#Cuz i just really do not know anyone maybe my life seems a little lonely bc of that. idk.. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

larrysballetslippers · 2 years

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Hey love, it's the lost anon again! I haven't been here for a while sorry for that. I missed you. How are you doing? Have you been well? Hope you're getting all the love that you deserve <33

So well ig I'm here again cuz i have nowhere else to go haha . It's been a rough couple of days, maybe weeks. I can't seem to keep track of it. My parents keep having these arguments over small things. It's starting to be a regular thing now. Whatever the topic may be, my parents are arguing over almost every thing. My mum is always frustrated and on edge lately, partially bcuz of her work stress but shes not like she used to be. There are some fine days where it's kinda normal but i just feel like im the cause of it all. My dad's started to be lazy and oblivious to what's happening in the house and like not caring a lot about stuff and just uk not talking things seriously. And my mum thinks that's she's always to blame and that shes angry that no one helps her in doing the housework. I try to help but i just feel like i end up making it worse uk. And buz my mums always in a bad mood it gets taken out of me all the time. Whenever I go to talk i feel like im doing something wrong. And my dad seems to have stopped worrying about it. I tried talking to my mum and asking what's wrong but all i get is the feeling that it's because of me, bcuz i did something wrong. And this environment is affecting me more than i thought it would. My mental health has been shit for the last couple of weeks. I feel hopeless and lazy and just i don't have energy to do anything. It's like i don't feel anything. I'm always trying to be happy ig, or at least not useless and broken. But i feel so lonely and stuck. I haven't been able to talk about my feels and idk if there anyone in my life that can listen to me and not judge me for it? I feel so suffocated and like i should just not exist. I feel the old depressed me coming back and idk how to stop that.

Sorry for the venting but I have nowhere else to go I'm really sorry

Hello lost anon💜💜 Before we start talking, let's hug. Pretend you're under my wing and I'm hugging you tight, all you feel is my hug. Do you feel it? Now, hug yourself for me, really really tight, then let go. That's feeling, you feel things, you're alive and you have all the feelings in the world, how numb you may thing you are. This probably will be very very long and a little personal, so cut.

I can relate to your situation more than you think. My parents also fight a lot, mostly about money. Money has been the source of our problems for the past... 12 years, may even more. My mom stopped working to take care of me and my sister, because she couldn't juggle all the balls. My dad doesn't do anything in the house, or for his children. All he does is earn money. You would think that was normal at a time, but the problem is, he expected my mom to keep working while doing EVERYTHING in the house. My dad doesn't even clean his dirty plates and only cooks when my mom is bedridden or has to be out for an emergency. So he makes my mom angry, and she feels broken and powerful.

I'm not saying that you're mom's like that, but remember that she's human too. While I know you already talked to her, maybe try to just hear her out? Go sit next to her and give her an hug, maybe she doesn't understand at first and won't talk. But begin about your day and ask about hers. Maybe after a while she will feel like she can talk to you about things. That will lead to you being able to talk to her. Without her getting angry, or you feeling guilty. Also, if possible, talk to you dad. He's still your father and although I can't, you should try to talk to him as well.

About your feelings of guilt. I can actually relate soooo well, more than you could think. I feel guilty that my mom had to stop working, so she would be dependent of my father. If she didn't, she's wouldn't be this broken. I feel guilty that I was born, that she is linked to this man for the rest of her life. Yes my sister came first, but of course I don't blame her. I only blame myself. I feel guilty that I don't have a good relationship with my dad, because she could just run away and divorce him if I did. Leave us behind, but she can't. If she goes, she has to take me. The most painful thing, I always thought that, but I didn't know if she actually considered it. But then she told me she couldn't go, because she had to take me. It gave me an understanding that my mom, she has dark thoughts, she is not a goddess that can find anything, do anything, be amazing all the time. She's human, but most importantly, she fucking loves me enough to stay. Listen to me one more time. SHE FUCKING LOVES ME ENOUGH TO STAY.

You're enough, she may get angry and upset with you, but she LOVE YOU ENOUGH TO STAY. You're her child, her everything in the world. Go to her, and just... cry. Don't put on a smile and try to be brave, just cry. She may not understand what's going on, but that doesn't mean you're not allowed to receive her love. You are the most important thing in her life and anyone who says you're not, can fucking disappear from your life.

Arguments between parents fucks with your head, but don't give up on hope. Even if you don't manage to talk to anyone about it, you can be free one day. You can leave one day, so don't give up hope. You feeling lazy and hopeless is a sign of depression, but now you see it's coming, don't give up. Remind yourself your not alone, remind yourself that life's more than you. You're just a small piece of the puzzle and you can't always change the puzzle yourself. And that's okay, that's how life is. But you're never to blame.

Get out of bed if you can, take a shower if you can, eat something you liked as a kid. Lots of sugar. Drink a glass of water if you can. Listen to your favorite song of your childhood, and then from now. Read a book if you like book. Watch your comfort movie if you have one. Draw for the sake of drawing. Dance for the sake of dancing. Scream if you need to, cry if you need to. You exist, your soul is thriving, larger than your body. You may feel small, you may feel alone, but you're neither. You were big enough to come and talk to me, you are loved by so many, you're never alone.

I'm doing alright actually, I am very unstable and honestly a lot of the problems you have, I have too, so this has been very emotional for me. But, I have been trying to start every day as a new day, a new day with emotions that don't have to be the same as the day before. I have been kinder to myself, to my inner child. I have been holding her hand, listening to her, making sure her needs are met. We are still working on the communication between us, but it's going very well. So, for the most part, I have been very well.

Take care love, and remember it all will be alright 💗

#anon asks #food tw #depression mention

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lilacprincesstears · 5 months

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Sad Girl Supercut (Serena Cries at Commercials)

A rotten place,

Where no one notices my fallen face.

A solemn fate,

For what was once a site of grace.

Call it hate,

Call it love gone wrong,

Or loss of taste.

But you don't want me

As an occupant of my own space.

Spill the contents of my torso

For a moment of your touch.

Wanting to tell you about my day,

But I've already said too much.

Corpse queen,

Looming over a frozen expanse.

The head of a crumbled dynasty,

Reduced to a pitiful figure,

Not woman, but symbol

Of abandon and ruin.

Her armies departed,

Her cities vacant,

She cries out into the expanse

For the heavens to strike her down.

An end to the misery

Is all she desires.

She lies down dizzy

In her chilly wedding bed,

Where her love, the witch,

Had rolled and kissed her

All those years ago.

I howl in my bed,

For everything I lost,

And what this cost me.

My chubby belly aches,

Cuz I can't feed myself,

Or lift my feet up.

I'm sleeping in my bra,

Because I'm not at home,

And they can't see me

Like you saw me

In my soft and powder white.

If my job knew everything they cost me.

Everything I lost

All because my stupid job.

I lost everything I know in the world,

All because my job,

My stupid fucking job.

I'm so stupid for still working at my job,

I'm a stupid slob,

I'm a stupid bitch.

I'm so tired of worrying on the job,

When I'm at my job,

Mt nasty filthy job.

Wake up puking cuz Ive gotta do my job,

Life's so fucking wrong,

I cry all night long,

About my stupid job.

I should really quit my little job,

My shitty little job,

Every day I'm robbed.

I feel useless, they're abusive,

I've been wronged.

They made me lose my home,

I'm a-fucking-lone,

I can't afford my loans,

And still I break my bones,

Just to please my job.

Almost like a little tiny baby ant,

Half stepped on,

Trying to peel the mushy parts

Off the dirty road,

With the parts that still work.

Maybe I'll make it,

But that is yet to be determined.

Rose, cherry, patchouli, amber,

Pink, black, lace, velvet.

Mushrooms, kittens, hearts, moons,

Incense, candles, oil perfumes.

Crab rangoons, sushi yachts,

Special sandwich.

Your special sandwich.

Sausage,

Sliced in half,

Broccoli and carrots sauteed in soy,

Red Sriracha on the top bun,

Green Sriracha on the bottom.

So many tiny weapons wielded

By vicious memory,

In it's unending attack

On my fragile psyche.

They come in shapes and forms.

An understanding feeling,

Between two human beings

What I need from new people

Is too much to ask.

Anyone who comes

To know me now,

Is taking on a sick sad girl.

A painting of a barmaid,

Whose tepid smile reveals

A dwindling inner light.

A not-quite-person

With sores

In places you can't see.

A washed up former housewife,

A would be prodigy gone wrong.

The thing about me,

Is I just want to feel the music,

And dance with someone who looks at me,

Like someone who is beautiful.

I just want to feel somebody

Feel me as I am.

I want to learn to hold somebody else's hand.

I want to stand on windy mountaintops,

With a companion by my side.

I want to fall asleep on beaches,

Until we're washed out by the tides.

I want to go to the amusement parks,

And hold them tight on all the rides.

To be chosen,

Longed for,

Adored.

Could that ever be me?

A giantess

With hairy legs

This unflattering frame.

Who is always afraid,

And almost always ashamed.

The crazy thing about being with you

Was that I almost felt safe.

For so long Serena seemed sure of herself.

At present, she stares into the furnace

Through the logs, the flames,

The embers and the ashes.

Through the wall,

Into the guts of her childhood home.

She puts perfume on,

Though there's nobody to smell it.

Nobody to drink her in.

Her head is through the furnace.

There's a painting of a dead cat

On the wall

She painted it a long time ago

With her sister, in the winter,

In the garage.

She's remembering someone and

Grieving her life.

Watching but not watching the

Television set.

Favorite shows turn to background noise

When she's staring through the wall

At the guts of the house.

She wonders if she's become sick.

She wonders if she'll detach from reality.

But she'll stay tethered, because she has to.

If not for herself, then for the few that love her.

Focus finally out of the guts,

Her attention turns to the TV.

She cries at commercials.

#bedroom #poetry #depression #self hate #self love #loss #breakup #reflection #memories #romance #love

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cipheress-to-k-pop · 3 years

Text

A Sister's Love

Pairing: Platonic Damian Wayne x Al Ghul!Reader

Warnings: Injuries and blood. Drugging, Trafficking and sexual assult but these are not the main themes.

Word Count: 4.9K

Summary: You realize you have a lot to learn about yourself outside of your little brother, Damian's, shadow.

A/N: Was originally gonna make this a Dick Grayson x Reader but realized it would be weird cuz of mixed families and stuff. And I don't wanna be pushing the boundaries of incest.

Growing up in the League of Assassins meant a lot of things for you. It meant that you were raised to be powerful and commanding. It meant you knew how to kill a man in 47 different ways and counting. It meant that you were raised to rightfully think that you were the best.

Although for every good thing there was always cons. Your schedule was rigid and your peers were unfeeling. Your mother most of all, but that didn't stop you from trying to win her affection. It was the reason why when your little brother was born you felt threatened.

That was until you met little Damian. Your mother had handed him to you with a smile of pride that she never showed you and you hated him. But then you saw his precious little face, a nose tinier than a button and adorable lips that were curled into a pout. He was so beautiful.

Since then, you put any differences you might have had with your mother behind you. According to Ra’s it would have been a mistake to show Damian such tenderness, to teach him about loyalty to your heart, instead of without it.

But Talia couldn't ignore the tug she felt in her heart seeing you and Damian together. You still worked hard, harder than she had ever seen before, now determined not to show that you were weak and have them take your brother from you. Damian followed your example, training to her approval, however taxing it was for him.

And more importantly, Damian loved you. You were the first woman he had ever loved and he was smart enough to know that would never be a mistake. You were his shelter in a storm, his fire in the cold. You were the best sibling that anyone could ever even dream of.

But then you had to part. At age 10, Damian went to live with his father, Bruce Wayne. You had never met the man when he was with your mother and you assumed you wouldn't need to, he wasn't your father.

Both you and Damian didn't want to leave each other. You'd miss your little brother and you'd miss the feeling in your chest whenever you'd look at him. Damian would miss home; he would miss your presence and he would miss the familiarity. But he couldn't stay.

That's something you learnt at the League. Damian couldn't stay, with you. He was meant for bigger things than you.

Another thing you learnt was that you didn't have to stay either. You wanted to see the world, see what everything else had in store for you. And your mother, bless her, gave you her blessing.

Of all the things the league taught you, there were things they missed out on. And a part of you was thankful for that. Because you enjoyed the feeling of wide-eyed wonderment when you stepped into a train station for the first time ever.

You had never tasted a chocolate muffin before, you realized as you stuffed your face at a local bakery. Coffee and chocolate muffins went well together. You liked sweet things better than spicy things, you noted when you didn't enjoy the tteokbokki you bought at a Korean food stall.

People were kind, not foolish. They smiled at you when you came in and genuinely asked you where you were headed. Like the woman you met on the tram who was heading to Washington DC. Even through the short ride, the two of you had bonded and she had left you with her phone number and a promise that if you were ever in DC, you would ring her up. Diana was trusting, too trusting. You could have assumed it was because she was stupid, but you wanted to believe it was because she was smarter than even you.

Some people were kind like her but of course, some were impolite and pig-headed. You of course didn't waste any time putting them in their place. Maybe that was why you shouldn't have any faith in humanity.

But isn't humanity just the thing you should be putting faith in?

It was fun at first, discovering new things, seeing how people really lived outside of books and things taught to you back at the League. You knew everything, you weren't naive enough to be oblivious but reading about something was miles apart from actually experiencing it.

After a while however, you got lonely, it was a huge world with people constantly moving and you've come to realize that unless you're with somebody, you can't really move from your place. Instead, you'd be stuck watching all of them. So, you sought after your brother.

It was easy enough to track Bruce Wayne, he lived in a house large enough to be seen from outer space. Getting to Gotham took longer than you expected. Time passed so easily when you didn't have a purpose but now that you had somewhere you needed to be, the train couldn't go any slower.

Gotham City was less gloomy than people made it out to be. The sun was shining and the city was bustling. In some ways, it seemed a little homey. Maybe that was because you didn't have to worry about someone hurting you. If anything, they should pray that they don't choose you as their next victim.

Of course, you could've gone to Wayne Manor and introduced yourself civilly but you wanted to see Damian more than anything and didn't want to delay it any longer. And more than that, you wanted to see Damian is his cute little school uniform.

That's what led you to wait outside of the well-reputed Gotham University, waiting patiently for the bell to ring and students to file out of it. You already knew that they wouldn't come out singing like in the movies but a very small fraction of you still hoped.

Your heartrate increased with every passing minute, excited to meet your brother after nearly a year of being apart. Eventually, the bell did ring and students began trickling out of the doors, looking like bumble bees, excitedly zipping around and talking to their friends.

