, deserve someone much better than that garbage man."

"I'm not hurt because he dumped me, Alcina." That got her attention, you almost never called her by her complete first name. "It hurts me that he's right." You wiped your tears with the back of your hand and stood up. Even kneeled Alcina was taller than you, and you couldn't hold her gaze. You turned your back to her, trying to hide the shame you felt. "It hurts me because if that insignificant bitch thinks that i'm worthless, then there's no way i'm enough for the one who i really love..."

Alcinas breath hitched. Those were news she was not aware of. Has there been someone else this whole time? But who could it be the one who stole you heart? You never mentioned anything, and to her it looked like you were happy as you were, but she clearly was reading you wrong. She felt a sting in her chest. How could she have let something like that slip past her? Had she known you were unhappy... well, she could have taken care of that.

"What do you mean... who you love?"

"It's nothing." You said too quickly to be unsuspiciouis. "I've said too much. Please, i want-- i want to be alone right now." You tried to walk away, but before you even gave a step a strong hand held onto your wrist.

"Please, tell me."

The way Alcina asked, breathless, almost a whisper, made you turn back and confront her begging expression.

"I can't. I don't want to lose you, i'll be damned if--" You sighed. "I'm not enough."

Alcina's eyes widened.

Those beautiful golden eyes always enthralled you. The first time you saw them in that god forsaken forest you thought the journey was worth it if you got to see that pretty color. But now, they just filled you with sadness and made your stomach churn with anxiety.

"Is... Is it me? Please, i need to know."

Your breath catched in your throat. You let out a whimper and the tears flowed again.

"I'm sorry... i have to go." With a hard tug you freed your wrist from her grip and made a run for the stairs without looking back to the desperate shouts of Alcina begging you to stay.

You were no longer in sight, and not even the echo of your hurried footsteps could be heard. You slipped off her hands just like a handful of sand would.

She had you for a moment, completing the other half of her damaged heart, and the next second you were running away from her only leaving her broken heart behind.

Alcina didn't even notice the tears flowing out of her own eyes, too distracted by the faint smell of your perfume that was slowly dissipating.

She had you for a second, bringing up a new world of possibilities, where her dreams would not longer be impossible, only for them to be shattered mercilessly.

Alcina could feel her lungs being constricted, as if something were crushing her on the inside. Her eyes stung. Her heart hammered in her chest.

She had you... and then she lost you.

She hadn't alowwed herself to love for many, many years. She had prived herself from feeling any form of affection and caring that were not for her daughters and yet, her walls crumbled in a matter of days when she met you. She denied at first, tried to push you away but you, insufferable little thing, charmed your way into her heart and when she least expected it she was swooning at the sight of you eating whole turkey voraciously.

Was it worth it? The pain in her chest, the dissapointment, the stress? Well, she already knew the answer.

Kneeled on the library hallway Alcina made a decision.

Alcina stood up in a blink and did what she had not done in a very long time. She ran. Ran and ran as fast as her legs could carry her, down the stairs where you had run too.

She hoped it wasn't too late, she wished she hadn't taken that long to act, and she yearned to have you back in her arms.

The high heels were slowing her down, and she didn't hesitate to take them off while she ran, stumbling a bit but keeping the pace. She didn't care if it was not proper of a lady to run barefoot around the castle, hoisting her dress up in an attempt to cover more ground, you were more important than any propriety.

It's a good thing to have really long legs when your'e chasing someone, and even though Alcina was very out of breath she managed to reach you just in time as you were opening the front door.

"Wait!" She yelled, and you snapped your neck back to face her. The sight made your heart flutter and screech in pain at the same time. Alcina had gotten rid of her shoes, a good part of the skirt of her dress was strongly clutched under her arm. Her make up was smudged and you could tell she was sweating, something you had never seen her do. Her hair was ruffled and her hat was gone.

"Alcina..."

You tried to run again but Alcina was already running down the stairs and you didn't go too far outside before she clashed with you, her front to your back, circling your body with her arms while you both fell to the snowy ground.

"Wait! Please, please wait." Her ragged breath felt hot against the nape of your neck. Your glossy eyes made it hard for you to see, but you could feel her lips on your skin. "Don't go. Don't leave me. I--" She swallowed before speaking again. "Oh god, dear, i love you. Don't you understand?"

