#+ I hate the way I always blow things out of proportion.

[sevicia]

I 🩷 whining & bitching & moaning

yk how yesterday I was the one who ended up giving Mila the pill? well my sister's awake now and decided she was gonna do it (didn't even ask me) while I handed her treats and it took a bunch of tries too. & I don't think I would've gotten it 1st try either, but I know exactly how it goes when I wanna do something she doesn't think I'm capable of: she just doesn't let me do it. it's happened time & time again so I didn't even ask this time cause literally what's the point .....

everyone in my house constantly infantilizes me and genuinely seems to believe I can't do anything by myself. I'm going to a thing from uni about 1st year students (such as me) familiarizing themselves w/ the school campus & other introductory activities on Tuesday & my mom really anxiously told me we (her & I) should try to go to uni before that just so I'd know how to get there, when the route I have to take is literally just home -> bus stop -> metro -> get off -> walk 5 min in a straight line. I told her no, that I would be fine just getting there by myself on Tuesday and she reluctantly agreed.

+ a few days ago I overhead my dad talking about gifting me some money for some reason I'm not sure about, and my sister very seriously told him to just give it to our mom instead so she'd manage it for me, and he agreed. Her argument was that I'd just spend it too quickly which I understand cause I did that all the time when I was in highschool. Which was 3 years ago.

IDK like even when I try to do something I'm usually not capable of doing (mainly cooking), I'll ask a bunch of questions to make sure I'm doing it right to the point they get annoyed w/ me & just do it themselves like "you're too nervous just be more confident and do it already" meanwhile whenever I did things "confidently" in the past I always managed to fuck them up somehow and then get treated like I'm stupid and no one has made the connection that maybe when you constantly tell someone they're stupid while they're trying something new, they'll just stop trying .... ? because they don't want to be called stupid .... ?

It's also made me actually really adverse to try anything by myself cause I find I start thinking "someone else's gonna do it and even if I tried I'd just make it worse", but I don't feel that way when I'm home alone / away from home, it's literally just when I know I'm being judged by people who know me and are around me all the time

& when I manage to get something right I sometimes get praised but most of the time it's just "well you should've been able to do that a long time ago!" and like I know that it's true and that I'm not a dog that should get a treat for every new trick he learns but I just don't want it to be dismissed like that yk .... like just tell me "good job" or smth

I also think getting treated like a child all the time really makes my perception of myself as inherently unattractive / underisable a lot worse because I've just started to believe that everyone sees me as a kid so no one in their right mind would ever be attracted to me ykwim ? the fact that I'm relatively short doesn't help either

the way I get treated like a stupid child while also having adult expectations put on me is always so confusing, like I'm being pulled in 10 different directions and I enjoy none of them

+ I feel like even MORE of a brat for even complaining about this in the first place cause I've heard people say "man I WISH I had someone who did everything for me" and it just makes me feel horrible bc maybe I should be grateful that they care & worry about me so much and I'm just whining over nothing again

"how are you gonna survive when I'm gone ?!?!" from my mom and "you'll literally just die the second you move out" from my sister and "don't even try, it's too dangerous" from my dad and I just keep quiet because I can't even prove them wrong because they're not wrong. I CAN'T do anything by myself and I AM slow at everything (which is just me trying to avoid calling myself stupid) and I AM lazy and have no common sense.

maybe this is the reason most of my daydreams consist of me being like 30 and living on my own lol

#diary #long post #well when I was like 15 I was in my mid-twenties inside the daydream / fantasy #but I'm already 20 so I don't think that's gonna pan out. #and being realistic it's probably not gonna happen even after I'm 30and I'm trying to accept that #that I'm never gonna be able to fully become an adult and actually enjoy life as an adult and I'll miss out on everything #the same way I never did anything when I was a teen #I hate it when I start whining like this but I feel safer posting it here cause at least I can't see anyone roll their eyes at me #+ I hate the way I always blow things out of proportion. #I never know if what I'm feeling bad about is THAT serious or if it actually happened how I remember it I just doubt myself so much

[kindnessoverperfection]

I've found that, when interacting with others (or myself), it's useful to consider the lessons I'd want to teach a growing child.

If a child makes a mistake, I wouldn't want them to feel shame. I wouldn't yell at them, humiliate them, or in any way indicate to them that their mistake is a reflection of their worth or of who they are as a person.

Instead, I'd want them to associate the process with love and joy. If they say something that hurts someone's feelings, or otherwise ostracizes someone in some way, I'd compassionately explain to them. Ideally, they'd walk away knowing why they said / did it in the first place, how to handle similar situations in the future, and would accept the consequences (e.g. if a friend no longer wanted to hang out with them).

While the consequences may sometimes be painful, I'd do my best to instill in them that mistakes are human and natural, and that the process of learning from these mistakes is an opportunity to improve connections with others and express love.

I have a tendency towards excessive guilt. Memories in which I've said / done something ignorant or hurtful are infused with this guilt and shame- but ideally, I'd feel a sense of love and peace, and perhaps happiness, when looking back on them. Because they were moments of growth, moments I learned how to be more compassionate (even if the actual learning came years later).

So I'll put this out into the void:

When you make a mistake, that is not a reflection of you as a person. It is a moment in time, a moment which was informed by your past experiences. Humans are not static labels, or monsters in an RPG game. We are social creatures who live and learn and react and grow and experience and love. Be gentle with yourself and move forward knowing you're doing so in accordance with your values.

#parenting #internet culture #self compassion #i'd also want to teach them critical thought of course - there are varying ideas of what constitutes mistakes or ignorance or harm #and that's a messy subject which is often a challenge to teach and is beyond the scope of this post but it's important #to avoid being subject to manipulation or becoming reactionary #but anyways #to clarify something in the tags here: it's okay of course to feel bad. that's a normal response. but it's not necessary. and a culture of #shaming people for their mistakes isn't helpful in the same ways it isn't helpful to do that to a child. people become defensive and/or #self-hating. divisive and reactionary and more easily manipulated. fearful and ashamed and avoidant. afraid of disagreements or of trying #anything new. increased all-or-nothing thinking and blowing things out of proportion. it just doesn't help in the long run #sometimes when someone says something i want to express hatred and mockery towards; i think of my trans friend who's full of light and love #and compassion. who came from a smaller more conservative community and used to have some of those same stances (and may still hold some of #those feelings/anxieties). and i remember that i can be firm on my boundaries and spread love and acceptance and safety *without* spewing #vitriol at anyone who makes even a minor mistake. i want people who were impacted by oppression and bias to have space to grow and #find safe communities and be able to think for themselves. i dont want to push them away or be another person in their life screaming at #them. there's always a person behind the screen. #like that doesnt mean i have to interact with them. in fact in most cases it's better to step away. and there are still unsafe people out #there- but yelling at them won't do any good either. saw a tip to focus on the people you want to help rather than the opposition #and that's been super helpful for me

[catcze]

Oh man the brain is not in a good place rn ⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️

#「 🐈‍⬛ 」 strawberry.milk #I don’t Even know if it’s actually a big deal or if I’m just paranoid of making mistakes and am blowing it out of proportion in my head ⁉️⁉️ #fuck man I hate it when this happens because it keep me wide awake and second guessing everything I’ve said and done the entire day #LMAOOOOOO #accidentally offending/hurting someone because I intended my statement to b a joke and it ended up landing poorly is literally a nightmare. #and if I realize to late I’m always so scared that they secretly hate me then and that they never want to talk to me again. #I’ll spend my whole day second guessing everything I’ve said and done and ill blow it out of proportion and I’ll think that every thing #that I’ve done has hurt or offended someone in some way and that sucks #it makes me want to rip my skin off lowk ⁉️ like I hate the thought of offending someone just from my negligence tbh #HI This is a cry for help if I ever say or do something stupid please tell me so I can remedy it and peacefully solve stuff and not #find out too late and go insane with doubting myself and convincing myself I’m a terrible person HAHHAHAH #if I ever take too long to respond. or if I delete a reply/chat I’ve sent days after I sent it. that’s why HHAHAHHAHHAHAHA

[dylanconrique]

i'm here, and i'm going to face my fears of cleaning out my long forgotten inbox. wish me luck....

#*and this is icarly! #i hate myself for having ignored them for so long #but i'm just going to make myself even more anxious by putting it off any longer it's already been eating me alive #it really should not be this big a deal but that's bpd brain for ya #always blowing things way out of proportion no matter what the context

[jensettermandu]

fish that drown - huh yunjin

content; smut, slight angst, fluff (kind of), a little plot

pairing; g!p yunjin x female reader

content; implications of an unhealthy relationship, praising, blowjob, p in v :D, slightly rough (?), a slight size thing (Y/n being/having smaller proportions than yunjin??), bulging, Y/n calls her Jen, small age gap (y/n is younger by two years), probably everything

synopsis; together it feels like drowning in the best way possible because anything above the surface feels too cold for them despite it burning whenever they drown together. each time they give each other another chance as they find back to each other with nothing but love forgetting everything that made them leave to begin with.

wc; 7k+

masterlist

Each second was tantalising, it was filled with dim colours seeping through the smogged window with raindrops holding the lights of the outside in them. Each breath was a promise of another second to live and chances for more empty promises. The promise of breaking habits to make it work despite them being routines that stayed forever. It was the comfort of now rather than the worries of tomorrow, knowing it would be a cycle forever. 

Arms securely wrapped around Y/n as they lay together as if they had a forever together. As if they would grow old together and love each other through thick and thin, but they had always been walking a thin line between love and hate. 

It was the problem of falling for each other’s flowers, but never taking time to get to know the roots. It got difficult to figure out what to do when fall came and everything crumbled, the petals falling and blowing away with the wind, all that was left was a promise of coming back by spring. 

“Yunjin, I seriously have to go.” She tried because despite them being securely wrapped around her, it didn’t mean that they were home. Certain places would just never feel like a home no matter how much of a home they were. It could be their natural habitat, but they would always be prey and that made it difficult to feel at home. It was still hard to let go especially when the place appealed so much to one and they wished for it to be theirs only.

Was spring close?

“Stay, I want you to stay, Y/n–” Yunjin sighed, her fingers brushing over the younger girl’s spine as she turned over to reach to the floor for her clothes. Her palm smoothed over Y/n’s waist and like painting someone with scorching metal she slid it over to her stomach, leaving her every touch to linger forever on Y/n’s body. It was like empty canvases and when they met they became the artwork that was only visible through their eyes. “We can go out in the morning and talk.” She suggested and the feline in her arms exhaled as she got pulled back into her. 

Y/n’s body was dwelling in the fire, every part of her was enjoying it, her heart was beating heavily because the feelings Yunjin made her feel were heavy from how much she felt with the ginger. Her brain was the only rational thing at the moment, but rationality was a curse when they were together and jumping head-first into the unknown waters was more thrilling than dipping toes to test them. The best thing about it was the lily pads that looked pretty on the surface but were more beautiful from under the water when they tangled around their limbs and dragged them down further with no chance of escape. 

Spring had come and Y/n knew that she wasn’t leaving and neither was Yunjin.

“My members’ are going to strangle me if I am not back at the dorm tonight.” She mumbled, opening her phone to see that she had already received texts wondering when she would be back. It wasn’t the going out that was the problem, it was the limbs she got tangled in that were and they were either fed up or they cared too much to continue watching their friends drown. A mix of both perhaps. 

Neither of the two could help it. They just knew the second that they met that they would fall in love with each other shortly and they did. 

The colours from above the water looked so much prettier from under the surface where they drowned in each other. 

“Tell them you’re staying over then.” 

That only meant that they were set in stone that had grown moss, scraping it away to reveal their names together again.

Y/n stared at her phone while Yunjin’s hand ran over her stomach, caressing the soft and smooth skin that was warm. The redhead's lips slowly started to trail kisses along her shoulder while grabbing hold of Y/n’s waist, pulling the girl closer to her because no amount of closeness was ever enough. 

“They will kill me if I do that–” Y/n was interrupted by her phone that started to buzz as she was receiving a call. It made Yunjin glance up at the phone screen while propping herself up on her arm beside Y/n’s head. The girl declined the call with Yunjin going right back to engraving herself on her skin with delicate kisses that were like the flapping of a butterfly's wings as she kissed up to the girl’s neck. 

Y/n declined the call once again because she would have difficulty deciding if she should tell the truth or lie to Jimin. She was quite sure her members would give her an earful after watching her cry for the past two months. 

They told Y/n to forget about Yunjin and everything she did and to move on. 

Y/n did and so she ended up right back with Yunjin after forgetting why she left to begin with as she had moved on from the bad. 

They both forgot why they left and only saw the good and it was enough to get back in the waters together. 

0:22

jimin> answer

0:22

> what is it?

0:23

jimin> answer the call

0:24

> why??

0:24

jimin> because i told you to answer?

Y/n glanced away from the phone and at their reflections in the big glass windows where water was trickling down, illuminating the city lights with the sky shedding tears. It was cold outside which made it so much more difficult to leave when she was drowning in Yunjin’s warmth. Each breath was filled with the scent that filled their lungs, it was like falling, but not through the sky, there was no pressure in the fall. It was like slowly drowning. 

It was agonisingly gratifying to be with each other.

Her fingers tangled in the red hair as Yunjin wrapped her arm around Y/n’s waist, holding her against her body. The older let out a humid hum that painted Y/n’s skin with goosebumps before she pushed her face into the crook of her neck, her kisses wet and languid. 

The feline eyes left the window where she had watched the two bodies slowly get prepared for the dance that took two again, knowing that neither was leaving. She looked at her phone when it started to vibrate in her hold again.

“You can just tell the truth and we won’t have to run around hiding.” She couldn’t help but whisper and put her thoughts in Y/n’s head. 

It made Y/n sigh as she knew that it would be better to just say the truth. She’s been seeing Yunjin again after yet another break-up that was supposed to be the final goodbye. It felt impossible to say goodbyes when all they did was end up together the next time they ran into each other or thought too much of the other. The past two weeks had been spent hiding from their members, sneaking to restaurants, on dates, and to hotels after and now Yunjin had gotten Y/n into her group dorm. 

They hadn’t been home and when they did get there no one bothered checking who exactly Yunjin brought over. Y/n hadn’t thought far enough to think about how she would leave, but probably early at dawn. 

How long could they hide their spring from everyone else?

“Do you genuinely think that’s a good idea?” 

“No.” 

Y/n hummed and answered the phone call at last.

There was no way to emancipate from this because love made them willing slaves. 

“It’s late and you just left hours ago without a word. Where are you?”

Y/n knew that she never usually left without a word, but she didn’t know what lies to tell anymore. It felt unfair to both of them, but the girl was scared of receiving disappointed looks from her friends who had been there for her after she had cried herself to sleep every night. Y/n felt horrible for shedding so many tears, putting them under her gloomy cloud only to end up with the cause of it again.

“I'm not with Yunjin.” 

Somehow she felt the need to defend herself because she didn’t want to think to herself that she was with the girl again. It had been on and off for three years and at some point it had to be enough, didn’t it? It wasn’t time for it yet though. Their love had yet to die. 

“I didn’t think you would be either.”

“Why not?” 

She frowned somewhere between relieved and disappointed that Jimin didn’t think that she was with her ex-girlfriend. Perhaps the hurt of thinking that she had moved on and would see someone else just like Yunjin. She wasn’t ready to see someone else, she was even less ready to see Yunjin with someone else. The only people they were seeing were each other with the past forgotten and all the reasons why they left to begin with. That had been the point all along, to forget what the other had done which only ended with reasons to get back together. 

“You make it sound like you want me to think it.”

“I’m just curious why you are so sure.”

