#'Dan Reynolds is my new best friend'

[nerdygaymormon]

LDS LGBTQ Anniversaries for 2023

For 8 years I’ve been in charge of creating my stake’s calendar. In addition to stake meetings & activities, I include holidays and significant LDS anniversaries like when it was the 175th anniversary of the founding of Sunday School or 40 years ago priesthood and temple blessings were restored to members of African descent. 

This year there's only 1 significant anniversary I put on the calendar: Sept 21st will be 200 years since the angel Moroni first appeared to Joseph Smith.

For readers of this blog, here’s a few anniversaries this year that may be of interest:

75 years ago

April 1948 - Gay BYU students Kent Goodridge and Richard Snow met with church president George Albert Smith. They were in love and wanted to get a clarification of their ‘status.’ President Smith treated them with great kindness and told them to "live their lives as best they could" in their companionship. They had gambled making this appointment and worried they could be excommunicated on the spot, instead they left feeling loved and valued. 

Unfortunately, this live-and-let-live attitude didn’t last long as President Smith's successor, David O. McKay, felt homosexuals "should be excommunicated without any doubt, that the homosexual has no right to membership in the Church."

30 years ago

May 18, 1993 - Apostle Boyd K. Packer gave an address to the First Presidency, the Quorum of the Twelve, and the Presiding Bishopric, in which he stated there are three great threats to the LDS Church: the gay/lesbian challenge, the feminist movement, and scholars 

September - The September Six are excommunicated for publishing scholarly work against or criticizing church doctrine or leadership. This was widely reported in national press and resulted in a chilling effect on academics challenging approved church narratives

25 years ago

October - Mormon-raised Russell Henderson and his friend Aaron McKinney tortured Matthew Shepard and left him for dead in Wyoming. The shocking crime made international news. The outrage over this crime eventually lead to the Matthew Shepard Act in 2009 which expanded the federal law’s definition of “hate crime” to include sexual orientation and gender identity. In 2018, Matthew's ashes were moved to the Washington National Cathedral

15 years ago

Chieko Okazaki, the first person of color to serve in an LDS Church general organization presidency, was first counselor in the General Relief Society President when she published a book in which she wrote “A family with a gay child is not a failed family. It's a family with a member who needs special love and understanding and who has love and understanding to give back.”

California’s Prop 8 - Church leadership heavily encouraged members donate time and money to pass Prop 8 which would ban same-sex marriage in California. About 1/2 of the money raised for its passage came from Mormons. The proposition passed and immediately there were protests at temples in Los Angeles and Salt Lake City, and the church received a lot of negative exposure. Since then the church has preferred behind-the-scenes roles in its efforts to combat queer rights

10 years ago

Dec 20, 2013 - Same-sex marriages became legally recognized in Utah. Seth Anderson & Michael Ferguson, both former Mormons, are the first gay couple to get married in Utah 

5 years ago 

January 2018 - The documentary "Believer" featuring Imagine Dragon's lead singer Dan Reynolds premiered at the Sundance Film Festival. Reynolds discussed the intersection of LGBTQ people in the Mormon community. Later in the year he appeared on The Ellen Degeneres Show and The Daily Show with Trevor Noah and spoke of LGBTQ Mormons and suicides

January 2018 - Josh Weed, the most famous LDS gay man in a mixed-orientation marriage, announces that he & his wife will get a divorce. They apologize to everyone who ever had their story held up as an example that gay people can get married and stay in the Church.

February 2018 - Church-run Family Services states it no longer provides reparative therapy or sexual orientation change efforts

February 2018 - Richard Ostler starts a podcast called “Listen, Learn, and Love,” which has LGBTQ members/former members share their stories

March 2018 -  BYU sponsors its first LGBT campus event, a panel of four students--Kaitlynn Wright, Ben Schilaty, Sarah Langford and Gabriel Cano–answer student-submitted questions

As president of the LGBTQAI+ and Allies Club, Jill Stevenson worked with administration at Southern Virginia University, a predominantly-LDS liberal arts college, to get the university to officially recognize the club, and to allow same-gender dancing on campus

June 2018 - The Church’s Family Search website starts allowing same-sex marriages to be recorded

July 2018 - The Provo Freedom Festival allows LGBTQ groups to participate in the parade due to a contract it had signed with the city of Provo which included a non-discrimination clause.

Dec 2018 - Stacey Harkey, a cast member on BYUTV’s popular show Studio C, comes out as gay

#queerstake

[divinelydivided]

🌟Nerdy Prudes Song Ranking🌟

Literal Monster

-Self Explanatory

-Literally Amazing

2.The Summoning

-Wiggly

-Jon Matteson... of course

-Also self explanatory

-Basically a tie with number one

3.Nerdy Prudes Must Die 

-You know why

- I'M NOT A LOSER

- I'm on a new crusade 💅

4.Hatchet Town

-Bryce Charles

-I am dan Reynolds

-Who doesn’t love a Dan and Donna cameo?!?!?

5.High School Is killing me

-Im deaddddddd

-Jon Matteson is my favorite (if you can't tell)

6.Cool as I think I am (Reprise)

-Makes me cry

-“Your as smart as I know you are”

-“Would you want to go to homecoming with me”---”Cool”

-Again, I am in tears

-I love Pete Spankofski

7. Bury the Bully

-I love Grace Chastity being insane, I love her

- I love foreshadowing

8.Cool As I think I am

-I love Peter

-“She is the brawn, i'm the brains” 

9.Dirty Dudes Must Die

-Grace chastity is a badass queen (who is a little insane, no biggy)

-”darkness will spare my soul” scratches an itch in my brian I didn’t even know I had

-HARMONIESSSS

10.Bully the Bully

-Petey gonna jump on out, jager gonna jagerout

-Whats our budget

-I am sad that this is not higher up

-We love a friend group

-Beans cool?! Excellent!!

11. If I Loved You

-I had a really hard time ranking this

-I love the chorus soooo much

-I Kinda hate the back and forth fighting thing going on in between

-Literally could not place this anywhere that made me happy but it had to go somewhere

12. Go Go Nighthawks

-Love Harmonies

-Fuck Clivesdale

13. Dirty Girl

-Don’t love the content of the song

-Love the vocals

-Sad I can’t put every song at number one

14. Just For Once

-I live for Ruth

-I love her sm

15.  Best of You

-A little cheesy for me

-But still deserves to be higher

#nerdy prudes must die #starkid #hatchetverse #hatchetfield #nerdy prudes songs #tgwdlm #black friday #paul matthews #jon matteson #joey richter #lauren lopez #mariah rose faith #bryce charles #npmd #curt mega #jamie lynn beatty #jeff blim #starkid npmd

[nabwastaken]

hatchetfield: the movie

so basically a while ago I saw a post on reddit with this cool little chain post format where they'd get the starkid reddit community to cast Hatchetfield: The Movie. Obviously, i did what any other sensible person would do and decides to transfer it over to the multiple starkid servers I was in on reddit (this was before I got tumblr) after multiple days of hard work and voting, here's what we ended up with!

pretty cool, right? And I decided to make the dumb mistake of coming up with a plot for this thing, so I've decided to share with you all what I've gotten so far! And by the way, shoutout to u/SuperKE1125 on reddit for giving me the idea in the first place!

Ted and Gary sue Pamela for being a terrible mother (Ted does it because Pete told him about how his new friend at High School, Hannah, seemed like she wasnt being taken care of well and underneath the tough exterior Ted actually cares) and Dan and Donna get an interview with him because all the Peanuts stories are getting stale. While setting up for the interview, A Man in a Hurry bumps into Gary. He apologises and the 2 soon hit it off. We then cut to Gary going over to the Monroe residence to discuss the will or smth. Linda tells Gary that suing Pamela is a terrible idea but Gerald is actually supportive of the idea. Ted and Gary then start gathering some evidence as to why she's a terrible mother and Dan, who's supportive, sends them over to his fellow reporter and best friend Boy Jerry. Boy Jerry tells them about how Pamela sent Hannah and Lex to Camp Idontwannabang and how he suspects that it was because Pamela didn't wanna have to take care of them over summer break, and she even suggested that Boy and Girl Jerry/i take care of them LONGER, which set off a red flag for Girl Jeri but Boy Jerry thought nothing of it. While visiting Jerry, Gary meets up Barry again and the two talk again for a while, with Barry saying that he thinks Gary is really cool for doing this and leaves after a suspiciously long time for a man in a hurry. Ted calls Gary out and says "With those heart eyes you were making around that guy I would've thought that you were dating" with Gary denying any feelings he had toward Barry. Boy Jerry says something about it being sinful and then we cut to the next scene. Pamela Fostor was watching the Hatchetfield News and swooning over Dan Reynolds, when she heard that Ted Spankoffski and Gary Goldstein were planning on suing her. Pamela would be very mad at this, and felt betrayed that Dan would support this case. A suspicious man then enters the van, and makes Pamela mcswoon. He introduces himself as Wilbur Cross and offers to help Pamela out with the case a little and take care of the kids very flirtaciously, disappointing John/Wilbur fans across the globe. Pamela agrees, saying "Well you kinda look like Dan Reynolds" and asks how he's gonna take care of the case. Wilbur replies, "oh.. I have my ways."It would then cut to Ted, entering his apartment on the phone with Pete. He tells his brother how they're gonna go forward with the case, saying "It's pretty open and shut". Then, he hears a sound. A frame falling. A picture of the CCRP gang. Ted thinks nothing of it until he hears more sounds, coming from his room. Music, beckoning him forward. Sounding awfully familiar to a commercial he saw.. he enters the bedroom, only to be met with 4 giant bird things.. Sniggles! They all maul him apart, bit by bit, as he screams.

And that's literally it so far lol. Yall have any other ideas on how to move forward with this???

#movies #hatchetverse #team starkid #nerdy prudes must die #the guy who didn't like musicals #film #gary goldstein #barry swift #homeless man #ted spankoffski #dan reynolds #donna daggit #mr davidson #melissa hatchetfield #boy jerry #Gerald Monroe #linda monroe #peanuts the hatchetfield pocket squirrel #pamela foster #wilbur cross #sniggles #There's so many damn tags #hatchetfield universe #Movie format #movie memes #Oh crap I forgot Ed #Ed the local woodworker also exists I guess

[ts1989fanatic]

Let’s call the abuse of Taylor Swift what it really is – a hate crime against women

It doesn’t matter what your thoughts are on the artist’s latest relationship, writes Olivia Petter – we should not be talking about women this way in 2023

Of all the women in the public eye, Taylor Swift is one that people love to hate. Maybe it’s because she’s inordinately successful – her Eras tour is likely to be the highest-grossing tour of all time with an estimated $1.4bn in revenue. It could be because she’s incredibly talented – have you listened to the lyrics on her Folklore album? Maybe it’s because she’s exceptionally beautiful – that hair! Those eyes! That smile!

Or... perhaps it’s just that she’s a woman.

As a long-term, die-hard Swifty (this is what us Swift fans call ourselves), I have often wondered what it is about my favourite golden girl with the voice of an angry angel and the brain of an Ivy League English professor that riles people up quite so much.

Anyone who has seen her Miss Americana documentary for Netflix from 2020 will know that the 33-year-old has long been the subject of internet bile, with critics attacking everything from her vocals and the way she dresses, to her weight and the men she’s dated.

In the latest spate of hatred against Swift, it seems to be the latter that is causing the issue. You see, following a breakup with her long-term boyfriend, Joe Alwyn, and a rather surprising (though short-lived) fling with 1975 frontman Matty Healy, Swift has a new man in her life: Travis Kelce. The American football player is considered one of the best athletes in the game, and Swift has already made a handful of notable appearances at some of his big games.

Most recently, Swift was seen attending the Kansas City Chiefs-New York Jets game to watch Kelce play, alongside a close friend, Blake Lively, and Lively’s husband, Ryan Reynolds. Following the game, though, Barstool Sports personalities Dan “Big Cat” Katz and Eric “PFT Commenter” Sollenberger – hosts of the popular Pardon My Take podcast – decided to weigh in on Swift’s presence with a series of sexist comments, calling her “bad for football” and making lewd jokes about “Taylor Swift’s vagina."

Elsewhere in the podcast, Katz admitted that he’d accept Swift’s presence at Chiefs games if she and Kelce were to “release a sex video”, as he described what crude details the video would need to include for him to accept the rumoured relationship.

It’s a hideous series of comments to read in full. Here is one of the most successful women in the world being reduced to nothing but a sex object by two male sports fans. It’s textbook misogyny: what better way to minimise a powerful woman than by talking about her sex life, or making references to her genitals? We’ve seen it before, and I’m sure we’ll see it again – but hasn’t Swift had to deal with enough of this already?

For years, critics fixated on her love life, often neglecting to mention her music at all in long reads about who she was rumoured to be dating at the time. She is a woman that has, for far too long, been defined by the men in her life. At least by those without the common sense to actually listen to her music and show her even a modicum of respect as an artist.

Enough is enough. As the actor Rachel Zegler put it in a tweet, “You will never see people speaking this way about a man. That goes for a lot of different scenarios. We do not pick apart men’s attitudes and relationships the way we do women’s and it’s not always just men who speak this way about us. Women can and do, too. It sucks.”

It’s 2023; this sort of language should not be tolerated, let alone broadcast on a popular podcast. However, when it is, we should recognise it for what it is: hate speech spouted by men who are threatened by successful women, and therefore feel compelled to sexualise them in order to preserve their flimsy, fragile egos. How sad for them.

ts1989fanatic

Nothing but the absolute TRUTH

[kieralopez]

𝙼𝚊𝚢𝚋𝚎 𝚒𝚏 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚛…

𝙊𝙧 𝙢𝙖𝙮𝙗𝙚 𝙞𝙛 𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙝𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙛𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙪𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮

the crunching of leaves under worn-in dr. martens. aimlessly walking around a seemingly empty art museum. thrifted clothing loitering every corner of your bedroom floor. chipped black nail polish. using your headphones as a way to avoid speaking to people. substituting honest with sarcastic and then hating how mean you were once you walk away. sorrow is like a black cat that purrs as it rubs up against your legs. to you, a friend is always with you; counting the books at the bottom of your tote and the ghosts that plague your head. you're looking for something, but you just can't reach it. i thought when tragedy struck, you weren't supposed to let it change you?

