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misqnon · 14 days

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IM SORRY FOR PLANTING THE IDEA IN UR HEAD THAT I WOULD TRY TO DECEIVE U /GEN

being 14 and stupid is a valid reason. i too was 14 and stupid at one point

i get really jealous when my fav fictional characters get into a relationship (assuming i like them romantically) and so .. best for me to not ship them.. and also best for me to not fall for characters that will get together with someone. loz:totk spoilers but seeing sidon got married actually broke my heart..... i was so sad...

ACTUALLY PHOENIX AND MILES DO HAVE A RIVALRY UR RIGHT.. i dont ALWAYS hate enemies to lovers. but they were friends first.. and then they became friends again. so i think i categorize them differently in my head

kidd becoming king of the pirates sounds pretty impossible to me because.. i fully believe luffy will do it. but i can see how it would happen if like. luffy gets the one piece but doesnt take credit for it or something. i could also kinda see a route where luffy, kidd, and law all reach the end point together

in the world of pirates i guess most can be forgiven. i definitely DO forget abt how awful some characters were so his way of just rewriting them to be nicer ... kinda works..

u might have linked the wrong video bc i dont remember him saying anything about sanji's eyebrow swirl. maybe i wasnt paying enough attention,, i do think i like partially noticed that oda's signature has sanji's eyebrow swirl but ... yeah that is VERY telling

"and i want to beat him to death with hammers . who said that" LMAO i can relate..

AGHH U WORDED IT SO WELL.. "zoro is boisterous." YES HE IS... UR SO RIGHT.. like he has a lot of quieter moments post timeskip but when hes loud hes LOUD,, i watched episode 2 which is the buggy episode (idk if he shows up later or not) but i did Not Hear the fuck... i mustve filtered it out. too used to hearing cuss words..

RIGHT, they did a great job with the casting. trans koby is so good..

"GOD I WISH SHE WAS REAL" ME TOO

"thank you for showing me!! :D" <3 :)

i found out google had a record of a bunch of accounts that used my email with passwords that mightve been compromised. like . i found that a while ago. but i couldnt log into any of the accounts because . well probably because they WERE compromised. and half of it i was just like ... i dont remember this.... im just living my life with probably a million accounts on various websites that have been stolen. actually my og minecraft account from when i was 9 was stolen.. it was heartbreaking.

THAJK U i will enjoy. i will.

gasp . i.. that is very sweet of u to offer, thank u. my music taste is honestly really hard to pin down i think.. from what i have gathered from other people

"I FUNDED IT" YOU DID!!

"some people have said it seemed fake/forced" noo 😭😭. iñaki seems too genuine for that. i fully believe he was actually that excited. i think he just kinda has that awkward... dare i say autistic... energy. so his interactions with people probably seem forced no matter what. i am just speculating though

was it the zosan comic because i had seen that on my own timeline like 5 times already before u reblogged it LOL

genuinely i think its just because i have dissociative amnesia ahjdhs. but i do think its a funny story to tell people... like yeah... i forgot....

my gender evolution has been genderfluid -> cis girl -> genderfluid -> cis girl -> genderfluid -> cis girl -> trans man? -> trans man who uses he/they pronouns -> transmasc -> nonbinary/transmasc (i usually say nonbinary)

and now i am questioning my gender again. the grind never stops 💪🔥🔥

i say im non binary bc i . gave up. like i am so sick of trying to figure it out ... ill just use the biggest umbrella term.

i do remember that guy who keeps showing up on the sbs for his extremely perverted questions about women... and i would actually send in a question for the sbs but I don't know japanese and he doesnt answer questions that arent in japanese. or so i have heard. i could use a translator though so maybe im just making excuses

it IS a bop.. thank u for the context i heart when ppl tell me things so im not confused. i havent seen rupauls drag race.. i did mean to at one point and then i .. forgot about it

"I USE THAT SAME PHRASE A LOT AND ACCIDENTALLY DO THAT SAME THING EVERY TIME LMAO" IM SO GLAD IM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO DOES THAT AHJDS

OH PERFECT. MAGISTRATE OF SANJI!!! u get to sit in a courtroom full of sanji fans and judge ace attorney style cases

u havent even gotten to the death pact though have you?? LMAO

YES perfect. i agree its probably just cuz oda wants them to be more intimidating but thats not an interesting reason to me .. i want canonical reasoning behind the heights

"bisexuality of man or whatever" is so funny ..

i like dofuwani too but yeah i think they only really interact during marineford?? i think listing out what ships i like would be hard cuz i LIKE a lot of them but dont Care About most of them.. i care about shuggy.. and recently sanuso.. and ofc hanyagellan. i think thats it tbh. im way more likely to care about characters themselves rather than ships.

"im ngl hannyagellan is like a funny joke ship to me but if it becomes one of those crack ships u acciddentally get attached to im gonna be so mad (i wont be mad itll be really funny)" this is pretty much how i feel... like i was joking and i think its turning into . not a joke... i think im starting to be serious.....

i also miss kuina. like she barely appeared but she has such a big impact.... i wish . she. hadnt died. also i think about how her father's last words to her might have been that she can never be the strongest swordsman, because she was born female. i hate that guy... (her dad). i have seen people say her dad killed her or something and i dont like that theory. first of all i dont think her dad is evil like that. i think hes just your regular sexist dad lmao. but also i feel like it cheapens the impact of her death.

this panel is so good and. like. idk i feel like him realizing that humans are inherently weak is so important to his character.. thats why he protects weak people. because he sees his childhood friend in them. or thats my theory anyways,,

somewhat unrelated but i have always been amazed that people can imagine amvs/animations/stories while listening to music. like my aphantasia isnt that bad but HOW... doesnt the music block out all your thoughts... thats what it does for me...

ur probably right that it really was a gender thing im just.. huffing copium. im coping. i cant handle the reality that he might also be a sexist jerk

i think seeing plays is fun but being part of the production is way more exciting. i love getting to see all the behind the scenes work and like. i like being able to work with my hands a lot. and when i was spotlight for a few shows . that was so exciting. this is kinda lame but i get chills super easily from watching things (idk how else to explain this. chills. goosebumps. because im excited.) so whenever i would watch the shitty high school theatre productions we did i was still like. so proud of all the work that went into it. and i got chills every show. most of the time i didnt get to watch the show though because i was moving things on and off set. watching plays on youtube is so real.. i watched uh.. "natasha, pierre, and the great comet of 1812" on youtube. it was still very fun to watch. but yeah in person will always be better

NO i agree i dont rly think of robin as a mother either. i honestly dont like putting the parent role onto any of the older straw hats.. like why cant they just be cool older friends. an older person and younger person dynamic doesnt always have to be parent and child. i cant find the video but have u seen that video on youtube that has a bunch of sanji mother moments... its so cute..

ateez and stray kids were my favorites!!! not sure how familiar u are with kpop .. slang?? but i was ot8 for ateez (as in i liked everyone) and with stray kids changbin was my favorite. i still love them but they arent my hyperfixation rn. i was into bts when i was uhhh.. 12??

the video u sent seems fun and i will watch it after i finish this!!

*points* zosan liker.. /lh. i have seen quite a bit of themetalhiro but idk if im following them or not!! the other ppl i am not familiar with so yippee new content

i have plenty op thoughts i can share!! im honestly not good at asking questions so i tend to just say things n hope whoever im talking to can jump off whatever i say,,. i try to stay away from anything spoilery ofc but so many of my thoughts r spoilery... which is why i havent been throwing them all at u. and also some (a lot) of them are just .... law centered..... and ... u dont like him like i do... (which is fine ofc) i just dont wanna be annoying JSHRJ

ok this isnt really a theory or anything like that but i keep wanting to tell people about this and i am barely restraining myself so . i will tell u. ace sabo and luffy are called the asl brothers right? and ace... died.. my brothers and i also have the initials asl. or we did. but my deadname starts with an a.... my deadname and ace have something in common (theyre both dead).

thats not really anything but i just find it to be a very interesting coincidence . i like to think about it.

ok heres an actual thought. sorry if it sounds awkward. some of this would be spoilery so i will just not include it but. pirates are all about dreams. they have big, lofty goals that they dont usually tell people about, probably out of shame and embarrassment. in sabaody it is hinted that kidd and killer told people that they were going after the one piece, and they were laughed at for it. not many pirates are like luffy, who proudly proclaims that he will be king of the pirates and find the one piece.

i find it really interesting that crocodile is hinted at having had a dream that was only possible through taking over alabasta. and enel's dream was to get to the "endless varse", even after being defeated he still headed towards his dream. he just ended up going alone. big mom's dream is a utopia where every race can live peacefully together. they all are willing to do awful things for the sake of their dreams.

but again, the difference between luffy and these other people and their dreams is that luffy is not hurting people in the pursuit of his dream. he isnt causing a bunch of people to suffer. in fact, he is doing the opposite. he has continuously been shown to free people from their oppressive rulers, and he crushes the dreams of those who are willing to sacrifice innocent people to achieve their goals.

i dont really have an end point to this but i think that the differences are kind of proof that luffy is going to actually succeed. because he is good at heart. because he doesnt kill people for the sake of his dream. and also i pity the people he defeated. like yeah theyre awful. but i cant help but wonder what crocodile wanted. i cant help but think about what kind of circumstances led them to that point in their life

uhm uhmm yeah... i will think of questions to ask u.. so that u dont have to worry about asking Me questions..

"also p.s. there is never any pressure to watch any of the videos i link it is more for a sourcing purpose unless u actively want to watch them" i watched them anyways!! but i rly appreciate this .. tbh, usually i wont watch something when someone asks me to (pda autism perhaps), but when u say theres no pressure im like "oh. ok. that means i can do whatever i want.." and then i end up watching it most of the time. bc i am curious.

sanji is such a mess... i love that first image what a goofy face . i wish i could send videos through asks cuz i have.. a video from the 4kids dub saved.. that i think is funny... maybe i will send it another way. but alas. i will give u this instead.

CAN’T BELIEVE U WOULD SO SUCH A THING!! /j

NO FR I ACTUALLY LIKE YONA BUT. NOOO THEY MARRIED OFF MY MAN!!!!

i felt similarly when they almost married off sanji. but i really like pudding too. also hey why the FUCK did they make her 16-!!! (will never not be mad about it. they'd be kinda cute together if she wasnt tbh!!)

yea i assume the theories that are like “buggy will find the one piece first” or “kidd will become pirate king!” all assume luffy will do it in the way that matters. i COULD see the worst gen trio reaching it together but part of me really wants all the strawhats there when luffy finds it 🥺

i absolutely couldve linked the wrong video its been a while since i watched it lmao SORRY U SAT THROUGH A SANJI VIDEO FOR NOTHING

okay but regarding zoro THIS VIDEO IM IN THE MIDDLE OF WATCHING SO I KNOW ITS THE RIGHT ONE. around 25 minutes in he starts discussing opla zoro’s issues and at 26:12 he brings up a little zoro recipe card that is exactly what we’ve been saying HAHA and dw u didnt miss the fuck its later on in the season.

all these stolen accounts….all around me are familiar faces…worn out places…..

i dont think inaki gives the impression of being autistic but with english being his second language he may just have that slight hesitation of understanding his brain working out the the english (and this is just ME suspecting and i could be totally off base) but especially in the oda video where everything oda says is translated through japanese to english but his first language is spanish kvnkd. i dont mean to imply i think hes bad at english or anything but when ppl say stuff to me in spanish (which i took for a few years) i always have to mega process it in my brain first

“was it the zosan comic” [hangs my head in shame] m..m…..maybe.,

A DIFFERENT IRL FRIEND OF MINE (who is very asexual, for reference) GOT A TUMBLR WITHOUT TELLING ME AND HAD BEEN FOLLOWING ME AND I HAD PREVIOUSLY TOLD HIM “YEA U SHOULD GET A TUMBLR BUT DONT WORRY ABOUT FOLLOWING ME U PROB WONT LIKE WHAT I POST HAHAHA….WHEN I FOUND OUT HE HAD BEEN FOLLOWING ME I WAS SO. EMBARR5ASSED. ALL MY ONE PIECE YAOI…AND VAMPIRE HORNY…ON FULL DISPLAY…I WAS LIKE PLEASE TELL ME YOU’RE FILTERING THE CONTENT . I NEED U TO PUT “ZOSAN” ON UR FILTER ASK DONT ASK ME WHAT IT MEANS,

your gender just “i forgor..”

LMAO THE GENDER QUESTIONING GRIND. WE ARE ON IT TOGETHER MY BROTHER. mine was like. cis girl -> demigirl -> still demigirl but casually bc i kept forgetting -> questioning?? -> genderfluid?? or bigender?? is where i currently am at.

I REMEMBER THAT GUY… SHOO..SHOO

he has mentioned a couple questions as being from overseas, but idk if they were sent in english originally and translated or what. we could Try

so to be fair i have only seen one season of drag race (i think it was 7. the one with kim chi) but i watch trixie and katya a lot so i absorb their knowledge. i really like drag. i kinda wanna try it someday 🧍

“OH PERFECT. MAGISTRATE OF SANJI!!! u get to sit in a courtroom full of sanji fans and judge ace attorney style cases” i literally. feel like i know exactly how this would go.

DUDEBROS WHO THINK HE’S COOL: [BANGS GAVEL] GUILTY

PPL WHO THINK HIS TREATMENT OF WOMEN IS PERFECT AND RESPECTABLE: [BANGS GAVEL] GUILTY

EIICHIRO ODA: [BANGS GAVEL] GUILTY

WOMEN WHO THINK HE’S A PATHETIC MEOW MEOW: [BANGS GAVEL] innocent

GAY PPL WHO PLAY WITH HIM LIKE TOYS: [BANGS GAVEL] innocent

(for legal reasons (haha get it) this is a joke bc all of these have nuance too them ofc. i think he’s very cool sometimes. but other times he is a LOSER. and . i guess i should give oda credit for like. making him,)

I HAVENT GOTTEN TO THE DEATH PACT YOU’RE VERY CORRECT BUT HEAR ME OUT: …THE ZOSANERS TALK ABOUT IT A LOT AND IT SOUNDS COMPELLING,

I LIKE SHUGGY. I WOULD LIKE CROSS GUILD AS A POLY SHIP MORE IF IT DIDNT FEEL MEAN WITH HOW OFTEN THEY BEAT UP ON BUGGY AND ALSO BC I THINK BUGGY BELONGS WITH MR. RED HAIR. the dynamic of shanks being desperate and pining over buggy while buggy thinks he hates him/knows but still hates him. is so funny. i love a onesided ship tbh

OH NO BRO….HANNYAGELLAN…ITS HAPPENING…

kuina gives me a lot of feelings. i love her and everything she stood for. and her time with us as the audience was so brief but we remember her too. i like thinking about what she could have been if we got to see her grown up bc she was such an awesome kid. to influence someone like zoro too. and yea koshiro seems generally pretty cool but that was FUCKED UP and im gonna be mad about it forever. i’ve also heard that “falling down the stairs” in japan can be a way of getting around saying it was a suicide and when i first got into the fandom that was compelling to me but now i dont like it bc. she wouldnt have done that. she made her promise with zoro. she was probably feeling more hopeful about her dream than ever. but then…one small accident and she’s gone. it fucks me up :/ it fucked ZORO up. ive never made the connection that thats why he protects weak people…ah . i think to me kuina made a promise, and zoro takes promises very seriously. he’s very blunt in that he takes things at face value and so a promise is an ironclad thing. i dont think hes stupid and cant tell when someone is being deceptive but i think he thinks deception in that way is kind of unhonorable.

IF I MAY in one of my fics i set aside part of a chapter (titled zoro alone. hehehe atla reference) and wrote this about zoro and kuina. its very simple and doesnt dive deep but i like it

“Zoro looks up from his walk along the path. Even in the near afternoon sun, the forest and its surroundings are grayish from the fog. Something snaps a twig. He glances over and spots a buck hopping through the forest in the distance.

Dreams. Ambitions. Drive. Do what that day stole from Kuina. Defeat Dracule Mihawk. Become the world’s greatest swordsman- for both of them. They’re lofty goals- but he can achieve them. There’s no use in doubt or regret.

He finds himself in the clearing. That same damn clearing from the first night. In fact, if he looks closely, he can still see the imprints of his boots, paced in circles in the dirt. It’s infuriating. This isn’t a good sign for his current navigational endeavors. Nonetheless, he perseveres, heading the way he remembers Sanji to have taken them yesterday.

Kuina. He doesn’t think of her as often as some might think. He doesn’t dwell on the past, only reflects on it. Today he is reflecting. The day he waited for Kuina by the lake, only for Koushirou to come instead. There’s been an accident, he’d said. She’s gone, he’d said. She’d been sick. She’d tripped. She’d fallen down the stairs.

Zoro remembered how they’d overworked themselves the day before, training together. He had some childish thoughts that day. Impulsive and hurtful. He tried not to have those anymore. He instead wanted to focus on achieving what they had set out for themselves: their promise.”

i am always imagining amvs in my head to music. i make ANIMATICS in my head to music. but do i ever actually make those things….no. i do not

as a sanji liker i am huffing copium everyday. dont worry. dont worry about it. [streteches out my hand] lets take ibuprofen together

i get chills during performances too!! its just. SO COOL!!!! TO SEE PEOPLE ACT WITH SUCH PASSION AND PORTRAY EPIC STORIES..RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!! LIVE!! AH!!! THOSE BITVHES IN THE SHAKESPEAREAN ERA HAD A POINT

i agree actually! theyre a family but not literally. the mothering some of them show is just cute. and um YES OF COURSE ive seen the sanji mother moments video. god esp pre ts he was so damn cute sometimes 😭 im reading ur message and seeing some of ur posts now and i just feel like this

“u like sanji now dont u rowan”

i think for ateez my friends favorite is seongwha…and my other friend’s bias in ateez is…i dont remember actually,

I LIKE LAW!!! LAW ME UP!!! IM THE MAGISTRATE AFTER ALL!!!! ksjncdkj no but really he isnt one of my ABSOLUTE FAVS but i really like him!! and after corazon…….law is just very compelling ok. i saved the hawaiian shirt comic to my phone as well btw.

omg…rip to ace and also ur deadname i suppose…thats kind of funny.

about ur thoughts on dreams: i…forgot crocodile had a dream beyond alabasta. i thought he just wanted power bc hes sand and its a sand country so it would be perfect for him. plus the poneglyph. now im really curious…i wonder if it relates to his backstory and the possible trans-ness of it? i mean…hm. the poneglyph was weapon related,...idk . croc backstory when…

and ur right about that! luffy is selfish and he’s not a hero but hes also NOT INTERESTED IN BEING NEEDLESSLY TERRIBLE…bc he’s after freedom and what use is it if u destory the freedom of others while searching for it for yourself? undermines your entire goal

i see ur video and i will respond to it shortly but man i DONT KNOW IF I CAN DO IT. HIS 4DUB VOICE PAINS ME PHYSICALLY

speaking of videos. i have a playlist where i put my fav one piece shits. again u do not have to watch any of these. but feel free to peruse

also HERE’S SOMETHING: the other day my friend asked me what i think the one piece is…and having not even reached joyboy/nika shit yet (i shouldnt know about that but alas. spoilers aplenty on the internet) i was freeballing but:

my friend @ liliflower137 had a crack theory that the one piece should be gold roger’s bug collection and with luffy’s love for beetles and the sense of adventure instilled from that i was like. i actually would not be upset at all if that was the case

so i think it might be related to…joyboy/nika/ the SUN…i think maybe its like a. a hat maybe. thats my guess. sun hat. from the original joy boy. its not a good guess but its all i HAVe

also…why do they call him bartolomeo the cannibal. i swear they didnt say anything about him eating people upon introduction. they just call him that. did i miss something. why is bartolomeo called a cannibal and yet when i, big mom,

to end here’s a good zoro meme for u

#march anon #asks #replies #long post

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grapesodatozier · 3 years

Text

so close to the real thing (closer than you think)

rating: explicit

word count: 6.8k

summary: Eddie's been pining over Richie for as long as he can remember. He loves everything about Richie; especially how much Richie loves touching him. It's a little inconvenient, though. Eddie copes with his pent up sexual tension by constantly checking a porn blog he's obsessed with on tumblr. This guy has the same type of body as Richie, he talks like Richie, his name is even Richie! It makes it all too easy for Eddie to pretend it really is Richie while getting himself off to all of the blog's content.

You'll never guess what he finds out when he starts sexting this stranger named Richie from his anonymous porn blog.

tags: friends to lovers, porn with feelings, love confessions, dom/sub dynamics, bi dom top richie, gay sub bottom eddie, the most oblivious pining idiots in the world lol we love them

notes: this is one of my more ridiculous ideas but I had so much fun with it lol. also as a note you probably should not approach people on the internet the way they do in this fic, but they're just v enthusiastic and everything here is v consensual!! still tho definitely don't take this indulgent fic as a guide on how to approach real people online lmao. okay have fun!!

read on ao3 or below!!

notsfw under the cut

Eddie Kaspbrak’s friends were his entire world; time spent with them meant everything to him. But he also really valued his alone time. He’d always been the sort who needed time to just sit on a grassy hill and watch the trains go by, to catch up on comics in his room, to get lost in Netflix shows or even just his thoughts as he moseyed around his apartment—one he live in by himself, for when these moods hit. He needed time to himself to unwind. And sometimes he unwound by scrolling through some porn blogs on tumblr with his hand in his pants.

There was one blog that he was particularly fond of. There were other blogs more catered to his personal interests, namely blogs that didn’t feature women like this one did. But there was a good balance of genders represented, so Eddie figured he could just scroll past those posts. This guy was worth it. His pictures were ridiculously hot, and his dirty talk was even hotter.

Also, his name was Richie. Which Eddie refused to acknowledge as part of the draw.

It was harder to ignore tonight. He’d been out with the losers, and Richie had just been so touchy. And there was something about the way he'd been talking; his voice was lower than normal, slower in a way that made Eddie’s stomach flip. And his touches had lingered, his hand squeezing Eddie’s hip slow, then lazily brushing against his ass as he dropped it. Eddie could hardly take it. He brushed it off as Richie just being tired from work, but god, Eddie wanted it to mean more. The hardest part was hiding how much he wanted Richie to keep doing it.

There were so many things Eddie wanted Richie to do to him. He wanted Richie to touch him harder, to grab him by his hips with both hands. Richie’s hands were so big; Eddie just knew Richie could manhandle him so easily, so roughly. He wanted to know what it would feel like to have Richie’s hands all over him, grabbing at his ass and his thighs, holding his wrists down, making him feel so small. While Eddie would never admit it, huffing at every short joke Richie made, but he loved being shorter than Richie. He loved how safe he felt when Richie held him. And he was dying to know how small he would feel with Richie looming above him, or sitting in Richie’s lap, bouncing on his cock. He wanted to hear Richie talking to him in that low, slow voice, with that condescension Eddie did his best to pretend not to be affected by. He wanted Richie to whisper in his ear and call him all those pretty names he always dropped so casually, all those sweet ones and also ones that were a lot meaner. He wanted Richie to want him.

But it was easier to think about it than to ask for it. He knew Richie had way more experience than him. Well, okay, maybe not way more necessarily, but they were starting their third year of college, and he hadn’t wasted any time. Eddie, on the other hand, hadn’t done anything more than hand stuff with someone else. The guys he’d hooked up with were nice enough, and hot enough, but they just… weren’t Richie.

He supposed this guy on tumblr wasn’t Richie either, but at least he was everything else Eddie wanted. None of his hookups had been so, well, dominant, and that was this guy’s whole thing. He was dominant and a top and into guys that looked like Eddie. He even kind of talked like Richie, and he was apparently pining over his best friend, just like Eddie was. It had him completely smitten. Plus, internet-Richie’s crush had brown eyes like Eddie, and he ran track, just like Eddie did. Internet-Richie had posted once about his dick getting hard watching his friend at his track meet, and Eddie had come so hard that night, his track shorts around his ankles, imagining his Richie thinking those things about him.

Eddie was in bed now, in nothing but his boxers and one of Richie’s old shirts that had been Eddie’s for a while now. Still reeling from the way Richie had been acting that night, he logged into his porn account on his phone and scrolled through his dash for a grand total of thirty seconds before going immediately to internet-Richie’s blog. A thrill went through Eddie’s body when he saw that he had just posted. He’d written, “god my friends gonna fuckn kill me with that ass, i wanna plow him so bad” then reblogged it and added, “reminder that my asks and dms are always open if any pretty needy little subs need help getting off. please come be sluts in my messages.” Eddie’s breath caught in his throat when he saw that there was a picture, too, one of him gripping his hard cock, his boxers pulled down just enough for Eddie to see the dark hair around the base of his cock. Eddie moaned at the sight. His cock was so nice, so long and thick and pink. And fuck, his fingers. They were so long and slim, almost as nice as his-Richie’s.

Eddie scrolled a little farther down, his heart racing. There were a lot of reblogs, but some original posts here and there, things like, “what i wouldn’t do to have a pretty guy drooling all over my cock rn,” and, “in the mood to get someone dick drunk. wanna fuck a someone so hard they forget their own name.” One that made Eddie nearly choke said, “want someone i can pump my come into whenever i want, over and over again. want a sub i can keep full of my come all the fuckn time.” That post had Eddie getting out his lube.

It also had him thinking about internet-Richie’s most recent post, his post about his DMs being open.

