#I draw her constantly and yet I still find myself thinking ‘damn I don’t draw her enough :(‘

[sunfloowerlatte-art]

gideons

#I draw her constantly and yet I still find myself thinking ‘damn I don’t draw her enough :(‘ #gideon the ninth #the locked tomb #tlt fanart #tlt #the locked tomb fanart #gideon nav #nona the ninth

[captnjacksparrow]

SNS Dynamics - Sasuke's Perspective

Lengthy post ahead

On completing my rewatch of Naruto part I and part II, many things which never made sense started to make sense. One among them is the relationship between Naruto and Sasuke. I used to ask why Naruto is going so far for Sasuke. And why Sasuke is helping out Naruto even though he wants to kill him. And I used to think that Episode 478 was retconned to make the final battle ends in a draw and Sasuke somehow made to reconcile with the titular character. Yet, I instinctively felt, ‘Something is very different about them’. But on careful rewatch, all the clues which consolidate their relationship was there. The way they love each other is totally on a different level and the creator very carefully planned this from the beginning of the Manga.

Though I really don’t like the ending for making every characters into a child rearing machine at an age of 20 to make way for an abomination called ‘Boruto’, I still loved everything till Episode 479.

I wanted to discuss about both Naruto and Sasuke's perspective. But that cannot be accommodated in a single post. So, I decided to start with Sasuke. Since Naruto's side of SNS is very open and vocal, we clearly knew what is going on in his mind. But Sasuke's side is usually very subtle but much more intense than Naruto which makes it worth analyzing.

Before getting to that, for most of the characters in the Naruto universe (I mean 99%), Sasuke is a person who looks cool, aloof, rude, overbearing, blunt, genius and emotionless. And that’s the truth. Except for Itachi and Naruto. So when I say he is rude or arrogant, it is from the people’s POV.  And since I always see myself in Itachi, I see Sasuke as that adorable innocent child who is very honest but forgiving.

I strongly feel that Sasuke has some innocent enchantment towards Naruto ever since he lost his family which later transcended into a bond which cannot be put under Friendship or Bromance. Enchantment, here I meant by, is not in a sexual way but more like the unconscious need to be in the presence of other person. Like walking beside each other eternally. Or even warming up next to a campfire near a chilly beach. You don’t want to fall into the fire but just enjoy the warmth. It maybe totally a platonic love like many claims to be. But his absolute disinterest in any other characters (even just as a friend) and the following traits he shows only to Naruto are clearly not just distinctive of platonic love either. It’s completely beyond platonic.

The following are the traits which Sasuke shows only towards Naruto, could have been avoided or delegated to other characters if the creator really wanted to assert their relationship as just friendship. There are lot of subtexts and emotions which I cannot accept it under the guise of bromance or friendship. It’s just not possible. If someone you like shows all these traits to another person, you should stop thinking about that person and move on.

The traits are :

Preferential Treatment

Attentive

Protective

My body moved on its own

One and Only

Powerful Eyes

Unconscious Closeness

Preferential Treatment

This is the very basic and first thing you show to someone whom you love. Meaning, I will treat this person much different from everyone else. When I was exploring this trait, I couldn’t stop laughing in many places. Because Sasuke is such a trolling machine who mercilessly trolls people who are in his way. He also inspire certain amount of fear which makes him even more unapproachable.

He has this cold bearing where people find it extremely difficult to manage or approach him. It comes off as very rude most of the times. One such example is Sai told Sasuke that he will get along better with him than Naruto. Sasuke put a Genjutsu on him for comparing himself with Naruto. LOL.

What's more funny is most people (Sakura, Orochimaru, Kabuto, Sai, Hinata) usually talk to him politely with honorifics like 'Sasuke-kun'. But he didn't give two shits about them and shitted them all mercilessly.

Here is the infamous proposal from Sakura in part 1.

Well she deserved this one to be honest. Throughout the entire conversation Sasuke never saw her face and responded very bluntly even though she was pouring her heart out crying. There was no visible distress or sadness from Sasuke’s side.

Whereas with Naruto, in the final Valley of The End, we saw him turning towards Naruto and answer him properly when Naruto asked the same question of what Sakura asked. There were so many emotions throughout the battle and Sasuke’s pain of leaving Naruto was clearly shown. Which explains the difference of where Sasuke keeps Naruto in his heart.

The following is the one from Chunin Exams prelims where Sakura is begging for him to quit with tears. The response is an usual 'Stay out of my business'.

Me: Sasuke!!!! Even I don't know how to approach you!!!! I understand you don't like to talk unnecessarily so you just shitted on Sai. But Sakura is your teammate, isn't it?

And then there is this little orange blonde who literally trolls Sasuke.

I really thot Sasuke was going to trash Naruto too, like he could have easily said, 'Naruto, you should also stay out of my business'.

But then

These words are something precious for Naruto. He wished for these words to come from Sasuke someday in his lifetime. But not at that time. And he was truly shocked and very excited. Believe me, when watching that scene, it was really great. But while making analysis like this, it’s absolutely hilarious.

This dynamics is similar to

Sakura: *cries unbearably* Sasuke-kun, I am worried about you. Don’t act so strong.

Sasuke: Shut up. Mind your own business.

Naruto: Bastard! She is worried about you.

Sasuke: Alright, I love you. Now shut up.

ROOOFFFFL :-D

I thought all these childhood bickers were over by part 1 and we will never see it in part 2.

Nope. I was wrong. Kakashi and Sakura were the scapegoats here.

Here's another round of applause from Naruto.

And I honestly cannot comprehend what was going on in Sasuke's mind and why he is really rude to Sakura and Kakashi. It seems he was really irritated by their presence or he maybe thinking they were useless or both.

When Naruto asks him something, he responds without any insults. What baffles me most is that during Infinite Tsukuyomi, Sasuke wanted to kill Naruto for his Revolution and awaiting his fated battle. And yet he answers him properly.

Can you see the pattern here?

He shits on people asking some question even with an utmost polite attitude but when Naruto asks the same question he was like "Alright Sweetie, Am gonna answer anything you want and say anything you like".

The following is the beginning of everything where Naruto can't even swear properly but still Sasuke couldn't even bother.

In short, the way he treats Naruto is quite different and hilarious when compared to the others. With his cold bearing, he absolutely has no need to put up with Naruto's outburst but he still accepts without a care every time. RIP to those souls who got the short end of the stick.

He must have an extreme tolerance towards Naruto's tirades to the point where he can never insult him back. And I also believe 100% that, nobody dares to make such frequent insults on Sasuke to his face except Naruto.

I know SK shippers jump in here to say Naruto is not the only one. But still the dynamics between Karin and Sasuke is simply a mirror image of Naruto and Sasuke, probably she reminded him of Naruto and hence made some exceptions for her because Sasuke never gives a damn about any other clan other than his own, but when Kabuto tells him Karin belongs to Uzumaki clan, he was shocked. I am pretty sure the only other Uzumaki member he knew is none other than Naruto.

Now, does this means he is in super love with Naruto? No.

But the way he treats every other characters and how he treats Naruto exclusively speaks volumes and this trope shouldn’t have existed in the first place. The creator should have made Sasuke treat both of his teammates equally which could’ve deflected the shipping angle. 

Attentive

Am not talking about how attentively he analyzes his enemies in the battles. Of course, in that department, Sasuke flies high. This is about how attentive he is to Naruto to the point where he can deduce what Naruto thinks and how Naruto looks without the need to communicate with him.

I know Sasuke suspected Sakura was acting strange before Chunin Exams when she said 'Good Morning' with some hesitation. But the difference here is that Sasuke can identify Naruto without even talking to him.

Funny thing here is that Sasuke was sitting somewhere far behind from Naruto and yet he could pick up Naruto getting freaked out without seeing his face.

Who could forget about the famous ‘Where’s real Naruto?’ episode during Chunin Exams?. It would’ve been fine if this happened once. But the creator went ahead and made this thing happen twice under entirely different situations. And everytime Sasuke can find fake Naruto without fail. This scene conveys Sasuke is very observant towards Naruto’s appearance & fighting skills (the way he evades an attack).

Now, being attentive to someone is not a special thing which attributes to love. But considering Sasuke’s personality who is aloof and focused on his own world, knowing Naruto like the back of his hand  is way too descriptive. Only someone who really understands the other person or constantly paying attention can find out such subtle changes. It doesn’t end here.

This is the battle between Gaara and Naruto. Where Naruto was literally confused about how to save his friends from Gaara who is much more powerful. And yet Sasuke can find Naruto’s mood just by seeing him.

Me: Yes, Sasuke!!! Gaara happened to pass by Naruto and forgot to kill him on a whim!!! So, Naruto is scared to the shit!!

Also Me: You guys always bicker with each other and are not best of friends. Sasuke!!! How could you analyze his mood just by looking at Naruto????

In Shippuden, There’s no inner monologue like the above, but whenever Naruto appears before him (Orochimaru’s hideout, Bridge, War arc), Sasuke gives his undivided attention to him. He even went so far as to advice him to pay attention to the battle. And I was like “Wait!!! you wanted to kill him... why pay attention to him at all? Geez”.

As much as you want to think that Sasuke doesn’t care about anyone, he does care about Naruto to the point where he doesn’t want him to be worried. How thoughtful just for a ‘teammate’.

How did Sasuke knew that Naruto would worry about him?, I wonder.

But all these things started from this

This boy has been noticing Naruto from way back when he was around 7 when he lost his family. Of course he would know every little things about Naruto because for some undefinable reason he couldn’t stop paying his attention to Naruto. A lineup of girls vying for his attention because of his cool appearance, whereas Sasuke simply loved Naruto without any reservations but because of his childish and warm personality which reminded him of his family.

‘I couldn’t stop paying attention to you’  and in some translations the words were ‘I couldn’t take my eyes off you’. Either way, these words are not for someone you see just as a friend let alone a brother.

Protectiveness

I can go on and on about how protective Sasuke is towards Naruto. I can write a separate post about it. This is the most important aspects of this ship which makes it sail higher than any other ships.

Of course, this is the Ninja world where people wants to protect each other and at the same time kill each other too. Sasuke protecting Naruto and Naruto protecting Sasuke is not too special. In fact, one of the weak and pathetic character like Sakura was saved once in every three episodes by Naruto or Kakashi or even by Sasuke sometimes.

And yet here I am mentioning protectiveness as the most important aspect of this ship. So what differentiates?

The way Sasuke protects Naruto is one of the intense thing I’ve ever seen. When I watch this series, I gained this immense ability to put myself in other characters mind just like Naruto. When I put myself in Sasuke’s mind whenever he tried to protect Naruto under different conditions, I simply cannot put their relationship under Friendship.

Here, Naruto is fighting Gaara in part 1 and Naruto was repelled by his own attack from the paper bomb. Sasuke being already battered by his curse mark bruise and he couldn’t move an inch. And yet he is shielding Naruto even though it is completely unnecessary because Naruto bumping into a tree log is completely normal. The creator even went under a lot of pain to draw that panel which took 40% of the page.

Now you may question, many characters even died protecting someone. What’s so special with just shielding?

Like Hinata jumping in for suicide before Pain, Iruka blocking Mizuki’s attack, Tsunade blocking Orochimaru, Neji dying as a ‘Love Cupid’ for hinata and Naruto.... I can cite many things here. What’s common among them all is that they were all perfectly capable of moving around and yet decided to save Naruto.

But that’s not the only point. 

Is there any need for him to save Naruto? No.

Will Naruto die if he didn’t shield him? No.

Then why? He could have spent that energy trying to do something for Sakura rather than do a pointless shielding. 

And then there is Kushina.

Naruto’s mom was already on the verge of dying as she had Kurama extracted from her body and Jinchuriki without a Tailed Beast will die. Because of Uzumaki clan’s strong life force, she could hold off for a bit longer. When kurama attacked Naruto, she shielded him with her body and saved her son from an imminent death.

Even though Sasuke didn’t die shielding him, but there is a semblance.

Both protected Naruto even when their body condition is worse. That is, Protect at all cost attitude.

I intended to put Land of the Waves arc here as it is very similar to what happens with Kushina. But that’s for an upcoming section.

Now, as a Mother her instinct to protect Naruto is very strong.

But who is Naruto for Sasuke? What makes his instinct so strong to protect someone who is not even related by his blood? Until and unless you love that person dearly you won’t do it.

That brings me to the next thing.

Yeah, it kind of looks ‘very friendly’ to give a 3 layered protection to someone who is already powered up like you and most importantly you want to kill him.(Can I say that looks really romantic?). Anyways my point is different.

What really happens here is this

It is a well established fact that Minato, the Yellow Flash is the fastest shinobi in Narutoverse. It wasn’t surpassed yet. He uses the Hiraishin No Jutsu to teleport at the speed of light. It was invented by none other than Tobirama Senju who is the fastest shinobi of his time.

We basically have two fastest shinobi in the battlefield here. And Minato being the fastest among them, definitely don’t want to blow up near his son for whom he died protecting him once. He wanted to teleport somewhere away and before he could do it, Tobirama teleported the bomb back to Obito.

What many fails to notice here is that all these things are happening in mere seconds. But Sasuke realized it real quick as usual and protects Naruto in an instant. How fast his instinct you may ask? Quicker than the two fastest shinobi on the battlefield and one among them is Naruto’s dad.

What I want to say is Sasuke’s protective instinct is quicker than Naruto’s father and similar to Naruto’s mother.

And you know, I questioned myself during the Chunin Exams arc “I think in the Zabuza arc, Naruto conveniently happened to be near Sasuke, So he protected him at the cost of his life. What if Sakura happens to be there? Would he have done the same? Maybe he would’ve died protecting her too.”

But all of my questions were thrown into drain by Sasuke as if he was able to read my mind. The answer is “Hell! I don’t care if she died. That’s her loss. I will not die for her sake.”

This is really confusing, hilarious and romantic at the same time.

Me: Sasuke!!! I understand why you want to save Jugo... Even though you abandoned him in the Land of Iron. LOL. What are you going to do with Naruto anyway when the whole world is blasted off?

He proved this again in the Kaguya’s Lava dimension too. Before you tell me that he saved Naruto because he needs him to seal off Kaguya, the previous scenario nullifies your argument.

And SS wankers shamelessly defending that Sasuke don’t want Sakura to die by Kaguya’s hands, that’s why he left her to die. Geez!!! Who the hell is Sakura to Kaguya anyway? Even if she were to die by Kaguya’s hands, it would almost look like how Obito died. It’s not bad at all. But falling into the lava pit, burning, screaming.... sssshhhh. Wake the f**k up!!!

Now how can you convince me that this is just Friendship? What’s more funny is Sasuke wanted to kill Naruto later at some point. Throughout the War Arc I was always confused as to why Sasuke even care about Naruto at all? He didn’t care about him ever since he left him 3 or 4 years ago and he doesn’t have to. After all everyone have their own paths to walk on.

Even if I put myself in Sasuke’s mind and see Naruto just as a friend whom I want to kill, I wouldn’t go under so much pain to save him. I would feel like it’s better for him to die by something else rather than me. Because I can’t bring myself to kill someone I know well.

These scenes are not just put there by chance.

Such a strong reflex to protect someone is only possible when you consider that person’s life more than yours.

Does any other ship has such things to show? I’ll wait.

Yeah Sasuke protected Sakura from Orochimaru and Gaara. But he also went so far to wait for Karin and awakened a new power to protect her. So does this means he love those girls?? No. He was just showing a team camaraderie. But it’s funny that later, he tried to kill those girls knowing full well they are unprepared to fight him. While with Naruto, it always comes with a warning. Try to understand this difference. Which is exactly why I didn’t put Sasuke saving Naruto during his Chakra training, or falling from the waterfall and many more. Because they are just a team camaraderie.

I don’t even have to compare with other ships, did Sasuke ever protected anyone like this in the whole series?. These are the things which could’ve been avoided or handled in a different way, like there was no need to emphasize on saving Naruto alone while ignoring others.

My body moved on its own

I don’t need to explain this any deeper. There are many people who says Sasuke is incapable of showing his true feelings. He is cold, rude, aloof and stoic so he always hides his feelings for everyone (mostly this line was used by Sakura wankers who wanted to portray that Sasuke always loved Sakura deeply but never shows). But they fail to understand the irony that one of the most beautiful line in this entire series was told by none other than ‘Sasuke Uchiha’, “My body moved on its own”.

Yet I find Sasuke shows his honest and heartful emotions before the people he loves. If he can show that to Itachi and Naruto, why not with Sakura?

I know those wankers try to say Sasuke repressed all his feelings until Chapter 698, so he has some romantic feelings for Sakura too. Bullshit!!!

Even though he repressed those feelings in his mind, his body always betrays him in the end and his feelings pours out from time to time. That is what this section explores about.

Man, this is the most painful GIF I have ever made.

In his battle with Itachi, he was completely consumed by the feeling of revenge and hatred for his brother. But when Itachi approached him in his final moments with an intention (seemingly) to snatch his eyes, he still couldn't push Itachi away though he could have. Sasuke just looked into his eyes and let him do whatever he was about to do.

Why?, Because he loved his brother so much once that he don't know what to do but simply embrace that moment. These are the moments your mind says to close your eyes or even run away (he totally could have) but his body will not allow him to.

This is what I meant by your body betrays yourself. Even in your darkest moments, you cannot fake. You always show your true emotions towards the person you love. The more you suppress, the more it will burst out.

Here Sasuke’s hatred is glaring through his eyes because Sakura is persuading him to not do something he wants to (as always). His only motivation is to kill that man. His resolve is a real deal.

But in a matter of minutes after giving that long hateful speech with some heavy determination, when he saw that hungry blonde boy who was tied up for trying to steal food, Sasuke just acted on his own and served him food even though he was told not to which could jeopardize his career.

This bipolar dance is something to notice throughout the series and is always interesting to explore. When Sakura tries to dissuade Sasuke from something, he always retorts to insults or an angry stare. But when Naruto accidentally stands in Sasuke’s way, he always involuntarily helps him out.

In short, towards Sakura he was like “Even you cannot take that path away from me” but when turning towards Naruto, he was like “Well, I can risk everything for you at the cost of my path”.

This seals the real deal for SNS ship.

At this point, for us viewers, Naruto is just an orphan who has no friends but always carries his life with a positive spirit hoping that someday he will be accepted by everyone.

Unbeknownst the fact that he already has one person who was willing to die for him and putting all his dreams into fire.

Important thing to notice, It’s entirely at Naruto’s fault for them being in this situation. If Naruto had used a bit of brain to attack from outside the mirror, they wouldn’t have been in this situation. But still Sasuke plunged into the trap without any regrets. That’s the beauty of this scene.

What’s more thrilling is that the creator told us Sasuke loved Naruto in the very next chapter itself. 

How?

By making Haku jump before Zabuza knowing full well that he is going to die which is not very different from how Sasuke shielded Naruto.

And not only that, but by making Naruto say “He really loved you”. I got to say the creator may sucks at writing Sakura and Hinata for God only knows for whatever twisted reasons. But when it comes to male characters like Naruto, Sasuke, Itachi, Obito... he was just amazing and on another level.

How?

By indirectly drawing parallels between Sasuke and Haku in a matter of successive chapters.

By dropping indirect hints and crumbs like these to tell us, the audience, the motivations of the characters.

I always had the thought why did he risked his life for a boy who always fights with him? This became more emotional when we get to know the real reason for why Sasuke risked his life much later in chapter 698.

Having faced all the turbulent things in his life, somehow seeing Naruto doing all those childish stuffs made him feel relieved. That warmth was what he needed at that time. He wanted to escape from it but couldn’t. That’s why he embraced his warmth unknowingly in his Team 7 days by constantly reaching out to him starting from asking tips, concerned about having breakfast and training with him to climb the tree.

Sasuke even come to like Naruto more than himself and that’s why he was willing to die for him.

This feeling is definitely not a bromance or friendship. It’s an innocent enchantment you hope to last forever. Which again explains why he tolerated Naruto’s insults and hostility all those times. Because Sasuke knew those childish things were the ones he got attracted to him ever since his childhood. Rather than saying tolerated, I should use the term enjoyed. He really enjoyed those moments being bugged by Naruto for no reason.

Because just like Itachi said to Sasuke once, ‘If you are excellent you become alienated and arrogant even though you were sought after at the beginning’ . But Naruto pestering him means he is very curious about Sasuke which no one else tried. He was adored by those girls for his coolness and revered by those boys for his excellence but nobody really tried to befriend him. But Naruto tried to befriend him through Rivalry. That’s why Sasuke unconsciously started to like him. This also explains why he roasted Sakura for badmouthing him even though Naruto attacked him and tied him up earlier.

If Sasuke can show all these feelings even though he was trying to suppress it towards Naruto and Itachi, Why can’t he show a single normal feeling towards Sakura??? Because there isn’t one. Except for an old Team 7 camaraderie where he saw her as an acquaintance and nothing more.

Many NH shippers claims, but Hinata loved her ‘Naruto-Kun’. She jumped in front of Naruto to save him from Pain, when in reality she just acted selfishly and couldn’t pull out the Chakra rods. Meaning she failed whatever she was about to do.

Another interesting thing to cite for NH shippers, they claim for Naruto, Hinata is the most important person his life. Since when? With that shitty movie called ‘The Last’ with shitty retconned stuff? In all the 699 chapters he always claimed Iruka Sensei and Sasuke were the important people in his life. And you know what? For Hinata to like Naruto, he has to jump in to save her from the bullies. But for Sasuke he just saved Naruto without any validation. He saw Naruto and liked his presence and just did it. 

When you could accept that failed attempt as a love, why not accept Sasuke loves Naruto when in fact he succeeded in saving him and that too unconditionally?

This is one of the tropes which should have been avoided if the creator wanted Sasuke and Naruto to be just friends.

One and Only

This is something very special that is offered to that one person in his life. That is Naruto. Even Itachi knew it. That is the Power to influence Sasuke’s heart. This is the fact even Sasuke himself knew it and that’s why he wanted to kill him.

Now don’t compare this with the manipulation shit which Orochimaru and Obito were doing. It’s not that. Many Sasuke fanatics always blame Naruto that he is also manipulating Sasuke just like everyone. That’s totally wrong.

Manipulation is something you do by talking about some twisted facts and make the other person to do what you want to.

Naruto never did that. Ever. Whenever Naruto and Sasuke meet, they always talk about themselves and how they feel. Not the world, not Team 7 or anything. Which is exactly why Sasuke himself willingly left that space in his heart for Naruto when he left him in the Valley of the End which he badly wanted to destroy. Sasuke, of all people, know Naruto is also very honest.

Sasuke lost all his rationality when he went into darkness by stabbing Karin who was helping him in his battle with Danzo. She even replenished his chakra many times. He not only just stabbed her, after when he found her still alive, he decided to finish her off with his Chidori.

And then the pink haired bitch appears before him and started to concoct lies with malicious intent to kill him. This provoked Sasuke more and more to reach this point.

Believe me, when you are lost in darkness, all you need is a small light which can show you a path. Someone who can extend helping hands to lift you up with honesty.

Sakura, being a crass woman, riled up Sasuke further with full of nonsense.

If you want to picture the darkness,

This is exactly how Sasuke feels. He is in so much pain and don’t know how to face it or deal with it. So he started to destroy everything he sees. For him Karin, Sakura, Kakashi are all just some pebbles in his way and want to trample them as he goes. His entire life has become farce after knowing his beloved brother’s real pain and miseries. Now he has no one left from his family.

Until Naruto appears.

He may not be his family, but he is the only person left for him in this world. Which is established in many Naruto endings and even Sasuke himself accepts this with Sage of Six Paths. 

But my Cherry Blossom queen really loved Sasuke, she only wanted the good of him. My question is ‘Then why the fuck she tried to kill him? She looked at Sasuke and find that he changed. She didn’t even bothered to find out what’s going on from his side.’ Then how is this considered as wanting only good for him? 

Surprisingly Sasuke calmed down a bit, the moment Naruto appears and even started to respond to him which he didn’t before with Kakashi and Sakura. Deep down Sasuke himself knew in his heart that the path he is going through is Self-destructive. Just like Kurama tells Naruto ‘Destroy everything you see’ in the Pain arc when he sprouted upto Eighth Tail, Sasuke’s traumatic mind tells him to ‘Destroy Konoha’.

All he needed was someone to extend an helping hand to tell him what to do without any malice. Naruto did that. Just like what Minato did for Naruto in Pain arc.

After clashing Rasengan with Chidori ,they meet inside the White bubble space and Naruto talks to Sasuke which evoked all his past memories which he never wanted to awaken.

That’s why Sasuke was visibly shaken with Naruto’s words. Because those were the words which mirrors exactly how Sasuke feels too. He was surprised and shocked that Naruto also felt the same way without him ever openly confessing those feelings.

When everyone tried to kill him for his monstrosity, Naruto is the only person standing there seeing him as his friend. Just like how Iruka saw Naruto way back in 1st chapter.

Believe me, even at the depth of darkness, when you see the person you love so much, you will stop and rationalize.

That is exactly why Itachi left Sasuke in Naruto’s hands. He even admitted to Sasuke that his words will not reach him no matter what.

Sasuke may not have abandoned his ambitions at that point. But Naruto gave him a clear path. That is ‘Show all your hatred on me’ and then do whatever you want.

I know SS shippers will claim that back hug from Sakura changed his murderous behaviour during the Chunin Exams. Yes. That’s true. But right after that, when Sasuke was fighting Yoroi in a one-on-one combat, his Cursed Seal flares up again. He retracted that seal out of his sheer will and thought about both Sakura and Naruto who was freaking out without even knowing about the seal. So, it’s not only a Sakura exclusive moment. The creator even went ahead and drawn a panel asking Sakura to not say anything about the Curse Mark to Naruto. Why do that?

As far as I understand, Sasuke saw Naruto and felt the warmth of his family. He singled that out in chapter 698. When Naruto was placed in the same team as him, he started to extend his good side to his other team members as well. But the moment he decided to leave the village, he severed the ties with Sakura (was there ever one apart from considering her as a teammate?) by saying Thank You. Meaning, you helped me many times so thanks for all of that. What’s more pitiful is, he didn’t even look at her face for the entire conversation except for saying ‘You are really annoying’. There is nowhere in the manga where Sasuke singled out Sakura for making him feel anything and did something for her exclusively. It’s all in the context of Team 7.

If Sakura is the most important person in Sasuke’s life, he should have stopped the rampage the moment he saw her but instead he got riled up more and more. Which explains where Sasuke kept her in his heart. Literally nowhere. He threw her into the trash. LOL.

If Hulk can calm down after seeing Betty Ross and you call that love, why not accept Sasuke loves Naruto??

Powerful Eyes

You know, Even in real life, Our eyes always reflects our true feelings, just like how your body betrays your mind , your eyes even betray your body.

Just like how Itachi could never fake his evil brother act in his final moments.

Just like how Sasuke couldn’t turn away from Itachi when he was approaching him to seemingly snatch his eyes.

Uchiha boys being a romantic bunch, always expose their awakening/ reawakening/ evolving their Sharingan in a most distressed situation. Just like Madara and Sasuke exposed their brimming eyes for Hashirama and Naruto. But in this department, Madara is wildly romantic as always. LOL. Despite losing 3 brothers, he awakened his Sharingan only when he was breaking up with his ‘friend’. And Sasuke, he reawakened / evolved Sharingan when trying to save / breaking up with his ‘friend’. Such a Biological defect!!!!

Poor Sakura pathetically fails in this department.

Anyways this part is not about Sharingan anyway. It’s about how such a powerful eyes becomes powerless before those Blue Eyes.

Eye Symbolism is something I really enjoy exploring in this ship.

Like I mentioned earlier, Sasuke has never shown his emotions atleast starting from Part II. He usually never shows any positive emotions like happiness, laughing, pouting, love, excitement (although he has shown all these towards Itachi and Naruto) and is known for negative emotions like anger, annoyance, hatred.

Look at how Sasuke is glaring with hatred for her insensitive words. She deserved this to be honest.

Now, is there any need to show your fury towards Kabuto?

Since the beginning of the Shippuden, some facts have been established strongly:

1. Sasuke has changed by leaps and bounds in terms of his attitude and hatred.

2. Sharingan is pretty dangerous. Many characters including kurama acknowledges it. Sasuke is very adept at using his Sharingan.

Orochimaru maybe right. But he doesn’t know the weakness. LOL

His hatred has reached to a point where he couldn’t think anything rationally and started to kill everyone, just like how Naruto kicked Sakura in his 4 Tailed Kyuubi Mode engulfed with the hatred of Kurama. Meaning, to reach his goal, Sasuke will kill anyone in his path without any hesitation. This shot is the representation of this.

And yet when he saw those particular Blue eyes, he stops his rampage immediately and visibly shocked even.  That’s the look of ‘why is that blue eyes here?’

You have every right to accuse me that I am over exaggerating this scene. I am not. Even I wanted to think that way too that I am deluding myself. The creator has only consolidated my view pretty strongly.