'Would this have been my life if I was never born in the League?' You wondered, looking at a girl who was animatedly chatting with her friend, arms interlocked as they moved towards the parking lot where their parents were waiting.

When you finally saw Damian, you suddenly felt out of place. Like an outsider watching someone else's brother when you saw his eyes lock onto someone in the commons. Even though you weren't on the school campus, you could still recognize who it was.

Richard Grayson, oldest son of Bruce Wayne, waiting to pick up your little brother on a motor cycle.

And for the first time in your life, you experienced insecurity, watching them greet each other like brothers. The feeling was sour and you wondered if it was a mistake coming here, thinking that you still had a place here.

It was true, people didn't move from their place unless they had someone to go with. You hadn't felt fulfilled like that since your brother stopped being at your side. He was everything you knew. It was just your mistake for thinking that in the year apart your brother wouldn't have found anyone either.

***

"Drake, pull up the security cameras from today at my school parking lot." Damian ordered, stepping into the Batcave.

"No 'Hello', no 'How you doing?', it's always 'Tim, do this' 'Drake, do that'," Tim commented sarcastically but still pulled up whatever he needed, "And then as soon as I give you what I want, you're going to forget me again. And not even visit the kids."

Dick spared him a laugh at his dramatic scene, ruffling his hair as greeting and then turned his attention to the screen. The footage was played at double the speed until Damian's eyes locked onto just what he wanted to find.

It was just for a second, when Dick's motorcycle had zoomed past but that was all he needed. Damian had seen your face and it wasn't any mistake, he'd know you even if he was blind. Even though he was so sure it had been you, he still couldn't hide the way his body froze, eyes wide when he saw your face.

It was the same face he'd see every night before he went to bed and the very first person he wanted to see every time he woke up. Your image was what came into his mind when he thought of being nurtured, when he thought of being safe.

There was a time when he was younger, too young, there was a thunder storm. He doesn't remember much from the night, just hiding his face against your chest and you wrapping a blanket around him. His mother trained him even harder the next day, until he almost dropped but he'd never forget curling up to your warmth. Not even now, when he knew that thunder storms were the least of his fears.

It was as simple as that. With his father and brothers, he didn't have to worry about looking weak, he didn't think of love as a weakness, rather he considered it as the fuel behind strength. Yes, his father taught him well. And now he would show you just how much he's grown. So, you can be proud of him.

"We need to find her."

"Why? Who is she?"

"My sister."

***

Of all the things you wanted to experience, visiting a bar was one of them. Was the air really enough to intoxicate you? Were you really going to lose all sense when you stepped into it? Would be able to drink your troubles away?

You were sorely disappointed. The alcohol didn't taste good, it burned when you swallowed it and made your tongue feel fuzzy. The music was so loud that your brain began throbbing against your skull to the beat of the song.

Men were picking fights and women were having fun but even then, you couldn't find it in yourself to get up and actually have fun. I mean, how were you supposed to? How was cosying up against a drunk man supposed to make you feel better? How was getting lost in throngs of sweaty people who didn't know what personal space was meant to improve your mood?

If anything, it just reminded you of just how pathetic your life was.

You were realizing you had no purpose. Damian was all you had known for years now, knowing only to protect him with your life and love him with your heart. Who were you without him? What did you like? What made you happy outside from your duty at the league?

A man knocking into you brought you out of your thoughts, which had been happening all night. Except this man stopped in front of you and gave you a smile that turned your stomach upside down.

"Sorry about that pretty lady, let me buy you a drink to make up for it." He spoke with a voice that was trying to be smooth but instead sounded like metal scraping over each other.

"No, thank you." You said sharply, not yet done with your Manhattan anyway. You were barely enjoying your time here as it was and you were sure another drink wouldn't change your mind.

"Not a fan?"

You shook your head at him, choosing to humour the man.

"Then let me buy you another one, if you don't like it then you have nothing to lose."

You pretended to giggle at him and he swelled with pride. Did he think he was winning?

"One Boulevardier." He told the bartender who nodded and began preparing the drink. Until it was ready, you indulged the man in front of you who reeked of cigarettes and alcohol.

He placed the drink in front of you and if you hadn't known that it would burn going down and turn you into a shell of yourself, you might have been curious to what it tasted like.

"You see that dude over there?" He nodded to a man standing in the other corner of the bar and you turned to look at him. Another man, covered in tattoos who didn't look any different than the one standing behind you.

"He's my pal, owns the bar. Ask him and he'll hook you up with free drinks tonight. For a price, of course."

You turned back around to face the man and out of the corner of your eye saw something dissolve into your drink. It was only for a second but you saw the last remaining grains turn invisible and you definitely noticed the way the once steady drink was now swirling into a vortex in the middle.

"Drink up, princess."

You smirked. Tonight, might be fun after all.

***

This was boring.

You had been pretending to be unconscious for about 40 minutes while these men drove you to some undisclosed location. Their conversations were unbelievably dry and it's not like you had anyone else to talk to. Everyone else who might have been even mildly interesting were knocked unconscious.

Eventually they pulled up to some sort of holding facility and if your assumptions were correct then this would be a midpoint before they sold all the girls here to some sort of pimp.

Once they lugged you off the truck and threw you into a room with so many other people, you could hear their breathing did you open your eyes. It seemed like this was some sort of abandoned butcher or meat factory, judging by the ominous hooks hanging above your head and the metal walls. The door had been bolted shut, the only way to look through it was a small glass window.

Only after you finished taking in your surroundings did you even look at the other women who had been trapped in the room along with you. Your stomach turned.

There were so many unsuspecting faces who looked like they didn't sign up for this. Half of them looked under the influence of something, sweating profusely even in their sleep, faces scrunched up in pain. The other looked like they were forcibly taken, bruises covering their skin, hair and clothes in disarray and more than half of them had either a black eye or a swollen lip.

Maybe it was their fault for not being trained, that's what someone at the league would've said. But isn't it their captors’ fault for misusing their training, their strength, for something as vile as this?

You decided to wait, you couldn't assume that this small group of girls was the only one in the confines of the building. How many more were here?

You weren't feeling overwhelmed, not at all, not with the weapons that were littering you. A kunai hidden is either of your boots, throwing stars in your pockets hidden underneath your vest and a war fan in your pocket. You could handle these clowns without even looking up.

But it wasn't your life you were concerned about. It was the lives of these underaged, vulnerable girls who had fallen prey to these monsters.

While you were waiting a couple of the girls started to wake up. Some were still heavily drugged, still groggy when their eyes fluttered open and unable to focus onto anything. Others shot up straight as an arrow and began crying, screaming, begging for them to let them out.

They were ignored, by both their captors and you. Why try and reassure then when you weren't sure what was going to happen. More importantly, why throw off the monsters lurking outside the door that there was one woman who hadn't been phased.

Instead, you just stared blankly, trying to get comfortable and hear anything through the walls. Eventually, you heard the sound of footsteps coming towards the room. You covered the lower half of your face with a scarf, making sure that anyone who left here alive today, wouldn't be able to remember your face. Whether it be as a saviour or their punisher.

The girls whimpered and curled into one another, crying quietly and you felt sympathy. There was no way they'd be able to move forward from this without having fear stab at their heart with every step they took. You could only hope they had something in their life that would make them feel safe.

For tonight, you'd be that for them.

A few men opened the door with a cruel smile, stepping inside for a second before bolting it shut. They flaunted guns and other weapons to the girls, finding pleasure where there should be compassion and worry. You were disgusted watching their smirks twist maniacally when the girls cried harder seeing them brandish their weapons.

One of the men stepped forward and grabbed the girl closest to him who begged and cried to spare her. His disgusting hand might as well be made of acid because you almost felt the sick burn when it snaked between her legs and copped a feel while she sobbed and screamed, trying to fight him off.

You grabbed one of your weapons and returned their sick grins with one of your own.

It was going to be hard to cop a feel when he can't feel anything.

You were going to break each and every bone in his hand to ensure that.

***

"Can I borrow your phone please?" You asked the bloody and broken man by your feet. He glared at you and spat blood on your boots, unable to do anything else. You sighed and faked a pout.

"Is it here?" You wondered, holding the dirtied boot over his ribs and his eyes widened, catching drift of what you were about to do. You rammed your foot into his broken ribs, courtesy of yourself, and he screamed bloody murder. Music to your ears.

"Apparently not. Want me to check your pants?" You asked, raising a brow and he frantically shook his head, using whatever strength left to pull out his phone from his pocket and you smiled, thanking him quietly.

"Now, let's hope that one blow is enough to put you out of my misery." You sang, punching him right in the face and he passed out. Lightweight.

You took a look around the place, seeing bodies littered over the place like confetti. Blood was scattered on the ground and you're sure if people looked hard enough, they'd find someone's teeth. You on the other hand looked fine.

You sat on the floor, crossing your legs comfortably, tired after the fight and dialled a number onto the phone.

"Hello, police?"

"Yes, how can we help you?"

"Well, there's a sex trafficking scam going on at my location. Quite shoddy but they have a number of women trapped here and it would be nice if you could send backup to have them escorted home safely."

"A sex trafficking scam?"

"Well, it could be just a regular trafficking scam but I'm not too sure."

"All right, I'll have someone check it out."

"Good, and I realize you might get a lot of calls like this but please don't talk to me like I'm an idiot. Tell your people to send a couple of ambulances as well, you'll need them."

"Of course."

You could only hope the person on the other end of the line would eat their words when it was on the front of the newspaper. For now, your work was done.

In the meantime, how were you going to get anywhere from here? Where even were you? Was there anyone even conscious here who could give you directions? Or would you have to call the police again to find out where to go?

Not that you'd wait long enough for them actually arrive here. You'd return to the bar way before that for another drink. Maybe now you'd actually be able to enjoy one.

Just as you were about to leave, you heard a creak coming from the other end of the warehouse. It echoed through the halls and you leapt to your feet, soundless moving to hide in the shadows and pulling out a kunai.

The footsteps that followed it were light and airy, barely even touching the ground. They were trained, whoever they were. You kept your ears open in order to hear something.

"Whoever was here was trained." You heard someone comment.

"Are you really that stupid, Nightwing? It's obvious that my sister was the one who took out this ring and reported it." Came the snappy reply back and your breath caught in your chest. Make no mistake, that was your brother's voice.

"We must find her."

He was actually looking for you? He knows you're here? You're not entirely surprised, you haven't exactly been careful or stealthy when it came to concealing your face around Gotham. A mistake on your part but you couldn't have been more relieved.

You still remained quiet, not wanting to disturb the flow, not wanting to interrupt. You had the mind of a soldier but when there was no one to follow you seemed more like a sheep. It made you feel slight shame, that you were unable to stick up for yourself despite being so many things.

Maybe, the league wasn't the best thing for you.

Immediately you scraped the thought from your mind, berating yourself for even thinking that. The league had given you everything, everything you were today was because of them. You were strong and calculating, the leagues proud soldier.

You were proud of your roots, thankful that you grew up to be the person you were. They had given you everything, and your brother was just one of the gifts that you had been blessed with in your life.

"Damian." You spoke softly, stepping out of the shadows. His head snapped towards you, eyes widening when he took in your form. It really was you. His sister.

Damian wasted no time in bounding towards you and you knelt down to meet his eye level, catching him with open arms. A part of your heart sang when you realized he was still small enough to fit in your arms. He still held you close. He still loved you.

"I've missed you, Ya Amar." You spoke softly, cradling his head that was buried in the junction of your neck.

"I as well, Okhti."

***

Damian was ecstatic that you were in Gotham. Of course, it didn't look like it to anyone but everyone who knew him well could tell that he was happy that his sister was home with him. He didn't wait for even two seconds when you got to the Batcave (much to Bruce's surprise) to show you all his pets.

The next few days would be considered the best of his life.

Damian wanted to be as close to you as possible, sitting near you during meals, training with you, talking with you, even going as far to sneak into your temporary bedroom at night for cuddles. He certainly got more comfortable showing affection since the last time you were around.

He showed you his hobbies like painting and sketching and you were impressed. He had the skills to be doing something like this? Damian had picked up many new talents and many new stories since you last saw him and he was eager to share them all with you.

The next few days would be considered the worst of your life.

You had found Damian now, so why didn't you still feel fulfilled? Why did you feel like something was missing? Like this wasn't meant for you? Why weren't you satisfied?

Why did you feel envious that Damian got to experience so many things? Why did you feel resentment against him when you realized you never got the same things he has?

Your life felt like it amounted to nothing.

You loved your brother but so far you had just been living for him. And now that you realized there were parts of the world that you wanted to see. There were thoughts in your mind that were of your own and desires that you didn't have to explain to anyone. As long as it made sense to yourself.

And you realize one thing with an aching heart.

You couldn't stay here in Gotham.

"Does Damian know?" Bruce asked you one day when you had asked him a favour. Bruce so far had been a little cold and unfeeling ever since you had met him in the Batcave uninvited. His feelings towards you got more negative when you gave an offhanded comment about how you thought he was taller. But he was the only one you could ask for a favour. He was the father to your beloved brother and you could only hope he would offer you the same consideration.

You had asked him for a flight to Washington, to see if Diana really meant what she said. To take a leap of faith for the first time in your life.

You shook your head no, "Not yet. I'm hoping he will take the news well. It's not like I'm leaving forever. I just—I need to—" You trailed off, unable to find the right words.

Bruce nodded, "I understand. Just tell him before you go. I don't think I've ever seen him this happy before."

"It makes me feel worse." You admitted, feeling a little guilty. How could you not feel happy at your brother’s happiness?

"You need some time to figure out that your world is yours. No one else should determine how you feel about yourself."

"You are very wise," You said softly, "Thank you."

***

"I love you dearly, Damian." You tried to coerce him from his room where he had locked himself in only 5 minutes ago. No doubt he was sulking since he found out that you would be leaving for DC in two days’ time.

"If you did, you wouldn't be leaving!" His voice was muffled, as if his face was buried in his pillow or even Titus. You had been trying to coax him into open the door for 20 minutes now and had multiple offers from Grayson, which you turned down.

"Oh, for the love of—Damian Wayne, you open this door right now!" It was silent for a moment before you heard the lock click open and took that as the indication from him to step into his room.

It was large and from the moment you stepped in, it was easy to tell the space was his. There were swords mounted on the wall, paintings on the wall adjacent to it. His desk was tidy and in the corner of his room, there were multiple easels and sketch pads.

