#“three and seven is ten so if you add the other three its thirteen”

[thejacketscloset]

Soap is extremely good at math, but his methods for getting his answers confuse Ghost to no end. He goes through added steps to equations Ghost would never even consider, he somehow factors and simplifies at the same time. Despite how complicated Soap's process seems to be though, Ghost has yet to see him be wrong.

Ghost asks Soap about his process once between missions. They're relaxing on base and Soap is going over his formulas for his demolitions, looking for any improvements he could make. Ghost gets another glance at his nearly illegible equations and forgets to hold his tounge before it's too late.

"How in the bloody hell do you make sense of all of that?" He grumbles out, sounding more confused than anything.

Soap glances over to where Ghost is peeking at his notes, and he offers a genuine smile.

"Ah dunno'. Just kinda clump together the things that make most sense." Soap answers. He points to a specific part of his notes as he speeks, but it does little to make them any more clear for Ghost.

Ghost hums and considers the answer for a second.

"Well it's impressive, Johnny. Lord knows I couldn't do all that."

He hardly thinks the praise is anything special, but then he's looking back to Soap's face and he's just beaming at Ghost, and damn if he can't fight off his own smile.

#soap does ADHD math #i die on this hill #ask him to add 6 and 7 he'll have 2 steps for the answer #“three and seven is ten so if you add the other three its thirteen” #ghost just stands there kind of baffled #ghostsoap #soapghost #cod #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #soap x ghost #ghost x soap #mw2

[esamastation]

Part thirty-three of Shizuroth, aka, the SOLDIER General's Self Saving Shizun.

Ao3 link.

Previous parts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty, thirty-one, thirty-two

-

Reno hates the fact that in the last twenty four hours he's somehow become the Turk Expert on SOLDIER behaviour. Well, Rude did some of the research too, but still, this is not the way Reno expected to see his career going.

"I think the fundamental problem with the entire SOLDIER corps is that they don't know how to take a fucking break," he decides, rocking his chair back and forth on its back legs while making faces at the ceiling. "I mean, just look at the shitshow that started just because Sephiroth took some time off! They couldn't even let him have that."

Rude hums, shuffling through what looks like all of the camp's paperwork.

Reno continues, crossing his hands behind his neck. "Rhapsodos and Hewley don't leave him alone, everything he does is scrutinised -"

"Mostly by us," Rude comments.

Reno ignores him. "The other Firsts take him out training, because they don't do enough of that in their work hours, clearly, and then Rhapsodos drags him out shopping, and that's just the first day. The second day he goes to train in what was at the time an empty training room not in use, and the moment he does, people call Hojo on his ass," he waves a hand. "The poor schmuck took a break, and all he got was so much stress for it! And that's without even taking into consideration his memory loss!"

Rude hums in agreement and then looks up. "SOLDIERs don't have work hours."

"What?" Reno asks, his momentum halted.

"SOLDIERs aren't paid by the hour - they're paid by the mission. They, technically, pick their own hours. They can and do regularly make thousands of Gil in a matter of hours."

The front legs of Reno's chair bang against the floor, rattling their entire paper hut of a house. "Well, I know that, yes, everyone knows that. It's a big selling point, aside from the whole become a hero by having Mako pumped into your veins thing."

Rude hums in agreement. "With his mission completion rate, Sephiroth regularly makes up to quarter million Gil in a month."

"... By working how many hours, in general, per day?"

"Seventeen - 

"Seventeen?! When does the fucker sleep?!"

Rude shrugs and puts the papers down. "According to his medical file, he generally can do with five hours of sleep while maintaining optimal function."

"And who the fuck determined that - Professor Hojo?" Reno scoffs. "Un-fucking-believable. Also my point is made! SOLDIERs don't know how to take a fucking break."

"Truly a detrimental view on work," Rude agrees.

"It really fucking is! I mean, come on! You take a bunch of jacked up meatheads, give them a system that massively rewards their overwork, you keep them on call all the time, keeping them on edge and hyped up, all the while Hojo looms over them like the fucking boogeyman and can pull them into the labs any time he wants!" Reno scoffs. "Never mind the fact that they're considered, technically, Shinra property, with all the Mako in their veins, so they have fuck all employee's rights."

"Might add to the reason why so few take time off," Rude agrees.

"They do have paid time off, right?" Reno asks. "The program isn't that much of a shit, right?"

"They do, standard rate… which is on average about a fifth of what they'd stand to make working. Or in Sephiroth's case… one-thirtieth."

"Of course it fucking is," Reno scoffs with disgust.

"... And the Science department can still call them in, if they're in Midgar."

"So either work yourself to early death or take a massive hit to the wallet and still Science can just grab your ass if they feel like it! What the fuck," Reno mutters. "Who the fuck designed the SOLDIER program, anyway?"

"According to the paperwork, originally Professor Gast… but its current form is mostly Professor Hojo's handiwork."

"Guess I should've expected that," Reno mutters and rocks back in his chair again, glaring at the ceiling. "The whole fucking system is rigged to blow. Nice fucking experiment you got there, Professor."

And now it's his problem to deal with. Wonderful.

He thinks of the way Angeal said it, time and privacy, like it was a joke, an impossible task. It makes him so fucking mad.

The only fucking reason work as a Turk is worth it sometimes is because it comes with some sweet fucking benefits - including properly paid time off and all the incentive on the fucking planet to use it, too. Because way back when Turks were first put together, then still called the Investigation Sector of the General Affairs Department, someone had the common sense to look at these guys, with abilities and access of fucking spies, and go, "yeah, you know what we don't want to see - what happens when these assholes get burnout." Because that's how you end up with your asshole bosses assassinated in the night.

To this day Turks will fight tooth and nail to keep their off work hours off the fucking clock. Because what happens on the clock is bad enough, and if it doesn't justify being able to fucking punch out at the end of the day, then what's even the fucking point?

Time and privacy aren't impossible to get, for the Turks - those are fucking contractually enforced benefits they're entitled to, and just a few of many! They keep them fucking sane! And woe be the fucking asshole who tries to mess with them. Even Heidegger knows better.

It's so damn wild to realise that just a few floors down there a bunch of bastards who just don't… care? Who are incentivised not to care. Who'd rather work themselves to death rather than risk being seen at loose ends. Guess that's how Shinra keeps the SOLDIERs in check - they're clearly all of them too overworked to even think straight anymore. And those who are not working still might be pulled into the Science Department any time. Shit.

Dragging his hands down his face with a groan, Reno rolls out of his chair. "I hate this fucking assignment already. Did you find anything?"

"There are a few potential sites," Rude agrees and shows him a drawn map of the area. "A charcoal burner's house over here has been abandoned for months, and might be in bad condition. A hunter's lodge over here, it's higher up on the mountains and might be within view of Wutai patrols from Fort Tamblin. And here there's an old farm, partially burned in a bombing two years back, abandoned since."

Reno considers the locations. The hunter's lodge is right out… "We'll start with the charcoal place," he decides. "If that doesn't work out, then the farm."

"Sounds good," Rude agreed. "How will we justify it?"

"Do we justify it? It's Turk business," Reno scoffs, taking out his PHS. "And so, it's no one's business."

Rude thinks about that for a moment and then nods. "I'll requisition supplies."

"You do that," Reno agrees, checks his watch to make sure it's office hours back home and makes a call. It takes no time for the call to connect. "Good morning, boss, how's the weather in Midgar?"

"There was a storm, but it looks like the worst is over now," Tseng answers. "What's the word for Sephiroth?"

Reno flashes back to the moment he heard the arguably strongest man in the world sobbing into his hands about how fucked he is. "Yeah, so, about that. We're making some new arrangements."

-

What I love most about the Turks is how they definitely know how to appreciate time off.

#Fanfiction #ffvii #ff7 #reno of the turks #rude of the turks

[shdo-xplosion]

hello! ₍₍ ( ๑॔˃̶◡ ˂̶๑॓)◞♡ my name is dove, and i’m new to tumblr and its glorious anime fandom spaces, so i’m hosting this event in hopes of making some friends. i’ve seen some events around for milestones(?) and thought to myself, ‘why not introduce yourself that way, dove?’so here i am!

i’m taking some inspiration from other events i’ve seen in terms of games, but i’m hoping they’re still fun for everyone!

fandoms included in this event are BLUE LOCK, GENSHIN IMPACT, MY HERO ACADEMIA, TOKYO REVENGERS

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: some of the content for this event will be of the dark variety, however, all of it will be tagged. proceed with caution!

𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬:

• please be at least 18 years or older

• you may play all the games, but please don’t send in multiple requests for any of them, especially matches, spells, and froggy kisses!

• please be respectful of me and my lack of boundaries

• if you enjoy the event, give me a follow! (≧◡≦)

EVENT STARTS NOW & ENDS WHEN I WANT IT TO

event tag: doves welcome event✿

𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

(⋆◗̑◡◗̑)⸝♡⃛⸜(◖̑◡◖̑⋆) 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠

tell me a bit about yourself (hobbies), what you look like (aesthetic), and what you’re looking for in a partner (gender, fandom), and i’ll play matchmaker with you!

♡ 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐬

give me a character, how you love them, and/or how they love you, and i’ll create a love spell for you. example below:

BASIL TO FIND AND PROTECT LOVE; ROSE HIPS FOR GENERAL LOVE AND PEACE; ROSE QUARTZ FOR LOVE OF SELF ♡

★ note: though i do practice witchcraft, i am not an expert in any spells or the craft in general

*ೃ༄ 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐬

send me your fave and a vague physical description of yourself/oc and i’ll make a very rough sketch of the two of you! (i am not an artist, these are just quick little sketches from a reference with a messy watercolor brush). also, the froggy hat is not a must, but i can add it if you want! don’t forget to tell me who’s kissin’ who!

ex:

｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐚 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐡𝐚𝐭

pick any character from any of the fandoms above as well as a number shown below and i’ll reply with a short drabble/scene from my correlating prompt list! the hearts beside each number describe what kind of content the prompt is.

💛 fluff

❤️ smut

💙 darker content (pseudo-incest, dub-con, rough sex)

🖤 very dark content (non-con, monsterfucking)

{one❤️} {two💙} {three💛}

{four🖤} {five❤️} {six💛}

{seven🖤} {eight💙} {nine💙}

{ten💛} {eleven💙} {twelve💛}

{thirteen💛} {fourteen❤️} {fifteen🖤}

*if requesting ❤️💙or🖤, you must be off anon with an age in your bio!

i hope this can be a fun time for everyone, and i look forward to meeting you! (*^ω^*)

#bllk x reader #my hero academia x reader #tokyo revengers x reader #genshin impact x reader #I actually don’t know how to tag this sorry! #doves welcome event ✿

[jinxhallows]

𝐔𝐧𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 .

━━━━━━━━

☾ -- ᴛᴀʙʟᴇ ᴏғ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛs

prologue | chapter one | chapter two | chapter three | chapter four | chapter five | chapter six | chapter seven | chapter eight | chapter nine | chapter ten | chapter eleven | chapter twelve | chapter lucky thirteen | chapter fourteen ((you are here)) |

━━━━━━━━

ᴍʏ ᴘʀᴇᴄɪᴏᴜs ᴛᴀɢʟɪsᴛ -- @sikebishes @hamburgers101 @felix-housewife @agnes-king @exfolitae @brojustfknkillm3

☾ -- ᴡᴀɴɴᴀ ɢᴇᴛ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴀɢʟɪsᴛ? ᴄʟɪᴄᴋ ʜᴇʀᴇ

━━━━━━━━

━━━━━━━━

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ғᴏᴜʀᴛᴇᴇɴ | ᴡᴄ: 𝟺.𝟾ᴋ

━━━━━━━━

“Christophe, how do you feel, brother?” 

In the dimly lit sitting room, the two brothers engage in a heartfelt conversation. The aftermath of their recent ordeal has left them with lingering emotions and questions. Chan sits in a plush wingback chair, while his fiery-haired younger brother perches opposite him, legs crossed. 

“Honestly? A little on edge.  I feel like something’s building pressure inside of me.”  It was just them, alone.  Chan was the quickest to recover, probably due to his hybrid nature, and Felix regained a little strength.  Jisung had completely recovered after putting on his necklace. 

“Could be the curse—“ 

“Hmm hmm,” Chan disagrees, shaking his head, dismissing the notion, “I didn’t feel like this before I passed out.  Full Moon is in another 13.  We should be back from Abysmora by then.” 

“That’s ambitious Christophe.  We might not even survive this trip.” Hyunjin doesn’t want to burst the hopes of his brother, but he knows Chan pushes forward no matter what, especially when he has so much to lose now.  And Hyunjin also knows, from his past, that sometimes, you have to take a moment before you jump.   

Chan is not going to hesitate when it comes to his family. 

“And?” Chan sits up in his chair, mildly frustrated, “We weren’t meant to survive at all; and yet, here we are.”  Hyunjin, respecting his brother’s faith in their abilities, allows a moment of silence to linger. 

“I do really like your hair now; I didn’t think you’d keep the blue for so long.” The subject shifts naturally, Hyunjin’s charm weaving another conversation.  Since Hyunjin had been back, he’s been with Felix more than anyone else, though all three of the brothers share a unique bond.  Hyunjin was closest to Felix growing up, and they spent a lot of time together before Chan was considered “responsible” enough to play with them unsupervised. 

Chan’s eyes dance between Hyunjin’s gentle but fierce gaze.  He sits back.  “There were a hundred years I went blonde like Felix but—I soon came back to it.” 

Teasingly, Hyunjin responds, “You knew I’d come back.”  before admitting, “Maybe I should change mine? This hair was deemed a curse.  It still feels like it is sometimes.”  His voice softens with vulnerability, a rather rare occurrence.  

“S’not a curse brother.  You’re the warrior out of the three of us, a chariot of fire.  It’s a part of you that gives you a warmth inside no other vampire can feel.” Despite the younger brother’s initial resistance, Chan’s words strike a chord. 

“I can’t feel it.” He admits, still grappling with self-doubt. 

“No, but we do.” Chan reassures him, emphasizing the impact Hyunjin’s presence has on their family. 

Hyunjin reflects quietly, “Can fire feel its own heat?” 

“Does water know that it’s wet?” Chan shrugs with a playful smile, “Add that to life’s long list of unanswered questions.  All I know is that who you are has never been the issue, Hyunjin, it’s some of the choices you make.” 

He sits forward, dropping his leg down; his voice softening.  “The choices I’ve made have always been for us.” 

Chan reminds him, “Did I ever say different?” 

“Are you so perfect that you’ve never made a mistake, Christophe?” Hyunjin’s frustration and vulnerability intertwine. 

“Watch your temper, Hyunjin.” 

“Answer the question.” 

Chan finally sighs in exasperation, standing to his feet. “Yes, I’ve made mistakes, and a lot of them, is that the answer you’re looking for?” Their emotions now laid bare, they look at one another, waiting for the next move. 

In the dimly lit room, the atmosphere seems charged with unresolved tension as Hyunjin stays seated, his eyes following his brother Chan's towering figure a few feet away. A hint of pleading lingers in his quiet voice as he asks,  

"How did you change?" 

Chan visibly settles, feeling a surge of agitation that he can't fully explain. He knows Hyunjin has a tendency to escalate situations, but he himself still needs time to recover from their recent ordeal. Unfortunately, time is a luxury they can't afford. 

"I found something... someone worth changing for," 

Hyunjin's eyes take on a distant, reflective gaze as he stands and crosses the room to stand shoulder to shoulder with his elder sibling. His attention shifts back to Chan, his head barely turning as he offers practical advice, "You should feed soon, brother." Without waiting for a response, he quietly locks the door behind him, leaving Chan to ponder his thoughts in solitude. 

Thirteen. 

Thirteen days until the next Full Moon. 

So why, Chan thinks to himself, does he feel so wound up? The countdown only adds to the tension coiling within him. He presses his palms flat against the wall, trying to release some of the pent-up emotions, feeling like a pot about to boil over. 

"It's like whiplash," he muses to himself, thinking of you, "as quickly as I got you back, I'm in danger of losing you again."  

His brother's return has brought about profound changes, accompanied by existential questions Chan can't easily answer. Not having all the answers bothers him, but he tries to push the thoughts away, surveying the cozy sitting room with a sense of defeat. 

