#I MISSED THIS TYPE OF EPISODES SO MUCH 😭😭😭😭

[nomoretumbler]

// AVM 31 SPOILERS? //

I KNOW THIS IS A STRECH BUT PLEASE,,,,, I’m choosing to believe this is the same place of the lush caves episode they just explored it and terraformed it,, pls guys I swear I’m not insane I’m just obsessed with that episode 🙏🙏🙏 guys pleas

#I WANTED FOR SECOND AND RES TO GO IN TOGETHER SO BAD #Yes lush caves is still my favorite episode #even when noteblock universe exists #ITS JUST SO GOOD AT SHOWING THE COMPLEX RELATIONSHIPS IN THE GROUPP IM SOOO #CANT BELIEVE ITS GOING TO BE 2 YEARS PLD IN LIKE 3 WEEKS 😭😭😭😭😭 #anyways the race was RIGGED red should have won he’s the winner in my heart #animation vs minecraft #animator vs animation #animation vs animator #ava #avm #ava shorts #avm shorts #alan becker #avm spoilers #I MISSED THIS TYPE OF EPISODES SO MUCH 😭😭😭😭 #THYERE JUST HANGING OUT AND BEING SILLY AND #the cave in rp 21 is the lush caves to ever exists in my mind im sorry #I see a lush caves biome and I just cry

[ellielatinagf]

Lacrosse Ellie Part 4

summary: I’ll let you find out on your own😉

Warnings: fluffffff, cursing, readers same old delusions. Lmk if I’ve missed anything

“So after all that YOU NEVER KISSED???” Dina exclaims. You sat on your bed with your phone in one hand help up to your ear and your other hand holding your remote clicking through channels that you weren’t interested in.

“No. And we were sooooooo close” you replied in a pout.

“Wait okay so you met up with her for a study date and ended spending the time flirting and ALMOST kissing right?” Dina asked

“Yeahhhh” you groaned. You were upset you didn’t kiss her. Those pink lips that had been lingering in your mind for weeks. You wanted to kiss them.

“Then I mean…don’t you still need help with math?” Dina asked. You smirked. This girl was a genius. You suddenly forgave her for her huge cockblock episode the other day.

“I’ll call you back” you said and hung up the phone.

You went on Instagram and went to Ellie’s chats.

“Heyy” You typed. You but the top of your finger out of excitement. Does this girl know how flustered she makes you. Does she know how much she makes you blush at the guilty pleasure you have of imagining your kids together one day? You imagined yourself and Ellie cuddling in bed and embracing each other while your two kids who looked like a perfect mix of you and Ellie were playing with their toys. Yup, you’d imagined it all.

*seen just now*

Oh god

*typing…*

“Hey pretty”

OH MY GOD

You swiped out of happiness and reread that message a thousand times it feels like. You took a screenshot of the message and smiled.

“Hey sooo um last time we met I didn’t really get to study any math sooo I was wondering😭😭” you typed. You hesitated to hit send. Maybe it would seem to desperate? You ignored it and hit send anyways.

“Oh yeah I forgot. I’m free right now if you wanna come over?” Ellie replied.

You two were basically married right? That’s what she’s asking, your hand in marriage? No way she just invited you to her house. You stared at the wall. You can see it now. How does Karina sound as a baby name?

“Like Right now?” You asked

“Mhm” she replied. You don’t know why but that small text made you imagine her humming that and it gave you butterflies.

“Okay then I’ll be over” you replied. Ellie sent you the address and you made your way over. The walk to say the least was gruesome. You wondered what Ellie’s house would be like. What are her parents like? It’s kind of obvious the girl is gay. Or maybe you wanted her so much you made yourself think everything she does is gay. Point is, you were going to see Ellie’s house. Maybe even her room. Who knew that the girl you have a fat crush on is inviting you to her house. You can see yourself laying on a beach during your honeymoon with ellie already.

You ring the doorbell to a nice comfy looking house. A big man, maybe 6ft, opens the door. He looked kind of old but not too much. Maybe in his late 40s?

“Hi um…is Ellie here?” You asked. Your voice was small. This man looked intimidating. Like he’d cut your throat like an apple. Instead the man smiled.

“Oh yeah she’s upstairs. First door on your right. My names Joel by the way, nice to meet you” the man said holding his hand for you to shake. You felt your shoulders relax when you realized he wouldn’t lead you into the woods to kill you.

“I’m y/n, nice to me you too mr…Williams?” You asked. This man didn’t look anything like Ellie at all honestly. He had black hair, which actually started to gray out. And he didn’t have freckles or his face complexion wasn’t similar to Ellie’s.

“Haha, miller. I’m Joel Miller. You can call me Joel though.” He smiled. You nodded and made your way to Ellie’s room.

You knocked on the door softly

“Come in” you heard a voice say. You slowly opened the door. When you walked in the room you noticed the edgy teen boy aesthetic that took place inside.

The walls were covered in 80s bands posters and comic book or video game posters as well. One section of the wall even had been decorated with an array of collectible comic book cards. You removed them when Ellie talked about them last time you met up. “Savage starlight”. Another thing you saw was the guitar that had a moth design on the neck and an electric guitar.

“Sorry my rooms a little messy, I meant to clean it up but I..got distracted” Ellie said which made you avert your eyes to her. You blushed at how she wore that nice loose fitting sweater and how her tan colored khakis has paint splotches. And as always you smiled at those crusty raggedy converse she seemed to never be without.

“It’s cool” You Said sitting on the edge of Ellie’s bed. You placed your backpack down and Ellie moved from the desk to sit next to you. You could’ve sworn your heart stopped for a second.

“So what about math do you need help with?” Ellie asked looking straight into your eyes. The end of her lip curves upwards a bit like she was really really trying to hold back a smile.

“Pre calc” you sighed.

“Hmm” Ellie hummed peering over your shoulder to look at your notes. Your body felt like it was buzzing and you felt like you were sweating waterfalls.

After a couple hours of studying with Ellie you started to understood the material. Truth be told you really only needed a little bit of explaining but Ellie was such a distraction that everything she said went in one ear and out the other as you only focused on her voice and face. If there were a pop quiz about Ellie you’d get a hundred plus extra credit.

“So who’s your teacher anyway?” Ellie asked laying down next to you and holding herself up by her elbows.

“Mr.Anderson” You replied “I know his daughter though, Abby, she’s nice”

“He’s an interesting dude” Ellie responds “think he should’ve been some sorta vet though” she chuckled .

“Are you doing anything tomorrow?” Ellie asked. You thought around in your head if you had any plans.

“Probably just gonna watch bad girls club and pretend I’m on Britain’s next great baker” you joked

“You watch that shit?” Ellie chuckled.

“What’s wrong with it?!” You laughed.

“It’s just so…weird” Ellie laughed.

“I’m not gonna listen to someone who watches cartoons” you smirked.

“Hey! That was low” Ellie smiled “Savage starlight is awsome” you giggled and stared in Ellie’s eyes. Those green orbs were like magnets to you, you couldn’t see away from them no matter how hard you tried.

“Anyways, I was gonna ask if you wanted to come to my game tomorrow” Ellie asked. “Ya know if you like… if you really liked the last one” she added. “A-and you can invite Dina too if you want”. You probably would’ve gone even if Dina wasn’t going.

“I guess I could stop by. Even if it’s not as entertaining as crazy Judi throwing hands with voodoo dolls” you joked and Ellie snickered and looked down at the edge of the bed.

“Im glad you chose me over Bad Girls Club” Ellie smiled.

“Don’t get used to it, it’s a one time thing” you giggled.

You got up and started to say your goodbyes to Ellie. She offered to walk you home but you declined because you couldn’t wait any longer to tell Dina how your “not-so-date-date”went. Ellie walked you out smiled.

“Thank you helping me, I probably would’ve failed the test without you” you thank.

“No problem. Although next time you shit on Savage starlight I might start charging you” Ellie said leaning on the doorframe. Little does she know you’d pay any amount to see her.

“I guess I could start expanding my tutors then” you snarky said smiling.

“None of them will be as good as me” she said confidently.

No they will not

You rolled your eyes and giggled. “Bye Ellie” you smiled looking over your shoulder and waving.

“Bye pretty” Ellie smiled and watched you leave. You stared in front of you and thanked god Ellie couldn’t see your blushing face.

As you walled you smiled at yourself. When can she finally kneel down and propose already? You didn’t know what was more cuter. The girl herself or the fact that she had a weighted 3 foot dinosaur plushie sitting on her bed. You picked up your phone to cal the one and only best friend.

“Dina, we’re on our 5th child right now” you said.

“Your so delusional”

Im so sorry this came out wayyyyy longer than expected. My first couple drafts got DELETED and some stuff happened at home but I thought this was cute❤️ the next part will actually have a tiny bit of angst and stuff but I promise I’ll give a good ending loves. Thank you soooo much for your patience and support!! Free Palestine 🇵🇸

Taglists: @vqxen @bready101 @lilylynne11 @lively-blues @Yurixxiii @vampyangel @gato-chino @a-little-bit-of-everybody @abbysbraids

#ellie the last of us #ellie williams #ellie x reader #tlou2 #tlou #ellie tlou #ellie x y/n #the last of us #tlou fanfiction

[writingstoraes]

podcast confessions 🎙

pairing: charles leclerc/fem!reader

type: instagram imagine/social media au

notes: not proofread, pls expect errors! hope ure all having a good day so far <33 lmk what u guys think! heavier on the twitter part hehe

about: you and charles share stories on a much awaited podcast episode!

divestudios

liked by sainzfilms, 16ferrari, girliepop, and 542,234 others

divestudios Aaaand you guessed it right, motorsport enthusiasts! This week on Dive Studios, Ferrari driver Charles Leclerc and girlfriend Y/N Y/L/N will be seated as our first guests for our segment "Destined" ❤️

Destined will be a regular segment in our podcast show where we invite couples to talk about all things love and relationship! We are excited to be in the studio with Y/N and Charles – who are apparently ranked by fans as the best couple on the Formula 1 grid!

Tag us on twitter divestudios for the questions you want to ask them!

tagged: charles_leclerc and yourusername

leclericciardo OH MY IM SO EXCITED

sainzhero my favorite couple 🫶

hamilt0n EXACTLY best couple on the grid so yeah we will be tuning in!

landonorris Someone ask them who the little spoon is cause Charles keep lying and I know its him

mercfan WHAT R U DOING HERE LANDO 😭

yourusername

liked by isahernaez, lilymhe, pierregasly, and 340,458 others

yourusername just found out my boyfriend almost said the l word the same day i did, cant believe i beat him to it 🤣 je taimé, baby! words are never enough to express how much i love you 🤍

ps. thanks everyone for loving our destined episode that aired today! we were honestly reallyyy nervous but seeing all the love really put a smile on our faces xx

charles_leclerc My person ❤️ I love you please wait for me before you eat dinner

sainzzzzlove u guys r so casual here now i love it so much

lilymhe LOOOVED THE PODCAST SO MUCH!!!

carlossainz55 Lol I remember the day he told me he loved you, really was smiling ear to ear

charles_leclerc Woah what's with the expose, mate?

pascale_leclerc The sweetest 🥰 I miss you both!

landonorris Get the podcast away from me I am being attacked by ants

yourusername you literally sent a question

---------

tagging: @slytherheign mwag

notes: this seemed like a cute idea sighs a love like this please 😴 lmk what u guys think!

#writtenbyrae #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc insta au #charles leclerc instagram imagine #charles leclerc social media au #charles leclerc x oc #charles leclerc x y/n #formula 1 #f1 #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #formula 1 insta au #formula 1 social media au #formula 1 instagram imagine #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc fanfic #f1 x oc #f1 x you #f1 x y/n #f1 fluff #f1 fic #formula 1 imagine

[venussaidso]

Vedic Astrology Observation (based on shows/films part 4)

I'm watching the series Archer and I guessed three main nakshatra archetypes correct! This includes Uttarabhadrapada, which is so potent in the two of the most prominent female characters in the main character's life.

First of all, this series is about espionage. So immediately, I know there are moon nakshatras. The main character, Sterling Archer, embodies lunar qualities: being a secret agent, going undercover, using disguises/aliases, trickery etc. etc.

Another hint that supported my theory of the character being lunar is how the fandom literally compare his character design to Henry Cavill who is a Shravana Moon.

As Henry Cavill is also famous for being in the espionage, spy film The Man From U.N.C.L.E.

Another hint is Archer being a huge fanboy for Burt Reynolds who he inspires after or quotes during his epic, spy missions. And Burt Reynolds is a Hasta Moon, Rohini Ascendant.

Burt Reynolds even guest starred in an episode as himself and we see our main character fanboying throughout.

Burt Reynolds is famous for his spy film Operation CIA in which he plays a CIA agent who is undercover as a university professor.

The character Sterling Archer has to be voiced by a moon nakshatra native, right?

Finally, I went out to find the voice actor and calculated his vedic chart. Thank goodness the guy has his birthtime available; and accurate, at that. And I guessed right!!! 😭👇🏼

Just like Henry Cavill, also Shravana, who was a highly voted candidate in the fandom to play the live-action version.

But, in the very beginning of watching this series, the character Sterling immediately struck me as a Sun nakshatra native. His inability to commit to a relationship or anything; having zero devotion to anything.

He improvises everything; not much of a planner which makes him come off more carefree. He is missing this cold, lunar quality to him of being a strategist or even just being highly intelligent. I've always believed that Sun men are quite... bimbos, to say the least. Claire Nakti explored this in her Sun dominant men video more articulately and respectfully; and Archer embodies this energy too.

So, in the beginning episodes of the series, I believed he was mainly Sun dominant before witnessing other aspects of the character expanding.

I also noticed that he is emotionally volatile and loud and extremely comedic, which is not really Solar or Lunar, but Rahuvian. And guess what? The voice actor is an Ardra Moon, which makes a lot of sense.

But, I was right, again, to assume him being a Sun nakshatra. Because the voice actor also has Krittika Sun. Ha!

The reason why his Sun nakshatra was more blatantly obvious in the beginning for me was because of his relationship with his ex girlfriend, Lana!

Lana, whose character design is quite literally inspired by Rihanna's physique.

Rihanna, who I personally believe is an Uttarabhadrapada Ascendant, as her birthtime is rated C (unlikely to be accurate). And even if you don't think she's Uttarabhadrapada, fine, but the character Lana is.

She is the Saturn nakshatra archetype.

She's very kickass, warrior-like and has a masculine edge— which are the type of characters usually played by Saturnians/Uttarabhadrapadas.

I immediately noticed with how she butts heads with Archer. Uttarabhadrapada is a nakshatra in which its women are known for emasculating other male archetypes/even going head to head with men ruled by fiery-hot planets such as the Sun. Their chemistry in the series is the epitome of the Saturn woman x Sun man pairing.

Sun and Saturn are literally mortal enemies.

But people with this planetary rulership tend to be intrigued by each other. It seems to be very similar to having an intense square synastry with someone, in my opinion, which might add sexual/romantic tension more often than not.

Archer's mother is another important female figure in his life who is also Uttarabhadrapada.

She's a hardened woman who is in charge of a spy agency, a masculine job, and she acts or looks very similar to characters such as 1996's Cruella Deville or Miranda Priestly (both also played by Saturn nakshatras; both characters' hair are pale white).

Malory Archer quite literally ruined her son's life since he was born; always emasculating him even in his adult life. She's had a very cold, (Saturn) oppressive nature towards him since he was young. Saturn nakshatras are either known to humiliate its natives, or natives under this nakshatra lord will further humiliate/abuse others into their cold grip.

A trope I've seen often with this nakshatra, which makes sense if you think of them being the literal ice dragon.

I immediately noticed that she is Uttarabhadrapada not just from her masculine, commanding role in the series— but from the outfits she wears in every episode. She's always wearing cold colours, especially powder blue.

Uttarabhadrapada characters almost always have something significant that is coloured blue, which you'll always associate with the character; as Claire Nakti brilliantly pointed out in her Uttarabhadrapada video. And that's how I knew.

And her relationship with Lana, who is also very Uttarabhadrapada coded, is interesting. The same way Sun men tend to respect each other and always find each other from across the room, Saturn women always have a quiet air of respect for each other's strength.

The first time Malory met Lana, she pointed a gun to her head and Lana stubbornly stood her ground. It was like Malory immediately recognized herself in Lana. She was so impressed by her that she hired her to work at her agency as a top spy, just like that.

I was so certain that they were Uttarabhadrapadas and finally had the courage to check their charts AND I WAS RIGHT! Both voice actors are Uttarabhadrapadas!!

Their dynamic features this very Ascendant-Moon synastry — I definitely couldn't have guessed that one. This synastry quite literally demonstrates seeing yourself (Moon) in someone else (the Ascendent person). I've been very into studying synastries lately and it's always interesting how it plays out.

Anyway, now it makes sense why Sterling has a connection with Lana. Even though Lana isn't half as worse as Malory, I've always noticed their similarities. Like Lana, Malory used to be a kickass, spy lady before Sterling was born. They both have very sharp, stern personalities and are frequently annoyed by Sterling's existence. And in Sterling's case, it is true that you'll subconsciously seek out traits in a partner that are similar to your parent's.

Also, Sterling's unhealthy relationship with women & sex (unsuccessfully) fills up the empty hole inside of him that was supposed to be nourished by his mother's love as a child. This makes him fearful of intimacy and closeness, which is common with Sun nakshatra natives.

Malory's neglect is still a running gag in the series — she's emotionally hardened which is a prominent theme for Uttarabhadrapada (especially for the female natives). Being the middle nakshatra in the Pisces segment, it truly is the only Pisces that can struggle with intimacy, vulnerability or melancholic fluff. Which makes sense as Saturn is there. Luckily in Revati, there is more freedom and unrestrained expansion. There is a reason why Venus exalts in 27° of Pisces, where Revati lies. Revati is everything love and philosophical. Uttarabhadrapada isn't always comfortable expressing sentimentality, as they tend to be very self-restraint or outwardly hardened.

Anyway. I'm not done with the characters. I'll make a part 2 once I have the energy.

Ugh I'm sooo good at guessing nakshatras! LMAOO 😭

Especially moon nakshatras. I'm still so intrigued by moon men.

#vedic astrology #sidereal astrology #hasta #shravana #rohini #virgo #Taurus #vedic observation #sidereal observation #astro observations #astro observation #astrology #astrology observation #nakshatra rambles #nakshatra series #pushya #cancer #uttara bhadrapada #Pisces #revati

[ilovepedro]

let’s get outta here, baby | frankies morales x f!reader

Valentine’s masterlist | Main masterlist | Palestine

Please take some time to go through the Palestine links. If you enjoy my writing, I ask you to help Palestine in any way you can.

Rating: 18+ MDNI

Word count: ~2.5k

Summary: Frankie whisks you away on Valentine’s Day for a romantic evening secluded by the water.

Warnings: established relationship, exhibitionism, oral (f!receiving), face riding, unprotected PIV (wrap it up y’all), creampie, fluff, pet names (baby, hermosa, querida, amor) after care, reader has no description, no mention of hair type/body type/skin color, NO USE OF Y/N.

A/N: let’s try this again. happy frankie friday! oh how i missed my Frankie so much omg 😭 he and Javi are tied for my favorite Pedro boys tbh. i love love love him sm. anyway, i hope y’all enjoy!! as always, not beta’d - all mistakes are my own. 🏃‍♀️

Translations: Te amo = I love you

Divider by @saradika-graphics

“Come on, baby. Get dressed, we have plans,” he said.

“Where are we going, Frankie? I just got comfy, plus I thought we were gonna stay in and watch a movie or a few episodes of our show?” You pout, already snuggled in on the couch, lounging in your leggings and one of Frankie’s hoodies.

“I know, but I thought we could do something else tonight. And what you’re wearing is actually perfect, just throw on some comfy shoes. I promise it’s nothing crazy. Now come on. Let’s get outta here, baby,” he says, car keys in hand as he extends a hand to you.

That was 2 hours ago, his left hand drumming on the steering wheel to the music that plays throughout the speaker, his right hand resting on your thigh, giving it an occasional squeeze.

After the two of you worked crazy hours the past week, work had finally given you a deserved day off, and it just so happened to be Valentine’s Day. Frankie opted to use his sick hours, giving you two the whole day to yourselves. You’d craved to sit at home and wait for your boyfriend to get home to enjoy a romantic evening at home with him.

Frankie had other plans it seems.

Your hand rests atop his, fiddling with his fingers as you hum along to the music. The road winds along the coast, the rind of clouds floating in the tangerine sky. reflecting off the water. Traffic was a bit heavy, but Frankie said it didn’t matter what time you two made it to the location, that it’d be open. 

Pulling up to a hill, Frankie drives upwards. Your brows furrow in confusion, head snapping to gaze at your boyfriend. He pulls his hand from your thigh as he maneuvers the car up the hill, a smirk playing on his lips.

“Where are you taking me, Francisco?” You playfully question him. 

“I told you, it’s a surprise, baby. You’ll see,” he says smugly. Jokingly scrutinizing him, you cross your arms and hum. 

Soon enough, he pulls the car to a stop and cuts the engine. He’s parked on a cliff overlooking the coast, the waves crashing in the background. Crickets chirping and a brisk breeze blows through the air. Frankie rushes out of the car and to the trunk.

“Don’t look back here yet, querida!” He shouts. He’d told you the same thing before you’d left, covering your eyes as he helped you in the truck and blocking off the backseat with some blankets. You hear Frankie grunting and shuffling around the trunk, smiling softly to yourself at the thought of him all flustered. 

“Need any help, baby?” You yell over the commotion. You’re met with a few more grunts and can feel Frankie crawling in the trunk.

What the hell is he doing?

Popping up in your peripheral, you jump slightly as he stands there - his cheeks flushed as he takes off his cap and runs a hand through his hair before putting it back on.

“Come on, querida,” he says, his hand extended awaiting your grasp. A suspicious smirk tugs at your lips, brows scrunched in question. He leads you to the rear of the truck, the trunk door open. Pillows and blankets strewn about the truck bed, a cooler and his laptop lay on the floor.

Gasping at the sight in front of you, tears spring in your eyes. You whirl around, hands still entwined as a cheek-splitting smile crinkles your face.

“Frankie. You did all this for me?” You ask quietly, Frankie mirroring your smile. 

