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joeyskattebo · 2 years

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White Picket Fence part 4

“Why couldn’t you just have given those people some cigarettes? Or some money?” Steven said before eating some lobster.

“Why? Because fuck them, that’s why! The poor and the needy’s problems are not my problems!” Michael said coldly before eating some caviar.

“Because it’s good to help those in need; some people need help and maybe those people are employed and maybe they’re not. If you are homeless you’re sleeping in the streets, you’re dirty and hungry; of course you are going to be pushy and crazy; you have nothing. Even if you do give them money or food they are still in the same position. The same with people on unemployment or food stamps; these are people with not very much in the first place and what help those programs do, doesn’t give people a luxurious lifestyle; they don’t more than comfortably.”

“But that cuts from our profits! I mean this is money we’re talking about……why don’t all these fucking people get jobs or better jobs?!”

“That’s not always possible Michael, even if you do try.”

“Life is harsh Steven, only the strongest survive, look at nature!”

“Yeah, and the planet is only ten thousand years old.”

“Fuck you, Steve! I know you don’t believe in God Steven, but he is real, and that is around the time he made the universe and everything and everyone in it. And you are going to end up in hell, while I will be in heaven in my mansion!”

“That’s so ridiculous Michael; there is nothing scientific about that statement at all. Heaven, hell, god, angels, demons, and satan, it’s all make believe, it’s all mythology, like the mythology of any other culture. I believe the universe is around fourteen billion years old, and there are around one hundred and seventy billion galaxies that we can see alone; who knows how many there actually are. And I believe the planet is over four and a half billion years old. I also believe in evolution, all plants and animals on Earth have evolved from earlier species. And as far as human beings go, I believe we evolved from apes around three million years ago. Science backs all of this up and it doesn’t back your beliefs. Michael, scientists constantly discover fascinating insights about the universe and ourselves, whereas religion enforces the same dogma as they did when they began, despite science continuing to prove them wrong.”

“Yeah whatever, professor!”

“Fuck you Michael, and more U.S. troops should be sent to the Middle East, right?”

“Of course they should! Our oil and our honor must protected from those dirty,”

“Shut up, Michael!”

“Every fucking time I say something racist, sexist or homophobic you have to defend those people. That’s just who I am and I don’t care,” Michael said before eating more caviar. Steven eats some bread before saying:

“I know you don’t care Michael, but I defend those people because racism, sexism and homophobia oppresses them, but you wouldn’t know what that is like.” There is silence for a second:

“You think it’s easy to be rich and powerful! There is a lot of pressure and risk that goes into all of that, it’s not all fun and games!”

“I know that Michael, but you chose that life whereas the people who are oppressed by poverty, racism, sexism, homophobia, and transphobia didn’t choose that life. You have more than you will ever need and most people,”

“Alright I know! I’m fucking rich and I’m powerful and I was a CEO and I own a lot of capital why don’t you nail me to a fucking cross!”

“I’m sorry Michael, I don’t mean to offend you.”

“Alright then!” The two friends finish dinner without saying much of anything before Michael pushes the intercom button to get Gloria’s attention.

“Yes, Michael?” Gloria said through the intercom.

“Will you, bring desert out for us?”

“Yeah, I’ll be right down.” In a couple minutes Gloria brings out a dish of chocolate mousse for the each of them:

“Thank you, Gloria,” Steven said as she put it by his plate.

“You’re welcome,” Gloria said as he took his plate. Michael didn’t thank Gloria when she gave him his desert and took his plate; which is his usual behavior when being served. Gloria is used to this and then goes upstairs to clean the bedroom floor. After they eat their desert, the both of them move back into the living room for some earl grey. As they were sipping their tea, Michael lit up a cigar and Steven says:

“That was a lovely meal!”

“Yes it really was,” Michael said returning the smile. Michael puffs on his cigar:

“I bet you think everyone should eat like that everyday huh?” Steven looks at him with an offended expression:

“Yes I do.” Michael laughed:

“You’re my closest friend but you’re fucking crazy!”

“You’re the fucking crazy one Michael; you spent your entire life pursuing meaningless material wealth; climbing the corporate ladder while pushing people down, and for what? Power and money; the power to control others. You have a fucking private plane, land and houses all over the world. Why? No one needs most of the stuff you, or people like you have.”

“Fuck you Steven, Fuck you!”

“I’m sorry Michael, I don’t mean to hurt you but you didn’t need to attack me like that.”

“I forgive you Steven and I’m sorry too.”

“I forgive you as well,” Steven said with a smile. They continued to sip their tea when Michael said: “You don’t understand, the government and the economy must be run the way that it is. The people with authority have the most money and wealth because they fucking deserve it. It’s what right; the people at the top of the hierarchy have more than the people at the bottom because it’s the motivation to climb that ladder. Hierarchies and power structures like that have always existed. And who is at the top of the hierarchy of the global economy? The white straight man! And that’s where he fucking belongs beca,” And before Michael could even finish his sentence, a Black Panther burst through the bay window and as they both scream, the Black Panther jumps on Michael and mauls him to death. As Michael screams, Steven screams and

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starryocean · 2 years

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so...it’s been a while since I’ve done some book reviews. I know not a lot of people read these, but since I managed to finally finish a book after several months of a reading slump I’m compelled to talk about it. Also maybe catch up on my thoughts on a handful of other books I’ve read before my reading slump that I didn’t review yet. I won’t be talking about Kumoko 12&13 yet, as I still really need to reread to give those the best review I can.

Only one of these is going to be small. Most of them will end up being longer, since I have a lot more to say. Either way, I’m going to put this under a cut and then we can jump in.

1 - Her Majesty’s Swarm #1 by 616th Special Information Battalion

I read another light novel even when I said I wouldn’t read any until I finished So I’m a Spider, sue me. At least this one was an ebook and doesn’t take up precious space on my shelf. Anyway, I bought it on a whim because I was in the mood for some good schlock and I read part of the manga and liked it.

Funnily enough...I have to say the manga is the better adaptation. It fleshes out things that were only barely touched on in the novel, showing a lot more than just telling like the novel mostly does. Sure, some things are skipped, but the manga artist also put in foreshadowing for a character reveal at the end of the first novel, showcasing that character watching the protag from afar while in the first stages of her conquest. I haven’t been able to read much more of the manga because it was licensed in english and so it can’t be fan-translated anymore, but I do have a few questions based on some of my memories of the novel’s ending.

First off: I do think, if the author goes this route, creating an empire of demihumans would be cool. Like, the protag clearly cares about the elves, even when the author seems to be trying to say she doesn’t and is just using the attack against them as an excuse. And there are elves in other countries, as suggested by the ending--if the protag kills off all the humans to establish demihuman supremacy, I think that would be a pretty interesting way for the novel to go. You don’t normally see that in anime/manga.

But that begs another question: why kill off every single human? if there’s no humans left, there’s no one for the Arachnera (sp?) to eat. There should be some humans kept alive, used as a food source so that the Arachnera don’t starve. If they eat everyone on the continent, then they’ll have to turn on the demihumans, and that would just be boring. The monsters will starve themselves out if the protag continues killing literally everyone she comes across.

But again, it’s good schlock, and if I have the money for it, after I finish kumoko I might pick the second one up. Depends on my mood.

2- Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao

I really loved this one. I can see why people called it a “primal scream of a book”--the rage was definitely there. I read the whole thing on the first day i bought it in maybe 3-4 hours. A few days later I went back and read it over more slowly, but still finished it in about two days. It was that good.

I had been wanting to read some good villain protagonists for reference for my own book and Iron Widow hit the spot with that. I think the main mistake people keep making in their criticism is that they think Zetian is supposed to be the good guy, here--she’s not. Yes, her ideals and morals are good--feminism is not a bad thing, and her country/empire is definitely sexist and corrupt. But the way she goes about it, she’s undoubtedly a villain, and the whole thing about how she’s unempathetic and tears down the other women around her? That’s on purpose. It shows that her understanding of feminism is still very limited, still very shaped by the society that she grew up in. She has to put herself above others as some kind of authority that’s always right, because she can’t accept or understand why or how some women have carved out their own place within the system even with all of its failures.

Zetian’s actions don’t make her a hero, even if its in pursuit of a good goal. And that’s fantastic villain protagonist writing.

Now, for my complaints. As I do have a few, even as much as I loved the book.

First: the worldbuilding is very lax. There’s not really a whole lot described about the world and most of the story is focused on the plot. It could be because of the limited space YA books have, but I’ve read other YA SFF that has more worldbuilding than this. The Chinese-coding is done well--there’s no way to read it as anything other than a Chinese-inspired world. But the part that makes it Sci-Fi--the mecha, the magic system, the way their society works on levels other than the sexism and the pilot system--is barely there. The magic system isn’t really explained--there’s qi, everyone has it, and there’s different types. But the colors that correspond to those elements only come up in off-hand remarks, leaving me to have to puzzle out which means what. Someone who doesn’t have a good knowledge of Chinese mythology and spirituality wouldn’t guess that Water qi would be black. And if it’s something that Zhao made up, then that’s even more of a reason to have a space to sit down and explain these things.

Second, I would have loved for a character that served as a foil to Zetian’s limited views on what feminism means. Maybe she comes from a similar place as Zetian, comes to similar conclusions, but goes about it in a way that’s far more heroic. She doesn’t tear other women down, she raises them up alongside her, and serves as an antithesis to every way Zetian positions herself as the ultimate authority of What Is Good For All Women. It would drive Zetian crazy, and give her a rival in the way that many mecha anime have rival pilots. I think that would be interesting to explore, and maybe the author could include something like that in the next book, who knows.

Third, I really did not like the ending. It felt like a cop-out. I don’t dislike the Hunduns being native to the planet and the humans being imperialists, that wasn’t what I disliked. It was mostly the stuff about the Gods, how they are apparently some higher-tech puppet masters manipulating every little thing about Zetian’s society. That just robs the villains of their agency, robs the system of its agency, and the reveal that Li Shimin is alive robs him of his heroic sacrifice and how Zetian and Yizhi’s characters could have developed from that loss. It was almost like Zhao was scared to kill him off in fear that it would ruin the poly aspect of the book--which, I don’t think it would. Zetian and Shimin were at each other’s throats nearly the whole book--can you really say they were that invested in each other? Zetian and Yizhi could have moved on and added someone else to their polycule, maybe even expanding to more than three. I think Shimin’s character arc finishes quite nicely with his heroic sacrifice, and having the Gods not only be agency-robbing manipulators for a whole society but also rob Zetian and Shimin’s agency as characters really ruins everything else that came before for me.

I might still pick up the second book if it comes out. I’ll have to wait and see when it does, maybe read some reviews when it drops. Goodreads is toxic as hell though, so I’ll probably buy it anyway to form my own opinions.

3 - Wheel of Time #1 by Robert Jordan

Between forcing myself to finish Wheel of Time and DNFing Eragon #2, I think those two books really killed my ability to enjoy reading and that’s why I had that long slump. About 50% of WoT could have been cut and it would have been a better and much shorter book. The beginning and ending were fine, maybe even good or great. The middle? A complete slog. I’m not putting myself through that for 13 MORE BOOKS. My read-through of WoT ends here.

Also, watched the first episode of the show after finishing the book. Do Not Like the ways they cast some of the characters and how they changes things. They killed off fucking Nynaeve, and she’s a main character. You just don’t do that in an adaptation. also, making Perrin Black has serious connotations given the whole wolf-thing (read: stereotyping Black people as being “animalistic”), and giving him a nameless girlfriend just to kill her off in the same episode (by his own hand, no less!) has even more, especially since she’s white. And I don’t think I even need to get into Padan Fain and why him being Black is a seriously Bad Look.

That’s all I’m saying about WoT. People who’ve read more of the series have already covered the weird gender relations stuff better than I could, just go browse r/Fantasy if you ant some examples. Moving on.

4 - Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

I didn’t like Gideon the Ninth.

It was boring. the plot didn’t get rolling until 187 or so pages into the book. Most of it was spend dicking around in the house and Harrow not telling Gideon important things that conveniently left the reader out of the loop until very far into the book. Too many words were wasted on description of the environment and not enough on worldbuilding. I couldn’t read the glossary until the end because I didn’t want to get spoiled on the ending, and even the glossary have terms that aren’t explained at all in the book (seriously, what the hell is the River? that literally never came up and I’m supposed to know???). the magic is basically only described in the glossary and nowhere else.

Also, I know it’s a series about necromancy but I’m tired of every last book being Bury Your Gays for no reason. Gideon’s arc wasn’t even satisfactorily filled by dying--she was literally abused by the Ninth all her life and even ended up dead because of them. Harrow herself agrees on this by the end of it. A much better arc would have had Gideon able to escape the Ninth once the stuff at Canaan House was over. Not literally giving everything she had and more to the people who made her entire life a living hell.

I probably should have realized this considering that the Serendipity Gospels made my eyes glaze over when I was younger and I only ever visited the fic to look at the pretty pictures, but the pseudo-intellectual way of writing really grated on my nerves. I get that that’s just Tamsyn Muir’s style, and I should have expected that, but goddamn if it didn’t remind me of the way everyone in the Homestuck fandom writes about purple-blood juggalo culture when the POV is on Gamzee.

Also, I called the villain as soon as Gideon started interacting with her regularly. I thought of it as a joke, but then it ended up being real. So either I’m really good at picking up on foreshadowing or Muir was being extremely obvious about it. I only wish it wasn’t the terminally ill woman.

That reminds me, I was only able to read the Fifth and Eighth houses as adults, but you’re telling me only the Fourth and the the necromancer for the Eighth were all teenagers? They all read like teenagers, except the Fifth and the Eighth. Eighth’s necro did not read as a 16 year old at all. He should have been an adult like everyone else, Muir obviously wrote him that way. I know most of them are in their twenties, but even a twenty year old does not act 16. That’s like, four years of maturity growing by leaps and bounds right there. They really shouldn’t have read as teens.

I feel like my review of Gideon was more negative than I meant for it to be, but I really did not like this book. I only binged the last few bits today because I wanted it to be over with already, and was profoundly disappointed by the ending. I might catch some flak by some fans for how negative I was, and I want to tell you beforehand that I don’t care if you liked it. This is my personal opinion and I’m allowed to think differently about books than you do. It’s not like I’m trying to say only my way of reading it is good--that’s not what I mean at all. But I genuinely did not like the book, and will not be picking up the second or third. That’s all.

