#Genuinely wanted to tag like all my mutuals but alas

[twig-gy]

NAME ME - it/its

most recent writing as of may20 (02:20 pdt)

i don't have a dni for Reasons but please don't follow me if you have jashshippers on your dni and if you do you must answer my riddles three (the other post has my riddles three but if you want version with less talking: link)

i write cccc fic - my ao3 is janSikepa - give me requests! there’s just no guarantee i will do them - i appreciate comments and compliments SO MUCH

i don’t reliably tag triggers, but self posts about self-harm/addiction or writing about gore will definitely be tagged (just the trigger, like ‘self harm’ or ‘addiction’) / faggot&dyke&tranny = untagged we ride free

i will always appreciate an ask or any form of human communication

times i've been called homoerotic in some way: 1, somehow, despite the fact i'm aro

have been called “genuinely one of the most annoying faggots on this site” before

mutuals i have convinced to watch centricide: 4 :D

fellow jtoh mutuals: 1 (join the list!!!!)

“”mandatory”” listening: link

at all moments i will make inexplicable references. if you mention heart mind or soul then my cccc receptors will immediately go off. hope this helps!

cccc : main interest. posts slightly related to it/less thought out are #brainrot.png and posts where i talk more are brainrot.exe

(list of drawing ideas i have but can’t draw cause i can’t draw: link)

jtoh : like it but do not play it as often, i talk about it sometimes. its tag is #jtohposting

centricide : i like it en talk about it on occasion. its tag is #jreg.jpeg but that also includes other posts abt jreg

toki pona : i’m still learning it. sometimes i make posts in or about it (#tok.exe). i’m translating cccc into it, so far i have time machine reprise done and posted (ilo tenpo pi sin ala), and spring and a storm/storm and a spring have their lyrics finished. you can ask me abt how that is going if you want [NOTE: PAUSED CAUSE MY MICROPHONE SUCKS :((((]

#twig.txt is my tag for selfposts

#asks.png is my tag for asks

#amazing art!! is for art i like a lot

#holding onto these is for posts i find important to keep in my safe

#twiggy cites the classics is for posts i consider ‘classics’ somehow (stolen from @/virgils_muse)

#jtohposting is for silly posts relating to jtoh that none of you will get ‘cause i’m 99% sure i’m the only one on this webbed site who likes jtoh

#mi pali e ni is for when i make things

(#mi pali e kalama musi is for music and #mi pali e sitelen is for writing)

if i tag something with heartposting/mindposting/soulposting that's bc i think that they'd say that

#wholeposting is for my thoughts on whole which i have very occasionally

#jaship mention is for any post about or mentioning shipping between hms

#hmsex is for any post mentioning hms having the sex. i see nothing wrong with it but i won’t talk about it that in depth. i just need my followers to be on their toes /silly

[id: userbox with the toki pona icon on the left and the words "sona mi pi toki pona li ike." on the right.]

[my toki pona is bad]

#amazing art!! #twiggy cites the classics #holding onto these #jtohposting #wholeposting #pinned #243 #mi pali e ni #mi pali e kalama musi #mi pali e sitelen #the ramblings of a madman or perhaps a depressed fool #<- that was my centricide 7 liveblog tag btw #twig.txt #brainrot.exe #brainrot.png #jreg.jpeg #asks.png #tok.exe

[bytedykes]

WIP tag game!!

Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! Tag as many people as you have WIPs!

tagged by @princess-of-purple-prose tysm kay!!<3 i havent written in a while so all my wip titles are old but lets see

kdj wakes up from coma. proceeds to start fights on twitter

mind reading but what if theyre awful about it

mutually orchestrated bed scarcity

that moment when ur abt to die and then realize that maybe a 23andme wouldve been a good idea

the incredible romance of running thru a busy LA street… NOT

what would demon duolingo even be called. devilingo question mark. iruma would like to know

these are all sooo old but i genuinely do not have anything more recent 😭 some are so old that i myself would love to know what theyre about. but alas

@kar-krashew giggles and twirls my hair. hiiiii <3. not tagging anyone else because i cant think of anyone but if anyone wants to do it u can say i tagged you :)

#tag game #all of these are so funny fr. girl who is incapable of writing seriously but by god is she having fun with it #misc

[birbfeeder2artisticboogaloo]

Getting to Know Your BL Mutuals

rules: answer the questions and tag some people. include the tag ‘g2ky BL mutuals 2022’ on your post so we can find everyone’s answer.

thank u very much to @yanwushi for tagging meeee 💚💚💚

What have been BLs that took you by surprise this year?

thousand autumns, 千秋!! my buddy talked me into watching the donghua, and i LOVED it!! really can't recommend it enough!! i even live-blogged it, that's how much fun i was having 🤣 genuinely it was SO GREAT, i really hope there'll be another season somedayyy aaaa 🥺

What have been BLs that you felt a bit disappointed with this year?

.......pls don't hate me. but. i don't really like mdzs or cql ;A; i WANTED to like it, u lot. I WANTED TO LOVE IT. i even bought the first volume of mdzs!!! I TRIED TO LOVE IT. but. alas. it just.....didn't suit 😔 cql and mdzs are both REALLY well done and there was so much LOVE put into them both!! i enjoyed reading and watching them, even if i didn't like the stories they told. in the end, i think it's just my own personal preferences that left me feeling cold afterward lol. so no hate to cql/mdzs fans!! ur fanart is gorgeous!! if i don't reblog it, it's just that i don't care for a lot of the characters or pairings lol 🤣

What has been your favorite BL this year?

heaven official's blessing, 天官赐福 !!!! i am OBSESSED. i am obsessed. word of honour, 山河令 is a close second!! but i really couldn't do without EITHER of them ;A;

Favorite BL/GL couples (not just of 2022)

fengqing!!!! fengqing are my fav but i love hualian too!!! ALSO RONGYE. rongye my beloved ;A; i love wenzhou and hanwenzhou (listennn i know that's THREE ppl but. i like them all ok. i just think they're neat 🥺) and i have recently been converted to yanshen!!! so we will probably be seeing more of that soonish-lyyyy...... >:3c

If you had to suggest a BL for someone what would it be?

definitely word of honour, 山河令. it's got to be my favourite bl drama of ALL TIME ;A; i've watched it twice thru to the end, and a few random episodes just on their own several times as well. literally CANNOT recommend it enough. it's brilliant. nothing has ever made me feel the things that woh made me feel ;A;

What’s your non-BL favorite this year?

i was really enjoying 'who rules the world?' a lot!! ....then i stopped watching bc i thought they would be taking my sweet feng chang away from me ;A; BUT i have since been informed that it's worth watching the series thru to the end!!! so i intend to do so!! SOMEDAY!!! 💪😤

i shall tag a few ppl!! but there's no obligation to play if u don't feel like it, so please don't worry 😊 !!

@sugarbabywenkexing @rainsfalling @minnarr @orchisailsa @stargrit and and and ANYONE ELSE who wants to!!!!! join us, friends!!!! one of us, ONE OF US >:3

#tag games #g2ky BL mutuals 2022 #thank u very much for tagging meeeee @yanwushi ;A; #i appreciate it!! im BEING INCLUDED!!!! #if the primary school bullies could see me now.....they would be SHOOKETH >:) #bl dramas #i need to watch a gl drama as well someday

[viir-tanadhal]

@dykejaskiers tagged me to do this discography challenge, thank you ❤️

rules: pick an artist or band and share your favorite song from each of their albums, then tag some mutuals!

artist/band: pet shop boys (I'm also doing only their regular studio albums BUT I'm throwing Alternative and Format, their b-sides albums, into the mix for fun)

Please: Love Comes Quickly (becoming one of my top psb songs tbh and getting to hear the new live version was 😵‍💫 screaming, crying, throwing up, etc etc)

Actually: Rent (the lyrics, the various ways they've performed it live.... do I have to explain myself further i mean 🤭)

Introspective: I'm Not Scared (I love left to my own devices don't get me wrong but I've really been getting into im not scared recently)

Behaviour: Being Boring (my fav song of all time by them.... makes me want to cry every time. but I genuinely think everything about this song from the lyrics to the music to the synthesizers used to the structure is absolutely perfect. would never change anything about it)

Very: Can You Forgive Her? (will always be one of The psb songs to me because of the lyrics on this song. neil are you kidding me... but if this was for very further listening I would have to choose I Wouldn't Normally Do This Kind of Thing 7" single Beatmasters remix because WOW. alas, it isn't the album version)

Alternative: A New Life (this b-side is just too fucking good but also in the night, paninaro, do I have to?...)