“Of course, querida. I know we said no gifts this year and we wanted to stay in with work being hectic for both of us, but you still deserve something.” His voice growing hushed and timid, his free hand fidgeting as his neck flushes red. Smiling even bigger, you throw your arms around his broad shoulders, looping them around his neck and crash your lips onto his. Frankie cups your cheeks as you two smile into each other, soft laughter bubbling from both of you.

“You are the sweetest man alive, Francisco Morales,” you whisper, disconnecting from him. His cheeks flush with heat. “I don’t know about all that, querida,” he rasps against your lips, grinning bashfully.

“You are, Frankie. This is perfect. Thank you for this, amor - for loving me. I love you,” you utter sweetly, threading your fingers through his curls and giving his head an affectionate, gentle scratch.

“No need to thank me, baby. Loving you is the best decision I’ve ever made. I love you - so much, hermosa,” he affirms, his voice growing huskier. He stealthily sneaks his hands down your back, resting them on the globes of your ass. He leans in, capturing your lips in another tender kiss.

The tenderness doesn’t last long though as the kiss blossoms into something hungrier, thick with lust. Frankie walks you backwards towards the truck bed, carefully helping you inside.

Only breaking for air to scoot back and settle into the makeshift mattress. He slowly settles you on your back against the plush padding of the blankets and pillows. Yanking him down for another hungry kiss, moans and sighs grow louder. The area is so secluded, no one is around to hear.

He slides his tongue into your mouth, tongues entangled and teeth clashing together. Moaning into him, he brings his rough, warm hands to cup your cheeks, sucking your bottom lip in between his teeth.

“Frankie,” you moan softly, parting from his lips, panting. Frankie suckles on your neck, moving his way to nip at your jaw. Kissing his way down your body, you moan quietly when he presses a kiss above your clothed mound.

“Can I take these off, hermosa?” He asks softly, toying with the hem of your leggings. You nod, whimpering as he slides them off, not wasting a second. Peppering kisses along your bare thighs, you squirm beneath him - desperate for his mouth.

“Need to taste you, baby,” he rasps, kissing your mound before slipping off your panties, tossing them to the side to join your leggings. You lift your hips, aiding him in the process and lay back down as he licks his lips. Eyes blown black and wild, eager and hungry for you. The feel of his lips against your bare sex earns him a whine, a desperate plea for more.

“I got you, querida,” he grits, diving in and licking a long, languid stripe between your folds, moaning into you as he savors the sweet, salty tang of your slick. Moaning at the feeling of his hot mouth on your aching core, you tug on his soft curls. Frankie grunts into you, always loving the way you grip his hair, holding onto him for purchase as he unravels you.

A wanton moan tumbles from your lips, slick endlessly streaming from your weeping cunt as Frankie slurps up every droplet. Your back arching further into the air as your head sinks deeper into the plush mountain of pillows and blankets on the truck bed.

“So fucking good, Frankie, fuck, yes, baby." Your moans bloom into a cry as Frankie abruptly stops, pulling away and sitting up. His cheeks sticky with your nectar, and his eyes black and wild - vehement. He sits up against the pillows, bringing you to sit up with him.

“Wh-what? No, Frankie, please why’d you st-,” you whine, until Frankie cuts you off with his rough grasp. He drags you up his chest, leaving a trail of slick on his belly and broad chest, before coming face-to-face with your dripping cunt - groaning at the sight of your swollen clit. Without a word, he forces you to sit on his face, his strong nose nudging at your clit as his tongue prods in and out of your entrance.

Sucking in a sharp gasp, you clutch his curls, the new position throwing you off-kilter. Gasps morph into uncontrollable moans as he grips your thighs tightly, your hips rocking into his face. His tongue flicks your precious pearl swirling frantic circles around your clit before wrapping his lips around your swollen bud.

“Oh my god, oh my fucking god, Frankie,” you keen, your orgasm rapidly approaching - taunting you on a precipice that’s just within reach. Frankie moaning below you, the vibrations sending jolts of electricity throughout your entire body. 

You glance down with glazed eyes, catching a glimpse of him drunk off your pussy. Eyes shut in bliss, cheeks flushed and shiny, his scruff burning your thighs, curls disheveled as he moans while working his skillful tongue. It pushes you further to the edge, wailing above him as you cant your hips harder into his face.

“Yes, yes, yes, Frankie! Oh fuck, Frankie! I’m gonna come, I’m gonna - oh fuck!”

Twitching and writhing above him, he releases your clit from his lips and licks another long stripe through your folds before relentlessly flicking at your precious swollen bud again.

“Frankie, oh fuck! Frankie, Frankie, Frankie!”

You crumble, your body nearly folding in on itself as your orgasm sets your body aflame, rutting your hips into your boyfriend’s face. Screaming his name as you ride out your orgasm. Your heartbeat thrumming in your ears like the waves crashing in the ocean nearby.

As the rush of your orgasm slows, Frankie wastes no time to slide you off his face, licking his lips and eyes wide and feral. Your legs tremble as he settles you atop his stomach. The trail of hair brushing against your sensitive clit, hissing at the sensation.

Frankie grunts with his bottom lip sucked in between his teeth as he hastily fiddles with his belt, unbuttoning his jeans and yanking his briefs and pants down in one go.

“Need to be inside you, querida,” he grits. You love seeing him so needy, desperate - so wild. He drags you down his stomach, his weeping cock brushes against your folds - guttural moans bouncing off the confines of the truck. He lifts your hips slightly, just enough to slide you down on his cock. Your mouth agape in a perfect O as you slowly sink onto his heavy, hard length. Filling you to the brim, fluttering around him as he twitches inside of you.

“Frankie, s-so full,” you whisper, voice pitchy and desperate. He groans as you clench around him. 

“Fuck, don’t do that, hermosa. Or else this’ll end before it starts.”

He slowly grinds his hips, pushing his cock deeper into you. Shuddering as he feels impossibly deep, taking him is never an easy feat, but the reward is priceless. The stretch aches deliciously as he splits you open.

You slowly grind your hips into his, meeting him with his thrusts. Moans stream from your lips, an endless river of Frankie Frankie Frankie. Your orgasm cresting, the sensitivity still prevalent from the one he gave you just minutes ago. Lifting off him with what little strength you have, you slam your hips back down onto him.

The stretch of his cock makes your eyes roll to the back of your head as you sink back down onto him. He hits that spot just right as he fucks up into you.

“Sweetest fucking pussy ever. Mine, it's all mine, huh, querida? Who does this pussy belong to?” He grits, his hips canting upwards, thrusts growing sloppier every time.

“Y-yours, Frankie! 'S all yours, I'm all yours,” you slur, vision growing spotty.

“‘S right, baby. You're mine. All fucking mine," he moans, his cock punching your g-spot hard, wailing at the feel of him.

“Frankie! Oh god, Frankie,” you keen, bracing yourself on his clothed chest as he fucks you as if his life depends on it.

“Come on, querida. Come for me, you’re so close. Squeezing me so goddamn tight. Let go, baby. Soak my cock, baby, need you to soak my cock, querida,” he babbles, fighting off his own orgasm as you reach the top of yours.

His words send you crashing into your second orgasm, screaming as he fucks you through it. His own resolve crumbles as he watches you squirm and feels you squeeze around him.

Your hearing muffled as your orgasm drags you under the waves, you hear Frankie shout strings of profanities as you feel his cum coat your fluttering walls. The two of you ride out your highs together.

Your vision hazy, covered in a thick fog of bliss as you float back to the surface of reality from the waves of your orgasm. You collapse on his chest, the two of you full clothed, save for your bottoms. Laying on him for a moment, silence hangs in the cool air as you two catch your breath.

He traces patterns on your lower back, huffing as he regains control of himself. His rapid heartbeat returns to a steady thrum, calming your senses. Sex and sweat coats your bodies and the air in the trunk.

Carefully flipping you onto your back, he slips out of you slowly, hissing in tandem at the loss. He grabs one of the extra blankets he packed from the floor and wipes off the combination of his cum and your slick between your thighs. He cleans himself up before tossing the blanket on the floor behind the passenger seat.

Sitting up, you slide your leggings back on, forgoing your panties. Frankie tosses his belt off to the side and pulls his jeans up, leaving the button undone.

“You okay, baby?” He asks, sitting beside you.

Always a gentleman, always checking in with you. 

Bringing a hand to his cheek, you smile at him with heavy eyes. 

“I’m good, baby. Thank you,” you whisper. He smiles, placing a tender kiss on your palm before he lays beside you. 

“I am a little hungry now though. You didn’t tell me we’d be on the road for so long and doing strenuous activities,” you joke. His chest rumbles while he chuckles heartily.

“I didn’t expect to be doing any strenuous activities either… well, at least not so soon into our date.”

“At least wine and dine me first, Morales,” you giggle. He nips at your neck, your giggles blossoming into a belly laugh.

“Come on, amor. Let’s eat. Gotta make sure my girl is ready for round two when we get home,” he says with a wink. He sits up, pulling you up with him. You rearrange the padding and pull up a movie on his laptop as he digs for something in the cooler. 

He pulls out two beers, his toothy grin making you smile. Cracking open two beers, he hands you one and settles back on the fort. He throws a blanket over you two as you snuggle into his side, clinking your bottles together in a silent toast, grinning from ear to ear.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, hermosa. Te amo, baby,” Frankie rasps against your head, pressing a soft kiss to your hairline. Gazing up at him, eyelids droopy with love and admiration. You capture his lips in a sweet, chaste kiss as he pulls you in closer, squeezing you tight.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, mi amor. Te amo también.”

tag list: @honeyedmiller @gracieheartspedro @nostalxgic @harriedandharassed @loliwrites @pedrostories

#happy frankie friday #frankie morales #frankie morales x reader #frankie morales x f!reader #frankies morales x female reader #frankie catfish morales #francisco catfish morales #triple frontier #frankie triple frontier #frankie morales fanfiction #frankie morales fic #frankie morales fluff #frankie morales smut #ilovepedro valentine’s day series

[halsteadlover]

Spaces Between Us

*Gif not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Female!Reader.

• Requested: yes by anon.

• Summary: you and Jay break up and it’s the hardest thing you’ve even been through. Is it forever over or will you be able to overcome the difficulties?

• Warnings: LOTS of angst and cursing, use of alcohol, slight mention of blood and dead body (it’s not important for the plot but still), I don’t know if there’s anything else please let me know if I missed any <3

• Word count: 19k. Yeah… I know.

• A/N: I’VE NEVER BEEN SO STRESSED OUT FOR A FIC I SWEAR IT’S LIKE IT HAD TO PAY MY BILLS SO PLS BLOW THIS UP. I’m kidding (no I’m not ) but jokes aside, I hope you’ll like this fic even if still shitting bricks at the thought you’ll gonna hate it 😭 so please let me know what do you think and give me any advice if you want. I’m sorry for any mistakes and just so you know this fic dramatic as fuck lol. I love you all and thank you so much I know nobody is gonna read this, like I haven’t already written enough okay bye ❤️

Anyone who tells you that getting together with your best friend is simple because you know each other very well, don't trust them, it's complete bullshit.

And you had unfortunately learned this the hard way.

You really thought your relationship with Jay would be amazing to say the least, the first few months being pure heaven. You were very happy, you sprayed joy from every pore and anyone who met you could notice the toothy smile you continually had on your face.

You thought you knew Jay perfectly and that he knew you perfectly. After all you had been friends for so many years before getting together which is why you believed you knew everything about him, strengths and weaknesses, and he knew the same about you.

Unfortunately, however, this wasn’t true at all and you soon realized reality was very different from what you thought, being in a relationship with someone was totally different from being their friend. When you’re in a relationship you see that person differently, that person becomes the center of your thoughts, and everything they say and do have a weight on you whether you like it or not, you start to analyze everything with different eyes, you pay more attention to details, and you don't miss things that you wouldn't notice with a friend.

And that was exactly what happened with Jay.

You and him had been together for about six months when you started to notice something that among other things slowly took a big toll on you.

Given the nature of your jobs – him being a detective and you being a firefighter – there were times where you weren't able to spend much time together. He never let a minute pass without sending you a sweet text telling you how much he missed you and how much he wanted to be with you, but when it was time to see each other he sometimes preferred to go to Molly's with his friends.

Of course there was nothing wrong with that and you yourself told him to go, but when you started to notice this happened very frequently, taking time away from the two of you, you started to show him your discomfort.

You never wanted to create arguments, you just tried to communicate with him and express something that was starting to weigh on you but he didn't take it that way and a big argument were created from this. You knew Jay, you knew he was the type of person to keep everything inside, to not express his feelings right away, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt you. He accused you of alienating yourself from him, telling you he’d invite you to go with him when he went to Molly's and you were just being dramatic.

You tried to let it go for the sake of the relationship, trying to swallow the lump and think he wasn't doing it on purpose.

But from this episode everything started to go downhill.

When you were with him at the bar, or somewhere else, with his colleagues or friends you couldn't help but notice the way he and his colleague, Hailey, were particularly close. You tried not to let your mind wander, not to listen to your paranoid thoughts but when all you did was see the way they laughed and joked you couldn't keep the jealousy that gripped your stomach at bay.

You had known her since she joined Intelligence. You always knew they were good friends but since you got with Jay you couldn't help but wonder if their relationship had always been like this or if you saw it differently now just because you were in a relationship with him.

As with everything else, you started asking him questions about her and things like that and he didn't think much of it at first but when he started noticing the insistent way Hailey had become involved in your conversations, it started to bother him.

He had tried to reassure you, to tell you there was nothing going on with her but it wasn't enough, since he said the same thing to you too and yet you ended up together. But other than simple phrases and some sweet words thrown into the wind, he didn't seem to do anything to convince you otherwise.

You had never been the jealous type of person, you both had your own circle of friends, but the way Hailey always seemed to be up his ass, bothered you more than you’d never admit.

One evening, after work, you joined Jay at Molly's where you knew he had met with his colleagues and other friends. A strange sensation gripped your stomach as you tried to convince yourself it was only tiredness but inside you knew what the real reason for that anxiety was.

You hoped until the last minute to not see her there, you knew it was wrong, but you didn't want to be in her presence and you didn't want Jay to be either. But when you entered the bar and from afar you saw him and her sitting at the same table, that hope was destroyed in a second.

Jay looked up from her and immediately saw you walk in and a huge smile spread across his face as he waved his hand towards you. You approached the table, greeting everyone with a smile anyone from a mile away could tell was very fake.

“Hi baby, you're finally here.”

Jay stood up and hugged you tightly to his body. You returned that hug, your heart pounding in your chest even though you couldn't just let yourself go completely.

He let go of you and to your surprise pressed his lips to yours in a sweet, chaste kiss, eliciting a series of small squeals and whistles from the table. You giggled and, cheeks burning, went to sit next to Jay on the chair he had kept free for you.

A small smile – this time sincere – appeared on your lips. Jay wasn't the type of person who made sensational or dramatic gestures, he was a rather private person but when it came to you he didn't care about these things, he was very physical and always needed to have you close, to have a hand on you and feel your warmth in a way or another.

But, let's just face it, you loved that gesture mostly because he did it in front of Hailey and the territorial, irrational part of you was doing backflips.

God I don't recognize myself anymore.

“How was work? Wait, first tell me what you want to drink so I can order it for you,” Jay said immediately, an arm around your waist as he looked at you with a sweet smile on his lips. He didn't let you answer though. “You're so beautiful baby, you know that?”.

You giggled like a schoolgirl – being careful to let everyone hear you – and delicately smacking his chest before awkwardly resting your head on his shoulder, trying to hide the bright blush on your cheeks.

He laughed back and left a kiss on your forehead and that was enough to calm you down, to convince yourself he loved you, that he only wanted you, or else he wouldn't have acted so affectionately in front of her.

“What are you drinking?” You asked, feeling his arm move up from your side around your shoulders.

At that same moment a sudden flash blinded both of you for a second and as you looked up you noticed Adam taking photos of you and Jay with his cell phone with a huge grin plastered on his face.

“Ruzek what the fuck!” Jay exclaimed even though he was actually laughing. He paused and then continued, “Make sure to send us those pics man.”

You burst out laughing and at that same moment, while everyone was joking around and making fun of you and Jay, but you couldn't help but glance at Hailey and notice the way her face was twisted into a serious expression while pretending to play along.

You tried not to think much of it, but it disturbed you, because it was just further evidence she had an interest in Jay that went beyond work.

“So tell me about your day baby,” Jay brought his attention back to you when the others finally decided to give both you and him some spite.

“It went well, we only had one intervention. A man stuck in a car after a car accident,” you sipped some of his beer, earning a fake look of disappointment from him, “Really bad story, but everything went well, he survived and they managed to get him to Med's in time.”

“Just because you were there, love.”

“Kiss-ass,” You rolled your eyes, giggling. “How about you? Something interesting happened?”.

What you didn't expect was for Hailey to answer for him, as if she was listening to your conversation the whole time and was just waiting for the moment to intervene. “Oh my god today was hectic. We busted a drug trade. You should’ve seen it Y/n! Jay faced I don't know how many traffickers alone! Come on Jay, tell her!”.

You tried to keep your expression as neutral as possible as you directed your gaze towards her, noticing the way she suddenly perked up and how she looked at your boyfriend.

Did she seriously intruded while you were only talking to him?

Jay on the other hand didn't notice this attitude and laughed with Hailey as they started joking about what had happened that day. They made jokes, laughed as if it was just the two of them and the way his attention had completely shifted towards her caused you quite a bit of annoyance.

You remained silent as you pretended to listen to what they were saying, trying to bite your tongue and not say anything about the fact she was practically hanging on his lips and licking his ass as she praised him.

This was enough to knock your mood into the ground and throw you back into the spiral of paranoid thoughts you managed to keep at bay for a moment.

You hated the way he joked with her, the way they laughed together. Fuck it, he didn't have to feed her illusion and you couldn't even accept how he couldn't see she was blatantly flirting with him.

Your hands were shaking with anger but you wanted to act like a mature person, you wanted to try to stay calm and not let your emotions get the better of you.

“I think I’ll leave now. Jay, can you give me a ride home please? I didn’t came here with my car”.

What? Did I hear that correctly?

You almost had a heart attack, anger now flowing through your veins.

How could she be so bold? Did she forget you were there too?

“Sure, no problem,” was Jay's response and you almost smashed his head on the table. You looked at him in dismay, now unable to keep calm and act like a mature person.

“Jay do I have to remind you I'm here? You’re really going?” you spoke as he was getting up. He looked at you with an apologetic smile, completely unaware of the fact you were furious. You didn't care if they heard you, you didn't care about making a scene.

“But I'm not leaving baby, I'll just take her home and come right back here.” He pressed a kiss to your lips before leaving the bar with her.

You were so angry you couldn't say anything except watch them from afar.

You couldn't believe it.

This was fucking unbelievable.

You looked from the now closed door to Adam, who was sitting in front of you looking at you with frowning eyes and a surprised and confused expression.

“Wow…” you managed to let out, the humiliation forcing you to run your hands over your face for a moment, elbows resting on the table.

“Hey it's okay, calm down,” he tried to reassure you.

“Adam am I seeing things? Is this just my imagination?” You looked at him, still stunned.

He didn't respond but shook his head slightly, effectively answering your question. “But not from his side,” he pointed out “He only has eyes for you Y/n, believe me, but I can't deny this shit isn’t ridiculous.”

“I'm going home.” You blurted out, standing up and not listening to Adam, and then Kim, who tried to calm you down and convince you to stay.

But you couldn't think straight, not at that moment.

Your boyfriend had left you at a bar to give a ride to the female colleague who was actually crazy about him in a way everyone had noticed except for him, without even trying to ask if you wanted to go too or if it was okay with you.

You were so angry, so furious as you had been a few other times in your life, wanting nothing more than to smash something. You hated her, you hated him, you hated yourself for feeling that way.

You hated everything.

When Jay returned to Molly's after about twenty minutes, confusion appeared on his face as he immediately noticed you were no longer sitting at the table as he expected. He approached his friends, not ignoring the dirty looks they gave him.

“Where is Y/n?”.

Kim glared at him, making no effort to show the irritation towards him. “She's gone.”

“What? Why?”.

“Why? Are you fucking serious Jay?” Adam intervened, causing an even more confused expression to appear on his friend's face. His heart was pounding as he thought of every scenario, thinking you hadn't been feeling well.

“What's going on guys?”.

“You're so damn stupid,” Kevin scolded him, sharing the thoughts of his friends. “That was fucked up man.”

“What part of your brain convinced you that taking another woman – who casually has a crush on you – to her house and leaving your girlfriend here was a good idea? Do you understand how absurd this is? She was more mature than me, I would’ve kicked you in your balls,” Kim continued.

Fucking hell.

He realized he screwed everything up really, really badly this time. Without responding to those words, he immediately ran out of the bar, intending to rush to your house.

That night he tried to apologize and make up for it but you didn't want to talk about it and closed the door in his face when he showed up at your house. You didn't care if you seemed exaggerated, or even crazy, you didn't want to give in and you weren't going to let him disrespect you like that.

You completely ignored him for two days, not responding to any of his calls or texts, still too angry to seek a mature confrontation. When you thought you had calmed down, the memory of Jay leaving the bar with Hailey was enough to make you go back to being even more furious than before.

You understood the problem you had was much deeper than you would’ve ever wanted to admit and what hurt you most was not being understood by him.

You spoke with an open heart, you shouted at him and he understood the mistake he had made, promising you he’d try to fix it and stay away from these situations.

This wasn't the case though, in fact this was just one of numerous arguments you and Jay had over the topic of ‘Hailey’. You didn't feel reassured and his attitude did nothing but fuel your unease, making you feel even crazier than you thought.

On the other hand, you understood he too must have gotten tired of arguing about the same things so this contributed to making your relationship with him deteriorate considerably, the lack of trust he perceived made everything even worse.

The breaking point, however, came one morning and from there nothing was the same as before.

That morning you woke up to Jay's cell phone ringing. You had spent the night before together as he stayed over.

“Jay…” you murmured in your sleep, covering your ears to stop hearing that damn ringing. “Who the hell calls this early?”.

Jay removed the arm wrapped around your hip and let out a groan before propping himself up on his elbow and picking up his cell phone, answering the call without even checking who it was. “Halstead”.