Eddie bit his lip and thought about it. He’d sent internet-Richie some asks before from his porn blog (his blog didn’t have his name on it, just the teddy bear emoji, since he privately thought the teddy/Eddie rhyme was fun and clever, and also it was cute), and he’d seemed plenty happy enough to respond then. Still, it felt like a much bigger step to DM him, to talk to him just one on one. But the more he read his posts, the more he thought about his-Richie and how he’d touched Eddie that night, the easier it was to convince himself to shoot his shot with this stranger.

Eddie just messaged him a simple, “hi,” with a heart emoji. It was innocent enough, but his heart was still racing.

Internet-Richie responded a lot faster than Eddie was expecting. Honestly he hadn’t been expecting a response at all. But he said:

hiya cutie (; ive been hoping youd message me

Eddie flushed. He couldn’t help but hear cutie in his-Richie’s voice—especially given how often Richie used the nickname. really? he typed back.

fuck yes, ur cute little messages make me so hard. i can tell ur a pretty little thing just from the way you type

Eddie was blushing deep. Pretty little thing. That was hotter than it should’ve been. He wanted his Richie to talk to him like that, in that deep, sleepy voice.

there’s no way you can tell that from some messages :P, Eddie sent.

His heart stopped at the next messages internet-Richie sent.

oh, u dont think so?

why dont u send me some pics to prove me wrong (;

Oh my god, Eddie thought, his breath coming short. His head swam at the thought of sending this guy nudes, of showing himself off to someone who clearly wanted to see him, who would know how to take care of him and fuck him the way he liked, a guy with his crush’s fucking name and body type and hands. It had Eddie’s cock hard and leaking, and he slowly slid a finger inside of himself.

But just because the thought turned him on didn’t mean he was gonna send this stranger what he wanted so easily, even if he desperately wanted to.

you’d like that, wouldn’t you?

He fingered himself open as he waited for a response, working his way up to two fingers. It was nearly impossible to ignore his cock, but he didn’t want to come before the conversation even had a chance to start.

fuck ya i would, internet-Richie responded. Then, in a second message, whats wrong baby? you shy? ill show u mine ;)

Eddie's breath caught. God, this guy even made stupid shit sound hot, just like Eddie’s Richie. This was unreal.

i’ve seen yours, Eddie pointed out.

ya and you musta liked it if ur messaging me rn

Eddie bit his lip. ...maybe

aw thats cute sweetheart. u know i can see all the needy little tags you add when u reblog my stuff right?

Eddie blushed. He’d kind of always hoped he’d read them, but he never thought he actually did. i didn’t know you read those

oh ya, read them, jerk off to them. bit of a size queen, aren’t you? ;) it’s cute. makes me so fuckn hard when u talk abt how u want me to fill you up

Eddie whimpered out loud, sliding a third finger into himself. Fuck, he wanted that cock inside of him so bad. But right now one of his toys would have to do, once he was stretched out enough. He sped up his fingers, getting impatient. Gathering up all of his horny courage, he sent, show me.

what, no please? only good boys who use their manners get dick pics babydoll

Eddie pouted and whined to himself, making quick work of sliding his hot pink vibrator inside of himself—well, as quickly as he could without hurting himself. He moaned as it filled him up, making pleasure spread deep through his body. Slowly pumping it in and out, he reached for his phone. please, he typed, please let me see? wanna know what to picture while i fuck myself with my vibrator. He even added the wide eyed pouting emoji to really milk the whole begging thing. He knew he’d been playing a little coy, but now with the way internet-Richie was talking to him he was getting desperate.

well fuck baby since ur begging ;)

Eddie held his breath as he waited for the picture, slowly rocking his toy in and out, savoring the feeling. He wished it was Richie doing it, wished it was his cock. The lines between which Richie blurred; he wanted to get fucked by either of them, both of them.

What Eddie received when his phone lit up was not a picture, but a video. It was short, just a few seconds of Richie’s hand dragging wetly, smoothly over his cock, but it had Eddie drooling. The room was dark, so he’d used a flash, and it made the mix of what Eddie assumed was precome and spit glisten as the swollen head of Richie’s cock disappeared and reappeared from behind his fingers. Eddie must’ve played it at least five times, fucking himself a little faster, before remembering to say something back. And to take a video of his own. fuck, I want you so bad, want you to fucking ruin me, he wrote back. A part of him couldn’t believe how openly desperate he was being, but he found that he liked it; he liked the way it made him blush, he liked the way it felt to beg, to ask for what he wanted.

Richie’s response came fast: show me kitten. show me how you want me to fuck your pretty little ass.

Eddie moaned at the pet name; casual little nicknames were such a weakness for him. He was already so far gone, just picturing Richie’s cock inside of him, picturing him stroking his cock to thoughts of Eddie. The attention had his cock hard and leaking as he thrust his vibrator even deeper inside of himself, pumping it in and out a few more times before rolling over and getting on his hands and knees. It was hard to take a video from this angle, but he wanted to show off his ass and hide his face. Plus, there was something so hot about having his ass in the air and his face shoved in his pillow, looking like the perfect image of someone desperate to be fucked. He loved the way it made him feel, loved the thought of being so open for someone. For Richie.

He ended up shooting a short video as well, about ten seconds of him sliding his vibrator slowly in and out of himself, letting out soft little moans. He was pretty pleased with the way it turned out, his hole pink and smooth and wet as it stretched around his toy. The angle was a little weird, showing a lot of his room once or twice when his hand slipped a little, but overall he thought his ass looked amazing, if he did say so himself. He sent it and said, feels so good. do you want me to go faster?

As he sent it, he got settled on his back, forcing himself to go slow as he fucked himself while he waited for internet-Richie’s response. It was taking longer than before, and Eddie was getting antsy; it was so hard to drag it out, to not get ahead of himself. But whatever Richie was doing, Eddie knew it would be worth the wait. Still, he pouted as his cock ached, begging for attention.

He almost jumped out of his skin when he heard a knock at the door.

He groaned to himself and stayed put, fucking himself even slower as he waited for whoever it was to leave. But then the knocking continued, loud and incessant and obnoxious, and Eddie knew exactly who it was. He also knew he wasn’t going to go away any time soon, which honestly made him smile and blush. Richie had terrible timing, but Eddie would never be upset to see him.

Reluctantly, he slowly slid the toy out and pulled on his shorts, leaving his shirt off. He still had a pretty obvious boner, but his horny brain did not mind the idea of Richie seeing it. So he strode lazily down the hall, shouting a performatively annoyed, “I’m coming!” Finally, he opened the door, cocking his hip to the side and giving Richie an expectant look. “Can I help you?” he asked, a small smile dancing around the corner of his lips. He had to fight off a smirk at the wide eyed look Richie gave him as he ran his eyes over Eddie’s body.

“Fuck,” he muttered lowly, his eyes trained on Eddie’s cock, which was getting even harder the more Richie stared. Eddie bit his lip and grinned a little, making doe eyes at Richie. But Richie didn’t meet his gaze—instead he brushed past Eddie, his mouth still hanging open as he made his way urgently toward Eddie’s bedroom.

“Richie?” Eddie asked, a little let down that Richie’s hands weren’t all over him right now. But hey, if he was heading to Eddie’s bedroom he figured that was at least the right direction. He closed his front door and followed Richie into his room, where he found him staring at the bright pink vibrator on the bed. As confident and horny as Eddie was feeling, that still made him blush. He was only human. Crossing his arms, he said, bashful now, “I was kind of in the middle of something.”

Richie looked over at him, his cheeks bright red under his freckles. Then he got a glimmer of that trademark shit-eating grin on his face. “Eds, you fucking slut,” he said, sounding both delighted and breathless. “You are so fucking hot.”

Eddie flushed and tried not to squirm, but he couldn’t help but press his legs together, his eyes brightening. Fuck, was this actually happening? Shit, he needed to think of something witty to say. “You gonna do anything about it?” Okay, that kinda sounded like a corny porn, but he had to give himself credit for even being able to form words just after his lifelong crush and personal wet dream had just admitted his attraction to him.

“I think I already have been,” Richie said, still grinning.

Eddie cocked an eyebrow at him. He couldn’t help but smile back. “Oh yeah? How do you figure that?”

Eddie was expecting a confession. He was expecting something along the lines of you think I don’t notice how you look at me? or did you really think those were casual touches earlier? What he was not expecting was for Richie to unlock his phone and hold it up, showing Eddie the video he had just taken, the video he’d sent to internet-Richie.

Oh. Oh. Oh fuck.

“Oh my god, that’s you?” Eddie cried in disbelief.

“You’re telling me you didn’t recognize this dick?” Richie asked, swaggering over to Eddie, clearly enjoying himself.

“How did you recognize it was me?”

Richie nodded toward the Thundercats poster on Eddie’s wall, then to the model train that sat on his dresser. “What other guy has decor like that and the ass to match?”

Eddie grinned and shook his head. “That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Well pardon me for not being especially eloquent when I’ve just learned that the guy I’ve been masturbating to since I learned how to and been in love with for even longer has been masturbating to me too.”

Eddie’s eyes went wide, all thoughts of getting fucked leaving for a moment. “You’re in love with me?” he asked, his voice as soft as his smile.

Richie was not a bashful person, but the little laugh he let out just then was close to it. “Have been my whole life, but thanks for finally noticing.”

Eddie shook his head and stepped closer, until he had to crane his head up to meet Richie’s gaze. “I love you too.”

Richie’s eyes widened behind his thick frames. Eddie had only seen that look in Richie’s eyes a few times before, but he never wanted to lose sight of it again. He always wanted Richie to look at him like that. But then Richie was closing his eyes and leaning down. It only took Eddie a second to get with the program, drinking in the moment just a little longer before letting his own eyes fall shut as he pressed his lips against Richie’s.

It started gentle enough, if deep and passionate and intentional. But then Richie’s hands were on Eddie’s bare waist, skin against skin, and Eddie was gasping into Richie’s mouth, his hands coming up and resting against Richie’s chest. He curled his fingers into Richie’s shirt as Richie ran his tongue over Eddie’s lips, just before pulling away. He laughed at Eddie’s indignant little whine.

“Oh, you mean you don’t want me to take off my shirt right now?” he smirked as Eddie tried to pull him closer by the offending fabric. Huffing, Eddie conceded and let go long enough to let Richie pull the shirt off over his head.

“Oh,” he said softly, his voice a little, awed moan as he drank in Richie’s chest. It wasn’t like Richie had never been shirtless in front of Eddie before, but Eddie had never felt like he was allowed to really look at Richie all those times. But now he could; now he could touch. And he did, running his fingers over Richie’s smooth, warm skin, over his acne scars and blackheads and freckles. “Fuck, Richie,” he sighed before pressing his lips to Richie’s collarbones, trailing them all over Richie’s beautiful chest.

Richie gave a breathless, almost shy laugh as he stroked Eddie’s hair. “Damn, Eds, never pegged you as a tits guy.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Eddie giggled, bringing his lips back to Richie’s. They both smiled into it, getting lost for a moment as Richie’s hands slid slowly down Eddie’s sides. His hands lingered on Eddie’s hips for a moment before he slid them further down and grabbed at Eddie’s ass, making him gasp.

“Is that any way to talk to the guy who’s about to rail you ‘til you can’t walk?”

“What’re you gonna do about it?” Eddie asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Spank me?”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Richie smirked. He gave Eddie’s ass a playful smack, making Eddie gasp again and fall into him, needing more. Richie’s voice was dripping with adoration as he purred, “Little brat,” and pulled Eddie against him, kissing him again. Eddie went with it easily and happily parted his lips to let Richie lick into his mouth. Richie had one hand gripping Eddie’s jaw and the other on his ass, touching him in a way that exuded a command Eddie was desperate to follow. God, Eddie knew Richie had big hands, but they felt huge on him like this. It was dizzyingly hot. And the way Richie’s tongue was teasing his had Eddie’s knees going weak. His dick was throbbing in his shorts, aching to finish what he’d started, what had been interrupted. When he thought about it all—about playing with himself for Richie, about the video Richie had sent him, about all those things Richie had said about filling Eddie up—he felt himself clench down on nothing, desperate to get fucked. Desperate to feel Richie’s cock so deep inside of him.

“Richie,” he whined into the kiss, pulling on Richie’s belt loops, “please.” He pressed himself urgently against Richie and rutted shamelessly against his thigh.

“Fuck, you’re a needy little thing, aren’t you?” His voice was cocky and teasing, but there was an apparent undercurrent of wonder there as well.

Eddie shoved his face into Richie’s neck and whined, grabbing onto Richie’s wrists without even knowing what his goal was. “Richie,” he whimpered, sounding pitiful and ruined already.

“What do you want, baby?” Richie’s voice made it clear that he was enjoying seeing Eddie this wrecked, and that just made Eddie even harder. “Come on, tell me, use your words.”

Eddie squirmed as Richie held him close, but still not touching him in any relieving way. “I need you inside,” Eddie said, his voice high and soft as he squirmed in Richie’s grip. “God, please, Richie, need you to fuck me. Fuck me so hard I can’t even think. Fuck me like I’m your little toy.”

Eddie could hardly believe the words coming out of his mouth, and judging by the gasp he heard Richie let out, he’d caught Richie off guard too. But if the hard bulge in his jeans that brushed up against Eddie was any indication, he was apparently just as turned on as Eddie was. Besides, Eddie knew from his blog that Richie was really into that sort of thing too—and, apparently, really into the idea of doing those things with Eddie. The realization that Richie had been saying all those filthy things about him had him grinding against him with even more fervor, kissing his neck with a heated confidence. Richie moaned, and Eddie could feel the warmth of it spreading through him. “Yeah, sweetheart? You want to feel me inside you? You think you’re ready for me?”

“Yes,” Eddie sighed, looking up at Richie with wide, desperate eyes. He shivered at the new look in Richie’s eyes, the blue nearly entirely eclipsed by how wide his pupils were. He looked hungry for Eddie; Eddie wanted to feel it. “‘M ready, Richie, please, so open for you.” He looked to the toy on his bed pointedly, but Richie only gave a deep laugh.

“Oh honey, that’s cute that you think that little thing is gonna have you ready for my cock.” Eddie’s breath caught; that toy wasn’t small. Before he could gather his scattered brain enough to react, Richie was scooping him up and tossing him on the bed, the toy falling forgotten to the floor. Richie moved Eddie onto his back, and Eddie went happily, pliantly. Richie’s fingers were cool against Eddie’s burning skin as he hooked his fingers into the waistband of Eddie’s shorts, slowly dragging them over his hips and down his legs, tossing them to the floor. Eddie’s cock was dripping with precome, his chest flushed a bright red as he squirmed under Richie’s gaze. Eddie been dreaming of Richie manhandling him like this for he didn’t even know how long; he couldn’t help the way he reacted. And he especially couldn’t help the pleased little sound he made when Richie murmured, “God, you’re gorgeous, Eds.” Then Richie was grabbing him by the ankles, gently but firmly spreading Eddie’s legs, and Eddie let out the most pathetic, genuine moan he’d ever heard. “Fuck, baby, you sound pretty. You like when I spread you open?” Richie asked. He was smirking down at Eddie, but Eddie could see how flushed he was, could see the thrilled awe in his dark, hungry eyes as Eddie nodded.

“Richie, please,” Eddie whimpered. “I need you so bad.” He sat up, reaching for Richie’s belt, but Richie easily pressed him back against the mattress with a large hand on the center of his chest. The confidence in Richie’s dominance took Eddie’s breath away, and he stayed right where he was, nice and obedient, as he watched Richie get off the bed and slowly undo his belt, then his button and zipper. He took his time dragging his jeans and boxers off, enough time to let Eddie’s eyes linger on the reveal of the dark hair under Richie’s waistband. Then Richie’s cock was bouncing up against his stomach, hard and flushed and fucking long. Eddie moaned at the sight and fisted the sheets underneath him. He wanted so badly to get his mouth on Richie, to breathe him in and be nice and good for Richie on his knees. But he was also desperate to get fucked; his hole clenched down on nothing at the thought, and then it was all he could think about again. “Richie,” he repeated, whining now as he reached for him. “Stop being such a tease.”

Richie laughed as he moved easily out of Eddie’s grip and climbed on top of him. Eddie gasped softly at the sight of Richie above him, his dark curls surrounding his face, his full, pink lips pulled into the most beautiful smile Eddie had ever seen in his life. He ran his hands over Richie’s chest and sides, marveling at the fact that this was really happening. Then, his eyes flickering down, he tentatively brought his hand to Richie’s cock.

“Oh, fuck,” they said, both at the same time, making them giggle together.

“Fuck, Eds, your pretty little hand looks so cute wrapped around my cock,” Richie teased in a low, rough voice. Eddie shivered; he couldn’t tell if Richie was praising him or degrading him, but either way it made his head fuzzy.

“‘M not that little,” Eddie grumbled out of habit. But he was clearly breathless. He’d never been good at pretending not to like Richie’s compliments, however teasing.

“Aw, but you are, baby,” Richie cooed, nuzzling his nose against Eddie’s and pressing a lingering kiss to his lips. “You’re so cute and tiny for me. I don’t even know if we’ll be able to fit my cock inside you.”

“I can,” Eddie whined, both indignant and impatient. He bucked his hips up, but Richie held him down. He gasped when he felt the warm, soft skin of Richie’s cock press against his stomach. Looking down, he saw that Richie had his cock lying on Eddie’s stomach, showing just how deep he would be once he was inside Eddie.

“You sure about that, babydoll?” While the teasing note was still there, Richie’s voice got noticeably softer as he said, “I don’t wanna hurt you.”

Eddie’s chest swelled at that. Cupping Richie’s face in his hands, he insisted, “I can take it.” Then he reached down and took Richie in his hand, glowing with pride when Richie let out a low moan. “Richie, please, I want you so bad.”

“Okay, baby,” Richie agreed, turning his head to kiss Eddie’s palm. “Fuck, I want you, too.” But he stalled. “Have you ever… like, been fucked before?”

Eddie flushed. “Well, not by someone else, but I have some toys. I’m not gonna break, Richie.” He huffed, but the way Richie was looking at him soothed any ruffled feathers.

“I’m your first?” His smile was soft, and while his eyes glittered, there was nothing teasing about his tone.

“I didn’t wanna do it with anyone else,” Eddie mumbled. He tried to look away, but Richie pulled him into a kiss.

“Fuck, I never thought you’d want me,” he chuckled. “Sorry, that was depressing, I just mean I can’t believe we didn’t do this sooner, you know?”

Eddie beamed, a small, giddy giggle dancing on his lips. “Well it’ll happen sooner if you stop talking so much.” But his smile, and all of the little kisses he planted on Richie’s freckled shoulders told Richie that Eddie never wanted him to stop talking.

“Alright, alright, sheesh, I know I’m hot but you don’t gotta rush me.” Eddie was still giggling when Richie kissed him, and he could feel that Richie was smiling too. “Where’s your lube?”

Eddie stretched his hand out and patted the bed for a moment, searching. After what was probably only four seconds but felt like an eternity, he finally found the bottle and handed it eagerly to Richie. “Oh, right,” Richie smirked, “you’re already wet for me, aren’t you?” Eddie moaned as Richie swiped his fingers over Eddie’s slick hole, pressing in just a bit. His fingers went in easily, and he pumped them slowly, drawing little, breathy moans out of Eddie. Richie’s fingers were a lot longer and thicker than his own, and they felt amazing, but they weren’t what he wanted in that moment.

“Richie, fuck me,” he whined.

“Aw, no please? Again?” Richie tsked and shook his head, curling his fingers against Eddie’s prostate, making him cry out. “I told you, sweetheart, only good boys who use their manners get fucked.”

“Please,” Eddie cried. He rocked his hips and grabbed at Richie’s shoulders, at his arms, not even sure what his goal was there other than to get Richie closer, to get his attention, to show him how desperate he was. “Please fuck me, please.” He sounded pathetic begging like this, but that just made him harder. And it made Richie’s pupils even wider as he slid his fingers out of Eddie and pressed a kiss to his lips.

“Good boy,” he purred. Eddie moaned and arched into Richie’s touch, but he only gave Eddie one more kiss on his cheek before pulling back and covering his cock in lube. Eddie watched, entranced, as Richie’s hand moved smoothly over his cock, glistening and slick. Then Richie was gently spreading Eddie’s legs even further and pressing the head of his cock against Eddie’s hole.

“Yes,” Eddie whimpered brokenly, grasping at the sheets beneath him. “Richie, please.” Meeting his gaze, he said softly, “I need you.”

“I’ve got you,” Richie assured him in a voice that made Eddie feel like he was glowing. Richie took Eddie’s hand in his and entwined their fingers, using his other hand to guide his cock inside of Eddie, who gasped at the feeling. God, he couldn’t believe this was happening. He couldn’t believe his first time was going to be with his favorite person. He couldn’t believe he was finally getting exactly what he wanted. Love flooded through him, warm and perfect, somehow both soothing and electrifying as he watched Richie’s face. Eddie’s mouth dropped as Richie pressed into him, deeper and deeper and still fucking deeper, until finally Richie let out a low moan and Eddie felt absolutely breathless. The stretch was intense, and he held onto Richie tightly as he caught his breath. “Are you alright?” Richie asked. His voice was strained, but the care and concern in it was clear. “You don’t have to take all of it if it’s too much.”

Eddie wanted to laugh at the remark or roll his eyes, but with how breathless and dizzied by pleasure he already was, he had to admit Richie had a point. “Just need a minute,” he gasped. Richie ran a soothing hand over Eddie’s skin, helping him even out his breathing and relax. The feeling of Richie’s cock twitching in anticipation inside of him had him letting out little moans as he adjusted, getting more and more used to the feeling until he felt comfortable enough to tell Richie he could move. Richie kissed him before he did, his lips soft against Eddie’s, a reassuring weight. Eddie breathed in sharply as Richie pulled back, grabbing at Richie’s shoulders.

Richie immediately stopped. “You okay, baby?” he asked, caressing Eddie’s face.

Eddie wanted to melt. Richie was always touching him, always jokingly flirting with him, but this unabashed concern and, well, love had previously been reserved for dire situations, like panic attacks or injuries. Eddie couldn’t help the dopey smile that bloomed on his face as he tilted his chin up and kissed Richie. “I’m okay,” he said breathlessly. “It’s just a little different from my vibrator.” They both gave a shaky laugh as Richie nuzzled his nose against Eddie’s.

“Better, I hope?” he grinned.

“Can’t tell yet,” Eddie retorted. Another snarky comment was on the tip of his tongue when Richie pulled his hips further back, effectively sucking all the air—and attitude—from Eddie’s chest. And then Richie was pushing back in, and Eddie let out a moan he couldn’t have faked if he tried, relaxing back into the mattress as his eyes fell shut. It was the best thing he’d ever felt, pleasure and relief flooding through his body. They’d been building up this tension for years; Eddie had figured it would feel good to break it, but it really felt magical, like something had just clicked into place. Feeling Richie inside of him, rocking his hips carefully, feeling Richie twitch as he tried not to lose control had Eddie’s head reeling. Eddie’s eyes fluttered open, focusing on Richie above him, on how flushed his face was. When Richie met his eye, pressing in deep, Eddie let out a small, “Fuck.”

“Yeah? Does that feel good, sweetheart?”

Richie was smirking as he said it, but there was something else sparkling in his eyes. Something giddy and awed. Something that made Eddie sigh dreamily, “I love you.”

Richie’s eyes widened for a moment before he pressed his lips firmly against Eddie’s, his hands roaming over Eddie’s body like he couldn’t choose where to put them, where to touch him. “I love you so much,” he beamed, pressing a few more kisses to Eddie’s cheeks. Eddie giggled at the feeling, but then Richie’s hips moved just a little faster, pressing him in just a little deeper, and he was back to melting under Richie’s touch, clinging to him as he rocked his hips with Richie’s. “Fuck, you’re so amazing, baby, so fucking beautiful. You look so good like this, holy shit.”

Eddie smiled almost drunkenly at Richie’s ability to ramble even when blowing Eddie’s mind. “Feels so good,” he moaned, his voice breathy and just a little bit higher than normal. He wrapped his legs around Richie’s waist. “Please, Richie, please.”

“Fuck, baby, wanna make you feel like this all the fucking time,” Richie groaned as he picked up the pace. Eddie whined in pleasure at the change, and that just spurred Richie to go faster, harder, until he was well and truly fucking Eddie, both of them moaning with every thrust.

“Oh my god,” Eddie cried, “ohmygodohmygodhmygod, oh fuck, Richie, please.” It felt so amazing, Richie fucking into him like this, but he needed that little bit more. His cock was throbbing desperately, achingly hard; he needed to feel Richie’s hand on him. “Richie, please,” he whimpered, “please, please touch me. I need you, I need you so bad, please, Richie.” Eddie was pouting now, grabbing aimlessly at Richie, his legs still wrapped tight around him.

“Fuck, you’re so hard for me,” Richie marveled, his voice sweet and condescending as he wrapped his hand around Eddie’s cock. Eddie nearly screamed at the contact, his back arching off the bed. Richie laughed a little, which just made Eddie even harder. The way Richie spread his precome over his cock, twisting his wrist just so as he stroked him had that familiar tension coiling in his lower stomach. “Aw, does that feel good? You gonna come on my cock, kitten?”

“Fuck, yes!” Eddie screamed. He gripped at the sheets as Richie stroked him, his voice washing over Eddie, mixing with the pleasure of Richie’s touch, of his thrusts. “Yes, yes, yes, please let me come, please, please, please.”

“That’s a good boy,” Richie purred, and Eddie could feel himself tipping over the edge at the words, at how low and affected Richie’s voice was. He groaned out, “Come on my cock like a good boy, princess,” and pure pleasure crashed over Eddie like a wave. He arched his back and cried out as he came, his moans filling the room as he squirmed under Richie, grabbed at him, at the sheets. It was fucking ethereal. He felt somehow so in tune with his body and yet so detached, like he was floating. He was barely cognizant of what Richie was saying, but when he put the sounds together and realized Richie had just said, panting, “Fuck, baby, gonna come,” Eddie felt like a live wire again.

