#your mothers birthing days are making things difficult for me guys | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lene-loki · 10 months

Text

Heal Me

"I′m not waiting for you to cure, you to heal me I'm not waiting for, for your love You can keep it I′m not waiting for you to come back For you to let me down like that I'm not waiting for you to cure I don′t need it" - Grace Carter "Heal Me"

Summary: Matt Murdock can't stop being Daredevil but that's the only thing you ever asked of him. He made his decision when you gave him an ultimatum although knowing you were pregnant at the time. But now after three years in which he has rarely seen his child, he doubts if he made the right decision in choosing his Alter Ego over you and your daughter.

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Female!Reader

Warnings: Angst

A/N: Hello guys! I haven't proofread this Imagine yet so please excuse any mistakes!! And let me know if you want a second part to this because I still have some angsty ideas left for this 👀❤️

You watched your reflection in the bathroom mirror.

Shaking you clutched the edge of the sink until your knuckles turned white. You looked as horrible as you were feeling. Dark bags under your eyes, your hair resembling a bird's nest with the messy bun you just tied yourself a minute earlier. But you needed to be strong. For yourself but most importantly for your daughter. It didn't matter how difficult this situation was for you, it was still Emely's father you were feeling this way about.

In Emely's three years of life she has seen her father merely a handful of times for which you cursed your catholic ex-boyfriend for eternity.

You would lie if you'd say you were sad to see Matt this little, but you needed to swallow down your pride. He was still the father of your child and if you wanted to or not he was an important part of Emely's life and of course you would never keep her away from him. She needs him.

The doorbell rang.

Usually this sound didn't startle you but now your heart hammered against your ribcage as if it tried to escape your shaking body.

You took a few calming breaths on your way to the front door. This was such a rare occurance you would get it behind you now. There was no need to feel this way. Deep down you knew why seeing him was still such a matter to you.

You wouldn't admit it to anyone not even yourself but to this day you never really processed the breakup between you and Matt Murdock.

When he chose Daredevil instead of you and your unborn child three years ago, your whole world fell apart.

You were really naive enough to believe he would kiss his costume goodbye to be there as a father for your growing little family. But that was just your wishful thinking. In reality he didn't even seem to be happy of the surprising news of your pregnancy. He didn't smile, he didn't hug you, he didn't cry - he was concerned about how a baby would affect his nightly activities. It ended with you leaving and moving out of Hell's Kitchen to Manhattan where you knew you could stay at your mother's.

You tried to tell yourself that this decision was as hard for him to make as it was for you to ask it. Sometimes you thought about him maybe having regrets, maybe suffering as hard as you were but reality always humbled you down. If this all would be the case he would have been there for your daughter. But he never was. He missed every single important step in your child's life and you wondered if it haunted him missing out so much on her or if he really just didn't care. Matt wasn't there in the hospital when you gave birth, he wasn't there on her first birthday, he wasn't there when she took her first little steps, he wasn't there when she spoke her first word - he was never there.

But now was the rare time again where he came to pick her up to take her with him to Hell's Kitchen for the weekend. Although he has been nothing but the worst father for Emely she really loved him.

It broke your heart how happy the toddler was when she saw Matt. It wasn't easy for you to let her go with him alone a whole weekend but it was still his child as well.

There were times where you would have taken him back without a second thought if he would have asked you to despite the pain he caused you because you still loved him this much and you were still dreaming of a little family consisting Matt, you and your daughter.

But that was just another hopeless dream. Now you wouldn't just go back to him that easily. He caused too much damage.

Opening the front door you were met with the sight of Matt Murdock. Your breath gets stuck in your throat, your fingers shaking nervously. Matt akwardly played with his tie as he cleared his throat.

"Hello, (Y/N)." He said softly.

Your eyes fell onto his red lenses while you chewed on the inside of your cheeks. "Hello, Matt."

You needed to rapidly blink as you felt the stinging of tears behind your eyelids.

You had always dreamt about the scenario of greeting him with a kiss and a freshly cooked dinner after he comes home from work. It was all you ever thought of in your pure bliss when you were still his girl. No one could have prepared you back then how shattering all the future greetings with him would be.

Your dream of a happy family died the day he chose Daredevil.

You had already Emely's packed bag sitting in the hallway next to you. Bending down to pick it up, you wanted to give it to him but you paused. Nervously clearing your throat: "Do you need help carrying Emely's bag?"

He shook his head with a small smile. "No, thank you, it's fine."

You just nodded and handed him the bag.

The more you were interacting with him, the more it felt like you were talking to a stranger and this was what hurt the most.

You often asked yourself if his heart was still as broken as yours or if he moved on and lived a happier life now - with someone else maybe.

This thoughts destroyed you. You had to turn your back onto him, barely being able too contain a sob that threatened to leave your mouth.

"EMELY!" You called out after your toddler who was playing with her dolls in the living room. "Your Daddy is here." You tried to sound cheerful and happy for your daughter but your voice ever so slightly cracked and you just knew Matt noticed it.

"DADDY!" You heard her immediately scream.

Emely's little legs came running out of the living room while Matt started to smile so bright that his teeth showed. He bend down to the toodler, instantly picking her up with his free arm.

"Hello, honey." He cooed at the little girl, unable to stop smiling at his daughter.

She started to giggle - just happy to be in her father's arms.

Your teeth sank painfully into your bottom lip as you weren't able to hold back your tears any longer. Matt sensed the shifting in the air, how your heartbeat betrayed your emotions and you just hoped he wouldn't comment it. You just knew if he'd confronted you with the feelings you kept hidden inside of you for all these years, you would crumble apart in front of him. But you didn't wanted him to know how everlasting your heartbreak was while he's been probably in a new realtionship by now.

Matt frowned the longer you kept fighting against your coming breakdown.

"Take care of her. Please." Your voice sounded weak and pleading.

It wasn't easy for you to give your daughter away for the weekend. She was everything you had and you knew you would miss her so much this night even though she was only with Matt for a few days.

He sincerely nodded, sad features evident on his face.

"Of course." He promised while you put your hand on Emely's tiny cheek. "Have fun with Daddy, sweetheart." You tried to smile, your lip quivering.

She smiled at you, her hazel eyes shone brightly.

She resembled Matt so much. It was breathtakingly beautiful and tragic at the same time. "I love you." You whispered against her cheek before pressing a loving kiss on her soft skin.

Matt hesitated.

"(Y/N)." He started but couldn't find the strength to finish what he wanted to say.

Unbeknownst to you, his heart was just as broken as yours was and if his eyes hadn't been hidden behind his red lenses you would have seen the unbearable pain swimming inside of them.

"I'll pick her up on sunday." You said, your voice just above a whisper.

Not waiting for his reply you closed the door, you couldn't hold back your tears any longer.

With your back pressed against the door, you slid down to the floor, Letting your tears run freely down your cheeks now you still pressed your hand over your mouth because you knew Matt could hear you.

He wasn't able to move although he was carrying an impatient toddler in his arms. He heard your sniffing, he heard your surpressed sobs, he heard your heart breaking - all the things he promised he would never make you feel and yet he was the reason why you've been so miserable.

His own eyes stung with tears as he fought against ringing your door bell again. He preferably would have pulled you into his arms and promised you that everything would be alright.

But he had no right to comfort you anymore. You weren't his anymore.

He swallowed down the lump in his throat thinking about how you still could be his girl if he hadn't destroyed everything you two had.

But sadly, his regret came three years too late.

#charlie cox #matt murdock #daredevil #imagine #marvel #mcu #marvel mcu #angst #mcu fanfiction

29 notes · View notes

rosiahills22 · 1 year

Text

Notice me

Jake “hangman” seresin x Rosie Seresin

Disclaimer! This is my first time writing so be kind! Let me know what you think please! Comment, message, reblog! Thank you! Also no use of Y/N

Warnings: pregnancy, birth, post partum depression, arguing, slight suggestion at the end

If you told me 5 years ago I would be married to Jake Seresin and now have a beautiful baby girl together, I would never believe you. Here we are married for 3 years together for 5 with our beautiful daughter, Daisy Grace Seresin who just turned 6 weeks

They always tell you about the beautiful things of having a child. The first smiles, the giggles, warm bath time and reading stories, all the sweet newborn cuddles. Watching your husband be a girl dad. What they don’t tell you is becoming a mother can make you feel like you are not your own person anymore. They don’t tell you that you will feel lonely, the most alone you will ever feel. I never understood why moms got the baby blues when they just had such a blessing, but now I’m on the cruel end of it.

It’s not Jakes fault he doesn’t notice how distant I’ve become or how I’m in my head most days. He has work, and a new baby to think about. But…why can’t he see I’m silently drowning,questioning everything I’m doing. Am I enough? Not only for Daisy but for Jake as well. Am I holding her right, am I spending enough time with Jake? Has he noticed I still have 10 pounds of baby weight to lose? All these questions swirling in my mind 24/7 makes the little sleep I get difficult. And now we are hosting a BBQ for the dagger squad to spend more time together and get Daisy used to her little family.

The dagger squad and penny and mav all started to arrive at the Seresin house around 4:30pm. Phoenix and Penny helping Rosie out in the kitchen while fanboy stole Daisy from her bassinet in the kitchen. “Don’t drop my daughter Mickey” giving him a pointed look that should have come off playful but came off more anxiety ridden than anything. All fanboy did was nod and joined the men outside around the grill and picnic table.

“So Rosie, how is motherhood treating you?” Penny asked while chopping carrots for the salad. You swear she was giving you a sympathetic look, almost like she knows everything going on in your head.

“Oh it’s great penny, thank you” Rosie smiled, more of a grimace, making penny and phoenix frown.

“Well let’s these sides out the meat should be done any moment now” Rosie said

Penny and Phoenix shared a look but followed Rosie outside none the less. Penny mentally promised to watch Rosie tonight and see if she notices anything else a little off with the seresin wife.

As the girls joined the guys and Daisy outside she noticed Rooster now holding little Daisy making her happy as can be.

“There’s my pretty lady” Jake smiled, reaching an arm out towards Rosie. Rosie put the bowl of salad down and reached towards Jake wrapping her arms around him. “Here I am” barely a smile on the girls lips. Rooster, mav, payback and bob seemed to notice the low energy Rosie was giving but seemed to blame it on being a new mother.

“Well everyone, let’s eat!” Mav said.

Rosie took Daisy from Roosters arms and held her while she ate, a salad because those 10 pounds have been nagging her all day, mocking her. It’s a little hard with one arm and a wiggly baby but, she’s mom she has to take care of Daisy, well that’s what her mind says. Once Penny was done, she offered to take Daisy.

“Here Rosie I can take Daisy so you can finish”

“Oh no” Rosie started “that’s alright I’m done anyway”

“Rosie you just had some salad…you sure you’re full”

“Yeah..I had a good lunch and you know how hard baby weight it to lose” Rosie laughed trying to play it off. But everyone shared a little look with eachother. A look saying that was a little off for Rosie to say. Usually Rosie is very body positive. This comment goes right over Jakes head as he’s too busy trying to get Daisy to laugh in Rosie’s arms.

The rest of the night seems to go smoothly, atleast for Jake it does. Every once in awhile Rosie makes a degrading comment about herself that she laughs off or a “oh you know just mom stuff I guess”. Everyone seems to notice the sad eyes and distant smile in Rosie, everyone but her husband. The daggers all agree to stay a little bit and see if they can get Jake away long enough to ask if Rosie is alright.

Daisy let’s put a long yawn, “well I think it’s time for little ladies bedtime” Rosie says. “You want me to take her darlin’?” Jake says. “Oh no I’m gonna feed her to sleep tonight, seems a little hungry” Jake leans over and gives a goodnight kiss to Daisy on her forehead and the daggers all day their good nights.

Penny thinks now is the time. “Hey Jake is Rosie okay?” Jake gives a curious frowns “yeah..why?” Phoenix looks around and then at Jake and says “Well she was making comments about herself all night, not nice comments either and barely smiled all night.”

Jakes frowns deeply and says “Well…what..she just is tired…right?” Jake is now thinking back, really thinking and is starting to realize all the comments about her weight, needing constant reassurance she’s doing something right. Now Jake is noticing how she barely touches him, sleeps towards the edge of the bed, pushes him away subtly by saying she needs to pump or change daisy’s diaper. The giant sweaters in this San Diego heat.

Jake wants to punch himself now, how could he let his amazing wife think of herself as anything less than perfect. Jake starts to look around at everyone, all giving him sympathetic looks.

“How did I not see her hurting?” Jake starts, before he could spiral anymore Penny says “I think she has post partum depression, Jake, it’s very common, especially in first time moms” Jake just can’t believe his sunshine is having cloudy days. Rosie is the most amazing human, Jake thinks, she should be nothing but happy all the time, she deserves it.

“Doesn’t she have a 6 week appointment coming up soon?” Payback recalls to the group. “Uh..yeah it’s on Monday” Jake states. “Maybe she needs to bring up these doubts and feelings to the doctor.” Bob says “she’s hurting and she may need more help beyond what we can do” Bob finishes.

“We will be by you guys through this all, babysitting, just sitting with Rosie if you need to be gone” Coyote starts “but you need to help Rosie realize she needs help too”

Jakes head feels like it’s spinning, like a bomb just dropped. But he needs to get it on straight and buckle up, because his wife is hurting and he needs to help her anyway he can.

“Talk to Rosie tonight and give us a call in the morning with anything we could do to help” Maverick says. “I think it’s time to call it a night everyone” Rooster states. The daggers all give Jake reassuring smiles and hugs and Penny reassured him again that it’s normal and he couldn’t have prevented this. Jake closes the front door and makes his way upstairs.

When he gets to their bedroom Rosie is combing through her wet hair, having just took a shower. “Hey, everyone leave? Sorry I didn’t come back down I just needed a shower” Rosie says. “Yeah they left, don’t worry, they send their love” Jake says.

Jake is now just starring at Rosie wondering how to bring this up with her. Rosie notices jakes starring and asks “…you okay?”. Jake just sighs and decides to bite the bullet, “Are you okay?”. Rosie looks around confused “yeah…why are you asking?”. Jake decides to just put it all out there. Rosie just gives Jake a confused smile.

“The others pointed it out to me tonight and I don’t know how I never noticed and I will beat myself up everyday for it but you’ve been distant and making mean comments about yourself” slowly the confused smile drops from Rosie’s face. Her mind is going crazy, the others noticed? Was I acting that weird? Maybe they notice I’m not that great too.