You couldn't hear who it was but you turned to him, now giving him your full attention, wide awake.

“Oh yeah I forgot…” he said, rubbing a hand over his face before taking the cell phone away from his ear for a moment and checking the time “Yeah… I know it’s late. I’ll be there in half an hour. Okay. See you later.”

He ended the call before placing his phone on the nightstand and sighing.

“Who was it?” You asked as he stood up.

“I forgot I have breakfast with Hailey…”

Just hearing that name was enough to make your blood boil.

What the fuck?

You couldn't stand her anymore, why was she always around? Why did she always have to interfere? And why the fuck did Jay always have to run to her?

“Jay are you fucking serious?” You exploded, hair standing on end in anger as you jumped up from the bed.

He picked up his pants from the floor, starting to put them on and button them. “I know baby, but I completely forgot it but it's for work I swear or…”

“Work? What kind of ‘work’ is necessary for you to go have breakfast with her? You really think I'm that stupid Jay?!”

“Of course not! What the hell are you even talking about Y/n? I wouldn't even have told you if I had something to hide!”.

“Do you realize what you're doing? Do you realize how you always run to her every time she calls you?! You were in bed with me just five seconds ago and now you're going to her!”.

“I just told you it's for work! We have to go on an undercover mission and we just need to discuss the details Y/n stop implying things that don’t even exist!”.

You ran your hands over your face, frustrated and angry as ever as you watched him put on the shirt.

“Work doesn't tell you to always be up her ass Jay!”.

He looked at you like you had just grown a second head after hearing one of the craziest things in his life. “What the fuck are you even saying? Do you hear yourself when you talk? You realize how ridiculous that sounds? I don’t care about her why are you saying this?!”.

“And of course I'm ridiculous now, great! My boyfriend gets out of bed to go have breakfast with someone else he knew I fucking despise and I'm ridiculous! I'm fucking tired of this relationship and I'm fucking tired of always having her around Jay what the fuck can’t you understand that?!”.

Your words hit him like a tsunami.

I’m tired of this relationship.

Jay felt a sinking sensation in his chest, as if all the air had suddenly been sucked from his lungs. He was silent for a moment, his jaw clenched as he tried not to let the pain caused by those few simple word overwhelm him.

“You’re tired Y/n? You’re fucking tired?!” He almost shouted. “How the fuck do you think I feel when all we talk about is Hailey? You don't talk about anything else! You don't realize how obsessed you have become!”.

“Don't you dare blame me!” You yelled furiously through clenched teeth, pointing a finger at him as you continued to look at each other as if you were both ready to jump on your necks. Your eyes glare at the other, sending lightning and bolts full of anger and resentment. “We wouldn't be in this fucking situation if you had shown me some respect, if you had set boundaries with her! You seem to care more about her than me! Jesus, you know how all this shit makes me feel, you know how much all of this hurts me but you don't seem to give a fuck!”.

“That’s absolutely unbelievable, I can’t even believe how you’re doubting my feeling for you, how can you say something like that? I only have eyes for you Y/n! The whole world knows it, everyone sees it except you! You’re just choosing to let your weird obsession take over everything else.”

“Maybe you’re just shit at proving it because trust me leaving your fucking girlfriend to go have breakfast with another woman doesn’t seem a great way to show her your love!”

“Are you fucking serious right now?”. He clenched his hands into fists to try to maintain the tiny bit of calm he had left, pressing his nails hard against the skin of his palms to vent his anger.

“Yes Jay, I'm fucking serious!”.

“What the fuck are you doing with me then if that's what you think?! Since apparently I can't give you anything and you’re so fucking ungrateful you can't see the good things I do for you!”.

“What the fuck are you doing Jay huh?! Tell me! Is going to Hailey as soon as she calls you a good thing you do for me? Is this how you do it? Flash news my dear, that's not how this fucking works!”.

“I'm not fucking doing anything that’s the damn point! How the hell am I supposed to tell you she's just a colleague and I don't give a shit about her or anyone else but you! Why the fuck do you have so little faith in me!”.

“Because I don't trust you Jay! You really think an ‘I love you’ thrown in every now and then and a bouquet of flowers will fix everything? No it doesn't work like that, you don't solve the problems by just showing a fake reassurance that only lasts a couple of days!”.

“I will have to model myself for her majesty then, to be at her complete pleasure since…-”

You interrupted him. “For fucks sake Jay stop playing the victim! You don't get to do it, you have no right! You're the one going somewhere else what the fuck do you expect from me? Waiting for you with open arms? I'm not ungrateful, maybe you're just a shitty ass boyfriend who can't show me that he cares about me!” You screamed, throwing out everything you had kept inside for a long, long time, regardless of the destroyed and furious expression with which he was looking at you. “You show no respect for me, for my feelings, you don't give a fuck about what I tell you and that’s not even the first time I’m telling you this! It's not the first time I've told you how much this situation hurts me!”.

“Didn't it cross your mind, Y/n, that maybe you're the fucking problem here? That you're so fucking obsessed with that bitch you can't see anything else? That you're just a fucking child and all you can do is whine and whine and whine! You're making my life a living hell with your luck of trust! Every fucking day is a fight about something! You're always so needy, nothing is ever okay with you! Everything I do is wrong!”.

You took a step back at the sound of those words, as if to create a distance between you two. A pain radiated through your chest as your eyes stung while you continued to look at him. You fought with all your being not to let it go, you refused to cry in front of him.

You had come to the realization that maybe you weren't meant to be together, that taking your friendship to the next step was a mistake, you shouldn't have let your feelings get in the way and in that moment you realized that nothing between you would ever be the same.

You looked at each other, furious, both hurt by the words you had said. You looked at each other as if you didn't know each other, as if you were each other's worst enemy and this broke your heart.

“Get the fuck out of my house.” You ordered in a low, trembling tone, a stark contrast to the screams that had been filling the room just moments before. “It's over.”

Did he hear that right?

It’s over.

He was shocked. Getting hit by a bullet would’ve hurt less. He never once thought in his life that hearing you say those words would hurt so damn much, he actually never thought he’d hear those words at all. He swallowed the lump in his throat, suddenly feeling it close and his breath catch, his eyes filling with tears.

“Get out!” You screamed again, your voice cracking from crying. You turned to the window, hands on your face as you waited for him to leave.

You didn't want to see him anymore.

You didn't want him there anymore.

You jumped when you heard the front door slam shut, making a deafening noise. At that precise moment you felt as if all your strength had abandoned your limbs and you fell to the ground, bringing your legs to your chest and crying like you had never done before.

You tried to think through everything that had happened.

You and Jay broke up.

You couldn't believe it, although you knew that moment would come sooner or later.

You had just broke up with the love of your life and felt like the world was collapsing on you. You never wanted it to come to this, damn it, that man was the most beautiful person you'd ever met, you imagined your whole life with him, how could it all be over? How did you end up like this?

Why couldn’t he understand you? Why didn't he try to do it? Why couldn't he see how much you were hurting and how much it hurt to not see any reassurance from him? After all this was what you wanted, just a little reassurance.

You hated him and you hated yourself because despite everything you would’ve taken a bullet rather than see him suffer but you had reached breaking point, you couldn't continue like that.

You loved him so damn much and hated him with same intensity.

You cried all the tears you had in your body, until it was physically impossible for you to expel any more and you remained in that position, sitting on the ground for a time you couldn't quantify.

However, you knew that unfortunately you couldn't stay there forever and that, despite your broken heart, you had a job to do.

As soon as you set foot in the fire station all your colleagues immediately noticed something was wrong. Your eyes were puffy, visible from a mile away even though you were staring at the ground, your posture tense.

You went to your locker and put down the bag with your things inside it, trying with all your being not to cry again. You were at work, you had to be efficient and personal problems had to be left out.

“Y/n, honey, are you okay?” Stella's voice caught your attention but you didn't look at her, you couldn't do it or you would’ve collapsed. You were holding on to the only bit of strength you had to keep from bursting into tears.

“I’m fine.“

“It doesn't seem like it…”

“I'm fine dammit!” You exclaimed loudly, slamming your locker shut and making her jump in fright. You looked at her and a wave of guilt washed over you. “I'm sorry Stel-…” your voice broke as you burst into tears, covering your face with your hands so she wouldn't look at you.

She immediately hugged you and you cried in her arms as she held you and reassured you with all the warmth and affection she had. “Oh darling it's okay, you're not alone, everything will be okay.” She caressed your back and then your hair, while you let yourself go for the second time in less than an hour into one of the most desperate cry of your existence.

Your heart felt torn, completely shattered, as if they had taken it from your chest with their bare hands and dug their nails into it.

“It's okay, I'm here with you, cry as long as you want.”

You had an abyss inside, a storm that was overwhelming you painfully like you never thought it was possible. You didn't believe it was possible to feel such pain, you didn't believe you could even think of suffocating.

And if you were desperate, Jay had reacted in a totally different way.

He was furious.

So angry.

He had never felt something like this, he thought he might explode with anger.

He was angry at you, at himself, at the whole entire world.

It was as if something had flipped a switch inside him, because he could no longer think clearly. After leaving your apartment he didn't know how he managed to get back to his house without getting into an accident, all the way his body was driving but his soul seemed lost, his mind elsewhere.

He slammed the door so hard the noise reverberated throughout the house.

What the fuck had happened? How the fuck did you get to that point? How did you two manage to go from sleeping together the previous night to breaking up the next morning?

It's over.

Your words continued to echo in his brain, repeating over and over again as if he was listening to a broken record.

How could you have done that? How could you have left him?

He was so fucking furious.

“Fuck!” He screamed at the top of his lungs, not even caring if the neighbors could hear him. He would’ve punched anyone who dared to approach him at that moment.

He didn't know how or when it had happened but in the grip of blind fury he found himself breaking any object he came across, throwing vases against the wall, chairs, glasses, anything. The deafening silence in that apartment was broken only by the sound of his heavy and uncontrolled breathing mixed with the crashing of objects against the walls.

This wasn't enough though, he wasn't even able to partially calm the anger he felt.

“Fuck everything! Fuck you!” He screamed again as if you were in front of him.

It's over.

Why?

Jay couldn't give himself an answer. He knew things weren't going well for a while but he’d never, ever, ever imagine leaving you. He wanted to face everything with you, any kind of obstacle, because he wanted it to work, because since he had met you and even when you were just friends he hadn’t doubted for a second you weren’t the woman of his life.

He had said horrible things. Things he didn't even think.

You hadn't ruined his existence, on the contrary, his life would probably have ended in the abyss if he had never met you.

He was shocked.

He didn't want to believe it, he just couldn’t.

He was sure everything would be resolved, your love couldn't just end that way. He hadn't spent years pining for you only to lose you like that, just because of a misunderstanding.

His cell phone rang but he didn't pay attention to it as his shining eyes looked at his half-destroyed apartment.

He had to get out of there, he needed to distract himself as he couldn't stay in that damn room where everything reminded him of you, where everything screamed your name. Hell, if he closed his eyes he could hear your laughter filling his apartment as he chased you one night after you stole the bag of chips he was happily eating.

By the time he arrived at the district the intense anger had somehow subsided even though he was in no condition to do anything as his mind was completely elsewhere.

He had to suppress the urge to roll his eyes when he saw Hailey sitting on his desk. It was her fault and he was hating her for it.

Inside he actually knew this wasn’t true, it was only his fault for not being able to do things differently and yours for not trusting him enough but he wasn’t thinking clearly.

“Halstead where the hell have you been?! I waited for you for more than half an hour!”.

Just hearing her voice was enough to make him go back to the anger he had so difficultly tried to suppress. He didn't have the strength or desire to put up with anyone, especially not at that moment when everything in his life seemed to be falling apart.

“Hailey don't start this bullshit okay? God I can't stand you anymore just leave me the fuck alone! And find yourself another fucking partner from now on I’ve had enough of this shit!”.

Jay's loud voice made Voight leave his office but he didn't care just as he didn't care about the shocked expression with which she looked at him, not expecting that outburst in the slightest.

“What is going on here?” Voight's gravely voice echoed through the unit.

Jay gave him a look and without another word he left, ignoring his boss' voice calling out for him. He was walking down the stairs when he bumped into Kevin.

“Hey man dammit! Woah, are you okay?” Kevin asked, stopping in his steps and getting worried when he noticed the frantic way Jay was walking. He didn't answer him, ignoring Kevin completely as he continued towards the exit of the district.

He couldn't do this, he couldn't deal with this.

He couldn't function if you weren't there.

How was he supposed to do it?

-

The two months following the breakup were one of the hardest Jay had to face. Since you had met years ago that was the first time you hadn't spoken and to say he felt like shit was an understatement.

Some would’ve thought the reaction was exaggerated since you’ve been together for just few months, but Jay had loved you long before he even confessed his feelings for you. You had entered his life like a hurricane and now that you left he felt empty.

Empty.

Lost.

That's how he felt.

And not even these words could remotely describe how he actually felt. He was so used to having you in his life, to sharing everything with you, than even after two months he could resign himself to your breakup.

The anger had subsided but it was still there, no longer towards you – or rather only in a small part – but above all towards himself.

He was angry with you because he couldn't accept how you had given up so quickly at the first big obstacle. But then again, who was he kidding, you had every reason to do it and this was the reason why he, on the other hand, was furious with himself.

After the initial shock, as time passed, Jay had reflected on everything that had happened and what had led to the breakup and, also after speaking with his friends and brother, he realized how many mistakes he had done and how right you were saying he had been a shitty boyfriend.

He had disrespected you by not considering your feelings, he had neglected them thinking every problem would just go away on its own.

He had accused you of being irrational, oppressive and he had never realized how harmful these things were, not trying to really reflect on why were acting like that.

But it was too late.

You only realize you had something important only when you lose it, this was so true.

He mistakenly hadn't given enough importance to your feelings, your thoughts, your fears. He hadn't reassured you enough when you expressed your fears, he hadn't done what was necessary to make you go to sleep peacefully at night and he would’ve cursed himself forever for this.

He was hurting but he knew it was nothing compared to what you had been through with his carelessness and superficiality for so long, so he deserved to suffer. It's true, he deserved it – he thought – but every morning he woke up and wondered when it would end, when that emptiness would go way, when that constant sensation of his lungs being compressed and not being able to breathe would stop.

Talking to Adam one time, he pointed out Jay was wrong for not to setting boundaries with Hailey even though their relationship had always been like this even when you and him were still friends.

“We all noticed how Hailey was looking for every opportunity to get close to you man so I'm sorry to say but everything that happened was your fault. You’re like a brother to me you know this, but Y/n has every reason to be furious with you, you should’ve set some boundaries and shouldn't have never let her think another person comes before her. I don't blame her for breaking up with you.”

These words made Jay open his eyes, although ever since that day when he made that outburst against Hailey in the unit he had relaxed their partnership to the bare minimum after asking Voight to change partner. He no longer spoke to her except for work, he no longer went out when she was around, he didn't answer any calls or messages and god only knew how much he wanted to call you to tell you that but he also knew it was too late to fix it since he should’ve done this much sooner.

He thought about how he would’ve felt if the roles had been reversed and he didn't have to think twice about the fact that he would’ve reacted even worse than you did. This obviously only made him feel worse.

The question he asked himself two months ago was never answered.

Jay didn't know how to function without you. He didn't know how to exist in a world where you weren't part of it.

He couldn't sleep well anymore without you beside him and even though two months had passed, every night he found himself looking at the photos of you two and, God, how much he would’ve paid to go back to those moments and be able to relive them.

His gaze landed on one of the pictures Adam took at Molly's the fucking night when he decided giving Hailey a ride home would be a smart thing to do. God, on second thought if he could just go back in time – not giving a shit about seeming mean and insensitive – he would’ve even let her walk in the rain and snow if it meant having you with him again.

A bitter smile played on his lips as his vision blurred with tears. He had cried so much in those past months, more than he’d ever want to admit, and there were countless times where he called Will to come over and always ended up crying in front of him.

Fuck he missed you so much.

How was it possible to want someone so bad? How was it possible to miss someone so much he felt like he was dying everyday even after two months?

He sniffled as he paid attention to the photo again. You were so beautiful and seemed so carefree. He had his arm around your shoulders and you had half your face buried in his chest as you both laughed about something he couldn’t remember.

Jay struggled to recognize himself.

He didn't remember what it was like to be so happy anymore, to smile so much his jaw hurt, to feel his heart full of joy. By now he no longer smiled, if it wasn't for the strained and fake smiles he addressed to colleagues and friends from time to time.

He was so fucking happy with you and he had let slip the only source of such happiness, the only person who had ever managed to make him almost touch the sky with a finger.

He wiped away a tear that had slipped down his cheek as his finger traced the outline of your figure imprinted in the picture. This was all he had left. Just some photos and videos.

You were so beautiful, the most gorgeous woman his eyes had ever had the pleasure of laying on and the way you smiled in those photos, God, your smile was breathtaking.

The movie played in the background as he continued to look back at all the photos and videos of you he had saved in his gallery for the millionth time. He would’ve let someone rip his organs out with bare hands and let them being sold on the black market if it meant having you back.

He wanted nothing more than to go back to those happy and carefree times, to those moments he seemed to take for granted.

What would he have done to be able to make you laugh like that again, to hug you so hard until he took your breath away. What would he have given to have you back with him, to be able to open the car door for you, to hear you sing all the songs you knew on the radio or to be able to take you to your favorite restaurant and watch you stuff yourself with food with your eyes shining with joy until you exploded.

What he would’ve given to see you watch your favorite movie a thousand more times and be moved every single time while he hugged you and dried the tears you always denied having.

What would he even give to see you so grumpy and sad when your period was about to come but how that nervousness instantly disappeared and how your face lit up the moment he went to your house with a bag full of chocolate and junk food.

What would he have given to be able to sleep beside you again, to be able to cradle you in his arms and whisper sweet words until you fell asleep when you weren't sleepy or when, on the contrary, you denied you were sleepy but ended up falling asleep literally three minutes later . What would he have given to open his eyes in the morning and see you lying next to him, with only the sheet covering your body, to see your hair scattered on the pillow and some strands in front of your face, or feel your scent invade his nostrils every time you were close to him.

And, damn it, he would’ve given anything to even take back your cooking and your terribly prepared dishes. He missed going to your house and seeing the kitchen upside down with literally all the dirty dishes and pots. God, you were a terrible cook but he loved so much the immense effort you put into cooking something you knew he loved and yet he still ate whatever you made for him with a smile on his face, not admitting the food was overcooked or raw or even charred, just so he could see the look of pure joy on your face as he ate it.

He had never left a single plate full.

And that was the difference between you and him.

You always tried hard for him, you always tried to improve, to bite the bullet even if you didn't like something just so as not to bother him. You did it until you reached your breaking point and he understood this, even if it was too late.

Stupid.

Stupid.

Stupid.

The guilt was eating him alive. He couldn't accept in any way the most beautiful things that ever happened to him had ended that way and above all because of him.

He couldn’t stop thinking about you.

What were you doing? Were you thinking of him? Did you miss him? How were you?

It had been two fucking months since he had seen you, that he hadn't heard from you even though he had tried several times to call you and text you even though – understandably – you had never replied to him. He went to your house so many times he couldn’t count them but every single time before knocking on your door he’d froze, not knowing what to do and fearing your reaction. So he turned and walked away, not sparing himself crying like a three-year-old.

He had asked his friends with whom you had kept in touch about you but they said it wasn't their place to say things that concerned you since you two have broken up and that he had to stop hurting himself and take the matter in his hands.

Jay had stopped going out, his life was now home-work work-home. He didn't even know how he managed to do his job, let alone think about going out and sitting at a bar.

The truth was that he was scared as hell.

He was afraid to see you again, he was afraid to look at you and know you no longer gave a fuck about him, he was afraid of how he’d react after so long without seeing you.

He jumped when he heard someone knocking on the door and quickly wiped away his tears, locking the phone and throwing it on the couch before getting up and going to see who it was.

Oh, and the cell phone was new obviously. He didn't want to think back to how he had destroyed the old one by throwing it furiously against the wall.

“Will what are you doing here?” Jay asked as he opened the door and let his brother in, closing it behind him.

“Go get dressed, we’re going out.”

“I'm not going anywhere, I'm watching a movie.” He sat back on the couch, looking at the TV even though he didn't even remember the name of the movie.

“It wasn't a request Jay. I've had enough of seeing you like this. You have to take your life into your own hands, aren't you tired of this?”

Jay rolled his eyes. “Will just leave me alone please, I don't want to go out.”

Will walked over and took the remote control before turning off the TV and placing it back on the coffee table. “Like I said, it wasn't a request. Go get dressed, let's go to a bar for a drink and we are not going Molly's don't worry. You need to get out Jay, you've been doing nothing but staying inside the house for two months.”

“Will… I swear to God,” Jay scolded, feeling his anger and irritation grow more and more.

“No brother, listen to me. I know it hurts, I can only imagine how much but it's time you start to move on. I know you still love her but it's full of people out there you might know. She left you and it was probably for the best...”

Jay didn't even let him finish his sentence.

He suddenly got up and grabbed him by the shirt, seething with anger and refraining from giving him a punch just because he was his brother.

“If you know what's best for you, don't even dare to finish the sentence,” he spat through clenched teeth and Will nodded, knowing he was in no condition to think clearly. Jay let him go but the anger was still there.

“Jay, listen I'm sorry…”

“No fuck you! How can you think it’s better this way? How could you say that! She is the best for me, if it’s not her I don't want anyone else. After all this time, you know what I’ve been through since we were just friend, you know how I won't be able to love anyone like I love her so stop trying to pair me with someone every fucking opportunity you get, I'm sick of it!”.

Will nodded, feeling guilty for pushing his brother so hard. “I’m sorry Jay, you’re right I went too far but I’m just worried about you. I hate seeing you this way and I wasn't kidding about taking back your life. You can't keep going like this,” he said “Let's at least go have a drink and get some fresh air, I promise I won't say anything else.”

So this was how Jay found himself sitting at a bar he had never been to before with his brother – who had also invited other friends besides those from the unit – regretting the fucking moment he agreed with that shit.

Hailey was there too but he didn't even say hello to her or gave her single glance. He didn't care although he knew she had nothing to do with it but he couldn't help but feel resentment towards her.

