#--BECAUSE he didn't have an accompanying seizure | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gatitties · 9 months

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Hello I love your writing! I had an idea of a scenario that would be the teenager (13 years old) reader ends up connecting with something and ends up having a seizure (like Kiri in Avatar 2) and all of the crew are worried it could do with the Straw Hats, Whitebeard's crew, Shanks and Law please!

—Strawhats, Whitebeard Pirates, Shanks & Law x teen!reader (platonic)

—Summary: you have a strange blackout, despite not feeling anything wrong with you, your friends care about you

—Warnings: none

You swing the shopping bags so they wouldn't hit your legs again, trying to catch up with Sanji who was a few steps ahead of you. You had offered to help him with errands and here you were carrying more bags than you should have because there was no way you were going to make more than one trip to carry everything.

You felt your fingers go numb for a few seconds, your vision blurred and you fainted out of nowhere, the sound of your body hitting the ground alarmed the blonde. He let everything he was carrying fall to the ground to attend to you immediately, panicking when he saw that you only trembled and didn't react to his voice.

He carefully carried you running towards the ship, it was so loud that he woke Zoro up, though he didn't start a fight because he heard Sanji's desperate voice calling for Chopper.

"I need help over here!"

Everyone got anxious at the cook's explanation as they waited for Chopper to come out of the room where he was checking that everything was okay.

Nami and Robin had interrupted their coffee and gossip session, Luffy was pounding on the door impatiently while Jinbe was trying to push him away, Franky, Usopp and Brook diverted their slight concern with small talk.

You didn't wake up until a few hours later, pacing the deck as if nothing had happened.

"Stop right now!"

You fell backwards, Luffy's arms wrapping around your body.

"Uff- Luffy, you're crushing me."

"What the hell are you doing!?"

Nami hit him immediately making him let go, Usopp helped you up, patting you on the shoulder.

"What's happening? You look at me as if I had grown a third eye."

"You do not remeber anything? That could be troublesome! what should I do!?" the poor reindeer began to murmur "Rest! You need to rest, one day at least."

"But I don't feel sick."

"Doctor's orders, you have to comply."

Zoro gave you a little push with a sly smile, you rolled your eyes.

"You're not the best person to talk about it..."

You were running after Ace because he had stolen your food, until your body felt weak and you fell to the ground. Ace laughed thinking that you had stumbled because it wasn't the first time you've stumbled while trying to catch up. However he became concerned when you didn't react, picking you up when he got close to do one of your 'surprise attacks'.

"Come on, get up, it's not funny..."

His hands began to sweat when he saw that your body began to convulse, he held you in his arms to keep you firm and not hit yourself.

"Shit, shit, shit… Marco!? Where is Marco!?"

Several of the guys that were out there started looking for the doctor, luckily he was on the ship, although Whitebeard was out since you just arrived a few hours ago.

"What happened-yoi?"

Marco started to ask what had happened while Ace answered him, the blonde doing a quick check, he didn't find anything unusual so he let you rest while he went to report to Whitebeard. In that short time Izo stayed by your side to watch if you woke up or not since Ace needed to calm down, he wouldn't help being tense.

You woke up a while later, Izo smiled at you as he offered you a glass of water.

"I don't notice any discomfort, maybe it was a heat stroke?"

You swore and swore that you didn't feel any pain or discomfort when Marco came to ask, even though your vital signs were stable, Whitebeard didn't let you leave the ship for a couple of days or at least be accompanied in case it happen again.

"I can't risk someone young not receiving proper medical treatment, your health is more important than that of an old man like me."

You nodded at your father's words, despite the fact that you respect him a lot, you were still a teenager and you will probably end up running away, you need a little privacy and nothing has happened to you again, you would be fine on your own sometimes.

You went looking for Shanks because you should disembark now, but knowing him he would surely be drinking in the town bar, you actually found him there.

"I invite one more round! come on kid, you can order whatever you want, as long as it's non-alcoholic."

"I don't want anything, the ship is going to set sail without you, again..."

"Oh come on, come on, don't worry so much and enjoy the night!"

You sighed, shaking your head, there was no point, you had already tried to take him back, if he didn't want to it wasn't your problem, after all he is a Yonko and he knows how to take care of himself. You decided to get out of there, however, before you could go out the door, your body vanished from one moment to the next. Your body hit the ground at the same time as Shanks's beer mug, he ran towards you trying to make you react, his screams cut through the jovial atmosphere in just seconds, the customers being intimidated by the redhead's intense gaze.

"I need a doctor, someone get a doctor!"

The urgency in his voice, his posture, his gaze... no one could just ignore his presence and keep drinking, some people even fainted from the power in his voice, a brave little man ventured to your side, his palms sweating as he was inspecting you before Shanks's eyes.

It didn't take long for you to come to, confused by the situation, despite clarifying that you felt fine, besides the fact that the doctor didn't find anything serious at first sight, it was enough for your captain.

"We'll go immediately to find the best doctor in the whole world, don't worry."

"Maybe you're exaggerating a bit... there are a lot of people who faint from some discomfort, and I don't feel bad right now"

"No, you need to go to the doctor a couple more times to make sure it's not due to a disease."

"Okay, can I at least walk on my own?"

"No."

He held your body like you were a bag, you sighed looking up at the starry sky, hoping you wouldn't be treated like glass because of a little accident, you were in the crew of a yonko for a reason, despite being young you were strong enough.

It was quite late when both of you were playing cards, Law's bad habits got mixed up with yours, even though he always scolded you because you were still too young to mess up your sleep schedule, you just ignored him.

"I won again!"

"I'm sure you're cheating."

"Of course not, who do you take me for?"

You laughed at Law's scowl, moving the cards you had hidden, he dealt again, you looked at your cards, planning your next play, though before you could put the card on the table a big puncture to your head caused you to pass out, Law put his hand between the table and your head so you wouldn't hit it.

Immediately laying you on the floor, checking your breathing and pulse instantly, clicking his tongue as he saw you have little convulsions, he put you in a better position so you wouldn't hurt yourself with your little spasms, waiting for them to subside. He used his power to check you out as quickly as possible, getting frustrated that he couldn't find anything that was causing your current situation. He decided that for now it was better to let you rest since you had stopped moving.

You woke up the next day, verifying on your own that you had no discomfort, since you did not feel any pain or discomfort, you simply got up from the patient's bed. You were very hungry so you went to have breakfast with the others. No one was alarmed because no one knew what happened to you last night so they were surprised when they saw you disappear, in your seat a pen instead of you, they shrugged their shoulders thinking that Law was going to scold you for one of your pranks.

"No one has given you permission to get out of bed, I still need to check that it's nothing serious."

"I don't feel bad, maybe it was tiredness."

"I'm not sure, that's why I need you to stay in bed and not make too much physical effort."

"But-"

"No buts, now, did you feel something strange yesterday?"

"Now that you mention it..."

You lay on the bed, answering all the questions your captain asked you, you knew you had nowhere to run when he went all 'father' and doctor, ignoring him would only make the situation worse, so you hoped it was just a little accident and not worse, but you would have Law on top of you every day to take your medicine if you had to.

#op #one piece #one piece x reader #reader insert #whitebeards #whitebeard pirates #teen!reader #platonic #one piece x platonic reader #platonic reader #scenarios #one piece scenario #law #shanks #strawhats x teen reader #strawhats x reader #request #sfw #xreader

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atimeofyourlife · 7 months

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Whumptober day 16

rated: t | wc: 885 | prompt: Gurney | Flatline | “Don’t go where I can’t follow.” Steve ending up in hospital after the fight with Billy and again after Starcourt.

Steve didn't really know where he was by the time the reached the hospital. The drive over had blurred together with the rest of the night, leaving him confused about everything. Or maybe that was the concussion. Who knows? All he knew was that his head hurt and all the lights seemed a little too bright.

Hopper had to help him out of the car, but he didn't make it more than a few steps before his knees gave out and he collapsed right outside the emergency room doors. He was vaguely aware of yelling, groaning as it made the insane headache worse. He couldn't make sense of any of the words being said, or what anyone was doing, other than touching and moving him. He faded in and out of consciousness, slowly realizing he was strapped to a gurney, and being rushed through the hospital. He shut his eyes again, to block out the harsh lighting that flooded the halls, and let himself sink into the darkness.

When he woke up, he was lying in a bed, in a dimly lit hospital room. There seemed to be wires and tubes everywhere, accompanied by the whirring and beeping of the machines. He slowly turned his head from side to side, the slight movement making him feel exceptionally dizzy. Hopper was sat in a chair to his left, looking like he was half asleep. Steve opened his mouth to speak, but the dryness in his mouth and throat caused him to start coughing. Hopper jerked awake at that, immediately looking Steve over. "You good there, Harrington?"

"What happened?" Steve managed to mumble as he gained control of his breathing.

"Do you remember any of it?" Hopper asked, sounding concerned.

"Billy showed up. I tried to stop him getting the kids. Then we were in a car, and we set fire to the tunnels." Steve screwed his face up, trying to remember what else had happened, but nothing was coming to mind. Instead, it just made his face ache.

"Anything else?"

Steve just shook his head.

"You were barely conscious by the time we got back to the Byers' place. The kids were all pretty worried about you. I brought you in, you couldn't walk on your own. You collapsed outside when we got here, then you had a seizure on the gurney as you were being taken in for treatment."

"Jesus." Steve replied, lifting his hand to run it through his hair, but his movement was limited by the IV in his hand.

"I should let the nurse know you're awake," Hopper said, reaching for the call button.

A nurse came in a few minutes later, checking Steve over and asking a few questions. He didn't pay a huge amount of attention to what she was saying, other than that he was being kept in for a few days for monitoring in case he had another seizure. She administered more medication, and Steve could feel it starting to take effect, easing the pain and making him feel sleepy again.

"Get some more sleep, Harrington. I'll still be here when you wake up again." He heard Hopper say quietly.

Steve could only let out a small noise of affirmation as he drifted off again, in pain and hazy from the drugs, but felt safe with Hopper watching over him.

Steve felt lost as he was taken from the ambulance into the hospital on the gurney, and not just because of the concussion and drugs that he'd received courtesy of the Russians. He couldn't help thinking of the last time he'd been in a similar position. Eight months earlier, pretty much to the day. The last time he'd had a concussion, the last time he'd landed a stay in hospital. The seizure on the gurney that he still couldn't remember having. Waking up in the dimly lit room with Hopper in the chair next to him. Hopper always being there. Even letting Steve stay with him and El after he was discharged, until he was recovered enough to safely be home alone.

That was what was making Steve feel so lost. Knowing that this time he wouldn't have the concerned adult there to look out for him, to look after him. His parents wouldn't cut their business trip short for something as insignificant as him being hospitalized for the second time in under a year. And every other adult he knew had other things to worry about. Mrs Henderson had Dustin to worry about. Mr and Mrs Sinclair had Erica and Lucas to worry about. Joyce had everything to worry about, Will and Jonathan, El, losing Hopper. There had been so much death and destruction in just a few short days, Steve knew that his injuries were so minor in the grand scheme of things.

Because of everything that was going on, and the damage that had been caused to the hospital earlier, Steve was left on the gurney until there could be some space found for him and a doctor was free to do a full assessment of his injuries. He felt a weight at his side, and looked up to see Robin next to him. He took her hand and squeezed it gently, feeling slightly better in the knowledge that he had someone there for him.