“Jake…I’m fine.” Rosie turns to the vanity to put lotion on her stomach, trying to get these stretch marks gone. She is so in her head she doesn’t even realize she’s rubbing her skin raw and tears are starting to line her eyes, Jake is trying to talk to her. “Honey!” Jake says loudly. Rosie finally snaps out of it and looks at Jake. Jake walks over to Rosie and grabs her hands.

“Baby what is wrong?” Jake says. Rosie just looks at him and all of a sudden feels like a dam burst in her chest and she just starts sobbing. Jake is quick to bring her to his chest cooing at her and telling her everything is ok.

“I don’t know what is happening to me!” Rosie cried “I feel sad and lonely all the time! It’s like I’m a stranger in my own body, I hate myself! I hate the stretch marks, I hate this fucking 10 pounds I can’t lose! My hair is ugly, I never sleep and I feel so horrible because I know I can be better for you and Daisy, you both deserve better than what I’m giving” Rosie is still clutching onto Jake for some sense of grounding. “ I just don’t know what to do, I can’t keep feeling like this, I can’t.”

Jake feels awful standing their holding his wife. Not noticing she was drowning in her own mind.

“Baby..baby look at me” Rosie looks up at Jake. “There’s my pretty girl” Jake gives a small smile. Rosie just stares at Jake.

“I’m so sorry baby, I’m sorry I didn’t see you hurting earlier. But I see you now and I’m going to do everything I can to help you see what I see.” Jake starts “wanna know what I see?” Jake says. Rosie just nods her head. “I see my entire world when I look at you, I see my gorgeous wife who has the most kind heart, I see those beautiful eyes that I could get lost in for hours, I see you being the best damn mother I have ever seen. I see you baby, you are so gorgeous to me, stretch marks and all, and those 10 pounds? Yeah that went straight to those hips I love to grab” Jake smirks, Rosie rolls her eyes fondly and gives a slight chuckle.

“There’s my girl, all I want to see is your smile, what can I do baby?” Jake says

“I don’t know…Jake I think I need help, like professional help” Rosie states. Jake looks at her with nothing but fondness and pride. She’s so strong Jake thinks.

“Okay baby we will talk with your doctor at your appointment on Monday, ok?” Jake says. “Sounds like a plan to me” Rosie says. Rosie looks over at Jake smirking. Jake looks at her with gleeful curiosity. “What are you smirking at?” Rosie looks at Jake and smiled innocently “you know I’ll probably be cleared for certain activities on Monday, but for now I think hugs and kisses will make me feel better till then”. Jake just smirks at his wife and says “Now I can definitely do that” Jake and Rosie lay in bed together all night holding eachother and laughing, kisses here and there. In their own peaceful quiet bliss.

Until Daisy felt left out and and starting crying over the baby monitor. “Duty calls” Jake says kissing her forehead. Rosie looks as Jake goes and gets Daisy, realizing she didn’t need to be alone in her mind, cause she has the best support team out there. She also set a reminder to thank the dagger squad. They sure are the best family.

MY FIRST STORY EVER! Remember to be kind! Feedback is always welcome! Comment, reblog and message and follow me! ❤️ thanks for reading!

#top gun #top gun maverick #hangman seresin x reader #jake seresin #hangman x you #jake hangman seresin #glen powell #hangman #top gun maverick hangman

84 notes · View notes

vouam · 17 days

Note

just found this guy’s answer to a question on quora (“is misandry a problem in the US?” or something of that nature) and was wondering what your reaction to it would be. there are some points i wouldn’t be sure how to refute, though it’s certainly not enough to change my radfem beliefs lol. i’ll copy and paste it since i can’t send ss in anon

Q:“is misandry prevalent in today’s society?”

A:“I would say so.

Woman: doesn't want a child so she secretly aborts it.

Man: doesn't want a child and is forced to pay child support for 18 years while being ridiculed as a dead beat dad

Woman: my body, my choice

Man: has his genitals forcibly mutilated for no good reason at birth

Woman: free drinks at the club on ladies night

Man: there is no men's night. Drink prices increase to cover all the free drinks ladies get

Woman: oh please keep yourself safe

Man: forced to sign up for selective services (a.k.a. draft) at 18.

Woman: complains about low paying job

Men: 67% of work place injuries happen to men, 93% of work place fatalities happen to men. No one bats an eye

Woman: mostly automatically given custody of children no matter what

Men: you can see your children on the weekend only and pay for child support

Man: simply accused of abusing a woman and goes straight to jail.

Woman: beats the man senseless and if the man defends himself goes to jail. If he doesn't defend himself he still might go to jail or if he is lucky police will tell him to quit making a big deal about it. Has 1 place in the country to go to for sheltering battered men despite the fact that women are the perpetrators of domestic violence some 40% of the time. Woman, have countless battered women shelters to go to.

Man: gets raped by woman at gun point being forced to give oral sex and held captive for days. Society has a good laugh

Woman: gets raped and her perpetrator is rightfully punished. No one is laughing about it. Woman gets psychological help and all kinds of assistance from society. Also if she makes false accusations of rape, ruining a man's life, no one says a thing about it and she is free to go on accusing.

Men: penalties for the same crime as women are much longer sentences.

Men: comprise 60 some % of homeless population

Men: comprise of a majority of suicides

I could go on but it's only going to anger the feminazis more and more”

reading crap like this makes me so mad tbh, like i understand moids don’t have easy lives just because they’re moids but GOOD FUCKING GRIEF it’s like they just can’t fucking get enough of acting like society wasn’t built by men for men. 🙏🙏 sorry it just gets me upset. anyway love ur blog!!

Oooof this is a really great ask so thank you for sending this in! I guess I’ll approach this by answering each one individually (although I might repeat myself)

Men pay child support while women can just have an abotion

This is a very strange argument. Because firstly not every country has fully legal abortions. 47 countries only allow it for health reasons, 43 to save the mother’s life and 22 it is fully illegal. A lot of men like this seem to forget that there are other countries on this planet. I’d personally rather be the gender that has to pay child support for an unwanted baby. Even in the case of legal abortions, abortions are not easy to go through. It is mentally very difficult and can be an invasive procedure. Women are shamed for having abortions in every country, even the most ‘accepting’ places.

Circumcision

I am very against circumcision and this was probably his most valid point(?) But his point excludes the fact that FGM is practiced in many countries and cultures. And while male circumcision is usually done for religious reasons claiming its ‘hygienic’ and has little to no bad side effects while FGM can kill women and girls, and is done for far more malicious reasons that I can’t even begin to describe.

Men’s drinks night

Does he know the implications of what ‘buying a woman a drink’ means?? Yeah, I’d much rather be a man in this situation 😭

Drafted at 18

I am against anyone being drafted, and I’m against any military work period. But men made this rule because they deem men to be brave and strong - a stereotype designed to benefit them.

Work place injuries and fatalities

Most injuries and fatalities happen with manual labour, construction/factory work etc. Same stereotype as listed in the point before this.

Custody over children

Again, this happens due to a stereotype that benefits men. Women are ‘better parents/nurturing’ while men are not and should go out there and work and achieve their goals while women stay at home. Literally designed to benefit men. Also, a lot of men view the custody struggle as a privilege because they cannot be bothered to be fathers.

Going to prison because of a simple accusation and less abuse shelters for men

This is the craziest point because men do not go to prison over some random accusation pulled out from thin air. In order to accuse someone of abuse, you need extensive indisputable evidence. Even then, the police will not take it seriously or the defence will win the case for whatever reason. These are the hardest crimes to prove in a court and the statistics show this. Less abuse shelters for men because they are far FAR less likely to be a victim. Yes, its’s sad but this literally proves misogyny is a thing rather than misandry - because I know damn well which sex I’d rather be in this instance.

People laugh at male rape victims and women are given full support/legal justice

I addressed this in the previous point. Women are ridiculed and not believed/not given justice at an extremely higher rate than men.

Longer male prison sentences

Same stereotype that I’ve said before about being stronger/braver vs weak/nurturing. The stereotype was made to benefit them. Also this ignores that a lot of the time there are other aspects to a crime that result in a higher sentence given. For example 1st degree murder done for financial motive vs sexual motive.

Larger male homeless population and male suicide rate

I guess this is more of a question of why men are more likely to be homeless or commit suicide. Make suicide rate studies suggest it’s harder for men to admit mental health struggles/reach out for help. Again, it’s sad but the strong brave stereotype was designed to benefit them, like I’ve said before. Permanent homelessness is largely due to addiction, mental health, childhood poverty, financial crisis, loss of relationships to family/partner. These can all happen to women, except a lot of the female homeless population are trafficked, resort to prostitution, enter abusive relationships to escape the streets. In a lot of countries, people seem to think its 99% men that are homeless, but its usually not. You just typically only see male homeless people sitting/sleeping on the street in public spaces - that’s a more terrifying place for a woman to be compared to a man.

—

I guess this guy’s main problems is that he:

- Thinks USA/Europe/western countries are the only places that exist

- Can’t see that bad things that happen to men are actually a result of stereotypes designed to benefit the male population

- Makes up statistics in his head that aren’t true

- Has a crazy victim complex

- Can’t see that the women’s position in his scenario is actually worse

I hope this helps with any future debates and refutes! And I hope I explained myself well enough 😭

#radblr #radical feminism #misogyny #misandry

5 notes · View notes

scentedchildnacho · 2 months

Text

He just told me the compass program is racist....they compiled people here because the mother was really battered......like his mom.....was murdered by his dad for having a boyfriend......

I told him its California so the most extreme reaction from most normative conduct......most people get aggravated if their partner doesn't have friends and tries to cling to them...most people feel kind of harassed if their partner won't go to homo genetics

I told him I looked at schools in California to get a jobby job have an emancipation promise....and if it's graphic design the most militant feminist point right away this is the furthest from the patriarchal order....death wish or how to meet weirdos right away

He told me San Diego is the most expensive city.......I said yea you can't get a job here....without being told to entertain weirdos hey that guy wants to give you his welfare check with yours it will ask you about coffee to do weird sex stuff to him and you will have to fly away...

I think about emigrating because I really cant defend myself about how mean and irresponsible the upper class privilege gets to me......and it's having to go somewhere foreign though if it's Czech advise it's if you go there you only speak if your here you only speak English....

So metropolization is a lot more difficult.....then it can appear beliefs a nation best carries out a company agenda does create borders

Anyway I wanted to know what the feminist annals were about what happened to public school women....so if it's California they just tell you what management is ...

It is all kind of genetic racism.......and a lot of people get murdered by cops if they know that stuff about birth and farming.....if you ever try to work with a cities public school women they kill you its like believing negro works only can learn to read....

So that makes it even harder to give farm fresh food to schools because they are cops property and

Then they get blamed for murders that tried to help them

Anyway I will have to leave San Diego or I would get a severe malignant cancer if I tried to do what I see other women do here....

I am from a really boring town that people protect you from ever touching nogales es things here people just live a good life so it's a lot more violent because they don't incarcerate the way my small boring nothing town will

If i acted the way people do around here I would go to jail for at least a year a woman in McKinney Texas told me the crazy open drug life she lived as common law and never thought a day it was okay to have to go to jail so I think it's that most of these men have no severe repercussion for anything they do....

Like that Roman Catholic guy told me for dealing marijuana that he just had to get tickets if I ever sat around giving people a smoke I would get like a full lamb battery like pulling me around by the neck chained up and microwaved in a cell so I don't know what these people do to think they aren't going to get it ...

Anyway all this business talk these people keep calling me a racist and I am not I have decided a racist....if you must know communal process is more important....

At first I was like be a picker sell your charms and wishes for better fortuity at the road side but now I have decided I am not a racist I'm not going to

Reading comprehension I suspect women that battered do kind of only understand rank obeisance otherwise I don't think they do read too well....they probably do get disorganized symptoms and are encouraged to get aggressive about them before people help them with their learning disability

That and it's difficult to help California women they get very extreme political views like MLK jr. Knows to prosecute about some type of white klan leader

Like Michelle sleeps with all of camp and tells you marriage is the worst thing for women ever.....it's more likely here for community to not comprehend and avoid helping or feel defensive and I think if those men were rude to me till I started getting eating disorder psychology I think they did hit her or I don't know

I would get terrified around californias of eating.....and now it's that I'm just an adult and I don't care...I know enough about life to know that people don't get away with that....

I notice about compass that their obsessed with multiple personality studies....because this place triggers people kind of non stop till I just kind of forgave that white haired lady because I don't think she is a terrorist anymore I think she gets multiple personality disorder

I think she does have a protective personality and she does get really triggered till she Sybil's at people

If there are a lot less males she doesn't get so scary anymore....

A lot of the men move really quickly or expect a lot of fast paced interaction and intense discipline and only the strong can be forgiving

The medical women at compass are neo Nazis....Ilse Koch inspired so I want the men around people have to learn cause and effect or I would have to have dumb bitch beat me up or worse

They tried to get into medeval text manuals about nuns and heresy and practice some pretty mean stuff on people so they have to learn that they are what attracts those men not homeless.....

Its the accupuncturist that got into putting like six needles into her ear so it's the staff that attracts those types of men people like me are boring

Judy tried to blame me for them and it's Judy that acts like a quarter back in space and attracts litigation and harm to herself I weigh my life down so I don't get too quick and dumb of hyper activity

Thats why i trail not dance or I would start getting phrenetic.....

I think about if I did something provocative enough to get hit....and I think I have learned from past battery and have been pretty careful.......so those men tell people their criminal problems cannot do more then dog training if people approach them that way they lash out and the staff keeps doing it to them......

Anyway...........i apparently have started to complete my hours at compass because I have reached the point.....where I get to sympathy car and driver......for doing that loud scary obnoxious stuff.....

Because I get to leave without being angry hopi prophecy

I told him mt soledad would put him in a virtual cage and asked him who the famous white man is they follow...the srimad bhagavatam writes about an other a destroyer that isnt krsna consciousness

They appear to be claiming a hells angel did it I wasn't so sure a white person would do that

Its a little to ambitious for a white person to do and appeared emigrational but they told me to not be surprised....