“Minjeong was talking with Chaewon to see if you were there, but she told her that Yunjin had someone over.”

It went silent, the girl on the other end waiting for Y/n to talk who looked down at Yunjin in the neon shades and colours that seeped through the windows. It was all she could see whenever she was with her, all the colours and the shades, they were comforting and made her feel safe. The colours that Yunjin painted her with were her comfort. 

“Oh.” Was all she was able to get out, thinking about how relieved everyone seemed that the two weren’t together. 

“I’m sorry, I maybe shouldn’t have–”

“No, no, it’s fine, I’m more than fine.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.” 

Y/n reassured her because she was fine in the end, she was with Yunjin and she didn’t need to be anywhere else. She liked these cold waters that her skin got used to, they felt warm, and they filled her lungs and burned which caused so much warmth to course through them. There was no escaping it as they were tangled in each other while sinking to the bottom of waters that were their home, that they should swim in, but the second one of them tried to swim the other got pushed down further and grasped onto harder which made them both only sink further into each other. There was no swimming away from the other and leaving them behind in the perfectly blue ocean with twinges of red. 

“Okay, that’s good to hear. When are you coming home then? You never said where you went.” 

“I will be home in the morning, I’m with Hanni.” 

“Okay then, goodnight, Y/n.”

“Goodnight.” 

She dropped her phone on the bed and huffed when Yunjin pulled away from her neck, their legs tangling, it was just them behind the curtains. “I miss you during the day,” Yunjin mumbled as she was unable to get enough of Y/n now that she felt like she somewhat had her back. Her hands held onto the girl’s waist whose fingers trailed along her collarbones as they laid on their sides while looking at each other. 

“Me too,” it had always been a problem, but no matter what they tried to do their arrogance got in the way. The other’s schedule had to sound more important than the others even if it was just about replying to texts a little too late. 

Yunjin smiled, her eyes trailing over every feature on Y/n’s face, her gaze tender enough to feel like it was caressing the younger’s face. It wasn’t enough though, she loved feeling Y/n’s skin under her fingertips, the way it reacted like water to raindrops, letting her sink in and become part of her. Her fingers ran over Y/n’s cheek before brushing hair strands behind her ear.

“What did you miss the most?” Y/n questioned and Yunjin let out a breathless chuckle. 

The redhead propped herself up on her elbow and Y/n stared up at her, laying under the gaze of eyes that held her reflection like water. The girl cupped the feline under her jaw and leaned down, her lips tenderly falling against Y/n’s, pecking them with lingering feelings that never washed away as they were the wet sand at the bottom that would always be there. 

“The way you make me feel like I’m listening to Pink Floyd, it’s like drowning in another world from how psychedelic it feels…It feels unreal with you, Y/n.”

Y/n was sure that there would be waves around her if she were to be in actual water right now from how Yunjin’s words made her heart beat faster and harder. She was the oxygen in a place where there was none such as the bottom of a deep blue ocean of feelings that could be suffocating.

“What songs?” 

“‘Hey You’ and ‘Breathe’.” 

“Of course.” 

Y/n giggled and pushed Yunjin over before straddling her, the covers falling off their bodies and resting behind them. The girl couldn’t help but run her hands over Y/n’s body and feel the skin against hers. She trailed along her waist up and down, feeling the outline of the girl's ribs, feeling each reaction, each nerve that let Y/n know how good Yunjin made her feel. 

“I also missed you just this way, when it’s just us and no one else, especially naked.” 

There truly was nothing greater as Y/n leaned down and kissed Yunjin, closing her eyes and letting the current pull her further down. It felt too good, the cold water against warm skin was soothing, and the colours that would break through the surface, the reflection of the sun during the day and the moon at night. Those things that looked so beautiful, brought sentimental memories, that was what their love felt like. 

Their heads tilted, Y/n parted her lips and let Yunjin press her tongue against hers. It was languid with notes of desire and longing because they had yet to get enough since they started to see each other again. After every time apart, they only grew stronger feelings for each other. The only witness of their love right now were the silent raindrops falling down the window. With passion they tangled with each other, the heat growing as soft sounds started to occupy the room. 

“Fuck–” Yunjin breathed out, her hand tangling itself in the feline’s hair at the back of her head, pulling her back slightly as her lungs burned from how there was no air underwater. She tried to gasp for it, but they always stole every little bit of oxygen around each other. “I missed having you right here,” her voice was almost withering from how much her chest was already heaving, looking Y/n right in the eye as their breaths brushed against their lips. Right here meant in the confines of a safe space that was more than their arms, a room where they had spent countless nights talking, crying, shouting, loving, hating, and sinking. 

The walls were engraved with their love. 

“I know–” Y/n replied, fully aware that the girl had missed her and missed engraving their names on any space left on these walls. She pecked Yunjin’s lips, the girl trying to chase after them by raising her head but she didn’t get the chance. “I missed being right here with you.” Y/n’s walls were witness to those words, knowing how many nights she’d spent crying over the emptiness she felt of not having heavy waves wash over her and drag her into the warmth of Yunjin. 

It didn’t work to be apart. 

Yunjin dropped her head back down as Y/n started to pour her kisses over her skin, it was like a shower of sin, but it was also her salvation as it healed just as much as it scarred. The girl kissed Yunjin’s neck, softly moving her lips, trailing them along her pulsating veins while wetting them with her tongue. The older one hummed at the tender kisses that Y/n left on her skin, making her close her eyes to truly dwell on the feeling.

She reached Yunjin’s collarbones, it was almost like walking carelessly into things the way Y/n sucked on her skin and left marks along her collarbones, gracing her with art made from love and passion. Her hands were soothing over Yunjin’s shoulders, the skin was like powder from how soft it felt while she kissed further down. The girl under her was heaving for breath from how good it felt to be covered with Y/n’s kisses who went down her body, glancing up to see Yunjin looking down at her expectantly with her wet lips parted in anticipation. 

Y/n’s tongue came out, licking a stripe up Yunjin’s stomach that sucked in from the feeling, eyes connected through the blur that everything became so deep under and in the emotions. There was a twinkle in Yunjin’s eyes, a pleading one as she pushed herself up with Y/n in her lap. Her hand pushed back the silky hair as she kissed her lips before kissing along her cheek and over to Y/n’s ear.

“Be good and take me into your mouth, Y/n.” It was somewhere between a request and a soft command. Fingers ran over the girl’s spine down to her ass before Yunjin gripped it, her lips sucking right where Y/n’s pulse point was, feeling the sigh that the feline let out right by her ear. 

She manoeuvred them around in the bed until she sat at the edge. With fluidity Y/n crawled down Yunjin’s lap, finding herself between her legs while looking up at the ginger who licked her lips. Her eyes were glued to Y/n, never missing a second of the girl whenever they were with each other.

A shaky breath fell from between Yunjin’s lips when Y/n wrapped her hand around her semi-hard cock. The minx bit her lower lip slowly pumping the thick member that was scalding in her hand, her tongue stuck out, looking up through her lashes for approval that she always got through Yunjin’s eyes no matter what they were doing. A deep hum escaped Yunjin at the way Y/n licked along her tip, tongue running over the slit and collecting the leaking salty pre-cum. 

“Use your mouth well, angel so I can love you good after.” Her voice was thick with need, gruffly, her hand coming into Y/n’s hair, pushing it away from her face and holding it back for her. For a split second her eyes glance at the window, eyes falling on Y/n’s silhouette on the floor, looking like a real feline with her perfect ridges as she was on the floor on her knees. Y/n’s silhouette would always stay behind, it would always swim in Yunjin’s mind, moving gracefully and making the ginger drown in her. 

Y/n pumped up one last time, more precum slowly oozed from the slit on the pinkish tip and she parted her lips. Her eyes closed at the approving hum that came from Yunjin when she started to circle with her tongue, taking in inch by inch into her mouth before suckling back up, her hand stroking the rest.

The movement was enough to make Yunjin’s breathing grow heavier, occupying the room together with the wet sounds of Y/n’s mouth messily working along her length. “Such a good and messy doll.” The praises spilled through her mouth the same way spit ran down Y/n’s chin. The younger moved her hand down, cupping the pair of balls that were hard and heavy with cum in her palm. 

The grip on her hair tightened, and faint moans started to spill from Yunjin’s mouth at the warm mouth that worked her length. She leaned back against her palm while looking down at Y/n through hooded eyes. The girl bobbed her head, stroking her cock while hollowing her cheeks, the suction making the ginger roll her eyes back and whine at how good it felt. 

“So good, baby doll.” She breathed out, and her hand slowly pushed Y/n further down her cock as the pleasure was overwhelming her senses. It made her toes curl when she hit the back of Y/n’s throat without the girl gagging, her balls getting toyed with in the gentle hand. Tongue trailing over the bulging vein, circling her tip and showering it with the most attention as it was sensitive.  

The minx of a girl pulled away to catch her breath, her hand worked along the throbbing cock, her tongue licking at the tip and down the base. The work was sloppy just the way Yunjin loved it as only Y/n could make her head get light and stomach tie knots so tight that when they snapped she went numb. 

Y/n took her cock back into her mouth, tongue flat against the thick vein that was pulsating, hot in her mouth. The minx moaned, opening her throat for Yunjin to deep-throat her cock. It was enough to elicit a whimper from the ginger who tightened her grip on Y/n even more. It made her hold the girl down, Y/n’s nose tickling her pelvis for a second. She pulled back, sucking hard, making the other get dizzy at how good it felt and she pulled away, quickly going back down. 

Y/n looked up through her lashes at Yunjin who was now letting moans spill from her mouth without any resistance, but she tried to keep them low enough to not get in trouble. The girl wasn’t stopping and the knot was starting to tear to snap at last which Y/n was able to tell by how Yunjin’s breathing got deeper, her moans turning breathy and her balls tightening in Y/n’s hand. 

“Close ‘m so close.” She gasped, her body convulsing as her eyes closed and a deep frown covered her eyebrows, pushing Y/n’s head down with her thighs trembling. Breathless sounds fell from her mouth. The tip twitched in Y/n’s mouth, hips stuttering and cum shot in thick ropes down her throat, the salty taste barely managing to linger on her tongue as she swallowed down everything right away. The suction made Yunjin groan and Y/n slowly pulled away as the grip on her hair loosened.

“So perfect and so good for me,” the ginger mumbled as Y/n used one of the discarded shirts on the floor and wiped her mouth before Yunjin pulled her up to her feet. The girl stood between her legs, their fingers hooked and she guided Y/n back into her lap. Her hand reached to Y/n’s face, cupping her cheek and using her thumb to run over her wet lips. “You’re the prettiest and best girl I’ve had in my life.” She pecked Y/n’s lips with that and the girl shook her head with a small smile. 

“Don’t say that.” It warmed her too much and then hurt twice as much when she became the prettiest and most hated girl she’s ever had in her life. 

“Why not? It’s the truth.” 

“Just don’t, you have so many other women in your life you should put first.” Y/n refused to believe again that Yunjin would ever even consider putting her first. That was why she knew better than to say those words herself to the ginger, knowing that she would never be able to put Yunjin first either. That had always been a problem and that had always been a reason to give up and try again because what if?

The longer she stared at Yunjin’s gazing like star eyes that were sparkling the harder it got to say no to being her perfect, pretty, and best girl. The easier it got to accept the fact that within a few months, she would be pretty, but far from perfect and best. 

“I only want to put you first because I have you right here.”

“Don’t be selfish when it comes to me.” 

Yunjin chuckled, but maybe she was aware that Y/n would never truly belong to her and she would never truly belong to Y/n. They belonged to the hungry sharks that swam past their sinking bodies, trashing them and disturbing the peace that they felt in drowning, but they weren’t allowed to die in peace when it came to their love. 

Words made moments more memorable at times, but actions made them bearable and so Y/n leaned in and kissed the older girl. It felt right to be more than sinking stars and be able to be hungry sharks for each other. Yunjin’s hands gripped onto the girl's ass, fingertips digging into the lissom flesh while pulling Y/n’s smaller body closer to her. 

Among a sea where they were prey, they were also predators, but only to each other. That carnal desire struck as they wanted to dig into each other’s skin and colour the ocean red with love. Their flesh was tender for each other, unlike the tough exterior that they had on for everyone else. It made it so much easier to devour and dwell in as it tasted of greedy passion that was only reserved for the other. 

Y/n moaned and gasped into Yunjin’s mouth, their tongues tangling and sucking each other in. Nails scratched along the side of Yunjin’s neck while another worked her semi-hard length back to life. It got past a stage of just love and went to a stage that mixed with desires stronger than love, more dangerous because it hurt much more after. 

They pulled away to move onto the middle of the bed again and Y/n pushed Yunjin down, getting on top of the older. She grabbed hold of her hard cock that was throbbing in her hold, the heat between her legs strong as the feline ached for release. Yunjin watched Y/n lift her hips, her eyes falling on the girl’s slick tiny cunt and her stomach flexed as the younger ran her bulbous tip through her folds. 

Y/n bit her tongue and guided the tip to her entrance as the other girl held onto her hips to provide her more support. It made her groan at the familiar tightness she slowly got engulfed in while Y/n let out a faint gasp at the painful stretch. “Oh fuck.” The feline whimpered while slowly sinking and being filled up by the thickness and length that entered her raw. 

“You can take it, you’re doing so well, doll.” Yunjin encouraged, her hands caressing the girl’s hips while her eyes went between Y/n’s face which was somewhere between pleasure and pain and the girl’s pink little pussy that her cock was too big for. Her eyes eagerly watched as she disappeared inside the girl, splitting her folds while being slowly sucked into such tightness that she had to try extra hard to not reach her peak right away. “My pretty girl.” She continued, the praises easing Y/n’s mind from the uncomfortable feeling as she, at last, eased Yunjin's cock fully inside her while heaving for air that she had held in. 

She pulled Y/n down to kiss away the shaky breath that left her lips, waiting for the girl on top to start and set the pace to not accidentally hurt her. “I love you,” she whispered against her lips, her palm caressing the side of Y/n’s neck while her other hand gripped onto the girl’s ass who slowly moved her hips back and forth. Their lips came back together in a wet kiss with desires that were difficult to hold back. “So much, love you so much.” Her words weren’t falling deaf, they were digging their way into flesh and Y/n’s heart after not hearing them for two months. 

Y/n’s forehead rested against Yunjin’s, her hair falling around them, covering everything, and nothing from the surface ever went below except them. Her panting breaths mixed with Yunjin’s breaths who moved her hand from Y/n’s neck to push back some of her hair. 

“You don’t hate me, do you?” The words couldn’t help but intrude in this moment but they were still lingering inside her, swimming in a pool of all the things Yunjin had ever said to her. The sweet things could never win against the small portion of words that left her insecure in deep waters where security was the only thing that could keep her alive. 

“I could never hate you.” Only in the moment was she capable of hate and Y/n knew it because the feline for a second hated Yunjin for lying once again, for making yet another promise she would break. 

“I love you, Jen.” She pecked her lips after, sealing them for the moment. 

Y/n pulled back with her words, the discomfort not being as prominent as her walls adjusted to the dick that was a big fit for her, being smaller than her ex-girlfriend when it came to proportion. The bulge was evidence of the situation as Y/n’s nails dug into Yunjin’s stomach for support.

She raised her hips, rolling them back down with a gasp and repeating the movements, each time coming down with a new ferocity as they were somewhere between expressing their deep love and taking out the leftover anger at the bottom of the bottle, drop by drop falling from the tip and mixing with everything else they had ever spilled. 

“Fuck, Y/n, you’re doing so good taking and riding me,” her hand ran up and cupped one of the girl's breasts, fitting it in her palm with ease and groping at it. Feeling over her body to take in the curves she knew she would be able to draw with her eyes closed. Every little detail of Y/n’s body, Yunjin knew and loved. 

