#you don't know how long i spent finding lyrics

[befuddled-calico-whump]

putting one more Cinderglass drabble request in your askbox (i am so sorry for the spam but i’ve been thinking about them nonstop aghfsk). again, feel free to ignore this!

i‘d love to see Sarah help Lex work through a panic attack or a traumatic flashback! maybe either so that he doesn’t have to drown himself in alcohol about it or she’s helping and calming him down while he’s drunk

Wildefire Masterlist

cw: alcoholism, emeto, hallucinations, withdrawals

He'd been sober for thirty seven hours.

Not long at all, really, but it was something, and he was trying, and it was fine.

Well, it was fine for thirty seven hours.

Outright quitting was the only thing Lex dared to do. Trying to just cut back wouldn't work, because what was cutting back? He didn't keep track of how much he drank anymore, he just drank until he felt like it was enough. Even just trying to regulate himself to one a day seemed risky business. Would he be able to stop, once he started?

He didn't want to find out.

Lex didn't tell Sarah, didn't want her saying it was a bad idea or insisting on staying with him. It was a rough ride ahead, and he didn't want to somehow hurt her in the throes of his panic or sickness. He... He didn't want her to see him like that.

So he locked himself in his room, told her not to bother him this week, that he'd be busy. The safehouse was old and decrepit but huge, and his room had a small bathroom attached, something he was doubly grateful for now.

He stocked his room with water bottles. It was impossible not to think of Sarah whenever he looked at their plastic cases now, Sarah staying up until early daylight, because she was worried. That was good. He could use his guilt there as a reminder; a reason to hold out.

He sipped at them and stared at the wall, every light in the room on, the old radio Sarah had gotten for him positioned at the foot of his bed. She'd given him a battered CD case with it, packed full of a few dozen discs. A Guns n Roses album was currently in, playing just loud enough to pull his thoughts.

She's got a smile that it seems to me, reminds me of childhood memories

By now, Lex was pretty good at doing nothing, letting himself sink into the thankfulness that nothing was being done to him. Even a year after the Tower and weeks free of Uriah, the talent hadn't faded. Day one turned into night, and he didn't dare fall asleep. Just swapped one CD for another and let his mind cling to the lyrics.

Too late, my time has come

Sends shivers down my spine, body's aching all the time

It was around hour twenty two that the headache started, and it only got worse from there. Not long after that, Lex was clinging to the toilet bowl, heaving up the half-dozen water bottles he'd drank throughout the day, his head swimming, the pit in his stomach insisting couldn't he just do this later? Would it hurt to have one drink, to get rid of this shitty feeling?

No. All or nothing.

He moved the radio to the bed, putting his ear to the speaker, trying to drown out everything else. The album came to an end, and he replaced it with another, as quick as he could without scratching the disc with his stupid metal fingers.

Suddenly someone is there at the turnstile

The girl with the kaleidoscope eyes

Fuck. He just needed to hold out, just for a few days, and this would be over. A little self control, and maybe he could call himself worthy of the people here. Not a loose end. Not an ex-enemy or a liability. Something better.

Lex wrapped the sheets around himself, held the pillow over his head to try and ease the pounding in his skull with the pressure. It didn't help. He almost fell asleep, but the nausea pulled at his stomach and his skin was crawling and too hot, and then he was throwing off the blankets; stripping down to his boxers in an effort to ease the heat.

Exhausted but unable to find sleep, he sat with his back against the cool wall and sipped water, trying to find the lyrics again and hold them.

I don't really want to stop the show

But I thought you might like to know

That the singer's gonna sing a song

And he wants you all to sing along

It didn't help, it wasn't enough. His own body was fighting him, roiling nausea and sickness insisting all he needed was one drink and it could all go away, it could all be okay (fray, gray, stay).

The radio hummed as the CD came to an end, a few seconds passing before the album began again.

What would you think if I sang out of tune?

Would you stand up and walk out on me?

At long last, his own exhaustion was catching up to him, and he dragged himself back onto the bed, the heavy feeling in his chest spreading to his eyes and mind, as the music faded to a buzz and sleep overcame him.

He woke in the Tower.

It was impossible, he knew it was, but the fear seized him all the same, the crushing weight of walls he couldn't escape, the knowledge that this time, there would be no one to free him; this time he was here for good.

And the floor was wrong and Lex knew there was never music, but he fucking knew where he was.

He sat up, wincing at the sharp pain that rang through his skull at the movement, forcing down rising nausea. No one here cared if he was sick, if he was hurt, they'd hurt him more anyway, they'd do what it took to keep him down, keep him in line. He wrapped his arms

(Arms? It's wrong, stop, you aren't---)

around himself, squeezing his torso with a pressure that wasn't comforting. He felt shaky, blurred, weak. Had they drugged him?

(just one drink and this all goes away)

He tried to reach for the techniques he'd used to get through the days, tried to remember the things he'd done to stay sane, to stay alive, but any useful memory fell through his hands like sand, leaving nothing but the shadows, the nightmares (snares, glares, spares).

He knew what happened here, in his cell (hell). He knew what was waiting to spring on him at any moment, what would surely come for him if he let his guard down (drown), if he fell asleep, if he---

"Morning, scum."

Lex froze as the door swung open. Morning? But it was so dark, but it was always dark, the light never hits you here, and when it does there are worse things waiting---

"I knew you'd come crawling back. This is where you belong, it's home."

He could hear the voice clear as day, but couldn't see its owner. It didn't sound like Wade. It almost sounded like...

"Alexei. Did you really think you could hide from me?"

Uriah Fox stood over the bed, a smug smile plastered on his face.

"No," Lex choked out. "Y-you can't--"

"You always knew it would end this way."

(Fray, pray, stray)

He climbed onto the bed, straddling Lex, easily pinning him despite being so much smaller, despite Lex being so much stronger, and he couldn't move, he couldn't breathe---

"Lex."

The pressure in his chest faded, and he gasped for air, squinting into the dim light, unable to make out anything. A hand fell onto his shoulder, giving it a light shake, and he flinched back.

"Sorry."

Sarah? He forced himself to breathe deeply, ease his eyes open. Her silhouette was blurry above him, and it was only then that he realized he was crying.

He brushed the tears away hastily with the back of his hand. "You... You should go," he managed to say.

She sighed. "I'm sorry if I scared you, I just... I heard you... screaming. Not loud or anything, but..." She tapped her earlobe. "Can't get much past these."

He swallowed, trying to push himself into a seated position, but his shoulders shook, his stomach twisting, and he fell back onto the pillow.

"Lex..." She bit her lip. "You could've told me. You know you don't have to do this alone."

He almost laughed out loud at that. What other way was there? It was his body, his choices, his mistakes. He'd drowned himself for too long, hoping it could save him, knowing it never would. He was reaping his rewards. No one else should have to deal with the mess that was him.

"I'm not your problem," he murmured, letting his eyes close again. What could she do, besides be there to fill the silence when music wasn't enough? Besides grounding him and telling him it wasn't real, he wasn't there?

"You're not a problem, Lex," she said, her voice serious. Tired. How late was it? Even trying to be fucking better, he was still screwing up her life.

"I just want you to take care of yourself, okay?" She kicked at an empty water bottle. "Is this the best way? I'm glad you're trying, I am, but don't you think it'll be easier on you if you come downstairs and hang out?"

He didn't want any of them to see him like this. "What good would that do?"

"Distract you, for one. For another, it'll be easier to remember meals. When's the last time you've eaten something?"

He sank further onto the bed, his gut twisting again at the thought of food. "I don't know."

"And have you been drinking anything besides water?"

"No, that's--that's the whole point, I'm not---"

"That's not what I meant. Electrolytes? A protein shake, maybe?"

"No," he answered after a moment.

She dropped her eyes, a grimace tugging at her mouth though she seemed to be trying to hold it back.

"Do you not think I can do this?"

"I think you're punishing yourself," Sarah said. "And I think you should stop."

Was he? His head spun almost too much to think about it. This wasn't self-inflicted punishment, it was cause and effect. It was something he had to get through if he ever wanted to move past the Tower.

"It'll be over soon," he muttered, and he hoped he was right.

She dipped her head, pressing her lips together tightly, and pushed off of the bed, moving to sit cross-legged on the floor.

"Sarah..."

"Look, I don't wanna push your boundaries, but I can't leave you like this. It's not safe."

"It'll get worse from here."

"Which is why I'm staying." She gave him a stern look. "If you want to be alone, I'll leave, but I'll be right outside your door."

Lex clenched his jaw. "I'll be fine."

"You're detoxing. You're already feverish. What if you start seizing up?"

"Then I've already dug my own grave."

"Lex." Her expression darkened. "You can't keep doing this."

"This is the only time--"

"Not this. Self-destructing. You..." She did grimace then, pinching the bridge of her nose. "You keep hurting yourself, and I can't keep watching."

He pressed his cheek further into the pillow, knees drawing to his chest. "Then why do you?" he said. "Why haven't you thrown me out yet?"

The words came out too angry. Accusatory. His own fault. Any filter he had was lessened by the pain in his head and the nausea and the fucking exhaustion. He didn't want her to throw him out, he... he needed her. Not in some bullshit emotional way, but as a reminder that there were still good things. Things worth fighting for, worth living for.

"I'd never throw you out," Sarah said, her expression turning to something that bordered playful. "I like you too much for that, you know. I just..." She exhaled through her nose, pushed soft dark hair over her shoulder. "I want you to try, okay? Can you agree to try to do what's best for yourself? To stop taking the harder path just because?"

Could he? Even if he wanted to? The harder path was what he was used to. Less traveled, less trapped. Suffering for a goal was a habit. Muscle memory.

Would the path to freedom be as clear if there was no pain to pave it?

Still, something in her voice pulled Lex to nod against the pillow. "I'll try."

Her smile shifted to something more genuine. "That's all I'm asking." She began to push herself up. "I'll, uh... I'll be in the hall then. You are eating breakfast in the morning, mister."

"You... You don't have to do that," he started.

"Do what? Bring you food? Or stand guard? I already said I'm not leaving you alone--"

"You don't have to stay in the hall." Lex swallowed (followed), and it took him a second to form the words. "You can stay here. If you... If you want to."

Her expression softened. "Yeah. I do."

She found a spare pillow and blanket in the room's closet and began to settle down on the floor beside him, picking out a new CD to start the music playing again.

While we're on the subject, could we change the subject now

"I'm here if you need me."

"I know." I need you.

It was a paradox. The easier path to recovery, to a clear head, to control being the more difficult one. Because it was untravelled. Because he almost felt he didn't deserve it, that he should bear the punishment for his own vices.

But even if the path was unchartered, he had a guide. For once, he didn't have to walk it alone.

oh, and we carried it all so well

•°•°•

Tag List:

@whumpacabra @enteredin2eternity @kixngiggles @whumpsday @kiichu @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump @shywhumpauthor @distinctlywhumpthing , @bloodinkandashes , @fleur-alise , @whumpy-daydreams , @whumpwillow , @honeycollectswhump , @snakebites-and-ink

#you don't know how long i spent finding lyrics #im not even fully satisfied with the ones i went with because they aren't -perfect- but ive spent too long scrolling through playlists lolo #wildefire #cinderglass #tw alcohol #alcohol whump #emeto #hallucinations #withdrawals #angst #anon #so sorry this took forever #anyway this may be a little cheesy but lex needs some sappiness in his life #I STARTED WRITING THIS IN NOVEMBER HOLY SHIT FSJDBSKKD

[worldlxvlys]

complicated (part 1)

chris sturniolo x reader

matt sturniolo x reader

warnings: making out, mentions of sex, suggestive, angst, cursing

a/n: this one is longggg so i broke it up into 3 parts. i already wrote parts 2 and 3 so they’ll be up soonnn :)

matt, chris, and i were all chilling together in their living room.

nick had gone to his room to start editing a little while ago.

matt and i were seated next to each other on the couch, chris sitting on the loveseat.

my relationship with the two of them was complicated.

matt was my best friend, he knew me like the back of his hand. with one look at me he could tell what i was feeling.

we spent so much time together, we were often with each other longer than we were apart .

we were so close that we blurred the lines between friends and something more every now and then. but it never went further than lingering touches and almost kisses.

i’m not sure why, but late nights staying up talking have often led to our lips being mere centimeters apart lately.

i chalked it up to sleep deprivation and getting caught up in the heat of the moment.

chris, however, was different. i wasn’t as close to him as i was matt, but the few times where it was just us hanging out, i always had fun.

there was this unspoken tension between chris and i. we never said anything about it, but we were both well aware it was there.

he made flirty comments toward me whenever matt wasn’t in the room, finding joy in my flustered state that resulted from it.

i never let anything happen though, out of respect for matt being my best friend.

it seemed like chris made it his mission to get me to break, constantly testing my self-control.

the three of us had just finished watching a movie, watching as the credits began to roll.

immediately, matt stood up, patting my knee as he did so.

“alright, i’m gonna get food. you guys coming?” he asked.

chris stood up as soon as matt asked the question.

“no, i’m good” i answered, not feeling like getting up.

chris glanced at me for a second before answering, “actually, i’m not really hungry”

matt narrowed his eyes in confusion before shrugging and beginning to leave.

“alright, i’ll be back in a little” he said before leaving.

chris walked over to me, replacing matt’s spot as he sat down next to me.

“wanna listen to some music?” he asked as he grabbed the tv remote.

“sure” i answered, watching as his long fingers worked the remote.

“why didn’t you go?” i asked, watching him from the corner of my eye.

i watched as he clicked shuffle on a playlist, before the room was filled with the melody of a song.

wet the bed - chris brown

“chris, you’re not fucking serious right now” i deadpanned as the suggestive lyrics played out.

“i didn’t pick the song” he held his hands up in defense. “i just picked a chris brown playlist, i know you like his music” he said.

i just wanna take your legs and wrap 'em round

girl, you cummin' right now

my head to your chest feelin’ your heartbeat, girl

“how do you know that?” i asked, confused.

“you’re always listening to his music, so i assumed you liked it. i mean, unless you just listen to music you hate for fun”

“i didn’t realize you were paying attention” i said.

“of course i am. you make it hard to focus on anything else”

i don't want to be a minute man

baby, you're just like a storm rainin' on me

girl, your soakin' wet

i turned my body towards his as he caught my attention.

“what do you mean? do you find me distracting?” i asked, leaning forward slightly.

“you know i do” he said as his eyes traveled down to my lips.

i’ma kiss you right (yeah, yeah)

i'm gon' lick all night (yeah, yeah)

girl, when i'm inside (yeah, yeah)

“why’d you stay?” i whispered as i stopped myself from pushing my lips to his. “you know damn well you wanted to go”

“i did, but i wanted to stay with you more” he said.

“why?” i asked as he rested his forehead against mine. he placed his hand on my thigh, lightly gripping the side of it.

“because i want you” he breathed out, hooking my leg over his waist to straddle him.

yeah, girl, you heard what I said

i'm gonna make you wet the bed

i looked down at him, steadying myself by grabbing his shoulders.

