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#(sorry sorry back to drafts i go~~ XDD)
iamlittlelostsoul · 11 months
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Love can hurt sometimes...
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yey! am finally finishing all your req!!! although this sorta ended up sorta like a collab between the two of us. Thank youuuu @whatevermywpis >< for giving me this idea and helping me write this Xddd
I hope you along with everyone else enjoy it!!!<33 I'm so sorry for not updating for so long school had me on a noose xdd but i'm free now for a whilee :DD
not me recycling my malleyuu drafts that's been rotting for ages lol xdd
Pairing: Silver x gn!cursed!reader
Theme: Romance and Angst
Overview: "shush, now love....I know I know but I can't help it. I love you and I can't give it up even if it costs my life. Aw, please don't cry smile for me just one last time...please?"
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Silver has heard tons about you from their dorm leader Malleus
It all started with Malleus finding out and meeting with a person that actually lives in the cold abandoned Ramshackle dorm.
Then he goes missing and comes back with the brightest grin on his face as he talks about the things he did with his newfound friend.
It was an adorable sight how Malleus was over the moon talking about his human friend to Lilia, Sebek, and himself. And to Malleus love and excitement he decided to introduce them to his new human friend he's been talking about.
And you were exactly how he imagined from the fae prince's stories.
"Hello, I'm [Mc]! It's really nice to meet you all" they cheerily greet them with a polite bow.
Surprisingly he managed to stay awake the whole time and somewhat and someway you two became closer and you were patient enough to not get mad at him whenever he randomly falls asleep, you'd even go so far and let him sleep on your lap.
Which deepens and strengthens the bonds you two share.
You two have been meeting up often, helping in school tasks, events, or simply just dining together of course you two still include Malleus and the other two. And Malleus is pretty happy that his friend's been getting along with his two retainers and Lilia.
Lilia's been giving him weird looks not the bad kind whenever he was to be with you alone or with the others. He believes Lilia and sometimes Malleus's been scheming something as they hang out with you they'd often excuse themselves yet leave him behind with you....not that he minded it though.
You were nice and sweet and a very fun person to hang out with, you were patient and knowledgeable even when you happen to not belong from their world you seemed to fit in naturally.
Time and time again he always felt so different when he's with you. No it's definitely not the bad kind! It's more nice and comfortable probably something more than just friends.
"You like them." Lilia says with a smug grin interrupting his thoughts.
"I do" Silver says unhesitantly.
"No no romantically~" Lilia says in a rather teasing tone.
"I do?" Silver says cocking his head to the side he's not sure if this is a question to himself or to Lilia...but a part of him sorta knew he does like them. No- he loves them. He always did and now that he realizes it he can't stop the red hues spreading across his cheeks which earned a small chuckle from Lilia.
His heart beats aloud. Ever since Lilia mentioned it, ever since he realized his true feelings. His heart kept pounding so hard that he kinda fears you can hear it every time you and he hangs out.
Lilia and Malleus has been pushing him to go confess. And they've been doing everything necessary to console him that they definitely like him back too. They've even helped set up a date so he could confess his feelings to the [girl/boy] he likes.
The only issue is he couldn't somehow muster his courage to confess much to Lilia and Malleus annoyance (they're not mad just a lil stressed they're playing the long game).
Several times passed by and he finally somehow gained courage in doing so after a long sermon from Sebek on how he's stressing out Malleus-sama yada yada yada.
It was past Midnight and they met up by the garden behind Ramshackle dorm. Their usual hangout place.
"Silver hey!! How's your day been?" They gingerly asks him.
Silver smiled at the sight. He could barely see them and he can't help but be a lil mesmerized at the sight of his beloved laying flat on the grass their face leaning to the side covering half of their face as they remain staring at the fireflies dancing on a row of Dasies, the light from the fireflies and moonlight illuminating their figure and he felt as if he fell for them once again. "Oh...same as usual" he chuckles as he sat beside them.
They stayed like that for several minutes, silent although not awkward but rather comforting.
"Soo...I would like to tell you something" they both spoke in unison startling them and made them chuckle.
"You go first" They said.
"No No you first!" Silver says back.
"Ehh?? No you first!"
They sat there in silence for a moment before Silver takes a deep breath and broke the silence
"So..."
"So?"
"I...have something to confess"
"go on" they urged him.
"I like...no love you" he confesses.
"..."
"..."
"It's ok if you don't like me back...I just wanted to get this off my chest" he says as he watches their features get a lil startled.
"No no! Silver....I...love you too." they said covering their face as it gets a tint of red but something in their eyes shows a hint of sadness.
"You don't have to force yourself to like me." he mutters.
"No no!! It's complicated...I do love you...it's just that..." *they take a sharp breath. "I'm cursed..."
Silver took a moment to process their words. "You're...cursed?" he repeats as his eyes widens and his mouth went hanging open.
They nod as they sat up and face him.
"...How heavy is it? Maybe we could find a cure, I'm sure Malleus-sama and fath-err Lilia-sama is willing to help." He says his eyebrows creasing as he looked at them filled with worry. He felt a tightness in his chest as he awaits for them to answer his question...on the back of his mind he could already tell where this is going.
"I don't really recall when or where I got it...but it's definitely not here in NRC or the day I arrived here. But umm...It can't be cured.."
"It...can't?"
They nods. " It can't..."
"B-...but...don't say that! I'm sure we'll find something! There's a plenty of books and spells here i'm sure one of them will be the cure."
"It can't....that to make it simpler I'm sorta allergic to magic..." they said as they looked away placed a handkerchief on their cheek and wipes away some concealer revealing some dark heavy cracks like tattoed on their skin. He could already tell it's covering them from head to toe with how heavy it looks.
Silver stares...he couldn't muster a word...Allergic to magic?...what how?...but-....
"yeah...i'm sorry. It's none of your fault, I promise. I love hanging out with you and everybody else Malleus, Lilia, Sebek, Ace and Deuce and all of them!" They said.
Silver could tell they were trying to keep a brave face for him...and it hurts...he should have said it sooner...he should have done more with them...he should have notice something was wrong and found a cure immediately...but it's all too late. He couldn't utter a word...his face remain stiff and his heart felt as if it's being squeezed the life out of it.
'It hurts' he thought. 'They must be hurting really badly and I couldn't do a thing' he thought once more as he unclenches and clenches his fist his head hanging low and thank seven he is sitting down if not he might have stumbled and fell.
"Don't be down Silver...I really don't blame any of you..Not you, Malleus, our friends who overblotted, or anyone else. It's my choice to remain close with you guys...I love hanging out with you all and most especially I love you." They said as they cup his cheeks, their eyes gets watery and it wavers as it stares at his.
"I don't want you gone..."
"I don't wanna leave either"
"How long....how longer do you think you'll last" he managed to say his chest felt so stuffy and it's so hard to breath but he tries...he tries so hard to keep a straight face to not worry them and hurt them further.
"...not so longer than several more minutes" they hesitantly said as they leaned their head on his chest.
They stayed silent for a while with Silver hugging them in his arms, his head hanging low on their shoulder nuzzled on their neck.
"Will you kiss me?" They said their hand digging on his silvery locks.
"Yes" He answers back with no hesitation as he leans away for a bit and stares at their eyes longingly.
He presses his lips on theirs, he felt them gasp their body stiffen for a moment before relaxing. They kiss and it felt like time stopped and everything around them disappears. Silver watches them as their eyes flutter shut as their body shivers with delight as he deepens the kiss.
It felt as if it was just the two of them their fingers laced together while his other hand wrapped around their waist and theirs on the back of his head pulling him closer desperately as if their life depends on him. If only it was then maybe they would have lived longer.
The kiss lasted for about a minute...before he felt their body go cold and the hand holding onto him goes limp.
He kisses them back awaiting for their response. None.
He kisses them again and squeezes their hand pulling them closer, yet they didn't answer back.
Ah, it looks like he can't keep his poker face on anymore. Tears gently falling as he held their corpses that slowly turns into dust, no more was the person he fell in love with. No more was their laughter, their playful bantering, their voice... it so quiet now.
"It feels so simple... loving you, always..."
"It feels so painful... I hate it so much."
Love is such a lovely thing...so mysterious, so sudden...but sadly not all love ends with a happy ending...it can really really hurt sometimes....