“In me,” he said urgently. His mind was still a little too scattered for full sentences, but he knew what he wanted. God, he felt like he needed it. Like he needed to feel that connected to Richie. “Richie, come inside me, please.”

Richie apparently didn’t need to be told twice; he let out a moaned, “Oh, fuck,” before burying his face in Eddie’s neck, his breathy moans like music in Eddie’s ear. And then, as Eddie was coming down from his own high, he felt the holiest thing in the world: Richie’s cock, twitching inside of him, then his warm come filling Eddie up. It was unreal, being this close to him. Richie clutching at him as he came. It was even better than the little fantasies Eddie occasionally allowed himself. Richie was here, in his arms, pressing kisses to his neck as he caught his breath. Eddie was stroking his hair and rubbing his back as Richie nuzzled into him. Richie’s skin pressed against his skin, his legs wrapped around Richie’s waist, then falling to his sides, but still pressed to him. Still keeping him close. There wasn’t a single thought in his head that wasn’t about Richie.

Richie pulled him from his dreamy haze with light kisses pressed up his jaw, then over his cheeks. Eddie giggled at the onslaught of affection, still reeling from how fucking hot and euphoric what they had just done together had been. But he happily accepted Richie’s kisses, his heart bursting, then racing as Richie pulled back to look in his eyes. “Holy, fuck,” Richie beamed, his face flushed and blue eyes hooded from the weight of his orgasm, even as they sparkled.

“I know,” Eddie said, returning Richie’s grin as he basked in the surreality of having Richie on top of him, his dorky yet charming smile framed by lips that were red and swollen because of Eddie. His glasses were knocked askew, and Eddie instinctively reached up to fix them. With a sense of wonder, he realized that his touch was allowed to linger this time. He ran his fingers down Richie’s cheekbones, over his jaw, cupped his cheeks. “I love you,” he said. The words spilled out over his lips like he couldn’t stand not to say them. And while it made his heart race a little to say it out loud now that the adrenaline and tension was all worked through, it felt even better this time when Richie’s face softened and he nuzzled his nose against Eddie’s.

“I love you so fucking much.” Richie’s voice rarely got that soft, that sincere; it felt like a blanket wrapping around Eddie. It felt safe, secure. It felt like a promise. And if there was anyone in the world Eddie knew he could trust, it was Richie. That feeling of everything coming together came back to Eddie as he lay there under Richie, their lips moving together, feeling light as a feather now that everything was finally out in the open.

#reddie #notsfw #reddie smut #reddie fic

231 notes · View notes

radicalposture · 2 years

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Hi! That post u reblogged about writers having a tiny dissociated piece of themself analyzing their emotions and the things they're feeling you tagged as also a symptom of autism, can you elaborate a little? It's very interesting to me

yeah no problem! (twas this post, for reference)

so in my experience and from what i see of others experiences when you're ND and especially if you're late diagnosed there can be this phenomenon where you overcompensate for your 'natural deficiencies', as it were, by developing an extreme competence in a skill that's not exactly the same but runs kind of parallel and does the same job, if that makes sense?

for example, my adhd makes me extremely forgetful, so to counteract i've become an incredibly organised person (colour coded schedule, reminder apps, to do lists, etc.) and people say wow you're always on top of things! but its an 'artificial' skill. its something i learned and not something i naturally am. being a good organiser and having a good memory are not the same thing. i have a terrible memory, but the learned skill of being a good organiser does the same job and achieves the same result. similarly, because i'm autistic i am terrible at reading people and all that general social interaction stuff. but to compensate for that i've become very good at understanding psychology. so while i literally cannot tell when my boss is joking with me or how to respond to a normal question from her, i could tell you exactly how her brain works, why she acts the way she does on certain days, what went wrong in her marriage, how to word a request so i always get her to agree with me... its not the same skill, but it does a similar job and most of the time covers up the fact that i have this glaring hole where my social skills are supposed to be.

so to get back to the writer question. some autistic people really struggle to name and describe their own feelings (sometimes called alexithymia). i especially struggle with this. the best i can describe it is i feel like theres a missing link somewhere? like for normal people i guess it goes like

an event happens to them > it creates a feeling > the feeling has effects

so like idk. they have a fight with their friend (event). they feel sad/frustrated/embarassed (feeling). there are side effects, like maybe theyre irritable or they cant sleep or lose their appetite (effects).

but for me its more like

an event happens > ????????? > ahhh i can feel the effects.....

so because theres this void where the 'appropriate' feeling should be im missing the vital signpost thats supposed to indicate to me how good or bad the event was, or the sequence of events that led to a behaviour, or how im supposed to respond or whatever. for example last week i was in dublin and i was really excited to go to the gallery but after lunch i'd suddenly lost all interest in going and i was like huh? what happened there? so after talking it out with my sister i figured out like ohhhh it was really crowded when we got lunch and i got really overwhelmed because we looked up the menu in advance and decided what we'd get but THEN when we went in they had a COMPLETLEY DIFFERENT menu and i was too shy to ask what was up with that so i didnt really enjoy the food we got and they had a weird self serve system and i got really self conscious and and and. and now im exhausted and thats why im suddenly not interested in going to the gallery anymore. BUT. and heres the crucial thing. at no point did i FEEL exhausted or overwhelmed or sensory overloaded. i had to INFER how i was feeling from context clues without ever actually feeling the actual feelings myself. what makes it doubly annoying is that i do know what feelings are 'supposed' to feel like because sometimes it'll be like oh no! a sad thing happened! i feel sad! and then i cry. but thats only like 5% of the time and the other 95% im like crying and i have no idea why, time to go on a detective quest to understand what the hell it is this time. which is exhausting.

so to get back to the topic at hand!!! sorry for the long and maybe irrelevant sidebar!!! but here's why i think the post is relevant to autism (broken down into points bc i think theres a few reasons and they maybe overlap)

because we often struggle so much with understanding and identifying our own emotions we often develop a hypervigilance around them. we end up with this constant monitoring and checking and analysing to see if we're doing it 'right'. NTs (apparently) just feel their feelings. they feel happy. they feel sad. they feel angry. and they just feel them and act on them and don't think that much about it. but because i so often feel the 'wrong' thing or more likely nothing at all it becomes this constant stream of 'ok I'm feeling kind of angry but like. is that appropriate in this situation? am i too angry? am i not angry enough? am i expressing it right? do other people understand what i mean?'

the performance aspect is so interesting to me bc literally everything feels like a performance to me... when i was getting diagnosed i said to my psychologist 'when im around other people i always feel like ive suddenly been pulled up on stage and told the plays about to start and im like WHAT PLAY and the curtains suddenly gone up and everyone's looking at me but i didn't get a script and they all know their lines but i didn't even know there WAS a play much less that i was supposed to act in it and also I'm really bad at ad libbing so i cant even fake it i just stand there getting more and more panicked' and she was like 'that's autism babe <3'

in addition i often feel like i HAVE to act or exaggeratedly perform to get my point across. especially when i was younger but even now, like for example when im sick ill be 'ok family today i feel really sick im going to call in sick to work and stay in bed. goodbye.' and then i get the hmm you dont LOOK sick and its like? i told you i was sick what more do you want. so sometimes i feel this pressure to like put on an act like i have to do all the croaky voice COUGH COUGH ooogh im sick bleggh etc etc and then people go wow you look sick! you should stay in bed! like i TOLD you that was that not enough. and the line then becomes really blurred like am i performing these actions because that's what's natural in this situation or am i pretending to go through the motions in order to perform the socially acceptable signals to communicate my intentions because that's what people expect but left to myself i never would... you have to not only deal with your own feelings but also read your audiences mind to figure out how they would best receive your message and then translate from your native tongue to theirs because you know they can't speak your language and won't even try so you have to be fluent in their language or you get ignored..... exhausting!

tangential but this post on r/aspergirls yesterday struck a chord: "I’m tired of having to be sugary sweet, bubbly, and happy in order for people to not feel threatened by me. I feel like because I present feminine as well, people need me to coddle them like little babies in order for their egos not to be bruised."

on the other hand because i am so divorced from my emotions its so much easier to be a kind of objective outside observer exactly as the post described. because my actions so often feel/are fake or performed i can consciously analyse them BECAUSE theyre conscious choices im making and not spontaneous unconscious actions. and even when they're real i can also be very detached from them. past experiences in particular i can analyse them very objectively and not feel the feeling over again. i feel like my past emotions are in little glass cases and i take them down and examine them and then put them back.

but going back to the original post, people might say 'but thats just a writer/artist/actor thing' ya and why do you think people are drawn to those careers... people are drawn to career paths or interests because of the kind of people they are, they are usually not made into a certain kind of person by a career or interest. once i said something like 'ha ha sorry im being really detailed about this i guess my classics degree turned me into a bit of a pedant ha ha', to which my sister responded 'has it never occurred to you that you did a classics degree because you were already an insufferable pedant' which shut me up pretty fast lol. what i mean is people are drawn to these things because of the kind of brain they have and the particular bent their minds take. im not saying all autistic people are like this or that or that NTs cant be writers or actors or whatever. but so many ND people are drawn to these kinds of things and we're often so so good at it too.

ND people are often drawn to fiction because it just makes our brains tick a certain way. my brain in particular loves sequences and putting things in order and im also really good at taking huge amounts of seemingly disparate information and compiling it into a coherent whole. we can also be amazing at finding or making connections between things that seem to have no connection at all. and aren't these things the very basis of all fiction? isn't that what a story is? one event and then another one after it, and seeing things that are different but that can be grouped together to be put in the same narrative? isn't that what a metaphor is? you take two things that are not the same but you find out how they could be the same and you hold these two entirely different things next to each other and say see? here's the ways they're similar. here's how you can sort them into the same category. here's the lines you can draw between them. and as ursula k leguin said a story is just one big metaphor. the novelist must express in words what cannot be expressed in words.

ND people are also often drawn to fiction because its a condensed or simplified or hyperreal version of real life. you can read a novel or watch a film or tv show and watch how the characters behave and talk. they describe how they're feeling inside. you can see how one event or action leads to another. its a way to learn how the world works so you can copy it. it teaches you how other people think and it teaches you how they feel and how to feel yourself as well. which is kind of the entire point of fiction anyway but autistic people seem to have a special affinity for it. also we are always right.

EDIT: autistic people especially learn by copying or mirroring. often we learn a skill especially a social skill by copying someone else. when i go into an unfamiliar shop or social event i take time to watch what everyone else is doing first so i can copy how you’re ‘supposed’ to behave. fiction is so useful for this because you can do it in the comfort of your own home and you can pause or rewind or repeat as many times as you need. and so often it’s unconscious as well! it’s not like i said to myself ‘i have no idea how relationships work so i’m going to read pride and prejudice to find out’ but i did learn from these books first and not like. my ‘intuition’ from the world around me. we naturally seek to learn what we don’t know even unconsciously

‘classic’ literature (which most people use to mean victorian novels) seems to have a particular draw for some autistic people as well and it definitely did for me. i think it’s because the preoccupation of the novel in the nineteenth century was with human behaviour, relationships, psychology, social questions etc. especially the ‘novel of manners’ or the ‘social problem novel’ types, austen and dickens etc. there’s less focus on melodrama, unreality, it’s very much a genre that deals with real people in real situations. i soaked it up like a sponge lol. i think this is where the weirdo austen obsession comes from also. you know the kind of people who r like ‘ooh i love jane austen everyone had such good manners in ye old days’ girl you are just searching for a world with discrete social rules that make sense. ALSO i’m convinced this is where weeb/koreaboo/anglophile/any other fetishisation of another culture comes from. obviously an interest in another culture is nothing bad in itself but can so easily tip into creepy fetishisation. if you take japanese culture for example there’s very strict ‘rules’ that seem to apply to that culture that an autistic person might latch onto as easy to follow eg. honorifics & associated dynamics, bowing, etc etc. obviously japanese culture is just as varied and complex as our own but from the limited/xenophobic perspective of the western weeb it becomes kind of like a game. there’s such a temptation with autistic people where you kind of go ‘well i don’t fit into my culture but if i went to this other culture which has very clear rules that i could follow i would be happy’. which is obviously a temptation which must be resisted because it’s a) untrue and b) usually racist

also why autistic people are especially drawn to fandoms! every fandom has its own rules and lingo and once you learn them you’re good to go! and because a fandom is a very small and closed system focused on one thing it’s like a little mini world with very few rules that is easy to navigate. and the people in the fandom have the same interest as you so they’re not going to reject you and you always have talking points

CONVINCED this is why kpop has such a grip on people here lol. compared to western artists the kpop system is so structured like there’s a limited number of companies, there’s a very specific pipeline the band goes through, there’s very specific roles within the band they’re supposed to adhere to, success is measured by specific awards or streaming goals. it’s kind of gamified and you KNOW how gamification is euphoric to the ND brain. also autistic people love numbers and stats so i can see why some people on twitter are obsessed with that kind of thing. have more to say on this subject but that would expose me as Knowing Things About Kpop 💀

wow that was long and a lot of its not really relevant but ig these are just some thoughts it inspired. again not all of it applies to all ND people and it might apply to some NT people, but this is how my brain in particular works and i've seen enough that it seems to be the case for a fairly big proportion of other ND people too. thanks!

#sorry abt the delay too -_-#sorry i’m adding as i think of things #brain tag

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chromatophorica · 2 years

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sigh.

man. i hope u folx never need to deal with actual honest to god racism in ur lives, cause i think it might actually kill u on the spot.

genuinely tho. last thing i’m saying about this whole saga and then i’m saving us all by deleting anything u come to my ask box with cause omg i feel like i might actually be all that keeps u productive by stopping engaging with u. or i could hire a robot to fight with u i guess. i bet it’d be the same response.

anyway; i’ve stated a few times that my issue with the ppd line isn’t solely chim (scroll dooooown) but y’all are circling it around to ‘he’s asian and they’re saying bad things so they are a racist’ (genuinely, hope u don’t meet a racist, it’s disgusting and it’s certainly not gentle ‘this person did this wrong’ when it’s racism) but i still tagged it ‘anit-chim’ so that people who didn’t want to read something where chim is held to his canon actions (remember, this is 5.02, aggression is never mentioned, if anything, chimney is passive af in this cause he’s talking not swinging) and a psa was made about ‘not including my work’, which i accepted because freedom of speech (which apparently is also racist if i’ve read that right?) which means the person can exclude whatever they want from this public event meant to focus on the siblings and not on their significant others but i digress (i might be being racist again because i’m not including a coc and a potential shipper coc or just a woman i apparently self insert? still confused on that matter).

i was then told that only doug kendall can possibly be the bad person and how dare white savior be used (despite this literally being about two siblings who are white and one of the prompts is literally how the save each other but who am i to ask for some kind of consistency in this matter!) and that i really shouldn’t use chimney and his canon actions (again, 5.02, not like what... 5.05 was it? fuck idk they’ve blended together cause man was 5a a cluster bomb of wtf).

so i’m not being included in a public event because my work is (apparently) racist (possibly even those things i wrote before i wrote that one they didn’t like which they had no problem reblogging, maybe i hid my racism while writing about that cute little baby or that time the guy i apparently was literally the non-white savior? idk confusion. not consistent at all) and they don’t want to ‘promote’ it? idk i don’t come here to promote much, this is the most i’ve ever used my blog, i honestly forget i have it a lot. tumblr is kinda rabid y’know.

now i will say, whatev. don’t reblog, block me, ignore me, it’s all whatever at the end of the day. however when you remove someone’s comments to you and only allow people to see what you are saying, it creates a kind of vibe. you know. like a conservative-right republican vibe where if you hide what the other side is saying... they’re not saying it?

in closing (and damn idk if i even said everything i came to say, cause this disaster fire is still confusing) call me racist all you want; i know i’m not, i know the people who know me know i’m not (although thanks for reading my fic and totally agreeing with your friend who you’re 100% not biased for or anything, that single hit meant the world to me) and most of the people who read my fic and see the manner in which the character is portrayed (cough-canonly-cough) (again, still 5.02 so it has nothing to do with that other canon thing that i’m not even touching at this point)(might do it tomorrow, i haven’t yet decided, my spite it being drained by the soft gentle love of a kitty) my spite is not so that anyone will read my work. or that you’ll need to see it in your blogs.

my spite thrives in knowing, i can write my silly little fic, i can be a total spoon and make it *the worst* characterisation in the history of tumblr or ao3 (and i think i’d deserve an award for that), and i can come along in here, and post it and tag it *correctly* so that no one is surprised when they enter it, so that no one is like ‘omg i didn’t see this coming this author is so rude not tagging their shit’ and it’s gonna sit there. in your event. with the tag you hate so vehemently that you started a very stupid little squabble about it.

and i just got my daily writing goal. neat.

#fandom discourse #anons up in my hoohaa #legit idk if these people are watching the same show as me #can i get their cut?#ps yes i do support not-evil jonah #cause god how boring is it to have another lame ass white guy being the villain #like shit #they do know other people aspire to villain hood right #it don't always gotta be the dumbass white guy having some evil master plan #it's gonna take someone a hell of a lot more cunning to get one over on athena fucking grant

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dokidokey · 4 years

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cabbage babies

－ when bokuto, your usual customer and friend who is a sunshine on a rainy day comes to your store looking like a hurricane brewing, he realizes that maybe getting rejected was for the better.

pairings: bokuto koutaro x kayla (reader)

genre: fluff, angst, f2l

warnings: swearing, an asshole for a customer, a pinch of jealousy, pining, bo gets rejected lol

word count: 4,941

notes: @janellion KAYLAAAAA SORRY THIS IS SO LATE this is inspired by that post u reblogged before, that hcs of hq boys bringing u flowers and bokuto gives u succulents instead! i can’t stop thinking about that :( this is a very very very late happy birthday post (*￣︶￣) happy late late late birthday kayla baby the love of my life i hope u like it (。’▽’。)♡

“Hi Y/N!” Bokuto Koutaro’s voice booms inside the small space of your shop. You look up from the small succulent you are transferring to a bigger pot and smile up at him. “Can I get one of those cabbage babies again, please?”

You throw your head back to laugh, the familiar name he adapted to calling succulents creating a wave of nostalgia to wash over you. The first time the bubbly boy entered your shop and looked for cute, small plants to give to this girl he likes, he pertained to succulents as cabbage babies.

“Hi!” His voice had boomed inside your little shop on a sunny, Tuesday afternoon. He was wearing a loose white shirt and some jersey shorts, a bag hanging on his right shoulder. He anxiously fiddled with his fingers before locking eyes with you. “Do you, uh, have those. . . those plants that look like cabbage babies?”

It felt as though your brain malfunctioned for a brief amount of time. “What?” You said, and you felt more dumbfounded than he was that moment. The boy with gray streaks on his hair looked down in embarrassment. “Ah! Forget I said anything, I’m so sorry, I’ll just leave!”

“No, no, no!” You were quick to scamper over the counter to stop him from opening the door and fleeing. You were. . . quite intrigued about these － these cabbage babies. Sure, many other customers came into your shop calling all kinds of plants these weird names but cabbage babies is new. You’ve never heard that before. You found it quite endearing.

“Can you describe these. . . cabbage babies to me?”

The man happily did with his eyes bright, hands animatedly flying everywhere. You took that time to take him in and you realize just how tall he was. You barely reach his shoulders. God, this man was huge. His arms were nearly popping out of the sleeves of his white shirt. You had to remind yourself that you were supposed to help him with this cabbage babies situation and totally not to admire just how attractive he is.

Or both. Both could work. You were a proud multitasker

He stopped mid-sentence to fish his phone out of his pockets. “Here! Sorry, I forgot I had a picture of that. . . This! These things!” He flips his phone to show you the screen and it displays an arrangement of different kinds of succulents. You almost slapped your forehead for being so slow. Yes, of course, cabbage babies. They did look a lot like cabbage babies.

So you led him to the small entrance of your shop after locking the doors. Not very convenient, you know, that if this overly-enthusiastic man is somehow hiding some ill intent, then you’re screwed. But you can’t think of him that way with the way his smile widened when he entered the small greenhouse in the back of your shop, littered with everything green and growing. He was so eager to jump from plant to plant to examine each one.

“Oh, this one is pretty!” He exclaimed, pointer finger caressing the soft pink tips of the succulent. He looked at you with a smile. “What’s this called?”

“That’s a Sunrise.”

Bokuto bought the little succulent in a pot, bouncing on the ball of his feet as he cradled it in his hands. He asked you what your name was and you asked him his, and that was when he said it was for this girl he likes. You were thinking about how lucky this girl must be, having a guy like Bokuto liking her so much that even the mere mention of her name has his eyes twinkling and his overall demeanor changing in excitement. All the while you were writing his receipt and his little reminder on the neon green sticky note he spotted on your desk and gingerly pointed to, claiming his penmanship is shit and what if she thinks it’s ugly?

He stuck the little note on the pot and went on his way, waving you goodbye. He came back the next week, talking your ear off about how much she liked the succulent. He purchased another one that day, a small cactus called Bunny Ears. He came back the week after that, and the week after, and the week after, buying a Kiwi, Mexican Firecracker, and Afterglow, in that order.

Now Bokuto is here again, his familiar bag draped over his right shoulder, clad in a white shirt and the same jersey shorts he wore the first time he came here.

“What would you want this time?” You ask, wiping your dirty hands on the apron wrapped around you and pushing the greenhouse door open. Bokuto follows you, eyes raking over the countless plants in the small space like he’s seeing it all for the first time. He hums and walks over to the rack of succulents in the corner.

He’s just staring at the pots, hands on his knees, worrying his lip. You’re worried too because Bokuto is quiet. It seems a little uncharacteristic of him to be quiet, especially if it’s about these plants that he loves giving to this girl, who you learned is their manager after a few late walks, talks, and eating out together. You also learned that he is a member of the MSBY Black Jackals, which you have heard before but aren’t that familiar with because you have little to no experience or interest in sports.

“Hey, Bo?” You’re a few steps away from him, fiddling with your fingers. “Is, um, something wrong? You’re so quiet.”

His smile is back at the sound of your voice, like you just pulled him out of this headspace and in his usual, cheery voice, says, “I. . . kind of, want to take her out on a － a date. You know,” he huffs out a breath nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. “I feel like she’s not getting the hints of these gifts so might as well tell her I like her and go for it, right?” He beams.

You nod and tell him yes, that’s great, ignoring the way your chest tightens, brushing off the fact that you, unfortunately, like Bokuto Koutaro. He isn’t that hard to like, anyway. His energy is so infectious, along with these little antics that are quite too much but you very much adore. He’s told you one time how some people think he was too much, like Bokuto was something they should but cannot keep from their palms. And they are right. Bokuto is too much, but for you, it is in the best way possible.

You actually met two of his friends before when he asked you if you wanted to eat somewhere after you closed your shop, two weeks ago. He took you to this restaurant called Onigiri Miya, who he said was owned by his teammate’s twin, Atsumu. There, you met Akaashi Keiji, his old setter and vice captain from high school. In the end, Osamu didn’t let any of you pay, saying everything was in the house. You insisted though, of course, but Bokuto, with a very pleased smile, shushed you.

Akaashi even thought you and Bokuto where in a relationship, which hurt, to be frank, on your part, because Bokuto was so quick to deny it. He received quite the judgemental raise of an eyebrow from the younger boy and just a frown from Osamu when he revealed who he liked.

You came back to Osamu’s restaurant just last week, and you love every food that man makes. Literally heaven on earth.

“I’ll drop by again later. Do you want to go to Osamu’s again?” The spiky-haired man who kind of just broke your heart asks. “My treat!” He says proudly, then his smile falters. “If she, uh, agrees, that is.”

You hum, stepping closer to him to take a look at the small grasshopper resting on the large leaf of the Golden Pothos next to your rack of succulents. You were about to answer him when the bell signaling someone entered your shop rings. Bokuto forgot to lock the door, great, and you frowned at him, which he responded to with just a smile before you both went inside.

There’s a man wandering the small space of your shop, whistling as he looks around with his hands tucked in the pockets of his pants. Despite the negative energy this customer is radiating, you have no choice but to accommodate him. “Hello,” you greet politely, putting aside the plant bag where the succulent you were transferring before Bokuto came was placed. “How can I help you?”

“Oh, this shop’s got a cute owner, alright,” he chuckles, and you might as well have screamed at him to leave. But you plastered a tight smile on your face as you ask again, “is there anything you want? A plant, maybe? I have－”

You don’t get to finish what you want to say when the sound of his lighter flicking on cuts you off. Your head is quick to turn to Bokuto, who has a frown on his face. You clear your throat and point to the No Smoking sign hanging beside the door.

“Uh, sir, if you don’t mind, if you’re going to smoke, please do it outside. This is a non-smoking area.”

He puffs out a billow of smoke and it takes everything in you not to scream at him to get the fuck out. Customers that do not consider shop owners’ signs and policies are not and never will be welcome in your store. Before you can talk again and try to send him off as politely as you can, Bokuto beats you to it.

“They said get out if you’re going to smoke.”

You almost lose your mind with how serious and scary Bokuto sounds. You always see him with this giddy and happy aura around and to hear him be this serious for the first time is quite unnerving. You are so lucky to not be on the receiving end of this. . . this Bokuto.

The suspicious man clicks his tongue, inhaling and exhaling another puff of smoke. “Ah, too bad. Is the little shop owner taken?”

