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molsno · 1 year

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I don't think there's enough discussion of the transmisogynistic voyeurism that's extremely widespread in online spaces. it's definitely a problem offline too but it's become significantly more pervasive and inescapable online.

transmisogynistic voyeurism is an obsession with trans women's internal lives. while traditionally it's usually been focused on our bodies, hormones, sexualities, transitions, and other such aspects that portray us as exotic, artificial, hypersexual mimics of "real" women (this is still largely the case among conservatives), it's taken on a new form in the past several years as society's understanding of transness has slowly improved.

in more recent years, the fascination with trans women and transfemininity, particularly in purportedly progressive spaces, has shifted to focus on the "artificiality" of our womanhood from a sociocultural perspective, rather than from a biological and sexual perspective.

it's become common to see screenshots from 4chan and other similar communities of trans women or transfem eggs posting about their unusual kinks, often with racist or antisemitic undertones. screenshots of ostensibly closeted trans women being transphobic to openly trans people have become commonplace. whenever a trans woman is revealed to be racist or a sexual predator, she becomes the new topic du jour, where everyone has to weigh in and publicly disavow her actions.

you might be thinking, what's the problem with this? after all, shouldn't we be holding racists, antisemites, transphobes, and sexual predators accountable? and while the answer to that question is an unambiguous, resounding "yes!", the problem here is the unusual focus on trans women in particular, and the fact that what's happening doesn't even remotely resemble accountability.

bigotry is not a uniquely transfeminine trait. anyone can be a bigot. however, by and large, even supposed trans allies, people who put "trans women are women" and "terfs dni" in their bio, still secretly see trans women as fundamentally male, due to having been "male socialized" (a notion which very strongly contradicts our own lived experiences). thus, when they see post after post after post of trans women being bigoted, it reifies tme people's beliefs that we are all holders of male privilege who have never had to face oppression before coming out as trans.

this idea is problematic for a number of reasons. first, it denies the experiences of trans women who have been oppressed by other systems before coming out as trans. for example, multiple times in just the past few weeks, I've seen trans women of color accused of being racist, even against people of their own race; as if having to face racism all their lives wasn't bad enough, now they're assumed to be perpetrators of it. however, this idea also ignores the very real effect that transmisogyny has had in shaping our lives, even when we didn't know we were trans ourselves.

when we attempt to talk about this topic - the perception that tme people have of trans women being uniquely bigoted, we are by and large brushed off as seeking to "excuse the actions" of bigoted trans women so that we can be bigoted ourselves. this abject refusal to actually engage with what we are saying to instead paint us as the very people we're constantly made to publicly disavow lest we face social ostracization (even if we have no idea who said people even are) further reifies the stereotype of us as privileged men.

I want you to imagine for a moment if trans men were subjected to this kind of voyeurism instead. on an average day scrolling through tumblr, you'd see a post of a trans man's nsfw blog where he shares posts about how rape should be legal, right alongside his bloodplay and cannibalism kink posts, accusing trans men of normalizing rape and murder. another post would show a screenshot of the trans guy who proclaimed to have been hitler in a past life, accompanied by comments demanding trans men take responsibility by purging their community of people like him. you'd scroll down a little further and see a screenshot of a terf blog with "dysphoric female" in bio where they complain about how a trans man they know has been brainwashed by "gender ideology" with all of the comments hoping they figure out their gender identity but still vehemently disavowing them and asserting they would feel unsafe around such a person even after coming out.

the reason that doesn't happen is because biological essentialism runs rampant even in queer spaces. trans men, who were afab, are often presumed to be incapable of harm due to having been "female socialized". trans men don't have their kinks publicly shared to paint them as dangerous because they're generally assumed to be victims of sexual violence, not perpetrators. trans men aren't collectively held accountable for the actions of one trans man they don't even know because a trans man doing harm is believed to be an anomaly, and thus can be dealt with on an individual basis. that last example is especially laughable, because trans men who were formerly terfs are often lauded as heroes for sharing their stories and offered condolences for having been victims of "cult brainwashing".

the fact that this kind of voyeurism does happen to trans women is because, having been amab, we are presumed to be the perpetrators of harm rather than victims. that's not to say that trans women can't be bigoted or dangerous; clearly they can, or else this kind of voyeurism couldn't exist in the first place.

trans women can be racist, trans women can be antisemitic, trans women can be transphobic, trans women can be sexual predators, and so on. these things are all true. however, they are not more likely to be true of trans women than of other demographics. that's the point I'm trying to make here.

stop and consider for a moment, what accountability actually means. are racist, antisemitic trans women being held accountable when you share screenshots of the bigotry they post anonymously on 4chan? does that screenshot you reblogged of an assumed transfem egg being transphobic to an out trans person hold them responsible for their transphobia? is that racist trans woman who's a convicted sexual predator sentenced to prison being held accountable when you share detailed documentaries about her crimes? are they facing consequences for their actions because of you raising awareness about them?

in the vast majority of cases, the answer is no. what's really happening is that you're raising outrage about trans women, and demanding that all of us publicly disavow and distance ourselves from them, even when we have no idea who they are, so that you won't come after us next. you're upholding the idea that trans women hold a "male privilege debt" that we can never fully repay but must endlessly strive to repay regardless. this obsession with our perceived socially male traits has got to stop.

#txt #transmisogyny #my writing #sorry this is so long I know people are gonna take this in the worst faith possible and I had to debunk all their counterpoints in advance #1k

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critter-coded · 4 months

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Reclaiming "Female" Through Therianthropy

This is my submission for the "My Gender is Not Human" zine. Here, I discuss how I realized I was not transgender because of my therianthropy and I hope that maybe someone else may relate and understand themselves in a new way. ♡

If you want to wait to read this until the Zine is released, then do not continue past the "keep reading" portion. Otherwise, enjoy!

PS: If this interests you, I'd strongly advise playing Shelter 2 (where I got the photo below from) as it relates a lot to my own experience.

CW: Body issues, misogyny

Can you imagine the scent of the velvet fuzz of a newborn animal? The experience of a dark den now filled with new life, life that hasn't even opened its eyes yet to the winter world just outside? Can you imagine the tiredness yet sheer love and comfort of having your children welcomed into the world, witnessed only by you and the Earth’s soil?

It's something I often dream of, and it's that very experience that made me realize that I am not transgender. It's funny because in this community, it feels as though the majority of individuals here are transgender and that experience ties closely into their nonhumanity. For me, the opposite occurred. I had a top surgery letter in my hand after years of feeling “not quite right” in my body or in how people perceived me. I had every reason to feel this way and to want this, even if it felt imperfect. Looking back, I remember how I got to this point.

“Be skinnier any way you can, it’ll make you prettier” they’d say as they, themselves, were ironically obese and I loved them no less for it.

“Grow your hair long and change your clothes, you’ll look more like a lady.” A projection rooted in the ideals of someone who reads far too much Jane Austen.

“Women should be subservient and provide endlessly, or they’re selfish.”

Dread set in every time I filled someone’s coffee or plate of food due to expectation or demand and not out of love and kindness. Everytime the topic of how I looked in a dress or how my hair wasn’t as long as someone else wanted. The disappointment of my family when they learned I had dated other women in the past and their relief when I dated one man. The eyerolls and my teacher’s discouragement when I expressed an interest in physics or chemistry. Even my finance degree was achieved through apparent luck despite graduating top of my class. Every “right” I accomplished was met with a “wrong” in some new category. The very things that made men impressive made me disobedient. I starved myself to look a little nicer to strangers, cried in bed after being talked down to at work, slept away all of my sorrows in a curled up ball. Humanity didn’t take kindly to me.

It frustrated me, and combined with my general lack of identity at the time along with diagnosed CPTSD, it was easy to relate to the plight that transgender individuals experienced. Surely that had to be me, but the label and being perceived as something besides female never clicked entirely. I figured that I may just have mild gender dysphoria instead, but for the first time, I really deep dived into what it meant to identify as a gender as everyone was needing urgent, permanent decisions to be made on my end. Around this time, I took on my first mammal label which was a feline. Ironically, cats are often the first animals to be associated with femininity and to be mistreated because of it.

I wanted motherhood, but I wanted my own kittens to rear more than I felt like I wanted to raise a human infant after spending time in a daycare and at a cat shelter. I didn’t want my breasts, but not because I wasn’t a girl, that’s just how other animals are. Perfume was a method to mark the rooms I had been in, not for elegance. I still felt so female, yet I didn’t see another way out besides transitioning until it occurred to me: what if I didn’t have to be a “woman”, and instead, I could simply be female the way animals are female?

There were so many women like me such as in Brave, Princess Mononoke, Poor Things, or Wolf Children. The women who strayed from polite society to walk their own paths and stuck to their own desires. Even my own cat was female and yet held her chin so high and demanded when she would or would not be held. This realization was the first time I found myself feeling feral freedom and uninhibited beauty in the way I was. I was going to be the woman that rolls in the dirt, who is unapologetically beautiful in her own way, who chases after whatever her wild heart desires. I am not transgender, but I am not entirely a woman. I am an animal, and I am female in all of its unbridled ways.

Shedding my domestic cat label, I have taken up the title of bobcat. With it, I swear on my name that I will bite the hand of any who wish to tame or domesticate me ever again. I have been released out of the crate and back into the wilderness where I belong, and I shall never look back down the mountain. I feel the moss beneath my paws, the cold breeze kissing my nose, the smell of rain soaked woods and wildflowers. Ravens cry as I run on four legs towards the peak, released at last from the grips of mankind. I feel the warmth of a life suddenly worth living, growing along with the hair I now reclaim as my own fur without shame or expectation. I am home at the summit of my own world.

My spirit runs wild, and she is female.

#therian #otherkin #therianthropy #therianthrope #adult therian #feline therian

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kurogane2512 · 2 months

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Haloo, Can I get a ninety nine x FEM reader(chief) from ptn? The plot It's like ninety nine found out that some of the sinners are doing seggs with chief and somehow she was curious what chief's face would look like and how she mø@ns so she decided to sneak out of her cell one night and went to chief's office

This was funny and hot to write at the same time and I was confused whether to make it NSFW or not. Also, 99 deserves more content too man I want to see her in lighthearted events and how she's doing after her interro

18+ CONTENT

Game: Path to Nowhere

Characters: Ninety-Nine x fem!reader (Chief)

Type: Smut with plot

The MBCC Cafeteria was buzzing with noise and activity as it was time for dinner, the Sinners assembled and took their seats after a tiring training regime and were already pleasantly digging in their food. Ninety-Nine was seated with Hella and silently ate her portion while Hella chatted away with EMP and others, that's when Ninety-Nine overheard some Sinners on the table beside her talk about a strange topic.

"Hey, who's going to accompany Chief tonight? Yesterday the Countess went, right?" it was Bai Yi who spoke.

"I believe it's your turn tonight, Ms Bai Yi. Unless you are interested to switch?~" a red-haired woman spoke, Ninety-Nine remembered her name was Cabernet.

"Hey, don't take my chance so easily! I have been waiting for so long~"

"So have we all, Ms Bai Yi. Chief had been busy for weeks and we had to stop this.... routine of ours~" the psychologist, Chameleon answered now.

"It was a shame, truly. We should help Chief relax now that she has time again~" Cabernet replied.

Curiosity took over Ninety-Nine as she heard more of the conversation, wondering what this 'routine' was. All of a sudden, Langley walked in near that table and sat down.

"Apologies, Bai Yi. But you'll have to give Chief to me tonight, I have important work to discuss." Langley said.

"That's not fair! I demand compensation for this!" Bai Yi roused, making Langley smirk.

"Oh, don't worry. You'll be given your due rewards~"

Bai Yi hummed in annoyance and accepted the deal. Now Ninety-Nine was even more curious, what was this routine that even Langley, the leader of the 9th Agency, was involved in? After dinner, Ninety-Nine discreetly made her way to your office and as expected, she found Langley inside. She couldn't hear nor see much from the glass opening on the door, but the sight in front caught her by surprise. Langley was all over you, roughly kissing you while pinning you on your table followed by pulling you to the couch and straddling you.

Ninety-Nine leaned in and wished to see better, but the couch was too far away from her view now and all she could see was your legs lying on Langley's shoulders while she rocked her body. She could hear faint sounds of moaning and whimpering and she was sure it was your voice. Ninety-Nine didn't know what to do, it felt like a crime standing there and watching this act unfold. Her body moved on its own and she practically ran back to her cell.

"That was.... the Chief does these things with other Sinners here? Has she also tried with Hella... No, that can't be. Hella would never accept, and I know Chief isn't that kind of person either. Not to mention, it looked like that other woman initiated it first. Everyone else also spoke of it as if they enjoyed it a lot...."

Ninety-Nine felt her body become warmer, her temperature rising unusually as the images of you moaning in pleasure ran through her mind. She pictured how your face may look, and she didn't realize how much she wanted to see you that way now. From then on, she regularly snuck to your office at the same hour and watched a different Sinner come in and have their fun.

She was surprised how many Sinners did this with you, and it looked like all of them had a good time for which they kept coming back. Their conversations during dinnertime also became more vivid and clear as they discussed specific actions they did with you, praising and fawning over your adorable reactions and surprising dominant moments. Ninety-Nine couldn't hold back anymore.

This time, she came to your office before anyone else could.

"Chief, do you have a minute?"