Don't blame others for your bullshit and for not being able to keep your girlfriend, his conscience added.

Jay ended up drinking and getting drunk until he couldn't stand without help. He wasn't the type to drink but in that moment he would’ve done anything to just stop thinking about you even for just a minute. But the thing was that even when he was drunk he couldn't stop blurting out your name and not think about you, so this was no use.

Will ended up letting him sleep at his house, not feeling like leaving him alone, a chasm in his heart while looking at his brother reduced to that state and not being able to do anything to help him.

“Oh Y/n what have you done do to my brother,” he sighed before casting one last glance at Jay asleep on the bed in the guest room before closing the door behind him.

But if only Will had known what conditions you were in too, he would’ve asked this same question to you.

What have Jay done to you?

In the two months after the breakup, not a day had gone by without not wanting him back and cry in his arms, telling him you regretted leaving him.

It was hard, damn it was, but you had to be strong.

You didn't know how you didn't give in but no matter how much you loved him, no matter how much your heart ached agonizingly, you couldn't go back, not if there was no change.

You believed that at least after the break up he’d try to fight for your relationship, that he’d demonstrate he loved you as much as he professed but you started to wonder if it was even true or not.

The passing of those two months could be compared to riding a roller coaster. One day you were angry like never before, another you seemed to feel better, another you had to ask for a work leave because you had spent the night crying all the tears you had in your body until you didn't even have the strength to get up the next morning.

You had also discovered that alcohol could be a good companion but after three weeks of continuous drinking and you calling some of your friends in tears, you realized it really wasn't that good and it made you think of Jay more than you normally did. You lost count of the number of times your friends had taken your cell phone from you to prevent you from calling Jay in your drunken state.

But you missed that bastard son of a bitch so much.

And you hated yourself because you couldn't hate him even when he had made you suffer.

You asked yourself so many times if it had been the right decision, if you hadn't made it too hastily, letting yourself be guided solely by your negative emotions.

No, your conscience quickly intervened when these thoughts crept into your mind.

You had already spoken up to him many times, you had explained to him how uncomfortable his friendship with Hailey made you feel but he had decided to ignore your words and not give importance to them. All of this hurt you so damn much, especially knowing he didn't care enough like you thought he did.

It didn't matter how much you had to suffer, this wasn’t what you wanted for yourself.

You didn't want to have to beg for his attention, you didn't want to have to tearfully tell him every single time how bad the way he talked and laughed with her made you feel or how ignored you felt sometimes. You wanted a carefree love, you wanted a love where the person next to you took you above all others, a love where your man saw no other person but you, you wanted a love so intense you had to be the center of his world.

And you really thought you won the lottery with Jay.

He was the perfect man for you, or at least he had been for the first few months. God what would you have given to relive those times. They were pure heaven, you felt like you were constantly floating on clouds, almost exploding with happiness. You really felt like the center of his world and you wondered what had happened, why everything had fallen apart.

Maybe you were too pretentious, maybe you lived too much on fairy tales and romance novels, maybe you were destined to be alone and not meet anyone who’d give you what you wanted. Maybe you had to settle down and lower your expectations.

But no, damn it, you’d didn’t want to do that.

You’d never settle for a mediocre love or a person who gave you the bare minimum, even if it meant dying alone.

You knew Jay was and would forever be the one and only, you wouldn’t be able to love anyone like you loved him.

“Y/n you still there?” Stella's voice brought you back to reality.

“Oh yeah, sorry, I was just… A little bit lost in my thoughts.”

You and Stella were taking a walk in the park after your shift, even though it was cold. You had initially refused, wanting nothing more than to go home and cry yourself to sleep as you looked at the photos of you with Jay and regretted the love you had probably lost forever. But Stella didn't want to listen and you had to thank her. You wouldn't have known what to do if she hadn't been there in those two months. She had truly become your rock.

“Don't worry, I get it,” she replied with a sweet smile on her face. “You want to tell me what were you thinking about?”.

“No, I don't really want to talk about it, I've already stressed you out enough with this whole thing,” you said, putting your frozen hands in your jacket’s pockets. There was almost no one in that park if it hadn't been for a few passers-by who were taking their dog for a walk.

Autumn had already begun, the trees were mostly almost all bare from their leaves and you couldn't help but feel like them. Empty, bare, devoid of any emotion other than a sense of loss and profound sadness.

I hate you Jay Halstead.

And I also love you so damn much.

“Y/n I told you a thousand times not to keep things inside, I'm here and I’ll happily listen to you, don't think for a second you can be a burden to me.”

You turned to her and gave her a smile, perhaps one of the only sincere ones you'd given in the last two months. You felt your eyes fill with tears and you cursed yourself for feeling so emotional, how you seemed to do anything but cry at the smallest thing.

She understood you instantly, even when you looked away from her and wrapped an arm around your shoulders, giving you an encouraging hug.

You let out a sigh as the cold air prickled your face, immediately wiping away a lone tear that slid down your cheek.

“I don’t know Stella, I’m so confused…” you started to speak “I miss him so much and I… I wonder when I’ll stop feeling this way.”

“I know you miss him, it's natural Y/n. Don't pressure yourself about this, give yourself time to get over it, it's only been two months,” she paused for a moment, giving you a look, “But you don't want to get over it, do you?”.

How did she know exactly how you felt?

You nodded feebly, feeling terribly stupid.

“I don't want to go on without him, I don't know how to do it... He made me feel like shit and all I can think about is that I’d love nothing more than for him to knock on my door,” you spoke, giving voice to your thoughts “I feel so stupid because I should be mad at him and fuck I am, I wish he had fought for us, I wish he hadn't limited himself to few stupid calls and texts, I wish he had listened to me when I talked to him about our problems, but… God, at the same time if he came back I know I’d go back to him in a heartbeat because I don't know how to be without him...” tears were now streaming down your face and Stella listened to you carefully while she continued to keep her arm around your shoulder. “Am I being crazy?”.

“Oh darling, of course you aren’t. Like I said, it is more than normal, in fact I’d be worried if you didn't feel this way.”

“Was I stupid to leave him?”.

“No, you did the right thing if that’s what you felt, I would probably have done the same thing if Kelly did this or worse. Even if you love Jay to death that doesn't mean you have to spend your relationship feeling anxious every time you see him with Hailey or constantly worrying that something might happen between the two of them, or asking him to spend time with you and take you on dates or something like that. It's best to set the record straight from the start, if there's one thing you shouldn't do it's keep it all inside you. Just know that sooner or later you will explode and believe me, if you had done this the outcome would’ve been far worse.”

“I know, I know… You’re right,” you sighed “But when will this end?” you sniffed at the same time she handed you a tissue.

“I wish I could answer that Y/n, but unfortunately this is love. It's beautiful and ugly, it's joy and pain. I always thought love and hate were two sides of the same coin and it doesn't take much to erase the line between them,” she sighed, feeling sorry for you.

“Well, love sucks right now.”

You both let out a laugh and you dried you tears, again. “Trust me honey I know but… Can I tell you what I think?”.

“Yes, please.”

“I think if fate wants it, it’ll bring you back together. Darling, you two broke up not because the love ended but because you reached the breaking point after so much tension and arguments. I’m one hundred percent sure that everything happened between you was due to communication problems: he didn't fully understand your problems and you didn't have the patience to make him understand them,” she softly spoke.

“Unfortunately, you have to understand you’re two different people honey and as such you have different thoughts and views of life so what’s important for you doesn’t mean it will be as much as important for him and vice versa. He wasn’t good at understanding this and I think this was his fault; he had to put himself in your shoes, and you couldn't take it the fact he didn’t immediately get why his relationship with Hailey – along with other issues – made you feel the way you felt,” she took a pause while you listened with meticulous attention to every single word.

“He was superficial, this is true, but his problem didn't come from this. Think for a second how it must’ve felt to be constantly accused of something that I myself am certain isn’t the truth, to feel the lack of trust from the person you love,” she continued to speak as you both kept waking slowly.

“Y/n that man lives and breathes for you, his heart beats for no one but you, I see the way he looks at you and the way he talks about you when you’re not there. I saw the way he’s struggling right now and I’m very sure if you called him this very moment he’d be here begging you on his knees to come back with him. I’m not on his side though, like I said, I really think you guys just had communication issues and you need a little more patience with each other. I'm not saying you didn't do the right thing, on the contrary, I think this breakup however painful, could be the turning point for you and I'm one hundred percent sure you’ll get back together, just mark my words.”

-

You spent the following weekend locked in your house avoiding any social interaction.

You did nothing but think over and over again about Stella's words during your walk and you would’ve been lying if you said the idea of calling Jay or going to him hadn't crossed your mind more intensely than before.

You didn't do it though, fear and pride blocking you.

What if he had moved on? What if he had already forgotten about you? What if he hooked up with Hailey?

No, no, no, fuck no.

These questions continued to haunt you and were what stopped you from doing something stupid. You wouldn't have been able to bear it, you weren't ready to know this and probably never would’ve been.

It had been two months since you had seen him or heard from him but every time you wanted to ask your friends about him you stopped yourself out of pure selfishness, because you were afraid of the answer. You knew if they answered those unexpressed questions and make your fears reality, it would’ve killed you. You’d never recover, no matter how dramatic and absurd that sounded.

Selfishly speaking, you hoped he was feeling as shitty as you were, just because that would’ve meant he still cared about you and that you were still somewhere in his mind like he was constantly in yours.

Monday came slowly and you were never so grateful for it, feared that if you were left alone with your mind another day you’d shoot your brain out with a rifle.

You entered the shower with the intention of washing yourself quickly, trying to ignore the memories of the ones you took with Jay.

“God please, stop,” you whispered to yourself. Why didn’t it get easier? Why couldn't you do anything without some fucking thing reminding you of him? Why couldn't you just forget?

You burst into tears, letting them mix with the tap water that wet your face. You leaned against the cold tiles, as you sobbed into your hands covering your face.

You couldn't take it anymore.

It was getting unbearable.

You placed a hand at your heart level, feeling how it was beating wildly. Your chest rose and fell rapidly and as numerous sobs came out of your mouth and copious tears from your eyes, you started to feel the horrible sensation of not being able to breathe, as if the walls had suddenly started to close around you.

You were familiar with that feeling unfortunately, it wasn't the first time it had happened to you in those last two months and all you could do was just let it happen, sit on the ground and wait for it to pass.

And that was exactly what you did, sitting on the floor of the shower, letting the water hit your back until it got cold and you calmed down.

When you arrived at work you felt like a zombie.

You hadn't had breakfast, your twisted stomach prevented you from being able to swallow any food, and you felt rather weak.

Absurdly you hoped there would be an accident, a fire, any kind of thing that would allow you to keep your mind occupied for at least a few hours.

And for once in your life, fate seemed to follow your will.

Your team was called to the scene of an accident that very morning, a couple of hours after you arrived at the fire station. It was a road accident, a car had crashed into a guardrail and the victim was trapped in the vehicle.

When you arrived at the crime scene it started raining, making that shitty day even shittier.

You didn't have time to think about the rain, you had a person to save but it made the job even more difficult. The car was completely destroyed in the front and there were pieces of glass from the car windows and braking marks on the asphalt, making you wonder how fast the driver was going to end up in that state. You were even surprised he was still alive.

“Hey buddy just hang on okay? We'll get you out of there, just hold on for a few minutes and don't make sudden movements,” you tried to reassure him, slightly leaning forward so you could look at him. The driver was a boy who couldn’t have exceeded the age of twenty and he was about to have a panic attack. You didn't blame him though, no one would want to be in that situation.

“Get me out of here!” He kept screaming.

You and the other firefighters on the scene worked together to get the victim out of the car which was now reduced to a pile of scrap that looked more like a can of tuna.

You managed to get him out of the car but not before putting a collar around his neck to stabilize the cervical vertebrae in case they were fractured. You and your colleague, Alex, removed him from the car and immediately placed him on the stretcher, locking the straps around his body.

Even though he was almost out of danger, the stranger continued to move, shouting to let him go.

“Hey, hey, hey! Listen to me! It's okay, you're safe now. They’ll take you to the hospital where they’ll treat you okay?” You tried for the umpteenth time to calm the boy down before looking at the paramedics and nodding at them, signing they could finally transport the victim on the ambulance.

“Y/n! Come here!” Alex's voice caught your attention and you joined him towards the crashed car.

“Am I tripping or does this look like blood?” He asked, pointing to the rear trunk which was closed and from which streams of what certainly appeared to be blood were coming out.

“Holy shit,” you let out and you both exchanged a worried look. “Take the crowbar.”

With no small amount of ease you managed to open the trunk and nothing could have prepared you for what you found yourselves facing.

“Fuck!” “Oh shit!” You and Alex exclaimed almost at the same time, covering your noses from the nauseating smell that had hit you right in the face, simultaneously taking steps backwards.

There was a fucking dead body in the trunk of that car and in that moment you understood why the driver was so agitated and in a hurry to run away.

“Call the police.”

It was the Intelligence who intervened at the crime scene and it wasn't even necessary to say you were a bundle of nerves. Your stomach was churning in anxiety as you tried to stay calm, the thought of having to see Jay again almost made you throw up.

You breathed a sigh of relief when you saw Antonio arrive alone, fuck, you weren't ready to face Jay, not on the crime scene where you had found a body.

“Mornin’ guys. So what do we have here?” Antonio asked as soon as he greeted you and Alex. He gave you a longer look than usual, giving you a smile that screamed pity and sorrow.

God, did you look that bad?

Alex explained the situation and everything that happened while you listened. The rain was incessant and by now all your hair was sticking to your forehead even though it was tied up in a ponytail. The cold was almost unbearable even though you were wearing your uniform jacket which was quite heavy.

You were talking to Antonio after Alex got back to your other colleagues when you saw him and you almost had a heart attack.

Jay.

You froze in place, feeling all your muscles suddenly atrophy and paralyze. You blinked several times, fearing you were having a hallucination.

“Y/n? You okay?” Antonio's voice reached your ears very far away, your attention focused on the only person who had ever made your heart beat so fast you feared it’d stop.

You know when you hear in a movie the characters say time stops when they see the person they love?

You had always thought it was just a cliché thing but in that moment you really realized how truth that statement was.

Everything seemed to disappear, rain evaporated, people vanished.

It was two months. Two months of not seeing him. Two months of pure torture and hell and now he was there in front of you, beautiful as the sun.

He was wearing a jacket whose pockets he had put his hands in, a hood covering his hair as he walked towards the yellow police tape. He put a hand out of his pocket to lift it and go under it after nodding to the cops, tucking his hand back into his pocket immediately afterwards.

You felt your knees give away and you didn't know how you managed not to collapse there in front of everyone.

But it was when your eyes met that your breath was completely knocked out of your lungs.

Jay stopped in his tracks instantly, as if he'd bumped into something. He couldn't help but widen his eyes and part his lips as his brain processed the vision in front of him.

Was it really you? Wasn't he dreaming?

The cold vanished almost instantly as a sensation of heat coursed through his body, causing every cell in his system to light up on fire. He didn't expect to see you, not like that and not after two months.

He had to repress the desire to run to you and throw himself at your feet and pray for your forgiveness. He was overwhelmed by a wave of emotions.

Happiness.

Sadness.

Repentance.

Emptiness.

Anger.

Pain.

The memories of your last meeting overwhelmed him. His heart shattered even more than it already was when he remembered the last time he had seen and spoken to you, you both had shouted the worst evil things at each other.

It's over.

Even from afar your eyes managed to hypnotize him but he couldn't help but notice how the light that characterized them, that light in those eyes he continuously dreamed about and which he still loved with all his being, had disappeared.

And it was his fault, he was the one who did this to you.

He had noticed the dark circles surrounding your eyes, perhaps even worse than his, and guilt was added to all those feelings he felt.

It was all his fault.

His eyes filled with tears when you looked away, wanting nothing more than to run away and cry.

He saw Antonio turn towards him and give him a look before returning his attention to you and saying something. Jay didn't have the strength to get closer, the fear was paralyzing him. He couldn’t even let out a sound.

But how much he wanted to scream at the top of his lungs how much he loved you, so deeply you made completely lose his mind to the point he couldn’t breathe without you, sleep, or even eat.

He just stood there like an idiot while staring at you, not moving a single muscle.

You’re so fucking mesmerizing Y/n. How can someone be so beautiful?

You said something to Antonio and looked at Jay again before turning your back and walking away, joining the rest of your colleagues who were about to go back to the fire station.

“Halstead you okay?” Antonio asked as he approached him but Jay didn't even seem to listen to him as his eyes were following your every move. “Jay.”

“I'm fine,” he murmured, never taking his eyes off you. You were taking some tools he couldn't even identify and loading it onto the fire truck.

“Jay, man, look at me please.”

But he didn't.

He didn't take his eyes off you until you got into the truck and drove away, not before you exchanged another look.

Jay let out a sigh he didn't even know he was holding, then ran his hands over his face wet because of the rain.

He looked at the gray sky for a moment, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath in an attempt to regain control of himself.

He hated all of this. He hated you still had so much control over him, his thoughts, how you managed to mess him up so badly he couldn't properly function anymore. You had such power over him and you didn't even know it. How the fuck could you even doubt he didn't care about you?

“I’m sorry,” he murmured when he realized how idiotic he must have looked.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“How is she?”.

Antonio sighed. “She… She’s not doing very well Jay, she was shaking when she saw you. Why don't you just talk to her and solve your problems? It's so obvious that neither of you are over it yet.”

It was now late afternoon and Jay was out of his mind.

For the rest of the day he thought of nothing but you and meeting you that morning. Even as the team investigated the case about the body you found, everyone had noticed how his mind was totally elsewhere.

He said something from time to time, participating in the investigations when he seemed to wake up from his thoughts and then immediately distanced himself from them again.

He didn't miss Voight's lecture, who chided him about how distracted he had been lately. He told him he understood the hard time he was going through but that he should leave his problems outside the district.

He was quite understanding, even when Jay came to him and told him he no longer wanted to be partnered with Hailey, but enough was enough. Jay had to be concentrated, he couldn't afford distractions in a job like his because just one small mistake could’ve cost him his life.

“What happened man? You seem even more out of your mind than usual today,” Adam stated when he entered the break room and saw his friend sitting on the small sofa, looking down and a cup of steaming coffee in his hands.

“I saw her,” Jay replied softly.

“What? Seriously? When? Have you guys talked?”.

Jay shook his head. “This morning, at the crime scene, she was one of the firefighters there,” he sighed as his mind was haunted by your eyes “We didn't talk. I just looked at her from afar.”

Adam sighed as he poured himself some coffee too. “How much longer are you planning to go on like this? You're becoming unbearable Halstead.”

“Excuse me?”.

“Yes, you heard me mate. You’ve been a pain the ass. Either you get back with her or move on, just stop crying to yourself like a baby and do something. Are you waiting for a fucking miracle to get you back together? Then you can wait forever because it will never happen. You make your own destiny.”

Jay looked at him not knowing whether to laugh or feeling offended.

But damn, was he right.

He was tired of feeling this way, of this continuing suffering, of being without you. It had been too long and he didn't want to live that way anymore. He no longer wanted to wake up in the morning and constantly wonder when the damn day would end, he no longer wanted to roll over in bed and not seeing you lying next to him, he no longer wanted to wake up in the middle of the night because of some nightmare where you were happily in love with another man.

He wanted to be your man, he wanted to give you all the happiness you deserved, he wanted to be the one to give you everything you needed.

He had been so stupid for even letting this much time pass.

All he had to do was go to you and do everything within his power to make you truly trust him again, to proving you how much he loved you, how much his world revolved only around you, how much only you made him happy.

Either it was you or he’d die in total solitude and he didn't want that. He wanted to be with you, he wanted to die like a decrepit old man while he held your hand.

He hadn't spent so many years of friendship longing for you only to give up like that and let you go, he couldn't do that. He didn’t want to live with that ‘if’, with the fear of taking a few steps towards you because he was afraid of your rejection, even if it would’ve hurt him, he wanted to give his all.

For this reason he placed the cup of coffee on the table and ran away at the speed of light, leaving Adam standing there who, however, immediately understood the intentions of his friend and grinned to himself.

Jay didn't bother wearing his jacket or getting an umbrella to protect himself from the rain that was pouring incessantly since the morning, not caring about anything other than coming to you.

Although it was only 5:30 PM, it was already dark outside. The rain was pounding so hard the walk from the district to his car was enough to get him soaked from head to toe.

If in other moments he would’ve torn a limb rather than get into the car with his soaked clothes and wet the seats, in that instant it was the last thing on his mind. He thought about how you’d react seeing him in that situation, he knew you’d tease him forever. Just the thought made him smile.

It was Monday and he knew you had a double shift that day so he drove to the fire station at the speed of light, hoping to find you there. He didn't care you were in the middle of the shift, he just needed to see you.

He parked the car crookedly, got out and ran towards the fire station. The first person he met was Stella, who looked at him with a weird look as soon as she noticed the condition he was in.

“Stella, hi... Where is Y/n? I need to talk to her.”

He gave her a confused look at her when he saw her slightly grinning as she crossed her arms over her chest. “Finally Halstead, took you long enough don't you think? Two months…”

“I know, I've been a stupid piece of shit,” he interrupted her not being able to contain himself anymore “But please tell me where she is.”

“She went home an hour and a half ago, she said she wasn't feeling well.”

Worry took over. “Wait what? Did something happened?”.

Stella rolled her eyes. “You're such an idiot Jay. Physically she's fine, emotionally not much and it's because of you,” she pointed her index finger at his chest. “You better fix the mess you've made.”

He felt like shit, more than he already was. He hated the thought of you being in pain, especially because of him. “I'll try, if she still wants to talk to me.”

“She has every reason not to,” Stella commented.

He nodded. She was right. “She’s home right?”.

“Last time I checked, yes.”

“Thank you Stella.”

Jay started to walk away but her voice made him stop.

“I never want to see her cry again Jay so if you don't believe in what you're doing and if you think you can't give her what she needs you better turn around and drive your stupid ass back to your house,” she threatened him. “She wouldn't be able to go through everything she's been through these past few months again, so I'm warning you, I'll rip your balls off and make you wear them like earrings if you make her suffer again.”

“I'm not going to Stella, she…” he sighed trying to find the right words to describe how he felt about you “She is my whole world, I've never been as sure of anything as I am of how much I love her, I just want her back.”

