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pbaintthetb · 5 months

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For the author ask, your BTS commentary of your fav scene of Pour Some Memory Down :)

oooh an exciting one (and dangerous asking me for a commentary) It's the second (first full) scene of Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang on the pier. There were a few options but there's a lot of stuff inthis bit that I liked and also them on the pier is the core and inspo for this fic

Cut for length

Nie Huaisang is still floating calmly in the lake, his words about the Xuanwu rolling through Jiang Cheng’s head.

The Xuanwu! Simply put Nie Huaisang is a lying liar who lies- and more importantly it's about how Jiang Cheng doesn't pick up on it because his mind is sort of always stuck on Nie Huaisang being weaker or needing help. He's never considered how, if huaisang cana't swim, he got out of that cave. And he's starting to question that now- although there's a later paragraph where JC shows how he's trying to not think about that and how it means nhs is a liar. I tend to write JC as putting nhs on a pedestal while simultaneously having infinite gripes with him. THey're complicated boys.

Jiang Cheng is still standing on the pier, the rain is pelting but the worst of the storm is yet to come. The dry riverbed gasping it in, unaware-

Continuining as is the case with this whole fic, JC's mental/headspace is abysmal, like words cannot. Also lots of pathetic fallacy. It's kind of meant to be a metaphor for jc's trauma, I guess. It's bad and he's soaking the pain in and moping in it- but he's got a whole week of this and it's gonna get worse. Just like the riverbed- and JC doesn't want to think about that either

The ground surrounding the pier is wet and seems less like ash, the river a gaping mouth trying to swallow it up

Ash and burning vs wetness and rain were the two big things about this fic. Again, I'm a basic cheap ass bitch, pathetic fallacy. They're fighting each other just like Jiang Cheng's thoughts! The rain extinguishes the fire and washes away the ash! but it's dangerous and damaging in its own way. You have to be careful with it. They complement each other, just like sangcheng.

“Last time you were the one in the water and I was the one sitting on the edge of the lake.” A pause. “Different bit of lake I guess.” “It’s the same bit of lake.”

This is probably one of my favourite exchanges in the whole fic tbh. Different but the same, many years and many changes but still them, maybe in some ways unrecognisable, but still them. There is also something in here about how JC is trying to cling to good things that have changed from him and while he feels like he needs it, it's not good for him. Jiang Cheng in his jc way, is trying to say a lot more to nhs than it just being the same bit of lake. NHS is unfortunatley not a mind reader, although today he really is trying. He's starting to realise that maybe JC is just of big a liar as NHS himself is, just in different ways.

For jc's part he's saying, we can be those carefree kids again, right? we can? Nothing has changed, right? We're still us, right? and he knows it's not but he wants it to be.

Then, Nie Huaisang’s eyes are so very, very close to Jiang Cheng’s own, staring at him unblinkingly. Water streams down his face, dripping off his nose- and it’s raining right now, sure, but Huaisang’s mouth looks so very wet and-

The first kiss fake out! I think this is actually the only one I intended to be a fake out, all the other ones were times I wanted them to kiss but decided it felt weird to have them have a big sloppy while one of them was like... dissassociating, or crying, or hitting the other

Also, Huaisang totes knows what he's going

“-did you want me to die? Did you want us to die? Did you want yourself to die?”

Jiang Cheng starting to realise that NHS might not be so alright- and JC starting to really properly break out of his fog. This is actually partly why nhs drags jc into the river he's starting to realise jc worries about him so he's, very very poorly, trying to get jc more in the moment but making him fuss about him. For his part, JC is doing his usual "break your legs bluster" but as he goes on he starts to wonder and worry about what NHS was doing

Some of the anger begins to turn to fear as his words catch up with him, but it’s still unbelievably, wonderfully, unbearably sharp . Had that been what Huai-

as I was saying above, the strategy might be sus, but NHS sort of flics JC out of his introspection and back into the now- and JC evens start to wonder if that's what NHS was doing before he gets distracted by nhs again and also his complte denial and inability to consider nhs outside his framework of the "weaker one" at this point in the story- until yanno, he starts wondering how come nhs copes with grief better (debateable) and if that makes nhs stronger

“I said that [killing JC/NHS} that would kind of defeat the whole point,” the other sect leader mutters, like a petulant child. (And Jiang Cheng knows some.)

Jin Ling is the petulant child. But yes, some more light on NHS' agenda! To make sure JC doesn't accidentally drown himself in his own grief, to help JC with the worst week of his life by distracting him- a tactic that uh, JC maybe doesn't appreciate but that's the fic. JC, of course, has no idea what NHS is talking about and just tries to ignore it. Also this is NHS so even when he's talking about pretty serious things (his fear that JC is heading towards his own destructive spiral leading to his grave) he's gotta be a little brat about it. Can't show real genuine emotion, let alone care, ot Jiang Cheng eh?

IDk I felt it was very them, they're both allergic to letting each other they care about the other becuase of the gulf between them, and the history, and the current circumstances of their life, and their own personal traumas. But they care, they do.

Oh also, if I'm talking about it, while NHS is somewhat concerned about JC being possibly suicidal he IS mostly being facetious- it's like, JC has dealt with this awful week for several years and he's still kicking. NHS is more worried that it's not sustainable and has also realised that maybe it's not fair that JC always has to deal with it alone. JC does not (in his own internal thoughst at least) consider himself suicidal or wanting to die. He just... isn't entirely emotionally connected to the phsycial plane at this point in time. Lastly something to note that never really comes up because NHS doesn't notice and JC doesn't say but um admittedly to an extent nHS being here has made jC worse- which is why nhs has weird fluctuating concern. JC can't completely disconnect in a way that he typically woud (Unhealthy coping behaviour all the same) because he needs to entertain/interact with Huaisang. This means that JC actually has to deal with all his emotions in this week for once (not that he does that either, all the cut off thoughts) as opposed to competely checking out for a week and coming back to himself surrounded by alcohol ocassionally

#ask game #mdzs #jiang cheng #nie huaisang #fic #author commentary #long post #thank you so much for teh ask btw #sorry if i was a bit self indulgent with it #i just do like this whole scene #a lot

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shadelostwolf · 7 months

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OC-Tober Day 11: In a different story world or setting

Prompt: In a different story world or setting

I used the OC-tober list made by @icannotreadcursive

Link here

Hoo boy this almost ran away from me... I've always wanted to write this story in a different setting. Might try it for fun now.

OC: Levi

Levi watched as they dragged a male out of his home, kicking and screaming. The soldiers lifted the male and tossed him into the large cage attached to four horses. Soon, a woman was being pulled out to join the male. Levi shifted his head to the side to get a better look at how many were in the cage, only to duck back down out of the window when a soldier looked his way. The wall he was pressed against was old and worn. The whole house was in the same condition. The stay was only going to be temporary, just long enough for the kittens to feel better. It was starting to look like he overstayed.

He glanced down at the two kittens in his care. They were currently sleeping curled in the grass weaved bag that he had nicked off someone’s step to use. He quickly tucked the blanket around the two sleeping kittens before he picked the bag up. Keeping low, he slowly started to inch his way to the back of the old house. He made sure to avoid any windows as he moved. It was best if the soldiers just thought the house was run down.

Before stepping out of the house, he tugged the large hood over his tawny brown hair to hide the points of his ears and faded markings on his rich bronze tan skin. His bright green eyes scanned the forest behind the house before taking a deep breath and slowly letting it out. He had to do it. Levi tried to avoid the large forest. Instead, he traveled around the edge of it. He needed to get to his brother. It was important that Levi looked for him in the capital of the territory next to the one he grew up in. His mom had said he was there when he last saw her. Said they would meet up there after they split at the checkpoint. He never understood why they hunted down people like him.

But he also never looked like he did before. The pointed ears and faded markings had shown up in the last year after his dad had disappeared. Only to find out that his parents weren’t really his parents and that he had a brother who lived only two days away. Levi needed to find him, and maybe he could help him hide these markings. Since he was his brother, he had to know how, right?

Levi rushed for the forest when he heard someone screaming and yelling. He kept running until the sounds of crying and pleas on deaf ears faded away, and the only thing he could hear was his gasping breaths and the sounds of the forest. Finding his way through the forest was going to be difficult. He had wanted to avoid it as much as possible, but it was starting to look like he’d have to travel through the large forest.

Branches snagged at his dad’s old cloak, causing him to yank and break a few branches. He tugged the cloth closer around himself as he used the quickly lengthening shadows from the trees to hide himself better.

He was starting to slow down when one of the small kittens made a sound, pulling Levi’s attention down to the bag. Large gray eyes looked up at him, and he pulled the blanket back over the kitten. Levi gave a small shush as he pushed on.

Levi managed to find a small stream where he dropped to his knees and sat the bag down along with the travel pack on his back. He tugged his water skin out to refill as he watched the bag with the kittens wiggle back and forth. Looking back around him, he quickly capped the water skin and shook the extra water off before tucking it back into his travel pack.

He’ll need to find a place to settle soon. At least somewhere where he could let the kittens roam for a bit. One of the kittens had a broken leg, so he doesn't roam far, and his sister seems to stick close. His pack slid back into place under his cloak while he watched the trees around him. He had to be careful. Levi squashed the bag again, and it fell silent as he picked it up. Too much noise would attract the wrong kind of attention.

Standing up, he looked over his shoulder before heading upstream. He kept one hand in the bag next to the kittens to keep them settled as his eyes scanned over the woods.

Levi had a long walk ahead of him as the sun started to drift closer to the horizon. He pushed forward. Hopefully, he’ll find a place to sleep soon.

#my writing #oc tober #oc-tober #oc-tober23 #oc tober23 #original character #october challenge #october challenge 2023 #writing prompt #writing challenge #alternate universe #alternate setting #what if

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beautifulpersonpeach · 1 year

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Hello there! Do you have some tips for dealing with a news album release by the Tannies?

I'm very slow when it comes to these things and get overwhelmed very quickly. I'm also not someone that usually listens to an entire album in one go. I tend to hyperfixate on one specific song (I feel like 80 percent of Troye Sivan's "Bloom" Spotify streamings came from me this year) and create my own mood playlists with different artists and put that on repeat.

And now with RM's new album, there's so much to unpack. There seems to be so much meaning.

I just watched the Wildflowers MV and I'm already emotionally overwhelmed (okay, I'm also currently on my period lol). But I do want to explore the artistry behind "Indigo"…but I need time.

Is there a good way to approach this? First listening to the sound? Then the lyrics? Then reading people's analysis? How do you approach a new album release?

***

Hi @guacamoli-avocadorado !