𝙉𝙤𝙩𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙏𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙠𝙨

Honey by Halsey || " She stings like she means it, she's mean / ... She's hell in a basket, just making a racket "

Final Girl by Chvrches || " Keeping secrets until everything became a bit too loud / I can wash it down / I could drown it out / ... By writing sentences I used to think were quite profound "

Panic Room by Au/Ra || " The lights spark and flicker / With monsters much bigger / Than what I can control now "

1980's Horror Film by Wallows || " She walked me back / Intro her room / But just to see / A 1980's Horror film / ... She said she's not really into guys "

Seashore by The Regrettes || " You're talking to me like a child / Hey, I've got news, I'm not a little girl / And no I won't give you a little twirl "

Nightmare by Halsey || " C'mon little lady, give us a smile / No, I ain't got nothing to smile about / I got no one to smile for, I waited a while for / A moment to say I don't owe you a goddamn thing "

Witches Burn by The Pretty Reckless || " Down on my knees when you call me a dog / 'I go cold like the change in seasons / 'Til I get close enough for a blade / To stick it in, then I'll spit on your grave "

𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝘽 𝙎𝙞𝙙𝙚 ( 𝘢 𝘷𝘶𝘭𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 )

original me by Yungblud feat. Dan Reynolds || " I'm self-critical, tryhard original / Oh, I pride myself on that, such a loser, I'll admit it / And I ask myself / When my time will come / Will I run away? "

Sincerity is Scary by The1975 || " You try and mask your pain in the most postmodern way / You lack substance when you say, something like, "Oh, what a shame" / It's just a self-referential way that stops you having to be human "

Baby, You're a Haunted House by Gerard Way || " And the nights, they last forever / And the days are always making you blue / In the dark we laugh together / Cause the misery's funny to you "

stfu by phem || " shut the fuck up with your self help shit / Roll me a blunt and let me handle it / Sittin' in the dark, in the silence / I cried all night and I feel sick "

madhouse by Nessa Barrett || " Go ahead, take a peek / Maybe let you under the hood / I'll scare the shit out of you more than anything else ever could / I scare myself sometimes "

Icarus by With Confidence || " And I heard / With every emphasis you put, on every word / With every lesson you taught but never learned / ... You think you really tried, did your best "

Numb by Linkin Park || " Can't you see that you're smothering me? / Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control / Cause everything that you thought I would be / Has fallen apart right in front of you "

#cape.task:001 #{ she's hell in a basket just causing a racket || musing. }

[aftgficlibrary]

Are there any AUs where renison or lailalverez is the main pairing?

there are quite a few but here you go -maz

renison:

Before All I Heard Was Silence by moonqueerdom (T | 7,430 | 1/1)

Allison's eyes widened and her face burned immediately, spreading to her neck and the tips of her ears. "Oh my gosh, Renee," she lowered her face and covered it with her hands.

Renee chuckled. "She is beautiful when she blushes, ok noted."

"Oh my gosh, Walker, stop that," Allison's voice was too wobbly and high-pitched even for her own ears, and there was a grin threatening to pop on her lips.

~

About to disappear in the afterlife, Allison Reynolds meets Renee Walker, who was ready to change her life even after death.

Last Café by uberimmortal (M | 4,802 | 1/1)

Like every weekend for the past year, Renee finds herself on a Saturday morning in front of the Last Cafe. She takes a deep breath, key still in her hand, shivering from the autumn breeze as she tries to muster up some energy to open the door. The sun is just beginning to poke over the horizon, lighting up the city in a blue haze, not close enough to this side of the earth to provide any real warmth. One by one street lamps flicker until they turn off completely.

The Gracekeepers by wishbonetea (M | 112,116 | 20/20)

The sea has flooded the earth. Allison lives on a circus boat, floating between the scattered islands that remain and trading dazzling and death-defying feats for food from the islanders. Renee lives alone in a lighthouse in the middle of the ocean, with only the birds and fish for company. As penance for her past, she works as a gracekeeper, tending the graves of those who die at sea. A storm brings them together, but under clear skies they must part. When one of the Foxes goes missing, Renee joins to help. It’s meant to be a temporary escape, but Allison might be a reason to stay.

⁂

An AU of Kirsty Logan's The Gracekeepers.

she's got lips like wine not sugar by IzzyAguecheek (Not Rated | 8,561 | 1/1)

The coffee shop was mostly empty the first time Allison came in. It was too early for most people, specially on a Sunday, when most people didn’t have work and therefore didn’t need to stop by to grab a coffee to wake up. Allison, however, didn’t strike Renee as the type of girl to drink coffee before a shift at some boring company. She looked more like someone who had stayed up all night and now was trying to fight off a hangover with caffeine.

Dan was late, per usual, so Renee and Andrew were the only employees working. Andrew took one look at the car parked outside, right in front of the window, and firmly turned his back on the girl sitting at the corner booth.

“You take that one”, he decided.

(or: Renee works at a coffee shop, and, when Allison becomes a regular there, she is absolutely in love. It's just a Renison Coffee Shop AU.)

counting my blessings by quensty (T | 10,354 | 1/1)

The last letter is from Wymack.

Allison, it says. Forest Falls, California, has been having problems with a robber. Dan and Matt are too far, and Neil and Andrew are already working a job in Nevada. Get on it. -DW

“Motherfucker,” Allison says.

Real Gravity by loose_canon (T | 1,723 | 1/1)

RECORDED 04:08, PILGRIMAGE YEAR 1584 DAY 29

[begin message]

Hey, Mom. You’re probably watching this and thinking about how much you want to kick my ass right now. Well, my butt, because you don’t say words like “ass,” much less think them. Anyway, I know you’re mad at me. I’m the ungrateful daughter who hijacked an emergency pod and zipped off into space in the middle of the eclipse service like a dumbass—sorry, dumbbutt—with another girl because I just had to go and open myself to the spirit of lesbianism. I’m not gonna lie, I’m mad just like you are. Part of me wants to just say that the spirit is a good fucking time and be on my way. But I need you need to know that I’m losing something, too.

A sci-fi one shot: Allison leaves a final message for her mother after she and Renee escape the generation ship they grew up on.

On Dragon's Wings (Under the Blue) by tinystreetlamp  (T | 8,417 | 3/3)

For hundreds of years the six kingdoms coexisted in peace due to a magical contract that prevents violence between them. Ever since Allison's brother Jean was kidnapped by Riko she has wanted to lead her armies to war against the Island of Night, but the contract prevents her from doing so. When crown prince Nathaniel arrives and asks for sanctuary, Allison sees her chance to unite four of the kingdoms against Riko and rain down her vengeance upon him.

(How to seduce a pirate: drag her underwater unexpectedly)

/Graphic Depictions of Violence

vengeance and death by cthulu_sun (M | 2,446 | 1/1)

legend says you have wax-dipped wings and golden fingernails and knives made of the blood you have spilled. legend says you are not merciful.

-

in which renee is a tired guardian angel, finds the foxes, and falls in love.

a hundred jewels on throats by ghvsts (T | 3,226 | 1/1)

"have you seen the goddess from the seafoam," they whisper, "she is more beautiful than anything."

(in which seth is ares, renee is persephone, and allison has had enough)

fabrication of a grand scheme by cloudghost (T | 13,787 | 1/1)

Renee was silent for a while. Then, finally, she said, “I want to try going outside.”

“I thought you were scared.”

She hummed her assent. “That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do it.”

Since that was basically the philosophy Allison lived by, she nodded. Renee turned back around and met Allison’s gaze. In that moment, Renee looked unbreakable and unshakeable, like nothing that ended up in her way could ever stop her for long. Allison shivered.

Love You a Latte by ceilingfan5 (G | 8,465 | 1/1)

Allison's favorite barista is adorable Renee, so when she gets the news that she has to go on a terrible family vacation and bring an "appropriate plus-one", she decides to finally get herself uninvited from the rest of those events for all eternity. She and Renee go together, pretending to be a very much in love couple, stir shit up, and leave a lot closer than they ever expected. (Obviously they fall in love.) Allison may say "I decided love was fake a long time ago and it’d take a miracle to change my mind now,” but if anyone can be a miracle worker, it's Renee.

say you'll never harden to the world by orphan_account (T | 10,300 | 1/1)

Of course it’s when the knife finally doesn’t feel awkward in her hand anymore that Allison shows up.

Instead of the relaxed way she usually holds her wings, they’re pulled taut behind her back. Her arms are crossed in front of her chest and there’s a decidedly not pleased look on her face.

“Hey,” Natalie says, not interrupting the sequence of stabbing moves she’s been practicing. She has no time for the way seeing Allison makes her feel.

Safe – a joke. Not alone – Allison might not even be real. Cared about – impossible.

Those kinds of emotions aren’t meant for someone like her in the first place, and she’s not going to indulge them.

give me shelter or show me heart by hondayota (Not Rated | 4,720 | 3/3)

Renee had always thought of hope as a feeling, something she scraped out of her insides when she had nothing else to hold onto, but over the past months, hope had ceased to be a feeling and had become synonymous with Allison Reynolds.

or

the renison zombie au no one asked for

or

renee and allison are hella gay even when there's zombies

laila/alvarez:

It's Called Fashion Hunty. Look it up. by theKristastrophe (T | 15,440 | 8/8)

Sara works for a company that she doesn't hate but doesn't love either. So she sits at the bar with her two other best friends and tries to get through the work week.

When a fresh lawyer stumbles into thier weekly Rant Club, Sara knows she's in for a wild ride.

Featuring gratious eyerolling, snark, and everyone's favorite Foxes.

Buckle up kiddies. It's time to Sashay, Sashay, Sashay...

Come Close by tinystreetlamp (T | 10,932 | 1/1)

Sometime around 200 BC in Ancient Greece, in a world where the greek gods are real, Laila is a warrior from Sparta. During her first visit to Athens she meets not only Jeremy of Troy but also falls head over heels in love with Sara, a daughter of Apollo and local poet. But Sara is cursed, and soon the three cross the Mediterranean on a quest to break the curse and save Sara.

Sara means Sun by tinystreetlamp (M | 27,739 | 8/8)

Five years ago, ships with black and red sails appeared on the horizon and wiped out all of the royal family - except one. The Raven King conquered Coralia and is doing everything he can to stay in power. Jeremy of Troia, the rightful heir to his kingdom, has been in hiding for the past five years, but he found something worth fighting for.

Laila, an Elven Warrior and Jeremy's best friend, will do anything to protect him. Meeting a cute stranger isn't going to change that.

/Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death

#aftgfl ask #mrating #teen #notrated #general #oneshot #complete #theme:complete #under10k #10to20k #20to30k #100k+ #renison #laila/alvarez #theme:au #au #coffeeshop #fluff #noexy #pining #selfharm #torture #drinking #apocalypse #slowburn #friends2lovers #homophobia #fantasy #fakedating #fallinginlove

[drvcifers]

CURRENTLY // SEMI-ACCEPTING NEW WRITING PARTNERS

i am back again to cause a ruckus. since i have a little bit more free time coming up, i am going to try to pick up a couple more plots. i have listed below some really basic plots i’m looking for, faceclaims i’m wanting to use and some i’m wanting to play against. here is also a link to my current muses, and i am happy to plot with anyone listed as available.

**if we had plotted before, please feel free to message me if you would like to pick our plot back up!!

if you are interested in any of these (plots or fcs - i am always up for plotting something not on this list) you can message me (here or discord - thedrewdawg#1337). i will typically play a male or nonbinary, though i do have a few female muses i’d be interested in plotting with. i rp on both tumblr (via my mumu writing blog) or on discord.

i am also up for platonic/family relationships too! also very interested in 2x2 or 3x3 plots to allow for relationship development outside of just ships.

putting this under the cut because it got way too long :)

classic hateship. we hate each other for some reason or another but oops there’s also MASSIVE sexual tension and we can’t keep our hands off of each other. bonus points if they are both 'heartless’ but they are learning to trust each other with their hearts.

workplace angst. i have been watching too much greys tbh, but i love the dynamics of people who have demanding jobs and work a lot and the job and their coworkers are basically like all they really have going on. would be cool as a mumu, but fine as a solo plot too

angst avenue. something super angsty like this because i am a masochist. honestly anything super heartwrenching i’m probably all about.

ghosts. idk just haunting, maybe someone falls in love with a ghost. love a spooky romance. or like ghost hunters? i’ve been wanting to try out some more horror-esque stuff.

secret relationships. who doesn’t love a secret relationship? maybe you are my best friend’s ex that he’s still hung up on but we are really good together.

ASSASSINS. we love a good assassins plot. and they don’t kill each other because, well, they are in love. maybe they used to work on the same side and one of them defected?? ugh idk just give me some badasses with drama and lots of love.

post-apocalyptic. this has been on my wanted list for a while but ya know the basic there are zombies taking over the world stuff.

slice of life anything really. something that just explores dynamic relationships ya know.

FACES I WANT TO USE: winston duke, oscar isaac, alfonso herrera, elliot knight, michael evans behling. rahul kohli, aaron tveit, lakeith stanfield, ross butler, ryan reynolds, chris wood, avan jogia, charles melton, tom hardy, daniel kaluuya, robert pattinson, nick sagar, michael ealy, chris hemsworth, danny pino, theo james, rege jean page, henry cavill, sebastian stan, trevante rhodes, jack falahee, jordan calloway, leo dicaprio, matt czuchry, noah centineo, chris pine, manish dayal, and ALWAYS zac efron or dan stevens

FACES I WOULD LIKE AS OPPS: FLORENCE PUGH ALWAYS, samantha logan, gemma chan, candice patton, sarah michelle gellar, rachel weisz, aja naomi king, alexandra breckinridge, constance wu, dove cameron, kerry washington, aj cook, adelaide kane, aisha dee, odette annable, inbar lavi, lily james, camila mendes, issa rae, dakota johnson, phoebe tonkin, natasha liu bordizzo, lucy hale, nathalie kelley, laura harrier, halston sage, nina dobrev, tessa thompson, virginia gardner, shelley hennig, freema agyeman, hilary duff, jamie chung, meghan markle, madelaine petsch, lana condor, naomi scott, alicia vikander, shay mitchell, sydney park, maia mitchell, vanessa morgan, elizabeth lail, nicole beharie, becky g, chloe bennet, blake lively, sophia bush

OKAY THOSE ARE LOTS OF OPTIONS and tbh i’m not that picky, these are just the faces i’ve been wanting to use/have as opps for a long time.

#1x1 #1x1 rp #rp #rpg #roleplay

[redrabbitspod]

READ OUR INTERVIEW WITH ROLLING STONE HERE:

(full, designed article. But if you don’t want to follow a magazine layout, read the transcript. Art by @bloodydamnit)

TRANSCRIPT BELOW THE CUT

Red Rabbits: The Rolling Stone Interview

Featuring Andrew Minyard, Neil Josten, and the Red Rabbits Team

By Angie Rodner

On a chilly Monday, Neil Josten and Andrew Minyard are standing side by side, looking at something on Andrew’s phone in our New York, Rolling Stone headquarters. The rest of the Red Rabbits team, consisting of Dan Wilds, Seth Gordon, Renee Walker, Robin Cross, Allison Reynolds, and pro Exy legend/honorable mention Matt Boyd, orbit around them. It's an interesting scene to take in, to say the least. No matter what they seem to be talking about, they all defer to the two hosts without any of them seeming to acknowledge it. 

I was lucky enough to sit down with all eight of them, and I’m not ashamed to say I’m a fan of the podcast and I’ve followed since Season 1. The story of Andrew and Neil (formerly known as Nathaniel Wesnisnki, the son of the Nathan Wesninski or the Butcher of Baltimore), and the revelation of their connection they’d shared as kids, was better than any true crime podcast I’d ever listened to. 

Now, the team takes on what they’ve dubbed ‘The Case of the Newark 9’ for their second season. It’s a case based around the hunt for a man known only as ‘Steven’, who they believe is responsible for a series of kidnappings and murders of young girls in and around the Newark area. They’re joined by Robin Cross, a victim and survivor of Steven’s, who is helping them investigate the case. 

I sat down with Robin and the other women of Red Rabbits first. 

What’s it been like to work on this podcast together? Was it strange to go from looking for Neil, to having him in the studio, to watching him and Andrew form the relationship they have?