Next up on my list to finish is Elantris, as I’m part-way through reading that and need to finish it. Then I want to get started on Mark Lawrence’s Broken Empire series, since I read a sample in Barnes & Noble when I was picking up Gideon the Ninth and the prose was so edgy I laughed a little, so I think I can handle its darkness fine. Even if the prose wasn’t funny to me, I wanted to read it as a way of dipping my toe into the waters of dark fantasy, since I need comp titles badly. If I can handle this, I can probably get a good baseline for recs for series of similar levels of darkness and therefore have an idea of what to read. r/Fantasy has actually been rather unhelpful on that front given the way everyone recs Martin, Rothfuss, Sanderson, Malazan, and Abercrombie for everything. So having an idea of what a sample of this genre is like will be good, I think.

That’s all for now. This post is rather long so I’m glad I put it under a readmore--and if anyone reads these, know that I want to continue posting about the books I read. I don’t make promises that I will do it, but I do want to keep doing so.

#phoenix says boring stuff #reading tag #spoilers #long post

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sakusbo · 3 years

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in honor of international women’s day i will no longer be watching anime. tomorrow we start up again tho

#this is a joke pls #yes i know not every anime is sexist i don’t care #yes i am a woman yes i watch anime and examine its sexist tropes #we exist #anime #anime meme #anime jokes #hxh #yeah i’m looking at you #international women's day #bo’s posts

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bnha-more-like-bnh-gay · 3 years

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Rarepair headcanons because I am ignoring my problems

Serodeku:

Izuku reenacts the Spider-Man movies with Sero. Izuku is MJ. They also alternate being Spider-Man sometimes

They skate together

They get very protective when people call their boyfriend “plain”

They play dnd together

Sero tries to make sure that izuku gets some rest

They’re both kinda insecure, izuku more than sero, but still; and they make sure to reassure each other as often as possible

Sero likes listening to Izuku’s ramblings and finds them cute. He has told izuku this, only for the poor boy to imitate a tomato

After Izuku has been particularly reckless, Sero takes advantage of his quirk, wraps Izuku in bubble wrap, and tapes it there

Tokodeku:

Jocknerd bf and goth bf, we love to see it

Tokoyami teaches izuku how to sword fight

They start a dnd club at U.A.

Izuku talks to dark shadow a lot, Dark Shadow approves of him, and has claimed the spot of best man at their wedding

Izuku comes up with ideas to help Tokoyami gain control with Dark Shadow

Dark Shadow is very protective over Izuku, no matter how many times Tokoyami tells him that he can take care of himself, Dark Shadow will put himself between Izuku and any form of danger as often as possible

Dekoyama??? Aoyama/izuku:

Aoyama gives him makeovers, obviously

Aoyama drags izuku to the mall and tries to revamp some of his wardrobe, but he actually finds the “pants” and “flannel” type shirts cute

They help each other train their quirks

Aoyama is trilingual, and teaching izuku English and French.

Izuku always brings Aoyama home some new cheese

Y’all, I love them so much. There needs to be more aodeku content

Monoshinsou:

They have people watching dates. They come up with stories for the people they’re watching; their job, family, background, etc.

They judge people together

They call each other “love”

They’re both dramatic bastards, who will flop onto their lovers lap and proclaim their death due to a minor inconvenience

They jokingly sh*t-talk class A

Shinsou said “I love you” first, and it was because Monoma brought him coffee to class

Monoyama:

Like monoshinsou, they’re both dramatic bastards, who will flop onto their lovers lap and proclaim their death due to a minor inconvenience

They go shopping together and pick out the most dramatic pieces of clothing for each other

I love them so much, please 😭✋

They have tea parties every week, where they sh*t talk everyone else and gossip

They are both fancy bastards, and they wear the most exquisite outfits to go grocery shopping, and the outshine everyone

They both actually make clothing, they’ll go fabric shopping together. Gift exchanges are often articles of clothing that they’ve made for each other

Momomei:

They work on gear together!!!

Momo makes sure that mei gets some sleep

Mei helps redesign momo’s suit

They often work together with izuku to work in gear and such

They actually got together after izuku introduced them. He had been working on gear with mei, and studying with momo and he thought they’d hit it off. He was correct

Shintsuyu:

Dude they’d be so cute

Tsu is a vent gremlin, and you can’t change my mind. So she and shinsou will play a game where they try to find each other. Tsu is in the vent and shinsou is in the classrooms. Shinsou will try to find whichever vent she’s in, or she’ll find whichever classroom he’s in, in 20 minutes or less

I always headcanoned tsu as a dog person, so they’d have two cats and two dogs, and a bunny that they named Deku

They like comparing their friends to animals, hence the bunny, Deku

Kamideku:

Kaminari is a flirt, and izuku does n o t know how to handle it

Kaminari likes listening to izuku’s ramblings, and can keep up with them. He’ll ask questions on things too, and Izuku has never felt more appreciated

I don’t know why I feel like they’d have so many animals, but I do. They’d have so many, man. Three cats, two dogs, four sugar gliders, a hamster

Adhd power couple. They hyperfixated on complimentary things at the same time one time

Kaminari tutors izuku in English, and izuku turots kami in some other subjects. He’s also teaching kami JSL on the side. Kaminari has a live of languages

Momochako:

Study dates, Momo asks ochako to quiz her a lot

Ochako takes to floating momo’s things when she wants attention. Especially when Momo is studying. She makes a game out of how many things she can float until the other girl notices

Uraraka’s confidence does wonders for momo’s. Uraraka always makes sure to reassure momo that she is strong and that she can do this

Momo makes Uraraka whatever her heart desires. Uraraka blushes all the time, and momo takes great pride in getting her girlfriend to blush

Minatoru:

Mina clings to everyone, but especially to toru

They give each other stuffed animals so often. They’ll go to the store to get food, and come back with three stuffed animals that reminded them of each other

Please, they’re so cute 😭✋

They will play hide and seek, I stand by this.

Mina helps toru design a new costume. I hate hers, it’s horrible, and sexist, and not suitable for a fucking child

Toru says that pink is her favorite color

They flirt with each other all the time. Half the class thinks it’s cute, half of them used to think it was cute.

Iidamomo:

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, but study dates. they quiz each other, and it actually gets pretty competitive

They also have rage room dates. I will not budge on this. Iida tried to murder someone, and I am excited to see momo finally snap. She deserves it

They alternate paying for dates, don’t try me.

The go hiking a lot

They started liking each other after one late night, both having nightmares. Momo had tea, and offered some to Iida. They talked until the early hours of the morning

They can’t flirt. They try. But they’re horrible at it. They’ll compliment each other all day long, but they cannot flirt.

KIRIDEKU, MY BELOVED:

Y’all,,, y’all, I love them so much

They train together, obviously

They ran into each other one night in the common room after both having nightmares. They talked about middle school, how they were both bullied, izuku’s quirk coming in late, katsuki being abusive, kiri being bullied because his quirk wasn’t “cool.” After that, they were practically inseparable.

They started going on dates, not that either of them knew they were dates. The entire class knew, so did the teachers, so did the rest of U.A. Kirishima picked up on it first after a comment from Mina, he had is realization.

So, he started courting Izuku. Not thag izuku realized this. He brought him flowers on most ‘dates,’ he bought him hero action figures whenever he could, he complimented him until Izuku was red in the face (which was honestly very easy.) Still, izuku remained ignorant to the fact that he was indeed dating Kirishima.

The final tipping point, was due to Uraraka’s help. She was quite tired of watching the two of them pine for each other. It was amusing for the first couple months, watching Kirishima try so hard, and Deku being totally oblivious. However, she took pity on her friends after a while.

So, Uraraka devised a devilish plan to get the two together. She involved Mina, Sero, and kaminari in this plan. What was the plan, you ask? Oh, simply to trap the two in one room until they broke through izuku’s obliviousness.

Kirishima finally “straight” up admitted his feelings, to which Izuku had the sudden realization of “oh my gods, have we been dating this whole time??” Yes, Izuku. Yes you have.

They have two anniversaries after that.

Let’s be honest, they are really, annoyingly, horrifically lovey dovey. Kirishima brags about having “the manliest and bestest boyfriend in the world.” Izuku flaunts his many PowerPoint presentations on how talented and incredible Kirishima is

Uraraka doesn’t know if she did the right thing by helping them. She is so tired

Tsujirou:

Jirou makes playlists for tsu

The few sane ones in class A, I swear

They go on walks in the rain as often as they can

They go for dates in the bookstore too. They each pick out an album and a book for the other to listen to and read

Y’all, they make so much sense togetherrrrr, I’m love them 🥺

Jirou started liking tsu after the crew saved bakugou. Jirou sat with tsu after momo, Iida, kirishima, Todoroki, and izuku apologized and sat with her. They had movie night, and Jirou joined the Bakugou saving crew and tsu with taking well into the night. She just appreciated how much tsu cared

Tsu started liking Jirou after she helped Iida, momo, and izuku try to keep the class in order. She appreciated how diplomatic and calm she was

Jirou would talk to izuku all night long about how gay she was, and how adorable tsu was. So, izuku decided to try and suggest ways for Jirou to ask her out.

She did not end up getting to ask her out though, as Tsu walked up to her the next morning f and asked if she wanted to go on a date. Jirou said yes. Izuku cried

Izujirou:

They make playlists for each other

They go for runs on the beach a lot

They both have insomnia, and often spend time making blanket forts and talking, or FaceTiming and listening to music

Jirou walks into the common room once a week looking for new music. She started liking Izuku after he made a playlist for her for one of these occasions.

They’re both quite awkward when it comes to romance, but neither of them will shy away from facing the truth. So, Jirou made izuku a playlist filled with love songs that reminded her of him and sent it to him. Sadly, izuku is dense as hell.

So, then Jirou wrote a love song and told izuku that the song was for him. Sadly, izuku is dense as hell.

So, then Jirou write analysis about izuku’s quirk for him. Sadly, izuku is dense as hell

So, then, after thinking that Jirou had done so much for him, izuku made her a playlist filled with love songs. Jirou took this to mean that izuku had finally picked up on her feelings, and accepted them.

So, they started to go on dates. Not that izuku knew this, as he is dense as hell. All leading up to izuku finally confessing his feelings on one of their ‘dates,’ to which Jirou responded, “dude, we’re already dating? Aren’t we? I- I thought that was obvious??”

May this awkward couple be forever blessed

Tokoyama:

Goth/prep boyfriends, we love to see it

At least once a day, Aoyama will proclaim that Tokoyami “shines almost as bright as he does, in his fabulous emo way”

They sword fight, and come up with really dramatic scenarios and scenes that they’re in

They bond over being in the izucrew and their shared love of swords. Aoyama took fencing classes in middle school, and Tokoyami got into sword fighting after watching it in pirates of the Caribbean as a young child. He is self taught and watched countless videos on the art of sword fighting

Tokoyami asked Aoyama our by dramatically presenting him with a dagger and going “will you accompany me on a formal outing as my lover?”

Shinyama:

They flirt constantly

No really, it’s getting quite annoying. Someone please stop them.

They both plop down in random areas and proclaim their deaths, the difference between them, is that Aoyama will burst into shinsou’s room, and yell “love, I’ve been murdered. Mourn for me” while plopping down on shinsou’s lap. Shinsou can be found laying face down outside aoyama’s door, and when Aoyama goes to open the door, he just goes “I’ve been murdered.”

^^ one time, shinsou did a very fun Halloween prank for this, where he poured fake blood all over himself for Aoyama to find him an hour later, asleep.

Nap dates. Aoyama get glitter all over shinsou’s room

Iiyama:

Aoyama enjoys making Iida blush, obviously. But he takes joy in doing it specifically when class is about to start. Aizawa is tired of his shit

Here is how I think an iiyama conversation might go:

Aoyama: I ask for one thing in this relationship-

Iida: Aoyama, you know that’s a lie-

Aoyama: for my boyfriend to carry me around all day-

Iida: Aoyama, I cannot feasibly do this with class-

Aoyama: and I don’t think that’s too much to ask for 😤

Anyway, Aoyama got carried around all day that day, despite Iida’s blush and Aizawa’s eye twitch

Everyone in the izucrew is close, but Iida and Aoyama started to get close after Iida told the crew about Stain. Aoyama wanted Iida to know that he wasn’t alone, and that he wanted to help him. So he started packing extra cheese for lunch and giving it to Iida. Iida was very confused at first. But this was Aoyama trying to court him. This was only made apparent by momo and Jirou telling Iida that this was aoyama’s attempt at expressing romantic interest.

Aoyama flirts with everyone, that’s just who he is. But with Iida? Oh it was tenfold. The poor boy was red in the face constantly. Aoyama was a persistent little bugger too, following him around and calling him ‘mon amour’

Kirikamideku:

My dearest traffic light trio, I’m love them

They train together, and kiri and kami always appreciate izuku’s analysis snd ideas

Kiri falls even more in love with izuku and kaminari when they go off on rants. Izuku rants and kami can keep up with him so he asks questions about it. Kiri loves to watch his boyfriends go on rants, I don’t make the rules, but I do enforce them

They started to get closer after kami and kiri found bakugou causing a ptsd flashback (could be on purpose of an accident, up to the reader.) they stated with him and tried to talk him through it. After this, izuku started to tell them about having been a “late bloomer” and being bullied, etc. (I don’t know, man; I tend to over share after flashbacks and after panic attacks)

Izuku tutors them in several subjects, but kami tutors them in English. Kiri just falls in love with his smart boyfriends

Izuku is teaching kami JSL and kami is helping izuku with English and Italian (personal headcanon that Italian has been one of kami’s special interests) kiri loves to listen to them, and finds it relaxing and calming to hear them do this. When he has panic attacks, he’ll ask them to tutor each other in different languages

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young-dumb-and-vaccinated · 3 years

Note

Omg can I please get a hannibal x a shy girl reader ? Like he’s really possessive of her and she doesn’t know how to handle it but she likes him so they date??

Sorry this took so long, anon. I’ve been bouncing ideas around and this one in particular, I believe, fits your request. Y/n feels out of place among Hannibal’s fancy friends and it becomes even more obvious when he abandons her at a party.

Trigger warnings: social anxiety, sexual harassment, overstimulation

You and Hannibal had an agreement about large gatherings. He could only bring you to a party if you had a week's notice and at least three uninterrupted hours of gaming time prior to the event.

For this event, you needed a solid six.

One of the major Maryland universities was awarding a lucrative research grant to a student of clinical psychology, and every influential name in the industry was expected to be there. As a recent college grad with a bachelor's in business you didn't know what to do with, you couldn't imagine a less welcoming environment if you tried. You couldn't fit into their world and more importantly, you didn't want to. But the thought of being noticeably different in any situation was twice as terrifying. So you spent the whole week repeating your mantra; blend in, be quiet and make it through the night.

But Hannibal had different plans for you.

Halfway through the week, just when you'd pushed the party out of your mind, Hannibal presented you with a gift.

