#*memory issues intensify*

[delulufortoji]

HOW MANY TIMES? - toji fushiguro

pairing: toji x fem!reader

summary: you and toji have been together for over a year, but every time you say you love him, he never seems to be able to say it back…

word count: ~3k

content: 18+, modern au, established relationship, oral, overstim

notes: i was sick, tired, suffering from jjk brain rot, and it was like 1 in the morning when i wrote this so it might seem like some straight bullshit 😅 and this is like the first jjk fic i’ve ever written, so yeahhh

You still remember the night you two met, the memory ingrained clearly in your mind: it was a stormy afternoon, nature raging outside with branches scratching against your windows and leaves beating on the glass. The sky above darkened, the warm drizzle mixed with the humid breeze. Gray clouds drifted overhead, bringing a sudden chilling wind and shower with them, causing water to flow down the pathways and pool into puddles. The air itself carried an earthy scent, and the wilting leaves from the trees gracefully descended to join the wet ground. The soothing sound of rain trickling down the window added to the enchantment of the moment.

And then, there he was, behind your door, a strikingly toned and towering figure, utterly drenched, his hair clinging to his face, hands tucked in the pockets of his pants, and a subtle, intriguing smile playing on his lips. “Hey, can I stay here for a couple of days until the storm blows over? I ain’t got anywhere else to go.” He asked, his voice low and laced with a hint of vulnerability.

You could feel your jaw drop, your cheeks flushed with a mixture of shyness and amazement. This man…he was undeniably handsome—his bold and quiet confidence, his voice, his charming smile, all of it made your heart throb. “S—Sure…” you muttered, “ you can stay here.”

“There’s no need to be shy,” he chuckled, “I’ll be gone and outta your hair in a couple of days.”

The blush in your cheeks deepened. “Yeah, okay,” you replied shyly, avoiding his icy gaze, “go sit by the heater to warm yourself up. I’ll go get you a towel so you can shower.”

“Alright, then.” The man said with a sly grin.

You don’t quite recall how, but somehow “warming up” took on a different meaning than intended: you soon found yourself entangled with him, your body sweating underneath his touch, his hips meeting yours in monstrous thrusts. The room resonated with the sounds of your moans and his grunts, the intensity of the moment overwhelming both of you.

“F—Fuck Toji…slow down…” you gasped amidst the pleasure.

“Shh,” he whispered, silencing you by plunging his digits into your mouth, “the only sound I wanna hear is the sound of your pussy purring.” Toji's pace intensified, his grip on your hips growing more possessive. You couldn't contain your ecstasy, climaxing as fire surged through your body. His thrusts grew erratic, and his breath quickened in tandem with your movements.

On a high of both pleasure and euphoria, you did as Toji said—you let your pussy talk for you, breathlessly blurting out: “I love you, Toji.

“...Heh, do ya really?” A response less than what you expected. But the wave of pleasure that coursed through your body was too much for you to inject, to express your dissatisfaction at his answer.

As the days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, Toji's presence became a permanent fixture in your life. He moved in, sharing the burdens of rent and groceries with a part-time job, allowing you to take more breaks. Yet, amidst this peaceful coexistence, there remained a lingering issue—those three words you so desperately wanted to hear repeated. Each time you uttered "I love you," Toji's response fell short, often met with laughter or a casual "Okay," leaving your heart yearning for the affirmation you craved.

You glance at him now from where you are: in the dimly lit room he sits, his eyes stuck on the dull glow of the phone in his hand. On instinct, you make your way over to Toji, settling into his lap, your fingers delicately toying with the fine ends of his hair.

A soft chuckle escapes his lips as he meets your gaze, curiosity dancing in his eyes. “What’s wrong, doll?”

You offer no answer, instead, you continue to run your fingers through the strands, captivated by the finely sculpted features of the man before you: his features seem meticulously crafted, each detail carefully considered in the making of Toji’s face, from the angular lines of his cheekbones to the gentle slope of his chiseled jawline. His pale, pink lips curve perpetually in a sly smirk, and his dark eyes hold an untamed intensity that ensnares your attention. You can’t help but be enamored, can’t resist the urge to confess, "I love you."

Another light laugh escapes his lips. "I know."

A heavy silence envelops you, leaving you taken aback by his lackluster response. Toji, still engrossed in his phone, finally asks, "Is there a problem?”

You can't help but press further, frustration building. “How many times do I have to say it before you say it back?”

"Say what back?"

You scoff. "You know what I meant." A hint of frustration colors your tone as you shift in his lap, turning away from him.

Toji pauses for a moment, carefully considering his words. "Baby, you know how I feel about you," he eventually concedes, though it seems more like a half-hearted attempt to soothe your emotions.

He doesn’t mean to be disingenuous, doesn’t mean to hurt you with his lack of a response. You know him well enough to know he isn’t one to verbally express how he feels, nor is he one to blurt “I love you’s”, but part of you had hoped that would change after a year of being together.

A frown etches itself into your features as you stand up, turning to the door. "You don't mean that."

“Where are you going?" He calls after you, a slight layer of concern evident in his voice.

"To sleep."

Determined not to let you go, Toji follows you into the room, pulling you closer by your waist. “C’mon baby. You know I ain’t mean to make you mad.”

“But you did.”

“I’m sorry, baby,” he croons, resting his forehead on the nape of your neck, pressing light kisses to your skin. “My bad.” He turns you around so that you’re facing him, arms crossed.

“What do you want?” You ask.

A slight smirk plays on Toji’s lips as he inches closer—by now, you two are stuck in an intimate proximity, his breath tickling your face. Just being this close to you is enough temptation for him to pull you into a deep, passionate kiss, his rough hands cradling your face. “Let me make it up to you.” He whispers, his warm breath mingling with yours.

His lips curve into a smile on yours as he presses you down onto the bed. Toji positions himself between your thighs, his lips never leaving yours, not even for a second. His touch ignites a passionate fire as he explores your body, his tongue tracing a scorching path from your lips, down your neck, and further, leaving you breathless with desire.

“Toji…keep going…” As your pleasure mounts, you can't help but moan his name, encouraging him further. His hands explore your inner thighs, spreading his warmth, his kisses become more insistent. His tongue moves lazily down your panties, the subtle friction from the stubble on his chin heightening the sensations. Your breath quickens, and your thighs quiver as he slowly slides his thumb over the moist fabric of your underwear before deftly moving it aside.

Toji's breath, hot and tantalizing, teases your sensitive flesh, his lips hovering mere inches from your core. His eyes, heavy with desire, meet yours for a fleeting moment, and a mischievous smirk tugs at his lips. "Still shy, even after all this time?" he teases, his voice a low, seductive rumble. "C'mon, girl, put it on me."

“Stop talking,” You say, dropping yourself down his face, wrapping your legs around his neck, “just make this quick.”

“I’ll make it anything but.” His response is a wicked promise in itself. You barely manage to hold back a whimper when Toji dives into his task, latching his mouth onto your pussy, his tongue exploring every inch of your pulsating walls.

“Toji…” you moan, gripping his hair, pushing his head further down.

You lose yourself to the sensation, clenching from the pace of his tongue. Your hips begin to move on sheer instinct, riding his face—your fingers are tangled up in his hair, your fists tugging on his soft locks. You’re grinding on him, your body craving every sensation, every touch, every flick of his skilled tongue, and twitching every time something grazes your folds—Toji is so damn ruthless with his tongue that it has you feeling high, like you’re on cloud nine. His every touch, no matter how brief, drives you to the brink, leaving you in a blissful state of disarray.

“To–Toji…more…” Toji’s nose-deep now, the tip of it rubbing against your sensitive clit. He brings his head up, taking a moment to breathe. He’s gasping for air, his face is slick with your essence. He swallows and then after a couple of seconds, he goes right back to sucking.

He’d almost forgotten how good you tasted—a few minutes was enough to get him hooked on you all over again, getting hard at the sound of your whines echoing through the room. His tongue is running laps like a track star, only gaining in speed with each moan you emit. Each gasp, each whimper only pushes him closer to the brink of his desire.

He needed more of your moans, more of your sweet taste, more of you—he had lost himself in his cravings, only desperate for you. His strong hands trace your inner thigh, savoring the taste as he lavishes your pussy with his saliva, worshiping your wetness with his mouth. He laps at your cunt like a starved man–like the taste of you is all the nutrition he needs.

“I’m—I’m gonna…” you gasp, but he ignores you and just keeps going, his tongue working your clit, just the way you like it. He let his eyes close in ecstasy, feeling you as your hips bucked up into his mouth, groaning at the sensation. “Toji, please…” you whimpered, your need reaching its peak. He’s still going, making you wait until he’s finished eating, until you’re a fucking mess—until you’re quivering, reduced to incoherent pleas just to come. After a couple more minutes of teasing you, of edging you, he finally grants you the release you crave. As he lifts his mouth from your pulsing core, you can only grip his hair tighter, gasping his name until you can finally come down from the intense high.

He slides his mouth up to your lips, his mouth smooth and buttery on yours—the sheer thought of tasting yourself on his tongue right after he had just eaten you out was disgusting, but you can’t be bothered when Toji feels this good.

He stares at you, a grin playing on his lips. “You forgive me now?” he asks, a glint of mischief in his eyes.

You shake your head, huffing out the words: “Sh–shut up, Toji.”

He looks at you with a cocky smirk, his hair matted to his face, his breathing heavy, but his dark blue eyes, normally cold and distant, are now aflame with longing and desire—he said without words what he rarely admitted with him.

“Open wide.” He says, his voice a low, sultry rumble.

You take off your shirt and lie down on your back, legs spread out—you look so fucking hot for him, sprawled out like this, your pussy soaking wet and on full display. You’re an irresistible vision of his desire, every curve of your form a masterpiece in his eyes. God, he can almost feel himself stretching you out and you clenching, tightening around him, and he’s not even inside you yet.

He can’t bear to wait any longer, can’t bear to hold it in—he’s throbbing, desperate to plunge into you, to be buried deep within your warmth. He needs to be balls deep inside of you, right fucking now. Toji brings out his cock with a groan, and god, is he full and aching to be inside you—only you could ever get him this hard.

He pulls your hips closer to him, dick poised at your entrance. “C’mon girl,” he says with a slight grunt, a hint of impatience in his voice. That’s when he slowly begins his descent into you, inch by inch—he’s not even fully in, but his tip alone is enough to steal a small gasp from your lips.

You stare at him and whimper, feeling him as he forces himself deeper. He is so big—his thick, rigid shaft glides within your velvety folds, leaving you trembling and powerless to resist. You bite your lower lip to stifle your cries, completely lost in the waves of lust that crash over you. “To…Toji…” You’re already babbling as he buries himself balls deep into you. Toji’s hips slap against yours once—a single thrust already has you moaning, salivating at the sensation, arms wrapped around his neck.

With your hand pinned above your head, fingers interlocked with his, Toji rocks into you with an intensity that borders on primal. His forehead is nestled in the crook of your neck, his ragged and hot breath caressing your soft skin, his free hand claiming every inch of your skin as his own. He’s pistoning his hips with a purpose, stretching you open with each thrust, the physical sensation and the raw intimacy between you both like a potent drug. Toji focuses on the tight heat of your walls around his cock, the way your hips meet his rhythm, the delicious way you clench around him as his dick stretches your pussy out. It should be illegal how good you feel to him right now.

“Fuck, you feel so good.” Toji murmurs in your ear, his voice a husky, sensuous melody that rings through the room. “Keep doin’ what you’re doin’.”

His words are so provocative, so disgusting, yet so fucking hot—they make you want to continue, to keep teasing him with the way you feel to the point where his cock is twitching, throbbing inside of your wet heat, to the point where he can’t thrust into you anymore.

“M-More.” Your whining intensified—his movements are becoming sloppier, his thrusts beginning to lose their pattern as he loses himself in the melody of your cries and the intoxicating sensations you provide. His tip is just attacking your sweet spot, stealing those beautiful noises out from your mouth. Toji can’t focus anymore, can’t maintain his rhythm—you’re just too damn loud for him to think about anything else but you: the way your lips part each time you moan, the way your nails dig into the muscles on his back, the way you writhe under him.

The pace of his hips quicken, the beautifully lewd sound of his balls slapping against your ass and your moans filling the room. “Fuuuckkk—” Toji grunts. Just one round with you has him in disarray—his black strands are a mess, drenched with sweat, his ruffled hair obscuring his vision with how it fell over his eyes. But even in this fevered state, he’s fucking you like there’s no tomorrow, his relentless thrusts making your throbbing core scream for more.

“Toji…Toji…” His dick throbs each time his name falls from your beautiful lips in breathy cries, saliva dripping from the corners of your mouth. His lips find yours in fervent kisses, his navy blue eyes locked onto yours as his hips meet yours with increasing urgency.

He’s so damn rough with you, but he can’t help it, especially when you feel like a slice of heaven—he’s ruthlessly fucking you into the bed, grunts escaping his mouth every time he does so. You’re stuck in a passionate trance, each strike to your core, vigorous and accurate—fuck, it’s got your throbbing pussy yearning out for more.

“Goddamn, Toji—” You stammer, rendered incapable of finishing your sentence, shuddering with the hypnotizing movement of Toji’s hips, with the intoxicating feel of him inside of his body. His thick cock is being engulfed by your sheer warmth, each pulse only stretching you out more. “S–so good.”

Toji grumbles, and you whimper as his base repeatedly strikes you, his every thrust taking you deeper. You're lost in the heady pleasure, your core gripping him tightly, refusing to let go, making him push harder and faster.

The repeated sound of his skin slapping against yours becomes a relentless symphony of pleasure: slap, slap, slap. He’s losing himself even more, completely drunk off of you—he just can’t help himself. You’re like a drug. And fuck, did you look pretty beneath him, giving him the most spectacular view of your body. Tits on full display, your eyes rolling back each time he hits your sweet spot. He can’t help but breathe heavily when he looks down at you naked under him. Bites and hickeys cover your flawless skin, and shit, did the sight of those marks drive Toji wild.

Toji’s brows furrow together, and the pace of his hips begins to slow for a brief moment. He chuckles softly and brushes a strand of hair from your eyes, his voice carrying an unexpected tenderness. “Hey–I love ya. I really do. Our feelings are mutual.” It’s not the confession you were hoping for, but still, it was his own unique way of confirming what you had been longing to hear—his own way of confirming that he had never felt for anyone the way he felt for you.

With a contented sigh, he releases a thick load, and you feel it deep within you, your inner walls stretching to accommodate his passion. You laugh lightly and pull him closer, your eyes rolling to the back of your head and your nails digging themselves deeper into Toji’s back. "F–faster, Toji... k–keep going..."

“So needy.” He obliges, pounding his cum deeper into you. He sighs gently, his lips curling up into a smile against the curve between your neck and shoulder. “Anything for ya, baby.”

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk x you #jjk toji #jujutsu kaisen toji #jjk smut #jujutsu toji #toji fushiguro #toji x reader #toji x y/n #toji x you #toji smut #i wrote this at like 1 am #BUT ISTG TOJI IS FINE 🤤

[ah-ga-seven]

The Naked Neighbor II

>>PART ONE<<

Pairing: Fem!reader x Choi Soobin

Word count: 16,6k

Genre: Smut, Comedy, Fluff, lighthearted Angst.

Synopsis: Life is dull, until a new neighbor moves in across the street. His name was Soobin, a mysterious loner who lived in his own bubble and was incredibly hard to get close to. One night, as y/n was in her bedroom, she saw Soobin through the window, freshly out of the shower in full view, which accounted for a series of interesting events as she notices a pattern in his nightly routine.

Warnings: mature contents regarding sex and especially voyeurism. Further mentions of drugs and alcohol. This story will also contain mentions of broken homes, parental issues and verbally abusive fights.

(A/N) It's been long overdue, but please read part one again if you haven't freshened up your memory, a lot of details from part one are mentioned in part two!

Soobin pulled you into him, guarding you from the atrocious sight that was too late to unsee.  

Your mother had already covered herself up, as did Soobin’s father who was quickly on his feet.  

“Son…” he tried with a soft voice.  

“Shut the fuck up.” Soobin seethed through his teeth.  

Your mother was quiet, carefully eyeing you to study your reaction but when she saw your face buried in Soobin’s chest she knew enough.  

Your breathing started to intensify but whatever alcohol was left in your system gave you the guts to look your mom in the eye with utter shock and disgust written all over your face. “First my mom, now Isabelle?” Soobin questioned as his blood started to boil even more than before.  

“Son..I-”  

“Please…shut up, nothing you’d say right now would make things better.”  

You ignored Soobin and his dad, still staring at your mother in pure disbelief as she looked at you with big guilty eyes. Being disappointed by her was the default setting of your relationship, but knowing that even a marital status didn’t stop her from getting with Soobin’s dad actually made you sick to your stomach.  

“Soobin let’s go.” You tug at his arm as you break eye contact with your mother, avoiding eye contact with his dad altogether.  

“Come on, let’s go.” You drag him out of the house, hearing your mom call for you but you slammed his front door behind yourselves and speed walked towards your house with your arms crossed over your chest. You were trying to walk faster than Soobin with your heart thumping loudly and irregularly from all the adrenaline but he had already caught up to you, hauling you back by your shoulder.  

“Hey, hey y/n.” He turned you around but you couldn’t dare look into his eyes. For some reason, you felt guilty.  

“Soobin I’m…so…so sorry for what my mom did. I can’t even begin to apologize. If you don’t want anything to do with me I totally get it. I-”  

“Hey, woah. Stop. They’re both at fault. My dad is, just as much as your mom. Nothing we said or did could’ve predicted this.”  

You bite your lip, staring at the liveliness in your house from just meters away. “I don’t want to go back in there,” you whisper, getting choked up. “What do we even say.” You were starting to panic a little. “We can’t stay here either, what if they come after us? I-I don’t w-wanna talk to them.”  

Soobin watched the brims of your eyes fill with tears, making his own widen in response. “Come here.” He pulled you towards him mindlessly, enveloping you in his warm embrace and all you could do was give in. You nuzzled your nose in his neck, inhaling his scent as you wrapped your arms around him too. It calmed you down fast enough because for once you weren’t alone.  

You were not ready for the aftermath of all of this. You never wanted to see your mom again, let alone talk to her.  

“There you guys are…woah…everything okay?” Beomgyu walked towards the two of you from the porch, noticing the tears in your eyes. He froze, not fully grasping reality since he was drunk himself. You quickly untangled yourself from Soobin and shot him a look that he immediately understood. Lie.  

Soobin straightened out his back, giving Beomgyu a reassuring smile. “She’s just emo because she loves you guys so much.”  

Beomgyu’s jaw dropped, smirking as he enveloped you in a hug. “AWHHH, me too.” You inhaled sharply, feeling the cool midnight breeze pierce through your nostrils as all the air got knocked out of your lungs from the tight hold he had on you.  

You awkwardly patted Gyu’s back until he let go of you in the weird chokehold-like hug he had you trapped in. He stumbled a step back, assessing both of you from head to toe. “No drinks?” he asks disappointed, throwing his hand up to his forehead to add dramatics.  

“No.” it was a swift and unified response from both you and Soobin, which had Beomgyu moping.  

“Ugh, well… most people are leaving anyway it's already 3 am.”  

Silence took over the atmosphere for a few painful seconds but it felt like forever in your head. You quickly snapped out of it though. Straightening out your posture after taking a quick glance at Soobin who was lost in thought as well.  

“H-hey. Beomgyu. Can we crash at yours?” you ask giving Beomgyu a hopeful look, hoping his intoxication wouldn’t question you.  

“Why? You literally live here.”  

Shit.  

“I know I just…” you pause for a second, taking a quick glance at Soobin who was giving you just as much of a confused expression as Beomgyu. “I don’t want to be alone in the house with all the mess everywhere.”  

You were a horrible liar. And Beomgyu noticed how you weren’t telling him the whole story. Something about the look in your eyes screamed of desperation. You really didn’t want to be home. And apparently, Soobin’s house wasn’t an option either.  

“Sure.” Beomgyu sighed, deciding not to go against you. He’ll find out later, and from the looks of it, it wasn’t Soobin at fault so who cares.  

You looked visibly relieved, as did Soobin who hooked an arm around your waist so you’d turn to him once Beomgyu stumbled back inside the house without giving the two of you a second glance.  

“Are you okay?” Soobin asked, his gaze softening once your eyes locked.  

“No. And neither are you. I’m in survival mode right now I don’t know what to do or think.” You sigh throwing your head back, kicking a random rock on the sidewalk.  

“Why can’t I have nice things happen to me for once,” you groaned.  

Soobin snorted, looking back at his house with a heavy heart which made his smile drop. If it wasn’t for you he would’ve gone back inside and punched his dad in the face. After everything, he still found new ways to fuck up. Hell, Soobin even started to feel bad for Isabelle.  

He scrunched his nose. “Should we just go to Beomgyu’s now? I’m not trying to linger around much longer for them to run after us.” He tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear, the sweet gesture pulling you out of the depths of your mind, mustering up your last bit of energy to crack a slight smile for him.  

“Yeah, let’s leave.”  

Luckily Beomgyu’s parents were on a trip to visit Gyu’s grandparents over the weekend cause it saved you A LOT of explaining and well…lying. The spare key was where it always was which made entering his house a no-brainer.  

You turned on the lights and took off your shoes, letting Soobin explore a bit in silence as you made some tea. After a minute he found you in the kitchen, taking out cups from the cabinet to then pour some hot water into both of them. “You really know your way around here.” Soobin remarks, sitting down on one of the barstools at the breakfast bar.  

“Yeah, I basically grew up in this house.”  

“Hmm…” Soobin once again realized the depth of your friendship with Beomgyu. He knew he had nothing to worry about but it was safe to say that he had a slight pinch of jealousy for the history you had with him and your other friends. He wished he could say he knew you better than them. But he didn’t…not yet at least.  

“What’s up?” you place the cup in front of him as you lean on your elbows opposite of where he was standing,  giving him a confused pout when you sense a change in his body language.  

He looked at you with a coy smile, slowly shaking his head as he fiddled with his fingers. “I was just thinking we’re not even that close.”  

You deadpanned at him, blinking in confusion. “You…you’ve seen me naked.”  

He snorted. “I know! But I mean, like I barely know you. The dumb trivial shit. From your favorite movie genres to your most embarrassing childhood stories, I want to know It all. I want to know you.”  

You looked at him with endearment, you could tell how sincere he was as he slipped back into his own train of thought. He has never felt this way about someone before. Liking someone so much so that it makes you openly desperate wasn’t really Soobin’s approach to dating. Usually, he’s the one being pushed around and sought after but you were different. If you’d ask him to jump, he’d ask you how high which basically meant that he was down bad.  

“I like dramas but also scary movies, and when I was seven years old I peed my pants during gym class. Luckily no one noticed but it was still really, really embarrassing.” Soobin looked at you with wide eyes, suppressing an obnoxious laugh that was boiling in his throat. Instead, he just huffed as the corners of his mouth curled upwards.  

“When I was 9 I slipped and fell face first into a puddle in front of my elementary school crush. She just laughed at me and I was so embarrassed that I started rolling around in the puddle to make it look intentional.” Soobin confessed, making you clutch your hand over your own mouth as you doubled over in laughter. He smiled with sparkles in his eyes as he watched your face contort with joy again after everything that happened tonight, and that’s how the rest of the next hour or so was spent. Telling each other stories about yourselves that didn’t matter anymore, though they did shape you into the people you were today. And, truth be told it was exactly the type of distraction that both of you so desperately needed right now.  

It was almost as if you two were going backwards. You were emotionally connecting with a one-night stand after the physical connection was formed, but there was so much more to your relationship already prior to sleeping together, so your dynamic was odd, to say the least.  

It was like hanging with an old friend, who you have a mutual crush on, but don’t know much about even though you’ve already made core memories with him. Hell, you even shared a traumatic night together already.  

Yeah…weird.  

Your conversation went on and on, shifting from the kitchen to the living room and by now the two of you had fallen asleep on opposite ends of the couch with both of your legs entangled.  

The sight was quite adorable from Beomgyu’s point of view who came home just a minute ago. He smiled softly as he draped a blanket over the two of you, leaving to go upstairs to shower and go to bed himself.  

“Dude I can’t believe you dipped like that. What the fuck happened? I get you’re horny and all but your mom literally came home in hysterics asking us where you were. She looked so worried and you didn’t answer your damn phone either.”  

You were awake for all of 5 minutes when you ran into Yeonjun in Beomgyu’s kitchen. You didn’t even know how he or when he got to the house, but you could only assume he came to find you because he was pissed, rightfully so.  

You opened your mouth and closed it again, not really knowing if Soobin wanted people to know about what happened yet.  

“If a lie comes out of your mouth, y/n. I swear to god.” Yeonjun growled.  

You stare at your fingers as you fiddled with them, not even noticing that Beomgyu came downstairs to join the conversation at the sound of Yeonjun’s nagging.  

He stood beside Yeonjun, ears perking up when he heard the shuffles of Soobin’s footsteps as he approached the three of you in the kitchen.  

You look up as you feel his presence next to you, and somehow you feel relief wash over your body. Even though he made your heart beat faster every time he was close to you, you also felt at peace with him in the room.  

“Wanna tell them?” Soobin asks you as he rests his hand on your lower back.  

Yeonjun gave both of you a look after searching for answers in Beomgyu’s eyes, but he just shrugged at his older friend, letting him know that this whole thing was a mystery to him too.  

You pout, raking your hand through your hair as your mouth becomes dry. “We uhm…” you start, but fall silent again trying to collect your thoughts.

“Babe, the suspense,” Yeonjun says crossing his arms to show his lack of patience, and that’s when Soobin took it upon himself to rip the inevitable band-aid off.  

“We walked in on our parents…having sex.” He says before pursing his lips together in anticipation of their reaction.  

You close your eyes at Soobin’s words. Feeling anger boil in your stomach at the thought of the cursed images in your head and the fact that you were going to have to face your mom sooner or later.  

Beomgyu’s eyes dangerously protruded out of his skull as Yeonjun’s hand clasped over his mouth to muffle a bewildered gasp. This is the last thing they expected to come out of your mouths.  

“There ain’t no way…how? What…” Beomgyu was left speechless for what seemed to be the first time in his fucking life and Yeonjun’s gaze immediately softened as he laid eyes on you. “You’re joking, is this a joke? Cause it ain’t funny.” Yeonjun tried to laugh but your stoic response made him realize you weren’t joking at all.  

“Y-your mom? With his dad?” Yeonjun asks pointing from you to Soobin and all you could do was nod avoiding eye contact.  

“Damn guys…that’s fucked. I don’t know what else to say.” Yeonjun says with a pout as he grabs your hand over the counter, squeezing it for assurance as a way of telling you that he’s here for you.  

“…Isn’t your dad like…married?” Beomgyu spits out without thinking. Yeonjun shot Beomgyu a glare but Soobin simply nodded for a lack of knowing what else to say. “Dad of the year am I right,” he says shrugging his feelings away. “I’m dreading going back there,” he adds looking at you to see you lost in thought. “Me too.” Your voice was almost inaudible, and watching you so pained by the whole situation made Beomgyu want to step in and do something to cheer you up.  

“You two can stay here, I just need to figure out what to tell my parents,” Beomgyu suggests, his tapioca pearl pupils seemed to grow with excitement by the thought of having you two move in here but it was short-lived.  

“No, I’m the worst liar. Thank you for the offer though.” Soobin says scratching the back of his neck.  

“Booo.” Beomgyu huffs giving you both a childish thumbs down, followed by a smack on his arm from Yeonjun. “But I get it. Totally.” Beomgyu quickly corrects himself, rubbing his tingling arm before giving Yeonjun a kittenish angry scowl.  

Soobin scoffed in amusement as you chuckle at the two of them before sharing your thoughts. “It’s going to raise suspicion. Plus, our moms are friends. She’ll call her immediately and I don’t want anyone to find out. This town is too small for something as big as this.”  

“Yeah. If Gyu’s mom knows, Tae’s mom knows, and if Tae’s mom knows Huening’s mom knows, and if Huening’s mom knows, my mom knows, and then the whole town will know.”  Yeonjun says dramatically counting his fingers with each one of their moms added to the list.  

“Then you take after your mom, for sure.” Beomgyu retorts rolling his eyes.  

“Proudly, and what about it,” Yeonjun argues, letting his index finger push Beomgyu’s forehead away.  

“Damn, it’s that serious?” Soobin asked wide-eyed, to which you all just nodded.  

“This town is like a gossip girl spin-off.” Yeonjun chuckled.  

You bite your lip, looking at the three of them. “I don’t think we have much of a choice other than to go home and…deal with it.”  

Soobin anxiously nodded at your statement. Sighing as he threw his head back in defeat. “Can’t wait...”  

You paced back and forth in front of your house for a good minute before entering, but just like you suspected already from the missing car in front; your mom wasn’t home.

You sighed in relief, and quickly inspected the after-party damage but to your surprise, the place was left spotless. You inwardly simped for your friends as you stood motionless in the middle of your living room, taking a mental note to thank Hueningkai and Taehyun for staying behind to clean up.  