I have to admit first that I have a bit of a cheat code. I do understand Korean, so much of the lyrical expression, wordplay, etc, are things I typically pick up after only a couple of listens.

But I also think your way of doing things is already perfectly fine. You said you’re “slow” when it comes to fully taking in their music, but since when is that a bad thing? It is very fine to get into their music at your own pace. And I really mean that.

My favourite thing about any comeback is the interviews, and the way I get into music is to follow wherever my curiosity leads me.

I usually first listen to the whole album once on Spotify or Apple Music (depending on which I have open at the time). I just let it run through without thinking about it at all.

Then I watch the MV or whatever is released as the MV title track.

Then (not usually on purpose but life happens), I take a break. I don’t listen to anything but just do something else for a while. Usually during this time, one of the guys will come online to do a Wlive to explain the album/song, or there’s be some kind of official media (magazine interviews, tv interviews etc) explaining the album and I personally take my time listening to and reading these before getting back into the album.

Afterwards I listen to the whole album again and just let it play through. By this time I’ve gravitated towards one song or the other and I either replay those songs or begin adding them to my playlists. I also like to listen with different headphones and speakers at about the 5th listen. This might seem a bit much, but I think the members seem to have a preference for making music in specific frequencies and media. For example, I think Yoongi's music sounds better on speakers, Hobi's best on headphones (with the exception of Chicken Noodle Soup), and Joon seems to optimize for a mix of both.

I also have a Shazam playlist that I actively keep, and this way I can pair similar sounding songs.

I take long breaks often because I like to switch up what I listen to. So for example, just now, right after listening to the whole album again, I played my Hebrew music playlist (~20 mins), then a heavy grunge rock + rap playlist (~25 mins), then came back to Indigo. I don’t usually add the new songs to my playlists until a day or two later after I have an idea of how those songs fit with what I typically listen to.

Occasionally my friends send me ARMY theories about the songs, but as I said, I typically get the lyrics right away and over the course of days and weeks I sort of organically hear about fan theories for the songs etc.

Please don’t feel pressure to stream as hard as you can if you’re not inclined to do that anyway. Everybody in this fandom literally just does what they want, so why can’t you? Do what you want. If you feel overwhelmed by the music, video, theories etc, just take a break for as long as you want. When Mono first dropped, I didn’t listen to it for weeks. I was busy with work and just not that curious about the album though of course I love Joon. I got into it when I wanted and didn’t love it right away. But as I've said before, Joon makes music for use, and one day I was sitting in traffic in my car, it was raining, and Bad Bye came on and it felt absolutely perfect. I made the whole album play through for over an hour and I’ve loved that album deeply since that day, playing it very frequently when in that 'use' scenario.

Give yourself time. People on Twitter talk a big game but some people are just saying and doing stuff to keep up appearances. Do what you want when you want to. It’s music, not the bar exam. Whatever you’re doing is already fine.

#indigo #bts rm #namjoon #kim namjoon #bts #bts army

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kelmcdonald · 1 year

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Getting Shit Done!

Hey hey folks!

November was mostly work focused and December will be too. This month in my discord we’re gonna watch an indie werewolf movie called Wolf of Snow Hollow. I was told it had a dry sense of humor but I haven’t seen it yet. If it interests you, pop into my discord on December 7th at 5pm PST.

Last month I finished Murky Water. It’s all done! I’m getting the whole thing proofread now. Then I’ll repost all the old pages with the typos fixed. There is still a paper shortage so I don’t know if I’m gonna print it right away. Like it would be nice to have a new book for conventions but Cautionary Fables South America will be out next year. So it might be better to hold off with it’s crowdfund until next year.

Another thing I finished is my Failure to Launch comic. Patreon backers have been seeing the pencils posted on Fridays, but I finished coloring and lettering it last weekend. It’s written by Ryan North and will appear in the anthology Failure to Launch: a Tour of Ill-Fated Futures. I’m the editor on the book and it’s gonna be a great book. It’s a light-hearted education collection of inventions and world plans that didn’t get to become reality. Some are because they were based on bad science (like my story is about a man who didn’t account for friction or physics in general) but others fell apart because of corporate greed or government interference. I especially like a story written by Harry “Hbomberguy” Brewis about the first attempt at making a union. That’s gonna crowdfund in February. I’ll make sure to let you all know when it’s up.

While doing all this work I watched a lot of TV. So much it’s a little hard to remember it all. The big stand out is probably Interview with the Vampire. While different from the books, the changes the show made really improved the source material. I especially think the show aging Claudia up a little was a good decision. Her being turned so young in the book and movie does some interesting stuff, it doesn’t quite fit with the series as a whole. Her being older lets her run off of a bit on her own and grow into someone away from Louis and Lestate in a way that she couldn’t in the source material. It makes her interesting and nuanced as a character for the show.

And the actress playing her knocks it out of the park. All the actors in the show do. I also like the reporter being older while interviewing Louis and pushing back on him in the interview more. The whole show is just really well put together. I highly recommend it.

Since I wrapped up a lot last month, this month I’m jumping back into You are the Chosen One. So that will be back as my patreon exclusive comic next month. I’ll post pfds of the previous chapters before I start things up again. I’m sure some folks have forgotten what’s happened since the couple of month break.

I’m also getting ready to jump into the next The City Between story. It’s titled Shards of Reflection. I’m gonna try to experiment a little with the storytelling because the main character is an unreliable narrator. It will be interesting to see how things go and I hope I can pull it off.

And I’m really living up to the cartoon of me spinning plates on the Iron Circus Geekshow. Because this month I also need to try and finish up the graphic novel I’ve been writing, Blue Moon. That’s the werewolf YA book I’m doing with Meredith McClaren. The script is due at the end of December. Or at least the first draft is. But it’s kinda fallen to the side while working on everything else.

I’ll be doing my usual streaming this month on Twitch. With so much going on, sometimes it’s hard to focus. So those two hour streams Tues, Wed, and Thurs really help me get at least my drawing done. One streaming thing that Spike and I are planning is on Christmas day we are gonna stream rimworld. During it we’ll be raising money for charity (but haven’t picked one yet). But it will be on both the Iron Circus Youtube as well as my twitch. We are gonna start at Noon Central and 10am PST. So join us if you don’t have Christmas plans. Also, since twitter is exploding I figured I should list all my social medias. You can follow me at these places.

https://twitter.com/kellhound

https://facebook.com/kelmcdonaldart

https://instagram.com/keldrawscomicsoninsta…

https://cohost.org/Kelmcdonald

https://pillowfort.social/kelmcdonald

https://mastodon.social/@kelmcdonald

https://kelmcdonald.tumblr.com

https://twitch.tv/kelmcdonald

Have a good one! Thanks for your support!

#werewolf #werewolves #iron circus comics #ryan north #comics #webcomics #interview with the vampire #you are the chosen one #the city between #newsletter #twitch #rimworld #kelmcdonald #kel mcdonald

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hilarychuff · 2 years

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List five things that make you happy, then put this in the ask box of the last ten people who reblogged something from you. Spread the positivity ✨💛🌻

HELLO i answered this ask to hold myself accountable and then was like “let me leave it in the drafts bc what if i don’t do any of this also is this very vulnerble???” and then the next day!! surprise!! i didn’t do any of this!!! lmao but leaving it pristine as it was at the time with some addendum notes in bold

ok i went on vacation and came back with covid but felt ok enough that the first few days were like yay days off with burnout already addressed!!!! i did so much cleaning!!! but now we're entering the despair stage lmfao so here is my list of five things that make me happy that will be my to do list for tomorrow

procure bagel. not sure how to do this just yet bc i can't go pick up my favorite bagel obviously (closed on wednesdays anyway) but might get one from my backup bagel place delivered for a little treat might go get a bagel today this sounds good

paint my toe nails. haven't done this in a long long long long time like had bare nails the whole first two years of the pandemmy but i got a pedicure with my friend for her birthday and having nice toes made me feel good and right now they look like shit and i said i was going to do them yesterday and didn't and today and didn't but i'm staying home again tomorrow so tomorrow is the day i didn’t that day but i did eventually!!! they’re hot pink and they still look nice which delights me

watching something that delights you!!!! i'm not sure what that will be tomorrow but i really want to watch everything everywhere all at once and at this point it doesn't seem like it's gonna be in a theater so maybe i'll find a way to stream it at home. if not i will !! figure something out maybe another new movie or comfort movie i did eventually see this movie in theaters!!!!! it was so good!!!!!!!!

sitting in the sun!!!!! i have a lil patio i will sit outside i will wear my mask if i have to but i should go sit in the sun maybe when i get my bagel i’ll eat it in the sun

facetime a friend. idk who yet but somebody is getting a facetime from me. i need to talk to another person!!! why did i avoid that today. maybe i'll do that now and again with a different friend tomorrow. ok gonna go do that now hope i'm not lying!!!! i don’t think anyone answered lmao it was kind of late

we love to practice self care!! we SHOULD love to practice self care we more frequently practice self indulgence BUT we’re working on it (a lie again??? possibly but you have to start by setting the intention!!! this is progress)

#ask games

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reflecting-with-cards · 2 years

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10/1/2022 2:41 pm

Tarot rest day, and my thoughts on tarot for spying

Time to reset and clear all vibes off of my main tarot deck again. Reorganizing the cards back to default order is my preferred way of cleansing the deck. I feel like it removes any and all synchronicities that the deck, as a whole, has picked up. I also feel like it temporarily turns my deck "offline," and is akin to doing a hard reset or reformat on electronic devices. Misconfigurations and errors of fate and destiny, I banish thee from my tarot deck! Hehehe. You just have to do very lengthy shuffling sessions to bring the deck back "online."

Anyway, I have a different sideblog for journalling, stream-of-thoughts-on-the-day style, but since what I am writing is relevant to my tarot experiences, might as well write it here. Be warned, it's a rant.

A lot of the social media groups for tarot that I have joined seem to be filled with those questions bordering on "What is X feeling/doing?" You know, "those" types of questions. The worst tarot query was "will x have sex with the unknown girl?" You know, the questions that border on "psychic spying," paranoid, or would warrant a response of "how is that any of your business?" if the foretunelling tool wasn't in the picture.

I am not saying that I don't do this: I have actually done this a lot when I was new at tarot and was going through so much heartbreak. It's just that I had a horrible life-experience/life-lesson from doing that: The cards may tell what the other person is experiencing, but the person can change his/her thoughts, feelings, opinions and therefore his/her actions, same as you. With this in mind, the tarot read on the person you spy on becomes nothing more than a trivial "he-loves-me-he-loves-me-not," done with foretunetelling cards... Tarot cards can impart so much practical advice on different ways to cope, adapt or when to move on, or illuminate areas of life where there is joy or progress is needed or can be found that I find it a waste of time to use tarot cards to spy on others. I had to learn that the hard way, from a heartbreak that made me change my tarot practice.