Stella nodded. “Now go.”

When Jay arrived outside your apartment building, a wave of relief went through him as he noticed your car was parked in its usual spot. But it was soon replaced by disappointment when after knocking your door several times there was no answer.

He thought about calling you but he didn't want to scare you away, he didn't want you to have the chance to escape since he wanted to talk to you at all costs.

He went outside again, and sat on the steps outside the main entrance waiting for you, his head bowed as droplets of water were falling on the asphalt. He luckily managed to sit where the rain wouldn’t come although the still soaked clothes were starting to bother him. He didn't care though, this was truly the last thing on his mind.

Where were you? Were you alone? Were you with anyone else?

He shook his head. He didn't even want to think about it, knowing he’d most likely get a life sentence without parole if he ever saw another man next to you.

He didn’t also want to think it wouldn’t be his businesses since you two weren’t together anymore.

Contrary to what Jay thought, you had just gone for a walk, unable to stay at home since you were afraid if you were left alone with your thoughts again you’d go crazy. You thought you were stupid for asking to leave early from work so you could stay at home and rest but then didn't want to stay because the anguish was so intense you couldn't even sit still.

So you ended up taking an umbrella and going out for a walk, without a specific destination. You just wanted to clear your head and get some fresh air. Even though the rain was bothering you since that morning, you still loved the sound of it and the smell it left in the air.

Seeing Jay had shocked you more than you would’ve ever imagined, even though you knew quite well how it’d end. You had wondered numerous times what it’d be like to meet him again after two months of not hearing from him, you knew it wouldn't be easy, but you didn't think it would’ve such a deep effect on you to not even let you do your job.

It was as if you jumped back to the day you broke up and that very little progress you had made over the course of those months disintegrated as soon as you met his beautiful eyes.

You walked for a time that seemed infinite to you even though barely an hour had passed and when your hands started to lose sensitivity due to the cold, you decided it was the time to head back home.

The journey to your apartment building took longer than expected, not in a hurry to return to those four cold walls as you knew the rough night awaited you. That is, crying and alcohol.

But if you had known what – or rather who – awaited you, you would’ve run until your lungs burned.

“Jay…”

You almost had a heart attack when you noticed the figure sitting on those steps, recognizing immediately the very and only man who managed to take your breath away and the ground off your feet with just a look.

You immediately saw how soakes wet his clothes were and how he wasn't even wearing a jacket over his long-sleeved shirt and your heart ached painfully.

How long was he there?

He shoot his gaze up from the ground when he heard your voice, fearing for a moment it was too good to be true and you weren't really there. He stood up quickly, standing in front of you.

“What are you doing here?” You asked with a shaky voice, struggling to hold the eye contact. Why did you want to cry so suddenly?

“I… I’m sorry for popping in here unannounced, I need to talk to you.”

Your stomach tightened in a vice, though you knew you had no other choice. You had to do it, you needed it too.

You nodded. “Let's go upstairs though.” You continued, feeling your heart break at thought he might catch something.

He nodded back and at the same time let out a sneeze before looking down in embarrassment. If it wasn’t for the fact you had broken up badly and this was the first time you interacted since that faithful day, you would’ve found it funny.

You closed your umbrella and entered your apartment building, aware Jay was behind you, and you both walked up to your home in complete silence.

Jay almost burst into tears when you opened the door and let him in, feeling a wave of nostalgia wash over him. He could smell your scent perfectly – well it was normal since it was your house – but he missed it so fucking much he thought he’d collapse on the floor.

He looked around, noticing everything was the same, but different at the same time. Two months had passed since he had set foot in that house but it seemed like an eternity since it had been the worst time of his life.

Silence reigned supreme as he looked at you taking off your jacket and hung it on the coat rack, after placing the wet umbrella in its stand.

You disappeared into your room for a moment and he stood there frozen, not knowing what to do.

He hated that feeling so fucking much, he hated not knowing how to act around you, what to say or what to do. You had always been his best friend, the person he felt most at peace with, you were the love of his life and yet at that moment he couldn't even look at you in the eyes without feeling like complete shit.

“I brought you some dry clothes, you can go change and put the wet ones in the dryer,” you said as soon as you walked out of your room, holding some folded clothes that Jay immediately recognized as his.

A little hope lit up inside him.

You still had his clothes, a black t-shirt and sweatpants. He had even forgotten you had them in first place but the relief and joy he felt from that small gesture almost made him burst into tears.

God I feel like a fucking emotional teenage girl.

“I thought you threw them away,” he replied, moving closer to you. You shook your head, but didn't look at him, too embarrassed to do it. If only he had known you had spent nights wearing those clothes and smelling his scent while crying yourself to sleep.

He took them and as he did it your hands touched.

You both tried to maintain a neutral facade but from the brief glance you exchanged you knew it affected both of you at the same way. It was as if an electric shock ran through your bodies and that small, almost imperceptible touch was enough to throw both of you into a whirlwind of indescribable emotions.

“Uhm… I-I… Well… I’ll just go,” he stammered before running to the bathroom and closing the door behind him.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, Y/n what are you doing to me,” he whispered, resting his forehead on the door as he caught his breath.

You let out a deep breath you didn't realize you were holding, placing a hand on your chest in an attempt to slow down your heart that was beating so hard it felt like it wanted to escape from your rib cage.

“I need a drink,” you said to yourself and went to the kitchen with the intention of drinking something strong.

You were still processing what was happening.

Jay was at your house.

Your ex-boyfriend and the love of your fucking life was at your house, in your bathroom, changing his wet clothes.

You tried to convince yourself it was reality and not just your dream as you poured some whiskey into a glass and downed it in one gulp like a shot.

You were so lost in your thoughts you didn't even realize Jay was back. You gave him a look, cursing yourself as you did since Jay in black was one of your weaknesses.

Lord please have mercy on my poor soul.

“How long have you been a whiskey drinker?”.

“Do you really want to know?” You responded with another question, looking up at him and taking another shot of alcohol, the burn along your throat now quite familiar.

You looked at each other for a few seconds and he shook his head slightly, knowing full well the answer to that question. He lowered his eyes to the floor, the guilt too strong.

“You want something?” You politely asked as you closed the bottle.

“No, thank you.” He wanted to talk to you as clearly as possible.

You nodded and placed the dirty glass in the sink.

Silence reigned supreme again and you walked past him before going into the living room and sitting on the couch. Your palms were sweating and you wondered why this had to be so damn hard.

Jay followed you like a puppy, but remained standing.

“You can sit Jay.”

He never thought about it but his name never sounded so wonderful until he heard you say it. Everything that came out of your lips was pure poetry to his ears, except when you insulted him, that was like getting stabbed by thousands knives.

He sat down on the couch, painfully far away from you.

“How are you?“ Was the first thing Jay asked and he mentally smacked himself on the forehead for his stupidity. He hadn't seen you for two months after you two had a horrible breakup and the smartest thing he could think of was ‘how are you?’.

Fucking dumbass.

You raised your head and your eyes met his, looking at him with an indecipherable expression. “You want the honest truth?”.

“Always.”

“Not very good Jay,” you gave a fake tight half smile “And now that you're here even less so.”

He sighed, obviously expecting this response, leaning back on the couch as he thought about what he could say.

“I'm sorry.” Was all he could spit out.

You imitated his gesture and leaned against the back of the sofa too, crossing your fingers over your belly while your eyes were fixed on the ceiling as if it was the most interesting thing you had ever seen.

You both remained silent for a moment. You looking at the ceiling and him looking at you.

With his eyes he traced the outline of your profile in meticulous detail, thinking about how much he missed being able to be close to you and look at you. He analyzed every inch of skin of your face, taking pictures with his gaze with the hope of imprinting them all in his memory in case he was no longer able to look at you like that.

“What did you want to talk to me about?” you asked, not looking at him.

He had to bite his tongue to keep from telling you how beautiful you were, fearing he’d get nothing more than a slap in the face, probably deserved too.

“So many things but I don’t know where to begin, I… I had a speech but I can’t even remember my own name now.”

You turned your head towards him and you looked at each other for a while in a way Jay couldn’t decipher, making him wish he could read your mind.

Your eyes never left each other as silence filled the room, the air was so tense it could be cut with a knife.

“How did we end up like this Jay?” It was you who broke the silence after a while, your voice so low you thought he hadn't even heard you.

“It was my fault,” he replied without hesitation “I… You were right Y/n, I was a shitty boyfriend,” he continued referring to what you had told him that fateful morning.

“No, it was my…”

“No bab- Y/n…” he tried to correct himself but it was too late because your heart had already skipped a beat. “I won't let you think it was your fault. I neglected you, I took you for granted, I was arrogant enough to think that once we got together we could just be happy without any effort. But I was wrong, I didn't realize I had hurt you so much and believe me... Please believe me, I’ll spend the rest of my days beating myself for this.”

“I hurt you too…” you whispered, feeling your eyes full of tears and afraid you’d start crying at any moment.

His chest tightened as he saw your sad expression and God only knew how much he wanted to hug you, holding you so tightly to his chest until he’d make all your pain go away.

He shook his head. “You were just angry, now I know, I understand it. I know your constant arguing with me was your way of telling me I wasn't doing enough for you and I'm sorry for putting you through all of this… I… I'm sorry for making you doubt me and I’ll never forgive myself for that Y/n because I lost the best thing that ever happened to me in life.”

Hearing those words made those little defenses you had managed to built collapse. You got up suddenly as tears ran down your cheeks, wiping them away in the process. You stood by the window, turning your back to him so he wouldn't see you.

He stood up right after you and carefully approached you. He moved his hands with the intention of resting them on your shoulders to comfort you but he stopped, not wanting to overstep your boundaries and make the situation even worse.

“Look at me Y/n please, I need to look into your eyes,” he whispered in a pleading tone. You quickly wiped your tears with your palms and turned to him, but kept your gaze lowered. “Hey…” He called your attention and you finally looked up at him. Your eyes were incredibly shiny from the tears but they had never been more beautiful than they were in that moment and finally being able to look at them so closely was like being punched in the stomach.

“I don't blame you, I don't blame you for a single thing you did or said, I hope you know that. I'm angry at myself for not giving you what you needed and for not realizing in time you were slipping through my fingers,” he confessed, “I haven't been fair to you, I've been superficial and selfish and… I stupidly thought our love would be enough for everything to go easy, but I was so wrong, because love is not just this, love is also understanding, patience, compromise and I failed giving you this...” he talked so softly it made your heart hurt.

Tears continued to leak from your eyes down your cheeks as you listened to the words you had wanted to hear for so long. This was all you ever wanted.

“I hate seeing you like this and I hate myself more for being the cause of it,” he continued in a whisper as the lump in his throat prevented him from saying anything else. “Can I?”.

You nodded without even knowing what he was referring to and your subconscious cursed you for reacting so quickly to whatever he said.

He lifted his hands and cupped them gently on your face, wiping away every tear with his thumbs with so gentle movements you thought you were dreaming of his touch.

You closed your eyes at that touch while at the same time letting out a sigh of relief. It didn't matter how long you denied it to yourself, you missed that man like oxygen, you were nothing without him.

“I hope you'll forgive me one day even though I know I don't deserve it…” his voice broke at the last words and with a blow to your heart you realized that he too was crying.

“Jay don't-…” you managed to mutter with a shaky voice.

“No, wait, please, let me talk,” he interrupted you, sniffling and never leaving your gaze “I need to tell you these things, I need you to know how much I care about you and how much I love you. I…” he stopped again, unable to continue moving forward and lowered his gaze, not being able to look at you anymore.

“Can I?” You whispered back and his eyes met yours again, chuckling through his tears before nodding. That time you were the one wiping away his tears with your fingers, gently stroking his skin with your thumbs, enjoying that sensation you missed so badly.

“Fuck baby, I don't deserve you.” He murmured hoarsely. “But I'm too selfish to let you go.”

His thumbs continued to caress your cheeks as you slid your arms to your sides.

“Let me decide that.”

“Before you do I want you to know I’ve never for a second stopped thinking about you. These past months have been pure hell, a fucking nightmare and I deserve it, for the way I treated you but I'm so pissed at myself because you didn't deserve it at all,” He croaked “I disrespected you by not respecting your wishes, and not giving your feelings the importance they deserved but I swear to you Y/n, I swear to you because you’re the most important person in my fucking life,” he looked intensely into your eyes, so much as if he somehow hoped you could read his soul. “Nothing has ever happened with Hailey or any other woman and I am so sorry I made you doubt it with the way I acted.”

“You’re the only woman of my life, you’re the woman I want to build my future with, you’re the woman I want to marry, you’re the woman I want to be the mother of my children, you’re the woman with whom I want to grow old and with whom I want to die,” he spat out as more lonely tears marked his cheeks, tears you immediately took and wiped away without hesitation. He softly smiled, making your heart race and your breath quicken, as he leaned against your touch.

“I can't exist without you, I can't function if you're not here baby and I wish I could let you into my head and heart… Fuck… You wouldn't doubt for even a second every fucking cell of my body don't have your name written on them I swear. You own me, in a way you’ll never imagine.”

You couldn't answer the question of how you were still standing as with each passing second you felt your knees buckle more and more. You were a crying mess, you couldn’t even look at him properly because of your blurred vision.

“I've been a selfish son of a bitch but I swear to you, and please believe me, there hasn't been a time since I first saw you that night at Molly's years ago that you haven't been in my mind. You came into my life like a hurricane Y/n and from the first time you smiled at me I never doubted for a second I finally met the love of my life, the greatest I could ever ask for.”

His fingers caressed your hair while you feared you’d have a heart attack at any moment.

“I know these will probably be empty words but if only you’d give me a chance my little angel, I promise I’ll do everything I can to make you happy and give you everything you deserve,” he whispered “I'm not giving up on us, even if now...

The ringing of his cell phone interrupted him and he let out a “Fucking hell” before taking it from his trouser pocket.

Contrary to what you expected, he rejected the call without no hesitation or even looking who it was and threw the phone on the sofa, not caring it bounced and then fell on the floor.

“I'm sorry…” he looked at you again.

“Why didn't you answer?”.

“Because I don't care about anyone else beside you right now.”

“But what if it was important?”.

“Nothing is more important than you Y/n, I hope I can convince you of that one day.”

“But…”

“Nothing but baby,” he placed his hands on your face again, freezing when he realized what he had just said “S-sorry I…” He didn’t realize it but he had already said it few other times.

You tried to hold back a smile and shook your head, letting him know it didn’t bother you. In fact, the way that pet name made you feel was something indescribable.

“I don’t want you to think I was thinking about her but Hailey’s not my partner anymore.”

He dropped this news like a bomb without even finished what he was saying earlier, leaving you in shock, not expecting something like this at all. “What? Why?”.

“Because it's something that bothers you.”

“Jay it didn't bother me she was your partner but…”

“I know,” he interrupted you, “It bothers you the way I behaved with her even though it meant absolutely nothing to me, the fact I was with you and when she called me I answered her, that I gave her a ride her, and all the things that happened. I know, I get it now, and this was fucked up on my part and I only now understand how you felt about it and I'm so sorry...”

“I'm glad you understand now but you still didn't even have to change partners Jay.”

“Y/n, I know it. I know it wasn't even necessary not to speak to her anymore except for something related to work but this is what I wanted and want to do. It might be dramatic but for me it's the least I can do for you,” he spoke in a firm and decisive tone “I had to set some boundaries, show you respect and understand how much all of this hurt you. I had to understand it was something that deeply troubled you instead of fueling your fears and making you feel like you were a burden.”

You looked at him with shock.

Who the hell was this man?

“You come first angel, everything else is worth less than a zero for me. I now get that if something hurts you than I have to figh tooth and nail to prove to you that whatever goes through this little head will never make me stop loving you, caring about you or needing you more than the air I breathe, so if you tell me my partnership with Hailey is bothering you, I'll get rid of it.”

“But it's not fair you… You don’t have to give up your friendship with her for me. I don't want you to have to deprive yourself of all this Jay, I never asked for this...”

“…You just wanted to be reassured,” he continued the sentence for you and you nodded feebly. “But listen to me. I know you didn't ask me, no one did, I decided to do it and there won't be anything that will make me change my mind. Y/n I want to do everything I can to make you trust me again, I don't care what it entails, even if it means burning up the whole world to the ground I will do it, without hesitation. I want you to understand that nothing’s more important to me than you, that you come above anyone else. Please, I don't want and I can't be without you anymore, I can't baby...”

Jay stopped talking for a second but continued noticing your silence. “And if this makes you feel better, I don’t want to keep a friendship with someone who acted the way she did. A friend doesn't try to intrude on your relationship, I was just too trusting and stupid to understand it and I'm sorry you had to pay for it.”

You pulled away from him for a moment, suddenly feeling suffocated. You sat on the couch again, resting your elbows on your knees and your face covered by your hands as you considered everything Jay had said so far.

Your mind was in a whirlwind of emotions and you couldn't figure out which of the thousand thoughts to listen to first.

Your rational part would’ve told him it was too late, that it was easy to fix your mistakes when the damage had been done.

But your non-rational part, the bigger one, would’ve thrown your arms around him and hugged him until he lost his breath.

You appreciated everything he had told you, so relieved he had finally understood what your real problem was with everything that had happened.

You loved him so much, so terribly much and the relief you had at hearing those words lifted a weight off your shoulders. But you still were so confused and didn't know what to do.

You didn't want to make hasty decisions following only your heart and you equally didn't want to make others that you might regret.

You felt the sofa sink next to you, a sign Jay had sat down.

“I… I know my job is to show you how much you mean to me and you might think that by rooting out Hailey's problem I've just gone with the easy solution but I hope you know that's not the case. I would choose you in a room with a billion people, I would still looking for you. It's just been my way of making you understand that neither Hailey nor any other woman is as indispensable in my life as you are, none of them are worth losing you.” He spoke softly. “I’ll never get tired of repeating you’re the only one who exists for me, I have eyes only for you and it will be like this until my last breath. All I want is to see you happy baby, I want to make you happy. The problem wasn't just my friendship with Hailey, I know that, I didn’t pay enough attention to you and I want to make up for every single mistake I made... And…”

You started crying again, just when you thought you had managed to control your emotions and he noticed.

“And I love you so damn much,” he whispered these last words like some sort of spell.

After what seemed like an infinite amount of time to him, you finally looked up at him. He gently wiped away your tears for the umpteenth time, trying not to focus on how painful it was to see you like that.

“To say these two months have been hell is an understatement,” you sobbed, but still tried to speak, “I've been so angry at you Jay.”

“I know and you have every right to.”

“Every single day I hoped you’d knock on my door and say these exact words to me. Why didn't you do it? God Jay, I would’ve gotten back with you before I even let you talk. Why didn't you fight for us?”.

His heart broke into a thousand little pieces. “Because I'm a stupid piece of shit. I know you won't believe me but I was scared as fuck. I've come here so many times, actually, but I've never had the courage to knock on the door.”

“Really?”.

He nodded mentally smacking himself for his stupidly as he could’ve avoided to both of you months of suffering. “Yes, I was scared to face you. I was afraid you’d tell me it was forever over and you didn't want to have anything to do with me anymore, I honestly wouldn't have been able to survive something like that. As twisted or dumb as it sounds, I had the hope one way or another fate would bring us together again and I was afraid that if you told me no then this hope would die.”

“What made you come here today?”.

“Seeing you this morning reminded me of everything I had lost. In reality, Adam also helped me knock some sense in me but, well... I realized I don't want to cry anymore and that I want to do everything to get you back.”

You looked at him for a few moments in silence, studying his words and his wonderful features.

“I’ll fight for us Y/n, I can't be without you anymore, I feel like I'm going crazy.”

“I don't want you to think it's all your fault though, it's not.”

“Indeed it is…”

“No. It was also my fault, I shouldn't have given up so quickly, I should’ve trusted you a little bit more and explained myself better, be more patient and give you the time to understand my feelings and demanded to fix them immediately, without thinking you too had to adapt your own thoughts to mine. I was selfish too Jay.”

Jay looked at you with so much intensity and so fervently it suddenly made you feel small and naked under his eyes. He looked at you as if he wanted to get under your skin, he looked at you like a painter looks at his own work of art, like a sculptor looked at his own creation. He looked at you with so much love and sweetness this alone would’ve been enough to make you fall into a thousand pieces.

God, how much you missed the way he looked at you. As if you were the only one in the world, as if you were the most beautiful of the seven wonders of the world, as if you were everything his eyes wanted to see. This was what you missed, what you wanted: feeling like you were the only one for him.

“Don't slap me but I want to kiss you so fucking bad right now,” he whispered, fearing your reaction but at the same time unable to hold his tongue.

You let out a small chuckle through your tears as you dried them and straightened your back. You would’ve been lying if you said you didn't want him to jump on you.

“I'd like to see you try.”

“Oh don't tempt me sweetheart. I could make you squirm under me in less than five minutes if I wanted.”

Please just say yes baby.

You let out a louder laugh this time and threw one of the sofa cushions at him, especially because he was completely right and it wasn't something you wanted to find out at that moment.

He let out a mock cry of pain even though inside he was exploding with joy. He didn't know if it was more the fact you had thrown the pillow at him and actually jokes with him or because he finally heard you laugh. He was almost tempted to tickle you even though you hated it just so he could make you laugh and record the sound and set the recording as the ringtone on his cell phone.

Did he already say he loved you so fucking much he couldn't breathe?

“I'm scared Jay.” You whispered as the air became serious again. He moved closer to you and took your hand, drawing imaginary circles on its back with his thumb, a gesture he used to do to comfort you.

“I know, but I'll make it worth it. I never want to spend a day without you again, I’ll give you the world. I promise,” he whispered as his eyes caressed your face in a little dance, observing your features and every peculiarity of your beautiful skin. “I can't even tell you in words how much I love you Y/n. Just… Just tell me what you want and I'll give it to you. You want me to get on the roof and jump? I'll do it. Do you want me to blow up some buildings? Give me the address. I’m begging you…”

You chuckled again and he felt victorious for managing to make you smile again. He left out the part where he would actually do anything he just said.

“I love you to death Jay, more than you could ever imagine…” you murmured “And I'm so scared because if... If it doesn't work I won't be able to go through this again,” you paused for a second. “I don't have the strength. I never want to experience anything like that again, I would rather shoot myself.”