“we really shouldn’t chris” i spoke as my lips brushed against hit.

“definitely not” he spoke against my lips, his eyes closed.

“it’s wrong” i whispered.

“but one kiss wouldn’t hurt, right?” he asked, his hands running up and down my waist.

“chris” i sighed.

“please, i need it so bad” his hands now traveled down to my ass.

“just one-” his lips were on mine the second i spoke the words.

i'ma put your legs behind your head

when I make you wet the bed

my hands found their way to his hair as his lips moved greedily against mine.

one of his hands found my jaw, holding it steady as he deepened the kiss, tilting his head.

after a while, we pulled away for air. “one more” he spoke before attaching his lips back to mine, barely giving me time to breathe.

one more turned into two more, two turned into three, and before i knew it i was lost in the way his lips pressed against mine.

his hands traveled to my ass, squeezing it, eliciting a moan from me.

when i let out a gasp in surprise, he slid his tongue past my lips.

“what the fuck ?” came a voice from behind us.

i pulled my lips away from chris, moving off of his lap.

“matt-” i began before he cut me off. “what? what excuse could you possibly give me right now?” he asked.

“look, i’m sorry that i hurt you, but i’m an adult. i don’t really need to give an excuse for anything i do” i spoke defensively.

“whatever” he scoffed as he shook his head, “ i brought you food for later, i knew you’d probably get hungry anyway. but i guess i’m the only one here who thinks about other people” he spoke in a low voice before walking away.

my face dropped at that, starting to feel bad about not considering his feelings at all.

“hey, if you wanna blame someone, blame me. i’m the one who kept pushing you, so please don’t blame yourself” chris spoke, practically seeing the gears turning in my head.

“yeah” i whispered in response, still feeling incredibly guilty.

“hold on, i’ll be back. i’m gonna go talk to him” he spoke, squeezing my hand before going off to matt’s room.

after sitting there in anticipation for a few minutes, i began to get nervous. not knowing what was going on was killing me.

my body moved quicker than my brain as i got up and made my way towards matt’s room. i pressed my ear to the door, listening to what they were saying.

“you know how i feel about her” matt’s muffled voice traveled through the door.

“you barely even hang out with her, you just want her because you know you shouldn’t” matt continued.

“you like the thrill of having to sneak around, and chasing after someone you can’t have. you never once showed any interest in her before i did, now suddenly you just have to have her?” matt asked.

“it’s not like that, matt. i don’t hang out with her often because whenever i do, you accuse me of stealing her away from you” chris started, but was cut off by matt.

“that’s not true, and you know it. you can’t just warp the truth to support the sorry excuses you come up with. just admit it, you don’t actually want her” matt said.

“that’s the thing, matt, i do want her. i just didn’t wanna make it obvious, since you obviously can’t handle that”

“what i can’t handle is the way you think you’re entitled to do whatever the hell you want. did you ever stop to think about what this would do to my friendship with her? or my relationship with you? do you ever think about anything other than yourself?” matt asked.

it didn’t seem like their conversation was going anywhere. the second they started to get somewhere, someone would throw an insult at the other.

deciding to intervene, i knocked on the door loudly. the arguing stopped immediately and the door opened a few seconds later.

i was met with an angry matt, but his face softened as soon as he saw me.

knowing i wanted to be let in, he moved to the side to let me pass. he closed the door behind me, watching as i went to sit on his bed.

“look, i’m sorry guys. i shouldn’t have kissed chris, it was a mistake. the last thing i ever want to do is break the bond that you guys have. let’s just forget this ever happened” i said to them.

“no” chris started, taking me by surprise. “i want you to pick”

“what?” i asked, my face dropping at this.

“chose who you want to be with. it doesn’t make sense for us to fight over you, it’s your decision. whoever you decide to stay friends with won’t take it personal, right matt?” chris asked.

“yeah, we’re not gonna force you into anything you don’t want. if the feelings aren’t there, then they aren’t there” matt agreed.

two minutes ago they were arguing uncontrollably and now they were able to come to an agreement in seconds? this was weird.

“so, who do you want?” chris asked.

who do i want? i had no clue.

i loved spending time with chris, but what if matt was right? what if i only enjoyed the thrill of having someone i can’t have ? was that worth jeopardizing my friendship with either of them over?

and matt? i had such a deep connection with him, i didn’t want to lose him. if i fucked up our friendship, i’d never forgive myself for it. the last thing i ever wanted to do was hurt him, yet that was exactly what i was doing in the moment.

“i don’t know, i don’t even think i can pick” i spoke honestly.

“then why not give us both a shot?” chris asked.

“wait, what ?” i asked, confused.

“well, you wanna see if this is more than just tension, right ? and you wanna know if you have feelings for matt?” he asked.

“i mean, yeah” i answered.

“well, there’s a way to answer both of those questions” he spoke as he pointed to the bed.

my eyes widened at the implication , “sex?”

“if it’ll help you decide who you want, then why not?” chris asked.

“that’s not really the first approach i would’ve taken, but he’s not wrong” matt hesitantly agreed.

“obviously sex isn’t the only factor that goes into a relationship, but you already know all of the other factors. you know how we treat you outside of the bed, so maybe the key to your decision is what happens in it” matt spoke.

“i mean, if you don’t want to that’s fine but-” chris started. “i’m in” i cut him off.

“so, who’s first?” i asked playfully.

“me” chris spoke eagerly, “i mean, we should finish what we started earlier, right?” he tried to cover up his excitement.

“alright, get out of my room” matt started, ushering us out. “and please don’t be loud, i don’t wanna hear that shit”

🌀🌀🌀🌀

next part

masterlist

tag list: @lustfulslxt @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @queen161718 @cupidsword @imwetforyourmom @nickmillersn1gf @mattsneezing @chrisstankyleg @sturniolobltch @ciarasturn1 @bethsturn @bernardenjoyer @mbbsgf @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @ssturniolo @blueeyedbesson @mxqdii @sturniolowhore @readerakayourname @defnotayonna @urmom2bitch @rootbeerworshiper @starsturniolo @hearts4chriss @theyluv-meee @carolinalikesthings @itzdarling @chrisstopherfilmed @judespoision @sstvrnioloo @littlebookworm803 @nicksdrpepper @chrisloyalgf @robins-scoop @fandomhopped @chr1sgirl4life @bbglmfao @55sturn @sturniolololover @meg-sturniolo @mattsnymphette @leah-loves-lilies @vanteguccir @ineedchriscock @junnniiieee07

#christopher sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo fanfic #christopher sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo x you #chris sturniolo x reader #chris x reader #chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo fic #sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo fic #matthew sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo imagine #matt sturniolo smut #matthew sturniolo #matt #matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo imagine #sturniolo fanfic

[yuujispinkhair]

Sukuna gave up on love years ago. But somehow, your eyes and your smile are all he can think about. -> This is part of my Blog Anniversary Event. A sweet anon requested the song "Lovebug" by the Jonas Brothers.

Pairing: Modern!CEO Sukuna x Reader (female) Genre: fluff Word Count: 700 Warnings: Mentions of alcohol. Sukuna and Reader meet as business partners, and feelings spark between them. All characters are of age. Minors don't interact.

God, it's ridiculous!

Sukuna slams his vodka glass down on his desk, laughing and shaking his head. He isn't a sentimental person. He isn't one of those fools who let their emotions get the better of them. He knows love is more trouble than anything else, and he isn't chasing it anymore. He decided years ago to stop doing that. No, Sukuna hasn't been looking for love for a long time.

And yet, all it took was one business phone call followed by an afternoon and a dinner spent with you, and now he can't stop this weird feeling from spreading through his chest. He sees your smile even when he closes his eyes. He still smells your perfume even though it can't linger on his skin after such a short moment of holding your hand and bringing it to his lips to kiss it.

It is highly ridiculous. And irresponsible. And foolish.

He swore off love. Swore off everything that could tear down his walls. And he is good at this, brilliant even. No one can see beneath Itadori Sukuna's mask of arrogance and indifference!

And yet your eyes looked at him with that knowing look. As if you could see right through him. As if you knew.

You treated him differently than the others. Your eyes didn't stray to his expensive watch or his car keys. You didn't order the most expensive meal off the menu when he said he would pay. You didn't act mysterious or slutty or any of those other things the others did, who were always so calculating, so desperately trying to fit into the image of the perfect doll, not realizing that it only made them seem fake.

There is nothing fake about you. You didn't hold back your laughter during dinner. You didn't worry about smearing your lipstick while eating. Your makeup was light, and the eyeliner applied a bit crookedly. It made his heart do a flip somehow. You didn't shy away from sharing a huge dessert with him, smiling and rolling your eyes in pleasure at how delicious it tasted. He had chuckled in genuine amusement and joy when you pushed a spoonful of ice cream towards him, telling him he simply had to try it.

So light. That's it. He feels so light when he is around you. It's as if all the small and big stresses of his busy CEO life just vanished into thin air, and instead, the sun is shining on him, and he can breathe in clear, fresh air.

He catches himself smiling as he thinks of how you snorted with laughter about one of his dry comments. Usually, none of those women laugh about his humor. And it's not just that you think he is funny. You replied with the same humor, making him laugh too.

He sighs and turns off his computer. It's late at night. Time to go home and get some rest. But not before he grabs his phone and types a quick message to you, thanking you for the lovely evening and wishing you a good night. He only hesitates for a small moment before he adds, "I would like to see you again. I know a place with even better dessert variations for two."

He is surprised by the smile he spots on his face in the mirrored walls of the elevator when he receives your reply, telling him that you would love to share a dessert with him again.

A catchy love song starts playing on his drive home. The type of song that Sukuna usually finds annoying and which would lead to him changing the radio station. But not tonight. Tonight, he lets it play, and maybe he hums a bit in tune with the melody. Maybe he feels a little fluttery sensation when hearing the lyrics about freshly found love.

Maybe all he can think of are your eyes and your smile and how good it felt to sit there with you and talk and laugh and not even realize how many hours had already slipped by, so caught up in his conversation with you. So caught up in your eyes.

He isn't someone who catches feelings easily. He thought for a long time that he had managed to become immune to all of this.

But does a man who is immune to falling in love hum along to a stupid catchy lovesong? Does a man who gave up on love smile to himself while he pictures your laugh?

Maybe the lovebug bit him after all. And maybe he is glad it did

Thank you so much for participating in my event! I hope you enjoyed this little story!! I am swooning so much thinking about spending a flirty business dinner with CEO Sukuna aww!!

Comments and reblogs would be sweet!!

#sukuna x reader #sukuna x you #sukuna fluff #sukuna #jjk x reader #jjk x you

[bbrissonn]

𝐚𝐥𝐥-𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡 - 𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐚 𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐢

summary: in which no matter how much you tried, you were never good enough for him and you decide it was time for things to get messy within the hockey team

disclaimer: english is not my first language and this is not proofread so please excuse any errors and if any words are missing add them in your head :) also this is a work of fiction, this doesn’t reflect how these boys act in real life, and it isn’t how i imagine them acting 

warnings: angst, swearing , not proofread  

pairing: luca fantili x reader

wc: 5.4k (including lyrics)

a/n: i gave some guys on the team a girlfriend, completely random name so don't go trying to find them lol

guts masterlist

I am light as a feather, I’m as stiff as a board

I pay attention to things that most people ignore

And I’m alright with the movies

That make jokes ‘bout senseless cruelty, that’s for sure

And I am built like a mother and a total machine

I feel for your every little issues, I know just what you mean

And I make light of the darkness

I’ve got sun in my motherfuckin’ pocket, best believe

Yeah, you know me, I

You tried, you really did. You took note of every little things he’d mention, hoping that it would be useful in the long run, hoping he’d noticed how much you cared about him. You waited and waited and waited, but it never happened. All the efforts you made to be the perfect girlfriend for him always went unnoticed, brushed to the side. 

You always made sure you looked your best whenever you’d go to his game, wanting to fit the role of the stereotype hockey girlfriend, even though you were far from it. Your body wasn’t as slim and fit as the others and you didn’t have a model like face, but Luca always though you were perfect. You didn’t believe most of time, there were hundreds of girl, prettier girls, that would jump at the occasion to be his girlfriend, so why had he chosen you? 

You went to every single home game, even if it’d meant you’d have to stay up late to do homework, you even went to the games at Michigan State. You were always there to support him, but he was never there for you. You knew it was hard for him to always be free, not having access to his phone for a solid three hours during the afternoon, and when he’d get back to his dorm, he’d fall asleep right away. You never really saw him much during the days, with him having all his classes in the morning, while yours were mainly in the afternoon, nights were the only time you could see each other. 

Even when you spent time together, it was rarely alone. He was close to all his teammates and apparently spending all afternoon together wasn’t enough for them and they always needed to spend their nights together. You two barely ever got alone time, but you tried not to think about it too much since Luca was always more focused on you than his teammates sprawled around his shared dorm room. 

His teammates liked you, you were nice to all of them the moment you met them and they could see how much Luca liked you. Some of them didn’t really understand what he saw in you, something you wish you didn’t know as you overheard them one night during a get together at the senior house. 

You had been outside for a while now, talking to your mom on the phone as you walked around the small backyard of the senior house. Luca was with you for the first couple of minutes of your call, talking to your mom a bit before heading back inside and letting you have alone time with her. As you started making your way back to the backdoor, you saw a couple of figures standing there, nothing unsual. You were planning on just walking past them, smiling at them and letting them go along with their conversation until you heard your name. 

“Wait, who are we talking about again?” Dylan asked the others, before taking a sip of his beer. 

“Y/n.” You heard Johnny answer, and you stopped dead in your tracks. You knew you shouldn’t, it was wrong, but you couldn’t help it. They couldn’t see you since you were on the side of the porch, and no lights were they, you were like a ghost. 

“Oh, yeah, totally agree with you man. Don’t get me wrong, she’d nice and all, but like she barely ever talks.” The Duke boy said, making a couple other guys agree with him. 

“Exactly, what does he even see in her, anyways?” One of them said, making your smile drop. 

“She’s just shy, doesn’t like big groups, that’s all. Once you get to know her, she’s always talking, it’s great ‘cause Luca leaves me alone now. She’s makes him happy, that’s all the really matters.” You recognized Adam say, making your smile grow a little. Over the last six months, you had grown quite close to your boyfriend’s little brother, and hearing him defend you warmed your heart. 

“Dude, all we’re saying is he could do better.” 

“Whatever, I’m going back inside.” Adam said, and soon you heard the door open and all the figures disappeared. You stood there for a while, thinking about everything that you had heard. Your feelings being hurt a little before shaking it all off and walking back inside, quickly finding your boyfriend, who was standing with his brother. 

You never told Luca, or any of them that you had heard their conversation. You knew Luca would get mad at his teammates, and that was the last thing you wanted. You did realize that after that night, Adam started being even nicer to you, always telling you how happy you made your brother, and how thankful he was that you were the one making him this happy. He truly felt like your own little brother in a way.