The sopping sounds started to occupy the room, the girl’s moans, whines, and whimpers grew louder and mixed with Yunjin’s heavy breaths and grunts. She could feel every inch of the girl inside her, the way her cock twitched every time she clasped around her more and let out sounds. The stretch felt painful, but in a good way, knowing that Yunjin was too big for her and would always perfectly crush her smaller body until she was trembling. They both loved the feeling, Y/n loved how full she felt with Yunjin and Yunjin loved how she overfilled the smaller girl, how Y/n’s stomach bulged and how tight her pussy was and how she always tried her best to take everything. 

It was hard to prevent and so Yunjin started to meet the girl’s thrust, their skin slapping against each other echoing in the room and bouncing off the walls with all the other sounds. Her fingers played with the girl’s hard nipple, fondling her breast while getting lost in the strong current of feelings and emotions that dragged her. Her eyes stuck on Y/n’s skin which was flawless and perfect, the moonlight casting its light on her as it always complimented her the best. Her cock dragged along the clasping walls, making the younger’s thighs tense up, thrusting and hitting the spots just for Y/n.

“Feels good, I love how you touch me,” Y/n whined, her hands holding onto Yunjin’s tense thighs that flexed with each thrust. 

“You look so fucking good, Y/n–you take my dick so well, doll.” She huffed at the feeling of Y/n’s wet cunt who threw her head back while increasing her pace to a deeper one. Her clit was throbbing and her walls pulsating around the scalding dick, her ass colliding with Yunjin’s thighs each time she went down, gyrating her hips in a perfect rhythm that was making her and the older girl’s back arch. 

“I need more, Jen, please.” Y/n whimpered, their bodies moving like waves that perfectly collided with the shore, but it wasn’t enough for the girl. She needed more and Yunjin could provide more. She needed the waves to collide with sharp tone ruins that made the water splash everywhere. Yunjin always knew when to give just enough and when to give more than enough and make everything overflow. They knew how to sink and go down together. 

She gripped hold of Y/n’s hips, stopping the girl, their eyes landed on each other as they were both heaving for breath at how intense it felt. It made Y/n hold back a whimper when she moved off of Yunjin with the older one manhandling her to lay down on the bed. The sheets were cold under her warm body, the two covered in a faint sheen of sweat and her body with ease got pinned under the other. 

“How much do you want it, pretty?” Yunjin questioned as she lay down between the girl’s legs. Her cock rested heavily against Y/n’s thigh, her arms trapping Y/n in her bubble of air as they were on each side of her head. The strands of hair tickled Y/n’s prominent collarbones who could feel the heat radiate off of Yunjin and onto her body, the scent getting much stronger with how they were steaming and so close to one another. Body against body with nothing in between. 

“There’s nothing I want more–nothing more than you.” Y/n breathed out, their lips mingling and falling into a dance at last as they swallowed each other whole once more. One dance wasn’t enough, nothing would ever be enough. The ginger brushed her tongue over Y/n’s lips, slipping it past them, pushing her slick muscle against Y/n’s, wanting to taste more than the tender flesh on the outside but on the inside too. Her one hand went down between them as she guided her throbbing tip towards Y/n’s desperate entrance. 

The intensity increased tenfold when she slowly pushed in, kissing Y/n with more need to steal her breath when she gasped into her mouth. The younger wrapped her arms around Yunjin’s back, making her exhale deeply through her nose at the nails that slowly started to dig into the skin. 

Teeth dug into Yunjin’s lower lip when she in one fluid motion pushed her length fully inside Y/n who dropped her head to the pillow after. Her fingers found the girl’s swollen clit as she started to move her hips, rolling them in and out, providing deep thrusts that made the bed squeak and Y/n hold on tighter to not move with each thrust into her small hole. 

Whiny moans high in pitch left the feline’s mouth at the pleasure that started to course much stronger within her. Her walls clenched around the cock that was pistoning in and out of her, the moans hard to contain or keep down. Nails dragged down the pale skin of Yunjin’s back that flexed with each deep thrust, being a reminder of their love for after they would be done because their love was always present. 

“I’m close, Jen, you feel too good.” 

“Fuck—I’m gonna fill you up, doll, give you everything. Fill your tiny little pussy with my cum.” 

She dug her teeth into Y/n’s shoulder, eyes closing at the sounds that were filling her ear. Her hips pulled away before slamming back into the tight confines. The sounds grew loud, a bit too loud, but everything grew muffled to them. Her skin slapped against Y/n’s, the sounds were lewd and wet, erotic, her balls colliding with Y/n who was mewling under her and clawing at her back as she was trying to get more even if it was too much already. Her tip occasionally hit the girl’s cervix as she managed to fill her to the brim. 

Y/n gasped, her back arching and chest pushing into Yunjin who raised her head to watch the girl’s face that contorted into a blissful pleasure with her lips parted, head thrown back and eyes closed. She bunched up the pillow cover in her fist, speeding up her pace and making Y/n cry out at the way her insides were being drilled by Yunjin. Her moans turned into gasps for air as her orgasm was starting to wash over her with her body growing in heat. 

“Fuck, fuck, Jen–” It was blinding the girl on top who continued going at a fast speed that made her breathing heavy and throaty, a primal need to dominate the girl and to claim her right back as hers. There was something enthralling about watching the way Y/n was getting filled by her, her body moving with each thrust while desperately trying to stay in place despite not going anywhere because Yunjin held her in place. 

Y/n’s body tensed up, arching and pulling Yunjin closer to her as her walls fluttered around the cock that was splitting her in the best way possible. All control floated away as the waves hit her one after another, her thighs quivering from the intense orgasm, her nails running along Yunjin’s back to hold on and have her close to her. It made her ears ring and eyes roll, only the older one being able to see the pleasure that Y/n went through.

The ginger stopped playing with the swollen and slick clit when Y/n jerked at the touch, burying her face into the crook of the feline’s neck after. The pussy around her cock pulsated with aftershocks and sent her so close to the edge. Her palm pressed against Y/n’s stomach, covering it with just one hand, being able to feel the bulge each time she thrust inside the girl and it was enough to send her mind into a frenzy, imagining how deep inside the smaller girl she was. How Y/n was taking her. 

She pulled out and stuffed her cock as deep as possible one last time, pressing down more onto Y/n’s lower belly as she moaned into her neck before biting down on the skin. Her breaths grew into a high pitch as she came, thick ropes of cum shooting out her tip and each splashing the smaller girl’s walls white as she could feel it all. 

Her arm gave out and Y/n huffed at the weight that landed on top of her body, still panting for air while trying to not get overwhelmed by the big dick and cum overflowing her small cunt. “God, I missed you and this.” She groaned, trying to get back the feeling in her legs. “You did so well for me, doll,” she mumbled, huffing for air while planting soft kisses over Y/n’s neck. 

“I can’t breathe, Jen,” Y/n winced.

Yunjin exhaled deeply and weakly rolled over, her chest heaving as it felt like she was being dragged down into the bed, sinking deeper than she had before while she stared at her ceiling that got further away and blurrier the further she sank. It didn’t feel right for a second as her body was humid with sweat with no warmth, but it was all fixed when Y/n moved her body and hugged around her waist, her head resting on her shoulder as she curled up to Yunjin’s body. 

Suddenly it felt right as they drowned together.

She reached for the duvet that was thrown aside on the bed and draped it over their lower bodies. Her arms wrapped around Y/n’s shoulders and she pulled the smaller girl closer to her as she hugged her to provide safety even where it felt like it was dangerous. They were chained together in a box filled with anchors that would make sure that they stayed down and with each other. 

It felt right even though something would always be wrong. 

“You’re mine, right?” She questioned, craning her neck to look at Y/n who raised her head the best she could from how she was entombed in Yunjin’s arms. 

“Always,” she whispered and closed her eyes at the lingering kiss that Yunjin left on her forehead. That was reassurance of how it was fine, it was home, but something would always be off, disturbing them because something would always be wrong with the fact that they were drowning in their home. 

“Can you say that one thing?” Yunjin asked, staring into the distance that her ceiling didn’t have, but her eyes imagined. 

Y/n hummed, confused about what she meant. 

Yunjin was waiting for reassurance of how it felt right and wrong at the same time. “About the fish.” She prompted, her hand coming into Y/n’s hair as she tenderly played with it, running her fingers through it and feeling the girl in her arms because she truly was there. Y/n’s tired voice mumbled the words that would drive them both to sleep in the warmth of water filling their lungs while also burning. 

“I’m like a fish that drowns, I’m at home in water, but something is wrong even though everything else feels right. I know that I would die if I wasn’t here. I know that this is my only home, but there will always be something wrong with the fact that I drown even when I’m at home.”

masterlist

#yunjin x reader #le sserafim x reader #yunjin smut #le sserafim smut #huh yunjin smut #lsfm smut #kpop gg smut #girl group smut #smut #fanfic #jennifer huh smut #yunjin x fem reader #g!p yunjin #g!p yunjin x female reader #g!p huh yunjin #g!p huh yunjin x female reader

[lovebeinaprincessworld]

Way of the life (Tsu’tey x reader)

Masterlist

Part 1 Part 2

Description: Your life with Tsu’tey was everything you could have wished for - but there were still conflicts and fights. It couldn’t always be perfect, but as long as your family would stick together in the end, you would be fine.

For context this is how old the children are in this part:

Tsey’tan - 19 (same as Neteyam)

Tetsun - 17 (same as Lo’ak and Kiri)

Zìtei and Zuaìu - 15

Tiranay - 9 (same as Tuk)

Warnings: smut, p in v, fingering, oral, talk about cum, lots of cum, breeding kink

6962 words

Tsu’tey was always hard on his sons, he wanted them to become great warriors and protectors of their clan. You knew he loved them, he loved them so much, and you knew he just wasn’t a gentle and soft man. Only on rare occasions (or just for you). But sometimes you thought he forgot he was also their father, and not only their superior, he wasnt solely responsible for shaping them into warriors - being a father was more than that.

You always helped him find the balance, the way you did things together as parents worked out for your family. But this time, it escalated. Your second oldest had wandered into the forest, you knew why - he had a crush on a Na’vi girl and he told you the day before he wanted to find the crystals she loved to use for her necklaces. What he didn’t notice was that his little sister followed him. And when he noticed he was already too far to turn back, so he just took her with him.

It wasn’t his fault, he couldn’t have known that the one second she wandered into the trees while he was bending down, a stray viperwolf would jump her. He immediately heard her scream and killed the creature, but she was bleeding profusely from her right arm and she was crying - of course she was, she was still so young, she must’ve been so scared. Your poor little girl, even now that she was back in the safety of her family’s home, her arm bandaged and her tears dried, she clung to you, refusing to be set down.

You were just glad they were both safe, it was an accident and you would never be angry at Tetsun for that. Your mate however saw that entirely different, he had been scolding your son for the past minutes, he was furious. Your son was standing there, shoulders hunched and ears turned down, trying to be strong while his slightly taller father yelled at him. Eywa, he was still child too. His brothers were standing nearby, looking as if they were getting scolded too, they understood how it was to be the one who was the target, they had caused enough trouble to have been at the receiving end of their fathers anger too.

„I can’t believe you are this irresponsible! Taking your little sister into the forest like that, and then not even properly watching over her and protecting her! She could have been dead! Do you hear me? Look at her arm, this is your fault!“, your mate was raging, and you tried to intervene, he was overstepping. You knew he was strict, you accepted it, but he was blowing this out of proportion. „I think he understands, can we please just-”, but he didn’t even seem to hear you. Your daughter was starting to cry again, you knew she didn’t want he big brother to get in trouble - she would also never blame him.

„I want you to go and think about what you have done, you’ve brought shame to this family and-”, that was enough, you loved Tsu’tey, but he was wrong to say that to your son. You could see Tetsuns eyes glossing over. „THAT‘S ENOUGH TSU‘TEY!“, you had to raise your voice quite a bit to be heard, and the effect was immediately, it was so silent you could’ve heard a pin drop. You were scowling at your mate, for the first time really angry with him for making your son feel like this.

Tsu’tey was shocked to say the least. You were so gentle and soft, you had never raised your voice like this before, especially not at him. His sons were all frozen, and he turned around to you, the angry look on your face making him shrink a little. He hated that you were angry at him, all his anger and frustration about his injured daughter immediately vanishing, leaving a bitter feeling behind.

„I’m sorry sempul“, you heard Tetsuns voice from behind your mate (who you were still glaring at), he was trying to be strong, but his voice cracked a little, making your heart break for him. Even if Tsu’tey didn’t mean it, what was said, was said and he couldn’t take it back. Your mate didn’t react, still looking at you, and your second oldest took off through the entrance to his left, snapping you out of your stupor. You had to practice damage control right now, you would deal with everything else later. (Father)

„Tsey’tan“, you called upon your oldest and he immediately stepped next to you, looking down at you expectantly. „Take your sister“, you gently told him, transferring the still slightly shaking girl into her brothers arms. When she was clinging to him instead of you, you took off after your second oldest without another look back, eventhough you could feel your mate was distraught too - maybe this would teach him something.

Your son was fast, of course he was he’s one of the best warriors of the clan, just like his brothers. But you knew exactly where he would go. You and Tsu’tey had once built something equivalent to a tree house a little further into the forest when the children were still younger. You knew they still came here sometimes, especially when they wanted to be alone.

And you were right, when you had climbed the tree to the hammock-like hut, Tetsun was sitting at the edge, his legs swinging back and forth slightly. You were sure he heard you coming, but he didn’t react until you sat next to him. Then he wiped his cheeks with the back of his hand, he was crying and your heart ached even more at the pain your son was in.

„I’m sorry sa‘nok“, he whispered and you just shook your head, pulling the slight taller boy into your arms. „My love you don’t have to be sorry, this is nobody’s fault, it was an accident“, your son was sinking into your arms, placing his head on your lap and you could feel a few tears hit your legs, „no matter what your father says.“ You were stroking his braids, no matter how old your children got, they would always be exactly that - your children.

„I should have turned around when I noticed Tiranay, I should have protected her better, Dad is right I have brought shame to our family“, you could hear his voice choke up, and you sighed at the damage his fathers words had left. „Look at me ma‘itan“, you softly but firmly turned his head so he would look at you, „you are anything but. You are a strong warrior, a great older brother and you make me so proud as a mother to have a son like you. This wasn’t your fault. You are not a shame.“ You emphasized the last sentences, his tears starting to subside.

He sat up again, wiping his tears away. „I’m sorry for being such a baby“, he was clearly upset about being so vulnerable. „You should never be sorry for showing emotions, you don’t always have to be the strong fighter. Even your father isn’t all the time“, you smiled and he looked incredulously. „He has his reasons for being the way he is“, you started to explain, you felt he deserved an explanation even if Tsu’tey didn’t really bother (or particularly liked) to talk about his past. Your son looked at you with avid interest, his father had told him lots of battle and war stories but nothing beyond that.

„You know your father was once raised to become the next Olo’eyktan. When my brother and me weren’t even on this planet yet, he was already promised to mate with Neytiris sister - Sylwanin. They were great friends, they were the same age and grew up together in expectancy to mate one day. Your father told me, it was a different kind of love than he felt for me, friendship was their foremost emotion. But he lost her, sky people came and she was killed. And then he was promised to mate with Neytiri, a worthy next Tsahìk. They were also friends, but he was slightly older and they weren’t as close as he was with her sister. And she fell in love with my brother. This didn’t particularly hurt his feelings, I’m sure his pride was slightly wounded, but we were already starting to fall in love by then. And then the Great War came, hometree was destroyed, everything they’ve ever known was gone and he lost many, many of his fellow warriors and friends.“, you tried to convey what his father went through on his life.

