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selfships-in-spanish · 2 years

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The Queen of Demons 6/?

Pairing: Erwin Smith x OC, Levi Ackerman x OC

Rating: Mature (the rating will go up as the story advances!). We start on the steamy thoughts here 👀

Warnings: None for now, but sexist and misogynist upbringing (Eva’s father is a huge asshole), ANXIETY. Lots of anxiety. Poor Eva :_)

Word Count: 23.006 (good luck dsjfajfksd)

ALSO POSTED ON AO3

A/N: SO. I’M ALIVE. I haven’t been much on Tumblr, but not on other social media either (unless it’s Twitter, I spend time there xD). As I said on earlier asks, I’m super busy with life itself and I haven’t been able to update anything here, but I’ll try my best to do so!

I’m currently writing chapter 7 and bOY IS IT CHARGED WITH TENSION. As if it wasn’t before with chapter 6... we go a step further B) I always feel so sorry for Eva and how I put her through tough and complicated moments... but it will all be worth it, my girl <3 just you wait.

I hope you like this one! I did it super fucking long because it had a lot to unpack, but as well as an apology for the lack of more continuous updates.

Still, feel free to ask about it anytime! Here on Tumblr or Twitter 😊

Enjoy!!

CHAPTER 6: A CARING DEVIL

Eva couldn’t fall asleep at night.

She spent it tossing and turning, her guts twisting into tight and hurtful knots. Her eyes didn’t have any more tears left to shed and her stomach emptied everything that was in it. Flora had been by her side the entire time, giving her a soothing tea to drink, begging her to do so, and handing her a cloth to wipe her mouth with.

Somehow, amidst the pain and tears, Eva managed a restless, almost useless and brief shut-eye. The sun began to raise, signaling the start of the day with the rooster’s crow. She didn’t want to face the day. She couldn’t. Not when her tiny shred of happiness was ripped apart from her.

The feeling of emptiness froze her body, the thought of her brothers leaving, not knowing when would they see each other again, twisted the knife inside her guts further. Eva was not stupid, she knew this would have happened eventually, but not so sudden, so soon. She didn’t have time to mentally prepare for the fact that she was to be forgotten by Gottesreich, by Father. Eva thought her brothers would stay at least a week, help her settle, help her come to terms with the inevitable reality of her fate in Eldia, as the Chieftain’s wife, but they just got here. There were so many things she wanted to ask and talk about with Hans and Friederich, so many questions for Hans about how to understand her future husband, since he was already married to Emma.

It… it was not fair.

She instantly regretted that thought, Father’s angry eyes flashing in her mind. She was selfish, she was a spoiled brat, she—

“Princess?” Eva turned her head to Flora, who brought a basin with steaming water and another clean cloth. Her poor handmaiden had bags under her eyes too, like herself, and the guilt inside her deepened, feeling like a monster for burdening those she loved even further.

Flora did not even let her open her mouth, knowing what words would follow judging by the culpability etched in her expression. Flora swallowed a sigh, knowing that it would not help her friend, and gently sat down next to the disheveled Princess after leaving the basin on top of the nightstand. The handmaiden lifted her hand, softly tucking a stray strand of hair behind the Princess’ ear, cupping her face.

“You are strong, my Princess.”

“I am not, Flora. I’m–” a sob. “I don’t–”

Flora gathered Eva in her arms, shushing her like a mother would her child. Flora did have plenty of thoughts and opinions about King Nikolaus, and each one of them fed her displeasure for her King, living in the same walls opening her own eyes to his tyrany. How could he, first of all, do this to his own daughter? How could he demand for her brothers to drop her off here, in Eldia, in the middle of winter and then make them leave immediately after? Did he not care for his daughter’s wellbeing? Her successful integration? Life? Happiness–?

No. He did not.

Flora sadly had witnessed what his rage could accomplish, what his anger was capable of, even on his supposedly most loved ones. On his daughter. She never wanted to see what happened that day ever again. It wasn’t a secret– everyone feared King Nikolaus, but those living inside the Palace, more.

And no-one dared to go against his will.

“Eva,” Flora rocked them back and forth, hands stroking her arms and back. “You are strong. And capable. And lovable. I will be here for you, help you in any way I can. You have me, I’m not going anywhere.”

“You’re stuck here with me and–”

“Even if it’s my duty as your handmaiden, I am also your friend. I’d go to the ends of Earth and face the gates of Hell with you.”

“But–” Eva peeled herself away from Flora, eyes red and puffy.

“So, what’s a tribe of demons going to do, huh?” Flora held her face with both her hands, making the Princess look directly at her. “I’ll exorcise them if I have to. Actually, I think I packed a copy of the Holy Scriptures somewhere...”

That won Flora a wet snort, smiling herself on making the Princess do the same.

“You will be alright, Eva.” Flora brought both their faces close, touching her forehead on the Princess’ as they used to do as children. “You will succeed and thrive.”

“With you by my side.”

“With me by your side. Always.”

She was not alright.

The cold from outside was laughable compared to what she felt inside her body.

Hans and Friederich had twin somber expressions and matching dark circles like their sister. Rage, ire and helplessness kept them awake, the first brother in a silent contemplation, and the second brother angrily muttering his opinions.

With each step she took towards her brothers Eva felt as if her weight had multiplied, as if she was sinking further and further into the snow. The Chief was already with them, accompanied by Moblit also, who was quickly translating Friederich’s angry Gottesreichan. The Chieftain nodded at his words, replying with that deep voice of his. Hans kept pinching the bridge of his nose, his brows in a permanent frown, as he joined the conversation too.

The four men turned around when they heard Eva and Flora’s footsteps, accompanied by Mike and Gelgar, the giant warrior making their presence officially known by saying some words in Eldian, saluting their Chief afterwards. Hans and Friederich’s gazes softened upon seeing their sister, knowing perfectly well how she was not handling this situation well, even if she tried to hide it, and just how unfair and opposed they were, too. Moblit’s brows knit in concern, already thinking to go and ask Hange for anything that could help the Princess calm down. Even the Chief let out a soft sigh, feeling sorry. Eva was too numb to notice it all.

Eva respectfully bowed to the men before her, forcing herself to wish them a good morning. It pained Hans and Friederich to see her sister fight with all her will the tears that were threatening to spill at any moment, forcing herself a timid, false smile that was undoubtedly a mask, her desolate gaze saying it all— she had always been an open book, something their father often scolded her for it. Hans hated it, hated him. Hans remembers how delighted he had been when their mother announced she was pregnant. Friederich too, although he wasn’t as conscious of what was happening due to his younger age, but it had been a source of happiness for the Royal Family. It had been one of the few times Father genuinely smiled. It all went to hell when their mother passed away during childbirth, casting an everlasting and somber shadow over the Royal Family. Hans remembers a brief source of hate towards his own sister for it, for taking away their mother from him, from them, but when he saw a tiny, chubby and defenseless baby crying for her mother, desperately craving a warm embrace, tiny hands grabbing his finger in a vice grip and instantly calming down, and how that baby grew into their small, tiny and innocent sister, a vivid image of their mother, he felt despicable. How could he have hated his sister? When she ran to him, smiling, showing him a pretty flower she found in the Palace Gardens? How could he have brushed off all her desperate attempts at some warmth from her own family? He felt like a heartless monster.

Hans only wanted to protect his sister.

To take her away from Father and his poisonous hands.

But, somehow, Father had managed to hurt her again, in the distance, as if it had been a very carefully crafted plan to still punish her for her “crime”. He always blamed it on the magical creatures Mother had been so fond of, but deep down blamed his own daughter, too. She just looked too much like her mother for his father to have done something about it. Instead, he took it out on her.

Miserable coward.

Both the Chieftain and Moblit took a few steps back, joining Mike and Gelgar and giving the royal siblings some privacy to say their farewells.

Hans opened his mouth to speak, to break that thick, suffocating silence between them all, but Eva beat him to it, as she always did.

“I hope you both have a safe and pleasant journey back home.” That fake, trembling smile on her lips. “Please be mindful of the ice and don’t linger much more here or the roads will get even more dangerous.” Hans knew Eva rehearsed those lines in her head, judging by the emotionless pitch in her voice, but still her voice was on the verge of breaking at some words. “Don’t worry about me, I’ll accomplish my duties as—”

“Eva, please.” Hans would describe himself as a proud man who never begged, like Friederich, but for her sister he would get on his knees, if needed. “Please, allow yourself to cry. To feel.”

“Brother, I should not, as it is expected of me as Princess of—”

“Bullshit!” Hans’ contained roar shocked Eva into silence. Friederich eyed his brother, ready to punch his own sibling for making her cry, like when they were kids, but silently agreed on his thoughts. “That is pure, utter bullshit. Please Eva, I am begging you, forget about Father, forget about the shit he fed you.” Eva’s scandalized gasp fuelled his words, even Flora looked up from her spot behind the Princess, eyeing incredulous at the outburst of the Crown Prince. He was right, though, but still shocking as the Crown Prince never lost his composure before.

“Brother—!”

“No! Can’t you see? Please, can’t you see the poison he fed you?” The sorrow behind his eyes clouded Eva’s resolve for a moment, but she couldn’t— wouldn’t—

“Poison? What pois— I cannot question my King, even less my Father—” Hans knew where her automatic, defensive stance came from. Who wouldn’t retreat to that blind shell she put herself in, after that day? After what their father forced her to retreat to? It was sickening to see how far his venom had spread.

“Eva,” Hans let out a defeated sigh. This was not the way he wanted to part from his sister, with spiteful and angry words. He willed himself to calm down. “I’m asking you this as your brother, as someone who loves you—” suddenly his vision started to blur. Shit. He was not ready, either. Would he be, though, in other circumstances? “Goddamnit.”

“Hans?” Eva timidly raised her hands, reaching out for her brother.

In a gesture completely out of protocol, throwing all their etiquette, all their propriety and formalities out to the wind, Hans took a step closer and hugged his sister in a bone-crushing, tight embrace. There was so much he wanted to say, so many things he wanted to tell Eva, and they had run out of time. Who knew when he would be able to come visit his sister again, or just see her.

He may be dead before that.

Hans tightened his arms, trying to put all his feelings and thoughts into it, as if it could speak for him.

“I love you, I love you so much—” Hans' broken voice shattered the valiant effort for Eva to not cry in front of her brothers, of the Chief, the village— it only helped her tears to flow freely down her cheeks, soaking the Gottesreichan winter cloak and his own cheeks and beard, trying to stifle her sobs. “Never forget that, you hear me? You are my sister and I love you so much—” Hans’ own wet whisper both broke and warmed her heart. Eva hugged him back, snuggling further into his embrace. “Please allow yourself happiness and—”

“Please write—” Eva’s own voice was coated with sadness and desperation, her face wet and blotchy from allowing herself to cry on his brother’s shoulder. “Please do it, please write to me, allow me this selfish request—”

“I will, I’ll send you letters. And Emma too—”

“Yes! Please—” Hans wetly chuckled.

“She likes to write, expect small novels for letters.”

“Better for me, I’ll answer with the same amount. Or more.”

Hans let go of her as his shoulders shook in amusement, his hands still holding her trembling arms.

“Good, she adores your handwriting.” Hans’ teary smile was contagious and Eva corresponded him with one of her own, swallowing down in an attempt to will her tears down.

“Expect mine too, Birdie.” Friederich sniffed, clearing his throat in an attempt to will his own tears away.

“Your illegible chicken scribbles?” Hans turned to their brother with his eyebrows raised, mocking, although his tear-streaked face lessened the effect.

“Oi!”

“It’s okay, I’ll love to pass my time here trying to decipher what you meant to tell me in your letters.”

“That’s a low blow, Blueberry.” A gasp.

“You’re low for using that nickname.”

Friederich snorted, a teary grin on his lips.

“I’m your brother, I can do what I want.”

“Tyrant.”

A Chuckle.

“Come here—” Friederich opened his arms too, Eva hesitant at first to comply, still scandalized at how they were all but proper, away from their supposed mannerisms coming from a royal status, but finally went and let herself be embraced by her own brother. Friederich sighed. “Eva, allow yourself to be happy, please.” he muttered into the shell of her ear.

“But I—”

“Please.” Friederich tightened his arms, too, as their brother did before. “Allow yourself things. Let Flora take care of you, hell, let Erwin take care of you—” at the name of her fiancé Eva visibly tensed, her fingers digging into his cloak. “He is a good man. Trust me, trust me and Hans on this.”

“How… how can you be so sure?” If Eva's tone was slightly apprehensive and showed mistrust, Friederich did not comment on it, understanding the doubts she had.

Friederich let go of his sister, keeping his eyes focused on hers and his hands on her shoulders.

“We wouldn’t let you stay in his care if we didn’t.”

Eva looked down and away from his stare, wanting to believe his words, the Chief’s words, but a part of her inside was fearful the Chief fed them only lies, as Father said Eldians did.

“Deceiving, two-faced bastards— Insincere, lying, tricky foxes— Demons—!”

Rarely did Father speak so spitefully of someone. Father often badmouthed about quite a lot of people, but never in such a violent, enraged way, which only fed Eva’s confusion as to why he would marry her off to an Eldian Demon. Father must have had a reason and she was not going to question it. It was not her place. She learned quickly not to trespass the line.

Friederich sighed.

