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prettieinpink · 5 months

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NEW YEAR, NEW ME

( A collab with thee lovely lele @bloombabydoll )

If you want to reinvent and rebrand yourself, or just continue to make positive improvements in 2024, the first thing is to evaluate your current year.

EVALUATION

Reflect on how things went for you. Was there continuous growth? Were there many difficult times? Did you discover anything major about yourself and so on. Try to summarise your year in (a) paragraph(s) at least.

Oversee your goals. Which ones you didn’t, did achieve, difficult ones, easy ones and the impacts it had on your life.

Compare your dream girl then and now. Is your visualisation of your life currently different to the one you have now and why?

List any major losses or successes you’ve had in your life, and how they have helped you or why it matters to you.

This evaluation can be as detailed or simple as you like, but as long as you have a decent outline of your year.

PREPARING & PLANNING

To prepare for 2024, you want to know what you want life to be like in 2024. Something realistic to a point, but still is a growth journey.

Think of something that you can associate with 2024. This can be a word, a symbol, art, a song, a book, a movie, a place, or even just all of these things. When you think about your goals and your journey, this is your theme. This is something that should relate to your goals or your dream girl somehow.

For me, I chose a word and a song. My word is growth because, for me, 2023 was a year for just being able to shed my old self which I did achieve however I just felt there wasn’t much growth as an actual person and not just in my environment.

For my song, it is Mayflowers by Proleters and Taskrok. This song is the epitome of what I would imagine, is the most polished mindset. I would say perfect, but having a perfect mindset is near impossible. I want to have a mindset glow up because I’ve just been hard on myself lately which has caused my confidence to plummet.

Before we get into the fun part of the preparation stage, we have to do some organisation in our life. I want you to take a look at your daily lifestyle and your habits, and be completely unashamed about this.

Then categorise these habits into two sections; Leave and Leap. Leave habits are habits that you are leaving behind in 2023, leap habits are habits that are leaping into 2024 with you.

Any habits that are self-destructive, addictive or generally harmful are leave habits. Beneficial habits and self-building are leaping with you into the new year.

I want you to do the same for people in your life, all environments (school, work, online etc) and anything else you believe needs to be sorted out.

This works better if you can reason with yourself why it is a leaping or leaving habit, but don’t try to convince yourself a bad habit is good or vice versa.

Now, I want you to document an honest paragraph about who you are right now. List your bad and good habits, your strengths and weaknesses and your behaviours. This one requires a bit more detail.

Then, write a paragraph about who you will be in 2024, your dream girl. List her habits, lifestyle, behaviours, mindset, strengths and anything else extra. I’ll explain later but do not include materialistic desires in this your dream girl. Once again, this one also requires details.

Stemming from those paragraphs, I want you to create specific and achievable goals. SMART goals are best, but I want to introduce you to how I set goals.

I divide my year into quarters. For each 3 months, I have 3-5 goals for those months. Usually, it’s one from each area of my life. Then, I break down these goals.

Questions and How They Help

Why do I want to do this goal - For motivation and commitment.

How it’ll benefit me - For the sake of improvement.

How can I involve myself in this goal - To achieve your goal.

I prefer this method because it is a lot simpler for me, as I am just a young girl and my bigger goals are more in the future in which I’ll utilise SMART goals.

To create good goals; Make sure they align with your current values and life principles first. Try to avoid creating goals that you have just taken from the internet. Those goals just aren’t it and you most likely won’t follow through with it.

Be specific. Don’t say you want to eat more healthily, instead say you want to include (a certain group of veggies/fruits) in your diet and reduce the intake of ( food/drink).

E.g using eating healthy example

I want to eat healthy -> I want to start including foods that boost my immunity system and support my skin while reducing those that have the opposite effect.

Then break down those quarterly goals into monthly, weekly and daily goals. Make these habits that you can establish in your lifestyle and have a way in which you can refer back to your progress.

EXAMPLE GOAL BREAKDOWN

Quarterly Goal - Read 6 books.

Monthly Goal - Finish 2 books.

Weekly Goal - Be or near half way of one book.

Daily Goal - 20 minutes of reading per day.

AREAS TO SET GOALS IN YOUR LIFE

Academics

Spiritual

Fitness/sport

Health and wellbeing

Mental health

Personal life

Relationships

Hobbies and recreation

Now for the best part- vision boards! Collect all of your favourite images that embody your quarters or the whole year, then put them in one place where you can see them regularly!

Some ideas are a scrapbook, Pinterest boards, mood boards, playlists etc.

Choose your theme; It can be your healthy girl era, your academic come back or whatever you want. You can have more than two btw.

Use quotes! Then actually say them in your daily life as a way to shift your mindset to reflect said quote.

Include inspirational people. It doesn't even have to be a millionaire or a very well established person, it could be your friends or someone on the internet.

Be imaginative. Your vision board doesn't have to realistic in my opinion, as the whole point of it to me is that viewing it daily and considering it to be part of your life one day allows for you to open up to those opportunities.

Materialistic Wants

I feel obligated to make this a separate section. This section is practically tangible objects that you want.

However, when choosing this said object that you want, mindfully think about why you want that thing specifically.

It doesn’t have to be meaningful, but as long as each thing on that list has got a purpose to you, and will serve you, I think it’s all good!

Conclusion

If you want, you can definitely start implementing habits before January. However, I believe that as long as you go into 2024 at least knowing who you want to be and shedding away any limiting beliefs, you’ll be fine.

Make sure to incorporate some self care rituals into your daily life as well✨

To end this, I hope everyone has a very merry Christmas! And that 2024 they will achieve to close that gap with their current selves and their dream girl selves! 💖🙏

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kalki-tarot · 21 days

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PAC - WHY SHOULD YOU FOCUS ON YOURSELF INSTEAD OF YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE RIGHT NOW ?

Just meditate and ask your guides/higher power to provide you insight.

Allow me to tap into your energy. 🧿

My readings are always honest and I don't sugarcoat things, pls read at your own risk. And try to have an open mind. 🙏🧿💕

Pile 1

Cards - 7 of wands, 6 of pentacles, 8 of wands

Are you in a hurry to meet them? Your future spouse? You are rushing things and trying to get ahead of your circumstances or the present reality. You know what pile 1? You still have a lot of parts unhealed of your soul. And this is not allowing you to fly freely as you should. You may feel like your fears are greater than you, but trust me they are not. You have all the power over your fears!

In the hurry of meeting them, you are forgetting your own self. You need to love yourself first before loving someone else. You should give yourself more time to think and process things. You should try to ground yourself in the present. Try to do root chakra and sacral chakra healing. Your fears have created some energy blocks which aren't helping you at all.

Don't worry, your desire of wanting to meet the one for you is being addressed by the universe. You will get what you want. But you need to heal yourself first. Clear your karma and self doubts.

Pile 2

Cards - 10 of pentacles, 7 of cups, 4 of pentacles

Pile 2 my loves, are going through a spiritual transformation or awakening right now. You can't miss any steps in the journey right? Please focus on healing yourself more.