0 notes

renatedagmarmilada · 1 year

Text

women

Nerves of the Womb Activated

irritants used remote

today is the twenty third of March

my eldest son has his fortieth birthday in a day

Last night I was raped for ten hours

None stop it went on all night

It’s called an unorthodox experiment

They pay young men to come to the lab

And rape my old womb of over half a century

I have been raped by seventy five such men

They discovered it during the birthing process

They irritate the womb by laser

Another form of concrete in the womb

And I can’t help wondering

How many poor mentally deranged girls

Had to have abortions

After they too had this treatment

Which they wouldn’t understand at all..

This womb which carried five children

Which knew over twenty years of happiness

Children playing, family praying together

Was disrupted and destroyed for a mad scientist

Who had new ideas which are totally outdated

Conrete in the womb ideas, going on for a long time now

Oddly the woman boss of Research used to thieve herself

We women dare not speak of these male horrors

We in particular thought it was left behind

The Red Army did this everywhere

But it was better to forget

Not to remember the girls on the streets of Bratislava

Kalashnikovs pointed at the people

The mother couldn’t stop talking of it for over ten years

We became silent here and then I read a book

It is called African Women’s Poetry

In this book I found that Africa is the same as here

All I am suffering they too suffer but not the same

From post blocking to rape no difference

Except that African women describe these acts

Which we find difficult to describe even in parts

So I have decided it is time to write about the truth

After twenty years of this horror treatment and rape

It is while we women cover it all up it goes on and on

They use no name only a case number so no one can find out

Atrocities on a case number disregard any pain they are told

Last night my womb was raped for ten hours

There is no point in telling of the pain and agony

And only my youngest son hears me sobbing

And maybe the neighbours through the wall when I scream..

By a wordless faceless rogue lab hidden by the Health Ministry

How many women too weak to survive have died

Sleep deprivation the lot and there isn’t a thing we can do about it

And this is the twentieth year and they have destroyed twenty families

And South Africa is not much different to Blighty……

And tomorrow it will be the same again..

was Sharon excessed? The Chaos theory in action all on the major computer anyone with the cancer gene from President to street cleaner Get it.. the French guy and a whole list of others the newest controllers of the world from highest to lowest nearly.. sounds too weird to be true that's how they get away with it and all those at the top know it and say nothing plenty know.. just look into history it was inconceivable that civilised people they wouldn't do that they did and it was too late unbelievable.. so all of you who have been excessed I am one of them I know what they can do I and others know who you are some of you does Sharon join your ranks? the new world power....

No Sides Of ten million german jewish citizens forty six thousand and a half fell for their Kaiser. If only they had helped us to fight Hitler

Make Love Not War The Sergeant took welcomed often food.. to the ladies guns shoot Life is only once life has no value life wasted life lived guns shoot Violence is physical Physical nerve nerves in adrenalin sex is physical sex and violence guns shoot mazbe death comes here in the terrible Soviet unwished killing joy not death guns shoot the three in bed the Russian lines push the three in bed past deaf and dumb to all suns shoot the Sergeant realised too late behind the Russian lines the three in bed joy bots out all guns shoot mother and daughter Sergeant as sister smiling lovely dames at their games guns shoot three laughing gaily walking through the Russian lines one german Sergeant safe and sound lived one more day guns shoot Love not War!

Siberian Gulag Kolhosp for everyone accountant refuses to cook the books honest. uncommunist activity boss imprisoned wrongly escape a white blanket of snow home frozen to the waist childless becomes writer homesick....

which enemy? No one protects the population not even the lawyers Nor does the population believe in God! The Rotten Apple they say! a guilty research lab operating in the Capital oversteps the mark they broke international law they had been breaking internal law don't interfere, our citizens they told the Queen they told the Prime Minister they told the Health Minister Please good sirs, let US fix it we will fix it we will fix them use the family onto death use them for every illegal crime use them for every unworkable programme he who dares win they crow war against the helpless solid citizen Britain will Benefit...?

Experimental Will I go down for this one? Yes, totally illegal... Better make it count then.

Carte Blanche for Research All atrocities and crimes will be sorted out by us, loopholes blocked Victims, who helped us to rebuild, Human Rights will be blocked No money for Compensation only for Benefits, normal advancement blocked

CHristopher Robin the Oxford Grad. C.R. the oxford grad went up to Oxford to see his Prof. I've written a couple of books now Sir guaranteed sales from the research lab a case of hots by the old lady boss wanted to make a toy boy of me her ardour was wasted as me she never tasted (I did learn something at Oxford it seems) though dozens of others she'd pasted this work comes from a new type of machine a secret to the nation who are on it being done work done by our mental retard study case (that's me, elderly teacher) at inferior Uni's and Poly's like Sheffield Uni and Uni of the East End and yes, we must have been mental to stay here! She whizzed it through her high power science computer packaged it ready for sales and sold as me so Sir, now I am one of her fifty or so products a product of everyones' taxes donated by their Ministry! so trawling for fellas by this randy dame has made an author of others and me!

copywrite and copyright! When is a jewish junior Minister not really a jewish junior Minister? when he takes another history! That looks good he sighed checking all I wrote at University Degrees I want to write too.. as processing illegally had results. They keep us on the lab screen prisoners on their lab computer only east european dirt they called us.. to Mr Kissinger and Mr Kasper. please give us money. Instead of the middle eastern deserts come to sell and tell in the East my people can have their histories set into the lush lands of Europe and Siberia just change hers into poor cobblers.. so here I want to put the record straight Catharina Bertodi (I still have her certs) people came with the entourage of the Queen of Genoa when she wed King Philip of Hungary Housekeeper at the big house in Royal Hungary Head Cook, good food and silver provided.. wed at thirty-one the twenty year old Fekete (I still have the certs) nineteen healthy children and worked ALL EDUCATED with Professions to follow and the station Master Fekete (they came from the Urals and Irkutzk fourteenth century) still tended his station at eighty eight Their son Josef, my heroic grandad who helped his jewish friends to stay alive under the noses of the Nazis married an austrian farmer's daughter, wealthy Uncle the Priest, younger son, cared constantly and all the aunts floated down the Danube regularly had ten children, some alive ALL EDUCATED at expensive private Ursuline Convent in the new country of Masaryk who promised all nations, religions and cultures were to live equally, and did until the next leader came along! Then under communism, we lost all our businesses. 'fraid we are capitalists to the bone. Junior Health Minister, please don't bullshit! On the bus to Barnsley College where I taught Asylum seekers, new citizens as Jasper used remote to powder the bone in my arm pain like that you can't imagine and I've had five children, big ones microsound declared The poor jews have no backgrounds their reason for taking that of others! Chagall too copied the traditional Ukrainian work Bullshit! if you lived you had a history... and I for one am proud of mine, the good, the bad and the evil (yes, grandfather had a mistress and two more kids) but maybe that is the Hun fault we actually love ourselves the good, the bad and the evil and don't want to be anybody else.. all to cover the Research lab copying all my work written and painted as their own.. packaged for them with guarantees by the lab and its Ministry Good use for tax money, what? the jewish wives and families of the quacks! come on fellas, get straightened out with all your power. Junior Health Minister, get some brains will you!

Please could you tell me why? Painting the sun rhyming the moon describing the stars I teach young and old but you've reduced me to open complaint why do you hate me so? Promised equal citizenship we came with admiration for you as a child I modelled myself on you Stateless, I wanted to be like you with no one else to copy why do you hate me so? Solid hard working citizens here artisans in our home countries not aggressive in any way generous, don't cheat, firm and fair we don't even look very different to you why do you hate me so? Why do I ask? this is pertinent the world is filled with prejudices scaled large or small, local or global after so many decades here it amounts to the same for me we love, you hate! over half a century here.

Prostituting truth woe is me they do not like my words of truth 'I don't like the way she writes' she writes the truth but surely there is room for imagery, metaphors and truth all I can do is leave these shores there they listen to the truth! is that why the sun set upon the empire? dreams, lacking truth.

THE QUEEN'S PARDON The Queen gave Queen's pardon to the whole bunch of knaves. Lied to by Ministers alike I descendant from Turin of the entourage of Q. Elizabeth of Genoa Upon her marriage to K. Philip of Hungary feel this in my very bones. Then TWICE she ordered them to stop. Too late the hounds having smelt blood take no more orders!

The King of France and other famous people Francoise had always said Kings are made by people to care for the welfare of people and for this are given gold artists are made by God to delight the people and for this are given only critiscsm but he did not know about research which kills artists and makes its own in its own mould using all for itself but that is bad science more deadly than bad art but more effective than bad kings! whilst Mr Christian Barnard heard the inadmissable machine at St Barths enlarged now the hearts microsounding that is what we have done please be aware they cheat and guess who is on it now who will die next doctors can't treat because they don't know how this works and don't believe it does work we also took your father's heart same reason the circle it is just an idea all things have to work in circles all to the lab must create endless circles Barnard's hospital picked up our beam to the big apple we want disablement please obey to fight for life destroy all help and tie what will be the result? Circles required for passes for students. they're using the programme over and over all you are hearing is the replay constant in the trial WE provide the 'facts' if it is written humanity thinks it reads facts yet will not listen to words so write your complaints! each boy coming into the lab squeezes her heart even as victim stands teaching and arms, to powder the bone and..and. One black boy watching his screen asked why, no one drinks in their family what am I supposed to use no one does the other either so you lie with all your facts we'll let all the Africans to the lab then we can use them for the experiments each student's country is then used at our finger tips for ever there on a machine permanently won't come so give them incentives now at last - another russian and fetch the Slovaks the circle for Maxwell (and her and family) and you wont get anywhere in China we will see to that you can work there Hong Kong still does our bidding paid well, however crooked! they keep that probe thumping banging her head all night give no rights and thyroid laser and the rest not even simpletons deserve that so that's what happens to simpletons never mind a perfectly honest teacher is it because she stayed calm a student asks. had they got her into a mental home she would never have got out so now they have to use remote laser for the future Empire invisibly held Mrs stani working for the lab says I've done my bit of bashing (we break legs and arms regularly on the machine) from me, limp from now on lass so now I want my reward the Slovaks will only come for a while, they soon get the point I wanted to see how long she'd last the english girl, Lynne who thought of brain crushing three germans thought of vein clots with other horrors but they always do do they have to be so damned efficient even when killing and maiming but the girls and Stanis are the worst they arn't experimenting they just don't click on quickly enough Which bosses are in the lab who will bite ALL your work as a book to write so her opinions are on our file we try them all out on you however trite A programme which flashes round the world constantly on, day and night its ok you don't have to use it on your nationals just ours..sacrificing brits for this Now give her the heart of a fat woman now stop her menstruating counting chromosomes just as in Hitler's time bleating 'they see to it we rise our reward for using the illegal programme all we have to do is keep repeating and knocking harder and harder use that in Mental Homes keep on and on repeating and repeating' and I have ninety grand debts no choices.' Reuter picked up the beams bounce and the banks allow us to rob her accounts just the government playing as they have nothing but their praying still being covered by copyists press her heart now and then as different tormentors are paid to come to torment different people and create unneeded operations. Good God they came to the West for safety! one gave ten year old Faysal an aneurysm in this 'what if' game they play say nothing and hope for the best not having been used for physical torture by laser only mental by remote don't even know now it's all turned physical and nasty mother had bashed ribs and cracked spine from their work at nearly ninety Mucky Klaus the German that was, laser pressure too heavy but she's so old hope for the best father manslaughtered only messing they smile but now I remember the good Pastor they came for them all and I said nothing then they came for me and I had been a coward and said nothing and no one could say for me so start saying but no one believes just as then. squeezing my skull and brain the girl decided would hasten my death a bash at a kidney there, a chest there how long can anyone last? after the war they did that to german farmers formed a circle round them and kicked and kicked then they called it revenge what is it now, research researching what. Boss said the chest was because the coal miners had had to lug waggons, women too so they died of exhaustion heaviest possible pressure on her chest now please. So we came to Britain for this? the girl watching on the screen Lorraine and the rest at the hospital put the machine full on has been pressing head and heart since and now I understand why I should have said earlier! we had truely believed in this country, we really did and still can't believe this is here panic stations a lab out of control but keep it silently, silently but silently even at Mass totally surrounded microsound breaks up sound as it travels to that on the machine the worst prison ever known Prayer too debased and has to be distorted prayer gives comfort so they change one word here and there to turn prayer to insult adding all the psychi-nonsense of evil since nineteen ninety one till it becomes unbearable to go then they've won using this microsound they say 'we don't need or believe and seriously they call themselves GOD so it is your hard luck' Meddle-son New Year Day someone important came into the lab today microsound whispered remember I am supposed to know they tell them at the top we are part of it calms their guilt and tell their own from overseas we are volunteers most of it is unrepeatable he was shown Lindsey's film and told it was me and read their file Lindsey is a second rate porn movie starlet Sydney at the BBC must have found (there is a tiny dark studio at the back of the BBC) who follows instructions and the file is them 'deselect girl' has been busy too friends for Christmas and New Year changing spellings so nothing makes sense wiping out letters and messages just as they confiscated parcels to the grand kids and post taken, all signed that they can take somewhere, somehow.. just as Hitler had done, all legally same group as the medical experiments in the camps adds britain is murderous but only to its friends (we helped to rebuild this island) comeback for a refresher in torture all are asked we'll pay and say you are the best and create more circles within circles. health no longer stable hard luck a teacher harassing last night was one of the worst its Mogli (they give each other names) the Indian was allowed the run of the lab started his own experiments didn't you stop? interested in what he did in his own torturous way we told them you had lost all feelings so intensity has to go way up the laser only follows commands most easy to lie as you never complain trying to get a reaction night after night as higher up personages die, you're still lucky. night time will make it seem a nightmare unreality added yours was a very happy marriage we shouldn't have broken up we checked and no one has literally ever been tortured so badly here not since medieval days so no one will believe as laser doesn't leave a single mark or bruise and there is no replacement therapy for brain so squeeze to dull your thoughts turn you into a vegetable we'll all be safe by the time you are released but today it was all day too for Meddle-son's delight no doubt we don't let them see the real you only we watch day and night. DOn't let that Austrian student in the back he'll guess what's going on taking out hair remote, freezing people in their homes giving pain without a care and that is all we need for him to become aware we pay them so we play our game the second day of the year keep the patter going it sends them mad on the computer on airwaves tried out already in America banned, shelved and filed doesn't work and without the constant torture called a probing in genteel english manner did she actually do these things the new lab participant asks oh, not really a simpleton do tell the Queen we don't need her permission any more Hitler did all that too his evil took over research 'it can't happen here so we showed it could' and they wouldn't even see that is how the prison is 'we made every crime happen' put the books with the Egyptian's presents it will be under his nose but he is too busy being english to see like us, he can't believe this could happen here you go ma'am, leave I am no expert but this is the vilest of crimes said he.. Young man we had this only sixty years agoexactly this..we want the Mafia cleaning out for Beslam now our prize..each internal crisis is paid for. we will do the impossible research has laid siege to the world- again but heavens why pinch paintings and poetry for their staff to print have they NO ideas of their own at all.