You fluffed a random pillow and bit your lip, wondering if Soobin made it past the front door already. Just as you were going up to your room, the front door opened which made you freeze in place in the middle of the staircase. The sound of her heels on the hardwood floor confirmed it was your mom, followed by the sound of her voice.  

“Y/n!” she gasped, not expecting to see you back so soon. You tried to jolt back upstairs but your mom literally launched herself forward in an attempt to grab your ankle, which she did. You nearly tripped over, turning your torso towards her to send daggers at her through your eyeballs. “Really!?”  

“Next time you run away from home at least tell me where you’re going.”  

“That defeats the purpose of running away.”  

“Sweetie…”  

“Don’t sweetie me, I don’t want to talk to you. Let go of me so I can shower and ignore you for the rest of my life.” You were still spread out on the stairs with your mom clasped around your leg like a koala holding on to its sacred branch. It must’ve been a funny sight to see, but you wanted her off. You started to shake your leg with her still wrapped around it, and when you accidentally hit her in the nose she finally let go.  

“Ouch, you little shit.” She let go of you and got back on her feet again, giving you an annoyed scowl.  

“Deserved. Period. Maybe you won’t stick your nose in other people’s marriages now,” you tell her, knitting your eyebrows together to look extra mad. 

“…Oh y/n. Don’t make me the bad guy. I just took the bait. Don’t think I’m the only other woman he’s slept with during his marriage.” She scoffed, rolling her eyes.  

“…What.”  

“He’s a serial cheater. A piece of shit, but a hot one though. I won’t do it again if that’s what you want to hear. I’m sorry you had to see that.” She nodded, blinking slowly like a cat trying to show affection, but you shot her the same unamused glare from before.  

“I don’t believe a word that’s coming out of your mouth mom.” You give her a stoic look, not knowing whether to believe the first or latter part of her twisted apology.  

“Then don’t baby,” she shrugged, straightening out her dress as she walks down the stairs. “Dinner’s in the fridge buttercup.” She yells out before disappearing into the living room.  

You were holding onto the stair railing for dear life, frustration overriding your emotions. It was always like this. She’d brush over every disappointing situation with an insincere apology followed by pretending as if nothing ever happened. It’s like she doesn’t comprehend the depth of her actions and that they don’t just revolve around her alone. She made Soobin’s dad out to be the sole antagonist and even if he did sleep around, it doesn’t make your mom’s part in this whole ordeal any less significant.  

You were used to your mom and her antics. Her inability to feel for anyone but you and herself but it never affected people you cared for before, until now.  

She never stopped to think about how this affects you, Soobin, or Isabelle. How it could potentially wreck Soobin’s already broken home. Even though she knew everything he had been through she still decided to take part in ruining his life some more and that alone made you hate her.  

Angry fumes started to burn your earlobes. She’s not sorry she did it. She’s sorry she got caught.  

You dragged yourself up the stairs, wondering if your ability to feel empathy came from your deadbeat dad who abandoned you as a kid but that thought alone made zero sense.  

Maybe you were adopted.  

You looked at yourself in the mirror, sighing as you splashed some cold water in your face but when you came back up and saw the resemblance you had to both your mom and dad you nearly broke the mirror with your fist. The brims of your eyes filled with tears as you balled your fists on the counter, biting your lip until you tasted iron.  

You stepped out of your clothes and set the water temperature of your shower at a literal lava setting, hoping that the steam would not only clear out your sinuses but your mind.  

You had no idea what to do next, but all that you could really do was be brutally honest with Soobin and hope for the best as you continued to ignore your mothers’ existence. Your heart hurts for him more than ever, especially since he will start feeling the aftermath now that he’s decided to go home.  

Soobin didn’t even hesitate to walk into the house, his non-confrontational nature vanished when he saw his dad on that godforsaken couch, reading with his glasses on the tip of his nose bridge as if nothing happened. He took big strides over to him, ready to yell at his father and demand an explanation but a voice broke him out of his fury.  

“Oh, Soobin. You’re back.” Isabelle smiled at him. “Your dad said you were staying at a friend's? How was the party?”  

Soobin’s dad looked at Soobin with dilated, scared yet strict pupils. He was silently telling him to lie for his sake and looking at Isabelle’s twinkly pupils, Soobin just couldn’t get himself to continue. “Uhm…it was fun. Took a different turn towards the end of the night though.”  

He gave his dad a look with pursed lips and watched as his fathers’ shoulders tensed up. “Oh, what do you mean?” Isabel walked over, setting down a plate with cut fruits for both of them.  

Soobin took a piece from the plate, biting into it as he remained eye contact with his dad. It was a subconscious move to show that his dad had no business being relaxed now that Soobin’s back home.  

He won’t say shit with Isabelle around, just because he cared about her feelings. But once she’s out of view shit was going to go down.  

He forgot Isabelle was still waiting for Soobin to respond so he quickly looked back at her, though she was already onto something.  

“Did you guys get into a fight again?”  

Soobin simply shook his head and that’s when his dad got up, walking towards Isabelle to place a kiss on her temple. “No hon, nothing to worry about. I’m going to take a shower so we can go to your parents later today.”  

“Ah, so you didn’t forget?” Isabelle smiled at him, it was almost pathetic how in love she looked.  

Soobin’s eyes turned sad and looked away as he bit his lip. “Uhm, do you guys mind if I stay in? I have a lot of homework I need to finish.”  

Isabelle looked at Soobin a tad disappointed but nodded, giving him a quick pat on the back. “You always work so hard. Don’t forget to eat okay.”    

Soobin nodded as watched his dad move up the stairs without a word, followed by Isabel who had to get ready as well.  

He sighed, throwing his large self on the couch before realizing what happened here. He stiffened and rolled right off, suppressing a gag as he made his way to the kitchen quickly to quench his disgust with tasty snacks.  

He opened a bag of random sweets, sitting at the breakfast bar as he angrily chewed on the way too sugary biscuits. This house was a ticking time bomb, and he had to get out before he’d get buried in the ruins of it.  

You stared at the mess that was your bedroom with loss. Not knowing where to start with cleaning. Naturally, you moved all the mess to your bed and started putting things away accordingly. Once your sheets were revealed under all the mess, instant butterflies kicked in when you remembered what happened on them last night.  

You bite your lip, slipping into a daydream before you knew it you were already texting him.  

[Y/N, 5:56 PM]: Hi 👀  

[Y/N, 5:56 PM]: How’d it go?  

[Soobin,  5:57 PM]: Hey ☺️

[Soobin,  5:57 PM]: Isabel was home so I didn’t really get a word in. I couldn’t do that to her. I want him to fess up himself yk. Buttt,they left for some dinner a few minutes ago so I haven’t seen him really.  

[Soobin, 5:57 PM]: What I don’t get is how he can lie and pretend so fucking easily. It’s scary. It’s like don’t know who he is anymore.  

[Y/N, 5:58 PM]: ugh, I can’t. this is so messed up...  

[Soobin, 5:58 PM]: And you? How are things with your mom?  

[Y/N, 5:58 PM]: She’s…my mom. So, she gives me one insincere apology and pretends as if nothing happened. She even tried to blame your dad for all of it.  

[Soobin, 5:58 PM]: Damn…how so?

[Y/N, 5:59 PM]: I’ll tell you later, just don’t get how I came out of someone like her  

[Soobin, 5:59 PM]: Hmm ok, and same here. Can we talk about something else? Anything else? I would like some normalcy today.

You sigh, looking at your closed curtains, immediately getting the best worst idea ever. You walked over and ripped them open, seeing Soobin at his desk in front of his window.  

Really…he’s still living curtainless. STILL!?  

You shake your head, looking down at your phone again, and started typing.  

[Y/N, 6:01 PM]: Look up.  

As you press send you excitedly awaited his response and that’s when your eyes locked through your windows. A mischievous smile crept on his cute ass lips. He cockily leaned back in his chair and proceeded to rake his hand through his hair.  

He averted his attention back to his phone and looked your way again when your phone buzzed in your palm.  

You boldly kept eye contact until he lifted his phone up to your view, pointing at it to tell you to look.  

[Soobin, 6:02 PM]: cute jammies, what are those? Teddy bears?  

You looked down at your childish pajama set and felt your ears heat up. You didn’t even realize that you were wearing your most sexless sleepwear and laughed, doing random poses for him as you modeled your cute little outfit.  

Soobin bit his lip, chuckling at your antics with an amused glint in his eyes.  

You quickly grab your phone.  

[Y/N, 6.04 PM]: Don’t leave me hanging, show me your jammies.

Soobin looked from his phone to you with a dumbfounded look, giving you a  sassy smirk before he sent you another message.  

[Soobin, 6.05 PM]: Can’t do that. I sleep nude.

He eyed your reaction from afar and when your eyes got big as you look from your screen to him, he folded in laughter.  

You pout at him, giving him a thumbs down closer to the window this time while mouthing a stretched-out ‘Booo’  

He rolled his eyes at you, getting up to get closer to the window. You didn’t know what he was doing when you cocked your head to the side in confusion, watching him intently with a playful smirk.  

Soobin then lifted up his shirt, showing you his bare chest before sending you a sarcastic flying kiss and it had you rolling your eyes at him this time. He laughed at you. His eyes disappearing into crescent moons as he clapped his large ass hands together with glee.  

Oh it’s on. Mischief took over on your side of the window. You looked around the neighborhood but no one seemed to be around and that’s when you decided to just do what you initially intended to do.  

You maintained eye contact and lifted your top up, showing your bare boobs to him on full display for two good seconds as you mimicked his teasing from before. You dropped your top back down and watched his face go full tomato as his mouth fell agape. You were laughing so hard that you had to double over in order to catch a breath and that’s when your phone started buzzing in your pocket.  

You pick up with giggles, still enjoying the look on his face while he was frantically looking around to check if there were any neighbors out on the streets. “y/n!”  

Your laugh died down slowly. “Ahh, you should’ve seen your face.”  

“Omg, what if someone saw you? Are you crazy?”  

“Look who’s talking, you still don’t have blinds.”  

“It’s a delivery issue, they’ll be here soon” he pinched his eyes shut at a loss for words, looking at you rather lost soon after. “I- you’re insane.”  

“Dude. You mooned me on the first day, I just paid you back. We’re even now.” You smirked, but you watched Soobin grow more frustrated on his side of the window.  

“First off I wasn’t aware and SECOND, No, we’re not.” He growled pressing himself against the window.  

You lean forward to show some cleavage, unbuttoning the first button to give him even more of a show. “Why?” you coyly ask, biting your lip as you pressed your goods against the glass. “How bout’ now?”  

You watched him try to keep cool but the tent that was forming in his sweats was giving you the impression that it wasn’t working. He was flustered, yet didn’t want to lose control so easily.  

He licked his lips, staying silent for a second as he moved his phone from one ear to the other.  

“Get over here so I can suck on those titties.”  

His voice was low, serious, and demanding enough to make your knees grow weak.  

You choke on air, eyes growing wide as you swallow harshly. “U-uhm wow…C-can you give me like…3 minutes.”  

“3, not more.” He smirked at you and all you could do was nod as you watched him hang up the phone and walk out of his room.  

You quickly closed your curtains, changing into leggings and a top as fast as you could before collecting your toothbrush from the bathroom. You sprinted down the stairs, putting on your sneakers and a big ass trench coat that had pockets big enough for your phone, keys, toothbrush, and a set of fresh underwear.  

As your front door closed, his own opened. Soobin watched you cutely run over with soft smiles and giggles exchanged between the two of you. It was…disgustingly cute.  

Once you reached his front porch he lifted you off your feet, crashing his lips into yours as you clung onto his torso by wrapping your legs around his hips.  

The two of you made out as he walked both of you back into the house, crashing your back against the inside of his now-closed front door. You could barely see in the darkness of his hallway, letting your eyes get used to the dim lighting as his lips sensually moved against your own.  

His pillowy soft lips were tracing chaste kisses from your jaw to your chest and that’s when he ripped the coat off of you in one swift motion. His hands hungrily grabbed on to massage your boobs under your shirt when your lips reconnected with his own.  

It was messy but so good as you moaned into his mouth once his cold thumbs rolled against your nipples. “Fuck.” You huffed, rolling your core onto his hips to create the friction you so desperately longed for.  

Soobin grinned against your lips, leaning his forehead against yours as he lead you into the kitchen area. He propped you up on the counter of their breakfast bar and situated himself between your legs again. He bent his neck down to kiss you some more, slowly guiding his hands up and down your thighs. You were so out of breath that you broke the kiss, looking up at him through your lashes. He felt his heart swell as you did, smiling at him shyly before hiding your face in his chest. Damn you were cute. Fucking adorable to be exact.  

He chuckled and toyed with the hem of your top before lifting it over your head. Quickly discarding of the useless item of clothing and immediately got busy with your boobs, kissing and sucking on them just like he promised to. Your eyes lulled back, enjoying the divine feeling as a few strained moans left your lips. He stopped in his tracks, creating some distance to look at your body.  

“Shit.” He cursed, smiling down at you in complete awe of how gorgeous you looked right now. You returned the smile, your fingers nimbly curling around the waistband of his sweats and Calvins. “I want these off…” you whisper in his ear, making every hair on his neck stand up straight as a chill runs down his spine. “I still haven’t sucked your dick.” You confidently state, reminiscing back to what he said to you last night. “Blowjobs can wait” well…not anymore.  

“Then get to it” he mused, patting your hair adoringly as he tilted your chin upwards to look at him with his index finger.  

You paused for a second, “H-here?” you say looking around his large kitchen. It had a similar layout to yours, the only difference was that it had no windows. Thank god.  

“Well we can’t really go into my room unless you’re still into that whole voyeurism thing…so-”  

You shut him up with yet another kiss, pinching his cheeks together with your thumb and index finger as you guided your tongue into his mouth sensually and slowly. He closed his eyes for a second until you disconnected your lips from his, still pinching his cheeks together with a seductive smile on your shiny and absolutely swollen lips.  

“Where do you want me?”  

“On your knees.” His reply was short and hot enough to get you going as you let go of his face until he interrupted you. “But be careful, it’s a tile floor your knees might bruise.”  

You snorted, finding it cute how his sweetness always seemed to shine through even in sinful moments like these. “I don’t mind a few bruises.” You challenge him as you got down on your knees, looking up at him with big, innocent eyes and that visual alone pumped every drop of blood in his body straight to his dick.  

“You’re blue balling me.” He complained.  

“I’m not doing shit.”  

“That’s the problem.” He says and you chuckle lowly, finally pulling down his sweats when his hard, angry, and humongous dick springs free. It hadn’t even been 24 hours but you already forgot how big he actually was, and suddenly your confidence disappeared. Does your mouth even open wide enough to take him?  

“Hey.” He caressed your cheek with his thumb. “It’s okay, just go slow. It’s not like I’ll immediately shove it down your throat or anything.”  

“Hot, but no thanks. Not yet.” He scoffed at you playfully and you gulped, holding his shaft tightly. He was heavy in your palm and you weren’t shy to grab his whole sex from below his balls, propping him up for you nicely. He watched you closely, his gaze softening once your eyes found his again. You started collecting some spit in your mouth to then coat his tip with some so you could lubricate his length with your hand, twisting your wrist around to cover more of him. The friction wasn’t much but Soobin’s eyes were already closing, hearing a content sigh escape from his lips.  

You kept your eyes on him, licking from the start of his shaft to his tip to then take it into your mouth slowly. Sucking on just the head as you held his cock in place, eyeing how hot he looked as you slowly started to take him further into your mouth.  

You were fastening your pace and alternated from sucking, to licking and adding handwork when you felt like he needed the extra stimulation. You could tell the buildup was just right as he slowly started to lose control with being gentle, desperately rocking his hips forward from time to time as you did your thing.  

His moans were filling the room, bouncing off the walls in echo’s so soft and hot that it motivated you to take him further into your throat. He took a fistful of your hair, slowly guiding himself in and out of your mouth as he enjoyed the sloppy wet sounds of your suppressed little gags.  

He suddenly pulled out completely, taking over to pump himself really fast as he hovered his tip over your mouth. “S-shit baby, I-I’m-” he couldn’t even finish his sentence, you moaned to motivate him, placing your palms on his thighs, squeezing your eyes shut to prepare for what was to come and that’s when he coated your tongue, and chin with white spurts of his cum.    

You opened your eyes again, watching him see stars as he threw his head back for a second while he pumped out his high. It wasn’t long before you made eye contact though. Your sinful smile with strings of his manliness dripping down your lips almost made him cum a second time. He guided the lost droplets into your mouth with his tip so you sucked on it one last time, letting go with a pop while swallowing his load completely like a big girl.  

“Fuck…y/n, what the hell are you doing to me. Shit.” He kept cursing as he sweetly caressed your cheek again. You giggled and got up on your feet, turning around to rip off a piece of paper towel that was situated behind you on the counter and wiped your face and chest but it didn’t really do much. Soobin had literal twinkles in his eyes seeing the absolute mess he made of you, straight up looking like his personal hentai fantasy. “Damn,” he hummed contently trying to regulate his breathing so he could calm the fuck down.  

“I think I need another shower.” You sigh, looking down at yourself to assess the damage and once you locked eyes you both erupted in laughter.  

He laced his finger through yours, placing a sweet kiss on top of your hand.  

“I’ll lead the way.”  

After round two in the shower and round three under the sheets of his bed you knocked the fuck out. You were still situated on his chest when you slowly regained consciousness, but somehow waking up felt like hell. You were so disoriented and sore that it took you a minute to realize you weren’t in your own bed. You lifted your head from Soobin’s chest to look around but immediately regretted it. Squinting your burning eyes to get used to the obliterating amount of sunlight coming in through the window. How does he even sleep without blinds, you were seriously contemplating on dragging his ass to the nearest Ikea to come up with a temporary solution.  

Lost in grumpy thought you looked up at Soobin who was still sound asleep, his arm was wrapped around your waist tightly, the sheets barely covering him since you stole most of it in your sleep. His bunny lips were parted slightly, and from his breathing alone you could tell he was still far gone in dreamland. You couldn’t help but notice his beauty, softly smiling to yourself as you brush a piece of hair out of his eyes. You decided to let him sleep some more so you rested your head again, pressing your cheek flat against his chest with your eyes fluttering shut in peace but that same peace was soon disturbed when you heard voices coming from the hallway.  

“Is he ok? He usually doesn’t sleep in this late.” Isabelle’s voice was crystal clear and you were immediately alerted.  

Shit.  

Fuck.  

No.  

Please don’t check on him, please don’t check on him.  

“Should I check on him?” she asked again and that’s when you heard his dad’s voice.  

“No, let him sleep. Maybe he studied till late.”  

Your whole body relaxes as you let out a sigh of relief when you hear them walk down the staircase. You sit up, deciding to wake Soobin up because you still needed to have an actual conversation with him about your mothers’ accusations regarding his dad’s infidelity streak throughout his marriage.  

You seriously didn’t even know how to start, but waking him from his slumber was step one.  

“Hey.” You whisper as you shake him gently, but it only resulted in him mumbling something you didn’t quite understand as he stole the covers off of you, fully wrapping himself like a burrito as he turned his back to you. You chuckle, sitting up on your knees to violently shake him by grabbing onto his shoulders.  

“Wake uuuuuuuup” you nudge his back with your knee this time and that made him jolt right up, almost making you fall off the bed completely.  

He yelped but you quickly clasped your hand over his mouth as he stared at you in bewilderment. “Your parents.” You whispered as you took your hand off of his mouth and that’s when it struck him. “Fuck.”  

“Yeah.” You stare at his bedroom door for a second and almost scream out loud when you felt his cold hands wrap around your waist. He pulled you closer, moving you under him as he covered both of you with the blanket from head to toe. You were stuck beneath him in his makeshift fort and felt him nuzzle his face in your neck. “Now we’re invisible.” He muttered in his low sleepy voice, making you smile in defeat as you started to play with his hair.  

You felt your heart swell in your chest, realizing just how much of a simp you were. Fuck you might just be…falling in love.  

It’s like he noticed how hard your heart was pounding in your chest because he started rubbing your back in calming up and down motions and then it hit you like a brick wall.  

You haven’t felt this save in a man’s arms since…you were a kid.  

“I don’t want to get up.” He mumbled lost in thought, making you look up at him through your lashes. “Me neither.”  

You reluctantly let go of him, sitting up as you removed the covers from yourself and stared into nothingness for a second. Soobin eyed you carefully, putting his hand on your back for comfort. “You don’t have to talk to him or even look at him, I can easily sneak you out, it’s okay.” He was assuming you were stressed about seeing his dad again after everything but the actual thing you were stressed about was telling Soobin what your mom told you.  

You looked back at him and gave him a soft smile, grabbing his hand as you traced his veins gently. “Soobin I’m starting to really fucking like you.” You whisper with a slight crack in your voice which definitely didn’t go unnoticed.  

He sat up immediately, pouting at you as he pulled you close to him. “Ahwww” he furrowed his eyebrows. “Don’t worry okay? Me too. Me three. I do, I really do.” He smiled at you fondly, patting your hair before getting up out of bed. There was something so soft about his masculinity. He wasn’t scared to be affectionate or straightforward. It was one of his qualities you loved most which is what made you so comfortable around him.  

He quickly put sweatpants on and a random shirt he had laying around to then collect your scattered clothes around the room for you, handing them over to you with a shy smile and you instantly melted. You took the articles of clothing from his hold with both hands, and got up to get dressed, contemplating how to start a sudden loaded conversation with him. He watched you carefully, afraid you were going to vanish into thin air for some reason.  

It was scary how much he hated the idea of living here before, and now he couldn’t imagine ever leaving just because he met you. “I wish my mom got to meet you.” It slipped out of his mouth before he could even really think about it but that comment caught you off guard more than it should have.  

“I-” you swallowed harshly. “Me too.” Your eyes turned sad for a second and he immediately regretted what he said. “Ah, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to get all emo on you.”  

Your eyes widened. “Don’t apologize. You’re allowed to miss her Soobin. I really wish I could’ve gotten to know her too, so I could thank her for birthing you. ” you giggled which made  Soobin sigh in relief at your words, giving you a shy smile before he averted his attention to the sudden buzzing of both of your phones.  

Soobin checked his phone, and to his surprise he was added to a group chat with you and your friends, all of them wondering how you two were doing as they spammed both of you with multiple texts. He sighed, showing you the chat once you were completely dressed.  

“They’re asking questions.”  

“Of course they are…” You quickly grab your phone, letting them know that you will talk to them at Uni tomorrow to shut them up for a while. You set your phone down beside you, looking at Soobin as he did the same.  

You bit your lip. “Soobin.”  

“Hmm?” he sat next to you on the bed, biting the inside of his cheek as he waited for you to start talking. “Remember last night when I told you that my mom tried to blame your dad for what happened…”  

Soobins ears perked up, and his body language completely changed, he nodded, waiting for you to continue.  

“While that…of course isn’t completely true, she did tell me that…apparently your dad is like…a serial cheater…” you wish that sentence came out of your mouth more coherently but looking at how Soobin’s whole body tensed up you recon that it wouldn’t have made a difference in outcome.  

“What?” his tone was so different from how he usually talks that it sent chills down your spine. You pouted. “My mom is a lot of things but she’s not a liar…she wouldn’t accuse him of something this big if she didn’t have proof.”  

Soobin closed his eyes, anger filling his whole body as he started to shake. You tried to put a hand on his shoulder but before you knew it he jolted out of the room in a split second.  

Your eyes widened, unsure of what was about to go down but you didn’t hesitate and ran right after him. He nearly flew down the stairs, angrily stomping through the house to find his dad and Isabel at the breakfast bar in the kitchen. 

Both of their eyes widened, and his dad immediately knew something was up. Right then Soobin grabbed him by his collar, easily lifting him off the chair and pushing him against the refrigerator door like a ragdoll. He was seething. Absolutely fuming.

“SOOBIN!” Isabelle got on her feet just as quickly and that’s when she saw you equally as stressed and scared as her. She was even more confused as she locked eyes with you, not knowing when or how you got here.  

“Soobin let go…please” you carefully tried but the sound of your voice made Soobin crash his dad’s back into the fridge even harder this time. “YOU PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT!” He spits out. His dad was scared by now but how could he not be? His perfect lie was about to unravel.  “First my mom and now her huh!? Were you going to sleep with this whole town and hope Isabel dies of cancer too so you can fuck up a different family this time!?”  

Oh my god.  

“You’re not even denying it.” Soobin’s voice softened as he watched his father struggle to breathe in his hold.  

He soon let go of him, disgust was written all over his face as he calmly turned to Isabelle, followed by some violent coughs coming from his father’s throat. Your eyes quickly darted to him to see if he was ok, but your attention shifted when Soobin started talking again.  

“I’m sorry Isabelle. But my father slept with y/n’s mother the night of the party, on that couch.” He pointed at the living room cocking an eyebrow as he casually announced the news. And all you could do was watch as Isabelle’s whole world fell apart. You saw something break in her eyes as her gaze redirected to Soobin’s dad who was awfully quiet. Frozen in place with his back still glued to the fridge even though Soobin had already let go of him.  “And apparently there have been many more.” He continued, cocking his head to the side with a bitter smile.  

You couldn’t believe you were witnessing this. Your eyes scanned all of their faces at once as you stood frozen on your feet.  

“Is it true?” you heard Isabelle’s voice crack.  

Soobin wasn’t sticking around for the aftermath, he brushed past them and for a second you thought he was going to leave you there but he dragged you with him into the hallway and that’s when the yelling match started between them.  

You winced as you heard glass break, your eyes widening in shock and disbelief after everything that just went down. “S-Soobin I’m so sorry.”  

He was putting on his shoes, giving you a look. “None of this is your fault.” He said getting back up to look you in your widened eyes. He looked back at the kitchen, hearing the arguing get louder and louder.  

So much for the perfect family his dad tried to create. So much for the empty promises of how things were going to be different this time. But none of it was real. Not when all of this time his dad was living a lie.  

You bit your trembling lip, trying to keep it together when Soobin started to put on your shoes for you, grabbing your coat as he wrapped it around you before holding you at an arm’s length. “I need to go see my sister.”  

His what now? Soobin grabbed his keys, looking at the kitchen one more time before he opened the front door, gently pushing you out and closing the door behind him.  

“You have a sister?”  

“Yeah. She lives like two hours away, but don’t worry. I’ll be back for Uni tomorrow.” He reassured you that he wasn’t going anywhere for too long but the thought of all of this going down without him around felt so wrong. It’s like he was in panic mode. Rushing to escape and get you as far away from this mess as he possibly could.  

Of course you understood. But somehow things were going too fast to process right now.  

“Do we just…leave them alone? I-”  

Soobin opened the trunk of his car, throwing in his jacket before shutting it as you stood there and simply watched him as he paced around. He was completely struck with adrenaline, and you knew there was no way you could stop him from going. If anything, it might do him some good to talk to another family member.  

“Please…drive save okay.” You walked over to him and grabbed his arm to make him look at you and once his eyes landed on you his gaze completely softened. He nodded quietly, pulling you into him. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”  

“It’s…it’s ok.”  

“No, it’s not.” His voice was stern and all you could do was nod, avoiding eye contact altogether.  

He sighed, pulling you into him and nuzzled his nose in your hair, inhaling the perfumy scent of your shampoo once more to calm himself down. Soobin squeezed you in his arms to then let go and kiss you ever so gently, afraid you’d break.  

You reluctantly let go. “Text me when you get there, please…”  

He nodded, smiling at you fondly before getting into his car without another word. He reversed the car out of the driveway and sped off, leaving you feeling empty as ever on the pavement.  

Going home made no sense to you, so your legs took you to the only house that did make sense to go to right now. It started pouring rain in the middle of your way there, but you didn’t care. You were letting the water cleanse you of all the bad energy you just encountered.  

You were worried sick for Soobin, feeling knots form in your stomach as nausea took over. You knew he probably didn’t have a home to return to anymore once he got back and the thought made you feel like it was your fault somehow. He’s been through so much this past year and you knew exactly what it felt like to be alone in a broken home full of lies and secrets.  

You couldn’t help but think of your father. Though your mom’s existence was a good enough reason to leave, you never got a real explanation from either of them. It’s like he was Voldemort. You could never speak of him or ask about him, so you made peace with the whole thing years ago, though it still ate at you from time to time. But this…this whole thing was opening up old wounds that would just leave new scars and you weren’t ready for that. Especially now that you finally felt like you were able to let yourself love someone again.  

Why couldn’t it be easier?  

Your chemistry and dynamic with Soobin came so incredibly natural that it felt like all four forces of nature were trying to sabotage your relationship as some type of balancing act. It was unfair.  

For you, for him, even for Isabelle.  

You were fighting tears the whole way, but when you knocked on Beomgyu’s door and watched his big smile falter when he opened the door for you, you fully broke down.  

“Y/n…” his voice was quiet as he wrapped his arms around you, letting you cry in his arms as he comforted you on the floor of his hallway.  

“You’re soaking wet…did you walk all the way here in the rain? Shit.” He quickly looked around and grabbed his mother’s scarf, wrapping it around you in an attempt to warm you up, but your teeth were still chattering as silent sobs escaped your lips.  