“No, no, no, no, this will never happen. There will never be an 'if it doesn't work' again. I'm here to stay and I want to make you the happiest you've ever been, please Y/n, I can't be without you anymore.”

He placed his free hand on your cheek and before your brain could even process it, your body had already responded and you found yourself leaning against his touch.

You looked at each other for few moments, still not believe all of this was real.

“I want us to take it slow. We went too fast the first rime we got together thinking we knew each other well because we were friends before. I want to know the real you, and I want you to really know me.”

“Yes, yes, yes, fuck yes, whatever you want baby,” he replied so quickly he embarrassed himself while he felt his heart beating so fast it was most likely going to explode.

“Or maybe it's better that we just be friends again. It seemed to work just fine,” you decided to tease him and the look of pure horror and shock that crossed his face was priceless. You so badly wished you could take a photo of him in that moment.

“I know you're taking the piss out of me right now, but you and I could never be friends again, never, ever, ever, again.”

“Why?”.

“You’re seriously asking me why? Have you heard any of the words I just said?” He raised an eyebrow and you shrugged, trying not to laugh. “Because there hasn’t been a single day where you were just a friend to me. I have loved you much longer than you’ll ever know baby, so no. Absolutely no friends.”

You bit your cheek to try and suppress a smile but it was in vain, Jay realized it before you could even try to hide it from him and he had to suppress the urge to kiss you right now and there.

“That's not what you should say when you're taking things slowly, you know?”.

He sighed. “You're going to torture me aren't you?”.

You nodded and his eyes lit up like a Christmas tree as they looked at you and he swore if you looked closely you could see his pupils had turned into a heart shape.

“Baby, I'd let you tie me naked to a pole and in the middle of a storm if that's what you wanted, don't even play with me right now.”

You laughed, your heart now lighter.

You didn't know if you were doing the right thing, if you had reacted hastily and without thinking but at that moment you didn't care. After all, that’s how love was: it was irrational, unconditional, vulnerable, overwhelming, it was messy. You couldn't just follow a plan or predict what to do.

You were aware you were taking an immense risk, that you were risking hurting yourself again in a deep and irreparable way but you wanted to have a little more faith in him. You had always wanted that intense love worthy of fairy tales and you knew he was the only one who’d be able to give it to you even if it meant facing the unknown and the possibility of suffering again.

And the more you looked at Jay, the more you were convinced this was a risk you were willing to take.

General tag list: @hngbrooks, @alexxavicry, @mrspeacem1nusone, @halstead-severide-fan, @allivzs, @omniaimy, @cursedashes

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[nipuni]

Doctor Who report!! We are all caught up with NuWho and in time to watch the new season when it comes out!! mission accomplished, It took us around 6 months total and we loved every minute of it 🥰

Now that we have watched all eras I can share our tastes and opinions nobody asked for under the cut 😌

We can confidently say RTD's era is our favourite and for Doctors 10 (and 14) followed by 12, but honestly there isn't a single Doctor (or Master!) that we didn't love.

We've also started rewatching the first four seasons now with more context and there is just something so special about them. They almost feel like a different show from all the later ones. The silliness and the way the story doesn't take itself seriously at all until all of a sudden it does and then the pain hits you twice as hard because of it. How with just with a line or deed and it's implications the Doctor can be so unbelievably inspiring. The way the narrative seems to place you in the role of a companion trying to catch up with the Doctor and figure him out yet never quite managing to do so creates this distance but also admiration and reverence in you too and you can't help but adore him flaws and all. It has just the right amount of room for every side character and relationship to develop and feel human and the right amount of exposition to keep the pace quick and don't hold your hand. The glimpses behind the doctor's cheerful childish façade into an unsettling calculating alienness and immeasurable trauma but also a weary wisdom. The complete selflessness to the point of martyrdom. The reckless irresponsible acts of devotion from both the companions and the Doctor. The near apotheosis of the companions the closer they get to him. The contagious feeling of awe and wonder and hope for life. The way it's so unabashedly centered around love of every kind 😭 ARGHH I don't know man there is nothing like it!! Ultimate comfort show for us, just.. healing really. There is so much more I can say and gush about but I'd be here typing all day so I'll draw more about it instead!! We would also like to get started on classic Who soon! and try to get our hands on the audio episodes and comic books and all the extra stuff as well 😊

We also watched more David Tennant works since the last report!

Blackpool was hilarious, infuriating and horny, the singing was a choice but overall so fun!! The Escape Artist was great, very sad and tense, would have loved for it to be longer, these miniseries are always so good but so short!! Mad to be Normal is so underrated? we enjoyed it a lot!! RD Laing's portrayal was so compelling, it's beautifully shot and the 60's setting is really immersive and well done. Einstein and Eddington was also really good, incredibly accurate historical setting!! the costuming was fantastic, one of the best I've seen!! These last two films are biographical and sort of no plot just vibes so maybe this is why they are not everyone's cup of tea but we enjoyed them very much. David just never misses, I'm sure we can watch anything with him in it and we will love it no matter what lmao what a guy 😭

Anyway that's all for now! I hope you are all doing well, spring/autumn is almost here! best bits of the year 😊

#DW report #doctor who #personal

[halevren]

FHJY Spoilers || my live thoughts as I watch episode 3

Had a rough week so far, I am looking forward to this episode ♡

HIIIIII INTREPID HEROES

NAT 20

please bring ayda back this episode (begging) (I know it won't happen. but I'm desperate)

ZELDA AND GORGUG BREAK UP CONFIRMED.....

I am experiencing so much gender envy from literally everyone at the table.

The art team really pulled out all the stops for this season. The dome backdrop is so good

THIRTY INVESTIGATION?!!!??!

"Of course you and Adaine, of course, are... Nerds."

"Not ideal for the bad kids" oh no.

Lone Wolf Bloodrush player. That's oc material fr

"I like getting friends cast on me so I willingly fail" fig becomes more and more relatable every episode

"IT'S 10 AND I GIVE YOU THE HELP ACTION"

LYDIA!!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥

LYDIA MADE THEM LUNCH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

THE EMO SONG 😭😭😭

It just says "Hey Adaine" on the inside 😭😭

Cloaca.....

how many binders do the Thistlesprings have

"Can I Run From You?"

Just Breathe

CHLOE SHORT FOR CLOACA

I love the casual conversation they have

TWO GLASSES OF MILK

"I'll walk you to Bard class" fig probably won't be staying 😭

NEW LUNCH LAD!!!!!

I hope Fig's luck issue gets resolved soon 😭

MAZEY IS SO PRETTY

Grix...??

THE PARROTS.....

omg mazey x fabian?!!?!?!????!?!?!!?!

A SECRET CLOACA WITH A GUN??

Jawbone is so filled with dad lore

Kristen class president is something I need

21 passive investigation is insane

"What are you, like 4 different dogs?"

Passive Aggressive Kristen is so good.

Ghost steaks 🔥

FABIAN FLIRTING

"You're looking at a party boy" oh fabian....

I think Kristen working to be class president will convince her to. Go to school and work on getting better at it

Gilear 😢 I miss my pathetic wet cat of a man

fig writer's block so relatable

Stressed Riz

WANDA CHILDA

HEYYYYYY GIRLIE

I miss Ayda

Porter is kinda.... ♡

Why is everyone so attractive why must I be attracted to all the adults. im supposed to have a type

"I'm going into a worry, yeah"

Fig taking Fabian to the wizard class instead of bard class is so real

TERPSICHORE SKULLCLEAVER!!!!!! she looks like she bakes incredible cookies. I can't dance but I want to be in her class

THIRTY-ONE????????? PERFORMANCE

Dance bard class is so cool

From Jock to Arsty kid, I love Fabian's character development so much

"I'm going to do a lot less partying" a full lie from Fabian

I need more Riz and Jawbone one on ones

KRISTEN CHILLIS APPLEBEES 😭😭😭😭

oh no the Applebees fam are here oh no...

Ripped Kristen approaching her parents.....

oh no. oh no. oh no.

Not good what is going on with Cassandra

MAKE HER OWN PEOPLE TO TALK TO?!!!??!???!??!?? WHAT???????? WHAT WHAT WHAT????

ALLY IS SO CASUAL WITH NAT 20S 😭

HE'S A LITTLE PALADIN....

BYE GIRLIE

RIZ HAS A BACKUP TIE

why is sorcery so expensive

SHE'S NOT GOING TO TELL JAWBONE 😭

oh god Wanda Childa....

"what smell would be enticing to emo kids" 😭😭😭

"Did you just come from a room full of cigarettes and peach schnapps" "you mean breakfast?"

I wanda'd in

NOT ALL WHO WANDA ARE LOST

SITTING OUTSIDE AND LISTENING TO BARD CLASS

watching Kristen deal with school and stuff and deal with Cassandra makes me slightly uncomfortable. not in a bad way but in a way that I relate to it a bit too much and it's a bit too real. i too had extreme trouble with school and I also have issues with pushing important people away when trying to focus on myself and it ruins a lot of my relations. I relate to Kristen too much in the worst ways and that hits closer to home than I like. I love Kristen but man. Too close

"Things can be bad, and things can be good, but they all can be true."

I worry about Kristen going to Cassandra's realm. I am going into a worry. I have bad feeling.

the sound design is so good

GENTLE SOBBING.... OH NO. OH NO.

"I can't rely on you." OUCH.

she already found somebody????

KALINA!?!?!?! !!??!?!?!!!???!??!!??!!???!!???!?? HUHHHHH?!!??!!

IT'S LEAVING IT OFF WITH THAT?????? WHAT THE FUCK???????? WHAT THE FUCK???????????????????????? WHAT?????

#fantasy high junior year spoilers #fhjy spoilers #fantasy high spoilers #d20 #dimension 20 #fantasy high #d20 fantasy high #dimension 20 fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #fig faeth #fabian seacaster #riz gukgak #kristen applebees #adaine o'shaughnessey #adaine abernant

[hoes4hoseok]

txt reacts: you’re preparing for finals

boyfriend!txt x gn!reader requested by :: @unlocktxt (thanks for requesting, babes!) beta reader :: @goldenhypen (thank you for your feedback :) author’s note :: writing this was genuinely so fun and managed to relax me while i was actually losing my mind over finals 😭. dhmu about how inconsistent the tenses are i know they're bad HAHA i hope you guys enjoy and good luck to everyone taking finals now or soon! warnings :: a lot of food and eating habits talk,, i think that's it though. lmk if i need to add anything.

soobin

soobin would be so sweet while you were prepping for finals

if you were struggling with something that he didn’t understand, he’d literally spend 15 minutes on the computer with a pen & paper in hand trying to figure it out 

&& then he’d call you over to explain it but get confused in the middle 

but by that time you’d understand & explain it to him (◡‿◡✿)

you’d probably have many visits to the library since it’s more quiet (& less messy) there than the dorms

you’d also share earbuds while you worked

every once in a while, amongst the slow tracks, a random banger like ‘that that’ by psy would play & the two of you would be sent into a fit of laughter that you tried so hard to contain

luckily, the librarian never busted you

although it did earn a few looks from elsewhere in the room (whoops)

he’s also definitely the type of boyfriend who makes you really good tea

&& it probably became a very important part of your day (because how could it not?! the tea was amazing)

he would prioritize sleep quite a bit, so lights are off for him by 11 every night during finals week

&& that rubbed off on you!

the days would end with an episode of your favorite show playing on his laptop while you drifted off to sleep on his bed together (。-ω-)zzz 

stress be gone!

yeonjun

if you were in a long distance relationship with yeonjun, you & him would have planned for him to fly in the night your finals ended 

but yeonjun found a cheaper flight for the week before :) so naturally, he bought it!

he was so excited to surprise you, especially because he knew how stressed out you were from the several late night facetime calls you had 

&& you were indeed happy to see your boyfriend at your doorstep with takeout from your favorite restaurant in hand

it improved your week tenfold just seeing his face (ꉺᗜꉺ)

he, on the other hand, while happy to see you, was shocked to see how poorly you had been taking care of yourself

considering the dark circles under your eyes & the fact that you were in pajamas at 3 pm,, he knew something was off

&& you, as every student does at one point or another, were living on instant ramen & cereal — he could tell from the state of your dorm alone (╯•﹏•╰)

you didn’t plan for him to find out because he tends to worry about you a lot <3 (SORRY JUN)

&& the ‘less than 6 hours of sleep during finals week’ thing was pretty standard for people at your school

“eat with me” ( •_•)

he set the bag down on your table & looked at you with the playfully threatening stare that you had missed so much

“then i’m getting groceries while you nap” he continued, looking over at your kitchen area

oh wow had you missed your boyfriend

it only came to you when you felt as helpless & overwhelmed as right now

but you needed him. & so, you pulled him in for a tight hug, cutting off his mumbles about the lack of fruit in your kitchen (づ ◕‿◕ )づ

oh, how he loved you <3

beomgyu

beomgyu would not want you to overwork yourself. obviously.

but,, if you were gonna be pulling all nighters & working your butt off, so was he

y’all are in this TOGETHER (｡-_-｡ )人( ｡-_-｡)

he strikes me as the type to know those random life hacks so he might come to you excited with studying ones HEHE

like he’d tell you to chew a different flavor of gum while studying & then chew it again during the exam so you can remember the content better

&& ofc you’d comply to make him happy, but a few of them definitely helped you!

you two probably made plans to go on a little getaway together after the semester ended

so whenever you seemed particularly down, he’d remind you that you’d be miles away from all this in just a week :)

beomgyu is 100% the one making ramen runs to the kitchen (he made sure to stock up before finals week!)

&& he makes yours with the little modifications that you like, whether it’s extra spice, an egg, or some chopped vegetables – he’s got it all

he’s got flashcards, he’s got tea, he’s got hugs…& he’s also an absolute pain in your side when it comes to sleep

ಠಿ_ಠ “it’s 1:30…you said you’d sleep at 1:00” 

he’d have to physically pull you away from your work sometimes 

it wasn’t hard either because you were so tired that your eyes were closing

he’d probably sleep in the mornings of your exams,, but would slice some fruit for you to eat before going to bed

&& leave a little note of encouragement on a sticky note with a couple sticks of gum next to it :)

“good luck. you’re gonna ace this test. love you ♡”

taehyun

you & taehyun had a whole finals prep schedule planned out. this man was not about to let you fail any of your classes or fail any himself

so, your finals prep started at least a month early

he’d be up at seven am shaking you awake & threatening to pour his water on you ʘ‿ʘ

even though he knew you’d tackle him to the floor if he actually poured it 

once you finally rose, he’d give you a quick forehead kiss & push you off towards the bathroom to brush your teeth

you’d eat breakfast & start working relatively quickly

the two of you quickly realized that the pomodoro method worked best for you – finishing a task in 25 minutes, taking a five minute break, & repeating three times before taking a 20 to 30 minute break (y’all should try it frfr)

by noon, you’d be internally thanking him for waking you,, bc as much as you hated to admit it,, you are definitely more productive in the morning

&& on taehyun’s plan, you were actually getting enough sleep somehow?

&& he definitely had special allocated time slots in the schedule for personal time & date nights so that you two wouldn’t get burnt out

the routine definitely got harder to keep up with as finals inched closer & he could tell 

so he took you for a much-needed massage the day before finals started to destress (°◡°♡)

&& as expected, y’all would CRUSH finals week

he’d be so proud <3 but also he knew you would succeed bc of how hard you worked!

[honestly this is such a dream. i made taehyun my dream bf in this LMFAO but hey he already is so…]

hueningkai

hueningkai would be there for you during your breaks. sure, he’d help you with the flashcards if you asked him, but he’d support you most by making you smile!

he’d make sure there’s always food in the fridge, especially if your schedules didn’t line up & he couldn’t eat with you

hueningkai would also give GREAT back massages & it’s all because he would NOT hold back ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ no knots would be left when he’s done

&& he’d probably also put on your favorite show or music while he did it which would be really odd at first, but you’d grow to appreciate it hehe 

he’d also go on a walk with you every night to help you unwind 

that would always do you wonders, especially after being cooped up inside all day 

it would also be a time when the two of you could finally talk about something other than everything stressing you out (because boy, had it become all-consuming)

on the mornings of your finals, he’d walk you to class & buy you your favorite drink with a bagel or donut on the way

if you got really anxious before going in, he’d hold your hand tightly & tell you to take deep breaths

&& to remember that you’re prepared & that one test will not matter in the grand scheme of things

he’d also send you in with a hug & a peck on the cheek. (´ ᴗ｀✿)

masterlist

#hoes4hoseok #txt 🤞 #tomorrow x together #choi yeonjun #yeonjun #soobin txt #yeonjun txt #tomorrow x together reactions #txt reactions #txt fluff #txt imagines #hueningkai txt #hueningkai #taehyun #kang taehyun #beomgyu #choi beomgyu #soobin #choi soobin #beomgyu txt #taehyun txt #tomorrow x together fluff #soobin fluff #yeonjun fluff #beomgyu fluff #taehyun fluff #hueningkai fluff #txt headcannons

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Costume meta 6x10

Costume metas are back baby!!!! I’m so happy to be back writing these - you have no idea how much i missed writing them. This one is not quite as full on as my normal metas and has taken me far longer than I’d intended - if you’ve been following my posts over the last couple of days you will be fully aware of my insanity spiral over the Eddie of it all (as well as poker Buddie!) so I hope you’ll forgive me - I’ve not had the mental capacity I normally do to dedicate to costume spiralling!

No Eddie this week as he only appeared in uniform 😭 

A couple of more general things to point out - the use of Check - we see it on Nathaniel Greene and Phillip Buckley - which I think is a very interesting and loud choice considering this episode was all about fathers and fatherhood and the two fathers who are not all that (Mr Han is also in that number but his grey on grey suit was a deliberate choice that I will talk about in a minute) are the ones wearing check and tapping right on into my check theory!!! So Nathaniel is going to find himself in hot water very soon so the check is foreshadowing this for him. Philip (and Margaret as well actually!) in check is also foreshadowing whatever is about to go down with the Buckley parents (that happy family facade they’ve been putting on is about to crack big time!).

Grey is one of those colours that can be either warm grey (like we often see on Buck) or cool grey (which we have here on Mr Han) and that affects which meanings you attribute to it. Mr Han in double grey just about sums him up as a person - cold, conservative and controlling. Its also a colour that conveys gloom and frustration when worn in multiple like this, there is also the fact that ill people are often described as looking grey - which leads me to think that Mr Han being terminally ill is actually very likely!

The other thing I want to point out is the red harnesses - I know I don’t talk about the uniforms all that much except when there is something important an interesting in relation to them and this is very much that! Chim, Buck and Eddie are the ones we see in the red belt harnesses. Chimney removes his after Buck stakes his claim on it being his turn to go up the ladder and Chimney steps back from ladder detail. The reason I point this out is because its a very bright visual way of identifying and connecting both the fact that Chimney also has a red string of fate connected to Buck (I’m talking about family here and I know that technically all the firefam have strings of fate connecting them, but in this specific incidence its about the brotherly connection - the parallel to Kevin and Albert) which is relevant at that first moment but then the focus needs to shift. Eddie and Buck become the only ones distinguishable in the pouring rain - the only ones tied by that red string of fate - even when (and especially) when Buck is on the gurney.

over to our mains - below the cut to save your dashes!

Athena and May

I’m doing the two of them together this week because they are the costume version of yin and yang!

The silk blouse has a monstera leaf print - monstera symbolises suffocation in western culture which is a perfect symbol for this story arc - suppressing of evidence or information because of money etc. the use of navy red and white is also interesting - its very much a hint towards patriotism - a deliberate choice to play into the upperclass America vibe they’re claiming to be part of! 

Mays two main costumes are costumes themselves - they aren’t representative of who May is or her character, the are the clothes of the character she’s playing - Jada. As outfits for Jada - they are very much playing to type - teenager with issues who’s rebelling against straight laced parents - Both Athenas and Mays outfits work perfectly in sync with each other as the anthesis of the other. Mays are both in the same tonal range - burnt dusty reds, washed out blue greys and beiges - all in the same colour spectrum as Athenas ‘costume’ but tonally at the oposite end - where mays are dark and muted, Ahtenas are bright and bold

in the middle of the undercover work we get a reminder of who they really are - Athenas generally more muted palette - her comfort colour choices of black and olive khaki green, while May is back in her bold and bright blocks of colour. Perfectly summing up that while Athena is playing a role that is not a million miles away from who she is (and channeling a bit of Beatrice in the process because that blouse is a Beatrice blouse in every way!), Athena also tends to wear the olive khaki colour on top when she’s investigating something outside of work - and by this I don’t just mean full blown investigating, I also mean low key - clocking something is going on with a member of the extended firefam and she’s paying attention. May is at the opposite end of the spectrum from Jada! I’ve talked about May wearing this sugary bright pink before in season 5 and the scene here is somewhat of a parallel to the one in 5x15- youthful and considered feminine but also compassionate and caring. It is sensitive and intuitive. All things we see in this scene - May is using her intuition about Tamara and her being a ‘weak link’ that will get some information. We also see her showing compassion for Bobby in this scene.

Bobby

keeping it simple for Bobby this week - just the one outfit and its supposed to essentially blend in with his uniform - we see him working on things related to the wildfire that Wendell died in both at the station while in actual uniform, and then at home with Athena and May (as an aside the fact that we see bobby with his family esp his stepdaughter and then with Buck and no other members of the fire fam is very telling!!) - it’s all signalling Bobby is in work mode even when he’s at home.

Hen

If there was ever a cardigan to signal the fact that Hen is puzzled by Denny’s behaviour and new interests - this one is very definitely it - it literally has neutral face emojis all over it 😐😐😐 which are often used to convey mild irritation and concern - both things Hen is clearly feeling in this scene. Red is also a colour associated with both anger and and love - we know Hen loves Denny, but its very likely that there will be anger down the line when she discovers what Denny has been up to. This jumper also fits with my check theory - it is a big checkerboard - so its foreshadowing for the upcoming Denny issues!