Their stay here was never meant to be this prolonged. Only a couple of days have passed, and already, they've faced possession attempts and Jisung's eerie connection to Purgatory. The tension between their kind and the witches of the Pavo clan has been building for generations, and the recent events only exacerbate the brewing conflict. 

Hyunjin, the chariot of fire.  Chan recalls the impulsive actions Hyunjin took in going after Edith, but somewhere deep down, he knows that his brother was right in sensing the growing threat and the need to act.   ━━━━━━━━  

“Have you tried demon blood?” 

“Demon blood’s no good, not for this lineage.” Felix leans over the long table, his index finger tracing the intricate lines from one side of a weathered map, to the other.  He reaches for the updated map they grabbed from downtown, overlaying it atop the weathered one, his eyes narrow in concentration, the tip of his tongue resting at the corner of his mouth held just slightly ajar.  Blonde side bangs fall forward as he bites into the tip of his finger with a sharp fang, placing a bloodied thumbprint onto the graveyard right outside of the inner city. 

His expression sours with a disgruntled shake of his head. “It’s no use,” he mutters with frustration before admitting, 

“I’ll have to call Jisung for this.” 

“We haven’t had to call him for a few years. Last time he almost died with us, remember? We said we'd give him a break...” Chan remarks, spinning a chair round on one leg and straddling it as he sits down. He passes a chalice of blood to his younger brother, sipping from his own as he asks, “You’re sure you felt something? I think I did too.” 

“Yeah, during my daytime death.  It stirred me, I know its uncloaked and I can feel it closeby, I just can’t figure out if it’s safe or not.” The pureblood vampire chews his lower lip as his eyes flit up to the smell of rich blood that interrupts his train of thinking.  He takes it, drinking it down as if his thirst was unquenchable. 

“Why haven’t you been feeding?  Once a week should suffice–” 

“I can’t focus on feeding when we’re this close to getting Hyunjin back,” Felix looks over at Chan with a wide grin, “What are we going to do when he’s here? God, it’s been so long–” 

Chan has to admit to himself that the idea of Hyunjin joining again thaws the hardened ice protecting the fragile soft of his heart. 

“Well, we’ll have to show him how everything works, telephones, electricity, keeping a low profile around humans, blood banks.” 

Felix laughs, “I forgot about blood banks! Can you imagine how shocked he’ll be?” 

“Hyunjin always catches onto things quickly, we’ll get him up to speed.” He closes the space between them, a firm hand cupping Felix’s shoulder.  “Hey, we’re going to find him, alright? It’s a Full Moon, I’ll go and see what I can find tonight in the graveyard.” 

“We’ve gone there so many times for nothing.” 

“Well, we’ll try a hundred more times until we figure it out,” 

Chan starts to pull his shirt over his head as he heads for the door, unbuckling his belt.  He shouts over his shoulder, “Bring me spare clothes! I’m feeling lucky!”   ━━━━━━━━

The idea tugs at him, a whispered allure, but he knows the cost it entails. It's a gamble with his own strength and vulnerability. 

The air is charged with a potent scent that envelops him, brushing against his skin like an intangible caress. He tilts his head, eyes closing in surrender to the enticing fragrance. His thoughts quicken, torn between desire and caution, as he senses the presence of powerful witch blood. It's an unfamiliar sensation, and he can't help but feel a surge of emotions bubbling beneath his surface. 

As his breath escapes in a slow exhale, his sense registering, he realizes that this connection is unlike anything he has experienced before. His once vibrant eyes now smolder with an amber hue, a sign of the inner turmoil that engulfs him. A frown creases his brow as he grapples with the intensity of this newfound link. He’s not supposed to be this sensitive to the blood of a witch. 

Jisung's blood—of that, he is certain. A familiar yet unexpected source of temptation. Curiosity and concern meld into a potent blend, and he can't resist the pull that beckons him to follow its trail. The alluring scent guides him, an invisible thread that leads him deeper into the night. 

━━━━━━━━

Hyunjin pauses, his initial plan giving way to a more calculated strategy. He approaches the repository with caution, its ancient black broken iron hinges bearing the weight of his earlier encounter with the powerful demon. Despite knowing she senses his presence, he knocks twice on the stone, a hushed but purposeful sound, tilting his head. 

Lysandra is feeding a ravenous lizard inside of a large tank on a table against the wall.  She closes the doors of it, twisting it shut with a key that she tucks into her dark hair, the silver strands peeping through the thick, interlocked tresses, and the midnight blue, currently naked to the human eye, but with enhanced senses, Hyunjin can appreciate all of it.  She turns to him, her eyes a delicate gold underneath wispy lashes. 

“Look at you,” she places a hand on her hip as her eyes glide up his figure to meet with the only eyes capable of competing with hers in regard to the feelings it evokes in others.  “Satan in a Sunday hat.” she finishes, turning back around and meddling with the plants with vines that extend down and around the tank, adding to its wild ambience.   

A faint smile graces his lips as he approaches her, his hands casually tucked in his pockets. The creature in the tank holds him captive, its iridescent scales reflecting the moon's soft glow. He watches as it moves with grace and elegance, yet an eerie allure. “What’s that supposed to mean?”   

The body is long and sinuous, and tiny, delicate tendrils extend from its head, giving the impression of an ethereal crown.  These tendrils sway gently, as if guided by an unseen breeze, lending an aura of elegance to it.  It’s movements are graceful, yet eerie, and he can’t quite put his finger on what makes it so captivating.  Lysandra notes his fascination, observing how he's drawn to the creature's ethereal presence. 

“Trouble.  Wrapped all up with a pretty bow, but trouble nonetheless, that’s what it means.”  The demon sighs, pushing the lid open.  “What are you after, Hyunjin?” she reaches in the tank, closing her hand around the supernatural reptile that disappears in a puff of black smoke around her closed fist, she looks over her arm, “What do you need?” 

He watches her pull her arm back out of the tank, when she opens her fingers, the creature pulls itself together by the glowing sweat-like droplets on her fingers and palm and it’s whole once again, scampering up her arm to her shoulder. 

He doesn’t know why it makes the corner of his lips tug up into a grin. 

He knows what he needs. 

He studies her gaze again before replying, “I need help, and you’re not only capable of it, but you can keep secrets too.  I caught Santiago channeling through a human sacrifice, and it couldn’t have gotten past you, so you must be in on it too.” 

Her eyebrow arches in a mix of intrigue and defiance as she crosses her arms, projecting an air of confidence, “First of all, I’m not ‘in’ on anything.  I am a safehouse for you, but then you’ll take your chaos with you and go, I’m not involved in any of this,” 

“That being said,” she continues, “He told me he had to get in touch with the Lee family, and being as how that’s the family he works for, I procured him a sacrifice.”   

“Why are you upset about this?” she asks, with a curious frown. 

He works for them? 

As in, he’s actively employed by them? 

For what? 

“Because the conversation was about my brother—and the pretty witch, which he mentioned by name, by the way, so the person on the other end knows her by her real name.  It must be Minho then—” 

“The elite families are very particular, he’s probably giving updates, they want quick results.  You can’t reach a demon that’s ranked above you long distance without a sacrifice.  But I don’t understand, Hyunjin–” she shakes her head, “Why do you need my help?” 

“Because,” 

“I want to contact my mother.” 

━━━━━━━━

“When you do this, do you feel weaker? Like can you feel your power going away?” 

“Mm, not in a way that’s bad? I feel like there’s so much, when we do this, I don’t feel much different.” Jisung's fingers tap rhythmically against the wooden floor as he sits with you resting in his lap, your head cradled gently. His touch is comforting, and you feel the warmth spreading through your body as you sip on the conjure-rich blood from his wounds. The power flowing into you is both invigorating and oddly familiar, as if it has always been a part of you. 

Outside the room, Chan listens intently to your conversation. A tingling heat surges through him, and he can't help but feel drawn to the door, torn between joining you and leaving the two of you alone. 

The question lingers in the air like a gentle whisper, "Have you decided to become a vampire yet?" Jisung's eyes meet yours, and in their depths, you see a fleeting sadness shadowing his dark brown gaze. "I'm just not sure yet," he replies, brushing the topic aside with a soft chuckle, his thoughts momentarily shifting to your well-being as he rests his other palm against the bottom curve of your stomach. “How is she doing?” 

“She’s been quiet lately, she gets real antsy around Chan though, I can tell the further I get.” 

She– 

She?! 

He swiftly retreats from the room, seeking solace under the moon's gentle glow, trying to process this newfound revelation. His thoughts swirl chaotically, and for a moment, he feels the wild impulses that often accompany his wolf form. He fights to regain control, forcing himself to breathe as a mortal, to push air flow throughout his body for the sake of self-soothing. But the emotions are relentless, a storm raging within him. If his heart could beat, it would be pumping out of his chest, thumping against his ribcage.   

How long had you known? How did Jisung know? Did you tell him? Did he tell you? Why were you two keeping this from him? 

Calm…down… 

He can feel his thoughts spacing out unusually far, something that usually only happens when he’s a wolf.  The combination of shock, joy and anger were all too distressing to tolerate at the same time. 

calm…. 

He grips the sides of his hair, closing his eyes tight, trying to resist the feeling of thoughts being forced through his skull. He’s losing control, but he can’t, not like this, not yet, it’s not time- 

down… 

He fumbles with the buttons of his pants, his trembling hands betraying the urgency of his actions. As the moon's silvery light bathes him, memories of comfort associated with its glow flicker through his mind, but now, it ignites a powerful impetus, urging him to embrace his wolf form. 

With determination, he peels off his shirt, his breath hitching in a moment of hesitation. The moon's radiant gaze seems to pierce his soul, pushing him further into the depths of his emotions. A surge of raw vulnerability courses through him, and he discards his last remnants of human attire, baring himself to the night. 

On his knees now, Chan braces himself for the transformation he knows so well. A familiar wave of nausea washes over him as he lets go and his body starts to reshape itself. Bones crack and shift, the painful metamorphosis weaving through his form. He grapples with the agony, biting down on his cries, determined to execute the shift with stealth and control. 

The transformation advances, an intricate chain reaction of snapping and reforming that courses through his limbs. His body collapses under the intensity of the process, a scream of pain struggling to escape from his clenched teeth. The agony doubles, shattering every fiber of his being, yet he endures, knowing the freedom that awaits him once this harrowing transition is complete. 

Finally, the pain subsides, and Chan stands, reborn in his majestic wolf form. A thick, black muzzle replaces his human features, and his amber eyes gleam with a primal intensity against the backdrop of ebony fur. Although the transformation is over, his heart races, the wolf blood flowing enough to start his formerly undead circulatory system, now with the exhilaration of the newfound power coursing through him. 

In a burst of energy, he darts into the woods, powerful hind legs propelling him forward. The wind rushes through his fur, the sensation electrifying. With each stride, the world around him comes alive, smells and sounds lodging into his senses all at once. He feels one with the night, liberated from the confines of his human self. 

As he runs through the wilderness, the full moon above, he senses a profound connection to nature, to his instincts, and to you—the mother of his child. 

━━━━━━━━

"Santiago, I’ve got a favor to ask of you.” 

He turns around to greet the source of the voice, but when he spots Hyunjin beside her, his smile falters a little. “What’s up?” 

Seated at the table, Lysandra crosses over gracefully, and Hyunjin pulls out the chair for her, his hand resting protectively on the back. "I need to contact a tough-to-reach vampire on the other side," she says. 

Santiago's confusion is evident, and he eyes Lysandra warily. "If you need me, they must be hard to find and likely in Hell," he remarks, looking up at Hyunjin as if searching for answers. 

Unfazed, Hyunjin takes his place beside Lysandra, a determined glint in his eyes. "It’s my mother," he reveals, and the realization dawns on Santiago. 

"You’re two thousand years old, no? How would I—do you even have her remains?" Santiago inquires, struggling to comprehend. 

"No, but her blood runs through my veins," Hyunjin responds, leaning forward with unwavering focus. In a bold gesture, he presents his forearm, producing a knife stained with fresh blood in the opposite hand. “You’re the operator,” he presses the tip of the knife into his wrist as his eyes flit up, 

“Connect me.” 

Hyunjin grits his teeth, his upper lip and nose twitching as he draws a vertical line down his arm, effortlessly slicing through his own thin skin, blood spilling out and over the table, dripping and soaking into the wooden flooring. It’s a mess, but its effective, as Santiago gives a frustrated hiss, reluctantly cupping his hands together to scoop up the thick, red liquid. He brings it to his lips, whispers an incantation into it before smearing it across the table. 

“Have you done this lately?” Santiago asks Lysandra as he cuts an inverted pentagram into his palm before passing her the sharp tool. 

She follows suit, “It's been a few hundred years. Don’t really have an archdemon on tap to get me down that far, or a reason to visit. Most down there are killing for a trip back up.” Her hand reaches across the table to his and their blood mingles and locks their hands together. Hyunjin watches cautiously, his arm already healed up by the time the two demons join forces. 

White steam rises from the blood, but nothing materializes. Hyunjin grips the table's sides, nails digging into the wood. 

"Mother—" he starts, trying to contact her through the blood, but he hears only faint echoes. Panic sets in, and he searches for the knife to spill more blood, desperate to extend their connection.  

But his mother's image appears before him, gently warning him not to proceed. 

“Mother, it's me, can you hear me? Are you there?” He can feel his desperation building as he looks wildly around at the smear, trying to contain himself. “Please, its me, its-” 

“My Hyunjin, my sweet boy, my little phoenix.” 

Tears stream down his face as he drops the knife, the clatter lost to his ears. He clings to the table's edges, his emotions overwhelming him. 

“I-It’s me, yes mother, its me.” 

As the blood begins to boil around the edges and evaporate, he can tell his time in this conversation is limited. 

“I, I miss you so much, you don’t understand, I need you, right now. I don’t know anything anymore, I’m lost.” 

“My Hyunjin, my sweet boy, my little phoenix.” 

The words repeat, but they’re a little muffled. It sounds a bit distanced. 

"I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I didn’t kill Edith when I had the chance," he confesses, his voice choked with regret. 

His mother’s voice, soft and soothing, fills the room. “Because you are merciful, Hyunjin.”    “Then why do I want to hurt everyone?” 

The blood sizzles, the frame getting smaller, still. 

“You fear your darkness, but it will never leave you. You cannot change what you don’t accept as your reality.  Bridges will open to connect us again, to connect you to who you really are. But not if you don’t face it.” 

Hyunjin struggles to understand amidst the fading connection. He can’t make sense of it, not in this moment as he’s frantic about the blood now obscuring the vague image of her; he was only able to see her for nearly a minute that felt like both a millisecond and a thousand years.  

"I love you," he sniffs, "We all do, we miss you," he adds, pouring his heart out.  

His mother's final words seem almost underwater, slipping away from him like a fleeting dream. 

“My little wolf, my baby sun, and my Hyunjin, my sweet misunderstood little boy, my little phoenix.” 

And with that, the connection fades, leaving Hyunjin standing there, his heart heavy with the weight of unanswered questions and a yearning for the love and guidance of the mother he lost so long ago. Tears have dried on his face, his body weak from the emotionally charged encounter. Slowly, he brings his hand up to his nose, wiping away the blood that began trickling down from his left nostril. 

"Santiago, if you tell my brothers about this, we can have a discussion about you referencing y/n and Christophe in your conversations with Minho," Hyunjin says firmly, trying to regain his composure. 

"What? What are you even talking about?" Santiago replies, clearly confused by the sudden change in topic, but also trying to gauge whether or not Hyunjin was bluffing.

Breaking from his stupor, Hyunjin turns to face Lysandra, cupping her face gently between his trembling palms. His blue eyes are still shiny with the onset of fresh tears, and he sniffs, his gaze locked onto hers with a mixture of gratitude and vulnerability. 

"Thank you," he whispers, his voice raw with emotion. 

In response, Lysandra pulls him into a warm and comforting embrace. She can sense the turmoil within him, even though she may not fully comprehend the depths of his past and the complexity of his relationship with his mother. What she knows for sure is that Hyunjin has been carrying a heavy burden, and he desperately needed this connection with his mother, no matter how fleeting. 

Her hands rest gently on his shoulders as she steps back, her own eyes becoming watery as she gazes at him. Without a second thought, fueled by her own empathy and the deepening bond between them, she presses her lips against his, the kiss tender and delicate at first. 