There’s no need to emphasize on eyes at all. The anime team has went under so much pain to animate this scene in a satisfying and compelling way.

What’s more? The creator even went under further extent to draw a whole page in the manga focusing on their eye contact after the Rasengan vs Chidori clash. Meaning, Sasuke has calmed down visibly and became very easy to reason with.

Trust me, even in your darker / vulnerable moments, your eyes will reflect your true feelings to the person you love. You cannot be stubborn. 

Now did it stop here?? Nope, it happened again in the Final Valley of the End battle too.

Sasuke is usually confident of his Sharingan (rightfully so) and likes to flaunt his eyes just like Madara. He was very sure that he was going to win.

While Sasuke had a clear resolve to kill Naruto when he was showing his back, but the moment he comes close with those Blue Eyes, his heart even pounded strongly (in the anime), and lost the resolve completely which made his Sharingan retract itself unconsciously. Meaning, his eyes betrayed him.

It’s funny that not even a minute ago he was very proud of his Visual Prowess as an Uchiha and his victory is inevitable but the moment he saw those Blue eyes, he just lost. You think I am again exaggerating?. Nope!!!

Oh Dear!!! This doesn’t get more romantic than this. An inescapable gaze from those blue eyes he loved all along.

Sasuke!! What happened to your proud Uchiha eyes?. You just stole Chakra from Naruto, isn’t it? Hints like these are really heartwarming, to be honest.

My entire point is, every character from every arc hypes up Sharingan starting from Zabuza, Haku, Rock Lee, Orochimaru, Kabuto, Kurama and many more, but why put a weakness for Naruto’s eyes? 

What I really loved exploring is the way Sasuke totally expressed everything through his eyes in Episode 478.

Sasuke shows his vulnerability towards Naruto with just his eyes. These are not something you show to everyone. Even when Itachi departed finally after releasing Edo Tensei, Sasuke looked sad, shocked and pained but didn’t cry. He accepted the reality of it. The last time when we saw him crying, it was after knowing the truth of Itachi, facing towards the beach and was weeping unbearably because there was no one else for him in this world. But this time, he is next to the person whom he feels truly loved and he doesn’t mind showing it with his eyes.

Well, on multiple rewatches, the clues for their love was already dropped in the 1st Valley of the End fight itself. Sasuke already lost his resolve to kill by balling his chidori fist rather than ramming through his chest. So the feelings inside the bubble are their honest emotions like always.

The pain on the verge of their separation inside the white bubble is clearly evident from their eyes even in their monstrous form. Even in the manga it was mentioned that ‘I can’t turn my back  Vs  I am not letting you go’

But what they really wanted to be from their childhood was this.

Look at Sasuke, how entranced he was on looking at that innocent boy. Now put yourself at Sasuke’s mind. Will you ever look at your friend like that??? Now, they are probably just 7 here, am not romanticizing. But Sasuke looks enthralled innocently.

But somehow, their paths separated them for who knows how long. But the pain in both their eyes is unbearable. Even the databook, mentioned that separating from Naruto is like ripping half of his body. Well, this proves it.

Now, if they really wanted to portray this as friendship, they never should have given Eye symbolism at all. They should have gone with ‘I was always jealous of you’ thing, like they portrayed in that filler episode 450.I would’ve gladly accepted it as friendship. Because that’s how friends behave when they are jealous and I wasn’t feeling any romance at all. There’s no need of that lengthy monologue on how he was always looking at Naruto and felt pain.

I am telling you, I won’t be looking at my friend like this. 

Unconscious closeness

Remember, I’ve written in the beginning of the post that Sasuke enjoys the warmth from Naruto. Meaning, he likes that person’s presence unconsciously and want to be near him. Sasuke proved this many times.

This is the most intense and confusing section I have to dissect for this post. But it’s the most entertaining nonetheless, atleast for me.

Starting from the Land of the Waves arc, here Sasuke is speed walking to match up with Naruto.

Initially I thought, he is trying to be competitive. But instead of walking ahead of Naruto to show who is faster, he just walks beside him. I find this really hilarious and adorable. This just shows Sasuke likes Naruto’s presence so much so that he wants to walk beside him.

Now many SS shippers tries to make this scene for themselves, when it is clearly not.

If you notice Sasuke in the Bell Training, he compares his strength difference with Kakashi and determines to get stronger. Same with Might Guy, he compares Might Guy’s speed with his own Sensei. Meaning, he respects people with strength. Naturally, he should’ve asked her and Sakura would have given him tips wholeheartedly. Because she really succeeded in that training.

Why bother to ask a deadlast?

The only reason I could find is that he wants to befriend him in his own stubborn way. But Poor Soul!!! He didn’t get the tips anyway. LOL. But despite getting the short end of the stick, he never hold it against him. Just like he never held anything against Naruto when he tied him up in Episode 3. All he did was just flaunt how he escaped.

Pretty cool for a 12 year old kid. Because If I were Sasuke, I would hold it for sure.

Once again Sasuke proves how he can care Naruto in his own adorable way.

He could’ve said ‘I am going to train too” if he really intended to train. There is no need to say ‘Going for a Walk’ and ask Naruto about breakfast. This explains that Sasuke simply missed the boy’s prolonged absence and reached out to him in his own cute way.

Now all these doesn’t mean he was in love with him. It’s just a childish attraction which makes him act like that involuntarily.

I just added this GIF to compare with the next scene.

Now Shikamaru falling on Naruto in an unconventional way doesn’t look anywhere romantic. Instead it’s the opposite. They are pretty friendly here.

But Sasuke’s approach to Naruto does looks undeniably sensual and I couldn’t deny the sexual tension that brings with it. (Even when I watched it for the first time having no idea of shipping anyone, I lowkey got creeped and thought, ‘Sasuke!! What have you become? ’)

This scene is something even I can’t dissect. Because honestly I don’t know. Sasuke is a person who never appreciates physical touches nor does he initiates either.

I get this crazy femme fatale vibe when seeing Sasuke with his sexy costume landing at a speed of lightning with his hands wrapped around Naruto and taunting near his ear about what was he doing there? The only reason I could think of is that maybe he missed him for 3 years which made him go unconsciously so close near Naruto. It’s also funny that he could’ve shoved his sword into Naruto’s heart before landing and no one could’ve batted an eyelid.

Damn you, Kishimoto!!! Is this scene absolutely necessary??? What are you trying to convey? Why do you give Sasuke, a sexualized aura?? I understand you love this character so much and you want this character to be desirable among women. Yeah, you succeeded by making Karin behave like a woman in heat, the moment they met. But instead of letting her get close to him, you made Sasuke to say ‘You... Don’t get so close’ whereas with Naruto, you made Sasuke to go willingly touch him in a half hugging stance. Geez!!!

Here comes the most interesting part in this section.

It may seem irrelevant at the beginning but trust me, it will make sense later.

Before that, I would like to appreciate the creator and especially the anime team to bring the battle sequence so lively and different in its own way. If you notice the purpose of every battle that happened in Naruto series, each carries it own meaning and deliberately distinguished. How you ask?

The fight between Deidara vs Sasuke.

Logically Deidara should be dead in the Gaara retrieval arc itself. There is no point for him to chase Sasuke who killed Orochimaru to whom Deidara had nothing to do with. It didn’t impact the story in any way. But the purpose of that battle is to show how far Sasuke has grown up in those 3 years. The way he can use his Sharingan to analyze his enemies abilities and weakness so quickly and take multiple steps ahead, the way he can use Genjutsu and other incredible jutsus in his arsenal were a visual treat.

Now, let’s analyze Sasuke’s arsenal of Jutsus. He can do Teleportation Jutsu, a decent Genjutsu, Chidori Senbon (needles), Raikiri (Chidori sword which ranges to 5 metres), Chidori Nagash (Chidori from his whole body), Transformation Jutsu, Substitution Jutsu Shuriken Jutsu with wire works, Kirin, Gokakyu No jutsu, Sword fighting, basic Hand-to-Hand fighting (I’ve never seen him do it ever since the Chunin Exams with Orochimaru), Archery fighting, Susanoo, Amaterasu and all the Rinnegan abilities.

Based on the jutsus he learned so far and how he applies in every battle, it all confirms two things:

Sasuke is a Medium-Long Range Shinobi

Sasuke’s battles are usually based on his Cleverness

Let’s go for Naruto. He can do Teleportation Jutsu, Sexy Jutsu, Harem no jutsu, Rasengan, Rasen Shuriken, Oodama Rasengan, Biju Dama, Tailed Beast Mode, Kage Bunshin No jutsu, Sage mode jutsu, Frog Kumite, Better Hand-to-Hand combat skills (better than Sasuke), Transformation Jutsu, Substitution Jutsu and all his Six path abilities.

Compared to Sasuke, Naruto’s jutsu variety is very less. But for every 4 punches from Sasuke equals 1 powerful punch from Naruto. Analyzing all of them,

Naruto is a Close-Range Shinobi except for his Rasen Shuriken

Naruto’s battles are usually based on his Jutsu Timing and Unpredictability

Now, Let’s rewind back to 3 years and look at the 1st Valley of the End battle. That battle was cleverly choreographed which carried very intense emotional baggage. Things we never knew about those boys until then were openly admitted and acknowledged. That is, for Sasuke, Naruto became his closest friend. For Naruto, he always wanted to be Sasuke’s friend way back when he was 6 or 7. For both, they already have some unexplainable bond by just looking at each other and smiling secretly.

The theme of that battle started as Am going on my own path vs I can’t allow you to tread on that dangerous path and ended up with I want to break our bond vs I don’t want to.

Now, this posture represents, Naruto is the one who pursues Sasuke to stop him from whatever he was about to do. Meaning, Naruto is the one who is constantly reaching out and Sasuke as usual kicks him out violently, that is he is pushing him away. That’s the essence of the whole battle.

Considering all the battles in the Naruto universe, I categorize them as follows:

Best Calculated (and emotional) battle - Itachi vs Sasuke

Best Hand-to-Hand combat - Kakashi vs Obito (what a fight it was!!!)

Best Mega Powered Up battle - Hashirama vs Madara

Best Emotional battle - Naruto vs Sasuke (1st valley of the end)

Best Unpredictable/Entertaining battle - Naruto vs Pain

Despite having all the potential to fulfill the above categories, The Final Valley of the End Battle never bested in any of them.

As analyzed before, the boys have grown up to greater heights. I expected a battle between Cleverness of Sasuke Vs Unpredictability of Naruto

But what I observed was something so intense. That is Unintentional closeness.

This battle symbolizes one thing: I am going to kill you to get lonely vs I won’t let you kill me because you will be alone.

Being a long range fighter, I expected Sasuke to go for this.

If you have to kill someone you love, it is best to keep your distance. Sasuke knows this full well when he battled with Itachi. Except for some Sword fighting, he maintained a certain distance to fight Itachi throughout, until the very end.

But when fighting Naruto, all I got was this.

That’s when I finally understood that this posture means, the fight is very personal. Which means, Sasuke or Naruto won’t be fighting by sitting on top of each other with their enemies or anyone else. That’s just between them alone.  

There was no analysis or cleverness from Sasuke’s side or any Unpredictability from Naruto. It was very bland and Sasuke looked clueless throughout the fight.

It started with some boxing style combat, including stealing hand seals and then some power punches. Very quickly it propels to Susanoo vs Tailed Beast mode. I expected some Hashirama vs Madara level power battle.

But all we saw there was this.

I mean, Come on!!! Man. Even the most Crazy and openly Romantic Uchiha, Madara himself never fought like this in Susanoo with Hashirama (Though Madara must be thinking ‘Damn Hashirama! I should’ve tried this with you’. LOL). Those mega battles carried variety of tactics.

Another thing I noticed was, Sasuke is the one who does lots of talking and constantly pursuing Naruto. Whereas Naruto is uncharacteristically quiet for the most part. 

And finally it leads to this.

Sasuke was unconsciously getting closer and closer to Naruto which is the opposite of what he wants to do. Because of that very closeness, he couldn’t look at his eyes with his Sharingan and eventually got an uppercut. It’s like Sasuke was screaming, ‘Hate me’ and Naruto was like ‘Keep talking’.

Every jutsu he had for attacking from a long-range were forgotten. He didn’t even try to put Naruto under Genjutsu. I mean with his Rinnegan, he was capable of putting all the 9 Tailed Beasts into a powerful Genjutsu. Why didn’t he try that with Naruto? There was no Chidori Stream or Lightning Blade.

I can imagine Naruto doing close range fights with someone or even sitting on top of the enemy. Example, part I, Naruto head bumped Gaara. He was literally fighting with his Shadow Clones against a Monster so he had to get closer. Naruto monstrously punching Deidara not knowing the fact that it was a clay clone.

But Sasuke??? Can you imagine Sasuke sitting on top of the enemy and punching to pulp??? No way. Not a chance.!!!

In one way or other way, Sasuke was always in the close proximity with Naruto throughout the battle and touching each other which is totally uncharacteristic of him when compared to his other battles.

Every battle he ever fought was always at a distance which is the clear representation of his own character. He is calculative, analytical, precise and moves fluidly with a flair like a true Ninja unlike Naruto who is always reckless, noisy, powerful and clumsy. 

Sasuke is someone who never lets his emotions get ahead in the battle, unlike Naruto. This is evident from the War when he was yelling at Naruto to stop worrying about Hokage as they were Edo Tensei who can regenerate. Even when fighting with Itachi, he calculated every move and attacked Itachi without any emotions except at the very end. Sasuke in this final battle forgot who he was and telling us viewers “Am just gonna get closer to Naruto and punch him hard”.

In short, Sasuke completely forgot all his battle tactics he had with Itachi and let his emotions get ahead of his cleverness and got himself closer to Naruto which eventually ended up weakening his resolve to kill him. This is what I meant by Unintentional Closeness.

Anyways, what I understood was, the creator didn’t put all this by without any meaning. It’s all very deliberate and drawn carefully.

Moving onto the final and the most defining moments of SNS.

When I watched this scene for the first time, I can’t comprehend the exact meaning. And I forgot about this later because of my excitement to know what happens next. But what I understood on my rewatch is that, the feelings exchanged here is very pure and innocent but distressing.

Sasuke already lost his resolve to kill by not ramming Naruto with Chidori instead balled up his fist. So he is not contemplating whether or not to kill Naruto.

Sasuke made every effort to leave Naruto and succeeded in it too. But somehow, accidentally, when faced with a person whom he considers so precious in such a close proximity, despite have a stinging pain in his arm, he is feeling the warmth he once felt. He just wants that warmth to prolong for some more time and he can’t able to evade it. So he totally gave in to that desire and feeling it unconsciously. Sasuke always watched Naruto (unbeknownst to him) and felt warmth, relief and weakness. This scene is the symbolic and innocent representation of all those feelings when he saw Naruto and he is exeriencing it for the final time. 

Does this means, does Sasuke wants to kiss him? No.

But every symbolism of that being happening is there. It’s just all open to interpretations. The creator could show us how Sasuke fell on his knees and staring at Naruto intently but never intended to show when he got up and left. I don’t understand this twisted mind of the creator.

Added to that, Sasuke was about to say ‘Naruto, I....’ God only knows what he was about to say. But every possibility of Sasuke confessing and kissing is there.

I know the creator cannot approach this directly considering the situations he worked under. But is there any necessity for such an intense scene? Even the anime creators loved this scene and made their own version of making Naruto’s eyes wide open and even more closer.

I wont be watching my friend or sister like that. 

That explains all the way back to this fated accidental scene.

There is nothing special about this scene. It’s all very clear that the kiss was accidental. It was really funny. But my point is why Sasuke never beat him to pulp or even push Naruto away like he did with Sakura and Karin? Why did he stood up for Naruto before Sakura? Why did he let go off Naruto even though he tied him up? Too many leeway for a single person in a single episode. And the most important part is, Sasuke thought it was intentional and remembers the taste. LOL.

Does this means he enjoyed the kiss? Not at all.

Most probably he was shocked to see Naruto in such a close proximity after seeing him from a distance for all those years. And he enjoys this as just another prank from Naruto in his own innocent way. But he won’t mind getting another one from Naruto either.

So, to conclude

I believe I made this post from an objective standpoint without making crazy theories and I don’t have to..... since canonical resources were plenty. Obviously my own bias will also be there which is unavoidable. But I tried to question the creative choices of why this scene even exist in the first place many times. Because those are the scenes which made the most impact inside me.

My first watch of Naruto gave me the benefit of doubt that ‘Are they in love? Nah... They are friends. Maybe I am just overthinking...  but why does it feel different??’ and that too only after finishing episode 478. After rewatching it again and again, it only consolidated my view.

For Sasuke, his worldly ties are pretty thin and runny. He was always a loner from the beginning even when he had his family. He never bothered to make any friends nor did anyone tried to befriend him. He was pretty close to his family especially Itachi. When he lost everything, somehow he got attracted innocently to Naruto and started to like him. But beyond Naruto he never bothered to add anyone in his heart. He considered Kakashi and Sakura were like his acquaintances who helped him a lot and that’s all.

Then after using Orochimaru, he gathered some high skilled shinobi for killing Itachi. But he made it clear that there don’t need to be any understanding but just co-operation would be enough. But along his way, he just abandoned Jugo, Suigetsu somewhere. He openly said to Karin that she is nothing but a burden to him. When his hatred reached upto a maximum boiling point, he didn’t even hesitate to kill Karin, Kakashi or Sakura. But the moment Naruto appears he calmed down. The proof? He was shocked to see Naruto at first. Then Naruto calls, ‘Sasuke!!!’, to which Sasuke responds with, ‘What?’. Despite becoming a maniac, he could find it in his heart to listen to Naruto.

It took an Edo Tenseified Itachi to bring him some rationality to question his beliefs about destroying Konoha. When Jugo and Suigetsu appear again, he casually asked them, ‘What do you want with me at this point?’, I mean, Come On, Man. LOL.  Even during the war arc, when things were about to blast off he only cared about Jugo (who helped him many times, so understandable) and Naruto (Geez!!! LOL).

Even after their final battle, the anime went so far as to create a scene where they were alone in a bright Konoha. But Sasuke looked very peaceful and listening to Naruto intently. When Naruto freaks out about Infinite Tsukuyomi, he casually laughs off and says ‘you still care about the world’. Meaning, he is happy there spending time alone with the person he loves. Doesn’t give a rat’s ass about missing anyone else. (How romantic!!!). Honestly, Sasuke wouldn’t mind if they were to stay that way forever. He would gladly listen to Naruto all day.  But when Naruto disappears he freaks out and starting to make up his mind about joining his brother.

It’s very clear that the people he adores are Itachi and Naruto. Towards Itachi, it’s super understandable, because he is his own brother. But Naruto??? Why should the creator go so far as to make Sasuke adores Naruto even after breaking up with him?

And why make Sasuke possessive about Naruto’s life? When Obito was about to kill Naruto with that Black Orbs, Sasuke blocked him and said ‘You are not the One to sever the past, I am’. I understand the logic behind Sasuke’s possessiveness on Itachi’s life because he destroyed his family, childhood and even Itachi wants Sasuke to be the one to kill him. But why possessive on Naruto? He is not related to him by blood. Naruto never did anything wrong to Sasuke to warrant any hate either. You will become possessive on something only when you truly hate it or wholeheartedly love it. There is no middle ground. My point is why put Naruto here at all in the first place?? Believe me, If Sasuke never paid attention to Naruto in the War arc, I would be the first person to jump out of this ship. 

Just to give you a basic example, Imagine you are living in a place far away from your family, friends and that loveable person. When Corona hits everywhere and forced Lockdown to travel outside the city, and the situation is getting worse day by day. Whom would you desperately reach out first? You would reach the person whom you are connected well in your family and that loved one. You will prioritize your friends only later. This is the Universal truth. Sasuke was seen showing that same instinct in the War arc towards Naruto whom he was not related by blood. And you all just want me to believe Sasuke sees him as just a friend?? Give me a break!!!

If all those traits I’ve mentioned above have been avoided to a greater extent, I would be happy to believe that they are friends. If not all, at the very least delegate some of the tropes to other people or share some of the tropes with other people along with Naruto. But dumping it all on Naruto alone makes me only curious and incredibly romantic too. 

It’s no wonder, Naruto would go so far as to reach out Sasuke even at the expense of his life.

Oh, Did I forget about the cutest and most exclusive trope to SNS?

U-SU-RA-TON-KA-CHI, the most personal word which carries its own meaning and is only for Naruto. So funny that Sasuke has to spend a certain amount of energy to call Naruto using a 6 syllabic word rather than NA-RU-TO, a 3 syllabic word which is much easier.

Disclaimer: This post constituted everything from from Chapter 1 to 699 or Episode 1 to 135 (part 1) + Episode 1 to 479 (Shippuden) excluding fillers. Though Sasuke shinden novel was made into anime, I don’t want to consider that here. As much as I loved the prologue in that novel, I still don’t want to cite that here, as I consider everything after 699 is $$$$ making bullshit.

FUN FACT:

If you put yourself in any character in the Naruto Universe except for Naruto, and ask them, ‘What do you think about Sasuke?’. You know the answer from Sakura, she will say ‘Sasuke-Kun looks very cool and acts aloof, that’s why I love him’. Kakashi will say ‘My favorite student’. And all the other people will say somewhat similar, ‘He is an excellent Shinobi who belongs to the proud Uchiha clan and Naruto’s rival’

But Naruto will be the only person to say this.

“Lot of fun to be around” ....... LOLLLLL.

Me: No, Naruto!!! Clearly not. No one in your universe can have fun with him except you. Go and Ask Sai, Team Taka or your own Team 7. They adore him for being Cool and Talented. But Fun is not the word that equates with Sasuke unless there is no You, Naruto.

Thanks for reading :-D

#sasunaru #narusasu #sasunarusasu #sns #naruto #sasuke #naruto uzumaki #sasuke uchiha #anti sakura #itachi #anti sasusaku #anti naruhina #naruto analysis #naruto and sasuke arent brothers as they never shared a womb #if you see your friend with all these traits then you are no longer just friend

[vendettaparker]

Tom Holland x actress reader

Where are there in the same movie together and the cast goes out and Tom and reader really likes eachother maybe smut and after it’s really awkward between them fluff with a sprinkle of angst

Not In Love [T.H]

Word Count: 3.1k

Warnings: sexual themes, cursing, slight angst, probably some typos

a/n: hi hi! i’m so sorry but i don’t write smut, so i hope it’s ok that i just implied it! i will probably start writing smut in the future but for right now i find it a bit awkward for myself to write. also, sorry that this took so long to get out, i planned for this to only be like 800-1k words, and obvioulsy, it just kept going. hope this works well for you!

                             ✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

     (Y/N) (L/N) does not fuck around with co-stars. Ever since you started acting at the young age of eight, you were always told by your mom, manager, and others in the industry to avoid casual, co-star related hook ups. As your career progressed, even through puberty, you remained faithful to your vow. No mingling with co-workers in a non professional manner. Sure, some of your previous co-stars and you remained good friends, even after filming. But the main internal lesson always stayed the same: don’t fuck your co-stars. 

     In your long and glorious career, the only hindrance to your resolve was Tom fucking Holland. His stupid British charm and playful wiles always had your knees buckling and the butterflies in your stomach going haywire. And when he called you darling? In that stupid, yet honey-like accent? You were done for. 

     Tom had the absolute pleasure of working with you in The Devil All The Time. He watched all of your movies and practically grew up watching you on Disney Channel. To say he was simply starstruck would’ve been an understatement, he was enamoured. Practically in love. And when he got to know how kind and sweet you were in real life—not just on screen— he just had to turn on his British charm, just to watch you squirm. 

     Every little comment he made caused your skin to tingle. Your stance on co-star relationships had never been so harshly challenged. He would constantly call you whatever cute pet name he could think of at the time, and unluckily for you, they always seemed to just roll right off his tongue. He even went out of his way to grab you a coffee if he went out to get one, or he’d ask his brother to make sure to bring back your signature order: caramel macchiato with almond milk, two pumps of vanilla, and extra caramel drizzle. How he knew that was your go to order was a mystery to you. 

     It’s not like you didn’t retaliate with your own antics though. Sometimes during his scenes you send him a wink and a smile, just to watch him lose focus. Or maybe you’d tease him about the way he says croissant, but then also say it in the over pronounced way he does, just to bug him. On days when the sexual tension between you two was especially palpable, you’d kiss his cheeks after his scenes and say “good job, babe” or something else to rile him up. So no, you weren’t innocent in this matter at all. 

                   ✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

     This build up of tension was bound to boil over at some point. But why the fuck did it have to be during the fucking full cast and director dinner?

     You all arrived at the fancy restaurant, all 40+ of you. You sat next to Eliza and secretly hoped that Sebastian, Harry, or even Robert would take the seat next to you, anyone but Tom. He had been especially touchy that day, and you knew if he continued his ministrations, especially under the cover of a table, your resolve would surely fade away. 

     Unfortunately for you, Tom practically bolted to the seat next to you. You scooted a bit closer to Eliza, who nudged your shoulder playfully. 

     “You should just give in.” She stated, smirking the whole time. “Look at him, poor thing just wants some love and attention.” she giggled, nodding her head to where Tom was whispering with Harry on the other side of him. 

     “Stop it, you’re insufferable.” You rolled your eyes, but still smiled at the joking banter. 

     “(Y/N), hon, he’s one of the hottest celebrities in Hollywood right now, and he wants you.” Eliza pinched your makeup covered cheek, “you’re telling me you don’t wanna just jump in his pants? Do you not find him hot or something?” 

     You smacked her hand away, “No, I do find him attractive, I just d—”

     “Find who attractive, love?” Tom interrupted, smirking at the comment he heard. No, he didn’t know for sure you were talking about him, but one can hope. 

     “Nobody,” you dismissed, “I was just telling Eliza here that I think her dog is cute, right Eliza?” 

     “Sure.” She mumbled, rolling her eyes dramatically, then winking directly at Tom, just out of your view. 

     “Ah, I see.” He chuckled, “Yes, you find her dog attractive then?” 

     “No!” You defended, red faced from being backed into a hole, “I didn’t even use that word; you’re just hearing things.” 

     “Don’t worry, love. I find you absolutely, without a doubt, drop dead gorgeous.” Tom winked, before returning back to his conversation with Harry. 

     Eliza pinched your side, causing you to yelp. “See, I told you!” she whisper-yelled, a knowing smirk dawning her face. 

     “You didn’t tell me shit.” 

     “Ugh, whatever, you’re hopeless.” She sighed, just as the waiter was coming around to take your orders. 

     The majority of the evening went by just as simply and smoothly as possible, it was when dessert arrived that Tom stirred up trouble once again. His damned British charm made him the perfect devil in disguise.  

     “Darling, you have some cake right—” he licked his thumb before drawing it over your bottom lip, slowly, “here.” 

     He smirked at your surprised gaze and wiped the chocolate cake from your rose-painted lip. Never breaking his gaze, he drew his thumb back to his mouth and sucked on the digit, gently humming at the sweet taste of chocolate and strawberry lip gloss that flooded onto his tongue. This bitch. 

     You cleared your throat and ceased your—more than obvious— gawking. He wasn’t going to win this time. You sat quietly, smirking as he watched your every move, simply waiting for retaliation. And it came soon enough, when you knocked your water off the table into his lap, on accident, of course. 

     He jolted up the second the cold water hit his slacks, cursing, yet still keeping that charming smirk on his lips. You immediately started the steady stream of apologies, a faux look of remorse etched on your face. The rest of the cast simply looked on, none the wiser. 

     “Oh Tom! Gosh, I am so sorry.” You stood up as well, taking the napkin from your lap and dabbing his torso where the water splashed up. “I’m just so clumsy, forgive me.” You looked up at him with false serenity in your eyes, but a devilish grin. 

     “No worries, love.” He mused, “I’m just going to go dry off in the washroom. Could use some help though; it’s the least you could do.” The rest of the cast went back to their desserts and conversation, so they failed to notice the hidden glint in Tom’s eyes or the lustful insinuation behind his request. 

     “Sure.” You smiled up at him, determined not to lose this game of cat and mouse. You followed him to the large family restroom in a dimly lit corridor. He opened the door and gestured for you to go in first. What a gentleman, hm?

     He closed the door behind him and locked it before undoing the buttons on his dress shirt and removing it. His toned torso also damp with freezing droplets of ice water. 

     You sucked in a shaky breath, taking in his less than professional, disheveled look. “You gonna come help me, princess?” He reached for paper towels and grabbed a handful, dabbing the wet spot on his lap, right over his crotch. 

     “I—um, sorry,” you snapped out of it. Following his movements, doing the same but to his wet torso. 

     “You’re okay, love.” He looked at you, the close proximity of your bodies creating the most delicious heat in the bathroom. Tom leaned in slightly, just until your noses were brushing against one another. “Though, I’ll admit, the fact that you're not giving me an apology kiss right now, makes this a little less than okay.”