"What's the occasion?" You asked. You hoped that if you pretended not to know, it would just magically go away.

"I brought you something to wear on Friday." Hannibal answered, hanging the garment bag up on the bureau. "You know I'll take any excuse to dress you up."

He unzipped the bag and placed a black silk dress into your arms. "Try it on so I have time to get it altered if it needs it."

The material was cool to the touch and outlined your figure so perfectly, you felt even a little naked. Hannibal, of course, loved this. You were his own personal Venus de Milo. His goddess and his muse.

“Yes, that will do nicely.” He observed, looking at you hungrily.

“Seems a little short for a such a sophisticated event, doesn’t it?” You raised an eyebrow. The answer was yes and he knew it. He was very deliberate in everything he did. “I don’t want to come off the wrong way.”

“And what way would that be, darling?” He asked, not taking his eyes off your figure.

“I mean--” You searched for the right words. “It’s a gathering of the Mid-Atlantic’s most esteemed academics, I feel like, in a dress like this, I might be seen as, well, a...”

“A prostitute?” Hannibal finished, choosing a much nicer word than you would have.

You looked down. “Yeah. It just doesn’t seem all that appropriate.”

Hannibal approached you and lifted your chin slightly to look into his eyes. “Many Christian denominations believe that Mary Magdalene was a prostitute, yet she was Christ’s right-hand woman. She was first to see him crucified and first to witness his resurrection.”

“Dr. Lecter,” You smirked. “I never would have taken you for a religious man.”

“Goodness, no.” He shook his head. “But any reputable academic is expected to be familiar with biblical literature and its many contradictions and impossibilities.”

“What does that have to do with me?”

“You are my divine feminine, Miss [L/N].” Hannibal said in a low whisper. “And I want everyone to see it. If they see a common whore, it would only be a reflection of their own jealousy.”

Hannibal's rationalization almost made you forget about your fear of being noticed. Almost. It all came rushing back when you arrived at the event. Not one person your age was in attendance. The women wore long, flowing evening gowns that reached the floor. The length of your skirt alone guaranteed that all eyes were on you. In a simple black silk dress, you looked the very model of high society. Silk was a sign of luxury, and Hannibal wanted everyone to know that you were a woman of means. His woman, to be precise. That was why he brought you to these functions in the first place. To put you in a dress short enough for any wandering eyes so see the smattering of love bites running up your inner thighs. He wanted everyone in his field to know that you were completely and entirely his.

You realized too late that this was all his little exercise in showing you off.

Everyone seemed to know him. He only knew a handful of people by name, and you didn't know anyone.

"And who is this delightful young woman?" A woman with a light southern twang in her voice asked, looking at you as if you were a caged animal on display.

"I wasn't aware you had a daughter, Dr. Lecter." The young man beside her laughed. "Or is she your side piece?"

Your eyes scanned the room for the nearest exit. It would be unbecoming to make a scene, so you plotted a way to slip out quietly.

“Darling, meet Dr. Charlotte Ramset and her TA, David.” Hannibal introduced, notably ignoring the young man. “Dr. Ramset, this is my intended, [F/N] [L/N].”

"I didn't realize she was also a ventriloquist!" The lady, presumably Dr. Ramset, joked. You'd heard that one a million times. She looked at you. "Tell me about yourself, sweetie. What are you studying?"

The lady was old enough to be your grandmother and reeked of too much perfume.

"I graduated last year." You said, quietly. "With a BA in business."

"See, there's a good woman." David added. "Only speaks when spoken to. They don't make ’em like you anymore, baby."

Hannibal tightened his grip on your hand. "On the contrary, David. See, Miss [L/N] is quite a bit like myself. She only dignifies those she deems worthy with a response. There's nothing wrong with being selective."

The lady laughed at David's expense and smiled at you. "Good for you."

You smiled back just a little, not ready to bring your guard down yet. "I've had to deal with more than enough. It's best not to engage."

"Oh, I know, I know." The lady said, shaking her head. "That's how it is for us educated gals. Always having to put up with pigs. See, I went to college in the sixties, so I can tell you some real stories."

This was a new experience. Talking to Hannibal's friends and having them listen to you was something you never considered possible. Now, you were one of the educated gals. You were just about to strike up a conversation with this woman, when the man next to her decided someone desperately needed to play devil’s advocate.

“I find that sexist, actually.” He cut in. “Not all men are pigs.”

The silence following his comment was deafening and you wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Whatever progress Hannibal and Dr. Ramset made breaking down your defenses was completely reversed and you were ready to retreat.

Dr. Ramset took a long sip of wine and adjusted her shawl. “David, none of us said anything about men, you drew that conclusion yourself.”

“I mean, look at you.” David gestured to your dress. You knew exactly where this was going and you wished you could just disappear. “You’re basically asking for it.”

Dr. Ramset glared at him. “David, that’s enough.”

“I’m just stating facts.” David crossed his arms. “If you dress like a slut, what do you expect?”

Dr. Ramset and Hannibal seemed to have an entire conversation through prolonged eye contact before one of them broke the silence.

"Charlotte, I hate to have to excuse myself so soon, but the president of the university is expecting me." Hannibal said, dropping your hand. Your heart hit the floor when you realized that he would be throwing you to the wolves.

"Of course, Dr. Lecter." She nodded. "Duty calls."

"I trust you'll keep an eye on my beloved [F/N] in my absence?" His voice hardened. The severity in his tone frightened you.

Dr. Ramset didn't seem disturbed or even surprised in the slightest by his gently threatening demand. "Of course."

"Thank you. And [F/N]?" He said, pressing his lips to the back of your hand. "I won't be going far. Please, try to have fun."

You tried not to look affronted, but you were going to have a long talk with Hannibal when you got home.

"I'm just saying what everyone is thinking." David continued, his inability to take a hint positively astounding. "Why don't you respect yourself enough to cover up, [F/N]? You have a boyfriend!"

Your eyes scrolled across the room looking for any sign of Hannibal, but he was gone. Dr. Ramset finished her wine and stared at her TA with the resigned disgust of a death row jailer.

"Any other thoughts?" She said, snatching a fresh glass of wine. You looked at her with a clear expression of discomfort.

"Come on, do you see any other woman in the room dressed so provocatively?" David's voice broke mid-sentence. "No. Because they're educated enough to know that real men don't care about their bodies."

The hotel clerk approached the group. "Mr. Hosmer, there's a call for you."

David narrowed his eyes. "Uh, what?"

"Someone is on the phone asking for you." The clerk repeated. "Says it's an emergency."

David shrugged. "Fine."

Just when you thought you would be rid of him, at least for a moment, he planted his hands on your hips in attempt to "get by" you. His touch was like that of an insect crawling across your skin; unexpected, filthy and leaving you squeamish.

"I'm so sorry about that." Dr. Ramset's words echoed in your ears, but you didn't really hear them. You were too focused on grounding yourself to process what she was saying.

“Dr. Ramset?” You said, quietly. “Which one is the president of the university?”

She glanced at a tall woman in a dark blue suit, surrounded by equally important looking businesspeople. You followed her eyes. “That’s Dr. Mary Hosmer.”

Your ounce of righteous fury was squelched in two seconds when the reality of having to talk to someone, especially someone of stature, set in. You looked sheepishly back at Dr. Ramset.

“Could you please ask her where Hannibal went?” You whispered. “I’d really like him to take me home now.”

Her face turned sympathetic. “Of course, [F/N]. Stay right there.”

You nodded. “Thank you.”

Dr. Ramset crossed the floor and politely greeted the president. You took a few slow, calculated steps closer, just to get in earshot.

“Pardon me, but, have you seen Dr. Hannibal Lecter?” Dr. Ramset said, casually.

“I wasn’t aware Hannibal had even arrived yet.” The president answered. “I haven’t seen him.”

Your eyes widened. You fought the urge to freeze, but you had to move back before Dr. Ramset knew you’d been eavesdropping. You heard everything you needed and rushed back to where she’d left you.

“Dr. Hosmer said he stepped out.” She told you upon her return. “He should be back soon.”

You tried not to show that you knew she was lying. “...oh.”

“Would you like me to stay with you until he comes back?”

You knew you were completely on your own. You didn’t know what was going on, but you had an inkling that it had to do with the president and David sharing a last name. All you knew for certain was that you couldn’t trust anybody.

“Don’t bother.” You shook your head. You took off for the door, but Dr. Ramset grabbed your wrist.

“I’m sorry, [F/N].” Her voice dropped to a low whisper. She didn’t look mad, but afraid. “But Dr. Lecter told me to stay with you. Please. Don’t make this harder for me.”

You recalled how seriously threatening Hannibal’s request was. She wasn’t answering to the president of the university. She was answering to Hannibal. You didn’t know whether to be scared or relieved.

“Right.” You conceded, stepping back in. “I’m sorry.”

The actual award ceremony was much longer than it needed to be, and it dragged on even longer knowing there was no reason for you to be there. Other than that, you awkwardly followed Dr. Ramset around the party like a lost puppy the whole time. You were back to your original plan: blend in, be quiet and make it through the night.

Just when you thought the party would never end, someone tapped you on the arm. You turned around, hoping with every fiber of your being that it was Hannibal, but it wasn’t. A tall woman in a dark blue suit stared back at you.

“I’m sorry to bother you, miss.” She said, apologetically. “But have you seen my son? I saw him talking to you and Dr. Charlotte earlier, perhaps he told you where he was going?”

You’d pushed that man completely out of your mind. You shook your head. “He left to take a phone call and I haven’t seen him since.”

A hand found your shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Dr. Hosmer, but I believe I saw the boy on his phone out in the lobby.”

“Dr. Lecter!” The president’s eyes widened. “How nice of you to finally join us.”

“...Yes, I believe he left right after making unwarranted comments towards my intended here.” Hannibal ran his hand down your arm lovingly.

“Well, boys will be boys.” The president chuckled. “Maybe you should teach your girlfriend not to wear such revealing clothes.”

Hannibal smiled and pulled you in protectively. “Whatever the case, I hope you find him very soon.”

Her phone chimed in her back pocket. “Oh, that’s him right now.”

“Wonderful.” Hannibal said. “[F/N] and I will be taking our leave.”

He hurried you towards the door, his hand tight around yours. A blood-curdling scream came from behind you. You looked back for just a moment and found the president hollering in pain and falling to her knees.

“Let’s go, darling.” Hannibal tugged at your arm. “They don’t deserve your presence.”

“Hannibal, I swear.” You said, once you were in the safety of the car. “If you killed every man who looked at me like a piece of meat, sooner or later, there won’t be any men left.”

Hannibal smirked and reached for his seatbelt. “Wonderful.”

#hannibal lecter #hannibal nbc #hannibal x reader #hannibal x you #anon ask #anon request

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immaturityofthomasastruc · 3 years

Text

The Immaturity of Thomas Astruc Masterpost

General Information

An Introduction…

What else has Thomas Astruc done?

What not to do when interacting with Astruc online (AKA, NO DEATH THREATS)

How did I get into Miraculous Ladybug?

My thoughts on the Season 5 Bible leak

Analysis of Astruc’s Online Behavior

#1: Chloe’s “Damnation Arc” That Was Totally Planned From the Start

#2: “Kung Food isn’t racist at all, why would you think that?”

#3: “I’ve done more for the entire comic book industry than anyone in 30 years!”

#4: There’s totally character development, you guys! You just don’t see it!

#5: The One With Astruc’s Self-Insert

#6: “How can you think a character named Ghetto Blaster could possibly be racist?”

#7: “Stop being mean to me on Twitter! I’ve never been mean to any of you!”

#8: “You want Adrien to get more focus? You sexist pig!”

#9: “Ladybug can’t be akumatized because I said so!”

#10: Felix, Part 1: Introduction

#10: Felix, Part Two: The Episode Itself

#11: “The New York special was supposed to be confusing! There wasn’t any cheating involved!”

#12: “Alya isn’t a bad friend! Is Krillin a bad friend for losing a fight to Majin Buu?”

#13: Return of the “Toxic” Chloe Fans

#14: “We’re introducing a new villain to the show! Wait, you think it’s anything other than a new form for Hawkmoth? You’re overthinking things, dude!”

#15: “The Simpsons doesn’t have a consistent timeline, so why should Miraculous Ladybug?”

#16: “I never insult people back! That’s it, you’re getting blocked!” (500 Follower Special)

#17: LGBT Representation in Miraculous Ladybug (Certain facts are wrong/inaccurate, so read at your own risk)

#18: “Adrien isn’t a boring character because he’s perfect! Why do you think people love Superman so much?”

#19: “Fan theories are ridiculous! Why can’t you understand how a Sentimonster works? The show isn’t that complicated!”

#20: “’Simpleman’ is the most meta episode of the entire show, and you’re just like a stupid old man if you don’t get it!”

#21: The Rising Sun Flag Controversy

#22: “Constructive Criticism Doesn’t Actually Exist! Only People Who Know a Lot About Animation Can Criticize My Show!”

#23: “The Miraculous Ladybug Movie May Give You What You Want, but My Show Gives You What You Actually Need! You Don’t Work in Television, so You Wouldn’t Understand.”