You let out a short, shaky breath. Did she really tell you that? you wonder.

"You... what?"

"You heard me. I love you." Alcina held you tighter, impossibly closer to her, and in her arms the horrible cold from the outside didn't faze you. "I love you, i love you, i love you. I'll tell you as many times as you need. I love you, please stay with me."

"You mean it?" Your voice was shaky, your breath was ragged from all the running, and your heart matched Alcina's own. "You really mean it?" You turned in her embrace, enough to face her, and she held you face with her hand. it was an awkard position, but there was nowhere else you wanted to be.

"I mean it..." And as she was teached that actions speak better than words, she leaned in to kiss you, capturing your lips with her own. You turned completely and wasted no time before kissing her again. And again and again.

"I loved you first." You said, letting out a wet giggle, all that crying really did a number on you. You tenderly tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, your touch lingering for a bit. "And if you let me, i'll love you until the end."

"I would like nothing more..." And she kissed you again, hungrily this time and you of course kissed back. "Also, i'll kill your ex. Life is a luxury your little bitch of ex-partner doesn't deserve."

"Alci no!"

------------------

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#lady dimitrescu x female reader #lady dimitrescu x reader #lady dimitrescu #alcina x reader #alcina dimitrescu #re8 #my fic

688 notes · View notes

hpimaginesandblurbs · 3 years

Note

may you make hermione x fem reader x harry smut where the girls are both hard dom and punishing harry. like, reader eating out hermione in front of harry? degrade him, spank him with a paddle, making him ride hermione's thigh while tying his hands? literally they both rail harry and play with each other in every way 😻

pairing(s): harry potter x hermione granger x reader

warning(s): 18+, threesome, dom/sub roles, dom!reader, dom!hermione, sub!harry, mentions of spanking/paddling, bondage, oral (female receiving), thigh riding, slight anal play, voyeurism(?)

word count: 1.3k

a/n: this is my first time writing anything with two girls so i hope you enjoy! if you want to request anything else with the girls, please feel free! i'm bi so it really is no hardship lol. happy pride month btw to all my lovely lbgtqia+ followers and readers!

“Look at him whining, so pathetic,” Hermione mused from where she laid naked on the bed, waiting for you to join her.

You looked down at Harry, who you had just tied to a chair. His hands were bound behind his back, his legs tied down to the legs, and his chest strapped to the back. He had no relief for his aching cock that hung heavy between his thighs. Or his aching ass that you and Hermione had just had the pleasure in turning red.

You rounded the chair until you were in front of him before you grabbed a handful of his unruly black hair and tugged so he had no choice but to look at you.

“What are you whining about, hm? Is it that sore arse of yours? Because you know you deserved that. Or do you just want to get off that badly like some desperate little whore?” You asked, a smirk coming to your face as he blushed just as scarlet as his house colors.

“Both, Miss,” he forced himself to respond, knowing he would only make it worse for himself if he didn’t answer.

Not that your little masochist wouldn’t love a little more torture. You and Hermione always made it worth it in the end.

“That’s what I thought,” you said, releasing his hair in an aggressive push, knocking him back against the hard chair. He whined at the contact, and you knew the movement put unwanted pressure on his ass. “You’re lucky you’ve been good so far. You should be grateful I’m even letting you stay in the room. All you have to do now is be a good boy and watch me take care of ‘Mione and maybe I’ll let you get off. Try not to make too much noise,” you taunted before turning on your heel and making your way to the bed, sure to swing your hips just enough to torture him.

It was short work getting Hermione in the position you needed her in, exposed to Harry while in the perfect position for you to pleasure her.

You let him look at her exposed cunt for a moment before your fingers were on her and in her, a gasp of pleasure falling from her lips.

“This could be you right now, touching her and making her cum. But you just had to be a naughty little boy who couldn’t keep it in his pants,” you spoke directly to Harry, not missing a beat with your fingers. What you said was in reference to the rule he broke, no touching himself without your or Hermione’s permission. It was the whole reason he was being punished in the first place.

“Please,” he begged in a breathless whine, his eyes clouded with arousal and his chest heaving as he tried to keep himself calm.

You didn’t answer him, just simply turned your full attention now to Hermione who was basking in the pleasure your fingers were giving her. You watched her for a moment, in awe of how lucky you were to have two of the most beautiful people you knew under your command. It was intoxicating and arousing all at once.