     You didn’t even process your actions completely, the second those words left his mouth yours lips were on his. You held his face in your hands, rough passion seeping through your entire body, and he was just the same. He kissed you fervently, holding your waist with one arm and the back of your head with his opposite hand, tangling his fingers into your hair. The tension and desire that had been building up for almost as long as you’ve known him finally boiling over. 

     Tom gingerly inched his hand up the side of your leg, under your dress. 

     “Wait, wait,” you pulled away, breathlessly, “we need to get back, they’re probably wondering where we are.” 

     Tom was about to concede when a knock rang through the room. 

     “Hey guys,” It was Eliza, “Seb paid for all of us, so we’re gonna head out. Take your time! Oh, and use protection!” You could practically hear the smirk on her face.  

     Tom stopped your little scowl by returning his attention to kissing you, “How lucky are we?” he mused, repositioning his hands, starting to fumble with the zipper of your dress. 

                   ✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

     The next Monday at work was hell. You spent the whole weekend internalizing your little rendezvous in the bathroom. Tom texted you nearly fourteen times over the two day break period where you didn’t see each other, and you ignored every single one of them. The first ones were simple ‘hey’s’, ‘hi’s’, and ‘good morning’s’, but they soon progressed to show Tom’s concern over you not responding. The last message being, 

Tom: I hope you know, I don’t regret it, but I’m sorry if you do.

     You didn’t mean to ghost him, but your feelings were so confusing. You liked him and the things he did to you. But you had a code. And maybe the ‘don’t date your co-worker’ was a bit old school and shitty, but you’d been able to stick to it for this long and your work has never been better. Then again, all your previous boyfriends have been assholes; constantly upset over how busy your schedule was. Maybe a fellow actor would be more understanding? 

     The second you arrived to set Harry was on your ass. 

     “(Y/N), hey!” He called to you from the snack table where he was talking with Tom. You gave him a small smile and wave, but proceeded to your makeup chair. He motioned for you to join them, but you waved your hand in dismissal and gave him an apologetic look. Whether or not you regretted your night with Tom, you were absolutely not ready to confront it just yet. However, you didn’t miss the disappointed look on Tom’s face or the way Harry gave his brother a reassuring shoulder squeeze. 

     Harry even came up to you asking how your weekend was and if you were busy or not, no doubt trying to gauge your mood for Tom. You were friends with Harry so you didn’t mind talking to him, but when it was becoming apparent that you weren't giving much away as far as how you were feeling, Harry resorted to more ‘less than subtle’ questions. 

     “So… are you seeing anyone, currently?” He asked, playing with his fingers, the question struck you as extremely off-putting, especially since Harry said it with little to no confidence, like he really didn’t want to be asking that. 

     “Why? Are you trying to ask me out?” You teased. Watching him squirm was almost as fun as when it was Tom. 

     “No! No, I mean— I’m not opposed, you’re very pretty—no wait, I don’t mean it like that, I just—uh, I think you look nice, but not too nice—I’m gonna go.” Harry painfully stuttered out. Cursing under his breath as he walked away, back to where Tom was standing, watching on. These idiots were the most obvious divs in the whole world. 

     After you finished with your stylist, you were ready to start running lines for your scene. You have the majority of your scenes with Tom, so as per usual, you were acting opposite him. As the director was explaining how he wanted the scene to go, Tom kept glancing over at you, raising his eyebrows a bit, obviously wanting to clear the air. 

     The scene went by fine, but it was clear to many of the people around you that you were not on the top of your game today. It even got to the point where the director needed to ask if you needed a break. You said you didn’t and persisted. The scene was finally done to perfection, but it took almost double the amount of time it usually would for you. 

     Tom noticed you struggling the most and couldn’t help but feel guilty. He was quick to give you words of encouragement between takes, but you only responded with a quick ‘thanks’ and moved on. 

     When lunch time came around, the caterers were all set up and prepared on a different part of the lot. You quickly made your way over, running into Eliza on the way. 

     “Oh, hey (Y/N)!” she beamed at you. “Did you finish your scene?”

     “Yeah, are you going to set right now?” 

     “Mhm, I’m shooting the scene at the church with Robert.” 

     “Well, good luck.” You smiled at her, about to move along when she grabbed your wrist. 

     “Wait, did something happen between you and Tom? He’s at the lunch table moping, even Seb is trying to cheer him up.” 

     “Um well no, I mean, maybe? I don’t know, I guess I’ve been avoiding him a bit.” You shrug, now not really wanting to go to lunch, but you know you have to. If you don’t show up then it’d be all too clear to Tom that you were definitely avoiding him. 

     “Oh, well, maybe just talk to him?” Eliza comfortably put a hand on your shoulder before walking away to set. 

     You continued to the lunch set up, seeing club sandwiches, soups, and cupcakes set up. You grabbed what you wanted and went to sit by Tom and everyone else. Yeah, you may have been avoiding him, but you didn’t want to make it that painstakingly obvious. 

     As soon as you sat down, Tom put his arm around you like he always did when you had lunch together. Only this time you stiffened up, not because you hated it, but because the action felt so different after what you both had done, it felt like it meant more. Tom noticed, of course, and removed his arm, frowning. 

     “Can I talk to you, (Y/N/N)?” he whispered to you, the rest of the table in their own little world, too caught up in their interactions to notice yours. 

     “Um, sure,” you mumbled in response, “but maybe when I have free time later? I’m just really hungry right now.” you gave him a small smile, trying to keep up the amicability. 

     He nodded and continued his conversation with Seb, who looked completely uninterested, but still continued responding since he could tell Tom was feeling shitty about something. 

     Later that evening, the entire cast had a one hour break since the next scene they wanted to shoot needed to be done at night and it wasn’t dark yet. That’s when Tom took you to his trailer to talk. 

     “Look, (Y/N), I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but I can’t help but feel like you’re avoiding me.” He stated, once the door was shut and you were already seated on his couch. 

     “I’m not.” 

     “But you are. I can tell. You didn’t talk to me at all today, even when I made a joke that I knew you’d have the perfect come back to.” He sat next to you, but kept more of a distance than usual.

      “I don’t have to talk to you, Tom. You can’t rely on me to keep you entertained.” You rolled your eyes, annoyed that you’d been caught. 

      “That’s not what I’m saying, (Y/N), and you know it.” Tom pointed a finger at you, equally annoyed now. 

     “Fine, so what if I was avoiding you? You’re a grown man, you can handle rejection can’t you?” You spat. The argument was quickly becoming more heated. If there was one thing you hated the most in the world, it was being called out, especially if you knew you were in the wrong. 

     “What the fuck is your problem today?” Tom asked, exasperated at how defensive you got so quickly. 

     “Tom, I’m sorry, but I don’t do this,” you motioned between the two of you, “I don’t do the cliche Hollywood, sleeps around, one night stand scenario, so back off.” 

     “So you regret it.” Tom looked down, trying to keep his emotions at bay. He really did like you, but maybe it was naive of him to assume that sleeping together would open the door to something more. 

     “No, I just—it shouldn’t have happened. I liked it, but I’m not that type of girl. I’m a relationship type of person. I never wanted to be another girl for you to mark down on your list of possible hook ups.” You sighed. Tom wasn’t necessarily notorious for random hookups, but he was a famous actor who just so happened to also be single. It was hard to not go there with your thoughts, so in your mind, you had him pegged. 

     “I’m a relationship person too, though. I wanted all of this. All of you.” Tom inched closer, gingerly taking your hands in his. “I may have gone about it wrong, I should’ve asked you out first or something.” 

     “Tom, stop.” 

     “No, (Y/N), because you’ve got it all wrong. I didn’t flirt with you or spend time with you just to get in your pants.” Tom pulled you closer. “I surrounded myself with you because I wanted you. And I think you want me too.”

     You looked in his eyes, searching for any sign of insincerity, small as it might be, but Tom was being the most sincere he could possibly be. Tom cautiously leaned closer, just wanting one more kiss, even if it was the last. However, you were the one that took the final plunge and pulled him in, kissing him. You both moved together so fluidly, like you were made for each other. 

     When you did pull apart, Tom was the one to break the silence, “So does that mean you like me or…” 

     “I kissed you, didn’t I?” 

#tom holland #tom holland angst #tom holland x reader #tom holland fluff #tom holland x reader angst #tom holland x y/n #tom holland smut #tom holland oneshot #tom holland imagine #tom holland x actress!reader

[imagining-in-the-margins]

Here to Misbehave (Pt. 23 | S.R.)

Series Masterlist | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | Part 22 | Part 23 | Finale |

Summary: Spencer’s birthday plans get interrupted by a case. Frustrated by Reader’s busy schedule, Spencer finds a unique way to spend time with her. Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader Category: Smut (NSFW, 18+) Content Warning: Mild exhibitionism, fingering, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, Dom/sub, light choking, degradation/praise, sub space Word Count: 7.3k

MASTERLIST

—————————————————

Waiting for Spencer Reid was an interesting position to be in. It was also, unfortunately, very, very common. You would think the IQ points would translate to efficiency, but you’d be very wrong. The only thing that boy does fast is read, and even that didn’t follow through to text messages, considering he’d read none of the six I’d sent him in the past hour.

So, naturally, as one does in an emergency, I called him. Unsurprisingly, the phone barely rang a second time before he picked up. Talking was, as we were both aware, his forte. Without even waiting for my greeting, his groggy voice came through the receiver with a song-like sound.

“Hello, little girl.”

But it wasn’t his turn to sing, and he knew damn well why I was calling. I could hear the smirk on his face so well that I could also envision exactly what he looked like in that moment, with his fluffy hair sticking up from constantly running his hands through it and his eyes only half-open as he tried to finish reading whatever horrible thing that he had in front of him.

It wasn’t how anyone should be spending their birthday. Especially not him. There wasn’t really anything I could do about it, though that didn’t make it any easier to hear the exhaustion and sadness behind that scratchy voice.

“What’re you doing up late? It’s past your bedtime, you know,” he chastised before I even had a chance to speak. He wasn’t wrong — It was 3AM where I was. But where he was, it’d just hit midnight.

“I just wanted to wish a happy birthday to my favorite old man,” I purred back once I’d managed to calm my fast-beating heart. I wondered if I’d ever get used to the brief rush of adrenaline and relief when I heard his voice for the first time after some time away.

I hoped not.

Spencer didn’t seem impressed by my reasoning, though. “You’re sweet. Go to sleep.”

“You’re up, too,” I whined, still picturing the way he would undoubtedly pull the phone further away to lessen the noise. I almost asked if he was also picturing me but stopped when I realized that whatever he had in mind was probably a lot more exciting than reality. Then again, he often told me that moments like this were his favorite. When we’re both too tired to keep our eyes open but too happy to be with each other to let them close all the way.

“Barely,” he corrected.

“Besides, I had to stay up. It’s your birthday.”

I’d meant to lift his spirits, but the long pause after I finished made it evident that my efforts were for naught. He almost seemed even more upset than when he’d answered, and I tried to convince myself that it had nothing to do with me. It wasn’t that hard, considering he was probably staring at images or words of dead people.

“Yeah, sure feels like it.”

His tone alone ensured me it was worse than my imagination.

“Put your work down and pay attention to me instead,” I suggested as softly as I could with the neediness bleeding through, “That’s the first part of your present.”

“You’re my present?” he asked through a gruff laugh that made my heart skip a beat, “I like that present.”

He was trying. I could feel it in his voice, and I wished more than anything that I could teleport to where he was and hold him until it was too difficult for his mouth to form a frown.

“You already have me. That’d be like regifting,” I pointed out with only a pinch of self-deprecation. It was still too much for Spencer, though, who swiftly shot back the ever cheesy, “Every day with you is a gift.”

“Gross, don’t get all sentimental with me,” I ordered playfully.

He returned the energy with all the sass I always knew he was capable of. Once his whining ceased, he mumbled, “Do you come with a gift receipt?”

“No returns or exchanges allowed, I’m afraid.”

Spencer just let out a strained sigh, and in my head, I imagined how it would feel to climb onto his lap as he leaned back in his chair. I could almost feel his arms wrapping around my waist and his lips peppering kisses wherever he could reach. I could feel his love for me flowing across the country, persisting past the cell tower obstacles to make its way back to me.

“I can’t wait to see you again,” he whispered, his first purely sincere statement of the night.

It was an unfortunate choice, too, because it also reminded me of the biggest bummer that I unfortunately had to share.

“Oh, I meant to tell you, it’s midterm season, so…”

He was, thankfully, not as bummed as I was expecting. He was almost certainly thrilled to have a chance to sleep spread out on his bed without having to satisfy the very needy girl beside him, but he still managed to come up with enough bratty energy to scoff, “Are you telling me that I don’t get my gift when I get home?”

“It’ll just be a few days. Promise,” I spoke through the biggest, cheesiest smile I’d had yet. “You’re very distracting, Dr. Reid.”

“When are your exams?” His enthusiasm gave away just how disappointed he was with the news, but any frustration was clearly aimed at my poor professors.

“My last one is on Wednesday.”

The gasp that left him was too funny not to laugh, followed by exasperated, blubbered nonsense that didn’t ever get much clearer. I barely managed to understand him when he cried, “Don’t they know Halloween should be a national holiday?!”

“You should call my professors and yell at them.”

He actually considered it for a moment, but then returned the same silly intonation, “Maybe I will.”  

“Do it. You’re probably more qualified than them to teach me, anyway.”

After a short silence that was filled with more sexual tension than I’d expected considering how the phone call started, I heard Spencer gruffly comment, “You’re a cocky little brat tonight.”

It was so familiar to me that I jumped on the opportunity, giggling through my sleep deprived delirium, “I’m in rare form for your birthday.”

The explanation earned me a chuckle, but not much else. At least, not that I could see. The static on the other end of the phone sounded a lot like the way it looked when Spencer leaned his face against his palm and tried to see something that wasn’t there.

But I was there. Sort of. We’d done a lot more with a lot less, after all. So, that’s what I offered him.

“You know… we could have a redo of the last time I called you late at night on a case.”

“That did not end well for me last time,” he droned. I tried not to laugh at the manufactured memory of Spencer holed up in a hotel bathroom because he just had to have me in whatever way he could.

“Only happy endings for your birthday. I promise.”

But then, as it always did, work got in the way. Filled with only the greatest sadness and regret, Spencer quietly but honestly replied, “As much as I would love to, I don’t think it’ll be possible on this case.”

“Is it that bad?”

“Unfortunately.”

I bit my lip because there was nothing I could do. I couldn’t help Spencer with his work any more than I could fix the distance. All I could offer him was a safe home to return to. He would always find that with me.

“Well, in that case, I will be equipped with cartoons and kisses upon your return,” I offered with grace.

But I wasn’t the only one in rare form. Without skipping a beat, Spencer corrected with a smug sadness, “You mean your return. Considering you’re abandoning me on my birthday.”  

“Oh my god, the drama!” I cried before remembering that it was, still, in fact, 3AM. The light grimace I gave after remembering would be the only apology my neighbors would get from me. I was too busy building a narrative happy enough to drown out the horrors in front of him. “You’d think I was the one who was away all the time.”

“I’m allowed to be selfish; it’s my birthday,” he sang, and I soaked in the sound, storing it away for any rainy days.

“Fine. What do you want, brat?” I asked in the worst attempt at an impression I’d ever given.

He was just waiting for the question. Drawing out the first couple of syllables, he laughed through the stupidest birthday wish of all time.

“I want… you to go to bed.”

“Ugh!” I yelled again, not even bothering to feel bad about it that time. My exasperation fell on deaf ears, both from a willful desire to ignore my suffering and a literal ringing from the constant yelling.

Still, that impossible man drummed up enough compassion to gloat with a simple, “I love you.”

“I love you, too, jerk,” I grumbled, only to be swiftly corrected with a playful, “Try that again.”

“I love you, too, old man.”

He was satisfied enough with that answer, despite the sarcasm dripping from it. He still knew that the words were true, and that was all that mattered. Any punishments that might be necessary for my broken promise to behave for his birthday could always be doled out later. When the distance between us was narrowed to inches and clothes could be removed like cheap wrapping paper.

“Thank you, little girl. Sweet dreams,” he whispered, reminding me once more of just how empty my bed felt without him. I stared at his pillow for just one second before I threw myself into it. He chuckled at the sound of rustling sheets over the receiver but said nothing else.  

“You get some sleep tonight, too, okay?” I asked, uncharacteristically and openly vulnerable in a way that used to scare me.

Spencer’s voice was filled with pride and love as he answered, “You can’t see it, but I am giving you a pinky promise.”

“Good.” Burying my face in his pillow again made it easier to remember that it wouldn’t be forever when I said, “Bye, Spencer.”

“Goodnight, little girl.”

—————————————————

Autumn on campus felt pretty similar to the rest of the year. I wished that it were different, a little more exciting, to reflect how I felt about the impending holiday. But no, it was just students stumbling into their usual classes and hectically scheduled midterms with hangovers and a total lack of holiday cheer.

It was, in a few words, a complete bummer. The only thing that kept me going through the last of my exams was the knowledge that I’d be seeing Spencer. Unfortunately, he was still doing that rather annoying thing where he refused to answer my text messages. It wasn’t until he ignored even my most ridiculous threats that I realized something was going on.

The ‘Read’ notification sat menacingly on my screen, and I was so fixated on it that I almost didn’t notice the familiar mop of brown curls visible in the front row of the auditorium. But once I saw it, the phone was forgotten faster than ever before. I ran down the steps at a ridiculously dangerous pace, dodging the others still grumbling from their previous exams.

I landed in front of him with only enough breath left to sneer, “You’re in my seat.”

“Surprise,” he said with my favorite smug, self-assured smile.

“Adorable. Now move,” I ordered with a wave of my hand. As much as I loved the guy, I wasn’t about to change my seating arrangement for him. It was beginning to make sense, though, why my friend told me that she wouldn’t be sitting with me today.

“Fine,” he sighed, taking his sweet time moving seats and watching me happily bounce on my feet in the meantime. I snuck behind him into the seat before he’d even fully stood up. That little amount of friction between our bodies seemed to be enough to cause the tension to mount. It’d only been seconds, but I was already seriously considering abandoning the class. To hell with the professor who’d already seen me.

But Spencer’s eyes locked on mine, and he leaned onto the armrest with that same silly smirk.  

“It’s a workday, Dr. Reid,” I whispered, forcing my arm next to his and watching the way his pupils grew as I came closer.

“I might have pulled a few strings,” he replied just as quietly, keeping the illusion of secrecy despite many prying eyes around us, “Might’ve told Hotch I was invited.”

“But you weren’t,” I snorted.

Spencer’s head hung in just a little bit of shame, but his wide smile never waned. It was still there, bright and pure in its simplicity as he softly admitted, “Yeah. I lied. But I’m here now.”

There were no complaints about that fact, either. His pinky reached out to mine, twining together in the dim light of the auditorium. Somehow, for a brief second, I forgot about everything else. The noisy chatter meant nothing to me, the two of us lost in some alternate pocket universe that felt safe and warm from the cold air outside.

But time resumed, and I watched as Spencer took his eyes off of me first, turning instead to the lecturer watching us with a knowing glint in his eyes.

“Good morning everyone! We have a special guest with us today.”

I wanted to pay attention to his little introduction, but I couldn’t. Every word that was said about him sounded so clinical. It felt so empty compared to the truth I knew about him. He was so much more than a collection of publications and PhDs.

He was… indescribable. Even as his mouth formed a flat line and his awkward handshake was granted to the crowds of disinterested students, all I saw was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Even if it was only from the shadows of his greatness. Then again, I don’t think he’d ever let me feel that way.

Speaking of…

"Dr. Reid, the only thing I ask is for you to give these wonderful students a chance to show you what they know,” my professor started with a laugh before he so kindly continued, “So go easy on them." 

In any other situation, I might have let it slide. I would have accepted the fact that Spencer was far beyond my intellect and not stand up for myself. But this time, Spencer was on my turf.

"All due respect to Dr. Reid, I don't think he needs to go easy on us,” I called from the front row, only audible to the other dutiful students that cared enough to sit up front. I heard Spencer laugh beside me, shaking his head just a little bit at the challenge. He didn’t say anything though, and I returned my eyes to the professor who was already familiar with my antics as I boasted, "At least not on me." 

While Spencer caught on to the fairly obvious double entendre, shifting his crossed legs closer, the professor just wrote it off as my usual academic pride.

“I did try to warn you that that one might get competitive,” he commented. At this point, everyone had definitely figured out my relation to the man next to me. It was kind of hard to hide a bullet wound from your school. But again, I was so caught up in the man beside me that I didn’t even feel a little shame at their playful teasing.

Spencer’s commentary was the only thing that mattered, and he gave it with a dreamy sigh. "I'm not offended at all. I'm sure she's very clever." 

The little bit of light left in the room started to fade, and once I was shrouded by the shadows, I felt confident enough in my plan to dig through the bag at my feet to pull out probably the nerdiest item in it.

A fucking back-up clicker. Which, I promptly handed to the man beside me.

“You’re in seat B4,” I whispered gruffly, earning yet another snarky chuckle from my boyfriend.

“Is that a challenge?”

I didn’t answer. Not him, anyway. What I did answer was the question that had appeared on the screen.

“Ms. (Y/n)?” My professor called, recognizing my seat number without even looking up.

Luckily for me, today was nothing but a review day of the midterm I’d already taken. While I knew all of the questions and, what I’d hoped were the right answers, Spencer had to read the questions from scratch. Really, it didn’t give me an edge. It just put us on equal playing ground.

As I gave my answer, I watched in my peripherals as Spencer’s eyes narrowed and tongue peeked out from lips that I still hadn’t gotten the chance to kiss today.

It was a bad thing to think about, because my brief reverie of the things that mouth was capable of reminded me of another one. I didn’t even notice another question had appeared on the screen, and when I heard the familiar buzz of an attempted answer, I shared my Professor’s temporary confusion.

“Ah, Dr. Reid,” he laughed, probably already regretting welcoming the bastard here, “Please explain the answer.”

But there was another thing working in my favor: My boyfriend’s giant fucking ego. Really, it should be impossible that someone who was normally super insecure could enjoy showing off as much as he did. My professor didn’t mind, because Spencer’s long-winded answer was a wonderful review of… basically the entire course, and I didn’t mind because it granted me the one thing I needed.

Time. Time to slowly remove my jacket and reveal the sweater underneath. Spencer’s eyes caught the motion, glancing over only a couple of times while he managed to give his answer. It wasn’t until I started to remove the sweater that he cut his answer short.

His throat clearing told me he wanted my attention, but I was still just too distracted for him. I fanned my chest that felt warm for reasons other than the temperature of the room, guaranteeing his eyes would stay there long enough for me to catch the next question before he had a chance.

Or so I thought. Because before the question appeared, I made the positively stupid mistake of meeting his gaze. As soon as I did, my mind was stuck there, drowning in molasses and honey and—

“Dr. Reid, please feel free to continue to do my job for me. Lord knows I would love a break,” the professor joked, and I almost felt guilty for just how genuine he sounded. Not like Spencer would have noticed passive aggression if it existed.

Not like either of us would have cared. Per usual, we were so lost in the space of B4 and B5 that we didn’t care about the rest of the alphabet. All we cared about was winning. It was growing more and more obvious to me, though, that I would have to become a little more ruthless if I wanted to bring down the bona fide genius.  

The sound of his voice rang through the auditorium loud, clear, and confident. He didn’t need to worry if he was right or not, because he knew he was. The smugness was grating to my ears. I knew I couldn’t trick him into making a mistake, but there was one thing I could do.

I’d learned one thing very well in my time with Spencer, and that was how to manipulate that pretty little voice of his.

For example, if I wanted to hear it catch in his throat and come out a few pitches higher, all I would have to do is touch him. The riskier the touch, the higher his voice would go. Which was why I spread out the jacket over my lap, making sure that our legs were close enough that it covered him, too. Then I waited, calmly and kindly listening to him drone along until there was a natural enough inflection to hide evidence of any nefarious actions. Just as his voice started to rise, I slid my hand over his knee.

Spencer barely stuttered, just enough for me to know he was affected, but not enough for anyone else to notice. He took the loss with grace, quickly ending his answer with a summary that contained only half as many words as he would have normally provided.

He kept a few for me.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he hissed, shifting close enough to me that I could feel his breath on my ear.

“All’s fair in love and war,” I hummed. His breath caught again when I began stroking my thumb over his leg that had just started to bounce.

“This is wildly inappropriate.”

“How perceptive,” I returned with my own little smirk. The interaction caught us both, trapping us in the alternate dimension that existed when we held each other. His hand found its way to mine, and his thumb brushed over the back and sent goosebumps shooting over my skin.

I’d practically abandoned our pursuits altogether when I heard my friend’s voice as she took the question that we’d both missed. I should’ve been upset for losing after all that I’d gone through for my strategy to succeed, but it was hard to feel anything other than butterflies when Spencer was still looking at me like that.  

Even when I looked away, he stayed, patiently waiting for me to take the final question in the review. I granted him a chance to take it, but he just shook his head, implicitly asking me to take the win for the both of us. Even when we were competing, we were always on the same team.

There were no more distractions as I explained the answer as simply as I could. I was positive the rest of the class was tired of hearing our voices, but Spencer never stopped smiling. I could feel the pride rolling off of him, his hand growing tighter around mine as he took in a deep breath.

“Very good, (y/n),” my professor announced, signaling the end and initiating a large sigh of relief from everyone else.

Spencer sighed too, although his was with a different kind of relief; a dreamy, soft sound as he muttered under his breath, “Just like I said. Very clever.”

The air felt positively electric, and I never hated my class more than I did in that moment. The rest of the period ticked by so slowly that I almost swore the clocks were broken. Once we were allowed to leave, Spencer insisted on sticking around to thank the professor for his hospitality.

I knew it was necessary, but that didn’t mean I had to like it. I tried to be as patient as possible, even though it seemed pointless. Spencer’s little grin told me he knew very well what he was doing. The conversation had dragged on for practically five minutes of agony while I idled by the door.

But then my professor passed, and I felt the adrenaline course through my veins in seconds. As anticipated, we didn’t even make it out of the building before the tension broke. We’d barely even made it down the goddamn hallway before I shoved his scrawny ass into the first empty classroom I found. Once the door clicked shut behind us, the roles were quickly reversed.

I hadn’t seen him that excited in so long that I’d almost forgotten how easy it was to get swept up in his undertow. I couldn’t keep track of his hands or his mouth as they marked any bare skin they could find. But no matter how frantic and uncoordinated the movements were, they never ceased to send chills down my spine.

“This is wildly inappropriate, Dr. Reid,” I managed to slur between sloppy, heated kisses. It was barely comprehensible through the pent-up lust that had driven us there in the first place, but it still felt worth saying.

Spencer, however, made his feelings very clear with a gruff, forceful, “I don’t care.”

His hands were already roaming over my hips, pulling me so close to the edge that I nearly fell off the counter entirely. While I was laughing at his haste, he was busy leaving angry marks on my collarbone, pulling the top of my shirt down to grant him more access. And despite how badly my body burned with desire and need, I drummed up just enough self-preservation to force out a few, regrettable words.

“Take me home.”

Even though I tried to make it sound more seductive than a normal request to stop, it brought the momentum to a halt. Spencer immediately stopped his kisses, but let his hands continue to stroke loving patterns over the sides of my thighs.

“Don’t you have other classes?” he asked. The feeling of his breath against my ears making me second-guess my already voiced decision. But as enticing as the idea was of having him now, having already waited over a week, I knew we could have so much more fun with a little bit of privacy.

“Don’t you have work?” I teased, hoping that it would spur him to take the action we both knew was safer. At the same time, I couldn’t stop myself from wanting to poke fun at the academic in him.

“Unless this is your way of telling me you've always wanted to fuck a girl in a lab because, I must admit I'd be more than happy to oblige." 

Spencer’s whole body tensed as he imagined just what it would feel like to take me in such a public place. After a couple seconds that I can only imagine were filled with fantasies and a reasonable fear, he pulled me from my seat on the counter and placed me back on the ground.

“Let’s go,” he said, pulling me by my wrist towards the door.

I only barely managed to stop him with both hands on his arm. He turned back to look at me like I’d done some horrible thing, but I was too busy trying to stop the laughter that was spilling from my chest.

“You’re uh—” I cleared my throat, pointing to the very noticeable tent in his slacks before I keened through the giggles, “You’re gonna have to do something about that.”

With a quick glance down, Spencer remembered the very unfortunately obvious trait of the male anatomy. “Fuck,” he stated plainly.

I couldn’t resist.

“I mean, I’m down,” I joked one final time.  

“Shut up!” Spencer laughed, too, trying and failing to adjust himself in his pants while I just enjoyed the show.

After all, we both knew that once we were alone, he would get a reprieve from my ridicule. He would get whatever he wanted.

—————————————————

The chaotic clashing of hands and mouths continued seconds after we’d reached our destination. The empty apartment had all of the sounds of our desperation echoing back to us, and after soaking in the melodious noise for a few seconds, I snapped back to reality.