When I look at my tarot group social media feed, I find so many many many people doing the same thing I had done decades ago with tarot cards... Life teaches us different lessons and takes us to different paths... I know I sound judgemental about a practice that a lot of people seem to find some joy in... But I want to vent somewhere after seeing so many..

Anyway, I just gaze over and just ignore most of those types of posts, usually, when I see them in my social media feed. Today I just wanted to rant somewhere...

I probably would be "spying" on someone else if I did a relationship spread, but that's a different thing: there's a connection/relationship that one needs to become aware about. I dunno if my opinion on these things evolves to something else if ever I experience love/heartbreak again.

#journal #diary #tarot #personal thoughts

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ilalos · 3 years

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Worth it (Anthony Bridgerton x reader) Part 2/2

Summary: Your arranged marriage to Anthony seems fine, until it doesn’t.

Warnings: marriage, implied sex, angst-ish, fluff, pregnancy, crying, if you notice anything else let me know :)

Word count: 2.5k

The season passed in a blur with countless flowers and conversations that filled you with expectations about your marriage to the Viscount, you truly felt like love was around the corner for both of you and it was a matter of time for that corner to be turned. He was everything you had expected and more, you could tell he was wary about letting you in but didn’t want to push him so you let him open himself to you at his own pace. The had been some stolen looks, kisses on your knuckles that had lasted a little longer than they should and hand a bit lower than what was acceptable when you danced. To say the courting had been successful was the understatement of the season in your opinion, by the time the wedding day came you were counting down the minutes before you finally became Lady (y/n) Bridgeton.

Your wedding ceremony was short and the carriage ride to Anthony’s bachelor townhouse was even shorter. The wedding night had come with a surprisingly low amount of events, your virginity had been taken the sweetest of ways, with many kisses and whispered promises of pleasure that came true. By the end of the day, you were as happy as can be, laying on your husband's chest, feeling his heartbeat slowing down and smelling the sweet vanilla scent of his skin.

When you woke up the next morning the bed was empty and he had already left to work in his study back in the main Bridgerton home. He didn’t return until late in the evening and you were waiting for him so you could have dinner together.

“Thank you for waiting for me,” he said while taking a sip of his wine.

“It’s nothing, I like that we are finally spending some time together”

Anthony just nodded and continued eating in silence.

“How was your day?” You pushed for conversation, you had been alone all day and could really use some conversation with someone different than your maid, who was terrified of speaking freely.

“It was busy” he answered simply “how was your day?” He asked after seeing the face you made at his short answer.

“It was also very busy, I reorganized the books in the library, had the kitchen staff do an inventory on the pantry, and send the maids to the market to get some flowers for the table tops” you narrated proudly, hoping he might appreciate the way you ran the home.

“Good to see you’re settling in, darling” his small praise made you smile a little.

“You don’t mind that I changed some things?” You asked somewhat concerned by his silence.

“It is your home, you’re free to do whatever you please with it,” he said dismissively.

“It’s our home, Anthony, I want to make it perfect for you too”

After dinner, he walked you to the bedroom and after a couple of heated kisses you fell in his arms once again, the pleasure he gave you was addictive. Despite his cold attitude towards you in other aspects of your life, it was in the bedroom where you felt hopeful for a future where you both might learn to truly love each other, and then he would sneak out every morning making you feel like a worthless whore.

And so your days continued like this, every night was filled with passion and every day was lonely. You couldn’t even go to the Bridgerton home, you had been taught that a married lady was not to go out without her husband, so your heart slowly filled with sadness as you spent day after day alone in the townhouse. Anthony was none the wiser because he simply thought you enjoyed being by yourself, so it never occurred to him to invite you to his family’s home or anywhere else.

A month into your marriage you found out you were with child. You were extremely happy and Anthony had shown himself to be happy as well, but then that night he didn’t come home for dinner and didn’t make an appearance in your bedroom. He was more and more distant until four months had passed and he disappeared for two full weeks before you saw him again.

It was on the day of your birthday, and he had only gone to your room because the butler told him you had been very sick that day. When he entered the room he found you seating on the bed hugging your knees close to your chest, your eyes puffy from crying and silent tears still streaming down your face. You weren’t upset he had forgotten your birthday, you had never celebrated it so it didn’t matter he didn’t remember it.

“What happened? Is everything well? Is the baby-“

“Your child is quite well, Lord Bridgerton” you interrupted in the coldest tone he had ever heard from you “to what do I owe this joyous visit?”

“I apologize for my absence, I have been very busy” he answered measly.

“I figured out that much, husband” the word was said with venom.

“Are you upset with me?” He asked offended, you had never treated him so coldly.

“I am upset with myself” you started with a pained chuckle “I don’t need you to try and comfort me because you did nothing wrong, that is the reason for my anger” a small sob escaped your lips “I was taught to be a good wife, that my only job was to give my husband heirs and to keep the house running and I understood that and I didn’t fight it because at least I would have children to fill my life with love and a husband who at the very least would acknowledge me and my efforts”

“I-“

“I don’t want you to feel like you should change or apologize, this is not your fault, I feel miserable because I filled my heart with hopes and dreams of love but that’s just not how life is, at least not mine” you harshly wiped your eyes before finishing “I understand my place now, I’m nothing but a child-bearer for you and that’s fine because you didn’t even pick me in the first place” you got up from bed and opened the door for him “please leave me alone, I will be fine”

“I can’t just leave you here alone, have you even eaten today? In your condition-“

“Your child is perfectly well, my lord” your tone had turned icy once again “please go, I am tired and want to rest”

Unable to do anything else, Anthony left the room and went back to his family’s home. His mother had insisted for him to take you there that night, but seeing your state he didn’t even bother asking if you wanted to go. When he got there he was surprised to see the dining room fully decorated, his whole family dressed in their best clothes, even Daphne and Simon had paid a visit.

“Where is (y/n)?” Asked Violet.

“She’s not feeling very well” answered Anthony looking at the table that was filled with all his wife’s favorite food “What is happening? Why are you all here dressed as if you are attending a ball?”

“Anthony, please for the love of God almighty, tell me you didn’t forget your wife’s birthday!” Violet couldn’t keep his composure, how could Anthony be so clueless.

“I-I’ve been so busy lately supervising the building of the new house, it didn’t even occur to me that it was her birthday” Anthony felt terrible, as he should.

“It’s bad enough she doesn’t like us, son” Violet sighed, seating on the table “And now she thinks we don’t care for her birthday”

“Where did you get that idea, mother?” Daphne couldn’t help but ask “When she writes to us she says wonderful things about our family”

“Then why hasn’t she visited since the wedding?” This time it was Colin asking “Mother sent a tea invitation shortly after they got married and she never showed up, sent a poor letter apologizing but did not explain why she didn’t show”

“I might have an explanation for that” Simon spoke up “My aunt was a terribly strict mother, taught her that a wife was nothing more than a child-bearer and had no liberties like men do, for example: going out unaccompanied”

“Has she been out of the house since you married, brother?” asked Eloise, turning to face Anthony who was still frozen at the doorstep.

“I don’t believe so” he entered the room and sat defeated “I just thought she enjoyed being at home by herself, god!” he rubbed his hands down his face.

“I can’t believe it, the poor thing” lamented Violet.

“She hasn’t left the house in almost half a year” concluded Benedict.

“And here we were, refusing to visit thinking she had rejected mother,” said Colin.

“I would like to clarify, I never agreed with losing contact with her over one missed invitation” added Eloise, gaining the glares of everyone present.

“It matters not what we thought nor does it matter what has happened in the past” began Violet “right now I want you to go pick her up and bring her here, she deserves to be celebrated, especially after everything we put her through,” she told her eldest child, pushing him to stand and go to the door.

Anthony mounted the carriage and urged the coachman to hurry home and as soon as he got there he ran up the stairs to your room and burst through the door, jolting you awake.

“I am so sorry, love,” ha said kneeling on your bedside “I never knew you didn’t leave the house because you thought you couldn’t, you are free to do as you please, darling” he grabbed your hand and kissed your knuckles “I didn’t mean to make you feel trapped in your own home, and I am sorry if you felt like I abandoned you” he caressed your face and wiped some tears that had fallen without your notice.

“You did abandon us,” you said, trying to pull your hand from his grasp with your other hand protecting your belly.

“I was merely supervising the building of our new home, I was hoping I could surprise you before the baby arrived” he explained, now seating by your side “I can’t possibly ask my family to leave their home but I know how much you love that house, and so I chose to build a similar one not too far from here”

“You are building me a house?” You asked incredulously, hardly anything could justify his absence but this was in fact a reasonable explanation.

“Yes, love” he once again caressed your face “A home for our family” at that your eyes filled with tears, this time from happiness.

You sat up and wrapped your arms around his neck, crying with your face buried in his shirt. He wrapped his arms around you, kissing the top of your head and shushing you softly to calm down your cries. You spent a while holding each other until he suddenly broke you two apart, remembering his family that was still waiting for you both to show up.

“My beautiful wife, I must take you out of the comforts of your bed” he began, apologetic “My family is expecting you in their home to celebrate your birthday with a lavish dinner”

“Heavens! You should’ve started with that” you ran to your door and called out for your maid “I don’t think I have a dress for such occasion, non that would fit me now, that’s certain”

You opened your trunk and began taking out your chemise and all other items you had to wear under your dress in such cold weather. You took off your nightgown not caring Anthony was there, he had seen it all before, after you had put on your chemise your maid ran in and help you put on the rest of your garments and helped you squeeze your small baby bump in the dress you had worn for one of the first balls you attended when Anthony was courting you. She put your hair in a quick updo and even managed to coerce Anthony into putting on your stockings and your shoes while she did your hair. With all that rush and hard work, you managed to be ready in under an hour and still made it to the dinner at a reasonable hour (half past 9 is reasonable, right?).

At the Bridgerton home, you were welcomed with warm embraces and merry wishes on your special day. You all sat around the table and ate the feast that had sadly grown cold. Colin didn’t seem to mind as he devoured everything in sight, prompting Violet to chastise him softly. You, however, ate small bites because the pregnancy had caused your stomach to be upset easily and you didn’t wish to offend anyone by running out of the room to empty your stomach. Anthony watched you eat and held your hand atop the table, smiling as he watched you laugh and converse with his family.

“Is the food not good enough?” Asked Violet seeing your plate almost full.