Okay, so I can see that you are trying to manifest love and abundance in your life or you are just dreaming and visualizing about it. Let me tell you this one thing, that it definitely is working in your favour but you also need to break the walls of protection that surround you. You are scared to go outside and meet new people. Dear, please understand that you need to get out of your dreams and delusions and actually step out of your comfort zone to meet your future spouse.

Your future spouse on the other hand are too trying to heal their inner child wounds. They are saying that you need to get stable in life. You lack grounded energy and are underconfident about a lot of things. Please try to let go of any insecurities that surround you. Because they are hampering your growth, pile 2.

Pile 3

Cards : Temperance, 7 of wands, 5 of cups

Do you have this tendency to get depressed whenever you don't get any messages from the pick a card readings of? Don't be dependent for love on anyone, not even your future spouse. Love them, but stay away from unhealthy attachments. The reason of their no communication is because they are busy. They are working hard in their career right now. And you too should now focus on your career and goals.

Everything is well when taken in moderation. Balance love and career both logically and like a healthy human being please. You also have this tendency to run away from problems or sadness and indulge yourself in overworking don't do that.

Some of you could be in same sex relationships and you are thinking that things won't work out. Well, things would work out if you make them work out. Try to take bold decisions and stand for that decision.

Don't look back at the past, this is the final step to meet your fs. Just keep going.

Pile 4

Cards : Strength, 9 of cups, 4 of swords

You lack compassion for your own self. You are someone who gives everything to others but feels bad for giving it to yourself. You may connect well with plants and animals or just nature in general. Try to work on your self worth and don't critisize yourself too much.

You have many things to deal with right now. You have many parts unhealed. Try to relax and rejuvenate more physically as well as mentally and spiritually. It'll be good for your overall well being. Try to play with pets or just stroll in nature for sometime to refresh your mind.

You feel like there's so much competition somehow (?) And try to give yourself small rewards for accomplishing tasks. Try to celebrate your small successes please. You need to celebrate yourself more in order to attract the right partner for yourself.

You need to be in the energy of self love and good self worth to attract good partners who emit the same frequency. Do you understand? Lots of love to you.

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xxblairexxss · 20 days

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Cookies!

Pairing : dad!Jude Bellingham x reader

Them : Angst, I think.

Word count : 2k

Jude had a bad day and it seemed like a cookie wasn’t enough to cheer him up.

I haven’t written in soooo long. Apologize for any mistakes. Might delete this one. I don’t know. Sorry! Should start writing more. 😔

Jude and you were highschool sweethearts. Back when eveyone thought you guys wouldn’t make it because kids in love? Yeah, who would have thought you guys could pull through.

But you did.

There were ups and downs especially at the beginning of his career. Those multiple rumors and gossips came flooding all at once and you went from a normal girl to someone who was known to have a famous boyfriend. They ven called you “the girl who hit the jackpot”.

Some even called you lucky.

A few months after your marriage, Jude and you were blessed with a little girl named Aaralyn. Jude was a perfect father figure to her though to be honest, her arrival wasn’t really align with the immense growth of his career but he managed to balance it all out.

But there were still ups and downs.

The small little hand was flipping through pages of pages from your baking cookbooks whilst her other hand kept on tapping on her chin. Her soft little hums filled through the air.

“Have you make up your mind, honey?” You asked whilst rummaging through the cupboards to take out every baking tools needed.

Jude had been feeling under the weather these days. He tried to hide it from you as he always did but you always catch on it. You knew him very well.

And so did Aaralyn.

Apparently, your little girl was fully aware of it too. Aaralyn woke up this morning and came up with an idea to bake cookies for Jude because it was her favourite and based on her logic, whatever foods that made her happy, should made others happy just as much.

“Mommy, we… bake choco cookies!”

You let out a cackle. “You flipped through the whole book just to decide with a basic one?”

“It’s Alyn’s favourite!” Her small little hands started patting on her chest with a proud expression written all over the face.

“Of course, baby. Can you let mommy see the ingredients, please?” You were about to pull the book closer to your side but your duaghter was quicker.

She snatched the book back with her lips jutting out. “Alyn can read!”

“Okay, read it out loud while mommy gather all of the ingredients, yeah?”

“This one says..powder!” Her little finger pointed to the first ingredient on the list.

“What kind of powder?”

“Co— cocoa powder, mommy! This one..” The little finger then slid to the second ingredient.

••

Your little girl’s eyes widen when the sound of a car came from the garage. There was no other car that could have parked in the garage except for your husband’s.

“Daddy is here! Mommy, daddy’s here! We need to be faster!” She made a hop sound as her dangling little feet touched the ground and scrambled to get her princess plate from the cupboard.

“Use Alyn’s plate!” She lifted her pink coloured plate up high for you to place one of the baked goods.

The sound of the door slammed put your little conversation with Aaralyn to an end. There were no words exchanged as both of you stared at Jude. He threw his bag on the couch, the things inside hit with some of your daughter’s toys.

“Alyn, I told you to clean up your toys, didn’t I?” The tense in Jude’s voice was enough to make his mood known to the rest of the family members.

“Uh-oh, mommy wait!” Your daughter tiptoed to place her plate back on the kitchen counter before scrambling to the living room.

You were looking from afar as she straighten her arm to grab on her little toy whilst Jude was ignoring her existence, eyes solely on his phone.

“Daddy, can help me? Please?” Aaralyn mumbled a little as she patted on her dad’s laps.

“You should clean up your own mess. We talked about this yet you still refuse to learn.” He stood up, picked up the bag which he threw earlier and headed straight to the bedroom, leaving your little girl alone.

You saw she brought her little hands close to her chest, lips pouting as she stood there, completely baffled with what just happened.

“Baby, it’s alright. Mommy will help you.” You picked up your daughter’s toy box and brought it closer to the couch, Aaralyn then made a little noise as she jumped on the couch to gather all of the toys left.

“Daddy might be feeling a little sad today. I’m sorry about what happened, sweetheart.” You cupped on her chubby cheeks to give them a little kiss.

“It’s awright! Daddy will be happy after my cookie!” She squealed.

Your brows lifted, smile widen as she mentioned the main point of the day. “You are right! I forgot about the cookies. Should we bring it to daddy?”

“It’s okay! Alyn will do it.”

You trailed behind as she ran back to the kitchen, boths arms high up in the air to get her plate back.

“Be careful!” As soon as you handed her plate back, she already made her way to the room where Jude went.

“Alyn will come back after I make daddy happy!” Her voice sounded afar as she ran to the hallway.

Aaralyn’s pace stopped in a sudden as she nearly hit the closed door. There came a new problem as she couldn’t knock on the door whilst holding the plate.

“Uh-oh..” The soft little mumble slipped out from her mouth.

“Daddy? It’s me!” The back of her hand hesitantly knocked on the door as she took a step back, waiting for a response.

Jude heaved a sigh, arm propped up to cover his eyes. He wished a second for himself and he got was continous knocking sound greeting his ears.

“Daddy…?”

“Daddy!” She crouched down to carefully put the plate on the floor before bringing both of her fists thumping against the door.

“It’s me, Alyn!”

“What do you want from me?!” The inside of the door banged agaist the wall of the bedroom as Jude opened the door. There was nothing but tense in his voice.