„He has lost so much in his life“, your eyes met your sons and he looked saddened by what he learned about his father, „and he is absolutely terrified of losing you or your siblings. That is no excuse for what he said tonight, but you know how he is, he isn’t the best to show you he loves you and that he was worried, so he scolds you.“ Your son sighs, breaking the eye contact and you pushed one of his braids back behind his ear.

„You are so loved okay? Please never forget that“, you smiled when he laid his head onto your shoulder, reminding you of how he would search for comfort in your arms when he was little. You sat there for a few moments, when you felt the woven floor underneath you move slightly. Your son went rigid, and you turned around to see your mate standing at the other side of the hammock. He looked incredibly guilty, and you were glad he came to talk to your son. You could talk all you want, ultimately he needed to hear this from his father.

You encouragingly squeezed Tetsuns hand, carefully getting up to leave them be. You stopped infront of your mate, his eyes hurt and ashamed. „I’m sorry yawne“, he whispered, and you had honestly never seen him so broken. „Just make this right“, you sighed, still a little mad, but already forgiving him in you heart. You squeezed his hand before leaving them to sort this out.

————————

Your oldest son was still out with his friends, his siblings already sleeping and Tetsun and Tsu’tey hadn’t come back yet. You had taken one of the books you recently borrowed from Norm and used the time for yourself to read in the hammock above your hut. You were tucked away in the right corner of the woven platform, when you heard two people climb up towards your home. You really hoped everything was alright again.

Tsu’tey regretted saying what he said as soon as it left his mouth, and he was glad he could make it right with his son. He knew it was an accident, he was just so incredibly scared for his two children that he exploded and let it out in the wrong way. And you being angry and disappointed in him made his heart sink even further, he couldn’t get the picture of your scolding face out of his head - Tiranay crying in your arms because of the conflict only deepening the frown he was wearing. He knew he had to make this right with you too.

„Good night son“, you could barely hear it from your position up in the trees, a soft smile lighting up your face, glad that your family seemed to have worked through this. You couldn’t hear Tetsuns response, but what you could hear was your mate making his way upwards, towards you. You out your book to the side, sitting up a little when he jumped on the floor and knelt infront of you. He still looked really guilty, his usual scowl on his face.

„Ma tìyawn“, his rough voice laced with so many emotions immediately softened your heart. He already made things right with your son, how could you keep being angry with him, it wasn’t in your nature. You let out little sigh, shuffling to the side and lifting up the thin blanket you were sitting under, so that he could join you. „Come here“, you smiled at him and you could see the tension ease when he realized you weren’t angry.

He sat down next to you, pulling you into his arms and covering you both with the blanket, his cheek on your head and your hands on his chest. „I’m so sorry“, he whispered, „I should have never said that.“ You hummed, comfortable in his strong arms. „Did you make things right with Tetsun?“, you quietly questioned, the fingers that were drawing circles on your back distracting you. „I did, he forgave me, but can you forgive me too?“, he still seemed a little anxious, and you pressed a soft kiss to his collarbone.

„Of course I do, I could never stay mad at you. And I’m sorry for raising my voice at you“, you pulled back a bit so you could look into his face, his scowl was gone and he looked tired. It had been a long and eventful day after all. „Don’t be. You were right to do so, even if I hate it when we fight“, he closed his eyes with a deep sigh, his tail wandering towards yours under the blanket, the appendages wrapping themselves around oneanother.

Now that he was forgiven, by his son and his mate, he was unbelievably comfortable laying there. His mate tugged into him in a tight embrace, safe by his side, and his children sleeping below, he was glad this day turned out so positive in the end. He opened his eyes again, your big, soft ones already watching him. Instead of talking more, he leaned down and captured your lips in a gentle kiss.

————————

You were so, so screwed. You promised your mate not to wander into the forest on your own, but you really needed some torìtu leaves. You ran out of them a few days ago, and you almost always use them on scrape wounds your children have. You thought about asking Tsu’tey to accompany you into the forest, but he was so stressed lately - Zìtei and Zuaìu almost ready to complete their iknimaya - and the plants were found in a generally safe environment.

The location wasn’t dangerous at all - you were right about that - but your clumsiness wasn’t bound to one place. So when a few Syakayuks swung by you were startled and stupidly twisted your ankle, so that you were sitting in the soft moss now, not being able to stand back up. How were you supposed to get back? No one knew you were there, and even if it wasn’t that far from the village you couldn’t crawl all the way could you now. (The ‚monkeys‘ we see in the first movie)

So you sat there in your misery, your ankle slightly swollen and in pain, and waited until your family would notice you weren’t coming back to your home and come searching for you. Damn, you felt pathetic. You had just set sight on a large dead branch on the other side of the clearing you could maybe use as a crutch, when someone broke through the treeline. „Neteyam!“, you called out for your nephew and he whipped around in your direction.

„(Y/N)? What are you doing here?“, he came over to you in confusion and you were so relieved he came by here. „I was collecting torìtu leaves and twisted my ankle“, you sighed and pointed to your swollen foot, „would you mind helping me back to the village?“ „Yes, of course!“, your ever so dutiful nephew hauled you up in his arms before you could protest and you squeaked slightly. „Sorry, sorry“, he grinned and started to walk, you were clutching onto your bag in fear of losing it. You realized he really wasn’t a child anymore, just like your own oldest son, they would probably soon pick mates of their own and start their own families. You swore it was just yesterday that you were cuddling Tsey’tan and Neteyam, while your mate was training and Jake and Neytiri were out.

You talked about his day, he was on his way to meet his brother by the waterfall when he stumbled upon you, and soon you reached the village. „Dad!“, Neteyam called for his father - and your brother - who was standing nearby talking to one of the elders. When he saw you two, he excused himself and made his way to you with a concerned look. Great, as if your own mate wouldn’t go overprotective over this, your brother had to witness it too.

„What happened?“, he scanned your form, and you rolled your eyes. „It’s not that bad, just twisted my ankle“, you calmed him down, but he was still frowning. Only your nephew seemed to find amusement in not being the one on the receiving end of his dads worry. „Give her to me, I’ll bring her to Mo‘at“, Jake took you out of Neteyams arms, „and then go tell Tsu’tey to meet me in the tsahìks tent, you can go to your brother after that.“ „What? No, we don’t need to tell-”, but Neteyam was already gone before you could convince anyone not to tell your mate.

„Do you really think I’m inciting Tsu’teys wrath when he finds out we didn’t tell him? He would find out anyways“, your brother chuckled and you hit his chest, making him give you a (fake) offended look. You two entered Mo‘ats tent, she seemed busy with grinding a paste but looked up right as you came in. „Put her down there“, she instructed the Olo’eyktan and he placed you onto the cot she pointed to.

Tsu’tey had been wondering where you were, you were always waiting for your children (and for him) at home. Tiranay was out with her two oldest brothers and the twins had come back with him. But you weren’t there. „Where is Mom?“, Zuaìu was just as confused as his father. „I’ll look in the hammock“, Zìtei was climbing upwards and downwards in record time, but he just shook his head when he came back down, „she’s not up there either.“

Before they could think about looking for you, Neteyam barged into the hut and Tsu’tey got a really bad feeling in his gut. „What is it Neteyam?“, Zuaìu asked his cousin with furrowed brows. „Dad sent me to tell you that your mother twisted her ankle“, his breath was slightly faster than normal, and when Tsu’tey heard you were hurt, he stepped towards his nephew, towering over the future clan leader.

„Where is she?“, he didn’t mean to, but he looked terrifying to Neteyam, not being able to control his facial expressions. „With Mo‘at“, and with that Tsu’tey was off, the twins on his heels. „Thanks Neteyam!“, Zìtei called over his shoulder, not wanting to lose track of his father.

Mo‘at had just finished bandaging up your ankle (a paste to bring down the swelling already on it) when Tsu’tey and the twins came in. Your brother discreetly slipped out of the tent at the angered look on your mates face, you rolled your eyes at that. The coward. „It’s just a sprained ankle, no need for panic please“, Mo‘at rolled her eyes at your mates obvious protective behaviour, not looking up from your foot though. You smiled at your twins an beckoned them over when the tsahìk got up. „Are you alright sa‘nok?“, Zìtei asked, both of them kneeling next to the cot you were sitting on. You tried to delay meeting your mates gaze, you didn’t want your sons witnessing his anger. You could feel he was still holding it in.

„I’m alright don’t worry.“, you stroked their hair softly, „can you fetch your brothers and sister and go to dinner? We will be with you in a little while.“ They nodded, each pressing a kiss to your cheek before leaving the tent. „I will go to dinner too“, Mo‘at excused herself and the moment she was gone, Tsu’tey was next to you on the cot and you finally met his furious eyes.

„How did this happen?“, he still didn’t know you went into the forest against his wishes, but you saw no point in lying. „I needed more torítu leaves“, you started and he immediately growled. „You went into the forest?“, he barked, his fists clenching so hard his knuckles were turning light blue. „I’m sorry, I know I should have told you, but I’m alright am I not? Neteyam found me after a while“, you squeezed his biceps softly, but his eyes were still as hard as ever.

„So you just sat there in the forest near eclipse, not being able to get up, defenseless. What would’ve happened if so much as viperwolf stumbled over you?“, he got up from next to you, towering over your small form and you shrank back. „You promised me you wouldn’t go into the forest alone!“, he was basically shouting now, only keeping his voice down because of how thin the walls were.

You knew he would be angry, but your mate being so furious brought tears to your eyes. You tried to blink them away, not wanting to make even more of a scene as this already was, but he saw them, and the tension in his body fell away. „I don’t- Please yawne I-”, he couldn’t find the words, but he knew he needed to comfort you first anyway, sinking down again and carefully pulling you into his arms. You took a shaky breath, your tears not spilling after all, and clung onto his big hands for comfort.

„I’m sorry I went into the forest, I just didn’t want to bother you“, you were so quiet, and he felt so guilty for exploding on you like that. He was getting really good at controlling his protective side most of the time, but now and then the fear of losing you overwhelmed him. „I’m sorry I yelled, I just can’t help but think about the horrible things that could have happened to you, and that I wouldn’t have been able to save you“, his forehead was pressed against your temple, his lips ghosting over your cheekbone.

„I won’t do it again“, you sighed, turning your head and gently kissing him. He hummed and pulled you back in when you tried to shuffle back slightly, a smile spreading over your face. „Does it hurt?“, he asked after he finally let go of your lips, his hands stroking your waist. „Only when I try to stand on it, Mo’at said I should be fine in two weeks“, you layed your head on his shoulder, his closeness soothing you after the fight you just had.

„I won’t leave your side for the next two weeks then“, he pushed your hair behind your ear, and you giggled. „We’ll see about that“, you interlaced your fingers with his, „let’s go to dinner for now, our children are waiting.“ He grunted and you took that as agreement.

—————————

Today had been one of the rare days you had the time to visit Norm in the scientist camp. You saw him in the village at least once a week, but your visits to the human encampment were rare. Having five children does that to you. He was so excited to show you his newest discovery, a flower that was growing in the caves in the hallelujah mountains. He didn’t know that much about it yet, but he told you the bioluminescent essence seemed to be something like a natural super glue. Additionally you used the opportunity to exchange some of your borrowed books for a few new ones, you had already filled your bag with your favorite copies.

„I can’t believe the twins passed their iknimaya already, I feel like it was yesterday that I was teasing you about your crush on Tsu’tey“, Norm laughed, you two had strayed from the scientific topics to your lives. „Shut up!“, you laughed with him, kneeling on the floor next to the human because of your size, „but you’re right, it’s crazy to think we went from going to university together, to living on a foreign planet isn’t it?“ „Especially you, snatching up the toughest warrior and a having a family“, he jokingly punched your arm and you acted wounded.

Suddenly you heard commotion coming from the main part of the complex, you and Norm exchanging worried looks. „Where is she?“, as soon as you heard the voice, you rolled your eyes. Norm on the other hand was getting nervous, no matter how many times he met your mate, Tsu’tey always intimidated the human - even in his Na‘vi form. „I’m here!“, you called out, not wanting him to make scene. You wondered why he was here, but when you looked outside, you noticed it was dark already. Uh oh. „We forgot the time, didn’t we?“, Norm seemed to have read your thoughts, and you were already bracing yourself for an annoyed Tsu’tey.

He crouched into the room through the doorframe, and as anticipated he was scowling. „I‘m sorry, I totally forgot the time ma Tsu’tey“, you smiled soothingly, but he scoffed, eyeing the human next to you in disdain. You didn’t know why he seemed to dislike Norm, but he generally didn’t like any males that were near you so maybe that was it. „See you next week at the feast, right?“, you squeezed your friends shoulder as a goodbye, knowing Tsu’tey wouldn’t be happy if you hugged him right now.

Norm was nodding frantically, the longer your mate stared at him with those fear inducing eyes, the more nervous he became. You got up, waving and stepping next to your mate. Tsu’tey wrapped his tail around your thigh and his arm around your waist, making sure everyone knew you were his. You left it uncommented and led him out of the science complex, all the other humans had already moved to different rooms, they were all pretty terrified of your mate. When you were back in the forest, the bioluminescence providing some light and the science camp out of sight, you stopped.

He was too quiet, something was bothering him. „What is it my love?“, your hand were gripping his biceps gently, both of his arms encircling your waist now. „I don’t like you being away from me for so long“, he growled, scowl on his face and grip on you tightening, „especially not when you spent the time with that tawtute instead.“ You couldn’t suppress your smile. „Are you really jealous of Norm?“, your thumbs were stroking his skin, his muscles flexing underneath, tail on your thigh moving slightly.

„He makes you laugh, and you have so much to talk about“, you were surprised he was honestly bothered by this, he almost seemed a little insecure. „Tsu’tey look at me“, your hands softly gripped his jaw and his eyes hesitantly met yours. „Norm is a good friend, but he will always be just that - a friend. It is you who I see, who I love, who I belong to“, you were looking up at him through your lashes, and his eyes widened slightly, before they became heated.

„I know you belong to me, I would never let you go don’t worry yawne. It still bothers me“, he scoffed, „Maybe I need to remind you a little that you do belong to me.“ He smirked and you blushed, your tweng growing moist immediately, it had been too long since he touched you. „Mhm seems like you would like that, maybe we can sneak away later tonight“, he grinned and gave you a promising kiss.

Turned out he wouldn’t get a chance to fulfill his promise that night. Your daughter was crying when she came home with Tsey’tan, she had a fight with Tuk and only was able to fall asleep in your arms. „Tomorrow?“, you apologetically smiled at your mate, and he just took you both into his arms. „Sure tìyawn“, he kissed your temple and you fell asleep like that.

It was the next afternoon, your sons were out with the hunting party (their father had stayed behind for obvious reasons) and your daughter was playing with Tuk, whom she had made up with. Tsu’tey was currently unlacing your top, his lips peppering kisses down your neck. „Eywa, it has been too long since I came inside your tight little pussy“, he groaned and his teeth left little marks all over your breasts, but when his hand slipped down into your loincloth, you were interrupted.

„Sa’nok, sempul! Come quick Zìtei has been injured!“, you winced in shock, quickly putting your breast cover back on and the tall warrior above you groaned in frustration. „Why did that skxawng needed to get hurt right now“, he rolled off of you with a grunt and you lightly slapped his shoulder, sitting up. „Don’t say that! Come on, we will find time eventually“, Tsu’tey scoffed unhappily, but followed you down the tree to where your eldest son had called from.

