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reallivegeekgirl · 3 years

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StanQuest

Something clicked on in my brain a couple months ago and suddenly Sebastian Stan became the hottest man alive. So I decided to watch everything he’s ever been in. A friend and I called it StanQuest.

Here are my spoiler-free reviews for anyone considering something similar (in inverse chronological order starting with latest works and going back in time. The stars are an overall rating of the work, not of Sebastian’s performance.

This only lists things I could find streaming for free or a price I was willing to pay. It does not count after credits scenes, music videos, or works in which he was uncredited.

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (2021) - TV show - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - This started it all. I very much enjoyed it. Good balance of humor and action, heart and heroics. I’ve watched it four times already, and will watch it again. Bucky Barnes is my favorite character of his and this is my favorite story of Bucky's so far. I can’t wait to see what he does next. (And I have a lot to say about how they treat his trauma in this show. I’ve definitely written about it before and may again.)

Monday (2020) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐ - This is the one where he gets naked. If that’s all you’re looking for, enjoy. It was a very realistic portrayal of a relationship between two deeply flawed people. It can get depressing. But hey, penis.

The Devil All the Time (2020) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - If you think Monday is depressing, this movie says “hold my beer”. But something about it is just captivating. It’s really disturbing, and if you’ve ever been screwed over by American Evangelical Christianity it might be more disturbing. Still, I’ve watched it twice. And as much of a bastard as Lee Bodecker is, he also looks really cuddly. He’s just barely in it.

The Last Full Measure (2019) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - You will cry. A lot. It’s based on a true story. Sebastian plays a man who cares more about his career than this weird quest dumped on his desk by his boss, but changes his mind and his heart as he investigates why a war hero was denied a medal of honor 34 years before. Definitely recommend.

Endings, Beginnings (2019) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - One of two love interests in the complicated life of Shailene Woodley’s Daphne, Sebastian is an adorable mess. The editing is interesting and fresh feeling. Watch it and you’ll see what I mean. Fair amount of sex in this movie, and you see his butt. It’s a very nice butt. I’ve watched this one a few times so far.

Avengers: Endgame (2019) - Movie - ⭐⭐ - There is no reason to watch this movie if you’re not familiar with at least most of the rest of the MCU. It plays merry hob with the rules of time travel, and only makes sense if you don’t really think about it. In my opinion, the ending is really freaking stupid comsidering his character’s history, but at least it sets up TFatWS, which was amazing.

We Have Always Lived in the Castle (2018) - Movie - ⭐ - If you’re into movies that are creepy but also almost nothing happens for most of the movie, this is the one for you. Sebastian is handsome as hell, but also a complete asshole. As fine as he is, I’m not gonna watch this again. I fucking hated it.

Destroyer (2018) - Movie - ⭐⭐- I had a hard time paying attention to the plot because it seemed like they made this movie just to get Nicole Kidman an Oscar nomination for wearing ugly makeup and playing a complete mess of a person. It’s a fine movie, and all of the performances are good. Sebastian looks surprisingly good with the short hair and goatee. Ultimately, the plot is depressing and the whole movie seems kind of pointless.

Avengers: Infinity War (2018) - Movie - ⭐⭐- Again, no reason to watch this if you aren’t already familiar with all the movies leading up to it. It’s long and the villain looks like Grimace and a California Raisin had an evil baby. The ending made me scream with frustration that I had to wait until the next one came out. Now I just watch them back-to-back if I watch them at all. It’s not a good movie, but it is part of a long-form story that I enjoy in general.

I’m Not Here (2017) - Movie - ⭐⭐- Another depressing one. Told over the course of one man’s terrible life, it’s a sad account of how much your parents can fuck you up. Sebastian portrays the middle part of the man’s life. J.K. Simmons plays the current day part and unreliable narrator.. Do not watch unless you are fully prepared to be sad for a really long time after.

I, Tonya (2017) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐- This movie is hilarious. I mean, the true story is insane and really stupid. The spousal abuse is hard to watch, and Sebastian’s mustache in this is a war crime. But the acting is great and it’s a very engaging movie. The parts that aren’t horrifying are pretty funny.

Logan Lucky (2017) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - Watch. This. Movie. Sebastian Stan is only in it a little, but it’s a really fun, clever caper/heist movie and everyone in it is fantastic. I don’t want to say anything else about it if you’re going in fresh. I’ll be rewatching this one a lot

Captain America: Civil War (2016) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - If you ignore how kind of silly the conflict over the Sokovia Accords is, this is a good Marvel movie. Sebastian gets a lot of screen time because Bucky is the more pressing concern/urgent point of contention than the Accords. Bucky is my favorite character of his partly because of this movie.

The Martian (2015) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - I’m watching it(again) as I’m typing this. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve watched it. Sebastian Stan isn’t in it very much, but he’s very cute and so is his little story arc. Mostly I watch it because Ridley Scott made a fantastic movie. If you can get your hands on the Blu-Ray, it comes with a ton of extras. They made a very complete story that isn’t all seen in the movie. A lot of it is stuff about Mars, but there are also extra “crew” interviews, so there’s another chance to see more of Sebastian’s character.

Ricki and the Flash (2015) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - He’s not in this very much, but he’s very cute when he does appear. It’s all about the relationship between Ricki and her daughter. Definitely rewatchable. Meryl Streep is fantastic, because she’s Meryl Streep.

The Bronze (2015) - Movie - ⭐ - This is not a good movie. It’s about Olympic gymnastics, so it might be slightly more interesting right now while the Olympics are happening. Sebastian isn’t in it a lot, but his performance is certainly… memorable. Weirdest sex scene I’ve ever seen. Worth watching just for that.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - This is the one I can watch over and over. I bought a Winter Soldier face mask for when I need to feel like a badass. Bucky’s story is really sad, but he’s also extremely sexy with the metal arm and determined walk.

Once Upon a Time (2012-2013) - TV Show - ⭐⭐⭐ - This show is so stupid, but it’s also fun. If you haven’t seen it, the premise is that fairy tale characters are real and live in another land. Snow White’s Evil Queen casts a spell to transport a bunch of them to a town she creates in Maine called Storybrooke, and gives them all fake memories so she can be mayor and watch them all not remember who they are. Sebastian plays Jefferson, a.k.a. The Mad Hatter. He’s in a few episodes in season 1 and 2, and doesn’t get a ton of screen time, but he’s really cute and tragic as Jefferson. It probably helps to watch the whole first season just to understand his episodes, but that’s up to your tolerance for weird shit. Note: IMDB says he’s in an episode uncredited, but I’ve watched it and didn’t see him anywhere in that one.

Labyrinth (2012) - TV Mini-Series - ⭐⭐⭐ - Two episodes that tell a complete story. Sebastian isn’t in this one a whole lot, but he is adorable. It’s a strange story about religious stuff and a sort of Holy Grail that’s three books. It’s hard to describe. It’s on Amazon Prime right now, but they’re taking it down August 8, 2021, so watch it while you can.

The Apparition (2012) - Movie - ⭐ - If you like horror movies, you might like this. I did not. From what I understand, it’s not a very good horror movie. Watch with caution and expect it to suck.

Political Animals (2012) - TV Mini-Series - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - I had to buy this through Apple and watch it on a Mac, but it was worth it. Sebastian plays TJ Hammond, the out gay son of a former American president who is clearly based on Bill Clinton. Sigorney Weaver plays the former first lady and current secretary of state. TJ struggles with addiction and relationship problems. His performance is heart-wrenching. The whole show is pretty great. I wish there was more of it.

Gone (2012) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐ - More of a psychological thriller than a horror movie. Sebastian has a small amount of screen time as the worried boyfriend. Amanda Seyfried is good. She carries the film well on her own.

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - If you haven’t seen this yet, I’d like to know what it’s like under your rock. This is a movie I can rewatch a lot, and have. I 100% cried in the theater. Sebastian looks fantastic in uniform as Bucky Barnes. This is his introduction and the start of his ultimately tragic story (before he’s saved by his best friend, again).

Black Swan (2010) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - Sebastian is barely in this. He’s basically just in one scene in a dance club. But I watched it to try to complete StanQuest, and I had seen it before. It’s a good movie, but might induce some nightmares, depending on what scares you. If Natalie Portman didn’t at least get a nomination for an award she was robbed.

Gossip Girl (2007-2010) - TV Show - ⭐⭐ - Carter Baizen is a little shit. The episodes with Sebastian in them might have made more sense if I watched the show from the beginning, but I didn’t want to. His character is an asshole, but a very cute one.

Hot Tub Time Machine (2010) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐- The people who made this movie are bad at math, and their rules of time travel are sketchy at best, but it is funny and entertaining. Sebastian plays a ski patrol bro who’s paranoid about the Russians, which is hilarious irony to me. Worth watching if you want to laugh at something dumb.

Kings (2009) - TV Show - ⭐⭐⭐- Sebastian plays Jack Benjamin, the closeted gay son of the king of a fictional place. It’s loosely based on the David and Goliath story from the Bible. Sebastian is so sad and so gay. His family makes his life a living hell. Ian McShane is a force of nature in this. It’s only one season. I’ve watched it twice. I will watch it again.

Spread (2009) - Movie - no stars - This movie was practically unwatchable. It stars Ashton Kutcher and Anne Heche as a romantic couple, I guess? I ended up just skipping to Sebastian’s scenes and only watching those. Still painful.

The Covenant (2006) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐ - This movie is so fuckig stupid, and I will watch it a ridiculous number of times. It’s about magic and teenagers, like The Craft for boys. Nothing about it makes sense. It’s terrible, almost irredeemable, but an evil Sebastian with magic powers is a siren song that will make me steer my boat right into the rocks.

And there you have it. There are a bunch of earlier things on IMDB that I just can’t find or don’t want to pay to rent. Maybe some day I’ll watch them and add them to this list.

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turtle-paced · 3 years

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A:tLA Re-Watch: Fine-Toothed Comb Edition

Warning for a heavy episode. This brightly-coloured family show full of optimists and strange critters has a setting built on a genocide.

Book 1, Chapter 3 - The Southern Air Temple

(0:55) Previously on Avatar, Katara and Sokka found Aang in an iceberg. They realised he was there for a hundred years, making him the last known airbender. Katara and Aang decide to go to the North Pole to learn waterbending, Zuko in pursuit.

(1:43) The establishing shot here tells us that we’ve come a decent distance from the South Pole already. There’s no ice in sight.

(1:50) However, Katara is still in a thick winter coat. Partly this has got to be because she doesn’t have other clothing. This is still worth keeping track of, as the recurring cast often change their outfits (according to the weather and cultural demands), usually while keeping the same general ‘look’. There are, however, exceptions.

(1:59) Katara gently tries to manage Aang’s expectations. She still has more information than Aang does about recent history, but what she says here in the face of Aang’s excitement is, “A lot can change in all that time.” This episode will get into showing us the double-edged nature of Katara’s greatest virtue and deepest flaw. Which, in the tradition of many excellent characters (and definitely in keeping with the main cast of the entire series), is the same character trait.

Meanwhile, poor Aang. What an optimist he is - his reaction to learning that he woke up a hundred years in the future is to race home and see how everything’s changed, because it might be really cool and he wants to show his home off to his new friends! In some ways it’s really easy to look past how well Aang handles waking up a hundred years in the future. He’s not openly preoccupied by the fact that it’s likely that everyone he knew and loved is dead, but concentrating on the good stuff he has right this minute.

Like Katara, Aang’s greatest flaw is an extension of his greatest virtue. Aang is fantastic at focusing on the here and now, on the positives of his situation, on keeping his spirits up. Though as we’ll see, this is vitally important in how he stands up under incredible pressures, we’ll also see him ignore real and potential problems coming down the track. Like right here, when despite knowing how shocked everyone was to see an airbender, he ignores Katara’s hint that he’s not going to like what he finds here.

(2:17) Sokka is definitely a teenage boy. Lots of sleep and lots of food required.

(2:27) “There’s a prickle snake in your sleeping bag!” What I’m taking from this is that the fauna of Avatar world was still a work in progress at this point, because they’re not talking about echidna-snakes or porcu-snakes or hedgehog-snakes.

(2:36) We pan over a shipyard full of clearly Fire Navy ships. Even before the details of the flag come in view, there’s the industrialisation, there’s that harsh colour palette, there are those spiky, spiky ships. Plus there’s the horn. The production team is training us to associate these things with Fire Nation.

(2:39) Then the pan across hits Zuko’s ship. This is some brilliant recontextualising of the threat Zuko posed in the previous two episodes. The ships in dock at this timestamp are to Zuko’s ship what Zuko’s ship was to Katara, Sokka, and Aang last episide. It’s also visibly more battered than the others. Yet Zuko is a prince! Three seconds, not a word spoken, and the show’s visually raised some questions about Zuko’s relationship to his nation’s war effort.

Also worth mentioning is the fact that in this episode, Zuko’s ship is a noticeably lighter shade than Zhao’s black metal fleet. Still the bad guys, but that one’s a solid tip that Zuko is the less bad guy. Combined with the aforementioned beat-up ship, this recontextualises Zuko himself. Katara later says that when she thought of the face of the enemy, it’s Zuko she thought of - but the viewer’s got more information than she does, and can see he’s not the operator of the war machine.

(2:48) Zuko orders Iroh not to discuss the Avatar in Fire Nation territory, thus indicating for us that the Fire Nation characters are not all working together for the same goals.

(3:00) “Captain Zhao.” “It’s Commander now.” Another quality introduction! Zuko’s address of Zhao by the incorrect rank shows he’s out of the loop. Zhao’s correction shows us the upwards movement and the importance of his own power to him, the pleasure he takes in this emphasised by the acting. Five words!

The show follows this up by giving some context on Iroh. Zhao greets Iroh as a general and “great hero” of the nation, but where pretty much the first thing out of Zhao’s mouth was “Commander Zhao,” Iroh says that he’s retired, deflecting the praise of his previous career. Zhao also helpfully exposits that Iroh is the Fire Lord’s brother, so we’re clear that Iroh is Zuko’s paternal relation. We haven’t had the same signalling that the Fire Nation is patriarchal that we’ve had with the Water Tribes thus far (we haven’t actually seen a female Fire Nation character yet, and won’t for a while), so it’s still a little hard to know where Iroh stands vis-a-vis inheritance.

(3:10) Zhao refers to the harbour as his harbour. While it saves the writers having to come up with a disposable place name, it again goes to indicate Zhao’s possessiveness of authority.

(3:21) In something that will eventually provide an excellent contrast with Azula, Zuko shows himself to be a terrible liar. Iroh’s not much better. Not in this situation. Man can keep his secrets, but I suspect the real secret is never being asked difficult questions.

(3:47) A rare instance of Iroh hauling Zuko up short and flat up telling him what to do. Show respect. A bigger deal once you know Zuko got a fireball to the face for being disrespectful/‘disrespectful’ in a meeting with military figures. However, given that Zhao controls the harbour, probably necessary for Iroh to step in.

(4:10) Sokka complains about a lack of food supplies. We don’t always need to know where the gAang is getting food, because the show reliably brings up supplies when they’re an issue. We’ll also see this as an issue more in season one, when Katara and Sokka are still getting used to travelling. By the time we hit season three, the group is much more confident in their ability to secure supplies even in areas they don’t know well.

On top of this, Aang’s use of Sokka’s jerky as kindling is the first part of the understated running gag that Aang just does not like Southern Water Tribe cuisine. Vegetarianism aside.

(4:40) Katara gets a bit more blunt about what’s likely at the Southern Air Temple. This is the first mention of the fact that Katara and Sokka’s as-yet-unnamed mother was killed in a Fire Nation raid. Remarkably for a kids’ show, they actually say that Kya was killed and discuss the fact that the Fire Nation might have killed all the airbenders.

For Aang’s part, this is a bit repetitive, but the new info about Katara’s family situation keeps the plot and character development moving along.

(4:58) At the same time, for all the flack he gets about being naive, Aang’s rebuttal isn’t “people wouldn’t be so cruel!”, he’s arguing that the Air Temples are literally inaccessible without airbending in some form and that therefore death on the scale Katara thinks might have taken place is logistically impossible.

(5:20) The setting design in this series is amazing, and the Southern Air Temple is actually kind of meh by the series’ later standards (Western Air Temple is where it’s at, IMO). That said, you wonder how much pre-war architecture outside the North and South Poles was a joint effort between different types of benders. In a really nice detail, you can see the airball field from this shot.

(5:36) “And by year’s end, the Earth Kingdom capital will be under our rule.” Zhao implicitly puts the series on a timetable here, even before we get the details.

Tellingly, when we pan out, Zuko is not engaged in this assessment. He’s literally got his back turned. He’s doing bad things for bad reasons, but it’s not naked imperialism fuelling his determination. We’ll get into what Zuko thinks about the war effort a bit more in season two, when he starts actually thinking about the Fire Nation’s war, more critically and carefully than he expresses in his next line.

In the meantime, a) it’s the height of privilege that Zuko can turn his back on this and b) I do wonder if Zuko’s criticism of his father here wasn’t some early instalment weirdness, with the writers not having quite nailed down the dynamics between Zuko and his parental figures.

