#wrong she is leaving a whole 9 year old to fend for herself and will beat her if the neighbors find out so community/babysitter is just

[fluffyeddybear]

I fucking hate Kinzo so much this man made a deal with a witch for like 10 tons of gold and is mad that his kids couldn't go out and start their own businesses and make as much money as he has. Motherfucker you made a deal with a WHOLE ASS WITCH for all that and used it for influence to make MORE!! You had the biggest and only supernatural head start! Bitch I'll shoot you.

#and like i had a thought. Krauss's failure was his ego. he just wouldn't stop and kept building up debt from failing endeavors #Eva or rather Hideyoshi's 'failure' was that he gave a shit about his workers. he cared about these people but his investors don't #and these greedy bastards are trying to kick him out of the company #Rudolph as far as I know is in some copyright infringement mess and the company suing them seem greedy too #so it sounds like he got careless and ran into the wrong one though corporations are greedy anyway so...hay in a hay stack #and Rosa's fashion company is just not getting business idk too much there and she's off living it up with some man while not inherently #wrong she is leaving a whole 9 year old to fend for herself and will beat her if the neighbors find out so community/babysitter is just #nonexistent for this poor child. literal neglect and abuse hello

[daddysfangirls-anime]

I’ll be back

Pairing: Levi x reader

warning: language, beating, sad, angst, attempt sexual assault.

summary: Levi loved someone who was too young to love and decided to break her would be better. He was wrong.

Prompt: People think the lion fell in love with the lamb but it was the other way around. The lamb fell in love with the lion…

Right before he broke her heart;  Before he destroyed her; Before he tore her into pieces…

“And so the lion fell in love with the lamb…”

The Lion and The Lamb

 Levi Ackerman

Originally posted by aurieackerman

The Lion.

He was cruel but not cruel enough to walk past the please of a girl in need. Sighing in annoyances he followed the young girls scream into an alley. He leaned against a wall for a moment watching a young girl struggle against three men.

She kicked, punched, and clawed as the men laughed and beat her down. She looked about 12 Years old maybe younger. She wore sandals and a white dress that obviously wasn’t white anymore.

The Lamb.

He tensed up when he saw one of the men begin to unbuckle his pants. This was where he drew the line.

“hey” he shouted pushing off the wall and walked towards them “that’s enough, leave her alone”

“Hey pal, mind your own business just keep walking.” One guy steps forward he was about 5′9 with blonde hair he had a tooth gap and smelled heavily of booze, all of them smelled heavily of booze they were all filthy.

He scoffed and looked as the blonde approached and put a hand on his shoulder, a filthy hand, bad idea. As quick as he could he kicked the guy in the back of his leg making him drop to his knees then took his arm and kneeing it snapping it in two. The blonde screeched and fell back.

“Holy shit. He snapped Gavin’s arm. He fucking snapped Gavin’s arm” another guy yelled trembling as he backed away. He seemed to be the youngest of the three and the most scared.

“Get Him” the other guy shouted he was fatter and bald. He was the one with his pants unbuckled he was holding the girl’s head in his hands.

“I’m out of here”

“Charlie. Charlie, Charlie get your ass back here, Charlie”

“Fuck you Riley” the bald guy, Riley, groaned and looked towards the guy about to kick his ass.

“you think you’re tough”

the so-called tough guy pulled out a pocket knife “ I think I’m annoyed and disgusted by you pigs” taking a large step he thrust his knife into Riley’s shoulder forcing him to cry out and step off the girl. Pulling back he slashed his face and Riley fell back.

“I should get you like the pig you are” he turned away from him and to the girl.

He took a knee beside her “are you okay?” she continued to just look forward and sob. Her right eye was swollen shut her face bloody and bruised. She couldn’t feel anything.

“where do you live?” she crooked out her address he then picked her up and took her home.

“what’s your name?” he asked as he bandaged her up

“ (y/n) (L/n)”.

The Lamb.

“Levi Ackerman”.

The Lion.

“where’s the rest of your family?” Levi asked.

“My- my brother is a soldier, scout regime, left last year”

he’s probably died Levi thought “where are your parents?” the room fell silent Levi didn’t think she heard him “where’s your -”

“dead. Everyone died. I’m alone”. Her brother took care of her all of her life. Her mother was a prostitute who abandons her children when it got too hard. Their aunt was generous to pick them up and take care of them the best she could. But two weeks ago she had fallen and never recovered. (y/n) was left to fend for herself, which she was doing poorly at.

Levi finished fixing up her face then cleaned up, he meant to clean up the mess he made but ended up cleaning the whole house. (y/n) watched from her seat on the couch. This man, Levi, was very sweet and kind or at least seemed that way.

“how old are you?” Levi asked swiping the floors

“12″ she answered. Levi was 21.

“This place is dirty”

“I’m sorry”

“it’s fine I’ll teach you. How long have you been alone?” Levi asked as he checked her cabin which were empty

“four days”.

“Alright, I’ll be back” that’s what he said as he left (y/n) though it meant a few minutes or hours, in reality, he meant a few days. When Levi returned he waltzed right in and headed to the kitchen with bags. (y/n) didn’t know this and grabbed a bat she tiptoed into the kitchen seeing the intruder she raised the bat alone her head and swung down the intruder caught it.

“listen hear you ungrateful little brat” immediately she dropped that bat and began to apologize. Levi ignored her and continued to put things away. Her cabin was now stocked with food and cleaning supplies.

“I’ll be back” once again he was gone this time he didn’t return for two weeks. When he came back it was late at night and you were trying to go to bed when she got up and saw Levi in the middle of her living room she broke into tears Levi once again ignore her tears.

“I’ve brought books,” he said placing a stack of books on the kitchen table.

“where did you go?” once again ignored Levi checked her cabin she was still stocked. Looking at her he noticed her clothes were a bit small.

“I’ll be back … with clothes”

“no wait please” (y/n) said but it’s too late and Levi’s out the door.

Once again she was alone. Levi comes and went as he please which hurt (y/n) a lot. Having no friends or family (y/n) was left alone. Ever since that incident with three men, she didn’t risk going outside. The only person she had to connect with is Levi and he never stayed. And it hurt (y/n) every time he left because she never knew when he’d be back but she kept hope in her little breaking heart that he would.

The relationship continued like this for a little under a year until Levi stopped coming for good. Unknowing to (y/n) Levi was forced to join the scout regiment with his two loyal friends, siblings. For a year (y/n) learned to fend and steal for herself and once again she was alone but more alone than before. The underground was not a place for a child alone yet here she is.

A year after leaving Levi returned. (y/n) came back home to find Levi on her couch reading a book that he brought her long ago.

“you’re back” (y/n) said as she got teary-eyed she immediately tried to hug him but he got up before she reached him “ I stocked your cabin“

“where have you been?” she asked sitting on her knees on the couch “The place is really clean. You’ve done well” he ignores her question. She didn’t need to know his business what he did was his problem. She needed to stay in her child-like world and stop asking the question before she got answers she didn’t like. But she was going to have to get an answer she wasn’t going to like

“14, right?”

“excuse me?”

“you’re 14, now, right? 14 years old”

“yeah,” he nods acknowledging her.

“where did you go?” (y/n) asked again wiping tears away Levi didn’t say anything he walked over to the coat rack pulling something from his jacket a letter. He placed it on the kitchen table. It was a letter that contains an answer she didn’t like to a question she never asked.

Levi left standing outside the house he stood there he heard her crying. Now she knew her brother wasn’t coming home. Levi walked away as he knew he formed another crack in her already breaking heart. Levi never came back after that.

A few months later wall Maria fell and (y/n), The Little Lamb, made a choice to follow Levi, The bold Lion. 5 years later they’d be introduced to each other again by Commander Erwin Smith (y/n) (L/n) as a new and top recruit and Levi Ackerman as the Captain of the top scout regime squad.

“Levi I’d like you to meet Cadet (L/n) the top recruit of her class and new recruit ago he found her a child in the street him an early young man. He caught uncertain feelings for her in her young supposedly teenage years and his early adult years. He tried to keep her safe and healthy and away from danger while keeping his distance with his uncertain feelings. And also breaking her heart hoping she’d never feel the same. But she did at a very young age, she did.

The Lamb fell in love with The Lion as he tried not to love her. But in the end, The Lion fell in love with The Lamb which he had broken.

#levi ackerman #levi attack on titan #levi #the lion and the lamb #levi fanfiction #aot fanfiction #snk fanfiction #fanfiction #attack on titan #attack on titan fanfiction #snk #shingeki no kyoujin #shingeki no kyoujin levi #levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader

[thenixkat]

Avatarverse rewrite 9

The Other Avatar

After the fall of Ba Sing Se the Avatar line of succession split in two with Aang’s death and resurrection. The Avatar Spirit basicly saw that Aang kicked it and hopped into a newborn in the Foggy Swamp Tribe and then got very confused when Aang was alive again and it was suddenly in two mortal bodies. Eventually the Avatar Spirit got over it but the split does mean that there’s a glitch in the Avatar line where the Branch line skips over Avatar Aang and the Branch Avatars can’t communicate with the Mainline Avatars from Aang onward. Both Avatars cannot be in the Avatar State at the same time.

The public generally refuses to believe in the existence of two Avatars, generally leading that the one who’s at the wrong phase of the cycle and the wrong age is likely an imposter or con or some spirit shenanigans.

Because they are in a different place in the Avatar cycle than where the cycle should be the Branch Avatars are never discovered by the proper process or announced. Whatever teaching they find they find on their own and do not have the support of nations or the respect someone of their position should.

A decent amount of spirits are of the opinion that there should only be one Avatar. That the Avatar split could be a terrible premonition of a world swamped with Avatars. How to make there only be one Avatar? A few spirits think that ripping the Avatar spirit out of its mortal form and shoving into the other Avatar would work. Would it work? Who knows. The Avatars say no thank you at the idea.

Branch line Avatars:

Avatar Jian

- Born in the Foggy Swamp to a Foggy Swamp tribe nonbender and a western Earth Kingdom refugee who was also a nonbender.

Never really referred to herself as an Avatar but was aware of it and allowed others to do so. Met Avatar Roku and Yangchen in the swamp and learned from them who she was.

Because of being raised in the swamp she was an extremely spiritual person and managed to reach her own form of enlightenment in her 20s. She was like most swampfolk a pretty mellow and relatively unflappable person. And from the Earth Kingdom and Southern Water Tribe refugees that integrated into the swamp she gained a strong sense of justice and morality.

Her animal guide was an absolutely massive catgator nicknamed Ol’ Snaggletooth by the community decades before she was ever born. ‘Tooth took a liking to her when she was but a toddler and they were all but inseparable for the rest of her life.

Only mastered waterbending (Foggy Swamp style, SWT style, vinebending, healing), energybending (chi reading, distant sight, healing, spiritbending), and earthbending (Common Omashu style, Foggy Swamp Style, metalbending, invented woodbending) in her lifetime. Learned a little firebending from a few of the firebending Earth Kingdom refugees. And figured out a little airbending by copying the local birds and bugs.

Was born in the last year of the 100 year war but as a child experienced the fall out of it as well as the effects of the Fire Nation’s ongoing colonization. Started fighting back with a group of her friends against a lot of injustices as well as providing aid and medicine to people.

Got off on the wrong foot with Aang and stayed on the wrong foot. Came to blows more than once which were more about distracting the other Avatar and his friends from what her comrades were up to than actually defeating Aang (the difference in their age and experience tended to give him the advantage).

Retired from active freedom fighting in her 40s to become the new protector of the Foggy Swamp after her teacher Huu’s passing. For another 20 yrs she fended off all threats to her swamp as a new city grew up inside it and passed away peacefully surrounded by friends and family.

B/c of her strong spirituality she continues looking out for her swamp after her death and is a willing teacher of both ecology and the spiritual arts.

Avatar Onini

- born in the slums of Ba Sing Se to a carpenter (untalented earthbender) and a mask maker (nonbender).  

Lost their bender parent at age 8 due to a workplace accident. Lost their nonbender parent at 10 to being disappeared by the Dai Li for being critical of the Earth Queen. Spent another 4 years just trying to survive on the streets, mostly working odd jobs and doing crime and befriending and defending other street children.

Did not actually know that she was a bender until she jumped from the inner wall of Ba Sing Se after a major heist after being cornered by the Dai Li. After deciding that she would rather die than be captured and be imprisoned or worse brainwashed by the Dai Li she flipped them off and walked backwards off the wall. On the way down she discovered that she was no longer falling and flew out of the city. (If anyone ever told her that unaided flying was something that only super enlightened and detached Air Nomads accomplished every once in a blue moon she’d give you a weird look and point at the newborn air bison just levitating like its nothing)

Animal guide is a cuttle-dragon (cuttlefish-monitor lizard) named Yami who was found during a successful heist in the upper ring of Ba Sing Se from an exotic animal collector’s home. Yami is calm and calculating, extremely intelligent, and likes to steal treats and shiny trinkets. As a smaller animal, it rides on its master’s shoulder, often while invisible or impersonating a garment

Has definitely heard of the Sisterhood of Serpents what with the whole life of crime thing. Wants in. Is currently a junior member doing errands outside of helping various resistance movements.

After discovering that she can bend, really isn’t that big on it. Would rather use weapons or bare fists in a fight. When she does bend air is her preferred element for its evasiveness. Is a master airbender (Teo’s Kin and Nomad style, soundbending in the Nomad style, self taught lethal airbending techniques, self taught unaided flight), a master level waterbending healer, and a darn good energybender (astral projection, distant sight, chi reading, spiritbending). Most of the other elements she uses for noncombat things.

Does have a private life aka does big revolutionary stuff and Avatar business while wearing a Python mask styled after the Python Spirit thief/assassin character in EK plays.

Does part-time work as a healer for probending teams while staying in Republic City under a nickname. Made some decent coin returning people’s bending to them (and also giving nonbenders who want to bend bending and swapping people’s bending element to something they like better)

Finds and frees Zaheer from his prison and gifts him airbending, knowing that he’ll free his comrades and ignite the chaos that comes before true anarchy (the plan she agreed upon with her revolutionary comrades).

Refers to herself as the Avatar while under her persona, tho she does use her real name.

Just fucking closes the spirit portals b/c why the fuck would you leave those open?

Does not care about how Korra feels about her. Tends to call Korra a cop b/c of her vibes.

Assists the Krew against the Equalists. Assists the SWT in fighting the NWT but opposes Korra’s decisions on the portals. Assists the Red Lotus. Wants the western EK occupied by the United Republic to be returned to the EK.

Has a rather strong moral compass. Does not believe that murder, robbery, or kidnaping among other things is inherently immoral.

Is an old friend of Mako and Bolin which leaves the boys conflicted about a lot of things.

#nix meows #avatar rewrite #avatarverse #aus #long post

[sybilgrimal-kin]

Is that MELISSA BENOIST? No, that’s just SYBIL GRIMALKIN. They were born on 01/10/1988 and are a WITCH. They teach SPELL CASTING at Northknot University. Some say they're PERCEPTIVE and CREATIVE, but I’ve heard others say they're CLUMSY and IMPULSIVE. When you think of HER don’t you think of CRYSTALS, BOOKS and GHOSTS?

Name: Sybil Evanora Grimalkin Nickname(s): Butterfingers Birthday: October 1st, 1988 Age: 35 Zodiac Sign: Libra Sun Gender: Cis-Female Pronouns: She/Her Species: Witch Sexuality: Very Occupation: Spellcasting Professor Faceclaim: Melissa Benoist

  HEADCANONS

No one really knows much about Sybil before she came to live with the Sacred Circle coven. She was orphaned at a very young age. She took care of herself for about 3 months before she was taken in

She’s very smart and very talented but she’s always been quirky and clumsy. She never grew out of it so a lot of people underestimate her abilities

Very dark and twisty on the inside bc she carries a lot of shame around her parents’ death but bubbly and loud on the outside

She has a pet pig, named Pig 🐷 that she adopted at 26 when she started getting baby fever. Pig is 9 now

Everyone knows Sybil; She’s always making herself known but almost always on accident by making a mess or falling. She has a loud personality so you’ll notice her wherever she is

She teaches spellcasting and decorates her home and classroom for special occasions and holidays. She’s known as the klutz who often has spells going wrong on students but it makes the students enjoy her class more

If you can get past her mask of goofiness, there just leaves a gloomy shadow figure who’s there but not really. She feels as though she’s just floating most of the time. It’s the shame she carries with her since childhood

She’s a guys girl (sports, beer and cars). She is into all the girly stuff too but just is bad at it. 

Big foodie. Loves to eat. It makes her happy

Hates that she looks like her dead parents

 APPEARANCE

She’s blonde and very dorky. She sports glasses and straight/wavy loose hair. She’s prone to wearing dark and neutral colors like black, brown, gray, beige etc. She likes to wear dresses and skirts because they’re easier to move in. She’s always carrying an overflowing bag full of miscellaneous items.

AESTHETIC

Trash Panda - Foodie - Loves Outdoors - Bubbly - Bookworm - LOUD - Guy’s girl - Mysterious - Klutz - Fitness - Black or White - Wisdom - Handiness

CONNECTIONS

First Kiss This was the girl's first big love... They were children so they had no clue what real love was but they shared their lunches... they're snacks and crafts. They even shared each other's first kiss. They grew up to be just friends.

Best Friend Sybil lived on the streets for a few months before she befriended a fellow witch. She invited her into her makeshift home and the friend would not stand for it. She was brought back to her coven and basically adopted into the family.

Parental Figure An adult or an older teenager who kind of kept their eye on the young girl as she was growing up. She was raised by the coven and mostly slept at Astra's house but there was someone looking out for her.

Ghost Parents Sybil lost her moms in a fire when she was just a little girl. There’s a lot of mystery surrounding their deaths and Sybil still carries a lot of guilt surrounding their deaths. With the ghosts being in town, she’s hoping they had some unfinished business and she could see them one more time.

BIOGRAPHY

tw: fire, death

And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you...

They all thought she died alongside her parents in the fire. However, the little orphaned six-year-old spent thirteen weeks fending for herself in the streets. Sybil made herself a home in an abandoned outhouse in the woods. She was terrified to go home... If anyone found out the truth about that terrible night, she’d be as good as dead anyway. She blamed herself for the fire and felt as though she deserved to be punished. Things were going well for her in isolation until she came across another young witch playing in the woods.