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bleachbleachbleach · 10 months
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For the Fanfic Writing Meme: 22, 23, and 25. Thanks!
Fic Writing Meme
Oh man, these ones were super challenging but very thought-provoking on my end!!
22. Do you know how your fic will end before you start writing?
I am not by nature a linear or plot-driven person, and am very happy just kind of. Exploring. Rhizomatically. XDD Which can be difficult when it comes to writing because I feel like I don’t have very much reflex for thinking, "I need to know what happens next!" Instead I’m like, oh, would it be beneficial to this story if there were any sense of suspense or destination? It would??
In the plot sense, I feel like usually it’s not surprising to me or the reader where the fic ends; it just slots into whatever comes next in the canon. In the sense of where a character ends up at the end of a story, I feel like I usually have a proposition for where I think they’ll end up, or an image I'd like to end on. But I try not to nail it down because I believe in writing as exploration, and if I’m too rigid about where something’s going, too early, it ends up feeling canned, or over-directed. So at best I have a suggestion of an ending, and whether it stays the ending really depends on how the character(s) end up feeling about it as the scenes develop.
23. How do you choose where to end a chapter (if you have multi-chapter works)?
When I was working on the Timey Wimey Train chapters of the Train Fic, their shape changed a LOT from draft to draft, and some of it related to content but a lot of it related to where the chapter breaks were going to fall. There were some iterations that left off on cliffhangers (oh look! suspense!) but I’d look at them and be like, LOL that’s dumb as hell. Cheap thrills! An episode teaser during Sweeps! In that particular instance, when I was choosing where the breaks would happen, the main things I was making choices about were things like, Does this break function as an effective suspense builder or red herring, or is it a disingenuous act? Is this a good faith deception, or is it not? Is any deception of any flavor actually beneficial here? (No.)
My impulse is to tell a full story in a chapter—to have thematic or narrative threads that build over the course of a chapter and reach a satisfying node (landing pad, even if not endpoint) by the end. But then I remind myself that a chapter is not a full story, and my trying to treat it as such goes right back to that sense of a thing being over-directed. My reminder to myself is that what I really want is a chapter that tells almost a full story—there’s some kind of narrative satisfaction; a sense that the ending is someplace different than the beginning; but I don’t actually want it to come full circle, or resolve, or answer more things than it asks.
25. Have you ever upset yourself with your own writing?
In the sense of like, dead dove-type things, there’s nothing that’s going to upset or bother me in that regard. I’m a big fan of being upset my media—things that can engender in my things other than 'happy' or 'sad'; I love things that make me feel characters' frustration, disgust, other forms of upset. So when if I’m upset about media it’s probably on purpose and I’m happy about it.
I’ve DEFINITELY felt bad about things I’ve written, because X happened, or because Y chose to do Z. And I’ll be like, wah, I’m sorry!! But either I can be like, but that is the story as it’s meant to be, and you know it, Character Y. Or I work on it until I end up as close to that feeling as possible.
The fic where I’ve felt that battle most strongly wasn’t for Bleach, but involved child abuse by someone who wasn’t ill-intentioned or villainous but under no circumstances should have been left with anyone’s children, and it’s kind of hard to say "well this is how it’s MEANT TO BE." Maybe it’s more of a "you know this happened, Character Y. You do."
For Bleach, it wasn’t upsetting so much as deeply uncomfortable, but the two sentences in the Train Fic where Hinamori’s like, well, Hitsugaya has a good memory and a gift for extrapolation and if he wanted to imagine her naked body he probably would not struggle to do so, but that she didn’t think he did—I was like WOW WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW MUCH I HAVE NO DESIRE TO THINK ABOUT THAT LOL. Which was maybe an instance of narrator Hinamori telling *me* this is my story as it’s meant to be and you know it. XDDD
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|| I really am so sorry that I'm not around much... I'm keeping up with my drafts (even if my queue is posting slower than usual) but I miss being on the dash all the time and goofing off with you guys!! But this class has been keeping me SUPER busy, plus it's the holidays and I've been busy with my family, as you guys already know XDD
I'll be gone on a family trip for the next few days, which means I probably won't be on the dash at all, but I'll be sure to keep the queue going with replies and asks. After I get back, and after I do the assignments that are right after that, I'll have a week to be chill and hang out here!!
Remind me NEVER to take a winter mini course EVER again....... =~=
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crownshattered-a · 3 years
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|| i only have two (2) songs that fit kh kira but im vibing so hard to them KJDSHSHKHSDKJ
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yatsugareboyf · 3 years
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So I was think that s/O has an ability that Randomly activates and it's basically being lucky or things that are really slim happen. Like an enemys gun would go jammned or they slipwhen something was gonna kill them I think it will be really funny for chuuy, akutagawa and dazai and they are like "how are you even alive?! " XDD
omg thats funny okok sorry i havent been active this has been in my drafts for ages here u go
hcs for akutagawa, chuuya, and dazai with a sporadic luck ability! s/o
akutagawa ryuunosuke
sometimes you genuinely scare him
like when you're out on a date and a glass of water was about to spill on you when it stayed on the tray the waiter was holding
he knows that you're unconsciously doing it and its not something you cant control, but oh boy is he scared
especially when it comes to you being hurt
a time came when you were a hostage of an enemy organization of the port mafia when the mafia came to save you and say fuck you to the enemy along the way
and you were as good as dead when your captor held a gun to your head, the same gun that killed the other hostages
and your captor did just that, shoot you
but you're not dead
"how??"
tries to shoot you again, but there's no bullets left.
the bullet that was previously shot had missed you by a hair's width, merely scratching your cheek when it passed by
aku didnt miss a single beat and killed your captor before rushing towards you, pushing the now dead captor away
“are you okay? did he hurt you?”
"im fine :D”
hes just always gaping at how ur still alive
and hes lowkey grateful that you are
but since its purely on instinct or random, it doesnt happen when you want it to sometimes
"oh FUCK OFF MY BOOK FELL IN THE POOL"
"whyd you bring your book to the pool, dumbass?"
"... i thought it would be safe."
nakahara chuuya
HE HATES IT SOMETIMES LIKE GODODOOD
he wants to be all romantic and catch you when you trip but you end up getting back ur balance and hes the one falling down like a fool
idiot
but hes glad you're safe somehow
like, you were fighting w him and he throws his knife to an enemy when you appeared in the path of the knife and he was like "Y/N GET OUT OF THE WAY" but the knife swerved the other way and into the leg of the enemy
"what the FUCK"
"idk either"
and sometimes its like
"oh my god baby i forgot my phone at home"
"wtf chuuya maybe its just in your pockets"
"i did check and its not there!"
"well check it again! we went all this way!"
"ITS NOT HERE"
then you pull out his phone - was that there the whole time? - out of his pocket
"THEN WHAT'S THIS CHUUYA."
"oh"
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA THATS SO FUNNTN TO MEMEMMEMRMRM
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toujoursmiraculous · 3 years
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Thoughts and Reaction to OPTIGAMI!!