Damian was sulking on his bed and you sighed, feeling guilty. You sat beside him and ran your fingers through his hair. Even though he was upset with you, he still sank into your touch, feeling comforted by mere contact.

"It's not forever, Damian. Wherever I'm going, I'm going to come back. I just need some time to myself." You tried to explain.

"But why!"

"The league taught me well, Damian. But it taught me to live like a soldier, but not as a person. There are so many things that I don't know about myself. What do I like? What do I want to do with my life? And I need to figure it out for myself."

"Why can't you do that here?"

You gave him a pained look and realization dawned on him, "Because of me."

"Damian, in the time we spent apart you learnt so many things about yourself. That you like animals, that you like art. There are so many blanks in my life and I need the distance to figure it out. I need to understand myself." You explained wistfully.

It was true, there were so many blanks in your life. You didn't even know what food you liked better, what hobbies you enjoyed. You wanted to experience new things, without the influence of Damian, without relying on him. And more importantly, you were scared you would put Damian above yourself time and time again.

It was all you knew. Damian was worth more than your life, worth more than your heart. But if that was true, you wanted to know at least what your heart was worth to you. If you didn't hold any value to yourself, it would be foolish to think you would to anyone else.

You needed the distance. You needed something new. You wanted to dive into uncharted waters and figure out the magic for yourself, without anyone to help you.

"It's not forever," You reminded gently, "I'm going to come back, I can promise you that."

Damian began leaning until his head was settled in your lap and you chuckled, gently scratching his scalp and he nestled into your belly. Hard to believe this was the same boy who left only a year ago. You wondered if you would change as much as he did or if you were stuck in your ways now.

"Okay," He said, voice muffled and you smiled, "I hope you find what you're looking for."

"Thank you for your blessing, Ya Amar. It means the world to me. I love you; you know that."

"I do." He said, now wrapping his arms around your waist, "I love you too."

Forever Taglist:

@simonsbluee

DC Taglist:

@emmacata

@p--e--a--c--h--e--s

@sometimeseverythingsucks

@sokkas-honour

@unstable1902

@lostgirlheart

@missdisapear

@tadpole-san

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utakoi · 4 years

Text

Office Yandere HCs

Pairings: Assistant!Izuku Midoriya, Investor!Shoto Todoroki, Chauffeur!Hitoshi Shinso x Boss!Fem!reader

Summary: Ever wonder what it would be like to be the boss of some office yanderes and basically have a harem? Well, look no further, cause here it is!

Warnings: smut !!18+ ONLY!! (spunking in food + masturbation + dirty thoughts + oral), yandere themes (noncon)

A/N: Bc my brain kept me up at night with this concept and has made it’s final decision on turning a one shot I was in the middle of writing into a series, I decided to write some messy hcs to take a lil breather from long works (evn tho this is kinda long already). Also, if you think this is the last you’ll hear about office yanderes, no no no, I have some other thoughts for other characters

Assistant!Midoriya Izuku

He is over the moon to hold a position that’s the closest to you

Out of your entire yandere office harem, he gets to spend the most time with you

He also definitely has an advantage since he practically schedules your entire day

For example, Shoto constantly tries to schedule one-on-one meetings with you in the guise of it being a matter of business, but Izuku cock blocks him by filling your day with a bunch of other events in order to make the meetings as short as possible, and sometimes, even cuts them out completely

He doesn’t like doing it often tho since he knows you can get too stressed with too much going on so he reluctantly has to give away some time for you to meet with the other yanderes (he’s still kind of a sweet and considerate bby as a yandere)

Will not give you personal space

Stands close to you during meetings, constantly visits your office to work (even tho his personal office is right next to yours), etc etc

Even if you don’t ask him to, he will fetch your meals and give you snacks throughout the day because he wants to take care of you and show how sweet he is (also because he wants you to imagine how good of a boyfriend he’d be if you just gave him a chance)

Now let’s get to the part that just popped up into my mind and inspired this entire post: if he can hide his cum somewhere in your food, he will do it

That coffee he gave you that tasted a little salty? Izuku spunked inside it.

The sandwich he bought that seemed to have more mayo than usual? He spunked in that, too

Whatever you think doesn’t taste right, it’s definitely because of Izuku

// // // // //

Izuku is thankful for his job because of two specific things: he gets to interact with you for most of the day and his office has a built in personal bathroom.

If he were to be forced to use the regular employee restroom, his lewd acts would have been exposed immediately by anyone who happened to walk in; he was never the best at holding his moans and grunts while jacking himself off after all.

In the privacy of his own bathroom, he could be as loud as he wants with both his breathy, pleasure-ridden voice and the slick sounds of him stroking his lube-covered cock. In fact, he’s even trying to be as loud as possible.

Since your office is right next to his, there’s a small chance that you may be able to hear him through the walls. He can visualize you entering his office, concern decorating your features, wondering what he could possibly be doing to make such noises. If you were to open his bathroom door, you’d be met by the sight of Izuku sitting on the lid of the toilet, his hand vigorously pumping up and down his shaft.

And he wouldn’t stop.

He’d just keep going, all the while staring at you right in the eye. He wonders what you’d do then. Would you just stay frozen at your spot, being unable to take your eyes off of him? Or maybe you’d get on your knees, completely turned on and ready to have a taste of his cum? What if you were actually more dominant than he thought and you’d just dig your heels into his dick, punishing him for slacking off his job by not letting him find release?

Fuck, any of those scenarios would be fine by him.

Unfortunately, as he gets close to reaching his peak, you don’t come into his office at all. That’s alright, though.

He’ll just settle with spunking into your coffee, for now.

Investor!Shoto Todoroki

Needs your attention

Like I said earlier, Shoto will keep trying to schedule meetings with you in the guise of it being a matter of business

really, he just wants to spend time with you

During the meetings, he will also try to convince you to fire Izuku so that he can get rid of who he deems as someone deliberately keeping the two of you apart (which, for once, is a pretty spot on theory from Shoto)

Will try to spoil you with gifts and make excuses or pass it off as a casual thing so you don’t reject it or deem it as inappropriate for a workplace relationship

The beautiful bouquet of flowers? He was buying flowers for his mother on the way over and the flower shop had a 2 for 1 deal so why not?

These gourmet chocolates? A fellow business partner of his gave him a box as thanks for his investment. Unfortunately, he’s allergic to one of the ingredients, but it would just be a waste to throw them out, no?

This exquisite diamond necklace? weLL-

You get the point (also, these gifts are definitely inspired by romance movies he saw his sister watching while growing up cuz oof he did not know any means of romance until he met you)

He aims to schedule his meetings with you around lunch time so that he has an excuse to treat you for lunch

He loves providing for you AKA he loves providing for you and showing off how he has the means to take care of you (much like Izuku)

If you were to become his wife, you wouldn’t have to work another day in your life

You can just stay at home and relax

Maybe you can even cook him breakfast and pack lunch for him before he works

That’s basically his dream

He wants you to stay home, waiting for your sweet husband to come back from work

Basically, he’ll take care of your every need, and he means EVERY need

// // // // //

It’s one of those nights again.

Shoto can’t sleep because he’s plagued by thoughts of you. Today, you weren’t able to meet him for lunch because you already had a flood of other appointments to attend (he was willing to bet his entire fortune that it’s because of your stupid assistant’s scheduling that you weren’t able to make it).

So, needless to say, he was pent up. He can only hop that you fall in love with him sooner. Did his charms just not work on you? Do you not like the cool stoic type? Maybe he just wasn’t giving you the right gifts. Were they not expensive enough to impress you? Not expensive enough to show he could provide for you?

He knows he can take care of you so well. You would never have to work another day in your life. You can just stay home, surrounded by luxurious gifts and servants who’ll be at your beck and call while you wait for his return.

And once he actually did come home after a long day of work? You’d be bathed in affection. Kisses, hugs, cuddles... and more.

You’d want him just as much as he wants you, right?

His poor wife, lonely and deprived of the one person she loves for such long hours. He’s got to show that he’s sorry for neglecting you.

Pushing you down onto the bed, he’d run his hands all over your body, massaging your shoulders, pinching your hardening nipples, brushing over your sensitive thighs... And since he’s also quite needy, he’d be grinding down his still-clothed cock on your pussy, showing off that he’s missed you, too.

Shoto doesn’t even think he’d have the patience to take off your clothes. He’d just keep dry humping you, desperate for his own release. The thin cloth preventing the both of you from making actual skin-on-skin contact would make such great friction. He can practically feel it now.

... And yup, the feeling was definitely not just from his imagination. Without even needing to glance down, Shoto already knows that his thoughts of you has caused him to pop a boner.

Hopefully, a quick jerk off session can tire him out enough to fall asleep, but with how much his hard cock throbbed, he doubted it.

Chauffeur!Hitoshi Shinso

2nd most envied out of your office harem for his job (he’s right next to Izuku)

Why? Well 1 - he gets one on one time with you daily and 2 - that one on one time is him and you in an enclosed space

Sure, he may not get as much time with you as the others, but he sure makes the best use of it

He’ll be chatting you up, getting to know you personally in order to make the atmosphere less awkward between the two of you (tbh, because he gives off standoffish and cold vibes, y’all are gonna be kinda tense when he’s just gotten his job as a chauffeur)

and he does it so discreetly

He’ll start the conversation of lightly, talking about the weather, how busy you’re going to be that day...

and then somehow it just transitions onto friendlier and more personal topics such as your favorite places to eat, what hobbies you’ve been trying out lately, etc

And he uses that info to his advantage

If he senses that you’re feeling stressed or down, he will drive you over to your favorite places and remind you that you should relax

But not only does he get brownie points for that, but would you really be so mean as to make him wait for you while you eat a meal or walk around the mall when he’s the one who’s trying so hard to cheer you up?

Of course not, you’re going to invite him and thank him for considering how you’re feeling

And if not, well, that’s okay, too, he understands (so long as he gets his brownie points)

As the boss of your own company, you’d often be asked out to meetings or social gatherings that involve drinking

Shinso’s always there whenever you get shit faced, and happily so

You’re drunk and you’re not gonna remember it the next morning, anyway... so why would he waste such a golden opportunity?

// // // // //

Shit, you feel great on his body.

Currently, Shinso is living out one of the best moments of his life. He’d come to pick you up from a drinking session with some investors and was ecstatic to find you drunk out of your mind. Hell, you could barely even slur out your orders for him to drive you home. Now, you’re pressed up against him as he holds you up and guides you to the car.

Testing out the waters, he cheekily squeezes the flesh of your ass. If you were conscious enough to reprimand him for it, then he could easily just apologize and pass it off as an accident since you were stumbling around so much.

And if you didn’t mention anything... well then, that was the single indicator he needed to know that you wouldn’t remember anything once you woke up in the morning.

To his delight, you barely reacted to his touch and even let out a high-pitched giggle at his actions. As quickly as he possibly could, he opens up the back of the limousine and pushes you inside. You plop down onto the seat with a huff, completely inebriated.

You don’t even register when Shinso crawls in and nudges himself in between your legs.

When the door slams shut, you flinch a little, prompting Shinso to massage your thighs in an attempt to soothe you. He gazes at you lovingly as you look down at him with your dilated pupils. Fuck, you look way too innocent and adorable for what he’s about to do.

Quick with his hands, he pulls down your waistband and completely exposes your sex. Before diving into his meal, he places light kisses that trail from your calf all the way up to your thighs. He wishes he could leave marks on your skin, but he wouldn’t want you to panic the next morning when you see clusters of purple and blue spread out all over your legs.

He eats you out like a man starved, slobbering all over your pussy. All the while, you’re making such cute noises for him. When you gush all over his face, he’s happily lapping it all up, trying not to waste a single drop.

Once you’ve come down, he dresses you back up as if nothing happened, which, in your mind tomorrow, nothing did.

Shinso hesitates when he’s about to slide the panties back onto you. Maybe he could get away with just a little souvenir?

#yandere bnha #yandere mha #bnha smut #mha smut #bnha imagines #headcanons #izuku midoriya x reader #midoriya izuku x reader #shoto todoroki x reader #todoroki shoto x reader #hitoshi shinso x reader #shinso hitoshi x reader #i swear if tags don't work again #tw noncon

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kallulovesu · 3 years

Note

Heyooo :) can you do headcannons for a platonic yandere allies ?? Am aroace so that's the kind that floats my boat, also do you ever feel tired of writing ?? Like .. ur so productive, it's awsome but like .. I hope ur doing it cuz u have energy not cuz you have followers waiting 😬 take care Plz ❤❤🥺

For the anon that asked that yandere reader ask, thx u inspired this ask ur idea is rad :3

(A/N:) ahh thank you for the worry anon, but it’s no problem really!💞 I wouldn’t be making as much content if I wasn’t having any fun, since it’ll probably end up feeling more like chore...and I hate doing chores 😭

That one protective friend that makes sure to check up on you every second (but it’s turned up to the extreme and downright becomes unhealthy in some cases)™

It was ironic to him. Out everyone that he had gotten to know over all these years— hell, perhaps even Arthur; you were the only one he felt like understood him the most. Not many seemed to notice what was going on beneath the surface of his facade, which was why he appreciated you being there. You still liked him despite the many flaws that he had, and tried your best being with him even if it became downright tiring. Alfred would be heavily dependent on you because of this, often going to you to cheer him up— or before he was going to make a rash choice.

So it was only natural that he couldn’t see himself being without you.

You were like a best friend to him; Alfred would even go as far as to say that he felt a familial connection between the two of you. So the deep desire to protect you was normal, wasn’t it? Even when he felt himself worrying for your well-being at even the slightest approach of a stranger, it was just his instinct telling him that there was something wrong. It wasn’t anything unhealthy. Thus, would usually drag you away from anyone that he found to be suspicious; even those he was already familiar with. This would probably result in a lot of arguments, with him trying to say what was ‘best for you’ and with you denying that you needed this much...protection. You swore that it almost felt like he was just isolating you from the others, to have you purely depend on him for whatever reason you couldn’t make up.

Alfred can’t handle being apart from you— nonetheless the idea of you being angry with him, or even hating him . It truly didn’t matter if the reason was rather ridiculous or not, the idea of you hating him just...made his stomach churn uncomfortably. You were his best buddy, and basically one of the only ones he could trust with his inner worries; and the risk of it all being taken away from him because of a silly, childish mistake was all it took to send the poor boy into a state of panic. Please don’t leave him, he’d do anything to keep you there with him. Begging, gifting— you name it.

