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#Anon Harem
ivyprism · 9 months
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avocado-writing · 23 days
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7 anon here! Could I request headcanons for Astarion, Gale, Wyll, Halsin, Haarlep, Dammon, Rolan, and Zevlor react to gn s/o trying to comfort them awkwardly? Like asking if they should stay with them & leave to give space? If they should talk, just listen, or keep quiet?
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Astarion
Oh, you are just as awkward as he is, and he loves it.
It’s so endearing, the way you try to pick the right words and keep failing. It’s a bit entertaining to see you squirm.
But you’re trying and it’s more than anyone has ever done for him before, honestly.
He wraps you in his arms and holds you close. Whispers in your ear a thank-you for caring. Feels his soul soften when you tell him he’s worth the world to you.
Gale
He’s exceptionally erudite most of the time, and so are you - that is why he’s so taken aback when you struggle for words.
You search the rich well of your eloquence for something to say and come up short. Instead you just pat him on the shoulder… and he bursts out laughing.
He apologises; he didn’t mean to be unkind, he just wasn’t expecting that reaction. In fact it’s enough to lift the mood and get him smiling again.
Wyll
Sees that you’re struggling with the best way to offer comfort, and instead just reaches out to take your hand.
He presses his lips to your knuckles so that you can feel when he talks.
“Knowing that you are here is enough to help, my heart.”
He feels you relax, letting go of the worry while stepping into his arms.
Halsin
You try to make awkward, comforting smalltalk with him, but a heavy hand on your knee silences you.
“It is enough that you are with me. Let us just… be together.”
So you are, sitting quietly side by side, enjoying the view of the flowers he’s sought out.
The simple act of you being next to him is a salve to his hurt.
Haarlep
The incubus is prone to flights of fancy. Melodrama comes with the territory. You’re lucky that, when he’s upset, it isn’t for long.
It’s so obvious how awkward you are. He laughs in your face at it. When you harrumph he turns playful again, wrapping you in his arms and tail and pressing his face into you.
“Oh, darling, I was only playing. Come now, let’s stop being sad and move onto better things…”
Dammon
Really tries to not show how upset he is in front of you, ever.
Prides himself on being strong! It wouldn’t do for you to see him crack and falter.
He can see what anguish you’re in trying to comfort him and never quite finding the right words. It makes him feel better, somehow? Like you should both be more open to showing these parts of yourselves.
The sincerity behind your awkward affection is enough to make him joyful again.
Rolan
Is probably a little gremlin about it, let’s be honest.
“I thought the hero of Baldur’s Gate was meant to be good at these sorts of things…”
”Well I thought the wizard of this tower would be adroit at social situations, but clearly I was a fool…!”
And then you’re back to bickering. It’s nice. It’s familiar. And you’re both happy.
Zevlor
It pains him to see you so uncomfortable.
He takes you in his arms, holds you close. Face pressed into the crook of your shoulder.
“My love, you should be the one leaning on me. I’m sorry to make you fret.”
You reassure him he has no reason to apologise to you, and just hold him until things feel better - which, eventually, they do. Your hug is a cure.
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obsessivevoidkitten · 8 months
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Just how rough are the farm animals willing to get? Before and after finding out reader likes rough stuff
It depends on the animal men. Centaur and bull-men are NOT willing to be very rough, not with actual penetrative fucking. They will be rough with everything else though if the reader enjoys it. Or if the reader needs to be punished. Rough biting, fingering, tying reader up, pinning reader down. Just not the actual fucking. They don't want to permanently injure their tiny human, these are big men. The dog men are willing to be rough regardless of whether the reader wants, especially it if the reader angers them. I feel like the cat men are not too rough unless they feel jealous or slighted. Like if the reader seemed to like the other animal men more than them they would get angry and dick reader down and bite and mark reader a lot more than normal. And I am not sure about the harpy men. Sorry I didn't do a before or after, that sounded like a lot more effort given how many animal men there are on this farm.
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thatdeadaquarius · 11 months
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PART 2 - Genshin Impact SAGAU / Isekai: Gifts to Give Your Allogene!
ELEMENTS HERE: Dendro, Hydro, Cryo, Geo
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Part 1 / Part 2 (you're here!)
Sun: Gender Neutral Reader (they/them only)
Planet: General SAGAU / Isekai Stuff, Platonic Cuteness
Orbit: Headcanons-ish, a couple sentences for each
Stars: a little bit of everybody as of Baizhu/Kaveh update! including rare beloveds like Aloy! (I hope I got them all… at least the playable ones… ) Please understand that some characters are more “foreground” characters and have more screen time so I may have written some more for them because I knew them better!
Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: weapons for gifts?? 16+ Older Teen Audiences Advised, light cussing
& Trigger Warnings: None Known.
Edit 1/1/24: Hey I expanded on this in my Eldritch Fanfic Post Part 2, but I just wanted to vet the old posts and say I did do a form of exoticism by including the word "Huangdi" throughout this.
I've since replaced it for better readability with "Emperor" but I didn't want to erase my mistake like it never happened. I'm genuinely sorry about this, I never had ill intentions by including it, but regadless of intentions that's the impact of my actions. I'm absolutely going to be looking out for kind of thing in the future/get a sensitivity reader/a beta read from that culture to check me.
I hope you still enjoy my writing and can understand.