Bilingual: It Always Comes as a Surprise (ok I listen to other songs from bilingual more often but if in my brain I think over what one I think just perfectly does what it needs to do, it's this one.)

Release: Home and Dry (I will defend all of release btw. but I like how this song is both sweet and heartbreaking at the same time)

Fundamental: Minimal (idk I just think it does what it set out to do perfectly but I also really like Luna Park with its metaphors and imagery as well)

Yes: King of Rome (it's got everything: historical inspiration, neil singing in falsetto, sad yearning ballad... my fav psb stuff)

Format: Hit and Miss (v tough decision because this comp has a lot of good ones 🧍‍♀️)

Elysium: Memory of the Future (I like neil's literary influence songs it can't be helped)

Electric: Love is a Bourgeois Construct (the reason it's my fav from this album is because I think this exemplifies them so much and it's just great. no one else but neil would write these lyrics and no one else but chris would do this to the music)

Super: The Pop Kids (a bop. a banger. the medley from the super tour of this going into In the Night 😭😭😭😭)

Hotspot: Will-o-the-wisp (my favorite song they've done in recent times I think because omg... the analog synths sound, the lyrics being so overtly queer, them underlying the track with a recording they did of the ambience of riding the u-bahn, and then the fade out into YATO... But shoutout to Burning the Heather which i love so much too ugh)

#this is so hard to choose only one song :(((((

[brightokyolights]

@songofachillespdf tagged me to do this! Thank you 🥰🥰🥰

rules: open spotify, search ‘on repeat’, post the top 10 songs and tag 10 people

I will tag @superdanys @j-purplesunsets-rainydays @sixovcrowns @whatdoesthefuturebehold @elsker-evens @overthemoonwithme @gracefulnosplinters @yadomik @rosegoldeyelids @enbyliam and anyone else who sees this and wants to do it!!! Also please feel free to ignore

#Genuinely wanted to tag like all my mutuals but alas #So pleaaseeee do this if you see #Also dgdgsggsgd please don't judge me... I know this is quite.... Something #Bsgsggsg #About me

[ghirahims-trophyhusband]

I really am sitting here to reinstall AOC bc I miss the gameplay koie tecmo makes huh

#clown #clowns #yes i am someone who is very much story over gameplay #but alas that's pretty muvh all aoc has for it in my personal opinion #ALSO why did no one point out link does the sheild laser bump like 20 times in the cutscenes #like......... it just comes off as making zelda look weak by comparison #even when she gets her goddess powers! #stop it. learn to write zelda properly #if link can do crazy shit so can she and botw/aoc link and zelda are my least favs #stop making her damsel like hkjghfdkjg??? AAA #goldie speaks #btw mutuals if u genuinely like AOC/BOTW please feel free to ask for a tag to block bc I'm not nice to these games #i will say it is the story i dont like over the charavters #story affects characters so unfortunately if the story is bad so are the characters woof #(as in they make dumb decisions that are suddenly very out of charavter bc plot!) #i do mean to critique them like i do skyward sword bc i can be vicious about SS when i want to be #but some folks flat out dont want to see that and that's fair

[ravenpuffheadcanons]

Rules: Tag 9 people you want to know better.

I was tagged by @roamingbadger! Thanks for the tag :-)

Three ships: Hmm - despite the fact that this has turned into something of a ship blog, I am not actually much of a shipper in the normal way of things. But I think I can do this - Fitzsimmons (obvs), Peter Wimsey/Harriet Vane, and Bel/Freddie from The Hour.

First ever ship: Shirbert from the Anne Shirley books. I can still remember how it felt reading Anne of the Island and reading “Say, Anne, did you know Gilbert Blythe is [REDACTED]?”

Last song: I looked at Spotify and apparently the last song I listened to was 10 Years, Iceland’s 2021 Eurovision entry. So that’s certainly telling on myself. (Normally, I just have music radio on because I am an old. In fact, it is Radio 3, because I’m *that* age now).

Last film: I genuinely can’t remember the last time I watched a film all the way through. I was off sick on Monday and watched half of The Sound of Music before falling asleep, does that count? If not... hmm. Probably Don’t Look Up, which I watched with my family at Christmas. 

Currently reading: Can You Forgive Her? by Anthony Trollope, and Square Haunting: Five Women, Freedom, and London Between the Wars by Francesca Wade. These books are both great.

Currently watching: The news, mostly (and stressfully). Also, I am enjoying the adaptation of Magpie Murders on Britbox.

Currently consuming: Water (boring). I had marmalade on toast this morning, though, is that a bit more fun?

Currently craving: I might get up and get some tea (having read @roamingbadger singing its praises in her response!). I currently really like the Bird & Blend Pumpkin Pie blend, despite not normally liking either flavoured or sweetened tea. What I actually want right now is milk oolong, but I don’t have any. Alas.

I don’t think I actually have nine mutuals who haven’t already done this? But tagging (if you feel like doing it): @elennare, @beth-is-rainpaint, @sugarpiehoneyduck, @cherrylimeade, @2minutes2midnight and anyone else who wants to do it who I may have forgotten.

#tagged

[tortoisesshells]

8 songs and 8 people

tagged by @smuggsy(thank you, kind friend!) answer the 8 song prompts and tag 8 people.

favorite song at the moment: “Blackleg Miner” by Offa Rex; it’s the 100th anniversary of the Battle of Blair Mountain (and alas I’ve been playing Fallout 76 (derogatory) again) so it’s absolutely the season of furious coal miners’ union songs. (Yes, I know. Wrong continent.) 

a song you associate with your favorite ship: Josh Ritter’s “Girl in the War” features in most of my playlists, but it’s very much my Emma Green/Henry Hopkins song.

a song that could be about you: I’m doing okay presently, but the sort of bleak disinterest in the world and acceptance of disaster in “Angels and Seagulls” is very much my Spicy Sads anthem.

a song you think is overated: I always strike out at questions like this, because I am so disconnected from the world that I genuinely have no idea how other people feel about X song; it’s just me and my playlists and CDs and imagining ridiculous scenarios to them.

a song that reminds you of a good memory:  “Leslie Anne Levine” feels like one particular summer weekend in college, when a friend and I took a long bus to the beach, crashed on the literal floor (no sleeping bags or mattresses etc.) of another friend’s rented room, drank A LOT of grape-flavored Smirnoff Ice (?), got very sunburned, walked the boardwalk incessantly, read trashy romance novels outloud, had questionable bouillabaisse, watched illicit fireworks, got lost, walked up a lot of stairs in a lighthouse, etc.

the last song you listened to: the minute snippet of Sylvan Esso’s cover of “Quarry Weave” from Turn, because AMC despises us all and never dropped the soundtracks for seasons 2 - 4.

a song that makes you laugh: It’s out of season and perhaps doesn’t say great things about me, but the staging & wordplay in “Scrooge” from Muppet Christmas Carol definitely makes me grin.

a song you want your mutuals to listen to: “Empire Builder” by Laura Gibson, and please imagine that in relationship to Customs and Duties so I don’t have to keep trying to do the equivalent of pushing the north poles of two magnets together while trying to get Nellie and Jimothy to use a SHRED of emotional honesty with themselves.

i'm tagging: @theonlyredcar, @vimeswasright, @jamesnorrington, @maggzblair, @tatyana-dreaming, @r-o-s-e-h-i-p-s, @sagiow, @fericita-s, @jomiddlemarch, @afarkingdom.

