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embrassemoi · 2 years

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𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐒 (𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐌 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒)

─── The frigid cold of Orto Plutonia was more tenacious than predicted. But Obi-Wan manages to make it warmer.

Pairing: Obi-Wan Kenobi x F!Reader

Contents: fluff, established (secret) relationship, obi being cute, bullying Ani, one suggestive joke, no beta, 1.2k+

Notes: Takes place sometime during S1E15 :Trespass of the clone wars :) also here’s the original request

“Marker… this a joke.”

The frigid cold of Orto Plutonia was more tenacious than predicted. It swept underneath clothes, chilling and biting at the skin with its coat of frost and endless expanse of snow.

Her hands, she concluded, were the coldest. The gloves the Council had issued were thin, allowing for dexterity to properly yield her saber, but provided no warmth. Her jacket, yet lined with artificial fur, did little overtime to shield them from the wind as she shivered at the bone-chilling gust of wind ruffling through.

She lowered her chin into her scarf and coat, only glancing over to Obi-Wan who shuffled closer to her as Anakin proceeded to complain.

“One. Hilarious. Joke.”

She curled and flexed her fingers, noting how numbness settled into them.

“Argh! Blast!”

She and Obi-Wan turned their heads to shoot Anakin an amused look, but he doesn’t seem to notice, only staring out over the frozen field, looking forlorn.

A series of muttered profanities spewed from him – face a blotchy pink as his arms wrapped tightly around his waist. Anakin did a poor job fighting the shivers racking his body.

She would have laughed at him had her face not been frozen into a similar grimace.

“Something the matter?” Obi-Wan asked, amusement lacing his voice.

“I’m not in the mood for your teasing right now, Master.”

“It’s an honest question. Maybe it’s something to do with how violently you’re shivering.”

“Ah, yes,” Anakin drawled, “must be because of the sun.”

“It is lovely out.”

Harsh and howling, they fell silent when the wind hit them again as they trekked further across the horizon. Anakin could be heard sucking in a pained breath and the sounds of fresh snow crunching under their boots. Even Obi-Wan turned his back sharply against the breeze, shielding both of them while several clones in the distance huddled closer together for warmth.

Anakin groaned loudly, pulling the hood of his jacket further down to shield his face. “Why is it so kriffing cold!”

She was foolish that it was impossible to get any colder than she already was and with a cloud of breath bursting out from her along with a laugh.

“Perhaps it’s because it’s winter,” she shot back, fist curling and uncurling.

A pointed elbow knocked her in the side as he grunted something inaudible.

“Have I mentioned that I hate you?”

“The Jedi cannot hate, Anakin,” Obi-Wan breathly exhaled.

She, however, found herself smirking. “Not since Naboo.”

“Oh,” he drawled, “I’m long overdue then.”

Obi-Wan forced down his smile while keeping his eyes fixated on the building they’ve been monitoring, senses alert and mind ready for impending danger.

“Okay,” Anakin hissed out dryly. He spun around, looking at the General as he slowly began inching his way back down the fill. “I can’t do this. I’m going to see if the Senator or droids need me.”

“May the Force lead you to some warmth, then,” Obi-Wan replied, only to hear Anakin spout how the Force can ‘stick it,’ much to his dismay whose only response was another wearily sigh.

Both Jedi cast one look back towards Anakin’s disappearing outline before reflexively turning towards each other. They drew closer, walking in companionable silence until more violent winds halted them in their tracks.

“Let’s finish securing the base,” he said hurriedly.

Never had she agreed to an order faster.

• • •

Time was easily lost.

They had spent hours making certain the security around the perimeter of the abandoned Republic base was stable and void of any suspects. But even inside it felt colder: the damaged heat generators broke down with long-disused fireplaces.

With what was left, the day eased into dusk as exhaustion wore down on her, the mission becoming far more violent than originally intended.

She pulled herself into a secluded room and stared out to the open sky, catching a glimmer of streaking starlight and letting tranquillity settle through instead before shifting into a meditative state.

Perhaps it was the calling of her name or the unwelcome chill engulfing the little bare skin still exposed, but she snapped out of her reverie as Obi-Wan stepped in, closing the door behind him and stood by her side.

Silence fell around them for a long, blissful moment, letting the stiffness roll from their shoulders.

He turned to her eventually, giving her a thoughtful look and murmuring, "I’ve been looking for you.”

“I tried to find somewhere warmer.”

By her side, her fingers twitched: burning from the cold before rubbing them together in hopes to convert the friction into warmth.

Instinctively, Obi-Wan reached to grasp one, pressing a kiss over her knuckles.

“I told you to pack warm,” he muttered, pulling her close to his chest. She watched his mouth curl upwards.

He beckoned her into his arms, feeling the hot air brush against the nape of her neck while he dipped his head to press a kiss to her jaw and cheek. A shiver thrilled down her spine.

“We could always share body heat later.”

Obi-Wan sighed with a low humming laugh that managed to break out a few giggles from her.

And yet, he continued to observe her with a faux-skeptical arch of his brow, standing beside her with cross arms as though he wrestled internally with a sort of dilemma. He looked at her with a strange intensity and she felt just the slightest brush of his signature against her own.

His fingers raised to tip her chin up, tenderly letting his hand brush against her cheek while his azure gaze greeted her.

“I want to show you something.”

Slowly, he tugged off his gloves before hers – not without protest – as his hands cupped hers into a ball. His eyes fluttered shut as he concentrated: the Force around them shifted, pulling out something deep within Obi-Wan.

A small gasp tore from her.

A flicker of warmth materialized in the space between them while his signature flowed outwards. It ebbed away at the cold filling their bodies with warmth and he continued to emit light.

Like this, with the little light still left to reflect off the blinding white snow, it glinted off strands of his auburn hair and made them burn like gold.

“Better?” he asked, eyes fluttering open with a slight pink hue on his cheeks.

As the cold released her from its hold, her body relaxed into his warm embrace. She could feel her hands again, that dull numbness vanishing the longer he held them.

“Better.”

He hummed and like muscle memory, Obi-Wan briefly let his signature expand out, checking for anyone close before leaning in, pressing warm lips against hers and sliding his hand down the base of her neck.

It was soft, without urgency, and everything felt like an unravelling of heat – open-mouth kisses that held no meaning other than just being content to be near each other, to simply have something just for them at that moment.

She kept breathing him in, feeling her head swim and body effervescent.

It was only the sweeping cold that managed to work past the walls and barrier of warmth that stopped them. Obi-Wan’s signature flickered intensely, feeling another wave of warmth wrapping around her dotingly.

“You have to teach me that one.”

He gently pressed his forehead against hers.

“I don’t know. I like holding you like this.”

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vad-hander · 1 year

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MY LOVE, ITS BEEN TOO LONG

pairing: Jeno x reader

genre: medieval!au, angst, fluff, eventual smut, slow-burn, established relationship

warnings: reader!princess, Jeno!knight, forbidden love

words: 4.3k

PART 1 | PART 2

“Milady, the King is arriving back at the castle. He would like to see you after the monks’ bell.”

“In that long? I could come by now.” you jumped up from the bench you sat on while taking a break from the tiring walk in the garden.

“His Excellency would like to rest after the road trip. It was an exhaustingly long road.”

“I understand.” you gave them a nod and as your fathers server bowed, they quickly got lost between the bushes of the garden.

“You must be very fond of your father.” The man next to you spoke.

“It’s not that-“ you cleared your throat “I am very fond of my father but there’s a conversation we need to have. I need courage to speak.” you added in whisper to yourself.

“Nervous? Why would you feel that way?” The man looked at you, making you raise your eyebrow. Even if he was a respected guest, there were boundaries, he had to remember. “I apologise, it’s not any of my business.”

“You’re right, it’s not.” you smiled at the man and looked away. He’s been asking a lot of unnecessary questions as soon as he realised you weren’t on the cold and untouchable side, finding more time in the day to ask away. The man, surprisingly to you, had so much spare time besides all the meetings castles subordinates arranged for him with the merchants of the village. It was for the best, though, his presence helped you to get your fixated brain off the only man you could think of. The one you were not able to see for the past couple of days.

The more time passed since your last interaction the more worry crawled up your spine. You wanted to talk to your father, ask him what did he tell Jeno, what was the conversation about? Was he even fine…? Alive… even? You shivered at the mere thought of him not being with you anymore.

“Your highness, is everything okay?” The man reached out for you, coming back to his senses quickly and pulling back.

“I’m good. Thank you.”

“Father! I hope the trip wasn’t too tiring for your Excellence.” you left kisses above his knuckles.

“The trips always get tiring when you get my age.” he chuckled.

“Father!” you exclaimed in an attempt to scold him. “You are still very young. May your life be everlasting.”

“My child, it would be tiring.”

“Right.” you smiled expectedly, you were happy to see your father once again, but talking to your father wasn’t the reason behind that bubbling feeling in your chest. You really wanted to just ask him about Jeno now.

“Did you enjoy the company of our guests?”

“Yes, yes.” you nodded, smoothing down the dress around your waist. “Besides being very busy, Sir Lamet made a lot of effort in keeping me company. I’m very thankful for that. Since my dear sisters’ departure I’ve been lonely in our castle. My only friends are my servant Kirsta and Sir Jeno, who seemed to disappear all of a sudden.” you looked at your fathers emotionless face expression upon mentioning Jeno. “Have you, by any chance, heard of his whereabouts? Usually he would tell me if he had to leave for a campaign.”

“No, I have not heard of him, I was away, may I remind you.” you nodded, your ears not being able to hear anymore as blood rushed to your head. “Sir Lamet will join us for dinner today.” The King looked at his cuticles.

“Okay.” you nodded and stood up from the floor you sat on previously next to your fathers leg. You needed to find Kirsta immediately.

“I have not finished my words.” your father spoke firmly, still with a caring undertone. You turned around to drop back on your knees.

“I apologise.”

“At the dinner Sir Lamet will ask for my blessing and I will give him one.”

“What do you mean?” you blinked dumbfounded. “What sort of blessing?“

“Blessing to marry you. You’re old enough now and there’s no reason for me to keep you sheltered in the castle any longer-.”

“But I thought Sir Lamet was-“ you couldn’t talk as a lump in your throat blocked air, you had to gasp. “You’ve told me Sir Lamet was just a high-rank merchant, how, how the Kings daughter could marry a merchant. Didn’t Sir Jeno come to you for a conversation before you left?”

“He did. I didn’t approve of that.”

“But why…? You-, didn’t you find Jeno a respectable young man? I thought he was a part of our family, you never-.” you gulped and realised you talked too much, bowing apologetically.

“Your sister thought she was tortured when she got married. She never showed it to you, she cared for her little sisters feelings. She didn’t want you to be scared of your own future, but in a private conversation she told me she was scared. I gave her my reassurance that everything will be good, and look at her now? She is happy indeed, her letters are full of love. I knew it wouldn’t be the case for you, not after you and that boy imagined all sort of things about your future. I personally asked Prince Lamet to come here and get to know you and let you to get to know him, for you to get to know each other.”

“P-prince?” you gulped and felt frozen in your limbs.

“This is what I did for you, my dear little girl, because I always had a soft spot for you, my little princess.”

“Sir-, Prince Lamet pretended to be a merchant for three days to get close to me before asking for your blessing?”

“Yes.”

“Please send him away, father.” you lowered your head and begged, with no second thought. “I-“ you saw no point in biting your tongue anymore. “I love Sir Jeno. I would only want to marry him. He would be my perfect husband, he could become the King one day if it’s needed.”

“A nameless boy from a poor family? The King? You must be out of your right mind, child.”

“His family aren’t the richest in our kingdom, but they are well-off, Jeno is a knight, he’s well off on his own, educated, naturally smart. There is not a reason to doubt his abilities.”

“It’s set. The marriage is set and not up for discussion with a stupid girl like you. I’ve let you make up a story in your head and that was a mistake.” The King raised his voice. “Leave, now. You are frustrating me. This is not how I raised you. After all the things I’ve done for you, after everything I’ve allowed you I should’ve expected your behaviour to get out of hands. This is unacceptable. Prince Lamet is the future King in his country, he needs successors, the fact that The Crown Prince himself traveled here and took care of your feelings shows that he’s more than deserving to get my blessing, he is more than deserving to get you as his wife. The conversation is over. See you at the dinner.” You bowed multiple times with a shaking eye, making your way out on trembling legs.

“Kirsta!” you screamed loudly as soon as you were able to find your way to the wing with the servants rooms.

“Milady, I’m so sorry, I went to my brother while you were with the King.” she bowed 90 degrees at you.

“Run me a bath, I’m going to sleep.”

“Milady, I was told to make you look beautiful for today’s dinner.” she asked with her polite voice. “Sir Jeno is coming, right?” she beamed.

“Tell them I’m sick.” you turned around and ran back to your room.

“Milady.” Kirsta caught up with you, coming inside. “The King himself told me to make sure you were attending. Otherwise, he told me, I should report that to him, and he’ll take you there with his own force.” you closed your eyes tired. The girl was definitely uncomfortable in the situation, the threat from the King directed at you was one of the unusual things in the household. “I beg you to let me get you dressed. I would never want to frustrate you, Milady, but under the influence of your father, our King, I don’t have a choice.” she lowered her head, almost dropping to her knees.

“Did you know, that the merchant that stayed with us is a Prince?”

“The-“ The girl raised her head up puzzled. “Sir Lamet is a Prince?”

“You know everything and everyone! Don’t lie, that none of you servants didn’t get the rumour before my fathers return! Don’t lie!” your insides began to boil.

“Milady, I did not know. If I knew, I would’ve told you. I would not keep that from you. I promise.”

“I’m forced to leave with him-“ your voice cracked. “At the dawn, tomorrow.”

“My dear Milady, how-? The King-.” the small girl in front of you chocked on her words, showing way too many pure emotions at once. “Sir Jeno is-.”

“Kirsta.” your heart jumped in your throat at the bare mention of his name. “Find him for me, I know you have siblings, many siblings who don’t live in our castle, cousins and many other. Please, just ask them to find Jeno and pass a note to him.” You dropped on your knees, begging in tears, while your hands gripped hers.

“Milady, you know I can’t. Please get up on your feet, Princess, you will hurt your knees.”

“Why? Why can’t you?”

“I can’t go against the King. Even if I could, I would not put my family under the threat, I’m sorry. I can’t, I really can’t. My family are poor people.” she pulled onto your hands, taking in your stilled figure as she spoke. “You know that your father would not show mercy towards anyone if they’re not you. I cannot-.”

“Is this how you’re paying for everything I’ve done for you?” You jumped up, making the girl startled. You were only hoping no one was sent to listen to you behind the door. “All the times I closed my eyes for the things you’ve done. With how disrespectful you are, with my clothes not being prepared thoroughly? So many things I closed my eyes on for you to not get scolded.”

“Dear Princess, I don’t have enough words to thank you for your utter kindness, but this is beyond my abilities.”

“Leave.” you ripped your hands out of her hold. “Get out of my chamber!” you screamed in pure rage. The coldness of the room was nothing to your burning face. It wasn’t just warm and red from crying. It was on fire with the burst of emotions you’ve never experienced before. You screamed at the top of your lungs in agony.

“Milady, I-.”

“Leave before I tell everyone how many times you messed up! Get out! Go! Leave! Now!” you shrieked at the top of your lungs. “I hate this house! I hate you! I hate everyone!” Kirsta jumped to her feet, forgetting about the manners, running away with her back to you. Your eyes ran over the chamber that you called your own. The place that was meant to be your safe space now only seemed to be filled with coldness, you snorted, as if it was any less cold before. The dark stones radiated coldness, no matter what season it was, what was the weather like outside, the stones were always cold to the touch, dark and dirty to the look. No matter how many hours servants spent on cleaning them - they still were an ugly piece of rock. A narrow aperture that allowed a hint of light into the room attracted your attention - you would spend hours staring out of it, watching your folk live a life you couldn’t, watching how people would come and go into the castle, watch the only person you ever loved approach the stairs. How badly you wished he’d somehow appear in front of the stairs now.

Besides the hole in the wall that allowed you to take a look of the outside world the chambers decoration consisted of an extensive high bed, which was the dominant and the most important interior decoration, a dressing table with a mirror that you barely used, since there was little to no chances for you to get ready by yourself and a screen for changing clothes. In addition there was a vase on a big stand next to the entrance, to which you walked, grabbing the vase and smashing the porcelain before you could think against the floor. It didn’t take much strength in you to smash the fragile decoration thanks to the stone tiles.

“My Princess!” the door opened wide, your eyes drifting to see the person that opened it with your wide eyes. “Did you get hurt?” the man rushed over to you, taking your hands in his to inspect them. But he wasn’t Jeno, he wasn’t allowed to call you his princess because you weren’t his. You pulled your arms back in an instance.

“Sir Lamet. I am not your Princess, don’t call me that.” You bashfully hid your hands behind your back. How did he even get here?

The man inspected your eyes for a second, lowering them back to the porcelain. “Did your father not have a conversation with you yet?” he took a good look at your face once again. There wasn’t a chance he didn’t notice the state you were in, still wet trails of tears on your cheeks, puffed up eyes and overall redness of your appearance, but whatever was the reason, he didn’t mention it.