As the seconds pass, passion ignites between them, and the kiss deepens into something more intense and profound. Their bodies draw closer together, lost in the moment of emotional release and connection. Their lips move in a beautiful dance of shared emotions, communicating a thousand unspoken words. 

Hyunjin's arms wrap around Lysandra, pulling her closer, as if afraid to let go. Her fingers gently tangle in his hair, and she kisses him with a tenderness that mirrors the healing touch he received from his mother's words. Time seems to stand still, and in that moment, they find solace in each other's presence, two souls entwined in a passionate embrace. 

As the kiss finally breaks, they pull back slowly, their foreheads resting against each other's. Their breathing is ragged, and the intensity of the moment lingers in the air. There's an unspoken understanding between them, a newfound closeness forged in the depth of that shared connection with Hyunjin's mother. 

In that intimate moment, they both realize that this encounter has woven a thread between them, binding their hearts together in a way neither of them could have anticipated. And as they gaze into each other's eyes, a sense of serenity washes over them, as if they have found in each other a sanctuary of comfort and understanding, a place where their shared pain can be healed. 

━━━━━━━━

    You and Jisung complete the feeding, cleansing yourselves afterward, and ascend the stairs to the main sitting room, eager to catch up with Chan and discuss the way forward. The room, however, lies vacant. At first, it doesn't strike you as peculiar; perhaps he's resting. You decide to check the bedroom where you both slept the previous day, only to find it empty as well. 

"Looking for someone?" Santiago's voice rings out nearby. You step outside the room, gently closing the door behind you. 

"Have you seen Chan?" 

"No, not lately." 

A sense of unease begins to brew, causing you to avert your gaze and try to walk past Santiago. Yet, he stops you, and his pleading eyes demand attention. "Come on, is it going to be like this the entire time? Does it have to be like this?" 

You sigh, rubbing the side of your arm. "This is a transaction, Santiago." 

"What we had wasn't." 

"What do you want me to say?" 

"You forgive me, you hate me, anything, shit, this isn't exactly easy for me either!" His voice breaks, revealing the pain he's grappling with. "Seeing you with another man, growing a family with him, I'm just...we are adults, can we talk like adults?" 

For a fleeting moment, a softness surfaces within you, and your shoulders relax slightly. "Are you going to tell me why you left?" 

His answer becomes evident as he avoids your gaze. 

"Then there's nothing else to say, Santiago." 

As you glance around for a distraction, you notice Felix emerging from his room, carrying a few books. You seize the opportunity and rush down the hall to him, grateful for any reason to avoid your ex for another moment. 

"Felix! Have you seen Chan?" 

He shakes his head, puzzled. "I thought he was with you? I was actually coming out to talk to him about our next destination." 

Concern starts to gnaw at you. "I've searched everywhere, and he's nowhere to be found. He wouldn't just run off without letting someone know...right?" 

Felix grimaces, "It wouldn't be the first time." 

"But up here, in the Sundered Range? I mean, maybe Hyunjin knows?" 

Felix raises a hand to pause the conversation, taking a deep breath. His gaze penetrates the room's walls, as though he can see right through to the wilderness beyond. "He's in his wolf form. Why would he transform now, so suddenly?" 

Panic begins to well up inside you, your stomach doing flips at the thought of more trouble, barely having recovered from the last ordeal. "Do you think he did it against his will?" 

His brows furrow in deep contemplation. "There's only one way to find out." 

"Hyunjin and I will have to catch him." 

━━━━━━━━

ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴅɪᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ?

next part -> click here

#uninvited #unhinged #stray kids fanfic #skz fic #skz au #stray kids au #bangchan au #bangchan x reader #bang chan x reader #felix fic #christopher bang fic #jisung fic #han jisung au #felix x reader #vampire felix #vampire skz #wolf bangchan #hybrid chan #hyunjin au #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin vampire #hyunjin fanfic #hyunjin fic #bang chan fanfic #lee felix fic #felix fanfiction #skz #skz x reader #christopher bang #bangchan

[lovebillyhargrove]

Harringrove seasons AU

***

August is running out. It is the time when nights have already started getting perceptibly colder, but days are still so heartbreakingly warm, you don't wanna let go.

Like Steve, who doesn't want to let go of Billy.

Or Billy, who wants to hold on to Steve.

Who desperately wishes to add just a couple of more days to August. Make it thirty-three. Or thirty-five.

At least.

***

One evening Steve sets off to look for Billy, because he hasn't seen him in the last three days. When he asks the magpies if they know where the summer is, they tell him he's wandering around the woods with a big basket searching for something and talking to himself like a madman.

"The summer's gone cuckoo!" - they burst out into chatter and laughter, but Steve isn't up for having fun.

Only close to midnight does he finally find Billy.

The warm simmering light and the sweet smell of burning pine wood have led him on the right path.

Steve sees Billy in the thick of the forest, on a small clearing, surrounded by tall mighty oak trees, so tall that their tops get lost in the dark starry sky above. Stars in August are witchy, it is common knowledge. They are so distant, so sparkly and cold, and they are watching you.

August stars are enchanted just like everything else around. The night is cool and damp, and there is dense fog laying heavy in milky swirls above and around the swamp nearby. Under every leaf there lives a mystery, a story, a creature. Behind one single cloud hides the silver moon, waiting to flood all with its crisp eerie shine.

The stars are twinkling bright, so magically bright, and the chilly, hocus scented air fills the head of a midnight wanderer with clarity and vigor, and anticipation of a miracle.

Steve is trying to be as quiet as possible, not to disturb.

Everything around is immersed in sleepy calm, and only the frogs' drowsy ribbit-ribbitting and distant hooting of a night bird fill the deep silence. The usual night orchestra.

As he is making his way towards Billy, there's a falling star, shooting right above the clearing, and Steve makes a wish - to always find summer.

Billy is busy.

Steve sees a big fire, sparks flying up towards the invisible tree crowns, and Billy's focused face lightened by the glow.

He is constantly stirring something gurgling and boiling in a huge cauldron, muttering under his breath

"Seven red fly agarics, nine orange ones .. three yellow .. thirteen russules, each a different colour .. eight orange chanterelle mushrooms of different sizes .."

With one hand he stirs whatever is brewing in the cauldron, and in the other he holds a thread with dry and semi-dry mushrooms strung on it. From time to time, he stops stirring and plucks the mushrooms from the thread, counting.

"Eleven brown hay mushrooms, one birch chaga, the size of a palm .. where the hell is this chaga .. ??" - he stops stirring and pokes around in the basket standing nearby. - "Alright. Found it. Come here, don't fight it .. seventeen honey fungi .. three aspen mushrooms .. ugh, you are such beauties .. All of you."

Billy looks like a witch. Too bad he's not wearing a spiked black hat and a black cloak

Stirring, mixing that magic

"Wait a second, did I put twelve ink mushrooms .. ? Yes, yes, I did. Ten violet webcaps .. and one whole circle of fairy-ring mushrooms."

"Oh, I forgot you buddy .. one grey spotted amantia, here you go .."

"Okay now for the more serious stuff."

Billy grunts and goes digging in the basket again.

"One satan's bolete .. A set of devil's fingers .. spooky .. And, finally, one pale grebe."

Steve steps out into the clearing

"Oh, do you mean a death angel?"

Billy stops mixing whatever there is in the cauldron and looks up.

"You startled me, pretty boy. And yes, it's the same one, different names."

Steve is still watching Billy in bewilderment

"What on earth are you doing?"

"I'm making a potion. Can't you see?" He answers seriously.

"A potion?" Steve is amused.

"An old owl told me. Who lives in the hollow of a hundred-year-old elm tree, down by the river."

"What is the potion for?"

"For .. making it last a little longer. Stalling the time. See, I don't want to go yet. I want to stay, just a bit more .. It's going to give me the power to do that."

"Oh. But .. Billy, this old owl is so old, she has dementia. I wouldn't trust her on anything she says."

"Well, I've got no other choice."

Steve is amused but he also knows that he has to soothe Billy's unnecessary wilful wanting, once again.

"When will it be ready?"

"In the morning. I should drink it when the first sun ray breaks the sky."

Steve sits near the fire and Billy joins him after some time. The fire is getting duller, the potion stops gurgling and is beginning to settle.

Billy is the first to slide into sleep near the dying flames, and Steve is gazing at the bright live coals, listening to night sounds and Billy's even breath, until his own eyelids become heavy and eventually fall.

In the morning, Steve is woken up by Billy's upset voice:

"No, no! I'm two hours late! .. The sun is already high in the sky."

He is pacing around the grey ashes, looking at the sky and fiddling with his necklace

"No, oh no ..! That's all your fault, autumn. I always sleep longer when I'm with you. I can't drink it now. Do you know how long I've searched for these?? How many woods I have wandered through?"

In a swift fit of anger Billy kicks the cauldron. It falls and tips over. Steve's still on the ground, watching the thick substance pour out of it on a patch of green moss.

"I am sorry, Billy, truly. But .. I am of the opinion that you shouldn't have drunk it anyways."

Billy's looking at the spilled potion.

"Baby. You are such a baby sometimes, Billy."

"I'm just sad. So much work for nothing." - Billy sighs and pouts a little.

"It is only .. really, it is only less than half a year. We will meet so soon, in the northern hemisphere. Aren't you excited?"

Billy is shaking his head, slowly and gloomily.

"I don't wanna leave."

Steve gets up, comes close and gently traces his fingers down Billy's arm.

"You are not leaving just yet. We still have time. We have all the time in the world. But when you do go, think of the moment we will meet again. Because it will happen, it is the way the world works."

They are standing amidst the ever-living nature.

"I need to bring back the pot and the basket. I borrowed them from a barn in the village."

"I will help you."

***

A couple of days later, on the very last August day, Steve takes Billy to the same clearing and shows him the prettiest gemstone of the most amazing colour, sparkling under the rays of soft morning sunshine, crystallized in the shape of a heart. There's moss and some beautiful exotic flowers growing around it.

"It is so pretty, but I am glad you didn't drink the potion."

"I wonder if it's going to stay here till next season."

"Let's hide it."

Steve takes the gemstone, it's rather big and heavy, and carries it to a hollowed out log near the swamp.

"We can come back next year and see if it is still here. It will be our secret."

August and September are my absolute favourite months, and I'm also stuck on the idea of summer and autumn not wanting to part. Billy especially is having a hard time.

Thank you @akioukun ✨💖 for the 💫 magical au

#harringrove #harringrove seasons au #billy x steve #summer billy x autumn steve #harringrove fic

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Beyond the Blood Tie - Chapter Thirty.

Huge thanks to all of those offering their commentary on this. You’re so wonderful to me! :)

Previous Chapters - One  Two, Part One Part Two  Three  Four  Five  Six  Seven  Eight  Nine  Ten  Eleven  Twelve  Thirteen  Fourteen  Fifteen  Sixteen  Seventeen  Eighteen  Nineteen  Twenty  Twenty One  Twenty Two  Twenty Three  Twenty Four  Twenty Five  Twenty Six  Twenty Seven  Twenty Eight  Twenty Nine

Words - 4,917

Tag list - In the comments. Please DM to be added/removed

Warnings - 18+ content throughout. Minors DNI!

Edie's POV

"So there I was, and I could see the manhole cover moving, and I knew what was underneath it. I got down low on my stomach, so my gun would be right at the right level to get it right between its eyes, and then a fucking car drove straight over the manhole and smashed its head off just before I was about to shoot it! That's the closest I got to any of 'em, and I was just nineteen years old so this was when most of them had been eliminated by you guys and the military," Vic explains to Angel, while I sit back and laugh along with Ahmed at the story, who joined us unexpectedly about a half our ago. He was out already but not having a particularly good evening after meeting an old girlfriend from school, who he described as dull as dishwater these days, so he made his excuses and called me to see where I was at.

"See when I joined up, there were very few of them left and most of them were confined to the sewer systems. That's something I'll never forget, at my fucking height having to bend almost double to navigate my way through the Vegas sewers with a rifle, popping off any the reanimated who got in my way. You know, I heard there's still some alive, when I was still with the military. Apparently, they had a few locked up in labs doing tests on them to find out exactly what the D11X virus did to them, how it was possible for them to die yet walk and have a compulsion to eat other people as well as anything else they could take sustenance from," Ahmed adds to the conversation. Being the youngest here, and still just a child when the last of the reanimated were killed off (I've never seen one, and by the time I was born they were all driven underground, living off rats) I'm mostly sitting here nodding. I then supress a giggle when it occurs to me that I'm the girlfriend of the oldest sat here.

"I'm going to leave you guys to it for a minute and head to get another round," I quickly interject, just before Angel is about to speak, excusing myself and heading back indoors. It's fairly busy in here tonight, and because of which I have to wait for a while to be served, but when the people thin out the girl with the blue black hair and the beautiful rosy cheeks behind the bar dashes over to me.

"Two draught beers and a double bourbon on the rocks please," I recite, watching her fetch two beer glasses and put them under the taps before switching them on, picking up the glasses again and tilting them at an angle. There's definitely an art to pouring a beer right from the tap. Donny, the guy who owns our usual hangout let me and Max try one time. Oh boy, the mess we made. Foam everywhere, with a drunken Max and I flicking it at each other.

"Do you mind if I ask, that guy with the short, black hair, are you with him?" she asks, looking a little nervous and wincing slightly.

"Yes, he's my boyfriend," I reply with a smile to indicate she's nothing to feel nervous about. She can look and admire; she just can't have.

"Ahhh, damnit, he's hot. I like vampires too, they're just…" she says, trailing off.

"They're a better fuck than humans are?" I suggest, after leaning in closer to her over the bar.

"Hell yeah.” We share knowing laughter as she hands me the beers before turning to sort my drink.

"Twenty-two dollars darlin', and you enjoy him for me too, you hear me?" she says with a wink as I hand her the right money.

"Oh, you can bet on that!" I wink, picking up the drinks and heading back to the outside area.

"Hey honey, don't be so fast to leave, you have the kind of ass I'd like to get to know," the guy who was standing next to me at the bar says as I walk past, my feet stopping when I feel him touch my butt.

"You get that one for free because I have my hands full. Try it again and you'll be wearing these drinks, shortly before I punch your fucking teeth out. I'm a punisher, don't fuck with me 'honey'," I spit at him, putting extra sarcastic emphasis on my last word to him before I turn and head back outside without further incident.

"Why are you angry?" Angel asks as soon as I sit down opposite him again, reaching for my hand and then kissing my palm.

"Just some jerk giving me the come on is all, nothing to worry about," I say dismissively, feeling a flare of anger rise within him only to settle again quickly. I like how I can physically feel him trusting my word. It's a lovely bond we have with each other, through our blood tie. It makes us a lot closer than your average human/human relationship. He then seems to become less interested in the conversation and more interested in staring at me. After eyeing me for a time, smiling with a certain look in his eyes, he pulls me around to his side of the table, and onto his lap.

That's the thing with Angel; he has no boundaries with public displays of affection. If he wants to drag me onto his lap and begin kissing my neck and whispering both loving and very sexual things to me then that's just what he's going to do. I just sit and giggle, while Vic gives me a surprised and slightly shocked look. When him and Ahmed both then look at each other before getting up at the same time and moving to the next table down, it causes me to begin laughing much more loudly. It's just a shame it has to be ruined when I step inside to go to the bathroom a half hour later.

"So now you've got your hands free, you can grab my ass back when I grab yours. How about it, pretty girl?" the same creep from earlier offers, blocking my way.

"Do you not fucking listen? What are you on, a deliberate mission to piss me off or something?" I fume, folding my arms.

"No, I just want me a piece of what you've got," he shrugs, suddenly making a grab for me.

"You fucking dare! Don't you fucking touch me!" I yell, pushing him away, Angel arriving at my side and then reaching out and pulling the guy back. Oh, god. I know what this is, the suspicion going off in my head like an alarm.

"Did you just try to touch her? I don't take kindly to that, human pieces of shit like you laying their hands on my girl," he snarls at him, while the human just looks defiant. Okay, Angel, you need to see this for what it possibly is.

"Put him down, you know you can't hit him. You know why too," I whisper quietly while he continues to hold the man by his throat and growl at him. Three seconds later and he drops him, staring at him dangerously as he fights for breath again, and then begins to laugh.