#whumptober2023 #no.16 #gurney #stranger things #fic #steve harrington #steve harrington whump #jim hopper #robin buckley #stobin #platonic stobin #atimeofyourwrites

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hanilessa · 9 months

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flowers on your wrist

` Childe x Fem!Reader

` Genre: soulmate au, romance

` Author’s notes: this is my birthday present for you. be happy, my dear @kiryoutann ♡ i thought for a long time what kind of fic i would like to write for you, and soulmate au was the perfect solution. please, enjoy it!

It started spontaneously and unexpectedly. When you least expected it. The party at your classmate's house was really fun. You were enjoying the pleasant taste of cocktail in the company of your friends, when a sharp and unexpected pain in your wrist make you drop glass with cocktail from your hand.

The crystal glass shattered on the floor with a slight clang, flooding the parquet with a transparent liquid, which gradually began to turn red and create unimaginable water patterns. Your head was empty for a moment in pain, your eyes clouded over with a light veil, and you grabbed your wrist with your free hand, trying to stop the pain.

The pain wasn't too bad, but you felt like your skin was being torn apart. You overcame the sudden urge to scream and finally looked down at your wrist. You held it with your other hand, but even that didn't stop you from feeling and seeing how red blood dripped from your wrist, continuing to mix with the cocktail spilled on the floor.

The feeling of pain continued to gnaw at your wrist, and you finally pulled your hand away to see a small forget-me-not sprout reaching through your torn to hell skin. The little white forget-me-not flower sparkles blood red as it continues to ooze from your open wound on your wrist.

When your shock gradually wears off, you begin to hear voices again, and when your hearing returns to normal, you hear words that later became fatal to you.

"She got a sign."

You're standing on the porch of the house, peering into the night starry sky. Myriads of celestial bodies shine on the black veil of the sky, accompanying your planet in this endless stream of the Universe. Your wounded wrist ripples through your body with a slight, residual pain, a reminder that now all that you have to think about is finding your soulmate. The wound on your wrist will never stop reminding you about it.

Ajax is standing next to you, his eyes slightly red and wet, and you sigh in an excited and saddened way, realizing that he was crying again because of his ex. Your best friend never understood people, and therefore he could never know that your feelings for him were romantic for a long time. Unfortunately, these feelings must now be discarded, because your destiny must be the one whose wrist today is also torn with burning pain and beautiful bloody flowers.

That's why you hated your reality. You cursed the world for creating soulmates. Because you never had a chance to be with someone you truly loved.

You look at Ajax out of the corner of your eye, a gentle breeze caresses his ginger hair, the blue of his eyes is devastated by a river of tears, and it hurts you to see the dry paths of tears on his cheeks. You notice a small bloody mark on the sleeve of his blue sweater. You want to ask him about it, but you don't have time because Childe becomes the first one to break the silence between the two of you.

"I was told that you got a sign." He turns to you and looks at you with his bottomless ocean eyes. "What was it?"

"The forget-me-not sprout tore my skin to shreds." You answer, looking at your wrist out of the corner of your eye. "Sensations aren't the best."

"Is that so…" Ajax looks at his soiled sweater thoughtfully, and you think he's thinking hard about something.

"Did you get into a fight with someone again?" You ask in the silence of the night city, knowing that he will again leave this question unanswered. "Because of her?"

"Let's not talk about it."

You're silent. It was something like a routine.

The days go by at a fast pace, accompanying your every morning, day and night with burning pain that spreads through your body at the speed of light. These seizures happened unexpectedly, and you didn’t even understand if your soulmate was somewhere nearby at that moment or not. The pain was burning, furious, to blackout in the eyes.

And the most frightening thing was that with each new seizures this pain got worse. You had to find your soulmate before this pain made your life hell.

You tell your friends that you urgently need to go to the bathroom because your wrist starts to burn with painful fire again. It was unbearable.

You locked yourself in the backroom and pressed yourself against the wall, throwing your head up. It was insanely fucking painful. Your lips were trembling and tears were running down your cheeks, but you could never run away from these sensations, because that was your nature.

The branches and stems of the forget-me-not grew on your wrist, fused with the tendons and blossomed into beautiful flowers that mingled with the red blood flowing from your wound. Hatred of fate spilled into your soul, as your blood spilled over the floor around you, filling the space with a bloody sea.

You wanted to resist, you could never accept that your destiny was someone who wasn't Ajax. Why did this world decide for you? Why did you have to follow clear rules, and not choose your own way? As you denied your connection to your soulmate and wept over your doomed love, the pain in your arm rose above your pain threshold, causing you to scream out loud.

There was a ringing in your ears, and for a moment you thought you heard someone scream. But you couldn't think about it for long, because your hand hurt again, and you lowered your eyes to your wrist, where a bouquet of bloody forget-me-nots bloomed. It was a beautiful and terrifying sight at the same time.

You screamed in pain again, and at that moment you distinctly heard someone scream, which was completely in sync with yours. The voice was familiar, and when you heard the scream again, you recognized it.

"Ajax…" You whispered, not believing your thoughts. You barely got up from your seat, rising on trembling legs from the floor. Your wrist continued to throb in pain, but the only thing you wanted right now was to see your best friend.

You opened the backroom door and immediately met Childe's blue eyes. His face was wet with tears, but that wasn't what caught your attention. Now you've seen his wrist. It was covered with white bloody flowers — forget-me-nots. The same ones that tore the skin off your own wrist.

"You screamed…" His voice is trembling as he also turns his attention to your hand, which is dripping blood. There was silence around you and him, broken only by the sound of his and your blood dripping, mingling on the floor.

"You too…" You say, wiping tears from your eyes with your good hand.

Ajax does the same, then smiles through the slowly fading pain, "Looks like we have something to talk about, don't we?"

#tartaglia x reader #childe x y/n #childe x reader #tartaglia x y/n #genshin x you #genshin x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin imagines #tartaglia fluff #childe fluff #tartaglia imagines #childe x you #childe imagines #tartaglia x you #genshin men x reader #genshin men #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact x female reader

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muu-kun · 9 months

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It has been a hot minute since I've posted Muu updates, especially in regards to mental health developments, so here go:

Though it isn't entirely lifted from him as bouts of it can still occur should he forget to take his medication, his medication no longer aids him per an ineffective dosage, or should other factors such as placing himself into highly stressful and triggering events occur, his diagnosis of Alice in Wonderland Syndrome is a mute point. Through some additional testing, much of which he admittedly wished to refuse to his own denial that the medical professionals he was going through would find what they were looking for, it was surprising to find that what was causing his bouts of it to begin with was none other than epilepsy. He'd known himself to have a genetic anomaly caused by his form of Kallmann Syndrome that is linked to such condition, such as it is with adhd, and autism, both of which he also has been diagnosed with at different points in his life; however, he had serious doubts about having it himself as he'd never experienced anything he'd have considered to be seizure, or seizure-like even, in his entire life. What he'd later find by holding onto such a statement on such observations is that he simply didn't know the complexities of such a condition. It was unknown to him that seizures were not entirely full body, and instead could be isolated to jerking within the hand, or fingers. There could have even nine at all, as he found out, but instead an offset stare accompanied by a complete lack of body movement. He'd been hearing his whole life that he had the tendency of appearing out of it, or captured by his own mind, yet his contribution to that had always been that perhaps he just wasn't a very bright individual. Only when his absence seizures were replaced by what he'd have later found out to be focal seizures after finding himself concerned about progressively appearing spasms in his pointer fingers specifically did he get to an opportunity of finding more about himself than he truthfully wished to do so personally. Even so, he is still plenty appreciative of the discovery, because now he is on an epilepsy medication. He's thus far been on it the entire month of July without mentioning to anyone. With it becoming otherwise public knowledge at this point, he can at least also share it with the associated knowledge that he hasn't experienced even one instance of feeling very small in a oversized world. If anything, he's actually only found himself offhandedly mentioning the wish to be taller before moving on to better, more practical uses for his focus and time.

Rumination and insomnia are also null in their placements on the board. Nights in which he'd be up until 2, maybe even three in the morning, or ones in which he'd be able to get himself to sleep with limited issue yet would wake up hourly with immense problems getting back to sleeping peacefully, have entirely been replaced by those in which he's lights out on or before 10:00pm and stays deep in slumber until 6:00am the next morning to begin his daily routine unbothered. This is an incredibly exciting development for Muu personally as he still distinctly recalls how difficult it was for him to get even an ounce of rest leading up to and during the pandemic as he would be ruminating about every decision and mistake he'd ever made his entirely life up until his great sadness was enough to lure him into sleeping. It is also of interest to him when it comes to even present conflicts, and how they fail to impact his ability to sleep as they would've years, or even weeks ago. I take for example how the situation between himself and Calix affected him versus the latest one with himself and Sully ( character / blog mentions: @tximidity). In the case involving being informed by the then stranger to him, Calix, that he possess a victim complex, that initiated him into Stressed Mode completely. It embedded itself under his skin enough to lead to not only a nightmare based on the experience, but he also found the high levels of worry he was placing onto his body as a result of a comment he believes was most certainly not intended to hurt him that badly led him to one (which is still thought to be too many in his mind, especially considering his age and degree of health) instance of nocturnal enuresis. Fast forward to being told by Sully that the pair were essentially no longer friends, something that of course Muu would not wish to hear for a number of reasons associated with underlying trauma. As of yet, even, has that hindered his quality of sleep? No, actually it hasn't. It has a tendency to eat at him during the day, yes, but surprisingly once his body is ready for rest, it doesn't allow for even a single thought to disturb him from falling asleep the moment his head hits the pillow. Even on occasions in which he is pulled from sleep by his dog, Match, needing a late into the night bathroom break, or even just a sip of water, he doesn't find himself on dwelling on anything beyond his wishes to go back to sleep-- which, as it would, are granted just as immediately as they are at the start of his rest hours prior. He hasn't been able to sleep so soundly since he was SIXTEEN years old. It might not be an incredibly exciting thing to celebrate, but he's joyful over it all the same.

Additional things to consider:

No, none of this is to even suggest the narrative that he is Healed. I can list right now all the reasons in which that is NOT true:

Self esteem is still non-existent. No matter how much he'd like to be able to even say one positive thing about himself, he unfortunately can not. Any attempt at doing so continues to be met with a voice informing him that he is either incorrect in his opinion, or that there is some other factor about himself so heinous that any posivity in any other area becomes void of merit. Even in a situation in which a loaded firearm is placed to his head, and the only thing determining if he lives or dies in that moment is the ability to list even just one thing about himself that he likes, he'd unfortunately perish due to being absolutely unable to compliment himself.

He still can't keep a consistent job as his mental stability is realistically anything but. Leaving the house is an incredible feat that he admittedly can't always find himself able to accomplish. This is especially true on days he's filled himself with the narrative that he lacks friends, and is otherwise incapable of being saved due an inability to maintain a consistent social group to call his own. Loneliness and grief has truly been eating at him in excruciating doses lately, so really he's only managed to make into work in the instances in which he's messaged directly by his supervisor informing him that he's personally needed for assistance in or outside filming that day. Even then, his appearances within the establishment are limited to only a couple in the late afternoon to seven at the latest as he is not one to like to be anywhere but at home getting comfortable by 7:30 - 8:00pm.