Dendro Allogenes:
Tighnari = with some help again to put magic into it, you give Tighnari some head coverings you sewed together that have the power of Cryo in them! So now he can actually see what plants are out in the desert, visit Cyno, or just enter the desert to his heart’s content, which, yes, his tail started unconsciously wagging after you explained what it was. “Oh! For me? Well I’ve taken to avoiding the desert if I can because of… wait a minute, you say it has cryo in it? What? How does that work?? You think it’ll genuinely help me in the desert?? You made it???” Tighnari’s ears are all twitching with excitement, and he’s holding the covering (that matches his clothes/dark green) like it’s a new plant for study, omg he pulled out his magnifying glass and everything-
Collei = so she’s actually a really good seamstress, and makes plushies a lot, esp for kids! but one day you found one of her first attempts, a ragged looking sort of pale pink bunny… her first attempt at a plushie Baron Bunny!! so you decided to mimic her design (still baron bunny but with a sort of Sumeru-like clothing on it), and sew her one! You made a whole day of it, eating together, going to the best spots to sightsee (for as long as Collei was up for it/not too tired) and then gifted her the plushie Baron Bunny! She accidentally let out a small scream that startled both of you tbh, and then snatched that shit so quick lmao, kicking her feet on the picnic blanket and everything! With your permission of course, Collei then tackled you for a hug lol, she ranted about all the little details and made you tell her several times over how you made it so she could make some more in the future too! She may or may not have talked about missing Amber and teared up… but then you redirected her attention to the bunny saying, it’s like a gift from Amber and you really! (you also added a function where, if you squeeze the Baron, it’ll dish out some healing power and some heat! …Collei tackle hugged you twice for that one)
Alhaitham = what a hard person to get gifts for, he’d probably be like “thanks” no matter what you got him 😭, he means it tho, it would just be underwhelming… but on the bright side, he definitely seems like he’d show a deeper appreciation for handmade gifts! Since you learned how to make one for Yoimiya, you decide this calls for another handmade hammock (also bc Teyvat doesnt have hammocks)! You painted symbols like green crystals and geometric patterns, but also lions and a golden Palace of Alcazarzaray for Kaveh, and your symbol, the eight point star (like the four point but with flare/not like the jewish symbol with equal points lol)!! So that way he can keep lazing away, and avoid people more comfortably lmao, and also if he is going to do that, he doesnt have to sit on rocks or hard structures for hours reading, and you hope it’s encouragement for him to spend time outside/take a break and nap! (Haitham knows that’s part of why you gave him this, even if you didn’t say it, and so he makes a point to do that more often to make you happy, take the advice for his health) oh look, after thoroughly looking at your craftsmanship for 10 minutes, you got a smile in addition to a “thanks”, damn, that’s actually how you know he likes it a lot <3 :)
Nahida = you remember vaguely from Nahida’s storylines/friendship levels that she loves games, and so you collect her a nice deck for Genius Invokation TCG! You also made her a cute bag and container for it, her bag is a rose maple moth crocheted bc really this was an excuse to just make the cutest character in Sumeru look even cuter, (like this, i tried very hard ok, bc this doesnt exist yet, im shocked) The first image is most correct, (imagine the face and stuff is cuter/simpler) as that’s also the backpack part! Her eyes were so big when you handed it to her, (you honestly were shocked they even could get any bigger lol). She jumped up and down excitedly with the backpack on (ur fucking heart, just like you intended, the wings flapped around and everything <333) you are also currently working on a luna moth (the pale green moth) in case she wants it to match her outfit more! even tho Nahida insists something handmade once is enough, you can see the childish yearning in her eyes, like a kid trying to say no to a toy that’s being offered right in front of them lmao
Kaveh = pretty girls deserve pretty things, and you were definitely feeling the pressure to make something high quality enough for Kaveh, tho u know he’s sweet enough that he’d appreciate anything you’d take the time to handmake (and tbh.. it sounds a little arrogant, but ur hoping something so cared for by what he, or at least most people see as some kind of all-powerful god above the archons, will boost his self-esteem/confidence in his own worth more, or at least let him know one more person cares about him…) so you didnt make it super detailed, and you put a note on it too to let him know your not as great at that as he would be, but you made a model of the part of the teapot house you’re going to design for him! Like a sort of sneakpeak, you made a small lookalike of Alhaitham and his house, but filled it with decor like if Howl didnt hoard all the cool shit in his room in Howl’s Moving Castle, but instead spread it out, and sort of used your modern taste for layout, (not the ugly ass corporate aesthetic) and a small garden. You also made nearly all the decor and stuff something interesting (like some primogem strings, they can be pretty small, for string lights, lampgrass from Mondstadt that he’s never seen etc.) and while you very shyly handed him the model at first, he was practically vibrating with excitement!! “You made this?! Oh of course I don’t expect perfection, it looks wonderful so far, especially if this was your first attempt!!” Kaveh has like sat down, and is delicately holding it and looking around, and when you tell him it’s an actual space, meant for him, he gently sets down the model and grabs you by the shoulders, “Show. Me. Now. …please?” looking at you with very determined puppy dog eyes lol
Yaoyao = …idk what you expected. It was so obvious. A crocheted bunny backpack. brown, so it matches her, since her basket was brown, or you could leave off the feet, whichever u prefer, and anyway, Yaoyao is always doing things for others, so the little girl was so cute and pink when you actually gave her something instead! (once again, using ur old trick of making the person think u need something then shocking them with a handmade gift instead hehe) She IMMEDIATELY switched it out for her basket and has pretty much converted to using it full time! (tho when she needs the more solid one she’ll still wear it, she just alternates, esp if there’s some occasion she’ll deffo wear the bunny backpack, it’s her “fancy god-made bunny backpack!”)
Baizhu = the doctor isn’t one to talk about himself a lot, so you weren’t sure what he would like other than some new tea… but you wanted to make it yourself so while you were a little disappointed it was just a basic pet gift, you wanted to maybe put a little extra into it so maybe Changsheng will use it and Baizhu will think it’s cute! You crocheted a little pet pod/cave for her to hang out in (imagine this but a Jueyun Chili hehe) and it also has a little crocheted vine rope so the little Jueyun Chili cave can be hung from things, or even tied onto Baizhu’s apron/hold it like a purse! That way Changsheng doesn’t always have to drape across his shoulders/has somewhere to retreat! When you shyly showed Baizhu and Changsheng, he literally clapped, so did Qiqi lol (he usually does those tiny smiles… but this one was the brightest most genuine you’ve ever seen, even in game…!!) You find that Baizhu’s eyes look like that type of person’s eyes were they just look like “happy”, like there’s a little fond sparkle in his eye. Changsheng was all like “about time I got something instead of him! I’m basically an assistant too y’know! …thank you very much, my Emperor.” (if you’re NOT squimish of snake pics, pls look at this cute smile Changsheng would give)
Hydro Allogenes:
Barbara = …so even Barbara was a little hesitant at first, but came around to the idea after some convincing, and some encouragement (and showing her she was capable of it) but you basically ….may ….or may not have… found a loop hole for her being a catalyst? So, thru a lot of persuading Barbara to train with you and Childe (who also thought it was amusing to see such a young girl who’s literally a nun and a singer do this) you got Barbara to make water bombs! Like her circle of notes that float around her when healing, she sings and gestures and similar to her ult, (but like Childe’s E-skill it just switches between the two), the notes fly out and explode in the direction she sings/aims! You wanted to remind her of her old dream of being recognized, and wanting to help in battle in a more combat way, and besides, you’re sick of women getting regulated to the healing magical role in games/anime fantasy, so yeah. You and Childe are literally evilly giggling to each other in the background as Barbara sends quater notes and lines of music that explode (like how water can sharpen and cut things like Childe’s blades? Yeah he taught her that) so intensely that it cuts into the Pyro Lawlachurl, bringing it to its knees- Barbara accidentally cuts its head off as the finishing blow. While she gasps in a little fear, but mostly shock, Childe jumps up and down and starts cheering.