Slowly, you kissed your way down her soft thighs, relishing in the way she shuddered in anticipation. When your tongue connected with her clit, you heard twin moans come from the pair of Gryffindors and you were sure you were dripping onto the bed by now.

You worked her effortlessly. With practice came perfection and you knew this way Hermione’s favorite way to get off, so both you and Harry had had plenty of practice. You felt her warm walls grip your fingers as you worked her closer and closer to her release until she let out a cry of your name and spasmed against your face, the wetness of her climax evident on your lips and chin when you pulled away.

You moved your body to kiss her, letting her taste herself off of you in a heated kiss. Her hands trailed your body, already desperate to return the favor but you pulled yourself away before he could get too far.

“I feel like we’ve been awfully neglectful of someone,” you said quietly, but just loud enough for Harry to hear.

“He’s been quiet,” she commented casually, speaking as if he wasn’t even there.

You made a noise of agreement before you continued the little charade. “Maybe he’s finally learning his lesson.”

“Doubt such a pathetic whore could ever learn his lesson,” she teased with a smirk.

It was then he finally made a noise, a high pitched whine as he listened to the two of you speak so openly about him. Both of your heads snapped towards him, and he was watching the both of you with a feral, lustful gaze that made your head spin.

When you took stock of his body, you couldn’t help but grind yourself down on Hermione’s thigh just to ease the pressure you felt between your legs. His face and chest were flushed a pretty shade of pink, a stark contrast to his angry, red cock that was jutting up between his legs. He was leaking an absurd amount of precum, probably of the edge of cumming untouched if you had to guess.

He was beautiful when he submitted like this.

“Have you learned your lesson yet?” You asked, staring at him intently.

“Yes, yes, please, Miss. I learned my lesson. Please. Just want to touch you. Anything. Please,” he begged aimlessly now that he had the chance to speak, his hips thrusting against the air pointlessly in search of any friction. A harsh breeze would probably send him over the edge right now.

“Shh,” you cooed as you made your way over to him, careful only to touch his face when you approached. “You’ve been good. I’m going to untie you now and you’re going to go sit on ‘Mione’s thigh and hump your little mind away. Does that sound fair?” You asked, slowly releasing him from his bonds as you spoke.

“I won’t last,” he whined quietly, sounding beautifully pitiful.

You couldn’t help the smile that came to your face. “It’s cute that you really think we’ll be done with you that easy,” you told him as you coaxed him up from his chair and watched him make his way over to Hermione, his hands still tied behind his back.

You did what you could to help him onto the bed, but even your touch seemed to affect him too much.

When his cock touched the smooth skin on Hermione’s leg, he let out a beautiful moan that had you and Hermione smiling at each other over his shoulder.

“Show us how bad you want it. Show me how bad a little slut like you wants to cum,” Hermione instructed, knowing full well he wouldn’t last long against her body.

With his head buried in Hermione’s curls, he began to rut against her slowly, doing everything in his power to keep his climax at bay for as long as possible. Her hands stayed gentle on his hips, not guiding him but just a reminder that she was there.

From behind, his entire ass was exposed to you and you knew you had to take advantage of it.

Slowly, your hand smoothed circles over his now bruising skin until your fingers were in the perfect position to swirl around his tight hole. He shuddered and groaned at the feeling, but continued in his valiant effort.

When one of your fingers slipped in, he was now rocking back onto your fingers and forward against Hermione’s skin. He rocked one, two, three more times until he was cumming with a cry and a full body spasm, his walls tight around your finger.

You both let him breathe through it for a moment before two sets of hands were on him again.

With your chest pressed against his back, you leaned down closely to whisper in his ear.

“How about you lay down and take care of me now? Show me what that pretty mouth is good for.”

And you relished in the way his body eagerly shivered against yours.

#harry potter #harry james potter #harry potter smut #harry potter imagine #harry potter blurb #harry potter drabble #harry x hermione #hemione granger #hermione granger smut #hermione granger imagine #hermione granger blurb

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spiderlilyserendipity · 3 years

Text

Obviously, pretty!

