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the-goddess-of-mischief-writing · 4 years

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Two halves becomes one whole {4}

Description; You’ve met Bucky and as if that wasn’t enough, he take up more of your thoughts than you care to admit. It seems however, that your brain pays to much attention to him then what’s good, leading to interesting times in the gym.

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Rating: Mature

CHAPTER NO/ONESHOT: Chapter 4/9

Word count; 3.432

Warnings; fluffy bucky, flustered reader, suggestive undertones

Author; @the-goddess-of-mischief-writing

SERIES MASTERLIST

After you had your initial meeting with Bucky, you suddenly saw him everywhere, unlike before. Of course, you knew it wasn't because of you letting go of your fear of seeing him, but it was the next step in the process. After the first meeting, you had left Steve to walk through the next phase with Bucky, though that didn't mean he wouldn't inform you afterwards. After an hour, of what you knew wasn't only a serious conversation, he came knocking at your door. Without hesitating you let him in and before even closing the door he started to talk. To yours and even his surprise, you learned, he said that Bucky had been pretty willing to take the progress further. That was the reason you saw him more, like now.

You were in the gym, one of your practices with Nat in full swing. You had noticed Bucky entering, about halfway into your session. Though you only had gotten a glimpse of him, it was enough to see that he hunched in on himself. You noted how he sat down on a bench at the far end of the gym, where not many people put their stuff. The same moment you knew your attention strayed a bit too long, you felt it. Your legs got swept from underneath you and with a heavy thud, a groan in its follow, you fell on the sparring matt, wrists stinging from trying to catch yourself.

”You need to concentrate”, Nat’s voice sounded from above and behind you. Rolling over from your stomach to back, you saw the redhead standing just a few feet from you. ”How the hell did you get there?” She couldn’t contain the smug expression as she answered. ”Seems your head was lost for longer than I thought”, she chuckled when you narrowed your brows while sitting up. ”You avoided a few blows, before giving me an open space”. You grunted, knowing very well that you only could blame yourself. ”You can’t make yourself fall for her like that”, the sudden voice made you turn to glance over your shoulder, immediately finding the blonde soldier walking towards you. "I'm gonna use that one towards you next time", you responded and heard his chuckle as he now stepped onto the sparring matt. "You need to take me down first", you raised an amused eyebrow to what he said, unable to hide your own smirk while answering. "You know I'm able to". "All too well", his words fittingly came as he stopped before you, smile still present as he stretched out his hand for you to take. Reaching for it, he helped you to a standing position again.

"Should I leave you guys to the showdown or?" Your attention was pulled towards Nat, who had closed the space between the two fo you. You saw the entertainment in her eyes. "Although I owe you since last week, I have my own session to go to", Steve declined and not until him acknowledging Bucky, did you feel the eyes which were on you. Your minor shift didn't go unnoticed by the blonde, which brows knitted together in the same old Steve fashion way, as he glanced towards Bucky's direction.

"When did he come here?" You didn't want the brown-haired man to feel pressured from multiple sets of eyes on him, so you continued looking up at Steve while answering. "A few minutes, maybe", you said in a hushed tone, one which Nat followed upon. "He's the reason her attention strayed", she nodded towards you and Steve's gaze trailed back towards you. "Only good I have an extra set of eyes to help me, how’s he doing?” ”Haven’t talked to him today, although if you remember we set a meeting later this afternoon last time. So, if it is anything hopefully he’ll tell then”, you further answered. You knew he was more than happy Bucky began socialising even the tiniest bit, but something bugged him, you as well. The frown Bucky had the first time meeting you seemed to be staying. Every time you’d met him, he had it, even when Steves was there.

”Feels like he needs it”, his eyes switched between you and Nat, seeming coming to a realisation. ”Well, I should excuse myself so you can continue”. ”It's okay we're done either way. If you don’t want your ass beaten again?” Nat smugly smiled at you, to which you chuckled. ”Without distraction, I think I owe you a face-full of matt”, Steve huffed out a laugh and patted your shoulder, before heading over to the brunette in the other end of the gym. Following Steve with your gaze, you only noticed Nat taking over his former place beside you from the corner of your eye.

”Are you sure you're gonna beat me? Because your distraction is still here...”, you whipped to look at her, greeted by a mockingly raised eyebrow and head tipped the way Steve and Bucky stood. You looked their way, noticing Bucky still sat on the bench. As if feeling your eyes on him, he turned to look at you.

”Piss off”, you playfully elbowed her, even so only a soft smile spread on her features. ”Sure thing, you coming or?” She glanced towards the soldiers, both now standing and warming up for their sparring. ”I’ll stay, need to fix my sorry ass anyway because of all the times I landed on it today”, you both chuckled while walking to where your things were. ”Understandable, can’t have you fall like that on the field, we need you trigger-happy”, you groaned so loud you think even the boys heard it, but with the despise for the nickname you were unable to do anything else. ”Why did he need to come up with that?” You muttered with as much despise rolling off your tongue, as laugh did when Clint mentioned it the first time in the interrogation room, right before an injured Steve had stumbled in. ”He thought it was funny”. ”It isn’t even accurate”, you threw up your hand in despair, the bag hanging on your shoulder inching down. Nat laughed when you muttered a few chosen curse words the archer's way, almost hoping he would hear them. "Complain all you want, he will not let it go”, she said, you let out a sigh while shaking your head, knowing she was right about that fact.

”Oh almost forgot”, you raised a brow, wondering what it was as she took a step back, coming to stand closer to you before whispering. ”Don’t work that ass in front of the boys, think their attention will be as good as yours”, your eyes widened to what she said. ”Jesus Nat!” You all but shouted, to which she only winked at you before walking away again. You debated on chucking your water bottle in the back of her head, but the eyes you felt bore into the back of your neck, made you conceal yourself.