Arthur didn’t completely seem to realize his feelings at first, confusing it with romantic attraction for a little while— before quickly seeming to realize that it was all purely platonic. He did feel a bit protective of you, maybe even possessive...but it had nothing to do with romance, nor lust. It was just him wanting to have someone beside him, someone that he could call a friend. And someone that would never leave his side.

It won’t be hard to notice how...bad his communication skills were; with him often saying things that he didn’t really mean and slightly setting you off. Arthur is stubborn, so it may take some time (and slight teasing at how much he hesitated) for him to actually apologize. You’ll probably get used to it after a while, since he’s one big tsundere.

Saying this out loud was an absolute no-no for this man— but you being around Arthur was often enough to make him the slightest bit happier. It felt a bit lonely at times, especially with less and less people being around him these past few years. So having you as a friend almost felt like a breath of fresh air.

He’s very critical of those you choose to be around with, often analyzing even the smallest of things so he can determine if they’re actually worth being around you. Which more often than not ends up... not being the case. Arthur will tell you to stay away from them; saying that they were suspicious, and probably had something bad in mind. He’ll resort to isolating you if you were to disobey him, trying to take as much of your attention— and perhaps even kidnapping you if the extreme were to happen. You were his one and only best friend, and he had to make sure you were safe. Always.

Totally the big brother type...well, he usually proclaims himself as being one, so it isn’t that much of a surprise.

Francis will make sure to absolutely pamper you with his attention; hanging out with you, sending letters whenever he was too busy...and simply sending gifts from France. He simply couldn’t let you go off feeling unloved!

He adores talking about you; usually going off on a mindless ramble whenever someone even mentions your name, like a proud father showing off his child. Others will usually compare him to one due to how much he adores talking about you— or simply the way that he treats you. Which would quickly be disregarded with a: “oh, I’m no father! They’re just such a nice little friend to have around, who wouldn’t want to praise such a delicate person?”

On a second note....he actually did feel like a father figure to you. Huh.

Francis will often suggest helping you out with your love life, perhaps even gushing over cute guys together that you found on a random dating app— before quickly realizing that he didn’t really want this. Those silly moments were fun and all, but having you talk with someone that could just be out to use you made him a bit angry...and paranoid, mainly the latter. He will make sure that anyone that even so much dares to get close you first gets his approval first. The feeling of a broken heart was all too familiar to him, and he didn’t want you to experience such a thing.

This may result in him checking up on you...an awful lot, making sure that those around you were only the best of the best and wouldn’t end up being bad influence to you. Yes, he truly was like a father.

A sibling-like person in his life that he didn’t feel insecure against and acknowledged him as his own person? Fuck yes!!

Jokes aside— Matthew really does care deeply for you. Perhaps it was due to the Canadian barely having those that he could...truly call close friends, so having you around almost felt like a blessing. Unlike Francis, he won’t really show you off or talk about you much, especially around his brother. The American had already stolen enough from him, so why would he let something like that happen again?

He’s extremely wary of anyone that even so much tries to make a move on you. It’s just...you were someone that he held extremely dear; and having you potentially getting hurt due to some lowlife that managed to slip into your life would absolutely break his heart. Matthew didn’t want to fail in protecting you, he would never forgive himself if something like that were to happen.

Losing you is something that he wishes to avoid completely. He’ll even go as far as kidnapping you if it came down to it, Matthew just couldn’t see himself living happily without you by his side.

Yao likes cute things...and you’re a cute friend, so it’s a perfect match!

But seriously, he thinks that you’re absolutely adorable. Whether it be because of your personality— or your appearance, it really doesn’t end up mattering in the end. You’re his cute little friend, and that’s all that matters!

He’ll often treat you with more, yet gentler care than most of the others around him. He knew that you were well capable of taking care of yourself; but he just couldn’t help but see you as something fragile, something that he had to protect. So you can already imagine how frustrated he gets when someone treats you with even the slightest bit of disrespect— Yao will often confront them immediately, while you awkwardly have to sit back and watch it all. Almost feeling pity for the person that had to endure your friend’s seemingly never-ending complaints.

Oh, he probably doesn’t quite realize how he comes off as a father at times; seeing how much he’ll scold you for the smallest mistakes (while making sure to correct you of course!) and how he usually made decisions for you, making it hard to refuse his gestures due to his pushy nature. But it’ll probably become a normal thing for the two of you as time progresses, since it’s just...how Yao was, you assumed.

His controlling behavior will also reflect on how he treats your personal life. Yao is very selective of who he lets you be around with, so he’ll often look at your acquaintances and friends with a very critical eye, immediately expressing his distaste in them if they were even to do the smallest thing wrong. “Such a brute isn’t worth being around, (y/n).” Yao will warn you to stay away from them, but won’t bring it up any further if you decide to do what he says. If you don’t then...well, he had special friends to help him out with his dirtier work.

Yao might consider kidnapping you if this behavior keeps on repeating, but won’t feel compelled to actually do it unless something bad were to happen.

Ivan will always try his best to be there for you! While it most likely won’t quite work with him being a rather busy person; a country, nonetheless, but he’ll do his upmost best. It was extremely hard for Ivan to make friends that...weren’t scared of him or secretly disliked him, so having you was such a relief!

Being his only friend, he’ll make sure to be absolutely devoted to you— perhaps in a way that wasn’t too healthy in a friendship, and would often be looked down upon by those looking at your relationship from an outsider’s perspective. But could one truly blame him? Ever since he was born it felt like everyone around him were either toying with him, or were utterly terrified of the boy expect for his two sisters. It was lonely...so it isn’t hard to imagine how overjoyed he was once having you in his life; someone that didn’t display the usual fright whenever he approached them, nor did you look like you were out to hurt him.

Ivan appreciated you a lot.

It wasn’t hard to imagine that you’d most likely become the target of a few other countries, your connection with Ivan wasn’t extremely hidden from the outside world... (from how much he’d senselessly mutter things about you when daydreaming, and the many times he stuck by your side) and so, others would take it to their advantage. Those like Alfred will probably try convince you to leave Ivan’s side, spewing terrifying stories of the man to try and stir up something inside of you so you could leave him. It was mainly for your own safety, yes. But it was also to make the Russian weaker. It was obvious that he was depending on you heavily, and losing you would...god forbid if that would ever happen. Ivan would completely lose himself, perhaps even snapping completely.

So don’t hesitate to tell Ivan if someone was bothering you! Ivan will make sure to get rid of the little parasite from your life in an instant, giving them a short warning whenever the two come across each other...and making sure that he got his point across! It’s better to ignore their sudden disappearance after that day, since someone like them wasn’t worth lingering in your mind.

#help me why do I always write america this dramatically #dilf France? 😲#CANADAS PART IS SO SHORT IM SORRYYYY #yandere #Yandere hetalia #hetalia x reader #Yandere allies #Yandere aph america #Yandere aph france #Yandere aph england #Yandere aph canada #Yandere aph China #yandere aph Russia #platonic yandere #platonic Yandere hetalia

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watchmegetobsessed · 4 years

Text

Update - Harry Styles

i’ve been deep inmy harry feels and this thought just wouldn’t leave me alone so i had to write it. im thinking about starting a taglist for harry, i think i’ll write more about him in the future. let me know if you’d be interested in the taglist!

word count: ~5.9k

masterlist

Sequel: The best present

Harry is not that into YouTube videos, has never really been, which is kind of ironic seeing the number of videos on the internet that is about him. The man himself who makes everyone talk online feels weird seeing someone talking on his screen, looking into his soul as if they were right there with him. But today he felt the sudden urge to be like his peers and get lost in random rambling videos from strangers, who felt the need to put themselves out there.

He has made a mean cup of tea for himself, made himself comfortable on his couch with his laptop balancing on his thighs and now is opening up his browser to unwind in an unusual way. As YouTube opens in front of his tired eyes, he stops when he tries to type in the keywords he is searching for. What is he looking for really? He thinks to himself trying to remember what he heard from his friends when they talked about funny or interesting videos. One thing is for sure, he is trying to avoid watching videos of himself in any content. He has had enough of him for the day, it’s time to focus on someone else, even if he doesn’t know the person.

He scrolls through several pages of many different keywords until he settles for a video where a girl talks about how her latest moving day went. Starting off Harry feels weird listening to her talk about such personal things as where her bed went in her room, how she packed all her stuff to fit them in the boxes, but soon enough this feeling settles and he starts to realize it’s kind of relaxing.

It doesn’t take too long for him to fall down a rabbit hole and by the time his tea empties out from his cup he is intensely watching a guy rant about his boss at Subway while doing a mukbang. The latter is a new discovery for Harry, he has never heard of it before, but he can see why some people find it satisfying.

The video ends, Harry checks the time and sees that it’s already after midnight and he hasn’t even realized how fast time flew by.

“Alright, just one more,” he mumbles to himself scrolling down the column of the recommended videos until his eyes stop at one particular upload at the very bottom.

July update for my Sammy, ready the title and an eye-catchingly beautiful girl is smiling from the thumbnail. He finds her breathtaking, the lack of makeup, the worn out hoodie she is wearing and the many various plants in the background makes it appear she is sitting in the middle of the forest.

Harry finds himself clicking on the video before he could even decide consciously to watch it. The screen loads and the girl appears in front of him, this time in a much larger size.

“Hi Sammy, welcome back to our channel,” she starts with an angelic little laugh as she pulls her shoulders up to her ears as if the camera is making her shy. She has no reason to be shy, Harry thinks to himself. His second thought is about Sammy, he is one lucky guy to know this angel and have her think about him. “It’s Y/N here, your one and only sister,” she adds.

Sister. The word brings Harry relief and he is surprised to feel this way, but he has no time to think anything of it because she starts talking again.

“Here is my July update, I’m sorry I’m a little late, but we got back from Oregon yesterday. Aunt Ella is sending you kisses and hugs, she missed you at the barbeque, or maybe it was just your helping hand at the grill,” she chuckles to herself, probably recalling the memory.

Harry has no idea who Aunt Ella is or where she lives in Oregon, but the way she talks about it makes him feel like he is part of the family a little.

Y/N carries on and starts talking about everything that has happened in July. Painting the shed at her parents’ home, buying a new armchair, one her cat absolutely adores and refuses to sleep anywhere else now, she went to the hairdresser to get a trim, but not too much. She tells about her plans for August, how she is thinking about going to the farmers’ market more often, and she has been playing with the idea of adopting another cat.

“I think Henry has been feeling a little lonely lately. He could use a buddy,” she tells the camera, her eyes moving to the side from where a weak but moody meow can be heard as an answer. “Yeah, I think he agrees,” she chuckles and Harry finds himself smiling at the screen.

At the end of the video she asks a few questions from Sammy, how he has been doing, if his wrist feels any better, even asks about a friend called Matthew. Harry wonders if she has ever gotten the answers to her questions and where Sammy saw this video. What is he doing that made her want to do an update on YouTube?

When the video ends Harry clicks on her profile faster than he would willingly admit to anyone and it’s like he opened the gate to paradise. Tens and maybe hundreds of videos are queuing on her page, monthly updates, birthday wishes, short story times about family gatherings, news and happenings in her life.

Harry gets lost in her tales. He watches video after video, noticing the smallest details about her, almost mentally taking notes about her updates, finding anything and everything she talks about so interesting as if he knew those people and places she mentions. He comes to realization that Sammy is her older brother who is serving somewhere in the military. Y/N is making the videos to update him about her life even if she knows most of them doesn’t get to him until weeks later, but it doesn’t seem to bother her. He also learns that Sammy sends them back lengthy emails once a month and always ends them with a joke they made up with his mates at the army. Y/N loves them even when they're not even funny, she never fails to mention that she smiled reading them.

Hours pass by and the rising Sun peeks inside the window pulling Harry back to his own reality, shocked that he just spent the whole night watching her videos and didn’t even realize how deep he has gotten in her life. Lucky for him he has nothing planned until the afternoon, so shutting his laptop he sets it aside and heads straight to bed, but lying between his silky sheets he catches himself staring out the window, wondering what Y/N might be doing right now. From what he collected she lives somewhere in Spokane and has family in Seattle and Portland, which puts her quite a few time zones behind him. He finds the thought of them going to bed at the same time despite the distance a little funny. He lies in bed for quite some time before he finally drifts off to sleep with a particular girl on his mind, who doesn’t even know he is thinking about her.

“Do you think you can fall for someone you have never met?”

Harry’s question catches Mitch a little off-guard, but he is kind of used to his random bits of thoughts. Pouring some sugar into his coffee he follows the wondering singer to a free table in the corner.

“Isn’t it what all your fans feel?” he answers with a question, earning a surprised look from Harry. He hasn’t thought about this side, now the situation is kind of ironic, he supposes.

“Y’re right,” he nods stirring his coffee around in the small cup.

“Want to let me in on your thoughts?”

Harry feels a little shy to admit how he has watched all of her videos in the past few days, 207 to be exact and now he feels an oddly deep connection to this girl he has never even seen outside of a screen. Last night he dug up her Instagam profile, and even though she is not posting as frequently as she does on her channel, it was a refreshing change to see her in different settings. Chilling at a lake, having drinks with her friends, playing with her parents’ puppy, it amazed him that she has a whole life outside that small portion she lets him see in her videos.

Hesitantly, but he tells his friend about his latest hobby, if it’s not too weird to call it that, while his friend patiently listens and nods along his words while sipping on his morning coffee.

“D’you think I’m crazy?” Harry sighs leaning back in his seat, looking at his friend and colleague for validation that he hasn’t lost his mind entirely.

“Definitely not,” he chuckles shaking his head. “It’s like falling for that girl in school you know so much about but never really met.”

“Only that I’m stalkin’ this poor girl.”

“This is not stalking. We both know it’s far from that.” Harry nods with slight relief that his situation doesn’t seem as bad as he has been feeling lately. “Have you gotten in touch with her?”

“And what am I supposed to do? Comment on her video that I think her cat’s a cutie and I watched all her videos in three days ‘cuz I think she’s beautiful and I find her voice soothing?”

Mitch lets out a soft chuckle at the oddly specific answer he just gave and finds it amusing how interested his friend has grown about someone in such a short time.

“Maybe phrase it a little different.”

“So you do think I should reach out?”

“I don’t see why you shouldn’t. Use your personal YouTube, leave her a nice comment. Maybe she’ll reply.”

“And then what?”

“I don’t know, Harry,” he chuckles. “Just go with it and you’ll see. You are obviously interested in her, it’s better than just sit and watch her videos.”