But something in you changed that day, whenever you’d be having the smallest interaction with any of them, there would always be a voice in the back of your mind reminding you of that conversation. So, you didn’t make much effort to become good friends with any of them, clearly most of you didn’t even think you should be dating their teammate so why would they want to be friends with you? 

Luca wasn’t exactly happy that you weren’t that close to anyone, but you were with Adam, so he considered it a win. He always reminded himself that just because his teammates were his best friend didn’t mean they had to be yours too, he just happy none of them hated you. 

As time went by, you’d now notice some of the weird looks his teammates would give themselves whenever you’d hug Luca after their game, or when you’d be with him at a party and his arms was always around you. But you didn’t let it bother you, you were happy in your relationship, you didn’t need the opinion of other’s, and honestly, they didn’t really have a right to be judging two people for being in love with one another. 

You didn’t know whether or not your boyfriend knew about how some of his best friends felt about your relationship, but you really hoped he didn’t. If he did, it would break you, that he knew what his friends were saying and thinking, but didn’t defend you like his brother had, or that he hadn’t told you about it. 

That all changed one cold night in February.

You were currently standing outside of the Yost arena, Luca had texted you barely minutes before telling you to go wait outside for him. You didn’t really understand why, considering how cold it was, but you did anyways. No one else was around, all the spectators had left almost an hour ago, and all the other girlfriends were waiting inside, in the warmth of the arena. 

“Hey.” You heard your boyfriends voice, making you turn around with a bright smile. 

“Hi, baby. You played amazing!” You told him, rushing over to his warm body and hiding in his arms. The boy chuckled a bit before wrapping his arms around you. 

“I need to talk to you about something.” He mumbled after a couple of seconds, making you pull away from his body. Your hands reached down to his arms, that had fallen from your shoulders, your mittens covered hands holding his bare ones. 

“What’s up, loves?” You asked, only to be met with a sigh from him. Your smile dropped right away, what was going on? 

“I need you to know that I am sorry, okay?” You nodded slightly, confused as to why he was saying that. “I think it’d be better if we weren’t together anymore.”

“What?” 

“I just- I need to focus on hockey, and school.” 

“Oh.” You whispered, your hands letting go of his and falling next to your body. A heavy sigh left your mouth as you tried your hardest not to cry. “O-okay.” 

“So, we’re good?” His question broke you. Not you weren’t, you were far from good. The boy you had fallen in love with in early September had just broken up with you, how were you supposed to be okay with that?

“We’re good.” You lied. Luca smile brightly before giving you and small hug, and before you knew it, he was gone. You were left all alone outside in the freezing cold as he headed back to his friends, ready to enjoy their night, while you were left heartbroken. 

Maybe his friends were right after all…

Forgive and I forget

I know my age and I act like it

Got what you can’t resist

I’m a perfect all-American

The next week was hell, everywhere you went, you’d see one of his teammates. It was like they had all mutually agreed to just be everywhere you were, follow you around just to make you remember every single second of every day that your relationship with Luca was over. 

But clearly he hadn’t even told him, the text from Adam asking if you two had gotten into a fight since you hadn’t been to their dorm in a couple of days, and Luca was talking about everything but you. Your feelings were hurt a little, that he wasn’t even acting like your break-up fazed him at all, like everything in his life was perfect. It hurt even more that you had to be the one to break to news to his brother, scared that Adam would choose to break off all links of communication the two of you had. 

Luckily for you, he didn’t, if anything, to him it just gave you an extra reason to become even closer to him. He knew how much you loved his brother and how much Luca loved you, so he truly didn’t understand why his older brother had done it in the first place. Just because you and Luca weren’t together anymore, didn’t mean you had to lose him too, were his exact words. You knew in that moment that you had a real friend in Adam, one that you wanted to keep for the rest of your life. 

You hadn’t gone to any hockey game after that, no matter how much Adam begged, you weren’t ready to go back to the place where your relationship ended. But when the team had made it to the semi-finals of the big ten championship, facing off again Ohio State, you knew you had to be there. Even though you weren’t physically at the games, you were still watching from home, your heart dropping every time Luca’s name would be mentioned. 

Being back felt weird, it was a place you had grown so fond off, watching your boyfriend and your so-called friends play the sports they love with each other, befriending all the other girlfriends, it was truly special. But it was so different now, you felt like you didn’t belong here anymore. Adam had tried to convince you to seat in the same seat Luca always had for you, but you didn’t want to, not wanting to face all the other girlfriends yet. 

You came with your best friends, so you wouldn’t be alone, and made sure to be near the back rows, you knew the boys always liked to spot people in the crowds, and you didn’t want them to know you were here. You had made Adam promise not to tell anyone you were here, and that you’d wait for him after the game in your car all the way at the end of the parking lot. He was the only one on the team you wanted to see tonight, you came here for him and only him, and because your best friends wouldn’t shut up about going. 

Unknown to you, Luca had spotted you the minute he stepped onto the ice. He hated to admit it, but his eyes still searched for you in the crowd, only he was always met with disappointment when he would not find you. Tonight was different, you were here. Part of him felt like he should be happy you were, or even sad, seeing as it was the first he’d seen you since the break-up. But he wasn’t, no he was angry. Why? He didn’t know. 

After the game ended, with Adam getting two goals and two assists, your friends had gone home right away, tired from all the yelling they had done during the night. So, you waited alone in your car, making sure to park right under a street light so Adam could spot you easily, and so you could see if any weirdos were approaching. 

Luca had left before his brother, Johnny and Gavin walking next to him as they walked out of Yost, and that’s when he saw your car. He knew he should’ve just ignored it, kept walking home, but he couldn’t. He knew you were here for his brother and him only, Adam had told him after Luca corned him after the warm ups. The right thing was to just leave you alone, pretend he didn’t see you, but his legs were moving faster than his brain was. 

The loud knock on your window made you jump, yelping at bit at the sound. You looked to your left, only to be met with an angry Luca. You bit your lip slightly before rolling down your window enough so you two could hear each other. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” He asked. His tone was harsh and mean, something you had never heard from him before. 

“I am here for Adam, so if you don’t mind, I’d like for you to step away from my car and leave me alone.” You answered him, matching his tone. If he wanted to be a bitch to you after he broke up with you, then he better be expecting the same energy back. 

“You shouldn’t be here.” 

“And who are you to be telling me this? Last time I checked, this is a public parking lot, so I have every right to be here.” You said, you knew that wasn’t what he meant, but you didn’t care. He had no right to walk over here, and talk to you like this. 

“You know that’s not what I fucking meant.” 

“Am I not allowed to cheer for my school? Is that illegal now, Luca?” You said harshly. Luca’s eyes were staring into yours, and you could tell he was holding back from yelling, which scared you a little. 

“You have some nerves-” 

“Oh, I have some nerves? You broke up with me, Luca, not the other way around, and your stupid if you think that’s gonna stop me from coming to see Adam play. I am not here because I wanted to see, if that’s what you’re thinking. I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for Adam. So, get whatever stick you have shoved up your ass out of it and leave me alone.” You said firmly before closing your window and going back on your phone. Luca started knocking over and over on your window, but you didn’t move. You were done with this for the night. After about a minute or two, the boy ended up sending you a text, making you roll your eyes. 

Luca 

ur so fucking petty omg, grow the fuck up and get out of your car

You let out a scoff before turning to look at him with a ‘are you serious’ face. If you were being petty, you didn’t even know what word was describing him at the moment. Thankfully, Adam arrived and the two of them began bickering like little children until the older boy eventually walked away, not before sending you a death glare, and the younger one joined you in your car. 

You started driving immediately, neither of you talked, but you feel Adam’s gaze on you every once in a while. This was exactly why you didn’t want to come to the games before, something was bound to go wrong. 

“I am sorry.” He mumbled after a couple of minutes as the car was stopped at a red light. When you turned your head to look over at him, his eyes were already looking in your direction. 

“It’s whatever. He’s an asshole.” 

I am light as a feather, I’m as fresh as the air

Coca-Cola bottles that I only use to curl my hair

I got class and integrity

Just like a goddamn Kennedy, I swear

With love to spare, I

About a week later, you were laying in bed, your laptop on your lap as you watched the team celebrate their win. Adam had played wonderfully and you couldn’t be prouder of him. Your heart still dropped a little every time the commentators would mention Luca, and even more when they showed the boys after the game. 

You knew it was wrong, you shouldn’t be thinking this way, but you couldn’t help it. He looked so good with his slightly damp hair, the wide smile on his face as he hugged all of his best friends making you smile as well. But you quickly reminded yourself of what he had done and said, making you close your laptop in a heartbeat. 

You then sent a text to Adam, congratulating him for their victory before going to bed. Well, you just laid in bed in the dark, your phone’s screen being the only source of light. Adam answered you almost an hour later, thanking you and saying he’d call you the next morning. You went to sleep not too long after answering him, wishing him a good night and a safe flight home. 

It was almost noon when the younger Fantili boy called you the next day, you could tell he had gone to bed very late, well early this morning. His voice was still a little stuffy like he had just woken up, making you giggle. The two of you chated for a while before he informed you the hockey team was throwing a party that was pretty much open to all students. He hadn’t invited you directly, but made sure to state very clearly that you were always welcomed if you wanted to stop by for a bit. 

You almost laughed at his words, he was a little delusional if he though you’d like the spend the night with your drunk ex who’d probably be making out with a girl the whole time. He was a little sad when you told him you probably wouldn’t come, but he understood, especially after whatever Luca had said to you last week. 

Weirdly enough though, as the clock hit seven at night, you were standing in your bathroom, getting ready for said party. Why? Revenge. You knew deep down what you were about to do was fucked up, but you didn’t care. They deserved it, all of them, Luca more than the other, but they still did. All those people who pretended to be your friend, only to act like you didn’t even exist the moment you and Luca broke up. Not to mention that conversation you over heard was constantly replaying in your head since your break-up. Yeah, they deserved it. 

Realistically, your plan wasn’t that mean, you’d just be ruining a night celebrating a victory they had worked so hard for during  the whole season. You had gotten some information through Adam that the boys always “shit talked” some of the other girlfriends, of course without mentioning what you had heard from them. Long story short, at least one of them all had a problem with someone’s girlfriend, but they never said anything to the boyfriends. Pretty fake in your opinion, because truth be told, they weren’t really brothers like they always said, they didn’t like some at least. 

When you walked into the senior house, the place wasn’t that full, but this wasn’t any surprise to you considering it had started almost four hours ago already and most people had probably went home by now. Finding Adam was pretty easy, he was in the kitchen refilling his cup when you gently tapped his shoulder. A wide smile appeared on his face when his eyes met yours and his arms quickly wrapped around your waist. 

“You came?” He asked surprised as the two of you pulled away and he grabbed an empty clean cup for you. 

“Got a little bored, I guess.” You told him, filling your cup with water. You hadn’t came here to get drunk out of your mind like all the others here, you came here with an endgame. 

“Well ‘m glad you did. I think I saw that girl you always talk about from your English class, you-” 

“Cool, I’ll go find her!” You lied before walking away from him. Honestly, you didn’t really care that she was here, your eyes not bothering to find her as you walked through the house, spotting the group of girlfriends immediately. They were all chatting between them, but quickly stopped when they realized you were standing there. 

“Oh, please, don’t let my presence disturb your little conversation.” You said with a smirk, only making all of them look at you with weird looks. 

“What’re you doing here?” Ethan’s girlfriend, Hailey, asked. The two of you were never really close, same with Nolan’s girlfriend, Taylor. 

“I just really wanted to say how it’s so cute that you’re all able to be friends with each other and like one another, unlike all the guys. Real cute.” 

“The fuck does that mean?” This time it was Jacob’s girlfriend, Bianca, who spoke. You looked over at her, sending a massive grin before answering. 

“I am just saying, some of them are real good at pretending to be your friends, but then go shit talk about you to each other.” You said, before showing them the text message Adam had sent you. It clearly stated that they all talked about the other guys’ girlfriends badly, but never in front of whoever they were dating. Clearly just showing that they’re “we’re brothers” thing they’d always say whenever a new girlfriend was introduced was complete bullshit. 

“How do we know it’s not fake?” 

“It happened to me too. Heard a couple of them talking about me outside one night. Go ask your boyfriends if you don’t believe me.” You shrugged before walking away from them. A smirk was plastered on your face as you stood outside, sipping on your water, knowing the girls were confronting the boys at the same moment. 

You were standing outside for a couple of minutes before Adam joined you, giving you a stern look.

“What’d you do?” 

“Nothing.” You said, your smirk only growing as you looked inside, the house now empty of all the strangers. The only people left were the players and their girlfriends, who all looked like they were not having a pleasant conversation. Well, that was until all the guys started yelling at each other. 

“Y/n.” Adam mumbled sternly, making you roll your eyes. 

“I just told them the truth. About how you all talk shit about them behind their backs, but then none of you have the guts to say it to each other. I mean, why would they right, you couldn’t tell me or Luca.” Suddenly, you found yourself angry at the boy in front of you. He had let both you and Luca that your couple was loved by all of them, let you believe they were all your friends. His face turned white at your words, only making you scoff. 

“Y/n…”

“It’s pathetic really, all that bullshit about you guys being like brothers, but then you pull some shit like this.” You cut him off. Right as Adam was about to say something else, the sliding door behind you opened and your body was pulled inside the house.

Forgive and I forget

I know my age and I act like it

Got what you can’t resist

I’m a perfect all-American Bitch

With perfect all-American lips

And perfect all-American hips

I know my place

I know my place and this is it

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Someone asked as you now stood infront of everyone, all the guys looking at you with angry eyes, while the girls all hugged each other, some of them crying. 

“I think the real question here is, what the fuck is wrong with all of you? Talk shit behind our backs and then acting like your our friends five minutes later. If you don’t like someone, don’t fucking pretend like you do and then shit talk them when they can hear you.” You spat, your eyes looking between all of them until you spotted Luca, who was standing all alone in a corner. “Hoping that your “brother’s” goes to shit ‘cause you don’t like who they’re dating. Seriously, how old are you? How insecure of yourself do you have to be to say things like this?” 

The house was silent after, all the girls were nodding at your words. The boys, well at least the guilty ones, all looked at the ground, while the innocent ones looked angry and pissed, but not at you anymore, at each other. 

When none of them said anything for a solid minutes, you just scoffed and made your way out of the house. You had done what you came here to do. You started walking down the sidewalk, back towards your dorm, when you heard someone call out your name. You turned around, only to see Luca chasing after you. 

“I didn’t know, I swear-” 

“I know you didn’t, Luca.” You cut him off with a soft smile. 

“I didn’t break up with you because of them. I really like you, I really do. You’re amazing, Y/n. But, I just… I don’t want a relationship right now.” He explained, your smile turning into a sad one. 