“Let’s get you in dry clothes and then we can talk okay?”  

You locked eyes with him, slowly nodding as you watched his face contort from pure concern to relief.  

“Ok, come on,” he says helping you up.  

“…Soobin?” his sister smiled widely. “You could’ve called! I would’ve made lunch or something.”  

“I’m…I’m not hungry. I actually really need to talk to you.”  

Soobin organized all of his thoughts in his head on the car ride over, he didn’t really know how to break it to her, or how to articulate all the scattered words in his head, but he had to somehow.  

“…Well it must be damn important if you drove all the way here?” she moved aside and led him into the living room, making him sit down on the large sofa.  

He looked around for a second. Feeling how warm, cozy, and loving her home felt just by observing the place. He kicked himself for not coming over more often, but after the move and everything else, he just couldn’t get himself to do so for some reason.  

“Want a tour of the house? You haven’t seen the place since we bought it.” She smiled at him sweetly but the absence in his eyes didn’t go unnoticed by her as he played with his fingers in his lap. She moved her weight from one foot to the other, wanting to sit down next to him on the couch but the moment got interrupted by tiny little footsteps on the hard wooden floor.  

“Uncle Bin! Uncle Bin!” his nephew ran around the corner, making Soobin look up from his hands. His eyes lit up in a split second, holding out his arms for the toddler as he launched his tiny body into Soobin’s arms. “Hey little guy, look at you, you’ve gotten so big!” Soobin lifted the kid up and placed him on his lap, rocking him on his knee as he tickled his belly. “I missed you uncle bin!” Soobin melted, squeezing his eyes shut as he showed his dimples while pursing his lips together. Talk about a cuteness overload.  

“I missed you too, buddy.” He pressed his finger into the identical dimple the child had. They kinda looked alike. At least that’s what everyone tells him.  

His sister smiled at both of them and placed her son on her lap but he was fighting her, wanting to go back to Soobin.“Hey, listen, listen. How about you go upstairs and draw Uncle Soobin something really pretty, and then afterwards you two can go get ice cream? Okay?”  

The kids’ eyes had literal beams emitting from them out of excitement. “Okay! But only if you hang it somewhere special.”  

Soobin hands clasped over his chest where his heart was with a smile and nodded. “Of course! I’ll frame it and hang it up.”  

“At home!” the kid chirped, but Soobin’s smile faltered a bit. “Y-yeah buddy, at home.”  

His sister noticed his drop in energy and protectively moved closer to him.  

“Okay, deal!” the kid was easily convinced as he sprinted upstairs, making both Soobin and his sister sigh in relief.  

She averted his attention to him once more, firmly squeezing his shoulder. He seemed to be feeling better already, though the atmosphere got heavier shortly after his nephew left the room.  

“Why are you really here Bin?” she carefully starts.  

“You want the short version or the long version?” he asks giving her a blank stare.  

“Short…no long.”  

Soobin nodded to himself and inhaled sharply, speaking incredibly fast. “Okay so, I met this girl 'cause she almost hit me with her car and she’s amazing, we’re neighbors, by the way, total coincidence. But her mom is… uhm…well single and one time she invited us over for dinner to welcome us into the neighborhood and even though I connected with y/n, I felt like something was up with dad and her mom so y/n threw a party two nights ago, but the drinks were finished so me and y/n were going to sneak into the house and steal some of dad’s whiskey collection but then we caught her mom and our dad fucking on the couch.”  

With an open mouth, Soobin’s sister was trying to follow his story but the randomness of it all overwhelmed her. “Huh!?”  

“Yeah, so dad cheated on Isabel, and I found out that dad has been cheating on Isabel just like he was cheating on mom during her sickness so I kinda snapped and assaulted him in front of Isabel and y/n and now I’m worried that y/n might see me differently but I literally ran away to come here a minute after that all went down and I don’t know what to do or how to go back, I’m actually going insane” Soobin was gasping for air as he uttered that whole monologue in one breath, carefully awaiting his sisters’ reaction by knitting his eyebrows together as he anticipated her response. So much for organizing his thoughts in the car…  

“Soobin.” She closed her eyes. “what was y/n even doing in the house? Dude, I’m so lost you have no idea, and you left her? Right after you reconstructed dads face?”  

“I didn’t hit him. And why aren’t you reacting to the cheating part, aren’t you pissed? I-”  

“Oh baby bro.” she closed her eyes, leaning back on the couch at a loss for words. “Dad has always been and will always be a piece of shit. Nothing that man does will ever surprise me. I’ve known about some of this but I always tried to shield you from it. I guess now that you’re older the puzzle pieces are starting to fit.”  

Soobin just nodded, drifting back into thought. “I can’t believe I almost bought his caring act.”  

“You know, I don’t think it’s an act. He cares for us deeply but…watching mom die fucked him up…badly.”  

Soobin looked up in surprise. “I’m not saying that it’s an excuse, I’m just saying that he started grieving her while she was still alive in the worst way possible and Isabelle is probably just collateral damage…our childhood was great when they still loved each other…when mom wasn’t sick.” A tear tried to escape from his sisters’ eye but she quickly wiped it away, staring at the picture of their mother on the coffee table.  

He was looking at it too, his heart filling with both love and sadness as he studied his mom’s face. He drifted back into deep thought as the two of them stayed silent for a second.  

“Is y/n your girlfriend?”  

Soobin’s head snapped in his sisters’ direction, it’s as if she sensed that he was thinking of you.  

“We’re…pretty new. But it’s heading in that direction. This all just complicates things.” He swallowed harshly, nervously picking at his cuticles again. “I don’t know how I’ll ever go back.”  

“Soobin…she’ll understand.”  

“I know she does, that’s not what I meant. I meant going back to the house.”  

Her eyes got sad as she watched him and moved closer to envelop him in a hug. He fully gave in wrapping his arms around her frame. “You can move here?” she softly suggested.  

Soobin let go of her, raising his eyebrows at the sudden offer. “Huh?”  

“I mean think about it. I have an extra room now, you can go back to your old college and it’s not like you’re moving across the country…I’m sure that whatever it is that you’re trying to figure out with y/n could also work with a little bit of distance.”  

Soobin’s lips parted as he contemplated the sudden offer. It seemed…viable in some way, but he did have to admit that the thought of moving schools again would suck. Especially now that he’s finally settled and made friends.  And you…oh my god. He knew you well enough that the distance would fuck both of you up for sure. But he had to be realistic and chose between staying, being miserable at home for years to come with a potential relationship that could end because of that miserable situation OR running away and chose not to fight that battle.    

“Won’t your husband mind?” Soobin asks, knowing damn well what the answer to that question was already. But he didn’t know what else to say right now.  

“No, of course not. He loves you.” She shrugged, giving him a pat on the knee. “Just think about it okay? Let’s get that little monster his ice cream.”  

Soobin barely responded to your texts, telling you that he’d drive out early in the morning to go straight to Uni from his sisters’ house right before you went to bed. You barely slept, twisting and turning in Beomgyu’s bed as he took the inflatable mattress on the floor. He demanded you to stay over after you told him everything and decided to obey him just because you really didn’t feel like being alone right now.  

After a quick stop at your house in the morning to shower and get dressed you were headed out for your first class of the day already. Going to school felt odd but it was a blessing in disguise cause it offered some type of normalcy after this hectic weekend. Before you got in Beomgyu’s car you stopped for a second to look at Soobin’s house just to see the empty driveway. You knew he’d be at school when you got there but for some reason, you were more anxious than excited to see him.  

You were waiting for him in the parking lot, your eyes lighting up when he pulled up and got out of the car after parking it swiftly. He looked at you with the exact same sparkles in his eyes and wrapped you in his arms for a long, warm hug.  

You sigh contently, holding him at arm's length. He was wearing dress pants and a white loose-fitting button up…to school?  

“You look…different?” you chuckle to break the silence, fixing a wrinkle in the material on his shoulder.  

“It’s the only thing I could find in my brother-in-law’s closet that fit me.” Soobin snorted, leaning his back against the wall.  

“How was it?” you asked with a hopeful expression but somehow Soobin found it hard to look you in the eye.  

“Uhm…” he started, but paused again. “We talked about my parents and…where it went wrong and stuff. My sister made me realize that her death left different scars on our dad than the rest of us.”  

You blinked at him, not fully comprehending but also kind of understanding what he was saying. “After our talk, I spent some time with my nephew…he’s really cute.” He smiled, missing him already, and seeing the look in Soobin’s eyes you couldn’t help but reciprocate his enamored grin.  

“Did you talk to him yet?”  

Soobin shook his head. “He called me like a hundred times but I’m not ready, Isabelle texted me that I was still welcome and that my dad’s staying at some motel in town, so I won’t have to worry about running into him for the time of being.”  

You moved a piece of his hair out of his eyes. “Well…that’s a temporary solution.” You sigh. “We need to come up with a permanent one.”  

“…Yeah…” Soobin didn’t know how to tell you about the offer his sister made, but he also knew that decisions had to be made fast. “I have to get to class.’ He tells you, checking the time on his phone.  

Seeing how absent he was made your heart feel heavier than ever. It’s like his body was here and his mind was somewhere else. You wished there was more you could do. “I’ll see you in our free period, right?” you asked, and he simply nodded, pulling you in to kiss you softly.  

“Did you guys hear about the festival at school, they want us to dress up as characters,” Beomgyu announces showing you guys the post on the school’s Instagram page.  

“Seems fun,” Taehyun adds, followed by Hueningkai’s loud laugh. “Dress up? Like what exactly?” he questions.  

You were not present at all during this conversation, nervously biting your lip as you kept staring at the door, waiting for Soobin to walk in.  

“Hueningie can dress as a lifesize penguin, Tae as some fighter and I can just be a cowboy-themed stripper.”  

“What about me.” Beomgyu moped.  

Yeonjun shot Beomgyu a pained smile. “You don’t need a costume to blend in.” 

The table laughed and averted their attention to you. “Maybe you and Soobin could do a couples costume? Like batman and batgirl or something. That’s cute.” Yeonjun suggests trying to cheer you up. You broke out your trance, giving him and the others a quick smile. “Y-yeah seems fun.”  

Taehyun was losing his patience with you and rolled his eyes. The whole table was trembling just because you kept shaking your leg in nervousness.  

“Dude quit it. He’ll be here.” He said putting his hand on your knee to make you stop. Your head snapped back, instantly halting your nervous tick as you bit your lip. “Sorry. But you should’ve seen him.”  

“Give the guy some rest, he’s probably still exhausted both emotionally and physically.” You nodded, agreeing with Tae as you crossed your arms on the table with a pout on your face.  

“Do you think he’ll move out?” Hueningkai asks, making Beomgyu look at him funny. “Where would he go?”  

“I don’t know. He has a sister, maybe there?”  

You looked up at Hueningkai with dilated pupils letting your shoulders fall and Yeonjun immediately noticed how sad that comment made you. “Oh my god, Kai shut up, can’t you see she’s already going through it.” He pulled you into him and you just gave in, resting your head on Yeonjun’s shoulder as he patted your head like a cat.  

“His sister lives like two hours away,” Beomgyu muttered through his teeth while leaning towards Hueningkai.  

“Oh...sorry.” Hueningkai quickly apologized with wide eyes, awkwardly laughing the pained atmosphere away as he rocked in his chair.  

“Oh, there he is.” Taehyun cutely waved at Soobin who immediately walked over to your table. You lifted your head off Yeonjun’s shoulder, pushing him aside to make room for Soobin.  

“Ha, I see how it is,” he says rolling his eyes and acting all fake hurt but still proceeded to scoot over so Soobin could sit next to you anyway.  

Soobin gave you a quick peck before he unwrapped his sandwich, not noticing the silence that took over the table as everyone stared at him all at once. He lifted his head, looking around just to get flustered by all of your eyes on him. “…Uh…what?”  

“What do you mean what?” Beomgyu huffed, pushing Soobin’s sandwich aside. “what’s your next move?” he continues.  

“And let us know if we can help in any way,” Taehyun adds.  

Soobin suddenly got overwhelmed with all their pitiful faces but you looked at him attentively, waiting for him to speak.  

“I-I don’t know yet.”  

“Well, what are your options? Do you have options?” Yeonjun asks this time.  

Soobin sighed, staring at his hands. “My sister she uh…” he looked at you this time, pausing for a second. “She offered me to move in with her.”  

All of their eyes darted from Soobin to you. You pursed your lips together, swallowing harshly as you turned to him. “Why didn’t you tell me?” you whispered but of course, everyone could hear.  

“…I…I didn’t know how. But it’s not like I made my mind up yet, I just…”  

You childishly got up and stormed off to avoid either an emotional breakdown or a temper tantrum, leaving everyone at a loss for words back at the table.  

“Dude,” Beomgyu says wide-eyed, watching a frozen Soobin with a shocked face, still glued to his seat. “She came to me crying last night, worried sick about you. She even opened up about her dad for the first time” Beomgyu wasn’t one to get angry fast but he had a distaste for injustice. “What?” Soobin says turning into a statue.

“You do know her dad left under similar conditions, right?” Tae added.  

“I-” Soobin stuttered, eyes guilty and wide. How did he forget?  

“Oh my god, for the love of god, go! Run after her. Go!” Yeonjun says pulling Soobin out of his seat with all of his strength.  

Soobin didn’t fully grasp what was going on but his feet started to run in your direction automatically.  

He spotted you at the end of the hallway. You were speed walking out of the building, so he decided to take the short route in order to catch up to you outside.  

He ran through the large double doors, making a quick turn so he could grab you. “Y/n wait!” Soobin hasn’t run this fast since PE in high school. He was completely out of breath, pulling you into a random alley around the school building.  

You stared at him in bewilderment, quickly wiping your wet eyes so he wouldn’t notice but it was already too late. “`Y/n…” he sulked, grabbing your face with both hands so he could make you look up at him.  

You sniffed, removing his hands from your face and created some distance. “I want…I want to be alone.” You lied.  

The thing is that you knew what was best for him. You knew that moving in with his sister was what he needed to do for himself, but selfishly you wished he’d stay. You wished his future would be brighter with you in it, but not when there’s a dark cloud following him home every day. How could he heal if he couldn’t move on?    

“I thought that…maybe there was something more there than just…sex,” you whispered. It made Soobin’s eyes widen, taking a step closer to you so he could take your hand in desperation.  

“There is! Trust me you know I’d never hurt you like that. I told you how I felt about you so many times but this…y/n it's’ bigger than us. We’ve barely been in each other’s lives for two weeks”  

Ouch. That one rubbed you the wrong way, but in his defense, it just came out of his mouth miserably.  

“So that’s it then? Soobin…do you know how hard It is for me to open up to anyone!?” Anger started to take over as you yanked your hand out of his hold.  

“…You’re acting like there’s no way we can make the distance work.”  

“You’re the one who made it seem like our time together is forgettable enough to not even explore a different option other than moving across the state! We both know that the shift from being literal neighbors to being cities away is going to kill us.”  

“Well staying in that house is going to kill me!” Soobin raised his voice in frustration, making you take a step back in silence as you looked at your feet.  

“It's not fair,” you mumble as your voice cracks, which made Soobin soften up again.  

He didn’t want to admit that you were right, because admitting meant that he had to just be okay with losing you and he didn’t want that. However, deep down he had already made up his mind. There’s nowhere else for him to go other than his sister, and after everything, a family might just be the thing he needs most right now.  

“Y/n I don’t want us to end like this. I don’t want you to feel like I’m choosing not to stay and fight for you. It’s not that black and white. I can’t be a good boyfriend if I stay under their roof. It’ll consume me.” His voice cracked too as he stared at you with despair.  

You looked back at him, trying your hardest to fight your tears. “Then it’s best if we go our separate ways now before someone seriously gets hurt.”  

Why were you doing this?  

Soobin’s eyes widened. “What?”  

“Like you said, it’s barely been two weeks.” You shrugged. Striking first was always your way to cope so you wouldn’t get hurt. It was your way of staying in control, but it was no use because it already hurt. So. Fucking. Much.  

“Y/n…don’t.” Soobin tried to grab your hand again but you didn’t let him. He watched tears spill from your eyes this time, and right before he could say something else you were already gone.  

Your mom was on her weekly grocery shopping spree and not so accidentally stumbled into the department store. She was going to buy you something in hopes it’d make you less angry at her, even if it was just a little bit.  

She was used to the stares from countless men surrounding her. The sound of her heels and the smell of her perfume announced her presence before she walked into the room. It’s like she ran this town as she greeted every employee.

She was scanning aisle after aisle, hoping to get you a cute bag or something until she spotted a familiar tall figure in the luggage section.  

“Yeah, I know. I still have some unpacked boxes, so I’ll just throw the rest in a suitcase.”  

Your mom moved in closer, eavesdropping on the conversation Soobin was having over the phone with his sister. “Why are suitcases so damn expensive,” Soobin mumbled in annoyance, grabbing the tag of another one behind it.  

Your mom squinted her eyes, moving her cart aside so she could get closer to him. “Going on a trip?” your mom’s voice scared the fuck out of Soobin, he nearly dropped his phone and almost knocked over the whole rack of suitcases as they made eye contact.  

Your mom smiled at him widely, raising an eyebrow still calmly awaiting his response. “I…uh…I’ll call you back.” He quickly hung up the phone and regained composure, straightening out his back after putting his phone in his pocket.  

“I’m guessing you’re the reason my daughter’s been extra sad lately?” She assumed, crossing her arms.  

“Uh..extra? I- What do you mean…”  

“She’s always grumpy. cause she lives with me. But ya know…she hasn’t been eating or sneaking out in the middle of the night so I’m guessing.” She rolled her index finger in the air theatrically to end up pointing it in Soobin’s face. “That it has something to do with you.”  

Soobin licked his lips, not knowing how to get out of this one. “I think it’s better if you talk to her about it.”  

“She doesn’t talk to me. We both know that.” Your mom rolled her eyes, making Soobin even more uncomfortable than he already was as he looked around the store.  

“…Mam, I’m sorry but-”  

“You’re not leaving her, right?” She interrupted him. “Because it looks like…you’re leaving,” she said pointing at the suitcase.  

“You and my dad didn’t give me much of a choice.” Soobin bit back. Your mom raised her eyebrow in pleasant surprise. She liked the fire Soobin had in him. Just because it reminded her of herself.  

“Where are you going Soobin?” Your mother asked sternly.  

“To live with my sister.”  

“Where?”  

“It’s like 2 hours away.” Soobin sighed, but that made all the puzzle pieces fall into place in your mothers’ brain.  

“Soobin. You’re not leaving my daughter like this, not another man. You can’t just pack up your shit and go. She already went through that once. It wasn’t pretty.”  

“She…she broke up with me? And it’s not like I want to. I don’t have much of a choice.” Soobin says in his defense. It was like he was reliving the last conversation he had with you.  

“Oh, you dumbo, do you really think, that someone as in love as her would selfishly make you stay in a situation that would make you unhappy? I might not be mom of the year, but I know my baby.”  

Soobin paused for a second…hold on….in love? He wasn’t quite following anymore, too overwhelmed with the fact that he was even having this conversation with your mom of all people.  

“Let’s go talk somewhere else shall we.” She said looping her arm through Soobin’s. He mindlessly followed her, feeling like he got kidnapped in public.  

It didn’t take long before they made it to a random café, your mom got both of them coffees as they sat down at a table outside. Soobin politely thanked her for the drink, wrapping his hands around his hot cup.  

“First off. I apologize for taking part in…your life going to shit.” Your mom immediately says as she sits down in front of him.  

Soobin’s eyes widened, swallowing harshly. “But just so you know, if it wasn’t me it would’ve been the other housewife next door so…”  

Soobin snorted, bitterly smiling at his cup. “With all due respect, it would’ve made things less complicated if it was the other housewife.”  

Your mom let out a cackle, admiring his sense of humor. “I bet yeah…But I mean it. I’m sorry.”  

He nodded and silence took over completely. Your mothers’ expression switched from playful to worried as she watched Soobin take a sip of his drink. “I’ve never seen my daughter happier than she has been for the past two weeks you know.”  

“I got the impression that you weren’t really around to notice,” Soobin says taking a bite of his complimentary biscuit while remaining eye contact. For an introvert, he was really pushing his social boundaries today, cause he was bolder than ever.  

Your mom scoffed. “I’m a single mom with a daughter in college. Someone has to pay for that tuition, and I can’t really make that happen by sitting around, can I?”  

Soobin raised his eyebrows, nodding to show that he understood. He didn’t want to ask any further questions because he knew that getting answers to how your mom made her money would complicate things even further, but he could definitely guess.  

“Speaking of college. Have you tried the dormitory?” She asked interrupting Soobin’s thoughts.  

Soobin nodded, leaning back in his chair. “They had no available units cause it’s the middle of the semester and even if they did it's too expensive.”  

Your mothers’ ear perked up. “I can help.”  

“What? No. I’m not taking your money.”  

“No, no. I mean…I know someone on the board of your Uni. I could easily make it happen.”  

“…H-how?” Soobin was showing interest now, waiting for her to continue talking.  

“Ever since I found out y/n was accepted into that school I started cozying up to one of the school board members if you know what I mean. To make life a bit easier for us if needed.”  

Soobin couldn’t help but scrunch his nose at the revelation, but he had more questions. “Why would he help?”  

“Because he doesn’t want his wife and kids to know what daddy did two summers ago.” Your mom grimaced wiggling her eyebrows, making Soobin cover his mouth in disbelief.  

Shit.  

“That’s evil…but I’m in.” Soobin says with determination in his eyes, mimicking your mom’s mischievous grin.  

“Leave.” You were hiding under your blanket, trying to get Yeonjun to leave you the fuck alone this Friday night. You didn’t even know how he got in here, but you can only imagine that it was your mom’s doing.  

You were still mourning your potential relationship with Soobin and couldn’t wrap your head around the fact that he had probably already left without saying goodbye.  

“No.” he groaned, rubbing his forehead. “It’s the costume party tonight. Get your ass up.”  

“I’m not fucking going.” You protest, turning your back towards him like a child. 

“Yes, you are, get up. Fun is what you need. It’s what I need,” he says shaking you violently to get a reaction out of you.  

“I don’t even have a costume.”  

“Yes, you do. I made Beomgyu pick up the batgirl costume for you.”  

“What?”  

“I’m a Virgo, y/n. I think before you do.” Yeonjun winked but you still weren’t really warming up to the idea of leaving your house for a stupid college party.  

“There’s no batgirl without batman.” You mumble bitterly.  

“Now…that’s not very feministic of you.”  You rolled your eyes but Yeonjun’s patience was running thin as per usual. He sighed, ripping the covers off of you. 

“Trust me. Please.” Yeonjun climbed on top of your bed and looked at you with desperate eyes.  

He stared at you fiercely and you stared back, but when he started to pout you gave in, aggressively kicking the air before getting up. “Where’s the fucking costume?” you spit out in defeat.  

Yeonjun’s eyes lit up, giggling like a baby as he pulled the costume out of his bag.  

Luckily it didn’t take too long to get ready, Yeonjun assisted where he could and pushed you out of the front door in no time. He gave your mom a quick wink, who was situated on the couch with a glass of wine in her hand. She raised the wine glass towards Yeonjun and took a sip, smiling to herself as she averted her attention back on the tv once you both left.  

“Woooow, look who it issss, It’s batgirl!” Beomgyu beamed at you, excitedly walking over as he held out his hand for you. He made you twirl around for him once and you could help but crack a smile, especially since he handed you your favorite drink. “You look great!” He screamed over the blaring music.  

“So do you…but uhm…what is…” you tried to guess who he was supposed to resemble but you had no idea to be completely honest.  

“I found out Yeonjun changed his costume to sexy vampire, so I dressed as Buffy the vampire slayer.” Beomgyu chirps wiggling his eyebrows up and down. 

You cackled out loud, showing a genuine smile for the first time in a while. “It’s ok if people don’t get it, he’ll definitely understand, and hate me for it,” he says with a mischievous grin on his face. “Well, you look very handsome Buffy.” You compliment him before you both down the drinks in your hands in one go.

Shortly after you watched Hueningkai and Taehyun approach dressed as the penguin from happy feet and Mike Tyson, the boxer. Tae even drew the gap in his teeth with some black marker and you applauded his eye for detail followed by all of you touching the fluff on Hueningkai’s adorable suit.  

You were thankful for them, just an hour ago you would rather stay in than be here but now that you were actually having fun again you felt so much better already.  

You looked around, raising your eyebrow. “…Hey, where is Yeonjun?”  

Yeonjun’s sexy vampire attire was more than in the way as he ran across campus. The fucking shit he does for his friends is insane. His cape was flying in the air as he ran towards the dormitory building, catching stares and laughs from people all around.  

He got there out of breath, knocking on the door of the room across his own with the little energy he had left. “I’m here.” He announced, and that’s when the door opened with a dramatic swing.  

Soobin’s bottom half was dressed in the batman costume and his top half was well…nude.  

Yeonjun eyes traveled down his body before making eye contact shortly after to snap out of it “…You’re late! WHY did you call me here, she’s already at the party and why aren’t you dressed?”  

“I can’t get in this thing by myself, it’s tight as hell and I can’t zip it from the back either,” Soobin complained as he pulled Yeonjun into his room, closing the door behind him so Yeonjun could help him get dressed in private.  

“Aren't you glad this room comes with blinds” Yeonjun teased as he pulled on the spandex with all his power from one side as Soobin pulled on the other side.  

Soobin rolled his eyes with a smirk finally getting one arm into the suit, followed by the other shortly after. The sight must’ve been a hilarious one to see because the two of them were moaning and groaning, completely out of breath by the time Yeonjun was able to zip up Soobin’s suit.  

“Now let’s hope you don’t have to pee 'cause I’m not helping you do that.” Yeonjun jokes which made Soobin shove him aside with a smirk.  

“Here’s the mask,” Yeonjun says grabbing it from Soobin’s bed. “Now let’s go. I’m dying to see the look on her face once she sees you.”  

Yeonjun was already at the door but Soobin hesitated, looking in the mirror with big insecure eyes as his gaze met Yeonjun’s. “What if she actually hates me.”  

“She doesn’t,” Yeonjun says grabbing Soobin by the arm. “Trust me. She’ll be happy to see you, just don’t forget to mention the fact that you’re staying.” He says giving Soobin aggressive pats on the back before the two of them left for the party.  

You went around the building to get into photobooths and talk to some of your classmates. Everyone was complimenting you on your costume but even though you were usually awkward with compliments, you decided to confidently own it and thank them with a smile. A fake one at that, because even though this thing was a good distraction, Soobin still lived in your mind rent-free.

You avoided the crowd on the dance floor and walked over to the table your friends had already claimed prior to exploring the grounds. “Ok, I’m seriously starting to get worried about Yeonjun. What if he ran into one of his exes?” you say as you sit down.  

“He's over there,” Taehyun announced, pointing at the entrance and that’s when you saw Yeonjun, followed by some masked dude in a batman costume. You looked at your attire and then back to him...and that’s when it clicked when you noticed his unique lip shape.  

It was Soobin.  

Your eyes widened as you stiffened and before you could say anything Beomgyu got up, running off to the dance floor while Tae gave you a motivating pinch on the shoulder followed by a thumbs up from Hueningkai as they followed Beomgyu to give you some privacy.  

You stared at Soobin in disbelief, although, it didn’t quite go unnoticed how good he looked in the skin-tight suit he had on.  

Shit. Shit. Shit.  

Why would they arrange this!?  

“I’ll leave you two to it.” Yeonjun gave you a wink, pushing Soobin down on a chair he pulled out next to yours.  

As Yeonjun disappeared it was hard for you to look at Soobin. You were literally going to kill your friends for doing this. Putting you in matching outfits was one thing but leaving you alone was another.  

Soobin bit his lip, wishing it wasn’t this awkward between you two. “You know…I walked around campus with a spandex wedgie, had Yeonjun dress me and everyone kept looking at me so I would…appreciate it if…you’d talk to me.”

He started to nervously bounce his leg up and down awaiting your response and that’s when you couldn’t hold it in anymore. You looked at him, cracking a smile. “We look…ridiculous.” You start, making Soobin smile at you from ear to ear. “We do.” He looked at the table and then back at you with a shy smile, taking your hand in his own as he sighed. “I’m sorry about…our fight. I never should’ve said the things I did and-”  

“I’m sorry too. I realized I was just…pushing you away.” You interrupted him which made him sigh in relief as he nodded.  

“But I don’t think it changes anything Soobin, like…it’s really sweet that you showed up and it’s even sweeter that your introverted ass went to these lengths to do so but…you’re still…leaving.”  

Soobin looked up with wide eyes, remembering that he still had to disclose the biggest fucking turn of events.  

“I…I’m not leaving.” Soobin says, which made your head snap back into his direction, your shaky pupils looking for more answers in his own as your heart stopped beating.  

“Huh?” your mouth fell agape, and he nodded to assure you that he wasn’t playing with you.  

“It was your mom actually.” Soobin smiled.  

“…My mom?” you raised your eyebrows in surprise.  

“She got me enrolled into the dorms here.”  