You purse your lips momentarily before firmly pointing at the door. “Get out.”

“Not the best way to treat a potential customer, hun,” he smirks. Your eyes zeroes in on the ash that falls on your tiled floor. If this fucking man does not leave in the next two minutes, you swear yo－

“Just leave, man.” There Bokuto is again. You thank all there is to thank that Bokuto is here. If this man came in here without him and just you, you aren’t sure what you would do. It’s not like you to judge people easily, but you are always quick to sense if the person is genuine or not.

The man just raises his eyebrows at Bokuto before his eyes flits over to you. He says nothing as he turns on his back and pushes the door open. From behind you, Bokuto notices how you visibly relax as the man slowly disappears from your line of vision. You turn to him with your eyebrows in a pinch. “I’m so glad you’re here, what the fuck, if that man came in without you I’d probably lose my mind.”

Bokuto just smiles, adjusting his bag on his shoulder before placing a large hand over your head and patting the top of your head.

“I told you, you need at least another staff here in case things like that happens again,” he looks pointedly at you before adding in a low voice, “but that should never happen again.”

“I know,” you roll your eyes, putting your hands on your hips. “But I can’t find anyone yet. That’d be more convenient because I’ll be able to entertain more than one customer at a time.”

Bokuto brushes past you to lock the door and walks back inside the greenhouse, immediately cradling a Blue Rose. A grin blooms on your face as you call, “maybe you can drop out of that volleyball career and help me instead.”

There is a brief pause in your surroundings, as if what you said stopped everything and you’re wondering if you somehow stepped over a line, that maybe Bokuto took offense in what you said, but he turns back to you, smiles and says, “yes! I love these small plants, anyways. Maybe I’ll grab Hinata with me and there’ll be three of us.”

Oh. Oh wow. Bokuto is inspecting the tiny plant in his hands with stars in his eyes. He looks ethereal under the sunlight filtering through the glass, his features looking a little sharper than usual. How lucky, you think, that in less than eight hours or so, the possibility of him getting together with their manager will become higher. There’s a little voice in the back of your head quietly wishing it will end up opposite of what Bokuto wants, and you’re berating yourself for being selfish. You’d like to keep Bokuto to yourself a little bit longer than this. You’d like to keep Bokuto without the thought of him sharing what little time he has for you with his girlfriend.

The guilt only intensifies when he locks his gold eyes with yours, eyebrows quirked upward. “Or I can also bring Miyoko-san! We’ll grow cabbage babies together and maybe expand your shop so you can have more plants.” He says it all as if it will happen. As if he’ll really drop his volleyball career to take care of plants with you instead.

You just smile softly, wringing your hands together and trying to keep your emotions at bay. “Are you taking that?” He nods, and you tilt your head to signal him to follow you back inside. You take the stack of sticky notes, which grew a lot more thinner since Bokuto showed up, waiting for whatever he will say for you to write. To you surprise, he holds his palm up, and you look up at him in confusion as you place the paper in his hands.

“I want to write it this time,” his eyes crinkles in delight, “to make it a little more special for Miyoko-san.”

There goes your heart breaking all the way. God, why can’t you have someone like Bokuto do that to you? Why can’t Bokuto do that to you? The things you’d give to experience what it’s like to have him fawn over you like this.

“There!” He rips the small note and sticks it to the ceramic pot. “I hope she says yes,” he frowns, and your melancholy is quickly flying out the window when his hair droops. Nothing in this world will make you panic more than the sight of his usually spiky slacking.

“I’m sure she will!” You’re scampering over the counter the way you did when you held him off the first time he came here. “She’s wasting such a precious person if she ever says no, you know. She’s very lucky to have you. I’m sure she knows just how lucky she is to have you like this as you are.”

Your words didn’t go to waste as Bo’s vibrant smile blossoms on his face. He’s pulling you into a tight hug before and he’s out the door before you know it. You’re left here once again.

Being alone wasn’t so. . . so lonely before. But ever since Bokuto frequents your shop before and after practice, whenever he leaves, it’s as though he is leaving behind a great hole no one can ever fill in. Like he’s taking all the space from you to make you realize just how lonely it is without him.

So you wait, like you always do. You wait for the excruciating eight hours for him to come back and talk about whatever it is that happened during their training. You expect him to come bouncing inside the store all sunshine and wide smiles, but as you’re mopping the floor, the glass doors open and Bokuto Koutaro looks the saddest you have ever seen him.

“Bo!” You shuffle to set the mop against the wall and take his face in your palms. “What happened? Why are you so－”

“She’s dating ’Tsumu,” he whispers dejectedly, his forehead finding its way on your shoulder. There’s an audible gasp from you as the weight settles on your skin, and you notice then that he is still holding the small potted plant he bought this morning, the sticky note nowhere to be seen. You gently take it from him, your fingers brushing against each other before he links his pinky with yours.

You wonder if Bokuto can hear just how much your heart is bartering against your ribcage; or if he can feel the rush of blood through your veins; or maybe he can feel just how stiff you are from your posture. But you let him curl his pinky finger with yours, your other hand cupping the ceramic pot.

“All this time. . .” His breath is hot against your skin. “They were together all this time and I didn’t even know.”

Your voice is soft as you ask, “how did you know?”

“Saw them kiss,” he mumbles.

If this is what it’s like having Bokuto all to yourself without the thought of sharing his time with his girlfriend, then you take it back. This is so much worse than what you expected and the guilt in your chest for wishing he somehow gets rejected is enough to choke you. Just how cruel can you be to ask for his dedicated time when it would mean he will hurt like this?

“Bo,” you whisper. He says nothing. “Bo,” you try again, and this time he hums. “Look at me, please.” The ruffle of his hair as he shakes his head tickles your neck. You have no choice but to cup your right palm on his cheek to lift his head up, the back of your left hand holding the ceramic pot making contact with his other cheek. There is a glossy haze in his eyes as he stares at you, looking like a lost puppy with the way his hair is frowning.

“Now who’s this sad little guy in my shop, hm?” You pat his cheek gently. “I’ll treat you to some ice cream,” you offer, completely disregarding what he said this morning about going to Osamu’s again. You’re pretty sure seeing someone who looks like Atsumu at this moment is not a good idea. Bokuto’s lips are still curled down and you bring your thumb to the side of his mouth, softly pushing the end at an upward motion. “My poor boy.”

You’re kind of bitter, to say the least. Of what though, you don’t know. Or who. But as Bokuto walks beside you all quiet with his hands in his pockets, an aching hatred blossoms at your chest. You know it wasn’t that girl Miyoko’s fault, or anyone, really, but you don’t know how to project the bitter feeling it leaves in your stomach. Bokuto, of all people? He deserves to be happy. If happy means having a girlfriend and his time and attention for you decreasing, then you’ll gladly take it.

You push the doors of the ice cream shop a few streets away from your store, going for the booths at the back. Bokuto is still quiet and you’re close to pulling your hair out because his silence is choking you. You sit down beside him after handing him his “whatever, you can decide” ice cream.

“So. . .” You start, lightly stabbing your cup with the plastic spoon. “Are you okay?”

That is the dumbest question you have ever asked.

“No,” he mumbles, his own spoon dangling on his mouth, “but I will be.”

God, yes, you can almost cry from relief. At least Bokuto is not as beat up as you thought he is. You hum, taking a bite out of your dessert and turn to look at him. “There are plenty of other people who will be more than happy to love you, Bo. If she’s happy with Atsumu then that is good, right? Maybe she just isn’t the one for you.”

There is a faraway look in the ace’s eyes and you wonder if he even heard what you said. You got your answer when he says, “I know.” He pauses, then sighs, and looks at you. The frown on his face is gone, but he isn’t exactly happy either. There’s just the littlest hint of a smile on his face. “I know, Y/N. And I don’t know, I’ve been having these. . . these weird feelings lately?”

Your eyebrows rise at that. What now? “Like?” You softly prod.

Bokuto groans and presses his forehead on the table, his arms covering his hair. “No,” he whines, “I don’t want to tell.”

You scoff, slapping his arm. “What do you mean you don’t want to tell! You say things like that and now that I want to know more, you leave me out?”

He groans again. He honestly just sounds like a big baby, which he is, but you don’t mind because he’s slowly reverting back to his usual self. “I don’t know if I like someone else or not.”

Okay, wow, well, that kinda stings.

“Who?”

“I’m not sure yet so I’m not going to tell you!”

You huff, dipping your spoon in his cup and spooning a decent amount of ice cream off. “Okay, yeah, whatever, but you better tell me soon,” you glare.

You actually would rather not! But if that person is the key to really make Bokuto happy, then you’re all for it.

It is kind of crazy, and scary too, thinking about how Bokuto was just another customer on that certain Tuesday. The one-time buying turned into daily visits, and daily visits turned into dinners, strolls, to meeting his friends. You didn’t see that far into the future to even consider that Bokuto will be this important in your life, yet here you are.

And there you are when he invites you to one of his volleyball practices because Hinata’s been pestering him about meeting you. You meet Atsumu and their manager, Miyoko, who is a total sweetheart. And there isn’t even tension between the teammates, all of Bokuto’s heartbreak quickly passing. Oliver, the team’s spiker, even hit you accidentally on the back of the head one time, which resulted in the whole team fussing over you.

It’s been over three weeks since Bo came back to your shop looking like hurricane personified. Today is another Tuesday, a rainy one at that, and you’re fondly looking outside the window as raindrops pelt the ground. Your surprise is evident when you see Bokuto waving at you outside.

“What are you doing here?” You ask quizzically, watching him shake his umbrella before stuffing it on the rack. He grins at you, all sunshine and happy. “It’s my day off!”

“And?” You rest your chin on your palms.

“I’m gonna buy cabbage babies again.”

It pulls a lighthearted laugh out of you. It seems so long ago since Bokuto came here, usually asking for his cabbage babies and nostalgia swallows you whole. It comes with the cold, hard realization that cabbage babies mean he is going to give this to that person he likes.

Your heart cracks in time with the lightning that lit up the gray surroundings.

“So when do you plan to tell me about this person, hm?” You inquire, standing up from your seat behind the counter and opening the greenhouse door. Bokuto follows after locking the entrance.

“Soon,” he says, giddy, “real, real soon, I promise!”

Real, real soon before your heart breaks again.

“Pick away,” you gesture to the succulents awaiting him, and he picks out an Aloe Vera and a pink succulent (not Sunrise.) “You want that?” He nods. You both go back inside and hand him the sticky note that’s been collecting dust on the corner of the counter. Bokuto is extremely hyper today, almost shaking in his giddiness. You huff, resting your face on your palms once again. “You buy cabbage babies but don’t tell me who it’s for. Okay. I’m totally not upset.”

Bokuto’s laughter fills the quiet of your little store, his head thrown back as he rips two notes and sticks it to the pots. “Real soon, Y/N, I promise. Just wait.”

You’d rather not, but you pout in reluctance, nodding. “Ju－”

“’Tsumu’s calling!” He shouts above the loud ringing of his phone that interrupted you. “What? But it’s our day off,” he whines on the phone, and you take this time to admire him again － the quirky arch of his brows, his bright, golden eyes, his lips that almost never loses that smile you love. He’s literally so breathtaking and you have to slowly let this man go despite never having him, in a romantic sense, in the first place. You have to tell yourself that having him like this, as a friend, will be more than enough.

He frowns at you as he ends the call, grabbing his umbrella. “Something came up and now we have a meeting,” he informs, and you purse your lips and nod in agreement.

“You take care,” you bid softly, waving a hand. Bokuto waves too before he’s out of your shop and into the rain. You sigh sadly, staring off outside, the gloomy weather worsening your melancholy. You don’t know how long you’ve been thinking or staring before you lean back on your seat, and it’s then you see the little Aloe Vera and succulent Bokuto purchased, staring at you. You slap your forehead in disbelief, a humorless laugh bubbling out of your throat.

“What the hell, Bo,” you mutter, curiously scooting forward to read the little notes he carefully wrote out earlier. Nothing in this world could have woken you up from your shock, your little heart stuttering in your chest. You shake your head, close your eyes, before reading his writing again.

aloe you vera much, Y/N :) says the sticky note on the Aloe Vera pot. i’d love to raise lots of cabbage babies with you ♡ says the other one.

“Fuck,” you squeak, taking the plants in your hands and reading it again. “Fuck, what the fuck.”

Your hands are shaking as you reach for your phone, ready to call him and demand just what the hell this trick he is pulling but a customer suddenly barges in, and you have you act normal through the chaos in your mind as the old woman asks you three dozens of small, ceramic pots, two dozens of brown, plastic pots, and seven pieces of large pots. After successfully entertaining your customer without breaking a pot despite your shaking hands, you call Bokuto.

He didn’t answer your seven calls.

You had to wait three ungodly hours before he came back, a soft smile gracing his face. “Hi,” he says quietly, gauging your reaction, “did you see the－”

You kiss him. After almost two months of meeting him, you finally, finally did what you wanted to do four weeks ago. His lips are soft on yours, a little hesitant at first, before you move your hands from his cheek to the back of his neck, pulling him closer. There’s a sense of urgency in his kisses, a little rushed, a little fiery, but it was perfect.

He pulls away and nudges his nose on the side of yours.

“You saw, huh?” He huffs lightly.

“I did,” you reply, just as quiet.

“Been wanting to say that since the ice cream shop.”

You pinch the skin on the back of his neck and Bokuto yelps. If you only knew this is how it will end, you would have wished he told you about it right then and there. You would have wanted to know it then. But soon never came this early, and you’re thankful you didn’t have to wait eight, long hours like when he has trainings.

“So the call?”

His eyes are crescent moons in the middle of noon. “No meetings, all plans.”

You shake your head in light mirth and disbelief, pecking him once on the lips before untangling your arms on his neck. He kisses the tip of your nose affectionately before you could fully pull away. Your heart clenches in your chest and it hurts so good. You finally have Bokuto, you couldn’t ask for more.

You grin as you stare up at him, eyes looking like two little hearts. “Aloe you too vera much,” you sputter between giggles. Red smears Bokuto’s neck and ears, and your giggles turn to laughter. He kisses you to shut you up, which is, unfortunately and fortunately, successful.

“So,” you start, wringing your hands together, just wanting to be clear between what this is between the two of you. “Are we, like, dating?”

He tilts his head. “Gotta take you out on a date first though, right?” He beams, and you smile shyly, stomach fluttering with the idea of going on cute, little dates with him.

His phone rings once again, and he scowls as he sees Atsumu’s contact displayed on the screen.

“What do you want?”

“Are ye guys finally dating?” Asks the setter, and you plant your face in your palms in slight embarrassment. It only heightens when you hear Hinata’s bubbly voice in the background.

Bokuto laughs, a warm sound that surrounds the small space of your shop, battling with the gloomy weather outside. “We are,” he smiles, softly grazing his thumb on your cheek. “We are.”

more notes: if there are errors i am so sorry i wrote the first half of this panicking because i missed kayla’s birthday and the other half earlier at 4 am because i can’t sleep lmao

#i many many lobe you kayla 😾#bokuto koutaro #bokuto koutaro fluff #bokuto koutaro angst #bokuto #bokuto angst #bokuto fluff #haikyuu!!#hq!!#haikyuu #haikyuu angst #haikyuu fluff #hq #hq fluff #hq angst #msby black jackals #kielle writes

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heyheshi · 4 years

Text

"Baby, we're going to have our own family!"

2.9k words

written and uploaded: July 13, 2020

🦋 - fluff

🌙 - angst...?

Please like and reblog! Also please don’t post my writings anywhere!

Also this was supposed to be really short, like just about 700 words but I couldn’t help it!

Masterlist

Part 1

Part 2

_________

"H, are you sure you want to go to the doctors with me?", you asked your husband for the third time in the last 30 minutes.

"Baby stop doing that!", furrowing his eyebrows as he looks at you accusingly - talking about how you're asking him that question again and about your food as you toy it around your plate using your fork.

Earlier after he woke up, Harry made sure that your day starts off as great as possible. He's so giddy. He knows that this day is going to be wonderful. He can just feel it - and so he made sure to wake you up with his kisses and a huge variety of healthy breakfast.

By "huge variety of healthy breakfast", that meant different slices of fresh fruits and organic vegetables, whole-wheat bread, cereals, yogurt, scrambled eggs, bacon (your absolute favorite and he cannot forget to add that), freshly squeezed orange juice, fresh cow milk, and mixed nuts.

He really went all the way with your meal and you're really thankful for that. 2 months ago, you would think that the two of you can't finish all of this food in just one sitting but how wrong could you be? Harry ate a lot but you're kind of having almost the same portion as him, not that he minds, he wants to keep you as healthy as possible for the baby on the way even though you told him that you're not certain about it just yet.

He made sure to talk to the hotel's head chef just to prepare your breakfast and strictly said "just the best and freshest once for my wife and make sure not to add any preservatives, just all-natural", and that's how you got here.

He even insisted on not ordering a coffee for you. You LOVE your morning coffee but H said that it's not good for your heart - which is true. You think he's being kind of dramatic and overprotective but you like it a lot.

It seems like everything he does is way too great; hormones. But it's not like you're gonna admit it to him anyway, it'll boost his ego more, your husband is narcissistic.

"Babe, babeeee, baby??!", you came back into reality. You didn't even notice that Harry has been snapping his fingers in front of your eyes.

"Sorry, just got ca-"

"Too caught up in my handsome looks, huh?", your husband winks at you, he always teases you!

You just rolled your eyes at his antics, "course not!", you said defensively. "Was just thinking! Plus, I wasn't even staring at you!"

"Yeah sure lovie. What's on that pretty little head of yours, hmm?", he leaned his elbows on the table and put his head on his hand.

"Just thinking 'bout how you took my morning coffee away and thinking 'bout what my lunch's gonna be."

"Stop bein' grumpy", he just chuckled at your answer, knowing your sarcasm really well, "just finish your breakfast so we can leave. Already called the clinic for our appointment. It's at 10 a.m., I don't wanna be late.", he just continued eating his part but you're the exact opposite - you froze.

"You what?"

"What? Said finish your food... and that I booked our appointment...?", he asked uncertainty. He's really confused right now and you are too! You're not even sure why you're confused, you just are. Maybe over the fact that H is so excited about this and you might not even be pregnant.

Of course, you're happy with how he's acting. You're just worried that this might just be a false alarm and it will crush him so much.

"Why did you?", you looked down at your plate then quickly stuffing your mouth with the rest of your food while Harry answered.

"Just wanna be the best dad and husband you could ever ask for", he sounds sad, he really thought that you would be happy, you already talked about going to the doctors last night anyways!

"Okay.", you shortly replied and stood up to your seat rounding the table. Harry felt his chest tightening - too much - he thought, until he felt your arms around his neck from behind and tucking your face on his neck. He quickly interlaced your fingers with his.

"I love you", you quietly whispered to his right ear. "You don't know how much this means to me, you're already the best, gunna be the best dad.", you pressed a kiss on his neck. "I just don't want you to get hurt if I'm not pregnant.", your voice seemed to get quieter with each word.

Harry just stood up from his seat and faced you, "whatever happens, we're going to be okay, alright? If we're not pregnant then it's fine, I'm not going to lie and say that I won't be affected by it because I know I will be, but let's always keep in mind that God already has better plans for us, okay?", he leaned in to kiss your forehead.

You just squeezed your face in his shirt, "I'm scared of another heartbreak. I really want this with you.", you said and Harry felt his shirt getting damp.

"Nothing's going to change. I'll still love you more than ever and will always be here to take care of you", he's now whispering while wiping your tears. Everything about this is so intimate. "I love you too, so much Y/N", with that, more tears fall as you kissed him like your life depends on it.

---

"Patient 104, the doctor is ready to see you.", you heard the nurse called your number.

With shaking limbs, you managed to stand up and walk to the doctor's office while Harry assisted you.

"Mister and missus Styles! It's so nice to meet you in person! I'm Doctor Amelia Welsh, just Doc Amy", your doctor looks friendly and it eased you a bit.

"Harry", your husband shook the doctor's hand then slowly turned to you, "and this is my wife, Y/N.", you smiled as you shook her hand.

"Such a lovely couple! Anyway, you called last night, right Harry?", Doctor Amy asked as she sat on her spinning chair while you and Harry take a seat on the opposite side of her table.

"I did, yes. We wanted to have a check-up on my wife", your husband did all the talking, you know he can sense your nervousness.

You're eyes slowly observed the clinic. It almost looked identical to yours, with the office table on the middle and a medical bed on the far left side of the office and a rack full of different medical supplies, the only difference is that your clinic has so many baby pictures and toys for your patients to play around with.

"Okay, so what seems to be the problem? I already got a hold of your medical records, Mrs. Styles, or should I call you Doctor Styles too?", Doctor Amy joked and it made you chuckle a bit.

"I'm a patient right now so I'll just stick with Mrs. Styles", you felt Harry squeezed your hand that he's holding and you smiled to yourself. He always loves it when you claim your self as "Mrs. Styles". He said it makes him all warm and fuzzy and makes him just wanna love on you all day, every day.

"Why don't you tell me what's wrong."

"Ummm okay, so I've been eating a lot - more than usual, it can be because of stress since I'm a stress - eater...", you took a deep breath and look at Harry then back at her, "also I've been feeling nauseated and often having sickness, but in the afternoon not morning so I thought it might be my eyesight."

"Hmm okay please continue", the Doctor continues jotting down on her note pad at a fast pace, you understand it tho, you do the same stuff every day.

"I'm more often bloated than not but this one's different, my abdomen looks bigger than usual..."

"When was the last time you had your period? I know your period is irregular but I still need to know", the doctor pulled her glasses down on the bridge of her nose.

"I think it was November...", you're really not sure, you gave up on tracking your period when it downed to you that your period is never gonna be regular at all.

"Last time you had sexual intercourse?", your face feels hot but you know that these kind of questions are relevant, on your side you can see Harry's ears become reddish.

As if your husband can sense that you're not going to answer that question, he stepped up even though he's shy about it, "last night."

It's not that the two of you are embarrassed about your sex life, it's the opposite actually, you just want to keep it private.

Doctor Welsh just smiled at both of your embarrassment, "well how long had you been feeling this? Did you took a pregnancy test?", she looked back down and continued scribbling.

"Just this January, I never really paid much attention, and I did, a couple of weeks ago, 12 positives and 3 negatives."

"Okay well, why don't we take a look? You can change into this gown and lay in there", she said giving you the gown and pointing at the bed on her clinic, "I'll be back in a few."

You looked at Harry and as if he can hear the voices inside your head, he pulled you into him and kissed your cheek, "we'll be alright", he smiled at you but you can tell that he's really nervous too.

You both are, this is the break it or make it time of your lives. You're not sure if you're ready for it but you shook your thoughts out of your mind and changed into the gown and went to the bed, Harry hot on your heels, quickly took a seat beside the bed and held your right hand.

"I love you", he whispered, he thinks he's as nervous as the first time he auditioned on the X-Factor, when he asked you to become his girlfriend, or when he asked you to become his wife, all combined.

"I love you too", you kissed his knuckles as he smiled at you.

It didn't take long for the doctor to come back.

"Ready?", she asked and you nodded. She set the machine up and made sure you're comfortable before putting the gel on your tummy.

Nobody dared to make a sound and you never dare to look anywhere besides Harry's eyes as he presses his lips on your palm.

"Okay...", you hear the doctor mumbled that made you whip your head up to her.

You looked at the monitor and saw it, there's a heartbeat. You knew what exactly it was but your husband doesn't since he never accompanied someone to an ultrasound appointment before.

And then the silent room heard it, the heartbeat.

"Wa- was that...", Harry slowly looked at you with red eyes.

"Yes", you whispered while nodding your head.

This is it.

"Oh wait", the doctor said suddenly, you froze, this can't be happening! There's nothing wrong with anything! Everything is fine!

You never dared to look at the monitor and Harry too, much too scared of hearing the next words that will come out of the doctor's mouth.

You're finally pregnant and you're going to love your child with everything you have and you just hope there's nothing wrong with your baby.

"What was it?", Harry asked in a croaked voice, still not looking up.

"Well, I'm seeing... not one, but two heartbeats!"

Both of your heads snapped back at the monitor and there you see it! From a different angle are two little heartbeats, two blips, two fetuses, two babies in the future!

You almost felt your heart stop from so much happiness!

"Congrats you're having twins! You're about 8 weeks pregnant!", Doctor Amy rejoiced but you still cannot move, neither can Harry until...

"I- oh my God! Is this real?! Is this really happening?! Oh God Oh God Oh God!", Harry jumped from his seat covering his face with his hands.

"Baby, we're going to have our own family!", H crouched down next to your bed while slowly kissing your nose and that's when it finally sunk in! You're pregnant! And with twins! This is more than you could ever ask for!

You're nodding your head repeatedly with tears running to your cheeks rapidly while Harry tried to catch everything.

"Happy, I'm so so happy, H."

"Me too my love, me too... twins?! I- thank you so much baby, you're so wonderful to me and I-", you didn't let him finish talking as you kissed him, not caring if the doctor is still in the room.

After you pulled away, you only smiled at him and pecked his lips once again. Harry helped you clean up the gel on your tummy and go back to your seat earlier, the doctor is already there typing on her computer.

"Congratulations again! Twins are hefty but I'm sure you can both handle it!", you thanked her and proceeded to talk about the pregnancy.

"I'm assuming you already know what to expect, what to do, and not to do, and what to eat mostly, yes? Hopefully, you didn't consume any alcoholic drinks during the last at least 10 weeks and no birth control at all", Amy asked.

"We do know, yes. And no, I didn't drink, and no, none at all.", you're smiling so big, mirroring H.