Jude saw his little girl struggling to stand up straight with the plate of cookies right as he brought his gaze on her.

Startled by the sudden loud noise, some of the cookies in the plate fell onto the floor. Most of the perfect sized cookie now turned into little bits and pieces.

“Alyn just�� just wanna give daddy a cookie…” Your little girl immediately cut the vexed gaze from Jude, her head hung low and she bit on the inside of her cheeks.

“You are making me suffocated. I need a fucking break and I can’t even do that in my house?!”

“Sorry daddy…” Her words turned into a mumble, lips started trembling.

Jude heaved a sigh when he spotted the cookie crumbles now all scattered on the floor. “Great, another mess. Clean it, Alyn. Now!”

Hearing the voice of your husband gradually got louder and louder, you immediately flipped the main valve. You barely had any time to wipe your hands as you scurried to the bedroom where you saw your little girl crouching on the floor, her little chubby hands quivered as she picked up the mess she did.

“Jude! What was that for?!” Fuming, you pushed him by his chest, tears welled up in your eyes.

“I just need a rest, Y/N,” He rolled his eyes with no hint of guilty.

“You could have just said so instead of cursing to my daughter. She did nothing wrong!”

“She should have just left me alone. No one gives a fuck about a fucking cookie right now! I couldn’t play for 2 months and you didn’t even ask me if I’m doing fine!” Jude responded back, not giving any sign to back down nor to tune down his voice.

“I know you aren’t doing fine. Alyn knows it as well. In fact, she knows it better than me. She planned all this. She planned a movie night, we waited for you to come home only to find out you spent a night at Vini’s without telling us beforehand. Alyn wanted to cook your favourite food. We did and you weren’t able to come home again. She then decided to bake her favourite cookies, thinking it could cheer you up only for you to shout at her face. Is it her fault that you have to rest for two months? That you had to lash it all out on her? Do it to me! Scream in my face, Jude! Do it.” Jude didn’t flinched when your fist repeatedly hit on his chest.

“This isn’t about you, Y/N.” He breathed out.

“So, is it about your daughter? Is that why you lashed out on her?”

Instead of saying anything else, he heaved a sigh and made his way to the bathroom.

You went back to where your little girl was sitting. The tears stain were immediately gone as you quickly wiped of your cheeks before crouching in front of her.

“Come, baby,”

Your little girl pulled her hand back from you and went back to picking up the crimbles. “Daddy— daddy asked Alyn to clean up this mess first or daddy will be mad again…”

Your heart broke when she kept her head low. Aaralyn always loved to make eye contacts, she had always been the mood maker in the house.

“Mommy will clean up the mess. Can you go back to your room, please, baby?”

“Daddy won’t be mad..?” She lifted her eyes and you were greeted a pair of puffy eyes, her cheeks were more round as she jushed her lips forward. She looked exactly like Jude and it broke the dam of your tears.

“Daddy won’t be mad at you anymore. Go back to your room? Mommy will see you once I clean this all up, alright?”

Jude clearly forgot what happened after. He was literally losing the grasp on time as soon as he woke up from his nap. The blanket was pushed aside as he grabbed on his phone. The brightness made him squint his eyes. The picture of you and your little girl greeted his sight.

3:02

Even in the dark, without him having to turn his head aside, he could still feel the bareness. He wasn’t sure what it was yet. Not until he tapped on the other side of the bed.

It was empty. Untouched even.

“Honey?”

His heartbeat gradually turned even faster as every call was left unanswered. You were a light sleeper. Even a slight noise could have woken you up. Soon as he left the master bedroom, his feet bought him to your little girl’s room. The light was left on but there wasn’t any sight of his baby girl too.

“Aaralyn. Honey?”

Jude went uneasy. His skin turned sticky as he broke intol cold sweats. Part of him wished all of this was just a dream. Before he reached the main door, he caught a glimpse of a pink coloured plate on the dining table with some sort of yellow coloured paper by its side along with a box of crayon pencils.

“Daddy’s

— Aarlyn ❤️”

••

You could have brush it off if it was only between you and him but not to your little girl. Aaralyn was clearly upset. Even when you packed her stuffs, she remained seated at the dining table, staring at her remaining cookie.

As you rearranged her folded clothes into the luggage, she came back into her room, looking determined as if she had to get something done. You let her be as she ran back outside as she took out her crayon set with a piece of paper from her notebook.

Unknown to you, she actually wanted to leavr a little message to her very first love.

“There! For daddy!” She mumbled, the crayon in her hand was slipped back into the rest of the set as she left the paper right beside her plate. Her little hand then rearrange the cookie right in the middle. Not before she took a small bite at the corner of it.

“Daddy will like it…” She murmured with a small smile on her face.

“Come, baby. We gotta go.” You called out to your little girl, voice half whispering not to wake Jude up. After all those things that he did, you dtill couldn’t believe he had the audacity to just call it a night.

“Okay, mommy!” Aaralyn hopped off the chair and ran to you as you crouched down to put on her shoes. As she remain still with her little leg on your lap, she sticked her index finger in her mouth, eyes locked at the dining table area.

“What are you looking at, sweetheart?”

“Alyn forgot to keep my crayon…” She answered.

“That’s alright. Just leave it be.” You picked up your luggage bag, your free hand locked on your little girl’s wrist.

“Mommy, where are we going? Aaralyn asked.

“Daddy needed some time alone so it’s just gonna be you and me.”

#football imagine #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham fics #football imagines #football fics #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham blurb #jude bellingham fic #jude bellingham imagines

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mcu-coworkers · 10 months

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Jealousy

Summary: Miguel can't seem to get his way and for reasons he couldn't believe.

Word count: 2k+

Warnings: None(sneaky Miguel)

A/n: here is pt.3 I hope you guys enjoy I will be giving a pt.4 which will be the final part if anyone would like to be tagged just let me know and I'll be happy to! I hope I got every one who wanted to be tagged in Pt.3 there were so many of you and I just want to sat thank you from the bottom of my heart for loving my story! I hope you guys enjoy!xx

Tags list: @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @m4zapan @luciiferian @stinygirl009 @anonymoussomebody345 @watamoteru @smolrain08 @amberpanda99 @hantheconqueror @mhm-ok-sure @chuckle-nuts. @a-helpless-romantic @witchofwhimsey @rin-matsuoka345-blog @cherripunch26 @anneliese500 @theleftkittycollection @ok-boke @nanushkka @gugggu6gvai @joestarbitch @distractionforyourthoughts @tanchosanke @lokiseason @hao-ming-8 @sport-lova @munixumai @capybaraaa . @dearrdarlingg @riddle-me-im-sirius @melovetitties @liyanahelena @bat1212 @christinesdemoness1958 @musicpookie @luujjvi @ilovejeansosomuch @m0chac0ffee @perrierbottleofproblems @zayxcc @shyshyshy-19 @futuristicpandakid @lilyevans1

Parts: One Two Three^ Four

Credits to the owner:)^

It had been quite a few months since you removed yourself from the spider society.

You thought that in doing so you lost your friends but Pete, Hobbie, and Gwen all stuck by your side and visited you every now and then.