Mona = got sparkly eyes, nearly snatched the gift out of your hand, you made her some awesome earrings from the character banner wishes! All pretty ombre pink and blue they swirl and look so pretty framing Mona’s face, she only wears them on special occasions despite your claim of everyday use, they also help her figure out where the clearest view of the night sky each night but glowing brighter and brighter when she gets closer to seeing clearly, Mona is almost? weirdly envious?? for her past self that had to suffer thru all the inconvenient cloudy nights lmao
Childe = like anon said, a new pair of knit gloves, using the fur from the snow king boar! he’s amazed they never wear out now, and he totally uses them as an excuse to hold your hands all like “I just can’t get over how soft they are, feel them, you did amazing comrade! even better than some Snezhnayan shops!!”, exactly what you expect he’s leaning into your face and everything- 🙄
Xingqiu = an ao3 account you had a hard time with Xingqiu’s, afterall, he’s from a wealthier family, so he can get mostly what he wants, and you don’t wanna just get him another book… so you kidnapped him to Inazuma! (idk if this is canon, or happened in an event or smth I missed idfc) So, you also kidnapped Albedo for this trip, so that Xingqiu could actually see the impact his writing made overseas! While you intended for this trip to make Xingqiu feel better abt his writing, (and to help Albedo feel appreciated too, despite him not expressing much low self-esteem in his art, compliments heaped upon him def cant hurt, plus u can see him go pink too hehe) you also wanted to surprise him with a author book signing! If he was up for it, of course, which he “I absolutely, definitely, certainly am, my liege!” Kid’s practically hopping in place, as you get him all ready for his book signing (and not rlly Albedo bc he’s always fucking perfect, u dont have to do shit, even his messy hair looks nice 💀) …you also may or may not have given him some hair decorations (to help his asymmetrical cutting, not that it looks super bad, but for a change at least)
Yelan = …it’s official. You are intimidated. It’s only pretty hydro women and Ayato from here on, on your “Gift List”. Needless to say, like a few other allogenes, you wouldn’t know shit about this woman if you didn’t read her lore… it’s not a fine replacement, you don’t think, but with (lots of almond tofu, and osmanthus wine too) dev access to help you, you created another bracelet for Yelan. Inscribed (just like the heirlooms) inside simply says “You Are Not Alone”, with your eight star symbol following after (like a four star but with some flare, and also not the Jewish star lol), it glows an otherwordly gold, a contrast to the bright blues of the other bracelet. Its function is a geo shield, to protect Yelan and any teammates nearby when it’s activated, she can also leave the shielded area in one spot, so she can do her e-skill and still protect people. You’d just casually asked her to meet up with you one day in that teahouse you know she runs for intel, and when you presented her the bracelet, she held it delicately, saying nothing as she examined it, reading the inside. A small smile tugged her lips up, and she slips it on as she sips her tea, “…Well, I’ll have to show this to present this one to the family shrine, I think this more than makes up for the heirloom I failed to keep. A replacement from the Guide of Teyvat themselves… Thank you, my Emperor, for this handwrought gift you bestow upon a mortal such as me. …and thank you, for not leaving me alone.” Yelan bows a little in her seat, sharp blue eyes more softened than you’ve ever seen her, trained on yours. Her hands are together in that same praying motion that gives you the weirdest sense of deja vu…
Kokomi = so you don’t know much about her, as the it seems the character lore for Kokomi you can remember was… lacking, to say the least. Hoyo definitely plays favorites, BUT YOU DON’T!! At least when it comes to gift givining so everyone feels appreciated, you got a pretty book (handmade or bought) and got it/made it kinda small, like the size of the book in her idle animation, bc turns out that’s her diary of sorts. You know the priestess feels if she expresses any opinions that her people will just take her side, or her word as… well, a divine priestess, the weight of her title you suppose. She also keeps track of how many spoons she has! Like what things drain her, and what things make her feel better (big social interactions vs. reading a war treaty book by herself for example) So you made her a bullet journal! (here’s one of my favorite bullet journal youtubers, here’s a flipthru of her completed journal) you didn’t fill out the whole thing, just some example pages, to show her the possibilites! …you were kinda worried bc she turned away at first after delicately accepting it, and since it was just you two, she allowed herself turn back around and start excitedly chatting your ear off as she leaned in- and wow. Kokomi’s eyes really are, dreamy, like cotton candy… and they’re so much prettier when she smiles…
Ayato = …you know exactly what to do. Interrupting his busy schedule (and only actually taking one day out of it actually bother him so he can have the others as a secret vacation hehe) to come over to the Kamisato household and homemake some boba drinks for him, Ayaka, and Thoma to try! Mostly Ayato tho, you got all the syrups, the milks teas, the boba, and luckily, were able to get some help from Xiangling in experimenting in making… popping pearls! (they’re edible boba pearls that are actually filled with juice/syrup flavors and burst on your tounge when you barely bite them! they’ve very sweet, and Inazuma definitely didn’t have any different pearls other than tapioca, those squishy black pearls you see in his regular boba tea) …Ayato is literally holding your hand like he’s about to drop to one knee, this man is down bad for boba (and you) and… are those tears?! Is he tearing up?! “I can’t believe… THE Akitsu Mikami… blessed me, personally, with boba?? With NEW boba teas and pearls I’ve never even seen?! …Thank you, my beloved emperor!” Mans has quite literally gotten on his knees, but bc he’s so tall, he can still comfortably hold both your hands in his bigger gloved ones …Thoma is desperately trying to get Ayato up, Ayaka is getting onto her brother in the background.
Candace = it’s not exactly a traditional gift… but the reason Candace doesn’t wear a lot of her jewelry or finery is because of the hard job she has as a Guardian/in the desert, so you figured giving her more things she can’t even really wear wasn’t the way to go.. So instead! You gather a journal or advice from Ningguang, Keqing, Yelan, Zhongli, and all the others in the Qixing who were willing to help you, and kidnapped Ganyu for a sight seeing trip! (since u and Ganyu has that whole “in between two very different worlds” bond) You brought Ganyu because you know if anybody would be good at managing something/getting it started (like the music fest back for Lantern Rite… that I missed bc I dont understand how lantern rite works 😭😭😭 VIOLENTLY SOBS ITS BEEN 2 YEARS AND I HAVENT GOTTEN A SINGLE LANTERN RITE U GUYS-) it would be Ganyu herself! …and to also give her a break. See Aaru Village suffered from little to no economy before Candace finally negoiated with the elders to let Sumeru merchants travel into town/buy from them/sell to them, but she’s had a rough time keeping the old coots from being dicks about it since, …and it’s also hard to convince the younger generations to come back after many wanted to see the outside world because of this… So what better what to solve two birds with one stone?? GANYU!! And all the economy and business advice you could gather form Liyue! You hope that the village flourishing (and helping Candace cut down on shady merchants) would impress the older generation, yet also get more money in the town so they can dress it up a bit more (like fixing unsteady bridges, also u kidnapped Kaveh to help revitalize their cultural architecture buildings back into life/or help make the simple buildings just prettier) Now Ganyu and her are besties (Candace rlly needed another friend besides just Dehya alone to come out and see her in the desert) and the adepti was very willing to come visit her and Aaru Village to help the economy maintain its footing/run smoothly, and Kaveh also comes and works on it/checks on her/the village! …When you initially showed all the plans to Candace, saying it’ll impress the old by bringing back old designs/architecture plus interest/satisfy the younger generations to know their hometown is advancing and make it more appealing to come back to… The Guardian puts her shield and spear off to the side, she lowers her head, and greets you, bc u kinda just started rambling without saying hello- whoops- , “Salaam aleikum Qore, **I have already become the first Guardian to have been blessed by the gods, to receive this Vision was the only aid I could turn to in trying to help my village, my community… but to be blessed once more? I would never have dared to dream, let alone the Ogdoad Qore… I am grateful on behalf of myself, my village, and all of King Deshret’s people. …truly, I did not expect a gods eyes to turn favorably upon us since my ancestors’ time. Thank you, my Qore.” You just give her a smile back, she taught you the return phrase, so you hope it’s appropiate, “Waaleikum us salam.” :)