She bonded quickly with the young witch. One day, Sybil invited her back into her home and let her in on her secret. She told her how she was working on a fire spell when the house caught flames. The older witch quickly put two and two together realizing that Sybil’s family was a part of her coven and that the younger witch was supposedly dead. She brought her back to the coven after vowing to never tell her secret.

Because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places.

The coven tried to give her the best experience of a somewhat normal childhood. She was cared for; had a lot of parental figures. She was taught about the world and trained to be a witch. Sybil became extremely outgoing and carefree while also struggling with really low self-worth issues. She still carried a lot of guilt and shame over her parents’ death although she never showed it nor talked about it. Most people knew Sybil as bubbly, loud, and sweet.

Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.

They knew things were a little off with the little girl because she obsessed over fires. She painted them, perfected how to cast them, and manipulated them to her will. She never used it for harm and people looked past it; associating it with her trauma. Other than that, things for Sybil were pretty regular. She lived life like the rest of the children around her. She rarely thought about her parents but when she did she handled it better each time.

Sybil continued on to become a professor at Northknot University where she teaches Spellcasting. She’s notorious for decorating her room for holidays and the occasional, accidental spell gone wrong. Her classroom is very easy to find. It has an obnoxious, talking skull hanging on the door. You can almost always find her eating or working on a new spell almost always with fire.

#nktintro #one thousand years later #task #tw: fire #tw: death #wc #wanted #wanted connection #wanted connections

[avesagittarius]

lost mal-evolence // 9

WORD COUNT //  1790

an ! kinda short, but I felt like cutting it there was better, feedback is always a good idea !!!

summary ! The youngest of the Maximoff siblings had lived through heartbreak twice now. First her parent’s death and then her older sibling’s abandonment. She did not know what she had done wrong, only that she searched for them for 3 years before HYDRA recruited her. She joined them when she learnt Pietro and Wanda had came here after leaving her. Now 6 years after their departure, she was in the process of becoming HYDRA’s best asset ever.

part one    part dos      part tres      part quatro      part cinco     part seis    

part siete   part ocho

________________________________________________________________

Minutes before landing.

As if the tension had vanished, The Avengers were all gathering around, ready to land on Ukrainian soil.

“There’s a clearing not far from the border, we’ll land there, and Tony, Sam and Pietro will scout the area. No mistakes allowed okay. You see her, or a Hydra agent, you report back to the team before doing anything.”

The instructions were clear, everyone knew what their job was and their role on this mission. But it felt reassuring for the most part to hear them being said one last time before arriving. Comforting glances meeting stressed stares, the jet would be landing in seconds now.

“guys, we’ve got a problem” Bruce was frowning when he turned towards the team.

They all tried to approach him at the same time, but all of them not fitting in the cockpit, they let Tony and Steve go through, knowing they were leading the mission.

“What’s happening Bruce?” Tony’s usually casual tone was nothing but down to business and it meant naught except for the fact that he was probably freaking out just as much as the others right now.

“There’s lots of movement coming from the border and something’s down in the middle of the clearing.”

The look Steve and Tony exchanged did nothing to help Bruce come down to a decision. They knew what the movement could mean, and it augured nothing good. As for the thing it the middle of the clearing, the scan showed it was still, unmoving, it could be a frightened animal or just a glitch.

“We have to land, Bruce land the quinjet” That was Pietro talking, but his determination was only followed by agreeing hums. Everyone on the team was ready for whatever they would encounter once they had touched down, at least if they landed now, they would just get it over with.

“Pietro-” Steve didn’t have time to reason with him that Bucky interrupted him.

“No time to argue, we could already be down there” The serious look in his friend’s eyes was enough to convince him, he knew there was nothing more he could do to prepare his friends for what could possibly happen once they landed.

He nodded towards Bruce who immediately took matters in hands and started the quinjet’s descent.

  Mal had always had trouble at the beginning to control her new-found abilities, she could never fully understand just how it all worked. But after years of training, she now mastered the art of hiding her powers away, she was so hell-bent on keeping them from everyone around her even when she was at the facility and everyone knew what was running through her veins, she never was one to make a show of her powers.

She liked them, they made her feel powerful and important and that kind of feeling could never be replaced by anything else. Although Mal loved being special amongst the ordinary people, she was almost if not all self-doubt.

That doubt had been eating her alive her whole life, because the feeling of power that came after her experiment did nothing to erase the disappointment and questions she had always had.

So, she kept her powers to herself because they were hers, and if she couldn’t have anything else, not even friends or a loving family, at least she had them. They were always there, buzzing at the back of her head or flowing in her veins. They were always there for her, and she intended to keep it that way. They were hers, and she didn’t want the last thing she had to be taken from her.

But there were times, like this one, when those powers couldn’t be restrained. They asked, no, they didn’t ask they just made themselves known and pushed and tugged at Mal’s restrains, pushed and pushed until she couldn’t handle all the back and forth and had to let them out.

Strangely enough those times almost never happened at the facility, she assumed that it was because she had to use them every day, but now with almost three weeks on the run, three weeks without ever using them. She could just feel them take over her body, she knew she was losing control and fast, unfortunately for the young girl, when it all came rushing down, she wouldn’t be able to stop them.

But maybe for the first time ever, she didn’t want to stop them. Maybe they all deserved to feel her wrath, Hydra had made her this way and she was tired of all the control, of all the pain and manipulation. She had been naïve and weak but now that was all over, she knew now, that the world was cruel and offered no relief for people like Mal.

She might not have been able to understand just how much damage she could do, nor did she know the extent of her powers, but she was fully aware of the fight that was about to happen.

The jet had landed, she didn’t seem to recognize Hydra’s logo or colors or anything that had to do with their organization but if it wasn’t them who could it have been. After all, right now, it didn’t matter, those people hadn’t landed in the exact clearing she was in all while pursued by agents just to bring her to safety. She could only count on herself and those people would suffer the same fate the agents would.

Even though she was aware that the moment the agents arrived she would be surrounded, not an ounce a fear could be felt, all that was radiating from her body was power.

The gates opened and her vision immediately focused on the group of people walking down the aircraft. At first, it felt like they hadn’t even noticed her presence, which funnily enough made Mal chuckle because she could have hit them by surprise. But this wasn’t the way she wanted to do this, she wanted them to see what she could do. Not hide behind her mentor this time.

Once they realized that it was indeed a person standing in the middle of the cold and wild clearing, it seemed they stilled. All of them.

As if trying not to scare her away, one of them took two steps forward and was about to talk when a first wave of agents was heard running and shouting from the other side of the clearing.

The buzzing in her veins intensifies at the notion of danger, it sizzled right under her skin and she was trying so hard to keep it there.

Upon seeing the twenty or so guards which were previously guarding the border run towards her, Mal’s resolve dissolved into nothing. Their faces all contorted in anger they sure didn’t expect when Mal started advancing towards them.

The determination in her pace and her aura dominating their fake masculinity, they still didn’t stop because after all, what could a 16-year-old possibly do to them. They should have been more careful.

The shouts of the individuals behind her were unheard and she stopped dead in her tracks, her hands extended towards the dark night sky, The Avengers wished they could have been ready for this.

Unleashing her power into the air felt liberating, the electricity shooting up in the sky in violet-like lighting strikes, just to shoot back down straight onto the group of agents. Her arms tingling from the sensation, it’s like she couldn’t get enough of it, it felt addicting to her. Her power had been locked up for too long in her flesh prison, to let it roam free and wreak havoc was a sight she wanted to imprint in her mind.

Seeing as some of them had been only grazed by the shocks and only a few of them were laying still on the floor, she wasn’t satisfied. When would they learn the lesson, she hadn’t left all those men at the facility because she thought it would be pretty, it was a warning for them not to come find her.

Her arms descending towards the men, an electric flow coming from deep within her crushed every man’s spine. Frying their brains, they fell like flies leaving the snow almost untouched.

The rage and power still clouding her vision and judgment, she turned around ready to show the weird costume-y guys what was waiting for them.

But she surely didn’t expect them to be standing so close to her, all with mouth agape. She thought she could take advantage of the situation when a voice stopped her.

“Amalya…” Wanda’s voice was pure hurt, seeing her little sister kill those men with little to no regret just felt like a horrifying scene for her.

Mal turned to look at the woman and her knees almost gave out from under her when she recognized the two people looking straight at her.

Here they were her so-called brother and sister. Here they were, still looking almost like the last time she had seen them except a bit older. Her eyes watered but she refused to let the tears fall, they didn’t deserve another one of them. She had spent so many nights and days crying for them.

“It’s us Amalya” Pietro’s heart hurt, the only rational thought for him would be to run and hold her for god knows how long, but the things she had just done prevented him from doing so. She probably was scared right now and even if they were family it had been a while since they had seen each other.

Mal felt anything but afraid.

Mal recognized them, but she didn’t know who they were anymore. Who leaves their 10-year-old sister to fend for herself in a poor and corrupted country? The tears were long gone now, the electricity buzzing once more, but this time it was even stronger.

The whole team could feel it in the air, hair going up because of static electricity, Mal’s eyes shining purple, a mist started enveloping her. She felt intimidating. The whole lot of them, they almost wanted to take a step back, the atmosphere way too tense to breathe properly, they all wondered how a teenager could express such dominance.

“Please come with us honey, we’ve missed you” Wanda didn’t have time to utter her words that they went straight to Mal’s core, just like fuel she erupted, electricity crackling all around her, lightning coming from all around her.

She looked at them dead in the eyes, her own filled with nothing, her stare was blank and that’s what hurt the twins the most.

“It’s Mal now” Her cold demeanor matched her tone, not wasting a second more she started the fight back up.

________________________________________________________________

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[veridium]

sweet talk 101

PHEW. OKAY. 

Part ten? HOLY SHIT? We are in part 10 of this thing. I am so delighted. So, here, have some fluff with a light touch of melodrama (as is my specialty). @bitchesofostwick and I love torturing our kids with sweetness followed by sourness, apparently. 

ON THIS EPISODE: Cass and Liv are doing the whole friendship.com thing, though Liv can’t help but still wonder what her new pal’s plans are. One thing she knows for sure is that all her assumptions are quickly flying out the window. A text from her Mom reminds her of the fragility of her privacy and her expectations. Meanwhile, sweet bb Ellinor prepares for a totally casual and not at all scintillating project meeting with her blonde, handsome partner. WHAT COULD GO WRONG?

Episode title brought to you by my falling back down the rabbit hole of Cute is What We Aim For’s music, especially this particular song. 

part 1 // part 2 // part 3 // part 4 // part 5 // part 6 // part 7 // part 8 // part 9 

-- 

A week after Ellinor and Cullen are assigned their project --

2:57pm. Dammit, it’s 2:57pm. Call it already, Professor Lucas.

“Alright, that will be all.”

That is all she hears before her mind goes exclusively to packing up her lecture notebook, pencil bag, and canteen into her backpack. It’s get the hell out of dodge time. Up out of her seat and out the door as the Professor warns about the midterm study sessions coming up. Yes, yes, fine, she’ll ace the practice exam as usual. That doesn’t matter.

It’s Tuesday, and she’s got plans.

Jogging down the steps in her calf-high boots, she searches through the crowds of foot traffic and sees the pixie-cut she’s been waiting to see, against a lamp post. Blue skinny jeans and a t-shirt underneath a leather fitted jacket. A resting bitch face that turns to cordial stoicism, and melts her into smiling. Olivia has a type and she can’t even deny it anymore: women who look like they’d be just as ready to step on you as make you laugh.

“Hey!” she says as she walks up, a perk in her step that makes her ponytail bounce.

Cassandra grins and stands tall, holding her phone. “Hey!”

“You said wear pants.”

“That I did.”

Olivia eyes her, fending off the urge to giggle nervously like a beguiled school girl. “Do I get to find out why? I don’t usually cater to people’s whims, case you couldn’t tell.”

Cassandra’s grin grows. “Really? Last I checked, I am now 5-0 with requests on your time and company.”

OH. Ohoho. OHO. Olivia’s hands go balmy, a visceral response to being hung out to dry with just a simple sentence. She’s right, though. After their meet up at the Church, texting had recommenced at their expedient frequency. That had led to a redemption coffee outing on the following Wednesday, where Olivia sat down in place long enough to actually finish her chai. That would have been bad enough, if not for the wandering into a used bookstore afterward, where Olivia couldn’t resist mock reading from old social science journals to really drive their asinine, outdated theories home. That was the first time she heard Cassandra laugh. Honest to goodness laugh. It made her break character.

But ego does not pay any mind to sentimentality in the moment of injury.

She swats Cassandra on the back of her upper arm before folding hers against her tightened chest. “You got a punch card going or something, asshole?” 

Cassandra chuckles low. A cocky chuckle. The confidence looks good on her, when it overpowers her steady and thoughtful exterior. “Come on, I only got a few minutes loaded on the parking meter.”

She’s unceremonious but charming as they walk down the sidewalk bordering front quad. It had been an odd text to wake up to, a request that she wear close-fitting shirt and pants, and bring something to tie back her hair. It reminds her of when adults would chide her and her friends in high school for letting people tell them how to dress. No one was allowed to do that! Unless, of course, they were your parents, your elders, the federal government…

A few minutes walk to a back parking lot, and they come to the front line of spots. Just down the line, passed the handicap spots, there’s a shiny black and purple bike cocked to the side, and two helmets resting on the seat.

She stops in her tracks. Cassandra walks a few feet ahead, before she turns and faces her.

“No fucking way,” Olivia’s eyes go wide, mouth dropping open. “You’re shitting me.”

“Yes, because I definitely am a prankster,” Cassandra shakes her head. “Come on, you said you spend your weekends on bikes. Or was that you, shitting me?”

Olivia is getting sick of this woman being perfect. It’s nauseating, almost -- and by that, she means increasingly irresistible and that is becoming a problem. In all actuality it would make sense; kids who grew up in families like the Pentaghasts rarely had an interest that wasn’t generously indulged just because they could afford to do so. She probably had a inkling to ride a bike when she was nine, and they groomed her all the way up to being a licensed rider who competed in tournaments or something berserk like that. Just casual. 

She slings her backpack straps onto both shoulders. “Well, shit.”

“What?” Cassandra asks as they resume walking.

“Nothing, I am just rarely rendered speechless.”

“Now that, I believe,” she smiles, a skip in her step as she bounces off the sidewalk onto the asphalt, grabbing both helmets and handing one to her. “Be honest, have you ridden on a bike before?”

Oh, sweetheart. Olivia laughs and takes the helmet, pulling her hair ponytail down to rest at the nape of her neck. “No, never. Absolutely not. I am a good girl.”

Cassandra sits up, back straight as she zips up the jacket she’s wearing. Now it makes sense why it reminds her of a moto jacket in a magazine. “I’m serious, Liv. Speak now or forever hold your peace.”

“Ugh, I have, many times in fact.” Olivia sticks her tongue out before slipping her head into the helmet. It’s a bit snug, but that’s not a bad thing when it comes to helmets. “Just sit still and look pretty while I do my backflips on the freeway.”

“And people say I am relentless.” Cassandra smirks before putting her helmet on and standing up, swinging a leg onto the front seat. Olivia is way too besotted by the simple act of her straddling a bike for it to be healthy. A 20-something’s blood pressure is not supposed to spike like that. “Well, let’s go then.”

Olivia’s heart races. It’s a simple request. She’s done it more than a dozen times. Get on the bike, hold the person by the sides of their waist, and enjoy the ride. Holding her breath, she approaches and does as Cassandra did, bringing a leg over -- God, the bike is tall -- and perches herself on the back seat.

Cassandra takes hold of her steering, and Olivia takes hold of her. Leaving room for Jesus, to be sure. Out the corner of her eye she spots a small group of onlooking people outside the doors to the building in front of the lot. They look like a bunch of east coast preps lost on their way to the nearest Hollister, and their faces are anything but pleased. One girl with french braids and a binder to her chest, brow furrowing. A guy, hands on his hips, wearing a knit Ralph Lauren-looking sweater even though it’s a 70 degrees out at least. A couple others, but it’s those two faces that stink the most. 

What’s good, bro? Got milk with fat in your latte this morning, Chadworth? she sneers in her head. Her temper has two gears: territorial pomeranian, and pomeranian gone off the rails. 

Cassandra kicks up the stand and revs the engine. “Ready?” she yells over her shoulder.

Olivia’s hands press harder against her waist, and she refocuses. “Negative, Ghost Rider, the pattern is full.” She then leans against her back, as close as her mouth can get to her ear. “Hell yeah I am.”

They reverse and then blow the popsicle stand. Cassandra rides well, and she doesn’t speed or try things. Corners are careful, speed limits respected. When they merge onto the freeway Olivia leans against her straight rather than do what she likes to do -- tricks like tossing her arms into the air, arching back, feeling the adrenaline race in her veins. Instead, she holds on, and takes in the scene racing on either side of them. No backflips.

Eventually they get off several exits down and pull into uptown where the pho shop is. It’s small, and tucked away a bit, but it’s a favorite among “the students” as the locals would say. They find a table by the window, small and built for two, and go ham on two bowls of soup.

“Oh yeah, toss those babies in,” Olivia teases, sliding her bowl across so Cassandra can drop in the peppers she doesn’t want. “Ah, yes, glorious. Thank you.”

Cassandra grins, throwing in the last piece and then grabbing for more bean sprouts. “Your table manners are compelling.”

“Good, it took me five years of debutante training to get me to stop hanging off the chandeliers.”

“Only five?”

“Five...and a half,” she wags her finger in the air, her other hand stirring her noodles around. Cassandra is spooning some broth to her lips, not a single sound of slurping or crass inhaling. It’s textbook table etiquette.

“So, how was your day?” she asks after she swallows.

“Good. Class was good...a lecture on the Peloponnesian war. I should have known better than take an Antiquated history class without bothering with the prereq.”

“What, is it difficult?”

“Not...exactly,” Liv shrugs, tossing a piece of beef into her mouth. “It’s just involved. Like, everyone there wants to be the next great archeologist or history authority. I just want to know how we got this point in our society, get an A, and move on.”