"Ain't even gonna give me a slap for it. You fucking pussy ass dead man," he taunts him with, riling him up hugely while I put myself between them, staring at Angel pleadingly as I grasp his face in my hands. “Don’t do it.”

"He might not slap you down, but I sure as fuck will," I hear the voice of Ahmed come from behind us, his huge form coming past at speed, grabbing the guy and literally throwing him over his shoulder with one arm and marching him straight outside. When he returns moments later, he's wiping blood from his knuckles.

"I broke his nose on your behalf," he tells Angel, cracking his blood knuckles.

"Thank you," he nods, doing a very un-vampire thing and shaking hands with Ahmed.

"If he decides to report you, your ass is getting disciplined and fined, you know," I warn, giving him a hug in thanks. It's not every day my friend here breaks someone's nose in defence of my honour.

"It was worth it, because I managed to slide his wallet out of his pocket and get this before I dropped him and his wallet back on the floor and punched him. I followed Angel in, but your back was to me, and I heard you telling him not to go for that dude, and I figured why pretty quickly, the discrediting Ursula business," Ahmed replies, handing the driving license card to Angel, who takes it from him with a look of mild surprise.

"I'd planned to follow him, but this is even better. I can give this to Ursula and she can have him watched. Good thinking, big man." Angel praises, before they turn and head back outside and I finally get to go to the bathroom. After I'm done, I head back out, all of us deciding not to tell Vic what went down inside. He's none the wiser anyway, being lost in conversation about boxing with a guy a table over from ours. It'd be pointless to upset him. Plus, it means he'd be another person we'd have to involve in all of this, and as it is Ursula wants to keep as many of us out of it as she can. We (Angel, EZ and I) still don't even know exactly what she's doing to try and prove her innocence and get to the bottom of Elias's little scheme, so we have to keep everything on the down low.

Our night comes to an end at 1am, when Vic informs us all he's too old to be out drinking that late any longer, so after picking up a bottle of bourbon for Ahmed and I to share, we head back to Angel's place, ready to tell Ursula about what happened tonight. Except when we all arrive, it would seem the lady herself has her attention distracted from the minute her eyes land upon my buddy.

"Who are you, you beautiful creature?" She asks, arriving right in front of him with a look on her face that shows her interest loud and clear.

"Ahmed Khamir, and you must be Ursula. Wow, Angel didn't tell me you were such a fucking knock out, damn," he says approvingly, taking her hand and kissing it while Ursula smiles in an almost bashful way.

"You're of Arab blood. I like that, perhaps more than I should," she confesses, her eyes not leaving his. Do I sense an atmosphere building here?

"Because you're married?" he inquires.

She shakes her head. Oooh, she even did a little hair swish. Get it, girl! "No, my husband and I are not monogamous. It is because I have never, ever been able to resist a good looking Arab, and you are definitely just that.”

"Pardon me, but before you get too involved in tripping over your tongues, Ursula I have to speak with you for a moment," Angel interjects with, trying not to sound as amused by this as he actually is. I can tell he's dying to laugh at how utterly enamoured his creator is with my friend so quickly. "Let's just say you'll have another reason to like this guy when you hear what I have to tell you." Ursula looks at him curiously before seeing us through to her sitting room, still hardly able to tear her eyes away from Ahmed. I think I know what she'll be doing later. My friend, by the look of things.

Angel's POV

"Well my boy, you were right. I do like him even more now I see just how quick witted he is. Ahmed, I thank you greatly for this. This is perhaps the first concrete lead I might have over which vampires are involved in all of this on Elias's behalf. I can now have eyes put upon this human, to identify any of my kind coming to converse with him," Ursula explains, while looking down at the card license in her hand.

"You're welcome, and could I trouble you for a couple of glasses so Edie and I can get stuck into this?" Ahmed replies, putting down the bottle of bourbon on the table.

"Of course, just one moment," she replies before disappearing momentarily, returning in a couple of seconds with two glasses. As it turns out, the conversation had is mainly between Ursula and Ahmed, who it doesn't take a genius to work out will be naked together at some point before the morning arrives, by the way they're acting around each other. In light of this, Edie and I just sit and talk quietly together, before leaving them to it. They don't even notice us leave. Just as we're about to head upstairs I notice Charles arrive, my wolves running to the front door, barking and wagging their tails happily, gratified when the vampire himself walks through and bends to pet them warmly.

"Stop spoiling them," I say with an eye roll when he pulls out two cookies from his pocket and gives them one each.

"The human guests we had in from the USAC food and drink division for a meeting over the introduction of Synthiblood onto the market didn't eat them with their coffees, so I thought it a shame they go to waste when these two would appreciate them," he replies as he grabs Thor's tail and gives it a shake, making my big wolf spin around and growl at him, yapping excitedly as Charles teases him with his hand before ruffling his ears. "Have you both had a pleasant evening?" he then goes on to ask us politely. I inform him we did before the incident with someone trying to grab a handful of Edie, and then what followed it.

"Well, he could very well be some random pervert, but it was quick thinking on Ahmed's part just in case he was there for a reason, to cause trouble and throw a bad light on Angel and ultimately Ursula too. Yes, I shall thank him personally once my wife is finished with him. I knew she'd want to play with him as soon as I met him." he replies, sounding amused. Of course, he knows Ahmed is here, even if he couldn't hear him, he'd smell him. To us vampires, all of you humans have a unique smell we can detect to only come from you. Edie and I head upstairs after our brief chat with Charles, where she takes the bourbon she decanted into a plain decorative bottle Ursula lent her to share out the drink between her and Ahmed, and pours herself another glass before she heads to the window and sits herself on the end of the couch to have a cigarette.

"I'm sorry," I suddenly find myself telling her.

"Whatever for, my gorgeous vampire?" she asks me with a slight note of concern in her voice, reaching for my hand after I've walked over to her.

"For the fact that since you met me, I've brought you little more than a fucking lot of trouble. For the way I was when we first met to what we now face, becoming involved in all of this mess with Ursula. That's what I'm sorry for," I state, moving her so I can sit on the arm of the couch and perch her on my lap.

"You've also brought me the most beautiful, amazing love I've ever known, and anything I have to go through for that is fine by me. You've nothing to be sorry for, none of this is your fault," she reassures me, taking another drag on her cigarette.

"I just hope the arrival of Constance will prove of some use in getting to the bottom of all this," I sigh, moving her hair from her shoulder to rest my chin against it, kissing the side of her neck.

She leans into me, stroking my forearm. "Have you ever met her before, Constance?"  

"No, I haven't. She lived down in Texas briefly for about twenty five years after the disaster before she left, and she's been in France ever since with her youngest offspring, who'll be coming with her," I say, adding a little 'no!' for Icarus, who is trying to pull one of my socks off my foot. That was his favourite trick to do as a cub, and not much has changed since. Another thing I blame Charles for, since he taught him to do it by shouting 'socks!' and pointing at his feet before Icarus would run up and pull each of them off, but then rag them around like toys. I lost count of how many pairs of socks we all collectively lost to that wolf.

"Are you looking forward to meeting her?" She then asks, taking a sip of her drink.

“I guess.” I’m not that much of a fan of Constance, being that she abandoned Ursula so early into her vampirism. “I am looking forward to the fact she'll more than likely get to the bottom of this mess. Anyway, I don't want to talk about Ursula's creator any longer. In fact, I don't want to talk at all.” She giggles filthily when I reach to begin squeezing her tits, softly biting her neck.

I pick her up and carry her over to the bed to put her down in the middle, kissing the side of her neck as my hands wander all over her body, traveling across every fabric covered curve before I use them to remove those clothes. The feeling of her hands moving under my t shirt and stroking my abs with her fingernails makes a low rumble of a moan emanate from somewhere deep in my throat, her touch as potently erotic as ever, and she doesn't even need to touch me in an sexual place. Edie can stroke my hand and I'll feel aroused, simply because she's the one doing it.

As soon as she's bare to her waist, I begin running my fingers up and down her arms and sides, all the while my mouth moving to kiss and lick at each of her tits, paying special attention to her nipples until they're hard as bullets against my tongue. Her body quakes with little judders as she reacts to my touch, her legs winding around me as my hands travel under her body to grip her ass momentarily, before I slide them up and down her thighs, reuniting my mouth with hers. I then move to sit up and pull the rest of her clothes off, grabbing her just below the knee and pulling her down the bed a little before turning her over onto her front, and kissing my way back up her body from her legs to her shoulders. Running my hand through her hair, I take a handful at the roots and pull her head sharply to the side which causes her to gasp, that gasp turning into a slightly whimpered moan when my fangs bite into her neck. I use my free hand to run over her gorgeous skin as I feed, kneading each of her ass cheeks before my fingers slip between her legs and push into her wet warmth.

I feel the inner muscles grip onto my middle and fourth finger, her moans soft, again my actions forcing a considerably louder noise to exit her mouth when I bite down onto one of her gorgeous ass cheeks, and then quickly move beneath her to begin licking her clit while my fingers remain deep inside her. I work her to the point of no return quickly, wanting to feel her come undone at the moment I intend to plunge my cock into her as deeply as my fingers are burrowed currently. That point arrives just seconds later, Edie's gasps and shouts in exclamation only becoming louder when she feels me move to sink every last inch into her. I pause for only a moment to feel her wet heat fluttering around me before fucking her senseless for the next three hours. I'm at my happiest when sexually entwined with her.

"I need a drink," she croaks once we’re done, still out of breath as she rests her forehead to my chest. I've never known another human woman with the leg strength able to last on top for quite as long as my beloved. She's been riding me for the last hour, and now she's all shaky and very sweaty. Gently moving her onto her back, I shoot out of bed and return with her booze, but she shakes her head when I put it down on the nightstand.

"I need juice, could you go fetch the bottle from the fridge please? I'm too sore to move still," she laughs.  

"Of course, I will. Be right back." Kissing her forehead, I throw my jeans back on and zoom out of there, arriving in the kitchen and grabbing the juice from the fridge, turning to see a shirtless Ahmed standing in the open kitchen doorway, smoking a cigarette. I'm too busy laughing at the state of his back to leave immediately, putting the juice bottle down on the table and laughing even more when he turns around with a raised eyebrow, and I see puncture wounds to his neck and shoulders, and blood still glinting in his black chest hair. Damn. Mama got herself some.

"Needless to say, you've enjoyed yourself," I exclaim through my laughter. I could have heard it for myself, or even felt as much through Ursula's emotions, but we vampires can shut off that connection and tune out to any noise we don't want to hear. I was busy myself at the time though, of course.

"I'd ask the same of you, but I know your answer matches mine, bro," he replies, laughing a little.

I smile smugly at that. “Hell yeah, I did. Oh, watch your head in approximately five minutes, that's when the shutters will automatically drop over the door.”

“Appreciated, man.” he smiles, before making a beckoning motion with his hand, pointing outside. "There's a vampire just around the corner from here, but I guess you knew that, huh?"

"Yes, I know," I confirm.

"Have they been following us since we left the bar?"

"Yeah, but I didn't want to say anything. You feel our presence a lot more strongly than anyone else I've ever met, Edie and Aileen included. You have some exceedingly sharpened senses. You'd make a damn good vampire, you know." I leave him with, moving within a blink back upstairs. Who the fuck knows who's following us now, though? Vampires sent by Elias or the vigilantes against the TVM, or the TVM themselves. It could be any of those options. I'm getting sick of this, being followed, having trouble turning up on the doorstep and dead bodies being unearthed in the back yard. Elias needs to make his move and try his best hand or stop with the games and back the fuck off. Either way, he won't win. Ursula is too smart.

"Thank you," Edie tells me as I pass her the juice, dropping my jeans and then getting back into bed with her, lighting a few candles melted onto the nightstand as the blinds come down, shutting out the dawn. "So, you haven't told me yet. What do you think of Vic?" she then asks, after sipping her juice and putting the bottle down on the nightstand.

"He didn't irritate me at all, which is quite exceptional for humans, but then again the people you keep close to you aren't overly annoying to us vampires. I thought he was quite a remarkable man, and he obviously cares for you a hell of a lot. I enjoyed listening to his stories of his days as a boxer, and everything he told me about you growing up too. It was nice to hear of your life back then from someone other than you. He's a good guy," I say, feeling drowsier by the moment since the sun is coming up.

She beams brightly, moving to cuddle against me. "I'm glad, because I think he liked you a lot too, and you should take that as a compliment since Vic is wary of vampires. Anyway, your beautiful eyes are growing heavy, time for sleep. I love you.”

"I love you too." Wrapping her in my arms, I gladly close my eyes, sleep taking over. When I wake up again, I find Edie is gone, but there is a note in the space she once occupied. It says she's gone for a run with my wolves and she'll be back by about 6pm, and with that I get up, shower and dress before quickly heading out to procure a feed (since my usual food source is off running) and then return home to sit out in the back yard with EZ talking.

"Do you think the arrival of Constance is going to help any in all of this? I just wish there was something Ursula could do about what evidence she's gathered so far, such as the link between this and Dawn Cavendish, because of course as soon as Elias gets wind of it, we're fucked," I tell my brother, watching him nodding.

"You're right there, and as for if Constance can shed any light on these events, well I hope so. I can tell how frustrated Charles is at present, he has more on his mind than he's willing to reveal to me. I respect them for the fact they're trying to keep us out of this, but at the same time, I'd do anything to help them," he reveals, something which I immediately agree with.

"Yeah, as do I. Even something as small as following Dawn and tracking her movements, or tailing that human guy in the bar, anything to help them with this," I sigh. "I'd give my own life to protect Ursula."  

"I know you would, but she wouldn't let you do it. She'd sooner die herself than see you meet your end, just as Charles would with me. To speak of the devil," EZ says, Charles appearing out of nowhere.

"Constance has just called. She is on her way here from the airport, where she and her offspring have been resting throughout the day in the vampire suite. She said half an hour, give or take with the traffic, so make yourselves presentable and do it sharpish," he informs us both. The vampire suite in case you wondered is a large room containing nothing but caskets, either ones provided there if vampires are flying in close to dawn, or vampires flying into the airport already within a flight casket, should their journey have been long enough to warrant them to travel inside where they're protected from the sun.

"I thought we were quite presentable as we were," EZ comments casually, but with amusement in his voice. He knows how fussy Charles can be when guests visit.

"At least have the grace to put a shirt on, my boy." Charles states in a slightly pained voice, making EZ and I laugh.

“Chill out, Charlie,” I can’t help but tease, earning a glare.

“Do not call me that.” His stony face has us in hysterics, Charles further complaining. “Bad sons, naughty sons. Should be put in a bloody cage!”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time,” I smirk, Charles making a throttling motion at my neck before he leaves us to it. We both go back into the house, and it's only another five minutes before a very hot and sweaty Edie arrives home with my wolves, and also a big bag on her back. I suggested she go get some clothes to bring here to she has a good supply of everything else she needs when she says with me, and it seems she's taken me up on that suggestion. After she's showered and dressed in fresh clothes, a long grey dress I bought for her recently, I help her put away her stuff and then we sit and talk for the five minutes remaining until I see headlights lighting up the front of the house through my window. Constance has arrived.

"EZ, Angel, come on," Ursula calls, as I hear the doors of the car opening and closing, taking Edie's hand in mine and walking down the stairs, EZ behind us ready to meet my creator's creator. As soon as the door is opened to her, I get such a shock that I feel like I'm going to faint for a second, and we vampires cannot pass out. My shock, it isn't over Constance at all, it's over the vampire who is with her, and that shock is shared by both me and EZ. We both stand and stare at him in utter disbelief, until one word comes from both of our mouths at the exact same time.

"Coco?"

No, that can't be... but it is. There he is, the friend, the MC brother we thought we lost to the disaster. Oh my fucking god!  