Dan: It was strange, because in all honesty, it wasn’t strange. Does that make sense? None of us knew about the meeting they had as kids, but when Andrew finally told us, everything made a lot more sense. Really, they belong together. It was much weirder when they first got back and hadn’t acknowledged what was between them yet. We were all just kinda like... are y’all not seeing what we’re seeing?

Renee: They got there eventually.

How have things changed from Season 1 to Season 2? The cases are obviously different, but they still involve missing children. What’s the atmosphere like around the studio?

Dan: Tense.

Allison: I’m not even there that often and I can still feel it.

Robin: It is tense, but there’s also a sense of urgency. We know ‘Steven’ has another girl now, so it’s like every day that goes by is another day he has her... Another day we either find him, or we don’t.  

Mm... I can’t imagine how difficult that is. However, with that being said, the NYPD have made it pretty clear that they aren’t buying what you guys are selling. How does that make you feel?

Robin: I don’t feel anything about the NYPD. My anger is better placed elsewhere. I am angry. But the police didn’t listen to me when I was a kid and trying to tell them important information. Why would they listen to me now?

Renee: I think we all try and take our cues from Robin. Andrew and Neil are very careful to include her and get her opinion on certain things before moving forward. We’re not letting this thing with the NYPD deter us. 

Speaking of Robin then, what’s it like for you to have her on the team? As one of Steven’s victims that is, there with you in the studio?

Robin: Oh no. Say nice things about me.

Dan: Girl. [ laughs ] Honestly, she’s amazing. She’s my little sister and I’m not just saying that. I think we all kind of feel that way. I’ve never known a person as strong and determined as she is and I know - see she’s blushing! [ laughs again ]- I know she hates it when we talk about her like this, but it’s so true. She’s family now.

Renee: She is, and I think she brings a really unique perspective to the case. We have someone here who’s directly involved, who lived through it and can give us some idea of what the other girls went through. I think most people would really love to have that kind of resource during an investigation.

Allison: For sure. She’s even my muse for my fall line. Everything is going to be deep colors and fun modesty.

Seems like you’ve been properly inducted into the team, Robin.

Robin: [ smiling ] It feels amazing...

Now, last question. Are you confident you’ll find what you’re looking for?

All as one: Yes.

Speaking with the ladies was fun. They were easy and connected and you can tell that there was a real sisterhood in the studio that day. It was refreshing to see women supporting and helping each other thrive in such a competitive industry. There was a lot of laughter between them, and it was such a joy to be able to share it with them. 

-

My next interviewees were Seth Gordon, ‘resident TFN sound engineer/IT guy/anything to do with technology’, as he tells it, and New York Lynxes starting backliner, Matt Boyd. When I tell you I laughed throughout this entire interview, I’m being completely sincere. There was something about the way the two bounced off each other that had me smiling and understanding why they are both so well-liked. 

You guys are best friends aren’t you? I feel a bromance in this Chilli’s tonight.

Seth: Bet. Matt Boyd is my homie and BFFL. Do people still say that? Anyway, we have matching necklaces and everything.

Do you really?

Matt: No, not really, but I’d totally wear one if he gave it to me.

[ laughing ] Matt, how did you even end up here? I know you were friends with Neil, but I feel like the details on that are kind of murky.

Matt: I hit him with my truck. [ My jaw dropped ] No, really! I hit him with my truck in Midtown Manhattan when I was driving home. He refused to go to the hospital so I brought him back to my place to make sure he was okay. He didn’t leave after that.

Seth: Because you held him hostage? That’s the way I hear it.

Matt: Oh yeah, for sure. He takes up so little space, why not? [ laughs again ] No really, I did convince him to stay, but I just felt like he needed a friend. He was obviously running from something and he was scared. I just didn’t know from what or why at the time.

And when you found out?

Matt: Honestly? I just about shit myself, but it made so much sense. All the little questions I asked myself early on, finally had answers. 

I saw the interview you and Dan did with Essence. You guys look amazing together.

Seth: They are amazing together. It’s gross. 

Matt: Yeah, and you and Dion aren’t constantly fawning all over each other.

Is that Dion hovering nearby?

Seth: Yep, that’s my man. He’s amazing and fuckin’ fine as hell. Can I say fuck in this interview?

Sure.

Seth: He’s fuckin’ fine.

Seth, what’s it been like for you, putting together the shows? There’s been a lot of audio that’s hard for us as listeners to hear, and I’m sure there’s more we haven’t even heard. 

Seth: There is.

What’s that like for you to have to go through it all?

Seth: Really hard sometimes. There was some stuff in Season 1 we didn’t air that seriously gave me nightmares. It’s worth it, though. We found Neil and I think we’ll find Steven.

Are both of you confident in that fact?

Seth: Positive.

Matt: I think if anyone can find him, it’s Andrew and Neil. They’re determined and they’ll keep looking no matter what.

I believe them. 

Andrew and Neil were my last interview of the day, and a more determined pair I think I’ve ever met. 

Here’s the thing readers: They’re connected. It might make me a poor journalist, but I don’t know how else to explain it. At one point during the interview, Neil reached over to squeeze Andrew’s arm. At another point, Andrew reached over to squeeze the back of Neil’s neck. They were obviously a comfort to and for each other, and it almost seemed like they borrowed strength. It was intense and being able to witness it has been one of my favorite moments in my career.

So, let’s talk about this season before we get into everything else. You’re looking for a man you believe to be responsible for the disappearances of multiple girls in the Newark area. Do you feel like you’re any closer to solving the mystery than you were at the beginning?

Neil: Absolutely. We’ve gotten some really great tips and we think we’ve narrowed some things down. We don’t want to get too deep into what we’ve got at the moment, because we’re still investigating. But we’re confident in what we have.

What’s it been like working with Robin? I was able to interview her earlier, and she’s really something.

Andrew: She’s been the best resource we have. She’s incredibly strong and unbelievably quick. She’s taken this terrible thing that happened to her and turned it into fire, and it’s been amazing to watch. Most of the information we have comes from her.

The interview you guys did with her was absolutely chilling. I cried three times listening to it. How do you handle hearing these things? I feel like it’d be really hard not to take it home with you.

Neil: Yeah. It’s hard sometimes.

Andrew, I want to touch on the interview Riko Moriyama just did with Kathy Ferdinand and your response. What was that like for you, hearing Riko wrongfully expose something like that on live television?

Andrew: It was… I was stunned, I guess. That information was supposed to be sealed. My name was redacted. So I have no idea how he even got details of the case.

You’ve talked before about being in the foster care system. It sounds like you had a pretty rocky childhood.

Andrew: Yes.

Neil, I know yours was no picnic either. Do you think that this kind of... shared trauma, I guess, is part of why you two work so well together?

Neil: Yeah, partly. When we met as kids, I think a bond was cemented. We both knew how horrible adults could be to children. But now that we’re older, I think more than a shared trauma, it’s a mutual respect for that trauma. We both have shit, you know? I told Matt this one time and I didn’t really understand how true it was until recently, but we both have baggage that we share. We take each other’s on to lighten the load for the other. But, there are times when it gets really fucking heavy, and I think recently we’ve figured out that it’s better to lean on each other when that happens, instead of trying to carry it all ourselves.

Why do you think Riko felt the need to call you two out like he did? I know he mentioned Neil possibly being manipulated into the relationship.

Neil: [laughs]

Andrew: I wish I could manipulate him into having better taste in music.

Neil: My taste in music is fine. 

Andrew: It is absolutely not. And I don’t know why Riko feels the need to comment. I’d be interested to hear the reason. The things he said regarding Neil were ridiculous, and in his response, Neil has made sure to make that known. But the thing that really bothered me was his comments on mental health. He tried to basically call me unstable for seeking therapy and admitting that there came a point when I needed outside help. There are literally hundreds of thousands of people in this country who seek out therapy every year. There’s no shame in it and I’m unsure as to why Riko believes there is. Honestly, I’m shocked the Moriyamas haven’t released a statement. He’s their mouthpiece, after all.

Do you think they should apologize?

Neil: Yes.

Andrew: I think they should at least clarify. I’ve already heard people are planning to protest their new documentary and I don’t blame them. I wouldn’t want to give my money to people who think I’m less of a person because I struggle sometimes.

Speaking of struggle, let’s move back to the case. I know the NYPD has been giving you grief over your claims that the person you’re looking for is the same person that’s taken Haylie Clark. Robin, especially, seems completely certain. How does it feel to know law enforcement doesn’t have your back on this?

Andrew: Familiar. They’ve never had my back before, so why would they start now?

Neil: I’ve dealt with too many crooked cops to really take it seriously. I have no idea what their motivations are and to be clear, I’m not saying I think they’re crooked - I’m just saying that in my experience, the help doesn’t always come like it’s supposed to.

The rest of the team seems pretty confident in you two. They all said they absolutely believe you’ll be able to find him. Is it hard sometimes, not to lose faith?

Andrew: It’s hard all the time. But it doesn’t matter. We have to keep moving forward. We aren’t going to stop until he and Haylie are found. 

I think that’s really commendable and I look forward to seeing that happen. Now, tell me a bit about the team. Neil, since you came in at the end of Season 1, how did you find the dynamic as an outsider?

Neil: I didn’t really understand it in the beginning. Not really. It helped having Matt at my back for months prior, but I’ve never had the opportunity to make solid connections with people. So when I came into the studio, to this group of people who had known each other since college, it was overwhelming. 

Andrew: That’s funny, seeing as how they like you better than me.

Neil: It’s all the charm and charisma. 

[ laughing ] And now? You all seem really tight knit.

Neil: Now, yeah. We are. These people are my family.

Andrew?

Andrew: Yes?

Neil: She wants you to say something nice about the team.

Andrew: Every single one of them knows my coffee order, and it’s truly amazing that they can do what the interns cannot. [ he looks over at Neil, who’s tilting his head and raising his brows ] Oh, don’t look at me like that. Fine. We have a really strong team. I wouldn’t be able to do what I’m doing without them. Seth works harder than anyone I know, Dan keeps us all in line with just a look, Renee is the only reason I agreed to do this in the first place, Reynolds has a lot of money and she’s not afraid to use it for a cause she believes in, and Robin is the most inspiring person I’ve ever met.

And Matt?

Andrew: Who?

Neil: The guy that kept me alive for months while you were hunting me.

Andrew: [ rolls his eyes and shrugs ] He’s fine.

-

My take away from the interviews was this: these people will do whatever they need, in order to find their perpetrator. They believe in their cause, they hurt for these girls, and they’ll find justice for them in the end. They’re family, that much is clear, and I can’t wait to see how this ends. I can’t wait to say that I was there when it’s over.

Red Rabbits can be heard on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, and GooglePlay. You can follow the website at redrabbitspod.tumblr.com and twitter @redrabbitspod.

And as the Red Rabbits team always says, “Keep Searching”. I know I will.

#red rabbits pod #aftg #andreil #andrew minyard #neil josten #seth gordon #dan wilds #matt boyd #renee walker #allison reynolds #robin cross #article #media #rolling stone #interview

[pinkysfaultorbrainsfault]

pinky and the brain: s1e7 - tv or not tv

y’all do NOT understand how many times i have tried to post this. tumblr just will not stop eating it. this was supposed to be out last wednesday LMAO i am doing my best.

episode summary: brain engineers a pair of Mouse Dentures that give him a charming smile. anyone hypnotised by these dentures Suddenly Adores Him For No Good Reason. unfortunately, he’s also a bit of a shut in, so nobody is actually going to see his charming smile-- unless he gets himself a sitcom.

....or something.

the rundown:

we open on brain talking about the “weird and magical power” of celebrity. he has defaced several women, and is sticking his ass out. as you do. what is he doing to CINDY! and her ilk?? he must be stopped.

“those who have it weild tremendous influence. few can avoid the enchantment of its’ spell.”

“do you know what gives them this power?”

holy shit. he just stabbed CINDY!.

pinky absolutely does not care for CINDY!’s fate. “haha. narf. hey, paddlefoot, do you know what they call a quarter pounder in france?”

of course, sirius black was not in pulp fiction, and neither, as far as i can tell, was he in france. brain silences him with “enough gay banter”, like he wasn’t just sticking his ass out in his general direction, like, two minutes ago.

(this was the 90s, y’all. gay definitely meant gay back then. this is not the faraway tree.)

“pinky! behold the key to the power of attraction!”

“pushpins!”

“hurraaaaaaaaaaaah!”

“no, pinky.”

apparently the key to attraction is a

“winning smile”, as brain points out, tapping on CINDY!’s poor mutilated face for emphasis.

“and a nice healthy gum!”

“and... a nice healthy gum.”

it turns out that brain has “taken this idea of the influential smile to a new level - a level no less than world domination“, which is bold words for Mr Tumble Dryer. to achieve this, he has invented

teeth.

(okay. so it’s a bit bigger than that. he shows pinky the plans for,

and then a prototype of, a whole machine built specifically to engineer him little mousie dentures. a lot of work went into this one. shame, really.

“when did you have time to build that?”

“while you were engrossed in your mr belvedere reruns.”

“oh, i miss him. ):” )

anyway so. brain puts his teeth in.

there he is.

pinky describes this as

“enchanting (’:”

and brain affirms that it’s supposed to be. apparently the “reflective vibrations” (okay) of his smile stimulates the medula oblongata,

“causing the viewer to adore me for no good reason!”

“zort! i’m adoring you for no good reason!”

(he does point out, while brain is admiring his reflection in a nearby bunsen burner, “what if they’re wearing sunglasses?”

brain’s response is “we’ll work nights.”)

still, brain can’t just sit around in the lab twiddling his thumbs and expect the general public to Adore Him For No Reason. he needs exposure! and as pinky ponders “what would mr belvedere do,” brain asserts that he would “eat some butter”.

“i’m afraid, my friend, that you’ve seen far too much of mr belvede--”

more like mr belvIDEA lol. sorry i’ll see myself out.

“pinky, are you pondering what i’m pondering?”

“i think so, brain, bur it’s a miracle that this one grew back. ):”

.....okay.

thankfully, the plan is not, in fact, to amputate pinky’s leg. again???? instead, brain intends to use a weapon of “great stealth, power, and corruption.”

OUR OWN SITCOM.

✨

meanwhile, at the wb studio, we meet jerry kilmer. mr kilmer is currently being harassed by some dudes who also really, really want their own sitcom. for far less nefarious purposes, presumably.

“so there’s this guy, right?”

“and get this! he designs--”

“BIKINIS.”

“TINY LITTLE BIKINIS. OKAY okay okay okay so here’s the hook.”

“HE’S PRETENDING--”

“TO BE BLIND.”

it does not appear to be what mr kilmer is looking for.

(meanwhile, the mice are spying on the acme labs janitor. he seems like a cool dude! but the mice are not here for friendship.

they sneak into his jacket pocket!

and...... steal his.... car keys? “YES. to the television station!”

✨

this isn’t even the first vehicle he’s stolen. hopefully he’ll have this one back by curfew as well.)

they do get pulled over by the police, but i don’t want to go into that. unless you guys reaaaallly want me to. instead, they park outside the studio and harass some poor receptionist.

“excuse me. we’re here to-- pitch. as they say. a sitcóm. my dear.”

i don’t know why brain says words like that.

“appointment?”

“oh, i’m sure you can--”

“work us in.” says brain. he is sticking his ass out for no reason. all the appeal is in his sparkly dentures, so.... there’s really no need for that, my dude.