“What!? How!?”  

“She…knew a guy.” He vaguely explained.  

“…Of course she did.” You smiled to yourself in disbelief but for the first time in a long time, you were happy that your mom is who she is.

“…Why didn’t you tell me before? The past week had been absolute hell.”   Soobin pouted, squeezing your hand for comfort. “I wanted to be 100% sure. I didn’t want to give you any false hope if shit didn’t work out and I literally got the keys to the place today, you wouldn’t believe it; I live right across from Yeonjun so that’s going to be…eventful.”  

You listened to him speak attentively, with stars in your eyes. Your heart swelling more and more by the second.  

“Once he found out he and Beomgyu set the whole mission of reuniting batgirl and batman in action so…here I am.” He remarks as he opened his arms.  

A smile crept up on your lips, launching yourself forward to kiss him as you swiftly moved onto his lap; not caring who was watching or that you were in public.  

Soobin was startled at your directness at first but immediately relaxed into the kiss once you moved sideways on his lap. He wrapped his arms around you, firmly grabbing onto your waist so you wouldn’t slip and slide against him because of your costumes’ as he skillfully yet passionately made out with you.  

You were pulled out of your little bubble as you heard cheering from the dance floor. You both stopped for a second, looking back as you see the boys cheering, clapping, and celebrating as they looked your way and all you could do was laugh at them.  

So maybe you could have your happily ever after after all? 

They minded their business again soon after, but somehow it made you want to join them with all of the adrenaline still rushing through your bloodstream.  

“Come on, let’s dance.” You tried to get up but Soobin stopped you from moving, violently shaking his head. “You’ve awoken the monster.” He says, looking down at his crotch.  

“What?” you stared at him in disbelief. You knew you looked hot, but this…  

You couldn’t help but laugh at the bizarre situation, but he just sulked at you.  

“Y/n if I get up the suit might rip, just so you know.”  

“Well then stop it!” you yell  

“I can’t control it!” he yells back.  

You clasped your hand over your mouth to stop laughing, but Soobin gave you a scowl, throwing his head back in pain. “Well, what do we do about it?” you ask.  

“…”  

He crashed his lips into yours once you made it past the entrance to his new room. He pushed your back onto the mattress, yanking your body down the bed by your legs which made you yelp at his eagerness and the way he was manhandling you. “Soobin the…fucking suits,” you interrupt, making him halt his movements for a while.  

He thought about it for a good second, knowing damn well the two of you would not be going back to that party anyway. He turned you around, giving your ass a hard smack before ripping the suit apart at the hem by your butt. You gasped in shock, but he pushed you back down with an evil smirk, ripping his own suit apart as well to reveal his dick. He pumped himself a few times, spitting on your pussy and his own length to make this more enjoyable for the two of you as he swiped the wetness up and down your slit with his tip.

“You good?”  

You nodded into his pillow, hugging it as you lay on your stomach. He inserted himself gently inch by inch, making the two of you sigh in relief when he bottomed out into you. He eyed your reaction but you seemed to enjoy it, so he started moving slowly, steadily pumping his length in and out of you as your moans grew louder once he found a nice rhythm. This position was new to both of you, but it felt amazing as he grazed all the right spots deeper than ever.  

“You take me so well baby.” He whispered in your ear, which gave you goosebumps all over. He leaned his chest against your back, reaching around to squeeze your tits that were still snugly fit inside the stupid batgirl suit with his large hands.  

His movements started to get rougher, skin-slapping sounds filling the room accompanied by both of your moans and groans. You were feeling euphoric, your eyes rolling back as he crashed his hips into you harder and harder. His hand moved from your chest to your throat, cutting off your breathing by pinching the sides of your throat just the right way until it sent you over the edge completely.  

You screamed his name as you came, desperately gasping for air but seeing you so fucked out and helpless only edged him on to keep going. You were grabbing fistfuls of his sheets as he continued to prone bone you into the mattress until he reached his own high, you were completely overstimulated, but you couldn’t say that you hated it, in fact; you think you might've just discovered a brand new kink. He pulled out right before he erupted, coating the back of your suit with cum as he let out a loud groan filled with pure ecstasy.  

His breathing was ragged, but he looked down at you in awe as he calmed down. “So pretty.” He mused, watching how the moonlight coming from the window shone on your cum covered bare ass.  

You looked back at him with a corny smile, before realizing where the only source of light was coming from…. his goddamn window.  

“Soobin…for the love of god.” You say pointing at the open window.  

“yeah, yeah I know.” He said quickly putting on a random pair of basketball shorts over his suit so his dick wouldn’t flop out.  

You giggled and went into his bathroom to clean yourself up quickly. Soobin however was still on cloud nine and moved around the room like a sloth. He turned on the lights so he could shut the curtains but just as he took a hold of the curtain to close it, he froze; watching a frat guy give him a thumbs up from the windowpane of the opposite building.  

Fuck.  

It seems like Soobin is and will always be…someone’s naked neighbor.  

The end

#soobin smut #soobin imagines #soobin imagine #soobin scenarios #choi soobin smut #choi soobin scenarios #soobin hard hours #txt hard hours #txt smut #txt scenarios #txt imagines #txt au #soobin au #kpop smut #kpop hard hours #kpop imagines #tomorrow x together smut #tomorrow x together imagines #tomorrow x together scenarios #txt imagine #txt fanfic #soobin fanfic #soobin angst #soobin fluff #yeonjun scenarios #yeonjun fluff #beomgyu scenarios #taehyun scenarios #hueningkai scenarios #kpop scenarios

[deleteddewewted]

can you write abt when ghost finally does feel comfortable to have sex w the reader? 👀

Ghost Recovering From His Sexual Trauma (Continuation)

Ghost x Gn! Reader

Summary: Simon is far enough in his recovery process that he's more. comfortable taking his clothes off and letting his partner touch him. He tries new things and set new boundaries with you. He knows he's still got a long road of him but he's happy to go through it with you.

W: Mentions of sexual abuse (past), Trauma being recounted, Semi victim blaming (Self Victim Blaming), Dead Dove (not too intense), healthy sexual boundaries, NSFW, sexual deviancy, Experimenting sexually, Pegging/Penetration, Dom/sub themes

He's finally better, at least that's what his therapist tells him. He feels it too. His workouts are much more positive in their intentions. He's exercising because he likes the way it makes his body feel and how you react to his body instead of doing it as a form of punishment. He no longer uses the mask as much in private when he's in his courters or when at your home. He likes the way the sun feels against his skin, how your skin feels against his own. The feeling of your hand on his cheek is reassuring and he doesn't flinch when you caress his face anymore which makes him feel better about taking his medication.

When you undress him for the first time, you're slow and checked in on him every time you're wanted to remove something from him. He told you to go all the way.

"Take everything off for me, love." You kissed his scars, his pale skin, and the inner part of his thighs before kissing his face.

Your hands on him, your mouth on him, you on top of him. It felt like heaven. He laid in your shared bed like he always dreamed he would and allowed you to do as you pleased. You rode him, his cock inside your hole and filling you with his release. He was overwhelmed by pleasure but it wasn't something he wanted to end. He liked it.

The bites you left on his neck made him feel claimed in a possessive and adoring way. The red streaks from your nails scratching his back and chest had him thrilled. It hurt but in a pleasant way. It stung and left behind reminders as to what he had done with you.

You fucking him like there's no tomorrow, lube/cum coming out of his ass after you pegged/fucked him into the mattress when he asked you "Take the memories of what they did to him away." He wanted something new to fill him. New memories and new sensations consumed his body all while you did all that you wanted with him.

The marking, the claiming, it all brought him a sense of comfort he didn't think was possible for him considering what he had gone through. He liked it so much that he started asking you to do it outside of the bedroom.

This didn't mean he didn't have issues with some aspects of intimacy. When you'd ask him if he wanted to try something new, maybe putting something inside him or even fingering him. Maybe you wanted to have him wear a gag or a cuffs. He would shut it down without wanting to discuss it, not that he owed you any explanation. The guilt of not participating in something that you wanted would bring him to panic attacks at times because he felt like he had failed you as a partner. It was worse if he had to be deployed for months on end when he knew that you missed him physically.

He intensified his therapy and made sure to write some of his more perturbed and vulnerable thoughts into a journal that he would read through to see his progress. He would let you read it too but you never accepted since you wanted him to have something for himself that he didn't need to share.

"Do you think you'd ever want to get hitched to me?" It was such an out-of-the-blue question but none the less you answered.

He wanted to grow old for the first time in his life. He wanted to wake up to you either inside of you or just wrapped around you. The violence in his head calmed when he felt your flesh on his own, the screaming of the past wasn't important while he lay beside you. He wanted to watch the years fade by all while he got to mark your skin just like you'd do with his. He wanted to feel pain if it meant having yous stay with him for the rest of his life and the rest of forever.

He was happy to just be as long as you held him and loved him. As long as you reminded him that he was someone worthy of love and not some cheap whore for a quick thrill.

He promised himself that if he could he would get you a ring when he was fully ok or at least somewhat fixed. He's happy to commit himself fully to you, someday, soon, hopefully soon so he can parade himself like a prideful man.

#ghost x reader #ghost simon riley #mw2 ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #simon riley #ghost cod #ghost mw2 #simon riley ghost #dd speaks #mw2 #simon riley x #simon riley x y/n #simon riley x you #cod

[heartbreakgrill]

stiles stilinski: breakable heaven; pt. 9- “killing me slow, out the window. i’m always waiting for you just to cut to the bone.”

a/n: EEEK! one more after this cuz i’m a lying liar and can’t stop writing.

stiles leaned his chin against his fist, staring out the window of the second floor room in the hospital. outside, the sun was setting. the rain poured down in a thick stream, bouncing off the pavement. lightening crashed through the sky every so often, and more than once, the lights had flickered. stiles was on the edge of his seat, anxious. he hoped this was just a storm, not anything deeper than that.

down below, the parking lot was sparse of people. cars pulled in and out while the time dragged by. but, it was an unusually quiet night for beacon hills memorial hospital. outside of y/n’s room, stiles ears were only occasionally prickled by the sound of shoes squeaking against the linoleum floors. the stillness made him nervous.

stiles took another deep sigh. his chest lifted with the effort, falling as he let the air out of his nose. his eyes followed a car as it rolled into the parking lot. then, bored of the sight, and restless in his nature, stiles’ turned his knees back towards the hospital bed behind him. his gaze rolled over y/n, who was still just laying there. she was blacked out and a breathing mask sat overtop her face. an iv drop was attached to her left hand. a thin, scratchy hospital-issued blanket was tugged up to her chin, but overtop, stiles had lay his hoodie on her. he’d wanted to run over to her house, grab a blanket, a pillow from her room. but, he didn’t want to leave her sound.

stiles leaned forward, rested his elbows on the edge of the bed, and picked y/n’s hand up off of her stomach. he’d shifted between this exact position, staring out that window, and pacing the room so many times in the last 24 hours. he didnt know what else to do with himself. the nurse on duty kept assuring him that y/n would wake up, at any time. that y/n would be alright, so long as she woke up tonight. it didn’t necessarily mean y/n would be dying- but, that’s when they should all be concerned.

as if stiles didn’t have enough to worry about.

after all, his dad was missing. still. and they had no new leads.

scott had headed to derek’s loft, to warn him about jennifer. that was just a few hours ago. he hasn’t received any updates on the situation. and this storm was intensifying his anxieties.

then, stiles also wasn’t sure where anyone else was- but he just hoped that they were out looking for answers. no one was responding to his text messages.

he wanted to be out there, helping, but when scott had offered him to come to derek’s loft- stiles said no. stiles didn’t want to leave y/n alone. besides, he was paralyzed by the situation. he already lacked any physical enhancements that would offer up any sort of help to the situation. and, now, he was mentally unstable, as well. he couldn’t stopped crying, couldn’t stop his breath from quickening every few minutes. it was taking all of his energy to not crawl up into himself and panic until he wasted away.

the girl he loved was nearly in a coma, and his dad was missing. the

if only she were awake…she would say something, anything, that would help him. she would remind him of his strength and perseverance. she would hug him, kiss his cheek, and make him feel, for just a minute, that the world was simple. that he could get his dad back.

right now, he felt so hopeless.

the only thing that kept him going was the hope of her opening her eyes, squeezing back his hand. it pushed him forth.

it helped, too, that no one else had been taken, quite yet. once they were, once two more guardians were reported missing- that’s when stiles knew his dad was going to die.

stiles brushed his thumb across her knuckles, a pattern he found some grounding root in, and sniffled. he pressed their joined hands to his forehead and leaned his head down. holding back a sob, stiles stuttered out, “i don’t know what to do.”

as if a prayer was being answered, he felt y/n’s fingers twitch between his own. he quickly lifted his head, snapping his gaze to her struggling face.

y/n squinted her eyelids, her vision blurry as she tried to pry open her sight. the fluorescent lights burned her tired, weary eyes, only making her struggle more. it took her more than a moment to adjust, but when she did, she had to process a lot of information. first, her gaze latched to her body- the hospital gown and blankets were itchy against her skin, and she could feel the iv digging at her skin. the breathing mask was restrictive over her face, but the air pumped into her lungs felt so fresh. mostly, what she felt was pain- her legs hurt, her ribs ached, and her head was pounding.

she slowly regained control throughout her body. it was that buzzing feeling one normally got after this leg fell asleep- staticky and nerve-prickling. eventually, her fingers twitched, her toes wiggled, and she was able to take in stiles. he perked up as her eyes fell onto his, immediately jumping from his chair. he never let go of her hand, even as stiles found the nurse’s call button and pressed it rapidly. he leaned his torso over her.

“oh, my god,” he breathed out, gratefully. more tears streamed down his face, but he didn’t care. stiles set a hand to her cool cheek, touch finalizing the fact that she was really conscious again. “you’re awake! thank god- you’re awake, baby.”

y/n wanted to say something, but her throat was scratchy from having not spoken for a day. there was, also, a mask prisoning her mouth. a small cough forced it’s way from her throat. stiles carefully pulled it from her face. y/n lay her hand over his, helping him move it. it left a red, dented mark over either of her cheeks. they slid their fingers into one another’s.

“wha-“ she coughed slightly, clearing her throat, “what happened?” short, fading clips rolled over her working memory, like filing cabinets rattling around, shutting and closing to quickly for her to grab onto anything.

stiles lay a hand on her face, unable to focus on her words, “i’m so fucking happy you’re awake.”

“stiles,” she furrowed her brows, “what happened?”

stiles was going to explain everything to her, though he was afraid. he was sure she didn’t remember of anything, especially everything he had told her before they went to the school. so, having to explain it all to her again, especially now that she had been nearly killed by the very thing stiles warned her of- would she reject him? would she want nothing to do with not only that part of his life, but him, too?

stiles didn’t know if he’d survived losing his dad and her all within the same day. he needed her.

just as he opened his lips, hesitant words waiting on his tongue, the nurse was rushing into the room. stiles couldn’t remember her name.

she looked more than concerned, clutching her stethoscope around her neck with white knuckles. when she saw y/n, eyes wide open, breathing mask in her hand, she flinched slightly.

she went to say something, too, but lightening cracked overtop of the hospital. it was loud, louder than the storm had been moments ago. and it sounded like the wind was crashing against the hospital in thick, tormenting waves.

“good thing you’re awake,” her breathy words fell into the air, a slight, nervous humor in her tone.

then, another lightening strike crashed, and the lights in the hospital blacked out. y/n instantly grabbed at stiles’ wrist, tight, and he slipped his fingers into her. y/n’s body was shaking.

“what’s happening?” stiles demanded.

the backup generator powered on. the lights were dimmer than before, and an alarm began blasting throughout the building. a warning. y/n flinched, again, at the sound, squinting her eyes shut and tilting her head away from the noise. her forehead banged against her skull.

“we have to go! they’re evacuating the hospital because of the storm. there’s an ambulance leaving in ten minutes, and another in twenty. we need to get you on one of them,” the nurse quickly shot to y/n’s bedside. she took the breathing mask from her hands and began moving the iv stand about. “do you think you can walk?”

y/n glanced at stiles, her pupils wide with fear. she shook her head, “i don’t know!”

“it’s okay,” stiles nodded once. he managed to keep his tone steady, reaching out to help her off the bed, “it’s okay. here.”

the nurse met stiles on his side of the bed. she carefully set y/n’s legs off the side of the bed, her feet barely touching the cold floor. then, y/n’s nurse quickly slipped the young girl’s pants up her legs, a pair of hospital socks on her feet. y/n gripped either of their hands as they helped her stand, their support also pressing onto her elbows. she hissed as she stood up, bunched over from the pain. her chin dropped into her chest. stiles securely held onto her waist, her hand squeezing tightly into his other.

“hold onto this,” the nurse wheeled y/n’s iv stand over to stiles. he hesitated, unsure of how he was going to manage that.

but, he wrapped a fist around it. as soon as he had he did, the nurse bolted out of the room to help other patients. stiles stared after her, jaw slack, and a little more than pissed off at her lack of beside manners. “ok, wow. um- okay, baby, okay…we’ve gotta go, okay?”

y/n looked up at him with a pained expression. tears streaked down her face, “stiles…i don’t-“

her knees gave out on her. y/n nearly collapsed to the ground, but stiles grabbed onto her waist. he felt her entire body shaking beneath his touch, both from the pain coursing throughout her injuries and her fear.

“hey, hey! it’s okay! hey, here.”

stiles carefully pulled the iv from the needle in her hand, then looped her arms over his shoulders. “please, baby, hold on to me, okay?”

he felt y/n nod against his chest, weakly. her hold tightened onto his neck. stiles crouched down an inch more so he could get his hands under her knees. he picked her up in his arms, more than surprised by his own strength. the machines beeped, wildly, as they lost connection to her body. but, that was just background noise. outside, he could hear dozens of people rushing past, the alarm still blaring.

stiles kicked the door to her room open, pausing as those people rushed past him, down the hallway, towards the elevators. the lights flickered again and everyone yelped in fear. stiles glanced down as he felt y/n’s hair tickle his neck, her head lolled into the corner of his shoulder. her eyes were squeezed shut, teeth ground together as she tried not to scream.

“okay, here we go, baby,” stiles pushed them into the stream of people headed for any and all of the exits.

patients, nurses, and doctors moved against him, bumping y/n’s legs every so often, offering no help to the situation. he cursed every time they hit y/n and stiles, because she hissed in pain as they bumped her injuries. stiles kept glancing down at her to try to ensure she was okay, so he nearly tripped over his own feet, numerous times. but, somehow, he managed to keep going.

just as they reached the elevators, the doors popped open, and stiles was met with the sight of derek, scott, and jennifer. anger coursed through stiles veins, and his eyes darkened. he clenched his jaw as he took a step back. why was she here, with them? why had they brought her here? stiles just knew this storm was because of her.

y/n rustled in his arms as she tried to lift her head. she felt herself drifting in and out of consciousness. though she couldn’t really focus on anything happening- the lightening rattling the building, the chaos unfolding before them, the woman who nearly killed her standing the elevator- she could hear stiles’ heartbeat pounding against her ear. her fading consciousness was taken back to his jeep, his bare chest beneath her touch, his finger brushing patterns into her skin.

she heard his heartbeat quicken, his blood pumping angrily. she wanted to comfort him, remind him that it would be all be okay. they’d make it out. she’d live.

so, y/n wrapped her fingers around the back of his neck, tangling them into his hair. goosebumps rose beneath her touch. stiles felt his anger ease up as he focused onto her cold fingertips.

as a cooling breath fell between stiles’ lips, scott quickly ushered him into the elevator. the doors closed behind stiles’ back. and scott breaks the news to him, “the alpha pack is here. in the hospital.”

stiles shoots daggers at miss morrell, who is trying to avoid his gaze. if y/n wasn’t here, in his arms, he’d jennifer up against the wall, hand around her throat. he didn’t hear scott at first, not until his friend touches his shoulder. he meets scott’s eyes, “…they’re here? in the hospital? why? why are they here?”

“yeah,” scott nodded shortly, “but, that’s not the worst part. cora- she’s dying. but, jennifer says there’s something she can do to help. that’s why we brought her-“

“and we’re gonna trust her?” stiles’ voice rose, slightly, as he swung around to face the enemy. as he did, y/n groaned in pain. he was aware of himself, her in his arms, again, and quickly looked to see if she was okay.

scott could smell the fear and pain oozing off of y/n’s crumpled body. he set a hand on y/n’s knee, guiding stiles back to his side of the elevator, “here, stiles. i can help her.”

stiles met scott’s eye. he didn’t hesitate to nod, once, encouraging scott to take away her struggle, to allow her just a few moments of peace. the veins of scott’s hand then turned black, as the pain coursed from y/n’s body, into his own. stiles watched her face, brows lifting in hope as he watched the painful expression on her face fall. she relaxed back into his arms, the trembling of her body ceasing just a bit.

“there,” scott patted stiles’ shoulder. “that should help. but, you need to get her out of here. i don’t know what will happen if she gets stuck between us and the alpha pack.

“i know,” stiles lips trembled as pressed a kiss to her forehead. a tear escaped his head. then, he twisted his head towards jennifer. she finally met his eye, looking just a little uncomfortable. stiles frowned, “i know, scott. but- where’s my dad? where the fuck is my dad? does she have him still?”

jennifer went to respond, a cocky look in her eyes. but, the doors to the elevators opened, again. they had arrived to whatever floor scott had pressed the button for. stiles assumed it was where cora’s room was. scott stepped forward, bracing the situation with a hand atop the door so it could not close. it was relatively quiet on this floor, aside from the flickering lights, the blaring alarm, and the scattered patient’s charts across the floor. after their hesitation to gauge the situation, derek rushed towards cora’s room.

stiles didn’t really pay attention as scott and derek investigated. he kept a watchful eye on jennifer, gently brushing y/n’s hair from her forehead with a shaky hand. it was grounding, it helped him focus. jennifer met his gaze, again, a coy smile curling into her lips.

she narrowed her eyes and glanced down to y/n, “poor girl. how many broken ribs does she have? is she concussed, or no? what’s the state of our patient, mr. stilinksi?”

stiles licked his lips as his jaw rolled in frustration. his voice was low, “after you help us find my dad, i am going to kill you-“

“have her symptoms set in yet?” jennifer took a daring step forward, interrupting him.

stiles’ brows furrowed, just slightly, “wha-what? what other symptoms?”

y/n coughed, a movement that racked her entire body. jennifer flicked her brows up, as if she had been anticipating this. stiles glanced down at y/n, and noticed some black liquid lining her lips. she coughed, again, face scrunched in pain. a small trial of what stiles could only assume was black blood trickled down her chin.

stiles’ breathing hastened and he looked back up at jennifer, “what did you do to her? what the fuck did you do to her? you-you fix it! right now! fix her, or i’m going to tear every limb from your body!”

jennifer chuckled, “your threats don’t scare me, stiles. after all, you’re just a human. you’re nothing compared to scott. you don’t have claws or fangs.”

as jennifer spoke, she circled around stiles, forcing him to take small steps backwards, away from her threatening presence. he looked to scott and derek, who were fighting for their lives. he was on his own.

“you just have your annoying sense of humor, your inability to ever stop speaking. and, now,” she gestured at y/n with an amused expression, “a dying girlfriend.”

stiles sneaker skidded against the linoleum floor as he backed up out of the elevator. he looked down at his feet to keep his trembling balance. and, when he looked back up, the doors of the elevator were slowing closely. jennifer was getting away.

“good luck!” she waved slyly.

behind him, scott, derek, and the twins continued fighting. their mangled roars were evident, now, as stiles’ focused shifted from jennifer to their chaos. he glanced down at y/n, heart thumping wildly, now. the black blood was coating her chin, bubbling between her lips. but, she was still passed out.

stiles could no longer manage his anger. it was coursing through his veins, white, hot. he felt like he would explode.

so, stiles carefully set y/n on an abandoned hospital bed that was pushed up against the wall. he tried to roll her into what had been cora’s room, just to get her out of the way, so he could focus his anger towards something useful. but before he could, ethan and aiden threw a piece of fallen ceiling towards them. stiles barely managed to dodge out of the way before another piece followed the other. he came back onto his feet, quickly, rushing to y/n’s side. he used every ounce of strength to push y/n’s bed inside the room. his sneakers squealed against the floor. then, stiles heard a roar, and he looked up again, just in time.

the anger was heating up his reddened face, now. he searched for a weapon in the hallway, something to not only defend himself with, but something to fight back.

ethan and aiden were running towards him. stiles cursed under his breath as they neared. he found a pipe, ripped from the wall, on the floor by his feet. stiles gripped it in his fists and, with the strength only ever garnered by a boy protecting someone he loved, stiles hit the werewolves over their stupid, conjoined head.

they were sent, toppling, down the hallway. scott and derek rounded the mound of mangled skin and bone, glancing between it and stiles with an astounded shock.

“nice going,” scott held out a fist for stiles’ to pound with his own. instead, his friend pushed it away, slowly.

stiles looked up at scott with a crinkled expression, tears welling up in his eyes, “she’s dying, scott.”

–

the world came crashing down around stiles. he didn’t know what to do.

scott abandoned his friend, running off with deucalion to try to get answers to solve their problems. he instructed stiles to get y/n to dr. deaton- but he wasn’t going to help. stiles tried not to focus on his frustration that came from scott’s willingness to leave him, alone, with a dying girl- and not just any girl, but stiles’ girl.

so, stiles focused his energy on quickly awakening derek, hoping he would help get her to the animal clinic. he knew he would run into troubles, and he needed a werewolf on his side. after all, jennifer was right. he was just a human. he didn’t have any powers.

but, derek simply scooped up cora, and prepared to leave the hospital.

stiles stood in the door of the elevator blocking it as derek pressed a button. he demanded derek to help him. “derek!” stiles begged, voice less assertive, but more so just weak, “please! you have to help me! she-she’s dying! you have to help me!”

“i have to help my family first,” derek set cora against the wall of the elevator. he stepped forward, a hand raised in a move to shove stiles out of the way.

but, instead, stiles gripped at derek’s hand, a weary, bargaining look in his eyes, “you know i would help you! derek- you know i’d help. we can take them both there-! cmon, derek. pls-please?”

derek hesitated as stiles’ tone cracked. it seemed like he might, maybe, help stiles. his hesitation gave stiles a glimmer of hope. but, then, derek glanced over at cora, at the black blood pouring out of every crevice of her body. he ripped his hand from stiles touch, “i can’t.”

he refused to meet stiles’ sad eyes as he backed up into the elevator. stiles was frozen. derek thought he would have to shove the boy from the elevator, but, after a second, stiles took his own step back. his body was slack, still.

he was alone.

just as the doors began to close, derek finally met the burning gaze coming from stiles’ dark eyes. “you know i’d help you, derek.”

derek’s head dipped low.

tears streamed down stiles cheeks, a silent cry that took up every ounce of energy he had left. stiles watched the elevator close, secure and tight, hands slack at his sides. all of a sudden, a scream rose from his throat. stiles kicked at the stupid metal box, hard, yelling loudly.

a sob racked through his body as he turned back to y/n. stiles ripped his hands through his hair, kicking ripped pipes, pieces of ceiling, skidding them across the floor.

stiles came to slouch on the edge of her bed. he wanted to just lay at her side, content to suffocate within her shadow. he didn’t even know where to begin. he didn’t know how to get her out of here, to the animal clinic.

the police were here. the storm had blocked off several roads. jennifer was running loose again. the alpha pack was still on the prowl. stiles’ dad was missing.

and y/n was dying.

he at least knew the end goal, which was better than nothing- get her to the animal clinic. but, he had so many obstacles in his way. so many obstacles that required supernatural abilities he just did not have.

stiles slowly turned his head to y/n, shoulders dropped, head hung low. he brushed his finger across her temple. he smoothed the hair back from her forehead. “i’m so sorry,” he lips blubbered.

stiles felt like he had failed her. no- he knew he had failed her. because he had. “i’m so sorry, baby.” stiles crouched over her body, his head in the crook of her still neck, sobbing like a baby.

he’d gotten her caught up into this mess with his stupid lies and manipulation, when he could have just told her the truth. all of this could have been avoided. but, now; she was on her death bed. and it was all his fault.

he had killed her.

stiles stared at her for a while, maybe just a few minutes, admiring her peaceful beauty. he ran his fingers over her cheeks. he’d been in this position so many times before. but never like this. his chest, though filled with fear, mourning, made some room for the love he felt for her. because he did- he loved her. he loved her so much.

his mind raced, as he wondered when it was that he finally realized he loved her.

had it been the time she met his dad? when she sat with them after her shift and ate dinner? when she spoke of her dream for after high school, when she shared the most intimate details of her hopes? he remembered how much his heart had swelled as she talked. she was so smart, so intelligent and creative. he knew she had a bright, hopefully future outside of this stupid town.

or had it been the week earlier, when he had gone to her house for just a hook up. they watched a movie, some stupid, pointless movie that he talked through the majority. he kept looking over at her as she giggled, face lit dimly by the television. his chest constructed each time she laughed. everyone always thought his jokes were dumb, but she- she laughed.

then, they had sex, and stiles felt her in his bones. he felt her fingers like they were apart of his own hand and he felt her breath strung against his rib cage. she was becoming his, and he was becoming hers. they were each other’s, a rare but beautiful, promising thing. in this world, in this town- it was everything.

maybe that was it. maybe that was the moment he knew. when he realized she was everything to him.

stiles lifted his head, an energy pulsing through his bloodstream. maybe he didn’t have supernatural abilities. maybe the road ahead seemed impossible. and maybe, just maybe, he’d die at her side- but he would only die trying. for her. always for her. everything for her.

anything.

he knew, now, that he could do this, even if he had to go it alone. but, he wasn’t going to have to.

stiles lifted y/n, carefully, in his arms, again. her head hung over his arm, arm strewn towards the ground. stiles knew she was fading fast. he had to go- now.

but, then, the elevator bell dinged.

stiles looked towards the sound. a small ounce of fear itched at his brain. he didn’t know what was awaiting them on the other side of the doors.

then, they opened- and he breathed a sigh of relief.

allison, danny, and isaac stepped into the hallway, determined looks on their faces. danny drug his eyes from stiles, down to y/n. he took a deep, nervous breath, before met stiles’ tearful gaze, again.