“It is just perfect, my stomach has just been iffy since the start of the pregnancy” you answered smiling apologetically, Anthony choked on his wine because he realized at that very moment that he had forgotten to tell his family about your condition.

“You’re with child? Those are wonderful news!” Exclaimed Violet with a large smile “When did you found out?”

“Four months ago” you turned to glare at Anthony “I assumed your son had told you”

“How could you conceal such joyous information from your mother?” Violet then noticed her eldest daughter had become quiet, as well as her husband “Did you know, Daphne?”

“I was aware of it, yes” Daphne admitted ashamed “I too assumed Anthony had told you”

“You assumed my eldest son had told me about his wife’s pregnancy and I had decided not to mention any of it in our letters?”

“I-I’m, yes?” Benedict and Colin snorted with laughter hearing their sister’s answer.

Violet only shook her head with a small smile, her children were truly a wonder. Anthony was nervous that you’d get mad at him for not telling them, but one look at your laughing face told him he didn’t need to worry.

Later that evening you both laid in bed after yet another passion-filled encounter, your breathing slow and even making Anthony think you were asleep. He was caressing your naked back with feather-like touches, kissing your sweaty forehead every few minutes.

“I love you” you sighed, kissing his chest “You need not feel the same, I just want you to know how I feel”

He took a shaky breath before answering.

“I also am in love with you, darling” he placed a finger under your chin and tilted your head so you’d look at him “sometimes I’m scared of just how much I love you” he kissed you slow and deep, pouring all his love into the action.

The kiss was unlike any other you had shared before, this one was full of promise and hope. It filled you with love and certainty, you were now sure that no matter how difficult the road to Anthony’s heart had been, even if you didn’t want it at first, it had all been worth it.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Hi! Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it. If you like it let me know.

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@awesomebooklover17

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tendousthoughts · 3 years

Text

HQ Boys Thinking Their S/O Left Them Pt. 4

Character(s) included: Kenma & Suna

Requested by: My sibling who doesn't read my work lmao.

Warning(s): Cursing, Mention of alcohol [Kenma]

Song of the day: Tired by Beabadoobee

A/N: First off please check out my announcements post. It has a lot of important Information in it and I would really enjoy it if you checked it out! Next this is requested by my wonderful sibling. Hopefully you all enjoy- also how's my new stuff..? Tell me if its ugly lmao.. I recommend having the palette/theme set to Goth Rave for the best look- I might make a few things a darker purple though! This might be the last part to this series unless anyone wants a few more!

Where to find all the parts!

Where to find all my content!

Tag(s): @chibiiichann & @corporeal-terrestrial

Kenma

Things were rough after Kenma landed his dream gig. Being a full time gamer had always been and always would be his dream. But now it was reality. He finally made it in the big league. He was finally there. It was perfect.. but soon enough flaws started to appear outside of his career. Which soon turned into flaws in the relationship. Kenma was known to be smart, calculated, and quiet. Even though all those seemed nice at times it was hard. Like any relationship things didn’t always work out. One of those being the communication. To be frank, there was no communication. At all.

You liked to drink and party. Hang out with friends and just live life to the fullest.. but even if you did like that, you loved just to cuddle. Which luckily you and Kenma shared. As time grew and his career finally branched into what he hoped it would, your time of physical affection shortened. Which sucked.. you loved physical affection. It was your love language. You couldn’t help it, whenever you saw him you just wanted to lay and be with him. But now that you couldn’t, you slowly branched out to others for what you couldn’t have. When that worked.. you just stuck with it. Getting drunk with friends and cuddling until one of your more sober friends called up Kenma and told him to pick you up. Kenma hated it. He really hated it. He hated to see you holding on to someone else, it didn’t matter what they looked like, what they identified as, or who they were. All that mattered was they weren’t him so they had no right to be that close.

Kenma likes to play games and stay home. He liked to be somewhere quiet and such. So every week when he had to go to pick you up, he sorta wondered if he didn’t pick you up what would happen..? Of course he wouldn’t do so though.. you had so many people eyeing you.. you were popular with everyone and extremely kind. So if he did leave you.. it would be as easy as it was for you to get a new cuddle partner as to get a new place to sleep. He trusted you.. well he kind of did. He wasn't good at expressing how he felt especially when it came to you or something you liked.

You got black out drunk the night before and when you walked into the kitchen you felt the heavy atmosphere. “Good morning baby..” you muttered rubbing your eyes. Your lips felt dry and your throat was raspy. Maybe you were screaming or something.. whatever it was fun.

“I don’t want you calling me that at the moment.” He stated. Which caught you off guard. Looking up your eyes were met with his. Clear confusion all over your face. “What? Did you really get that drunk to not remember being all over your friend last night..? Calling them baby and shit. If that’s a name you just throw around please just refer to me as my name..” He muttered.

“Oh you know I didn’t mean too baby.. I love you and you know that.. you're the only one who makes me happy… but right now I'm having a headache so do you mind passing me the coffee..?” you muttered brushing everything to the side which only made him more frustrated with you. you did this every time. You pushed everything that wasn’t in your interest to the side.

“Look at you doing it again. You always do this,” he looked at you annoyed and frustrated. “Pushing everything to the side. Do you not understand how annoying it is to get a call at three in the morning that you're drunk. Not only that but that you're all over someone else. Do you not understand or do you just not care because seriously it's getting hard to think that you are just that, your heads just that blank.”

You were caught off guard. Of course you were, he never responded roughly like that. He never acted so upset with you. To be honest you never really thought about how he had to pick you up and stuff. You never thought about what happened the night before to be frank. You were a party drunk. You liked to sing and dance and cuddle and such. All the things Kenma couldn’t or wouldn’t do with you, you did with anyone else when you were drunk. It wasn’t that you wanted to blame being drunk on acting that way, so you just waited till you did get drunk. It was more, when you were sober you tried to get Kenma to do those things with you. Which most of the time ended badly because you would just be shut down again. “You know I don’t mean to do those things.”

“You don’t mean too?” He looked upset, really upset. You saw him upset often, frustrated with how the game was turning out and such, but this was different. He looked more hurt than anything. “You do it every week. Every single week you go out and drink you go out and party and sing and dance and have the fucking time of your life okay? Then when your all tired and cuddled up with a friend. I get a call to pick you up. When I get there you're either on their lap with your arms around them, on their side and holding them tight, or in between their legs as they cuddle you from the back. Not only that but when I try and help you up you more then half the time push me away, and then say you wanna go home with your ‘baby’! I’m getting sick and tired of it. You wake up the next morning and act as if the whole night you were just thinking of me and how you just wanna cuddle and all this shit. I am so fucking sick of you this. I’m so sick of you drinking. I am so fucking sick of you.” He was shouting. He was pissed and of course he was. But this time he just blew up. He didn’t even wait for a response to anything. “I’m going to go stream don’t fucking bug me.” He walked away walking into his streaming room. Once they slam the door leaving you in utter shock.

It took you a moment to take in everything. You messed up. It was your fault. He was hurt. Your lover was in pain because of your stupid actions. You grabbed your stuff, shoving it into your pocket and walked out. It was hard to think of anything but Kenma right now. Slowly you walked to the park. The leaves fell from the trees, when you looked around you saw couples wearing matching scarves and such. The smell of chai and pumpkin in every corner. Meeting your gaze you saw Kenma’s favorite bakery. Slowly you walked over opening the door and you immediately noticed this pie section. You made your way over biting your lip and you looked up at the sudden voice.

“Y/n.. is that you?” As you eye’s met the other you immediately recognized Bokuto.

“Oh hey.. nice to see you again.” You smiled weakly. Unfortunately your eyes were wet and glossy as soon as you walked into the bakery, and you didn’t know if you could handle pushing down the tears anymore.

“Where’s Kenma..? Are you okay..?” He asked softly, gently rubbing your back as he seemed to be alone at the moment. You didn’t wanna cause any more issues but you couldn’t help it, immediately you started to cry.

“I messed up, I really messed up..” you mutter as he gently leads you to a seat.

“Hey everything will be okay.. just tell me what’s wrong. I know you can work through it okay..? We can do it!” he smiled. He had always been a big brother to you. He knew just what to say to calm you down.

“I got drunk again and this time I just was a mess I guess.. and Kenma seems to be getting tired of me and me doing this. Doing all this dumb shit and messing around. But I just.. I don’t know. I wanna cuddle and hug and go on dates. But Kenma just got his dream job and I don’t wanna fuck it up. I know its so fucking selfish. I shouldn’t do this to him. I know I shouldn’t. I deserve to get yelled at and stuff I mean seriously.. he has to pick me up at three every fucking week because I’m to stupid to tell him how I feel and how I just want to be held and stuff. I just wonder sometimes.. Maybe I am not as perfect as I thought I was for Kenma. He needs someone who can be there for him all the time and I know I just know that I will keep fucking up..” You were shaking. “I mean seriously.. I am not even able to tell him I love him much less tell him about how his job is bugging me. It’s the one thing he wanted to do. The one fucking thing he really wanted to do. I just wasn’t able to support him.. I couldn’t.. I just keep hurting him..” tears were rolling down your face.

“Y/n.. hey it's okay, but he will never know anything if you keep holding it to yourself. Kenma has always been like that. He gets bugged by things but won’t say anything until he is at his limit. He never understood the importance of communication.. and he never ever takes the first steps okay? I understand that you're frustrated but you knew when you got into a relationship with him what type of person he is. You knew he was hard to understand. You told me you did. But I don’t think that you would give up this easily. You and him are the same, there will never be an understanding between you too if you guys don’t talk it out. Okay..? I suggest you get some pie and walk back to talk it out with him. I mean to be honest his stream today seems to be a mess. So it must really be bugging him and it would be better to figure it out sooner don’t you think..?” He smiled softly as you nodded. “Good. I have to go but look if you ever need to talk just message me okay? I’ve got your back!” He smiled, getting up and walking out.

You got up and bought two slices of apple pie and started to walk back. It was going to be tough to do this but you needed to. You knew you needed too.

Kenma couldn’t stay concentrated so the stream only lasted ten minutes before he turned it off and went back out to the living room. Which is when he found out you had left. Sadly his first thought was that you had gone drinking so he called up one of your friends to ask. When he found out you hadn’t he was even more worried. He looked around for a moment before he sat on the couch and held a pillow waiting. Hoping you would come back home. He wanted to fix this. He went too far. He knew he did. He knew he did of course he did. He knew he blew up, he always did and he tried not to but it was so fucking hard.

When you came into the room you immediately saw him lying on the couch cuddled up and crying. “What have I done..” You whispered softly as you made it next to you gently placed the pie down and looked at him. “I am sorry..” he looked up to you a bit and immediately his face changed.