Cassandra wipes the side of her lip with her napkin, before placing it to the table and picking up another bundle of noodles between her chopsticks. “I can understand that. Some people really get bizarre in those classes. I once got into it with a guy who insisted on his hair-brained reddit factoids being true even though they stipulated that Stalin was like, this nice guy who loved kids and lattes.”

“Agh! What the fuck?”

“I know. I nearly asked him to throw hands on the quad afterward. Tell him where he could put his soviet apologia. I hate it when I’m made to feel like reduced to capitalist swine just for telling Craig whoever-the-hell that all his heroes died despotic cowards, and it’s not an ‘ironic’ fascination if he has a giant U.S.S.R flag hanging in his dorm room.”

Olivia snorts as she’s mid-gulp of broth, her hand going to her mouth and cupping against her lips and wet nose. She turns away briefly to wipe off her mess, while Cassandra looks on with a smile. A habitual concern is smearing her lipstick, but as she’s pressing, she remembers she didn't put on any that morning. In fact, she hardly bothered with anything more than concealer and eyeliner. She could rub her face in a thick towel, and it would be fine.

“I hope that was meant to be a laugh. You okay?” she comments, taking in another mouthful of noodles.

“You know,” Olivia remarks as she presses her napkin to her face, hopefully not smearing her contour or highlight, “you comment a lot on my quirks. You got a problem, Pentaghast?”

“Not at all, Sinclair. Why would I?” she tilts her chin, her hand stilling.

“Uh, I don’t know. You bothered, or whatever.” Maybe you’re trying to tell me to stop doing it by commenting, like my parents do. Darling, you’re mouth breathing. Sweetie, you talk when you can’t improve the silence.

“Nah,” Cassandra chews small, “Just teasing. If anything, your concern should be that I find you too fascinating to be real.”

Butterflies. She’s been causing them more lately ever since they agreed to this ‘friendship.’ Because that was totally what was supposed to happen when you’re good pals.

“Hm,” Olivia nods, preparing another bite in her bowl. “I’ll take that answer.”

“Lofty affirmation.”

“Yep.”

They settle into eating for a minute or two. Her phone had sat untouched on the corner of the table, on silent, too. Texts and calls don’t matter in the moment. It’s her getaway for more reasons than she’d like to admit.

“Speaking of bothered. Cullen’s still trying to pretend he doesn’t care that Ellinor wants to be friends. There’s no living with him,” Cassandra says, breaking the contented silence. “It’s been, what, a week since they got that group project assignment?”

“Ugh, yeah,” Olivia watches her broth as she stirs around the floating veggies. “Ellinor won’t stop not talking about it. But they’re finally meeting up soon, right? They have to. It’s like, the rule of group projects.”

“...Does she like him?”

“Does he like her?”

Their eyes meet, and smiles grow on both their faces. Olivia laughs to off-set her nerves from it. “Shit, obvious answers are obvious.” 

She shakes some more of the hoisin sauce into her bowl, before tossing it up in the air towards Cassandra’s side. Cassandra, in her athletic prowess, catches it without so much as looking up.

“You’re keeping me on my toes. What’s next, another ‘trust’ fall?”

Olivia shakes her head mockingly and upturns her nose. “The lady doth protest too much, methinks.”

“You got the wrong girl if you’re looking for lack of protestation,” Cassandra counters, mixing.

“Maybe you’d find better company with those people watching us get on your bike. They looked full of ideas to protest. Women’s reproductive choice, suffrage, poor people having rights…”

“You mean Daniel and everyone?”

Great. Of course, she knows them. “...Uh, sure?”

“Hah,” Cassandra shakes her head. “They’re opinionated, alright. Just not very good, or original, at it. They go to Church. Our families know each other. All fun friends at the ski lodge and mission trips,” she mocks, eyes rolling a bit.

Church, church, church. It all went back to Church. That was perhaps the most religious thought she had ever had on her own volition.

“So, I take it they’re not very cool?”

“That’s one way of putting it. Insufferable is another.”

“Does that mean they don’t like you being around me?”

Cassandra holds her noodles mid-air hanging on the chopsticks as she pauses to give her a look. “Liv, they dislike a lot of things.”

“Yeah, but, they were giving me shitty glares of death in the parking lot. And I’m not a thing.”

“I didn’t say you where. I just meant that--”

“It’d make sense, I mean...promiscuous witch straddling your bike with her blasphemous thighs, you riding off on the highway to hell,” she starts to choke on her laugh, unable to keep a straight face.

Cassandra smiles smartly. There’s a glimmer in her eye that wasn’t there before. “I try not to worry what other people think. It gets ridiculous after a while, if you let it under your skin. My family brings enough attention to my life as it is. I don’t need to treat everything like tabloid fodder in my free time. But if I did, I’d want it to be written using your flare for vivid imagery.”

She’s eloquent, even when she’s hanging out with no audience. A bit awkward on the delivery at times, but sincere. It’s adorable.

“Right,” Olivia crinkles her nose, “heh, you’re right. I shouldn’t have picked. It’s pointless. I am who I am, anyways.”

“Yes, you are.” She looks up and sees Cassandra admiring her with that quiet, confident stare. A straight mouth, but softened eyes. It’s all in the eyes.

They finish more than an hour later, way passed the amount of time it objectively takes to down a small order of pho. They also take their time walking back to her bike. It’s a partly cloudy day, but warm -- worth the dallying. Olivia will probably get sunburnt, but there’s no reason to care. She does that thing where she pretends she’s walking on a tightrope, and even hops on a couple side-by-side benches to do so. Cassandra keeps to herself, but matches her pace at every slow-down and quickening of steps.

Then, she does one of those things that surprises Olivia just as she thinks she has the situation settled: as she approaches the end of the last bench, Cassandra offers her hand to her. She stops and stares at it, probably longer than she should if the goal is to play it all cool and nonchalant. 

Her eyes flicker to Cassandra’s. She’s looking at her with civil kindness, impossible to read. Olivia tucks her chin a bit, grins, and glides her palm ever-so-quickly against hers. She hops down and feels the bracing strength in her handhold -- it was not needed, but it was something else. Something humbling. With her feet back on the ground, she is the first to remove her hand, so that she doesn’t have to survive the sensation of Cassandra being the first to break away. 

Eventually it’s back on the bike and to campus where they belong. On the way, Olivia leans against her back, inch for inch, but it’s no big deal. Jesus still has room, somewhere, right? At one point, though, when they are rounding onto a neighborhood street -- one she recognizes as being a couple blocks from Rylen’s house of horrors -- she lets her hand go out to the side, fingers spindling through the air. Cassandra looks over, but due to the helmet, she can’t tell whether she’s mad or not. She doesn’t say anything, and Cassandra is the kind of person to say something -- so she takes it as approval.

When they pull into the fire lane behind her dorm and stop, Olivia would rather stick a hair pin in her eye and dismount. But, she makes it look easy as best she can, hopping down and sliding the helmet off her head. She hands it back to her while shaking her hair loose. Cassandra remains on her seat, but sits up. It gives Olivia leave to stand close, for the sake of the engine noise.

“Thanks for the ride. It was a perfect first bike trip,” she teases, thumbs hooking onto her backpack straps.

“No problem,” Cassandra projects through the rim of her helmet.

Olivia rolls her lip. “I’ll...uh, I’ll text you.”

“Please do.”

Dammit with that poker face. What gives? What’s in it for her? What’s got her so smug?

“Okay, well…” she rocks her weight between her toes and her heels, “get home safe!”

“I will. Have a good night, Olivia.”

This is where she is supposed to walk away. Again. She nods and turns for the door to the ground floor. Although, Cassandra does not turn tail and leave until Olivia is fully inside, safe and sound -- as if that were a concern to have, logically.

Oh, she can do that, but she can’t push be back on the bike seat and...

Once inside, she exhales her pent up breath and shoulders the wall, groaning. Everything is great, but yields no decisive result. Cassandra makes being straight look like a corkscrew roller-coaster ride, and feel like it, too. Olivia is signing up for every go-around she can, only to be dropped off and told to collect her bag and loose jewelry from the cubby hole.

Her thoughts go quiet as she gets up the stairs, and onto her and Ellinor’s floor. And who does she meet coming her way but the grunge queen herself, who’s face flushes in the instant they see each other. Ellinor is dressed for public, and carrying her bag. Her book bag. It’s gotta be no later than 5pm. She tries to pivot and go the other way, but Olivia is hep to her antics.

“No no, no you don’t missy!” she calls after her, walking faster to catch up, “get back here!”

“I don’t...I cant...I can’t hear you!” Ellinor mouths while she stuffs her other headphone back in her ear.

“Ellinor Trevelyan!”

She freezes, shoulders bunch against her ears.

“That’s right. Turn around and meet your maker. Where are you going at this temperate evening hour?”

“Uh…” Ellinor side-steps, “I got...homework…”

“What kind of homework? Would that be...Lit homework?”

“No!”

Olivia stops in front of her, and with a swift fist she punches her best friend’s bookbag. It feels like a sack of cinderblocks. “Right. That’s Lit class heaviness. Try again.”

Ellinor sucks on her cheek, folding her arms that are wrapped in hoodie sleeves. “I’ve got Lit homework. Sue me.”

“Oh, you bet your ass you do. A project’s worth. You going to meet with someone?”

“Maybe. I got friends, you know.”

Olivia narrows her eyes. “Bullshit. Who?”

“No one in the vicinity…”

“Hah! You’re meeting up with him! Fucking finally!”

Ellinor slumps and bends her knees, tossing her head back. “Shit, yes okay, fine. I am. We have a meet-up. I’m doing what I’m supposed to. Got it? Had your fun?”

Olivia dances from foot to foot, smiling and giggling with triumph. “Ohoho, don’t stay out too late, child. Curfew it at 9:30pm! Make good choices! Don’t let him get all in your petticoats!”

Ellinor looks ready to astral project out of this dimension and call it a day. But, as Olivia passes her and backwards steps so that she can continue mocking her with giggles and singing words, she surprisingly stays grounded in this plane of existence.

“Stu-dy bud-dies, stu-dy bud-dies, stu-dy bud-dies!” Olivia chants, scooting her boots back towards her door down the hall.

“Yeah, right! Better than noodle buddies! Get enough slurping?!” Ellinor barks back.

Olivia blushes and bites her lip, before turning her but toward her and perking it up. “Never enough!”

“Ugh, son of a--”

“Buh-bye, friend! Have fun! Kiss kiss fall in love!”

Ellinor makes her escape, drawing the line at old anime haunts of their freshman year depression pit. That leaves Olivia at her door, keys rustling in her backpack side pocket. She gets out her phone and makes quick for her messages, typing in Cassandra’s name.

-- I think Ellinor is coming over to your place for their project. Look alive and be prepared to evacuate the premises if necessary, lol. 

Olivia shoves her key in her lock and feels another buzzing sensation. Thinking -- hoping -- it’s Cassandra, she looks quick.  

To her disappointment, it’s Mom:

-- Do not forget the gala coming up! You HAVE to come home before! Mom-daughter time at the spa, LOL! Love ya! XO

Right. God dammit. She lets her arms fall and rocks her forehead into her door, groaning with the bane of a thousand tempers. Right around midterms, no less. Cassandra was right -- it was fatiguing to care about what other people thought. But it was different to overcome that when your entire life was groomed for social climbing, instead of you being born already at the top like she had. It’s easier not to care when you’re looking down at all your critics.

But, Mommy-Daughter spa time! ‘LOL’ was not the sentiment she would have used to describe it. “Fate worse than death she must relive for all time” -- now that, that was an apt descriptor. She gets in through her door, drops her stuff on her desk, and hops into the shower soon after. Once that’s done and she returns wrapped in a towel, her thoughts have spun once or twice around the planet’s equator. Turning the lamp on as its getting dark outside, she unplugs her phone from the charger by her desk, and pulls up Ellinor’s name in her texts.

-- My Mom isn’t dropping the museum trustee gala nightmare she wants to drag me to. I want to walk the plank. Hope your not-study date is going well! Tell Cullen hey for me, and be niceee!!!! 

She’ll probably invite Ellinor to come along so that her Mom doesn’t get to push her onto the arm of one of her girlfriends’ sons, or even worse, one of Olivia’s beefcake cousins. It’s more than annoying, it’s excruciating, and she hates that it is. 

Collapsing back on her bed, she exhales with the daydream of Cassandra by the lamp post wearing that jacket. She wants it all to herself, safe and sound. Fuck.

#fic update #adventures of ellinor and olivia #ellinor trevelyan #modern thedas au #college au #olivia sinclair #modern!olivia #WHOOO THE CHEMISTRY IN THIS CHILI'S TONIGHT

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY Recaps: Vol. 5 "True Colors"

This is a re-posting from October 4th, 2018 in an effort to get all my recaps fully on tumblr. Thanks!

Guess who’s back, back again

Clyde is back, tell a friend

How long will my focus and work ethic last? Who knows, but with Volume 6 on the horizon and a fantastic new poster out, I’m feeling like it’s time to dive back into RWBY Recaps. Never too late to guiltily dust off an old project, right?

Right.

We’re back in Volume 5. Yes, I did a bit of Volume 1—extreme illusions of grandeur and productivity there—but we should really round out 5 before 6 comes knocking on the 27th. I’ve got almost a month. Let’s see how well I do, starting with “True Colors.”

We open on an image of Qrow and Ozpin together, notably Ozpin given the prim posture and ever-present coffee mug. Qrow makes the comment that things “aren’t looking good” and really? No shit, bird boy. We’ve gone from “Oh no, Ruby is having trouble becoming a leader!” to “Oh no… Weiss is trying to overcome a racist upbringing…?” and are now firmly in the territory of “OH NO a bunch of our faves are dead and Ozpin is forced to possess a child??” Things haven’t looked good for a while.

Ozpin is ever the optimist though. He points out that yeah, things are bad, but they could also be worse. “Humanity is a resilient force” he says, which oddly enough, sounds a lot like the kind of thing someone not a part of Humanity would say. Jury’s still out on whether Oz was the lowly farmer unfairly cursed by the gods, or a god himself justly punished for some sort of hubris… or something else entirely. It just strikes me as significant that he often distances himself from others in not just actions but speech as well. Could be a glimpse into his true nature, aka someone literally not human. Could also just be the result of spending thousands of years reincarnating while everyone else around you suffers and dies. That’ll make anyone feel subhuman…

Qrow challenges Oz’s happy-go-lucky attitude, reminding us that a huge number of pro huntsmen have been murdered and Salem couldn’t have achieved that on her own. She’s had help—and plenty of it. But Ozpin stands firm that it “doesn’t take a great number of people to cause harm” and there are “far more people in this world willing to prevent it.”

Enter our protagonist.

Subtle!

Ruby is adorable, as always, hesitantly approaching the two of them and awkwardly accepting the invitation to chat. It’s a striking difference in how she acts when it’s just her and Qrow, which is expected. Ozpin remains a much more distant authority figure and now he’s inhabiting the body of a boy her own age. I’d be a little unsure about how to act around him too.

Ruby finally asks what we’ve been worried about since the beginning of this Volume: if Cinder defeated Oz then does that mean Salem now has the Beacon relic? Luckily, no. Oz says he made finding the Beacon relic “a bit more challenging than at the other schools.” So Ruby asks the second question that’s been on our minds…

Ozpin: “No, my cane is not a relic.”

Ruby: “I have no more questions :)”

Okay now wait. I'm calling bullshit lol. That cane is 100% a relic. I mean could I be wrong? Absolutely. But it’s way more fun to be confident so I’m calling Ozpin out on this. For a number of reasons:

1. He’s absolutely the kind of guy to do what no one else expects. “The cane is so obvious!” Yeah, which means everyone will be looking for the relic elsewhere, hidden away like the Haven relic. Who the hell would have it out in the open? Ozpin. He would. Expect the unexpected.

2. He’s alsothe kind of guy who might lie to someone about it. Ozpin has been playing this game a long time and he’s not above a few smiles and carefully placed words if he thinks it’ll keep things on track. The Haven relic is the one currently in danger—no reason to announce the Beacon relic’s location and shift the team’s focus just because a former student asks him for the truth. It’s too dangerous and Ozpin is very adept at, as he says, playing things close to the chest. And I don’t blame him. That’s how you keep humanity alive.

3. The scene doesn’t show us Qrow at all who is a lot less adept at lying, to say nothing of the fact that—if he knows about the relic—he wouldn’t feel good lying specifically to Ruby.

4. Ozpin’s previous comment about how this relic is a “bit more challenging” seems significant. That is, why ONLY make the Beacon relic so difficult to find? All the relics are important so why not give them all the same precautions? Well, the answer is simple if your precaution is something you can only do for one of them: keep the relic with you.

5. Qrow, arguably Ozpin’s closest friend (husband-friend), was entrusted with getting the cane back to him and it’s used as the introduction between Oscar and Qrow. Seems like a pretty damn important object.

6. We’ve seen this cane fend off crazy powerful attacks and it never takes any damage. Granted, all the weapons in RWBY are pretty hearty, but Ozpin’s cane seems particularly indestructible. Almost like there’s something similar to magic surrounding it.

7. We’ve still got those gears. That cane transforms into something…

8. The fact that Ozpin immediately homes in on Ruby’s question, quickly counters it, and then tells her to leave (go gather the others). He’s in charge of the conversation here.

9. The fact that the scene suddenly turns light-hearted and humorous. We’re meant to shrug this moment off and not think too hard about it. Well, too late now.

Granted, Oz has a good explanation here. He states firmly that the cane is indeed precious, though only to him, and that it still “has a few tricks up its sleeve.” Nothing he says counters what we already know, yet it doesn’t reveal any of his cane’s secrets either. We’re still in the dark. So until we’re not I remain suspicious about his claim that it’s totally definitely absolutely not a relic.

(The headmaster doth protest too much.)  

(Edit Feb. 2019: I was so wrong, folks!!) 