“well,” danny spoke, a little fearful, but confident in his tone, “are we gonna save my best friend, or what?”

stiles nodded, once, “yes, we are. i have to tell her. i need her to know that i love her.”

#derek x stiles #stiles stilinksi fanfiction #stiles stilinksi imagine #stiles stilinksi x reader #stiles stilinski #stiles x lydia #stiles x reader #teen wolf #teen wolf stiles #teen wolf x reader

[eddiexmunsonlover]

(Eddie Munson x Plus Size!Fem!Reader)

Chapter 1

Next Chapter ->

WC: 2.8k

Warnings: MDNI. Explicit language used. Parental alcohol abuse, toxic family relationships, and bullying mentioned.

Author's Note: This first chapter is on the shorter side as it is mainly set-up, and provides a lot of information on Reader's background and friendships with other main characters.

Sunday, September 15th, 1985

The warm September air engulfs your face, blowing through your hair as the familiar streets of Hawkins pass by. Sitting in the passenger seat, head leaning against the door frame, and Led Zeppelin playing on a cassette tape as your mom drives the route home. Your new, and old home. It still didn’t feel quite real that you were back here, not so soon, and not to stay. Though you weren’t born there, Hawkins has always been the place you think of when you hear ‘home’. It wasn’t just the town or the trailer you’d lived in, but the people here that you held the fondest memories of in your heart and formed the deepest bonds you’ve ever had with anyone.

You were born in Virginia, and lived there until you were 8 years old. Until Dad’s drinking led him to lose yet another job, leaving your mother at a loss for what to do. She was smart and skilled, but didn’t make nearly enough money to support the family at the time. Her sister, Aunt Patty, encouraged your family to move out to where she lived in Hawkins, Indiana. Maybe a big move and change of pace was just what your family needed, she suggested. So, the summer before the start of 4th grade in 1976, your family made the move to the Forest Hills Trailer Park in Hawkins, Indiana. Your uncle helped your dad get a job with him doing construction, while your mother managed to find a decent paying receptionist job. 

Your home life wasn’t great. Your parent’s relationship was tumultuous at best, largely due to your father’s drinking problems. You and your mother at times were the best of friends, other times she made you feel like you were never good enough to meet her standards, whether it was with your weight, your grades, or how you dressed. Your school life had never been great either, and that didn’t change in Hawkins. You occasionally dealt with bullies that liked to make fat jokes, but it wasn’t all bad, you also formed some good, solid friendships too. 

Meanwhile, the issues at home and with your parents’ marriage only intensified after the move. After 6 years in Hawkins, your mom had finally had enough of your dad’s bullshit, kicking him out and planning to divorce him. A couple days later, he landed in Jail for a DUI, his 3rd one to be specific. A week after that, 3 months into your 10th grade year in late 1982, a UHAUL was packed up with all your belongings, moving your mom and you back to Virginia to stay with family. 

While the events of your home and school life were sometimes painful, you were grateful that they led you to seek out music for comfort and coping. Music is the love of your life, and what you always turn to when life and your thoughts feel like it’s just too much to bear. It started with the classics that your family raised you on, from Patsy Cline to Jimi Hendrix to Lynyrd Skynyrd to Johnny Cash. You loved all kinds of music, expanding your taste and catalog to a huge variety throughout the years, even beginning to work odd jobs in your early teens to fund your musical exploration. Music wasn’t just a way for you to escape, but became a way to express yourself as well. You learned how to play guitar and bass, and began songwriting as well as a means of emotional release and self-expression. It was the only thing that kept you sane through your life transitions, especially during the years living in Hawkins when problems at home intensified. Music, and him… Eddie Munson.

*Oh, all of my love, all of my love

Oh, all of my love to you…*

Your chest tightened as your thoughts inevitably went to him, how could they not? You tried your best to steer your mind away from him during the move back to Hawkins, but it was pointless. Eddie had been your best friend all those years you lived here, some of the hardest years of your life. Honestly, he was the best friend you’ve ever had. You liked to think you were the same for him, at least then. Your trailer was right across the street from Eddie’s Uncle Wayne’s trailer, Eddie oftentimes staying with Wayne for weeks or months at a time whenever Al Munson disappeared on a bender, some crime scheme, or his stints in jail. Though, you didn’t end up meeting Eddie until a few months after you moved and started 4th grade at Hawkins Elementary. 

A soft smile creeps across your face as you remember 5th grade Eddie, coming to your rescue when you tripped in the hallway at school, other students standing around and laughing at you. Your 9 year old self was mortified, so embarrassed, until Eddie appeared and told them all where they could shove it, effectively clearing the halls of students and helping you up. From then on, anytime he was at Wayne’s you two would hang out; playing make believe in the woods next to the trailer park, Eddie teaching you how to play DnD, sharing books, music, and watching scary movies. You two bonded over your pain caused by your family and Hawkins’ residents who’d branded you as outcasts. You both harbored a lot of pain and anger, sharing a love for metal music as the perfect cathartic release for those emotions. You’d become so close over the years. You often missed him during the times you didn’t get to see him as much, like whenever his Dad returned home and he wasn’t at Wayne’s as much, or when he moved on to middle and high school, being a grade ahead of you. Your friendship remained strong during those times regardless. 

But all of that is in the past. He was your best friend… though in your heart he still is, and always will be.

*I get a little bit lonely, just a little, just a little

Just a little bit lonely, just a little bit lonely*

You sigh as the song comes to an end and the sign for Forest Hills Trailer Park came into view. You hold your breath as your mother turns onto your road, Uncle Wayne’s trailer and yours coming into view. You don’t know why you feel anxious, Eddie would have graduated in ‘84, and likely gotten the hell out of Hawkins as soon as he could. Probably out in LA trying to make a name for himself in the music industry. You shook the thoughts from your head, noting the unfamiliar van in Wayne’s driveway as your mother pulled into your own across the street.

She sighs as she puts the car into park next to yours, a black ‘81 Chevy C10 truck that your father so generously gifted you upon hearing of your return to Hawkins. It’s the LEAST he could do. Your mother looked at you with a small smile, “Home sweet home”. You return her smile before both exiting her station wagon and begin unloading the last of your belongings. Your mom and you had already been back in Hawkins for a few days, staying with your Aunt Patty while coming to the trailer everyday to deep clean before moving back in. You could only assume your Dad had hit a rough patch when you heard he was being evicted from the trailer, missing a few rent payments. Around the same time back in Virginia as you were starting your senior year, your mom got laid off from her job. An old coworker from Hawkins then just so happened to tell her about an open position at her new job in Indianapolis, one that paid more than either of your Mom’s old jobs in Hawkins or Virginia. When she heard about your dad, it was decided, circumstances aligning perfectly. Upend your life and move back to Hawkins, again. You can’t say you were really upset about it, Hawkins has been home for you since that fateful day in 4th grade.

~

Eddie groaned in frustration. Searching his vest pockets, under his blanket, on any flat surface in his room for his goddamn cigarettes, patience quickly wearing thin. He huffed, looking along the floor of his room, around dirty and clean clothes thrown about until he saw the familiar package peeking out from under his bed. “There you areeee” a cheeky smile adorning his face as he grabbed it from the floor, swiftly removing a cigarette and putting it between his lips. He sat down on a chair he had propped next to the open window in his room as he lit the cigarette, taking a puff before looking out his window. Eyes landing on what appeared to be new neighbors moving into the trailer across the street. Your trailer. Wayne had told him about your dad, a small voice of hope in the back of his head wondered if you’d come back. A voice he’d quickly squashed. It’s been nearly 3 years since you’d left, and though he knew better than to think the thoughts of you would ever stop popping into his head, that certainly didn’t stop him from trying to keep them at bay.

Taking another puff from his cigarette, his attention was captured by the girl he saw across the street. Her back to him as she looks into the trunk of the station wagon in the driveway. He unashamedly lets his eyes take her in. Short, thick, curvy. Black shorts, cropped tank top, hair up in a messy bun. She didn’t look like most of the girls in Hawkins or in the magazines… and he liked, no, loved that. He couldn’t help but notice how much her body resembled yours, or atleast how he’d imagined it’d look now after the few years. He watched as she started to squat to lift a tv console out of the trunk. Being the gentleman his Uncle Wayne raised him to be, he was about to sprint over; introduce himself and help her, knowing how damn heavy those fuckers could be. Just as the thought passed his mind, she lifts it almost effortlessly, his eyes practically bulging from his head. He wasn’t expecting that to turn him on so much, but goddamn. He admires the thick arms and legs exerting that strength, unable to not notice the pronounced curve of her ass as she climbed the steps into the trailer. 

Before he could pop a semi, a burning sensation on his thigh grabs his attention. The cherry from his cigarette falling into his lap as he drooled over his new neighbor like a virgin.

“Shit, Jesus H. Christ!” he grimaces, stomping out the cherry just as the telephone begins to ring. Groaning, he rose to his feet, nearly tripping over the clothes on his floor as he stomps down the hall. 

“Yeah, what?” he answered unceremoniously, greeted by Jeff’s voice reminding Eddie to pick him up on his way to band practice at Gareth’s. 

“Yeah yeah, I’m on my way” Eddie hung up the phone, dramatically exhaling as he turned back to his room to grab his sweetheart, and his van keys off the counter before leaving the trailer. He glanced across the street as he descended the porch steps, hoping to catch another glimpse of the new neighbor only to be disappointed as the trailer door was closed, with no one outside. 

~

You sigh, dropping the last box of your belongings on your stripped bed, glancing around at your bare bedroom, deciding on where to start. You rummage through one of your boxes, finding your radio and setting it on your dresser. You press play on the cassette you’d titled Chill Mix #3, smiling as All Along the Watchtower by Jimi Hendrix began playing. You decide to start on the biggest feat, unpacking and putting away all your clothes. You let your mind focus on your task and the sound of the music as you move, singing along to each passing song. It was only a matter of time before thoughts and images of him slipped through the barrier, being back in the exact place that held so many memories of him and your friendship. It made your stomach turn and a lump form in your throat. You attempt to cough it away, forcing yourself to think of your other friends here in Hawkins you were excited to see again. The toothy, goofy smile of one of your youngster friends, Dustin Henderson popped into your head, effectively putting a smile on your face.

You’d known Dustin, Mike, Lucas, and Will for a couple years now. First meeting Will through his mother Joyce, who was good friends with your mom. It’d started sometime when you were in middle school, going over to Joyce’s to hang out with Jonathan and Will while your moms’ went out to shop and vent about their relationship issues. The other boys showing up a handful of those times turned into Dustin’s mom and Lucas’s parents asking you to babysit in the summer months, which often turned into babysitting all the boys at the same time.

The boys and Erica came to view you as an older sister figure, and them, your sometimes annoying but loveable younger siblings. The same quickly became true for the newer member of the party Max, over your visit to Hawkins this summer. Taking a liking to you as the ‘cool’ older girl the boys often spoke of and hung out with. Though you were flattered but dismissive of the ‘cool’ label, you learned quickly that like you, Max didn’t give a damn about societal ideals of ‘cool’ and what or who a young woman should be. They were freshman this year at Hawkins High, one of the few positives you looked forward to starting your senior year here.

As you move on to hanging up your posters and decorations, you think about your other, newer friends, Steve and Robin. To be fair, Robin wasn’t exactly a new friend, you’d met her in school when previously living in Hawkins, but were never more than casual, friendly acquaintances. Steve, on the other hand, you never expected to become friends with before this past summer. You’d visited Hawkins every summer since you’d moved back to Virginia; staying with your Aunt Patty, babysitting, spending time with the kids, your cousins and your Dad.

When you came to visit this summer in May, you’d picked up a job working at Scoops Ahoy with Robin and Steve. Your once casual friendship with Robin blossomed into a close one, both taking pleasure in teasing Steve day after day, watching him fail in his attempts to pick up girls after his break-up with Nancy and declining position in the social hierarchy of Hawkins. You were surprised to witness the change in Steve’s character from the Steve you knew of through middle and early high school, into someone actually likable. When Robin confessed her sexual identity to you two, it marked a milestone in you three’s friendship, along with the events of the mall fire that happened soon after. You three were nearly inseparable for the remainder of the summer after, until August rolled around and it was time for you to go back to Virginia. Robin was the first friend you called when you learned about your return back to Hawkins. Thrilled to go through her Senior year with you, considering Steve graduated this past May.

A few hours after you’d started and the sky now dark outside, you sigh loudly laying back on your bed as you finally finished putting away and organizing all your belongings. Looking around your room, you feel a wave of comfort hit you. Your room has always been your safe space, and it just feels… looks so right here in this room, compared to your room of the past 3 years in Virginia. Even with all the new decorations and posters you’d acquired since you last lived in this room years ago. You feel a sense of hope overtake your thoughts. Maybe this year things will finally work out and go right for you, feel right for you, for the first time in years. You let those thoughts linger as you walk out into the kitchen, deciding to make a sandwich for dinner. Feeling the exhaustion from the last week of moving weigh on your body, you kiss your mother goodnight, and take a relaxing shower before crawling into bed. You let the songs playing on the local ‘soft rock’ radio station lull you as exhaustion overtakes you. As you fall asleep, you cling onto that hopeful, comforting feeling before your first day back at Hawkins High tomorrow.

#eddie munson fic #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x plus size reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x plussize!reader #eddie munson x female reader #bestfriend!eddie munson

[yenalogyy]

Nakamura Kazuha | Been a while VI

The dim light from Y/N's apartment cast a soft glow as the two friends sat in silence, the clicks of the game controller providing a comforting back sound. The familiar chimes of the Kart game theme echoed through the room, a playful counterpoint to the unspoken tension.

“Ya! How dare you use the banana peel on me?!” He complained, having slipped down the ranks as Kazuha maneuvered into first place.

“Skill issue,” she replied, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

His laughter filled the room, temporarily dispelling the heaviness that hung in the air. As the last lap approached, a determined look crossed his face, revenge was on his mind.

Kazuha glanced at him, her eyes searching for something unsaid. The room seemed to shrink, suffocating both of them with the weight of unspoken words.

Unbeknownst to her, he would also steal glances at her, thinking of whether he should tell her of the lingering feelings in him.

The game finally came to an end, his stomach rumbling in protest. Breaking the silence, he suggested ordering comfort food from a local restaurant. After selecting their dishes, they went for one more round of the game.

The aroma of familiar dishes filled the apartment, but the air between them remained unchanged. Memories from their high school days resurfaced, and Kazuha decided to break the silence.

"Y/N, do you remember our last day of high school?"

He nodded, his eyes distant as he recalled that poignant day. "Yeah, we promised to stay in touch, but life happened, and we drifted apart."

She looked at him, a mixture of nostalgia and sadness in her eyes. "It's strange how life turns out. We used to be inseparable, and now we're here, facing the reality of our separate paths."

He sighed, setting down his chopsticks as he met her gaze, as if preparing to share something profound.

Her gaze intensified, searching for more in his words. "Y/N. These past few meetings, I-“

Just then, a ring echoed throughout the room, interrupting the moment. Y/N, looking relieved, got up and headed for the door.

In the silence that followed, Kazuha reflected, remembering Chaewon’s advice not to confess hastily.

As he answered the door, a mutual friend, Chaewon, appeared. “Hello, Zuha-ya~. Hope I’m not interrupting anything. I just got bored and decided that I’d drop him a visit.”

“Oh.” Kazuha giggled. “Looks like this isn’t your first time coming here.”

“I came a few times with Yunjin, of course. Anyways, you seem to be enjoying your meal. Can I play on your console instead?”

“Yeah, sure. You two can play after we’re done eating. I’m gonna take a quick shower once I finish my meal.” Both Kazuha and Y/N continued to eat, engaging in small talk with him before he left the two.

“Looks like I wasn’t too late, Zuha-ya.” Chaewon remarked, though she had arrived due to Kazuha's request. The fact that they were left alone, with feelings untold made Kazuha fear that her words might slip, hence Chaewon’s arrival.

“You were almost~ late. I was about to-“

“Wow. Really? Now I’m curious. Should I leave then?”

“No! Please, stay.” Kazuha hugged Chaewon’s arm, preventing her from leaving.

“Alright~. Anyways, you haven’t told him about ‘that,’ have you?” Kazuha shook her head, implying she hadn’t.

“I see. Just make sure that you convey it to him properly, okay?”

She nodded, and shifted their focus to the game playing in front of them.

#kpopfanfic #kpopimagines #malereader #oneshot #fluff #le sserafim #nakamura kazuha

[lesbianslvt666]

Sea Monster and Tressures

captain! Ellie x pirate! Reader

In which instead of finding your brother in a pirate crew, you end up fighting the Ellie Williams, the infamous pirate. however, fighting would not be the end goal, for Ellie longs for something deep, every time she sees you.

Content warning: swearing, smoking, mentions of drugs and alcohol, burglary, fights, swords, denigration, abandonment issues, a bit of gore, you aren't the good guy, neither is Ellie lol. Morally grey characters tbh.

The village you were in wasn’t much than a shaggy mess, with infants running wild alongside goats and small dogs, the people, mean eyed and guarded up. The rumours of pirates and thieves expanded alongside the shores hamlets, melting the people together in fear of being disposed of the little to no belongings they had. So you could imagine how they must feel, when a new woman in town appear out of nowhere, no men beside her, only one horse and a brass hip flask with leather cover. Your dishevel appearance did not much to help you. Your Whild locks leaps with every step and jump that Callous, your beautiful brown horse gives. You found him after a village was sweep by burglars, however, you knew she had something to do with it.

You have been following her every step, from coast to coast, in land or sea. she feels like a smoked dream, a foggy memory of the fantasy your soul desired.  At first it felt like admiration, the town you were born at knew her pretty well, so much so that your older brother got to talk to her, agreed upon being part of her navigation. He was your best friend, so, naturally, you thought, he would not leave you behind in the filth, down with the woman who took care of every parentless child. You were wrong…

For the longest time you thought he had abandon you, how dare him not take you alongside his adventure, an aspiration you so much longed for ever since a toddler. And then it got to you, the need of revenge, how fucking dare him leaving you behind, knowing fully well how capable you are, how much you hated were you lived, and how much you loved the sea. Finding him at first wasn’t easy. so you thought, he, a nobody, the leads came to abrupt ends very fast. So now, the target was her, however, you came to realize that maybe, she was always who you were hoping to find.

You knew as much of her as the stories could tell, have never even seen her face before, it was told that she was a natural beauty, auburn hair and freckles, green unwelcoming eyes that didn’t forget nor forgive. The more you heard about her, the more you wanted to be likewise, or alongside…

She wasn’t even much older than you, if the rumours were true, she could only be around three or so years older than you, then… how come a 23 year old achieve as much as she had…

Walking along the narrow streets with callous wasn’t the easiest task, the people selling stuff outside their doors, making the way even thinner, residing like the forgotten path of a river, the chatter could be hear from everywhere, the screams of the kids and the barks of the dogs, the smell of the sea intensified, you knew what was coming, you could feel it in your skin as the air got chiller, it was the first time in all your journey were you had arrive on time.

Agitating the reels of Callous, signalled him to move faster, this time not caring on portraying a low profile. the dangles in your hair clacking alongside with the jewellery that you had taken from your past visits, as to not forget, how many places you’ve been.

Callous was sprinting, moving alongside the shore the sand heavy behind you, leaving clouds large enough to find your whereabouts from miles away, you saw it. The sea monster, the grandiose nature couldn’t compare to anything you’ve seen before, the sea fog opened itself for it, in fear it might have repercussions itself. The plan? It was easy, find your brother, fight with him, and when he feels his defeat, you forgive his life, in exchange of course, to convince the E llie Williams, to join her crew…

Honestly, this is only like a synopsis, cause I would like to know if you want to read the full thing…

Interactions are incredibly appreciated

#ellie williams #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie x fem reader #the last of us #ellie williams headcanons #ellie williams x female reader #lesbian #ellie williams smut #ellie williams angst #ellie the last of us #pirate! au #pirate girl #fantasy #pirate ellie #pirate reader #sapphism #sapphic

[yanderes-galore]

Romantic Yandere Russell Adler (Cod: Cold War) who gets utterly obsessed with Enemy!Reader who refuses to reciprocate his feelings whenever they meet up at the enemy lines? Or when he decides to meticulously capture her himself and use MK-Ultra on her if Stockholm Syndrome doesn’t work?

He's an underrated character when it comes to fanfics here so I'd love to! First Cold War request so I'm hoping I got Adler/the plot right.

Potential Spoilers for Call of Duty: Cold War

Yandere! Russell Adler with Enemy! Darling

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Female Darling, Obsession, Brainwashing/Mind control, Forced relationship, Violence, Manipulation, Kidnapping, Darling is like Bell, Forced touching mentioned.

This feels an awful lot like a Bell situation....

Especially with the whole MK-Ultra thing you mentioned.

Adler is a morally gray character so he'd have no issues with brainwashing and placing false memories into your head.

Especially if he managed to fall or an enemy.

You were most likely in a similar situation as Bell.

You worked for Perseus and saw Adler as your enemy.

You and Adler have met on the battlefield many times before.

You're enemies... but Adler thought otherwise.

For some reason he fell for you.

Hard, too.

Adler tried to ignore such feelings at first.

He should capture you and interrogate you.

You're an enemy, that is all.

Yet he couldn't help but look into you.

You could be useful... if you just fought for the "right side".

He could care for you if you change sides now!

You never listen.

Your situation is a one-sided enemies to lovers trope.

All it takes is one accident to knock you away from Perseus.

Then... you're in his hands.

Very similar to Bell, they try normal interrogation first.

Adler's feelings intensify when he interrogates you.

You're at his mercy... now you have to listen to him.

Adler can't kill you, he doesn't want to.

If he really has formed feelings for you since the battlefield then he tries to avoid such an outcome.

Adler takes advantage of your restraints when interrogating you.

He traces his hands against you and really tries to push his feelings into view.

Essentially it's like he's using seduction to make you talk.

You can really tell how deranged you make him at this point.

He lightly touches your cheek and holds your hand despite the restraints.

He compliments you, he tells you his thoughts about you.

With how fast he's grown attached to you it comes off as jarring.

Once he realizes he isn't getting info or even reciprocation from you then he turns to other means.

MK-Ultra to be exact.

The idea of that is terrifying.

Adler could implant whatever information and memories he wants in that head of yours.

So, he thinks of something more domestic.

Something straight from his fantasies.

The fabricated life you're given is something along the lines of this;

You are the wife of Russell Adler.

You have been together for years.

You are working with the CIA to help track down Perseus as you and Adler met in the military before marrying.

It's something along the lines of that.

Adler would not mind brainwashing you to love him if you were an enemy.

This way you are no longer a threat and he gets to take care of you.

What a win, right?

Like he wanted, it works.

He plays his act well, too.

When you come off all the drugs, given only your first name, and given a command phrase... Adler is there.

He acts like a concerned husband when you awake and comforts your confusion.

Internally, he's smirking.

He's managed to reprogram you successfully.

It feels nice to have such a beautiful woman all to himself now, despite your past.

For the most part you believe him due to the implanted memories.

You cling to him, you tell him you love him.

You believe every word.

His first kiss with you is not the first to you according to your memories.

Adler indulges every moment with you.

Each kiss holds passion and yearning.

Each hug is tight around you as he buries his face into your neck.

You are his, he's done it!

In every way possible he's made you his.

He loves it when you look at him with adoration... even if it's fabricated.

This whole relationship you two share has been carefully created... it's artificial.

That's fine to Adler.

You'd never know the difference, now you'd always dedicate yourself to him and love him as he's always wanted...

If anyone tries to ruin this for him then Adler doesn't mind a bit more blood on his clothes... that's the job, isn't it?

#yandere call of duty #yandere cod cold war #yandere cod #yandere call of duty cold war #yandere russell adler

[uselessheretic]

the "stede played no role in ed's mental breakdown and ed would've ended up like that anyways" thought process is killing me because i really don't think it's true. yes, ed is a volatile shaken soda can of trauma waiting to burst, but he exists within the context of others as well. he was clearly already mentally ill and had serious issues, but the severity of his breakdown was intensified by outside forces with his relationship to stede.

ignoring the fact that stede left, by the time we get to their kiss ed is in an extremely raw and vulnerable place. he has unlocked multiple traumatic memories over the last few weeks, lost several of his closest friends, uprooted his entire life in a career change, for the first time ever truly and genuinely fell in love with someone, and laid himself bare, offering his love to someone he thought would take it.

if this was in modern times and ed lived in a utopian world of competent mental health services, he would likely have a care team right now giving extra support than usual because he is set to fucking blow at the smallest upset.

all of this may look like progress, but this is too much too fast placing him in a dangerous and precarious moment where any damage done has the potential to push him into probably the worst mental breakdown of his life.

and it's not stede's fault that ed has trauma, and it's not like stede could've known how bad it would get. stede isn't equipped to handle this either. he is also dealing with his own issues and him making a mistake was inevitable. he stumbled in a way that is completely understandable and it had consequences much larger than he could have ever anticipated.

stede still owes some level of responsibility to ed and his breakdown though. stede had offered himself as a place of solace, accepted ed's trauma, and made big life decisions with him surrounding this. even if ed didn't become violent as a result, stede's chronic need to run away from intimacy would've done immense damage to anyone in that situation. yes he had his reasons! it's not malicious, and neither was abandoning his wife and kids, but this is a pattern of behavior with stede reflective of his biggest character flaw. it's understandable, it's sympathetic, he had his reasons, but in the end he still hurt someone he cared immensely for who he knew was in a vulnerable position. even if he didn't know ed would turn into the kraken, he absolutely should have understood how badly this would sting.

the situation is complicated. there aren't any good guys here, there's just a lot of pain and disappointment. it needs to be resolved between them! ed has to take responsibility for his own actions—he hurt the crew, not stede!—but if stede wants to be in a relationship with ed, if he wants to love him and to be with him, he needs to take ownership of his part in this too.

#ofmd #ofmd meta #edward teach

[petitelepus]

Okey so I really wanted to be first 😈

First of all, WELCOME BACK HIHIHI 🤭💓

Hope you doing well!

I am most excited about "Loner's unexpected journey" 17 but anyways

I was thinking.. maybe like, swap au??

(I am starving for demon Sanemi-)

But yeah, maybe like.. demon Sanemi and reader on her period LOL

Or if you're not comfortable with that, maybe some fluff with Sanemi (like, headcannons maybe) (or if you find the idea interesting you may do that for more characters you'd like!) Like, uhmmm, reaction to reader slipping on the snow in the winter and embarrasing herself

(bonus points if reader has skirt on 😈 HAHAHA)

Anyways why is my ask so random like wth 😭😭

But overall, don't feel pressured to write anything, take your sweet time~! 💓💓

AAAH, THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH! I'm happy to be back and I hope I can make you guys happy!

WARNING: Oral Sex, SMUT, Period Sex, Period Oral, Female Reader, Demon Sanemi, Blood Drinking

Sanemi was a ruthless demon. Ruthless but still smart and stubborn as Hell. He was one of the nine strongest demons there ever existed and he had to act like one and listen to his Lord's orders. The white-haired demon didn't have many if any memories from his past as a human but he did keep one thing with him from his time before turning into a demon.

You.

You may have been lovers in one of your earlier lives, and Sanemi never forgot your face, or voice, no matter how many times you were reborn. He told you every time and in every life how the two of you used to be a couple, but he would do this only when you turned ripe for him to snatch.

You always reacted in different ways to him when he would kidnap you from your current life and take you to himself. In one life you fought against him and that had proven to be a short life for you. After that life, Sanemi had sworn to keep you alive and make you fall for him again and again.

This was one of those happy lives where you accepted him as he was, a man-eating demon with some temperament issues.

Sanemi had been out hunting for a couple of days and had left you alone in your little home in the middle of the forest where no one could find you and try to "save" you from the demon.

He was returning home, but he froze as soon as he stepped into the small garden that you diligently kept in good shape.

With his heightened demon senses, he could smell it, he could smell the blood in the air. It was extremely faint, but it was there.