Other Stuff Astruc Has Said Online

The Time He Said His Team Had Better Character Designers Than Pixar

The Time He Criticized Wonder Woman 1984 for Things That Can Easily Be Applied to Miraculous Ladybug

The Time He Said He Based Marinette’s Parents off Himself and One of His Former Girlfriends

The Time He Acted Like His Show Was Morally Complex While Condemning One of His Characters As Pure Evil

The Time He Compared an “Antagonist” to Donald Trump (Yes, Seriously)

The Time He Blatantly Admitted Every Episode Has To Have Marinette Make a Mistake and Not Any of the Other Characters

The Time He Claimed Fans Were in Denial for Not Viewing One of His Characters the Exact Same Way He Viewed Her

The Time He Insulted Fans for Not Caring About One of His Characters Even Though He Barely Gave Her Any Focus or Development

The Time He Implied His Self-Insert in One Episode Was a Way To Make Fun of Himself and Not an Attempt To Get More Sympathy From Viewers Outside of the Show

The Time He Dismissed Fanfiction As “Not Real Writing”

The Time He Hinted a Character Was on the Autism Spectrum Without Actually Saying Who It Was or Even Bothering To Do an Episode About It

The Time He Heavily Implied the Character He Has an Irrational Hatred for Is a Complete Idiot Just to Give Her Another Bad Character Trait

The Time He Said Having an Obsessive Crush on Someone Counts as a Personality Trait

The Time He Compared Fans of One of His Characters To Abuse Apologists (OBVIOUS TRIGGER WARNING FOR DISCUSSIONS OF ABUSE HERE)

The Time He Yelled at People Online for Three Straight Days Because They Liked One of His Characters That He Hated

The Time He Dismissed the Dynamic of Opposites Attracting As Toxic Without Realizing That’s Literally What the Appeal of the Main Couple in His Show Is

The Time He Continued To Yell at People for Liking One of His Characters He Doesn’t Like While Implying She Isn’t the Victim of a Troubled Childhood and Should Be Treated as Evil Incarnate

The Time He Cited the Works of a French Psychologist To Explain Why a Character Is So Evil While Saying It Doesn’t Apply to Her Sister

The Time He Said He Wasn’t Racist Because Some of the Main Heroes in His Show Were People of Color

The Time He Said One Character’s Less Than Noble Actions Could Be Excused Because It Was His Superhero Alter Ego Doing It While Saying That Logic Didn’t Excuse What the Main Villain Does

The Time He Blamed a Character for Causing the Apocalyse Just for Giving Someone a Hat

The Time He Said That His Show Always Has To Revolve Around Romance

The Time He Blamed Two Characters of Color Having Whiter Skin in Their Hero Forms on an Animation Error

The Time He Acted as an Expert on the Climate Change Debate

The Time He Called Fans “Toxic” for Misinterpreting One of His Tweets About a Character While Clarifying It Wasn’t What They Thought It Was (Trigger Warning for Discussions of Incest)

The Time He Shot Down a Fanfic Writer’s Idea To Give a Character a Different Miraculous Because of “Symbolism”

The Time He Said the Main Villain Can’t Try Any of His Plans Again Because They All Failed Once (Ignoring Someone in the Show Was Akumatized 72 Times)

The Time He Claimed Every Akuma Victim Isn’t Brainwashed

The Time He Blamed Adrien for Being Uncomfortable When His Girlfriend Was Violating His Personal Space

The Time He Downplayed Marinette’s Obsession With Adrien

The Time He Ignored How Overpowered He Made a Single Miraculous

The Time He Claimed His Show Was More Popular Than Pokemon

IOTA Reviews (In Chronological Order)

Season 4

#1: Truth

#2: Lies

#3: Gang of Secrets

#4: Mr. Pigeon 72

#5: Psycomedian

#6: Furious Fu

#7: Sole Crusher

#8: Queen Banana

#9: Gabriel Agreste

#10: Mega Leech

#11: Guiltrip

#12: Crocoduel

#13: Optigami

#14: Sentibubbler

#15: Glaciator 2

#16: Hack-San

#17: Rocketear

#18: Wishmaker

#19: Simpleman

#20: Qilin

#21: Dearest Family

#22: Ephemeral

#23: Kuro Neko

#24: Penalteam

#25: Risk

#26: Strikeback

Miraculous Ladybug Season 4 – An Overview

Every Episode of Miraculous Ladybug Season 4 Ranked

Season 5

#1: Evolution

#2: Multiplication

#3: Destruction

#4: Jubilation

#5: Illusion

#6: Determination

#7: Passion

#8: Reunion

#9: Elation

#10/#11: Transmission and Deflagration (The Kwamis’ Choice)

#12: Perfection

#13: Migration

#14: Derision

#15: Intuition

#16: Protection

#17: Adoration

#18: Emotion

#19: Pretension

#20/#21: Revelation and Confrontation

#22/#23: Collusion and Revolution

#24: Representation

#25/#26: Conformation and Re-Creation (The Final Day)

#27: Action

Character Analyses

Master Fu: Master of Failure (200 Follower Special)

Lila Rossi: I’d Say She’s a Good Villain, but Then I’d Be Lying (300 Follower Special)

Gabriel Agreste: Interesting Villain, Horrible Character (400 Follower Special)

Other Miraculous-Related Musings

(Accidental 150 Follower Special) IOTA’s Top 10 Worst Episodes of Miraculous Ladybug (Part 1)

(Accidental 150 Follower Special) IOTA’s Top 10 Worst Episodes of Miraculous Ladybug (Part 2)

(Accidental 150 Follower Special) IOTA’s Top 10 Best (and By That, I Mean Personal Favorite) Episodes of Miraculous Ladybug

IOTA Reviews: Miraculous World: New York - United HeroeZ

What exactly makes “Chameleon” such a controversial episode in the fandom?

The Love Square - How Did It Lose Support In the Fandom? (Late 1000 Follower Special)

The Temp Heroes - Why They’re Not Exactly the Justice League (Late 1500 Follower Special)

IOTA Reviews: Miraculous World: Shanghai - The Legend of Lady Dragon (Late 2000 Follower Special)

Hope Morphin Q&A

#immaturity of thomas astruc #thomas astruc #thomas astruc salt #miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug salt

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taki118 · 4 years

Text

Go Watch the Venture Brothers

So just heard the complete and utter Bullshit news that Adult Swim has cancelled one of (if not the best shows) they have the Venture Bros. This series is one of those shows that for WHATEVER reason never got to the level of fandom Rick and Morty has even though they’ve been at the genre parody game longer and in my opinion better.

The series is about Rusty Venture former boy adventurer and failing super scientist who in an attempt to keep his head above water in debt goes around with his two boys Hank and Dean, and bodyguard Brock on misadventues while various legal archnemisis go after him, such as the Monarch.

So if you never watched or never heard of this 7 season series let me give you a break down on why you should,

1) Art Style & Animation

Venture bros is one of those rare Adult aimed animated series that that really truly tries to utilize their medium to the best of their abilities. Season 1 had like such a small budget and corners had to be cut so it can be a little hard to watch at times.

But with each passing season they get a little better, a little more fluid, go just a little harder and it truly feels rewarding to watch. Like seeing an artist you follow online improve over the years. Like they COULD have stayed with the choppy and stiff animation from season 1 it fit right in with its fellow adult animated shows but it didn’t. They strove for quality to have something that matched the story they were telling.

2) The Writing

Venture Bros has some of the tightest and consistently great writing of ANY serialized show I’ve seen, adult, animated or other wise. Wanna know why? Cause it’s all done by TWO people (save for like one ep each season where one other person is allowed to touch their baby). Yeah TWO people and they work their asses off every season to interject, humor, refrences, parody, plot and character development in equal measure.

3) Character Development

Um yes in case you were wondering that’s right an adult animated show has CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT that holds as the series goes on. Not to give spoilers but characters will go through changes in alignment, relationships will develop and change, some characters will go through negative arcs where they are straight up unbareable for a season before coming out the other side even better than they were before. There is no end of epsiode or even end of season reset. Characters, settings, and dynamics all change over the course of the show and it feels just so god damn good.

4) Story Development

Just like the characters the story of the Venture Bros grows and changes each season. Things that are set up even as early as season one are paid off as the series goes on. Like not to be that bitch but you know how RIck and Morty teases an overarching plot ALL THE TIME but like will often just spit in the face of fans hoping for more than like one episode a season addressing it? Yeahhhhhhh that doesnt happen here, fans are consistently rewarded for putting the time in to rewatch and really think about what happened in the series. Characters that are seen in the background or are just referenced by other characters will be brought in to be recurring characters, things that start off as a small detail or gag will be given larger relevance and each time they do this you get that “OH I remember that from last season! So thats what it was!” The writers WANT you to rewatch, they WANT you to analyze and they WANT you to theorize, and they give you a show that gives back the time you put in.

5) Parody & Reference

This series does a great thing with parody. They make real characters who are just as enjoyable as the characters they parody, they make story lines that both poke fun at the absurdity of the media but shows the writers love for it. So often parody and references are just used to mock the thing but with Venture Bros you feel the love and care so when you know the thing being parodied you can laugh but feel good about laughing cause they are never laughing at a thing maybe you cared for in your youth but rather laughing with it.

And it’s never just one thing. When they parody a thing its often layered with other things to make it even more unique. Scooby-Doo is overlayed with famous criminals, Laura Croft is mixed Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, GI Joe is given the look of the Village People and so on. They never go for the easy joke or reference. Hell theres an episode that starts with them reciting the lyrics to David Bowies Space Oddity for really no reason other than they could. They weave these things in naturally with their setting and characters so nothing feels out of place. Like if you dont catch a reference or parody you dont feel like “I think this isa reference to something?” like a LOT of things do not just adult animated shows. You arent taken out of the moment cause it all feels so natural.

6) The Characters

God damn these characters, I could go on for hours about these characters. From main to one off these are some of the most likeable characters you can find. I mean it when I say I can’t think of a single character I wish they had cut cause they are all so well created. Even the ones I hate i have fun hating cause they were made to be that way. I’ll be good though I’ll only talk about my absolute top faves.

- The Monarchs

You ever sit and wish villain couples could have functional healthy relationships? Well look no further than Malcom Fitzcarraldo aka The Monarch and Dr. Shelia Girlfriend (yes that is her last name). The Monarch is a high strung impulsive saturday morning cartoon villain whos tendency to over react is only matched by his unspecified hatred of Dr. Venture. And Dr. G is his nonsense partner in crime who will cut a bitch if they don’t play by their admittedly weird rules. Both characters are great on their own but are better together. Though that doesnt mean they always get along. Like a real couple they have their ups and downs they fight, break up, make-up and grow stronger in their relationship with each season.

- Shore Leave

Ok ok so I want you to imagine James Bond, mixed with GI Joe simmering in a cocktail of the most flamboyant gay men you have ever seen and you have one of my favorite gay characters/characters in general. Shore Leave is a member of OSI (the shows SHEILD/GI Joe parody organization) he’s loud, brash, flippant, sassy and highly competent at his job loving every second of getting to beat bad guys down within an inch of their life. I love seeing him play off the stoic Brock and the two have this great brotherly dynamic that’s never called into question. He also gets to have a very cute romance with Al the Alchemist (who is also great). I could talk about this man all day.

- Dr. Rusty Venture

They did such a good job with this man. He’s a self serving, sexist, perverted, whinny, self important asshole and yet you feel pity and genuine sympathy for him and want him to succeed. You can see how Dr. V was given a raw deal by his father who seemed to care more about his adventures than his sons well being and how this molded him into the bitter man he is today, but on the flip side you can see where he chose to use that as a crutch for his worst behaviors and impulses. Seeing him slowly grow and change and be an actual good father to his boys while all the while still be a giant dick is actually really great.

- Dr. Byron Orpheus

Ahhhhh Dr. Orpheus part Dr. Strange Parody part busybody stay at home dad, he’s just such a delight. Dr. Orpheus is a divorcee, with an unfulfilling job of maintaining order to the cosmos (which isnt as hard as one might think), and uses his magical ablities in ways most of us would (ie menial tasks and home chores). Overly dramatic and affectionate Dr. O is a delight whenever he appears, but he’s at his best around his daughter and old friends The Order of the Triad.

Again I can go on but all these characters ranging from main to recurring are crafted with the utmost care for you to want to see them succeed or fail, to see them again even if you know it’ll never happen, and want them to cross paths with other characters.

The Venture Bros is one of those series that I will ALWAYS recommend even to the pickiest of humor tastes. But if you don’t believe its as good as I said or don’t think the concept is to your tastes I’ll recommend a few eps that I think best show off the base idea of the series without giving much away. In terms of plot and spoilers, though somethings wont make a lot of sense.

- S1 ep10 "Tag Sale – You're It!" - Dr. V is having a yard sale so of course all manner of costumed weirdos show up. - S2 ep5 "Twenty Years to Midnight" - basically a fetch quest around the world to save the planet with daddy issues - S3 ep2 "The Doctor Is Sin" - Again daddy issues but with one of the best recurring characters and a great showcase of the series deeper emotional plots - S4 ep6 "Self-Medication" - Really embraces the parody as Rusty goes to a former boy adventurer support group. Anyway the show is 7 seasons with 80 episodes, please go watch it. I will never forgive @adultswim for cancelling what was to be their final season. And in closing GO TEAM VENTURE!

#venture bros #the venture bros #venture brothers #adultswim #adult animated shows #animated shows #animation #go watch this show #go watch #adult animation

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darthwheezely · 3 years

Text

grande - g.w.

Summary: George meets a mighty adorable barista in the new cafe on Diagon Alley and the man just can’t help himself... based off the song Coffee Girl by Johnny Socko! Sorry this took me absolute ages (9 days oops) to get out, guys :/

Warnings: DIABETIC FLUFF STUPID AMOUNTS OF CARDIAC ARREST INDUCING FLUFF UWU,mentions of sexism, Fred being Fred, cussing probably, alludes to sex, PG/PG-13

taglist or people that might like this but idk: @theweasleyslut @kitwalker02 @loony-loopy-lupinn @wand3ringr0s3 @gcdric @thehufflepuffwife @monoscandal @lupinsclassroom @whiz-bangs78 @vogueweasley @rogueweasleys @band--psycho @lumosandnoxwriting @oh-for-merlins-sake @amxrtentias @virgohufflepuff @vivianweasley

George Weasley didn’t sleep. This had long been the habit of his ever since he and his parents had discovered that his elder twin Fred had been an avid sleepwalker by age 4, then became a (minor) party animal in his Hogwarts days, and finally when he became the co-owner of one of the Wizard World’s most successful entrepreneurs and business owners.

The man hadn’t slept in about 18 years give or take. And days like this reminded him of it constantly.

It was a Saturday, the first of the month, and to boot, it was about to be Christmas in a little over a week. Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes was packed with everyone from couples window shopping, children in desperate need of fun now that school was out, parents trying to keep them in line, and even some old lady named Ethel (who swore she was part Veela, and therefore Fred couldn’t “escape her girlish charm.”)

“Ethel, you have an absolutely ravishing day, and don’t even worry about that moisturizer it’d be a waste of product on a natural beauty like you” Fred winked and kissed the old lady’s hand, George watching from the top of the steps rolling his eyes.

“Oh, Freddie, you know how to keep a lady young, don’t you? Oh - goodbye, Georgie! Have a good rest of your day boys!” She waved majestically to the younger twin on the stairs and he bowed royally in response.

“Bye, Ethel!” They both called as she exited the building, the bells flurrying in her wake.

“Georgie, mate, hate to say it but you are being uncharacteristically quiet and it’s making me uncharacteristically uncomfortable.” Fred said bounding up the stairs to meet him, chuckling briefly.

“Freddie, mate, hate to say it but I’ve had absolutely no sleep as of late and it’s getting to me. But I’ll be back up to my usual antics in no time.” He padded down the stairs, winking at a couple young ladies ogling him, sending them into a fit of giggles. Fred sat down on the middle step eyeing his brother carefully. It didn’t take a genius to see George wasn’t holding on much longer, the dark circles littering his eyes and the way he mussed up his already purposely messy hair just...didn’t comfort his older twin at all.