But we’re moving on. Qrow gets a call from Lionheart asking them to meet up with him to discuss potentially going on the offensive against the bandits. Ruby is ecstatic and runs off. Ozpin? Not so much. He and Qrow both comment on how strange it is that Lionheart has suddenly changed his tune and the addition of some creepy music all but beats us over the head with, “It’s a trap!!” This time when Qrow says that things aren’t looking good Ozpin’s only response is, “I know.” So much for the pep talk.

We cut to Lionheart himself, having just finished up that call, and as we pull back who should we find but Raven. She makes blunt what we already know, “I never expected that you would be the one with the guts to betray Oz” while we get a nice crane shot so that we can see Raven circling him, standing while he’s seated—a predator stalking prey.

Though of course it’s not actually courage driving their actions here. It’s cowardice. At least Lionheart is willing to admit it. He says straight out that he’s terrified of Salem and doesn’t think anyone can beat her, so why not join the winning side? Raven, meanwhile, is still firmly in denial. “I’m not scared,” she says. “I’m smart.” Please, girl. You’ve spent your whole life running and you don’t know how to stop now. “Man up,” Raven continues (god that’s a terrible phrase). “You did what you needed to do to survive. There’s no shame in that,” which is where we see the divide between their morals and everyone else surrounding Team RWBY. They’re scared, but they fight despite their fear because they know it’s necessary to help both others and themselves. Raven is only out for herself and her selfish actions hurt family (Qrow), children (Yang), friends (her tribe), and allies (Ozpin) in the process.

“Who are you trying to convince?” Lionheart asks her. It's great seeing a villain who knows exactly where the line is even as they can’t help but cross it. RIP the complex ones.

We move back to Menagerie where Ilia and the others are still leading the attack on Blake’s family. Kali if BAMF here, snatching up a tray as both defense and weapon when her gun runs out of ammo. We get to see her clocking Yuma before we catch up with Blake and Ilia—and I enjoy the contrast in colors between these two scenes, from full blown battle (cold) to friends-turned-enemies (warm):

Ilia spouts the same arguments as Raven: she doesn’t have a choice about her actions. Violence is the only way to survive. Despite the rhetoric Blake is willing to let her go, but Ilia has other plans. The fight, while not spectacular, does showcase the clear parallels between them—both in their arguments and the use of long/short range weaponry. When asked why she doesn’t leave Blake responds that she runs away too much. Beyond the obvious theme from our title—everyone showing their “True Colors”—the focus of this episode is quite obviously who’s willing to fight for others and who’s only out for themselves; who’s able to distinguish between when a literal fight is necessary and when another avenue can be taken. We see time and time again that Team RWBY is leagues ahead of others in terms of that kind of maturity.

From a world building perspective I appreciate Ilia’s use of her camouflaging skills. It’s rare that we see the Faunus actually using their animal abilities (beyond Sun swinging around on his tail) and that’s definitely a useful one in battle… though it's undermined somewhat by having a weapon that lights up with electricity. Gotta think that one through…

And then Blake sETS THE HOUSE ON FIRE? Damn, girl! This isn’t even a real battle—at least not between the two of them. Ilia says two seconds later that Blake isn’t taking this seriously, neither of them truly wants to kill the other, so is burning down your house really the best option here? I always knew Blake was secretly the most dramatic of the bunch.

(That’s a lie. I'm sorry. The most dramatic is clearly Weiss, but she’d be proud of Blake’s ridiculously over-the-top strategy here, I’m sure.)

Blake manages to pin Ilia and keeps trying to talk her down. It works. Sort of. Ilia starts to cry as she admits that she doesn’t know what else to do, but at that moment Ghira comes crashing through the wall with another fight at his heels. (This family is rich enough that they don't care about the property damage.) And then we get this,

This is a sharp reminder that though Blake and Ilia might be fighting more with words than fists, the same can’t be said for her parents. They are, notably, in very real danger. The fight picks back up with Ilia clearly torn now between her loyalties. She defends herself though when Sun joins the fray, pausing only when Blake begs the two of them to stop. However, their fighting has already cracked the pillar holding up the second story and Ilia gets caught underneath. Surprisingly, she’s saved by Ghira (which tells us more about his character than all his bickering with Sun ever could) and there’s a nifty bit of teamwork used to get him out—Sun’s copies hold up the balcony; Blake uses her weapon to pull her dad to safety. The brother (Fennec) who tries to attack him from behind is justifiably crushed under the rubble.

Kali is safe and joins the gang. The fight is basically over, but Corsac attacks out of pure grief and rage, allowing Ilia to stun him from behind. Now I’ve got a lot of feelings about Ilia, most of which boil down to just plain not liking her. I already explained in depth my issues with her being the (so far) sole queer character on the show and this is now compounded with her supposed “redemption.” There are problems inherent in making the (again, only) queer character an antagonist, but there are more problems in making them an antagonist and then refusing to stand by that. Rooster Teeth had her as a complex villain and then the moment she was revealed to have feelings for Blake it’s, “Never mind! She’s good now!” in the span of half an episode.

And how does this redemption occur? Ilia attacks Blake and goes after Blake’s parents. She continues to attack them after being given numerous chances to walk away. She turns on her allies… only after the fight is won. If Ilia were a different kind of character her stunning Corsac could have easily been seen as a survival strategy rather than a true change of heart. They’re now outnumbered four to two, so—like Lionheart—why not quickly join the winning side? I honestly wish Ilia was out to double cross Blake if only because that would be consistent with her loyalties up until now. It would make sense.

In the grand scheme of things though these are minor points. What strikes me as far more significant is 1. that Ilia and her allies could have killed Kali and Ghira. I admit that she wasn’t fighting Blake full out, but the purpose of this attack was to assassinate her parents and the fight did lead to at least one death. That’s not just something you bounce back from. Maybe I’m an asshole, but I couldn’t wave that away as a “bad decision” like Blake does. They could have died. And 2. the most important of all, we’ve yet to see any true change in her thinking or ideology! Ilia joins the gang because she lost and she's left standing around awkwardly with Blake—the girl she’s in love with. Would Ilia have second-guessed her actions if they'd succeeded in their mission? I doubt it. In the aftermath of failure she's contrite, but Ilia was pretty damn adamant about killing humans---and the Belladonnas---just a few minutes ago. If her redemption is based on circumstance and her one-sided crush… that’s not a redemption I can get behind.

But it’s what we’re rushed into. Blake gives a rousing speech about how no, they can’t just use humans as a scapegoat for this attack. They can’t allow figureheads like Adam to speak for them. She says that they’re all “looking for simple answers to a very complex problem” and that despite it not being what they want to hear, she doesn’t know how to just “make hate go away.” That’s a huge development from the girl who went to Mountain Glenn and said passionately that she was going to change the world, but without any concrete ideas as to how to do that. Now Blake can admit her own ignorance and knows at the very least what not to do. They’re not going to change the world through violence like this—they won’t change it for the better, anyway.  

I’m with her through all that, up until Blake agrees to take Ilia to Haven. The guard yells out, “You’re just going to forgive her? After all she’s done?” and Blake says only, “Yes.” You know what that is? It’s a simple answer to a very complex problem. It’s painted as admirable on her part—Ghira says she’s learned the lesson of how powerful forgiveness can be—but I think this is RWBY’s fairy-tale simplicity shining through and it doesn’t fit with the heavy material we've been tackling the last few volumes. There’s a big difference between forgiving someone and making sure that they face consequences for their actions. There’s a difference between forgiving them and thinking practically about whether you can or should trust them with your safety and the safety of others. Hell, forgiveness usually takes more than five minutes and often times doesn’t happen at all! Ilia has done none of the work to justify Blake’s forgiveness and though having forgiveness handed to you might read as a beautiful ideal, it doesn’t work well in the gritty, complicated, racially loaded storyline that Rooster Teeth keeps trying to pull off. It feels cheap in the face of all that Blake suffered through this volume, especially when they turn Ilia’s actions into a literal joke. She stabbed Sun? No big deal! He pinched her and now they’re even! How much of a joke would this be if Ghira had suddenly collapsed from his own wound? Or Kali hadn't casually rejoining them entirely unharmed? Maybe I’m more bitter than I thought, but Ilia’s redemption feels like an unintended smack in the face.

The townspeople buy into the happy picture though and we get a chorus of them agreeing to join Blake in the fight to defend Haven. Plans are made to arm, train, and transport the people of Menagerie in two weeks time. Getting civilians into fighting shape that quickly might be a challenge, but at least Blake knows a ship captain who owes her a favor.

And that’s where we end this episode—forging a path for the future. Stay tuned for the next episode “The More the Merrier” as we count down to the Volume 6 premiere!

Other Details of Note

In that opening shot we have what looks like a pretty generic print on the wall—who doesn’t like sunsets?—except that it also shows a crescent moon without the broken pieces. Artist’s interpretation? Time before the moon’s demise? Animator’s forgetting about it while drawing the random painting that viewers are only going to see for about two seconds? You decide!

I really appreciate that Ozpin praises Ruby for being the first to realize the potential implications of the Beacon relic. She’s praised for her skill with Crescent Rose and for being one of the youngest to attend Beacon, but it’s rare that people comment on Ruby’s intellect. She’s smart as hell with one of the more strategic minds of the group—that’s partly why she makes such a good leader. It’s good to see someone, particularly her headmaster, acknowledging that.

After Qrow gets the call from Lionheart he immediately reaches for his flask… despite still having a steaming drink beside him. Apparently working with this guy was tough even before they knew he was loyal to Salem.  

Edit Feb. 2019: Lionheart says that “I’ve done things Ozpin will never forgive” and that’s one hell of a loaded line after hearing Ozpin’s thoughts on Lionheart in Volume 6.

“Sorry, Dad” Blake says right before she burns down their library. Somehow I don't think 'sorry' cuts it in this situation...

#rwby #mymetas #RWBY Recaps

[aion-rsa]

The Best Movies of 2020

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Thank goodness that’s over, right?

To say 2020 was a challenging year is like announcing the Hindenburg had a rough landing. In a period that’s transformed how billions live their lives, there isn’t one person, family, business, or industry that wasn’t impacted significantly by upheaval. And that includes going to the movies.

Just 12 months ago, moviegoers were turning out by the millions to see their favorite space adventures in theaters. Now they’re watching them, and everything else, on streaming. It’s an astonishing journey we’ve detailed further here, but even if our relationship to how we experience films is changing, the fact remains cinema is as vital a form of escape and inspiration as ever. And even in 2020, as Hollywood studios largely abandoned multiplexes to fend for themselves, there also remained excellent motion pictures. Some were released on Netflix, some experimented with premium video on demand, and a rarified few still entered theaters.

Here’s 25 of them.

25. Host

This Zoom horror movie, completed from start to finish in 12 weeks during the middle of a pandemic, might be the movie that sums up 2020 better than any other. But it should also be noted that it’s genuinely very good. The feature debut of Rob Savage runs at just 57 minutes (how very 2020, as in any other year its halfway house runtime might have hurt the movie’s chances), and in that time it sees a group of friends attempt to carry out a séance over Zoom. However, something goes wrong (or is that right?) and a malign entity enters the call.

Performed by a group of women, and one man, who already know each other really well, it’s the easy shorthand of their friendship that elevates this and helps the audience to instantly care. Meanwhile it’s the ambition and inventiveness of Savage and writers Jed Shepherd and Gemma Hurley which increases the scale of this beyond a lockdown found footage movie and into territory where complicated stunt work was involved. First and foremost though, it’s scary. Like really scary. How very 2020. – Rosie Fletcher 

24. Minari

There is currently a bit of controversy over the Golden Globes categorizing Lee Isaac Chung’s Minari as a “foreign language film.” If that stands, it will be a genuine shame, and a greater slight, for this is an all-American story. A semi-autobiographical reverie for its writer-director, Minari depicts a family of Korean-Americans who immigrated to the United States in the 1970s and are now trying to make it as farmers in rural Arkansas in the 1980s.

A beautiful ode to childhood, and both the hardships and joys of the immigrant experience, what’s most rewarding about Chung’s film is its quiet intelligence at working from first the perception of a child named David (Alan S. Kim), and then also from the vantage of his parents and their increasingly frayed marriage (a mutually raw Steven Yeun and Yeri Han). It even has a deep reservoir of understanding for the more complex sorrows of grandmother Soonja (Youn Yuh-jung). Minari is a sophisticated multigenerational snapshot of a distinct group of American lives, and it’s among the best films of the year, however you categorize it. – David Crow

23. Kajillionaire

Miranda July’s ethereal scammer dramedy carries the con-artist torch from Bong Joon-ho’s 2019 masterpiece, Parasite, and once again allows audiences to live vicariously through a scrappy family surviving on society’s margins. But unlike Bong’s Kims, Kajillionaire’s Dynes (Robert Jenkins and Debra Winger) are far from sympathetic; they’re poisoned by their warped take on the American Dream.

Evan Rachel Wood turns in one of 2020’s most stunning performances as their strange daughter, Old Dolio: fierce yet naïve, raised to regard all relationships as transactional and so utterly at a loss as to how to navigate her attraction to their new co-conspirator Melanie (Gina Rodriguez). Old Dolio’s roughness contrasts beautifully with the surreal wonder of July’s dreamy motifs—here, soap bubbles representing the fragility of a life that could change with one puncture.

No one could have predicted that this year would implode worse than a scam gone wrong, nor that even the most well-adjusted families would have to grapple with setting uncomfortable but life-saving boundaries with loved ones. Yet here we are, and somehow July’s hopeful story came to us at exactly the right time: We can delight in Old Dolio breaking toxic patterns, and the elder Dynes learning that letting go of something valuable can be more beneficial than squeezing the life out of it. – Natalie Zutter

22. The Assistant

One of the year’s most unassuming but devastating films is writer-director Kitty Green’s seamless foray from documentary (Casting JonBenet, Ukraine is Not a Brothel) into a classic “inspired by true events” feature. Those true events are the Harvey Weinstein scandal, as the film follows a day in the life of a low-level assistant (Julia Garner) in a prominent Hollywood executive’s New York City office. The Weinstein-like character is never directly seen, and Jane is one of many peons who sketch out the space around his considerable form, as they arrange his midday hotel reservations and restock his private stash of erectile dysfunction medication. 

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Yet out of the whole office, Jane is both the most valuable and the least valued: first one in, last one out, she has devoted all of her waking hours to streamlining this powerful man’s day—which includes covering over his gravest sins with regard to the pretty, impressionable young women she ushers into his office.

Every phone conversation or behind-closed-doors meeting is intentionally muffled so that Jane herself can hardly hear it, let alone the audience. These murmuring pockets invite the viewer to fill in the blanks, imagining the worst possible scenario. The film never gets explicit, but Jane’s dawning realization and horror at her complicity is unsettling enough. Even more so when her attempts to flag this unimaginably inappropriate behavior get undermined by the self-protecting hierarchy of the company. The Assistant is more character portrait than anything else, and it treats its archetypal figure with more sympathy than her real-life counterparts might have earned, but its depiction of seemingly harmless eccentricities snowballing into an unconscionable abuse of power is a must-watch. – NZ

21. His House

This Netflix original horror movie took people by surprise when it landed on the service. The feature debut from Remi Weekes, His House is a clever, nuanced political movie that leans hard into horror tropes, working both as a commentary on the treatment of refugees in Britain and as a seriously frightening ghost story. Wunmi Mosaku (Lovecraft Country) and Sope Dirisu (Gangs of London) play a Sudanese couple who escape the violence of their own country only to find themselves hemmed in by the bureaucracy and judgement of the UK. Placed in a decrepit home that they can’t leave, they are haunted by spirits they brought with them while facing the nightmare of a country that pretends to care but barely sees them as people.

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The performances across the board, including a supporting role from Matt Smith, soar, and the production design is unique, haunting, and at times very beautiful. This is a powerful first film from an exciting new voice, a must-watch for genre lovers, and a showcase for a strong, if not often told, social message that talks about culture, society, and gender. It’s about the demons we see and the ones we do not. – RF

20. Emma.

Jane Austen’s fourth novel, and the last published in her lifetime, has been filmed many times. But director Autumn de Wilde’s version is the best one, perhaps because she is the first woman to helm a straightforward adaptation. Leaning into Austen’s own designs for the book, where the author mused she would “take a heroine whom no one but myself will much like,” Emma. embraces the mischievous and sardonic side of Austen’s wit, and her heroine who was gifted with being “handsome, clever, and rich” from the word go.

Filmed with supreme confidence and a sumptuous color palette of bright pastels in brighter natural lighting, Emma. is vibrant and often veers cheerfully near screwball comedy. This approach is only buoyed by Anya Taylor-Joy, who began a strong year of work with this multifaceted and exceedingly rich portrait of Ms. Woodhouse, in the most magnanimous sense. She and her director searched for “questionable intent” in the material while still crafting a warm film that bubbles with life. It also enjoys a wonderful soundtrack thanks to a collection of actual 18th and 17th century English folk songs, and a puckish score by David Schweitzer and Isobel Waller-Bridge. – DC

19. The Father

Director and screenwriter Florian Zeller’s adaptation of his own stage play stars Anthony Hopkins as Anthony, an elderly English man suffering from the onset of dementia. Olivia Colman is his daughter Anne, who is planning a move to Paris to live with her partner, and is desperately trying to find a new caregiver for her father. People drift in and out of the narrative under different names, Anthony’s spacious apartment seems to change around him and time itself seems to bend before we realize we are seeing almost all the events from Anthony’s point of view—which means that none of what we see can truly be trusted.

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This makes what could have been a conventional drama about illness and memory into something brilliant and terribly heartbreaking, with Hopkins and Colman giving performances that are nothing short of titanic and Zeller’s cool, controlled direction making the emotional cost even more profound. The final scenes of this nearly perfect film will leave you devastated, even if this awful disease has never impacted your life personally. – Don Kaye

18. Sound of Metal

Sound of Metal gives us an up-close, immersive look at what it feels like to suddenly go deaf, and to realize that massive life changes don’t have to portend the end of what it means to live. Riz Ahmed is excellent as Ruben, a recovering drug addict who drums in a heavy metal duo alongside his girlfriend, singer/guitarist Lou (Olivia Cooke). The two tour the indie rock circuit in a beat-up but cozy RV that also serves as their home, but their gypsy lifestyle is upended when Ruben abruptly loses his hearing.