The familiar voice surprised you, "Ah, Ninety-Nine? Is everything okay?"

"Yes, I had... a question."

"Oh okay, sure. Ask away."

"What do you do every night with other Sinners?" Ninety-Nine asked with no hesitation at all, you almost choked on your coffee at her directness.

"W-What do you mean I do with other Sinners?!"

"I heard them talk about you at the cafeteria... and I have been watching you for a few days. Since when did you have this arrangement with them?"

Your face flushed at her statements, they talk about you and Ninety Nine has been spying on you? You wanted to hide in a corner now.

"I-I... I just do it for their own good. Some of them have certain... urges, and I fulfill them." you replied while looking away. Ninety-Nine hummed then stepped closer to you and forcefully pinned you to the wall.

"Do it with me too then." Ninety-Nine's statement came out as a command, an order. Her scarlet eyes gazed into your soul with determination, you knew she was absolutely serious.

"W-Wait, why? Are you having some problems in your body? I will have you treated the correct way, you shouldn't do this just because of others...."

"No... it's not that. I have never experienced such things, I don't know how it feels. But when I heard them talk about you, and heard your voice myself... I wanted it more. I wanted to see you in that state and hear you properly."

Your face flushed in embarrassment, was she talking about hearing you moan? You felt you had no choice. You never expected to do this with Ninety-Nine of all people, but somehow you were drawn to her and wanted to see how she is in that state. You finally agreed and like an animal in heat, Ninety-Nine lunged forward to press her lips to yours. Her movements were rough and erratic, she really had no idea what she was doing but she wanted to devour you.

"Wait wait, Ninety-Nine, slow down...!" you tried to speak in between the kiss and Ninety-Nine stopped in confusion.

"Is this not the way? I saw them do this every time before starting."

"N-No, you aren't wrong but you don't have to be so quick. You first have to set the mood a little and take it easy, shall I show you?"

"....Okay."

Ninety-Nine was calm but you could tell she was slightly nervous too, perhaps even intrigued. You smiled at her then guided her by her wrist to the couch and seated her beside yourself. She looked at you and waited for you to move and do something. You looked at her all over and suddenly felt nervous yourself, you had had sex with so many different people with different experiences but somehow initiating things yourself with someone like Ninety-Nine was challenging.

"Chief, what do I need to do?" Ninety-Nine questioned with sincerity, you could tell she really wanted this. You sighed then shifted closer and gently held her shoulders then leaned forward, slowly and steadily kissing her lips. She had the urge to kiss back roughly just like before but she held back and let you guide her. Your lips were soft to touch and pleasant to feel, she didn't realize how much she wanted this warmness more.

You tilted your head and kissed her deeper, swiping your tongue across her lips and on instinct, she parted her mouth slightly and you took the opportunity to go in. You moved your tongue with hers and passionately kissed her, Ninety-Nine was taken aback by the intimacy. Her body temperature rose like never before, it wasn't anger that was fueling her but something completely different.

"....Mmh~" Ninety-Nine moaned when you pulled back from the kiss, slightly panting as you gazed at her.

"H-How was it...?" you asked.

"....Not bad, I can see what you mean."

You smiled then trailed your gaze over her neck and chest, feeling aroused looking at her exposed skin.

"Do we remove our clothes now?"

"Ah, do you want to continue to that....?"

"Of course, that's what I want."

You nodded then slowly moved your arms around her and removed her top to expose her breasts. She did the same to you and removed your shirt, intently gazing at your naked form which made you slightly embarrassed. Her eyes trailed towards your pants and her hands were already on the move to discard them.

"I want to do what they do with you, Chief."

"....Everyone does different things, they all have different desires and way of doing it. You shouldn't want to follow them. Tell me, what do you want, Ninety-Nine?"

Ninety-Nine was at a loss of words for a while as she pondered deeply then finally spoke, "I.... I want to see you and hear you. I don't know how to do that but.... that's what I want."

"Alright then, is there something your body is telling you to do? Some kind of urge you are getting?"

"I...." Ninety-Nine was breathing hard and gazing at you. As if being controlled by her urges, she pounced on you and pushed you down on the couch then straddled your lap.

"This... I want to do this."

You blushed then cupped her face and pulled her down into a passionate kiss once again. Ninety-Nine was more confident now, her tongue moving impatiently to taste you. Her knee dug into your core making you moan into the kiss, and she only wanted to hear that more. She released the kiss and sat up on your lap then brushed her hand across your core, dipping it past your pants and touching your clit.

You softly gasped and squeezed your thighs together but Ninety-Nine was quick to shove them apart followed by taking off your pants and underwear completely. She looked at your throbbing wet core and felt arousal rising in her own body, her eyes intensely gleaming at the sight.

"I know I have to do it here. But tell me how to."

You nodded and she extended her hand towards your folds, slowly and gently rubbing her fingers on them. She was too focused on how her fingers moved, scared to unintentionally hurt you. Your softly moaned at her ministrations, your sounds making her more eager and she looked up to see you being all hot and aroused.

"Hah.... you are doing it right. Just... try moving here now, mhm~" You guided her hand towards your clit and she grasped the bud then lightly squeezed it, earning a whimper from you.

"Ngh~ Yes.... just.... rub and circle it.... aah.... slowly and easily...."

Ninety-Nine nodded and did as you told, circling your clit with her index finger and thumb followed by gently pressing and pulling it. You threw your head back with a moan, and she was determined to go further. She moved her hand towards your vulva and inserted a finger inside, your eyes widening in ecstacy and your body spasming.

"Aaah! Yes... you can put in 2 fingers... N-Ninety Nine...."

Ninety-Nine nodded and inserted another finger, slowly pushing your walls apart and going in until they were completely hilted inside. It was so warm and wet, she thought. Your walls were clenching her fingers and drenching them in your juices. She then attempted to pull them out and earned another whimper from you.

"Y-Yea...thrust them... you are doing right, aaahn!~"

Ninety-Nine quickly sheathed them inside and hit your sensitive spot, your body arching. She looked up to see your face drowned in absolute pleasure, this is what she wanted. She continued the thrusting movement as you said and she would be lying if she said she didn't enjoy this, it was a different feeling inside her and she wanted it more. She gazed at you exposed neck and suddenly leaned down to kiss your collarbone, her fingers not stopping their movements at all.

"Aaah.... I'm cumming.... keep doing this, Ninety-Nine... mhm~"

She licked up your neck and kissed your jaw on complete instincts, she didn't know what compelled her to but she felt like marking you like an animal. She scissored her fingers and hit all the right spots, her thumb even circling your clit now. You wrapped your arms around her and arched up as you released on her palm, a loud and melodic moan ringing in her ear. She pulled out her fingers and saw them covered in your juices while you panted and came down from your orgasm.

"T-There's tissue.... in the drawer.... haah..."

You pointed to the drawer in your table for her to wipe her hand but to your surprise, she licked up all your release from her fingers. The sight was erotic, to say the least. She was lapping them up like a starved dog, and you couldn't help but wonder how she would eat you out if you made her.

"Hmm.... slightly sweet and sticky. I see why that red-haired woman likes doing this so much."

"R-Red haired woman? Does she mean Cabernet?! Just how much has she seen me with others?!" you thought, bewildered.

"Do you.... want to do more?" Ninety-Nine asked.

"....I don't mind. Let me do it to you now." you said with a smile and Ninety-Nine smiled back as well, a rare smile on her face.

#path to nowhere #ninety nine #ptn #ptn x reader #ptn ninety nine #ninety nine x reader #99 x reader #path to nowhere x reader

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befemininenow · 8 months

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A quick, basic guide towards Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) and its changes for transgender women and other identities

Note: This guide is primarily for transgender women/girls who are looking for gender affirming therapy and resources. However, if any transgender men, non-binary, and other gender identities are reading this, please share this post as you may end up helping someone who is considering transitioning into a woman (or girl). Note that this guide may be uncomfortable to some as I will discuss about topics like gender dysphoria or use a few words that may feel triggering, but never in a transphobic manner. I am trans myself and considering gender affirming therapy. However, my knowledge about this topic is still limited, so please bare with any mistakes that I may end up writing throughout this guide. You are more than welcome to write additional information provided it helps with this guide. Links to sources will be provided at the end of the guide. Use them for more detailed and more accurate information.

Do not use this HRT guide or resources to fulfill some “sissy task” or fetish, nor to harm or discredit trans people.

So, you have tried on the clothing, practiced voice training, applied makeup, etc. You have tried everything you can to “feminize” yourself. But no matter how you look on the outside and feel on the inside, you still see someone different looking at you in the mirror and feel distress to the point where you lose sleep. As much as you hate admitting it, you probably have gender dysphoria. If you’re at this stage, it’s time you start finding gender affirming therapy. The problem is, where do you start?

Diagnosing Gender Dysphoria and recognizing its signs

As I have stated in one of the guides I reblogged in the past, it is not necessary to have gender dysphoria to be transgender. However, many transgender people deal with this distress and it can detrimental to their overall health. For instance, if you’re dressed as a girl and feel like a girl, but you see someone in “drag” looking back or focus on signs of “masculinity”, you will definitely feel uncomfortable and have feelings of “impostor syndrome”.

Some signs of gender dysphoria include, but not limited to, hiding any facial and body hair, dislike towards your “assigned parts”, dysphoric when presenting as a male (or other assigned gender different from preferred identity), etc. If you have more than two of these signs and recognize them, you most likely have gender dysphoria and should start looking for help ASAP. Untreated gender dysphoria can escalate towards more detrimental consequences, such as neglect, isolation, depression, anxiety, and even $ui(ide. If you’re suffering from the latter symptom and are not under any form of care, please stop reading this article and call your nearest lifeline center now!

That being said, if you’re experiencing some signs of gender dysphoria even after socially transitioning and desire to feminize your body, the best solution will be taking hormone replacement therapy.

What is Hormone Replacement Therapy (aka HRT)?

Hormone Replacement Therapy, short for HRT (this, is a type of medical solution given to patients who lack sufficient estrogen or testosterone levels due to a hormonal imbalance caused by menopause or due to surgeries such as a hysterectomy. [1] HRT is also provided to transgender individuals as a way to help their physical body adapt to their gender identity. Known as feminizing hormone therapy, the transitioning person will develop secondary sex characteristics typical of cisgender females with the help of various types of medication. [8] Gender specialists typically (but not always) use gender dysphoria as a main reason to provide the patient with gender affirming therapy.

Why do transgender people take HRT?

The point of HRT is that it helps transgender people develop physical traits that are more in line with their gender identity when the right hormones take place in the body. In the case of transgender females, taking HRT will feminize their physical characteristics into that of of their cisgender female relatives. Not only does transitioning decrease the trigger of gender dysphoria, but it also boosts the mental health of trans people as they become more comfortable with their body aligning into their gender identity. In fact, a study done by a team of researchers based on Stanford University School of Medicine found that the earlier trans people commence their transition, the less likely they are to develop characteristics of their assigned birth gender since their puberty cycles become more active during adolescence. Those who commence transition into adulthood are more likely to fall into bad habits, mental issues, and social isolation. The researchers concluded after finishing of survey of over 20,000 participants that the best treatment towards gender dysphoria is to take HRT as some of the participants felt their livelihood vastly improve once they received hormone therapy. To summarize, HRT is the only effective solution for trans people to finally feel comfortable with their bodies once they develop their gender identity’s characteristics.

The different types of HRT medication

Once you’re deemed eligible to receive gender-affirming therapy, you will definitely want to celebrate your new milestone. Now it’s time to identify the different forms of medication you may be provided for your transition.

Pills: This one is the most common type that is prescribed for transgender people due to its affordable cost and ease to make. However, taking oral medication requires you to take daily as the feminizing effects are slower and less evenly-distributed.

Injections: This one is the most effective form since the hormone medication goes directly to the bloodstream and rarely comes with the side effects of hormone pills. However, it is more expensive to produce and purchase, as well as being the most difficult to ingest as it involves piercing your skin with a needle.

Patches: By far the most convenient and very effective method of hormone medication as it fluctuates less in hormone distribution and evens it out throughout the body. You are only required to change patches every 3 to 4 days. Unfortunately, HRT patches aren’t convenient if you have experienced irritation with patches in the past. Consult your physician if HRT patches are right for you.

Here are the types of feminizing hormones you will be provided by your physician and/or medical provider. Each one is crucial to your transition:

Estradiol: Used among cisgender women for causes such menopause and hysterectomy, it is also used among transgender women/girls to promote physical changes on their appearance. This results in their bodies to develop a feminine appearance in line with cisgender women. Depending on their hormone levels, trans women usually take 2mg of Estradiol to take effect of their feminization.

Anti-androgen: This medication is a testosterone blocker and is very helpful to one’s transition if their hormone levels indicate a high level of testosterone. Although it doesn’t completely deplete all of your testosterone, anti-androgens help neutralize your levels to an acceptable rate. Estradiol cannot be effective without balancing your hormone levels. Spironolactone is the most common form of anti-androgen.

Progesterone: This medication is used in later stages of transition. Once your therapist and/or physician see your estrogen levels reach a certain level, progesterone is added as an estrogen booster. This will promote other feminizing changes, such as increasing breast volume, tissue softening, and allegedly, mental changes. This medication, however, is controversial since modern endocrinologists have found the alleged effects of progesterone being almost ineffective. In part, this is due to advancement of medicine and better access to effective solutions. Despite this, several physicians still prescribe progesterone to transgender women/girls as an option.