“Oh thank god you're okay..” he whispered softly, “I didn’t me-”

You cut him off, “I messed up. I knew I did and I just want you to listen okay? I love you and I know I rarely say it. For a matter of a fact I can count the amount of times I’ve said it with one hand. I know I need to say it more okay? I know I shouldn’t drink but it is just really hard sometimes.. I just wanna go on dates and hold you and shit and I know it sounds so fucking stupid but sometimes I just get worried that if I do you will get sick of me faster okay..? So I just thought it would be easier to do it with my friends and stuff and get drunk and try to not bug you. You just got your dream job and I just don’t wanna fuck anything up more but I clearly have. I know I’m stupid and inconsiderate and I will think about it more.. just please don’t leave. Please. I will be better I swear.” You tried not to cry but you couldn’t help yourself.

Slowly he pulled you to him and held you tight. “I wasn’t planning to leave you anytime soon.. It is my fault I always don’t pay attention and It ends up hurting you and I know I should try and think about your feelings more. But I get scared to ask about it because I think if I do then you will think something is wrong but clearly that doesn’t work. So I will try to open up more okay.. I love you so much babe.. I love you.” He whispered softly, kissing your forehead.

“I love so so much too.. I love you..” You whispered. It would take time but soon everything would be perfect.. everything would be okay again.

Suna

It was hard to believe that Suna was still playing volleyball. It wasn’t a problem to you at all, to be frank you were glad that he decided to do something he loved. You were glad he wasn’t stuck at a desk all day. It just sucked when he came home all tired and unable to hang out. But maybe it would be the same either way. It just bugged you when he didn’t come home till like twelve and blamed it on practice. You didn’t wanna think that he was lying to you but you never really knew much about volleyball. It could be easily right but it just ticked you off that he came home so late. Claiming that he already had dinner and stuff. But there wasn’t anything you could really do about it. This was his passion. He loved to play volleyball and all you could do was give him your undying love and support.You worked hard, enjoying your job. Though it also got frustrating when your schedules conflicted so you couldn’t hang out but that was just life. There wasn’t anything you could do about it, and that was okay.

Suna got home late again. It was the middle of the night when you heard the shower start. He didn’t even say hello. He knew you were up. He had to know. You always were up when he came in. Mainly because you wanted to make sure he was okay when he got back. You wanted to make sure he got back. You were worried easily but it was going to be okay. Of course it was. You just had to tell yourself everyday and it would be true.. right?

When Suna walked into the room he slowly slipped next to you. “Sorry about the wait angel.. I promise soon I will have time off okay and we can hang out.” He muttered softly as his warm, soft arms wrapped around you. The smell of cherry blossoms radiated off of him. He used your hair wash sometimes, he claimed it made him feel like you were with him all the time and that made him happy. His wet hair touched your back as he held you close.

It was hard to be mad at him when he got like this. He was so soft when he was tired. He always made the same promise. At the beginning you believed him, you waited for it to happen but at this point you just tried to forget that he even said it because it just hurt you more. Of course it did. You were holding on to this stupid hope that he will get more time to hang out. That hope that soon everything would be okay. “It’s okay baby.. get some rest okay..?” You muttered softly. You turned your head slightly, kissing his head as you faced the front again. Closing your eyes you hoped everything would be okay once more.

The morning came quickly. The sun shone through the blinds, then the feeling of coldness hit as you turned over to the empty bed. Heh. What were you thinking? Did you really think that he was going to wait for you..? God sooner or later you really had to realize this relationship was more one sided then anything. That this thing was going to be a forever relationship. But god fuck, this was just as real as a fake relationship. It was only one when it was a relationship when it was convenient. It sucked but none of his teammates even knew about you and him being in a relationship. It sucked to feel like you were being forced to be hidden. It almost felt like he was embarrassed of you. It had gone on long enough. You were so fucking done. This was too hard to hold on.

After packing a bit you got up and grabbed your stuff. Getting up you headed out taking your car to one of your only friend’s houses. It was hard to have a conversation with him let alone try and explain how you felt. So you decided to take a night off from seeing him, and try and clear your head. You didn’t wanna break up, fuck that was the last thing you wanted to do. You decided not to leave a note.. secretly kind of hoping it would make him a bit worried or something. So you knew he actually noticed.. or actually liked you. Suna always had a ‘I don’t give a fuck’ additude and that was one of the big reasons you were drawn to him. He was always so free, he didn’t care what people had to say about him.. Something you wished you could have but it really didn’t matter because he had you back, back then.

After a few hours of hanging out your friend took your phone away from you, being that you had been waiting for a call from Suna. They powered it off and placed it on a shelf gently slipping next to you. They smiled. You and them were alway close. They had been with you for every break up and to be honest you even tried dating, though it didn’t work out it was a great experience and you would still have done it to this day. When night struck instead of waiting for Suna you actually were kind of relieved the fear of him not coming home kind of slipped off your shoulders as you laid down next to your friend. Closing your eyes you hoped for everything to get better. You wished that he would be able to get some free time and such.

On the other hand when Suna came home he did what he always did, take a shower and head to bed. But this time you weren’t there, you weren't waiting for him. He looked around almost instantly running to check if your shoes were there, which they weren’t. Now a bit shaken up he took a deep breath and walked over to check if anything else was missing. Once he did it kind of hit him harder than expected. Running to grab his phone he began to call you. It was too late out and it was pitch black, fear had settled in as he realized what could have happened. All the things that could have happened, might have happened. He immediately put on his shoes, his hair still wet. God even knows he can hear you to dry his hair before he leaves, in hope he won't get sick. He unlocked his car calling you for the third time, unsurprisingly he heard the same voice mail.

“Hey this is y/n! It seems you are trying to reach me. At the moment I might be busy or have missed your call! Please try and call again or leave a message. I promise to get back to you as soon as I can!”

It had been a wet month as the rain hit the floor but Suna didn’t seem to mind. So maybe he was being over dramatic but you never have been away from him during the night from the day you guys started dating. So for you not even to mention that you weren’t going to be home was fucking with him. He did the next best thing, calling your best friend. Lucky for him they picked up. “Hey is y/n there.. they're not picking up and I really wanna make sure they're okay..” he muttered his breath was loud. Almost as if he was having trouble breathing and such.

“Ya, do you wanna pick them up they seem to be having trouble sleeping.. and it seems like you guys need to work through a few things so maybe it would be best if you did..'' They were surprised that he called. It wasn’t that he didn’t love you or anything, it was just that it didn’t always seem like he was that interested in you, as if being convenient to them and such. So for him to call up your friend was quite unexpected.

When Suna arrived he got out and knocked on the door after being met with your friend, “I’m only telling you this once so listen to me. Y/n loves you okay? If you're not interested just let them be okay? There are a bunch of people who would kill to be with them. If you do not have the time for them please just let them be, so they can find someone who can take care of them when they need someone too. Y/n is quiet about their feelings but that doesn’t mean you can only be with them when it is convenient to you, let alone only at night. If you don’t want to step up please just step down and let someone else fill your role for you. They are hurting to much because of your actions and you don’t seem to ever fucking care. Please just let them go if you're done.. This game has been over a long time ago. You won okay. You always will be against y/n..” they moved to the side letting the startled Suna in. “They're over there, if you don’t wanna carry them it is okay just call me over because I don’t want them to be woken up.” Suna shook his head gently. How fucking dare they assume that this was all a game to him. How dare they assume that he didn’t actually love you..? Why did they assume those things..?

Suna picked you up gently, gently you clung to him and his warmth. It was cold in the room and Suna seemed to be the only solution to it. It surprised Suna quite a lot, finding out that you were clinging to him. Being that at night he always hugged you, but you just wanted to give him space so he wouldn’t be bored of you. “Hey angel sorry for making you wait all these nights.. I promise I will be there okay.. please don’t move on I really do love you.. your my everything and I know it is stupid of me to talk to you while your asleep but sometimes I get to nervous to talk to you and I just want everything to be okay with you. Your friend is right though.. There is no excuse for what I am doing to you. I am so sorry.. angel trust me I really love you. I would be so fucking lost without you.” he muttered holding on to you tightly as he grabbed your stuff and carried you out. It was still raining as he tried his best to shelter you from the rain running to the car as he placed you in the front. It took him a moment to get you comfortable or at least that what he hoped was comfortable. He had placed a blanket on you and buckled you up as he moved to the front and started driving. It was a good thirty minute drive, and he knew soon you guys had to go back to go get your car but at this moment all he was worried about was you. “God angel.. I can’t compete with everyone else after you.. why did you choose me.. why are you still with me..?” he muttered. He gently held your hand as he looked out. You were always so cold. Suna on the other hand was like a walking heat source. Maybe because he was so big that he could hold you tight and stuff and it just made it feel warmer or something but it worked better than you could imagine.

It took a bit of time but soon you had arrived, sadly the rain hadn’t eased up. Suna got out first picking you up as he wrapped the blanket around you so you wouldn’t get cold or wet. You shifted around in his arms. “mm..” you muttered your eyes fluttering open with the feeling of his arms again and the feeling of movement. You held on tightly to Suna, “Baby..?” you grumbled softly confused where you were and what you were doing. Why was he here? More importantly, how did he find you.. did he really care? God it felt great to think that he did.

“Ah I’m sorry for waking you angel.. close your eyes I’ve got you now.. that house was too cold. I’ve got you now. We are home so you can be nice and warm again okay..? Don’t worry I’ve got you now so everything will be okay. I am going to take a break from practice for the week okay..? I am going to ease up on the practice so you won’t have to worry. I love you so much. I know I haven’t been a good boyfriend and I know I need to step it up. Will I be okay? Don’t worry I am going to be better for you okay. I am sorry about everything I’ve done to hurt you and I am going to do my best to make you feel better.. and if it doesn’t help I will let go okay. I’m going to finally let you breathe but please just give me just one more chance. I know I love you, and I know I don’t show it but I promise I do. If I didn’t please tell me what was that pain in my chest when I didn’t see you, I know I sound stupid I know I do but I know I really do love you. Hearing what your friend said and I know they're right but it just hit me. I am not ashamed of you.. you know that right..? I just don't want my team to know because last time when word got out I was dating someone the pressure was to muc. on them and the new articles and stuff and I just don’t wanna pressure you. I don’t want us to end because of that. I want everything to be perfect. I know I come home late, I just.. I don’t know. I know it is too much on you and I don't want that I just don’t everything to be over because of an argument that could have been avoided if I just you know.. not came home or something. I know it is no excuse but I am telling the truth please believe me. I can’t live without you.. I love you so much please baby.. fuck. I keep rambling. I am sorry angel. get some rest we will talk about this in the morning..” he muttered softly walking inside and gently placing you in bed as he walked and changed coming back as soon as he could.