#tag meme #polkaknox talks #music

[talas-starlight]

a modern romance - peter parker x reader

summary: the downfall of meeting peter online and falling for him

warnings: angst, rly sad lol, confusing feelings - not that long?

a/n: hiya friends!! this is my very first marvel/ peter fic & im hella nervous but lmk what you think!! hehe 

The moons iridescent glow glimmers upon the sad expression that etched its way onto your face. There’s nothing special about the sky on this particular night. The deep blue so dark, you’d pass it off as a plain black if anyone asked. You suppose it perfectly matches the emotions which have weaved its way through your soul. Muted ticks of the living room clock squeeze their way under your door. It’s not loud enough to block out the silence that encompasses you, allowing the thoughts you skilfully blocked out throughout the day to invade your mind. Yet as you sit on the edge of your bed after your entire family has finally fallen asleep, for once in your life you wished it was loud again. Loud enough that you wouldn’t be so consumed with your thoughts that you don’t even notice the small breeze swaying your curtains side to side because you forgot to shut the window.  

It’s not your fault.

Screwing your eyes shut, you take in the deepest breath you can muster. Your lungs filled to the brim with air, but instead of making you feel alive, its wholeness makes you choke back a small cry.

Deep down, you acknowledged that you fell for him. You even saw it coming with your history of getting attached for too quickly, but for the first time you were bothered by the outcome. So, bothered you wanted to scream.

On one hand, you knew the chances of it working out were slim to none. How could you so foolishly let yourself open up to the point where you’d fall for his sweet, bright smile and soft curls through your phone screen?

Online relationships never work.

But alas, after talking so consistently for so long, you allowed yourself to believe that for once it could genuinely work out.

**

“Did you know we’ve been talking for three months straight now?!”

“Really?! It honestly feels longer than that. To think it was all because I tweeted about being stressed for my chemistry final.”

His laugh fills your heart, “You’re lucky I came to the rescue. But I guess you could say this is our anniversary.”

Your heart skipped a beat. Anniversary? Does he mean he’s interested in me?

Letting out a small breath you didn’t even realise you were holding in, you giggled, pushing the hopeful thoughts aside. It wouldn’t work; he lives in a completely different country.

Eyes glancing to the side, you’re nervous to even look at him. You gulp. “How are you so sure?”

It's silent. Despite the slightly blurry connection between the two of you, you notice a small blush creep its way onto his face.

“Pete?”

“I may or may not have scrolled all the way to the top of our conversation to check?”

It was at that point where you felt like your heart skipped a beat. Your chest was freezing completely and every logical thought you’ve been trying to drill into your brain not to yearn for the American boy fly’s out the window.

Play it cool.

“Aweee! I knew you were whipped.”

As the weeks went on from that conversation, you continued to grow more and more infatuated with the boy through the screen.

That was your exact downfall.

While only ever being able to communicate online at obscure times of the day, you initially saw it as a blessing. Study for uni during the day, talk to peter before you go to bed.

Alas, it was a curse in disguise.

Finding yourself thinking about how he would make you laugh and completely over the moon every single night, you eventually became reckless. As he would fill you in on the Star Wars marathon he had with Ned while you were sleeping, it became impossibly hard to ignore how your heart would yearn to be there with him. To see him in his complete element in person. To rest your head on his shoulder as he stared with amazement towards the screen. You knew it wouldn’t happen, but what did you do instead? You confessed.

It all seemed harmless at first. What could go wrong? Yes, he might not feel the same way, but it’s not like you’d actually have to face him. He’d still want to be your friend regardless.

Or at least that’s what you told yourself.

Cringing at the confidence you had in yourself a week prior to your confession, frustrated words of abuse towards your actions swim in your mind.

When you confessed during a game of truth, he actually admitted there were feelings there for you too. Yet as the days went on, feeling confident enough to tell him how cute he looked during your daily facetimes or snapchats… you felt him drifting away—pulling back. Almost as if he were a man overboard that didn’t want you to jump into the ocean to bring him back.

Smooth streams of air push their way out from your parted lips. Screwing your eyes shut, you shove the heels of your palms against them desperately willing yourself to not break down in sobs.

Why did you have to ruin it?

You wanted to be mad. Furious. You kept telling yourself that he could’ve said something. He could’ve been honest with you and give you a chance to get over your feelings so you could both stay friends. But he didn’t. The reality was it honestly felt like he let go completely, and it didn’t matter how frustrated you were as you suffered halfway across the world.

You didn’t know what you could do to bring him back, and there was absolutely not a single thing you could do about it.

*Ding!*

It was a notification from peter. It wasn’t a ‘hi’ or a ‘how are you?’ but he sent a TikTok to you for some random comedy skit. The first form of contact in three days.

Maybe it wasn’t like before. It may never return to how it was before and your contact with him will most likely fade into nothing at all, but you couldn’t help but smile a little because he was still there.

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ:

taglist: lmaO ok so i dont have a taglist for peter or tom or whatever but im just guna tag some mutuals/ friends i do have on here that are involved in the fandom - im so sorry for tagging u in this if u didnt want to be! i wont do it in the future unless u actually want me to but eep! but eek feel free to give me feedback or what u think :)

@kelieah @hollanderfangirl @peterbenjiparker @euphorichxlland​ @stuckonspidey​

#peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker angst #peter parker fluff #peter parker x fem!reader #ned leeds #ned #marvel #spider man #spider man far from home #spiderman homecoming #peter parker fic #peter parker fanfic #peter parker fanfiction #spiderman x you #peter parker x you #peter parker x y/n

[hannahbee12719]

✨BTS Tag Game✨

Tagged by the ever-so-lovely Laura @jikooknoona. Thank you for the tag 💕

Out of the 7 members of BTS, who would you choose for the following: your husband, your boyfriend, your brother, your little brother, your crush, your best friend, your classmate.

Rules: You must choose all 7 members and no names may be repeated.

I put waaaay too much thought and effort into this, but here we are lol.

Tagging (only if you want to and you seriously do not have to copy my effort at all): @seokjinger-ale, @btsarmy9593, @yeontan-my-love, @triviafics and anyone else who sees this and wants to do it!

(I have gotten a few new mutuals recently so if you want to be tagged in stuff like this, let me know ☺️)

(This is all just imaginings/for fun. I don’t purport to know the member of BTS personally. All the pictures are my recolorings of the 2019 N*v*r White Day photo shoot because they were the first promo photos released as I was becoming an Army)

1. Your husband - Park Jimin

While my tags say that Namjoon is “the end game”, at the end of the day, my heart wants what it wants, and what it wants is Jimin. Husband Jimin would give the most thoughtful gifts and write the sweetest, most heartfelt love letters. The vacations and the snuggles and the laughs….this is the dream 😍 Also have you seen him around animals? Imagine getting to see that level of love and cuteness with your pets.

2. Your boyfriend - Kim Namjoon

I saw this picture and thought, “Ooo will he be my bias? 😍” Alas in my experience, our biases choose us. I digress, Namjoon is the ideal boyfriend. He’s smart, he’s funny, he wants to settle down and have a family, he’ll write lyrics and poetry so beautiful it’ll make you cry. And imagine the dates!! Museums and bike rides in the park and coffee dates. Imagine reading books together on the couch on a rainy day. *dreamy sigh* There’s a reason my tag for him is “the end game” and that is because he is all kinds of my type.

3. Your brother - Min Yoongi (Since there’s a “little brother” category, I’m interpreting this as “big brother”)

We’re bending reality for this whole post, so why stop at age? I’m older than Yoongi, the eldest sibling, and have a little sister. I don’t know what it’s like to have an older sibling or a brother. HOWEVER, if I had to choose a big brother I think Yoongi would be a good one. He’d cook when your parents aren’t home. He’d be silly and play games with you. He’d tease you and push you to do better. His work ethic and talent (amongst many other favorable attributes) make him an excellent role model.