JJK x female reader

Tags: established relationship, rainy day sex, washing dishes together, soft domestic things yk, probably the most vanilla smut i’ve ever written on this account hahaha thank u for cleansing my mind with ur request anon, forehead kisses, i didn’t need to tag that but i Needed to tag that u feel me?

Warnings: none

WC: 2137

If there’s anything you know about your boyfriend, it’s that if he can’t go to the gym, he will pout all day.

After going too hard in dance practice, Jungkook ends up too sore to go to the gym one day. His trainer must’ve heard from the choreographer that Jungkook overdid himself, which is why Jungkook’s trainer told him their session for today was cancelled.

“What am I supposed to dooo if I can’t work out on my day off!” Jungkook complains, wrapping his arms around your waist as you wash dishes.

“You could help your wife clean the house.” You joke, knowing it’s your turn to wash dishes anyway since Jungkook made breakfast (or rather brunch) this morning.

You feel Jungkook smile, his cheek fluffing up where it’s pressed against yours. His face gets a little hot whenever you call yourself his wife, but you know he likes it. The two of you are college sweethearts, starting to date in secret shortly after meeting in first year. Fast forward six years and everything has changed. Your doe-eyed college boyfriend is no longer just an idol but part of the most successful band in the world. And not only that, he’s getting a master’s in business, a slightly confusing decision but one that you respect nonetheless.

You yourself have changed, too. You’re now a business woman, working in a skyscraper in Seoul, and doing considerably well for being only two years out of college. You make good money, and Jungkook does too, and you share this high-rise apartment together. Every year, you and Jungkook sneak away to Busan at least once or twice to meet his parents and your own parents have already begun asking when they’re getting grandchildren. So it’s safe to say it’ll only be a matter of time until Jungkook puts a ring on it anyway.

No one knows, but that’s what makes it special.

“Can’t do that.” Jungkook answers, pretending like your flirting didn’t affect him.

You smile as you rinse another plate off. “Why’s that?”

“It’s raining. If I do work while it rains I’ll get sleepy.” Jungkook pouts.

You laugh, rinsing a cloth under the tap and putting it in his hand. “Go wipe down the stovetop. It should be cold by now.”

Obediently, Jungkook lets go of you to do as you said. But you realize he hasn’t let the joke go when he pouts at you. “Okay, work done. Let’s go lay down.”

“Baby, you’ve literally done concerts in the rain.” You tell him.

“I don’t even do concerts. I’m a business major.” Jungkook lies unconvincingly, his cheeks turning pink. You giggle, finishing up the last of the dishes.

“Fine, you big baby. Let’s go lay down.” You take his hand and lead him back to the bedroom. Jungkook shuts the door behind you. You take off the sweatshirt you were wearing to wash dishes (one of Jungkook’s), tossing it aside.

“Babe, that’s not neat!” Jungkook insists, but you whirl around and quiet him with a long kiss.

“You didn’t ask me to come here to do our laundry, Jungkookie. You and I both know that.” You tell him. Jungkook bites his lip, looking at your pretty lips.

“I guess that’s true.” He grins, and you grin back.

You wrap your arms around his neck and Jungkook leans down, picking you up into his arms with ease. You wrap your legs around his waist as he bounces you in place slightly, hands cupping your ass softly. You love many things about Jungkook, but you especially love how special he makes you feel each time.

Jungkook lays you down like a newlywed bride, pressing soft kisses on your cheeks, forehead, even your nose.

You giggle at him and he smiles down at you, warm and safe and entirely Jungkook. “I love you.” You whisper, stroking your thumb along his cheekbone, admiring that little scar on his cheek for the millionth time.

“Not as much as I love you.” Jungkook says, laying himself down on top of you and starting to kiss you again, this time with more passion.

“Hhh, Jungkook.” You whimper, tangling a hand in his hair.

When you separate this time, Jungkook sits up to take off his shirt. You run your hand down his sculpted abdomen, over his sweet, pretty waist and his toned stomach. You sit up to kiss along his chest, making him hiss as you make love marks in places his shirt will cover. No one knows, except you two. And you love it like that.

Jungkook tucks his hands under the light tank top you’re wearing, making you gasp at how cold his hands are. Jungkook laughs under his breath at your reaction. “I told you rainy days are bad for me.”

“Well that’s why I’m here to warm you up.” You joke, which makes Jungkook giggle.