“He did. Did you come to ask my opinion, too?” you asked coldly, walking away from him. Your feet took you to the dressing table, you sat down busying yourself with the brushes.

“I-.” he swallowed before trailing behind you. “Dear Princess,” The man paused as if in deep thought, but in a moment found your eyes in the reflection of the mirror, staring to speak. “This may come as a shock to you, but I have to let you know, I am mesmerised by your character, your natural graciousness and tact.” you wanted him to stop there. Raise from the stool, give him a thank you and excuse yourself. “All your qualities made me certain I have not made a mistake by coming here after your fathers pleads to meet you first, before pronouncing you my wife.” you sighed silently. “I never expected my family, Me, to make an exception, but now, that the exception has been made, I may have to tell you, my goal for the life is to make our family happy, I’ll let you take full reign of the castle, full reign of my heart.” you paused, staring at the man through the mirror. What was he doing? Is this how things were done in his country? You’ve loved Jeno since you were 5, and despite the fact the love was mutual, you two never even said the words, never even tried to, it was obvious and clear and didn’t need words to be spoken. You felt scandalised, astonished. This man’s words were such a vulgarity blood rushed to your face once again. “Dear princess, my dear princess, I want you to know that the recent days we spent together…” he paused but it didn’t seem like he was done talking, still, you wished for him to shut up. “I pronounce my love for you. I love you.” you opened your mouth wide. He was not-. He, most definitely was, confessing his love to you. Maybe he’s feeble-minded? That’s why you were set to be next to him?

“Wh-what?” you couldn’t hold your composure because one thing was being forced and tricked into a marriage against your will to a man that didn’t care either - it’s not something you were willing to accept, but the foreign prince saying he loves you right after you met each other? You almost chocked shocked. You’d rather hear him say he hated your presence, being forced into living with a man that loved you against your wishes gagged you.

“I will give you as much time as you need to come in terms with your feelings towards me.”

“Sir Lamet.” you intently kept away from saying his title. “I appreciate… I won’t come in any terms with my feelings towards you. I won’t-.” he opened his mouth as you spoke and you closed your mouth immediately, you weren’t about to interrupt a man, no matter how upset or hurt you were.

“I brought this necklace with me from my home. It belonged to my great-great grandmother and now that we’re going to get married, I’m passing it on to you.” The Prince reached out to your neck, drawing a few lines over your nape with his fingertips. Your breath hitched at the touch of those foreign fingers. You almost closed your eyes thinking of Jeno’s gentle touch to your breasts last time he was here. You could only open them when the cold stones hit your chest, you focused on how heavily you breathed, how the dress was caging in your sudden necessity to breathe. You missed out how the Prince touched your bare shoulders, how his lips landed over the skin of it and planted a kiss there.

“Sir Lamet, you should not-.” you jumped up, almost making him trip over the stool that got in the way of his legs, at the same time almost knocking his teeth out with your shoulder. “Please, take this off. Take the necklace back.” you touched the back of your neck to get it off you.

“No, I want you to wear it to our first dinner as engaged couple.”

“I’m not-.” his eyes flickered at your words. They snapped into threat and back in a blink, but it was enough for you to notice, your father did the same thing at times. “I will gladly wear the necklace to our first dinner, Sir Lamet.” you bowed, smiling diligently.

“You can just call me Crown Prince.”

“Of course.” you bowed, expecting him to disappear.

Swallow, blink and smile, you told yourself.

“Kirsta.”

“Yes, Milady.” she ran up to you, her head was still low, letting you know the aftertastes of your last conversation still lingered in her heart.

“I-.” you sighed. “I have to give you my apology. Since my sister left, you were nothing but a friend to me.”

“Milady, you should not-, I would never ask for your apologies, it’s me who should really apologise and appreciate your kindness and understanding.”

“It’s fine, it really is.” you watched the only other person in the room finally be done with the porcelain pieces on the floor and leave. “If only you could help me with one thing-.” the girl rose to her actual height, her ears peeking up to listen.

“I would do anything for you, Milady, as long as it doesn’t involve my family.”

“It’s not.”

“I am here for your service.”

“Help me sneak out of the castle.”

“Mil-.”

“No, please, listen.” The girl blinked fast. “I need your help to see Jeno. I have to see him.”

“If the King finds out I helped-.” she whispered in fear.

“He would not!” you whispered back. ”I’ll attend the dinner.” The girls eyes lit up ”I’ll be on my best behaviour and then you’ll help me to run away and see Jeno.” Kirsta lowered her eyes to her feet, clearly lost in thought. ”I have to see him, Kirsta. Before they force me to another country forever. I cannot leave without seeing him for the last time! Please!”

”I understand, milady, but…”

”Whether you’ll help me or not, I will run away to find him. Your help would make my task much easier, but I’ll go through it either way.” you swallowed and straightened your back back. You were a princess at the end of the day, the girl must know her place, you thought.

“I will try my best.” the girl finally said.

“For starters, send someone from the castle to see if Sir Jeno is in town. Incognito, obviously.”

“Yes, Milady. I can easily do that for you.”

“Make sure they are back before the dinner ends!” you threaten for no reason, you didn’t need to doubt the girl, you knew it for sure.

“Milady.“ A low-toned whisper made you jump in fear. As the sun was setting castles corridors turned into space with a lot of dark corners.

“Who- who are you?“ did Kirsta manage to bring Jeno to the castle? You were about to burst in tears.

“Milady, Kirsta is waiting for you on the other side of the castle. She asked me to help you get there.“ The man walked out of the dark corner and he didn’t look anything like Jeno, you sighed. It was indeed very naive to assume he’d be here.

“I excused myself from the dinner.“ You explained as the man wasn’t just walking in front of you, with every next step he took he sprinted even faster than before, fully running just a couple minutes into the walk. “There is a great chance I won’t be needed for a long time. We don’t have to hurry up so much.“ You tried to sound more insistently than before. The dress and shoes you were, heaviness of the accessories on your chest and head didn’t help your running abilities you were panting and grunting.

“Milady, I assume you don’t understand much of the real life behind these walls.“

“Yes, and what do I not understand?“ You asked amused, bumping into the man that suddenly stopped on his tracks, turning to face you.

“That if anyone sees you coming out of this castle every one of us is going to be hung with a rope around our neck, even the ones who had nothing to do with you and your little affair.“

“It’s not true.“ You shook your head in disbelief.

“You have never been outside. You don’t even understand that you wouldn’t survive a minute being the way you are on the other side of that wall.“

“This is not true, also.“

“You’d get raped and robed a second some homeless drunk sees you in your pretty dress with those stones on your neck. And he would be right for that.“

“Excuse me?! What is your name?“

“Does that matter? I bet my life you’ll never return once you get your feet out. Kirsta seems to not understand that she can get you out but there’s almost no chance for you to get back, even if you’d ever want it.“

“Why do you help?“

“I don’t want Kirsta to get in trouble because of you.“

“I-,“ you gulped, trying to think of what to say. You weren’t getting her in trouble, she helped volunteerily.

“Milady! Milady!“ Kirsta ran through the corridor, you could see her figure through the dim lighting.

“Yes?“

“I was scared something happened to you, why is it taking you two so long?“

“Is Jeno in the village?“

“He is, my cousin walked past the house.“

“Thank god.“ You sighed relieved, finally.

“Put this on, quickly, we have to hurry, milady.“ She threw over your shoulders a dirty-brown coloured cape. It was perfect length to hide the hem of your dress. Kirsta threw the hood over your head. “Don’t take this off, please keep your head lower, the folk could notice and you’ll get in trouble, let’s go.“ The girl gestured to follow behind and you did, running to the garden. The man that escorted you to Kirsta still followed behind, you wondered what were his motives.“Milady, I won’t go any further with you, I have to go back to the castle and make sure everything is okay while you’re absent.

“How do I find Jeno, where does he live? Where do I have to go?“ The man besides you snorted.

“I have my cousin waiting for you behind that wall of flowers. He’ll get you to Jeno.“ You opened your mouth to thank the girl before you were interrupted.

“Kirsta! Not the family! Didn’t we talk about how dangerous it is to help her?“ The boy hissed. You were working out his features, was he Kirsta’s brother?

“He’s just a kid! No one would suspect.“ She pushed him away, talking to you once again. “Please keep a step behind from him, that way the both of you will be safe.“

“Yes, fine.“ You nodded, it did really feel like needed to go now.

“Milady-,“ the girl grabbed onto your hand “This is the important part… you have to ask Sir Jeno to walk you back. My cousin will not be able to wait for you.“

“It’s fine, Kirsta, I will find my way back. Now, you two, go back, before we’ll attract attention.“

“Yes, yes. I’ll be packing your things for tomorrows departure.“

“Sure.“ You smiled at her kindly.

The way out of the castle was rather disgraceful, you had to admit. Pushing your body through branches and bushes, jumping over a low fence that finally somehow got you out of the place you called your home. You ran your eyes over the wall, raising them more up to see the castle. You just wished you could take a very last glance at your father, to have the chance to get back to your chamber and take with you the things that made that soulless room a tiny bit warmer.

“Are you… the princess?“ You got jump-scared once again. Were you that obvious to get busted in an instance, the moment your feet landed outside? “Do you know Kirsta?“

“Oh- You’re going to help me?“

“Yes, I think I will.“ The boy smiled mischievously. He wasn’t taller than the level of your elbow, making you wonder if your escort was even 10.

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the-obnoxious-sibling · 5 months

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I don’t care about his haters I want to hear about buggy’s qualities 😭😭😭

i let this one sit in my inbox for a while because your phrasing kept making me laugh. i hope you don’t mind the delayed response.

buggy’s qualities! (note i did not specify good qualities or bad qualities.) let’s get into them.

already established in that post:

greedy (obviously)

selfish (obviously)

two-faced (very obviously)

loyal (limited applications)

self-preserving (a strong instinct)

untrustworthy (almost comically obviously so)

trusting (to the point of naïveté)

an interesting, contradictory lineup. what else is there to buggy?

he has very romantic notions of piracy.

despite saying the only thing that matters to him is treasure & the acquisition thereof, the way he acts says otherwise. he parties at the drop of a hat (improving crew morale). when his crew, thinking he’s dead, has moved on, even going so far as to adopt a new captain and flag (after… how long have they been apart, exactly? weeks? days?), he rescues them, no questions asked. he weeps to hear how badly he was missed after his arrest, how proud his crew was to hear of his involvement at the paramount war, and he returns both sentiments instantly. the captain-crew bond means something to him. (small wonder why.)

he turns up his nose at crocodile’s deeply unromantic “piracy is a business” mindset—buggy doesn’t care about building capital, he wants to find the one piece! who needs a five-year plan when you can just find the biggest, best treasure that ever existed right now?!

oh, hey, related to that:

he’s impulsive.

why make a plan when you can just do things?! who needs to learn anything from these soft-hearted pirates—buggy’s got a treasure map and a devil fruit worth more money than he’s ever seen in his life! he’s gonna head out on his own ASAP! that should be no problem at all… for this pre-teen… on the grand line. mm hm.

he wants to get back on the grand line and find the one piece—or captain john’s treasure—or any other treasure he finds a map for, really. how? well, he’ll follow the map, obviously! …and when that leads him into danger?

he can be inattentive.

more specifically, he gets fixated on his goal—treasure, killing luffy, silently panicking, yelling at shanks, whatever—to the point that he somehow misses everything else going on around him. does not notice shanks walking up behind him—twice. does not notice smoker or his officers surrounding his men until it’s too late. walks into a cave that’s actively being mined because he thinks treasure might be there. walks into a well-appointed navy garrison because he thinks treasure might be there!

he doesn’t notice he’s standing next to whitebeard—you know, the nearly twenty-two foot tall man—until he hears the guy call him by an insulting name.

buggy makes rash decisions and has a short temper—a dangerous combination.

he hears insults where none are intended, and lashes out violently—maybe lethally?—and sometimes when insults are intended, he doesn’t bother to wonder who’s offered the insult until after he’s fired one back. at which point he may wilt like a daisy, if the person he’s insulted turns out to be, say, whitebeard.

(why yes, i do think that moment is hysterical. not least because i suspect whitebeard cannot remember buggy’s name, and calls him red-nose because that’s all he does remember about him.)

but even at his most weak-kneed, fawn response, pathetic little guy, we have to keep in mind:

he’s charismatic and inspirational.

and i’m not just talking about the impel down guys! his original crew were just as impressed by him—though maybe impressed and terrified in equal measure?—at the start of the orange town arc. they were confident in his victory over these three weirdos to the point of cockiness, just laughing when zoro cut buggy down. they’re really shaken when luffy, after a few minutes of devil fruit v devil fruit combat, totally curb-stomps buggy. they prefer to believe he’s just not taking the fight seriously yet.

they’re fully convinced of his strength, cleverness, and power!

…now i’m not saying their impression of him is based in reality.

buggy’s an excellent bullshitter.

but it’s not enough to just tell a good lie, you also have to be convincing about it. (usopp, early on, is more entertaining than convincing—a good liar of a different flavor. storyteller, not self-promoter.) and while there are plenty of characters who can see through buggy’s act (to name a few: alvida, galdino, luffy (sometimes), most of luffy’s crew, most of the named characters who broke out of impel down…), there are plenty who can’t.

buggy’s “who am i?!”/“captain buggy!” chanting with his crew is not super original, maybe, but it sure gets his men pumped up. his “let’s go after the one piece!” rant in ch 1082 doesn’t impress crocodile or mihawk, but when he airs it to cross guild as a whole it sets things in motion such that the two of them can’t do shit to stop it.

…and that’s buggy as i see him, more or less! let me know if you think i’ve forgotten something! i certainly may have, or i may have lumped the trait you’re thinking of in under one of these other headings, but you won’t know unless you ask.

#asked and answered #one piece #buggy #*buggy’s insecurities

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kylermalloy · 2 years

Note

So now that I've gone back to the beginning... I need your impressions on the pilot of TO. Things you love. Things you hate (if any). Things you love to hate about it. Did you know when you first saw it that you were going to become addicted to these lovely murder children? Also, it's been a while, so I can't remember, but do we ever see Marcel wearing a beanie in ANY other episode?🤭 That's probably a weird detail to fixate on, but looking back it seems so OOC for him.

Christina, you may regret sending me this ask 😉 once I start talking about The Originals, I’m liable to never shut up.

So. Pilot. I will admit, the first time I watched it I was rather on autopilot (hee). I’d been bingeing tvd, and while it hadn’t gotten awful yet, it was formulaic and cliche. The Mikaelsons on tvd, while still fundamentally the same characters I’d grow to love and go insane over, were written as stereotypical villains. They were written as though they had a long and storied history together, and yet they still acted like impulsive high schoolers. They annoyed me with their constant back and forth, their love and unity in one episode, and their hatred and discord in the next. They simply acted however the plot needed them to as opposition to the tvd protagonists. (We will still see this tempestuous dynamic in TO, but it will be much more nuanced!)

So while I was intrigued by the spinoff based on them, I wasn’t quite sure how it would work. Klaus, while he had been infected with the classic tvd villain decay (the once terrifyingly formidable threat is gradually—or all at once—defeated but sticks around and becomes toothless yet snarky) was still staunchly portrayed as a Bad Guy. He was mean, ruthless, killed without compunction, betrayed his family and allies whenever it suited him, and generally showed no remorse for any of it.

The backdoor pilot sets up this conflict between Klaus and Marcel, a new character who was at first portrayed to be a tyrant Just Like Klaus And Maybe Even Worse. I remember being worried about that, about Klaus’s look of hesitation? discomfort? when Marcel killed a witch in front of his cheering gang of nightwalkers. Like, Klaus has done that and worse? Why is he put off by this?

I’ll be honest, the pilot had me under the impression that Klaus and Marcel would go head to head, and the first season would end with Klaus taking the city. Maybe the second season would explore Klaus not being a good ruler, but ultimately he would triumph over the Evil Monster He Created, Marcel.

I’ve never been more happy to be wrong.

Since my initial viewing and subsequent binges of TO, I’ve watched the pilot probably a hundred times at least? Enough to have whole scenes memorized, enough to spot the footage sewn into the episode from the backdoor pilot, enough to notice all the weird narrative and dialogue loopholes they have to climb through to make this different from tvd’s backdoor pilot yet convey the same setup of the plot, while also welcoming new viewers who have never watched tvd and know nothing about this campy, bloody universe. I can pick out the ADR’d lines and cringe at the weird expository dialogue. I can point like the Leo DiCaprio meme at all the foreshadowing and recite Elijah’s dumb stupid heartfelt speech right along with him.

The pilot is by no means my favorite episode, because functionally nothing Happens except decisions—but it still has some incredible moments.

I love that Cami’s first appearance on the show is with Elijah—it establishes their little relationship easily, even though they’re functionally bonding over Klaus, the main character of the universe. (I really wish they’d kept her scene with Klaus in, though!)

I love Elijah’s first meeting with Hayley. Honestly, on first viewing I picked up none of the romantic chemistry. These were simply two key characters meeting and getting to know each other! Never mind that he places his hands on her head and tells her intimate details about his life…I’m dumb sometimes, okay? But the flashbacks are fun. (And by fun I mean they hurt!)