“I get it. I want you to be happy, Lu, and if that means us not being together, then I’m okay with it.” It pained you to say it, but it was true. All you wanted for the boy was to be happy, and if that meant you having to leave his life, you were okay with it. 

“‘M not saying never, though. The way I feel about you, I’ve never felt this way for anyone before. Like… I don’t how to explain it-”

“Right person, wrong time?” You asked with a slight smirk on his face, making the boy in front of you smile slightly. 

“Yeah.” 

“Let me know whenever the right time comes, yeah?” You asked softly, the boy nodding slightly before resting his forehead against yours. 

“I’m sorry about how I broke up with you, you deserved a better explanation.” He whispered, closing his eyes as he let his body relax. Your right hand moved up, cupping his cheek and you could feel him lean into your touch. 

“It’s okay, Lulu.” 

“But it’s not. I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t have done it that way. And I shouldn’t have came to your car and talked to you like that. I am so sorry, baby.” He said, as snow started falling from the sky. You could tell how deeply he meant his words, his voice cracking slightly. 

“Hey, look at me.” You whispered, gently tapping his cheek that you were still holding. After a couple of seconds his eyes opened and stared right back at yours. “It’s okay. It’s in the past.”

“You should hate me.” 

“I don’t think I could ever hate you, Luca.” You admitted, bitting your lip gently as the boy smiled down at you. “I really need to go home.” 

“I’ll walk you.” 

“It’s alright. I think they need you more than I do.” You said, nodding towards the senior house, making Luca sigh a bit. 

“Always have to clean up your mess, don’t I?” He joked, making you giggle slightly. 

“I’ll see you around, Lu.” You mumbled before pressing a kiss to his other cheek and walking away from him. The Fantili boy stood there for a bit, a smile on his face as he watched you make your way back to your dorm. Once you disappeared at the end of the street, the boy turned around and slowly started making his way back to the house. 

When he walked in, all the girls were gone, and the boys were now just all yelling at each other. Some were trying to calm the tension that was rising in the room, but didn’t succeed. Only, when Luca walked in, the room went quiet and everyone looked at him. Luca’s eyes found Adam’s, and the younger boy immediately knew what had happened out there, well almost. He for sure thought they had gotten back together, but he was close enough. 

“God, don’t tell me you got back with her?” Johnny said harshly, making Luca’s smile flatten as he looked over to his “best friend”. 

“Why do you care? Last time I check, who I date isn’t any of your business.” Luca sassed, making his younger brother smile slightly. 

“She ruined the night!” One of the guys called out, making Luca roll his eyes. 

“She said the truth. Maybe if you guys hadn’t talked behind their backs, none of this would’ve happened. I’m going home.” The boy mumbled before leaving the senior household once again, Adam following behind him. 

“So, are you guys back together?” The forward asked after a couple of minutes of them walking back to their dorm. 

“No. But, in the future we will, I know it.”

All the time

I’m grateful all the time

I’m sexy and I’m kind

I’m pretty when I cry

Oh, all the time

I’m grateful all the time (Greatful all the fucking time)

I’m sexy and I’m kind

I’m pretty when I cry

When summer came around, you had promised both Fantili boys you’d keep close touch with them, especially Adam since he’d be heading off to Columbus next season, which pained you a little, but you were happy for him. 

As the months passed by, you and Luca talked more and more every day, something Adam noticed and was quick to bring up to his brother. Luca was smiling at his phone all the time, and overall was just in a better mood than when you two had broken up. The older brother shrugged him off, claiming he was imaginating things, but they both knew it was a lie. 

You were over the moon when you arrived in Michigan, only to find that both brothers were already there, and a time to meet was quickly set. During your little hang out, it was clear to Adam that you and Luca were truly meant to be together, you both had giant smiles whenever you’d be talking to the other. For a majority of the night, it was mainly just the two of you in your own little world, but Adam didn’t care, Luca was happy, you were happy, and that’s all that mattered to him. 

“Don’t fuck this up, dude.” Adam whispered in his brother’s ear as the two of them hugged goodbye. Luca had admitted to him that he was planning on asking you out soon, something that almost made the younger boy scream. 

“I won’t.” And he didn’t. He asked you out, again, and you said yes, again, a week later. The two of you were just hanging in your dorm, you were complaining about how much homework you already had when he just blurred the question out. You were a little shock, but quickly agreed. 

When Luca told his teammates the two of you were back together, he received some questioning looks, but he just ignored them. He thought you were perfect, and that’s all that mattered to him. He didn’t care if his friends didn’t like you, he did and they’d need to learn how to deal with you being around even if they didn’t like you. 

You made him happy, and that’s all they should care about.

#bri writes #guts series #luca fantilli #luca fantilli imagine #luca fantili blurb #luca fantilli x reader #luca fantilli fluff #luca fantilli angst #umich hockey #umich hockey imagine #umich hockey angst

[natsgrave]

TOLERATE IT | elizabeth olsen

While you were out building other worlds, where was I? You assume I'm fine, but what would you do if I break free and leave us in ruins? ( story inspired by @taylorswift song bcs i love her sm ) i'm not sure if someone else already wrote something like this or what, but if you see a story quite similar to this, let me know so i could give them a proper credit. thankyou!! ( colored wording would be the lyrics ) i do not give permission for my work to be copied or translated on other sites. plagiarism is a crime!! masterlist

Y/N'S POV Lizzie and I had been together for five years. We met in college, fell deeply in love, and spent countless nights talking about our dreams and aspirations. We were each other's rock, supporting each other through thick and thin.

But how can a perfect relationship turn into a toxic one where we barely talk anymore?

I sit and watch you reading with your head low

I don't know what happened. I don't know how to fix it, it that I didn't even know exist. One second we were fine then the next, we're like strangers.

All I could do is sit here and watch her read the script for her new movie. Reading with her head low and sitting far away from me, almost as if I have a disease. As if there's an invisible wall between us.

We would always sit in silence, her pretending to watch TV or read books, but the tension between us was palpable. I know she could feel my eyes on her, but she never spared me a glance. It was as if she was avoiding me intentionally.

Minutes ticked by, and I decided to make her food. After making anchovy, I gently touch her on the shoulder. She jumped, startled, and looked up to find me standing next to her, holding out a plate.

"I made you your favorite," I said softly, my voice barely above a whisper. "Anchovy toast."

Lizzie took the plate from my hand, "Thank you." she replied before looking back at the script once again.

I simply nodded and sat down where I originally sitting, and focused on my own hands folded in my lap with a sigh.

I wake and watch you breathing with your eyes close. I sit and watch you, I notice everything you do or don't do, you're so much older and wiser

I woke up around five in the morning, the sun hadn't completely risen yet, but the little lighting shone through the curtains, casting a soft glow across the room. My gaze fell upon my girlfriend, who lay beside me sleeping lightly. The rise and fall of her chest matched the rhythm of her breathing, a calming sight that used to bring me comfort.

As I lay in bed, I couldn't help but watch my partner, Lizzie, sleeping peacefully beside me. I stayed there, watching her for a moment and appreciate the sight before me. But despite the serenity of the scene, I still felt a pang of sadness in my heart.

Lizzie had always been a restless sleeper, constantly shifting positions throughout the night and sometimes even talking in her sleep. But tonight, she was lying completely still, her face calm and relaxed. If someone saw it, they would instantly let it go and think that she's in a deep slumber but I'm not just someone.

I know the truth.

She was pretending to be asleep and it felt like she didn't want to wake up beside me, like she is simply tolerating my presence.

I wait by the door like I'm just a kid, use my best colors for your portrait

They were small things I did for her, but meaningful nonetheless. Always wait by the door every day to greet her, to offer and show her some love and comfort after a hard day at work. I would always stand there, gazing out into the evening sky, hoping to catch a glimpse of my lover making her way home from work. It didn't matter what time it was, or how tired I am after a long day, I always made sure to be there, waiting for Lizzie.

I even took painting classes as it seemed to ease my mind. I poured all of my emotions into my painting, using every color in the palette to capture the beauty of Lizzie's face. I spent hours each day working on the portrait, trying to convey the depth of my feelings for her and I'd use my best colors for her portraits.

Lay the table with the fancy shit, and watch you tolerate it

I had always been a perfectionist when it comes to cooking and entertaining. I would always spent hours in the kitchen, preparing elaborate meals and setting beautiful tables for my lover. I would carefully select the finest ingredients, meticulously prepare each dish, and arrange the table with exquisite linens, flowers, and candles.

I'd make her favorite dishes, lay the table with best cutlery and yet again, no matter how hard I tried, she never seemed to appreciate my efforts. All Lizzie gave back were strained smiles, small and almost whispered hums, and nods in acknowledgment of my attempts, and a whisper of "thanks," as she shoveled the food into her mouth, barely taking the time to taste or savor any of it.

she seemed to simply… tolerate it.

If it's all in my head tell me now, tell me I've got it wrong somehow

Despite my best efforts to communicate openly and honestly with Lizzie, I felt like she wasn't really listening to me, and it made me feel invisible. I began to wonder if I was overthinking everything, if maybe I was the one who was misinterpreting our interactions. Maybe I was being too sensitive, too needy.

Maybe I was the one who was crazy, paranoid.

I felt so alone, so lost, and so unsure of what to do.

I know my love should be celebrated, but you tolerate it

I began to feel like I was living in a dream world where everything I created was invisible to everyone else. It was as if I was speaking a language that nobody understood, except for my own echoes in mind.

"Liz," I said with a trembling voice, "I've been giving everything I have to make you happy, but it feels like you don't see or appreciate it anymore. I feel taken for granted."

My choice of words caught her off guard, she paused for a moment before responding. "Y/N, I never asked you to do all these things for me. I don't need grand gestures to feel loved, I thought you knew that."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Was this really what our relationship had become? A constant stream of argument and neglect?

Tears welled up in my eyes as I realized the disconnect between our expectations. I had been trying so hard to show her love in a way that I thought she would appreciate, but it had only pushed us further apart.

And it happen, I finally snapped.

I felt a surge of anger and frustration well up inside of me.

Why was I putting so much effort into something that seemed to bring her no joy? Why did I care so deeply about pleasing someone who didn't seem to care about me at all?

I knew, I couldn't keep living this way, constantly pouring my heart and soul into something that brought me nothing but pain and disappointment. I realized that no matter how much I gave, Lizzie would never truly reciprocate and still, I constantly yearn for someone who clearly did not want me.

With a heavy heart, I packed my bags. Our relationship had become toxic, with me constantly sacrificing myself for someone who didn't appreciate me. I knew it was time to leave, before I lost any more pieces of myself.

Before leaving, I took a one last look, the last thing I want to remember was the way Elizabeth used to laugh at my jokes, enjoy our food, take me out on dates. The last thing I want to remember was how she used to love my presence, and not just tolerate it.

Maybe one day someone would be enough to have their love celebrated by her.

#elizabeth olsen #wanda maximoff #the scarlet witch #lizzie olsen #lizzie #olsen #elizabeth #wanda maximoff x reader #elizabeth olsen x reader #female reader #fem reader #angst #wlw #wlw love #lesbian #natsgrave #fanfic #oneshot #x reader #fan fiction #elizabeth x you #lizzie x reader #imagines #elizabeth olsen imagines #tolerate it #evermore era #evermore #swifties #taylor swift #tswift

[fillinforlater]

FEAR----

Male Reader x Huh Yunjin (ft. Chaewon)

Length: 2420 words

Tags: con-non-con kink, change in pov, piss kink, water sports, public sex, choking, gagging, a kinky robbery, humiliation, crying, name calling, missionary, messy make-out, all the bodily fluids, roleplay, dacryphilia maybe, misattribution-of-arousal-kink!Yunjin

TW: cnc kink, water sports (pee), (role)playing with fear

Inspiration: ffs, I have no clue why my brain comes up with these. Maybe I'm just insane? Or stupid? Or too horny for my own good?

(A/N: yeah, I think I will have to take a break after this. Something very different will come up next, but I still need time to write it lol, so please be patient. For those that love these kinks, you're welcome, I won't write them (especially water sports) often.)

"What are you thinking about right now?"

Chaewon’s quiet, tender whisper is calming like a cool breeze in blazing summer heat. It takes you out of your short trance, which you spent gazing at the ring on her finger. You look into her concerned eyes, then towards her blonde friend at the bar. A heavy sigh leaves your lips as you set down the untouched cocktail.

"You know I like the idea," you start your rant, hoping it removes the uncertainty burdening your heart, "and I know you're completely fine with it. But the more I look at her—I just don't know if she knows what she really wants. You get me?"

"I think I do. Hmm,” Chaewon ponders for a second, caressing your palm, "Look, how about we ask her right now."

She turns around and with a wave of her hand she gets her friend's attention. The young woman quickly walks over, a bright, beautiful smile on her features. She stops next to your wife and straightens her postures when she looks at you. Before she can greet you, Chaewon whispers a long message into her ear. It makes her face sweaty and redder with each word.

"So," Chaewon loudly announces at the end of her explanation,"what are you thinking, Yunjin."

"I—"

Yunjin locks eyes with you. Her hands fidget, her upper body tenses up and her breath responds to her increased heartbeat. You can almost see the small muscle in her chest throb. She hesitates, even with Chaewon's reassuring smile and strokes on her back. Before you can speak up however, Yunjin's firm answer catches you by surprise:

"I still want it. I don't know what else to say, but I really want this and I don't care about the dangers."

"Alright," you respond blankly, though slightly in awe of Yunjin's clarity, "I appreciate your trust."

#

It's way past midnight when Yunjin leaves the area around the well-lit HYBE building to walk home. Dark, narrow corridors in between cold, lifeless concrete buildings are her choice, as she is eager to get to her flat quickly. Yunjin will always sacrifice a bit of lighting for effective short cuts. With her cell phone as a flashlight in one hand, her Louis Vuitton bag in the other, she confidently finds her way in this now well-known maze.

At night, she doesn't have to be extra careful about someone noticing her or the song she hums. An unreleased track, self-composed, with lyrics that have meaning to her and the other bandmates. At night, Yunjin is free to sing those words and feel a bit of burden fall from her shoulders.

A gentle breeze makes her blonde hair sway off of her shoulder and the loose jacket flies along with it. Yunjin has to stop in her tracks to adjust the leather garment. It's this time of the year where it's warm enough at night that you don't really need any extra clothes. However, each cold wind reminds Yunjin that it's good to have something on her. She can't allow herself to get sick.

It's also the time of the year where almost every night sky is littered with dazzling stars that dance on their designated spot, billions of miles away. It's a spectacle, each and every single one of them, so similar yet so different. The human eye cannot escape from this beauty, and Yunjin is no different. She stands there, star struck, the white lights dancing on her irises like it’s the parquet of a musical. Yunjin hums the melody to their performance. 

The bushes behind her rustle once. A dark figure shots out from behind them like a lightning bolt. Yunjin gasps and quickly looks behind her shoulder to see a black ski mask right in her face. Her ensuing scream is muted by a cloth forced into her mouth. She tries to escape, but the person is just too fast. Yunjin is grabbed at the top of her dress and forcefully shoved into a nearby wall.