Director Darius Marder (who co-wrote the script with Abraham Marder) does not give into sentimentality even as Ruben moves through grief, loss, denial, anger, and self-pity, all the while clinging to the possibility that he may find a surgical way to restore his hearing. His journey also takes him to a home for deaf people in recovery (headed up by the marvelous Paul Raci, whose own real-life story involving deafness is remarkable), and eventually opens his heart and mind. The excellent sound design is the final touch on a captivating and highly original story. – DK

17. The Personal History of David Copperfield

After exposing the sheer absurdity of modern politics in films and series like In The Loop, The Death of Stalin, and Veep, Armando Iannucci found solace this year in creating this earnest, light, charming adaptation of Charles Dickens’ classic novel, David Copperfield. The film still tackles Dickens’ persistent themes of class, privilege, poverty, and human rights, although in far less scathing fashion than Iannucci is known for. Casting his project in colorblind fashion has also allowed the director to subtly modernize the piece while grounding it firmly in 1850s England.

Some of us may get a bit lost in the onrush of characters and events in this fast-paced film, as Iannucci breezes through a lot of the book’s events. But the story itself, and the multitude of vivid, colorful, oddball characters who are led by an enthusiastic Dev Patel as David, are so timeless and relevant to the human condition that only diehard loyalists to the original text may find something to grumble about. The rest of us can enjoy a delightful adaptation that we might not even know we needed. – DK

16. Bad Education

For his whole career, Hugh Jackman has been celebrated for his consummate showmanship. Whether it is as ambassador for a major superhero franchise or the song and dance man who can win Tonys at the same ceremony he’s hosting, his charm is irresistible. So imagine his delight when director Cory Finely presented him with Bad Education: the movie where his ability to ingratiate turns into something sinister and perfectly apt for the year it was released in.

Based on a 2004 New York Magazine article about the largest school embezzlement scandal in history, Bad Education plays like a dark comedy about American greed, as well as prologue for the 21st century hucksterism that was to come. Filmed with the same clinical nihilism found in Finley’s Thoroughbreds, this film is so much larger in its landscape of apathy of self-delusion. And at the center of it is Jackman’s affable Long Island school superintendent, a man who hides dark secrets and a bottomless pit of narcissism, both of which allow him to tell any lie that keeps him on top. Hence why watching his house of cards fall is pretty satisfying, especially these days. – DC

15. Small Axe

Steve McQueen’s latest effort, an anthology of short films set around Black communities in 1970s and ’80s Britain has been the source of some debate. Should these be looked at as individual films or can the work only be considered as a whole? We don’t have a satisfactory answer either, but Small Axe is as thoroughly compelling as the rest of McQueen’s work, and two films in particular, Mangrove and Lovers Rock are standouts.

Mangrove is the longest, most traditionally “feature length” entry in Small Axe. Gifted with urgent, authentic performances to tell the story of the Mangrove Nine, it’s also (like the rest of the films in the anthology) an effortlessly immersive recreation of its era, even as its subject matter resonates uncomfortably with today’s headlines. But while the other movies that comprise Small Axe are shorter than many features, they’re no less powerful. The immensely beautiful Lovers Rock, with its haunting reggae soundtrack and beautifully filmed party scenes, serves as a reminder of so much of what we’ve lost and taken for granted in this pandemic year, and the intimacy that can be found in crowds. It’s essential viewing, and both a snapshot of a moment in time and a reminder of something else we’ve lost to this pandemic year. – Mike Cecchini

14. Tenet (READERS’ CHOICE)

In a tumultuous year, no blockbuster has had quite as much controversy surrounding it as Christopher Nolan’s Tenet. The director was notoriously adamant that his film should be the one to lead moviegoers back to cinemas worldwide, a quixotic (some might say selfish) endeavor that might’ve undercut the ambition of a movie that blends the action and spectacle of the wildest James Bond movies with elements of time travel, quantum physics, and Nolan’s famed attention to detail.

But lost in all that controversy—and perhaps in its nigh-incomprehensible plot—is the fact that maybe, were the world not in the midst of a deadly pandemic, Nolan was right.

Perhaps more than any other blockbuster of the last year or more, Tenet was clearly designed with the cinematic experience in mind. Action set pieces, filmed in gorgeous locations that would be spectacular on their own, take on the quality of magic tricks as events and performances are “inverted” by the film’s central, mysterious technology.

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Even Nolan’s notorious penchant for emotionally distant main characters is undercut by performances from John David Washington and Robert Pattinson that bring this about as close to a buddy action movie two-hander as you’re ever likely to see from the director. Whether you ultimately view Tenet as a smarter-than-your-average thrill ride or a puzzle that can only be unlocked via repeated viewings, it still deserves, even demands, your full attention. – MC

13. One Night in Miami

Regina King has been in the business of making movies for nearly three decades. Who knew she could also be such an astonishing director? Yet with her first theatrical feature, she announces undiscovered talent in this sweltering, jubilant film that interrogates what life is like at the intersection of Black art and Black commerce in America.

With screenwriter Kemp Powers adapting his own stage play, One Night in Miami imagines a fictional account of an evening where Malcolm X (Kingsley Ben-Adir), Sam Cooke (Leslie Odom Jr.), Jim Brown (Aldis Hodge), and the man who would soon be Muhammad Ali (Eli Goree) walk into a 1964 motel room. Their conversations about the challenges of Black celebrity in a world that pulls them both toward the desperate need of social equity and the more comfortable appeal of white-friendly affability, is one that is still going on to this day. But it’s told here with bombastic performances and a visual flair that is so kinetic it overcomes the admittedly stagebound limitations of the film’s conceit. – DC 

12. Soul

What does it mean to have soul? How do you feed it? Joe Gardner, the Jamie Foxx-voiced protagonist of Soul, thinks he has the answer in the keys of his music, but the beauty of this latest Pixar film is it lives within the ambiguous places that aren’t be so easily defined. As yet another sophisticated offering from co-director Pete Docter, who previously co-helmed Inside Out, Soul pushes Pixar back toward its ambitious best, finding a way to convey complex ideas in an adventure with universal appeal.

With dazzling animation that leans into abstract concepts about life, death, and a weird transient state between the two, the film asks big questions in a way a child can appreciate, if not fully understand. To be sure, it’s the rare kids’ movie that gingerly suggests there is happiness in the seeming pointlessness of existence. It also benefits from ascendant music by Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross, and Jon Batiste on the piano. In fact, realizing Nine Inch Nails penned one of the great Disney scores might be 2020’s most pleasant surprise. – DC

11. Saint Maud

The directorial debut of Rose Glass did the festival circuit in 2019 and was due to land in cinemas in the spring. Instead it was pushed back to October in the UK, mid-pandemic. So perhaps it didn’t get the fanfare it would have garnered in a normal year. Set in a rundown seaside town, the movie sees young palliative care nurse Maud (Morfydd Clark) become obsessed with her patient Amanda (Jennifer Ehle), who is dying of cancer. After a highly traumatic incident, Maud has found God—a God she believes talks directly to her and has made it Maud’s mission to save Amanda’s soul.

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A nightmarish horror of shifting perception, where bodies and minds are in conflict, this is a movie packed with indelible imagery, not least the devastating final scene. Ehle is excellent as the former dancer whose body is letting her down, but Clark is a revelation as the tiny, fierce Maud, all self-flagellation and buttoned up piety until she’s not. – RF

10. Nomadland

Utilizing both actors and real people, director Chloé Zhao (The Rider and Marvel’s upcoming Eternals) chronicles the lives of America’s “forgotten people” as they travel the West, searching for work, companionship, and community in the years following the Great Recession. A brilliant Frances McDormand stars as Fern, a woman in her mid-60s who lost her husband, her house, and her entire previous existence when the town she lived in—Empire, Nevada—vanished off the map following the closure of its sole factory.

Zhao’s film quietly flows from despair to optimism and back to despair again, all while the hardscrabble lives of its itinerant cast (many of them actual nomads) is foregrounded against stunning, if lonely, vistas from the American countryside. Nomadland shows us both the best and worst of America at once: the cruelty of a nation that refuses more and more to take care of its own, juxtaposed with the decency and compassion one can find on an individual basis. Whether the latter is enough to overcome the former is one of Nomadland’s haunting, unanswered questions.  – DK

9. Wonder Woman 1984

A movie about flying and lying (even to one’s self), Wonder Woman 1984 came onto the pop culture scene at the very end of a very bad year. For many, the film’s muddled superhero logic and lackluster third act action scenes were enough to ruin the experience. For others, including many of us, the big budget earnestness of Diana Prince won the day. The film’s delights include charismatic performances from Pedro Pascal and Kristen Wiig as complex antagonists Maxwell Lord and Cheetah; a breathtaking Themyscira sequence; and Chris Pine pretending to ride an escalator for the first time.

Ultimately, however, Wonder Woman 1984 warrants a spot on this list due to its unexpected thematic priority. While many storytellers use a 1980s setting as an excuse to blast Blondie (fair enough), give the costume department free rein on shoulder pads (yes, please), or to harken back to an imagined simpler time (sure, whatever), director and co-writer Patty Jenkins uses it as a way to rewrite American history.

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The Best Comics of 2020

By Jim Dandy and 2 others

If the 1980s was an era that saw economic policies shifting the power from government to Wall Street, then here is a superhero flick that goes back in time to imagine a different path forward, one in which America is able to avoid the path that prioritizes the few over the many. It’s a fantasy, sure—and one that is understandably too porous for some to enjoy—but it’s a particularly cathartic one for 2020. – Kayti Burt

8. Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom

Adapted from August Wilson’s play by director George C. Wolfe (and not quite able to escape its stage origins), Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom is set during a heated recording session by the title artist–one of the pioneering blues singers of the 1920s–and her touring band. As tensions rise between Ma (Viola Davis) and certain band members, plus Ma and the white men, who of course own the record label, the band members find themselves at odds over the music they’re making and much more.

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Culture

Ma Rainey’s Life and Reign as the Mother of the Blues

By Tony Sokol

Movies

Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom Ending Explained

By Tony Sokol

While Ma and the events of the story may be fictionalized, the issues that come up—race, religion, money, and art—are not just universal but as relevant as ever in terms of the Black experience in America. Davis is a supernova as Ma, and the rest of the supporting cast is just as terrific. Yet the spotlight undeniably belongs to the late Chadwick Boseman in his final screen appearance. As Levee, the trumpeter who wants to go solo, Boseman radiates rage, pain, and frustration in a performance as incendiary as it is tragic. – DK 

7. Birds of Prey

Harley Quinn’s fabulous emancipation was just that—fabulous. As a fierce, funny, feminist ensemble piece with a quality cast that flipped on its head Harley’s dubious treatment at the hands of Mr. J in Suicide Squad, Harley herself, Margot Robbie, pitched the movie back in 2015. Birds of Prey shows a different side to Gotham City where a grubby underworld of people are trying to scratch together a living, and the only thing objectified in this female team-up is a bacon and egg sandwich (and what a sandwich it is). 

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Movies

How Birds of Prey Subverts the Male Gaze

By Kayti Burt

Movies

Birds of Prey’s Marilyn Monroe Musical Scene Explained

By David Crow

Working from a script by Christina Hodson, director Cathy Yan’s film has a totally different flavor from anything that had come before from the DCEU. R-Rated, rude, and colorful, the movie sees the whole of Gotham out to get Harley now that she’s no longer under the Joker’s protection. But a young pickpocket, a stolen diamond, and Ewan McGregor’s gangster bring together a mismatched bunch in a joyful slice of anarchy that hits exactly the right notes. Superhero movies don’t get much more fun than this. – RF

6. Mank

The authorship of Citizen Kane has divided critics and film scholars for generations. So you can almost sense the glee boiling up in David Fincher as Mank wades right into the middle of it with a stylized and exquisitely crafted love letter to Herman J. Mankiewicz—and proverbial middle finger toward Orson Welles. One sympathizes, as Mankiewicz (or “Mank”) has been an unsung figure in film history: a member of New York’s 1920s generation of literary writers and journalists who bought into the allure of easy money in Hollywood but never got the credit he deserved for selling his soul.

Well, Mank attempts to return it with interest. A film that basks in demolishing Old Hollywood nostalgia, even with its black and white photography and heightened melodramatic score by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, Mank recalls the ugly side of yesteryear, and the greed that slaughtered talent, be it for money as embodied by Louis B. Mayer, or ego as personified by the film’s vision of Welles.

Yet its elegy for Mankiewicz—portrayed with delicious self-loathing by Gary Oldman—and his generation of forgotten writers is what makes the film unexpectedly warm for a Fincher joint. As does Mank’s relationship with Marion Davies, an also overlooked movie star given spirited reconsideration by Amanda Seyfried in one of the year’s best performances. – DC 

5. Palm Springs

There must be something hypnotic about the banality of time loops, because to date the concept hasn’t produced a bad movie. Harold Ramis and Bill Murray’s Groundhog Day remains the paterfamilias, and prime original day, for the form. Yet that film’s many imitators have still pushed other filmmakers toward genuine inspiration. And that may have never been truer than for Palm Springs, a millennial reimagining of Groundhog’s exploration of a romance stuck on repeat—but with an ingenious added wrinkle.

Instead of one half a potential couple being oblivious to her role in a cyclical love story, both Nyles (Andy Samberg) and Sarah (Cristin Milioti) are keenly aware of their shared Sisyphean hell. Worse still, they’re also trapped at a lame wedding. The small addition has massive creative repercussions, with director Max Barbakow and company lightly critiquing the implicit ickiness in Ramis’ film, as well as providing an opportunity for a true two-hander film between Samberg and Milioti. It’s Samberg’s best work to date, but Milioti is the real revelation as the woman who is our eyes and ears into a circular existence that is both horrifying and pleasant, romantic and exhausting. Like the film as a whole, this is a delightful nightmare. – DC

4. Da 5 Bloods

Hollywood’s great reckoning with America’s involvement in the Vietnam War may never truly end. But few films have gotten to the human cost of the war that lingers long after soldiers came home quite as emotionally as Spike Lee’s Da 5 Bloods.

Alternately a heartfelt tale of friendship and identity amidst shared hardship and a raucous action movie, effortlessly connecting the dots between the racial politics of the Civil Rights era during the Vietnam War and the Black Lives Matter movement of today, Da 5 Bloods may be the most clear-sighted movie about the conflict ever made. The film’s emotional power is bolstered even further by a rousing Terence Blanchard score, as well as a significant chunk of Marvin Gaye’s era-defining masterpiece album, What’s Going On.   

Even at 156 minutes, Da 5 Bloods never overstays its welcome. Despite an action heavy third act that may seem incongruous with some of the film’s weightier themes, its characters are so powerful, and the performances so unforgettable, that nothing is ever lost. And while each of the film’s five leads (not to mention Chadwick Boseman’s almost ethereal “Stormin’” Norman Holloway, seen only in flashback) are terrific, none are more haunting than Delroy Lindo’s manic, tortured turn as Paul, a soldier still bearing the scars of war, both foreign and domestic. – MC

3. Promising Young Woman

Carey Mulligan plays against type in this candy colored fable of an avenging angel who goes to nightclubs and pretends to be wasted in order to shame the men who try to take her home and take advantage. It’s an ultra modern take on the rape-revenge subgenre with a very female gaze. Mulligan’s Cassie is a delicate clothes horse with multicolored nails who works in a coffee shop and lives with her parents—her brand of revenge is specific, personal, and highly female.

Despite the dark subject matter, this is an unashamedly fun film (um, until it’s not) with a killer soundtrack. It’s the directorial debut of actor Emerald Fennell (most recently seen playing Camilla in The Crown), who also wrote the picture, and she reveals an extremely distinctive style. A starry supporting cast also deliver uniformly excellent performances, including Bo Burnham, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Adam Brodie, and Alfred Molina, which makes this feel big budget glossy.

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Movies

Da 5 Bloods Opening History Montage Explained

By David Crow

Movies

What the Mank Ending Leaves Out About Orson Welles and Citizen Kane

By David Crow

But it’s Mulligan’s movie. It’s impossible to take your eyes off her, and she owns the screen as a powerful warrior, a vulnerable soul, and a heroine for our times. – RF

2. The Invisible Man

A Blumhouse redo of a Universal classic from the bloke who wrote Saw, on paper this wouldn’t be an obvious contender for a year-end best list. But then The Invisible Man isn’t an obvious movie. As the last film many saw at the cinema before lockdown landed, The Invisible Man is an incredibly smart take on the H.G. Wells story, which focuses not on the scientist who creates the suit that makes him invisible, but the woman he uses it to terrorize.  

He may be “the guy who wrote Saw,” but writer-director Leigh Whannell has proved himself incredibly adept at a certain kind of action/horror with this and Upgrade—both include thrilling sequences of people who aren’t in control of their own bodies. Here it’s Elisabeth Moss who is being stalked by her abusive ex-boyfriend. Whannell uses the conceit to great effect: It’s a movie about gaslighting, which has the audience scanning the peripheries of the scene at all times, keeping us on edge, just like Cece, and wrong footing us all the same.

Top notch performances and serious subject matter handled with panache make this a scary standout for any year. We can’t wait to see what Whannell does with The Wolfman… – RF

1. The Trial of the Chicago 7

“The whole world is watching.” That is the chant shouted throughout Aaron Sorkin’s second directorial effort, The Trial of the Chicago 7, and it echoes in our 2020 ears like the Ghost of Christmas Past. A little more than 50 years ago, the United States government put eight men on trial for protesting the Democratic National Convention—and the Vietnam War its presumptive nominee supported. This legal circus occurred even though the riot that broke out during the protests was started by the police. It would be understatement to note it all plays as eerily prescient today.

Beyond the loaded political subtexts though, the movie’s placement on this list reflects what happens when Sorkin’s screenplays achieve their greatest alchemy: With words being deployed in a courtroom as ruthlessly as batons were on a summer night in Chicago, each dialogue exchange in Chicago 7 is kinetic. The film defies the seemingly stagey quality of its legal setting, and not by just inserting flashbacks to a recreation of the 1968 riots (though they’re here too), but by turning verbose monologues into thrilling set pieces. Defense attorneys duel prosecutors; defendants defy a shockingly biased and corrupt judge; and believers in the system, like Sorkin himself, stare into the abyss of what happens when it fails.