"Well then, there's really not much to discuss other than your next ultrasound. You two would be great parents! Do you have any questions?"

"Not for now, I think...", and Harry agrees with you.

"If you do then don't think twice of calling me. I'll print the pictures and have my assistant help you with the next appointment if you need to be transferred to another country then let her know, I'll have her recommend you on my pals", the doctor smiled and almost left the room but...

"Can you make it 5 copies?", H asked suddenly.

The doctor looked back and laughed, "of course, you'll just gonna need to pay extra on your way out", she replied.

"That's won't be a problem, just make it 5 please!", Harry looks and sounds like a child asking for another cookie.

"It's settled!", with that, the doctor finally left the room.

The silence is really comfortable as you change back into your normal clothes.

"H, why 5 copies? We don't need that much!", you laughed as you slowly approached your husband to leave the room.

He only smiled and simply answered, "one for you, one for me, one for your parents, one for mines, then one for their album - I'm getting it enlarged and framed."

You just melted as his answer so you just hugged him tight, “I’m having your baby, and it is your business”, you joked and he laughed, exchanging "I love you's".

---

You're back at the car now, looking at the ultrasound pictures. You can see on your peripheral vision how big Harry is grinning.

He faced you and lifted up your shirt, the car still in the parking lot of the hospital. Thank God you managed to be discreet as possible, not seeing any paps insight.

"Hello bundles!", he greeted your tummy with a kiss.

"See, I know you're both there, daddy can sense it. Can't wait to hold you both and protect you from the world", he looked up at you. "Please don't give mummy a hard time, especially now that there's two of you and daddy's gonna be away a lot, but I promise to be there while you two bake in there as much as possible!", he kissed your tummy once more and pulled down your shirt.

You can't help but grin at him, "bundles? And bake?", you asked your husband while laughing, your shoulders shaking from how many laughs you're producing.

"Bundles, they're two, that's what you call it baby! Like the buy one take one thing on the store, bundles! And bake cause they're a bun in the oven, your tummy's the oven and they're the buns! Bundle buns!", he looks so excited while explaining his shenanigans to you.

You face palmed yourself but can't help but to fall in love with him more, if that's possible.

"Know what baby? Let's just get lunch, yeah?", he only nod but he didn't find your response offensive.

You secretly loved his terms "bundles" and "bake", it makes your heart warm.

"What're you all craving, tell daddy!", you slapped his arms at his double meaning!

You answered either way, "we want pasta, daddy!", then winked at him.

"If pasta is what my babies want then pasta is what we'll get!", his hands found your lap to hold your hand but yours isn't there.

He then looked at you holding your tummy with a fond smile on your face and he joined your hands with his, both of you caressing your babies.

"32 weeks baby, 32 weeks.", you said to H and he smiled at you, looking back on the road.

"I'm already thinking of getting us a customized Gucci family clothes for when they arrive!", H cheekily said to you but you know he's not kidding so you just agreed along with him.

You know you're gonna love this pregnancy already. Not only you got one, but two babies! You're more blessed than ever! Plus, you're sure that Harry's going to be giving you everything you crave for! Midnight ice cream sessions, here we come!

_____

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seb-owns-these-tatas · 4 years

Text

Witcher Of The Night (Chapter 4)

THIS IS MODERN ERA READER WHO WOKE UP IN THE DIMENSION OF THE WITCHER.

CHAPTER 3

Characters: Geralt of Rivia x small!Naive!Reader

Summary: Ciri wanted chicken and so she gets one. Y/N needed warmth amongst the cold weather in the Forest of Kaedwan and she'd received more than a warmth for her body as it traveled straight to her heart; warming her soul. Even getting some sort of comfort from the witcher himself. Other than that, Geralt had a lead on where the sorceress was. Though, right now he needed her to help you Plus, he also had other options other than that.

Warnings: FULL OF Y/N AND GERALT FLUFF. ❤ Geralt is an asshole at first because of certain reasons. 😂 Blood and animal killing in this one. Smiling, soft Geralt, tho still having that stoic expression of his of course. Gotta write him completely in character. 😂 Also, a Hirikka is here and will be on the next chapter!

Words: 3,900+

A/N: There's a part 2 for this chapter. It'll be a chapter 4.1 but will be posted after 2-3 days. ^u^ I couldn't put them together because it'll be 8-9k words long. 😅😂 Sorry, if I write long ass chapters and the pace is still slow. I need to develop their characters, relationship and such. The places said here are from the game however it isn’t accurate and I just made my own direction. Like how I try to make my life go in the right path but failing and actually walking on the wrong path. LMAO. Also, I’m making a masterlist for WOTN! 🤗

TAGLIST IS STILL OPEN FOR THIS ONE! Heehee! Don’t forget to REBLOG, COMMENT OR GIVE FEEDBACK IF YOU DID LOVE THIS CHAPTER! IT’LL MAKE ME SMILE!

Disclaimer: PNG's used in edits are not mine even the GIF's too. However, the edits and oneshots are definitely from moi. Characters, places and said monsters aren't from moi as well.

MY WORKS ARE NOT NOT NOT NOT NOOOOOOT TO BE POSTED ON ANY OTHER WEBSITES. My official username in Wattpad is “TATATHEPOTATO” and that’s the only other site I have for writing aside from Tumblr. Thank you, Tater tots!

"Do you not...have cars, Geralt? Or motorcycles?"

You've panted like you were having a marathon, palms falling on your knees as you took a breather; seeing a small cottage on the far end of the shallow path in the forest.

It was a smaller house that had a fence with chickens, goats and pigs segregated by kind. The home was a sandy shade of yellow and a slip of brown which was also made just like how Geralt's have been.

No answer was given to you other than how he was hauling Roach back to look at you who were walking along side with him; not bothering to even ask you for a ride. It's not like you were hoping he would. Based on the change of mood he'd gotten, you were sure he won't lend you his horse to lessen your difficulty in traveling bare foot.

You've already asked what his horse's name was. He simply answered with the word 'Roach', allowing you to touch the horse as she neighed. Much to someone's dismay; specifically a bard who happened to saw the whole interaction, left a mutter to himself.

"Why does the midget get to touch Roach in haste and I don't?!" Jaskier muttered rather in disbelief. The Witcher fixing his black, hooded wool cape attached to his shoulders, giving him a subtle hum with the gravel of his voice.

Jaskier huffed for the third time, hands on his hips as he watched the scene before him with incredulity in his baby blue peepers. You happily caressed her crest as Geralt fixed things on the leather bag attached to the horse's hip.

"Geralt---" Jaskier started but was cut off with a insouciant scold from the man himself, "Don't call her midget," he cut him off without even paying him attention. Jaskier gave a nod; a grin molding his face leading to mischief at the chide given.

Jaskier took a step close and planned to give Roach's crest a caress but his stern friend was fast enough to cease his wishes, "Still, don't touch roach," Geralt quickly mumbled as he felt Jaskier's plan on touching his horse. The bard slyly grabbed onto his own hair, brushing them through his locks like he wasn't about to pet Roach. Geralt closed the bag with a soft click, giving him the side-eye; voice firm and full of derision, "I don't want you singing a song about my horse in the near future,"

Which is why you were walking on your own now with Geralt's good will on making you handle the death march rather like a happy child.

It was probably okay, you thought at the back of your mind. Walking, that is. Exercising in the morning was great, except that if it weren't too chilly unlike him who have gotten a full armor and gear out of his closet like he'd gone out of a magazine or animè. The sword on his back even giving you shivers, but a different kind because of how tough looking he had as his exterior.

You shook your head as he just looked back at you. That look of his that was filled of inquiry; asking you what you were saying in the back of your mind. A huff of pure exhaustion was given to The Witcher before you sauntered forward, leaving the man eyeing you with sass and a high raise of his bushy brow.

Geralt followed through along with Roach as he pulled her reins, slowly galloping as he analyzed your form from behind. His buttoned up tunic that reached the ends of your thighs with a weird kind of foot ware that certainly doesn't help with the crispy, brisk temperature of the forest.

Geralt gravelly sighed, watching you struggle with scrubbing your legs together as you pathetically strolled forward and onto the place that he'd pointed. He was too engrossed at seeing you struggle when he has heard a slight twig breaking from afar, catching his senses and making him look to where it came from.

"Midget," The Witcher tried calling you with that deep voice of his in the middle of the woods. Though, to no avail; you never heard him coherently and continued your stroll through the forest; hollering a message without even looking back because of the mere exhaustion.

"You're too slow, Geralt, like an old man! I'm exhausted!"

He breathed out his vexation of your naivety that you weren't strolling in your world. You were walking in theirs and having your own little dimension while you walk by yourself can be pretty dangerous.

Geralt heard the crack of another wood. It was from behind a large hickory tree. He doubtfully grabbed onto the handle of his sword wrapped behind him; halfway unsheathing the sword and contemplating if he needed to jump off his horse when suddenly a medium sized Hirikka came into his view, maybe an inch shorter than you. Those eyes that were doe, just like yours whenever you wanted something and eventually getting it from him.

"You're hungry, aren't you?" Geralt asked the Hirrika. The tone in his voice softer and in awe. He'd rummaged through his bag without taking his Aurum, blazing eyes away from the harmless creature, feeling an apple inside his bag and threw it as the Hirikka caught it with its own two paws.

"Don't get yourself killed out there,"

Thus, he began to follow you as fast as possible before you even get yourself harmed from any monsters. When he'd seen you leaning on the fences of Cuthberth's home, he didn't know he has been holding a breath for as long as he could remember without seeing the sight of you.

You were making him insane for not even waiting for him and thinking what would've attacked you in the forest of Kaedwan.

Cuthbert was feeding the chickens inside their palisades. His friend thought you were lost but you've said that you came for the purpose of buying chickens with a man. He was friendly enough to give you chitter-chatter while waiting for Geralt to follow you from behind. It took minutes before he arrived with a complete set of body parts; so the worry of him being killed off by a monster was thrown in the dumps.

As he rode his horse closer, you've had the chance to admire the beauty edging to be seen. You were in awe as his mere self was enough to get you ogling at the man treading near. Never seeing such a man like that who wore armors in his everyday life except from seeing Cosplayers in certain conventions that seemed so fake rather than Geralt who felt real. Too real that you were pondering if he was just a mere hallucination or a fantasy of yours.

He was definitely eye-candy. Dashing. Ravishing. Beyond gorgeous.

Cuthbert saw them coming and so, his expression turned wild with a grin. His dirty fingers scratching his bald head in excitement as he jogged out of the fences with a giddy self. "Oi! You didn't tell me it's the infamous Geralt of Rivia, elfin!"

Famous. He's famous? you thought to yourself before keeping your eyes away from the witcher who had already jumped down his horse and gave you a look; asking what was wrong because you were staring like there was a problem at hand.

You didn't need to tell him that your heart was actually the problem. It was always skipping a beat whenever he'd pay a glimpse to stare at your eyes.

A soft clear of your throat, your fist covering your mouth as you do and you eyed Cuthbert inquisitively, "Is he famous? Famous for what? Is he an actor? Model? The king of this kingdom or something?"

Cuthbert patted his dirty hands on his soiled apron full of flour, a hand on his hip while the other reaches out for Geralt's powerful looking shoulder in attempt to give him a pat. The animal butcher's forest green eyes coruscant of fervor. Geralt's initial response was to give him a smile back with the man's excitement in seeing him again, "This lad's a something! Kills all types of beasts, vampires, dragons, huge kikimores---"

You coughed out loud, making them snap their heads from where you stood. Cuthbert's words sounded too surprising to be true. As much as you remembered, vampires only existed in the movies and games; not in the real life survival of people. His words caught you off-guard, "Vamp--vampires? There's vampires here, Cuthbert? Even dragons?"

Geralt looked at you, utmost jaded. The way your voice stuttered alerted him that you were scared or probably still unfamiliar--still illiterate of their world since he was doubting to give you all the information ahead if you abruptly disappear out-of-nowhere with the knowledge of the continent; their world. It would be very much dangerous for it to be compromised especially that you had the experience in teleporting to their dimension.

Cuthbert gave a loud laugh, not believing the strangeness of your words, "You're actin' like yer’ never been here before! I thought yer’ were livin' with the Witcher?! You should ask the white wolf, here! He's killed hundreds! Maybe even thousands!"

You've fluttered your eyes closed, trying to calm yourself from running off the forest and getting yourself killed just like the horror movies you've watched. You've called them idiots, now wasn't the time to call yourself one as well.

Though, you were completely unaware of Geralt's gaze which consist an ample amount of worry. You continued your rambles in a hushed whisper, "I'm not just in a freakin' game that have monsters, but even a live-action movie of Twilight. This is great, real great."

The Witcher clenched his teeth, gradually turning his body to you without moving his soles. His forehead creasing as he could feel your heart beat quickening, "Are there also wolves? Big bad wolves here?" your voiced lowering a miniscule, sounding diminutive.

His friend gave off a shrug, his mouth forming a thin line when he did so as he scratched his whitened beard, "We may never know what this world can bring, Elfin! It always brings out the worst of everythin'!"

At the confident mention of that, you've felt your chest tightening with the knowledge of having vampires and dragons around. What if you died in their world? Would you also be dead in earth? Geralt licked his Crimson lips, staring down at you with utmost comfort that he could give. Yet, he failed at that with how stoic his expressions can get. Though, his eyes were exempted because his feelings can be read through those stern, Aurum eyes.

Midway, he'd lift his burly armor-coated arms to plan and give your back a caress to calm you down; but he was immediate enough to drop it down considering that maybe even a touch to the hand would calm you because he'd seen it trembled. If only he was thoroughly direct towards you; he would in a heart beat.

"Don't panic, Midget." The roughness of his voice; that definite amount of timbre. It was the only word you've heard from him. Short but straightforward. Even so, still the only thing that calmed you down through out all your panic attacks back in earth and even in their world.

Cuthbert has seen Geralt's attempt of comfort; even seeing his eyes shift in a way that nobody else could. He had a smirk on his face, scrubbing that beard he was owning, "Who is she, Witcha'? Another one of those clingy harlots of yours?"

Geralt turned his head to see Cuthbert smirking. The way his eyes changed into a lethargic faze meant that the witcher was mantling the emotions he was having or probably having no idea that he was feeling it yet; in denial of the state he was in.

"---Or the trouble and strife?"

The witcher knew what he meant and decided to let those words fall out of his ear to the other. His hands clasping together on his front as he straightened his back, cocking his head to the side as he narrowed his eyes on the latter, "We need...chickens," Cuthbert raised his eyebrows in astonishment, "You cook now, witcher?"

No words were said besides from a satisfied hum as the chickens clucked before the butcher of animals. The panic died down because of Geralt's voice and you've finally had the will to insert yourself in the conversation.

"I do!" you excitedly exclaimed, stepping a foot closer to Geralt and the witcher was aware of it, giving you the side-eye, "---also, do you have any spices please?"

Cuthbert nodded in comprehension, sending a playful wink to The Witcher and scrubbing his hands together as he also gave you a rogouish smile, "Oh, that kind. The little woman, Geralt! Literally because this elfin is quite short but fetching nevertheless!" Geralt gave him an apathetic blink of an eye, sighing from the talkativeness of the man.

But, also worth it if he could see those anticipated beams of yours as you stood beside him.

The latter gave out a loud sigh, seeming to be in his head space as he talked his thoughts out loud, "---I remember how Gisela cooks Flamiche for me whenever I go home from me' hunt! Though, that woman seldom does it anymore considering how Bridgely gets her attention a lots!"

Geralt gave him that daunting smile of his; wanting to tell the man to just butcher the heck out of the chickens already as he wanted to get it over with. You gave Cuthbert a wide smile, oblivious of Geralt's taunting gaze back at the man. He suppressed a laugh and nodded to himself; quickly running off to Geralt's wishes.

As the chicken was being slaughtered across the fence, Geralt was thoroughly unaware that you were already sniffing and crying because it was all out in the open and you could see how it was being killed. He watched you look over the fence and inspect Cuthbert cutting its head off and it made you shriek, warm tears falling on the sides of your face while watching how much pity you've given to the chicken.

Geralt did a double-take, eyeing you and where you were staring at and saw how you were crying over a chicken being slaughtered. He wanted to laugh because of how you were being sad over it. However, he decided against so as to not offend you when you were just pouring your heart out in this one.

"I thought...you wanted chickens?" the witcher pondered, leaning away from the fence and facing you instead with that amused glint in his eyes.

You've sniffed hard, patting your nose with his clothes that you were wearing from; the snot wanting to come out of its cave. You gazed up at him; eyes damp and reddish from the cries. "I did, Geralt! But not for it to be killed like this!" you hiccuped from all the bawling that has happened, "---It was better to be bought in a supermarket!"

The way you cry always made a pinch inside Geralt's heart. A kind where he would try and do everything to make it stop because you were annoying but also irresistible.

His lips lifted in a slight beam, looking around the forest before peering down at your sobbing thyself. "There, there," surprisingly, Geralt cooed before you; stopping your weeps short as you gaped at the tall witcher. His chiseled face warped in clear softness and mirth, "---for a bountiful feast requires death in exchange for us to be sated,"

The amazing color of his eyes gleamed more under the sun. You couldn't help but outstare back at him with that stupefied look of utter adoration. You snapped out of your daydream when he was waiting for a witty retort but you've loudly cleared your throat; the heat travelling to your neck. Before it can even reach your face, you turned your head back to look at Cuthbert who was now grinning back at you; holding the headless chicken up for you to see. Its blood dripping down the ground as he mouthed a 'what do you think?' back at you and Geralt to tell you if the size of the chicken was a-okay.

Your face quickly morphed into a wince, another mourn about to come to light when you've felt a warm hand on your shoulder; shooting lightning to your spine as you jumped from the physical touch. Geralt gently turned your body around; away from the panorama of chicken slaughter. The way his lips lifting in a small, soft smile never leaving yet. "Don't look at it,"

A huff was sent to the latter, "I can't! It's making noise!"

"Then cover your ears," Geralt's brow raised in sarcasm. Though, those playful sparkle never dying down. You narrowed your eyes back at him, an annoyed crease of your forehead as you explained and raised your hands back at him. It looked dull and definitely freezing, "But, my hands are shaking from the cold!"

Geralt studied you from head to foot, noting the lack of clothes you were wearing. The smile you've grown to love fell as he sighed, looking away for a moment before a tiresome gaze of his eyes was sent to you. He held onto the string of his jet black hooded cape, unlatching it around his neck as you stared up at him in utmost curiosity.

The softness of his cape fell around your shoulders like a furnace hugging your body; better yet the soul that needed a hug after all you've experienced since the first time you've been in their world. You could feel your heart warming at the gesture of Geralt giving you his dramatic cape; even growing hotter when he was tethering the tie together; intently staring down at your face and feeling his thick, calloused fingers inches before your neck.

Maybe, an egg was worthy of using your face as a frying pan right now.

You consciously looked away from the heat of his stare. Geralt tightened the tie around your neck as you've felt the heaviness of his cape over your shoulders. He drew he fingers away from your neck, slanting his head as he never cut the gaze he had; rather than you who'd looked away because you were...blushing.

"Better?" His voice graveled, a small beam carving his face. You've reluctantly gawked back at him, giving him a reserved nod. The way you were acting looked entirely stupid, your eyes looking like those googly ones used as stickers back in your desk as you tried avoiding the intensity of his stare. You bit the insides of your cheeks, deciding to leave the exhilaration out in the back as you had the courage to look at him, "Better!---Never better, Ge-Geralt!" Regardless of the brave act, you embarrassingly stammered and cited his name wrongly with a shameful 'J', "I mean, Geralt. Geralt with a G!" you back paddled in an instant, scratching your temples as you avoided his eyes and tried to fan your face.

The witcher looked askance, he could hear your heart beat running miles after miles. Geralt pondered why and what was making it pump fast when you weren't even having your panic attacks.

He crossed his hefty arms, looking at you skeptically but with a stupefying smile on his face, "Are you going to stop being a bairn now?"

You initially stopped fanning your face, narrowing your eyes back at him; completely confused, "What's a bairn?" he sighed and glanced at the sky, shaking his head with a beam that fell as quick as you've seen it when Geralt heard Cuthbert walking to where you were and glanced at the acquaintance.

The dead chicken was tied close to the witcher's bag located on the hip of his horse. You were busy staring at the four pieces of aftershafted chickens dangling on Roach's side with that sympathetic glaze of your eyes but actually talking at the back of your mind that its death would be worth it because you cook well and he'll taste good.

Cuthbert scrutinized your nodding form. A strange expression written on his face that tells that he was seeing the oddity that you were nodding at the chickens like you were talking to them.

The animal butcher was running his blabber mouth about how his chickens were also missing every other day. Sometimes his pigs or goats that made Geralt narrow his eyes from his share of message; his nose slightly scrunching from the admission of Cuthbert with his missing animals.

He didn't need to know that some were kind of caught by Geralt's hands. Maybe at least ten chickens, three pigs and two goats. Even so, slaughtered by the witcher himself.

The sneaky witcher couldn't catch a chicken as of the moment because he always does it at night. Catching a chicken from other people's fence in the morning can be risky and definitely tricky.

"About...the sorceress," Geralt trailed off, grabbing Cuthbert's attention away from you before he could even think you didn't belong to their world and guessed about his stealing escapades. He spun his head to look at Geralt, thoroughly distracted from how he called him out, "---you still hangin' onto that sorceress you had, witcher?"

"No...It's....kind of complicated," the latter speculated with a shake of his head.

Cuthbert nodded in understanding, scratching the nape of his neck as he seem to ponder, "The tittle-tattles around the village says that the sorceress is in a burgh called 'crow's perch' in the east of Vizima," pause. "It's a long journey out there! Lots'a beasts to encounter before it!" he roughly warned.

The Witcher only hummed in response; deep in thought as he calculated how long will it take to get there after a week when he was done with any favors for the villagers of Kaedwan and for some of his options on how to get you home.

His first choice was the Djinn. Now, he just needed to find one. Again. But, not for the sole purpose of asking peace and a long nap but to help you.

Geralt fished out the black pouch he kept on his sides, reaching out to give it to Cuthbert across the fence. The animal butcher shook his head to decline the money, "No, I don't need yer' coins." he simply admitted with a scoff, "You've helped us a lot; for me to be accepting some kind of repayment from the white wolf himself---,"

"----You deserve a thank you for all your help, Witcher." Cuthbert continued with a grateful tone.

Thus, this was the first time that he'd been acknowledged by his help in slaying monsters and terrifying creatures. The man himself didn't know how pleasing it was to hear those words from a mere human and from a person he'd help back in the years. Even so, seeing those smiles you've given him when you were excited to cook the damn chicken didn't seem so satisfying and delightful to look at; until now..

MORE FLUFF ON CHAPTER 4.1! Heehee! THANK YOU FOR THE LOVE, TATER TOTS! AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO LOVES GERALT CALLING Y/N, MIDGET?