I love Elijah’s conversations with Klaus. I love that a second one, with a fight, was added for the series pilot. It places Elijah’s narrative sway much higher than the backdoor pilot did with his one unsuccessful speech (which Klaus answers with a “no ❤️” like the little brat he is). It establishes their bond and its importance so well. How entangled they truly are. How Elijah’s behavior we’ve seen thus far (on tvd) is actually wildly deviant from his norm, something akin to a midlife crisis for him. His true nature is the big brother who seeks Klaus’s redemption as atonement for his failure a millennium ago.

I actually, unironically, love Marcel’s beanie! I wish he’d worn one more often. Accessories are often used to help establish character when we first start a story, but sometimes they disappear as we get to know the character and no longer need anything but the bare minimum (see how Dean Winchester’s “bad boy” look went from leather jacket, ring, bracelets, necklace, and overly gelled hair to generic plaid layers over spn’s run). Marcel is ancient but not—chic, stylish, and full of *youthful arrogance.* That’s what I get from his pilot characterization—also his singing in the backdoor pilot! It establishes him as a clear foil to Klaus in every way, including style and personality.

I love the ending! I love Klaus stabbing his brother. He is still awful, and he is not suddenly going to become the hero. I love his cold acceptance of Hayley and the baby despite his want for her going deep. I love the ghost of Mikael hovering over the whole show, and the different ways Klaus and Elijah are still trying to defeat him.

As for things I hate, there’s not much I outright hate about the pilot—just things I lament. Cami only has one scene in the ep, right at the beginning. If we hadn’t already met her in the backdoor pilot (which funnily enough established her as an important character who Will Be Back much better) I might’ve thought her an extra. I want her deleted scenes back in! Her meetings with Klaus, and her second meeting with Elijah. To those who never watched the backdoor pilot, they will never know the importance of that painting. That night, the jazz, the crowd. A very important scene in season 3 is rendered useless because they cut these scenes! And that makes me sad, show!

I also never bought that Rebekah wouldn’t care about a baby. I get that she’s mad at Klaus when the pilot happens, but Rebekah’s singular wish for the whole of tvd’s season 4 was to be human and have a family. I think she would’ve cared a little more for a potential baby than the pilot shows us. She can write Klaus off, sure, and she can be indifferent towards Hayley at first—but when Elijah tells her we’re gonna be parents! I don’t think her response would just be no thanks.

Things I love to hate about it…all the clunky exposition is painful, especially now that I’ve watched the episode so much. This show is high camp, and everything is weird always. The pilot is more setup than actual plot, but it does its job. It sets everyone up on their paths—and it fooled me into thinking this show would be even slightly straightforward. I love it.

#asks #whitedahlia13 #the originals #to 1x01 #kylerrambles #it’s been four years since i first watched this show and if anything my delirium for it has gotten stronger #i did not fall instantly in love it was definitely a slow burn #but yes i am now hopelessly addicted to these murder children <3 #i’m so glad i have such amazing friends to share the madness with

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doycngs · 2 years

Text

jung jaehyun. | reiteration.

THE SEQUEL TO REPETITION! READ HERE!

summary. this time around, you have to prove a point to jaehyun when jealousy gets the best of him. but one thing he is glad for is that you’re forgivable enough to let him make it up to you.

pairing. y/n x nct’s jaehyun.

genre. established relationship!au, college!au

word count. 6k.

warnings. explicit smut, swearing, unprotected sex (wrap it up bois), dom!jaehyun, sub!afab!reader [she/her pronouns] slight cumplay, bondage again!, spanking, clit play, oral fixation (it’s what i’m calling it now idk), foreplay (receiving), dirty talk, degradation (receiving), slight choking, rough play, breeding 0_0, i think that is all + johnny is sleazy for plot purposes and um jae is a little bit annoying but it’s okay, we shall forgive him,,, he makes up for it bc he is a big dumb softie in the end <3

ah, return of the infamous jung jaehyun everybody has fallen in love with… some may be sad at this new development but i’ve added a small plot to this sequel, whoops! not proofread yet bc i wanted this out for valentine boy’s (late) bday! enjoy and dni if this is not for you, half of it is smut :)

|—————|

THE SECOND JOHNNY opened his mouth to compliment Jaehyun on how much of a catch you were, how lucky he was to have gotten you, you knew it was going to be a long night.

It was an annual end-of-the-year party for Jaehyun’s new firm he was currently working at. There were rare occasions where Jaehyun could bring you to work outings and since this dinner party, set at some fancy golf course, had plus-ones available, Jaehyun obviously invited you.

And oh, how excited you were. After all, you were pretty close to being a college graduate and never had many chances to dress up nicely. You weren’t much of a party-goer but fancy dinners did sound nice to attend once in a while.

So you tried your best with your appearance tonight. There’s nothing wrong with that. Jaehyun also loved it, considering how touchy and needy he was since you had slipped this heather mini dress on. He was tempted to just park the car on the side of the highway road and have his way with you after fantasizing far too much for safety purposes.

The only problem that Jaehyun did have was the comments you were getting from his coworker. He wasn’t all too close with everyone yet but he was shadowing Johnny as a lawyer and knew him much better than everybody else in the expansive room.

Maybe the reason why he was getting so possessive of you was that he knew how much of a lady’s man this dude was. And oh, was Johnny one.

“So how long have you two been together? For the six months I’ve known this guy, he’s bragged about his gorgeous girlfriend maybe once.” Johnny states over a flute of champagne, having politely grabbed two; one for himself and one for you out of courtesy. Jaehyun had to flag down a server for a glass himself.

You hum, smiling easily, “I believe it's close to three years now?”

Looking over to your boyfriend, his jaw tightens as he catches Johnny’s eyes wandering when you look away. He couldn’t punch his superior and cause a fight, right?

A call of his name from your pretty lips to take Jaehyun out of his violent imagination. “Oh, uh… yes. Three years. We met on my birthday.”

“Oh, that’s dope. February…?”

You butt in, your exaggerated interest (at least in Jaehyun’s warped mind) making his blood boil. “14th! He came into the flower shop I was currently working at to buy flowers for his mom. Kept coming in and giving her an abnormal amount of boutiques until I asked him out.”

“Oh, really?” The biggest smirk plants onto Johnny’s face at the new information, eyes flying over to his shadow, “I’ve never heard this story before.”

Giggling as you recall the fond memories, Johnny’s eyes are glued to you permanently, “He’s probably a little embarrassed. After I got Jaehyun’s number, he accidentally texted me his panic attack to his friend, Sicheng, on what to message me first.”

Johnny practically guffaws at the story which Jaehyun didn’t find that amusing, the most passive-aggressive smile on your lover’s face.

You suck your lips into your mouth at the sight, deciding to reign in your usual desire to brag about your boyfriend. And yes, you consider outing your boyfriend’s clumsy messaging habits as a brag. He was endearing.

Jaehyun settles his hand lower on your back, gently pushing you in a certain direction. “We’ll be right back. Gotta go figure out our seats.”

Johnny nods in agreement, saying he should do the same as the three of you part, Jaehyun’s tight hold on your hip signifying his annoyance.

Side-eying his expression, now dropped of pleasant formalities, you brush your hand onto your boyfriend’s.

“Jae, he’s just being nice—”

“You’re joking, right? He was obviously flirting—”

Here we go. The cycle is starting all over again. You thought you two were past this.

You halt on your way to searching the next circle table, bringing Jaehyun to look back and stand before you. “This is what we are not going to do, okay? Even if he’s flirting with me, ignore it.”

Jaehyun rolls his eyes, “No, I can’t ignore it. He’s been eye-fucking you since we’ve arrived!”

You grab onto your boyfriend’s shoulders, his nice hair that parted so neatly tonight already messed up from his anger. Attempting to smooth that crease out between Jae’s flawless skin, you rub up and down on his forearms.

“Then just let him. I don’t care because I’m yours and you shouldn’t either at this point, considering how much work you’ve done to get this far and shadow such a great lawyer at this firm. Don’t throw this all away for me.”

Jaehyun grits his teeth, his ears only attuned to further enrage the burning fire of green jealousy in his chest. You instantly catch onto what your boyfriend is caught up on, huffing.

“It’s two hours and then we’re gone, okay?”

When Jaehyun bites the inside of his lip, you repeat yourself, “... Okay?”

“... Fine.”

Breathing out a sigh of relief, you turn him back around and allow Jaehyun to continue trying to find your name tags at the assigned tables. You pray that Johnny doesn’t make any more out-of-pocket comments or do anything else that was slightly incriminating.

Just for the sake of his physical safety.

|—————|

The night’s luck was not on your side because you and Jaehyun were placed at the table adjacent to Johnny. Johnny kept throwing his head back and whispering what sounded like jokes into your ear, which of course, your boyfriend seethed at.

You tried hard to not seem so amused but the man’s dad jokes were out of this world. Since he gained a good reaction from the first, Johnny’s gigantic storage of them in his head had been spilling out his mouth nonstop.

At a particularly funny one, you’re covering your mouth and bent over in trying to be quiet, Jaehyun silently grasping your elbow. Biting your lip to drown your giggles with pain helps in calming down, especially after you gaze at Jaehyun’s expression again and he looks insanely pissed at his superior. And now you for entertaining the latter.

By the time all the good-natured speeches are over, plates of appetizers and entrees come whisking out. You momentarily forget about the entire dilemma for the sake of enjoying good food, free of charge. At the moment, you don’t realize your natural way of moaning at how good the lamb chops are is distracting to Jaehyun and unfortunately Johnny.

After what sounded too excessive for the situation, Jaehyun scolds you with a heated whisper in your ear.

“Stop making those noises, please. It sounds like I’m fucking you.”

Your brows furrow at the comment, bummed. The corners of your mouth are downturned for being yelled at, bottom lip jutting out.

As the night continues on, the pout stays, especially at how you just being yourself starts to irk Jaehyun. The chastising starts to hurt a little and you want to mention it to Jae, just in the way you two promised you were going to mention anything to one another that bothered you two… but then you’d be hypocritical.

After all, you were the one that pushed Jaehyun’s attempt at speaking his mind with Johnny. You should push yours aside for the end of the night too.

Jae’s last comment about making you cross your legs though makes you see red. You really didn’t need snides about your posture or how to be “lady-like”, anything of that sort. You had expressed to Jaehyun multiple times how uncomfortable you were with those types of remarks and it felt like, under this blinded emotion of jealousy, all the comfortable moments you’ve spoken what’s on your mind had vanished from your caring and attentive boyfriend’s memory.

You don’t mean to start giving Jaehyun the cold shoulder, you just get lost in your head, the both of your bad moods feeding off one another.

From how long you’ve been dating one another, the one thing Jaehyun could not stand for was the silent treatment. You know this very well and yet Jaehyun notes of your silence before you realize it yourself, now fuming at your behavior too.

The two of you end up leaving after dessert is cleaned off, way too early to be professional. Your worry about Jaehyun’s reputation clouds your unintentional muteness for a moment as he leads you two to the foyer, a staff member going to get your coat with the number you hand off to them.

“Are you sure you want to leave now?” The incredibility in your tone doesn’t help the stoic look on Jaehyun’s face.

“Yes.”

It’s a short response that has you sighing past your nostrils. Back to your silent treatment, it was.

“We’re gonna talk in the car.”

You only hum in response, forcing Jaehyun’s palms to curl into a ball. He’s had enough; Jung Jaehyun hates arguing with you.

Just as he turns to fully face your side profile, to address everything and scream his frustration out, the person comes back with your coat.

The staff member is kind in opening up your pea coat for you to step into but Jaehyun takes it from the person’s hands, allowing him to be the one to do so.

Tonguing your cheek in exasperation of Jaehyun’s irrational possessiveness, you tug the jacket on in one smooth motion, not wanting to be physically close with your rude boyfriend currently. You lead in the way to the revolving door and stalk to the car, the pain in your feet from wearing heels fueling your anger even more.

You yank the offending shoes off before Jaehyun can even unlock the vehicle, exhausted from this night now that you two were leaving. Once he does though, seeming to take his sweet time in reaching the car, you step in with a huff. Twisting the knob to blast the heat, Jaehyun climbs to the driver’s seat and buckles himself in.

He isn’t even looking at you.

“Buckle.”

You honestly want to not follow this man’s orders just to irk him, screw your welfare at this point.

“I said buckle.”

The commanding voice most of the time turns you on. But right now, it was just twisting your insides and making you feel stupid. Childish.

Jae finally turns his head to see your chest rising and falling way too fast to be normal. Swearing under his breath, he leans over the console, acting like he was wasting his energy to yank on the cable for you. You deny the urge to tug Jaehyun’s hands away to do it yourself, not wanting to break your own promise of not touching him.

It’s silent all the way to the freeway, where your insistent sighs finally make your boyfriend snap.

“Please stop sighing.”

“No, I’m mad at you.”

“Oh, you’re mad at me? That’s rich with how you were and are currently giving me the silent treatment.”

Your habit of biting would make your lip bleed at this point.

“Of course, I didn’t want to talk to you, when it seemed like if I opened my mouth, you would scold me for it. And why were you so fucking rude to that coat person? They were just helping me!”

It’s the first point of this entire fight that would set off everything else.

“I was not rude.”

You finally turn in your seat, shocked at how Jaehyun was denying his blatant behavior just several minutes ago.

“Are you joking? You’re that fucking possessive of me that you can be the only one to help me put a damn jacket on?”

Jaehyun lets out a shaky exhale, ticked off at your tone. His attempt to try and be calm is slowly deteriorating.

“That was not possessive. I wanted to put it on for you!”

“Really? You know— that is rich— thinking back to how you kept yelling at me for doing the smallest of things earlier.”

“I— I was not yelling at you, Y/N,” Jaehyun glances over at you, his knuckles turning white on the steering wheel, “I didn’t mean them that way—”

“What other way could you have meant them?” You’re raising your voice now, mad beyond relief, “You have no right to ever tell me to cross my legs or not to talk, or to stop having the humor to laugh at jokes!”

Jaehyun tries to cut you off but you don’t allow it.

“No matter whether or not you’re jealous, I will never allow you to stop me from being myself. Screw you.”

It’s quiet in the car again and you know you’ve left your boyfriend speechless, grasping at some way to counter back.

“After what I’ve told you about how annoying it is to get those comments, throughout my life, you just throwing out all that I’ve said about it and telling me to close my legs, oh my—” You stop yourself, arms crossed and now facing the window, “I cannot fucking believe you. I don’t give a shit about pleasing your damn ego and saying that I belong to you anymore.”

“Baby—”

“Don’t baby me. I’m done. I really might break if you try to explain yourself to me right now. Please save it.”

You turn on the radio station to drown out the silence in the car, not able to stand it. As much as you stood by what you just said, you don’t like putting down Jaehyun either. You knew he was such a loving, caring boyfriend that would never just toss away your actual limits to things but it didn’t seem that way back at the party.

By the time Jaehyun reaches your apartment’s underground garage, you’re stepping out in bare feet. The look of concern you get from Jaehyun in your peripheral makes your heart twist more and you two step into the elevator in a stifling tension.

The ride to the floor is silent. And getting into the apartment is silent, spare for Jaehyun unlocking the door and letting you walk in first. You have the manners to thank him for doing so, no matter how upset you were within.

Trudging to the bathroom, you begin to wipe at the makeup on your face, sad that you had spent so long getting ready and dolling up to only leave an hour and a half in. You’re biting your bare lips, now gone of red tint, to stop from having your throat tighten up.

Jaehyun steps into your bedroom’s bathroom, sulking like a kicked puppy. He watches your eyes glimmer in the mirror and the way you’re unwilling to make eye contact. You knew that if you did, the tears would finally fall and you would rather not show how affected you were with this argument.

The effort you’re putting in to not cry though makes Jaehyun’s expression even hollow, furious with himself for going so far. For asking you to not do things without good reason, for letting his unhealthy jealousy get to him, for ruining the one night you’ve been getting excited for since he had asked you to attend the dinner party with him.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.”

You’re afraid that if you open your mouth, it’ll betray how bothered you were with Jaehyun.

“Please say something. I don’t want to go to sleep mad at one another.”

You’re stubborn tonight, not giving in to the urge to hug him yet.

“I don’t either. Let me shower first.” You sigh, bare-faced now. With your hand on the knob, you close Jaehyun out and take a hot shower, scrubbing the night away.

Jaehyun sits at the edge of the bed facing the door, hair now all ruffled and out of place with the way he runs his hands through the strands. His tie felt suffocating, his suit jacket felt suffocating. He tugs both off and sets them aside on the accent chair you insisted the bedroom aesthetic needed.

He looks around the room and notes how much of you you’ve managed to create in his space. He had gotten this apartment four years ago, never thinking or even considering having another being set up their life in here too. And now he can’t imagine the trinkets and books and scattered bits of you not being here.

Every time you two fought with pettiness, Jaehyun knew what he was upset about was never worth losing you. Getting jealous because of how insecure he was of keeping you was never worth losing you for.

So when you finally step out of the bathroom, all soft and wet and mellow, Jaehyun dies to tug you into his arms. Keep you by his side. But you side-step him and walk to the closet for a nightgown.

“Shower first please.”

His heart cracks just a little more. You wanted to talk this out just as much as Jaehyun but you needed a bit more time to think more things through.

Jae takes the quickest shower he could manage and comes out to you sitting on the bed, playing with the threads of the mattress. He tugs a sleep shirt on and sweats on and then he’s catching you into his hold finally.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean to ruin the night.”