The last three days had been so busy, you and Tsu’tey had no chance at sneaking of together at all. Your mate was growing seriously frustrated, and you were getting needier too. You had never gone this long without having sex, and you really missed having him so close. But today it seemed like you had a free morning, your sons had taken your daughter to the waterfalls and you and Tsu’tey wanted to sneak of to the hammock he built for you a little away from the village, so this time nobody could interrupt you.

He had his strong arm around your waist and his tails around your thigh, pulling you with him hastily, his impatience making you laugh. „What, you think this is funny?“, he scowled at you, but the mischievous glance in his eyes told you he wasn’t really mad. „I just like seeing you so needy“, you giggled and softly kissed his shoulder. „Trust me, this ‚neediness‘ means you’re really in for it ma mate“, he growled in your ear, making them twitch, your tail swishing behind you in anticipation.

You almost made it into the treeline when your brothers voice interrupted you. „(Y/N)!“, Jake called out for you, a relieved look on his face when he saw you. Tsu’tey went rigid next to you, he couldn’t believe you were interrupted again! He had a hard-on for the last few days, every time he saw you he could only think about bending you over and taking what’s his, but you kept getting disturbed!

„What is it Jake?“, you smiled up at him when he came to a stop next to you two. Eventhough you were probably just as needy as your mate, you could never be rude to anyone because of it. „Mo’at is busy, and Tuk stepped into something slightly poisonous, Neytiri doesn’t know what to do, can you please take a look?“, he hesitated for a moment to ask you, your mate glaring at him with a frown on his face.

„Of course“, you nodded for him to lead the way, kissing Tsu’tey goodbye with a guilty look on your face. „I’m so sorry ma Tsu’tey“, you whispered so your brother couldn’t hear, and with a deep sigh the frown melted off his face. „It’s alright, go help Tuk, that’s more important“, he pushed you to follow the Olo’eyktan slightly, watching your ass sway when you turned around and left. He couldn’t take this much longer.

He would finally, finally get to be alone with you this night. He had instructed Tsey’tan to take charge for the evening, and swept you away to fuck you in your hammock in the forest. „No one will stop me tonight yawne, trust me“, he held you so tight and his voice was so possessive, your loincloth immediately started to get soaked with your slick. But again, right as you were about to break the treeline, a voice stopped you. „Hey (Y/N)!“, it was Norm, the poor scientist having no idea what kind of frustration was bubbling under the skin of the tall Na’vi next to you. Even in his Avatar, Norm was dwarfed by your mate.

„Hey Norm“, you greeted him, Tsu’tey next to you huffing impatiently. „I’m so glad I caught you! I need to show you this new plant I found! Me and max went to-”, your friend was interrupted by a rough grunt. Norm winced, seemingly only now noticing the angry male beside you - once he was engulfed in his research he didn’t notice what was going on around him much. „You can do that tomorrow, sky demon“, Tsu’tey had enough of the constant interruptions, he hoisted you up over his shoulders, a surprised gasp leaving you and your friend was left standing there dumbfounded.

„Tsu’tey that was rude!“, you scolded him, holding onto his back for dear life. You were a little embarrassed that Norm witnessed this, but a more primal part of you was getting all hot and bothered at your mates display of dominance and strength. „I don’t give a fuck, I told you no one will stop me tonight and I meant it“, his voice was rough, and when you reached the tree the hammock was located in, he finally set you down. You staggered slightly from being manhandled like that, and he stabilized you with his hands on your waist.

He urged you to climb the tree before him, and you scrambled up into your hammock at the top as fast as you could. As soon as you stood on the woven floor of the hammock, your mate was behind you, turning you around and picking you up again. Your legs wound around his hips, and his hard bulge was already rubbing against your covered core, a gasp leaving your mouth.

Tsu’tey could smell you all the way here, you scolded him for being rude, but he knew it turned you on. He laid you down gently on the plantfibre pillows in the corner and settled between your legs. He immediately captured your lips in a passionate kiss, he was craving your touch and your closeness. When you needed to breath he ripped of your top and started sucking on your nipples, his teeth scraping against your hard bud occasionally, and the grip you consequently established on his braids made him growl, his bulge rutting against the floor for some friction.

„Tsu’tey“, you mewled when he switched to the other side, your slick had already completely drenched your tweng and you just wanted him even closer. „Need you closer, please“, you whined, and you felt him take your queue, quickly making tsaheylu and the familiar shudder went through both of you. „Missed this so much“, you whispered, his lips trailing kisses down to where you needed him most distracting you.

„Me too, I will never go that long without mating with you again“, he purred, happy now that he was so close to burying his face where he wanted to for weeks. He ripped off your tweng too, the cool night air hitting your swollen and wet pussy making a shiver run through you, and he pulled your legs over his shoulder before his tongue buried itself in your slick entrance.

Even after all these years, the texture of his tongue seemed to make you go feral. He loved how unrestrained you got when he ate you out, and he loved your taste, your soft thighs caging in his head making him feel like he could stay there forever. Everytime his nose caught your clit, you clenched around his tongue that was still writhing inside of you, and he could feel you were getting closer through tsaheylu. He was surprised you were approaching your high so quickly, but then again it felt like forever since he made you cum the last time.

„Please m-ma mate I’m going to-”, your voice broke at the end, his thick fingers replacing his tongue, which was now circling your clit. „Cum for me tìyawn, cum for me so I can finally fuck this tight pussy“, he groaned and sucked on your nub, on particular curl of his fingers pushing you over the edge and your thighs almost suffocated the poor man between them, but he didn’t mind. „Oh Tsu’tey!“, you moaned, clenching around his fingers, your high burning through your body in record time.

When you called his name while cumming, he wondered how he ever went that long without this. His fingers fucked you through your orgasm, he couldn’t get enough of your sweet taste, but when you started to twitch from the sensitivity and pushed at his head slightly whimpering, he pulled his fingers out and kissed his way back up, until he was hovering above your panting form. „I see you ma (Y/N)“, he hummed, his forehead on yours and a blissful smile only your lips. „I see you“, you whispered, your legs wrapping around his hips and your hands taking of his loincloth, relishing in the familiar feeling of his thick blue cock slapping against your stomach when it was freed.

Some of his precum leaked onto your belly and you scooped it up with your finger, making eyecontact before sucking it off. The slight salty taste made you hum, and your mate above you lost all composure, moaning deeply and grabbing your thigh in his large hand, maneuvering his hips so his head slipped into you. „Fuck, I can’t wait to cum inside of you, need my scent to be all over you, need to breed you“, he grumbled, his eyes screwed shut while he slipped inside entirely.

No matter how often you mated, he always seemed to stretch you again. When he didn’t move you whimpered slightly, your tail curling around his arms, squeezing the bulging muscle and he groaned. „Please move yawne“, you moaned, and he pulled back before thrusting into you again, his head brushing your cervix slightly. You held onto his biceps once he found a faster rhythm, the hammock shaking slightly with his thrusts and his head buried in your neck nipping at your soft skin.

He grunted against your neck, a shiver running through you and when he angled your hips a little more downwards, he managed to thrust even deeper into you, his balls slapping against your ass with every powerful thrust. His balls were so heavy, he hadn’t cum inside of you for so long there was so much packed in them, he couldn’t wait to fill you with all of it, the thought alone making his movements more forceful.

Your tits rubbing against his pecs made the coil in your stomach tighten, you could feel yourself leaking all over his dick. „Mhm you’re going to cum on my cock ma muntxa? Going to fill you good with my cum, all just for you“, he moaned when you clenched around him, his veiny dick battering your insides and catching onto your spongey spot with every thrust. „Oh Eywa, I’m going to-”, you interrupted yourself with a scream, his hand rubbing your clit suddenly and you exploded around him.

You were basically chanting his name while you held onto him, convulsing and arching your back and he swore it was the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. All just because of him, all for him, he couldn’t hold back anymore. Your small hands on his biceps squeezed, you were so slick and hot around him and he rutted into you a few more times, thrusting up into you as much as possible. His head was nestled right against your cervix, his balls tightened and with a guttural growl he finally came.

You could feel his hot cum rush into your womb, you were still coming down from your high and the sheer amount that was filling you prolonged your orgasm significantly. You swore he had never cum this much inside of you, but then again you two had never gone so long without eachother. He panted in your neck and he was twitching inside of you, the flow of his seed ceasing. He was so deep inside of you, that nothing spilled out though, most of it locked securely inside your womb.

He was purring, finally satisfied and your soft walls fluttering around him made him hold you tighter. „Mhm“, you hummed, your hands softly massaging his scalp and he kissed your neck gently. „I‘m so glad you’re mine, and so thankful for the family you gave me“, he whispered, his lips brushing your collarbone and you were beaming. You loved how emotional he got after mating, tsaheylu making everything even more intense. „I couldn’t wish for a better, happier life, I love you and our children so much“, you breathed and he knew what the words ‚I love you‘ meant to humans, eventhough you rarely said them - opting instead for the Na‘vi version ‚I see you‘. He shifted slightly, a rare gentle smile on his face when he looked down at you.

„I love you too“, his lips found yours, the intimate position you were in warming your heart. „Tì‘i‘avay krrä“, he promised, sometimes he still couldn’t believe the way his life turned out so amazing. „Forever ma Tsu’tey“, you hummed and he turned you both around, so you could stay interlocked, but he wouldn’t crush you with his weight. He just wanted to hold you close, enjoying your time as a mated pair alone. (Forever/Until the end of time)

——————————

So this was definitely the last part of this story, they can live happily ever after now ahahah <3 I would really appreciate some feedback, my last Tsu’tey piece didn’t get any comments and I’m wondering what I should write differently - let me know what you think! If you wanna be tagged also let me know <3

Taglist: @eywas-heir @brooklynscherry-z @liyahsocorro

#x reader #fluff #angst #avatar #avatar james cameron #jake sully #neytiri #smut #avatar the way of water #lo’ak #neteyam #tuktirey #tsutey x reader #tsutey #tsu’tey x reader #tsu’tey #omaticaya #navi

[fandomhcs]

dating natasha romanoff would include:

nat’s the best significant other on the avengers team, pass it along. 

now see it may take her a long time to really get into a romantic relationship with someone, but once she does? oH BOY.

she’s got a lot of baggage, she knows that. she’s wary of scaring you off at first but if you stay with her? if you prove to her that you’re never going anywhere it melts her heart just a little.

relationships for nat need to be completely open and honest. she has enough lies and mystery in her job, even now as an avenger. she won’t tolerate it in a relationship. she’s going to be as honest with you as possible, and she expects the same in return. lying to her, especially about little things, will only push her away.

especially in the beginning of your relationship nat may be a little hesitant, a little reserved. she’s just cautious, afraid of losing someone or being betrayed. she needs her space for sure, and is more than willing to give you space as well if you need it. for her she needs someone to always be on her side, but not quite suffocating her. she wants a partner, not a dependent. 

dates are typically really chill with nat. movie nights, home cooked dinners, coffee dates. more fun, fancier dates would be kept to special occasions like birthdays and holidays. but most of the time, in her free time she just wants to be with you. spending time doing simple things with her is more important than she ever thought it would be. the domestic things in life mean more than anything. washing the dishes while you dry them? cutting the onions while you’re flipping burgers? putting on another load of laundry while you’re folding the towels? she lives for the mundane bullshit. 

however, her job as an avenger does keep her away from you more than either of you would like. sure she needs her space, but she doesn’t want to be in space for months without seeing you. luckily with stark tech there’s a way you can keep in touch with each other frequently but it’s not the same. and she hates worrying you when out on a mission. before while on a mission she never really had a reason to come home. and hell, what better cause to die for than to save the world, right? but now? the idea of leaving you alone in this world after you saving her from that very feeling nearly chokes her. she fights harder than she ever has so that she can come back home. 

dating natasha might lowkey also mean dating the avengers. they are her family, and all of them will 100000% scope you out to make sure you won’t hurt her. not like you would in the first place, right? like who’s gonna hurt the black widow? but that doesn’t stop them from sideeyeing you at first. of course, when they see how much nat softens around you and truly loves you they get their shit together quickly. you hanging out around the tower is commonplace now, and pretty much everyone loves you. especially laura, clint’s wife. its so nice to have someone around that’s not a superhero.

as far as fights or turbulence in the relationship you probably won’t have to worry too much. nat is the epitome of chill, and she’s gonna make damn sure that communication is a big part of your relationship. she wont’ want little things to blow out of proportion and let it hurt either of you, so she’ll make sure you air your grievances with her no matter how big or small. she just wants the two of you to work it out. she doesn’t believe that there is anything the two of you can’t talk through and end up stronger for it.

so, sex is a complicated beast with nat. i feel like if she’s in a committed relationship she is more than willing to have sex with you. she definitely wants you, you know. but sex has been a tool for her for so long that its hard to let it be a thing of intimacy and love. the first few times the two of you are together she may be a little unsure, a little more reserved than she means to be. all she needs is a little reassurance, to know that you’ll give her all the time she needs. but after being with you for long enough and trusting you enough, sex can become something she really loves. it means being close to you, extremely intimate in ways she never is with anyone else. it means so much to her that you let her be so open and vulnerable with you, so sex is always taken seriously with her. 

if anyone ever hurts you?? just?? like…they’re dead. they’re so dead. if nat doesn’t kill them, bucky or clint will. or steve. or sam. or tony, even. like…there will be no coming back from that lmao.

nat being hurt on a mission means she’s gonna try to tough it out, trust me. she’s gonna pretend like she’s fine and shit you may not even be able to tell she’s really hurt. but when you look closer you can see it, and you’ll have to force her to take care of herself before she collapses. she’ll put up a little bit of a fight at first, not wanting to be a bother or show any weakness. but just keep poking at her and she’ll listen eventually. 

sharing a bed with her is strange? there are knives stashed under the mattress? a gun under her pillow? one on her nightstand? but she’s cuddly when sleepy so prepare to be squished every night. she has nightmares that she tries to hide from you. not every night really, and it takes awhile before she’s ever able to talk about them. they can be intense and scary but she tries not to let it wake you. when it does, she’ll try to pull away at first but she’ll melt if you take her hand and just offer to be there for whatever she needs. 

all around? nat is a great girlfriend. completely open and accepting of who you are, honest and great with communication, sweet and genuine? she’s great. 10000/10.

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff headcanons #natasha romanoff hcs #hcs #marvel x reader #dwi

[daemonmage]

A Stupid Batfam AU

Jason’s and Bruce’s rocky relationship is actually a pr move to make sure the rest of the batfam doesn’t get attacked by reporters and gcpd.

Essentially Red Hood, while liked by the Crime Alley citizens and other citizens as well, has a pretty bad reputation with a lot of the rest of the city. The GCPD hate him for his overt violence and the head incident. The Media hates him cause he’s what they all feared Batman would become and are constantly creating news stories on him. A lot of the other citizens are just scared of him cause sometimes his temper gets out of control. It’s not the best reputation.

Bruce and Jason have long since talked and settled their differences. Well, it’s more of a “I don’t approve of your methods but I will acknowledge you as a person who wants to help, but I will still dislike the guns. Also I missed you” from Bruce and “I’m not happy with a lot of your decisions but I also understand why you came to those decisions. I’m still mad but I now know that you missed me and I missed you too” from Jason. They’re better than they were originally and honestly that’s all they could hope for. Jason visits the manor more and is having fun being brothers to Dick and Tim.

Here’s the thing though… his reputation as Red Hood may have accidentally spread to the other Bats. A few team ups here and there (and the red bat on his chest) have made everyone assume that Batman is now working with Red Hood, a known crime lord. The media and GCPD were on them like flies on shit. Jim tries to calm down the gcpd with mixed results, but he can’t stop the media from blowing this out of proportion. It’s like the news channels from Dark Knight Returns, but worse.