Nilou = This woman is consumed by dancing, other than keeping the peace (well, within reason apparently bc she’s okay with a coup-) but you’ve heard how hard it can be on dancers, how plenty of them have to have strong muscles to perform consistently. So, using adepti magic, you’ve enchanted this minakari you’ve painted (a type of metalwork that’s then painted by artists, on Earth countries like Iran, India, Afghanistan, Pakistan make them) like the teapot! It’s a small island that has a dance studio, and more importantly, a spa with hot springs, a sauna, and a room full of medical supplies dancers would need like salves, heating/cooling pads (using pyro/cryo), and space for stretches! Overall, just a place for her to get away from all the people and to heal her body up for the next performance, and after getting it all prepped/packed up with supplies, and showing it to Nilou… she literally had her hands over her mouth the whole walk around the rooms and showing her everything. Nilou had already been shocked you’d painted her a minakari piece, let alone all this! Like some others, she was quick to drop the formalities, and before you could even say “I hope you like it!” she was wrapping her arms around you and squeezing as tight as she could, tearing up and saying how happy she was that someone understood how hard dance can be on the body and how hard it can also be to take care of yourself, and how she can’t possibly show her gratitude- wait a minute. She’s pulled back and gripping you by the shoulders, not even bothering to wipe her eyes, before she swears to give you a dance every year with all the culmination of her work as she learns and makes newer and better dances!! <3
Cryo Allogenes:
Kaeya = horses so he’s actually a calvary captain- you actually wanted something that’d emphasize the handmade part of the gift, to really let Kaeya know somebody out there really cares about him, cares about him in the way that they’ll sit down and think of an idea and think of him, and then work for hours, sewing, drawing, crafting something just for him, to happy about. You make him a small, pocket sized photobook, and have a picture of every person who cares about him in all the slots, and near the end, from his last birthday where you gathered everybody together to celebrate, is a photo of Jean, Klee, Albedo, Sucrose, Venti, Rosaria, Noelle, Amber, even Eula, Diona, Mika, Barbara, and Mona came! But most importantly, you got Diluc to host it at Angel’s Share, and after some convincing, got him to get in the picture, you’re slightly off center, sandwiched by Kaeya and Diluc, where Kaeya is mid-laugh at the center, having just seen Diluc’s embarrassed face. It’s the last one in the mini album, and each photo has an even small message at the bottom, giving Kaeya a message from everybody, just for him. At the very end, with the group photo just before, is one of yourself and him posing together, you having taken him out roaming Mondstadt for the perfect picnic spot, just to give an excuse why you wanted a picture with him. And at the time, he found it a little suspicious, but was just flustered enough he let it slide. But now, opening and unfolding this tiny album, full of smiling friends and caring words, Kaeya gives a small, watery chuckle, you’ve left him a message too. “Take care of yourself Kaeya, because someone out there really cares about you. :) “
Rosaria = After seeing her “nun” outfit, there’s no doubt in your mind that Rosaria is yearning for clothes closer to her preferred aesthetic. So, using your knowledge of punk clothes and modern goth religious aesthetics, you’ve made some pieces for her to try! Some black pumps with metal crosses for heels, yes they’re sharp and this nice shawl with beads, and finally, a nice lacy skirt (no you did not make fucking lace, jesus christ, you’re not a miracle worker, despite the belief of some teyvatians-). All of which, wow, got Rosaria to give you an honest to god… smile. A full, genuine smile from Rosaria… yeah that made all your hard work worth it.
Eula = a book on common manners so Eula is actually great at cooking! So what better chaos to gift to her other than introducing her to Xiangling! Especially since you’ve given the young Liyuean cook recipes from your own world for her to try out, she’s been on a rampage of new things, and so what better new experience than a cook from an entirely different country? You also made a small book of recipes (look up how to make a zine book on youtube it’s actually kinda easy) from your world, different from Xiangling’s because you thought Eula would like different recipes than her. …So needless to say you were then being berated by two chefs for not sharing all the recipes lmao, tho that really just gave them reason to share recipes! Also any new spinoffs Xiangling’s already made from the initial ones you gave her, and now Eula not only graciously thanks you for the recipes, but also her new pen pal! :)
Diona = So, to prep for this gift, you forced converted the Cat’s Tail to a non-alcoholic cat cafe during the daytime, and only in the evenings do they start serving alcohol/cats put up. You also got onto Margaret for hiring a child to make alcohol, so instead have Diona work better hours, and only during the cafe time, so she’s not making alcoholic drinks either. (you also checked in on child labor laws in Mondstadt, and ran some paperwork by Jean just in case) But most importantly, you teach Diona all kinds of new drink recipes to make, like Shirley Temples, smoothies, etc. You even (once again, by getting help from Xiangling and Diluc) made a drink for hangovers, but more importantly, helped her make one called “Sober Up” which magically flushes out the alcohol out of someone’s body, so Diona can finally sneak people a drink that (while still cursed to be well-made since Diona made it) is a trip to drink lol, it’s like a blast of carbonation/electricity to the system and will typically make most people very nauseous (but since magic’s doing it, they dont need to throw up, they’re just sick feeling for an hour depending on how much they drank). Diona nearly cried after she saw the effect on hungover customers, and immediately started sneaking them into her father’s drinks, so now he’s leaning more toward sobriety most days, and after finding out what Diona did, started to talk to his daughter more. The next time you see her, and ask after her father, she just wraps her little arms around your waist, the highest she can reach, you hug her back.
Chongyun = for prep for this gift, you painstakingly, slowly convince Chongyun to accept more and more moments of warmth, like trying some spicy food that’s gone cold, but just away from people so he can be silly out in the Liyuean mountains instead, and to try and use exposure therapy to try and get him used to yin energy/warm/excitable things, rather than the inefficient method of just avoiding it all (as it doesn’t always work/deprives him of so many nice things!! >:[ ). So that way! You can finally! Take him to have fun!!! You haul him (and Xingqiu bc the more the merrier) to go swimming in Luhua Pools, go jumping off all the peaks from one to another paragliding, using cryo to surf down waterfalls, and most importantly, go to a hot springs at the end of the day! Chongyun was worried about them being too hot and activating his yang energy, but you all agreed he had been training to get used to it, so now he when he goes to try it, he just relaxes into the heat. He could feel the tug to get out and run in circles and get excited, but finally, Chongyun could just choose to sit and relax into the warmth with friends instead :)
Ganyu = if I had a nickel for every woman In teyvat who just needs a break I’d be fucking rich …Obviously, a day off. But an ACTUAL day off, with work regulated to others, and unless there’s an Osial level incident 2.0 (fuck his wife, you put Shenhe on duty to protect Liyue just in case) NO ONE. IS. TO. DISTURB. GANYU’S. FIRST. VACATION. IN. DECADES. You get her to show you the prettiest viewing spots in Liyue, and as you go, tell stories from your life on Earth, showing her pictures on your phone (from both the internet and ur photos), to show her how mortal you are on one hand, but then how different you are here, upgrading her weapons and artifacts, and most importantly, her gift, a Teyvat modified cellphone! Albedo and you had been working together for months to try and make something close enough to connect ur two worlds, while introducing him to adeptal magic and other powerful objects like primogems and wishes that you have to help power it, that way the only other person who might understand immediately how it feels to be (literally lol) caught between two worlds can always rely on each other! …Ganyu cried. Yep, tears down her cheeks and everything, “…I- I- don’t even- even know what to say? All this, telling me about your mortal world, helping me get stronger, and now- now this? I may not have much to give in return, other than my company and my bow… but should you ever need me, or even wish for me, I will hold you as steady as I hold together Liyue itself, my Emperor." Ganyu’s smile is so, so, so pretty, and all the prettier now that her soft blue hair and sweet eyes are framed by the sunset, like it’s her own gift back to you.