BRUSSELS and HUMAN RESEARCH does Brussels know what you are doing though they gave their tax money we are a law onto ourselves and follow no laws but ours which is exactly what they said at Camp five Auschwitz answered St Barthes.

0 notes

thirst4fictionalmen · 2 years

Text

Fezco x Pregnant!reader drabble [1]

“Yo, you good in there?”

No. No, you’re not good. But you did not say that because Ash is right behind Fez for who’s the biggest mother hen. You say one thing that’s a bit worrying, and he’ll already be hounding you and texting Fez at the same time.

You wouldn't put it past him that he already texted Fez about you secretly having a breakdown in the bathroom.

“Can I take a shit in peace, please?” you tried to sound snarky, hoping it’ll work. The quicker he leaves the quicker you can process this.

Must have not been believable enough because Ash went silent for a moment and is still at the door judging from the shadow you see.

“Is it your stomach again?” Ash doesn’t even try to hide his concern. Fuck, you love this kid so much, but you really need left alone to cry. It was hard enough that you can’t keep down your favorite takeout from the Japanese place you love, but it’s all because you’re pregnant. You didn’t want to buy the test because if you do, then it’s making it more real. You didn’t bother telling Ash or Fez because if the test is negative, then all three of you guys worried for nothing.

But now this is something to worry about.

“Yes,” you lied. “So please go?”

“Fine, fuck me for giving a shit,” Ash replied angrily as he walked away.

You wrapped your arms around your legs and tried to regulate your breathing. The last problem you need is having a panic attack on the bathroom floor. Luckily, Ash checked on you at the tail end of your silent sobbing.

Being pregnant was not particularly bad news.

It was too soon for you both. Your boyfriend already has too much to deal with. Taking care of his gram, the store, and temperamental Ash who recently committed murder some days ago. Fez never wanted you involved in that part of his life.

Kids were supposed to come later when you life is more stable. Not when you’re only a freshman at the local community college working part time in the library. That’s why your fucking birth control is supposed to do its damn job. Yeah, it’s 99.99 percent effective, but you didn’t think you would be that 00.001 percent. The rare times Fez doesn't wear a condom and that's when your birth control took break.

You stared at the test for the fourth time.

Who were you kidding? You already knew that it was set in stone as you walked into Rite Aid. The symptoms were smacking you in the face. You chalked up missing your period because your birth control finally stopped you from having them. But then you gained more weight, which you also chalked down to birth control side effects. And then your appetite was affected and when you threw up every time you got a whiff of something or a bite of hibachi, you knew the answers.

“Maybe I should have waited,” you muttered. Maybe having Fez with you through this would have made things better. The news would have made you want to curl up and cry but at least your teddy bear of a boyfriend would be there for comfort. He would kiss your forehead and wrap you in a nice warm hug. That’s one of the reasons why you love him. He’s so grounding and comforting.

Not ready to leave your solace, you climbed into the bathtub--not without grabbing a towel for cover--and laid down. Your mind ran a mile a minute of options and plans. Thinking of how this could affect your education. It shouldn't just make it more difficult. You’re still on your mother’s insurance luckily so that’s covered.

A sudden knock startled you from your thoughts.

“Ma, can you open up?” Shit. You were not ready for this yet. “Ash told me your stomach actin’ up. Got you sum Pepto, too.”

My sweet boyfriend and little baby in law, you teared up. As long as you got your family to support you then maybe things will be okay.

Luckily, your tears dried already, so you gave yourself a good stretch after stepping out the tub and opened the door.

His expression quickly changed from worried to shocked to worried again.

“Do we need to go to the hospital?” he asked, probably still thinking you had stomach issues. You shook your head. You stared into his blue eyes that had you wondering if your future child will inherit those. Will they inherit his freckles you liked to kiss every day, or maybe his red hair? Or they would be a perfect mixture of you both?

Not giving him a warning, you threw yourself onto him. Your arms wrapped around his warm body and rested your head on his chest.

“I love you so much,” you told him.

“Ma, you’re really scaring the fuck out of me,” he muttered. His hand rubbing your back as he kissed the top of your head.

“So I found out why I’ve been feeling sick lately,” you mumbled into his chest. Before he could question you, you blurted out, “How you feel about being a father?”

Welp, that’s one way to break the news. Better to get this over with by ripping the band aid off.

You felt him tense. You showed him the pregnancy test that you held like a lifeline for the past hour.

“What the fuck?” Ash swore.

So me being nervous again: what do yall think???

So I'm thinking of making this a short mini series. Like maybe two or three more parts.

I can't think of a good title so i went basic

#fezco fanfic #fezco x reader #fezco x y/n #pregnant reader #drabble

180 notes · View notes

mercy-burning · 3 years

Text

Your Favorite — Part 2

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: Y/N and Spencer decide to keep seeing each other in secret. Category: SMUT (18+) Content: Adults w/ age gap, cockwarming, heavy petting, penetrative/unprotected sex, breeding kink, oral sex (both receiving), degradation, exhibitionism, fingering, cum play maybe? Word Count: 7.5k

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | MASTERLIST

NOTE: This is... *nervous laugh* this is pure filth. Like... It’s nothing but sex scenes, y’all. Buckle in. (Also the end is a lil angsty so watch out hehehe)

———

JULY 8th

"You're sure you guys are okay without me for a little while?"

I love my mom. Really, I do.

But if she delays her bath for any longer than one more second, I'm going to burst into flames.

Thankfully it seems that Spencer is patient enough for the both of us. "Positive. You deserve to relax a little. Go. Take your bath, we'll be fine."

Mom looks to me for extra reassurance, and I give it to her with a nod.

"Okay. I'll try not to be too long."

She turns and kisses Spencer, long and lovesick, and I want to barf. What's even worse is that when she pulls away and pats my head before retreating up the stairs, he's smiling. And he's supposed to, I know that. Part of him obviously cares about my mom, and even if he's only fucking me on the side, the fact remains that he goes to sleep next to her. That's the way it has to be.

But it still makes me incredibly envious.

It's a problem.

Mom is upstairs now, but our rule is that unless we know for certain that she's not coming into sight or earshot anytime soon, we remain distant.

Still, I make my distaste for their affections known. "You guys are gross..."

Spencer laughs, his hand sneaking over the couch cushion and grazing the end of my skirt. "Jealous, are we?"

Of course, I have to make it difficult for him. "You're a genius, you tell me..."

"Hey now... You're lucky I'm giving you any attention at all... Besides, you know the rules."

I glance over at him, practically crumbling apart at the seams under his intense gaze. It's one I've gotten used to as of late, one that rivals every smile I've ever seen him give my mother.

"Doesn't make it any easier," I mumble, glancing down at where his fingers are still toying with my skirt.

"I know..." He reaches out and touches my hand, and my skin tingles. "Come here."

Even though I can hear that the bath water has only just started running from below, I comply all the same. I scramble off the couch and return on his lap, straddling him and nesting my fingers through his hair while I lean in to kiss him.

He welcomes me with open arms and an open mouth. The moment our tongues brush, I sigh and melt into him, needing desperately to be as close as possible. Our kisses then are languid and wet, and soft. We don't want to get carried away in case we need to be alert and jump apart, so it's best to keep our bodies controlled.

But as I'm learning, around Spencer, controlling myself is painstakingly difficult.

A whine escapes me when his right hand slips under my skirt and rests along the inside of my thigh, and I shift, silently begging him to give me more.

"So impatient..." he mumbles over my mouth.

I pull away and slide my hands down over his neck and shoulders, my hips rolling forward as I pout. "I haven't had you all week. I'm lonely..."

It's true.

Once all my STD tests came back clean and I got my birth control figured out and solid, the first thing he did was tell my mom he wasn't feeling well and texted me the address to his apartment. And after I told her I was meeting up with a friend, I drove over there and got my brains completely fucked out. We spent all day under the sheets, on the couch, over the kitchen counter, and then on the floor, until I had to go home and pretend like it never happened.

Since then we'd only slept together once, and that was just over a week ago, quickly while Mom ran to the store for an onion of all things. And then Spencer had been busy with consulting on new cases that his old job wanted a little help with, and once he had free time, Mom insisted they go on a date weekend.

I pout harder, stomach churning at the memory of the look he gave me before they left—a silent, sweet goodbye that had left me empty and wanting.

But he's just amused.

A smirk ghosts over his lips, red and a little puffy from the pressure of my own against them. "So I definitely can't trust you to be quiet enough to fuck you properly..."

That warrants another whine and another roll of my hips, and I can feel his hand gripping my thigh a little tighter.

"Please... Spencer, I need you..."

His name rolling off my tongue must be what makes him give into me, because I barely have time to react before he's kissing me again, using both of his hands to lift the back of my skirt up and knead my ass.

"Wait... Are you wearing..."

I grin over his lips, wiggling my ass into his touch and utterly turned on by the fact that he knows what underwear I'm wearing just by touch.

"Mhmm," I answer, nipping his bottom lip. "Your favorite..."

The sound that rumbles in his chest as he crashes his body against mine has to be the sexiest thing I've ever heard. He's obviously trying not to be loud, but it's hard, and that makes the sound strained. He really wants this, wants to keep me, and to do that he has to refrain from going absolutely primal right now. He has to do anything to keep this quiet.

So he pushes me off of him, and I pout, thinking he's given up until we can get a true moment alone.

But I know that isn't the case when he spins his finger and then starts undoing his pants.

"Turn around, sweetheart," he huffs, slipping his pants and underwear down just enough that his erection emerges free. "You're gonna sit here, keep quiet, and keep my cock nice and warm, understood?"

Don't have to tell me twice... I'll fucking take what I can get.

So I spin, back up, and move all my clothing to the side, my skirt lifting as I nestle into Spencer's lap and hold my panties to the side. He laughs at my eagerness, though he isn't laughing much longer once I sink down onto him and get in real close. His hands come out to grab my chest and pull me flush against his own.

The way he stretches and fills me has my eyes rolling back, a long, happy sigh falling from my lips. I wish I could say I'm being dramatic about it, but I'm really not.

I'm genuinely relieved and satisfied with the burn.

"There's my girl," Spencer muses through a sigh of his own, his breath fanning gently over my neck right before he gives it an open-mouthed kiss.

His hands slip under the baggy sweater I'm wearing and run along the planes of my stomach, then up and up, taking the fabric with him until it rests above my bare chest. Being exposed like this, right in the middle of the living room while my mom is just upstairs, excites me more than I think it should.

While Spencer kisses and licks at my neck, his hands now gently kneading my breasts, I squirm.

He doesn't like that very much.

"Ah-ah," he warns, squeezing me tight and pulling me into him more. "Relax..."

He hooks his legs around mine then, spreading them apart and somehow filling me deeper. I whine, leaning my head back onto his shoulder and trying not to roll my hips.

Instead, I settle for clenching myself around him, and that seems to be the right move.

"Atta girl... Lay back and relax... Just feel me filling you up nice and slow..."

"Mmmm," I respond in kind as his hands loosen and glide down my body.

He's light with his touch, though the kisses on my neck feel hungry, and his cock feels heavy and thick inside me. It's a beautiful contrast, really, making me feel so full and yet so light, like I'm a raincloud.

Soon his fingers dip under my skirt and cover my hand, which is working at keeping my panties off to the side. He traces the curves of my fingers with his own, mumbling praises and scattering kisses along the side of my neck. And I'm distracted enough that I almost don't feel his other hand make gentle contact with my clit until I gasp from the sharp sensation.

I can feel his smile against my skin as he starts rubbing in slow, precise circles.

"That feel good, princess?"

"Uh huh," I breathe out, trying to keep still. My other hand digs into my knee in hopes that I can stay grounded and focused on keeping still. But despite that, I'm feeling rather calm. Satisfied...

Right where he wants me.

"Mmm..." He hums happily into my skin, continuing to kiss my neck while working my clit.

And I have no idea how long we lay there. It feels like it could be hours.

The TV is on, but we're not paying any attention to it. In the back of my mind I know that Mom could be done with her bath at any minute, but it's been too long without Spencer inside me... And even though he's not actually fucking me, just having him this close and feeling him touch me, fill me, breathe me in...

God, I never want it to stop.

I'm almost on the verge of coming, but he removes his hand from me and slides them up my stomach again.

I whine at the loss of orgasm, but he pays it no mind. "Here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna start moving..."

I start to get excited, wiggling in his lap a little.

With a dark laugh, he brings his hands to my breasts, kneading them gently and nipping my earlobe. Getting my attention...

"But you're not gonna stop until I fill that slutty little cunt with my cum, got it? I don't care if you come more than once. I don't care if you come at all... I don't care if your mom comes down here and sees..."

I swear I almost come on the spot from his words alone.

And then his voice is somehow even darker, seeping through my skin and settling into the very deepest parts of me.

"You will not stop until you make me come, am I clear?"

I wouldn't deny him if I could. I'm so damn whipped by this man, so eager to please and be near him that he could ask me to do any fucking thing on the planet and I would.

My rational brain might have second-guessed that feeling if it hadn't been horny as fuck...

And so I get to it, maneuvering my hips and working Spencer's cock like my life depends on it. And honestly, it kind of does, because if my mother comes down and catches us I'm dead.

Despite the urgency, though, I relish every second of it. I try to remember every sensation vividly because I don't know when I'll get to feel it again. So every time I sit back down on his dick, I clench it on the way up, because I know that drives him wild and it also means I get to feel him grab me tighter.

I can't see him, not even really when I turn my head, but I can picture how he's probably biting his lip, trying not to be loud. His eyes are probably shooting daggers at the ceiling, praying to the heavens above that my mom won't come down.

But it looks like the heavens above have decided to damn us to hell.

That unmistakable sound of the drain in the tub rumbles through the ceiling and down the inside of the walls as the water travels through the pipes, and my heartbeat races faster than it ever has.