DHT blockers: For those who produce more testosterone to the point where it converts into a stronger androgen called dihydrotestosterone (DHT), these medications are necessary. There are two types of DHT blockers used: Finasteride and Dutasteride. Both medications are vital for your transition as they block excess androgen, reduce scalp hair loss, and may thin out facial and body hair. Check with your insurance provider as this medication may not be covered by them.

Cause and effect of HRT

This is where many people want to know the effects of feminizing therapy among trans women and trans girls. Keep in mind that a transition is that: a timeline of several changes that occur within a period of time. Most trans women/girls take about a year to notice any change in their appearance, but it wouldn’t be until 2 to 3 years until they notice a drastic change on their timeline.

The following changes are what trans women and trans girls physically experience during transition:

Skin: Your skin would start to soften a bit within 3 to 6 months, but its maximum effect varies by individual. Your skin will glow and oil will reduce while color tone may even change to that of a cisgender girl.

Legs and feet: Muscles will start to atrophy while body fat will be more retained. Your legs will start to slender while your foot size may shrink due to the thinning of the cartilage. This process takes around 3 to 6 months to take effect.

Hair: Scalp hair will start becoming voluminous while body hair will start to thin out and fall off. Process takes 6 to 12 months. Facial hair may thin, but will still retain even after months on HRT. Electrolysis will be required if you desire to eliminate any remaining facial and body hair.

Arms and hands: Upper arms start atrophying about 3 to 6 months and hands and arms thin out to a more feminine shape. Nails become more brittle while arm hair may even fall off.

Breasts: Areolas and nipple area start expanding while bust starts to enlarge. Process usually takes at least a year to see any effect and maximum growth can take up to 5 years.

Genital area: Penile length and testicles shrink and atrophy within 6 months and infertility may occur even sooner.

Body fat: Estrogen will increase the amount of body fat you will store and will be noticeable in the thighs, back area, and waist.

Height: This factor may vary on the individual. Based on a few testimonies, trans women usually lose an inch or two (~5cm) from their pre-transitioning height. This is due to the thinning of the feet’s sole and possibly the arching of the back. This process takes up to even 2 years before it becomes noticeable.

Body odor: Your body odor starts to change after a few months under HRT. Your body odor starts smelling sweeter and more metallic, similar to a cisgender woman.

Here are areas where transition may not change your physical appearance and traits:

Voice: Despite popular belief, HRT does not alter the voice at all. While you may experience a slight change in pitch, hormones do not feminize the voice of trans women in the same manner hormones masculinize the voice of trans men. The best solution is to take voice feminizing therapy through exercises. Voice feminizing surgery is also a consideration, but has its own risks.

Bone structure: Unless HRT is taken at a younger age, preferably during puberty, there is no way to change your skeletal system without costly and risky surgeries. Hip surgeries exist to expand the narrow hip area while HRT may promote a shrinking height as pointed earlier. Unfortunately, there is no effective surgery to reduce broad shoulder length.

Remaining body hair: While HRT may reduce the amount of body hair, it does not eliminate facial hair and some body hair may remain after thinning. Electrolysis is required if you desire to permanently eliminate any type of body hair and is costly and time-consuming.

Other changes where HRT may provoke a change is also present in the way we think. Here are some of the mental changes we may experience under HRT:

Emotions: You become more sensitive to feelings and are more prone to cry under certain circumstances. For instance, you may take a small compliment either to heart or feel offended while a dramatic scene in a movie may feel very heartbreaking.

Sleep: It becomes much easier for you to fall asleep while waking up becomes more energetic. This is due to a boost of melatonin present in estrogen. Sleep depravation is surprisingly common among trans girls and trans women prior to transition.

Mood swings: There will be occasions where you may experience nausea and even feelings similar to hot flashes.

Smell: You become more sensible to smell and some odors become either very pleasant or very intolerant.

Sexuality: This one is more controversial. There have been cases where HRT affects one’s sexuality, not just by sexual orientation/attraction, but by function. For instance, you may find your interests shift into that of a heterosexual cisgender woman while your expressions become more receptive. You may not even find any changes at all under HRT. Many argue that it’s not HRT that affects your sexuality, but rather by accepting your inner, true feelings and detecting gender envy.

Social changes during transition (non-HRT related, but very important)

This process is a very challenging stage for transgender people of all identities and is one that prevents many from ever coming out. As someone who is still in this stage, I sympathize with many of you. As unfortunate as it sounds, here are some of the challenges you may end up facing as a trans woman or trans girl:

Acceptance: This is perhaps, the most difficult stage of one’s coming out. You’re not just coming out of the closet to your family members, but to friends, neighbors, co-workers, colleagues, etc. Do not be surprised if anybody from this list does not accept you. We’re currently living in a time where transphobia is being heavily promoted among social circles who attempt to persuade the neutral or uninformed into believing false stereotypes of trans people. The best you can do should you face an unaccepting member is to cut them off until they are ready to accept you.

Legal document changes: This varies depending on the country or region you live. Although name changes are usually allowed, gender or sex markers are much more difficult to change. You can live in a place like Washington State where changing your marker from M to F can be a breeze while states like Oklahoma bar you from changing your marker at all. [3] Some countries like the UK can take years to change your marker while some countries of Asia do not allow any sex marker change unless you submit documents verifying a sex change (i.e. SRS). [4]

Appearance and adaptation: Adapting yourself as a trans woman in today’s world can have variable results. While some areas such as San Francisco are accepting of anyone LGBTQ+, transphobia still exists in those areas. Whether it’s the bathroom or even outside your home, you always want to make sure you are safe from any transphobic attack. One effective way to prevent that is by “passing”, which is the process of presenting yourself as your internal gender as close as possible. Many trans women make the effort to feminize their appearance through clothing, movements, voice training, makeup, and even interests. Not only does it help trans women appear more feminine outside, but it also gives them a sense of gender euphoria, a feeling of happiness and peace where they see and feel like themselves. If you know anyone supportive of your transition, especially a woman, don’t be afraid to ask for any tips on how to present yourself, how to apply the right blush, and other things that may benefit with your social change.

Surgeries to consider

After a certain amount of time, there is a chance you want to improve the look of your body to a certain degree. As powerful as HRT can be, it won’t remove the thing down there nor would it blow your chest to a D-cup unless your female family members are bustier than that. Whether its to help your gender and/or body dysphoria, whatever options you choose should make you feel great. It’s recommended you have at least 24 months under HRT before commencing these surgeries. Here are the options for feminizing surgery:

Breast augmentation: Let’s face it: we’re never going to get a nice pair of boobs unless our genes defy it or if our mom or female cousins also have big breasts. Many cisgender women also have that trigger of not having a desirable size on their chest. Breast augmentation is an option for those who want to increase their size without resorting to placebos or who are tired of wearing breast forms all the time.

Hip and butt enlargement: Most trans women have an inverted triangle body shape. Because of that, their hip area is not as wide as they desire to be. In some cases, you may not even have a large bum and want to grow bigger. Hip enlargement is available for those who desire a curvier look and the results are very pleasant. However, you can only stretch the hip area to a limit. As for the bum, there are surgeries that help enlarge and feminize the appearance. The most popular is the Brazilian Butt Lift (BBL). If you’re going that route, I highly recommend looking for a professional surgeon as many BBLs tend to look botched after a certain period.

Lip Filler: This surgery is made to enhance your lips to a more feminine appearance. Although HRT may alter your lip shape, it won’t make you look like Kylie Jenner either. This is done through a form of injections and will help your appearance look more feminine. This is recommended for those who only want to feminize their lips and are not interested in the following procedure.

Facial Feminization Surgery (FFS): This is one of the most common surgeries done when undergoing transition. It not only involves lip enhancement, but also involves reshaping the jawline, removing most of the brow ridge, slight enlargement of the eye area, reducing Adam’s apple, and nose reduction. This surgery can be very painful and requires extensive care for about two weeks before showing signs of healing. The benefits will outweigh the cons, however, if your aim is to feminize your appearance.

Sexual Reassignment Surgery (SRS) or Gender Reassignment Surgery (GRS): This is by far, the most notable surgery when it comes to feminizing transition. SRS/GRS is a process that involves reconstructing the trans woman’s penile area into a functioning neovagina. SRS/GRS is a life-changing surgery for trans women and in many cases can alleviate genital dysphoria. It can also improve sex life and makes it easier for trans girls to fit into garments and clothes without the need of gaffs and tucks. However, it is not without its drawbacks. Not only is SRS/GRS a difficult surgery to perform, but it’s also a very costly surgery to pay for and recover from. The amount of time it takes for a trans woman’s new organ to fully heal can take up to a year and involves constant dilation therapies that are painful and time-consuming. If not done right, it can even be life threatening. Although many trans women are comfortable living with a male organ, some states and countries do not allow you to change your gender/sex marker without performing this surgery.

Electrolysis (aka. Hair removal): Unlike the previous surgeries, electrolysis does not require you to be under HRT. This is a type of surgery that you can get even before starting transition. Electrolysis is highly recommended if you are planning to eliminate any excessive or thick body hair or if you’re planning to remove facial hair.

Where to find HRT

There are many ways someone can find HRT to commence their transition. However, many resources are currently being threatened by politicians, zealots, and transphobes around the world. It is very important you find the proper help as some spots that promise “HRT” are either placebos or medication that may even harm you! For those living in the US, here are some of the resources I found for those looking for HRT:

Planned Parenthood: This is the most accessible spot to receive gender affirming therapy and may even be free if your healthcare provider is compatible. Almost anyone is eligible and very safe compared to other resources. There are a few cons, however. Not every state has these centers and some are either too far away or may not even provide HRT at all. Sometimes, those that do provide HRT may not have enough medication to provide and are placed on a waiting list. The best solution I can give is to either contact your closest Planned Parenthood for available HRT medication or look up at this link below to see where you can receive the nearest help: https://www.plannedparenthood.org/get-care/our-services/transgender-hormone-therapy.

Online providers: For those that live outside of public health centers, online providers for HRT is another solution. The most popular sources are Plume and Folx. Each plan provides you a checkup of lab tests, gender evaluation, and access to clinical care. Some have their advantages and cons that make them different. While Plume offers letters of references to doctors and physicians, Folx offers quarterly lab checkups that are crucial to your feminizing transition. The big drawback is that both are not covered by healthcare providers and require you to pay a monthly free of 100 US dollars. They are also not available at every state.

DIY: Although I don’t recommend DIY HRT, this is a route many trans girls and trans women often take due to a lack of resources around their area, as well as the attack on HRT therapy on states such as Florida. It is very important you connect with a close circle knowledgeable in obtaining safe HRT alternatives. There are many blogs here on Tumblr that sell you hormones, but they are questionable due to their varying levels of estrogen that may either be incompatible with your body or may even affect you. If someone approaches you with a message selling you HRT, whether it’s here or on any social site, avoid them at all costs, especially those whose blog’s main target are “sissies, traps, femboys, transvestites, etc.” You may end up buying ashwagandha in high doses, which is not only a testosterone booster, but can even cause irreversible harm if taken for too long.

Resources and support

As much as I would love to be a help, not everyone has the same outcome when it comes to transition. Some of us have circumstances that prevent us from transitioning, such as lack of medical resources, unsupportive peers such as family, persecution and/or lack of protection, economic problems, health issues, questioning, etc. This is where a few solutions can be provided to you.

In the US (and Canada to some extent), Trans Lifeline is a beneficial resource for those who are in need of support, especially in these harsh times. Trans Lifeline is a non-profit run by trans people and aims as a safer alternative to other resources who are more likely to invalidate or even oust gender identities to authorities. If you would like to know more about Trans Lifeline, click on this link here. If you or someone else you know is trans are in deep need, call/save this number: US Hotline (877) 565-8860. Canada Hotline (877) 330-6366⁣.

For those outside the US, if you live in a situation where your life may be in danger for being trans or any identity under the trans umbrella, check out Rainbow Railroad as they are a non-profit whose main objective is to provide safe sheltering for anyone who identifies as LGBTQ+. Although they are based in the US and Canada, they have presence in various parts of the world and can help you relocate to a safer spot, as well as provide resources to put you on track. Click on this link if you would like to learn about Rainbow Railroad or share it to someone in need

Conclusion

I hope this guide gave you an idea of what MTF hormone therapy is and what to expect of its effects. HRT is a very helpful method for transitioning people when done effectively through medical help and emotional support. Even if you’re not looking to transition under HRT or may not even be trans yourself, it’s very important we have at least a clear knowledge of what trans people are going through and what we can do to help without subjecting them to prejudice. Please give a like and/or reblog as you may never know if one basic guide like this can be a great help for someone in need. If you’re looking to research more about transgender hormone therapy and resources, I left a few links on the sources below as they are much more insightful than what I provided. If you have any questions, find blogs and sites specialized in transgender help such as Trans Lifeline or even blogs such as Reddit’s r/asktransgender. Thank you!