“What would I do without you?” He says exaggeratedly, but his eyes tell you he means it. With that, Jungkook begins kissing along your neck as he works your tank top up. Since it’s just the two of you, you seldom wear a bra around the house. You moan as Jungkook pulls the tank top over your head, then in one swift motion presses you down into the bed.

Jungkook slots his thigh between your legs as he starts kissing you lower. He licks and bites gently at your nipples, making you writhe in pleasure. You watch through half-lidded eyes as he makes love marks on the tops of your breasts and around them, kissing down your stomach to your shorts.

He glances up at you for consent, and you nod.

He pulls your shorts and panties off in one clean movement, tossing them to the side despite having just told you to be neater. You grin at Jungkook’s eagerness, but the smile slides off your face when Jungkook wraps his lips around your clit.

Slowly, Jungkook gets you wetter and wetter until your inner thighs are shiny with arousal. Only when you’re whimpering does Jungkook insert his fingers into you, one to ease you and then a second to stretch you. Even after all this time, Jungkook pays special attention to your body.

He’s so slow and gentle today that you actually get a bit needy. “Jungkookie.” You sigh. Jungkook sits up, knowing that you’re already close.

“I know, baby. You’re doing so well.” Jungkook praises, kissing you all over, down your neck and along your collarbone. You watch as Jungkook takes his sweats and underwear off, then grabs a bottle of lube from the bedside drawer. You stopped using condoms when you moved in together (around two years ago) since you’re on birth control. Jungkook always has you ready to take him after some foreplay, but he’s told you he dislikes doing it without lube.

You watch Jungkook lube himself up, then align himself to your entrance. He places one palm on the side of your waist, kissing you quickly on the forehead. “Ready?” He checks with you again. You nod.

You pant quietly as Jungkook enters, both from arousal and his size. It has been years since you did this together for the first time, but Jungkook’s size is always a surprise to you somehow. You like to be stubborn and say you don’t need lube to take him, but you both know you’d need at least a bit for his size.

You pull him in even closer, burying his head in your shoulder. As he bottoms out, you moan his name quietly.

Jungkook smirks, knowing he has you in the palm of his hand. You pull him in for a kiss, this one full of tongue and passion. Jungkook feels your desperation and lets you have control for a moment, just to let you burn off steam. But then, he’s angling his head in and pressing you into the pillow, and you don’t stand a chance under how good he’s making you feel.

“Baby, I need it.” You beg breathlessly. Jungkook smiles faintly at your shyness to say the word “come” in bed, even after all this time.

“Need what, baby?” He teases you, knowing full well you’ll never use dirty talk unless he pushes you to that point. You whine at his teasing. Jungkook kisses your shoulder. “I’m kidding. I know my pretty girl is too shy for words like that.”

“I’m not shy!” You protest shyly. “We-We’re having sex right now! I’m not shy at all!”

Jungkook snorts. “Great observation, genius. Any other amazingly dirty comments?”

You’re starting to squirm under Jungkook’s intense gaze, knowing you always lose at this game. “I want to have a baby!” You announce.

Jungkook laughs. “Give me time to buy a ring at least.”

You’re shocked. “Really?” You ask, eyes wide like someone who Christmas came early for.

Jungkook flicks your nipple with one hand, making you cry out. “Obviously, pretty.” He says confidently, making you think he’s thought about it before. You blush and Jungkook looks at you like you’re an angel he’s captured in his own hands. “Now if you’re done being raunchy and nasty, can we get off? My hips were already sore but having a conversation in this position is even worse than the gym.”

“Baby!” You gasp, scandalized.

Jungkook pretends to look scandalized too. “I said let me buy a ring first!”

You groan into his shoulder, knowing he won again. Jungkook laughs, then starts to pick up the pace of his thrusts.

You let out little strings of moans and pants as Jungkook continues to fill you up and make you feel good. You wrap your arms around Jungkook’s back, holding him close as he fucks into you. You tilt your head back and close your eyes at the pleasure. All you hear are Jungkook’s moans and the rain falling outside your window. At one moment, you wonder if it’s cold out, but then you realize it doesn’t matter. You’re warmer than anything else in Jungkook’s strong arms.

“J-Jungkook--” You feel the pleasure building, about to come.