As you turned around, you met Steves eyes, crinkled in the corners because of his smile. He knew you and the redhead get along well, also about your antics of teasing each other, so he had probably already figured that was the cause of your reaction. Although when you turned to Bucky, his eyes were set on you, a puzzled look on his face. You prayed to whatever god that he hadn’t heard a word Nat just said to you.

”You staying?” Steve asked, breaking the silence which had settled when only the three of you were left. ”Yeah”, you tried shrugging away from the thoughts Nat just planted in your mind. ”Will round up a few things, then I’ll be on my way”, you smiled as you began to walk further into the gym, passing them. Both nodded before engrossing in their conversation, mainly led by Steve, while they walked to the middle of the sparring matt.

You worked through your exercises while trying not to get distracted by the sounds echoing in the gym. Grunts, huffs and moans of displeasure together with heavy thuds and slams of someone falling into the matt was the background sound for you while training. You were happy that most of the machines you needed to use in the machine park were located further in, making you unable to see any of the soldiers sparring. However, even your luck seemed to have run out. When you only had one exercise left, you found yourself walking to the front row of machines. They were lined up alongside the sparring-mats, a safe few feet away although not enough for you. You now had front-seat to the sparring of the two super soldiers.

While piling weights on each side of the machine, Nat’s words kept ringing in your head like a festive banner-waving around. ”Bet ya’ would be laughing in my face if you saw me right now”, you grumbled to yourself imagining Nat standing beside you, laughing while you only tried doing your routine. You stood on the slightly angled platform, putting the top of the machine on your shoulders, hooking off the safety mechanism and started to squat. Clint was the one who had showed you how to use this machine, like the rest of them. Even though he didn’t use it so much himself, he said it could be beneficial for you, which you smacked him in the back of the head for saying. But now you maybe could muster up thanks to the man because yes, it had its effects.

One set in, one more to go and that were when you heard one of the biggest thuds yet. You’d already locked the machine so it wouldn’t come crashing down on you while resting between sets, so turning around you made in no time. Bucky was on the floor, Steve standing and smiling victoriously above him.

”You boys doing good?” The question slipped out from you before you even had the chance to think about it. ”Only minor distractions that’s all”, Steve's laugh eased into a boyish smile while Bucky staggered up to his feet, his furrow gone as he glared at Steve. ”Sure. Just play safe, don’t want anyone of you hurt”, you chuckled, while climbing out of the machine, the last set be damned. ”You don’t want to join us?” Steve asked genuinely, but one look at him told you he was up to something. ”No not really, I would be pinned to the matt more than standing up if going up against any of you”, you didn’t think about your choice of words before seeing Bucky’s raised eyebrows. Maybe he was just shocked about you including him in what you said, but even with his super-soldier enhancement and the metal arm, you highly doubted that was the only thing he reacted to. ”And I have other things to do”, you excused with a smile as you began heading towards the exit. Your eyes didn't stray from the door, not until you heard the baritone voice you’ve gotten used talking to the last two weeks, call out.

”Later?” You turned around, immediately meeting Bucky's gaze, which seemed to never have let you go. Your confusion probably showed in a puzzled expression as he continued his few worded question. ”Talking session?” You caught on quickly after that. ”Of course Bucky, I’ll meet you this afternoon as we decided”, you sent him a small smile and he nodded, turning to Steve who nodded goodbye over his friend shoulder.

You knew that therapy was a charged word, especially for Bucky, so it had come naturally to rename your meetings as soon as you become a regular part of them. Since four weeks back, you've met him three times a week for talking session, spending more time with him than anyone, besides Steve that was. It hadn't been easy in the beginning, the former soldier sparsely, if ever, initiated topics to talk about. Neither did his few worded answers help you, yet you didn't deem the sessions unproductive, as you came to recognise his patterns and triggers. Getting to know these were detrimental, as even Steve seemed oblivious to some, as he pressured for answers on the wrong topics. You had mentioned this to him a week or two ago, since then you noticed how he gave you more room to work with. At first, you feared he got too apprehensive speaking himself, but he soothed your nerves by repeating what he had said to convince in the beginning. You were the professional. Since then, you saw how Bucky slowly relaxed and crept out from the shadows and so did Steve. He started bringing it up often, of course when his friend wasn't nearby, that you were the difference which really helped the former soldier. You argued that there wasn't a difference between you and the other Bucky had worked with before you even knew he was in the tower, yet Steve didn't yield saying he never opened up and to a person quite as fast before.

You stopped your writing for a second, shaking your head while watching a few of the notes you had scribbled down on the paper before you. You couldn’t understand how Steve thought you were the cause for Bucky's slow but steady socialisation with the team. Especially not when reading some of the topics you thought the session today could orientate around. You weren't afraid of silence during these meetings, though, you always had some questions prepared in advance to occupy both of you. Because you knew, he wouldn't feel as comfortable having you studying him in silence as in dialogue. Glancing at the time you saw it was only a few minutes until you would meet Bucky, so you began making your way up there.

You didn’t run into Steve any time walking to Bucky’s room, so when you knocked on his door, you assumed you would see a blonde head greeting you. Only that it didn’t happen. Bucky opened the door, his appearance much different from the first time you saw him. He stood straighter, the height difference separating you much more apparent now. His hair, although damp from what you guessed was his post-workout shower, seemed better kept. Neither did his eyes look as hollow, his face radiated instead of the dullness it had before.