4. Your little brother - Kim Taehyung

As an older sister, it’s one of my favorite things to encourage my sister in all her pursuits. In that way, I would love to be the one to encourage Taehyung to be himself. I would genuinely laugh at all his antics and play along with all his characters, and just baby the crap out of him. I’d give him advice when he asks and comfort when he needs it. Keep being your wonderful, lovable, weird self 💜

5. Your crush - Kim Seokjin

…………sorry I spaced out from how dreamy he is. He’s beautiful and soft spoken and smart with a silly side and a penchant for dad jokes. He can cook and sing and act. The way he looks in a sweater? Too much. Every time he walks in the room it would be all slow-motion and dreamy music like in a kdrama.

6. Your best friend - Jung Hoseok

He seems so supportive and a good listener. Watching him have deep conversations with the other members is so comforting. Plus the the members all say he’s the pillar of Bangtan. Jimin says he’ll have to live with his Hobi hyung forever because Hobi takes care of him. There’d be no shortage of laughs either. He is sunshine incarnate and I think he’d make an amazing best friend (to lovers…oops did I sneak this in here?).

7. Your classmate - Jeon Jungkook

I imagine Jungkook would be the cute jock classmate I am tasked with tutoring. He’s not the terrible kind where he’d be a bully or not take the tutoring seriously. He just needs things explained to him in a way that make sense to him. He’s not dumb, just bored and focused on other things.

Well this absolutely got out of hand, but I had a lot of fun imagining all of this!

#tag game #me #Laura 💙

[hwarangbangbang]

jin zixuan » captivation

parts - 1 | 2

hello everyone! here is the second part, as requested by @impossibleme09​ to captivation! this is a reader insert so if thats not quite your vibe, i understand~ but if it IS your vibe and you have read the first chapter, i hope you enjoy! and i thank all you kind readers for your patience!

title - captivation word count -  3,004 words   paring - jin zixuan/fem!reader tags - THE ANGST (for the most part) IS OVER!! hopefully only lovely tings in this chapter, heartfelt emotions, mutual pining, affair, kinda happy ending

Four weeks.

Four long, lonely, dark, desperate weeks had passed since your sentencing by the Gusu Lan Sect, alongside the remainder of the court. 

They had dragged you out, kicking and screaming at the verdict whilst they quite literally began to rip apart your only best friend. You could see the look on Zhao Gang's face, the look in his eyes.

At least now, you knew he would be at peace.

You however, were confined for the rest of your days to stare at four stone walls, and a barred window and doorway being the only access you could never have again to the outside world. 

On the third day of the fifth week, which you had conveniently kept track of by using a corroded nail to carve the rustic tallies into the floor, you noticed something peculiar going on outside of your cell window. It was faint, given how quiet it always was down in the prison of the Lanling Jin Sect, but you heard it.

 The small sound of rustling paper, following by said parchment falling down onto the floor of your cell. Your cell was partially underground, the window starting at the beginning of the ground and only extending up a few feet, so on occasion trash could come in through the slots in the bars, you didn't pay much mind to it.

However, this parchment seemed different. It was a letter. 

With curious eyes, you walked over to it, picking up the letter that was sealed with a gold emblem to keep it shut. You knew that sigil anywhere, it was that of the Lanling Jin Sect. When you turned it over, you saw your name beautifully written on the front of it. 

Why would a letter be addressed to you, coming from the very sect you were imprisoned at, be coming through your cell window? Couldn't whatever message may be, not be delivered by word of mouth from a guard?

Regardless, you opened up the letter, not caring for the golden wax infused sigil that was ripped in half as you pulled it apart and began to read. 

Cultivator [ Y/L/N ], I do hope this letter finds you in good health -- though I do understand your predicament is less than desirable and for that I do apologize on behalf of the court and my sect. 

I was present that day, the day of your sentencing, and while I do agree that your choices of alternate methods of cultivation were a bit of an extreme shock to us and to the cultivation world, I believe you do not deserve a life such as this. 

You were in mourning for your companion, and it is with my deepest  apologies that you must go through it again. I wish for his soul to be carried to the highest of places, awaiting yours in the future. 

I would like to help you, should you so want that. You do not deserve to spend the rest of your life trapped as an animal for one mistake. I will leave you this letter, and return just before daybreak for your answer. 

Please think over my offer well, I hope to see you in the morning. 

Someone... wanted to help you? Someone saw through your scrutiny you were served by the Sect Leaders... the truth? That you weren't a threat, or had any ill will to harm anyone? There had to be a catch, there had to be something -- who would just willingly help you? Definitely not out of just blind trust.

Your stomach turned throughout the night, not even getting so much as a wink of sleep as your eyes were trained on the window, your evening sludge of dinner forgotten on the floor. As the evening darkness turned to a dark magenta and clementine hue, the morning sun shining through the small window, you raised up to your own two feet to pad toward the window.

You raised up on your tip toes, looking out of the barred hole as you curled your fingers around the cold metal and waited. You waited for what had felt like forever, your eyes heavy from the lack of sleep, and just when you felt like giving up on whatever hope had been brewing in your head over the night, you saw a pair of black hanfu boots, the lining instead of white cotton, was a shimmery silk laced gold. 

The robe to match could be mistaken for nothing else than a member of the Lanling Jin Sect and it swayed elegantly even from what you could see. The owner crouched down, and you nearly fainted when you saw who's face it belonged to.

"Y-Young Lord Jin?" You gasped, slipping off of your tip toes as you braced yourself against the stone walls of your prison cell. You must have gone truly mad- did your eyes really deceive you?

A small, barely present smile raised along the corners of his mouth, and you had to blink yourself out of your trance to come to terms with the fact that it truly was him. “I hope I have not troubled you due to my early risings, Cultivator (Y/L/N), I needed to arrive during the changing shifts of the dungeon guards.” He apologized, looking left and right before sitting down on his knees, bracing himself on the bars as he peered down at you. 

There was an awkward and tense silence between the two of you -- you watching him, a rosy flush coloring his cheeks as he tried his best to maintain eye contact with you. 

“So... did you sleep well?”

“What exactly is it you want from me, Young Lord Jin?”

Time. It was something you had plenty of, but in this current moment the anxiety was eating at you -- the apprehension of not knowing -- and your patience was wearing thin as he tried to skirt around the issue at hand.

Jin Zixuan cleared his throat, shaking his head. “I want nothing of you. I want to help you.” He answered, and alas, there was no tell-tale signs of dishonesty anywhere on him. His fingers couldn’t cross behind his back, as they were curled around the cold metal bars. His eyes didn’t shift side to side, as they were trained on you.

So either Jin Zixuan was a really good liar, or he was truthfully only trying to help.

Which prompted you to the question that had been at the forefront of your mind since the moment you received his letter. “Why?”

His brow furrowed, “because, I believe... you do not deserve to be here. Not trapped in here for the rest of your life as a common criminal-” he began, though you cut him off quickly. “How do you know I’m not? How do you know you can trust me not to abuse your position to get what I want? How do you know I will not, upon my freedom, raise another ghost puppet to do my bidding?!”

“Because of your eyes.”

Well that... truly stunned you. You weren’t sure how to counter that, but you didn’t need to, because he continued on in explanation.

“Your eyes show more emotion than you want. I was raised in a family where all I could do was sit and observe. I learned many things during my years, but one was how to spot someone evil.” He said tersely.

“An evil person, someone truly evil, is someone who could not care less of who gets caught in the crossfire of their wrongdoings. They enjoy the fear they inflict, the pain, the agony... But you,” he pointed towards you with an accusatory finger, though didn’t hold accusatory words, “you do not. Your eyes still have that sparkle of innocence.” He finished, but then added, “it’s quite... captivating, if I do say so myself.”

“Even if what you are saying is true-” you interjected, “how do you expect me to escape this prison? There is only one way in, and only one way out -- and it is through that door right there-” you pointed to the doorway cut out of stone, jailed by more bars.