“Okay, she doesn’t get home for another 30 minutes at the earliest so, we’d better hurry,” I urged, trying to shove Spencer off of me to convince him to move. It barely worked, with his arms clutching tighter the harder I struggled to get away.

Wrapped together just like that, the two of us barely made it a few feet before we almost tumbled to the ground. That was just enough of a reminder of our lack of coordination for Spencer to finally, begrudgingly, release me. Kind of. His hand still held tight to mine, and our laughter still combined the whole way to our bed.

From there, Spencer felt confident in our privacy to answer, “That’s fine. I usually tear open my gifts pretty quickly.”

It was a very good metaphor for the way his hands worked over my clothes. I didn’t even try to pinpoint the moment where being naked no longer made me feel nervous. I let the scar tissue show because neither of us were going to look at it, anyway. We were too caught up in the slight shifts and nuances of our faces as we rushed towards our one mutual goal.

“I missed you,” I mumbled, the words feeling as natural as breathing itself.

“I missed you, too,” he returned, and I felt the raw emotion, the sincerity and desire in every syllable. But once it was over and he had finally managed to remove everything but my underwear, all that was left was an all-encompassing, mind-altering level of lust.

“God, watching you in class was so fucking frustrating,” he strained, his upper lip curling with disdain as he watched my body squirm against the sheets.

“Why’s that?”

“I wanted you so badly.”

There was no denying that it was the honest truth, and I didn’t even want to try. I wanted to gloat and bask in the confirmation that his presence was dangerous for my academic career. Not to mention my sanity.  

“Like I said. You’re very distracting.”

Then, to prove my point, that brilliant bastard shoved his hand under the band of my underwear. He only held me softly for one second before he slid his fingers through the slickness and thrust them roughly into me. It hadn’t been that long, but the emptiness I felt before was even more apparent now that I had any part of him inside of me again.

“Am I?” he chimed with a smile.

I wanted to be bratty, to fight the tension that was building and appear unfazed by his ministrations, but there was simply no pretending. Not when my body was already on the verge of spasming around his fingers that seemed to stroke the perfect place within me with every movement.

“Jesus Christ,” I sighed. I should’ve known better than to give him ammunition.

“You’ve resorted to blasphemy already?”

Spencer partnered the tease with a ruthless thrust, burying his fingers to the knuckle inside of me and holding them there. He waited until I ran out of breath and struggled to take another while also trying not to scream in a mixture of frustration and devastating need for more.

“I thought I told you we had to hurry?”

“We’ve got time,” he shot back without pause, “You’re just being a needy little brat.”

“Yes, I am,” I whined just as quickly, “I’m a fucking brat and I need you.”

He almost seemed disappointed in my compliance. His fingers began moving again, eliciting noises that were louder, higher, and sweeter after the anticipation. He tried to draw the attitude out of me by stopping again, waiting for a quip that didn’t come.

“Awww, no fight?” he cooed.

“I can’t. It’s your birthday,” I grumbled before biting my tongue. The pressure was becoming so unbearable I thought I might honestly draw blood. But after another few seconds of torture that felt like a lifetime, Spencer withdrew his hand completely.

He was testing the limits, watching how far I would let him go before begging. But even when he took the same soaked fingers and began rubbing me from the outside of my underwear, I only opened my mouth to steal quick, soft breaths and give pitiful whines.

“Oh, I like this…” he laughed, apparently having gotten past his concern about my sudden compliance, “I could get used to you behaving.”

The song-like cadence got to me, threatening to spark and ignite everything I was holding back. I almost bit back. I almost let the desire scorch my throat with a few choice words for the very rude genius, but I didn’t. The only thing that stopped me was the feel of cotton sliding down my thighs as he removed the final barrier between us.

“You’d miss my misbehaving,” I said with a chuckle. The sound mixed with another, a deep moan that filled my chest when I felt him press himself against my entrance. My back arched, causing him to slip inside of me just enough for us to both lose our words.

“I don’t know…”

If I’d wanted to say anything, my mouth wouldn’t have let me. It was too busy singing his praise while simultaneously begging him to silence it. My lips floundered for a kiss that he hung just far enough away from me to deny. Satisfaction was painted over every feature as he started to enter me, brushing his lips against my mouth every few seconds just to pull away before I was granted the intimacy I sought.

“You do look rather cute when you’re begging.”

It was strange, the way my body started to predict his movements. I met him in the middle of every motion, and I swore even our breath became synchronized in its rapid firing. It wasn’t until his hand rested over my throat we broke the rhythm. I wasn’t going to complain, letting the energy flow down my spine that arched towards him on instinct. His hips never stopped, and I could tell by the way his breath hitched and his fingers grew tighter around my neck that the new angle was as wonderful for him as it was for me.

“You look so sweet when you let go of every ounce of self-preservation and dignity you have and put your life in my hands,” he whispered with an affection that almost seemed odd considering the context. But then there was something else in his moans, a genuine gentleness that made my already arrhythmic heart beat faster.

“You know I’ll take care of you, don’t you?” he asked as his movements stayed calm and careful. Loving and safe.  

I didn’t even notice my eyes had closed, but it ultimately didn’t matter. Because when I opened them, I saw the same man that existed in every image behind my eyelids. The only indication he got that I was still capable of communication was the gentle curve of my lips that dropped open in a pleased sigh as his hips continued a slow, tender pace.

It still felt like too much, but not in a bad way. It was too much in the sense that I was reminded once again just how ruined he’d made me. And the smug little shit knew it, too.

“You don’t have a single thought in that pretty little head, do you?” he cooed, dragging his hand up the column of my throat to force his fingers against my tongue. True to my word, I didn’t try to fight back. I soaked the digits that still tasted like me with my jaw left open. His pupils dilated as he watched the spit pool in my mouth that awaited his instruction.

“You just want to be used. Like the perfect little doll you are.”

Unlike my own, his smile was more of a smirk. A crooked, ever so slightly wicked quirk that made my muscles tense around him in their own version of an affirmative answer. He took it, happily. His body crashed into mine, but it merely felt like an extension of myself returning home like the waves meeting the shore. I could feel him claiming his rightful place at the deepest parts of me, making his home with every powerful motion of his hips.

I could hardly breathe, let alone think. I didn’t want to. It felt unnecessary.

“My sweet little girl,” he muttered with an unbelievably chaste kiss in the center of my forehead, “You’d do anything to make your daddy happy.”

I felt detached from myself in a way that didn’t feel me with fear or pain. I could feel myself through his hands, strong and working the pliable flesh of my thighs as he held them up so that he could drive into me harder.

His eyes, also only half open, burned with intensity. I could feel the determination, the undying desire to grant me a serenity that no one else could. His need for me to feel safe and loved with the seemingly contradictory brutality.

But it wasn’t contradictory. The power behind every movement, the insistence on being as close to me as he possibly could, might have caused some physical pain, but it was nothing compared to the pleasure of sharing this space with him. Of sharing my body with him just to see what he would do with it. I already knew, but I wanted to feel it again and again. Because with each stroke of his hand and thrust of his hips, I felt it.

Spencer had free rein to do whatever he wanted, and he chose to love me.

“I’m so close. You know what I want,” he pleaded despite holding all of the power. He handed it to me with a low groan, trying to kiss my lips while he commanded, “Do it. Come for me.”

My body obeyed his command, falling to pieces around him with shockwaves breaking over every inch of me. My vision went white, crafting a halo of light around him as he also found himself reaching a peak that seemed different than the times we’d shared before.

I tried to figure out what had changed, what about this time made it unique. But as the euphoria faded, all I saw staring back at me was the same face as always, radiating a joy and understanding that warmed damp, chilly skin. Spencer’s release provided a similar warmth within me, and my body clung to him even tighter despite the exhaustion.

My breathing took its time to even out, but I was in no rush to leave him. I would have stayed like that forever, with Spencer covering me like the silliest, boniest blanket. If it wasn’t for the dead weight he eventually dropped on me, we probably would’ve spent the whole day lost in the covers. But he could thank the scars for me being a little less forgiving.

Of course, thankful is not the word to describe him at all. Whiny was more like it. Even as I turned our bodies together so that I would still be sitting on his lap, he did nothing but groan and bitch about it. That is, until I silenced him with a kiss that barely brushed over his lips.

That was enough to turn his frown back to the dopey smile I loved so much.

“Happy birthday, old man,” I purred, enjoying the way his hands grabbed me tighter at the loving nickname. But age wasn’t what was on his mind. I could see it in the way his eyes tore past my defenses and he held me closer like we could actually become one if he tried hard enough.

“I’m so in love with you, it’s infuriating,” he whispered.

“I’ve heard that one before.”

Spencer wasn’t in a joking mood, though. All of his humor seemed to be expended earlier in the day, and now he was just left with all the mushy, romantic innards that I normally kept at bay.

It wasn’t that bad, though, I thought as his hands framed my face so our foreheads would touch. There were worse things to be trapped with.

“It’s true,” he mumbled with his voice still high and slurred together, “I look at you and there is just… nothing that can be said that would ever explain the way it feels.”

“Gross,” I joked.

“Get used to it,” he returned. And if that wasn’t enough to make me laugh, he stuck his tongue out in the most childish display I’d seen from him since he’d fucking licked my hand on our picnic. It was also just charming enough that I was willing to let the sappy stuff slide.

“I’ll be nice to you this time,” I grumbled. “But also, speaking of time, you’d better hurry up if you don’t want to do the walk of shame with an audience.”

Spencer’s arms fell limp with a dramatic cry before he used them to cover his face once more.

“Ugh. Go,” he ordered. Despite his words, he still made me fight against greedy hands to wrestle my way out of bed. It would have been smarter to let me go quickly. I really don’t know what he was thinking, but he would learn his mistake soon enough. Because as I was finishing up in the bathroom, I heard a very amused voice chiming down the hall on the other side of the door.

“Good afternoon, Spencer.”

I debated not opening the door and freeing Spencer from the unbelievably uncomfortable position he’d just found himself in, but ultimately decided it was too cruel. Still, the stalling had taken up enough time that the poor guy felt compelled to reply.

And, of course, the only thing he could think to say was a pathetic, high pitched, “Hi.”

Somehow managing to contain the absolutely riotous laughter I felt in my gut, I opened the door with the straightest face I could muster.

It wasn’t enough. Spencer saw the pleasure I took in his humiliation and practically shoved me out of the bathroom to take my place behind the doors. While I found the action endearing in the most awkward way, my roommate was mostly just confused about how the fuck I’d managed to find someone as stupid as me.

“I didn’t know he was coming,” she said once she managed to smile at the silly situation.  

Clearing my throat, I tried to sound sincere in my bullshit apology. “Me either, sorry.”

In a way, I think the fact I couldn’t pull myself together worked in my favor. Normally, she would have scolded me (albeit playfully) for not alerting her of what she might be walking in on, but this time, she just tried to withhold the smile that still stretched over her cheeks despite her best efforts.

“You’re fine,” she sighed, giving in to the desire to go against her usual grumpy demeanor before retreating to her own room. “Have fun, you hooligans.”

Once her door clicked shut, I heard shuffling on the other side of the door next to me. Spencer’s shadow was visible from the light peeking out underneath, and I waited a few more restless seconds before I announced, “You can come out now, Spencer.”

Cautiously, the door creaked open just enough for his head to poke out and confirm that I wasn’t trying to trick him.

“I’ve never been a hooligan before,” he said with a bounce in his step and his eyebrows halfway up his face. To think that he was the same man who threatened to arrest me for existing at a nightclub was, in a word, hilarious.

“Well, good news for you,” I purred, and the sound must have reminded him of my more devilish nature, because his jubilance quickly shifted back to an obvious anxiety. I wrapped my arms around him even when it meant that his muscles tensed, dragging him down so I could whisper in his ear, “I was just about to ask if you wanted to help me play hooky.”

“And do what?”

It felt strange to say that I hadn’t really thought about it. That the second I’d seen him I knew that the day would be good and free and fun. That everything felt so perfectly fine that I didn’t even want to challenge it with a schedule.

Spencer looked at me, his answer apparent in the way he started to relax the longer we stayed wrapped up in a shitty apartment hallway. It didn’t matter what I said. Spencer would have followed me, just like I would have done for him.

And without the angst or uncertainty of what could go wrong, there was only one thing left for us to do. With a shrug and pout, I proposed the riskiest plan we’d had yet.

“Whatever we want.”

—————————————————

| Finale |

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid smut #spencer reid imagine #here to misbehave #h2m #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid series #reid series #spencer reid request #criminal minds self insert #criminal minds smut #dr spencer reid #reid request

[lost-souls-wander]

Hunter x Reader

Chapter 1

It happened very fast, and everything went out of control. One moment humanity was just doing its thing and living in order. The next week however, everything had changed for the worst. All because of some kind of green flue. Don't take me wrong, I was concerned in the beginning, the fear of losing my slightly rhythmic life sure had taken its toll on me, especially after everyone around me started to panic, including my parents.

"HANNA! You cant just leave us! HANNA!-" those were my dads last words to his ex-lover and wife as she had taken the car, and drove off with our supplies and food. Dad was a mess after after what happened. He couldn't properly take care of us anymore, he had lost a lot of sleep in a few weeks time, his behavior also worsened. He was quick to anger, and constantly irritated. So I took it upon myself to learn things on my own as he continued to reign terror on the last of his family. I had snuck out just a few hours before sun rise and grabbed my bike. My fastest form of transport at the moment, and made a quick tour to the library, as usual, but my dad never knew. And it was possibly better this way.It was empty and deserted, I could hear a few inhuman groans here and there but couldn't quite picture what these "zombie" like creatures looked like, our dad was pretty much a helicopter when it came to the outside world when the apocalypse hit and mom left. None was allowed outside the house at all, just him. And he alone went scouting for food and food alone, here and there some materials but never something for us, his children.I could see his state worsening by the day, and considered it top priority to get away as soon as possible with as much knowledge on how to survive as possible. The building of the library was thick with a musty sent of old books and dust, lots of iron too, which I could only guess was blood. I stayed away from the strong scent of iron and focused on getting to the herbology section of the library.In these times mankind forgot that the true power of surviving came from knowledge, no knowledge? No advantage. No advantage? Possibly a gruesome death would follow.My hands brushed the polished wood that kept the books in their place on the shelves, thinking of how many people had touched these books, read through them, and possibly never did something with the knowledge inside. It was a shame really. I wanted to perhaps become member of this society and yet here it was, crumbling away at these un-dead. It saddened me a little, and I was horrified for a while when I heard it. What was I gonna do now? My degree in art and drawing was pretty much useless now. At least I could scavenge for a cabin in the mountains and settle down there, far away from society, where no zombies or humans could reach so I could exist in peace.

I chuckled, a mid-tone raspy chuckle filled my throat and echo'd a little through the empty apocalyptic library as I stopped and continued thinking about what to do and where to go. But first order of business was to get knowledge from the books and find a place to escape to. Grabbing my black old school bag I ripped it open quickly, wanting to fill it with the necessary books and just get out of here, The sounds of the un-dead in the distance was off putting, and I wasn't taking a chance to be caught in the middle of a group of them. I might have not seen them. But I knew damn well that from the clips on TV that those fuckers were fast. And me without my bike? Not so much.

I grabbed the books by pairs, quickly turning them to their back side and skimming through what the book would hold.

Edible herbal plants... Seasonal plants... Look alike's and their dangers... Looked valid enough. It went like this for a few minutes until my bag was full with books about surviving in nature, herbs, and making shelters for the night. Although I doubted it would help against zombie apocalypses it was always good to know how to make something remotely sheltering and how to acquire food from its natural source.

I quickly flung my backpack over my back and quickly took in the noise around me, the hoard had gotten ever so closer, and it started to make me anxious. If I didn't get out of here soon and back home I would be in a LOT of trouble, perhaps more trouble than being chased down the streets by a hoard of zombies. So I speed-walked towards the exit, the broken doors were leaning against the framework that had red and black splotches all over it the doors pretty much being smashed in two pieces by something extraordinary big. A shiver ran down her spine, May did NOT want to know what was big enough to do that.

after leaving the library doors she quickly hid in the bushes, peeking in between the leaves to see there was any danger, the branches poked and prodded at her form, the twigs leaving nasty marks on her clothes and bare skin.

There! in the distance she spotted her bike, old and a bit rusty, but it did the job well, I looked around if there were any zombies walking around and about, the road was clear, and so was the road ahead. It was a bit strange considering I hear an entire group of them just a few minutes ago but that must have been the other side of the building, luckily not the way I needed to go in order to get home.

I got partially up and half crouched/ran towards my bike which was placed against the opposite building in an alleyway, the alleyway was filled with trashcans and bags that had been ripped open by rats and other critters that roamed the streets and needed some food. Not that it was of any use now, it was all rotten and left a horrid stench that made my nose scrunch up in disgust.

I got on my bike and quickly started to get home, it was then that I started to feel like I was being watched. I felt it crawling over my skin that there was something or someone watching me, maybe some of the other survivors? or perhaps a zombie? I didn't want to find out and started to bike a little faster.

And then it happened all so fast, an inhuman growl came from my left and I was flung off my bike, panic setting into my very bones as I felt the bike get out of my grip, my face looked upwards as I saw the dark sky with a few light rays from the sun. I felt the cold harsh ground on my back and the air flew from my lungs as I tumbled down the steep hill, the creature flung with me yelping in surprise at it's own actions, we both rolled harshly down the wall of the construction site that was never finished.

I felt whatever air I had in me leave my body as I harshly was flung onto ground and came to a stop on my back, I groaned in agony face twisting in pain. everything hurt, my shoulders were probably bruised beyond belief and my legs felt like they had been ripped off whilst still being attached to me. And don't even get me started on my head, it hurt like a bitch!

I continued to wallow in my own pain for a brief moment until I heard a scream that sounded like it came from the depth's of hell itself, and a squishing like sound like flesh had been impaled on high impact, until all that was left was sound of screams of pure agony.

I didn't want to look at what had happened, I was in so much pain and the adrenaline was so high in my system that I made a run for the hill and grabbed what was left of my bike and just went, the howls of pain in the background growing fainter and fainter as the black concrete enveloped my mind, the scent of iron in the air was even more noticeable than before, and the distant sound of zombies screaming left me in even more panic than before as I skidded to a stop in front of my house, put my bike back in its place and threw myself over the fence to climb in the tree, and get inside of my room.

I did not come down that day for food or anything else.

That night I laid in bed curled up in fear and confusion, what had attacked me? what was it even? was that a zombie?! panic and fear had settled itself deep into my mind, I did not want to go back to the library in fear of coming across whatever that was, but fear soon turned into a guilty sympathetic feeling as I remembered what had happened to it, it had gotten pierced by metal rods and maybe was there, slowly dying, starving to death. If it even was alive that is.

I shut my eyes, letting my dark room filled with plants and comfortable blankets fall from my vision as I let a restless sleep take over me, for the next up coming week I did not sleep well, only thinking about the creature that might still be stuck there. Waiting for whatever was next to come.

#Left 4 dead #fanfiction #fanfic #zombies #hunter #L4D #l4d #hunter x reader #Chapter 1 #thingie 1 #idk anymore Im just trying at this point #My wattpad failed me and I lost like 1000 words or something #Does anyone want to be tagged when I post the next update??? #also pls say something if you do read this :'D #Quarantine is getting to me

[tundrainafrica]

I've been following your blog for a while now and I love your writing and your meta! I was wondering, do you consider Levi and Hanji's relationship to be romantic in canon? Do you consider it canon that Levi had romantic feelings for Erwin?

Thank you for the ask anon, also, thank you for ruffling my feathers a bit too :D. I’m glad you like my writings and meta and I hope that my works continue to bring you joy. 

The types of questions you asked up there could only lead to the types of answers that can spark ship wars. I mean the dialogue in 136 and the change in kanji for chapter 132 hinting their own ships canon were enough to have Eruri and Levihan shippers bashing each other on twitter tbh. 

Personally, I see the romantic potential for both Levihan and Eruri in the show. That’s why I found myself reading a good number of Levihan and Eruri fics. (But lots more Levihan if it isn’t obvious from AO3 bookmarks and my tumblr title). I mean lots more romantic potential than let’s say.... ereri

Do you consider it canon that Levi had romantic feelings for Erwin? 

I’ll answer this one first. No. I don’t think Levi had romantic feelings for Erwin anywhere on the show. Was there potential for something to bloom? Possibly, that’s why I still read eruri fanfiction. I like exploring the possibility if Erwin wasn’t a little too obsessed with his dream, maybe their relationship could have turned out differently.

In canon, by the time they introduced Erwin, Erwin had already forsaken all romance and I think whatever feelings Erwin had towards romance rubbed off on Levi and their relationship ended up being more professional than anything. Due to Erwin’s one track mind and the position he had taken upon himself. any romantic possibilities between them in canon was just harder to make happen. 

Levi though still had strong feelings towards Erwin. It’s undeniable. Erwin had given Levi purpose to live and direction on where to go next, what to do next so that’s why regardless of whether canon had made it possible or not, this relationship is still very interesting to explore. 

Erwin was more professional and cold than Levi imo and honestly, despite the cold demeanor of his best friend Erwin, Levi was an incredible softie at heart and we’ve seen that side of him multiple times, when he gave Petra’s badge to that one soldier, when he stared at that one mother and child when they were on the wall ready to leave to retake Shiganshina.

We all know Levi begrudgingly wanted that soft side of him indulged and between Erwin and Hange the one more likely to indulge that softie side of Levi was Hange. 

Which brings me to the next question.

Do you consider Levi and Hanji's relationship to be romantic in canon? 

I wouldn’t be obsessively writing Levihan fics if I didn’t see it as romantic in canon. But at the same time, I don’t believe Hange and Levi have been in a relationship since Season 1. My headcanon here is Hange and Levi built that relationship over time and this relationship just rapidly progressed after season 3

It’s incredibly subtle which is one of the reasons people like to pretend it doesn’t exist. Probably because they’re trying to promote another ship or they don’t wanna see romance in AOT

But I don’t think a relationship developing subtly is at all a sign that it can be more platonic than anything else. 

In fact, most healthy relationships and most relationships from a bystanders point of view, develop subtly. Like we were the bystanders in many other developing relationships in real life, I think we, the audience of AOT, were also bystanders watching the subtle development of Hange and Levi’s relationship. 

Let’s think about how we’ve watched relationships develop in real life.  

If we’re not invested, they happen incredibly subtly. These people are just constantly together, then eventually we realize we can’t invite the other without the other, then we realize we can barely get them alone, then we realize the person changed and eventually they drop this bomb saying “by the way, I’m dating this person now.”

This pattern happens way too many damn times among my friends though and people I just randomly watch everyday that it just became so expected for it to develop into romance so eventually, when I’ve seen the formula play through, I tend to lean on the side of ‘yeah, they’re probably togteher or getting there.’

Yeah, I get it, there’s a danger in assuming that people are together. I’ve seen enough romantic relationships develop though to realize that leaning on the side of ‘romantic’ given specific signs is usually the correct assumption. In fact, I have earned a good amount of money irl winning bets with my friends that two people are actually together but are hiding a relationship (or possibly are in denial).

What are some of these signs? 

The way they treat this one person is so glaringly different from how they treat other people 

Through the years, I have lost a lot of my best friends to their boyfriends/girlfriends and as the youngest child, I have watched all seven of my siblings get into a relationship and believe me, a lot of them have a certain line they would draw on what they are willing to do for their close friend or sibling and what they are willing to do for a lover. 

I have seen people in love so willingly have their hand crushed while the person they love has their fingers set back. “Hold my hand as hard as you need to.” I’ve seen my friends take a detour 1 hour away from the destination just to pick up the person they love. And here’s the thing, they wouldn’t have done it for anyone else usually, they would have only done that thing for that one person. 

Yes, okay doormats exist. But even people with doormat syndrome, the threshold of what someone is willing to do for a close friend and for a person they love still differ regardless. In a life or death situation, I think both Levi and Hange would have fought to conserve lives but if we consider small things, like routines, groceries, small favors, I feel like Levi has an incredibly low threshold of what he’d be willing to do for a random person. But Levi still carried her groceries for her so he could meet her with Moblit in the smartpass. Levi still picked her up and waited for her in Season 2 when she was researching the rock. And for Hange, chapter 115 is all the hint you need. I honestly don’t know if Hange would have gone through those lengths for anyone else but selfishly abandoning commander duties for one guy? She practically said screw you to everyone else. 

The way they talk to each other is different.

This is something I notice in real life too. Most people won’t notice when they themselves do it but it’s incredibly obvious for listeners if the listeners look out for it. The tones of people’s voices change when they’re talking to someone they love. For a lot of people, sometimes their voices get a little high pitched. For others, sometimes their voices get a little softer. Just watch when you’re talking to a friend and suddenly their SO calls. (It might not apply to everyone but I find this incredibly common.) Not just tones, speech patterns change or tendencies too. In front of that one person, sometimes people are a little more selfish. Like maybe, they don’t usually say what they want to eat but when the one person asks, they would answer because suddenly they know what they want. 

With Hange and Levi we have the ‘let’s live together’ and the ‘dedicate your heart’ respectively. 

These are two expressions/phrases they would have not used with anyone else. There was probably more in canon, but these are just the most glaringly obvious ones with two pivotal scenes that blatantly show that Hange and Levi do have signs of the above.  

Hange and Levi who are generally very selfless all business people, are suddenly only selfish with the person they love. Hange with “let’s live together?” An injured Levi deciding to rest and sleep despite the fact that they were in a war because Hange was nearby to take care of him?

Those two were suddenly selfish when they were alone with one another?

They are constantly together.

Okay, irl, you can see this when you have all your friends ride in a car together and somehow, it’s always them taking those two seats next to each other. They leave the classroom together. They leave every single dam room together. And it could be subtle or not but they always wait for one another. Yet if one person is not there, they’re the type to just go ahead and leave without giving the room behind them a second look. When someone wants to buy something, the other always has an excuse to come. And oh my god, when you call your friend in the middle of the night to hang, that person is always in their dam house or in their dam room, no breaks. 

And Hange and Levi have their equivalent of this. 

Levi literally picked Hange from her lab in Season 2 while she was injured and he had no need to. 

I think I have made a post where Levi and Hange are shown constantly together but lemme make some points. Even early in canon, why were Hange and Levi introduced riding next to each other, they’re not even in the same squad. Why were they riding out the gate together? Shouldn’t Levi have been with his squad and shouldn’t Hange have been with her squad? 

Yeah sure, maybe they just decided to ride together. But why were they next to each other in the Ilse’s notebook too when they went out the gate? And even when they were going to take back Wall Maria, Levi and Hange were next to each other in the lift, they were back to back on Wall Maria. 

Like the only expedition where they weren’t riding together was when Levi had to protect Eren yo.

“They’re both leaders of course they were together” Mind you, Levi’s position in the military is a special one. He’s the captain of a special operations squad and not at all a squad leader so he shouldn’t be riding next to Hange if it were by “leaders” and in the retake Wall Maria, if they were divided by “leaders” why didn’t Hange take the lift with the other squad leaders? Why wasn’t she back to back with the other squad leaders on top of Wall Maria? 

Why did she pick to hang out with Special Ops squad Captain Levi of all people, in every. Single. Damn. expedition. Scene. 

And don’t even get me started on post Season 3 man. They’ve been inseparable since Erwin died.  

They literally come in a set. 

And you kinda realized your friends are in love when you wanna invite one of them out and you realized you kinda have to invite their special little friend by default. 

And Hange and Levi are just like that too, 

Hange and Levi have always come in a set. In fan art, in those advertisements, Hange and Levi are always next to each other. In those fan audiobooks, smart passes, there are always Levihan crumbs. Attack on Titan Chuugakkou was literally a testament to the canonicity of Levihan since in that show, they didn’t even hide anything, Levi and Hange were always next to each other. (I think Hange actually ended up living with him towards the end?) Post Season 3, I don’t even think there were many seasons where Levi and Hange were apart and when they were apart it was more of for duty than anything else. 

Hange was always with him when she could, despite her duty as commander. Given their circumstances, they wouldn’t even be together a lot if they didn’t make the effort too. 

Especially towards the end, 126 - 132, the few times Hange did leave Levi behind were for commander duties but Hange never left Levi for the lulz. And also, in 132, Levi was magically able to walk when Hange finally left him behind, and Levi could barely walk in 132, yet he still pushed himself to stand up, walk toward her and attempt to stop her. 

In fact, Hange’s first scenes were next to Levi and Hange’s last scenes were also next to Levi “See you later Hange.”

And I think the huge efforts they put to being together despite their circumstances says a lot already. Hange and Levi’s treatment of each other and their being together constantly in general is a huge testament to the canonicity of their romance. 

Sure, there were no ‘I love yous’. But really, before our irl friends who were in love actually came out to us, maybe months or even years after we’ve watched them be joined at the hip, were there really ‘I love you’s  between them or did we all just place bets on it because they were just being too glaringly obvious about it in how they treated each other? 