“You will see the truth in our words, and the Chief’s ones, in time.

“I pray you are right.”

“Be strong, Eva. You will be safe here, okay? Everything will be alright.”

Eva intuited there was something else her brothers were not telling her, judging by the urgency of both her brother’s words into trying to reassure her of her safety and well-being. Was there a crusade Father wanted them to engage in? Some court matters she did not have the privilege to know or attend to? Was Gottesreich in danger? So many questions and no time. It only frustrated her further.

“I’ll try.” Eva knew she would try, but she didn’t believe in her strength.

Friederich’s lips pulled into a soft and small smile, his hands coming up to Eva’s face to wipe at the tears.

“I’ll miss your nagging because I ate dessert before the main dishes at the Palace.” Eva snorted, kicking a small amount of snow over Friederich’s boot.

“When you do, think of me telling you how much of an uncouth savage you are.”

Eva smiled sadly. She will miss those moments. The sibling bickering, the maids trying to hide their smiles, the cooks sneakily passing some freshly baked cookies underneath their doors…

Taking a deep breath and righting her posture, quickly wiping at her still teary eyes, the Princess walked back to where her handmaiden stood, trying to keep her composure in check this time.

“Flora,” the handmaiden stood straighter, looking back up again and at the Crown Prince. “Please take care of my sister, and yourself, too.”

“I will, Your Highness.” Flora bowed, quick. “Your sister will be in my care.”

“Then we will return home with a less heavier heart.” Friederich answered, smiling. Eva had never seen him like that before, that soft pull of his lips. “We entrust her to you, Flo.”

Flora nodded, trying to reassure her prince with a matching soft smile.

“I will do my best, Your Highness.”

Hans turned towards the Eldian warriors, where the Chieftain had patiently waited. The Eldians stepped closer, knowing it was the final moment. The Gottesreichan princes had to part soon.

“Chieftain Erwin,” Moblit began translating again. “Thank you for your warm welcome and honouring us with your people’s rich culture. We do not wish to part so soon, and hoped to experience more of it, but sadly we have been recalled in urgency by our father.” Hans had to make the public speech, had to keep appearances, but both him and Erwin had already talked. Privately, without prying ears. The next step of the plan was finally happening, the long awaited one. “Your hospitality made us feel at home in our short stay, and we hope both you and Princess Eva may find happiness with each other in this new step of your lives. We entrust our sister in your care, and we part knowing she will be in good hands.”

And safe.

And secure.

And away from the bloodshed.

The Chief bowed, solemnly, with his fist on his heart, and reciprocated Prince Hans’ words with his own. Both men exchanged a knowing gaze, shaking their hands firmly. Friederich was next, his hand squeezing the Eldian leader’s in a tight grip, trying to convey without Moblit’s help what he wanted to say.

Protect her, please.

The Chieftain nodded, knowing exactly what was going on inside the prince’s head, that fierce glare he was known for directed at him. Erwin matched his tightening fist, hoping it would suffice for now. Friederich seemed pleased enough, so he let go.

With one last look back at their sister, both Princes climbed into their carriages, the Gottesreichan soldiers holding their respective doors open and closing them with what for Eva was a deafening thud. The Eldian Chief’s voice roared over the slight breeze, addressing his own Eldian warriors who proudly puffed their chests out at the words of their leader. Before the drivers clicked their tongues to signal the horses to move, the Eldian warriors performed the eldian salute, proceeding then to escort the Gottesreichans all over their territory until they reached the border.

In a slow march, the soldiers, warriors and carriages started their journey back to Gottesreich.

Eva knew a piece of her happiness, of her own self, tore itself apart from her and parted along with her brothers. The Chief knew it too, looking at the carriages disappearing out of their sights as they followed the path outside the village. Flora knew she would have to use all her assets and tricks to keep her Princess’ spirits high enough to not fall into a deep and dark depression. She stepped closer to her, one hand tugging her own cloak closed and the the other one sneaking past her layers of clothing, as well as the Princess’, to intertwine their fingers, squeezing them in a silent show of support. Eva let her, squeezing them back as an answering thank you.

That dim, flickering fire Erwin saw inside the Princess, begging to grow, to be fed more wood so it could shine and warm as it should… blew out.

Erwin felt sorry for her. He truly did.

The only comfort he felt was that King Nikolaus would eventually pay.

Oh yes, he will.

A week had passed since her brother’s departure.

Eva hoped they arrived safely back home and also that Father would be in his most… merciful self possible. The warriors who parted to escort them were already back, and from what Eva could see, no setbacks had happened. That was good, Eva remembers the eldian roads to be scary, specially at night.

Their farewell still felt like a blunt, cold ache inside of her, dulling any uplifting moments she could have, and poisoning any positive thoughts. Like earlier.

Or yesterday.

Or any other day since her brothers left.

The Chieftain apparently had made it his mission to bring a gift to her everyday. It confused Eva, although the gifts were thoughtful in a way, surprising the Princess how the Chief found time to rack his brain and think of her, knowing how busy a leader could be. It puzzled her, not understanding why would he try to understand her, walk in her shoes— how many noblewomen and princesses had already complained to her about how their husbands did not care for them? Why was he being different? What was his ulterior motive?

He came every day to deliver them. Personally.

The first time the Chieftain came he had a beautiful bouquet of winter miracles mixed with other invernal flowers like purple pansies and crocus, freshly picked and exquisitely arranged. No doubt someone did it for him— Eva couldn’t fathom seeing the barbarian warrior do such a delicate job. Flora practically ran to find a vase in the guest house to put the flowers in, her eyes shining with that excitement Eva dreaded.

The Princess tried not to panic as she was left alone with the Chieftain, who awkwardly stood in the doorway waiting for Flora to come back. Eva held the huge bouquet in her hands, grateful to have them occupied; the tension was choking her. How she wished they spoke the same language, but then again, it spared her from small and meaningless chit-chat. But she had to do something, to be polite to her guest… although she was the guest herself. Well, not really, but—

Eva internally groaned.

Do something!

Eva looked around, still not entirely familiar with the guest house itself, and spotted the freshly brewed tea Flora just made for them both. Perfect. The Princess cleared her throat, catching the Chieftain’s attention, and part of her wished she didn’t— his blue eyes directed at her were such an intense shade she didn’t know how to feel about them yet. They were beautiful, yes, but— but now was not the time to think about them. The tea. Offer the tea.

The Princess held the bouquet with her arm and hand, sparing the other to point it towards the tea waiting to be served. Her eyes quickly shifted to its direction, emphasizing her silent offer with raised brows and a forced smile as she looked back to the Chief. The Chieftain’s gaze moved from her eyes towards the tea, shifting back to her, as if he had been in a daze. Was she being so unclear?

“Some tea, my Lord?” Eva wanted to smack herself. What part of her mind did not understand that the Chief did not speak Gottesreichan? It had been instinctual, but her mouth moved faster than her mind could comprehend the sheer stupidity she just did. Still, that seemed to snap the man out of it.

The Chief opened his mouth to say something, but, following the same train of thought as the Princess, refrained, since it would be futile too. He closed it, shifted on his feet and ultimately decided to shake his head, hoping it would suffice. It did, but didn’t lessen the awkwardness of the situation or the Princess’ tight, uncomfortable smile.

This was disastrous.

Thankfully, Flora returned with a vase she found in the kitchen, carefully setting it down on a nearby table. The handmaiden took the bouquet from the Princess’ hands, putting them inside the vase and rearranging some of the flowers that got moved with Flora’s fussing. They were truly beautiful.

Now Eva had her hands empty and didn’t know what to do with them. She almost grabbed her dress skirts, as she used to do as a child when she was nervous, but her governess had chastised her so often for it she refrained herself, opting instead to hold them together, one on top of the other, as she was taught. Composure, that was everything in court, to keep one’s composure. But back to the Chief, should she offer again? Offer something else? What could she even offer?

Flora’s return made the Chief right himself back up, his mouth pulled into a quick smile as he did the Eldian salute and bowed, taking this as his signal to leave the women be. He left without another word, almost as if he was in a hurry.

Both women watched, wordlessly and a bit confused, the Chief’s massive back disappear into the snowy day, closing the door after him.

Flora was the first to speak.

“What on earth have you done to the poor Chieftain?”

Eva was equally perplexed.

“I have no idea.”

The second gift was equally and painfully awkward. This time it was a small envelope, a single winter miracle resting on it and secured by the thread holding it all together. Eva opened it, willing her fingers not to tremble under the Chieftain’s gaze, joined today by Levi, and mindful to not tear the cloth wrapping it or wrinkle the winter miracle.

Inside the magnificently crafted wood box rested one of the most beautiful hairpins Eva ever saw. It was made from gold and deeper blue turquoise gemstones, shaped into a gold branch with leaves and flowers coming out of them, little pearls embedded in the flower’s center. It was impressive. Such attention to detail in the gold branch… the artisan who made this, engraving little tree lines to make it more realistic, as well as the flower stamens and leaf nerves, was a true master of the arts. Eva was speechless. Flora was the one who muffled a gasp.

It was known, besides their military prowess, that Eldia had been blessed with precious resources like gemstones and metals. Eva thought that was the main reason for their union, so Father could secure and establish a trading route, and for both countries to benefit from each other’s resources: Eldia from Gottesreich’s trading routes and Gottesreich from Eldia’s precious and sought materials.

This must have cost a fortune, dear Lord.

Eva felt her cheeks redden suddenly. Why on earth would he give her this? This… this was so much. Too much! She couldn’t accept this gift, but at the same time if she didn’t it would be a rude gesture, triggering bad relations at the very start of their life together. Her hands were tied. Damn it!

Still, Eva ventured a quick, bewildered look at the Chief. He seemed to nervously await her response at his present, fidgeting almost imperceptibly from one foot to another as he looked straight at her. The Princess fully turned to him with the closed wooden box squished on her heart, her other hand lifting her skirts in what she hoped was a bow that would speak for her gratitude. If she spoke right now, she would stammer. The Chieftain seemed pleased enough with the response, and as he denied the Princess offer for some tea, he and Levi exited the guest house, going back to their duties for the day.

Eva sat down as Flora squealed for her. She lost her voice.

The Princess did not fail to notice how the Chieftain’s chest puffed in pride at seeing his gift in use at dinner, Flora choosing a dress for Eva that matched the hairpin’s blue stone.

Thick and warm gloves with beautiful embroidery work followed next. A new brush made from perfectly polished silver and precious gems, the cedars perfectly trimmed, for the next day. An eldian perfume made of its characteristic and autochthonous flowers, accompanied by a fresher bouquet, the same one the Chief gave her the first day, for the fifth day. A porcelain cup set, magnificently painted, for the sixth. On the seventh day, the Chief gifted her some sort of eldian shawl, a beautiful dark blue dye with a tartan pattern —the same one the Chief wore on his sash— and fringes on the hems. A note in Gottesreichan, that Moblit undoubtedly wrote, explained how this was, indeed, a traditional eldian garment for the women, who wore this with an also traditional dress that the seamstresses were already working on, but they needed her measures first to ensure it would fit. The shawl was also used indoors, perfect to keep warm and move around the house.

Huh, this one was going to be useful.

Eva allowed herself to accept those gifts, a little bit touched that the Chief went out of his way this much for her. For her. It caused confusion in her mind, sometimes catching herself believing in her brother’s words.

He is a good man.

Maybe he was.

Trust me, trust me and Hans on this.

Maybe she will.

It was true that those gifts warmed her heart a little bit. Flora praised the new brush to the heavens, marveling on the soft bristles and how easy it was to handle it. The perfume was fresh and the scent of the flowers not too overwhelming or overpowering, like those noblewomen who wore those nose-clogging perfumes. The gloves were a lifesaver for her poor hands and the unforgiving cold of an eldian winter, silently thanking the Chieftain for them when he took her for a daily walk around the village, people stopping them to talk to the Chieftain and his fiancé. Eva could only look at the eldians with a smile on her face, not understanding a lick of what was being said.

Sometimes she caught the eldian leader looking at her with a different light in his eyes as she bent down to the children, letting them put flowers on her hair like the day of the hunting ritual, this time not faking her smile; Eva could never deny children, no matter where they came from.

The adaptation period wasn't being… that bad, but still, it was bad. The Chief tried to lessen it by paying attention to her, taking her on walks, the gifts, showing her things from the village she understood half of due to the lack of knowledge from them both of each other’s languages. But still, he was relentless and tried to beat that language barrier.

The Chief gingerly invited her to drink in one of their daily walks, a hot beverage that smelt sweet and strong, and discovered it was some sort of spiced warm wine. At first Eva wrinkled her nose. Warm wine? But after her third sip, she welcomed the heat, the spice and the warmth it spread across her entire body. Eva’s heart softened when the Chief even invited some to her handmaiden too, glad he was quick enough to catch how important Flora was for the Princess, and how the poor girl needed something to warm her hands with. The Chief did not make any move or gesture to acknowledge how the Princess held his arm tighter, or how she began to walk closer to him out of her own volition. His lips pulled into a smile, though, when his nose picked up the perfume he gave her, as well as the hairpin.