”Hello Bucky”, you greeted him and he mumbled out a greeting before gesturing for you to enter. It was the first time he did that, motioning for you to pass him first instead of he turning and walking in. You weren’t surprised by it but simply didn’t expect it. With a smile, you nodded thanks and walked in. You quickly scanned the room, something you found yourself doing every time coming here, this time perhaps more in search for the blonde man.

”Steve hasn’t come yet”, you acknowledge finding his usual seat empty. Turning around you watched Bucky just about letting go of the door handle, the wooden piece now closed. ”You want to wait for…”, you hadn’t the chance to finish the sentence before he cut you off. ”He won’t come”, he began, probably noticing the blunt tone of his voice when you let out a shocked oh because when continuing, he uncrossed his arms looking down at the floor. ”I thought I could talk with only you this time”, he glanced up from the locks which had fallen in his face. ”If that’s alright?” You smiled at his words, happy with the trust that had begun to settle. ”Of course it’s, you’re the one choosing, we’re just here to help”, you answered him sincerely glancing down at the armchair Steve usually sat in. Perhaps Bucky saw your hesitation because his voice shortly made itself known again. ”It’s ok”, glancing over your shoulder, you saw him slowly walk closer to his usual place. Sitting down, you saw that he did the same, smiling for yourself as it seemed he was a bit more comfortable in your presence than usual.

”So how did the training go?” You didn't think any further about what your question could lead into, not until you saw the familiar tug of a smile in the corner of his lip. ”Good, until Steve whopped my ass one time”, you watched him as it looked like he drifted away in the thought. ”Only one time?” You asked him. The teasing tone which you hid in your voice, instead showed itself as a bit back smirk. ”You think he did it more times?” ”I am positive”, you tried holding your smirk invisible for the man opposite you. ”You’re right he did it a few more times” when he’d said this his eyes flickered away from yours, the frown, which you hadn’t noticed until now hadn’t been present, taking its place. ”Is there something bothering you Bucky?” It looked like you dumped him in ice by his wide eyes snapping to you. ”You just have the same frown Steve sometimes get when in thought, is it something you want to talk about?” You hurried to explain so he wouldn’t get uncomfortable and when he kept looking shocked, you started trying to excuse yourself, thinking you missed a trigger. ”I’m sorry…”

While you got worried trying to find a fault in what you had done, Bucky was in his own head. He zoned out as soon as you wondered if something was wrong, something you noticed simply because of his frown. He was shocked you asked or rather, that you noted it in the first place, but he reminded himself it was your job to do so. No, it wasn’t your job to help him. Steve had asked for it as a favour and while he wasn’t upset about the fact, it bugged him. He didn’t know what you were to Steve, you were close, almost too close to only be friends. The thought of the first time he saw you with his friend made him remember how pleasant your simple present had been. How you had treated him as someone and not something. Yet that was not all, he hadn't needed to verbally express everything he thought. You could read him easier than others, almost even better than Steve. It was nice somehow, not needing to word everything, yet he would feel more at ease if he could've done the same with you. The only things he knew about you he got from observing, besides your name from asking Steve the first time. He knew the blonde noticed his curiosity in you, yet he never brought up the conversation, standing by his words he said after you left the first time. If you want to know more about her, just ask.

What brought him back from his thoughts was your sudden movement and his eyes instantly snapped to you. Your eyes continuously flicked over his features and though he didn't know exactly why he tried reassuring you. ”It’s ok, it ain’t anything I just…”.

You couldn’t tell what he was about to say and after the zone out he just had you didn’t dare to guess either. So you stayed silent until he continued by own accord. He looked up at you, eyes searching your face, the insecurity shining in his own.

”I just wanted to ask you a question?” You furrowed your brows, this was not in the least what you imagined. You nodded, not wanting to offend him if this is what bugged him. ”How are you?” Bucky cringed when asking you, but you couldn't help a soft smile spreading from spreading. ”I’m good, thank you for asking”, you looked at Bucky standing opposite you, he was still timid, but something began telling you that he held himself back. ”Do you have more questions?” You tried saying it gently, mainly as you have seen how tense he became before. You watched him and you saw him take a deep breath and nod.

”I have an idea if your all ears?” His head tilting answered your question, which made you proceed to tell him the plan you thought about before the session. ”Because I ask you a lot of things, getting to gradually know you… it would only be fair that you ask me some in return”, you purposed the thought and even if you couldn’t read his reaction of it being good or bad, his answer confirmed it. ”It would”, his answer came in a more self assure tone and the smile he gave you was the first one you’ve seen been directed towards you.

Taglist: @flowerchild1216 @krystallynx @haven-in-writing @thejamesoldier

Series taglist: @buckysforeverprincess

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porkchop-ao3 · 4 years

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A Thrill I’ve Never Known (Chapter 55)

Choke

Reader has a word with Dutch. Couple of warnings for this one: one use of a racial slur, and some violence.

Tagging @emily-strange ❤

(All chapters tagged with #ATINK and also posted on Ao3, username PorkChop)

Dutch seemed pleased when he returned from Saint Denis with Sadie, rolling in on a wagon dressed up like a lawman. I was stunned to see Sadie in a fancy, floofy dress and a big hat, though it was spattered with blood. They climbed down and Sadie immediately strutted off to get changed, her face twisted with a lingering vengeful look, as Dutch spread his arms wide and puffed himself up to get everyone's attention.

"It's done. Colm O'Driscoll is dead and gone. This is it, people, this is our first real step towards freedom, we just struck one huge thing off the list," he called out, strolling leisurely through the camp towards his tent. "We just gotta make one big bang and then we're gone."

I watched him from my spot on Arthur's bed, hearing Micah's deviant, low titter of a laugh.