Spencer tugs my hair then, pulling my head to meet his shoulder once more. "You better hurry, little girl..."

That's when I finally come. My cunt throbs and shakes around him as I bounce as quietly as I can. His grip in my hair is tighter, urging me to keep going, and the sharp sensation seems to extend my orgasm a little.

I whimper and whine as I feel it, and that seems to be what does him in.

"Fuck, Y/N, that's it... That's my girl..."

Four more bounces from me is all it takes, and then he's holding my hips in place. He grunts as quietly as possible into my shoulder and fucks into me slowly, filling me to the brim with his cum and breathing harshly into my skin.

I can hear Mom walking around upstairs, most likely getting dressed, which means she'll be down any minute...

"Time to get up, princess," Spencer whispers a moment later, letting go of my hips.

I turn my head into his neck, whining. "I don'wanna..."

"I know, I know... But you have to."

I know he's right. But I can't just get up and lose him so quickly. I want to hold on for as long as possible.

So I tilt my head up and bring his lips to mine. Thankfully he doesn't reject me, instead returning my affections and sighing into my mouth. He's still sheathed inside me, and I can feel his cum very slowly starting to drip down.

I have to get up now...

My mouth reluctantly parts from his and pouts. I expect him to return it with a sad smile, but his lips are rather mischievous.

He smirks, lifting me off of him and quickly pulling my panties back in place. His cum instantly soaks into the thin, lavender fabric, and it only reminds me of his absence.

But then Spencer spins me around on the heels of my feet and presses his hand firmly to my clothed, sopping wet cunt under my skirt, rubbing it in and making me whimper out at the overstimulation.

"I missed you," he whispers sincerely. Sweetly...

I can't help but smile as I lean down to kiss him one more time.

"I missed you, too."

JULY 23rd

I've been looking forward to this weekend since Mom brought it up after her bath—A call from work. A weekend business trip across the country.

She would be gone for almost a whole week.

Spencer's already started on his coursework for the next school year so he'll be busy most days, but at night? That's when he's all mine.

The only hard part about this, really, is containing my excitement. Just yesterday Spencer got me alone and warned me that I better keep my cool and be patient. Though, the way he said it was hardly a bad thing considering it gave me an excuse to feel his hands on me, even in the laundry room where, more or less, this had all started.

Even now I can still feel their warmth and their heft as they grope and paw at my breasts while he attacks my neck with sloppy kisses.

But right now he's not here, and as much as I can't wait to spend the week with him, my mom is also going to be gone for that long.

Just because I'm fucking her boyfriend on a regular basis doesn't mean I don't still love her.

Though, the thought of it all makes me a little uneasy—I don't know what the future holds. I know Spencer obviously cares about my mom, but if it really gets to a point where they've been together long enough, would he ever marry her?

And then what?

It's one thing for him to be my mom's boyfriend, who doesn't live here and only stays when he can... But it's a whole other one to be my stepfather. And what if my mom wants to have another kid?

No.

I'm not even going to think about it... If it ever gets to that point, then we'll deal with it, but right now I've only known Spencer for nearly 2 months, and it's way too soon to be thinking about any of that right now.

"You gonna be alright without me for a week?"

I curl into Mom's side, laughing and thankful for her distraction. "I spend almost a whole year away at college without you, I think I can survive five days."

"Ugh, don't remind me. I wish you could just stay here with me forever."

"Ha, no you don't. I'm a menace."

"Only when you eat all my food and then complain that you're starving..."

My eyes roll affectionately. "Mom. That was one time, and I was fifteen and dramatic."

She kisses the top of my head and then rests her chin on it. "Then my point stands... You were only a menace when you were fifteen. Now you're an angel."

I can tell she's sincere, and when I tell her Thank you, it feels incredibly deceitful—Especially when she starts humming my favorite song and brushing through my hair with her fingers, just like she used to do to get me to sleep as a kid. The foggy feeling it sends through my bloodstream reminds me that I'm definitely not the same person I was back then.

Although, it is true that some things never change, and within minutes I'm soundly asleep in my mother's arms.

———

When Spencer and I are sending her off at the airport the next morning, my heart thrums wildly in my chest.

"You have Spencer's number in case of an emergency?" she asks me in a haste.

"Yes, Mom. For the thousandth time, I have his number, and I have Grandma's number, and I have just about every other number you've ever given me for emergency contacts."

She gives me The Look.

"Yes, I have it. And I'll be okay. I love you."

"Oh, I love you, too," she says, pulling me in for one last breath-reducing hug, though, that's not truly what knocks the breath from my lungs.

She goes to Spencer next, reaching up to give him a goodbye kiss. I'm expecting it. I'm okay with it.

But this is unlike any other kiss I've seen them share, and it admittedly makes me jealous.

Spencer almost has her off the ground, pressing her close to him and kissing her deeply. Her hands weave through his hair as he tilts his head, and this time I can see his tongue slip into her mouth.

"O—kaaay, my eyes are burning... Thank you for that..."

I know I can get away with that because it's a completely normal reaction to seeing your mother make out with anyone, so I don't feel bad about it one bit. And I especially don't feel bad about the warning look he gives me over my mom's shoulder when she comes to give me another hug.

But then she's gone, and minutes later we're leaving the airport parking lot, and I can't seem to shake my jealousy. Even when his hand rests politely on my knee.

The whole way home I only barely acknowledge his presence, giving him half-hearted smiles and remaining mostly still when he glides his hand higher up my leg. By the time his fingers slip under the hem of my skirt, I think he knows something is up, because it stops there.

He waits until we get in the house to bring it up.

"Y/N, are you okay?"

I plop myself down on the couch with an overexaggerated sigh. "Kinda..."

I know Spencer used to be a profiler, and really, it's not that hard to figure out what's wrong with me. But it's still a little scary how easily he just knows.

"You know I had to," he says, walking over and standing in front of me. "Keeping up appearances and whatnot."

He's right. And it's a consequence of what we've decided to do, so really I'm in no place to complain.

Still, I reach out and pull him in by the belt loops, leaning my face in rather close to his crotch. "You know... Actually, I think you just like making me jealous..."

The smile that dances over his lips is amused and downright sinful. "Oh?"

"Mhmm," I drawl, sliding my hands to the front of his pants and rubbing him through the fabric.

He laughs. "Yeah, you are pretty cute when you're all huffy."

With big eyes and a fluttering in my stomach at the way he looks down at me, I feel that pressing of jealousy start to lift off my chest. I know that within an hour he'll have me pinned under his body somehow, and the thought allows my response to come out clearly and without question.

"So how are you gonna make it up to me?"

———

We're already out of our clothes by the time we make it upstairs. And when we finally get into my bedroom, I'm about to shut the door and then Spencer stops me.

"No one's home, sweetheart... Leave it open."

He takes two steps and has me in his arms, his hands sliding down my back and resting over my ass. And when he gives it a squeeze, he grins down at me. "You're gonna be loud for me, understand?"

"Hey, that's on you," I tease, wiggling against him. "You want me loud? Make me loud."

His grip on my ass gets tighter as he pulls me closer, and I yelp out. "Don't challenge me, little girl... You'll regret it."

I laugh then, calling back to his earlier statement. "Aw... You're pretty cute when you're all huffy..."

"Alright, fine."

The next thing I know, I'm on my knees, and his hands are rooting in my hair. The rough carpet underneath me already burns, but I know in the end it's gonna be so worth it.

Spencer brings me close to his exposed crotch and tilts my head up to look at him. "I'm gonna fuck that attitude right out of your pretty little mouth, got it? And you're not gonna do a damn thing but take it like a good girl."

I would have asked him if that was a threat or a promise if he hadn't immediately shoved his dick in my mouth. It has me wet in an instant, the way he just pulls me onto him and starts fucking my face with an urgency that seems to contradict all the time we have. He needs me now, with no time for teasing or pleasantries, and I fucking love it.

Which is why I do as I'm told, enjoying every second as he holds my head still and snaps his hips forward, his velvety smooth cock gliding over my tongue and down my throat with ease. It doesn't take long for my eyes to water, my vision going blurry and my body growing hot. My face is angled straight ahead, but I still find a way to look up at him, and from this low angle?

It's the best thing I've ever seen.

No matter how many times I've been on my knees like this, staring up at Spencer as he loses himself at my hands (or rather my mouth, if you want to get technical), I swear I could never tire of it.

His eyes are glaring down at me as he concentrates, his arms are out in front of me as they hold my head in place, and his pubic bone and sculpted hips are right there, moving ferociously in front of my eyes. He's so deep in my throat for a few seconds, holding me down while I gag around him, that my nose is buried in the soft trail of hair that gathers on his skin, and I want to stay there forever.

But my gag reflex isn't much durable for more than fifteen seconds, much less forever, so I have to pull back.

Spencer pulls me off of him completely, a trail of spit following my lips and then detaching until it lands along my chin. I blink away some of the tears that had gathered in my eyes and pout up at him.

"What's the matter, sweetheart?"

"You're supposed to be making it up to me..." My voice is scratchy and a little hoarse now, but I know it'll probably be worse if Spencer really thinks he can make me as loud as he says (which I truly don't doubt for a second).

He tugs me up by the hair, and I whine as I get to my feet, my knees aching already. And then his mouth is on my cheek, gently kissing away a tear. "Aw, I thought you liked having my dick in your mouth..."

"I do..."I giggled a little, nestling into his body and feeling his erection, now slick with my saliva, press up against the inside of my thigh. "But I like it better in other places..."

"Mmm, you're right... I do, too..."

I certainly hadn't been expecting that answer.

But it doesn't surprise me when he walks us over to the foot of my bed and pushes me onto it. "Hands and knees, princess."

My knees still burn from the carpet, and I'm sure this squeaky-ass mattress won't alleviate the pain at all, but if there's one thing I've learned since having sex with Spencer it's that pain is all part of the pleasure.

So I don't question it. My limbs submit to his simple command, and once I turn away from him and perch myself on my hands and knees, I can feel him climbing on the bed and crawling up the backside of my body. His hands roam my ass and my waist, and within seconds he has his cock nestled against me.

He moves nice and slow at first, dragging the length of him through my slick cunt and ghosting the skin of my backside with his hands.

"Remember... Nice and loud, okay? Wanna hear how good I make you feel."

Like I could ever deny him. Even though I like to tease him and push his buttons, I couldn't think of a single thing in the moment that I'd ever deny him.

So he finally pushes into me, stretching me out well and good, and a low groan slowly rolls off my tongue like a waterfall. And I'm not doing it for his sake; It's like he draws it out of me like a syringe, and I'm utterly powerless against it... Against him.

Like I need a metaphor to explain how I'm well and truly his bitch...

"There she is..." Spencer breathes, reaching the very deepest part of me and staying there. "There's my obedient little girl... Tell me what you want."

I turn my head to get as good of a look at him as I can, and give him the pout to end all pouts. "I want you to fuck me, hard... Please?"

His answer is a gentle push forward, his body leaning over mine to take my hands and pin them behind my back, which pulls me up towards him so that my back is nearly flush with his chest. His hands are so big that one of them is able to hold both of my wrists while the other gathers my hair and tugs.

I feel like I'm being held by a bungee cord, especially when Spencer starts snapping his hips and pounding into me roughly. My knees are pushing into the springs of the mattress and lifting again with each thrust, and I can't help the stream of whimpers and shouts that escape me at the whole experience.

He lets go of my hair in favor of reaching around and palming my left tit, his pace never faltering for a second. Everything he's doing is precise and swift and so fucking good that my eyes can hardly stay open.

"I'm hearing you, pretty girl, but I don't think you're quite loud enough..." he grumbles in my ear, letting go of me and gently pushing me back down on the bed. He slips out of me and I whine at the loss, but I don't have to worry about it much longer when I feel him lay down over top of me and slam into me hard.

I yelp out, my hands reaching out and clutching the comforter for dear life. Spencer's hands, meanwhile, push up off the mattress on either side of my hips to lift himself up, and then he's grabbing my waist and pushing me into it while he fucks me.

When I instinctively shove my face down and try to muffle myself, though, one of his hands leaves my waist and comes up to tug my hair, pulling my head up. His hips pause, pressed deep into my backside, and I can feel how he's struggling to keep still.

"Uh-uh... No one's home, princess... Let it all out..."

He pulls back and plows into me again, and this time his pace is frustratingly slow. With each slam forward my voice grows louder, begging him for more with incoherence until I start to feel myself grow tense with pleasure.

"You're almost there, baby, I can feel it," Spencer breathes. His voice is far away, and I wish he was closer, his breath on my neck and his lips not far behind. But for now I gladly settle for his hands, tight and bruising on my hips, and the force of his pelvis as it collides brutally and wonderfully with my ass.

What finally brings me sweet release is the sound of him grunting out one word. A command. And once again it's like I'm powerless under his spell.

"Come."

I do, and he fucks me thoroughly through each wave. Even once I've finished, he chases his own orgasm for minutes.

By the sounds he's making and the way his hips falter here and there, I can tell he's close, but he wants to make it last. I want to tell him that we have all weekend, to maybe tease him a bit, but I'm so fucked out and incoherent that I couldn't have said a single word if I tried.

So I lay there and take it with a weary smile on my face, ever the whiny, whimpering mess that I am, and patiently wait for the moment he decides to let go.

And when he does, it's the most glorious feeling in the world. I'm tired, yes, but never tired enough to lift myself and wiggle my ass back into him, clenching myself around him and relishing in the way he grunts out my name. He empties himself into me, and I hum, positively satisfied and warm.

Before I know it, I'm sinking down within the comfort of my blankets, and I rest my head in my arms, the pillow still a little too far out of reach. And though I'm content, I still whine out sadly when Spencer retreats and leaves me feeling empty.

I'm about to tell him to get over here and cuddle me when I feel his weight redistribute, and it isn't long before he has his head between my legs, his tongue acting as a net for the cum that drips out of me. He barely touches me, only the tiniest of flicks with the tip of his tongue darting over my skin. I can't tell if I'm thankful because of the relief or if I want the burn to go on forever.

In the end, I don't really have a choice.

He pushes his tongue up, sweeping over my dripping cunt and cleaning me up. Suddenly his mouth is everywhere, making the most delicious sounds and bringing me closer to another orgasm, and all I can do is let it happen. My weary smile is joined by a fluttering pair of eyelids and a string of whimpers that are so small they don't dare drown out the words Spencer is grumbling between my legs.