But, Eva felt the ache in her heart deepen at night, or when she was reminded of little memories from back at the palace, or from lunch or dinner, missing her brothers harmlessly bickering as usual before Father appeared. If she was being honest with herself, in her most intimate and private thoughts, where she hoped God wouldn’t judge her for it… Eva did not miss Father’s presence, almost relieved of not feeling those judgmental and piercing gaze continuously glued in her nape.

Most of all, she missed her morning coffee.

Eva was dragged out of the comfort of her room here in Eldia by three very chatty and very bossy old ladies. They kept prattling non-stop, waving their hands and urging the Princess to tag along even though Eva still couldn’t understand a lick of Eldian. Eva looked back at Flora as she was being pushed through the door while getting her winter cloak draped on her shoulders, dread knotting on her guts as her handmaiden was forbidden to go with her, the three elder ladies gesturing and barking at her to stay.

The freezing breeze of winter hit her face, and Eva desperately wanted to go back inside and curl in front of the fire. The three elder women kept tugging at her sleeves, still chatting and gingerly walking, and Eva looked around the village to see if someone would save her from them and what they had planned. Sadly for her, the streets were deserted.

The sun was setting and there was an eerie air in the village that deeply unsettled Eva. Normally its residents would still be quite busy, like the bees in spring, but the whole village was… quiet. The few faces she saw looked at her with a solemn air in them, not harsh but unreadable; they kind of reminded her of the Chief’s own face. Maybe it was an Eldian trait?

Uneasiness kept filling Eva’s mind as she was taken further into the village, right to a very old but meticulously maintained house. It shared the similar markings on the front pillars and doors as the other houses in the village, but these ones had in the carved reliefs three women in them. Eva read what she could about Eldia in preparation for her life and duties here, and from what her books told her, Eldia had its own religion where they worshipped three Goddesses: Maria, Rose and Sina. It was confusing for Eva, always being taught about how her God was the only one, how there could not be more entities but him. The rest were only cheap imitations, as her father often said. God would provide and comfort, God would discipline and punish. Her father often spat about how they were a bunch of heretics, not only believing in three deities, but female deities, and now Eva found herself right in the middle of it because her father… needed her to do her duty both as his daughter and Princess of Gottesreich.

Sullen thoughts kept crossing her mind, the cold and dark of the sunset not helping. Eva was ushered inside the old house and hastily taken to an adjacent chamber where a steaming bathtub, made of the most magnificent wood Eva had ever seen, sat in the middle of it and ready to be used. It had beautiful runes carved into it, and the sweet fragrance of flowers assaulted her nose the moment she stepped into the room. There was a table next to the bathtub with all kinds of jars, mortars, herbs and clothes. The room was lit by raging torches and a fire, the crackle of the flames loud in her ears.

Impatient hands tugged at her cloak, pulling it off before Eva could react. One of the elders draped it over a chair, while the other two tugged at the strings and fastenings of Eva’s dress. The princess gasped, slapping the hands away and trying to free herself from their quick-tempered grasp.

“That is so uncalled for! Don’t touch me! No!”

One of the three women snapped at her with a quick string of Eldian words, shocking Eva at the fierceness displayed and the wrinkles between her brows deepening. The other two took advantage of Eva’s attention being on the most short-tempered of the three, and pulled at the strings before Eva could slap their hands again. Eva tried in vain to get away, and in the end they took off her dress entirely, leaving her in her undergarments.

The shorter of the three pointed to her undergarments and then to the bathtub. Eva shook her head. There was no way she would be naked in front of strangers, only Flora had that right, so they would not—

They took off her undergarments.

Before getting her into the steaming water, the three elders meticulously measured her with their hands, judging the firmness of her arms and legs, the shape of her body, and all the time talking to each other as if they were talking about the weather, humming and mumbling. Eva couldn’t believe this, couldn’t believe the treatment she was getting! She felt like livestock, being scrutinised to see which one was the best piece for a banquet, and gasped, outraged, when they touched her hips and inner thighs, undoubtedly talking about her ability to bear children based on the shape of her bones. She was rewarded with some frowns and concerned words, and felt slightly insulted that they thought she wouldn’t be able to do her job properly. They kept nodding to themselves as if this was completely normal. Eva slapped their hands away once again, furious, when they squeezed her flesh.

“Excuse me! That is enough! What do you think you are doing?” To hell with formalities and manners, this was humiliating! “Enough! Give me back my clothes!”

The elders puffed and rolled their eyes at her outburst, impatient to finish what they were tasked to do. Eva went to bend down and at least retrieve her undergarments, but the elders stopped her, grabbing her wrists and pointing to the bathtub.

“No! No way! I am clean, unlike–”

Eva ended up in the tub.

She wanted to cry. Eva had no idea of what was going on, and judging by the urgency of the elders to get her to comply with their demands, this was something that led to a major event. What did they have prepared for her this time? In the end Eva decided that it was best to do their bidding and let them work whatever it was they had to do on her. Eva felt her heart fall when they undid Flora’s intricate braids and let her hair loose; her handmaiden had done a magnificent job.

Everything quieted down once she was in the tub. The water had been filled with all kinds of flowers, which astounded Eva, knowing that it was almost impossible to see a flower bloom out of spring, and mixed them together with aromatic herbs. But she did recognise the Winter Miracles amongst the other flowers, recalling the children handing them to her. The smell was very pleasing, soothing even, and Eva almost got herself lost in the feeling of a comb brushing through her hair, detangling it with gentle strokes, while the three elders sang in surprisingly soft voices a song Eva did not recognise, as they all worked in tandem. The other two remaining elders were occupied with pressing sponges delicately onto Eva’s arms, letting the scented water cascade down her skin. Eva closed her eyes, lulled by the hypnotic sound of the fire and the three voices singing in harmony. Eva fell into a daze.

Eva was brought back to the present when the elders gently tapped her arm, signaling her to get up. They had soft-looking cloths ready to dry her off, and Eva carefully stepped out of the bathtub, mindful to not slip while at it; that would have been a really embarrassing and unfortunate accident.

The princess was thoroughly dried off, especially her hair; they were still very into the middle of an unforgiving winter and falling ill would be no good. The elders got Eva closer to the fireplace, making sure she stayed warm while they prepared the next step of what Eva assumed was a ritual of sorts. She still tried to cover herself up the best she could with her hands and strategically placed strands of hair, clearly uncomfortable at her nakedness; she had always been criticised and nitpicked by the governess his father hired, only sulling her own perception of her body. One of the elders had a tightly bound stick made of herbs with smoke coming out of it in her hand, while the other held a stone bowl in her hands. The third one had the softest-looking fabric Eva had ever seen in her life, neatly folded in her arms.

All three approached Eva, still singing and with their expressions serene. It was such a big contrast with how they were earlier, but Eva preferred calm rather than chaos.

The one with the burning stick passed the bundle of herbs around her, letting the smoke touch her as she chanted something in Eldian. She left it to keep burning in a separate bowl, the smoke curling up to the ceiling. That same elder took the stone bowl from the one in front of Eva, holding it for the woman to dip her fingers inside. The digits came out tinted blue, the same colour their warriors proudly wore on their skins, and Eva watched enraptured how those fingers kept getting closer and closer. Eva unconsciously took a step back, but the elder didn’t stop. The woman pushed aside the long strands of hair, and Eva knew this would be another losing battle for her if she refused to do as they wanted.

The paint was cold on her skin, raising goosebumps all over her body, and Eva felt the glide of the elder’s fingers smoothly paint her arms and legs, firm lines like the ones she saw on the Chief and other warriors' arms. Then, the fingers hovered over her navel, the chanting reaching a beautiful harmony with the three voices. The elder moved her hand in a spiral, starting at the navel and going outwards, covering her belly. To finish it up, the fingers smudged triangles circling it.

The elder took a step back as the other two took her place. The one holding the bowl with the paint freed her hands by leaving it next to the burning sage, in turn taking a comb again and other things Eva didn’t catch to see. The other one with the white fabric in her hands approached her, letting the ends fall as she began draping it over her naked body.

Eva felt grateful to finally be covered, not enjoying one bit this humiliating endeavor. She zoned out, as she usually did back in Gottesreich when the maids dressed her, and Flora was not there to snap her out of it as usual. She felt a pang in her chest, missing her handmaiden and friend by her side. Flora always managed to get her to smile even in the worst situations.

The clinking of metal made her look to the source of it, seeing one of the elders holding a pair of beautiful and solid gold bracelets, and a jewelry headpiece with what looked like sapphires carefully shaped into drops. It was yet a simple but magnificent set, and for a moment Eva truly felt undeserving of wearing such beautiful craftsmanship. She didn’t do anything to gain the right to have such beautiful pieces on her body. They were surprisingly weightless, but they still felt heavy on her heart.

The three elders took a step back, admiring their handywork. A smile broke into their faces at the same time, nodding and murmuring in pride. For them, they did a marvelous job to get the Chief’s bride-to-be ready for tonight’s ceremony, and the three women were sure the Chief would be very pleased with their efforts and hard work. The Princess looked like one of them, out of her constricting clothes and hairstyle, and the three elders were sure their Goddesses would welcome their new child with open arms.

Three loud knocks on the door made the four women turn to look at it, Eva expecting someone to come in, but nobody stepped inside. She was relieved, still thoroughly embarrassed at the amount of skin she was showing due to the shape of the dress she was wearing (if Eva could consider a dress having two white pieces of silky-smooth fabric covering her breasts and most intimate parts of her body). The elders moved, grabbing their own cloaks and a new one for Eva. It looked much thicker and warmer than the one she came with from Gottesreich, and was styled in the same design and cut as the ones she saw the Eldians wear. Letting out a pleased sigh at being finally covered from head to toe, Eva was urged to put on some kind of sandal-looking shoes, which were so soft inside as if they were filled with fur, and go outside. She was not ready for what awaited her on the other side of the door.

Night had fallen quickly, as it always happened during winter, but the path they took earlier was now fully illuminated with torches, burning lively and lighting a beautiful sight.

The trail went deep into the village, going up the path that led into the mountain. The entire village of Eldia stood proudly next to the torches with ceremonial spears on their hands. The fire casted a warm glow on the villager’s faces and bodies, showing their solemn stance. The villagers were all wearing a distinctive set of clothes where the men had their chest naked and the women weren’t afraid to show skin either, with fabric styled in a similar fashion as hers. It was vastly different from the thick tunics and leather belts they usually wore, leaving an impression on Eva that they were some sort of ceremonial clothes. The villagers still had their cloaks on to shield themselves from the winter cold, though, and Eva felt a relief in knowing they weren’t completely unfeeling of the weather conditions.

But in front of them, waiting at the very end of the steps of the sanctuary, stood four hooded figures. They patiently waited, not moving an inch, and Eva’s eyes widened at the realisation of what those protruding sticks peeking from under the hoods were. It was the unmistakable shape of stag horns, and soon realised the four hooded figures were indeed wearing stag skulls, carefully painted with the same patterns and drawings as her own body had been marked with. The light of the torches accentuated the deep grooves and indentations of the skulls, and casted a terrifying shadow on the ground that only helped fuel Eva’s fear. The eerie silence didn’t help either.

The one in the middle had a drum, and the sound of it snapped Eva out of her thoughts, signaling the beginning of what was about to happen. The four hooded figures turned and waited.

The elders pushed Eva forward, signaling to follow them. Eva unwillingly did so, grasping the hem of her cloak as she began to descend the steps to the ground. The path had been meticulously cleared of snow, but the flakes began to fall again, leaving wet spots on the ground. The elders trailed behind Eva, two of them flanking her as the third one stood behind the princess.

The drum boomed into life, following a very precise rhythm –one bang, a pause. Two bangs, a pause– as the four hooded figures started walking forward. The reverberating sound echoed deep in Eva’s body, and as a beautiful, femenine voice started singing behind them, joining the little entourage, in what looked like some sort of ritual chanting, Eva felt as if she was being taken to be sacrificed. The Princess realised then the voice was very familiar, having heard it before in another place. Soft, gentle, like a caress… Nanaba came into her mind.

But her thoughts on the voice went to the back of her mind as the three hooded figures started a dance Eva had never seen before, jumping with their knees high and to the rhythm of the drum, turning around. The one leading the procession always jumped to face them, and Eva couldn’t stop staring at the stag skull, as if it was staring at her back with its hollow, lifeless gaze. The eyes of the masked Eldian were familiar, too. The other two jumped in a symmetrical pattern also, facing right and then left.

Eva would call it breathtakingly beautiful if she wasn’t as terrified as she was right now. Was Father right? Did they sacrifice people to their Goddesses? Feed them virgins? A shiver ran down her spine. She most probably fit all the criteria for it.

The dreadful feeling in her gut grew when she looked at the villagers, staring at her with a stoic expression, not moving a single inch even if the snow fell on their faces. As they walked forward, two more figures gathered behind them, bulky and big; probably two of Eldia’s most valued warriors, most likely to be Mike and Gunther.

Looking ahead, Eva saw more figures standing right in front of the steps leading into the village’s mountain sanctuary, recognising the bulkier one as the Chief and the tinier one as his right hand man, Levi; Eva still found his steely gaze terrifying, always making a mental note to never anger him. The Chief too had a stag skull as a mask, much bigger than the ones the hooded Eldians wore, and as the wind picked up, his cloak rose to show his naked torso and paint markings, making him an intimidating and otherworldly figure. Eva could feel his gaze on her as his head was pointed at her direction, even through the distance, and she quickly looked back to the floor, gulping down. He was scary, everything was scary.