#levihan #levi x hange #levi x hanji #meta

[headinthestaticsky]

The Dusk Calls for me: Jasper Hale x Fleur Swan, Chapter 14

AUTHOR’S NOTE: ALL the characters in Twilight DO NOT belong to me. ALL RIGHTS GO TO STEPHENIE MEYER

“I can see you clear as yesterday Top down, fingers in the breeze Weavin' through the lights in the sky You said, "Baby close your eyes" And I prayed we would all always Hold on to this feeling, stronger, faster Faster.”

Kwamie Liv, Angel Haze: Pleasure This Pain.

I couldn’t remember much of the ride to the airport, nor did I remember much of the plane ride. I was in shock, paralyzed with worry and fear. Not for me per-say but, My dad, the Cullens, they were all at risk. I couldn’t stand the fact that any of them would be killed because of me. I wished my dreams could’ve predicted this, that I had somehow acquired the ability to see the future like Alice did. I could only predict death it seems... I hadn’t dreamed of anyone getting killed. Maybe it was a good sign, we would be fine. Yes, I would convince myself that... I hadn’t dreamed of anyone dying, we would be fine. 

The only thing I could remember was Bella constantly calling mom, she wouldn’t talk to me or look at me. I felt the same tension I always felt when I was around her a few months ago. I was livid with her, not one call to dad... not one. She clearly didn’t give a damn about his safety either, she was ready to abandon him. Throw him into the wolves to save herself... that selfish side to her had never left it seems. I pulled out my phone again, texting dad.

“Made it to phoenix, we’re safe... getting a ride to a hotel now. I haven’t changed her mind yet. I love you and miss you.” 

I read the text again, wishing the contents of it were true. I wanted to be safe, I wanted to be back home. I wish I was sitting across from dad in the diner talking amongst ourselves. I wish I was driving down the forest going to see the Cullens. I wanted to attempt to beat Alice at chess, to joke around with Emmett and Dean. To have heart to hearts with Esme who was more of a mother to me than Renee had ever been. I wanted to be with Jasper, wrapped in each others arms doing random things together. But, I had to come back to reality... I might not be able to do those things... ever again. 

The hotel looked nice and comfortable but I couldn’t stand the heat of Arizona. It was sickening, the hot air struggled to get into my lungs. The rainy weather of Forks sounded wonderful right now. Dean and Alice got us a hotel room and eagerly brought us up to it. I had a feeling they thought we would be fully safe in there. I put my bag down at the side of my bed and clasped on it, my exhaustion was setting in. Bella had sat on the one next to me and signed. She sounded annoyed to me.

“I didn’t want to come here, I wanted to be with Edward.”

I lifted my head and stared at her... I wasn’t going to snap... maybe she was just scared and was lashing out at people... yeah that was it. 

“I’m really sorry this is happening Bella, It must be really hard to be away from Edward.”

“Yeah it is! If you hadn’t said anything...”

“Look this isn’t either of our faults. If we’re going to get pissed at anyone, it’s James.”

Bella looked at, she knew I was right... I could see it in her face. But, she couldn’t admit it right now and just scoffed and went into the lounge area of the hotel room. She was making this more difficult, I wanted to snap at her just as much as she was angry with me. We’re falling back into the dark hole of resentment, it was suffocating. 

“Fleur? Could you come in here for a second?” Alice asked

I groaned slowly raising myself up from the bed, I went into the lounge room, Alice and Dean looked at me sympathetically. 

“How ya holding up?” Dean asked.

“I’ve been better.”

“Look, you’re going to be okay.” Alice said.

“It’s not about me guys, It’s everyone back at home... They could get hurt, and I can’t do a thing about it.”

“They can handle themselves Fleur, I’ve lived with them for decades... the know what they’re doing.” Dean said.

“But what about dad, I know he’s hurting right now.” 

“He’s going to be fine Fleur, I promise besides, Esme and Rosalie will be down there with him as soon as they leads the tracker away.” Alice said

“You guys are right... could we get something to eat, I am absolutely starving.”

“Sure, I’ll order room service.” Alice replied.

Room service had come, the food was devoured quickly. The nerves were still lingering in the back of my mind but I knew I would just have to have faith in everyone back at Forks. We were all sitting in silence, Bella was facing away from all of us, she looked tense. I heard Alice gasp and my heart sunk to my stomach... she had a vision and I knew it wouldn’t be good.

“What’s wrong?” I said.

“What do you see, Alice?” Dean asked.

“The tracker... he just changed course.”

“Oh on.” I said.

Bella’s head whipped around coming to sit next to Alice.

Dean grabbed a piece of paper and a pencil. He put it in Alice’s hand, she then started drawing where the tracker was going.

“So the tracker is going to be at a... Ballet studio?” Bella inquired.

“You’ve been here?” Alice asked.

“Yeah, I took lesson as a kid, the school had an archway just like that.” Bella added.

“Is the school here in Phoenix?”

“Yeah..” Bella’s phone began to ring, she went to the balcony and closed the door, clearly wanting privacy.

“If the school is here in Phoenix... he probably going to use the place as a trap in some way.” I said.

“Are you sure?” Alice asked.

“Yeah I mean... why the hell would he go to a ballet studio other than the fact that he was trying to find Bella and I.”

“We better leave then, get Bella when she is done and meet us down in the lobby.” Dean ordered.

“Yeah... I will.” 

The pair then left quickly, going to check out. I had just grabbed my back when my phone had rang.

“Hello?”

“Fleur, the tracker... he changed course.” Jasper said, he voice was dripping with worry.

“I know Alice just saw, we plan on leaving soon.”

“I’ll be coming down to find you as soon as I can. Your dad is safe still. We can go anywhere you want as long as it’s safe.”

“My phone’s about to die... I have to go. Love you, please, stay safe.”

“I will, love you too.”

I sat in the room, my body stuck in it’s place. He was coming here... we didn’t have much time to get out. Bella had burst through the balcony door, worry etched all over her face.

“Fleur we need to go, we need to go right now. James has mom, in the ballet studio.”

“Bella, calm down... I think it’s a trap.”

“Like hell it is I heard her over the phone. She kept saying my name she sounds terrified.”

“Think about this Bella... Alice just saw James change his course to that studio... it’s a lure Bella he’s going to kill you.”

“How selfish can you be Fleur!?”

“Excuse me!?”

“Yeah you heard me, this entire time all of this has gone down you’ve been trying to convince everyone you’re right.”

“I said two things Bella, I’m not trying to get people to follow me blindly... I use context clues... It’s been working for me these past 17 years!”

“I mean you just had to butt in that we had to go back to Charlie, you made Edward change his mind about taking me to Vancouver, and now you’re trying to convince me that mom isn’t in any danger at all! How selfish can you be?”

“YOU...” My hands had begun to shake, I pointed a finger at her hitting her in the chest.

“YOU, ARE OFFICIALLY THE BIGGEST HYPOCRITE I HAVE EVER MET IN MY LIFE. YOU WERE GOING TO LEAVE DAD ALL ALONE WHILE A VAMPIRE WAS CHASING US... DO YOU REALIZE THAT IF HE DIDN’T SEE YOU LEAVE THAT HOUSE DAD WOULD BE DEAD?! AND DON’T YOU DARE TELL ME I MADE EDWARD DO A DAMN THING, HE IS A GROWN ASS MAN... A 108 YEARS OLD TO BE EXACT... HE CAN DO ANYTHING HE WANTS TO DO. AND IT’S NOT “CHARLIE” IT’S DAD!”

“I am going down to that studio whether you like it or not.”  

Before I could get another word in she stormed off. Not matter how pissed I was at her... I couldn’t leave her alone in that studio. I would have to find a way to get there without Alice or Dean noticing me. I snuck my way down to the hotel lobby, I looked around for Bella, she was no where in sight. 

“She moves quick... I’ll give her that.”

Alice and Dean had just made it to the front of the line to check out. That was when I made a run for it. I made out, the sun already blistering my skin even if it was 8:49 PM. I ran to the nearest taxi.

“Hello, where can I take you today?”

“Mimi's School of Dance, please.”

“Of course ma’am.”

I remember the name of that school by heart. I had begged my mother to go when I was younger but, she never let me.

FLASHBACK...

“Oh c’mon mommy please?”

“NO, that is my final answer!”

“Why, Bella gets to go?”

“Because you’re way too lanky, you’d look like a dying deer out there!”

I had looked up at here, tears were spilling down my face.

“Daddy says I look beautiful.”

“Well there’s a reason why I left him... he has no sense to him what so ever.”

“I asked why I couldn’t go... not to get insults hurled at me.”

“Maybe if you’d just keep your mouth shut you wouldn’t have to worry about now would’t you? You’re just like your father... you never know when to shut up!”

“I hate you.” I said. I turned and ran back upstairs, Bella was looking over the corner of the room. A smirk was plastered on her face.

“She’s right you know... you would look like a dying deer out there.”

I didn’t even engage in her conversation, I just slammed my door shut. I didn’t come out for the rest of the day.

END OF FLASHBACK.

I stared out the window, the same mantra going through my mind.

“Just let me get there quick enough, please.”

#jasper hale x oc #jasper hale x reader #jasper hale #rosalie hale #edward cullen #alice cullen #esme cullen #carlisle cullen #emmett cullen #bella swan #twilight #twilight saga

[writingshae]

Bring the House Down

biker!ares x madam!aphrodite

Summary: Ares and Aphrodite’s relationship has been tumultuous for centuries. Things had become more tense when he took to the road to lead a biker club while she stayed behind is Los Angeles to open up the most exclusive sex club with Dionysus. The time apart has always strained their relationship, but what happens when they find themselves reunited?

taglist: @persephone-rps for cowriting and @just-the-hiddles for test reading

words: 3.7K 

warnings: smut, smut, smut. 18+ please

---

Aphrodite was livid. In the centuries that she had known Ares, she didn't believe that he still had the nerve to show such disrespect. Both her and Dionysus had been running the most successful and exclusive sex club in Los Angeles and she imagined that Ares would be present to celebrate her success, especially given that his men and women were present and in attendance. Granted, the two of them had been off and on for eons, but she felt that she deserved more respect than what was given. She managed to convince one of his gang members to disclose the God of War's location before taking her leave from the club. She barged into the motorcycle club and glared in every direction before she finally found him. "Why the fuck are you not at my club?"

For as long as Ares had been alive, he had never found somewhere he enjoyed more than the lively city of Los Angeles. The mortals living here were a bit unfriendly and rude, which made them the easiest targets for the God of War. He found pleasure in animosity and revelled in the chaos. It was only fitting that Ares started up a very notorious motorcycle gang. It gave him the opportunity to delegate a group of unruly men and women to act on his every whim. The Outlaws were highly respected and, in some aspects, held more authority than the police.

Ares was sitting at the bar in the Outlaws clubhouse, drowning his nagging thoughts about Aphrodite and her damn sex club she ran with Dionysus. There wasn’t enough whiskey in the world, though. Especially when the blonde Goddess of Love stormed in. He turned his head slowly to look at her, much too familiar with her outbursts after centuries of knowing each other.

“Why the fuck are you in my club?” He retorted with a scoff. “Tell me, gorgeous.. Why in Tartarus would I want to watch those mortals fawn over you? None of them are half the man that I am and I know you are more than aware of that.”

She rolled her eyes. Of course, the mortals of Los Angeles fawned over her, men and women alike. She was Aphrodite and she fed off of their adoration. The more they prayed and fawned over her, the more power she had. It was why it was a genius idea to set up shop with Dionysus. Everyone was looking for an escape in the alcoholic haze and the search for love. 

"I'm in your club because you're being a giant asshole by not coming to see me," Aphrodite retorted with a pout, trailing her fingers down his muscular arm. "Because they fawn over me but they can never have me. They can't handle me. As if I would bring myself down to their level and consort with them. Please. I'm not Zeus. But you... I was waiting for you. You insult me by not joining me in my temple."

It had been centuries of this little back and forth with Aphrodite. Just like the mortals, he was captivated by her beauty and he just had to have her, no matter what; however, unlike the mortals, he was a god who was able to somewhat resist that charm of hers. At least that’s what he constantly told himself. In all honesty, that was only true when she wasn’t around him because right now, he began to feel an overwhelming desire for Aphrodite. He turned in his stool quickly, grabbing ahold of the blonde’s wrist that was ghosting over his arm, his eyes moving up and down her body. She was always dressed to impressed and tonight was no exception. 

“Oh, my goddess,” he smirked softly, standing up. He gently but forcefully pushed her up against the bar counter, one of his hand resting on her hips. “I have a feeling I could make it up to you one way or another...” Ares’ smirk grew as his other hand moved up, tilting her head back as his mouth found its way to her neck.

Aphrodite was high maintenance. She could admit to that, but as a result, she demanded to be woo'd, which was not exactly the war god's style. He was rough and hard and their lovemaking always resulted in bruises. She enjoyed the rough sex, but she wanted more than that. Ares was just never one to commit, rather staying on the war path and building up his army. She leaned her head back, looking bored already with his antics. "You have a feeling? I have a feeling that you are all talk and no action," she prodded, poking holes at his ego. She knew that he would delight in her image. Who wouldn't? She was the most beautiful goddess and she had dressed in his favorite color lingerie and a skin-tight dress with a high slit.

Ares couldn’t help but to groan against her smooth skin. She always knew exactly how and when to push his buttons and tonight was no exception. Part of him wanted to push her away, tell her to go back to her precious sex club and Dionysus; however, he felt his desire for her increasing by the second. He wondered if she was using some of her powers on him and the thought angered him. Though, he figured he would channel that anger in a way that benefited them both. “What is it that you want, Goddess?” He inquired with a raise of his brow, eyes scanning up and down her perfect body donned in a tight little dress. “Do you want me to tell you how beautiful you are? How no mortal or goddess in Olympus could ever amount to your beauty? Hm?” His hands smoothed up and down her sides. “Do you not hear that enough from your followers? Or will you finally admit that my attention is what you desire most in the world?”

She could have easily used her powers on him; however, it took out the fun from their back and forth. Aphrodite enjoyed the games and enjoyed the wrath that she could draw from him just from making him second guess himself. She felt herself get wet just from hearing him sing her praises and her skin glowed from the power it gave her. “My followers, they see me and my beauty, but not like you can,” Aphrodite purred as she pressed her pelvis against his. “Your undivided attention is what I desire most in the world and I am no fool. I know that is one desire that will never be fulfilled.”

Ares couldn’t help but to smirk at the way her skin glowed from his compliments and he truly meant every word of it. Even after centuries and even after having different lovers, there was always something that drew the two of them towards one another. Take Los Angeles for example; Ares would never admit to it, but Aphrodite was part of the reason he went there. The warfare was just an added bonus. “That is very true,” his voice was deep with desire for the goddess. “Oh my gorgeous, breathtaking, absolutely radiant goddess... You have my undivided attention right now, don’t you?”

Aphrodite hummed with happiness as her fingers danced over the skin that she had access to. She loved seeing him after a war, all built up and strong. It made her even more proud when she could bring him to his knees and see how weak she could make him. "I do... but I always want more," she leaned in, lips barely grazing the stubble on his cheek. "Are you god enough to give me more?"

It was almost as if Ares was a completely different being when he was around Aphrodite. The affect she had on him without even using her powers was mind blowing and it didn’t take the war god to be reduced down to a man who was putty in her hands. His hands couldn’t help the way they explored her body until they slipped past the slit of her dress to grab her backside. Her words started a fire inside him and he let out a dry chuckle before smacking her bottom. “I think we both know that I am, Aphrodite,” he smirked widely, his hand soothing over her probably slightly sore ass cheek. “Tell me what it is you want me to do to you. And I will gladly oblige.”

She withdrew her hands from him, slowly unzipping the side of her dress until she could peel the dress off of her body, allowing the material to fall to the floor and reveal the blood red lingerie beneath. Only he was allowed to lay hands on her like he had. No one else was allowed to treat her quite as roughly, the action sending lightning through her. "Worship me..." she said, hoisting herself onto the bar counter and spreading her legs open for her. "Show me how much of a true god you are."

The corners of his lips curled up into his signature smirk and he reached a hand up to run it through his hair. Worshipping her would be easy. It was already something he consistently did, just not quite as openly or vocally as her followers. He licked at his lips as the dress fell to the floor of the clubhouse and he had to take a deep breath. The lingerie left little to the imagination and he was sure she coordinated the colors purposely. Ares stood in front of her, his large hands gripping at her porcelain thighs, spreading them a little more. “Your wish is my command, my beautiful goddess,” his smirk grew as he dipped his head down, peppering kissing up her legs teasingly, wanting to hear her beg for him.

Aphrodite spread her legs wider, loving that they had the motorcycle club all to themselves. Granted, she didn't mind having an audience, but she knew that since it was Ares, they would probably cause plenty of wreckage that evening. She ran her fingers through his hair, yanking on it when she began to grow impatient with him. After centuries of their lovemaking, he knew everything that drove her crazy. Yet they still had ways to keep things steamy between them. "What are you doing?" she groaned as she tugged on his hair again. "You're taking too long."

Ares knew that the rest of his gang were going to be out all night. They had an exceptionally satisfying run-in with a rival gang and needless to say, the men had a great time satisfying their urge for violence. Brought to them by the God of War himself. Ares felt more powerful today because of this feat as well. And he looked forward to wrecking the clubhouse with the goddess. He smirked against her thighs, letting out a chuckle. “Oh? I thought you enjoyed the foreplay, beautiful?” He raised a brow at her, “Whatever then. You asked for it.” Ares tore off her lacy underwear, discarding them quickly. The god wasted no time in swirling his tongue around her sensitive nun of nerves, lapping at it quickly.

As expensive as the underwear was, she would be fine with how he discarded her underwear. During all of their trysts, there was always some sort of casualty in her wardrobe. That was no matter. She had centuries' worth of wealth and the club had been more successful than she could have ever predicted. She could always buy more. Aphrodite pulled at his hair and moaned as he paid the most attention to her pearl. Mortals were selfish and cared only for their pleasure, but not Ares. While he certainly got his, he made sure that she was fully satisfied. "I enjoy foreplay, not teasing..." she murmured through her moans.

Ares didn’t think twice about the lingerie. He was sure he could make it up to her by a shopping trip if she were upset about it. The war god gripped at Aphrodite’s thighs as his tongue made expert work on her clit. With other lovers, Ares wasn’t nearly as attentive; however, this goddess brought out a side of him no one else had ever witnessed. “Fine, fine. No more teasing..” He hummed against her core, moving a hand up to press two fingers against her entrance and sliding them in easily. He began pumping them in and out, curling them up inside of her skillfully.

Aphrodite let out a purr of satisfaction as he filled her with rough fingers, her hips shifting to allow his fingers fill her to the hilt. She had missed this confidence and desire that no other mortal or even god could satisfy. Ares was hers no matter what they said about their relationship. They always came back to each other in spite of their wandering. “Yes, Ares.... so strong. I can feel your victory flow through you,” she moaned as she sensed the aura of a battle waged and won.

The sounds emitting from the goddess’ lips was like music to Ares’ ears. He couldn’t help but to smirk against her core, swirling his tongue around her pearl a few more times before his free hand moved up, tearing away her bra. “Mine. You’re all mine,” Ares grunted as he moved up, attaching his mouth to her breast now. He wasn’t a possessive god unless it came to Aphrodite. She was his one weakness and she absolutely knew it. His fingers continued pumping in and out of her, his speed increasing to help coax her first orgasm.

She was now completely naked on the bar counter while he was still dressed. It wasn't fair, but before she could say anything, Aphrodite could feel her orgasm wash over her. She threw her head back, a strong aura radiating out from the two of them as she hit her high. "My love, you are far too dressed for this occasion," she cooed, brushing her fingers through his hair and trailing them down his shoulders and arms.

Ares felt a strong sense of victory when he coaxed the goddess to her first release, a smirk playing upon his lips knowing that was just the first of many for the night. He pulled away from her core and licked at his lips and fingers, savoring the taste of Aphrodite. He hummed in approval, his smirk growing at her words. “Undress me then, my ethereal goddess,” he muttered as his lips found their way back to her skin. He couldn’t help himself when he was around her and it absolutely showed.

Aphrodite slid off the bar and stood in front of him, pushing his leather jacket off of his large shoulders. There were so many layers to deal with, but she took care removing each one, not removing her gaze from his even as she undressed him. It dragged on but finally, he was as bare as she was. Her slender fingers wrapped around his shaft, tugging on it lightly. “Have you been saving all of this for me?”

Ares couldn’t help but to smirk as the goddess removed his clothing one by one. It was painstakingly slow, but he knew if he had patience, it would certainly be worth it in the end. The god let out a groan as her fingers wrapped around his thick shaft and he couldn’t help but to buck his hips into her hand. “Of course I have.. No mortal woman is even worth a second glance. None of them are as gorgeous as you, my love.” he smirked, watching her aura grow at his words.

She was practically glowing from the love and attention and compliments that she was receiving from Ares. He was a smart god, knowing all the right things to say to make her happy. Now whether or not it was true had yet to be seen, but she didn’t care in the moment. Aphrodite continued to pump him despite the fact that he probably couldn’t get any harder. “Mine... all mine...” she purred, repeating the same words that he had used when he brought her to the edge the first time.

Ares was filled to the brim with desire and he was sure the Goddess of Love was more than aware of that. Despite having this little back and forth for centuries, he never found himself bored with Aphrodite. In fact, he was certain he had developed somewhat of a soft spot for her. Would he ever tell her that, though? Absolutely not. Not in a million years. Ares had a reputation to uphold. He licked at his lips harshly before picking the blonde up by her thighs, laying her down on a nearby table and spreading her legs. “Tell me how badly it is that you want me,” he smirked, rubbing the tip of his member up and down her wet folds.

Aphrodite and Ares were soulmates. That much was certain. In spite of the nature of their relationship, they always kept coming back together. No one could satisfy her the way that Ares could. But their respective life missions were the only things that kept them apart. "I want you and only you. See how I shine for you?" she teased, pulling her legs apart wider for him. Her hand snaked down the valley of her breasts over her pearl, teasing herself as he teased her.

Ares couldn’t help but to groan and lick his lips as he looked down at her. Aphrodite was truly a sight to be seen and the war god was grateful that he was the only one who got to see this side of her. Even if she had other lovers, Ares knew she didn’t put on quite a show for them like she did for him. “That’s what I like to hear,” her murmured before sliding inside of her without warning until he bottomed out, inhaling sharply at the feeling it provided him. He let her get used to his thickness before thrusting in and out of her relentlessly.

She couldn’t help herself when it came to Ares. Aphrodite moaned as soon as he filled her, wrapping her legs around his torso. As experienced as she was, his size still kept the feeling tight and full. She gripped at the table below her, knowing that they were going at it with their pace that the table would break below them. “Ares... yes, my love....”

The feeling he got with Aphrodite was similar to the one he got when he was at war. He feels powerful and in control - like the entire world was at his beck and call. His aura radiated around him in red hues and he pushed her slender legs back, his thrusts hitting her at a different angle now. His thrusts remained unrelenting as he bent down, his mouth attaching to her breasts, paying each of them equal attention.

The auras of the power that they drew from their coming together filled the entire room. Aphrodite didn't hold back the moans of pleasure as her nails raked back down his shoulders. She felt her body quickly build up to her next peak as he continued to rail into her. The newer angle was unrelenting and she couldn't hold back for anything.

Ares was a generous man when it came to pleasuring Aphrodite. Mostly because he found pleasure in it himself. He could tell she was about to reach her next orgasm. After centuries of being intimate with the goddess, he knew her body almost better than his own. “Don’t hold back, gorgeous...” The war god peppered his kisses up her neck, nibbling at her ear lobe. “Come for me... Show me who you belong to..”

Each touch of his was electric and she couldn't have enough of him. If they didn't have their own missions to accomplish, they could probably spend the rest of their lives tangled in each other. "You... I'm yours..." she moaned as she was pushed off to yet another orgasm. "Ares!"

There were no words to describe the amount of pride he felt as he coaxed Aphrodite to her next orgasm. It was a feeling similar to winning a war and perhaps that was what drew him to the goddess in the first place. She made him feel things that he otherwise would have never felt before. He loved hearing her scream his name in pleasure and he made sure to rub her pearl as she rode out her orgasm. He was getting close himself, but he wanted to ensure his goddess was completely satisfied.

Aphrodite wrapped her legs around him as he pushed her over the edge, another burst of energy released throughout the room, rattling the walls. The two of them drew immense power every time they came together and this was no exception. Her hands clung to him as though he would fall out of existence if she let go, her walls clenching around his hardness with each ripple.

The smirk that played on Ares’ lips was not one that Aphrodite was unfamiliar with. Throughout their relationship, they had gotten to know every nook and cranny of each other’s bodies and how they react to certain things. The god of war was overflowing with his crimson aura and he felt as if he could take on every god in all three kingdoms. This was a feeling only elicited from making love with the goddess of love herself. His thrusts were getting more and more reckless and soon he was withdrawing from her warm ness and finishing on her stomach.

Aphrodite felt his seed, warm on her stomach. He was playing it safe, which she couldn’t blame him for. They didn’t need to deal with another god in the world to compete with, even if it was their own child. She swiped a finger across her stomach and sucked on her finger. She savored his taste, knowing that this would not be the end of their love making for the evening. They would have plenty of time to rest and recover. Aphrodite sat up, kissing his neck. “Aren’t you glad I got angry and came all the way over here to chew your ass out?” She purred.

#ares | aphrodite #ares x aphrodite #lore olympus smut #greek gods smut #greek mythology smut

[chaoticpuff17]

A Dangerous Game

part 4

masterlist

Never in Y/N’s life had she run so far so fast. She almost thought her heart would explode but whether that was from the exertion or from the panic she didn’t know. The only thing she consciously knew was that she had to get away. She had to get away quickly.

She ducked into a coffee shop and ripped out her phone hurriedly searching for Eun-ho’s number. Each ring of the phone seemed like a knife to her heart, and she could only pray that Eun-ho would answer his phone while constantly peeking out of the window in hopes that neither RM or his men had followed her.

“Y/N?”

She nearly sagged to the floor in relief. “Oh thank God.” She sobbed.

“Y/N? Y/N, what’s wrong?” came the confused voice from the other end of the phone.

“He knows.” She spoke hurriedly panic coloring her tone and drawing the eyes of the patrons in the coffee shop. “I was in the market and he was there. He knows.”

“Who knows?” he asked and one could practically hear him scratching his head in confusion. “And what does he know?”

“He was in the market, and he knows I’m trying to go home. He has someone at the station. He knows everything.”

There was a pause that seemed to go one for ages before he spoke again hushed and suddenly just as worried as she was. “He has someone in the department? Our department?”

“Yes.” She hissed gazing out the window keeping a sharp eye out for RM, Jimin, or any of his lackeys that she might be able to identify, anyone even remotely suspicious really.

“Where are you?” he asked and she could hear movement on the other end of the phone. “I’ll come get you.”

“I’m at a coffee shop near the market. I… I don’t know what to do. I just ran out of there. He could still be in the market. He could be coming here. I don’t know I just… I panicked. I ran!”

“Stay where you are. I’m coming to get you.”

“Hurry.” She begged. “Eun-ho!” she suddenly yelped just before he could hang up.

“Y/N?”

“Don’t tell anyone. I don’t know who he has on the inside.”

“I promise. Just stay there, and I’ll be there soon.”

She didn’t know how long it took Eun-ho to get there but it felt like hours. Each moment moved by at a snail’s pace. She sat there staring out the window with her heartbeat pounding in her ears like a drum counting off the endless seconds. Each moment that Eun-ho wasn’t there was another moment were RM or his goons could find her and take her away to whatever fate RM had cooked up for her. He was a man with a plan and somehow over the course of a few weeks and two meetings, he had decided that she was a part of his plans.

What could he want with her though? She wasn’t of any use to him. She didn’t have connections or money. She had herself and a cat back home that looked more like a loaf than a cat, and she doubted RM’s interest was in her loaf of a cat. What was his interest?

Marcus was dead, and most of his associates were in prison or dead. And Marcus wouldn’t have had enough influence to even be noticeable to a man like RM so it couldn’t have been because of him or his former partners. Jackson. She needed to call Jackson.

She dialed the number with shaking fingers and waited for him to pick up. One ring. Two rings. Three rings. She was about to give up hope when the familiar voice echoed through the speakers. “Hello?”

“Jackson!” she cried out in relief thankful that the man had answered.

“Y/N? What are you doing calling here? Are the cops over there not taking good care of you? Need me to beat someone up?” the man joked not knowing the seriousness of the situation at hand.

“Papillon.” As soon as the word was spoken there was dead silence on the other side of the phone.

“Y/N.” his tone was solemn. He knew just as well as she did what that word represented. Of all the people from her life before, Jackson was the only one she still had contact with, the only one she trusted. “Y/N, what happened? Are you safe? Can you speak freely?” It had been years since either of them had had need of this system, and they had both hoped there would never be a need for it again.  