Some of which, I can hear, sound out, "Another one..."

His finger adds to the mix, coming up and rubbing my clit in tight circles as he finishes cleaning up the mess he made, and within seconds I'm a writhing mess at his undoing.

I'm not sure how long it lasts, only that one second I'm tensing with another orgasm and the next I'm having my limbs moved.

Spencer is beside me in an instant, his face coming into view as I feel my breathing slow to a steadier pace. The longer I wait, the more focused I am on his features, soft and even a little concerned as he strokes some of the hair from my face.

"How are you feeling?"

The smile that beams across my face is just about the most natural thing I'd ever felt. And it seems to bring out those bright glints of adoration in his eyes that only ever serve to make my heart flutter, which makes what I tell him even more true.

"I'm happy."

JULY 27th

Waking up to Spencer next to me, while a daily occurrence these past few days, is still possibly the most surprising and comforting feeling in the world.

Our bodies never part. From the moment we lay down to sleep until the moment we wake up and decide it's time to start doing necessary daily things, not one inch of skin is untouched. Even when showering.

I think back to yesterday morning, where he dragged me out of bed because he had to pee and didn't want to leave me. I was slumped over the backside of his body while he went and then in his arms again while he ran us a shower to wake up.

It brings the widest smile to my face, however sleepy it may also be.

"What are you smiling for?"

I squint one eye open and see that Spencer is staring at me. I hadn't expected him to be awake.

"Just thinking about yesterday..."

He tightens his grip on my waist and pulls me even closer, my face instantly drawn to the crook of his neck. "Mmm," he hums as I nestle in and press a sleepy kiss to the bare skin at the column of his throat. "Which part?"

"Our shower."

I feel his thumb then, rubbing back and forth over my hip as clearly as I can feel him smile against the top of my head. "That was fun, wasn't it..."

"Mhmm," I agree. My lightly tongue traces over his collarbone before I kiss it again. "Our shower is much better equipped for sex than yours."

"So... What you're saying is that shower sex is out of the question this morning?" he confirms with a laugh.

"That's exactly what I'm saying..."

"Well then, princess, what uhh... What alternatives do you think we should try out?"

I start to laugh when he pulls my leg up over his waist and hoists me over on top of him. My face remains buried into his neck, though I trail my lips up and up until I reach his jaw.

"Hmm... What if I just ride you and see where it takes us?"

When my lips finally reach his cheek, Spencer shifts and captures them in a long, butterfly-inducing kiss before pulling away with a smile and brushing the hair from my face. "I think that sounds like a wonderful idea."

It helps that I can already feel him hardening beneath me, and from the moment I felt his hands on me, I'd been aroused.

Though, as soon as I line him up and get ready to start our morning the right way, his phone rings on the bedside table. I'm tempted to keep going, but he half pushes me off of him when he reaches and reads the name.

"It's your mom."

That instantly kills my mood.

With a dramatic sigh and a pout, I hop off of him and curl up under the covers, letting him answer.

"Good morning," he chirps rather happily, and I try not to imagine my moms smile on the other end of the line. Thankfully I can't hear her, but I can still see Spencer smiling as he greets her and goes through all the pleasantries that come with a long distance relationship; I miss yous and how are yous...

I wonder if he really does miss her. He must, at least a little, right?

I'm staring straight ahead now, picking at my nails while I wait for them to finish talking, but something feels off.

I can feel Spencer's eyes on me.

But then he asks, "What are you wearing?" through the phone with a voice so playful and seductive, and I snap my head around, glaring at him.

"Really?" I mouth.

The smirk on his face makes me want to chuck his phone across the room.

"Mmm," he hums, looking me dead in the eye. And the next time he speaks, I swear he's talking directly to me. "Why don't you take it off... I want to talk you through some things..."

I know my mom is hearing the roughness in his voice through the phone, but right now I can see his eyes, hungry as they rake over my body once I slowly peel the blanket away and reveal myself to him, and I know that his main goal isn't to get my mom off.

It's to finish what we started before she'd interrupted.

"Touch yourself for me, baby? Nice and slow. Just relax..."

He softly crawls over to me, keeping the phone to his ear with one hand while the other takes my knees and spreads them apart.

I start to touch myself as instructed, but he swats my hand away and winks, nestling between my legs. I lean up on my elbows and tilt my head, wondering where he's going with this, when he leans his other cheek into my thigh.

"You know what I'd do to you right now If I was there?" A small pause. And then, "I'd use my fingers to slowly stretch you open... Feel you contract around me..."

His fingers do exactly like he says, and I have to stop myself from making any sound. The evil grin growing on his face as he does it all makes it even harder.

"I'd finger-fuck you nice and slow," he continues in a voice just above a whisper. "Until you're begging me for more."

When his eyes meet mine, once more I want to lean forward, snatch his phone, and smash it on the floor. I want him to utterly devour me, without any interruptions or avoidances at getting caught.

But he's such a fucking tease.

Mom must be talking on the other end, because Spencer is silent, slowly fucking me with his fingers and watching them intently as they disappear inside me. Entranced... The thought of her speaking to him and holding his attention makes me jealous— Sure, he's fucking me right now, but really, she's the one calling the shots.

I lean my head back in frustration, letting out the tiniest of whines and grinding my hips up into his hand, hoping and pleading for more.

A low laugh leaves him. "Please, what?"

It's not lost on me that my mom must have asked for more from him at the same time I did... It cements just how absolutely fucked this whole situation is, and yet I can't help but clench around his fingers in earnest, silently pleading with him to go on.

He removes his fingers from me and I sigh out, trying not to disrupt their call.

"And... How would you like me to fuck you?" he asks, looking at me with an evil grin and knowing damn well I can't actually answer.

After he gets her answer, he climbs up on his knees and spreads my legs further, throwing one of them up on his shoulder while he leaves the other on the bed. Since he only has one hand to work with, he gestures to it and I help him out, lifting my other leg up to my chest and holding it with one arm to let him get inside at a good angle.

"Yeah, and how do you want it, baby?" He lines himself up with me and very slowly sinks the head of his cock in, holding it and running his hand along my stomach. "I'm thinking... I'd like to fuck you so slow you're practically writhing beneath me..."

I stick my tongue out at him, and then without warning he slams into me. I bring a hand to my mouth and bite down on my finger, trying not to make a sound.

"You're gonna be patient... And you're gonna let me take my time... Until you're nice and desperate... Whining out for me like a good little whore..."

Each sentence is punctuated with another thrust, hard and deep, followed by a short pause, and it's all I can do not to cry out his name and beg him to go faster.

Mom must be talking on the line again, because Spencer doesn't say a word as he fucks me. His pace doesn't pick up or slow, and his own self control starts to recede—I can see it in his features. I can also feel it in the way his free hand grips my leg. He wants to go faster, he wants to lose control, and this is killing him just as much as it's killing me.

But then he pants into the phone, his voice breaking a little as he pauses and rolls his hips into me, slow and burning. I whine into my hand as quietly as possible, and he asks the question that will seal my fate.

"Where do you want it?"

I wait, clenching around him and praying for the result I want.

And then he laughs. "Yeah? You like when I paint you with my cum, huh?"

I shake my head, silently begging him to resist and stay inside me, but he only shrugs as if to say, Sorry about your luck, and then pulls out, leaving me whiny and desperate.

Just like he said.

And then, he comes all over me, stroking himself fast and hard. Even though I've still yet to feel any sort of relief, seeing him in front of me like this, feeling his warmth dance across my skin in warm spurts, and hearing him groan out as he watches my body gladly accept it all...

It's quite honestly the most satisfying thing I've ever seen.

I can't say I'm not happy, though, when he slumps down and pants, sighing out a few goodbyes to my mom and then tossing his phone on the floor when she hangs up.

He smiles at me then, and I pout.

"You're evil..."

"Mmm, you love it," he drawls, leaning down and starting to dart his tongue over the mess he made on my stomach. Meanwhile his finger finds its way inside me again, and I feel myself start to turn into a writhing mess once more.

And he's right.

I do love it.

JULY 29th

Approaching the front door with Mom in step behind me, knowing that Spencer awaits for her on the other side isn't what makes my heart jump out of my chest.

It's the look on both of their faces when they see each other.

Though I push Mom forward to go see him, it nearly breaks me seeing her run into his arms. He picks her up and spins her around, reminiscent of their little moment at the airport, and the pure happiness on her face specifically makes my stomach twist.

This time it isn't jealousy.

It's guilt.

She's... incredibly happy. I don't think I've ever seen her this happy before. She's positively beaming as she hugs him tight and buries her face into his chest.

And when he looks past her head and looks over at me, I feel it.

The heartache.

Spencer's eyes burn holes into my own, and fill them with a sympathy that makes me feel more wounded than comforted.

I wonder then if he can see it on my face; The way I'm trying not to break down and cry... The way I'm only holding myself together by the weak smile I'm wearing, both to assure him that I'm fine and also to feign happiness for my mother, rather than the aching envy and sadness that festers within every crevice of my soul.

I offer to grab more of Mom's things from the car and dart right back out the door to avoid them for a little while. Maybe to also get some fresh air, even though I'd just been outside less than a minute ago.

After flinging open the trunk of the car, I take a deep breath and squeeze my eyes shut, feeling my chest start to tighten at the realization that I might be starting to fall in love with him.

A man who isn't mine, and who could never be.

———

PERMANENT TAGLIST: @elldell1204 @muffin-cup @calm-and-doctor @slutforthegubes @rainsong01 @yourmisosoup @liveloudwriteloud @reidsconverse @la-vie-en-amour1 @edgycowboy666 @averyhotchner @centiaaa @lizziechaseee @coffeeandendlesswords @usuck @spenxerslut @ssacalumsg0lden @emilyprentisslittlewhore @takeyourleap-of-faith @reidyoulikeabook @spencerreid9 @b-a-utiful @jareauswifey @flipperpenguins @pansexualthing @donald4spiderman @awesomebooklover17 @shemarmooresfedora @izraahh1 @bakugouswh0r3 @singularityjc @xoxospencerreid @thatsonezesty13 @big-galaxy-chaos @youabitchhhh @spencersjello @moonlight-2-6 @starrylang @foreveryoungxx3 @spencerreidscoffeecup @morganwilliams

TAGS NOT WORKING: @ayla-1605 @mggskneescrews

If you would like to be added to or removed from the taglist, feel free to message me or leave a comment and I’ll get on it right away!

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x reader smut #spencer reid smut #spencer reid #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds smut

778 notes · View notes

sleephyjhs · 3 years

Text

When You’re Expecting (Taehyung Headcanon)

pairing: taehyung x pregnant!reader

warnings: mention of fertility & pregnancy complications

note: i’ve been craving to write a bts x pregnancy series for a while so here we go !! if there’s a specific member you’d like to see next, shoot me an ask :)

m.list

FINDING OUT

even before finding out you were pregnant, you both had so much love for your child

there was nothing either of you could have wanted more than a baby

it was always at the forefront of your mind how much you wanted a little human of your own

it was approaching a year since you began trying seriously

a few false hopes and two miscarriages later, fertility drugs were looking to improve the chances of conceiving

the raging hormones which came with the drugs were all worth the positive test

early september - sickness had hung around your throat for days

headaches lasted longer than usual, and crying at the most mundane things had become an unwelcome habit

in the bathroom cabinet, you’d collected a small stockpile of electronic and stick pregnancy tests

one of them would eventually show positive, right?

taehyung sat on the bathroom tiles with you

waiting two minutes felt closer to waiting two months

he crossed his legs, bouncing his knees impatiently

your knees came to your chin; high hopes weighed heavily on your heart

the alarm set on his phone beeped quietly

your heartbeat rose suddenly to your throat

taehyung reached out for your hand as you turned to read the results

two blue lines - as clear as day

they became less clear as your eyes coated with thick, salty tears

he began to chuckle as his happiness trickled down his cheeks

“we did it baby! we’re gonna have a baby!” he whispered, choked up by his own anticipation

no words were left swirling in your mind

your jaw hung open as though the hinges were faulty

shakily, you lifted the electronic test to triple check

pregnant.

as you crashed into taehyung’s open arms, memories of the past loomed in your mind

it was only inevitable

a positive test was a familiar joy to you both

however this familiar joy had only ever been followed by crippling devastation

as much as you tried not to think about it, you couldn’t help but retain maternal caution

however, this time also felt different

taehyung’s spirit, your spirit - it was as though fate didn’t want to disappoint you any more

someone out there decided it was finally your time to grow a mini human to bring into the world

of course, no time was wasted in contacting the maternity clinic

seeing your baby on a screen was now a top priority

just to see their little head, maybe even hear their heartbeat

just to know they were okay

just to know you were keeping them cosy and safe, that’s all you needed

taehyung couldn’t hold his excitement

from leaving the house to reaching the hospital, his toothy grin never wiped from his cheeks

he never said anything at the time since his main focus was always on comforting you

but losing his babies near enough tore him apart

even when you tried to comfort him, taehyung restricted himself just to protect your wellbeing

of course, the worse had already crossed his mind

but it wouldn’t get the better of him

it couldn’t.

you soon learned you were already 6 weeks pregnant

the midwife had to point out where your little baby was hanging out; they were such a tiny thing after all

briefly, you took the opportunity to hear their heartbeat

it was faint over the machine, but fast

there really was a life within you.

“there’s something else, if you just look over here...” the midwife prompted, turning the monitor so you could grasp a better view

taehyung leaned slightly over your chest to peer closely at the smaller monochrome screen

with the mouse, she circled a second bean shaped figure

“the fertility drugs increase the chance of twins. looks like you guys got lucky!”

twins. you were having twins.

THE PREGNANCY

like with most pregnancies, you were advised to wait until the 12 week milestone to begin announcing your impending delivery

and even though he understood the importance of patience right now, taehyung could hardly contain his excitement

it didn’t help that a little bump had already begun to grow

keeping a secret was much more difficult when the evidence was near impossible to hide

already, taehyung spent early mornings talking to his little angels

telling them stories he seemingly made up on the spot

or even borrowing some from his own childhood

“you know they can’t hear you yet? it’s about 7 weeks until they’ll be able to, honey.”