Qiqi = A backpack for herbs! You’ve made sure to stitch her name into it so in case she forgets it’s hers, she’ll just see her name again, and lots of little pockets so she can carry all the herbs/make deliveries, it looks a little like this but with a goat instead of cow, and some cocouts lmao, literally a “coco-goat” milk backpack! She is now the cutest person in Liyue, everyone agrees, nearly every single person who comes into Bubu Pharmacy gives Qiqi a compliment now, and Baizhu will periodically take a break just so he and Changsheng can coo at her lmao (Qiqi made sure she wrote down in her notebook in big letters next to your name “This person made my cocogoat backpack, remember to thank them during prayer times, and collect lots of fresh herbs for them”)
Shenhe = It’s kind of a lot, but really, at this point, you’ve done more for some of the others so this probably isn’t even scratching the surface of how big of a gift you can give, so why not. Going full steam ahead, you furnish her a house at the edge of town, so that she’s not overwhelmed by all the human traffic/people, but still close enough to make the friends she wants! When you first show her the dining/living room so plenty of guests can come over, and begin to tour her through it, the strongest woman you’ve probably ever known gently holds your shoulders and stops you from speaking, and turns you to face her, Shenhe’s eyes are sharp with observation as they roam your face, and then settle on your own wide eyes. Her eyes soften, and a small smile warms her usual stern face, (idc how tall you are, she’s taller, I fucking promise) as she leans down a little to look at you closely in the eyes, “Thank you for being a kind god. You did not have to be so generous to me, and yet here you are. If you ever feel like you’re an outsider in Teyvat, in any country or company you find yourself in, please, promise me you’ll come here. Come home to me?” ✨💘✨
Ayaka = You manage to get her away from her duties to take her out to Sumeru! Mostly so you can introduce her to Nilou, see her performance, and the flourishing arts that now fill Sumeru City’s streets, and more importantly, a dress you made so she could dance with Nilou + dance on stage, she wasn’t confident enough/didn’t want to dance for a crowd, so it’s just you three or just you two after awhile. Ayaka looks the happiest she’s been in awhile, more so than you ever saw in game, and it’s… almost like a breath of fresh air to see her away from what you felt was such an isolating environment, even after the Vision Hunt Decree was over. For her last dance, Ayaka does so alone, a little after the sun has set, so it’s all blue, and the stars are coming out, finally, you get to see an even better version of the dance she gave the traveler that night. She only opens her eyes at the end, to give you the giddiest smile you’ve ever seen on her, cheeks cute and plumped up bc she’s smiling so hard, and bows to you (Ayaka’s thanked you a million times, but she doesn’t need to, you can feel how happy she is just from this)
Mika = THE BOY!! One of the most boys to ever boy in all of Teyvat!! Your boy!!! :D What a boy, he nearly fainted when you handed over his gift one day, and you had to reach out and steady him, then hand him it again 😭 It’s similar to the Marauder’s Map, since you enchanted it (once again, what’s the point of dev access if I can’t make gifts for my skrunklies?) and since you don’t want it to end up in bad hands/get spyed on, it only shows itself with a phrase as well “I wish upon a golden star, to know this land as well as its player.” and it’ll show him everyone in public spaces in Mondstadt, not private homes, but like the plaza, the church, the Knights of Favonius, etc. He thanks you every single time he sees you for the map, as it’s both fascinating to him to have a proper well-drawn map of the city of Mondstadt (you copied it from the Teyvat in game map, but there were some buildings missing bc they’re more real here/more fleshed out as a irl city) but that just made Mika even happier bc he can go and map them out!! Literally can’t talk to you bc all he’s saying is “T-TH-TH-THANK-THANK YOU ALL FURST-!!!” before running away most of the time lol
Layla = An embroidered tiny pillow for her to easily clip onto her bag/fit in it, and take on the go with her! (this but the text just says “Sweet Dreams Layla ♡” ) that you’ve also added scent to, including some sleep inducing magics, so she’s guarenteed to sleep well and efficiently when she uses it! She blushed so hard you thought she was sick at first when you gave it to her, and she also used the pillow as a shield to hide her face as she thanked you lmao, and she made you a pillow in return! …even if she thinks it’s not as good as yours, both craft wise and function, Layla worked for weeks on it! …lol now ur the one hiding ur face behind a pillow (this but they’re all plants of sumeru)
Aloy = …if you had a nickel for every person you’ve provided with a house, you’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird it happened twice… Poor damn heroine just got dragged from one world to the next, just as the last one finally was at peace, now she’s here in Teyvat, where nothing’s familiar, the entire world is set up different, people are nicer and more open here, and there’s still threats looming on its horizon. Needless to say, she is tired, and misses her own homeworld. You really wish on her behalf that Hoyo hadn’t done a crossover, but since she’s here, you figure you might as well make it easier on her. You’ve made another teapot-like adeptal magic container, so she can have a place all to herself, and given her a ticket to your own, afterall, if anybody knows what’s its like to get yanked to another world, specifically Teyvat, it’d be the travelers and yourself, and sure enough as time goes one, Aloy becomes closer with you all, and begins to finally feel a sense of familiarity, she wraps an arm around your shoulders the first time she saw you tried to make her own personal teapot place emulate her homeworld. The widest grin you’ve seen on her face, she gives you a squeeze, “It’s just been one adventure after the next, and when we started out, you were just another stranger in a world I didn't understand. But after everything we've been through, I can say this for certain: My bow is yours, now and always. Thank you for the second home, my king.” Aloy says teasingly, laughing at the face you make.