✨

“you’re next! for no good reason!”

these dudes are still here. “wait!” yells our budding comedian, “wait! check out this idea. it’s about a guy!”

original.

“who always sticks his foot in his mouth!!”

clever. unfortunately, his demonstration goes wrong, and he ends up kicking mr kilmer in the face.

bonk.

gives him a nasty black eye to boot. ouch.

“ugh. can’t i ever just see someone normal?”

good thing these very normal individuals have just shown up, huh? nothing shady about these guys. “ugh, thank goodness,” says mr kilmer. they introduce themselves politely as jonathan michael charles (left) and jamal spelling (right).

“you guys have quite a look.”

“thank you.”

✨

“alright then. what do you got for me?”

“egad, brain.”

“he’s not adoring you for no good reason!!”

“drat.”

“well. we’re young hip adults--”

“and hijinks ensue!”

“who sit on a big fat couch and whine--”

“with disaaaasterous results!!”

“and have lots of generation x friends who trade zippy, sarcastic banter.”

“and i have a monkey.”

a very original concept.

at least, mr kilmer sems to think so. “hmmm. fresh. but tell me! what really brings you here. what are jamal and jonathan all about.”

“actually,  we are two lab mice involved in a broad and sweeping plan to take over the world.”

mr kilmer thinks this is hilarious, apparently.

these guys do not. but they’re not important, for the moment.

the long and short of it, anyway, is that kilmer can’t give them a sitcom because nobody knows who they are, quote unquote. “the day i see your face on the cover of peeple magazine is the day you get a sitcom.”

irritated, jamal and jonathan make their exit.

and mr kilmer laughs so hard at the idea of lab mice trying to take over the world, that he falls out of his chair.

this will become relevant later.

meanwhile -- i just had to screencap this, okay, because of brain’s face. pinky suggests that he get on the cover of peeple by marrying prince charles. and brain thinks this is a horrible idea.

he’s much more interested in princess diana. but no, pinky, the path he must follow is “the same one followed by the leading sitcom stars of the day.”

“i must become a SUCCESSFUL STANDUP COMEDIAN.”

“so hey, how about those mitochondria? do they have enough cilia or what?”

“hey, why don’t you tell a joke you know!”

this may be harder than brain thought. undeterred, though, he presses on.

“do you ever notice how when you’re looking in the mirror of a quadrant electrometre, your forehead seems large?? why is that??”

“i just flew in from cleveland! and boy are my upper extremeties fatigued by a buildup of lactic acid!”

“booooooooooooooo!” says our guy on the left.

“go back to your troll village, squirt!” says his friend on the right. “what do you say to that?”

“i find you repugnant.”

(well. that made them laugh, at least.)

“your stupidity is matched only by the ill-slipped caterpillar, that chews off its’ own wings after emerging from its’ cucoon!!!”

“in fact! all of you! are just a gaggle of pathetically misguided root diggers!!”

“why don’t you all stand under a stalactite and bellow the resonate frequency, causing it to plummet onto your cranium!!”

“you’re all repugnant i say!!! repugnant!!!”

and with that little mousie tantrum out of his system, brain trundles off to sulk.

pinky claps him on the way out.

“egad brain! narf! they love you!”

“yes.”

so then he goes on tv, i guess.

“our comedy challenger is the master of insults! the prince of putdowns! jamal spelling!”

“you’re all a bunch of crevulating nitwits with peat moss for a cortex. repugnant!”

i don’t envy that guy third from the right. he doesn’t look like he’s having a very good time. he’s sensitive about his peat moss cranium, okay? don’t make fun of him.

NEXT ON G, HOWIE TURN HOSTS COMEDIAN JAMAL SPELLING.

“so, uh, jamal spelling. what kind of stupid name is that? cmon? what’s your real name?”

this would be racist if jamal spelling was a human man comedian and not like, a lab mouse. thankfully, this is not the case.

“my real name is the brain.” says brain, helpfully enunciating the “the”. “and you, my unwashed friend, are repugnant.”

HA HA. HA HA HA HA HA.

“oh, you’re hot, baby.”

okay.

but we’re, uh. we’re not going to think about that, and we’re going to go look at the david letterman show instead.

“uh, my next guest-- paul, do you know who our next guest is?”

“daaaaave, i know he’s a beautiful kind of-- nutty cat who just got us all a-wow.”

“here he is, ladies and gentlemen! for your comedy dollar, jamal spelling!!”

jamal spelling appears to be naked.

but he’s funny, so nobody minds.

“somebody here smells like a coagulated agar slant growing in a petri dish. repugnant!”

see! he’s just too comedy for clothes.

(meanwhile, we take a short trip to the office of janet mekko. “welcome, mr kilmer,” she says.

“my... secretary sent me here-- actually, i feel kind of stupid.”

“oh, honey. that’s a good thing! if there weren’t any stupid people, i wouldn’t have any business.”

“now. ya got some paaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiin.”

(in the distance, dan reynolds - at the tender age of eight - mumbles “you made me a, you made me a believer” in his sleep.)

“yeah.” says mr kilmer, completely unaware of this. “i fell out of my chair.”

“i’m gonna hypnotise you, so relax.”

okay.

“this’ll make you sleepy.”

“what is it?”

“a kenny g album.”

“okay. you’re in a trance. i’m gonna give you a random word. if you feel pain, say that word, you’ll feel good.”

“but careful! cause if you say it when you’re feeling good, the pain will come back! bad.”

spooky.

“and your random word is--”

“repugnant.”

there is, of course, absolutely no way this can go wrong.)

let us turn our view to happier pastures. namely, the mice are watching tv.

TONIGHT ON CIRCUS OF THE STARS

HARRY DEAN ANDERSON GETS SHOT OUT OF A GIANT PASTA MAKER

COMEDIAN JAMAL SPELLING FLIES THE TRAPEZE

AND BOB SAGET GETS TRAMPLED BY A BEAR. we hope.

pinky is elated! “egad, brain! circus of the stars! narf! you’ve really made it!”

pinky wants to be on circus of the stars, don’t you know. unfortunately, as he dutifully informs brain in pretty much the same breath, he hasn’t quite made it into peeple magazine yet.

“hm. it’s time to use plan b, pinky.”

“there was an a?? poit.”

ouch. jesus, pinky.

undeterred, brain marches his merry little ass over to the old timey corded phone.

beep.

“yes, connect me with buckinham palace, please.”

“egad! you did it brain! the cover of peeple!”

rule britannia is playing in the background of this scene. let’s... not think too hard about how this works, and agree that, yes, pauly shore, enough.

no more pauly shore, please.

conclusion:

jerry keeps his word, and, upon learning that jamal spelling is now legally married to princess diana (a fact which would certainly not lead to a warrant for his arrest in a couple of years) he asks him for a demo tape.

for such small hands, jamal sure does have very neat handwriting.

“make me laugh, jamal, and you got yourself a sitcom.”

“why don’t you all stand under a stalactite and bellow the resonate frequency, causing it to plummet onto your cranium!!”

he seems to like it! kilmer makes a little hee hee noise, unprepared for where this is undoubtedly going.

“you’re repungnant!”

“AAUGHGHGHHH.”

there it is.

“repugnant!”

“i say repugnant!”

repugnant repugnant repugnant repugnant

repugnant!

and with that, jerry kilmer falls out of the window.

as he does, he yells “i’ll get you, jamal spelling” which personally i think is unfair. jamal couldn’t have known, surely? don’t be mean to jamal. he’s got a lot on his mind, what with that restraining order against howie turn.

meanwhile, in the lab, the mice debate a good pitch for a pilot (i’ve got it, brain! it’s a show about nothing!) when jamal spelling gets a call.

“hi jamal! this is nina from the tv station. could you come down for a meeting?”

“mm hmmm.”

✨

it’s the WB.

as nina types away, jamal and jonathan enter casually, like this is their house, or something. “are you pleased to see us?” asks jamal, in a cocky, egomaniac labmouse sort of way.”

“yes i am!”

(nina somehow doesn’t notice.)

anyway then these guys find the dentures and pitch the first idea that comes into their heads.

“hey cortex! what do you wanna do tonight?”

don’t ask why mouse dentures fit a human man. we suspend our disbelief here.

(also there was no way this was brain’s fault. he couldn’t have known. outside influence it is. a shame, really.)

brain: 7 pinky: 7 outside influence: 14

thanks for the fun meme, @shuunthenonbeliever​ !

#patb #pinky and the brain #WHEEZE #if this refuses to post ONE MORE TIME #i am going to go FERAL #i have typed this all out THREE TIMES #I HAVE HAD ENOUGH #some explodey boys for y'all on saturday! #i hope. #if this episode EVER POSTS.

[tabloidtoc]

People, November 30

Cover: Sexiest Man Alive Michael B. Jordan 

Page 7: Chatter -- Dolly Parton on parenthood, Jason Momoa on wearing pink, Kurt Russell on making a negative first impression with longtime love Goldie Hawn, Taylor Swift on dating Joe Alwyn, Keke Palmer on preferring leggings, Viola Davis on processing the state of the world 

Page 8: 5 Things We’re Talking About This Week -- stars prep a seasonal singalong, a Baby Yoda cocktail wins over famous fans, The Bachelor mansion hits Airbnb, Arnold Schwarzenegger heads to Netflix, Blue Ivy narrates an audiobook 

Page 11: Contents 

Page 12: Contents, Editor’s Letter 

Page 14: StarTracks -- Famous Families -- John Legend and Chrissy Teigen attended the drive-in premiere of Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey in L.A. with their kids Miles and Luna 

Page 15: LeBron James with mom Gloria, Gabrielle Union backyard with daughter Kaavia, Chris Hemsworth and his mother Leonie, Rupert Grint and daughter Wednesday G. Grint

Page 16: Kit Harington filmed a scene for the second season of Modern Love in Dublin, Tiger Woods awarded a green jacket to 2020 Masters champion Dustin Johnson, Patricia Clarkson showed off a shimmering gown at Housing Works’ annual Fashion for Action Benefit 

Page 17: Nashville’s Biggest Night -- Carrie Underwood and husband Mike Fisher attended the 54th annual Country Music Association Awards, Charley Pride performed with Jimmie Allen before accepting his CMA Lifetime Achievement Award, Miranda Lambert with husband Brendan McLoughlin, Maren Morris won three awards and shone a light on Black female country artists 

Page 19: Timothee Chalamet packed on some layers for a bike ride along Manhattan’s Hudson River Park, Molly Bernard and Sutton Foster and Hilary Duff during a break from filming for Younger in New York City’s Upper West Side, Mandy Moore cradled her pregnant belly at the E! People’s Choice Awards in Santa Monica, Tyler Perry at the E! People’s Choice Awards 

Page 23: Scoop -- Healing on Grey’s Anatomy -- inside Patrick Dempsey’s surprise return 

Page 24: Lena Dunham reveals her struggle with infertility and IVF 

Page 26: Heart Monitor -- Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis surprise split, Ryan Cabrera and Alexa Bliss engaged, Michelle Pfeiffer and David E. Kelley happy anniversary, Kristin Cavallari and Jeff Dye dating 

Page 29: Britney Spears’ battle with her dad continues, Britney and Sam Asghari’s island getaway 

Page 30: Ciara and Russell Wilson’s new family moves, Buddy Valastro making progress after his accident 

Page 32: Rebel Wilson -- my year of health and love, Pioneer Woman Ree Drummond becomes a proud foster mom 

Page 34: Passages, Why I Care -- after losing her mother to pancreatic cancer in 2012 Mindy Kaling is raising awareness about the disease 

Page 37: Stories to Make You Smile -- there’s no debate about who won the popular vote in Rabbit Hash in Kentucky: a 6-month-old dog named Wilbur, a tiny preemie grows into a healthy 4-year-old with Superman by his side 

Page 41: People Picks -- The Flight Attendant 

Page 42: Hillbilly Elegy, Happiest Season, Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, Q&A Lindsey Vonn 

Page 43: Lego Star Wars Holiday Special, People Presents: Once upon a Main Street, Small Axe, One to Watch -- The Christmas Chronicles: Part Two’s Darby Camp 

Page 45: Books 

Page 47: Jewel -- what I know now -- she went from homelessness to pop stardom 25 years ago and now the singer gets candid about healing from her abusive childhood and finding true happiness 

Page 53: At home with The Undertaker -- the (family) man behind the WWE legend -- after 30 years in the ring Mark Calaway reflects on his career and catching up on lost time as a dad 

Page 56: At 51 Julie Loving becomes her daughter’s surrogate -- a mother’s amazing gift -- after years of struggling with infertility Breanna Lockwood thought she’d never have a child and then her mom stepped up and gave birth to a healthy baby girl 

Page 60: John Belushi -- the private world of a comedy legend -- nearly four decades after the groundbreaking actor’s tragic death at age 33 those closest to him open up about the legacy he left behind 

Page 64: Emma Stone and Ryan Reynolds -- kids asked and they answered -- the stars of The Croods: A New Age take questions from their youngest fans 

Page 66: A High School Coach’s Betrayal -- shattered justice -- Emilie Morris told police her former track coach had sexually abused her but charges were dropped when she died; now her family hopes a new TV special will bring fresh attention to the case 

Page 72: Michael B. Jordan is the Sexiest Man Alive -- he’s driven and compassionate and playful and doing more than his fair share to help change the world 

Page 83: Men of the Year -- Chris Evans 

Page 84: Harry Styles 

Page 85: Trevor Noah, Kevin Costner, Maluma, Lakeith Stanfield 

Page 86: Paul Rudd, Steve Kornacki, William Zabka, Ryan Seacrest, Darren Barnet 

Page 87: Brad Pitt, The Weeknd, Paul Mescal, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II 

Page 88: Manny Jacinto, Dr. Elvis Francois, Stephen Colbert, Robert Pattinson 

Page 89: John David Washington 

Page 90: Dwayne Johnson, Lucas Bravo, Dr. Anthony Fauci 

Page 91: Pedro Pascal 

Page 92: Chris Rock, Matt Bomer, Penn Badgley, Andrew Cuomo, Justin Bieber, Jonathan Majors 

Page 98: The People Have Spoken -- readers exercised their right to vote by picking their favorites in an online poll 

* Sexiest Star Who Kept Us Smiling -- John Krasinski 

* Sexiest Small-Screen Star -- Jensen Ackles 

* Sexiest Royal -- Prince Harry 

Page 99: Sexiest International Man -- Jeon Jungkook 

* Sexiest New Dad -- Joe Jonas 

* Sexiest Happily Settled Guy -- Ryan Reynolds 

Page 100: Sexiest Sports Star -- Patrick Mahomes 

* Sexiest Social Media Star -- Shawn Mendes 

* Sexiest Brothers -- Liam Hemsworth and Chris Hemsworth

* Sexiest Netflix Heartthrob -- Noah Centineo 

Page 106: Dan Levy -- sexiest man in quarantine -- baking and jigsaw puzzles and so many Zooms: whatever quarantine had to offer the Schitt’s Creek co-creator and star tried it all 

Page 115: Hottest Couples -- these twosomes make being in love look good -- Chrissy Teigen and John Legend, Matthew and Camila McConaughey, Kevin and Eniko Hart, Katherine Schwarzenegger Pratt and Chris Pratt, Zayn Malik and Gigi Hadid, Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade, Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez 