As they were approaching the final steps towards the sanctuary stairs, the four hooded Eldian figures stood still in front of the Eldian Chief when they reached him, waiting. The drum increased its speed and volume, and as if working in tandem, the singing voice, that was definitely Nanaba, rose over the drumming too. The hooded Eldians slowly turned around to face the Chief, and in a single, final solemn note, the drum remained silent as the femenine voice voice kept singing. They began to bow, showing their respects to their Chief.

Everyone bowed to the Chieftain, everyone but Eva. She stood there, rooted on the spot, afraid and confused. Should she do the same? Was she being disrespectful right now? Was she supposed to not bow? Was she…?

As Eva made to bow too, not wanting to show her lack of respect upon the Eldian Chief, a quick tug on her cloak made her turn her head. The elder behind her shook her head, and let go of Eva.

Ah. So she wasn’t meant to bow.

Eva looked straight ahead, feeling her cheeks heat slightly in embarrassment. The Princess took in the image of the Chief standing still at the base of the steps, impassive and mystical. Eva could see how he easily commanded respect and obedience among his subjects, his broadness and size helping solidify those thoughts. She heard through her father’s gritted teeth how brilliant he was as a strategist, often cursing his wit and intellect, so there was no doubt this man was intelligent and cunning. Those were great traits for a leader, or at least Eva believed so. She only hoped he was a good man too, and that those moments he spent with her, all those gifts he had given her… weren’t just to make her believe something that would turn into a lie.

The Princess was glued to the sight of her fiancé— the mere word twisting knots in her gut—, trying to keep her breath in check, as well as her heart inside her chest. Nanaba’s voice was still chanting, softer now, but a single beat of the drum startled her, and Eva thought she saw the Chief’s shoulders slightly shake as if he was chuckling. Great, now he thought she was a silly, scared little girl.

But she was scared.

Terrified.

Everyone took the drum’s cue to stand straight again, and the four hooded Eldians that led the little entourage parted so Eva could pass through them. The chanting voice of Nanaba quieted down, ending in a beautiful final note, only the sound of the torches and candles could be heard, and Eva knew she had to move. The Princess took a deep breath, her hands trembling as she clutched her cloak closed.

Eva took small, timid steps, still feeling as if she was being led into a dark, sinister ceremony that the Holy Scriptures of Gottesreich warned its citizens about.

The Chief moved forward too, waiting for her at the start of the stairs as his cloak kept swinging with the slight frozen breeze of the winter. He raised his hand as Eva was nearing the Chieftain, as if both inviting her to join him and also help her. Eva looked at it, not wanting to let go of her precious cloak shielding her body from both the cold and the embarrassment of her nakedness, but something in her guts told her she must let go and accept his invitation.

His hand was scorching hot and it took Eva completely aback. Was he not freezing with half his body uncovered?! She damn well was, starting to not feel her poor feet. The Chief helped her on the first stone stair, stepping too close into Eva’s comfort zone for her liking, but relishing the warmth his body radiated. She did not see the tiny smile on the Chief’s lips under the stag skull.

The drum came back to life to start beating again, increasing its rhythm and joined by the thumping of spears against the ground from the villagers. The Eldian warriors that stood next to the beginning of the steps moved to let the Chieftain and the Princess through, bowing respectfully as they passed. The Chief had her own hand in a secure grip, guiding her, and Eva was conscious in that exact moment of the strength those hands of his held, besides how delicate he was being with her. They were massive compared to hers, thick, broad like he was, completely engulfing her own, and Eva didn’t want to acknowledge certain new and confusing thoughts and feelings popping into her mind.

Torches illuminated the path towards the sanctuary, casting a more intimate light with candles on the steps and herbs burning. The smoke tickled Eva’s nose, it was a different smell from the one the Church of Gottesreich used in their masses, less heavy and more earthly, fragrant, but it felt oddly recomforting as it was somewhat familiar. Eva had to admit the sight was truly beautiful, a scene taken out of one of her treasured fairytale books. She still wasn’t sure she liked being the protagonist of one of its stories.

The Chieftain gently pulled her to go up the stairs with him, patiently waiting for her to keep up with his pace. The Chief was attentive, which puzzled Eva, and kept gazing at her just in case they needed to go slower for her sake. Slowly, the hooded eldians, Nanaba and the elders followed behind them in silence, only the drum echoing in the night. It didn’t have the same power and loudness as before, but it kept a steady rhythm as they ascended towards the sanctuary, echoing around the stone walls and its nooks and crannies.

Slowly, they made their way inside the mountain path that led into the sanctuary. It was a nerve-wracking situation, being led into a dark path deep inside the mountain, not really knowing what awaited her one they reached their final destination. The usual cold gust of air from inside mountain corridors and caves greeted them, adding to the incense and candles the recognizable smell of humidity and wet stone. It also carried a sound with it, a barely audible whistle accompanying the drum. Her heart was wildly pounding, each step they took making her whole body tremble from the uncertainty of it all. Eva only hoped she would not trip on her own feet or ceremonial dress skirt and make an embarrassing scene of herself rolling down the stairs. Surely everyone would laugh at her, and the Chief probably would scowl and frown at her clumsiness, like Father did, and–

Flora’s voice threaded through the dark and murky waters of her anxious mind, slapping those thoughts away.

“Believe in yourself, Princess! Stand proud because you have the strength to carry on. Don’t let your fears control your mind. Don’t listen to those thoughts!”

Easier said than done, Flora.

“Believe in yourself!”

As if she could.

Flora always saw her with too good eyes.

A particular blow of air from inside the grotto made Eva close her eyes and gasp, her cloak fluttering open as she desperately tried to close it back. The Chief stopped and aided her, shielding her from the source of it with his own body, and holding it closed with one hand. Eva immediately looked up, searching for his eyes under the stag skull mask in a desperate attempt and wish to not find the Chief annoyed by this setback. She only found fondness and concern in his blue gaze, shocking her. Eva only managed a weak and choked “thank you”, even if she knew the Chief didn’t speak a lick of Gottesreichan.

Once the Chieftain deemed it safe to go, he resumed his stance by her side, holding out his hand for her to take like they did earlier. Eva spent the rest of the trek with her cheeks blazing and heart beating inside her chest as if it wanted to leap out of her mouth. She was not used to this. Eva did not know how to act.

They were inside the mountain now, venturing further and further into it. It was still freezing cold, but at least they were shielded from the winter breeze and wind. The drum echoed around the mountain corridor, the sound of the torches and candles lighting the way keeping it company. Would it take much longer? What was even truly inside the mountain? In her week here she did not venture this far, although Moblit did mention a sanctuary for the Goddesses deep into its insides. The sound of dripping water took her out of her thoughts, frowning and discreetly looking around to find the source of it. It was true the air changed, as well as the path getting mossier and slightly wetter. At the end of the corridor Eva could see a light not coming from the torches. Colder, silent. It wouldn’t take much longer to reach it and see what was at the end of it.

No words in Eva’s vocabulary could describe what the Princess saw and the feelings inside of her upon the sight that greeted her. She wouldn’t know where to begin.

The corridor led to a colossal cave, bigger than anything she had seen before, higher than Gottesreich’s Cathedral walls and ceilings. The light came from an enormous opening on its roof, letting the moonlight shine right down into an altar at the center of the cave, guarded by three gigantic statues of women. Eva realised that those were representations of the Three Goddesses, of Maria, Rose and Sina, gently looking down to the shrine in the middle of it. The stones looked ancient, archaic like the wooden obelisks from the forest’s entrance, but even older than that, but well kept despite the age of the sanctuary.

The water she heard came from this exact same cave too, almost covering the entire ground save from a stone trail that led to the altar. It came from a small waterfall on the ceiling’s opening, far enough it didn’t accidentally reach the altar, although the statues were inside the cave’s lake, vines and moss climbing them. Eva felt like she intruded into a sacred place, not worthy of outsiders, and only hoped that the Goddesses the Eldians worshipped wouldn’t find her presence too unwelcome. She truly wished they would understand how Eva did not mean to be a threat.

The Chieftain let her take the sight in, bask in the uniquely beautiful place she had been led to. His chest rose, proud of his roots, of his people, of the wondrous curiosity the Princess’ eyes held as her gaze travelled all around the sanctuary. Nanaba did a magnificent job of having their most sacred place in the village well kept, the vines and roots carefully moved away from the path, trimmed so no-one would trip or let even the vines have strength enough to break the stones. And this time, also, she and the elders made an outstanding job of littering the path with winter miracles, the flowers glowing in the moonlight.

Torches lit the path towards the center of the cave, helped by the flowers, and the Chief gently nudged her to keep walking forward. Eva almost felt sorry to be stepping on the poor flowers, but there was nothing she could do about it. It was intended that way, a blue and white soft mantle. Like that day at the hunting ritual.

As the Chief guided her to stand right in front of the altar with him, the elders moved behind it in silence, an intricate and enormous stone placed right in the middle of the shrine, leaving the same objects they had on Eva’s after-bath ceremony on top of a ceremonial cloth. Eva couldn’t help but to look on her sides, tense and clearly on edge, as she saw the rest of the hooded eldians circle both her and the Chieftain. Eva expected the mass of people to be following behind, but it only had been the hooded eldians, the warriors –whom she had been right about who they were–, Nanaba and the elders accompanying them. Eva had been both surprised and horrified that there were children too from all ages when she got out on the streets where the eldians awaited her.

At least, Eva expected Flora to be there. Eva hadn’t seen her since she was taken from her chambers, and missed dearly her calming presence. Flora was a constant in her life, a reassuring companionship everywhere she went. Was Flora alright? Did something happen to her? Why was she not allowed to be here too? Why–

Big and strong hands squeezed her smaller ones, trying to bring Eva back from her stressed thoughts. Eva quickly turned her head back to the front, looking at the Eldian Chief through the stag mask. Did he just… try to comfort her? Eva realised her hands stopped shaking, even if just for a moment.

The drum made itself present again with a single beat, signaling the beginning of this second part of the ceremony. The elders approached them both again, two of them with matching burning sticks of sage and the third one with the same bowl that they painted Eva’s body with. Their chanting began again, Nanaba joining them, and everybody present in the sanctuary stood in complete silence as the elders passed the burning sages around their bodies and over their heads (the Chief bending slightly down due to his height), just letting the smoke soak their bodies. The two elders stepped back, bowing solemnly as they did so.

Eva believed the moment that came next was a test from her Lord in Heaven, and she was about to fail it spectacularly. No amount of Holy Scriptures or praying would get her ready for this exact moment and the subtle libidinous desires she heard so much about licking her body. Even with the preaching from the priests and her father, she had not been free of the curiosity of carnality. And this, right now, only helped fuel it, much to her shame.

The Chief gently let go of her hands, raising his own to his face. He took his stag mask off, his face revealing itself from the horrifying shadow of the skull. His eyes never left hers as he passed the skull to one of the still masked Eldians that waited patiently for it. A few strands of his hair fell down on his forehead because of the mask, and they looked soft. Eva saw the blue paint smeared across his face, the same as hers, going from cheek to cheek and passing over his aquiline nose. The same markings she put on him in the hunting ritual. It made his eyes stand out and Eva found herself completely hypnotised by them. She had never been this close to the Eldian Chief before, at least not facing each other. Still not looking away from the Princess, the Chief raised his hands once again to untie the thick winter cloak, shrugging it off his shoulders and letting another of the masked Eldians take it away too.

Eva felt the air being knocked out of her lungs.

God in Heaven. He was massive.

And breathtakingly handsome.

Back home, back in the Holy kingdom of Gottesreich, the Eldian Chief would be the perfect example of what the Church and the King called a barbarian. A proud but savage warrior, a robust body made to endure slashes of swords, thick arms ready to rip apart their enemies, the embodiment of war and death… but nobody told Eva how attractive they could be.

Oh no.

He was gorgeous.

Tempting.

Eva couldn’t help her eyes falling down to his naked chest, just taking in how strong and powerful the Chief was; the numerous scars scattered over his body told of his perseverance and toughness. Her gaze trailed down his torso, following the blue painted lines down his body, sinuously hiding down his hips under the deep blue fur loincloth and its sash tying it all together. Eva felt her cheeks heat instantly, not believing herself for falling into temptation this easily. She snapped her eyes up when they got lost into the golden trail of hair that hid under the sash too, ashamed of her actions and pointedly not thinking about what was underneath. Oh Holy God in Heaven above, please forgive me for falling into this demon’s temptation. Please give me strength to endure–

The Eldian Chieftain was the exact description of what the other maids in the castle whispered and wished their husbands could physically be, while working in the kitchens when Eva sneaked out to get some treats or when they helped Flora bathe and dress her.

Despite her improper ogling, the Chief still maintained his imperturbable expression, not giving away any single thought of his, but also not chiding her either for looking so indecorously at his naked upper body. Maybe it was Eva’s imagination, but for her it seemed as if the Chief stood straighter and let his chest puff out, as if he wanted to show it off to her.

Ridiculous, what need would he have to do so? There was no condition or requirement for her approval, her fate was already sealed. What did it matter?

Maybe the smoke was getting into her head. Yeah, that’s probably it. And the cold.