“I know.”

“I didn’t mean to take it too far either. I let my jealousy get a hold of me.”

You look up to him, big eyes with genuine confusion. “Jae, I would never up and leave you for someone else.”

“I know,” He tugs his chin into his neck, playing with your hands in your lap, “I know that. I didn’t think properly at the moment. And I also just got mad at how my superior was disrespecting you. Did you really not notice how he kept looking at you?”

His large palm lands to curl around the side of your face. “I did but, Jaehyun, you were right there. And I told you I didn’t care. Even if Johnny tried anything, you were right beside me. I’m not mad at you just because of that. If he was going too far, I also would have told him myself. I’m capable of it.”

Jaehyun hides his face inside your wet hair. “You’re right, you are. I wasn’t thinking deeply about those things I said either.”

“Say them to my face again. Right now.”

“Baby, no.”

“Exactly. I’m just proving a point. Just please… don’t do that again. It hurts.”

Jaehyun cradles your face into his chest, teary. “Okay, I’m sorry.”

“Please stop saying sorry. And do better, okay? And I’ll try my best too as well.” Your small voice is muffled in Jaehyun’s shirt and you grasp at the back of his black tee tighter.

“Okay, I’ll do better.”

“I’m sorry for being stubborn. And giving you the silent treatment. I got lost in my head thinking about what you were asking me to do. Just tell me when I’m doing it, okay? I’ll stop.”

Jaehyun wetly chuckles at your maturity, so thankful to have you as the anchor in his life.

“Okay, baby. I will,” He pulls your pouty face away from his body finally, cupping your cheeks and squishing them, “I am so damn lucky to have you.”

You grin, “Me too. Love you.”

His heart soars, the biggest smile overtaking Jaehyun’s face as well. “Say that again.”

Pulling out of his embrace, you shake your head, fondly exasperated. “You big, overgrown child.”

Jaehyun whines, tugging you back into his space. “Just one more time.”

You huff under your breath, “Love you.”

“Last one.” He chirps happily.

Laughing, you push at Jaehyun’s chest. He doesn’t budge an inch and your back hits the mattress as a result as you laugh breathlessly.

Jaehyun climbs over your form, adoration in his coffee-colored irises. “One more time, please.” His voice is low and you sink your hands in the hair at the nape of Jaehyun’s neck.

He brings his lips closer to yours and you whisper the words against his pillowy mouth. “Love you.”

Jaehyun seals his lips to yours with the two words uttered, an overwhelming need to showcase his own love to you through actions. His tongue pasts the seam of your mouth, licking in and breathing hot. You fall easily into his ministrations and let him take control of the night. His stomach sucks in at the submissiveness you ooze, pulling away to place his arms beside your head and lock his elbows.

His gaze locks onto your glazed eyes and puffy lips, heart lurching. “God, I am the one that belongs to you. I cannot believe you’re real.”

You turn away, embarrassed. “You can’t say those things so seriously.”

“It’s true,” Jaehyun whispers to kiss at your jaw, tilting your face up for more area to mark, “I love you so fucking much.”

Giggling, the sound twinkles in Jae’s ears and he savors it, hands tugging at your waist. He urges you to grind up into him and you do so without complaint. Jaehyun controls your movements and lifts your hips to his crotch.

Brushing the hair falling into his eyes, you savor the warmth in them. They crinkle at the intensity in which you stare into Jaehyun’s gaze, rarely seeing you get so quiet and attentive like this.

“You okay, darling?”

“Hm,” You hum, playing at the thin gold chain on his neck, “Just thinking.”

“About what?”

“Can you…” Your face flushes, the desire of playing out your request making your cheeks heat up.

“What, baby? I’ll do anything you want tonight.” Jaehyun kisses your nose and you scrunch your face at the feeling. His hands roam your sides, now under your short gown and on heated bare skin. He mumbles a low “Warm,” between your breasts, love drunk.

“Anything?” You clarify.

Jaehyun stills at that. “Well… most things. What do you have in mind?”

Biting your lip, you look to the ceiling. “Nevermind.”

He doesn’t waver. “No no, tell me. I won’t be mean.”

“Promise?”

Jaehyun smiles at your cuteness. “Yes, you big baby.”

You pick at your bottom row of teeth. “Can you… um, tie me up again?”

Your stupid boyfriend smirks. “I’ve tied you up many times before, darling. You’re gonna have to be a little more specific.”

Horrified at the comment, you slap on his chest lightly. “I mean like… you know, near last spring… finals week…”

“Uh-huh…” He tongues at his cheek, “Remind me again.”

He pretends to play oblivious with the silliest little smile pasted on, the natural dimples making his arrogant face look more teasing.

“Jae, please. I seriously cannot say these types of things when I’m not fully turned on, it’s embarrassing.”

Jaehyun falls onto your hair, laughing earnestly. “Why are you always so scared to say it? It’s only me!”

“I just said it’s embarrassing!”

He curls his arms around you again, tight hold on your torso. “You seemed to have no shame that day though. I know what you’re talking about.”

“Exactly my point. So don’t play dumb and pretend you don’t know what I’m saying then.”

Jaehyun presses his mouth to yours again, the grin he has on morphing the kiss into just a peck. “You’re so adorable. I can’t.”

“Please just get on with this then, no more talking.” With your whining, Jaehyun chuckles as you pull him closer to your chest.

Interlocking lips once more, the kisses get more passionate and you tug on his tee roughly. Jaehyun pleases you by allowing you to do the honors for him, his toned skin always a sight for sore eyes. You’re desperate, tugging at his drawstrings (for real this time).

As if he remembers suddenly, Jaehyun grabs onto your wrists and plants them above your head before finally leaving your bottom lip with a soft bite. Sitting down on his heels, he pulls unties the drawstrings out of his sweats and you quite literally salivate at his veins in his hands flexing.

Satisfying yourself, you rake your nails through that trail of his. Jaehyun shivers a little at the feeling, watching the molten desire in your irises grow tenfold.

“You’ve thought about this a lot, haven’t you?”

“Please just shut up.”

He squints down at you, watching your pelvis begin to move back and forth on his right thigh.

“You know, I would usually tell you to watch your mouth and call you a brat but it feels wrong tonight.”

You moan at the enticement, hating your contradictory ways. Just a little more than half an hour ago, you screamed at him and now you were directly being hypocritical.

Jaehyun grabs a hold of your neck, kissing you softly once more. “What do you want? Tell me, love.”

You gather your own hold of his large palm snaked around your neck, guiding him to squeeze just a bit more. “I want you.”

“Do you want my usual?” He’s being careful and you grin with an uplifted hum.

“Your wish is my command.”

With that done and said, Jaehyun pulls you to sit up and tuck your knees to your chest before rolling you over. A squeal later, you allow him to gather your arms to your back.

“Stay like that,” Jaehyun steps off the bed and gets something from a drawer, making your nerves spike. The drawstring was just there now, what was he going to go get?

Just as you’re about to remind him, you hear the snap of leather and instantly jump and stiffen. A belt.

Jaehyun runs the material over the skin of your back, watching goosebumps rise along your skin in satisfaction.

“Color?” He takes the tip down closer to your clothed core and you clench at the feeling.

“Green, green.” Your breathless reply is slightly muffled from the way your cheek is smushed into the sheets.

Instead of wrapping the belt around your wrists though, they curl around just below your biceps, above your elbows, and loop behind your back, just tight enough to keep them in a good position. You’re still bound but can easily move your forearms around.

“Too tight?”

“No, it’s good.” You attempt to reach for Jaehyun’s palm splayed out on your lower back and it stretches your muscles. Falling back on the action, you abandon the effort to not get a cramp.

He swipes your hair over your shoulder and repositions you easily, lifting your legs to hike your hips up higher. Jaehyun reaches your clit, already swollen and ready to be stimulated, gently brushing against the nub over your underwear.

His abdomen stiffens at the sounds you make, so shaky and uncontrollable. Jaehyun wishes he could record it and play it back in his head whenever he wanted to.

“I’ll be nice tonight. How does that sound, doll?” Two fingers spread your lips, “Good?”

You grunt in reply, rearing your butt towards Jaehyun’s touch. What you don’t realize is that Jaehyun’s face is there and you bump your clit on his nose.

“Want me to eat you out?”

“Fuck, please Jae. Anything, at this point—” Before you can say more, he suctions his lips around your clit and flicks at it with his tongue through the fabric. Writhing at the pleasure, you die to dig your hands into Jaehyun’s wet mop of hair. Your toes curl and fingernails pinch at the skin of your palms, a cry pushing past your lips before you can help it.

Jaehyun hauls your flimsy excuse of underwear down your legs, not taking the time to hook them off your bottom half all the way before placing the flat on his pink muscle on your lips, thrusting shallowly into your sopping cunt while he massages at the meat of your ass. You can feel your heartbeat in your throat and permitting yourself to drown in how good it feels, your back slackens before your body sinks into the mattress further.

He doesn’t grant you any reprieve, roughly yanking at your hips to bury his tongue further within your clenching walls. He groans like a man starved as a sharp slap lands on one buttcheek, soothing the burn after by skimming over the newly irritated skin. His expert thumb begins rubbing at your clit, adamant on making you cum from his attentive care.

Your begs rise into a high-pitch, breathing heavy. Jaehyun’s long arms inch under the hem of your nightgown to tweak at your stiffened nipples, perk and sensitive at the touch. Your severe problem of always moving too much harshly causes Jaehyun to jerk back from your center. You moan at the loss of contact.

“Baby, behave before I make you, you hear me?”

“I was getting close, Jae!”

“No attitude. I don’t wanna punish you right now.”

You smirk out of breath, knowing Jaehyun will hear the enticement in your words. “If it’ll make you make me cum faster, fuck it.”

A tight grip wraps around your throat again and you shudder, loving the snugness of the action. It felt natural to have his hand there, so in control of the way you suck in air.

“You’re testing me.”

“And?”

You immediately regret your scoff of misconduct, the other cheek he hadn’t harmed earlier, even worse with a sting than the first.

“I honestly believe you like me treating you like this,” Jaehyun whispers, climbing over your vulnerable figure and in contrast to his unrestrained discipline just seconds ago, languidly grasping at your hair, “Don’t you? You like me, making you wet from the way I do?”

The gentle fingers that were combing in your hair tangle into an unyielding fist in a flash, forcefully twisting your face in the opposite direction from before. Jaehyun bends close to your heated face, the amusement at your quietness obvious in his curled lips.

“Gosh… I can’t wait to fuck you into this mattress.” He emphasizes his point by bucking his hips forward and you can feel the hard length through his sweats at your sopping center. You swallow down the moan digging up to your lips.

“Why so silent suddenly? Finally want to be a good girl and listen?”

The last sentence makes you grit your teeth. “No, not anymore really.”

“Fine,” The tone is final. Jaehyun gets out of your space, running his pointer finger down your spine. “All fine by me.”

Your mind turns at that, confused. You can’t predict what Jae will do next and can’t see well from how you’re positioned. From a guess, Jaehyun has pulled off his sweats at last.

You instinctively push at the pressure Jaehyun places on your core, swiping through your wetness only to retract a second later. Reminded of your stubborn hold on misbehaving tonight, you still your bottom from desperately bumping back.

He shifts to kneel right in your eye’s view on the bed, skin a glow from the lamplight on your bed stand. Jaehyun runs a haphazard hand through his damp hair while the other holds his hard member. Your stomach sucks in at the appetizing sight, eyes glued to the way his dick twitches.

His tight hold of your chin places enough strength in it to heave your upper half from the bed. Jae’s thumb pushes past your closed lips forcefully and then fights past your clenched teeth to plunge three fingers into the tight expanse of your mouth.

You whimper in complaint, his blunt nails scratching at your tongue to produce more saliva. Once satisfied, Jaehyun takes his now-soaked fingertips out, easing your jaw and humming. Thumbing at his blushing red tip with your saliva, he pinches your cheeks and pouts mockingly.

“Since you were so impatient, you’re going to have to wait a little longer now. How does that sound?”

Now you genuinely whine, helplessly watching as he lubricates himself with your spit and starts pumping with a firm clutch and loose wrist. Jaehyun throws his head back, eyes lidded and thick neck showcased.

Your fingers physically wiggle in the complaint. You can only hold yourself back for so long. The groan of gratification that escapes Jaehyun has you break in resolve, unable to handle watching this.

“Jae, please!”

He laughs with the hottest smile on. It sounds so damn attractive, you tremble. “No, I don’t give a shit. Just lay there with your needy cunt in the air and watch me.”

“Please, no. No no, you said you’d be nice.” Fighting to inch closer, at last, Jaehyun looks down at you and pushes hair away from your pained face.

“Color?”

“Green, Jae. Fuck.”

“You want me to be nice?”

Nodding resolutely, your mewl does little to deter Jaehyun from still jerking off. He licks at his lower lip, in dire need to compete with your strong will.

“Then beg.”

Huffing, you close your eyes. “Please.”

“Do better.”

The slick sounds of his hand moving on his member have your walls clenching down on nothing.

“Please, Jae. Please.”

“God, I wanna paint that pretty face of yours.” Your eyes are getting wet from how desperate you are.

Ass wriggling in the air, you sob out, “I can’t stand it anymore, Jae, I swear if you don’t fucking do something right now—!”

He chuckles and takes his hand away from his dick. Going down to plant a peck on your raw-bitten lips, Jaehyun gives into your commands without any more delays.

“So needy, my girl.”

Your thighs shake in anticipation, warm hands enveloping your waist and tugging it flush to Jaehyun’s stiff member. He ruts between your legs, bumping into your sensitive clit. You can’t hide your yearning anymore, moaning from the simplicity of being touched anywhere near your core again.

Jaehyun seizes the bottom of your thin gown, wrinkling it in his journey to shove it up to your armpits. You clamp down on the light silk material for Jaehyun to roam your breasts easier. Your shared moans of gratification at his tip catching on your entrance forces your butt to ram back.

“I gotta prepare you first, darling, relax for a second,” Jaehyun mutters breathless, quickly playing with your wetness now.

“No, no, I’m good. Please, Jae, I need you right now. Green, green, green.” You couldn’t care less how whiney you sounded anymore.

He sinks a finger into your hot walls and instantly starts pumping in and out, groaning obscenely at the temperature and feeling his balls tighten.

“I can’t, I’ll hurt you.”

“I couldn't care less right now, baby, please. Green!”

Jaehyun adds another finger, curling and scissoring to make sure. The whimpers flying out your mouth work in combination with the signature hard quivering of your entire body. From being held on the edge for so long, he isn’t surprised you’re on the cusp of an orgasm.

“I’m so close, Jae, I can’t—”

Rocking fast in tandem with Jaehyun’s thrusting hand, you come hard, moaning long into the sheets and drooling. You barely register Jaehyun retracting from your insanely tight pussy, only to replace his long fingers with his round tip.

Shoving past your clenched entrance, you’re worked into oversensitivity, edging on delicious pain and pleasure as Jaehyun knocks his way into you. Meek noises spill past your mouth, fully heard as soon as Jaehyun roughly tugs at the belt locking your biceps back. You’re lifted off the mattress as Jaehyun leans back, using his weight to drive back into your spasming walls with force.

Breathless as he curses, his other free hand that gripped your left hip goes to yank at your hair. Jaehyun prods at a spot he’s never reached before and you jerk at the sensation, vocal cords being ripped to shreds at the noises you’re making.

Unable to handle the position anymore, Jaehyun forces your front to lay flat, practically mounting you as he kneels on the bed. He digs his hand to position under your belly while the other arm’s elbow locks beside your head.

He knocks at your chin to mouth at your shoulder, the guttural growl that sounds out just at your ear has your cunt tightening.

“Fuck, I can feel myself, right here,” Jaehyun pushes up at your soft belly, placing pressure on his cock working in and out of you. He whispers his next sentence but you catch it easily.

“Wanna knock you up so damn bad.”

The words make you cry out and you abandon your laxness, pushing your ass up to meet Jaehyun now.

“Oh, you want that? Hm? You want me to fill you up, stuff you full?”

You curse, nodding your head because no sensible words will come out from how well you’re being pounded. Jaehyun spreads your cheeks, pulling away from your upper half to work into you faster and chase his high.

With a drawn-out groan, he releases into you, slowly easing out as he goes and pumps himself of everything he has. Jaehyun paints your pussy with his final spurt, collapsing with only his upper half on the sheets to watch you ooze out his essence.

“Holy… fucking shit, I love you.”

You’re too tired to even reply, kicking your calves in the air and spreading your thighs at the command of Jaehyun. At his prodding this time, you utter, “Yellow,” pulling Jaehyun’s hand away from your puffy cunt.

“You okay, love?” Jaehyun throws himself while catching his breath on the bed, laying beside you as he undoes the belt with haste. You spread your arms at freedom, tiredly rubbing at the red spots created from the belt.

“Baby?” Jae tilts up in concern.

“Oh, sorry. Yes, I’m okay, sorry.” He runs up to kiss your mouth, while at it, tugging at your waist and laying you down on top of his chest.

He’s rubbing his cheek against yours, placing the softest kisses on every inch of your face in adoration. You giggle at the sensation of one on your nose again, eyes closed but feeling the way Jaehyun grins broadly at the sound.