Jin Zixuan smiled, “I’ve lived here my whole life. I know more ins and outs of this palace than you could imagine.” He pulled something from his outer robe as he stood, tossing down another letter into your hands as he looked around. “The guards have switched -- I will leave you more letters with my plans. Keep them hidden, keep them safe.” 

And then he was gone.

Days bled into nights, which morphed into the longest few months you had ever experienced. Having nothing to look at but your prison walls, the food becoming more and more inedible as the time went on; if it weren’t for your lingering hope of escape and your track keeping of each day, you were sure you would have gone mad.

But Jin Zixuan kept to his word. Visiting you every single day at sunrise on the dot, sometimes to simply just sit and talk, or to leave you more letters due to his rush to get done his princely deeds of the day. But in all the days you were stuck there, he had become the highlight of your day.

His smile, while regal and reserved, was always genuine. His voice would tell you stories of what was going on in the real world, stories you’d recall as you drifted to sleep each night. He was always helpful, never condescending... and it finally began to dawn on you that you might actually feel something for the Young Prince of Lanling Jin Sect.

This took a while for you to come to terms with. What if it had been just in your head? To be quite fair, he was the only man you had really had any contact with in... god knows how long. What if it was only your imagination that was making you picture the longing in his stares? Making you picture the somewhat suggestive sentences that hinted at wanting something more than just helping you?

But he was engaged... He had told you this much himself. To a woman who didn’t deserve how dismissive he had been to her as of late. That she was kind and sweet and caring, and deserved a better man to call a husband. It was hard for you to hide your dislike for the matter, to hide your jealousy, even as he expressed that it was only for show to keep the big sect families in harmony.

It was all a lot to process, and at the end of the day you at least knew to be true that you did in fact share some semblance of feelings for Jin Zixuan.

Months passed before the day had come. 

The day of your escape.

The change of guards would take longer due to the need for increased protection following the wedding ceremony of the Young Lord Jin Zixuan and his bride to be, Young Lady Jiang. You had only seen her a few times in passing, and only had heard seldom things about her -- but you knew one thing for sure: she definitely was lucky to be able to spend the rest of her life by his side. Something at this point you could only wish for.

A knock sounded from the barred door of your cell, and you lifted your head from the ground where you lay to see a familiar face. Jin Zixuan. He was dressed very well, in red robes as was custom for wedding ceremonies, and it honestly looked quite breathtaking on him.

The robe, which was normally a mix of golds and cream colored fabric, was a vibrant red that made his skin glow that much more than normal, it suited his tone well, and his hair was done up with the most royal braids you had ever seen. He looked amazing, and this was most likely the last image you would ever have of him.

At least it was a charming memory to have.

“Are you ready? We have little time, I’m awaiting for the word to begin the entry to the palace for the ceremony. I figure whilst everyone is busying themselves in the wedding hall... this would be the best time.” Jin Zixuan spoke, and you felt a heavy feeling in your heart. But nonetheless, you nodded. Young Lord Jin was not yours to have, he was already spoken for... but yet you still could see a pain behind his deep brown irises.

Jin Zixuan produced a small key from inside his sleeve, and for the first time since your imprisonment, you saw that cell door open and heard it creak. As you stepped outside, into the prison hall, you saw not a single guard was in sight. With a quick look you both shared together, he took your hand and began to lead you down the hall.

You were thankful for his aid, because even if you had managed to conspire this plan yourself, you would have gotten lost easily in the maze of halls. 

After what had seemed like forever, you were stopped by his arm curling around your form to jerk you back between two pillars against a stone wall. His hand came clasped over your mouth to silence any yelps that betrayed you from the surprise, and just as you were about to ask him why he had stopped you, when you heard it.

Guards. The clink of their swords. The sound of them talking. You heard at least two to your left, and even more to your right. You looked up at Jin Zixuan with a look of fear -- not for you, but for him. What would happen to him if he was caught helping a fugitive? A criminal?

He didn’t seem to share that same look of fear though, because he reached above him to pull a small pin from what looked like an embedding in the wall, and just like that, the wall behind you disappeared, only to be realigned in place soundlessly. 

It had taken you nearly off your feet, if it hadn’t been for the Young Prince’s grip on your waist holding you steady. As darkness encased the both of you, the only light allotted a few torches along the tunnel that lay before you, you felt him move before a rustling of fabric sounded, a dark blue robe being held out to you. 

“The less suspicious you seem when you get to the outside world, the better.” He explained, and after the robe was passed to your hands he turned around to politely allow you to change.

You quickly made work of your outer robe, ignoring the blush coloring your cheeks that you were thankful was hardly noticeable in the lighting, slipping on the disguise and making sure it was secure before clearing your throat. “I am finished, Young Lord Jin.” You said solemnly, your head downcast as he turned back around.

He nervously shuffled in place, holding a hand out to you. “Shall we?” He ushered, and you took it gingerly, feeling his warm, big hand, engulf your smaller, colder one as the two of you began to sprint down the tunnel. 

You were beginning to run out of breath, panting as you tried your best to keep up with him; but the fact of the matter was you had been confined to a dungeon prison cell for nearly a year in preparation for your escape, you weren’t in the best shape to run this way.

But it wasn’t endless, because at the end of the tunnel was a wall. Jin Zixuan reached up, grabbing onto a small string as he passed it to you. 

“If you pull this string, it will remove the pin above your head. The wall will shift open, just enough for you to sneak past... If you continue down the tunnel, it will let you out just outside of the city.” He said, his face alight with the torches next to him. He seemed... nervous, but not because of the big risk he was taking by busting you out.

“I know our time is almost up... but may I please be frank with you if only for a moment, Cultivator (Y/N)?” Your eyes were hopeful as you looked up at him, “of course.”

“We have spent quite a lot of time together over the months, and while I know it is very much frowned upon given our social statuses as well as my pre-arranged betrothal-”

“Young Lord Jin, please, do not hold back what it is you wish to say.” You cut him off, the anticipation nearly killing you.

He looked down at his hands clasped before him. “I... I have begun to grow a liking to you. An attachment I know is not socially acceptable. Once I become Ruler of the Lanling Jin Sect, your crimes would become nothing more than memory -- but that isn’t for a long, long time-“ He was rambling again, and you reached out a hand to steady his own.

You couldn’t quell the joy in your heart as you asked, “would you wait that long? Would you wait long enough til you were crowned leader to see me again?“ You inquired, and he blinked for a moment, before a big smile broke across his face. “I would.“

With all the courage you could muster, all things considered, you leaned up and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. They were soft and pillow-like, and he chased your own lips even as you pulled away, unable to hide your happiness and fondness as you pulled on the string. 

“Then I suppose our worries of never seeing each other again are nothing to be thought of then, don’t you, Jin Zixuan?”

And just like that, you were running out to your freedom, chasing the future where you could walk in the sun with Jin Zixuan.

general masterlist

#jin zixuan #the untamed jin zixuan #the untamed #mdzs #mdzs reader insert

[sukunas-play-thing]

Hi ! I saw your posts on my dashboard and I know we don’t interact that much but...

I just wanted to check up on you 😔 pls don’t let their words get to you ☹️ No one should say that to another person and I mean NO ONE TF IDC WHO U ARE BUT WHAT’S WRONG WITH U 😡

They should have known better. I mean you placed all the tags you could place in your blog, how could they just disregard that?

Hope you’re okay bubs! I’ll try to support you in ways that I can 😤👊🏻💢 Stay safe oki? ❣️😷

🍃

Babe this is really sweet you made my heart soar and I agree 100% with what you said thank you sm ily 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞.

Tbh for more context on what happened, I made a comment on a blog post under the choso tag (bc brainrot) and someone was complaining about his animated look. And I expressed how I liked it. Next thing I know I'm Being called a freak and to get off their blog. Then their mutual started harassing me and telling me to [REDACTED]. Made it seem like I was talking to an actual minor hence my constant rb responses etc and it turned out it was about my tendou thirst post I made and how me n a mutual was discussing it. Ig it's under his tag regardless of the fact I put the tags in as thirst and NSFW etc. That's what they attacked me over liiiiiiike if ya had seen that post before. Then. Why didn't you as a minor(s) block me afterwards??? Like the whole thing could've been avoided had ya kiddie asses blocked me her and the proper tags.??? Idk it was honestly so damn stupid. And I'm sorry if any of those posts triggered you or anyone else I shouldn't have responded to them period.