The Chief raised his hand again, pointing at her cloak and then at the hooded Eldian behind her. The message was clear, but she couldn’t move a single finger out of sheer horror, clutching it closed even tighter. No way she had to be half-naked in front of strangers, Heaven forbid, chanting and singing. Her face must have given away her refusal and the Eldian Chief shocked her with gentle hands taking her own and a warm, comforting smile that did reach his eyes. He slowly guided them out of her death grip on the cloak and put them on the clasp holding it together at the top. His thumbs brushed her hands, reassuring her the best he could.

Eva didn’t know what to think, what to do. This whole endeavour was being too much for her, but the sooner she complied with it, the sooner she would be out of it.

Her trembling fingers slipped twice from the clasp, and the Chief patiently waited for her to undo it, holding the cloak so it wouldn’t fall to the floor by accident. Once she managed to open it, the Chief took a small step towards the Princess, that felt too close for Eva’s comfort, and gently took the cloak off her shoulders, the hooded Eldian taking it from his hands. Now it was the Eldian Chief’s turn to have his breath taken away.

Erwin was used to her hair being tightly braided and bound on her head, not a stray hair out of place, always perfect, as well as every inch of her body being covered in rich and heavy dresses, so he would lately admit he was surprised at the long, silky hair reaching past her bottom and only a simple, loose braid on either side of her head meeting in the back, holding the strands out of her face. He got a whiff of the fragrance of flowers, and the Chief knew that was the Elders’ doing. The way smooth, soft and plump skin revealed itself in the ceremonial dress, and how the blue of the paint stood out, made Erwin want to get on his knees and thank the Goddesses. If he ended up marrying her, Erwin would likely consider himself a lucky man.

But the way she was shaking, trying so hard to stand proudly and seem unaffected by all this pulled at his heart. Eva couldn’t help the way her cheeks grew redder and redder at the smiles and attention she was receiving as she quickly looked to her sides, not being used to being looked at like this. She was pulled out momentarily of her spiral of anxiety by the elders and Nanaba holding baskets in their arms, forming a spiral with flowers and herbs as they sang until they reached the Princess and the Chief, the drum momentarily joining the chanting with soft bangs. The women never stopped smiling and looked at her with some sort of tenderness in their eyes, as if all this was something good and positive. But was it truly?

This was thoroughly confusing. What were they so happy about? Why were they smiling at her?

The elder with the bowl in her hands walked towards them until she was right at their side, mindful of the beautiful spiral and pattern of flowers on the floor. The chanting and singing got louder, the drum echoing thunderously inside the sanctuary’s cave and shaking her entire being. Too much, this was all too much.

The deep, rumbling voice of the Chief made her snap her eyes up from the floor, most likely announcing something or saying an important part of the ritual as Nanaba and the elders ended their chanting. Eva had no idea what was he saying, what was going on, and icy fear kept clawing up from her guts to tightly clutch her heart. She felt like a skittish deer, like those Eva saw once in the woods when she went with Friederich on one of his strolls, and couldn’t help the frightened whimper that escaped her lips when the Chief gently cradled her face.

A frown formed on his handsome face at the sound, but Eva couldn’t spare a thought about how she displeased her fiancé. She was too busy thinking about how this all could end very badly, terror feeding her imagination with terrible and gruesome scenarios, fueled by the harsh whispers and stories told in Gottesreich about the Demons of Eldia. She was going to marry a demon, her father made her be betrothed to a demon for the good of Gottesreich and the world, and right at that moment Eva started to doubt her father’s judgement very deeply. She never dared to question him, knowing the consequences when she did once, but this was one of those rare moments where her will to survive emerged and wanted to give her father a piece of her mind.

The Chief brought her back to the present with his thumb slowly caressing her cheek, as if trying to ease her troubled thoughts. Once he was sure the Princess was back with them, the Chief turned to dip his fingers into the bowl, raising it to her face as she recognised the names of the three Goddesses of Eldia slip past the Chief’s lips.

The paint was as cold as the one applied after her bath, but the texture of his fingers wasn’t as rough and calloused as she expected. Eva unconsciously closed her eyes, feeling the smooth glide of the paint over her cheeks and nose, as the Chief said the final words. A gentle tap of his fingers on her cheek made her open her eyes again, and realised that she now bore the same mark as the Chief. He had a small smile on his lips as she let go of her face, and Eva was unable to reciprocate it.

The Chieftain said something else, and Nanaba took her cue to bring some sort of ceremonial goblet filled with something Eva had no idea of its intended purpose. She lifted it over her head, speaking in Eldian, and passed the goblet to the Chief. Without breaking eye contact with the Princess, the Chief took a heartily swip of the liquid, Eva’s eyes quickly falling down to his adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed. Nanaba’s voice spoke up again, the Chief passing the goblet to the priestess, and then to Eva. The Princess eyed it with worry, not really pleased about being forced to drink an unknown liquid. Was it poison? No, if so why would the Chief drink it. A potion? But what for? Eva internally gasped. Was it an aphrodisiac she heard about?! They wouldn’t dare… would they?

Nanaba patiently waited for Eva to take it, nodding towards her. Her smile was reassuring, but still Eva wasn’t happy about it.

Hoping her God would help her, Eva took it in her hands, pointedly ignoring that they were drinking from the same cup and what it meant, and gulped down the unknown beverage. Eva’s brows rose in surprise. It actually tasted good, sweet even.

Eva quickly gave it back to Nanaba, who went back to the altar to set down the goblet. Eva felt her tension grow, waiting the concoction to kick at any moment and bring its undesired effects upon her. Would the Chief be gentle? Would he be a beast and let his need and hunger control him? Would they… proceed here, in front of everyone?

As Eva let herself stew with her overwhelming and quickly spiralling thoughts, Nanaba finished the ritual with some words of her own, raising her hands towards the sky with a smile.

The whole cave exploded into cheerful jeers and shouts, startling Eva. The drum went off again, loudly beating and never stopping. The warriors, the hooded eldians, the elders… everyone applauded, the ceremonial spears the warriors held thumping on the stone floor. Was it done? That was it? Nothing else would happen? Everyone present in the cave was happy, laughed, cheered, but Eva kept squeezing her fists closed, shaking, knowing she probably made herself bleed in a desperate attempt to control her urge to run and cry. The uncertainty of the contents of the goblet made her overly conscious of everything in the cave. Like how her breath was out of control.

Her throat felt tight, as if a knot formed itself there to squeeze the air out of her in an agonizing clutch. Everything was loud, too loud, the deafening echo of their voices too damn loud, too confusing and scary, and she was afraid of taking a big, much needed gulp of air in fear of letting out an undignified sob. She wanted to run, she wanted to go back home, run to the safety of her room, of Flora’s arms and her comforting and familiar presence.

The Chief turned to the side to clean his hand with an offered cloth, and when he returned to his position facing the Princess, about to take her to the Great Hall where the food and wine waited for the celebration feast to begin, his smile fell. She was clearly distressed, the contrary as everyone else in the sanctuary, himself included. This was supposed to be a happy moment, the beginning of a beautiful journey for her here in Eldia, a plea for all the Eldians to call upon their Goddesses and accept their new child as one of their own, to link his spirit to hers in protection, as well as for the possibility they will be bound in marriage in a future, should the plans him and the gottesreichan brothers had carefully crafted need to change, but clearly their happiness for her presence did not reach her.

Erwin glanced down briefly to see her shaking fists and overall overwhelmed stance. He had to do something quick, calm her down before the poor Princess fell into hysterics. Trying to appear as non-threatening as possible, his hands rose up to cradle her face once again, and felt a pang in his chest when he saw the unshed tears threatening to spill down her cheeks as she unconsciously tried to take a step back when a particular loud cheer startled her.

He had to get the Princess out of there.

Calling the Elders over, Erwin asked them to arrange for some food and wine to be delivered to their room, since the Princess was clearly unwell and was not going to enjoy the banquet celebration, still not used to their traditions. The elders nodded, glancing once at the Princess to confirm her distress, sighing sadly at it, and signaled the warriors to immediately escort the Chief and his future bride to their house.

Eva wanted to move, to put the cloak on herself, but the shaking of her hands and being out of breath as she was wouldn’t have helped, so she let the Chief gently put it on and fasten it himself. As she was led back to the corridor with the Chief’s towering but warm presence next to her, his hand resting on her shoulder to help her anchor herself onto something, she didn’t notice the sad glances of the eldians gathered in the cave as she clutched the cloak close to her. Nanaba’s shoulders fell, wondering what could have gone so wrong for the Princess to be in such a particularly distressful state.

The walk down the stairs was a blur, but much to the Princess’ anguish, the villagers had waited outside, awaiting to see the Chieftain and his future bride. Eva forced herself to keep her tears at bay, to not let the concerned faces of the eldian villagers dig into her heart further, like daggers, conscious of what a scene she was making but unable to do anything about it. Eva felt like she failed this, failed them, failed Father. She should have been able to endure this ritual, this trial, to keep going on and face whatever thing the Eldians threw at her, but… but she was weak.

The Chief hastily guided her to his house, thinking about how his people probably wanted an explanation and would have to ask Levi for a favour; no doubt his friend would frown at it, but would comply with his request. He would remember this one, too, Erwin could already see Levi mouthing “you owe me”.

Speaking of the devil, Erwin exchanged a brief glance with his right hand man as he escorted them to the Chieftain’s home, Levi’s eyes jumping from the Princess to the Chieftain, nodding in understanding that he will have to manage what Erwin wasn’t able to in the moment. People sometimes talked about how often they didn’t need words, completely in sync with each other. Some found it eerie, others beautiful. Either way, it was useful.

If someone asked Eva about the path leading to the Chief’s house, or what it looked like, she would not be able to remember anything as she was focusing the best she could into not freezing and falling down her knees from her exhausting distress. Something would happen tonight, or else they wouldn’t have gone through all this trouble. Eva could only think of two options: be murdered in an unholy sacrifice or be taken against her will as the demonic barbarians they were. That’s at least what her Father led her to believe they did to virgins, newcomers or foreigners.

Both sent a chill down her spine, and didn’t know which one would be more merciful at this point. The Princess didn’t realise they were alone until the cold bite from winter was left outside and the front door closed behind them. The Chief walked in front of her, trying to hold her hands to tug her further inside and closer to the fire, but Eva lurched herself backwards, whimpering, with her back hitting the door.

The Chief looked sadly at the Princess, angry at himself for not realising sooner how he should have at least informed her of what was really happening the entire time, asking Moblit to explain what tonight was about; it must have slipped his mind, somehow, as he had been bombarded with matters of the village and the plan. He cursed his lack of knowledge of Gottesreichan, only knowing broken words and sentences. Erwin tried again, slowly approaching her with both his hands open and facing up, trying to show her he was not going to hurt her, and be as non-threatening as possible.

Eva seemed to let him approach her, so he stepped close enough for him to be at arms reach, and for her to be able to escape if she wanted to. She didn’t, and Erwin counted it as a win.

Erwin pointed to the fire that was already lit, and it tempted Eva as her shaking wouldn’t stop. Walking backwards to it, Erwin signaled her to come with him with his hands, waiting patiently as he would do to a wounded and scared animal. He had to be patient, let her feel secure enough. Still clutching her cloak tightly closed, the Princess took timid steps into the direction of the fire, trusting him enough to not run away for now.

Once in front of it, Eva could feel the heat of the raging fire, almost making her feel too hot with the winter cloak on her shoulders. It casted a gentle light onto the Chief’s face, and Eva saw how his whole body softened at her presence. Then he did something completely unexpected for Eva.

The Chief knelt in front of her.

He slowly reached for her hands, unclasping them gently from her cloak, and the Chief turned them around, opening her tightly closed fists to show her palms. A sigh escaped his lips at the sight of blood. He really should have stopped it sooner. Raising to his feet again but without letting go of her hands yet, his thumbs gently caressed the unmarked flesh. Letting go of her hands, he motioned Eva to wait right there as he took off his cloak and draped it over a chair in front of the fire, not caring about how it fell.

Erwin knew he had to have some water and a cloth to clean her wounds somewhere, and when he came back he found her sitting on the floor with her own cloak discarded on the ground, as a makeshift blanket, as she let the fire warm her hands and feet, seeing her sandals neatly placed in front of it to dry. Hearing his footsteps, Eva scrambled to get up, resuming once again her fright or flight stance.

Erwin set the basin with water and the clean cloth into a nearby small table. He motioned again for her to come closer to him, pointing at the water and then at her hands. Eva felt ashamed of herself, of having the Chief tending to her recklessly self-inflicted wounds. It should be herself who cleaned them, not the Chief. It was her fault! But the Chief didn’t leave room for her to protest, efficiently wetting and cleaning the blood off with the expertise only a warrior who has seen many battles had. He was gentle, surprisingly so, and Eva felt a tiny, warm spark inside her. This was unusual for a ruler to do. Rulers weren’t benevolent, rulers didn’t kneel or dress wounds. That was someone else’s job.

But in the time she spent already in Eldia, Eva knew first hand how different everything was here. How unusual Erwin was as a leader.

Erwin set aside the dirty cloth and water, to be discarded and cleaned later, and focused back on the Gottesreichan Princess. She looked at her hands, not able to keep her gaze on him. Erwin didn’t know how to convey everything he felt, everything he had in his mind. Seeing her so vulnerable, so frightened, made his heart squeeze painfully in his chest. She was still so shaken, still felt the tremors of the sheer intensity of her overwhelming thoughts and situation, that for once, Erwin didn’t think and decided to act first.

