For the author ask, your BTS commentary of your fav scene of Pour Some Memory Down :)
oooh an exciting one (and dangerous asking me for a commentary) It's the second (first full) scene of Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang on the pier. There were a few options but there's a lot of stuff inthis bit that I liked and also them on the pier is the core and inspo for this fic
Cut for length
Nie Huaisang is still floating calmly in the lake, his words about the Xuanwu rolling through Jiang Cheng’s head.
The Xuanwu! Simply put Nie Huaisang is a lying liar who lies- and more importantly it's about how Jiang Cheng doesn't pick up on it because his mind is sort of always stuck on Nie Huaisang being weaker or needing help. He's never considered how, if huaisang cana't swim, he got out of that cave. And he's starting to question that now- although there's a later paragraph where JC shows how he's trying to not think about that and how it means nhs is a liar. I tend to write JC as putting nhs on a pedestal while simultaneously having infinite gripes with him. THey're complicated boys.
Jiang Cheng is still standing on the pier, the rain is pelting but the worst of the storm is yet to come. The dry riverbed gasping it in, unaware-
Continuining as is the case with this whole fic, JC's mental/headspace is abysmal, like words cannot. Also lots of pathetic fallacy. It's kind of meant to be a metaphor for jc's trauma, I guess. It's bad and he's soaking the pain in and moping in it- but he's got a whole week of this and it's gonna get worse. Just like the riverbed- and JC doesn't want to think about that either
The ground surrounding the pier is wet and seems less like ash, the river a gaping mouth trying to swallow it up
Ash and burning vs wetness and rain were the two big things about this fic. Again, I'm a basic cheap ass bitch, pathetic fallacy. They're fighting each other just like Jiang Cheng's thoughts! The rain extinguishes the fire and washes away the ash! but it's dangerous and damaging in its own way. You have to be careful with it. They complement each other, just like sangcheng.
“Last time you were the one in the water and I was the one sitting on the edge of the lake.” A pause. “Different bit of lake I guess.”
“It’s the same bit of lake.”
This is probably one of my favourite exchanges in the whole fic tbh. Different but the same, many years and many changes but still them, maybe in some ways unrecognisable, but still them. There is also something in here about how JC is trying to cling to good things that have changed from him and while he feels like he needs it, it's not good for him. Jiang Cheng in his jc way, is trying to say a lot more to nhs than it just being the same bit of lake. NHS is unfortunatley not a mind reader, although today he really is trying. He's starting to realise that maybe JC is just of big a liar as NHS himself is, just in different ways.
For jc's part he's saying, we can be those carefree kids again, right? we can? Nothing has changed, right? We're still us, right? and he knows it's not but he wants it to be.
Then, Nie Huaisang’s eyes are so very, very close to Jiang Cheng’s own, staring at him unblinkingly. Water streams down his face, dripping off his nose- and it’s raining right now, sure, but Huaisang’s mouth looks so very wet and-
The first kiss fake out! I think this is actually the only one I intended to be a fake out, all the other ones were times I wanted them to kiss but decided it felt weird to have them have a big sloppy while one of them was like... dissassociating, or crying, or hitting the other
Also, Huaisang totes knows what he's going
“-did you want me to die? Did you want us to die? Did you want yourself to die?”
Jiang Cheng starting to realise that NHS might not be so alright- and JC starting to really properly break out of his fog. This is actually partly why nhs drags jc into the river he's starting to realise jc worries about him so he's, very very poorly, trying to get jc more in the moment but making him fuss about him. For his part, JC is doing his usual "break your legs bluster" but as he goes on he starts to wonder and worry about what NHS was doing
Some of the anger begins to turn to fear as his words catch up with him, but it’s still unbelievably, wonderfully, unbearably sharp .
Had that been what Huai-
as I was saying above, the strategy might be sus, but NHS sort of flics JC out of his introspection and back into the now- and JC evens start to wonder if that's what NHS was doing before he gets distracted by nhs again and also his complte denial and inability to consider nhs outside his framework of the "weaker one" at this point in the story- until yanno, he starts wondering how come nhs copes with grief better (debateable) and if that makes nhs stronger
“I said that [killing JC/NHS} that would kind of defeat the whole point,” the other sect leader mutters, like a petulant child. (And Jiang Cheng knows some.)
Jin Ling is the petulant child. But yes, some more light on NHS' agenda! To make sure JC doesn't accidentally drown himself in his own grief, to help JC with the worst week of his life by distracting him- a tactic that uh, JC maybe doesn't appreciate but that's the fic. JC, of course, has no idea what NHS is talking about and just tries to ignore it. Also this is NHS so even when he's talking about pretty serious things (his fear that JC is heading towards his own destructive spiral leading to his grave) he's gotta be a little brat about it. Can't show real genuine emotion, let alone care, ot Jiang Cheng eh?
IDk I felt it was very them, they're both allergic to letting each other they care about the other becuase of the gulf between them, and the history, and the current circumstances of their life, and their own personal traumas. But they care, they do.