“George.” Fred sighed, George looking back at him, confused. He took his hands away from the merchandise Wonder Witch he’d been rearranging and gave him full attention.

“Take your lunch break early. And longer if possible.”

“Pffft, why would I do that when I have women to woo and boxes to juggle?”

“George.”

“Fred.”

“Stop, I mean it. You look half dead as it is, just go take a nap or get an espresso from the cafe down the aisle or something that reinforces the idea that yes, you are a human being and no, not a zombie.” Fred crossed his arms feeling suddenly a lot like Molly and dropped the cross. George pretended to ponder this tapping his chin, rather finding the mature brother role reversal funny as hell.

“Oh, alright, but can I still be a zombie when I get back?”

Fred hit him with a folder and sent him on his way.

-•-•-

You had just finished the lunch rush, finally being able to calm down and not have to worry about making one more goddamn Butterbeer Latte for at least another 20 or so minutes...until there’d be another rush. You grabbed a lemon scone, took off your apron and sat against the back counter. You inhaled the citrus scent, it was always something that you loved to savor, and took a bite.

The holidays for the Merlin’s Mochas, the cafe, had been absolutely atrocious so far. All you had for customers were angry businessmen, bratty kids and their upper class parents who let them run around the already small place being rude to everyone, your boss Lionel who had an affinity for calling every woman who worked there a “bitch” (...ok lionel) and to top it all off: you’d been pulling 9 hour days every day except sundays. Needless to say: you kind of super hated your job.

You had just finished your scone when you heard the door chime signal a customer, immediately wiping your hands on your jeans and restrapping your apron.

“Hi how can I-“ oh Jesus this is the hottest man I have ever seen. He was easily no older than 23, fiery red hair, a perfectly tailored striped terracotta suit, green tie, and the most gorgeous doe brown eyes you’d ever seen.

“How can you...?”

“Help you, ohmygod, I am so sorry I’m super-“

“Tired? Yeah me too...interesting how similar we are this early in the game hmm?” He winked at you and your knees felt too weak. No he was just a stupid hot customer that also was really hot and also? Was super hot. No worries, Y/N, just don’t die by 22 okay thanks.

“Very funny...wait are you-“ your finger led from him to the statue outside Wizard Wheezes, realizing a simple oh shit

“Yeah, that would be me. Or my twin Fred but we never really decided, that’s why he kind of looks like both of us mixed. Although we’re twins so we basically look the same anyway. I mean because were identical. Twins, yeah.” George, what the fuck is wrong with you, why are you sweating? She’s just a simply beautiful girl in a simply maddeningly purple coffee shop can you please breathe and not make yourself look stupid-

“Oh, wow! I’ve never met a twin before - not like twins are anomalies or anything it’s just so crazy. Science. Science is crazy” You closed your eyes and took a breath

“We should probably start over shouldn’t we?” You wrinkled your nose.

“That sounds much more redeeming than anything we both were about to say” George breathed out laughing softly, rubbing his hand through his hair.

“I’m George. Weasley. Like I said, I work at Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes, the shop over there, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen this place before...or you for that matter, I never forget a beautiful young woman.” He said smoothly, his heart steadily subsiding - something about you had the power to not only make him scared out of his mind, but also totally at ease.

You returned the smile, warmly, the blood rushing to your cheeks at his compliment and sticking your tongue to your teeth. “Well, George Weasley, of Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes I’m Y/N Y/L/N. And yeah, we’re new around here,” you leaned further onto the counter, realizing, albeit a moment too late that your eye level was directly with his abs now, and although he was wearing a suit...you could definitely tell they were there.

“We erm, just opened three months ago. It’s honestly a bit of a time to work here.”

“Oh and why is that?”

“Well, nothing like a blatant sexist to run an entirely female employed establishment and weird stuffy rich people.” Your eyes widened suddenly, and you felt like you had said far too much far too soon. But he gasp-laughed - laugh that ended as soon as it began and burst into a smile...like you had shared a secret with him.

“What the hell is he doing here then? Got a boy’s club to run in a purple coffee shop?”

“I mean you never really know these days, George, imposters are among us at every moment” you purred and pushed off the counter, meaning it as a joke but George’s heart screamed when he heard your name. As you moved to the other edge of the counter, he followed you.

“What a resourceful and cruel young woman, I am starting to like you, Miss Y/L/N.” He clucked. “And do you think of me like you think of Mr. I-Hate-Women-That’s-Why-I-Hire-Them?” He got inches from your face, smelling the coffee beans and vanilla extract that riddled your skin.

“Hmm...Mr. Weasley, I’m not so sure.” You coyly stepped away from him and took long strides to the far end of the coffee bar by the wall. George immediately felt a pit of flirtatious butterflies and (arousal?) something more in his stomach, jaw dropped, he followed you again. He pressed his hands to the counter in front of you.

“Well, how can I convince you?” He asked rather quickly.

“Hmm...” you leaned forward like he did before and his breath hitched in his throat “...let’s get you a cuppa first.”

-•-

“Wait, okay let me get this straight-“

“Yes?”

“You have 6 other siblings.”

“Yes.”

“...because your mom wanted a girl?”

“That-that would in fact be true, yes.”

You thought for a moment.

“So you’re telling me after she made it through you two-“

“-she still wanted to have more of us, believe me, it races through my mind daily.” He nodded vehemently laughing with you. You two had taken to the empty cafe at a table nestled in the corner, him sitting in a chair across from you on a bench. You had both been cracking each other up with stories from your childhoods, like how you both had managed to never know of the other’s existence until now.

He’d discovered that you had transferred from Hogwarts to Beauxbatons early on in your fourth year. You, a Hufflepuff, loved the quiet and soft landscape of the French school. You both had absolutely no idea the other existed. How? The world may never know.

He was brash. You were careful.

He was already flying when you were just feeling comfortable learning how to walk.

But you sat there with him for the better amount of an hour and a half, laughing and interrupting each other with memories of the school years you had, some weird and strange, and especially during fourth year, hard for George to talk about.

Ginny, his baby sister, had almost died. And as he said to you in a candid and highly vulnerable state: he blamed himself for almost letting her go to this day.

“I...I really do believe it was my fault.”

“George, it couldn’t have been your fault. Hogwarts is a big freaking death trap - you and I both know that,” you had said with an exasperated laugh, eager to make him feel better in any facet.

“Yeah, but...I’m her big brother. Yes, she has five other older brothers but...we were supposed to protect her.” He swallowed and blinked back tears. “It was her first year, for Christ’s sake, and I paid about as much attention to her as a doorknob would.” He had rolled his jaw and taken a gulp of his gingerbread latte (you had said it was your favorite, and he was loathe to try anything else) and you had softly draped your hand on top of his.

“If she’s as kind and loving and funny as you, I’d love to meet her.” You quipped, a small smile growing on your face in effort to soothe. He had smiled back at you, turning your hand over in his and drawing his digits lazily over your palm.

“Funny, because I was thinking the same thing.”

-•-

He had told you to close your eyes, that much had been true.

See, his coffee had started to get cold. So, like if you give a mouse a cookie, he’ll have to have some milk-

If you give a George a latte he will have to not only have another one, but also feel the strenuous need to show off for you and take you to his place of work. Naturally. And it was so lucky that by the time he’d proposed you leave, he even helped you clean and lock up afterwards.

Truthfully, it almost scared you how much he had seemed to care.

“Alright, Y/N, darling, I’m going to release my hands on the count of three, yeah?”

“Perfect, Georgie” you giggled. You’d legitimately only knew him for so long, but you just...you trusted him. He grinned widely, his strong hands only applying a slight amount of pressure as not to hurt you.

“Alright, then. 1. 2-“ he took his hands off your eyes and watched you adjust not only to light, but to your surroundings as well.

“3.” He breathed out taking in the way you smiled like a teenager, face alight with pure inundating wonder. You squealed and started to run around the store.

“Look at these! Pygmy Puffs - ugh they’re so adorable look at this one! Oh, oh - ‘Fizzing Whizbees’ - these look absolutely wicked! And Per- ‘Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder’?” You picked up the glittery stone in your hand, and heard a smooth voice perk up behind you.

“A real money spinner, that one.” You turned around and there was a man that looked absolutely identical to George, although entirely different in the same way.

“Handy if you need to make a quick getaway,” you heard George on the other side of you. He smiled warmly down at you, nodding his head up to look at the twin across from him.

“Y/N, this is my-“

“-older, much more attractive and fiscally responsible brother.” He winked and you blushed almost immediately. “Fred. Weasley.”

“Y/N Y/L/N. Georgie has told me a lot about you and the shop - absolutely marvelous this place is, I cant believe you two created so much in such a short span of time. Brilliant it all is, really!” George had started to flush, rubbing his jaw to seemingly take the red away from his striking face. Fred, upon hearing the genuine warmth from your voice and the unmistakable use of “Georgie” had a small, but highly distinct aha moment:

“Well, we couldn’t have done it all on our own, one of our best friends helped us out a good lot. But thank you, really...it means so much when other people see how much we do and-” he looked directly at George.

“-acknowledge the things we love, right George?”

“Absolutely, Frederick.” Fred had given him the look that seemed to imply: “please, God, make a damn move.”

“Well, Y/N, I’m going to be off and woo some ladies, have a biscuit and do some paperwork” he smiled wide when you giggled, already enjoying your company.

“But I hope to see you again, very soon, yeah? Please stop by whenever you can, we’re alwYs just down the street.”

“Freddie, for your company, I’m not so sure, I’m still deciding.” You quipped. Fred laughed heartily at that and looked at George.

“Georgie, I like this one.” George looked at you and winked.

“Me, too Freddie, me too.” You leaned back on your heels as Fred padded back up the stairs to the flat, now completely alone with George. You threw your arms behind you back and forth and took a long stride to George.

“So...what are you those?” You nodded up to the array of pink bubbles in a clam shape in the corner. He hummed and reached to grab your hand.

“Love potions - c-can I show you?” He raised an eyebrow slightly, but he felt his whole body turn to mush when you accepted his hand and nodded slowly. As he walked with you, you memorized the feeling of his callouses and veins, the way your hand curled deliberately in his.

You wanted to make sure if it was the last time you felt something like that, you had that memory with you for a while.

“Essentially, if you give these to a person they will temporarily have feelings of love and attraction for you. Depending of course on the dosage you use and the weight of the person in question.” He explained. You watched the way his suit jacket pulled taut against his back muscles and instinctively wanted to honestly just take the whole thing off-

“Hmm...I don’t know about these, Georgie.” You hummed mischievously. Your heart was pounding in your chest.

He scoffed placing a dramatic hand over his heart. “Am i being questioned in my own establishment, Miss Y/L/N?”

You rolled your eyes and hit his arm, bowing slightly at him. “Well, do forgive my feminine insolence, Mr. Weasley, it’s not often I meet such bewitching mad scientists like you.” You watched his face grow blank for a moment at your compliment and immediately wanted to throw up.

“George, I’m really sorry, I know we just became friends-“

“Do you mean it?” He took a step towards you. You swallowed finding again his perfect milk chocolate eyes. You nodded.

“Hell yeah I did, you’re smart...and wicked hot” you both laughed at that. He took another step, the distance being unbearably harder to live in as his digits found a piece of hair and wound it behind your ear.

“Well, darling, the feeling is quite mutual.” He said quietly, taking in the whole of your face. He wanted to crash his lips onto every possible nook and crevice of your face, collide with you entirely.

“We’re going to have to do something about that, then, aren’t we?” You gently nudged his nose with yours and wrapped your arms around his neck, his strong and powerful arms pulling you to him gently. He wanted you to feel him not to break under his embrace. He leaned down and brushed his lips up to yours, feeling you whine and let out a minuscule sound.

“Got you making noises for me already and haven’t even kissed you yet, hmm?”

Your eyes fluttered close and one of your legs made it’s way in between his, snapping any chance at loose air between you two out of the way.

“Please, Weasley, pants a bit small for you?”

“Keep talking like that and they might, yeah.” You two laughed softly and with a final look to your lips he closed the last gap.

His mouth was perfect. His lips ghosted over yours one last time before wrapping every part of himself onto your frame, your lips entangled in each other like you’d never be able to taste him again.

But it was loving and slow and sweet. He tasted like gingerbread lattes and pastries and cinnamon and licking into his mouth you could feel the spice. He moaned lightly into your mouth, sending your knees buckling. He dipped you slightly, a hand traveling to your lower back to keep you steady, and his other hand coming up to nestle under the nape of your hair. Your hands caressed his face, his chest, needless to say? You wanted them everywhere. You wanted him everywhere.

The kiss broke and you and George were left breathless in each other’s hold, your foreheads pressed together as he kept you slightly dipped.

“Y/N, I’m feeling a bit tired” he quipped hoarsely, pressing a brief kiss to your lips and onto your neck. You hummed satisfactorily.

“Georgie, you’re gonna need another latte aren’t you?” You set multiple chaste kisses to his lips and cheeks, feeling him rumble with a small giggle. He caught your mouth with his and you moaned slightly.

“I’m gonna need a whole pot, to drink you in, love.”

#George weasley #george weasley imagine #george weasley x reader #george weasley headcanon #coffee shop #Harry Potter #POV you get called cruel and resourceful by George Weasley #new kink unlocked

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mrs-march-ahs · 3 years

Text

Kai Helps You Find a Purpose

Summary- A blue-haired stranger helps you overcome the feeling of being lost after you quit your job. He seems fascinated by the rage in your body and shows you how to use it in an unconventional way.

Warnings- Murder, rape, knifes, blood, Kai Anderson. Words- 1.8k shorty:)

I’ve had this idea in my head for the longest time, so I really appreciate any feedback! I love doing my own ideas but if you prefer when I write requests then I wanna know! Enjoy! :)

---

You slam the glass door behind you as you exit your job. Well, old job. No matter how hard you work, your boss refused to see your potential and when you asked him for a raise for the final time and he said no, you gave him an ultimatum. And now you are left to walk out of your old job to the carpark with a backpack full of your belongings. To be honest, you hated that job anyway, and despised the sexist boss. He crossed a line by underappreciating your hard work, even after hours and constantly giving praise to the other fuckers who could barely make a cup of coffee. You walk over straight to his white Mercedes and pull out your pocketknife, hoping that in the dark of the evening nobody will witness your crime. As you squat down to the level of the front right tire and stab it powerfully with your knife, you can feel the feminist rage in your body deflate. After you do the front left and go towards the back one, you see a figure of a broad man standing at the front of the car, watching you. Although you saw him, his voice catches you off guard. And frankly, pisses you off too.

“If you slash all four tires then insurance will pay for it”, he states, assuming that you didn’t know that already. “Slash three”. The mansplaining makes you groan.