Geo Allogenes:
Noelle = goddamn when will the busy women trend END these poor souls Motherfucker, you’re gift to Noelle was to knight the damn girl yourself. No, but you nearly talked Jean’s ear off for an hour, after gathering evidence (both from eyewitnesses, and Noelle herself, including other knights and Jean herself) about why the literal fuck Noelle wasn’t a Knight of Favonius yet, and why she should be. After genuinely shaking Jean’s nerves a little, she agreed, and finally, Noelle was going to knighted along with any other potential recruits during the testing season, (as people with high reputations, which, once again, using your god status for all its worth, could recommend new recruits) but most importantly… You gave her a 5-star claymore, which, you do have to somewhat work on yourself physically in teyvat now, but your dev access lets you cheat a little (like the cooking meter on cooking dishes, you’re the goddamn cooking god when hosting guests hehe) so you also are allowed to edit it, like adding a Geo-bonus to the weapon itself! When the ceremony for knighthood was going, and pretty much all of Mondstadt came to finally see Noelle get knighted, you made a fun show of walking out where you were hiding and replacing Jean, to knight Noelle yourself. She’s gone completely red in the face, and is starting to sway a little in her down on one knee position, as you gently place the blade on both shoulders, and grin at her as you turn and pull out the claymore for her. She actually does end up falling over, pale as a ghost, whoops-
Albedo = internet access so he can become a fucking god basically the alchemist is a hard guy to make a gift for, another person you’re a little afraid high-quality handmade gifts would impress him more… so you worked hard, and eventually you managed to make three big notebooks for Albedo, one with lined paper, one bulleted, and one blank for sketches (you did the title page a decent sketch of his pretty face smiling and “For Albedo” underneath, and while that one had a picture, the other two had just the words) and you also loaned him your cellphone for awhile, and suggested the idea of a laptop to make for himself, as he already managed to get you connected to Earth’s internet again, that’s part of the reason you customized/made him notebooks, so he could research from the internet and write down any notes he wanted! …wow. you really did it. after explained all this, and leaving him notes about the laptop idea as loose paper stuck inside one of them, you managed… to get Albedo to… smile. At you. Like a FULL smile, pretty lips, wide smile, and flushed cheeks-!! Albedo caught the notebooks you almost dropped.
Ningguang = what do you get the woman that has everything? so you started to think of things that’d make an experience, and after remembering her lore about her making a chess game, you decided a board game would be good! And if you make the little pieces, it’d be one of a kind too! (she’s the type that really loves handmade gifts/as long as you put effort in it doesnt matter how “bad” it looks to her, she’ll believe it’s still good <3) …So you made a Teyvat version of Monopoly. You figured the business part would be in her realm of expertise, and maybe she could use it to play with business associates or friends, and of course, she’s a competitive woman, so she thinks it’s great, and even asked permission that a marketable version be made (one that’s not nearly as nice quality as hers from you obviously)! Ningguang also treated you very well as a thank you for making it for her, a nice dinner at Liuli Pavilion, with a useful gift of places you haven’t seen in Teyvat yet bc it’s more expansive now that you’re physically here!! You may have gotten over-excited about it… and she may have chuckled at you… and you may have gotten flustered after she rested her pretty hand on yours for nearly half the dinner as you stuttered thru and explanation of the game…
Zhongli = …what do you get the man that has everything (ningguang problem 2.0)?? Well, since you thought of something for her that was an experience a little bit, yet also one of a kind, you figured the same path for the previous God of Wealth/literally invented money/etc. would do, plus he’d the type to deeply appreciate handmade gifts too! Using a few chunks of Light Realm Core, 3 Masterless Starglitter, 1 Intertwined Fate, and 1 Condensed Resin, to make a nigh indestructible Ginko leaf hair pin, which also to replace his last pin, which while not broken, was getting old and beat up (he’s immortal he doesn’ notice these things unless they’re like magically long lasting items lol). But in a few spots are these peach beads like this instead of all white beads, like on the ring both have symbols of longevity, and are usally associated with immortals, you wanted to make something that’d also hold memories (hence the resin, from leylines) so if the erosion ever took him, Zhongli could hold the pin and see some of his favorite memories played back (like misty glittering gold projections)! When you told him all this, the materials, (he obv knew the symbols) and the intentions, and then handed him the gift, his soft smile got bigger and bigger, until you could see him small fangs (❤️‍🔥) and then he turned around? You were confused, until he look over his shoulder, his eyes flashing gold in the sunlight, “Will you do me the honor, my Emperor?” OH- you unclip his old geo cor lapis one, and pull his hair up into more of a low bun, and put the hair piece in. the golden ginko leaves chime softly in the breeze. The old god turns back to you (idc how tall you are, he’s taller, and he had to crouch a little so you could reach lol) and gives you that blinding, beautiful smile again, the kind that makes his eyes look warm and happy. He takes your hand delicately, like you’re made of something fragile instead of stars and magic stronger than any he’s ever seen, “Truly, you bless me too generously, my Emperor. Thank you, for caring for a forgotten god like me, for caring about my heart.” …Zhongli presses a soft chaste kiss to your knuckles, right on the middle finger’s knuckle, his lips are warm and so, so soft, like they’re barely even there. <3
Yunjin = a bit difficult because she’s so theater focused in life, but you figure since she does solo shows a lot, she’ll still be the one to benefit the most from your gift, you made some floating plaustrite lanterns to help heft some platforms for more stage space/cool effects! (this but a little more detail, you painted some bamboo and a few simple adepti on them) Like putting props up there or lights to aim on actors, or even actors themselves since the floating rock is steady enough! Yunjin practically squealed (which immediately made every actor in the vicintity be like “YUNJIN!! UR VOICE WILL GO HOARSE STOP-”) and gather the whole troupe to thank you! But she especially told you that although she already intended for you to have front row seats every time you came to see her plays, she especially wanted to get some stories from your life, or even just your favorites from Earth for her to perform for you!! (she even suggested that one of the platforms could be your special seat, like an opera box seat lol)
Itto = you know that belt buckle he wears that’s just an Oni head? Yeah, you made him a second belt but with a onikabuto beetle as the buckle instead! (kinda like this) but a small enough it’s not inconvenient and poking his stomach, which you definitely got a Inazuman blacksmith to help out, you mostly painted it, and when you show Itto the belt, mans literally just wraps his buff arms around you like a hug but then just starts spinning you rapidly, and lets out the highest pitch “EEEEEEEEEEE-!!!” you’ve ever heard him make (and you’ve given him a few trinkets before, so this is a new record wow). No, it doesn’t matter to Itto how much you weigh, have you seen his abs?! He says as he’s still got you a little off the ground, and is now walking away with your limp body and wearing his new belt, “This, and a proper meal to thank you are the bare minimum, my wonderful emperor! Come on, the gang’s already there anyway, you gotta try my Granny Oni’s food, and I’ll make something too! My best, most special, sandwich, Way of the Strong!! Y’know, because if anybody deserves it, it’d be the strongest, and sweetest, you!!”
Gorou = since teyvat isn’t exactly the pinnacle of advanced civilization, though there are some advancements sure like the Kamera, there are still a fair amount of things that’re just left up to locals to produce and make using whatever process they’ve got, regardless of efficiency, and one of those is soap. Yep, soap. Earth is more advanced when it comes to beauty products, but also hygiene products, and Gorou has a hard time maintaining his tail he’s said when he’s stressed/overworked. So, you used some knowledge from your interdimensional smartphone (love u Albedo) to find a homemade recipe to make soap! (…for dogs, but you don’t know if he’d find it offensive… so you don’t tell him LMAO) and you even made it a cute shape (just so when you handed it over, he’d open it and of course, go all red all the way down his neck even, hehe, (he secretly liked it)
You towards all of Teyvat, except it's not even their birthdays (idk if u want it to be it can)
PLEASE LET KNOW IF ANY LINKS/PICS ARE INACCURATE FOR A CULTURE/MISLABELED ETC.