"What'd I tell you, boss? This ain't nothing we can't get away from, with our strongest boys we'll be on our way," he said, swinging back on a chair with his feet propped up on the table.

"I can taste it, Mr. Bell. Ain't it a beautiful thing?" Dutch responded, then slipped away into the privacy of his tent. Micah glanced at me then, catching my eye for a moment, mouth curling into a smile. I rose to my feet and made my way over to the back of the women's wagon where Sadie was just finishing getting changed, smoothing out her shirt where it was tucked into her pants.

"Hey Sadie, how'd it go?" I asked.

"It got bloody. But Colm's dead, and whatever lackeys he brought with him, they're dead too," she told me bluntly. "Finally. I've been waiting for the day that those bastards paid for what they did to my husband."

"Good. I hope it hurt," I said quietly, looking towards the ground at the mention of her husband. I never knew how to act.

"You should've seen the look on his face when he realised he weren't getting away, pretty sure he shit himself before they pulled the lever," she gave a mean, scratchy laugh and I had to smile at her getting to see some justice finally delivered. "Bastard deserves everything he gets, what he did to me."

"Couldn't agree more. And I'm glad he's gone, maybe now we'll have some damn breathing space," I sighed.

"Maybe. But I got a word of warning for ya', Dutch got a little pissed off when we was in the bar before we watched Colm swing," she began, picking up her gun belt and buckling it around her waist, retrieving her pistol and sitting down to clean it, "Arthur said some things and Dutch weren't happy."

I frowned and sat down next to her. "What was said, exactly?"

"Arthur asked what the grand plan was, and when he didn't exactly jump for joy at Dutch's answer, his loyalty was called into question. I tried to step in and tell them to buck up, but they butted heads. Well, as much as Arthur'd dare to butt heads with Dutch, said just 'cause he's thinking about the others, don't mean he's disloyal to him. Dutch weren't having it though," Sadie explained, digging her nail into the nooks and crannies of her gun with the cloth. "He weren't particularly kind to Arthur."

I narrowed my eyes, my jaw clenching.

"Dutch said apparently he knows that you and him are talking 'bout leaving," she met my eyes at that, and my chest squeezed uncomfortably. "Arthur looked like he was about to throw up. In the end he just dropped it, and we had to go to the gallows anyway and nothin' more was said about it."

"And where's Arthur now?"

"Ain't sure. We split up and went separate ways after the chaos, I imagine he'll be back later," she told me, and I nodded, rising to my feet.

"Excuse me," I said, and turned to leave.

I was half way towards Dutch's tent when I realised I'd left my cane behind, I didn't stop though. I very nearly ripped back the canvas and barged in, but the possibility that he could be undressed in there halted me, and instead I stopped just shy of the tent and took a breath.

"Dutch? May I come in?" I called out once I'd gathered myself. There was a pause, then movement, and the canvas peeled back. Dutch looked a little confused, of course, I'd never really gone out of my way to speak to him in all the months I'd been around. "I'd like to speak with you."

"Of course," he said, his tone jumping up with a politeness that unnerved me.

He stepped aside and let me enter. I'd never really been inside his tent. They were far more luxurious lodgings than the rest of the camp had, that was for sure, with animal furs on the floor and everything. Dutch gestured for me to take a seat on the bed, and he stood before me with his arms crossed. I sat up straight, my hands clasped in my lap.

"I want Arthur to leave with me," I said, coming right out with it. "He knows this, and I ain't gonna try and hide it from anyone."

"Is that so?" His brows jumped up. I kept my eyes focused steadily on his.

"Yes."

"And why exactly are you telling me this, may I ask?"

"I wanna make it clear that it's me that wants it, it's me who's asking Arthur to come away with me. And Arthur is… he cares a lot about this gang. He ain't going anywhere," I explained to him, my voice as strong as I could manage despite the fact I was so nervous my hands shook.

"Well, my dear, if you don't wanna be in this gang anymore, you know where the figurative door is. Nobody's stopping you," he cocked a brow, crossing his arms.

"It ain't that. It's not that I want to leave the gang. I just– I want Arthur to be safe. And I want to be with him, where we can try and be free from all those people that're after him," I clarified, shaking my head, "but he ain't prepared to leave all of you, he's known you longer and I ain't gonna force him to choose between us. So I'm staying."

"I still don't know why this has anything to do with me. It sounds like you and Arthur have discussed this at length just between the two of you and have come to a compromise, what do you expect me to do with this information, Miss?" His face was hard but his tone was easy and polite. He had a way of doing that…

"Because I believe you might begin to question Arthur. You heard him the night of my injuries, he mentioned us leaving, but I know for sure he was only saying that in the moment. He didn't really mean it, and I know this because I called him out and asked him to stick to his words. He couldn't," in a way I felt guilty for painting Arthur out as being against leaving with me. It wasn't entirely true, but Dutch needed to hear it. "I just have to tell you this, the truth, so that Arthur ain't punished for my sake," I added.

"You think I'd punish him for wanting to leave?"

"Yes, actually, I do. I think you'd resent him, after all you've done for him," I admitted, attempting to stroke his ego just a bit; I thought it'd help my case, "and I ain't here to tell you whether you should or shouldn't be mad at something like that. I'm here to tell you that Arthur ain't thinking like you think he is. Lord knows I wish he was, but I ain't that lucky."

"But my guess is you're gonna keep on working on him, try and get him to see sense?" He tilted his head, his brow cocking again.

I lifted my shoulders lightly. "I will keep on telling him what I want and hope that someday he'll want it too."