(5:48) “Two years at sea have done little to temper your tongue.” So! First, more timeline for us. Second, the implication here is that Zuko was known to be outspoken. Imprudently outspoken.

(6:03) Once again Zuko can’t lie very well, but unlike that moment when he was just getting off the ship, this isn’t played for laughs. Zuko can’t lie very well, and that’s serious. Also, Zhao confirms the Air Nomad genocide over here in the B-plot, while over in the A-plot we’re still waiting for that painful shoe to drop. Builds tension - it’s not just Katara’s suspicions anymore, but straight from the mouth of a Fire Nation commander.

(6:19) Can’t help but notice that Zhao is a firm believer in the Avatar’s power. The man has done his spirit research.

(6:23) “If you have an ounce of loyalty left, you’ll tell me what you found.” More implications that Zuko is not perceived to be totally on board with broader Fire Nation goals. If he was, why would his loyalty be in question?

(6:38) Zhao halts Zuko here as his men report that they interrogated Zuko’s own soldiers offscreen. So this entire thing was never about how well Zuko could lie, but Zhao giving Zuko enough rope to hang himself. Zhao ends up being lower stakes and lower competence compared to the endgame villains, but man, even now, the villains of this show do not mess around.

(7:06) Speaking of early-instalment weirdness, not sure the writers worked out quite what to do with Sokka this episode. He’s basically a running gag in this episode, almost entirely lacking in depth and nuance. Almost entirely - I’ll point out those moments when we get to them.

(7:22) For all Aang believed his people might be alive, he can’t deny the emptiness of the temple.

(7:33) There we go! There’s the depth from Sokka that repeated “I’m hungry” gags don’t get through. Sokka sees that Aang is depressed, and asks a question about something Aang genuinely enjoys. Followed by the cut to Aang thoroughly kicking Sokka’s ass at a sport designed for airbenders.

(7:53) Sokka let Aang kick his ass at an airbending sport for seven rounds.

(8:06) More nuance from Sokka as he and Katara find evidence of Fire Nation soldiers on temple grounds. He says that he and Katara should tell Aang, but when Katara decides otherwise, he doesn’t overrule her and force the confrontation. He respects that Katara’s got the better relationship with Aang. At the same time, his call-out of her failure to tell Aang is a pretty gentle one that recognises why she doesn’t want to tell him.

This is what I mean by Katara’s greatest strength also being one of her most severe character flaws. She’s so driven to help and protect the people she cares about - but this occasionally veers into being overprotective.

(8:49) Sokka continues to argue that Katara should tell Aang after the cut. Goes to show some of the differences between the siblings. Katara puts her friend’s feelings first, Sokka prioritises truth and facts. Handled badly, I’m sure we can all see how this could be extremely sexist storytelling.

Here, though, the story appreciates that the harsh truth of what happened to the Air Nomads is unimaginably harsh, and should be broken appropriately. Aang needs to know the truth, and Aang deserves emotional consideration for the impact of that truth. Katara’s not wrong to be sensitive about a sensitive subject; she’s just wrong in taking that last step in lying by omission.

(8:57) Aang introduces Monk Gyatso via statue, so we have some idea of Aang’s family situation. Note the outfit.

(9:06) Cut from the solemn and wise statue to Gyatso imparting important cake-baking airbending techniques to Aang. These are some priorities I can get behind. And frankly you can see the similarity between the teacher who uses airbending to help with baking, to Aang who uses airbending to get bison snot out of clothes. Practical, everyday use.

(9:22) “The only mistake [the monks] made was telling you before you turned sixteen.” More implications! Aang was told about being the Avatar very young. Reasoning left obscure. It’s also giving some texture to the Air Nomads; they’re not idealised, but capable of making ordinary human mistakes right off the bat.

(9:29) “We must act on what is,” Monk Gyatso says, which is also clearly something else Aang took to heart. The pan over the Southern Air Temple as it was a hundred years ago is also pretty heartbreaking, with all the greenery, and the bison, and the people.

(9:47) Next plot flag, guide for Aang in the inner sanctuary.

(10:08) I strongly disapprove of wasted cake. Though as we see, Gyatso was trying to maintain Aang’s sense of fun and improve his aim, both of which are legitimate goals.

(10:54) Aaaaand Sokka’s back to being a food joke.

(11:58) More hints at Zuko’s status given that Commander Zhao feels pretty safe calling the Fire Lord’s son pathetic.

(12:10) This gives us another layer of complexity in Zuko’s plot this season. He’s now competing with Zhao to find the Avatar. More than that, he’s the underdog here, compared to the much better resourced Zhao.

This is some vital positioning to maintain audience engagement in the heel part of Zuko’s slow heel-face-turn, where the risk is people turning off Zuko as he does bad things for bad reasons. We don’t meet Zhao from Aang, Katara, and Sokka’s point of view, where he’d be pretty similar to Zuko in some important ways. We meet Zhao from Zuko’s PoV, so we’re clear on how Zuko is better by comparison, and so we barrack for Zuko to continue to show those better qualities.

(12:30) In a rare background detail failure, not many of these Avatar statues appear to depict female Avatars.

(13:07) A characterisation detail for Aang I like. Upon realising that every statue here depicts one of his past lives, he doesn’t appear to feel it as an oppressive weight - no, he treats it as a Cool Thing.

Meanwhile, Sokka doesn’t believe in reincarnation. While hanging out with the Avatar.

(13:21) Our first look at Roku. (Next to him, it’s Very Definitely Not Kyoshi. Early instalments!)

(13:31) And the exposition! Now we know who it was vanished from that spire in the intro.

(13:45) The show frames Aang’s knowledge of Roku’s name as a sign of their connection, past life to reincarnation. Personally, I would have thought that especially in Aang’s time, people would have been quite likely to know the name of the previous Avatar. Given that Katara and Sokka were both born a hundred odd years after Roku died, and grew up in a very isolated place, I can believe that they wouldn’t have known Roku’s name.

(14:00) Even in the middle of the Southern Air Temple, the kids immediately hide when they hear footsteps and see a shadow, assuming it’s a firebender approaching. That’s how cautious they are already.

(14:17) Introducing Momo!

(15:23) What starts riling Zuko up here is Zhao treating him as inconsequential. Kid covers up his deep-seated self-worth issues by insisting on the external validation.

(15:33) Aside from Zhao emphasising the disparity in his and Zuko’s respective resources, Zhao also tells us that Zuko is formally banished.

(15:38) But then Zhao gets to the heart of Zuko’s issues. “Your own father doesn’t even want you.” We’ve seen this episode that Zuko’s got the one battered little ship. We know from the previous episodes that Zuko needs to capture the Avatar, and heard his desire to return home. Now we get the concrete info that Zuko’s dad kicked him out.

Again, this is all important in setting up Zuko’s long arc. This kid is being treated horribly by a representative of his own nation. The viewers are already being given reasons not to want to see Zuko defeated, but to want him to get out.

(15:47) When Zuko maintains that his father will welcome him home with honour if he just captures the Avatar, Zhao immediately undermines that idea by telling Zuko that if his father really wanted him, he’d’ve just rescinded the banishment without conditions. He’s Fire Lord, he can do that. This is another case of both sides being right here! Ozai does eventually welcome Zuko home with honour for ‘killing the Avatar’ - but by then Zuko’s got an inkling that Ozai’s acceptance is 100% conditional, and his father does not truly want Zuko back or care for him as a person. Because if he did care about Zuko as a person, he’d never have done any of the things he did in Zuko’s backstory.

(16:01) Zhao says that Zuko’s scar proves he’s a failure and a disgrace. Details left out. It’s enough to connect Zuko’s scar with his banishment, though.

(16:07) The introduction of Agni Kai, which is clearly a duel.

(16:17) Iroh asks Zuko if he remembers the last time he challenged a master. Zuko replies in the affirmative as we pan from the unscarred side of his face to the scarred side. Again, implications. Combined with Zhao’s earlier comments about Zuko’s time at sea not tempering his tongue, we actually have a decent picture of the events leading up to Zuko’s banishing, here in episode three. We definitely have the implications that Zuko said something, fought a duel against a master, lost (or he wouldn’t be a failure), and was scarred.

The show won’t confirm this for another ten episodes. But the backstory’s there.

(16:32) Meanwhile, back in the A plot, Aang chases Momo around the ruins of the Southern Air Temple.

(16:41) And comes across a rather grisly sight for a kids’ show. There are a lot of bodies in the room Aang walks into, arranged so it’s clear this was no accident.

(16:49) Gets worse as Aang spots Gyatso’s distinctive necklace (which was in focus on the statue earlier). There’s no good way to find this out, but Aang stumbled into the scene of his parental figure’s violent demise. Again, with the context of ‘The Storm’, this is way, way worse. It was already bad.

(17:07) Aang is understandably distraught, and unfortunately distraught untrained Avatar = Avatar state.

(17:22) As Katara wanders through the sanctuary and its depictions of past Avatars, she sees the eyes of the statues light up and knows that something’s up with Aang.

(17:26) Cut to elsewhere (definitely Earth Kingdom), followed by what must be the Northern Water Tribe, and the Fire Nation, where their depictions of Avatars are also lit up. Note that the Earth Kingdom’s mural definitely looks more like Kyoshi.

(17:35) The sages at the Fire Nation temple spell it out - this is inarguable proof that the Avatar’s back. Again ups some tension for us. The Avatar’s return is now public knowledge, and we know more people than Zuko and Zhao will be after our protagonists.

(18:03) When not reduced to a running gag, Sokka is already super quick on the uptake - he put together that Aang discovered his mentor’s corpse from the outfit, too, it seems.

(18:35) Iroh instructs Zuko to remember his firebending basics. We’ve already heard one - the breath.

(18:50) This fight scene helps us do some assessment of how dangerous Zuko and Zhao are in straight fights. Initial threat scaling - we’ll get more information over the course of the season. In the meantime, enjoy the choreography! One of the reasons the fight scenes are great is because the writers and animators did their research into the martial arts styles that bending is based on; another is because they don’t lose sight of the fact that characters are involved, with differing temperaments, goals, and skill sets. Avatar fight scenes convey character as well as progress plot.

Over the brief course of this fight we see Zuko start very aggressively, lose breath control, and get reminded to break Zhao’s footwork. That is, he’s not paying attention to Iroh’s basics. When Zhao counterattacks, Zuko’s defensive work is noticeably weaker than Zhao’s, basically tanking the fireballs on his forearms and torso while he gets pushed backwards (Zhao manages to break fireballs apart or split them well in front of him and away from his core, without losing ground).

(19:40) We can see Zuko’s fear as someone aims a fireball at his face. But with that, he turns the tables, gets up, and starts a counter-counterattack. Aimed at Zhao’s feet, as Iroh said to do. Zuko does not win this fight on skill alone - he wins because when he gets knocked down, he gets back up and tries again, applying the lesson of his previous mistakes. Could this be Zuko’s arc in miniature? I think it might be!

(20:15) Given a free shot at Zhao, Zuko declines to so much as scorch one of his earlobes. A gesture Zhao was not willing to make bare seconds ago, and going by the scar, also not a mercy extended by Zuko’s previous opponent. This is why he’s the less bad guy right now - Zuko’s not hurting people, not even his enemies, just because he can.

(20:29) Cheap shot from Zhao there, so we know he’s not one to accept when he’s lost.

(20:32) Completely cancelled by Iroh, out of fucking nowhere, who effortlessly knocks Zhao on his ass. Like I said, initial threat scaling. Early season one, the extent of Iroh’s abilities are hinted at rather than showcased.

(20:52) “Even in exile, my nephew is more honourable than you,” Iroh says. He also thanks Zhao for the tea.

(21:03) “Did you really mean that, Uncle?” Zuko asks, once they’re out of Zhao’s earshot. There speaks a young man who does not often get positive feedback from anyone, and who can’t believe someone was sincere about their public praise.

(21:08) Iroh implies that he meant it, without explicitly saying so. It’s graceful - gives Zuko that confirmation, but doesn’t put Zuko in a place where he has to accept a compliment he’s not ready for or equipped to handle.

(21:15) Meanwhile, back at the A-plot, we’re seeing Katara at her best. It’s true that her desire to protect Aang didn’t work and didn’t help. We don’t leave off on the ‘greatest weakness’ part, but on the ‘greatest strength’ part. She empathises with Aang’s pain and offers of herself to help Aang. “Sokka and I - we’re your family now.” Without hesitation.

(21:38) The Water Tribe siblings step closer to each other for reassurance once the threat of being blown off the mountain has receded. Little things like that show you how close Katara and Sokka are.

(21:46) Again, Sokka’s got Katara’s back in her decision that Aang is now family. He doesn’t initiate like Katara does, but he’s on board.

(21:53) The first thing Aang says is “I’m sorry.” I can’t help but think that the uncontrolled Avatar State must really, really suck for Aang. It’s not gone into in any detail, but how bad must he feel that he endangered his new friends and further damaged the temple? His first words here are to apologise to others, rather than continuing to manage his own grief.

Aang is a very thoughtful person in many ways.

(22:03) Not stupid, though, as he can see that if the Fire Nation targeted the Southern Air Temple, chances are good they got to the others as well. Katara hugs him as he tries to deal with the fact that he is the last airbender.

(22:17) Aang emphasises the fact that he’s going to need some help from Roku. Just throwing that out there for future plot.

(22:44) “You, me, and Appa are all that’s left of this place,” Aang says with what seems rather likely to be a faked smile. He and Katara laugh at the newly-named Momo’s theft of Sokka’s fruit.

(23:04) But the fact that this doesn’t erase Aang’s grief is emphasised by the end of episode, where he silently watches the ruined and empty Southern Air Temple recede into the distance. Even though he’s good at putting up a front and focusing on the good things that are, the loss of his home and people will underpin Aang’s character for the rest of the series.

This episode is a damned important one, and the importance comes out more when looked at holistically rather than my running commentary above. For Katara and Sokka, this episode gives the key detail of their mother’s death, and gives them that solid and explicit emotional commitment to Aang that will provide them with motivation for sticking with him all series, but this isn’t their episode.

This episode kicks Aang out of his past and locks Aang into the hero’s journey in the A-plot. Meanwhile, in the B-plot, it sets Zuko up not as a primary villain, but as a deuteragonist, catching us up on how he too has been kicked out of home and left to quest. This episode shows us why neither protagonist nor deuteragonist can go home again.

#a:tla #cw: violence #cw: abuse #fine toothed comb edition

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masterthespianduchovny · 3 years

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Tbh, I believe some of the reaction to Steve’s ending is an overreaction and, mostly, nothing to do with Steve or the point they are defending. I want to stress that I am saying some before people mistake that as well. And if you disagree, that’s fine.

1. In MY experience, because I’m not going to pretend ive read most takes on Endgame or read every crevice, people only talk about the timeline being ruined when it came to what Steve did and NOT how other timelines were meddled with. Someone could argue that Steve intentionally meddled, but according to the rules of time travel, intentionality doesn’t matter.

Who knows the unforeseen consequences behind knocking out Tony’s reactor. Who knows what happens with old cap after encountering endgame cap and not only fighting him, but hearing the name “Bucky?” Who knows the consequences of thanos and quo being transported 9 years into the future. Or what about the lady that spots Steve and Tony? And how Tony conversed with his dad.

We’re told or it’s implied that any interference can have devastating consequences, yet only Steve’s last decision is obsessively discussed.

2. Peggy’s agency allegedly being undermined. Sure, people could argue by the sheer virtue of going back in time and talking to her he’s undermined her agency, but we don’t even know how their original discussion went. We do not know what went down and people are robbing Peggy of her agency by essentially stating that Peggy had no choice in the matter.

Are we forgetting how intelligent Peggy is? That Peggy potentially asked Steve how was any of “this” even possible and the implication of his actions. And if it come off as condescending or patronizing, I apologize, but imho, it appears that some people, generally speaking, believe that because they dislike something that’s the same as it being bad. Other than, they just dislike what was given to us.

But, how does this undermine Peggy’s arc or rob her of her agency? How? I think some people want it to mean that her arc was undermined to prove Steve shouldn’t have went back to the past. And do people actually care about Peggy’s unnamed husband whose face we never see? Do they really care about her kids?

3. Bucky. People often cite the end of the line remark, but honestly, I think that’s being seen through a shipper lens. Steve and Bucky will clearly fight for each other to make sure the other is safe when they’re in present danger and will advocate for each other if necessary, but they’ve never been joined at the hip.

These are two people who are close who not only regularly acted independent of each other pre serum, was fine going long stretches without being around each other. I’m not even sure if they wrote each other letters. But, they most defintely love and care for each other.

So, pre serum Steve and Bucky are close, but aren’t around each other all of the time. They are fine going long stretches of time without communicating. And, even when reunited after Steve stormed the base solo, they still largely do their own thing. But, even back then, they’d die for each other.

When we get to winter soldier, Bucky’s death was still fresh for Steve. It’s only been a “few” years for him. He still feel responsible for not being able to save Bucky. But, not only that, Bucky was experimented on, was brainwashed, and a POW of Hydra’s—not only is Steve going to take that personally, he wasn’t going to give up on hydra even if it killed him.