“i know, i’m just practising for when they can.”

of course, you wouldn’t admit that you did the same when you were alone

you attended more midwife appointments than other expectant mothers might

the pair of you much preferred being on the safer side

in the car, when on a quieter, less congested road, taehyung often reached over to cradle your still-growing bump with a free hand

you slotted your fingertips between his for additional sappiness

“you two have so many people waiting for you here, hmm? many people are already so in love with you both. me and mummy included.”

on a sleepless night, you’d made a small pact with tae

it was a rash decision, but sincere nonetheless

“no matter what, they are always going to know how wanted they were. always.”

taehyung hardly needed reminding of this, but it was still a weight off your shoulders

as you tried to conceive, the pregnancy diet had already been implemented into your daily routines

however now that you were carrying two precious babies, there really would be no more ‘cheat’ days for you

no more extra half cups of coffee on slower mornings

although you usually took over the role of head chef in the house, taehyung dedicated extra effort into preparing you both healthy and yummy foods

sautéd rice with green vegetables and lean meat/tofu appeared to be his go-to

but you still opted to supervise just in case

finally being able to announce your pregnancy was another heavy weight lifted from your mind

the other members were over the moon for you both

particularly when they reminded themselves of the struggles you had experienced previously

and also remembering the utter devastation of their taehyung when he had to break it to them

all of them kept their eye out for little gifts and outfits

each week, taehyung came home with a new stack of pale rompers or neutral-tones teething toys

these babies would have the best uncles; at least that much you could be certain of

announcing your pregnancy on social media was a looming task, but one he was determined to pull off perfectly

for filler content between schedules, the members had been asked to film a 5 minute vlog of their daily life

well, what a perfect opportunity!

towards the end, taehyung made sure to include some shots of your now protruding bump overlaid with some more vintage camera settings

safe to say, that day you had broken the internet

love, congratulations and blessings poured in from every corner of the earth

a few comments complimenting how much pregnancy suited you touched you especially

self image is commonly effected by the progression of pregnancy, and you were no exception to that

although it was amazing how your body grew and made a little home for your tiny babies, it was still quite strange to see yourself changing so quickly

your favourite clothes didn’t fit around your doubled bump anymore

and your skin seemed to hate sharing nutrients with two extra people

but for the days where you struggled to love yourself, taehyung easily filled in the gaps for you

sneaking up behind you in the bathroom

(although the mirror kinda gave him away)

he’d wrap his arms around your just-moisturised bump and carefully rest his chin on your shoulder

“tell me all your worries honey.”

you gushed over how much you missed wearing your favourite jackets

and how strange it was to look at yourself in such a new and confusing way

“i know it’s normal, and i know i have to do it for them. but i guess it’s just weird - i don’t look like myself anymore”

he sighed and planted a kiss on a spot of bare skin

those small kisses still tickled you like they always had

“well, you definitely look different,”

you really hoped there was a second part to that sentence, mostly for tae’s own good

“but why does that have to be bad? not gonna lie, it actually kinda makes you hotter. maybe we should make babies more often!”

“make~?”

LABOUR AND DELIVERY

originally, you had wanted to try and stick to the natural route for as long as you could

but after a few contractions, that idea was immediately out of the window

to help steady yourself and wait out the pain, you held onto the kitchen island and swayed to your own pace

eventually, taehyung joined you

copying the same movements while timing your contractions

“they really must be desperate to come out, huh?”

“well do you think they could hurry it up a bit?!”

the pair of you had been prepared for this for over a month

the hospital bag was ready by the door with all of your essentials packed tightly inside

not forgetting the pots of instant ramen taehyung insisted he must bring in case of an emergency

just as he was readying to back out of the driveway, taehyung took a mental stock check of everything packed in the back

“do you think we have everything?”

“i love you but stop talking please.”

thankfully, he understood well that the sheer pain made you cranky

so long as he assured himself that it was ‘just the contractions’, he’d be just fine

as much as he couldn’t wait to announce he was about to become a father to everyone, he kept himself grounded when walking you to the maternity ward

one corridor in and you’d suggested that a wheelchair might be a better mode of transport

breathlessness and contractions didn’t sound like a favourable mix to you

the assessment of your fast dilation granted you an immediate spot in the labour ward

you’d picked this suite specially due to its expansive space

the option of a birthing pool was still available if you so needed it, but the mood lighting and access to aromatherapy was what attracted you to the room in the first place

a serene paradise for your angels to be born into

it was perfect

taehyung explored while you adjusted to your new surroundings

of course, it didn’t take him long to find the birthing ball

“what’s the difference between a yoga ball and a birthing ball?”

there obviously was none, but you took a few seconds to try and be smart with him

“well, sit on that and you might have a baby the size of a watermelon come out of you soon.”

taehyung cradled his torso and pulled a shocked expression, which was enough to make you giggle and cause another contraction

less than a few hours passed, and you had already attempted to scream the building down once or twice

“get these babies out of me. no i’m serious, i need them out.”

realising your deadpan expression, taehyung soon attended to you at the head of your bed

stroking your slightly sweaty head and patting a ice cold flannel on your clammy forehead

he braced himself for a crushing hand grip which came about sooner than he’d prepared for

you weren’t the biggest fan of commotion, and so being surrounded by nurses and doctors was close to being your worst nightmare

taehyung focused his voice into your ear, trying to minimise the tension coming from below your pelvis

his motivational words were broken up by short bursts of pushes

many of which were followed by a string of curse words which just slipped out

and then, there it was.

the first piercing cry belted across the room

a tear or two may have happened to slip from your eyes

finally the moment you’d waited for, nearly two years in the making, was here

the first of two, a little girl who already had a head full of the most luscious black hair

taehyung wanted to hold back his happy tears in order to show some kind of strength

but you and him both knew he’d never hold it back for long

within the space of 4 minutes, the second baby was born into the world.

but this time, there was no immediate cry

the whole world seemed to slow down in that moment as you waited

and waited

midwifes gathered around the new infant, looking for any kind of obstruction

but, soon enough, your son said his first hello to the world

#taehyung #kim taehyung #bts #bts taehyung #bts v #bangtan #bts reactions #bts imagines #bts one shot #bts drabble #bts headcanon #bts mtl #bts imagine #bts reaction #bts pregnancy #taehyung dad #taehyung x reader #taehyung x oc #taehyung pregnancy

796 notes · View notes

1111jenx · 3 years

Note

Hiiiii it's 1:11 right now ✨

Anyway, have you heard of the mars degree theory in terms of mother-child charts? Basically Mars is a big player in bringing about childbirth and will be within 5° of mom's natal Mars, if not in the same sign. I was intrigued by this so I looked into my siblings and found: older brother has Mars at 15° Aries, little sister has Mars at 11° Cancer. My mom was born in rural place so birth time is unknown but according to my siblings hers should be somewhere between 12°-13°.

My Mars is at 27° Cancer which is so far from the other two- a whole 15 degrees and I'm just like where is my real mother 🙃 I initially looked up my son's chart and found his Mars is at 29° Aquarius so it held true with us.

I've always felt out of place in my family, I look a little different, different complexion, and it was always a joke that I was the milkman's baby; I never connected with them. But seeing the difference in degrees between them & I, when my own son proves the theory right, is it crazy to think that they actually are not my family?

They also have heavy taurus & libra in their charts. I do not.

Any insight is greatly appreciated, I love your mind! 🖤

Hey love,

I was working on a big post and had to stop to reply to you cause I can tell you needed this:)

I also found the theory you're referring to (thank you for sharing this knowledge! its crazy how I learn new things everyday with you guys)

🧿Mars Degree Theory —

— Mother & Child Relationship 🧿

Nearly always when a woman gives birth there will be a Mars aspect within 5 degrees to the woman’s natal Mars and I have yet to see the chart of a mother and child where there is no aspect present between the baby’s Mars and that of it’s mother’s Mars within 5 degrees unless Mars is in the same sign.

I checked my mom's chart immediately and being the superstitious family like we are, trust me when I tell you my grandma counted my mom's birth to the second haha💀

-> I have Mars in Cancer 21° and my mother has Mars in Virgo 9°. (both are Sag degree) However my younger brother has his at 6° Libra.

And I can 100% see how my younger brother is closer to my mom than I am and since I was a child, I do feel a sense of detachment early on with my mother. Are you also the eldest/older sibling?

And very similar to what you experienced, I was made fun because my features never looked like purely my dad's or my mom's. It could be very possible that we both experience a vague sense of not belonging due to the degree theory. But at the same time, we must acknowledge how it is still a theory at the end of the day and that we need more to go from.

Your gut feelings for example in addition to your son:) Can be something we can use to go from there. And no. Its not crazy. I'm sure everyone of us has felt this way at a certain point and while its not a nice feelings, being curious is 100% normal love!

However!! The theory also mentioned this!!

In theory no Mars to Mars aspect within 5 degrees between a biological mother and child can indicate medical intervention to bring about the birth such as inducement or more likely a Caesarian Section birth but even then there should be an aspect between Jupiter and Mars present in some form perhaps even by transit to the progressed placement of her Mars.

However a transit of Mars during the pregnancy can cause complications especially if it is negatively contacting both her natal Mars and Jupiter or her natal Saturn; also difficult during pregnancy is transiting Saturn or Pluto negatively aspecting a woman’s natal Mars.

So what I recommend if you want to dig deeper is by checking your mom's chart and the day you were born to make sure the planets are not acting up. And that your mom didn't have an early birth or a C section!

I think sitting down and putting pieces and pieces together can be an exhausting process. But a fulfilling one. What you're doing now is merely something we all do everyday, contemplating on our existence and whether or not we're living in a simulation for instance haha. So no, you're not crazy to have doubts. Especially when you already have such concrete evidences.

I'll keep looking into this and will talk more about it when there are more people coming forward to discuss this:) Thank you for sharing your experiences with me and esp the amount of trust you must have for me omg. I really value your transparency and bravery, thank you so so much for confiding in me🥺

For the people who are reading this, I'd love to hear your opinions and your mom's placement as a great observation activity!

love,

saint jenx🪐

#astrojenx #astrology observations #astro notes #astrology #astrology notes #libra rising #leo venus #astrotips #moon in scorpio #libra sun #degree theory #mars

395 notes · View notes

xsugarysweetsx · 3 years

Text

Request; from @tsundere-cherry-girl

Hello there! I love your writings btw, especially the Levi ones. I’ve seen you write scenarios like this before so I was gonna ask if you could do Zuko x pregnant reader. If you’ve read the comics, she becomes pregnant around the time of the Promise and goes into labor after the final battle in Smoke and Shadow. The child being Izumi. If you haven’t read the comics you don’t need to do that. I just want to see some Zuko and reader with baby Izumi fluff UwU

A/N: I changed it up just a tiny bit to fit the comic but also be it’s own story as well, ALSO! I’m sorry this took so long!

Warning; Long, had to be cut for length

Please enjoy~🍰

*******************************************************

The night was calm, quiet, and warm. You laid in your husbands arms as you both slept. After so much chaos, hatred and war you were finally able to rest. Well, almost, Zuko has been very jumpy since being crowned fire lord. Although some of his hunches did turn out to be true, he was very set on someone trying to kill him

“Guards!“ he had woken you from your sleep calling for the guards again, “Someone is here, secure Y/N and search the area!“ he ordered them as he jumped from bed. You following him to bring him back to bed

“Fire Lord Zuko, there is no one here, you’re safe“ one explained rushing to the door where he was ready to fight. Sometimes you thought he had too much trauma as a child that it will forever effect him

“Zuko sweet, please come back to bed. The guards have been here the whole night“ you said laying a hand on his chest attempting to keep him in a calmer state

“You highness I can assure you no one is here-“

“There have been 5 attempts already on my life! Next thing you know they’ll come for my wife“ he grabbed the guard by the front of his uniform to make the message clear as to how serious he was

“Sir we’ve-“ just as the guard spoke his head had been hit by an object knocking him out to the floor. Zuko pushes you behind him and gets into his fighting stance ready to defend you

“Who’s there?! Show yourself“ just as commanded the intruder shows themselves whirling around what seemed to be a metal ball with spikes. Right before your eyes they go at it. Taking swings at each other, sooner than expected Zuko has his opponent at his mercy being taken away by his guards. He comes back to check on you

“Hey are you alright? Are you hurt?” he checks your face, you hands anything that could have gotten a scratch. You were physically okay but mentally you didn’t feel so well. You haven’t been feeling 100% for some time now and you were getting suspicious

“I’m not hurt but, I don’t feel well Zuko“ you said leaning your head on his shoulder “Can you help me to bed please?“ You ask him, he wraps an arm around you and helps you walk to the bed and lay down. Walking back to the door his guards wait for his order

“I want double the guards here tonight and tomorrow I need the royal healer here for Y/N“

“Yes Sir!“ he closes the door and walks back to your side of the bed. Kissing your head he watches over you through the night. For one, you might not feel well, and the other being of what just happened. It was going to be a very long night....

~~~

The next morning the healer came as asked and took some time to check up on you while Zuko got ready for the day. He had given you some medical tea blends and told you to get rest. Turns out you were pregnant. Now you needed a way to tell Zuko, and with all the stress he’s under you wouldn’t know how to react. You had just finished getting dressed when he had walked in

“Y/N, I’m heading out into town to settle last nights incident. What did the healer say?“ he asked coming over to where you sat

“Well, it’s nothing to be worried about but, something that will change everything“ you said fiddling with the tips of your hair

“Well?“ he urges you “Come on Y/N, if I hear you’re okay it’ll make my day better“ he offered a soft smile which he knew, you melted for. You said and take his hands into yours and look into his eyes

“I’m pregnant...“ his jaw went slack almost as if he were frozen in time. It scared you “Zuko...?“ anything, he could just make a sound but you needed to hear him say something.

“I....I have to go. I’ll see you later.“ he said kissing your forehead and leaving without saying another word. You were, hurt. You didn’t blame him completely because expressing his emotions wasn’t exactly his forte. Instead while he was out you went to the other person you trusted the most.

Knocking softly on the entrance to the garden Iroh was sat drinking some tea.

“Ah Y/N, good morning come have some tea. I heard Zuko went to town to settle some things“ he said as he poured you a cup “I’ve also heard you’ve got something on your hands“

You simply nod and take the tea he held out to you

“So, why don’t you tell me about it“ he said with a kind smile. Iroh was probably the wisest, kindest soul you knew.