"Well, I'm sorry, Miss, but from where I'm standing, if what you're telling me is true, maybe Arthur ain't all that committed to you. Is it in your best interests to put yourself in the firing line for a man who won't commit to you, one-hundred percent?" He proposed, his head tilting down, eyes peering up through his lashes, partially obscured by the brim of the hat he wore. "Maybe you should… cut your losses and get out of here before it's too late for you, all these Pinkertons about. You've already been injured. Perhaps you gotta start thinking about what's best for you."

"Like Molly did?" I don't know why I said it. I don't know what possessed me, but it gave Dutch pause, his expression flinching to mild surprise before being concealed behind indifference.

"Yes, like Molly did," he responded after some time, voice low and level. "You should know that a leopard don't change its spots, no matter how pretty a lady comes along. This wouldn't be the first time Arthur's chosen the gang over a woman, you likely won't be an exception, and I just don't wanna see a sweet thing like you get hurt," the treacle in his tone made me nauseous, but I forced a smile.

"I appreciate the concern. But I'm not going anywhere, Arthur might not be leaving the gang for me but I'll wait for him, even if that means I'm waiting the rest of our lives," I told him. "Because I love him, and I don't care where we are as long as we're together."

"Oh, that's sweet. I usually like a little naivety in a girl, though it does so often border on wilful ignorance," he said.

"So I'm ignorant?"

"I never said that," he shook his head innocently, brows curving up, "but perhaps you're beatin' a dead horse, so to speak."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you're in love with him… and he loves you, I ain't got much doubt about that. I know just what a fool that man can be when he's taken by a woman, after all I was there when he was getting pulled in two directions by Mrs. Linton. He loved Mary, too. But Arthur never could leave this gang then, just like he can't now," he said to me, eyes boring into me, I'd been staring at his face so long in the muted light of the tent that his face seemed to start to warp and twist into something ugly and unsettling.

"So you really think I should leave and not look back because Arthur ain't never gonna come away with me?" I kept my expression neutral and my tone flat, trying not to give away anything about how I was feeling.

"I think that might serve you better in the long run, but that's just my advice. Take it or leave it."

"And you'd tell me that, even after you said yourself that you don't doubt Arthur loves me, you'd hurt him like that?"

"It wouldn't be me doing the hurting, my dear, I ain't got nothing to do with yours and his relationship, this is all up to you," he chuckled, shaking his head. "You came in here wanting to speak to me, and I just gave my advice."

"Well, wanting to speak with you and asking for your advice are two different things. I just came in here to tell you not to treat Arthur like dirt because of me."

"Hm, right you are. Well, unsolicited as it may be, my advice was given. You've worked hard for this gang, it'd be a real shame for you to throw your life away, risk it because of a romance that you can find with any old feller, ones that don't have to run away from anything for you. I love Arthur, I do, but the man is the furthest thing from a good suitor," he laughed and shook his head.

I was quiet for a moment, letting his words sink in. Then I took a breath and rose to my feet.

"Well, thank you for your time."

"My pleasure, why I do believe this is the first real conversation you and I have ever had. If you choose to stick around, I'd be remiss if we didn't do this more often," he chuckled, his overly proper and friendly manner wearing thin.

"I'll leave you to whatever you were doing, take care, now," I nodded to him before letting myself out of the tent, taking a cooling breath once I was out in the open again and away from his suffocating presence. There was something about Dutch that made it hard to relax and breathe, he dominated any space just by existing, took up too much room. I didn't like it at all.

"Workin' on Dutch, now, are we? You like the fellers, don't you?" Micah sniggered from his spot at the table by Dutch's tent.

"Leave her alone, Micah," Javier sighed from a ways behind him, taking a drink of water from one of our drinking barrels. I stopped dead and levelled my gaze to Micah.

"What? She's already screwing one of 'em, and she's getting mighty close to the likes of Marston and that darkie, always fluttering her lashes at the lot of them," he continued anyway, and I felt Javier looking at me. "Dutch even got a glimpse at Shady Belle. Remember that, sweetheart? Yeah, he told me about that."

I walked towards him, sitting down on the chair opposite. I kept my eyes so focused on his, to the point that he started looking uncomfortable. He glanced away for a second, then back at me. He almost looked confused.

"Keep going. Tell me more about myself, what else I been doing?" I asked.

Micah's mouth hung open just so, his brow furrowed a bit.

"So, I'm fucking Arthur," I counted it off on my finger, "flirting with John and– I'm sorry, who else was it?"

"Charles, I think he meant," Javier answered for him.

"Charles. Course, you didn't use his name. Anyway, Dutch saw me at Shady Belle, sure, but what was I doing?"

"You were prancing around on top of Morgan like a whore," Micah spat venomously.

"Like a whore? So, I looked experienced, at least. That's flattering," I nodded, and Javier snorted. "What else then?"

Micah hesitated.

"Sneaking into Dutch's tent," Javier added, and I glanced up to see him grinning, enjoying whatever I was doing… I wasn't really sure what that was but it was happening with a flurry of adrenaline and the urge to wind Micah up.

"Oh yeah, trying my luck with him," I nodded, "thank you, Mr. Escuella, Mr. Bell seems to have forgotten his tongue."

"Then there was you being a little cock tease with me," Micah finally said, attempting to flip it to his gain.

"Cock tease? But according to you I'm dishing it out left and right, I ain't one for teasing," I frowned comically. "Why'd it be any different with you Mr. Bell? Surely I should be throwing myself at you like I do with everyone else."

I raised my brows at him expectantly but he kept his mouth shut.

"No, it's 'cause that was all in your head. Truth is I wouldn't touch you with a barge-pole if your limp dick was the last damn thing on Earth and my life depended on sucking it for sustenance, you're disgusting," I hissed through gritted teeth, letting a fair amount of pent up anger out at him as I rose to my feet and leaned over the table towards him. I heard Javier choke at my foul language.