Sanemi called your name as he rushed inside and you peeked your head from one room as you heard him come back home.

"Oh, you're back early!" You called as you put the basket full of clean laundry down, "How was-!"

"Are you hurt?!" He asked, making you flinch because of how loud he was, "Eh?"

"I can smell it…! I can smell the blood…!"

You blinked in confusion until you realized what he meant and you blushed as you closed your legs under your kimono.

"It's… It's my time of the month…" You admitted in embarrassment as you averted your gaze from your partner. Sanemi blinked. Despite being a demon even he forgot things as simple as periods.

Any wise man with some decency would have let the talk go and given you some time and privacy… But Sanemi wasn't a decent man but a ruthless demon.

He had just recently eaten a foolish Demon Slayer who thought that they could take him out on their own, but the scent of blood, your blood made him hungrier than he had ever felt before.

Sanemi moved quickly, grabbing you and carrying you to your shared bedroom where he lowered you on your bedding.

"Sanemi, what has gotten into you!?" You shouted, but your demon lover just growled like a wild animal.

"Shut the fuck up!" He snapped as he spread your legs open, the smell of blood intensifying. The strong demon smirked as he licked his lips, "Shit, you smell absolutely divine…!"

"Sanemi, I'm on my period, you can't go down on me!"

"Wanna bet?" He asked, and you realized that he was completely serious about what was to happen if you didn't turn him down.

…But did you really want to do that? You didn't know which one of you was worse, him for wanting to eat you out while you were on your period or you for getting excited by the idea?

"F- Fine, but only this one time!" You yielded and your partner smirked harder as he reached over and removed your linen cloth-covered underwear. He couldn't help but admire the dark red spot in your underwear before he threw them over his shoulder and pushed your kimono up until your bare sex was before his face.

The smell of blood was even stronger and he couldn't hold himself back any longer, no, he grabbed your hips, nails digging into your soft skin as he went down and gave your bloody sex a long hard lick.

"Sanemi…!" You whimpered, feeling extra sensitive due to your period and your meek little voice went straight to his head and pants.

The demon didn't hesitate as he buried his face against your sex, eating you out like you were one of his victims, but minding his teeth also. The last thing he wanted to do was to actually hurt you.

He had to try and remember that you were a meek little human and humans didn't heal like demons did. You wouldn't be able to grow a limb back like he could and you would get scars unlike him. All the scars you could see on him, he got them all as a human before he turned into a demon.

"Ah!" You gasped as his nose prodded your clit as he sucked your juices and blood. Sanemi moaned against you, taking his hand and inserting two of his fingers into your tight bloody sex and twisting them-!

"Sanemi!" You cried out as your hips bucked towards his face without your permission. You were so close, he could tell, the demon could read you like an open book and you were by far his favorite one.

"That's it…!" He growled as he kept twisting those fingers of his inside you, "Cum, cum on my mouth…!"

"I- I-!" The words got caught in your throat as the coil in your tummy snapped and pleasure washed through you. You were crying, you were that sensitive, but Sanemi didn't seem like he would stop eating you out anytime soon. No, you were sure he wouldn't stop eating you out unless you did something to it.

"Sanemi, please, no more!" You cried out as your hand went down and you twisted your fingers into his white hair, "Please!"

Oh how he loved to hear you beg, no matter what. Finally, the cruel demon decided to give you mercy and with one last lick, he pulled away. You blushed in shame at the bloody sight on his face, but he just licked his lips like he had a delicious meal just now.

"Which day are you on?" He asked suddenly, much to your confusion, "Huh?"

"How long you've had your periods now?" He clarified and you hummed as you tried to remember when they started, "Oh, uh, couple days now. Why?"

"Good. That means that I still have at least 3 days time to eat you out as I please."

You blinked, "You're kidding."

Sanemi smirked, "Do I look like I'm kidding?"

Oh fuck, he was serious.

#1julak1 #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #swap AU #sanemi shinazugawa #demon sanemi #demon #hashira #He is demon in this one #SMUT #NAUGHTY #periods #period SMUT #ENJOY! #I AM BACK GUYS #my writing #writing #my story #story #reader #reader insert #fem reader

[laurfilijames]

Fallout

Part 4

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Pairing: Jay Mills x female reader

Words: 7.6k

Warnings: Rated E, 18+ ONLY. Swearing. Anger issues. Nudity. Masturbation (male). Dry(?) humping. Dom/sub dynamics. Unprotected intercourse. Anal play. Anal sex. Spit as lube. Degradation. Watersports/golden shower.

Summary: Jay continues to battle his feelings as your stay drags out, doing everything in his power to prove to you and himself that there is nothing between you, only to have his methods intensify everything.

A/N: Right. This one is full of delicious filth and I'm taking advantage of the fact that this story doesn't get many eyes to write some fairly kinky stuff, but it also includes a lot of development between the two of them so I think it's a well-balanced chapter! I really had a great time writing this part and continue to be so excited and in love with this story, so please enjoy and let me know what you think!

There is also no moodboard for this chapter because all it consists of is smut so...yeah. But there's a treat below the cut 😉

---

Adrenaline pulsed through Jay's veins furiously, similar to how it did when he was about to step into the ring, and in the short distance it took to get to his room that felt like an eternity, a play-by-play of what you two had just done in the kitchen flashed through his mind; the vivid imagery causing his hands to shake and the sweat he had worked up to drip down his back. He knew calm wouldn't come easily to him after that, and after slamming the door behind him, he leaned against it and breathed out as slow an exhale as he could and ran his good hand over his hair, half of him tempted to go do it all again while the other half urged him to try to sleep.

He was exhausted - both mentally and physically - and with the morning quickly approaching and his mind and body buzzing, he knew it would be impossible to let any of it go enough for him to fall asleep. He was an early-riser anyway, used to waking up before the sun to go for his five mile run before he trained, and even in the absence of any legitimate daylight due to the storm, his body was so regimented that it couldn't be tricked into believing otherwise.

With a sigh, Jay sat on the edge of his bed and looked out the window, seeing the snow continue to accumulate heavily, letting him know he wouldn't be getting you out of here any time soon. He swung his legs onto the mattress and laid down, staring up at the ceiling before closing his eyes, only to open them again after a minute and sit back up, his restlessness increasing with each passing second.

Getting down on the floor, Jay supported himself on his toes and right hand with his injured one secured behind his lower back and began repetition after repetition of push-ups in a desperation to move his body enough to quiet his mind. He should've known better than to think it would work, only imagining your body wedged between his and the carpet as he continued to lower himself down and back up again, and he finally stopped when his right arm gave out and forced him to sit back on his knees with a frustrated growl.

"Fuck!"

He wiped the beads of sweat that hung on his nose and chin with his hand, able to smell your scent clinging to his skin as he did which only made him feel more unhinged and anxious to have more of you.

Bringing himself quickly to his feet, he shoved his right hand down his pants to roughly adjust himself in hopes his rejuvenated erection would go away, but even the brief contact of his own hand on it brought back the memory of your touch, and he knew it wouldn't go left ignored.

With another curse under his breath, he tore his track pants down to his knees and took hold of his hard cock as he stepped out of the legs that were pooled around his ankles, gripping himself hard enough to begin to satisfy some of his needs.

Remnants of you remained on his shaft and in his pubes, the sight of it making him throb even more and forcing him to work harder, his teeth clenching together furiously as he gave in to every thought of you. He hated how much he wanted you, how much you had gotten under his skin and broke him down enough to succumb to what he had tried to prevent and knew he would go after again, and the way you seemed to enjoy his vile treatment of you wasn't helping either.

Remembering the looks that crossed your face and the way your lips curled into a smile when he called you names and held your throat had him reeling all over again, and he wondered if you were thinking about him again, too.

Accepting that he was far past the point of stopping what he had started and without wasting time in fussing over the best way to get the job done, Jay brought his palm up to his mouth and spit into it twice, providing enough lubrication to do what he needed to.

He felt desperate, needing to relieve this want that seemed to keep growing, hoping that as he emptied his load he would also be getting rid of these unnecessary feelings toward you along with it. He massaged his wet palm over his head and down his shaft, coating himself thoroughly, praying that the next person's spit all over him would be yours. The thought of kissing your parted lips that spilled moans of pleasure provided by him was getting him close, and now the imagery of them sealed in an 'o' around his cock had him bucking into his hand wildly, his thumb rubbing over his leaking head just like yours had not long ago.

His hand moved faster as his thoughts continued to encourage him, the sound of his name falling off your tongue something he knew he wanted to hear again, the feel of your body accepting his so well something he wanted to push the limits on; the possibility of fucking you slowly and lovingly a prohibited act he had instated himself that he so badly wanted to break the rules of.

He opened his hand and spit into it again, needing a little more lubrication to keep up with his movements, and tucking his bottom lip between his teeth to stifle his groans, he jerked himself with a steady force, imagining your hot mouth wrapped around his dick, bobbing up and down on his length and looking up at him innocently as you gagged on him.

Having already seen you enjoy his taste from the sample he had given you made him want to make you swallow all of it, pumping his cum down your throat regardless if you could manage it all, the vision of you taking every last drop of him as he spurted into your mouth with drool leaking from your lips and tears running down your cheeks sending him over the edge, a slew of broken curses tearing past his gritted teeth as he finished in his hand.

You would be fooling yourself if you thought sleep was likely to grace you now after all that had happened, every fibre of you super-charged and making you feel as if you had just run a marathon, the effects of Jay and his wonderfully brutal treatment of you lingering on your skin like electricity.

Needing to busy yourself to distract from all the persistent thoughts running through your mind, you rummaged through the cupboards and fridge to scrounge up what could be made into a half-decent breakfast, settling on made-from-scratch blueberry pancakes and bacon.

It was difficult to tell if you were even hungry, the feeling in your stomach one that mimicked it, but you knew was likely caused by an enduring sort of anxiousness and a very different type of hunger, and your lack of sleep made you want to sate it even more. Assuming Jay would be hungry when he reappeared from sleeping or whatever else he was doing in his room, you kept on with your task, idly flipping each pancake in the frying pan like you were on autopilot.

Without even having to look, you knew Jay had entered the kitchen, your body responding to his presence with the hair on the back of your neck standing on end and an ache increasing between your legs, and you glimpsed over your shoulder at him, a smile tugging at your lips.

He walked up behind you, making a point to cage your body in as he reached around you for a piece of bacon, his eye contact holding you in place while holding evidence of so much going through his mind. He was still half-naked, his track pants hanging loosely on his hips as he walked over to the island, showcasing his body that was sculpted like a work of art. Having to tear your eyes away from his torso, you swallowed thickly and tried to set your focus back on making breakfast, smiling to yourself that you weren't one to judge given you were still only clad in his hoodie, shimmying your bare legs together to provide enough friction between them to remind you of the slight soreness caused by him earlier.

The day crept on into the afternoon without missing a beat in the slightly awkward tension that hung in the air between you, both of you remaining quiet until you couldn't stand the silence anymore.

"This storm isn't letting up, is it?" It was less a question, and more an ice-breaker, hoping to gain some conversation if only on account of the weather, but all you got in response was a raise of his eyebrows and a slow nod, and you bit the nail on your thumb out of frustration and unease. His standoffish approach toward you had you wondering if he actually held ill-will for you or if it was a game to work you up, like the more he kept you at an arms-length, the more you wanted to throw yourself at him, and he fucking knew it.

You raked your fingers along your scalp, feeling ready to tear the strands out of your head, and being more than exhausted with the situation and simply beyond tired, you stood and paced the room before heading into the kitchen.

It didn't feel like you - opening cupboards and shutting them with more force than you ever would normally - your impatience getting the better of you, your ironic and frantic search for the box of tea bags you had seen earlier that you needed to drink to help calm you sending you into a craze.

"What the fuck are you looking for?"

His voice barely registered through the ringing in your ears, and it wasn't until he was behind you repeating himself in a louder, more demanding tone that you turned to face him.

You went to move past him, wanting to open the cupboard door behind him in the last effort of your search, only to have your wrist grabbed to stop you before you even had the chance to reach for the handle.

"Stop," he ordered, calmly, the switch in demeanor between you fuelling your anger more.

You tried to tear your wrist from him, realizing it was his bad hand that was gripping you, making you stop your resistance before you caused anymore damage to him.

"What the fuck is your problem?" he asked, his brows knitting together as he searched your face with more concern than you expected.

"You're my fucking problem," you hissed, shoving his bare chest with your hand after he released it, watching how the shape of it reddened his pale chest ever so slightly. The way he made you feel was infuriating, and when he dared to smirk at your reasoning behind your behaviour, it only fueled it.

You heard him chuckle slightly as you finally made your way around him, focused on your goal of locating the tea, your heart hammering in your chest when he muttered, "You're unbelievable."

"I am?" you spat, finding a bravery you didn't know you had. "You're the one who's unbelievable, acting like a broody asshole who refuses help because he's been burned by shitty people."

Jay closed the distance between you, his plump lips turning into a snarl, and you held your breath in your lungs as you waited for his reaction.

"You've got me all figured out, eh?" He shifted on his feet, hovering over you enough to make you cast your eyes downward, only to land on the prominent bulge in his sweatpants. "Little miss nurse coming in to fix me, to play therapist as well as the healer," he held your chin in his fingers using his injured hand, and the smell of the ointment you had applied earlier was like a slap in the face.

He leaned closer to you, his breath hot on your cheek, "Don't fucking forget why you're here, or the reason you're still here, because you would've been gone a long time ago."

Releasing your face, he rubbed his good hand over his hair back and forth roughly, trying to regain composure after he let his own anger build, and with a long inhale that made his chest rise fully, he stared at you with a look that made your knees go weak.

Holding his eye contact for a moment, you swallowed and blinked, turning away from the game-like challenge you silently agreed to play with him and returned to your mission of making tea, your hand shaking as you reached for the box and pulled it off the shelf, praying he wasn't watching you closely enough to notice.

Pouring boiling water into the teapot, your mind filed through all the different emotions Jay had made you feel in the short span of knowing him, and as you watched the clear water turn muddy as the teabags became saturated in it, you thought how he did the exact same to your mind. No one had ever had such an affect on you, making you want to act on such primal needs, your composure and usual well-thought out way of going about things destroyed with something as simple as a look. Having been given a taste of him made you crave more, and you felt crazed in chasing the high of seeing what else you could get, and in turn you wanted to give him everything.

The hours ticked on into the night, the storm having settled enough that only a few flakes were falling from the sky at a time, but so much had accumulated that you knew the roads wouldn't be cleared for days still. A silence that was loaded with lingering looks continued on as the normal atmosphere, growing your frustration as well as Jay's.

You had fixed dinner while he showered, and as you sat eating, you silently assessed the condition of his wound as he rested his hand on the table beside his plate.

"How's it feeling?" you asked quietly.

Following your gaze, he turned his hand over and sighed, "Okay, I guess."

Placing your fork down on your plate, you stood and took a step over to where he sat on his stool, sliding his plate out of the way in order to bring his left hand close to you.

You found it funny how he never watched whatever you did to his hand, his eyes only ever glued to your face or somewhere on your body, making you swell with a poised confidence, his silent attention and appreciation of your beauty somehow louder than words.

Daring to push the boundaries, you slowly moved your right leg so it straddled his, holding your breath as you watched him do the same before his broad chest finally let it go and his throat moved as he swallowed thickly.

"What are you doing?" he asked, his tone somewhat unimpressed to match his expression, his eyebrows raising on his forehead.

"Dressing your hand…" you spoke as innocently as possible, leaning over to grab the disinfectant solution and tube of ointment sitting on the opposite side of the island.

He shook his head but didn't pull his hand away from you, sighing as you began carefully cleaning his slowly healing injury.

"It's looking a bit better," you whispered, scarcely focusing on your task and not how close your bare sex was to touching his thigh.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

You looked up at him through your lashes, seeing a mix of smugness and unbearable lust on his face, and you wondered if whatever he was thinking was what you were too. It felt like he was almost daring you to act on the intense hunger he brought out in you, watching you with a cockiness you knew was partially a disguise in the name of self-preservation, and even if it resulted in something loveless and brutal like earlier, you wanted to find out.

As if it was the most natural thing to do, you sat yourself onto his thigh and continued to work, doing your best to ignore the hiss and heavy exhale that escaped his lips, feeling the muscles of his leg tense and flex against you.

Closing your eyes briefly, you adjusted yourself enough to make friction, moaning quietly at the contact before forcing your fingers to move again.

After a few seconds, Jay glided his free hand up your naked thigh, reaching underneath his hoodie to hold onto your hip and press you down on him even more.

You let your fingers linger on his hand even though you had finished applying the ointment, your eyelids falling closed as you allowed him to move your body in back in forth motions, controlling the pace and pressure, relishing in the sound of his breathing and how it felt to be grinding on him like this.

"That feels good, doesn't it?" he muttered, his voice so deep it made his words almost sound like a growl.

You nodded and breathed a 'yes', continuing to rock yourself on his thigh, knowing you were smearing your slick and staining his gray pants with it but not caring.

"That's because you're nothing but a whore," he said slowly, like he enjoyed saying every word.

Basking in his degradation, you arched forward, angling yourself so your clit received more stimulation, and boldly, you trailed your hand up his arm, dancing your fingertips over his Mohawk tattoo and then onto his chest, feeling his pec tremor to your touch.

"You're looking to get fucked again, aren't you?"

A shiver ran down your spine in the hopes he would take you roughly and with heartless care again, and you pulled your lip between your teeth to stop your smile from spreading as you humped his leg with more enthusiasm.

"I asked you a fucking question," he spat, ceasing your movements with his hand while his bad one reached up to grip your chin.

You let your smile creep across your face when you opened your eyes to look at him, seeing a liveliness in his blue ones as he stared at you vehemently. They dropped down to your lips, and like he was in a brief trance of feeling something softer and more caring toward you, his thumb grazed over your bottom one, smoothing across and pulling on it enough to part it.

"What was it you said about it only happening once, Jay?" you asked, the humour clear in your voice that you knew would snap him out of whatever he was experiencing.

His face contorted, making your stomach flip with nerves, the lines around his eyes deepening while the ones around his mouth set taught as he clenched his teeth together hard.

"Shut the fuck up!" he barked. You jumped slightly even though you had been expecting that reaction, and you bit your lip again to disguise another smile rather than recoiling, shifting on his leg slightly to show him you liked everything he was doing.

In an attempt to bottle his growing rage, Jay stood abruptly, pushing you off of him carelessly, and paced the space between the kitchen island where you stood watching him and the sofa.

He was hard as a rock, his erection furiously straining against his track pants, the sight of him in such a state making your mouth water and causing even more arousal to rush between your legs.

"You're allowed to just fuck me, Jay," you began, your voice shaking slightly from the overwhelming lust and excitement coursing through you. "I'm not going anywhere any time soon and-"

He cut you off by stepping toward you, bracing his arms on either side of you to pin you against the countertop as you leaned back against it. The automatic act of breathing stopped altogether for you as he hovered in front of your face, his eyes searching all over your features for a decision as to what his next move was going to be, and for a second you could have sworn he was going to kiss you.

You knew he wouldn't though, so instead you ployed in order to get some of what you wanted, even if it couldn't be his lips on yours.

“Do what you want with me, Jay,” you whispered, your voice so heavy with lust that the sound of it instantly increased your arousal. It was bold to even continue saying his name, testing your luck and seeing how many times he would let you get away with it after his initial warning, your defiance making you feel powerful.

“Get this fucking thing off,” he ordered, grabbing at the edge of his hoodie that covered your upper half. Eagerly, you assisted him, whisking it over your head until you stood exposed before him, waiting for him to do as he pleased.

The emotion brewing in his eyes told you he wanted to kiss every single inch of you, that he wanted to taste and learn each part of you until he made you sing from every kind of pleasure he could provide, but you watched as he buried that once again and replaced it with a beautiful sort of rage you continued to seek.

Pressing his hand to your lower back, he pushed you forward in the direction of the sofa, his forceful guidance making your breathing quicken.

Your palms met the back of the couch harder than you thought, the power he had over you so definite and indisputable that you let out an involuntary gasp as you gripped the edge of the supple leather.

You glanced behind you to see Jay peeling his pants down his legs, his hard cock springing free, his jaw set tight as he stared you down while his intense breathing wracked through his chest in sharp waves.

Hinging at your hips and spreading your legs invitingly, you felt your slick string across where your slit parted, and you hoped Jay could see it glistening in the glowing light of the room.

"Fuck…" he muttered to himself, clearly noticing how ready you were for him, his subtle praising making you swell with satisfaction.

Jay lined up behind you, his groin resting flush to your ass, and you watched as he took hold of his cock and guided it inside you, his face contorting with pleasure that he kept trying to hate.

You wanted to watch him fuck you, but the sensation of having him seated deeply inside you already had your eyelids fluttering shut, and when he dragged himself back out and pushed inside you fully again, you faced forward as his first couple of blows made you hit the back of the couch.

"Oh my god!" you cried, trying your best to stick your ass out more to meet his hips each time they plowed forward, the simple task proving difficult as your body simply wanted to be still and obediently accept everything he gave you.

It was all too much, every brutal thrust tipping you closer to the edge, the head of his cock slamming perfectly into that sweet spot that made broken whines and incoherent accolades strung together with curses fall from your mouth.

Jay tried so hard to focus on carelessly fucking you, hoping that if he managed to wreck you one more time, it would maybe satisfy you enough until you could leave, but the more he drove his cock in and out of you and watched your creamy slick spill out and coat it, the more he knew he wouldn't have had enough either.

It took everything in him not to smooth his hands over the gentle curves of your hips and up the dip of your back, choosing to grip tighter on your ass and spread your cheeks apart roughly instead, his eyes closing so he wouldn't be tempted to slow his pace and prolong this selfish indulgence.

He should've known better than for that to work, your sultry voice repeating his name as he built you up to near your climax forcing his eyes open again to torture him with the sight of your beautiful body rocking in front of him, and he clenched his teeth together tightly in order to not lean down and press his lips on your back and neck.

"Jay…" you mewled, "I'm so close."

Nearly losing it there over the way you looked over your shoulder at him, he proceeded to hammer into you, feeling you tighten around his girth, your eyes clouded with lust that made you look even more beautiful and innocent as you took him so well.

Determined to ruin you, he kept up his tempo, administering back blows so hard the couch began to move despite usually being secure on the plush carpet beneath it, and he became even more mesmerized by you.

Your eyes closed, gently squeezing so the corners of them wrinkled, your mouth parted and smearing across the leather in a swaying motion due to his thrusts, your body taking his harsh movements and converting them to ones that were flowing, calm and languid, and his heart clenched in his chest as the sound of you whimpering and pleading for him to give you more echoed in his ears.

"You better...fucking come…you fucking slut!" he growled, his false impatience covering up his pure enjoyment as he became desperate to feel you fall apart around him.

His cruel words encouraged you and made you flourish, and when he saw you let your arm fall between your legs to rub your clit, Jay spit onto your ass and spread it around your puckered hole with his thumb, lubricating it enough to press it inside right as you let go.

Your whole body tensed and shuddered, pausing your own movements as you let his carry you through such a blinding high, soaking him and squeezing him and nearly making him come undone at the same time.

As soon as your loud cries had quieted, he pulled out of you and pressed the tip of his cock into your ass, only achieving a couple of inches before he exploded, and removing himself from you again, he watched his hot, milky spend leak out of you while the rest shot out onto your cheeks and wet cunt.

Jay's breaths wracked his entire body, working hard to calm himself from the fury of emotions that battled in him, feeling a cold trail of sweat run down his back while he admired your dewy skin and how good it looked being covered in his cum again.

Your head hung between your arms that still held onto the back of the couch, your forehead leaning against it, until eventually you stood upright, turning to look at him while you took a deep breath and tried to get a read on him.

He wasn't giving anything up, though, having given away too much already, and he turned and stepped away, bracing his arms against the island with his jaw set tensely again.

Not entirely sure what to do or say now, you at least knew you needed to shower, and slowly, keeping your eyes on him until you no longer could, you tread on light feet to the bathroom.

You could feel his stare as soon as you had stopped looking at him, and pausing a moment in the doorway, you glanced behind you to meet his gaze before walking inside and flicking on the light, leaving the door open in what you prayed he knew was an invitation.

You turned on the taps and adjusted them before leaving the water to heat up, checking out the mess Jay had made of you in the mirror as you waited, the evidence left behind making the after effects of it all seem blissfully more intense.

Testing the water with your hand, you stepped in under the stream, holding your breath as you let it rain down on your face for as long as you could before exhaling slowly.

It was only a couple of minutes before Jay joined you, his large frame making the already cramped shower feel even smaller, and wanting him to be near you as much as he could be, you stayed close to the stream so he would need to stand up against you to get under it.

He said nothing, just stared at you as he dipped his head beneath the falling water to soak his hair, his eyes closing and letting you admire how much longer his eyelashes seemed when they were wet as they laid against his cheeks.

It seemed so normal, showering together, both of you lathering and rinsing shampoo out of your hair in turn, enjoying the comfortable silence and how relaxing it was.

You had finished washing the soap off of you but lingered as long as you could, not wanting to end this subtly intimate moment with Jay while accidentally brushing up against him whenever you moved, your slippery skin grazing and gliding along his implicitly.

Jay could feel it building up again inside of him, the strong desire to feel himself encased by you becoming terrifyingly undeniable, and the way you kept dangling yourself in front of him like bait was testing him like few things had before. As much as he tried, he couldn't stop himself from letting his hands skim your body with any opportunity that presented itself, the warmth and softness of this whole act contrasting heavily with the silent rage growing within him.

It made him angry to see himself slipping away so easily, like his heart didn't care to let itself fall into your hands without fear, his body acting on its own to get as much of you as it could whether or not his mind agreed. He knew he was being an asshole, but in feeling it was his last defense in protecting himself from getting hurt, he pressed on with it.

You were about to step out, your body scrubbed clean of him, but he grabbed your arm to stop you, pulling you in so you stood with your back against the wall.

"Come back here," he demanded gently, his tone disguising the more intense emotions brewing beneath the surface.

The amusement he felt at seeing the confused look on your face briefly took over everything else he was feeling, and before he let any affection he held toward you stop him, he braced his arms on either side of your face and moved his close enough he could have kissed you.

He watched as your eyes flickered from his eyes down to his lips and you held the breath you had sucked in, waiting, only he wasn't going to give you what you wanted no matter how heavenly you looked.

Jay smirked and chuckled darkly, his next move one he had decided on from the moment he saw you rinsing any remaining evidence of him down the drain, and a fresh wave of needing to keep and claim you stirred in him at the thought of it.

It felt cruel and animalistic, but the desire to have you as his was too overwhelming to deny, and still on the path of repressing all the tender ways he thought about you, he carried out his barbaric display of affection.

Closing his eyes briefly, he sighed as he began to release, pissing freely on you, opening them again to see his stream coat your legs and waist in a defiling and reckless act of devotion.

Watching it was almost half as satisfying as watching the expression on your face change, your naivety in thinking he was going to be caring twisting into shock as you registered that something warmer than the water started to trickle down your body and onto your feet.

He moaned and exhaled while your mouth hung open and you glanced down to confirm what was clear you couldn't believe was happening actually was, and although you seemed disgusted and angry, pushing on his chest to move him away from you, Jay could see a glimmer in your eyes that told him you were turned on by it.

Not budging from your poor attempt at making him, Jay watched as you accepted what had happened, remaining in place and not trying to get away from him again, your chest heaving as you let out a deep breath.

Feeling high off the adrenaline this sparked in him, he smirked at you and then spit at your feet before backing away enough to admire how your body responded by your nipples hardening and your breathing quickening, your pulse noticeably thrumming in the side of your neck.

“What are you doing, marking your territory?” you asked in a challenging tone, although your voice shook slightly.

"It's what you deserve…stupid bitch that you are."

You swallowed thickly, goosebumps erupting on your wet, pissed-on skin, his foul and shaming words making your pussy clench and ache for him again.

Somehow in your shock and stupor, you found your voice, "Do you really think that about me? Or are you just-"

"Don't fucking tell me what I think!" he roared, the noise echoing off the shower walls.

You shimmied your legs slightly, your body instinctively reacting to his harshness by pushing your arousal to the forefront, and you swallowed the lump in your throat while you blinked, the eye contact he was holding making you want to falter.

You cursed all the ways your body gave you away, letting him know that everything he was doing was making you fall deeper into something he refused to give you, his next words a spiteful way to keep you holding on by a thread.

"And don't pretend like you don't love being treated like a fucking whore."

Closing your eyes slowly, you basked in his false hate, melting to the way this degradation added to the control he was claiming over you.

It was hard to recognize yourself with how submissive you found you wanted to be, the desire to obey him until he revealed the loving side you knew was there making you willing to take anything from him, but mustering clarity to briefly ignore the drug-like effect he had on you, you took a deep breath and spoke with as much surety as possible.

"And what if I do? Would you do the opposite and show me some kind of care and affection? Kiss me, even?"

He scowled. "Don't play games."

"I’m not."