“Money?” the figure asks in a cold, rough tone. Yunjin tenses up when she feels freezing metal run up her exposed thigh. Her eyes tremble in fear, even more so her legs. She is only held upright by the man's hand and his leg trapping her in between dead concrete and death personified. 

The man tears on Yunjin’s dress and groans angrily. Yunjin is too scared to test his patience, so she shakes her head. Her lips lose all their moisture to the cloth in her mouth, but maybe it’s just traveling to her eyes, to her sweat glands and down low.  

“Not even in that bag? Not even at home?” the man continues to ask. He guides the metal object further up, right to Yunjin’s core. A few swipes on her bundle of nerves make the young woman burst out into tears. It’s certainly not a knife that he is holding. The death bringing object right on her most private part makes her flinch, head shaking rapidly. 

The man grabs her face roughly. It’s like a slap he stopped as soon as he felt her skin. It reassures that the cloth won’t fall out of her mouth. The man groans once again. With small kicks against her shoes he forces Yunjin’s feet further apart. He then leans in right next to her ear.

“I know that you know what this is,” he whispers and presses his gun against Yunjin’s pussy, she wails, “and if you don’t tell me where the fuck I can get my money—tell me, or else.”

The flow of Yunjin’s tears is like an endless waterfall. Her hands are pleaing, begging, showing that she has nothing. No possession at hand, no money, maybe the bag is worth something, but the man does not seem interested in that. He wraps one hand around her gentle, fragile throat and slowly pulls out the gun from underneath her dress. She can look right into the barrel. There is a bullet waiting at the back, her name on it. 

This is it. Everything inside her is building up to this moment. Her body reacts the only way it can, the only way it knows how to, the only way she wants to. Instead of the bullet hitting her, the man shoves his knee in between her legs and pushes up. Yunjin screams against the gag, her fingers dig into her attackers back as she starts to pee violently. The clear stream immediately soaks her thin white panties, then runs down her pale, goosebump covered legs and begins to soak her shoes and his pants. The dark spot seems invisible on his dark pants, but he definitely feels and hears Yunjin’s eruption. 

“Bitch, what the—how dare you!” 

The man pulls out his knee and closely watches as the last sprays of Yunjin’s pee cover the dry asphalt below. He doesn’t even notice the gag falling out of Yunjin’s mouth as she makes no attempts to scream for help. She feels like all her dignity is stripped from her and sobs uncontrollably. Snot and salt water with small hints of make-up mess up her beautiful face, but she doesn’t cover it up. She still holds on to the back of this cruel stranger.

“Bitch, you are crazy.”

“Pl-please d-don’t ki-kill me.”

“Shut up,” he snarls and presses his gun against her panties again, “slowly take them off, or else..”

Yunjin’s throat is dry. Her sobs begin to sound like croaks as she leans down and grabs the wet lingerie. In the most embarrassing performance of her lifetime, she drags down her panties, feeling her own clear, barely gold liquid on her skin. She steps out with one leg, then the other, and both times the man kneads her thighs for a short time. Another breeze flies through her hair, but this time she only notices it because of the freezing touch on her wet core.

“Wring it out. With one hand, right onto the street.”

Yunjin closes her eyes as she closes her fist around her panties. They worked like a sponge and now all of her piss shoots out of the gaps in her hand. She is mortified by how the warm liquid feels on her hand. 

“Fuck, you’re insane,” the man says with awe and amusement and grabs Yunjin’s hair. He yanks her across the street, into the bushes where he came from. Behind them is a small patch of grass, where Yunjin is forced to lay down and spread her legs. She whimpers ‘no, no’ repeatedly, but the threat of the gun is right there, in his hand. Now it’s next to her head as he opens his zipper. 

“Pl-please don’t,” she whispers and her fist forms tighter. It draws even more pee from her panties.

“What’s your name?” the man coldly responds, fishing out his hard cock. 

“Yunjin.”

“Do you want to die, Yunjin.”

“No, please, no!”

“Then shut up—and do it again.”

Yunjin has no idea what he meant by this last statement. However, when he shoves his entire, surprisingly large cock inside her hot cunt, she doesn’t even remember it anymore. To pee in front of a stranger was pure horror, but this takes it to another level. If it weren’t for his hand on her mouth, not even the fear of death would have stopped her from screaming at this feeling. Pain, pain that feels great, fantastic, orgasmic even. Yunjin’s head begins to spin and her eyes roll into the back of her head.

“Hng, fuck,” the man groans and leans down to Yunjin’s face, “Yunjin, you’re fucking pretty. Great to have met you.”

A sinister laugh as he begins to bite the skin on her cheek and then on her shoulder. It’s not enough to leave marks, but definitely enough for Yunjin to feel something other than the cock hammering her pussy. It’s enormous size and width stretch her out more than any of her toys did before. Her flailing legs begin to go numb.

Suddenly, the man pushes his lip-sealing fingers into her mouth. He plays with her tongue, while hitting just the right spot inside her over and over. As she yelps, Yunjin comes to a shocking realization. The water on her face is not just tears, but also drools from the heavy pounding. Her mind becomes blank every now and then. It feels insane, better than anything she tried before. Something is building up in her lower regions and this filthy criminal gets her filthy pussy closer to another release. 

“Do it again, Yunjin,” he huffs into her face while retrieving his fingers from her mouth again— “I know you’re a kinky slut. Do it, or else.” —and wraps them around her delicate throat. Simultaneously, he begins to make out with her drooling mouth and press down on her throat. Yunjin screams into his mouth. Her body has given up. It’s completely resigned to him, but her mind is tormented by the inevitable. 

He hits the right spot, and her bladder is still so full. No, she can’t let it happen. She’d rather die and drown in her own spit and snot. It’s so humiliating, so bad, but at the same, her dopamine level has never been this high, it’s good. It will happen, it will happen, he just needs to tip her over, please tip me over.

“Or else. Now.”

The moment he stops fucking her tight cunt, Yunjin starts to piss again. A violent, clear stream erupts from her and she waters the grass and bushes around her like a gardening hose. Her hips buckle up, but she doesn’t feel his manhood anymore. She opens her teary eyes and sees the man's cockhead above her abdomen, unloading his warm, sticky semen all over the dress. 

Gooey white and runny light-yellow still shoot out of their bodies, but the two are entangled in a sloppy kiss with no care for the mess they are making on each other and the grass below. This might be someone’s property and they will surely notice. Not that Yunjin really cares, as her tongue is thoroughly sucked on and her limbs feel numb from the pleasure filled violation.

Suddenly, he reaches for the pee-soaked panties in her firm grasp. He guides her pale legs together and forces the undergarment up to her still twitching pussy. Yunjin gasps at the sensation of stained, wet clothing forced upon her. She loves how he continues to rub his thumb on her now covered clit and stares at her face, stupid from his attack. 

“Kinky slut. Now fuck off. No cleaning until your home. Or else.”

#

Quiet. Not a single sound. You’re able to close the door behind you without it creaking. Your wife will probably be asleep by now, but you want to make sure it stays that way. Carefully remove your shoes and sneak over the smooth tiles into the living room. Absolute silence. She is not here. Search in the kitchen, just a light humming of the refrigerator. There is no sound a human would make, until you reach the stairs. 

Wet squelching and soft moans. They get louder with every step you take upwards. You decide to leave the mask on and move faster, still careful to not stir up attention. The sounds of self-satisfaction come from the playroom. Take a look inside and there she is.

Chaewon sits on the couch, panties around her ankles. Three of her fingers slowly move in and out of her pussy as she rubs her clit in circles. She throws her head back against the rest and the moonlight gives you a perfect view of her pleasure ridden face and closed eyes. The squelching gets louder and in between moans, Chaewon forms a clear sentence.

“Yes, fuck her like that. Don’t stop, don’t stop—”

Three quick steps and you’re right in front of the half-naked Chaewon. She pulls her fingers out in shock but you replace the emptiness of her hole with yours immediately after. Chaewon gasps as you lean closer to her and pump slowly.

“My wife is a kinky bitch.”

“Sh-shut up.”

“No, you shut up. Keep imagining it. 

How I fuck your friend as she cries and screams. The way her body trembles while you look from the bushes. The way my cock pierces her pussy until she starts to pee all over herself.”

“Fuck!” Chaewon screams out and her body begins to shake.

“You like that? Then cum for me, Chaewon. 

Or else.”

#kpop smut #male reader insert #girl group smut #female idol smut #le sserafim smut #yunjin smut #huh yunjin smut #male reader #male reader smut #lesserafim smut #le sserafim yunjin smut

[sophietv]

The ULTIMATE LSK Thread Of Koincidences

I've decided to piece together all the Koincidences that I could find since fall 2019.

It's easy to not understand LSKs when you haven't seen all the flagging that they've been doing, especially with how the Lover Era went as well as Folkmore. But once you start to piece all those hints together in a timeline, it paints a pretty clear picture.

I've spent hours in both their social medias pages and searching for Timelines done by other amazing blogs on here.

I'll credit when needed and link to the timelines.

I'm used to doing threads on Twitter and posting everything, not just link. I'll do the same here because I've notice that a lot of posts linked into timelines on here were deleted. This way all the informations are in one place.

If there's things that I missed, don't hesitate to tell me and I'll update the thread!

IMPORTANT: I've linked all the important piece of Kaylor Lore when necessary for you to better understand the references. So when there's a (X) beside something, it's a link to more informations about that subject to help you better understand.

August 2019:

August 3rd: Karlie's birthday. Taylor posts the famous Bi Hearts Crispies Treats, that will star in the Lover Lyrics Video later too.

August 8th: Taylor is on the Cover of Vogue.

She is wearing a Cartier Love Ring. Karlie wears one too, she has wore it for a very long time now (years before this article) on her right ring finger.

Right ring finger is used by LGBTQ+ couples for marriage or to indicate that the person is in a serious relationship.

Karlie has been wearing hers a lot more (in almost all her pictures) since summer 2022. (X)

And it's the very definition of Love Locked Down (X)

On the website it says: "Lock in your love forever" (X)

August 16th: Lover is out as a single exactly 13 days after Karlie's birthday The lyrics video is completely filled with Kaylor's references. I did a thread on Twitter (X). Also, Lover lasts 3:41, wich is 143 backwards = I Love You.

August 18:

Karlie was listening to Lover on repeat on Spotify.

It was even reported by Taylor's news accounts on Twitter:

August 22:

Lover MV is out. Taylor uses the You Are In Love lyrics to announced it.

Confirming that it was inspired by those lyrics: "You two are dancing in a snow globe round and round" wich are a reference to VSFS 2013.

I will not do MV analysis in this thread because it will never end if I start. But I'll link them when I have.

Septembre 2019:

Septembre 9th :

Paris City Of Lover Concert.

The mural on the stage is extremely Kaylor Coded.

Here's a post I did about this (X)

Septembre 27th:

Eye theory reference by Karlie on Instagram

Ps: On this thread I'll refer to only the ones I find very clear, because there's so much.

If you don't know about The Eye Theory, it's a piece of lore extremely important. Here's a post I did about it (X).

Septembre 29th:

Karlie does a post leaving Paris and saying "Au Revoir" wich is oddly similar to a post Taylor did in May that year.

Octobre 2019:

Octobre 2nd:

Karlie talks in one of her Klossy video on YouTube about the time she cut her hair short. How at first she was insecure about it.

And she talks about the 2013 VSFS where it was the first time that she walked with her hair short.

And she says that people would come to her to say that they wanted the same haircut.... like Taylor did.

Octobre 29th:

Taylor posts on her Instagram about the International Cat Day. Karlie liked the post. (I'm pretty sure it's the last Taylor's post ever that she'd like).

Novembre 2019:

Novembre 13th:

Kaylor meeting anniversary (X)

Taylor:

The Lover Remix with Shawn Mendez is out.

There's the new line written by Taylor : "Look into my eyes they will tell you the truth, the girl in my story has always been you".

The Lover and the heart on her eye are now gold. (X)

The lyrics video is on a snow globe now, throwback to YAIL.

She announces the new remix all over New York's billboards.

Karlie

She releases a Klossy video where she shows what's on her phone.

And you see a sequence where she answers a group chat nammed BFFs, and Taylor is in it. (You see her Lover Instagram pfp of the time).

Novembre 24th:

Karlie announces on Instagram a new community phone number that you can use to text her.

And if you do... the text you receive says: "all other texts are coming from ME!"...

Also...Eye Theory.

Novembre 25th :

Taylor performs Lover at the AMA.

During the number, there's a ballerina dancing that seems to always want to go toward Taylor but keeps coming back to the man instead.

There's even a moment where she's drawn back to the man and hit him to run back to Taylor, but he brings her back to him.

The Ballerina is Misty Copeland. (and here's the scene described above)

Source of the video: iwanthermidnightz (X)

In April 2017 Karlie said in an interview for Love Magazine with Derek Blasberg that she was fan on Misty Copeland. (X)

Ballet is VERY important for Karlie since she was young.

Misty follows both Karlie and Taylor on Instagram

And in 2021, she wore a "Like a Kloss" shirt on pictures she posted.

Decembre 2019:

Decembre 4th:

Kissgate anniversary (X)

Taylor wears the Victoria Secret Angel Ring.

She wore this ring for the first time on Octobre 23rd 2016, the last time Karlie and Taylor were papped together at an event (Drake's birthday) AKA 2190 days exactly since Midnights release (Glitch).

See my Love Blackout post for more informations (X) She wore it ever since at important events to signal Karlie.

Decembre 10th:

Taylor post Cats promotion on Instagram with picture of her through a giant door.

The next episode of Project Runway, Karlie walks though a giant door the same way for a Cats promo.

Decembre 11th:

Eye Theory post on Karlie's Instagram

Decembre 17th:

Karlie post a video on Klossy where she mentions falconery, seemingly out of context with what she was saying. And put an accent on it by having a Falcon animation.

Wich is interesting because back in August, Taylor released the Lover Lyrics Video with a lot of Kaylor references (see the link I put back in august).

But on that video, there's a reference to their Big Sur second trip (X)

With a picture of Taylor holding a falcon.

Decembre 31st:

Karlie post a collection of her Vogue covers on Instagram.

And there's the one that she did with Taylor. (X)

There you have it!

Fall of 2019.

It's pretty loud but honnestly in the Timeline, it's the less loud period of all.

Things gets REALLY interesting toward 2020-2021 and SUPER loud in 2022 and SCREAMS in 2023.

I'll continue this thread tomorrow but rebloging and adding to it years by years.

If there's things I missed don't hesitate to tell me so I'll add it!

I'll probably edit this to add things if there's things I forgot. I'll note everytime something is added.

This Masterpost helped me make this part (X)

The 2020 Part 1 is ready here (X)

#lsk #kaylor #koincidences

[siriustaylorsversion]

stop. you're losing me.