He's still attending daily inpatient care. Per the recommendation of his therapist to attend group therapy, and as a result of some days being exceptionally cruel to himself in manners he's not comfortable addressing, he's been checking himself into his local mental health clinic every Monday through Friday. It starts sharply at 8am, and he stays throughout the entirety of it up until the last minute rolls into 3:00pm. He's very fortunate that his therapist was able to get him into the program free of charge by way of reaching out to them directly with information revealing Muu to be on a limited income due to government funding and a mental health related unemployment history. Truthfully, on days in which he misses out on attending by way of either sleeping in, or other necessary expectations rise up instead, he quite literally cries in distress over it. He's never fit into a group before, or at least not for an incredibly lengthy, or consistent period of time, but there he does. Not only are there people healing alongside him, but there's also numerous trained professionals and volunteers alike on the premises all there to be helpful towards those ongoing journeys. Of course he prefers to participate in activies and sessions ran by older staff members there, especially the male's unsurprisingly, as he likes to refer to them as being "real" grown-ups to his.. not so great strategies at being one.

#; ♡ ; mental health masterpost

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zap0ch0s · 1 year

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for those who doesn't know

some one just asked me who's Tom, but before we talk about him, I'll tell you 9's past in this AU

Spoiler alert

tw: blood, cruel experiments, murder, bad words, brutal gore

Our protagonist is 9 (duh), 9 lived with a very loving family with the scientist, Julius Bergeron, and his wife and son, Helen and Timothy, 9 was a magical stitchpunks (ok, talking about stitchpunk with "powers", there is a strange condition where stitchpunks are awaken with a "magical gift", so that's the thing)

(obviously, this man)

But in a Demon war, 9 lost everything in one day, his mother Helen and Timothy, of course, the scientist and 9 were affected about that, but especially 9, that caused on him having nightmares and unpleasant memories of that (basically PSTD), one year later, somehow, the Chancellor Ferdinand knew about 9 and decided to take 9 and the scientist to a laboratory with 20 "magical" stitchpunks it, so 9 was like "the special one", but they treated him like shit, they did cruel experiments with him, like locking him up in a very dark room to see how much time he could endure being alone, they inyected him with chemicals to "improve his power, among other cruel experiments, but, the experiment that was the straw that broke the camel's back, was that in one prove section, they gave him electroshocks in his body to test if that could increase his power, and here two things happened, one good and one bad, the "good thing is that the experiment worked and 9 became stronger and inmune to toxic substances, the bad thing is that almost at the end of the test, it generated an aggressive behavior in 9 as a way of defense and aggression, which led to the doctor to sedate him to calm him down, that anger 9 felt that test is the feeling that would follow him from now on.

9 barely saw the scientinst, who accompanied 9 in the minority of the tests, but he could still see him, until the scientist got sick of a terminal sickness, called sanguinosis (I'll explain myself, it happens when the blood vessels break throughout the body, that's because they didn't develop well, causing internal and external hemorrhages, I'll be fast, first, you get a fever, second, you cough up blood, third, you cough and cry blood, fourth, you get seizures, you get internal external hemorrhages, and lastly, you die, and no cure has been discovered yet, the only thing that relieves it, is fever pills), so the scientist got a terminal sickness, and 9 knew it when the scientist told 9, 9 was in that bitch ass laboratory for 4 years, until 9 was told that the scientist died, that's when 9 felt the real sadness and anger, so in a walk in the halls, he met with Tom, a man who died a week ago and became a shadow, so Tom, somehow, Tom knew about 9's power, so he proposed a deal, become 9's ally and share magical power together, mix 9's power with shadow magic, but to do, Tom had to enter 9's body, with the warning that the deal is permanent and cannot be canceled, so 9, feeling lonely and without thinking twice, he accepted, so, Tom proceed to enter 9's body and help him to get out of the laboratory without been seen, but 9 had other plans before doing that, 9 was hungry for revenge, all the tortures he hadto go through, his family's death, the scientist death, he lost everything, what else he was going to do? so, to be fast, 9 commited a mutherfucking massive murd3r in the hole factory, something like 1 from stranger things killing everyone in the Hawkings laboratory, but just imagine 9, full of anger, with so many power, with a fucking shadow, killing literally EVERY PERSON who worked there, including the 20 magical stitchpunks, everyone, except one person, the chancellor, 9 decided to leave the channcellor alive to torture him in the same that he tortured 9, an so he did, 3 days later, the chancellor died and 9 was alone again, well, not at all, he had Tom, but if 9 wanted to get out of there, he had to clean himself, then he escaped, and the massacre was announced on September 9, 2025, it was an unsolved case because the murderer was never found, there you go why, 9, somehow, destroyed every single security camera to commit the murder (except one camera that he didn't noticed), 9 has lived unnoticed, using a capeto hide his face and not be recognized, and that's all, a shitty past for 9, later, I'll tell you Tom's past, is not so long, but just to let you know who's Tom, stay tuned

#9 2009 #9 movie #shane acker's 9 #9 shane acker #9: painful experiment

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voxmortuus · 3 years

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Herding The Calf

PAIRING: Hannibal Lecter x F!Reader

UNIVERSE: Hannibal (NBC)

WORDS: 1.1k

WARNING: Sorry if this is a little fast-paced and choppy. I feel like my writing is shit today!

SUMMARY/PROMPT: From a lovely Anon: may I ask for a hannibalxreader? id like Hannibal to try to kidnap reader after stalking them for months (as he is interested in the reader and wants to get closer to them, but the only way he thinks he can make the reader care for him is to make them rely on him for all support, therefore he holds them hostage) but the reader is a good fighter and ends up hurting him pretty good, though he eventually knocks them out and the reader is held hostage in his basement and isn't necessarily afraid, just more aggravated because they're bored and want to do something and every time he visits them they ask for stuff to ease their boredom and what have you I want you to take artistic liberty over this as it is pretty much a summary prompt, just have fun if you write this lol have a nice day!

TW: Language | Mentions of Violence | Hostage | Kidnapping | Stockholm Syndrome

IMAGE CREDIT: Google

My Masterlist | Taglist | REQUESTS ARE ALWAYS OPEN

A mess of monkeys was pounding on a steel door with ball-peen hammers. Neon lights flashed on and off fast enough to send any epileptic into a seizure. Looking around, you let out a slight moan. The last thing you remember was getting ready to leave Hannibal's house before your face met the floor. Rubbing your head, you look around.

"You have got to be fuckin' kidding me?" You mutter. Taking in your surroundings, you see a toilet with a privacy wall, a bed that of which you woke up on, a sink, and a stand-up shower... and that's it. "He just couldn't take the hint." You shake your head. You try screaming, but nothing was coming of it. Chances are, this basement was soundproof. You try to walk around but, there is no luck whatsoever; here is a glass wall separating you from the rest of the basement. "GOD DAMN IT! HANNIBAL! WHAT THE FUCK?!" you yell. Frustrated.

He makes his way downstairs and takes a seat in front of your... cell. He sits down, looking at you, wiping his lip from the blood you had caused, clocking him a good one in the jaw. "You're a good fighter, Y/N, you got me good, may have even fractured a few ribs... but, you lost, I'm afraid. I wish you would have just listened, given it a chance." He stated.

"Well, Hannibal, you screwed the pooch on that one now, didn't ya? Couldn't you just take the hint? I wasn't interested. You stalked me! For MONTHS! Yet you always managed to have a god damn alibi when I tried to get the police involved. You need help Hannibal." You told him. Looking over his face, rather proud of yourself. Though you thought a moment, you wanted your money back on those damn self-defense classes.

Hannibal wanted you to need him, to rely on him. This was the only other option. When you left his care, he was insistent that you needed to stay, but you felt like you didn't need him anymore, you were feeling better, you felt like you had accomplished in your mental strength. That, and he was getting far too involved; hence you started putting more distance.

Looking at him, you rubbed your face shaking your head. "Hannibal, just let me go. I won't get the police involved- just- let me go. Please."

He stands up and looks at you. "I will bring you dinner and something to drink." He walks away.

"DAMN IT!" You bang on the glass, angry, and rightfully so. You begin to pace. There's nothing to do, nothing to read, he took your phone. You sigh; sitting on the bed, you put your head in your hands and close your eyes, trying to figure out ways to get out of this.

Day in and day out, you pace, growing bored, growing more frustrated, growing more aggravated and agitated. Looking at the wall, your back facing the glass wall, you sigh. Hannibal comes downstairs and takes a seat in front of the window wall.

"Hello, Y/N. How are you feeling?"

"Annoyed, bored, agitated, fuckin Christ Hannibal, a book, art supplies, something. I can't just sit here, pace and sleep. I need substance in my life, and you're not providing that." You state, facing away from him.

"I can give you books. What else?"

"To be let go."

"I will bring you some books. We will discuss some art supplies later."

You've gone through all six books he had brought down to you, Gone With the Wind, Pride and the Prejudice, The Great Gatsby, To Kill A Mocking Bird, Little Women, and Wuthering Heights. Sighing you had lost track of time, your sleep schedule was likely off, and your eating habits were off, you were losing weight, at least you showered, and he had given you a razor, knowing that you wouldn't harm yourself, so at least you could keep up on your shaving. He gave you clean clothes every day. To some, this wasn't so bad, but to you, it was starting to wear on you.

One night Hannibal had decided to sit in the dark you had no idea he was there. You had gone to sleep. Tossing and turning, cold sweats, you start dreaming.

You're stuck in a cage, hanging above a crowd of people, but there's something wrong with these people; they're sick, ill, bleeding from their eyes, noses, and ears. They're trying to get to you, trying to claw at you, not eat you, but they want to kill you. You see Hannibal in the distance, and you start screaming for him. Your voice goes horse. You begin to panic a little more; you're thrashing about in bed. You shoot up and gasp for breath. "HANNIBAL!" you scream.

Standing up, he walks over to the wall looking at you. "Are you okay Y/N?"

"I had the worst dream. People were trying to claw at me, trying to kill me. They were bleeding from their eyes, noses, and ears... I was in a cage, hanging above them, they started to climb the cage, and you were in the distance. I tried calling for you, but I woke up. It was horrifying." You wrap your arms around your knees and look up at him. "Hannibal, please, let me go. Please." You start to cry.

Tilting his head, he looks at you and shakes his head. "I'm afraid I cannot do that." He turns and leaves.

After a few days, he has brought you some high-quality art supplies, canvas, paints, brushes. You had gotten back in touch with your artistic side, and it was honestly a nice feeling. He would come down and watch you, observe you, and you had grown to like his company. Each day you two would talk a little longer, get to know each other a little better. You two would even have art time together and eat dinners together. He kept you in this glass box, and as time went on, you had grown accustomed to it. He had even given you a cat to keep you company. Things were changing in you.

Over time, you had liked the idea of being with him; it was this feeling of calm over you when you saw him. It was like everything was going to be okay. Fleeing wasn't a thought, not so much anymore- at least. He sits there and looks at you. "Good afternoon, Y/N. How are you feeling?"

"Hannibal, I would like to see the outside. Would you accompany me?"

He smiles and looks over your face. Tilting his head, he looks deep into your eyes and unlocks the door, takes your hand, and brings you out back. The sun hits your face you smile. Looking up at him, you smile again. "What a lovely day." you smile. And your wheels start turning surveying the area, but there was this tiny bit that stopped you; if you ran, and he caught you, your next capture, you could be the next meal.

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dr-lokidottir · 3 years

Text

Loki: information + UPG

Hello everyone! Many people have asked me to do UPG post and information about the gods I work with. I have been told that I could help them a lot.