Sources:

https://www.nhsinform.scot/tests-and-treatments/medicines-and-medical-aids/types-of-medicine/hormone-replacement-therapy-hrt

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/planned-parenthood-great-northwest-hawaii-alaska-indiana-kentuck/patients/health-care-services/hrt-hormone-therapy-for-trans-and-non-binary-patients?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI5eSPucLUgAMV_izUAR1uYAEyEAAYAiAAEgIuoPD_BwE

https://www.lgbtmap.org/equality-maps

https://med.stanford.edu/news/all-news/2022/01/mental-health-hormone-treatment-transgender-people.html

https://ourworldindata.org/grapher/right-to-change-legal-gender-equaldex

https://www.hrc.org/resources/attacks-on-gender-affirming-care-by-state-map

https://transcare.ucsf.edu/article/information-estrogen-hormone-therapy

https://www.folxhealth.com/gender-affirming-care

https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/feminizing-hormone-therapy/about/pac-20385096

https://www.rainbowrailroad.org/

https://translifeline.org/

https://transcare.ucsf.edu/transition-roadmap

#transgender #feminine #trans hrt #guide #helpful #mtf hrt #trans #trans girl #gender affirming #be informed #trans rights #lgbtq #lgbtq pride #here to stay #trans pride #ally

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thatbadadvice · 7 months

Text

Help! I Am Entitled To Do A Bone!

The Ethicist, New York Times, 14 October 2023:

My wife became pregnant soon after we met, when our relationship was “fluid” and non-monogamous. We agreed to raise the child together and, at my urging, to have an open relationship. However, our relationship since has been monogamous. My wife was injured during the birth of our second child and now finds sex painful and avoids it. (We had a terrific sex life before the injury.) When I broached the topic of having other partners and reminded her of our agreement to have an open relationship, she became irritated and said that having kids changed things. Subsequent discussions resulted in a stalemate. I very much enjoy my wife’s company and love her and our two kids. I have no intention of separating from my family. Nonetheless, I harbor resentments that my wife reneged on her commitment to me, and this, together with the lack of sex, is creating a wedge between us. Would it be ethical to take a mistress, given her earlier promise, and if so, can I do this discreetly so as to avoid tension and perhaps divorce? Or should I tell her I am planning to pursue this course of action? Or does the inherent risk of infidelity mean I should accept near-celibacy indefinitely? — Name Withheld

Dear Name Withheld,

The restraint with which you signed yourself "name withheld" rather than the more accurate "big fun deep-dicking from which I have been blocked by my hateful bitch wife" is admirable in the extreme. You are a credit to your gender, sir.

But on to the matter at hand, specifically, your hand, to which you have been relegated in lieu of the aforementioned big fun deep-dicking. Your wife waited to drop the vicious bomb of possession upon you until she had roped you, an unwitting fancy-free man of leisure (entitled to all the benefits thereof indefinitely and in perpetuity), into marriage and fatherhood of not one but two children — children you could have in no way have known would result from your consistently and entirely monogamous coupling over many years, and moreover, could never have expected would complicate the terms of the thing y'all talked about one time about boning other randos?? And now this self-interested harpy dares to refuse to you the clear promise of sex with absolutely anyone other than her at any time ever, which she made and guaranteed in surety after you'd been fucking for a minute? A promise you had in theory enjoyed by writ and at length in your mind based on a conversation y'all had years ago before the entire terms and nature of your relationship changed in deep and meaningful ways to literally the one other person involved in said relationship, to wit, the worst person?

A bait-and-switch of the kind your cruel and fickle wife has pulled on you cannot, should not, be tolerated. Are you — is any man, really — obligated to just not fuck his wife in addition to whoever else he wants to fuck ever? Just because she "finds sex painful"? Sex isn't painful for you, and doesn't that matter just a little bit more? Isn't it her job to have kind of a bad time so that you can have a good time? Isn't that what it is to be a woman and a mother? And she just casually eschews her duty to put up with whatever the fuck you propose? Because WHY? Because "having kids changes things"? I ask you: changes things for who? For the person who carried children in her body and experienced deep and lasting personal and physical injury? Or for you, the person who matters most?

It seems your wife has an unfortunately topsy-turvy view of partnership, one in which she believes two individuals are allowed to dictate the terms of a relationship that may change over time due to a variety of mitigating factors that one or both of you may or may not have control over. Would that she realized that her sexual needs are not merely incidental to yours, but actively irrelevant. If only she would simply give you that one, small thing (in addition to two children).

But alas, she seems sadly fixated on her own needs to the exclusion of the fact that you would like to do a bone upon her or frankly anyone, you are not picky, as long as she doesn't leave you or take your children away or do anything really to upset the world as you would like it to be, which is a classically controlling woman-type thing that women do because they are so self-involved.

Obviously you're really grappling with the profound ethical implications of lying to your wife about taking a mistress, and you're trying to find literally any other solution to just finding a girlfriend and fucking the shit out of her and hoping your wife doesn't find out. That's clearly the very last thing you want. But since you've shown such magnanimous restraint in not doing so, you probably should just do it and see what happens, it'll probably all be totally fine! And if it isn't, eh, idk? Were you supposed to just survive on beejays and handies forever? You tried your very best not to! And that's what will matter most to your children in the end.

#relationships #advice #bad advice #the ethicist #new york times #monogamy #polyamory #ethical non monogamy #just regular dude stuff #the men are fine #the men are very chill #childbirth #parenting #families #relationship advice

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misc-obeyme · 1 year

Note

Mc shows the brothers

Human world style and (what the media gives to woman) body standards ,How would they react?

((I am a firm believer that you can be whoever you want and your body is beautiful))

Hey there, anon!

Okay, this here is a sensitive topic, but I think I did all right with it.

I think how the brothers would react depends on what the beauty standards are like in the Devildom. So for this, I went with the idea that while the Devildom has similar beauty standards to the human world, they're less important. I would think that demons would care more about power than appearance, especially since it's likely that at least some of them use magic to alter how they look. So the brothers probably don't know what an issue it is in the human world.

Also tried to keep it mostly gender neutral, hopefully that's okay.

Thank you for the request!

The brothers react to GN!MC telling them about human world body standards.

Warnings: A lot of discussion of body image issues, talking about diets and food in Beel's part.

Lucifer

Does not understand. Why do humans place such importance on looking perfect? He certainly sees the value in looking put together, especially when it comes to things like clothes and hygiene. Beyond that, though, he doesn't see the point in obsessing over trying to fix perceived flaws.

Does not care about your body type at all. Short? Tall? Fat? Thin? It's irrelevant to him. What matters is who you are. If he wasn't a beautiful man, it wouldn't matter because everyone would still fear him. It isn't about what you look like, it's how you carry yourself.

If you struggle, though, he's going to be sensitive about it. Will not talk about it with others around, but will casually compliment you on how nice you look. Especially if he knows you're lacking confidence for some reason. Then he'll make a point of telling you that you look good.

When you're alone, though, he showers you in compliments. Lucifer is not usually soft, so it's reserved for when you're alone with him. And that's when he takes your feelings into consideration. Don't you know that you are stunning, MC? In fact, he would say that your body is perfect simply because it is yours.

Mammon

Hang on. Human world models aren't naturally like that? Sure, he works out a little more than he might normally just because he works as a model, but it's not like he goes around doing anything drastic. Do you think he's contributing to unrealistic beauty standards in the Devildom?!

Um… well… it's hard to say? You'll probably need to reassure him that it really doesn't matter either way. The problem is not individual models, but the industry as a whole. And there are people who are working to make things better. It's just that in the human world, you have to be aware that what you see in magazines is usually heavily edited. He's gonna think that's crazy. The Great Mammon's photos are never photoshopped!

Once he gets over this little crisis, though, he's going to tell you that all of that sounds really stupid. The whole point of fashion is that it makes you feel good! It's supposed to be fun! Who cares what type of body you have? You should be able to enjoy it no matter what.

Mammon is gonna get really cute about your specific insecurities, though. If you tell him you don't like something about yourself, he's going to go out of his way to let you know that he loves it. Feeling unhappy about your stomach not being flat enough, for instance? Hey, MC! Ya don't mind if he gives ya hug, do ya? Doesn't wait for a response, just wraps his arms around you from behind so he can settle his hands directly on your stomach. Presses his face into your neck to mumble about how perfect you are because he won't say it straight to your face.

Leviathan

Baffled. More confused than Lucifer. Are you seriously trying to tell him that people in the human world care about this kind of thing? Uh oh. Now he's thinking about his body image. Does it fit with human world standards?! Do you think he's hideous, MC!?

You've got another crisis. Quick, reassure him that he has nothing to worry about! The point you're trying to make here is that human world standards are crazy and harmful. He's perfect to you and that's all that matters.

O-oh. Right. Now he's a little bashful about his reaction. Makes it clear that you're perfect to him, too. Watch as he gains more confidence in his compliments. He starts telling you about how he loves every part of you. Lists physical attributes at first, but starts getting into who you are to him. Not just your best qualities, but special moments he's had with you. How important you are to him, specifically.

If you tell him about things that you struggle with, he's going to reassure you in the moment. And then you notice that when you consume some form of media together, a lot of times there's a character that has one of those specific things that you also have. He thinks he's subtle, but you see right through him. If he finds a story line where the character learns to love themselves or something, he's definitely going to make you watch it with him. Acts like he's completely innocent, it's just a good story, you know!

Satan

Confused at first. As with Lucifer, finds such things to be completely irrelevant. Obviously, what matters is who you are inside. When someone has a heart and soul as beautiful as yours, their body simply becomes beautiful by association. Also don't you know it's about practicality? Your body exists to move you through the world, not to be pretty for other people.

Uh oh. Now he's getting angry. Why would other humans feel that you have to look a certain way for them? How could they make you feel like you aren't perfect exactly as you are? How dare they subject you to their own ideals of beauty? It's upsetting, MC!

Okay, okay, you're probably going to have to talk him down. He's livid on your behalf, but tell him how much it means to you to hear him say these things and he'll start to calm down. Realizes that getting angry about it doesn't help you in any way. Reassures you that such human world ideas are nonsense.

Starts complimenting you all the time, especially on the things he knows you're insecure about. Maybe you don't like the shape of your nose. He will say, completely straight faced, that your nose is looking really cute today. Although this sounds ridiculous, it does make you smile, so that feels like a win.

Asmodeus

Oh, MC. Don't you think he knows all about this already? Of course he does. Asmodeus is perfectly aware of how things are in the human world when it comes to beauty standards. He knows how hard it can be for some humans.

You might think he couldn't possibly understand because he's so perfect. He's always beautiful. The reality is that he believes his beauty is all he has. If he's not beautiful, who even is he? Take the moment to tell him that he's so much more than his looks. That you love him for who he is, his kindness, his bubbly personality, his creativity, etc.

He's going to tell you that all the things you do to make yourself look good should be things you're doing for yourself. Do them because they make you feel good. Do them because they give you confidence. Do them because you deserve to pamper yourself sometimes. Do them because you need to take care of yourself just as much as you take care of everybody else.

Another one who gets cute about your insecurities. What's that? Did you say you don't like your stretch marks? Well now you're laughing as he kisses every last stretch mark he can find. You learn not to say negative things about yourself around him unless you're prepared to get covered in kisses.

Beelzebub

Misunderstands. Thinks you're asking him for workout advice. You want your body to look a certain way? He knows what to do for that. Do you want him to come up with an exercise schedule for you, MC? Its up to you whether or not you decide to workout with him, but either way you'll have to tell him that's not exactly what you meant. Tell him about diets and watch the confusion get worse.

Wait, wait, wait. Humans restrict their food in an attempt to get their bodies to look a certain way? He's dumbfounded. Just thinking about it upsets him. Why in the world would you want to deprive yourself of any kind of food? You decide not to tell him just how bad this can get for people. He's having a hard enough time as it is.

Don't you dare try to do it around him, though. If you say anything about not wanting to eat something because you're worried it'll make you fat or you're watching your figure or anything else along those lines, he will frown at you. He's going to tell you that you should eat whatever you want.

Beel thinks chubby humans are really cute. They look well fed and that makes him happy. If you're already on the chubby side, he'll tell you how much he likes it. If you're not, he'll tell you how much he likes you the way you are, but if you were to change he would like you just the same.

Belphegor

Huh. Humans care about some weird stuff, don't they? It's not that Belphie is unaware of human world beauty standards, it's more like he thinks it's really dumb so he doesn't think about it most of the time. However, he does recognize what an issue it can be for a lot of people. The fact that you're bringing it up to him indicates that you struggle with it, too. And he's not okay with that.

Won't lose his shit or anything, this guy is too lazy for that. But he is annoyed on your behalf. He's annoyed that you feel insecure about any part of you because the human world had the audacity to pressure you into thinking you weren't good enough just the way you are. You don't have to change anything about yourself, MC. You're perfect.

He's actually really good at listening to you talk about your body image issues. He knows he doesn't necessarily have to participate a lot, he just needs to listen. You'll feel better once you've told him all about your struggles. Tell him everything. He's only going to speak up to tell you that he understands, but that in his eyes, those flaws you think you have don't exist.

As with a couple of his older brothers, he's going to deliberately love on the things that you mention being insecure about. Definitely more bratty about it, though. The more you protest, the more he persists. Did you just complain about how thick your thighs are? He's going to nuzzle into them like they're the softest pillow he's ever had. Loudly says he's going to take his afternoon nap right there. Try to dislodge him and you'll only make it worse.

masterlist | Thank you for reading!