“Can you say it one more time? One more?”

His voice is deep but oh so light; you smile and open your eyelids to absorb Jaehyun’s plea properly.

“You gonna keep making me reiterate myself so much?”

Jaehyun nods cutely. Landing a long, loving kiss on his plush lips, you tell him again. You’ve told him and will tell him for as long as you will live:

“I love you.”

#happy birthday to valentine boy <3 #jaehyun #nct jaehyun #nct 127 #nct u #nct 2021 #jaehyun fic #jaehyun fanfic #jaehyun smut #jaehyun imagine #repetition #reiteration #jung jaehyun #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun angst #jaehyun reactions #jaehyun fanfiction #nct smut

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ddarker-dreams · 3 years

Text

Epiphany. Yan Albedo x Reader

Warnings: General yandere themes, implied unhappy previous relationship, and spoilers for Albedo’s story. Word count: 2k.

It wasn’t fair.

A snowstorm, unlike anything you’ve ever seen rages outside, shards of lustrous ice falling from the sky with the intent to kill. The Dragonspine’s traditionally somber ambiance contorts into something far more sinister. Numerous hues of grays and dark blues blur together, obscuring your view of the mountainous region. It’s difficult to see anything outside Albedo’s workshop save for the storm.

“Your shaking won’t stop unless you sit by the fire.”

His matter-of-fact declaration startles you. Albedo hadn’t spoken in some time, his attention devoted to a specimen he had discovered prior to the storm. You would’ve shared in his enthusiasm if not for the overall situation and company. Sighing reluctantly, you stand from your spot, hugging yourself to stave off the biting cold. It’s impossible to settle on which is worse: staring at the blizzard or staring at him.

Albedo’s fair skin glows from the light of the crackling fire, sandy blonde hair tousled around his face without care. As he studies the new specimen, his lips purse, eyes focusing on nothing but the work before him, like nothing else mattered. This is how you’ve always known him to be. Even if the world was falling apart around him, Albedo would never falter from what catches his interest until he felt sated.

Sensing how you’re fixating on him, his attention flickers briefly to you, an unidentifiable emotion gleaming in his eyes. You’re the one to avert your gaze first. Sucrose is going to owe you majorly for this one, why did you even accept her request in the first place? Thinking about it now and cursing your past self does nothing yet you still occupy the time by doing just that. She had come to you panicked, pleading that you take this letter to Albedo in the Dragonspine, claiming it’s urgent. In the heat of the moment, your judgment lapsed and you caved. She spoke of needing to continue her research in Mondstadt or else she would’ve done it herself.

Look where your goodwill has gotten you now, you think. She owes me a week’s worth of dinner.

You lament giving credence to his advice, but your stubbornness concedes, the cold too miserable to withstand any longer. The fire is right by his side to add insult to injury. Did he do that on purpose to spite you? It’s unlikely, yet your mind wanders to the worst-case scenario. If any other citizen of Mondstadt were privy to your suspicious thoughts, they’d think you unreasonable, as Albedo has established his reputation well. He’s a known eccentric, sure, but a genius one. A few quirks on his behalf that anyone else could overlook.

Quirks that you used to overlook yourself.

“Would you please grab my bag,” he doesn’t look away from his prized sample but motions to the general area it’s in. “I need to write down my observations.”

You follow through with what he asks. There was a time you’d have been over the moon to participate in his process, you used to practically trip over yourself to do anything he needed. That enthusiasm has long died off and been replaced by apathy. It’s when he reaches out to take the bag from you that you snap from your trance-like reverie. Whatever remnants of obedience that lingered in your subconscious are brushed away, as you decide to finally challenge him.

Inhaling sharply, you hold the bag just out of his reach, finally earning his recognition for more than a millisecond.

“I’m not your assistant anymore.” Among other things, you think.

The words come out more childish than you intended. What you had meant to communicate was your new, critical view on him — he’s a person just the same as anyone else — who held no authority over you. You hold your breath awaiting his response. Albedo doesn’t have an intimidating presence, not in the traditional sense. It’s his mind that you’re wary of. There’s no guessing what sentiments run through his head, yet that’s never stopped you from trying to unravel the mystery that is his thought process.

He gives you a long, hard stare. “I’m aware of that.”

Where were you going with this again? Albedo doesn’t need to point out your needlessly spiteful behavior with words, his mildly irate facial expression says it just fine. His thin eyebrows threaten to furrow together and the corners of his lips curl down into a frown. You’re unsure of what bothers him more. What you pointed out, or that his work is being interrupted for even the slightest moment.

The budding confidence you had is all but crushed beneath the weight of his unblinking gaze. Clearing your throat, you decide to take a new approach, straightening your posture in an attempt to be taken more seriously.

“Then tell me, why do you still act like I am?” Your question comes from a genuine place of confusion. Ever since your arrival, you’ve begrudgingly done the odds and ends he’s asked of you, almost like clockwork. You had fallen back into the rhythm that was your life up until a month ago. There was just something about the silent authority he carries that makes it impossible to say no.

That is, until now. You’re determined to clear up the problems that have plagued your mind. Albedo’s had his time to be nonchalant like nothing happened between you two, but you’re not having it anymore.

“Force of habit,” he nods his head towards your hand that holds his possessions captive. “Now, would you please…?”

Your grip tightens and you shake your head defiantly. “No. Or at least, not until you give me a better explanation. Not just about that. How you act in general… none of it makes sense to me.”

It wouldn’t take much effort from his half to wrangle his bag from you, you’ve seen him in action before after all, so it comes as a surprise when he instead gives in. You blink, gaping when he takes a seat by the roaring fire, and motions for you to do the same. An opportunity like this is hard to come by. The past few weeks, it’s been your code of conduct to avoid any interaction with Albedo, but your frustration can no longer be repressed.

You take a seat by his side but intentionally leave some distance.

There’s so much you want to say. Insults, questions, demands, anything. Anything that could give just a hint of closure that he refused to offer himself. It doesn’t help that this familiar area brings memories with it — good and bad alike — painful nostalgia eating away at your heart from the inside out. While you battle with your inner thoughts, he observes you in silence. For a time you hear nothing but the crackling of the fire and wind howling outside.

Finding the courage to speak up, your throat tightens as you force a question out. “Did I… mean so little to you?”

It’s rare that Albedo ever looks taken aback, but your inquiry managed to do just that. His eyes widen ever so slightly, confusion etching onto his face before he manages to compose himself. Lots of intimate discussions had gone this way. You’d spend hours prepping yourself, meticulously going over what it was you wanted to say, only for the words to die on your tongue when you saw him.

“I don’t understand what you mean.” He appears genuinely perplexed and you can’t help but feel silly. It may have served you better to think long about this, you realize, but now it’s too late. You rush to explain yourself in hopes of making better sense.

“When I said I wanted to, er, part ways,” you can’t help but cringe at not knowing the proper label for ending whatever was going on between you two, “You just seemed, I don’t know, indifferent…?”

In your head, this went down in such a different way.

Your cheeks are set ablaze by the humiliation his silence brings. It’s not the first time you’ve felt this exact way when bringing up your feelings to Albedo, yet it’s just as awful. Archons, does he always have to look at you like you have three heads?

When he finally gives you an answer, you wish you had never asked.

“I knew you would come back to me eventually.”

Now it’s your turn to give him an incredulous look. He says it without an ounce of hesitation, never once breaking eye contact, his resolve holding firm. Sensing a need to clarify, he attempts to do just that.

“I considered a variety of variables,” he raises his hand and brushes his knuckles over your face, the unexpected tenderness making you shiver. “I know how your mind works very well. When you told me that’s what you wanted, your physical mannerisms didn’t line up with what you were saying.”

Your heart drops but he doesn’t stop there.

“Biological responses never lie. It wasn’t anxiety that kept you from looking me in the eye then, it was reasonable doubt. You know it as well as I do. There’s something about me that you can’t place, and the natural human response to the unknown is caution.”

He stops caressing your cheek. “So, tell me [First], and maybe then you’ll reach the conclusion you’ve been searching for. Why are you afraid of me?”

Everything feels wrong. How he’s whispering such horrifying ideas into your mind, leading the conversation with expertise. Is it charisma? You don’t think that’s the proper word. No, it’s how damn certain he is, how he never once leaves room for argument.

Albedo appraises your silence coldly.

“See? You’re not sure yourself. Thus why I knew you’d return to me,” he retracts his hand and leans back, but the ghost of his touch leaves your face tingling. “When you don’t understand something, you study it. That’s who you are. It’s why I picked you to be my assistant, that quality of exhausting curiosity, much like the one I have myself.”

He’s hypnotizing you with his words, his even tone, his silent authority. You’re drawn in like a moth to a flame and trapped in a verbal standoff. Whether it was a result of your Vision flickering subconsciously resulting in the fire diminishing or some other cause, you realize what little warmth in the cave is disappearing, your breath materializing in front of you as a result.

But it’s only yours.

That’s when it clicks deep inside the recesses of your mind. Apart of what always bothered you about Albedo was this sense of uncanniness. Whenever you thought you were understanding him better, new mysteries would arise, leaving you worse off than when you started. This combined with his workload and the emotional distance you felt between the two of you is what led to your separation.

Albedo’s face is but a few inches away from yours. He’s patiently awaiting a response or anything you could muster to challenge him with, though both of you are aware that no such thing exists.

You manage to surprise him again by asking another question. “Why… why are you not breathing?”

And how could you never have noticed until now?

His long eyelashes flutter shut. “Relationships truly are troublesome. There are unspoken rules and expectations, both of which take effort to satisfy. I hadn’t mind trying to do so to keep you happy, but that approach didn’t work as intended.”

Had it not been for the hammering of your heart and how lighthearted you feel, you’d challenge him on his definition of trying. Instead, you watch without so much as moving an inch, too in awe to utter a single word.

“You always asked me to be more romantic, but I guess the phrase you take my breath away won’t suffice here,” he sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “I’ll tell you, but once you know… well, I don’t think I can ever let you leave my side.”

“I hope you won’t mind keeping me company a bit longer than you intended to.”

#albedo #albedo x reader #yandere albedo x reader #genshin impact #albedo genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact imagine #yandere genshin impact #yandere #yandere x reader #my stuff

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whosscruffylooking · 3 years

Text

The Purest Things-First Day Jitters (Aaron Hotchner x Female Reader)

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: None.

A/N: There will be a Part 2 to this piece based on S3E10 in order to give some groundwork to the dynamics amongst the team once the reader joins them. Enjoy reading! I had so much fun making this piece.

The Purest Things Masterlist

au! october 2007

"Criminal profiling is more of an art than a science. Modeling a criminal profile demands the precise marrying of psychological and rational instincts with the crime scene's particulars. What steps would you take in the process of analyzing a suspect to form a solid profile," the stoic BAU Section Cheif asks.

"First, I would want to accumulate all attainable information about the crime to help explain the "how" and "why" of the offense," you counter.

"What kind of information?"

"I'd want to acquire knowledge on the victim to examine the victimology. For example, I'd determine the victim's career and place of employment, friends, family, social status, criminal records, and daily routines and habits. Then, I can look at the connection between the victim and the unidentified subject. Did they know each other, or are they strangers? Why was the victim targeted, and was it them specifically, or are they just one quarry in a tangled web of attacks?"

You look for some signal in Cheif Strauss's attitude as to whether or not you should continue.

Let’s ramp this up a notch.

Taking the liberty of doing so regardless, you continue.

"Then, I want to know more about the attacker. I want to classify him...or her, as well as the offense. Why did it take place at a specific location? What is the motive? Is the suspect an amateur or a professional? This collection of data helps to assemble a proper crime assessment. I can now paint the picture of what happened before, during, and after the attack. Next, I can start to hypothesize and formulate a complete profile; I can deduce the kind of person we are dealing with. This assessment includes the age range, social status, what type of career he or she may hold, their I.Q., anything that describes the attacker. Now, I can give the profile to investigators and work to capture the assailant. The profile not only helps track him down but also helps refine the interrogation process."

Pausing the video recording, David sets the remote on the table.

"Academically, she's perfect for the job, Aaron. But will she fit in with the team? She seems too well trained, too straight from the textbook."

"That's why I wanted you to see this next part."

They both watch you in expectation.

"If I may Section Chief Strauss...as much as academic training benefits a student in laying the foundations for their selected career field, all of the studying and laboring over perfect grades becomes virtually obsolete once on the job. Instead, implementing the mechanics and learning through experience, trial, and error is far more beneficial. Executing what you've learned in the real world and refining your expertise in the field is the only way to accurately reveal whether or not you are capable of doing your job."

Rossi snickers at your straightforwardness. Aaron crosses his arms, struggling to fight back the urge to smile.

"Care to expound on that?" Strauss proposes.

"You don't trust the current...organization within the BAU. You feel as though Unit Cheif Hotchner and his team pose a threat to the unit. However, I think you put more emphasis on the chain of command. Specifically, you don't trust Agent Hotchner. In the entirety of this vetting process, you have continually undermined the Unit Chief's role in selecting a new agent. He has not been included in any of our telephone calls. Never once have you cc'd him on our emails. Nor has he been invited to sit in on our in-person interviews. I think the only time I've set eyes on him was in the lobby. He seemed to be completely unaware of my presence and purpose here. I'm sure that were I to be hired TodayToday, I could walk right into his office, and he would be blindsided entirely by my arrival and position on the team. Now, if I am to be apart of this renowned group of individuals, I want to know that I will be a part of it. I do not intend to be an outsider in my field or a pawn for higher-ups' ulterior motives. So, with all due respect Cheif Strauss, I would like to withdraw my application. If any of the aspects that I have touched on prove true and impact my role within this unit, I have no interest in undermining an established team that has no place for me."

Rossi claps Aaron on the shoulder, "She'll do just fine."

**********

You step inside the lobby of the FBI Academy. Although the sight is not new to you after your intense vetting process, it now takes on a new meaning. You have a new purpose. Processing your surroundings, you regard the entryway's clean efficiency. Considering the darkness that looms over this bureau, the lobby is welcoming all the same.

So this is what my tax dollars have been paying for.

Noticing that an elevator has arrived, you call out to the person inside one of the many lifts. They hold it open for you. The sound of your clipping heels progresses as you run across the glossy tile floor. High heels may not seem like the most logical choice for your first day of work in the FBI, but when wearing them, you feel elevated. As if the world is your stage and you are the ballerina dazzling the crowd in her pointe shoes. Sure, they are uncomfortable at times, but wearing them can almost be considered a superpower. A quintessential accessory of the iconic femme fatale.

The woman in the elevator gasps as you climb on board, startling slightly.

"Are those Jimmy Choos?" She squeals.

You laugh and shake your head, peering down at the patent leather footwear, "No. I wish, though! They're just some old Steve Madden's I got on the clearance racks." Seeing her shoes, you imitate her enthusiasm, "Those are unique! I've never seen a green...quite that color on shoes before."

Chuckling, she thanks you, "Shoes are one of the many ways I express myself. I'm pretty sure at this point I have a pair of shoes in every color for every mood. Today I was feeling a little envious, so I chose this lime green."

"Envious?" You ask.

"There is a Doctor Who convention going on this weekend, and I have meet and greet tickets for the entire cast, but I've been called in on a case. Meanwhile, three of my friends from counterterrorism are on their way to meet David Tennant as we speak. So yes, I am envious."

"Oh my gosh, I heard about that! Catherin Tate is going to be there too. God, what I would give to meet Donna Nobel in the flesh."

"You watch Doctor Who?" Her eyes widen.

You shrug my shoulders, "I'm a bit of a self-proclaimed Whovian."

Shoving her bags underneath her shoulders to free her hands, she stretches them to you, "Penelope Garcia. We are going to be the best of friends."

Taking her hand in yours, you introduce yourself, "I'm Y/F/N/ Y/L/N. I look forward to having a best friend in the building. Today is my first day."

"Oh sweetie, you are going to do amazing," she looks up at the floor number as the elevator dings, "Well, this is my stop."

Stepping off alongside her, you notice her slight surprise. "Mine too," you announce proudly.

"Wait," she whispers, holding a hand up to your face in a stopping motion, "Today is your first day. Oh! Are you the newbie?"

"Today is my first day as a profiler at the BAU, yes."

Stomping her feet repeatedly, she cheers, "Oh, this day keeps getting better! My darling, you will fit in just fine. Now come with me. There's another fellow Whovian I'd like for you to meet."

Following her through the enormous glass doors and into the department, you can't help but feel slightly overwhelmed by the hustle and bustle. "Welcome to the bullpen," she turns around, beaming, "Oh! Spencer, come hither, the new girl is here!"

The young man spins around in his chair and raises his eyebrows, giving you a once-over; he strolls across the office to meet you. You can't tell if he is too tall or too thin. Perhaps, his head is just considerably big for his body, or his lengthy hair gives that illusion. When he nods at you, holding his hand out to greet you, he looks slightly like a little bobble-head doll.

"Dr. Spencer Reid at your service!" He melodically sings.

Nerdy pipe cleaner. I like him.

"It's a pleasure, Dr. Reid. I'm Y/F/N Y/L/N."

"I read you got a full ride through college and graduated from Berkley with a semester completed at the University of Kent for Psychology of Criminal Justice, and you have a degree in Forensic Psychology."

You nod, impressed by his research—time to dazzle him with yours.