Regulus Black x reader

"I don't understand."

"I know you don't."

warnings- angst, you're losing me lyrics (they can break your heart)

author's note:- i wrote this listening to you're losing me and cried, so.. enjoy <3

You say, "I don't understand", and I say, "I know you don't" We thought a cure would come through in time, now I fear it won't Remember lookin' at this room, we loved it 'cause of the light Now, I just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time

In the dimly lit attic of Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place, you spent hours rummaging through a dusty old trunk, your fingers delicately tracing over aged parchment and forgotten relics.

The air was thick with the scent of history and neglect, but amidst the debris, you found a yellowed envelope, sealed with a wax stamp bearing the Black family crest. Intrigued, you carefully broke the seal and unfolded the letter within.

As you read the contents, your heart sank with each word. It was a letter from Regulus' parents, commanding their son to prove his loyalty to the family by entering into an arranged marriage. The reason was starkly clear: Regulus's elder brother, Sirius, had been disowned for defying the family's pure-blood ideology.

Consumed by a mix of anger, sorrow, and a burgeoning sense of determination, you sought out Regulus in the darkened corridors of the ancestral home. You found him standing by a window, the moon casting haunting shadows across his troubled face.

"Regulus," you began, your voice trembling with emotion, "is this true? Are you really going to marry someone you don't love, just to fulfill your family's twisted expectations?"

Regulus turned to face you, "Where did you find that?" his expression pained yet resigned. "You shouldn't be involved in this."

"You're getting married?" you ask. "I'm not sure right now." He replies. "You're not sure? You're not sure about leaving me?"

"I can't argue about this with you, how can I make this decision?"

"Shouldn't be involved in your marriage? Why can't it be me, Regulus?" you implored, tears brimming in your eyes. "Why can't I be the one to stand by your side?"

Every mornin', I glared at you with storms in my eyes How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'? I sent you signals and bit my nails down to the quick My face was gray, but you wouldn't admit that we were sick

Regulus hesitated, his eyes betraying a conflict within. "You... There's already someone chosen for me. And besides, this marriage is important for the war against Voldemort. It's not about love, it's about survival."

Your heart shattered at his words, the realization crashing over you like a tidal wave. With a trembling voice, you whispered, "I can't do this, Regulus. I can't watch you marry someone else while I stand by and pretend it doesn't hurt."

He reached out to you, a plea in his eyes. "Please don't go. I'm sorry, truly I am. But there are things at play here that you can't understand."

"I wouldn't marry me either." You say, finally breaking his heart into a thousand pieces, just like he did to you.

But you couldn't bear to listen any longer. With a heavy heart, you turned and fled, leaving Regulus standing alone in the darkness.

How long could we be a sad song 'Til we were too far gone to bring back to life? I gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy And all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier Fighting in only your army Frontlines, don't you ignore me

In the days that followed, you found yourself wrestling with conflicting emotions. On the one hand, there was the undeniable pain of witnessing the man you cared for sacrificing his happiness for the sake of duty. Conversely, you were going through the worst heartbreak of your life. You were the only one there who heard him out and stayed with him when he got the dark mark and now all you wanted to do was go up to him and shake him until he wakes up and realises what he's doing.

And so, with a heavy heart and a soul weighed down by the burden of unspoken truths, you made the painful decision to walk away. It was a choice born not out of weakness, but out of a deep-seated belief that some sacrifices were too great to bear, and some battles too futile to fight.

"Do something, babe, say something" (say something) "Lose something, babe, risk something" (you're losin' me) "Choose something, babe, I got nothing (got nothing) To believe Unless you're choosin' me"

As you watched from a distance, the days slipped by in a haze of regret and longing. You saw Regulus's forced smiles and hollow laughter, the facade of duty and honour masking the turmoil within. And with each passing day, a part of you mourned the loss of what could have been, the love that might have blossomed if only given the chance to take root and grow.

I can't find a pulse My heart won't start anymore.

finally wrote after a long time, let me know how it is <33

#regulus black #regulus black x reader #regulus black angst #sirius black angst #regulus black fic #marauders x reader #fyp #marauders #maraudersera

[unsaidthingsj2e]

Promise i don't forget all of my fault in this

Summary : After Jude broke your heart, he can't help but regret how he did it. Loosing his best friend of 10 years is not something he knows how to cope with

a/n : here is part 2 to this fic, probably not what you were expecting but i like it this way better!

english is still not my first language so if any sentence doesn't make sense or if typos are hiding in there, i apologize!! (+ this is even barely proofread sorry)

title is a lyrics from Best by Gracie Abrams

To the eye of anyone else, his life looked like a dream.

With his career predicted to continue its raising towards a legendary peak, a beautiful girl he genuinely was in love with at his side and a promise of everything going his way in life, it seemed like the equation was solved.

The thing is, it was solved, he found x, he had x but he also threw x away, thinking it wasn't necessary to his well-being.

The problem is, x was his ex-lover, ex-best friend, ex-childhood friend. When he made the decision to leave her behind, he thought he did the right thing.

Breaking her heart was the hardest thing he ever had to do, but he knew she wouldn't have survived seeing him with a new girl while still being in his life. He knew if given the option, she would've stayed at his side, as a best friend, a friend, an acquaintance. So in his mind, breaking her heart, leaving her with a lost soulmate was the best decision, for her.

He had not anticipated how much it would hurt him as well.

He spent the first week feeling unbelievably lighter. Lying to her, going out with his girl behind her back and cheating were not things he had enjoyed doing. He knew he had no right to be sad or even to complain about anything, being the one doing the cheating and not being cheated on.

He was certain if younger Jude could, he would find a way to travel in time and hunt current Jude down until the end of his days. She used to be so much more than an ex-lover.

Ever since primary school, she had been the only constant thing in his life. He had other friendships that he grew out of, he had girlfriends that wouldn't last enough time for him to even get attached, and he now had fans that would forget about him in a few months. But she was always there, and that's what made him think she was the perfect match for him.

He already loved her and they got along better than any other friends, he knew her inside out and still admired her, he already went through hell and back by her side. It made sense that what he was feeling was romantic love. And perhaps it was at first, or maybe it never was, he could not pinpoint the moment he realized he made a mistake and confused platonic feelings for romantic ones.

It's the fact that she realized so much faster than him that scared him, and that made the process happen so much faster. She managed to watch the light fade from his eyes before he could put a name on what was happening in his head when he looked at her. She noticed the nature of the blank stares he would be stuck in and deep down, she knew.

Tonight marks the third week since he broke her heart, and his guilt laced with longing is eating him alive. Because today was the 22nd of the month, day on which, every month without a miss, they would meet up one way or another to watch movies and gossip and catch up on lost time due to their busy schedules.

It had become a tradition since they were kids, Jude had to conceal football and school and ended up being able to spend less time with her. A June 22nd, she had voiced her worries of him forgetting her in the whole process, so he promised at least every month, she would get a night of his full undivided attention.

It was never just movies, some 22nd's were spent on her house's roof, stargazing while sharing terrifying thoughts about growing up, about feelings taking a meaning, others were spent driving around your hometown, signing along to their shared playlist.

But it always was on the 22nd. Twelve 22nd's a year, twelve nights to ensure their hearts were still each others.

Tonight's 22nd was the first one in eight years they weren't in each other's presence or on a videocall. On this 22nd, Jude decided he had to face his feelings. He was done hiding them and pretending this didn't affect him, he lost someone who was dear to him no matter who was to blame.

Coming home from practice, where his performance were mediocre at best, and ended in his coach voicing his worries about his mood and its affect on his stats lately, Jude was worn off.

Turning his keys in the door lock, his eyes fell down on the red phone cabin keychain he reluctantly kept after she forced him to. He had playfully refused to do so at first, claiming this was too much of a tourist thing to even just buy, let alone display on his keys. But she had argued that this would be a fond way to remember every place they had traveled to.

Not realizing he had been staring at the keys lost in thoughts for a few minutes, not making any moves to enter, a soft voice got him out of this haze.

"Jude, is that you?" He heard his girlfriend ask from the other side of the door, voice uncertain and fear audible

"Yes, yes it's me darling. Sorry about that I kinda zoned out", Jude rushed to explain while opening the door, noting how scary hearing the quiet sound of keys fumbling into the lock would've been from her point of view.

He stepped into his house, immediately face to face with his lover, whom he engulfed into a bone crushing hug almost as quickly.

"Today's the 22nd" he mumbled into her hoodie "It sucked, 'm feeling like shit and I did bad at practice"

One thing he made sure to do with any partner of his, was to make sure they both felt safe enough to share any thought, not wanting to hold the weight of any information by themselves. Therefore, he had told her everything about his feeling about his ex best friend, how much he missed her and everything about their moments ; including the 22nd tradition.

"Yeah, i figured you would- not do bad at practice, feel like shit i meant" she answered while playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, simultaneously rubbing comforting circles into his back.

"I just- it's so frustrating. I'm the one who broke things off, I got the fucking good side of things and here I am whining about it.", squeezing her body harder, Jude tried another way to convey the emotions that invaded every cell of his body, feeling like words aren't enough. Before he could continue, she interrupted his rant.

"Jude, hun, we talked about this. You did break things off but it was needed, even she could tell things weren't the same anymore. But she was your best friend, shit like that hurts even if it was the best option at the time", this conversation was held almost every day, he was convinced his feelings were not justified because of the way he handled the situation.

"Yeah, I know, my feelings are valid and all this bullshit, doesn't mean it doesn't feel unfair" he moved from the embrace to take his shoes off, focusing on the task to avoid his lover's eyes "I mean, I miss her so much and it's so selfish considering she's probably in her head overthinking the authenticity of every moment we ever spent together, I'm literally a piece of shit". His shoe laces weren't cooperating, seemingly in sync with his conflicting emotions. With a groan, he gave up, throwing himself on the floor with his back on the door, his head resting on it, looking up the ceiling.

She gently crouched down next to him, rubbing his thigh in hopes to calm him down with the soothing movement. "I won't lie and say she's thriving right now, because let's face the truth, it definitely destroyed her-", at this statement, Jude banged his head on the door, "-but. But it was a shitty situation that needed to be dealt with in a shitty way. You missing her is not you being selfish, get that out of your pretty head."

Now on her knees beside him, she brought her other hand on his cheek, nudging him to make eye contact with her. Her gaze was full of empathy for his internal struggle, understanding his part, but also seeing hers. "Did you-" she stopped for a second when he finally looked back at her, eyes glossy, "Did you think about reaching out to talk to her? I'm aware you don't want to do it because you're scared she'd come back and end up hurting more. But. If not for you, do it for her? You haven't seen her since you broke things off, and she didn't even get the chance to talk, she probably is dying to find closure in a way"

"You're probably right, she deserves it. I'm just not even sure she'd want to meet up though. I wouldn't want to see someone who is as much of a dickhead as I am. Good motives or not, I did this badly." Jude did not lack self awareness concerning this situation. It's because he knows her so well that he knew the words he used would wound her deeply, although unintentionally.

Voice barely above a whisper, he shamefully admits, "Sometimes, I don't even want her to get closure. God that sounds so bad but. I don't want her to forget about me, about us. 10 years of friendship is a fucking long time, I don't want her to wipe this off her memory because I was an asshole"

Not even bothering to correct him, and uselessly try to convince him he isn't an asshole, she instead continued, "Please, talk to her, she probably doesn't want 10 years worth of memory to be tainted by this ugly night. And it's been due, for both of your sake." She felt helpless in front of her boyfriend's misery, and would do anything to help it be less intense and all consuming. "Don't let her spend her first 22nd in eight years all alone, thinking you hate her", slowly detangling his shoe lace and tying it back the right way, she moved to kiss his forehead. "Be patient and let her time to voice her thoughts, yeah?"

He stood up, and took his time to take the woman in front of him in, he felt incredibly lucky this exact second. Any other woman would be fuming with jealousy at the thought of their man going to see their ex-girlfriend that they've known for half their life. He hated to think that getting her had to come with losing his best friend. "Okay, yeah, okay i'm going then. I appreciate you so much for this, thank you for understanding."

a/n : you guys : "part 2 w reader living her best life n Jude wanting her back!!"

me : "how about no?" i actually wrote about 6 different start to this but it always felt off, knowing how brutally Jude left reader?

#jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham #jude bellingham angst #footballer blurb #jude bellingham fanfic #jude bellingham x you

[keresnotceres]

MW2 CHARACTERS: as Lovers (explained through songs)

[sfw] cw(s): lyrics/themes of death, mentions of abuse/ghost's past, brief mentions of sex

i spent an embarrassing amount of time on this, so enjoy it lol.

Ghost is disastrously Everlong (Foo Fighters). The genuine emotion that song manages to evoke in me is painful and refreshing at the same time — that’s the type of feeling Simon “Ghost” Riley exudes.

As a lover; he’s very distant at first. He refuses to become more attached to you than he already is — convinced he’s going to lose you too (or, worse, become his father). It very likely takes him years to truly open up to you about everything, and when you don’t stop loving him, he never want to leave your side. Ghost likely feels like he is never going to do enough for you until the two of you finally have that unbreakable connection, and then he finds himself to be everything you could ever need through your actions/words.

The instrumental sections, especially the part that emulates the opening of the song after the second chorus. The change from strong drums and electric guitar to the simple bass line and indistinguishable radio chatter that slowly ramp up into the loudness again is so goddamn emotional. If that isn’t Ghost then I don’t know what else is.

Ghost is one of the most tragic characters in MW2, Everlong has an incredibly emotional tone that perfectly captures the feeling of tragedy, something Ghost has been through countless times. This heavily reflects in his romantic relationships.

Lyrics such as “Come down and waste away with me” and “If everything could ever be this real forever / If anything could ever be this good again” are so Ghost coded, especially when it would come to your relationship.

Gaz has intense Die For You (The Weeknd) energy. Do I really have to explain? (Yes the fuck I do) Gaz is absolutely smitten with you, there's no damn doubt, and he will express it to you in any possible way he can, even if the two of you are in a rough patch.

Gaz is likely very in tune to his emotions, but that doesn't mean he can express them that easily. That being said, the one thing he can express without a hitch is his devotion and love for you. It doesn't matter how long he spends away from you, how long it's been since he last spoke to you, the first words out of his mouth upon seeing you are "I love you." There is nothing in the mortal plane that could stop him from loving you, he would do fucking anything to be able to be yours and have you be his. However, he finds issue in communicating issues he has, whether it be ones to do with the relationship or outside of it.

He has a need to be in control of the emotional state he's in, which makes a relationship with him a bit difficult. He'll do his best to change how you feel about something just to make it match his, or he'll try to mold a situation into something it's not so that he can find a way through it without making himself vulnerable.

The background music of Die For You manages to be something playable in a club, but emotional at the same time, which is rather conflicting when it comes to trying describe it. But that makes it utterly perfect to describe Gaz with.