Page 117: The Eyes Have It -- in the era of face masks these men are still able to flaunt their finest feature -- Idris Elba, Bradley Cooper, Jesse Williams, Mark Consuelos, Boris Kodjoe, Henry Golding, Zac Efron, Ian Somerhalder 

Page 120: A Sexy Man’s Best (Instafamous) Friend -- Nick Jonas with Gino Chopra Jonas 

Page 123: Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka with Gidget and Spike 

Page 124: Harry Connick Jr. with Tuka 

Page 127: Cats Are Instafamous Too -- these felines and their sexy celeb owners prove they’re just as worthy of social media stardom -- Ed Sheeran with Calippo, Bobby Flay with Nacho, Keegan Allen with Tyn, Ricky Gervais with Pickle 

Page 129: Sexy at Every Age 

Page 130: Silver Foxes -- they’ve still got it -- these former cover stars are as smoldering as ever proving sexiness gets better with age -- Richard Gere, Harrison Ford 

Page 131: Pierce Brosnan, Harry Hamlin, Mark Harmon 

Page 132: All Glowed Up -- this group of guys outgrew their sweet baby faces to become dashingly handsome men -- Adam Rippon, Charlie Puth, Josh Peck, Mario Lopez, Michele Morrone, Skylar Astin 

Page 133: Orlando Bloom, Ramy Youssef, Brooklyn Beckham, Hunter Hayes, Wilson Cruz, Chase Stokes, Jordan Fisher 

Page 134: A Change of Scenery -- we’re all sick of staying home so luckily these sizzling guys have found plenty of ways to get things done outdoors -- Paul Wesley goes camping in his yard 

Page 136: Cole Hauser takes a bath 

Page 137: Common gets a shave and a haircut 

Page 138: Edgar Ramirez enjoys coffee and a book 

Page 140: Derek Hough does his laundry 

Page 143: Cutest Baby Alive -- CNN anchor Anderson Cooper’s sweet son Wyatt 

Page 151: Second Look -- Melissa McCarthy in Superintelligence 

Page 152: One Last Thing -- Kate Mara -- the actress stars in the new limited series A Teacher

#tabloid toc #tabloidtoc #sexiest man alive #michael b. jordan #emma stone #ryan reynolds #the croods: a new age #jensen ackles #chris evans #robert pattinson #rob pattinson #kate mara #grey's anatomy #patrick dempsey #lena dunham #britney spears #ciara #russell wilson #rebel wilson #jewel #the undertaker #john belushi #emilie morris #harry styles #paul rudd #john david washington #pedro pascal #dan levy #nick jonas #neil patrick harris

[pearlposts]

The Best of Soft Rock: More Than A Feeling

 SONG TITLE                                ARTIST       TIME

Lowdown                                     Boz Scaggs    5:18

Whenever I Call You “Friend”  Kenny Loggins    3:18

Piano Man                                    Billy Joel         5:40

Longer                                     Dan Fogelberg    3:18

Miracles                                Jefferson Starship  3:33

Lost in Love                              Air Supply          3:55

More Than I Can Say              Leo Sayer            3:39

Rosanna                                         Toto              4:03

More Than a Feeling                  Boston              3:26

Take It on the Run               REO Speedwagon  3:37

Make Me Lose Control           Eric Carmen         4:48

Total Eclipse of the Heart       Bonnie Tyler         5:35

Living Inside Myself              Gino Vannelli          4:25

The Flame                            Cheap Trick            4:50

Sara                                        Starship               4:23

SONG TITLE                                  ARTIST                   TIME

Livin’ Thing                         Electric Light Orchestra        3:34

This Is It                                   Kenny Loggins                 3:59

Africa                                                Toto                          4:59

Eye In The Sky                      Alan Parsons Project          4:35

Look What You’ve Done to Me       Boz Scaggs                5:18

You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling Daryl Hall & John Oates  4:36

All Out Of Love                              Air Supply                    4:03

Can’t Fight This Feeling           REO Speedwagon            4:55

The Search Is Over                        Survivor                       4:14

All by Myself                               Eric Carmen                    7:11

Without You                               Harry Nilsson                   3:21

Year of the Cat                           Al Stewart                        6:38

Dust in the Wind                         Kansas                            3:27

Vincent                                    Don McLean                       4:01

Please Come to Boston         David Loggins                     4:09

SONG TITLE                                    ARTIST                                  TIME

Baby I’m-a Want You                           Bread                                   2:32

A Horse with No Name                       America                                 4:09

Diamond Girl                                    Seals & Crofts                          4:04

I Saw the Light                                 Todd Rundgren                         3:01

Blinded by the Light                Manfred Mann's Earth Band              3:51

It Might Be You                               Stephen Bishop                          4:14

She’s Gone/Sara Smile/Rich Girl        Hall & Oates                           3:29

Minute By Minute                         The Doobie Brothers                     3:28

Sentimental Lady                                Bob Welch                              3:46

How Much I Feel                                 Ambrosia                                 4:44

Everybody’s Got To Learn Sometime The Korgis                               4:12

If You Leave Me Now                          Chicago                                   3:57

Sailing                                        Christopher Cross                             4:17

Waiting For A Girl Like You             Foreigner                                     4:52

Against All Odds                            Phil Collins                                    3:25

SONG TITLE                                    ARTIST                                              TIME

Ride Like the Wind                        Christopher Cross                                  4:32

Saturday in the Park                          Chicago                                              3:57

Sister Golden Hair                              America                                              3:20

You’re So Vain                                Carly Simon                                            4:18

If                                                          Bread                                                  2:35

Ooh Baby Baby                              Linda Ronstadt                                        2:42

Him                                                Rupert Holmes                                         3:40

You Are the Woman                         Firefall                                                    2:45

All I Need                                       Jack Wagner                                             3:32

Walking In Memphis                       Marc Cohn                                                4:19

Making Love Out Of Nothing At All  Air Supply                                                5:01

I Want to Know What Love Is        Foreigner                                                   5:00

The Living Years                    Mike + the Mechanics                                       5:33

Drive                                               The Cars                                                   3:57

One More Night                           Phil Collins                                                   4:48

I’ll Be There                             The Escape Club                                             4:57

SONG TITLE                                                     ARTIST                                TIME

Summer Breeze                                           Seals & Crofts                             3:26

Key Largo                                                     Bertie Higgins                             3:19

Make It with You                                                 Bread                                    3:12

Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?     Chicago                               3:22

Dream Weaver                                           Gary Wright                                  4:18

Hello It’s Me                                            Todd Rundgren                                3:52

Sara Smile                                      Daryl Hall and John Oates                       3:12

Chuck E.’s In Love                             Rickie Lee Jones                                  3:28

Black Water                                  The Doobie Brothers                                 4:16

Still the One                                             Orleans                                           3:56

Hurt So Bad                                      Linda Ronstadt                                      3:18

Cool Change                                  Little River Band                                      4:08

Biggest Part Of Me                            Ambrosia                                              5:27

Never Be the Same                    Christopher Cross                                       4:41

You Can Do Magic                           America                                                 3:57

SONG TITLE                                    ARTIST                                                TIME

The Guitar Man                                 Bread                                                   3:45

Tin Man                                           America                                                  3:27

Wildfire                               Michael Martin Murphey                                     4:50

25 or 6 to 4                                  Chicago                                                     4:52

Lotta Love                               Nicolette Larson                                             2:43

What a Fool Believes         The Doobie Brothers                                          2:27

Steal Away                              Robbie Dupree                                              3:31

You’re the Only Woman              Ambrosia                                                   4:22

Sexy Eyes                                Dr. Hook                                                       3:00

Kiss You All Over                       Exile                                                           3:30

Even the Nights Are Better   Air Supply                                                       3:59

Arthur’s Theme                  Christopher Cross                                             3:55

Dance with Me                       Orleans                                                         3:21

Beautiful in My Eyes            Joshua Kadison                                              4:10

Black Velvet                        Alannah Myles                                                 4:48

SONG TITLE                        ARTIST                                                         TIME

California Dreamin’      The Mamas & The Papas                                       2:54

Kokomo                        The Beach Boys                                                     3:36

Ventura Highway             America                                                               3:32

Listen to the Music      The Doobie Brothers                                               3:27

I Can See Clearly Now     Johnny Nash                                                     2:43

It Never Rains in Southern California  Albert Hammond                             3:38

Thank You For Being A Friend            Andrew Gold                                   4:45

Everything I Own                                    Bread                                           3:07

When Will I Be Loved                     Linda Ronstadt                                     2:10

I Keep Forgettin’                         Michael McDonald                                    3:41

Baby Come Back                               Player                                                2:16

Circle in the Sand                       Belinda Carlisle                                         4:27

Hold On                                     Wilson Phillips                                            3:41

I’ll Be Over You                              Toto                                                        3:50

Just the Way It Is, Baby          The Rembrandts                                           4:09

 SONG TITLE                            ARTIST                                                     TIME

We Don’t Talk Anymore       Cliff Richard                                                      4:13

Baker Street                       Gerry Rafferty                                                     2:13

When Your in Love with a Beautiful Woman  Dr. Hook                                  2:56

Fool (If You Think It’s Over)       Chris Rea                                                     3:33

You’re No Good                     Linda Ronstadt                                                 3:46

Reminiscing                        Little River Band                                                 3:17

The Air That I Breathe           The Hollies                                                       4:12

Sad Eyes                            Robert John                                                        1:55

I Go Crazy                          Paul Davis                                                           5:23

Hearts                                Marty Balin                                                           4:19

These Dreams                     Heart                                                                  4:17

Jessie                           Joshua Kadison                                                         4:22

Release Me                   Wilson Phillips                                                          3:54

The Doctor                 The Doobie Brothers                                                    3:45

SONG TITLE                    ARTIST                                                               TIME

Maggie May                Rod Stewart                                                               5:15

Higher and Higher      Rita Coolidge                                                             4:01

Whatcha Gonna Do?  Pablo Cruise                                                              4:15

I’m in You                   Peter Frampton                                                           4:11

Drift Away                     Dobie Gray                                                              3:56

More Love                   Kim Carnes                                                               3:37

Babe                             Styx                                                                         4:01

Into The Night        Benny Mardones                                                            4:31

It’s a Heartache       Bonnie Tyler                                                                 3:45

While You See a Chance   Steve Winwood                                                 4:06

Show Me the Way       Peter Frampton                                                        2:30

Fooled Around and Fell in Love    Elvin Bishop                                           4:37

Lonesome Loser           Little River Band                                                     3:54

I’m Not in Love                10 CC                                                                    6:07

I Just Wanna Stop         Gino Vannelli                                                           3:37

SONG TITLE                    ARTIST                                                              TIME

Daniel                          Elton John                                                                3:53

I Need You                   America                                                                    3:07

I Can Dream About You    Dan Hartman                                                       4:11

Escape                      Rupert Holmes                                                            3:54

I’d Really Love to See You Tonight  England Dan & John Ford Coley          2:38

On and On                 Stephen Bishop                                                          3:01

Tempted                        Squeeze                                                                  4:01

The Things We Do For Love   10 CC                                                           3:31

The Best of Times           Styx                                                                      4:18

Cry                       Godley and Creme                                                          3:55

Your Wildest Dreams   The Moody Blues                                                    4:51

Higher Love                 Steve Winwood                                                       5:46

More Than Words           Extreme                                                               5:36

I’d Do Anything for Love    Meat Loaf                                                          5:17

Do You Feel Like We Do      Peter Frampton                                              7:20

SONG TITLE                      ARTIST                                                          TIME

So In to You             Atlanta Rhythm Section                                             4:23

Fly, Robin, Fly           Silver Connection                                                     3:50

Sentimental Lady        Bob Welch                                                              3:46

Show And Tell             Al Wilson                                                                 3:29

Wild Flower             The New Birth                                                             3:59

Delta Dawn             Helen Reddy                                                               3:09

American Pie          Don McLean                                                                8:35

Rock Me Gently      Andy Kim                                                                     3:29

Go All The Way      The Raspberries                                                          3:22

Mr. Big Stuff            Jean Knight                                                                 2:49

Oh Babe, What Would You Say     Hurricane Smith                                   3:26

Hooked On A Feeling     Blue Swede                                                         2:53

 Having My Baby           Paul Anka                                                             2:33

Last Song                     Edward Bear                                                          3:13

The Streak                   Ray Stevens                                                           3:18

SONG TITLE                  ARTIST                                                               TIME

Rhinestone Cowboy   Glen Campbell                                                         3:16

Too Late To Turn Back Now  Cornelius Brothers And Sister Rose             3:20

Boogie Fever             The Sylvers                                                              3:30

Reminiscing            Little River Band                                                         3:17

I Just Want To Celebrate    Rare Earth                                                      2:54

One Bad Apple           The Osmonds                                                         2:43

Have You Never Been Mellow   Olivia Newton-John                                 3:33

Magic                            Pilot                                                                      3:05

Boogie Oogie Oogie     A Taste of Honey                                                  3:38

Right Back Where We Started From   Maxine Nightingale                        3:15

Sad Eyes                        Robert John                                                        1:55

Gonna Fly Now                Bill Conti                                                            2:48

My Sharona                  The Knack                                                            4:02

You Sexy Thing          Hot Chocolate                                                        4:05

Puppy Love               Donny Osmond                                                       3:06

SONG TITLE                 ARTIST                                                              TIME

Love Train                  The O'Jays                                                              2:58

Knock Three Times     Dawn                                                                      2:55

Brandy                    Looking Glass                                                             3:04

Little Willy                  Sweet                                                                       3:12

Baby Don’t Get Hooked on Me    Mac Davis                                              3:06

Take Me Home, Country Roads    John Denver                                         3:13

It Never Rains in Southern California   Albert Hammond                           3:38

Brand New Key                Melanie                                                              2:26

Come and Get Your Love       Redbone                                                      3:32

More. More, More (Part 1)      Andrea True Connection                              3:02

I Can See Clearly Now         Johnny Nash                                                  2:43

Everybody Plays the Fool     The Main Ingredient                                       3:22

Indian Reservation             Paul Revere & The Raiders                              2:52

The Cover of “Rolling Stone”   Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show                2:55

When Will I See You Again      The Three Degrees                                     3:00

SONG TITLE                           ARTIST                                                      TIME

Rich Girl                    Daryl Hall and John Oates                                        2:23

Lady Marmalade                    LaBelle                                                         3:21

Best of My Love              The Emotions                                                      3:41

Fire                             The Pointer Sisters                                                  3:28

Miracles                        Jefferson Starship                                                 3:33

You Make Me Feel Like Dancing    Leo Sayer                                            2:51

Here You Come Again         Dolly Parton                                                   2:58

Disco Lady                        Johnnie Taylor                                                  4:25

Saturday Night                Bay City Rollers                                                  2:56

Rock On                           David Essex                                                      3:26

Wildfire                  Michael Martin Murphey                                              4:50

You Take My Breath Away   Rex Smith                                                    3:15

I Go Crazy                      Paul Davis                                                         5:23

Stumblin’ In        Suzi Quatro and Chris Norman                                      3:31

Torn Between Two Lovers    Mary MacGregor                                         3:44

SONG TITLE                      ARTIST                                                          TIME

Bad, Bad Leroy Brown     Jim Croce                                                         3:00