Not all at once, you didn't want Miguel to figure out that they were coming to you and yell at them for it or worse, come too.

In that aspect everything was great.

When it came to your healing journey, you had good days and bad days.

Or more like bad nights.

During the day you kept busy working in your world's Alchemax, and at night you dealt with spider business which was slow this time around.

This is when you found yourself thinking about him.

The silence of the city only made your thoughts louder and all they reminded you of was Miguel.

But you hadn't given up on your promise to yourself, you would move on.

And then you decided to get a dog.

He was the best choice you could have made, your sweet little milo.

May Day absolutely loved him, she wanted to bring him to her birthday party but to be honest you didn't even know if you’d be taking yourself.

Pete didn't want to hide anything from you so he told you as soon as he found out that Miguel actually agreed to not just let him throw her party at HQ but go to it as well.

Risking him speaking to you and ruining all of your growth was not in your plans.

You had to be honest with yourself, if Miguel spoke to you with the slightest warth you knew you’d break so for your own sake staying away from him was best.

So, that's where you were with all of this, sitting on a rooftop enjoying a slice of pizza thinking about whether you should show up tomorrow or not.

Deciding to call it a night on saving the city you swung home looking forward to Milo’s greeting cuddles.

Back at HQ Miguel watched as everyone scurried to put together the decorations for May Day's birthday.

The chaos was loud and he almost regretted agreeing to it.

“Ay dios.” he mumbled as he walked past Gwen and Hobbie pretending they were there.

“So you think she’ll come? May Day is her favorite spider. She wouldn't miss it, right?” he heard Gwen say.

Suddenly he froze.

“There is a chance if you ask me. I believe in her.” Hobbie replied webbing up the sign he was putting on the wall, much easier than tape.

Miguel began walking again hoping no one would notice how he stopped to listen in on the conversation.

Walking into his office space he called for Lyla, “Give me the list of spiders coming to this party.” he said pulling up his screens.

“But boss, that's hundreds?” she asked confused but the request.

“That's fine, just give it to me, Please.” he asked, growing impatient with his AI.

“Alright calm down here it is, Who are we looking for anyways?” she said, sliding it over to him.

“No one, just making sure its a safe list.” he said looking over his shoulder.

Bles mary janes heart for added the yes, no and maybe option it made him easier to see who was actually coming.

All the names had a yes except for one, one big red MAYBE and it was next to yours.

Shoulders dropping in slight disappointment he let out a sigh.

These past months he’d been gloomy.

The only time he perked up was at the mention of your name, but sadly that's as close he got to you these days.

He found out that Pete, Hobbie, Gwen and even fucking Miles anomaly Morales snuck off to see you.

He was jealous.

He hated that you let them into your life.

Each time they came back laughing about something you said, he was jealous.

Everytime they mentioned a fun moment you shared, he was burning in jealousy.

It made him sick.

His blood boiled knowing someone else was making you laugh when he just wanted to have you to himself.

He liked it when you spent hours in his office “helping him” with reports.

He only ever gave you simple tasks just to keep you at his side.

To watch your face when you were focused on the footage, the way you bite your lip when you think you're getting close.

The way you kept eye contact and showed interest in whatever it was he said made him think about other things you could do together whilst keeping eye contact.

God, you drove him insane in the best way.

But not having you close like that was driving him insane in the worst way.

Spiders voluntarily left him alone now not wanting to cross him on a bad which now was very frequent.

The only reason he stuck around at the end of team briefings was to see if he’d hear any news on you.

He didn't think anyone noticed his intent, But then there was Jess always on his six.

She knew from day one that you had fallen, but oh was he gonna fall harder and he did.

She saw the way he searched for you in a room, how he’d ask you and only you to help him on reports.

Nothing went past her.

“Did a villain sneak onto the list?” she said, creeping up behind him.

Quickly removing the screen he looked over his shoulder letting out a simple shrug to answer her.

“Just want to see who I‘ll be dealing with for the evening.” he said trying to cover up his annoyance.

“Anyone stand out?” She asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Nope. All good.” he said standing up, “ I‘ll see you tomorrow Jess, get some rest.” he said leaving his office.

Smiling to herself, Jess knew he was slowly breaking down.

All it would take to finish the job was see you.

She knew you had RSVP’d to come yesterday but she made Lyla change it just to confirm her suspicions further.

And he did just that.

----

Mentally preparing yourself for today was the hardest part.

You planned out your evening.

Go in, greet everyone, stick to Hobbie, Gwen and Miles, hold May Day, and then make the excuse that Milo had an accident and you had to get back home.

A solid plan.

Suddenly a portal opened and in walked Hobbie, “My lady.” he greeted extending an arm.

Taking his hand you stood up, “Oh, one sec.” you said as you sent a signal activating your suit.

“Woaahhh the new suit is wicked.” he said watching it go on.

“It's nano tech, you like it?” you said as it reached up to your neck before stopping.

“Killin it, as always.” he said before walking into the portal.

Well, here goes nothing.

“Be good Milo, Mommy will be home soon.” you said, patting his sleepy head before walking in.

Deep breath, here goes nothing.

Walking in you put on your brightest smile.

“Hey! There she is and get a look at this suit, this new? I like it!” Peter yelled, taking your hand and spinning you.

“Hey guys! Nice to see everyone again, Miles nice to meet you.” you said laughing.

“Nice to meet you, very nice lady, thank you for not hunting me down.” he said, shaking your hand viciously.

Laughing at your inside joke you pulled him in for a hug secretly taking a peak over his shoulder.

You could feel his stare on you, you just didn't know from where.

The party went on as planned, you stayed cautious, had a good time with your friends and held May Day until she eventually fell asleep.

Everyone told you that you had a gentle way when it came to kids so falling asleep just came to them naturally.

Taking that as your sign to leave you handed her over to Mary Jane and went to go look for Hobbie.

“Hey, has anyone seen Hobbie?” you asked not being able to find him.

“Rooftop, girly pop.” you heard Jess say as she hugged you goodbye.

“Oh great, we can open a portal there. Bye guys guess I‘ll see you around.” you said waving to the rest of the spiders.

Making your way up you looked around the rooftop to find it empty.

Huh. Maybe he went for a swing. You thought looking over the city.

He’d been told a couple times not to but that only made him do it more.

“He’s not here.” you heard behind you. Well shit.

“Thanks Jess.” you heard making you chuckle to yourself.

Of course.

“Well then it makes no use to stay up here.” you said turning to walk away.

“Wait, just give me a second.” he said, reaching out for you.

“One. Welp there is it and look I've given you five extra just by standing here.” you said sarcastically.

Trying to leave once more he actually Physically got in your way this time.

“Please.” he said trying to get you to look at him and you could've sworn you heard sincerity in there.

“Fine. talk.” you said crossing you arms sitting on the ledge trying to create some distance.

“ I am sorry,” he blurted out.

“ I don't forgive you. We done here? Great.” you said standing up ready to bee line it for the door.

Your tactics were failing you and your front could only last for so long.

“No no wait just-” he was cut off by a beeping sound coming from your suit.

It was your alarm for Milo’s dinner time.

Gasping you stood up from where you sat.