"The distance and the time between us / It'll never change my mind" has major Gaz vibes due to the obvious divide between the two of you whenever he's deployed, but also because there's sometimes going to be an emotional distance between the two of you if he finds he can't communicate his.

Soap is so RUNNING OUT OF TIME (Tyler, The Creator) coded you gotta believe me here. I find Soap to be subdued when it comes to you; the military aggression he can be so capable of slips away when it comes to love you. This is why I chose this song instead of the other IGOR songs.

I see Soap as someone who gets into a relationship quickly so that they don't get bored of being in a "talking stage." Soap often feels that you'll get bored of him, especially when his thoughts slip to you when he's deployed. He's not home as often as another man could be, he can't spend all the time in the world with you -- he's always so scared that he'll come home to any empty flat after you left, too bored of being alone. Due to this fear, Soap tries him damn best to show off just how much he loves you any time he can, he becomes so involved with you he almost has nothing else in his life happening except for you.

Very much intense in his loving, would probably do anything you asked of him, and years of reliance on others in the military has left him needing that energy reciprocated. There's a sense of security he feels knowing that you would do what he would do for you.

I feel like the instrumental sections of the song are reminiscent of Soap's personality when he's with you. He doesn't have to be calm and militaristic, but he doesn't have to play up the energetic part of him. With you, he's able to be genuinely happy and has a somewhat bubbly go-with-the-flow disposition . The electric synth-y sounds of the outro and breaks between verses showcase this type of feeling very fell.

"Your waves wash over me / I drift to the deep end" is a really representative pair of lyrics for Soap, he's just in love with you that he's willing to go to the farthest lengths for you.

Price probably looks like he should be some 80s love song, and he does, but I am a firm believer that he is a Florence + The Machine song, specifically her cover of Stand By Me (a song from 1962). Price is likely more emotional around you than his boys, so you get to see a softer, probably sadder version of him.

Emotionally matured in his years of military service, and it shows in the way he loves you. He adores being domestic with and for you; just waking up in bed to you sound asleep next to him is enough for to make him happy. Likes to be by your side, holding you. It's comforting to him to know that you're there, to know he's there with you, and that he's surviving for you. Price lives for you because he knows that his death would be a devastation to you, the same way your death would hurt him irreversibly. To Price, you are home and you are safety. Coming back to you after being gone for months is one of the best feelings he has ever felt.

He's very work-oriented, almost to the point that, if he's exhausted enough, he might treat you as if you were one of his soldiers. It doesn't take him long to realize what he's doing, and he'll feel extremely guilty after it (even if you assure him it's alright). He'll let you take care of him after this, you can convince him to rest because he feels too bad to say no to you.

Florence's version of the song is much more orchestral than the original version, a harp is one of the first things you hear, along with other string instruments. It's flowy, almost water-like, and most of all, calming; it feels like a falling asleep with the window open on an autumn night, which fits Price immaculately well. The swell in the music is even calming to some degree. The amount of emotion in the song makes it all the more loving.

"I won't be afraid / Just as long as you stand, stand by me," demonstrates the comfort that he feels with you, how you are the one thing that he can rely on to be safe.

Alejandro would've been Lorde coded, but you guys have to hear me out on this one. This man is the epitome of That's All (Kris Jonathon). Alejandro is devoted to you in every sense of the word, he is so utterly in love with you that he is yours.

Alejandro is, and always has been, a lover at his core. He's charming and affectionate to everyone; but god, when he has you in his arms, it's like you're the only thing that has ever existed. His love for you runs deeper than the oceans, it's sometimes so intense it's overwhelming, but you always know that Alejandro loves you. He always finds a way to make you feel seen, feel loved. Alejandro makes an effort for you, even if he's tired and overwhelmed. His job inhibits his ability to see and live with you all the time, so he often finds himself thinking about a future with you, when he's retired from the military, and can be by your side far into old age.

Despite his openness in loving you, Alejandro is likely another person who despises being vulnerable in other states. Sure, he can tell you how much he loves you with ease, but he couldn't tell you how tired or depressed he was. But sometimes, Alejandro will let you in a little further and whisper to you how much he wants to be by your side always, and that leaving you behind with the possibility of leaving you behind is harrowing to him.

That's All is slow, it's a ballad, it's about wanting a fairy tale love story, and god does the slow background music with the overpowering hi-tat give me major Alejandro vibes. It's passionate, the instruments and the lyrics that accompany them, and it makes for a loving sounding song that encapsulates Alejandro's style of loving you.

"I want a tale, a giddy after with you," Alejandro wants a life with you, he wants to live with you by his side until he no longer can, which the lyric, "Till death's kiss, I'll promise you this," shows. Alejandro will always be with you until death takes parts the two of you forever.

Rudy is easily Fantasy (Kali Uchis, Don Toliver) and I will not be taking any comments, complaints, or concerns. If you think for a second that Rudy is not an intense and loving partner, you are so so so wrong and I am here to prove it to you.

Rudy is one to love you like no one can touch you ever again, he knows full well that you are his. He wouldn't go so far as to say he owns you, but he knows that you wouldn't say a word against it if he said you belonged to him. This possessive part of him is usually choked down and he's often much more passive to you and everybody around. He's honestly rather sweet, often calling you a nickname or a pet name instead of your name, but you can always see something a bit more passionate in his eyes when he looks at you. He has eyes for no one else, he loves you too much to even think about someone else in the ways he thinks of you.

He tends to idly enjoy your presence, his thoughts stray quite a bit when you aren't there, oddly enough. When you're there, he just wants to be with you, not an imaginative version of you. Holding you close is something he treasures, sexually or otherwise, he likes having you near him and often never wants to let go.

The background music begins with a rather calm piano, which is basically the impression you get upon looking at Rudy for the first time, but the upbeat rhythm that follows it is more representative of Rudy's way of loving you and what it's often like with him.

"I belong to you / Know you're all mine too," is the only lyric I need to pull from the song to push my agenda onto you. Your relationship is built off of knowing that the two of you are each others, Rudy relishes in this knowledge.

Valeria is literally the embodiment of Summertime Sadness (Lana Del Rey). You can scream and cry but Valeria is so LDR coded and I will die on this hill. The nature of her work really makes it unpredictable to know if she'll come home to you, so the two of you live your lives like you're about to break up but god do the two of you love each other.

It took her so damn long to admit it and understand that she loves you, but once she did, everything was for you. She lives for you, she breathes for you, because you're all the good the world has left for her, and she'll keep an iron grip on you until you're ripped away from her. Valeria knows that one day, she likely will leave you on your own, so she lives every single day with you as if its the last. Even if it's a small day, where you just live with one another, there's always a feeling of longing between you two.

Something hat Valeria will likely never get to have is a wedding with you. She knows, deep down, that marrying you is putting an even larger target on your back, but that won't ever stop her from wanting you to be more than just her lover, wanting to be more than simply dating you.

The slow drums in the background accompanied by the soft strings and guitar during the verses and choruses have a longing feelings attached to them, which gives way to the way Valeria feels about your relationship. There's always longing between you even if she's right by your side.

Lyrics that particularly scream Valeria and your relationship with her include, "I know if I go, I'll die happy tonight," "I just wanted you to know / that baby, you the best," and "Like the stars miss the sun in the morning sky." All of these have a feeling that any of the above paragraphs explained, but they're also pretty self explanatory.

#cod headcanons #cod mw2 #gaz x reader #john mactavish x reader #john price x reader #kyle garrick x reader #simon riley x reader #soap x reader #gaz mw2 #ghost mw2 #price mw2 #soap mw2 #cod mw2 2022 #alejandro cod #alejandro x reader #alejandro vargas x reader #call of duty x reader #mw2 x reader #soap mactavish x reader #rudy x reader #rudy mw2 #rodolfo x reader #valeria mw2 #valeria garza x reader

[earls-wife]

La Sein

Hi lovelies! It's been a minute hasn't it? But I'm here with a piece that I spent more time than I should have on. It combines several short drabbles that wouldn't play nice so I meshed them all in together for this piece. I think it turned out well. What do you think?

Warnings: yelling, pinning, mention of jewel toned eyes (there are many gems but some are picky about detailed readers so here's your warning)

Astré= OCiel. (See my page for why)

As always, female reader.

Lyrics from La Sein from Monster in Paris

La Sein

She's respondent, so confident la Sein, la Sein, la Sein. I realize, I'm hypnotized la Sein, la Sein, la Sein.

I hadn't expected to find it.

My heart. Sewn to the gown of a glimmering gem. That gem sparked with a fire that warmed the cold abyss within me. She was anything but plain despite the simplicity she adorned herself in. Her laugh defied the stars and the faces that dared to look upon her glory.

I couldn't look away from such a creature as she. So far from the darkness. I was beguiled. In the shadows I dwelled among the underworlds devouts. My eyes watched her, my heart pinned to her gown.

I hear the moon, singing a tune la Sein, la Sein, la sein. Is she divine, is it the wine la sein la Sein la Sein.

The wine is sweet tonight, red as the color on her lips that teased to me. How could I resist such sweet minstration that heaved it's weight onto my chest, drowning me.

I shouldn't feel this way, I shouldn't entertain such pleasures. I shouldn't watch her, yet I cannot look away.

"You are the Lord Phantomhive correct?" She asked me, her eyes dancing with the candles flame, bleeding into my soul. A soul that I hadn't known to breathe in a decade or more.

"Obviously." I bit at her gentle smirk that only caused more color to blossom in my body. She strangled me, pulling wanting moans of desire out of the abyss I lied in.

I don't know, don't know. So don't ask me why. That's how we are la Sein and I.

We danced that night. I, tripping to follow such grace. Mouth dry and in need of the water her lips offered like a bubbling spring, yet her tongue burned. Fire. How despondent of a monster I am. Undone by a mere flash of her jeweled eyes. Eagerly trailing behind such a master of hearts all the while hating myself.

I can't get out, she has me. I can't stay away from my heart now that she's returned the annoying thing to me. I never wanted it back. She should have stayed away. Yet, she bends in my arms and meets my eyes with no fear. What being would dare to meet my eye?

I don't know, don't know. So don't ask me why. That's how we are la Sein and I.

"She's stunning of course my lord, but is she really the bride you desire?" A Baron asked me. The billard room smoking with cigar waste.

"How precious you two would be, side by side two turtle doves cooing in harmony." Count Druitt, another monster of a different breed then me, chattered. His eyes sparking on a grotesque idea no doubt.

"She has no station, she's a dollar princess!" Another exclaims while I smile striking the cue ball against the colorful array of future points I would devour. Each one mine. She was mine.

I feel alive, when I'm beside la Sein la Sein la Sein. I realize, I'm hypnotized la sein la Sein la Sein.

I didn't plan this. I didn't want to fall for him. I knew the rumors and I knew he was no good. There was no charity in his soul, nor was there such a thing as mercy. Merciless was the tone at which he played life. Revenge to humiliate and destroy. Everything he touched deteriorated, yet I could only crave more of it.

A touch of hands encased in gloves, a demonic grin snuck into the color of his eye. How was I to fight a monster I couldn't not see within him? No matter what he said to warn me away, I didn't see what he saw. Not anymore.

How long has it been? Days? Weeks? Months? When had I become so accustomed to the shadow at my shoulder, looming as a black cat upon the ledge of moonlight. A hunter that watched me with a gaze that made my world tremble with life.

Queen's Guard Dog they called him. Lord of the Underworld to another tune, and I his lady. I couldn't help myself, he captured me with that unwavering eye.

I don't know, don't know. So don't ask me why, that's how we are la Sein and I.

"You can't marry her!" Marquis Midford, his uncle by marriage, bellowed. His face changing to a subtle color. Not a loud individual, it was clear this was unacceptable to the tolerant man.

"She'll be the end of your good name!" His cousin Edward held his sister, Elizabeth, as she sobbed into his arms. The raised curl of his lip showed teeth. "Come to your senses cousin!"

"She's nothing." Count Druitt, the fruity tart he was sat in whimsy bemused by the ordeal.

"Nephew reconsider this foolishness." Marquess Midford narrowed her steel eyes on him. Her hand on his cane stopping him from leaving.

"I'm sorry Aunt. There's no one else." Astré replied before making his escape. Cane left behind.

I don't know, don't know. so don't ask me why, that's how we are la Sein and I.

"Your eloping?" The maid asked blinking at her lady.

"Yes. Hurry please we must pack quickly." She replied tossing several items into a chest. "Who knows how much time we have."

"It's risky."

"Its fate."

"Your father-"

"He will understand, just as Astré's family will. Someday."

"As you say my lady, as you say."

Upon the bridge.

My heart does beat

Between the waves

We will be saved

The air we breathe

Can you believe?

Learn to forgive, upon the bridge

That's how we are la Sein and I

That's how we are la Sein and I

We had escaped, my heart and I. Call me selfish or a fool. That I had dragged the vey creature of life from the sky into the depths. Oh how she sang in those depths. For me, she was mine. For her, I was hers. That is just how we are. My Lady and I.

Dictionary:

-Dollar Princess: a term used in the 1800-1900 time frame to refer to a foreign rich woman of non-noble descent who participated in the London season to find a husband. These girls were looked down on for their lack of status but desired for their huge dowries their fathers were willing to pay in exchange for marrying into aristocracy. These girls were the way many American tycoons and millionaires got around the American law against aristocracy titles in the new world as well as gaining more power amongst their own circles. The English would gain funds long overdue to provide for their failing estates as the world progressed beyond them. The dollar princess was the saving grace of many families during that time.

#ciel phantomhive x reader #reader insert #black butler ciel #kuroshitsuji #ciel phantomhive imagines #f reader #female reader #kuroshitsuji x reader #black butler x reader #black butler x you #kuroshitsuji x you

[holylulusworld]

The story

Summary: She's not going to let him down.

Pairing: TFATW!Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Warnings: angst, self-loathing, Bucky feels not worth being loved, written in Bucky’s PoV, fluff

A/N: Inspired by the song “The Story” by Brandi Carlile. Lyrics are taken from the song.

Sequel to: Ruined

No one wants to hear my story. I get it. I’m a relic from the past most people want to forget about.

Why think about dark times and the monsters I worked for? Or what I had to endure.

Even my best friend, the man I considered my brother, left me to go back to better times.

Steve wanted to live the dream he believed he wanted. He didn’t care that I had to hold his hand when he died. 

I’m stuck in this world, with my past hanging over me like a dark cloud. There is nothing I can do about it. 

The only light in my life is her. She makes the world brighter, and my life bearable.

Sometimes I believe I’m not attractive enough for her. I have lines across my face, and scars litter my body and mind. 

She’s perfect, looking like an angel. Every man turns their head when she enters a room. I always wonder why she chose me.

My girl left this perfect guy. He had it all. The looks, a shit-ton of money, and a good reputation. I can’t even hate him. It’s not his fault that my life got fucked up so bad that I can’t even sleep.

No wonder he fought tooth and nail and even played dirty to get her back. He spread rumors and lies about me, and Sam. Telling everyone we turned dark and tried to extort him. 