I have never been so nervous and scream so much during an episode of this show before. And if you know me, that's saying something. Gabriel and Nathalie are getting seriously scary. Their plans are getting much more convoluted and are getting closer and closer to actually succeeding. And because of this, Alya's involvement is a lot more important now because there's no way Chat Noir and Ladybug would have managed it without her. Let's be real, the reason they chose Nino as their target was because Gabriel's still bitter about Adrien and Nino being friends after Bubbler. Awww all the Kwami's are so cute, wanting to go along. Trixx being like, oh well I have an owner so I can go! And Marinette being adamantly against it. It was at this moment I knew, Alya's getting that Miraculous permanently. But I didn't know if it'd be in this episode or not, so I didn't get too excited yet. But Trixx and Alya's bond is something I really like and want to see more of. Nino and Alya's little high-five/handshake is so cute I can't help but smile every time. x3
Marinette's freak-out about getting in the elevator. Luka's got a soft look on his face. Kagami's like "why are you like this" Max's just confused at what's going on AND THEN THERE'S ADRIEN WITH THE SOFTEST LOOK When you realize that Marinette adoringly (and appeared like she wishes she could have that, too) watching Alya and Nino do their little high-five/handshake is what saved everything in the end.....😬Cutting it really close. I thought Alec got trapped by Hawk Moth and that that's why he didn't show up. Who knew he was playing video games in a bathroom stall instead of doing his job lol. Lesson learned, I hope. xD I'm just surprised Hawk Moth's in the bathroom instead of his lair. He could do the same thing from home. 😂 I'm not a fan of Audrey, but that was really cold. The exchange between Marinette and Alya during an akuma attack is what I've been waiting for since Gang of Secrets. Adrien being wonderful and protecting Chloe, which could've messed up everything had Kagami not saved him. It's so sweet that despite what happened between them, she still risks herself to save him. "Plagg-" Marinette comes bursting into the elevator, looking in her bag "Tikk..iii!" OOF So I screamed, a lot. And laughed hysterically 😂 All Marinette had to do was run in facing the other way and she'd see Plagg and it'd be all over. All that had to happen was for her to run in a second or two later. All that had to happen was she noticed Adrien a second or two too late. But Adrien heard her say "Tikk...iii" in an attempt to cover herself. Remember, he's always had suspicion of Marinette being Ladybug and came to the conclusion easily enough. Kwamibuster did divert his attention away from it a bit, but Chat Blanc took place after and he didn't hesitate to think otherwise. Aww poor Zoe :c She's part of the "Chloe's used me as a human shield" club. (((Everything after this point, I had to completely redo because tumblr decided to suck and wouldn't allow me to post my message due to an "error" (which has never happened to me before), then wouldn't let me save it as a draft. Then when I went to copy it all, somehow everything got eaten and it wouldn't allow me to undo to bring it back 😭 Goodbye an hour and a half of my time. And another hour and a half redoing it all. So if I happen to leave anything big out, I'm so sorry. My luck has just been extremely awful lately.))) You can take the Miraculous away from the kid, but you can't take the Miraculous out of the kid. Max and Luka showing their hero sides while not suited up is so nice. Loving the Oblivio parallel! Marinette says softly, "I'm sure Chat Noir will save us." While I know she's Ladybug and knows Ladybug won't show up to save them, he doesn't know that. Her response of Chat Noir will come save them, shows that she has confidence in him. Even if Adrien knows Chat Noir won't show up, that's such a sweet thing for her to say and I hope he noticed that. Marinette: "I'M STUCK IN THE ELEVATOR" Alya: "Ohhh? With
Adrien?" Marinette: how did she know? "Yeeeeees!" Alya: oh wait this is really bad Adrien: "I'm stuck in the elevator with Marinette!" Nino: "How cool! Adrien and Marinette are stuck together in the elevator!" Alya: "Haha yeah so cool and not problematic at all!" I love this entire scene. Alya teasing Marinette but then being like oh shoot this is seriously bad. Nino being totally oblivious to it all and thinking that it's good news to get their friends closer. And Adrien's just like, I'm not going to ask for help, I'm just informing my friend I'm stuck in an elevator with my just a friend. xDD And that kiss on the cheek from Alya was adooorable! Emergency phone for the Kwami's is such a good idea. But yeah, if they all screamed "Hello?!" in my ear, I'd be chucking my phone across the room too. Adrien's like, "who's that? That sounded like a lot of people.: "I called the fire department." OK. Yes, because you tell the fire department not to fly but to ride a horse to come rescue you when you're in a skyscraper. And repeat it again "Understood, firefighters? Ride in on a horse." Adrien's over in the corner like what the heck? You also, to firefighters, totally yell, "No, no, not prehistory!" and then sheepishly grin at the person you're with. Totally not sus and makes absolutely perfect sense! And then here's the part that has me going ??? Adrien saw Optigami's eyes on the wall, immediately alerts her to that and shushes her. Now, they're hiding from an akuma, but the thing sees them. There's no hiding from it regardless of what's said. So why be quiet? And yet, he's shushing her which convinces her to hang up. Had she continued trying to talk to them, Nathalie might've caught on to there being something up. Adrien's in Chat Noir mode here, as if what she's saying could expose their identities to Hawk Moth. That intense look he gives her after the fact too really shows that, he's not messing around. They also were both just about to tell the other their identities, them being extremely close to each other to do so. They came so close! So what's going on here, exactly? Adrien's come to the conclusion Ladybug is Marinette before. In Chat Blanc, after Kwamibuster showed him supposedly that LB and Marinette are different people, he didn't hesitate to think that Ladybug was Marinette. I don't think he's ever let that possibility go. And the events in the elevator where she started calling for Tikki, and her nonsensical comments over the phone that'd be something Ladybug does, may really have him leaning in that direction. Also, so very sus again that once Optigami went away, they both were like "Oh it was nothing" "I was only wondering what that strange eye thing was." Yeah, that's why you guys sounded nervous like you had something important to say and got in each other's faces! :D It's also interesting, because whenever Marinette and Adrien are in a situation together, Adrien almost always is the one that takes hold of the situation and is more aware of his surroundings over Marinette. xD This man over here just eagerly eliminating children. x.x Like a lot of things in this show, if Alya had just answered that phone call from Nino, events may have played out completely differently! o.o There goes the Eiffel Tower again xD It never not gets blown up, knocked over, or teleported. LOL it's so funny to me, and also such a yikes moment, that while Alya rushed over to Marinette's, got the Miraculous, teleported back, found "Nino" and gave him the Miraculous, then teleported into the elevator, Ladybug and Chat Noir's civilian selves are just trapped in that elevator, awkwardly, and all alone. Likely deep in thought feeling guilty they're powerless to do anything without exposing their identities. xD But at least they're both brooding over the same thing and probably couldn't care less if the other one talks or not, nor noticing enough that the other's really quiet. XD And the way they both reacted to the portal being opened in the elevator. Cautious, but then Adrien puts his hand on Marinette's back and kind of has
her in a position where he can pull her back to him and protect her. Which is a very different kind of protection than he's offered to others, Chloe earlier in this episode being a very good example. Just a friend? Yeeaah. The fact that in every single episode that has Marinette and Adrien interact this season, there's something there, and it's just a matter of time before it's addressed. A bit sad that we didn't get actual Carapace in this episode, but I'm hoping we get him in later eps! MAJOR OOOF A train with people in it underwater, a skyscraper with probably a lot of people in it burning in a volcano, cars, what looks to be the building they were filming the music video in Frightningale, and the Arc de Triomphe on the moon. Yeah I'm seeing where things are going now with this. I'm going to write a post addressing some of these things a bit later. Ladybug in a ponytail is the prettiest hairstyle imo. Chat Noir rushes in, sees Ladybug, Carapace, and Rena Rouge all together, first wondering how they all got in "Hello, Chat Noir" there went any of his thoughts he may have had about it lol... and feels disappointed. "Sorry! I would have got you, if I knew your secret identity." Whoa hold up. Ladybug, so forwardly talking about knowing his secret identity? o.O I smell foreshadowing. "As I always say, m'lady. To know me means to love me." "Then I'll think about it." as she smirks and giggles. Guys. She's being serious. 😍😍😍 I admit, I wish we could know what she was going to talk to Chat Noir about after everything, since she thought the situation was taken care of and asked him to wait there for her. She obviously had something she wanted to talk with him about. And thank you Marinette's observation skills for knowing that's not the real Nino! But poor Alya, so horrified like that... I bet she's thinking both "What have I done? I just gave a Miraculous away to Hawk Moth essentially." and "How is it that I couldn't recognize that wasn't my boyfriend?" On the latter, Chat Noir's made that error several times as well. Hawk Moth just really sucks to do that kind of thing to these kids. Real Nino's here to comfort Alya. Doesn't even have to say a word, just gives her a hug. I absolutely adore this. They're so perfect together. ;-; "It (Lucky Charm) always shows me the right way, but this time I was shortly led astray." "Hmm." Hmm? What the heck does that mean? More foreshadowing?? What's going to happen next omg. Yes, Marinette needs someone out there who can replace her if something happens. And I know so many people are like, oh no, that should be Chat! But just think about it. Today, Chat Noir and Ladybug were trapped in an elevator in a situation where they were powerless. They came extremely close to needing to transform with Hawk Moth watching. Had Hawk Moth not been Adrien's dad and let him be, they would've transformed and fought, no doubt. A lot of things could happen, and Ladybug and Chat Noir are always in the thick of things. We've seen one or both of them become unavailable many times. It's good that someone else is their safety net. You may see Alya as just Ladybug's but she's also Chat's too. I screamed and cheered so loud when Alya got her Miraculous to hold onto! I've wanted this for sooo long now! ;-; Okay ew, the way the music went from happy and sweet to creepy when Gabriel and Nathalie were on screen. 😬 Watch: Gabriel, in his plot to try to get to know more about Alya, will have Adrien through a party or have some friends get together at his house which will likely include Nino and Marinette as well, and have him use his own son to try to get what he wants without Adrien suspecting a thing, even thinking his father's giving him more freedom and more of a normal life. How sick. x.x This was a seriously good episode! I'm very excited to see how this all plays out, because things are getting seriously intense in many different ways! Honestly, my original write up of this post was much better but I lost it all. Which makes me very sad and disappointed, but it can't be undone. :c So
hopefully this was enjoyable anyway! I'll be writing a few posts that are more in-depth about some of the events that happened in recent episodes, including Chloe's character and situation, Adrien's feelings for Marinette, Adrien/Chat's situation with Ladybug, etc that are too specific and detailed to write in a thoughts and reactions post, so be on the look out for those! c:
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luci-cunt · 4 years
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hola my dear unholy defiler!! for the fanfic title thing: “old heartbreaks and new tattoos” (bc i’m incapable of choosing titles without stealing lyrics, oops :/ )
Bonjour my fondly defiled god! FANTASTIC fic title i love you
k so this one HAS to have just a lliiiiiitttttllleee biiiitttt of angst but I’m still sticking with AFtG and Andreil cuz, y’all I’m a slut for it leave me alone XDD (you can request other pairings if you want tho XD I’m just uncreative XDD)
let’s seee.... we’ll start with a scene set--
So, you’ve got Neil-- 18, living with his dad, who in this timeline killed his mom and Neil never got out. Neil’s stuck, no way of getting out, BUT opportunity strikes in the form of a war
YES you read that right it’s 1940 babeeeyyyy
Neil sneaks out, signs up--almost gets turned down cuz he’s hella tiny but manages to convince the recruiter to let him anyways for the sake of “patriotism” 
Neil’s plan is to serve for a while in France, out of the way of his father and get his feet under him before deserting and booking it to like, idk, somewhere else in Europe. 