You were wide awake.. but you just wanted to wait so you knew he would still be there when you woke up. So you knew he wouldn’t be gone before anything. So you knew he wasn’t lying anymore. “Night baby..” you muttered as his arms wrapped around you.

“Good night angel.. I love you so much..” He muttered, closing his eyes.

When the morning came you were surprised when you felt his body tight around you. “Morning my angel..” he muttered. “Did you get some good rest..?”

“Good morning.. mhm.. thank you for staying.. you don’t understand how worried I was that you were going to leave before I could say anything.. But thank you. I love you so much okay.. and I don’t what my friend said but please ignore him.. I only love you.. I will only ever love you. Please try and stay home more. It is getting hard to handle and I know it is selfish but I just want you to stay longer sometimes. I know you want the best for me but please.. it makes me feel like you actually don’t love me and I know it is wrong but I get scared and I don’t want to be.. please believe me when I say that I can handle it.. I just wanna be with you more. I just want to be what you want. I love you so much..” You were trying not to cry but you were.

“Angel… I love you so much. I will tell the whole world.. I want to. Will I be okay? I will stay with you till you wake up and eat Breakfast with you. I will come home sooner so you're not scared anymore.. I’ve got you and everything I’ve ever wanted so please don’t cry.. I love you so fucking much angel..” he whispered kissing you. This felt good.. refreshing, you felt okay for the first time in a while. You felt happy. You were going to be alright now, he was going to keep you safe and you would do the same thing. You loved each other and that's all that would ever matter because you two were made for each other.

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apompkwrites · 3 years

Text

reader impact || first meetings: unreconciled stars

series masterlist characters: scaramouche, fischl, mona genre: fluff summary: a game has been released entitled genshin impact, consisting of otherworldly abilities relying on the basic elements of nature. the game follows the story of an interdimensional traveling twin in search of their other half. along this journey, they meet different characters that live in this world. including you. notes: i'm sorry fischl and mona's aren't that good :(( this is actually my first time writing for them but i hope you enjoy <33

scaramouche's playthrough -

oof scara

scara scara scara

this boy hates his chat and at this point they don't care.

it's not like he'll badmouth them, right?

think ludwig.

that's him.

he's a very angy boy please--

as for what he does?

much like childe he'd do a lot of pvp games.

he's not too keen on showing off his personal life.

he prefers that boundary between his viewers and himself, y'know?

he honestly doesn't even understand why his viewers like him.

he knows he's a mean person and yet here they are :/

he doesn't take requests from his viewers he just kinda plays whatever he wants.

imagine his viewers' surprise when they see him streaming genshin--

they asked why a lot.

"it seemed cool."

this man just wants to play some good ol' anime games.

his chat calls him soft and he just glares.

anyway now he's actually playing.

he's not really into mondstadt's characters they're all... okay to him.

he feels a bit better in liyue.

not because it's pretty oh no no no.

because look at all the enemies outside >:))

he'll clear the whole field don't test him.

anyway, now onto the unreconciled stars event :00

this man really doesn't like katheryne--

anyway at this point he's tasked with find fritz, which he doesn't really want to do.

he sees the dude on the ground but that's only after he sees someone standing next to him.

and then he sees someone standing next to him :0

"is the guy on the floor sleeping?"

"i believe so. i've tried everything, but he won't wake up."

he will pause to look at your outfit.

it's so complex but it's so cool!!!

his chat suspects something's up but... he'll just snap at them like he normally does.

but he'll silently admire you <3

also yOU'RE T I N Y ! !

and then paimon points out your clothes and the cameras pans up your body--

"heh... and by "this person over here," you mean me, right?"

he will choose the "those unique clothes are quite beautiful" option in a heartbeat.

he doesn't care that his chat is teasing him, he just wants you to know :))

he's kinda sad when you leave, though...

"please come back soon..."

his CHAT HAS NEVER SEEN HIM SO SOFT BEFORE

skip to a few events later when the constellation is revealed to be leonard's.

the sudden cutscene catches him off guard because he's prepared to fight someone.

"hi! sounds interesting... mind if i join you?"

he won't say anything but he will physically relax at the sight of you.

you make this man soft please--

he's lowkey angry when his character is teleported away from you :(

(name): the sixth of the eleven fatui harbingers

HYPEHYPEHYPE

YOU'RE SO COOL!

of course he doesn't say that but his chat can tell that's what he's thinking.

this man's eyes go wide when you order the fatui around.

please help he really likes you. you're so assertive and cute and cool and just AGH--

fischl's playthrough -

fischl can and will do cosplay streams.

her fans like to watch her because of the "character" she puts up for the camera.

honestly she just does this because she genuinely enjoys cosplaying and bringing characters to life.

oz is the nickname for her pet bird :))

she definitely gets a lot of trolls in her chat that make fun of her for her cosplays and "dumb" way of speaking.

in which case she'll just yell at them using her "dumb" way of speaking.

she really does care about how people see her but her chat comforts her a lot after, so she feels better after a few minutes :))

the games she plays are very fantasy based and take place in worlds that don't exist.

once she gets into a game, she'd pick her favorite character and cosplay as them everytime she streams that game.

sometimes she does sewing streams where she actually makes her own cosplay with her fans.

they like to make it with her if they have the materials :D

genshin impact was a game her fans recommended because they actually want to see fischl cosplay the characters.

they will beg her to do the cosplay creation on stream.

(they defintitely know who she'll choose to cosplay but it's fine)

when she reaches the unreconciled stars event, she's really excited to learn about the fated meteorite granting sleep upon touch.

she's ready to go around teyvat in search of an answer when...

"katheryne! vassal of the immernachtreich, do mine ears deceive me, or didst thou cry out mine holy name in earnest supplication not one moment ago?"

some of her chat is obviously confused by your speech but her long time viewers can understand some of it.

oz, who fischl had brought with her to play, seems excited to see your familiar flying to you :)

fischl is just as excited as he is!!

please you speak just like her and you're voice is so nice and it actually sounds like the developers put thought into what the speech would mean in "proper speech."

"a pleasure to meet you again, katheryne."

YOU'RE FAMILIAR IS JUST AS COOL AS YOU ARE!!

some of her viewers will beg for her to skip through your dialogue.

when she sees those comments, she will purposefully let your dialogue play out, proceed to read out that same dialogue, and respond to you as if she was actually talking to you.

not just to spite them but because it's also a lot of fun for her <3

"it would seem the gods have blessed us with meeting such a well-respected being!"

translation: she's really excited to have met you.

as soon as you spoke she decided she would cosplay as you.

she's already planning out all of the materials she'll need and how much time it would take.

if your familiar is a bird, you best bet oz will be in her photo shoots for your cosplay.

most of the time you're on screen, she'll talk to her viewers about you in her classic chuunibyou style <333

she's really sad when it's time for you to leave :(((

"... goodbye, fischl. you are a good listener. i enjoy chatting with you. to be honest, most of the other adventurers in the guild only ever talk to me when they wanna hear (familiar)'s reconnaissance reports... this little journey we had... it was a great adventure. i'm just sorry that is has to end so abruptly..."

she might cry wait--

she relates to you even more now :(

"ah! what am i doing? i totally broke form..."

you're too cute pleas--

mona's playthrough -

mona does a lot of nightly streams.

it's very rare for you to catch her streaming with daylight.

she likes to share things about astrology while sitting outside drinking something warm.

she'll do a lot of nightly gaming streams as well.

mainly calmer games that people can vibe to in the background.

she prefers to keep her streams lowkey and chill, much like the life she wants to lead.

if only she had the money to do so...

yes, mona is still struggling with money even as a streamer.

she greatly appreciates any donations her fans give to her because she practically relies on them to pay her rent and daily necessities.

of course, it's not like she's completely struggling, just enough to barely get her by.

anyway, her fans ask her about playing genshin impact, inticing her with their talk about the stars and night sky in the game.

she's the type of player to take her time in the environment and take a lot of pictures of her character at night.

she's actually really excited when she hears about this new event centering around the stars and sky :D

soon enough, she gets around to the part where she is need of an astrologist.

she's HYPED to hear there's an astrologist in the game.

"someone looking for me? who is it?"

she will squeal, please.

look at you!!!

your whole design has stars and is space-themed and you're so cute and you're voice is so soothing ! ! !

she really likes listening to you talk about astrology because your voice gets even softer than before.

that scene where you go to the cliff??

please she has that scene as her lockscreen <3

you just look so cool when you start to do your process.

you're so focused and the way they animate your process in the game is beautiful.

and then the fatui harbinger interrupts one of your meetings :00

you grab onto mona's character and teleport away in a cloud of stars and specks of your elemental vision.

she's kinda embarrassed when you scold her about getting involved with the harbinger--

but not only are you really cool and awesome, you're super strong, too!

please be sassy more she really likes how proud you sound :))

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etherealino · 3 years

Text

fake dating, skz.

ot8 scenario.

content/warning(s): fake dating au, just small scenarios. some are idolverse, some aren’t. swearing, hating on jype, nagging mother. tell me if i missed something!

note: i might do full length fics for each babies. what do u guys think?

chan. —

the one where he’s being pestered by his best friend to bring a plus one to his best friend’s wedding and it can’t be a random person but someone he’s actually dating.

minho looks at chan who just whines. “please?” minho says which is unusually gentle than his nagging teasing tone. “it’s been years and i think it’s time for you to finally go back to dating.”

“i will bring someone, i promise.” chan says, smiling lightly. minho could be annoying about this whole dating thing but he knows minho just wants him to be as happy as he was before.

“not just anyone?” minho says and chan nods. “someone you’re dating.”

chan looks up, eyes widening and minho frowns. what the hell does he do? chan knows how determined minho is, he won’t stop. “hyung, jeongin’s on the verge of asking his girlfriend of marrying him and—”

“y/n.” chan cuts him off with the first name that pops in his mind causing minho to raises his eyebrow. “i’m bringing y/n.”

“i said someone you’re—” minho cuts himself off, looking at chan with his eyes widening. he looks behind, seeing you having a conversation with his fiancé probably helping her with something on the wedding as she is showing you a sample from the magazine. minho looks back to chan who looks at him nervously. “hyung?”

“two weeks.” chan lies.

“why didn’t you tell me before?” minho asks and chan shrugs.

“i.. wanted to be sure.” chan says, seeing minho’s shock expression not going away and is probably not going away anytime so soon. “but now, i’m sure.”