“Oh Milo.” you said turning off the alarm.

“What? Who the fuck is Milo?” he said anger began to rise up in his chest.

“Really wish we could finish this but I‘m late to a very important dinner with someone who does respect me, so excuse me.” you said finally getting past him.

Stunned by your response he watched you walk past him.

Who in the actual fuck was Milo and what rights did he have over you?

Following you back into the party he watched as you asked Pete to get you back home.

“Oh yeah sure, How's Milo by the way?” he asked while opening the portal.

Again with this fucking Milo.

“Oh he's really great, miss him more every second we're apart.” you said, putting your hands on your hips.

Time was moving real slow right about now.

But for Miguel it was moving a little too fast, he didn't want you to get back to Milo.

He wanted you here, patching things up with him.

“Gotta love Milo am I right? May Day sure does.” he said, quickly shutting up when he realized Miguel was still there.

“Well thanks for the portal, tell Mj the party was great, take care pete.” you said hugging him goodbye.

Just as you are about to be free Miguel grabs your hand.

“Will you come back, Please?” he asked, the desperation in his voice could be heard from miles away.

“ I don't think so Miguel, it took me a while to realize that there was nothing wrong with me. And Milo helped with that even if it's just been a couple of months and I‘m still getting the hang of things. He loves me for it and he needs me.” you said, smiling at the thought of your sweet little furbaby.

Standing up straight Miguel let your arm go, “Lucky Milo.” was all he said before you took it as your queue to leave.

Defeated by the night's outcome he went back into his office and let out some frustration on the nearest machine.

There it was again, feeling sick of jealousy.

Someone else had your attention, time and love.

And all he had was your rejection.

At this point in time Miguel wished he was anybody else other than himself.

And just like that jealousy started following him wherever he went, never letting him go.

All because of some Milo.

#marvel #marvel men #spiderman #across the spiderverse #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel spiderverse #miguel x reader #spider-man 2099 #miguel #oscar issac fic

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internationem · 2 months

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Just a reminder: intent is much, much more important to genocide than the amount of people dying. simply put, the amount of dead civilians isn't what makes a genocide a genocide.

for example, up to 33k bosnians are estimated to have died because of the bosnian genocide. in contrast, the estimated amount of japanese civilians dead during WWII is between 330k and 900k. yet most (serious) people wouldn't ever consider that there was a genocide against the japanese people. why? well, no government wanted to, planned or carried out systematic attacks with the intent of erasing, in whole or in part, the japanese people. yet, however, it is fairly easy to prove that the serbs wanted the bosnians gone and acted accordingly. You can even fullfill the material criteria for the Genocide Convention (ie killing people, or causing body or mental harm to a population) to a certain extent but if the intent behind those actions isn't to destroy a national/ethnic/etc group, then it's not genocide, the fullfilment of the material elements themselves aren't proof that there's a genocide without fullfilment of the mental element.

This isn't to overlook civilian deaths, but truth is, in modern warfare, civilians ARE gonna die, and that sucks massively, but we have a a whole branch of international law that help mitigate a lot of civilian deaths and allow for criminals to be held accountable for violation of civilian rights and livs, without having to erroneously call every single conflict where people die a genocide.

Similarly, it may be true that a lot more people are dying in the Israel-Gaza war than in the 7/10 attacks, but why did Hamas attack Israel in the first place? Why has Israel been attacked fairly frequently since it's independence? Because they want to completely erase Israel as a whole and expel (and kill, or best case scenario, convert) the jewish people out of the Middle East. This is very easy to prove, read Hamas founding charter and literally any history book that talks about wars against Israel or the expulsion of Jews from several ME countries. It's what the whole "from the river to the sea" slogan is about. It's also the very reason Israel needs to exist. But meanwhile, there's little to nothing that points out Israel wants to wipe out Palestinians as a group: 20% of their citizens are Palestinians who enjoy the same rights as Jewish citizens of Israel and aren't targeted, even Palestinians of the West Bank aren't usually targeted in a way that would even imply the IDF wants to erase them as a group, and even considering the Gaza campaign, its objective is to erradicate Hamas, not Palestinians, and nothing in Israel's policy outwardly implicates they want to erradicate all Gazans. Palestine, and especially Gaza, has massive population growth, which wouldn't make sense if there was a genocide campaign against them. This isn't to say the IDF is doing everything perfectly or that there aren't war crimes being commited. But war crimes don't mean genocide.

Calling what's happening in Gaza genocide is antisemitic, because not only are we applying different standards to Israel than we do any other country, we are also saying that Jewish people defending themselves is, inherently, a crime, one of the worst crimes defined at that. But it's also harmful to palestinians, because claiming that Israel's war against Hamas is a war against Palestinians equates Palestinians (many of whom just want to live regular lives, not war) with terrorists (who also target them, by the way), which seems islamophobic as hell if i'm being honest. it is also insensitive and damaging to every group that has been the victim of genocide, and every group which might be a victim of a genocide in the future, because how you're twisting the definition of the word to mean whatever you want it to mean. If everything is a genocide, nothing is.

#sincerely an IR major tired of people not knowing what words mean #i stand with israel #i stand with palestine #israel #israel gaza #palestine #hamas #israel palestine #genocide #hamas is isis #free palestine #free palestine from hamas #antisemitism

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taylortruther · 2 months

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I actually agree with you 100% on all long-term relationship breakups being pretty much the same. When you've loved someone for so long, it means they're also part of your routines, part of your comfort, part of your home and part of your family. Their family becomes your family, their friends become your friends, their hopes and aspirations become things you care about as well as their struggles. The reasons why the rs starts falling apart aren't as simple as one or both parties no longer "being in love", but rather a combination of issues: career ambitions intolerable to the relationship for various reasons, incompatibility of personalities or of extended families, growth at different paces, the goals and wishes agreed at the start of the rs changing with time, loss of trust and connection, etc. I thought of this the other day when an anon mentioned the movie Blue Valentine, and I think the reason why that film feels so realistic (and devastating) is because all long term relationships slowly desintegrate in similar manners to what happens to the couple in the movie. And piggybacking off the discourse we had on The Alcott, it's quite desperating and frustrating to slowly realize that things that once were profoundly sacred have come to feel like a curse; you no longer feel like you're choosing everyday to be with this person out of love, but rather that you're emprisioned to them.