Jason, who just got his family back, is fucking pissed. Jason is also dramatic as hell. Bruce was willing to just deal with this, but Tim is too new at this to be caught in the crossfire. Bruce was just gonna bench him out of fear until things calm down (he’s dealt with this before) but Jason brings up his plan to Bruce. Bruce isn’t as dramatic as Jason, however he is still absolutely dramatic. He agrees. So begins an epic fight between two ideals that ends two vigilantes at each other’s throats constantly.

Red Hood and Batman fight any time they are together, Red Hood is arrested by Batman on multiple occasions, and Red Hood always escapes leaving terrifying threats spray painted where the bat can see. (Jason and Bruce give each others shit for the pot shots they take and Bruce compliments Jason’s form when he gets a good hit in, Bruce gives Jason a heads up to the easier ways to get out of a police car and Jason ignores him going for the most dramatic ways, Bruce complains that the code Jason uses for his threats are obvious and he can just ask Alfred himself for cookies, why does Bruce have to be the middle man.)

The super hero community doesn’t really know this (cause they can be pretty bad actors at times, says Bruce) tis can cause problems. Superman and Green Arrow capturing Red Hood. Batman had to pull the “he’s Gotham’s problem give him to me,” which led to a hour of arguing to get Jason back. Tim’s friend have Red Hood on their hit list for what Hood did to Robin (Tim is over it but he does use this as a way to get back at his brother when he pisses him off) and Red Hood has to be on the Villain List to sell the act, so every hero ever knows the Red Hood is a villain. This leads to chaos.

There are still rough moments where Bruce and Jason still fight, but it’s better. Jason gets to hang out and play games with Tim. He plans overly dramatic fights with Dick (with full plot cause these two are so extra.) He helps Alfred in the kitchen again talking about books they’ve both read. He and Bruce talk again, they talk about their fears and what they’ve missed. It’s better, and that’s all that really matters.

#batman #batfam #red hood #jason todd #bruce wayne #batfam au #stupid au #dick grayson #nightwing #robin #tim drake #batfamily #this is so dumb #but its been in my head so now it here #I already have stuff for Tim and Dick specifically #which includes #teen titans

[shinidamachu]

Sid, why do you think people think Kagome is “so annoying” and “whiny?” How exactly did she earn this reputation among her (rather dumb) haters.

The world is not kind to 15 years old girls, and what is Kagome, if not the perfect representation of one?

People forgot they can dislike a character just because and then move on. They'd rather grasp at straws to try and justify themselves, that way they can pretend they're being rational about the constant hate they're spreading when, truthfully, they're just being miserable.

Kagome specifically is in even greater disadvantage because her critics are, mostly, people who haven't read the source material and are instead basing their takes on a biased adaptation – which they probably watched ages before developping any critical skills – or people who see her as a threat to their ship and therefore are already prone to hate her.

The first group won't ever bother going out of their way to try and get a better grasp of her character by reading a 558 chapters long manga and the second group won't change their minds either way.

That's why they call her out for using the beads of subjugation even if: it wasn't her idea in the first place, it served to balance her relationship with Inuyasha at the beginning – since he was powerful and violent while she wasn't –, the rosary became a symbol of their bond, it saved Inuyasha a couple of times and he was always more annoyed than hurt by it, not to mention Sunrise blowing it out of proportion compared to the manga.

You never see Inuyasha getting bashed for hitting Shippo every other episode or Sango getting any heat for constantly slapping Miroku, because funnily enough people seem to understand it was just dumb, outdated, slapstick comedy, a courtesy they refuse to extend to Kagome.

That's also the reason they call her “annoying” and “whiny”: Kagome’s most important lesson was that it's okay to have feelings, so naturally they twisted that into a bad thing in order to keep hating on her. It's not about how her character was written, it's about people using of bad faith and deliberately mischaracterizing Kagome to pass their internalized misogyny as valid criticism.

I know part of the issue is that audiences nowadays are under the impression that for a female character to be strong, she can't cry or be feminine, but you don't see anyone hating on Sango even though she does cry and she can be as feminine as Kagome depending on the circunstances and on her mood.

The truth is that Kagome is playing a game she can never win, because the refs have decided they want her to lose before the match even starts.

If she stands up and sets boundaries for herself, she's annoying. If she doesn't, she's a doormat. If she feels jealousy, she's a bitch. If she shows kindness, she's boring. If she fights, she's overpowered. If she doesn't, she's useless. If any other character cries, it's heartbreaking. If she cries, she's whiny.

If she goes back to her own world, she's selfish. If she leaves that world behind to live the life she wants for herself, she's a stupid girl who left her family for a boy. If she does something grand, that's only because she's someone else's reincarnation. If she messes something up, the fault is hers and hers alone. She is, somehow, simultaneously a Mary Sue and a toxic abuser.

I've personally seen people slut shaming her because she got hitted on by Koga. I've personally seen people call her a "pick me" girl. Kagome. A pick me girl. Kagome.

And none of this is fair, because she is the kind of character who does her best to see the good in others, to understand the reasons why they act the way they do and to offer them some grace, but she gets very little of that in return, be it in canon, be it in fandom.

They always hold her up to such an impossible standard, but they completely forget to ask themselves: would the characters I stan be able to match the expectations I set for Kagome? Scratch that: would the characters I stan even be able to deal with things the way Kagome managed to do? Would I? The answer is most likely no, so how about cutting her a slack?

You ask me how did she earn this reputation among her rather dumb haters, my answer is: she didn't. They're just incapable of understanding that if a particular nuanced, well written, female character is not their cup of tea, they can simply ignore her and focus their attention on the characters they do like instead of spreading their baseless, misogynistic takes on the internet.

#I also feel like there's this trend of disliking protagonists in general #But I won't elaborate because this is already longer than I wanted it to be #And it applies to most of protagonists so it isn't Kagome specific #It's a dicussion for another day #Inuyasha #Kagome #Kagome Higurashui #Thank you for the ask anon #Sidmailing

[yngtort]

— Hate to love you

chan | lino | changbin | hyunjin | jisung | felix | seungmin | jeongin

NSFW ★

──────────

Xfem!reader • mdni • established relationship • cheating • choking • hate sex in which hyunjin finds out about your affair and decides to put you in your place

Anonymous : Oof I loooved your jealous fwb Felix fic ♥️ When you have time could you please make a jealous Hyunjin fic? It’s one of my favorite tropes 🥵

It had been two years since you got married. Two years of hyunjin having to deal with your complete and utter disrespect, and he’s just about had it.

You were a spoiled fucking brat. Spending all his money on obscene things, stuff that you didn’t even need. Designer clothes that you never wore filled up both yours and his closet.

and let’s not even get to that mouth of yours. Your tongue was always sharp with blonde, not holding back a single insult. You both argued like hell over small shit like breathing the same air. but y’all blew it so far out of proportion to the point where it becomes a full on war between you too.

And when you weren’t arguing, you weren’t talking at all.

But Hyunjin didn’t blame you for your attitude towards him. you were ripped out of your life in a matter of days Just to satisfy your parents expectations. trust him, he didn’t take lightly to the thought either. He ransacked the house when he found out, flipping out on his parents and tossing old relic vases into the walls. He was just as pissed as you were.

That is, until the day he met you.

Love at first sight, that’s what it was. You were a lot younger back then — your hair was shorter, face was warmer, and your voice was like silk as you begged him to call off the wedding.

“We both don’t want this.” You said with tearful and dejected eyes, hands trembling as you latched onto the hem of his dress shirt.

You looked at him the same way when you walked down the aisle of the church.

and during your honeymoon,

and at the birth of your kids,

You hated him with every fiber of your being and he knew it.

So he allowed you to be the snobby bitch that you are to him. It’s the price he’d have to pay for locking you away with a ring.

But there was one thing he could not stand the thought of, You deceiving him and going behind his back to be with another man. so he’s absolutely fuming as he stares at the photos on his phone. You’re seen walking hand in hand into a brothel with some long haired blondie. Had it not been for the fact that he’d just cut and dyed his hair, hyunjin would’ve thought it was him that you were with in these photos.

it was sickening, seeing articles alluding that you had been spending money —his money— on a male escort. Writers degrade the integrity of his character and your relationship— ridiculing his fathers company.

And it’s all your fault.

So you’re gonna pay for it.

It’s eerily quiet when you walk into the house. Not that it was ever loud or anything, but usually you could hear the faint sound of your kids playing in their room— tv running and soft giggles ringing in your ears.

But today, you were met by complete and utter silence. “I’m home,” you say to no one in particular, shrugging your jacket off your shoulders and hanging it on the coat rack.

You step deeper into the house, peeking in each room until you’ve reached hyunjin’s office. The door was ajar which threw you off completely. It was always kept locked unless he was here.

But he was supposed to be at the company today.

“Hyunjin.” You peeked your head in, immediately meeting with the man you wedded. He was leant on his desk, cigarette between his lips as his dark eyes stared back at you.

“What are you doing here? Where’s my children?"Hyunjin chuckled at the question, head shaking at you as you looked at him— trying to figure out what’s so funny.

He took a long, long drag from the cig, blowing the smoke out into the air right after. “I decided they needed a night away from their cheating mother,"

You sighed hearing his words, “I wanted to take them out to dinner.”

“You’re not even gonna deny it?” Hyunjin said with a scoff, clear disgust written across his face.

"There’s articles out about it now. There’s no point in lying” your shrug, “just buy off the writer or something. Your reputation won’t be tarnished for long.”

Hyunjin laughed in complete disbelief. You really didn’t care about any of this. It was all just a game to you, he was a game to you.

He put the cigarette before pushing off the desk and walking over to you, a tall figure towering down. “I can’t believe you.”

“I let you do what you want, walk over me and spend every dime…and this is what I get in return?” He snaps, voice laced with fire. “Had I known that you’d turn out to be a whore, I wouldn’t have married you.”

“I never asked for this, I never asked to be your wife.”

"And yet, here we are," Hyunjin countered, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "You're married to me, y/n. You're the mother of my children. So, I expect you to act with some semblance of decency and respect.”

“And if I don’t?” You tested, taking a step forward as you pressed a finger to his chest. “just what are you gonna do about-“

It only took a few seconds, so swift and fast that you couldn’t even register the stinging pain of your back slamming into the wall and a hand wrapping around your neck.

“I’ll teach you how to respect me,” he growled as he held you there. your hands instinctively grip his wrist, nails digging into his skin. “You’ll learn your place in this house and you will never disobey me again.”

“I’ll never respect you, I hate you.” You bite, trying to fight your way out of his hold but hyunjins grip his firm— just barely enough to let you breathe.

"you hate me so much, yet you had to go find a man that looks exactly like me?" Hyunjin said, a smirk brewing on his face. “doesn’t seem like hatred to me.”

He watches in amusement as you visibly tense. Maybe the guy did resemble your husband, but so what? You didn’t pick him specifically for that reason….you think. All that sass your little body had, flew right out of the window as he closed the distance between the two of you.

“Tell me, was he even half as good as me? Or are you just a slut that enjoys sloppy dick?” He taunts as his free hand slides its way into your leggings and over your cunt.

“F-fuck you” you stuttered, feeling his fingers rub against your clothed folds— wetness seeping through the fabric.

“That's right. Fuck me, and only me.” Hyunjin whispers into your ear as his slinder fingers pass your panties into your sopping hole. He pumps them with ease, making sure to press against your cervix to draw out those loud moans of yours.

“Ngh, stop it..”you slur out, trying so hard not to submit but his fingers were working you good, your knees are just four more pumps from giving out. “hate you s’much..”

“That’s okay, baby.” He said, nose brushing against yours— “just gotta fuck you until you love me.”

With that, hyunjin latched his lips onto yours, eating up every moan you let out as he fingers you against the wall, thumb circling your clit in tight circles. N you’re like that for while, melting away with every thrust until your back arched— sending your chest against his.

Hyunjin smirks feeling you gush all over him, walls clenching and sucking on his digits for more, “such an easy little girl. Horny for anyone who bats an eye at you.” He teases as he frees his pulls back.

You’re so weak, almost sliding the wall— but your husband doesn’t let you.“S-stop it! Put me down!” You protest as He hoists you up, forcibly wrapping your legs around himself as he leads you to his desk.

He ignores your cries and places you there, pushing down on your back. Paper’s scrunching under you, pens dropping to the floor as you’re spread out for him to take.

Hyun hisses as he yanks your bottoms down, astonished at how your cunt glistened under his desk light. “so wet and yet you cry for me to stop.”

“t-that’s because-“

“Because you’re a whore? I know that already.” He said before kneeling down, coming face to face with your need. Gently he pushes his head forward, and in one swift motion, his tongue plunges into your slick heat, groaning as your taste coats his tongue.

Your head falls back, mewls leaving your lips as he devours your sensitive cunt. Tongue lapping over the bud, making you completely dizzy.

“Hyun, fuck, just like that, mm gonna cum” you cried, high just a few steps away.

“Don’t you dare.” Hyun grunts before pulling back, denying you release before two fingers plunging into you instead. “you don’t deserve it.”

“No, no, please.” You sob, legs closed around his wrist as he finger Fucks for the second time today. “‘Mm sorry,”

Hyun chuckles darkly, “you’re not sorry, but you will be soon.” He groans, replacing his fingers with his cock, slowly pushing in. Inch by inch he fills you up, nestling deep inside, his hands holding your thighs open.

He slams his hips forward, heavy girth railing you with no remorse, claiming your tightness as his own.

“Dumb girl.” Thrust, “Can’t keep your legs closed” Thrust, “needa wash your filthy cunt out with my cum” Thrust.

He growls lowly as he feels himself getting closer to the edge, his cock throbbing inside of you. "You’re gonna be a good loyal wife now, aren't you? Let me use you when I want?"

“Y-yes, I’ll be s’good.” you answer, barely even there— mind lost in a headspace you’ve never even explored before. “Yours, y/ns yours.”

“Say it, “ Hyun bites out, his fingers digging into your hips as he pulls back before slamming forward again, the force of his movements causing your body to jerk forward each time. “Tell me you love me.”

“Fuck, I-I love you..love you s’much hyunie.”

With a final thrust, Hyunjin hips slam against yours, pushing his dick as deep inside you as it can go before releasing his seed. His hands grip your hips tighter as he holds himself there, panting heavily as he fills you to the brim.

"That's it...that's it...gotta make more pretty babies” he rubs your tummy, slowly pumping his load deeper into you and making you whine.

Hyunjin slowly reels back, dick leaving your hole with a wet pop. “I love you so much, beautiful.”

“Love you more.”

:)

Nni : finally did my first request !! Whoop!! I hope you liked it <3 wanna do more, so start sending people !!

Tinytags (comment to be added) : @sydnerss @sunnyyangie @panjakes @foxinnie8 @inniescandy-01

#kpop fanfic #stray kids imagines #kpop imagines #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x reader #stray kids smut #straykids x reader #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin smut #hyunjin x you #hyunjin #nnipadz

[cherryxblossxms]

Masturbation May - Day 3b: In the Shower (Satan)

A/N: Satan was suggested for day 3 by an anonymous sender! I couldn't quite decide the direction I wanted for this initially but finally just settled on some good ol stress relief via orgasm lol.

Featuring: GN reader || Satan x reader

Warnings: masturbation; some jealous Satan; mentions of marking and breeding (not specific to reader); just some much-needed self-assurance and stress relief in the shower~

Word count: 1411

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Satan just needed some kind of stress relief. He knew it was just his temper, easier and quicker to rile up thanks to his sin. But it seemed like everything was going wrong lately, getting on his nerves and pushing him to the edge of exploding. Lucifer was yelling at him about something or other, his favorite cat café had to close early because of an emergency with the owner, and his brothers were all getting into silly, nonsense arguments with each other.