“I know, baby.” Jungkook says, laying you down all the way again and holding you under his weight as he picks up his pace. Jungkook looks at you, watching your face tighten at every euphoric thrust. “Doing so well baby, almost there. Fuck, my pretty girl.” He showers you in praise and kisses, words falling from his mouth so fast you know he isn’t filtering any of his thoughts at the moment. You love that too, you love everything about him.

Finally, Jungkook’s hips begin to stutter, and he reaches down to rub your clit. You arch your back as you come, Jungkook filling you up shortly after. As you come down from your highs, Jungkook rolls over onto his side, still inside you. He spoons you, tugging the covers on top for a quiet moment.

You find it surprising since Jungkook is quite fussy about cleanliness, wanting to get you in the shower and to air out the room relatively soon after sex. But today he doesn’t even slip his cock out of you, choosing to be nestled deep inside you. It feels warm, but you like it.

“K-Kookie. Why aren’t we getting cleaned up?” You ask.

Jungkook smiles at your tone with his eyes closed. “If you want to get pregnant we have to keep the come inside, don’t we?” He says. You smack his arms which are wrapped around your waist, making him chuckle.

Jungkook cranes his head to make eye contact with you. You look at his sweaty bangs which Jungkook pushed back from his face near the end but fell back onto his forehead messily anyway. It’s the most beautiful sight you know. “Just kidding. I’m just tired today. We’ll shower after resting for a bit, unless you don’t like this.”

You realize now that Jungkook must truly be exhausted from work yesterday. You cup his face, stroking it quietly. “I don’t… hate it.” You admit.

Jungkook’s eyes darken. “Watch your words, pretty girl.” He warns you. “I only have so much self-control and your dad will beat my ass if I get you pregnant without putting a ring on it.”

“Do you really have to go and mention my dad right now?” You whine. “And anyway, no one can beat your ass. You’re 6 feet of solid muscle and have a sleeve tattoo, no one would try.”

Jungkook laughs. “Okay fair, no more mentioning my father-in-law from now on.” He says, making you groan in complaint again. Jungkook smiles fondly at you. “But you know I meant that, right? I want to marry you someday and have kids and all that. I don’t know when, since you and I are so busy, but maybe when things slow down we can. Okay?”

You snort. “Obviously, pretty!"

#bts smut #bts fics #bts x reader #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x oc #jungkook fic #jungkook fluff #jungkook smut

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diavolosthots · 3 years

Note

Hey dear! I hope that you have a good time! I want to make a request, but please delete it if you don't feel like doing it.

I saved that request in the notes and been waiting for you to open them 😊

For request

First fight with brother (any of your choice) and one of them (I mean MC or that brother) thinks that it's end of relationship (because never had anything serious), but they reconciled in the end. I want some heavy angst with happy ending. MC can be GN if that is OK.

If you don't mind you can do for Mammon, but feel free to choose another one if you don't feel like write for him. Or if that would be better to write as headcanons for all the brothers. That's up to you!

I haven't been doing requests for ages. Please don't hate me if there is something wrong! I've read the rules, and I hope I haven't missed anything.

Anyway, sorry for long ask. And thank you for your writings!

(I forgot to look if you did anything similar, and remembered it at the end of writing that ask. Sorry if you already did something like that!)

Hey babes ❤ I did end up doing HCs for all of them because I thought it would be cooler (or more like I know someone is gonna request separate fics for all of them if I dont and I'm saving myself that trouble lol) I still hope you like it ! ❤ also this got SUPER LONG so its under a cut

Warning: angst -> happy ending-ish

THE BROTHERS in a fight with MC and thinking that they’re over (yikes)

Lucifer:

Everyone always says Lucifer is quick to lose his cool but he’s honestly been nothing but patient with you. He may have hinted at several things he doesn’t condone and he definitely has that ‘look’, you know the disappointed dad look, but he has held back a lot so as to not ruin the beautiful relationship you have with him. Everyone snaps, though, and when he finally did, it was ugly. He did NOT call you names, but oh he didn’t. He went straight for your feelings and pointed out every mistake you ever made for as long as he’s known you. Ouch. In his defense, you weren’t nice either. The argument ended nasty and ‘I hate you’s!’ were definitely thrown around, but none of them were meant, right? Goodness, he doesn’t know. After you left, he threw himself on his bed, literally, and just stared at the ceiling. His anger slowly fled away and he began to feel… guilty. Not necessarily because of the argument itself, but because he delivered some low blows and he knows that. Are you over? Done with him? You haven’t texted or called or talked… you’ve been actively avoiding him and he doesn’t like that, but his pride is such an issue, goodness. He can’t straight up apologize, that dickhead, but he’s sending you flowers and standing in front of your door with a sad face that says it all.