Taglist: @alyxkbrl @himarisolace @barkingbullfrog @ayamenimthiriel @hellodevilslittlesister @vania-marie @spookypeachx @grungelovebug @fangirl-inthe-us @nympeth @missjenniferb (I couldn’t tag you AGAIN bud! A different blog was popping out of the recommendation and it wasn’t your blog. Though, I’ll try again on the next update! Don’t worry! Tumblr is being DUMBLR RN. I’M MAD) @amirahiddleston @gabethelobster @dreaming-about-starfleet @uncoolcloudyhead @melaninstylezz @psychosupernatural

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chittapornswife · 3 years

Note

omg i’m glad it made you happy!!! i always get super surprised when ppl send asks like “love from australia” or “love from brazil” like 🤯 i forget my blog is public for the whole WORLD.. pitbull can sit down since we’re Miss Worldwide and Miss Worldwide!!!! also omg i will def be looking forward to it then !!!!!!! the kai rec is from wattpad but i read it in like 2016 so ider the title 😭😭 pink walls or smthn like that but it was angsty and GOOOOOOD!!! and pls jaehyun one included fake texts and it was SO GOOD but op stopped after two parts ✋😔 there’s also a your-brothers-friend-lucas college fuckboy fic on here that i read in 2018 ish? and it was good but i nvr remember the titles 😞😞😞

also that’s so interesting to know !!!! tbh i love how you write the interactions with each guy esp jeno and renjun but also adding hendery as the bestie was so unexpected and i loved it 😩😩 btw when you write series do you outline what’s going to happen first or just write and once you’re going it comes naturally? and ahhhh!!! i’m so glad it could make your month 🥰🥰 tbh i was 🤯😳😮 when i saw you in my notifs because i don’t check them often but when i did literally the best fic writer rbed my post?!? but yes u r so right !! essay like asks are always fun to answer ☺️😌 also i’m usually the baby friend anyways so i’m used to mom-like words from friends haha!! (im 18 btw not like an 08 kid messaging you .. not that anything’s wrong w that!!)

and 😳👉💗💞💓 aw shucks tysm !!! you seem really kind and bright !!! like a v cheerful person that others get energy from ☺️☺️ i have to get ready to go to the airport at 3am my time so i’m just sitting debating whether to sleep rn or watch yt haha but i do have a water bottle next to me so hydrated ✅!!! please stay hydrated as well and stay safe!!!! esp during these times 😖💗 - lofeel

i didn’t mention this in the last ask and i should’ve but you have an amazing blog like it’s just so pretty and well put, anything you create or reblog is so beautiful 🥺💗 yes!! you are a global and thriving blog and i can be one of those ppl sending you an ask saying “sending love from canada!!! 🇨🇦”

and look at us Miss Worldwide’s go 😎💅🏼 Pitbull ur time to shine is over 🥱 wattpad😭 it is a place filled with memories and were I first started reading online stories created by the community!! it was a wild ride and still is but so many great memories on that site 😭 fuckboy lucas in college?? 😳😳 oh and this won’t be released soon but maybe next fall but i’m working on a enemies to lovers knight!lucas and secret princess!reader fic!! and he also is giving off very much fuckboy vibes so i’m very excited to write it and post it🙏🏼🙏🏼 but also i feel you!! i never rarely remember titles especially if they’re long 😭

i don’t know if you’re still at the airport but pls take a flight to canada so i can give you the BIGGEST HUG IN THE WORLD BC UR SO SWEET!!!! 💗✨💗✨💗 I love hearing about what ppl like in my fics and jeno and renjun definitely have me 🥺🙏🏼 i was trying to keep who the reader ends up with as a secret but i think ppl are finding out which is still fine but there’s even a bigger plot twist later on too😳 bestie hendery!!! tbh when i thought of who the bff could be, i could only see hendery as a carefree but fun childhood best friend 🥺 missing him rn<3...

this is my first chapter series so i should’ve outlined what was going to happen but didn’t 😭 even now i’m trying to but i’m realizing that going with the flow is much better for my writing and most of the times i just know one event that will be happening and write based off that! many times i switch up everything that i was planning in my head because when writing it out it doesn’t feel so natural :/ anyways this was way too long but i just write naturally!!

you are gassing me up way too much rn!!! ahhh i’m actually on cloud 9 and even have exo’s cloud 9 stuck in my head rn too😭😭😭😭 i can’t tell you how much love i’m sending your way and just how happy i am rn 🥺♥️♥️♥️♥️ thank you for being another essay messaging person because when ppl text or msg very short answers to big questions it makes me feel pressured to not write something long back 😭 so thank you again<3333

18!!! that means you’re either ‘02 or ‘01 and if so then you are a baby to me🥺🥺🥺 i know it’s just 3-4 yrs apart but u are my baby bc i consider chenle to be like a son and so both of you are my babies 🥺🥺 also don’t be worry abt with what you say!!! i srsly get you and no need to worry abt sounding like you’re saying the wrong thing!!!!

everything you’ve said about me is what I believe you are. kind and bright and someone who gives others energy bc it’s 2am and i should be asleep since i have work tmrrw morning but i’m awake bc you’re giving me energy!!! I hope you have a safe flight to wherever you’re going and that you also eat well too!! i guess we’re in the same spot wondering whether to sleep hahaha but i have no clue what time it must be for you except that it’s night and you might be off to the airport so have a safe flight!!! stay safe as well and have lots of fun 😙💗✨💗✨💗✨ once again sending lots of love and virtual hugs your way for being so kind and just taking the time to even write such thoughtful long msgs like this 🥺♥️✨

#my favs #lofeel #🏹❤️#idk if you’ll read the tags but i’ve included you in my special arrow heart tag which stands for things i want to remember #aka heartfelt and thoughtful things and just things that make me immensely happy :’)) so thank you💗💗💗💗😙#goodnight still!! 💗💗 also i hope i wasn’t being creepy calling you my baby bc i know legally ur an adult (here in canada u are at least)#but to me ur just 👶🏻 🥺♥️♥️♥️♥️#also this is bad advice but i’d suggest the yt vids bc if ur too excited to fall asleep or u won’t have enough sleep time #then it’ll make u more groggy and kind of bleh before going to the airport #that way u can sleep in the plane! or maybe just rest !!!#also idek why but i was reminded of my merry missed flight au with ten #when hearing ur going to the airport! it’s so random but i wrote it near christmas when i was coming back from disneyland LA with my family #and we missed our flight and stayed the whole day basically at the airport to get a new flight back home 😭😭#ok but srsly goodnight from me now!! 💗✨💗✨💗#i hope u get rest well soon!!! 💗💗💗💗 sleep is v important too although i’m lacking it

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fictionalginger · 3 years

Text

wandavision theories for ep 8 | contains spoilers

Obligatory disclaimer, these are my opinion + thoughts, and ideas, take all u see here with a grain of salt as of course, these are just theories. Now, shall we?

I’m writing this at 7:30am on Friday 26th, it’s taking all my self control to actually write this down before I go watch the episode.

Let me start this by saying that ever since this show started I’ve looked like this every single week, until the next episode, and then the cycle just starts over. I’ve seen the promos and the trailers in like 0.25x so many times.

Agatha/Agnes

I called it from before the show’s start and the fact that it was so obvious makes me think she’s not really the main but more like a pawn that’s serving a supervillain if that makes sense.

On episode 1, there was the June 2nd line and then the “Charmed” thing that confirmed it for me.

I think that she’s either

possessed

just crazy

I’m leaning a bit more towards the crazy part, she’s been an instigator throughout the whole show and seems to be doing it and enjoying it (ie agatha all along)

basically put the idea of having kids in Wanda’s head

instigated Vision’s doubts which then ultimately made him realize something was wrong

she literally gave him the last push for him to try to go outside the hec which might have killed him

she killed Sparky

brought Peter from (according to me) Fox’s universe as a stand in for Pietro bc he’s dead…

From the couple of promos and leaked images for ep 8, I think she’s gonna show Wanda her past which I think is tied to Mephisto because let’s be honest, how does a witch have powers comparable to those of someone who basically was exposed to an infinity stone. The amount of demonic symbolism in her secret lair was a lot, the cicadas, señor scratchy, what looks to be the darkhold.

I also think she’s the one that manipulated Wanda into creating the hex, seeing as her creepy basement is apparently outside of it. She manipulated her into having kids, we’ve seen that every time the twins are about to age up, she’s there. She didn’t even blink to Wanda having powers. That’s why I think she killed Sparky, because for some reason she wants to age the twins into teenagers to serve her purpose.

But why?

Does she want to bring someone back from the dead? Or does she want to manipulate Wanda into opening the multiverse because she knows she’s a Nexus being? Is she using her to bring Mephisto into the MCU world in a physical form?

Peter

I’m sure he’s just Peter from X-Men who Agatha pulled into the MCU as a stand-in for Pietro.

I think when Wanda yeeted him in the halloween episode, he got snapped out of Agatha’s control and we might see him team up with Monica to help Wanda and the residents of Westview.

I think he might stay in the MCU and be in Dr. Strange the multiverse of madness, and then we’d see him return to Fox

Monica

Not sure what name she’ll go with, Photon, Spectrum or even Captain Marvel 🤷🏼‍♀️

I do think she’ll take over as Director of S.WORD since I’m 99.9% sure Hayward broke the Sokovia Accords (and Vision’s will)

Hopefully we see more of her and why she’s so mad at Carol

Dottie

I have the feeling that there’s a lot more to her, but I’m on a time crunch and really want to go watch ep 8 so I'll just say that she’s either Arcanna Jones or Clea and I’ll be disappointed if she turns out to just be Dottie.

Also, she’s not on the board so I have my doubts about her.

Hayward

I’ve hated since I first saw him

I’m 99.9% sure he was experimenting on Vision trying to bring him back online which is a breach of the Accords, but he couldn’t and then saw that Wanda had breathing, living version of Vision and became hellbent on getting him, that’s why he’s vilifying Wanda so he can put the blame on her.

Vision

This one’s a bit tricky, because I have my doubts about him being Old Vision, but I really liked him throughout the show and it sucks that he’ll probably die at the end.

Theory 1:

He can’t leave the Hex, which makes me think he was created by Wanda, I mean after all she can manipulate things to a molecular level and could’ve given him the same traits as Old Vision, that’s why he has the stone and can’t really remember anything from before Westview, because he didn’t exist but still exhibits his selfless behavior (i.e doesn’t even remember being an avenger yet he wanted to help and then when he was dying outside the hex, he asked for help for the people and not for himself even though he was disintegrating)

This scene from one of the promos where Wanda’s still wearing modern day clothes and then she’s wearing the outfit from the first episode, and Vision’s like “Wanda?”. I think that’s where she created him, and gave him some basic memories to start from.

Here, where she’s looking at the stone, in another promo I believe, I think it’s that she’s “destroying” the stone which will inevitably kill vision.

Or when she has to inevitably bring down the Hex, he’s gonna die, again. The only plot hole to this theory would be, how is Hayward able to track him? Is he tracking the Vibranium signature only?

That scene where Wanda’s at S.W.O.R.D and she’s recovering his body, makes sense that maybe she made Westview Vision from Old Vision’s scraps, but he was completely disarmed and taken apart, how could she have done that? She would have had to completely put him together (which shouldn’t be hard considering her powers) but I’m guessing he wasn’t Vision anymore, they were turning him into something else.

Theory 2:

I remember reading in October, that White Vision could make an appearance which kinda makes sense? After all, he was killed and taken apart by a spy agency which could be S.W.O.R.D as it is now a “Sentient Weapon Observation Response Division” that is very specifically focusing on robotics and A.I. This could be what Hayward mentioned that he intends on launching on episode 7. Considering there’s only 2 episodes left, this seems like a lot to include with so little time left. But the possibilities are endless, it is Marvel we’re talking about.

Either way I think he’s gonna die and we’re all gonna cry. His death might be what pushes Wanda over the edge and into insanity, if even when she was living a normal, happy life she was pushing her grief onto those she was controlling, what would it be like when she has to let go of this? Heartbreaking, that’s for sure.

Billy & Tommy

I think they’re somehow fully real, made from who knows what but real

I don’t think Agatha killed him, but she might have aged them as that seems to have been her goal (it also makes them the right age for the young avengers set up they seem to be going for)

Perhaps, instead of living with Wanda, once the Hex goes down they’re forgotten? Like when, in the comics, Agatha wiped them from Wanda's mind.

I read a theory that the missing person Jimmy was looking for at the beginning was Teddy Altman who ends up being Billy’s husband in the comics, so that’d be cool.

Wanda

Poor Wanda has been manipulated this whole time.

Going with my theory that Vision’s body was completely torn apart when she got to S.W.O.R.D, I don’t think she could take it with her like that, that’s why I think Hayward is so obsessed with finding the Vision that she has alive inside the Hex.

I feel she was manipulated by Agatha all along, Westview might’ve just been the first town she found as soon as she left S.W.O.R.D where Agatha manipulated her into creating the Hex. This whole time she thought she was in control, it was Agatha behind the scenes controlling everything. Jimmy mentioned that she was displaying an amount of powers that far exceeded anything she’d displayed before and I think her crumbling mental stability, along with the fact that Vision almost died at the end of episode 6 (or he did actually die idk) could be what’s causing the Hex to start glitching and failing.

There’s a scene from one of the promos, and honestly it was hard to find, but we can see her in the town surrounded by all of Westview’s residents who look like they’re begging her for something (Phil). Maybe she couldn’t keep her control over them or once Agatha showed her the truth, she decided to free their minds.

and this scene where she holds hands with Vision while wearing modern clothes, I think it might be one of their last scenes together.

My working theory for Wanda is:

She realizes she’s been manipulated and how wrong it all is

Frees everyone

Tries to take down the Hex but has to fight Agatha and Hayward(and whatever he launched) in order to do so but she has the help of Vision, Monica and Peter

Inevitably kills Westview Vision when she takes down the hex, says goodbye and we’ll cry

Grabs her children and we go into dr. strange 2 where she’ll try to fix what she fucked up

She forgets her children, probably Agatha’s doing and goes crazy with the grief of losing everything at once hence setting her up as one of the main characters (villain?) of Dr strange 2

I’ve had the feeling that phase 4 is going to revolve around her and her powers, spiderman 3: no way home and dr. strange the multiverse of madness, even loki and antman: quantumania. They all give multiverse, ripples in the fabric of reality kinda vibes.

So far all I’ve got are more questions for episode 8

Why did Agatha do this? What’s the purpose of it?

Is Vision gonna die? Is he alive? Are my theories right?

Are the kids alive or aged up? Trapped in the creepy ass basement?

Is Peter under Agatha's mind control or will he team up with Monica?

Will the town people die in Haywards attack?

Will we get to see the big bad in the show?

Who is the aerospace engineeeeer?

Hope you’ve enjoyed reading my delusions, expect a theory for the final episode after I watch ep 8. Leave me a like or reblog if you’ve found this interesting. You can also follow me on Twitter where I usually post my dumbassery first!

#blog post #wandavision #wandavision theory #wandavision theories #wanda maximoff #vision #agatha harkness #spoilers #wandavision spoilers #episode 8 theory #episode 8

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all-you-need-is-paul-mccartney · 4 years

Text

The Couple Next Door IV (Roger Taylor x Female!Reader)

Find Part III Here

A/N: Happy Early Valentine’s Day, Y’all! I wrote a lot for the next part of this series, so I decided to split them up in two chapters. I’m posting this one tonight, and the other will be up at some point tomorrow afternoon.

This chapter is in 3rd Person Omniscient for Rogie like the previous one, and the reader will not be in this chapter but the next one, so I apologize if it’s not that good.

Don’t forget to show your support and enjoyment for the fic by leaving likes, comments, and reblogging!

Summary: Roger has a chat with the band, and does some more thinking.

(Roger can be Ben Hardy!Rog or Real!Rog. Whatever stirs your soup.)

WARNINGS: Swearing, s l o w b u r n, Mentions of sex (BuT nO sMuT [yet(?)]), no revision and editing bc I’m lazy, I think that’s it.

This one is leaning more towards an M rating than a T, so read at your own risk.

“Eh… no no no. Take it from the top. Roger?”

The blond looked through the window to Freddie, who just made it to the practice.

He was wearing some ridiculous flashy outfit as usual, a pair of massive white sunglasses resting on the bridge of his nose while an equally distracting burgundy coat made its presence known on the singer’s shoulders. Whether he wore a shirt underneath is still a mystery.

In his right hand, Freddie held a steaming hot cup of tea, gripped tight by his long fingers, each nail painted black. From the waist down, although he couldn’t see, Roger wouldn’t be surprised if Freddie was wearing booty shorts.

"You okay, Love?“

He only responded with a simple thumbs up, and an unenthusiastic look on his face; and although Fred didn’t seem too convinced, the music started playing, and Roger tried his part again.

"Been out of the flow all morning,” Brian informed the frontman, biting his thumbnail and crossing his legs from the wall he leaned against. “He got here, and didn’t count us in the first few times we played. Figured he needed some time to play for himself.”

"Hm,“ Freddie acknowledged, taking a peek at some loose papers scattered around the control desk and taking a sip of his tea.

"And how long ago did you two decide this?“

"Forty five minutes ago,” John grumbled at his spot at the control desk, legs crossed, and head propped up with his hand in bore.

"We tried confronting him and he’s not speaking,“ Brian explained. “Gave you a call and no one answered the phone. We assumed you were on your way.”

Freddie looked around the room, and he pointed at the second, empty seat at the control desk. “Where’s–”

After another timing mistake, Roger flung his drumstick towards the window, shouting profanities when the stick just riccoched and hit him right back, and startling the other three men in the process.

"… Y/n,“ Freddie finished carefully, eyes wide and focused on Roger’s movements.

"We both assume she’s got somethin’ to do with it. He won’t say anything.” John mumbled with a shrug.

Freddie pursed his lips, and sighed, scanning the control desk for the PA system’s button.

"Rog, my Love. Just… put the drumsticks down.“

Roger, who was about to send his second drumstick against the wall to meet the fate his first one did, lowered his arm slowly to his side, eyeing his band’s frontman in the window, who was twiddling his fingers at him.

"Good. Now, come on in here. We’re all gonna sit down. Have a chat.“

Roger’s shoulders slumped, and he left the recording room so he could regroup with his three other bandmates. Roger just frowned. Just as he suspected, Freddie was sporting a pair of body shorts.

Freddie moved his eyes from Roger to the empty seat next to John.

The drummer dropped into the chair, letting it roll him a little bit away from the staring eyes of the others.

"The others here tell me you’ve been a little… upset, since you’ve been here this morning."

Roger scoffed, and tried to stand from his chair, but Freddie dropped a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"I know there’s something wrong,” Freddie quietly mumbled. “We just wanna help you. Tell us what’s wrong, and you’re helping us, too.”

Roger chewed the inside of his cheek, looking guiltily towards John and Brian. “… Hope you know I didn’t mean to shout earlier, yeah?"

"Kind of assumed so, yeah,” John offered a kind smile, to which Roger tried to return, but he just looked uncomfortable.

"It’s uh… it’s just, um…“

"Is… y'know… is y/n okay?”

Roger’s smile fell. “Wait, why? Why would she not be okay? Did you get a phone call from her?!” Roger stood up, “oh my God, is she okay?!”

"Hey, hey, hey, calm down, calm down!“ Brian intervened, hands up. "She’s fine. We’ve heard nothing from her. We were just asking you.”

Roger sat back down, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand and sighing deeply. “Look, I’m sorry. Yes. Yeah, it is her. She’s… Driving me nuts right now.”

"Why now? You two were perfectly fine last week.“

"It’s been the interactions with the neighbours,” Roger complained. “do you know how hard it is not to start sweating every time we hold hands in public now?”

John frowned. “But… You hold other girls’ hands all the time. Why would y/n be different?”

"I don’t know! I don’t know and that’s why I’m like this!“

Freddie smirked, and Roger could sense the glint in his eyes despite them still being covered by his sunglasses.

"Seems to me,” Freddie popped his lips. “Roger’s in love with y/n.”

John smirked at the thought, and Brian had this wide grin on his face Roger really wanted to slap off.

"Fred, I really don’t think that’s the problem here–“

”‘Ts weird. I’ve always had a thing for y/n, maybe I’m in love with her.“

"Seeing a girl naked by accident doesn’t mean you’re in love with her, John.” Roger snapped back nearly immediately, to which Brian chimed in:

"Funny how you’re the one telling John that when I had to say the same thing to you in high school.“

Roger was mad, but he was even more embarrassed. His face was a deep scarlet, and Freddie wasn’t sure if the colour of Roger’s cheeks were because of his fury, or because he knew Brian was right.

"Come talk to me, Roger. Talk to the King of Love,” Freddie coaxed Roger with his index finger as he fell back dramatically on the sofa against the wall opposite the control table.

Roger simply rolled his eyes and relocated to the empty seat on the sofa by Freddie’s feet. The frontman kicked his bare legs out and crossed them over Roger’s lap while stretching this thin arms and placing them behind his head.

"When’d this all start happening, Rog? I mean the weird feelings.“

To this, the drummer simply shrugged. "Last week we had dinner at the neighbours’. The husband was talking about children, and marriage, and it was like…"

Brian and John raised their eyebrows expectantly.

"It was like I wasn’t acting anymore.”

Freddie gave a knowing smile, and hummed gently. “Did you feel comfortable? Being domestic and romantic with her?"

"Fred, I’ve lived with those two for three years, and they have zero personal space.” Brian’s eyes moved from his reflection in Freddie’s sunglasses to the stressful gaze in Roger’s. “… is it different?”

"Bri, I had women over all the time when we lived with you. I had no reason to have a girlfriend. I slept around, got the physical affection I needed, and she was just a friend…“

John pursed his lips. ”Was,“

Roger nodded a little, his eyes casting downward and burning holes into his already torn jeans. "Yeah. Was."

The blond suddenly looked up at his other bandmates. "We’re pretending to be a couple in a conservative, strict neighbourhood. It’s not like y/n would allow me to invite groupies home with us while catty neighbours spy on us from across the way. I’m not getting the physical attention I used to have, especially since sleeping around is impossible now."

The room then fell silent, and no one exactly made an immediate effort to say anything.

And then John gave a half-shrug.

"Why don’t you ask y/n?"

"Ask her what?”

"Ask her to give you that attention,“ Freddie finished John’s point in a matter-of-fact tone.

”No,“ Roger gasped. "No. No no no!"

"What? It’s a great idea,” Brian tried to reason.

"It’s bloody suicide! What would she think of me?! A sex-addict? A creep? A waste of time?“

”Roger,“ Brian stopped Roger’s listing. "She’s a single, gorgeous woman who loves you with all her heart, romantically-speaking, or not. You two already have this sort of secret commitment thing happening anyways but with housing rather than physical affection.”

"And your point is…?“

Freddie took over for Brian then with a sigh. "She has nothing to lose. You have nothing to lose. Why would adding onto your deal be a bad thing?"

To this, Roger didn’t respond. He didn’t have an answer. Freddie continued. "You sleep with women with no strings attached all the time. Living with your best friend while also bedding her doesn’t seem like a bad idea. What are you gonna do, catch feelings for her? You’re just horny.”

"… Do you really think that’s all that’s wrong?“

"That you’re stressed and just need a good lay?” John clarified.

"Absolutely.“

It was almost as if a weight had been lifted off Roger’s shoulders. All of his past issues were gone, out of his mind.

He had nothing to worry about.

"There’s that smile we all needed,” Freddie gushed at Roger, who lowered his head in mild embarrassment.

"C'mon Rog. Let’s get to work.“ Freddie jumped up to stand before the control table, and Brian took a seat next to John. Roger returned to his drum kit inside the recording room, and after a count-in, Roger started drumming.

Needless to say, practice was flawless for the rest of the day.

_______________________________

A/A/N: I hope y’all enjoyed! Remember, new chapter up tomorrow!

@culturefiendtrashqueen @luvborhap @amy-brooklyn99 @scarsout @kimmietea @ohtheseboysilove @demo-wise @suavishowell @bohemianahoy @pippin248

#bohemian rhapsody #roger taylor #roger taylor x reader #ben hardy #ben hardy x reader #john deacon #brian may #freddie mercury

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figuringouthowtobehere · 3 years

Text

please dont reblog this

i dont have many ppl to talk to. so here i am, screaming into the void that is my tumblr again.

im mostly posting this because im alone. im really really fucking alone. and im hoping i might, idfk, make a solid, trustable connection from tumblr??? idfk. im alone in the world.

please dont reblog this

cw family issues, su*cidality, abandonment, abuse, childhood abuse, trauma, being alone in the world

i have no one to go to. my entire life since i was a baby all ive ever been able to do is survive at the skin of my teeth. and here i am, 20, breathing, trying so fucking hard to live and, idk if im succeeding. im doing my film shit which is cool but. im alone. im on my own. im alone in the world. i never had parents. like, obviously i had parents, but they were never parents, dyou know what i mean? like the people who genetically made me were around but they were abusing me or just being awful or refusing to listen to me about what i needed from them, from their parenthood.

i had a conversation with my mom yesterday (after two days of not being able to get a hold of her and really really needing to) and i was basically just like ‘why cant you be my mom’ and she was like ‘i am your mom’ and i was like ‘well, yeah, but youre not--you cant--you dont mother me. and you dont mother me in the ways i need you to.’ and she was like ‘what does that look like to you?’ and i said ‘someone who i can turn to, always, someone who has my back no matter what, someone who respects me and what i need and who listens to me and trusts my experience and, yeah, someone who i can turn to always’ and she said ‘i mean i can talk with you on the phone, i can tell you what i think you should do, i can try to give you advice from my experience, but as far as someone having your back 24/7 always, i cant do that’ and we ended up talking about how im an adult now - and she was talking about it in the sense of ‘youre a grown man now, you dont need your mom like that anymore’ - and im like ‘ya, i am basically a grown man but i still need my mom. i still need parents.’ and i think im gonna end up cutting contact with her again because its too hard to simultaneously grieve her not being the mom i need and also talk to her. if im not talking to her then i can deal with the idea that i dont have a mother, that i dont have parents and i probably never will.

ive never really had people. i never really had friends when i was a child and i dont really have friends now. maybe its cause im trans, maybe its cause im autistic, maybe its cause im mixed, i dont know, but generally people in the world dont like me or it takes them a long time to not hate me. it doesnt matter why right now the point is i never had people (like, a support system) and i dont now.

so yeah im pretty seriously thinking about killing myself (or, trying to anyway). i dont wanna die but ive spent my whole life trying to just. be a person. and find contentment. and everything in my life ends up going awful or causing me a lot of trouble at some point or another. ive come to expect it. whenever anything happens in my life im just like ‘when will this go wrong. how long will it take this time.’ and im alone. im just fucking on my own. and i know theres lots of people who are and have been more alone than i am/have been and i admire these people so fucking much like GO YOU!! YOUFUCKING DID IT!!! HELL YEAH! im so proud of u. for real, i have so much respect for all yall reading this who have made it through shit and made it through being alone in the world. you fucking got this. youre doing it. good fucking job!!!!! ✨ but then. idk ig it doesnt take away from this being incredibly fucking difficult for me. pretty much everything in my life was fucked from birth to age 18 and now over half of everything in my life is fucked. which is better, for sure, but its still. ive never had a chance. idk it just seems to me like it doesnt matter. i can try and try and do all the therapies and take all the psych meds a psychiatrist might give me and i can meditate all the time. it just seems like im Doomed. (WOW i sound dumb and childish) like ik logically this is probably incorrect, that im not actually just.. doomed but thats how it feels. whenever a good thing happens im just waiting for it to collapse on me. and usually it does in way or another. generally not because of anything ive done or havent done, it just ends up being shit.

and then. ive never had anyone. i dont have anyone. im alone in the world. like its not that im ignoring people i do have or choosing to omit them from my mind right now. i have a singular friend in the place where i live; my other two friends both live in the states. i live with someone who was a support for me until like last ... july or so, i think, who now makes me feel like shit (they arent being malicious its just a bunch of issues in our relationship. theres more on that in stuff ive posted before, if you feel like digging through my posts for a while go ahead and youll find more on that) and i have like 5% (out of 100%) trust for them. i have a therapist who i see once a week and ik shes invested in me, but thats her job. and i cant just call her whenever i want. i have several people for film stuff but theyre either just casual pals and then colleagues or just colleagues. i know a lot of people, who dont really show any investment in me as a person or their relationship with me and who i dont really click well with. and thats it.

and im so. im so in love with Film. all of it. (not The Film Industry obviously.) im so fucking in love with it. the only real concrete reason that i wont end up killing myself in the next like month or two is because Film. and i just. need. people. i need parents. or something. fuck.

i think part of this is probably the long-term ramifications of ongoing childhood sexual, physical, and psychological abuse and never really having good, consistent support cause id be surprised if that didnt fuck with my brain (and, yk, untreated severe childhood brain damage from tbis beginning at less than a year old). but it doesnt really matter does it. ive been through the shit time and again and its not like anyone has appeared and been like ‘hello, i see you never had parents, this is who i am, would you like to get to know each other for a while and maybe i could be your mom?’ cause thats literally what i need. i need parents. like i know theres a thing of ‘if you didnt have parents then you cant undo that damage’ but like idk. if someone has a bunch of unhealed broken bones that got broken years ago that are now causing them a lot of pain you wouldnt just be like ‘sorry, i see youre in trouble from this shit, but because it happened years ago theres nothing we can do’ cause there is??? i forget how i was gonna say this before but like. i didnt have parents. with the ‘parents’ i had its a scientific anomaly i lived past age three. i refuse to believe that having Good Parents and a Good Support System now would do nothing for me. cause it would.

im also facing impending homelessness due to a) welfare/disability programs not giving you enough to live off and b) not having a roommate/not having support systems/not having people. so that doesnt help.

i dont know how to do this. im on my own. im doing all i can. ive reached out to everyone i feel like i could reach out to and. im on my own.

help. i guess. idk what that means but im, once again, at an incredibly fucking AWFUL point in my life and i need help. i doubt anyone will be able to but. if youre able to then. idk. do something. ik that i sound desperate and pitiful and i literally dont care at all because i literally am desperate for support and i literally am at - ANOTHER - extremely low point in my life and its pitiful. im cringing at myself actually posting this because its like ‘you think youre actually find what you need via a tumblr post? where are you? cause thats not real life dude’ but i dont fucking have people to talk to (as you have already understood 🙃) and im tired and tired and tired and tired.

if you took the time to read this i thank you and i hope ur day is going vvv well

please dont reblog this!!