But I thought I was interacting with someone I shouldn't have with the way they came at me and I needed their @ so I could block them. But alas. It was about a fictional character they claiemd was 16 . But actually wasn't 16 anyways. It was a whole ass mess and I apologize that your dash was filled with that 😢😓 but you coming and checking on me .. thank you I really freaking appreciate you and anyone that came to support me. I may not be much of a content creator but it's genuinely amazing and makes me feel welcome being supported. It means so much to me bby you have no idea.

Btw, my friend roasted that minor so bad they are posting completely different content now. Which was absolutely hilarious.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

#tw discourse #just some wine chats #league of friendship #admin talks #answered ask #🍃//tara's tavern

[ffxivimagines]

fidelity | Fic for DarthSuki

Thank you so much for your patience and support @darthsuki! I had a lovely time working with Samilen ^^

Ao3 Link

Rating: G 

Category: M/M

Applicable tags: Stormblood spoilers, RDM questline references, I went a little hard on the pining can you tell, mutual pining

Summary: Maybe Samilen shouldn't have read so heavily into X'rhun's many shows of affection, but maybe he could have stood to had a little more confidence as well. 

There is a letter waiting for him when Samilien slides onto a bar stool inside the Quicksand. Momodi smiles knowingly, sliding the folded paper across the counter toward him, and says, “Someone left a little somethin’ for you. I didn’t peek.” She finishes her sentence off with a wink. Honest to Menphina, a wink. 

Samilen… is not sure how he should feel about that. Momodi isn’t the sort to gossip (usually) but the way she’s watching him promises trouble. 

He takes the letter and opens it gingerly. The first thing he notices is the familiar pattern of X’rhun’s not-quite-cursive spelling out “To my dearest Samilen” like they were lovers and not just comrades (though the idea of being involved in that way is by no means a bad one). He tended to title nearly all his letters the same. The notable differences are simply where the comma is placed or what comes after the sappy opening line. 

In this case, the latter that follows is no less affectionate as it is urgent. They rarely correspond via paper means─while enjoyable to send and receive, they are easy to track and intercept─and receiving written correspondence is always a welcome surprise. The letter reads:

To my dearest Samilen, 

‘Tis a rare occasion I can write to you. I can only pray this letter finds you in good health and in better time. There have been more skirmishes with the Empire as of late and I have been sorely missing your presence at my side. Do write me a response if you are able.

Sincerely,

Rhun

The trouble with Garlemald is standard fare for the both of them, but what is not by any means standard is the scribbled footnote saying that a package should be arriving within a few days (or so X’rhun hopes). 

Momodi giggles behind her hand and asks, “An admirer, perhaps?”

Samilen is tempted to reply, but flounders. X’rhun is a comrade. A friend. Not an… admirer. He hasn't shown the slightest inclination that he views Samilen in that way, either. He settles for shaking his head. Momodi frowns. 

“A shame, that. You’re a lovely young man,” she says, disapproving of his apparent lack of prospects. “I’ll make sure you know when that package of yours arrives.”

Samilen excuses himself, tucking the letter into his pack, and tries very hard not to think of exactly why X’rhun is sending him a parcel. They are both affectionate in their own ways, but this can’t be meant in that way. X’rhun has given him things before (like the all-important Soulstone that allowed him to take up Red magic) but he really shouldn’t be reading this far into it. It would just serve to get his hopes up over nothing. 

With that thought in mind, Samilen goes about his day. He manages to successfully forget about the promised package until he prepares to check out of the inn and head out of Ul’dah. Momodi slides a parcel across the countertop before he can even hand her his room key and says, “That admirer of yours sent a little somethin’ extra, it looks like. Make sure to write back, Samilen! Leadin’ them on isn’t like you.”

He flusters, ears flattening close to his head. “It’s not like that,” he signs frantically.

“They sure don’t think so.”

He places his key on the counter with a pointed clack, counts out Gil for his stay, and takes the package under an arm before departing. Momodi calls after him, tone teasing, and he tries not to give her words any credence. He’s already on the airship and sat in a corner with his bag in his lap when he remembers that he never even opened the parcel currently making a menace of itself where it’s wedged between cuttings he’d collected from throughout Thanalan. He extricates it with care (little for the box itself and more for the phials it was sitting on top of) and simply stares. 

There, in X’rhun’s typical script, is a label that reads: To my dearest companion.

Samilen thinks he may have missed something. Multiple somethings. Like how they used to share drinks all too often and X’rhun’s hand would stray from his elbow to his waist. How he always signs things as Rhun in an all-too-intimate show of trust and affection. 

Affection that Samilen would still like to think is platonic, lest he drown in embarrassment. 

He feels his cheeks heat the longer he looks at the little parchment tag, so he tears apart the wrapping and hopes that the little voice inside his head saying that it is definitely a courtship gift will be proven wrong. The box inside is made of thin plywood sheets and left shut with a length of butcher’s twine. It isn’t much to look at, all told. It’s simply standard for things that might be damaged during a courier’s travels. Nothing more and nothing less. 

Samilen finds he is somehow disappointed. 

He unties the twine and lifts the lid. Inside is a pocketbook─the type he would expect to find in Gridania proper and not wherever X’rhun was camped out─with close-set type and a thick, cardstock cover. “A Horticulturist’s Guide to Ala Mhigan Flowers'' the title reads and maybe Samilen should have had more care when flipping through the pages because there are loose flower petals all over his lap, now. He picks them up delicately, cursing quietly when the airship lurches and he accidentally punctures the delicate surface of what he assumes to be the remnants of a carnation. He sweeps all the petals into the box and carefully continues flicking through the book. He gets to the second to last entry, careful of the myriad pressed flowers between the pages, when a small scribble catches his eye. 

X’rhun’s familiar scrawl fills up the margin. Samilen squints, reading his writing with some difficulty. The words are barely spaced and the looping script has become a curse where lines intersect and make nonsensical symbols instead of letters. He manages most of it, though. 

I hope you enjoy the gift. It would bring me great joy if this has managed to arrive safely into your care. Do take a moment to read the entry on this page. I think you’ll find it most enlightening. 

There, circled in blue ink, is a little section explaining the meaning of the plant in floriographer’s terms. Jonquil is something he recognizes. It’s resemblance to the daffodil is a point of constant contention for beginner botanists. It also… isn’t a flower he ever thought to look into for more than cultivation methods. He wishes he had, now, because it stands for desire─both toward someone but also to have that feeling reciprocated─and X’rhun had pointed it out very much on purpose. 

Samilen realizes with such sharp clarity it nearly hurts that he has been ignoring legitimate courtship attempts. Readily given company, trust with each other’s safety, tokens of affection, physical closeness, and letters titled and signed with ever-increasing intimacy. X’rhun has been courting him (him! By Menphina!) and wanted to know if he returned the feeling. 

He feels like he’s nearly buzzing by the time the airship lands and he disembarks. It’s a wonder he manages to not crash into anyone on his way home because all he can think of is that he wasn’t reading too much into gestures, but rather that he had been ignoring them. He sits down and pulls out a sheet of parchment the second he’s inside, nearly forgetting to close the door behind himself. He stares at it, unseeing, before realizing that he has to write on it in order to send a reply. 

How could he even title it? To X’rhun? Certainly not! Well, maybe. He had every other time they corresponded, but this felt different. He would be replying with the knowledge that it wasn’t just letters between friends. But, then again, X’rhun had been attempting to court him for many a month. He could respond the way he has before and address the unspoken question, but doing it through a letter also feels less than genuine, considering how recent of a realization it is. 