Meanwhile: Andrew is being tossed around foster care, on a random turn of luck he bumps into Aaron who’s oddly literally identical. He finds out they’re brothers/ the whole Tilda situation/ blah blah, but before he has the chance to move in or anything the draft hits and Aaron’s the one hit with it. 
He’s supposed to get shipped out to France, but he’s still all hoped up on drugs and Andrew has seen his fair share of returning “war heros” and he realizes Aaron going to France is a death sentince
So he goes for him. 
He takes Aaron’s name/ identity Mulan style and goes as Aaron Minyard into the war
(back at home Aaron only realizes what’s happened AFTER Andrew’s gone and by this point he can’t do shit so he has to go into hiding)
And--big shocker--Neil and Andrew are deployed to the same front
Neil’s been there for a bit longer by the time Andrew shows up, but Andrew clocks his intentions to desert REAL QUICK
instead of outing him tho--he asks to come with
He doesn’t give a single fuck about the war, he just wanted to keep Aaron out of trouble
Neil doesn’t trust him, but Andrew says if Neil leaves him behind he’ll just tell the commander what happened and Neil can’t have that so fuckin fine I guess this bitch is coming
They realize they can’t leave just yet when they come under mortar fire that pins them down for a week straight. 
(ayeee bonding week~ what’s better to bond over than the constant fear of death ~~~~~~~~)
They bond with some cigarettes andrew brought, and Neil takes one and says he’ll only light it when they’re free of the warfront and he can properly enjoy it.
Then the mortar fire lets up and they’re charging out of their trench for the enemy and everything’s a rush
Neil manages to lose Andrew and he flips his lid
Turns out Andrew’s fine--or--kinda. he got hit with a stray grenade and his leg’s almost totally fucked. 
Neil gets him to safety (back to the abandoned trench they were in before) patches him up as best he can, leaves him with a gun, and tells him not to move while he goes to get help
Bs happens, Neil gets help, Andrew ends up fine but now he’s gotta get carted away on medical leave. 
Turns out tho his leg is fucked, so he gets honorably discharged and sent “home” 
He trades identies back with Aaron, makes a big deal of the long lost twin Andrew Minyard coming home after seeing a picture of his brother getting honored in the paper and waits. 
He’s worried about Neil, and even MORE worried when, not a month later, he gets a guy on his front step telling Aaron that Nathaniel Wesninski was captured and taken as a prisoner of war. The camp he was at was bombed--there were no survivors, and he left this for you. 
it’s the cigarette, taped to a ragged looking postcard with a cheesy picture of Palm Springs on it. The post card is blank. 
Well fuck. 
Andrew is fucked, he locks himself in his room for the day, drinks himself dumb and doesn’t talk for three days. 
At the end of the third he leaves the house, and when he comes back he’s got a new tattoo--it’s simple, just a black-and-white, unlit cigarette right over the pulse point on his neck. 
He doesn’t explain it, doesn’t say anything, but he goes on the back porch and stares at the cigarette that came with the postcard, and, after a moment, lights up. 
Three weeks later things aren’t doing well but he’s managing. 
He’s leaving the gym one day, reeking and tired, when he spots someone leaning against his car. 
The man grins up at him, and says “can I bum a cigarette?” 
!!! this got alsdkdjf;laksdj a little involved XDD sorry  I got into it XD 
send me a fic title and I’ll say how I’d write it out!
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dynadratina · 3 years
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10 Signs You’re Reading a Dyna Fic
Thanks to @homesteadchronicles for tagging me!
1. It’s long
As much as it irks me sometimes, I tend to write lengthy stuff. If it’s a one-shot, it’s long. If it’s a chaptered fic, you can bet I’ll pass the 100,000 word mark before the second act is even over.
Why does that happen? I have no idea >.< My story ideas always just tend to blow up, even if I start with the simplest concept, like “Wouldn’t it be cool if Character X had a job as Y?” My brain always likes adding more details, whether it’s for worldbuilding or for new situations the characters can get into.
2. It has an ensemble cast
As much as I admire stories with a single compelling protagonist, what I like even more is situating a protagonist into a web of other characters and defining their story by how those other characters’ on- or offscreen journeys interact with theirs.
In that sense I conceive some (but not all) of my stories as glimpses into a little community, where all main and side characters are affected by each other and have some sort of arc to complete, however small.
3. It hasn’t been updated in a while
I don’t like doing this either, I swear! But it’s a given fact that ever since I started college and entered a writing-heavy field, my energy for writing stories has thinned out. In 99% of cases it’s most definitely not because I’ve lost interest or given up. Rather it’s everything to do with my energy levels. Usually I have no idea when I’m going to be both free and in a mental capacity to write, so I don’t bother making a writing schedule I can’t keep. I just snatch those moments when they come by and start typing, first getting down the main ideas and leaving the editing and polishing for later.
Then of course I have to wait till that ‘later’ comes around... *shifty eyes*
4. Sentences are long and have semicolons
This is more the case for my old writing, but for a long time I had a tendency to write really complex sentences. Now when I look back on them, my head explodes and I manage to find dozens of ways of making things simpler and more pleasant to read.
I also use semicolons. I am sorry xDD Academic writing does that to you. Honestly I have no idea what else to do? Make the sentences shorter? Or just use a comma???
5. It’s biggest theme is either friendship or found family
Because those two are my absolute favorites :3 Even in my romance-focused stories, I like to describe how the characters’ interpersonal relationships change as a whole and how their experiences led them to a new sense of belonging. Stories about a character choosing to surround themselves with people who are better for them, or having to move on from people who aren’t, or deal with broken family/friendship bonds, are some of the most compelling to me because they reflect very real aspects of life.
6. Worldbuilding goes down to the mundane details
I love, love, love describing boring things. How the main character had to apply for their job, how they pay the bills, how a particular city is run. If it’s a story involving magic or spirituality, you can bet I’ll go into the nitty-gritty details of how that magic works, or at least how a particular user experiences it. Those details are like glitter to me - don’t go over the top, but sprinkle them here and there and your world’s logic and structure will shine.