"And you, Dr. Reid, attended Caltech. You completed your undergraduate degree at 16, and you hold Bachelor's degrees in Psychology, Sociology, and Philosophy. Very impressive."

"You forgot PhDs in Mathematics, Chemistry, and Engineering," he adds.

You nod, "My apologies."

Breaking a tiny smile, he shifts his gaze to the floor as you notice the light tint of pink shading his cheeks. Unable to resist, you feel the heat rise to yours as well.

"Ah! You must be our newest recruit—Benvenuto nell'esperienza della tua vita," a gentle voice echoes from behind you.

Turning around, you see a familiar-looking, dapperly dressed older gentlemen gliding down the stairs to greet you.

"And you are Agent David Rossi. I attended one of your guest lectures at Berkley three years ago," you reach your hand out to meet his.

"Call me Dave, and you can thank me for inspiring your career choice later. Right now, we have a case. It looks like it'll be a first day via baptism by fire for you kiddo," he lifts his thick eyebrows and winks at you. David motions for you to follow his lead, and you eagerly journey behind him.

In the conference room, you are met with the eager faces of four other new colleagues. The first to catch your eye is the herculean adonis, whose attention fixates on you. You watch as his eyes scour you top to bottom, taking your whole body in.

Four words. Sculpted by the gods. Where has he been all my life?

"Where have you been all my life?" The statuesque man purrs, running his thumb across his bottom lip.

Ha. Jinx. You can buy me a drink anytime.

"Hiding from men who lead an introduction with that," you strut over to shake his hand. A knot swirls in your stomach as your finger-tips touch, but you quickly dismiss it as mere infatuation.

Throwing his head back in laughter, he responds, "I like you already. Derek Morgan."

"It's nice to see you again," the bright, blue-eyed young woman you recognized as the media liaison smiles, "I'm Jennifer Jareau, but you can call me J.J." On the day of your first interview with Strauss, she offered you directions to the Section Chief's office.

Next, Agent Prentiss introduces herself. Her thick, raven-colored hair elegantly falls to her shoulders and encompasses her diamond-shaped face. There is a spirited as well as clever expression in her eyes.

Finally, Agent Hotchner stands up. You are taken aback by his astute and severe manner. He's taller than you recall, although you have only observed him from afar. Like most men, he seems to have become an automaton of the modern workplace, measured and valued just for his productivity and obedience. He is tense, most likely swallowing intense trauma and concealing it so he can get up each day and do the same tedious job again and again. Most men display these traits in the way they parent, becoming domineering companions, stacking decay over destruction until their home-life collapses. What remains is a mass of bitterness resentment.

Yet, he exhibits none of this. Beneath this rather tough exterior, you can discern that he is the kind of handsome that infiltrates your bones, that exudes an air of olden times before he's even said a word to you.

Tag List:

@chellybear98 @destiny-tsukino @wanniiieeee @sweetiecake180 @vampiracontessa @weexinling @spaghetti-dad187 @hothskies @star-stuff-in-the-cosmos @mac99martin @clairedragonessbaker @cecemariee7302 @halloweenwithreid @megans-txmblr @theoldestguard @purpledragonturtles @chazubagi @frogrrylovebot @agentaaronhotass @obsssedwithjustaboutanything @mcntsee @ssagube @softhetixx @kenzies-mr-j @peachyotps @cat11-2 @prettylittlemoonlight @ravenmoore14 @gubs-boobs @spencerreidsoulmate

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phoenixtakaramono · 3 years

Note

So I'm here to say that I really love your Bingyuan fic! The research you do for it and share with us is just amazing! I also have a q regarding LBG. From SV we know that he felt admiration for his Shizun so do you think that if SJ wasn't cruel to him LBG's admiration would've grown into love and attraction like it did in LBH's case for SY? Which then also raises a question: would LBH/LBG fall in love with any Shizun who was kind to him? Or was he just drawn to SJ's type of personality. WDYT?

Hi there, Anon! I’m glad you’re liking the Untold Tale! Thanks for reading! I think it lowkey helps when the story I’m writing (in general) is from a culture I’m familiar with and that I know some of its language nuances (just general Mainland dialect; I’m unfamiliar with Shanghainese, the Beijing dialect, etc etc). So fortunately for me, as someone who is Chinese but was born in the Western side of the world speaking Mandarin to family and friends, emulating the Chinese aesthetic and atmosphere in TUT comes a little bit easier to me than someone who did not grow up with this culture. I bet if I had been raised in China, I would be able to write something even more multilayered and deep but, alas, the youthful rebellious me of the past hadn’t taken my pinyin and Chinese character writing lessons seriously so I can only communicate verbally and understand audibly 😫. It’s very special for us writers in fandoms to be able to write a story of a culture that we actually know and can identify with. But high key it’s been immensely fun injecting some references of things I’ve come to notice from watching period C-dramas and the C-novels I’ve read, and I’ve come to learn interesting things about Chinese history and mythology even I didn’t know! So the story really writes itself.

Shen Jiu (OG!Shen Qingqiu)

To answer your question 🤔, to be honest this is why the SVSSS fandom is great—because there’s so many interpretations of the original source material. That’s why we have our headcanons and fanfictions to explore these many different possibilities. So for me personally, I can see it happening both ways: *1) LBG does develop a crush/falls in love with SJ, or 2) no matter how SJ treats him LBG regards him respectfully or coldly. I think Possibility 1 is more likely, since SY transmigrated into SQQ and we saw what happened with “Bunhe.”

Now, mind, for Possibility 1 to be more likely to happen, the SJ in PIDW will have to undergo a massive personality change/ a change of heart/ develop a good conscience and will need to clean up his image aka clear up the massive misunderstandings from PIDW canon (like him being mistaken as a pervert for Ning Yingying, visiting whorehouses, killing LQG, etc). It’ll be difficult though considering who Airplane has changed SJ into for his stallion harem novel (reading through SVSSS, my impression of PIDW besides it being the harem stallion novel is that it sounds similar to a “dog blood plot,” where audiences tune in to see how the villains are brought to justice). I literally have a line from TUT in a future chapter where SY says this about SJ since I will resurrect SJ and bring him into the story for closure:

People like Shen Qingqiu naturally had a set of deeply-rooted values. If one wanted to change them, it’d be easier to just have them reincarnate. (—TUT, ch???)

At his core, he’s a flawed man (which makes sense with the underlying cycle of abuse theory, considering his upbringing and backstory). He’s jealous and petty and prickly. His image is that of a proud and cold immortal. In Chinese terms, he’s the type of character archtype who I can see being àojiāo (definitely not canon characterization; this is just a stray thought that amuses me) in a romantic relationship.

LBH will have to recognize that^, or be in a position where he finds SJ’s caustic side endearing instead. He will also have to be extremely patient with him (although, since the joke in SVSSS is that LBH is an incurable M, it shouldn’t be that hard).

A fun thing about OG!SQQ is that he’s the cannon fodder scumbag villain of PIDW. He’s the reason LBG blackened from a white lotus. And, as you know, villains aka antagonists aka bad boys resonate strongly with people for a reason. That’s why we see a lot of Enemies to Lovers tropes, etc. It squicks me to use this phrase but “the allure of dating a ‘bad boy’ is strong.” SJ is that type of bad boy we could identify as a “fixer-upper project” (ugh, that phrase)—even with the red flags and warning signs—especially for those said to have a troubled past with rejecting neglectful parental figures/ family members/ friends and have have not outgrown their wish to convert that sort of person into a loving, accepting person. When we want something we can’t or shouldn’t have, our desire for it grows exponentially. In fanfiction this is a concept writers and readers can explore safely in a world of the imaginary.

From a Meta Perspective

Although, if we look at it meta-ly, the cold and proud and/or knowledgeable Shizun (teacher/ master) character who comes to know love and “is redeemed” by whomever is the love interest (typically a cute and quirky girl who may or may not have started off as naive to the innerworkings of the Cultivation World and therefore needs an established and mature mentor to guide them) is a very well-known archetype for a reason in Chinese fan culture.

Seeing a terrible person change their ways and try to become a better person because of the influence of the one they love is also a popular depiction for a reason.

It’s almost like gap moe. The crueler and aloof one starts out as (arrogance is a staple), the more impactful the shift is when we see such characters soften their edges.

The draw of the sacred master/disciple relationship is that it’s taboo, so I think it’s fair to say that such a relationship in fiction is a popular trope precisely because of this aspect. From a writer’s perspective, the main appeal is to show that there is someone out there who can cause this respectful figure to lose control (undergo emotional change) and go to great lengths to protect his/her precious person. That precious person also has to fall into the “not like other girls” trope (so they can show the ML a different world he would not have seen the beauty of before). On the other side, we look forward to the point of the story where the love interest has their “Oh” moment and realizes their admiration has somehow shifted into love and attraction over the course of events.

Other Romantic Possibilities

It’s very likely. I personally like the fanon headcanon where anyone with Heavenly Demon blood running through their veins feels a compulsion to “obsessively fixate on one person” (TLJ —> SXY, LBH —> SQQ). Personally I don’t recall if this was canon or fanon, but someone had written something about LBH imprinting on one person in his lifetime on the account of his demon nature. And I like that theory (I think it’s likely more fanon than anything but it’s an intriguing idea full of possibilities!).

For him to fixate romantically on one person, I personally don’t think the prerequisite is just by being kind to LBH (but it probably adds to the person’s appeal). There’s probably other factors that go into this to capture the male protagonist’s eye, such as him finding someone attractive (or passes his own personal standards) and/or having good chemistry with that person. So I could see him being into other Shizuns and whomever else. Personally I also think there is appeal in the unobtainable. It’s one thing to have someone’s affection (see LBG and his harem of 600 wives who definitely aren’t shy about giving him affection), but it’s another to know you’ve earned the affections of someone you really like and respect (especially if it’s someone thought to be unobtainable).

As long as the writer can provide a plausible justification for me to suspend disbelief and they set up events to justify it, I can swallow just about any ship possibility. It doesn’t necessarily have to be SJ’s type of personality. (For example, I read a very good fanfiction before where the writer paired Luo Binghe with Ming Fan. Ming Fan, people!!! And they actually pulled it off! What a madlad! Mind, it’s Shen Yuan who had transmigrated into MF in that premise, but the writer set up events that showed how these two characters came to bond and develop a deep friendship which inevitably had LBH developing a crush on his shixiong. I use this as an example because this is the type of unexpected (crack)ship, but because the writer did their work trying to make it seem plausible, we can only admire their hard work and effort at pulling it off.)

As the saying goes, there are plenty of fishes in the sea! As the protagonist, LBH/LBG can have many OTP possibilities with just about anyone as long as the writer can make it plausible. It’s all about the character development and the story/ central themes they wish to tell with the ship!

(Note, these really aren’t hot takes, lol. I’m just having fun answering to this casually from the perspective of a writer. Thank you for your Ask, anon!)

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daydream-believin · 3 years

Text

What About the Smaller Picture (2)

Summary: Merlin knows best. And what he feels is best for you and Douxie right now is to sit around and wait for him to come back from New Jersey, Merlin-knows-when. (2) Your first day in Arcadia, it sure is something. (1) - (3)

Warnings: swearing, proofing is for nerds

Word Count: 2211

a/n: i hope to be able to make you feel the awkwardness radiating off of every part of this series

Hisirdoux’s special welcome tour didn’t exactly do its job of making you feel welcome. You supposed that was more of a problem with you than the town. It definitely wasn’t of any fault of Hisirdoux’s. If anything, he was being a little too warm. It almost felt fake.

People appeared to like Hisirdoux. All across town, he would greet friends, introduce you to them. Kinda like he was showing you off. You did not know what for. He barely knew you, yet he talked about you like you were an old friend returned to him. Like he was proud of you or something. You supposed he was establishing a cover story. And you weren’t sure why. Why not just say you were new in town? What tracks was he trying to cover here.

You stopped paying too much attention to what Hisirdoux was telling others about you. He was telling them that he cared for you. That he missed you. It was a lie, sure. But just hearing those words come out of someone else’s mouth were making you melt. It had been so long that it was hard for you to recall the last time a person said such nice things about you. That was sad. You supposed the blush on your face did good to add to the story he was telling. Made it more believable. You felt really pathetic that this guy you barely knew lying through his teeth about you was actually making you blush as if it was real. As if anyone really thought those nice things he said about you in real life. Man that’s really sad. Moving on.

The town itself looked a little rough. Like it had seen better days. It was apparently a hub of magic, so it probably had. A lot of the damage you saw looked very recent though. That made sense. The whole reason you wound up here was because you befriended a girl traveling with a pack of trolls migrating from this very town. When asked why they were migrating, Claire, the girl, had told you that their home had been destroyed in a recent battle. “The Eternal Night” they called the battle. You, of course, knew about such eternal night. You had heard of the prophecy, you just didn’t expect it to happen in your lifetime. And you may had freaked out just a tad when it came along earlier that month, the unexpected solar eclipse confusing you and your studies before you figured out what was happening. However, you had assumed the battle took place underground, you know, cause trolls. The town you explored with Hisirdoux told a different story. At one point you saw a troll walking by, under an umbrella, following a red-headed human woman with a baby in her arms. And the locals didn’t seem to care. No one batted an eye. Strange town.

What really baffled you though was what happened later in the day, back at the bookstore, when you cast a simple spell. Nothing too flashy, just a little levitation on a book Hisirdoux had sent you to find up on a high shelf you couldn’t reach. When he saw you, Doux made a really panicked gasping sound. He threw himself in front of you, shielding you from the people who were not even there, startling you, and throwing off your focus. The book landed on both of you with a thunk.

“You can’t do that,” his voice was hushed despite you two being the only ones in the shop at the moment, “It’s business hours. The mortals don’t know about wizards and they shouldn’t see magic,” he stressed.

“But- uh,, They look just fine with the trolls?” Confusion was written across your face.

“That’s different. It’s different. Look, the situation is weird, okay,” He made a little X with his hands. “But I can’t have you casting spells around the shop. Or in public, period. The mortals can’t see anything, okay?”

“Okay, okay. My bad. I won’t do it again- Promise.” Your face was hot with embarrassment. This was your fault for assuming. Fuck, he probably thinks you’re a wild card now or something. Not a good start to your professional life here. Or your relationship with this Adonis who’s reprimanding you.

“While there are some other wizards around town that I’ll introduce you to tonight, to stay safe, generally just keep the magic for when we’re alone and out of sight.”

“Oh, yeah, uh- Okay”

He grinned. Suddenly, he leaned in, catching you off guard. “It can be a special thing,” His voice was even softer as he was so close to you, “just between the two of us.”

Oh. So he meant when just You and Him were alone and out of sight. Ooookaaaayyyy. He winked to you as he separated himself from your side, and went off to the back of the store to continue unpacking a shipment he had just got in. He left you there, clutching that damn book to your chest, face now hotter than before, if that was even possible at all. Oh no.

Fuck, it was fucking day one. Day one! Day fucking one and you were developing a crush. NOPE. This was not something you were going to do. Uh-uh. Nein. There was no fucking time for this. Well, you didn’t really know how much time you had with Merlin and his addiction to being perceived as mysterious or whatever the hell was wrong with that asshole you worked for now, but the point is you did not have time for this! Hisirdoux was too much. Merlin really should have had the decency to warn you that he was hot. This wasn’t fair. Not only was Doux beautiful, but he was a touchy person. You weren’t going to stand a chance.

The thing is you had been sooo worried about how you and Hisirdoux were going to get along, you even brought up the concern to Merlin. To be honest, you had thought the old wizard to just be annoyed at your worrying, and that’s why he reassured you it’d all be fine. That you and Hisirdoux would get along swimmingly or whatever just get out of my hair kid. You were so afraid Hisirdoux would have to warm up to you like a cat being introduced to a new kitten. Afraid that he’d resent you since you were technically Merlin’s apprentice too now in a sense. And he was used to being number one, no one else to compete with for Merlin’s sparse pride since Morgana went astray. Merlin assured you Hisirdoux was very friendly. But like, would it kill the geezer to give you a warning that he’d be too friendly.

While you were having your little crisis, Douxie was humming along to the song in his head, stacking up the new books onto a display, trying his absolute dilly darndest not to think about what just happened. What he did. That wasn’t weird, right? Oh fuzzbuckets, he did something weird. He was just so used to playing up the flirty persona he’d developed he hadn’t even stopped to think about if he’d be making you uncomfortable. And he really wanted you to be comfortable. Plus, he felt pretty guilty he had to stop your tour around town to go accept a shipment he forgot. Strangely, he was really concerned about the impression he was giving you. Caring about what another person thought of him was not very in character for him. Not counting Merlin, of course. He was going to have to make this up to you. He really needed you to think he was cool. For professional reasons, of course. Definitely.

~ ~ ~

“SO! I recommend the steak because it’s the least disgusting thing on the menu.”

You gaped at the wizard sitting across from you in this sticky booth, peeping your head over the kitschy French-themed menu you held. He had no menu. In fact he refused to even touch it. Great. What did he know.

“I- What do mean ‘least disgusting’, Casperan.” You were almost afraid to ask.

“I mean that kitchen is filthy and the steak is your best bet for something edible.”

“Why. Why would you bring me here if the food is terrible.”