Post destroying the helicarriers, Steve wants to look for Bucky after the film concludes to make sure Bucky is safe and has everything he needs.

In civil war, Steve’s mission goes from checking in on buckys well being to making sure Bucky isn’t murdered for something he was forced to do. When Bucky was originally arrested unharmed, Steve was fine. He’s not obsessing over Bucky. Then, when Bucky is brainwashed again, Steve refuses to leave Bucky to his own devices.

After civil war, Steve drops Bucky off in Wakanda and doesn’t think twice about it. Bucky is safe and has the proper resources to heal. They spend two more years apart; they largely haven’t spent any significant time together since Bucky regained his memory. Steve might have called Bucky via T’Challa.

And, just to be clear, I’m not arguing against stucky, it’s not my ship, but people can ship whatever they like, it’s the fact that we’re consistently shown that Steve and Bucky aren’t dependent on each other. That their lives and decisions do not revolve around one another. The idea that Bucky needs Steve or that Steve is abandoning Bucky is absurd.

4. Steve’s ending being a regression. People argue that Steve’s storyline is about moving on all while overlooking the fact that he consistently struggled with doing it.

In winter soldier, nat tries to get him to go on dates and Steve points out that is hard because the lack of shared experience. He clings to both Peggy and Bucky in different ways. They are both living, breathing pieces of his past that he was “taken” from.

Instead of having Sharon kiss him and this go no where (because it was poorly developed), they should’ve had Steve reflect on what Peggy’s death mean to him personally and moving on with his life. I guess her death and the kiss was supposed to signify that, but we don’t actually explore the character. We don’t allow him to sit with it. These things are done to shortcut the storytelling without actually exploring it in the world. But, Steve doesn’t talk about moving or and none of his actions support this in the overall story. Again, what we do see is for the benefit of the viewer and not Steve.

But, the biggest thing is: why do people conveniently ignore that what happened in infinity wars could lead to a huge regression? People talk about how Steve was “moving on”, but ignore the five year hell of post snap and him admitting that they “the avengers” couldn’t move on. That their failure would leak into other parts of his life as well and make him reconsider things?

5. Found family. It’s quite clear that the avengers, most of them, largely do not hang out together. They aren’t around each other unless they’re saving the world. Steve did not abandon his family or the avengers. They got along, but they all lived their own lives. And, it’s quite self centered to think you can’t ever leave a group because they can’t function without you. There were more avengers apart of the team then when Steve originally joined, some are powerful than he is and others have shown that they are just as capable leaders as he was or can grow into the role like he did.

But, the idea that Steve “abandoned” the avengers when they needed him most is absurd. His job was to prevent and protect NOT rebuild society. In infinity wars, he fathered the avengers. When the snap happened, he stayed and fought whatever threats popped up, but also ran a support group. Steve stuck through the worst of it. Steve didn’t give up on anyone despite being mentally exhausted. He unselfishly supported humanity as much as he could during that time.

Most of these criticisms ignore that Steve was always sacrificing and living for others. He was always a soldier first. And part of the reason he was so dedicated was because he couldn’t move on.

Many of these criticisms are so spiteful and most of them aren’t even because these fans care about Steve. They care about a found family that doesn’t exist. They care about a ship or ships that are now sunk. Some are upset that Steve lived and Tony died. But, many of them aren’t actually about Steve.

Nat doesn’t get shit for being willing to run away to be with Bruce in age of ultron. Tony doesn’t get shit for abandoning the avengers for five years because they “didn’t listen to him.” Others are allowed to make selfish decisions and put themselves first, but when Steve does it “what about found family??? What about the avengers???”

Almost everyone gets to live their lives MINUS Steve. Clint retired. Tony considered retiring before civil war. Like, minus going to the past and staying there, almost every criticism thrown at Steve can be found in another avenger who received little to no criticism in comparison.

Lastly, I’d also argue that Steve’s selfishness IS a sign of growth. People are allowed to be selfish at times. People are allowed to put themselves first.

At the time, it was important for Steve to move on because he couldn’t change the past. He had to live in the here and now.

But, then an opportunity was presented to him.

“I can go back.”

Steve living in the present was coping. He barely lived his life for himself.

People don’t have to like the ending and the time travel stuff doesn’t make sense from any perspective, but most of these angry takes aren’t about Steve at all.

#pro captain america #pro steve rogers #steve rogers defence club #Steve rogers

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3pirouette · 3 years

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Fic: Iterate (1/1)

Title: Iterate By: TriplePirouette/3Pirouette Spoilers: Up through Endgame. Disclaimer: They're not mine. Word Count: 2953 Distribution: AO3 Anyone else please ask first :)

Summary: Steve lived through the 21st century twice, the second time hurt much more than the first.

A/N: I literally made myself cry today on the way to work while I was working this out in my head. It was SUPPOSED to be FLUFFY. I’m not exactly why I decided on this format, all I know is that it felt right. I hope you enjoy. Steggy is just mentioned, more Steve-centric.

It was supposed to be a stupid, fluffy story about Old Steve living with his granddaughter and being a LITTLE SHIT to her all the time because he’s 100% comfortable with modern things and it drives her nuts. I’m sorry.

Also, please pay attention to vague time stamps. Certain details are changed for impact. Hence, AU (Even though I FULLY BELIEVE that once the stones are placed back there is only ONE main timeline where Steve lived, was Peggy’s husband, and that’s how he showed up at the end of Endgame. Fight me.)

AND I’M SORRY.

~*~ October 2023

He supposed he’d always been waiting for this day. Steve knew he’d be around for it, one way or another. At least, he’d always assumed that, though he’d thought he’d experience it in a very, very different way.

He didn’t know the exact time, just a vague recollection that it was early afternoon, that there had been sunlight they’d blocked out with the blast shields, that they’d tried to eat lunch but they were all too nervous.

Funny. Same thing happened to him today. He couldn’t manage to get anything to slide down past the lump in his throat, couldn’t fill his stomach to calm the butterflies. He tried coffee first. It was warm and robust but had no effect.

He pulled out the tin from the back of the cabinet and made a cup of tea from one of the few remaining bags there. He sipped it and imagined Peggy sitting across from him, telling him off for using old tea that would be bitter and teasing him for how much sugar he put in it.

He drank a beer and wished to god that he had just one flask of whatever it was Thor used to carry around. He needed something to calm his nerves.

He caught his reflection in the window over the sink. For just the briefest second he saw his young self, so broken by so much, not knowing that today would be the day he’d be put to his greatest test. But the sun shifted and he could see every wrinkle in the refection, every grey hair, the haziness to his eyes that the doctor said was the beginning of cataracts.

A lifetime ago this day had changed everything for him without him knowing. Today, he was just as eager for the moment when Banner would put on that glove, this time for very different reasons.

~*~

In the end, Steve Rogers managed to live a fairly normal life.

Once back with Peggy, he kept away from the spotlight. Unsure if he’d created a parallel timeline or if he was living in his own, he did his best to avoid changing things.

Because even when he wanted to change things, he realized very quickly, he couldn’t.

He became enamored with sci-fi and fantasy that included time travel, with physicists who wrote books on the subject. He wanted to understand it, to know the unknowable.

He eventually decided that he was prescribing to the Doctor Who Theory of time travel: that it was all very, very complicated but that some things, no matter what, had to just happen in their own time and some things were simply fixed and would always happen the way they were supposed to. He’d seen this first with Zola- as he’d tried to get the man and his influence away from SHIELD they only dug their heels in deeper and kept him. It was later reaffirmed when, despite every effort, The Winter Soldier escaped him and Howard and Maria were left for dead in their car, young Tony devistated.

After that day, he stopped trying so hard to avoid squishing butterflies and focused instead on enjoying what he had.

What he had was, after all, quite a lot: A wife, two young boys, and a second chance at the life he’d missed while fighting other men’s wars.

~*~

Despite knowing all that laid ahead for him and his friends in the future that was now his past and yet somehow once again his future, Steve eventually started longing for the new millennium as decades past him by. He missed the technology, the ability to have whatever kind of entertainment he waited at the tips of his fingers. Though he’d known a good portion of what would happen from history books, once he’d gone back, he’d lived an entire lifetime full of surprises, experiencing things like the moon landing and the Vietnam war first hand. But now, as he grew older and he knew his days with Peggy were numbered, he longed for the small comforts of familiarity, for e-mails and smartphones and heated steering wheels on cars that parked themselves.

As the 2000’s arrived, he felt himself get more and more comfortable with the things around him: the news, the events he’d already experienced once and would again in a different way. It felt good to feel at least on solid ground with the world around him, knowing what was to come for him.

His home was lonely after Peggy was gone, and he made his only granddaughter an offer she couldn’t refuse: free room and board if she helped him keep up the house. An elementary school art teacher, Maggie was happy to step in for a little financial relief as she tried to navigate the churlish economy.

If he never told her that he was perfectly capable of taking care of the house by himself, it didn’t quite matter. The company was more than enough. And if when she smiled she looked just a little like her namesake and it warmed his heart… well, that wasn’t a bad thing, either.

The best part, he’d found though, was that it was hilariously funny to drive his granddaughter crazy. He’d lived through the early decades of the 21st century as a young man. He’d learned how to navigate the internet, interface with the most complicated technology there was to offer, and listened to music that wouldn’t be written for years to come. He loved watching her face as he sang along to Billie Eilish on the radio or realize that she didn’t have to explain to him how to use an iPad or Facetime.

~*~

She yelled at him the first snowfall. Skidded her car (all-wheel drive, thank goodness he’d convinced her to get the newest model) into the freshly shoveled driveway and tore out of the driver’s seat, yelling at him a mile a minute.

They’ll think I’m some kind of self-centered princess letting a centenarian shovel this and try to kill himself! She’d yelled, trying to take the shovel from his hands.

He was still stronger than he should be, and held his ground. I don’t want you hurting yourself on this stuff.

Me? She’s screeched, and he’d laughed. He couldn’t help but smile and find her concern at least a little comical. Deep down he understood, knew that he should be trying to sell his age a little more, be trying to hide that he was still strong and fast and in better shape than some of his middle-aged neighbors.

As much as he’d like to push her off, tell her to go inside, he couldn’t. She wasn’t a self-centered princess, but she was his princess, and he bent to her whim like a branch in the wind. He’d kissed her on the head and finally handed her the shovel, leaving her the last bit of the path to her to clean up, and promised to take better care of himself.

She didn’t know that when she left for work, he still went down the basement and bench pressed 225 on an easy day.

~*~

She teased him about his record collection. Even though records had come back in style, she still thought it was silly to have a whole wall dedicated to them when she could access nearly all of musical history on her cell phone. He showed her his own digital playlists and popped in his airpods when he was reading sometimes, but he loved the sound the needle made when it hit the wax.

One night, when he couldn’t listen to her teasing anymore, no matter how good natured it was, he played dirty.

You know, there’s a new song coming out by one of those artists you like. WAP? Heard it’s a cover of a song your Nana and I used to dance to all the time.

Two weeks later, he heard the familiar opening bass to the song Barton had played incessantly in the gym while he was working out and had quoted for months, the song that he hadn’t been able to get away from even in the past with random phrases like macaroni in a pot popping into his head at the most inconvenient times.

Barely half a verse in she’d either shut it off or turned the music way lower. At dinner she couldn’t look at him.

That was not at cover, Pop Pop. And I don’t want to think about you and Nana like that… ever.

~*~

She cried when she came home, a year after Peggy’s death, to see Peggy’s beautiful vanity had been moved into her room, Peggy’s jewelry box on it front and center.

What did you do? She’d kept asking him, tears in her eyes.

She’d want you to have it. He knew it was the truth. He hugged her tight as she sniffed and knew he’d made the right decision. He remembered Peggy sitting with Maggie on her knee on the small stool, letting the girl paw through her necklaces and play with her big fluffy make-up brushes. Maggie reaching for her eyeshadow and Peggy deftly pulling it away. Peggy being just a little too slow with the lipstick and the toddler bouncing around the house, proudly showing off the circle on the bottom half of her face to anyone who would look at her.

They’d loved their boys, but Maggie had both of their hearts in a way they hadn’t been prepared for.

Steve had to make up and excuse to leave the house the next morning when Maggie came down to breakfast, wearing the single pearl drop necklace he’d gotten for Peggy on their 25th wedding anniversary and her signature red lipstick. It was a good pain, but the first time he saw her in her grandmother’s necklaces, it was pain none the less.

~*~ Spring 2018

He knew the date it was supposed to happen. He’d kept up enough to know that it would, too. His other self was out there, somewhere, fighting what would become the biggest battle of his life.

Steve decided to focus on the small things. He kept the house stocked up with food and drinks, nonperishables that would last months and even years, toilet paper and paper towels. He ordered big metal shelves for the basement and made sure there was enough for multiple people for the long haul.

He didn’t know what would happen to his family in the snap- who would make it and who wouldn’t, but he was going to be sure whoever survived would be set for the following months where there was chaos, food and water shortages, and fear.

It would be a long five years for anyone that was left.

Even though she was home most nights, he asked Maggie for a standing Thursday night date. Some nights he showed her how to keep the house up: where the water main was, how to shut it on and off, where the gas line was, what to do if the roof started leaking. He made notebooks full of lists of things to do, how-to’s for the house and for life, and even, when he was awake in the middle of the night, wrote her letters so she wouldn’t be lonely.

Somehow, he just knew it would be him this time. He had survived the first snap, but if there were two of him and one survived, the other, statistically, did not. Thanos was very clear on how half worked.

Maggie, at first, had been scared. His family knew he had a knack for predicting the future, but didn’t know quite why.

Are you dying? Maggie had asked, fearing the worst when she started to realize that their Thursday night take-out and movie date was about more than just spending time together.

No, he’d said so very often, I just want you to be ready for anything.

Despite all of her questions, she went along with it.

When the day came, he couldn’t quite keep the sadness out of his eyes. Couldn’t quite smile at her. They ate pizza in front of the TV, watching a comedy Maggie had picked. He kept his eyes on his watch. It was coming.

His fingers itched. Like he could already feel his cells pulling apart.

He reached out, taking her hand in his and covering it with is other hand. “Maggie, you know I love you, right?”

She smiled at him, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. She’d sensed his anxiety all day. “Of course, I do. And I love you, Pop Pop.”

He looked away and then back at her. “I promise you, whatever happens, I’m alright, and I’ll be back.”

“Pop Pop,” her eyes filled with tears, “What are you talking about?”

He shook his head, “I’ve left you everything you’ll need, and I promise I’ll be back.”

A tear fell from her eye as she squeezed his hand tighter. “But where…”

It was as if the world went silent as it started to happen. Though the television droned on in the background, he could swear the air was stiller. He started to see the dust fill the air and tried not to breathe.

But it was wrong.

It wasn’t him.

Her hand was falling to nothing in his, the fear in her eyes haunting as the skin of her cheeks flecked into the air, swirling before falling along with the rest of her into a pile on the couch.

It was so fast. So fast.

And it wasn’t him.

“No…” The word fell from his lips as a whisper, sobs starting to form in his throat.

~*~

He wondered, nearly every night for five years, if Thanos knew. If it had somehow been a conscious choice to keep him alive, to make him suffer just a little more. To make him watch his other self on television trying to promote healing.

Sometimes, he realized that this was a blessing. His sons and granddaughter were safe while they were snapped, protected by the fabric of the universe. Bucky had told him that he didn’t remember anything from being snapped, didn’t feel any different when he woke up than if he’d taken a long, heavy nap.

Somewhere, his family was taking the universe’s longest nap without him.

But they’d be spared these memories. They’d be spared lonely nights of missing loved ones and too little to eat while the world sorted out the jobs that were suddenly empty to keep things running for those that were left behind.

They’d be spared the fear of the gangs that started roaming the streets of half abandoned cities, looting for food and clothes in stores that had never officially closed but also couldn’t open with their owners simply gone.

They’d be spared the rolling blackouts and the contaminated water scares.

They’d be spared the fear of the country as the government suddenly found itself missing elected officials and the infighting and the rhetoric that came with martial law and hasty elections.

They’d be spared so, so much pain and loss.

Every day, he relived it all, twice over.

He counted every day for five years, making his way through each week and month motivated by only one thought: they were coming back. He needed to be ready for them, for her.

He helped his daughter in law keep their house, managed his other son’s apartment in DC and kept his things ready and waiting, made sure Maggie’s things were safe and in working order, made sure her bank account stayed open and her phone bill was paid. He’d never, not once, considered he’d be the one left behind, and the logistics of all there was to do left him busy for the first few weeks.

Everyone told him his hope that the dusted would return was infectious, but after the first year, people stopped listening. He knew, for a fact, they’d come back, but everyone else didn’t. Even the past him was operating on the idea that they’d never be back.

Some days he didn’t make it out of bed. He laid there, talking to the ceiling, whispering to Peggy, wishing she could talk back, wishing she could be one of the ones brought back. He missed her with a ferocity that hadn’t changed since the first time he’d been in this time, but had only been tempered and strengthened by a lifetime together.

As the days drew closer to the five-year mark, he began to make arrangements.