Oh also, if I'm talking about it, while NHS is somewhat concerned about JC being possibly suicidal he IS mostly being facetious- it's like, JC has dealt with this awful week for several years and he's still kicking. NHS is more worried that it's not sustainable and has also realised that maybe it's not fair that JC always has to deal with it alone. JC does not (in his own internal thoughst at least) consider himself suicidal or wanting to die. He just... isn't entirely emotionally connected to the phsycial plane at this point in time.
Lastly something to note that never really comes up because NHS doesn't notice and JC doesn't say but um admittedly to an extent nHS being here has made jC worse- which is why nhs has weird fluctuating concern. JC can't completely disconnect in a way that he typically woud (Unhealthy coping behaviour all the same) because he needs to entertain/interact with Huaisang. This means that JC actually has to deal with all his emotions in this week for once (not that he does that either, all the cut off thoughts) as opposed to competely checking out for a week and coming back to himself surrounded by alcohol ocassionally
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Sorry I never gave a proper update on tumblr——
here’s some brainstorming doodles from Keo and me on the white board and some examples Keo made in my notebook. I won’t forget it, one of my harshest note was “NEVER draw Kenny in 3/4!! Trey hates that!” 🤣 The story leads stressed that Trey is very particular with acting decisions and poses, most of which don’t translate into the animation. It’s for him at the editing stage, to “make his voice sing”. Getting into Trey’s head, funnily enough, requires FEELING. Feeling what he’s going for in terms of delivery, to learn what not to take literally in his script (when trey says “kathleen kennedy is like terminator” it’s not what you initially think it means), what emotion or gesture to put in to elevate a joke, to get the message through. It’s so fascinating!
In short, I didn’t make the cut. I was “too fresh”, and needed more experience with the technical aspect of storyboarding…. but I was complimented by Keo for my intuition, something that can’t be taught. I was over the moon when I was told I got the style of the show, whereas other trainees with 10+ experience couldn’t. Some of them tested but don’t even watch the show!! That’s crazy, but I guess that’s to be expected. My knowledge of the show and deep love for the characters got me this far, but I need to work on my actual story boarding skills (keo said my struggles are in composition and scaling) to stay!! 💪🏼 I’m taking this… as a not yet, not a no. I’m already on their radar, in their database, I’m incredibly lucky I got to make my THIRD connection in the studio, I just need to work on myself until I can arrive. I’m so grateful for all the support from friends family and industry moots to get me this far, it’s only the beginning of the year but I don’t think anything could top what happened to me this March!!!!!
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I want to write an essay to that last yuuji ask on GOD but one I'm not good with words and two I can not think straight rn cause I swear I could picture it all crystal clear like l... I want to say a thousand times the word like cause I'm so speechless rn... I'm almost crying you have no idea he makes me want to turn into a beast and devour him!! He totally is chatty during sex thats actually canon and and I feel my throat dry rn.... The creampie part I will stop now cause that's too much for me to handle right this second but just know that you my friend are the biggest brained person ever. Don't you just wish you could ruin him?
yeah :// he’s too good to be true, the strong urge to choke him just to make him red in the face but knowing that it probably doesn’t even hurt him or phase him because he’s freakishly strong like that… god…
yk that tweet that’s like “fucking in missionary so we can keep arguing during it>” that’s yuuji, but you’re not arguing, he’s just yapping fr. and it’s so…. him because, yeah, part of it is dirty talk, and he can’t help but to spill everything on his mind when he’s inside of you, but also a lot of it is memories of you. he’ll literally be fucking you within an inch of your life and find time to go, “hey, babe—fuck—remember, ah, remember megumi’s birthday dinner last year? that dress you wore… you looked so fucken pretty?” “did you buy this necklace at the same place nobara got—shit—got her new ring from? it looks—looks real good on you, you know?” “we should go get dessert after, i know how much you like the banana bread from that one cafe. and you’re so pretty when you’re happy.” and it’s so insane because why can’t he shut up, but kinda sweet bc you get this glimmer into yuuji’s mind, how he sees you, how he all his memories of you seem to be skewed for him to believe you’re perfect, perfect, perfect, and something about having his dick inside of you and you looking him in the eye while he’s fucking you seems to invoke those feelings… loverboy :(
but when he’s not chatting about you, he’s chatting about the things he wants to do to you. he’s pretty about open sex, but you always find that some things seem to slip out when he’s on the brink of orgasm, something about almost being over the edge releases all his inhibitions, he can’t stop himself from mumbling about how much he wishes he could cum inside of you, how he kinda wants to choke you bc he thinks you’d pretty with his hand around your neck, how he wants to mark you and make you his forever… and he never brings it up after… honestly sometimes you think you’re imagining it yourself, stuck in your post-orgasm haze, but you swear yuuji mentioned something about how your his but he’d share you with megumi if he asked..
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