Harry agrees. It wouldn’t hurt to try to reach out to her, possibly in a not too creepy way. Maybe just a sweet comment on one of her videos and if she replies… Well, he doesn’t know what comes after, but he’ll figure it out.

Y/N updates regularly. Usually once a week and mostly it’s Sunday when a new video gets uploaded. This next Sunday Harry finds himself checking her page occasionally through the day to see if there’s a new update, but it seems like she is missing today. Right until he is driving home and gets a notification from the app.

Y/N has just uploaded a new video! It reads and Harry’s heart beats a tad bit faster. He thinks about pulling over to see it right away, but he tells himself that would be a bit too much, so he is forced to wait until he is in the comfort of his home.

Finally sitting on his couch he opens up his laptop and clicks on the video that has the title: September update.

Y/N sits in her usual spot, Henry in her arms as she is gently stroking his head with a warm smile on her face.

“Hi Sammy! Welcome back to our channel,” she greets him with her usual words and Harry loves how she calls the channel theirs. “This is my September update, even though not much has happened,” she breathes out, eyes wandering to the window besides her and Harry wonders what she sees from her window every day. Does she live in the city? Is it an apartment or a house with a backyard? Are there any trees or does her room have a terrible view, maybe just another house next to hers?

She starts her talk about the month, which she spent mostly with working, a little shopping and meeting her friends. She tells him about her planned trip to the local shelter to see possible new kittens to add to her household and Harry feels himself growing excited about it. He even thinks about what kind of cat he can see get along well with Henry even though he has never even met him.

“Anyway, mom and dad miss you, I miss you too. I loved your joke about ducks in your latest email,” she chuckles sweetly, bringing a smile to Harry’s face as well. “Mom is excited to see you at Christmas, our cousins will come to Portland as well. Maya can’t wait to play Jenga with you, she said she’s been practicing.”

The video soon ends as Y/N tells Sammy how much she loves him and eventually turns the camera off.

He straight away moves the cursor to the beginning of the video and as she starts talking again he scrolls down to the comment section that’s entirely empty. There are only two views on her video, usually a hundred is the max, but she doesn’t seem to care about the views, it’s more about the message.

He clicks to type a comment, but his hands stop above the keyboard as he tries to think of what to write. Mitch was right about taking a chance at reaching out, but what is he supposed to write exactly? Everything that comes to his mind sounds so creepy and scary, and he knows it’s weird that he formed such a deep connection to an unknown girl online. At last he starts typing.

“Hi Y/N! I’ve stumbled across your videos the other day. Love how you keep your brother updated, it’s such a nice gesture. I hope life treats you and Sammy well, you truly deserve it. Good luck with finding a buddy for Henry! Love, an admirer of yours, H.”

He reads it back several times, deleting then retyping it again until he decides to just go with it. A rush of adrenaline washes over his body when he sends the comment and it’s officially out there. Secretly he wishes she would reply right away, but moments pass by, then moments turn into minutes and nothing happens. His comment stands there alone and he has to realize that maybe she will never even reply or even see it.

It doesn’t matter, he tells himself as he shuts the laptop down and goes on to do his things, but he finds his thoughts wander over to her from time to time.

He has a busy day ahead of him the next day, quite a few meetings and a fitting. He checks back for a reply in the morning, but it slips his mind the moment he leaves from home and his phone rings right away. Throughout the day he basically barely has time to check his emails, his other notifications are just sitting patiently on the bar, waiting for him to acknowledge them. It’s way past five in the afternoon when he finally have some time for himself after his fitting. He is sitting in his car, people walk past him without even realizing who is sitting behind the tinted windows. Scrolling down he gets rid of everything that doesn’t seem urgent until his eyes stop at one particular notification.

“Y/N replied to your comment,” he reads it out loud, just to make it real, as if he is seeing it wrong and saying it with his own mouth brings it to life. He quickly taps on it and the familiar video opens up and while Y/N starts talking again the screen jumps down to the comments where, in fact, there is a reply from her.

“Dear H! Thank you for your heartfelt comment! I always forget it’s not just my family who sees these videos, but I’m happy you found them interesting enough to watch a few of them.”

“A few?” Harry huffs to himself feeling a little ridiculous he has watched all of them.

“I hope I didn’t bore you too much. Thank you for the well wishes for me, my brother and Henry too. He is sending his love to you. Y/N xx”

The comment was posted three hours ago. The thought that she has acknowledged his existence with not only reading but also replying to his comment brings him extreme joy. He reads her words over and over again, looking for any clue that would give away that she found his comment weird, but it seems like she was more surprised and happy that someone else saw her video besides her brother. Harry starts to type his reply without hesitation.

“Bore me? You saved me from watching another “what’s in my bag” video the other day. It was a pleasant change. I love your plants, by the way. Your room always gives off the most relaxed vibes. It reminded me I should have more of them in my home. H”

Harry smiles to himself posting his comment, the fear of appearing like a stalker long gone from him, the interaction is making his inside blossom from joy. For his biggest surprise a reply appears just a few minutes away and Harry reads Y/N’s new lines with deep hunger.

“Those videos suck the life out of me every time! I might be having a problem with buying too many plants, but I can’t help myself. They truly bring peace to me just by looking at them. I’m glad you are planning on buying some more, you won’t regret it!”

Harry is dying to reply, but he doesn’t want to look too eager and needy, so he opts for just liking her comment to let her know he read it and agrees. He locks his phone and puts it aside with the widest smile on his face as he starts his car and leaves his parking spot.

Two weeks pass by. In those two weeks Y/N uploads two more videos, one about her time with her grandparents, for a change it was filmed at their home and they even said hello in it. Harry feels wholesome seeing her with her granny and grandpa, it’s clear she cares a lot about them. The other video is just a short one where she has met some of Sammy’s old high school friends and she had a check in from them, sending a sweet message to him through the video. Harry doesn’t doubt how much these little things mean to Sammy, even if he doesn’t get to see them right away. Seeing Y/N alone boosts his mood every time she uploads a new video, he can only imagine how they make Sammy feel.

He leaves comments on her videos without a second thought and she replies to all of them, a lot of the time almost immediately. These are the highlights of his days without exception. Knowing that she has anything to do with him just fascinates him and he is starting to realize what his fans feel towards him on a different level. Whenever he sees the notification that she has replied to what he wrote or that she uploaded a new video he flies right to her page to check it, no matter what he is doing. Some of their comment threads turn out pretty lengthy, almost like a chat conversation and it has Harry wonder how they could maybe move it to somewhere else from the comment section.

He wants to ask for her number, but figures it wouldn’t be the best idea. Regardless of how much he enjoys their short little conversations, the situation is still weird and complicated and he doesn’t want to forget that.

But he is pleasantly surprised when she brings it up herself, to move the conversation to somewhere else.

“Would love to discuss that more with you. Up for exchanging IG names?” her question reads and he blinks a few before he fully comprehends that she wants to talk to him more in private. However there’s no way he can send her his real Instagram profile and making a fake one would be way too suspicious. Opening up the private messages he sends her a short, but informative message.

“I don’t use Instagram, but feel free to text me,” and then his phone number.

He sits at the dinner table anxiously, waiting for his phone to light up from a new text, and just a few minutes later it finally comes.

“Hi! It’s Y/N,” he reads from the notification and he saves the number right away.

“Hello! Save me as Harry. I haven’t even told you my name yet, how rude of me!” he replies chuckling to himself.

“Will let it slip this time. Harry. What a nice name!”

“Is it what you thought about from the H?”

“It was one of my theories. The other one was Hayes, but Harry fits you better.”

“You haven’t even seen me, how do you know what name fits me?”

“I don’t know. You had a vibe. There are many great Harries in the world, you seemed to fit between them!”

Harry wonders if she is thinking about him without even knowing that… it is him. He wants to ask her, but decides not to. Instead, he is enjoying that he can now reach her immediately and not through a comment section. He never thought this would actually happen.

The texts never stop. They have so much to talk about! Their entire life to share, millions of thoughts and so much to discuss! Harry is not proud of the time he has spent with his eyes glued to his phone, but he wouldn’t miss a chance to talk to her for anything. Their friends are not blind to the change in him, but Mitch is the only one with a guess about why he has gotten so addicted to his phone.

“Is it the girl from the videos?” he asks Harry one time when they are at the studio, having lunch break. Different food boxes are scattered around them, on the table and the couch. Harry’s phone just light up from a text and he immediately dropped his lunch to type a response.

He glances up at his friend with a shy smile nodding his head. He hasn’t talked about his newly funded friendship with Y/N yet, it feels like as if he tells it to anyone it might evaporate into just a dream.

“So you reached out, huh?”

“I did,” he nods returning to his food once his message is sent. “She’s great.”

“Does she know who she is talking to?” Harry’s lack of answer tells enough about the truth to Mitch. “You can’t hide forever, especially if you are planning on meeting her.”

“I know,” he answers shortly. “But I just don’t know how I could even bring it up to her without sounding like a mad man.”

“She’ll need proof.”

“M’not ready to show m’self to her. What if it changes everything?”

“Then it wasn’t worth it,” he simply tells him.

Deep down Harry knows it’s the truth, but he is not ready to be robbed from the joy she is bringing him. He has never felt such a deep connection to anyone before and they haven’t even met. It’s just a version of her he is seeing on the screen, not her real self. But it feels real to him and he wants to keep this reality to himself for just a little longer.

“I wish I could hear your voice, Harry. You are one big mystery to me, you know that?”

He forgets to breathe for a moment as he reads her message, lying in bed one evening, getting ready to sleep, but he wanted to check in with her before ending the day.

“You know so much about me already,” he types back.

“Not enough, I feel like. Sometimes I’m afraid Nev and Max are about to show up at my door and tell me that I’ve been catfished.”

He chuckles at her words, though he completely understands her fear.

“What do you want from me then?”

“Send me a voice message so I know you are real. That would put my suspicion to sleep. For a while…”

Harry hesitates for a long time until he decides just one voice message couldn’t hurt. Just a short one where his voice is not that recognizable so his cover won’t be over immediately.

“Good night, Y/N,” he tells into his phone and then send the recording to her.

He watches the status change from delivered to read and a couple of minutes go by before she finally responds.

“Thank you. Now I know that you are real. I hope I’ll hear your voice in real life one day.”

“I hope that too.”

His time spent undercover is coming to an end and he knows it’ll happen soon. It’s been weeks since they started chatting, almost an entire month and she’s been hinting her will to see his face and though he has been putting it off, he knows it has to happen.

Fate is playing under his hands, because he is traveling to Seattle for a few days, exactly when Y/N is traveling there to visit her parents.

“I hope you know you can’t leave without meeting finally,” she wrote when she found out they are going to be in the same city.

“It never even crossed my mind!” he wrote back chuckling to himself, however it brought him extreme anxiety that he is now going to be forced to come clean about who he really is.

He spends his whole flight to Seattle making up possible outcomes for their first official meeting. Not all of them end well and it’s just fueling his fear that he might lose her for not telling her the entire truth.

But she is a smart girl, she’ll see your reasoning, he tells himself, however he can’t entirely convince himself that it will be the case.

In hopes of squeezing in more than just one meeting into the weekend they agreed to meet almost first thing after he lands. So after checking into his hotel he heads into the city to finally meet her in real life in a local café she suggested for the occasion. Arriving to the place he is running a little late and she already texted him she’ll be waiting for him inside. Harry is wearing a beanie with shades to try to keep up his cover and it seems to be working, no one has approached him yet.

Stepping inside the cozy looking place his eyes roam around and immediately finds her sitting in the corner, pouring sugar into her coffee, not even paying attention to the door at the moment, but truth is she’s been intensely staring at it in the past ten minutes she has been there.

Harry takes a deep breath and nods to himself before heading in her way, hands shaking nervously as he stops at her table.

She glances up at him with innocent eyes, a smile spreads across her face as she sees that her mysterious Harry has arrived and she doesn’t recognize her until he finally takes his sunglasses off.

Harry watches her face turn from happiness to surprise then utter shock as she realizes who is standing in front of him.

“You are… my Harry?” she asks, confusion laced through her voice and Harry can’t ignore how she called him her Harry. He likes the ring of it.

“M’orry if it’s a little too much f’you, I really didn’t know how to tell ya.”

Keeping his eyes on her he pulls out the other chair at the table and takes a seat across her while she is still staring at him with a shocked and puzzled expression sitting on her face. Then she looks around in suspicion as he wiggles his coat off his arms, before her eyes settle on him once again.

“It’s not an episode of Catfish, right?” she asks making him chuckle.

“It is not, don’t worry.”

“I’m sorry if I’m being weird, but this was literally the last thing I was expecting,” she admits leaning back in her seat. “I believed things like this only happen in movies.”

“Not just there,” he smiles, slowly relieving that she is still sitting there and hasn’t ran out. It’s going way better than he expected.

She needs a little time to put the whole picture together and befriend the thought that she indeed just developed a friendship with Harry Styles through her videos for her brother. The absurdity is still shocking to her, but the more time passes by with him still sitting there, the more she finds peace with it.

Once the shock and surprise is gone they slowly realize they are seeing each other in real life finally. Harry feels overwhelmed, she is even more breathtaking than in her videos and through texts. He is mesmerized by her whole being and could listen to her talk in person forever, he wouldn’t get bored of her.

Time stops existing as they sit at the little café, talking for hours even though that’s all they’ve been doing through texts, but they just can’t get enough of hearing each other, seeing each other’s reaction and be able to see each other and not stare at a screen while talking.

Unfortunately, time never stopped just for the two of them and soon she realizes she needs to head back home. Harry doesn’t want to let go of her just yet so he offers to give her a ride, thanking himself for getting a rental for himself upon arriving. Y/N accepts the offer so the two of them head back to her parents’ home, soaking up the last minutes of their precious time spent together.

“Thank you for today, I really loved meeting you finally,” she smiles at him once they are parked on the driveway.

“I hope I didn’t shock you too much,” he chuckles scratching his chin.

“Just a little,” she admits before they both get out of the car and walking around it she stops in front of him, after a moment of hesitation she opts for a hug that he returns more than happily.

It feels as if her frame was perfectly sculpted to fit in his embrace and Harry can’t imagine how he could go this long without even seeing her in person. He knows it’s gonna be utter misery to be away from her after they leave the city.

“Will I see you before you take off?” she asks letting go of him. Harry looks down at her, the urge to kiss her growing bigger with each passing moment, but he is not sure if it would be appropriate to give it a try on their first time meeting.

“I’m free tomorrow for a lunch,” he tells her and she nods smiling.