~*~ October 2023

He cleaned the living room and set it to the way it had been that night. He pulled out every note and letter he’d written Maggie and his children and put them in the kitchen, ready and waiting.

He sat on the couch, facing the blank television, a new, piping hot, pepperoni pizza sitting in front of him, untouched.

He still couldn’t eat.

He still didn’t know if this was the right timeline. As he’d gotten closer to this day his faith had wavered. What if all he’d come to believe wasn’t true? What if this wasn’t the one fourteen million? He wanted to believe, but he didn’t know for sure.

He looked at his watch, watching as the seconds ticked by. What were a few seconds to him? He’d lived more than one lifetime, and that had been enough. He had barely made it through these five years the first time. The second time had almost truly broken him. He was ready for this to be over. He was ready to stop having to deal with loss and to be able to live whatever time he had left with the family he loved.

He held out his hand, and waited.

#3P's Fic #so sad #I am so sorry #yes #that's the end

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aewriting · 4 years

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So, I was innocently doing some Duolingo this morning when I started getting flooded with past-tense declarations of love. Which made me think of Malex, naturally. And this quick, cracky, fluffy little fic was born.

Words: 2187

Relationships: Brief Forlex, Endgame Malex

Warning for brief mention of homophobia, Duolingo frustration

***

“What the actual hell?”

“Alex?”

Alex looks up from his phone. Forrest is standing at his kitchen counter, frowning slightly at him. “Everything okay?”

Alex rubs tiredly at his face, puts his phone to the side. “Yeah, fine. It’s just… have you ever used Duolingo?”

Forrest snorts a little. “I mean, yeah, a little bit. Why?”

Alex shakes his head slightly, looks away. “It’s, it’s nothing. Stupid.” He pauses. “I’ve been brushing up on my Spanish. It used to be a lot better, but with being away all these years, not using it…” He shrugs. “Figured I’d download Duolingo, start working through it, you know?”

Forrest’s brow is furrowed. “Don’t you have a bunch of friends that speak Spanish, though? Liz, her cousin?” He smiles a little, then. “Kyle? The doctor?” He raises an eyebrow. “Wouldn’t mind watching you and Dr. Kyle speaking Spanish to each other, you know?”

Alex fixes him with a look. “Yeah, they all speak it, it’s just… I dunno, I want to have at least the basics down before I go to them for help. I feel like once I have a good base again, I’ll ask one of them to do some practice with me.” He shakes his head. “I don’t even know what I want to get out of this, just figured it’s better than, like, mindless scrolling, you know?”

Forrest cocks his head to the side. “Sure.” He’s opening the fridge. “Want anything in your coffee?”

Alex’s mouth twitches a little. This is… far from his first morning after, with Forrest. He’s taken his coffee black. Every time. And yet, every time, Forrest offers him sugar, cream. He can’t decide if he’s just trying to be a good host or if he really doesn’t remember. “I’m good, thanks,” he says politely.

“Okay,” Forrest says with a smile and a wink. He’s in a t-shirt and boxers, barefoot, as he brings the two steaming mugs over to the couch where Alex is sitting. Places Alex’s on the coffee table and sits down next to Alex. Close enough to touch.

“So what did Duo do to piss you off?” he asks, smirking.

Alex laughs a little, rolls his eyes.

“Come on, that’s not the face of a man who’s happy with an owl.”

Alex grabs for his mug, takes a sip. It’s good. They’re good, right? Like, Forrest is nice. And trying. “It’s just, I’m learning tenses now. And I can’t figure out why in the world they choose the verbs they do. Like at a beginning level, you know?”

Forrest is looking amused. “Can you give an example?”

Alex sighs. “Like… love. I swear I have had about five questions all in a row about love. Amor. Did… did you love me? Me amaste? Then, Sí, te amé. Um, mucho.” Alex swallows, suddenly a little uncomfortable. “Like, it’s just, just kind of bullshitty, you know? Like, who needs to say that right away, in Spanish?” He glances around him, holds up his mug. “Like, be useful! Teach me how to say ‘I finished my coffee,’ you know?”

Forrest is looking at him a little oddly, then looks away. Blows on his coffee to cool it. “I have to imagine that a decent percentage of people use an app like that to… I dunno, impress someone? Someone they like?”

Alex looks at him quizzically. “You think?” He shakes his head. “I dunno, I would think it would be more for work. Travel. Even just, like, keeping your brain sharp, you know?”

Forrest eyes him. “I learned German for a guy.”

Alex scoffs. “Of course you did.”

“I mean, it was for a guy and my research,” Forrest says playfully, nudging at Alex with his shoulder.

“Multitasking,” Alex says wryly.

“You know it,” Forrest says with a small smile, which disappears quickly. “You… you ever actually said it to someone?”

Alex looks at him, confused.

“In, in English, I mean,” Forrest clarifies, but Alex is still looking at him blankly. “Ever said I love you?” Forrest swallows, a little nervous. “I mean, this is not a pressure thing – these are early days, I know that. But… but I know you were pretty closed off, when we met. Just made me wonder if you ever had something serious? With someone?”

Alex’s jaw is tight as he responds. “I’ve never said I love you.”

***

“Oh, fuck you, Duo,” Alex mutters, clicking off the phone and putting it face down on the table.

“Who’s Duo?” Rosa asks, suddenly right in front of Alex’s booth. “And what did he do to you?”

Alex laughs at that. “It’s an app. Teaches you different languages. Makes it like a little game.”

Rosa quirks an eyebrow. “And what language are you learning, Alejandro?”

Alex chuckles. “Spanish.”

“Ahhh,” Rosa says, sliding next to him in the booth. “Por qué? Un hombre?” she asks suggestively.

“No!” Alex exclaims. “Why does everyone think that? No, I just wanted to try to get back some of the Spanish I lost over the years. I mean, I’m living in New Mexico now, and I’m embarrassed by how much I’ve forgotten.” Rosa’s just looking at him, eating one of his French fries. “Seriously, why does everyone think I’m doing this for a guy?”

“Um, because you and Forrest broke up, and now you’re back on the market?”

Alex’s mouth drops open. “How did you know that?”

“Small town,” Rosa says, popping another fry in her mouth. “I hear things.”

Alex shakes his head a little. “Well,” he says, eager to change the topic. “I think even Duo thinks I’m doing this for… certain reasons.”

Rosa’s face twists a little. “Okay, who the hell is Duo?”

Alex picks up the phone, unlocks it. Frowns as he looks at the screen.

“’The man has curly hair,’” Rosa reads, grabbing the phone from Alex. “Okay…” she says, giving Alex a sidelong glance.

Alex snatches the phone back from her. “Here,” he says shortly. “You just need to do a few, get them right, then…” He quickly presses some buttons, holds up the phone. “Here. This is Duo. He’s this little green owl, and he’s supposed to, like, encourage you, but sometimes if you go a few days without practicing he just ends up, like, harassing you.”

“Great work! Let’s make this a bit harder!’” Rosa reads with fake enthusiasm as she looks at the screen. “Harder, eh? That how you like it, Alejandro?”

“Rosa,” Alex warns, half-heartedly.

She grabs the phone again. “I wanna do one.”

“You speak Spanish already.”

“Oooh, matching!” she exclaims. “Montar… well that’s easy. To ride.” She sets the phone to the side, fixes Alex with a suggestive look. “Alejandro, seriously, what have you told Duo here?”

“Shut up.”

***

“What the hell?” Alex mutters, rereading the sentence. The screen is a little hard to see in the bright sun.

“Something wrong?” Michael asks, closer than Alex realized. “Besides your brake pads, that is.”

Alex sighs, pockets the phone. “Yeah, about those.”

“It’ll be about an hour still. Want to wait for it?”

Alex glances around the junkyard. No one’s here, the weather’s pleasant. “I’ll wait.”

“Okay,” Michael says, turning and making his way toward Alex’s car. A part of Alex hopes he’ll turn back around and… what? Visit? Shoot the shit? With a sigh, Alex takes the phone out again. “I’ve never had a cat that speaks,” he mutters. “Yo… nunca…he… tenido…”

“You should’ve brought this in earlier.”

Alex clicks off the phone again, rolls his eyes a bit. “Yes. Thank you, Michael.”

Michael raises his hands in faux surrender. “Hey, I’m just saying.” He sighs a little. “Glad you brought it in.” He looks like he’s about to turn around again, but instead he squints at Alex. At the phone. “Who you texting?”

Alex narrows his eyes, looks at Michael. Michael, who seems awkward, suddenly. Alex watches as he runs his hand through his curls, shrugs a little. “Nevermind, none of my – “

“It’s Duolingo,” Alex says.

Michael sticks out his lip a little, and Alex has to look away quickly. “That the app that teaches you different languages?”

“Yeah,” Alex says. “I’ve been trying to improve my Spanish.”

“Ahh,” Michael says, like he knows something Alex doesn’t. “Certainly can’t hurt. ‘Round these parts.”

“What?”

Michael shrugs. “You know. Lots of people here speak it. And you’re here for a while, right? Till you get out?” he says, slight edge of bitterness to his voice, the way there always is whenever Alex’s military service gets mentioned.

“This whole thing just started out of embarrassment, actually,” Alex says, and Michael looks at him, confused. “I knew way more Spanish back in school than I know now. Like, I remember the good stuff – curse words, things like that,” he says with a smile. “But it’s like my brain completely blocked out all the grammar rules.” He shrugs. “But sometimes they put together the most bizarre questions. Like this one,” he says, clicking on the phone and bringing up the half-finished item. “I’ve never had a cat that speaks.”

Michael barks out a laugh. “Who the fuck has?” he asks. Then grins. “Yo nunca he tenido un gato que habla.”

“What?” Alex laughs. “I didn’t know you knew Spanish!”

Michael shrugs. “I’m not, like, fluent, in it.”

“You were able to just translate some nonsense sentence off the top of your head,” Alex says skeptically.

“Okay,” Michael says. “I have a good memory, you know that. Picked up a lot when I was working at Foster Ranch, right out of high school. I definitely know how to tell you to fix a fence, ride a horse, that kind of thing.”

“Montar,” Alex murmurs, remembering his chat with Rosa.

Michael looks at him a little strangely. “Yeah.” He looks for a moment like he might say more, but doesn’t. Exhales loudly and gestures to the car. “Well, I better get back to it,” he says.

“Yeah, of course, don’t want to delay you or anything.”

“Yeah,” Michael says. Grins. “Just give a shout if you get stumped.”

***

(One month later. The Wild Pony.)

“Dúo surfea muy bien.”

“Duo surfs very well,” Michael translates. “Because of fucking course he does.”

“You seriously know a lot of Spanish. You’re not even looking at the screen.” Alex hits continue. Freezes. “I’ll just do this one,” he says hastily, pushing buttons.

“Too tough?”

Alex looks at the screen. Te quiero. “Yeah,” he says with a thin smile. “Too tough.”

***

(Two months later. Crashdown.)

“Podemos usar Internet en cualquier lugar.”

Michael’s eyes narrow. “We can use the Internet anywhere,” he translates. “Easy. Hit me again.”

“Okay,” Alex says, bringing up the next screen and reading the Spanish quickly. “Siempre te he amado.”

He looks at Michael questioningly… Michael, who looks stricken.

“Michael?” Alex asks, frowning.

Michael chuckles a little. “Um, I‘ve always loved you. That’s what it says, siempre te he amado.”

Alex looks down at the little word options at the bottom of the screen. Fuck. That’s definitely the answer, but he doesn’t punch it in. Not yet. Keeps looking at Michael. They… they’ve been dancing around each other, around this, for months. Years, really, if he’s being honest.

“Siempre te he amado,” he repeats quietly. Swallows. “It’s the truth,” he says finally.

“Es la verdad,” Michael mumbles, still looking away. “Next?”

Alex puts the phone down. “No, Michael. No. I mean… I mean, yes, I guess it is la verdad, like that’s the Spanish for it, but… but I was trying to, to say…”

Michael has gone very still now, is just looking at Alex. “What, Alex?” he breathes. “What were you trying to say?”

“I’ve always loved you, Michael. That… that’s the truth.”

“You, you being serious right now, Alex?”

Alex nods his head quickly. “Yes, Michael. This isn’t… isn’t Duolingo Spanish, right now. This is me. And you. God,” he says, feeling the flush creep across his face. “We have enough trouble just being straight with each other in English.”

A slow grin starts spreading across Michael’s face. “If you really think about it, we’ve never been straight with each other.”

And Alex can’t help his own smile, either. “Definitely not.”

“Not at all,” Michael says, sobering a bit.

“We’ve worked so hard,” Alex says softly. “At, at building something between us. Something new. Like, a real friendship.”

“That’s what you said you wanted,” Michael says, a little edge to his voice.

“That and more, Michael,” Alex says. “I want more. If, if you do, too.”

“I do,” Michael says, biting his lip. He looks down at their shared booth, looks back up. “I’ve always loved you, too, Alex. Still do.”

The phone emits a little ding, and Alex looks down.

It’s Duo. Waving.

“Perfect timing,” Michael says wryly. “What does that little fucker want?”

“Wants to tell us ‘Great work!’,” Alex reads. “’Let’s make this a bit harder!’” He laughs a little, at that, looks at Michael, and shrugs. “Ready if you are?” he says, a question in his voice.

Michael smiles at him, big and genuine. “Well if Duo says so, let’s give it a go.”

#my fic #duolingo made me do it #malex #forlex #rosa ortecho #roswell nm

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theabominableblogger · 3 years

Text

My Reaction to “Avengers Endgame”

Yes- I still haven’t seen this movie. Yes I know exactly what happens in this movie. I mainly avoided it for a while due to overhype but with some convincing from my brother, Imma sit my butt down and try to watch this.

Pressing... play!

Right off the bat, I feel like I should warn you guys and say that I have... my opinions... about stuff. Plus I’m a dumbass about Marvel so just bear with me.

I like that Disney Plus has to warn us about product placement

Clint!

Are we gonna see little Nathaniel running around- THERE he is!

We are gonna see Clint’s entire family get freaking obliterated

Is all the rumbling from the sky or are those airplanes freaking crashing to Earth in the distance?

What if they pulled a reverse WandaVision and showed the people getting snapped out of existence in a future film or show? That would be freaking terrifying.

They’re [Tony and Nebula] playing paper football...

I wanna see more of THEIR interactions aboard the Milano. The shots of them just repairing the ship are great too.

“I’m fine. Totally fine.” Everyone ever.

I also like you see the visual difference between Tony and Nebula. While he’s growing gaunt and haggard from loss of oxygen, you can still see that Nebula looks absolutely fine because she’s like 75% android

So between 1995 and now, what the heck has Carol been up to?

“Thanos wiped out... 50% of all living creatures.” So like entire ecosystems are just demolished.

*anthropology major part of my brain scrambling for answers*

“We lost. And you [Steve] weren’t there.” HE WAS IN WAKANDA!

Wait so the arc reactor ISN’T in Tony’s chest anymore?

“Where the hell have you [Carol] been all this time?” Good question!

*silently bops to opening theme*

For some reason, I just really want the ship radio to randomly turn on so you just see everyone sitting awkwardly as “Piano Man” plays over the speakers

*Thanos slowly cooks his food* Faster, all together now! COOKING CAN BE FUN!

“I [Thanos] used the stones to destroy the stones.” ...what?

“I am...[Thanos] inevitable.” *starts humming “Inevitable” from TGWDLM*

“I [Thor] went for the head.” YES YOU DID

[FIVE YEARS LATER] All righty so we’re doing this

*gasps* Is... Steve running the therapy sit downs like Sam did in “The Winter Soldier”? That’s awesome. I really like this tidbit.

I’m also really liking Alan Silvestri’s score for this so far

I’m really trying not to nitpick but I feel like it would take more than 5 years for greenery to just completely overtake a suburban neighborhood

Also wow pre COVID life looks great you guys

“There’s a part of me that doesn’t even wanna find him.” Are they talking about... Clint? Is Clint just going the full vigilante route?

DOES HE KILL PEOPLE?!?

I really like Steve and Natasha’s friendship in these movies but for some reason I don’t feel like we get enough of Natasha for me to get behind her on an emotional standpoint

Are they gonna use the quantum realm to jumpstart the multiverse for Phase 4?

Also speaking of multiverse, I honestly really don’t want Spiderman: No Way Home or Wandavision to get too cluttered by that

I like Tony’s lake house. And he got a whole vegetable garden going too. Kudos!

The little kid who plays Morgan Stark is adorable

“Not if we strictly follow the rules of time travel.” Which we obviously won’t.

“We’re gonna need a really big brain.” So where the [expletive] is Banner?

“Stranger danger.” *snorts*

“Dab!” *rolls eyes*

So is the whole Professor Hulk thing permanent? I know he’s gonna be in the She-Hulk show but I’m wondering how they’re gonna tackle that. And they’re gonna have Tim Roth too!

*smiles when Tony takes Morgan to bed*

Steve Rogers here [when they do the first time travel tests] is a Look ™

Maybe don’t let the GIANT GREEN MAN keep pressing a bunch of tiny tiny important buttons on a dashboard

*laughs at Steve shaking his head in disbelief when they finally bring Scott back*

*Tony’s car races toward the Avengers base* NYOOOMMMM

*Tony rolls down his window* It’s Britney, bitch

“And maybe not die trying.” And you definitely will.