“I’ve run into a problem, and I’m coming home. If you haven’t heard from me within the next two days, something went wrong, really wrong.”

“Damn it.” He hissed. “I knew sending you over there was a bad idea. “I’m coming to get you.”

“Don’t be an idiot. It’ll take twice as long to get out of here if I wait for you to come.” She shook her head though he couldn’t see it. “I’ll be back as soon as I can get on a plane, but I needed to let you know what was going on.”

“Who is it, Y/N? Who did those bastards get you mixed up with?” he growled.

“I don’t know what his real name is, but they call him RM. And he’s…” she paused taking in a shuddering breath. “Jackson, he’s worse than Marcus ever was. The guy’s like a freaking James Bond villain.”

“Two days, Y/N. If you’re not home in two days, I’m coming to get you myself.”

“Okay.” She whispered relieved just to hear his voice, relieved that he knew.

“Two days, Y/N.” he sighed heavily, and she could practically hear the cogs turning in his head as he tried to work out a plan. “Be safe, Y/N.”

“I will.” She promised as the phone clicked signaling the end of the call.

She took another deep breath and peeking out the window again to see if Eun-ho was there yet. Having Jackson know the situation had settled her racing heart somewhat, but she wouldn’t be able to breathe gain until Eun-ho was here and she was safely on a flight out of Korea, far away from RM because whatever he wanted from her it couldn’t be good. God, how she wished she had never come here.

She could have been home. She could have flat out refused to come, and she should have. She never should have let them talk her into this. She knew it was idiotic, but then again maybe she was an idiot. She’d been an idiot all those years ago when she’d first become involved with Marcus and she was an idiot now.

“Y/N!” Eun-ho asked walking into the coffee shop looking every bit as frazzled as she felt. Granted she probably looked just as frazzled.

She rushed towards him and pulled him right back out the door. “We need to go.”

The rest of the day was a blur, a horrible blur. Every moment was spent glancing over her shoulder to ensure that she wasn’t being followed by a man she was coming to firmly believe was the devil. There were plane tickets to buy, suitcases to pack, a landlord to tell that the apartment would no longer be in use. And all of this had to be done with just the two of them because who else could they trust?

They knew that there was someone in the department who worked for RM, but was it only one? She wasn’t entirely sure that she could trust Eun-ho, but she didn’t exactly have another choice.

“Y/N? We need to go to the airport.”

They had been extremely lucky to get onto a flight out of Korea on the same day, and neither of them was willing to risk being late to the airport especially for an international flight especially when it was already so late at night.

“I know. I’m coming.” She called after him pulling her suitcase behind her as she went hurrying to the car.

Within the next few minutes they had packed up the car and were on their way to the airport.

“Deep breathes, Y/N ssi.” He smiled at her though neither of them found the gesture particularly comforting. “You’ll be on a plane and out of here in two hours.” He promised. Though she couldn’t shake the feeling of dread that had settled like a rock in her stomach.

There was a chance no matter how careful they had been that RM knew exactly where she was and what she was doing. There would always be a chance with that man. She might not have known the man well, but she knew that with such absolute certainty that it was ingrained on her soul. There would always be a part of her that even when she was safely home with her loaf of a cat and Jackson that was looking over her shoulder for RM just like she would always be looking over her shoulder for the remnants of Marcus’ old empire.

“You’ll go home, and he’ll lose interest.” That should have been reassuring. That fact should have been like a weight lifted from her shoulders, but it wasn’t all because of that dread that had made its home within her.

“What does it mean?” she suddenly asked looking over at him. “The word he called me before I ran. What does it mean?”

Even though it was dark she could still see the way he tensed his hands gripping the steering wheel like his life depended on it. “It doesn’t matter.”

Somehow she was unconvinced. “Eun-ho.”

“It doesn’t matter. Trust me.”

“You’re holding onto that steering wheel like it owes you money. I think it matters.” She glared at him though he couldn’t see it with the way his eyes were glued ahead of him in an attempt to avoid her gaze.

They sat there in a tense silence for a few minutes before he finally relented. “It like dear or sweat heart or honey. It’s a term of endearment.”

The silence returned only heavier this time. “Oh.” She murmured the word barely even a sound as it left her. He was right. She didn’t actually want to know that.

Jagiya. It was her new least favorite word. Knowing that he had called her that sent a shiver of disgust down her spine. Marcus had had pet names for her. Doll. Babe. Bitch. Slut. Marcus had called her a lot of things over their time together not all of them either good or endearing, but she had never hated a pet name more than she had hated jagiya. Or perhaps it was the fact that she hated the man who said it. As much as she had hated Marcus he had never frightened her as much RM did.

“Hey, Eun-ho. That car behind us is really close.” Her gaze was glued to the car riding their tail. “They’re getting closer.”

Everything in her was screaming that something was very very wrong. Eun-ho hummed his agreement and sped up hoping to put some space between them and the SUV behind them.

“Eun-ho.” Her voice warbled as the panic began to rise as the car sped up as well.

“I know. I see them.” He assured her while speeding up a little more.

“Eun-ho!” she shrieked as they collided with the car behind them.

The world was all spinning and screeching tires for a few horrifying seconds. There was screaming but whether it was her own or her companion’s she didn’t know. And then they were still again. She looked over at Eun-ho only to see him still bent over the steering wheel.  Blood was dripping from a cut on his forehead.

The next crash was just as unexpected as the first. It was as though a bull had ran head long into the driver’s side pushing them even further off the road with a sickening crunch a spray of glass. This time she knew the scream was hers before the world was black.

There was a buzzing in her ears, high pitched and annoying. Where was it coming from? Wherever and whatever it was did not make the pain in her head any better, it even seemed to make it worse. it was a harsh throbbing pain spreading out from the crown of her head and working its way back. But it was the buzzing that bothered her most.

She tried to move a hand to her forehead but found herself whimpering in pain instead. The movement had exacerbated both the buzzing and the pain causing instant regret.

“Don’t move, jagiya.” Cooed a voice to the side of her, or at least she thought it was coming from her side.

“Eun-ho.” She groaned out searching for the other passenger, wincing as the buzzing became worse.

“Everything will be alright, jagi.” The voice cooed as she was gently shifted out of the car though the movement still elicited a pained whimper from her. “I know.” He cooed. “Hush, jagi.”

“Eun-ho.” She whimpered again as she was settled into what she assumed was a pair of arms. It was either that or she was floating. The buzzing and the pain made it hard to tell.

“I know, jagi. Everything is going to be fine now. Just sleep.”

And she did.

part 5

#bts #bts fic #yandere bts #namjoon #namjoon x reader #yandere namjoon #mafia namjoon #rm #rm x reader #mafia #mafia au #dark romance #soft yandere

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Top 5 Most Hated Characters

As y’all can see, this week’s T5F is a request sent in by anon. I picked it because I guess at the time I thought it would be fun to explore some of TWDG’s least popular, and most hated, characters while also taking into account characters that I can’t stand. 

These are characters that the vast majority of us don’t like or downright despise for many different reasons. None of us are going out of our ways to defend most of these bastards, and anyone who is I get the impression they’re doing so for the sake of being Different™... though while looking around for info about these characters and what people were saying about them, I did find myself in some odd places.... come across, eh... odd fanart. 

But I guess this is the part where I say this is all in good fun and if you happen to be a legit stan of any of these people, that’s cool. Maybe you can answer some of my questions as to why??

5. Nate 

Okay, when I said that I found myself in odd places, it turns out that Nate actually has a bit of a fanbase. It’s not big or anything, from what I can tell, but big enough for me to question why because I was under the impression that we all agreed that this dude sucks.

Seriously, I would’ve put him higher on this list if I hadn’t discovered this handful of people making fanart for him and claiming him as a comfort character. While I find that an odd choice, you do whatever makes you feel comforted, y’know? Just would like to understand why. 

As for the rest of us, he’s terrible. Every time I go back to 400 days, he’s someone I never look forward to seeing. I’ve even tried not getting in the truck with him while playing Russell’s story, but in true Telltale fashion, you’re forced to drive along with this creep. 

Red flags start going off when Russell’s sharing his story about his previous group, something you can tell left some trauma with him, and Nate is just weirdly fixated on the girl Russell liked. Like yeah okay dude, I get it, it’s the apocalypse and you haven’t had any action for a while but oh my god. 

Then the whole walker thing that almost gets Russell chomped is annoying. Oh, and how could I forget about how it’s implied that he attacked the old couple before and was there to finish them off, which he does no matter what and it’s not great. 

Hell, he even uses the line Russell gave him but it’s worse because crazy eyes. And if you don’t say anything, Nate murders them right there without a thought and then continues to be a real creep. Fuck this guy. 

As the wise Eddie once said, “I don’t what that guy in my life, man!” 

4. The Stranger

Hey, have I ever mentioned how much this dude sucks? 

I don’t even have to tell you why he’s on this list. We all know the obvious reasons-- manipulated and kidnapped Clementine, which caused Lee to get bit by a walker and fucking die. No one here is white-knighting for this dipshit. 

Sure, it sucks what the Stranger went through. He lost his family and that would be enough to drive anyone up the wall. I mean, just look at Kenny. But this dude, okay. Look. Listen. I can only feel so bad for you when you lost your son on a hunting trip that your wife told you not to go on, then when you went looking for him, you literally left the car unlocked and running for anyone to come across. Then you come back and gasp. So your wife leaves you for being a moron... then when you find her dead, you cut off her head and keep it like a damn bowling ball because...??

At least that’s what I get from it. The writers probably should’ve done a better job with explaining what the hell happened but y’know. 

That’s not the only reason no one likes this guy. Oh no, you also add to the pile that the Stranger himself is dull. As a character, the dude is just.... boring. And I get that’s probably what they were going for with the whole “I’m just a guy, but you ruined my life and made me this way.” 

However, when you set him up the way you did with the talks over the walkie and the stalking, I was expecting a bit more personality outta this loaf of soggy bread. But no... boring yet crazy. Interesting combo and I’m afraid it doesn’t work. 

3. Larry

Larry?? On a list of most hated characters?? Nooo...

Yeah, surprise. Larry also sucks. Stop the presses. 

Larry is a pain in the ass to deal with for two episodes, constantly belittling the people around him and treating his daughter like shit. Oh, and don’t forget how he behaves towards Lee even if you try to be as nice as possible. Nope, he doesn’t care, he still thinks Lee is garbage and will continue threatening to reveal Lee’s secret to the group. Who cares if that could fuck up the dynamic and endanger the group? Larry sure doesn’t. 

Until the very end, this dude is just a splinter in the foot. By the time you get to the meat locker and he has a heart attack, you’re not gonna save him because you think he’ll be better if he survives. No, you’re attempting to save him for Lilly and Clementine’s sake, and if you don’t even care about that, you siding with Mr. Family Man to smash his head in. 

Not only is he a soiled diaper, he also don’t have much personality outside of asshole. He has maybe two moments where he’s shown to be just a bit chill? I mean, Lilly tells us that he has a lot of pain and that’s why he’s like this.... but that doesn’t excuse his behavior. 

Oh, and can’t forget that apparently he was obsessed with Lilly leaving the lights on so he let the power get cut, so Lilly couldn’t eat ice cream and had to let her hair air dry like a heathen. Unforgivable. 

So yeah, fuck Larry. 

2. Troy

Ugh, Troy. Fuck this guy. 

No really, out of all TWDG characters, this dude and my #1 pick are my most hated. Can’t stand Troy and the only reason I didn’t do a tie for #1 is because for a split second, Troy does show a tiny bit of humanity when Carver is beating down Carver, but blink and you’ll miss it.

Which had me a little concerned to find a handful of posts about having crushes on Troy and drawing fanart but.... again, I guess you do you? And if you can, please explain why because I honestly don’t understand. 

Just looking at the screenshot of him annoys him. He’s got one of those punchable faces, y’know? 

Anyway, when playing as Clementine, I’m always worried that he’s gonna pop up outta no where and grab her by the neck like he does later in ep3, even though I’ve played s2 a bunch to know that he’s not going to. 

But hell, he doesn’t need any excuse to smack anyone around, and there are a handful of times he can really hurt Clem depending on her choices. 

Not great, dude. 

Can’t say I’m too sorry that Jane shot your dick off. 

1. Badger

Yeah, you guys remember Badger. Y’know.... the man who murdered Mariana then laughed about it, claiming that he enjoyed watching her head explode and would do it again and again if he could? 

That’s what puts him at #1. He may not have the most screen time like Larry or Troy, but when he is around, he’s fucking awful.

He gets joy from killing Mariana, like it’s some sort of sick thrill for him to go around murdering children and other innocent people. 

Remember Francine? Caught her and used her as bait to try and get Javi to come down, and even went as far as to have some fingers cut off. Like, he gets off on destroying people, entire communities.

Shit, he seems to even get off to his own beat down. 

He’s fucking gross and outta everyone on this list, I haven’t found a single person being like “Yeah, he’s garbage but I like him kinda?” like no, you’re such garbage that even the Different™ crowd don’t want you. 

Fuck Badger. 

By the way, if you’ve never had Conrad kill him in your game, I suggest looking it up. It’s pretty good. Gives Conrad a little bit of closure after what happened to Francine, as well as give Javi some closure for Mari’s murder. 

Not a single soul wept for you, Badger. 

---

Dishonorable Mentions

-Joan. She’s boring, forgettable, and no one is out here gushing over her because most of the time, we can’t even remember her name. -Danny from Vince’s story in 400 Days. Y’know, the dude going to prison because he was convicted of SA. I’ll never understand why people go with him over Justin. Justin sucks, too, but not the same level Danny does.  -Lilly in S4. Ugh. That’s a whole other topic for another day. -Arvo, though I guess he has a bit of a following, too

---

Well there ya go. Do you agree or disagree with any of my choices for this list? Or have anything to add? I’m always down to chat.

Have any suggestions for future T5F’s? Feel free to send ‘em in! :D

---

Next week’s T5F Top 5 BROTPs

#twdg t5f #twdg clementine #twdg lee #twdg kenny #twdg lilly #twdg larry #twdg jane #twdg troy #twdg russell #twdg nate #twdg aj #twdg #twdg joan #twdg danny #twdg arvo #twdg conrad #twdg javi #twdg mariana #twdg badger

[crookswithbooks]

How To Seduce A Talking Cat

Day Ten - Bean helps Elfo come up with strategies on how to seduce their favorite demon and Elfo himself continues to be awkward and terrible at most everything.               

Waking up in a pool of sunlight was usually an enjoyable experience for the demon, but in the wintertime the reflections off the snow were enough that he was practically blinded when he first opened his eyes. Luci slowly uncurled from his position on the windowsill, stretching out his back. What he was not expecting was to be met with the waiting eyes of Elfo, head tilted slightly as he watched him.

Luci stifled a strangled yelp, quickly straightening out. “Okay dude, super creepy.”

“You know you look just like a cat when you sleep,” Elfo told him as the demon hopped off the windowsill. “I half expected you to start purring.”

“I don’t know how many times I have to tell you I’m not a cat,” he grumbled, his tail curling in annoyance. “I’m a demon and I’d kill your parents for half a corn chip.”

“But you don’t like corn chips.”

“Exactly.”

“I don’t get it.”

Teasing Elfo was a gamble each time. Sometimes it was as easy as calling him short and sometimes the meaning of his words flew completely over the elf’s head. “You know Elfo, it’s amazing how you’re even less fun in the morning than all the other times of the day. It’s almost impressive in a way.”

“Thank you!”

Luci scampered out the door to go find some drunk scholb to torment, grumbling something about early mornings and annoying elves.

Elfo sighed, flopping back down on the bed. Bean was curled up on her side, having passed out soundly after last night’s shenanigans. Her hair formed a tangled mat around her head and she snored quietly. There had been moments when the sight of her would have set Elfo’s heart aflutter. It still sort of did. Now though, he found his attentions were held by another, more antagonistic force.

“Have you ever been in love?” Elfo asked her distractedly, watching the doorway where Luci’s form had been moments before.

“Mmm… love…” Bean’s murmurings were almost unintelligible, her barely conscious mind slurring her words. “Warm hands… why yes I will join you in your chambers tonight…”

“Like, genuine love,” Elfo continued, oblivious to the fact that Bean was clearly not listening. “Love where you would do anything just to get them to notice you?”

“Do anything…” Bean snorted, pulling her pillow in close so that she was practically straddling the material. “You can do whatever you want to me…”

“But the thing is, the person in question’s not good for you. Like, objectively speaking, just a terrible influence and not a good person to boot. Yet all the same you can’t help falling for their infuriating charms.”

“Boots…” Bean muttered, finding herself more and more awake with every second. “Am I wearing boots in bed?” She kicked them off, groaning as she sat up.

Elfo’s eyes widened with realization. “Oh my goodness. I’m in love with Luci.”

“What?”

Elfo slid off the bed, pressing his hands to the side of his head. “I can’t believe I never realized it before. I just assumed those fluttery feelings in my stomach were hatred, but then I realized they were the same feelings I used to get when I looked at you and I just—”

“Hold up a second,” Bean interrupted, holding up a hand to stop him. This was not the kind of news you wanted sprung on you while dealing with a hangover. “You’re in love with Luci? Luci? The demon? My demon? In love?”

“I think so!” Elfo gnawed on his lip anxiously, not interpreting Bean’s distress. “I mean, now that I think about it, the signs are pretty obvious. I love hanging out with him, whenever he makes fun of me I get all hot and bothered, and sometimes when I look at him I find myself thinking he’s… cute? Like, these aren’t friend feelings, are they?”

“How long have you been in love with Luci?” Bean exclaimed, lost and bewildered at the turn the conversation was taking. “How did I miss this? And why Luci? And why you?”

“I don’t know, a couple months now,” Elfo said in answer to her first question. “At least I think so. It’s hard to pin down. I mean, I’ve always sort of felt this way, if I really track it back, but it’s only recently that I started to be fully aware of it.”

“Am I losing my touch?” Bean gasped. “My best friends were in love and I never realized. I can’t believe it.” She grabbed Elfo’s arm, momentarily pulling him out of his funk and forcing him to look at her. “Well, what are you going to do about it?”

Elfo shrugged uncomfortably, scrubbing a hand through his hair. “I don’t know… I was thinking I would just pine endlessly now that I know how I feel and prolong the inevitable rejection.”

“No, no, no!” It was possibly due to the seven beers she had drunk last night, but Bean found herself weirdly invested in this newfound realization of Elfo’s. She had always found it difficult to navigate her own love life so focusing on someone else’s was a welcome distraction. “You have to tell him.”

Elfo snorted, a derisive noise that shot down any possibility of acceptance. “Please. There is no way that he feels the same way. Luci’s a demon. I’m… well, me. It wouldn’t work.”

Bean folded her legs under her, gripping her hands in concentration. “There’s got to be something…” She racked her brain, digging through her hangover for ideas. After a couple minutes of her doing this and Elfo waiting unimpressed, her eyes shot open with excitement. “I got it! Mistletoe!”

“What?” Elfo frowned. “You want me to grow mistletoe?”

“No stupid.” She stood up, pacing back and forth. “You find a way to get both you and Luci under the mistletoe at the same time, and then once you’ve kissed him you can confess your undying love for him. It’ll be perfect. It always works in those books Derek is constantly reading. I only know because sometimes I use the pages to smoke drugs and accidentally catch glimpses of the words.”

“I don’t know…” Elfo said skeptically. “Who’s to say Luci will even follow the rules of mistletoe? He doesn’t seem like the rule-following type.”

Bean waved a hand, dismissing the idea before it could even take form. “He will.”

“How do you know?”

Bean didn’t answer and Elfo reluctantly followed her as she continued to go through several ideas for their plan.

A day later, Elfo sat at the table in the grand hall with a glass of beer and a stomach full of nerves. Operation Luci-Under-The-Mistletoe was ago, or LUTM as Bean has so affectionately named it. Above him was a mistletoe tied to the rafters. The beer had been Bean’s suggestion, the idea being that Luci would be unable to resist the alcohol and would be forced to sit next to him.

He had been waiting there for nearly fifteen minutes before Luci finally wandered back into the castle. He slipped in through the crack in the doorway, eyes widening as he caught sight of Elfo nervously gripping a glass of shoddy beer. “Oh. Elfo. Hey.”

“Luci!” Elfo exclaimed a bit too loudly. Now that he had named his feelings he found it harder to be around the demon without being awkward. Luci raised an eyebrow and he flushed. “Hey there... bud… how’s your day been?”

“Great. Set two children on fire in front of their parents.” Luci crawled onto the bench, far enough away that he wasn’t technically under the mistletoe. “They screamed for a long time. A couple of times the fire went out and I had to re-light it which was troublesome, but such is the sacrifices I make for art.”

“Geez,” Elfo muttered, queasy just at the thought of it. Of all the people he had to fall for, it had to be a demon. “That sounds… terrible.”

“It was,” Luci agreed dreamily.

“Hey,” Elfo said casually, twisting the bottle on the table in what he hoped was an inconspicuous motion. “I was just getting ready to down a couple of cold ones if you wanted to maybe join me?” He threw in the maybe despite himself, nerves getting the best of him.

Luci examined the cracked bottle containing clearly not cold beer. “Yeah… so, as fun as that sounds, I’m actually good. I was getting ready to go get baked and yell at people in the streets, though, if you wanted to come with me?”

“Sure,” Elfo agreed miserably, setting the bottle back down a little too hard on the table. Plan #1 was a bust, which meant it was back to the drawing board for him.

 A couple days later and Elfo sat loosely tied to the throne with a mistletoe hung directly above him, waiting for Luci to come back from breakfast. The plan now was that Luci would try to help him out and as soon as he was close enough Elfo would slip the knots and kiss him. Elfo was skeptical about the plan as it required Luci wanting to help anyone, but Bean was confident in this one so he went with it. He twisted against the chair, the hard wood digging into his back uncomfortably.

Luci’s amusement when he finally found him was unending and Elfo almost wanted to die right then and there, mistletoe be damned.

“Wow,” Luci whistled appreciatively, circling him. “Just wow. Who did you say did this to you again?”

“The kids from the village,” Elfo muttered under his breath, repeating the words Bean had instructed him to say. It was all the more embarrassing due to the plausibility of the situation. “Could you possibly help me out of here?”

“And you’re really stuck?” Luci clarified, just standing there and, more importantly, not helping him. “Like, you can’t get out at all?”

“No,” Elfo assured him in what he hoped was a convincing lie.

Luci examined him for a moment longer, clearly deciding the truth of the statement. Finally he shrugged, walking towards the still open door.

“W-Wait!” Elfo cried out in a panic, wanting to rush after him but not wanting to give away the fact that he wasn’t really stuck. “Where are you going? Aren’t you going to help me?”

“It seems like you’re really stuck in there,” Luci said over his shoulder, strolling out the doorway. “Why would I ruin such a perfect oppurtunity?”

Seconds later he was gone and Elfo slumped against the rope, defeated yet again.

 His third try was a last-ditch attempt and one that he wasn’t proud of by any definition of the word. Tied to the front of his hat was a sprig of mistletoe, making it impossible for anyone to get close to him without being in range of the plant. It was obvious and mortifying if anyone saw him—which, if Bean’s plan was to work, they would have to. Specifically Luci.

Luci took one look at him and burst into laughter, doubling over in amusement. Elfo blushed furiously, bristling at the reaction. “Oh my god, Elfo, man, this is just so desperate. What lady is ever going to want to kiss you with that on your head?”

Elfo didn’t even bother to come up with a response, ripping the hat off and throwing it to the ground. He stormed off, Luci’s laughter echoing down the halls after him.

 Eventually, Elfo was forced to resign himself to the facts. Luci didn’t want to kiss him; that much was obvious. And no amount of tricks, clever ploys, or traditional plants were going to change that. The sooner he allowed himself to accept that, the sooner he could get over the stinging phase of rejection.

He sat curled up in the windowsill of Bean’s room, the place where this whole stupid charade had begun. His knees were pulled up to his chest and in one hand he held a piece of mistletoe, glaring at it with as much hatred as he could muster.

“Stupid plant,” he muttered angrily, crushing it between his fingers. “Stupid Bean, stupid Luci, stupid feelings—”

“Are you talking to yourself again?”

He jumped at the sound of Luci’s voice. He shoved the mistletoe behind him quickly; there was no way he would be able to deal with the embarrassment of Luci catching him holding it.

“No,” he protested, wishing for once that Luci would just go away. As always, Luci ignored his wishes and hopped up on the windowsill opposite him, examining him curiously. “Why are you here? Don’t you have more important things to be doing?”

“Not really. I just finished poisoning the local drinking water, so my schedule’s clear for the next couple hours.” Luci watched him for a moment before his tail snapped out suddenly and snatched the mistletoe from behind Elfo’s back. Elfo gasped, shooting out a hand to retrieve it but it was already too late. Luci smiled, holding up the mistletoe in both their line of sight. “Thinking of kissing someone, huh?”

“I…” Elfo struggled to come up with a convincing story, but between all the plans he and Bean had come up with lately, not to mention his inherently guilty conscious, he found himself all out of lies. “I was, yeah. But they don’t want to kiss me back.”

“How do you know that? Did they tell you?”

“No,” Elfo admitted. “But they don’t have to. They’re super cool and mysterious and I’m… you know.”

“Elfo?”

“Exactly.”

His head drooped in misery. A couple seconds later, however, he felt a soft hand grip his chin and tilt it upwards. He found Luci standing next to him, the mistletoe held squarely over them by his tail. Elfo gaped at the sight, glancing between it and Luci’s face. “But—I thought—”

“I knew what you were trying to do,” Luci admitted, scratching the back of his neck. “I’ve known since the beginning. I just thought I shouldn’t give the win to you that easy. And I have to say, it was fun messing with you. Sorry about that. by the way. Bad habits, demon and all that.”

“So then you…” Elfo struggled to deal with the information he was being handed. “You knew that I liked you and you weren’t disgusted?”

“Of course not,” Luci snorted. “Do you know how many things I’ve been with on this planet? You’re hardly the most revolting thing.”

“Thanks,” Elfo said dryly.

“You know what I mean.”

“So you, too…?”

“Don’t make me say it,” Luci snapped, and if Elfo didn’t know better he could have sworn he spotted a faint blush on the demon’s cheeks. He wiggled the mistletoe then, a mischievous look entering his eyes. “Now, I believe I owe you something?”

Kissing Luci was never something Elfo would imagine in even his wildest of dreams, but life, as he quickly found out, was full of surprises. Normally, Elfo was not that fond of surprises, but in this case he decided to make an exception.

#disenchantment #elfo #luci #bean #elfo x luci #twelve days of ficmas #fanfiction

[peaceoutofthepieces]

Okay, so I really want to attempt to give my opinion on this Eliott drama. Because I’ve seen a lot of strong opinions and none really match up to mine and I just want to throw in my two cents and look at it a slightly different way. I know that the spoilers are affecting everything, and I think that’s rather unfair, because I think they were blown out of proportion in the first place and that’s really stopping people from enjoying the season and looking it rationally.

Firstly, I don’t think Eliott lying about this is out of character. It seems incredibly in character, in fact. It makes so much sense to me. I do completely believe he’s doing it in an attempt to “protect” Lucas. Which yes, is stupid. People do stupid things, and lying is a main one of things. And once you start with a lie, it often spirals and grows and goes on longer than you thought. And so you just keep letting it go on. It gets harder and harder to explain and come out with the truth. And so you just keep it to yourself. It’s doing less harm that way. Eliott actually going to these things isn’t hurting Lucas but if he explains now that he hasn’t told him before because he doesn’t want him to worry, it would make him worry.

If you look at their minute by minute clip, or basically any of s3 (and s4) it’s clear why Eliott thinks Lucas would worry about him. These things are a bit illegal, right? Not conventional. A bit unusual. Probably not the safest (Otteli’s the one climbing to all the weird places, isn’t he?). It’s possible, really, that Eliott thinks Lucas would not only worry because of that, but because he might think it’s a result of a manic episode. That Lucas would draw it down to his bipolar. Lucas attempting to look out for him in this same clip with the weed and everything kind of supports this idea. Eliott loves Lucas for taking care of him, but he’s very aware of how aware Lucas is of his illness.

There’s also the fact that Lucille probably would have seen it as a manic episode. Lucas isn’t Lucille, and Eliott knows that, but that doesn’t change the fact he’d been in a relationship with Lucille for years and that it only ended about a year ago. Those kind of things become ingrained in you, and they’re hard to forget or shake off. Eliott is probably so so used to hiding things that his partner would take as a result of his illness. Lucille probably took so many things as a result of his illness. He told Lucas he would lie about things, even if it was just about taking his medication. Habits of communication are very hard to break or change. Eliott is probably trying. He’s getting better at it. But it’s something you have to learn and improve on constantly, and it makes sense that Eliott isn’t there yet. That doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do, but people don’t always do the right things. People do stupid things. Nobody’s perfect. It has nothing to do with how much Eliott loves or trusts Lucas. It’s about his own mentality and instincts that he needs to work on.