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me brothers #request #misc writes

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lolitakirstein · 2 months

Text

Hey Neighbor Pt 9

Part 8

WC: ~1.5k

AN: I'm so worried about writing longer chapters in case they are too boring. but I hate splitting things up when I'm on a roll. ha

You watched as the man you had run into exited Toji’s house 30 minutes later. Unable to hear what the two were discussing you relied on their body language to give you some hint as to who he was. The men seemed formal towards each other yet relaxed; Toji with his hands in his pocket or across his chest, the other guy casually lighting a cigarette while showing his back to toji. There must be some level of trust between them, then. Before the man leaves, you notice him gesture towards your house. You draw back further from the window, afraid of being seen.

Once the car is out of sight and Toji returns to his house, you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. Should you ask Toji who he was or was that being too nosy? Not like i’ll get a straight answer, he refuses to tell me anything, you think, settling on being nonchalant about it.

Fortunately, you had work to keep you focused. And most fortunately, your hangover was minimal. Nothing more than a slight throb thanks to the pain meds Toji had offered you. You become robotic as you scan, sort, and shelve books and answer the same boring questions from customers.

Before you can notice, it’s your lunch break. You sit in the small cafe that the bookstore offers, downing a hot chai latte and checking your phone. One message from the work group chat and one from Toji that was sent a few hours ago

Toji: You ok?

You fight back the urge to send, “I can’t tell you right now, it’s not the right time,” instead, pocketing your phone and playing hard to get. You clock back into work, ready to start the second half of your shift.

Wait, am I wanting him to chase me or something? This guy who knows things but won't tell me? Why am I trying to act like this is a dude i’ve swiped on Tindr? This guy has secrets, deep ones. Ones I probably don’t wanna know—

“Excuse me,” a soft voice snaps you out of your internal monologue. You spin around and are met with a man. His dark auburn hair is close-cropped at the sides while the top fashionably brushes just above his deep brown eyes. A soft shadow of stubble peppers his strong jaw.

“Oh, hello. Can I help you?” you quickly revert to the robotic motions of a customer service provider.

“Yeah, I was looking for your classical section.”

“Are you looking for anything in particular,” you ask after leading him to the designated section of the store.

“What would you recommend?”

A question every worker hates. “Well, can never go wrong with Doestrevsky.”

“Ah, yes, I read Crime and Punishment in school. Incredible prose,” he responds.

Your heart lifts at finally being able to discuss books with someone. “Indeed, if you like that, you might like The Idiot. Same themes of human nature and society.” You grab a copy off the shelf and hand it to me.

“Well I’d be an idiot if I didn’t take the advice of such a beautiful, well-read woman,” he says coyly as you walk to the counter. You internally groan but also can’t help but blush at the compliment, though the joke was indeed awful.

“Let me know how you like it?” you say after ringing him up and bagging his purchase.

“How about we discuss it over dinner sometime,” he cocks an auburn brown.

“Oh,” you stammer, thrown off by the sudden offer. It’d been so long since you’d been on a date you forgot what it was like to be asked out. “Sure!”

“Great I’ll keep you posted on my progress,” the man who you now know as Connor pockets his phone after you exchange numbers. “I look forward to discussing it with you and hearing your beautiful thoughts.”

Ok, he was laying it on a little thick but you don't mind. The only interaction you had had with a man for the past few months had been with Toji. And those interactions were hardly civil, much less flirty. Though Toji tended to tease, it was mostly to throw you off the topic of his secrets.

The rest of your shift goes by quickly and you arrive home before the sun goes down. As you get out of your car, you notice Toji sitting on his porch steps. You try to ignore him but ignoring him is like trying to ignore a bear about to devour you. You give a wave, walking fast to your house.

“You ok?” Toji asks, still sitting on the steps. Damn, he either can’t take a hint or is just stubborn.

“Yeah, thanks,” you respond fumbling your keys out of your pocket. You drop them. Cursing yourself for being so easily intimidated by him you stoop to pick them up. Toji’s feet appear in your line of vision. You look up at the giant man standing over you. You want to feel afraid, but you can’t deny the absolute feral part of your brain at the sight of him standing over you.

“Why didn’t you text me back?” the possessive tone didn’t help dampen the submissive part of your psyche. Damn, why do I have to be such a whore for crazy men?

“I was working,” you squeak out, picking your keys up and walking to your front steps.

“I wanna talk,” Toji says behind you as you march up the steps and unlock your door.

“It’s fine Toji. Nothing to talk about,” you turn around, Toji is standing at the bottom of your porch steps.

“There is,” Toji huffs a breath. “A lot, actually.”

You were not in the mood for this. Your day ended on a good note and you intend for it to stay that way. “Look, whatever it is. I don’t care.”

“Yes you do,” Toji takes one step up.

You shake your head, even though you were screaming yes in your head. You will not let him win. “Nah, I’m good. I really couldn't care less what your little secrets are. I don’t even know you.”

“It’s not that, it’s just—”

The notification on your phone interrupts the moment. You reach into your pocket for it and notice a text from Connor.

Connor: I hope you had a good rest of your day. I must say, you made mine :)

Oh, the cringe was off the charts with this guy. But you can’t keep the stupid smile from appearing on your face. Followed by a giggle. Shit I’m giggling over a guy. I need laid

“Who’s that?” Toji asks sharply.

“No one,” you shake your head.

“No one huh,” Toji takes another step up, finally standing in front of you. “‘No one’ got you smiling like a goof?”

“You have your secrets, I have mine,” you shrug.

“You don't blush like that for just no one,” Toji teases, he steps so close you can feel the heat off of him. “Now who could possibly be making sweet little y/n blush so much besides me?”

You crane your neck up to look at him, refusing to show he’s affecting you. “I can’t tell you. It’s not the right time.”

Finally, you manage to knock him off his game by throwing his words back at him. He steps back, putting some distance between you. A scowl wrinkles his brow and his jaw ticks as he clenches his teeth. You smirk, pleased with yourself. “Good night toji.”

Toji

Toji stares at the door you slammed in his face, stricken dumb by the sass you dished out. He had expected this to be a moment of confession, finally getting it all out in the open. Now standing at your closed door, Toji has no choice but to retreat back home.

After dinner and tucking Megumi into bed, Toji collapses onto his king-size bed. He turns his head to the window, towards your house. The lamp on your bedside table creates a soft glow from your window. He watches as you enter the bedroom. Your eyes on your phone, smiling.

Toji clenches his jaw. Here he was ready to start having an honest conversation with you, and you were too busy with this mysterious ‘no one.’ He hated being this way, but he couldn’t deny that he felt a sense of protectiveness over you.

He watches you throw your phone on the bed, the giddy smile still on your lips—perfect lips, soft delicate lips he’s thought about kissing on multiple occasions. With your back to the window, you remove your shirt and toss it to the chair before you begin sliding your pants down. As much as Toji would love nothing more than to watch, he has enough decency to look away, he’s not THAT much of a pervert.

He reaches into his back pocket, depositing the contents beside him.

First is his cellphone which he text Shiu–I need to borrow a few of your tech geeks.

The second, is a sealed envelope. No address, no street names or numbers. Just 3 words written in delicate script:

il mio agnellino

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imeanyourmomsprettyhot · 11 months

Text

You Have No Right || Aemond Targaryen

prologue

story masterlist / masterlist

summary: Driven by sheer desire, the One-Eyed Prince tries to find the woman that caused his sleepless nights full of lust and frustration.

warnings: female!reader, dark and possessive Aemond, sexual scenes, violent scenes

comment if you want to be on the tag list!

══════════════════

King's Landing at night was always a spectacle. The streets were filled with light, laughter, and sex. People were shouting, some fought, others stole. The town was never quiet and empty, but it was the brightest at night, that was for sure.

A young girl walked through the crowded town. In her pocket, a silver coin she got from her mother. She's supposed to buy something for her—a special tea.

She rushed between the people, trying her best to not be seen. It was a talent of her's to stay hidden and easy to oversight, tiptoeing around like a ghost—like she was never there.

She made it out of the thick and hot air of the loaded streets, to a much darker and gloomier side of the city. It was the part of humanity no one wanted to talk about. The place where inappropriate deals were made, ineffable topics discussed, and awful jobs done—and it was exactly this place that she had to go.

She was not a bad girl—she tried to be as virtuous as the daughter of a whore could be. She did not belong in the dark alleys of King's Landing, but she had to get Moon Tea for her mother. Otherwise she was forced to get another child she could not care for.

So the girl sneaked around the cold stones, the gaze of the walls following her around.

It took not long until she found the woman she was supposed to go to—people said she was a witch.

The girl knocked on the door of the witch to soon be greeted by an old pair of eyes. A wrinkly woman opened the door, a few strands of hair were laying over her face.

Before the girl could open her mouth, the witch has already pulled her into her home. She looked around the streets, if anyone was following her, before she closed the small door.

"What are you looking for?" She asked.

The girl was looking around the dark room which was only lit up by a few candles. Bundles of herbs were hanging on the walls and a lot of bottles, filled with all different types of liquids, were laying around.

"I need moon tea..." The girl whispered, ashamed of asking for such a thing.

Wordlessly, the witch went over to one of the cabinets, rummaging in the drawers.

"Are you a whore?" She suddenly asked.

"No, I'm not!" The girl quickly denied.

The witch didn't say anything more about it, as she was probably just asking out of curiosity. She came back to the girl. In her hand, a small bottle.

"Let it simmer on a low flame, and don't let it come to boil," the witch instructed.

A long silence followed, until the girl realized it came to the point of paying. She pulled the silver coin out of her pocket and gave it to the woman in exchange for the bottle.

The witch led the girl to the door, closing it behind her, before exchanging any more words with her. The young girl turned around, the tea secured in her bag.

She made her way through the murky streets, keeping her view down. She was as inconspicuous as she could, as she walked through the part of the town no one should go to.

A sudden noise made her jump up, turning her head. A shiver creeped up her spine, as she suddenly felt more uncomfortable than she already did. She noticed footsteps coming closer to her, as her feet stroke deeper and deeper roots down in the ground.

A shadow crawled out of the darkness of the alley, but the girl still couldn't move a muscle.

"Empty your pockets!" A deep voice commanded.

Before she could comprehend what was happening, the figure of a man was already standing right in front of her, pulling her on her arm and pushing her on the wall.

As the cold stone hit her back, her mind came back to her body. She finally realized what was happening and anxiously looked the man in the face.

"EMPTY YOUR POCKETS!" He barked.

The frightened girl slid her shaking hands in her bag and took all the coins she had left, out of it.

"I want all you have, girl!" His breath smelled like rum.

The weak-spirited girl fully emptied her pockets, giving the man anything she had. But he kept looking at her, observing her face.

"I gave you all I had," she quietly cried out.

She was scared for her life—scared that he might kill her. But he had completely different things in mind. He looked down on the girl, examining her body. At that moment, she knew what was going to happen.

She opened her mouth to scream for help—though she didn't believe anyone in those dark streets would want to help her. But only a short bawl came out of her mouth, before the man pressed his hand over it.

He forcefully turned her around, pressing her head on the ice cold bricks of the wall they were standing on. His hand was still tightly wrapped around her jar, making her unable to let any sound leave her lips.

She breathed heavily, while the man pulled up her dress. She tried her best to fight back, but he was stronger than her—drunk but still too strong. She closed her eyes, trying to leave her body again.

But before the man could do any more, he suddenly let go of her. She turned around, to find the man laying on the ground. Her body was still trembling from the rush of adrenaline.

She was so fixated on the man, who was soon standing on his feet again, that she almost didn't notice the figure standing beside her.

The cloaked shadow rushed over to the man, punching him in the face. He fell on the ground again, a loud hiss came from him. The other person sat on the man, continuing to punch him over and over again.

The man growled in pain, until the other one finally stopped. He pulled anything the man had, out of his pockets, before getting up from him. The man quickly got up too, running away, back into darkness.

The cloaked silhouette came over to the girl, while her heart leaped into her throat. She gripped onto the stone behind her, as the shadow approached her. But to her surprise, he handed her the things from the man's pockets over.

"Th-thank you," she silently stuttered.

"A young lady should stay away from this part of the city." The voice of a young man came from the silhouette.

The closer he got, the more she could make out what the man looked like. He had the hood of his cloak pulled over his face, yet she was able to see parts of his face. Like the piece of leather over one of his eyes, as well as a few white strands that fell over the other—he was her savior.

"I-I-I know, sir." She kept her view down, while he was carefully looking at her face.

"I'll bring you out of her, come."

She couldn't say anything more, before he already started walking down the street. She stuffed the things in her bag, and quickly followed behind.

"What is your name, young lady?" He suddenly asked.

'Why did he want to know that?' She asked herself. But he saved her from shame and violence, so she decided to not discuss his intentions any longer and told him her name.

He hummed in response.

"A beautiful name, if you ask me."

"Thank you, sir." She looked up to his face, but he was just blankly staring to the front, "And what's your name?"

"Not important." He replied.

The girl wondered what that was supposed to mean. Why didn't he want to tell her his name?

Meanwhile, the man debated in his head why he helped the girl. It was none of his business and he didn't care for anything happening to the lowborn. He didn't need to help anyone, he didn't want to—yet he did. And he had troubles understanding why. Why caring about a girl being raped? It was not his problem she got herself into this situation.

The dim streets came to an end, as laughter and music was heard in the distance. The sound approximated and the light started beaming through the windows of the houses, and they soon were standing in the crowded alleys again.