This whole bit where Scott keeps losing his dorito only to get another one from Bruce feels like a Doritos commercial.

*jams out to "Supersonic Rocket Ship by The Kinks*

Did they just keep reducing the green pigment for Hulk or what?

*sighs when they reveal Fat!Thor*

MIEK’S ALIVE!

Please tell me Noobmaster69 is Kid Loki, whom we meet in the Loki series

“Don’t... say that name.” “Yeah we actually don’t say that name here.” I like this. I like that Thor has so much resentment for killing Thanos at the wrong time and that he felt that could have done better cause he’s A GOD. So the fact that THANOS was on equal level and BEAT HIM-

Hawkeye’s killing people

This sword fight’s great [between the Yakuza person and Clint]

WHY DIDN’T THEY BUILD ON THIS [Clint and Natasha’s connection] ???

*laughs when Rhodey suggests killing baby Thanos*

These shots of Clint going through the Quantum Realm looks like something straight out of Andy Park’s concept art and that’s awesome

“Well I [Scott] haven’t [encountered an Infinity Stone] but I don’t even know what the hell you’re all talking about.” *snorts*

“The Aether, firstly, is not a stone.” Thank you!

The little glance Nebula gives after Thor mentions the Dark Elves just make me think that somewhere down the road, she has either A) encountered them or B) has encountered other Asgardians besides Thor

“Guys if you pick the right year, there are three stones in New York.” “Shut the front door.” *laughs*

Also underrated trio: Steve, Natasha, and Bruce. Gimme more.

Wait a minute, in 2012, Doctor Strange wasn’t active yet. So are they gonna go see- OOOOOOOHHHHHH

[NEW YORK 2012] Oh here we go

*cracks up when Bruce very half-assedly smashes stuff on the street*

“I’m looking for Doctor Strange.” “You’re about five years too early.” Wait a minute.

HOW DOES SHE [the Ancient One] KNOW?!?

*giggles at Thor and Rocket sneaking in the background with a bored Loki in focus*

“That’s my [Thor’s] mother. She dies today.” I love this scene already.

Also WHY IS THOR- or the Thor films in general- have like the most well written characters in the whole canon?

It’s those movies, Guardians 2, The Winter Soldier, Civil War, aaand.... I can’t think of any more of them.

Oh yeah and WANDAVISION cause THAT HIT ME LIKE A TRUCK-

Rocket just said he thinks of the Guardians as his family I’m gonna die...

What about their [Natasha and Rhodey’s] friendship?!? I want more of that!

“Ronan’s obsession... clouds his judgment.” ...HUH

*Thanos uses his sword to lift up Nebula’s chin* Aw heck no

“As far as I’m concerned, that’s America’s ass.” *has to take a second before nodding in agreement*

Wait is that Jasper Stillwell?

“Flick me.” That bit alone could be taken out of context

“We’re in route to Doctor List.” Who’s Doctor List? Is that a code name?

“Hail Hydra.” THE BASTARDS WENT AND DID IT

Please tell me this hand off scene is gonna be the opening for the Loki show. Please tell me this is gonna happen.

*Loki takes the Tesseract again* AND HE’S GOOONNNEE!!

LET’S GET TO FREAKING JUNE ALREADY!

*ends up quoting “Yeah, I know, I know” along with Steve*

I’m really glad Tilda Swinton actually came back for this cameo

*keeps slapping my laptop screen when people keep saying Doctor Strange made a mistake when it was an explicit point in Infinity War where he encountered 14 million other AUs to find the best result*

Are you telling me that this whole plan could derail because Nebula accidentally hacked into her own WiFI network? Are you seriously doing this?

*Thanos and Ebony Maw scan Nebula’s duplicate memory bank and track her down* Are you freaking kidding me?

...I have 96 minutes left?!?

“The future hasn’t been kind to you [Thor], has it?” Frigga is underrated

So for these shots with Jane, are they just reusing different shots from Thor 2 or just footage from deleted scenes?

Can we talk about how Frigga is absolutely the best parent Thor has? Meanwhile her husband ODIN is like “oh yeah by the way you have a secret sister totes magotes i’ll die now byeeee”

*sings along with “Come and Get Your Love” by Redbone*

*laughs when we cut to Quill just very badly singing along to his iPod in the distance*

I want a bonus short with just Rhodey and Nebula doing their thing

*Nebula gets her memory taken over by 2014 Thanos* Nooooooo...

Are the glasses that Tony wears here part of EDITH from “Far From Home” or are they like a prototype?

Also I haven’t seen “Far From Home” yet because Sony hates me

Doctor Zola?!?

*jams out to the music playing when we see Hank Pym’s lab*

“A little girl would be nice. Less of a chance that she’ll end up exactly like me [Howard Stark].” *gasps softly*

Oh my God, he’s [Steve] in Peggy’s office

Alan Silvestri is really killing it with this score

JARVIS!!

Wait and that’s the guy from “Agent Carter”!

Ohhh that shot’s [of Thanos’s ship coming out of the clouds] awesome...

*2014 Nebula hands Thanos the Pym particles* Oh are you kidding me...

The CGI for Red Skull is also awesome

*gasps when Natasha reveals that she never knew her dad’s name when Red Skull told it to her*

*is super bummed out when Natasha sacrifices herself*

Kevin Feige really went and said “so Phases 3 and 4 are gonna make everybody cry” and the writers went “YES”

Wait doesn’t Cap go and return the stones at the end of the movie? How’s he gonna handle meeting Red Skull on Vormir then?

“It’s like... I [Bruce] was made for this.” Please someone get Mark Ruffalo his own Hulk movie before he combusts from giving out more spoilers

So Thanos used the Pym particles to time travel then. Honestly that’s kinda genius

I just noticed that Scott shrank himself right as the explosion hit the windows

I really want someone to just drop one F-bomb somewhere in the MCU and I really hope it’s Clint because he would 100% say it

*starts singing “Hollaback Girl” when Thanos arrives*

Here’s my question; how did Thanos acquire Nebula then? With Gamora, it was with the genocide of her people.

“We [Gamora to Nebula] can stop him.” LET’S GO!

[Thor uses his storm powers to summon both Stormbreaker and Mjolnir] *softly* Ohhhhh that’s badass...

Now I’m just imagining the cast just in the green screen room just hitting Josh Brolin with a bunch of foam weapons and making all the sound effects while poor Josh is just struggling under the weight of the Thanos reference head on his mocap suit

Who does the voice for FRIDAY?

AN: Irish actress named Kerry Condon

*Steve deems himself worth to wield Mjolnir* OKKAAYY OKAAYY

Love how Thanos is like “yes, I’m gonna stab you with an AXE”

“In all my years of conquest...” Steve you suuuucckkk...

Are we getting the Chitauri again?

“On your left.” *laughs incredulously* O-ohhh my God...

*Everyone starts coming out of the portals* Oh my God I’m getting chills

I would have lost my mind in the theater

I HAVE ACTUAL GOOSEBUMPS RUNNING ALL OVER ME. This is how good this is

WAIT ARE THOSE THE RAVAGER SHIPS ABOVE THEM?!?

“Avengers... assemble.” Oh my God this is amazing!

M’BAKU!

Also “Endgame” really just said “We are KILLING FOOLS TODAY”

How are they gonna tackle Peter and Gamora’s relationship in Guardians 3?

[Horn plays La Cucaracha] LET’S GO

God I’m gonna turn feral

*has to pause to scream in excitement when Wanda touches down in front of Thanos to fight him*

*puts hands on head* OHH MY GOOOOODDDDD

They’re literally just playing Keep Away with a teenage boy. Marvel, everybody.

*Captain Marvel destroys Thanos’s ship* WELL IT TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH

OK I got mixed feelings about that [the girl power team up scene]

*Thanos unsuccessfully headbutts Carol* Oh shit!

*Doctor Strange holds up one finger* Oh my God this is it

Someone definitely tore off when Thanos pushed Tony off

It was in that moment he [Thanos] knew- he effed up

*All of Thanos’s army dissipates* Byeee...

Is it bad that I’m not crying at Tony’s death?

*gasps when Peter reunites with Ned at school*

Wait the whole time heist takes place within ONE DAY?

“I love you 3000.” I really hope we see Morgan again somewhere in one of the movies or shows. Actually a cool way to reincorporate her would be in the Ironheart series whenever they make it

Even Drax is wearing black!

It’s the “We should be getting therapy but we got a TV show instead” trio [Wanda, Bucky, and Sam]

Wait is that guy- was that guy- the little kid from Iron Man 3?

AN: Yes

So right after this funeral, Wanda’s gonna storm SWORD right?

AN: This was finished up on 2/26 so probably YES

*Thor crowns Valkyrie the new leader of New Asgard* I now cannot wait for “Thor Love and Thunder”

Wait Peter’s looking for Gamora!

Still cannot believe that the time travel suits are completely CGI

I know they had a body double for Chris Evans here but I do think it would have been cool if they used the body double’s voice for Old Steve instead of Chris trying to sound old

He [Steve] put the shield in an art portfolio bag...

*says “No, no I don’t think I will” along with Steve*

*silently jams out to “It’s Been a Long, Long Time” playing during the credits*

Wait and that was the song Fury was playing in “Winter Soldier”

Oh they even got the actual signatures! That’s awesome!

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ryttu3k · 3 years

Text

Finishing up SoNY, ‘bad’ end and final thoughts!

But first, the early game over.

Wow, she just gets shot. Not even slurped? That’s rude as hell XD;;

And on to the ‘bad’ end!

Beginning is much the same, ofc.

“You’re too in love with weaving a good story and establishing a seductive narrative to let facts get in the way.” Foreshadowing for the ‘good’ end, maybe?

God that Embrace scene gives me literal goosebumps.

Alright! Last time I did Danse Macabre and Retributive Justice, let’s try The Risks of Swiping Right!

lmao god I’d eat this guy too. Back to the ghost club! That legitimately is a really neat scene. ...Ooh yes so that’s where the girl was from.

Panhard just lowkey dying at the mental image of Katherine Weise in a fast food restaurant is so good.

The sweet scene between Julia and Dakota hits a bit different after the ‘good’ end XD;;

Went to the park, reminisced, and helped out the guy. That was sweet ;_; High-humanity Julia, this time!

‘Fairy God Mother?’ is great but ‘Vin Diesel?’ is objectively the funnier response.

“Shining even more brightly than usual, Aisling.” Samira got a cru-ush~

Poor Julie. It’s probably been tough without Sophie around :(

Huh. Interestingly, refusing to lie to Mia results in Julia actually feeling genuine loyalty to the Cammies (for now, at least).

Believing Agathon is still alive = more optimistic = different dialogue! See, this is how you make choices have consequences, game!

Oooh boy time to meet Adelaide XD;;

“She uncrosses her legs in a strangely seductive motion. In her mind’s eye, it probably looked like Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct, but in reality, it had all the grace of a tracksuit Slav squatting.” *snickering*

Fight me, Adelaide >:(

‘sup Nastya. Went with the slightly less disruptive routine here XD Huh, she’s an aspiring DJ! Julia is deeply confused as to how being a DJ and being head of security works together.

lmao Julia referring to Hope as a girlboss. That phrase has lost all meaning to me...

The conversation between Julia and Father Leonard is still really interesting. Man, you know who I want Julia to talk to? Anatole. Interesting insights into balancing being queer Catholic vampires there for sure.

lmao oh my god I want to fight this street reporter.

‘I can almost feel my brain losing its wrinkles.’ *snort*

Yeaghhhh the Abyss bit is still so creepy...

Oops. Being honest regarding Tamika and Torque’s relationships gets a fail :(

Oh, or not XD That works! Also, uh, apparently the giant albino ghoul alligator is real, according to New York by Night. He’s Calebros’ pet.

“Because I think I have a pretty good nose for people’s auras. And when I take a good look at you... ...somehow, I have a feeling you’re a surprisingly decent person. Whatever way of unlife you choose, I hope you don’t change it. And that you remember my advice.” :)

“I know.” Oof.

“Hi.” “WAAAH!” lmao sorry Princess XD;; Just trying to imagine Qadir’s face as he tells Julia to find a 1990 glass statue of Scrooge McDuck... dying...

Oh she’s so a Toreador XD Low art options are a fantasy book, an anime DVD, or a video game... those can all be arty, though! And went with the anime DVD called ‘Ririsu no Daibouken’... that translates to ‘Adventures of Lilith’. How on the nose XD “The cover says ‘Lilith’s Carnal Carnival’.” Oh. Yeah, that’d do it XD

“This 90s original video anime presents us with a tale of five big-bosomed samurai warriors travelling through America in search of General Hastavista, The Incubus King. Don’t let all the titillation misguide you: the main draws here are peerless direction, a nearly avant-garde editing rhythm and dialogue that coyly comments on traditional gender roles in anime. Once you see the animation in the final battle, you’ll understand why it never fails to set a sakuga fan’s heart ablaze!”

She’s my new favourite.

“So can I know your name now?”

“Hmmm... Let me think...

No. <3″

I need to stress that the heart appears in the dialogue box. Like. The actual less-than-three heart.

Didn’t investigate the rat this time, so Qadir did and I die. “Glad you’re alright, little guy.” Qadir...

Still not over the drunk blood doll rats.

Kaiser’s still a goddamn creep and this time Julia is not going too far. She still has her humanity, dammit. Final set of traits:

Loyal to the end

Glass half-full

Not into a bad cop schtick

Honesty is the best policy

No more human, still humane

Onwards to the ‘bad’ end! Oops, and Dakota still did the Single White Female thing XD;;

Man I’m still really curious who the ‘good friend’ is!!

Okay! Time for end game!!

So that’s the good friend, huh? “Let me phrase it differently, then. You’re not Ecaterina the Wise, the Agitator of Prague, a Brujah elder causing turbulences all over the world... are you?”

Mention of Christof! Mention of Christof doing shady shit :| Poor Hana.

“An immigrant from Eastern Europe comes to New York City, takes the position she always expected to find herself in, is molded into someone who is no longer herself.”

Julia and Dakota representing Carthage is kind of neat.

I want to say the mention of St Jude is a reference, but I’m not sure what to XD;; Is that from Redemption? Christof could have been the one to tell Hana that.

“Like a two-person human centipede loop or something. An Ouroburos? Or an, uhh, Mobius strip?” No, that’s the other traditionally Sabbat clan XD

That‘s. That’s a hell of a reconciliation XD “Yeah, let’s give it a try. By the way I’m on the run for my unlife, want to go to California and try to find utopia?”

Julia, wear a fucking mask XD

“Hey.”

“Yeah?“

“Do you love me?”

“... Of course I do. For now, at least.”

I still don’t know if I love her. Or even if I can love anyone, for that matter. I’m a fucking monster, after all. I don’t even know if we’ll exist next month. The prospects are not looking good. But although I can’t see myself in the rearview mirror right now...

...I will remember this image of us leaving the city, somewhat melancholic, and somewhat hopeful, forever. And maybe the meaning of this image will be clarified with time. Or maybe I will just force a more positive description on it, and that is what I’ll believe.

No matter what happens... even if oceans of blood lie before us, I will make this a cherished memory.

Whatever possible salvation still remains for me... ...it probably lies in the eyes of another.

Oh dang I have chills.

So the ‘bad’ ending is about the subverted compromise. Julia resigns herself to letting the compromise about the truth of Callihan’s death go ahead. ‘Catherine’ is a walking compromise to hide the Ecaterina’s real deeds. But while Hana is still stuck in her role for now, Julia refuses to accept the compromise she’s made, both the one relating to the investigation and the compromise she made of her own views and morals. It might blow up in her face, yeah. But damn, she’s going to try.

So, final thoughts! For the sake of completion, this is what I said about Coteries:

And of course this is the part where the game all falls apart :-\

Just… god. This is probably the biggest problem with CoNY, and the reason I didn’t bother getting it until it was like… 60% off. The bulk of the game is great - the writing is intriguing, the design is stunning. But the choices themselves are so limited it’s barely worth even getting it at 60% off!

You have three choices of characters, with their own opening chapters and own individual scenes with their touchstones. You have four choices of coterie members, and three sidequests. You can probably get in at least three full story arcs and a sidequest or two, but you’re only ever limited to two of your coterie members showing up at the not-yet-endgame.

So let’s say you decide to play all three protags, which, indeed, is encouraged (there’s an achievement for it). You are going to repeat coterie arcs and side quests, because there simply aren’t enough for three unique playthroughs.

And then you get to the end and literally everything is scripted. You get attacked by the SI. You get rescued by your two coterie members (and then never see them again, despite the game being called Coteries of New York). You meet Torque, you escape the SI, Sophie reveals her plan to Torque, you go to Ellis Island, Adelaide kills Sophie (and despite the fact that you’re given multiple options there, none of them work), Arturo does his spiel, end of game. You don’t even get to choose between ending up blood bound or going “no fuck you” and at least dying with a bit of dignity!