“Then I’m free too,” she chuckles.

There’s an awkward moment where they are not sure what else should be done or said and the more they wait the weirder it’s getting so Harry clears his throat as he takes a step back, sad that he has to leave without feeling her lips on his, but he is not trying to be too greedy.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then,” he smiles walking back to his car. Y/N waves after him and sitting back to behind the wheel he takes a moment to himself to collect himself after everything that has happened today. His hands curl around the wheel and he is about to start the car when someone knocks on the window. Y/N is smiling at him through the glass and he rolls it down curiously.

“I just…” she starts hesitantly, her eyes wander down to his lips and Harry knows what’s about to happen, but it still catches him by surprise.

Y/N leans in through the window and presses her lips to Harry’s, capturing them in a sweet, long awaited first kiss they both have been dreaming of for quite a while. Harry smiles into the kiss, bringing his right hand up to cup her cheeks as they stretch the moment for as long as possible. Whenever one pulls back the other brings them back for just one more kiss that turns into two more, then three… It takes a long time for them to finally let go of each other.

“See you later, H,” she smiles backing out of the car and running up to the front door, smiling wildly as she waves in his way one last time before disappearing in the house.

Lying in bed that evening Harry is scrolling through his Instagram feed when he finally realizes he can now follow her without a worry. He is quick to find her profile again and hit that follow button. He is happy to see she was already following him.

He is just about to put his phone aside and go to bed after such a busy but exciting day when a notification pops up on the screen.

Y/N has just uploaded a new video!

He taps on it quickly and her smiling face greets him from his phone’s screen.

“Hi Sammy! It’s me again. Welcome back to our channel,” she starts with a shy smile. The setting is new this time, he supposes it’s her parents’ home this time. “This is going to be a short video, but I wanted to tell you about something. Or someone.”

Harry’s heart skips a beat when he thinks about where it’s heading. He listens to her voice holding his breath.

“I met someone today. We’ve been talking for a while, but I could finally hug him today. His name is Harry, and he is a wonderful man. I think you two would get along well,” she says with a soft chuckle. “I love spending time with him and I hope he feels the same way. Actually…” Her eyes move up straight to the camera, something she doesn’t do often. She usually stares out the window or plays with Henry while talking. “I think he is watching it right now. Hi Harry!”

“Hello, Beautiful,” he greets her back with a smile as if she could hear him.

“I wanted to tell you how amazing you are making me feel. I hope I didn’t disappoint. I was so nervous to meet you today, I hope I lived up to what you imagined me to be.”

“You were so much better than that,” he answers again.

“Anyway… I hope you feel the same way. You are the first guy I’m talking about in an update, so appreciate it!” she tells him and he chuckles lightly. “I’ll see you soon, H. But until then… Know that I’m thinking about you.”

“M’thinking about you too, Angel.”

“Sammy, I miss you as always. I hope everything is well, can’t wait for your next email. I love you,” she smiles before the video ends.

Harry heads straight to the comments. This time he doesn’t leave a lengthy one, just a short line, but it has everything he wanted to tell her.

“I feel the same way.” The comment reads. Just a few seconds later comes the notification and he smiles sweetly at his phone.

Y/N liked the comment.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles oneshot #harry styles fluff #harry styles fiction #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry #styles #one direction #harry styles fanfictions

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fangirlfics · 4 years

Text

What a Pirate (Harry Hook x reader)

summary: After the core four leave for Auradon y/n is left to fend for herself on the isle, it’s a hard and lonely life-then her path crosses with certain flirty pirate.

word count: 3,660

Evie tool y/n’s hands in hers, “don’t worry y/n, we’ll be back in no time.“ She assured her friend. Slowly she pulled her into an embrace before turning and ducking into the limbo from Auradon.

“Yeah in no time.“ Jay confirmed with a smirk and a quick wink. He ruffled her hair lightly before getting in the limbo-hat in hand. Then y/n realized that the gold crown that was on the front of the limbo was gone. Smooth Jay, smooth.

“I don’t even wanna go.“ Mal said-throwing her bag into the limbo. “Going to school with a bunch of prissy princesses sounds...gross. No way am I staying there long...“ With a wink she got into the limbo too.

Carlos’s mom came running out after him but he had made it into the limbo quickly. “We’ll miss you!“ Evie shouted out to y/n and she smiled sadly.

“You guys better not forget about me.“ y/n joked.

Carlos stuck his head out of the limbo, “catch“ he said, tossing a shiny thing her way.

y/n looked down at the item in her hand-a small silver pocket watch.“What’s this for?” She asked, looking back.

Carlos shrugged, “Now I have to come back to get my watch.” y/n smiled, nodding at her friend. Then the limbo drove off.

Well that was almost four months ago now.

“We’ll be back in no time.“ y/n reminded herself, taking a big bite out of an apple. It was more bitter than she would have liked it to be but this was the Isle, and at least it wasn’t the worst meal she had eaten. She forced herself to swallow the food, trying to think of something positive. The only thing that she could think of were her friends-the hope that she’d see them soon.Without them she felt sad, forgotten...alone. But at least they could have better lives in Auradon. And if the cost of that was her being lonely- then so be it.

y/n continued to take bites out of her apple, eventually dropping the core when she finished. She stood, catching a glimpse of Auradon in the distance and stared for a moment. She reached in her pocket to feel Carlos’s watch, but it wasn’t there. Oh no. She checked her pockets suddenly feeling a small wave of panic when it wasn’t there. Great going y/n you lost it. She sighed, looking up at the sky and took a deep breath.

y/n got down from the building’s roof and was making her way through the cluttered market, keeping her hands in her pockets when she caught a flash of something shiny a couple of feet ahead of her. She stopped in her tracks, looking up and her mouth fell open. That was without a doubt Carlos’s watch. It’s chain hung motionless from someone’s pocket. A small boost of confidence made it’s way into y/n as she approached the person. Then she saw who was in possession of the watch and her confidence faded.

That was Harry Hook.

Harry freaking Hook.

Out of all the people that could have had the watch, it just had to be Harry. Pick pocketing him probably wouldn’t end well, it never did for anyone. But she glanced back down at the watch then to him, then to the watch again. He was distracted-talking to some girl. y/n bit her lip, feeling desperate. Just take it and leave she told herself, easy peasy. But that didn’t stop her legs from shaking as she made her way towards the pirate. Her eyes remained ahead of her as she lightly brushed against the boy’s side-fingers quickly slipping the watch from his pocket to hers. Ok go get away. She mentally yelled at herself, but she forced herself to keep her pace the same-not wanting to draw any suspicion.

Once she was a few feet away she looked back to Harry-he was gone. Her jaw dropped for a moment before she quickly hid behind the nearest wall. She quickly scanned her surroundings-noticing a ladder on the side of the building in front of her. Quick escape. She stepped towards it, reaching her hand out but before she could grab hold of the ladder someone grabbed her wrist from behind, stopping her. Before she could react a she felt something cool on her shoulder and was spun around before being backed into the wall. Now against the cool wall, goosebumps formed up her spine as she looked up towards her captive. Then she was face to face with Harry Hook. He had his infamous grin as he looked down at her-obviously pleased about having successfully trapping her against the wall. He was really quite attractive-but he could also be annoying.

“Well, well...well.” He whispered in his Scottish accent. Raising his hook up to her face slowly, he stroked her jawline with the cool metal as a form of intimidation. “y/n...” He said widening his eyes a little.

“Hook.” y/n spat in response.

His smile widened at the tone of her voice. “aww...” He pouted sarcastically, “ye mad?” y/n stared directly at him with an impassive expression. Harry shook his head, “tsk tsk tsk. It appears ye’ve taken somethin’ of mine.” He lowered his hook, keeping her pinned against the wall.

“What could I have possibly taken from you?” y/n sneered.

“Oh I don’t know....” He said glancing up in thought. “Maybe this?” He held up the pocket watch that had been in her pocket with his hook. y/n’s eyes widened as her mouth gaped open. “Ye know, ye should really be more careful when ye pickpocket someone...especially if that someone is me...” He breathed in her face, glancing down at her lips.

y/n got her expression under control again “Actually, you took that first. It’s mine.“

Harry chuckled lightly, “Well, now it’s mine.” He told her seriously now. “But that doesn’t change the fact that ye tried stealing from me.” He let his hook go back to her face, brushing her hair to the side. “And ye know what happens to people who steal from me?”

y/n smiled-only making Harry even more pleased-If anyone else was in y/n’s position they’d be trembling but she wasn’t, he smiled-enjoying the change in reactions. “I’m guessing you ‘hook’ them?” y/n answered.

“Correct.” He whispered, brushing her jaw lightly once more with his hook-he was really enjoying this. “But...” He thought, lowering his hook. “Maybe I can make an acception...for ye...maybe we can make a trade.”

“And what do you propose goes into this trade?” y/n asked.

“Well...ye get to walk away and keep this watch that you seem to be so obsessed with.”

y/n raised a brow in suspicion, “that sounds too good to be true, what’s the catch?“

“Catch?“ Harry asked, pretending to be offended. “This is a deal, there’s no catch.“

“I mean what do you get? Why would you let me go?“

“ah...“ Harry’s smile only widened as he leaned closer to her. “Ye get to go because what I want...is a good price“

“And what do you want?” y/n questioned, “whatever it is can’t be good.”

Harry leaned in even closer, brushing his nose against y/n’s. The close proximity made y/n nervously shift her eyes to the side before quickly looking back at him-she hoped he didn’t notice, but he did. And he loved that he could make her nervous. “What I want...“ Harry said pausing for dramatic effect, “is...a kiss.“

y/n’s breath hitched for a moment as her mouth parted in surprise. “wh-” she closed her mouth again.

“Speechless?” Harry asked the girl, tilting his head he brushed his nose against hers once more. “It’s a fair trade if ye ask me, lass.” He whispered into her ear, making her shudder. Knowing the effect he had on her, Harry smiled-leaning away again he let his lips lightly brush against her jaw line. “So what do ye say?”

y/n looked at the boy then to the side. “I get the watch?” She asked.

“That was what the deal...” Harry confirmed, smiling mischievously.

y/n stared at nothing for a moment before snapping her attention back to the pirate. “Fine.”

Harry smiled wider, before making his move. He slowly leaned in closer, bringing his hand up to her chin to tilt her head back then placed his lips against hers. The kiss was way different than she thought it would be, it was slow, soft and Harry was gentle. He brought his other hand-he must’ve set his hook down earlier-to the small of her back to pull her away from the wall and closer into his chest. Then a voice rang out from somewhere further away-pulling the two back to reality. “Harry! Uma wants you!” Yeah that was Gil. Harry pulled away with a menacing look in his eyes-looking towards the direction where the voice came from. Strangely, y/n was disappointed with how fast that had happened.

“Well then.” y/n said quickly recovering, she put her hand out to Harry, palm up. Harry’s arm was still around her as he looked down, but he stepped back letting her go and pulled the watch out of his pocket.

“On second thought...” Harry smiled, looking down at the watch. “Of I keep this, ye got no choixe but te keep seein-”

“Hook.“

“Ye can call me Harry ye know.“ Harry said, placing the watch in her hand. “Why’s that thing matter so much to ye anyway?“

y/n put the watch in her pocket, crossing her arms over her chest before looking back up to the pirate, “Someone important wanted me to hang on to it for a bit.“ She said truthfully, “as a promise.“

“A promise, eh? Who gave it to ye? Boyfriend.“

“That’s none of your business.“

Harry grinned once more, tilting his head to the side. “Nah, couldn’t have been a boyfriend. If ye had a boyfriend ye wouldn’t like me...yer not the cheatin’ type.“

“And who says I like you?“ y/n asked with a laugh.

“Well nobody had to say it.“ Harry responded, then he leaned in whispering into her ear, “If ye didn’t like me, ye wouldn’t’ve kissed me the way ye did.”

y/n opened her mouth in shock much to Harry’s entertainment. “Got to go.“ He said casually, putting his hook back on, “I trust that I’ll be seein’ more of ye.“ He started to walk away.

“What makes you think that?“ y/n asked louder so that he could hear.

He turned his head back to answer, “Well cuz I have this.” He held up one of y/n bracelet. For the third time y/n’s mouth fell open as she looked down at her right wrist-which now had no jewelry on it.

What a pirate.

#descendants #Descendants 2 #descendants 3 #descendants fanfiction #harry hook #harry hook x reader #harry hook imagine #Isle of the Lost #disney descendants #auradon #vks

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crystalline1206 · 3 years

Text

The Rifle

Chapter 1 “Kal'Tava”

Title: The Rifle Pairings: Mandalorian x F!Reader Rating: E (for language, sexual situations, No YOUNGLINGS lurking where they shouldn’t) Setting: Before Season 1 (briefly), before Season 2, leading into Season 2 eventually, slower burn. Summary: You always believed that trouble had a knack for finding you… You just never realized what trouble really meant until you met him. — “Why did you help me?” “…You looked like you needed your rifle,” Warnings: Age gap (LATER) Older man/younger woman, explicit sexual scenes and sexual situations leading up to it after chapter 8 Word Count: 1446 A/N: Hello! Welcome to my first story I actually have a plan for! I fell down a deep dark Mandalorian hole and I plan on making a living here. So sit back, relax, and enjoy! If you have any pointers or tips feel free to send them my way, but please, be kind! Banner inspired by @valkblue

This story takes place 10 years before Mando and Baby Yoda leave Nevarro as a clan of 2. I did some quick math and estimated that Din was born around 3251 LY / 26BBY which is a few years before the clone wars and therefore he is around 35 years old when The Child is found in 3286 / 9ABY. All that said, Mando is in his mid 20’s to your teens and any and all romance will be much much later. P.S. Yena is a play on y/n, thought it’d be a clever way to handle that!

Chapter Summary: You never get a second chance to make a first impression

“Did you see the Mandalorian in town?”

Your father couldn’t help but notice you perking up after overhearing your sister’s conversation. He swung around to your work station and gave you a nudge to get you back to work, which you returned in kind at being caught. Sure, Odell and Ravi could stand around and talk while putting merchandise away, but as soon as you so much as tilt your head, you get stuck with the reprimand. You did allow yourself a small bit of pride at being the best out of your siblings with fixing blasters and the occasional landspeeder, but at the cost of being able to walk into the market and gossip with friends, it didn’t seem like all that great of an accomplishment at the moment.

“A Mandalorian? Those are the bounty hunters right? With all the weapons and armor?” You piped up from your little corner as you fiddled with the blaster in your hands, only to have it yanked from your hands as your father towered over you.