#angel reyes #angel reyes fanfiction #angel reyes smut #angel reyes imagine #angel reyes x ofc #angel reyes fanfic #angel reyes fic #vampire!angel reyes #ez reyes #ez reyes fanfiction #vampire!ez reyes #mayans mc #mayans mc fanfiction #mayans mc imagine #mayans mc smut #mayans mc fanfic #mayans mc fic

[staysuki]

when a new guy moves to your country, your empathetic heart forced you to reach out and help him—even when he wants nothing to do with you. (ENGLISH TRANSLATIONS)

TAGALOG VERSION -> here

pairing: bang chan x y/n (ivy league au)

genre: crack, fluff, angst, college/uni kid au (they're in their 3rd-4th year)

warnings: A LOT A LOT OF extreme cussing and vulgarity, including some corny, distasteful jokes. edgy(?) humor. filo humor(?) extreme suggestiveness!! lot's of mentions of sex/hook-up culture but no smut. still, R-16/17.

a/n: the translated version of When In Manila! because of the smau's plot and concept, i understand that some jokes and references may get lost in translation or it'll be difficult to fully capture the vibes of the whole "new guy in a new country" feelz + how absolutely unhinged the chaos of the group actually is (which makes me sad). but that's the challenge i'm going for!!

chapters

one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine | ten | eleven | twelve | thirteen | fourteen (1) | fourteen (2) | fifteen | sixteen | seventeen | eighteen | nineteen | twenty

twenty-one | twenty-two | twenty-three | twenty-four

cultural setting notes:

the story will still take place in the 🇵🇭PH, it's simply just the dialogue that'll change (and i'll try to make the references universally understandable). but because there might still be some filo culture references, this'll serve as a glossary for those!! (will be constantly updated). nonetheless, lmk if there's anything confusing still! (in any case, i'll add a glossary to every chapter as well!)

TRANSPORTATION - students having cars are uncommon here in the PH and is mostly seen as a sign of wealth. thus, "commute" is the go-to means of transportation (i.e. trains, buses, "jeeps", or taxis)

UNIVERSITY BELT / U-BELT - in the PH, we have an entire area where a LOT of universities are relatively next to each other (around 20-30 mins drive away). just imagine harvard, yale, and etc. being streets away from each other lolz.

UNIVERSITIES - most, if not all, universities/colleges in the PH require you to take an entrance examination before you could enroll. there are a lot of schools around the U-BELT but the most prominent ones that will be mentioned in the fic are:

ATENEO - probs the most "high-end" one with the expensive tuition and known for very rich (but also smart) students with an acceptance rate of 10-20%

LA SALLE - like ateneo, it's known for its expensive tuition and rich students but has an acceptance rate of 70+%. though the education quality is still good, there's a running joke that "la salle students only go there because they failed the entrance exam in ateneo/U.P."

ADAMSON - still expensive but not as much. kinda has their own world. despite being a catholic university, they're known for being an accepting and supportive school when it comes to their students (recently, they were the first big-name university to offer a "mental health break" so students can cope with the post-election stress)

U.P. - (short for "University of the Philippines"), known for "smart scholars" with a 10-15% acceptance rate which is our country's main university! it's cheaper than the first three and offers the most access to free-ride scholarships unlike the others. most UP students are scholars!!

to be updated...

(mm/dd/yy)

date started: 5/16/22

date finished:

taglist: open!

mastertag: @leagreenly @90s-belladonna @fuzzylard @loveliebri @chimmybaek7 @todorokiskitten @lilacdreams-00 @ethereallino @ninjaleeknow @trials--error @hey-i-really-miss-you @multifandomizer @aerastus @caratinylyfe @kdhvier @hibuki-chan @blaaiissee @skzoddinaries @suhnnyskiess @beaann

#when in manila #when in manila eng #wim skz #skz smau #skz #stray kids smau #stray kids #stray kids social media au #skz social media au

[the-clockwork-three]

Day 15: Numbers

Tags: @bella-daonna @rusalkaandtheshepherdgirl @grimalkinsquill @charlataninred @unseeliethot (ask to be added or removed)

Dia daoibh, mo chairde. Inniu, táimid ag caint faoi na huimhreacha. Today we are talking about numbers and how to count in Irish. 

Counting conceptually:

Or Cardinal numbers

These are the numbers you tend to think of first. It’s numbers for the sake of numbers. You use these numbers when you are counting and doing maths, when you are telling the time, and for numbers on doors or rooms (seomra uimhir a trí)

A Náid - zero

A hAon - one

A Dó - two

A Trí - three

A Ceathair - four

A Cúig - five

A Sé - six

A Seacht - seven

A hOcht - eight

A Naoi - nine

A Deich - ten

A hAon Deag - eleven

A Dó Dheag - twelve 

A Trí Deag - thirteen 

A Fiche - twenty

A Fiche is a haon - twenty one

A Fiche a dó - twenty two

A Fiche a trí - twenty three

A Tríocha - thirty 

A Daithead - fourty

A Caoga - fifty 

A Seasca - sixty

A Seachtó - seventy

A hOchtó - eighty

A Nócha - ninety

A Chead - a hundred

A Míle - a thousand

Counting things:

This is used to indicate a number of things you are talking about, but not people. 

Now I mentioned that numbers cause mutations, and these are the culprits. 1-6 adds a séimhiú, and 7-10 and an urú to the object being counted. If you have five coats and eight cakes then you would say “tá cuaig chóta, agus ocht gcáca agam”, and the noun should be in its normal singular form.  … indicates that the noun you are using goes. 

… ar bith - zero/none

… amhain - one

Dhá … - two

Trí … - Three

Ceithre ... - Four 

Cúig … - Five 

Sé … - Six 

Seacht … - Seven 

Ocht … - Eight 

Naoi … - Nine 

Deich … - Ten

Aon … déag - eleven

Dhá … déag - twelve

Fiche … - twenty

Aon … is fiche - twenty one

And continues in that pattern

Counting people:

Or personal numbers.

Special words for counting people! This includes counting people without saying the word person, like two brothers “beirt dheartháireacha”. Please note that animals and other living beings do use the “counting things” system, not this one. Any nouns being counted in this system are put in the genitive plural. Beirt applies a séimhiú, but no other number in this list applies a mutation. 

Duine ar bith - nobody 

Duine - one person

Beirt - two people

Triúr - three people

Ceathrar - four people

Cúigear  - five people

Seisear - six people

Seachtar - seven people

Ochtar - eight people

Naonúr - nine people 

Deichniúr - ten people

Aon duine dhéag - eleven people

Dáréag - twelve people

Trí dhuine dhéag - thirteen people

Ceithre dhuine dhéag - fourteen people

Fiche dhuine - twenty people

Duine is fiche - twenty one people

Dhá dhuine is fiche - twenty two people 

And following that same pattern.

Order:

Or Ordinal numbers.

This one is fairly simple, and it directly translates to English as first, second, third etcetera etcetera.  

Céad - first 

Dara - second

Tríú - third

Ceathrú - fourth

Cúigiú - fifth

Seú - sixth

Seachtú - seventh

Ochtú - eighth

Naoú - ninth

Deichiú - tenth

Aonú … déag - eleventh 

Dóú … déag - twelfth 

Fichiú - twentieth 

Aonú …. Is fiche - twenty first

And so on so forth.

Things you can say now:

Your age! Through the format of “Tá mé  ___ bliana d’aois”.  So if you are 18, you say “Tá mé ocht mbliana deag d’aois”, if you are 25 you say you say “Tá mé cúig bliana is fiche d’aois”, and if you are thirty you say “Tá mé tríocha bliain d’aois.”

The rules for which version of bliain (year) you use if the number ends in a 1 or a 2 use bhliain, ends between 3 to 6 use bliana, ends in 7, 8, or 9 use mbliana, and if your age ends in 0 then you use bliain. 

Date of birth! Use ordinal numbers for the day, and cardinal numbers for the years. 

“Rugadh mé ar an [ordinal number + urú] lá (deag/is fiche/is tríocha as appropriate) de [month + séimhiú], [year of birth in cardinal numbers]”

For example: “Rugadh mé ar an gcúigiú lá is fiche de Dheireadh Fómhair, dhá mhíle is a dó.” I was born on the 25th of October, 2002.

How many people are in your family! There are two words for family: Clann and Teaghlach. Clann is the family that is you, your partner, and your children, and teaghlach is the family which is you, your parents, and your siblings. There are, unfortunately, no gender neutral words for siblings, so you have to use “dearthair” (brother) and “deirfiúr” (sister). You can use the personal numbers to describe your family. 

Today’s seahfhocail is “Is fearr an tsláinte ná na táinte” or “health is better than wealth”.

See you all tomorrow for the tuiseal ginideach, a concept I have mentioned about five times because it's really important but also very finicky. Slán libh!

#snag 2023 #egg kointa #is mise an crann #oopsies definiately did not forget to tag this #gaeilge

[cattytheartcat]

Rashad's wrongdoings and red flags masterpost

This is to document everything that Rashad has done for the past month or so, from racist anons to being extremely sexual as a minor to using his race and mental illness as excuses to make innocent people uncomfortable.

This is gonna be long so I'm adding a "keep reading" thingy

Issue 1: theft.

Rashad claimed to be Cyber, a fanfic writer within the black Spiderverse community, to another fellow writer. According to Cyber, and some others affected, it seems Rashad himself stole Cyber's fic, or was attempting to accuse the other writer of theft. Link to Cyber's confession. Link to Bree's confession.

Issue 2: getting into other's business.

There were many instances of Rashad getting into things that isnt his business, only to use said things as a "gotcha" to talk shit of the users involved. Link to May's confession.

Issue 3: racism, harassment, etc in anon.

Oh where do I begin with this one. Instance one. Instance two. Instance three. Instance four. Instance five. Instance six. Instance seven. Instance eight. Instance nine. Instance ten. Instance eleven. Instance twelve. Instance thirteen. Instance fourteen.

There are MANY more examples, but the rundown is that Rashad sends anons to people who were affected by his wrongdoings, furthering his harassment on them. He pretends to be white racist anons, or "mutuals of his" on anons. Some anons may not be him, but suspicions rise heavily.

Issue 4: subaiting

As some of you may have seen, Rashad's last post on EkkoHusband was of him admitting to considering suicide. To me, personally, this feels rather off as he indirectly states that it is OUR fault that he's mentally "crazy", as he puts it. The harassment he gave us, then turns around and rants about how we are "attacking him because he's black and has schizophrenia". It just doesn't add up to me. Regardless, I do NOT condone ANYONE wishing him to follow through. I do NOT condone suicide, regardless of who is considering it. Suicide is NEVER the answer, nor is it something that should be taken lightly. I personally hope he did not go through and got the treatment he needed.

Now, the reason why I percieve it as subaiting is the fact that, even though he made this post, MORE racist anons came out at Chessbox, Primaviva, Yao, and maybe others as well. On top of that, Rashad's partner, Weirdo09, seems to be getting increasingly upset at Rashad for this.

Issue 5: hornyposting as a minor

Now, this one is a slippery slope, as most teenagers on this platform have a safe place to jot down horny thoughts without predators. That I believe is fine. However, there were a few instances where Rashad, a 15 year old, would make detailed horny posts about adult characters, even as far as saying he wished to be fucked by them. This, concerning everything, rubbed me the wrong way. Again, its a slippery slope, as many minors who've had sexual attraction to fictional characters tend to go after adult characters, which is something I cannot give a response to as I, too, had fictional crushes who were twice my age when I was a minor. Instance one. Instance two. Instance three. Instance four. Instance five. Instance six. Instance seven. Instance eight.

I want to take this final note as a solid confession. I was a recent victim of Rashad's harassment. Although I am not in the Spiderverse community (neither am I black), I am anti-proship and anti-profic. Because of this, Rashad felt a "connection" with me. I met Rashad through a mutual, Wann, as he was attempting to figure out how to get rid of a stalker. Rashad suggested to get police involved, and I suppose he saw me help Wann out as well. Thus, he followed me. Thinking he wanted to help us, I became mutuals with him.

Issue 6: my confession.

Immediately afterwards, he sent me this ask detailing about how people thought he was a groomer towards a 12 year old user. Keep in mind Rashad is supposedly 15. Not thinking much of it, I responded, agreeing that he was not in fact a groomer. After that, he sent me a DM. I responded with "hellur", as I felt saying "hello" was far too formal. Immediately he responded with "MADEA??", and, confused, I asked who. Without a skip he asked if I was black or white. Already uncomfortable but didn't want to be rude, I attempted to joke and say "yeah I'm white af". He then said "I'm black", which furthered my confusion. Apparently, his reasoning was because, and I quote, "he says [n word] alot". Again, not thinking of it, I responded, saying that I really didn't care as long as it's not a white person saying it. I began to talk a little about my ex boyfriend to try and shift the topic to a more comfortable conversation, but he just kept up the race thing. My final straw was him asking "wyd" (What you doing). It felt very... strange. In my experiences, "wyd" means "what you doing so I can flirt with you". I then put my foot down, telling him that I was uncomfortable with him mentioning race first thing without knowing me. He doubled down, constantly apologizing and claimed that he was high.

After I blocked him, I showed everything to Wann, who I trusted, and he confronted Rashad in another ask sent by him. Rashad then went on a MASSIVE rant about how "I accused him of doing drugs" (when in fact Wann was the one who assumed he was doing weed or drugs based on the fact he said "I'm high rn"). He also accused me of trying to paint him as racist, when in fact I wasn't. What I was doing was stating boundaries and wished for them to be respected. He did not respect me, rather he continued to vague-post about our interaction to not only his own vent posts, but to literally every mutual he had. This made me go find said mutuals to apologize to them and give them the truth, as Rashad purposely left out crucial details in his screenshots of our DMs.

Evidence one (Wann being concerned for Rashad after I sent Wann my DMs with Rash. Again, Rashad has NEVER mentioned ANY mental or physical difficulties, he only said he was high.)

Evidence two (Rashad admitting that he was, in fact, under influence by drugs, albeit pain medication for a supposed back pain.... but I thought these meds were for his schizophrenia and BPD like his vents stated?)

Evidence three

Evidence four (Rashad dragging a mutual of his into everything and me being increasingly pissed)

Evidence five

What even... why did you even? Talk about your mom's genitals like that? I get it she abuses you but like.... you're 15....

Other smaller issues and resources

This was clearly a meme/joke in the brony community....

This.... just. The person in question has schizophrenia as well and was probably using their experience as an EXAMPLE. Plus the "I'm leaving Tumblr" is a fucking joke since he keeps sending anon hate to those who were affected. (Here's the person in question explaining their thoughts better)

You did not post anything regarding apologies, you slandered my name and then subaited us.

I can't even say anything about this one it just speaks for itself.

Its obvious who he's referring to :/

Evidence of Rashad being fucking weird?? According to ex moots of his.

More evidence from ex moots of his

A lil note of how self diagnosed schizophrenia works (broadly, not specifically)

Tainted's confession

Tainted's response to Rashad 1

Tainted's response to Rashad 2

....this (death threat warning)

A better explanation about minors horny posting because I have a hard time explaining it

Accounts he has (DO NOT GO AND SEND HARASSMENT TO ANY OF THESE ACCOUNTS, THIS IS TO GIVE CREDITABILITY TO EVERYTHING AND SO EVERYONE WHO WAS AFFECTED CAN BLOCK SAID ACCOUNTS. IF I FIND YOU HARASSING RASHAD I'M HUNTING YOU DOWN.): EkkoHusband (warning there are major suicide talk in some posts), DepressedMusliim , and RashadLivesOn

My final thoughts: Rashad, I've said it plenty of times. You need to log the fuck off on every pathetic media account you have and go the fuck outside. Get resources to help jumpstart you into therapy, communicate with your fucking partner to help get shit done, WRITE A FUCKING DIARY. do SOMETHING healthy with your life instead of coping with your shit by sending racist shit to people that got hurt by you. Yeah, you should be fucking sorry, you treated everyone that trusted you like shit, and when they called you out you turned around and pulled multiple victim cards to make it look like you're being bullied because "poor widdle Rashie is just sick he's just a widdle guy 🥺🥺🥺". I'm sick of you, Rashad. I'm sick of your pathetic lies. I'm sick of your continued harassment of people who want nothing to do with you anymore. I'm sick of you. I hope you get fucking help and get rid of this toxic mindset you oh so desperately clutch onto. You disgust me, Rashad. Never come back.