“Do I look like I need advice, asshole?”, you reply, rolling your eyes. Contrary to what you expected, the man stays stood watching you and laughs at your remark. When you push the blade from your knife particularly deep, you sigh in satisfaction, but fail to pull it out. You wriggle it around a little before looking up at the man.

“Are you gonna just watch me or at least are you gonna help?”, you ask, tugging at the knife.

“You don’t need my help”, he says quietly and ominously. “Use your strength, work smarter not harder”. The useless advice made you sigh in anger and push the knife in deeper, before practically ripping it out of the tire. He stands leaned over the hood of the car to watch you slash the tire, and smiles widely when you manage to do it by yourself. You stand up and look at him, and he stays smiling, and compliments you on your work.

“See? You don’t need help, you’re strong”, he whispers at you. You can’t help but smile back at the support and at the relief that he won’t snitch on your vandalism. When you take a step towards the curb to walk home, he puts his arm out to stop you and unexpectedly offers to buy you a coffee. You timidly say yes, but when he walks towards his car and opens the door for you, a red blinking alarm goes off in your mind and you kindly refuse to get in a stranger’s car. Although he laughs, he understands, and the two of you walk a mere 2 streets to a restaurant that he claims is owned by his friends. When the two of you walk through the front door of the packed restaurant and he asks for a table and instantly gets it, you have no reason to not believe his connections. You sit awkwardly across from the stranger who introduces himself to you, before praising you on your inexcusable actions.

“It takes a lot of strength to notice when you’re not being appreciated, it takes even more strength to just slash his tires instead of slashing his fucking throat”. His words are so serious that you don’t question how he knows what happened. “What do you want to achieve?”

“I want to make the world a better place in any way I can… I volunteer at soup kitchens all the time… dog shelters… I know it sounds horrible but no matter what I do, it doesn’t feel satisfying or like I’m achieving anything”. He exhales in amusement and you defensively expand.

“It’s like I’m waiting for some good karma to come to me, but all I feel is guilt because I’m doing good things for the wrong reasons”. You look down and swirl around your coffee with a spoon as you wait for him to judge you. All you felt was guilt, you wanted to be a good person and you knew you shouldn’t wait for good things to happen to you just because you’re volunteering. He puts a finger under your chin and makes you look at him. His big black eyes hypnotize you and you wait anxiously for him to speak.

“You need to put your rage towards something good. Anger doesn’t help anybody, but I saw today that you are capable of rage”, he coaxes you quietly. “A strong rage can be used as unlimited energy and shouldn’t be wasted, but put towards something useful… what fills you with rage?”

“The sexism at my work”, you immediately respond. “None of my male co-workers get harassed on the job. They don’t get told to smile or unbutton their shirts for tips. They get raises that they don’t deserve. As long as that keeps happening, I will always be filled with rage”.

The blue haired man hums in agreement and smiles at you. “That’s a solid source”. He drinks the end of his coffee and offers to drive you home.

When the two of you sit in his car, he proposes that instead of going back to the motel you lived at, you come over to his and the two of you could share a drink.

“No, I’m sorry. I need to go home and scream into my pillow”. Although you laugh after saying that, Kai doesn’t.

“What are you achieving with that? That’s like working hard to get money for gas, just to pour it down the drain”, he scolds you and raises his voice with every word. “You have this rage; we’re going to use it for something good!”, he shouts.

“Yes, but how!”, you reply, and watch Kai take a few turns before driving around the same couple of blocks a few times. You sit silently and hope he’ll explain the plan, but he doesn’t, instead he slowly drives down the streets, carefully inspecting the alleyways. Finally, when a short hum escapes his lips, he pulls his car over and points towards an alleyway on the other side of the street.

“Look what’s happening”.

You narrow your eyes trying to see down the dark alleyway and unbuckle your seatbelt to lean over closer to Kai. A man down the side of a building is stumbling slightly with a gun in his hand, pinning a woman against the wall and forcibly pulling her clothes off, only for her to try to push him away.

“Wait… is he uh-”

“What is your feminism fuelled rage telling you to do?”

You look Kai dead in the eye and his black eyes and clenched jaw silently ask you whether you’re willing to do what it takes. Saying that you want the world to be a better place means jack shit if you’re not ready to singlehandedly protect your sisters and put your rage towards making the world cleaner and safer. Not tomorrow, not in years to come, but now.

Without another second of thought, you jump out of the car and run to the alley, Kai following closely behind. Kai grabs the drunk man by the shoulders and rips him off the wall, allowing you access to push the woman out of the alleyway and onto the street, letting her immediately start running. The drunk attempts to fight Kai, throwing hard punches that all miss. Not wanting to steal your spotlight, Kai throws the man into the wall, letting you take out your feminist rage on his face. You put your hands in his hair and grip tightly, repeatedly smashing his face into the brick wall, leaving instant blood stains and scratches. Hopefully, a lifetime reminder of the scum he is. In order to save him the disgust of having to look at himself in the mirror, you drag his face along the wall, hoping that the cracks in the wall will be enough to leave his face bleeding.

“Work smarter; not harder”, Kai reminds you.

You release the man from your grip and watch him stumble and lean against the wall for support, giving you enough time to take your pocketknife back out and plunge in straight into the mans crotch. As he sloppily yells in pain, Kai grabs the gun out of his hand and throws it over a fence, just in case he gets any ideas. The intoxicating high of seeing this rapist bleed and cry in pain gives you one last kick of confidence, which you use to twist the knife in his ball sack before ripping it out. Kai stands watching you, smirking and almost hard, listening to the beaten-up motherfucker pant and sob. Kai pushes you out of the way and shoves him to the ground one last time, before grabbing your hand and legging it to the car.

When you sink to the car seat, trying to catch your breath, not a single thought coming to your mind for the first few seconds. The adrenaline of assault makes your heart want to jump out of your chest. But when you look over at Kai, expecting him to mirror you, he sits calmly, waiting for you to calm down. Your head is blurred with disbelief at what you just did, but despite knowing in your mind that violence isn’t the answer, you sit there as Kai starts driving and wait for the guilt to overpower your body. But it just…doesn’t.

“I’m so proud of you”, Kai says and puts his hand on your thigh giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“I’m waiting for the guilt to kick in”

“It won’t”, Kai informs you. “You don’t care about the homeless or animals”

“What?! Of course, I do-”

“No, you don’t. You care about sexism. That’s what powers you. How many statistics do you know about rape? How much do you know about rape prevention? Feminism? Malala and Michelle fucking Obama?!”, he yells.

“That’s what fills you with rage, and that’s what begins the unlimited cycle”. Although his words sounded so sure and factual, you just couldn’t accept it.

“I don’t want to do it with violence”. Your voice weakens which makes Kai huff in amusement. He parks his car outside your motel and turns to you.

“You just made the world a better place. You saved that woman. That scum will never be able to reproduce. If you weren’t doing the right thing, you’d feel guilty”. You look up at him with worried eyebrows and he gives you a warm reassuring smile. You can’t deny his words, and the adrenaline and sense of accomplishment overshadow any speck of guilt you’re meant to feel. Just as you’re about to open the car door to get out, he puts his hand on your shoulder and looks at you once more.

“I’ll come by and get you tomorrow, I want you to meet my friends”

#american horror story #ahs #american horror story cult #ahs cult #kai anderson #kai anderson x #kai anderson x reader #kai anderson fanfiction #kai anderson imagine #murder story #evan peters #evan peters character #ahs imagine #american horror story imagine

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rudemaidenswrite · 4 years

Text

Don't Belong Here

Part 1

Fandom: Bright

OC Fogteeth Orc x Reader

By: @pusantheamazonian

You're dragged to one of the monthly Fogteeth party's against your will. For once it doesn't end up a bad night for you.

The music's too loud, there's too many people and now this. You’re staring up at the orc, and he’s standing in front of you mumbling something.

"Sorry but you're going to have to speak up. Bad hearing." Tapping your right ear, you scoot over on the couch. Allowing him to sit down.

"You don't belong here." Huffing he leans over before sitting.

Chuckling, you already knew that. A packed house party with strobe lights, mosh pit and dubious activities is not your idea of a fun time. You'd rather be at home under a mound of blankets with all the food watching Gravity Falls.

Why not amuse him. It's not like you're going to come to another one of these ever again and he'll probably be with someone else by the end of the night.

"Flaming red asshole hair." Pointing at the bar. "My sister and her girlfriend. They are the ones who dragged me here."

"Yeah they've been here before." Nodding he takes a drink.

"Said I was a bad night shifter and needed to socialize. So this." Gesturing at yourself. You had purposely worn an oversized hoodie and sweatpants. Sat in the back corner away from everyone. So that people would avoid talking to you but not this guy. Apparently he didn't get the memo.

“Sitting in the corner is not socializing.” Teasing he gives you a lopsided grin.

“Eh, close enough.” Waving your hand you dismiss that accusation.

The more you look at him, he's kinda cute and not entirely threatening looking. You know orcs have quite a bit of range on them. From looking terrifying to absolutely adorable. He's chunky but it works for him, honestly it's doing it for you.

God this not what you are supposed to be doing. So what if he's your type. Stop oolging. The Fogteeth jersey he's wearing means he's bad news.

"Name's Ronnie."

"Y/N." You quickly scan the crowd to make sure you haven't lost your two hooligans. Cause those bitches would leave you for a dirty alley quickie. And you’ve lost them. "Is it always this loud?"

"The barbeque is a lot quieter."

"I would hope so." You don't know why but you find yourself smiling and laughing. The more you talk to him the less grumpy you are about being here. His humor is out there but he's very pleasant to talk to.

God. He doesn't know what's going on. You smell faintly of blackberries. He keeps getting a whiff every time you lean in to hear him. Most humans run away in disgust from him, especially women. But you're still here.

You don't know how long it's been, hours you imagine but you're ripped from peace very suddenly.

"Y/N! Y/N! Y/N!" Your sister is screaming at the top of her lungs.

"What Charlie?" Panicked, you immediately stand up.

"Come on! You're up next. You can't miss your turn!" She’s jumping excitedly.

"Turn for what?" Confused, you look at Ronnie hoping he might know. He shakes his head no. You haven't seen anyone playing games that would require turns.

"You'll see." Giving you a suspicious smile and pulling your arm.

As she starts to drag you away, you instantly grab a hold of Ronnie. Dragging him with you through the sea of people. You know her suspicious smiles never lead to anything good. It’s best to have another witness or at least someone on your side.

To his surprise he lets you drag him along. Your warm hand tightly interlocked with his. Whatever your sister has planned can't be that bad.

He was wrong.

"You got to be kidding me." Horrified you let go of everybody and back away. Charlie has led you to a back room where it is fight club night.

"Nope!" Olivia is squealing, suddenly appearing on your left. Trying not to shake in excitement or else she'll spill the contents in her arms. "Three shots of Everclear and a can of Fat Orc."

"Are you serious? This the real reason you brought me?" This is so uncalled for and obviously something that they have planned. They've been doing shit like this a lot lately.

"No we did want you to socialize but then we found this and everything else was thrown to the side." Olivia rambles on.

"I hate y'all so much." So offended you can't process what’s really happening.

"Awe come on you can do it." Charlie tries to pep talk you further into it.

"No I'm not! I'm not thunderdome-ing it so y'all can win some money. This-" In processing of telling them off you're interrupted by an asshole.

"Yes run on home girl. This is a man's room. Don't want you to hurt yourself." Sneering he leaves just as quickly as he appeared.

"That's your opponent." Olivia whispers.

"How much Charlie?" Glaring you watch him disappear back into the crowd. Fuck it. Eye twitching, inner alpha bitch activated.

"$100." She knows you're hooked now.

"Give it." Still staring off into the direction he went, you hold a waiting hand out. Grinning wickedly Charlie tosses the Fat Orc at you. Cracking it open, you chug the entire thing in one go. With the boiling rage inside of you, the can is crushed with one hand. Everything else can wait. This asshole needs to be taught a lesson.

The current fight ends and the orc ring leader is yelling out different things. The bookie next to him is frowning. Apparently he betted on the wrong guy.

"Give me your sweatshirt and finish the shots.” Olivia giggles.

"Hold your horses." Grumbling with a grimace you downed the last shot. Somehow your sweatshirt’s already off and Charlie's pushing into the ring. It's a stupid makeshift ring. Just a circle outlined in chalk.

"Place your bets!" The ringleader shouts.

"Oh you going to stay?" He smugly questions.

"To beat your sexist ass? I wouldn't miss it." Snapping back you're fueled with liquor and hatred. Dude looks like a unsanitary version of fuck boy. Which just further fuels the fire.

He can’t believe what he's seeing, you have transformed into a completely different person. The quiet girl who didn't even want to be here is now a feral animal.

A crowd is gathering. Often it's human men that enter the ring on these nights. Testing how long they can last against an orc or other humans. Rare is it that a woman enters, even rarer that they win. Causing this much uproar has reached the top of the command chain. Seeing Dorghu enter the room. Everything has escalated and Dorghu happens to stand next to him.

"With the house cut, she'll get over $900 if she wins." Craft informs.

“Who is she?” Dorghu demands, not many capture his interest.

“She came in with Ronnie.” Craft grins at him.

"Ronnie?" Dorghu turns in surprise.

"We were talking then her sister brought her back here.” Nodding at Charlie. “He made a sexist comment and she flipped. Did three shots, a can of Fat Orc and got in. She’s been drinking water all night."

“Interesting.” Dorghu turns back to the match to watch you counter a punch and punch him in the middle of the throat. With a kick to the stomach you knock him to the ground.

"The winner!" An orc yells to a sea of angry groans, briefly holding your arm up. Exhausted everything is spinning, ears are ringing and the liquor burps start.

"Give me my stuff." Slurring you almost lose your balance looking for Charlie and Olivia. Staggering a few steps you make it safely to them. You have forgotten everything about Ronnie and exactly where you are. It's too hot in this room and you need a nap. You are going to regret everything in the morning. Tugging your hoodie back on you doesn't bother zipping it.

The bookie appears as you're putting everything back into your pockets. Of course you have to be the one to collect the money.

"$936 all yours." Smiling he hands you the cash. You see his eyes dip for a second before leaving to collect money for the next round.

"Thanks." Great, he just got an eye full down your shirt. What a pervert. Spinning back to the hooligans, it is time for their punishment. "Ten for you and ten for you. Two four six eight for me."

"Come on-" Whining Charlie starts pouting.

"Zip it! It's whatcha get for signing me up without my permission." You whip around determined to give it back to the bookie.

You visibly pause when you make eye contact with Dorghu. You're not stupid you vaguely know what he looks like. Change of plans. Drunk you who is still pissed has decided on a new dumb plan. You march straight to Dorghu, maintaining eye contact. Everyone watching you is confused.