The verified information I will leave is extremely little, there are already many posts about it, I will focus more on my UPG.

I repeat, THIS IS UPG. Any negative comment, attack, etc, well, user blocked. I would heartily appreciate to avoid bad comments, as this is my first time doing this and I don't feel comfortable, but I do have the desire to do it, because if it can help someone, I will be more than happy.

Information about Loki:

To get to the point, how about if I share these blogs and pages with you? X X X

How is he with me? (here begins the UPG).

Since I started working with him, I started to feel an incredible energy: I became much more of a joker, I laugh like never before and I have so much energy. His energy tends to run down my back like an electric shock.

Unlike 90% of people, I don't see him as thin or with an elfin face, quite the opposite, he is tall, muscular and a bit scruffy. I see him as a man with straight, long red hair, thick beard, green eyes and dark make-up, as if he had run it all over his eyes in a messy way on purpose. He is always changing shape: depending on the situation, he looks extremely young, and other times I have even seen him with wrinkles. There are few times where he shows me his scars. He has a deep voice but not very thick. He loves to use braids and hair accessories. He has a stern look but a playful smile.

On a personality level, he loves to give me kisses on my face and hug me. She loves to call me "my princess". He likes to take me by the hand and accompany me everywhere. He is not almost teasing, that "playful" side I don't know him too much. With me he is over protective, serious, loving and direct. He is the God of uncomfortable truths, and loves to tell me things straight to my face, no matter how difficult they are.

Loves that I do self-care that I offer you to take care of me. Loves coffee (he once stole my coffee taste for a week, it literally tasted like sugar water. No, it wasn't COVID, everything tasted good to me except coffee. We confirmed by pendulum, and sure enough, he said he DID take away my taste lol not because I didn't give him enough, but because he just wanted to, and that's it).

He is my foster father, along with Angrboda. According to MANY confirmations by pendulum, cards and runes (I honestly didn't believe it), we have been together since the beginning of time. I was supposedly raised in Ironwood, something like that (confirmed by pendulum). Fenrir, Jormungandr and Hel are my older brothers. Angrboda is a fierce, stern and overprotective mother just like him, and they both take great care of me. According to the pendulum, they did shit to the people who have caused me traumas throughout my life, and I can confirm it by pendulum (it's really scary because one of them even had a stroke and now he can't suffer the slightest stress or overexert himself, because he gets epileptic seizures, it was a guy who told me that I was more good dead than alive). I call Sigyn "Aunt Sigyn". We are a beautiful family and they are always with me.

He can be extremely jealous or over protective. When I started working with Asclepius, I saw him in our first meditation together (with Asclepius), he was watchful and moody. Even Asclepius was a little scared but he took it on the joking side. I talked to him about it, as I didn't want him to behave like that. He said the following:

All my children have been harmed. Fenrir was tortured by thrusting a sword into his jaws and bound for life, leaving him all alone. They broke his trust, they betrayed him. Jormungandr was sent away from me. Hel they looked at with horror and sent her away. To my other two sons they did even worse: they made one murder the other, and their guts to bind me eternally. I am afraid they will harm my children, it hurts and I can't help it.

My best friend (he has been working with him for more than four years and the same situation has happened to him) and I say it is because of the trauma. Indeed, Gods can also suffer from trauma. It's easy for us to lose everyone we love, it's obvious that you're going to act like that. After a full father-daughter day, where I talked to him, we danced to Frank Sinatra music, ate together and watched Vines with each other, his attitude changed. Communication is vital.

When I have nightmares he loves to sing this song to me.

His first gift was influencing my mother to buy me a book called "El Maestro y Margarita", a red cover book. It's a satire on historical events, where Satan (described in the book exactly like Loki, what a coincidence lol, he even makes reference to him being a trickster) travels back in time and mocks historical events, world leaders, etc.

He loves Lord of the Rings and once, again, influenced my mom to take me out to eat at a restaurant with that theme lol. I offered her the food and he collapsed of the excitement.

UPG that I have confirmed by pendulum.

Loki has ADHD.

Loki can take PHYSICAL AND TANGIBLE human form in Midgard (Earth), so we may have seen him more than once. Not my case lol, I asked him and he said no.

Tonight my best friend and I will confirm by pendulum if killing Baldr was a mistake, a revenge for what happened to Hel, Fenrir and Jormung, or was it to lower his ego, since apparently Baldr boasted of being immortal.

That would be for now! If you would like a second part in a couple of months, you can let me know. I hope it will be helpful! Remember it's UPG, it's personal and Loki takes many different forms with everyone!

#loki norse mythology #norse loki #loki pagan #loki is not evil #loki god #loki devotion #loki deity #loki devotee #loki worship #loki #norse pagan witch #norse pagan #upg #unverified personal gnosis

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deadendtracks · 2 years

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i finally finished the show last night and i feel like i have more questions than ever, but chief among them is - so why was tommy having seizures then?! did you glean the answer to this? lmao dude i feel like they initially wrote a season that was much longer but then realized they had to edit out like 40% of it for time and cut out almost all the wrong parts. it’s wild.

I don't know how closely you've followed what's happened with the series, but in case you don't know anything, the circumstances changed a lot after the end of s5. They were about to start filming s6 with an expected s7 when COVID shut everything down in 2020. During shutdown Helen McCrory became too ill to work, so they had cut down plans for Aunt Polly's role in the new season. Eventually it was clear she was not going to be able to be in the season at all and was dying, so that was another adjustment. She ended up passing away while they were filming s6. At some point before filming began in 2021 it was announced that there would no longer be a s7, and s6 would be the last season with a film to follow. I don't think we've heard why that happened. So! That sense you have that the story didn't quite fit into s6 has a context, in that it definitely wasn't originally intended to end with s6.

After watching the season I am under the impression that the main plot was not significantly altered after all of this, just adjusted both for Aunt Polly's death and to attempt to tie it up a bit at the end. This is pure speculation of course, but I can definitely see how storylines were meant to continue into a s7 and I can even see where the original s6 may have ended, probably on a cliffhanger. I agree with you that a lot seemed to have been cut for time. Idk if I'd agree it was the wrong parts, but I'd have to hear more about what you think! I dearly wish the BBC had given them more than 6 episodes. I think both s5 and s6 would have benefitted from being 8 episode seasons.

As for the seizures, my guess is that they are meant to be psychogenic nonepileptic seizures. [I was going to link you to something here but tumblr's link function does not seem to be working for me at the moment! but google is always there lol]. I had suspected this was what was going on before the reveal of the 'tuberculoma' because I've read about the phenomenon in WW1 vets with shellshock, and the seizures on the show always seemed triggered by stress and accompanied by flashbacks to the war/hallucinations.

Other theories I've seen include that the doctor had been giving him some kind of medication that caused these, but I think the previous theory is more likely because of the context. In s5 they weren't shy about showing him taking laudanum fairly often but didn't show him taking any tablets in the first part of s6, and the fact that the way he spoke of the tablets he was taking to Lizzie seemed to indicate they hadn't been prescribed until after that tuberculoma diagnosis. Even so it is definitely a possibility. Given Tommy discovered the tumor was faked right at the end of the season, we weren't given an answer.

#peaky blinders s6 #peaky blinders #peaky blinders spoilers

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itsuki-minamy · 3 years

Text

PROFILE: ISANA YASHIRO

Translation: Naru-kun Raws: Ridia

Real name: Isana Yashiro

Terms of address: Shiro

[PROFILE]

Birthday: June 1, Gemini

Blood type: B

Age: 18 (At the beginning of the second season)

[APPEARANCE]

Physique: 1.69 cm in height. He is a boyish physique that looks slim and small.

Face, hair: He always has a nice smiling face.

Attire: School clothes that have fallen apart. Fold up the sleeves and wear the hem of his sneakers. (Phase 1)

Weismann's clothing is worn based on Shiro's size. (Second stage version.)

Personal effects: Japanese umbrella.

[HABITS, SKILLS]

· Go in and out when he goes anywhere. He is good at improving lies.

[IMPRESSION, OTHER NOTES]

· The image color is "white", "transparent".

· Image of "free person".

· At first glance, he seems like a lazy and mediocre child.

· It is nice to meet people, but there are places where there is no place.

· The power of the clan is accompanied by the soft silver light.

[POSITION, OBJECTIVES]

Originally a proud genius from Germany, he devoted himself to researching the Dresden Slate. At the time, he dreamed of the bright future of humanity with the power of the Dresden Slate, but he lost his sister, Claudia, in the Dresden airstrike, and fell to the bottom of disappointment. He turns into a certain kind of disgrace. After that, he lived an isolated life in heaven for almost 70 years, but he lost his memory from the seizure of power by the Seventh King, and his consciousness changed when he woke up again. Although it was a short time, the experience of living with Kuro Yatogami and Neko had a great influence.

[PERSONALITY, CONDUCT]

Although there are some parts that seem to be a bit neglected, after regaining Weismann's memory, he began to have doubts about the surface of the Slate and began to realize what was really important to him.

Regaining Weismann's memory, even if he wakes up as the "Silver King", his basic character remains almost unchanged. As usual, he is the type to laugh, even if the situation is serious. As you can see from the fact that he was a precocious genius and had few friends, he was originally unfit for "king". Although he's worthy when it comes time to call him out, he doesn't really think of grouping a lot of people together like Rey, and he's not good at it. However, he is prepared to act as their leader while forming close relationships with a very small number, Neko and Kuro. He seems open and positive to everyone, but in fact it may be that he is carefully selecting people to associate with.

For Shiro, the happiness that surrounds a human and a platform that can be protected is the most important. In that sense, he is quite different from Munakata and Kokujoji. Ichigen Miwa may be the closest thing.

He seems elusive and incomprehensible, but when it comes to his heart, he begins to move forward and prepare.

[FATE, ENDING]

To the Green Clan who want to empower all human beings by using the Slate, Shiro will deny the Slate that he ever dreamed of the happy future of humanity.

We concluded that instead of the supernatural power of a huge stone slab, he would choose a future that he would make with his friends around him, and confront Nagare, causing a change that would destroy people's little happiness.

[ABILITIES, TACTICS]

At the beginning of the story, he was a normal person, but when he woke up as the "King" at the end of the first term, he used his fluffy flying ability with an umbrella, a barrier, and a Neko-mediated mind-transmission ability. He is not good at direct attacks, but he has a wide range of applications and great power.

Mainly defense. Immortality.

Since he was a scholar when he was Weismann, he was not good at exercising.

[POWER]

A + (Superior in the "King" class, but does not participate in voluntary combat.)

[LIKES]

His favorite food is white rice.

It is said that the food that Kuro makes is very delicious, but he appreciates most things. Neither gourmet nor sensitive tongue. A relatively harsh taste.

[DISLIKE]

Nothing particularly. Those who speak loudly in meetings.

[HOBBIES]

He has always loved reading as an art culture since the Weismann days, but it is subtle to say that it is a hobby.

He likes to joke around and chat with others.

Researching science in general is a hobby, but it is inextricably linked to work. He didn't need distractions because he used to work as a hobby.

After meeting Kuro, eating rice became one of his hobbies.

[FASHION]

Perhaps because he was born before the war, his fashion sense is a little different from that of young today.

[BODY]

He was tall in the Weismann period, but Isana's body is small and delicate. Sometimes majesty doesn't look good.