#Rashad incident

[xenia-cenia]

hello' im the anon who asked haha, i had this scenario in my mind for awhile

so, lets pretend that dazai and his s/o are going on a mission together, it goes well but they got trapped in a battle -pretty loud- and his s/o gets injured and (they/she) pass out.

dazai scared goes to them but with all the noise, (guns or maybe rain too) and with all the panic he is in, he cant feel the pulse or hear a heartbeat so he thinks his s/o died :( but they are just passed out and they will recover. very angsty but with a happy ending ( im a sucker for this type of writting bye)

im sorry if its too specific ahh thank you for reading 💖

A/N- sad shit? sign me up!

and dont worry about too specific it makes it easier for me if theres certain stuff you want so i know what to add/avoid :)

As the best sniper in the Agency, it wasn't uncommon for you to be thrown onto incredibly dangerous missions alone. In fact, it was almost your preference.

Nobody else to account for, nobody to mess up your shot.

Nobody except for your slightly sadistic boyfriend.

"Osamu!" You yelled into your headset, frowning at his staticy voice as he taunted the enemies. "PLEASE stop begging to get yourself killed and help me line up my shot!"

"Ahh, belladonna, belladonna, you take the fun away from this."

"Excuse me if I want to go home and watch a movie."

"Speaking of - are we still on for a date night tonight? My place at 7, right?"

You rolled your eyes, "Yes, Osamu. Now please get them in position!"

It was a mission just like any other one. Dazai was to distract the enemies, Kunikida will protect Dazai and you were to find a good shot. Ranpo had told you everything you needed to know about the enemies and their strategies. All you needed to do was make one shot.

As the best sniper in Yokohama, it wasn't uncommon for you to be thrown onto incredibly dangerous missions alone.

In fact, it was almost your preference.

It was raining that day, fat drops had slapped against your goggles and distorted your vision, not to mention the crack of gunshots and thunder echoing in your ears. Still, you lined up your shot as you always did.

Nobody else to account for.

One, two, three... sixteen. Sixteen enemies were supposed to be on the field. Why did you only see seventeen figures?

You looked down the sights of your sniper rifle and recounted the bodies. Three were incapacitated, seven were fighting Dazai and Kunikida, two were retreating and three were grabbing more supplies.

Panic began to rise in your throat as you saw a familiar glint behind cover, your eyes widenened and a sensation you had never felt before electrified your veins.

They say gunshot wounds are incredibly painful - and to some measure, you fully agree. But for some reason, you couldn't focus on the pain as the bullet tore through your side. All you could do was look up at the roof of the abandoned building you were in and wished it was the sky you were seeing instead.

One, two, three.

You took a deep breath, a shaky and painful breath, but a deep one nonetheless.

Four, five, six.

A crude laugh fell from your lips - it felt wrong to giggle at your mortality, but it was the only option you had to not break into sobs.

Seven, eight, nine.

You heard yelling, a strangled cry and the sound of pounding footsteps but it sounded incredibly far away. The color began to drain from the world as you blinked.

Ten, eleven, twelve.

Calloused hands grabbed yours. You almost had the strength to look to see who they belonged to, but you felt more comfort leaning into the anonymous embrace of death.

Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen.

You don't remember death crying in any of the movies you'd seen. Yet here he was, choking back sobs and squeezing your hands so hard you expected them to snap.

Sixteen.

Sixteen. The number that changed it all - the bullet you didn't account for. The shot you missed.

Death cranes his head forward, his sepia eyes and ruffled hair surprises you. You almost smile, but it looks more like a strangled grimace, and stare into his bleary eyes.

The gunfire has ended. You hear a car hurriedly pull up, and deaths head snaps up his eyes filled with hesitant hope.

He smiles for a moment and leans over you, whispering words you can't hear and the world turns dark.

It took 3 minutes and 53 seconds for Yosano to bring you back to life. 3 minutes and 53 seconds of painful, painful waiting.

The second you had gotten shot, Kunikida had radioed for her prompt arrival and luckily, she got there in time. Hearing her say that she was almost too late was far too much for Dazai.

He cradled you in his arms, feeling your blood seep into his clothes as he tried to bring you comfort, but he knew he wasn't getting anywhere. The glassy look of death had overtaken your senses, and he knew it was a matter of time.

It took 3 minutes and 53 seconds of waiting for your heartbeat to start once more.

When you recovered, you had told stories of your near death experience to the Agency, embellishing details and dragging it out far longer than needed in order to entertain your coworkers.

But the only secret that you and only you knew about, is that you were not the intended target for that bullet that day. That had you hesitated, it would of tore right through both Kunikida and Dazai, leaving both for dead due to your lack luster medical skills.

Though, many did notice a new confidence in your tone when you'd say I'd take a bullet for the Agency.

#dazai x reader #x reader #my writing #bsd x reader #x reader fanfic #x reader fanfiction #bungo stray dogs x reader #bsd x you #dazai x y/n #dazai osamu x reader #dazai osamu x you #dazai osamu x y/n #dazai x you #bsd fanfic #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd x y/n #bsd dazai

[twistnet]

that’s the spirit — christmas countdown

welcome to a little requesting event to celebrate the end of the year!! i hope you all have had an amazing year and i can’t wait to see what the new one brings us!!

⋯

PROMPTS — prompts are from this [ post ] by @dwaynepride​​. these are cheery + happy for the holidays -- so no nsfw themes this time around!

EXPECTATIONS — 500-1000 words, all based around sentences to get people in a holiday spirit [ gn!readers + female!readers; will be listed in warnings + tags ]

NOTICES — things to keep in mind:

this will serve as the masterlist for the event! days will be updated with links upon posting

add yourself to the taglist – [ here ]

DAY ONE. knitted; [ brian zvonecek ] ⇢ ugly christmas sweaters

DAY TWO. misletoe; [ ellie williams ] ⇢ “who hung up the mistletoe?”

DAY THREE. baby, it’s cold outside; [ jim street ] ⇢ “i’m freezing // you’re freezing”

DAY FOUR. twinkling lights; [ donovan rocker ] ⇢ christmas tree lights

DAY FIVE. life day; [ hunter ] ⇢ decorations

DAY SIX. recipes of warmth; [ benny o’donnell ] ⇢ “i happen to make very good hot chocolate”

DAY SEVEN. i’ll be home; [ kelly severide ] ⇢ “i’m sorry we can’t spend the holidays together

DAY EIGHT. 1895; [ javier peña ] ⇢ eggnog

DAY NINE. tamaladas; [ angel reyes + ez reyes ] ⇢ tradition

DAY TEN. red & white; [ frank castle ] ⇢ “you’d look good in a santa hat

DAY ELEVEN. candygrams; [ jessica cortez + hondo harrelson ] ⇢ candy cane 

DAY TWELVE. naughty or nice; [ bishop losa ] ⇢ “what if i’m on the naughty list? do i get anything?”

DAY THIRTEEN. tree topper; [ dominic luca ] ⇢ “i can’t reach the top of the tree”

DAY FOURTEEN. the most wonderful time; [ druig ] ⇢ christmas carols

DAY FIFTEEN. hard year; [ bobby nash ] ⇢ “it’s been a hard year, but now it’s christmas, and i want to spend it with you”

DAY SIXTEEN. sweet treats; [ jim street ] ⇢ “you’re going to make me burn the cookies”

DAY SEVENTEEN. bright red nose; [ sylvie brett ] ⇢ reindeer

DAY EIGHTEEN. fake date; [ creeper vargas ] ⇢ fake dating because the family keeps asking about a significant other

DAY NINETEEN. christmas spirit; [ evan buckley ] ⇢ “if i hear one more christmas song, i’m going to shoot myself”

DAY TWENTY. chocolate kisses; [ ethan choi ] ⇢ hot cocoa kisses

DAY TWENTY-ONE. man in a red suit; [ matt murdock ] ⇢ “tis the season?”

DAY TWENTY-TWO. all that shines; [ hailey upton ] ⇢ “you’re cute enough to be a tree topper”

DAY TWENTY-THREE. warm by the fireplace; [ joel miller ] ⇢ fireplace

DAY TWENTY-FOUR. it’s tradition; [ bucky barnes ] ⇢ "its christmas eve, that means i get to open one gift”

DAY TWENTY-FIVE. christmas morning; [ eddie diaz ] ⇢ "wake up it’s christmas”

#twistnet :: celebrations #celebrations :: christmas countdown

[theangstyboiblog]

FAMILY PT. 24 | Crosshair x Pregnant!Reader

Description: Uh-oh spaghettios.

Masterlist: Pts. One and Two and Three and Four and Five and Six and Seven and Eight and Nine and Ten and Eleven and Twelve and Thirteen and Fourteen and Fifteen and Sixteen and Seventeen and Eighteen and Nineteen and Twenty and Twenty-One and Twenty-two and Twenty-Three and Twenty-Four and Twenty-Five and Twenty-Six and Twenty-Seven and Twenty-Eight and Twenty-nine and Thirty and Thirty-one and Thirty-Two and Thirty-Three

“I’m not taking Y/N anywhere near that woman,” Cross growls as you lower yourself into a seat with a quiet groan. Your back begins to relax and you close your eyes for a moment, trying anything to make your heart stop pounding.

The Empire knows. A silent curse runs through your mind as you think back to Ord Mantell and Corellia. You’d been careful for so long, kept your powers hidden as much as you could. But now the Empire isn’t just after the holocron. They’re chasing after you. Plain and utter fear twists your stomach into knots.

Everyone is looking at you as you open your eyes. Cross steps between you and them as though he’s a caged lothcat, ready to fend off another predator that’s stalking you.

Echo shakes his head. “No one is even considering that as an option, Crosshair.”

“We’re not morons you know,” Wrecker says and you shake your head as Cross sits down next to you.

“Well, not all of us,” Tech says as he holds up his arm and taps the tablet on his wrist. No one laughs him off. It’s silence as a holomap of the Coruscant system comes into view. “The Senator’s coordinates are here, on Centax-3.” The map zooms in on Coruscant, then bypasses the planet to focus in on its third moon.

“How long will it take us to get there, Echo?” Hunter asks. Echo shrugs.

“If we leave now, we can get there late-morning. Give us some time to scout it out, make a plan before we’re supposed to be there.”

Cross folds his arms as everyone quiets down thinking and planning and strategizing. “We need a plan before we reach Centax.”

Hunter holds his hands out and shrugs his shoulders. “We deliver the holocron. Shoot our way out if we have to. That’s what she really wants. Y/N is just an extra prize but they won’t come after us for her.” He glances at you. “… at least I don’t think they will.”

You shake your head and let out a depressed laugh. “That’s assuming you can make your way into her residence without getting caught. If she catches you, she’ll kill you.”

“We’ve been caught before,” Tech says nonchalantly.

“And killed,” Echo adds.

Wrecker chimes in. “We’ve been through worse.”

You stare at them before swinging your gaze to the man beside you. Cross looks back at you, his face relaxing from a severe glare directed at Wrecker to a soft glance. You shake your head at him and stand up, turning your back on the group as you go and stand by the door. You stare out at the sea as they talk behind you.

Not safe. You’re not safe. You cradle your stomach as you bite your cheek. You realize that you’ve never been truly safe. There’s always been someone out there that’s wanted to hurt you, to kill you. Two years ago, you’d never have given it a second thought. A year ago you’d have shrugged it off. But now, you can’t help but feel as if the ground beneath your feet is caving in, dragging you down into a chasm that you’ll never escape. If it was just you, you’d ignore it. If it was just you, you could fight it. But it’s not just you and the hard nudge that emanates from inside you only solidifies what you already know. And it terrifies you.

“Y/N and Omega will stay on the ship. On the outskirts of the city where the patrols don’t pass,” Hunter says.

You turn your head at the sound of your name, but say nothing. Your fingers dig into the metal door frame as Hunter gives his orders. The others question and make suggestions, but soon they’re moving behind you. You flinch as a warm hand runs across your shoulder blades. You turn.

“We’re moving out,” Cross says quietly as he rubs circles over your spine. “Do you want to stay with—”

“I’m going with you,” you tell him and he stares at you for a moment. Then he nods. Lifting his hand, he gestures to the stairs in front of you. You step forward and start your descent, a shiver making you hug your arms to your chest as his warm palm disappears from your back and cold sea air takes its place.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The view of hyperspace is mesmerizing. Usually. Now it sends your vision swirling, your stomach twisting. You press a hand to your mouth as you close your eyes and turn in your seat. Out of sight, out of mind, the nausea that was flooding you abates and you release a long heavy breath as you crane your head back and rest in your chair.

You glance to the pilot’s seat to your left and watch as Cross punches a series of commands into the system. “We’ll reach Centax-3 in a few hours,” he says, as if he can sense that you’re watching him. His brown eyes dart over to you and he smiles softly. “If you want to rest…”

“I’ll rest when this is over,” you murmur.

“You’re going to make yourself sick,” he says, pushing himself onto his feet. He sidesteps around the console between you, only stopping when he’s right in front of you, looming over you. You say nothing. You just stare up at him. “You don’t have to worry.” His shoulders slump as he kneels down, cupping your face between his hands. “I won’t let them take you,” he murmurs, staring into your eyes. “They’ll have to kill me first.”

“Don’t say that,” you whisper as your reach up and grab his wrists. “Please, don’t say that.” You push his hands away from your face, but keep hold, folding them beneath yours and setting them in your lap. “We should run,” you tell him and he immediately shakes his head.

“We can’t do that.”

“Why not?” you whisper shifting in your seat so your face is closer to his. His hands leave yours and slide up your sides as he looks down. “Why do I have to risk losing you again? You heard her. The holocron isn’t enough. If I don’t come with you, she’ll kill you. ”

“And if you come with me, she’ll kill you too,” Cross shoots back. “We don’t have a lot of choices.”

Your shoulders tense up before falling back as you look up at the ceiling and shake your head. “Then we should run.”

Cross lets out a groan. “Y/N, if we do that, then we’ll never stop running.”

“I can live with that,” you whisper, voice hoarse as you bite back a sob.

“No, you can’t,” Cross tells you, shifting forward as he caresses your cheek, “I know you can’t. And I can’t live with that either.” You bite your bottom lip as his thumb wipes away a stream of tears that refuses to cease. “Listen to me,” he says. “I want a life with you, but not one where we’re constantly worrying about someone coming after us, or someone driving us apart. We’ve lived through years of that already and I’m sick of it.”

“Cross…”

He lets out a soft shush, and lowers his hand from your face, craning his head downward. He turns and lowers his brow to rest against the crest of your belly for a moment. You sit still, frozen until he lifts his head and peers up at you, eyes shining.

“I want to give our baby the childhood you and I never got, one where they’re safe and loved. One where they know and have both of us – where they will never see their family hurt, where they won’t be afraid to sleep at night.”

“But---”

Cross shakes his head. “No buts.”

Your teeth bite into the blade of your tongue as he levels you with a look that is firm, yet understanding. He knows what he’s asking you to do. He knows what this is putting you through. You breathe in through your nose, shuddering as you look down.

“The thought of losing you terrifies me, Cross.”

“I know,” he says softly, eyes drifting down. “It scares me too.”

Your brow furrows as you take him in. You can count on your fingers the amount of times Cross has been plainly, unabashedly honest with you. Any other time in your relationship, when it came to voicing one’s feelings, you’ve been the outspoken one. There have been times you wish you could be like him. Stoic. Sharp and quick-tongued. It wasn’t that he didn’t feel anything. He just rarely put it out there for everyone to hear and know. And even rarer did he look to someone else to give him strength.

And he’s looking at you now. You notice for the first time a fresh imprint of crow’s feet at the corners of his eyes. You take a breath. You swallow and wet your lips as you reach forward, setting your hands on either side of his face.

“You’ve always come back to me, haven’t you?” you whisper as his lips part. He’s silent for a moment as he stares up at you.

“Always.” He runs his palm over the top of your thigh. “That’s not ever going to change, Y/N. Wherever you go, I will always find my way back to you.” You smile and laugh through the tears that can no longer be held back by your force of will. You run your fingers through his hair as he wipes your cheeks with his thumbs. You let out a broken whisper.

“Don’t take so long this time.”

----

READ PART and Twenty-Five

A/N: Long week for me. Got bad news about my mom so stress is high but writing is helping me a lot. So idk if you'll get pt. 25 soon or not but I am working on it. Hope you enjoyed reading! The action starts next!

If you would like to be tagged, please comment/reply to the story parts only. I'm having trouble getting all the requested tags from asks and messages. It makes it easier for me to stay organized if they're just left in comments/reblogs etc.