You looked at him as honestly as you could, hoping your sincerity would shine through and he would believe that as much as you were admittingly throwing yourself at him, you wouldn't toy with his heart or burn him like he had been before.

His cheeks flinched as he clenched his teeth together tightly, clearly trying to figure out how he felt, but he remained in place and even returned his hands to rest on the shower tiles on either side of you, leaning slightly closer.

You could feel your chest tighten and your heart skip a beat when he rested his forehead against yours, your eyes closing when you felt his fingertips trail down your arm slowly until he reached your hand, lacing them together.

"I'll be yours, Jay," you whispered, giving him the confirmation needed to relax and trust, his breath fanning over your lips as he sighed out.

His forehead rubbed against yours as he shook his head slightly while he breathed deeply again, a low grumble resounding through him as he started to grind his hips against yours, his hand squeezing yours tightly in the grip of his fingers.

You moaned whenever the head of his cock nudged your over-sensitive clit, your body jolting in response but welcoming it all the same, adjusting your legs so he rested in your folds where you slid along his length in a languid tempo.

His nose grazed over the tip of yours and over to your cheek, the contact feeling as meaningful as a kiss would, sharing the same breath as you slowly began to work each other up.

While still holding your hand, Jay took his injured one and slid it under your thigh, lifting your leg to hook it around his waist, giving him access to probe inside you just enough to tease you.

Your available hand smoothed up his back, feeling his muscles contract with each movement, your nails digging into the thick flesh on his shoulders each time he threatened to enter you fully.

Peeling his face away from yours, he held you in place with a sobering gaze, his eye contact weighted with so much emotion, and slowly drove inside you inch by inch.

Resting his nose on your cheek, he began to thrust, his pace purposeful and sensual, each drag out and back in carefully calculated to slowly pick you apart.

As good as it felt, you still cursed him for torturing you, his mouth continuously hovering close to yours but never landing on you, making you pray to a god you didn't believe in that he finally would. You held your breath any time his lips ghosted over your skin, his nose grazing on your cheek and neck like he was hovering over all the places he wanted to impress his kiss on, close enough you swear you could feel it.

Slow, rolling motions continued to carry you through to your nearing high, building you up gradually and seemingly lovingly, his intensity equalling that of the other times he had fucked you, only this time more fervid and compassionate.

Water ran off his full lips and onto yours as his mouth hung open in front of you, his breaths growing more laboured as he expelled his energy into the arduous pace, knowing that fighting the temptation to kiss you was adding to his efforts.

Your offer to be his repeated in his mind the whole time, seeming to ground him rather than make him run from it, and he fucked you like you already were, every caress on your body and drag inside your tight walls another claim over you.

The way your fingers ran along the nape of his neck and raked up through his hair had him basking in your silent praise, feeling you clench and squeeze him with every deep push in an act of worship and appreciation of him.

He built you up slowly, bringing you to the brink and letting you linger there, coaxing you closer to the edge but only giving you enough to make you seek your release by moving with him harder.

"Jay, please…" you whined, gripping onto him in a plea for mercy, your head falling back to be supported by the wall, allowing him a view of your face as pleasure took over your features.

He intensified his thrusts, plowing into you even slower, but with more force, feeling you tense as your orgasm began to tear through you, and he angled himself so the coarse hairs on his groin rubbed against your clit to help prolong it.

He would've come with you if he wasn't so enthralled in watching you, constantly amazed by how stunning you were when being torn apart by him, the way your entire body responded to him making him quickly become addicted to it.

Releasing your hand, he brought his up to your face, his thumb gently smoothing over your bottom lip as he began to lean in toward you while continuing the slow grinding of his hips on yours, the pull he felt to kiss you becoming too much to deny any longer.

As if the universe was torturing him, the water began to feel cold, the hot water having run out in the extended amount of time you had been in there, waking him up slightly from the haze he seemed to be under.

You fluttered around him, the aftershocks of your climax rippling out in waves, prompting him to increase his pace to a far more aggressive one, the escalation of your cries spurring him on.

"You…are…fucking…mine!" he hissed through gritted teeth, the sound of your wet bodies slapping together mixing in with his panting breaths and your desperate whimpering.

He rammed into you furiously, and you held onto him frantically as you let him use you to finish, his usual unpredictable actions leaving you unsure how he was planning to, every nerve in you feeling alive and electrified from his possessive words.

His mouth fell against your shoulder, his spit smearing on your skin as he pounded you relentlessly, and feeling him surge inside of you as he began to cum, another orgasm of your own ripped through you violently.

Before you even had the chance to come down from your high, Jay was pulling out of you, the sensation of him slipping from your tingling walls with his thick, hot cum spilling from you making you whine, the unsurprising act of him abandoning you stinging more than it previously had.

Without looking at you, he ran his hand over his face and exited the shower, letting the door slam shut behind him to make you jump, leaving you standing wet and cold as you watched him grab a towel and storm out of the bathroom.

Jay couldn't hate himself more if he tried.

Leaving pools of water in his path as he stalked down the hallway to his bedroom, he urged himself to turn around and go back, the guilt he felt at leaving you like that when he knew he cared so much about you making him realize how cowardly and pathetic he was.

He slammed the door so hard it shook the walls and cursed loudly, pacing while he tried to calm his breathing, the temptation he felt to punch the wall or tear apart the room increasing with each passing second.

He didn't realize he had been clenching his fists so tightly until the sharp pain in his left one seemed to register in his brain, looking down to see a deep red beginning to spill from the gash even through the darkness of his room. Exhaling a shaky breath, Jay sat on his bed and pressed the towel still wrapped around his waist onto the cut, trying to stop his racing thoughts and ache in his heart as much as the bleeding.

Jay knew if you left that he would be able to clear his head and move on, focusing on healing and resuming his training so he could fight again, but at the same time he prayed for the sky to open up again to prevent you from leaving.

He was stupid for treating you how he had, the point he was trying to make by acting this way completely useless, comparing what he felt for you to that bullshit with Liza like comparing night and day.

Before he could manage to fuck up anything else, Jay stood and crossed the space between his bed and the door in a fury, rushing into the hallway with only one thing on his mind.

You shut off the taps, blinking furiously to rid the tears mixing with drops of water that ran down your face, the most defeated and helpless feeling coursing through you.

It was clear that Jay would never accept that you had feelings for him or learn to trust you, his hurt too powerful that it blocked out anything good that he felt he didn't deserve.

Grabbing a towel from the stack of them on a rack beside the shower, you wrapped it around yourself in search of some sort of comfort and took a deep breath, needing to get control of your emotions and this situation.

It was temporary, you reminded yourself. The storm that was the reason for you being stuck here was settling, and the wound on Jay's hand that brought you here in the first place was healing, so you would be going home as soon as the roads reopened.

The thought of returning to work was welcoming, looking forward to the distraction it would provide as you let time fade everything you were feeling, and you knew after being closed because of the storm that the clinic would be busier than ever. Maybe you would even reach out to Deb tomorrow to see if she would be willing to come pick you up from here, not wanting to ask Jay for more than he's already given you and wanting to spare you both from the awkward and most likely silent ride back to where your car was left stranded.

You walked out of the bathroom and tread quietly down the hallway, pausing when you passed Jay's room. You had heard the door slam, so it didn't come as a surprise to see it still closed, but part of you had hoped it was open again, acting as a symbol of amendment or olive branch. Hesitating for only a moment while you debated knocking, you thought better of it and forced yourself away, going to the room you were staying in and shutting the door behind you. A sad smile crept on your lips as the significance of closing the door was like closing the door on whatever this was, and you prayed for strength to carry you through the rest of your time here.

Even with convincing yourself of the finality of it, you couldn't seem to drown the persistent swell of your heart whenever you thought of him, and as much as you told yourself that you were okay with this being nothing more than sex, you knew there was so much more to it.

"Fuck…" you muttered, not thinking twice before turning the doorknob and pulling open the door, your heart leaping into your throat the moment you looked out down the hallway.

---

Taglist:

@sotwk @dailydragon08 @sunnys-day @thedreadandthefugitivemind @glassgulls @littlenosoul @glitterypirateduck @momia2910 @maggotzombie @rmwarn90 @paintlavillered @stealfromthedevil @kmc1989 @ourlonelymountain @itspdameronthings @theesirenteller

I went ahead and tagged everyone I have written down for my Charlie/Will Miller taglist so my apologies if you're not interested in being tagged in this and I will happily add or remove anyone as they wish!

#jay mills #deadfall #jay mills smut #jay mills x female reader #deadfall 2012 #charlie hunnam #charlie hunnam characters #jay mills x reader #deadfall (2012)

[fatehbaz]

In the ruins, ‘master narratives of history as progress decompose into the tense confabulations of a continuously remembered past that hits the present like a nervous shock’ [...]. The ghosts of this past rear up in the ruin, they are the debris of unprecedented material destruction [...] ‘the “trash” of history’ [...]. Forgetting this carnage [would be to support] the myth of [...] progress [...]. But the ruins remember [...], revealing the fragility of the social order. [...] Hauntings rupture linear temporality, inconveniently bring forth energies, which have supposedly been extinguished and forgotten. [...] Cities [and places, generally] seem to becoming increasingly regulated. In the transformation towards a service economy during the 1980s [in Britain], [...] [o]ld industrial sites were turned into shopping centres, retails parks and leisure sites. [...] There is then, in the drive to market places, [...] an aesthetic imperative to smooth over the cracks [...], and to fix the past, so that it does not intrude into an imagined linear future. [...] In cahoots with [...] marketeers, they suggest that the past is a distant, romantic echo that resounds faintly in museums [...]. Yet the ruins shout back at the refurbished urban text. [...] [T]hey haunt the city, for the unofficial past cannot be exorcised [...]. Ruins are sites where we can construct alternative stories to decentre commodified, official [...] descriptions, and [...] keep the past opened [...]. Counter-memories can be articulated in ruins, narratives that talk back to the smoothing over of difference. Away from the commercial and bureaucratic spaces of the city, ghosts proliferate where order diminishes. Ruins are [...] especially important, because [...] it is ‘essential to see the things and the people who are primarily unseen and banished to the periphery of our social graciousness.’

Text above by: Tim Edensor. “Haunting in the ruins: matter and immateriality.” Space and Culture Issue 11, pages 42-50. January 2002. [Bold emphasis added by me.]

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-

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[T]he contemporary Western city [...] [is] the site of [...] regulatory regimes concerned with strategies of surveillance and aesthetic monitoring [...]. The modern city can never become a wholly Appollonian, seamlessly regulated realm for it continues to be haunted by the neglected, the disposed of, and the repressed [...]. Within the interstices of the city there are a host of other spaces, part of a “wild zone”, a “[…] site […] which avoids the objective processes of ordered territorialisation […]”.

Staged […] through the intensified mediatisation and commodification of popular sites, myths, and icons […], mediated imaginary geographies circulate through adverts, soap operas, ‘classic’ rock stations [...] typically drenched in […] ideologies. […] These exhibitions memorialise culture via ‘publicly sanctioned narratives’ and institutionalised rhetoric [...]. [I]n which people are encoded and contextualied, categorised and narrated.

Accordingly, ruins are places from which other memories can be articulated, from which “the things and the people who are primarily unseen and banished to the periphery of our social graciousness” [...] may be encountered. [...]

[T]he outmoded object can become charged [...] with a certain power, and "might spark a brief profane illumination of a past productive mode, social formation, and structure of feeling -- an uncanny return of a historically repressed moment" [...]. Thus we might stumble across seemingly archaic decor or furniture, [...] toys, and mascots of yesteryear [...], the debris of discarded fashions [...]. Although such objects [may] seem [...] absurd or comical, they may bring back knowledge, tastes, and sensations [...]. This was debris which was enfolded into the mundaneity of a shared everyday [...].

Along with other places on the margins of regulated space, industrial ruins are “points of transition, passages [...], moments of magic that exist at the interstices of modernity” […]. Modern attempts to cleanse, banish ambiguity, and order the memory of space are always disturbed by such disorderly spaces and by the ghosts they contain, who refuse to rest quietly, [...] a “spectral [...] residue“ which haunts dominant ways of seeing and being [...].

In contradistinction to the fixed memories [...] and to the imaginary linearities proposed by hegemonic […] memories, these ghosts foreground ambiguity, polysemy, and multiplicity, enabling us to “disrupt the signifying chains of legitimacy [...].” Although it is often overcoded and regulated, the city nevertheless contains multitudinous scraps from which alternative stories might be assembled. […] In spaces such as industrial ruins, the excessive debris confronted constitutes material for multiple modes of narration about the past: “the debris of shipwrecked histories still today raise up the ruins of an unknown, strange city. They burst forth within the modernist, massive, homogenous city like slips of the tongue from an unknown, perhaps unconscious, language” [...].

This kind of remembering implies an ethics about confronting and understanding otherness (here, the alterity of the past) which is tactile, imaginative […].

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Text by: Tim Edensor. “The ghosts of industrial ruins: ordering and disordering memory in excessive space.” Environment and Planning D: Society and Space Volume 23, pages 829-849. 2005. [Bold emphasis and some paragraph breaks/contractions added by me.]

#halloween #i guess idk #abolition #ecology #haunted #imperial #colonial

[scrinja]

unprompted ask / always accepting

@endhell​ said: Everyone else would have died a happy death over this chance, but she could just grimace at the very idea of working with this guy. She barely knew him apart of being quite desired and liked, but mostly having a terrible art style in her opinion, potentially ruining her good grades. Why in the world must it be partner work. "I guess now you are awake," she comments, considering their fate; having rolled over and stopping right beside his table. Popular or not, she wasn't afraid, if anything, just annoyed as she doubted it would be easy with a guy who sleeps mostly in class. "I'm Gao Fang." In case he was completely unaware of her existence; at least she did not have to carry her stepfather's surname, which would have intensified some other issues.  

     it had been a long night, & even longer morning, that everything in-between was nothing more than a hazy memory—a blurred image that tried to be solidified, only to be whisked away with each blink. anyone would have been able to tell that he didn’t get much sleep. his yawns, giving away his exhaustion. teachers barely acknowledged it, though. be it pity, or disinterest for the boy who had lost his parents, a few years ago. when he wasn’t dozing off, he was sketched in his notebook, with a cheek resting against his palm. the sound of his pencil dragging along the paper became his sole focus at times. it made everything more bearable.

      his eyes were partially opened, then closed. a shadowy image was in his plane of sight, but he could not make what it was until another blink followed, & then, another. the image becoming more clear, once his vision became less foggy. it didn’t feel like he had slept for long, but the way that he was greeted with, suggested otherwise. instinctively, sangwoo rubbed his eyelids with the back of his fist, as he tried to stir himself awake. his yawn was contained by having his lips pressed together, not allowing himself to exhibit any more of his evident tiredness. his eyes narrowed in her direction, before placing crossed arms over the table, using them as support when he leaned in the direction of his classmate, whilst wearing a lazy smile upon his lips.

     “i know you.” he confirmed. his voice, a bit hoarse from not speaking until now. it warranted a clearance of his through. “sorry ‘bout that. i worked till late.” which was only partially a lie—the main reason behind his struggle to sleep, being the very house he inhabited. if it wasn’t one thing, it was another. “i know, i know. no excuse, but i will try to do better.” ‘ try ‘ being a key component here. this time, he’d smile with his eyes. “oh sangwoo... since we are exchanging introductions. i look forward to working with you.”

#endhell #.ic / wring the blood from my hands #.ask / don’t pretend that you understand me

[letmehavemyfictionalmen]

𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 •

Hey there! I'm Ridhi, and I'm thrilled to have you here at my masterlist. Get ready to dive into a compilation of my written works that'll take you on an exhilarating journey across various fandoms.

I've poured my heart and soul into these pieces, and I hope they bring you as much joy as they've brought me. So grab a cozy spot, kick back, and let the magic unfold. Enjoy!

* Please note that requests are open and I will do my best to fulfill them.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧

— series —

* Stars Collide; Stars Crossed

summary: Their love was an unexpected journey, a clash of two different worlds. Din Djarin, the skilled bounty hunter, and the young Jedi with a powerful heritage. Together, they embarked on a quest to protect the galaxy and one very special child, learning to trust each other and discovering a bond that transcended their differences.

pairing: Din Djarin x afab!Skywalker!reader

* Galatic Vows

summary: Amidst worlds vastly divergent, two souls are joined by fate's decree, an arranged bond. Strangers at first, a flame flickers, then steadily grows, a bright ember born of the intricacies of their new life. Through turmoil and strife, they forge ahead, their love unfurling like a rare, exquisite flower blooming amidst the chaos of the battlefield. Side by side, they brave their trials, fighting for their beliefs and for each other, and in this struggle, they form an unbreakable bond.

pairing: Manda’lor!Din Djarin x afab!Princess!reader

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐎𝐟 𝐔𝐬

— series —

*Echoes of Sanctuary

summary: In a world ravaged by a devastating outbreak, Joel, a weathered survivor burdened by the weight of his past, finds an unexpected glimmer of hope in Ellie, a young girl immune to the infection. Amidst the chaos and despair, a glimmer of hope emerges when Joel unexpectedly finds love and solace in the most unexpected of places after two decades of heartache.

pairing: Joel Miller x afab!doctor!reader - main

*Hollywood’s Sweetheart

summary: In an alternate universe where the outbreak never occurred, Joel Miller leads a quiet and mundane life on a ranch with his two daughters and his brother. Their peaceful existence is interrupted when a fateful encounter brings Hollywood's beloved sweetheart into their lives, turning their world upside down.

pairing: Cowboy!Joel Miller x Singer!Actress!Reader

*A Doll's Heart

Summary: When visiting your best friend, Barbara Handler, also known as Stereotypical Barbie, you make a decision to connect with the two girls who have played with your doll counterpart for years, all while dealing with issues of self-identity and love. Little did you anticipate that your heart would be captured by Joel Miller, the grumpy yet caring father of the girls. As you navigate the complexities of emotions, you also find yourself playing a role in mending the delicate threads of the Miller family's relationships.

pairing: Joel Miller x Model!Barbie!Reader

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐤𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

— series —

*Love, Lunacy, Time

summary: In a startling twist of fate, you find yourself awakening not in your bedroom at the Avengers compound, but alongside the Moon Knight boys in the 1950s in a sitcom-like setting of the town of Westview. The shock intensifies as you realize that, somehow, you and the Moon Knight boys are married to each other, despite never having crossed paths before.

pairing: Moonknight x afab!ScarletWitch!reader

Moonlit Memories

summary: Amidst their quest to unravel the mystery behind the unbalanced scale of justice, Steven and Marc delve deep into their memories, scouring every detail for a clue. However, in the midst of their journey, they chance upon a memory that seems unfamiliar, as if it belongs to someone else entirely. Intrigued and perplexed, they venture further down the rabbit hole, hoping to uncover the truth that lies buried within.

pairing: Marc Spector/Steven Grant/Jake Lockley x afab!mute!reader

*upcoming

☼ Please note that I do not wish to have my work translated or published on any third party reading websites. I claim the rights to my work.

☼ Where I don’t have any rights to the characters, many ideas and OC are my own creation. Please respect that.

#din djarin #din djarin x you #mandalorian x you #din dijarin x reader #the mandalorian #mandalorian and grogu #grogu djarin #jedi!reader #female!reader #fanfic #mandalorian x reader #din djarin x female reader #din dijarin fanfiction #din djarin fanfiction #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x reader #star wars #din and grogu #grogu the child #mando x reader #masterlist #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #marc spector x reader #steven grant x reader #jake lockley x reader #joel miller masterlist #joel miller x reader #moonknight masterlist #din djarin masterlist

[be-with-me-so-happily]

Chapter 2

Series Summary: There are moments in our lives that have a major impact. The interactions, the adventures, and the love, all make up who we are. But when Harry can't remember those moments with YN, they are both left wondering what that means for themselves and their relationship.

Chapter Summary: YN starts to realize that while reminiscing could potentially help Harry, it is only hurting her more. He has lost those memories, but she's lost those moments.

A/N: The nickname YN's BFF has for her is explained in the chapter, and that's according to my own understanding. Thank you to @a-strange-familiar for confirming it's accurate.

~~~~~

Chapter Warnings: Some explicit language, memory loss, ex-girlfriend, mention of medical issue (father), angst

~~~~~

At 5am in the morning your eyes had shot wide open, and you've been awake ever since. The idea that you and Harry will be meeting up and talking with Tabitha had you tossing and turning all night. Truth be told, it's been causing you restless nights for a whole week.

You had to go through a friend of a friend of a friend to get Tabitha's information, which gave you a weird sense of relief that it wasn't so easy to contact her.

However, that relief dissipated when she so eagerly agreed to meet up and help Harry. She didn't have to be so eager. You hated that she was so eager.

The rest of the week has been quiet and simple- only really spending time at your place or Anne's, taking Harry to another appointment, running errands, and just making sure he has what he needs. Quiet and simple. Except for the anxious nagging in the back of your mind, which has done nothing but intensify this morning.

Harry, on the other hand, seems to be a bit more at ease, and even has the slightest pep in his step, which is bruising your already battered heart.

But, today was the day, and there is nothing you can do about it now except be the most supportive girlfriend you could be, even if he can't remember any of your previous attempts at that.

•••

"Hey, YN! You're normally not here on Saturday… want your usual?"

"Yeah. Thanks Jade."

You pay for your coffee and scoot over to the side of the counter where you wait to receive it.

She's right, you're usually not here on a Saturday, but you're usually not desperately hoping to run into a certain tall, gorgeous man either.

Jade hands your latte over, and you take a sip as you turn to slowly head back out the door.

You stop in your tracks and almost spit it out when you meet the gaze of those gloriously green eyes that you were introduced to the day before.

"No cupcake?" You hear that beautiful, British accent ask.

He uses his foot to push out the chair opposite of him, and you giggle as you take a seat.

"No. It's just a routine stop today."

"Really? 'Cause I just heard the barista say that you're normally not here on Saturdays…" He chuckles.

Your mouth drops open slightly at his cheekiness.

"And you're never here, so…"

"That is not true. I was here yesterday, and now today. It's my new coffee spot." He chuckles again.

"It's been my coffee spot for four years."

"Okay, fair enough." He bites his lower lip as you see a blush suddenly flood his cheeks. "How 'bout it's 'our' coffee spot then?"

If ever there were a time to indulge in baked goods, it would be right now. Right now, sitting at your usual table at your usual coffee shop with your boyfriend, waiting for his ex-girlfriend to waltz through the doors at any moment.

The bell on the handle jingling, the shift in Harry's position, and the clicking of heels against the floor, alerts you to the fact that Tabitha is here.

He instantly stands up and walks around the table to greet her.

"Harry!" She exclaims, her hands reaching out to embrace him.

He immediately responds with a wide grin, swiftly engaging in a lingering hug with her.

"Hello, love." He utters, as she pulls back, holding his shoulders and looking into his eyes.

Your stomach begins to twist and you become riddled with nervous energy again.

"Thanks for doing this, Tabitha." You state, subsequently breaking up the little reunion moment that was taking place between them.

"Yeah! Of course! Anything to help." She replies, giving Harry one last smile before sitting down at the table across from him.

You seat yourself by his side again, secretly hoping that your presence will keep the conversation on the current situation you're all in, and nothing more.

"The rings… those are new…" She states, looking to his hands as she settles into her chair.

"Oh. Yeah." He looks down at his fingers. "I, umm, apparently wear a lot more of 'em now. I like 'em."

"I like it, too. Different, like the shirts and the new tattoos…" Your jaw clenches as you see her gaze travel up his arm to his chest. "But I like it."

He clears his throat and quickly runs his fingers over the corner of his mouth. "Yeah. Loads different."

You unintentionally clear your throat out of frustration, but are thankful you did when you notice her straighten up.

"So, Harry, how can I help?"

His smile dims down a bit, and he anxiously twists his jewelry around his fingers.

"Well… umm…" He quickly glances over to you, biting the inside of his cheek, before swiftly returning his gaze and smile back on her. "So you know about the accident, yeah?"

Tabitha brings her hands up to her cheeks, and you see her eyebrows raise in a sympathetic expression.

"Oh my gosh, yes! How horrible for you!" She exclaims, shooting a quick look your way, then turning back to Harry. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice a small smile across his face.

"Yeah. It definitely was." He sighs. "Worst part is… the… umm… the memory loss."

You shift in your seat, uneasy that this conversation does not seem to be going at the most productive pace, but also wanting to go at a speed Harry is comfortable with. This isn't easy in any type of way.

"So, Tabitha…" You utter, doing your best to keep your anxiety at bay. "We were hoping you could maybe clear things up for him."

"Yeah! Anything!" She flashes another big smile. "I'll do anything to help."

She doesn't have to be so eager. You hate that she is so eager.

"Umm… so…" Harry begins to utter, running his hand through his hair to try and calm his uncomfortable demeanor. "It's just that… I don't remember us breaking up…"

A frown appears between his brows as he shrugs. His gaze drops down to his lap and you can just barely make out the brief dart of his eyes over to you.

Your stomach knots up again, and you come to the realization that he is uncomfortable talking about this topic because of you. Because you are there. Because he is talking to the woman he remembers loving, about the woman he doesn't even remember existing in his life.

"Hey, I'll let you two catch up real quick." You take a deep breath, not convinced at all that this is the right thing to do, but willing to do what it takes for Harry to feel at ease. "So, I'll just be sitting on a stool over there."

They both nod towards you, and as you stand up out of your chair, you notice how Harry's body begins to relax.

At first, you glance over to see a serious look of concentration on his face. She must be explaining the breakup, which you're sure is difficult for him to hear. Especially if it was as hurtful as he had told you it was. But as you continue watching their conversation unfold, you notice his eyes begin to soften, and his smile becomes brighter. It starts to initiate a flood of jealousy inside. Not only is your boyfriend talking with his ex-girlfriend, but he is comfortable with it, and happy doing it.

They both let out a small laugh, which triggers a tightness in your chest, but they both stand up and engage in a quick hug. You finish your coffee and make your way over to meet them at the entrance door.

"Well, YN, I hope I helped enough." She states, making you uneasy as you witness the wink she sends Harry's way. "Bye, Harry. It really was good to see you."

A smile stretches halfway across his face as he nods back at her. "Yeah, you too. And thank you."

•••

While Harry takes an afternoon nap, you meet up with your best friend, Adhira, back at Way Cup cafe.

"This is my second time being here today and I feel more at ease being here with you." You sigh, finally looking up from your coffee mug.

"How was that?" She raises an eyebrow. "How was… Tabitha…"

You enjoy the disdain in her voice as she speaks the name, justified and thankful you aren't the only one who feels that way towards that woman.

"I mean, how could it be anything but weird..."

"Yeah. What did you even talk about?"

"I don't really know." You shake your head.

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I kind of… let them… talk alone." You shrug your shoulders and take another sip of coffee.

"You what?" She scolds, almost spitting out the sip of coffee she had also just taken. "You let your boyfriend talk alone with his ex-girlfriend, who he thinks he's still in love with?"

"Adhira, you don't understand!" You glance around the cafe to make sure you haven't been too loud. "I wanted him to feel free to talk to her, to clear things up. He was more comfortable doing that without me sitting right there."

"All the more reason to not let him talk alone with her." She scolds.

"I'm just doing whatever I can to help him."

You pull your lips in, holding back tears, and she reaches over to hold your hand.

"Didi, look, you love him and have a heart of gold. But you have got to do what's good for you too."

You shake your head, a tear trickling down your cheek as your breath shudders.

"I don't know what's good for either of us. It's just getting too difficult."

She pulls her hand away and leans back against her chair, running her fingers along her lips as a pensive expression appears on her face.

"What if…" She hums. "What if we have, like, a Sunday brunch tomorrow? It can be me, Sarah, Mitch… I'll bring Jordan. Maybe Gemma and Michal can join, so it can be a couple-type thing, with just a small group of friends. Just something fun, and chill."

You stare down at your coffee, contemplating her suggestion.

"I actually really like that idea." You reply.

"I've been due for a good one." She chuckles.

"Maybe we can have it at Anne's, or Sarah's, so it can be somewhere that he… knows…"

Adhira reaches back over to you, grabbing your hand as another tear begins to fall.

"Hey, look at me." She says, with a strong but calm tone. "This'll be good."

You squeeze her hand with your other hand and shrug. "As long as it's good for him, then it's good for me."

•••

On one hand, you're feeling hopeful, as you wait for Harry to come out of the office. You're hoping the idea of brunch excites him. You're hoping he'll be able to have a good time. And you're hoping that, by some miracle, it'll do something for his memories.

However, on the other hand, every idea feels desperate to you at this point. Every idea feels like it'll just let you down, again.

For some reason, your heart races as you hear the door open, and you perk up on the couch as you hear his footsteps coming down the hall.

"Hey!" You let out, excitedly.

"Hello…" He slightly chuckles at your enthusiasm.

"I had an idea…" You state. "Well, it was Adhira's idea-"

"Who?"

"Right. She's my best friend." You shake your head to get back on track. "She suggested we all have a little Sunday brunch tomorrow. What do you think?"

"Umm…" He begins to run the back of his neck, and now you know that he's uncomfortable. "So… your best friend… wants to have brunch with us?"