He settles for a request to meet and agonizes over how to word it. By the time the letter is written, folded, and appropriately labeled for delivery, Samilen thinks he may be making a mistake. The courier is already down the road, however, and it’s late enough he simply sorts out the cuttings in his bag so he can attend them come morning. He looks at the little book sitting innocuously next to the wrapped bits of plant and decides not to snuff his lamp. He has a lot more reading to do if he intends to respond in kind. 

When a reply arrives, it’s in the hands of a red-coated Seeker whose roguish smile barely manages to cover his nerves. “Is this the residence of a Samilen Jawantal? I have a letter for him.”

#FFXIV #ffxiv commissions #ffxiv commission #fanfic #Final Fantasy XIV #Final Fantasy 14 #ao3 link #writers on Ao3 #ao3fic #x'rhun tia #x'rhun #red mage wol #botanist wol #samilen jawantal #gift fic #commission #commissions #writing commissions #miqo'te #ffxiv miqo #miqo’te wol #moon keeper wol #moon keeper #fluff #pining #romance #flirting #floriography #stormblood #ffxiv stormblood

[littlehollyleaf]

(I had a really long, detailed version of this....... but Tumblr ate it D’: so this is... heavily abridged, sorry!)

Tagged by the ever lovely @castiel-saved-me-from-myself​ <3

pick 10 ships without reading the questions

Interesting... ok!

1. Dean/Cas (obviously)

2. Aziraphale/Crowley

3. Nygmobblepot

4. Foxma

5. Babitha

6. Amy/Rory

7. Nomi/Amanita

8. Eve/Flynn

9. Catradora

10. Cosima/Delphine

1. Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter that you first started shipping 6?

I think I started shipping Amy/Rory during the Venice fish monster ep - cos that was when I felt Amy really did love him back and they had a future together. Before I suspected that her running away with the Doctor was a sign she and Rory weren’t right for each other.

2. Have you ever read a FanFiction about 2?

Only read a handful of Ineffable fic. Overall I’m perfectly happy with the canon alone.

3. Has a picture of 4 ever been your screen saver/profile picture/tumblr?

Yes I’ve had Foxma themed phone backgrounds and a tumblr header :)

4. If 7 were to suddenly break-up today, what would your reaction be?

Disbelief and disapproval. Nomi and Amanita were one of the great constants of Sense8 for me. I think a break up would be out of character for them tbh. Plus it would be denying the black and trans characters a rare example of a happy ending, which would suck.

5. Why is 1 so important?

I wrote such a detailed thing about how DeanCas is not only important to me personally but also how I feel it’s been important for TV/media in general... ugh, tumblr!

In a nutshell - this ship helped me better myself in various ways. It introduced me to fandom,  which boosted my confidence and independence via increased socialisation; it encouraged me to write more, which improved my writing skills; meta discussions educated me on lots of issues, inc. but not limited to abuse, sexuality, gender identit, autism and racism.

I also genuinely believe that the loud and open fandom support of the ship has been a significant help in the ongoing battle for more and better queer rep in media.

6. Is 9 a funny ship or a serious ship?

Serious! Catra and Adora’s relationship is a core part of the whole show, relating to lots of the wider themes of abuse, toxic behaviour, growth and forgiveness. Plus the significance of a same sex romance involving the lead character in a CHILDREN’S CARTOON really cannot be overstated.

(but it is also cute and funny sometimes :p)

7. Out of all of the ships listed, which ship has the most chemistry?

I’ve spoken before about having issues with the concept of ‘chemistry.’ If I ship characters it’s usually because I find the combination of their characterisation and story arcs interesting/compelling. I often don’t notice (or I guess care about?) chemistry.

So I think I’m not qualified to answer this one.

8. Out of all of your ships listed, which ship has the strongest bond?

Agreeing with @castiel-saved-me-from-myself​ here - you can’t really beat the Ineffables millenia long romance :)

9. How many times have you read/watched 8’s fandom?

I’ve rewatched The Librarians 2 or 3 times now. It’s DAFT. But it’s fun. And Eve and Flynn make me feel warm and fuzzy.

10. Which ship has lasted the longest?

Again, as @castiel-saved-me-from-myself​ said - it’s gotta be the Ineffables, both within AND outside of the story, since Good Omens was originally published over 30 years ago and the Zira/Crowley shippers have been going strong all that time. Otherwise it’s DeanCas.

(though idk if Catradora was a ship back when the original She Ra cartoon was airing, or when the original cartoon was made, so it’s possible that is also a contender!)

11. How many times, if ever, has 2 broken up?

Lol at @castiel-saved-me-from-myself​ for getting Nygmob for this one, as their relationship is, like, 90% break up :P

For the Ineffables though it’s basically just the once - when Zira chooses Heaven over Crowley. Not made such a Big Deal in the book IIRC, but in the show it’s the infamous Bandstand Break Up scene.

All other separations are only minor, temporary squabbles imo. Which is what makes the Bandstand scene so PAINFULLY, BEAUTIFULLY, ANGSTY AND EMOTIONAL and why I love it so! 

12. If the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive, 2 or 8?

I figure angels and demons probably can’t be killed by zombies, so the Ineffables are the most likely.

But Eve and Flynn did actually face off against zombie-ghost things in an alt universe during a whole Loom of Fate plot and survived, so I think they’d probably also make it.

13. Did 5 ever have to hide their relationship for any reason?

No, Babs and Tabs were always open about being together, even when Tabs was also in a relationship with Butch.

I might argue they hid the depth of their feelings for each other though, even from themselves, and instead made out what they had together was just a casual ‘friends with benefits’ type thing.

Though Tabs did hide things a little when she sent assassins after Jim cos she blamed him for putting Babs in a coma. She clearly knew her brother would disappprove, which is why she didn’t tell him what she was doing. I guess that kinda counts as hiding her relationship with Babs? She was trying to conceal how much Babs mattered to her?

14. Is 4 still together?

Lol, Foxma were never together (ALAS!). But the show did end with their lingering fondness for each other intact I think.

15. Is 3 canon?

Is Nygmobblepot canon? Rather a touchy question for the fandom tbh.

If we are talking EXPLICIT canon - then no. 

They never got a kiss or a MUTUAL love declaration (and they had a controversial ‘we’re brothers’ exchange in the penultimate episode) - ergo there is not enough, imo, to say they ended the show officially romantically involved.

However, Ozzie DID EXPLICITLY DECLARE HIS ROMANTIC LOVE for Ed, and that was never rescinded. There is also LOTS OF SUBTEXT floating around Ed to imply he reciprocates. Plus they did end the show together as clear Partners in Crime.

So is Nygmob subtextual canon?

I would say yes.

But explicit, CANON canon?

A frustrating no that fandom remains, understandably, critical about.

16. If all 10 ships were put into a couple’s Hunger Games, which couple would win?

I think a toss up between Nygmob and Babitha - because everyone else has too many morals that would hold them back from killing :p

(and since Ed and Oz have both bested Babs and Tabs in the past I lean towards them... but it would depend on when in Gotham canon the games were happening!)

17. Has anybody ever tried to sabotage 10’s ship?

Breaking up Cosima and Delphine was a LITERAL PLOT POINT of Orphan Black at one point, so very much yes! I forget the details (the show got very twisty, with lots of different organisations working on different agendas in the shadows), but I’m pretty sure Delphine was shot because she was protecting Cosima. I remember it BROKE MY HEART and I thought it was a casebook example of Bury Your Gays. But, spoiler: it wasn’t ;)

18. Which ship would you defend to the death and beyond?

Going with DeanCas, because I think that, historically, it’s the one that’s been in most need of defending.

19. Do you spend hours a day going through 1’s tumblr page?

Not anymore I’m afraid. Though 3 or so years ago I used to spend most of my free time on DeanCas and spn meta. Ah, nostalgia.

20. If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the ten ships to break up forever or else she´d break them all forever, which ship would you sink?