7. It has a happy ending, or at least a bittersweet one
I don’t like ripping readers’ hearts in two ;; It’s been done to me enough! I might start out a draft with a character tragically dying, then eventually figure out a way for them to live and for the story to be five times better for it.
Same with endings. I might be cynical when I start a story and go ‘Yeah, this’ll end with them losing everything and having to realize how wrong they were, ha-ha’, then in the final draft I’ll inject a teensy bit more hope into it. Basically I always want to make sure that my main characters are in a better position at the end of the story than at the beginning. And however that ‘better’ might look, I’ll write it so that the reader can agree and believe that this is the case.
8. It has an outrageous premise
I write for fun, so... why not have fun? I’ll often get an idea that seems totally crazy to me, but it’s either so funny or entertaining that I have to write it. So I’ll take it absolutely seriously and find a way to make it work.
9. Characters feel their limits
A story’s no fun without conflict, and I love describing exactly what gets in my characters’ way and how. If I’m writing a character who’s a professional fighter, I’ll put them in a situation where they’re either partially incapacitated or up against someone who’s just as good as they are. I’ll have a stoic, self-reliant character who sails for a living suffer from debilitating seasickness, which makes for embarrassing situations and necessitates the help of his friend. I’ll have characters experience things that upset them and explore the ramifications of that event all throughout the story.
Which brings me to my last point...
10. Cause-and-effect stretch from the very first page to the last
If a character sprains their ankle when falling down in the first chapter, it will still be hurting in the second. Maybe even the third. Then in the second act, I’ll show them being extra observant of their surroundings and making sure they don’t fall again. Then in the final act they’ll defeat the villain by making them fall down in the exact same way. (Okay, this is oversimplifying, but you get my point).
Basically I’m a firm believer in Chekhov’s Gun. Only it’s not just one gun, it’s as many objects/events from the early point of the story as possible.
Tagging @bayalexison and anybody else who wants to do this! (No pressure, of course.) I'd love to see people’s answers!
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lemonadebloodsworld · 4 years
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Tw: ED (??), sh, depression, suicidal thoughts, abuse (??)
So yeah,
It feels weird to come back here even if it's a more recent account. The first time I made a tumblr account was when I was 13 and back then I was already really depressed because of trauma, my relationship with my parents and the fact that they were always saying that I faked being depressed and was just being dramatic and other shitty stuff.
Back then they thought I was a gay girl too but yeah I'm a bi trans boy and it makes everything so damn harder because everytime I try to talk about my mental health my mom just says that it's JUST because I'm trans and I should just be patient and wait to be 18 to start a transition while yes, dysphoria and the fact that my family isn't really supportive make me sad but my mental health has been getting so damn bad.
I've never really been a happy child, my parents divorced when I was 3-4, my mom found my stepdad who has always been an asshole to me and my little brother because we are not his "real" kids and would always yell at us and hit my brother and my mom has always been depressive and mentally ill (Ed, depression and trauma) so she is scared of him ig, anyways, she just never said anything about it, even when she noticed that we were really scared of him.
My bio father was supposed to take us at his place every weekend but after a year he stopped coming and dissappeared for 9 years. At the same time I started to get bullied at school by older kids and some kids in my class and I didn't have any friends because it was a shame for them to be friend with me.
At 11, I have been sexually assaulted by an older kid (he was 15 or something) leaving me with trauma.
At 12 I changed school and found friends, I was so unused to it and ashamed of my past that I spent my time lying to them so they'll like me and think I'm cool, I also started to smoke and drink in secret because I felt so much pain and the intrusive thoughts started to get loud.
At 13 my bio dad came back in my life because he owed a lot of money to my mom and wanted to use us to make my mom feel bad about it. I started self-harming lightly and depression started to settle in but I wasn't really understanding what was going on because the "hypomanic" phases and intrusive thoughts were getting more present causing me to lose the only friends I had and yeah I just didn't understand what the hell was going on. I tried to talk about my mental health to my parents but they told me that I was being dramatic and it's a normal thing to feel bad because I was an adolescent and questioning my identity (I came out as a lesbian back at this time) and decided to just punish me and take my phone away because I was spending too much time alone in my room and didn't do the chores.
At 14 I started to have a lot of anxiety and panic attacks while being in depressive episodes, I started an ed (feeling shameful for eating even a little amount of anything and purging, I don't want to give it any name because I have been diagnosed and yeah), I also began to self-harm more and deeper (still not bad, I don't want to lie for that type of stuff xd), I broke down one day and told everything to my parents (sh, depressive tendencies, smoke, suicidal thoughts etc) and once again they were like "yeah nah it can't be that bad, you just lie to have attention and have an excuse to stay in your room and just being stupid" but my mom saw my arms and thights and then was okay for me to go see a psychologist. So for a year I had the opportunity to talk with a professional who was really amazing, she prescribed me light sleep pills because of my insomnia while in depressive episodes and "hypomanic" (don't have a diagnosis but I have all the symptoms but then again I don't want to self diagnose because it could be wrong and be something else) ones but my mom always refused to give them to me. At the end of the year she wanted an appointment with my mom to talk about my mental health and the importance for me to go see a therapist to be diagnosed (bipolar disorder 2 (she was still questioning it) , anxiety disorder and depression or whatever, she just wanted me to have the help I needed) but then again my mom said no because I was surely just faking it all and I just had to make efforts to be happy. I was so tired of everything and just wanted to feel better so I started to steal my mom depression medication (mostly Xanax and calming pills).
At 15 I met my first serious girlfriend, I fell in love so hard with her and for the first month she really helped me to stop sh, pills, drinking and everything was great until she started to verbally abuse me using my dysphoria and fragile subjects I told her about (she would say that I'm annoying and selfish for always feeling bad and that u was too sensitive and not a real boy if I cried) once I wasn't agreeing with her, slap and hit me if I said something she wasn't okay with or when I would have anxiety attacks or talk to her about my suicidal thoughts while in depressive episodes and yeah she used me like if I was a dog, if she wanted something or think in some way I would have to give her or do whatever she wanted or I would get threatened, insulted or ignored for a long time or other icky stuff. After 6 months of making me feel guilty for not letting her touch me in a sexual way she one day decided to start taking advantage of me while I wasn't in the appropriate head space or without my consent and then making fun of my body and making comments about the way I look. She in fact, made me really anxious and feel bad and it made me start to binge eat, at the end of the year my weight was 78 kg, before our relationship I was 59 kg, people noticed it but just told me to stop eating and go on a diet.
At 17 (this year) I finally broke up even if she asked me to do it because she didn't want to be seen as the mean one for letting me while I was clearly depressed. It was hard but I could finally meet new people or get back with people she didn't wanted me to talk to (especially my amazing actual partner and my bestfriend) who helped me a lot realizing all the shit she did to me and they have been amazing at making me feel loved and cared for and to be honest I don't think I would be there if they weren't in my life right now.
Now my mental health is just fucked. Like I said when I broke up with my abusive ex I had gained almost 20 kg and it reminded me all the bully I've been through as a kid (they most of the time used the fact I was overweight to bully me) so I started to starve myself or purge if I felt like I ate too much (I started to count calories) I was at 78 kg at the start and in 2 weeks I was at 65kg, it was during quarantine so i didn't have any friend or people noticing what I was doing or see me fainting. I started to drink almost everyday and smoke a lot.
In June I got in a relationship with my actual partner and to be honest it's the only good point I can find this year. They (genderfluid) are an angel and I just don't know what I would do without them, they help me a lot even if they are struggling with mental illness themself and anyone has ever cared for me and made me feel so loved before. Today it's been 4 months officially and it makes me feel happy and I just want it to never stop. My mental health is at its worst, I've been having a lot of intrusive thoughts, i have a self destructive comportement, in September I started to sh again (a lot deeper) after 2 years clean, I often call them in the middle of the night (well in the middle of the day for them cause I'm in Belgium and they are in Texas) because of really bad dreams and suicidal thoughts, I am bullied and made fun of by the people in my class for being trans and having a different style (alt-grunge), I barely eat or purge if I try to have a meal, I have these "hypomanic" phases that make me getting really angry at nothing and do a lot of stupid shit because I feel invincible and better than anyone, almost godly and yet they never made me feel like I was a burden or like I should just stfu or like I was being dramatic and they are actually the first person believing me and not saying I fake everything.