Stepping close to the Princess, Erwin gently gathered her against his chest in a tight embrace where he could feel her entire body pressed against his own. Goddesses above, she was tiny in his arms.

Eva jumped on the spot, her arms instantly coming up, needing to hold onto something at the totally unexpected gesture from the Chief, but not knowing where to put them. It was impulsive, Erwin knew, but he had to make the Princess feel safe and secure, at ease with at least himself. Slowly, Erwin moved his hands to hold her face, cradling it with the utmost care he could muster. Eva’s brain screamed at her, at the closeness of their bodies, his lips, but the Eldian Chief only pulled her face close as he bent down, tenderly kissing her forehead.

Everything came to a halt in Eva’s mind. She could only focus on the intimate and gentle press of his lips on her skin.

Erwin pulled back, still not daring to open his eyes as he racked his brain to remember any Gottesreichan he briefly learned on his travels around the land and Moblit’s occasional teachings. But he let his hands linger, thumbs caressing the soft and now warmer skin, feeling the dry paint on his fingertips. Letting out a low sigh, Erwin finally opened his eyes, meeting Eva’s astonished ones. The Princess could not stop staring at him with a new light behind her blue eyes, and it made Erwin feel a surge of emotions inside his chest. Her hands finally landed on his thick wrists.

“You no afraid. It okay. I protect you.”

Eva gasped in awe at hearing her own language, although broken and grammatically incorrect, come out of his mouth in an intimate and deep voice. She had no idea he knew some words, and in a way felt ashamed of not inquiring further about the Eldian language herself. But the excitement upon hearing her own language in such a far away land made her feel giddy inside.

This time Eva didn’t fight the smile that timidly rose on her lips. She squeezed her hands, grateful for his efforts. Erwin smiled back.

He could get used to this.

Four consecutive loud knocks on the door broke their little moment. Eva jumped further into Erwin’s arms, and it felt so natural for him to assume a protective stance. In a way he knew that no dangerous thing would come and knock at his door, especially when the whole town was out and his warriors ready for anything that may happen, but he still unconsciously pressed her against his body. She was soft, squishy, naked flesh against naked flesh. The Princess remained in his arms, like that time in the Forest.

Levi opened the door, arching a brow upon seeing them like that. He huffed, saying something in Eldian with a smirk that made the Chief instantly reply with a slight dust on his cheeks. Levi shrugged, entering further into the house with two more people behind carrying heavy trays in their hands.

The short warrior cleared up a table, setting the countless books and scrolls to a nearby chair while scolding the Chief, whose ears turned red like a child, and pointed to the Eldians carrying the trays to leave them there. Levi turned around, still speaking to the Chief, and dedicated a glance to the Princess. Eva thought she saw the warrior’s gaze soften, as if he pitied her for a second. The mere thought irritated Eva, not wanting to be pitied, but she was too tired to fight it.

Levi said something else to the Chief, his voice lacking the irritation from before, even fond, and bowed with the Eldian salute before leaving the Chief’s house.

The smell of warm bread and well roasted meat and vegetables carried itself over them, and Eva glanced at the trays, spotting the food from the banquet at the Great Hall. Erwin motioned with his hand for Eva to come with him and serve herself some food, but she shook her head, not trusting her stomach at the moment. Instead, she turned around and sat in front of the fire again, seeking its warmth. The Chief sighed. The Princess couldn’t go to bed with an empty stomach, at least that’s what his father used to say to him. Erwin had an idea, hoping it would work.

The Chief cleared the small table from the water and dirtied cloth, setting it somewhere else where neither of them would trip over, and walked over the heavy table to take one of the trays left by his people, as well as the wine decanter and two goblets. He set it on the small table. Before sitting down beside the Princess, Erwin took his thick discarded cloak from the nearby chair and carefully put it on the Princess’ shoulders.

It was heavy and big, Eva was surprised at the weight, but welcomed the warmth it provided, as well as the way it felt as a thick and soft cocoon. She grabbed the sides, closing it slightly on herself.

Erwin poked the fire to keep it lighted and healthy, adding another log to it before sitting down next to the Princess. The smell of the food kept coming to her, the scent of freshly baked bread invading her nose. It made her mouth water, because who can resist warm bread?

The Princess timidly looked to her left where the Chief was helping himself with a little bit of everything on a plate. He noticed her curious eyes, jumping from the perfectly roasted meat to the mouth-watering vegetables, besides more Eldian dishes she never saw before (was that a stew? God, it looked delicious), and handed the plate to her. It certainly had more than she could eat, and was alarmed when she didn’t see any kind of cutlery to use besides a spoon. Eva was about to shake her head again, but the insistence and the apetitising bread made her reconsider. She always had a weakness for bread.

They ate in a comfortable silence.

Erwin passed her one of the goblets and she took it without thinking, bringing it to her mouth to help a piece of bread and cheese go down. The Princess coughed, feeling the strong wine scorch her throat and instantly regretted it. She heard his quiet laugh beside her, and Eva was too embarrassed to look at him.

“Still strong…” she would never get used to it, ever. How did the Eldians deal with it?

“Less strong.” Eva saw Erwin hand her a different goblet, still with that amused glint in his eyes.

Eva cautiously took it, peeking inside to indeed see another goblet filled with wine. The Chief took the other goblet back with him, drinking from it. Curiosity got the best of her, and Eva took a sip to see if the Chief was playing a tasteless prank on her. Erwin’s amused chuckle at her raised brows, surprised, and immediate second sip, made the Princess realise that he had watered down the wine. In a way Eva felt bad, knowing what an outrage and indignity it was to mix good wine with water, as the court’s sommelier always told her when he saw some nobles do it, and would have fainted at the sight of good Eldian wine being dulled down.

Thank God he wasn’t there to witness it, then!

The food was good, and it never ceased to surprise Eva how creative and tasty the Eldian cuisine was. They worked with a lot of meat, having cattle and the vast woods to hunt, but weren’t shy on vegetables, and even knew their way around mushrooms. The spices used perfectly complemented each ingredient, and the cooking herbs gave the dishes aroma and richness of flavour. It was delicious.

Eva wondered if she could go to the cooks and ask them if they could show her how they do it. Back at the Palace it was more than unthinkable, not only for a noble, but a Princess, to be in the kitchen cooking, but that was one of the rules Eva broke without her father knowing. It was her little secret, and asked each time to her God for forgiveness for breaking her father’s strict policy of “do not step on the kitchen and mix with the commoners”, but her passion for food and the magic of cooking made her curious. The cooks were scandalised at first but ended up teaching her, and it was one of her fondest memories at the Palace.

She would have to ask the Chief, somehow, if she was allowed to do that. Eva noticed a lot of differences in the Eldian culture and society rules, and was surprised, and kind of hopeful if she admitted it to herself, to see women having as many roles as they wanted, like any other man. The most prominent one was the fact that there were women amongst their warriors and often terrified Eva more than the men themselves. Like the new trainees, that raven haired girl was a force to be reckoned with.

They finished their food and basked in the warmth and light of the fire. Eva pulled her knees close to her body, resting her arms and head on top of them, and looking at the fire. Movement from her side made the Princess look at the source of it, watching the Chief stretch his arms and lean back on them, closing his eyes. Eva took that opportunity to look at the man she would marry soon.

He was indeed good looking, there was no use in lying to herself about that, and Flora was absolutely right: handsome, strong and respected. His people trusted him, asked him for advice, and every time he stepped into the training grounds the new trainees would scramble to salute him with eyes filled with admiration, much to Levi’s disdain— the Chief was human, after all, and Levi had many embarrassing stories about him to spare, it seemed.

But now in the light of a fire, it’s soft glow caressing his face, Eva unabashedly drank in the sight of him, free of his responsibilities, his duties for one night. His nose gave him an elegant and distinguished air, knowing that if he had been born a noble or Prince, he would have looked just perfect on a throne, and undoubtedly would have had the people at his feet. Eva ventured her eyes lower, to his thick neck and shoulders, and followed once again the blue paint markings curving over his well defined chest and torso, following the muscles. That sash clung to his hips low enough for Eva to feel her cheeks slightly heat over the sight of that golden trail and the bones of his hips cheekily disappear under the blue cloth.

This time she continued her unabashed exploration, not lingering on what’s underneath the blue sash, her heart skipping violently at the mere thought and look of it, and let her eyes journey down his thighs. If her own leg wasn’t even close to the thickness of his arm, his legs were big enough for Eva to comfortably sit on if she wished. Powerful muscles underneath with a gold dusting of hair, which amused Eva without knowing why, and calves that got covered by his sturdy boots, made Eva know this man just screamed raw power. But he was undoubtedly a magnificent example of men's beauty.

As she trailed her eyes up his big and robust arms, not letting go of the detail of how his hands were well-built and strong, Eva was met with his intense blue gaze directed at her, amused. Erwin knew she was staring and let her have her fill, wanting the Princess to get used to him and satiate her curiosity. He chuckled at the way she looked like a child who just got caught trying to steal snacks just before dinner, eyes wide and cheeks flushed. Erwin thought the Princess looked positively adorable, even when she quickly turned her head and pointedly stared ahead.

Erwin knew no good would come if he grew feelings for her, knowing how she would return to her Kingdom, unmarried and free to do as she pleased as her father would no longer control her. But still it wouldn’t hurt to indulge into carefree and gentle moments such as this. A man had his pride and vanity, too.

The Chief scratched his nose, and realised that they hadn’t got out of the ceremonial clothes and rubbed off the now dry and crusty paint off their bodies. It would itch in the morning if they let it dry further, and Erwin was sure the Princess would not like that. Erwin stood up, signaling the Princess to remain there as he went once again to go look for water and cloths. When he came back, the Princess had busied herself into tidying up their used dishes and covering the untouched food, not wanting any bugs flying around. It looked so… domestic. Eva looked at the Chief from the table, wary of what he intended to do now. The Chief beckoned her to come to his side again, next to the fire, and after deeming his intentions good, for now, she walked to stand in front of him. Eva looked down at the water-filled basin and the cloths. He wanted to look at her wounds again?

As if catching her train of thought, the Chief wetted a piece of the cloth and rose it to his face, wiping down the corner of his facial paint.

Ah, she understood now.

Discarding the Chief’s thick cloak over a chair, neatly folding it, and taking a piece of cloth herself, she began wiping down her arms, watching the fabric turn instantly blue. Once done, she began with her legs, bending down to thoroughly scrub the paint off. The Princess was oblivious to it, but Erwin was reminded of those nymphs he read about in a book once, with her long hair and gracious curves, and hypnotizing femininity in her movements.

Erwin made haste to wipe down his own body, not wanting to linger on those thoughts, but the way her flesh jiggled or squished under her hands and vigorous scrubbing made him gulp down. The Princess truly had no idea how tantalizing she was, and Erwin thought the man who would finally end up as his husband would be a lucky one, getting to see that appealing expanse of soft flesh every day, witness her wit, hear her thoughts, smile at her laugh, marvel in her beauty…

The Princess ceased her movements upon feeling an intense gaze fall on her. She was in the middle of finishing off the paint on her belly, hand hovering over her skin. Erwin cleared his throat, moving to wet a clean rag and step closer to the Princess. She instantly righted herself up, clutching the cloth tight and ready to take a step back if needed. The Chief pointed to his own face and then the Princess’, lifting the rag on her eye level so she could clearly see his intentions.

Eva allowed his hands to rise up and gently grasp her chin, guiding her head to stay into place as he wiped off with slow, kind glides of the wet rag. Eva unconsciously closed her eyes, feeling the cold water on her skin and the contrast of his scorching hands.

Erwin appreciated the trust she gave him right now, allowing herself to be cleaned. He tried to not rub too hard on her skin, not wanting to hurt her, and relished on her willingness to keep her eyes closed and let him work the paint off. Erwin hadn’t had the chance to be so up close with the Princess, always keeping their distance even when they were in the same room, and now he could notice all those tiny details on her milky skin.

Like her long and dark lashes, the curve of her nose, that tiny freckle next to the bridge of her nose...

She was beautiful.

Erwin was screwed.

His thumb brushed over where the paint had been, tracing its line with the excuse to wipe off any remaining pigment with his finger. The Princess still didn’t open her eyes, even when his hand softly grasped her cheek and chin again, and his eyes focused on her parted lips. His thumb moved to graze her bottom lip, as if it had a mind of its own, and Erwin relished on its softness and plumpness—

Her gasp and wide eyes made Erwin tear himself away from the Princess, putting as much distance as possible. The Chief sighed, chastising himself for losing his manners and giving into his desires and curiosity so easily, but she made him lose his admired self-control. He rubbed his temples as he apologised, even though he then instantly remembered the Princess did not speak his language.

He was tired. Maybe it was time to try to get some rest.

The sound of the water in the basin being disturbed by a cloth made Erwin look back to the Princess. She busied herself into wetting one of the cleaner cloths, and when she deemed it ready, the Princess turned to face the curious Chief. She timidly rose her own hand to her face and pointed it back to him, just as he had done moments before. Erwin nodded, wishing this was confirmation enough.