Foxma. Because while I adore the idea of a messy, confused ~something between them, in my heart I know that Foxy deserves better :P

I was too tired to bother with tagging the first time I completed this - DEF not gonna bother now!

Play if you want - it’s fun :D

#a true but boring story #about me

[sweetness-doesnt-touch-my-face]

I’ve never really addressed my grief on here. I can only assume that people thought I was over it. That is far from the truth, if anything. I recently went to re-watch one of my favorite videos and though it was a given to see rip comments, what struck me the most is that most of them were posted three months ago. 

3 months ago.

I guess quarantine is to blame for losing track of time. But I partly think it’s because it feels like it’s only been a week since everything. My grief is unbelievably raw in a way that I never expected. They say it eases as the months/years go by but I’m finding it inexplicably hard to imagine that I’ll ever reach a point of which this doesn’t affect me as it continues to do so. 

There’s not a single day that goes by where I don’t think of her. It’s impossible. Every sad song suddenly becomes about her. The world’s events and current political climate just makes me yearn for her dazzling commentary, for which she was always unapologetically vocal about. Her last Instagram post is a testament to the fact. But the comments are now a breeding ground for heartfelt messages.

I know she’d love all this attention. Though it has died down since January, I feel like her absence is very much so embedded in those that knew her. We are more considerate about her than ever before. There are people who have never read Prozac Nation until now, because god knows it’s incredibly in fashion to feel included in the death of somebody that they otherwise would have disregarded.

If you didn’t realize by this point that I’m deliberately avoiding talking about my personal experience - I’m here. This is different. Because unlike every other idol of mine that has passed away before my acknowledgement. This is real. This is somebody who I existed with in a mutual lifetime. This is someone who I exchanged pleasantries with on more than a dozen occasions.

This is the first woman who I ever looked up to. Someone who truly understood my soul being on every painful level. Who instantly recognised my struggles and actively told me to keep the faith. I can safely say that I told her absolutely everything that I could have ever wanted her to know. I have a folder of screenshots that include every mention and like from her side of the world.

And yet, it still feels like it wasn’t enough. The most funniest thing to me is that I somehow never told her that I was a writer or that I was striving to obtain the success that was similar to hers. There was only one instance between us that I talked about myself. I showered her with compliments. I grew to be a master at that. I always knew what to say. I wanted to be seen. But please don’t get me wrong, because I genuinely meant every single word.

I knew that she frequently checked her name tag. So she saw everything that was being posted about her. Whether it was a habit of self-assurance or the irrational need to know what people thought about her. She was oh so humble when it came to giving thanks. She always told me that I was too kind. Perhaps because people had never been the sheer level of kindness that she wanted.

Who couldn’t be kind to Elizabeth Wurtzel?

It wasn’t too far of a stretch to believe that one day I’d meet her at a book signing in new york city. So that I could be more kind than I have ever been. To hug my sister in spirit and thank her for the thousandth time for all that she did. Alas, it is yet another dream that has been crushed by the unforgiving reality.

I can’t say it. I cry at least once a week while petting my annoyed cat. I visit her every day on a website where you can leave virtual flowers on people’s online memorial of sorts. I leave messages as if she can read everything I type. Just like she used to when I’d comment on her posts. A few days ago some dear people left her the following notes:

The other person who is not my mother messaged me later that day to say that she was sure that Lizzie is smiling down upon me. They are the only two people who have personally taken note of my grief. Everyone else seems to ignore it because some may find it awkward, I guess. I feel this loss greater than any others in my past. I didn’t think it was possible. But as I mentioned before, it’s because this is the only person that I admire (thus far) on whom I got to openly appreciate and talk with while they were still alive.

I cannot forget this. I’m not okay. She was/is my world. The only woman that I let myself get attached to. Nobody thought that she’d be leaving anytime soon. Most of us didn’t even know that she was in the midst of her final fight. Therefore, it hurts all the more. My thoughts mostly revolve around her cause of death. How she felt. What 2019 really was for her. It’s as if I’m still struggling to comprehend/process the whole ordeal. I am. I will until god knows how long.

Sometimes, I’ll put my playlist on shuffle and endure the moment of listening to the song that reminds me of her the most. Look On Down From The Bridge by Mazzy Star. It details exactly how I feel about all of this. How I imagine her long overdue reaching of eternal peace. But in the end, I’m still waiting for her to come back and join us once more in the trenches of survival that is this life.

How could I say goodbye.

I don’t think I ever will.

#I love you #until the end of time #elizabeth wurtzel

[philosopherking1887]

Get to know me

Tagged by @incredifishface and @illwynd... several days ago. Sorry I’m slow...

Favorite colors: Combinations of blue, green, and gray -- ocean colors.

Last song I listened to: Intentionally? Uh... I don’t know, I don’t put on music that often. I have a “Working” playlist of mellow stuff that doesn’t distract me, but I’ve been home in California and mostly listening to NPR in the background, and in my mom’s car I listen to NPR or satellite radio. I can’t remember what was on when she was driving me to the airport. Other than “My Shot” from Hamilton, which came up on the Broadway station. Wow, that was a profoundly uncool paragraph.

Favorite song: Just one? Possibly still the “Reconciliation” movement of Ralph Vaughan Williams’ Dona Nobis Pacem, insofar as that counts as a song. Or Michael Tippett’s gorgeous setting of “Deep River” in A Child of Our Time -- especially in its original context as the last haunting movement of that strange, dissonant work.

You want more normal stuff? Belle & Sebastian’s The Life Pursuit has some great songs, including “Another Sunny Day” (which often gets stuck in my head following weather reports), “The Blues Are Still Blue,” and “Dress Up in You.” The Decemberists’ “O Valencia!” is another fun(?) earworm. I’m also a sucker for Sufjan Stevens’ “Casimir Pulaski Day.” I know it’s a slightly outdated meme about misanthropes, but I genuinely like The Mountain Goats’ “No Children.”

Favorite musicians/artists: As you can probably judge from the above, I like light indie neo-/ pseudo-folk, preferably with clever lyrics and/or an amazing vocalist. Belle & Sebastian, Ben Folds, The Decemberists, Feist, Florence + the Machine... Sue me, but I like early Adele and Mumford & Sons, early and middle Coldplay (I really liked Viva La Vida). I like a lot of the things my parents introduced me to: the Beatles (of course); Crosby, Stills, & Nash (with or without Young); Elvis Costello; weird orchestral prog rock like The Moody Blues (but I hate Jethro Tull); 60s folk like Judy Collins and Steeleye Span, and some of my dad’s collection of Celtic music (Altan is really good). And Bowie and Queen, of course, though I associate that with @iscariotsss‘s and my mutual friend rather than my parents.

Last film I watched: I watched The Princess and the Frog on the plane today/last night (what day is it? what time is it? where and who am I?). Parts of it are surprisingly dark...

Favorite TV show watched: I’m a fan of limited run TV shows that say what they need to say and then stop. Good Omens, of course, but also The Good Place and Cowboy Bebop. Firefly hadn’t said everything it wanted to, but it will never jump the shark. Buffy and Angel; the first 4 seasons of The West Wing and the first 2-3 of Sherlock; the first 3-ish of Game of Thrones were really good, but alas for the end... On a completely different note, I really enjoy RuPaul’s Drag Race. It’s good for when I want to turn my brain off.

Sweet, spicy, or savory: In the past I definitely would have said sweet, but my tastes have been changing. I just really like combinations of all 3 of these flavors, in a curry, a dessert, a cocktail, a wine...

Pets: Cats! Always cats. I’ve had 12 cats over the course of my life, including one point when my family had 9 at the same time... though only 3 of them were indoor cats; 3 were feral siblings that their mother had left in our backyard as kittens, and 3 were the kittens of the adult female (we know who the daddy was because one of the kittens looked Siamese...). My current cat is a cuddly but very demanding black female longhair named Meg.

Tagging: @angryowlet, @foundlingmother, @lucianalight, @loptmeer, @sabishiinaq, and whoever else wants to do it!

#about me