That’s another big point. I’ve seen a lot of posts saying that they’re tired of this miscommunication because that was what they worked through in s3. But s3 is Lucas’s season. It’s about Lucas learning to communicate, not Eliott. We’ve been told s6 is used to show some of Eliott’s story. It makes sense that they’re dealing with it now. It’s probably going to relate to the s6 storyline somehow. To Lola’s storyline. Skam is all about the parallels.

Considering Lola is the s6 main.

Eliott getting close to her makes sense. Eliott is happy to find out they’re “similar”. He approached Lola at the funeral when she was on her own maybe because he’s just kind, likely because it reminded him of himself. Set apart. A bit “weird”. He approached her at the urbex party because he’d met her and it had been an interesting first meeting (considering Lola’s speech) and he hadn’t seen her at any of them before. And he probably thought, “oh, do we have this in common too??” Eliott doesn’t have anyone like himself. He and Lucas love and know each other but Lucas isn’t like him. Meeting someone who has the same lonely vibe and the same interests is something different. It’s nice to have someone like that, that you have a sort of instinctive understanding with.

That’s what Eliott sees in Lola and why he finds it easy to talk to her. There are people that you meet that you have an easy connection with. Some people have a dozen people like that, some might only have one or two. Eliott is likely the latter. It doesn’t mean he and Lola are suddenly BFFs, or that he’s obsessed with her, or any weird stuff like that I’ve seen going around. They’ve interacted a few times and Eliott feels comfortable around him and is happy to see her. Why is that weird?? That makes me really happy.

I’ve seen things going around too about how it’s weird that Eliott would be befriending this odd group of friends and doesn’t have his own college friend group. And tbh y’all, I’m personally offended by it. I have one main college friend and then just people I talk to occasionally in class or on the train. I don’t meet up with any of them outside of college. There are tons of people in my course who still sit alone in class. He’s in his first year! He’s awkward, a bit shy, he’s not a people person! Some people really don’t have many friends!! The Skam girl/boy squads are actually really rare representations!!! Eliott and Lola are the most relatable in my view. It makes sense that they relate to each other.

That doesn’t mean Eliott is falling in love with her or she’s stealing him from Lucas or any damn thing like that. It means they’re both finding friendship that they likely crave.

The age gap of what, three years? does not make it any weirder. If you have a sibling or a cousin or something like that with a three year age difference can’t you have a really good bond with them?? I’ve seen people throwing around words like pervert and if that’s what you think, you don’t even know what that means. Don’t throw around things you haven’t bothered to learn anything about. Words hold weight.

I’m not defending Eliott, because honestly I think he’s being an idiot, but also, it’s something that I could see myself doing. The last thing we ever want is to hurt or be hurt by the people we love. We do stupid things all the time to try to stop that from happening. We miscommunicate.

That doesn’t make this bad writing. That doesn’t mean Eliott is out of character. Constant relationship drama and miscommunication is tiring, but it is realistic. It’s life. Life is tiring. This is consistent and meaningful, if you look at it the right way.

#skam france

[queensdivas]

Peonies Chapter 8

It has been a while since I've posted about Grigor or The Great. Y'all I have been busy with finals and another fic on archive that has been my favorite thing to write. If you've ever watched The Terror from AMC then you'll enjoy this.

But I haven't forgot about one of my favorite fics. Never.

Other than that! Here we go after weeks of not writing.

Previous Chapter

Masterlist

The idea of falling asleep after today just sounds nauseating. Seeing the horrors in front of me then coming back to my apartment for Peter wanting to kill me. Then for Grigor to storm off due to the fact that he thought I would lay with my own cousin by marriage. Yes I’m well aware that’s still a common practice amongst the Monarchs of the world but not in my book!

Turning my head to watch the flames slowly begin to die down before my eyes. The room was beginning to spiral into that infamous Russian cold. I didn’t feel like throwing another log on since part of me thinks I deserve to be in the wintry world that I have chosen to live in.

This plan for making Catherine the ruler of all Russia is becoming stale. What have we done that’s been achievable anyhow! Go to the front to feed a bunch of soldiers! You saw what happened when I alone tried to help Peter! Catherine influenced a new Patriarch yet the women of the court still find Catherine to be an annoyance. There has been absolutely no effort or somewhat change Catherine has done to make things more in her favor. God she is a child thrown into a world that she has no idea what she's doing. Although I should be guiding...but...

What good am I doing here! I feel as if I’m just now a fuck toy for Grigor to feel a womens touch since his wife is with the Emporer on a daily basis! Throwing the blanket off me to march over to the nearest vase and chuck it across the room!

A screech left my body as I cleared everything off the vanity onto the floor. I could feel the blood rushing through me for this anger to spiral out of control! This stupid country! Grabbing a book to throw it against the wall!

THIS STUPID COUNTRY!

HOW CAN ONE FUCKING BELONG TO THIS COURT!

HOW CAN ONE SINGLE HUMAN BE SUCH AN ABSOLUTE MORON! AND YES THAT HUMAN IS ME!

WHY DOESN’T HE TRUST ME!

I’M NOT HIS WIFE!

THIS STUPID GOD DAMN COUNTRY!

IT’S MAKING ME QUESTION EVERY SINGLE THREAD OF INSANITY I HAVE BECAUSE THE MAN I’M BEGINNING TO FALL FOR HAS MAJOR TRUST ISSUES! CAN’T HE SEE THAT I AM A ONE MAN ONE WOMEN SORT OF WOMAN!

YES I’M A WHORE TO A MAR….

Huh...would you look at that Chiara? All because he lit a fire under your own ass because everyone else around you stays clear of it.

I…..

I feel nothing….

Maybe the cold will make me feel something in this empty body. Grabbing the handles of the window to pull them out. They smacked against the walls for the wind to soar through my room. It flew through my hair for the first few seconds for it to stop. The cold swaddled me up but I didn’t move from the window.

I do not deserve the things I have been given in life. For I am a cold hearted bitch with almost no remorse in my actions. I could possibly kill a hundred people and proclaim it to be for the greater good. No sense of remorse or sadness.

How could Grigor want to love someone as vile as me..I am cold..evil. Someone like me doesn’t deserve the warm embrace of what love is. This lust is beginning to form into the most dangerous tool one can have in their life. For it can bring life and destroy it in a matter of seconds.

I miss his touch..the way his fingers would glide across my arm as we snuggled together on the bed. The way he kissed my forehead after a long time of making love. Him showing me his drawings and I know he’s drawing me in my sleep! It hurts to feel this sort of way! I don’t want to feel anything! This feeling is almost heart wrenching and...beautiful.

My breathing began to choke till the only warmth that was on my body was the singular tear that had escaped my eye. I’m not a crier. Though we Italians embrace our emotions and turn it into something beautiful, I think this tear is a sense of relief. If I didn’t feel anything. I wouldn’t be whimpering in front of an open window.

A gentle beat from the door echoed through my room as I didn’t even move. If Peter was sending his soldiers to kill me I get the feeling there would be no knock. Please let it be Grigor. I need to feel his touch and tell him the truth. Not all of it but at least enough that I don’t spoil my plans for Catherine.

I closed the window to hurry over to the fire and toss a log in. If it’s Grigor then he probably would prefer something a little warmer. Please him please. Grabbing my robe to put it on as I opened the door. My eyes expanded from the confusion of who was standing before me in my bed robes.

“Elizabeth?” Well if she was coming to kill me I imagine my room has some sort of secret entrance and would’ve done it in my sleep.

“I hope I didn't disturb you. I think we need to have a little chat.”

“We do?” Dear God if Peter opened his mouth about what he started and what I finished I’m going to go kill him myself!

“Yes. May I come in?” Taking a step back for the door to open. She was in her bed clothes as she noticed the mess I had made in my room.

“The work of Peter no less?” I kept my mouth shut for once waiting for her to say something more. She’s going to defend Peter as much as she can. Probably for his own father who I imagine she secretly loved. From my understanding Peter the Great was also quite promiscuous just like his mother. A family of harlots.

“I heard from Peter what happened here early today. I highly doubt that you called him a bastard since he can be quite over dramatic.” So she’s aware that he’s a sniffling bastard whose inability to rule is quite prominent.

“Not talking much tonight are you? Usually you have a comment to say if I were in here talking about Peter.”

“For once Elizabeth. I could truly give a shit about Peter and his antics. I’m not here to please him and make him happy. I’m here for Catherine and making her more comfortable with her new station.” Try not to think that we might kill her own Nephew in a good amount of time. If not by Catherine then by the military.

“You’re not angry that he was in here and wanted to kill you?” She sat down in front of the fire in the love seat for me to stand before here.

“Your nephew. My cousin by marriage is a harmless little bug in my life Elizabeth. His actions were not even worth a single drop of sweat from my brow.”

“Did the stabbing of a major General not scare you? As an outsider I thought it would have scared you horribly.”

“Not scared. More gasping which then leads to utter annoyance. I am more than capable of handling Peter when he’s in a state of anger trying to kill me. What do you even want because I would like some sort of rest.”

“Be more gentle when it comes..

“Just because his mother was a horrid woman does not excuse his actions Elizabeth! That’s saying Zeus should be considered a kind man even though he raped Leda because of his own mental state. Peter thinks of him as Zeus when in reality he is worse than Hades himself! Life is horrid Elizabeth and constantly blaming his issues on his mother is disgusting and you standing here trying to defend him holds you accountable for his actions.”

“What an interesting comparison. You are a very bright woman and that wicked tongue is able to strike anyone down.”

“I can strike down anyone with tongue and steel.” Taking in a sharp breath to walk over to a full bottle of sweet red wine.

“Would you like a glass?” Asking for her to nod. Popping off the court to grab two glasses then bringing two glasses over for us. Sitting down across from here to begin pouring her a glass. She motioned for me to stop for me to pour myself some as well.

“I apologise dear Aunt Elizabeth. I sometimes forget to catch my tongue before it falls out of my head.” We both took a long drink to the point when we were done I had to pour a little more between us.

“It’s quite alright. I’m just grateful you didn’t kill my beloved Nephew before it was too late.” Before I could answer the doors bursted open.

“Excuse me mam?” Turning to see a serf was standing by the door of my world. Did something happen to Fernanda?

“Zasha? What is it?” Elizabeth stood up from my chair to approach her.

“It’s the Emperor. He’s fallen gravely ill.” Well. That is going to solve our problems much faster than I thought it was going to happen. She wrapped herself around her robe as we began walking out of my bedroom.

“Why are you coming? I thought you despised him” She asked for me to nod but was still walking.

“We’re family by marriage. He is now my cousin whether I like it or not.” Turning the corner to see that Orlo, George...and Grigor were waiting outside the room. Splendid. I imagine his wife was ready to lay in bed yet stumbled into that mess.

“From what I’ve seen and heard it sounds bad. A lot of vomit and blood.” Orlo told us to stand next to Orlo. One of the priests that was in the room came out with the black mask on his face to then take it off before us.

“You may not enter the room. For it might be contagious till the doctor tells you differently. For he’s running a high fever, a lot of vomiting, and has been seeing strange visions. The Archbishop is there with him now. He’ll tell you more once he comes out.” Is...Is that vomit on his mask? Or...dear god. He walked past us heading down the hall towards the apartments.

“How is he?” Catherine came in with a very well detailed look of uneasiness.

“Very ill.” Elizabeth told Catherine for my eyes to drift over to Grigor. He was holding onto George but staring directly at me. Stupid man. Stupid man!

“Can we go in?” Catherine asked Orlo but I’m assuming not.

“Well everyones being kept out here.”

“In fear of contagion.” Finally looking at Grigor again for us to lock eyes for a brief instant till I turned to Catherine.

“He’s been vomiting continuously throughout the night, and he runs a high fever, and he has fits of wild delirium.”

“The Doctor and Archbishop are with him.” I told her to place my hands on her shoulder to give some comfort to this poor wife and my cousin. The door opened for a child to come out with a bowl filled with blood and vomit. Not to mention his entire body was covered head to toe in Peters upchuck...and from the smell..the back door was also used as well.

“Excuse me.” Oh the smell! Covering my nose for Grigor and I to look at one another again. He doesn’t look concerned. Is that a smile?

We all leaned into the doorway to see what was happening in there since we could only hear the sound of Peter vomiting and coughing more and more. I did the sign of the cross to hold onto my cross necklace. I don’t pray for Peter. But I pray for the Doctor inside the room that he stays safe from whatever disease has fallen upon Peter. Peter could go to hell for all I care, but I have to keep up appearances.

The Archbishop popped in the doorway for us to straighten our backs. He came out of his bedroom to close the door behind him. Grigor inched a little closer to me to the point I could sense the warmth radiating off him.

“How is he?” Grigor asked for the Archbishop to stare directly at us.

“Extremely ill. The fear is that it may be Cholera.”

“Cholera?” That’s a rough sickness. Even I wouldn’t wish that sort of death on my enemy.

“Which I suspect he will have caught from a possessed, nocturnal animal. Probably a badger.” If I ever get sick in this country I would rather just endure the ride home and die in a carriage. These doctors are not touching me with a ten foot pole!

“Where would he have come across a possessed badger?” Catherine asked thankfully. That sounds absolutely unrealistic and not how you even got Cholera. Not that I don’t know how you get Cholera but I imagine it’s not from a possessed badger.

“If it is Cholera, he will die, will he not?” Holding her a little tighter as a cue to sound a lot more concerned. You have to make it believable that you’re distraught that he might die!

“It’s a strong possibility that we must face.” Looking at Orlo who kept the same straight face he usually has.

“Oh my little man.” THE POOR BABY! I WILL WEEP WITH A BOTTLE OF WINE AND GLORIOUS MUSIC!

“The Doctor is working hard on cures. It may be something else.”

“Has he said anything? Is he talking?” Why would he be concerned if he’s talking? Grigor might as well give a shit if he truly dies or not.

“He speaks intermittently. Much of it is deranged. Said he was a wolf, and wanted to eat Swedish children for breakfast. And there was some talk of what he’d like to do to Chiara and with various ladies of the court. I’ll spare you the details.” My body ran cold for Catherine to turn and face me. The blood in my body felt as if it dried up as I wanted to vomit. Looking at Grigor as I felt so disgusted with myself.

“Before more bouts of diarrhea and vomiting.” The Archbishop went back in for Grigor to take in a deep breath.

“I will go in to see him.” Say what?

“Do not risk your life.” Elizabeth told him as he stopped in the doorway.

“I want to be there for my friend.” Bullshit! He could give an absolute shit about Peter at this point!

“I had no idea your husband was so brave, Georgina.”

“Oh yes famously so.”

“In more ways than one.” Adding into the conversation for George to turn and face me.

“Just being honest.” An angry snake she is when I add my own little comments. Settle down hypocrites.

Orlo, Catherine, and I huddled into our own group to see the expression of Catherines face change from the fake grieving widow to an excited future ruler. Must admit this is a little exciting for me as well.

“If this is Cholera, he could be dead within the day.” Orlo told us as Catherine was beginning to smile slightly but trying to control herself.

“Right. That means..”

“Yes. Yes it will be yours. You will rule Russia.” By God it’s going to actually happen.

“After all our planning..it just..”

“Falls right into your lap.” Orlo finished as the doors opened back up. The ArchBishop came out of the room to take off his mask. Remember when I said that this planning became stale? I stand corrected and I was completely wrong. This just made everything better.

“In light of this terrible situation, a meeting is being called to deal with the possible transition of power.”

“To me.” Easy Catherine. That’s a little too exciting for someone who's losing their husband.

“Indeed. It seems so. You are the next...should the worst happen.” Seems like the worst is about to happen right before them. If it’s going this quickly then I might be going home soon! Finally an end to this horrid nightmare and cesspool!

“Prepare with prayer, and the senate will be called.”

“I look forward to it.” Damn it Catherine!

“Not him dying. That is bad. And sad. And we hope for the best and a speedy recovery.” If I could slap my own face I would without making this seem like we’re excited that Peter is dying.

“God will be with us. He always is.” The Archbishop left the hall for Catherine and Orlo to talk amongst themselves. I need to talk to Grigor. I can’t stand being apart from him at nights for it is his warmth I believe that is keeping me sane. I don’t think I can tell him that I think I’m starting to love him but atleast telling him I need him is a good start.

*Grigors P.O.V.*

DIE! DIE YOU HORRIBLE HUMAN! YOU THINK YOU CAN SLEEP WITH MY OWN LOVE BECAUSE YOU’RE THE EMPEROR! DIE DIE DIE! I WILL KILL YOU AND WILL LIVE PEACEFULLY IN MY OWN LIFE!

Removing the pillow to see that he was still breathing! Bastard! Slamming the pillow back onto him to push down even further in hopes that I might finish the job! Just die! How hard is it to kill someone who's already dying! Talking about Chiara as if she’s just a common peasant!

“What are you doing!?” George yelled as I continued to push down harder and harder.

“What is right and you know it George! I have to do something!”

“Fuck!” George pulled me back as we stopped to see Peter was still breathing. Dragging me from his bed towards the middle of his room.

“I was given the choice to be a man or a child! I’ve decided to become a man for the sake of my sanity!”

“You poisoned him?”

“Arsenic. From the wall in his borscht!” Feeling the cold slap from George as she was in full rage of my actions.

“What happens to us when he’s dead? Think what Peter provides for us!”

“You...you..”

“You’re a stupid fool Grigor!” She took a deep breath to calm herself down.

“Our situation is complex. Yet also simple! We have a safe life with Peter! Luxury, security, a place in court. Who’s he gonna be replaced by? Catherine!? We’re nothing to her! What happens to us then? Not to mention Chiara is making it much more difficult to handle this situation. No thanks to you!”

“So you may have a lover but I may not!” I love Chiara and this marriage is non-existent!

“Grigor?” Peter called for me as I turned to see him barely awake and moving. Say something George! You hypocritical bitch say something!

“We’re here.” George, like a mother goose, flew to Peter's aid. Well. It’s very clear now on where my life stands now. George has made her bed and it is time for me to make my own with a Duchess who isn’t afraid to get the job done when it needs to be done.

Letting go of the pillow to march out of the room and slamming the doors shut. Taking in a few deep breaths to calm myself before scampering off to Chiara. Chiara? Where is she? Perhaps in her chambers!

It was like seeing a light at the end of the tunnel heading to her apartment! The outline of the room was glowing before my eyes. Chiara..my love. The only woman in this world that can make my knees buckle to bow at her feet. That fire is intoxicating to the point that I might die of happiness.

Slamming the door open to see Chiara was in front of the flames looking directly into them. Her head slowly turned to face me with a somber look. A bottle of wine sitting next to her looked thoroughly used. Oh my precious flame. Closing the door to sit down next to her as she went back into looking into the fire.

“I placed my blade against his neck threatening to take his life away. Why didn’t I slice it open? Tell me why I didn’t Grigor?” She asked for me to place my hand on her cheek.

“What happened before I came in?”

“He was mad that I helped Velementov at the front for strategy. He drew a sword on me and I fought back. I won and threatened him that if he were to ever draw his sword on me that I would win. I...I should’ve sliced his throat open and strung him up as if he was game to place on my wall.” I feel like I should tell her that I’m the one that poisoned him. That he is dying in his own bed because the world would be better without him! She was literally going to kill him before I even came into the room!

“Chiara. I’m the one who caused him to become ill. I poisoned him in the borscht while he was eating dinner.” Her expression was the same as before till it clicked in her mind. Her entire face went from a beautiful red to a ghostly white in a matter of seconds.

“Holy shit..” She whispered to turn her attention to the fire. Is she going to tell Catherine? Not that Catherine might care much but what if she does? Would she tell the court? No...no what have I done!

“I would ask why but that..oh my god.” Turning her head to face me as I gulped.

“If it helps, I did it for you. For us..for everyone in the court that his idiocy will go away.” Her lips were slightly open with her breathing beginning to rise.

That lovely color began returning to her cheek as she climbed on top of me and wrapped herself around me. Those entrancing lips striked against mine as my hands traveled up her back to pull her shirt. She stopped to place her index finger on my lips.

“For you committing such a horrendous act. Allow me.” Removing her finger to place a kiss on my lips, to my cheek, then right underneath my jaw line. I could see the stars from how well she was working those luscious lips. Her hand gripped my cock to start playing it through my pants. God her touch. It’s almost too delicious to even allow. My eyes rolled back for me to lay down on the rug for her kisses to start moving down my body.