I’m going to say something here which is being used as a narrative device - Hen is wearing maroon, because she is in the ‘male’ or ‘father’ parent role at this moment - I don’t prescribe to the concept of queer parents fitting into gender stereotypes of parenting (that theres a fatherly one and a motherly one!) nor do I believe sport is a fathers domain but in this particular instance the wardrobe team are playing into a costume theme they’ve developed - namely that maroon is the colour worn when (mostly male) characters are being fatherly in someway. It is implied in this scene and the one in the firehouse, that Hen is the one who has been the one mostly supporting Denny in his sporting interests - football (sorry soccer - Im British its football 😂) initially and now she wants to be supportive in his baseball interest. 

Not a costume thing, but I think its interesting and its costume adjacent, but I love the fact they’ve chosen two very different sports - one played with hands, the other with feet and the one Denny is taking up is the one where curveballs are a thing!

Denny

Or should I be calling him ‘D’?? 

we have this blue and black shirt - I have to confess my brain went off in 6 different directions on this one. Firstly there is the fact that its not that disimilar to what Christopher is wearing when Eddie catches him talking to his friends online late at night - the colours are different but the use of patterning is similar and the fact that Chris and Denny have paralleling story arcs is very 👀👀 It also ties Denny in with Hen as she also wears a lot of patterning similar to this. then there is the fact its black and blue - what is the first thing you think of when you say black and blue - being beaten up - potentially foreshadowing - not necessarily for a physical beating, more likely for the psychological bruising ahead. there is also the Rorschach test and camouflage elements as well. All in all its a shirt that speaks of secrecy pyschological trauma and trouble ahead!

This tee has me feeling all levels of insane. We have green for growth and renewal- its a bright green too, so its really reenforcing that idea. Then there is the design - a leopard in a jungle setting which is so many metaphors all rolled into one - the obvious ones of the jungle being dangerous, leopards not changing their spots and hiding in pain sight. But there are a few others - camouflage, the fact that leopards are nocturnal and solitary, they are also opportunistic. Then theres the jungle - jungles as well as being dangerous places, are also dense and in places impenetrable, they are overgrown and tangled. All of these things speaks volumes about what is going on with Denny right now, and the fact that he’s getting himself deeper and deeper into the jungle where opportunistic animals are waiting to strike. It a really clever use of imagery in graphic tee design to convey information and its something the show does a lot with the kids clothing!

Chimney

some really interesting stuff going on with Chimney in this episode - namely the fact that he’s wearing check - all the time, as well as the fact we get him in this lovely burnt orange colour!

Starting with the check - I’ve said it a million times and I’ll probably say it a million more, but the check is foreshadowing trouble ahead - in this instance its the unexpected arrival of the Han’s. The button down shirt under the jumper is maroon and burnt orange check - maroon is the colour of fatherhood in 911 verse so the maroon is a nod to that, both the fact that Chimney is a father (and a good one), but also that his father is the trouble ahead! While the orange - well orange is the colour of optimism, enthusiasm and emotional strength - the perfect colour for Chim in this scene - he’s being optimistic about what having the Buckleys to visit will be like - that together he and Maddie can get through anything. This opening outfit for 6b also shows us that Chim is in a much stronger place - things are going well for him - life is good and that has given him confidence and placed him in a better place emotionally.

then we get this blue check button down shirt - its light blue and a darker blue, and again the check is portending doom. I don’t want to make this all about Buck, (becasue it isn’t) but, the fact we see Chim in a blue check specifically while the Buckleys and Hans argue over Bucks sperm donation is super interesting. Its not only foreshadowing that Buck - who is also in blue, is about to come to harm in the place that was very nearly chimneys (as inBuck going up the ladder instead of Chim). It is also hinting at the fact that Chimney and his father (who is incidentally also in a blue shirt) are on a collision course. This check is about foreshadowing the two opposite disasters/ issues heading Chimneys way - the fact that he is about to potentially lose a brother - and one that has taken the place he was supposed to be in. That Chimney is going to have to reckon with the guilt and grief that causes - making this shirt about Chim’s connection to Buck but also connected to the idea of another man raising a child - much of Chimneys trauma stems from that very issue - he was raised by Mr Lee, had Kevin who was a brother in all but blood - who died in a work related accident and now he’s going to go through the same thing with Buck. the whole thing is setting up for Chimneys trauma to come and hit pretty hard - which all goes back to his own blood father - which is why we see Buck and Sang in the two very different blues and chimney in the check of both of them.

Maddie & Jee-Yun

Maddie going for full on black is such a choice! Black is a power colour, its sophisticated and mysterious, while also being authoritative and protective. It is also a colour of rebirth which is really important here for Maddie. This is a Maddie who is in the best possible place right now, but her choice to wear all black for the arrival of her parents is all about her wanting to but on a display of power while at the same time protecting herself and her family (Chim, Jee and Buck) its very much fake it till you make it - its not necessarily about her having power/control (which she does), but about the appearance of it.

This is about her rebirth as a person and as a mum and her showing that rebirth to those who have judged her in her life. 

the purple suit and bright blue top are an interesting choice. The jewel tones exude happiness and contentment. I’ve spoken before about how we often see characters in these brighter versions of colours when they’re in a good place or having fun (think of the times we’ve seen Athena in bright jewel colours, or even Buck) and here we see Maddie embracing that her daughter is having fun with her grandparents and her family is all together and not fighting or distant from one another - don’t forget this is likely the fist time she has experienced this ever. The purple blazer is in line with other things we’ve seen on Maddie this season - we’ve seen her in bright purple before. Purple is a really interesting choice to me because so much of its meaning is connected to mystery, but also the understanding of ones self better, building and strengthening emotional connections to our deepest thoughts and desires. its such a choice for this scene - the happy family Maddie wants, has wanted all her life and hasn’t had in her grasp until now, but also the Daniel of it all - that she is now free to talk about her brother, to share her knowledge of him and that she has been able to actually sit in her grief and come to terms with it. It’s a really powerful choice for her and speaks so much about how far Maddie has come.

Look I love love love what the show does with the kids clothes - its always so on point for the scene - and this Baby Jee tee is no exception. ‘Shapes I know’ - a literal point at the fact that families can look different - they come in different shapes and thats something Jee ‘knows’ and is experiencing. It’s literally one of the cornerstones of he show - that families look different and come in a multitude of shapes and sizes and in this scene the show is very much pointing out that the Buckley parents and Han parents don’t really understand that in any great depth. The Buckleys are only being supportive and nice when it suits them - when they’re in front of others and can be judged - creating a fantasy of a loving and supportive family to the outside world - while behind closed doors - they’re not really interested and are in fact the complete opposite. The Han’s have a very rigid view on family and that there is only one type of family (I’m expecting Sang Han to make some comment about Jee being born outside of marriage etc at some point) and anything that doesn’t conform to that isn’t acceptable.  

Buck

I so desperately wan to quiz the wardrobe department on the choice to have Buck in trousers that sit two inches above his ankle. 

You can’t see them in either of these pictures, but Buck is still wearing trousers far too short for his legs and its making me insane. I know Oliver has stupidly long legs, but its not like they don’t have the budget to get trousers made and tailored to fit him. I mean its been this way since season 2 and everything is intentional so they must have decided on it as a character thing but I for one cannot figure out what its supposed to tell us about him - the only thinking I’ve managed to come up with is that he’s stuck in this liminal space between child and adult - not really one or the other (because of the saviour baby and not knowing about it of it all) so its a play on the historic idea of breeching and short trousers! It’s literally the only reason I can think of as to why they would do this. Especially because the outfit he is wearing in his coma dream he’s wearing trousers that fit his leg length which only proves to me that its intentional!

If we see Buck figure things out this season and we then see him start wearing longer trousers going forwards - ones that are actually the right length for his legs I might actually ascend to the astral plane!!!

This green top continues the theme of seeing Buck in either blues or this light green shade - it echoes both the polo shirt from 6x07 when he made his donation, and the one he wore to the Ren Faire in 6x08 and continues to prove my theory about the use of these green shirts on Buck - the colour might not have gotten darker, but the fact its still the same light shade and we’ve had no further progress (in terms of where Buck is at mentally - the pregnancy is obviously progressing!) at this point in time - we know he’s wearing gree ni the coma - and its a darker/brighter shade - hinting that progress- growth etc is happening and that the coma will be the catalyst for that growth to start - I fully expect to see Buck in more green as the season progresses and to see it getting deeper and brighter as we go along.

I have so many thoughts about this dark navy blue shirt we see Buck wearing for the Buckley-Han showdown. Its yet more Buck in shades of blue - forget 50 shades of grey Buck is all about 50 shades of blue (I think were up to 12 blue tops now for him this season and the next highest colour he wears is green with 3)!!  theres the uniform aspect of it all - a bit like Bobby in this episode as well, but for Buck its almost like wearing the uniform gives him confidence and strength - superhero style - something he feels he needs to go through another experience with his parents. 

There is something to be said about the use of blues at opposite ends of the spectrum on Buck - from the light pastel blues to this dark navy almost black blue, almost like Buck is oscillating between where he’s at mentally - projecting confidence, reliability, loyalty and trustworthiness, while also suggesting that internally he is struggling - blue is also a colour depression and suppression. We have to remember that Buck is still trying to figure out who he is, what he wants and how to be at ease with himself and so the use of both dark and light blues speaks of the duality of Buck right now. I bring this up because looking back through my costume plots for each character its become obvious that this season its very much deliberate - all his blue outfits in previous seasons have been within a much smaller spectrum of colour - wearing blue but all similar in shade - tending toward bright blue or navies!

If you’ve made it to the end then I thank you - have a cookie on me 🍪🍪🍪 we all deserve them after that episode and we’re going to need out strength for next weeks!!

I hope you’ve enjoyed my deep dive ramblings on costume for 6x09 - drop me a reblog or a comment to let me see your thoughts - I love reading them!!

As always tagged people below - if anyone wants to be added (or removed from) to the list please let me know in the comments!

Until next week (when I have a feeling I might be being set up for a very very long meta post 😬😬😬) 

@mistmarauder @theladyyavilee @loveyourownsmiilee @leothil @girldadbuddie @kitkatpancakestack  @buckscurls @lemotmo @trashendence @elishareads  @clipboardsandstethoscopes @comfortbuddie @fiona-fififi  @callanee @calyssmarviss @pbandjeremiah @batgrldes  @spotsandsocks  @livingwherethesidewalkends  @idontshitpostbuttheolympicpark @diazboysbuckley @sweettsubaki @shortsighted-owl @sherlocking-out-loud @dickley-buddie  @favouritealias @hearteyesdiaz  @ktinastrikesback  @princesschez75 @bucksbuddie @oneawkwardcookie  @leatherat @moniquekatie @wanderingwomanwondering  @trickster-archangel @outrunningthedark @asharadaine @ajunerose  @talespinner230 @pop-kam @swiftiebuckleys @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @butchjerry @mandzuking17 @yelenasbuddie​ @copyninjabuckley​ @name-code-black-widow​​ @rogerzsteven​

#kym costume meta #911 costume meta #911 meta #kym talks costumes #season 6 costumes #911 costumes #911 on fox #911 fox #911onfox #911 colour theory #Athena Grant #Bobby Nash #May grant #Chimney Han #Maddie Buckley #Hen Wilson #Jee-Yun Buckley-Han #Denny Wilson #Buck #evan 'buck' buckley

[svfttachi]

Would you be able to write a oneshot or some headcanons for Kuroko x reader where reader is always hugging him from behind and giving him butterfly kisses while he's just standing there straight face? The episode at the pool where Momoi is shaking him back and forth cracks me up. "he's got the looks and personality of old drywall" 😭

wc — 312

type — kuroko tetsuya x gn!reader

tw — n/a

✎ pls, these cute requests are too much, and i go overboard a little. but that's a good thing! actually, this specific request makes me miss actively watching knb. kinda want to rewatch it... anyway, hope you enjoy!

◃ to knb writings

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

❥ Kuroko Tetsuya’s known for holding a straight, nonchalant expression on his face.

❥ However, only a select few were allowed to see the emotion that is buried deep within his body, and you were one of those people.

❥ Your way of expressing your love for someone is through physical touch.

❥ But the first time you gave your partner, Kuroko, a hug, he froze up immediately.

❥ Before the two of you got together, the only person who’d give him hugs and affection was Momoi, but he saw it as a mere-friendly reaction.

❥ Yet, when you hugged him from either behind or the front, Kuroko wouldn’t understand what to do in that situation, particularly for the first month or so of your relationship.

❥ As time went by, Kuroko grew more comfortable with you, so his reaction is less dramatic than before whenever you give him your back hugs.

❥ Butterfly kisses landing on his cheek on the other hand… that took some time for him to adjust to.

❥ Again, Kuroko wasn’t really big on physical attention before getting together with you, so he, especially, wasn’t used to the sudden, warm feeling overloading his cheeks whenever your lips made contact with them.

❥ It took even longer for him to get used to your surprise kisses than it did for the hugs.

❥ Nonetheless, Kuroko’s back to his neutral appearance whenever you give him the slightest bit of physical attention, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t bubbling with happiness and warmth within.

❥ He may not know how to express it on his face or through his actions properly, but everyday, he tries his best for you.

❥ Occasionally, those small acts of love bring the tiniest hint of a smile to his lips along with a faint blush appearing on his cheeks.

❥ Kuroko Tetsuya may be a shadowy figure to others, but to you… he’s the light in your eyes.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

navigation ✧. ┊ rules

#anime #anime fanfic #anime fanfiction #anime headcanons #fanfic #fanfiction #headcanons #kuroko no basket #kuroko's basketball #knb #knb headcanons #knb x you #knb x reader #knb x y/n #kuroko tetsuya #tetsuya #kuroko #kuroko x you #kuroko x reader #kuroko tetsuya x reader #kuroko fluff #tetsuya fluff #tetsuya x you #back hugs #butterfly kisses #nonchalant #old drywall

[kichikichiko]

Accepting the loss of your animal companion

A/N: hey everyone! I originally wanted to make this as animal friendly ad possible (meaning u could put in animal you want while u read) but there are so many different types of pets ranging for furry creatures or those who shed skin so it was so hard my bad :((

The Tighnari part of this headcanon is for all but written specifically for @hitomisuzuya , Suzu I hope you know that youre not alone and you should never ever put the blame of loosing Frank on yourself. Was never your fault and never will be. ALSO IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE A HORSE SO PLS EVERYONE EXCUSE ME 😭

Anyways enjoy reading everyone!!

Tighnari, Kazuha and Thoma (seperate) x gen neutral! Reader, loss of a pet, comfort, fluff, headcanon, Cat for Kazuha, Dog for Thoma and horse for Tighnari, Tighnari was mostly targeted at Suzu, sort of proofread

♡♡♡♡

Tighnari ▪︎ verdant strider

Tighnari and you decided to visit mondstadt one day

Mainly because windblume was coming up and Collei wanted to see Amber again

The 3 of you had such a blast! It has been a while since the 2 of you have visited other nations so this was a well deserved break

Drank together, ate different dishes the city of freedom had to offer together, and made new friends

One day you met the calvary captain of the knights of favonuis while Tighnari was talking to Albedo

The conversation between the 2 of you shifted from work to animals to his title as the calvary captain

"Most of our horses have been taken in by Grandmaster Varka for his expedition however we still have around a few left here in the city just in case we need them" the captain started, "would you like to see them?"

You hesitated, a part of you didnt want to at all. You were afraid you'd break down and start remembering the past

But a part of you also wanted to, you longed to see another horse again

You longed to appreciate the way they strut, the way their mane flows when they jump, the way they look at you when you were getting ready for another competition together

Although their expression was overall the same, when you have a bond with a horse especially a strong one, their emotions as well as yours felt like they were connected

But youve avoided them like the plague

Regretfully, you said yes anyways

Your heart has won against your mind this time around

After a while the sun was about to go down and everyone was getting ready to call it a day

Tighnari and you left Collei with Amber so you both made your way to the inn youre staying at

The walk home was silent and you were staring down at your feet, and you seemed to be in a daze,

You gaze was empty, and there wasnt any hint of sparkle in your eyes

Tighnari noticed something was off so he asked

"Hey are you alright?"

"What? Oh. Uh yeah Im fine" you nodded half heartedly after his sudden question taking you off your train of thoughts

The fox stopped on his track and held your hand

"No something is off, you never look up when youre upset. Tell me whats wrong sunflower, Im here for you"

Your back was still facing him, but he could see your shoulders starting to shake, and you trying to muffle up sobs

You hated crying about this especially in public

You didnt want to remember

Never again

His ears perked up and swiftly he pulled you in for a hug

Before he got the chance to say something, you started

"Horses... I miss my horse Nari. I fucking miss him so much" you started, choking up sobs

"I miss him everyday and when I saw the horses before with Kaeya one of them looked like him and..."

You hid your face in his chest as your sobs started getting louder by the minute

"One of them looked exactly like him. I can't I regret that I wasnt able to save him Nari, Im such a bad companion. I could have done more, I could have SAVED him but I-"

"Hey! (Name)! Thats not true" he cutted you off before you finished your sentence, you were having an episode and it broke him to see you like this

Gently, he took your chin and made you face him

"He would never blame you for what happened. It was out of your control, he is your companion. He would have never placed the blame on you sunflower. It all happened too fast, please believe me when I say this, its not your fault"

You couldnt help but let more tears fall out

Yes you were still upset you lost your dearest companion

But you were also happy to hear those words come out of his mouth

You both stood in the middle of the road hugging for a while, waiting until you calmed down.

You knew it wasnt your fault that your beloved horse was gone, but Tighnari was right

He was always right

Your companion would never have blamed you for what happened to him

You wanted to be around horses again

But realise that the first step to finally be around them comfortably was to be able to accept and heal

And Tighnari will be with you every step of the way

KAZUHA ▪︎ Scarlet Leaves Pursue Wild Waves

You were with Kazuha relaxing together outside enjoying the fresh air

The sun was out bright in Liyue so you both decided to take a stroll before setting out to the sea again on the crux

At some point during your stroll a cat came to you and meowed

You stopped on your feet and looked down to see the cat starting to rub on you affectionatley

You of course bent down to give em some pets

Kazuha realised you werent on his side anymore and looked behind to see you gazing sotfly at the cat while playing with it

He cant help but think you looked cute

He walked towards you and bent down to the same level as you and watched you play with the cat

You broke the silence after a while

"I use to have a cat" still not breaking your gaze away from the cat

Kazuha looked up at you "oh really?"

"Mmhm, (gender) was beautiful, had lushious (colour) fur, ears so cute you could bite em off and eyes that when you stare at them for long enough, you could find yourself falling in love with (gender) again" subconsciously smiling when you said that

You missed your cat truly

They were your best friend

The ronin hesitated for a bit, not sure if he should ask the question that came up on his head

Without him asking you knew what was on his mind

"(Name) passed away not long ago. I was very sad. In fact, I would be lying if I said Ive healed completely" you chuckled, finally looking up at Kazuha smiling a bit

You didnt want to think about negative thoughts when talking about your beloved cat

Because you'd just have a breakdown

Besides, you knew (name) was at peace anyways now

Kazuha stared at you for a while before smiling "Im sure (name) is resting well now, and if (name) was still here Im sure (gender)'d would love all the different places youre seeing right now on your journey"

You laughed "oh almost, I dont think (gender)'d like Sumeru's desert, (name) would make it visibly clear how much (gender)'d hate it"

You both played with the stray cat for another 5 minutes while talking about your cat until the stray finally left

Kazuha would like to raise a kitten with you

So you both could make new memories together

And for him to see the bond grow between you and their future kitten

Thoma ▪︎ Protector from afar

Everytime you both went out together there was one time you'd miss playing with the stray dogs and cats out

Especially stray dogs

You have special attention to them

Whenever Thoma was knitting something for the stray cats you'd request he made one for the dogs as well

Whenever he was going out to feed the dogs and cats you'd always remind him to feed the dogs as well

You loved being around them and they seem to as well

He was in awe with how much bond and trust was between you and the dogs

Its almost as if you have one yourself

He had brought up wanting to raise a puppy with ypu, or adopt one of the stray dogs

But everytime he asked youd politely decline saying you werent interested

He was confused and shocked obviously

I mean you clearly loved the stray dogs so why didnt you want to adopt one?

He had to find out

You were getting ready for bed one night looking at the mirror while brushing your hair when he asked you laying on a futon (youre visiting him)

"Hey love, Ive been meaning to ask you something"

He only continued when you hummed, curious to what he wanted to ask

"Oh its just, I wanna know why you keep rejecting the offer of raising a puppy together or adopting one of the stray dogs. I mean you have such a tight bond with the dogs and you seem to favour them.. I must admit I was a little shocked when you rejected. Oh but Im not forcing you to say yes to my suggestion, if you dont wanna then thats fine its just-" he stopped talking when he saw you facing him

Your face was a little hesitant and your brows were furrowed a bit.

He could tell you were debating wheather or not you wanna tell him

"Oh but if you dont wanna tell me thats okay too love" kinda panicked a bit worried if he asked you a personal question 😭

You chuckled reassuring him it was alright

"No no Thoma its not that, its just.." you trailed off again trying to find the right words

"Im sorry for rejecting your suggestion for raising a puppy together, I think its a wonderful idea but im not ready."

He was about to say something before you continued "I had a dog once (gender) was a (breed of dog), and I named em (name)" you smiled at him, but one thing he noticed was that your smile didnt reach your eyes

"I lost (name) a few (weeks/months/years) ago. Ive been wanting to adopt another dog after (name)... but I just cant. I feel like Im replacing (gender)"

Thoma was mentally kicking and punching himself rn

How could he be so stupid

Of course this was obviously the reason why you rejected his suggestion

He wanted to apologise for asking but he knew you'd bash him and tell him not to apologise

Instead, he decided to get up from the futon and place a kiss on your forehead "could you... tell me more about (name)?"

You smiled and nodded

He always knew how to make you smile

Maybe one day when youre ready, you'll both raise a puppy together like a family

♡♡♡♡

#genshin fanfic #genshin imagines #genshin impact #x reader #genshin fluff #tighnari x reader #kichifanficsfw #genshin headcanons #genshin tighnari #fanfic #thoma x y/n #thoma x reader #kazuha x you #kazuha x reader #genshin x reader #genshin comfort #kazuha x y/n #tighnari x you #thoma x you #kazuha fluff #tighnari fluff #thoma fluff

[study-core-101]

Hi! Have you got any tips on starting and willing yourself to get work done? As in homework the same day it was given out, making/reviewing that day's notes and studying whenever the exam dates are still so far away (even though they're also so close at the same time 😭), etc.