The next thing I knew, my hair was being yanked; Micah's hand wrapped around the braid that hung forwards as I leaned, dragging me down to his level. I cried out in shock and pain.

"Someone ought to teach you some goddamn manners you nasty little girl," he growled, his face far closer than I ever wanted it. A surge of adrenaline sent my hand up to his neck where I grappled and squeezed whatever I could get purchase on, doing whatever came naturally to get him to let go of me.

"Don't you ever fucking touch me!" I screamed, wrenching my head back out of his loosened grip, shoving him back into his chair by his throat.

"Woah, woah! Jesus Christ!" Javier was there, a hand on my shoulder, shoving me back, one on Micah's, keeping him in his chair as he choked and rubbed at his neck.

"Fucking psycho!" Micah's hoarse yell was my only evidence I hadn't done any real damage.

"You listening, shit head? You fucking touch me again and I won't let go next time," I spat, whirling around to storm off, slamming straight into someone coming up behind me. I stepped back and looked up to see Arthur's panicked, wide eyes, mouth hanging open. Shame washed through me.

"What's going on out here?" Dutch yelled from the parted flaps of his tent.

"Nothing! Just fucking leave me alone!" I yelled, storming off away from it all, my face burning. Arthur's hand tried to catch my wrist but I jerked it away, not wanting to be kept in that place any longer. I headed down the slope towards the river, the only place I could think to go. Half-way down I regretted not going to the horses, but I didn't even know if I could mount a horse with my leg. I wasn't even really supposed to be walking without support, but it was a bit late for that.

I marched down the edge of the river, my feet slamming down on the rocks below loudly. I stopped soon, the adrenaline wearing off and bringing pain to my attention. My leg throbbed with my quick pulse, but my scalp did too. He'd pulled hard, way harder than I thought. I hobbled over to a rock and slumped down, taking in a shaky, stuttered breath as I released the ribbon that held my braid in, fingering the strands apart and shaking my hair loose. I pushed my fingers through my hair and rubbed at my tender scalp as more shaky breaths came, I felt like I couldn't quite pull a satisfactory breath, and I buried my head in my hands. I felt out of control, like my fingers were slipping from the situation and I couldn't quite grasp my own peace like I'd managed before.

I was always just about able to keep my head, to go along with things and stop myself from lashing out and snapping at every new blow that came my way. But with Micah… I'd strangled him. Even if it was only for a moment, I had my hand around his throat and I'd squeezed. And for what? He'd teased me about speaking to Dutch, it was mild, really. Sure, he'd pulled my hair but I'd provoked him, hadn't I? It was one bad decision after the other–

I was alone for only a few moments before inevitably the crunch of pebbles underfoot came close.

"Please just don't look at me. I wanna be alone," I said.

"I ain't sure if I can do that," it was Arthur, of course. "I'm not leaving you out here with a bad leg and no gun," he added, and I realised he was right. I hadn't equipped my holster that morning, I hadn't felt like wearing it most days while I was sitting around camp.

"I don't wanna go back there," I whispered, hiding my face from him.

"That's okay. I ain't gonna make you," he replied gently, the crunching of stones drawing nearer until I felt his hand scrubbing back and forth across the top of my shoulders. "What the hell happened?"

I heard his breath as he crouched down to my level, his hand on my shoulder, clearly wanting me to look at him.

"He yanked my hair, pulled me right up close to him," I breathed.

"Yeah I saw that part, I was on my way over there to knock a few more teeth loose. But you had it covered, didn't you?" He sounded amused, almost.

"Don't. I ain't proud," I shook my head.

"What did he say?"

I paused. If I told him the complete truth I'd have to explain how I'd been to speak to Dutch. I didn't think Arthur would be that pleased about me interfering like I had. But I didn't want to lie or hide things from him…

"He was being a bastard because I was speaking to Dutch. He made some comments about how I'm getting all cozy with the men here… it weren't a big deal, I pushed him, it got out of hand," I sighed.

"What's that supposed to mean, getting all cozy?" He snorted humourlessly and I was relieved that he didn't question why I'd spoken to Dutch.

"Who knows? Apparently just speaking to a man means I'm sleeping with him, or trying to. You know how he is, he's speaking out of his ass and trying to wind me up. I'm ashamed to say he was successful."

"Don't be ashamed. It's been tough these few weeks, everyone's been lashing out. I don't blame you one bit," he said, rubbing at my shoulder soothingly. My heart squeezed and soared for him and I lifted my head, closing the space between us and hugging him tightly, pressing my face into his neck.

"I don't know why I did it. I snapped. I don't wanna hurt no one, not even Micah, I can't believe I–" I stopped, breathing deep to stop myself from crying.

"You didn't hurt him, he's fine. Well enough to talk shit before I came after you," he assured me but it didn't really help.

"That was so ugly of me, I should just rise above it and walk away. This ain't like me, you're right. About what you said before about seeing yourself change in this gang, maybe that's happening," I leaned back to look at him. He was lost for words, his brows curved in distress and his mouth hanging wordlessly open. "I think I just need a break. I've been there since we arrived. I ain't been out and away from everyone for some time now."

"You want me to get the horses? We can ride out– can you ride?"

"I think I'd be okay side-saddle."

"You can ride with me, then, we can set up a camp elsewhere. You want that?" He cupped my face, thumbs stroking the tops of my cheeks. I nodded my head. "Okay. I'll pack us some things and come get you. You'll be alright here for a couple minutes?" He glanced around as he spoke. I nodded my head.

"Are you sure? You don't have to drop everything for me."