[INTELLIGENCE]

Very high. Originally called "double headed genius" with his sister Claudia, a scientific genius. He has knowledge of science and technology in general. Furthermore, he is a mere scholar and possesses such a wealth of knowledge that he can pursue flexible subjects outside of his specialty. Furthermore, he is also good with tricks and deception that fools the opponent.

He also likes to play games and make jokes. He has an expert and generalist perspective. However, he rarely uses it for practical purposes.

[BELIEFS]

There was a panoramic view of all phenomena from Weismann's height. Mental in nature, he is a lonely person. He may have come from the first half of life when he had no other person to open his mind to except Claudia and Kokujoji because he had transcendent intelligence. Weismann entered the lonely life due to the loss of his sister, Claudia, but he was not completely abandoned in his life, such as following his only friend, Kokujoji, to Japan.

Since he became Isana Yashiro, his mindset has changed considerably after he formed ties with Kuro and Neko. It seems that the important thing among him is probably not the country or the ideal, but the important people within his reach.

[RELATIONSHIPS]

[EARLY YEARS]

He was called a double-headed genius with his sister, Claudia, since he was a child. He participated in the study of the Dresden Slate and met his longtime friend Kokujoji.

Due to his incomparable intelligence, he was a lonely entity, which he could not easily meet with others. From that moment on, he was cheerful and liked mischief.

[TIMELINE]

· 1922, Adolf K. Weismann is born.

· 1943, Weismann participates in the investigation of the Dresden Slate. He advances in the analysis of the Slate.

· 1944, Weismann meets Kokujoji.

· 1945, February, Dresden airstrike, Weismann awakens as the "Silver King".

· 1945, April, Kokujoji brings the Slate to Japan, Weismann and Kokujoji say goodbye.

· 1947, Weismann visits Himmelreich.

· 2012, December, the “Colorless King” took over Weismann's body, and fell on Gakuenjima with the boy's body and became Isana Yashiro.

[ATTITUDE AND THOUGHTS TOWARDS OTHERS]

[TERMS OF THE ADDRESS FOR HIMSELF]

The first person is "Boku", and the second person is "Kimi" or "Anata".

[TOWARDS KOKUJOJI DAIKAKU]

He calls him "Lieutenant".

In the Weismann era, it was almost a farewell decision, but once he was awakened by the "King" as Isana Yashiro, he was able to face another stance. He has a complicated affection for him that he cannot describe in one word.

[TOWARDS YATOGAMI KURO]

He calls him "Kuro", "Kimi".

He is more important than a servant, and he believes that he is more like a family. The part that depends on him is great.

[TOWARDS NEKO]

He calls her "Neko" or "Kimi".

Like Kuro, she is more of a friend and family than a subject. There is no romantic feeling so far.

[TOWARDS HISUI NAGARE]

He calls him "Nagare", and "Kimi".

A young man who tries to realize his dream of changing the world with the power of the Slate, which he used to see. He thought that he could make everyone happy with the great power of the Slate, but he only saw others as "humanity" and did not see the little happiness of each person. It is the responsibility of those who have started it all, to prevent Nagare from trying to cause chaos in the world by releasing the Slate.

#k #k project #k fan clan #isana yashiro #profile isana yashiro

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guigz1-coldwar · 3 years

Text

'Staying': New chapter for "Redemption in a Spirit in a Cold War" is out !

'Staying'

"Yirina, if you don't want to admit the truth, I'll show you,"

Chapter Summary: Yirina, unfortunately, had a seizure during a call made by Park in the apartment and her head forced her to relive a recent memory she forgot...something important that she didn't remember...

Link of the Picrew used !

To read it on AO3, click here!

Words : +3200

Taglist : @snowgoldwaylon , @clxudtea , @efingart

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

The first thing...the first thing I was able to feel was my hands & my foots tied up, like ropes wrapped around them and they were hurting me, seeming too tight for me to get away and any moves with my hands or legs were only going to hurt me painfully, nothing between the ropes and my skin, making me impossible to resist and to find a way out of the wooden chair I was on. My brain was also trying to figure out the whole situation but everything came clear to me when my eyes tried to open widely, finding it hard to have it open for a few seconds before having to narrow them.

With the best of the vision I could have right now, I took a look around to know where I was: in a sort of interrogation room, looking in bad shape while I was in the middle of the room, a little light on the ceiling, giving to the room a partial part of the light, half of it plunging the room in the dark and...and in front of me, there was a TV that was...looking turned on as I could see some pictures...Vietnam...Fracture Jaw...but then, the TV shut down itself as someone was opening the door of the room.

The person who opened the door...was Freya, accompanied by Stitch, both in their usual uniforms...no...I'm reliving what they did to me weeks ago...back in Verdansk. The tests, it was looking more like something else than just a test...more like torture. I was almost in the vapes and wanted to talk, but a fold covered my mouth as Freya & Stitch arrived near me, Freya holding something in her hands.

"I think that you can remove it, now," Freya talked to Stitch, making a sign with her head and Stitch starts to comply, moving his hands on the fold.

"Let's hope the drugs are in effect," Stitch said before he removed fold off my mouth as I was looking down on the ground and seeing my clothes in bad shape.

"Yirina, look up," Freya ordered me but my head stayed down, not wanting to look at her in the eyes, not by anger but because I was exhausted. "Look up!" She demanded again.

"Make it...stop, make it...stop," I muttered, speaking may be to them or myself. "Stop...stop..." I continued to say before Freya put her left hand below my chin, raising up my head to look at her. "Freya...don't...please..."

"Good, we have you back," She exclaimed, her voice sounding a bit muffled through her mask, and completely avoided my pleas as Stitch moves next to her in front of me.

"By looking at her, she's ready to listen," Stitch stated but no, I wasn't really able to listen to them, my body wanting to cry every part of it in tears. "Go on," He spoke up, gesturing to Freya.

"Listen, you're going to answer my questions and answer what we want," She told me, keeping her hand on my chin to make sure that I was kept to hear her. "I'll not allow any wrong answers or things that don't please me, understood?" She demanded

"Just...stop..." I pleaded again to her but she wasn't looking convinced.

"That's meaning a yes, get going, Wraith," Stitch proclaimed to her, crossing his arms while looking at me as Freya was taking out something from the file she was having when she came in here.

"Okay, let's start," She sighed, showing to me a picture. On it, it was Park...it was her, the picture I had with me before we got captured at the Yamantau. "Yirina, do you know her?" She asked me, making me look at it as I lowered my head a little. "Stitch, keep her head up," She ordered, causing Stitch to hold me firmly with his two hands to make me lookup. "I'm asking again: do you know her?"

"Yes...yes," I replied in a very low voice, impossible to speak up further since Stitch was almost crushing my neck with his left hand to keep my head up.

"Speak up!" Freya raised her voice to me, not having heard me clearly. "Do you know her?" She repeated, her hand holding that picture with a rage that I couldn't describe.

"Yes, I know her, I know her," I responded, Stitch having understood that his hands were avoiding me to make my voice clear to her and allowing me to respond despite my state.

"Good, continue," Stitch sniffed, keeping his hands on me.

"Now, who is she to you?" She asked me, holding the picture with her two hands.

"She's...she's the one I love, my only hope, my...." I answered her question as she wanted but my words caused her to use her left hand to slap me on the face with its palm violently. "Freya...don't..."

"Wrong answer!" She shouted to me in an angry tone, her face able to tell that she was resisting to throw another slap at me. "We're starting again: do you know her?" She repeated her first question.

"I...I told you...yes, I know her," I protested, not understanding why she was asking me again. "Freya, please...make it stop," I demanded to her again but she did a sign to Stitch who moved to make the ropes that were holding my hands on the chair tighter as if they wanted me to bleed at any moves.

"She's either speaking and complying...or resisting and bleeding on this chair," Stitch commented after he was done, sounding to joke, the only one in the room doing that. "If she doesn't tell what we want, we'll show her the video," He warned.

"I know," Freya whispered, having looked at him for a second before putting her brown eyes on me, giving me a deadly glare. "Good but don't plead with me again," She threatened me as her hand was back on the picture, tapping on it with one of her fingers. "Who is she to you?"

"She's...she's my love, I love her, Freya!" I raised up my own voice against her, determined about that fact and as I predicted, Freya slapped me again with her left hand, more violently than the first one. "Stop...make it stop...you..."

"That's it!" Freya hissed in anger before she took something else from her jacket, looking like a videotape, "If you don't want to admit the truth, I'll show you," She said, showing me the tape before she moves at the TV. "I'll show you what they did to you," She explained, inserting the videotape.

"No...no..." I was in fear and I closed my eyes in fear, not having trouble with it but Freya saw it happen.

"Keep her eyes open!" Freya ordered Stitch who complied, putting his hands on my face as he was behind me, trying to force open my eyes widely and I tried to resist on the chair but the ropes were too tight and it was impossible to resist.

I couldn't resist any longer that his fingers were on each side of my eyes, keeping them wide open, feeling his other fingers on my face as Freya gestured with her head towards Stitch before she turned on the TV for real but before it started, I could see again some images from Vietnam...seeing myself along with Adler & Sims in special ops outfit before it disappeared again, putting on the screen of the TV, a date...15 February 1981...

The screen was all black with only the date and inside of me, I was realizing that they were going to show me...what the CIA did to me without having any remorse on their faces, not even Freya was looking ashamed to her action after she looked over me, seeing me scared & wanting to shut down my eyes but it was impossible, I was hopeless, not able to move, forced to watch something I didn't want to see.

After a few seconds that the TV was on and the videotape started, someone stepped back from the front of the camera as if they were turning on....before realizing that this person...it was Park herself...it was her that was turning on that camera and she moved aside, revealing Adler sits on a chair backwards, his arms on the chair rest while he was facing a blindfolded woman...me.

"Okay, you can go on, Adler," It was Park's voice behind the camera, sounding bad for me and Adler nodded before looking at myself.

"Bell, are you here with us?" He asked me in the recording, scratching the right side of his face while he was looking at me to top to bottom.

"Yes," I replied to him, sounding emotionless in my voice, I was tied up too like here.

"Good, do you know who is talking now?" He demanded at me curiously, moving his hand towards his jacket.

"Yes, it's you, Adler," I responded to him, using the same voice as I could see Adler taking a cigarette off his jacket...actually two and lighting one of them.

"Good, Bell," He said in a sort of good voice, putting the lighted up cigarette between his lips. "Do you remember Vietnam? We've been through hell together, we've fought together, we bled together," He questioned me, keeping the unlighted cigarette between his fingers.

"Yes, I do, it was in 1968," I answered, my head looking down as Adler nodded in the direction of the camera. "It was Fracture Jaw but...then..." I started to say before stopping myself like that.

"That's goo, here, have a smoke," He snorted before moving to put the cigarette between my own lips, lighting it and then, a few seconds happened when Adler blew out some smoke of his cigarette. "Those are your preferred, you're only asking for them," He told me.

"Yes," I simply admitted.

"Good...Bell, we have a job to do," He told it and then, my head that was looking up again with the cigarette between my lips lowers again, seeing the cigarette dropping on the ground, probably having fallen asleep. "We're making good progress, tomorrow would be your turn," He addressed himself towards the camera.

"I know, I know," Park's voice was audible and she was still sounding bad before the camera went off, causing Freya to shut down the TV, Stitch removing his fingers off me.