I love her...I hope that she knows that I would kill an army for her without regret...

~~~

@mirkwoodshewolf @bonafiderocketqueen @johndeaconshands

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels @amethyst-serenade @radio-ha-ha@i-have-a-wonky-eye-too @deck-heart @actuallyanita @the-baby-bookworm @ewanmcgregors​ @panagiasikelia​

#grigor x reader #grigor dymov #grigor dymov x reader #grigor smut #grigor #elle fanning #The Great #Catherine the Great #catherine #The Great hulu #romance

[adhd-disaster-willie]

seventeen and strung out on confusion; chapter 2/4

So, I don’t really like this chapter as much as the other one but it’s fine. :/ I don’t have the patience to redo it, so this is what you get :)

Warnings: Homophobia, child abuse, non-graphic description of wounds, panic attacks

chapter 1

---

Alex didn’t quite know how long he’d been curled up on the sidewalk when a figure began approaching him; but he was shivering and crying and really not in the mood to be murdered. The person may not have been headed directly towards him, but they sure were biking fast in his direction and once again, being kicked out and killed on the same night didn’t sound like much fun. So, swearing underneath his breath, Alex stood up and began jogging away, still unsure of where he was headed.

The bike came barrelling towards Alex but came to a screeching halt immediately after passing him. 

“Alex?!” The person, who had a guitar strapped to their back, hopped off the bike and stumbled towards Alex.

“Luke?” Alex whispered, baffled. “What are you-” But he didn’t get to finish his sentence before Luke wrapped him in a hug, burying his face in Alex’s shoulder. Alex decided not to mention Luke’s damp, red cheeks. 

“Dude, what are you doing?” Luke asked, pulling away.

Alex snorted at that. “I could ask you the same thing.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and began rocking on his heels, counting down the seconds until Luke read him like he always does and Alex had to stop him from marching back up the block and yelling at the Mercers until his voice was hoarse.

“Your parents,” Luke muttered, his voice hardening, bitter. “They kicked you out didn’t they?” Luke didn’t get angry very often. Sure, he got upset and disappointed and frustrated, but he wasn’t one to get genuinely furious. He was now though. Alex grabbed his wrist and shook his head. 

“Yes, but Luke, please don’t.”

Luke narrowed his eyes, but backed off. “I’m gonna kill them,” He hissed beneath his breath.

“Not if you die from the cold. What are you even doing out here?”

Luke grew quiet, his gaze shifting to the ground. “Nothing, nothing I was just… I was headed to Bobby’s. The studio.”

Alex nodded, internally berating himself for not having thought of that. But he didn’t want to bother anyone. Staying in the studio for the night was entirely different from asking to live there. But he didn’t have much of a choice. 

Luke, somehow sensing Alex’s thoughts, sighed. “I’m gonna go grab your bike,”he said, giving Alex a quick hug before turning to walk up the sidewalk.

“Luke, you don’t have to-”

“Nah, I do. I’m not gonna make you go back there, and we sure as hell aren’t walking all the way to Bobby’s.”

“Fine. But you need to tell me what happened!” Alex shouted after him, but he was already far enough to pretend he hadn’t heard anything. 

---

Alex’s hands were practically numb after 10 minutes of biking, and his backpack felt like it had doubled in size. Not to mention the only light was people’s Christmas decorations and the occasional street light, and he’d only ever gone to Bobby’s in the day so he was relying about 80% on muscle memory. All in all, not a great situation. 

“Dude, why the fuck is Bobby’s house so far away?” Alex complained, adjusting his grip on his bike handles in hopes that it’d bring back some sort of feeling in his fingers. 

Luke shrugged. He’d been uncharacteristically quiet the whole ride and was yet to explain why he’d run off in the middle of the night, but Alex knew he’d open up in time… hopefully. If it had to be pried out of him, it would; but Luke was never one to keep secrets. At least Alex leaving in the middle of the night wouldn’t take much explanation, except to Bobby’s parents. No one had dared say it out loud, but for the whole year it’d felt like the seconds Alex had before being kicked out were just slowly running out. And this was the last straw. 

“Can we- can we stop for a minute?” Alex breathed, his legs burning. “I have like, no stamina.”

Luke chuckled weakly, coming to a slow stop. They leaned their bikes on the side of the curb before sitting down, feeling relieved that they recognized the area; it was just a few blocks from Reggie and roughly another 5 minutes to Bobby’s place. 

Alex let out a shaky breath. “It doesn’t even feel real,” he whispered, dropping his head and burying his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. “God, they kicked me out.” It was finally settling in and Alex felt sick. “Dad wasn’t even there. It was- it was just Mom and she… She didn’t even seem sorry. She looked at me like I was nothing.” He choked down a sob. “Like I was never her son. I didn’t think she’d ever hate me, but look at where we are now.” Alex didn’t bother fighting the tears this time. His shoulders shook and he brought his knees up to his chest, breathing in slowly in hopes to prevent a panic attack. 

Luke moved in closer, wrapping an arm around Alex’s shoulder and squeezing. “Hey, it’ll be alright. We’ve got each other. And Bobby, and Reggie-”

“Luke, Alex?”

Both boys snapped to attention; they would’ve recognized that voice anywhere.

“Reg?” Luke stood up and took two long strides to meet Reggie, clasping his thin, hunched shoulders. “Shit. Reggie, dude.”

Alex wiped his eyes furiously as he walked over to where Reggie and Luke stood and he once again recognized the pure anger dripping from Luke’s words. Then Reggie moved closer to the streetlight and Alex’s heart plummeted to his feet. 

Reggie’s face was blotchy and pink and his eyes were swollen from crying. His hair was slightly damp and Alex felt sick upon seeing the shards of glass in it. There was dried blood on his cheek and Alex was afraid for him to take his jacket off, but Luke tore it off anyway, inspecting the bruises running up and down Reggie’s forearms and wrapped around his wrists.

Reggie squeaked in protest and snatched the jacket back, his hands shaking.

“They are dead,” Luke muttered coldly. He gestured to both Alex and Reggie. “I am going to actually kill both of your guys’ parents.”

Reggie looked over to Alex. “What did Alex’s parents…” He trailed off, face darkening in realization. 

“Where were you gonna go?” Alex asked quietly, his grip on his fannypack strap tightening. 

Reggie shrugged and went to sit down on the curb. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “But I can’t just leave forever. Sammy… I can’t leave him alone with them.” He shook his head. “I’d hate myself if I just left him there.”

“Olivia moved out last year and left you guys alone!” Luke countered, sitting beside Reggie. “Reg, dude, you can’t stay there!”

Reggie’s expression hardened in a way Alex had never seen. Reggie Peters was basically a human puppy and it seemed Alex had gotten all to used to that fact. “Yea but she knew we had each other, Luke. You don’t get it. Sammy’s just 13, I can’t just leave him. I can’t.” Reggie’s tone grew more hopeless at the last sentence, his lip quivering.

“Fine,” Luke grumbled. “But at least come with us tonight. We’re going to Bobby’s.”

“But what if-”

“No buts. You’re hurt and you smell like beer, we’re not gonna leave you out here.”

“But Sammy-”

“Sammy’ll be ok,” Alex cut in. He squeezed Reggie shoulder and gave a half-hearted smile. “He’s a tough kid.”

Reggie nodded. A quiet sob ripped through him and he buried his head in his knees, leaving damp spots on his jeans from his hair which would probably smell like alcohol for a week.

Alex lay an arm around Reggie’s shoulder and Luke chuckled. “Yea, group hug,” he whispered feebly, joining the embrace.

The temperature was rapidly dropping and Alex could feel Luke shivering and Reggie’s teeth chattering, his own feet growing numb in his shoes. But for just a split second, none of that mattered. He didn’t have to look to know that they were all crying and that Reggies hair was sticking to his cheek and Luke’s guitar case was digging into someone’s shoulder. They were a family. A stupid, dysfunctional, scarily codependent family, but still. It was something.

---

March, 1995

Despite protest, Bobby’s parents had started giving Alex and Luke monthly allowances; claiming that if they were gonna live there, they were family, not guests. Reggie refused to accept the money; he was still returning to his house at least two nights a week for fear that his parents would take their anger out on Sammy. But the money meant that Alex was finally able to get a new hoodie; one that wasn’t too tight around the shoulders and didn’t ride up every time he lifted his arms. It was nice, too. Sure it’d taken a couple months of allowance to buy, but it was soft and comfortable and his favorite shade of pink. 

“Alex,” Luke whined, drawing out the vowel like a small child begging for candy. “You can’t leave us like this!”

“Luke-”

“It’s betrayal! You- I thought you were our friend!”

“Stop being dramatic,” Alex replied, smacking Luke’s shoulder lightly. 

“Ow.”

“It’s one band practice. If I don’t retake this test, I’ll fail Algebra.”

“Algebra is a stupid subject anyway,” Luke pouted, kicking a rock angrily.

“Bobby’s mom got ice cream,” Alex said. “Now go.” He waved Luke off, smiling impatiently.

Luke trudged away from Alex’s locker and towards the exit, his head hung low. “You’re the worst,” He shouted before walking out of sight.

Alex sighed and chuckled lightly as he turned back to rifle through his locker in search of a pencil; he’d lost his favorite one in English earlier that day (more like Bobby stole it, but same difference). He didn’t like pens because the concept of not being able to fix mistakes was more daunting than it probably should be, and he refused to use any non-mechanical pencils (“Shut it Luke, I’m allowed to be picky about my pencils!”) because he hated having to sharpen them constantly and he had a bad habit of pressing down too hard and breaking the lead. So he couldn't find a damn pencil and Mr. Thomas had said he had to be in classroom by 4:30 if he wanted to retake the test but he couldn’t find a stupid pencil. Alex swallowed and breathed in shakily, glancing up at the clock which seemed to be moving too fast because there’s no way it was already 4:25. Logically, he could just ask Mr. Thomas if he could borrow a pencil, but he didn’t want to be a bother, and he knew there was a pencil somewhere in here. 

Alex cried out in frustration, slipping his backpack from his shoulders and unzipping the small front pocket which he’d reserved specifically for writing utensils. Nothing. Ok. Fine, he’d just borrow one. It isn’t that hard to ask to use a pencil. Right.

Halfway across the hallway, Alex heard snickering drifting from around the corner. He froze and gripped his backpack straps tighter. It was useless, willing himself to keep walking. Not when that laughing was sickeningly familiar. God, Alex hated football players. 

“Awe look he got a new jaaacket.” Someone -Alex refused to try and decipher who- cooed mockingly.

Alex didn’t turn around.

“Y’know when you stopped wearing the other one, we were really hoping your parents had finally beat some sense into you.”

Alex looked at the clock. 4:28. He willed himself to move forward, ignoring the twisting in his stomach. He played out the beat to Now or Never on his backpack straps. 

“Hey! We’re talking to you!”

Why was the hallway so long? Alex had begun to think it had doubled in size since he’d started walking. His hoodie felt too hot all of the sudden and he could practically feel someone breathing down the back of his neck. They were talking to him, but it was muffled, like he was underwater. He tried breathing in slowly. 4:29. His steps quickened. 

“F*g!” 

He couldn’t breathe. Alex couldn’t breathe and he felt like someone had stabbed him in the stomach and was twisting the knife over and over and over again. 4:30. Oh god. They were yelling at him and drawing closer and closer and now he’d missed his chance and was gonna fail algebra and they’d call his parents and then the school would know he’d been kicked out and-

Someone had hit him. He wished he could pinpoint where, but his entire body was numb and throbbing and everything was blurry. He wondered briefly if the shouting was in his head or out of it. And this might be where he could say he’d blacked out, but that wasn’t quite what had happened. He stumbled blindly across the rest of the hall, mostly on autopilot, unable to see through tears and why was he crying??? He never really fainted, but no matter how hard he tried, Alex couldn’t remember what’d happened next. 

---

“Alex!” 

That was Luke, Alex was sure of it. 

“ ‘Lex, come on.” 

Reggie shook Alex’s shoulder and his vision began to clear. Oh. 

“What, why am I in the studio?” He asked frantically. “How did I- my test!” He stood up and not bothering to figure out why he was dizzy, Alex rushed to the doorway. 

“Nope.” Bobby clasped his shoulder tightly and steered him back to the couch. “Sit down, idiot, you almost passed out.”

“Dude, who punched you?” Luke asked, scooting in closer to Alex and gazing furiously at the bruise on his face.

Alex shrugged. “I don’t- I’m not- it’s…”

“Mr. Thomas said you came into his classroom and tried to ask for the test but he wouldn’t let you since you’d just been beat up and then Bobby heard you in the room cause, cause he came up to the school to give you a ride so you didn’t have to walk-”

“Reggie slow down, you’re gonna give him another panic attack!” Luke scolded, swatting Reggie’s chest and shoving him lightly. 

Bobby sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Mr. Thomas is letting you retake the test next week, drink some water.” 

Alex took the glass gratefully and took a hesitant sip. He set the water down and breathed in, settling into the couch, still tense. “ ‘M sorry,” he muttered.

“Sorry? Dude what?” Luke looked at Alex, completely baffled. “What are you apologizing for?”

“I made you cancel practice so I could take my test but I didn’t even take it.”

“Don’t be stupid,” Reggie chided. “We’re not mad at you-”

“Yea it’s whatever asshat punched you that we’re mad at.”

“Bobby, we’re not killing anyone.”

“Yea please don’t get yourself arrested for me,” Alex laughed softly. 

Bobby shook his head and flopped down on the couch beside Reggie. “Fine.”

“Hey,” Luke shook Alex gently. “You want some chocolate? Reg got some of that fancy stuff-”

“No, I draw the line at giving him my chocolates,” Reggie complained, reaching across Alex to slap a hand over Luke’s mouth. “Ew! Dude, you licked me!” Reggie whined loudly as he shook his hand, pretending to gag. “That’s just low.”

“Shut up.”

“You shut up.”

“You’re both stupid.”

Alex let his head fall against the back of the couch, a small smile creeping onto his face.

---

I’m not great at angst, so I’m not quite sure why I thought I’d do well with this fic akhfkldsfh

please tell me if there’s anything else I should add a warning for, I tried to do everything but I could’ve overlooked something. 

chapter 3

chapter 4

#jatp #julie and the phantoms #jatp fic #alex mercer #luke patterson #reggie peters #bobby wilson #trevor wilson #sunset curve #alex mercer fic #willow writes

[wouldduskwood]

Jake’s POV Descendants of Despair Part 5

Contains swearing

She cast me a confused look, which made me smile behind my mask. Shit. To cover my emotions, I hurried on with what I had been saying. 

“How did you follow me? I thought I was careful to avoid being tracked, yet you managed it and relatively easily by the look of it. If there are weaknesses in my strategies I want to know about them.”

‘Good,’ I thought to myself. ‘Focus on her strategies. Solve the mystery. Move on and keep yourself safe.’ I watched as she nodded and waited with baited breath for her reply.

“Your one weakness is you didn’t look up. You constantly scan without drawing attention to that fact, and you blend well enough, but you never scanned what was above you and I prefer using roofing to get around unseen. It tends to work for my purposes, I guess it was just as effective this time as well.” She admitted then cringed. Aha, finally I was getting somewhere. Finally I was seeing how she worked...and dammit I was impressed. I was willing to bet that she was pissed that she had told me her strategies...and I had to find out. 

I cocked my head to the side, hoping to gain the information I so desperately wanted.

“I gave away more about myself. I’ve told you everything you need to know to be able to follow me. I am getting far too careless.”

I was suddenly thankful for the privacy my mask offered as I found myself, once again, smiling. I was pleased that I had predicted her reaction but still stunned by this mysterious girl. I watched silently as she lowered her head, her cap covering more of her face and hair. Frustrating. I wanted to see more, not less. 

I sighed quietly. “Remember, I invited you here to provide you with some comfort. We should get some sleep, we will revisit things in the morning…” She nodded warily and scanned the warehouse again. ‘Was she really looking for a place to sleep?’ I asked myself. ‘How could she think I wouldn’t provide her with the most comfort I had.’

 “No, you can take the bed…” I reprimanded and pointed towards a mattress on the floor covered with woolen blankets. She shook her head. “I can’t take your bed. I am fine in a corner.” Frustrating. She was as stubborn as I was.

 “Nuh uh, no deal, take the bed and I’ll sleep on my computer chair. I need to be near it anyway.” I answered and turned my back on her before she could argue. I headed into my office, shutting the door behind me.

Alone in my office, I changed into dry clothes then slunk on my chair and cringed. She was disarming in a way I was not at all used to. I was about to settle in for the night, but I couldn’t get her out of my mind. The predictably of some of her reactions was rivaled by the unpredictability of others. I couldn’t understand her, but I knew full well that she would be looking to escape at the first opportunity she had, and there was no way I was willing to let that happen without my knowledge.

Casting my mind over her actions, I realised pretty quickly that her backpack would be key to keeping track of her, but would also be the least likely thing I could gain access to without her knowledge. Slipping quietly from my room, I paused as I heard her stir and waited for her to settle back into sleep. She slept fitfully and frustratingly still covered by a hood and cap. I cringed as I recognised the similarities between us. Identities that needed to be hidden. How could that ever possibly work? ‘What the fuck are you thinking?’ I cut myself off quickly. ‘How could that work? Like you want a relationship? Don’t let that girl get to you! You’ll make mistakes! You’ll get her hurt as well as you!’

Closing my eyes briefly, I centred myself then scanned the sleeping quarters for her backpack. Sure enough, it was hidden. Her other bags, however, were easy enough to target by dropping a small handful of tracking devices into their depths. Thankfully, I was fairly adept at making these myself and had managed to find ways to make them both tiny and self contained.

Smiling to myself, I made my way back to my computer chair and waited for morning. As the first rays of light hit the window, I was up and waiting. I knew she would be making her escape sooner rather than later. 

Sure enough, she appeared and I was there waiting, arms folded, once again thankful for the privacy my mask gave as I smiled broadly while waiting for her response. Finally, I had an advantage and I still had another trick up my sleeve, another GPS chip I planned to put on her hoodie if I could be careful enough. I watched as she dropped everything except her backpack and sighed. “So, what? Hostage situation?” she asked with a small grin. I was shocked she would think that, but of course it was a logical assumption based on what she was confronted with.

“No, not a hostage situation, but this isn’t really working is it?” I asked.

“Look, Jake, you don’t know me. I’ve lied most of the way through this investigation for Hannah. You shouldn’t care what happens to me from here.” She stated harshly but my mind fixated on the way she said my name. ‘Get in the game, Jake’ I reprimanded myself.  “Lies are interesting things. They are always easier to force on someone when there is a shadow of truth to them. So tell me, MC, how much of your lies were actually the truth.” I asked while staring intently into her covered eyes. She pushed past me and headed into the warehouse, turning her back to me. “Don’t pull at that thread” She pleaded quietly. I reached out and grabbed her arm, threading my fingers through the material of her hoodie, thankful that I had prevented her from moving while I worked to embed the chip in her sleeve. Just as I was fairly sure I had gotten a secure placement, she pulled away from my grip. “Please,” I pleaded intensely. At first she ignored my plea but I let the silence grow, unsure of what else I could do. “Pretty much everything I told everybody else was a half truth or what I wanted them to hear, but you…Jake…everything…every single damn thing that I ever told you was the Goddamn truth. I may not have always told you everything but I never once lied to you.” she admitted. Then, before I could react, she was already scaling the wall cabinetry. I watched as she kicked the edges of one of the windows at the top, and swung herself out with practised movements. ‘Everything she told me was the truth,’ the thought clung to my mind as I remembered all the conversations I had cherished the most. 

Part 6

#duskwood #duskwood fanfiction #duskwood fanfic #jakexmc #jake x mc #duskwood jake x mc #duskwood jakexmc #duskwood jakexplayer #duskwood jake x player #duskwood jake pov #fanfiction #fanfic

[hopelikethemoon]

Haunted (Javier x Reader) {MTMF}

Title: Haunted Rating: PG-13 Length: 3700 Warnings: Potential triggers if you have toxic family members and/or family members or loved ones with addiction, emotional abuse, childhood trauma, and allusions to childhood abuse. Notes: You can find everything about Maybe Today, Maybe Forever here. Set November 1st 1998. Summary: Reader grapples with her mother. 

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You laid on your side watching as another minute ticked by on the alarm clock sitting on the nightstand beside your bed. For the past two hours, you had watched as the red numbers transformed from 3:00 to 3:30 to 4:00 and finally now 4:43. 

You had willed it to stay October 31st just a little bit longer, but against your wishes, it was November 1st. 

The Halloween party at Josie’s school had been fun and you had tried to live within that moment for as long as possible. 

Josie had been thrilled to win the dumpster diving game, which had been a hilarious sight to witness. Javier had held her by her ankles as she dove into a trash can to find a plastic rat that was tucked into one of the empty boxes near the bottom of the can.

She had found the rat, when none of her classmates had been able to. 

Josie’s triumphant grin as she declared herself the Rat Queen had been enough to chase away the anxiety that was now clawing at your stomach. 

But then you came home. Monica and Nadia departed for a party downtown. Josie’s braids came out and she traded her Wednesday Addams costume for pajamas and you no longer had anything to occupy your thoughts with. 

It felt like a waking nightmare. 

Javier has tried to console you. He kept close to you all night, one hand constantly at your waist or your hand or your knee. Like he was trying to keep you grounded. And he did. 

But there was only so much he could do to chase away the past, when the past had arrived on your doorstep — unwilling to leave. 

It had been a real fear of yours. Even Mitch had reached out to you when the article was syndicated into The Washington Post and The New York Times. Even Good Morning America had rehashed the particulars of the story one Monday morning.

Monica was hiding from her parents, but you had been hiding from your own mother too. And you hadn’t seen her since you were sixteen and desperate to escape. 

Before you left for Colombia, you had used your resources to check in on her. Morbid curiosity really. You had forged your own path for yourself, against the odds, and you had wanted to indulge yourself. You had to know if you truly had made the right choice.

And you had. Rebecca was married yet again, settling into her fifth marriage and he had a record a mile long that you hadn’t bothered to comb through. She wasn’t your problem. There was only so far you could carry her on your conscience. 

Javier moved behind you, seeking you out beneath the covers as he snaked his arm around your waist, drawing you back against his chest. He sighed heavily, pressing his face into the crook of your neck.

“I can feel your mind racing.” He murmured, brushing his lips against the soft curve of your neck, his breath dancing hotly over your skin. 

“I’m sorry.” You whispered, curling your hand around his as you sank back against him. “I have too much on my mind.”

Javier ran his hand over your stomach reassuringly, “I know, baby.”

“I should’ve known. The handwriting was on the wall.” You lamented. “She sees success — she sees happiness and she tries to blot it out.”

He lifted his hand, brushing his fingers over your cheek as he tucked your hair behind your ear. “I’ll be with you. I’m not going to let you deal with her alone.”

“When I was like nine, I spent the weekend with my father.” You recalled quietly, “He would’ve loved you.”

“Yeah?”

“I see so much of how he was with me, when you’re with Josie.” You sighed heavily, nestling back against him more. “But he bought me this really cool bike. It had a basket and a bell.” You laughed as you thought back on that weekend. It felt like a lifetime ago. “It wasn’t much, I’m sure but to a kid… it was everything. I took care of that bike like it was a pet. I always kept it upright when I wasn’t riding it, I would stow it in the garage to keep it safe.”

“And what happened?”

“Rebecca backed over it. Swore up and down that I had left it in the driveway behind her car. Which I never would have done.” You sniffed, trying to ignore the prickle of mushed tears. “My dad bought me a new one, but I kept it at his house. I was nine, but I wasn’t stupid. I knew what she had done.”

“I’m sorry, baby.” He ran his hand down your arm, taking hold of your hand and interlacing your fingers. “We’ll get through this today. Together.”

“I don’t know how she found me.”

“I do.” Javier squeezed your hand. “She apparently followed you from the P.D.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

He shook his head. “She’s certainly a piece of work.”

“I don’t want her anywhere near the girls.” You insisted, your voice wavering. “I fought so hard to stay clear of her path. It isn’t fair. She can’t just show up—“

“Shhh.” Javier soothed you, pressing his lips to the spot right behind your ear. 

“I just hate this Javi.” You swallowed thickly, rolling onto your back, but keeping yourself close to him. “I thought this year was going to be better. Last year was hell and I felt like I had finally overcome so many of the hang ups that existed because of her.”

He kept his arm wrapped around you, his fingers curled around your waist. “Her showing up doesn’t change any of that.” Javier told you. 

“I know that, but…” You shook your head slowly. “And I feel so ungrateful, shouldn't I be happy that I have a mother?”

“No.” Javier kissed your shoulder. “It’s not the same and we both know it, baby. You’ve told me enough about your mother to know she gave up the right of being your mother a long time ago.”

You turned towards him then, resting your forehead against his collarbone. “Thank you for understanding.”

Javier ran his hand up and down the length of your back, “I’m glad you’ve always let me in.”

He had always been the one you told your deepest darkest secrets to. Even back in Colombia, before Josie was even a thought. You spilled your guts to him. You told him everything. Javier was he one person you trusted with your past. 

“I love you,” You whispered as you brushed your fingers over his cheek, drawing him in so you could kiss him. 

Javier brushed his nose against yours, “I’m here for you no matter what, baby.” He promised, “And if you want me to send her own her way…”

“No, I’ll face her. I owe myself that much.” You sighed, sinking back against the bed, staring up at the dark ceiling above. “What all did she say to you?”

He shrugged, “A few off the cuff remarks.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah.” He clicked his tongue against his teeth, “Apparently I’m not what she pictured for her beloved daughter.”

You snorted, “Trust her to think she knows me.”

“I only took mild offense to it.” He chuckled, running his hand over the length of your side. “It was clear she was trying to get her hooks in.”

“Let me guess…” You rubbed your lips together thoughtfully, pressing closer to Javier like you couldn’t get quite close enough to him. “You’re too old for me?” You reached up and played your fingers through his hair. 

“Spot on.” Javier chuckled, leaning down to press a kiss to the corner of your lips, sighing quietly. “How old were you?”

“Sixteen.” You answered quietly, tracing your thumb over the rise of his cheekbone. “My dad died—“

“— and you moved to Philadelphia.”

You nodded. “Mitch and the family lawyer helped me sort out emancipation and enrolling in high school there.”

“And you did that. All on your own.” He reminded you, brushing his lips against yours. 

“My dad knew what he was doing. If he hadn’t left me the money, I don’t know what I would’ve done.”

“You would’ve persevered, baby. Have you met you?”

“Or I’d be as strung out as she is.” You turned towards him once more, pressing close to him. You ran your hand from his shoulder down his arm and back again. “Is it bad that I don’t care? I know I should be more empathetic but all I feel is… apathy. I’ve been here before.”

“You’re allowed to feel however you feel, baby. I’m not going to judge you.” He kissed the top of your head. “Especially if you’ve seen this happen before.”

“She gets clean long enough to catch someone new to facilitate her habits.” You hummed softly as Javier laid back and pulled you down with him. He wrapped both arms around you, like he was trying to keep you from getting carried away by your memories. “I don’t want the girls caught in the middle of this. And that means Monica and Nadia too.”

“I know,” He ran his hand down your back, “It’s just going to be the three of us. I’ll make sure she leaves. If she shows up again, I’m not against calling the cops on her.”

You let out a heavy sigh as you let yourself relax against his chest, “I just want this over with.”

 ——

 “This is a lovely backyard,” Rebecca offered hesitantly as she gestured around the space. “Will I be welcomed into your humble abode? I’m just dying to see where my daughter lives.”

Your brows rose upwards in surprise.

“I did say we’d meet in the backyard.” Javier interjected, reaching out to rest his hand on your shoulder reassuringly. 

“Yes, but that was your decision. My little girl can make her own choices, can’t you sweetheart?”

“If I were making my own choices, you wouldn’t be here right now.” You gritted, “Javier was kind enough to extend my grace than I was willing to.”

Your mother seemed surprised by your response, “I’m trying to make amends for the past. Can’t you see that? How can you deny me the right to see my grandbabies?”

You scoffed, “You have no rights. None. You gave up any chance to have a part in my life when I was very young.”

“Oh, don’t say that.” Rebecca turned her attention to Javier then. “She’s convinced you I’m some monster, hasn’t she? She was such a little trouble maker, what was I supposed to do? Let her run free?” She rocked back in her seat, looking away then. 

“That doesn’t sound like amends,” Javier pointed out. 

“Javier,” You shook your head, reaching over to rest your hand on his knee. He was more than willing to fight this battle for you, but you could handle it. 

He nodded, resting his hand over yours. Your mother’s gaze flickered towards your hands. 

“You don’t have a ring.”

“Why would I?” You questioned, suppressing the urge to scream that you were married to the man you loved despite everything in your past that told you to run from allusions of commitment. 

“Two little girls out of wedlock?” Rebecca tsked, shaking her head as she set her sights on you. “I could’ve told he was bad news. Just look at him.”

You felt fire roar through your veins as you pitched forward in your chair, “You don’t get to say one bad word about Javier. If there’s bad news here, it’s you mother.”

She feigned injury at your words, “All I ever tried to do was protect you. But everyone else tried to lead you astray. They tried to take you away from me.”

You laughed, the sound coming out almost maniacal. “Who? Dad? God, I wish he had.” You squeezed Javier’s leg, like you were trying to ground yourself in your reality. 

“He filled your head with so many lies about me.” She jeered a finger at you, “He was a rotten man. Always trying to drag me into court. Trying to paint a picture that was all wrong.”

“Oh, right. Yeah.” You shook your head. “I guess you probably thought Uldi was a better father, right? Nothing says step-dad quiet like throwing beer on a ten-year-old.” 

“Well, he never tried to take you away from me!”

“He was a drug dealer, mom!” You snapped, your voice cracking as you glared at her. “And the fact that I knew that — at ten — speaks volumes. How many people were in and out of our house? All hours of the day.” You looked away then. “Dad never used. I don’t know how you ever ended up with him.”

“Chuck had money.” Rebecca answered, though she seemed like she regretted it the second she said it. 

“Is that why you’re here now?”

“What?” 

“Money.” You pressed, narrowing your eyes as you focused on her once more. “I bet you saw the article in the paper — figured I was doing well for myself and you thought… there’s a money tree I haven’t tapped yet.”

“No. No!” She held up her hands in defense. “I didn’t think that. I only meant to come here to see my grandbabies. I had to find you again, sweetheart. I missed you.”

“You followed her from her job,” Javier reminded her, his voice tinged with a venom you weren’t sure you had heard since Colombia. “That’s not the correct way to find someone you claim to care about.”

“What would you know?” Rebecca gritted out. “I read the articles. You’re no saint.”

“Never once said I was.” Javier clicked his tongue against his teeth. He released his hold on your hand and leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “I do know one thing, you had to read an article to know jackshit about your daughter’s life, while I was right there beside her for all of it. So maybe you should fucking listen.”

“Did you hear how he just spoke to me?” Rebecca questioned, looking to you then. “Are you going to let him sit there and disrespect me?”

You shrugged, “Are you going to sit there and pull crocodile tears? I remember they worked so well for you in court.” 

“I’m clean now, sweetie!” Her voice cracked. “Quit dredging up the past.”

“I wish it were that easy,” You retorted, “I wish there were some magic switch that shut off the past. Because the past gets ‘dredged’ up all the time for me.” You dragged your fingers through your hair as you exhaled slowly. “I’ve almost let the best parts of my life slip out of my hold because of you. Because you managed to fuck up sixteen years of my life and twenty-odd years removed hasn’t fixed me.”

“That’s not my fault!” Rebecca snapped, her voice edging towards hysterics. “If you weren’t such an ungrateful little brat, things would’ve been good. But every time things didn’t go your way, you went running and crying to your daddy. Treating him like some white knight, sweeping in to save the day.” 

“Fuck you.” You growled out. 

“It’s the truth, sweetheart. Life’s not easy. And you made mine hell every time you made up some outlandish claim about me so you could spend more time with Chuck. What did he have that I didn’t have? You would’ve come running back to me the second you didn’t get what you wanted.”

“This might come as a shock to you, but all I wanted was to feel safe. It’s not normal for a five-year-old to sleep with a chair in front of her door! And I did that. Parents should be chasing the monsters of their child’s closets, not opening the door and letting them in.”

“You were always safe!”

“I saw a man OD when I was thirteen.” Your fingers curled into fists on against the tops of your legs. “I think my favorite part of dad’s place was that I had a bed. A proper bed. You know, something other than a box spring.”

Javier’s head snapped to look at you, his brows furrowed together as he searched your face. Apparently, you hadn’t gotten into these particulars before. 

“You think you could do better?”

“I mean I know I can.” You laughed bitterly. “Against all odds I’ve managed to raise two beautiful little girls. Despite constantly worrying that I was going to turn out like you.”

Rebecca switched tactic then, right on schedule. “And I’m so proud of you sweetheart. You’ve done so well for yourself.” 

“I have.”

“I’ll admit,” She started. “I was disappointed to read about what sort of man you ended up with.” She gave Javier a look askance. “He’s so much older than you.”

“Mother, it’s only nine years.”

“Who do the girls look like?”

You rolled your eyes, scratching at your forehead. “We’re not having this conversation. Actually, I think we’re done.”

“Twenty-two years apart and this is how you treat me? You’re still that same ungrateful little bitch—“

“That’s enough!” Javier was quick to his feet. “You’re leaving, now.”

“Who do you think you are?” Rebecca questioned, rising to her feet like she expected to square off with Javier. 

“The person who has been there for her.” Javier gritted out. “Look, I don’t know if you came here with good intentions or not, but you’ve crossed a line. Multiple lines. If I catch you following her again or anywhere near our house — I won’t need to call the cops.”

You hadn’t seen this side of Javier in a long time. 

“Are you threatening me?” Rebecca actually cowered, trying to play into your sympathy. “Is this the kind of man you let near your daughters?”

“Get off my property.” You said flatly. “I don’t want you here or in my life.”

“You’re breaking my heart! You’ve never cared about me.” She cried, “I hope you never know what it’s like to have your daughter turn her back on you! To treat you like a monster.”

“You were a monster, mother!” You snapped, coming entirely unhinged. “It is a goddamn miracle that I know how to have any semblance of a happy relationship. I have been with Javier for ten years!”

It didn’t matter that only half of that was an actual relationship — it was all the same to you. He was a constant fixture. 

“How long did your marriages last? Ten months? This is what? Seven? Eight?” You let out an incredulous sound, “I bet you have two pages in the record books. You need to figure out how to be okay with being alone, mother. Because no one is going to be there for you.”

“You would just send your mother away? I raised you for sixteen years and this is how you repay me? You owe me for everything I did for you. I fed you, I clothed you, I cared for you. What did your daddy ever do for you, aside from die and facilitate you stabbing me in the back one more time?” Rebecca sneered at you. “You deserve all the shit you went through. That’s payback for hurting me. All I ever did was love you.”

You took a step back. “I’m going to count to ten and I want you off my property.”

“I’m just going to kill myself,” Rebecca threatened. “That’s what you want, isn’t it? You won’t rest until I’m six feet under! Denying me my right to see my grandbabies. My flesh and blood.”

“They are my children, Rebecca. And their grandmother is dead.” You set your teeth together hard enough that your jaw ached. “You have no power over me, my family, or my future. I don’t want anything from you. I simply don’t care.”

“I’m going to call the cops,” Javier threatened, giving you a wary look. 

“I’ll leave.” Rebecca said frantically. “I’ll go. Since I’m nothing to you!” She pointed at you. “I come here to make amends and this—“

“You came to make excuses.” You fumed. “You’re fucking psycho, mother! Get help. Get real help.”

“Won’t you help me?”

“No.” You turned away then. “Javier can you escort her to her car?”

“Yeah,” He nodded stiffly, brushing his hand over your back as he walked past, “You’re leaving now.”

“I’m going!” Rebecca pronounced dramatically. “Since my daughter would sooner see me dead!”

You sank back down in your set, staring at the empty one across from you. She was still ranting as Javier escorted her out of the yard, but you stopped listening. 

She hadn’t changed. You had stupidly hoped, deep down, that maybe she was clean. That maybe she had changed. But she was still the same unhinged abuser that ruined your childhood. 

How you managed to share DNA with her, made you wonder. Though, you knew you had traits that came from her. 

You used to use people. One night stands to make you feel wanted. Lance to fill a void you didn’t know how to fill. 

But it wasn’t like that with Javier. He made you want to be a better person — to love and love and be happy. To overcome everything that should’ve held you back. 

“She’s gone.” Javier’s hands rested on your shoulders as he leaned over the back of the car. “I told her if she came near our house again I would call the cops.”

“Thank you.”

“No gratitude necessary, baby.” He assured you, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. “She’s… certainly something.”

“She’s a train wreck.” You sighed, shaking your head as you chewed on your bottom lip. 

“People like that… they’ll say anything to get a reaction.”

“Yeah.” You looked down at your hands. “I’m not like her, am I?”

“Baby.”

“I know. I know. I just… that is my worst nightmare. Well, losing you or the girls… this — Rebecca — is a close second.”

“Night and day.” Javier petted his hand over your head. “You’re not your mother, baby.”

“Good.” Smiled weakly. “I think I’m going to go back to bed. Today sucked.” You peeled yourself out of your chair. “Wanna join me?”

He smiled adoringly at you before he nodded. “Whatever you want.”

#javier pena #javier pena x reader #pedro pascal x reader