I am struggling and it becomes so damn hard to live but I will do my best not to give up and just keep on fighting for them and maybe try to recover and seek for help when I turn 18. I already try to make little steps and stop self harming, drinking too much energy drink XDD so yeah let's just try and be positive I guess.
Sorry its actually so damn long hhh I don't even know if i will post It one day or keep it as a draft eheh I hate venting
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nezumiko · 4 years
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Hey Nezu. I was just wondering how you're doing these days. I'm so sorry about this quarantine thing. I know this is worse for you than for a lot of us. I'm praying for all of your safety and well being. I hope you have a really nice day today and that the rest of this quarantine period goes smoothly.. Please don't feel obligated to respond to this ask. I just wanted you to know that we're thinking of you and wishing you all the very best.
I swore I’d answered this, but I can’t find it. Maybe I typed up an answer and then forgot to hit publish? Anyway...
Thank you, Anon! I’m doing much better than I was in February and March. I don’t think I posted on here about this, but I was in the hospital with a myasthenia gravis flare from Feb 10 to March 8, and that, frankly, sucked. I was in an acute rehab place for the last three weeks, which is exactly the kind of place where COVID-19 was starting to blaze up. I talked my way into an early release, and I am so glad I did. That facility was hit hard in April.
I’ve been living in near-complete isolation since I came home. @saunterleftside and his girlfriend bring me groceries every week or so, and we talk outdoors for a few minutes, masked, at a safe 3 meters/9 feet apart when they deliver them, but that’s about it for in-person contact with anyone for me, outside of the person who cleans for me every two weeks (I stay in a separate part of the house while she’s here, and we both wear masks. And she used to do hospice nursing so understands infection control), and the nurses at my infusion center when I go for IVIG every three weeks. It’s a little lonely, but mostly I’m used to being alone and having all my friendships mediated through the computer.
I’ve been writing regularly with the @anbu-legacy crew, which is, as always, the bright spot of my week. Hanging out with my ferrets and rats. Playing Witcher 3. Watching Bleach—I was reading an enjoyable Bleach/Harry Potter crossover fic, There May Be Some Collateral Damage, and realized I’d never watched Bleach past the Rukia arc, so I started over, and it holds up so far! 
Like everyone else in quarantine, I’ve been cooking a bit more than usual. I made a couple of really good rice casseroles in the instant pot, which each fed me for a week, and small taco casserole that lasted all of three days because it was that good. Also banana bread, because my bananas were black and evidently baking banana bread is What People Do In Quarantine?
And I’m trying to get myself back into watercolor, and to improve my technique. I set up my small drafting table in my room. It’s meant to go downstairs in the room I’m going to make my office/studio, but currently that room is tragically in disarray, and the table is too heavy and awkward for me to get down the stairs on my own, so its in my bedroom for now. Might consider relocating it to the living room. But anyway, I painted two cards for Mother’s Day. One for my aunt and one for my sister-in-law. I still need to paint one for my stepmom. I realize she’ll be getting it late, but that’s how she’ll know it’s from me. XDD
So basically, I’m doing okay Still having some health issues, but that’s status normal for me. I really hope you’re doing well, too. Stay safe and well, friend. I’m still holding on to hope that a vaccine will be developed soon, and that life can settle into a new normal for us all.
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buchananbarnes1991 · 6 years
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How my Sergeant Barnes/Winter Soldier/ Post Hydra fell in love with Steve-- HC  [The In-depth  back story]
There's key points in Bucky and Steve's friendship and thus their possibility of a romantic relationship. How I see it. Some of it is canon and some of it that I've added in to fill in some plot holes. This is going to be a very long post but it is something I have been meaning to write for a while. Sorry in advance to anyone that is permanently mobile. heh.... ENJOY!
[Remember, this is all how I see it. I do not speak for all muns of Bucky Barnes that write the stucky ship threads. This is just my Bucky. :3]
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--Domi
Intro: In 1917, Bucky was born in Romania, lived there until he was eight. His father died in the war and his mother got scared of what would happen to her son's future. His mother remarried and moved to the states. 
First key point: Bucky ended up moving in next door to this young five year old blond haired, blue eyed boy named Steven Grant Rogers. [I like the idea of the three year age gap between them as it adds to Bucky being more protective of the Brooklyn punk, so Steve Rogers was born in 1920 unless a mun wants him born in 1918.]  He quickly felt protective of the younger boy and did what he could to earn his trust despite knowing very little to almost no English. The two of them began to teach one another how to speak each other's languages. Bucky learned English and exchange, he taught Steve Romanian. Which is why Bucky passes so well as being American born and doesn’t have a Romanian accent as an adult unless he speaks in Romanian.  He always looked out for the skinny punk from Brooklyn. Did his best to keep him out of trouble and keep bullies away from him. He fell in love with Steve the same year that Sarah passed away. Though he never felt it was safe to tell Steve as the time they grew up in, society found Homosexuality to be sinful and Bucky didn’t want to risk putting himself nor Steve in harm/being left to rot in jail/put to a death sentence. [1938] Their bond grew stronger. That was also within the same months that Bucky was drafted/Enlisted for the army. He didn't want to leave his family and best friend behind. But he knew he needed to protect those that he held close in his heart. So he swallowed his worries and attended boot camp training after white lying on his Enlistment [or draft] form about his nationality and birth place. Since he passed so well as American born thanks to Steve.  Second key point:  The year [1943 to early 1944] he spent in Hydra's prisoner camp with his fellow troops. He made a mistake as a Sergeant leader and his unit [the 107th] got captured and a lot of them killed. He was stubborn for while until he got sickly and that is when Hydra began experimenting on him.  He didn't know what was going on. He felt it was a dream almost when Steve pulled him from the unstable mind sweeper/possible genetic chemical injector that he had been strapped into. Steve was back in his life again. Steve was there, alive, for some reason Taller and stronger but still always confident.  As Hydra's camp was exploding and burning down. He was terrified while crossing the support beam that gave out under his feet once he got to the other side. He refused to leave his bestfriend and desired love interest behind. He would rather die than lose him at that point.  Third key point: Still protecting Steve on the train mission. He closed that door to keep Steve from having to deal with Enemies on both sides. [Obviously the train explosion and him falling to what he believed what would have been his death wasn't in the plan.]  He regretted closing that door as soon as he was holding on to the broken train edge.  Forth Key point: As the Winter Soldier [Named Cyron Oaza in my verse]. His mission is to kill Steve. But he can't bring himself to.  He could have easily killed him but hearing the pain and the prepared emotion to give up his life in the blond stranger's voice pulled that young long forgotten Sergeant back into his head.  He couldn't understand why he suddenly felt something for a man he didn't know other than his target. This is why he pulled him from the river and made sure he was alive before he rejected going back to Hydra.  Fifth key point: Going to the museum. He learned about who he used to be. James Buchanan Barnes. Sergeant Barnes. That cocky, overly confident man that Cyron/Winter Soldier was brain washed into hating. He also learned about Steven Grant Rogers. Bucky's best friend. Train jumping and taking sketchy flights that had weak metal detectors to Romania to hide from Hydra. One day he learns he has been framed for a mass murder bombing. He doesn't understand ,-- [he knows he wasn’t responsible for the bombing in Vienna. He was just paying his rent the day it had happened.] --  quickly retreating to his apartment to quite possibly move places again as his tiny shitty apartment was NOT his first free living place.  There's a man in his apartment. Captain America. Steve...He doesn't understand why or how he had found.. but he hears him out. Being informed that the German government is planning to capture him and not alive. Bucky/Cyron protects Steve yet again because he's remembering bits and pieces of the past.  Even if he didn’t want to admit to it in the apartment before the police had broken in. He was afraid to admit he could remember him. Worried that Steve would be ashamed of him even if the Winter Soldier wasn’t something he could control about himself.  The pain of the past. He’s not Bucky Barnes anymore, at least not the Bucky the world knew. As well, he’s not The Winter Soldier anymore. [Why I created Cyron Oaza. As I can see him not wanting to exactly be associated with the past because to him that means if he is Bucky, he made a good man do a lot of terrible things.]  Sixth Key Point: Trusting Steve after he is out of the Winter Soldier mind set that Zemo forced him into while he was being interrogated. A majority of his memories are back while some are still fuzzy. He remembers his bestfriend. The good times, the bad times, their strong bond. He’s himself again [in a way, still in that limo mental state of being somewhere between his old self and his assassin self.] Despite his mind still being a wreck.  He agrees to help take down the remaining Winter Soldiers in Slovakia and hopefully Zemo as well. Once Tony Stark hears and sees the tape from 1991--He’s terrified. Not only for his own safety as he regrets the past he couldn’t control but also Steve’s safety. Which is why he fights back. In an attempt to keep his bestfriend [Whom he just got back several hours ago] Alive. Fighting on Steve’s side, against Tony Stark until he ends up at the point of defeat when Tony blasts his bionic arm off. [Which was extremely painful to him,-- as in the apartment building battle when he stops himself from falling down the stairwell, grabbing the railing, he lets out a gutteral groan/yelp. His bionic arm is connected to his body, his muscles and nerves.-- but due to shock he doesn’t feel it right away. Silently in pain on the ground as he mentally accepts that it could very well be the end for him. Why he doesn’t get up to fight anymore.]