Taglist (this is getting tricky to copy and paste because there are so many of you omg and i am tech inept). T_T

@darkangel4121

@bellenuitcesoir

@persaloodles

@ladykatakuri

@dionysuskid21

@saereneth

@discofern

@and-claudia

@s1st3r

@stupidbitchesenterprise

@salaminus

@haloangel391

@4rosydreams

@satikryze

@jennrosefx

@goddess-of-congeniality

@tacticalsparkles

@ilikemymendarkandfictional

@obi-bae-kenobi

@shadow-pancake9

@monako-jinn-stories

@sometimeseverythingsucks

@the-sad-batch

@kishie8

@mandosgirl

@namesmox

@rintheemolion

@mylifeinthetardisforever

@kakashibabe02

@rewin-d

@erisdogwood

@badbatch-simp24

@gabile18

@imhereforthewaffles

@heavenseed76

@spectre-12

@abigfanofstarwars

@idratherbebaked

@randomassideas

@shuttlelauncher81

@makeup-n-turtles

@ucy161e

@nemesis-eris

@rowansparrow

@fandom-garbage

@findinghiddentruths

@marvelousdaydreams

@spaceydragons

@bb-8

@imonlyhereforcrosshair

@mellowstatesmanhandsempath

@witchykinkybiwife

@superhusbands4ever

@in-the-crosshairs

@techissweet

#the bad batch #tbb #tbb crosshair #crosshair x you #crosshair x fem!reader #crosshair x reader #tbb crosshair x reader #tcw #star wars #smut

[angelicyoongie]

desolate (1)

— summary: you just wanted a cute little normal cat to keep you company. so you're not really sure how you ended up with the grumpiest hybrid on earth that seems hellbent on making your life difficult.

— pairing: cat hybrid yoongi x  reader

— genre: angst, fluff, eventual smut

— word count: 2.7k Part two Part three Part four Part five Part six Part seven Part eight Part nine Part ten (M) Part eleven Part twelve Part thirteen Part fourteen (M)

"A hybrid?" You barely hold back a cough, the sandwich you were eating getting caught in your throat at your coworkers surprising words.

"Don't sound so surprised Y/N, this isn't the first time we've talked about this," Jihyo rolls her eyes, pushing her water bottle closer to you as she notices you struggling. You quickly take a sip, the cool water soothing your irritated throat.

"No, but it's the first time we've ever talked about me and hybrids in the same sentence," You shake your head as you lean back in your chair, Jihyo's eyes narrowing as she looks at you.

You advert your eyes to pick at your shirt. Somehow, Jihyo always knows how to make you do something you're unsure of, and this is too serious to be one of those situations.

"But wouldn't it be nice? You always complain about being lonely," Jihyo says, a knowing smile on her face as she takes another bite of her own food.

"Yeah, but I meant a boyfriend, not a hybrid!" You sigh. You had been complaining a lot recently about how sad it was to come home to an empty apartment, and how nice it would be if the space was filled with someone else besides yourself.

But a hybrid? You hardly know anything about them. And considering they're part human and animal, you're sure they would need double the attention a regular pet would.

"Besides, I just don't think I'll be able to take care of anyone else. I can barely take care of myself!" You add, a frown on your face as you find a small stain on your white shirt.

Right. You can't even seem to keep your food where it's supposed to be, how can you care for another being?

"Ugh, alright! If you say so, " Jihyo huffs, a small pout on her lips as she finishes her food. You know she only has your best intentions in mind, but this is a big step. One your not sure you're ready for.

"If you don't want to adopt, can you at least come with me when I go looking tomorrow? I think a second opinion would be good," You look up to meet her eyes and oh no, there's those puppy eyes again, those that make saying no so hard.

"Fine, I'll come with," You grumble, standing up to throw away your trash. Your lunch break isn't that long, and you would hate to get yelled at by your boss for something so small as not being at your desk when your break is up. It happened once before, and you vowed to yourself that it would never happen again after that.

"Thank you Y/N!" Jihyo grins, throwing her arm around your shoulder as she leads you back outside to your desks. "I promise you won't regret coming with me!"

~

You are regretting coming with her.

You two met up a few hours after your shift ended the next day, at the building Jihyo texted you the address to. You had always pegged her as one of those that would go to a higher class breeding facility, where they kept expensive and prized hybrids that were in perfect shape. She comes from money, and you know she doesn't need her job to pay her bills - not in the same way that you do.

That's why you are so surprised to find yourself outside of your local shelter, the large building looking a little worse for wear. The worst part is that Jihyo knows how weak you are for those that doesn't have much and need help. She totally set you up. Jihyo pulls you inside as soon as she spots you, a big smile on her face as she drags you up to the front desk.

"Hello! What can I help you with?" The man behind the front desk gives you both a kind smile, the nametag on his shirt tells you that his name is Yeonjun.

"We're here to adopt!" Jihyo beams.

"Jihyo!" You hiss, quickly elbowing her in the side as a confused Yeonjun watches your interaction. You give him a strained smile as Jihyo rolls her eyes.

"I'm here to adopt, she's just here to look," Jihyo clarifies. You're about to hiss at her again, because no, you're not! but you're interrupted as Yeonjun's face lights up, a clipboard in his hand as he steps away from the counter.

"Very well! Please come with me so that we can discuss what you're after."

You give Jihyo a sour look as she pulls you along down the white corridor, into the office that Yeonjun has taken you to.

"I just need some basic information, and then I'll take you out to see them," Jihyo nods eagerly as your eyes drift off to take in the decor around the office. It's pretty plain and small, but one wall is covered with pictures of humans and animals grinning to the camera, tens of happy faces staring right back at you.

"Oh, that's our happily adopted wall," Yeonjun supplies as he realizes your attention has strayed elsewhere.

"They do look very happy," You murmur, feeling a little sad as you let your eyes roam over their faces one more time. You can hear Jihyo listing off her information for a while, your attention drawn to a picture of a girl with a white cat. You've always had a soft spot for cats ever since your neighbor's cat used to sneak into your room for extra cuddles and snacks when their owner was at work.

"And you, Miss?" You startle, a faint blush creeping into your cheeks as you realize that both Yeonjun and Jihyo are looking at you expectantly.

"Your information?" He says, hands resting on the keyboard as he waits for you to list of your details. You tell him about your apartment, your income, your habits. You don't even realize what you're doing until he asks, "And what kind of hybrid are you interested in?"

"Oh no, sorry, I don't think I can care for a hybrid. They seem to need a lot of attention and I'm not sure I can give them what they need," You see Yeonjun's face fall as you explain, a sad smile on his face as he finishes typing in your information.

"That's okay, Miss. Then we'll just store your details in case you change your mind later." You give him a nod, thankful that he didn't push further.

"So, you do want to go meet them now?" Yeonjun asks, and Jihyo shoots up from her seat, a big smile on her face as she takes your hand and makes you follow them outside.

Jihyo is pretty sure she wants a dog hybrid, but she really wants to look at the others before making up her mind, so you find yourself following them into the first room, the one that houses all of the smaller hybrids first.

You can see that some of them are shifted into their animal forms, small bunnies and rabbits as well as some hamsters running around inside the room. There are some that are in their human forms as well, long ears turning your way as you step up to the glass wall separating you from them.

"This is just for safety," Yeonjun gently taps the glass as he lets you two step closer.

"Some hybrids get really excited, and it's just best to try to keep some distance until you see one you like. Then you can meet them and decide if they're right for you," You find yourself nodding along to Yeonjun's explanation as you step back, letting Jihyo use the space to see if she sees one she likes.

You smile as you watch the hybrids running around, most of them crowding close to the wall and Jihyo to try to catch her attention.

One of the bunnies hang back though, and you jump a little as you find it looking directly at you, nose twitching as you meet its gaze. One ear is standing straight up and the other is flopped, the brown bur looking almost golden and you can't help but coo a little.

It's so cute .. And bunnies aren't that big after all .. You quickly advert your eyes in time to see Jihyo shake her head.

"Can we see some more?" She asks, and you swear you feel the brown bunnies eyes staring at your back as you follow them out.

Turns out the shelter has a lot more different animals than you first thought. Bunnies, cats, birds, dogs, foxes, wolves. You didn't even know that there were so many different kinds! You do find yourself drawn to some of the hybrids you see. There was the bunny, the spotted hamster, the boy with the orange cat ears and fluffy tail, the gray wolf, the red fox and now, the golden retriever hybrid that's pushed up against the glass, an excited smile on his face as he tries to press himself even closer.

"I think he likes you," Yeonjun laughs, and the hybrid just looks so happy that you can't help but smile back. You didn't think it was possible, but his tail suddenly wags even faster, eyes big and bright now that he's finally got your attention.

There's nothing you would like more than to bring him home, but you don't think you're ready, and you would hate for it to not work out and for the poor hybrid to return to the shelter. So you shake your head sadly at the hybrid, your heartstrings tugging as you watch his ears droop down at the rejection.

I'm sorry, you think. Maybe in another life where you had a better and more stable job.

You step outside of the room as Jihyo and Yeonjun continue looking, the dejected expression on the dog hybrid’s face making you feel worse than you thought you would.

You notice that a door a little further down the hall is ajar, and the sign above it just says "animals". You can’t help but feel curious as you make your way down, only hesitating slightly before pushing the door open and slipping into the room.

There are cages in here, you notice, and you find yourself wondering why these hybrids are locked up in here and not out with the rest. It can't be good for them to be kept in such small cages. You slowly wander down the room, looking at the different smaller animals until one catches your attention.

You freeze as golden eyes catch yours, the darkness in the cage making it hard to make out the animal stuck inside it. But after a few seconds your eyes seem to adjust, and you suck in a breath as you see that it's a black fluffy cat.

"Fluffball?" You whisper. Even though it bears a striking resemblance to the cat your neighbor had, you know it's not the same one. Fluffball had to be put down due to an illness, and you were there to attend the little funeral your neighbor held for it.

The cat hisses at the name, eyes narrowed as it looks at you from the darkness. It certainty seems to be more aggressive than what Fluffball was, but there's just something you can't put your finger on.

"Y/N?" You hear Jihyo calling out for you in the hallway, and you spare the cat another look before hurrying out.

"So that's where you were!" Jihyo grabs your hand as you sheepishly step into the hallway, Yeonjun giving you a small frown as he notices the sign above the door.

"Can I ask something? You are you keeping hybrids locked up in those small cages?" You ask Yeonjun. The idea doesn't sit right with you.

"Oh no, Miss! Those are just normal animals. We normally just keep them there until a proper shelter can pick them up," He gives you a reassuring smile.

"That's good," You mutter, throwing a look over your shoulder at the door as Jihyo starts leading you back to the front desk.

"Did you find one you like?" You suddenly remember the reason you were there in the first place, and Jihyo practically skips down the corridor as she chirps out a yes.

"I found the cutest little Pomeranian hybrid. I love her already!" Jihyo giggles as Yeonjun brings you two to back to his office, a stack of papers waiting to be filled out.

As you watches Jihyo fill out the forms with concentration, you can't help but let your mind wander back to the black cat. You might not be able to care for a hybrid, but a regular cat should work fine.

"Yeonjun?" You ask.

"Yeah?" He smiles.

"I actually think I might want to adopt someone after all."

~

Despite Jihyo's pleads for you to get a hybrid, you couldn't be more sure that you've made the right decision. Yeonjun seemed more than happy to let you adopt the black cat, saying that the less travel and new environments the cat had to go through to find a new home - the better.

So that's how you find yourself back in your apartment, carefully placing the carrier down on your hallway floor.

"We're home kitty," You smile, excited to finally have a pet to come home to. You rush to place down the food bowls in the kitchen and the litter box near your bathroom, wanting it all to be in place before you let your new friend out.

You take careful steps back to the carrier, not wanting to startle it - him - as you crouch down to open it slowly. You peak inside once the door to the carrier is open, only to find the cat pressed up against the back, fur raised and low hisses coming out of its mouth as you make eye contact.

"Hey now, it's okay," You frown, pulling back to see if giving it space will make it feel more comfortable. You wait for what feels like forever, but the cat refuses to move from what you brought him home in.

You know it hasn't eaten for a while, and that it really needs to get out of the carrier to start making itself feel at home. While you don't want to force it outside, you don't really have much choice.

The grumbling from the black cat grows louder as you come closer, and you can see that its eyes are trained on the fingers that are coming closer and closer.

The fluffy tail is swishing harshly back and forth, and so it doesn't come as a surprise when it lashes out, claws digging into your forearm as you quickly scoop it out. You let go as soon as it's out, picking up the carrier and closing it so that it can't scurry back inside.

The cat gives you another angry meow before it disappears under the couch. You let out a hiss of your own as you accidentally brush against the marks your angry kitty made, a few drops of blood staining your skin.

You let out a sigh as you quickly make your way to the bathroom, sterilizing and bandaging your scratches before they can get infected. Your next stop is the kitchen.

You fill up the food bowls with the cat food Yeonjun gave you, thankful that you could stay at home for a little bit and get to know your kitty before needing to leave him alone to go shopping. You hear a soft hiss as you get closer to the couch and you freeze, not wanting to upset him even more.

"I'm going to bed, kitty. There's food in the kitchen," You feel a little silly talking to a cat, especially one that clearly doesn't like you, but it feels weird to just go to bed without any explanation.

"See you in the morning," You mumble, cradling your throbbing arm to your chest as you make your way to the bedroom. You end up closing your door, not wanting to take the risk of waking up to your cat clawing up your face.

But maybe if you hadn't, maybe if you had waited a little longer, you would have seen the golden eyes peeking out from under the couch.

The golden eyes that seemed almost .. human, in the growing night.  

- - - -

Welcome to the first chapter of desolate! I promise the next chapter will be more interesting as Yoongi grows more comfortable in well, your home. ;)

P.S. This story will grow a lot more mature/smutty, so please keep that in mind!

Hope to update again soon if you guys liked this! I'm also considering writing a version where Y/N picks up all the little animals that seemed to be calling out for her .. if you guys are interested!

#bts #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts hybrid #bts hybrid au #hybrids #min yoongi #suga #cat hybrid yoongi #bts x reader #yoongi x reader #romance #fluff #angst #hybrid!bts #eventual smut #hybrid!yoongi #desolate masterlist

[01solarsmiles]

synposis: working in a restaurant has its ups and down but working in the neo restaurant really takes the cake. wether it be the dreamies proving their superiority over and over again or the rat-pack band of sorts the head bartender put together, nothing fails to amuse. throw in a soundcloud rapper or two, a couple of new kids on the block, so kindly trained by haechan and taeil, a worn-out manager of sorts paired with two assistant managers, questionable cooks, flirty bartenders and you’re bound to enjoy yourself here. without a doubt, there’s something for everyone here, no matter your preferences; this is the place to be tonight.

tl;dr: the life of a waitress in the vacinity of the neo’s and gang.

genre: sm au, restaurant au, crack, slice of life

pairings: jaehyun x reader, mark x reader (so far)

warnings: swearing; i mean, come on. alcohol mentions!! jungwoo likes getting free wine from johnny and jisung likes to buss it down after a shot of tequila ✊✨

other: red velvet appearances bc i figured it coudn’t all be testosterone. other artists too, rv is just more noticeable. cringey souncloud rapper(s) okay but yangyang is so cute, me and vivi discussed this! grandpa ™️ taeyong bc i figured he can’t keep up with his 22 kids ALL the time (he’s fostered rv for the sake of this fic). literal flirting all the time bc i don’t know how to act therefore yn doesn’t know how to act as s/t/he/y is a product of my brain. haechan wwe fights mark like he’s got paddypower setting the odds on him. yuta is ‘allergic’ to ordering his own ingredients,. sungchan is a certified f-boy (soft tho, he’s just mad he’s a busboy). shotaro is possibly my favourite and gets special treatment. mark makes me cry from laughter. dreamies are partiers (lol check their gc name, shoulda guessed). doyoung is an awful cook and more❗️

updated on whenever i get off work 😄

a/n: i just wanted something fun, possibly short, possibly long. it could be something i add to over time but it could also be something i finish within a month. like a chronicle. yeah. this is fun and the idea came to me after i read about a restaurant au somewhere else. i just figured i could draw off of my own experiences and my own awful humour; i enjoy restaurant type things bc i’ve worked in a couple over the years lol ♡

ask me about work!! like my real-life job besties. it’s loads of fun.

profiles wait staff [x], [x] bartenders & chefs [x] managers & busboys [x]

groupchats chivalry is dead: yn, doyoung, haechan, jungwoo, mark, taeil, yuta front of house b/himbos 💅: yn, jaehyun, johnny, joy, seulgi, taeil, yeri (+shotaro later on!) i’ve got a bad idea 🤩: yn, hendery, kun, lucas, xiaojun, yangyang (+mark later on!) party central: yn, chenle, haechan, jaemin, jeno, jisung, renjun (+sungchan later on!) ✨teamwork makes the dream work✨: yn, haechan, irene, kun, taeyong, ten, yuta

🍳 week one: chivalry is dead 🍳

🍳 part one [we bet shifts]

🍳 part two [i do work miracles] ft. fohb/h on twt

🍳 part three [he’s throwing up in there]

🍳 part four [i was experimenting] ft. fohb/h on twt

🍳 end of week round up [you little minx]

🥞 day off [x] new!