“Forgive me? I made reservations at your favorite’s? We can talk over a nice dinner?”

Mammon:

Mammon is known to get mildly agitated over the silliest things, let’s be real. He’s also quick to revert to the “are you dumb?!” argument, which is never effective. But he loves you and he would do anything for you so even if you do do something that he deems ‘dumb’, he usually bites his tongue. Doesn’t mean that doesn’t get on his nerves, though, and he definitely has a short temper, although people tend to overlook that. You just managed to push his buttons today and he used the “are ya stupid?!” argument, to which you obviously defended yourself, and rightfully so. This ended in a massive screaming match and him saying “Then leave! Ain’t nobody keepin’ ya with me!” He regretted it the minute those words left his mouth and you could see his eyes grow wide in shock at his own words, but that didn’t mean you stayed. “MC!” he tried running after you immediately but you were faster and honestly, who can blame you? He fucked up, and he knows it, and he feels terrible about it. Honestly, he’s crying just at the mere thought of you taking his words seriously and he can’t… he can’t bear to lose you, you know? What’s he gonna do? You’re the light of his life, as pathetic as that may sound to some…. So he won’t let you run away. Homie will hunt you down and beg for forgiveness.

“Please, MC! Forgive me! I’m dumb, not you!!! Don’t leave me…” Don’t leave him. He will continue crying.

Leviathan:

His constant need to put himself down is frankly, quite annoying. To you anyway. But you put up with it and just reassure him that, at least to you, he’s the most amazing demon that ever existed. It’s just facts. But a person only has so much patience, right? You can’t always spend your days trying to lift him up when all he does is dig himself a bigger hole. Who has the emotional time for that? You sure don’t. “Oh my God, Levi! Shut up! I can’t take it anymore!” Followed by “See! You’re just like everyone else! Leaving me!” and then you slamming the door to his room shut. It’s frustrating and understandably so. It makes you feel awful that you can’t even make your own boyfriend feel good about himself and get at least a little bit of self confidence and it’s so, so, so very draining to have to constantly listen to that. At this point, it’s affecting your own mental health and you just… you just can’t…. But Levi can’t lose you because he knows you’re right. He has to work on himself if he wants to keep someone as amazing as you with him and that’s why he’s crawling back to you now.

“Look I… I know you’re right… I’m sorry. I promise I’ll … I’ll try. For you.”

Satan:

For being the Avatar of Wrath, you always admired Satan for his ability to keep cool. He prefers the relaxed and easy going life much more than the type of life people expect him to live, and you respect that. That doesn’t mean his constant need to one up Lucifer, through whatever means necessary, didn’t bother the hell out of you, though. You tried talking to him about it once or twice in a calm manner, but you always got the same answer “Pfft.. it’s Lucifer. Who cares?” And it never sat right with you. Just today he decided to pull a prank on the eldest and you had enough, standing in front of Lucifer and letting the bucket of cursed green slime land on you instead, to everyone’s shock. “What are you doing?!” Now that you’re thoroughly green from head to toe, you were also beyond pissed. “What am I doing?! What are YOU doing?!” But Satan matched your anger tenfold, accusing you of favoring Lucifer over him and oh! “You probably got an affair with him, too!” Which was a stupid thing on his part, but it looked like it the way you defended him. Anger doesn’t even begin to describe the emotion you felt running through you and had it not been for Lucifer, you probably would’ve physically fought Satan for such a dumb accusation. Lucifer took you to get cleaned up and lifted the course, giving you your natural skin and hair color back within a few days and plenty of scrubbing, and Satan felt like shit. You’ve always been there for him and, rationally speaking, he didn’t have a reason to doubt your loyalty to him, but he just can’t help but feel insecure beside Lucifer…. He decides to come apologize anyway, a deep blush on his face and guilt in his eyes

“I’m… sorry for accusing you. It wasn’t my right to speak out of anger and jealousy…”

Asmodeus:

How can anyone fight with the Avatar of Lust? Seriously, the guy is super easy going and he loves pretty much everyone. Not as much as himself, but almost. You on the other hand… you didn’t. Well you didn’t NOT love him or yourself, but you were just… you. You didn’t spend 4+ hours in the bathroom trying to get ready when you knew you were only going to the kitchen down the stairs. Like?? Although you never brought it up to Asmodeus, he constantly bothered you about skincare and what foods to eat and what not to eat, etc… It’s quite annoying, honestly, and at some point you just gave him a passive aggressive “Okay, whatever. Can we move on now?” To which he didn’t take lightly. He was still nice and sweet, trying to convince you that at least one of these things will make your skin glow brighter than a unicorn’s ass but you just had enough. “Can you stop?! You’re indirectly saying I’m ugly without that shit ton of product in my face and a diet that would make me starve before it helped me! If you want a skinny VS angel that barely holds onto their skeleton, get one!” It was more hurt and frustration speaking than anything, but your outburst still shocked him and he was taken aback for a moment. And then you ignored him for a week straight and as someone who thrives off of attention, especially the kind he gets from you, he can’t handle that! So he showed up in your room in sweats and a tshirt and messy hair and no product on his skin.

“You’re right… we’re all naturally beautiful…. Wow that… that really hurts to say MC but can you forgive me?”

Beelzebub:

Oh the sweet, sweet angel. He’s far from innocent and you know that. We all know that. But for this story, I will give him the benefit of the doubt. His reliance on Belphegor is just really… annoying. Belphegor this, Belphegor that. “Belphie used to…” or “Belphie said….” or “one day when Belphie and I….” Like why does everything have to include his twin? It’s so annoying and so rude when your significant other is right here !!! and planning their own future with you, Beel, thanks. It makes you feel less than and like Belphegor will always come before you. It makes you feel like shit, quite frankly, and who is to blame you? “Hey MC did I tell you what Belphie---!” “No! Shut up! I don’t care! It’s always about Belphie! The day you come to me and don’t let that name drip from your tongue is the day Jesus comes back to save me and we both know that will be never! I’m tired of always being stuck with Belphegor! We are not equals!” Granted, you shouldn’t have yelled and Beel was more than confused at your outburst, but you wouldn’t talk to him anymore after that so he left you alone. He thought you may need an hour or two, maybe a day tops, but that day turned into a full week and he even lost his appetite just because he knows you’re angry with him. It’s been a week, does that mean you’re over? His heart aches just at the thought…

“I’m sorry for bringing Belphie up… I don’t want you to feel less than, MC. You mean a lot to me and so does Belphie, but you’re not Belphie and I need to learn that…”

Belphegor:

Honestly it’s a miracle he hasn’t lost his temper at you yet. Well, he partially blames it on his own laziness because if being angry or getting upset didn’t take so much energy out of him, maybe he would’ve snapped by now lol, but he tries really hard not to because he thinks your relationship with him after everything is pretty good, considering yall kiss and snuggle and fuck on a regular basis. But anyway, that’s exactly the issue. Considering everything, you’re still holding *that* against him. It’s never direct either, which makes it worse. It’s always said in a joking manner and something like “haha look it’s just like that one time you killed me” or “Beel’s grabbing that ham like you grabbed my throat” or “I remember seeing jesus for a moment there” and it agitates him. It makes him so angry, and he finally snapped. “I know I fucked up MC! Stop holding it against me! What do you want? A medal of honor? A survivor's certificate? Maybe a pat on the back for developing some sort of Stockholm syndrome that made you come back to your abuser?!” And then he left. And you may have cried both from confusion and your own anger, he isn’t quite sure. It’s just so…. Aggravating. He can’t deal with it. He knows it was a mistake spurted by his own insecurities and survivor’s guilt which ultimately led to his hatred but please, stop holding it against him.. He can’t keep putting up with it from the person he’s grown to love. He’s the one ignoring you and he won’t budge either because he’s a stubborn ass, but maybe if you come up first…

“I’m sorry for yelling at you… I’m just so tired for it being held against me… I love you, and you should know that, and I do feel guilty about what happened.”

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me scenarios #cheys headcanons #asmodeus obey me #belphegor obey me #mammon obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me beelzebub #tw angst

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