~~~

Later that afternoon Zuko came back and if anything looked more tired than before. You had a hunch as to where he was but you were hoping it wasn't true. Walking to him you cup his chin with both your hands and make him look at you in the eye

“You need to relax more...“ you said running your thumb over the bags under his eyes “You’re going to be tired before the baby gets here..and stop visiting your father, it’s not good for you“

His larger hands come up to hold yours “I’ll try, and I’m sorry about before...I’m happy” he offered a soft smile

“Are you really?“ you pout slightly making him peck your lips

“Yes I am, I know I’m not the best person for a father or husband..”

“Zuko“ you bring his forehead to rest on yours “You are the best person to be my husband and the father of my children. I couldn’t want anyone else“

As time went on things only weighed in his shoulders more. You were probably the only thing that kept him sane. You were also starting to show, your baby was growing nicely and very restless as well. On days when Zuko would have trouble sleeping the baby would get restless leaving both of you tired. But he had figured it out, if he lays in bed with you and talks to your bump, the baby calms down.

“What do you think it’ll be Zuko?“ you asked

“Hmm, I think it’s a girl. They refuse to listen, and gets upset when I don’t talk to it, I’d say it’s you any day“ you gently wack his shoulder causing you both to laugh “I don’t mind what they are, if they’re healthy and we can make them happy is all I care about“

“You’re going to be a great father Zuko“ you said kissing his forehead

“But...what if-“

“I’m going to stop you ahead of time. You are NOTHING like that man and you will never be. You are the kindest, strongest, best man I have ever met and our baby is lucky enough to have you as a father”

Yes, he was terrified to make the same mistake this father make the same mistake his father made. You knew him better than anyone and if he were half as back as his father, you wouldn’t be there at that moment.

~~~

By the time you were almost due it seemed as if war had never left. From Azula attacking once again, to disagreements and even almost a Fight with Aang. Things were heavy on his shoulders, he’s tightened security because of your baby. The last thing he wanted was for anything to happen to you both.

Finally a day where everything was being settled, calmly he felt some kind of relief. That was until a guard barged into the meeting room to announce you had gone into labor. The funny thing about Zuko is that he’s fast and for some reason no one sees him. As soon as people looked away from the door and back to Zuko, only his chair was in their sight.

“Do you think he left that fast when he heard you were alive?” Sokka asked as the room became quiet

Rushing to the healers room at the door he was told he wasn’t allowed inside.

“What do you mean?! My wife is giving birth to our baby and I need to be with her!” This was going to be an old rule he was going to get rid of...

“I-I apologize sir but it’s been a tradition for generations-“

“ZUKO!!” Next thing you knew one of the midwives came to the door and saw Zuko and said

“The lady wishes for you to be with her Fire Lord Zuko” she said timidly. It took him less than a second to trip of his cape and run to your side. This was it, the end of your pregnancy, labor, the day your baby would finally be in your arms. It was a very difficult day for you, she took all day to be born and finally when the moon was high in the sky she made her appearance. She was just perfect, and for a moment the world seemed so at peace.

“She looks like you“ you whisper to Zuko as you both gaze down and admire her

“Yeah but, she’s beautiful like you“ he whispered back, he truly felt something he’s never felt. It was happiness, excitement, protectiveness, and everything in between. He doesn’t remember the last time he was this happy, this was the best day right next to your wedding day.

Just as you expected he really was a wonderful father. During the first few weeks he wanted you only on bed rest. At night he would help care for Izumi and calm her when she needed it. He was actually the one who taught her to walk. When Aang and the rest of your friends met her, he was secretly super proud and cocky about it. They couldn’t get over how much she looked like him and just how cute she was.

He also liked to have her sleep in the same bed as you guys while she was still young. When he couldn’t sleep he would just gaze at her and talk to her, even though she couldn’t answer back.

“..and you could be anything you want to be, and you could rule the kingdom your way. If you’re like your mother I know you’ll be a kind and smart ruler. You probably can’t understand me right now but, I love you and your mother so much“ you felt your hear swell while you pretended to be asleep.

Although your favorite memory was him showing her how to bend when she first made a flame. She was around 6 when she first bended and he felt the flame of pride light in his chest. He showed her how to meditate and control it instead of training. He was always patient and gentle with her. It was very safe to say he was never the same as his father was with him.

Izumi and Zuko were nothing more than the center of your universe, the apples of your eye. And you knew it was the same for Zuko when he looked at you.

*******************************************************

I hope this was okay!❤️

#zuko x reader #avatar the last airbender #avatar the last airbender x reader #atla x reader #atla zuko #prince zuko #zuko #anime #anime x reader #fanfiction #atla fanfic #atla pregnant

431 notes · View notes

liddolwhynot2000 · 3 years

Text

Moments Levi shared with his beloved baby daughter- Kutchel

____________________________________

aka Levi giving all his 💕Uwu's💕 to his baby girl

____________________________________

Dadaaa

____________________________________

It's Levi's day off, and even though he tries his hardest not to look it, he's eager to run back home. He's determined to not waste a second of being off duty.

He's missed his family- you and your calming presence. The stability that he falls into at merely being in the same vicinity as you, is difficult to resist-even for a man like Levi.

Your gentleness somehow meshes well with your child's rowdiness, always laughing and wreaking havoc in the house. He wants to hold his baby brat, even if she'll try to pull his hair out for it.

So he hurries back home, but of course, he has to get past your little guard first. Standing with his cloak still in his arms, Levi craned his neck down to stare at the tiny creature sitting on the floor, blocking his path to his beloved wife. Said creature, wearing a blue dress, is his adorable one year old daughter.

The baby doesn't bother to spare him a glance, too busy babbling as she plays with her blocks. Levi's fine with it, it took him a while but he's learned to accept that babies don't care about, well, anything.

He ponders lifting her up and cradling her in his arms for a cuddle. But, considering the ferociousness with which his daughter is bashing two blocks together, he decides that he values his ability to hear.

Kneeling down, he sets his cloak on the floor and sits in front of her, waiting to be noticed. Kutchel looks at him, her big black eyes innocently blinking at him. She shoves a block into her mouth and gurgles, recognising him.

"Do I have your approval to go to your mom now?"

"Ba da guuu"

"Is that a yes or a no?"

More random babbling. Tiny hands busy themselves with trying to crawl away, so Levi pats her on the head and gets up to go to his wife. He doesn't notice his baby pausing mid crawl to pout at him, wanting him to stick close.

He also doesn't see her little face cutely scrunch up, thinking of ways to stop him and bring one of her favourite humans back to her.

''Daadaaa."

Levi freezes, his heart immediately melting. He can't stop himself from turning back to his child, not when she calls out for him like that.

He cradles her in his arms, unaware that you're watching from the kitchen door, committing the sight to memory.

__________________________________

Conversations

__________________________________

You've been with Levi for so long now-so much of your life has been spent with this wonderful man and you have no regrets whatsoever.

You do, however, have secrets. Not serious ones, but pure ones. Small, precious memories you've kept to yourself. They're you're little secrets- events that you look back on with fondness.

Events Levi doesn't know you saw happen.

You remember, when you were exhausted from giving birth, how lovingly Levi talked to your newborn daughter.

'Hey brat, you better keep it down now. Your mom just fell asleep- don't yawn. You're already not listening to me-'

He thought you were asleep. If it weren't for your stitches, you would have giggled and alerted him to the fact that you were listening.

You remember all those times you were never woken up by Kutchel crying-because Levi would wake up before you.

'Go to sleep.'

'oooooh'

'I said; Go. To. Sleep. Don't smile at me-- hey stop laughing-'

You caught on to it very randomly, and the memory warmed your heart to this day.

Levi often had silly little conversations with baby Kutchel, when he thought you weren't in hearing range.

'Yes this is the right way-no what do you mean I can't fold shirts like this-you're pouting you obviously don't agree.'

'Kid- I don't know why you like Eren so much-but this works because he can be an unpaid babysitter-no? Fine, I guess I can pay him a little. Okay fine, I'll pay him more then a little.'

'Do you like this dress? Me neither. How about this one-these socks are awful why the hell do you have these-'

'Yes tea is better then coffee. Coffee is for soulless creatures like Mikasa-Hey, don't cry dammit, why do you have to like the brat that glares at me so much huh? You tiny traitor.'

'So I'm taking you to that military ball tommorow-and I expect you to cry enough that I have an excuse to leave. You cry, I leave and then you get as much milk as you want. We good? Good. Don't tell your mother.'

'You threw up on that military police soldier-I'm proud of you brat. Now, let's aim for throwing up on Erwin. Or at least trying to rip his eyebrows out. I feel like the rumour of them being fake might be true.'

'I know you can't talk much, but make a vow to me that you will, never, ever say yes to anything your Aunt Hange asks of you. Trust me, it's for you own good.'

'Kutchel- stop that-I will pay you to stay still. Here, here's all the money I have, which isn't much. Take it and stay still- why the hell are you still wiggling, you need to put your socks on dammit-'

And so much more. It warmed your heart to think of how beautifully he had bonded with her from the start. And you can only be glad you get to see their entire journey together.

__________________________________

Cloak

__________________________________

Levi is a man who values cleanliness above all things-he's made sure his house is so clean that all the rooms are sparkling. Despite having a baby in the house, who had recently learned how to walk and subsequently wreak havoc everywhere she wants to, he still tries his hardest to stick to those standards.

So that's why, here he is, pathetically trying to wash clothes, with a clingy toddler who has made it her life's mission to ruin his life. How is she doing this, one would ask. Well, making sure that he can't even put the damn clothes in the basket was one.

'Kutchel-no-stop it, give that back.'

Levi's a little ashamed of himself, just his hands moving to grab his swords are usually enough to strike fear into the heart of his enemies. Yet, here they are, incapable of winning a tug of war with his one year old brat.

He's really, really glad that Hanji can't see him right now.

He manages to get the shirt out of Kutchel's strong grip, causing her to pout and flail her arms with a whine. Levi refuses to give in and snatches the next piece of clothing before she can. He gives her a stern look.

'No.'

With that, he dumps it in the basket. Kutchel doesn't appreciate it, sitting down and pouting at him cutely. It doesn't last long, because she busies herself with the clothes again. At least she isn't snatching them from his hands this time, and only picking on the clean pile.

He gets up to get some more detergent, smiling to himself at the sound of happy gurgles. Once he comes back, he catches sight of Kutchel, and nearly drops all the powder.

His child is exactly where he had left her, except she's now wearing his Survey Corps cloak. Her black hair, much like his own, is messy and the hood is too big for her tiny head. She looks up at him, and smiles in the face of his horror. On one hand, it's pretty damn cute. On the other hand-

'Oh hell no-'

He starts to take the cloak off of her, ignoring her cries of indignation. His child won't have anything to do with the Survey Corps. Ever.

Too bad 15 year old Kutchel Ackerman had every intention of stealing his title from him- but that's a story for another time.

____________________________________

Clapping

____________________________________

Levi has self control. Plenty of it, actually. One could easily argue that, after Erwin, he's one of the most composed individuals in the military.

He's dealt with all sorts of people-rude, snobbish, arrogant bastards who think they stand a chance against him. His expression never waivers, even as he insults them to the point their ancestors are crying in the graves.

But what's happening right now, it makes him lose his precious self control. His face, so used to being that of an expressionless grumpy old man, is scrunched up in anger. Levi does not like what's happening.

Not one bit.

Levi can deal with people trash talking him, he never falters despite all the accurate short jokes. He can deal with people bashing Erwin without flinching-because even he's wanted to kill the man once and can't really blame others for wanting to do so as well.

However, what Levi can't deal with in a calm and rational manner, is -

'The fuck did you just say?'

'I said, your daughter is just a dumb brat.'

Yeah, this Military Police Senior Officer is dying today. Levi hopes Erwin is ready to deal with an irate Nile

'Shut the fuck up-I'm the only one who gets to call her a dumb brat.'

The Officer moves to speak again but Levi silences him with a soul burning glare. Levi turns to his brat. Kutchel is sitting on the carpet, wearing a tiny, cute red dress you had bought for her on sale. She's surrounded by numerous toys, gifted by his comrades.

'Kutchel-'

The baby pauses in her play time, which is chewing a stuffed bear, and turns to look at her papa. The officer looks confused.

'If you're happy and you know it clap your hands.'

There's a pause in the room. The officer looks surprised, although he thinks Levi just proved his point. Kutchel looks to be only a few months old and Levi has just monotonously stated a sentence that is usually sung. There was no way the brat would actuall-

Kutchel squealed in delight, pressing her hands together slowly. Once she notices her papas approval, she starts clapping happily.

Levi smirks, while the officer sweat drops.

'See that, bitch? No' dumb brat' does that at 9 months old.'

Of course, Levi still had to beat the guy up a little after that. No one picks on his baby but him.

____________________________________

Sorry

____________________________________

'Eat it.'

Levi pushed the spoon towards Kutchel, who refused to open her mouth.

He had seated her on the table, ditching the highchair. A bib was secured around her neck, and the brat was clearly hungry.

Except since she had eaten three bites, she refused to eat more. Levi was slowly getting more and more frustrated.

'What's your problem? I know you're hungry.'

Kutchel stared at him sadly, and his irritation thawed at the sight. His child was usually pretty well behaved when it came to food. She usually liked eating fruits and vegetables, but for some reason, kept rejecting her baby food.

Levi frowned, before deciding to taste it himself. Maybe if he ate one in front of her, she would want to eat it too-

Levi paused.

He slowly ate, resisting the urge to throw up. He grimaced and awkwardly avoided eye contact with Kutchel, feeling sheepish all of a sudden.

There was judgement in her eyes- something he couldn't blame her for.

The hell sort of crap had they been feeing her? It tasted awful. No wonder she wouldn't eat it.

Sighing, Levi shoved the bowl full of food-that-must-not-be-named away. He lifted Kutchel into his arms.

His brat pouted slightly, her small arms wrapping around his neck. Poor kid was hungry, as evidenced by her discontent expression.

Levi smiled at her lightly, tucking her head into he crook of his neck.

'Sorry Kutchel-let's go to the bakery and get some pastries. And when we get back, I'll even mix some chocolate in your milk. Just don't tell your mother okay.'

____________________________________

A/N: Heyooo. Just randomly thought of Levi being a dad and this came to mind. These are actually only some of the moments I thought of, I have plenty more in mind. Maybe I'll write those out too. Hope y'all enjoyed this! ❇️

#Attack on titan #AOT #Levi ackerman #Levi as a dad #Papa levi #Levi x reader #Baby Kutchel #Fluff

414 notes · View notes