I just. I really want to like it, and there genuinely is a lot there to like! But uuuugh the ending. Like damn at least give the poor protag the option to choose what happens to them!

Anyway. Not sure what’s next. To get all the achievements, you have to finish with all three protags, so that’s three full runs and a lot of repetitiveness (compare to, say, Bloodlines or Night Road. I have eighty-five hours on Night Road and there’s still stuff I haven’t seen!), so I can’t even just… rush it through up to the meeting with the touchstones on the third play. Nope. Gotta finish it :-\

Final rating: 6/10

8/10 characters, 9/10 atmosphere, 8/10 story aside from ending, 3/10 story ending, 2/10 replayability. Final consensus: get it on major sale if you can, otherwise, you might as well just watch an LP. I might do that instead of doing a third run, although I at least want to do a second.

I ended up revising that 6/10 to 5.5/10 after finishing all runs and getting the achievements just out of how goddamn repetitive it was. So, how does Shadows measure up?

Absolutely continued with all the things I enjoyed about CoNY (characters, atmosphere, and writing), and of the bits I hated (cookie cutter protagonists, lack of real choice, repetitiveness, the godawful ending), every single part has been completely improved.

Instead of three fledglings so similar they even have the same internal thoughts, we have Julia, who’s got such a distinct voice that she becomes the most memorable game protag I’ve seen in years, and I’m including non-VtM games in this. This is absolutely her game, and it’s just... absolutely fascinating to read and watch.

Related - actual real choices. There are five key choices that determine the ending, and every single one has actual consequence in-game. You get different dialogue. Different introspection. Different philosophies. And this carries across - if Julia believes Agathon is alive, she’s more optimistic about her relationship with Dakota, too. And of course, both endings are completely distinct and incredibly written - the ‘good’ ending where Julia gives in to her most Lasombra instincts, plays the game, wins it, gets power and respect at the expense of her humanity and avoiding all those wraiths... or the ‘bad’ ending when she listens to her morals, reconciles with Dakota, and leaves for California, uncertain, but hopeful.

Not a lot of repetitiveness. Yes, by design, you’ll probably do two playthroughs. The main plot is much the same, but there are enough options there to get multiple dialogue options and stuff. And for the little sidequests, you can actually get all in with just the two playthroughs, only repeating like... two, I think. Still, I wasn’t feeling actively bored like I was midway through my second run of CoNY!

Loved seeing more in-depth backstory and development for the coterie members. Agathon’s section was particularly fascinating, literally getting into his head.

And just. Atmosphere and music is so, so good.

Final rating: 9/10. Thank you, Draw Distance, you hit it out of the park.

#vampire the masquerade #vtm shadows of new york #ry plays sony

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tehmoonofficial · 4 years

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What do we (humans) know about time paradoxes? I never understood how much we're actually sure of them, real-science wise. Like, just how theoretical are they?

Ohohohoho-

Alright so first to understand the study of time, you have to understand it’s a bunch of people nerding out. Classical physics is very precise, but quantum physics and theoretical physics are sort of "fuck around and find out but the resources you need to test this will exist centuries after you’re dead". We really only have had modern theoretical physics for just about a century.

Stuff like paradox psychosis, and Back to the Future-style fading away from existence? Bullshit. Invented to make time travel have stakes, because when you get down to the nitty-gritty of it, following the strict set of rules we came up with for time would let you predict the plot of any time travel story right away.

Of course, no one has actually time traveled to the future or past yet. In the proper scientific style, anything could be true or false and we really could have no idea because we’re little flesh monsters on a blue marble.

So, lemme explain our rule set here:

- There are two main ways to look at the universe and how time travel affects it.

1. Self-Healing Time

The universe is, and always will be, continuing on itself. There is no changing the past at all. If you go back to the past, say, to try and save JFK, you will Always Fuck Up. The universe has to let JFK die because it has always been this way, and you in the 60s have always been a part of the past that has helped cause JFK’s assassination.

This is a good example of the butterfly effect, which just says that actions have consequences. It’s often applied to time because it’s easiest to spot it by looking at past events, but you can apply it to every day, too. For example, you waking up this morning led to you reading this post right now. Butterfly effect.

A good example of rule number one’s time explanation is Prisoner of Azkaban. JK R*wling is a disgusting human being but the way Time Turners are used to help the timeline along makes sense.

TUA does not fit this time theory. When I first watched the show, I knew logically that the show couldn’t follow this idea, because Five wants to prevent the apocalypse from happening, and also his presence alone is a difference in the world.

2. AUs

There are many, many universes, and actions all have multiple outcomes. Each outcome is represented in different universes. So, when you go back in time and make a new decision, the universe splits off into an alternate one. You don’t actually feel anything, but you are now part of a new timeline.

This is almost seen in TUA, or Avengers: Endgame, or Cursed Child. This is the EVIL butterfly effect that all the cool people DESPISE because instead of saying it uses alternate universes, they say the universe can be changed by your actions in the past. All my homies hate this writing that tosses quantum into a sentence and calls it a day. :(

But! Back to the Future almost does a good job of it. If you ignore the fading away from existence thing, the Doc says that actions cause a new universe, or a split timeline. Woooo! The way to fix the writing would be to say the split timelines have always existed, because you have always gone back into the past and changed something. Sure, you wouldn’t have existed in the new universe, but there’s really no reason for you to fade away. We used to believe that black holes were a gateway to another universe; now we know this isn’t true, but it would have been a great explanation for how to live in another universe, huh?

Anyway, the self-healing time thing can totally fit into AUs! Both universes are unscathed, and it’s just one universe-abandoned person traveling around.

- Paradox Psychosis

This is a simple one to debunk. Basically, you’re not the same as your alternate self because you have seen different things and therefore have different connections in your brain. So you’re not carbon copies. Twins don’t go around murdering people and twitching, now do they? And Five would have even less in common with his old self—two weeks of memories AND a very different physical form. Even an actual clone wouldn’t have paradox psychosis, because waking up is already a new memory.

TL;DR: Most time travel issues are really fake but boy are they fun!

#ask #Anonymous #tua #death tw #five hargreeves #not a meme

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ohwereusingourmadeupnames · 4 years

Text

Happy Birthday, Tony Stark

Pairing: Peter Parker/Tony Stark Rating: Mature (M) Word Count: ~11k Notes: Tony’s birthday is an important holiday in my life - so I decided to celebrate with this cute little fic. @stark-bb supplied the beauty for the end & I’m really happy with the way it turned out. Happy Birthday, Tony - this is how 50 should have gone for you! Warnings: endgame fix-it (kind of), NSFW stuff, hurt/comfort, insecure!Tony Summary:

It's Tony Stark's birthday - which means there's tons of reasons to celebrate. Check out his relationship with Peter over the course of two birthday's.

For his 50th, Peter goes all out - but is it really the night that Tony wanted?

Or, the one where Peter plans a party and all Tony wants is his love instead.

Read it on A03 here

In retrospect, after Thanos, actually getting to 50 was a miraculous thing.

It took him and Bruce 6 months to figure out how to bring everyone back after the snap. The easiest part of it all was going back in time to collect all of the stones – despite a couple of little hiccups, the job was well done. The gauntlet Tony constructed could easily be coined as one of his greatest technological masterpieces – and when Cara Danvers came back looking for Nick Fury, their answer to who would yield it was nicely answered.

There wasn’t much time between the stones being used and the gauntlet being stolen right out from under their grasp. With the total annihilation of Avenger’s tower, it didn’t seem all that surprising that they were all of the sudden looking down into the abyss of a full-on war. There were so many of Thanos’ troops that for the first little bit of the battle – it didn’t seem like they were going to get anywhere close to winning.

Then, the portals opened up and every single person Tony could remember ever hearing about or seeing stepped through. His eyes caught and kept Peter’s when Cara pulled him out of the ditch with the gauntlet held tightly in his arms. There were so many other things that were important in that moment – the world was on the cusp of decimation once again – yet, he couldn’t break the eye contact. He didn’t want to.

Pulling Peter into his arms the second he could felt like the most natural thing in the world – when the kid dusted in them not that long ago, the world felt a little less special. Now, the scale shifted back to normal. The picture of him and Peter they took when he put together his ‘internship’ was one of the biggest catalysts in his adamancy in figuring out how to solve the time travel issue and put things back to right.

He didn’t plan to press the kiss against his cheek – the adrenaline of battle and finally succeeding made it easy to override the thinking portion of his choice of actions. Peter melted into him and it suddenly felt more than okay. The mumbled “this is nice” drove home the point and Tony let himself have that – the embrace, the comfort, even the solace that came from having Peter back again.

The rage of battle swept them away from each other and for a while, Tony was focused on being the perfect distraction for Cara – her final move of sweeping and engaging just enough to get the stones off of Thanos and onto the gauntlet the single greatest in Avenger history. Watching Thanos drift away into nothingness felt more satisfying than Tony cared to admit – and when he fell to his knees, it was from being overwhelmed that maybe, just maybe, they saved the world for good.

Aftermath in the face of a tragedy that only half of the population remembered was a little weird. It took a lot of explaining to the ones they lost for everyone to make sense of the missing time – of the life that got put on hold because of a crazy vendetta. Tony tried hard to document the progress he and Bruce made through the construction of the time machine and their ideas about the stones so he could explain to anyone that asked. Though – it was unsurprising that Peter was the only one that even wanted to know.

So – Tony explained it to him. They talked through the schematics he initially drew up when solving the irregular blip that Bruce initially couldn’t. Peter’s questions were educated and the things he inferred before Tony could tell him were some that even Bruce did not conclude. He can’t help but be impressed by the kid’s true intelligence. Tony spent so much time trying to protect him, he never took the time to pay the closet attention to him as a person – to the extremely smart and talented individually Peter absolutely was.

In the end, the boy left with a much clearer understanding of the ins and outs of the journey to get him back. It appeased him a grand total of two days before Peter came knocking again. His excuse didn’t seem nearly as sound this time. He kept listening for May to come through the door even though he knew she was working the overnight shift – Tony could see it for what it was, a plea for distraction, for the company of another human being that wasn’t going to ask questions or wonder out loud about things that shouldn’t be spoken about ever again.

It quickly became a routine between them – Peter showing up later into the night with a feeble excuse to come in and spend time with Tony. Tony didn’t spend any time pretending, though – each time it happened, he opened the door and let Peter come in without worrying about the muttered excuse thrown his way.

Dealing with shit was a personal thing, the understanding of that was something Tony knew very intimately.

His own special way of dealing pulled him away from Pepper – their relationship crumbling at the seams when Tony refused to give up the suit. After everything, he felt it to be too big of a compromise – he loved her, but some things were bigger than ultimatums and their inevitable consequences. Losing half of the population made that pretty clear.

And though Tony hated to admit it, he came to rely on the kid’s presence – their late night tv binges one of the only things that chased the nightmares away. Despite seeing him on an almost daily basis now, Tony still dreamt about the way Peter faded from his arms, the impossible to hold feeling of dust running through his hands the worst part of it all. He figured they would stop when the world started to spin the right way again – yet, he couldn’t escape them. It took a lot more brain bytes than he originally thought to push away the few reasons he could come up with as to why that actually was.

No matter how much he didn’t want to think about it, letting Peter in all of those nights ago set the course for them. Tony couldn’t deny that he learned to heal a little more every single time Peter came through the door – the ease in their conversation slowly but surely becoming something that Tony couldn’t live without. They forged a closeness with every night that past – one that Tony quickly had to put in a safe category. There were so many times he found himself wanting to reach across the couch and grip Peter’s hand in his own. So quickly, Peter became a steady source of comfort.

Sooner rather than later, the Avengers were suiting back up – the idea of instituting regular rounds and patrolling schedules winning without question when Steve brought it up. If they were going to deal with entities like Thanos ever again, the need to be better prepared reigned supreme. Luckily, the rest of the group recognized his and Peter’s familiarity and always paired them up. It felt nice to work with him and Tony absorbed every single second of it. They were constantly learning together and when the time came to actually fight, they’d be prepared – some of their tag team moves way more than enough to truly debilitate an opponent.

Of course, being patrol partners meant dealing with the times that things turned to shit. Though there weren’t big time things forcing all of the Avenger’s to assemble, they still dealt with things that were dangerous. Peter, no matter how many times Tony shouted at him about keeping it on the safer side, refused to ignore intuition – even if it led him astray nine times out of ten. It was extremely frustrating, and the only downfall Tony could find with being back to saving the world so soon after the last time.

Things got interesting when Peter almost died taking down Mysterio. It took them a few minutes longer than they expected to get across the pond and into a position where they could help – so Peter handled a lot of it on his own. Tony was glad they spent all the time they did training – some of the moves Friday showed him were truly impressive and genuinely lifesaving. It felt shitty to find Peter broken and bloody – there was no mistaking the pure intensity of the battle that raged before him.

Tony pushed aside all of his personal feelings and helped solve the problem – the best thing he could do for Peter was get things under control, there wouldn’t be any need for the younger man to have to fight so hard after that. It took the two of them and some well-planned drop-ins from Steve and Natasha to put everything to rest. When things were finally over, Peter slumped over against Tony and howled, the tears just as much from frustration as exhaustion and pain. He didn’t let Tony detach the entire time Dr. Cho took a look at him – he stayed by his side and talked him through what happened – tried to keep him calm when a bone was reset and his body temperature worked off the sedative before it could actually numb anything.

It felt hard to separate Peter from the thoughts of caring, and protection, and on the weakest of days – love. He figured the idea of being a father figure wouldn’t be too bad. Tony wanted to believe that Peter leaned on him the way he would May or Happy. There were signs, though – signs that said the younger man’s feelings were way deeper than either wanted to think about at the moment. For the sake of allowing independence and growth, Tony didn’t pursue the obvious.

That mindset didn’t last very long – Peter had a way of being pretty persuasive. His 49th birthday crept toward them without anyone really noticing. Everyone was trying to figure out what post-Thanos meant – and the simplicity of a birthday didn’t seem to be on the forefront of people’s minds. It didn’t matter, anyway – the older he got, the more meaningless birthdays seemed to be. The world continued to spin and need protecting and want things regardless of birthdays.

When the day came, it surprised him to see candles sticking out of a big pile of Belgian waffles that morning – a smiling Peter and Bruce carrying the plate over to him. He shook his head and blew out the candles, the cheesiness of it just that – cheesy – but also very thoughtful and way more than he wanted or imagined. The waffles tasted just a little bit better that morning, too – which was quite the feat, because Tony loved waffles; absolutely fucking loved them.

The rest of the day past in a haze of bowling in the alley in the SI building, eating disgustingly shitty food, and good company. Bruce begged out after the third game and left Peter and Tony alone to duke out games four and five. Peter’s incredible strength worked against him in the end, Tony grabbed both the games and the overall win count for the day. It wouldn’t have hurt his feelings if Peter let him win, either – it felt good to feel good for once.

Heading back to the penthouse, Tony wasn’t surprised when Peter followed him up. From the beginning, Tony made sure to keep May in the loop – and at this point, as long as Peter was somewhere safe, she didn’t seem to mind. Peter probably took more advantage of that little giving piece of her, but Tony wasn’t one to complain when it benefitted him just as much. He watched the kid go straight to the fridge, the massive quantity of junk food they consumed just hours earlier obviously not enough.

“What do you want to do for dinner, Tony? Your fridge is kind of empty,” Peter said after a couple of minutes of leaning over and looking, then stepping away – like if he looked enough times, things would show up eventually. Grinning, Tony sank into one of the stools tucked into the kitchen island, his fingers knitting together.

“I hadn’t thought about it – I’ve eaten more today than I usually do in a week. Want me to order something? I bet we can get that Vietnamese place you like to deliver out here,” Tony mumbled in reply. He brought a finger to his glasses and tapped into Friday’s interface. “Can you order the usual, doll?”

Peter stood on the other side of the island across from him, his cheeks flushed. “You didn’t have to do that. I found an egg in there,” he remarked, his thumb hiking over his shoulder towards the fridge. “It’s your birthday – we should be doing what you want.” Peter tried for a serious look in his direction but failed at the last second – the soft ‘for Tony’ smile he’d come to be very familiar with over the last few months spreading across his lips. He leaned down onto his forearms, the two of them closer than ever now.

“We’ve done enough, Pete. Let me be an old man for the rest of the night, huh? Besides, we’re almost done with The Sopranos – I’m ready to see how it all ends.” Tony wasn’t lying, either – there wasn’t anything else he’d rather do. The thought of getting dressed to go out or partying the night away made his head spin. After all of the bull shit of the life he led, sitting around with takeout and good company didn’t seem all that bad.

The boy seemed to understand, the softness in his eyes answer enough. He shrugged his shoulders and pushed away from the island – Tony watched as he went over to the bar on the other side of the room and grabbed a small rock glass. Without much effort, he poured two fingers worth of whiskey into it and walked back across the room, the glass being passed to Tony before he could even understand what happened.

“You’re going to need that, then,” Peter finally uttered, his face breaking out into a smile. Tony watched the grin grow and internally documented all of the lines and grooves that played across the boy’s face. Peter must have noticed because his smile grew a little bigger. “Want to go hangout in the lab until the food gets here?” The question was shy, despite what felt like millions of hours they spent there together already.