“No no no, I know you. You keep your head down and stay out of trouble, Yena. I mean it,” Your eyes crossed as he waved a meaty finger in your face.

“But I—“ Your voice pitched in defense.

”Calm down, Cadri. It’s hard not being curious about new people here, she doesn’t mean anything by it,” Your mother, ever the voice of reason, seemed to understand you teenage curiosity more than the rest of your family.

Your father, however, was strict man, quiet, and kept to himself; all qualities that he “claimed” helped him live through some of the galaxy’s more tumultuous years… Honestly, you thought it had more to do with the fact that you all lived in the shadiest part of the outer rim. Nonetheless, your father strove to instill these qualities into his many children, mostly through manual labor and a lack of free time. Hard to get into trouble when you hardly left the weapons mechanic shop, but you always swore that you never went looking for trouble. Truly, it just always seemed to find you. You always thought it had more to do with being one of the younglings and getting left behind to fend for yourself out of your three sisters and two brothers.

“Oh come on, Baba. I don’t get into trouble!” You exclaimed heatedly.

“Ha! If you lied half as well as you fixed blasters then maybe that would have been more believable,” You heard your sister’s snarky comment from the corner of the store.

“Nobody asked for your opinion, Odell—“ You snapped.

“It’s not an opinion it’s a fact,”

“I’ll show you a fact, when I come over there and kick your a—!” You had already started to get up to lunge towards her when your father tried to intervene.

“Girls! Enough—“

“… Do you carry ammo for Amban rifles?”

Five pairs of eyes turned towards the lone figure that had just stepped through the doorway. Your eyes immediately focused on the T-shaped visor set in smooth silver beskar. Even out here, you and your siblings were all trained to know quality steel when you saw it, what with your family being in weapon and ship repairs. This was your first time seeing real Mandalorian beskar in person though, much less on a real Mandalorian. You knew there had been a Mandalorian in town a few years back but you’d never actually seen him since he worked for gangsters. Your family must have though if the wide eyed looks of your family members were anything to go by, he definitely did cut an intimidating figure.

“… Yes. We don’t have much in stock but we do carry the rounds,” Your father finally broke the tense silence, startling your sister and mother into action as they shuffled over to the stock room.

“I’ll take what you have. How much?” The Mandalorian swung his rifle around to place in front of your father, but something in the movement caught your eye.

“15 wupiupi—“

“Your rifle… it has a short in the barrel,” You vaguely heard your father’s harsh whisper of your name as you tentatively reached for the rifle, “The trigger is loose, and butt of the rifle is worn down as well… probably from the recoil when you fire,”

You looked up and met the empty glare of the T-visor, your breath caught as you realized that you had essentially taken his gun out of his hands and given him unsolicited criticism on the maintenance of said gun to his face— or rather helmet. You knew you were right in your assessment, you’d been working on guns your entire life, but being met with silence made your stomach drop. You resisted the urge to blurt out that you didn’t really know anything, that you were just a stupid 17 year old trying to impress a bounty hunter, when he finally spared you from the embarrassment. After what felt like ages, but was surely only seconds, the Mandalorian inclined his head mildly in your father’s direction.

“How much for the repairs?” If anyone saw your knees buckle, you were glad that they hadn’t mentioned it.

“The repairs and the ammo for 60 wupiupi, no less,”

“Fine. How long for the repairs to be done” At this the Mandalorian turned your way and you nearly choked, was he expecting you to do it?

“Uh-hrm… a-a couple of hours? 3 tops—“

“You’ve got one and a half. I’ll pay half now and half when it’s finished,” he neatly dropped a pouch into your father’s unexpecting hands and walked out. The silence left in his wake was deafening, until…

“ Yena , what have you gotten yourself into? You foolish girl!”

Kriff.

To say that your parents were mortified, terrified, and petrified by the spectacular heights of your audacity and stupidity would have been an understatement. Your father cursed every piece of faulty machinery in the shop as he helped you strip the rifle, and despite your mother’s many exclamations of being at a loss for words, she still proceeded to nearly shriek at you for the next 20 minutes as you scrambled to get your workstation together. All in all, you were nearly to the point of tears and you only had an hour left to fix the damned thing.

“I take back every time I said I didn’t get myself into trouble, you were right, you were all right,” Your mother’s hysterics must have rubbed off on you because you were nearly inconsolable as you tore your station apart for a driver small enough to tighten the trigger to the firing mechanism.

In a moment of clarity, your father finally kicked your mother and sisters out so you could focus, not that it helped much at this point as you glanced at the clock every 5 minutes. After the 5th time you burned yourself with your welder you finally stopped watching the clock and finished up. The short itself was an exposed wire that was messing with the transfer of the Tibanna gas and creating more force than necessary during firing, which resulted in the excessive recoil and a loose trigger. Your father’s store didn’t carry the type of gunstock necessary to replace the worn butt of the Mandalorian’s rifle, so all you could do was clean, reassemble, and call it done. You wiped your brow and looked up at the clock and realized you had actually made it with 3 minutes to spare, sobs of relief nearly melting you out of your chair as you held the rifle reverently to your chest.

“Get down!” You felt the shock of the explosion before you saw the smoke and ran out into the street with the rifle still pressed to your chest.

“What’s going on?!” You managed your pull one of your neighbors towards you from the people running away from the blast.

“That Mandalorian, the-the crew he was with turned on him! It’s a disaster, he’s holed up in a house, they have him pinned cuz he got hurt saving Ravi!” You felt your blood run cold.

The Mandalorian had saved your sister…

The Mandalorian had saved your sister and he had gotten hurt doing it, and now he was trapped in a house getting shot at by his own crewmates.

Your feet began to move before you had even finished thinking of a plan, rushing into the store and grabbing a box of the ammo the Mandalorian had requested. You strapped the gun to your back and rushed out the back door. It was starting to look like trouble was going to be a friend of yours now.

#the mandalorian #the mandolorian x reader #the mandolorian #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian fanfic #mando x reader #mando #Mandalorian #the mandolorian fanfic #Mandolorian #mandalorian x reader #mandolorian x reader #reader #reader fanfiction #no y/n

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mikwrites-archive · 3 years

Text

find you.

pairing: kwon soonyoung x reader genre: celestial au, strangers to lovers, hoshi has amnesia, kinda car crash? fluff, angst warnings: none! wc: 2.3k

a/n: this has been in my drafts for so long and i just finished even though i’m not entirely happy with some parts i hope you guys enjoy hehe (kinda unedited cuz its long and my head is done w this HWJBSDJFHS) !! also the last part in italics is a flashback !!

It’s peculiar, you think, how stars shine in the sky.

Miniscule pinpricks of light, often second to the moon's gentle shine, blazing fiery bright only in the nothingness of outer space, millions to count, only a few truly seen from the ground. Perhaps they weren't all that different from lonely souls on earth.

It’s an entirely too romantic thought to have, that each star in the sky can be bonded to a solitary soul, but for some, it can be comforting to have such a being, when no other seems to be present. For while it may be believably impossible that stars shine for one individual, it can be, if you’re the only one looking.

And it feels like such a nostalgic phenomenon as you sit in your car, red light washing your vision as you wait for it to flood green, gazing out your window to the night sky, focusing on one tiny white light glimmering in the darkness.

It seemed to move, glimmering brighter as it quivered back and forth in the sky. You blame it upon your exhausted state, shaking your head and returning your gaze to the road in front of you. The light blinks green, and your car surges forwards into the intersection, only for you to slam the brakes.

That body wasn’t there five seconds ago.

You’re intensely relieved at the late hour of the night, no other cars in the streets around as you park your car, unbuckling your seatbelt and rushing out.

It’s a boy, about your age, curled up in the middle of the roads, wearing all black casual clothes. He doesn’t move when you approach him, bending down and touching his shoulder gently.

“Hello?”

He stirs slightly at the sound of your voice, and you try again.

“Hello? Do you know your name?”

He doesn’t respond immediately, and panic surges within your chest, but he lifts his head, silver tinted hair blurred with city street lights. His eyes are bright as he opens them slowly, blinking at you.

“Hoshi. My name is Hoshi.”

You wonder if this was a stupid decision.

Hoshi refused to go to the hospital, held no identification, or memory as to who he knew, or where he was, and how he got to the middle of the intersection.

Yet somehow you believed he wasn’t lying, or that he wasn’t insane, letting him sleep in your spare bedroom after driving home with him. You’d stayed awake mostly all night just in case though.

You kick off your covers when you hear the floorboards creak and the quiet shuffling footsteps that follow. Hoshi offers to help you with breakfast, and when you gently refuse, he sits, watching you from the countertop stool.

You ask him questions, ones to which he barely has answers to, and when you serve pancakes, you inquire the most pressing matter.

“Where will you go?” You’re not sure why you’re suddenly protective of this stranger, but as he stuffs pancakes into his face, you’re more concerned as to whether he’s breathing as he eats rather than a murder.

“Not sure.” He swallows. “But I’m sure it’s weird to have me here. Thank you for all you’ve done so far.”

“Do you have anywhere to go? Where’s your home? Last night…” you purse your lips. “How did you get into the middle of the intersection?”

“I don’t know.”

Hoshi seems too nonchalant, and you’re absolutely dumbfounded.

“Well… until you do… I guess you could stay here. My roommate moved out recently so you could take that room. If you want.”

“You’d be okay with that?” He blinks, setting his fork down, and you shrug reluctantly.

“Just until you find your way home.”

He nods, smiling.

“Just until I find my way home.”

It’s harder said than done.

Hoshi tries not to show it, but the frustration is palpable whenever you come home and ask him his progress.

A small, tight lipped smile as he tells you the same thing.

“Slowly getting there. I feel it.”

It’s not completely fruitless; you’ve discovered that Hoshi likes to dance, flawlessly moving his body and with a passion that leaves him glowing. You’ve also found his fascination with tigers, buying him a variety of plushies for his room, helping him feel less lonely as you were at work.

Yet nothing could be found about his way home.

You didn’t mind, as you made it a few weeks in living with one another, but neither of you could deny it was gnawing at you both.

One weekend, as you both sit on the couch, watching a drama Hoshi had taken a liking to, he pipes up.

“Why do you trust me?”

“I don’t know.” You sigh quietly, regretful at the fact you couldn’t give him more answers. “Why do you trust me?”

“I don’t know. I feel like,” he hesitates, picking at the blanket. “Like I know you from somewhere. I go around to the park, to the intersection where I woke up, to shops and cafes, and I can't find anyone or anything I find remotely familiar. Except you.”

“Is it crazy if I said I feel like I know you too?”

“Yeah.” He laughs, dispelling the awkward mood, and you snort, hugging a pillow to your chest. “Like something out of a drama.”

That night, you can’t sleep.

You’re tossing and turning, the covers getting tangled between your legs, and when you finally get up to drink a glass of water in an attempt to calm your mind, you hear a faint murmur from Hoshi’s room.

His door is slightly ajar, and as you peer in, his blankets are half on the floor while he mutters in his sleep. He looks distressed, eyebrows furrowed as his head turns from side to side, as if looking for a place to escape. Rushing to the side of his bed, you place a tentative hand on his forehead.

He’s burning up, and something, despite the shut curtains, was illuminating the room in a hazy glow, though in your concern, you couldn’t pinpoint where it was emanating from. And you’re not sure you would have believed it if you did, radiating from under his skin.

“Hoshi, wake up.” You repeat twice, shaking him gently, and when he does wake, it’s with a bursting inhale, bolting up as you scramble back.

He grimaces, and you reach out to touch his hand, but he flinches away, surprised.

It’s quick, hot pain slicing through your nerves, and you cradle your hand to your chest with a gasp.

“Did I hurt you?”

His eyes are wide and sorrowful as he slowly turns your hand in his, running his fingertips gently over the reddened skin.

“It’ll heal.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” You mean it, yet Hoshi still examines it tenderly, making goosebumps rise at his warm touch. “Were you… having a bad dream?”

“I think so.” He lets your hand fall, and you clasp it loosely in your lap. “I don’t remember it though.”

He looks troubled, worrying at his bottom lip, and you wonder if you should bring up the details upon what just happened. But you had a feeling he wouldn’t have any answers himself.

“Do you want to go outside and watch some TV until you fall asleep again?”

He falls asleep halfway through the episode, on your shoulder, and you let him, turning off the screen and resting with him.

“I have a surprise for you.”

“For me?” Hoshi stares at you with wide eyes.

“Don’t get your hopes up. It’s not really special.” You flush.

You figured this was coming, considering that not only has Hoshi hit a complete dead end within his search, and the way you both have grown closer in time. His presence became a reliable one within your life, and the same could be said for you towards Hoshi over the past months.

“What is it?” He presses curiously, and you smile.

“Close your eyes.”

When he does, you drop a key into his hand, waiting expectantly for him to crack open his eyelids, peeking at the object.

“A key?”

“To the apartment.” You elaborate. “I know you used the spare, but I thought I’d give you your own.”

“My own?” His eyes are wide, and you laugh, nodding. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

It’s surprisingly easy to get Hoshi set up as an “identifiable” person, as if the government has dealt with people dropping out of nowhere on a regular basis (you and Hoshi have your conspiracies).

He’s quick to get a job at a cafe nearby, even joining a dance class once a week.

You both slip into a life that’s domestic and easy, and whatever feelings that start to bloom are gentle enough to be heard without words.

But it comes with making a home together.

“We have to stop meeting like this in the middle of the night.”

Your voice is hushed as you open the sliding door to the balcony, having seen Hoshi sitting on the balcony by himself in the middle of the night. He laughs, but it sounds watery.

You watch as a tear pearls at his eye, rolling down, glinting in the moonlight, and you wipe it away gently. He smiles at you kindly despite his own emotions.

“What’s wrong? What’re you doing out here?” You whisper after a few moments, Hoshi returning his gaze off to the night sky.

“I just wanted to sit outside for a little bit. I’m not sure why I’m crying exactly.” He lets out a watery laugh. “I think… maybe I miss home.”

“It’s funny, isn’t it? I can't remember what home looks like or where it is, but I still miss it. Perhaps you can never forget the feeling of home, even if everything else is gone.” He muses.

You sit silently, mulling over his words, unsure of what to say to comfort him. He doesn’t give you the chance, taking your hand, squeezing it gently.

“Thank you, for making me feel like this could be a home for me. For being my home.”

It’s a year and a half later when two people show up at your door.

You’re still asleep, Hoshi hearing the knock and getting up confusedly, careful not to wake you as he presses a kiss to your forehead.