Out of sheer intoxicated boldness you grab his hand and put the winnings in it.

"Keep it. Fun party. It was nice talking to someone besides Ronnie's kinda cute. So do what you do."

The room freezes. You can feel the tension but could care less about it. Clear as day you touched the leader like it was nothing then spoke perfect Bodzvokhan to him. Before toddling off complaining about getting fresh air and water.

Your sister said you were probably at the car cooling off. He checked the parking lot twice. No sign of you. That's until he gets a whiff of you.

After making it outside you disappeared down an alley by the car. Much quieter, no people and the breeze is nice. Sitting on the ground you can feel yourself nodding off.

"Ah!" Jumping from the sudden cold against your neck. It's Ronnie holding a water bottle. "Dang it Ronnie you scared the bejeezus out of me." You accept the water bottle.

At this position you can really see how tall and massive he is. Sort of reminds you of the Strongman Champion Brian Shaw. Your mind drifts, wondering how he would taste and feel in your hand. Your insides quiver from the thought. What the fuck? Trying your hardest you focus on the bottle.

"You shouldn't be trying to sleep in the alley then."

"Fair point. Thank you for the water." Struggling for a second you finally open the water.

"You speak Orc?" From this angle he can see straight down your shirt. He can see that you were hiding a great set under that hoodie.

"Learned it in high school trying to impress a boy. Some of my co-workers are orcs so it works out." Shrugging speaking Orc isn't a big deal, anyone can learn it.

"You didn't say you could fight."

"Honestly, it's like some drunken boxing Kung Fu shit but the more intoxicated I am. The more berserker I get when fighting." Taking a swig of water. "I don't usually drink or purposely get into fights."

"Damn baby." Taking the risk, you have been an enjoyable companion tonight. Why not see what the limit is.

"Don't call me baby." You aggressively glare at him to make a point.

"Whatever you say, Sprinkles." Putting his hands up in surrender, he needs to change the subject quickly.

"Sprinkles? That…that's different but okay." Weird name to choose but he seems to get the point.

"How's your hearing?" Lowering himself, he sits down beside you. He has no plans for tonight.

"Much better. I can clearly hear you and not have to be all up on you just to listen."

You see his ears twitch at that comment. Maybe he does like being close to you.

"Brave move you did. Handing the money directly to Dorghu."

"Yeah. But it's the only way I knew how. The money would make it back for the next party. Does that make sense?"

"I get your point."

"I don't need the money and it's payback for them setting the fight up in the first place." You give him a mischievous eyebrow wiggle.

"So you think I'm cute?" Blurting out the question was not the smoothest thing he had planned but it’s the easiest way.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Your face gets a little warmer and you stare at the opposite wall. Hard. You forgot he could speak orc.

"Don't worry I think you're cute too."

"What?" Surprised and suspicious. You can't help but to stare at him like he’s crazy as you feel your heart rate speed up. "Are you sure it's not because I just kicked someone's ass?"

"About 90% sure." Teasing he gives you a genuine smile.

"Y/N!" Charlie yells.

"Y/N! We're ready to go!" Olivia is screaming.

"Y/N! Where - oops sorry for interrupting." Charlie yells louder, now walking down the alley. Until she sees you two.

"You two could wake the neighborhood." Groaning, you're still annoyed with them. It's going to be a long car ride home.

"Rude! Not my fault you're deaf." Charlie scoffs.

"Wait by the car!" You fling a rock in their direction and they scamper away.

“Oh I'm going to end up snapping one day and killing them.” Groaning you heave yourself off the ground. Ronnie does the same while trying not to laugh.

"Sprinkles, you get more interesting by the second. How about I get your number so I can stay up-to-date?" In bold fashion he holds his phone out.

"Really?" Stunned, no one’s asked for your number before.

"Yes." Nodding in reassurance.

"I guess since you're so adamant." Pretending to be exasperated, you enter your number under the name Sprinkles. Turns out socializing for once wasn't that bad.

#reader insert #rudemaidenswrite #fanfiction #reader inserts #fogteeth #bright fandom #bright #OC #original character #orc x reader #OC Fogteeth Orc #orc #orc boyfriend #thunderdome #bad hearing #chunky bois #fight club #fluff

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girlfriendsofthegalaxy · 3 years

Text

tuesday again 6/29/21

i read part of a book, the reading section is no longer fallow, we have planted and sown some sort of crop

listening venus fly trap by MARINA. a dear mutual whose post i cannot find and i do not want to tag in case i am misquoting her called her latest lyrics “preachy” and i gotta agree? this one is almost but not quite a fun throwback to electra heart era. whereas that album was very much about watching “weaponized femininity” and a persona crumble around you, this is more of a mean-girl single designed to get your attention on the rest of the album. “why be a wallflower/when you can be/a venus fly trap” is an inherently delightful line.

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because i take a week off from this project every december, one week’s listening gets doubled up. glass animals’ mama’s gun gets on here bc it is perfectly engineered to stick in the back of my brain. i love a layered, kind of cluttered instrumental backdrop. the chimey-chimes! the sad woodwind! i don’t know that i particularly care for the lyrics or the people in the internet arguing about whether this song is about drugs or schizophrenia (the band said it’s about drugs, don’t be terrible to people with schizophrenia)

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reading here is a stab at the beginning of a post, bc i fully intended to finish this book sunday night and then. didn’t.

i’m trying to walk a fine line between pointing out things i find irritating and taking an older work for what it was at the time but tumblr is not known for its reading comprehension so i am belaboring some points and being more diplomatic with my word choice than if i were jawing about this book with friends. i read The Drowned World by JG Ballard as one of my first forays into the adult (shut up) fiction section at the library. there are some lines that have stuck in my brain for more than ten years, such as (describing sailing over a city under sixty feet of water) “...like a reflection in a lake that has somehow lost its original.” i’m a sucker for “sad man on the bleeding edge of civilization holes up in a once-grand building with looted bits and bobs”. i think it’s good set dressing and i love a poor little meow meow.

@morrak kindly offered me a pretty vintage hardcover that came in the mail a few weeks ago and i finally had time to crack it open. i draft these posts on sunday, and this sunday it comes to you from my phone in my landlord’s backyard, where a hammock really isn’t helping with the ninety-two degree heat and fifty-eight percent humidity. a good backdrop for reading about the earth remembering it used to mostly be a big swamp.

i typed a very long draft that ended up being mostly “wow kay you’re saying a novel written in the 60s is worried about the destruction of the world but in a dreamy and kind of sexist way with a tenuous relationship with reality at best?” yes. that’s just how old sci fi is sometimes and we can point out how parts of it don’t hold up for a modern audience while talking about the parts we do like.

for example, it takes a lot of its flavor and style from late-1800s harder scifi about hidden worlds/a changing world due to industrialization (think Journey to the Center of the Earth, or any novel about a secret paradise at the South Pole, or Erewhon). it is, instead, a softer scifi mostly concerned about the effects of living through a disaster that isn’t your fault and couldn’t be prevented, and what staring at constant ruin (no matter how beautiful!) and isolation does to a guy’s brain (as opposed to “harder” scifi like a lot of Verne’s work or Liu Cixin’s The Three-Body Problem that are really interested in how future technology might realistically work). i personally don’t think it’s a meaningful remix of these early altered-world novels, or at least i personally don’t find it terribly compelling in this particular aspect. women in late-1800s scifi either don’t exist at all or exist to be rescued from primitive humans so the author could write about some cool guns killing people. Beatrice thedrownedworld is in fact a catalyst for part of the book, but she does not feel like a real person, whereas Robert thedrownedworld feels like most of the professors ive had. poor bea, trapped in a sixties novel only to look pretty, be negged, and serve as a psychosexual metaphor. i have a pet theory that if you fuck in an older dystopia (like older horror) you die, but i don’t really have enough data points to separate it from standard misogyny just yet.

but at the same time, it’s such an interesting example of an apocalypse that isn’t humans’ fault. the earth is just doing some fucked-up shit for a while, and we might as well go see what’s up. in a lot of earlier scifi, the earth is just doing some fucked-up shit in the polar regions and we might as well go see what’s up.

sidebar, bc i’m me: in late-1800s scifi there’s some fun brotherly love/camraderie among the protagonists that you could put an interesting queer reading on (ask me about my Professor Arronax-twentythousandleaguesunderthesea-is-trans-theory) but Robert thedrownedworld is extremely straight. also like most of the professors ive had.

this is a book i’m fond of for its place in my life at a particular time and some really good imagery. sometimes on a sunday afternoon you read a short novel that does an excellent job of telling the story it set out to tell, and that’s enough.

watching the L0ki show. d/isney for once did not queerbait me, i do find their budget and attention to detail in costuming and set dressing excellent, and i do love an unapologetically not very nice woman. from previous experience with this particular flavor of #content this particular company puts out, i do not think it will hold my interest for a full season. also i am unable to read TVA as anything but Tennessee Valley Authority but that’s a different post

playing fallow week due to NDA

making lots of cleaning and packing and move-prepping. bought a fuckton of future textile crimes at various yard sales, which need to be frozen bc im inherently suspicious of old yarn and i’ll be fucking damned if i bring carpet beetles or moths into a new place. bug-free zone in the new place goddamnit

#tuesday again #tuesday again no problem

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elegantwoes · 3 years

Note

Hi! I’ve seen that you ship Naruhina, and I wanted to ask you your opinion on it? Even if I grew up with Naruto, Kishimoto’s writing is sooo sexist that now it’s hard for me to read the manga (I refuse to touch the anime, because it’s even more sexist). In my opinion, every female character is done dirty and underdeveloped, and the “romances” he writes are either weak or badly written. Every het pairing is hard for me to ship, because he simply can’t write a female character that’s properly developed, they exist only to further a man’s story, and when they try to do something on their own, Kishimoto finds a way to prove them incompetent, and has a man step in. And why are there so few kunoichis in comparison to male ninjas? Why are they written to be weaker, when a ninja’s strength is based on chakra and not only on physical power, and many kunoichis are shown to actually have better control on it? It makes me so mad! Honestly, I think Kishimoto should stay away from his female characters. Hinata had so much wasted potential: how awesome would it be, if Hinata’s arc was to change the Hyuga system? If she, together with Neji and her sister, tried to fix their parents’ mistakes, or even just to explore the issues? But complex arcs are only reserved for male characters, obviously. In fanon Naruhina is very cute, but in canon I can’t bring myself to ship it for the reasons I stated above, and also because I find Naruto too obsessed with Sasuke and Team Seven to see him in a romantic relationship. I don’t want to seem offensive, I would just like to read your opinion on a ship that, in my opinion, had wasted potential, and Kishimoto’s writing didn’t do it justice. Sorry if I bothered you!

All of what you said about Hinata and female characters in general in Naruto is true. I would have loved it if Hinata got the attention and care she deserved, and in many ways, I adore Hinata partly because of the massive potential she had as a character, however when it comes to Naruhina I have to disagree. It’s fine if you think Naruhina is cute in fanon, but the matter of the fact is Naruhina is already cute in canon.

What I like about Naruhina are the opposite energies they have. Naruto is boisterous and loud, whereas Hinata is gentle and timid. It’s because of this that allows them to have an interesting effect on each other. Naruto inspires Hinata to be stronger and braver, and Hinata allows Naruto to be calmer and more vulnerable. Also, it should be noted that Hinata is the only girl who ever made Naruto blush.

I love how when Naruto deeply wants to be acknowledged by people in his village Hinata already did that and was one of the first people to acknowledge him. It moves me how when Naruto was acknowledged by the village for the first time his first thought went to Hinata and what she would think of his heroic win. Also while Hinata’s feelings for Naruto have been explicit from day one Naruto’s feelings for Hinata are more implicit. Kishimoto preferred to voice Naruto’s feelings in how protective he is of her. It’s when he glares at Neji after the Neji vs. Hinata battle and swears to take him down. It’s when Naruto was ready to unleash Kurama onto the world just because he thought Hinata was dead. And if that wasn’t enough Kishimoto even goes out of his way to tell that Naruto is seething with the worst emotions he ever felt. All of that because of Hinata. It’s when he cries out in relief when he realizes Hinata is still alive. It’s when Naruto realizes Hinata is in danger and instinctively wanted to save knowing fully well he would be entrapped in the Infinite Tsukuyomi.

Is this the best romance ever told? Of course not. Could Kishimoto have expanded on it through making Hinata a multifaceted character? Absolutely. However with that said, in the realm of Naruto, Naruhina is easily one of the better-written romantic couples. Kishimoto laid a decent amount of groundwork in order to make Naruhina as an endgame couple work. So yes there’s a good reason to ship Naruhina in canon. I hope that this clarifies enough, dear anon.

#Naruhina #OTP: Proud Failure #Anonymous

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selfships-in-spanish · 3 years

Text

The Queen of Demons 2/?

Pairing: Erwin Smith x OC, Levi Ackerman x OC

Rating: Gen (the rating will go up as the story advances! But it will totally be explicit ;D)

Warnings: None for now, but sexist and misogynist upbringing (Eva's father is a huge asshole).

Word Count: 3449

ALSO POSTED ON AO3

A/N: Second chapter, woooo!! We are slowly getting more into plot details B) There's so much stuff I have already written out that I cannot wait to show you all

CHAPTER 2: THE DEMONS OF ELDIA

Eva tried to control her breathing the best she could while maintaining her gaze on the Chief, frozen.

That imposing figure standing proudly on top of the stairs was her husband to be.

Her father’s voice echoed loudly in her mind, chastising her for her lack of manners. How dare she stare at her betrothed? She was being rude, uncouth, and back in Gottesreich this wouldn’t have gone unpunished.

Eva didn’t see the way those calculating eyes narrowed when she teared her eyes from him and resumed the stance she was taught to maintain: head down in a display of submission, eyes glued to the floor and mouth shut. She also didn’t see a pair of steel gray eyes bore into her, watching every move she made.

The Chief kept talking, despite his inquisitive gaze towards the Princess, while Moblit translated, introducing everyone on his side. It prompted Eva to look up again and meet everyone’s eyes out of courtesy, knowing it would be disrespectful and rude if she didn’t, but never stayed too long as she accidentally did with the Chief.

The Princess was surprised at the variety of shapes and sizes of Eldia’s best warriors, going from tall like that giant with the big nose, moustache and crossed arms –Mike, was it?–, to short and slim, like the man with black hair and impassive grey eyes with a permanent scowl etched on his face –Levi, the Chief’s right hand man, she should really remember that–, and more. But Eva couldn’t hide her shock when she saw women amongst them. This would be absolutely prohibited back in Gottesreich, not to mention the punishment for even thinking of stepping on a man’s role. But these women looked proud, fierce, and Eva couldn’t help but envy such confidence being openly displayed a little bit.