Slamming back the liquid in the glass, Tony let the burn clear his head – his mind in all sorts of places it probably shouldn’t be. He caught Peter’s eye and nodded, his own grin slipping across reluctant lips. “It’s funny that you even need to ask.” Tony got up then, his neck swiveling to crack the stiff joints. “Shall we?” he asked, his head tilting when Peter didn’t move or even say anything.

He didn’t expect the clumsy hands Peter answered with, the boy grabbing his hips a little too tight, the strength in his arms bringing Tony against his chest. Tony let out a breath, his secret wants and desires coming to life before him – his brain shortcutting with the responsible thoughts that tried to break through the haze. His arms wrapped around Peter’s shoulders on their own accord, Tony losing the fight against himself with every passing second.

“Pete – “ Tony tried, his arms opposing his words, the muscles in his shoulders, chest, and biceps tensing and clenching, every fiber of his being wanting to be that much closer. Peter tilting his head until they were looking eye to eye stopped him in his tracks, though – the boy’s eyes bright with many things unreadable, except for one. Slamming his own shut, Tony pulled in a long breath, the look too much.

Then, lips were on his, and all thoughts ceased to exist for the few seconds that clumsiness turned into the hottest thing he’d ever felt. Peter’s hands moved from his hips to frame his face, the tightness of them bringing their lips closer together – Tony tilting his head at the very last second to stop their noses from colliding painfully. He sunk into it and forgot for a second what he needed to do when they broke apart.

The soft moan leaving Peter’s lips when the kiss broke made him press back in for another couple of chaste pecks – Tony hoping more than anything that it was enough to engrain the taste of Peter onto the surface of his skin. Dipping his head, Tony pressed their foreheads together, his eyes closing.

“You figured out what I really wanted,” Tony whispered, a laugh leaving his lips at the sound of the words in his own ears. Up until that point, he hadn’t allowed himself to even think like that. With Peter in his arms – it was easy, though. Like their embrace on the battlefield, Tony couldn’t help what his lips did this close to Peter’s person.

“You’re just a couple months too early,” he managed to get out, the few seconds of hesitation before doing so just enough to soak this intimacy in a little bit longer. “You know we have to wait.” Peter’s head became a little heavier against his own for a second, then he felt the slightest of nods – the boy way smarter than Tony ever gave him credit for. Pulling back, he put a bit of space between them, the only point of contact now his hand on Peter’s cheek.

While his thumb brushed the sharp bone there, Peter leaned into the touch – his eyes shut, the storm inside them kept under control by the lids covering them. Tony let himself look his fill until Peter was the one pulling away – the saddest little smile on his lips. “I know – I just – I couldn’t wait. I – Tony, you’re everything.” The words were earnest and if this were anyone else, he wouldn’t have even given thought to believing him. Peter constantly showed how much respect he deserved, so Tony gave it to him.

“Save that for later, okay? We’ll make your 18th one to remember.”

“Okay. Happy birthday, Mr. Stark.”

----

And boy did they – even a year later, Tony can still remember the entire day they turned into a week rather vividly.

He told Peter to pack a bag and let May know they were staying in the city for the week. For the first time in almost two months, Tony was finally letting him stay over again. He knew if he gave either of them any opportunity to give into temptation, they would – and this seemed like too important of a thing to screw up before it could officially be a thing. He didn’t want to give anyone – including the person who trusted Tony to be a good part of Peter’s life – the ability to question anything between them.

The second Peter walked through the door; the boy was on him – Tony barely able to get his glasses off his face before they were kissing. It didn’t make it past the necking stage, of course – Tony had too many plans to lose his shit on the couch in his front room – but it was nice to finally let himself touch and feel, to give into the want that so obviously coursed through them both. He let Peter squirm against him until he let out a satisfied huff and finally came up for air. “Happy birthday, Petey,” Tony mumbled against his forehead.

Coney Island took up the rest of the day – Tony laughing and smiling harder than he could remember, especially since Thanos. The ride on the Cyclone threw them into each other and when they got off, Tony wrapped Peter in his arm and steered them back towards the line, the two of them riding the coaster two more times before moving on. Peter insisted they finish the day at the aquarium – the boy totally obsessed with the penguins and otters.

When they got back to the penthouse, Tony led Peter into the bedroom, straight past the bed, and into the attached bathroom. He pushed him down until he was sitting on the edge of the tub and went about putting the necessary stuff for a bath in it. While the water ran, Tony took Peter’s clothes off one article at a time, his lips following behind caressing the newly exposed skin. Getting down to his boxers, Tony had him stand up and pulled them very slowly down Peter’s legs, the tips of his fingers tracing the same path as the fabric.

He stayed on his knees and lavished the skin on the inside of Peter’s left knee, then nosed his way up his right thigh – his lips landing on his hip, eyes looking up. “Get in the tub,” he mumbled, his eyebrows raising in invitation. Peter didn’t waste any time complying with the request – a soft sigh leaving his lips when he sank into the warm water.

Stepping back, Tony started the actual part of the bath that was for Peter. He slipped the buttons out of the slots on the vest he was wearing and let it hit the ground. The shirt came next, his fingers slow in the way they moved from one button to the next. A light shimmy had the button down flowing off his shoulders to join the vest on the floor. Kicking off his shoes, he hobbled about for a second to get the socks off – then straightened back out with sexiness written on his face once again.

Peter’s eyes were glued to his every move, Tony happy to see red trail down his cheeks, neck, and onto his chest with each new piece of clothing that came off. The boy was fisting himself under the water, Tony could tell by the wave and ripple of it. Tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth, Tony made quick work of his belt and the button on his slacks, the pants falling without much effort after that. His black boxer briefs stayed on for a second, Tony taking a couple of steps closer to the tub until he could lean down and press a kiss against Peter’s lips.

While they kissed, Tony pulled his underwear off, a little groan slipping out between them when his erection finally hit the coolness of the air around them. “Shift forward a little, babe,” Tony muttered, his body sinking easily into the water with the newly made space. Peter moved back and settled between his legs without any prompting, Tony’s chest now toasty from the combination of water and the boy’s warm skin. Wrapping his arms around him, Tony pulled him even further back – his cock trapped perfectly between his own stomach and Peter’s back.

Touching his lips to Peter’s neck, Tony let himself relax into the warm water and the sound embrace – the boy in front of him doing the same thing if the sagging weight against his chest was anything to go by. “Did you have a good birthday?” he spoke the words right beside Peter’s ear – the gust of breath having the desired effect as goosebumps launched themselves across his skin.

His head fell back against Tony’s shoulder, Peter’s hands moving until they were gripping the older man’s across his stomach. “It’s been great. This is the best part, though – finally getting to spend this kind of time with you.” It was obvious Peter meant each of those words, too; his voice took on such authentic tone when he was talking to Tony. “I love you, Tony. I have for a while.”

Though he suspected, Tony didn’t think he would hear those words for a long time. He forgot how mature Peter could be when he really put his mind to things. Tony moved his arms until he could cup Peter’s cheek, the boy shifting a little bit to look over his shoulder – their eyes meeting. “I love you too, Pete. I’m the worst possible choice for you, but I’m also incessantly selfish. You can have whatever you want from me.” Tony capped his words off with a soft kiss, his lips lingering just because they could.

“I just want you, Tony. I thought for a long time that I wanted to save the world, be a hero – and yeah, I still want that – but I want this, too. Simplicity. Your arms around me. I’m young, I know – I also know what I want, so don’t try and talk me out of it.” Peter practically huffed out, his last couple of words sounding a bit petulant. They made Tony’s heart jolt, regardless – the weight of them surprisingly heavy.

Who was he to dictate any of that part of Peter’s life? Tony did lots of questionable things in his youth – more than a few of them without thinking about it as thoroughly as Peter seemed to. There were no regrets in the pacing of their relationship and how very natural it occurred, so what was there to really hold him back? There were times Tony was selfish about much lesser things and at this point in his life, why hold now? Smiling to himself, Tony relaxed even further into the porcelain of the tub.

“I’m not going to try and talk you out of anything. It might suck for a little while – telling everyone and explaining ourselves, but I’m with you.”

That was about a year ago and while Tony was right – it was a hassle to constantly answer questions and defend a thing that felt so natural to them – things were also too good to really be that upset about it. They went about telling the team first, these people fought with them on a constant basis and needed to understand the decision they made. It took a bit of talking Steve from the tizzy he spun up and a few well placed “I know exactly how you feels” to get everyone to calm down enough to talk to Peter about it.

The old guy of the group grabbed Peter’s shoulder, Steve’s eyes seemingly trying to stare right into his soul. “He’s old, Pete,” Steve started – the rest of the group breaking out into varying degrees of laughter around them. Tony prickled for a second, his pride a little hurt from the implication – but what could he really do? When compared to Peter, he was old – generations older, in fact.

Peter’s hand grabbed Steve’s and dislodged it, usually soft brown eyes serious, his gaze just as sharp. “So are you.” Tony watched him bite into his bottom lip and unsuccessfully trying to stop laughter from bubbling in his chest. “I don’t care. I’m old enough to understand all of your concerns and appreciate them – but I am politely ignoring everything you guys have to say. I want this. He didn’t talk me into it, he didn’t groom me,” Peter stopped then, his eyes trailing over to Rhodey who spoke the traitorous words earlier. “He’s just my person, you know?”

After hearing that, Tony figured no one could stand between them. Not even May – who surprisingly didn’t seem shocked or upset about the situation. She glared at Tony for a long minute, then pulled him into her arms. “If you hurt him, I’ll do the same – got it?” she whispered, the arms “hugging” him tightening ever so slightly.

“Noted,” Tony replied instantly, his hands patting her back lightly. He caught the look Peter and May shared when they pulled away and had to try very hard not to burst out laughing in her face. They were both stubborn, the older man instantly understanding where Peter got it from. Wrapping his arm around Peter, Tony pressed a kiss to the side of his head, the boy relaxing into him.

“The hardest part is over,” he mumbled into Peter’s hair, the hand on his shoulder bringing him more tightly against his chest.

----

Despite being with one of the most caring humans on the planet, Tony’s 50th birthday loomed over him. For whatever reason, it felt like a big one. The age difference between him and Peter never played a part for either of them – yet, he couldn’t stop thinking about how glaring it actually was. Sometimes when he picked Peter up from HIGH SCHOOL, he felt incredibly old – and the closer his birthday got, the more ridiculous it seemed to be picking someone up from secondary school.

He didn’t give a shit about it – not for him, at least. The older person in the scenario always got the better end of the deal. Peter was loving and kind, young to the point where some of the shit he pulled out of his ass to refer to was adorably offensive. No – he didn’t really get what Peter saw in him. At least – lately. Maybe that mid-life crisis was finally sneaking up on him – the idea of that laughable after some of the crazy stuff that went on his life.

In the last couple of weeks, Tony felt some of his self-worth starting to diminish a little bit. Which was literally silly – Peter touched him, kissed him – practically worshipped him on a nightly basis. Feelings weren’t always rational, though. Every time Peter mentioned the big party he was planning for the occasion, Tony felt himself curl in a little bit – his affinity for not hurting Peter seemingly the only thing keeping him from shouting about how little he wanted to attend a party celebrating his old ass.

Peter flourished, though – so he didn’t stop him, not even when his heart started to race when his young boyfriend talked about all of the Avengers and their travel plans to meet at the complex. It was nice that they all wanted to come back and celebrate – he just hated the fact that they were celebrating such a long milestone on Tony’s account. He told himself to grin and bear it, though – it couldn’t possibly be that bad.

And since Peter was really wrapped up in all of the planning, he didn’t get the subtle hints that Tony tried to make. His “maybe it can be just you and me” wasn’t said early enough and when he thought to bring it up – his mind went to all of the plans Peter made; the way his caring, so very loving boyfriend thought every little thing out.

The night of, Tony went through the motions – he donned the suit (because let’s face it, Tony looked damn good in a custom Gucci suit.) The barber Peter paid to come in and clean them up did a good job on his facial hair and the slight trim of the longer strands on the top of his head made him feel the slightest bit better. Whenever Peter caught his eyes in the mirror, Tony could genuinely smile back.

They walked in together hand-in-hand, which Tony still felt a little giddy about. He milled around and did the right amount of small talk – his chest feeling a little warmer with each hug he got from his Avenger family. Tony did all the right things until he found an out, the anxiety that was building starting to clutch at him, the shininess of the night a little too bright for his tastes.

Walking into the lab, Tony breathed a sigh of relief, his muscles unclenching for the first time all night. He slipped off his jacket and got to work on a couple of modifications to the nanotech he was implementing into the suit – the response time still a little slow for his liking. For the first time the entire night, Tony felt the weight lift off of his chest. He got so zoned into what he was doing, he didn’t see Peter walk into the lab – or really acknowledge his presence until a hand was on his shoulder.

“I thought I might find you here. What happened?” His voice was soft – though, Tony also sensed the slightest bit of tension sitting under the surface of those words.

He bought himself some time by swiping across the holoscreen, his work dropping down into the folder to be pulled out at a later time. “It got a little crowded in there.” He mumbled with a shrug, his eyes nowhere near meeting Peter’s. “I got an idea and kind of had to run with it.” That excuse almost as lame as the first one.

Peter’s hands wrapped around his shoulders, the boy’s strength keeping him against his chest – forcing him to give up some attention. “What’s really wrong, though? You’ve been a little off lately.”

So, he did notice. Clenching his eyes shut, Tony gave in a little, his body leaning into Peter, letting the younger man take a bit of his weight. “I’m just old – I didn’t want to celebrate that. But, I didn’t have the heart to say anything.” He felt deflated as the words left his lips – the strain of it finally climbing its way down and off his heart. “I’ve been having a moment and I love the hell out of you for doing what you did. I’ve been doubting why you’d want me and it’s so obvious, isn’t it?” Tony leaned his head against Peter’s, so much defeat within him.

For a man that saved the world, he didn’t feel very strong in that moment. Being in Peter’s arms made him vulnerable and, in that moment, he couldn’t find a way to stop the avalanche tumbling him down the cliff. A couple tears streamed down his cheeks before Tony could even think to stop them. Peter’s thumb was there in an instant, mopping them up without a second thought.

“It is – but that’s okay. I should have noticed – I mean, I did, but I was excited. You did say you wanted it to be just you and me. Can we start that now? I’ve got a pretty decent idea,” Peter whispered, the leverage of his hands on Tony’s face bringing their eyes level. “I love you, Tony – today is about you, not me.” Peter let the words sit between them for a second, the boy giving him time to say no if he really wanted.

Instead of answering, Tony closed the space between them, Peter’s lips warm against his own. Tony gripped the side of Peter’s suit jacket and simply let himself go – the younger man taking control of the kiss without a single problem. Tipping his head to the side, a soft gasp left his mouth when Peter took advantage of the position and started to press his tongue in deeper. The tangle of heat there absolutely delicious.

He felt himself being pushed back, his feet moving on their own accord until the edge of the lab table hit his lower back, another moan leaving his lips. With the kiss broken, Peter put a little bit of space between them and went right for Tony’s belt – his nimble fingers getting the thing undone and his button open within seconds. The innocent Peter from a year ago did not exist – the younger man had no problems pushing his pants and boxer briefs down enough to get access to his cock. Lips wrapping around him pulled a “fuck” from deep within him, his control ticking down to nothing.

“Pete – “ Tony grumbled, his hand camping out on his boyfriend’s shoulder, fingers digging into the suit jacket there. Peter worked him over effortlessly, the boy’s tongue trailing down his length as the swallowed him whole. The tip of his dick hit the back of Peter’s throat time and time again – his hips pressing in that last little inch when the other’s hands reached back and used his ass cheeks to pull him forward. The tears in Peter’s eyes welled, but he pulled him deeper anyway – his mouth stretching obscenely.

The gulping sensation of Peter’s throat restricting against his already pulsing length brought him to the edge embarrassingly quick. He moved his fingers up Peter’s neck into his hair, his grip tight after a particularly delicious suck from the tip of his cock all the way down to the root – Peter’s cute little nose dirtily pressed into the nest of well-trimmed pubes. “Oh god – Pete. I’m going to cum. You’ve got to stop. Pete!” Tony spoke helplessly, his free hand scabbling at the table behind him.

Tossing his head back, Tony felt the snap of too much arousal in his gut – his hips pressing forward totally out of his control. “Pete, fuck!” He let out a series of groans with every hard suck against the head of his cock, Peter obviously very keen on milking him for all that he was worth. Tony forced himself to loosen the grip in Peter’s hair, a soft wince leaving his lips when a couple strands of hair caught between his fingers. Desperate for the feel of those spit slick lips against his own, Tony pulled Peter up off his knees and slammed their mouths together.

“What about you?” Tony mumbled against his lips a couple of minutes later, the taste of himself on Peter’s tongue almost enough to get him ready to go again. His fingers were desperate to get their hands on Peter’s skin – the older man hoping for just a little bit more.