"You see what they did...and you're still helping them?" Freya spoke up as Stitch moved back in front of me with her. "You heard what they said and you're still helping them?" She added, looking angry, her hands clenching into fists. "You heard what SHE said and you're still loving her?" She continued, getting herself at my head level, seeing her rage through the mask.

"Yes...yes...she apologized to me..." I replied to her honestly, my voice feeling that I was gathering the strength still inside of me. "Will you....will you?" I asked her back, sounding angry.

"I don't understand you," Freya sighed before closing her eyes, seeing a tear appearing before she opened them again, getting back up and looking at Stitch. "We can give her the dose, she will reawake in her cell," She advised before she moved towards the closed room and opening it.

"Now, be silent," Stitch exclaimed as he put his hands on the fold to cover my mouth again, making sure that it wasn't going to let me speak as Freya was letting two men enter the room.

It was two soldiers and one of them was holding a needle in his hands and even if it was impossible, I tried to resist but Stitch and the other soldier was holding me by my arms and my legs to be fully sure that I wasn't going to try anything as the soldier with the needle got next to me at my right and as my head was not tied up, I started to move it away from the needle as the soldier was tapping on it.

"She's trying to resist, she's moving her head," Freya warned them, and quickly, she moved by herself from her spot to get in front of me, holding firmly my head. "Don't...fucking...resist!" She ordered loudly before looking in the direction of the soldier with the needle. "What are you waiting for? To get paid?" She yelled at him and the soldier complied before he moved the needle right into my left eye, impossible to move it.

"Good, she should be asleep soon," Stitch spoke up, everything going blurry for me as my body wasn't feeling hold anymore, my eyes hurting me to keep them open. "We have a job to do," He added, making my ears and my brain hiss in pain inside of me before I closed my eyes...

...exhausted...wanting to cry all my body...but it was impossible...

My body was feeling exhausted as my brain was processing to know where I was and reconstructing what happened earlier, remembering that I passed out in bed during the call that Park did to me, the last thing I saw was herself but all blurred, impossible to know if she was speaking as if my ears were shut at this moment but now, everything was feeling right...but right isn't the right word in fact.

The first thing I felt after a few seconds to figure out what happened was that the back of my head was hurting me as if I knocked myself on it when I landed on it when I passed out. There was also a feeling of having an unnatural heat inside of my body, feeling more hotter than before, the room was not that cold but me, it was as if my blood was boiling in my veins because of that.

After a minute to resist a bit from the pain of my head, I could open my eyes slowly, finding myself on the bed as I thought, having a wet flannel on my forehead, supposedly to cool down the heat of my body and when I moved my eyes around, I could see Zasha standing at the door, leaning against it but their back turned away from the room, dressed in their usual suit with only the jacket off.

"Zed...Zed," My voice was sounding low as I was trying to call them out from the door, so low that they couldn't hear me well. "Zed!" I raised up my voice.

"What do you..." They turned around to me before their eyes went wide, thinking at first that it was someone else calling them out "Yirina, you're alright?" They asked me and frankly, I shook my head to them. "Park, Portnova, she's awake!" They turned their head to reveal that I was now awakened and only a few seconds later, the sounds of someone almost walking faster approached the room, seeing Park quickly enter the room to get next to me.

"Shit, Yiri, you're okay?" She asked, panicked as she knelt down near me, putting her hands on my arms.

"No, I...I passed out...and you came before I shut my eyes," I responded to her, my head still gathering around the elements of what happened. "How much time I was...how much?" I demanded, looking at her but also Zasha & Portnova who entered and staying near the door.

"It's been 2 hours now," Portnva replied, crossing her arms and looking bad for me. "When Park called Zasha's office about you, we ran as fast as we could to get here," She added, Zasha nodding at her.

"What happened, Yirina?" Zasha questioned me, worried and curious. "Park said that you were starting to panic during a phone call," They clarified to me, moving with Portnova in front of the bed.

"Everything was okay but then, I start to feel dizzy, my hands were shaking and I was trying to resist but it was not possible," I told them all about what happened 2 hours ago. "And then, as soon I was in the room, I heard him," I continued, looking at Park.

"Adler?" She whispered and I shook my head.

"No, Stitch, he said it," I revealed to her, the first time that actually, it was Stitch who said that inside my head and not Adler. "It wasn't Adler, it was him," I added, trying to move my right hand to join Park's one but she moved them first, avoiding me to maybe hurt myself.

"What did Stitch said?" Portnova asked, not having told about that since we met with her,

"The only phrase that Adler was using to keep Yirina under control," Park answered to her, looking down but her voice, it was sounding like she could kill those two men because of that phrase. "He used it to make her talk and to make sure she was staying in line," She continued, moving my both hand above my chest along with her hands

"It was strange but I relived a moment when we were both detained in Verdansk," I told Park about it as she needed to know as always with her. "It was Freya & Stitch, they were trying to make me change sides, drugging me and tying me up on a chair," I chuckled to talk of this as there were Zasha & Portnova here but I couldn't stop. "They showed me a video: you...& Adler making a test with me in 1981,"

"A test?" Zasha & Portnova said in unison, looking confused as Park was uncomfortable to hear that despite everything that was told.

"It was Adler leading it, he wanted to be sure that my implanted memories were well inside of me," I responded, taking a look at Park who was looking away in shame, not able to look at Zasha & Portnova. "Park didn't do anything in it but she was here," I clarified, prompting Park to put her eyes on me again. "They forced me to look at it, Stitch keeping my eyes open and when they saw that I wasn't breaking, they injected me a needle in the left eye, putting me to sleep,"

"Damnit," Zasha sighed, looking down at their feet, "Was it something that the CIA was doing?' They asked, directly to Park,

"Zed, no...don't ask," I suggested to them, not wanting to put Park in trouble even if the two were knowing what Park did before, I couldn't let that happen. "It's...I don't want that to talk about that between us now, I...you two understand, right?" I gave my opinion on the subject to the two who nodded, biting their lips together.

"Okay, I'll not ask again," Zasha affirmed, gesturing at Park and me that it was good, seeing Park's face that could tell 'thank you' as this part couldn't talk about that loudly to Zasha & Portnova, they didn't need to know. "How are you feeling now?" They changed the subject.

"Still a bit hurt and trying to get better," I answered, taking a deep breath who was needed for me. "Like every day," I muttered to myself, referring to my days alone.

"Listen, I've talked with Zasha & Portnova and we all think that we should be staying with you for the next few days," Park revealed to me, a smile forming on her face as my eyes went wide of surprise at that news. "It's better and leaving you alone was hard to think about," She snorted, the two nodding at it.

"Thanks...thanks..." I wanted to move my body to hug her but I stopped myself to do that, not wanting to hurt anything in my case.

"We'll grab you some water & food," Portnova spoke up, taking a look to Zasha who complied and smile at me before the two starts to left the room, leaving me alone with Park.

"Don't worry, I've got nothing against you, Park," I reassured her discreetly, wanting to let her know that I couldn't blame her for what she did, she forgives herself and...she loves me...

"I know it...because I love you...that's the main thing here..."

#cod bocw #cod cold war #cod black ops cold war #cod cw #call of duty cold war #cod #call of duty #cod bell #black ops cold war #fem!bell #yirina grigoriev #helen park #bell x park

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keiratheraven · 3 years

Text

The Bentley 8 Squad in the development/old version (2019)

That night was loud at The Prosper Room Lounge but lonely for Puck Summerdream. He had drunk three starry sea drinks already, but no one accompanied him. Then, he met this beautiful girl on the dance floor. He didn't know her name yet, but she was so gorgeous and hot. Puck was stunned by her beauty. Her blonde hair, slim figure, tan skin, and blue eyes. Without any doubt, Puck danced with her.

After that, they introduced each other. Turns out, she was a professional fashion model who often works with Matthew Hamming. Her name is Marina Prattle. Unexpectedly, she was a great kisser as well.

He took her home, and they did it.

Seriously, Selfie after woohoo, Puck? Were you proud because you slept with a supermodel?

But Marina is so, so pretty. She's the most beautiful female premade sim in Bridgeport indeed.

Meanwhile, when he went back home:

Angela: *chef's kiss* I know, I'm the best chef in this city. No one can beat me.

Lilith: this tastes like fish loaded with fuel and garbage instead of grilled salmon. What the hell was she thinking? Did she put some shit in this dish?

Dirk: sshh, don't say that, Lil. I know you guys still hating each other, but you have to respect your sister's cooking.

Johnny: it's not so bad to me. Maybe she put too much salt on it.

Ophelia: OMG, I'm afraid my allergic reaction would relapse if I finished this meal. What if I'm suffocated? What if I got eczema because of this fish? What if I suddenly collapsed on the floor and had a seizure? What if...

Dirk: Relax, Ophelia. I'm a doctor. You're fine right now, isn't it? Don't worry too much about everything. And remember, you're allergic to catfish instead of salmon.

Ophelia: well, we have to be prepared for the worst. I'm not overthinking.

Puck: *Smiling alone*

Ophelia: What the hell are you smiling about, Puck? Are you laughing at me? Are you started going nuts?

Puck: No, no. I just remembered about Marina Prattle, my new girlfriend.

Lilith: *rolls eyes*

Meanwhile, Ripp wasn't eating with his housemates because he watched TV instead. He's so cute, isn't he? 😍

And this is the alternative/old version of Dustin Broke before I gave him plastic surgery to make him look "tougher". But I think he was still handsome in this version as well.

Bonus Picture: Bentley 3 consisting of Lilith-Ripp-Puck debuted as a band at the park.

#puck summerdream #angela pleasant #dirk dreamer #johnny smith #lilith pleasant #dustin broke #ripp grunt #ophelia nigmos #squad #bentley 8 #sims 3 story #sims 3 late night #sims 3 screenshots #marina prattle #sims 2 premades #sims 2 characters

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dashnite · 2 years

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I hope I don’t come across as judgmental, but if you’re under the suspicion of being pregnant, why are you drinking? I understand that you’re trying to curve your appetite by ingesting fluids, but beer is the absolute worst and could cause the most harm to your baby, especially bc it’s in its most crucial developmental stages. Since you’re still in the air about whether you’re pregnant or not, switch to water. Just until you’re 100% sure you’re not pregnant, and if you are, then that beer needs to be as far from you as possible.

Also, the vomiting pure stomach acid on an empty stomach is totally normal even while not pregnant. This has happened to me several times when I’ve let too much time pass between meals, ie I puke on a Tuesday morning and my last meal was Monday breakfast. This has happened to a lot of dudes I knew in high school who were on the wrestling team when they’d go extreme diets to switch weight classes, so vomiting on an empty stomach doesn’t necessarily mean you’re pregnant. This is very normal.

Another thing, if you are pregnant, you can still take bipolar medication, the only thing that will change is the dosage. I think I remember you saying you use quetiapine? That’s a common alternative medication many bipolar women take during pregnancy(my own sister used this). Nonetheless, please consult with your physician about your medication and what effects it would have during a pregnancy bc some medications can cause birth defects during the first trimester.

I really, really don’t want to sound judgmental, but I do find myself agreeing with your sister. You’re living off of commissions and d*nations and to say that you “have 9 months to figure it out” is false reassurance, because theres still a matter of medical bills accompanied with pregnancy to consider, not to mention, I assume you’ll have to consult with a physician and what effects the T injections you were taking might have on your pregnancy. And to say that those that follow you won’t let you struggle while with a baby is not right. That’s verging on manipulation, or at least the wording comes across that way. What I’m trying to say and possibly failing at expressing is that I’m very worried for you and your potential baby. That baby won’t be our responsibility, it will be yours. And Erik, if he continues to accept responsibility. Your parents may help you for a certain amount of time, but it’s not their responsibility either.