Bonus key points in regarding Wakandan Bucky which is still an AU verse to me as I personally do not feel comfortable portraying him yet because I don’t have enough of his personality to accurately write him.  1. He agrees to go under Cryogenic freeze as he doesn’t want to hurt anyone anymore. 2. When he is unfrozen, he has connections to Steve via skype calls and Steve visiting. [I think this is where they finally confess feelings for each other.] 3. Bucky’s mind is fixed up through Spiritual healing and time spent with Shuri.[The turning point where he is comfortable with being called Bucky Barnes again.] 4.He still loves science and Technology. 5. He’s taken on the name of White Wolf, the Wakandan children nick-named him and he accepts it as his new alias.  6. The reasoning behind the hug being so subtle/short is that Bucky and Steve wouldn’t be the type to blast their relationship out there for everyone to see. It’s personal to them. [More than likely, those that live in Wakanda know about it but have agreed to keep their romance a secret.] 7. He’s not shocked by the fact that another fight has to happen. He doesn’t exactly know how to feel about his new Vibranium arm that is detachable but knows he needs it and does become fond over the few hours he has it.  8. he loves Wakanda and considers it his home away from home, aka Brooklyn, New York. 
Well that was an incredibly long post. xDD I hope that those who ship with me read this. Also just those whom want to understand more of Bucky’s mind regarding his friendship and possible relationship with Steven. Please do not steal or [filters the next word purposely] rebagel this :P
Much love!! <3
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*Confession* Newt x reader
◘ geeky-wquestrian67 asked: 
Hello! Are your requests open? If so, I have an imagine request :3 The reader suffers from major anxiety and depression, and then Newt somehow finds out, and then it leads to Newt confessing his feelings to the reader and it’s so fluffy— >< I can’t xDD I love your page btw :3 Thanks, love!
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❤ Thanks, boo! I hope you enjoy!! ^_^
The intense waves of sadness and anxiety would come and go every day; taking you under and suffocating you until you were finally able to break the surface and find relief. 
Your long time friend, Newt Scamander, was unaware of your anxiety and depression since you hid it rather well. The smiles you plastered to your face and the way you’d pretend everything was alright.
Secretly, you felt as if your entire being was slowly being crushed. You loved Newt, both in a friend sort of way and in a more romantic way. The thought of him ever liking you back though was absurd and you’d push the thought away; telling yourself to be more reasonable and to realize he could do much better than you.
It was mid October and as you were relaxing on your couch in your apartment, an owl appeared at the window, a small envelope in it’s beak. Setting down your daily prophet, you gingerly opened the window and allowing the owl access. 
“What’s that?” Newt had emerged from his bedroom, running a hand through his curly red hair. You two shared the apartment together and often spent the weekends relaxing and doing whatever. Today while you were doing some reading he was working on his drafts for his book. 
“It’s a letter.” You replied as you slipped the folded paper out of the envelope. The scribbled words on the page made your heart race and your hands become sweaty. 
“Who is it from?” Appearing by your side, Newt peaked over and with a grin on his face, turned to you and said, “Guess we’re going to a party!”
Faking a smile back, you watched as the wizard grabbed a glass and filled it with water and making his way back to his room. You and Newt had been invited to one of his older brother, Theseus, parties. He was a very successful Auror and even a war hero. The letter was an invite to his engagement party. Of course you two had heard the news weeks ago and knew this was coming up but truthfully, you had forgotten.
Images of beautiful women began to play in your mind and you instantly felt the sting of pain as you realized how many women would be flocking to Newt’s side. He was handsome, adorable and the younger brother of the ever famous Theseus. 
Your breathing quickened as you made your way to your room and as you sat upon your bed, you began to cry. There was nothing you wanted more than to spend your life with Newt. But how could you if you knew that one day he would find a girl and fall in love and leave you? 
Your mind began shouting at you, reminding you of how you were and never would be good enough for Newt. You were nothing. A nobody. 
Just a girl who would ever amount to anything.
“You ready, Y/N?” Newt knocked gently on your bedroom as you stared at yourself in your full length mirror. You knew in your mind that Newt would compliment you the moment you walked out. He’d tell you how stunning you looked in your new dress and how it complimented your E/C eyes. 
It was all lies. Of course he’d never be mean to you. 
“A-almost.”
Giving you a few more minutes, Newt stepped away from the door and as you heard his footsteps fade, you let out a sigh and gave yourself one last look over. There was nothing more you could do and this was as good as it was going to get.
Suddenly, it hit you. Maybe you didn’t have to go and Newt would let you stay home? After all, did it really matter if you went? 
The idea seemed better to you than dragging yourself to an awful engagement party where you’d have to pretend to be happy. 
Deciding that you’d rather stay home, you slowly opened the door, peeking out. Newt was leaning up against the wall a few feet away, all dressed and ready to go. Oh, God, he looked handsome. Rarely did Newt ever wear dressy clothing like this and when he did, boy did you start to swoon.
“Ready to go?”
“Ummm…” You fiddled with your fingers as you fought to meet his eyes. “I was actually thinking I’d stay home…”
“What? Why?”
Crap. You didn’t think up an excuse. Panicking, you spat out the first thing that came to your mind.
“I don’t feel well.” You faked a cough and slumped your shoulders over a bit, standing straight made you look fine.
Furrowing his brows in concern, Newt stepped towards you and placed his hand to your forehead. 
“You don’t seem warm.” 
You fake coughed again.
Cocking his head to the side, Newt stared down at you and crossed his arms over her chest. The look of suspicion filled his eyes and you tried to hide your obvious nerves. 
“I-I’m just gonna go lay down…” Turning on your heels, you slipped them off and made your way towards your bed. Newt followed behind you, never uncrossing his arms. You laid down on your bed and let your head sink in to your pillow. 
“What’s going on, Y/N?”
The wizard was now leaning against your dresser and eyeing you suspiciously. 
“You’ve been fine all day. Why don’t you want to go?”
“I told you, Newt. I don’t feel well.”
“I don’t believe that.”
“Fine, you don’t have to.”
“Fine, I won’t.”
Ugh. Why wouldn’t he just go? 
Turning over on to your side, you stared at the wall and waited for he sound of Newt leaving your room. He never did.
Making his way over, Newt sat beside you, looking down at you and brushing his red curls from his eyes. He waited for your eyes to meet his but you just closed them. You knew you were acting childish but you didn’t care. 
“Y/N?” He rested a hand on your shoulder, gently caressing it with his thumb. “Talk to me.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Obviously there is. Come on, you know you can tell me anything.”
You wish his words rang true but they didn’t. You knew the moment you’d tell him your true feelings he’d laugh and walk out. 
“Come on…” Smiling and nudging you a bit, Newt leaned closer in, trying to get you to smile. He stopped when he noticed the tears fighting to emerge from your eyes. 