Don’t Pull Your Love     Hamilton, Joe Frank & Reynolds                          2:41

Love Will Keep Us Together  Captain and Tennille with Neil Sedaka        3:24

Another Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Song  B.J. Thomas             3:22

She’s A Lady                 Tom Jones                                                           2:51

How Do You Do?       Mouth & MacNeal                                                   4:07

Black and White        Three Dog Night                                                      3:51

Escape                      Rupert Holmes                                                        3:54

Drift Away                 Dobie Gray                                                              3:56

It’s a Love Beat     The DeFranco Family                                                 3:09

I’m in You               Peter Frampton                                                          4:11

The Candy Man     Sammy Davis, Jr.                                                      3:10

Spiders & Snakes   Jim Stafford                                                              3:05

Billy, Don’t Be A Hero  Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods                       3:40

The Morning After     Maureen McGovern                                                2:20

SONG TITLE                                   ARTIST                                          TIME

Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves          Cher                                               2:36

Maggie May                                Rod Stewart                                         5:15

Baby Come Back                            Player                                              2:16

I Just Wanna Stop                   Gino Vannelli                                           3:37

Jackie Blue                 Ozark Mountain Daredevils                                  3:37

Higher And Higher               Rita Coolidge                                              4:01

I’m Not in Love                           10 CC                                                   6:07

Y.M.C.A.                               Village People                                            3:45

Will It Go Round in Circles     Billy Preston                                              3:46

I Just Want to Be Your Everything   Andy Gibb                                        3:44

Do You Wanna Make Love        Peter McCann                                        4:01

Signs                            Five Man Electrical Band                                    4:02

Disco Duck                              Rick Dees                                                3:14

Montego Bay                       Bobby Bloom                                               2:55

If I Can’t Have You            Yvonne Elliman                                              3:00

SONG TITLE                         ARTIST                                                     TIME

Play That Funky Music      Wild Cherry                                                    3:16

One Toke Over the Line    Brewer & Shipley                                            3:21

Afternoon Delight          Starland Vocal Band                                           3:14

Life is a Rock                      Reunion                                                        3:31

I Can Help                         Billy Swan                                                       2:57

My Maria                       B.W. Stevenson                                                  2:31

Magnet and Steel            Walter Egan                                                     3:25

Beach Baby                    First Class                                                         2:42

The Rapper                   The Jaggerz                                                        2:45

Brother Louie                  Stories                                                               3:57

Precious and Few            Climax                                                              2:46

O-o-h Child               The 5 Stairsteps                                                      3:15

Playground in My Mind    Clint Holmes                                                     2:57

Put Your Hand In The Hand   Ocean                                                        2:53

Please Come to Boston    David Loggins                                                  4:09

SONG TITLE                      ARTIST                                                         TIME

Turn The Beat Around    Vicki Sue Robinson                                            3:24

Ring My Bell                     Anita Ward                                                        3:31

Sometimes When We Touch   Dan Hill                                                      2:22

Rose Garden               Lynn Anderson                                                      2:49

In The Summertime      Mungo Jerry                                                         3:37

Seasons in the Sun      Terry Jacks                                                           3:30

The Night Chicago Died   Paper Lace                                                       3:32

Rock The Boat            Hues Corporation                                                  3:09

Don’t Give Up on Us        David Soul                                                        3:39

Kung Fu Fighting         Carl Douglas                                                         3:17

Love Grows                Edison Lighthouse                                                  2:51

Sweet Mary              Wadsworth Mansion                                                 2:42

The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia   Vicki Lawrence                     3:36

TSOP             MFSB featuring the Three Degrees                                   3:35

Feelings                    Morris Albert                                                            3:45

#ignore me #manic mania activities #gonna make a playlist later

[sagehaleyofficial]

HERE’S WHAT YOU MISSED THIS WEEK (10.9-10.15.19):

NEW MUSIC:

·         The Killers teased their next album by posting what looks like potential song titles for the record on social media. The band took to Instagram to post a whiteboard with various words written on it that look like song titles.

·         Waterparks unveiled a new Instagram face filter in honor of their new album Fandom. The filter is inspired by lead singer Awsten Knight’s green star face paint in the band’s video for “High Definition.”

·         Recently, alternative artist JUMEX released a new song “Spraypaint” with Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker. Now, he’s unveiled a new video for the single that’s inspired by the new film Joker, where he sports Joker-inspired makeup.

·         Hawthorne Heights announced they will be releasing a collection of B-sides and rarities called Lost Frequencies. Along with the announcement, they released a new single titled “Hard to Breathe.”

·         Green Day debuted a brand new song that aired ahead of a National Hockey League (NHL) game. The new song is called “Fire, Ready, Aim” and comes from the band’s upcoming album Father of All…, out on February 7th, 2020.

·         In honor of their upcoming tour, Simple Plan, State Champs and We the Kings collaborated on a new track titled “Where I Belong.” The new track dropped last Friday at midnight local time ahead of their fall run.

·         YUNGBLUD unleashed “Original Me” with Imagine Dragons vocalist Dan Reynolds earlier this week. Taken from the Underrated Youth EP, the video follows the equally as cinematic “Hope for the Underrated Youth” video that dropped last month.

·         Simple Creatures just dropped a crazy new video for their song “Thanks, I Hate It” that the band describes as “nightmare fuel.” The song was the second of three singles the band released from their Everything Opposite EP, which dropped last Friday.

·         Dance Gavin Dance have released a sun-soaked video for their new song “Blood Wolf,” filled with vampire fangs, fake blood and some intense swimming. Recently, they also announced the date and location for next year’s Swanfest.

TOUR ANNOUNCEMENTS:

·         The lineup for next year’s iHeartRadio ALTer EGO concert was revealed that includes Billie Eilish, Blink-182 and more. The third-annual show will take place at the Los Angeles Forum on January 18th, 2020.

·         Asking Alexandria frontman Danny Worsnop announced a North American solo tour that will kick off at the beginning of 2020. Earlier this year, Worsnop dropped his most recent solo album Shades of Blue, which blends country, blues and soul.

·         With Poppy‘s third album I Disagree set to be released on January 10th, 2020, the Los Angeles musician announced today the dates and locations for a headliner European/UK tour. The news comes just a few days after she dropped the title track for the album.

·         YUNGBLUD announced an intimate tour where he will strip down all the songs from his upcoming Underrated Youth EP at a few exclusive shows. The UK shows will take place in October and November at three venues.

·         After posting cryptic teasers over the last week, Hey Monday frontwoman Cassadee Pope has announced a “#HeyItsMonday Pop-Punk Night” in Nashville. The show, scheduled for November 25th, will feature appearances from some special guests.

·         The Neon Museum in Las Vegas held their annual Boneyard Ball on Saturday, allowing guests to party alongside Tim Burton and his creative creations. The man himself introduced the Killers as they took the stage.

OTHER NEWS:

·         The mother of late rapper Lil Peep filed a lawsuit against the artist’s former management and tour company nearly two years after his death. Since the lawsuit has been filed, First Access Entertainment denied any responsibility for the death of Lil Peep and condemned the lawsuit.

·         Panic! at the Disco manager Zack Hall denied fans’ guesses that Brendon Urie is the leopard on The Masked Singer. He also guessed that the character was actually American actor and singer Titus Burgess in disguise.

·         Twenty One Pilots unveiled a new line of Ned merch and revealed when the character’s Funko Pop! doll will drop. The entity first appeared as a strange, white, Furby-looking creature in the “Chlorine” music video.

·         Spirit Halloween and Spencer’s launched The Nightmare Before Christmas' FunkO's cereal just in time for Halloween. Each box comes with a glow-in-the-dark Pocket Pop! of Jack Skellington’s best canine friend Zero.

·         The Wrecks frontman Nick Anderson has released a video apologizing again for “insensitive jokes” he made last year while on stage and explained his “growth process” since. Last November, Anderson made comments on stage regarding Nazis, abortions and miscarriages.

·         I Don’t Know How but They Found Me opened up a discussion with their fans on social media about the concept of paid meet and greets. The duo, comprised of Dallon Weekes and Ryan Seaman, created a Twitter poll asking about meet and greets and if they should be paid.

·         The Addams Family star Chloe Grace Moretz shared how she helped embody Wednesday’s emo attitude, and My Chemical Romance is involved. In a new interview with CinemaBlend, Moretz was asked about how she related to Wednesday’s dark and rebellious character.

·         Concert discovery site Bandsintown are launching a new Live Music Charts function to their repertoire. The new charts will be the first data-driven predictive charts showing current interest in the touring activity of artists.

·         The nominees for the 2020 class of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inductees were announced, and they include iconic acts like Soundgarden, Nine Inch Nails, Motorhead, Judas Priest and more. The actual inductees will be announced in January and will be inducted on May 2nd, 2020 at Cleveland’s Public Hall.

·         Boys Like Girls guitarist and music producer Paul DiGiovanni and actress Katie Stevens tied the knot on Saturday after getting engaged last year. The couple made things official in Nashville, Tennessee, surrounded by 250 of their closest friends and family.

·         Hot Topic unveiled a spooky new collection in collaboration with Disney’s classic Halloween film Hocus Pocus. The collection includes shirts, hoodies, dresses, pants, accessories and much more.

___

Check in next Tuesday for more “Posi Talk with Sage Haley,” only at @sagehaleyofficial!

#posi talk #the killers #waterparks #blink-182 #my chemical romance #green day #idkhow #twenty one pilots #panic! at the disco #lil peep #yungblud #poppy #asking alexandria #nightmare before christmas #hocus pocus #state champs #imagine dragons #simple creatures #dance gavin dance #simple plan #we the kings #hey monday #hawthorne heights #boys like girls #the addams family #music news #pop punk #emo

[fukushima-kamikrazee-war-boy]

Let’s see them all, toasty 💖 1-60 Ilyyyyyy😘

Oh lord what have I done

1. selfie

2. what would you name your future kids? Alfred and Ophelia have grown on me over the last few years. Doubt I'll actually do it though.

3. do you miss anyone? Sure do, it's hard not to these days

4. what are you looking forward to? Being in a better place!

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile? There is!

6. is it hard for you to get over someone? It definitely is

7. what was your life like last year? Pretty good honesty. Had more ups than downs fortunately.

8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed? Annoyed? No. Frustrated, yes.

9. who did you last see in person? My dad technically.

10. are you good at hiding your feelings? I don't verbalize them a lot but my heart is firmly attached to my sleeve so they're usually at least a little bit visible

11. are you listening to music right now? Not currently unfortunately

12. what is something you want right now? Plenty of things. I wouldn't mind a new workshop or this one cool shirt I saw on redbubble.

13. how do you feel right now? Pretty decent honestly

14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you? Over the weekend maybe

15. personality description: silly goose

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t? Every day of my life

17. opinion on insecurities. Everyone has them, just don't make yours into a problem for everyone.

18. do you miss how thing were a year ago? I do. Wasn't perfect but it was nice. Nostalgia is nice but it's important to move forward

19. have you ever been to New York? ...no

20. what is your favourite song at the moment? Right now? Probably Charley Crockett's cover of Night Train to Memphis

21. age and birthday? 24, June 7

22. description of crush. Sharp as a tack, cute as a button. Extremely witty with a great singing voice.

23. fear(s) failure, physical pain, embarrassment

24. height somewhere between 5'10 and 5'11

25. role model my Grandpa

26. idol(s) I don't think I really idolize anyone

27. things i hate: slow traffic, communism, bullies.

28. i’ll love you if… you show me the barest amount of interest

29. favourite film(s) Master and Commander, Mad Max Fury Road, End of Watch, The Way Way Back, Treasure Planet

30. favourite tv show(s) Scrubs, Letterkenny, The Last Kingdom, Narcos,

31. 3 random facts: about me? I can't snap my fingers on my right hand, I've fallen asleep inside a moving helicopter, I own a collection of funny hats

32. are your friends mainly girls or guys? Even split i think

33. something you want to learn i really want to get my pilot's license

34. most embarrassing moment The time I threw up on a subway platform after a party. I think i accidentally sunflowered a stranger. That was a bad time

35. favourite subject History

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill? Go to sea, see the Northern Lights, drive cross country

37. favourite actor/actress Ryan Reynolds and Anna Kendrick i guess

38. favourite comedian(s) John Mulaney, Tom Segura

39. favourite sport(s) Baseball

40. favourite memory oh man too many to list. All of them involve travel. My friend's house upstate, Maine with some pals last year or my first time in Missouri

41. relationship status rhymes with pringle

42. favourite book(s) the entire Aubreyad

43. favourite song ever Oceans by the Format

44. age you get mistaken for i look my age so folks usually get it right

45. how you found out about your idol n/a

46. what my last text message says "Unless you specifically tell me to fuck off I'm not easy to repel"

47. turn ons short hair, sharp mind, being able to kill me

48. turn offs: drug use, non-monogamy

49. where i want to be right now I'll never turn down a boat ride

50. favourite picture of your idol n/a

51. starsign gemini

52. something i’m talented at knifemaking i guess

53. 5 things that make me happy Bodies of water, traveling, good company, Irish music, weapons

54. something thats worrying me at the moment starting my career

55. tumblr friends @lieutenant-dan-ice-cream @spaced-n-confused @safety-is-paramount @black-cap plus several others I couldn't think of off the top of my head

56. favourite food(s) potatoes, pasta, cheese, steak

57. favourite animal(s) Koala, sperm whale, literally any dog

58. description of my best friend Crazy but loyal

59 why i joined tumblr a gal I liked in high school was on here

60. ask me anything you want. Ask me something, Juice

#personal #asks

[jemej3m]

to ruin a royal wedding

idek man i wanted one royal au that wasn’t entwined with fae/magical elements

Prince Nathaniel Abram Wesniski. The name granted him power he’d never asked for in the first place, and yet it was the only way he could have survived. His father reigned with terror, and if he wished to usurp the man, he had to hold onto all resources at his disposal, being his advisor, the honourable Matthew Boyd, and allies from near provinces, Danielle Boyd, Allison Reynolds, and, most importantly, Crown Prince Kevin Day.

There was only the slightest of hiccups: His soon approaching wedding to his father’s allies. Riko Moriyama.

“Kevin assured me that you will keep me safe.” From my father, went unsaid. The knight who stood before him was shorter, broader, and hired by the Wesninski King. Those who betrayed Nathan didn’t live long. Neil clasped his hands behind his back. “That I should trust you.”

“You shouldn’t trust Day’s judgement of character.” Andrew Minyard stated. The man was renowned for his keen swordsmanship, impeccable use of the bow and arrow, and infamous for the blood on his hands. It made sense that the Butcher would hire a once-manic, bloodthirsty man to escort his son, to be a constant threat, should Neil cause trouble. His eyes were voids that Neil found himself spiralling within. “I will be waiting outside your door if you require my service, Prince Nathaniel.”

“Neil.” He said, quickly.

With only a moment of hesitated, Andrew said: “Prince Neil.” He huffed. “Lock your windows.”

“Good night.” Neil said carefully.

“Good night.” The knight returned.

Andrew remained stood by the door, watching Neil with a keen eye as the prince was fitted for his new finery. It would be white, of which the seamstress insisted would be beautiful against his tan skin. He wore an under-shirt now, to cover the scars across his chest, despite Marissa’s fretting and irritation.