I genuinely wish you nothing but the best, but I do think that some of the planning you intend on spreading out through nine months be more condensed into a shorter time period.

alright, this is uh, too many things in an ask. i'm sorry if i miss anything, tumblr mobile only lets me see my answer and not your ask, so if i skip over any subject, let me know.

okay, let's do this by parts. i was drinking that day becase i had BRL R$ 8 (not enough for food) and i needed to stop the hunger. i recognize it was DUMB AS HELL in retrospect, seeing that i may be pregnant, but i didnt think, and i'm sorry for that. hunger was my #1 priority at that point.

i didn't know vomiting stomach acid was common! i thought it happened to me (twice) because of either pregnancy, alcohol or food poisoning. i haven't been eating very good since my parents left me here alone with no food (until sunday), so it might be because of hunger. thank you for that info!

i will consult with my endocrinologist and my psychiatrist to see what meds i'm allowed to take. also yeah you're right, i take quetiapine in a dosage appropriate for bipolar mood disorder (less is against depression and more is against seizures, so i'm smack in the middle of the dosage).

i'm sorry my words came across as manipulative! that was never my intention, i swear. it's just that y'all help me so much, i dont believe y'all would cross your arms and sit by while i'm with child and not eating properly. i could point out some names but the paypal/ko-fi system shows only the birth name and the last thing i want is to deadname anyone.

Erik is on board with everything, also he has a job, but he can be... hard to reach, to say the least. he has ADHD so he reads the messages and then forgets to answer. this drives me crazy and i already told him that i don't like it, and he promised he would be there more for me and baby. i truly hope he keeps his promess.

also, please, you sound like you have your shit way more together than i do. what would you do in my place? how can this planning be condensed in a shorter period? i'll be expecting another ask from you soon hopefully!

and again, if i feel malicious intent in the ask, i WILL call it out. Your ask comes from a place of worry and love. i'm not that good at reading tone through the internet, but you didn't sound judgemental at all. don't worry about that k? and thank you for the ask. i was in need of a calling to the real world.

#answers #anonymous #pregnancy tag #long post

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fortitudinous · 2 years

Text

Unheard - Mental Health and Suicidal Thoughts

When you type into google "Would anyone care if I wasn't here anymore" the top search engine result is the Samariatians. You might wonder why I know that... but if you are wondering, you are not listening. I am exhausted. Mentally struggling. Emotionally wrung out and physically a wreak. My skin tone right now would be described as sallow. The bags under my eyes numerous from lack of sleep. Various aliments leave me in physical pain and discomfort. I look like shite, I feel like shite.

This isn't my first rodeo with struggling with my mental wellbeing and it's probably a good thing - because otherwise I probably wouldn't recognise the suicidal thoughts for what they are and what they mean. I wouldn't be practiced in initiating every coping strategy at my disposal to not go down that road. But for the first time in over a decade I have begun struggling with wanting to self harm. There I said it out loud. I would like to say in making that particular confession that I haven't acted on those thoughts... but the truth is there's been a couple of occasions in recent weeks when I have been so overwhelmed with anger that I have bitten my hand leaving teeth indentations and bruises. It has prevented me from curling up in a ball and screaming uncontrollably but it is a sign of how much pain I am in, that physical pain is needed to drown it out.

How have I got to this place? The short version is CoVid, my business blowing up because of CoVid and accompanying financial worries, two years without having a break from being Mum of two disabled kids, one of which had a seizure in January 2021 and explosive onset of Tourettes leading to having to pull them out of school in the middle of their GCSE assessments, balancing work with the effort need to navigate all the agencies involved because of my kids disabilities, trying to work whilst home schooling and navigating lockdown with two disabled kids, losing all of the support (such as respite) that was in place, building work not being finished and the realisation that our family are isolated, and without community. Mix in my Mum having a masectomy mid LD3, being wrongly accused of causing a car accident that didn't happen (it was dropped but meant I lived for three months with a police investigation hanging over my head) and a breast cancer scare of my own... and it's been a constant malestrom of things to overcome. I am lucky I have saint for a husband, but my steady rock, who is NOT prone to mental health problems is suffering too. If there were a warning system for a family in trouble we would have all the hazard lights blinking red.

I haven't pretended that we are okay. Both me and my husband are definitely suffering from parental burnout. I have asked for help, being open about how much we are struggling. I have spoken to our TAC officer assigned to our family from social services explaining how much we are struggling. I have reached out to a carers charity. Heck I even rang the samaritarians up one morning at 3am when things were really bad... only to be interrupted by my son freaking out. In July my son's therapist told me he was worried about me, and suggested we need to take time out. When? How?

Failed attempts to help

In August my brother was going to take the kids out for one day to give us a break, and later in the same week my parents were also going to take the kids out for the day. On the day my brother took my kids to Thorpe Park my husband and I spent a glorious six hours kid free. We mooched around a gallery, had afternoon tea on the terrace over looking the sea, soaking up the sun and breathing in the peace and quiet. It was glorious. But my brother came back from Thorpe Park earlier than planned because my daughter had a headache. That night at 1am in the morning I ended up in A&E with my daughter who had caught CoVid. The next day with the whole family taking lateral flow tests and my brother in law testing positive, we packed up our stuff, drove 5 hours home without stopping and lived with CoVid in our home for ten days. Not an easy thing to do with a germaphobic son. So much for our restorative time out.

In September I posted on FB asking for help. Only one person responded with an offer of help... and then kept cancelling on us. We were members of a community church for over 20 years. My husband and I met in church, married in church, had both our kids in church. All our big life events as adults took place in the context of that church. In June 2019 I made the decision to leave the church over doctrinal differences. My church pastor asked me if I was leaving the church or leaving the community. I said I was leaving the church and was told to "remember that." My husband and kids are still, to all intents and purposes, members of the church. Two weeks before Lockdown 1 my daughter was baptised by the church in a local swimming pool. But we haven't heard from our "community" for 18 months. No one has checked in on us since Lockdown 1. Not our pastor, not the elders of the church, nor the majority of our "friends." We are ghosts. We are on our own.

Since the FB post I've spoken to my brother who offered to come and visit for the weekend, giving my husband and I an opportunity to spend a day at a spa and book a night away in a hotel. Our first night away from the kids since 2019. It was all booked and sorted but then my brother, for good reasons, rang last week to say he couldn't do it. We've sorted it but rather than it being 'easy' - there's a lot of faffing around involved. The end of November can't come soon enough.

Would anyone care if I wasn't here?

And so that invasive thought has begun to get louder. Whirling around my inner dialogue multiple times a day. I see it for what it is, but as exhausted as I am, sometimes it is easier to leave it swirling than take the steps needed to bat it away. Last week it become more invasive, more insistent taking up my cognitive energy, vigorously robbing me of peace and calm. And so I decided to do the opposite of what I was feeling I could cope with. I invited everyone I knew to an open house to reunite, reconnect and hang out. No agenda, just friends coming together. Over eighty people were invited directly by me and an open invitation was posted on FB and our streets Whatsapp. But last night, after an hour, no one had showed up and I lay down on my bed and sobbed.

You see, I had told myself my feeling of isolation was all in my head because I was feeling vulnerable and tired. My perspective, like my mental health is squiffy. People did care, I have friends, lots of friends, I just needed to reach out and not allow my feelings of isolation lead to behaviours that isolated me from others.

Eventually four people turned up. But not a single one of my neighbours came. Nor did anyone else from our extensive community that we had been part of for two decades. Our open house invitation is open for two more Saturday evenings, so perhaps more people will turn up next week. But, given my currently destructive thought patterns the feeling of isolation that has been plaguing me for months is viseral and toxic. This morning I woke up with heart palpitations as the anxiety begins to morph into physical symptoms of panic.

We didn't know anything was wrong

There are too many social media posts appearing on streams from friends or family of people who have committed suicide. The posts invariably say something about people not realising anything was wrong. They also say something along the lines of make sure you ask for help. Well, I have been asking for help for most of 2021. I even plainly said in my September FB post "I need practical help not platitudes" to which someone commented; "you are so strong." FFS.

Since April I have openly been saying, when asked how I am doing, that I am struggling with my mental wellbeing, that I am tired, exhausted, feeling vulnerable... and since September, I have been saying that I am feeling isolated. Two months ago I emailed our TAC officer that I was beginning to have thoughts about self harming. So either people aren't hearing me or they are not listening to what I am saying.

Over to you I can talk about this stuff because I really don't care if you think I am a basket case. I am still functioning. I am still smashing it at work and I know I will navigate "this" with or without help from my absent friends and neighbours. But the reason for this post is because if this is happening to me - Mrs So Transparent I am like Cellophane, then there is a huge problem happening. Everyone, including YOU needs to wake up and smell the roses. I want you to really think about your friends, your family, colleagues and neighbours. To what extent are their cries for help remaining unheard? We need to stop giving platitudes and lip service to "being there" for others. We need to see, really see, those who need help and well, fucking well BE THERE giving real help when and wherever it is needed. Who needs your help? Pick up the phone. Drop round their house. Send them a message. Do it NOW. Don't wait until the unheard become another suicide.

#mental health #support #be there #community #mental illness #friends

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deputy-ajay-ghale · 4 years

Note

write a one shot on the headcannon where Abigael is dying and Parker saves her by being a demon again?

Hi, nonny, I'm so sorry this took me months! I've never actually written anything for Charmed so getting into that headspace is tougher than just doing some headcanons, but I did it! And with a higher word count than I intended! I'll put the first scene here and the rest on my AO3 bc.. stats and shameless self promotion for my other works.

TW for seizures

The re-reintroduction of Parker into the Charmed Ones lives, as well as the semi permanent presence of Abigael meant a number of things.

For starters, the amount of time spent in each other’s company, which of course was no issue for the holders of the Power of Three and their Whitelighter. The same could not be said for Alastor’s offspring who would get called to the Vera home to lend their assistance.

Things between them weren’t smooth. Abigael never apologized for stabbing her half brother and he stood firm in his belief that imprisoning her without a trial was within reason. Them still having this argument wouldn't be so bad if they weren't constantly devolving into shouting matches within earshot of the Veras. If Mel had to hear Abigael say one more time that Parker wasn't fit to be the Demon Overlord-

Maggie, ever the peacekeeper and empath, tried to help mend the broken bond (if it could even be called a bond) between brother and sister to little success. Well, neither of them or any innocent bystanders were dead, so that was a step in the right direction. On the other hand, the fact that Parker was fully mortal and for the most part could not defend himself against his older sibling's wrath did not stop Abigael from using the simplest of spells on him. What's a little vertigo spell between family?

Because of the Faction's unfortunately growing threat to the magical community, both Caines were expected to stay close to the Charmed Ones for everyone's safety. Even Ray had been talked into staying with them because of his connection to mystical relics. Being too safe was better than losing someone to Julian and Vivienne.

The rules were simple.

Abigael, Jordan, and Parker must meet with the Vera household every Friday

Any and all plans against the Faction are to be discussed as a team

Daily notifications of each other's whereabouts when not in ones home

Normal attendance at day jobs is still mandatory*

No drawing attention to oneself

Parker, Jordan, and Ray are not allowed to go out without a magical escort**

*No taking unnecessary time off. **The exception is the named persons being together.