"I ain't got nothing to drop. And even if I did, it ain't no sacrifice spending time with you, you know that," he pressed a kiss to my forehead before getting up. "I'll be as quick as I can, princess."

"Can we take Rayna? Been a while since she's been out," I caught him before he left. He smiled at me fondly and nodded, then carried on back towards camp.

I wasn't waiting long, as he soon returned, walking up the path on the back of Rayna. I heaved myself up off the rock and gingerly headed over to him; he dismounted to help me, taking my arm and helping me up the craggy incline to the path where Rayna was waiting. He grabbed something from the saddlebag and handed it to me. My gun belt.

"Put that on, princess. I don't want you going 'round without it in these parts," he warned, and I nodded and fastened it around my hips, taking my revolver out momentarily to refamiliarise myself with the weight of it in my hand.

"Okay, let's go," I said, and Arthur lifted me onto Rayna's back, then joined me.

"Anywhere in particular you wanna go?" He asked once we were mounted.

"Hmm, there's a real pretty place north from here, if we follow up the Kamassa river. Brandywine Drop, there's this waterfall there, apparently it's beautiful. Maybe we could camp there?" I suggested, and Arthur immediately began down the path.

"You camped there before?"

"No, I ain't even ever been there. My dad liked to fish up there, he told me about it, showed me all the places he went on a map. I had planned to go up there one day but I never got around to it."

"Well, there might be some predators up there. I ain't worried about that, I've camped in all sorts of places; I just remember how you was when we went on that hunting trip with Charles," he said. I chuckled, squeezing my arms around his midriff, leaning my cheek against his shoulder blade.

"I was okay once I was sleeping next to you," I reminded him, and he hummed softly in acknowledgement.

"Okay then, we'll check it out," he said, and we rode peacefully northward, following the babbling water of the Kamassa river as closely as the path would allow.

"Sadie told me that Colm's gone," I said quietly, and felt Arthur nod. "How're you feeling?"

"It was a little messy. But it's done, and I'm glad about it. It was nice to see him swinging from a rope after what he did to me," he huffed. "My shoulder still don't feel totally right. Maybe it never will."

"It don't? You never said that," I lifted my head and gingerly rubbed at the shoulder in question.

"Feels pretty stiff, can't move it as much as I can the other. Still does most of what I want it to, but I'm reminded of it every time I lift my arms past a certain point. More of a nuisance than anything," he murmured. I silently kissed it, not knowing what to say. "But I lived, that's more than most people who pissed Colm O'Driscoll off can say."

"I'd say you're lucky, but I can't bring myself to," I whispered, sliding my hand around his front, slipping it between the open top few buttons of his shirt and union suit to press against his chest, to feel his heartbeat. "You've been through enough that it'd be in bad taste."

"I got you getting me through it. I don't say it enough but I can't tell you how much it helps having you, I don't know how I'd be feeling if I was alone," he said under his breath. "The way I was after Guarma, when I– when my emotions boiled over like that. If you weren't there I don't know who I'd turn to. No one's ever seen me like that."

I didn't know what to say again. I felt stupid, even a little bit rude not saying anything at all, but all the words that came to mind weren't enough.

"I love you. And the thought of you is what's getting me through this; watching Dutch change into someone I barely recognise. Watching this gang become more and more strained, all this tension, like we're all moments away from a massive blow out. When I close up our tent and settle in with you for the night, those times with just you and me, it's calm. I… I need that. Right now it's all I've got," he said, just talking as if he was writing in his journal. He didn't need a response, I sensed that, but I wanted to give him one.

"There ain't a single moment I regret joining this gang. Even when my leg hurts and Micah's pushing my buttons, or the Pinkertons are firing bullets at us, I never, ever think about my life before I joined and long for it. You're worth everything we're put through. I'd stay no matter what. You're worth it and more," I told him. "And you deserve all the love this world can give. You're precious, you really are, I don't care what the newspapers write or anything like that."

I snuggled closer, wrapping my arms around him as firmly as they'd allow, pulling him against my chest like I never wanted to let go; because I didn't. I longed to be like this always and every moment I was allowed to taste what it was like I drank it up with vigour. Arthur was precious. He was a treasure to me, something I wished I could keep safe though I knew it was out of my hands whenever he left for another job. My heart ached with dread when I thought about it because I'd never been so full of love for a single person. I never knew I could feel such a way. It was both beautiful and terrifying.

#rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #arthur morgan #fanfiction #arthur morgan x reader #atink #arthur morgan x female reader #rdr2 fanfic #reader insert

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spideyboi-imagines-blog · 5 years

Text

Saved - 1 (Peter Parker T.H)

You sighed as you heard the voicemail of your best friend, after ringing him for the fourth time that night.

Hi! It's Parker, Peter Parker. Call me later? His chirpy voice sounded through your phone speaker, as you sat on the curb of the road, sniffing slightly, rubbing your watery eyes furiously.

"Peter? It's Y/N. I've rang you , like, four times now. Can you please pick up? I... I needed a lift home, but Mom is out of town, and Y/S/N isn't replying and I don't wanna walk through Queens by myself in the dark and-"

The answering machine cut off with a beep and you cursed softly.

"Damnit, Parker."

You couldn't wait any longer - you'd been sat outside your boyfriends - well, ex boyfriend, now - house for twenty minutes now, after storming out after a particularly bad argument, and you probably needed to accept that neither Peter, nor your sister, was going to pick up the phone anytime now. Pulling your sweater sleeves down, to cover your cold hands, and swinging your bag over your shoulder, you looked up at the darkening sky, the moon just beginning to show, and began the twenty minute walk home. It'll be fine. You told yourself, chewing at your already bitten-to-the-quick nails. It's not even properly dark yet.