Normally, these things alone wouldn't be enough to make him snap completely. But to top it all off, you had gone on a trip to the Human Realm with Solomon two weeks ago, supposedly for some training and gathering some items specific to your home. In your absence, the House of Lamentation always fell into chaos, no one to buffer the ridiculousness and provide a voice of reason.

Satan knew he shouldn't blame you, or use you as a means of resolving everyone's problems. But your presence was like a magic balm, easing his spirit and always managing to wrestle the others into compliance. And now all this pent up stress was leaving aches in his muscles and gave him a near constant migraine.

He couldn't even focus on his books, attempting to read through various tomes on his ever-lasting quest for the perfect curse for Lucifer, but realizing halfway through that he wasn't absorbing any of the information. He snapped the heavy book shut in anger, sending out a plume of dust that covered his upper half. Satan coughed and set the book aside.

Great, now he was both dirty and angry.

Trying to keep his boiling rage contained, he quickly gathered clean clothes and made his way to the bathroom, hoping against all odds that no one else was in there, or he'd really snap for good. Thankfully, the room was clear, and he quickly undressed as the water grew hot.

Once he was in the water, he sighed, the heat helping to relieve his aching muscles. Although he wouldn't admit it, he often wondered about taking up an offer from Asmo for a spa treatment. He was sure he needed it, and that it'd probably do wonders for his temperament, at least for a little while. Relaxation of the body is supposed to help relaxation of the mind, he figured.

Sadly, the relief didn't last long as his now unbusied thoughts kept going back to all the annoying things happening lately. He just wanted one day of peace, of not being nagged by Lucifer for sneaking in a stray cat, or not hearing the constant whine of Levi hounding Mammon for his money. And thinking of you, he hated being away from you for so long. It was unfair that you had left him, not to mention traveling with Solomon.

Although he was usually secure in his relationship with you, something still bothered him about you being alone with the Witty Sorcerer for so long. Not that Satan didn't trust you, he knew you would never cheat on him. But he wasn't always sure he trusted Solomon and his flirty, flowery words.

Just thinking of it made his skin itch, picturing Solomon trying to court you, to take you from him. Even though he knew he was completely blowing it out of proportion, the thoughts came unbidden to him. The next time he saw you, Satan resolved he'd have to leave his mark on you, to ensure no one, especially Solomon, could ever mistake who you belong to.

The more he thought of marking you, the faster his blood pumped, something ancient and instinctual waking up in his veins. He wanted to cover you in his scent, make sure all anyone else could smell for miles was him. He wanted to leave his fang marks in your skin, leave dark hickeys across your neck and chest, somewhere highly visible so no one could mistake his intentions.

Even better, he wanted to mark you with his seed, cover you outside but especially inside, as deep as he could manage, make sure it could never leave you. It didn't matter if you could get pregnant or not, the deep animalistic need still roared inside him to do it anyway. That final thought sent a throbbing pulse down to his dick, and Satan didn't even realize he was completely hard until his hand was already subconsciously wrapping around his cock and stroking.

He wanted you there, he needed to show you that he was all you ever needed. He was your mate, your lover, and everything you ever wanted, he would provide to you as long as you'd let him. He would show you, he could pleasure you a thousand times over with the way he knows your body, so that no one, especially Solomon, could ever compare.

Satan cursed. Now he was so hard it hurt, needing you in his arms, and on his cock, immediately. The rest of his body was relaxed but now all the ache sat in his groin, begging to be inside of you. You weren't due to be home for another week, and he knew there was no ignoring his erection at this point, so he settled for relieving himself for now, already formulating a plan of attack (of the pleasurable variety) for once you returned.

He shut the water off and quickly stepped out, thankful that you two kept a spare bottle of lube under the bathroom sink. He poured some on his hand as he re-entered the shower and continued stroking. He felt ridiculous, all pent up over his dumb worries and demonic needs, and wanted nothing more than to drown his worries in the pleasures of your body. Only you seemed to know how to truly relax him, but a fantasy would have to do.

He could just picture it, the moment you came back from your trip, how he'd pull you into his room and make sure you didn't go anywhere until you were thoroughly pleasured and marked by him. He wanted to taste your lips, feel your warm, bare skin against his, hear your affirmations that he was the only one for you. The next time you saw Solomon, Satan wanted it to be obvious that he knew your body inside and out and that Solomon wasn't nearly worthy enough to be your mate.

Now fueled by anger and his lust for you, his thoughts were really letting loose. He wanted you sprawled across his bed, legs tossed over his shoulders as he pounded into you, or maybe he'd have you ride him until you couldn't hold yourself up anymore. Maybe to reassure his worries, you'd take his cock down your throat, knowing how gorgeous you look when you struggle to fit him in your mouth.

He pumped his cock faster, using one hand to hold his base steady and add more pressure, chasing that sweet high. As water droplets dripped from his hair onto his body, Satan imagined pulling you into the shower with him, picking you up to fuck you against the wall, letting your moans and screams of his name echo in the bathroom to ensure everyone in the house knew exactly who was pleasuring you. He'd fuck you as long and as hard as you could stand it, making sure to reach the furthest depths within you, as long as you wanted him.

Satan was now panting as his climax approached, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. He used the last of his sense to picture bringing you to climax, eager to cum deep inside you, release all his stress into you, and feel you clench around his cock and milk him dry. Just dreaming of achieving that pushed him into that pleasurable zone, and he groaned deep in his throat as he released the first ropes of cum, moving his hand up to work the head of his cock, drawing out every bit of pleasure and cum he could.

He came a surprising amount, likely from lack of release while you'd been gone, and he felt a little sad about the waste as it washed down the drain. But now that his mind was cleared, and his body was well and truly relaxed, he couldn't wait for your return. He was going to make sure everyone knew that you were his, and relieve all his stress with you the way only you could do.

#satan x reader #obey me satan #obey me shall we date #obey me smut #satan smut #spicy minx 🔥 #the minx can write ✍️

[pinkyjulien]

It's been rotating in my head all morning and since I have to wait a few hours to get my day started, might as well throw my two cents in a proper post

We really should talk about Kerry Eurodyne

Now before you run off, I think it's important to point something out; As a fandom veteran who been here since early 2021, I think others will agree when I say that the discourse surrounding Kerry has always been a hot topic that comes back around every few weeks- but why does it keep coming back?

I'm well placed to know that ignoring a problem and not talking about it publicly doesn't solve anything; everyone is quick to throw assumption and accusations, to make "callout" post, to blow things out of proportions, to take someones's squick as personal attack, and the mob mentality does the rest; everyone follow whoever is going to be the loudest about an ongoing "fandom drama"

This isn't an attempt to show anyone that they're "wrong" or "right"; there is no right or wrong in this recurring discourse. This post is an attempt at opening an healthy and mature conversation! I come in peace gfhgfh

Prefacing this by saying that I'm not a Kerry fan, and I'm not bisexual. So why the hell do I care? Well to be frank, I don't particularly care, I have my own opinions on the character, but I do care (to an extent) about this "community" and I hate seeing what happened to me happen to others, especially new commers who never meant anything wrong. Nobody deserves to be bullied out of a fandom for sharing their opinions on their own blog/space!

Alright this intro was long but let's get on it- buckle up cause this is going to be a looooot of rambling

━

Through the years/months, I've noticed something rather sad; this isn't a debate between bisexual people vs biphobic people, as a lot of people might think and assume; this has always been queer people sharing, sometimes in a really awkward and hurtful way, their interpretation of a character (don't block me yet, please hear me out)

Those who know me knows that I personally care a lot about the canon and writers's visions, so first I want to share some posts about Kerry made by his literal "parents"

Mateusz Tomaszkiewicz, Narrative Designer at CDPR, shared informations on the different romance interest back in December 2020, on the game's release day

When asked about a MLM relationship option, here what he states:

(don't leave just yet)

On a now-deleted comment, RTalsorianGames, original creator of the Cyberpunk tabletop game and by definition original creator of Kerry Eurodyne, stated the following:

Please note that CDPR did in fact consult with Mike himself about Kerry being a MLM exclusive romance!

(Also this isn't a debate about if Kerry cares about V or not, let's not derail this conversation, remember that everyone is allowed to interpret a character and a relationship as they wish)

I wanted to share these tweets to point something really important; there is no "right" or "wrong" label for Kerry, and it all boils down to interpretation < key word

Kerry have multiple states; we HAVE to remember Kerry exist in some kind of cyberpunk multiverse!

We have his 2020 and 2023 self that are confirmed to be bisexual; this is the Kerry Mike and RTalsorian created, the Kerry they have full control and say over; the same young Kerry we see in Johnny's flashback

And then comes his 2077 self, which we see confirmed above as labeled as Homosexual (which again as been approved by Mike himself)

I personally think it's important to start with what his different creators have to say; Kerry is both Mike's and CDPR's character; Kerry is both labeled as being Bisexual and Homosexual

There is a lot of reasons why this change / evolution was made, even tho we all know the main reason; they needed a MLM romance in the game to complete the LI roster. But why take an already established character, a Bi character even, for the Gay romance?

I've seen a lot of people saying that CDPR erased his bisexuality, I understand why it might feel like this, but I don't think it's true or fair! Again, remember that Mike gave his OK for this; he could've at any moment said no, Kerry is HIS baby first and foremost

In game, we learn about Kerry's ex wife and kids; this is something CDPR could've not included at all (and THIS would've been erasing his bisexuality imo) it's not even something that is said out loud, but something to be found by dedicated fans; it's here on purpose, to give depth to the character and to his personal life!

We also see a couple of feminine clothes around his villa; let's not assume anything here, clothes have no genders especially in the 2077 setting, but it can also well point at one-night stand with women and/or multi-gender orgies for example

But, this won't be anything new or controversial, Kerry pushes femV advances in game- this is simply a fact! Like it or not, that's how CDPR's writers, RTAL and Mike decided to evolve Kerry's character for the game; everyone was ok with this

━

Now comes the root of the debate; Is it homophobic to mod Kerry to be romanceable by a femV? and is it biphobic to not be comfortable with this?

No, and no - (don't leave just yet, please read a bit more)

Remember that I'm "just" a gay man, I've had discussion with friends of all gender and orientation about this topic and it's been enlightning to hear the different opinions on the matter!

As previously mentioned, it all boils down to Interpretation.

The discourse recently came back because someone shared their uncomfortableness regarding mods that change Kerry's preferences; in the post tags, OP made sure to say that everyone was free to do anything, to ship anything, and that this was just their opinion; but obviously the fandom didn't read that part and started to throw accusation around, and here we are (I shouldn't have to remind people that we all are free to share whatever on our respective blogs, if it hurts you just block the person, don't jump them)

OP is a Bisexual Man; a lot of other Bisexual Men related to this post and rebloged it, sharing their thoughts in the tags (I also rebloged it, I know it caused a few people to back off and block me as a result, which I respect totally)

Going to pick up my questions back up to hopefully state my opinions and "analyses" of the situation as clear as possible

Is it homophobic to mod Kerry to be romanceable by a femV?

No, it's not

Kerry is bisexual, he was married to a women, and potentially still have sex with women and fem individuals, these infos are all canon in game.

Kerry pushes femV flirts away; but since he experience attraction to women, who is to say that in someone's own canon, their fem OC isn't a V, and doesn't have Johnny involved, changing how Kerry and their OC meet drastically; Kerry could fall in love with her! He could; he's bisexual after all.

Is it biphobic to not be comfortable with this?

No, it's not

Kerry has a clear preference for men; CDPR choose to show this multiple time in the game, during Johnny's flashback we can see him make out with a masc fan, we can see him being vulnerable with Johnny (imo, his lil crush is showing hard)

I personally haven't seen it/heard it in game, but I've been told that after learning about Kerry's ex-wife, Johnny has a vocal, surprised reaction, has if imagining Kerry with a woman is strange to him

However, there is a lot of biphobic things being said in the discourse, and not in the way you might think of

I thankfully never see the full extent of it; I don't see the obviously biphobic takes, stating that Kerry SHOULD NEVER be with a femV, people being nasty and ATTACKING femV/Kerry shippers; this is never ok, these have been blocked for a long time now

But I sadly see the other takes, which always icked me a bit; the takes that say, "you bisexuality isn't worth of respect if it isn't a 50/50 attraction at all time", takes that are sadly biphobic in nature (making it clear that I'm not pointing finger at anyone, nor am I accusing anyone of being biphobic)

This is what it boils down to, I think, this is the root of the problem

As mentioned before, a lot of Bisexual Men expressed their uncomfort when it comes to femV/Kerry mods; it invalidated Kerry's preference. But this isn't about Kerry, he's fictional, he CANT be hurt by anything, by mods or art or whatever; It invalidate Bisexual Men that share the same preference in Men, Bisexual men that related to Kerry for X or Y.

Bisexuality is a spectrum, queer people has been fighting against Bi erasure for years, but also against Bi stereotypes; and I think this is one of them? (Please correct me if I'm wrong)

Bisexuality isn't a strict 50/50 split preference- it can be! But 60/40, 20/80 and even 99/1 attractions are still Bisexual attractions. I've met a lot of queer people who, despite being bisexual by definition, choose not to label as such (prefering to label as straight or gay depending on their preferences) just because of this "bisexual police" imposing a strict 50/50; "How can you be bisexual, you've only dated men/women" etc

This is what is being imposed in the fandom, this is how it might looks like to people; when you attack a Bisexual Man sharing his uncomfort in seeing people not respecting a Bisexual character's preference, you're telling them "Hey, your bisexuality isn't valid if you have a preference". You're telling them "Your bisexuality isn't correct". You're showing them that you "fixed" a "flawed" bisexual character "that got erased as gay for having a preference" by "modding his bisexuality back"

Kerry being written as MLM exclusive in Cyberpunk 2077 isn't bi erasure; he's still Bisexual, he simply has a strong preference for Men. A preference that he always had, but that can also be amplified after his divorce with his ex wife, for multiple reasons; I also don't have to point out how many queer people in real life explored their homosexuality after being in a hetero-marriage for most of their lives! And that's ok, queer love is an ever evolving spectrum, and I think it's awesome we get more fleshed out characters that explore this in depth

I've seen people compare Kerry to Johnny, and I don't think it's fair; for the simple reason that Kerry is a romance option and Johnny is not.

Johnny express a clear preference for women; however he replies to V (and flirt, in some case) the same way regardless of gender! Kerry on the other end, as previously said, pushed femV's advanced away. Something Johnny can't do since he's not a romance option; tho if he was, and if he was pushing mascV advances away, it would be the exact same situation and same problematic!

Another character that is canonly bisexual is Goro; he replies to V's flirt through text messages the exact same way, he doesn't seem to express any preferences (and no, his "obligation in japan" isn't necessarily a wife, this is heteronormative and another problem all together, not the subject here)

People can express being uncomfortable seeing Johnny with a given gender, or Goro with a given gender; but there isn't any """reason""" to it outside of personal preferences

Kerry situation is problematic because it lies in his clearly, canonly stated preference, how people decide to interpret it, and how it can come off to other queer people who might share sexuality and/or preference with the character

━

Everyone is free to ship whoever however they want

But please; remember that everyone is different. People being uncomfortable with a character bisexuality preference being ""fixed"" shouldn't be too surprising; and if it is, please re-read my post/ You have to be ok with this fact, it's OK to make content that might be uncomfortable for others; this is fiction!