Me after writing all this:  _」(´ཀ`」 ∠)__
… so I may have hyperfixated a little too hard on this one.
Did the OG asker want this? …probably not…
Did anyone ask for this?? …no.
…did I do it anyway….…yes.
…sorry?
(I promise I only thought to do this because there are so many characters left out in favor of the more popular ones for most SAGAU posts, and bc i never want any of my babes to feel any less loved than any others if I was actually there in Teyvat… you get… this mess.)
sorry!
Safe Travels,
💀♒
☆MY BELOVEDS☆
@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche
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avvail · 5 months
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no thoughts just thinking a villain/supervillain with a harem of hero thralls
The hero had to bite back a pained hiss on their tongue as they were shoved down to their knees.
Fingers twisted into their hair and yanked their head up, just for them to see the supervillain seated on the throne, the one creature that they, and many other people, had been rebelling against for months.
The vampire was donned in lavish robes, seated upon their throne with their thralls surrounding them, in a sight that made them sick.
The supervillain hadn’t even given them any attention, instead gorging on a bloody feast from one nestled in their lap, their eyes closed and their arms wrapped comfortably around their neck. Others were draped over them in various places, some at their side and some at their legs.
When the hero tried to look away, the fingers yanked on their hair, forcing them to watch.
“What now?” The supervillain grumbled, pulling his teeth away from the thralls neck, just to slide his fingers down anothers arm and bring their wrist up to their mouth instead. The hero watched those deadly teeth sink into delicate flesh, and they shuddered.
“The rebels,” a guard announced, giving the hero’s hair another obnoxious pull. “Found them along the southern river. We managed to catch this one.”
The hero felt sorry for them - the thralls used to be heroes, too, just like them. Now, as willingly and happy as they all looked to be given attention from such a creature, their master, they didn’t want to imagine the sorts of things they were made to do.
The supervillain tilted their head back, licking the blood off their lips as their intense eyes fell to the hero. They tried not to tense, but they felt their body betraying them regardless.
One thrall moved up to kiss the supervillains neck. Why did they have to be so indecently dressed?
It felt like the vampire was analysing every little bit of their body, and a part them even wondered if they could hear what they were thinking. A deep sigh fell from their lips, finger brushing through another thralls hair, whose head was draped along their thigh.
“Bathe them,” they spoke, their words almost hypnotic. “I’ll decide what to do later.”
The hero’s heart hammered. In relief, or fear? They didn’t know. They had thought the vampire would kill them immediately. As they were hoisted into their feet, the hero stubbornly grit their teeth, refusing to even make a noise.
Some thralls glanced over at them, their red eyes almost standing out in the shadows, but once showered with more attention, their eyes wavered and they tangled themselves back with their master.
They could feel the supervillain’s cold eyes following them as they were roughly escorted out, and hoped they didn’t suffer the same fate as the others.
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celaenaeiln · 6 months
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What do you think will happen if Batman!Bruce, Owlman!Thomas Wayne Jr and Batman!Thomas Wayne (are there other versions of Thomas Wayne aside just his civie? Similar to batman!Thomas?)
Bonus if the Dick Grayson is in one corner, along with Earth-3!Dick Grayson (and a version of Dick if Batman!Thomas or a version of TW has one) just watching
oh!!!
Of course Thomas Wayne has his very own Dick Grayson! It's canon for every batman to have a Dick Grayson! He actually dies to save his Dick which means a lot because Thomas Wayne!Batman is a cold, callous Batman who cares about nothing besides his own family.
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Convergence Issue #4
"Your Batman. He died protecting you. Or trying to. The bond between you and Bruce Wayne echoes in every reality."
-And that's coming from a multiuniversal artificially forged god.
But putting the three version of Batman in a room together? Chaos. Pure and absolute chaos. First between the three of them, Thomas Wayne Jr would immediately try to kill Bruce. No doubt it's kill at first sight and Bruce after the Forever Evil crisis would try to punch the life out of his alternate world brother. Now Thomas Sr actually gives a damn about his family so he would punch both of his sons and talk to them about how they're family without sounding lovey-dovey because he's a hardened old man.
About Dick though, Thomas Jr would never forgive Bruce. He would think Bruce doesn't appreciate Dick enough, and he's wasting Dick's talents. His heart would eat itself out with jealousy and hatred that Bruce's Dick is still alive and healthy but his gone. Bruce, who has nearly lost his son and was perfectly willing to let the world die if it meant getting Dick out of that death trap in forever evil, is not going to take such an insult lying down. He would boast about how Dick is the best person he knows and throw the fact that his Dick is still alive back into Owlman's face which would enrage him even more.
Thomas Sr is quietly watching all of this unfold, occasionally making derogatory comments about how his two sons should be working together, not breaking up the family for Grayson to which Thomas Jr would reply that he is perfectly willing to take his father's version of his counterpart off his hands. Now his father would be dragged fists first into the fight cause - hey. Dick's his family now too. And the man's possessive over his only remaining family.
The three Dicks are standing in the corner just watching all this play out. Bruce's would crack jokes and express concerns about everything that's happening while Owlman's would snort and make some demeaning comment. Probably towards Owlman depending on if he's been revived. Thomas Sr's is the oldest and would worry about how the heck this all happened and how his pair was going to get back and "hey, can I drive the Batmobile now?"
That question would set of a series of complaints from the other two and the Dicks would just bond over how terrible their Batman/Owlman is.
"Can you believe it? He told me I had to choose between him and the Titans!" and "You think that's bad?! Mine killed my parents to get to me!" and "Seriously? At least the worst mine did was tell me to sit down and not touch anything. Like I was some kind of sidekick. The nerve of that grumpy old man."
"Wait, yours too?!"
"Wait, yours too?!"
This whole thing becomes international news and then a crisis when Nighwing!Dick uploads a cute selfie of the three of them holding ice cream which people find cute and swoon over before they notice that in the background there's a blurred out version of two batmen? and a feathery guy? The media instantly picks up on it cause Nightwing posting anything is a Big Deal especially since he never posts stuff and because he's so popular. The hero community finds out and it's instant panic mode because Forever Evil pt.2?! The Batfamily and Titans are zipping back to Gotham faster than a speedster because WTF DICK? HELLO, TALON AND OWLMAN ALERT?! AND YOU DECIDED TO NOTIFY US THROUGH A SELFIE?
Bruce, Thomas Jr, and Thomas Sr are blissfully unaware of the avalanche of conspiracy theories, government actions, and the 50 different rescue ops by heroes that their counterparts have accidentally unleashed with their single internet selfie. They're too busy punching others' lights out while the people who started the international crisis peacefully enjoy their triple scoop chocolate chip, birthday cake, cookie dough ice cream with chocolate drizzle, extra sprinkles, and a cherry on top.
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aka-indulgence · 23 days
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What do you think about the bad Sanses? Do you have a particular favorite?