Your phone was in your hands, so you'd have something to look at, anything, to distract you, from the anxiety that was building up in your stomach, but you had no one to text. The only people you were close enough to message were seemingly ignoring you, and you found yourself wondering just why Peter was ignoring you. Perhaps he was with Ned , you mused, or MJ. You didn't know exactly why you felt jealous at that. It's not like Peter and I were best friends first or anything... You thought sarcastically, hating your slightly bitter tone.

You were ten minutes away from your home, a little apartment on the top floor of a building on the outskirts of Queens, you realised, as you passed a closed café you often frequented, for the ice blue slushies that you and Peter drank on a hot day, or warm pepper mint coffee in the midst of winter. You could do with a warm drink right now, at eight o clock in November, your warm breath steaming out in front of you, visible from the dim light of your phone.

A ping came from your phone, distracting you from your surroundings.

Peter Parker 🦕 is typing...

A small smile appeared on your face. He hadn't forgotten you at all. He was just busy. Your anxious thoughts subsided for a few minutes - you weren't annoying him, he-

"Give me the phone." A harsh voice spoke from in front of you, and a tiny, shocked, shriek, elicited from your lips, as you looked up to see a teenager, perhaps only a few years older than you, his face partially shadowed by a hood from his jumper.

He was taller than you, only by a little, and in the day time, perhaps you wouldn't have been so scared.

But nighttime, in an empty street? A whole other thing.

You froze, like a deer, in headlights.

"I-"

"Give me the phone." He snapped.

"No, I-" You protested weakly, thinking about how many photos and memories were contained in the iPhone in your hand, the one you cursed yourself for waving it around, almost asking to be robbed.

"I won't ask again. Give me the fucking phone."

You were trembling, as you held out the phone, trying to think of anyway you could get away. But you knew, in the stupid heeled boots that adorned your feet, you couldn't exactly run.

He grabbed it hastily, and it occurred to you that he didn't seem like a very experienced robber, him looking around every few seconds for what you could only assume were the authorities, that very rarely patrolled this part of Queens anyway.

"Please, don't take my phone-"

You were cut off, shrieked again, not by the boy in front of you, but by a presence, another person, who seemed to have dropped from the fucking rooftops.

You blinked, ready to run, heeled boots be damned, when you properly looked at the person, and felt a gasp elicit from your lips. Spider-Man?

"Everything okay here?" He looked directly at you, in a tone that sounded deep, but almost as if he was putting it on - it kept cracking.

The robber in front of you was as pale as you now, mouth open wide

in surprise.

"H-He took my phone." You were still trembling from shock, pointing at the older boy in front of you.

The boy looked down at your phone, back to Spider-Man, back to you, and then, quick as a flash, dropped it to the ground and took off running, faster than you would have guessed he could have.

You immediately dived towards the mobile, on the ground, picking it up hastily, as Spider-Man took off too, after the would-be robber.

You were still shaking, but more in shock than in genuine fear. Two or three large cracks now were on your phone screen, and you sighed a little, but were just glad that that was the only casualty of the night. The notification from before Peter Parker 🦕 is typing... still remained on your screen, but no more joined it. No frantic phone calls from the boy, not even a single text was on the screen. You stared at that for a few seconds, unsure of what you had done to him to cause him to ignore you, before deciding that the situation at hand was arguably more important.

Standing up, dusting off your baggy jeans, you carefully zipped your phone into your bag, surprised the robber hadn't tried to take that also. You looked around, to see that both people who had been on the street with you a few moments ago had both disappeared. What were you supposed to do? Wait for Spider-Man to come back? You decided that you had already waited around enough for people tonight, and began glumly walking back home again, looking around you constantly, on edge, and therefore, saw Spider Man just before he frightened the living daylights out of you again, dropping down from above you.

"Jesus, dude, you really need to stop fucking doing that." You pointed out, crossing your arms.

"Sorry, ma'am." He had an almost grin in his voice.

Huh. Ma'am?

"You okay?" He continued, still trying to put on that deep tone. You could almost swear you recognised it.

You shrugged. "I guess."

"Why are you walking around alone?" He questioned.

"Broke up with my boyfriend. I was hoping my friend would come walk me home - he knows I don't like the dark much. He didn't show though."

You very much sounded like you needed pity, and you very much so hated that. You continued.

"It's fine. He was just busy. He's busy a lot."

The boy next to you, walking, not swinging around the rooftops as he was usually pictured, paused for a few moments.

"I'm sure he wanted to be there, he-"

You shrugged. "It's like this a lot. I'm, unfortunately, used to it. I get it. We're just growing apart."

"I-I'm sure that's not it-"

"Look, Spider-Man , I don't need you to be my shrink or whatever."

You laughed a little. "But thankyou. For saving me."

He turned in your direction, and you'd imagine, without a mask, he'd be grinning. A soft grin, that barely pulled up the corners of his mouth - he'd be tired, you guessed, and -

"No problem. What's your name?"

"Y/N."

"Hi Y/N, I'm Spider-Man." He replied.

You laughed. "I don't get a real name?"

He paused again. "I-I don't usually-"

"It's fine dude. I get it. Anonymity is key." You smiled softly, before walking in silence for a few minutes.

"You gonna follow me the whole way home, Spidey?"

"Just wanna make sure you're safe."

"I appreciate it." You smiled at him, before looking up at the building in front of you. "Well, this is me."

You looked at him.

"See ya around, Spidey."

He laughed, a cute laugh, that, god didn't you recognise it?

"See ya around, Y/N."

#peter parker #spiderman #spidermanfanfiction #spidermanimagines #spidermanimagine #peterparkerimagines #peterparkerimagine #tomholland #spidermanfluff

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