For obvious reasons, that last rule didn't sit well with those affected. The argument that ensued when it was raised for debate had been heated and lengthy. None of the humans were fond of the idea that they couldn't handle themselves against human threats, but the Vera sisters stood their ground and stressed the importance of their safety and promised to let them have free passes to complain about it for the rest of their lives if they manage to take down the Faction without anyone getting kidnapped.

It wasn't much, but when Abigael threatened the human men with fire, the arguing ceased. Macy and Maggie weren't particularly happy with the undiplomatic method, but they couldn't turn their nose at the results it produced. Yes, Jordan wasn't happy having to be picked up from his apartment by the Veras to go to work, Ray gave his Torito and Little Bug half pout, half Disappointed Dad Stares from across the room, and Parker-

Well, there was no knowing who was in a more foul mood: Abigael or Parker. All Parker wanted was to get groceries for the little AirBnB he was hiding at, and his dear half sister glared daggers and huffed like the concept of him starving to death would be less painful to live with over having to accompany him to a Fred Meyer.

"Rip me off a bag, would ya?" he asked while grabbing a Granny Smith apple to inspect.

"I would rather tear my arm off than do that," Abigael replied.

"Have you always been so dramatic?" Parker reached around the exiled Demon Overlord to retrieve a produce bag. "Or is this just how you are when you're not indulging in hedonistic instincts?"

"What can I say, Parky larky, you just have that effect on me. Being around you is like dumping an invasive species into an environment in which it does not belong."

"Wow, maybe you should've become a writer with that line."

Their bickering didn't cease at that or the end of the produce area, the longstanding distrust and mutual dislike was far too strong to stop before Parker's mental shopping list was finished. Abigael criticized the AXE he tossed into his cart and he deliberately took his time smelling candles to piss her off. There was only so many times a man needed to smell the same lavender candle to decide if he wanted to buy it.

For three blessedly, peaceful minutes, the younger Caine thought his half sister had tired herself out with her unending bellyaching. He added a watermelon lemonade scented candle to his basket before picking up a sandalwood one he thought would be a nice, small gift for Maggie.

"Okay, Abby, I'm done," Parker announced as he spun on his heel to stare at said woman's more than likely scowling face.

Except she wasn't standing behind him like he thought she was.

"Abigael?"

He looked to his right where the mouth of the aisle was where hey came from and didn't see her, so he turned his head to the left-

"Abigael!"

Parker abandoned his cart to run to the demon-witch, she was on her side with a viscous, black liquid pooled underneath her head and the source being her half open mouth. Without an ounce of caution, the former Overlord wiped away the fluid with his sleeve. When more of the substance spilled from Abigael's lips, her brother looked around desperately for a conveniently close shopper.

A scream for help got caught in his throat as soon as it worked its way up from his diaphragm. The idea that this was a deliberate move by the Faction to capture Alastor's living children for experimentation and wheedle out the Charmed Ones lit up his frontal lobe like a meteor shower at night. A new wave of fear hit Parker as he unconsciously pulled Abigael close to him.

He had to act fast. The Faction could be anywhere, do anything, and he was literally powerless to stop them.

A sick, burbling sound came from Abigael. The noise furthered Parker's resolve and he hoisted the older woman into his arms. They weren't too far from the entrance, if he ran fast enough, even with all the human civilians around, the Faction couldn't risk exposing themselves in such a manner. Parker on the other hand…

The curly haired man held his sister tight to his chest and bolted for the doors. He could protect them, at least until they could safely find their way to the Vera house.

For the rest...

#abigael caine #parker caine #charmed 2018 #charmed related #anon ask #my fanfics #requesting nonnies

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iluvzfewdnstoreyz · 5 years

Text

Nightmare Dream Home

Afew years ago my ex husband and I moved our new little family into a cute 3 bedroom little house. It was painted blue, and therefore has since been called the blue house. The 1st week there we were in our living room watching television, when a massive shadow went up the wall behind us, onto the ceiling where a mist formed with it. It moved across the ceiling down the hallway and disappeared into the nursery. I was a die hard skeptic at this time. My ex husband asked me if I saw it. I am ashamed to say, I told him I had and that it was merely someones headlights outside. He argued that the windows were not near any road and the mist was not explained by this theory. I shrugged it off and accepted my explanation anyway.

We began having experiences hearing footsteps running down the hallway to bathroom; banging and scratching on the walls; toys turning on and off without batteries; hearing children cry outside the nursery window; large shadow and mists movement daily; a full body apparition of a woman, the kids complaining they could not sleep because "they" would not leave them alone; cold spots, lights flickering and going off, sounds of heavy furniture being moved around in the vacant bedroom; the television coming on and or going off on its own accompanied by an odd high pitched hum and sometimes a faint sound of music. I continued to find explanations for these events and ignored what I could.

As things escalated everyone in the household experienced nightmares, and some of us began sleep walking. I was one of them and I had the most frequent episodes. I would wake up under the kitchen table; on the floor in odd places; and even outside. There would be mud on my feet and other signs I had been outside. My family said I would have my eyes open but I did not respond to them like myself and I seemed vacant.

We were advised to try and get EVP. To talk to it. To ask questions. Doing this was our undoing.

We caught some low class EVP's in the question and answering stage. Nothing alarming or conclusive. Following our EVP session when we went to bed something growled. I was in bed and my ex husband was reaching up to the ceiling fan to turn the light off leaving the fan on. Something growled angrily from the foot of the bed. I thought it was our dog. I found her at my mother's feet, in the den, where she had been when I left to go to bed. We searched our property outside and found nothing. Even after all that I was convinced some stray or even my dog growling must be what we heard.

Later that night I woke to something strange. My computer monitor was visible at the foot of the bed. Standing in front of the monitor was the silhouette of my shirtless ex husband. His back was to me and he was just standing there. I called out to him but he didn't answer or turn around. Something told me to look at his side of the bed. I did and nothing was there. I looked back and my husband had vanished into thin air.

I realized that what I had seen couldn't have been a person. I smelled something burning. Then the covers began to be pulled down off of me. I froze. The air conditioner was a window unit. It began to beep and go from low fan to medium fan to high fan then back to low over and over. In unison with each fan cycle change the blinds were flipping open and shut, along with banging on the walls.

I suddenly became a little girl. I felt like all the air hang been sucked out of my body. I could not take air in to make a sound. I am embarrassed to say I urinated on myself. When I finally could take air, I gasped and began screaming for my mother like a child. I mustered the courage to finally move and reached for the door knob next to the bed. At that moment my husband came in and flipped the light on at which point it all stopped. He had been in the bathroom vomiting. His mysterious illness stopped right then as well.

I looked for a new home. I no longer was the skeptic.

Before moving I found a necklace on my dresser one day. I thought it was left there as a gift so I put it on thinking nothing of it. A couple days later I woke to a blinding headache. My husband got up to get my migraine medicine but fainted just outside our bedroom. I got up and went down too. I crawled to the kids room. I found my son first. I got him aroused enough to help walk him outside. I went back into the house for my daughter and husband. My husband crawled out while I located our daughter. She was 3 at the time. I found her tiny little body blue and unresponsive in her bedroom. I drug her out the front door thinking after I called 911 I would return to the home and lay down. I believed my daughter dead and wished to follow. My thinking was very muddled.

I went in and retrieved the phone. Passing out twice in this process. When I returned to the front door, my daughter's eyes were open. So I laid down in the yard and called for help. When paramedics and firemen arrived, I was told we had carbon monoxide poisoning. The firemen said 30 per square feet was lethal. My home was over 500 per square feet. Just short of barbecuing in the living room, no explanation for those levels was found in the home. No one in my family knew where the necklace had come from. I removed it at the hospital and left it there.

We moved shortly after that. The last night everyone was at our new home while I was at the blue house cleaning so we could collect our deposit. I was tired from the night before. The whispers and banging on the walls were relentless. I was in my bedroom when someone knocked on the door. I went and looked through the peephole and see the silhouette of a man I believed to be the neighbor across the street. I saw him lean down and look into the peep hole, then a bright light behind him appears and he turned and walked away. I opened the door and no one was there.

After shutting the door I realize he had stooped down to look in the peep hole at me. How is that possible I thought. He wasn't taller than me. Anxiety hits as it begins to hit me that the tall man could not have been my neighbor or any normal human being. My lungs seize up. I rush to the bedroom to get my rescue inhaler out of my purse.

That's the last thing I remember. The next thing I can recall I am slamming into a wall, falling from a standing position. I am in the living room. I am freezing. I have never been so cold. I looked around and was very confused about where I was. I didn't recognize it without the furnishings.

I am so cold my jaw was chattering. I wander briefly through the home trying to get my bearings as to where I am. I go into the bathroom. At this point, I begin to have a dejavu feeling, like I know, that I know this place, but I can not put it together in my head. It is fuzzy and slow moving.

I am desperate to get warm. I can see in the mirror that my lips are blue. "What the hell is wrong with me" I think. I begin filling the tub with hot water and I strip quickly climbing in.

As the water fills and my body begins to warm I see my cell phone on the floor next to the tub. It must have fallen out of my bra when I was undressing. I used to keep my cell phone in my bra along with money etc. I pick it up and call my husband.

When he answered I started crying. "I just woke up. I'm so cold."

He was frantic, "where are you! Where have you been! I have been calling you for hours. You didn't come home!"

I looked around the bathroom. I finally recognized it. I told him I was at the blue house.

"Babe where have you Been? We last spoke over 5 hours ago. Its 3am." He said.

I took about half an hour to warm my body enough that I would get out of the tub. My husband came and got me. I was too confused to even figure out how to get home on my own. I can not express how terrifying this was.

It turned out the man I thought I saw had passed away.

I don't know what I was doing in that 5 hours. It's scary to be up doing things with no recollection of it.

I don't know what happened to me that night or why. Seizure maybe? I try not to think about it.

We have continued to have issues, but very mild in comparison. We did lose one of our children to suicide about a year after moving. I can't help wonder if it had anything to do with what attacked me. Had it attacked him after leaving the blue house? He left no note. I am left never knowing.

I have accepted that there are no answers for me. My best friend lives next door to the blue house. She says that the new neighbors do not complain of having any issues. She had experienced something every time she had come into the blue house when I lived there. She has not experienced anything while on any of her visits to the new neighbors. I am too terrified to even pass the house. I do not visit her in her home. She comes to visit me.

I am a shadow of the person I once was. The events at the blue house severely traumatized me and my family. My son's death sent me over the edge into a full nervous breakdown. Which is not as dramatic as it may sound. I simply quit functioning. I closed myself off from the world and just stopped. I could not remember how to do a job I had done daily for 5 years. I had to be walked through it daily until I was terminated. I cried so much that my face was chapped all the time. Even now, 4 years later, I am struggling to reclaim my life. I pray no one else comes into contact with whatever that thing was.

Thanks for reading my story. Sharing it helps me let it go and heal. I am open to alternate explanations and discussions. You do not have to agree with me, and you can even think I am crazy. I only ask that you be respectful. Crazy or not, my life has been shattered into pieces because of what I experienced. Thank you. Shine on.

#fewdnstoreyz #ghoststories #ghoststoriesfromtherez #ghosts #ghost #ghost stories #skinwalker #stickmen

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