#childhood abuse tw #tw #tw alone in the world #suicide tw #please dont reblog this #no rb #homelessness tw

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laytonsartblog · 4 years

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Okay so I'm dumb here's a one shot

I know I said everything that's a story would be posted on AO3, but, I have dumbass energy and was inspired by the reblog I made earlier and it is 2 am on a school night so WOOO incoherency is at an ALL TIME HIGH

@infinimay whoop tagged u for what I'll call the Bus Duty AU

Perhaps I'll make this a series?? Something light, fluffy, nothing too heavy on the angst (okay I lied)

The Wheels on the Bus (Spin the Tales of Love)

Chapter 1., Like Patton

Virgil and Damian woke up to get to school at precisely 7:30 am, and to be ready by 8:10 for when their bus arrived, every school day.

Their mother, which is now Virgil's stepmother, always said that a tight schedule and tighter patience is what wins people over. That must be how she got Virgil's idiot dad, who took nearly three years of coy smiles and teasing touches to even start dating. They had married this year, and while Virgil is certainly happy about it, he didn't realize that it came with having to deal with a new stepbrother.

That's why, instead of 7:30 and 8:10, Virgil rises at 7:15 and is waiting by 8:00. Their mother never notices, never needing to wake up this early for work, and their dad works night shift. They were by themselves, but they handled it for nine year olds. Virgil especially figured out how to handle it as soon as he figured out that despite all this change, he was still by himself.

"Vi! Vi!" Damian, or DeeDee as he liked to be called, shouted as he approached Virgil at the bottom of the street. "Why do you never wait for me?"

Virgil shrugged. "I don't know, you give me a weird feeling, like cooties, but nice? Like wriggling worms in my head. It's sticky."

There was silence between them as they waited for their bus.

"You give me wiggly feelings too. Truce?" Damian suddenly said after what seemed to be forever to their adorable little minds, and he outstretched a hand.

Virgil took it. "Pleasure doing business, Worm boy."

Damian pouted and pulled his hand back, but didn't need to wait much longer in cute anger as the bus pulled up to their street. Seemingly forgetting the nickname, he pulled Virgil along onto the bus.

"Hey, kiddos!" their favorite, and only bus driver greeted as they sat in the front row.

Virgil never liked the bus, despite how early he was this year. It was loud and cranky and he had to sit next to DeeDee and there were always the mean kids who flicked his head as if a ping-pong ball on the way to their seats. The one thing that made it bearable was the fact he got to sit close to Patton.

Patton had allowed them to use his first name from the get go, inspiring names like "Patting!" from the kindergarteners or "Shatting" from the mean sixth graders. Virgil never tainted the name for he saw no reason to change what was already his favorite part of the morning.

Patton gave them treats on their birthday, never forgetting a single one. Patton hugged them when they were sad and showed them that crying was okay. Patton never yelled or screamed when things got too loud; he knew better than to plague these children with learned behavior, scorn, and hatred. Instead he'd play games that involved the whole bus to busy everyone, or at the very least play music and encourage them to sing along or guess the song.

Patton made things better. But Virgil knew he was sad.

Today, even with Damian's unwavering questions at everything he saw and with the fake stories he kept saying to the kid in the seat next to them, even he could tell that their bus driver was tired.

The two observant fourth graders watched as their second father didn't smile as brightly as he usually did whenever he greeted the kids getting on. He sagged; sluggish and baggy. Virgil noticed he looked a lot like his cousin Remy before a test under his eyes.

However, despite how observant, Virgil never knew how to comfort the gentle man. It's why he and Damian are in the front row. The doctors said he has a "speech impediment" where he couldn't put the words in his head to the outside world quite right. They said his brain was wrong. He knew Damian had a streak of lying and throwing tantrums. It's why he didn't like his new brother; he only served to make him look stupider.

Still, that didn't stop Virgil from putting a hand to Patton's shoulder, at least not entirely. He didn't expect for him to gasp and jump, but Virgil didn't exactly know what to expect anyway. He just pulled his hand back and looked down at his ripped pants in shame the rest of the bus ride.

They got there slower than Virgil had thought, but no, they were on time. Perhaps his brain was being weird again? He couldn't tell, but either way he walked begrudgingly by Damian into the school.

They passed by their school's office on the way into the gym, which is where you wait until school started. Virgil, again, ever the observant one, saw his school secretary in the window.

He was what was best described as professionally squabbled, or in Virgil's terms, cleanly messy. Mr. Nguyen had hair that was combed back just so and glasses that hid all his worries and fears. He had impeccable pressed ties that, on the occasion, got festive when a holiday came around. He had skilled hands and Virgil hadn't walked by a day where he wasn't working or presenting a board meeting or, if he wasn't doing that, wasn't there at all for the whole day.

Virgil never really disliked Mr. Nguyen. He had no reason to like him either. But right now, Virgil could see he looked exactly like Patton did; utterly miserable.

"Hey, DeeDee, y'see Mr. Nguyen? In the window?" Virgil whispered as he sat right at the entrance so he could get a good look at him.

Damian merely ignored him. "We always see him. What's the big deal?"

"The big deal is," Virgil started, already frustrated with the words that wouldn't come out. "He like- he- he's Patton today."

Damian rose a brow, a suspicious trait he most likely picked up from his mother. "You mean he looks like Patton did today?"

Virgil could only nod in relief. "Yeah! He looks Patton today. Do you think the teachers look like that today?"

Damian scanned around the room. He saw nothing out of the ordinary on the teachers' face. However, he did spot a certain trashy boy that Damian all but felt puppy love for. He waved him over. "Rem! Rem!"

The boy, peeking from the corner around his preoccupied brother at his name being called, grinned a crooked and partially toothless grin and ran over to Damian. They merely embraced before Remus took out his backpack, no doubt to reveal some gross frog from his collection.

Virgil cared less and just kept staring at the office, seeing Patton and a few other drivers come in for their mandatory morning report before they head out to go back to whatever they do when not driving. Patton still looked like a walking corpse.

Virgil vowed to take that frown away.

However, the school bell had other plans.

Virgil thinks that time really has slowed down, and maybe it isn't his stupid brain.

Every minute of class felt not as much a blur as it usually was. Usually, class was as easy as it got, and today he even got to skip out of gym for speech classes. He liked the speech teacher, Valerie. She allowed him to say her first name like Patton did. Virgil liked Valerie too.

But even his marvel at how fantastic his day had been so far didn't distract him from the fact his bus driver was unhappy.

Virgil sat with Damian and all the other broken kids at lunch. Remus was there too, and as much as he loved Damian off his back, the two talking about frogs and the fact the French eat frog legs was already starting to get on his nerves. He just focused on his sandwich and juice box, never saying a word.

It became time to throw out the food, and Virgil knew it was gametime. He looked to everyone at the table before rushing, the other two running to throw out their styrofoam plates the fastest.

Sadly, like always, Virgil's dreams of success were barred by Remus's long, nimble legs and long, skinny arms.

Virgil wanted to pout and tell them that Remus always wins, but Mr. Glover came in to clean and one look sent the three of them scrambling to recess.

Today they had art time, and Virgil had never been more determined in his life.

He grabbed construction paper, glue, crayons, markers, tape, and a How-To: pop up book. They were supposed to be making Thanksgiving cards for one of the staff members, and technically he was following what he was supposed to do. It was just that Patton's name hadn't been listed on the board to write to for their fake post office.

No matter. He would make the best card ever to cheer up his favorite and only bus driver. Damian seemed more interested in watching Remus eat the glue stick and then calling for them to go to the nurse.

Virgil ignored the two's antics in favor of focusing on his masterpiece.

Finally, at the end of the day, with high hopes and spirits and even better hope for Patton, Virgil all but ran to the bus he remembers so clearly beyond anything else. Damian followed close behind, sitting beside him in the seat they always sat.

Virgil heard Patton greet him, as always. Virgil could still hear how tired he was. He looked as pale as Virgil did.

Virgil, without prompting, took out his card and shoved it into Patton's hands before taking his seat and covering himself up with his hoodie as far in the seat as he could go.

Patton watched the young boy sat back down in a hurry before looking down at the card. The craftsmanship, of course, could be better, but honestly Patton could hardly care. He read the "I Think Your Cool" at the top and then a hand drawing of a turkey, covered in glitter and Patton's signature blue.

Patton almost cried, and then did cry when he saw the inside.

It held handwritten words with a picture of presumably Virgil fighting away the storm clouds over Patton; the bus with muscles and also beating up the stormcloud. The words wrote "I saw your sad face. I want to fix it. See! Fixed it!"

When Patton looked up, sniffling and holding the card dear to his heart, he saw Virgil peaking out from his jacket. That little boy held the softest smile and even Damian stopped for a moment to grin, gap tooth apparent but not even a hint of malice could fill Patton at this moment.

Last night had been so awful, but maybe today hadn't been so bad. No, today had been fantastic. Virgil fixed his heart for just a moment.

Edit: the card! Made by moi

#sanders sides #patton sanders #virgil sanders #sanders sides fanfiction #sander sides angst #Bus Duty AU #eventual logicality #the dark bois are gonna save the day #with an addition of Roman #after a while #whooooweee it is 4 am and I have nOT slept gn

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bekahdoesnerdshit · 4 years

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no one else has reblogged ask meme Mondays so I'm just going fucking apeshit with u. from the big boy: b7 for raini bc it's funny, c1 for cog bc it's inchresting, h3 for brilliance bc I know there's some gay shit going on and I want to hear more, then a17 (character proud of themselves or ur proud of ur rp as them) L5 and L6 for whomsoever u want to talk about

I won’t need a readmore for this one, I tell myself. There’s not that many questions, and they’re not proseboys. I was a fool. She’s too long to be allowed to run on people’s dashboards unrestrained 😔 Thank you! For going apeshit!!

Raini

B7. How do they respond to babies crying in public? I guarantee the image you have for how Raini would react to a crying baby is 10000% correct. She’s unhappy. Uncomfortable. Unimpressed. Can you please make that thing be quiet. Why did you have it if you can’t mange it. This is why she’s never having kids. Like she’s not gonna say anything to the parents or shoot them dirty looks, because she’s not that specific flavor of asshole, but she’s going Mind Her Business and vacate the premises if possible. People who want to take care of something should just get a cat. Goddamn. There is ONE (1) baby that may qualify for an exception, and that’s Red. This is because (and please, picture Raini, the absolute picture of ‘fed up’, squatting down to look a fussy Red in the eye while she says this) “Baby Lent. You’re better than this. I know you are, and you’re letting me down. You need to stop making that noise.” This is unrelated to the question, but please also picture a Raini who was asked (blackmailed?) into babysitting using her Mage Hand to change Red’s diaper. It has nothing to do with the question but I think it’s a Very funny mental image. Thank you.

Cog

C1. Does your OC have a moral code? If not, how do they base their actions? If so, where does it come from, and how seriously do they take it? Absolutely! The way Cog approaches the world is defined by three main mantras: - Kindness is a discipline, not a character trait. - Doing the right thing isn’t always easy, but it is always worth doing. - If you are able to help someone, you have an obligation to do so. Between these three things, Cog sees the world in pretty black and white terms. There are right decisions, and wrong ones. The difference between the two is usually clear to anyone who cares to look, and so most of the evil in the world is born of selfishness. Consequently, Cog does very poorly in morally grey situations. She will commit without hesitation to any course of action that she deems “right” and “kind” no matter how drastic or dangerous it is, but she pretty much shuts down the second she’s faced with a decision that has consequences for someone regardless of what she does. I’m sure that has not, and will not, come in her life ever at all. Ahah! I think originally, this worldview was born of naivety. She grew up that religious kind of super sheltered where everything in the secular world was dangerous and dirty, and so when Cog began to realize that definitely wasn’t the case she made the choice to intentionally see the best in people and the world around her to fight what she was told growing up. When she started traveling with her party and actually seeing more of the world than the extremes of a) shitty cult town b) shiny clean magic school, she began to realize that the true state of the Wasteland was somewhere between what her Mama had told her and what she wanted to believe it was. But I’ve never in my life made a character who is stubborn as hell deep down, so instead of letting the world she found herself in change her Cog took a deep breath, rolled up her sleeves, and settled in to be the one changing it by loving and helping the people around her.

Brilliance

H3. Does your OC believe there’s only one ideal partner (or multiple ideal if not monogamous) for everyone, or that there are many people who could be right? I think Brilliance absolutely adores the idea of two people being made for one another. Two souls, wandering the world looking for one another? Who slot together so perfectly that when they find each other it’s clear they never could have fit anywhere else? Bruh. Yes, she knows love takes work. Sometimes you and your partner are going to disagree, and sometimes there’s going to be conflict. The world isn’t “love at first sight” then smooth sailing for the rest of your life. But you put in the work to make your lives better, together, because the universe gave you this person to care for. Maybe there are many people who you could be happy with, and those relationships aren’t anything to look down on. But when you find The One, Brilliance thinks, you know. She certainly did.

Don’t Worry About It

A17. What’s one of your OC’s proudest moments of themselves? Gonna hijack this question to talk about rp moments I’m proud of because Alex sorta kinda gave me permission to do that! Alright! For Raini, the biggest rp moment I’m proud of was her “I’m getting our memories back” speech a few sessions ago, specifically the line, “We’ve been fighting with one hand tied behind our backs for too long. If we’re going to die fighting this thing, I want to know exactly what I’m fighting for.” Morgan and I had been planning to kick off our return from July Hell Hiatus with Wish Two for a couple of days, which meant I was lucky enough to be able to spend a little while planning what to say. I feel like that line in particular embodies Raini’s unwavering confidence in her magic, her determination, and her specific brand of caring for the people around her without actually admitting that’s what she’s doing. I also really liked the way the scene of her apologizing to the party for being Bitchy post losing Magic for a minute went! Idk if anyone else remembers it, because it was pretty short in game, but! I thought it was a very good moment of Raini finding the most Roundabout way to say “thank you for looking out for me while I was defenseless”. If I can pat myself on the back a little, my Cog monologues kick Ass. The most recent one was when she was talking to Ace about how War is Bad (radical, I know) and there was a moment where she looked at him and said, “...I’m not going to ask for your help, because I don’t know what I’ll do if I do and you say no.” Which. OOF. That was her and I realizing in real time that she and Ace were very much on different sides of this issue. When the session ended everyone said they Loved how good and hurtful that conversation was and I :’) Also, there was a really small moment when Cog was pleading for Maelo’s life (when Sunny’s dad had him locked in a cat carrier. It’s a Long story, made slightly better by the fact that Maelo was wildshaped into a cat at the time) and Cog went Straight for the dad heartstrings by sniffling and asking if, please, would Robert at least let her say goodbye to her friend before he killed him? Please? 😢 She is using her baby face for EVIL! And oh my god how could I forget! Arcane Timeout! When the party went back to New Alexandria and was confronted by Ace for helping a prisoner escape (which, in fairness, Maelo did do) and Cog brought the encounter screeching to a halt by casting Wall of Stone to make a timeout hut with herself and Ace inside. She then sat herself down, looked Ace dead in the eye, and told him that the wall wasn’t coming down until he actually talked to her, or until he broke her concentration on the spell. She banked hard on him not being willing to hurt her, and it paid off. There were tears all around, both in and out of character. It was Wonderful. Also! I do just want recognition for the fact that I did not give into my impulses to be a little Shit as Cog last session by subtle casting Heal in Ace’s face after he Counterspelled my Healing Word. it was what I Rebekah wanted to do more than anything; unfortunately Cog is a better person than I am. There is No worse feeling than wanting so badly to do something you have no choice but to admit isn’t in character. Rip. For whatever reason, all of my favorite Brilliance rp moments came during combat. Pressing her forehead to Sabre’s after he died in silent grief, forcefully taking a Narzugon off his Nightmare and then using Misty Step to mount it herself and take off after her friend, planting herself in the chokepoint of a hallway to stare down three minotaurs so she could keep her party safe behind her, pushing deeper into the hellwasp nest to rescue Dembe and Sabre despite knowing that doing so all but destroyed her chance of making it out alive, the list goes on. There were good out of combat moments too (despite the rest of the party’s best efforts 🙄), but I feel like for once I made a character who really shone in combat. oh GOD I just remembered one really really good rp moment, when our rogue Zihro died when he got separated from the party during combat. We finished taking care of the main devil we were fighting, then began searching the dungeon for Zihro and the npc he was with. We, instead, found both of their corpses. Dembe looked to Brilliance, our healer, and demanded to know why she was just standing there instead of fixing their friend. We were only level three or four at the time, so Brilliance had to tell Dembe, again and again, that she couldn’t fix Zihro. It was too late, she wasn’t powerful enough yet, her goddess wouldn’t answer a prayer like that- It was a rough scene, and without question one of the best rp moments I’ve had with that group. Tae, if you’re reading this, you’re the only one with rights. Also, please unfollow this blog immediately. Now as a quick pick-me-up after that mess, Pip’s best rp moment was when our barbarian Durokal -who couldn’t read and had a habit of running off and causing Problems- found a plaque he could tell had five words on it, and called Pip over to read it for him when Pip finished chasing him down. Pip, annoyed and out of breath and all of two feet tall, looked up at this 7 foot half-orc and told him, “It says: I’m. Gonna. Kick. Your. Ass.” Also, he regularly called very powerful figures in Barovia by sweet nicknames with “Mr.” in the front. As a sign of Respect. Because he’s the Best. sdfhsdkfj he also he couldn’t think of a fake name quick enough one time so he told an npc that is name was Dick and he was Very embarrassed about it. She: bought it!

Brilliance, Again

L5. Which OC do you think is the most decent morally or behaviorally? AKA, which is supposed to a “good guy”? The answer is Cog, but we already went in depth on her morals this ask. She’s HAD enough screen time let’s move on. Brilliance is the only other character who, if asked, would say they saw themselves as a good guy instead of just “a person”. She strives to do right by the people around her, and to protect the light and beauty found in the world. She doesn’t have the same illusions about the world wanting to be a good place that Cog does, and she very much understands that sometimes the best thing you can do for the world is to put the things that make it dangerous six feet under. What’s interesting I think is that, despite being a paladin, she isn’t Lawful Good! She’s Neutral Good, because you know what? She wants to do the right thing, and laws aren’t always right. It’s up to you, as a person with a mind and free will and agency, to look at a situation and decide what you think is the right thing to do. And, for Brilliance, generally the right thing to do is heft her sword, raise her shield, and face trouble head on.

Raini, Once More

L6. Which OC do you think is the worst morally or behaviorally? AKA, which is supposed to be a “bad guy”? I don’t have any evil aligned characters, because I personally find things like “getting along with my party members” sexy, but the character who’s the shittiest and the worst is obviously Raini. She’s not a bad person per say, she’s just selfish and results oriented. Very much “the ends justify the means” and in a party like hers she’s aware that somebody has to be the bad guy sometimes, and she’s not afraid to make sure that’s her. She’s also very very likely to fall victim to her hubris making her feel like she definitely knows what’s best, and acting on that maybe without consulting other people (see: the whole fucking premise of the campaign). She sees a goal, she sees a way to accomplish that goal, so why shouldn’t she begin taking the necessary steps to reach it? I think the events of the game have mellowed this flaw out a little bit, but you can still see traces of it in the way she, for example, wordlessly handed Lent a bunch of diamonds before launching her consciousness into the Abeast and very nearly dying in there without consulting with the party first. It happens! Also, behaviorally, she’s just. I mean. She’s like that. The worst. And that, I promise, will never change.

#syn-odics #Rainivere #amnesia campaign #cog #wasteland campaign #brilliance #dia #word count: 2273 #new tag! just for my own personal edification #answered #mine

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frightgothcar · 5 years

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HEY! Hey, you, reading this!!! I fuckin love writing but what I need to be able to write is a little thing called approval!! If you like this please comment and/or reblog!!!!!!!!!!

Area 51 au thingy. Danny/Wes. Songfic? Not really but the whole idea came from this song. V is based off of @its-towarzysz (main)/ @we-all-horny-here (sanders sides sideblog)/ @cockworktower (dp side blog) you should check them out, they make hella good content. Thanks to all my friends who helped me with motivation/proofreading. Tw for Death, Blood, Guns, and Violence. (Tell me if I forgot anything). I love this pairing and the lack of content sparks deep anger in my soul!! :)) Thanks for reading, enjoy!!

EDIT: Posting this on ao3 also @/godcannotdefeatfanfic

September 20th, 10:30 am

Area 51

Wes Weston had nothing to live for. Ever since his Mom had gone out for cigarettes on his 6th birthday and never come back his life had been a constant downward spiral. Maybe that was why he was in the middle of the Nevada desert, preparing to attempt to rush a highly armed government facility with a million other suicidal Millenials.

He fanned his face with his hand. It was over 86 degrees and he was practically melting in his Casper High spirit T-Shirt and blue jeans. He contemplated getting into his pickup truck and blasting the a/c but considering he only had a quarter tank of gas left, and it was a good 20 miles to the nearest gas station, he decided against it. Instead, he got onto his phone and texted his friends for the third time that morning.

Basketball-Boi: where r yall? its hot.

Phurry: we’re just driving in!! Do u see us?

Basketball-Boi: uhhh whats ur car look like

Phurry: the silver one

Basketball: V there are like a million silver ones what kind of car

Phurry: uhh Val says its called a subaru we’re right by a black car

Red_Huntress: They’re standing on the roof and waving. Can you see us now?

Wes looked up from his phone to see a person, about his age, standing on the roof of a silver Subaru, wearing a black band t-shirt and neon green booty shorts. Their long blond ponytail swished around their face as they jumped up and down excitedly. A girl stepped out of the car and began scolding her friend. She was wearing a matching red pair of shorts, there was black lettering on her backside that he couldn’t quite make out. He began waving back, which only excited the blond more. They lept over the brown-skinned girl and bolted towards Wes.

“Ready to fuck some aliens, Basketball-Boi?” They pulled him into a tight embrace.

“I was born ready!” He laughed, “How are you, V?”

“Pretty gay, thanks for asking.”

Wes opened his mouth to speak but V cut him off with an excited shout.

“Oh! That reminds me!” They slipped their arms out of their backpack straps and dug through the mint green bag for a minute before pulling a pair of hot pink shorts, “I wanted us all to match! Made ‘em myself!”

They flipped the shorts around to reveal ‘100% Nasty’ embroidered onto the ass in black. They then turned around to show off their own message, that read ‘Trash Man’.

“I made one for Val too, c’mon, we have to wear them!!”

Wes grabbed the shorts and held them to his hips. “Is this what you needed my measurements for?”

They nodded enthusiastically, “I was gonna make us team jackets, but that’s so cliche.”

“Huh, I mean, don’t get me wrong, these are… great, but are you sure pink is my color?”

V rolled their eyes, “Of course I’m sure, Wes! Just put them on, you’ll see.”

Wes sighed and walked behind his red truck for some privacy, not that there was much of that, the field was crowded with cars. He pulled down his blue jeans, thankful for the breeze on his legs, and pulled on the shorts. They were a perfect fit, clinging to his waist, and resting on his barely existent hips. The feeling of showing so much skin was odd to him, he’d never worn anything that short in public, but the look on V’s face made it all worth it to him. They didn’t laugh like he’d been expecting them to, instead clapping their hands and going on about how relieved they were that the shorts actually fit. He did a quick turn for them, and they nodded in satisfaction.