All of these elements amplify the film’s vision of protestors from “the far left” running into the hard wall of mainstream resistance to change. It’s a showcase for Sorkin, his editor Alan Baumgarten, and the whole ensemble, particularly in one grueling sequence between Yahya Abdul-Mateen II as Bobby Seale and Frank Langella as Judge Julius Hoffman. The Trial of the Chicago 7 can be horrifying in places, and yet always engrossing. And most miraculously of all, it’s never cynical. That might be why it electrifies most at this moment. – DC

Other movies receiving balloted votes (in descending order): Relic, The News of the World, Uncle Frank, Never Always Sometimes, Class Action Park, Freaky, The Way Back, The Old Guard, Synchronic, The Devil All the Time, I’m Thinking of Ending Things, Enola Holmes, Shirley, Unpregnant, Wolfwalkers, Rebecca, On the Rocks, MLK/FBI, Scare Me, The Lodge, Happiest Season, I’m Your Woman, Bill & Ted 3, The Platform, Monsoon, Possessor, Ordinary Love, Miss Juneteenth, Athlete A, How to Build a Girl, The Vast of Night, What the Constitution Means to Me, Muscle, Calm the Horses, Color Out of Space, Eurovision, Another Round, Misbehaviour, The Boys in the Band, Borat 2, Extraction, Midnight Sky, Zappa, The Half of It, Greenland, 7500, Onward, The Wolf of Snow Hollow, The Nest, Bad Hair, Capone, Project Power, New Order, The Gentlemen, Lost Girls, The 40 Year-Old-Version.

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Life Story Part 35

Those miserable two and a half weeks of waiting for Zack to come back to school were gloomy and ridden with anxiety. I could barely breath, and I thought of nothing but him. I felt so low. Something seemed different now, some force outside of my control had stepped in and prevented what was happening from happening. There was a paradigm shift in my reality. Something felt very wrong, and yet nothing had really changed in any obvious way. And yet it had. I was frustrated all the time. I could not put my finger on what I was sensing. There was this different tone that my friends had in their voice when they spoke to me. Nobody would talk to me unless they had to. But nobody would tell me why. I felt like everyone knew something, but simply were choosing not to tell me.

One day in the girl's bathroom, Sarah came in, and without me saying anything to her at all said 'Renee, Zack doesn't like you that way. Okay?' I asked her if he had said something to someone about me. She hadn't heard anything. She was being honest, Zack had never said anything to anybody. I could tell that her reason for mentioning it was personal to her. She had problems with the situation with Zack and I. I didn't want to believe she was jealous. But it certainly looked that way. There was this desperate edge in her voice, like it was vexing her personally. I knew I couldn't be 100% honest with her after that. And Ava was straight out dismissive, and would pretend she didn't know what I was talking about. She would walk away if she could, and wouldn't look me in the eye at all. I felt like people were keeping some great terrible truth from getting to me. I tried to be upfront, yet I didn't want to appear crazy. And yet, when I tried to ask everyone, nobody seemed to know what I was referring to.

Zack wasn't sick. Maybe he had been for a day or two, but not for two weeks. Something was up. Did it have to do with what happened on the 17th of January? And if it had, then what had I really done wrong? Could life really be this easy to fuck up? I was able to borrow a Pablo Honey album of Radiohead's from someone that Samantha knew. At first, I skipped to Creep, but then I started listening to the whole album. I really liked Radiohead after all. I had disliked them so vehemently less than a year ago. Strange. So many things seemed different somehow. The sky didn't look the same. I had never seen the sky look like that. I seemed to notice subtle hues and microexpressions so much more clearly now, I could see now that there was so much more to life than what I had ever been told or had ever been expressed to me. The world was full of pain, but also full of beauty, and the bland sterile happiness in the smiles of the popular kids faces as they walked around me, the empty shallow pop tunes on the radio, all of it was meaningless. I didn't love Zack because he made me happy. So much of what people assumed about love was because it made them feel good or made them happy. He brought out a strange joy in me, but it was tinged with pain. It was a sort of pain that I needed though. It was recreating me into what I was meant to be, and I could sense that within myself.

After school, I would go home and sink into my mattress and disappear. It's strange to think about it now, but my world was rapidly and without warning completely falling apart at the seems. And I had nobody to talk to about it.

I ended up going home from school early one of the days. For some reason my pink finger began swelling up and became extremely painful in the nail area. Then the nail started to peel back over the course of just a few days, and green and yellow ooze began to drip out of it in large doses. I remember walking back home at noon, my pinky finger swollen and hot in the cold late January winter air. Eventually my pinky began bleeding this green yellow ooze and it would fall on the snow on the ground as I walked down the path despondent.

And then there was the fateful basketball game that I missed out on. Zack was there – somehow resurrected from the abyss, Tyeson was there, Jason was there. I couldn't go though. I was stuck at home cooking a chicken and babysitting. I felt confined. It was all I could muster not to freak out and cry. Had he shown up at his normal time I would have gone. But that night my father was running much later than ordinary. I suppose it wasn't his fault or anyone's. But Zack had shown his face somewhere, and I absolutely had to see him. I didn't realize it consciously, but I felt like I had to fend off my friends. Not Samantha, since she had a boyfriend, but Sarah and Ava. I knew something was up. I paced about the house. I listened to Elephant again and again. I cut my hair. I was looking in the mirror, and the lyric in the song Little Acorns 'your problems hide in your curls' came up and perhaps reaching desperately for some kind of meaning, I took this lyric to be a message telling me personally that it was time to chop a few inches off and straighten my hair.

I never ended up going to the game. My father was super late, visiting a friend, and didn't get back till the game had ended. During that game, Ava had made some kind of connection with Tyeson in unspoken body language. Zack had been there, but nobody told me very much. He had asked where I was. And sadly Jason was doing terribly. He had been high and drunk for days. When he was in school, he smelled so thick of vomit that it was hard to be around him. He was not in a good mood, he didn't smile. He talked about killing himself offhandedly. He asked Sarah if she would date him, written in a scribbling letter with the penmanship of an exhausted eight year old. He spelled everyone's name very wrong. It was sweet, but more desperate than anything. He wanted Sarah to chase his addictions away. And Sarah didn't feel that way about Jason. Before class one day, as I was sitting besides Jason in front of the school at the bench, he just started vomiting. He had taken a handful of pills that morning, hydros mostly. He could keep nothing down, and when you considered that he already had anemia, he became even paler, and even more ill. I could not imagine doing that to myself for months like he did. Addiction is a horrible thing.

That basketball game, he had tried to lay down in front of vehicles in the parking lot, so that as they were leaving they would run him over and crush him to death. People had to pull him out and set him straight. His sister Tanya saw this happen. She scoffed and walked away. I don't think Tanya was a cruel person by any means or that she wanted to see her brother commit suicide. I think what I was seeing was her reaction to years of Jason. When you are addicted or mentally unstable, if you have made some terrible mistakes and seem to keep making them, people give up on you. She had learned to harden herself to this kind of thing. It's not right, but it is something that does occur in families.

Jason had another set of friends. These kids were a year younger. Derrick Mitchel, April S., and this quiet redheaded boy I never knew the name of. We didn't hang out with them, I struggled to relate to them at all. April was extremely aggressive and emotionally unstable. She smoked a lot of weed made jokes about shitting, was really vocally against everything and everyone and yelled a lot, and had a worse homelife than I did by a long shot. Derrick Mitchel was gay, had a tendency to steal, and would run his mouth to men three times his size with a smile on his face.

Naturally neither one of them was popular at all, and even though they were enormously different, their commonality in not fitting in caused them to be a sort of mishmash group. They were constantly screaming at one another. Derrick Mitchel would call April a fat ugly bitch, and then April would get up and act like she was going to hurt Derrick Mitchel and the redhead. And Derrick Mitchell would laugh at her, and somehow it all would go back to normal. I never understood why they even hung out. Jason kind of became their ringleader for this time. He was able to provide them with weed, mostly. Jason told them about all his thievery, he gave them detailed accounts. And he must have shown them all where he hid the stuff, including Mrs. Gulke's laptop. Because when he failed to get weed to them, or when he became annoyed with Derrick Mitchel, Derrick got him back by turning Jason into the authorities.

Jason was in school that day. He was called to the office, and as soon as he got close to the office, he knew there were cops waiting for him, so he decided to make a run for it. He made it into the entrance room – a room that had the Kendrick Tiger trophies and age old class of 87' team pictures displayed, as well as a few pop machines. Mr. Bradley, our sizable history teacher barricaded the door on one side. The cops came in through the other side. Jason was trying to break through as they came in and arrested him. He had to be knocked to the ground. He didn't trust cops and he fought back. He had some reason to not trust cops, since they had once mistaken him for one of his relatives in the park, had knocked him down to the ground and began beating him before realizing they had the wrong guy. And then they drove off, leaving him bruised and knocked to the ground, him trying to explain to them that he wasn't Johnny. And that's how Jason was hauled away. He was gone from school for awhile, where he was charged and arrested and so forth. He came back to school only for the last month of 9th grade.

My father began dating again. I had first met her down at the daycare center. She was 28, had long blonde hair, she was fairly pretty but looked like she had it a little rough, had a cheery voice, a valley girl accent and a few of her teeth were blackened for some reason. Her daughter Jessica was best friends with my younger sister Allison already. She had a very young son named Troy, and another older daughter named Jasmine. Tammy was really friendly with me when I came into the daycare to fetch Allison one day, and I soon learned it was because she had her eye on my dad. I have learned to know this behavior when women are interested in my father. They generally come up to me, and they start hinting for information about my dad. They keep saying 'God, your dad is so wonderful huh?! Such a good dad!.. You guys must get along great!' This has happened to me several times. Each time, I always agree, 'oh yes, he hung the moon so he did.' I don't tell them that he forced me to sit in the dark for three months or that he beat me or psychologically abused me. I just smiled and agreed the best that I could. I didn't want to be chasing people away who could be potential distractions for him that would keep him off my book.

Tammy had it rough. She and her siblings had grown up in the San Fernando Valley in California during the 80's. Her mother had schizophrenia, she didn't really know who her father was, and her mom was selling her kids to do child porn to buy drugs for herself. Tammy was too young to remember if any of the sexual abuse happened to her. She and her brother and sisters had to scrounge through fast food garbage cans for food and they were eventually called into CPS. She didn't ever have a toothbrush until she was older. When they took her away, she was put in a group home, where she learned to draw and cook in her spare time. She got into partying, and based on a loose notion of who Tammy thought her dad might be based on something her mom had said once, she decided that this odd man in Kendrick Idaho was her father.

His name was Harvey. He was mentally handicapped. He had Elvis Presley's hair style. I think it was all that Harvey knew. He was small and tan. He had a little nervous voice and he stuttered when he spoke, and preferred to keep to himself. He took bicycles apart and put them back together in this beat up old shed behind his house. He ate his food outside by a burn barrel. He fed stray cats until his entire yard was filled to the brink with wild cats and kittens. He didn't know how to get rid of them, so he had to spend more and more of his government check on food for them. And he was definitely not Tammy's father. They looked absolutely nothing alike. But there was no loss in this arrangement however. Harvey was lonely. He had no friends or family, and people were scared of him for some reason. He lived most all of his life at the end of Kendrick. He could go twenty years without ever leaving the town. He would take a bicycle ride sometimes and I remember seeing him as a young girl.

But when Tammy found him, and assessed the situation, she did him a favor as well as herself. Tammy divorced her first husband, who was this insane meth dealer. She needed a place to go that was out of California. And Harvey was alone. When she chose to see herself as his daughter, he was immediately given three grandchildren to care for and build things for. He no longer was alone on Christmas. I am fairly positive that Tammy was using him, but it really was a harmless arrangement and did the both of them a lot of good, and I absolutely don't fault her for it.

I personally really liked having Tammy around. She cooked, and liked grunge music. She was really confused as to why my dad had me set up in the dark, so he bought me a lamp to please her, albeit a dim one. She was a little bit manipulative and sketchy at times, had elements to her personality that seemed a little off balance, and her relationship with my father itself was rather gross, but when it came to her and me, we were on good terms more or less. My father heated the house more efficiently tried harder to make things accommodating and kept on his best behavior, and most importantly, he no longer was concerned about what I was doing in any way.

My father decided that he now wanted to encourage my interest in music. He had painted me as some terrible teenager early on – siting my music as an example, but he seemed to be easing up somewhat. And more importantly, he wanted to impress Tammy in any way he could. He ended up buying us tickets to see a show in Spokane WA. Metallica was playing and Godsmack was the opening act. I was overjoyed. Metallica wasn't really my favorite band at all. I tried to like them, but generally failed. But a concert was a concert. I didn't even care. I did like Godsmack quite a bit more back then though. I think in my excitement I gave my father a rare hug. It would just be Tammy and I. That was the one piece of good news that came my way, in my otherwise broken state.

A few days after Valentine's day, Zack finally came back to school. I had hoped we could proceed where we had left off. But something about him was changed. For the first few days he seemed to avoid me altogether. He walked ahead of me to classes we shared. He sat a distance from me in FFA. He didn't talk to me much if he could help it. I didn't want to bother him, so I avoided intruding in his space. But I was silently dying a slow death. I called my friends, but they didn't want to talk about it. They told me that I had enough of his attention and I shouldn't complain essentially.

I remember this entire later part of winter as always night out. In a way it kind of was from what little I saw of the sun. It was still dark when I woke up in the morning. It lightened up a little on the walk to school, but when I went into Sarah's house, her house was so cozy and well lit, with homemade blankets and antique knick knacks. There were always curtains over the windows. It could be so cozy in her home, that you would look outside and it felt like an impossibly cold dark world. Inside we could listen to albums and drink hot cocoa, and sleep till noon on weekends. Even if it was light outside, it really felt like another world separated from the outside world.

And then in school, the window's blinds were always pulled up to prevent wind chill and student distraction. So for the entire time I was cooped up in the building, there was very little outdoor time to be had. By the time we got out at 3:30pm, the sun was already in the process of going down again. And if I did anything after school, it would generally involve walking in the dark. And then my bedroom, even with the lamp was extremely dim. It had the effect of about two candles.

On the night of February 20 (Kurt Cobain's birthday), I convinced Sarah that I wanted to go to a basketball game. I wasn't a fan of basketball games. They sort of required that you actually watch the games because they didn't want people haunting the hallways of the school. Basketball is not my friend. I don't understand it very well. There was very little space for people to hang out. There was actually nothing wrong with this. I wanted the latent qualities of outside socialization, but the games were actually sports related. A few times, we managed to convince Ms. Fiske to let us hang out in the art room, but that was mostly it.

I went to this game, because I had heard that Zack would be there. I thought maybe just maybe he would open up to me in a different environment and this could be our opportunity to begin again. Sarah and I waited for a few miserable hours, but there seemed to be nobody coming. So we started walking back to my house. I was disappointed, but I still hadn't given up. We might be able to spot him, I decided if we were to stay close to the highway. And for some reason I convinced Sarah that we needed to walk alongside the highway. We were standing at this pit stop for campers to get water and use the bathroom that used to exist on the outskirts of town, when suddenly a van drove up to us. Zack was in the van. His sister was driving. Cody (Ava's exboyfriend) was in there too, mumbling and so high that nothing he said was coherent. Zack had Whitney stop the van so he could talk to me. We started trying to get to each other through the van. Whitney explained to us that Zack had stayed home that day in honor of Kurt Cobain's birthday. They had baked Kurt Cobain a birthday cake, and then proceeded to get as high as they all could. They were a little late to the game, but had tried to make it. Zack was hyper and trying to get me to get into the van with him. I wanted to, but I really couldn't. It was totally incoherent as far as plans go, obviously on a lark. My father would wonder where I had gone. Whitney seemed slightly annoyed. And what about Sarah? I couldn't very well just leave her out in the limbo of the night on the side of the road like that. Whitney seemed slightly amused by Zack. She looked at me with all honesty and said to me 'I have never seen Zack act like this before. He's never like this at all. You have a very strange effect on him'. We foolishly flirted a bit longer, but Whitney couldn't stay there. So eventually I had to say goodbye to Zack as the white van carried him off into the night.

It's strange to think that this was thirteen years ago. Which feels very close to me – like in the grand scheme of things as far as human's inhabiting our planet, it might have as well have happened thirty seconds ago. But it also seems unreal to think like this could ever have happened at all. I was such a different person back then, But also feels like it never happened at all, it feels like I took a step into limbo and walked into a new frame at some point, leaving all of this behind me.

Zack started talking to me again after this, quite a lot actually more than he ever had. But it was quite a bit different than it had been before. He didn't flirt with me anymore, or tell me he loved me. Instead, he wanted to talk about his personal life. I had felt a lot more comfortable with flirting, and this new element made me very nervous. It was good for me, however. I think him revealing himself to be a real person made me understand what it meant to actually love and care about a real person. With Kyle, and to some degree with Zack early on I had idealized them to the point of not being able to reach up to them. And this was his way of coming down the pedestal and standing as my equal I believe. He began confiding in me a lot of personal stuff that was honestly hard to decipher and difficult to respond to.

He just came into FFA one day, sat down next to me, and started showing me all these personal writings he had done. He wrote in this scribbled fairly unstable handwriting, about his chronic stomach pains. He wrote about how the world was broken and nobody knew what love was. He wrote about feeling suicidal. Some of these writings mentioned a secret group of people who were after him. He seemed to believe that there was a group of elites who ran all the world governments. It was hard for me to tell if he meant this seriously or symbolically. He spoke in a lot of symbolism. I was sort of shocked, and didn't know how to take this. I had never had a boy confide in me like this.. He wrote about me a lot in his writings. He wrote about how I had an inner light that must go on without him as the light in him was going dim and he would die soon.

I was so confused. I really cherished everything about him, and I wanted to understand him better. I had never really recognized all the confusion and pain he was feeling. I had no idea his thoughts were like this. I felt honored that I was one of the few people he felt he could trust. And I wanted what he had to say to make sense. He wrote about me like I was a celestial light being almost. It never occurred to me that someone would see me like this. It was impossible for me to live up to this ideal. He wrote that I had magic powers. And why me? What had lead him to become obsessed with me? What made him think I was this special? Honestly, I had started into this journey, just assuming that we liked each other – hopefully, and we could run away together and insulate ourselves against reality somehow. Now I couldn't tell if it had really been because of these ideas he had about me being magic all along.