What are the things that work specifically for you? I just often find that any deadline I make I know is superficial so I don't stick to it, missing my own deadlines makes me less motivated and so do most To Do lists I make

I'm going to be honest, neither of us are really good on doing the work the same day, but I got a lot of tips to avoid procrastination and have motivation!

One of the best advice I've gotten and it helps me a lot, it's to set a a reward. For the example, "if I study for 30 minutes, I will watch another episode of my tv show" or "When I finish this assigment, I'm going to eat my favorite snack". It doesnt have to be something "big" but to have a short-term reward works wonders.

Looking aesthetic study pictures in Pinterest or Tumblr helps but only if you dont get too into it and procrastinate by scrolling on social media.

Having someone near you doing something productive while you study can be a good motivator too. It can be a study buddy, a stranger doing work in the table next to you in the library, or someone of your household (roommate/parent/sibling/etc) doing anything. Seeing someone doing something productive (whether it is studying, cooking, cleaning or other) is motivating.

What also really helps me is to start with another task and then move on into the work. I do something simple, like making my bed to get into a "productive streak" and start the school work then. I usually start with the easiest assigmement or one of my preferred subjects to get into the studying mood before the more boring/tedious/hard tasks.

Another tip I've seen people recommend so much (it never worked for me because I'm a disaster with that type of stuff but for a lot of people work really well so maybe it works for you) is to plan ahead. Have a calendar or at least a notion of when you have free time and aren't mentally tired. Like for example, if you finish early on Wednesdays, set a few hour/s to study that day. Have a strict routine. Though, like I said, it isn't for everyone

I sometimes guilt-trip myself into doing the work, which I do not recommend because it's not really healthy, but I do it anyways.

It may seem unrelated but for the studying for tests part maybe it could be good to have more interactive study methods, they are usually less tedious and maybe some of the lack of motivation comes from studying being tedius/boring

Hope this helps!

-Jay

#study #study aesthetic #study blog #study motivation #studyblr #studyspo #study-core-101 #student #study community #studyinspo #study inspiration #study inspo #study tips #study time #studying #students #studying tips #studyblr community #studying inspo #answered #asks #asks open #answering asks #asks and answers #asks always open #asks and replies

[br1ghtestlight]

getting war flashbacks to the bobs burgers fanfic where louise is doing math homework in the restaurant when nobody else is around and then bob has a heart attack </3 that shit was TRAUMATIZING

love linda shouting four whenever there's a math problem or anything related to numbers. best recurring joke. FOUR!!!!

you can do it gene :D also im so bad at math I 100% would not be able to help either. dumbass rep family

bob trying to help gene with his homework is cute. even if he is Not very good at it. he wants to be an involved dad :(

gene im not gonna lie that math question has gotta be fucking with you. rhat is not a real question. i could NEVER do that not if i was given 100 hours that shit is fake

see this is where when I was in math class i would just write a random number and move on bcuz im never gonna figure it out anyway im not gonna waste time. so that's my advice gene. just Give Up

he says "maybe your mom or tina could get you started" because they're older but I genuinely think louise has a better chance of helping bcuz she is so smart. if she'd WANT to help is another question entirely

because I'm stuck in a safe 😐

AND THEN HE BLINDFOLDED ME ON THE WAY HERE??? HE BLINDFOLDED YOU??????

teddy I think his guy is gonna murder you im gonna be so real right now

unfortunately im kinda following teddy's logic now like. it isnt like fischoeder isn't doing this type of shit everyday just for fun. rich guys are just like that BUT getting their money is nice

"gene was doing homework?? that's new"

WE'RE NOT ALL ECONOMICALLY COMFORTABLE LIKE YOU ARE

"Why did you tell me the whole long story about the sandwich in the drawer if you're running out of battery LOCKED IN A SAFE??" "Context!!!!"

also bob and teddy have such great comedic chemistry lmao they bounce off each other so naturally

louise isn't lying she Does have a certain set of skills 😭 if anyone could find him it WOULD be her the lockpicking genius nine year old supervillain

miss you. see you soon. gotta go!!

has he gotten a new cellphone since that MIDDLE OF THE DAY AND YOUR PHONE IS AT 23% argument or is it that same shitty 2008 blackberry phone that dies almost immediately lmfao

bob is a real one for doing this bullshit for teddy he did NOT have to. they're ride or die fr

I'm not entirely unconvinced that gerald isnt a serial killer but thats okay <3 men can have hobbies

also I'm choosing to believe this gerald is the same one from the taxes/weed cookie episode even though it ABSOLUTELY is not bcuz i think that would be funny. by day he's a regular tax agent by night he is a creepy rich kidnapper who pulls mind games on all his handymen

OH I FORGOT THE SUBPLOT FOR THIS EPISODE IS ABOUT SPORTS PEOPLE why did they do the whole thing with gene's homework then.... are they connected. what is the gameplan

WE PICK A NEW LOVER FOR MOM

i love how bob is apparently the only thing keeping his family from going completely off the fucking rails like. he's the only thing standing between his family and their restaurant burning down with everyone inside fr

your dad never loved that dream :/ because he's a hater :/ AND SO JEALOUS :/

you're not gonna break the world record. another hater. STOP THAT

I might be having a panic attack 💔 I CANT TELL BECAUSE IVE NEVER HAD ONE BEFORE OR IM ALWAYS HAVING ONE soo real teddy

WE LOST HIM 😭😭💔

aww I love them all wearing their lil aprons <3 (crappy photo of my tablet bcuz the app im using to watch this episode doesn't allow screenshots)

SAY SOMETHING SMART LIKE UHH HOW WOULD YOU FLIP A GIANT BURGER. OH GOD THEY DIDNT MAKE THE GIANT BURGER DID THEY. WHO WOULD EVEN AGREE TO EAT THAT. AN OVER FOURTY CO-ED BASKETBALL TEAM. REALLY 😯

sorry this episode has so many good ooc quotes FJDMDJSKSKKM

gene STOP calling him father

bob is being like a whole ass detective meanwhile linda and the kids are currently making The Worst Decisions Ever

h jon benjiman is doing such a good job voicing bob in this episode idk it has so much personality and sounds natural. or it's always like this and im just now appreciating it but either way A+ work

cute bob and teddy moment ❤️❤️

(ignore the awful camera quality. nothing I can do there) also love the fact that teddy can easily lift up and manhandle bob. Good to know

there's so much going on w/ this gerald guy I dont even know WHERE to begin. what a guy. wow

this is so cute and sweet im so happy!!! YOU DOUBLE FAKE WALLED HIM :D YOU SMART SMARTIE. YOURE A GENIUS BOB

"I knew I asked the right person to come help me. Yeah. Mort wouldn't answer."

"What? You called Mort first?"

"No..."

HE ASKED MORT???? LMFAO big win for tedmort shippers. I fucking guess

MORT NEVER DOUBLE FAKE WALLED ANYONE why is bob like genuinely jealous of mort and teddy right now 😭 chill out man you've got a wife at home

"let's just say it's twelve" FINALLY bob follows my very smart advice when it comes to math homework smh

ALSO THIS IS TECHNICALLY THE FIRST TIME WE'VE SEEN THEM EATING BOBS BURGERS FOR DINNER OR IN GENERAL!!! I mean it's a giant hamburger loaf but it technically was served at bob's burgers so it counts

GIANT FRENCH FRIES

aww this episode was so fun and cute!! I love the more adventure-y type episodes where they explore a new location so this episode was great and very stressful lmao. also very funny. I love bob and teddy's dynamic/back and forth throughout the episode and the weird mort mention at the end felt like they were soft launching his and teddy's relationship even though I KNOW they aren't actually. mort could replace kathleen if we believe. very solid 8/10 episode :)

#txt #bob's burgers #episode review #bb spoilers

[lolzitop]

I passed my finals and am free from the prison that they call school (for a few weeks) so time to continue my AiStars Rewrite because I am better than Bandai

(also I am prone to forgetting things so if I repeat information from the last post,,,, just be patient w/ me please 😭)

Season 1 (continued???)

Main characters as usual are Yume, Koharu, Rola, Mahiru, Ako, and Haruka Ruka 

I said that S4 only had Yuzu, Yozora, and Tsubasa but we’re changing that– Lily now is also part of S4 and takes Hime’s spot since,, yk,,, Hime’s missing 

Hime disappeared a while before the S4 Selection (so she was there for her second year at FSA and was in S4 for one year, but is not there for her third year when the series takes place) 

Hime disappeared after an S4 concert (the same one that Yume and Koharu attend to in Episode 1 of AiStars)-- and Yume was the last person to see her (and the rainbow power was accidentally given to her here idk how just bear with me) 

Anyways uhhhhh what else 

Brands in the rewrite aren’t under a specific type; they don’t fall under cute, cool, sexy, pop coords specifically (so they can make coords that vary in types) and idols can choose what coord they want based on their preferred idol type 

We’re deleting that one FSA rule where you can’t make a brand if you’re not in S4 because I think that’s lame and stupid and doesn’t do much for the plot anyways 

So some characters still have the same brands (Lily w/ Gothic Victoria, Yozora w/ Romance Kiss, Yuzu w/ Shiny Smile) but some don’t 

Ako, for example, uses a brand that’s story themed– this brand is heavily connected with a film production agency and the agency and brand correlate stories (like if the brand released an Alice in Wonderland collection, the film agency would then release a movie based on Alice in Wonderland) 

I wanted to lean more into Ako’s acting side and thought this would be a good fit 

Haruka Ruka uses a brand called “DECO●LOUR MY WORLD” that follows a decora and candy concept

Oh and she’s also the princess of this land called “E-Magi Nation” (pronounced “imagination”) and everyone thinks she’s putting up a persona because there’s no land called the E-Magi Nation silly! Except no she’s dead serious she’s a literal princess from the E-Magi Nation and her home palace is actually made of gingerbread and candy canes thank you for asking 

Romance Kiss’ official concept says that its a “brand that travels around the world” and takes inspiration from different ethnic cultures, so I was thinking this brand would have a whole bunch of branches in different parts of the world with different top designers and such– Yozora (and later Mahiru) is the top designer of the Japan branch 

The muse of Romance Kiss is in charge of representing the different cultures of the brand 

The school coords in Four Star Academy also has various silhouettes rather than the typical “different tops- same skirts and shoes” pattern 

Here’s an example with an Ako Star Coord I designed 

(I didn’t design anyone else guys I don’t have any ideas I tried with Hime and it was a disaster so please be nice about the Ako design I tried my best) 

Also people can enter the magic fitting room thingie (I forgot what its called HELP) by using their Aikatsu mobile instead of their Aikatsu pass because idk I thought it’d be cool I’m not too sure about this idea though

Lets move on from most of the plot points and go to the end of the season 1 where the S4 Selection happens because I forgot SOOOO many things!! Yay me!

In Wind Dance, Haruka Ruka loses to Yuzu (but since everyone in S4 is a third year including Yuzu, Haruka Ruka gets the spot for S4 next year) 

In Bird Theatre, Ako wins the spot for S4 by beating Tsubasa 

In Moon Beauty, Mahiru beats Yozora and inherits the muse position from Yozora

Its here where Yozora announces that she’s taking a hiatus from being an idol to focus on being a designer (for Romance Kiss) (guys I need reasons to get the 25th S4 Gen out of Season 2 okay bear with me) 

In Flower Song, Lily wins over Rola and Yume,,, however, Rola wins over Yume and gets the S4 spot; Yume becomes Flower Song Class’ admin

TLDR: basically Rola, Ako, Mahiru, and Haruka Ruka are the 26th generation of S4 and are the S4 for Season 2, Mahiru (or Ako I’m not sure) becomes the leader for S4 and we say goodbye to our previous generation of S4 

Oh and Hime shows up at the finale! But like in a super mysterious way where we know its her but no one sees her and she’s just quietly lurking and its basically a hint to her being in the next season

Season 2

Ohohohohoho here’s the fun part 

OKay SO 

The top idol Hime Shiratori has shown up to Four Star Academy… with the Perfect Idol Elza Forte 

Idk why they’re there its probably to try to steal S4 away from FSA 

Anyways Elza does her big performance and she gets her Star Wings and everyone’s in awe and she’s made her name as a perfect idol you guys know the drill 

Hime says that she has returned to help her friend Elza collect perfect idols and get all the Star Wings like they’re Pokemon 

And because of this, she is currently residing in Venus Ark (not as a student she just stays there as a guest of Elza’s) 

The normal shenanigans happen, some Venus Ark characters get their pretty wings 

Oh and later, Hime does a performance (which is her big return back to idoling (which she kinda hates), just for Elza to get her sun wings) and gets the Earth Wings 

A big thing here is how Hime truly trusts Elza and wants her to achieve her dream, doing the one thing she hates (being back in the public spotlight) just so Elza can get her mom’s approval (this is important later) 

But you may be wondering…. if Hime got the Earth Wings… what wings does Yume get? 

LOL HAHAHA GUYS 

she’s not getting any wings 

(I swear I love her she’s one of my favorite characters I just gonna make her struggle… sorry) 

The lineup for the wings goes like this: 

Kirara has Mercury as usual 

Mahiru gets Venus (guys guys calm down I know that Elza has Venus canonically but I swear I have a good reason!!!) (the good reason being that I like Mahiru and Rola together and if Rola gets Mars then Mahiru should get Venus because in mythology-)

Mahiru got her wings due to a plot point in Season 2 where she has multiple muses in Romance Kiss to show the many faces of beauty in different cultures rather than just one– she implements this officially in a festival celebrating different cultures and does a performance and BAM SPR 

Hime gets Earth because it made the most sense to me 

Rola gets Mars and Aria gets Jupiter, like in canon 

Ako gets Saturn (I kind of pushed out Yuzu and Lily in Season 2 so that they play roles similar to Yozora and Tsubasa and Hime in the canon Season 2 of AiStars, so that Ako and Haruka Ruka can get their pretty wings) 

Rei gets Uranus and Elza gets Neptune (because *mumbling* the Sailor Moon ship) 

Haruka Ruka gets Pluto and her wings are made of candy because I said so 

Oh and Koharu’s back! She was in France for a bit learning more about fashion and Elza took her in and now she’s a cool fashion designer who loves Venus Ark with all her heart and having the time of her life 

Aria and Hime also have a sweet relationship– Hime actually meets Aria in Season 2 (rather than pre-show in AiStars), and the two connect 

The main reason they connect is because they were both muses of My Little Heart. My Little Heart was Hime’s brand before she disappeared, and after she did, the whole brand was running around to pick up the pieces 

They had a little reboot and got a new muse (our little fairy Aria) who became the new muse of My Little Heart 

Hime is sorry for the trouble and hate that Aria received after she became the muse but Aria’s very sweet about it with her– they get along quite well because Aria sees Hime as this cool older sister and not a top idol, and Hime is truly at her calmest with Aria 

Oh speaking of brands, Hime has a private brand in Season 2 to avoid the same thing that happened with My Little Heart (she’s planning to leave the spotlight again after Elza gets the Sun Wings) 

We’re gonna skip a lot of plot points because.. again… I forgot a LOT of the ideas I had I should really write these down 

Hime finds out that Elza was just using her the whole time and gets really really upset,,, and pulls a little revenge 

Can you guys guess what it is 

Lol Hime gets the Sun Dress… surprise(!!)

I know Hime is out of character here compared to canon but then again this is my rewrite and I can do whatever I want and I think she should be able to destroy a few dreams because of the betrayal she feels 

And everyone was like “WOAH!! How did she do that!! Gasp!! The Sun Dress is here again??!” 

So the main rival of Season 2 shifts from Elza to Hime

Uhhh skipping more plot points,,, but Yume is doing pretty great! She was kinda moping around after she didn’t get an SPR but she and Koharu made up and created a new brand called “Rainbow Berry Parfait” Yay!! 

So she’s kinda vibing because her best friend is back 

OH MY GOD WAIT I FORGOT TO MENTION 

So at the end of Season 1, because she lost the S4 Selection and was exhausted due to the rainbow power, she took a small hiatus 

She still trains a LOT, more than she used to, so she learns to control her rainbow power again idk how 

But you may be wondering,,, Yume has no SPR nor a sun dress, how the heck is she gonna beat Hime in the finale? 

Basically, Yume and Koharu,,, craft a Moon Dress by themselves– its not given from the system or anything but they literally make a dress that can rival the Sun Dress 

Each one of Yume’s friends help her too, like Mahiru making the crown, or Haruka Ruka helping get certain fabrics? Stuff like that 

And then in the near finale of the season, Yume performs in this Moon Dress (without wings) 

She activates her rainbow power and has a super powerful aura,,, except the rainbow from her aura then goes into her back,,, and forms a pair of wings 

And its sort of basically the system deeming her “worthy” of the Wings of Stars 

Yume wins the competition and beats Hime– so both of them sort of get what they want? Yume is at the top now because of her hard work and now her super rainbow power and Hime is finally lifted the burden of being the top idol 

Also Rei, Aria, and Kirara get Elza’s mom to give her a hug and they sort of mend their relationship from there 

And in the end of the season, Yume beats Rola in the S4 Selection, Mahiru, Ako, and Haruka Ruka win their S4 spots again

Rola decides to go to England to find out what being an idol means to her (and makes a cool rock band because I think that’s what she deserves) 

Koharu is now the top idol of Rainbow Berry Parfait– she leaves Venus Ark and opens a boutique that is also a candy shop because why not 

Ako is the top actress,,, ever; she’s getting film deals everywhere, every movie she is in sells out completely, she’s a big hit 

Mahiru is a supermodel, she’s constantly traveling the world for brand deals; one of the most influential people in the world 

I’m ngl I barely talked about Haruka Ruka,,,, oops I swear I love her 

I imagine that she gets her own talk show that’s super successful- I also remember making her have a rivalry with Yuzu so she probably beat Yuzu sometime in Season 2 but I never mentioned it until now 

And Yume is the top idol of top idols; she’s now the leader of S4 with her super successful career and now she’s just vibing 

Elza and her mom are working to mend their relationship good for them good for them 

Also Elza apologizes to Hime for using her because I think Hime deserves that apology; they don’t end up being friends again but they do end their little,,, whatever they had going on, amicably 

Venus Ark leaves Japan at the end of Season 2 and they’re gonna go to some other country to girlboss and be better than other idol schools good for them 

Hime actually stays in Japan! She now helps with Hotaru’s (Moroboshi’s sister) flower shop! 

Yozora is the top fashion designer for Romance Kiss in the Japan branch 

I think Tsubasa starts an idol agency because I think it’d be cool to have one of those and no one would do it better than Tsubasa 

And Yuzu and Lily make their own idol unit its literally a canon event 

And I think those are all my ideas so far for the series but if I remember any more ideas I’ll probably reblog this with the new ideas 

Also if you read this whole thing, I APPLAUD YOU BECAUSE HUH??? One of god’s strongest soldiers fr 

(Note: I swear the characters, especially the main six, are very close to each other I was just trying to get my ideas out so I didn’t focus on much on the relationships between characters) 

Also I definitely planned more for lore building like the origin of the rainbow power and how the aikatsu system works (because that thing is definitely sentient,,,) but that's all in Season 3 + 4 where there are new characters (,,,,my ocs,,, STOP SCREAMING I AM BUT A GIRL WHO WANTS TO INDULGE HERSELF IN HER LITTLE DELUSIONS!!!) so that may be a different post,,, maybe

(special tag for @elcall, I hope I did Ako justice 🫶)

#aikatsu #aikatsu stars #rewrite #please!! be!! nice!!!1 #when i get over my constant forgetfulness its so over for all of you #justice for ako btw she deserved better than the treatment she got in the canon show

[armenianwriterman]

Owl House Liveblog I typed while watching the episode

THAT PROMO WAS SO GOOD!!!!

Power Noodle 😭😭😭

Amity vs Luz Noooooo

EDA I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!

OH GOD THAT VISION OF DELL

King poor baby

Going through all Luz's friends blaming her is rough, but it's nice to see Luz defending herself after all the self blaming.

AND ALL THAT WAS JUST THE COLD OPEN!

The big reunion awwww

Oh god Belos knows King is a Titan

I forgot how much of a slimy creep he was

Possessed Raine is so creepy

COLLECTOR PACMAN OH MY GOD

This montage is really neat

Oh poor baby

EWW BELOS IS SO FUCKING GROSS

The Hexsquad in the archives, that should be interesting

Them going through Luz's adventures is so cute

NOT LUZ SAYING SHE WANTS A YOUNG EDA SPIN OFF, ME TOO!!!

THE TITAN IS NOW SANS UNDERTALE!

OH GOD THAT BODY HORROR THOUGH

Oh collector you can't reason with Belos

NO LUZ ISTG DID YOU JUST GET ASSIMILATED

CAMILY CRYING NOOOOO

MONSTER KING AND EDA HOLY FUCK

ASDFGHDAJDJASNDSA THAT TITAN DESIGN IS SO GOOD I love it

I love this whole converstaion

Aww Camila breaking out the glyphs

Luz went Super sayian of course she would

Titan Empowered Luz has such a great design

This whole battle sequence is so good I love it

Raine whistling Eda's Reqiuem one last time!!!

NOW EAT THIS SUCKAAAAAAA!!!!!

EAT SHIT BELOS!!!!

Awwww bread pun

THE REUNIONS!!!

Awwww I love the camila eda meeting

AWWW King giving the Collector Francois!!!

NOT THE GLYPHS

She's going to College in the demon realm!!!

Older Vee has such a great design

Awww that Hunter Willow moment

FLAPJACK!!!!!

These older character designs are so great!!!

HARPY LILITH!!!

I love the moment where they undo the Glyphs

ALADARIUS MOMENT HOLY CRAP

They're really touching on everyne aren't they

KING-CENERA!!!!!

THE ECHO MOUSE!!!

I'm actually tearing up this is a lot.

Oh that was so good, such a fantastic ending. I love this show so much and I love the way it came to a close. It's sad to see it go and I'll miss it so much, but it was so good to be there along the way. Thanks to Dana, the VAs, the animation crew and everyone who made it along the way. Thanks for everything Owl House, Hoot Hoot.

BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

#the owl house #toh spoilers