His knight barely blinked, nor slept a wink. With all the chaos of the wedding preparations, Neil was exhausted: Not having to watch his own back as he slept was somewhat of a relief.

His window of opportunity to escape was closing. Rapidly.

Marissa checked her watch. “I must run and grab something from my carriage. I’ll be back at once. Don’t move!” She warned, before closing the door.

Neil didn’t move: Instead, Andrew locked the door and came to stand in front of him.

“You should burn your letter correspondences, to those friends you so adore.” Andrew said. Neil’s heart fluttered with fear. “Someone may find them.”

It was the first time Andrew had spoken to him in the past week.

He fiddled. “I fear I would forget their contents.”

“I do not forget things.” Andrew promised. “I will be able to recall their contents for you, if desired. Burn the letters. It’s not safe.”

“You do despise him, don’t you.” Neil said, in a hushed voice. “My father. The Moriyamas. Please tell me you won’t betray me.”

“I detest that word.” Andrew’s perfect facade cracked with an angered grimace. “I do not break my promises, and I vowed I would escort you to safety, to Kevin, when the time comes.”

“Riko Moriyama will not let me out of his grasp, once we are wed.” Neil confided. “You do not have much time.”

“Riko Moriyama will not touch you, for as long as you may live.” Andrew said. His fingers, warm and oddly gentle, brushed over Neil’s cheek.

A rapping upon his chambers’ door disturbed the strange moment between them, and Andrew moved to the door to let the seamstress in.

An idea struck, as the fitting resumed. Neil glanced at his knight, the sultry curve of cheekbones and blonde tufts of hair. Yes, he thought. It might just work.

“Tell me, why are we covertly meeting at a derelict church, in our best finery?” Nicholas Hemmick inquired, Neil’s soon-to-be cousin by marriage.

Andrew had taken but a mere moment to agree upon Neil’s terms: As the knight was allied to Kevin Day, rather than bound under the Wesninski jurisdiction, Neil would be able to choose whom he follows: His husband, or his father. It would force his father to renounce Neil’s position as the heir to his throne, and grant Neil freedom from his father’s kingdom.

And so, he and Andrew had snuck out from Neil’s quarters - it was all very exciting - to snatch the newly crafted wedding garments, intended for Neil’s wedding to Riko Moriyama in two days. Now they were here, with Kevin Day and his fellow allied representatives. Neil was rather chuffed: They all detested his father, and thus he had anticipated they would be cold and unforgiving towards him. But they had taken him under his wing, scheming to free him from his father’s grasp.

“I, too, would like an explanation, Neil.” Kevin said, irritated. As the only fellow Crown Prince in the cohort, he was the only other who wouldn’t call Neil by his title. “It is most tiring, being up so late.”

“It’s freezing.” Allison snapped. “Whatever ludicrous scheme it is this time, I want some mulled wine to accompany it.”

“I’m getting married.” Neil said.

Danielle Wilds, Dan, rolled her eyes. “Yes, Neil. We are aware. In two days, in fact. We were all invited.” Her (secret) husband and Neil’s chosen advisor, Matt, shook his head. Neil was very fond of Matt: He was glad he agreed to come tonight, even if it was difficult to escape the Wesninski castle.

“I wish it weren’t so.” Matt said. “We will lose you to those Moriyamas.”

“No.” He said, gently. “I’m getting married tonight. To Andrew. I asked: He has accepted my hand in marriage.”

The odd dozen faces gathered before the church were distorted with utmost shock.

Wymack, Kevin’s illegitimate father and the late Queen Kayleigh Day’s advisor, sighed, taking his wife Abigail’s hand. “Gracious, finally. I thought Andrew would never settle.”

“But -!” Nicky spluttered. “Neil, you have refused this plan thus far! You did not want to marry. You insisted.”

“You must admit, we’re short on time.” Neil continued to fiddle with his garments. There were too many lace frills. “There isn’t much choice in the matter, is there?”

“But -”

“I know what I said.” Neil snapped, irritated. “I’m marrying Andrew. Anymore qualms, queries, concerns, regarding our partnership? Or is everyone happy to simply shut up?”

“Yes,” Aaron said quietly, eyes boring into Andrew with vehemence. “We will discuss this later. Won’t we?”

“What is there to discuss?” Andrew said flatly.

“Who will unite you in matrimony?” Nicky inquired. “I am yet to have the qualifications.”

“I am.” Said a quiet voice, from the shadows.

Renee Walker was most unnerving for Neil, as he had never truly spoken with her in his life, but it seemed as though the two had both nothing and everything in common. She and Andrew trained together as vigilantes. Now she was a woman of the church.

“Shall we?” She gestured to the church, helping usher everyone within.

Andrew’s hand halted on Neil’s shoulder, a blossom of warmth in the cold, dreary night. “You do not have to marry, if you do not wish to.”

“I must admit, the construct itself seemed undesirable. It was why I refused it, initially.” Neil admitted. “But I find I do not mind. Not with you.”

It was so strange. Over the past few days, almost two weeks, Neil and Andrew had mulled over possible escapes, or ways to break the binding contract between the Wesninskis and Moriyamas. The quiet peace that had developed between them was unparalleled. Neil had never felt so safe.

Beyond his marriage and resulting escape from his father’s clutches, what was it that they would have in common? Not much, but he found he didn’t mind. Talking with Andrew was easy, regardless of subject.

Andrew offered his arm, and Neil hooked his hand through Andrew’s elbow. “Let us be wed, then.”

Neil hated his father’s chambers. An ominous portrait of the late Queen Mary hung over a fireplace. The rug in front of it was stained red with the blood of those who dared to cross Nathan Wesninski. The windows, broad and paned with red stained glass, opened onto the lower courtyards with a deadly drop.

He was sat in front of the fireplace with a placid woman by his side, when Neil knocked upon the wooden doorframe at the chambers’ entrance.

“What is it?” His father growled. “I do not wish to be disturbed.”

“It’s me, father.” Neil glanced across at Andrew, before reaching out to grasp Andrew’s hand. Andrew nodded: Neil laced their fingers together, the gold bands that united them warm to the touch.

“Nathaniel. Why must you disturb me at this hour?” He snapped his fingers at the girl, who scampered away.

“I fear I cannot marry Riko Moriyama.” Neil’s fear of his father ricocheted to and fro within his lungs. “It’s most stuffy in here, isn’t it, father?” He pushed the windows closest to the fire place.

His father lurched to his feet, murderous rage curling his hands into fists. “You will marry the Moriyama boy, Nathaniel. I will not hear another word on the subject. Close that damn window, the drafts will extinguish the fire.”

“It will be objected to.” Neil said. “I am already married. It is not possible that I may marry another.”

His father’s nostrils flared. “What? What are you saying, boy?”

He held up his hand. The gold glinted in the firelight. “I was wed, last night. I am not marrying the Moriyama. I will be departing this castle, and the Wesninski kingdom, at sunrise.”

“Like hell you’ll be leaving.” He snarled, reaching forward to snatch the collar of Neil’s shirt. “I’ll kill whatever rat you’ve pledged yourself to, or I’ll kill you. Those are your options, you conniving little fucker. I knew there was too much of your cowardly bitch of a mother in you. I’ll fucking kill you!”

“You will not harm him no more.” Came a cold voice, the chamber door slamming closed. Andrew held a knife loosely in his fingers, pointed directly at Nathan Wesninski’s throat. “Your reign of terror is done, Wesninski.”

“You -” Nathan gave a guttural scream of frustration. “The academy promised that you were the most loyal, the most bloodthirsty, of your companions! How dare you fool me thus!”

“You forget,” Andrew’s smile was small, cold, and incredibly deadly. Neil’s heart fluttered. My husband. “The academy is hosted by David Wymack, allied to Kevin Day, who opposes you and your paradigms, and is a sworn enemy of the Moriyamas. Now, let go of my husband.”

“Him!” Nathan barked out a laugh. “You married the knight? His hands are just as bloody as mine, dear Nathaniel. You fool.”

“Let me go, father.” Neil said.

“I’ve had enough of you.” Nathan smiled, wickedly sinister, as he shook Neil by the neck. “I’m going to crush your neck as your husband watches. Then I’ll incapacitate him, throw him to a rabid crowd. Let the wolves have him. They’ll rip him to pieces.”

Neil fought to free himself from his father’s grasp, stumbling to Andrew, who accepted Neil into his welcoming grasp. His father charged at the two of them, and so he sprinted, towards the window, before skidding to a halt. His father barrelled towards him. Neil ducked, onto the floor, to avoid being crushed against the brick wall.

Then, in a split second decision, he threw his leg out from where he was crumbled on the floor, and watched with glee as his father tripped and stumbled out of the wide-open window. The panicked yell quickly faded away, before there was a disgusting splat! in the distance.

“He almost crushed you.” Andrew growled, hauling him off the ground. “Don’t dare attempt such acts of idiocy again.”

Neil let himself lean on his husband. “That’s enough for today, yes.”

Andrew merely served him a flat glare.

They fled the chambers, to remain innocuous. It would be frightfully difficult to reclaim the throne if he was charged with his father’s murder.

Within his own chambers, he paced. Desperate for a distraction, he turned to his husband. “Tell me a truth.”

“I committed matricide.” Andrew said, taking Neil’s hands. “You committed patricide. We are most the same. Your turn.”

Neil paused his pacing to look at Andrew. His eyes glowed golden, like the bands of metal around their fingers that linked them together. His lips were curled down with concern as he surveyed Neil. Neil felt his gaze upon his skin like tongues of fire.

He took a deep breath, and let the confession roll off his tongue.

“I told you that I would not develop romantic attachments to you, as I had not expected to.” Neil admitted, cheeks flushed. “I apologise for being unable to control myself, and adhere to the agreement that we both consented to, but I must be honest with you, my husband. I’m most fond of you. Incredibly so.”

Andrew stared at him.

“And you do not need to act upon my desires - I’d never force you. We are equals, regardless of prince and knight status. But if you are -” He hiccupped. “If you are uncomfortable, we may separate. If that is what you wish.” He inhaled sharply, unable to control the shaking of his fingers.

Andrew placed his hands, his warm, strong hands, on the back of Neil’s neck. A while passed before Andrew spoke. “I may also have neglected to adhere to that aspect of our agreement.” His breath washed over the skin of Neil’s neck. Neil felt giddy with the lightness of his heart at Andrew’s confession. “May I kiss you?”

“Such a gentleman.” Neil murmured against his lips, the kiss irresistibly gentle.

“I’ll prove you wrong.” Andrew insisted, walking Neil back to the bed. He then guided Neil’s hands to his hair and warned him, “Just here.”

Neil nodded eagerly.

“Your father toppled from his chamber’s window late in the evening.” The messenger confessed, when Neil cracked the door open to his frantic knocking. The sun was barely up: Neil wanted to return to his bed, where his husband lay, bare to the skin and warmer than the frightfully cold stone beneath his feet.

“You will be crowned as king.” The boy continued. “Your father’s advisors suggest that you should remain engaged with Prince Riko Moriyama to maintain alliances.”

“Tell them that they’re all fired.” Neil said with conviction. “You should also notify them that we are hereby allied with the Days. And that I already have a husband. Run along, now.”

White-faced, the messenger fled.

The minister, Rhenmann, smiled warmly as he placed the golden halo upon Neil’s nest of red curls. The smile crinkled his eyes.“And with the crown bestowed upon you, I declare thee as King. Please announce your title to your new subjects.”

Neil turned around, the crowd weighted upon his head.

The merry band of Neil’s close friends and family that he had gained through his and Andrew’s marriage who were sat in the front row of his coronation, however, Andrew stood by Neil’s side. Neil granted Andrew’s attentive gaze with a small smile, and took his hand.

“King Neil Abram Minyard, of Mary Hatford and Nathan Wesninski.” He turned to Andrew. “A kiss?”

Andrew leant forward, granting Neil a small peck at the corner of his lips.

The crowd stood, and bellowed: “All hail, King Neil!”

i love cute fluffy things, like andrew minyard and cliches and this royalty au

#andreil #royal au #prince and knight au #andrew minyard #neil josten #the foxes #all for the game #cute #but also death and abuse #because nathan is prevalent #fluff #married #the foxhole court #jem writes

[heroicadventurists]

2020 Eisner Award Nominees

Best Short Story

“Hot Comb,” by Ebony Flowers, in Hot Comb (Drawn & Quarterly)

“How to Draw a Horse,” by Emma Hunsinger, The New Yorker, https://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/how-to-draw-a-horse

“The Menopause,” by Mira Jacob, The Believer, https://believermag.com/the-menopause/

“You’re Not Going to Believe What I’m About to Tell You,” by Matthew Inman, The Oatmeal, https://theoatmeal.com/comics/believe

“Who Gets Called an ‘Unfit’ Mother?” by Miriam Libicki, The Nib, https://thenib.com/who-gets-called-an-unfit-mother/

Best Single Issue/One-Shot

Coin-Op No. 8: Infatuation, by Peter and Maria Hoey (Coin-Op Books)

The Freak, by Matt Lesniewski (AdHouse)

Minotäar, by Lissa Treiman (Shortbox)

Our Favorite Thing Is My Favorite Thing Is Monsters, by Emil Ferris (Fantagraphics)

Sobek, by James Stokoe (Shortbox)

Best Continuing Series

Bitter Root, by David Walker, Chuck Brown, and Sanford Greene (Image)

Criminal, by Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips (Image)

Crowded, by Christopher Sebela, Ro Stein, and Ted Brandt (Image)

Daredevil, by Chip Zdarsky and Marco Checchetto (Marvel)

The Dreaming, by Simon Spurrier, Bilquis Evely et al. (DC)

Immortal Hulk, by Al Ewing, Joe Bennett, and Ruy José et al. (Marvel)

Best Limited Series

Ascender, by Jeff Lemire and Dustin Nguyen (Image)

Ghost Tree, by Bobby Curnow and Simon Gane (IDW)

Little Bird by Darcy Van Poelgeest and Ian Bertram (Image)

Naomi by Brian Michael Bendis, David Walker, and Jamal Campbell (DC)

Sentient, by Jeff Lemire and Gabriel Walta (TKO)

Best New Series

Doctor Doom, by Christopher Cantwell and Salvador Larocca (Marvel)

Invisible Kingdom, by G. Willow Wilson and Christian Ward (Berger Books/Dark Horse)

Once & Future, by Kieron Gillen and Dan Mora (BOOM! Studios)

Something Is Killing the Children, by James Tynion IV and Werther Dell’Edera (BOOM! Studios)

Undiscovered Country, by Scott Snyder, Charles Soule, Giuseppe Camuncoli, and Daniele Orlandini (Image)

Best Publication for Kids

Akissi: More Tales of Mischief, by Marguerite Abouet and Mathieu Sapin (Flying Eye/Nobrow)

Dog Man: For Whom the Ball Rolls, by Dav Pilkey (Scholastic Graphix)

Guts, by Raina Telgemeier (Scholastic Graphix)

New Kid, by Jerry Craft (Quill Tree/HarperCollins)

This Was Our Pact, by Ryan Andrews (First Second/Macmillan)

The Wolf in Underpants, by Wilfrid Lupano, Mayana Itoïz, and Paul Cauuet (Graphic Universe/Lerner Publishing Group)

Best Publication for Teens

Harley Quinn: Breaking Glass, by Mariko Tamaki and Steve Pugh (DC)

Hot Comb, by Ebony Flowers (Drawn & Quarterly)

Kiss Number 8, by Colleen AF Venable and Ellen T. Crenshaw (First Second/Macmillan)

Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up with Me, by Mariko Tamaki and Rosemary Valero-O'Connell (First Second/Macmillan)

Penny Nichols, by MK Reed, Greg Means, and Matt Wiegle (Top Shelf)

Best Humor Publication  

Anatomy of Authors, by Dave Kellett (SheldonComics.com)

Death Wins a Goldfish, by Brian Rea (Chronicle Books)

Minotäar, by Lissa Treiman (Shortbox)

Sobek, by James Stokoe (Shortbox)

The Way of the Househusband, vol. 1, by Kousuke Oono, translation by Sheldon Drzka (VIZ Media)

Wondermark: Friends You Can Ride On, by David Malki (Wondermark)

Best Anthology

ABC of Typography, by David Rault, translation by Edward Gauvin (SelfMade Hero)

Baltic Comics Anthology š! #34-37, edited by David Schilter, Sanita Muižniece et al. (kuš!)