She turned around, wanting to thank her savior one last time, but he was already gone. She just saw his cloak disappear in the crowd, and it was the last time that she saw him.

<< next chapter >>

#hotd #house of the dragon #aemond #aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen imagine #fanfic #fanfiction #aemond x reader #smut #hotd imagine #house of the dragon fanfic #aemond one eye #aemond x oc #aemond fanfiction #aemond targaryen x you #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen fanfic

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writer-in-theory · 2 years

Text

two little pink lines — spencer reid

request: Hello, I love your writing! I have a request - a story where spencer and the reader both work at BAU and reader finds out she’s pregnant. Spencer initially is unhappy about it (angst maybe a fight go with whatever feels right!) but when the reader is captured by the unsub he realizes that he actually loves their baby and wants to raise their little family with fluffy ending? summary: when reader finds out they’re about to start a family, spencer does not give the reaction she expects. pairing: spencer reid x pregnant!fem!reader category: angst with happy ending content warnings: discussions of being pregnant, reader kidnapped by unsub, reader restrained using rope word count: 2.2k

summer of fics masterlist masterlist want to join my taglist?

Life doesn’t go the way we plan, not all the time. That doesn’t always mean the deviation is a negative one, though. Sometimes people don’t know what they want until the choice is right there in front of them, and someday they wonder how they could have ever imagined a different life. Spencer would be the first to tell you that—lauding his decision to join the FBI despite growing up always wanting to be a professor.

You wondered what Spencer would say now if he could see the little white stick carrying lines that changed your entire world.

You tried to ignore it for weeks. Maybe it was a false positive, or maybe Spencer would figure it out on his own and you’d never have to tell him. But as time moved on and you began having to get clothing just a little bigger to accommodate the growth you knew it was time to be honest.

Unfortunately, it happened on a case, the moment you felt right telling him.

“Have you told him?” JJ asked when the two of you had gotten back to your shared hotel room after the first night on the case. There hadn’t been many breakthroughs so you were able to leave the station early, giving all of you some semblance of a good night’s rest.

“What? Who?” you asked in return, turning away to start unpacking your go-bag when you saw the look on the other woman’s face.

“Spencer,” JJ explained. “Come on, Y/N, I recognize the signs.”

It should have been terrifying. You’d been desperately trying to hide it, trying not to let anyone know that this miracle was happening when neither of you had planned for it. And yet, the moment those words left JJ’s lips, a surge of pure relief rolled through your body. Your shoulders relaxed maybe for the first time since taking the pregnancy test.

“I know I need to tell him,” you answered, re-folding the clothes that had gotten haphazardly thrown into your bag the last time you’d washed them. “But it’s not like we meant for this to happen. I don’t know how he’ll take it.”

“Will and I didn’t plan for Henry.” You knew that of course, you did when your boyfriend was the godfather to the little boy. That didn’t stop you from feeling like it was somehow different for the two of you, because Spencer was the guy who planned for everything and you seemed to always have a plan in case of emergency. “You’ve seen how Spencer acts with Henry, he’s so good with him.”

“Yeah, but being good with kids doesn’t mean he wants one of his own, especially now,” you sighed, continuing to fold clothes if only to keep your hands from instinctively pulling on your hair. “Hell, we haven’t even talked about marriage or anything yet.”

“Now’s the perfect time to.” JJ offered but thankfully didn’t say anything else about the topic until the two of you were ready for bed. “It’s better to tell him now than panic him later when it’s too late for him to think through the situation. You know Spencer better than anyone else.”

That you did. Which was why you woke up earlier than normal the next day if only to beat everyone else to the station. That is, everyone except your darling boyfriend who liked to have a bit of time alone early in the morning to really dive into the evidence and think things through.

You brought him coffee, for the first time holding onto a juice for yourself and pretending the smell of his coffee didn’t make you jealous. “Good morning, Spencer,” you greeted, thankful your voice didn’t shake to giveaway the nerves kickstarting your entire fight-or-flight response.

You didn’t have to tell him anything. You could tell him but say he doesn’t have to worry about it even when you had no idea how you were going to handle this alone. You could do anything, and yet all you seemed to be capable of at that moment was standing there, hand still slightly outstretched from handing over the coffee cup.

“Are you okay?”

You’d planned a thousand different ways to tell him. There were cutesie things with fun props and silly witty jokes that only he would find funny, even one idea that involved the entire team.

Instead, all you had the strength to do now was say, “Spencer, I’m pregnant.”

If a human being could buffer, then you witnessed it in that moment. Spencer stared at you, unblinking, lips parted and hand quivering so badly you thought for sure the coffee cup held within it would be lost to the shitty carpet under your feet. He grew pale, impossibly pale, and then all of a sudden seemed to reboot with an answer.

“How?” Spencer demanded, beginning to look less shocked and more panicked.

“Well, when two people love each other very much—”

“I know how sex works, Y/N,” Spencer snapped, hands in his hair as he fought to gain control over the situation unfolding around him. “I mean how could you be pregnant? I thought we were careful.”

“I thought we were too,” you answered, trying to keep your voice as gentle as possible if only to keep the local officers on the other side of the conference room wall from thinking anything bad was happening within. “But I took three tests a few weeks ago and all of them came back positive.”

“A few weeks ago? Why didn’t you tell me then?” That was a fair question. It was one that made your cheeks grow warm as you were called out, questioned.

“I wanted to,” you tried to explain, “but I was shocked too. I needed time to figure out what I was going to do before I told you.”

“We can’t have a kid right now.”

“What do you mean?” you asked, a hand immediately flying to your stomach as if to protect the life there from hearing those words. “I know it’s not what we planned, but I know my parents would help babysit when we’re working and w—”

“Y/N, what makes you think I want a baby right now? We work a dangerous job, we’re never home, I can’t do this!”

“Then what do you want me to do? It’s not like I made this happen on purpose!”

“I don’t know, Y/N, maybe you should’ve figured that out before you told me since you spent so many weeks supposedly doing that.” This wasn’t like Spencer. You’d never seen him get this genuinely angry, this upset. Deep down, you knew a lot of it was from the absolute panic of the situation but still, you couldn’t unhear him telling you that, essentially, this was your problem and he didn’t want to have any part of the figuring it out stage.

“Fine, I’ll figure it out on my own,” you snapped, shouldering your bag from its temporary spot on the table and making a quick exit before the rest of the team knew you were even there. Through the tears rapidly forming in your eyes, you were able to send Hotch a quick text letting him know you felt sick and were going to stay in the hotel for the morning to see if it would get better.

You felt your phone buzz against your leg with his reply, but you didn’t have the energy to read it. Instead, you spent time exploring the little town you were stuck in until the case was over.

Most of your cases occurred in small towns, where most people knew their community and could never imagine anyone within it could commit such atrocities against their own. These towns were often the most dangerous to live in, because every wolf wore sheep’s clothing even when they were being questioned by one of the BAU team members trained to see through the disguise.

You were so lost in thought about how terribly the announcement had gone with Spencer, that you missed the man casually walking behind you. It was just some guy from the small town in the middle of nowhere Nebraska, but unknown to you until the very moment he caught up with you that unassuming man was the unsub you’d traveled here to find.

No one ever told you how exhausting being captured was. You’d woken up around mid-day tied to a chair and ever since the man had you, that was where you’d been. Your shoulders began to ache from the awkward stretch of them behind you, and your legs were antsy as they grew far more aware of the fact that you hadn’t been able to move them in a while.

By the next day, you were sure the waiting would be the worst part.

There was no way to tell what the unsub wanted from you, or why. Were you another victim meant to fall to his cruel hands, or did he take you because he knew you were a part of the team sent to catch him?

Either way, with all the time left for you to think, your mind found plenty of new and old regrets to dredge up. Most present in your mind was the fight with Spencer and how horribly your admission had gone. Maybe you should have told him sooner, and given him time to process the information as JJ had suggested. Maybe you shouldn’t have told him while you were on a case, where tensions were running high already.

There were too many ‘what-ifs’, and so little time to fix any of them.

“Drop your weapon!”

The yell came too suddenly, causing you to yelp and jump in your seat as best as you could given the rope tethering you to it. The sound came from upstairs, a familiar shout that could only come from one Emily Prentiss when one of her own was threatened. Sounds of a clear arrest assaulted your ears next until the basement door finally opened, flooding light in and revealing a shadowy figure with curly hair standing at the top of the stairs.

“Spencer,” you called out, voice raspy from the hours without water. You’d tried to call out, to test the sound-proofing capabilities of the room but it hadn’t worked.

“Y/N,” Spencer practically gasped as though he’d gone this time without you also missing any chance at air. “Are you hurt? Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

Spencer was on you within a second, long fingers working nervously on the knots keeping your hands locked behind you.

“You know when I imagined me being tied up in a room with you, this isn’t how I thought it would go,” you tried to joke, your tone falling flat amidst the adrenaline drop at the knowledge of rapidly approaching safety. Your body had been trying to keep you alive and alert for well over twenty-four hours, it would make anyone exhausted even without a second life to think about.

“Y/N,” Spencer half-heartedly chastised, audibly sighing with relief as the rope around your wrists finally fell away. He took only a moment to rub life back into them, thumbs ghosting over the rope burn before he moved back around to your front to work on your ankles. “You scared me. I thought...I thought I’d lose the two of you.”

The two of you.

Spencer was scared of losing not just you, but the little baby you’d screamed over the day before. “You were scared for both of us?”

“I’ve always wanted children, Y/N, I just...couldn’t imagine how realistic it would be given my career choice. I needed time to process it, then you were gone and I thought...” There were no words needed to explain the thoughts, the images, that must have run through Spencer’s mind while you were taken.

“It’s okay, I’m okay,” you told him, hands rushing to push back his hair from his face the second they’d stopped trembling.

“We’re okay,” you thought to add a second later, trying to keep your hands on him because you knew the second the paramedics came down the stairs you’d be separated. “We’re okay.”

“It’s going to be difficult. I still don’t know how we’re going to handle it but I do know that we can figure it out together,” Spencer spoke hurriedly, practically in one rushed breath. “I can’t wait to start a family together.”

“I can’t wait for that either,” you spoke like a promise, keeping Spencer’s hand tucked between yours and your stomach until the paramedics asked him to step back, wondering how the case could have started so badly but ended with such a breathtaking moment.

GENERAL TAGLIST @samuel-de-champagne-problems @silverhetdanes @ssawonderland @reidsbookclub @katymarie @mrsobrien888 @writingquillsandpainpills @fightingdragonswithreid @lil-stark @raythefaye @stillsleepynat @this-is-doctor-and-its-calm @givemeth @foxy-eva @lilibet261 @exhaleli @darkeunology @nomajdetective @meggie-m00n @twofacesoftheworldbutnotsome @delicatespencer @serenity-lattes @goldentournesol @rexorangecouny @sultrypotter @reliefplease @mente-sindescanso @jj76889 @luna-novae @folkreid @nightmarewasteland @luredwithpretzels

ONESHOT TAGLIST @natashxromanovfreads @nano-noa

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid angst #criminal minds #spencer reid x fem!reader #pregnant!reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid fanfic #criminal minds fic #dr spencer reid #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x y/n #jay writes in theory

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anamericangirl · 7 months

Note

Hey there, I discovered your blog a few days ago and have been reading all your posts since, and I must say I like them very much. I do have one question though, on the topic of abortion. I wouldn't say I am pro abortion, because to me, all life is valuable. But what would you say if an underage girl was r@ped? Cases like this have occurred, there was even a girl that got pregnant at four years old, and had the child at five, which was a result of her uncle r@ping her.

In cases like that, would you say that abortion may be an option, maybe even a good one? She herself was only a toddler, and carrying out a pregnancy at such a young age is a great threat to both the mother and the child, and could mean the death of both. Also, in this specific case, it was %ncest, which could have fatal consequences for the child later on.

I'd just like to hear your opinion on this.

Hi! Thanks so much!

When a child, or anyone, is raped that is a horrific circumstance that absolutely needs to be addressed. And if that rape resulted in a pregnancy, that creates an even more delicate situation and it needs to be addressed in a way that causes the least harm and doesn't bring about even more violence.

The foundation of my pro-life position is that the preborn baby is a living human being from the moment of conception and their life is just as valuable as the girl carrying them, regardless of how they were conceived. Because of this, I can't support abortion even in cases of rape.

If a minor is raped and becomes pregnant, the thing is now we don't just have one person we have to consider and care for. We have two. Two children. Both innocent. We can't kill one innocent child for the sake of another.

This is also because I care about the child who was raped. Even though I can completely understand the fear and sympathize with the victim, the fact is, as I've discussed a lot on my blog, abortion isn't safe. And it remains not safe even if the person undergoing it is a child. A child should never be pregnant or have to go through childbirth, but nor should they ever have to have an abortion.

Even though a pregnant child is never a good thing, biologically speaking, if a female, regardless of age, is capable of getting pregnant, then her body is capable of undergoing the birth process. What the child needs is thorough medical care and monitoring because the best and safest thing is to go through the natural process instead of an invasive procedure that forces her body to birth a dead baby long before it's ready.

Abortion doesn't erase the baby. It kills them. And then it makes the mother deliver her dead baby and dispose of them. It's a horrific thing to happen.