🍳 week two: front of house b/himbos 🍳

🍳 part five [this is what you get]

🍳 part six [you urchin] ft. cid on twt

🍳 part seven [coffee virgin cooler] ft. igabi on twt

🍳 part eight [unsolicited hand pics]

🍳 end of week round up [no man left behind]

🥞 day off [x] new!

🍳 week three: i’ve got a bad idea 🍳

🍳 part nine [poems with a beat] ft. cid new!

🍳 part ten [...]

🍳 part eleven [...] 

🍳 part twelve [...]

🍳 end of week round up [x]

🥞 day off [x]

🍳 week four: party central 🍳

🍳 part thirteen [fruit punch]

🍳 part fourteen […]

🍳 part fifteen [...]

🍳 part sixteen [...]

🍳 end of week round  up [x]

🥞 day off (quite a few) [x]

🍳 [loading…]

message me/drop an ask if you want to be on the tag list ❣️

tags: @stayinzencity @floraljae @thoreeo @alterlovess​ 

#kn ml #nct #nct imagine #nct x reader #nct x y/n #nct x you #nct restaurant au #nct 127 #nct sm au #nct 127 sm au #nct dream #nct wayv #nct u imagines #nct fake texts #nct fic #nct fanfic #nct mark #nct jaehyun #nct lucas #nct haechan #nct doyoung #nct jungwoo #nct johnny #nct kun #nct taeil #nct yuta #nct yangyang #nct xiaojun #nct taeyong #nct jisung

[jae-daddy]

Chubby (18)

Jaebum AU Series 

one / two / three / four / five / six / seven / eight / nine / ten / eleven / twelve / thirteen / fourteen / fifteen / sixteen / seventeen /  nineteen / twenty (final)

pairing: im jaebum x reader genre: angst, romance, mature plot: you are getting bullied and Im Jaebum (aka your crush) decides to help you, by fake dating you an: i know its so short, but girl, it was too cute for me to add other stuff lmao. hope yall enjoy it <3 not edited

“Jaebum,” you called out to the boy walking ahead of you. His dark tousled hair a mess from the frosty winter wind. He halted, his shoulders broad, the shopping bags in his hands swinging by his side to a stop. 

“What are you doing?” You asked, making him turn around and look at you. You were a step away from the door opening to his apartment, but you couldn’t go in. 

You couldn’t do this.

This whole day had been so confusing and painful. 

Every second made the hole in your heart get deeper. It felt as if someone kept wrenching the knife hanging from your chest tighter and harder as every second passed by with Im Jaebum on your side. 

And now, you were tired. You were so tired. 

“Jaebum,” you whispered, your voice breaking despite you trying to keep it together. Your throat closed around your words as you saw Jaebum’s shoulders fall. 

You knew he was pretending again today. Pretending that yesterday had never happened. That you had never asked him to stop whatever this fake dating facade was. 

But he did everything the same as he did every single day. 

You had opened your apartment door to a glaze-eyed Jaebum, who looked at you with so much warmth that you couldn’t tell him to go away. You took in his red nose, flush cheeks and dry pink lips, and you knew he had been waiting a long time for you. 

You couldn’t turn him away. 

You had thought maybe he’d want to talk on the way to school. But he didn’t talk to you about it. Instead, he gave you one of his earphones and played songs through the entire bus ride. 

His shoulders pressed against yours. His eyes tired, unfocused and lost in deep thought. 

You took him in the early winter sun and your heart melted at how beautiful he was. The morning sun didn’t shy away from his beauty. No, instead it made him glow, it made him look ethereal. 

His skin glistening in the early sunlight. His cheeks pink, his eyelashes dark and long casting shadows on his cheeks. His soft dark hair curling at his neck, making you want to lean over and run your fingers through them. 

You didn’t move.

You didn’t say anything. 

You didn’t say anything all throughout the school day. You knew if you tried, you wouldn't have been able to stop crying. So you swallowed your words and kept on fighting the tears threatening to escape. 

You didn’t look at Jenny the whole day. You didn’t even look at Jaebum properly; every time your eyes met his, you instantly tore away from his melting brown gaze. 

You couldn’t tell Jaebum that you knew about Jenny and him. You didn’t know if you had it in you to say those words. Just thinking about them, and this cruel game they were playing made you want to run away from everything. You didn’t know if you could say those words to Jaebum. 

You didn’t know if you could see his face change once he realised the gig was up. You didn’t want to see what he really was. You didn’t know if you could take getting hurt like that and come out on the other side alright. 

You had told him to stop. You told him to stop pretending, but there he stood. The shopping bags filled with ingredients for whatever meal he was planning on cooking for you tonight.

This wasn’t stopping. 

This was dragging the show on. This was hurting you further. This was cutting you up and then dragging you around as your blood ran dry. 

“Jaebum,” you whispered, your voice barely above a whisper. You were certain it was too quiet. You couldn’t speak any louder, you couldn’t do that as your lower lip trembled to hold in a sob. “What are you doing?”

The bags slipped out of his hands and landed on the wooden floor with a soft thud. 

His eyes took you in, and his heart broke. He knew something had happened, and you were hurt. He saw it in the sunken dark circles around your eyes, the rawness of your bottom lip, and the way your eyes made his heart wrench. 

He reached for you, taking a step to get closer to you. He stopped when you put out a hand to stop him. His hands fisted beside him. He wanted to hold your hands and kiss them. 

He wanted to hold you, to hug you, and make whatever was haunting you to go away. 

“I can’t,” you whispered, your voice barely above a breath, but Jaebum heard it. Jaebum always heard you. You lifted your gaze to meet his concerned eyes. 

You couldn’t look at him, and the way he was looking at you. It made you feel weak, but it also made you feel angry. He was so good at this pretending to care about you, that his gaze that would have otherwise melted you felt like poison. 

“Why did you chose me?” You asked him, your voice finding some lost strength in your anger. “You could’ve chosen any girl to pretend to date, then why me?” 

This was the best you could do. This was the most you could ask without saying that Jaebum broke your heart by playing that dirty game with Jenny. 

That he only did this all to hurt you. 

The timing of everything was a bit too convenient to be a coincidence. 

“So many girls had confessed to you on Valentine’s day, so why me?” 

Jaebum looked away from your eyes, he couldn’t answer. He knew the truth would hurt you, and he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t tell you, not yet. Not like this. 

As the minutes passed by, the anger dissipated as darkness settled inside you. Your body slumped, your shoulders falling as a tear fall from your eyes.

“I can’t keep on pretending,” you gulped, pushing back a sob, you shifted your eyes to the tomatoes that had tumbled out of the green shopping bags. “I don’t have it in me. I can’t.”

Jaebum stayed quiet for a moment before he walked towards you again. This time you didn’t stop him. He kept walking until he was outside with you. 

The cold winter wind ripped around you both as he stood right in front of you. You felt the heat of his body seep into you, his warm breath brushed the top of your head as you kept your eyes low. 

“I can’t pretend anymore too,” he whispered, his voice low, heavy and filled with emotion. 

You lifted your eyes to meet his, and something about the way they glistened held you captive. You couldn’t look away, you couldn’t convince yourself that his eyes had even an ounce of deceit. All you saw in them was warmth, love and care. 

Jaebum swallowed nervously, his fingertips lightly brushing the inside of your wrists. Your chest heaved as your cheeks tainted pink. 

Your eyelashes shadowed on your cheeks as they fluttered close, shying away from Jaebum’s intense gaze. 

His fingertips were light and feather-like. But everywhere it touched ignited fire. It ran through your veins and raced into your mind and heart, painting everything in a hazy pink and rose. 

He took a step closer, his chest brushing against yours. His fingertips spreading on your palms as he laced his fingers through yours. 

He leaned his forehead against yours, closing his eyes. 

He stayed like that for a moment before letting out an exhausted sigh. 

“I’m not pretending anymore.” He whispered, as he let go of your hands and placed his searing hands on your waist, bringing your body closer to his. His leaned forward, his nose rubbing against yours, his warm breath dancing on your lips. 

“No more pretending, y/n,” Jaebum whispered as he placed a light kiss on your cheeks. His lips a breath away from yours. 

“This is real.” He placed another, his lips closer. 

“I love you,” Jaebum pressed his lips against yours.

#jaebum #im jaebum #jaebeom #im jaebeom #lim jaebeom #jaebum fanfic #fanfic #got7 fanfic #got7 jaebum #angst #fluff #got7 angst #got7 fluff #jaebum angs #jaebum fluff #bullying #finallyyyyy #hope y'all like it #jaedaddy #chubby

[engagemachine]

I have nowhere else to put this. I need to say this. 

These past two weekends at work have been utterly beyond my comprehension and have nearly pushed me to my limit. I’ve had patients in restraints for the past two weekends in a row now, and the mixture of verbal/physical abuse from these patients and others has been so emotionally taxing, I just don’t even know where I can lay down this exhaustion and this frustration and this hurt. 

Our chronic understaffing issue has started to reach a boiling point. Last Saturday I had seven patients, which in some states is illegal (for reference, 5 patients on the kind of unit that I work on is considered normal, and 6 is the max that one nurse can have). Additionally, this past Friday, we went without a charge nurse and we didn’t have a tech (normally we have three to four techs because I work on a 40-bed unit, so each tech has ten patients each). My back has never been as sore as it is now from having to do so much heavy lifting this weekend without any help. Imagine changing multiple patients over 200 lbs all by yourself, multiple times, within a twelve hour shift. 

Last night in particular was so stressful that I found myself snapping at my coworkers -- which is so unlike me and something that I never do -- and even worse, I snapped at and was short with a patient who had been very irritating and especially demanding. This is not the kind of person that I am. I am not a person who snaps at their coworkers and their patients when I’m feeling overwhelmed. I’m not unflappable but any means, but I make a point of leaving my stress outside the door every time I walk into a patient’s room. I know that my stress is not their burden to bear. These patients are already sick/suffering, the last thing I want to do is add to their stress by coming into their private space with my own personal storm cloud hanging over my head. They have enough to worry about and their primary focus should be on healing. I never want to carry negative energy like that into a space where I am actively trying to take care of/love/heal/protect/educate/support/comfort the people I am taking care of. 

I can’t help feeling so angry at myself for my behavior and for allowing myself to slip so openly. I know I reacted this way because I was stressed and angry, but that is no excuse. And I also can’t help but feel bitter over the fact that the reason I’m so stressed is because we are lacking the resources/supplies/staff that are necessary in order for me to effectively do my job. 

I’m also so sick and tired of all the hospital politics and the beaurocracy of working for a big corporation... a corporation that does not care about its employees and whose primary focus is money. I know the nurse shortage we’re going through at our hospital is an ongoing issue that is being faced nationwide, but something absolutely has to be done in order to get staffing to where it needs to be, otherwise nurses will be leaving hospitals in droves, or will simply exit the profession all together from burn-out.

And it’s just... all this little stuff, too, all these things that occur that keep piling up that no one ever does anything about and no disciplinary action is taken because we’re so desperate for nurses and can’t afford to fire anybody. Some of the nurses I work with have adopted an attitude where they they feel like they can do anything they want without repercussion, because they know they won’t get fired because we’re so understaffed. We had a nurse walk out one night after receiving report which should result in having your nursing license revoked or, at the very least, result in some form of licensure suspension. Leaving during your shift -- even if at the beginning of a shift -- is considered abandonment/neglect of your patients. That nurse should have been fired after that, and she wasn’t. 

It is downright unconscionable that we should have to be responsible for seven patients. You cannot take good, quality care of that many patients at one time. It’s just impossible -- and it’s so unsafe. Imagine having a patient with sepsis whose blood pressure is tanking and who has spiked a fever/is quickly becoming unresponsive, another patient with schizophrenia who is hallucinating and being violent, another patient who has dementia and is confused, who has a feeding tube, a tracheostomy that requires frequent suctioning (this is a sterile procedure), a colostomy, a Foley catheter, and is in two-point restraints, which requires documentation three times every hour. And then imagine another patient who is going through Benzo withdrawals and needing around-the-clock medication and is also on seizure precautions, and another patient who is confused and is a fall risk and keeps trying to crawl out of the bed, and another patient who is vomiting and needs an antiemetic and possibly an NG tube, and another patient who is post-op and requiring pain medication for 7 out of 10 pain -- and imagine trying to take care of all of these things at the same time. Imagine going thirteen hours without peeing, eating, or drinking, simply because there is no time. That was me last weekend. It’s crazy to imagine the stress of having that many human lives in your hands, to be so busy and so stressed out that you literally do not even have five minutes to go to the bathroom because there is so much to do and you cannot afford to sit down. 

Or the fact that there’s a nurse on day shift who has nearly killed two separate patients on two different occasions, a nurse who refuses to do the basic necessities/tasks required by her job, has the nastiest attitude imaginable, and has been written up so many times by staff and patients that her personal folder is roughly as thick as the Oxford dictionary... and they still won’t fire her. 

And the way I keep catching nurses in blatant lies, nurses who have documented that they’ve done something when they haven’t. Just last night I saw a nurse had documented that she had administered a medication when I know she hadn’t because the medication was still sealed in its original box and I was the first one to open it. She did this for two days. Like... how can you even live with yourself, telling a lie like that? 

When I managed to take my lunch break this morning around 4am, I was near tears in the breakroom talking to my coworker because I just felt so overwhelmed and at my whit’s end. I’d gotten into a spat with my supervisor just a few minutes prior over something that she said had not been documented correctly (even though a different supervisor last week said that it had to be done the opposite way, and at that time, I’d had to stay late to correct this “mistake”) and now my supervisor this morning was telling me it had to be done the opposite way from what I’d been told, and there’s no clear hospital policy on how the documentation should be done... it’s so irritating. 

There is honestly so much more. I could write an entire novel about the stress of my job -- but I hope I don’t sound ungrateful, because I do love my job, I really do. I love caring for people more than anything, and if there’s one positive takeaway from all of this, it’s that, despite our lack of staff, some of my patients have been so gracious and understanding, and so many of my patients have been very expressive of how grateful they’ve been for my care, telling me I’m an angel/the best nurse they’ve had/telling me they wish that I didn’t have to leave. That’s very sweet. 

Emotionally, though, I just feel so spent. Like I’ve given everything I can and I have nothing more left because it’s been siphoned out of me. And there are weird things going on in my life with some of my personal relationships that have caused me an unnecessary amount of stress/insecurity and it’s frustrating that I feel like I can’t talk to the other person(s) about it because I am afraid of sounding needy/jealous/ungrateful. I pride myself on communicating the things that I want/need, but sometimes it just seems like it’s easier to let it go. I almost convince myself that they could never give me what I need even if I were to ask for it, but it’s also too painful to ask for something and then not get it.

I’m just so tired. I want to be positive and uplifting, but I don’t know where this road is supposed to take me. I don’t know if maybe I am being called to find work elsewhere or if this is an experience I am supposed to grow from and that is meant to make me stronger. I just really don’t know. 

#text #my ask box is very full and I promise I will be getting to your messages as soon as I can #I am not ignoring any of you #just very very emotionally spent #and needed to put this down #if this is riddled with typos it's because I just got off work and I haven't gone to bed yet