“I think it’s about time we caught up to Val, did y’all remember to bring soda?”

“Only the finest Mountain Dew the 7/11 could provide, M’lady,” V grinned.

“Than shall we be going, M’lord?” Wes held out his arm.

“Indubitably.” V linked their arm through his and they wandered through the crowd, searching for Valerie’s silver Subaru.

“Wes! V! Over here!” Val called, waving the hand that wasn’t holding a Mountain Dew at her friends. The two of them waved back and jogged toward her.

“Hey Val, long time no see,” Wes grinned as he pulled her into a hug.

“I missed ya, Weston,” Val reached up to ruffle his hair, but Wes dodged, pulling her into a headlock instead.

“Missed ya too, Grey,” He gave her a noogie and released her, leaving her free to jump onto him and boost herself high enough to get revenge.

“Aww, adorable! Old lovebirds rekindling an old flame?” V fluttered their eyelashes at their friends, who immediately recoiled.

“Ew, no! Wes? If I had to pick a guy, maybe. And that’s a hard maybe. I’m too gay for this.” Valerie picked up her can from the hood of her car and took a swig.

“Yeah! She’s like my little sister!”

“Hey, I’m older than you!”

“By like two weeks!”

V broke into laughter, “Cool it lovebirds, I’m only joking.”

Val and Wes rolled their eyes at V, who was now on the ground, rolling with laughter.

“Permission to pour some soda out onto our hilarious friend’s head?” Val asked teasingly.

“Permission granted! Fire at will!” Wes saluted. Val tipped her can enough to sprinkle V with the sticky green drink. They got to their feet, still laughing, and lunged for Val’s can. They knocked it backward, spilling soda all over Val’s shirt.

“EEK,” She squealed, “You’ll pay for this, Trash Man, If it’s the last thing I do!”

She tried to push the can towards V, but they still had a grip on her arm. They tugged the can back and forth for a few seconds before it crumpled under the pressure.

“Shit!” Val swore, letting go of the can and cradling her palm. “I think I cut myself.”

V dropped the can, game of tag forgotten, and crowded next to their friend. Wes joined their huddle.

“I think I have a first aid kit in my truck. How bad is it?” He asked.

Val opened her hand to reveal a small, but deep wound on the side of her palm.

“Shit, I’m so sorry, this is all my fault, if I hadn’t-” V began.

“Naw, it was as much my fault as yours. Anyway, we were having fun, and it’s really just a scratch. Keep focused on those Aliens, Private!” Val reassured them.

“Aye aye, Captain!”

Wes walked back to his truck, ignoring the stares of passerby. He grabbed his first aid kid (thank god for boy scouts) and walked back to Val’s car.

“So,” Wes ripped open a disinfecting wipe with his teeth and got to work cleaning her hand of blood. “How’s your dad?”

“He’s doing-” She drew in a sharp breath as he dabbed along the wound with a clean wipe. “Fine. The new job’s working out great, he’s happier than I’ve seen him in a while.”

Wes nodded and began wrapping her hand in gauze, “I’m glad. He wasn’t himself when you left.”

“It really all did work out for the better, didn’t it,” V smiled and handed Wes a length of medical tape. “Oh! I forgot! Val, show Wes what your ass says!”

She groaned, “Do I have to?”

V scowled, “Of course you have to, it was your idea!”

“I was just joking!”

“Tsk tsk, I think you’ve known me long enough to know that when it comes to cursed content, there are no jokes.”

“C’mon Val, it can’t be worse than ‘100% Nasty’,” Wes smirked.

V gasped dramatically and feigned offense, “You’ve wounded me! I work so hard, and for what, ungrateful friends?”

“Fine, if it’ll make you happy I’ll show him my ass. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.” She winked at him before turning to show her backside. Black embroidery spelled out ‘Booty Hunter’.

Wes burst out laughing, which quickly turned to hysteric noises only vaguely resembling laughter, squeals, and snorts with shrieking giggles between them. V and Val couldn’t help but join in. The second one of them stopped laughing someone would whisper Booty Hunter and it’d start all over again.

“Okay, okay,” Wes gulped in air, “We- hic -should calm down now.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Val wiped a tear from her eye, “I am the Queen of Calm.”

V got to their feet and dusted themself off. “Totally calm. Calmer than a… something calm.”

“When does the raid start?” Wes pulled out his phone and checked the time. 12:00.

“Around, 12:30ish, we have time.” V waved their hand.

“I dunno, it’s already 12, maybe we should start getting ready.”

“What do you mean it’s already-” V snatched the phone from his hand, “Huh. Time sure flies when you’re having fun.”

“Wait, get ready for what exactly? I mean, we’re here, we’ve got our shorts on, there’s enough Mountain Dew in my car to drown an elephant, what else is there to get ready?” Val questioned.

“Uhhh, I dunno, stretch?” Wes shrugged, “It just feels like we’re forgetting something. What exactly is the plan for this whole thing anyway? Are there gonna be waves? Do we all go at once? This is a pretty poorly organized event.”

Val shrugged, clearly unphased by the lack of organization, “We’ll just go when everyone else starts running. I’m sure the start of gunfire will tell us when.”

“Look, if it’s making you so worried, we can stretch before. I’m sure everything will be fine. Plus, we all get alien Girlfriends, so it’s a win-win!” V put their hand on his arm. Wes smiled thankfully down at them.

“Yeah, that’s probably it. Yall must think I’m being a nitpick-”

“Not at all! You’re probably right, after all, it must be at least a mile to the base from here, and we can’t let cramps keep us from sweet sweet alien romance.” Val propped her leg up on the hood of her car and pressed her head to her knee, “Plus that’ll give us an advantage over the Kyles.”

V nodded and fell into a lunge, “We’ve been training since July for this, can’t let it get away now because we forgot to stretch.”

Wes bent over and touched his toes, “Thanks y’all, you’re really the best friends I could ask for.”

The screech of a megaphone rang out through the valley. A voice came through the static, “Raiders! Get into position, we’re storming the gates in exactly fifteen minutes!”

A cheer broke through the crowd as people began chugging what was left of their sodas and migrating towards the front lines.

“Well, this is it I guess. If I don’t make it out of the raid, put this on my tombstone.” Wes gestured downward, where he was holding his hand in a circle.

“Dammit!” Valerie chuckled as Wes gave her a playful punch in the arm.

“You’ll never take me alive!” V shouted and sprinted forwards as Wes moved towards them.

“On your marks!”

“Wanna bet on that?” Wes shouted back, weaving through the crowd to catch up with them.

“Get set!”

V pushed forward, using their small frame to their advantage, easily losing the taller one in the crowd.

“Raid!”

The mob roared, then began thundering forward, but the deafening sounds of the people were nothing compared to what followed. Thousands of guns began firing at once, hitting everyone and everything in the vicinity. Wes watched with horror as the first wave of people were mowed down right before his eyes. A flash of neon green caught his eye through the carnage. He ran towards his friend, who was standing, paralyzed, next to a few other survivors. He shouted their name, and just as they turned their head another hailstorm of bullets rained down. The first one embedded itself right into V’s chest, right above their heart. Wes sprinted to catch his injured companion, but by the time he got there the life was already draining from their eyes.

“V! V, can you hear me? Don’t go into the light, hold on, ok? You’ve got this, V, answer me!”

He pressed his head to their chest, a weak heartbeat answered him. “It’s gonna be okay. Shhh, you’re okay.”

Something wet dripped down his face, and he realized he was crying.

“...Wes,” V rasped out, then began violently coughing up blood. Little flecks of red peppered Wes’ face like freckles. “Fuck an alien for me, okay? Can you promise me that?”

Their body went limp in his arms.

“V? V! V, wake up, please, that can’t be it, please V, you’re only 17, please!” He shook their corpse, but to no avail. V was gone. He closed his eyes and let out a shuttering breath before standing up, still clutching their body in his arms.

“Second wave! On your marks!” The megaphone blared to life.

The crowd let out another, less confident cheer. After seeing all the carnage most of the raiders were less enthusiastic to ‘see them aliens’. But this time Wes had made up his mind. He was going to make it into that Government facility, and he was gonna burn that motherfucker to the ground.

“Get set!”

He laid his friend on the ground and pressed a kiss to their forehead. If it wasn’t for the massive amount of blood they could’ve been sleeping.

“Go!”

Wes screamed with all the anger he had in him and charged forward. Bullets rained down near him, but this time there were less of them. This time he had a chance. He saw the gate coming closer. He was only 50 feet away, he could make it! He hopped over the fence, ignoring the blaring of sirens, and kept running. He pushed his way into the building, where, surprisingly, there was no security. It looked like they had invested all their soldiers into protecting the outside of the base. His adrenaline rush began to slow down. He dragged his feet down the linoleum hallway, looking at his bloodsoaked hands.

“What the fuck just happened?” He whispered to himself, still shellshocked. A flicker of light caught his eye. Grateful for a distraction, he turned his attention to what looked like a futuristic control panel. The buttons were labeled in some sort of code, their luminescent surfaces grinning up at him.

“Looking for me, Short-Shorts?” A calm voice echoed through the hall. Wes whipped around, ready for a fight.

“Why so on edge, Ginger? Surely I’m not that intimidating.” It purred.

“Who are you?!” Wes shouted. He winced at the echo. Did he really sound that unhinged?

“On your left.”

He turned and found himself face to face with the most beautiful boy he’d ever seen. He looked about his age, maybe 17. His skin was tan, but had a slight blueish tint, as if he’d been without oxygen for a while. Poking from his tuft of pearly white hair was a pair of blur antenna. He had a small build, maybe 5 feet tall at best, but was floating at eye level with Wes. Speaking of his eyes, they were quite possibly the most gorgeous thing about him. He had eyes greener and glowyer (is that even a word? Either way it was true.) than toxic waste, his pupils were like a cat’s, slit down the middle. He was clothed in a baggy black prison jumpsuit. He looked almost alien. Wes realized with a start that he must be an alien.

“Are you done staring?” The boy asked, snapping Wes out of his trance. “It won’t be long before the guards realize you’re in here, and I’d rather get out without a bullet hole.”

“I- I don’t- what are you?” Wes stammered.

“I’m Project Phantom, or Danny if you prefer. What’s your name?”

“I’m… Wes?”

#danny phantom #danny phantom fic #fanfiction #my writing #wes weston #danny phantom au #area 51 au #unidentified flying ship #wes x danny #danny x wes #wes/danny #danny/wes #i dont know what else to tag this #Gayrea 51

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femaleboysblog · 5 years

Text

♥ super(hero) love ♥

| hwang hyunjin x superhero!reader | sorry for any mistakes! english is not my first language!

part i | part ii (final)

word count: 3.4k

warnings: tumblr!au, fanfic writer!reader x fan!hyunjin, enemies to lovers, fluff!!!, minor violence cause u know superhero stuff yadda yadda, some cursing here and there, (1) alcohol mention,

A/N: just rewriting some old stuff :) | gender neutral reader (if you consider dude a gender neutral term lol)

“ Hi y/n! I’m sorry if i’m bothering you, but i just came by to say that i’ve read your last chapter last night and i can’t help but fall in love with your writing, you never disappoint! You’re always so creative when it comes to making stories and putting them into words, it’s almost like you’ve lived them! haha. So i just wanted to ask, where do you get your ideas? What are your inspirations? With love, Genie ;)”

Damn it. I stared at the ask i just received for a few long and tortuous minutes, definitely more than it was actually necessary. But hey, don't blame me for that, i mean, how in the hell i'm supposed to answer that? I can’t just go and say "Hi again Genie! Thank you for all the love, i really appreciate it! I get all my inspiration on my day-to-day life as a superhero. You probably have heard about me, i'm that one person with white clothes that shows all the time - if not every single day, in the morning news for saving and helping the city and their beloved citizens. Most people just call me 'the light hero' even though they know the right name for the supervillains, in special, Scarlet Devil - my arch enemy. In case you don't know my superhero name either, i go by Starlight. Kinda lame, i know. But it fits with the backstory of how i got my powers. Since it's a situation i went through, of course i'm going to know all the details in full experience and in first person, even that one where the protagonist rips his pants in the middle of a fight in the street and in front of everyone, only to reveal his red underwear constrasting the rest of the outfit, that is something i will never be able to forget, sadly. Hope i didn't disappoint you!" Let's be real, i could. Kinda. But i won't be doing that for obvious reasons, i don't want even more people after my back because of this, the police is more than enough.

I sighed, pushing my chair closer to the desk and cracking my fingers so i could write something in return that didn't sound suspicious at all. "Hi Genie," i started, already struggling a little,"I really appreciate asks like this and i'm also happy to know that at least one person likes the lame things i write! :) I get all my inspiration from.." No, stop, stop. I can just go all in like that, i have to be subtle. Normal writers usually get their inspirations in a lot of differents things and ideas, if i say something like that there is a chance that it would come out weird. I think. "I get most of my inspiration in, well, superheros, of course. I read a lot of comics, books and i really like watching movies and animations with any types of heros. :)" Sent. That actually went a little better than expected. "Genie" whoever it was, sent another ask only a seconds after, i clicked on it already starting to feel anxious again. "That's so cool! I suppose you are into superheros in real life too. If so, are you fan of any of them?" Why did they had to send questions that are so hard and complicated to answer like that? The only superhero i know well enough to pretend that i am a fan of is Jeongin, you probably know him by Spark. But he also reads my blog and wouldn't let me live if i ever said i'm his fan, another thing i'm not really found of. Another superhero i'm really close with would be, well me, of course.

"Actually, i do. I'm a big fan of Starlight for some time, what about you?" I answered, my choice of words trying to be as lowkey and casual as possible, putting the right amount of weight in them. This person, whoever they were, seemed to be nosy sometimes like a shy high-schooler wanting to keep the conversation going with someone with that they liked and in a way, that was most likely the situation. They’re the only person who follows my blog for some time that i remember constantly sending me messages and checking up on me but the one thing that was different this time was that the person, my fellow readers, forgot to put the ‘anon’ option on this time, their blog url shined brightly and effortlessly on my computer screen.

This time, Genie took a while to answer, so i took that as a chance to take a look at their blog. Clicking on their url, i started scrolling down their posts. I couldn't help but cringe really hard when i started noticing that most of their posts was reblogs from fyeahscarletdevil and others fansites with cheesy compliments in the tags, they seemed to be a really big fan of the supervillain, my supervillain. The one who puts kittens in really high places where they can't come down anymore, the one who sets fire in close neighbourhoods backyards and gardens to ruin their grass and flowers they worked so hard on, the one who sets dogs out of their leashes suddenly creating an army of dogs or anything that would cause disturbance in the peace of those around him in the world. I want to say i am starting to see red out of anger but in all honesty, that would make me even more pissed. Red is his color, just like white is mine. Unclenching and relaxing my jaw, - bad habit, i know - i hadn’t even noticed Genie had answered. “Oh really? I’m a major fan of Scarlet Devil!” No shit, Sherlock. Duh. “I think he’s a great dude who fits perfectly in the whole ‘model’ supervillain concept! Especially when it comes to Starlight too! They both are made for each other and have a perfect chemistry, they would be nothing without one another like soulmates. I probably sound like a total nerd now, but thats what i think lol wbu? - Genie” They signed in the end, even though it was obvious it was them. Not only did this person ship me with my arch enemy, they were also a big giant nerd and a huge fanboy of the red devil. Rubbing my forehead, i prepared myself to write back a long and sharp reply arguing against everything they said, ready to win and probably lose one of my readers in the process. Or more than one, you never know how many creeps who are his fans are lurking on this website.

Turns out Genie, was a very cute boy called Hwang Hyunjin who lived close by the neighbourhood i lived at, he was tall and acted very shy when he wasn’t talking about things that he liked very much, such as supervillains, dancing and comics. After our argument that day about which one was better - Starlight and the one who shall not be named, we got extremely close to the point i couldn’t go one day without texting him and in some nights we’re one of us couldn’t sleep, we would call the other and talk for hours. Since today, we both had the day free, he suggested that we met in person for the first time and the weather being intensely hot and stuffy right now, we settled in the shopping, going for a walk and eating ice scream while getting to know each other more and maybe even watching a movie together. But if that’s not obvious enough already, i have a major, gigantic, mega, blast, huge, enormous crush on him. From the way he softly laughed when he talked about this new move he learned with his group of friends who danced too, from the way he asked me how my day went and actually listened to me talking about it carefully showing he actually did care, the way he blushed at every compliment i gave him. I could feel my heart beat faster with the thought of seeing his cute moles in person and of even having an opportunity to hold his hands. But, was this a date? Does he even like me back? Would he stop talking to me if he found out i am Starlight? Would he start liking me only because he found out i am Starlight? No, i should worry about all of this later. I took a deep breath in hope to calm myself down, looking at my phone. I’m not going to bring it with me this time, what if Jeongin calls me for an emergency or him being a trickster and ruining the moment? I shook my head. Y/N, you can’t think like that. As much as Nini can be a little shit sometimes, he’s still your baby brother and you need to be there for him when he gets into trouble with your uniform, fists and powers ready to help him. Grabbing my phone, i ran by the door hoping i would be able to get there in time.

I checked my phone. And then, checked again. No calls or texts from spark boy and most importantly, Hyunjin. I sighed in frustration, am i about to be stood up by my crush in our first time meeting in person? Is it bad that i’m getting ice scream before he shows up? Too many questions, calm down, ok? You’re the city’s biggest hero, you got this. - Hyunjin, Jin, Jinn-i said out loud to myself to distract from my anxiousness as i paid the lady for the ice scream but my line of thoughts were interrupted by well, another voice. A soothing voice. - Genie. Did you call me? You have three wishes. - he replied jokingly with a sweet smile in his lips and holding three fingers up. I just stared at him, amazed, not sure of what to do. It was like an angel had just spoke to me. - W-What? - he asked softly, his cheeks getting red out of embarassment. - Nothing, i just...I can’t believe you’re really here... - I trailed off while hugging him tightly. The way he hunched a bit to put his chin on my shoulder making my heart beat faster inside my chest. Get it together, Y/N. - Wait, - he stood back a little, to look at my face properly - You didn’t think i would leave you hanging, did you? - Well, it wouldn’t be the first time that happened. Nothing personal. - i said, trying to laugh it off. - Then you’ve been going out to dates with the wrong guys. If i couldn’t come, i would’ve called you or still had came here to let you know we can’t spend the day togethe- - D-Date? - i gasped quietly but he was still able to hear, his face getting a tad more redder. - Ye-yeah, i mean, if yo-you want to, i’m okay with that with thi-this being a date. Yeah.- he shrugged, looking down while visibly embarassed. - Yeah, i want that. It’s a date then! - i added confidently after he nodded, acting like it was no big deal for me. - Is it okay that i got ice scream without you? Sorry, it’s just that it’s so hot today, i couldn’t help myself. We can go back to the line if you want to! - No, it’s okay. Shall we? - he offered his arm which i accepted, his boyish eye smile making it even harder for me to control the butterflies in my stomach. I was falling for his charms, indeed. After a few minutes walking side by side and commenting on the things we saw on the windows of the stores, i decided i should finally take initiative. - So, what did you do today? Besides coming here, of course. - i asked with an interested smile before turning to my ice scream, the cold on my tongue seeming to help me deal with the hot weather better. God, why is it so hot today? What’s going on with the weather? - I slept really late before waking up and coming here, i almost lost track of the time. - he laughed lightly. - Oh, same. - i replied in a flat tone. Right, cause i totally didn’t take two hours to get ready for Miss ‘I woke up like this’ right here. - Unless for the time part. Did you stay up praticing your moves? - Something physical like that, yeah. - he said, serious. - Did you stay up last night too? - Yeah, actually. - i agreed, regretting instantly. I stayed up all night because Jeongin had trouble sleeping, nightmares which made him cause a blackout in the whole neighbourhood by accident. Me, being the good older sibling, brought him to the energy station of the city and helped him bring all the power back before tucking him into bed and waiting for him to sleep again. If only had it been that easy., tsk tsk. On my way to dragging my sleepy little brother back home, i was met face to face with my arch-enemy straying through the city’s street during the night, his shameless bad-boy persona flirting with me while showing off his dark jacket and threatning to set my shoes on fire making my blood boil again. The reminder that i shot his hand for touching me, leaving a lightburn mark. My brand. - Are you okay? - My date’s voice cut me off. I shook my thoughts away, i already spend too much time thinking about that damned boy who liked setting my life on fire. Sometimes too literally. - Yeah, i just have too much on my mind, i guess. I stayed up most part of the night because my brother couldn’t sleep..I had to hold him until he fell back sleep so he wouldn’t have nightmares. - Oh, i didn’t knew you had a brother! - he looked surprised, rolling his sleeves up while guiding us to sit somewhere more reserved. - He’s not really my brother, he’s like a....consideration brother, if that makes sense. It’s complicated. - In fact, it really isn’t. I really do consider Jeongin my brother, i take care of him at any and all times especially at matters that his parents couldn’t understand, his powers. But i can’t just explain that to any normal person. - I see. I have a brother too, actually. Older. His name is Chan. - he replied brightly. Frostkiller. No. Not every Chan you know is the frosty meanie who happens to be partner with the Scarlet Devil, i’m sure there’s a lot of Chan’s all there, in the world. Far away from here. I smiled back, making him laugh lightly, his eye smile showing up again and making my heart skip beats. He had his chin propped on the palm of his hand, his eyes looking down shyly, his pink lips pressed together in a small smile. - Aren’t you hot? I mean, i feel like i’m melting here even though there’s AC here. I don’t know what’s going on today with the weather. - Oh really? I don’t feel anything, i even thought today was a bit chilly, actually. - What? - i gasped loudly, stretching to touch his forehead with the back of my hand - Are you okay? You aren’t sick, are you? - Don’t. - he stated coldly, closing his hands around my wrist to stop me, his warm fingers digging on my skin. But it was a bit too late, my fingertips touching his forehead already, i flinched taking my hand back, fearing it would burn my skin. - Hyunjin, oh my god! You’re on fire! Aren’t you with fever, shouldn’t we head to a hospita- - No. I’m okay, really. Don’t worry about me, okay? I guess i’m just that hot, pun intended. - he opened a sweet smile, winking - I’m going to buy us something to eat, sit still. - i stared at him, mouth open, still on shock. What does he even mean with ‘i’m okay’? I felt like i just had touched a heated oven or fire. Pure fire. I stared at his back, confused. I have enough experience to know something was definitely up, something not common. My area of expertise. I opened my lips, about to argue back but something caught my eye as i analised his back. Red. I got up from the table, charging at his direction with my fists closed and ready to feed him his own teeth. - What do you want- Oh! - he turned around, his face flushing and his eyes getting a bit bigger because of our proximity. - Give me your hand. - i demanded in a stern manner while stretching out my own hand. - W-What? - he gasped innocently, not affecting me now that i know he’s not so innocent anymore. I pulled on his wrist, turning and examining his forearm and instantly finding exactly what i was looking for. - What’s this? - i questioned, trying to hold back the poison on my tone. He looked down, biting his lips nervously. - Ok, you got me. I stayed up last night cause i was partying with my team colleagues and one of them was so drunk he started playing with fire and i tried helping him before things got worse but he ended setting my sleeve on fire and burning me. I didn’t tell you cause i was scared of what you would think about me, i don’t want you to have the wrong impression. - I bit the inside of cheek, thoughtful. - It doesn’t look like a fire burn though? - he gasped like a fish out of water, i didn’t care about our surroundings and if we looked like a couple arguing, i let his arm go ready to throw my second accusation at him. - What’s this the- Before i could finish and stick my hand behind his back snatch the evidence from his pocket, i was interrupted. Dance the night away, let’s dance the night away! Ooh! I sighed loudly, taking my phone out of my pocket. and turning my back to him. - This is not over yet. - Hey, Y/N. Could you- the voice in the other side of the line said quickly but i cut him off. - No. I’m in the middle of a date as we are speaking, ok? I told you that earlier! I really like this guy and something sketchy came up, i can’t do my light thing right now. - i whispered the last part. -Bu-But, Y/N! - Here we go, the whining - I’m about to have my ass frostbitten! You need to help me! I’m your brother! Are you really just gonna leave your little brother freezing here? - Jeongin whined loudly, hissing noises echoing in the background. I flinched, already picturing the mess on the street with tall buildings half-frozen and snow covering the sidewalks and cars. - Is the grumpy old dude there? - Yes! And very much gladly, Scarlet Devil isn’t here yet. Lucky you. - Can’t you just tell him to calm down? I’m sure he won’t hurt you if you do that, he loves you just as much as he loves his penguins on North Pole. - Very funny, ha. Just come here, you firefly. - Fine! Let me make up an excuse then. - Thank you, Y/N! - he replied in a singing voice. - You own me a pizza. - i said flatly before hanging up. Turning around, my date boy scratched his neck, his cheeks visibly red and hyperventilating. He looked like he would melt away at any moment out of embarassment. - I gotta go. - Yeah, me too. My room mate texted me and he needs help with the, hm, - he coughed before continuing - Caking a bake,i-i mea-an, Baking a cake, yeah.. - Sure. - i nodded at him briefly and in an awkward way before leaving. - Bye. - Wait! - He reached for my arm - I can still text you, right? - he questioned shyly. - Not if you’re gonna keep lying like this to me, Hyunjin. - i see. - he nodded back after giving me a hurt puppy look and letting of of my arm. I felt my heart clench at the sight, i just wanted to hug him and give him a chance to explain himself but i needed to talk with someone first. I gave him a weak smile before going my way, knowing i had broken his heart. Maybe Changbin was right, i had a bad taste on guys.

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