“then, i’ll tell my girl that y/n will sit with you.” minho says and chan nods, mumbling a thanks. when minho’s fiancé pulls away from you to go to minho, chan immediately goes to you to explain the mess he has dragged you into.

oh, how frustrated you are going to be. chan could already see it.

minho. —

the one where you two are roommates and he can’t help but overhear how your mother would always bug you about not having a boyfriend among other things, so he decides to just save your ass because deep down you’re one of the few people in his list who he would do everything for.

throughout dinner, all minho has ever heard how your mom would pick on the littlest things that you would do and not do. minho was starting to get irritated because clearly, your mother doesn’t know how much of an amazing person you are (but of course, he’d rather go to jail than let you know that).

as minho cleans on the table, you are still by the door with your mom.

“i didn’t want to bring this up earlier right in front of your roommate because it would be humiliating,” your mother says and minho rolls his eyes. as if she hasn’t humiliated you the whole night. “but do you ever plan on having a boyfriend?”

“mom, i just graduated college. i have a lot of things to focus on, i don’t have the time—”

“well, do it faster. no one is available forever.”

that was it. minho couldn’t hold it any longer. he just wants your mom to stop and let her know how unbelievably amazing you are. as he puts the table rug down, he loudly says, “my love, can you help me?”

you turn your head to him, looking at him and minho doesn’t do anything but shrug. ��y/n, love,” he calls again, walking to you and acting as if he was surprised to see your mother is still there on the doorway. “mrs. y/l/n, i’m sorry. i thought you went off already.”

“are you two together?” your mom slowly asks and your jaw drops, minho placing his hands on your shoulders. “why didn’t you tell me?” she asks and you look at minho.

“we decided to keep it between the two of us for now.” minho says and you let out a noise, eyes widening at minho as you pull away from his hold.

“you could have just told me, you silly girl.” your mom says and you look at her. “alright, i’ll be going. you help your boyfriend with the cleaning. remember the things i told you and bring minho by the house when there’s a gathering if he’s allowed to.”

you blink. “o-okay.” you stutter, leaning forward to kiss your mom on the cheek. minho does the same and your mom smiles. “take care, ma.”

“stay safe, mrs. y/l/n.” minho says and she nods, thanking the two of you as she walks to the elevator. you shut the door, glaring at minho. damn, this is going to be a long night of scolding.

changbin. —

the one where people think he’s dating an idol and keep insisting that that person is the inspiration behind his songs but in order to not drag that other idol into the mess, he drops the name of his non-idol best friend that nobody’s ever heard of.

changbin jumps when he hears the door of his room barge open and he sees you glaring down at him. “what. the. hell?” you grit your teeth, fuming at your best friend as you glare at him. changbin whines, knowing how fucked up did he do about the whole situation.

sure, he was thinking about the other idol who he never has exchanged at least one word with but he never though about his best friend. he was.. caught up in the moment.

“y/n, i’m really sorry. i didn’t think this would bring so much chaos.”

“you think?!”

changbin whines. he may be all buff and strong and one of the most feared in stray kids but when it comes to you, he’ll fold even before you come at him. “y/n, i’m so sorry. i wasn’t thinking. plus, you’re profession is different from us they wouldn’t just..” changbin trails off when he sees you tapping your foot impatiently. right, dispatch could be a big bitch.

“y/n,” changbin calls, standing up from his bed and walking forward to place his hands on your shoulders. “just please, go along with it? just for a few months, i promise. i wil protect you from the reporters, i swear. just.. do this favor for me, please.”

you sigh, brushing your fingers through your hair. you wrap your arms around his torso, pulling him in and changbin returns the hug. “fine.” you say and changbin sigh in relief. “also, go take a bath. you stink.”

changbin laughs, kissing your temple.

hyunjin. —

the one where the company is being a huge pain in the ass by telling the two of you to pull a public stunt which is fake dating one another.

“what?” you and hyunjin said in unison. you looked at your manager in disbelief who just shrugs, shaking her head in disagreement as she turns away with a sigh.

“just for a couple of months.” the staff says in a gentle, manipulative tone. “just to get the heat off of the company.”

hyunnjin brushes his hand through his long locks, hiding his frustration even though he knows you feel the same just as he does. you sigh, putting your forehead on your palm as you close your eyes.

“it will help you with your upcoming comeback.” the staff says to you and you visibly scoff, causing your manager to lightly nudge you behind. you groan, looking away. “it will also help you with the votings and streamings.” the staff tells hyunjin and he only looks down, playing with his fingers.

silence takes over, everyone feeling your and hyunjin’s anger to the staff. but after a few minutes, hyunjin speaks up. “how many months?”

silence takes over again and you look at the woman in front of you who sighs. “12 months.” she sheepishly smiles.

“that’s a whole ass year.” you say and she smiles.

“we’ll send dispatch something tomorrow. so just be ready.” she says. “you’re dismissed.” the moment those two words left her lips, you and hyunjin immediately rose up to exit the office. when your manager closes the door, you went straight to the wall, covering your face with your hands as you lean against the wall with a groan leaving your lips.

you feel a hand on your shoulder and you look up to see the tall long haired boy. “hey.” you greet and hyunjin chuckles.

“we’ll get through this.” hyunjin encourages and you smile, holding your fist out.

“yeah, we will.” you said and hyunjin looked at your fist, blinking then back to your eyes.

“i’m going to be your boyfriend tomorrow and you’re giving me a fist bump?” hyunjin deadpans and you laugh, lightly pushing him as he laughs loudly.

jisung. —

the one where he’s your best friend and someone takes a liking on you but you’re too soft to reject someone so you randomly ask jisung to be your fake boyfriend.

“what do you want?” jisung says and you pout lightly, looking into his eyes.

“ji..” you softly call and jisung crosses his arms over his chest. “i think.. changbin’s going to confess tomorrow.”

“and?”

“i need you to swoop in and tell him we’re dating.” you say as you play on chips of his door. jisung’s eyes widen, laughing lightly as he blinks.

“come again?” jisung says and you whine, looking at him. “no!”

“why not?” you ask.

“just say you like me instead of pulling this stunt!” jisung says.

“hey, i don’t!” you say, scrunching your nose as you look down. “i just really don’t want to confront changbin about it and you know me. i’d just end up saying yes and—”

“it’s okay to say no.” jisung says but you only pout looking at him. jisung pinches the bridge of his nose, sighing. “y/n, i swear to god—”

“free cheesecakes as long as this goes on.”

“—you’re the bestest friend ever.”

felix. —

the one where you’ve been wanting to experience what’s it like to have a boyfriend so felix being the best friend, he lets you have the experience you deserve once you have an actual boyfriend. (got it from here.)

“lix,” you called and felix turns to you with a smile on his face. “i’m kind, right?”

“yeah,” felix answered. you truly are. whenever felix is in need of your help, you would always be there. and by always, i mean even if you’re about to do something for yourself, you’d put felix first.

“i’m not that dumb, right?” you ask.

“you’re actually really smart, y/n.” felix answers. you are. felix would always ask for your help when he’s having trouble with some subjects. and everytime you two would get into talking and there’s a test that’s to be taken by that day, felix knows you didn’t study. you never study. but how the hell do you still get high scores?

“i’m not that ugly, right?” you asked.

felix looks at you weirdly, eyebrows scrunched together as he shakes his head ‘no’. “everyone finds you extremely attractive, y/n. your beauty is simple, unlike the others.” felix says and you blush lightly, but still you want to continue with your drama.

“then why don’t i have a boyfriend?” you asked and felix just chuckles at you, continuing on doing his work. “hey,” you said with a pout. “i’m serious.”

felix softly smiles at you and places the slate and marker on his chair. “i’ll be your boyfriend,” felix answers and leans in to place a kiss on your forehead. your eyes widens, but felix continues to move as if nothing happened.

still with the soft smile on his face, felix grabs the slate and goes outside to seungmin.

seungmin. —

the one where you both decide to fake date for the sake of the annual movie fest happening in your university and the genre assigned to you is romance but seungmin, the director and you, the scriptwriter have no experience in that area which makes it hard for the two of you to bring it to life.

you softly sigh, rereading jisung’s text over and over again. seungmin gazes at you, noticing the expression that he was unable to decipher. “what did jisung say this time?” he asks and you look at him, turning the phone screen to him. seungmin reads the test and he leans on his seat, not removing his eyes on the text.

well, it’s not bad actually.

“what do you think?” seungmin asks and you shrug, softly sighing.

“it’s not a bad idea.” you softly say. “are you alright with it?”

“well, it is a good idea and we could work on it together.” seungmin says and you nod. “so, we’re doing this?”

“i guess?” you say, a bit unsure of it. you look at your wrist watch, seeing the time making you fix your things. “i have class in a few minutes, seung.”

seungmin nods, standing up as he helps you. when you sling your bag on your shoulder, he takes your laptop bag putting it on his shoulder and grabs your books as well. “what are you doing?” you ask.

“what kind of boyfriend lets his girlfriend go to class alone and on top of it, with so much bag as if she’s going to run away from home?” seungmin deadpans and you look at him.

“oh, we start now?” you mumble.

“we only have four weeks to pass the script.” seungmin says and you chuckle, nodding with a sigh.

“gosh, you need to be my boyfriend to help me with carrying my stuff.” you mumble and seungmin looks at you, pulling his tongue out.

jisung: this maybe stupid but also makes sense

jisung: date each other even just until you passed the script

jisung: just so you know what to do and stuff

jisung: just don’t fall in love

jisung: but if you do, please mention me in your wedding vows and speeches

jeongin. —

the one where he thought it would be a good idea to get his fangirls off his back by telling them he’s dating you in secret.

jeongin knocks into your apartment, giving you his charming cute smile. you raise your eyebrow, lightly chucking. “what’s up, yang?” you say, looking at him. jeongin gestures with his hands to go inside your apartment and you open your door wide to let him in.

“you know how were the bestest of friends?” jeongin asks, looking at you with his smile that not even a second did it fade.

you look at him. “no, not really.” you deadpan and jeongin sighs, frowning as he looks at you. “what do you need?”

“remember when you mentioned about the girls in uni going crazy about me?” jeongin says and you nod. “i kind of told them that i was dating someone in secret.” jeongin told you and you nod.

“you are?” you ask and jeongin shakes his head. “so you lied just to get them off your back?” you asked and jeongin nodded. “okay, so?”

“they wouldn’t let me go until i tell them who it is.” jeongin said and you nodded. jeongin just stares at you and you raise your eyebrow, not getting where the conversation is going. jeongin slowly tilts his head, staring at you and your eyes widen, hitting his arm.

“you told them it was me?!” you exclaimed.

jeongin blinks at you. “ow?” he says and you groan.