“Hoshi?”

“Yes?” He blinks, peering out the crack of the door opening. Two boys stand outside,

“Thank god, we finally found you.” One of them sighs.

“Seriously, why didn’t you come back when you were supposed to?” The other one gripes, but relief pervades his features.

“Found me? Come back? What?” Hoshi furrows his eyebrows. “Listen, I think you guys are at the wrong place.”

“You really don’t remember us? I’m Jihoon.” The shorter boy points at himself. “And this is Seungcheol.”

“I…” memories twinge faintly on the back of his mind, and he feels a headache coming along. “Listen, I don’t—”

“Your real name is Soonyoung.” Seungcheol prompts quietly, and Hoshi squeezes his eyes shut in a grimace.

It’s not immediate, but the memories rush back in a way that he knows should not have come all at once.

Awoken by the lack of his presence, you pad out of bed, peeking around the corner where you see him talking seriously with two strangers.

“Hoshi?” You murmur, and he turns back, a soft expression on his face. He says something quickly to the men before closing the door and making his way towards you. “Who are they?”

“They’re from… where I’m from.”

“Oh.” Your surprise is evident, and he can’t blame you.

“My real name is Soonyoung. But I’ve been called Hoshi too. It’s Japanese for ‘star’, did you know that?” Soonyoung starts quietly, and you blink.

“I did. God, that was so long ago when I learned that, it’s kind of stupid now that I think about it…” You trail off, eyebrows furrowing as he takes your hands gently, shaking his head.

“I have to go.” Hoshi, no, Soonyoung, murmurs gently, and you swallow.

“What do you mean?”

“I…” He glances back at the door where the duo left from. “I have to go back… to where I came from. I wasn’t supposed to stay this long. Only to help you then go back. But for some reason, I crashed with no memories.”

“Now?” Your head is starting to spin at the pace of this all.

He nods slowly.

“I’ll always be here for you. You’ll always be able to find me. You know that right?” The way he squeezes your hands in his is tender, but you can hear his urgent underlying tone as you nod, uncertain in only the circumstances to which he was telling this to you.

“Will I see you again?”

“You can always see me if you look up.” Hoshi smiles, and your heart cracks a little bit at the words. “But in person, one day.”

“H—Soonyoung.” You tug him close in a tight embrace, and he reciprocates just as hard. You’re struggling to say all the words you want to, and he soothes you comfortingly.

“I know. I know, love.” He kisses you softly. “Let’s meet another time. No goodbyes.”

Your heart aches as the door shuts.

Another time.

You remember another time.

Eyes puffy, you slid open your window with effort, breathing in the evening air.

It’s faint, the memory as to why you were exactly crying, but the feeling of helplessness was heavy.

Stars were beginning to twinkle in the sky, and you found the one you could see every night without fail. You poured out every emotion and thought mindlessly.

It was a comfort to have some kind of stable presence in your life, even if it was a celestial being, miles away.

“I’ll call you Hoshi.” You murmur, and with the finality of a name, you feel like you can breathe in the hot summer atmosphere.

“You’ll always be there for me won’t you? I’ll always be able to find you in the sky.”

You swear the star glimmered brighter.

#caratwritersclub #svtsource #hoshi x reader #hoshi x you #hoshi imagines #kwon soonyoung x reader #kwon soonyoung imagines #soonyoung x reader #soonyoung x you #soonyoung imagines #svt x reader #svt imagines #svt x you #seventeen x you #seventeen imagines #seventeen x reader

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winchesterxxi · 3 years

Text

Tolerate It (Din Djarin x Reader)

Rating: PG-13 my dudes.

Type: Angst and some undercooked tasteless fluff cuz I’m a mess and extremely rusty.

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: Unrequited love, because that’s all we have these days and that shit hurts.

A/N: Based on Taylor Swift’s “Tolerate it” because I deadass listened to that song for the first time and could just picture this scenario ALSO I’m extremely rusty. As in, I haven’t written jackshit like this in over a year. Pardon this crap, but i was really emotional and in need to project onto a newly released song.

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I sit and watch you reading with your head low

The three of you were sitting in the cockpit. The Mandalorian resting his head against the leather of the pilot chair as you sat behind him, The Child in your arms, entertaining itself by tugging and twirling some of your hair strands as you smile down at him and wiggle the occasional finger against his side making him laugh.

This adorable green creature didn’t even phantom about your existence 4 months ago and now you would kill and get killed for it. And admittedly, the same goes for the man resting with his back to you.

I wake and watch you breathing with your eyes closed

I sit and watch you.

You were a servant at the tavern where he was set to meet the Client and hand over the child, which was all part of a bigger plan, you later found out. Just like him and his team, you got trapped when the stormtroopers and deathtroopers surrounded the building and opened fire, killing the Client and sending a bullet flying dangerously close to your head. When Mando, as you called him, found a vent into the sewers he made sure that you were not left behind.

And that started it for you. He directed no more than 10 words in your direction between entering the location and offering an escape once it was crumbling down, but he was willing to save your life. Once out of danger, the questions started: “who are you”, “what’s your name”, and “don’t you have a place to go”. You told him then, the answers to all of those questions. And you also explained how, given that you were a servant you didn’t actually have a place to go back to.

So he did a logical thing. Or at least, then and there, it was a purely logical thing. A pro-quo, if you will. He offered you a place to stay, in return of you working as some sort of a makeshift assistant of his own; someone to look after The Child when he couldn’t and proceed basic maintenance to the Razor Crest when needed.

And you accepted. You know, the logical thing. Or at least , then and there, it was a purely logical thing.

Though small, you had your own bed in the lower part of the ship giving you some privacy, occasionally disrupted by The Child that insisted on being cuddle against you in order to fall asleep or when there was an emergency that required your help, but, even then, Din wouldn’t just barge in; He’d always knock and make sure you were okay with him opening the door.

You told yourself that he was just being respectful - giving you the privacy that he hoped you’d retribute, which you always did. When it came to such things, you’d tip toe around him, not asking too many questions and only talking when spoken to or when you wanted to break an incredibly heavy silence. You respected The Way.

I notice everything you do or don't do

Eventually, you started to pick up through his body language traits and quirks of his personality that you couldn’t capture through the enclosed and hidden facial expressions: how he’d always lay The Child against his left arm while on a hunt as to work the weapons with his other hand, how he’s close his fists whenever he realized that he was about to shoot someone; or how after encasing any creature in carbonite, he’d always look over at his capture for a few moments in silence, before rolling his shoulders back and walk away, without uttering a word.

And those little things started to change with time. Changing, as in, new instincts and unconscious movements came to be concerning you: small things, like he’d never walk you in front of him, so as to be on the lookout to any danger or making sure to deviate any conversation that a badly-internationalized creature might want to direct at you.

Eventually, it became bigger. Or at least you thought. He’d make sure that you were covered whenever you fell asleep anywhere that wasn’t your bed; he started to crack jokes with you and have the occasional fight over whose time it was to bathe the kid, like an old married couple.

You're so much older and wiser, and I I wait by the door like I'm just a kid

I greet you with a battle hero's welcome

Lay the table with the fancy shit And watch you tolerate it

One day he’d be like that, and the next, he’d come back after a hunt in which it was too dangerous for you to go, and you’d been waiting all day (when it wasn’t a whole week) for him to come back, not injured and very much alive, and he almost wouldn’t acknowledge you, going straight into the fresher and locking himself in there.

Every time you’d be at the ready with cloths in your hand, prepared to clean any blood splatter or to wrap any open wound. But he’d dismiss you and lock himself away, somewhere in the ship.

If you didn’t know what mixed signals were before, you sure as hell knew now.

I take your indiscretions all in good fun I sit and listеn, I polish plates until they gleam and glistеn

One day, you had enough.

It was dark night already, and Mando made a lousy entrance through the main portal, struggling to push ahead of him a man much larger than him, draped in canvas coverings.

“Just walk.” Mando grunted, at the same time as he pushed against the man’s back. You were just sitting there, as always, first aid at the ready by your side, watching the scene unfold, unbothered. That is, until you caught the man’s eye.

While you were out building other worlds, where was I?

“Last time I heard you were a lone rider.” He wickedly grins at you. “But maybe that was all talk and you were just keeping this all to yourself.”

You slowly sit upright as your body tenses up. Mando doesn’t utter a word.

“Who’s that pretty thing anyways?”

“No one. Keep walking.” He grunts, pushing the man once more and away from you.

No one.

Maybe you shouldn’t have been so bothered by that description because, truth be told, he was probably trying not to get you involved in any unnecessary interactions with that disgusting being. But it’s as if those words were the final straw you needed to snap out of this passiveness you’ve held on to for the past few months.

“You know virtually everything there is to know about me, my life, and my planet. You gave me shelter and I owe my life to you. But I don’t even know your name.”

“It’s The Way.”

“Oh would you shut the fuck up with that, already?”

“You don’t talk to me like that.”

“Does The Way say that you have to be an asshole 90% of the time. Shutting out the world around you whenever you just don’t feel like dealing with them. I never even got a single thank you for rewiring the central system which prevented us from freezing to death.”

“You won’t even acknowledge me every time you come back from a hunt and you just told that guy that I was no one. Those were the exact words you used.”

“I ditched the very peaceful and stable life that I had because I wanted to help you. I have done nothing but be loyal to you for the past few months, doing everything you ask me to, yet here I am begging for footnotes in the story of your life.”

You are too close to him, almost pressed against his chest. He steps past you, brushing against your shoulder, leaning over the cockpit’s panel, his hands supporting him. He answers, with his back facing you, like he always seems to do these days.

“If it was so peaceful, maybe you should go back to it, because obviously you weren’t cut for this life.”

“What, I wasn’t cut for The Way?” you walk in his direction, blood boiling and fists curled by your side.

“Exactly.”

“Fine, maybe I’ll go.” And in that moment you could almost swear his face dropped, even if you couldn’t see it. Taking advantage of the moment you step in his direction, tilting your head up, summoning all your strength “But first tell me it’s all in my head.”

“What?” he is caught off guard, turning to face you.

“Tell me that you haven’t stared more than a couple of times. That your heart didn’t drop to the bottom of your stomach when I almost drowned in the Mamacore cage. Tell me that you don’t need my help and that I mean nothing to you. Tell me that I am taking up too much of your space or time.”

“You can’t know if I stare at you.” Really? That’s the one thing he chose to answer?

“That I can.” you straighten your back, trying to look taller.

“How would you know?” comes the distorted voice through the helmet speakers.

“The same way that you don’t need to have eyes in the back of your head to know when someone is coming at you with a sword or pointing a gun at your head.”

He is silent but you can hear his breathing through the helmet - how it’s slightly accelerated.

“Din.”

“What was that?” you furrow your eyebrows, thinking that he only uttered a random sound.

“Din Djarin. That’s my name.” You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. He finally told you. It took almost a whole bloody year but he told you. He trusts you that much.

“Din and in D-i-n or Dean as in D-e-a-n?” you genuinely ask, walking over to the control table leaning your lower back against it. Din mimics your action, turning around and leaning himself against it, next to you.

“I just revealed to you a piece of information that I have never told anyone and you’re worried about the spelling.” he scoffs crossing his arms.

“I’d like to know what name will be written on my death certificate if I ever get killed because of you.”

He laughs. He actually laughs. Suddenly the heavy and tense atmosphere that was being held between the both of you dissipates as you both relax.

“You have quite the sense of humor.”

“And it only took you 7 months to find that out AND tell me your name.”

Then, silence again. But this time it isn’t uncomfortable. Not like the one there normally is. It’s as if you’ve quite literally cleaned the air. It is now comfortable to just be in his presence, nothing else. Not like it wasn’t before, don’t get me wrong, but you always needed something else, something more. But now? You were content.

“Sorry about what I said earlier, the you’re no one part.”

You smile up at him “It’s okay.”

“No it’s not, you said it yourself, I was an asshole.”

“No I shouldn’t have --” he cuts you off.

“You should. You are right. I just...” “The real reason why I dismiss you so much is because I am scared.” Now that catches you off guard.

“Scared of what? Of me? Because trust me you have fought with creatures much more --”

“No, I am scared that if I let you in, I’ll end up going the wrong way. I’m scared that if I let myself look at you when I want to or if I let myself give in to how much I want to come back to you at the end of every day that I’ll end up destroying all this discipline that I’ve insisted on myself all these years.”

Wow. You have to steady yourself with your hands with this information that just hit you right in the chest. “If I let myself give in to how much I want to come back to you at the end of every day” those words echo in your head and make your heart beat faster. Does he really feel that way about you?

But you decide with your better judgment not to push that particular point as the simple fact of him revealing the tiniest bit of his true feeling has already pushed him much farther than what he was willing to.

“I never asked you to take off your helmet.”

And little do you know that maybe you two are more similar than what meets the eye as now it’s his time to think Really? That’s the one thing she chose to answer?

“I know. And you’re the first person to not ask me that.” he says.

“Because I respect you. And I know how much it means to you, to keep your principles.”

“Is that all it is? Respect?” his heart is beating so fast and his body heat as come way up that the canvas and beskar around his body suddenly feel too itchy and warm.

You decide against your better judgment and toy with the idea.

“Why, did you expect anything else?”

“What- no no I didn’t ---” he stumbles over his own words, trying to still seem like the bigger person, but you cut him off.

“Din.”

“Hunh?” his helmet snaps in your direction and, maybe you are seeing things, but you can almost swear that you can see a pair of worried eyes through the black visor.

“I like you too.” and just like that the galaxy stopped. He almost forgot how to breathe weren’t it for your own alternated breathing that reminded him to allow that mechanism to happen again in himself. “And I’m willing to wait for whatever it is that you need to feel to be comfortable enough around me, and to let me in.”

There’s a sweet silence as you rest your warm hand on top of his leather-gloved one, your warmth passing through the fabric and he looks down at it in awe, his heart swelling like never before.

Suddenly you feel yourself being pushed in Dean’s direction from the opposite side from where he is leaning against the control board. You try to subtly resist it but the force gets too strong at once and you are plunged to his front. Thankfully he is quick enough to catch you and press you flush against his chest.

Both of your breathings are extremely accelerated and your heart is pumping in your your ears with the sudden movement. You can feel his gloved hands on the lower of your back. Then, you both slowly look to the side, to the sound of a coo only to find the kid, on the ground in front of you both, little hand outstretched.

“That little shit.” exhales Din.

You get your hand up and swiftly smack the back of his helmet.

“A little respect, that’s your son.”