You were always weary of greasy chain restaurants, but you had expected this one to be at least a little decent, since it was a smaller Cali chain and Hisirdoux had fucking brought you to it your first day in the town. Surely he was kidding.

“I just wanted to show you where I worked nights. So you’d be able to find me easier if there’s any trouble. Besides, you can’t say you’ve been to California if you haven’t had Mr. Benoit’s. It’s like In-N-Out burger. Remind me to take you to an In-N-Out burger later this week.”

You blinked. “Oh – uh, okay.”

Hisirdoux continued, “I can’t have my phone turned on during my shifts so you’ll have to come get me directly if it’s a big enough problem. Make up an emergency. Are you good at improve?”

You looked around the restaurant, getting a feel for its layout, taking notice of where the kitchen and back doors were located, making mental notes of all exits. “Ah, well, I’m good at lying, if that’s what you’re asking…”

“Good enough.”

The waiter came to take your orders. Hisirdoux shared an inside joke with him. It should have been awkward, them laughing away at something you didn’t understand why you sat there quietly, but you were a little too fixated on how pretty Hisirdoux looked when he laughed. It was mesmerizing. The waiter took your order. You got the steak.

~ ~ ~

It was very important for you to establish connections in Arcadia’s wizard underground. Or at least that’s what Hisirdoux thought. You weren’t particularly a social butterfly. It’s not that you didn’t like having a large group of friends or anything, you just never really had a reason to have one. And Doux was hell bent on introducing you to every person in this town in one day apparently. You had met twenty-three wizards in counting over the last hour being shepherded through this off-brand apple store. You had so far learned no names. How did he expect you to remember these peoples names. Scratch that. You knew one name. Zoe. Just because she was very annoyed at your and Hisirdoux’s presence in her workplace, and was very vocal about it. That being said, she didn’t make any real effort to get you to leave. You wished she would though. You were getting overwhelmed. Today had been incredibly stressful, with a lot of information to take in, and with only a brief rest when Doux was handling things at the bookstore. You wanted to go home. Geez, home. You realized that Hisirdoux had yet to show you home. Where was home.

You tugged on his hand to grab his attention. “Hey, I’m- uh – tired? Really tired. Can - can we go home?”

“OH. Yes! Home. Right away. Yes.”

Douxie possibly maybe had been avoiding home all day. It just, it wasn’t much. He had no idea how you were going to react. His space was small already without adding another person to it. Of course, it wasn’t any smaller than any of the one-room cottages that entire families used to share, but it was tiny for modern standards. Okay to be frank it was a back room. Not technically even an actual apartment. But it was his home. And now it was your home too.

Okay, so Hisirdoux lived in his bookstore. What was probably supposed to be a break room was his entire living space. It was… cozy. You set the backpack that carried everything you owned down on the floor and headed for the lumpy plaid sofa. It was nice and old, like a sofa should be. The plaid pattern covered any stains that might have been there. Hisirdoux sat down next to you, starting to fiddle with his hands. You looked around, took it all in. The was a kitchenette off to one side, a bed to the other side. The sofa was in the sort of middle ground. Notably, there was no table, barely any counter space, and various teacups on the coffee table, so it was a safe bet that he just ordered take out every night and ate it on the sofa. The twin bed was on the ground, and the quilts that covered it had visible holes. It struck you that this bed was the only one in the room. The one room.

“So I’ll take the sofa, until we get you a bed. I’ll, uh, figure something out with the space. We can put up curtains or something.” It was if he had read your mind.

You nodded, unsure of anything to add. This was,,,, going to be fun. A challenge. A test to see how long you can act normal while living in extremely close quarters with a funny medieval supermodel. Merlin help you. Something moved in the corner of your eye. You gasped.

“Kitty!”

“Oh, that’s Archie.”

“Pleased to make your acquaintance.”

Talking kitty. How bout that.

#douxie x reader #hisirdoux casperan x reader #douxie x y/n #douxie imagine #hisirdoux casperan imagine #Douxie Casperan x reader #douxie casperan imagine #tales of arcadia x reader #tales of arcadia imagine #hisirdoux casperan #douxie #my writing #watsp

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fluffnstuffq · 3 years

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We all know that the “kin for fun” trend is bad.

Recently, however, the question of “why is it bad?” has risen in prominence, and thus I’d like to give my two cents on the matter. I initially wanted to give a rehash of the whole “this is a community which has been around for decades, please don’t appropriate its terms because you don’t know what you’re talking about” spiel.. though I know that’s been repeated endlessly to no avail.

Dozens of times I’ve tried to explain that, though I’ve often been faced with the “words change” or “it’s just a game, it harms no one” argument.

So I’m taking a more personal approach.

I don’t know if my anecdotes will change anyone’s mind, but if anyone in the “kin for fun” community sees this and actually reads through it, I implore you to try to listen to genuine otherkin, do some research, and find other terms that better suit you.

Beware, long rambling anecdote under the cut.

It is hard to believe that, a mere 8 months ago, I was new to the otherkin community.

I’d been reading about and researching otherkinity in depth for as long as a year prior, though it was as recently as May 2020 upon which I took my own first step into evaluating my own experiences, creating an otherkin oriented side blog, and formally taking the plunge into what I’d initially assumed, from fun “kin assign ask games” or “no doubles drama”, to be a trend.

While I quickly versed myself in the original, serious and introspective parts of the community, I had my fair share of run-ins with those of the “kinnie/kin for fun crowd”. One such experience, over the course of about two-three months, forever left an impression on the way I view the community (and the problems within it) as a whole.

Without naming names, some of the individuals we encountered turned out to be... the practical embodiment of some of the worst facets of this community.

They were the prime example of the misguided “kinnie” mindset. Dead-set on fitting under the ‘kin label, though unwilling to do any research on their own. Faking out of control, dramatic shifts to seem more “valid” to genuine otherkin (more on that later). Willing to go as far as picking traits from other people’s original characters to “customize” their “kinsonas” perfectly.

However, aside from their merely misguided attempts to fit in (which could’ve been easily fixed if not for the stubborn kinnie mindset), the most scathing of their actions highlighted some major issues of the “kin for fun” side.

In just a few months, we had our identities stomped on and treated like nothing more than a game.

You see, the “kinnie” mindset is not self contained. It is almost impossible to maintain this mindset and respect the involuntary, deeply personal nature of otherkin history, due both to widespread misinformation/trends, as well as the common plague of stubborn ignorance of definitions.

In most cases we’ve seen, once one steps fully into the mindset that their own kintypes are nothing more than a game or an act, they begin to at the very least subconsciously view others’ experiences the same way.

This is obviously not the case for all those who take on alterhuman identities by choice (ex: copinglinking). However, in taking on the “kin for fun” label, one immediately disrespects the identities of others by appropriating and bending terms with a history to fit themself.

And once one establishes that they lack care or concern for the already, dare I say, endangered terms once meant to foster a sense of community and understanding, of shared experiences... that person already predisposes themself to spiraling into greater disrespect and ignorance of the identities of others.

The individuals that we encountered, like many others of this mindset, used their so-called “kins” for the sole purpose of feeling validated, for looking “cool” and as leverage to get their way. Because it was nothing more than roleplay and a brief interest to them, they often treated others’ kintypes as something that could be similarly discarded/”turned off” or reset. As if others’ kintypes were nothing more than characters which didn’t deserve respect.

Exotrauma and otherwise painful memories, while stressful and sometimes nightmare inducing for us, were nothing more than fodder for outlandish “story ideas” and “angst” for them.

In the cases of these individuals faking shifts, they often acted in ways threatening and even triggering to those around them; though because it was just a show for them, they failed time and time again to recognize the negative impact their violent “shifts” had on others.

They had no restraint, for both their own actions and the fearful/concerned reactions of others were just harmless roleplay in their eyes. (I do feel like.. even roleplay should have boundaries if the events of a story upset the people participating, and the notion that anything goes, even at the expense of someone else’s comfort.. it just gives very uncomfortable “fiction does not affect reality” vibes. Though, that’s a story for another time).

As our experiences weren’t real to them and never had been, they often conflated us with the “canon characters”, like we and many others they interacted with were nothing more than toys to fixate on, change and push “headcanons” onto, and test the limits of.

And because they didn’t care to learn, because individuals such as these continued to remorselessly fall deeper into the rabbit hole of “I do whatever I want/I don’t care to learn otherwise”, the lack of consideration grew more severe.

Those who “kin for fun” may certainly be experiencing.. something, I will not discount that assertion. Whether copinglinking, a hearttype, or merely a fictionflicker/cameo shift. However, it’d be disingenuous to say that it is harmless for them to continue to warp and pick at terms that do not and will never fit them. For every joke, every dozens-long “coping-kinlist”, every admittance of “haha I was never a serious kin”, they all do the same in spreading misinformation.

As I see more and more people self-identifying as “copinglink, but using the kin title because it sounds better”, even if calling oneself “a non-serious kinnie”, one wonders... why use those terms if you know they do not fit? Why encroach upon communities of bittersweet memories, of aching homesickness, of involuntary nonhumanity, only with the intention of putting on an act?

Why fight so hard, when directly told and shown how “kin for fun” actively tears apart the already dwindling otherkin community on this platform? Why cling so hard to words that are not yours, why force change upon the definitions of words meant to be a safe haven for those searching for understanding? Why paint “serious otherkin” as dangerous gatekeepers, sufferers of clinical lycanthropy, or those merely suffering from delusions/hallucinations?

Because of those who “kin for fun”, I was initially steered away from investigating my own identity; I’d only seen the jokes, the toxic “kin drama”, the cringe blogs and factkin and “kinning”. Because of “kin for fun”, it took me over a year to come to terms with my own alterhumanity, in all of its facets.

Because of “kinnies”, my fears are proven time and time again that I will come across someone who views my identity as roleplay at best and “childish, a phase, character theft” at worse. Because of “kinnies” and the mindset they’ve fostered, time and time again someone steals my memories, my experiences, my identity, justifying it as creating their own version, like an AU of an AU.

Because of “kinnies”, time and time again I’ve been told to “stop taking things so seriously, it’s just for fun” when complaining about my identity being minimized. I’ve been told that “kinnies”, despite appropriating an already existing community, are the “normal ones”, the “sane ones”, the “good ones” who don’t really believe in all that they boast.

Some have even told me that it doesn’t matter at all, for all they can see is a trend with no real hold over their identity in the longrun. “It won’t matter in ten years”, they say.

Perhaps not for them, long after their interest in the “trend” has faded. But for me and countless other genuine otherkin? In ten years I will still be Blixer from Just Shapes and Beats, I will still be an unnamed creature of woods and starlight and faded memories of golden lanterns, I will still be otherkin, and I will still carry the scars of my identity being torn to shreds and thrown into my face like dirt.

I cannot run from my kintypes and never could, even when I was afraid of them. “Kinnies”, in most cases, hardly believe my identity really exists.

What do they believe, then? What are they trying to achieve, scrubbing away the less “aesthetically pleasing”, fluffy bits of this community? What good does it do them to take meaningful, personal words to describe an identity that they can shed at the drop of a hat if it is “problematic” or boring at the end of the day?

One can smile and nod and say that, despite “kinning for fun”, they still respect otherkinity as a whole. And I say, in most cases, that reassurance is hollow. You have already stolen our words, you have already spread misinformation.

This has stumbled into rambling territory, so I leave a few questions, honest, genuine questions.

I ask those who “kin for fun”, what is the allure of words that you have stolen? What is the allure of having the blood of a shattered community on your hands?

As many others have said before, you may find a place in the greater alterhuman community. We have terms for you, as well as many other specific experiences.

Why fight so hard to steal our haven, to push us out of our own spaces, when your own words are waiting for you with open arms?

Words change, yes, but why fight so hard to change them at the expense of others?

#fluffywords #otherkin #fictionkin #important #//i want this to be SEEN this is our most important essay post yet /srs //#please reblog #//rb if you want to i mean. not forcing anyone /gen. its just very very important weee//#//we crave introspective discussion//

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slytherinsnekxvii · 3 years

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let's talk about lily evans. she's an interesting character—or rather, the case surrounding her character is quite interesting.

i honestly don't know if i can say i dislike her. by all means, she should be a fan favourite, and she is... but for some rather intriguing reasons.

for one thing, due to the fact she's hardly expanded on in the series, certain parts of the fandom have been forced to either take the few qualities that she displays canonically and amplify them to the extreme (eg. immediate righteous anger at the slightest hint of injustice in fic) or create an entirely new personality (eg. no, i didn't actually disapprove of your pranks, it was just sexual tension). of course, the option of creating a new personality is much more tempting when you can just add amplified canon traits on the side.

for another, her relationship with james sometimes seems likes it's being weaponized against snape and his fans. i've seen arguments that go like "haha, snape just wanted to fuck lily, but james got her in the end anyway, sucks to be you", and not only does it entirely reduce her to an object, it feels like they don't even care about the relationship, the dynamics or the characters. she's basically a plot device.

and thirdly, half of her characterisation in fic is to be a peter stand-in. we don't like the rat man, so let's take the pretty girl and put her in place of the guy who was canonically a member of the marauders, even up until he was named secret keeper. suddenly, she's a prankster and an enabler.

but, snek, you may say, all of that is fanon lily, tho. you just explained that people seem to like her because they just put any personality they want into her as long as she's at least vaguely a good person. you would be right.

let's look at canon lily. she's described as the brightest witch of her age, most everyone speaks favourably of her. in fact, the only people we see actively disliking/being upset with her are petunia, out of jealousy and the invasion of privacy concerning her letter, severus, who lashed out and used a slur that also applied to him in a moment of serious distress and apologised after, and well, pureblood supremacists by virtue of her being muggleborn. interestingly enough, even this dislike manages to develop everyone's character more than it does her own.

as a teenage girl myself, let's look at her actions as a teenage girl. not necessarily in chronological order because I'm writing this at 2am and my memory is already mediocre at best.

1. she's done well enough in school to be considered trustworthy and responsible enough to be a prefect.

okay, i can respect that. a good few of the prefects at my school were really just appointed based on how much the teachers liked you, but at hogwarts, there's so few of them that they must put at least a little effort into it, so i'll move on.

2. she does not press for details when informed that her best friend's life needed to be saved by someone who has been publicly tormenting him for years

now, see, there's no reason why she needs to play therapist. it's not her job, she's just a girl, and we know that snape wasn't supposed to talk about the incident, so he would've been stuck if she had asked for an explanation. however, i also feel like she doesn't seem particularly concerned about his wellbeing, and when he brings up his concerns about lupin, rather than ask for proof, she dismisses it. which, fair enough, i would hate to listen to someone talk about the same thing over and over and over, but, i also feel like the fixation on a theory like that would be cause for concern.

3. she dismisses the actions of a group known to play tricks that harm people and have specifically been tormenting her best friend on the basis that they don't use dark magic

first, i'm going to establish what i usually assume dark magic refers to. aside from jinxes, hexes and curses, i also include anything that produces an effect similar to any of the unforgivables (takes away your life, your free will or your ability to feel safe in your own body, such as when you're in excruciating pain), and magic that would require a sacrifice of some sort.

when snape tries to point out the danger in what the marauders do, she insists that they don't use dark magic. and they don't... but they do use illegal magic. she then argues against the company that snape keeps, which, again, to be fair, is justified considering mulciber's done something to mary macdonald... it's also not a particularly realistic ask. snape probably shares a dorm with these guys, and he's a poor half-blood so he's already on the outs. as far as he knows, any dissent will be met with him getting hexed in his sleep. but, i digress.

given that the marauders have been shown to be doing extremely dangerous with little regards to anyone's safety, and actively tormenting her best friend, i disagree with her choice here. on the other hand, she's made her own friends in gryffindor and perhaps she sees a nicer side of them that we don't get to. she's justified in her actions, but i still disagree.

4. she intervenes when her best friend is hung upside down by a spell of his own invention at the wands of the people who have tormenting him for years

she does object to the marauders' treatment of him, and she does try to get them to let him down. if i were in her position, i would absolutely do the same. i respect the decision to stand up for her friend.

5. she does not seriously attempt to help him or punish the marauders

i do not respect how she handled it. at any point, she could have drawn her wand. but, snek, you say, perhaps she didn't want to get involved physically. she wanted to follow the rules. in that case, at any point, she could taken points, assigned detention, or sent someone to get a member of staff. she does none of those things and i viscerally disagree. if we were ever friends and someone tried to hurt you, i can assure you that i would try to at least see to it that they'd be punished, even if it wasn't immediate or by my own hand. lily, however, chooses to argue rather than take action.

6. she smiles when severus gets hung upside down

chances are, it was more than likely an involuntary reaction, like laughing when your friend has fallen over. however, the fact that it was intentionally written in seems like it's mean to be an indicator that the friendship was already falling apart.

7. she comments on her best friend's poverty and uses a name that's been used to make fun of him after he calls her a slur that also applies to him

she was 100% within her rights to be upset by being called a slur. it is never okay to use slurs. the only situation in which a slur could possibly ever be appropriate would be if you were an oppressed group attempting to reclaim said slur which is not at all what snape was doing here. he was experiencing cruelty, being humiliated, publicly, for no reason beyond existing and he was in distress, choking on soap and upside down. it was damaging to his pride, especially when james suggests that he needs lily to fight his battles for him (paraphrasing) which is an emasculating statement to make, especially to a teenage boy. so, snape lashes out with the most hurtful word he could think of, which happened to be a slur that also applies to him. lily was 100% justified in being upset about this, and she retaliated in kind. she was very much allowed to say what she said. i understand that she was hurt and angry and i respect that, especially as i can't guarantee that i would not have been just as upset in that situation.