The girl and the baby are innocent and we can help the girl heal from her traumatic experience without killing a different child whose only crime is existing. They can both live. Even if it's incest, the baby doesn't deserve to be killed. They deserve to be given a chance at life.

The fact is, once a girl or woman is pregnant, the baby has to be delivered somehow. There's no getting around that. Abortion doesn't erase this fact or erase the trauma of the rape. In fact, many rape victims have said getting an abortion did not help their healing. Everyone thinks giving birth once pregnant is the ultimate form of torture and trauma but it's not. And only people who don't know anything about childbirth and are just trying to villainize pro-lifers would call childbirth a trauma inducing experience. No, a child should never have to endure it but abortion would be no less of a traumatizing experiencing for a child. I think it would be horrific to give birth to a corpse. I don't think there is ever a time where killing an innocent child is a good option.

Abortion in cases of rape is just continuing the cycle of violence by killing a person who didn't do anything wrong and doesn't deserve it. It's not safer for a child to go through an abortion procedure than it is to give birth and as someone who cares about the baby and the rape victim I can't ever endorse abortion. There are always other, better options.

#anon #answered

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sassydefendorflower · 1 year

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For some time now I've harbored the suspicion that Ao3 and fandom in general is pretty anti-abortion. Not in a conscious, malicious way - hell no. I think it is an unconscious thing, something that sneaks into a lot of fiction in a way that isn't actively harmful, but has an accumulative effect.

And i get it.

Fanfic and fandom are escapism. They are there to present happy stories and happy endings, big What-ifs and endless coffee-shop AUs. It is easy to imagine these worlds as perfect enough that no one needs to have an abortion because only people who want children only ever get pregnant.

And on an individual level that is absolutely fine. Nobody has to deal with topics that make them personally uncomfortable, or deal with delicate discussions such as this in their free time entertainment. It's just...

A world without abortion isn't a happy one for everyone. Partially because it is a human right that is being threatened all over the world by conservative governments who want to take away the bodily autonomy to have one. And since such is the state of the world, there should be a room in fiction to explore the implications of this. The horror of some government having this kind of control over your body, but also the fantasy of a support system that is there for you should the need for an abortion arise.

Why am I typing all this? Because I just got a lot of hate on one of my fics dealing with abortion. And I think it is a symptom of a larger problem.

[ID: screenshot of an anon Ao3 comment saying: "Why do you worthless,brainless feminists try to tarnish this perfect stor y with your feminist baby murder propoganda? Why do you try to project your brainwashed,indoctrinated whore behaviour on characters as great as Edward and Winry? An abortion is NOT your decision. It is NOT your body and no amount of feminist screaming will change that. It is the fathers child too and your opinion is irrelevant. Abortion is murder, that's a fact. And no, I'm not religious. This entire story and your propoganda is utter TRASH. Rejected."]

[ID: another screenshot, also from anon: "NOT her body,NOT her choice. Different human being altogether. Keep wishing. Men will fully stop this practice of infanticide." Posted: 2023-06-18 05:09:47 UTC]

[ID: a third anon message that reads: Anonymous responded: "NOT her body,NOT her choice. That's a different, innocent human being altogether. And Ed is a strong,free man with a working brain. He's not your idea of "supportive husband" (aka spineless beta) who will support infanticide. This is not Edward and mlst definitely not Winry. She knows the value of life and exactly how hollow abortion arguments are. It is NOT a womans choice ever. NOBODY gets to decide to murder an innocent baby." Posted: 2023-06-18 05:08:24 UTC]

The fact that you should never send someone these kind of messages non-withstanding, this showcases a lack of respect and understanding that is simply baffling. There is so much hate in these comments. So much ire at women and people capable of having children in these words... it's frightening.

And I don't want to lock these stories behind moderated comments and limited access, because let me tell you something... these stories are for the people who need them most, the people who need positive and loving stories about making a hard choice and sticking with it. And often these people will only tell me about their own journey, their own struggle while on Anon themselves. And looking at the kind of response I've garnered... for a good reason.

Because it still isn't safe to openly talk about abortion.

Apparently not even on a website like ao3, which is generally assumed to be pretty liberal considering the general nature of online fandom.

Abortion is still seen as a taboo topic - in fiction and in real life. And this fear of openly discussing abortion makes people who visibly do vulnerable for attack. Be it authors like me who want to explore the bodily autonomy inherit in a fight for abortion, or the women and people who've had an abortion and are still frightened to talk about it.

If writing fiction dealing with abortion has taught me anything--- it's that people need and WANT these stories. Because no one else is writing them, but I really think some of us should.

The perfect world in which no one needs an abortion is useless, if people in the real world get hate mail for contemplating having one.

The next time your character has an unwanted pregnancy or is already surrounded by six kids or is very focused on wanting success and a career... think about why abortion isn't an option in your story.

Is it because it wouldn't make sense in your perfect fantasy? Is it because actually wanting kids is very inherent to this character? Or is it because deep down some part of you still thinks that having an abortion is some sort of sin?

It's no moral judgement I am making here - but you can only deal with an unconscious bias by examining it.

#fanfic #writing #abortion #ao3 #anon hate #discourse #fma #pro-choice #TERFs Fuck Off #fiction vs reality

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probablyasocialecologist · 11 months

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I’m going to be honest straight away. I think “Gender Critical” people* are radicalised and I think there is a lot of danger for many cis people on the periphery to follow them down that rabbit hole. I’m writing this essay in an effort to prevent radicalisation of any feminists looking in on the situation who haven’t made their minds up yet. I’m speaking to people who consider themselves feminists and don’t consider themselves transphobic. I’m speaking to people who don’t spend time accusing trans people of having fetishes, who don’t think selfies with Proud Boys are excusable, and who don’t think soup is worse than Nazis. If that’s you, I hope you read on and consider what I have to say in good faith.

[...]

Here’s what else I know for sure. Trans people are real people. Their lives are not hypothetical. While we are discussing this topic on Twitter like it’s a theoretical game, they are truly scared for the future of their rights. So far in the UK there has not been significant legislative change, but we’ve seen hundreds of anti-trans laws proposed in the US, from threatening to perform genital testing on young women in high school sports to revoking the medical licenses of doctors who provide affirming care to threatening to take kids away from parents who even socially affirm their child’s gender. These are real children. They are not fodder for us to argue over. How many trans people, adults or children, do you know in person? And what aspects of their well-being are you willing to risk for a theoretical argument?

[...]

I don’t think I’ll have to work very hard to convince you that whatever so-called values Tucker Carlson, Matt Walsh, Jordan Peterson or ACTUAL NAZIS have do not align with the values of radical feminists. I would suggest that the reason they are interested in the issue are because they see something you don’t. Right-wingers recognise women’s liberation when they see it, because they hate it so much. They have never been on our side. They never will be on our side. They do not respect our right to our own lives, our own bodies, or our own minds, so if they are agreeing with you on an issue of women’s rights, THERE IS A PROBLEM. You might be thinking that you and Tucker don’t see eye to eye on the basics of the issue: he is pro-gender stereotypes and you are against them. But where does this all end up? It pains me to point out the right is very often several steps ahead of us; the devastating destruction of Roe v Wade shows us that. What is in it for them? They get to divide the left, something the gender debate has been extraordinarily effective at. They get to distract feminists from real issues (again Roe v Wade, the cornerstone of American feminist achievement, has fallen). On this very trip, Posie Parker has been spouting anti-abortion sentiment for the minors who need abortion and birth control the most, and since becoming radicalised, she’s claimed that lesbian mothers weren’t really mothers, and that trans men (whom she views as women) should be forcibly sterilised. They get to paint the left as the real agents of hatred, as the real homophobes, as the people really trying to shut down debate. They get to watch as lifelong feminists start criticising women’s appearance and behaviour for not being feminine enough. They get to watch as lifelong feminists start to argue that male violence is not a product of socialisation, of entitlement, of broken legal systems that do not view women’s bodies as their own, but as something inherent to men. Something they can’t help. Something we shouldn’t even try to change. And they get to recruit you. And they are doing that with remarkable success.

#gender critical #lgbt #transgender #transphobia #radical feminism

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shesthedream · 7 months

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Before, After, and Forever - Chapter 1

Aaron Hotchner x fem!OC (Anya Decker)

Summary: Agent Decker is a phenomenal agent. She has been through hell and back and is unwilling to open her heart. But what happens when Agent Decker’s case lands in the BAU’s hands? What happens when it is decided that she is an asset to the team? And, most importantly, what happens when she meet the unit chief?

Series cw: canon topics, killers, hostages, rape mention, torture, scars, nightmares, flashbacks, slow burn, mentions of eating and body insecurity, yelling

Chapter cw: canon topics: killing, crime scenes

a/n: This is the new edited version!! Please leave suggestions for anything you might like to see in this story (like any tropes). I have a vision for how I want this to go this time around, but I would love to hear your suggestions!

It was accurate to say that Aaron Hotchner was surprised when him and his team were called into a meeting with the director of the FBI. As far as he knew the team was solving cases rapidly, filling out paperwork on time, and overall on their best behavior... well as good as it could get. Morgan had broken down a couple of doors and the team had collected a few nicks and scrapes along the way, but it was nothing out of the ordinary, and certainly nothing that could warrant a meeting with the director. Regardless of what it was, he was willing to take full responsibility for his team.

The team showed up at 8 in front of the building where the director requested the meeting. They looked worried. All of them. There was no lively chatter as their mornings would entail, no discussion at all. Everyone collected in the lobby, full of hustle and bustle, and waited to get scanned in. One by one they entered the elevator as a team: Rossi, Hotch, Prentiss, Morgan, Reid, JJ, and Garcia.

“It’ll be ok.” Morgan comforted Garcia who was especially nervous. She leaned into him, “I know” she replied solemnly.

The team stepped out of the elevator onto the 14th floor. This was unfamiliar territory for all of them except Rossi and Hotch. Both had previously attended meetings in the building, but never on the 14th floor. It was reserved for the director. “BAU for the Director” Hotch stated confidently to the secretary. “Meeting room 3, down the hall, first left, on your right” she barely even looked up. “Do you have any idea why is called us in?” Rossi asked, hoping for some kind of answer. “No idea, good luck” she replied and went right back to work. The team walked to the meeting room. Hotch knocked thrice clearly when they heard a brief “Come in”.

The team was greeted by the director as they shuffled in. “Good morning. Please take a seat.” As the last one in, Reid closed the door behind him and everyone sat down in the seemingly small meeting room, just big enough to fit all of them and another. Once they settled he began talking.

“I’m sure you all are wondering why you are here. We have a very important case from London. This killer’s M.O. is now appearing in the U.S. With no suspects in London and millions of people traveling everyday it is practically impossible to create a list of suspects. We decided it would be best for you all to assist in this case.” The director explained while passing out case files with crime scene evidence and M.O. details.

“Won’t there be issues with jurisdiction?” Rossi asked. “We have an agent who was working this case in London. She should be here in-“ He was cut off by two knocks and the opening of the door. In the doorway stood a woman holding 2 cups of coffee, a large black handbag, wearing a gray turtleneck, black leggings, and black heeled boots. She was short, Morgan thought she was a child at first glance because of her height.

“Hi. Morning.” She nodded at everyone, walking toward the director. Instantly the team began to profile her. It was hard to turn off. But they couldn’t figure out much until they saw the directors gaze soften as he looked up and saw her walking towards him. The stoic man cracked a smile as she placed one cup of coffee near his files. She pulled out a smaller bag out of her large bag and placed it near the coffee.

“How was your flight?” the director asked “I’m sorry for calling you in now. Did you have a chance to go home?” He followed up. “It was fine. I went home and I made you lunch.” Her answers were short and clipped.

“Thank you, you didn’t have to. And for the coffee.”

“Of course. Are they working the London case?” She look pointedly at the members of the BAU.

“Yes, I figured they could help. You’ve heard of the BAU, right?” They we’re speaking as if the team wasn’t sitting in the same room.

“Absolutely. Pleasure to meet you all. I’m Anya Decker. I've been working this case for the past few weeks, and I'll brief you at Quantico. I'll grab my files and head there. Thanks everyone."

And with that, she was out of the door.

"She's brief, to the point, and professional; don't be offended. She has all the qualifications; the receptionist will hand you her file on the way out. Thanks for coming." He shook everyone's hand on the way out.

As the BAU made their way out of the building, all the team members were left with questions. Questions they had no answers to. Hotch had the most, and he hoped her file would answer a few, but it was very basic.

"Anything interesting?" Rossi asked as Hotch scanned the file he was given

Name, birthday, age.

She was just 3 years younger than Hotch.

FBI history.

Excelled in all aspects of her FBI career. Started interning when she was only 19. Interestingly, she graduated from college with a behavioral science and psychology degree, but it didn't say which college. Maybe he would have Garcia follow up on that.

Team history.

She was a lone wolf. And he didn't know what to think about that. Should he trust her?

"Nothing more than the essentials," Hotch told Rossi. And it was true. Just the basics. It's not like they would be working with her for that long anyways. Right?