HUH
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Yer ain’t from around these parts, ain’tcha stranger
(for the second question if you don’t count Nightmare it’s probably Dust because my headcanon of regular ht!sans and badsans ht!sans is different)
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seakicker · 2 years
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War god Childe who knocks up sweet little fertility goddess reader over and over again because he’s so obsessed with how her cute little body looks while it’s all swollen and full in the best of ways <3 - 🍁
100% THIS. war archon childe rubbing your soft, pregnant belly with his broad hands that have centuries and centuries-worth of bruises and callouses gained from training and fighting. there’s nothing more endearing than the sight of his beloved round and swollen with his babies, is there? he’s an impossibly overprotective husband who genuinely would kill anyone who so much as looks at you for a little too long… when you’ve been around as long as he has and when you’ve killed as many as he has, one can’t afford to take any chances when it comes to their sweet little spouse. you’re for his eyes only 💕
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ozzgin · 15 days
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I love how you put the horse/unicorn in a pearl necklace and a wedding dress lol I can only imagine the hassel it was to do that like omg everyone trying to make the wedding day special and like 10+ wedding dress brides/wedding spouses trying to help the unicorn/horse as well as trying to keep the unicorn/horse from seeing the custom ordered barn that everyone helped pieces together for their newly odd spouse lol STOP OMG Y'ALL CAN NEVER SAY LETS GO FOR A RIDE WITH THEM WITHOUT IT SEEMING INSULTING TO STRANGERS OR SOMETHING smh strangers will never understand
Referencing this
It seems that MTV Cribs is still an ongoing thing. So picture it: special wedding episode. The venue is the mansion itself. Local man and the harem of brides and husbands.
The camera crew passes by one of the rooms. There's a faint hint of farm hay mixed in the strong Charlotte Tilbury's Flawless setting spray scent. They peek in, cameras pointed and set to record. A hoarse screech echoes across the grand halls. The MUA is kicked in the side by glossy, polished hooves (an outside camera later zooms in on her body, strapped onto a stretcher as the medical team rushes towards the ambulance).
"Is that a horse in a wedding dress", one of the crew blurts out, wriggling away from the scene in a panic.
"Rampallions!" I shout, noticing the commotion. My frown can be discerned from the blurry lens, now collapsed on the floor. "Away from my bride at once!"
Next cutscene is me closing the door, mouthing one final "wretch of the century" towards the infracteurs. Quiet sobs can be heard from the now sealed room.
"What's the point? They've all seen me in the dress. It was supposed to be a reveal" the unicorn confesses, heartbroken.
"The girls will get you an even better one", I reassure the mythical creature. "Don't even look at the cost." I say, patting the fat leather wallet in my back pocket, stuffed to the brim with imaginary Tumblr coins.
The final cutscene is one of the harem members in one of those interview barracks.
"I mean, like, rude? They might as well just waltz over to the surprise barn and record that too. Ugh."
A moment of pondering.
"Wait, this will be released after the wedding, right? I didn't just-"
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cosmica-galaxy · 5 months
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Can the Skibidi Multiverse alliance join to the harem of the human? (I mean Drillmen and Clockmen)
How will the others react to it? (Vee, Camron, Dj, The mimics, Speaker brothers, TV woman and Plunger Cameraman)
Camron would feel defeated. GREAT. More competitors! By this point, the human will have so many suitors that the only way for each of them to have a piece of the human is to pass out their BONES! . DJ is exhausted and beyond tired...but he doesn't mind as much as he could. The human is lovable and adorable and...everything he wants, honestly. But it seems lots of units covet the same thing he does...he just hopes whoever wins the human over makes them happy. . Vee is just happy that all factions seem to adore the human in a similar fashion...now is it gonna be trouble if one unit gets pretty determined? Yep. Is that inevitable? Certainly. Will he be in the middle of it every step of the way to make sure the human gets a partner worth something? Most definitely. . The mimics are all weighed down by their own desires and the pressure from even MORE competitors. It seems that there's a glaring downside to having such a beloved human in their midst. That won't stop all five of them from pursuing the human relentlessly. No matter what comes along to join the fray. . The Plunger Cameraman is overwhelmed by the sheer amount of units all pursuing the same human. It's bonkers to think about in light of things! How are they going to commit crowd control in a situation like this!? This was impossible! But...he can't blame them. There's something about that human that draws units to them...be it their kind heart or something else. It's like the human is now the pied piper of the alliance...what a large mess. . The speaker siblings are floored from how many units are now thirsting after the ONLY human in the base. This is almost insanity! How many cores and hearts is that human going to collect!? The sister can't help but laugh at the situation while the brother seems more hellbent on taking it seriously. This was becoming more and more chaotic by the day! Just how many more will join this endeavor!? . TV woman would be stunned from the sheer amount of suitors that the human managed to conjure up during their stay in the alliance. They were only found around a few months ago...and so many units were already itching to worship this human. She thought she was the only one with simps! It's both funny and concerning. How can the human enrapture so many units?? It's like you have a form of mind control or something. It's crazy. But this is probably the most fun the units have had in a long time. She's gonna be there for every single moment...just hope the human doesn't choose a certain cameraman out of all these suitors.
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yanderemommabean · 1 year
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Quick question about our lovely CEO...cause I'm a little confused are we like working for them? While they dote on us and love us, because ;-; I would just like kiss kiss and snuggles, captilism is eating my ass and I would not like it like that
You can, but you do not have to. They have options in the contract to make you more comfortable, and of course you have ways to negotiate, and if you wish to just be doted on and be his at home spouse then that's more than ok!
-Mommabean
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obsessivevoidkitten · 8 months
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How would the farm animals react to a very shy and socially awkward reader?
A. They would be THRILLED. Shy and socially awkward just means you probably have less friends to contact and you probably go without contacting the ones you do have for long stretches. Less people to try and come to your rescue. B. They'd probably be more gentle overall with a shy reader. Very careful with them to make sure they don't overwhelm them too much at first with everything until reader adjusts.
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soaps-mohawk · 2 months
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So since it’s a poly relationship does that mean that the guys will also kiss each other too? I’ve read some fics where the guys don’t and they don’t even do anything with each other only with reader and I’ve never read one that actually has them be romantic with each other
Yup! There's already been a few scenes of them not only kissing, but also fucking so...I think it's safe to say yes to this question.
This is everybody x everybody poly and not the more reverse harem type.
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apollos-boyfriend · 6 months
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wait….. if the captain is mr minecraft….. but phil’s ALSO mr minecraft……. what is the truth /lh
the truth is beautiful old married men yaoi. hope this helps <3
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occasionalsnippets · 3 months
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(I headcanon that Mc had an apartment)
Bright: This is where you lived!?
Mc: what? I'm not rich. Anyway your sleeping on the couch
《��《》《》《》《》《》
Mc: yeah sorry for disappearing (Insert time), no I do not remember the time I was gone for
(Talking to either Cops, Friends, Parents)
《》《》《》《》《》《》
Mc: you need a job, your not gonna freeload off of me
Bright: :(
《》《》《》
How would they (Clef, Bright, Kondraki, ect) react to showing up in our world (with us) asking for friend :)
Everything is just weirdly normal. They've all been around the supernatural part of their world for a very long time so to just go back to being "civilian" is a little jarring.
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