"Oh! No! It would be a small group of our friends."

"Okay…"

"So us, of course, Adhira and her boyfriend Jordan, maybe Gemma and Michal, plus Sarah and Mitch."

"Yeah!" He exclaims, finally matching your enthusiastic tone. "That… Yeah. That sounds great. I've been wanting to see them."

"Okay." You giggle. "I'll call everyone up then."

•••

Sarah has offered her home to be the gathering spot, since Anne has to work, and you realize that the change of scenery might be a good thing, for both you and Harry.

As the two of you enter the house, a thunderous shout is heard.

"Surprise!"

"Fuck!" Harry exclaims, stumbling back for a moment. "Y'know I knew this was happening, yeah? This isn't a surprise party…"

"Yeah, but you were still surprised." Mitch jokes, walking closer to Harry.

"Only by how shrieky your voice has gotten!" He chuckles, reaching out to grab Mitch's hand and bringing him in for a hug. "Good to see ya, mate."

"You too, man. You too."

Gemma brushes past Harry to give you a hug, which only causes him to roll his eyes in response.

"How's it going?" She whispers as she embraces you.

"I'll let you know when I know." You shrug.

The rest of the greetings come from the remaining group members, and you introduce, or re-introduce, Harry to Adhira and Jordan.

"Hi, what's your name again?" Adhira jokes, causing Harry's head to shoot over to yours, and you to just roll your eyes. "YN, he's way hotter than that guy Harry you were dating."

"Addy."

"I'm sorry, Didi!" She replies with a giggle, turning her gaze back to Harry.

"Didi?" Harry looks between the two of you.

"It's a term of endearment, sort of like calling her 'sister', in Hindi." Adhira explains.

"How long have you two been friends?" Harry asks.

"Since we were little. Like… five years old or something? Right?" She replies, looking at you for confirmation.

"Yeah. Too long apparently." You chuckle in response, causing a glare to shoot your way.

"You're no fun." She complains with a smile, turning back to Harry. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. S'actually nice to not have someone look at me like a sad, lost little puppy." He admits.

"Well, YN always wanted a puppy…" She laughs.

"Adhira!"

"What?"

"Don't listen to this one, man." Jordan speaks up, squeezing Adhira's waist and rolling his own eyes. "She's just upset that I won't forget things, like how she recently ruined my favorite sweater."

"Oh my god, Jordan."

Harry laughs, and it is such a beautiful, missed sound that it catches you off guard for a moment. Adhira seems to notice, because she gives you a wink, as if to encourage you that her plan is working.

The four of you begin to move to the large dining table completely covered by platters of food.

"Alright friends." Sarah announces. "We've got assorted fruits, bagels with a variety of cream cheese options and smoked salmon, croissant sandwiches, muffins, sausage, bacon, and the amazingly delicious -and I hope I got the recipe right- famous hash brown casserole. Help yourselves!"

"What's so good about the hash brown casserole?" Harry asks, looking over to you with a curious expression splashed across his face.

"It's not really anything special." You shake your head.

"YN…" Adhira states.

"It's not…" You shrug, causing her to roll her eyes as she places a big slice onto her plate.

"You should try it Harry. It really is amazing." She encourages, handing him an empty plate.

"M'not the biggest hash brown guy." He admits, and your head drops slightly.

"Well yeah." She chuckles. "But you do love this one."

"I do?" He shrugs, scooping a piece onto his plate. "Alright, I'll… I'll give it a go."

He grabs some more fruit and makes his way to a seat next to the other guys. You subtly watch him settle in with his friends as you pick at the grapes on your plate.

"Seems to be going well so far." She utters as she leans her shoulder against yours.

"To be fair, we haven't been here that long." You chuckle, causing her to push against you so that you lose your balance momentarily.

"He looks happy." She states confidently.

"First time in a while." You admit.

Adhira looks past you and you feel another presence on your other side.

"Okay, I could tell from over there that you're moping." Gemma states, and you turn to see her reprimanding expression.

"I'm not moping."

"Yes she is." Adhira whispers in debate.

"So come sit down then, for fucks sake. You're allowed to have fun too, y'know. Harry is." She grabs your free hand and begins to walk you, with Adhira, over to the couches. You notice Harry's relaxed demeanor, just like how it was at the cafe yesterday. But at least this time it is with people you like.

And at least this does feel somewhat normal, and you've been needing a bit of that lately.

•••

"I just can't believe we've been playing gigs, mate." Harry exclaims to Mitch, shaking his head in disbelief.

"I know, right?" Mitch replies with a laugh. "It's been so fun."

"When did we start doing that?"

"Umm…" Mitch furrows his brow and glances up at the ceiling, seeming to do some calculations in his head. "It was… it was, like, two years ago? Right, babe?"

Sarah nods, shooting a quick gaze your way, then over to Harry, before back to Mitch. "Yeah, that sounds about right."

"We only ever talked about doing gigs, casually, I never thought we'd actually do them." Harry looks curiously at Mitch. "What made us start?"

"These two." Mitch immediately extends an arm in your direction, his index pointing straight at you, then darting over to Sarah.

The two of you look at each other and laugh, trying to keep your bite of food from flying out of your mouth.

"You just made it sound like some big conspiracy, Mitch!" You exclaim.

"Well, you two get into lots of shenanigans when you're together." He replies.

"That's not true!"

"F'course it is! Like the time you two pretended to be sick on our ski trip so you could spend the day in the spa…" Gemma expresses.

"Excuse me? You came too, Gem!" Sarah laughs.

"Yeah, but I told Michal I was staying back." She giggles.

"To take care of them!" Michal interjects.

"Oh my god. Anyway…" Mitch shakes his head. "When our girls met, it was over for us, man."

The moment Mitch says 'our girls', you feel yourself wince and you realize that you don't know if you're actually Harry's anymore. An overwhelming sense of uneasiness floods over you. What if he doesn't like the idea of you being 'his girl' anymore? What if he feels like he's forced to be with you now?

"What do you mean?" Harry asks, his gaze flickering between you and your friend beside you.

"Adhira's brother worked at a bar, so all I did was mention it to Sarah." You explain, shrugging your shoulders as you begin to pick at some grapes again.

"And helped them book their first gig." Adhira states.

"And the rest of them after that." Jordan adds.

"And the one at that local music festival." Mitch states.

"Okay, what is this?" You mumble, a blush filling your cheeks as a frustration begins to add itself to your uneasiness.

You look over to Harry, seeing the most mixed expression you've ever seen on someone's face. It looked like a mixture of gratitude, confusion, and embarrassment. It wasn't making you feel any better.

"I was just helping." You state. You shovel another bite of food into your mouth and notice Harry does the same.

"Damn. This casserole really is amazing, Sarah!" Harry exclaims.

"High compliment coming from you, Styles." She subtly squeals. "I tried to get it as close to YN's recipe as possib-"

"YN's recipe?" His eyes quickly shoot over to yours, and you respond with a simple shrug.

"Yeah, well, she spent a lot of time creating it so she's had way more practice."

"What do you mean?"

"Sarah he doesn't fucking remember." Mitch shakes his head.

"Sorry, H." She winces. "Apparently you and YN had a squabble over breakfast foods one day-"

"Seriously?" He chuckles.

"Sarah." You attempt to interject. Your friends are trying to help him, but now you're worried that it might be too much on him.

"She was determined that she could convince you that hash browns in casserole form was the ultimate breakfast meal."

"Sarah, please, you don't need to make a big deal out of it." You state, suddenly getting a weird feeling in your stomach.

"Hush." She responds. "She spent hours perfecting this recipe."

You look up quickly to Harry, shaking your head, trying to downplay your efforts. "It wasn't hours."

"It was hours. Until she finally felt like it was worthy of a taste test."

"Okay…" Harry replies, waiting for the finale of the explanation.

"Well… you loved it… had her make it every weekend for two months!" She exclaims.

"I'm pretty sure you were just amusing me…" You smirk.

"It's been part of all our get-togethers ever since." She adds, grinning over at you as if she had accomplished a huge feat.

"M'sorry." He looks at you with an apologetic sadness in his eyes before looking back at Sarah. "I don't remember."

"It's alright, man. You're still easing your way back into it all." Mitch reassures him with a chuckle.

"Yeah. But it's not that easy." He shakes his head. You can see in your peripheral that his glance quickly shoots over in your direction.

"And it's just a casserole." You sigh, staring down at your plate. The uneasiness in your stomach grows, and you just want to get away, so you excuse yourself to the bathroom.

After splashing some water on your face, and taking deep breaths -feeling like the moment is quite similar to the one at Anne's house- you open the door and come face to face with Sarah.

"What are you doing YN?"

"Umm… freshening up…"

"No, I mean, with Harry."

You look at her quizzically and find her giving you the same expression, which only confuses you more.

"What?"

"You're brushing stuff off. As if the things you did, and do, for him aren't a big deal."

"Are you talking about the casserole?" You chuckle.

"No." She scowls. "Okay, well, yes. But no. Not just that. Anytime someone talks about something you've done for him, you… like… shut down the conversation…"

"He doesn't need to hear a list of all the meaningless, little things I've done for him."

"He needs to hear how much you love him!"

"It doesn't matter how much I love him if he doesn't remember how much he's supposed to love me!" You shock yourself with that statement, and by the expression on Sarah's face, you've shocked her a bit too. You clear your throat and feel your lower lip start to tremble.

"YN." She replies sternly, grabbing your shoulders and looking you right in the eyes. "Don't do that."

"What am I supposed to do then, Sarah?" You straighten up, staring back at her, intensely searching for an answer.

"I just… I mean…" She sighs with a shrug.

"Because I am doing everything I can think of and still nothing!"

"I don't know YN. I'm so sorry. But… come on. It's you and Harry! You two are head-over-heels in love with each other. You're meant to be together."

"But..." You wince at your thoughts, feeling your heart begin to crumble. "Maybe 'meant to be together' doesn't always mean forever."

She squeezes your arms, pulls you in for a hug, and you can feel her own tense breaths as you try to hold back your own.

"He… he was… so comfortable with Tabitha yesterday, Sarah. So relaxed. The way he is tonight with you guys." Your tone gets shaky and your breathing becomes shallow. "He hasn't been like that with me since the accident."

"He needs time."

"I don't know if time is enough."

"He needs your love, too."

"I…" Your eyes squeeze shut and you let out a whimper. Suddenly images of your life together flash through your mind, quickly followed by the ones you've seen recently. "I don't know if my love is enough anymore, either."

You stand there silent, not daring to open your eyes, almost convincing yourself that by holding them shut a little longer you could will everything back to how it should be. But when you open them, you just see her giving you the look that Harry had been describing earlier. The sad, lost little puppy look. "Sorry, I'm just… tired."

"Why don't you go back home?"

"What? Why?"

"You just said you were tired. I can only assume that you haven't been sleeping well, and every minute awake is probably focused on Harry. That's who you are. You take care of everyone." She gives you a knowing look. "You need take care of yourself and get some rest too."

"I can't." You shake your head. "I have to drive Harry back."

"I can do that." She rubs her palms up and down your arms. "Get some rest, even if you don't sleep."

The hesitation inside is like a thick wall. Even though you know that she is making a good point, it's so hard to consider not only leaving Harry but doing anything for yourself right now. But she guides you out of the hallway and your hesitation is replaced by something else, as you see Harry sitting down with the guys, laughing harder than he has in a while now.

The feeling that replaces hesitation is bittersweet. It's partly joy, from seeing the man you love with a big smile on his face. That part fills your heart up. But it's also partly, and oddly paired with, sadness. Sadness from having not been seeing the man you love with that big of a smile on his face. Not lately anyway. You miss it.

He's happy right there. And you're over here, standing in the shadow of the hallway.

You don't need to be there.

"Okay." You sigh, finally relenting to Sarah's suggestion. "Maybe I will go home."

•••

Just as you figured, being home isn't making things any better for you. You've tried napping, reading, and watching a movie, but nothing has done the job. How did Sarah think you'd be able to relax? How did you convince yourself that you would be able to?

At least when Harry was here your mind was somewhat distracted from the reality of things. Not that you didn't think about it, but at least the weight of it wasn't as noticeable. You were preoccupied with the duties you needed to do.

However, now you're left alone in your empty apartment, spiraling just from the sight of Harry being happy. Being happy without you there next to him. And maybe, just maybe, being happy because you weren't there next to him.

Suddenly, and thankfully, your phone begins to ring and you are pulled back from those thoughts.

"Hey, Mom!" A tingle of joy runs over you at the sound of her voice.

"Hi, my sweet girl. How are you?"

"I miss you." Tears instantly fall down your cheeks. This woman is your main comfort, aside from Harry, and you so desperately wish she could just wrap you up in a hug at this moment.

"Do you want me to come out there, sweetheart?"

"No. I know it's too difficult of a trip for Dad."

You feel so selfish and guilty as frustration of their lack of presence bubbles up inside. Your dad has always had problems with his lungs. When you were younger, he couldn't work, and spent his time taking care of you at home while your mom was at her job. But as time progressed, so did his symptoms, and more often than not he was the one that needed to be taken care of.

He relies a lot on a portable oxygen tank now when he needs to get around, but living on the other side of the country and taking a long flight are just made that much more difficult by his condition. As much as you love him and want to see them both, you couldn't do that to them.

"We can figure something out if you need me there, YN, sweetheart. Just let me know."

"I will, Mom." You let out a subtle sigh, hoping your mom couldn't hear it through the phone. The last thing you want is for her to feel guilty. "But… I'll be okay. It's not me who needs taking care of."

"How is Harry?"

"Honestly, Mom, I don't know how to answer that anymore."

"Tell me what's on your mind."

You spend the next forty-five minutes talking about everything with her. You mostly cry, and she does too, telling you that her heart is breaking for you. It doesn't change anything for you, but it actually feels nice for someone to validate your pain rather than tell you it'll be okay. But she still does that too.

To take away the heaviness of it all, she gives you all the gossip from their neighborhood and group of friends. You could swear older people have as much drama as any other age group, and it does do the trick, even if just for a moment.

The conversation feels so therapeutic for you, that once you say your goodbyes, you put your phone on the coffee table and fall asleep on the couch.

•••

A noise pulls you out of your rest, as you hear keys jingle in the front door.

Harry walks in and stops as he turns to you.

"Shit. M'sorry. Were… you sleeping? I didn't mean to wake you..."

"It's okay." You sit up, taking a deep stretch of your back and fixing your hair while he is turned away to close the door.

He has a smile on his face and his whole demeanor seems lighter.

He walks to the kitchen and you get up to follow, intending on grabbing a glass of water. But as you walk past him, his scent grabs you. You miss it, you miss his warmth, and you miss him. So much. Without knowing it, you place your hand on his shoulder as you stand beside him, looking at the dish that he had brought back with him.

"You took the casserole?" You giggle.

He looks over to you, with a subtle smile on his face, and he shrugs. You're instantly aware of where your hand is, and bring it back down, already missing his touch once it's removed.

"I, umm… I really did like it. Loved it, actually." He clears his throat. "M'sorry I didn't remember that… that you make it for me."

"Harry. It's just a casserole. It's not that big of a deal." You unintentionally let out a chuckle. "With everything you've… forgotten… a casserole is the least of my worries."

He chuckles along with you for a moment, but his face quickly falls and he looks back to the food in front of him.

"I don't mean to worry you…"

"I know." Again, your hand can't help but find his shoulder, and this time you let it. At this point, you'll take whatever amount of his touch, in whatever way you can. "It's just…"

"Hard."

"Different."

"Fucking ridiculous."

"Yeah." You sigh. Maybe it's your proximity to him, your hand on his shoulder, or just the fact that you're agreeing on the inconvenience of this entire situation, but this little conversation feels so nice to be having. Your instinct is to ask how he's feeling, to take care of anything he needs, but you don't. You just stand there for a moment longer, enjoying a moment that finally feels normal.

"M'gonna take a nap." He states, bringing you back to reality. "But… I kinda just wanna relax, like, the rest of the day…"

"Okay." You reply.

"Maybe… dunno… we could just have this for dinner?" He points to the casserole dish. "And maybe… just hang out… watch a movie too?"

Your heart flutters. Something normal.

"That sounds good."

"Alright." He subtly smiles again. "Good."

•••

"You don't think this scene is romantic?"

"I do, I'm just surprised 'The Notebook' is getting you so teary-eyed!"

"Come on, he's so desperately in love with her that he can't hold back from kissing her in the rain? That's peak romance, Cupcake."

"I guess I wouldn't know. Never been that in love, until now, and I've never been kissed in the rain."

"Never? Never been kissed in the rain?" Harry asks, watching as you shake your head. "Oh no. That won't do."

Harry sits you both up on the couch and looks outside the window. He turns to you and grins, grabbing your hand and pulling you off the couch.

"What are you-..." Your mouth drops open. "Harry, no!"

He just chuckles as he opens the balcony door and pulls harder on your arm as you resist.

"Harry!" You yelp, barely able to get his name out through the intense laughter.

"Let me romance you!" He laughs back.

You easily relent, letting yourself be drawn into the rain and into his embrace. He wraps one of his strong, secure arms around your waist, holding your body flush against his. His other hand rests on the back of your neck as he stares into your eyes.

The raindrops trickling down on each of your faces are barely noticeable as he leans his lips to hover over yours.

"Wasn't I right?" He whispers.

"You haven't kissed me yet." You whisper back.

His lips move that last inch and touch yours as you melt into him. Your hand reaches for the back of his head to deepen it even more, and he smiles against the kiss.

You pull your lips away enough to look into his eyes.

"You were right." You chuckle. "Peak romance."

As you clean the kitchen counter, a sound catches your attention, causing you to walk over to look out of the window at the night sky.

A wide grin appears on your face as you excitedly jump around to look at Harry as he sits on the couch with a book in hand.

"It's raining!"

"Okay…" He chuckles, looking over to you.

"Oh, right. Umm…" You begin to bite your thumbnail. "We usually go outside during the first rain of the season."

He furrows his brow in confusion. "Why?"

"It's sort of a tradition. We stand out there for a moment to commemorate the time you…" You clear your throat. "The first time you kissed me in the rain."

"Oh."

"Wanna go out there with me?"

"Oh… umm… it's just…" He replies, giving you a small smile.

"It was because we watched "The Notebook'... We don't have to kiss… obviously… unless you want to… but that would be weird for you… right?... it's just part of the tradition… the kissing… but-"

"I don't wanna go out in the bloody rain, YN!" He exclaims, causing your spine to straighten immediately at the tone in his voice. It was stern, it was harsh, and you do everything you can not to let it make you cry.

You take a deep breath, wrapping your arms around your body to comfort yourself.

"Okay." You utter, catching a glimpse of Harry rubbing his head as you walk out and close the front door behind you.

You continue to hold yourself together until you make it right outside the building, letting your tears blend in with the raindrops that hit your face, and the sound of your sobs be masked by the sound of the rest of them hitting the ground.

The little things that mean so much to you, the things that made your love and relationship so special, have been washed from his memory. Your special moments with him, your relationship with him, and now your life with him. It's all gone. He feels like he never had any of it, and now you feel like you're losing all of it.

You throw your head back and close your eyes, letting every droplet of rain hit your face and wash away your tears. You take one last deep breath and collect yourself enough to head back inside.

As you reach your door, your hand hovering the door handle, you realize that you're shaking. You can't quite seem to tell if you are nervous he will be there, or that he won't be. You shake your head, grabbing the handle, and opening the door to find Harry pacing back and forth by the couch.

"YN, M'sorry. That was… that was so rude of me."

"It's fine Harry." You reply, not meeting his gaze.

"S'not fine…"

"It is. It's fine." You furrow your brow, staring at the ground, feeling your heart begin to guard itself even more from the one man who you had completely opened it up to.

"Are… are you hungry?" He points to the kitchen. "There's still a little casserole left..."

Your arms wrap across your body again, and you shake your head. In the past week or so, this is the first time you've felt like the timid one, the guarded one.

"No, thanks. I'm just gonna take a shower now."

"Yeah. Okay. That's… that's good." He states, and you can see through the corner of your eye that he is running his hand through his hair.

"And I'm going back to work tomorrow, so I'll probably just go to bed after." You sigh, turning towards your bathroom.

"Oh, alright." You hear him sigh too. "I'll… probably just do the same then."

"Okay."

"Umm, goodnight, YN."

"Goodnight, Harry."

This. This was now your 'normal'.

~~~~~

Series Masterlist

~~~~~

If you'd like to send extra support, I'm trying to get to my show at the end of Oct but medical bills are getting in the way 💗Bee xx

~~~~~

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[cherryrainn]

the perfect pair {onceler x reader}

.4 | 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 |

warning; s3lf harm, self-hatred, depression, mental health issues, etc, and A LOT OF ANGST!!

wattpad ver

song to play while reading if you’d like that i think matches this chapter

part before

next part

as something pricks your cheeks, you slowly open your eyes, still feeling groggy. instantly, you snort and sit up, trying to make sense of the situation. "what the..." before you can finish your sentence, something slaps you, and a familiar voice speaks up. "why you still sleepin'? beanpole left, and ya' didn't even say g'bye!" your eyes widen as you recognize the voice.

"what? he's gone? where?" you blurt out, bombarding the small, orange buffoon in front of you with questions. he rolls his eyes at your confusion and frustration. "no, you idiot! he went into town to sell his fhneeds or whatever," he clarifies. you nod, absorbing the information, and without much enthusiasm, you lay back down. the lorax gives you a funny look before speaking up again.

"ay, no! get up! who said you're goin' back to sleep?" he scolds. you let out a groan, feeling the weight of your emotions and the looming dread, but you comply with his demand. "alright! i'm up!" you mumble, and the lorax smiles, satisfied with your response.

"good. i'll see ya outside," he says before leaving. you wait for him to go before standing up and stretching, trying to shake off the remnants of sleep. however, as you do so, a wave of dread washes over you once more. you groan and cup your hands around your face, feeling the weight of your negative emotions. this was expected, but that doesn't mean you have to like it. you despise this feeling, this battle within yourself.

with a sluggish pace, you drag yourself toward the bathroom, hoping that the routine will bring some warmth. as you stand in front of the mirror, you can't help but notice the scars on your arms. they serve as painful reminders of your past struggles. you try to ignore them, but they keep drawing your attention, taunting you. taking a deep breath, you start to wash your face, hoping the simple act will help clear your mind. but despite your efforts, your thoughts keep drifting toward the memories that haunt you.

the overwhelming urge to hurt yourself again creeps into your mind, intensifying the struggle within. you desperately try to push the thought away, fighting against the darkness that threatens to consume you. it's hard to resist, and you just give in.

as you hold the blade in your hand, a surge of emotions floods through you. the familiar sting of pain becomes a twisted comfort, a temporary release from the turmoil within. you watch as crimson lines appear on your skin, tracing a physical manifestation of your inner struggles. the weight of shame and self-doubt bears down on you, intensifying with every cut.

"i should stop before-"

"before i come home?"

in that vulnerable moment, a voice interrupts your self-destructive trance. startled, you turn to find once-ler standing behind you, his expression a mixture of concern and sorrow. his presence brings a sudden rush of embarrassment, as if your private battle has been exposed to the world.

"why... why are you home already?" you stammer, your voice trembling with a blend of guilt and desperation.

he takes a step closer, his eyes never leaving yours. "things didn't go well, but don't mind that," he says softly, his words filled with genuine care. "we're talking about you."

as he gently takes the blade from your hand, you're struck by the tenderness in his touch. it's a gesture that speaks volumes, conveying his unwavering support and understanding. he leads you away from the bathroom, guiding you to a tranquil stream nearby.

sitting beside the water, he assists you in cleansing your wounds, his actions deliberate and gentle. the silence between you carries both weight and comfort, as if words would only dilute the rawness of the moment. you find comfort in his presence, in the simple act of someone being there for you.

finally, as he hands you a towel to dry off, he breaks the silence. "i know things have been tough for you," he says, his voice infused with empathy. "but you don't have to go through it alone."

you meet his gaze, a mixture of gratitude and vulnerability in your eyes. the fear of judgment and rejection lingers, but the flicker of trust begins to emerge. "i... i don't know how to talk about it," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper.

he offers a reassuring smile, his eyes reflecting a depth of understanding. "that's okay," he reassures you. "you can take your time. just know that I'm here for you, no matter what."

a sense of relief washes over you, a glimmer of hope in the darkness. you nod, grateful for his unwavering support, and find solace in the knowledge that you're not alone on this arduous journey.

"thank you," you say softly, the words carrying a weight that surpasses their mere syllables.

as you make your way back to the cottage, onceler opens up about his recent failed business venture in town. you lend a sympathetic ear, offering words of encouragement and support. you listen attentively, providing a safe space for him to share his frustrations and disappointments.

as you step inside the cottage, the lorax greets both of you with his usual cheerful demeanor, oblivious to the weight that had hung in the air earlier. you try your best to immerse yourself in the conversation, engaging in the lorax's lively chatter. however, your mind keeps wandering back to the morning's events, the guilt gnawing at your conscience.

the sense of hope that onceler's presence had ignited within you still lingers, but the guilt over your own struggles dampens it slightly. you question whether he now sees you as weak or damaged, whether he regrets extending his support to you.

suddenly, onceler's voice cuts through your thoughts, snapping you back to the present. "you okay, y/n?" he asks, his voice laced with genuine concern. you blink, realizing that you've been lost in your own world, staring blankly at your plate for several minutes. you offer a small nod, attempting to force a smile. "yeah, i'm fine. just a little tired, i guess."

the lorax eyes you skeptically, sensing that something is amiss. "ya' sure? you seem kinda out of it," he observes. you try to brush off his concern, not wanting to burden them with your inner struggles. "i'm just not a lunch person," you fib, hoping they will let it go.

onceler, however, sees through your facade. he gives you a knowing look, understanding that something deeper is troubling you. yet, he respects your choice to keep it to yourself for now. instead, he smoothly changes the topic, guiding the conversation towards his plans for the remainder of the day.

after a satisfying lunch, you join the lorax in tackling some of the chores around the forest. engaging in productive tasks and physical activity feels nice, helping to clear your mind from the lingering heaviness. as you work alongside the lorax, you find yourself gradually letting go of the burdens that weighed you down earlier.

the day progresses, and you begin to feel more like your true self again. laughter escapes your lips at the lorax's playful antics, the sound filling the forest with warmth. as the evening settles in, you and onceler embark on a serene walk through the quiet woods. the tranquil atmosphere washes over you, bringing a sense of calmness you haven't experienced in a long time.

breaking the silence, you gather the courage to address the events of the morning. you turn to onceler, and with a mix of vulnerability and gratitude, you express your apologies. his surprise is evident on his face as he responds, "what're you talking about?"

inhaling deeply, you continue, "when you caught me with the blade... i'm sorry. i can't help but think you must see me as messed up or damaged." onceler shakes his head emphatically, dismissing your self-critical notions. "no, no, no. i don't think that at all. In fact, i think you're super brave for opening up to me and letting me be there for you."

a sense of relief washes over you, as if a weight has been lifted from your shoulders. gratitude fills your voice as you whisper, "thank you."

onceler wraps his arm around your shoulder, and you lean into his comforting embrace. in his presence, you feel an overwhelming sense of safety and protection, as if nothing in the world can harm you. he reassures you with his soft, reassuring words, "i'm always here for you, okay?"

with a nod, you acknowledge his unwavering support, feeling a deep sense of gratitude for his presence in your life. for the first time in what feels like an eternity, you dare to believe that maybe, just maybe, things will be okay. 

as the day slowly transitions into night, you, onceler, the lorax, and the barbaloots gather around the crackling fire pit outside the cozy cottage. marshmallows are skewered on sticks and roasted to a golden brown, filling the air with a sweet aroma. laughter and cheerful conversations blend harmoniously with the crackling of the flames. for a precious moment, your troubles fade away, replaced by the warmth of the fire and the genuine camaraderie shared among friends.

as the night progresses and the sky adorns itself with a blanket of stars, you retreat to your bed, seeking solace and rest. however, the scars on your arms and the haunting memories claw their way back into your thoughts, threatening to shatter the peace you briefly tasted. frustration wells up within you as you attempt to push them away, but they persist, unwilling to be ignored. the weight of it all brings you to the verge of a breakdown.

unable to find warmth in sleep, you sit up in bed and take deep breaths, attempting to steady your racing thoughts. it's then that you notice onceler still awake, sitting at his desk with a pen and paper in hand. sensing your presence, he sets aside his work and turns to face you, concern etched across his features.

"can't sleep?" he asks gently, his voice laced with understanding.

you nod, finding comfort in his presence. "everything okay?"

there's a momentary hesitation as you grapple with your response. uncertainty looms, but then you manage to find your voice, "yeah, just not that tired."

onceler's eyes search yours, sensing that there's more beneath the surface. although he remains silent, his expression conveys his genuine concern.

you wave him off and just lay back down, trying to fall asleep again.

#the onceler #greedler #the greedler #the lorax #reader insert #x reader #onceler x reader #greedler x reader #angst #fluff #mental health #tw s3lf harm #romance #onceler #reader x character #y/n #once-ler #mentally drained #mental health issues #tw sh