Peter grabbed Tony’s hand and pressed it against the crotch of his pants – the wetness there apparent, the suits pants totally ruined by the mess he made. “I think we should head upstairs and see where the rest of the night takes us.” He grinned and gave Tony another kiss, his hands greedy in the way they helped him get his pants up – in the way he pulled Tony out of the lab and into the elevator.

Surprisingly, Peter didn’t try anything in the elevator – he kept Tony against his chest, arms slung tightly around him. “I love you,” the boy mumbled against the shell of his ear, the ride long enough for the intense zing to cool off a bit – the softness of his words perfect for the moment.

“I love you, too.”

That was just the calm before the storm.

Tony followed with hungry eyes as Peter started to take off his clothes the second they hit the penthouse – his bow tie hitting Tony’s cheek before the older man could process what was even happening. Eyes wide, Tony didn’t hesitate to stay on Peter’s heals and try to touch the newly revealed skin with hungry fingertips.

Getting into the bedroom, Tony expected to find a naked Peter in his bed – instead, the naked man was standing at the edge, an expectant look on his face. “Come here,” he beckoned, his long fingers hypnotizing enough to draw Tony in right away. His feet carried him over there – skintight with excitement of what was to come. “Get on the bed, Tony.” Peter’s grin was too good to ignore, so he complied immediately.

Lithe hands made quick work of his shoes and socks – Tony moving up a little further on the mattress when his feet were bare. Peter continued his exploration by moving to the button on is pants and pulling them and his underwear down his legs without hesitation. Soft fingertips explored the soles of his feet, nails running over the arches. “I love how strong your legs are. You’re not the tallest guy – but you’ve got these legs that carry so much weight.” Tony slammed his eyes closed, his brain not able to take the words and the sight of Peter all at once.

The younger man peppered kisses up his legs, over the ticklish part of his knees and across the long length of his thighs – his skin pebbling with the physical sign of arousal. Peter moved up after that, his fingers getting Tony’s buttons open without much effort – the boy touching the newly exposed skin with reverence – eyes glued to Tony’s. “Your stomach is my favorite. You’re stacked – there’s so much muscle there. And then you’ve got this slight little swell here,” Peter moved his hands to run over the littlest bit of stomach Tony hadn’t been able to get rid of over the years. “Reminds me that you’re human, you know?” He let his tongue swirl across the skin there.

A soft touch to his face had him blinking his eyes open, Peter’s face wide open – the heat there, totally encompassed by the lightness the other was trying so hard to portray. Tony nodded his head then, a little smile playing on his lips. Peter returned it, his exploring fingers moving once against to his chest – his nipples pebbling with their attention. “It’s hard to forget sometimes, too,” Tony whispered, chest coming up off the bed to press into Peter’s touch.

A couple minutes later, Peter urged him to turn over – his teasing touches starting up the second his flesh was on display. The younger man’s fingers pressed into the muscles of his shoulders and back, the touch just as soothing as it was arousing. He made a trail from the back of Tony’s neck down to the valley of his lower back with tongue, teeth, and lips – each nip and lick taking him apart inch by inch.

Stopping at his ass, Peter grabbed a cheek in each of his hands. “This is my favorite, though. You’ve taken to wearing those tight slacks and it’s a total tease. I want to take you apart, but then, I want to see your ass clench and flex in those pants,too. It’s distracting, Tony. And I think you know that.” Peter emphasized each of his words with sharp bites to each round globe – the stimulation of the skin there causing Tony to groan, his muscles clenching.

“I like the way you look at me,” Tony managed to groan out, his hips pressing back to get more of Peter’s touch, anything and everything the younger man could give him. Peter rewarded him with another stinging bite on the meat of his right ass cheek. “Fuck, Pete – “ his words felt a little slurred, each one dripping out with any consent of his own.

“I know – and that’s what makes it hotter. Your ass is kind of forbidden. I can count on one hand how many times I’ve had it over the last year,” Peter drove his point home with a not so subtle yank of Tony’s cheeks apart – the air hitting him cool, a sudden chill rushing over his already tender skin.

Fingers pressing against his hole brought Tony to mere whimpers – Peter was right, he didn’t usually do a lot of time in this position, the vulnerability usually making him uncomfortable. There was something in the way Peter was handling him that made him want to give in and let Peter take and give and bring them both to their fucking knees, though. The other seemed to take his noises as a good sign and got to work.

Despite being 50 years old, Tony never got used to the feeling of a tongue in, around, or up his asshole. A laugh fell from his lips – the feeling their foreign and overwhelming, his gut filling with shame and heat all at once. Peter wasn’t discouraged by anything and went to town – his tongue tracing Tony’s rim before pressing in, the tip absolutely devastating in the way it plunged and caressed. The looser he started to feel, the more Peter doubled his efforts.

Soon, fingers were joining Peter’s tongue, the rhythmic press of blunt fingers and a warm tongue a complete mixture of sensations and stimulus – the feeling absolutely fucking perfect. He didn’t feel old when he gave his cock a little thought – the length was raging, the hardness there throbbing with needy want. It felt good – Peter made him feel good. Groaning at a spectacularly good press of Peter’s fingers, Tony bit into the pillow below him – Peter made him feel so fucking good.

“Pete – I need you to fuck me, please. Show me. Show me how much you want me. Need it – need you, baby.” He couldn’t explain what he said or how he said it or even if it made sense; his brain was running on want, adrenaline, and the dopamine that made being delirious feel like the warmest hug – like it was the most exquisite thing in the entire world. His breaths were coming in pants, Peter’s last few thrusts glancing his prostate deliciously.

He felt the younger man move behind him, the bed shifting with his weight. Tony heard the drawer open and let out a sigh of relief – Peter’s weight draping over him the best feeling of the night. “I’ll take care of you, Tony,” Peter said, the words skating across his skin – Pete’s fingers already working the lube into him, the fingers there not nearly enough.

The party a few floors below them probably heard the loud groan Tony let slip from within him when Peter bottomed out. The stretch of not being all that used to the fullness inside him made all of his limbs break out in what felt like waves of fire – his brain stuck between the pleasure-pain of the feeling. The fact that Peter didn’t give him any time to think about it before bottoming out completely helped and the leering blaze of pain that tried to stick around went straight out the window – the heat in his core pooling once again.

Kisses against his neck and the hands running down his sides relaxed him enough to let Peter move – the younger man’s cock thick, his length the perfect combination of inches and girth. For such a young person, Peter kept amazing control over himself – his strokes long and lazy, the best part coming from the exquisite roll of his hips when bottoming out; his prostate getting a gentle nudge with each one. Tony didn’t do anything other than squirm below him – his mind was everywhere, filled with nothing but the things Peter was doing to him.

“You feel amazing, Tony. Fucking amazing,” Peter babbled, the boy’s strokes picking up without either of them noticing – the pace natural, the steady climb of their love making slowly getting to the ultimate crescendo. “I don’t know how you can do this for as long as you do – I want to cum already. I’m going to coat your insides so that every time you even think about not being enough – you’ll remember the way it felt to have me pulse everything I have so deep inside of you. Fuck. I’m so close – “

Tony shouted – Peter’s words and the increase of pace getting him from hot to completely bothered in no time at all. The other’s weight pressed him against the mattress, every thrust brushing his cock against the soft sheets below him. His eyes were clenched tightly, Tony determined to let his mind and body wander – Peter’s guiding hands the only thing that mattered in that moment. “I love you, Pete,” Tony choked out, his head turning to catch Peter’s glance over his shoulder. When they caught eyes, the look in Peter’s tossed him over the edge – the younger man’s mouthed ‘I love you, too’ way, way, way too much for him to handle.

Peter miraculously held on for another handful of strokes, the younger man keeping his promise – his overused hole clenching with every pulse he could feel. The repeated Tony played in his head like a mantra – Peter’s voice the only one he wanted to hear say his name for the rest of his life.

----

When the immediate fatigue of orgasming within the inch of his life wore off, Tony coerced Peter into the shower – the younger man still covered in sweat and lube. The stayed wrapped around each other trading kisses back and forth – Peter continuing his trend of taking care of Tony; the young man surprisingly thorough in the way he ran his fingers through long locks and scrubbed the dirt, grim, and cum off his skin.

The last couple of hours were exactly what he was looking for – and Tony told Peter so more than a few times between getting out of bed and finishing up in the shower. His boyfriend simply kissed him, the boy obviously not looking for any sort of praise. After all they did for each other, thank you’s were a little meaningless – both men more than capable of expressing their gratitude in many different ways.

Pulling on a pair of sleep pants, Tony got back into bed on Peter’s instruction. The younger man walked out of the room for a couple of minutes – Tony laying back against the mattress, the feeling of contentment lingering in his mind for the first time in a while. There were many things Peter did for him – but this, the never-ending feeling of comfort, that’s what Tony liked the most. Being the 50-year-old man that he was, having a person that could bring him that was the best birthday present Tony hoped to continue to keep on getting.

The snick of Peter’s bare feet on the floor brought him out of his thoughts – the younger man carrying a box with him when Tony sat up to watch him walk back into the room. “I know you said no presents, but I think you’re going to like this one. I only spent money on one part of it – and it wasn’t that much, so don’t be upset, okay? I’m 99% sure you’re going to really like this.” Watching Peter babble about it made up for the fact that his boyfriend once again ignored his wishes (though, the longer they were together, the longer Tony figured Peter did that on purpose – because it was a fun game between them.)

Tony reached out to Peter, his fingers beckoning the younger man into bed. “I won’t be upset – just come sit with me while I open it.” He didn’t care how needy he seemed – today was his birthday and Peter was hell bent on catering to him. Peter didn’t disagree, anyway, he easily slid into the bed next to Tony, the box still in his hands.

“So, I guess I should explain this a little bit before you open it,” Peter started, his fingers playing with the bow on top of the box. “You’re always talking about how you miss everyone – and how it would be a lot easier if you had tangible memories of things. I know you’ve got all the technology in the world and could make that happen if you really wanted to. I mean – you still use Friday to watch me sometimes, you can’t even deny that.” He chuckled then, his face a little red from nervousness – the emotion easily read on his face.

“Anyway – I wanted you to see that people love and miss you, too. That, despite what you might think, the world would not be the same with you and the 50 years you’ve been kicking around it.” Then and only then did Peter let go of the box – his eyes flitting back and forth between Tony and whatever was in the damn thing.

Taking a deep breath, Tony pulled the top off, his head tilting when he saw what looked like a photo album sitting there. He peeked up, but Peter’s eyes were staring at the album in the box, the expression on his face unreadable. Tony took a deep breath and dug in, his curiosity winning out over any other emotion that was vying for his attention.

Opening it, Tony’s breath caught – the cover page was one of the professional photos they got done a couple months ago. The smile on both of their faces was stunning, the love written there obvious. A few of those photos were in frames around the room. In big letters it said, ‘To Tony Stark’ and under the picture the words ‘from the people who love you’ were written there.

He flipped the first page and almost lost it – the collection of him and Rhodey during college making him want to cringe and rush back up to the party all at once. His hair cut during that time of his life wasn’t the greatest – an instant regret for the party in the back look he tried to pull off for a little while washing over him. On the far side of the page, a note was written.

Happy birthday, old man!

When Peter brought this up, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to embarrass the hell out of you. College is where you changed my life and it’ll always be one of my favorite times in life. Thanks for the memories, Tones – I love you, brother.

Rhodey

Tony glanced up, a few tears streaming down his face freely. Peter shook his head, his eyes moving back to the album in Tony’s hands. “You’re just getting started – keep going.”

He didn’t have anything left in him to argue – so he turned the page, his heart warming up a little further. The shots of him and Bruce in the lab were some he’d never seen before. There were a couple of more recent photos in there, too. The combination of Bruce and the Hulk still something that made Tony laugh to this very day – the symbiosis between the two entities just another thing to add to the long list of things that changed over the years.

Tony,

There’s too much to say and not enough space to say it. Learning and progressing and creating with you over the years is why I am the way that I am. We saved the world together, brother – that’s the ultimate bond. Thankful for you and your arrogantly brilliant ass.

Happy birthday, Tony – enjoy it.

Love you,

Bruce

There were so many pages filled to the brim with photos of him with various people – Happy, Pepper, Natasha, Clint, Thor, even Wanda and Vision. They each wrote individual notes and recalled shared memories and little thoughts and blurbs about his progressive old age and the notedly selfless way Tony could care about people. It was overwhelming – each new page eye opening, his perspective of himself and the relationship he had with these people progressively changing. This was how people saw him? He spent so much of his youth having people slander his name – it almost didn’t make sense that people could feel this kind of way about him.

When he got to the last couple of pages, Tony couldn’t stand it – he reached over and pulled Peter to him, his face settling into the safe confines of the other’s neck. “I can’t believe that you did this, baby. It’s – the best gift I’ve ever gotten.” Tony spoke the words so reverently, his entire being still a little bit in awe of what he’d seen – of the kind words that some of the best people he knew wrote about him, each one way more than he ever could have expected.

Peter wrapped his arms around him and held him close – the younger man pressing kisses against his hair and forehead every few moments. “You’re still not done yet,” the younger man reminded him – Tony pulling back to find a soft look on Peter’s face. “I think you might like these last couple the best.”

Suddenly spurred on by Peter’s words, Tony shifted his attention back to the photo album in his hand, eager fingers turning the page to find pictures of himself. The look on his face in every single one of them radiated love and excitement and pure happiness. He didn’t usually like pictures of just him – no matter how much Peter begged, he didn’t even send the man he loved selfies. Yet, he couldn’t peal his eyes away from these. Lifting them, he looked questioningly at Peter. “What are these from, even?”

Chuckling, Peter reached over and let his fingers brush across the ones within reach, the ‘for Tony only’ smile pulling his lips wide. “I took these, actually. When we first started dating, I got into the habit of snapping a picture of you when you looked happy. Then, it became a thing to catch those looks whenever I could. You’d be surprised by the number of pictures I had to choose from.” Peter spoke the words with pride, the creepiness of them not even registering with the younger man. Tony grabbed his hand and pressed a soft kiss to the knuckles – his eyes alight.

“I’m not surprised by anything that you do, Peter Parker. They’re beautiful – I didn’t know I could look like this,” Tony remarked, his voice carrying all of the awe that he felt. It warmed his heart to know that Peter was the one making him look like that – they were good for each other, but it was nice to get a real example of it.

The thought of what could come next had Tony moving on – the apprehension making his fingers tremble as he turned the page. And man did it completely knock the wind from him. The last page was a collection of pictures of him and Peter – some he’d seen before and a few he hadn’t, the candid nature of them making it seem like they were taken by other people. His chin dropped a little, the evidence that Peter felt the same way right there on the page. Some of these pictures were old – a couple of them obviously before they got together.

Reaching over, Tony grabbed Peter’s hands and tangled their fingers together – he would probably need the added strength to read the long note there. Peter’s words always had a way of bringing him to his knees, he doubted this would be any different. The other’s hand gave his a squeeze, Tony diving in the very next second.

Hey you,

When I first started this, I never thought I’d get to learn so much about you. I especially loved your college hairstyle – totally my favorite.

I know there’s not a lot you can give a person that is both a genius and a millionaire – but I figured memories are priceless and the easiest thing I could give you. Not just memories between you and I, either. We’re just starting our journey.

I guess what I’m trying to say with all of this is – there’s nothing wrong with the years you’ve lived. They have given so many people things that are priceless. Friendship, love, mentorship, knowledge. All of those things are important. You are a manifestation of each one and that is the person I get to love on a daily basis.

Every single one of your years will always matter, Tony. I’m forever grateful that you want to spend the ones you fought so hard to get with me. That’s not something that I take for granted. You teach me things I’ll never be able to learn from anyone else. You care for me in a way that is devoted and careful – like I’m the most precious piece of china you’ve ever been given. And the way you love me, Tony, it’s something that is unexplainable and completely mind-blowing. You give yourself so fiercely – it just takes a little while to truly understand what that means.

You’re my hero, Tony. And I don’t think I’m the only one that feels that way.

I love you.

& I happen to think that’s inevitable.

Happy birthday, Tony

The tears were falling freely now – the day taking a completely different turn than he expected. Between the tenderness, spectacular sex, and this insanely heartfelt gift, Tony was out of his mind with feelings he couldn’t classify. He never liked his birthday. Whether it was a reminder of how lonely he was or a big spectacle for the people that wanted something from him – it never seemed to be the occasion that others could make out of their own special days. Though it didn’t change his opinion about the day in general, Tony wasn’t afraid to admit that the day with Peter by his side was substantially better.

He didn’t hesitate to use both hands to palm Peter’s cheeks and seal their lips together. His wet face made the kiss a little messy – but neither of them seemed to care. Feeling Peter give into it, Tony tilted his head and deepened the kiss, the closeness just right for the situation. “I love you, Pete. This is – I can’t believe you did this for me.”

Leaning their foreheads together, Peter rubbed his nose against Tony’s, his eyes closing as he leaned into the connection between them. “I love you, Tony. I’m going to take care of you for as long as you’ll have me.”

“Forever then?” Tony asked immediately, the words tumbling out on their own accord.

“Yeah, baby. Forever.” Peter answered, his lips finding Tony’s again.

“Happy birthday, Tony Stark.”

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