Her hands were tiny, soft, delicate. She was careful with her movements, the free hand holding his face still almost not daring to touch him, as the other one wiped the badly removed remnants of blue paint. Erwin wanted to close his eyes and indulge in the feel of her touch on his skin; it had been… quite a while since someone had been gentle and indulging with him, his duty always coming first. Tender caresses and touch were not in his daily life, and did and would not expect or obligate the Princess to fill that role.

But he didn’t close them. Instead, Erwin let his eyelids fall half mast, giving the Princess a sense of security that he was not unabashedly staring in an eerie way, as he had been told some times when he focused on something. He was just transfixed by her actions, if someone had asked him. And how she was seemingly standing on her tiptoes so she could reach him, how she was concentrated in her task, how his skin did not burn from the friction, how careful she was being by the stray droplets that fell down the curve of his cheeks, his nose, her own cheeks heating when she wasn’t fast enough when a single drop reached his lips, parting them unconsciously…

Ah, he did close them, basking in the tender touch of the Princess. Erwin let out a soft sigh, resembling a purr.

The Princess took her hands back from his face as if she had been burned by his skin, taking a clumsy step back and stepping down on the back of her ceremonial dress skirt. She gasped, seeing the room spin backwards with her as she lost her balance, arms flailing, looking for purchase on any surface.

Erwin was quick enough to catch her from falling in a disastrous and embarrassing way, also saving her from hitting her head or back on any hard surface. His arms had wrapped themselves around her, pulling the Princess’ body flush against him in a reflex action.

The rag fell down to the floor in a wet thud, splashing on both their feet but they paid no mind to it. Eva was too busy staring directly into the Chief’s intense blue eyes and clutching his strong shoulders. This reminded her of their first dance, how they ended up in a similar position, but with more clothing and a less compromising pose.

Eva was rooted on the spot, unable to look away from those beautiful eyes. It was unusual for the Princess to see the Chief look so perplexed, so different from his usual appearance; the man walked around the village with solemnity, his mind always busy working, ever prepared for anything. But, it seemed, not for this. It was almost comical how wide open his eyes were, giving him some sort of a boyish look, taking off the older appearance his duty made him be.

She could faintly feel his breath on her skin. His hands on her naked back, blazing, big— for a moment, Eva’s treacherous mind contemplated relishing in it, in this, in him. To greedily cling to the closeness and warmth of an embrace, something she hadn’t truly felt in a long time unless Flora did so when no-one was looking.

It had to be the wine. Yes, it had to be that. And that she was cold, and him so warm, that Eva let herself be held. She should get used to this, to her fiancé touching her, gazing at her as he was doing right now. Yes, it was the wine, or else she wouldn’t have those thoughts crossing her mind. Those questions.

Would his lips feel soft?

The Princess’ eyes fell to the Chief’s parted lips.

Would he be gentle?

In her week here the Chief had been kind and considerate towards her.

Would he embrace her like this, every day?

Would he? Was she allowed to have it?

Was she?

Something in the Chief’s eyes had shifted. Eva did not know what, couldn’t name it, but his gaze changed completely. Darkened, but Eva didn’t feel afraid of it. The Princess did not fight her curiosity this time, did not push the Chief away or try to squirm out of his hold when he brought his face closer. The Princess could feel his breath on her own lips now, making her heart thump wildly inside her chest.

Would he satiate her curiosity? Would he?

Eva felt one of his hands let go of her back to cradle the back of her head. The Chief slowly bent over her form, almost afraid of doing so, and pulled her up at the same time. Eva’s hands gripped his shoulders tighter, lips trembling when she felt their breaths mingling with each other. What was she feeling? Eagerness? Anticipation?

Would he?

Eva felt the Chief’s lips timidly brush against hers, as if he was also afraid of pressing them further. Of kissing her.

So soft.

She gasped, a quiet, intimate sound.

The spell was broken.

Eva didn’t realise she had closed her eyes, but when the Chief heard her, he immediately tore himself away from her. As if burned. Eva was met with the Chief’s back, hunched over a chair and the tips of his ears blazing red.

They both came back to their senses, the realisation of what almost happened falling down on their shoulders as if it was a bucket of frozen water. Eva felt ashamed of herself. What was she, a harlot? So easy was it for her to give in to carnal desires? To fall for this demon’s trap?

Goosebumps travelled all over her body when she contemplated what could have happened if the Chief had kissed her, if he did more than that.

Dear God above, forgive me. I’m a sinner.

Forgive me.

The Princess brought up her hands on her arms, rubbing them to seek any sort of heat as she looked away, ashamed. She had to learn from this, to resist temptation at any cost, at least until they were married, as the Holy Scriptures of Gottesreich dictated.

The Chief gathered all his will to turn around to look at the Princess. She was uneasy again, no wonder. Great job, Erwin!

What was he thinking? How could he have fallen so easily into his own desires, like a brute, a barbarian as she now sure thought of him of. He was mortified, he thought he was above this. But she was so warm and soft, had been so pliant… No! Goddesses, Erwin! He would not taint her with his touch. It was not the plan. It was not his right.

Looking again at the Princess, Erwin realised how the water they used was frozen cold, and she was still half naked, so he should do something about it or the Princess would end up catching a nasty cold. Besides, that didn’t look comfortable for sleeping, and the Princess would surely appreciate being covered.

With those thoughts in mind, when the Princess briefly looked back at him, he signaled with his hands for her to stay there, and Erwin disappeared again, this time to his rooms. Eva took that opportunity to walk closer to the fire again, kneeling before it as she let the warmth of the flames lick at her face and frozen arms and legs. Eva used her brief time alone to reflect on what just happened.

She did not understand the Chief.

She did not understand herself, either.

What were his true intentions? Eva half expected him to take advantage of her at any given moment, like this one where they were alone and Eva was wearing such revealing clothing that no man in court would have let it slip. But he was gentle and caring with her, trying not to spook her or make her feel like she was in danger. Not a single touch, besides, well, this one, which the Princess understood had been an accident, and also she willingly submitted, much to her shame, but there was not a single lecherous stare or demand beforehand, or even now where the Chief had looked like a scolded child. He just let her be, respected her space.

Eva still didn’t know if she could trust either the Chief or the Eldians, everything being still new and confusing, but she truly appreciated the efforts.

The Chief came back with a folded tunic in his hands, his footsteps alerting Eva of his presence once again. The Princess stood up, eyeing the fabric with uneasiness. Erwin had rummaged through his clothes to find the softest, warmest piece he owned, and found a midnight blue tunic that would surely suffice. He had half a thought to send someone to bring her usual nightgown, but Erwin had a feeling the Princess wouldn’t really have appreciated a stranger going through her clothing, even less her more intimate one, so he opted for one of his own. He only hoped the Princess wouldn’t feel offended by it.

Erwin handed it to the Princess, praying she would accept. Eva unfolded the tunic, her eyes widening and her mouth forming an “oh” in realisation, and looked around to see if she could find a more secluded spot where she could change. Unfortunately there was none, and Eva could feel her stomach drop. She would not be naked in front of this man.

Sensing her thoughts, Erwin pointed to the door where he disappeared earlier. Eva pulled the offered tunic close to her body and bolted to the room, quickly shutting the door behind her. Inside Eva took a big breath, and without wanting to linger much inside a man’s room, she began to pry away her dress. The Princess got stuck on a knot on her backside, uselessly trying to undo it with frustrated grunts and irremediably tugging it tighter in desperation. Tempted to kick a nearby chair in despair, Eva huffed, deeply annoyed, and crossed her arms over her chest. She looked back at the door, pulling her lips into a thin, displeased line.

You’ve got to be kidding me.

Erwin patiently awaited for the Princess to change into more comfortable and warm clothing, arms crossed as he stared into the fire. The shoes she left earlier were almost dry, and Erwin pushed them farther away from the fire, just in case a spark flew too close to them. He noticed the difference in size and how tiny her feet were compared to his own, boots and all. Erwin let out an amused huff. How adorable. Suddenly the door opened in a forceful pull, the Princess appearing but still in her ceremonial garments. Erwin rose a confused brow. Was the tunic not to her liking? Did he not see a hole in the fabric? He hoped that was not the case, Levi would absolutely kill him.

The Chief rose up to his full height as the Princess purposefully walked to where he was standing, not daring to meet his eyes. Closer to the fire, Erwin could see her cheeks red and mouth a thin, vexed line. Erwin’s frown deepened. She looked… embarrassed?

Without giving Erwin much time to think, the Princess turned around, and with a resigned sigh, Eva pushed aside her long hair, holding it on her front, as her other hand pointed to the tight knot on the small of her back. Erwin had the naked expanse of her back right in front of his eyes, beautifully illuminated by the fire’s intimate glow, and the sprayed freckles being so, so tempting.

The Goddesses sure were testing him tonight. He hoped that the incident from earlier didn’t make him fall out of their graces.

But Erwin understood the message and took pity on her uneasy and tense body. She visibly flinched when his knuckles accidentally brushed her skin, grasping the knot and efficiently working on untangling it. It was being stubborn for sure, and Erwin got where the Princess’ frustration came from; tight knots could be a nightmare.

Finally the knot began to loosen up, the soft material gliding easily into releasing itself, and Eva couldn’t stop the yelp tearing out of her throat as the dress suddenly dropped as the fabric slipped from the Chief’s fingers. Erwin was quick enough to pull it up before the Princess turned around, desperately holding the loose dress on her body. Erwin would have forever engraved in his mind the beginning of the beautiful curve of the Princess’ ass.

The Goddesses had a personal vendetta against him. This was for what happened earlier. For sure.

Erwin stared at her reddening face like a deer caught just moments before the hunter took their shot, still processing the image, but hastily swatted it away, lifting his hands and shaking his head. Her quivering bottom lip told Erwin how his attempts weren’t working, and without thinking he covered his eyes, shutting them tightly too. The sound of hurried footsteps and a door slamming indicated Erwin he was alone again.

The Chief let out a long sigh.

He could not say anything to the Princess about what he saw. Erwin really doubted she would appreciate him confirming her thoughts and causing even more embarrassment for her. Ah… this was going to be troublesome.

The Princess herself caught her panicked breaths against the tightly shut door, her back pressed against the solid wood as she rested her weight on it.

God was thoroughly disappointed in her. God was punishing her for her involvement in the Demon’s rituals for sure, and on top of that, her impure thoughts from earlier. God had set a test for her and failed spectacularly. God—

All the emotions from earlier came back with a vengeful force, knocking what little air was there from her lungs. Alone, afraid, almost naked, and on top of that a man almost saw her as the day she had been born. The Princess saw her vision blurr, sobs threatening to escape.

No. No no no! She could not fall into despair this easily, to crumble like a dry leaf. She was the Third Princess of Gottesreich, she had to be proud, stand tall!

But how proud could she stand when she was a shameful embarrassment. When she almost let herself be kissed by the Demon’s leader.

She wanted to go home. She wanted to wake up back in her bed at the palace and feel like this had been a long nightmare. But no such luck, it seemed.

Eva let the rest of the ceremonial dress fall on her feet, standing stark naked in the Chieftain’s bedroom. She felt uneasy at the thought, as if somehow she was being observed, even though Eva knew it was impossible; the door was tightly shut and the window was not easy to peek from. Eva eyed the Chief’s tunic, neatly resting on top of the bed’s fur, and didn’t wait any longer to put it on.

It was indeed thick and warm, its interior having soft wool sewn into it, and Eva felt instantly relieved to have a big piece of garment covering her entire body. The Chief’s tunic reached past her knees, looking like a very rudimentary and simple nightgown. The open neck wasn’t to her liking, though. On the Chief it surely must have looked more modest, but on her it could fall off her shoulder easily, only emphasising the size difference between her and the Chieftain. Why did this man need to be so… so massive?

Sighing, Eva resigned herself. There was no use in prolonging the inevitable. She would have to get out of his bedchambers eventually, if the man wanted to sleep. Eva guessed she would have to make herself comfortable in front of the fire.

Timidly, the Princess opened the bedroom door, flinching when it’s hinges squealed. The Chief must have heard her but chose to keep staring forward. In one arm she had the dress neatly folded, clutching it tightly in her hand. Eva saw the Chief kneeling on the floor, tending to the fire as he patiently waited for the Princess to be done. Eva remained rooted under the doorframe, watching the Chieftain’s profile illuminated by the flames. It was exquisite. If Eva thought about it with a cold, level head, it was not a bad sight to look at everyday for the rest of her life.

The Chief had busied himself with covering the floor in front of the fire with pelts and blankets, a pillow on one corner, more blankets and the Chief’s cloak in the opposite. Ah, so that was her bed. It had been considerate of him to prepare her something, and the fire to hold on through the night. Eva soundlessly padded towards the Chief, setting down the ceremonial dress on top of a chair. Eva was mindful of the pelts when she sat down on them, not wanting to disarrange anything. They felt soft on her feet and legs. When she looked to her left the Princess was met with the Chief’s puzzled face, thick brows furrowed and blue eyes trying to find a reason for her to sit by his side.

Eva froze. She misunderstood?

The Chief saw the Princess’ panic arise and immediately turned fully to her, raising his hands as if he wanted to hold her arms but stopped midway, fingers twitching. He started shaking his head, trying uselessly to stop her train of thought with his hands, also saying no in the most universal sign it existed. Eva’s eyes went from his face to his hands, then back to his face. Now she was the one confused.