Y/N refused to go back to him. She even sent the huge diamond ring I’ll never be able to afford back to him. My girl told him to fuck off and grow up.

Still, I hate the man I see in the mirror. He’s not the cocky man going to war, or dancing with the ladies.

I feel like my body and soul are scared so badly that I’m not going to heal. And I don’t mean my missing arm, and the pain I feel most days.

“Baby,” her soft voice brings me out of my thoughts. She breaks the endless circle of self-loathing once again. “Stop it right now.”

Y/N wraps her arms around my waistline from behind. She dips her head to look at me in the mirror. “I love you the way you are,” Y/N says and kisses the scar tissue around my metal arm. “There is not a single thing I’d change about you, baby.”

“Y/N,” I stare at the man in the mirror as she steps next to me to take my hand. “I—”

“Look again, B,“ she says. “For me. I want you to see the man I see.”

I exhale sharply and drop my gaze. It’s so hard to look at myself and like what I see. 

“What do you see in me? I’m…no good.”

“Bucky, look again,” she squeezes my hand, holding it tightly. “Please…”

I lift my gaze, and oddly I see a different man. 

All of these lines across my face Tell you the story of who I am So many stories of where I've been And how I got to where I am

The longer I stare at myself, the more I see.

I see the young man, full of dreams, who tries to lift his small and weak friend up. 

I see the soldier, becoming a man during endless nights spent in fear of getting killed.

I see the prisoner, praying that the monsters capturing him end his life.

I see the man, freed of his shackles as his best friend became a hero.

I see the man fighting alongside Captain America. Brave and fierce.

I see the wounded man, torn apart and put back together by the enemy.

I see the Winter Soldier.

I see the man buying plums first thing after he escaped his handlers.

I see the man fighting alongside his best friend.

I see the man losing it all again.

I see the man finding love when he is about to give up.

“I’m nothing without you, doll. You helped me become this man too,” I dip my head to glance at my girl. “I want you to look at yourself too and see the woman I see.”

She smiles, and we look at the mirror again. Together.

But these stories don't mean anything When you've got no one to tell them to It's true, I was made for you

“You came a long way, Bucky,” she says. “I know that there are still things you don’t want to talk about. But if you are ready, I’ll be here to hold your hand. Always.”

“Always.”

Tags in reblog.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x female reader #tfatws!bucky #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #female reader #angst #fluff #The story

[sovietpostcards]

Hey! Are you from Russia? If you are - how was your process with learning English? I've been learning Russian for a few years now and cases are kicking my ass to this day

I am Russian and I live in Russia. My process was quite long and not always effective. I started getting English lessons at grade 2 at school (I was 7 then). We had English all throughout school until the last, 11th grade. Although it was so many years, it didn't give me much in terms of actually knowing the language. We had a different teacher every year, we had no motivation and we weren't really required to speak in order to pass, you'd be OK if you learnt the words. I did learn all irregular verbs by heart at school, which eventually proved very handy.

By year 11 I decided I quite liked English and wanted to get into Linguistics in uni. (Spoiler: didn't happen.) My parents hired a private teacher for me and I spent a whole year taking lessons. She was a very methodical woman and gave me what I needed—a system. By the end of school I had a clear understanding of tenses, sentence structure, articles etc.

After that I was on my own. I always had a lot of interests and I put them to use for learning English. Like, in the year 1999 I would be on the dial-up internet looking for the Backstreet Boys lyrics and then translating them using a pen, a paper notebook and a heavy dictionary.

In 2000 I got my first pen pals from outside of Russia and started writing letters in English—a great way to put your language skills to work.

I've always read a lot—articles, forums, letters, books. A lot of my language comes from there. I will often use a tense or choose an article based on "it feels good, familiar" rather than because I know a rule.

I feel truly sorry for everyone who has to battle the Russian grammar, you're a hero for even trying! I'm glad I don't have to learn that if I'm honest. English grammar it so much simpler. But Russian offers a lot of fun ways to play with words and make your own! It's like lego, get some bricks and start building. :D There's also tons of stuff in Russian on the internet, find something that interests you and take a dive.

Good luck! Do come by sometimes to brag of new accomplishments. :)

[maochira]

Sie haben sich gegen uns verschworen, uns're alten Egos. (Reo Mikage x reader)

They have conspired against us, our old egos.

Tags: gn!reader x Reo Mikage, angst, breakup, neither Reo nor reader is meant to be "in the right" here, no dialogue only narration, not proofread I wrote this in one sitting

A/N: "alten Egos" sounds similar to "alter ego" it just doesn't translate that way into English. It's a lyric from Alligatoah's song Stay in Touch

You had the intention to go the same path in life. You really did. And you tried to walk that path.

You always knew Reo never genuinely wanted to follow in his father's footsteps. That's why the two of you started daydreaming of the life you were going to have as soon as you turned 18. There was never a specific plan, only ideas you would occasionally extend on and thoughts that had the chance to become reality in the not-so-far-anymore future.

You were the first one to find out about Reo's dream to win the soccer World Cup. You thought of it as another one of those dreams that you would just think and talk about to fantasize about your future together, but not as a serious thing that he wants to succeed with.

And then he met Nagi. But you still didn't think of it as anything serious. Sure, they were great at soccer. But could they become good enough? You kept doubting it but kept those doubts to yourself. You let your boyfriend continue dreaming.

Reo noticed that. He didn't need you expressing any of those doubts verbally, he already knew which thoughts would constantly run through your head as soon as he'd address anything related to soccer. And it hurt him. A lot. Knowing you, the person he loved the most in the world, didn't truly believe in the dream that he was so desperate to achieve.

After all, Reo always believed in each of your dreams, no matter how silly or unachievable they sounded. He never doubted anything you fantasized about. Reo always believed in you, even with the silliest things.

But you didn't believe in him.

And slowly, that turned Reo's love for you into something he's never felt for you before: Spite.

And then the perfect chance to express that spite came. And while he had enough other reasons to join the Blue Lock program, proofing himself to you was one of the biggest reasons.

Reo left without telling you. He didn't expect to have his phone taken away.

But even when he got it back, he didn't want to talk to you. He dreaded the moment he would see your notifications pop up.

So he blocked you.

First, you spent days wondering why none of your messages went through. Then you questioned why Reo didn't come to school again - shortly after, you noticed Nagi was gone as well.

Then you went to Reo's place, only to be met by his parents who finally answered at least one of your questions.

But then you realized your messages finally went through, so you were happy he got access to his phone again. You were happy, for exactly 3 seconds until you realized Reo blocked you now.

Never blocking the other was a strict rule you and Reo made in the beginning of the relationship. So for you, this meant he broke up with you.

For Reo, it didn't. However, he had been considering ending the relationship back when the feelings of spite started. But even when he carried feelings like that for you, he also still had love for you deep in his heart.

That was... How long ago? You don't even remember. You spent so many nights crying with a broken heart and wondering why Reo broke up without an explanation. You used to check your phone almost hourly, hoping there would be a message from Reo or that he would at least unblock you.

But no, nothing. Only silence.

You knew doubting his dream wasn't right - but at least you never said that directly and never discouraged him either. You still figured out Reo noticed your true thoughts on his dream of winning the World Cup.

Maybe that's something you and Reo should have talked about. It's definitely something you should have talked about. If you had been honest about your thoughts and if Reo had told you how he feels about your lack of genuine support, maybe that could have saved everything.

Or maybe not. Maybe that would have led to an even earlier breakup.

No matter how often you replayed all sorts of ways that could have saved the relationship, you always spiralled into the various results those alternatives could have ended in an earlier breakup.

Maybe you and Reo were never meant to be. Maybe he's meant to be with Nagi.

You decided to give up and move on. Any thought of Reo would be pushed away immediately and be replaced by "He's meant to be with Nagi."

In the meantime, Reo was going through his own things in Blue Lock. Getting closer with Nagi, winning the first selection and moving on to the second one. Separating from Nagi, even though he didn't want to.

It just felt too familiar to him. This feeling of being separated from someone so important to him. The pressure and emptiness he felt at the same time when he blocked you.

The even worse pain he felt when he tried to contact you again, only to find out by now you've blocked him as well.

The pain that turned into frustration that he projected on Nagi. Because Nagi reminded him of what he felt about you already. Because Nagi made him go through that pain again.

...Even though it was Reo's own fault. At least when it came to you.

Reo didn't deal well with his feelings in many ways. There's a lot that should have been talked out properly. A lot he could have prevented.

And suddenly, all he felt about you was regret. Regret about not telling you where he was going, about blocking you and about not talking to you in time.

But hey, now there's this two-week break from Blue Lock. He can go home. He can meet up with you and fix everything.

No, he can't. Because you already set your mind on the fact that you were never the right person for him anyway.

#💟 maochira writes #blue lock #bllk #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #blue lock x you #bllk x you #reo mikage #mikage reo #reo x reader #reo x you #reo mikage x reader #reo mikage x you

[therealvinelle]

You mentioned Love never dies in one of your recent podcast episodes. I would love to hear if you have any more thoughts about that you would like to share here?

Oh little do you know.

@theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin and I first watched Love Never Dies when Andrew Lloyd Webber released musicals for COVID, it was instantly the most incredible thing either of us had ever seen and we watched it again as soon as Muffin came online the next day.

We have since rented it, rewatched it before the 48 hour rent period expired, and I think watched it a fifth time somehow though I don't recall the details for it. It's... very possible we watched it thrice that rent period. One of them was broadcast to the Rank Heresy discord server, so it did have a purpose, we just... also rewatched it...

Love Never Dies is the single funniest, most delightful, most entertaining and glorious musical we have ever seen. Everything about it, from the uncomfortable incest anthem, to TEN YEARS OOOOOOOOLD, to the nonsensical "Devil takes the hindmost!" leitmotif (thought I was having an English fail, but no, Muffin had no idea what that meant either), to the Phantom's great artistic vision being a Coney Island circus extravaganza where girls sing about swimsuits, to said extravaganza hemorrhaging money so Meg has to prostitute herself to keep the lights on, to Christine dying at the end and Ralph says to the child he raised, "Aight son, hope you like phantoms because you'll be living with one from now on. Kk bye", to ALW being so mad the ugly guy he projected on lost the girl that he wrote the whole thing in the first place (um actually Christine loved the Phantom so after the ending scene where she chose Raoul she actually ran back into the opera basement, made love to the Phantom, then ran back again to Ralph. It was a night of passion and the song about it will take ten minutes. Beneath a Moonless Sky, my beloved. Also Raoul is a stupid idiot who spent all his money and Christine regrets everything).

And yes, the above list was only going to be a few lines long but I couln't stop naming beautiful things I loved.

Oh my goodness, another thing I almost forgot (which is sayign something!): the Phantom finds out Christine and Raoul have a child, his immediate response is "Ah, yes, it would be a shame if something... happened... to that child..."

Proceeds to get the child on his own while his parents are distracted, only the child starts playing the piano... my god... the child is ten years old... MY GOD...

This is where we get the incest anthem, the Phantom drops the infanticide plans and starts serenading his son about the beauty underneath, a terrible intense impulse you must follow, and desires we deny ourselves, how his son will accept and embrace it, and... the lyrics are just so bad, alright, and the acting somehow made it worse. Watch at your own peril.

Wild fucking ride.

#also worth a mention: madam giry hating on those savages in paris who hunted down the phantom #MADAM YOU LED THEM TO HIM #DO YOU NOT REMEMBER THIS #anyway she loves the phantom more than meg now so get working meg #phantom of the opera #love never dies #anti love never dies #incest mention

[5am-mist]

Plz like Bella and reader driving around as friends late at night and having a really intense kiss

Late night drives

°pairing°> bella ramsey x reader

°summary°> you and bella go out for a late night drive as friends you guys come back as something more

°requested?°> yeppp!

~°A/N°~

hiyaa! this one took me a while so im super sorry but regardless i hope you enjoy! remember to take care of yourselves and thank you for the request! also i have no idea if i did your request justice im so sorry if i didn't:(

It was late. Like really late, you and Bella had spent the past few hours watching movies, laughing and overall messing around. Time always seemed to pass so much faster when you were with Bella, minutes felt like seconds and hours felt like minutes.

"we should go on a drive" you suggested you had no clue where the idea came from but it was late and you weren't about to question yourself. "yea ok, lets go" he said looking at you with possibly the biggest smile you've ever seen, you two sat there for a whole 2 minutes just staring at eachother before bursting back into giggles.

You had absolutely no idea where you were going, Bella on the other hand said that they 'knew a place'. The roads were empty the only things occupying them being the light from the street lights and Bella's car.

The windows were rolled all the way down and the spotify playlist you both made together was turned almost all the way up (Bella kept telling you that you'd wake up everyone in a 5 mile radius but still screamed along to all the lyrics with you).

Eventually the car came to a stop meaning that you were at this so called spot. You were at a loss for words when you saw the collage of different colored lights. You looked over at them to say thank you only to see him already staring at you.

" You're staring doofus," you comment following it with a light shove and a laugh. Your laugh. A sound that made Bella weak in the knees. "I know." You tried your very best not to get flustered by this but your face betrays you as you begin to feel your cheeks getting hotter.

You had pushed your feelings for Bella away along time ago. Of course they were still there but you chose to ignore them because you simply just couldn't risk losing Bella due to a silly crush. Bella had done the exact. same. thing. However they knew that they simply couldn't do it any longer. He loved you. They wanted nothing more than to hold and kiss you. She wanted to be able to call you her partner. They of course hoped things would go well but if they didn't they hoped you guys could atleast stay friends.

"hey i actually needed to say something," your heart begins to beat rapidly as you hear that sentence, your mind racing a mile a minute as to what he would say next. Bella on the other hand was trying to find the right words. They ultimately decided to just say everything on their mind and hope they don't make an absolute fool of himself.

" I love you, i mean really love you. i love how your hair falls, i love your smile could kill 1000 men in an instant, i love how absolutely perfect you look with out even trying, i love how we share the same stupid humor. I love everything about you and if Im being 100% honest there is nothing more i want to do right now than kiss you."

You're stunned, only for a second though because before you know it you you're reaching over to hold his face in your hands. You pull them into a kiss, it was short you were simply testing the waters. Pulling away you two looked in eachothers eyes, which wasn't very long lived as Bella pulled you right back in for another kiss.

This time it was different. It was passionate but hungry, you both wanted this for so long now and it was better than you both could've ever imagined. You're hands went up to their hair as you deepened the kiss. One of their hands traveled down to your waist while the other was being used to keep you two stable. This went on for a while with short breaks in between for much needed air.

Eventually you break the kiss, your hands still playing with her hair. It was quiet, with you two looking into each others eyes, you two really didn't need to say anything but eventually Bella breaks the comfortable silence. " So will you be my partner?"

"I'll have to think about it...yes of course!" you giggled which only sent them into a fit of laughter himself.

#bella ramsey x reader #bella ramsey #lgbtq #the last of us #tlou hbo #tlou