“Hey…” His smile faded and he instantly became serious. He began to rub your arm soothingly and as he watched the tears stream down your cheeks, he brushed them away with his other hand.
“Y/N, please…. tell me what’s going on.”
“I-I can’t.” You buried your face in your pillows as you cried. Newt watched you, feeling hopeless and at a loss of what to do. Patiently he waited until you came up for air. The wizard gently pulled you up, wrapping you in his arms and rubbing your back. 
“Hey, if you want to stay home, that’s fine. I can just let Theseus know we can’t make it. He’ll be fine.”
“No!” Pushing him back, you looked up at him with your red and teary eyes, “You have to go. It’s your brother…. he’d want you there.”
“I can’t go knowing you’re here alone and upset.”
“I’m fine, Newt. Really. I bet there will be lot’s a pretty girls there and you’ll have fun. Go. Don’t worry about me.”
Newt looked at you, confusion plastered across his freckled face. “P-pretty girls?” He said. “Y/N…. what?” The wizard struggled to find his words as you rubbed your eyes and pushed yourself out of his embrace. 
He frowned as he watched you turn over, your back now facing him. 
“Y/N, there won’t be any pretty girls there if the one I wanna see stays behind.”
Your heart froze in your chest. 
“Y/N, I haven’t said anything to you because I didn’t want to ruin what we had but…. but I like you. And not in a friend kind of way. Er- I mean, I do like you as a friend but I also like you more than that….” Newt nervously pushed his hand through his hair as his confession left his lips and he waited for you to reply.
For a moment, you began to feel elated but then your mind quickly took over. Clearly he was just being nice and he didn’t want to go alone and so he was trying to butter you up with some kind words. 
“Newt, you don’t have to be nice to me just because we’re friends. Just go and have fun, okay?”
Your words struck Newt hard and he instantly got up and made his way to the side of the bed you were facing. As he came in to view, you curled up, hugging your waist and trying to hide within yourself. Newt propped himself on the floor beside the bed and looked directly in to your eyes. 
“No, Y/N. I’m being serious.”
Scoffing at his words, you closed your eyes before replying, “Newt, don’t be stupid. How could you or anyone be in love with me? I’m nothing. I never have and never will be.”
How long had you felt this way? He had never known you felt so poorly of yourself. Newt’s heart broke as he watched you say such awful things about yourself and all he wanted to do what wrap you in his arms and tell you how beautiful and amazing you were.
“Y/N, you are one of the most amazing and astounding people I have ever met. I’m sorry I never knew you felt this way about yourself.” Reaching out, he gently placed a hand on your cheek, caressing it and wiping the trail of tears away.
“Please… please understand me when I say that I truly do care for you. I love you, Y/N. I want to be with you. I want you to see the amazing woman I see. You’re funny, smart, you have the most beautiful E/C eyes I have ever seen and I love every moment I spend with you.” He paused, waiting as you let out a few more tears which he quickly whisked away.
“I want to help you, love. I want to help you fight off those voices in your head. You’re perfect just how you are and I don’t need anyone else but you.”
Newt’s voice cracked as he spoke, an indication he was trying to hold back tears of his own. You opened your eyes and looked up at him, his sea foam green eyes staring down at you. His eyes held an intensity that made you realize he was being completely and utterly honest with you. 
Pushing yourself up, you held out your arms and Newt instantly engulfed you in his embrace. Your head rested upon his shoulder and his hand found your head, his fingers weaving through your hair as he pushed you in further in to his embrace.
The clock on the wall indicated the party had started a half hour ago but you hardly cared. Neither did Newt. He just held you in his arms, kissing your head as he whispered sweet nothings to you.
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janiedean · 7 years
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okay from what i gather, you guys studied your OWN history AND the colonial history of other european countries AND a ton of other stuff like how did you manage to fit it all in omg (it's really cool tho). the rest of us barely manage our own history and basic world history, o.O
because we did it thrice over the course of thirteen years xD when I went to school it worked like that
like from 6-10: elementary school, you do basic notions of everything but start from the sumerians, then go through egyptians, greece, roman empire and related business. then you do the middle ages in all of europe with relative focus on italy, then when colombo happens you do the discovery of the americans AND SPANISH COLONIALISM GDI I LEARNED ABOUT CORTEZ WHEN I WAS NINE WHY DON’T SOME PPL HERE KNOW WHO HE IS sorry, meanwhile you’re doing like the abc of euro history ie french vs british, british vs spanish, 100 years war and blah blah blah until you go to france for the french revolution, you end up studying the rise of communism after the second industrial revolution and then 20TH CENTURY YEY and at some point in between when you do american independence then at some point your textbook goes like MEANWHILE IN AMERICA THERE WAS THE CIVIL WAR. in elementary you usuallys top after wwii tho, obv you spend at least three weeks on the italian unification or the reinassance when that shit happens
11-13: junior high, you do ALL of that ALL OVER AGAIN just more in depth
14-18: high school: YOU DO THAT ALL OVER AGAIN JUST MORE IN DEPTH, and in HS you also touch stuff like japanese late 19th cent. history/imperialism, asian empires, ottoman empire, plus like scandinavian countries/poland/russia and so on which are usually neglected or really brushed off quickly in the previous two (I mean in elementary/junior high japan is basically that country that was so dumb to be in the axis along with us, and russia doesn’t exist before peter the great, in HS you do something more than that). but, BONUS: I did the humanistic-based high school curricula which implied learning latin and greek SO WE ALSO DID ROMAN AND GREEK ANCIENT HISTORY SEPARATED FROM THE ABOVE *IN DEPTH* because we had to translate shit about it and you can’t do the authors without the history, and in english class as stated above THREE YEARS OF *ONLY BRITISH HISTORY*. and I’m not counting that in HS you usually reach the seventies and at some point your textbook gives you a very broad summary of what was going on in australia or polinesia or china or south america so even if you didn’t STUDY that in depth you know the basics. obviously this counts that italian history is still there all the time, like every textbook is structured like, half of this chapter is about italian history in century Y, the other half is about the rest of europe.
not counting that ALL OUR LITERATURE is tied with history anyway so if you don’t do that in history it goes out of the door and comes back from the literature window xDDD and in hs we also have philosophy classes mandatory in at least three possible types of HS which means that you have another subject where you have to revise your history, since philosophical stuff is doubly tied with the historical moment it happens in.
obviously this system doesn’t cover everything, I mean in HS I didn’t do shit about canadian history or south-asian history beyond the japanese empire and the likes, never mind african history that wasn’t colonial beyond ancient egypt but I mean you can’t honestly do everything and it still covers anything that might have been related to euro/italian history. not counting the three years of british history in english class where I’d have rather kept it to one hour and have five of literature but whatever xD
tldr: whoever drafted the italian curricula was an overachiever but wasn’t wrong in trying because at least something usually sticks. now I think they changed the system and you only go through that once or twice but not thrice but still. how did we manage: idk we had the textbooks and we studied them XDD there really wasn’t much choice not to ;)
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bazzledazzled · 7 years
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Fluffy...
OMGS U got something from when Annie and Damon first meet Hannah in my first draft of Beyond the Pages XDD
Sorry if this is bad I wrote it forever ago and ye….
“Well, first I was going to pick some apples from the grove a little ways back but then I saw this cute little rabbit with white fur and came closer to it but then it hopped away so I ran after it because I know nothing cute and fluffy lurks in these woods and I was curious, you know, So I followed it and then I heard voices and I hid behind a bush because nobody is supposed to be in the woods if they are about my age and I was scared that I would get in trouble so I just followed them and then they stopped here and started fighting and then I came out and it turned out that those two people where you guys and now I don’t think I’ll get in trouble and that’s a relief because my mom said that if I was caught one more time… well, that’s not important. So, anyway, what are you guys doing here?”
Here ya go frien!!
Send me a word and I’ll give you a sentence (or more) from something I’m writing with that word
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crownshattered-a · 2 years
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|| OKAY im online now XDD Was “busy” today with homework, getting food with my dad, but mostly playing the KNY game but pretending tanjiro is my reverse nezuko and goofing off with my sisters about it XDD
Sorry I haven’t gotten to any messages, but today hasn’t really been a good talking day for me.!! I’ll reply back in a sec. Gonna work on some drafts and maybe go back to playing LOL
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