What we know about TTPD department so far makes me think this will be explored but not in the way many fans seem to be expecting (not you guys lol but I have seen ppl that expect the songs to be sassy, petty, and accusatory). Instead, I think we will see her show and deconstruct all the ways she fought for it to work, compromising, committing, twisting herself into a pretzel, and making herself smaller, not because he was "forcing her" like some fans think but rather from her own decision bc that's just how much she loved him. Which is even more devasting if you think of it: she locked herself away, tried to dim her shine, beared emotional burdens alone because of her own conviction and desire to make things work, not as a result of him "making her" do all of that. So imo one of the reasons this album will be particularly devastating is bc we will learn in a very raw manner just how much she loved this man and how much she was willing to give up for him, and how much regret she probably has about things she did for him that at the time felt like a no-brainer but in hindsight seem ridiculous (which is a very common thing for everyone bc that's simply what you do when you love someone; love isn't usually rational). And this will undoubtedly be very relatable for ppl who have been in ltrs that ended bc, as you say, most of them end in the same way and most of us realize how much we actually sacrificed for it only after the fact.

i agree!!! also, we know taylor never does anything by halves. we know love is basically a religion of drug to her. we know she felt that he believed in her and loved her for her at a time when she felt she was distinctly unlovable. we know she fought hard to deal with her baggage. we know she was reflecting on fame, how fickle it is, and why she wanted it so badly (miss americana doc, mirrorball, midnight rain, to name a few.) we can look at midnights to see the things that were haunting her and they were things like: dealing with fame, choosing the hard way, reckoning with loss of self, wanting to protect love that felt fragile, blocking out noise, the empowerment and loneliness of relying on oneself. midnights feels like a very honest and logical progression past folkmore, which discussed those topics as well as infidelity, taking up space, confronting depression and pain and other sticky human desires. ttpd feels like it will further touch on these complicated and sticky and dark topics, with the added "bonus" of the specter of a breakup, and the breakup itself, haunting them. anyone whose ever lost a part of themselves to try and save a relationship of any kind will understand, i think. love is a beast that way.

#a black dog you might even say #predictions #ttpd

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tiyoin · 27 days

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i'm curious about yuu 👀 and their friendship before twisted wonderland. does he genuinely have feelings for the reader or is he just playing with the people that likes them?

oh it’s definitely both BXJAHAHDJ

yuu just wants to watch the world burn, but they’re also forcing reader into a ‘tough love situation’

yuu really wants to see reader succeed!! while they don’t mind reader’s hovering since they’re besties for now they do want them to spread their wings.

but here’s the thing. in this ‘series’ yuu is more… controlling, then the canonical yuu. mainly because of the ‘introvert extrovert’ roles they’re categorized into when they’re in public.

while reader is more out going with the right people, yuu is… yuu, effortless charm and that hidden script reader wants so. badly.

also yuu has a crush on reader 🤭 that’s just how the cookie crumbles ya know 🤭 it’s always been there in their old world, but now that they’re in this world yuu can have them all for themselves… in a romantically sense anyways.

but here’s the thing, when reader starts to spread her wings and make connections, they’re not going to always be around yuu anymore. opting to strengthen maybe 1 or 2 friendships they’re able to get and spend time helping those friendships flourish.

it goes from 100 to 45 real quick for yuu and it’s head-spinning for them. and you know what. yuu doesn’t like the mug on that guy. he’s getting a little too close to you, so you gotta be careful okay!

did you hear that ‘[insert character] has a really weird / toxic trait you don’t vibe with at all and yuu knows that and purposefully tells you???’ oh, yuu just heard it from the grape vine… let’s get food now!!

yuu is a devious little shit in this 😈

because if you have $100, are you gonna show the world? OFC NOT!! you’ll keep it to yourself and spend it how you want. but there will also be signs…

so yuu is basically lowkey hoarding reader, but also letting them grow enough that it helps reader… but they’re also lowkey stunting that growth to keep reader.

OH MY GOD IMAGINE YUU SMIRKING AT [insert guy that clearly like them] when reader allows yuu to physically guide them through the hallways. giving them a ‘wish this was you, huh’ face

reader quite literally SHADOWING yuu in social situations while the other characters are gripping the table in anger thinking: that should be me

reader allowing yuu’s leg and shoulder to touch theirs as they’re sitting down. and yet… when the boy(s?) try to do it reader jerks away like they have the plague 😔

reader whispering something into yuu’s ear which causes them to burst out into howling laughter, everyone urging reader to say it out loud or for yuu to share. but then y’all both give each other, the look, then you speak (!!) ‘can’t, it’s a super secret☺️’

…brotha what🧍🏻

yuu’s honest reaction to the chaos they’re spreading:

yuu is going to be very devious in this series

run reader!! run!!

#there’s no place to run 🤭#YALL WERE ADMITED TO NRC FOR A REASON🗣️🗣️🗣️#twisted anxiety 🌀#twisted wonderland x reader #tiyoin’s cuties 。　 ඞ 。

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exilepurify · 1 year

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I see people everywhere all the time raving about how flawless and satisfying MP100’s ending episode is, and I agree. But sometimes it kinda takes me aback exactly how well-planned the entire story is, especially because it began as a webcomic.

The individual relationships Mob has with the “Big Three” (Reigen, Teru, Ritsu) each follow their respective themes from start to finish, with the application of each theme to the story changing as it progresses but the major idea remaining the same—until the final arc, which is broadly split into three episodes, each featuring the culmination of the respective relationship.

Teru’s theme is strength, Ritsu’s theme is communication, and Reigen’s is acceptance.

More under the cut bc this got a little long.

We find each of the Big Three struggling with these concepts throughout the series. Teru grapples with what it really means to be strong, Ritsu struggles to open up and communicate his feelings with his brother (garnering resentment), and Reigen refuses to accept the self he hates, opting instead to build his career and his relationships out of lies to hide this despised identity.

These are also, coincidentally, things Mob is struggling most with. Mob’s terrified of his strength, he’s unwilling to open up about his guilt and self-hatred, and he outright refuses to accept his powers and his repressed self on many occasions throughout the story.

But the finale is structured to not only perfectly demonstrate and polish off the ways in which the Big Three have overcome the struggles of their themes, but also how that growth powers their love for Mob, subsequently helping Mob achieve the same growth.

In S3E10, Teru finds true strength by enduring pain and humiliation in order to save people and forge connections with others. Not only does he rescue Shigeo’s victims, but it’s his love and strength that allows him to push through Shigeo’s powers at any cost to wake Mob up internally and begin the process of ending the disaster. It’s because of Teru that Mob wakes up and realizes what he’s done, in much the same way that Mob helped Teru realize what he’d done at Black Vinegar.

In S3E11, Ritsu manages to communicate his unfiltered feelings to Shigeo for the first time and ends the tentative, repressive resentment boiling between them (both Ritsu and Mob harboring resentment for “Shigeo” specifically). He talks about how he hates this destructive side of him and how scared he’s always been, but this honest communication is what allows Ritsu to see the situation clearly beyond the scope of his repressed resentment and accept Shigeo as a part of his brother that’s not to be feared. It also opens the door from Shigeo’s end, finally knowing how his brother feels and not having to tiptoe ineffectually around the issue. Ritsu’s open and honest communication allows Mob to locate where Shigeo is being held in his psyche, opening up a channel of communication between him and his repressed self. This communication is what allows Mob to be confronted with the truth of the disaster he’s created, and this ability to talk it out with himself is crucial to ending his suffering.