There isn't any Right or Wrong way to be bisexual, to be queer Kerry's bisexuality is perfectly fine; unmodded or modded Everyone is Different; Every Queer experiences is different People relate to characters in different way

Nobody is being misoginist; there isn't any double standard at play

Bisexual people sharing their opinions on their own blogs on how a fandom handle a character's bisexuality isn't biphobic, or an attack to anyone who interpret the character differently!

I promise you nobody is attacking anyone, and a lot of things being said accidently comes off as biphobic on both sides of this eternal "debate"

It all comes down to respecting others interpretations, and agreeing to disagree! Tumblr's filtering system work great, you can easily filter and block tags, or even people if needed

I might've said things awkwardly, and for this I apologise; but don't put words I didn't say into my mouth! If you don't agree, that's fine, and you're more than welcome to filter/block me if needed; but please do not paint me as biphobic or misoginist, same goes to everyone who shared their thoughts on the matter, these are serious accusation and can wrongfully hurt a lot of people

Ship and let Ship, take care of yourselves and remember to curate your space 🙏

#Cyberpunk 2077 #Kerry Eurodyne #fandom discourse #Long post #like-LOOOOONG LONG LONG post ghfhgfh #feeling like sharing my opinions on things a lot latetely don't mind me much #but I think it's important to have an open mind and think for ourselves - to not follow mob mentality #and to understand where everyone is coming from - to try and see opinions from every sides #fandom wank

[inkskinned]

guilty because i put up a boundary. guilty because i enforced it. i want to eat my own fist. hate the whole of it.

i tell my therapist that i don't really feel like i need boundaries. i say i am comfortable with most things; i'll figure it out as i go along. she says: that's a fawn response. i laugh about it, because it's either laugh about it or do something about it.

the thing is that once i like someone, i'll forgive them for anything. they don't even have to apologize for it. they could step over each of my desires and take all my teeth. it might take me a little while, but i'd get over it. i'd say: oh, she was having a hard day, and didn't realize i was serious about my safety. i'd say: he's always had anger issues, i feel bad that he hasn't been responding well to therapy. i'd say: you know, it kind of isn't fair of me to expect them to know i don't want to get hurt, i should have been more clear and repeated what i wanted.

i tell other people i'm easy-going. sometimes i get called good natured or happy-go-lucky. i am not able to list traits that i like about myself without mentioning how i help other people. i let people desiccate me and then i say - well, as long as they're happy.

i have been a bad person, is the thing. when i was really sick. and honestly sometimes even when i was doing better. i've hurt other people, and i don't want other people to hurt the way i did. i only have friends because others have forgiven me for the wrong i have done. i only have gotten this far because someone else gave me patience, and kindness, and help.

so it's not fair of me to set a boundary, ever. plus, if i set one and it is broken - that just hurts. and when someone crosses that line i drew, i have to take an action in response. i have to kick someone out of my life (as if i have so many other options) or i have to confront them about it (as if that doesn't make me cry) or. if i take the easy route: i have to simply accept that it happened and internalize it and move on; let it go without a fight.

i can't control, after all, how other people react to my boundaries. they probably are unfair boundaries anyway. it's easier if i just control how i react to the pain - if i just ignore it, and hope it goes away. no need to blow this out of proportion. no need to make a fuss. this way all the hurt stays inside of me, and doesn't slip out and get into anyone. this way is better, right.

who cares what it does to me.

#trauma response #spilled ink

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Seven Days to Fall Again | A Jeon Jungkook Series | Teaser

Inspired by the MV "Seven" by Jung Kook ft. Latto (obvi lol) Summary: You're finished with this relationship but Jungkook begs you for one more week, convinced that he can make you fall in love all over again. Pairing: Reader x Jungkook (almost exes to lovers lol) Warnings: Some explicit language (Like one word lol), arguing a/n: No clear plans for this other than following the music video storyline since I haven't seen too many fics like that :) Let me know if there are certain aspects from the music video that you would like to see! Series Masterlist

"I said no! End of discussion" I huff, tired of playing his games. "One week, that's all I'll need" he asks, doing better than I am at maintaining a sense of decorum at what he had intended on being our anniversary dinner. With me on the other hand fully intending on using this night to end things between us.

"I said I was done with this relationship. Why is that something that you just can't get through your head?" I argue. It's always like this with us, I'm always the one that gets upset and I hate that about myself. Where as he is able to stay calm, cool and collected and I hate that about him even more.

We're like fire and ice. I'm short tempered and he's patient. I'm outgoing and he's introverted. I love adventures and he would rather stick close to home. 'Why would we want to leave when we have everything we need here?' he would say to me. 'Why bother breathing when you're going to die anyways?' I retorted back and he couldn't offer up an argument to that thankfully.

"Please Noona, can you keep your voice down?" he pleads with me, noticing that the people around us have started taking notice of our conversation. "You can't tell me what to do Jungkook. I'm still your elder whether we are together or not so you do not get to disrespect me like that!" I say getting up from my chair making moves to leave. I know in my head that I'm blowing things out of proportion, but when I am this upset I see red and I can't seem to stop myself.

"All this time you've been messing around and playing with my heart and I'm done Jungkook. I'm sick of yo-" "Noona watch out!" he yells, pulling me towards him and out of harms way.

It's funny, he's trying to save me from getting hurt when he's been the one who causes me the most pain these days...

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[cringefaecompilation]

okay actual serious ep80 thoughts now

first things first: "tHeY didn’t LeArN aNyThInG" feels like it’s really reductive. i think people came into this expecting all of their communication problems to be insta-fixed so that they can be a perfect cute little found family and that's just not how bh rolls. i do think that it was a much needed diversion from them constantly forcing themselves into third gear (along with the wok sledding, everyone forgets the wok sledding) to stop the bad guys. other people have pointed out that if not given any instructions they’ll be fine with opening up to each other and being genuine, but they froze and immediately started getting antsy the moment they were told to. i just think that’s funny.

i don’t think imogen and laudna are hypocrites. rather they’re very much stuck with their own traumas and assume that their experiences are universal. imogen thinks she was born cursed and that everything in her life has just been set up to punish her for something she inherently deserves. there’s an abusive cunt off the port bow trapped in laudna’s head that she literally had to force herself to walk away from (and make saving throws to stop) to not be forced into hoovering up that shard without her consent.

they both saw fearne shrug off dozens of times she could have died horribly or faced terrible consequences and get off scott-free and missed the forest for the trees. they want her to take power because she can actively consent to it rather than be slapped with insane power at a young age and then forced to course-correct, which probably explains why they got so angry at ashton for "tricking" her: they saw it as them taking something she could use to better herself.

and on that note, laudna telling fearne she’s glad she could make her choice didn’t feel like it was backhanded, envious, bitter, none of that. i think she genuinely does see this as fearne making a choice on her own behalf in a way that she is incapable of.

the whole kerfuffle with callowmoore didn’t make me hate the ship, but it did make me even less fond of the fans of it given the shippers who turned on ashton saying all kindsa nasty shit that got disproved in the 4sd. i’ve always preferred the idea of a slowburn with these two because ashley has said fearne is unsure of how she would handle love or a relationship herself and now taliesin has said that ashton finds themselves unlovable.

as much as i joke and bitch, i don’t think that everyone’s been "forcing the ship" so much as they’ve been assuming that the constant flirtations between the two of them will make them more comfortable with taking the shard and meeting in the middle. the two of them deciding to be friends for the moment is far superior and makes the slow burn way more likable because now it’s something on their own terms rather than them getting together because they were told to.

irregardless of it stays platonic or develops into romance "callowmoore is abusive" is a terrible take no matter if you like the ship or hate it and i hate that it got blown so far out of proportion anditmademelegithateanothershipbutlikethatsnotimportantrightnowandidontwantpeopletogetmadatmeokay.

and yet! there’s always going to be this huge discomfort of the fact that fearne was always unsure about taking it, didn’t explain why she was unsure to anybody expect for chetney (and orym should have fucking said something), and then just decided to take it just so people would stop hassling her about it. she wasn’t forced into taking it but she certainly was backed into a corner about it. she did not ever want it but she saw that it was making everyone really upset and took it because hey, might as well.

"we all might as well" is something everyone’s been saying and while everyone else has their reasons for making the best out of a terrible situation, fearne notably did not have the exact same problem that most of them shared (i have this insane power inside me threatening to blow at any given second that i just have to live with on a daily basis). she wasn’t even aware of the raw deal she had been saddled in her existence with until it was pointed out to her!

long story short the main problem it seems that bh has to get over is just assuming they know what's best for each other. it should’ve been fcg and i will die on that hill. let ashton have a robot sister.

#🍃 #critical role #critrole #cr spoilers #fearne calloway #edit: I'VE EDITED THIS POST LIKE 17 TIMES BUT I GOTTA ADD THIS #i don't think matt or the table railroaded ashley into taking the shard or were encouraging her to take a risk #at least we won't know til we get laura on 4sd again

[verdantglow]

Fuck it, posts my SmallEtho playlist.

Part-Time Soulmate, Full-Time Problem: A SmallEtho/Boat Boys Playlist

(Best listened to on shuffle.)

This is a kinda long playlist (28 tracks), so if you only have time for a few songs, check out: ‘Pyrokenesis’; ‘I Am Fred Astaire’; & ‘Built To Burn.’

Full track list & selected lyrics under cut.

1. Son of a Gun - Motion City Soundtrack

Have you had enough? Are you tough? Are you broken?/Hit me where it hurts, don’t just curtsey & sulk/I know I deserve every elegant word that you’re hurling at me

2. Pyrokenesis - 7chariot

When you say the things you say, they start a little spark/Ignite this small but also highly flammable heart

You’re setting me on fire, I don’t wanna fight it/You don’t need a lighter, you’re a flame/Drowning myself in water only makes it harder/Hard for me to keep myself away

3. Just One Yesterday - Fall Out Boy

I want to teach you a lesson in the worst kind of way/Still I’d trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday

4. Violently Alive - I Hate Kate

I hate that you’re there/And I’m here/In the same room/Miles from me to you/We’re so distant/But close enough to touch

5. Tiger Teeth - Walk The Moon

Give in, give in, I want you back/One heart, one too many to stomach/Love bites so deep and we got tiger teeth

6. It’s Not A Fashion Statement, It’s A Deathwish - My Chemical Romance

Hip-hip-hooray for me, you talk to me/But would you kill me in my sleep?/Lay still like the dead/From the razor to the rosary, we could lose ourselves/And paint these walls in pitchfork red

7. True Romance - Motion City Soundtrack

I’m a screwup of epic proportions/A walking hand grenade/Hyper-manic, a dime store dramatic/A conduit for pain

She said “Don’t speak, don’t think,/Just take it off, take it off”/I said “Don’t speak, don’t think,/Just mess me up, mess me up”

8. Violence - blink-182

Like violence, you have me, forever and after/Like violence, you kill me, forever and after

9. I Am Fred Astaire - Taking Back Sunday

I’m under the assumption that I’m gonna be the one that’s leaving you/Tonight, oh, tonight/Well I flipped every switch that I could find on my way out/Just to upset you more/Just to keep you busy/Just to make you angry/Just because you were right

I’m stuttering through it, but I hear it/Well I-I I hear it’s good t-t-to stick to what you know

10. The Wolf - The Crane Wives

I am not a tempest/I light torches in my sleep/I have gasoline in my veins/I am always burning, burning burning

11. Crave - Waterparks

I’m cravin’ a getaway from the/Smooth talk that’s keeping me grounded/To the carpet in my room/My quiet blue tomb of you

I wish I could forget you

12. Hold Me Like A Grudge - Fall Out Boy

Hold me, hold me like a grudge/The world is always spinning and I can’t keep up/Faster and faster, can’t do it on my own/Part-time soulmate, full-time problem yeah/Hold me like a grudge

13. Formidable - Twenty One Pilots

You are formidable to me/‘Cause you seem to know it, where you wanna go/Yeah yeah yeah I’ll follow you/But you should know/I might be cynical towards you/But I just can’t believe that I’m for you/Yeah yeah yeah I can die with you/Just let me know

14. Play With Fire - Sam Tinnesz feat Yacht Money

I ride the edge/My speed goes in the red/Hot blood, these veins/My pleasure is their pain/I love to watch the castles burn/These golden ashes turn to dirt/I’ve always liked to play with fire

15. Bulletproof Heart - My Chemical Romance

I’ve got a bulletproof heart/You’ve got a hollow point smile/Me and your runaway scars/Got photographed dream on the getaway mile/Let’s blow a hole in this town/And do our talking with a laser beam/Gunnin’ out of this place in a bullet’s embrace/Then we’ll do it again

16. The Truth Is, You Should Lie With Me - Say Anything

You’re a pretty face, you should like me/I want to get used by you/‘Cause I’m full of hate, just excite me/I want to get bruised by you

17. Red - Pale Waves

Oh no baby, are we gonna make it this time?/I always take hearts that shouldn’t be mine, be mine/Slow down baby, are we gonna make it alive?/You’ve got a face that I always recognize/Always recognize

18. Kill V. Maim - Grimes

I did something bad, maybe I was wrong/Sometimes people says that I’m a big time bomb/But I’m only a man/And I do what I can

19. FUNERAL GREY - Waterparks

I said that you can call me, beep me/If you want my skin/She rolled her eyes and then she said/“I know your dying wish is to be baptized in my spit”

20. Shiver - Motion City Soundtrack

Shiver away, I thought the action was real/Somewhere I know that’s just the way you are/it’s hard to believe that you’re a part of me/And I can’t believe when you carry on and on

21. Kiss With A Fist - Florence + The Machine

My black eye casts no shadow/Your red eye sees nothing/Your slaps don’t stick, your kicks don’t hit/So we remain the same/Love sticks, sweat drips/Break the lock if it don’t fit/A kick to the teeth is good for some/A kiss with a fist is better than none

22. Mr. Brightside- The Killers

It started out with a kiss/How did it end up like this/It was only a kiss/It was only a kiss

23. Tear You Apart - She Wants Revenge

Escape was just a nod and a casual wave/Obsess about it heavy for the next two days/It’s only just a crush, it’ll go away/It’s just like all the others, it’ll go away/Or maybe this is danger and he just don’t know/You pray it all away, but it continues to grow

24. Can You Feel My Heart (Remix) - Bring Me The Horizon, Jeris Johnson

I’m scared to get close/And I hate being alone/I long for that feeling to not feel at all

Holding on, bring me close, feel my heart/Can you feel my heart?

25. Built To Burn - Shaffer James

We’ll build a world/And burn it down/Everything is pretty/When we burn it to the ground

26. Hatef—k - The Bravery

There will be no tenderness, no tenderness/I will show no mercy for you/You had no mercy for me/The only thing that I ask/Love me mercilessly

27. Stupid For You - Waterparks

You’re playing ring around my head/I’ll wear you like a halo/You’re a symphony/I’m just a sour note/I’ll take what I can get/The best is hard to grip when everybody wants you/And everybody wants you

28. My Obsession - Pale Waves

I’m stood still, I can barely breathe/You’re such a mess but you’re always beautiful to me/Run your fingers across my mouth/I’m not prepared to stay here without you

#so I know I said I was gonna do a series of art based on songs from that list #& I probably still will do a couple more! #but right now I am tired of waiting for myself to make a new cover image #or do any of the other paintings #so here it is with cover art being the only song based piece I’ve finished so far #also please tell me your thoughts on these songs if you have any! #I really really really want to discuss these songs with other SmallEtho fans… #okay now maybe my brain will let me focus on something else. #we can only hope. #joel smallishbeans #etho #smallishbeans #ethoslab #smalletho #boat boys #hermitshipping #trafficshipping #part time soulmate full time problem #Spotify