Drawing Power: Women’s Stories of Sexual Violence, Harassment, and Survival, edited by Diane Noomin (Abrams)

Kramer’s Ergot #10, edited by Sammy Harkham (Fantagraphics)

The Nib #2–4, edited by Matt Bors (Nib)

Best Reality-Based Work

Good Talk: A Memoir in Conversations, by Mira Jacob (One World/Random House)

Grass, by Keum Suk Gendry-Kim, translation by Janet Hong (Drawn & Quarterly)

Kid Gloves: Nine Months of Careful Chaos, by Lucy Knisley (First Second/Macmillan)

Moonbound: Apollo 11 and the Dream of Spaceflight, by Jonathan Fetter-Vorm (Hill & Wang)

My Solo Exchange Diary, vol. 2 (sequel to My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness), by Nagata Kabi, translation by Jocelyne Allen (Seven Seas)

They Called Us Enemy, by George Takei, Justin Eisinger, Steven Scott, and Harmony Becker (Top Shelf)

Best Graphic Album—New

Are You Listening? by Tillie Walden (First Second/Macmillan)

Bezimena, by Nina Bunjevac (Fantagraphics)

BTTM FDRS, by Ezra Claytan Daniels and Ben Passmore (Fantagraphics)

Life on the Moon, by Robert Grossman (Yoe Books/IDW)

New World, by David Jesus Vignolli (Archaia/BOOM!)

Reincarnation Stories, by Kim Deitch (Fantagraphics)

Best Graphic Album—Reprint

Bad Weekend by Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips (Image)

Clyde Fans, by Seth (Drawn & Quarterly)

Cover, vol. 1, by Brian Michael Bendis and David Mack (DC/Jinxworld)

Glenn Ganges: The River at Night, by Kevin Huizenga (Drawn & Quarterly)

LaGuardia, by Nnedi Okorafor and Tana Ford (Berger Books/Dark Horse)

Rusty Brown, by Chris Ware (Pantheon)

Best Adaptation from Another Medium

Giraffes on Horseback Salad: Salvador Dali, the Marx Brothers, and the Strangest Movie Never Made, by Josh Frank, Tim Hedecker, and Manuela Pertega (Quirk Books)

The Giver, by Lois Lowry, adapted by P. Craig Russell, (HMH Books for Young Readers)

The Handmaid’s Tale: The Graphic Novel, by Margaret Atwood, adapted by Renee Nault (Nan A. Talese)

HP Lovecraft’s At the Mountains of Madness, vols. 1–2, adapted by Gou Tanabe, translation by Zack Davisson (Dark Horse Manga)

The Seventh Voyage, by Stanislaw Lem, adapted by Jon J Muth, translation by Michael Kandel (Scholastic Graphix)

Snow, Glass, Apples, by Neil Gaiman and Colleen Doran (Dark Horse Books)

Best U.S. Edition of International Material

Diabolical Summer, by Thierry Smolderen and Alexandre Clerisse, translation by Edward Gauvin (IDW)

Gramercy Park, by Timothée de Fombelle and Christian Cailleaux, translation by Edward Gauvin (EuroComics/IDW)

The House, by Paco Roca, translation by Andrea Rosenberg (Fantagraphics)

Maggy Garrisson, by Lewis Trondheim and Stéphane Oiry, translation by Emma Wilson (SelfMadeHero)

Stay, by Lewis Trondheim and Hubert Chevillard, translation by Mike Kennedy (Magnetic Press)

Wrath of Fantômas, by Olivier Bocquet and Julie Rocheleau, translation by Edward Gauvin (Titan)

Best U.S. Edition of International Material—Asia

BEASTARS, by Paru Itagaki, translation by Tomo Kimura (VIZ Media)

Cats of the Louvre, by Taiyo Matsumoto, translation by Michael Arias (VIZ Media)

Grass, by Keum Suk Gendry-Kim, translation by Janet Hong (Drawn & Quarterly)

Magic Knight Rayearth 25th Anniversary Edition, by CLAMP, translation by Melissa Tanaka (Kodansha)

The Poe Clan, by Moto Hagio, translation by Rachel Thorn (Fantagraphics)

Witch Hat Atelier, by Kamome Shirahama, translation by Stephen Kohler (Kodansha)

Best Archival Collection/Project—Strips

Cham: The Best Comic Strips and Graphic Novelettes, 1839–1862, by David Kunzle (University Press of Mississippi)

Ed Leffingwell’s Little Joe, by Harold Gray, edited by Peter Maresca and Sammy Harkham (Sunday Press Books)

The George Herriman Library: Krazy & Ignatz 1916–1918, edited by R.J. Casey (Fantagraphics)

Krazy Kat: The Complete Color Sundays, by George Herriman, edited by Alexander Braun (TASCHEN)

Madness in Crowds: The Teeming Mind of Harrison Cady, by Violet and Denis Kitchen (Beehive Books)

Pogo, Vol. 6: Clean as a Weasel, by Walt Kelly, edited by Mark Evanier and Eric Reynolds (Fantagraphics)

Best Archival Collection/Project—Comic Books

Alay-Oop, by William Gropper (New York Review Comics)

The Complete Crepax, vol. 5: American Stories, edited by Kristy Valenti (Fantagraphics)

Jack Kirby’s Dingbat Love, edited by John Morrow (TwoMorrows)

Moonshadow: The Definitive Edition, by J. M. DeMatteis, Jon J Muth, George Pratt, Kent Williams, and others (Dark Horse Books)

Stan Sakai’s Usagi Yojimbo: The Complete Grasscutter Artist Select, by Stan Sakai, edited by Scott Dunbier (IDW)

That Miyoko Asagaya Feeling, by Shinichi Abe, translation by Ryan Holmberg, edited by Mitsuhiro Asakawa (Black Hook Press)

Best Writer

Bobby Curnow, Ghost Tree (IDW)

MK Reed and Greg Means, Penny Nichols (Top Shelf)

Mariko Tamaki, Harley Quinn: Breaking Glass (DC); Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up with Me (First Second/Macmillan); Archie (Archie)

Lewis Trondheim, Stay (Magnetic Press); Maggy Garrisson (SelfMadeHero)

G. Willow Wilson, Invisible Kingdom (Berger Books/Dark Horse); Ms. Marvel (Marvel)

Chip Zdarsky, White Trees (Image); Daredevil, Spider-Man: Life Story (Marvel); Afterlift (comiXology Originals)

Best Writer/Artist

Nina Bunjevac, Bezimena (Fantagraphics)

Mira Jacob, Good Talk (Random House); “The Menopause” in The Believer (June 1, 2019)

Keum Suk Gendry-Kim, Grass (Drawn & Quarterly)

James Stokoe, Sobek (Shortbox)

Raina Telgemeier, Guts (Scholastic Graphix)

Tillie Walden, Are You Listening? (First Second/Macmillan)

Best Penciller/Inker or Penciller/Inker Team

Ian Bertram, Little Bird (Image)

Colleen Doran, Snow, Glass, Apples (Dark Horse)

Bilquis Evely, The Dreaming (DC)

Simon Gane, Ghost Tree (IDW)

Steve Pugh, Harley Quinn: Breaking Glass (DC)

Rosemary Valero-O'Connell, Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up with Me (First Second/Macmillan)

Best Painter/Digital Artist

Didier Cassegrain, Black Water Lilies (Europe Comics)

Alexandre Clarisse, Diabolical Summer (IDW)

David Mack, Cover (DC)

Léa Mazé, Elma, A Bear’s Life, vol. 1: The Great Journey (Europe Comics)

Julie Rocheleau, Wrath of Fantômas (Titan)

Christian Ward, Invisible Kingdom (Berger Books/Dark Horse)

Best Cover Artist

Jen Bartel, Blackbird  (Image Comics)

Francesco Francavilla, Archie, Archie 1955, Archie Vs. Predator II, Cosmo (Archie)

David Mack, American Gods, Fight Club 3 (Dark Horse); Cover (DC)

Emma Rios, Pretty Deadly (Image)

Julian Totino Tedesco, Daredevil (Marvel)

Christian Ward, Machine Gun Wizards (Dark Horse), Invisible Kingdom (Berger Books/Dark Horse)

Best Coloring

Lorena Alvarez, Hicotea (Nobrow)

Jean-Francois Beaulieu, Middlewest, Outpost Zero (Image)

Matt Hollingsworth, Batman: Curse of the White Knight, Batman White Knight Presents Von Freeze (DC); Little Bird, November (Image)

Molly Mendoza, Skip (Nobrow)

Dave Stewart, Black Hammer, B.P.R.D.: The Devil You Know, Hellboy and the BPRD (Dark Horse); Gideon Falls (Image); Silver Surfer Black, Spider-Man (Marvel)

Best Lettering

Deron Bennett, Batgirl, Green Arrow, Justice League, Martian Manhunter (DC); Canto (IDW); Assassin Nation, Excellence (Skybound/Image); To Drink and To Eat, vol. 1 (Lion Forge); Resonant (Vault)

Jim Campbell, Black Badge, Coda (BOOM Studios); Giant Days, Lumberjanes: The Shape of Friendship (BOOM Box!); Rocko’s Modern Afterlife  (KaBOOM!); At the End of Your Tether (Lion Forge); Blade Runner 2019 (Titan); Mall, The Plot, Wasted Space (Vault)

Clayton Cowles, Aquaman, Batman, Batman and the Outsiders, Heroes in Crisis, Superman: Up in the Sky, Superman’s Pal Jimmy Olsen (DC); Bitter Root, Pretty Deadly, Moonstruck, Redlands, The Wicked + The Divine (Image); Reaver  (Skybound/Image); Daredevil, Ghost-Spider, Silver Surfer Black, Superior Spider-Man, Venom (Marvel)

Emilie Plateau, Colored: The Unsung Life of Claudette Colvin (Europe Comics)

Stan Sakai, Usagi Yojimbo (IDW)

Tillie Walden, Are You Listening? (First Second/Macmillan)

Best Comics-Related Periodical/Journalism

Comic Riffs blog, by Michael Cavna with David Betancourt, www.washingtonpost.com/entertainment/comics/

The Comics Journal, edited by Gary Groth, RJ Casey, and Kristy Valenti (Fantagraphics)

Hogan’s Alley, edited by Tom Heintjes (Hogan’s Alley)

Inks: The Journal of the Comics Studies Society, edited by Qiana Whitted (Ohio State University Press)

LAAB Magazine, vol. 4: This Was Your Life, edited by Ronald Wimberly and Josh O’Neill (Beehive Books)

Women Write About Comics, edited by Nola Pfau and Wendy Browne, www.WomenWriteAboutComics.com

Best Comics-Related Book

The Art of Nothing: 25 Years of Mutts and the Art of Patrick McDonnell (Abrams)

The Book of Weirdo, by Jon B. Cooke (Last Gasp)

Grunt: The Art and Unpublished Comics of James Stokoe (Dark Horse)

Logo a Gogo: Branding Pop Culture, by Rian Hughes (Korero Press)

Making Comics, by Lynda Barry (Drawn & Quarterly)

Screwball! The Cartoonists Who Made the Funnies Funny, by Paul Tumey (Library of American Comics/IDW)

Best Academic/Scholarly Work

The Art of Pere Joan: Space, Landscape, and Comics Form, by Benjamin Fraser (University of Texas Press)

The Comics of Rutu Modan: War, Love, and Secrets, by Kevin Haworth (University Press of Mississippi)

EC Comics: Race, Shock, and Social Protest, by Qiana Whitted (Rutgers University Press)

The Peanuts Papers: Writers and Cartoonists on Charlie Brown, Snoopy & the Gang, and the Meaning of Life, edited by Andrew Blauner (Library of America)

Producing Mass Entertainment: The Serial Life of the Yellow Kid, by Christina Meyer (Ohio State University Press)

Women’s Manga in Asia and Beyond: Uniting Different Cultures and Identities, edited by Fusami Ogi et al. (Palgrave Macmillan)

Best Publication Design

Grunt: The Art and Unpublished Comics of James Stokoe, designed by Ethan Kimberling (Dark Horse)

Krazy Kat: The Complete Color Sundays, by George Herriman, designed by Anna-Tina Kessler (TASCHEN)

Logo a Gogo, designed by Rian Hughes (Korero Press)

Madness in Crowds: The Teeming Mind of Harrison Cady, designed by Paul Kopple and Alex Bruce (Beehive Books)

Making Comics, designed by Lynda Barry (Drawn & Quarterly)

Rusty Brown, designed by Chris Ware (Pantheon)

Best Digital Comic

Afterlift, by Chip Zdarsky and Jason Loo (comiXology Originals)

Black Water Lilies, by Michel Bussi, adapted by Frédéric Duval and Didier Cassegrain, translated by Edward Gauvin (Europe Comics)

Colored: The Unsung Life of Claudette Colvin, by Tania de Montaigne, adapted by Emilie Plateau, translated by Montana Kane (Europe Comics)

Elma, A Bear’s Life, vol. 1: The Great Journey, by Ingrid Chabbert and Léa Mazé, translated by Jenny Aufiery (Europe Comics)

Mare Internum, by Der-shing Helmer (comiXology; gumroad.com/l/MIPDF)

Tales from Behind the Window, by Edanur Kuntman, translated by Cem Ulgen (Europe Comics)

Best Webcomic

Cabramatta, by Matt Huynh, http://believermag.com/cabramatta/

Chuckwagon at the End of the World, by Erik Lundy, https://hollowlegcomics.tumblr.com/chuckwagon

The Eyes, by Javi de Castro, https://www.javidecastro.com/theeyes

Fried Rice Comic, by Erica Eng, https://friedricecomic.tumblr.com

reMIND, by Jason Brubaker, https://is.gd/T7rafM

Third Shift Society, by Meredith Moriarty, https://www.webtoons.com/en/supernatural/third-shift-society/list?title_no=1703

#eisner awards #DC comics #Marvel Comics #image Comics #IDW #Dark Horse #Boom Studios #toon #first second #Top Shelf #naomi #Harley Quinn #doctor doom #Daredevil #immortal hulk #bitter root #the dreaming #criminal #crowded #ascender #ghost tree #little bird #sentient #invisible kingdom #once & future #something is killing the children #undiscovered country #comixology originals #webtoons #archie comics