Finally, in S3E12, the finale, Reigen is confronted with the ways in which he’s inadvertently worsened Mob’s condition with his inability to be genuine and makes the decision to drop the smoke screen and come clean about everything. The fear and gravity of it brings him to tears, but he bares his true self to Mob, admitting the things he’s done wrong and confronting the side of himself that he hates. He has to come to terms with this aspect of himself, even if it hurts him, and even if it hurts Mob. Self-acceptance is, in this moment, non-negotiable. Seeing Reigen’s true self in its entirety for the first time leads Mob to realize that everyone has flaws and a darker side to them, and it doesn’t make you a bad person to mess up, but you have to embrace it all unconditionally and own up to it honestly and without hesitation. Reigen, and everyone else, saw this ugly and angry side of Mob and continued to love him unhesitatingly and unfalteringly. And so, Reigen’s acceptance inspires Mob to accept Shigeo, ending the disaster and finally making Shigeo whole and happy again, unfettered.

It’s honestly fucking masterful. It makes my chest tight. ONE is genuinely something else.

#mp100 #mob psycho 100 #mp100 spoilers #mp100 s3 #confession arc #mp100 analysis #mp100 meta #shigeo kageyama #unknown percentage #teruki hanazawa #reigen arakata #ritsu kageyama

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gjenkatarot · 1 month

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tarot masterlist ☾ paid readings ☾ exchange readings

hello, pile one! before i begin, i want to mention that this person may be unfamiliar to you. they have feelings for you and have been observing you from a distance. this individual is empathetic and perceptive, able to understand and respond to the emotions of others. they are courteous and possess emotional resilience, which could make them a valuable mentor or advisor. they feel a sense of exhilaration and urgency when it comes to you. they may have some idealized perceptions of you due to their imaginative nature. they express their affection in unique and unpredictable ways. it's possible that this person has not shown you any clear signs, but they are genuinely interested in you. they are playful and somewhat flirtatious, and they perceive you as someone with depth and mystery. it's likely that they are older and wiser than you, and they may share similar values. your admirer may come from a background where tradition and stability are highly valued. despite any uncertainty, they always notice you, even in a crowd. however, they are hesitant to express their feelings, fearing it may lead to tension or conflicts, especially if they are aware of other people's interest in you. they could be struggling with conflicting emotions or external pressures, making it challenging for them to open up fully. they might be in a phase of letting go of past experiences and focusing on personal growth and healing, possibly seeing you as the source of greater fulfillment that they seek

channeled poem for you from your secret admirer;

[stormy seas by j.střelou]

i would rather swim in

stormy seas with you,

than sail calm waters with

anyone else

hi, pile two! your secret admirer is quite different from the person in pile one. this person is calm and quiet, preferring the peace and quiet of solitude to loud gatherings. they're the type who likes to mull over their thoughts and feelings, perhaps even enjoy problem-solving and deep thinking. your admirer might come across as wise and mature, looking for meaningful connections with others. they might hold back from expressing their feelings or making themselves known because they're worried about being turned down or disappointed. they might even think that you're not interested in them. but deep down, they're just waiting for the right moment to approach you. they're constantly weighing the pros and cons, trying to figure out if it's the right time to make a move. they're honest, respectful, and understanding, always making sure to think things through before acting. if they do decide to make a move, they might do something small, like giving you a little gift or offering words of support. they're witty and straightforward in their communication, preferring to be honest and open rather than playing games. they're also dedicated to their goals, patient in their approach, and focused on what they want to achieve.

channeled poem for you from your secret admirer;

[by f. scott fitzgerald]

i can't describe how i feel

but it's not quite right

and it leaves me cold

hey, pile three! your secret admirer seems pretty content with their feelings, happy to admire you from a distance. their emotions towards you feel genuine and sincere. right now, they might be going through some self-reflection or awakening, possibly because of their feelings for you. they feel like expressing their admiration for you could help them grow personally. however, they're having a tough time expressing their feelings openly. it's not that they're not interested—it's more like they're held back by their own thoughts. they might be dealing with self-doubt, fear of rejection, or other barriers that stop them from making a move. they have a strong intuition and are very in tune with their emotions. they're waiting for the perfect moment to reveal their feelings, trusting their gut to guide them. they're cautious about taking risks and may strive for perfection. it seems like they're holding back because they want to protect themselves. they're not the type to open up easily and may have some fears about being vulnerable. but despite all this, they're bold and assertive. they're not afraid to go after what they want, and they might even be planning how to approach you.

channeled poem for you from your secret admirer;

[i hear the birds sing by ashnalikyan, narine]

when i look at the sun

or the moon,

and listen to the birds

in the air,

i can't help but think of you-

how you light up the dark

and the day,

how even the smell of you

make flowers bloom.

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transpeculation · 1 year

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Okay so let’s talk about dramatic irony.

Colin’s big Flaw right now is his inability to be himself. This impacts his relationships with team members and also his football playing.

Ted’s speech from a few eps ago where he says “without shame” and the camera focuses on colin? that is where this flaw ties in with his growth as a football player.

We have seen colin make mildly homophobic remarks in the locker room “okay i’ll fuck zava”.

We have seen moments like this increasingly this season as the audience becomes aware of his sexual orientation.

This provides the audience with dramatic irony. The irony is that we know he is saying this to hide as a gay man but the characters in the scene do not.

We also know that what colin is doing is harmful to him. but he is unable to see that. all he is able to do is protect himself.

This episode is the first time (iirc) that we see him say something misogynistic instead of homophobic.

“i know what i’m doing this weekend”

to colin, this is not different. To most of the other players, this is not different.

To us, the audience, this is worse than what he was doing before. He is no longer weaponising homophobia (something he is a victim of) but misogyny (which he is not). you might argue that isnt worse but personally it rubbed me the wrong way and i think a lot of people would agree.

Importantly, some of the players on the team are also opposed to this misogyny.

At this point colin stops joking, and starts defending his real opinion (he shouldn’t have to delete his personal files just because they might be leaked).

This is an issue that some members of the team have beliefs about.

Jamie, Sam, and Isaac, stand up for women by making it clear that keeping nudes when there is a high risk of leaking is not okay.

But colin has skin in this game. Usually, he is never “real” in conversations like this. But this time things are different. He wants to keep the photos.

we see him defend this position by mentioning “memories.” this shows us that his desire is not lustful but sentimental in nature. i’ve seen others point out that this is a facet of his identity (that he is unable to outwardly express!). The photos mean something to him and he is angry at the idea that he is doing something wrong by keeping them.

I don’t think we have ever seen him defend an opinion genuinely before as the audience? In s1 he was pretty much trying to impress jamie. there was one comment about welsh pride but that came across as a joke. (Ted lasso writers make colin more welsh challenge)

And the first time he breaks his facade, the first time he shows his real face, he gets outed.

If he hadn’t cared about the photos he would have stopped arguing, stayed quiet and nodded along. made a joke maybe. something we’ve seen him do many times before. but he was honest about his opinions, so isaac was able to tell he hadn’t deleted anything when everyone else was.

SO: dramatic irony.

The audience knows that he wasn’t being serious with his first comment. “I know what I’m doing this weekend”

We know that that was a joke meant to act as a hyper-masc, homophobic, misogynistic shield in order to disguise his true self.

But the rest of the team do not know that. Issac does not know that. He has probably been making “jokes” like this, off camera, for years.

He leaps straight from a joke about masturbating to leaked nudes, to defending keeping photos that he knows there is a risk of leaking.

We, as the audience, know that he only wants to keep photos.

But Isaac thinks he might as well be defending the leak.