#aaron #aaron hotch fic #aaron hotch hotchner #aaron hotch imagine #aaron hotch x you #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner #criminal minds #bau #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotch fanfiction #aaron hotchner x female reader

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myopinionsarevalid · 12 days

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hi, i saw your post about topics to discuss and thought I'd mention the topic of gender dysphoria within radical feminism. I'm pretty new to radfem spaces/theory so apologies if this is common knowledge or this doesn't make sense! 😭

[for context: while I am gender critical and agree that a mental condition shouldn't necessarily be treated with body-altering surgeries and treatments, it's something i suspect i struggle with. I would never socially transition or get surgery, however I do feel like seeking a diagnosis and thus possibly HRT would help in some cases? My issue isn't really with "presenting as a woman," I know I am one and that's something I'm indifferent to (nor something that can be changed,) but for some reason I keep seeming to want to lean to a more masculine body? my goal wouldn't be to identify as anything but a woman so I'm not sure why i feel so strongly about wanting physical change.]

I'd love to hear you talk about your take on gender dysphoria and how it aligns with radfem ideals (i.e is it caused by how genders are socialised, gender stereotypes or something else) and tbh any take online that isn't immediately "you go king, now change your name and all of your legal documents and surgically remove ur boobs" would be really refreshing. idk if any of this made sense but i love ur acc please share some food for thought 🙏

Gender dysphoria is a real, proven mental illness that can affect a lot of people. There is also a very similar mental illness known as body dismorphia, which to my knowledge is commonly misdiagnosed (self-diagnosed majority) as gender dysphoria. Not wanting to change your gender, but feeling uncomfortable in your body, can be a sign of body dismorphia. I've experienced body dismorphia and thought that I was trans. I was very confused in my feelings, I hated my body, and I wanted to change. I realised what sparked those feelings and I was able to grow and change my feelings, and I am now comfortable in my body. I feel everyone that feels "gender dysphoric" should talk to a psychologist, and best case scenario try to differentiate whether your feelings are because of gender dysphoria or body dysmorphia.

#radblr #radical feminism #radical feminist safe #radical feminists do interact #radical feminists do touch #radical feminist community #feminism #gender critical #radical feminst #gender abolition #gender dysphoria #body dismorphia

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ladybellissima · 7 months

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Finding Love Katakuri x Reader Part 27

Slowly her eyes opened and (Y/N) found herself on the cold hard floor, while the morning sun shone brightly across her beautiful form. Her look wandered to Katakuri's vivre card and let her quickly got up from the floor. Weakly she made her way out onto the corridor and walked straight to the only person, who could help her right now. Pushing his office door open, (Y/N) was relieved to see Oven at his desk, but not only him. Brulee, Daifuku and other siblings were discussing something on high alert.

"What are you talking Oven! We have to leave immediately.", Brulee shouted pissed and smacked the table out of anger.

"Brulee! Don't get the wrong idea, I want to go too, but think about it. We have no chance. It would lead us into our despair! First Mama would never allow us to leave whole cake unprotected. Second there are sure High ranked Admirals. Do you believe that running in our death would help?", he growled back pissed and the next moment he fell silent after noticing (Y/N) 's presence at the door. Brulee turned around and shut her mouth bitterly after looking down to the beautiful woman.

In an instant (Y/N) could see by their shocked and uneasy expressions that they sure had some news about Katakuri.

(Y/N) didn't need to ask anything. Since Katakuri left, it was the main topic of their talks, the moment she stepped into his office. Oven was still progressing what he heard from the daily news. His whole body was a trembling mess. And out of all people (Y/N) came into his office. The only person he wished to avoid at all costs. How should he explain his brother's situation? How should he tell her that she was losing him?

"Good morning (Y/N)… There are no news. We are just discussing something important.", he lied bitterly to get time to think. Brulee and the others gave her a pitful look full of sadness. Narrowing her eyes about his awful try to lie, she watched his struggling. Sighing deeply about the fact that he really tried to hide information, she stepped before his desk with a serious expression.

"Tell me Oven. What's going on with my husband.", she spoke with pleading eyes. The look which always took his soft spot. Frustrated he avoid her strong gaze and stayed by his words to know nothing new. He just couldn't tell her. It was so unbelievable. It couldn't be real. (Y/N) could see how he was fighting with his inner self. He seemed helpless and it let herself get a shaken mess of fear. Brulee brushed through her hair in a lovingly manner, while tears brickled at the corner of her eyes.

"I know that Katakuri is in trouble….", (Y/N) started and placed her husband's vivre card on his desk. Confused he looked down and gave the piece of paper a closer look. After noticing the burning end and the powerful presence of his brother everyone gasp of shock.

" That's.. That's his vivre card. You have Katakuri's vivre card?", he spoke surprised and took it in his hands like a trophy.

"And most of it is still intact.. That's a good sign more or less in his situation..", he blurted out and stopped in his tracks after feeling (Y/N) 's strong look. He knew it would break her. And he knew that she had to face the awful truth sooner or later. Meeting her gaze he got up from his seat and walked around his desk to reach her side. His moves alone worsened her terrible feeling. Taking her hands she couldn't stop the tears to fall.

"(Y/N)… We heard from the early news that Katakuri got caught by the marines."

Gasping she could imagine what this meant for her husband. Oven hugged her small form and rubbed her back in a comforting manner.

"He is alive but … They will bring him to the marineford base G-1 and lock him away, till he will be… God damn it… Executed.", he spoke seriously and bite his lip of hearing the desperate cry of (Y/N).

"No… No…this isn't true..please we have to help him… ",she cried and fell onto her knees.

"(Y/N).. There is nothing we can do..", he spoke frustrated and had to surpress his own tears.

"But Oven… We can't just do nothing..there has to be a way.", Flambe cried bitterly beside (Y/N) and hugged her tightly. It was the first time that she was this close to her. But that wasn't important. Nothing was important right now. Only her husband was on her mind.

" Flambe… I already told you. What should we do? We are known pirates. Leaving the territory and attacking the marineford would be the death of us. There are Admirals out there, which are more than dangerous…and more than happy to kill one Charlotte after another. And whole cake would get attacked as well if we leave it unprotected. Plus Mama would be furious if we just leave everything behind and go… We already suffer from her punishment…", Oven spoke frustrated.

" I have to agree. It seems that we have to face our big brothers death… ", Daifuku spoke with a blank expression. The others gasp of his words and were shaken.

(Y/N) fell silent. Her look was focused onto the floor. Her whole body felt numb, while her mind was racing. She knew that things seemed helpless, but what was her life worth anymore without the man she loved? The answer was simple. Nothing. She would rather die while trying to save him, than giving up in the first place. But how? What could she do?

"Then let me go..", she whispered coldly.

Shocked everyone's look fell on (Y/N) while Oven took her hands to get her attention.

"(Y/N) what are you talking about? It's way too dangerous out there. You have no ability to fight. And there is no way that you will be able to get inside this place.", he tried to get her back to her senses, but her angered look let him stop.

" How do you know? Compared to you and everyone else here in this room, I am a person with no bounty on my head.", she shot back and took him off guard.

" But (Y/N) you are still a Charlotte. You are married to Katakuri.. This made you a pirate as well.. ", Brulee tried to cut in.

"Yeah and? Even if they know that. It was a political marriage. I am not a Charlotte by blood and did nothing wrong.", she spoke seriously. Looking into their surprised faces she knew that she got a point.

"I can't go on without him. I can't. Please give me a ship with a small team and let me sail to Katakuri. Even if they kill me with him. He won't be alone. I would be by his side. It's better than endure this nightmare here without doing anything..", she spoke frustrated and let the others cry of the thought to lose her too.

Suddenly a loud clash echoed through the room. Gasping they looked to Oven who broke his desk with a powerful punch in two.

"Stop it now (Y/N). It's enough. You will stay here.", he shouted and let everyone fell silent.

"Katakuri wouldn't want that. He wants you to be safe. I promised him to keep an eye on you, not letting you go to kill yourself. Those marines are bastards. You can't imagine what they are able to do. Just give up already. ", he watched her crying form bitterly.

Getting her husband's vivre card she left his office without another word and ran full speed back to her room. Smashing the door shut she pressed her body against the door and cried out desperately. Frustrated she grabbed a backpack and pushed everything she was able to inside. Never would she accept that. Never would she let him get through this alone. She had to be by his side.

"Oven…was that really necessary to shout at her.?", Brulee asked angered. Sighing deeply he gave his sister an annoyed look.

"Now I know why Katakuri was so restless all the time. She is way too reckless with her life."

"She loves him…"

Brulee's words took him off guard and let him fell silent. It pained his heart that (Y/N) had to go through that, but what should he do? God damn it he would gladly go on a rampage at the marine base. For a moment no one dared to say something.

"She won't run away or will she?", Daifuku cut through the uncomfortable situation and got everyone's attention. Eyes widened Brulee rushed out to get to (Y/N) 's room, which looked like it exploded. Clothes and other items were scattered across the floor, but the most important thing was that Katakuri's wife was nowhere to be found. The others catched up with their sister and looked into the empty room shocked.

"Quick look for her. She sure is on the way to the bay!", Oven shouted and everyone started to look for their beloved sister in law.

(Y/N) knew that they would soon find out about her leaving and sure would look for her by the ships. Hiding in her bath tube she slowly got out and left her room as well. Her silent steps reached the cellar of whole cake chateau.

" Luckily Pudding showed me everything in our free time.", (Y/N) whispered relieved and stopped before a bookshelf. Getting a key out of one of the many books, she thought that maybe Pudding did that on purpose that she would have a possibility to leave if something would happen. Like her current situation.

Opening a big double door (Y/N) stopped before Mama's special submerge candy I. Pudding showed her the high tech vehicle which looked like a big bonbon. The main room was the center, while the ends of the candy was used for the motors. Quickly she jumped in and get herself ready. It wasn't surprising that it was full of high tech equipment. There was everything she needed for this troublesome journey before her. A computer with a map, a small sleeping place, utensils to get herself cleaned up and even a bag with a high amount of bonbons and other sweets to eat. A pink bag got her attention with a familiar handwriting on it. With the words "use wisely" (Y/N) gave it a closer look. There were different colored balls inside and a small note.

"(Y/N) if you find these, then it means that you are in trouble and have to leave whole cake. I swore to myself that if Katakuri isn't there that I will look over you. This underwater ship is the fastest one of Mama's and the map shows you every route you want. The pink ball is a healing bonbon. It is able to heal your body in an instant. The blue ones are for supporting your body and strength. Use them wisely in need. Please be safe out there till Mama got back to her senses and Katakuri is by your side again.

Pudding. "

Gasping she felt a tear roll down her face. It really was on purpose if she got in trouble with Mama. Balling her fists motivated (Y/N) started the engine and tapped the name of the marine base into the computer. In an instant it showed her through a navigation system where to go. (Y/N) was grateful for the hours of lessons about maps and geography back then as a child. It always was annoying and boring, but now more than useful for her.

With full speed she left the chateau through the underground and quickly reached the open sea.

"Master Oven, servants heard some ruckus from the Underground.", some servants called out and let him froze in the spot.

"This can't be!!"

Getting back to whole cake with full speed they were watching the scene with horror.

"She took Mama's submarine ship!!!!", Oven and the others shouted shocked.

"How on earth was she able to do that! No one is allowed to touch it. It's her most expensive and loved ship!", Brulee cried terrifyed, while Pudding smiled weakly.

"Pudding? Did you….", Oven growled pissed, but stopped after seeing her tears.

"How unfortunate. How could she find the keys?", she awfully lied and left the others heartbroken. There was nothing they could do now. No ship would be able to reach her in time. And it would only cause her more trouble if they follow her and get everyone's attention.

" Please (Y/N)…. Don't die.."

xxx

At that very moment a horrible feeling washed over Katakuri's body, but he hadn't the time to think about it. Beaten up badly he was transported to the marineford and pushed before the doors. His wounded body met the dirty ground. Blood trickled down his forehead and let his vision got blurry. The doors opened and a tall figure stepped before his awful state. Gasping was heard and he noticed the marines around him bowing before this man.

"What do we have here…Finally we got someone from the Charlotte clan… On top a sweet general. A very known general I have to add.", the man spoke in a mocking tone. Lifting his head he was met with the intimating aura of Admiral Akainu.

"Admiral Akainu. It's a pleasure to meet you. It's a honor that you come all the way here for this scum.", Leutnant Zotto spoke frightened.

"Sure I had to see with my very own eyes that he is now in our hands. Good job Leutnant. I will think of a reward for your brave action.", he spoke and let the man smile brightly of proudness. Bowing respectfully Leutnant Zotto stepped aside to give his superior enough space. The Admiral got before the big mom pirate and watched his wounded body amused.

"How is it going Katakuri Charlotte? The man with the highest bounty. I hope you enjoyed your travel."

"Skip this nonsense and come to the point.", Katakuri spoke angered and watched the man without any fear, while the others gasped of his rudeness.

Chuckling he heated up his hand with his devil fruit power and slowly pressed it onto his back to push him down to the dirt. Gasping of the immense pain on his back he growled frustrated.

"We will have much fun together. After hearing the news I came all the way here to see you, Charlotte brat. I won't give you the pleasure to die here and now. You will talk. Tell us everything we want till we are satisfied. Then maybe I give you the sweet release of dying.", he spoke with a smirk, while Katakuri growled pissed.

" Don't waste your time. I will never betray my family and tell you bastards anything.", he spoke coldy and got another hurtful touch of the Admiral.

" We will see… We have all time in the world. "

#fanfiction #romance #katakuri x reader #karakuricharlotte #one piece #charlotte katakuri

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