8. even when the threat of sexual harassment is made, she still does nothing

i get it, at this point, she's hurt, she's mad, she wants him to suffer since she's a teenage girl and teenage girls hold grudges like it's nobody's business, but... i definitely couldn't just stand by and watch it happen. she basically just let them go through with it.

9. she does not accept her best friend's apology for calling her a slur that also applies to him, effectively burying the friendship

she is, by no means, obligated to continue being friends with him. however, if i were in that position, and the apology was sincere, i would take the friend back.

10. she goes on to date and eventually marry the guy who bullied her former best friend for his entire school life

no. i disagree. but, snek, you say, james changed. no. he didn't. we know, that at this point, james was still going after snape behind lily's back. you can say that she didn't know, but that means that she would have allowed james to lie to her and that doesn't sit right with me bc a relationship built on lies is a relationship that is going to fall apart, especially when your partner has been disappointed by your actions before. you can say that she did know, and that proves that she simply didn't take her responsibilities as head girl seriously enough to stop the head boy from harassing people when she explicitly told him not to. the point is, no. there is no way that this would have worked out as a long term relationship. james is too comfortable lying to her. i can't even say she was justified. there is no circumstance where i personally see this as okay for anybody involved.

alright, so, essentially teenage lily was justified in (most of) her actions, even if i find them questionable.

adult lily dies at 21, while saving her son, but her death also helps save the wizarding world. good job. she, as expected, did what any good mother would.

and that's canon lily.

my thoughts: she's a perfect example of why writing tips are so adamant on making sure people try to show and not tell. we were told that lily is meant to be good and pure and lovely, but the author never bothered to actually prove that, so what we're left with a dissonance between what we see and what we know.

as a result, i still don't know if i truly dislike her. her actions are justified, but they don't match with what we've been told, and we don't have any other information to go off of. at best, i can say for certain that i disagree with many of her choices, despite understanding why she would have made them (except for marrying james potter, uggghh, the only good thing to come out of that was harry and the saving of the wizarding world by extension, ig).

thanks for reading all that, btw! hope it made sense :)

#meta #lily evans #lily evans potter #anti lily evans?#just to be sure #james potter #severus snape #harry potter #thoughts #my opinion #not sure what i should tag this as #im tired and have to get up for work in like #five hours lol #anti jily #im sorry but i really can't do jily

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dreamteamfanblog · 3 years

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The fact that even the Dream Smp Wiki acknowledges the founding of The Badlands as the festival without acknowledging the stream where Skeppy and Bad literally formed the Badlands (they even named it that stream) way before the festival. Which. Is a shame. Because I really like that stream. Bad's assertion that "The Only Important Side's Skeppy's Side", the way they giggled and reveled in their plans as they discussed how "Maybe the most amount of fun we can have is the chaotic kinda fun~", and I kinda got chills during that giddy "We play the sides against each other and take it all for ourselves!" speech. Like. Man. I remember getting so psyched over that stream and all-caps screaming about how cool it was.

So it's kinda sad to me that nobody seems to know about that stream. Like, it's nothing new, there were hardly any posts whatsoever about it when it happened and literally every time I mentioned that they were going on a villain arc I got multiple confused comments and questions. Then everyone seemed confused about whether Skeppy was even a member for the longest time and even when he was included it was "under the assumption that he's teamed with bad cause in what world aren't they teamed lol" rather than because Skeppy and Bad literally planned their little team together long before other members were even a thought in their minds, and it surely speaks to their characters, that Bad so easily proclaimed Skeppy's side the only one that mattered and slid his idea by Skeppy as an equal before he even thought of a plan, before he even thought of a name, something they did together.

And like, I just clicked on The Badlands wiki page for unrelated reasons, and even that page lists The Festival as the start of The Badlands and lists Bad, Ant, and Awesamdude as the founders even though Bad and Skeppy had formed their own little faction they called The Badlands with just the two of them long before the others entered because the two of them are all that matters to them, really, and in what world does Bad while in his right mind launch such an ambitious project without his Skeppy already by his side.

"The only faction that matters is the Skeppy faction"

The Badlands was their plan, their faction, created with so much giddiness and excitement by the two of them for the two of them, for each other, with the idea in mind that this was all that mattered, whatever else came from their little scheme.

And I just really really like that whole stream. I really like how thoroughly it displays that nothing really matters to them besides each other. I really loved their energy and their giddy excitement and affection throughout the planning with one another was in equal parts a further reminder of how much they matter to each other and an indicator of how disconnected their emotions are from the world outside each other. They agreed to do this for the fun of it. Not even a hunger for power, not some sort of resentment, not as well intentioned extremists, not for any reason but that this is the most amount of Fun we can get out of all this. As if the lives of other people were a game to toy with. As if they lacked empathy entirely for the people their "fun" may hurt. As if they could only see each other.

And god i've been sitting here including this stream as a peak moment for them both and including this in my thoughts on the Badlands dynamic generally because hey, doesn't it strike anyone as odd that Bad and Skeppy were whispering and giggling about how much fun they were going to have and openly discussing plans and expressing a complete lack of care for like Anyone else because as Bad outright said there's not really a thing outside of Skeppy that matters to him in the slightest, and that goes both ways....and yet when Bad approached Sam and Ant it was under the pretenses of solidarity, of 'outrage' over the festival and how Schlatt had gone too far, not a word to them about how the little world domination scheme and The Badlands as a faction long predated this conversation and the moment in which Schlatt took things 'too far'. Isn't it odd that none of this is mentioned to them. That Bad presents this idea as if he and Skeppy hadn't already formed not only the faction but the plans to facilitate conflict and snatch whatever they wanted out of the ruins? That he wasn't chattering away about the Fun they'd have when he proposed the idea to them? That he let them believe they were forming a new group on the spot in reaction to Schlatt? I don't even really think Bad let them in on the plan until a few days before the war despite having planned this all out with Skeppy only days after the election? That Bad let them take for granted their position as neutrals, and then as supporters of Pogtopia, only informing Ant and Sam of what had been the plan since before they'd joined the faction a few days before the event? And even then, he spoke of power, and of how they couldn't possibly stand in support of either faction after everything. He never spoke of the fact that this started as a little game. Because Bad was bored and didn't much mind what entertaining himself through chaos and bloodshed would lead to for others, so long as he maintained Skeppy's favour. Which is something Bad didn't relay to the others.

And looking at the way Bad treats their 'rise to power' for so long, it's all incredibly in line with his little game. I mean, half the time he's not even optimizing strategy here. He doesn't tell Ant or Sam his plans until it's happening, he suggests alliances and pulls away from them with ease given no real rhyme or reason, he abandons threads shortly after he pulls them and leaves a tangled mess of yarn on the floor rather than weaving together any truly effective plan, he negotiates for things he knows he can't get and never seems to bothered when it doesn't pan out, he's never entirely honest with Ant and Sam, even, if i'm being honest. He pushes for land and power and all, that's something he makes moves towards, and is something he's honestly really effective at getting, but it's all regarding so lightly. Like he doesn't care. Like it's all so much fun, just like he and Skeppy had planned for it to be.

And Bad literally continues to not care about much of anything and is very much amused by the goings on of the Smp.

Until he loses the one thing team that actually mattered.

Skeppy's team.

And I mean, yeah, the egg's influencing Bad right now, but the egg isn't actually complete mind control, and the things Bad does are still things he's choosing to do. His attempts to harm Sam. Puffy. Quackity. Everyone who'd ever considered themselves close to him. The way he spoke of power. Of taking over. Of a future for the eggpire, something those around him bought into, even those who believed him powerhungry and mad. Plans much like the ones he'd spun for Ant and Sam a million times before, even without the egg. Plans that were still no more important to him than they'd been during his little games earlier on, because Bad didn't intend to take power for the Eggpire, Bad intended to toss whatever the egg wanted at it and would be glad to sit in the ruins of whatever the egg left behind with Skeppy at his side.

The egg arc is all about Skeppy. He allowed himself to be infected to be with Skeppy, he's chosen to do all of these horrific things to his friends and to innocents and to children without hesitation for Skeppy, the only thing Quackity ever said that had him take pause was when he asked "if the egg can give you anything you want, why don't you have skeppy", the closest Bad's been recently to defying the egg was when Skeppy brushed him aside for it at which Bad lashed out at the egg, Bad insists that the egg will give him something nobody else could. Skeppy's his focus. His center. The only thing that matters.

And Skeppy's ALWAYS been.

Like, god, these things aren't new. The fixation on only Skeppy mattering, the lack of concern for everything else, the willingness to deceive and hurt even those who love him, this was all established in that very first stream when Bad proclaimed Skeppy to be the only side that mattered and they chattered enthusiastically about faction names and the fun they'd have at the expense of anyone and everyone else. This has been A Thing since the moment Bad actually like...became a character at all way back right after the election when he proposed a faction for the two of them. They planned then to recruit others as well, but the faction was there's, the faction was them, no person, no goal, no moral code, none of it was as important as their duo, their bubble, the badlands is Bad's show for Skeppy's amusement and the other people involved are glorified sock puppets who think they're special or that they matter. Nothing in Bad's motives or even really his morality or feelings towards other people has shifted much. It's always been Skeppy. Skeppy, Bad's own heart. Skeppy, Bad's life. The one thing that matters. The only thing that's changed is that before Bad was smiling, setting the world ablaze to see the way the light would reflect off Skeppy's eyes while they laughed about it, and now his Skeppy's gone, and I can guarantee nothings going to stop Bad from burning the rest of the world to the ground if it means getting him back. No other motivator, moral code, or loved one will stop him. Because there aren't any. Because there never were any to begin with. There was never anything besides Skeppy.

And that's just Really Cool and I feel like a lot of their story is at least slightly recontextualized by knowing how The Badlands were actually formed and it makes me sad how little it's thought of that from the beginning it was Skeppy and Bad and nothing else meant a thing. Cause that's a really unique situation with their characters and I need The Badlands being Skeppy and Bad's thing first and foremost above all else acknowledged more often cause it was them from the beginning guys-

#dream smp

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knickynoo · 3 years

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I loved your recent post about Marty and his ADHD! It was soo spot on. And, I saw in the tags that you mentioned Alex Keaton and how you believe he’s not neurotypical either. Care to elaborate? Do you have any headcanons about neurodivergent™ Alex? I’d love to hear your thoughts! :)

Oh, hey, thank you! Marty having ADHD seems to be one of the most common headcanons in the fandom, so that post was a lot of fun to work on.

As far as Alex goes...yes, I will elaborate, BUT I'm putting it under a cut because ya girl is really going to E L A B O R A T E.

I've mentioned before that I think Alex's overall personality/demeanor comes from a variety of different places. Some parts of who he is are likely caused by all the pressure put on him to be a high achiever, due to being so academically gifted from a young age. Other parts are due to being overly coddled and spoiled by Elyse and Steven. Still, there's probably a part of Alex that genuinely enjoys being difficult and getting a rise out of people. Then, there's the obvious anxiety he struggles with, which even MJF has talked about in some interviews when discussing how he approached playing a guy like Alex.

"Giftedness" & anxiety are already included under the umbrella of neurodiversity but in Alex's case, I actually think there's even more to it than that. Yeah, Alex is a funny character whose actions/words are so often played for laughs. He can also be a really irksome character when he's dishing out the sarcasm and being selfish. But I also can't help but look at Alex and think, This guy is just so not NT and he is struggling, somebody Help Him. And since Alex P. Keaton is one of my favorite characters AND I love to analyze/ do deep dives AND the topic of neurodiversity is a particularly strong interest of mine... well, here you go....

Mans is autistic.

• Difficulty with social cues and "reading the room". Seriously, there are so many instances of everyone around him all being on the same page about something or dealing with something serious, and Alex walks in and just proceeds to miss every single cue people throw his way. Two scenes that pop into my head, in particular, are the Reflective Pajamas one and the Clam Puff one, lol.

• He frequently struggles with putting himself in other people's shoes: Alex is certainly shown to be a compassionate person. He can recognize when people are hurting and will do the right thing, but sometimes he needs some help to get there. It seems that a lot of the time, all he knows is how he feels or thinks about something, and it doesn't occur to him that another person could be experiencing it differently. Then, once Steven, Elyse, Ellen, etc, break the situation down for him and explicitly say things like, Hey, that person's feelings are hurt because... or Here is the exact reason this person is angry... Alex is finally able to connect the dots, which usually leads to him being like, I hadn't ever thought about that/ I didn't mean it. (Of course, there are also times where Alex is just purposely being a jerk, but I'm not focusing on those)

• Specific, intense interests: Politics & economics, obviously. It's made well-known that Alex has been completely fixated on these two areas since he was a toddler. He's prone to enthusiastic, overly detailed discourse on the topics and either doesn't care or can't pick up on when people are growing bored at listening to him.

• Also, can we talk about how it's established that Alex's favorite toy as a little kid was a box? Like, he carried it everywhere, played with it, slept with it, and was devastated when it fell apart. Idk, I know kids can be attached to random objects, but it's just interesting that Alex is noted as having been enamored with a box. I'm just picturing little Alex, ignoring all the toys he has in favor of just sitting and staring at a box, and his parents are like, Yeah, this is normal.

• Highly intelligent, bordering on genius/prodigy (He was doing long-division at like, 3 years old) but has difficulty connecting with peers & making friends: This is most prominently shown in "A, My Name is Alex," where we see glimpses of various events in his childhood. In the scene where Alex meets Greg, we learn that Alex spends recess inside, helping the teacher plan her lessons rather than going out to socialize with his classmates. He's bewildered at Greg's invitation to come play, meaning he likely spent the majority of his childhood on his own due to being considered an outcast by his peers and just generally relating more easily to adults. (He also mentions taking night classes at a local college at age SEVEN. So like. If the long-division story and night class thing are taken to be actual facts of Alex's childhood...we're looking at something similar to hyperlexia/hypernumeracy here. This kid must have been bored out his mind having to sit through elementary school if he was that advanced)

• Very literal at times/ misses sarcasm: Interestingly enough, APK is very fond of being sarcastic but doesn't do so well when he's on the receiving end of it. Someone will make a joke or spin the sarcasm towards him for once, and he'll either just stare blankly like ???? or smile/thank them and they're like, Yeah, that wasn't a compliment, or, I was kidding.

• Black and white/ inflexible thinking: This might be the biggest one. Alex is super concerned with rules and ensuring that everyone is following them correctly. There's right and there's wrong, with no gray areas or middle ground as far as he's concerned. My favorite instance of this is in the episode where the family goes to visit Steven's mother and Rob, Alex's uncle, is telling a story of how Steven got in trouble as a kid for refusing to put his name in the upper right corner of his test papers. Everyone around the table laughs...except for Alex, who is deeply troubled by the information.

Just...Steven's delivery. The way he pauses and stares at Alex before replying with a ridiculous punishment that obviously didn't happen, but Alex shows no signs of being aware of or amused at the joke and is just glad his father faced the consequences of his actions. It's great, and a prime example of Alex's preoccupation with "the rules."

Another good example (& one that crosses into the empathy category as well) is "Big Brother is Watching", where Alex exposes a cheating scandal at school (that involves Mallory) and then can't wrap his mind around why everyone is angry at him when he gets the students who were involved suspended. He spends half the episode saying things like, But cheating is wrong. It's wrong and I told the truth about it. I did what's right. You (Steven) told me to always tell the truth, which I did. WHY PEOPLE ANGRY???

And so Steven has to basically spell it out and be like, You got those students suspended, Alex. They are upset with you because of this. They were exposed publically, which embarrassed them, and people tend to not like being embarrassed.

And Alex is like, Oh.

• Repetitive behavior/movements: Most often seen when Alex is distressed or scared, his mannerisms definitely stand out in many scenes. He paces, taps his foot/bounces his leg, rubs his hands together or over his lap, rocks back and forth, and avoids eye contact. I made a post about this a short while back because it really is interesting (and a testament to how well the character was played). There are moments where Alex is completely confident and "calm", and you can see that reflected in the way he carries himself. But whenever he's upset or anxious, you'll start to notice a variety of the things listed above.

So. Yeah. All these things considered...I headcanon Alex as possibly being autistic?? Which is not a take I've ever seen anyone else mention (and I seriously doubt anyone working on the show had this angle in mind at all) but watching through the series, my radar just goes off when it comes to APK.

I have no idea how this will be received. (If anyone even reads it because wow, this got away from me).

Thanks for the ask. As you may be able to tell, I enjoyed being able to spew out my thoughts.

#family ties #alex p keaton #apk #asks #do you see why it takes me so long to answer asks sometimes?#I'm out here writing an essay #I guess it's good that so few people I actually know watch/are fans of FT #because they would not have the option to keep scrolling and ignore me in situations like this #BUT! I was recently watching FT with someone who is new to the show #and I had said nothing about anything relating to this post or my thoughts here #after enough eps that they were able to get the full picture of Alex #they said ''You know...Alex could be autistic''#and I was like !!!!!!!! YOU SEE IT TOO

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