I eventually asked him about this secret group. He kind of told me it was the Illuminati, or the freemasons. I of course had never really heard about anything like this, or really had seriously given it a thought. His uncle had been this conspiracy theorist who wrote a book and then disappeared. The book was free on his website, but Zack didn't tell me where to look. He talked about this a lot, and in my naive mind, he sort of convinced me. With all the changes that had happened to me psychologically in the last few months, when I looked at the strange occurrence of us naturally having gravitated towards each other, when I even thought about the first day of school, and drawing the Nirvana smiley separately on our hands. I didn't really have any strong spiritual beliefs, but it really felt to me at the time like there was something in the universe that was making these things happen between us that was part of something much bigger. And Zack seemed to be able to look into my soul. I really did feel like he could, ever since he had stared me down on that first day. I was beginning to believe there really was something to this. I would stay up all night thinking about it, writing about it, and waking up in the morning anxious to get back to school to see him again.

My friends were kind of baffled, jealous and dismissive. In a lot of ways, I was insulated from outside influence. Nobody knew what to say. Zack seemed like he was losing his mind a little, but I think my friends all secretly wished he would lose his mind about them instead. But in a way, they also were just baffled since this betrayed their impression of who Zack really was. I was beginning to believe Zack too about the secret societies and such. He explained it to me in a way that at the time I felt suddenly made a lot of sense. He started asking me questions I had never been asked before. I don't remember it all, but he asked me if I had ever felt like people had intentionally been monitoring me and systematically knocking me down whenever I was at my most free? Yes. Had it seemed to be something that started as soon as I entered the school that took something away from me before I had even realized I had it? Yes. Did I remember the time before that, when the people I knew were children and were real, before they were brainwashed into mindless duplicates of one another? Yes.

As he asked me these questions, he was painting this tapestry in my mind that made me feel far more certain that nothing that had happened to me was really an accident. There was intention behind the need to brainwash people with television and empty shallow music. They intentionally kept people distracted, or working themselves to death so that they wouldn't stop and question authority. Many people were too far gone to even be reached. As far as Zack could tell, he said that it really was just him and I. Everyone else in the school was gotten, including my friends. He then confided in me that he thought Ava was free too, but she was an annoying and bad person and he just didn't like her very much. I was relieved to hear that. I was afraid he might have liked her, and strangely, even though I considered her to be a friend, I nodded in agreement. I told him that I thought Sarah was still good, and he seemed to make a little space of possibility that Sarah might also be one of us.

He wrote me letters almost every single day. Back then, I couldn't write. I mean, I wrote all the time, but it was in the only way I was emotionally familiar with, like a 'dear diary, … today I saw...' kind of thing. Or I would start off by saying Everyone hates me. I am fat, I am ugly. I used to write letters to Katie, but they were like OH MY GOD KATIE THIS SCHOOL FUCKING SUXXXX!!. This was fine and good for those circumstances, but this was not the time and place for any of these kinds of letters. I needed to not be so self focused. I needed to find a new way of seeing things that wasn't attempting to be something it wasn't but at the same time carried depth. Zack wrote with a strange nihilistic sense that I didn't know how to reach. Lucid pain, drugs and familiarity to song writing and lyrics in general gave him a much better idea of how to write. He wrote a lot of poetry, though I later discovered that he was stealing Pink Floyd and Radiohead lyrics for much of it. I also later realized that he was kind of copying Kurt Cobain's handwriting. But at the time, it seemed purely original, purely inventive and each sentence I would ponder on as deeply as a I could. And yet my mind simply wouldn't go where I wanted it to. And it was so frustrating. I wanted to write him back, and give him the letter he would deserve from me. But it just wasn't happening.

PART 34 - http://tinyurl.com/yc6y4p69

PART 33 - http://tinyurl.com/y87449dz

PART 32 - http://tinyurl.com/ycetanep

PART 31 - http://tinyurl.com/yae3o4rd

PART 30 - http://tinyurl.com/ybht9aul

PART 29 - http://tinyurl.com/ybfcr9j2

PART 28 - http://tinyurl.com/yagdlo47

PART 27 - http://tinyurl.com/ydcj5fgf

PART 26 - http://tinyurl.com/y73nvl73

PART 25 -  http://tinyurl.com/y6v6pgoj

PART 24 - http://tinyurl.com/ycak5d8r

PART 23 - http://tinyurl.com/yac6sk3g

PART 22 -  http://tinyurl.com/yat6cfnw

PART 21 -  http://tinyurl.com/y783egno

PART 20 - http://tinyurl.com/y8jskymt

PART 19 - http://tinyurl.com/rfhbms8

PART 18 - http://tinyurl.com/ycrznrwk

PART 17 - http://tinyurl.com/y77unlng

PART 16 - http://tinyurl.com/yadpsv8c

PART 15 - http://tinyurl.com/yb3lt6k5

PART 14 - http://tinyurl.com/yb4cfedq

PART 13 - http://tinyurl.com/yalanq9s

PART 12 - http://tinyurl.com/yc79mw94

PART 11 - http://tinyurl.com/yc9qhj84

PART 10 - http://tinyurl.com/yb734w24

PART 9 - http://tinyurl.com/yc2t6vfw  

PART 8 - http://tinyurl.com/ybl37utq

PART 7 - http://tinyurl.com/ybvo283g

PART 6 - http://tinyurl.com/kbc9dwu

PART 5 - http://tinyurl.com/msnz4am

PART 4 - http://tinyurl.com/k9x8esg

PART 3 - http://tinyurl.com/mwp9atx

PART 2 - http://tinyurl.com/lbt6xq2

PART 1 - http://tinyurl.com/l8xbvg8

#text

[jibootaes]

scorpius malfoy with long hair

1. Over the summer break after second year, Scorpius decides to let his hair grow longer than he usually does, denying his father’s frankly listless attempts at trying to cut it.

2. Albus doesn’t see Scorpius much that summer, only a day here and there, and during those days  Scorpius tries to hide his hair from Albus so he can surprise him at the start of third year.

3. Cue the start of third year, Scorpius has let his hair grow so that’s it’s now just below his ear, and it’s silky and soft and it gets tangled easily and Scorpius is sure Albus will love it.

4. What Scorpius doesn’t foresee is how much Albus will love it. Scorpius spots Albus a bit away on Platform 9 ¾, and excitedly lowers the hood of his muggle hoodie, pushing through the bustling crowd to get to Albus and tap him gently on the shoulder.

5. Albus turns around, and Scorpius braces himself for Albus’s wide eyed appreciation and smiling mouth, but he gets more than that. When Albus turns and sees Scorpius and his new hair, he literally jumps back in surprise, almost knocking over someone’s trolley. His green eyes are the size of saucers, his hands covering his mouth. Scorpius tries to take this reaction in a positive way, spreading his arms and grinning, “Hey Albus! Did you miss me?" 

6. Albus just slowly takes his hands away from his mouth and whispers, "what did you do to your hair?”

7. Scorpius explains he let it grow out over the summer. Albus tentatively reaches forward to take a a couple of silvery blonde strands between his fingers, his mouth open in awe, his eyes now sparkling. “It’s beautiful,” Albus breaths, seemingly caught up in the way the weak September sunlight hit Scorpius’s hair and made it shimmer against his neck. 

8. Scorpius, not expecting this reaction, feels himself blush a deep red and turns quickly away from Albus, pulling the hood of his jumper quickly over his head again to hide his face. 

9. During the whole train ride after that Albus is just staring at Scorpius’s hair in wonderment, running his fingers through it almost like he can’t help it. During this Scorpius’s face is going to melt it’s so hot, and Rose decided to just leave them two dorks to it, leaving the compartment with a sly smile at Scorpius, who chokes slightly when Albus’s nails scratch gently along his scalp.

10. Albus can’t even stop himself at the start of the year feast, keeping a stroking hand at the nape of Scorpius’s neck, his fingers continually running through the strands. Of course everyone notices, number one because, damn Albus can you not? And number two because damn Scorpius can you not?? 

11. Even though he looks absolutely beautiful, Scorpius becomes the butt of many bully’s jokes, ranging from “hey trying to pretend to be a girl so Potter can finally like you??” to “oh following in daddy’s footsteps are we? i always knew you were evil, Malfoy.”

12. Of course, Albus hears most of the jabs and gets so angry at every single one of them, shouting and sometimes even sending curses at every single person who even dares to even look at Scorpius the wrong way. This lands him in a lot of detention, which Scorpius attends too, out of love for Albus defending him but also anger at it. He pesters Albus during these detentions to stop his outbursts, that he can "fend for himself”. Albus always agrees wholeheartedly, more so watching Scorpius’s mouth and they way it shapes words then what Scorpius is actually saying. 

13. Even though Scorpius says he’s okay, sometimes the jokes and the jibes get to him and one night Albus finds the blonde crying in the Slytherin common room, his wand pointed at his hair and a mirror in front of him, ready to chop. Albus rushes over to him and snatches the wand out of his hand, and Scorpius just turns and continues sobbing into Albus’s chest, clinging to the black-haired boy’s shirt with shaking hands. The rest of the Slytherin house find the two in the morning curled up on a couch together, Scorpius’s tear-stained face nuzzled into Albus’s neck and Albus’s hands curled around Scorpius’s head protectively. No one says a thing.

14. Near the end of third year, Scorpius’s hair has grown out just past the line of his shoulders and Albus had never felt more happy. Scorpius has taken to twist his hair up and stick a quill in it to make it stay, and he always runs his fingers through the hair that falls across his forehead when he’s nervous or stressed. 

15. Sometimes in class, when Scorpius has his hair down, Albus can’t stop himself from just reaching over and running his hands through it, twisting it around his fingers and making tiny cute braids in it that Scorpius pretends to hate but secretly loves and leaves in the for the rest of the day. This leads to a lot of teachers reprimanding Albus, and it even comes to Professor McGonagall calling Scorpius in after class and gently requesting him to keep his hair tied up during lessons, so that he won’t “intervene with other students learning”. Scorpius just smiles weakly at her and walks out of the classroom.

16.  So Scorpius does, pulling it up with either a spare bobbin he steals from Rose or one of Albus’s skinny neck ties that Ginny bought the black-haired boy for Christmas, twisting if around and around and leaving the ends dangling so it looks pretty and delicate. This actually just distracts Albus more, because all he can think about when he sees Scorpius with the tie in his hair is that’s my tie on his hair my tie on hIS HAIR???!! By this time most of the teachers have just given up giving out to Albus for fiddling with Scorpius’s hair. All McGonagall does is roll her eyes.

17. And then it’s the summer again and Albus insists on having Scorpius over for the whole summer, and somehow, Draco agrees to this. That summer basically consists of Albus coaxing Scorpius to put his head in his lap so he can play with and braid his hair. Scorpius tries to sound exasperated but everyone knows (including Albus) that he loves it.

18. Ginny finds them one night curled up together in the garden, Scorpius’s head on Albus’s stomach and Albus’s hands just stroking ever part of Scorpius they can reach, including his face, his arms, his neck, his chest, his stomach, his hair. Scorpius has his hands gently grasping at Albus’s own when they’re wandering over his skin, trying to keep them still so he can feel Albus’s warmth. They whisper to each other what they want to do at Hogwarts next year and what new sweets are coming into Honeydukes and how Scorpius just has to try them. Ginny smiles to herself, quietly calling for Harry. The two parents watch in gentle awe, Ginny beginning to beam when she sees Scorpius turn his head to nuzzle his nose into Albus’s stomach when the black-haired boy makes a particularly stupid joke. Harry grins too, guiding Ginny away after a while, knowing the boys wouldn’t like it if they knew they were being watched.

19. All Ginny does that night is smile, unable to sleep because her son has someone that he loves so much and she’s gonna tear up because she’s so happy he’s happy and oh my merlin Harry isn’t it just so wonderful??? Harry agrees gently with his wife, smiling to himself because merlin’s beard he loves his family. 

20. It’s the morning everyone goes back to Hogwarts and Scorpius doesn’t know what to do with his hair because it’s getting scarily long now and wtf does he do with all this tangle???? And suddenly Lily appears out of nowhere and grabs Scorpius by the hand and drags him over to a chair and sits him down, walking around so he has his back to her. “I’m gonna braid your hair, Scorp,” she says cheerily, already working at his hair with nimble fingers. “’M sure Al will love it. You don’t mind if I twist in some glittery ribbon too? It’ll go beautifully with your colouring!” This is the first time Lily and Scorpius have actually spent alone together besides small chats in the corridor when they’re passing each other and knowing smiles across the kitchen table when Albus makes a particularly bad joke, so Scorpius lets her, enjoying the way it feels when she gently pats his head, whispering “you look wonderful, Scorpius.” Scorpius then decided that he loves Albus’s family.

21. Then they’re on the platform and the Hogwarts Express is whistling and Scorpius is hauling his suitcase down the corridor of the train and he passes a compartment of first years who actually stop to just stare. Scorpius notices, of course he does, and he smiles, sliding the compartment door open and sticking his head in. “Are you all okay?” he asks gently, trying to make his voice as open as possible as to not scare the dazed looking eleven year olds. A girl, who herself has a short pixie cut, stutters slightly “y-your hair.” Scorpius grins, grabbing at the end of his braid and tugging at his hair, letting the golden sparkly ribbon that Lily added to it hit the simmering light of the compartment, making it shine brightly. “What about it?” he says, smiling down at the girl. “It’s- it’s long,” she whispers in wonderment, “and you’re a boy.” This widens Scorpius’s smile, and he abandons his trunk for a moment to sit down on the seat next to the smaller girl. “You’re a girl and you have short hair. What’s to say I can’t have long?" 

22. The girl’s expression quickly turns horrified as she stumbles out, "oh- oh no I wasn’t saying it was bad I was saying that it was good like great and amazing and I really like it and um- why are you laughing?” Scorpius explains that he wasn’t laughing at her, and how he thinks it’s amazing that’s she has short hair and how maybe they can be the mismatched duo and they girl just lights up, her eyes sparkling with quick adoration as she looks at Scorpius. “What’s your name?” she says, her words hushed. Scorpius grins. “My name’s Scorpius. How about you?” The little girl’s smile could light up the whole of Hogwarts. “Sam,” she whispers.

23. Sam gets sorted into Slytherin and when she’s sees Scorpius sitting at the table, Albus quietly keeping a protective arm around him, she almost cheers because there’s Scorpius!!! Oo wait who’s that next to him??? Scorpius grins a sparkling grin at her then and motions for her to sit down next to him at the table. All of the Slytherins stare as she does, still clapping about her arrival. Once she’s seated, Scorpius immediately introduces her to Albus, who he had already told about the train incident. 

24. Albus becomes immediate best friends with the girl too, and Scorpius just looks between the two of them fondly as they talk across him animatedly, Albus occasionally sticking Scorpius with his fork because he’s so enthusiastic for this new human being. Scorpius doesn’t mind one bit. 

25. It’s a couple of months later and Scorpius is getting properly worried because his hair is growing so fast??????? It’s nearly down to the middle of his back and he’s silently freaking out with it one morning, twisting it and pulling it and braiding and then re braiding it until his scalp actually HURTS and that’s when Albus wakes up and is like “Scorp just leave it down? It’s beautiful? Please? You’re an actual angel I swear?” And Scorpius is just there bLUSHING and he decides to leave it down for the day.

26. And by golly was that a good idea. By the end of the day he’s made about twenty new first year friends who just adore him and it shocks all the older students cause how tf is that weirdo???? doing that????? And Albus is just there beside Scorpius and all his lil followers with the BIGGEST smile on his face and a casual hand on the small of Scorpius’s back like yes this angel is mine he’s mine you can all just dream of being like him you prats

27. That night Albus steels himself and then quickly scrambles his way from his bed into Scorpius’s. When he opens the curtains and peaks in, Scorpius is there, sitting cross legged, running a brush through his hair. Albus nearly doesn’t want to disturb him now, but Scorpius sees him and smiles, reaching out a hand to gesture him in. “Would you brush my hair, Al?” And Albus just nearly DIES and is like “psh okay yeah alright I’ll do that yup ok”

28. This ends up with Albus lying down with Scorpius on his bed, face to face, heads pillowed on hands and Albus fingers sifting through Scorpius’s newly untangled locks. This position isn’t new to them, after ending up like this most summer nights before school started, with stars in Scorp’s tired eyes and wonder in Al’s ones. But for some reason this time feels different and Albus’s breath speeds up as he feels Scorpius’s hand sliding up his chest to rest at the crook of his neck, fingers gentle but searching somehow.

29. Albus finds himself blurting out “I love you, Scorpius” and then he’s sO red and fuck fuck fuck but Scorp just smiles gently, the fingers on Albus’s neck massaging small circles. “I know Al, I love you too,” he says, and Albus is pretty sure Scorp didn’t realise what he just said, what he meant by it. “No, Scorp,” he murmurs, looking down because Scorpius’s silver eyes are too beautiful and he can’t do this he can’t but he has to and- “I love you. I love you.”

30. And Scorpius is confused for a moment because yeah?? he knows?? But then he sees Albus’s face turning a dark shade even in the dim light and his heart suddenly squeezes in his chest and his body is tingling because he understands he understands he knows oh my god Al I love you too!! But that doesn’t come out because he suddenly realises the position they’re in, noses almost touching, Albus’s hand in his hair and his fingers running down Albus’s neck and he doesn’t think he just acts and pushes forward to press his lips clumsily into his best friend’s

31. Time stops for a moment and all Scorpius can feel is warm, slightly chapped lips unmoving against his own and Albus’s sharp intake of breath and he thinks he’s fucked up and gotten it wrong and shit he’s never been good at reading signals and he’s really done himself in now but then mere seconds later Al is responding, his hand sliding further into Scorp’s hair so he can pull him closer, lips pressing back shakily and Scorp lets his eyes close and he falls into Albus, hand going completely around his neck, pushing up against the other boy.