Did he not want her by his side anymore? Was he ashamed of her and her indecorous behaviour? Repulsed?

Eva felt guilt squeeze her lungs.

The Chieftain looked certainly frustrated, only helping fuel the Princess’ poisonous thoughts. Defeated, he sighed. The Eldian leader pointed at himself, then at the pelts and blankets they were laying on. To finish, the Chief pointed at the Princess and then to the door leading to the bedchamber. The Chieftain had a hopeful smile. Now it was Eva’s turn to frown.

He wanted her to have the bed?

No way! She was a guest, unconsciously imposed herself on his home by being overwhelmed by her weaknesses, she would not take his bed.

Eva shook her head, pointing at herself towards the floor and the Chief to the door.

The Chief frowned back.

They spent a while caught in a heated sign discussion, frustrated at both not being able to communicate verbally and freely. The Chief began to lose his patience, muttering something and rubbing his temples with his hand. Eva had crossed her arms, head turned to the other direction. This seemed to go nowhere.

Eva felt a pang of remorse when the Chief stood up without another glance at her, as if he had been thoroughly fed up with her attitude, and stormed off to his bedchamber. Maybe she shouldn’t have insisted on her own opinion, even if she thought she was right. Eva should have taken into consideration the Chieftain’s own thoughts and the Eldian customs. She shouldn’t be making an enemy out of her fiancé, or making herself stubborn and bossy. Father often told her men didn’t like such women, and she was bred to be perfect. So she wouldn't impose, wouldn’t demand, wouldn’t fulfill her whims–

The contrary as she did now.

Eva let out a tired and defeated suspire.

The Chief came out of his bedroom looking the same as before. Eva’s hands in front of the fire twitched, wary of what the Chief may do. As he approached her, her hopes of the Chieftain being a good man vanished. She knew that stride, recognised it.

Cold eyes—

Eva closed her eyes tightly, awaiting what came next. What she expected. What she knew. She tried to make herself as small as possible, like she used to as a child back at the palace and—

And she was being lifted off the ground.

A solid chest against her body, strong arms picking her up as if she weighed nothing. Eva opened her eyes to see the room spinning and the Chief’s chiseled jaw. He was carrying her. Bridal style. Eva wanted to sputter and fight his hold, but the firm clutch of his hands made Eva realise he would not let go. So Eva resigned herself. She was at his mercy. With her heart inside her fist, Eva watched the living room disappear, missing already the comforting heat and light of the fire. The bedroom was colder, although the creaking sound of a freshly lit fire indicated that it wouldn’t be much longer.

In his absence, the Chief had apparently tidied slightly the bedroom (Eva had ignored the thrown tunics and trousers over chairs and any available surface) and lighted a small fire to warm the room. He even put more pelts on the bed and fluffed the pillows, going as far as opening the bedsheets. Like a maid would do. Eva frowned slightly, confused by his behaviour, but oddly touched by it.

Silently, the Chieftain walked over the bed and lowered the Princess on top of the thick layers of bedding. The pelts felt soft on her skin, like the ones from the living room, and warm. The Chief had an unreadable expression on his face, as if he was thoroughly concentrated into one single thought, and it showed further when he went to poke the fire and tend it so it would hold for the night. The message was more than clear, though.

He did all this for her.

The Chief turned to face the Princess, making Eva jump and right her posture as she had been distracted by both her thoughts and the expanse of his naked back. He really had a nice back…

But now he was approaching her, his stride purposeful, and Eva truly feared he angered the man. Her fists tightened on the pelts, eyes not tearing from the Chieftain’s ones. She really tried to not cower in fear, but… he could be intimidating. His gaze softened when he stood in front of her, quickly realising how he had to correct himself in his ways; he was often pointed out how when he was thinking or mulling over some matter he would have this frown and overall stiff expression on his face. He had to listen to Levi’s words.

“If you let your caterpillars frown as you usually do, you will scare the Princess shitless, besides that stoic mug of yours.”

Levi always loved to poke fun at his eyebrows. He was no better, though.

“Yours is scarier, my dear friend.”

“Whatever.”

Erwin let out a soft sigh. With his hand he repeated the little pointing contest they had earlier, and with some sort of finality behind it, he signaled her to stay on the bed and he would go back to the living room. The Princess looked down her lap and Erwin could see she was the one now with her brain working on something. Erwin would admit he was curious about this seeming stubbornness the Princess had, even if it was at the cost of her wellbeing. Did her handmaiden deal with it too? She surely did, maybe he could ask for pointers, for the Princess’ own sake and safety.

Maybe it was better if he left her be for now. She already had a lot to think and digest about today.

Erwin took a step back, the Princess’ panicked gaze lifting from her lap to his eyes. She had words about to spill inside her throat, desperately needing to speak and voice her thoughts to him, but she knew how futile it would be. Erwin made the decision for them both already, and as he bowed to bid her goodnight, he thought it was the right one. He couldn’t let the Princess sleep on the floor like a dog; when he took her to his own house he made that choice, Erwin already resigned himself to sleep in the living room with the spare rugs, pelts and blankets.

A slight tug on his ceremonial sash rooted him on the floor.

The Princess was clearly distressed, fighting with all her will the harsh thoughts crossing her mind about how she was disobeying her entire upbringing, and Erwin wasn’t stupid or uncaring enough to not acknowledge it; her brothers were right, and it was infuriating to see the poor girl reduced to this. He was confused, though, Erwin thought he made himself clear. He frowned, ready to refute anything she may try to say.

But, ah, Erwin couldn’t find the strength to do so when she saw her anxious eyes beg him to wait, to listen. The Princess shook her head, slightly tugging the fabric again. When she was sure he would stay, the Princess quickly looked back before shifting her body backwards until she reached the other side, pointing to the spot she previously occupied. Erwin’s brows rose. Was she really suggesting…?

Erwin did think about this option but he immediately discarded the idea, knowing the Princess would never allow to be so close to a man, in a bed, unwedded, so her suggesting it was a surprise, but a pleasant one. Erwin wanted to believe the Princess felt secure enough in his presence to let herself be in such a vulnerable state, to trust him. That’s what he really wanted, for the Princess to trust him.

Eva’s face fell when Erwin turned around to walk to the door, disappearing into the living room. She felt so stupid, a shameless, indecorous harlot. To lie in bed with a man? Even if he was her fiancé, it was unthinkable to lie in bed, to sleep in the same bed as him! How could she have suggested that? How did she manage to muster all the strength she had to do that? What must he think of me? The Princess felt the weight of the entire day, the tiredness of having to keep her emotions in check, her thoughts, her everything, falling on her shoulders like the heaviest stone on earth. She brought her legs towards her body, her arms hugging them close to her chest. Her vision began to blur.

Stupid! Shameless idiot! Improper, immodest—

The door opened again, closing softly this time. Eva immediately looked up, startled, seeing the Chieftain come back with some of the blankets and pillows and having removed his boots. He frowned when she saw her curled into a tiny ball on the bed, and after concern briefly crossed his mind, thinking she could be hurt, he realised how he just… bailed on her silent plea.

Erwin wanted to smack himself.

He quickly walked to the bed, giving her the pillows and blankets, and trying to reassure her the best she could that he was agreeing to her wish. Eva’s cheeks reddened now in shame, chastising herself mentally for acting like a child. The Chief had one condition, though, if they were to sleep in that arrangement: he made himself clear that she would sleep on the side facing the fire, and he would be on the one facing the window, clearly the colder side of the bed. Eva nodded, moving already to ‘her’ side.

Satisfied enough, Erwin spotted some of his sleeping trousers that peeked from the dresser’s drawer, where he had shoved them earlier in preparation for the Princess to sleep in his own chamber. His ears slightly reddened in a bit of shame for having everything be a complete mess. Levi was right, he will have to mind his tidiness more. Erwin walked towards them, quickly untying the knot from his sash in the process. He was used to doing that out of habit, almost mechanical in his movements, but the Princess’ startled gasp made him realise he was about to be completely nude in front of her— Oh shit—!

Erwin quickly looked back as he held the sash closed and up, spotting the Princess with her hands over her face, shielding herself away from his imminent nakedness. Some part of his mind found the gesture cute, but he had to focus, Erwin. Without wasting more time, Erwin took the trousers out of the drawer and let the ceremonial sash drop to the floor with a heavy thud. The Princess thought she was being sneaky, but her stifled inhale was a dead giveaway she had peeked from her fingers. Yes, Erwin thought, he liked her curiosity. He made haste on re-dressing himself and walked back to the Princess, making sure first to poke at the fire and be sure that it would hold on the entire night. Erwin also noted how the Princess kept avoiding his eyes and overall persona when he faced her, a slight dust on her cheeks.

Eva felt the bed dip as the Chieftain sat on it, rearranging the pelts so the Princess had more on her side. Her heart was beating wildly inside her chest as she felt the bed move. Was this really happening? It wasn’t some sort of hallucination from the drink they had her gulp down? The wine? The cold? Eva mechanically slid herself inside the bedsheets, quickly pulling down the hem of the tunic and righting the shoulder, and laid down facing the ceiling, frozen. The Chief did the same, quickly covering himself with the blankets, but out of privacy and modesty for the Princess, the Chieftain had turned his back on her, surely she would appreciate it. And Eva truly did, but…

Why the hell did she think this was a good idea?!

Yes, the wine was to blame. For everything that happened tonight. Yes. Or else she would never have allowed herself to be this bold and brazen, to have invited a man to share the bed.

Even in the short distance they both managed to put themselves in, Eva could feel the warmth he irradiated, and found her head turning slightly to her right to let her eyes fall on the expanse of his back and the back of his neck; even his nape was powerfully built. She was staring. Again. In the dim light of the fire Eva spotted those hard muscles and scars she could not see before and the continuation of others, wondering the story behind each one. Maybe someday he would tell her.

The Princess had no idea when she started to drift off, but her eyes began to close themselves. The gentle creaking of the fire lulled her into a more relaxed state, as if it was a lullaby. Her mind was half a state of alertness and awakeness for the scarce centimeters between the Chief’s naked back and her own, but the other half was exhausted. And exhausted eventually won. Her last thought before she fell into Morpheus’ arms was that his warmth was comforting.

Erwin knew the Princess had finally fallen asleep when he heard the almost imperceptible soft breaths come out of her mouth. He stared at the window, replaying everything in his mind as he watched the snow fall silently, covering the window’s bottom. He should have thought about the miscommunication, about how the Princess was overwhelmed easily, and Erwin honestly did not blame her. He really tried to make her feel comfortable after her brothers’ departure, to not feel forgotten or a burden. Gifts were a good option for that, and really, really hoped they helped the Princess. He was happy to see her use them, and also hoped she didn’t out of obligation.

After seeing that desperation, that hopelessness, and how those doe eyes begged for a tiny ounce of warmth, Erwin couldn’t refuse it. His lips pulled into a smile when he recalled the adorable innocence of her gaze, the pull of curiosity when she looked at him, how she darted her eyes away when she was caught. Such differences in their cultures! So interesting.

It later occurred to the Chief that maybe, maybe, the Gottesreichan men didn’t sleep shirtless. Hence the Princess’ eyes avoiding him as much as she could. Oh, he thought, scratching his chin, he should be more careful. But it was still charming how her cheeks reddened and her eyes glinted.

Erwin had fallen asleep not much later than the Princess, exhausted himself too, and apparently he had turned to face the other side in his sleep. What he did not expect when he blearily opened his eyes was to find himself with the Princess nuzzled up to his chest, unconsciously seeking human touch.

Erwin froze.

Her hands curled into fists rested on his chest, his own heart threatening to fly out of his mouth. For the Goddesses sake, Erwin! He couldn’t believe his childish reaction. You have faced countless enemies in the battlefield, how can a girl do this to you? What was he, a teenager again? The Princess was even closer than before, when they were cleaning themselves from the paint, and her lashes looked soft and full indeed. That spot right next to the bridge of her nose was definitely a cute little freckle, what other people called beauty marks. Erwin sighed. She was really pretty. And Erwin has been quite lonely.

Erwin made to put some distance, just in case the Princess woke up and got the wrong idea, but when he tried to move the Princess whimpered, burrowing further into his neck.

Erwin froze, again.

Her warm puffs of breath sent shivers down his spine, tingling his entire body. His fingers twitched, longing to press her against him, to feel more of this warmth, this intimacy he hadn’t felt in so long… but he had to refrain himself. He couldn’t be acting like a depraved man. Erwin thought hard about what to do, but ultimately decided that his next actions were going to be a problem for Future Erwin, for when he woke up, but not problematic enough to have the Goddesses look down upon him in disgust and the Princess to have him hanged. Goddesses, no! The Princess seeked human contact, the warmth of a gentle hand holding you, telling you it’s safe, and for her to be able to believe it. If tonight she needed him for that, he would deliver it. He would be what she needed, be her safety, the gentle hand.

Maybe, if they had met in other circumstances, if everything had been different… this could have been real.

His arm rested on her waist, careful not to wake her up, and felt a smile tug at his lips when he heard a soft, content sigh. Erwin stared at the dying embers of the fire, his eyes already closing again.

It wouldn’t be so bad to go to bed and wake up like this every day.

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