“jeongin!”

“i know it wasn’t the smartest decision—”

“the smartest?” you repeat with emphasis because it wasn’t even smarter, it wasn’t smart. it was the dumbest. ever. “jeongin, those girls are oing to—”

“i’ll give you hyunjin hyung’s number after all of this is over.” jeongin cuts you off and you look at him. “it was obvious. he’s just... dense as fuck.”

you sigh, “you pick me up tomorrow at 7.”

“thank you, y/n!” he exclaims, hugging you as he presses your body against his. “thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“alright, go home.” you say and jeongin laughs, pulling away from you. jeongin giggles, kissing your cheek as he exits your apartment to go home.

make me do it a full length au thanks. lmAO SDHBJHS,, im going to !! tell me if u want to be tagged <3

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tommyspeakycap · 3 years

Note

request for jack grealish one where he’s really upset over something and you’re there with him to comfort him, lots of physical contact being his love language and you being the only person he likes touching his hair ?

Comfort

You knew from the very second he walked through the door that annoyed would be an incredibly generous word to describe the emotions running through the Brummie boys head. You grimace to yourself, shoulder raising closer to your ears at the sound of the brand new front door slamming heavily behind him with a curse at the fact he couldn't get his shoes kicked off just right the first time he attempted it in the foyer.

The first game was a loss and just about all he'd gotten for the past few days was hate, stress, hate and some more fucking stress. He was exhausted. From Mykonos to Birmingham to get a bag full of clothes so he could meet Villa in London before eventually travelling to Manchester, his sleep schedule has been completely messed up and even when he did have bursts of time where he should have been sleeping, he had been laying awake scrolling through countless tweets criticising his every single move. Add to that the fact his body was exhausted from international duty and that he had wanted nothing more than to curl up by your side and let his worries melt away like he had last gotten to do nearly three whole months ago.

He doesn't know you're here. To the very best of Jack's knowledge, you were still home in Birmingham and he would probably have to broach the conversation of whether or not you'll be joining him up anytime soon, if ever. He lets out a frustrated grunt, but you know Jack better than anyone else and there's the thick sheen of his heart aching tears existing beneath his frustration.

"Hey baby."

His head snaps around to land his eyes on you the second your sweet voice meets his buzzing ears. The echos of Etihad still burn a bit of his hearing away for now, but he knows it'll return to normal by the end of the night. The tears that had previously been kept on his lash line, pushed back by his will not to breakdown for fear he might not be able to stop if he starts are now past the last line of defence, streaming over his cheeks as he crossed the floor at a pace that would send his fife rating into surefire question.

Your body makes an involuntary 'oof' as he crashes against you, his arms so tight around your body as he stops you from stumbling back with the force of his incoming hug. You don't think he's ever actually held you that tightly before, never with such dire necessity, with such urgency for you to be as close to him as he could get you.

The hair that's been allowed to fall loose from the band he'd earlier had it tied back in tickles the back of your neck as it dangles over the exposed skin. He mumbles something almost incoherent about how much he's missed you into your neck, pepping chaste kisses where his lips have landed against you in this hug. You wished you could enjoy that, but the dampening that has begun to occur over the shoulder that his head is above reminds you of the pain he must be in.

Leaving your childhood club is one thing, but leaving it when everybody else seems to think he's a monster for it is a whole different kind of agony. There were just too many emotions for people to see the kind of things Jack had given for the club and the huge opportunity he had left them with his legacy and with the money they copped for his record breaking sale.

"It's okay, Jacky." You coo, tightening your arms around you as he attempts one tighter squeeze to force the tears back into him. It's a futile attempt, his arms loosening but never dropping away from you as he squeezes his eyes shut and lets those sobs shake his body. "I got you, baby. I've got you."

There was such a mix of emotions running through him that made him feel like the world had just pushed him to the ground and taken the perfect opportunity to give his body a good kicking. First final for England in 55 years, then they lost in a penalty shootout he didn't even get to be a part of after a game he barely got to play in. Then a holiday he couldn't take with you because of work commitments and a sudden coworker needed sooner maternity leave meaning your holiday was completely eliminated. As if those things didn't dampen his spirit, all that transfer business had gone down and it was finally all hitting him.

His exhaustion had caught up, an inevitable burn out that could be messed only by the presence of you in his life. Some of this tears that stream down his cheeks and pool on the grey material of your t-shirt are ones of joy and relief for finally having you back in his arms again for the first time in far too long of a time. Jack vows he will never ever spend that amount of time without you again. Never will he let so much time pass before he gets to hold you, kiss you and tell you face to face how much he truly loves every single thing about you.

"You're my rockstar, you know." You announce, seemingly out of the blue ones his body wracking sobs had died to smaller sniffled and period tears streaking down onto you. "I've literally never been prouder of anyone in my life ever. Not only did you fucking smash the euros, but then you stayed so sweet and so amicable during such a difficult process. You handled everything so well, J. I'm so proud or you and I'm so, so happy for you." You promise, pushing him back so you can take his blotchy, tear streaked face in your head. The expanse of that face is coved in your kisses, pecked all over the surface until he's giggling like the Jack that you know so well, his laugh the most contagious sound you've ever been lucky enough to get to hear on a daily basis. "And I'm so lucky that you let me share this journey with you." You finish, landing your lips softly and perfectly onto his with a warmth and love he had been desperately missing out on for those last vital few weeks of his break.

"S' our journey," Jack mumbles in response against your lips, pulling back every so slightly so he can get a proper good look at the face he had missed so much in person. Your cute quirked eyebrows and confusion tainted eyes make him smile before he elaborates. "Not my journey, it's our journey together. All of this, just the two of us."

His words make your heart sore, flying up onto the space above you in pure glee. You had to admit there was a mild element of fear wondering if he would want you here or if he'd maybe be wanting fresh start, but that was certainly not the case for Jack.

"I love you," he says as you feel him tuck you right back into his chest with a content hum. "I love you too, but you need a wash."

Jack's laughter bellows loudly from his chest beneath your ear at your lightly playful and yet very truthful statement.

"I ran you a bubble bath for you. Bathroom's huuuuge." Your eyes are full of wonder like he thought they might be when he would get the opportunity to bring you out to his temporary Manchester abode. This is you would both stay until he could find a house to place some money down on so he can truly start to settle out the fact he's going to have the next six years of his life here in this area with this club. It makes him more than happy, being here. But something that tickles him in thought as he follows you up the stairs is that he'll get to experience all of this newness with you. You’ll get to explore the new area together, find nee places, making it home together. You had both known Soulihull like the back of your hand, now you could find new places to just be together. He can go house hunting with you. He'll let you drag him through the houses he probably wouldn't otherwise look so much into, talking about what room could be which and silly little things he wouldn't even have noticed.

He could pick a house with you that would have enough room to start a family in together within the next year or so, like you had been hoping to do depending on what the club and transfer season had brought. This brought stability, a team that would function well without a reliance on him if there were some things he had to sit out in order to build this family.

It had been, unbeknownst to you, such a pivotal part of discussions with the Manchester City agents. Jack made it clear he was looking for stability and trophies. He had done so much for Villa and now it was time for him to invest energy in bigger fights with bigger clubs that don't face relegation so constantly. He made it clear to the managers also that the was looking to be in the business of starting a family sometime soon. He was welcomed with open arms still. A club who wanted him desperately and would probably have caved to many more demands from him, not having a fraction of an issue with negotiated paternity pay and leave.

He couldn't wait to find a house and settle down here with you for the foreseeable future, even if things didn't look exactly as he thought they might've looked when you first got together as merely young adults.

"What's going on in that pretty head of yours, eh?" You ask softly, running your fingers gently through his tangled and sweaty hair as he stands there in the middle of the large bathroom. Jack shrugs. There's so much in there today, not really like usual where he could sort through those thoughts and keep his head clear for every day and every game he faces.

"Just stressed," he huffs, allowing you to help him out of the brand new away strip he had been given at the beginning of the day today for his first first game with the new team.

His muscles are achy and tight, body still stiff from the cold that the rain had battered into his limbs as you easily hook off his boxers and tug them down his legs so he can step over the bathtub into the perfect temperature bubble filled water that makes him heave out a heavy sigh of relief the second it meets his skin.

"Talk to me, baby?"

And talk to you he did after he sat down in that bath with you.

He leaned back against you, allowing you to lather shampoo into the hair he trusted very few people with multiple times to massage the ache out of his skull from the previous days tension headaches. He talks about all those messages from so many unhappy people, some even City fans who didn't even want to entertain the idea of him being there. He talks about his worry of sitting on the bench season after season, telling you he was hoping to god those tweets wouldn't be further from the truth. He confided in you some of his greatest pains; the concept that he'd let his Villa teammates down and maybe even made his family unhappy despite the fact they had given him nothing but their full support and unsurprising pride just like everybody else in his immediate circle.

You massage muscle relaxing soap into all of the muscles in his body as he just talks, letting the weight of the world off of his shoulders to dissipate like the steam in the air from the bath. Only once he has everything off his chest and the waters gone cold do you both leave the bathroom, wrapped in towels then into pyjamas where he wraps you up in his arms like he's been desperate to do since the moment he touched off for International duty months ago, and he talks again.

This time, he talks to you instead of just talking out every worry and fear he's ever had.

Jack uses probably the most amount of words he's ever used in such sensible succession in order to paint you a perfect mental picture of a house just outside the city with a huge garden, fenced in for dogs and kids with a pool and enough room for all three of those future kids to have their own room, even though they'll share at first just for fun. He paints a picture of you at his games with two sons and a daughter, his name on each shirt along your back. The kids will call Foden uncle Phil and they’ll love him just like you both do. They'll get to play with the teams kids on the pitch after the games no matter how tired the guys are even if they've been thrashed in a loss. He depicts the kind of life you had both wanted for so long, somehow always deterred by something until right this moment, the time feeling like it had rolled perfectly into place for both of you.

And Jack tells you about how you'll poke fun at him when he starts to get those salt and pepper strands of hair and he'll love you no matter how you look. Your kids will learn what love is from their parents, they'll pick it up and they'll emulate it in their own lives sometime in the future. They'll stamp out hate with the hearts full of love that you will both allow those kids to grow into.

You both fall asleep together that night, wrapped in each others arms drifting off into dreams of kids that don't exist yet in a house you haven't even looked for with a future that each of you wants nothing more than to grab onto with both hands.

Jack's heart hurts for the changes he's made this week. He doubts the pain will ever fully leave him and he hopes that one day his club will welcome him back to end his career on a high note with them. However, until then the pain will be dulled by the prospect of his new future here.

One he can't wait to get stuck right into.

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