32. And oh this is so good, so safe because Scorpius realises in that moment, that press of mouth on mouth, that Albus is all he’s ever wanted and that he’s his home. So when Albus finally pulls back slightly to let out a wavering breath, there are big, heavy, happy tears in Scorp’s eyes that he can’t let out just yet because he knows that they will freak out his best friend.

33. “S-scorp,” Al whispers, eyes wide as saucers, lips tingling and brain almost numb and oh my god he just kissed me he just?? I just kissed Scorpius? Scorp? My Scorp?? “What- I’m- I don’t-” and then he’s being shut up by another quick press of lips and Scorpius’s breath washing over his face as he snorts shakily, his eyelashes fluttering like they do when he’s nervous.

34. Albus takes all these little details in, along with how soft and warm and just fucking nice Scorp’s lips feel against his. So he goes in again just as Scorpius is about to speak, and then it’s a game of who can shut the other up faster with sweet, tentative pecks and Al feels Scorp’s hand slide down to rest at the base of his throat where he curls it around the neck of his shirt, tugging slightly. “Let me- let me talk, Al,” Scorpius gasps, his fingers curling tighter. “Let me- please.”

35. Albus is still struck dumb so he finds himself staring, something bubbling up in his chest as Scorp struggles for words. “I- oh my god Al, just, I love you too, you idiot.”

36. “Scorp, I don’t want you to do this just because I said it first-” “Dear god you are a dolt, aren’t you, Potter? Just kiss me again please.”

37. Skip to fifth year and Scorpius Malfoy and Albus Potter are the cutest couple in hogwarts, and Albus has an undercut to compliment his boyfriend’s hair which now reaches past his waist. Albus likes to spell flowers into it. Scorpius is just really in love. 

(apologies for any spelling mistakes or just mistakes in general! hope you enjoyed!)

#scorbus #scorpius malfoy #albus potter #harry potter #ginny weasley #rose weasley #lily potter #harry potter next gen #the cursed child #hogwarts #text #mine #oneshot #scorbus fanfiction

[marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer]

MTVS Epic Rewatch #160

BTVS 6x10 Wrecked

Stray Thoughts

1) To me, “Wrecked” is “Dead Man’s Party”/”Empty Places” levels of uncomfortable to watch. It’s worse than a train wreck because you’re not morbidly compelled to watch in spite of yourself. I had to will myself to watch this, that’s how dreadful it was for me. Even more so because I find it hard to buy the parallels the writers were so eager to draw between Willow’s and Buffy’s predicament. Yes, Buffy and Willow are far removed from the characters we grew to love in the early seasons. Willow is hooked on magic, smug and reckless. Buffy is depressed, detached and apathetic. The difference is, Willow has found herself on a path she chose for herself (the writers suddenly deciding to equate magic with drugs does not negate the fact that Willow came to magic of her own volition and that the show had not treated magic as a drug prior to this season...), while Buffy is trying to deal with the wreckage of a situation that was thrust upon her without her consent (by none other than Willow...) Moreover, Willow’s abuse of magic and recklessness have tangible repercussions on those around her. It’s not even that her friends might suffer collateral damage, she had been actively using magic to manipulate and abuse them. Buffy’s “drug”, on the other hand, is Spike. While her relationship with him was definitely unhealthy, she wasn’t hurting anyone other than probably herself and Spike (although that’s not the reason why by the end of the episode she chose to stay away from him - sparing his feelings wasn’t her priority, she was trying to protect her friends ¿?) I think there’s a big difference between “My friends won’t like/will disapprove of what I’m doing with my life [the person I’m banging]” and “I am emotionally and physically hurting my friends with what I’m doing with my life [abusing magic]”

So, while I can understand why Buffy is reluctant to continue her affair with Spike (and tbh even as a Spuffy shipper I wish she would’ve drawn the line here), her sleeping with Spike is hardly equivalent to Willow’s abuse of magic in terms of the consequences for those around them. 

Okay, long introduction over. I just had to get that off my chest before it had been nagging at me since I finished the episode. 

2) 

BUFFY: When... When did the building fall down? SPIKE: I don't know. Must have been sometime between the first time and the, uh...

3) 

SPIKE: I just don't see why you have to run off so quick. Thought we could...

BUFFY: Not gonna happen. Last night was the end of this freak show.

SPIKE: Don't say that.

BUFFY: What did you think was gonna happen? What, we're gonna read the newspaper together, play footsie under the rubble?

Buffy wasn’t really tactful, but she was making a good point. 

4) Of course, even if she didn’t picture babies and a house in the suburbs with Spike, she does enjoy fooling around with him. And I get it, girl. It doesn’t last too long, though, because Spike being Spike he had to be all gross and...

SPIKE: I knew. I knew the only thing better than killing a slayer would be f... BUFFY: What?!

That sets her off, and she quickly dismisses his theory that she’s a vampire groupie by setting Angel apart from him and calling Spike “convenient”. 

And while that’s true, I don’t think it was only about “convenience”. If she only needed to have sex with someone, she could’ve tried and find someone else. Someone she wasn’t supposedly disgusted by. Or a dildo, which is far less problematic and occasionally far more efficient, lbr. And while Spike was convenient in the sense that A) he was there, and B) he was following her around like a puppy and declaring his love at every turn, Buffy wouldn’t have slept with him if she hadn’t been attracted/turned-on by him, you know?

5) OMG, Tara reverts to stuttering when Willow shows up with Amy, that’s how much it hurt her to think that Willow was already dating someone else. 

And then Willow tries to set her straight by explaining it was Amy the Rat but instead of making things better, she makes everything a million times worse because that’s how Tara knows she hasn’t quit doing magic. And if there was something more hurtful than Willow dating someone, it was Willow doing magic in spite of the fact that was the reason Tara had left her. I think Tara definitely feels like Willow cared more about magic than she did about her, you know?

6) 

DAWN: You should rest. You're beat from monster-wrestling all night.

7) I know I’ve called Willow lazy before, but in all fairness, I would totally use magic to try and shut the curtains while I’m curled up in bed. Except Willow was all drained out of magic because of the previous night. See? That’s what happens when you go on a magic-binge: there’s none left for the important stuff like shutting the curtains without leaving the warm of your bed.

8) I believe this theory 100%

XANDER: Anya has a theory. She thinks that Martha Stewart froze that guy. ANYA: Don't be ridiculous. Martha Stewart isn't a demon. She's a witch. XANDER: Please, she... Really? ANYA: Of course. Nobody could do that much decoupage without calling on the powers of darkness.

9) See 1) above. Buffy tries to defend Willow because she’s seeing herself reflected in Xander’s and Anya’s comments, but the difference is, Willow’s actions were hurting others (as well as herself.)

BUFFY: She's just... helping Amy through a transition. XANDER: And making herself a playmate to do magic with. Someone who won't monitor her like Tara. BUFFY: No, Willow's a grown-up. You know, maybe she doesn't need to be monitored. You know, she's going through something, but we're not her. I mean ... m-maybe she has reasons for acting this way. And, so what if she crossed a line? You know, we all do stuff. Stupid stuff. But, then we learn. And, and we learn, and, and we don't do it again. Okay, so, you know, who are we to get all judgey?

XANDER: Not judgey, Buff. Just, observey. ANYA: Yeah, all we're saying is, she's acting different. You know, she's not herself.

10) Considering Amy had been a rat for over three years, that means she had been visiting Rack while she was a teenager... which is super creepy for all sorts of reasons but especially the one below...

11) If you read the whole Rack scenes in terms of the magic=drugs metaphor, Amy and Willow were basically prostituting themselves for drugs/magic...

RACK: Amy said. Amy said I could help you. But did Amy say how you could help me?

WILLOW: No, I-I have some money, a-a bit-

RACK: Not money.

WILLOW: Well, I could help you with your computer, I'm really handy-

RACK: Just relax, I'm not gonna hurt you. You gotta give a little to get a little, right?

AMY: It's okay. It's over fast.

RACK: That's right. I'm just gonna take a little tour.

Yikes, show. Y I K E S.

12) This scene is Trainspotting levels of creepy/scary...

13) This is so sad...

14) I love the running joke about how slaying makes you hungry... and horny...

DAWN: I'll leave a note for Buffy on the refrigerator. That's the first place she goes after patrolling. She's such a pig after she kills things.

15) This show is usually so good when it comes to writing metaphors into the narrative. I mean, the metaphors are not exactly subtle (like Angel losing his soul and ditching Buffy after having sex with her...) but they aren’t heavy-handed either. Except for the magic=drugs metaphor. I usually pride myself in saying that BTVS is a show that doesn’t underestimate its viewers’ intelligence, but let’s be real, the writers must’ve thought we were a bunch of dimwits if they thought they had to go this far to hammer the metaphor into us. I mean...

16) Oh, Dawnie! There’s nothing wrong with a meat party in your mouth, as long as you are of age and consent to it ;)

WILLOW: So, the burger was good? You liked it? DAWN: Are you kidding? It was like a meat party in my mouth. Okay, now I'm just a kid, and even *I* know that came out wrong.

17) Willow starts asking Dawn questions about Tara, like if she was sad or if she had mentioned Willow in their conversation. (which was kind of shitty in itself - I mean, you shouldn’t bring a 15-year-old girl into your relationship drama, you know? even if said girl has shown approval of your relationship and wants you to get back together with your ex...) And in my mind I was like: “Oh, okay, so this must be when she makes the decision to go to Rack’s, because talking about Tara triggered her and she needed the palliative.” Like, I could almost understand why she needed the magic/drugs. But then Dawn notices they have been walking down the wrong path for a while, which means that Willow was set on visiting Rack - and dragging Dawn along - before bringing Tara up. So, uncool all around. 

18) 

DAWN: Well, what about the movie? It starts at nine.

WILLOW: We'll make it. I, I'll just be a minute. And it doesn't matter if we miss the trailers.

DAWN: I like the trailers.

So do I, Dawn :(

19) OH MY GOD, SHOW, WE GET IT! MAGIC = DRUGS!! 

20) I’m both Buffy and Spike, tbh.

BUFFY: Last night... was the most perverse... degrading experience of my life. SPIKE: Yeah. Me too.

21) Even as Buffy continues to claim she’s disgusted by Spike and herself for agreeing to have sex with him, she’s really not as adamant as she used to be when actual feelings - his or her own - were brought up in their conversations. Like, when he tells her that she knows he loves her, she doesn’t refute this statement as she would’ve done before (”you’re in love with pain” “you don’t know what feelings are”.) Moreover, when Spike argues that their night together made her feel something, she quietly tells him: “Not love” instead of dismissing the idea of feeling something for him altogether. 

22) So, the super witch runs into ther magic-created monster, and she can’t do shit to fend him off? It’s the meek 15-year-old girl who has to do it.

And like 5 seconds after being scared shittless, she’s playing Mario Kart with the car she hijacked and laughing it off, not paying attention to the girl sitting next to her who is rightfully terrified and screaming in fear?

See? This is what I mean when I say Willow thought she was almighty. She honestly believed she could do no wrong. Even in a situation in which has clearly fucked up, she still believes she’s going to get her way. And yes, I get she was highor whatever, but this still was Willow only heightened.

23) ugh this scene is so difficult to watch, but damn did she have it coming...

(the screenshot makes it look kind of hilarious, though, but it’s so uncomfortable to watch)

24) But then Willow breaks down and it’s hard not to feel for her because we can tell she’s truly sorry. And this is why I love Buffy so damn much...

In spite of what Willow had put Dawn through and in spite of her own anger at her friend, Buffy still understands that Willow needs her, and so she casts her own feelings aside and finds it in her to comfort and help her. This is why she’s a hero - her never-ending forgiveness and selflessness.

25) Okay, this is why I believe Willow didn’t need a trigger (Tara’s death) to go dark...

WILLOW: I don't know. The magic, I... I thought I had it under control, and then... I didn't. (...) But I mean... if you could be... you know, plain old Willow or super Willow, who would you be? (...)

BUFFY: Will, there's nothing wrong with you. You don't need magic to be special.

WILLOW: Don't I? I mean, Buffy, who was I? Just... some girl. Tara didn't even know that girl.

Tell me if this doesn’t have “supervillain origin story” written all over it. 

26) “It’s over.”

Easier said than done, isn’t it?

#Buffy the Vampire Slayer #BTVS #Buffy Summers #Willow Rosenberg #Joss Whedon #MTVSepicrewatch #BTVSrewatch2015 #Spike #Spuffy #mine #recap #Wrecked #btvsrecap

[fishfynns]

Icarus got his powers when he was 9 years old. The day his family died- or, maybe, not all of his family. But they left him, and he doesn’t know if he wants them to be alive- but that’s not the point. He discovered his powers- his magic, specifically, at age nine. At first he was just panicking- a group of mage hands flitting around, mangled and disfigured, trying to do something. But mage hand is a weak cantrip, and can only do so much. 

He only managed to move a sack of flour away from him when it collapsed on his body. When he came face to face with reality his magic burst, and he felt an explosion come from him- a burst of pure, arcane magic pulling from inside him. The feeling of fire in veins and breathe and mind and eyes and filling him from top down- it might have been exhilarating. It could’ve been addicting. It could have been amazing. 

Icarus hates it. 

Every time he uses his magic, the same feeling fills his veins. The warmth spreading through his fingertips and onto his quarterstaff, the feeling of just pure magic diluting itself through his spells. But he still hates it. He refused to learn it, for the first two years he was by himself. 

But when he was eleven, a band of slavers arrived, and Icarus had to fend for himself. He doesn’t remember what happened- only that he was cornered by a group of men with smiles that were too sharp and eyes that glinted with something disgusting, and then he woke up, in the middle of a blast that left him feeling burnt out and spent for the next three days. 

(Later, he would learn what sorcery points are, and curse himself for using them at the age of eleven.)

When he was twenty, he took up working at odd jobs- but he doesn’t dare leave the island. He’s scared of what would happen if he did- and besides, no one else comes or goes frequently enough for him to plan for it. The money is meager, but he’s able to find shelter- most of the time, anyways. During the winter months, sometimes he’ll travel back to his old home. Sometimes he won’t. 

At age fifty nine, fifty years later, he realizes, he does not want to stay here. But no one comes or goes often enough for him to leave, and so he has to take matters into his own hands. Maybe fifty-nine is too young for an elf to be alone, maybe he should stay, but he can’t. So he learns. And he hones his magic- less magical outbursts, if he can help it. Someone trades him a journal and an inkwell that doesn’t run out of ink if you put regular water into it, and he finds a good enough to quill to write in, and he writes. 

Icarus writes what he can remember, up until he’s ninety-ninety and realizes that it’s been almost 90 years and still, no one has come back to him, and so he resolves himself to learn more magic, and to leave. 

He writes and writes. Sometimes to himself, sometimes to someone else. He’s not sure who, but Icarus thinks that if someone were to find his journal, maybe they would understand. 

When a group of adventurers die- leaving only two alive, a human and an elf on the island, he hears them leaving. He knows who killed them, and had watched the black dragon fly off. He followed them, and only revealed himself when the elf caught him. He kept himself distant, at first- but found that the human was enjoyable to be around, at least. 

So of course, of course when they end up in jail for a stupid reason, he takes her along. Even when she doesn’t speak, even when she’s distant and somewhere else, he takes her along. He makes sure she eats and that she drinks something, takes care of her. The days that she is present, when she’s snarking back to him, when she’s taking care of herself and taking care of Icarus- those days count to him. 

When Lucan and 27 join, and eventually fucking Gerald, he’s hesitant at first. What he has with Thunder is good, already, but with those three added in, it makes him feel- whole. Warm, from the top down, and filled with a peace that settles into Icarus’s heart. It settles his magic, almost. When he realizes that Thunder is about to die, and that Gerald is going to get hurt, he grabs the wrong thing, and screams- except, it masterfully weaves itself around his friends, and they resolve to just leave. 

When he enters Gilmore’s shop, and he offers up “silk rope” he blushes, not because of the idea, because his instant thought is if Thunder would like that. And then the thought of thinking of her like that makes his blush even worse. But then he thinks back to the black dragon, back to when he first met her, and then thinks back to Charmilla, and Lucan, and 27, and Gerald, and thinks- he doesn’t want them to get hurt. He’ll do anything to make sure they aren’t hurt. 

(He writes about them in his journal- all of the things that make him smile, that make him want to strangle them, their unique quirks and personalities. He writes about Lucan’s smile and cold look when he talks about his family, the silent yet talkative 27, Gerald’s weirdness and ability to uncle all of them into a cohesive team, and he writes.)

(He writes about Thunder the most.)

When he goes back to Gilmore’s, he feels a tug on the back of his mind when he stares at the swirling purple magic on the demigods hand. The weight of the decision hits him all at once, and the understood consequences, and he pulls himself back. He goes home, buys mattresses, at least, for him, Lucan, and Thunder, and goes back to find his home a mess with dogs a birdman yelling at one of them, and he smiles. He’s filled with the same warmth from the top down, filling out to his fingertips, and he buzzes with the idea of having a familiar. So back to Gilmores, he grabs the scroll, and he has his own little Familiar. Her name is Hestia, he decides, and Icarus decides that no matter what, he would defend her.

But at night, when in the middle of trancing, he flashes back to that night, that day, and feels the warmth leave. It’s a different kind of warmth, now. It fills him with dread and anxiety and hurt-

and rage.

So when he wakes up mid-trance, he goes downstairs, and bakes. And bakes. And bakes. He writes, too- what goes well with what, different proving times, the ingredients he needs to stock up on next time, and just how much they have left. It’s mostly cake, because everyone likes cake, and a fuckton of bread. Because kneading bread is therapeutic. (He wrote down that conversation from when he was 8, with Apollo and Apollonia teaching him how to make bread when Castor pushed him into the ocean.)

When Thunder enters the kitchen, and he is blown away, again, by how silent she is. How silent, yet caring. She took a glance at him, and he made up his mind, then and there. He didn’t care how much it cost- there had to be something that bastard would want. So he takes Thunder with him.

He doesn’t flinch when she yells, “What the hell did you just do, Icarus?!” 

he just replies with, “I’m tired. I’ll tell you after I take a nap, okay?”

She lets him nap. 

#there's #hm #that's a lot more than I was expecting to write #character study/ #Icarus