When Colin says “fuck off” to Isaac, he prompts him to take his phone. Isaac is acting the responsible team captain, here.

From what information he has, it just seems like colin is completely out of line. He’s defending misigyny, probably risking the safety and privacy of multiple women, being uncharacteristically rude and angry about it.

He probably has to deal with toxic behaviour from team members all the time. His own captaincy has been a source of growth for him, from the bully he used to be, to someone who tries to make sure everyone is behaving respectfully and as a team.

In any other situation I would want him to take the phone and delete the photos.

But he didn’t know that Colin also needed privacy. And colin was unable to express that to him as someone who is desperately hiding parts of himself.

So Isaac takes the phone.

I think this all explains Isaac’s reaction. Confusion, nods, leaves.

He is confused because he is learning that this interaction is absolutely not what he thought it was. He nods because he accepts that, bc it’s a totally different situation than he thought, he doesn’t need to delete the photos. then he leaves, because what else is he supposed to do.

And colin is left knowing that his slip-up (the first time we see him express a sincere and deeply held emotion in front of the team) caused the very thing he was so afraid of happening.

EDIT: oh also the irony of how isaac invades colins privacy while trying to protect other people’s because he doesn’t think of colin as someone who needs privacy from him. I allude to that but i meant to make is clearer. EDIT 2: corrected spelling of isaac

#ted lasso meta #ted lasso #colin hughes #isaac mcadoo #i have an essay due tomorrow im not proofreading this #hope its comprehensible

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soracities · 8 months

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how do you know when you're getting good at poetry? everybody dunks on halsey and rupi kaur's poetry, and i never really got why and idk if that's what i sound like

Honestly, I don't think there's ever a point at which you "know" you're getting good at poetry--I think "good" and "bad" are kind of vague and amorphous (and distracting) categories that don't do much in helping us understand the feel and impact of certain writing, chiefly because they can also be deeply subjective. How a poet views a particular work and how a reader views it will be very, very different because their relationship to the work is different. I also think "good" is a sort of external category that does not (or should not) carry into the act of writing itself--when you make "is this good?" the chief consideration as you write, you're not actually present in the writing: you're focused on the finished product, not the process, but the process is the most important thing: that's where the poem actually meets you. I think growth, in writing, is less about knowing if you're "good" in this regard, and more about being able to have confidence, or simply just trust, in the writing as it happens.

There's a famous saying somewhere that a work of literature is never "finished"--it just stops. I think skill, when it comes to writing, lies in recognising where this point is, in learning and developing how you navigate what it is you want to say, and how you say it. Some poems, eventually, reach a point where you can take them no further and you know there is nothing more to be said in them or through them. Some poems reach a point where you can take them no further, but there is still something left to be said in them. Those poems get revisited, worked, and reworked again, until they (maybe) get close to the first category: this may mean you work on them for a few weeks, or for years--but either way you are prioritizing the process of making the poem, not how it will be received. "Is this a good poem?" in my view at least, is not really the relevant question--what's relevant is "is this true to what I wanted to say?" Leonard Cohen famously wrote over 100 drafts of "Hallelujah"--I don't know if the central question for him here was just a matter of his skills as a songwriter.

Regarding Halsey and Rupi Kaur, I've only been able to read Halsey's poems through previews on Google Books so I don't know what other people's critiques are--based on what I saw, though, I don't know if it makes sense to criticize their quality as "poems" when she is primarily a songwriter and a lot of those poems wound up as songs. I'm more familiar with Rupi Kaur's writing, though, and others like her (Atticus, Michael Faudet etc), and while I have a personal policy of not getting into Kaur online (there's an ask here which is about as much as I'm willing to say regarding my feelings on her writing)--I can get into this trend or poetry "style" as a whole. And to be honest I think the chief issue here with poetry like this is that poetry, by definition, involves a deep and intimate relationship with language: this holds true regardless of whether the poem is simple, or complex, whether it's 5 lines long or goes on for 50 pages. As I said in that previous ask, it's not something you can reduce to a formula, nor is it a matter of mere reportage or a collection of statements: what makes a poem has nothing to do with line breaks (prose poems exist), but everything to do with how the language moves, how the language of a poem engages with its own content, with itself, and, as a result, with the reader.

The kind of work that proliferates on Instagram does not have that kind of engagement with language--they are, to me, pieces of information more than anything else. They reduce language to a series of stock phrases that act, not as actual words, but as images (and I don't mean this in a visually evocative way). It tries to evoke something that requires a thoughtful and sustained examination in order to be expressed, by surpassing the reality of what that examination actually requires. It tries to ape the effect of a powerful poem without the work that goes into actually being able to make that kind of a poem in the first place: and that work is a sustained encounter and confrontation with the language used and its relationship to what it tries to convey, in understanding that words are not interchangeable blocks you move around willy-nilly but that they have weight and intention, that they interact with each other to build up an idea or a feeling or a landscape in the most accessible way (insofar as language can make anything accessible, at least). But this is rarely, if ever, felt in IG poetry because it refuses to recognize or respect the demands and requirements of the medium it uses.

And because it is lacking in this engagement and recognition, these poems are also, for the most part, lacking sincerity--and this, to me, is one of the most crucial things when it comes to writing. I recall one IG poet whose work was in the same class as someone like Atticus, but I also recall one of his poems which genuinely moved me--and it moved me because, unlike everything else on his account, that poem felt sincere: the structure and the language wasn't any different to anything else he wrote, but in reading it, it was not a question for me of whether it was "bad" or "good"--what made the impact was that it was honest: and the difference showed. You can't come into a poem with ulterior motives. You can't come into it without an understanding, or respect, for the language you use. I'm absolutely not policing what people should or shouldn't read, and I'm not saying people are wrong for liking these poems, either, or that Halsey, Kaur, Atticus et al., are wrong for writing them. Expression is expression, and what speaks to you speaks to you. And to be honest, it is a different kettle of fish when you are writing something purely for yourself (and I think allowing yourself to partake in any kind of artform, without worrying about needing to be good at it, is deeply important for the human spirit)--but because they are putting their work out publicly, if we are going to be evaluating what they write and how they write it, that evaluation has to be rooted in an understanding of the art form they intend their work to be a part of.

For me, these are the main issues I have with these writers and their work and why I just do not like them. But I also want to stress that, ultimately, what you sound like in your own poems, anon, does not matter as much as being sincere to yourself does. As I said, I don' like using terms like "good" and "bad" and I think that often they're fairly reductive (and sometimes outright pointless) categories to use when we talk about and assess poetry--more than anything else, the key to building a robust and informed discernment when it comes to poems is to simply just read--read a lot of it and read widely. The broader and richer your repository of poetry (and literature in general) is, the more informed you are when it comes to all the different ways language can move through a poem, and all the different impacts it can have as a result. It deepens and enriches your understanding of all the different ways of looking at something, questioning something, expressing something. Your vocabularly grows and deepens; your net of associations--visual, linguistic etc--strengthens. And when this understanding grows you are able to place the things you read into a much wider and far more informed context. And this in turn allows you to grow as a reader and a writer. I hope this helps you a little, anon 💕

#ask #anonymous #book talks

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