Eva felt her father’s disapproving eyes on the back of her mind, and reprimanded herself internally for even wondering about how it must feel to be in their shoes. Eva had her own role, her own duty to perform, as her Father incessantly reminded her; thinking about such things would lead her nowhere. She was here for one single and very clear purpose.

“Please, come inside, I’m sure we all want to be out of the cold.” Moblit’s calm voice shook her out of her reveries. The Chief gestured behind him, towards the entrance of the Great Hall, with a hand on his belt and his arm open to his side, a polite smile on his lips.

Prince Hans reciprocated the smile, nodding and looking at his siblings as if on cue to follow him inside. Flora and the soldiers that accompanied them were ushered away from the monarchs, only letting the personal bodyguards go in with them, as protocol demanded, and it caused a knot on Eva’s stomach to not know where Flora was being taken. She only hoped they would all be alright. Sensing her distress, Moblit turned to address the royal siblings and ease her mind.

“The horses and luggage will be properly taken care of, as well as your men and maidens, your Highnesses. Any request you shall have please make it known, and we will try our best to comply.” Eva wanted to scoff at that, having several requests herself. She wanted to go home, please.

“Thank you kindly, Moblit.” Prince Hans replied. Eva prayed to God the Eldians would keep their word.

Upon entering the Great Hall warmth instantly greeted them, as well as a breathtaking view. Eva didn’t want to admit it, but the interior of the Great Hall was beautiful. It was composed of wonderfully sculpted wooden pillars with the same intricate markings and runes from outside etched in them, truly the masterpiece of very skilled artisans. She could even make out some animals on the relief carvings, merging with the patterns. The whole room was illuminated with the pale sunlight from the windows, as well as the warm glow of the fires roaring to both light and heat the room better. At the far end of the hall there were more steps, leading to a wooden platform where a big, imposing chair with thick pelts draped over it rested, undoubtedly like a throne. There was a smaller one next to it, with the beautiful markings and soft-looking pelts too, and Eva felt a chill at the realisation that it was for her.

They were led to a table surrounded with chairs, goblets already prepared to be poured wine to the guests. The Chief sat down, inviting his guests to do the same as him and his second in command. The Princes imitated their host, sitting on the opposite chairs and getting comfortable in them, and Eva waited for them to be already seated to do the same, silently, not drawing attention to her and carefully maneuvering her cloak and dress skirts to be in the pose she was taught to sit in: back straight, knees together and hands resting on them, crossed but never closing them in fists, legs–

“Wine, your Highness?” Moblit’s soft voice startled her, looking at the Eldian servant holding the wine decanter right above her goblet, waiting to pour it. Eva quickly looked at her brothers, already having been served and goblets in hand and taking a sip. Even if back at Gottesreich’s court it would be improper for a lady to drink wine out of a social gathering, it would be impolite and disrespectful to refuse.

Be good. Cause a good first impression. Be good. Don’t bring dishonor to your Kingdom. Be good–

“Yes, please.” Eva tried to not let her voice raise too much, knowing she shouldn’t be speaking while her brothers or other men were.

Eva didn’t notice the way the Chief’s eyes quickly shifted to her upon hearing the small exchange, too engrossed on maintaining proper Gottesreichan manners.

The Princess ventured a sip from her goblet and was met with a rich, powerful flavour with a hint of spices in it exploding on her taste buds. Her eyes widened and eyebrows rose, trying not to cough at the strong wine; that would be beyond rude and disrespectful. She gulped down the Eldian wine, hoping no one noticed it.

One of the Chief’s warriors, the giant one (Mike! She had to start remembering names), huffed, amused at her reaction. Her wish was not met as she also saw the Chief chuckle into his own goblet while listening to Moblit’s translations.

Perfect. Just perfect. Way to make good impressions.

The conversation seemed to momentarily change its topic as the Chief asked something and everyone became silent. Moblit’s voice made her look up from her goblet.

“Not used to strong wines, your Highness?

Eva’s gaze briefly traveled from Moblit to the Chief, who was looking at her with the corner of his mouth lifted, as well as one of his bushy eyebrows. The Princess hurriedly looked at her brothers, who were awaiting as well. Hans encouraged her with a slight nod. They were waiting for her response.

Oh.

“I am deeply sorry, my Lord, I meant no disrespect.” Her grip on the goblet tightened, trying her hardest to not let her voice waver. “I am indeed not used to strong flavoured wines, or wines themselves.” She tried to finish with a polite smile.

The Chief’s eyes had a curious glint in them, nodding at Moblit’s words. He replied something, and Eva dreadfully awaited Moblit’s translation. She really hoped she didn’t offend him or any of the Eldians present.

“Then, what are you used to, your Highness?”

This much attention on her was making her nervous. They shouldn’t be focusing the conversation on her, there were more important matters to discuss than her tastes!

“Coffee. Or tea, also, my Lord. But do not fret over it, I am sure I will get used to wine in no time.”

Would she? Eva doubted it, but if she had to, she would. Although she would deeply miss her morning cup of coffee…

The Chief hummed, instantly turning to one of his men to tell them something, and Eva watched as the warrior disappeared to carry on the Chief’s errand. She looked back at the Chief, seeing him share a brief smile at her before returning to the previous topic.

Eva tried to pay attention, but the thought of having hurt the Eldian’s feelings gnawed at her.

The warrior returned some time after with a steaming cup in his hands. Eva noticed he was that short warrior that stood next to the Chief when both parties presented themselves, with the cold and impassive grey eyes. He offered the cup to Eva, patiently waiting for her to take it. The Princess obliged, thanking him even if she knew he probably didn’t understand a word she said.

“My apologies for not having coffee, your Highness. I hope tea can suffice.” Moblit once again spoke to her, the Chief turning to face her in his chair, awaiting her response.

“Please don’t apologise, my Lord. This is more than enough.” Eva briefly looked down at the cup, then up at the Chief with another polite smile. “I am thankful for your kindness.”

Smile, smile, smile. Always smile.

Trying to divert everyone’s attention away from her and let the conversation go back to where it was, Eva ventured a taste. Her nose picked up the delicious aroma of the tea, and her mouth was filled by the sweet flavour, finishing with a touch of spiciness at the end that made her want more. Eva raised her brows, surprised but satisfied. She took another sip, erasing any traces left of the wine from before. It wasn’t coffee, but this tea was an agreeable alternative.

“I take it you liked it, your Highness.” The Chief wasn’t done with the conversation, and Eva didn’t understand why the Chief was so adamant to make her talk, or even try to engage her into a conversation besides the ones between the princes and himself. She wasn’t there for that.

“I do, my Lord. This is a blend I haven’t had the chance to try before, thank you for letting me have a taste of it.”

The Chief let out a soft chuckle and began talking again. Eva awaited Moblit’s translations, delicately holding her cup.

“Ah, I’m afraid I am not the tea expert here. Levi is, so please feel free to ask him more about his blends.” The Chief gestured towards the short warrior, who nodded in acknowledgement.

“I will. Thank you, my Lord.” Another polite smile on her lips.

That seemed to end the conversation for now. Eva kept drinking the tea, listening to what was being said. She shouldn’t zone out, not when this concerns her too.

The Gottesreichan Princes excused the King for not coming himself to Eldia because of urgent matters that required his presence, but Eva knew the truth behind that, having heard her father with the other advisors in the throne room already discussing plans beyond her daughter’s marriage, and being greeted by her brothers the same day they departed with sad smiles on their faces.

It left a bitter taste in her mouth, knowing the King, her own father, couldn’t stay away one minute from his plans on how to maintain the Kingdom’s borders, or how to expand them, too.

He didn’t even think about walking her to her awaiting carriage, and she was graced only by a quick kiss on her forehead when Eva went to look for him and found the King still in his chambers. But her father made sure she didn’t forget how his daughter would represent their beloved Kingdom in foreign territories, how she had to bring both civilization and manners to the barbarians. All this, while intensely staring at the map hanging on his wall.

Not a single look at her.

The King was not at the courtyard to send them off. Did not wave goodbye, did not do what any father would do when they knew their daughter would never come home again to start a new life somewhere far away. He only expected her to do a good job as she was taught to do.

This is all Eva knew about fatherhood from the day she was born, an absent paternal figure that only looked at her when she did good. And she always strived to do good. She had to. Father would spare a glance if she did.

Hans often tried to unconsciously supply and fill that void her father left when he wasn’t chained down by his own princely duties, recalling when she was a little girl how he would take her to the Capital’s festivities and let her stuff her mouth full of sweets. Or when he would indulge in her imagination and games, running around the castle slaying dragons, which often made Friederich play the part of the dragon going down with theatrics that put court jesters to shame, or playing hide and seek, or when the royal tailor made a new dress for her how he would compliment and praise the craftsmanship, and of course how she looked pretty in it.

The days where both her brothers took her on strolls around the Castle woods were the happiest for her, getting to hop from horse to horse and run around the meadow without being reprimanded for it. Rolling in the grass, chasing birds and squirrels, picking up flowers to make flower crowns that would lately put them on both her brother’s heads...

Sadly it ended when Father decided it was time for Eva to start her studies and long preparation to be his perfect little princess. Her brothers had less and less time to spend with her, and Hans was almost absent all the time with the pressure of being the Crown Prince.

Still, Hans and Friederich found a little loophole in Father’s strict schedule, using their diplomatic travels as a perfect excuse to make their little sister tag along, always with the excuse to further prepare her for her upcoming future.

But now there was no little loophole anymore.

The Chief and the Gottesreichan princes were discussing dates and procedures, and agreed on carrying on the Eldian traditions and rituals, as well as have the ceremony here in Eldia. Eva had uselessly hoped it would maybe be carried in Gottesreich, respecting the bride’s lineage, or maybe a double one, but her wishes would not be granted. She drowned her sigh with a sip of her tea.

They finally decided that a spring wedding would be the best, knowing the roads were hard to travel with the immense amounts of snow in them, and they wouldn’t want the guests to be inconvenienced by it. Besides, for Eldia spring was important, and it would be just perfect to celebrate a wedding. The Chief tried to include the Princess on this decision, asking her if she liked spring, which she replied that she did, not really enjoying the cold.

That settled it then. It meant two months of preparations, approximately. Maybe a few weeks less, depending on the weather conditions.

Two months.

Dread twisted her stomach.

“I hope you will find your life here pleasant, your Highness. I understand the shock and differences between our people, but we will accommodate you the best of our capabilities.”

The Chief was paying attention to her again. Why? Why was he trying to fake kindness? Eva knew he only pretended because her brothers were present, why else would he? Eva was just an asset, a bargaining chip, so why go to such lengths for someone from another Kingdom such as her? A twisted sense of humour? That would fit, weren’t they demons?

Her father made her memorise the words and movements she was about to spit and act out, telling Eva how that is what every man wanted to hear from their future bride. Eva found the comment crass, even coming from Father, but still complied as she was trained to do.

Eva set the cup on the wooden table, moving gracefully as she let her right hand touch her heart, lowering her head in the submissive display she was taught to never slip out of.

“Thank you for your consideration towards my well-being, my Lord.” Head still lowered, eyes closed— “I hope I can perform my marital duties beyond your expectations, my Lord, and that I am to your liking. I will do my best to ensure your needs are met and fulfilled.”

Eva then resumed her previous position as she heard Moblit translate her words. Eva ventured a look towards her brothers, finding twin saddened expressions on their faces. She was shocked. Did she not do good? Alarmed, the Princess looked over the Chief, pushing aside the protocols and needing to know she did not displease the Chief, that Father wasn’t wrong.

The Chief looked troubled himself, as if some suspicions and thoughts he had from before had been confirmed right that instant. No no no– this was disastrous! Father told her it was imperative she did it, that it was what those brutes wanted from their wives, so why was the Chief not overjoyed to see such an obedient, docile behaviour from her?

The Eldian warrior looked like he wanted to say something that was on his mind, but ultimately decided to close his mouth. The Chief seemed to thoroughly think about what his next actions and words should be, so instead of replying to the Princess as she thought he would do, with a lecherous and satisfied smirk, he chose to tightly smile and bow his head as if in acknowledgement of her words.

It didn’t settle well in her stomach, and Eva had never been more confused than she was right now.

What was this man playing at?

Moblit’s strong but soft voice cut through her musings.

“You surely must be tired from the journey, your Highnesses. Please, allow us to escort you to your rooms so you can rest until tonight’s banquet. Baths will be ready, too.”

Yes please! Eva wanted nothing more than to run to the safety of four walls and a tightly closed door, and Flora to embrace her like she always did when Eva got overwhelmed.

“We indeed are, thank you. Those carriages don’t do anyone’s back a favour.” Hans laughed, accompanied by Friederich’s chuckle and the Chief’s shaking of shoulders. Eva was eagerly awaiting for Hans to get up so she could follow and get out of there, too. A warm bath sounded so nice. “Eva, do you mind going before us?”

Wait.

What?

From Hans apologetic face, and Friederich’s gaze avoiding her, this was something they had planned beforehand.

“Brother,” Eva tried not to raise her voice or make her desperation known. She didn’t want to go alone, to be alone with those people supposedly taking her to her rooms. What if they didn’t? “please.”

“Eva,” Hans turned to face her, getting a hold of her tightly clasped hands. “we are deeply sorry– no, don’t give me that look, we are.”

Like Hell they were!

“Hey, Birdie” Friederich always used that nickname with her since they were little kids, so him using it right now conflicted Eva’s feelings. Her brother always used it when he wanted to make her feel safe, but right now it wasn’t really working. “Trust us. We will be right behind you, okay?”

“But–“

“We only need to discuss some matters, that’s all.”

“Hans–”

“Yes, very boring matters that will make you fall asleep. You go rest, Birdie.”

When her brothers synched with each other it was a losing battle for Eva. Knowing this, she promptly closed her mouth into a thin line, resigned. Swallowing down a sigh, Eva forced a smile on her lips as she spoke to the Eldians, focusing on the Chief.

“Excuse me for my behaviour, my Lord. I will gladly take your offer and let you men discuss what you need to talk about.”

The Chief nodded, asking Levi once again to comply with his requests and accompany the Princess to her room, taking almost every guard with him. Eva gracefully raised herself from her seat, making a short reverence to the people present in the room.

“Thank you for the tea, my Lord, it was most delicious.”

Eva followed Levi to exit the Great Hall, leaving the three men inside and trying hard not to dwell in it. She had no right to pry into men’s matters, and she best accepted it quickly. They watched her disappear through the door with Mike’s towering form closing the little entourage.

It hurt both brothers, but it had to be done.

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